20 years ago my life changed when I made a commitment to no longer bully myself (or my body). I stepped over a line that day. And then I started practicing...

In this episode I share a short clip from a recent Befriend Yourself Workshop. I share a bit of my personal story and how I began walking in greater freedom.

I realized I could stop searching outside of myself for a “fix.” I wasn’t broken! Instead, I learned to turn toward myself. Life was always going to be messy but I could learn to calm the storm inside of me by being a loving, respectful, affirming friend to myself. By being on my own side.

I knew my relationship with myself had to change if I wanted a kinder, gentler life. And I knew I needed to commit to this change for my sake and to model health to my children.

Connect with Krista // receive support

4 days left for you to join the Brave + Beautiful Community for Spring Session: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review:

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcast. Thank you!

Resources

You can download the PDF of these 10 reminders here: click here.

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review:

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcast. Thank you!

But there's a good chance that while you want to grow, heal, and learn to be kinder to yourself and build a life you truly want, you're still trying to use those same old patterns that leave you exhausted, discouraged, and wondering if life-giving, sustainable change is truly possible for you.

It took you decades to build these patterns, so unraveling or deconditioning from these patterns doesn't happen overnight. But it is possible. For 11 years, I've been helping women do this work and experience so much more freedom and joy in their lives as they befriend themselves and learn how to be on their own side.

Resources to support you

Last chance to register for the free Befriend Yourself Workshop: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community (starting tomorrow, join for 6 or 12 months and get $300 off March 24-27 only): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

You'll learn four ways I'm caring for myself right now - they will likely serve you too. And I have a free spring self-care guide that you can use to support your mind-body-spirit health in the months to come.

Spring self-care guide: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/spring-guide/

Autumn self-care guide: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/autumn-guide/

Don't forget to register for the Befriend Yourself Workshop next week. Its free and I'm giving away free coaching sessions to two people who show up live: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/

In this episode I share more about this but one part of this breakthrough was realizing that I'd been feeling conflicted internally because ... well, this is NOT the life or family I wanted or dreamed of. Family was my first and primary dream and family has also been a source of incredible pain. Beauty too but the beauty, joy, and love do not cancel out the pain, fear, grief, and trauma. They simply coexist.

We can tell the truth about the incredibly painful parts of life and also continue handcrafting a brave and beautiful life. It may not be the life we wanted or dreamed of but it can still be good. Deeply imperfect and good.

Resources

Your relationship with yourself impacts every area of your life. And constantly judging, comparing, speaking to yourself unkindly… this is like walking around with a 200 pound backpack on your shoulders, all day, every day. It’s time to let this go!

Join the free Befriend Yourself Workshop: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/#sign-up

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

This idea encouraged me that the whole reason for having a rule or boundary was to protect and love my child. Authoritarian parenting was about me feeling in control, showing up from fear, and/or avoiding doing my own emotional regulation work.

We can also think of ‘relationship over rules’ in terms of our relationship and friendship with ourselves. No matter what, safety and compassion need to come first. Without safety we cannot grow, heal, or learn. And we deserve kindness always, no matter what.

We are always simply practicing – always in progress. And life is always changing. No matter how hard we work or how wonderful our life plans, we'll go through days or seasons when we need to flex and adapt due to illness, lower energetic capacity, or other unexpected circumstances.

This idea of relationship over rules reminds us that our self-imposed rules and boundaries are there to serve us. Not the other way around. So when life doesn't go according to plan, don't tip into judging and criticizing. Be adaptable. Take good care of yourself. Be on your own side, always, no matter what.

Join me for the free Befriend Yourself Workshop, March 24 or 25: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/

Decluttering our inner lives is just as important. But it can feel even more vulnerable than letting go of physical things. Learning to let go of old stories and patterns that no longer serve us is brave and stretching. And it is essential for an intentional, values-aligned, soul-honouring life.

For fun, I use a blog post by Jennifer Burger to walk you through some of the powerful benefits of decluttering both externally and internally.

Resources

6 Powerful Benefits of Decluttering Your Home + Life by Jennifer Burger: https://www.simplyfiercely.com/benefits-of-decluttering/

Rewilding in Midlife: Say Yes To Becoming Your True Self (get the free training): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/rewilding/

All this does is reinforce your old self-protective patterns and gives you more of the same. More of what is NOT working for you.

If you want to create loving, positive, healthy, sustainable change in your life, in your relationships, in your relationship with yourself, then you need to change a fundamental belief.

You don't need fixing. You are already whole.

You don't need to do better and be better. You need to BE your True Self and learn how to BE on your own side.

In this episode I walk you through a process of growth and becoming that I call Old Self - New Self - True Self.

Women arrive at my work at the New Self phase. I take them through this vulnerable, messy stage of becoming and help them meet and befriend their True Self. This is where they learn to lead from their Wise, Healthy, Brilliant Self more and more of the time.

The New Self phase is hard work. It's important to know that and normalize it. You will need to shed, strip away, question, decondition... and this can feel unmooring and destabilizing at first.

But - this is also where freedom and joy really begin to grow in your life.

You learn to receive what you truly want and need. You learn to be on your own side and really trust yourself. You learn to pause between impulse and response. You learn how to be with discomfort and show up through it vs quitting or hiding under the covers. And you put down deep, hardy roots of self-awareness and self-compassion.

If there is a part of you that recognizes a desire to say YES to more freedom and joy and self-kindness, then after listening to this episode, I invite you to listen to a free training about Rewilding in Midlife.

Rewilding in Midlife: Say Yes To Becoming Your True Self. Get the free training: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/rewilding/

Or if you are ready to work with me, reach out and we can book a free 25 minute call: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/schedule-a-free-chat/

But you don't show up for yourself.

You devalue your own wants and needs and you don't really know what to do about this problem.

You have inner wisdom calling you forward, towards something positive for your life. But you don't know how to get across that bridge. How to take that first step, or how to pick yourself right back up when you fall down. And you struggle with staying focused on what you want and need when other people want your attention, or they are unhappy with you, or the world is noisy.

You get pulled off track or distracted very easily.

So this episode is about why it is so important that you stop deprioritizing your own wants and needs. Why you need to learn how to not just have good intentions, but how to follow through when life is noisy or messy.

I share 7 common reasons why you get so easily distracted from your own wants and needs. My guess is that you'll recognize yourself in more than one.

And I mention 4 skills that you need to build in order to show up consistently to your own priorities, goals, or dreams.

Resources

Episode 11, How and Why to Shore up Leaky Boundaries: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/shore-up-leaky-boundaries/

Learn how we can work together: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/work-with-me/

Are you somebody who can feel or sense when somebody else is present in the home, even if they're not making any sound? And even though you love "your people" this takes a toll on you?

In this episode I talk about giving yourself permission to tend to your own needs by giving yourself alone time. Or permission to give yourself the spaciousness or the rest that you require in order for you to process inwardly and thrive in the season of your life.

This is particularly relevant, I find, for HSPs, neurodivergent folks, strong introverts, people who identify as empaths, or deep processors and big feelers.

And when the world is screaming for your attention, and everything feels urgent, this need for alone time or inward listening and processing becomes even more critical.

You can give yourself permission to respect and trust this aspect of your wiring. And even if circumstances are less than ideal, you can get creative about meeting this need.

Letting go of judgment and honouring your wiring in this way will help you feel healthier and happier which will then benefit every other area of your life. AND it will allow you to more effectively use your voice or areas of strength/gifting to advocate for the world you want to live in.

Resources

Learn to trust your creative process or your pace: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/trust-yourself-and-your-unique-creative-process/

Free for the month of February - The Make Space for Joy Workshop: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/joy-workshop/

Midlife women often do this around holidays or "special days" like Valentine's Day, their birthday, or Mother's Day.

Instead of waiting for other people to fill you up or make you feel loved, YOU need to get clear on what you want and need and take responsibility for filling yourself up.

You have PERMISSION to claim your wants and needs and figure out how to give yourself the experience you desire, or how to help yourself feel how you want to feel in your body and life.

If you want to invite someone else to be a part of your plans (and you may not), I recommend that first, you get honest about your expectations on that person.

We often have unspoken or undefined expectations and then feel hurt, disappointed, or resentful when people don't show up according to our imaginary ideals. This hurts us and it hurts the relationship.

You need to own your expectations and desires. If you don't get clear on this for yourself, how could someone else ever live up to this expectation? And even when you do identify your expectations on others, I recommend that you examine them in this season of your life.

Where do they come from? Are you comparing your very real, messy and beautiful life, to an imaginary ideal you picked up in a past season of life? Do you want to carry your old expectations or imaginary ideals forward? If not, let them go for your own freedom and joy. And if they do still matter to you, are you willing to communicate them to your partner, friend, or adult child?

Unless you are willing to clearly communicate your wants and needs to other people, you're setting everyone up for disconnection. Unless you are willing to be vulnerable and have the conversation, you need to release them from the expectation.

Imagine filling yourself up. Imagine no longer waiting for someone else to help you feel loved or wanted. Imagine making your own plans and then joyfully inviting others to join you in your plan, if desired, but knowing that your happiness and wellbeing is not determined by another person.

Being honest about the days and events that feel meaningful to us and giving ourselves permission to meet our needs and fill ourselves up is beautiful and freeing.

In this episode I also talk about other ways to give ourselves permission as midlife women. When we give ourselves permission, we model this to others as well. We offer up a new, joyful possibility to others.

The Joy Workshop - enjoy this FREE for the month of February: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/joy-workshop/

But you don't live in the vision. You must live fully present and awake in this day. This is where you commit to the brave and vulnerable work of daily practice. It's only with daily practice that you bring your vision to life.

But also this day is a gift. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. How you use today is how you show up tomorrow. How you treat yourself today impacts the fruit you grow 3 months or 3 years down the road.

Looking back to witness your progress and be proud of yourself is healthy and wise. Looking ahead to map out where you're heading or to get honest about who you are becoming and what you truly desire is also healthy and wise.

But the hard part - and the most important part of all of this - is coming back and living heart-open and awake in this day.

Because this messy practice is how you bridge the gap between what is and where you are heading. What are you committed to practicing?

I will help you craft a life vision and bridge the gap between current reality and what you want to bring to life:

Goal Setting Workshop: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/goal-setting-workshop/

Life Visioning Course: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/life-visioning-course/

Build your muscle of daily imperfect action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-practice-imperfect-action/

Have you ever heard the term "Joy Snacks"? This was coined by science journalist, Richard Sima. Joy Snacks are little bites of joy that, when mindfully savored, boost life satisfaction and wellbeing.

In this episode, I share 7 Joy Snacks from my life. And I encourage YOU to pause throughout the day to notice, savour, receive pleasure, feel awe, or otherwise enjoy the simple pleasures of each ordinary day.

This will support your resilience and it will help you feel more rested and present in your messy and beautiful life.

