A Tone Meant For Me

Pregnancy Hormones

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 29 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Furthering along their pregnancy journey, Kaidain Ivy describes the reality of dealing with the us and downs of hormones.

@KaidainIvy

Panic Attack

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 22 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

ATMFM Episode 90: Panic Attack

The Queen

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 15 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

The passing of the Queen has set off polarizing emotions. Having grown up in a British household, Kaidain Ivy discusses their conflicting feelings about the monarch’s passing.

@KaidainIvy

The Other Asian

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Since the beginning of the pandemic, safe spaces for Asians have been increasingly shrinking. The xenophobia has been suffocating especially when facing Anti Chinese sentiments,

@KaidainIvy

Finding Safe Spaces

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 01 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Finding Safe Spaces

Ultrasound

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 24 Sep 2022 00:00:00 -0400

ATMFM Episode 86: Ultrasound

Pregnancy Cravings

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 17 Sep 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Episode 85: Pregnancy Cravings

Medical Microaggressions

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 10 Sep 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Episode 84: Medical Microaggressions

Suicide Awareness

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 03 Sep 2022 00:00:00 -0400

The pandemic has definitely taken a great mental toll on all of us and it is so easy to lose touch and lose track. Kaidain Ivy discusses the unexpected death of a crewmate and how important it has been to lean on the rest of the crew during such a painful time.

@KaidainIvy

Hyperemesis

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 27 Aug 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy discusses their ongoing struggles through hyperemesis during their pregnancy.

@KaidainIvy

Biggest Collab Yet

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 20 Aug 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy is back from a break to discuss the biggest collab of their life.

@KaidainIvy

My Tattoos

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 02 Jul 2022 00:00:00 -0400

With tattoos becoming more visible and commonplace, Kaidain Ivy breaks down the art permanently inked into their skin.

@KaidainIvy

Mermaiding and Mental Health

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 25 Jun 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy is joined by Donald/Lagoon of the Deep to discuss mermaiding as an escape.

@KaidainIvy

Personalizing Commissions

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 18 Jun 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Amidst Pride Month, Kaidain Ivy gives insight into how they customize unique pieces!

@KaidainIvy

The Death Of My Best Friend Two Years Later

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 11 Jun 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy reflects back on their two-year journey of life beyond the death of their best friend.

@KaidainIvy

The Reality Of Dealing With The Surreal

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 04 Jun 2022 00:00:00 -0400

When history keeps repeating itself, how do you cope with a reality that feels so unfamiliar?

@KaidainIvy

Birth Control

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 28 May 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Having spent about half of their life on birth control, Kaidain Ivy discussed their findings and experiences and how they have been affected.

@KaidainIvy

My Birthday

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 21 May 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Some people feel like their life is over at 30, Kaidain Ivy’s is just beginning.

@KaidainIvy

Post Film 5

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 14 May 2022 00:00:00 -0400

And that’s a wrap! The challenges of heading multiple departments during COVID for “A Walk in the Sun”.

@KaidainIvy

Prepping For Film 5

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 07 May 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy breaks down the challenges of filming for Atlantic Film Coop’s film 5 mentorship program during the pandemic.

@KaidainIvy

Learning to Diminish Yourself For The Comfort Of Others

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 30 Apr 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Learning to diminish yourself for the comfort of others is something many minorities subconsciously learn as a defence mechanism in order to assimilate. It is much more difficult to consciously examine and unlearn, especially when enforcing your boundaries has been labelled as impolite.

@KaidainIvy

Advice For My Younger Self

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 23 Apr 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy breaks down some of the things they wish they had learned earlier in life.

@KaidainIvy

Sexuality

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 16 Apr 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy muses through their journey of discovering and embracing sexuality.

@KaidainIvy

My New Tail

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 09 Apr 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Taking mermaiding to the next step with a new mermaid tail skin to cover the monofin!

