Valerie Alston discusses how travel sports can be used intentionally to build young athletes’ perspective, character, mental toughness, adaptability, and gratitude. Inspired by a coaching friend who takes athletes overseas (especially to Italy) to experience different cultures, language barriers, and communal post-game meals, Valerie notes that international travel isn’t realistic for most families but that even trips to other cities, states, or environments can expand a child’s “bubble” when approached with curiosity rather than judgment. She encourages parents and coaches to prime athletes to adapt to unfamiliar routines, facilities, and conditions, and to use travel to gain experiences beyond the field through local food, landmarks, and reflection. The episode ends with conversation prompts for families and ways to engage with the podcast and newsletter.

00:00 Why Travel Matters

01:24 Italy Trip Lessons

03:51 Local Travel Perspective

05:08 Adaptability Mental Toughness

08:06 Gratitude Through Travel

10:31 Make Trips More Than Games

13:16 Conversation Prompts Setup

13:38 Questions For Families

16:58 Wrap Up And Resources

Discussion questions:

• What’s something you’ve noticed when we travel for your sport that feels different from home?
• What’s one thing you’ve learned from playing teams in other places?
• Did anything on this trip make you appreciate something about your life or your routine more?
• If we wanted to get more out of our travel experiences, what’s one thing we could start doing differently?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Host Valerie Alston explains the “hype vs. help” balance in sports parenting: hype meets an athlete’s emotional needs (confidence, safety, encouragement) while help provides advice, accountability, or technical support. She emphasizes unconditional love so kids don’t feel performance-based approval, suggests supportive phrases, and urges parents to align any pushing with the child’s goals—not the parent’s. Alston distinguishes accountability (collaborative planning, ownership, natural consequences) from forcing or punishment, especially in voluntary sports. She offers three decision questions—what they need emotionally, whether they already know what went wrong, and whether it’s effort or outcome—and notes timing matters because the right message at the wrong time can land poorly. The episode ends with family discussion prompts about feedback, goals, support after setbacks, and creating a non-punitive accountability system.

00:00 Hype vs Help Intro

01:07 Defining Hype and Help

01:57 When to Push Kids

03:30 Unconditional Love First

06:34 Goals and Accountability

11:34 Natural Consequences Not Punishment

14:58 Three Questions Framework

19:47 Timing and Simple Model

21:53 Family Conversation Prompts

25:28 Wrap Up and Resources

Discussion questions:

1. After games or practices, when do you want me to just encourage you, and when are you open to feedback?
2. What are your goals right now in your sport — and how can I support you in reaching them?
3. What does support look like to you when things don’t go well?
4. How can we work together to stay consistent with your goals without it feeling like pressure?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Host Valerie Alston shares a story of a young softball player whose confidence dropped after seeing a friend’s home-run highlight reel, illustrating how social media, rankings, select teams, and recruiting talk fuel the “comparison trap.” She explains that online highlights show only best moments, not the full process, and that development is not linear, especially as teens mature at different rates. Constant comparison can undermine confidence, create fear of failure and perfectionism, and reduce enjoyment by shifting sport from growth to status—sometimes reinforced by parents’ comments. Alston encourages families to shift to personal growth by tracking controllables and progress (skills, effort, decision-making, mental resilience) and using other athletes as inspiration to study and learn from, not as measuring sticks, offering tips like limiting comparison triggers, journaling, celebrating growth, and reflecting after games.

00:00 Softball Comparison Trap

02:02 Why Social Media Hurts

03:59 Rankings and Early Labels

06:25 Confidence and Fear Spiral

08:39 Shift to Growth Mindset

10:39 Turn Rivals into Teachers

12:29 Family Action Steps

16:05 Car Ride Questions

18:52 Takeaway and Wrap Up

Watch Episode 58: Early Specialization vs Late Bloomers https://youtu.be/SVYMW7p9xQ0

Discussion questions:

1. When do you notice yourself comparing the most — games, social media, practice, or something else?
2. What’s one area where you’ve improved this season that you’re proud of?
3. Is there an athlete you admire — and what specific things could you learn from them?
4. How can we focus more on your personal progress instead of comparing you to others?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Host Valerie Alston explains why the post-game car ride can either strengthen or strain a young athlete’s love of sport and the parent-child relationship. She emphasizes there is no one-size-fits-all approach and encourages parents to “read the room,” consider athletes’ physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion, and let the child lead—or skip the conversation entirely. Alston warns against turning car rides into interrogations and suggests protecting joy by focusing on connection, support, and age-appropriate reflection. When discussing performance, she recommends balancing growth with celebration using a positive-to-negative ratio (e.g., 3:1), praising effort and character, and asking the athlete what they want to improve. She also proposes creating a family “car ride code” with simple ground rules and ends with guided discussion questions.

00:00 Why Car Rides Matter

01:24 No One Size Fits All

02:18 Read The Room

05:58 Ask First Not Interrogate

08:00 Protect The Joy

10:07 Reflect And Celebrate

13:27 Create A Car Ride Code

16:01 Conversation Questions

19:37 Wrap Up And Next Steps

Episode #47: The 24 Hour Rule for Post Performance Reflection https://youtu.be/j5Yg_bnX_dA or https://3cscarrideconversations.captivate.fm/episode/47/

Discussion questions:

1. How do you let your parents know that you are open to talking our you just need space?
2. Do you like talking about games right after they happen, or later?
3. What’s something that makes the ride home feel supportive instead of stressful?
4. What’s one ‘car ride home rule’ we should start using?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Valerie Alston discusses research shared by Steve Magnusson on Sweden’s soccer development system, challenging the myth that athletes must be elite early to succeed. The data showed three nearly equal pathways to national-team level: 34% debuted at U15–16, 33% at U17–18, and 33% at U21 or directly to the senior team, with 12% of senior internationals having no junior international experience. Players from lower-ranked domestic clubs were overrepresented at senior levels, and junior participation was not a prerequisite for senior success. Alston argues development is non-linear and individualized, warns against early specialization, burnout, and weeding kids out too soon, and emphasizes work ethic, resilience, and character-building. She ends with conversation questions for athletes and parents about pressure, what skills matter, and long-term goals.

00:00 Late Bloomers Win

00:53 Welcome and Purpose

01:23 Sweden Study Setup

02:31 Three Pathways Data

04:04 What It Means

05:03 Why Early Elite Fails

08:21 Advice for Athletes

10:46 Advice for Parents

12:04 Fixing US Youth Sports

13:27 Family Discussion Questions

17:42 Wrap Up and Subscribe

https://www.instagram.com/p/DVQ2BUtFN5R/?igsh=MWJzdWtjc2h6ZW00cw==

Discussion questions:

1. “Do you ever feel pressure to be ‘ahead’ of other kids your age? Where do you think that pressure comes from?”
2. If being elite early doesn’t guarantee long-term success, what skills do you think actually matter most as you get older?”
3. What would change about how we approach sports if our main goal was character and resilience instead of rankings and teams?”
4. If you picture yourself 5–10 years from now, what kind of athlete, and person do you want to be? Shift the conversation from What team are you on? To Who are you becoming?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston uses two contrasting 2026 Winter Olympics free skate finals to explore how mindset shapes performance and the experience of competing. She discusses Ilia Malinin entering as the heavy favorite, describing overwhelming attention, internal nerves, and pressure that contributed to a poor free skate and a drop to eighth place. In contrast, Alysa Liu returned after retiring for two years due to burnout, spending time in college classes, hiking, skiing, and reconnecting with life outside skating; she came back skating for joy and artistic expression, choosing her music, choreography, and costume design, and delivering a gold medal performance with what commentators called “California Calm.” Valerie explains the difference between performing for external approval and outcomes versus performing for love of the game, and how tying identity and self-worth to results can create anxiety and overthinking that disrupts automatic skills. She encourages athletes and parents to build a healthier performance mindset by developing interests and relationships outside sport, remembering that results don’t define personal worth, and intentionally reconnecting to joy when nerves rise. The episode ends with guided car-ride discussion questions about pressure versus enjoyment, grounding activities outside sport, reconnecting to why you love your sport, and finding joy and resilience even when results don’t go as planned, including Valerie’s example of a favorite softball game that her team lost in 18 innings against Northwestern.

