We unpack the “Sims theory,” microwave drama, flaccid fries, and the truth about why millennials (and let’s be honest, everyone alive right now) have learned to dread the in-between. Spoiler: It might be regional anxiety, ADHD, industrialized time, or just the human condition—either way, you’re not alone if the mere prospect of “having plans” has left you immobile.

With games (“Productive or Paralysis?”), questionably scientific advice, and permission to admit that yes, checking your phone in anticipation for five straight hours really is a universal rite of passage. Embrace your mess with us.

Plus: public prank revenge plots, Taylor Swift vs. wedding drama, hygiene-challenged boyfriends, utility-demanding shower exhibitionists, and a fake Instagram stalker whose alter ego might just get them promoted.

Joined by Shaun and Carissa for maximum chaos and zero filter. Fair warning: contains explicit language, questionable advice, and way too many references to bodily functions.

Explicit Content Warning: This episode contains strong language and adult themes throughout.

Got a messy problem that needs savage solutions? Send your disasters to [submission email] – Peter's ready to roast your life choices with zero sugar-coating.

Truth is relative, humor isn’t, and our only rule: trust absolutely nothing but your own group text. New episode out now. Spiraling is optional, but highly encouraged.

Join us for a wild roast of overnight redemption arcs, viral apologies, and the art of bouncing back when you’d rather just disappear into the meme void. From regretful tweets to public clapbacks, meme fame, flaming inboxes, and those catastrophic group chats—this is your crash course in surviving the digital apocalypse, one violin meme at a time.

Will you get a redemption arc or ride out your fifteen seconds as the main character in someone else’s group chat? At least, for better or worse, you’re officially internet famous. Listen in for sharp commentary, chaotic stories, and the hope that tomorrow’s trending disaster isn’t yours.

• Gaycation drama gone wild—Ibiza-style
• Awkwardly honest relationship confessions
• Partners who pack bags (and dildos) instead of feelings
• Couples fighting over fitness, feelings, and fit partners
• Roommate meltdown stories, serial dater chaos, and scene kings keeping score
• Plus: Peter’s no-bull advice for anyone whose love life feels like a trainwreck in real time

Honest, hilarious, and sometimes straight-up savage, this is the segment where no story is too taboo and no question is safe from Peter’s trademark roast. Whether your problem is marital, mental, or just a messy group chat—Peter slices deep and doesn’t sugarcoat a damn thing.

Peter admits to his championship-level deadpan face, while Shaun breaks down the weird thrill of group chat drama and why TikTok rage-bait is impossible to resist. Whether it’s the hypnotic videos of melting metal, the doomscroll spiral, or suspiciously accurate social feeds, the guys unpack how online life turns everyday irritations into full-blown sporting events.

So lace up your emotionally-sensible sneakers and grab your favorite unnecessary snack. It’s time to laugh about why we compete to be the most exasperated person in the room—and how hilarious (and human) that actually is.

Subscribe for weekly catharsis, relatable confessions, and those hot takes you’re secretly proud of!

Perfect for: Anyone who spirals over brunch bills, drama tweets, or accidental therapy memes. Bring your wallet, check your baggage, and spiral with us—on purpose

This week, your favorite disasters dissect living authentically when robots write catchier songs than humans but they're about microwaves having existential crises. We decode the psychological mindfuck of Gen Z trends, explain why people voluntarily stopped pooping for July, and explore how a Coldplay CEO scandal proves literally everything becomes content.

Shaun bought a strawberry robot phone case that serves zero purpose except joy—making it the most honest purchase of 2025. Peter's coworker got fired because someone else quit (capitalism logic at its finest), while we're all dodging bots selling porn and life coaching in the same DM.

Between AI songs about appliance anxiety and friends posting like they personally gave birth to their sister's baby, we're unpacking why every conversation sounds like a TED talk for ghosts. Plus: the soul-crushing exhaustion of performing your life while algorithms feed you nonsense instead of human connection.

The verdict: When even Spotify is fake, buying unnecessary fruit-themed accessories might be peak authenticity. We're all chasing meaning, but the algorithm keeps serving constipation challenges.

Perfect for: Anyone who's ever yelled "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!" at their phone, people exhausted by digital performance art, and humans seeking actual humans in a bot-infested hellscape.

Contains: Trend decoding chaos, workplace absurdity, bot harassment comedy, AI music roasting, and the eternal quest for authentic connection in a world run by psychotic algorithms.