@KaidainIvy

Agoraphobia

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 02 Apr 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Agoraphobia is a side effect of CPTSD that has been exacerbated over the pandemic due to the increasing level of hostility towards Asians.

@KaidainIvy

Adoption As An Identifier

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 26 Mar 2022 00:00:00 -0400

The topic of identity is a reoccurring one to examine especially when specific identifiers have become your introduction as a way to make people more comfortable.

@KaidainIvy

https://www.atonemeantforme.com/episode-66-adoption-as-an-identifier/

https://youtu.be/1vSYmkU8ATM

The Weight Of Being Invisible

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 19 Mar 2022 00:00:00 -0400

The weight of being silenced and invisible is a burden with many faces but are met with incredulity or scorn when those experiences are voiced.

@KaidainIvy

Imposter Syndrome

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 12 Mar 2022 00:00:00 -0400

The weight of expectation can feel immeasurable at times. Sometimes the exhaustion of the journey can outweigh and dull the shine of the achievement, especially within the marginalized communities.

@KaidainIvy

My First Mermaid Fluke From Mertailor

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 05 Mar 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Having gained more experience mermaiding, Kaidain Ivy shows and explains the features of their new mermaid fluke (monofin).

@KaidainIvy

Painting Breakdown

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 26 Feb 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Episode 62: Painting Breakdown

Finding Your Baseline

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 19 Feb 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Episode 61: Finding Your Baseline

Living With A House Full Of Animals

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 12 Feb 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Episode 60: Living With A House Full Of Animals

Valentine's Day

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 05 Feb 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy has always struggled with Valentine’s Day and the celebrations surrounding it. Sometimes it’s best to lock dreams away for better days because things can take on a new meaning when you find someone you can fully share your life with.y

Updated Studio

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 29 Jan 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Given some more isolation creation time, Kaidain Ivy walks you through the newly painted studio, breaking down some of the inspiration and creative process.

When Anxiety Meets Depression

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 22 Jan 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy breaks down the chaos and conflict that can be suffering from depression and anxiety at the same time.

Telling Our Stories

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Having delved more in-depth into cultural identity, Kaidain Ivy explains why it is important to amply BIPOC voices especially when they are telling their stories. Traditionally, this has been overseen almost paternally; carefully moderated, curated and edited to suit one specific audience. Though we have come to recognize other voices in the room, that paternal forced guidance continues to silence those who have little to no voice or platform.

@KaidainIvy

Running A White Passing Social Media

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 08 Jan 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Running A White Passing Social Media

Bullying

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 01 Jan 2022 00:00:00 -0400

Bullying

Christmas Special

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 25 Dec 2021 00:01:00 -0400

Kaidain and their fiancé Donald reflect on the past year, COVID Christmas and wish everyone a blessed holiday.

@KaidainIvy

The Death Of Vader

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 25 Dec 2021 00:00:00 -0400

The Death Of Vader

Online Harassment

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 18 Dec 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy and Donald share and discuss some of their experiences with online harassment and bullying and the lack of failsafes to protect minorities in those situations.

@KaidainIvy

Online Censorship

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 11 Dec 2021 00:00:00 -0400

https://www.atonemeantforme.com/episode-51-online-censorship/

Outfit Breakdown

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 04 Dec 2021 00:00:00 -0400

As promised Kaidain Ivy breaks down the symbolism and meaning behind one of their handcrafted outfits.

@KaidainIvy

Adventures In Our Room

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 27 Nov 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy and Donald invite you to immerse in the colours and hidden details that create their room.

@KaidainIvy

Mermaids

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 20 Nov 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Donald joins Kaidain Ivy to discuss their experiences swimming as merfolk.

@KaidainIvy

I Got Engaged

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 00:00:00 -0400

He liked it so much he put a ring on it.

Disassociation

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Living with trauma presents certain challenges pertaining to disassociation.

Kaidain Ivy breaks down their experience with the positive and negative aspects of disassociation.

