The gals want to wish Pisces the happiest of birthdays. And they suspect this group might include Susan Miller! Susan famously (and repeatedly) says that she never reveals her age or her sign, but Laura and Alex think they’ve gotten to the bottom of her secrets.

The episode starts with a discussion of Susan’s note to her readers. After last month’s dramatic health updates, the March note sticks to an astrological recap and a thorough review of the Business Woman portfolio. Laura and Alex also review some of Susan’s latest social media posts and bemoan their inability to find a romantic castle at the last minute.

Next is a recap of the Pisces forecast, and even Laura, a Taurus whose sign is always the most favored by Susan, has to admit that Pisces babies are the golden children this March. The horoscope is extremely positive, and Susan leaves no stone unturned when she explains the planets and their activities to Pisces this month. There’s even an appearance by Susan Miller: Financial Planner, who gives practical advice on how to maintain a good credit score.

Alex then tells Scorpio about March, which Susan describes as a fragrant bouquet. The planets are partying (the moon even shows up in a glamorous satin dress!) in the house of true love so watch out for a fleet of cupids, who might show up unexpectedly to zing you! Susan feels this is a good thing, but the gals aren’t so sure.

Laura ends the episode with a breakdown of the Taurus forecast. Evidently March is a time to cut loose and have fun. Susan orders Taurus to mix and mingle, while also taking care of their health, which could be in jeopardy toward the end of the month. Wise words from a woman who just had Covid!

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:

Note from Susan Miller: 2:34

Pisces: 19:50

Scorpio: 34:21

Taurus: 46:50

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

1. Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
2. Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Susan Miller didn’t publish the forecasts until more than one third of this short month had passed, but that does not detract from the excitement that the planets are out there doing things to make February incredible for all.

Laura and Alex begin the episode with a recap of Susan’s note to her readers. In this month’s note, Susan explains why the forecasts were posted so late, which serves as both a health update and a real estate update. Susan is also forced to include some astrological predictions here because the planets are extremely busy with eclipses, retrogrades, and moons galore this February.

Next up is Susan’s glowing horoscope for Aquarius. Saturn and Uranus have teamed up to make sure Aquarius has a positive birthday full of forward movement. And although Saturn is tough and could force Aquarius to earn a cosmic MBA this month, he may also bring prizes!

The gals then take some time to discuss the current events. Susan Miller doesn’t love to talk about the goings-on of the world, but the gals can’t resist a conversation about the arrest of Prince Andrew, an Aquarian who saw Susan’s predictions come true with his recent arrest.

Laura then lets Taurus know all about February. Unsurprisingly, since Taurus is the astrological favorite, the forecast is spectacular. And if there was any doubt that the beautiful Taureans are Susan’s chosen people, she reveals that not only will Taurus have a lovely Valentine's Day, but they’ll have another day in early March that’s so wonderful for love that it's like their own personal Taurus Valentine’s Day two weeks later.

Finally Alex tells her fellow Scorps that they have the possibility of realizing a personal dream this month! She also tries to make sense of an inscrutable note she put in her calendar related to one of Susan’s predictions about love.

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps:

Note from Susan Miller: 2:45

Aquarius: 7:01

Taurus: 20:01

Scorpio: 33:23

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

1. Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
2. Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Happy New Year! And welcome to season 6 of the podcast! This month’s forecast is so good that Susan Miller wants absolutely everyone to know. It’s safe to say that Susan is obsessed with January. 

After a short discussion about the passage of time, Laura and Alex begin the episode with a recap of Susan’s January note to her readers. Susan opens with a short description of the spectacular month ahead and a brief health update, but spends most of the note in full Business Woman mode. The gals have never been more convinced that Susan receives kickbacks from Big Fedex. 

First up is a discussion of Capricorn’s forecast, which could not be better. In fact, Laura and Alex can’t remember reading such a positive outlook for any sign in years. The planets have partnered up to make sure that the Caps have a birthday to remember. And at the risk of hyperbole, the January 18 new moon should prove to be the greatest thing to happen to anyone ever. 

Laura then tells her Tauruses about the January horoscope, which is almost as good as the forecast for Capricorn. As always, everything is going great in the tenth house of honors, awards, and achievements. And Laura is very happy to report Susan used one of her greatest turns of phrase to describe Taurus during the February 1 full moon: luckier than a leprechaun! 

Lastly Alex recaps this month’s forecast for Scorpio. It seems that the planets have never gotten along so well, which will lead to a new moon so incredible that, according to Susan, astrologers have been calling each other to marvel at how wonderful it is. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 3:00

Capricorn: 11:00

Taurus: 18:50

Scorpio: 24:12

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Susan Miller is back after a successful kidney surgery to say that things are looking up for the end of the year! The horoscopes are short, but they’re positive, and after a year of meh forecasts, that’s what matters. 

The gals begin the episode by acknowledging that December 2025 is the 30th anniversary of Astrology Zone! That’s right, 30 years ago Susan Miller created a website that would mark the beginning of the astrological internet. The celebrations are on hold while Susan handles her medical issues, but the gals can’t wait to see what she has planned to honor this momentous achievement. 

Next up Laura and Alex have a conversation whose topic was suggested by a listener! During last month’s episode, Alex’s dad noticed that Susan asked for prayers from her listeners for her surgery, which led him to wonder about the relationship between astrology and religion. The gals share his findings and talk about what they think about this keen observation from a very thoughtful Scorpio! 

A discussion of Susan’s note to her readers follows and there’s a lot to cover. It’s December, which means that the Astrology Zone calendar is ready to be shipped (via FedEx, ideally). As always, Susan gives us a detailed description of the calendar and its production process, but there’s a bonus this year! To show that her calendar is produced entirely across the United States, Susan supplies the names and locations of everyone who works on it. Laura and Alex are absolutely thrilled to have so much new information about the inner workings of the Astrology Zone empire. 

Finally, the gals tell Sagittarius they have a wonderful birthday month ahead that includes romance and buckets of money! Laura then informs Taurus about the countless dazzling golden triangles that will result in an incredible December, and Alex tells her Scorps that they should consider going into the luxury goods business. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Listener Topic: 07:40

Note from Susan Miller: 16:01

Sagittarius: 27:30

Taurus: 33:35

Scorpio: 40:32

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to WAX CHATTY wherever you get your podcasts: https://waxchatty.buzzsprout.com/ 

The gals are happy to report that November isn’t nearly as terrifying as Susan Miller predicted it would be in her October horoscopes. Phew! 

Speaking of Susan’s delivery of the forecasts, an unexpected event occurred this month: the horoscopes were posted early! Laura and Alex begin the episode by discussing this unprecedented occurrence. This leads into a review of Susan’s note to her readers, where we learn why she was able to post the horoscopes in such a timely manner. You guessed it! It’s time for a Susan Miller health update. 

A recap of the horoscopes is up next, but there’s not a lot to report, due to Susan’s aforementioned health issue. However, Alex begins by telling her Scorps all about their birthday month. There’s an emphasis on money and partnerships, and Scorpio should circle November 16 on the calendar, which could prove to be an incredible day. 

Next Laura lets Taurus know what to expect this month (and for some reason also in June 2026 because Susan felt the need to include this in her very brief November 2025 forecast). Apparently Taurus will face both a riddle and a challenge this month! It’s not entirely clear what that means. As always, Susan Miller leaves us with far more questions than answers. 

The episode ends with the gals looking toward December, which is the 30th anniversary of Astrology Zone! Also known as the moment when Susan invented the astrological internet. It’s definitely a moment to celebrate, and Laura and Alex are ready to participate in a television special that highlights Susan’s trailblazing contributions to the field and to the world! 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 6:19

Scorpio: 16:14

Taurus: 23:00

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Well, sort of. Susan Miller is so focused on the terror that awaits all of us this November that she doesn’t devote nearly enough of her forecast this month to October and Libra season. So Laura and Alex want to wish the Libras an especially happy birthday since Susan doesn’t seem equipped to do so at this moment. 

The episode begins with an update from Laura in Hawaii. She has been tracking the activity of a local volcano, the explosive vibes of which turn out to be in line with Susan’s forecasts this month. Laura also reveals that she was granted access to Susan’s Discord by a friend and noticed a number of posts from someone the gals dub Maybe-Valerie, the possible successor to Not-Courtney. 

The gals then turn to Susan’s note to her readers. Let’s just say that Susan did not enjoy September 2025. She gives an update on her apartment woes and on her most recent Susan Miller Business Woman initiative, which sadly was the victim of eclipse season! That’s right–the Fireside Chat Network was eclipsed out. Laura and Alex report on the entire debacle, which includes detailed instructions from Susan Miller Customer Service Representative on how subscribers can request a refund. 

Next up is a discussion of the horoscopes. The gals believe that Susan’s terrible September influenced her writing this month because her predictions are A LOT. And not in a positive way. In all the October forecasts that the gals read, Susan feels compelled to focus on November, a month that evidently no one will enjoy and will be lucky to get out of alive. 

Laura and Alex tell Libra what to expect in October, but mostly what to expect in November. Then Laura informs Taurus that while Jupiter is on their side, they must accomplish everything in October before the terror of November hits, and Alex warns Scorpio about the awful birthday month that awaits them. The episode ends with Laura’s attempts to make everyone feel better after such traumatic horoscopes. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 07:45

Libra: 17:46

Taurus: 25:48

Scorpio: 34:08

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Susan Miller declares that you are the star of the zodiac this month, so get ready to shine! 

After a somewhat professional countdown to air, Laura and Alex start the episode with a special embezzlement update, also known as the time when they discuss whether Susan made any accurate predictions the month before. And it turns out that the whole world was embezzled because Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce announced their engagement on what Susan forecasted as the flirtiest day of the year. Great job, Susan! 