This week, the beautiful disasters tackle what happens when you stop settling for boring shit and start actually living. Carissa face-planted while waterskiing for the first time (10/10 would recommend), Peter serves family drama realness, and Shaun's making jalapeño cocktails that could send you to the ER.

We're unpacking why our generation feels guilty about choosing happiness, why Miami canceled democracy like a Netflix subscription, and how tourism protests are getting violent because some people can't behave abroad. Plus: $1,300 health insurance premiums, the housing crisis hitting the ultra-rich, and why Peter and Shaun completely forgot their 12-year anniversary until Carissa reminded them in Puerto Rico.

Bottom line: Life's too short to waterski badly, deal with toxic family, or live where elections are optional. Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is embrace the beautiful disaster.

Perfect for: Anyone dealing with family toxicity, people who think they're "too old" for new adventures, and millennials questioning literally everything.

Contains: Therapeutic ranting, waterskiing fails, relationship milestones, and discussions about why some people need to mind their own business.

Episode 30 is here and we're spiraling about July 2025—the timeline where we're googling skincare tips during actual disasters.

What we're unpacking:

• People searched "wet look lashes" 8,700% more while Ukraine got bombed (make it make sense)
• Texas floods + 109 deaths = turmeric soap searches up 3,400% (???)
• $24 billion on skincare while bridges literally collapse
• Why we're more scared of ChatGPT than fascists (priorities, people)
• CBG gummies exploded 847% because anxiety tastes better in grape flavor
• BookTok's horny escape room + VR sales through the roof
• 48% of millennials are broke but our skin is chef's kiss

Also featuring:

• A monk at the gym (2025 is weird)
• Mountain Dew predicting natural disasters
• Peter's wrinkle-induced existential crisis at 35
• Why Gen Z said "nah" to leadership roles

The thesis: We're all coping with face masks while democracy dies, and somehow that feels... normal? If you've ever felt guilty about your skincare routine during a climate disaster, welcome home.

Join Peter, Carissa, and Shaun for an hour of brutal self-awareness disguised as entertainment. We're calling out our own bullshit while actively participating in it.

Fair warning: Contains natural disasters, political anxiety, financial stress, and the uncomfortable realization that we're all just trying to survive with good skin and questionable priorities.

For anyone who's ever doom-scrolled while shopping for wellness products and felt personally attacked by their own behavior.

We’re talking about the actual heat (Puerto Rico, we love you but we’re melting), the cultural colonization we witnessed firsthand, the poop cruise documentary, and the rising trend of concerts-as-coping-mechanisms—plus how much protein it takes to not be a bitch on vacation.

Also: TikTok bans, emotional sweat stains, Sabrina Carpenter slander, and a Hot Take Lightning Round that ends with Peter winning the title of Saltiest Bitch™️.

If you’ve ever cried into an iced coffee while hate-watching The Ultimatum: Queer Love… this one's for you.

☕ Tune in, sip something cold, and stay emotionally hydrated.

🌀 Streaming now wherever podcasts are spiraling.

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From the political climate that first sparked the idea to the November election that sealed the deal, Peter and Shaun break down exactly why they're trading Massachusetts for Porto. Spoiler alert: it involves socialized medicine, safety rankings, LGBTQ+ rights, and the realization that their health insurance was almost as expensive as their mortgage.

What you'll get:

• The real reasons behind their emigration decision (beyond just "we saw the election results")
• Why Portugal made the cut (hint: Shaun's grandfather and their #7 safety ranking didn't hurt)
• The bureaucratic nightmare of visa applications and apartment hunting from 3,000 miles away
• Shaun's Portuguese language learning journey vs. Peter's... well, let's just say he's trying
• What this means for the main Apocalypse & Avocados podcast (spoiler: Carissa's still here, they're going digital)

The brutal honesty: They acknowledge this is a privilege, they've never set foot on Portuguese soil, and they're about to uproot their entire lives based on three years of research and a whole lot of hope.

Whether you're dreaming of your own international escape or just want to watch two chaotic humans fumble through the biggest decision of their lives, this minisode sets the stage for the adventure ahead. Pack your bags (digitally) – you're coming with them.

Perfect for: Anyone considering moving abroad, fans of bureaucratic chaos, or people who make life-changing decisions that sound insane but feel right in your chest.

New miniseries "Avocados Abroad" documents every step of their Portuguese adventure – from visa approvals to culture shock, language barriers to making new friends. The main podcast continues with digital recording, so buckle up for double the chaos.