Learn about 7 types of rest and which ones you most need right now: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/true-rest-through-the-seasons-resources/

Before we demand of ourselves that we produce/create anything new, it's wise and kind to first ensure that we have the mental, emotional, and physical capacity to do so. Or that we are giving ourselves what we need to fill up and feel healthy and rooted.

In this short episode, I share 7 ways I'm taking good care of myself these days. Most of these ideas are basic (we still need to be willing to practice!) but no.7 might be new to you.

The Life Visioning Course: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/life-visioning-course/

In this course you will get the tools and support you need to reimagine your life from the inside out — learning to listen inward and build self-trust while creating values-aligned rhythms and practices that support you in feeling safe, at home, and joyful in your body and life.

In this episode I share one of my favourite all-time practices that has a huge ROI in my life. This will invite you to claim your PRACTICE for the year ahead.

It's a wonderful way to begin a new year because it invites us to get honest about how we want to feel in our bodies and lives and what we are willing to practice every day.

Beginning each new day, as part of our morning routine, by reviewing how we want to FEEL and how we can show up that way as move throughout our day, changes us.

With consistent (messy, imperfect) practice, we begin to embody the characteristics that we desire.

Don't defer your happiness or wellbeing for some future date when you arrive at a finish line or goal post.

Every single day you can choose how you want to feel and who you want to BE. It's not magic fairy dust... it's simply about what you are willing to practice.

How we can work together

1. Join me for an intention setting workshop: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/intention-setting-workshop/
2. Handcraft a Soul-Honouring Life in the Life Visioning Course: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/life-visioning-course/
3. Become the woman you truly want to be. Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (we begin January 12th): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

I mostly love this time of year... I love twinkly lights, dusky walks in wooded trails, and listening inward as I prepare to wrap up the calendar year.

But at this time of year people are also tired and sometimes emotionally reactive. In this episode I share one of my favourite quotes along with a couple key things to pay attention to for your benefit and that of everyone around you.

Then I share with you how a practice of seasonal living helps you befriend yourself and build self-trust.

The Intention Setting Workshop*free today and tomorrow when you join the B+B Community or Life Visioning Course: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/intention-setting-workshop/

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

Mentioned in this episode:

Seasonal Living clip

In this conversation, I share practical strategies for being on your own side throughout the holiday season—without abandoning your needs or losing yourself in the chaos. You'll learn why I recommend setting a clear intention that helps you honour your boundaries and stay empowered rather than falling into old patterns of people-pleasing or self-neglect.

In this episode, you'll explore:

• How setting a clear intention for the holidays helps you quiet the noise, focus on what truly matters, and release unnecessary pressure or expectations.
• The difference between what's yours to carry and what belongs to other people—and how to stop getting pulled into other people's drama or emotions.
• Why the story "I have to" keeps you disempowered, and how owning your power of choice (even when it feels uncomfortable) brings you back into agency.
• Simple strategies for preparing yourself before holiday events, including identifying regulating strategies for when you get activated, pre-deciding your boundaries, and building in daily rest and recovery time.
• How to be honest about internal conflict without shame—and why truth-telling is the pathway to integrity, empowerment, and ultimately more freedom and joy.

Being on your own side during the holidays isn't selfish—it's the foundation for showing up regulated, present, and truly able to create the experiences you actually want.

Begin your year on purpose. Take a look at the January Intention Setting Workshop: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/intention-setting-workshop/

By the end of this episode, you'll understand:

• Why everything in life feels lighter and easier when you're on your own side.
• How being on your own side builds self-trust and helps your inner critic finally relax.
• Real examples of what becomes possible when you're on your own side: setting boundaries, advocating for yourself, trusting your body's wisdom, and asking for support, for example.
• Why self-acceptance isn't about lowering standards—it's about creating the foundation for real growth.

This isn't about perfection or pretending. It's about choosing to love yourself now, show up for yourself now, and stop abandoning yourself or rejecting any part of yourself. Because who you are is needed.

Sign up for the free Befriend Yourself Workshop: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/

When we make peace with messiness, we make space for joy.

When we hit a bumpy patch or we feel discomfort because life is not going according to our thoughtful plans, and we believe that surely we must have done something wrong, or worse that WE ARE bad, wrong, or broken we are 1) resisting the reality of life and 2) causing our own suffering. Not everything is on your shoulders.

What you CAN do is 1) build examination into your day, week, and year so that you can mine for the wisdom in each life experience and 2) remind yourself often that the messiness or imperfection of life does not disqualify you from a brave, beautiful, meaningful life.

*In the episode I share how a friend and I both hate dipping into our emergency funds even thought that's what they're there for (but I said our "spending plans")

I had to postpone my befriend Yourself Workshops due to illness. So there is still time to register: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/

Often, we want to change the circumstances of life but we don't realize that the only way to do so in a sustainable and soul-honouring way, and in order to truly craft lives in which we feel at home, on purpose, and joyful... we must be or become the person who can and is open/willing to create and receive what we truly want.

When we take ownership for who we are being, we stop feeling disempowered and step into agency. We stop letting our emotions or thoughts (or other people insofar as we have power of choice) control our lives. And instead we build the habit of interrupting unhelpful thoughts and redirecting our thoughts toward what we DO want or what we CHOOSE to grow/water. We stop letting ourselves get away with mean self-talk and we commit to a no-bullying policy and to being on our own side.

At the core of all of this is your relationship with yourself. Do you value yourself, respect yourself, and believe that you are capable and worthy of safety, love, belonging, and goodness? Or do you not?

Your past, your previous struggles, your old ingrained patterns... they don't, determine your future. You have permission to heal, grow, and become.

You have permission to change - to change your story, change your relationship with yourself, change the people you allow to speak into your life, change your relationship to money, creativity, using your gifting, and more.

Learn more about walking in agency in episode 66, Sep 25.

Join me for the free Befriend Yourself Workshop on November 19th: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/

In this episode, I break down the science of self-talk and share practical ways to use it to reduce stress, improve performance, and strengthen your relationship with yourself. You'll discover why the WAY you talk to yourself matters more than you might think.

By the end of this episode, you'll understand:

• Why talking to yourself out loud is actually healthy and research-backed (not weird!).
• The surprising difference between first-person, second-person, and third-person self-talk—and which creates the most emotional distance from stress.
• How negative self-talk increases cortisol, impairs memory, and makes tasks feel harder.
• Why speaking to yourself like a good friend activates different brain regions and helps you regulate emotions faster.
• Simple ways to use self-talk during complex tasks, before high-pressure moments, and when you're feeling overwhelmed or alone.

Talking to yourself is a free, accessible tool to help your nervous system regulate, help you think more clearly, and practice being on your own side.

Sign up for the (free) Befriend Yourself Workshop: go here

Or set up a time to talk about working together: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress

In this episode, I examine 5 common objections I hear from growth-minded women who are skeptical about self-compassion and befriending themselves. The resistance comes because you've been taught that being hard on yourself is the only path to growth.

By the end of this episode, you'll understand:

• Why self-criticism keeps your nervous system in threat mode and how that actually prevents the change you're working so hard for.
• Why the words you use matter more than you think. It's not semantics; it's neuroscience.
• Why years of "working on yourself" may have left you exhausted and what to shift to make real, sustainable progress.
• Why taking care of yourself isn't selfish, it's the only way to show up fully for the people you love.
• Why "being gentle" doesn't mean being complacent and how fierce self-compassion creates lasting change.

This isn't about lowering your standards or letting yourself off the hook. It's about creating the internal foundation that makes growth actually possible and sustainable.

Grab the Autumn Self-Care Guide: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/autumn-guide/

The thoughts you think regularly or allow to run unchecked are not neutral. They have the power to harm or help you. It's critical that you notice your thoughts, learn to interrupt unhealthy thought patterns, and intentionally plant and water affirming and life-giving thoughts.

Even 30 seconds or three minutes a day will help intentional thoughts put down deep roots and bear fruit in time.

Take good care of yourself. You matter.

Krista xo

NOTE: Regarding the number of thoughts we have each day, sources differ and offer ranges of 6k to 60K/day.

Midlife women are chronically hard on themselves. But everything in life feels lighter and easier when we’re on our own side. My free assessment and Befriend Yourself Workshop will help: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/assessment/

Key Topics:

Why HSPs often feel like life requires more effort than it seems to for others.

Common experiences of highly sensitive people that are rarely discussed openly.

The difference between feeling "wrong" and understanding your unique wiring.

How sensory sensitivities, environmental awareness, and emotional boundaries affect daily life.

Key Takeaways:

• If you're highly sensitive, doing life can feel hard and effortful—and that doesn't mean you're "wrong."
• You can learn to honor your wiring and it won't always feel so difficult.
• HSPs need non-negotiable rest, soothing strategies, and permission to "shut off" sometimes.
• Even decades into this work, old judgments can resurface—and that's okay, we're all just practicing.

Additional resources:

Blog post/numinous experiences: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/my-experience-as-an-hsp/

Updated HSP self-assessment: https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

Autumn Self-Care Guide for Midlife Women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/autumn-guide/

In this episode, you'll discover:

• If you're a highly sensitive person, you may notice that grief and melancholy arise in autumn—even when you haven't experienced an obvious loss. Here's why this happens and what it means
• How you can listen to your difficult emotions as wise messengers rather than problems you need to fix or push away
• Why autumn invites you to strip away, let go, and engage in truth-telling about what no longer serves you
• The reason holding onto old identities and patterns keeps you stuck—and how you can recognize when it's time to release them
• How you can navigate the vulnerable "in-between space" when you've let go of what was but haven't fully stepped into what's next
• If you love rhythm and routine but also have a rebel streak, here's how you can honor both by building intentional breaks into your life
• How you can use this seasonal transition as an opportunity for meaningful self-care and inner exploration

Resources Mentioned:

Free autumn resource with reflection prompts and self-care exercises: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/autumn-guide/

Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies quiz: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/

Podcast episode about grief/Samhain: listen on apple podcasts

Three Key Aspects of Reclaiming Agency:

1. Build Skills and Expand Capacity - Stay open to ongoing learning, discovery, and education. Surround yourself with people doing brave inner work. Acquire new ideas and practices that help you grow beyond your current bubble. Build nervous system regulation skills and healthy patterns.
2. Live on Purpose - Develop strong self-knowledge and self-trust so you can walk out your values and vision. Use your strengths and gifts meaningfully in the world. Become awake to your impact - what you pour into yourself spills over into the world around you.
3. Practice Hope in Action - Take radical ownership of your life without handing your power of choice to others. Hope isn't just a feeling - it's a way of thinking and being that requires action. You have multiple pathways forward; step into the light you have rather than waiting to see the whole path.

Agency is intimately connected to your nervous system capacity. When you're regulated and resourced, you have greater access to choice and can pause between impulse and response. Reclaiming your agency shifts you from surviving to thriving, from autopilot to living on purpose.