Discussion questions:

1. Pressure vs. Enjoyment: How do you feel when you think about performing for others vs. performing for yourself and your joy in the sport?
2. Perspective Check: What activities or relationships outside your sport help you feel grounded and less defined by scores or results?
3. Internal Meaning: How can you remind yourself why you love your sport the next time nerves show up?
4. Resilience in Response: When something doesn’t go as planned, how can you reconnect with joy instead of dwelling on pressure?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston explores how athletes manage pressure during the Winter Olympics. She discusses why pressure itself isn't the enemy and how interpreting it differently can determine success. Valerie offers insights on mental toughness, resilience, and confidence, with specific examples from Olympic athletes. She provides conversation prompts for parents and young athletes to discuss how to handle high-pressure situations effectively. Tune in for advice on harnessing nerves and focusing on performance rather than outcomes.

00:00 Introduction to Pressure in Sports

01:03 The Winter Olympics: A Case Study

01:28 Understanding Athlete Reactions to Pressure

03:02 Mental Strategies for Handling Pressure

06:41 Youth Sports: Applying Olympic Lessons

11:21 Conversation Prompts for Families

15:28 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Discussion questions:

1. When do you feel pressure most in your sport—and what do you usually tell yourself in those moments?
2. How can feeling nervous actually mean you’re prepared and invested?
3. What’s one phrase you could use to turn pressure into focus?
4. As a parent/coach, how do we talk about pressure without making it heavier?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

In this episode of 'Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families,' host Valerie Alston offers a preview of her new podcast 'The Clutch Academy.' This clip features Jack Smithlin, a coach with over 50 years of experience and an unbeaten record, discussing what it means for athletes to be confident, calm, and clutch. He shares insights on building mental performance, grit, and redefining success to foster resilience and love for the game. Whether you're a parent or a coach, learn valuable strategies to help athletes perform under pressure. Don't miss out on more tips and updates on 'The Clutch Academy' by subscribing to the newsletter!

00:00 Introduction to Clutch Performance

01:48 Meet Coach Jack Smithlin

02:25 Defining Confidence, Calm, and Clutch

03:14 Building Confidence Through Practice

04:32 The Importance of Mental Performance

09:19 Strategies for Coaches

14:24 The Mind-Body Connection

17:41 Car Ride Conversations

20:07 Closing Remarks and Newsletter Sign-Up

Discussion questions:

1. What helps you feel confident going into a game or tryout? Parents: What did confidence look like for you when you were younger?
2. Why do you think being calm helps you play better? What could we do before games or at home to help each other stay calm and focused?
3. Can you remember a time you were “clutch” you stepped up under pressure? What helped you rise to that moment? How can you build that mindset for next time?
4. What do you think matters more to a coach: results or effort? Why? How does that change how you see your role as a teammate or a player?

🎧 Sneak Peek: The Clutch Academy Podcast (Launching 2026!)

In the new year, I’m launching a new podcast called The Clutch Academy where I’ll interview coaches across sports and levels to unpack this core question:

How do great coaches build athletes who are confident, calm, clutch and full of character?

We’ll dive into:

- What they say at practice, after games, and in tough moments

- How they develop leadership and mental resilience

- The strategies they use to help athletes succeed on and off the field

If you’re a coach with something to share or know someone who should be on the mic I’d love to hear from you.

👉 Click here to apply to be a guest on The Clutch Academy

https://valstoncoaching.typeform.com/clutchacademy

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

This week on Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston shares a personal story about dealing with unexpected snowfall in the South and its parallels to sports challenges. Valerie discusses adaptability, problem-solving, and maintaining humor under pressure. She relates her snow day experience to athletes needing to adjust to adverse conditions and unplanned situations. Listen in for meaningful dialogue about resilience, mental toughness, and confidence-building while exploring engaging conversation starters for parents and young athletes. This episode is perfect for families looking to build stronger relationships and lifelong skills, one car ride at a time.

00:00 Snow Day Struggles and Lessons

00:42 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

01:15 Creative Snow Shoveling Solutions

03:25 Adapting in Sports and Life

06:33 Humor and Perspective in Problem Solving

11:19 Interactive Car Ride Questions

15:15 Conclusion and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. Have you ever had to figure something out on the fly in your sport when things didn’t go as planned?
2. When conditions aren’t ideal — weather, refs, equipment, teammates — what helps you stay focused instead of frustrated?”
3. What’s something that felt harder than expected at first, but got easier once you adjusted?
4. How important do you think it is for athletes to be able to laugh at mistakes or awkward moments?”

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

In this episode of 'Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families,' host Valerie Alston discusses the importance of making good habits satisfying to ensure they stick, especially for young athletes. Valerie explores the principles behind behavior change, as detailed in James Clear's book 'Atomic Habits,' emphasizing the Fourth Law of Behavior Change: make good habits satisfying and bad habits unsatisfying. She provides actionable strategies for parents and coaches to help young athletes pair behaviors with rewarding outcomes, track progress, and create immediate satisfaction to foster long-term behavior change. Valerie also shares practical tips for using habit trackers and gamification to maintain motivation and consistency. Don't miss out on valuable insights into building stronger relationships, promoting mental toughness, resilience, and confidence in young athletes.

00:00 Introduction to Building Lasting Habits

00:15 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

00:50 The Science Behind Behavior Change

01:17 Law 4: Making Good Habits Satisfying

04:09 Creating Instant Rewards

10:35 Tracking Progress and Building Streaks

13:06 Handling Setbacks and Maintaining Momentum

16:35 Engaging Family Conversations

20:10 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Atomic Habits link: https://amzn.to/49rZNP4

Discussion questions:

1. When you finish a habit you’re trying to build, what kind of reward actually motivates you — something fun, something relaxing, or seeing your progress?
2. Which habits feel hardest to stick with, and what kind of reward would make showing up feel worth it?”
3. How could we reward effort and consistency, not just performance or results?”
4. Would tracking your habits or building a streak motivate you more than a physical reward? Why?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston explores how to make big goals attainable by shrinking habits to ensure they stick. Drawing inspiration from 'Atomic Habits' by James Clear, Valerie discusses the importance of making good habits easy to start and emphasizes the value of consistency over perfection. She offers actionable advice on breaking down daunting tasks into manageable steps, piggybacking new habits on existing ones, and making bad habits harder to start. Ideal for parents and young athletes, this podcast aims to foster mental toughness, resilience, and confidence through practical, everyday conversations.

00:00 Introduction to Effective Habits

00:49 Understanding the Third Law of Behavior Change

01:42 Making Habits Easy to Start

04:04 Practical Examples for Athletes and Students

05:34 Attaching New Habits to Existing Routines

06:33 Eliminating Bad Habits

08:10 Building Mental Toughness and Discipline

10:49 Conversation Prompts and Challenges

15:19 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Atomic Habits link: https://amzn.to/49rZNP4

Discussion questions:

1. What habit feels hardest to start right now?
2. How could we shrink that habit so it feels easier to begin?
3. What daily routine could we attach that habit to?
4. What’s one distraction we could make harder to access during school or practice prep?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Join host Valerie Alston on this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families as she dives into the science of habit formation and motivation. Learn how to connect habits to purpose, enjoyment, and identity, and discover practical tips from James Clear's book, 'Atomic Habits.' Valerie discusses the dopamine feedback loop, temptation bundling, and surrounding yourself with the right influences to build effective habits. Ideal for parents and young athletes aiming to improve mental toughness, resilience, and confidence, this conversation will help you build stronger relationships and lifelong skills. Tune in for actionable advice on making habits stick and avoiding negative behaviors. Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insightful discussions!