@KaidainIvy

Cultural Conflict – Canadian Pinay Edition

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 21 Aug 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy is joined by guest Irene to further discuss the cultural conflicts Filipinos face in Canada.

@KaidainIvy

RepresentASIAN Stereotypes

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 14 Aug 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy brings @irsaliendra to talk about the cross-section of stereotypes that is being a Pinay in Canada

@KaidainIvy

Sexual and Fetishization

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 07 Aug 2021 00:00:00 -0400

The cross-section of several societal constructs and what that means to an Asian Woman.

@KaidainIvy

Why Unicorns?

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 31 Jul 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy explains the beginnings of her use of unicorns as a muse and how that has coincided with their healing journey.

@KaidainIvy

Survivor’s Guilt

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 24 Jul 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy reflects on their experiences with survivors' guilt and how it has reared its head through recent events.

@KaidainIvy

The Death Of My Best Friend: One Year Later

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 17 Jul 2021 00:00:00 -0400

A death is always a difficult place to start a new journey.

Kaidain Ivy concludes their year of firsts and dealing with grief.

@KaidainIvy

Sliding Into My DMs 2

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 24 Apr 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Apparently, this is a reoccurring segment.

Just Because You Don’t Find Something Offensive

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 17 Apr 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Episode 38 Just Because You Don’t Find Something Offensive

Micro Aggressions

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 10 Apr 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Episode 37 Micro Aggressions

Anti-Asian Violence

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 03 Apr 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Anti-Asian Violence

Sliding Into My DMs

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 27 Mar 2021 00:00:00 -0400

We’ve all seen screencaps of ridiculous sliding into someone’s DMs floating around online. It’s always a good laugh. Kaidain Ivy shares some of the conversations they have accumulated.

@KaidainIvy

White Supremacy

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 20 Mar 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy discusses their struggles with their own internal white supremacy and what that actually looks like in the BIPOC community.

@KaidainIvy

Being Heard

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 13 Mar 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy expands on finding their voice and what it means to be heard.

@kaidainivy

Finding My Voice

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy discusses the challenges and realizations that came along with finding their voice.

@kaidainivy

QnA with Donald and Vee

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy is joined by Vee and Donald to answer questions and get to know each other.

@kaidainivy

@venndattagram

@don_bodies

Offensive Jokes with Donald and Vee

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 20 Feb 2021 00:00:00 -0400

When the world seems to have become political correctness gone mad, Kaidain Ivy, Donald and Vee discuss where they feel the line is for them.

@kaidainivy

@venndattagram

@don_bodies

Pronouns with Donald and Vee

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 13 Feb 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy is joined by Vee and Donald to discuss pronouns and the use of pronouns and exploring gender fluidity.

@kaidainivy

@venndattagram

@don_bodies

Donald

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 06 Feb 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Notoriously private on relationship details, Kaidain Ivy opens up about her new relationship with Donald and how being in a healthy relationship has changed her.

@kaidainivy

The Death of an Inspiration

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 30 Jan 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Loss is a prevailing theme lately. Kaidain Ivy remembers Jennifer Johnson Queen of Gore, a close friend who lost her battle to cancer recently, one month before her 43rd birthday.

@kaidainivy

@jentheundead

Living With Trauma

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy explores a little further into what life looks like for her, living with trauma and PTSD.

@kaidainivy

Inspiration

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 16 Jan 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Where and how does one begin to get inspired to create? Having been frequently asked, Kaidain Ivy explores what inspires her.

@kaidainivy

So I Painted My Room..

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 09 Jan 2021 00:00:00 -0400

What happens when an artist gets her own house; it gets painted….and painted….and painted….

@kaidainivy

Q n A

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 00:00:00 -0400

Q n A

2020: A Review

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 26 Dec 2020 00:00:00 -0400

2020: A Review

How I Work Out My Feelings Through Design

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy briefly explains how everything and anything can be turned into art.