• Learn about my cycle of self-awareness + self-compassion + imperfect action = agency in episode 62.
• Learn more about self-awareness in episode 63.
• Learn more about self-compassion in episode 64.
• Learn more about imperfect action in episode 65

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community this Autumn - doors are open! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

Get the resource to help you practice Imperfect Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-practice-imperfect-action/

Practice Hope-In-Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/what-is-hope-and-why-i-practice-hope-in-action/

Three Key Principles of Imperfect Action:

1. Small Steps Create Big Change - One tiny seed planted and watered consistently can bear beautiful fruit over time. Lower the bar and celebrate small wins. Practice "more than zero" when life gets messy. Plan for life's messiness by creating simple, portable versions of your goals.
2. We Find Our Way in Action, Not Before - Movement and vulnerability are required for transformation. You don't need to see the whole path ahead - just take the next step. Show up afraid, messy, and vulnerable. Don't hold too tightly to precise outcomes; you control your choices, not results.
3. A Kinder Way of Being - Honor your wiring and capacity instead of trying to fit an ill-fitting mold. Learn to stretch (not stress) and work with your natural rhythms. Move at a sustainable pace that supports healthy aging and seasonal living.

A commitment to imperfect action teaches you to be proud of continuing to show up in ways that are truly life-giving, creating space for presence, delight, and joy amid the messiness of life.

• Learn about my cycle of self-awareness + self-compassion + imperfect action = agency in episode 62.
• Learn more about self-awareness in episode 63.
• Learn more about self-compassion in episode 64.
• Learn more about imperfect action in episode 65
• Learn more about reclaiming your agency in episode 66

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community this Autumn - doors are open! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

If you join by September 19th (for a year) you will also get the Life Visioning Course for free! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/guided-life-visioning-process/

Get the resource to help you practice Imperfect Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-practice-imperfect-action/

The Three Components of Self-Compassion:

1. Mindfulness - Not everything needs to be fixed; most things just need to be witnessed. You can hold multiple emotions at once (grief AND joy). Learn to acknowledge difficult feelings without letting them hijack your entire day.
2. Self-Kindness - Shame, judgment, and bullying yourself will never lead to positive change. Only when compassion and curiosity are present can people truly change. Treat yourself like someone you love.
3. Common Humanity - You are not bad, wrong, or broken - you're simply human in a messy world. Everyone has struggles and growth opportunities. When you love yourself in your messiness, it becomes easier to witness others' full humanity.

Self-compassion creates the safety needed for growth and change. It's about creating internal conditions where transformation becomes possible, not lowering standards or avoiding accountability.

• Learn about my cycle of self-awareness + self-compassion + imperfect action = agency in episode 62.
• Learn more about self-awareness in episode 63.
• Learn more about self-compassion in episode 64.
• Learn more about imperfect action in episode 65
• Learn more about reclaiming your agency in episode 66

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community this Autumn - doors are open! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

If you join by September 19th (for a year) you will also get the Life Visioning Course for free! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/guided-life-visioning-process/

Three Ways Self-Awareness Serves You:

1. Building a friendship with yourself - Getting to know your personality, identity, and authentic self beyond conditioning
2. Awakening to current patterns - Recognizing unconscious behaviors, triggers, and capacity limits
3. Identifying and pursuing true desires - Moving past surface wants to discover what you genuinely need

Self-awareness isn't about fixing yourself - it's about building a compassionate relationship with who you are while creating space for growth and change. Remember: you're not in competition with anyone, and life isn't a race.

• Learn about my cycle of self-awareness + self-compassion + imperfect action = agency in episode 62.
• Learn more about self-awareness in episode 63.
• Learn more about self-compassion in episode 64.
• Learn more about imperfect action in episode 65
• Learn more about reclaiming your agency in episode 66

The Life Visioning Course: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/guided-life-visioning-process/

The Feel More Empowered Workshop $7: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/feel-more-empowered/

The Hope Map Assessment: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/take-the-hope-map-assessment/

1. Outer, seasonal living layer

2. Yellow macro view of core concepts. To go one layer deeper, take the Hope Map Assessment: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/take-the-hope-map-assessment/

3. Inner Cycle of Self-Awareness + Self-Compassion + Imperfect Action = Reclaim Your Agency

Then (at 17:20) I walk you through the inner cycle and explain how to begin applying it to your life starting today.

The next four episodes will take you deeper into the "Inner Cycle." You'll learn more about HOW to practice each step as well as what supports the practice and what hinders it.

• Learn more about self-awareness in episode 63.
• Learn more about self-compassion in episode 64.
• Learn more about imperfect action in episode 65
• Learn more about reclaiming your agency in episode 66



The Life Visioning Course (save $100): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/guided-life-visioning-process/

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community waitlist: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

In this final episode of year two, I'm getting vulnerable about my own journey with receiving. From childhood patterns of never asking for anything to recent struggles with buying myself cute hand towels without guilt, I share the messy reality of learning to receive goodness.

During my recent summer visioning time, I heard this piece of intuitive wisdom: "Krista, you can't lead where you're not willing to go yourself." This got me reflecting on where I still have blocks to receiving - whether it's compliments, help, pleasure, or even allowing myself to want things.

I explore why receiving feels so challenging for many of us, the connection between receiving and true compassion, and why reciprocity matters. Real compassion is bidirectional - it ebbs and flows. What we pour in is what we leak out.

I share practical ideas like keeping a "receive list" and the importance of examining our beliefs about worthiness. Are you allowed to want? Are you allowed to need?

Thank you for being here. I look forward to starting year three with you!

Let's Connect:

FB: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/

NEW / FREE: (Mostly) monthly Hope Map Conversations to help you live joyfully in a messy world: Hope Map Conversations: Live Joyfully in a Messy world | A Life In Progress

Writer and social media consultant Whitney Fleming opens up about launching three daughters into the world, navigating perimenopause, and finding herself again after feeling like "a shadow of herself" for years.

We talk about...

• The emotional "push and pull" of watching kids become independent
• Reframing "empty nest" as kids "sitting on the branch"
• The importance of finding healthcare providers who actually listen
• Why women must advocate fiercely for proper testing and care
• Protecting time for internal processing and mental clarity
• The importance of letting kids fail and learn natural consequences
• Modeling self-care and personal growth for your children

Connect with Whitney

• parentingteensandtweens.com
• https://www.facebook.com/whitneyflemingwrites

Connect with Krista

• https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/monday-morning-hope-map/
• https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/work-with-me/

I'm resharing this episode because the question "how will I know that I have lived well" is one of the key questions I ask myself (in the WHY section) of my Life Visioning Process.

Join me for my Life Visioning Course: The Life Visioning Course: Handcraft A Soul-Honouring Life | A Life In Progress

Living an examined life - one in which I ask myself interesting and sometimes challenging, brave questions and then take action, or practice hope-in-action, toward a life and world I truly want to live in - is one of my commitments to myself. It is also something I guide other women in, inside my Brave + Beautiful Community.

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community (summer session begins on July 14th): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

In this episode I talk about walking out our Core Values. Two ways I can help you identify and learn to live your values "on purpose":

The Core Values Workshop (included in the Life Visioning Course): Core values Workshop

The Life Visioning Course: The Life Visioning Course: Handcraft A Soul-Honouring Life | A Life In Progress

---

More than ever we need to take radical responsibility for our lives. For who and how we choose to be in the world, for the world we help create, for how we care for our mind-emotion-body health, and so on. May you have the courage to live a life that is true to yourself.

I've supported thousands of women in this work. Join me inside the Brave + Beautiful Community: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress.

Book a free chat with Krista: https://calendly.com/alifeinprogress/25min

Or for (mostly) weekly encouragement, sign up for my Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

Then, I talk about self-identity and how, if we are growth-minded and say yes to the fullness of life, our identify can and will shift as we move through different seasons of life.

I invite you to think about your vision/dream/longing and to recognize that there are many pathways toward your dream. You don't have to follow the status quo, do life according to anyone else's expectations, or even follow the path that used to work for you in a previous season.

And I share 6 prompts to help you listen inward and do some truth-telling about the life you want and the world you want to live in.

A practice of imperfect action (with consistency) is a skill you can learn and that can change your life. Small steps lead to powerful results (free resource): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-practice-imperfect-action/

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community (pay in full or choose one of the payment plan options): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/

At the end of your days, how will you know that you’ve lived well? Take a look at the Life Visioning Course (price goes up July 1st): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/guided-life-visioning-process/

Sophie shares a bit about her journey to becoming a mum after years of fertility treatments and postpartum emotional turbulence. She talks about a shift in identity in her early 40s, her personal decolonisation process, and the profound wisdom she has gained from cyclical living.

Our discussion emphasizes the significance of honest storytelling and the importance of creating safe spaces for women to share their truths. Furthermore, we explore how these narratives can foster connection and resilience in the face of societal pressures and personal struggles.

This felt like having a coffee date with Sophie and I hope you enjoy the conversation as much as I did.

Connect with Sophie on IG: sophie.jane.hardy

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Summer Session: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

The Life Visioning Course (free for B+B members who join for a full year): The Life Visioning Course (reg $790): $490 | A Life In Progress

Book a free Zoom chat with Krista to decide if the B+B Community is a great fit for you in this season: Calendly

I talk about why we need to do the inner and outer work at the same time. The inner work might include things like getting to know your True self, learning a practice of self-compassion, building skills to support naming and honouring your boundaries, and so on.

The outer work is what I offer in my Life Visioning Course. It creates the gentle structure or scaffolding of your life that supports your inner work. Or that supports you in being your True Self and thriving, flourishing, or showing up fully to life in each new season.

So many people assume they are "wrong" somehow if they try to change their old patterns but struggle to maintain the healthier changes. The reality though is that very often they are attempting to create positive change WITHOUT the supporting structures. And this sets them up for discouragement and giving up.

My work offers you the inner and outer work of learning to truly love and value yourself alongside the systems, rhythms, practices and habits that create the scaffolding of a sustainable and soul-honouring life.

The Life Visioning Process - take the course*: The Life Visioning Course (reg $790): $490 June Only | A Life In Progress

*for a limited time, you can get teh course FREE when you join the B+B Community for a full year!

The Life Visioning Process - work 1:1 with me: Reimagine Your Life: Book A Life Visioning Intensive $3490 | A Life In Progress

The Brave + Beautiful Community: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Coaching for midlife women ready to reclaim freedom, wholeness, and joy: Coaching for Midlife Women Seeking Freedom, Wholeness, and joy

Sign up for the Monday morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

While this may sound simple and obvious, it's brave and hard work. Risky work. In order to grow forward, we must be willing to let go of old versions of Self, old identities, old stories, old patterns that no longer serve us.

This conversation married nicely with the current work inside my membership community. So today I also want to share a short clip from a Brave + Beautiful Community Call.

How to Practice Imperfect Action (free resource): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-practice-imperfect-action/

When Should I Quit: How to Live a Conscious Life: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/should-i-quit/

Early registration for the Brave + Beautiful Community Summer Session opens up on Monday, June 2. Join us here (or book a free chat to make sure it's a great fit for you in this season): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

The post from 2016: You Deserve Love, Life, and Kindness Exactly As You Are | A Life In Progress

Connect with Krista on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/

Connect with Krista on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/

And if you're moving away from social media, be sure to join my email community: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

You're imperfect. Life is messy. Show up anyway.