00:00 Introduction to Motivation and Habits

00:20 Podcast Introduction and Host Welcome

01:07 Understanding the Second Law of Behavior Change

01:52 The Dopamine Feedback Loop

02:44 Temptation Bundling Explained

04:03 Practical Examples of Temptation Bundling

06:22 Combining Temptation Bundling with Habit Stacking

07:27 The Role of Belonging in Habit Formation

09:35 Surrounding Yourself with the Right People

12:48 Reframing Negative Habits

14:41 Interactive Questions for Listeners

18:44 Conclusion and Call to Action

Atomic Habits link: https://amzn.to/49rZNP4

Discussion questions:

1. What’s something you want to do every day — and something you need to do — and how could we pair them together?
2. Who are 2-3 people you’re around often who have habits you admire — and how do those habits influence you?(Friends, teammates, older players, etc.)
3. When you hear someone say “I have to go work out” vs. “It’s time to get stronger and faster,” how do those feel different?
4. What’s one habit you could make more attractive this week — and what would help make it feel more fun, social, or rewarding? (Could be schoolwork, workouts, even sleep routines)

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston discusses the importance of habit formation over motivation for achieving long-term goals. She dives into the science of habit formation and shares practical tips on building effective habits for athletes and their families. Valerie highlights the significance of making good habits obvious and bad habits invisible. She provides actionable strategies, inspired by James Clear's 'Atomic Habits,' for creating an environment conducive to achieving goals. Valerie also prompts listeners to engage in meaningful family conversations about identifying and implementing new habits. Join the conversation for insights on building mental toughness, resilience, and confidence while fostering stronger family relationships. Don't forget to share this episode and subscribe to Valerie's newsletter for more tips.

00:00 Introduction to Motivation and Habits

00:52 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

01:26 Kicking Off January with Better Habits

03:19 Understanding Habit Formation

06:13 The Habit Loop Explained

09:11 Making Good Habits Obvious

10:56 Eliminating Bad Habits

12:17 Aligning Habits with Identity

14:11 Practical Tips for Building Habits

16:15 Family Discussion Questions

19:58 Conclusion and Next Steps

Atomic Habits link: https://amzn.to/49rZNP4

Discussion questions:

1. What’s one habit you do automatically without thinking?
2. What’s a good habit we could make more obvious this week?
3. What’s one distraction we could make less visible?
4. Where could we place reminders to help you succeed?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

Every athlete experiences slumps—periods where performance doesn't meet expectations. In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston explores the nature of slumps, why they occur, and how to overcome them. Valerie shares her personal story of switching to left-handed hitting in softball and the growth that came from this challenging season. Learn about the importance of going back to basics, focusing on controllables, and maintaining a curious mindset. This episode provides practical advice for young athletes and their parents on how to navigate these tough periods and ultimately emerge stronger. Tune in for valuable tips on building mental toughness, resilience, and confidence. Remember to subscribe and share if you find this episode helpful!

00:00 Introduction: Understanding the Slump

01:09 Defining a Slump: What It Is and Isn't

02:59 Personal Story: Overcoming My Slump

07:55 Strategies to Break Out of a Slump

12:09 The Importance of Patience and Resilience

16:11 Interactive Q&A: Reflecting on Your Slump

20:19 Conclusion: Keep the Conversations Rolling

Discussion questions:

1. What part of your game feels like a slump right now — and what do you think that slump might be trying to teach you?
2. If we focused less on stats and more on small wins, what would success look like for you this week?
3. Can you think of a time when something felt hard in the moment but ended up helping you in the long run — like my switch-hitting story?
4. How can I support you during a slump without adding pressure?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

***NEW COACHES PODCAST***

I’m getting ready to launch a brand-new podcast called The Clutch Academy  where I’ll interview coaches across sports and levels to unpack this core question:

How do great coaches build athletes who are confident, calm, clutch  and full of character?

If you’re a coach with something to share  or know someone who should be on the mic  I’d love to hear from you.

👉 Click here to apply to be a guest on The Clutch Academy

https://valstoncoaching.typeform.com/clutchacademy

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V 

Failure isn't the enemy; it's the best teammate you can have. In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston discusses the importance of embracing failure as part of the growth process for athletes. Valerie explains how a growth mindset, where athletes view their abilities as improvable with effort and practice, can transform failures into learning opportunities. She contrasts this with a fixed mindset, where abilities are viewed as static, and emphasizes the importance of redefining success beyond just wins and stats. The episode also provides practical tips for fostering a growth mindset, setting tangible goals, and redefining success. Conversation prompts are provided to encourage meaningful dialogue between parents and young athletes about mental toughness, resilience, and confidence.

00:00 Introduction: Embracing Failure

01:11 Understanding Failure in Sports

02:52 Building a Growth Mindset

09:08 Redefining Success Beyond Wins

15:20 Conversation Prompts for Families

19:52 Conclusion and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. “What’s a recent mistake or failure that actually taught you something useful?”
2. “If success wasn’t about winning today, how else could you define it?”
3. “How do elite athletes you admire talk about failure — and what does that teach you about how they improved?”
4. “How do my (parent or coach) reactions — my words, tone, or body language — after your tough moments affect the way you feel about failure?”

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V 

Join host Valerie Alston in this insightful episode of 'Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families,' where she introduces the 24-hour rule to help athletes move past their performances—both good and bad. Learn how to use an effective post-performance review process to build confidence, stay motivated, and focus on future growth. Valerie discusses the importance of experiencing emotions, transitioning to evaluation, and finally, taking action. Explore five key areas to reflect on after every game or practice: competence builders, confidence builders, goal review, mental game plan, and game strategy. Whether you're a parent or an athlete, understand how to make these reflections a quick habit and explore practical examples. Subscribe, share, and take your athletic performance to the next level!

00:00 Introduction to the 24 Hour Rule

00:29 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

01:00 Understanding the 24 Hour Rule

01:47 Emotional Reflection and Evaluation

04:38 Post Performance Review Process

05:03 Five Key Areas of Reflection

10:42 Moving from Reflection to Action

14:23 Engaging in the 24 Hour Rule

18:55 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Discussion questions:

1. What went well for you today — what part of your performance are you genuinely proud of?
2. If you had to pick one thing to improve on next time, what would it be and why?
3. After your 24 hours are up, what’s one thing you want to focus on moving forward?
4. How can we make your post-performance review a quick, positive habit after games or practices? How and where will you record it?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V 

In this special Thanksgiving episode, we explore the power of expressing gratitude out loud to deepen relationships and turn appreciation into action. Valerie shares practical tips for sparking meaningful conversations about gratitude at the Thanksgiving table and beyond, along with insights from her extensive experience teaching resilience to Army soldiers. Tune in to learn how to make gratitude a lasting practice in your family, hear conversation prompts to use during the holiday, and get motivated to keep the gratitude practice alive year-round. Join us for an episode full of heartfelt stories, valuable lessons, and actionable ideas to enhance your family's connection and wellbeing. Happy Thanksgiving!

00:00 Introduction to Thanksgiving and Gratitude

00:26 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

00:59 Thanksgiving Preparations and Family Plans

01:53 Reflecting on Last Week's Gratitude Practice

03:01 The Power of Sharing Good Things

05:02 Deepening Gratitude Through Conversation

09:35 Thanksgiving Gratitude Prompts

11:21 Continuing Gratitude Beyond Thanksgiving

13:57 Conversation Prompts for Gratitude

16:32 Closing Remarks and Additional Resources

To try the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge for Free go here: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/30daygratitudechallenge 

Discussion questions:

1. What’s something you noticed or learned from doing the gratitude practice last week?
2. Who is someone you want to thank in person this week, and how could you do it?
3. What’s one Thanksgiving tradition or moment that makes you feel most grateful?
4. How can we keep gratitude part of our family routine after the holiday?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V 

Discover how gratitude can be a powerful tool for mental toughness and performance in sports In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston delves into the concept of mental toughness and emphasizes the importance of gratitude as a powerful performance tool. Valerie explains how practicing gratitude can enhance happiness, stress management, resilience, and overall mental toughness. She introduces a simple yet effective gratitude practice called the 'Three Good Things' exercise, which involves noticing and reflecting on good things daily. Valerie provides scientific insights on why gratitude matters and offers practical tips for incorporating it into daily life, specifically for young athletes and their families. The episode concludes with a series of thought-provoking questions designed to spark meaningful conversations and encourage ongoing gratitude practices within families.