Next up the gals recap Susan’s note to her readers, which is all about the upcoming eclipses in Virgo and Pisces. These eclipses are mostly positive, so of course Susan can’t resist reminding her readers about the chaotic and life-ruining eclipses that Scorpio and Taurus brought into the world a few years ago. Laura and Alex kindly request that Susan cool it on the Taurus/Scorp slander! The second half of the note is dedicated to Susan’s new show on the Fireside Chat platform, so there is much to learn from Susan Miller Business Woman and Susan Miller Tech Support. 

Then it’s time for Virgo’s positive birthday horoscope. There are a number of exciting things in Virgo’s chart this month, but unfortunately the forecast is mostly a repurposed version of Susan’s essay on eclipses. 

Finally the gals tell Scorpio and Taurus what to expect this September. Alex informs her Scorps that a party full of smiling people is a possibility, and Laura tells Taurus to stop waffling because decisions must (and will!) be made. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 4:00

Virgo: 12:58

Scorpio: 24:58

Taurus: 34:53

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Susan Miller has a lot to say this August, although most of it is about her newest Business Woman initiative. 

After a brief chat about AI and sparkly shoes, the gals jump right into a discussion of Susan’s note to her readers, where the exciting collaboration that was teased in July is revealed! Laura and Alex made a number of guesses last month about what this new venture could be, and it should come as no surprise that these two Susan experts basically nailed it. 

The episode continues with a big birthday wish for Leo! Although Susan didn’t devote any words to Leo (or astrology at all) in her note because she was too busy with business, she makes up for it here with the promise of a marvelous month full of productivity and planets doing stuff. And get ready to be zinged by fleets of Cupids at the end of the month, Leo! 

Next up Laura gives a recap of Taurus’s August forecast. As usual, Susan believes that Taurus is the celestial favorite whose month will be filled with fame and fortune. Then, after an awkward plug for her app, Susan tells Taurus to circle August 26 on the calendar because it’s a romantic day made for flirting! Alex then reveals that this month’s outlook isn’t great for Scopio, but that conditions will improve at the end of September. The Scorps should also look out for money that comes not from their salary, but from the very long list of sources that Susan provides. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 07:10

Leo: 18:40

Taurus: 26:32

Scorpio: 34:19

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Laura and Alex are back from a short summer break to tell Cancer about the incredible birthday month that awaits them. And it’s good news for everyone this July, although all of the signs should try to get things together in the first half of July because Mercury retrograde will cause the usual trouble later in the month. 

The gals dive immediately into Susan’s note to her readers, in which Susan devotes far too many words to the distribution of her calendar. Luckily, in her final paragraph, Susan provides a juicy teaser for an initiative she will announce in August, so Laura and Alex give their best guesses as to what she might be planning.  

Next up is Cancer’s forecast. The gals are surprised to learn that Cancer is in the middle of its Emerald Year! Although after page upon page of wonderful predictions from Susan, it’s less of a surprise. The planets are doing things and Cancer is benefitting! On top of that, Cancers receive the ultimate birthday present from Susan Miller: a personal story in their horoscope that involves a prophetic dream and foiled grand larceny. 

The episode continues with Laura’s recap of the Taurus forecast, which includes the promise of career growth, money, and the start of a new chapter. Laura also explains that she’s aligning with the stars this month due to multiple pre-embezzlements (translation: Susan made predictions for July that are in keeping with activities Laura had already planned). Alex ends the episode with a discussion of the Scorpio horoscope. Get ready for the July new moon, Scorps, when glittering beams could result in career success. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 1:26

Cancer: 12:13

Taurus: 20:23

Scorpio: 29:21

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Which means that it’s birthday time for Laura, the pod’s very own magnificent Taurus! As usual, Taurus is the celestial favorite (or maybe just Susan’s favorite). In fact, all of the signs have wonderful things awaiting them if they can just make it to the flawless new moon on May 26. 

Laura begins the episode by telling Alex that she gave herself a birthday present, and it’s none other than Susan’s premium app! It only took almost twenty years, but one of the gals finally bought something from Susan Miller Business Woman. Stay tuned to find out if the premium app changes Laura’s life. 

Next the gals recap Susan’s Note, which contains far too much astrology and not nearly enough personal updates. Susan also explains that she didn’t write her famous Year Ahead this year; apparently the first half of 2025 was so terrible that she feared the book would be too much of a bummer. Based on Susan’s history of not delivering this book in a timely fashion, Laura and Alex suspect there may have been other reasons she didn’t write it. 

The horoscopes are up next. Laura begins by telling her fellow Taurus babies that fighting planets will make things tricky at the start of May, but they should get excited for the stunning new moon at the end of the month. This new moon is so incredible that Susan can’t even find the words to describe how amazing life will be after May 26 (although of course she tries!). Alex then tells Scorpio that their struggles are coming to end and to look out for money that could be coming their way through any number of channels. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 12:18

Taurus: 20:27

Scorpio: 31:29

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

And Susan Miller says you can expect good news throughout your birthday month! However, you may want to put on your beekeeper suit just to be safe because everyone should be ready to enter the prickly briar patch and weather cosmic storms.

Laura and Alex begin with a recap of Susan’s Note, and it is all business: astrology business and Susan Miller business. There are so many planets changing signs right now that Susan cannot get distracted by tales of her health or apartment rental but instead must focus on the stars. Of course, though, there’s always time for a little discounted calendar plug. 

Next the gals wish Aries a very happy birthday! Neptune is in Aries for the first time since 1861, and it is a BIG DEAL. All of this planetary commotion and activity means good things for Aries. Just don’t get fooled by Neptune’s veil, which can lead to obfuscation and confusion. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, Aries! 

Then Laura tells Taurus that April is a great time of review and reflection before all of the planets that have been retrograding regain their full strength and things really get going in May. Also, Taurus should be aware that Pluto and Mars are bickering, which could lead to problems. Let’s just say that Susan has an interesting idea for how to deal with this. Finally, Alex tells Scorpio to keep their schedules light during April. And she passes on Susan’s repeated warning that they must take care of their health!  

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 2:30

Aries: 6:10

Taurus: 23:25

Scorpio: 33:20

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

This month is absolutely full of planets planeting. There are retrogrades, eclipses, trines, sextiles, and anything else one might want (or not want) from the universe. 

The episode begins with a recap of Laura and Alex’s Valentine’s Day. The gals listened closely last month when Susan Miller warned that the day could be trouble, but they planned a festive night filled with Dolly Parton and a prix fixe menu anyway. And going with the planetary flow, as Susan suggested, paid off! 

Next Laura describes how she was “embezzled” last month (translation: Susan got something right). Susan accurately predicted that Taurus would take a short trip and meet interesting people, and Laura did just that! A true embezzlement success. Then it’s time to discuss Susan’s Note, which includes the recommendation of two books that appear to have nothing to do with astrology. Susan’s collaborations are often a mystery, but the gals have some theories.  

Then it’s time for the horoscopes. Laura and Alex let Pisces know about the many planets that have gathered for their birthday. With this crowd of heavenly bodies in their orbit, Pisces are simply too blessed to be stressed. Alex then tells the Scorps that they’ll need to wait a little longer before things really get going this year, and she introduces the listeners to Susan Miller Career Coach. Finally, Laura tells Taurus that they are the darlings of the cosmos (yet again!) and can expect lots of attention from VIPs and money, money, money. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update: 5:27

Note from Susan Miller: 7:39

Pisces: 21:43

Scorpio: 34:43

Taurus: 50:09

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

We made it to February, a month with two new moons (sort of) and a challenging full moon. For better or worse, all the signs are in it together this month, and Susan Miller is here to advise on how to wrestle the full moon dragons to the ground. 

The gals kick off the episode with the Embezzlement Update. Were any of Susan’s predictions in January accurate? Fortunately for Laura, they were, and she shares all about her latest book, which has garnered the attention of VIPs. Then Laura and Alex implore Susan (yet again!) to produce some lowbrow merch, which they would love to buy, despite the fact that neither of them wants to pay the few extra dollars for Astrology Zone’s premium app. 

The episode continues with a discussion of the Note, which is surprisingly full of astrology. Also included this month is a transcript from Susan’s hectic life, which Laura and Alex perform as a dramatic reading. Through this vignette, we learn about Valerie, the never-before-mentioned assistant! (Call us, Val, if we can help with the merch. We have ideas!) 

Next the gals recap the horoscopes. Unfortunately, because the difficult full moon appears so close to Valentine’s Day, Susan recommends putting off all festivities and celebrating later in the month. More positively, Laura and Alex tell Aquarius about all the fun activities that the planets are doing in their honor. Finally, they fill Taurus and Scorpio in on what to expect this February. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update: 01:45

Note from Susan Miller: 11:32

Aquarius: 24:55

Taurus: 35:36

Scorpio: 43:25

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

And Happy New Year! Laura and Alex are back for the fifth year of the podcast after dutifully following Susan Miller’s instructions in January 2021 to create a show. Little did Susan know that it would be all about her! 

The episode begins with the Embezzlement Update: Laura tells the listeners about her exciting embezzlement (translation: Susan correctly predicted something last month), which took the form of a visit to a volcano while she was home for the holidays. Next up is Susan’s Note and it’s a doozy. The gals share Susan’s explanation for posting the horoscopes late this month, which sadly includes both accident and illness. Fortunately Susan is still able to tell us about her upcoming appearances and where to buy her calendar, which leads Laura and Alex to hatch a plan that could circumvent shipping charges for all. 

Next the gals dive into January’s horoscopes. All of the signs will experience a slow start to the year due to Mars retrograde. Susan tells Capricorn to focus on themselves this month and to get some work done on a creative project, such as a podcast! Then Alex tells Scorpio that this month is all about career. Susan even issues a stern warning to them about when they must not go on vacation, lest they be distracted from career success. Finally, Laura informs Taurus about the absolutely glorious new moon that arrives at the end of January and provides a very important Cupid Weather Alert. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update: 2:43

Note from Susan Miller: 11:28

Capricorn: 20:47

Scorpio: 29:05

Taurus: 36:15

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Despite multiple planets retrograding this December, Sagittarius should have a wonderful birthday month. They can even expect some international travel! Or at the very least, some international FedEx shipments. 