In this episode I share 12 ideas or quotes that will help you practice hope-in-action or imperfect action and show up fully to life - even though it's messy and imperfect.

Takeaways:

• Embracing our imperfections allows us to fully participate in the messiness of life, which is essential for personal growth and connection.
• Life inevitably presents us with challenges that often feel overwhelming, yet we must confront these imperfections and continue to show up with intention and courage.
• The journey of life is characterized by continual action and adaptation, rather than waiting for a perfect path to be revealed before making a move.
• Recognizing that our small contributions can effect change in our immediate environment empowers us to act despite feelings of inadequacy or overwhelm.

Connect with Krista on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/

Connect with Krista on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/

And if you're moving away from social media, be sure to join my email community: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

Though I ended up editing this out (for time) I shared with Asha how much I've used and benefitted from her Sacred Medicine Cards - I use them at every new and full moon as a tool as I listen inward for wisdom and direction.

Connect with Asha: https://ashafrost.com/

We talk about seasons of growing into our ourselves or "coming home to ourselves" and Asha shares a bit about her current season of life (which includes perimenopause and no more capacity for people-pleasing!). We talk about running soul-honouring businesses as highly sensitive humans living with chronic illness.

And Asha shares a bit about what purpose means to her and how this ties to being a visible Indigenous Woman when so many Indigenous People historically did not have a voice and many still do not today.

RESOURCES

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community for midlife women this spring: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

True Rest Through The Seasons (for midlife women who NEED to learn to rest!): True Rest Through The Seasons: Free Resource | A Life In Progress

Connect with Krista on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/

Connect with Krista on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/

And if you're moving away from social media, be sure to join my email community: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

In this episode I offer 5 ideas that you can explore this spring - I'm practicing with you.

RESOURCES

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community for midlife women this spring: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Connect with Krista on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/

Connect with Krista on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/

And if you're moving away from social media, be sure to join my email community: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

*My "likes" and "ums" were in full force in this episode - I needed to slow my thinking and speech. Hopefully it won't distract you from the wealth of information in this episode.

This episode talks about why attending to our pelvic floor health is important to our resilience as women and to living big, full, amazing lives. We discuss common pelvic floor issues among midlife women including prolapse, vaginal drying/thinning, bladder leaks, and more.

There is a lot we can do in terms of preventive care but the reality is that many of us in midlife and beyond did not receive the health education we needed to prevent or attend to some of our symptoms more quickly.

It's never too late though. Whatever season of life we are in, we can take action to feel more empowered in our bodies and lives.

Share this episode with your daughters, sisters, friends, and mom. Having brave conversations about our health improves quality of life for those we care about. And bringing some humor into the mix doesn't hurt;)

RESOURCES

Connect with Kim:

https://www.instagram.com/vaginacoach/

https://www.vaginacoach.com/podcast

My sister also recommends: https://www.instagram.com/vaginarehabdoctor

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community for midlife women this spring: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

More about key components of resilience and resources to support your growth : Expand Your Capacity + Grow Your Resilience | A Life In Progress

Connect with Krista on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/

Connect with Krista on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/

And if you're moving away from social media, be sure to join my email community: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

Get the free True Rest resource that I refer to: True Rest Through The Seasons: Free Resource | A Life In Progress

I have coaching spaces opening up. Learn more: Coaching for Midlife Women Seeking Freedom, Wholeness, and joy

Not everything – not every core dream – is for today or this season. Not every task on the weekly to-do list must be checked off Monday morning (something I actually had to learn!). We are not in a race. Western culture gives us a sense of always being behind or in competition with each other.

There is incredible rest, peace, and joy in pulling our hearts and minds back to this day and the work of this season.

Three Core Dreams For My Soul-Honouring Life | A Life In Progress

In the True Rest Resource, I’ve provided a description of some common challenges and invitations of each season of midlife (autumn or your 40s, winter or late perimenopause through the menopause transition, second spring or your 50s, and summer or your 60s into your early 70s).

Then I provide one page per season of examples of the different types of rest you most need in that season. You might want to play with different types of rest as you move through the seasons of each year as well as through the seasons of your life.

Get the free True Rest Resource: True Rest Through The Seasons: Free Resource | A Life In Progress

It also supports your resilience and helps you practice hope-in-action.

I'd love to hear what comes up for you. You can reach out at krista@alifeinprogress.ca.

Three Core Dreams For My Soul-Honouring Life | A Life In Progress

What Is Hope? And How To Practice Hope-In-Action | A Life In Progress

How To Handcraft A Soul-Honouring life Step-By-Step | A Life In Progress

Read to work together? Coaching for Midlife Women Seeking Freedom, Wholeness, and joy

None of us are immune to struggle or challenging seasons of life. 2024 was one of the hardest years ever for my guest and her family.

Heidi shares some of the simple things that keep her feeling anchored, and what brings her joy or lights her up. We talk about how she is makes space for her creative work amid the messiness of life. And Heidi shares a couple of her poems with us.

What are some tiny, intentional practices that feel life-giving to YOU in this season?

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One of the biggest issues I see when people set goals or have a dream but struggle to bring it to fruition is that they don’t have the basic scaffolding in place to support them in their day to day. They may know WHAT they want and even WHY they want it (though this is less common).

But they struggle with HOW to translate a dream or goal into practical action.

On Feb 19 I'm offering a workshop to help you craft a soul-honouring weekly rhythm. This week only $17 (increases each week).

Connect with me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/

Connect with me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/

Or come on over to my website to do some reading/exploring: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/

12 Tiny Things: Simple Ways to Live a More Intentional Life by Heidi Barr and Ellie Roscher

In this episode I share with you 5 habits that helped me live rooted and resilient through crisis and personal challenge - but that also help me in the day-to-day of being human in a messy world.

Identify how you want to FEEL in your body and life: How Do You Want To FEEL In Your Body And Life?

Identify your core values: How To Figure Out Your Core Values |

The Goal Setting Workshop: Goal Setting Workshop | A Life In Progress

Live On Purpose Workshop: Live On Purpose Workshop: Free Until Jan 18/25 | A Life In Progress

Sign up for the Monday morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

In this episode I share 3 characteristics of wise and brave 'beginners' - or qualities that help us show up with strength when life is challenging.

I also offer the reminder that a healthy (flexible, adaptable, resilient) nervous system is forged through some stress, stretching, and even harder life experiences.

The Four Tendencies quiz: The Four Tendencies Quiz | Gretchen Rubin

What is hope-in-action: What Is Hope? And How To Practice Hope-In-Action | A Life In Progress

Sign up for my Monday morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

Today I chat with guest Amy J Brown. We talk, among other things, about parenting kids with "extra needs" (or invisible disabilities) and how common it is to feel shame and judgment (external and internal) when parenting is challenging. We also talk about honouring our boundaries and using our gifts in the "empty nest season." And we discuss perfectionism and being Enneagram Type Ones and how we learned quite different coping mechanisms as young kids.

I met Amy when she hired me as a coach. We worked together 1:1 for 18 months and then she spent a year inside my Brave + Beautiful Community. She shares a bit about what she learned or life-giving benefits from our work together. Learn how we can work together: Work With Me | A Life In Progress

Amy J. Brown is a writer, mentor, and co-host of the podcast Take Heart. She is the author of the book “The Other Side Of Special: Navigating the Messy, Emotional, and Joy-Filled Life of a Special Needs Mom.” Amy has a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and Leadership. She shares honestly about adoption and parenting children with mental health issues and trauma. She is the mother of six children. She lives with her husband in Michigan. You can find more about Amy at her website, www.amyjbrown.com.

Tomorrow is the final day to get the New year Goal Setting Workshop free as part of your membership in the Brave + Beautiful Community: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Winter Mindfulness Journal: https://amzn.to/3DcDlgj

Seasonal Transition Call: The Seasonal Transition Call: Step Into Winter A Life In Progress

Join winter session of the Brave + Beautiful Community: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Join by Dec 20th and you'll get this workshop free: New Year Goal Setting Workshop | A Life In Progress

New Year Goal Setting Workshop (half price for 2 more days!): New Year Goal Setting Workshop | A Life In Progress

Shift out of all or nothing mindset: Just Choose All or Something | A Life In Progress

Seasonal Transition Call: Join The winter Solstice Call: Dec 11

Join me on January 3/25 to for a New-Year Goal Setting Workshop. Come set your values-aligned life and business goals and start mapping them out for the first quarter.

This workshop is free for all returning and new Brave + Beautiful Community members who join before December 20th.

Or you can buy the new year goal setting workshop for just $97 the week of Nov 25-29! 🌟

This way of being not only leads to burnout, illness, increased risk of suicidality, emotional and spiritual dissatisfaction, and constant self-judgment. But it blames the individual for not measuring up and keeping up.

As such, it leaves many of us feeling never good enough or fundamentally bad, wrong, or broken if we’re unable to sustain this unrealistic and unhealthy standard.

In this episode I talk about the importance of diversity and flexibility to individual and Communal resilience. And I share 13 ideas to help you practice honouring your wiring and capacity in this season.

LINKS/RESOURCES

Last day to sign up is Friday, Nov 15: Join The Quiet The Noise Challenge: Nov 18-22 | A Life In Progress

Be proud of yourself: 3 Important Questions To Add To Your Evening Routine | A Life In Progress

The 13 ideas: Why You Need To Honour Your Wiring And Capacity | A Life In Progress

No Bad Parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model , Richard Schwartz: https://amzn.to/4hLx5vy

Why the World Doesn't End: tales of renewal in times of loss, Michael Meade: https://amzn.to/4hKbGmz

If I lived full time in grief or pain, or in the grappling process, this would hold me back from living fully and thriving forward. But resistance itself is not wrong or bad. It’s part of the grief process. The letting go process. Coming to terms with things really and truly. Not just shoving down our feelings or pain and pretending all is well.

If you’re in a season of needing to let go of the life you wanted to embrace the one you have, I share 5 truths to help you honour your process, move at a soul-honouring pace, and offer yourself compassion each step of the way.

Read the blog post: Let Go Of The Life You Wanted And Embrace The One You Have

Sign up for the free Quiet the Noise Challenge: Join The Quiet The Noise Challenge: Nov 18-22 | A Life In Progress

I’m happy today to welcome two guests to join me for a conversation around Letting go of the life you wanted and embracing the one you have.” We talk about addiction, grief, perimenopause/autumn seasons, and more.

Dr. Mikala Albertson is a board-certified family practice doctor, author, and well-being advocate who is passionate about women’s health and healing in the imperfect bodies we actually have. She’s the author of the books Ordinary on Purpose and her new release Everything I Wish I Could Tell You About Midlife. Mikala inspires readers every day to stop striving for “perfect” lives or some unattainable cultural ideal of “beauty and wellness” and instead aim for wholehearted living through a gentle, achievable, sustainable approach.