00:00 Introduction to Mental Toughness and Gratitude

01:34 The Science Behind Gratitude

02:36 Negativity Bias and Its Impact

05:04 Gratitude in Sports Performance

07:56 Three Good Things Exercise

12:27 Reflection and Gratitude

14:23 Gratitude Practice Challenge

18:06 Discussion Prompts and Conclusion

To try the 30 Day Gratitude Challenge for Free go here: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/30daygratitudechallenge 

Discussion questions:

1. What’s one thing that went right for you today, big or small?
2. Who’s someone on your team or at school you’re grateful for — and why?
3. What challenge are you thankful for because it taught you something?
4. How can we remind each other to notice ‘three good things’ this week?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V 

In the final part of our series, host Valerie Alston engages in a deep conversation with Justin about the You Matter Ankeny Classic, a unique softball tournament focused on mental health and sportsmanship. Justin shares how he brought together counselors, coaches, and athletes to create an event that emphasizes character over competition. This episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families explores the importance of mental health in sports and offers actionable insights for communities looking to replicate this impactful model. With discussion prompts and tips for parents, this episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in youth sports and mental wellness.

00:00 Introduction to the You Matter Ankeny Classic

00:23 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

00:56 Justin's Perspective on Mental Health in Sports

01:10 Creating the You Matter Ankeny Classic

02:56 Tournament Highlights and Innovations

04:40 Encouraging Sportsmanship and Community

06:16 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

08:19 Discussion Prompts for Families

12:31 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

To reach out to Justin about starting a tournament or project like this email him at jbogers81@gmail.com 

To participate in the tournament please visit: https://usssa.com/baseball/event_home/?eventID=409341  or email the Ankeny Girls Softball Association at: ankenygirls.softball@usssa.com 

Discussion questions:

1. What does “You Matter” mean to you when it comes to sports and teammates?
2. The You Matter Classic gave the biggest trophy for sportsmanship. If you were designing an award for your team, what would it celebrate and why?
3. How do you think sports could look different if every tournament or season focused more on mental health and kindness?
4. What’s one simple way our family or team could make sports more fun and supportive for everyone?
5. How can we, as adults, help keep the joy in sports for kids especially when competition gets intense?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V 

In this episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families, host Valerie Alston continues her discussion with Justin Boger, a board member of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. They explore the critical role sports play in fostering youth mental health and wellness. Topics covered include current trends in youth mental health, the importance of a supportive sports environment, goal setting, visualization, and resilience-building techniques. Valerie and Justin share practical strategies for coaches and parents to help young athletes build confidence, calm, and resilience. Tune in for valuable insights on creating a positive, growth-oriented sports culture and engaging conversational prompts for sports families.

00:00 Introduction to Car Ride Conversations

00:03 Shifting Focus: Coaching Wellness

01:02 Youth Mental Health Trends

02:36 Building Community Through Sports

05:01 Goal Setting and Visualization Techniques

07:05 Strategies for Mental Toughness

09:38 Celebrating Small Wins

15:23 Discussion Prompts for Families

19:32 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

To reach out to Justin about starting a tournament or project like this email him at jbogers81@gmail.com 

To participate in the tournament please visit: https://usssa.com/baseball/event_home/?eventID=409341  or email the Ankeny Girls Softball Association at: ankenygirls.softball@usssa.com 

Discussion questions:

1. When do you feel most confident playing your sport? What helps you get to that state
2. Justin talked about using goal cards and visualization—how could you use something like that before a game or at practice?
3. What makes a team feel like a safe place to you? How can teammates help each other feel that way?
4. Think about a time you made a mistake in a game. How did your coach or teammates respond—and what would have helped you bounce back faster?
5. (Parent add-on) How can we focus on praising effort, attitude, or teamwork more than outcomes this week?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here.

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V 

Join Valerie Alston and special guest Justin Bogers, a dad, coach, and board member for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, in this insightful episode of Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families. Explore the highs and lows of youth sports, focusing on building character, mental health, and sportsmanship. Hear an eye opening story about a post-game handshake gone wrong and learn valuable lessons on emotional control for coaches, parents, and players. Tune in for actionable tips, heartfelt stories, and meaningful conversations to help young athletes grow both on and off the field. Stay tuned till the end for discussion prompts and information on the You Matter Ankeny Classic for Mental Health softball tournament.

00:00 Introduction to Car Ride Conversations

01:34 Meet Justin Bogers: Coach and Mental Health Advocate

03:43 The Post-Game Handshake Incident

07:13 Handling Emotions and Setting Examples

09:49 Building a Positive Sports Community

19:58 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Coaches

22:39 Closing Remarks and Resources

To reach out to Justin about starting a tournament or project like this email him at jbogers81@gmail.com 

To participate in the tournament please visit: https://usssa.com/baseball/event_home/?eventID=409341  or email the Ankeny Girls Softball Association at: ankenygirls.softball@usssa.com 

Discussion questions:

1. Have you ever seen a coach, parent, or player lose their cool at a game? How did it make you feel in that moment?
2. What are some ways we can calm ourselves down when we’re frustrated by a bad call or a tough play?
3. Why do you think it’s important for coaches and parents to admit when they make mistakes too?
4. What do you think kids learn more from—winning, or how adults handle winning and losing?
5. (Parent reflection add-on) What’s one emotion you find hardest to manage when watching your child play, and how could you handle it differently next time?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

In the final episode of the Special Car Ride Conversation series, host Valerie Alston and her dad, a former coach, delve into the core values that matter in youth sports. The discussion covers the significance of emotional regulation, body language, and prioritizing effort over outcomes. They offer insights on maintaining open communication between parents and children, the importance of coaching with character, and embracing mistakes. The episode emphasizes the vital role of being a positive role model and how it shapes young athletes. Valerie and her dad share personal stories, practical advice, and invite listeners to reflect on their strategies and behaviors. Whether you are coaching or cheering from the sidelines, this episode provides valuable lessons on building stronger relationships and lifelong skills. The episode concludes with conversation prompts for listeners to engage in meaningful discussions.

00:00 Introduction to the Final Episode

00:47 Welcome and Purpose of the Podcast

01:20 Understanding the Parent-Coach Dynamic

01:55 The Role of Effort and Communication

03:11 Lessons from Personal Experiences

06:41 The Importance of Body Language

10:54 Modeling Behavior and Respect

14:12 Final Thoughts and Prompts for Discussion

18:12 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. When you make a mistake during a game—or in how you respond to one—how do we usually handle it as a family? Follow-up: How could we do better at giving each other grace and learning from it?
2. How does a coach’s (or parent’s) body language or tone impact how you feel during a game? Follow-up: What are some signs we can look for that show encouragement, even when things aren’t going well?
3. What kind of feedback motivates you most—cheering, quiet support, tough love, or something else? Follow-up: As a parent or coach, what feedback are you trying to give—and what might your athlete be hearing instead?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

In this episode of Car Ride Conversations, Valerie Alston and her former coach/dad share crucial advice for parent coaches. Discover how to define your role, why life skills trump the scoreboard, and managing emotional highs and lows while coaching your own child. Learn about transforming average athletes into game changers through mental skills like anticipation and awareness. Perfect for both novice and experienced coaches, this episode is packed with insights to help build confident, resilient young athletes. Join us for practical wisdom and honest reflection to enhance your coaching journey.