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We break down:

• How TikTok turned “gaslighting” and “narcissist” into everyday insults (even if nobody knows what they mean)
• The Jonah Hill & Sarah Brady text scandal—when “boundaries” become control
• Why burnout is pandemic-level (and why crying at your desk is just Tuesday now)
• Coffee-badging, quiet quitting 2.0, and the viral #QuitTok trend—plus stories of real-life loud leavers
• Gaming addiction lawsuits and the new screen-time blame game
• How TikTok’s mental health rabbit holes are making everyone a little more anxious (and a lot more confused)
• The wildest rants, from “boundary-bombing” to productivity theater

Plus: Peter and Shaun volley through real stories, personal confessions, and the most unhinged workplace moments, all while challenging you to a 24-hour “No-Therapy-Speak” day (#SayWhatYouMean).

Carissa’s not gone—she’s just recharging. Catch up on Episodes 26 and 27 if you missed them, and get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe rethink your next “self-care boundary.”

Listen now for a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud look at how therapy-speak, burnout, and digital chaos are rewiring our reality—one viral resignation at a time.

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If you’re exhausted by broken promises, baffled by the latest social etiquette, or just need to laugh at the chaos, this episode is your permission slip to bail on perfection. Tune in for sharp humor, zero sugar-coating, and a little solidarity for anyone who’s ever been left on read.

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 Fireworks, family drama, rainbow capitalism, and an iced coffee melting in your lap—must be summer. In this chaotic and uncomfortably relatable episode, Shaun and Peter unpack the mess that is being queer in the land of backyard BBQs, disappearing Pride merch, and American exceptionalism. From glitter-covered burnout to travel horror stories and the salty politics of patriotism, this one’s for everyone dodging both literal and emotional fireworks this week.

We play a shady summer game called “BBQ or Bye-Bye,” spill listener-worthy tea on family functions gone wrong, and talk about what it really means to find freedom—whether that’s across borders or just across the yard from your uncle’s ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ lawn chair.

💥 Tune in for queer chaos, hard truths, and a few popsicle-stick-deep moments of introspection.

🔗 Don’t forget to rate, follow, and tag us in your summer spirals: @ApocalypseAndAvocados on all platforms. #QueerSummerSurvival

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If you ever ate a rice cake and called it dinner, this one’s for you.

In this episode, we dive fork-first into the chaotic world of millennial food trauma, unpacking the diet culture disasters we grew up with (SlimFast, we’re looking at you), and the glow-ups we’re embracing now. From fat-free lies to protein pancakes, we explore what “healthy” even means in 2025—especially when you're queer, burnt out, and just trying to eat something that doesn’t trigger a flashback.

Expect chaotic snack confessions, nostalgic rants, and a game of Snack or Scam that may ruin your next grocery run. Bonus: Carissa spills her no-BS take on wellness trends, food guilt, and why some “health” influencers need to be stopped.

In this episode:
🥣 Fat-free food trauma & the 100-calorie curse
💪 The queer relationship with food, body image & identity
🍬 Snacks we love, snacks that lied to us
🎮 Game: Snack or Scam? (Bone broth popsicles, anyone?)
🛑 Why wellness culture is just rebranded restriction sometimes
💚 Healing through food without the toxic vibes

Grab a snack (preferably not a kale chip), press play, and let’s digest the chaos together.

—

💬 Listener Q of the Week:
What’s a snack you were told was “bad” that you now eat proudly?

Tag us @apocalypseandavocados or drop your answer in a review.

—

🧠 TW: Diet culture, disordered eating mentions (discussed critically, not graphically).

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We get real about what it means to stay informed without losing your mind, the guilt of tuning out, and the struggle to find hope when every headline feels heavier than the last. From the politics of immigration and the realities of war to viral TikTok trends and the wild world of “wellness” hacks, nothing is off-limits. Expect honest spirals, hard questions, and a few moments of much-needed humor as we unpack how these stories shape our lives—and why talking about them matters.

If you’re ready for a conversation that challenges what you think you know, pulls no punches, and reminds you you’re not alone in the chaos, hit play. This is Apocalypse & Avocados: No comfort zones, no easy answers—just the stories that change everything.

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Welcome back to the Gag Order! In this episode, we dive into the glitter-soaked world of the Pink Bracket Queens from RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 10. Join us as we break down the runway looks, the drama, and the unforgettable performances from the first three episodes. From the jaw-dropping design challenges to the fierce lip-sync battles, Peter and I review it all with love and a pinch of shade. Remember, all commentary is in good fun as we celebrate the fabulous drag queens. Tune in and follow along with the images linked in the description!