Connect with Mikala: https://www.mikalaalbertsonmd.com/

Jennifer Arnspiger is a Certified Somatic Trauma Integration Coach, INFJ Empath and Somatic Writing Coach for deeply sensitive women. She is highly sensitive, emotionally intense and passionate about honoring what our bodies have been through and the stories and emotions they hold. Jennifer has been a trauma-informed writing coach for 7 years and helps deeply sensitive womxn resolve somatic trauma and come home to their bodies through writing - with private coaching, self-paced writing courses and intimate writing circles.

Connect with Jennifer: https://www.jenniferarnspiger.com

Come connect with me over at https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/ or on Instagram.

We talk about my Hope Map Graphic and the seasons we're in. You can find my graphic on my home page: Befriend Your True Self and (Re)Claim Freedom, Wholeness + JOY (alifeinprogress.ca)

In today's conversation, I'm joined by two guests: Anno Bell and Chantal Gauthier-Vaillancourt. We talk about the messiness of middle age and how our thinking has shifted or how we've grown and healed so far in midlife. And we chat about joyful aging (and Chantal bravely shares about her current experience).

Anno Bell is an exuberant lover of all things wild, and a sensitive soul that creates beautiful things out of scraps of glass, vintage trailers and old pieces of fence board. She is mama to four humans and works as a both a birth and postpartum doula and a breath facilitator. She hopes through her work and play in the world to bring folks a deep sense of being seen and heard, and a safe space where they can be compassionately witnessed and supported in their journeys. Anno turned 50 in March of this year and is so far equally enthralled and challenged by this season. Her new website is in development but you can connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cedartreecoaching

With two decades of dedicated service in the holistic health field, Chantal Gauthier-Vaillancourt worked 8 years as massage therapist, nearly 6 as a certified doula, and then 12 years as a Registered Midwife. She has attended over 500 births, witnessing the beautiful miracle of new life with its strength and fragility firsthand. Being a primary care provider has granted her the privilege of accompanying women during this vulnerable and transformative time in their lives. Chantal has recently released a podcast and a new website in order to offer an online program she is co-created for expectant families called A Peaceful Gestation with the hopes of reaching more people who may not have the Prenatal care they want or need. On a personal level, she has grown and learned major life lessons while thriving through cancer twice. She is a devoted wife and a mother to two sweet children who (mostly) bring her joy. Connect with her here: https://apeacefulgestation.com

RESOURCES

The Brave + Beautiful Community: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

How I honestly used to think and what changed for the better: How I Honestly Used To Think And What Changed For The Better | A Life In Progress

I care about Joyful living in every season – even the hardest of them. Choosing to allow joy into our lives amid heartache, struggle, uncertainty, and general life messiness is hard and brave work. I’ve done my share of hard and brave work. This is, of course, why I focus so much on the practice of making peace with messiness to make space for joy in our body and life. I emphasize the practice part. It’s an ongoing commitment and some days are way harder than others.

In this episode I discuss:

• What Rebranding Middle Age Means
• How I define middle age
• What I mean when I talk about joy
• Joyful aging is simply part of joyful living in every season
• I believe joyful aging begins in our 40s, 50s, and 60s
• 2 key things that support joyful aging and joyful living and these are things that we an work on or have a measure of control around
• Letting go of attachment to the past or to our old dreams is essential if we want to thrive forward or live joyfully

Resources:

• Why You Need to Rebrand Middle Age to Live Joyfully: Why You Need To Rebrand Middle Age To Live Joyfully | A Life In Progress
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Autumn Session: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress
• Sign up for the Monday morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress
• Book by Dr. Gladys McGarey: The Well-Lived Life: A 103-Year-Old Doctor’s Six Secrets to Health and Happiness at Every Age.
• You'll find my Hope Map Graphic on this page: Befriend Your True Self and (Re)Claim Freedom, Wholeness + JOY (alifeinprogress.ca)
• "There's some evidence to suggest that specialized cognitive behavioral therapy can improve a sense of purpose in life, as well as meaning in life" (I didn't look for studies): Will a purpose-driven life help you live longer? - Harvard Health

Furthermore, I’d love us to release the idea that creativity is only about problem solving or attaining a precise end-goal (attachment to outcome). I see living creatively – or handcrafting a brave and beautiful life – as a process. A choice to honour the beauty and wisdom of every season. A process of learning to trust ourselves and become our most honest and healed/integrated selves. A journey that is above all about experiencing the world and life more than about producing or consuming.

In this episode I share:

• A four stage process of creative breakthroughs and moments of insight.
• An example of how this operates in my life and why this was soooo affirming for me.
• Who might have a harder time trusting this process.
• How focusing on process over product or attachment to specific outcome lowers anxiety, increases joy, and helps us develop self-trust.
• Life visioning and taking the longer view - and thinking of our whole lives as a creative process.
• And I refer to 12 lies that keep us from a creative life.

In the episode blog post I link to a scientifically validated assessment that measures four types of skills that help people express their creativity - and share more nerdy science. :)

Thanks for being here with me - enjoy your summer!

krista xo

1. We speak about menopause, suicidal thoughts, and also how it can be hard in times of darkness to reach out for support.
2. Empty nest can feel really hard and can include a lot of sadness or grief.
3. Shifting from the story “I am flawed” to self-compassion and greater self-love.
4. Many of us seek deeper connection but have a rejection wound. Yet deep connection requires being ourselves rather than masking.
5. Walk toward what lights you up. Having a life vision can help us move toward what brings us joy.
6. We need to learn to hear our inner voice and develop self-trust. Many of us get earnest about this in our 40s or autumn season of life.
7. We talk about Julie's new guide "understanding autism in sensitive women." Get the autism guide here.

Julie Bjelland is an LMFT, a Licensed Psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment, specializing in high sensitivity and adult-diagnosed autism in women. Her passion is helping create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com.

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Connect with Krista on IG

Connect on FB: A Life in Progress and/or Rebranding Middle Age

Today's guests, Kathy Escobar and Phyllis Mathis, have been soul friends for almost two decades and are the hosts of the Soul + Practice podcast dedicated to raw conversations and real practices. Their work is centered on healthier human-ing and making it in this weird world. Phyllis did this as a therapist for many years and now is a life coach and author of The Subversive Soul: The Gentle Revolution Everyone Needs. And Kathy is a non-profit leader and community cultivator and author of several books, including Practicing: Changing Yourself to Change the World. More at kathyescobar.com and phyllismathis.com.

In our conversation we talk about play - how play is about motivation more than behaviour - and what that looks like for each of us as an Enneagram 2 (Kathy), 9 (Phyllis), and 1 (me). I invited each of them to take a short quiz to discover their "play personality"' which is based on the work of Dr. Stuart Brown. You can take the quiz here: Understanding your Play Style - LindsayBraman.com.

We also talk about what it means to each of us to "live on purpose" midlife and beyond. In the summer session of the Brave + Beautiful Community, members will be invited to explore their own sense of purpose, how to thrive and feel alive, and we'll do some dreaming/visioning for our lives. Learn more here: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Sign up for the Monday Morning Hope Map:

Connect with Krista on IG

Connect on FB: A Life in Progress and/or Rebranding Middle Age

Grieving the Loss of a Parent: Episode 191: Grieving the Loss of A Parent with Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui — Julie Bjelland

Thriving Through and Beyond Grief as an HSP: Episode 180: Thriving Through and Beyond Grief as a Highly Sensitive Person — Julie Bjelland

See you next week,

Krista xo

• What are the simple everyday gifts of your life in this season? Savor them.
• What is your current growth edge? Look for one way each day or week to move forward in this area.
• What are you curious about right now? What stretches and excites you? Give yourself permission to follow your train of curiosity without holding tightly to outcome.
• What dreams or ideas are arising even if they feel impossible in the moment? Can you give yourself permission to name them or own them without judgment or needing to know how to bring them to life?

Letting go so we continue to grow requires a willingness to let go of what used to be to make space for what’s next. This includes letting go of the beauty of a past season and unfulfilled dreams or expectations. And in many cases it involves releasing unforgiveness or pain so that we are free to keep living fully and thriving in every season.

Furthermore, this process requires giving ourselves permission to quit, pivot, change course, and change our mind. And it usually involves a lot of truth-telling about the current state of our health, relationships, how we’re valuing ourselves, and more.

Sign up for the Reignite Your Creativity Workshop: Dream, Expand, Express Yourself: Reignite Your Creativity Workshop (alifeinprogress.ca)

Connect on Instagram: Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui | Joyful Living Educator (@a_life_in_progress) • Instagram photos and videos

Seasonal Mindfulness Journals: 52 Mondays: Seasonal Mindfulness Journals | A Life In Progress

Betsy is autistic and lives with FND (Functional Neurological Disorder). Part of her experience is that she can struggle with sensory regulation. When her nervous system is overloaded she may experience facial tremors, a stammer, and/or tics.

One of my key takeaways from our conversation is how she's shifting her focus away from trying to find a 'fix' for her condition and instead learning how to find safety in her body/nervous system exactly as she is.

Betsy shares a story that she has needed to rewrite for herself. She shares openly about how difficult it can be as a neurodivergent human to own her value in a culture that celebrates constant productivity and performance. We also talk about how she expresses her creativity in this season of her life.

Connect with Betsy on Instagram: Betsy Huggins (@betsy.huggins) • Instagram photos and videos

Betsy on Substack: Tiny Giant | Betsy Huggins | Substack

Krista on Instagram: Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui | Joyful Living Educator (@a_life_in_progress) • Instagram photos and videos

Sign up for the Reignite Your Creativity Workshop: Dream, Expand, Express Yourself: Reignite Your Creativity Workshop (alifeinprogress.ca)

I'm delighted to welcome my first guest to the podcast! Kate Codrington is a mentor, author, speaker, facilitator, artist and podcaster.  She's the author of Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause, and her second book, The Perimenopause Journal, will be out September 2024 (Find her full bio here.)

Kate and I had a conversation about this season's theme "Old stories. New possibilities."

• Kate shares about the season she’s in as, at 58 yo, she moves closer to Second Summer. She shares what this feels like in her body, life, and work of this season. We also talk about staying in discomfort and how the work of this season prepares us for what’s next.
• She shares her observation that in the wellness industry or those of us working online often feel pressure to project an idealized version of life and self.
• She shares about her current growth edge which is having courage to trust in the liminal spaces. And also allowing her insides (or her full inner truth/Self) a more honest expression in conversation and community.
• and more!

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Kate's Free resource library: https://mailchi.mp/a8a0fa08678a/resource-library   
• Kate's Website: https://www.katecodrington.co.uk/ 
• Kate on IG: https://www.instagram.com/kate_codrington/ 
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

We all have stories playing out in our life, many unconscious, others that we are aware of yet believe or receive without examination. Most are rooted in conditioning of culture, religion, family of origin – or they may go further back.