00:00 Introduction to Coaching Your Own Kid

01:14 Defining Your Role as a Parent Coach

03:13 Building Life Skills Through Sports

05:50 The Mental Side of Sports

07:34 Practical Tips for Parent Coaches

11:39 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Kids

15:15 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Discussion questions:

1. When a coach makes a decision you don’t like—about playing time, positions, or strategy—how do you usually react? Parents: How do you think your reactions influence your child’s attitude? Kids: What kind of support do you want in those moments?
2. What do you think is more important—winning games now or learning skills for the future? Why? How can both parents and athletes keep the focus on growth instead of just results?
3. What’s one mental skill—like anticipation, awareness, or focus—you could both practice this week?How would practicing that skill change how you play, coach, or support each other during games?
4. As a family, how can we better handle the “car ride home” after games What’s the best way for us to talk about effort, learning, and next steps without focusing only on stats or outcomes?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

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In this episode of 'Confident Calm Clutch Car Rides Conversations,' hosted by Valerie Alston, discover how you can train your brain and body to stay calm under pressure. Learn to recognize personal signs of stress through the stoplight analogy, and explore simple yet effective tools like deep breathing and reset cues to regain control. Perfect for young athletes and their parents, this episode provides actionable strategies for building mental toughness, resilience, and confidence, ensuring peak performance when it matters most. Join us for tips, conversation starters, and more to create meaningful car ride dialogues that strengthen relationships and lifelong skills.

00:00 Introduction: Train Your Brain to Stay Calm

01:07 Understanding Stress and Performance

03:32 The Stoplight Analogy for Emotional Awareness

07:26 Breathing Techniques to Reset Your Body

11:09 Mental and Sensory Reset Cues

15:40 Discussion Questions for Athletes and Parents

18:26 Conclusion and Additional Resources

Discussion questions:

1. What are your personal signs that tell you you’re starting to lose calm — in your body, mind, or emotions?”
2. Can you think of a ‘red light’ moment in your last game or practice? What would help you get back to yellow or green next time?”
3. Which calm switch strategy — breathing, reset cue, or body anchor — do you think would work best for you?”
4. How can I, as your parent, help you notice your ‘lights’ and remind you to reset without making it worse?”

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Join host Valerie Alston in this insightful episode of Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations as she delves into the power of visualization and mental rehearsal. Learn why visualization works, how it enhances the brain-body connection, and how athletes of all levels can benefit from this powerful mental training tool. Whether you're a parent of a young athlete or an athlete looking to boost your mental toughness, this podcast offers valuable tips and conversation prompts to spark meaningful dialogue about resilience, confidence, and motivation. Tune in to discover how visualization can help you focus, stay motivated, and build a mental blueprint for success.

00:00 Introduction to Mental Training Tools

01:14 Understanding Visualization

02:52 The Science Behind Visualization

04:13 Practical Applications of Visualization

05:57 Benefits of Visualization

08:54 Effective Visualization Techniques

12:57 Conversation Starters for Athletes and Parents

15:29 Conclusion and Additional Resources

Discussion questions:

1. If you could watch a mental highlight reel of yourself, what play or skill would you want to see?
2. Before a game, what would be most helpful for you to picture in your mind — a single skill, your routine, or the whole game?
3. Parent how can you use visualization in your own life — maybe before a presentation, a meeting, or even a tough situation — so you can both practice this skill together?
4. What’s one moment from your last practice or game we could both visualize together so you’re ready to nail it next time?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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Getting injured as an athlete isn't just about healing your body, it's also about healing your mind. In this episode host Valerie Alston delves into the emotional ups and downs of being injured and discusses how mental skills can speed recovery. Valerie shares her personal injury story, explores the grief process associated with injuries, and offers actionable tips for athletes and their parents to grow stronger mentally and emotionally during tough times. From mindfulness practices to effective self-talk and maintaining optimism, this episode is packed with valuable insights. Tune in for practical advice on support networks, maintaining mental clarity, and ensuring a positive recovery journey. Don’t miss out on these crucial tips for building resilience and mental toughness, whether you're an athlete, parent, or coach.

00:00 Introduction: The Emotional Toll of Athletic Injuries

00:50 Personal Injury Story: Valerie's Experience

04:14 The Grief Process in Injury Recovery

07:55 Mindfulness and Mental Strategies for Healing

16:18 The Importance of Support Systems

20:02 Discussion Questions for Athletes and Parents

23:26 Conclusion and Additional Resources

Discussion questions:

• How are you really feeling about being injured — frustrated, sad, hopeful, or something else?
• What’s one thing you can control during recovery that might help you feel more confident?
• How can I support you best right now — encouragement, reminders, or just listening?
• If you have a setback in recovery, how would you want me to respond?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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In this special episode of Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston is joined by her teenage niece, Ireland, who shares her journey of transitioning from dance to competitive tennis. They discuss the challenges of not making the team initially, the motivation behind her continued efforts, and the lessons learned about mental toughness, energy management, and confidence. Whether you're a young athlete starting out or navigating new challenges, this episode offers fresh insights and relatable moments. Don't miss this inspiring chat that explores how to build resilience and confidence through sports.

00:00 Introduction: A Dancer's Journey to Tennis

01:13 Meet Ireland: From Dance to Tennis

02:12 Starting Tennis: The Initial Struggles

03:57 Balancing Act: Time Management and Motivation

06:11 Mental and Physical Challenges

08:31 Technical Difficulties and Key Takeaways

11:49 Reflective Questions for Listeners

15:10 Closing Remarks and Resources

Discussion questions:

1. Have you ever tried something new and failed at first—like not making a team or struggling with a skill? What made you want to keep going (or not)? What helped you get better?
2. How is your sport (or activity) different from others you’ve done before? What new skills—mental or physical—have you had to build?
3. When you’re in a long, tough practice or match, what helps you stay focused or motivated? How can we build more of that mental strength together?
4. What’s harder for you—physical effort or mental effort? Why? What strategies do you use to push through either one when things get hard?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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Join host Valerie Alston in this episode of Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations as she explores the power of self-talk and its impact on performance. Valerie introduces the P3 formula—Purposeful, Productive, and Possibility focused self-talk—to help athletes and parents build effective internal dialogue. From sharing a Stanford study on mindset to providing actionable tips and examples from various sports, this episode aims to help young athletes enhance their mental toughness, resilience, and confidence. Tune in for insightful questions and discussions to make each car ride a valuable opportunity for growth.

00:00 Introduction to Self-Talk

00:59 The Power of Mindset

05:30 The P3 Formula for Effective Self-Talk

08:23 Instructional vs. Motivational Self-Talk

10:10 Creating Your Game Day Script

13:23 Interactive Q&A Session

16:50 Conclusion and Next Steps

Discussion questions:

1. What do you usually say to yourself before or during a game? Does it help or hurt?
2. If you could write down your top 3 game day phrases, what would they be?
3. Do you like self-talk that tells you what to do (instructional) or that pumps you up (motivational)?
4. How can I (as your parent/coach) remind you of your P3 self-talk without adding pressure?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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In this episode host Valerie Alston explores the crucial role of attentional focus in sports performance. Discover why it's essential to minimize distractions and learn two effective skills to help athletes direct their attention to what's most important. Valerie also provides insights on how parents and coaches can support athletes in maintaining their focus amidst different challenges. Whether you're on the way to practice, a game, or running errands, join Valerie for valuable tips on building mental toughness and fostering strong relationships during your car rides. Don't miss practical advice on creating reset routines and using the 'What's Important Now' (WIN) cue for better performance.

00:00 Introduction: The Power of Focus in Sports

00:31 Welcome to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations

01:09 The Overloaded Brain: Understanding Cognitive Capacity

03:07 The Importance of Skill Automation in Sports

04:34 Managing Cognitive Load: Bandwidth and Attention

05:37 Identifying and Eliminating Distractions

07:41 Two Key Skills: WIN Cue and Reset Routine

10:49 Practical Tips for Parents and Coaches

14:57 Conversation Prompts for Athletes and Parents

18:14 Conclusion and Next Steps

Discussion questions:

1. What are the top 1–2 things you think are most important to focus on in your sport?
2. What’s one distraction that pulls your focus away the most?
3. Which ‘reset routine’ could help you get back on track after a mistake?
4. How can I (as your parent/coach) remind you about ‘What’s Important Now’ without adding pressure?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

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In this episode of Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston emphasizes the importance of building confidence through small, everyday wins rather than relying solely on stats and big plays. Alston shares practical tips and real-life examples from her experience working with athletes, helping them redefine success by focusing on effort, growth, execution, and character. Tune in to learn how parents and young athletes can foster mental toughness, resilience, and confidence through meaningful dialogue during car rides.