This month, the gals have embezzlement updates to share, as well as a hot take from a commenter on social media. And there’s a lot of information in Susan’s Note to her readers, including her holiday plans, recent illnesses, and descriptions of many upcoming appearances. If any listeners in New York belong to Zero Bond, please invite us to Susan’s event! Or if anyone attended her most recent Discord AMA and learned what an astrological emergency is, the gals would appreciate that information, as well. 

Then Laura and Alex break down the December horoscopes, beginning with this month’s birthday sign, Sagittarius. Unfortunately, both Mercury and Mars are retrograding this month, so be prepared for things to move slowly. Venus will retrograde, too, so don’t even think about getting Botox until that’s over. Next Laura shares that Taurus may have the opportunity to travel this month or perhaps to participate in the import/export of ideas! And Alex tells Scorpio that VIPs will notice their work this month, which could result in a promotion or bonus. 

Finally, the gals want to thank everyone for listening this year! See you in 2025! 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 09:38

Embezzlement Update/Hot Take: 03:48

Sagittarius: 24:30

Taurus: 36:00

Scorpio: 42:45

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Enjoy November, Scorps! In a special twist, there are two full moons this month and Susan Miller believes that Scorpio will enjoy both of them. 

Laura kicks off this episode with a tale of finding treasure in the wild. In this case, the treasure is the 2025 Astrology Zone calendar and the wild is a boutique in Cold Spring, NY! The gals then have a discussion about Susan’s election-related content. Despite the fact that Susan tends not to make predictions about current events (and she made no exception for the election), there is plenty to chat about regardless. 

Next Laura and Alex recap Susan’s Note to her readers, in which Susan explains why the horoscopes were late: she went to China! Despite Susan explaining otherwise, the forecasts this month are a bit abbreviated, but that’s the trade-off for being introduced to Susan Miller Traveler. And while the trip did delay the horoscopes, there is, of course, more to the story, including a respiratory illness and even more stress related to her move. 

Alex then tells her fellow Scorpios what they can expect during their birthday month, such as money and the adoration of VIPs! The Scorps should also watch out for strange behavior from their partners, be they spouses, colleagues, or, as Laura surmises, Parcheesi partners. Laura then fills Taurus in on everything they need to know for November. They too must keep an eye on their partners and should consider doing their holiday shopping early to avoid complications caused by the many planets that are about to retrograde. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 8:37

Scorpio: 20:19

Taurus: 32:50

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

According to Susan Miller, October is going to be a great month for Libra. So get out there, rack up some achievements, and be a money magnet before a bunch of planets retrograde. For better or worse, the planets are planeting big time right now. 

The episode starts with a discussion of Wordle strategies and Laura’s recent travels. But there’s no time to waste on chit chat, because Susan has written yet another Note that details her move and all of her related feelings on the subject. Suffice it to say, Susan is struggling with the emotions that the move has brought up. However, she also tells us that there is asbestos in her apartment, so a temporary relocation may not be the worst thing, especially considering Susan’s fragile health. 

Next up, Laura and Alex recap the horoscopes. A golden triangle appears in the first half of this month and its position in Libra’s chart could mean career advancement. But watch out for planetary food fights! Laura then explains to Taurus that the October full moon may bring out secrets. Taureans must also pay attention to their physical health this month and potentially begin psychotherapy. Finally, Alex recaps the Scorpio forecast and shares the very important message from Susan that October 2024 is going to be a cutthroat year for Halloween costume competitions. So if you’re attending a party, Scorps, step up your game! 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 6:30

Libra: 13:33

Taurus: 24:30

Scorpio: 32:50

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

It’s eclipse season again, but don’t worry, Virgo, because there are positive birthday vibes and good surprises coming your way! 

The gals begin the episode by reminiscing about when they met Susan Miller on the streets of New York three years ago. What a time! Neither Laura nor Alex have any embezzlement to report (translation: Susan didn’t make any predictions for them last month that panned out), so they dive immediately into September’s Note, where they learn that the 2025 Astrology Zone calendar is ready! Susan also gives her readers an update on the trials and tribulations related to her recent flood and subsequent relocation. 

Then it’s time for the horoscopes. There’s a lot to cover because, for better or worse, eclipse season is upon us. Susan is quick to warn us that if we don’t deal with our issues and make decisions that the eclipse will make them for us! Laura and Alex begin with Virgo’s forecast, which unfortunately seems like a mixed bag. But hang on for the second half of the month, Virgo, and you’ll see some sparkling 4-star days. Laura then explains the effects that the eclipses will have on Taurus and about all of the wonderful planetary golden triangles that will bring them good fortune. And Alex tells Scorpio that September is a time to have fun, even though last month Susan seemed certain that the Scorps were embarking upon eighteen months of sadness. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller:  7:39

Virgo: 14:32

Taurus: 24:16

Scorpio: 38:33

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

You have a lot going your way this month, Leo! Susan Miller is adamant that you make a birthday wish. Fortunately you have plenty of time to contemplate your desires because this directive was published with the horoscopes on August 1!   

The episode begins with a chilling story of cybercrime, as Laura recounts how she was almost scammed into buying counterfeit Taylor Swift tickets. Happily, her great knowledge of the teachings of Astrology Zone came to the rescue! Laura also shares her Embezzlement Update, where we learn that Susan got something right. 

The gals then get started on the horoscope recaps. It seems like all the signs will experience a peach of a new moon this month, but a troublesome full moon. Leo should mix and mingle and enjoy their birthday gift from the universe. And Susan herself gives Leo a birthday present by including a rather long story about her pregnancies in their forecast. Alex then tells her Scorps the good news first: exciting career opportunities and cold coins could be coming their way. But the bad news is that the loneliness they are experiencing now might not end for eighteen months. And Laura informs her Taursuses that August is a time to slow down, focus on home, and perhaps do some casual entertaining. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update: 4:24

Note from Susan Miller:  9:17

Leo:  15:23

Scorpio: 26:24

Taurus: 38:33

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

You’ve got a great birthday month ahead of you, so make the most of it before mischievous scamp Mercury retrogrades and ruins the fun. 

The gals start this episode with a catch-up that includes Laura’s mastering of international relations and fun facts related to tennis. But the star of Susan Miller’s content this July is her note to her readers, so there is a lot of Susan info for Laura and Alex to cover. To begin, her apartment flooded, so we learn all about how she was forced to evacuate her apartment and enter the overwhelming world of New York real estate. Then, as is Susan’s way, she came down with a mysterious illness. This somehow transitions to a detailed description of the Astrology Zone calendar’s editorial process, in which we learn the names of everyone who works for Susan. 

The gals then tell Cancer about the cheerful peach of a New Moon that they’re getting for their birthday. This July, Susan orders Cancer to socialize, and not just in honor of birthday month, but to get ahead in business. Get out there, Cancer, and make those professional contacts! Laura then explains to her Tauruses that they must expand the borders of their worlds, which could possibly include the import/export of ideas! And Alex recommends that the Scorps be as productive as possible before Merc retro hits in August. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller:  7:32

Cancer:  29:00

Taurus: 37:07

Scorpio: 43:04

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

In your honor, Susan posted her horoscopes on the first day of the month. She couldn’t wait to inform you that it’s the start of your Emerald Year! Get ready for a bountiful harvest (and many more gardening metaphors). 

The episode starts with a discussion of 2024’s Luckiest Day of the Year. Laura and Alex love a good Embezzlement Update, but it pales in comparison to the unprecedented event that occurred in the Astrology Zone universe this month. Due to illness, Susan was unable to write her monthly note to her readers. If that weren’t shocking enough, her editor-in-chief, one Edward Rubinstein, wrote the note on her behalf! Suffice it to say that the gals have a lot of thoughts on this shocking twist. 

Alex then talks all about Susan’s forecast for Scorpio, which is chock full of practical advice. Don’t doubt your ability to manage money, Scorpio! Susan believes in you. Or at least she believes that you can ask a friend to recommend a good financial advisor. The episode finishes with Laura’s recap of Taurus’s forecast. Taurus may have passed the Emerald Year torch to Gemini, but wonderful things are still on the horizon, including money, travel, and wildflowers. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update: 08:33

Note from Susan Miller: 12:55

Gemini: 19:01

Scorpio: 29:18

Taurus: 40:38

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

It’s Taurus season, which is a very special time at the pod because that means it’s Laura’s birthday!!! The universe is obsessed with you, Taurus, so be on the lookout for money, extra luck, and the adoration of VIPs. 

Laura and Alex begin the episode with the Embezzlement Update so they can check in to see if either of them experienced the joyous aspect that Susan predicted in April. They did not, but Laura shares her tips picking up a few extra dollars in Vegas. They then recap Susan’s Note, in which she covers astrology, a flood in her apartment, and an elusive Astrology Zone newsletter that the gals hope to receive one day when Susan’s team fixes the sign-up page.  

Next Laura breaks down Taurus’s magical birthday horoscope. Or as she’s calling it this month: the Laurascope! Susan promises that diamonds will rain down from the sky and a crowd of planets will sip champagne in your honor. And not only is May’s new moon a peach, but this month contains the Luckiest Day of the Year (capitalization by Susan), and Laura tells Taurus how to use this day to its fullest potential. Alex then informs her Scorps that May is all about committed partnerships, so they must ignore their loner tendencies and get out in the world and collaborate. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update:  3:50

Note from Susan Miller:  7:50

Taurus: 17:20

Scorpio: 33:19

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Happy birthday, Aries! It’s your time to shine and apparently to attract lots of money. So keep your eyes peeled and your wallets open this April because Susan Miller has declared you a money magnet!

There’s a lot going on in the world, so Laura and Alex begin the episode by catching up on the recent earthquake in New York and the excitement surrounding the Great American Eclipse. (The gals learned recently this is its real name and not something that Susan made up, as they suspected. But doesn’t it sound like a Susan special?!) The Embezzlement Update is up next, and boy, was Laura embezzled!!! She shares all the details of Susan’s incredible on-the-nose prediction from her March horoscope.