If we want to walk in freedom, wholeness, and joy, we must do the work to open up to a new hopeful and joyful possibility. We need to question or examine the stories we believe about life, Self, our value, what we require for happiness, etc. We need to wake up to our all or nothing thinking, the ways we set limits on ourselves, or how we constantly raise the bar and then judge ourselves as less than.

When we’ve been living out a story for decades (ex. I’m not good enough) it can feel impossible to change things up. But often all we need to do is to crack ourselves open even a tiny bit to a new hopeful or joyful possibility. We can always write a new story for our life.

This season of the Rebranding Middle Age Podcast will focus on the theme of “Old stories. New possibilities.”

In this introductory episode I invite you to show up curious as you listen in and engage with the ideas offered over the next few months and notice what shows up for you. Maybe this is the season to unravel your story of “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t trust anyone.” Or perhaps your story sounds more like “I don’t have what it takes” or “I’m fundamentally flawed – bad, wrong, and broken.” (see episode page for more info)

Let's Connect! Contact Krista | A Life In Progress

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

I share about the cycle of self-awareness, self-compassion, and imperfect action that anchors my work and life. And I share about the "Shift Your Experience" model/exercise that you can use when an old unhelpful story rises to the surface asking to be heard.

As always, I'm practicing with you and I share a few recent (honest and vulnerable) examples from my life where old stories that have been at play in my life/behaviour/relationships came to the surface. Because I waws able to 'see' them, I was then able to begin writing new stories that will help me thrive forward.

If you'd love some modeling and support learning to walk in greater freedom, come join the Brave + Beautiful Community! Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Or learn how we can work together privately: Coaching for Midlife Women who Choose A Brave and Joyful Life (alifeinprogress.ca)

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

This week, I've been listening inward and asking myself:

What does Freedom look, sound, and feel like for ME in this current season of my life? How am I practicing freedom? How am I walking it out in concrete ways? Where am I not in freedom? What precisely is interfering? Where am I holding onto old stories, habits, feelings that pull me out of freedom throughout the day?

I heard a quote this morning that aligned with where my mind and heart have been. “Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free.” -Peter Crone

In this episode, in addition to talking about ways I'm seeking more freedom in a few specific relationships, I also share other ways that I'm practicing greater freedom in this season of my life - in finances, in my mind-body health, in my healing work, and more.

In addition, I share briefly about 3 different conflict styles or "social stances." Understanding our dominant stance, and recognizing that of others we're in relationship with, can be a huge help when it comes to practicing healthier, embodied conflict.

Links/Resources

• As of today there are 9 spaces left in the Spring Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community!: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

I began my seasonal living journey with menstrual cycle tracking in my early to mid-30s - and pretty quickly this changed my experience of life. I no longer felt buffeted about by hormonal shifts, changing moods, ebb and flow of energy. I began to understand what was happening in my body and the connection with my emotional state. It was here that my self-awareness soared and then I was able to become more proactive - I could plan accordingly.

Over the years my practice deepened and today I practice different layers of Seasonal Living. But today, we'll talk about using each seasonal shift throughout the year to look up (reorient and recalibrate), look in (slow downward to listen inward), and look around (make practical shifts or updates to our life) to support our overall wellbeing.

Links/Resources

• Guided life visioning process: A Guided Life Visioning Process | A Life In Progress
• Purposeful Printable Pack: Enjoy The Purposeful Printable Pack | A Life In Progress
• 52 Mondays Seasonal Mindfulness Journals: 52 Mondays: Seasonal Mindfulness Journals | A Life In Progress
• What's a Spring Season? What Is An Inner Spring Season? (How To Thrive In Spring Seasons) (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community spring session: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

SHOW NOTES

Part of the conversation about embracing our limitations is really a conversation about what determines our worth. What are your markers of success or value? I do not believe our value and worth are tied up in self-improvement (or performing or jumping through hoops). When we stop railing against the reality of life, and we make peace with the full truth of who and how we are, beautiful things begin to grow.

I also talk about the story that bigger is better and that many people believe a 'small life' is bad or less-than. 'Small' or 'big' aside, what I care about is if our life is values-aligned. If we're building a soul-honouring and sustainable life. A right-sized life.

One way to deepen self-trust and have your own back is by honoring or embracing your limitations. When we befriend our whole selves we are more able to recognize where we have leaky boundaries, we are intentional about who and what gets our limited resources, we fill up and pour out from a healthy place, we learn to truly value ourselves, We live with more impact and joy.

But the conversation doesn't stop here. When I talk about embracing our limitations, I also encourage us to embrace our strengths and gifts. We are both strength and struggle, tangled up together. This too is part of the work of quieting the noise and befriending ourselves - the fullness of who and how we are.

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress.
• Learn how to work 1:1 with Krista - learn more here.
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community: People on the waitlist get first option to join starting March 4th then early registration will open up and run March 11-22.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

SHOW NOTES

Healthy and brave relationships and community are so important to our health and wellbeing. But because they take work and we may at times feel like we're doing things so imperfectly or ungracefully, it can be tempting to withdraw or quit trying. But it's worth committing to ongoing skill-building and practice in this area.

But being messy and imperfect, in progress, is not a reason to give up. In fact, there is no other path forward. When things feel messy and challenging I like to remind myself "of course you don't know how to do this yet; you've never been here before!"

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Embody a new story for your life: read here.
• Last chance to join the Make Space for Joy Workshop for free: sign up.
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community: click here.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

SHOW NOTES

This is a two-part conversation about rest – you can listen to part one here. In part two of the conversation I talk about the How of rest using my handcrafting a life vision worksheet (below) as a guide. NOT the how as in specific forms of rest (see the Rest Worksheets for that), but more how can we make space for rest or get creative and more flexible about rest.

I’m often surprised that most people I connect with have not heard of Dr. Saundra Dalton’s “7 Types of Rest.” In the worksheets (see below to get them for free), I add an 8th type – friendship with self – because befriending myself has been the greatest source of deep, abiding rest for me. Without this, no amount of other forms of rest can resolve the underlying sense of never being good enough, or the resulting striving and jumping through hoops to prove our worth, that so many people live with.

In this episode I share ideas to consider when exploring HOW you might make space for more rest in your life – whatever season you’re in, including the hardest of them. To get started, I share The 10 Commandments of Rest from REST, by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang.

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress.
• Learn more about my Life Visioning Process.
• Learn how to work 1:1 with Krista – learn more here.
• Permission To Rest, Recalibrate and get resourced | A Life In Progress
• Get the Rest Worksheets here (free): 8 Types Of Rest: Free Worksheets | A Life In Progress
• Register below for the new Joy Workshop coming early March or learn more here. And you can also buy part one here. Free registration for the new workshop runs Feb 19-March 1.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

In REST: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less, Alex Soojung-Kim Pang writes "Discoveries in sleep research, psychology, neuroscience, organizational behavior, sports medicine, sociology, and other fields have given us a wealth of insight into the unsung but critical role that rest plays in strengthening the brain, enhancing learning, enabling inspiration, and making innovation sustainable."

I would also argue that we have a right to rest simply because it’s a human need and we matter, not only as a means to any end goal. Yoga Nidra teacher and author of Daring of Rest, Karen Brody writes “We take rest like a pill for productivity. Let us rest without an agenda.” This can feel difficult because of the cultural conditioning and story that our worth is tied to our level of productivity.

SHOW NOTES: WHY DON'T YOU REST?

In part one of this conversation I talk about the Why and What of rest using my handcrafting a life vision worksheet (below) as a guide. Do you see yourself in one of these 12 reasons that (collective) we don't rest?

1. Guilt, shame, judgment - ex. "It's lazy to rest / I'm lazy"
2. Conditioning that tells us our value is tied to (constant) productivity or being immersed in 'more-and-faster-is-better' or hustle-culture
3. Comparison - ex. "other people have it worse / can't rest so I shouldn't"
4. You're in an extremely hard season, hard circumstances, and you're doing your best to survive or pay the bills
5. Trauma - it doesn't feel safe to rest... (head to episode page for the full list!)

LINKS/RESOURCES

1. Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
2. Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress.
3. Learn more about my Life Visioning Process.
4. Learn how to work 1:1 with Krista - learn more here.
5. Permission To Rest, Recalibrate and get resourced | A Life In Progress
6. Get on my email list to get free access to the new Joy Workshop coming early March. You can buy part one here. Registration for the new workshop runs Feb 19-March 1.
7. Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

SHOW NOTES: DO YOU FEEL FULLY ALIVE?

I've been thinking about this a lot - am I living fully alive? What does this look, sound, feel like in my body and life? As I was pondering this morning, these 6 characteristics came up for me (I expand upon them in the conversation).

I feel fully alive when...

1. I allow myself to feel.
2. I pause between impulse and response.
3. I am present in my day-to-day.
4. I show up as my True Self and walk out my values.
5. I honour my true capacity and do my own healing work/pour in.
6. I flex and stay open to the wisdom and beauty of each new season.

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map (+50% off coupon code) | A Life In Progress
• Spring is coming! Seasonal Mindfulness Journals: 52 Mondays: Seasonal Mindfulness Journals | A Life In Progress
• The Enneagram: Exploring The Enneagram: You're More Than A Number | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• How To Meet and Befriend Your True Self | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

SHOW NOTES

In this episode I use three examples of women somewhere in the middle season of life, and a situation they are grappling with. I walk through a cycle of self-awareness, self-compassion, and imperfect action to offer examples of how they might respond to the situation in front of them to thrive forward and continue building a soul-honouring life. You may not relate to these specific examples, of course, but you can try out this cycle yourself. As if you do so with consistency, you'll water these roots and, I trust, feel the lasting benefits.

My Hope Map Graphic includes this cycle of self-awareness, self-compassion, and imperfect action (see center of graphic on my site) that, as a practice, helps us put down deep roots that hold us fast in the storm. Just keep in mind, that the first two roots without the third will not move you forward.

For a brave and beautiful life, or a values-aligned and soul-honouring life, we must build the root of imperfect action through consistent practice (or watering). We find our way in action, not before. We grow into our wisdom, bravery, and strength as we go. One small step and then another.

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map (+50% off coupon code) | A Life In Progress
• Get to Know Yourself: 10 Ideas To Deepen Your Self-Awareness (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Self-Compassion Will Help You Become Your Own Best Friend | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Make Peace with Paradox + Practice Imperfect Action | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

But we are all in progress and we need repetition to truly move a new truth from head into heart and then deeper into the body until it lives in our bones or becomes embodied truth. We travel deeper, not wider. Life is more circular than linear. We learn how to practice a new skill or pattern in new circumstances. We take it to the next level. But we don’t go backwards. 

SHOW NOTES

We're all simply practicing. We're all in progress, going deeper not wider.

There's so much pain and shame when we believe the story that we 'should' be better/different/further along than exactly where we are. This keeps us stuck in unhelpful patterns and robs us of living awake and present to the very real - imperfect and beautiful - reality in front of us.