00:00 Introduction: Building Confidence Beyond Trophies

00:23 Welcome to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations

00:56 Redefining Success: A Basketball Player's Journey

02:46 Alternative Indicators of Success

04:27 Small Wins in Different Sports

05:33 Importance of Small Wins in Practice

07:04 Broadening Your Definition of Success

08:23 Four Key Factors of Success

11:39 Engaging in Meaningful Conversations

14:53 Conclusion: Keep the Conversations Rolling

Discussion questions:

1. What’s one small win you had at practice or in a game this week that wouldn’t show up on a scoreboard?
2. Which feels better to you — making the big play once in a while or stacking small wins consistently? Why?
3. How do you know when you’ve had a ‘successful’ practice or game, even if you didn’t score or get recognized?
4. What’s one way I (as your parent) can celebrate your small wins better?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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Welcome back to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations with your host Valerie Alston! In this episode, we tackle the common pre-game mental trap of 'What if?' thoughts that cause anxiety and hinder performance. Learn how elite athletes manage these thoughts to stay focused and present in the moment. Discover two key strategies: mindfulness for grounding yourself in the present and 'If-Then' planning for productive game prep. Perfect for athletes and parents alike, this episode offers practical tools to build mental toughness and resilience. Join us and turn every car ride into an opportunity for meaningful dialogue and lifelong skills development!

00:00 Introduction: Overcoming the 'What If' Trap

00:17 Welcome to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations

00:54 Understanding the 'What If' Thoughts

01:51 The Mind-Body Connection and Anxiety

04:27 Grounding Techniques to Stay Present

07:38 Productive 'What If' Thoughts and Strategy

10:59 Interactive Discussion Questions

12:53 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Discussion questions:

1. When you get nervous, what’s one thought that tends to pop up first?
2. What’s something I can say to myself instead that would help me focus?
3. How can we help each other focus more on what we can control, not what might go wrong?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

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00:00 Introduction to the Fade Out Effect

01:12 The Marshmallow Test Revisited

04:01 The Importance of Environment in Skill Retention

07:15 Practical Advice for Parents and Coaches

09:11 Engaging Questions for Kids and Parents

12:24 Conclusion and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

• When I tried to teach you to stay calm under pressure, what helped you keep practicing that? How can I or others support you more consistently?
• Think of a time you felt mentally strong on the field—what did others around you do that helped you maintain that? How can they keep doing it?
• If the coaches, teachers, and I agreed on one daily habit to reinforce your mental game, what would it be and how could we remind each other?
• What support do you wish you had on tough days—someone to encourage you, remind you, or celebrate small wins?

Article

https://psyche.co/ideas/what-the-marshmallow-test-got-wrong-about-child-psychology 

Video

https://youtu.be/4L-n8Z7G0ic?si=u_6C_Dbl7r3FxON0 

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

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00:00 Introduction: Championship Coach Meets Middle School Team

00:49 Welcome to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations

01:22 The Middle School Softball Experience

02:33 Funny Moments and Lessons Learned

04:21 The Importance of Meeting Athletes Where They Are

05:22 Father-Daughter Bond Through Sports

09:59 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Athletes

14:11 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. Have you ever been part of a team or group where you felt a little behind or unsure Parents: Can you share a time you felt that way too? How did you get more comfortable or confident?
2. What helps you feel supported when you're learning something new—especially when it's frustrating?How can we do a better job of encouraging each other during those “beginner” moments?
3. What’s one activity or experience we’ve shared that helped us feel more connected—like we were really on the same team? Follow-up: Is there something new we could try together to build more of those moments?
4. Why is it important for coaches (and parents) to meet kids where they’re at instead of expecting them to be perfect right away? Follow-up: What’s one area you feel like you're still growing—and what kind of support helps you most in that area?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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In this episode of Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston chats with her dad and former coach about the invaluable lessons learned from coaching over 100 games a year. They discuss how these experiences translate into parenting techniques, the ineffectiveness of yelling, and the importance of values over volume in shaping a team. The episode offers honest stories, practical advice, and a three-step mindset every coach or parent should adopt. Whether you're a parent of an athlete or looking to be a better mentor, this conversation provides insights on building resilience, confidence, and stronger relationships.

00:00 Introduction to Car Ride Conversations

01:29 Lessons from Coaching: Parenting and Pressure

02:40 Real-Life Coaching Stories

04:32 The Importance of Values and Mindset

06:27 Effective Communication and Emotional Management

08:10 Three-Step Coaching Process

09:28 Engaging with the Podcast Community

10:37 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Kids

13:30 Conclusion and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. How do we each tend to respond to pressure during tough moments—whether it's in a game, at school, or at work? Follow-up: What helps you feel more calm or focused when things get stressful? What could we do better as a team (parent and athlete)?
2. Have you ever felt like a coach (or teacher) didn’t believe in you—or totally did? What made you feel that way? Follow-up: As a parent, what can I do to show you I believe in you—especially when things aren’t going perfectly?
3. Which matters more to you: having a big moment of success or feeling like you’re getting a little better every day? Why? Follow-up: How do we usually celebrate progress in our family or team—and is there something we should do more of?
4. When was a time one of us used humor or just laughed something off to help deal with a mistake or tough moment? Follow-up: Do you think it helped? How can we use humor or positivity more when things don’t go our way?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

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In this episode of 'Confident, Calm, Clutch Car Ride Conversations,' host Valerie Alston dives deep into the essential traits that make athletes not just withstand but thrive under pressure. Valerie, a former athlete and sports psychology professional, breaks down the three core traits—confidence, calm, and clutch—and explains why they are vital for success not only in sports but also in school and life. This episode features actionable tips on how to train for these high-pressure moments through practice and mental rehearsal. Perfect for parents, young athletes, and coaches, this podcast aims to foster meaningful dialogue and lifelong skills one car ride at a time.

00:00 Introduction to Confidence, Calm, and Clutch

03:09 The Importance of Confidence

03:53 Mastering Calmness Under Pressure

04:37 Understanding and Developing Clutch Performance

06:36 Applying Clutch Skills Beyond Sports

08:55 Training for Pressure Situations

15:24 Reflecting on Pressure Moments

16:51 Interactive Discussion and Conclusion

Discussion questions:

1. When was the last time you felt pressure in a game, test, or life moment? What happened—and how did you handle it?
2. Do you think being clutch means never getting nervous? Why or why not?
3. What are 1–2 pressure scenarios you could practice this week—either for real or in your mind?
4. What’s something I (as your parent) could do to help you practice pressure without adding more stress?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

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00:00 Introduction to Confidence and Body Connection

00:51 Understanding the Mind-Body Link

02:31 Fight or Flight: The Body's Response to Stress

05:15 Harnessing Nervous Energy for Performance

06:42 Breathing Techniques for Athletes

13:11 Grounding Techniques to Stay Present

18:21 Family Discussion and Reflection

20:31 Conclusion and Next Steps

Download the FREE Mental Skills Journal here

Discussion questions:

1. How do you usually feel in your body before a game or big moment?
2. Have you ever tried a breathing routine to calm down? What worked—or didn’t?
3. What’s one thing you could do to stay centered during pressure moments?
4. How do we (as a family) talk about nerves? Is it seen as something bad—or normal?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

In this episode of Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston introduces the reflect journaling process as a powerful tool for athletes to learn and grow from every experience. Valerie emphasizes that confidence is built not just from winning but from learning and reflecting on both successes and failures. The episode explores the 'REFLECT' acronym, guiding athletes and their parents on how to recall events, understand emotions, focus thoughts, identify learning moments, evaluate strategies, create action plans, and track progress. This consistent practice promises to build confidence and resilience, using personal experience as the ultimate learning tool.