Susan Miller Businesswoman and Susan Miller Eclipse Expert share top billing in this month’s Note, so Susan has no choice but to tell us yet again about her essay on eclipses and how we can access it through her paid app. After a recap of Susan’s plans for April, Laura tells Taurus that the eclipse may result in happy surprises and an exciting social calendar, while Alex assures the Scorps that they are not doomed. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update:  05:36

Note from Susan Miller:  09:17

Aries: 16:59

Taurus: 28:48

Scorpio: 38:39

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Support The Pop Art Tarot on Kickstarter! poparttarot.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

Susan Miller may not have written you the lengthiest forecast this year, Pisces, but it is full of exciting predictions that should ensure a festive birthday season. She lists approximately five hundred ways that money may come into your life this month (cue Laura’s pharmaceutical spokesperson voice), so there’s a good chance that your birthday present will be cold hard cash! 

After a quick catch-up and an update on Susan’s posting habits, Laura explains during the Embezzlement Update that she may have been embezzled, but it’s just too early to tell. Next the gals break down Susan’s note to her readers. It’s eclipse season, but fear not! The 2024 eclipses will not be like the cruel, life-ruining eclipses of Taurus and Scorpio in 2023, and Susan takes every opportunity to invoke the trauma that Laura’s and Alex’s signs caused the world last year. The gals do not care for this guilt trip. 

Next, Laura gives an update on Taurus’s Emerald Year and details all of the wonderful predictions for Taureans this March. There will be glitter, adoration, and maybe even the ability to literally heal yourself! Alex then tells the Scorps that March is all about romance. But beware Neptune’s idealistic fog! It could send your love-addled brain right to the Elvis chapel in Las Vegas and Susan believes this might not be prudent. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update:  02:59

Note from Susan Miller:  07:14

Pisces: 14:06

Taurus: 24:33

Scorpio: 34:02

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

Laura and Alex are always happy to find themselves in the Age of Aquarius, and this year is no exception. So happy birthday to the Aquarians of the world! It’s time to use your cosmic gift certificate.

The episode begins with discussion of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce (a.k.a. Venus and Mars!) followed by the Embezzlement Update, the pod’s newest segment, where the gals discuss which of Susan’s predictions last month came true. Then it’s time to deconstruct Susan’s February note to her readers. Susan Miller Business Woman takes center stage, although also included is an astrological prediction that applies to all the signs this month: Uranus is going to be a real pain the butt. 

And, of course, Susan wouldn’t be Susan if she didn’t provide the signs with predictions and practical advice for Valentine’s Day. The gals let Aquarius know what to expect on February 14 and for the rest of their birthday month, and Alex informs her fellow Scorps that they need to hang on for better times in March. Taurus, on the other hand, is bejeweled! Laura gives everyone an update on Taurus’s Emerald Year and the shimmering glitter that Venus and Mars will bestow upon them. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update:  07:29

Note from Susan Miller:  09:58

Aquarius: 16:38

Scorpio: 23:33

Taurus: 34:52

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

Welcome to Season 4! Laura and Alex are excited to jump into the new year. As is Susan Miller, who started 2024 off right by posting the horoscopes on the first day of the month!

The gals start the episode with a chat about the holidays that segues into the show’s newest segment, the Embezzlement Update, where they report which, if any, of Susan’s predictions (embezzlement-related or otherwise) in last month’s horoscope were accurate. 

Then Laura and Alex turn to Susan’s note to her readers, where they learn that Susan unfortunately got Covid for the first time this past December. Less unfortunate for her readers, though, is that this signals the return of Susan Miller Epidemiologist, who has been away for far too long. In addition to more health news, Susan includes quite a bit of astrology in the Note, telling her readers what she expects for all the signs in January. We also hear from Susan Miller Businesswoman and are introduced to Susan Miller Historian!

Next the gals give a summary of Capricorn’s birthday forecast, which although brief, contains exciting predictions about love and money. Then Laura details what’s in store for Taurus. And what’s in store could be money, influence, and power! Or if that’s too much for the tired Taurus,  Laura assures the listeners that manifesting naps will do just fine. Then Alex tells the Scorps to be ready this January to hire a lawyer, produce a television segment, and, most excitingly, to judge a contest.

The takeaway for everyone seems to be: take action, leave the house, and plant acorns that will grow into beautiful oak trees!

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update: 03:14

Note from Susan Miller: 07:41

Capricorn: 18:32

Taurus: 23:42

Scorpio: 29:21

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

Because it’s your birthday month and because Susan Miller is back! Just in time to tell us all what December holds. Her eyesight isn’t perfect, but it’s good enough that she was able to write the detailed horoscopes we expect and to tell us to buy her wall calendar and sign up for Discord. So all told, things have returned to normal. 

The episode begins with Laura and Alex recounting the magical adventure they had together attending the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. There’s a lot more to the story but let’s just say that Alex walked away from the experience with the desire to be a Rockette, and Laura to be Santa’s mistress. The gals then follow up on one of Susan’s more unpleasant predictions from last month by asking each other: Were you embezzled?!

Happily, the December forecasts are full of holiday magic, so Laura and Alex are thrilled to tell Sagittarius about all the gifts that the planets will deliver for their birthday month. The horoscopes for Taurus and Scorpio are also joyful, although both signs should be prepared to pull the car over during Neptune’s fog. 

Laura and Alex thank you so much for listening this year and wish everyone a wonderful holiday season! May the light from the baby glow-worm in the manger bring happiness and comfort to all! 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 21:55

Sagittarius: 28:00

Taurus: 37:52

Scorpio: 48:45

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

It’s another month of brief forecasts as Susan Miller recovers from the eye infection that has left her partially blind. Alex and Laura believe that the Scorps of the world deserve more for their birthday month, but who are they to argue with Susan’s doctor?! Our fearless pioneer of the astrology internet must rest her eyes. 

Even though Susan stuck to the facts for the horoscopes, she managed to write a lengthy Note chock full of tidbits about the AZ team, Henri Bendel, and the ins and outs of the wall calendar. And that’s where this episode begins. Laura and Alex believe that this may be the first time in Astrology Zone’s history where the word count of Susan’s note to her readers far exceeds that of the horoscopes. And, boy, are they ready to provide some hot takes. They also discuss a bizarre social media post by Susan that resonated greatly with Laura and ultimately helped her through the tough leg of a recent trip. 

Without Susan’s usual flourishes, both the Scorpio and Taurus horoscopes this November are less than fun. The Scorps must be vigilant because someone might be embezzling from them, while the Taureans have to contend with unwanted news that will come out of nowhere. Suffice it to say that Laura and Alex are looking forward to December when Susan feels that she will be able to use her eyes for long enough to write the horoscopes to which they’ve become accustomed.  

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 6:44

Scorpio: 21:57

Taurus: 30:16

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

And Susan Miller is here to tell you how to do that. However, this month she delivers the news in an abbreviated form due to the most Susan reason ever. She is suffering from an eye infection that has left her unable to see and therefore unable to deliver the lengthy and whimsical horoscopes to which we’ve become accustomed. But what is lost this month in fanciful language is made up for in insight into Susan’s process.  

The gals start this episode with an explanation of why the horoscopes were posted early. Early! During the previous month! Laura and Alex are fairly certain that in the long history of Astrology Zone that this has never happened. The gals discuss the pros and cons (mostly pros tbh!) of these shorter forecasts and wonder if Susan should consider some changes to her writing process overall.  

Laura and Alex then tell Libra what October will bring them and the answer is money! Although oddly Libras may still feel the need to hit up their parents for some extra cash. Alex then warns the Scorps that they need to prepare themselves to come out from behind the scenes and into the spotlight, and Laura tells Taurus about the eclipses and thrilling social activities that await them. The episode finishes with an acknowledgment that Susan accurately predicted that the WGA strike could not end until Mercury went direct.

GET WELL SOON, SUSAN!!!!!

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller:  02:32

Libra: 12:57

Scorpio: 22:53

Taurus: 30:42

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

It’s your time to shine, although unfortunately you must deal with some secrets and surprises first. But Susan Miller is here to guide you through this difficult time so you can come out the other side ready to indulge in beauty treatments and international travel.

The episode begins with a discussion of Susan’s monthly Note to her readers. Here the gals learn that not even Susan is immune to the unpleasant machinations of retrograding planets. Celebrity astrologers–they’re just like us! Laura and Alex break down all the chaos, but most importantly, if any listeners out there have a contact at the social media platform formerly known as Twitter, please let Susan and her team know! 

After they share a hot take, the gals dive into recaps of this month’s horoscopes. It seems that all of the signs need to tread lightly until mid-September when Mercury finally goes direct, but after that, everyone is free to buy electronics and sign contracts with abandon. Venus has gone direct, too, so it’s time to make your Botox appointments! In addition, Virgo may get a good surprise from Uranus, Taurus must socialize as much as possible, and Scorpio is due for some glamour courtesy of Leo. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 01:58

Hot Take: 08:38

Virgo: 10:28

Taurus: 20:04

Scorpio: 27:17

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

And Laura and Alex are back from vacation to tell you what’s in store for your birthday month! Unfortunately, what’s in store is a lot of retrograding planets, which translates into a less than ideal time to throw a lavish birthday celebration. 

The gals jump right into this episode with a recap of Susan’s Note to her readers. Susan tells us that she has a new feature on her website, but due to the error of one of her engineers, it currently lacks some critical information. But don’t worry because in the meantime Susan Miller Businesswoman is here to tell you all about her many apps and how you can buy them.

The episode continues with a recap of Leo’s forecast. Laura and Alex are disappointed that this month’s birthday horoscope lacks unhinged Susan-style metaphors, but they carry on and deliver the bland forecast anyway. Laura then tells her fellow Taureans that they must watch out for all the supermoons that are supermooning as well as multiple retrograding planets, including Venus, their ruler. Let’s just say this is not the time for Taurus to throw parties or partake in unnecessary beauty regimens. Alex ends the episode by reviewing the rules of Venus retrograde and assuring Scorpio that September will be better.