@kaidainivy

The Death Of My Best Friend (Six Months Later)

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 12 Dec 2020 00:00:00 -0400

This week marks the birthday of Kaidain Ivy’s best friend who was mourned and discussed in Episode One.

Kaidain Ivy reflects on how that grief has evolved and changed and how it has changed her.

In loving memory of Tyler Payne.

@kaidainivy

Asking For Help

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Something as small as asking for help does not always come naturally to some. Kaidain Ivy discusses the importance of learning to and when to ask for help.

@kaidainivy

Our Friendship with Vee

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 31 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Vee joins a Kaidain Ivy to talk about how their friendship has endured through the years.

Kaidain Ivy

Dating with Vee

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 24 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Vee joins Kaidain Ivy to discuss the ups and downs of dating.

Kaidain Ivy

Mental Health with Vee

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 17 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Kaidain Ivy was founded on a platform of mental health awareness.

Vee joins Kaidain Ivy to discuss using art as a way of coping with various mental health struggles and it has created a bond of friendship.

Kaidain Ivy

Drag and Burlesque with Vee

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 10 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Drag and Burlesque with Vee

Miscarriage

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 03 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0400

As a woman, a lot of focus and value is placed on my ability to procreate and it is seldom discussed how a pregnancy that does not result in birth can mentally, emotionally and physically affect. It is seen as a fact of life, just something to overcome and I had no idea how prevalent it is or how so many women suffer through it alone because it isn’t something that is frequently discussed.

Kaidain Ivy

Self Harm

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 26 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Having been vocal and public about my lifelong struggles with self harm addiction, I will be exploring the different ways that it has manifested in my life over the years and the challenges I face overcoming it.

Kaidain Ivy

Being Evicted During A Pandemic

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0400

This year has been a year of upheaval without being Reno-victed from the place I have been living in for several years because it is not up to code.

Add a housing crisis and 1% vacancy and I find myself I.

The middle of yet another middle.

Kaidain Ivy

Vader

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 12 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0400

It’s amazing how miraculous being blessed with a dog has been. Vader has taught me how to love and care and trust in a living being who loves me unconditionally. I have fought tooth and nail to keep him in my life and he has protected me without even understanding what was going around him. He is the most loyal friend and I am constantly amazed by how intuitive and caring he is.

Kaidain Ivy

White Privilege

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 05 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Many people are still confused and wary of the term white privilege. It does exist. We can be a part of that shift in culture if we inform ourselves and listen to other people’s experiences. These are some of mine as a person of colour in Canada.

Kaidain Ivy

Growing Up Without Representation

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 29 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Filipino growing up in a British family surrounded by caucasian representation

Just some observations.

Kaidain Ivy.

Saying No

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 22 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0400

The word "no" is often taken for granted.

My own ability to assertively say "no" has greatly impacted my growth as a human being and healing process.

I hadn't realized until recently just how many people, myself included feel uncomfortable saying the word "no" because of how other people react to it.

Just some observations.

Kaidain Ivy.

Be Nice

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 15 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Words matters.

Having been involved in some extremely eye-opening conversations as of late, I will be exploring how the phrase "Be Nice" has affected my traumas in the past.

This understanding within myself has been instrumental in my own healing process and will continue to be food for thought going forward for me.

Kaidain Ivy.

The Before

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 08 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0400

The world is not what it was in January.

I will be discussing my mentality going into isolation and what fuels my current mindset in our new Covid-19 reality.

Kaidain Ivy.

The Death Of My Best Friend

Kaidain Ivy — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Through this new podcast, I will be exploring the emotions and experiences that have fuelled my designs starting by discussing the death of my best friend. With isolation and Covid-19 restrictions, grief has been a challenge to face without a physical community. In an honest discussion, I am finding new avenues to understand my grief

Kaidain Ivy

A Tone Meant For Me Teaser

Kaidain Ivy — Mon, 20 Jul 2020 00:00:00 -0400

Coming soon