00:00 Introduction to Building Confidence

01:01 The Source of Confidence: Personal Experience

02:02 Learning from Failures

03:36 The Reflect Process: An Overview

05:52 Reflect: Step-by-Step Breakdown

10:07 Implementing the Reflect Process

15:50 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Athletes

19:11 Conclusion and Additional Resources

Download the FREE Mental Skills Journal here

Discussion questions:

• What’s something you learned about yourself from your last game or practice?
• When you mess up, what helps you move forward rather than dwell on it?
• Which part of REFLECT feels most useful to you right now?
• Would you be open to journaling together or reviewing your reflections with me sometimes?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

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What if the voice inside your head was your biggest fan instead of your harshest critic? In this episode of Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston explores the powerful, yet often overlooked tool of self-talk to boost confidence. She introduces the P3 method—Purposeful, Productive, and Possibility-focused thinking—to train your inner voice to be your best teammate. Learn practical strategies like the AIR Technique (Awareness, Interruption, Replacement) to reshape your internal dialogue and improve mental toughness, resilience, and confidence. Whether you're a parent or a young athlete, this episode provides actionable insights to perform your best in any situation. Tune in to transform your self-talk and build lifelong skills, one car ride at a time.

00:00 Introduction to Self-Talk for Confidence

01:42 The P3 Approach: Purposeful, Productive, and Possibility Focused Thoughts

04:38 Effective Self-Talk Strategies: The AIR Technique

07:47 Proactive Self-Talk: Training Your Brain

10:00 Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk

13:16 Parental Support: Encouraging Productive Thoughts

15:15 Discussion Prompts and Final Thoughts

Download the FREE Mental Skills Journal here

Discussion questions:

1. What kind of things do you say to yourself during a game or practice? Would you say those same things to a teammate?
2. Can you come up with one “anchor phrase” that helps you refocus when things aren’t going well?
3. How do you think your self-talk changes when you're confident vs. when you’re struggling?
4. As a parent, how can I model or reinforce positive self-talk for you?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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In this episode of Confident Calm and Clutch Car Ride Conversations, host Valerie Alston and her father reflect on Valerie's challenging junior year in softball. They discuss the struggles of striking out with bases loaded in a championship game and dealing with a coach who made arbitrary decisions. They offer insights on how they navigated this tough period, the importance of mental toughness, and the role of family support. This episode is a must-listen for parents and young athletes navigating difficult sports seasons and looking to build resilience and confidence.

00:00 Introduction to a Challenging Journey

01:12 Reflecting on Junior Year Struggles

02:07 Parental Support and Resilience

04:08 Overcoming Adversity and Seeking Help

05:44 Adapting to New Coaching Styles

09:23 Lessons Learned and Moving Forward

10:52 Discussion Prompts for Parents and Athletes

14:35 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Discussion questions:

1. “Have you ever had a coach or situation that made you question your confidence or love for your sport? How did you respond—or how could you respond differently next time?”
2. “When things feel unfair—like losing your spot or dealing with tough coaching decisions—what are some things you can still control?”
3. “What does it mean to be a great teammate—even when you’re not the one on the field? Why do you think college coaches care about that?”
4. “How do you want your parents to support you when you’re struggling in sports? What helps, and what doesn’t?”
5. “As a parent, what’s the hardest part for you when you see your child struggling in their sport? Is it the fear of lost potential, watching their confidence dip, or not knowing how to help?”
6. “How do you typically respond in those moments—and what message do you hope your child receives from you when you do?”

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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00:00 Introduction to Car Ride Conversations

01:25 Memorable Moments on the Diamond

04:59 Hilarious Off-Field Stories

06:09 Leadership and Team Dynamics

07:28 The Importance of Strategy and Preparation

09:39 Overcoming Adversity and Building Confidence

18:33 Concluding Thoughts and Conversation Prompts

Discussion questions:

• “What’s a moment in your sport that made you feel proud—not just because of the outcome, but because of the effort or growth behind it?”
• “What do you think makes a good teammate—and how can you tell when a team is truly ‘bought in’ like the stories from the episode?”
• “Have you ever made a bold decision—like switching something big in your game or trying something new—and stuck with it, even when it was hard?”
• “What’s a funny or unexpected moment you’ve had in sports that you’ll never forget? How did that moment bring your team closer?”

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

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00:00 Introduction: The Parent-Coach Dynamic

01:23 The Psychology of Sideline Behavior

02:17 Building a Winning Team Culture

03:12 Handling Pressure and Maintaining Composure

05:47 Inclusive Coaching and Player Development

10:17 Conversation Prompts for Parents and Kids

13:33 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. What do you think matters more to a coach—effort or performance? Why? Follow-up: Have you ever had a game where you gave full effort but still made mistakes? How did it feel?
2. How should a team handle pressure when a game gets tight? Follow-up: What helps you stay calm and focused in big moments? What makes it harder?
3. Why is it important for every athlete to know their role on a team—even if they’re not always playing? Follow-up: What’s one way a coach or teammate could help someone feel more included even when they’re not on the field?
4. How should parents or coaches talk to kids about playing time or position changes?Follow-up: How would you want that feedback to be delivered to you?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

Discussion questions:

1.  “If you could design your ideal college experience, what would it look like — both on and off the field?”
2. “Do you feel like we’re on the same page when it comes to your recruiting goals? What do you think we agree on — and what might be different?”
3. “What part of the recruiting process feels exciting to you? What part feels stressful?”
4. “How can I support you better through this process without taking over too much?”

Find the Future First, Softball Second Podcast here: https://www.diamonddynamics.org/podcast.html 

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

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00:00 Introduction to College Recruiting

01:18 Meet Quincy Lewis-Buggs: Recruiting Expert

01:40 Key Considerations for Starting the Recruiting Process

02:37 Letting Athletes Lead the Process

03:23 The Role of Parents in the Recruiting Journey

04:39 Practicing the Process: Early Steps for Young Athletes

05:40 Understanding Different College Levels and Experiences

09:41 Taking Feedback and Showing Coachability

12:10 Evaluating Advice and Building a Support System

16:49 Final Thoughts and Words of Wisdom

18:43 Discussion Questions and Wrap-Up

Find the Future First, Softball Second Podcast here: https://www.diamonddynamics.org/podcast.html 

Discussion questions:

• “Do you really want to play in college — or does it feel like someone else wants it more than you do?” -Opens up honest dialogue about motivation and ownership of the journey.
• “If a college coach gave you feedback today — would you be able to take it and grow, or would it shut you down?”- Helps athletes evaluate their coachability and mindset around constructive criticism.
• “Who’s in your support system vs. your inner circle when it comes to making big decisions?” -  Encourages thoughtful separation of emotional support from expert guidance.
• “What does your ideal college experience look like — not just softball, but your life outside the game?” - Shifts focus from just chasing a label (D1, D2, etc.) to defining personal success.

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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00:00 Introduction: The Realities of College Softball

01:16 Meet Quincy Lewis-Buggs: Softball Powerhouse

02:00 The Harsh Realities of College Athletics

04:34 Versatility: The Key to Success

12:24 The Importance of Independence and Life Skills

17:41 Discussion Questions for Athletes and Parents

19:47 Conclusion and Next Steps

Find the Future First, Softball Second Podcast here: https://www.diamonddynamics.org/podcast.html 

Discussion questions:

• "If you got to college tomorrow, what part of being a student-athlete do you think would be hardest for you — and why?"
• "How would you feel if you didn’t start right away in college — what would you do about it?"
• "What are 2 or 3 other positions you think you could learn to play well — and how could you start practicing that now?"
• "What’s one ‘adulting’ skill you could start taking responsibility for this season to be more ready for college?"