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 3:10

Leo: 10:06

Taurus: 17:31

Scorpio: 26:54

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

Unfortunately, Susan Miller hasn’t written the most compelling horoscope for your birthday this year, Gemini. But Laura and Alex are here to tell you all about it anyway. With a song! 

The gals jump right into this episode with a recap of Susan’s note to her readers. Well, it’s not so much a recap as a dramatic reading; this month’s note is so wild that only Susan’s original text will do. Astrology Zone readers haven’t heard much from Susan lately about her health woes, but boy does she make up for it in this month’s note. She describes all of her recent health troubles, which she believes were caused not only by the May 5 eclipse, but also by the vibrations from a tuning fork!  

Next the gals recap Gemini’s birthday horoscope. They feel bad that it lacks excitement, so Laura writes and performs a special song! Alex then tells the Scorps that they must focus on career advancement this June (love can wait!), and Laura fills her fellow Taureans in on what they can expect when Venus retrogrades this month. Hold off on the Botox, Taurus!  

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 01:58

Gemini: 17:32

Scorpio: 24:34

Taurus: 31:44

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

ASTROLOGY ZONED PODCAST BIRTHDAY SONG

You say it’s your birthday

The horoscopes are late

You say it’s your birthday

The stars will tell you your fate

Where is Susan Miller

It doesn’t matter

Your birthday comes and goes

You say it’s your birthday

The horoscopes are late

But that's just fate!

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

According to Astrology Zone, the Tauruses of the world have a lot to look forward to this May. And that includes Laura, the pod’s very own Taurus birthday gal. Happy birthday to all!!!

The episode starts with a recap of Susan Miller’s note to her readers. Much of this month’s note is devoted to May’s difficult full moon lunar eclipse in Scorpio because Susan is concerned about the effects of this event on all the signs. But don’t worry–Susan lets us know that she wrote an essay about eclipses that is available on her website! She then moves from astrology to appearances, so next we meet Susan Miller Cinephile, who tells her readers about the film screening she is hosting with her daughter, Chrissie, a New York “It” girl of the mid-aughts.

Laura then informs her fellow Tauruses about the great month (well, second half of the month) that awaits them. Jupiter is entering Taurus, so get ready to enter a period of goodness! A better birthday present does not exist. Scorpio can expect a positive latter half of May, too, and Alex lets the Scorps know what’s in store this month. 

The gals end with a discussion of the coronation of Charles III (a Scorpio!) and bemoan the fact that the Royal Family likely does not employ a full-time astrologer. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 02:25

Taurus: 10:29

Scorpio: 19:27

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

You have a wonderful birthday month ahead of you. April contains not only a favorable eclipse and an incredible new moon, but also the Luckiest Day of the Year! That’s right. The Sun and Jupiter align and meet in Aries this year. So get ready for a month filled with opportunity, money, partnerships, and favorable contract-signing! At least until Mercury retrogrades.  

Laura and Alex begin the episode by talking about Susan Miller’s Note, which they are pleasantly surprised to find features more astrology than usual. They then switch up their hot take segment by giving their very own hot take on one of Susan’s Instagram stories. Let’s just say that the gals have a healthy fear of Cupid and will not be fooled by his cherubic depictions. 

They then tell Aries all about the amazing birthday season that awaits. Alex breaks down Susan’s forecast for Scorpio and Laura lets Taurus know what Astrology Zone predicts for them. Tangents include discussions of air conditioners, Taylor Swift, and places in California. And farewell to Susan Miller Epidemiologist! 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 2:09

Aries: 13:00

Scorpio: 19:57

Taurus: 28:25

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

And shine you will because Susan Miller predicts an incredible March where all of the planets are moving and changing and doing things! Prepare yourselves to enter a new realm full of buckets of money and dazzling opportunities where Saturn is your personal executive coach. Laura and Alex think you will feel just like Rihanna at the Superbowl. 

The episode begins with the gals recapping their first few days of March and transitions into a discussion about the Note, which includes a report of Susan’s Miller appearance last month in Dallas (the gals have spies everywhere!). Laura and Alex then share a scandalous hot take from social media in which an Astrology Zone reader accuses Susan of not writing this month’s horoscopes! Naturally, this leads the gals to wonder if ChatGTP will ever be able to convincingly recreate the Susan-isms we know and love. 

Next, Laura and Alex tell Pisces all of the wonderful things that await them this month. Seriously, Pisces, you might want to set aside some room for all the money that’s coming your way. Laura fills Taurus in on all of Susan’s wonderful predictions for March (visits from the Jolly Green Giant and Big Daddy Saturn?!) and Alex ends the episode with a recap of Scorpio’s horoscope, which is filled with excessive planet name-dropping. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 04:27

Pisces: 15:34

Taurus: 28:30

Scorpio: 38:40

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

Unfortunately, Susan Miller doesn’t predict the fabulous forecast that Aquarians deserve for their birthday month. But Laura and Alex are here to show support and wish Aquarians all the best. Better times are ahead in March! 

This episode begins with a recap of the Note, which consists of not much more than descriptions of Astrology Zone’s many apps and how you can buy them. However, readers in Dallas should get themselves to the Coyote Ridge Golf Club for lunch with Susan, which may or may not include some delicious chicken salad. 

The gals then tell Aquarius, Taurus, and Scorpio what to expect from February. Overall, they’re not the most positive horoscopes Susan has ever written (to say the least), but as she reminds her readers many times this month, at least February is only 28 days long. 

And of course, Laura and Alex have to discuss Susan’s thoughts on Valentine’s Day 2023. In a shocking turn of events, Susan doesn’t have high hopes for the day itself, which could explain why she doesn’t give her usual heteronormative recommendations for how to celebrate. There are no rose petals this year; only SAD lamps. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 6:10

Aquarius: 12:01

Taurus: 21:57

Scorpio: 29:02

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

And the start of a new year! And season 3 of this podcast! According to Susan Miller, January will be a great start to 2023. 

Laura and Alex kick off this episode by talking about their festive night on the town in December, an event that Susan Miller predicted in her final horoscopes of 2022. The gals then dissect the recent article about Susan in the New Yorker! It was only a matter of time before Susan, a quintessential New Yorker, was featured in the magazine, and you better believe that the article is filled with the Susan gems that we know and love. 

They then recap the Note, which includes the usual business woman content, a health update, and even some astrology. Next Laura and Alex give a recap of Capricorn’s forecast, which is full of predictions about increased income and money! Alex then fills Scorpio in on a positive, yet somewhat dull, forecast and Laura shares a more exciting horoscope for Taurus that includes secret VIPs watching over them!

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 10:47

Capricorn: 14:36

Scorpio: 19:34

Taurus: 25:59

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

According to Susan Miller, Sagittarius has a lot of planets in a lot of places this month, potentially resulting in strong partnerships, gifts, and a new home. And guess who is revealed to be a Sagittarius?! Astrology Zone! It turns out that Susan Miller invented the astrological internet twenty-seven years ago in December. 

The gals begin the episode by discussing Susan’s note to her readers. Like most of 2022’s notes, Susan Miller Businesswoman is the star. Susan treats the note like a Spotify Wrapped for her business pursuits this year, and of course, she encourages her readers to support her many ventures. 

Laura and Alex then share everything that Sagitarrius can expect from December 2022, which ranges from a happy Christmas Day to water damage. Laura then tells her fellow Tauruses what December holds, but even more exciting is the reminder that 2023 is Taurus’s Emerald Year! Then Alex explains why she’s a Scorpio with a love deadline. Finally, the episode ends with the gals betting on when the Year Ahead 2023 will be released. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 03:25

Sagittarius: 10:35

Taurus: 18:16

Scorpio: 30:08

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

And happy birthday to the wonderful Scorpios of the world! As always, Laura and Alex are here to preach justice for Scorpios, a group that has to deal with constant disrespect from the rest of the zodiac (or at least that’s how Alex, a Scorpio, sees it). 

We’re still in the midst of eclipse season and Susan Miller is here to terrify her readers. Laura and Alex share Astrology Zone’s strategies for dealing with the difficult November 8 eclipse in Taurus, which includes plenty of practical advice that isn’t necessarily related to astrology. They also recap Susan’s monthly note to her readers, which unsurprisingly includes descriptions of her many business ventures, and more surprisingly includes descriptions of the paper and ink that she likes to use for her calendars.  

Alex then tells us what Scorpio can expect this month and for the rest of the year (hint: it’s time to mix and mingle!), and Laura shares what November has in store for Taurus and how eclipse season has affected her ability to purchase tickets to see Taylor Swift. Finally, proving that you never know what the gals will talk about next, the episode ends with a warning about insider trading.

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 02:19

Scorpio: 10:22

Taurus:  20:33

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

Despite an approaching wild and wooly eclipse season, Susan Miller predicts a great birthday month for you, Libra! Get ready for money, travel, and supportive planets that gather around you like caring relatives, not unlike Peter Gallagher’s family waiting for him to awaken from his coma in the beloved romantic comedy While You Were Sleeping.

As always, Laura and Alex discuss Susan’s note to her readers and some hot takes from social media (justice for Pisces!). But before they dive into a discussion of Susan’s tiresome shilling of her products, the gals must review a new essay (and potential failed submission to Parenting magazine) that appeared on the Astrology Zone website recently.

The gals then talk about everything in store for Libra, Scorpio, and Taurus this October, and even meet Susan Miller Financial Planner! Not surprisingly, Laura and Alex have had quite enough of Susan pushing her business ventures and spend much of the episode wishing Susan had never learned about Web3.  