With each repetition or encounter with a particular struggle/skill, we deepen our roots and our wisdom grows too. And as we go deeper, slow and steady, we encounter True Self hidden beneath layers of hurt, trying to get our needs met, and behavioral patterns constructed to help us feel safe and loved in this messy world. All the work we’ve done to get to this place in our journey, none of it is wasted. It’s all here with us as we face this new season or circumstance.

In this episode I share four gifts that come from accepting that we're all simply practicing and help us shift from shame or despair into agency.

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map (+50% off coupon code) | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

I certainly need regular check-points or invitations to do this for myself. It’s so easy to see all the things I want to do better, the problems that need resolving, goals that need mapping out, people to love, and so on. But when we take time to see that we are already doing well – to see our strengths and not only our struggle – then we are able to show up to life with resilience and (more often) joy.

SHOW NOTES

Thank yourself for all of your hard, meaningful, brave work. Be proud of yourself!

Regular checkpoints like at the end of each day (using my 3/2/1 exercise), at the end of each of week/month/season, and once or twice a year for a year-in-review process help us build this powerful practice into our lives. It won’t happen by accident.

Healthy community matters. The people you spend time with, the voices you listen to, all influence the ways that you speak to yourself, treat yourself, and how you show up to the fullness of your life. Choose your inner circles, in particular, wisely.

Spend some time deepening your roots of self-awareness and self-compassion with these 17 prompts (on my website - see link below).

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (registration ends January 12th!): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community | A Life In Progress
• Free 25m zoom chat with Krista if you need help deciding if the B+B Community is a good fit for you in this season: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Circle of impact: The Simple But Uncommon Boundary Tip You’ve Likely Never Considered + A Circle of Impact Exercise | A Life In Progress
• 3/2/1 exercise: 3 Important Questions I Recommend Adding To Your Evening Routine | (alifeinprogress.ca) and this episode shares more about the practice: Practice Self-Compassion Like Your Life Depends Upon It (alifeinprogress.ca)
• 17 prompts: Take Some Time To Be Proud of Yourself | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

SHOW NOTES

Something I did not share in this episode, is that in the years since my son died, something that has been healing has been to pour some extra love into our home. I’ve done some renovations, decluttered a couple areas, created a new home office for myself, and continue saving money for needed updates. As I share in this episode, I’m not attached to a building itself. I’m attached to the FEELING of home as sacred.

In this episode, I invite you to explore your own relationship with home and environment. From who gets access to you, the rhythms and routines than lend themselves to joy, naming how you want to feel in your home, and how you might pour some extra love into your home… I hope this episode will get some new ideas simmering in you around how to honour the sanctity and gift of home and amplify joy.

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (early promo Dec 4-15: join at current rate before price goes up in January + join the Seasonal Transition Call for free!): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community | A Life In Progress
• The Seasonal Transition Call – Winter Solstice ($90 or free for Brave + Beautiful Community Members): Join The Winter Solstice Call: Honour Your Wiring in Every Season (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Free 25m zoom chat with Krista if you need help deciding if the B+B Community is a good fit for you in this season: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Home is sacred space. It's not the size or fanciness of home that matters. Feeling at home in our body and life is also sacred. We get to treat home (home in self) as sacred and be the gatekeeper of who and what gets access to us/our True Self.

Joy is relational; it's amplified when shared with others. But if we don't have a safe 'home base' within ourselves, we likely feel dysregulated often, or easily tip into old self-protective patterns, which impacts our relationships. We need to feel safe, at home, and (hopefully) joyful in our bodies and lives. When we reclaim home within ourselves we show up to our relationships in a healthier way.

In this episode I speak to four key ideas that help us come home to ourselves: we don't need fixing; we need witnessing (by self and others); daily recovery is necessary; we can make choices from a loving and nurturing place instead of from a rule-oriented, judging or shaming place; and we need to become awake to the cultural dictates that lead to burnout, bodily dissatisfaction, and self-abandonment.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• Sign up for the free Simplify + Recalibrate: Join The 5-Day Challenge! (registration ends Dec 1)
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (early promo Dec 4-15: join at current rate before price goes up in January + join the Seasonal Transition Call for free!): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community | A Life In Progress
• The Seasonal Transition Call - Winter Solstice ($90 or free for Brave + Beautiful Community Members): Join The Winter Solstice Call: Honour Your Wiring in Every Season (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Free 25m zoom chat with Krista if you need help deciding if the B+B Community is a good fit for you in this season: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

SHOW NOTES

Grief is always hard... but grieving over the holidays can be an extra layer of hard. Our grief doesn't need to be 'fixed.' It simply needs to be witnessed.

In this episode I share honestly about where I'm at and a few ideas for taking good care of yourself if you're grieving over the holidays.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• Sign up for the free Simplify + Recalibrate: Join The 5-Day Challenge! (registration ends Dec 1)
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Grief Support: Tools For Suicide or Child Loss | A Life In Progress
• The HSP Podcast Presents: Thriving Through & Beyond Grief as HSPs with Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui - YouTube
• How to Navigate the Inner Winter of Grief in Menopause (Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui)
• What Is An Inner Winter Season? (And How To Learn Trust And Practice Paradox In Winter Seasons) | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Phyllis Mathis MA (find her book bottom of home page)
• Soul + Practice: Raw Conversations & Real Practices with Kathy Escobar & Phyllis Mathis on Apple Podcasts
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

I don't know what all is going on in your life, of course, but perhaps there are ways you can lower your stress through less performing, people-pleasing, and perfectionism while amping up your joy or wellbeing.

Next week the focus is on holding space for both joy and pain over the holidays.

SHOW NOTES

If less performing and more joy this holiday season sounds welcome, then I invite you to spend time reflecting on the questions I share in this episode.

They are not magic .... just a simple invitation to get honest about the reality of your capacity in this season, the traditions that truly fill you up, and 'permission' to question and/or edit or release the rest.

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

LINKS/REFERENCES

1. Between Nov 20 - Dec 01, Sign up for the free Simplify + Recalibrate: Join The 5-Day Challenge! | A Life In Progress (runs Dec 4-8). If you tried to sign up before Monday, Nov 20, you will need to sign up again.
2. Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
3. Book your 2024 coaching space: learn more about 1:1 work with Krista.
4. Winter Mindfulness Journal: find all four seasonal mindfulness journals here.

SHOW NOTES

In this episode I share 15 examples of leaky boundaries from my life, 7 common reasons midlife women struggle to articulate/communicate/honour healthy boundaries for themselves, the difference between a boundary with self and a boundary involving another person, and what a leaky boundary is and is NOT.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• How to Build Brave and Flexible Boundaries With Yourself First | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Reclaim Your Voice: How To Set Healthy Boundaries | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Are Boundaries Selfish? Boundaries Are Actually Compassionate: This Is Why | A Life In Progress
• The Simple But Uncommon Boundary Tip You've Likely Never Considered + A Circle of Impact Exercise | A Life In Progress
• Brave Boundaries Workshop, Part 1 | A Life In Progress
• Brave Midlife Boundaries Workshop, Part 2 | A Life In Progress
• The Four Tendencies Quiz | Gretchen Rubin
• Book your 1:1 client space for 2024
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

SHOW NOTES

We're all birthing something (or creating, handcrafting, bring to life or fruition, building, spilling over/offering something). But what happens when life is really messy and the waves keep on coming, intense as ever? Do we throw in the towel, sink into despair, or abdicate the privilege and responsibility of bringing our vision to life and/or helping build a world we want to live in?

In 2018 I wrote a simple post about choosing all or something. This practice has helped me over the past 5 years and continues to encourage me today. In this episode I chat about drawing a new map for this season of life, mining for the beauty and wisdom in every season, laying a foundation of health, and some of the ways I'm practicing all or something so that I can keep writing and showing up for life though I've been experiencing high anxiety.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• Just Choose All or Something: read the post here.
• Lunar Abundance, Dr. Ezzie Spencer: take a look here (referral link)
• Reignite Your Creativity Worksheets - get the worksheets here.
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Cultivating Joy: How to bring more joy into your daily life | Globalnews.ca
• New life hack: The joy snack - The Washington Post
• Practice Self-Compassion Like Your Life Depends Upon It: Episode 2 (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Make Peace With Messiness to Make Space for Joy: Episode 4 | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

I learned to armor up at a young age. Lately I’ve been thinking through some of the reasons that may have led to this. In my early childhood, two of my friends died - one of cancer, one in a house fire down the street. Siblings who had been abused joined our family and because they did not receive any support as individuals, and we did not receive any support as a family, this brought some chaos to our home.

One of my sisters burned our house down when I was 11. My mom got cancer the first time when I was 21 or so and she died 10 years later. My dad died of cancer about 10 years after that and there were a lot of other layers of heartache and fear mixed in.

My parents relied on my husband and I to come help whenever there was a new crisis - and I was happy to help. But I lived on high alert. I remember one day recognizing that I could not and would not allow myself to feel too happy because when the next bad thing came that lay in wait just around the bend, I’d have further to fall.

SOME KEY IDEAS

• Brené Brown says that we armor up to avoid shame, anxiety, uncertainty, and fear and this usually revolves around 1 of 3 methods: striving for perfection; numbing out; disrupting joyful moments by dress-rehearsing tragedy and imagining all the ways that things could go wrong.
• Joy is a basic human emotion and it’s also the most vulnerable emotion - it makes sense that we armor up as a form of self-protection. To allow joy to live in our bodies and lives we must learn safety in vulnerability.
• I mention soul child theory re: the Enneagram / my nature or essence is joy.
• You can’t necessarily manufacture joy but you can allow it, notice it, feel it, savor it. We can also become awake to conditioning and cultural dictates that rob us of joy (I didn’t say this but more to come in season 2).
• When we are mindful of our suffering and respond with kindness… we cope with greater ease. We create a state of mind and heart that reduces psychopathology while enhancing joy and meaning in life. - Kristin Neff and Andrew Costigan
• Joy is a distinct positive emotion “for when we feel connected or reunited with something or someone that’s really important to us.” -Phillip Watkins, psychologist who studies joy, gratitude, happiness
• “Rejoice. An odd word that literally means ‘to experience joy again.’ That should be our daily mission. To experience joy again. Sure there’s stuff that needs doing, stuff to wade through and stuff to fix but there’s also the joy of small things: a hug, a conversation…walking on the land, listening to great music or enjoying silence and a cup of tea. Rejoice. Fill yourself again.” - Richard Wagamese
• An intellectual experience of joy is not the same as embodied experience. 

LINKS/REFERENCES

• Join The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community Autumn Session - our theme is Filled Up + Overflowing. Final day to join us is Oct 6th (start date Oct 9). Register here https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/
• I’m taking a break and season 2 of this podcast begins Oct 26/23. The focus will be on Embodied Joy.
• Expand Your Capacity for Joy Workshop: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-joy-workshop/
• The Hope Map: my Monday Morning Email: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/hope-map/

I remember my dad telling me one day over a decade ago, that the time between a vision and the fruition of a vision or dream can take years - decades even. I can look back and see this truth at play in many areas of my life. It often takes longer than our ego wants and feels comfortable with, far longer than our brain believes it ‘should’ take, even longer than our body feels it can withstand. 