Image board of the looks and clips we are reviewing: https://www.pinterest.com/apocalypseandavocados/the-gag-order-ep-2-image-board/

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
02:26 Drama Between Tina and Mistress
05:08 Runway Challenge: Design Reviews
17:44 Lip Sync and Points Distribution
21:33 Little Shop of Horrors Runway Looks
25:25 Transitioning North
25:38 Critiquing the Runway
28:05 Lydia's Look and Roast Performance
29:19 Tina's Fashion and Lip Sync Analysis
32:37 Point Sharing and Fairness
34:24 Wild West Runway Looks
40:37 The Butt Plug Controversy
44:39 Musical Challenge Performances
47:26 Final Thoughts and Future Episodes

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Join us for wild stories, unfiltered opinions, and a game of “Reboot, Scam, or 90s Core” that will have you questioning every trip down memory lane. If you’ve ever impulse-bought a Lisa Frank water bottle or cried at a Kool-Aid commercial, this one’s for you. Hit play, hydrate with intention, and don’t forget to share your #SippyCupSadness or #RebootRegrets with us!

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From Tokyo to Toronto, millennials are losing our collective minds—and this time, it’s not just the algorithm’s fault. In this brutally honest, chaotically comforting episode of Apocalypse & Avocados, the gang (Peter, Shaun, and Carissa) dives deep into the global mental health crisis with stats, spirals, and sarcasm.

We’re talking:

• 🌍 Why mental health isn’t just an American mess
• 💸 Financial anxiety, housing doom, and the global loneliness epidemic
• 📱 Social media as both lifeline and emotional sinkhole
• 🧃 Retail therapy, rage drives, feral cat energy, and yes... masturbation
• 🧘‍♂️ The real (and not-so-Instagrammable) coping tools that actually help

It’s part group therapy, part meme analysis, part “yell-cry into a donut while blasting sad pop”—and all painfully relatable. Whether you’re doomscrolling in Lagos, crying in a London flat, or screaming into your steering wheel in L.A., we see you. And we spiral with you.

TW: Mental health, financial stress, suicidal ideation (mentioned in context)

🎧 Grab your emotional support snacks and let’s get messy, memeable, and real—because no matter where you are, mental health is still worth talking about.

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We dive into the double standards of sexuality, the performative nature of mindfulness trends, and the fine line between empowerment and exhaustion. Also: why “What I Eat in a Day” videos should come with a trigger warning, and how body image has turned into a battleground—one we never signed up for.

Whether you’re power walking with purpose or spiraling in a matching set, this one’s for you.

Takeaways:
– Internalized misogyny thrives in “empowered” spaces.
– Social media is not a mirror—it’s a funhouse.
– Hot girl walks: healing or high-key harmful?
– Diet culture is just capitalism in leggings.
– Self-worth isn’t measured in steps, smoothies, or serotonin levels.

🧠 Chapters include:
– Competition in Fitness Culture
– Gender & Sexual Double Standards
– The ‘Hot Girl Walk’ Phenomenon
– Mindfulness, Capitalism & Diet Culture
– Living for Likes vs. Living in the Moment

So grab your water bottle labeled “Self-Worth” and walk with us—we’ve got thoughts, questions, and just a touch of rage.

If you enjoyed this episode, like, follow, subscribe, and tell your friends!

From a dry wedding where guests had to secretly pay for booze, to a vegan dinner party ambushed by meat-eaters, we’re dissecting messy social dilemmas with our signature blend of sarcasm, honesty, and deeply unsolicited advice. Along the way, we weigh in on sibling jealousy over a dress, a boyfriend’s bizarre stance on period products, and a niece who might just be too honest.

Carissa’s back this week, which means the judgments are sharper, the laughs are louder, and the moral compass is spinning like a fidget spinner in 2016. We wrap things up with a ridiculous round of "AITA or Just Socially Awkward?"—including catnapping, friendship freeloaders, and boundary-blind besties.

🎧 Listen in for:

• Brutal parenting dilemmas (kids say the worst things)
• The ethics of surprise meat
• Why generosity is a double-edged lasagna
• Sound bites like “You’re a bitch” and “You’re a catnapper”
• Zero actual legal advice—but tons of opinions

Because when it comes to the messiness of modern relationships, the real question isn't “Am I the asshole?”—it's “Where do we even begin?”