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666

00:00 Welcome to Car Ride Conversations

00:09 Introducing 'One Pitch At A Time'

02:02 Exclusive Sneak Peek: The Soccer Game

02:52 Valerie's Softball Discovery

05:18 Meeting Coach Ray and the Team

08:25 Valerie's Decision and Family Support

11:35 Doctor's Visit and New Beginnings

14:20 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1: “What helped Valerie be brave enough to throw that ball and join the practice, even though she didn’t know anyone and had her eye patch on?”

Why it matters:

This question invites kids to analyze courage in action — not the absence of fear, but the choice to act despite it. It helps them see that confidence isn’t something you wait for — it’s something you build through action. Parents can also share times they felt nervous but took a step forward anyway, creating a moment of mutual vulnerability.

2: “Have you ever worried people might make fun of you like Valerie did? What helped you feel better — or what do you think would help next time?”

Why it matters:

This opens up space for conversations about self-image, peer pressure, and emotional resilience. Kids often carry fears silently, and hearing a parent affirm that it's okay to feel that way — and that those feelings can be managed — builds trust and inner strength. It also offers parents a glimpse into their child’s social world.

3: “Why do you think Valerie decided to switch from baseball to softball — and what can we learn from her decision?”

Why it matters:

This frames change as a form of growth, not failure. Mental toughness often means adjusting to new paths instead of rigidly sticking to one plan. Valerie’s choice shows adaptability, a key psychological skill. Parents and kids can reflect on moments where being open to change led to a better outcome.

For a FREE pdf copy of One Pitch At A Time plus the bonuses mentioned in the episode got to: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/one-pitch-at-a-time-prelaunch 

You can also go straight to Amazon by following this link: https://amzn.to/3BhKqeA 

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

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00:00 Introduction to Shedeur Sanders' NFL Draft Journey

01:30 Lessons in Humility and Preparation

05:15 The Importance of Resilience

06:40 Character and Teamwork Beyond Performance

08:04 Managing Public Perception

09:47 The Value of Support Systems

13:00 Conversation Prompts and Closing Remarks

Discussion questions:

1. Shedeur Sanders was projected as a top pick but fell to the fifth round. How do you think he felt during that experience, and how might you handle unexpected setbacks in your own life?

2. How can you differentiate between being confident and being humble, and why is that distinction important?

3. After being drafted, Sanders expressed gratitude and a desire to prove himself. How can adopting a mindset of gratitude and determination help you grow, even when things don't go as planned?

4. What steps can you take to ensure you're not only skilled but also prepared and respectful in your endeavors?"

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

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In this episode of 'Confident Calm and Clutch Car Ride Conversations,' host Valerie Alston introduces a fun and engaging way for parents and young athletes to build stronger relationships through conversation. The episode features a game of 'Would You Rather?' with a mix of silly, sport-related, and meaningful questions designed to spark laughter, curiosity, and connection. Valerie shares personal anecdotes and advice on the importance of spending time together and having open communication. Tune in for a delightful car ride conversation that fosters mental toughness, resilience, and confidence.

00:00 Introduction to Building Relationships Through Conversation

00:50 Inspiration Behind the Episode

02:04 Setting the Stage for 'Would You Rather?'

02:39 Diving into 'Would You Rather?' Questions

08:03 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

08:20 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

• Would you rather always play in slow motion or always play with cartoon sound effects in the background?
• Would you rather have your parent cheer loudly at every game or silently support you from the back row?
• Would you rather get honest feedback that helps you grow or endless praise that feels good in the moment?
• Would you rather have to sing everything you say for a whole day or dance everywhere you go?
• Would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or be able to talk to animals?
• Would you rather win the championship but play your worst game, or lose in the first round but play your absolute best?
• Would you rather relive your best sports moment or go back and redo your toughest one with what you know now?
• Would you rather have a pet dragon or a pet unicorn?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter 

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching

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00:00 Rory McIlroy's Historic Masters Victory

00:34 Introduction to Mental Strategies

02:59 Embracing the Worst Case Scenario

06:05 Staying Present and Focused

07:30 Positive Self-Talk and Support

08:40 Following a Game Plan

10:22 Maintaining Perspective

12:11 Discussion Questions and Wrap-Up

Discussion questions:

1. "How do you remind yourself that sports are just one part of your life, not the whole picture?"

2. "Can you think of a time when focusing too much on winning took away from the fun of the game?"

3. "What do you enjoy most about playing your sport, regardless of the outcome?"

Golf Channel Interview with Rory: https://youtu.be/nJnewVf8AK8?si=jHd0pOx-af5X7qk_

His post Game press conference is gold!! Watch here: https://youtu.be/hx-0OtBswEQ?si=p_1KGqJiO2zYgf0o 

Pay particular attention to:

• 10:10- 11:38 - Nerves are normal, stay present
• 17:13 - 18:00  Regrouping and Reframing
• 24:14 - 25:06 Perspective

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Parents join my facebook group: here

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

Questions? Comments? Ideas? Message me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com

Follow Me on Facebook / Instagram @valstoncoaching

Watch episodes and other content on Youtube @valstoncoaching9666

00:00 Introduction to Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations

00:23 A Full Circle Moment with Robert Tas

02:27 Valerie's Journey into Mental Performance Coaching

03:34 The High School Softball Game That Changed Everything

06:29 Transitioning from Athlete to Coach

08:10 Challenges Faced by Today's Youth Athletes

09:20 Writing the Book: Confident, Calm & Clutch

10:39 Interactive Car Ride Conversations

13:34 Conclusion and Call to Action

Discussion questions:

1. Have you ever had a game or performance where you felt like you had to be perfect? What was going through your mind in that moment? → Follow-up for parents: “What did you believe about mistakes when you were growing up?
2. What’s something you’ve felt responsible for—even though it wasn’t 100% on you? → This one opens up a dialogue about shared responsibility in team sports (and life), and lets kids know it's okay not to carry the entire load.
3. How do you usually calm yourself down when you're nervous or anxious before a game, test, or performance?→ Share strategies as a family—like breathing, music, positive self-talk, or movement.
4. What does ‘confidence’ mean to you? Do you think it comes from results, or something else?"→ Great opening to talk about how confidence is built—not just felt—and how it can grow through skills and preparation.

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here.

In this episode of Confident Calm Clutch Car Ride Conversations, the focus is on addressing some of the biggest mental challenges young athletes face today, including confidence, performance pressure, and handling disappointment. Host, joined by Robert Tas, founder of Hoopwrld.com, delve into how social media, performance comparisons, and natural negativity bias impact young athletes. They also share practical strategies for defining success, managing nerves, and reflecting in ways that boost motivation. The episode includes discussion prompts for parents and athletes to spark meaningful conversations during car rides, aiming to help young athletes develop mental toughness and grow in their sports journey.

00:00 Introduction to Today's Episode

01:27 Common Mental Challenges for Young Athletes

03:08 Defining Success and Managing Pressure

06:24 Handling Disappointment and Self-Reflection

10:41 Discussion Prompts for Parents and Athletes

14:31 Conclusion and Additional Resources

Discussion questions:

1. How do you usually define success for yourself in sports?

• Follow-up: Is that definition based more on things you can control (like effort, attitude, improvement), or things you can’t (like stats, scores, or other players)?

2. When you feel pressure or nerves before a game or event, what’s going through your mind?

• Follow-up: Are there things we can try together—like routines, mindset shifts, or breathing techniques—that might help you feel more calm and confident?

3. After a tough game or season, do you tend to focus more on what went wrong or what went well?

• Follow-up: Can you name 2-3 things you’re proud of from your recent games or practices?

4. Have you ever felt disappointed in your performance or your team’s outcome?

• Follow-up: What do you think caused that feeling—and how could that disappointment fuel your growth or motivate you moving forward?

Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go.

For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology

Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here DM me @valstoncoaching on Facebook or Instagram.

To learn more about Hoopwrld go to there website: http://www.hoopwrld.com