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Susan’s Latest Essay: 02:17

Note from Susan Miller: 08:41

Hot Takes: 12:25

Libra: 16:26

Scorpio: 23:50

Taurus: 32:31

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

There’s a lot to celebrate this month, Virgo! You should expect money, career success, and even fleets of Cupids! Susan Miller wants to know all about the dream in your heart so that you can get on the path to seeing it come true. Even Mercury retrograde isn’t going to get in the way of your cash infusion and booming career this September. 

As always, Laura and Alex cover Susan’s note to her readers (the Businesswoman is the star, even if the gals have no plans to purchase an NFT or join Discord) and everything that Taurus and Scorpio need to know this Virgo season. However, they begin this episode with a discussion of current events: the death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. The gals give their thoughts on Charles, the fate of the corgis, and the Queen’s sun sign. And out of deference to the Queen, no hot takes are shared this month (too much snark for such a sad day). But don’t worry because hot takes were shared earlier in the day… when Laura was on the local news! 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 21:42

Virgo: 26:23

Taurus: 32:49

Scorpio: 39:52

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Laura interviewed about QEII on the local news!: https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/looking-back-at-queen-elizabeths-3-new-york-city-visits/
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

And there’s a lot of good stuff coming your way this August, Leo, not the least of which is the coveted import-export of ideas! Susan Miller has a lot to say about how you can use the new moon (aka your cosmic gift certificate) to your advantage and the bonanzas that await you. 

However, Laura and Alex have even more to say about the Note. This month Susan announces that she has launched a collection of NFTs! Although the gals are not particularly shocked by this development (they know all about Susan’s commitment to Web 3, and even suggested in a previous episode that she might explore NFTs). Of course, there is a lot for Laura and Alex to dissect (Izak! Babylonians! Scrap!). And they do. 

The episode continues with recaps of the August horoscopes for Scorpio and Taurus. Susan advises Scorpios to get things done early in the month because it’s all over when Mercury and Mars retrograde. And Laura’s forecast introduces us to Violetta, a woman from Susan’s youth who gave her advice that she feels compelled to share with us today. Although it is the time of year for the Leos of the world to shine, Violetta might just be the star of this episode. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 2:28

Hot Takes: 22:37

Leo: 26:14

Scorpio: 37:56

Taurus: 46:10

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

Get ready to shine this July, Cancers! Susan Miller promises you an exciting month of VIP meetings, unexpected yet exciting news, and the luck of an Irishman! 

Laura and Alex kick off this episode with a discussion of Susan’s Note, a sprawling essay that covers a myriad of topics ranging from Susan’s new app to… Susan’s old app. Just kidding–we’re also graced by the presence of Susan Miller Tech Support, who tells us all about Astrology Zone’s foray into Discord. Susan suggests that we watch an introductory video on YouTube so we’ll be ready to join her–ever the internet pioneer–as she explores the exciting world of Web 3.0. 

The gals then review their favorite hot takes from the world of social media, and finish up with the July horoscopes for Cancer, Taurus, and Scorpio. They don’t have particularly wild forecasts this month, but are both excited to learn that if Laura tries hard enough, she has the power to create diamonds that spew forth from her brain.  

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 2:08

Hot Takes: 14:30

Cancer: 18:36

Taurus: 25:26

Scorpio: 33:05

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

A very happy birthday to all the Gemini twins of the world! Laura and Alex wish you only the best, even if Susan Miller could only write you a somewhat brief and neutral forecast. It’s possible she cut some corners this month, though, because… the horoscopes were posted on time!!! 

Not only were Laura and Alex filled with surprise that the forecasts were available on June 1, but they were also unfortunately filled with COVID. That’s right—Laura and Alex contracted COVID within a week of each other, so when Astrology Zone published the horoscopes on the first of the month, they were in no condition to read them, let alone record a podcast. But the gals are doing better and had just enough energy to (more or less) coherently discuss Susan’s Note, the long overdue Year Ahead 2022, Hot Takes (where they learn a lesson from icon Mariah Carey about believing in the impossible), and the horoscopes for Gemini, Scorpio, and Taurus.

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Announcement from Laura: 02:18

Note from Susan Miller: 06:22

Hot Takes: 10:10

Gemini: 11:55

Scorpio: 19:23

Taurus: 29:58

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

And to Laura!!!! Taurus season is upon us, as is eclipse season!  And Mercury retrograde! And there is a flower moon and a black moon! Needless to say, planets are doing things. 

This being eclipse season–complete with eclipses in both Taurus and Scorpio–Laura and Alex decide to read up on the subject. They start the episode by summarizing Susan Miller’s essay “How to Deal with Eclipses,” an unsurprisingly long treatise that details everything we need to know about this dramatic astrological occurrence. They continue with a discussion of Susan’s Note, which includes the reason that the horoscopes were posted late and updates on some of Susan’s forthcoming projects, including the Year Ahead 2022 (yes, this can still be described as “forthcoming”) and her new secret app. Laura then introduces a new segment to the podcast called “Hot Takes,” where the gals discuss commenters' reactions to Susan’s inscrutable and often perplexing social media posts. Finally, the gals break down the forecasts for Taurus and Scorpio, including all of the information on the aforementioned eclipses.

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

“How to Deal with Eclipses”: 01:22

Note from Susan Miller: 11:45

Hot Takes: 18:25

Taurus: 21:00

Scorpio: 33:18

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

Susan Miller has a lot of exciting things to share with Aries, but unfortunately this month’s horoscopes were published even later than usual. Laura and Alex waste no time (unlike some people…) getting into their thoughts on the late posting, Susan’s excuses, and wondering what might have happened over at Astrology Zone HQ to lead to such chaos. As always, Susan believes that quantity can excuse her lateness, so the gals have a lot of material to dissect, including appearances from Susan Miller Epidemiologist, Trend Forecaster, Oracle, and Tech Entrepreneur. 

After a thorough discussion of the Note, which includes updates on the Year Ahead 2022 and Susan’s newest app, the gals talk about the month ahead for Aries. Laura explains how this lucky sign is basically living in Bridgerton IRL and is the homecoming queen/Celine Dion of the zodiac in April. Alex then tells about Scorpio’s exciting (and lengthy) forecast, which includes a meeting of planets that will occur only once in our lifetime. Laura ends the episode by informing us of the artistic movement that awaits the world in 2023, which, excitingly, Susan predicts that Laura and her fellow Taureans will spearhead. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 5:20

Aries: 16:36

Scorpio: 26:02

Taurus: 36:23

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

And welcome to the world, baby Oliver! Susan announced that a new little Pisces joined her family in February. And while Laura and Alex are overjoyed by this news, they have a lot to say about the fact that the horoscopes weren’t published until March 5, leaving them to fend for themselves not only during this month’s new moon, but also on the luckiest day of the year.  

In this episode, Laura and Alex dissect Susan’s Note, which is chock full of gems, including how she helped her daughter after baby Oliver appeared on the scene, staffing changes at Astrology Zone headquarters, and her thoughts on the lengthy approval process for her Year Ahead 2022 e-book (yet to be published…). The gals let Pisces, the ruling royalty of the zodiac, know all the good things that February will bring (love! money! perfume!), and break down the forecasts for Taurus (it’s career time) and Scorpio (get ready for true love–again). 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 01:50

Pisces: 12:35

Taurus: 21:37

Scorpio: 29:42

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

And Susan Miller thinks you’re going to have a great month! Saturn is here to get you moving on your goals and projects, but it’s not all hard work, Aquarius. You’ve got money, laser beams of luck, and the coveted fleets of cherubs headed your way. 

In this episode, Laura and Alex tell Aquarius, Scorpio, and Taurus what they can expect during the Love Shack Era of Venus and Mars. They’re together this February, all cuddled up and ready to help you find love. And Susan couldn’t be more excited about Valentine’s Day 2022, suggesting glamorous evenings and luxurious restaurants, or possibly a vacation day! But before Laura and Alex can dive into all the Valentine’s Day details, they must discuss the disturbing social media post that led them to believe that yet another medical catastrophe had befallen Susan. Then in the Note, the gals are introduced to Susan Miller Help Desk, who has a lot to tell everyone this month, along with, of course, Susan Miller Businesswoman.   

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 5:52

Aquarius: 14:05

Scorpio: 22:44

Taurus: 32:29

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

And Happy New Year to all!!! It’s 2022 and Laura and Alex are not only celebrating a year since they followed Susan Miller’s advice to create a podcast, but also a wonderful outlook for the year ahead by the woman herself. Susan assures the gals that this year will not resemble 2020 and its twin 2021, and that all the signs have exciting things coming their way, even with both Mercury and Venus in retrograde in January. Needless to say, Laura and Alex are relieved to read and deliver such great news. 

The gals start the episode by recapping Susan’s Note to her readers. As expected, the businesswoman has a few updates, but we also get some great personal details when Susan tells us about spending Christmas with her family. Laura and Alex then tell Capricorn Susan’s prediction for a great year ahead, which includes money, career opportunities (listen up, Capricorn actors), and the coveted Cupid fleets. Next, Laura encourages her fellow Tauruses to relax and ease slowly into the new year, and she delivers a cautionary tale (from her personal experience!) about the dangers of Venus in retrograde. Finally Alex relays Susan’s predictions for love in 2022 to Scorpio and lets them know when they can expect Venus and Cupid to make things happen. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 03:36

Capricorn: 11:20

Taurus: 19:24

Scorpio: 33:14

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

Not only did Susan predict a great month for you filled with money, real estate, and a Christmas miracle, but we learned that lucky Sagittarius shares its sign with Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone! December 14, 2021, marks 26 years since Susan Miller invented the astrological internet (or at least that’s how Laura and Alex feel about it). And that’s not the only anniversary this month: Laura and Alex are celebrating one year of podcasting about Susan Miller! 