There are no shortcuts, no bypassing certain experiences. We must go through. We must do the work to put down deep roots and do the work required so that we are equipped for what comes next. 

SOME KEY IDEAS

• Safety first. Bring safety to yourself or your experience through curiosity and compassion.
• Stretch don’t stress. Ask “Am I unsafe or am I uncomfortable?”
• Practice a pause. Create space between stimulus and response so that you can choose your next step/your response.
• We all have patterns (behaviours, emotional responses, thoughts) that are “state not trait.” They are not WHO we are but HOW we learned to show up to life. Awareness=more choice.
• Move at your own pace. Whether grieving, healing, bringing a dream or vision to life, things take time. We grow into our vision. Grief must do its work in us.
• No amount of comparing, shaming, bullying will move us forward in a positive way. Remove the shame and judgment around whatever you are experiencing or wherever you are on your journey. 
• When you’re in the thick of it, it’s really hard to see any movement/growth/change. Reach out for support. And take one more step forward. 
• There are tools and practices you can learn to discharge stress and help you feel more regulated and able to take the next step forward: movement, humming/sighing, shifting your posture, and exposure to cold are some examples.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• Join The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community Autumn Session. Early registration ends tomorrow but regular registration ends Oct 6th or when we hit our cap. Use the coupon code OVERFLOWING10 to take 10% off at checkout! Learn more: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/
• The Feel More Empowered Workshop $7: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/feel-more-empowered/
• 30 Ways to Feel Calmer and More Empowered in Your Body and Life (free): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-feel-calmer-in-your-body-and-mind/
• The Upside of Stress, Kelly McGonigal, PhD: my referral link

I’m a slow mover by nature. To be healthy and happy, I require a lot of spaciousness and breathing room in my life to think, connect the dots inside my mind, process, putter, and integrate. I lived most of my life in chronic pain, had a disease as a child and now a hip replacement that brings physical limitations and I walk with a limp. 

But though I’m not wired for hustle-culture, I’ve built a brave and beautiful life at my own rhythm. I move through life in a (mostly) soul-honouring and sustainable way and this helps me feel safe, at home, and joyful in my body and life.

SOME KEY IDEAS:

• We can’t pour out what we don’t also pour in.
• Performance and productivity do not prove your worth. You can opt out of hustle-culture (or at least not judge yourself by it).
• There is beauty and wisdom to be mined in every season - even the hardest (and slowest) of them. Knowing the season(s) you’re in increases peace and wellbeing.
• Simple habits, rituals, and practices that honour your wiring will help you build a life you desire and more fully express the truth of who and how you choose to be in the world.
• Build the muscle of imperfect action. We find our way in action not before. Slow and steady action with consistency leads to powerful results.
• Whether healing, grieving, creating, walking, or … you get to move at the pace of your nervous system. Begin as you mean to go on.
• Spring for me is an invitation to rest, recalibrate, and restore. Build rest and check-points into your day, week, season, and year to guard your mind-body health and live aligned with your values and priorities.

LINKS/REFERENCES:

• The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community Autumn Session is open for early registration Sep 4-16: when you join during early-registration you get to join us for our Seasonal (equinox) Call and get the Seasonal Transition Workbook. And 10 people can use the coupon code OVERFLOWING10 to take 10% off at checkout! Learn more: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/
• The Midlife Crossroad PDF (free / follows season 1 of this podcast): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-midlife-crossroad/
• The Wisdom of Life Seasons: How to Embrace the Season You’re In: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/life-seasons/
• An Overview of Seasonal Living and How to Explore: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/an-overview-of-seasonal-living-and-how-to-explore/
• 8 Types of Rest Worksheets: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/8-types-of-rest-free-worksheets/

Loneliness has the same health impact as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and increases risk of premature death by 29%. A 2021 Canadian survey reported that more than 1 in 10 people are always or often lonely. 3/10 said they are sometimes lonely. And a 2020 loneliness report shared that 52% of Americans feel lonely and 47% say their relationships with others do not feel meaningful. 

As an HSP and strong introvert I crave deep heart-to-heart connection. But I’ve also had to learn to move against my instinct to withdraw or isolate and instead make a bid for connection when feeling low, and to risk vulnerability and get creative about forging healthy relationships and community.

We need to grapple with this paradox: We are wired for connection and we need each other. But also, it’s often better to be alone than to remain in unhealthy spaces / relationships.

SOME KEY IDEAS

• There are many factors that contribute to midlife women feeling lonely or disconnected. We all have an internal story of connection or protection - what’s your story?
• Loneliness has many negative health impacts. Loneliness and solitude are not the same thing. It’s possible to feel lonely in a crowd.
• Social support and social connection are not the same thing; they are both important. If we have social support without social connection, we can still feel lonely.
• All of us have a bidirectional Circle of Impact; we need to choose our inner circle(s) wisely. Emotions (including loneliness) are contagious as are mental states, positive or negative.
• Not every relationship is forever. 
• Healthy relationships must include healthy boundaries and brave conversations.
• EQ is a predictor of happiness in relationships. 4 key components of EQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness or empathy, social skills.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop, Sep 6 (registration closes Sep 1): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-your-inner-critic-workshop/
• The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community, early registration for Autumn Session runs Sep 4-16 (join the BB early / join the Seasonal Transition Call free): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/
• The Midlife Crossroad PDF (free / follows season 1 of this podcast): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-midlife-crossroad/
• Boundaries Workshops: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/workshops-for-your-life-in-progress/
• The Circle of Impact Exercise: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-circle-of-impact-exercise/

I’m a recovering perfectionist - an Enneagram One (hopeful reformer) for those of you familiar with The Enneagram. I had to learn to make peace with the messiness of life - the imperfection of myself, messiness at home (ex. creative art projects as I raised creative humans, leaving laundry in a basket so I could write), and messiness in relationships, in order to find joy. 

No matter how hard I worked, appliances broke, people I loved died, marriage and raising kids was hard work, and money was often tight. None of this was wrong or bad (hard isn’t the same as ‘wrong’) - it was simply part of a full, meaningful, beautiful life. I couldn’t control it. 

I made a decision at one point to stop reading magazines and books, or watching shows/movies that pulled me into comparison or feeling less than. I needed to intentionally quiet the noise and fairy-tale versions of life so that I could love the life in front of me.

Quote I mentioned in this episode: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." -Viktor Frankl

SOME KEY IDEAS:

• Learning to practice paradox - or both/and - will change your experience of life, quality of relationships, and mind-body health.
• We all have coping mechanisms or ways of numbing, running, avoiding, bypassing.
• You 'shouldn’t' be perfect. We find our way in action, not before. As long as you’re awake, saying yes to life, you’ll meet new challenges and learning opportunities. 
• Railing against reality keeps us stuck in suffering. When we make peace with messiness we make space for joy.
• We can’t control a lot of life but we can always choose our response. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Viktor Frankl

LINKS/REFERENCES:

• Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop, Sep 6: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-your-inner-critic-workshop/ (Early-bird pricing is over but you can still join us! Registration ends Sep 3.)
• The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community - join the waitlist for our Autumn Session: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/
• Make Peace With Paradox and Practice Imperfect Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/make-peace-with-paradox/
• The Midlife Crossroad PDF (free / follows season 1 of this podcast): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-midlife-crossroad/

A clear and compelling life vision, and clarity around my core values, kept me anchored after my parents died, through chronic pain, after a traumatic car accident, through and beyond the death of my son, PTSD, and deep grief. It lights my path in every season - it helps me live ON PURPOSE.

I don’t want to miss my life being distracted by shiny things, comparison, or waiting for a “perfect some day.” I choose to show up fully to every day I get.

SOME KEY IDEAS

• At the end of your life how will you know you’ve lived well?
• Focus ↠ aim ↠ vision
• A clear vision and knowing our core values keeps us anchored in every season, helps us keep our eyes on our own path, and helps us not lose hope when life feels hard.
• Hope is not fairy dust - it’s a realistic sense of optimism based on an expectation of positive outcomes. It involves agency (power of choice) and a belief that there are alternate pathways to our desired goal/outcome.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• My values: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/meet-krista/
• 3/2/1 Exercise: 3 Purposeful Questions I Ask Myself Each Night as Part of a Simple Evening Routine | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Free life visioning tools: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/life-visioning-tools/
• Top 5 Regrets of The Dying book (my referral link): https://amzn.to/47scnMo
• What is Hope in Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/what-is-hope-and-why-i-practice-hope-in-action/
• Core Values Workshop: Core values Workshop
• Life Visioning Course: The Life Visioning Course: Handcraft A Soul-Honouring Life | A Life In Progress

When my third child was born, 18 years ago, I held her little body in my arms and realized in that moment that for her sake and mine, I would never again bully or berate my body or myself. I made the decision and then I had to practice.

Some Key Ideas:

• Compassion needs to be bidirectional.
• Falling down, making mistakes, or being messy is not the problem. Staying down, or staying mired in shame and judgment is a problem.
• Self-Compassion has 3 components: mindfulness, self-kindness, common humanity.
• Fear and the Inner Critic are not against you - they are simply trying to protect you but in maladaptive ways (or ways that no longer serve you).
• Safety is required for us to be in a position to hear, grow, heal, build a new pattern.

Links/References: 

• Kristin Neff: Self-Compassion
• 3/2/1 Exercise: 3 Purposeful Questions I Ask Myself Each Night as Part of a Simple Evening Routine | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop: Sep 6, 2023 Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop | A Life In Progress
• How To Befriend My Inner Critic and Quiet Its Noise: How to Befriend my Inner Critic and Quiet its Noise | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Tender Self-Compassion: Self-Compassion Will Help You Become Your Own Best Friend | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Fierce Self-Compassion: How to Practice Fierce Self-Compassion to Get Unstuck | (alifeinprogress.ca)

I was 10 years old when I first had the thought "the world is too heavy for me." I tried to die three times between the ages of 14-18. Then began a journey of trying to figure out HOW to live. I was looking for freedom but kept picking up another set of chains.

When I stopped trying to FIX myself and began the process of meeting and befriending myself (though I didn't have that language back then), life began to change.

I share a bit about myself today as this is the first episode.

KEY IDEAS:

• True Self and personality are not the same thing. We grow into ourselves over time.
• There is beauty and wisdom to be mined in every season, including the hard winter seasons.
• You can embrace all of your parts and approach growth and healing from the perspective that you're already ok (worthy of love, belonging, good things).
• When each of us shows up as true self and integrated/whole, we form a beautiful whole.

LINKS/REFERENCES:

• No Bad Parts, Dick Schwartz, PhD
• The Midlife Crossroad: The Midlife Crossroad: 7 Truths for Freedom, health and joy | A Life In Progress
• Krista on IG
• Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and Rebranding Middle Age
• The Brave + Beautiful Community
• Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop: Sep 6, 2023: Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop | A Life In Progress