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Get ready to gag! The Gag Order is your go-to playlist for hilarious and honest reactions to RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars. Join our queer millennial hosts as they break down each episode with fashion critiques, entrance look reviews, and hot takes on your favorite drag queens.

We cover everything from runway themes and lip-sync battles to the impact of Drag Race during Pride season. Whether you’re a longtime fan or new to the werkroom, this playlist is packed with LGBTQ+ commentary, pop culture analysis, and all the charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent you can handle.

New episodes weekly

Featuring Kerri Colby, Mistress Isabel Brooks, Tina Burner & morePerfect for Drag Race fans, reality TV lovers, and the LGBTQ+ community Subscribe now and stay gagged!

Click here to watch a video of this episode.
Pinterest board with queens looks: https://pin.it/5xbWfKEe0 

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From $28 pizzas to suspiciously small bags of chips, nothing is sacred in this week's unpacking of inflation, shrinkflation, and just how many apps are secretly trying to charge you for “inner peace.” We’re talking class rage, racial profiling at checkout, girl math, bro math, gay math, and why the only thing shrinking faster than our bank accounts is the number of chicken bites at Domino’s.

This one’s for the tired, broke, and delusionally hopeful. If you’ve ever screamed internally at a grocery store or considered bartering your soul for decent internet speeds, this one’s for you.

🔪 May your budget survive the week, and your iced coffee be strong enough to fight capitalism.

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Pack your glitter passport and emotional support fan—this week on Apocalypse & Avocados, we’re boarding a rainbow rocket to explore Pride around the world. From the riotous roots of Stonewall to the boat parades of Amsterdam and yodeling queens in Switzerland, we’re diving deep into how LGBTQ+ communities celebrate, resist, and sparkle across the globe.

Joined by special guest (and notorious mic-thief) Martin, we trace the evolution of Pride from protest to pop culture, unravel the symbolism behind LGBTQ+ flags, and highlight the joy, weirdness, and resilience baked into Pride traditions worldwide. Yes, we’ve got trivia. Yes, we’ve got hot takes. And yes—there’s a time and place for a thong, and we’re gonna talk about it.

Whether you're a Pride veteran, a curious ally, or someone who just really loves flags and fabulous people, this episode is your official invite to the global queer party.

🎤 In this episode, we cover:

• Why Pride started and why it still matters
• The original 1978 Pride flag and what each color means
• Iconic and obscure Pride traditions (snowbanks! dog drag shows! samba queens!)
• The double identity of Pride as both protest and celebration
• How lesbians played a vital role during the AIDS epidemic
• LGBTQ+ representation in pop culture—from Drag Race to international activism
• How to show up respectfully and joyfully to Pride events

📍Chapters include:

• Pride History & Global Celebrations
• The Power of Symbols and Flags
• Quirks, Kinks, and Cultural Curiosities
• Activism, Advocacy & International Progress
• Pride in Pop Culture & What the Future Holds

💬 Notable quotes:

🎧 Keywords: Pride, LGBTQ+, celebrations, history, culture, flags, symbols, pop culture, community, activism

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This week, Shaun, Peter, and Carissa are serving up a mess of work horror stories, family legends, and vacation chaos—plus a glitter-drenched preview of Pride season. From greasy bosses and group chat drama to ferry rides from hell and poolside confessions, we’re sharing our most unhinged summer stories (and a few we probably shouldn’t).

Get ready for rants, laughs, and a little too much honesty as we spiral our way into the hottest, weirdest months of the year. Grab your sunscreen, your emotional support water bottle, and your best Pride outfit—it’s about to get messy.

Hit play, share with your favorite doomscroller, and don’t forget to subscribe for more unapologetic chaos every week!

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Join Peter and the crew as they unpack the real talk behind being everyone’s emotional support human, why setting boundaries is harder than keeping a succulent alive, and what happens when friendship turns into free therapy. Whether you’re here for the laughs, the life lessons, or the millennial coping mechanisms, this episode is your permission slip to say “nope” and reclaim your peace.

Tap play, share with your favorite doomscroller, and don’t forget to subscribe for more unapologetically honest conversations every week.

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Expect a messy, millennial, queer-coded journey through content creation, gender identity, viral nonsense, and why humor might just be our last defense in a world that feels like it’s running on vibes and iced coffee.

🔊 Tune in for unhinged takes, surprising depth, and the kind of conversations you scream “YES, EXACTLY” at in your car.

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