As always, the episode begins with a discussion of the Note from Susan Miller, and it’s no surprise to anyone that the businesswoman continues to be the focus. Susan gives us more info on her beauty box collaboration, and thanks to an intervention from Jimmy (whoever that is), she even changes her position on whether or not men enjoy skincare. Susan also teases an expensive yoga retreat that Laura and Alex do not plan to attend, as well as a new feature of her app, which makes the gals wonder if Susan is tuning into this podcast! Then Laura and Alex dive into December’s horoscopes, which, as promised, are much better than November’s terrifying forecasts. They start by discussing the exciting month ahead for Sagittarius and their connections to the Sagittarrians in their lives. Then Laura’s discussion of Taurus includes not only exciting predictions for the month, but also valuable information on Ancient Greece, Shakespeare, and her writing in high school. To end, Alex relays lots of positive news to the Scorpios, who have gift cards coming their way in December, and fleets of Cupids in 2022.

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 01:48

Sagittarius: 10:44

Taurus: 19:00

Scorpio: 27:49

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Hear Laura on the Boobies and Noobies Podcast in late December: https://boobiesandnoobies.com/episodes 

Note: Internet research into Marc Antony’s and Cleopatra’s astrological signs is inconclusive. However, Marc Antony was likely a Capricorn, while Cleopatra may have been an Aquarius, Gemini, or Scorpio.

Unfortunately, though, the planets are not showering you with presents and good wishes. In fact, they’re only bringing trouble to the signs this November. 

Laura and Alex begin this episode by apologizing to their listeners about the terrible, flippy floppy forecasts that they must relay this month. The gals then talk all about Susan’s Note (now called “News”?!?!), which is entirely about another of Susan Miller’s exciting business ventures (oh, how far we have come since CBD fizzy water!). Laura then delves into Taurus’s horoscope and tells us about everything surprise-a-minute Uranus is up to (nothing good) and everything that the Taurus must contend with during the new moon (again, nothing good). Alex wraps us with Scorpio’s forecast, which is not full of birthday fun, but warnings of possible bad news and unwanted events brought on by that bad boy Uranus and the new moon. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 02:10

Taurus: 11:00

Scorpio: 21:56

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

And not even Mercury retrograde can dull your sparkle! In fact, Susan Miller thinks that all the signs have a chance against Dennis the Menace (aka Mercury) and his slingshot this month, which is certainly a departure from the Merc retro warnings we have come to expect from Astrology Zone. 

Laura and Alex start this episode by revealing the winners of their Susan Miller calendar art giveaway, which segues into… even more discussion of calendars! This month’s Note from Susan Miller is mostly a sales pitch for the 2022 calendar, so unsurprisingly, Laura and Alex have a lot to say about Susan Miller businesswoman, and more surprisingly, have some information to share from Susan herself on the sales trends of calendars generally. The gals then break down the horoscopes for Libra, Scorpio, and Taurus, and round out the episode with a discussion of halloween costumes, eclipses, and the post office. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Announcement of Giveaway Winners: 

Note from Susan Miller: 04:05

Libra 14:22

Scorpio 22:01

Taurus: 30:22 

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us (and send us photos of your Halloween costumes!) by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

*Giveaway Announcement* One lucky listener will receive their zodiac sign’s illustrated page from the Susan Miller Astrology Zone 2021 Calendar! To enter to win, send an email astrologyzoned@gmail.com with your name, your astrological sign, and something you liked in an episode of this podcast. Sorry, winners must reside in the USA and we must receive your email by October 1, 2021. 

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us (and enter our giveaway!) by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Watch Laura’s Instagram stories of the gals on the scene: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17908126145109718/
• Buy Alexander’s #BrellaBag: https://www.alexanderallenstyle.me
• Read about Susan’s design for her trunk: https://www.vogue.com/article/louis-vuitton-susan-miller-trunk
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

You are in for a great month! After the terrible time that all the signs had in August, Susan Miller is here to tell us about better things for September. She has even promised both Taurus and Scorpio that September will be filled with enchanting social events, which Laura and Alex interpret as Susan inviting them to the glamorous launch of her collaboration with Louis Vuitton (translation: they will stand outside a store and peer into a window to see a trunk Susan designed by sending inspirational stock photos to the LV team via FedEx). 

As always, Laura and Alex dissect Susan’s Note, which surprisingly focuses on the aforementioned trunk rather than her recent injury (Susan, we hope you feel better soon!), and let Virgo, Taurus, and Scorpio know what September holds (plans that go your way, an event straight out of the silver screen, and fleets of cherubs, respectively).

*Giveaway Announcement* One lucky listener will receive their zodiac sign’s illustrated page from the Susan Miller Astrology Zone 2021 Calendar! To enter to win, send an email astrologyzoned@gmail.com with your name, your astrological sign, and something you liked in an episode of this podcast. Sorry, winners must reside in the USA and we must receive your email by October 1, 2021. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Giveaway Announcement: 04:14

Note from Susan Miller: 08:15

Virgo: 15:30

Taurus: 21:19

Scorpio: 27:34

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us (and enter our giveaway!) by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Mercury is going Retrograde! Listen to our episode on how to handle this recurring event: https://astrology-zoned.captivate.fm/episode/mercury-in-retrograde-everything-susan-miller-needs-you-to-know
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

It’s going to be a rollercoaster of a month for all the signs. Sorry to all of the Leos who have birthdays early in the month because the new moon on August 8 brings trouble and unwanted surprises. But while we’re over here dealing with angry planets and aggressive beams, Susan Miller is living her best life, and Laura and Alex have been doing their best to keep up with her wild summer. The gals cover everything from Susan’s new love of Clubhouse to her successful partnership with Turner Classic Movies, and Laura talks about finally buying Susan’s much-hyped (by Susan) Astrology Zone calendar. And thanks to a lovely review from a listener, they discuss their rising signs and get honest about how many of Susan’s horoscopes they can stand to read in one month.  

Finally Laura and Alex let all the Leos know what to expect during their birthday month and they break down anxiety-provoking horoscopes for Scorpio and Taurus. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 9:10

Leo: 26:14

Scorpio: 31:42

Taurus: 37:33

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

Get ready for money! And friendship! And maybe even a surprise party! But please pretend to be surprised even though Susan just spoiled it for you. Cancer is going to have a wonderful birthday month full of travel; Susan even forgoes her usual Covid safety warnings to encourage you to get to some thickly forested mountains ASAP. 

In other exciting news, Venus and Mars meet up this month for their one rendezvous per year, and all of the signs will benefit from their canoodling. Laura and Alex discuss this exciting reunion, Susan’s party planning tips, and her social media posts from late June teasing a surprise for her readers. What could it be?! The gals had ideas, but of course, it turned out to be something they never would have guessed. And as always, Laura and Alex break down Susan’s forecasts for Taurus and Scorpio. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 08:35

Cancer: 14:23

Taurus: 20:14

Scorpio: 26:28

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Set your DVRS and find your cable channel guide so you can watch “Star Signs with Susan Miller” on Turner Classic Movies. As promised, this link takes you to a photo of heartthrob Steve McQueen (and more information): https://www.tcm.com/articles/Programming%20Article/021392/spotlight-star-signs-with-susan-miller 
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Hear Laura talk about her television picks on TV BFFs at: https://audioboom.com/channels/5051822 

In this special episode, Laura and Alex break down Susan’s “Mercury Retrograde and What It Means For You.” They learn everything from when it’s safe to get plastic surgery to what it means to be born under Mercury retrograde to whether this time really deserves its bad reputation. All that plus more of Susan’s practical advice than you knew you needed. 

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

This episode is all about you! According to Susan, the double-bodied Gemini brings the possibility for twice the opportunities! Geminis certainly are a lucky group, which is why the gals are so excited that baby Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor has entered the world under such an auspicious sign! 

The episode starts with a discussion of Susan’s posting habits and note to her readers, where she details her grief over her ex-husband’s death. And in true businesswoman fashion, she still gets in a few plugs for her many endeavors. The gals learn some new facts about astrology, including one that will be of interest to anyone who has been married more than once (just like Elizabeth Taylor!) and report on Susan’s practical advice for June. Finally, Alex is happy to report that Cupid’s little fleet of angels is back in full effect for Scorpio, and Laura informs her Taurus friends that they might have to deal with some change.   

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 02:30

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 10:30

Gemini: 13:06

Scorpio: 26:10

Taurus: 32: 50

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

Will May be better, as Susan Miller predicted last month? It’s looking good based on the forecasts for Taurus and Scopio, but unfortunately not everyone made it through April’s monster moon without incident. Laura and Alex discuss Susan’s sad note to her readers, a tribute to her ex-husband who died at the end of April. Then Laura recaps Susan’s May forecast for Taurus, which she believes is a call for her to have a hot girl summer, and Alex recaps Scorpio, in which Susan instructs her to let go of her skepticism and embrace love. The gals end the episode by sharing their many takeaways from this month’s forecasts, although perhaps none more important than the realization that it’s simply impossible to discuss Uranus without giggling. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Monster moon recap: 2:43

Note from Susan Miller: 10:15

Taurus: 16:20

Scorpio: 32:12

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 44:36

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us (and let us know about your experience with the monster moon!) by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

In this episode, Laura and Alex continue to be confused about Susan’s posting habits (she was on time again and it wasn’t even an April Fools’ Day prank) and work through their fears about the ominous monster moon in Scorpio that will bring unexpected and unwelcome obstacles and changes to all of the signs. They discuss Susan’s note to her readers, geezers versus geysers, Scorpio hate, and of course, all of Susan’s practical advice for getting through the monster moon and the pandemic. 

Horoscope highlights for each sign can be found at the following timestamps: 

Aries: 6:46

Taurus: 11:30

Gemini: 15:44

Cancer: 17:41

Leo: 19:29

Virgo: 21:36

Libra: 22:35

Scorpio: 23:32

Sagittarius: 29:19

Capricorn: 30:52

Aquarius: 33:16

Pisces: 35:12

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 36:25

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us (and let us know about your experience with the monster moon!) by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Order “If You Really Love Me, Throw Me off the Mountain,” by Erin Clark, a strong and powerful Aries woman: https://www.erinclarkwriter.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

TRANSCRIPT: 

Laura: Hello, everybody! Welcome to April 2021. We made it this far! Yay!

Alex: Hi everyone. Hi Laura!

Laura: Oh, hi Alex!

Alex: How are you doing?

Laura: I think I'm okay but then I read our horoscopes and now I have some concerns for something, but you know, I think we'll get through. We’ll talk about why we're scared, but also I feel like we've lived through so much already that maybe I shouldn't be so scared, but I don't know, I got nervous.

Alex: The fact that we have lived through so much and we're scared though maybe says something.

Laura: Maybe it says something. Yeah, yeah. Well let's get into, as usual, when Susan Miller released the horoscopes for April. Again, another surprise. Another surprise, she released them on April 1. Wow. And I think, you know, last month in March we were so shocked because she released them a day early and that was really out of character and now it was just on time. So you and I agree that that while we don't like it and we're perturbed by her promptness—

Alex: Extremely

Laura: Extremely—we are just going to now keep track of like this streak and see how long it goes and also if we ever get an answer about why it's after 25 years she's suddenly become prompt with her horoscopes. It's a mystery.

Alex: Right, so it's like a challenge. Susan, can you keep this up? But also why?

Laura: Also why? Yeah we don't know why is it happening.

Alex: Why are you doing this to us?

Laura: Yeah why you're doing this, what’s changed about your process, what's going on.

But she released them on time. It was April 1. I had just gotten my second dose of the vaccine and I was really out of it so it took me a few days to read. But now we have and I think we should start off with the note from Susan Miller.

Alex: Yes, so she starts off the note by saying: April will be a good, cheerful, and productive month until we get to the monster full moon in Scorpio on April 26. I know. And then she wrote: I know I am writing this on April 1, April Fool's Day, and I wish I were pranking you. This full moon will be no joke.

Laura: Oh no, but see I got scared.

Alex: It’s incredibly ominous but also I was wondering if she like crafted this and she was like, Oh, this is good, I gotta post on April 1 so that I can put this little gem in, and that was part of her motivation.

Laura: It might be, it might be I mean, I mean, it is a good joke, you know, a good line, but because also for a second I did think like, is this an April Fool's joke when they posted. No, it was all there so I don’t know. So right, so she warned us about a monster moon and Alex, what is a monster moon?

Alex: I was very intrigued by this idea of the monster moon, because, you know, great alliteration and you know it sounds exciting and creepy. I tried to look into what a monster moon is and by that I mean I googled, and I have no answers.

Laura: Okay, so it's not, it's not like when there's like a harvest moon or strawberry now. Okay, so it might just be her term for like a large and impactful moon full moon event.

Alex: I think it might be that, as well, but she doesn't explain it.

Laura: Okay, well because then she also said her note that the last time there was a monster moon was October 31, 2020. And so she wants us to tell her what happens for us this time, like, let her know.

Alex: She did. That was a big part of note. She did all of the ways that you can communicate with her, so please let her know what happens to you.

Laura: Oh, great. Okay, so I think we should tell her. I think we should email her from the podcast and be like, this is what happened for us. That would be a good way to keep the contact going with Susan Miller. Okay, so then the other part of her note we always get, you know, a Susan Miller businesswoman update and Susan Miller wrote the foreword for an art book called Astrology that she talked with a beautiful prints in it and then my favorite part is that she said that they asked for two paragraphs, but she gave them 1800 words and they didn't want to change a thing. And I was like that's so Susan Miller, like you just want to know what's up and she's like, let me explain it all to you. So, and then also she included a little bit about this book in everyone's horoscope so that no one would miss it, which I found interesting because in March, she had this big announcement and it turned out to be that she was being sponsored by, not even being sponsored by, but she had some sort of collaboration with a CBD fizzy water, and we were very confused about it, and it just appeared in the note briefly, and also days after she'd already announced the horoscopes and, and she didn't put that in everyone's note, but she did put this art book in everyone's horoscope, so unclear what the situation is, but she seems very hyped about this book and wanted to make sure everyone knew that they could get it for only 40 US dollars.

Alex: Yes, and she provided a link so that you can buy it.

Laura: So I'm wondering if she's got any sort of financial arrangement because she kind of did more for the book than she did for the fizzy water. As the month went on, I had a lot more feelings about the fizzy water and now influencing works and how effective marketing works and I gotta say I wasn’t really sure that Susan had done it. But um, you know, hey, it was her first influencing deal that we know about. Like it is in the modern influencing kind of way. She’s done a lot of different like collaborations and sponsorship things.

Alex: And maybe her end game was just some free CBD fizzy water and she got it.

Laura: Yeah, definitely. I mean, though. Bless.

Alex: Yeah. Right, exactly.

Laura: But yeah so we're still unclear on why horoscopes early. Is it a result of the fizzy water? I don't know, I don't know, and will we ever find out? Alright, so that was the note from Susan Miller. Should we get into the horoscopes?

Alex: Let's get into the horoscopes so Aries, Happy birthday to Aries.

Laura: Happy Birthday Aries. Well before we get into it, can we say happy birthday to a few Aries that we know personally, okay because you know they're going to listen. So happy birthday to Liz Wexler! Happy Birthday Liz. And happy birthday to a very powerful Aries woman, Erin Clark, good friend of mine, and Erin has written a memoir, it is called “If You Really Love Me Throw Me off the Mountain.” If you like travel adventure, romance, intimacy, paragliding, Spain, you will definitely enjoy this book, and for her birthday I think that you should buy it and leave her a review. I'll put a link in our show notes but you can find it if you just look for “If You Really Love Me Throw Me off the Mountain,” which is just the most Aries title ever.

Alex: Oh, big time Aries energy.

Laura: And the publisher of Erin’s book designed the cover because Erin has like Aries in Mars, so that's what the cover of the book has red on it.

Alex: Well done.

Laura: Very cool.

Alex: Well, it sounds like there's something for everyone.

Laura: Definitely. Okay, so in general for Aries horoscopes, what do we have?

Alex: Well, she started the forecast by saying that the big emphasis that Aries had on career in the past few years is kind of winding down. And the last full moon in March was really great. There was a golden triangle. You know I just like to repeat these things that Susan says, I don't really know what they are. And that accented your partnerships and your commitments. So, you know, getting into the romance early. Maybe you met...]]>Get excited for Aries season! And make sure to live your life in the first part of this month because when the monster moon comes on April 26, who knows what will happen! Susan Miller herself can’t even tell us what to expect.  

In this episode, Laura and Alex continue to be confused about Susan’s posting habits (she was on time again and it wasn’t even an April Fools’ Day prank) and work through their fears about the ominous monster moon in Scorpio that will bring unexpected and unwelcome obstacles and changes to all of the signs. They discuss Susan’s note to her readers, geezers versus geysers, Scorpio hate, and of course, all of Susan’s practical advice for getting through the monster moon and the pandemic. 

Horoscope highlights for each sign can be found at the following timestamps: 

Aries: 6:46

Taurus: 11:30

Gemini: 15:44

Cancer: 17:41

Leo: 19:29

Virgo: 21:36

Libra: 22:35

Scorpio: 23:32

Sagittarius: 29:19

Capricorn: 30:52

Aquarius: 33:16

Pisces: 35:12

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 36:25

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us (and let us know about your experience with the monster moon!) by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Order “If You Really Love Me, Throw Me off the Mountain,” by Erin Clark, a strong and powerful Aries woman: https://www.erinclarkwriter.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

TRANSCRIPT: 

Laura: Hello, everybody! Welcome to April 2021. We made it this far! Yay!

Alex: Hi everyone. Hi Laura!

Laura: Oh, hi Alex!

Alex: How are you doing?

Laura: I think I'm okay but then I read our horoscopes and now I have some concerns for something, but you know, I think we'll get through. We’ll talk about why we're scared, but also I feel like we've lived through so much already that maybe I shouldn't be so scared, but I don't know, I got nervous.

Alex: The fact that we have lived through so much and we're scared though maybe says something.

Laura: Maybe it says something. Yeah, yeah. Well let's get into, as usual, when Susan Miller released the horoscopes for April. Again, another surprise. Another surprise, she released them on April 1. Wow. And I think, you know, last month in March we were so shocked because she released them a day early and that was really out of character and now it was just on time. So you and I agree that that while we don't like it and we're perturbed by her promptness—

Alex: Extremely

Laura: Extremely—we are just going to now keep track of like this streak and see how long it goes and also if we ever get an answer about why it's after 25 years she's suddenly become prompt with her horoscopes. It's a mystery.

Alex: Right, so it's like a challenge. Susan, can you keep this up? But also why?

Laura: Also why? Yeah we don't know why is it happening.

Alex: Why are you doing this to us?

Laura: Yeah why you're doing this, what’s changed about your process, what's going on.

But she released them on time. It was April 1. I had just gotten my second dose of the vaccine and I was really out of it so it took me a few days to read. But now we have and I think we should start off with the note from Susan Miller.

Alex: Yes, so she starts off the note by saying: April will be a good, cheerful, and productive month until we get to the monster full moon in Scorpio on April 26. I know. And then she wrote: I know I am writing this on April 1, April Fool's Day, and I wish I were pranking you. This full moon will be no joke.

Laura: Oh no, but see I got scared.

Alex: It’s incredibly ominous but also I was wondering if she like crafted this and she was like, Oh, this is good, I gotta post on April 1 so that I can put this little gem in, and that was part of her motivation.

Laura: It might be, it might be I mean, I mean, it is a good joke, you know, a good line, but because also for a second I did think like, is this an April Fool's joke when they posted. No, it was all there so I don’t know. So right, so she warned us about a monster moon and Alex, what is a monster moon?

Alex: I was very intrigued by this idea of the monster moon, because, you know, great alliteration and you know it sounds exciting and creepy. I tried to look into what a monster moon is and by that I mean I googled, and I have no answers.

Laura: Okay, so it's not, it's not like when there's like a harvest moon or strawberry now. Okay, so it might just be her term for like a large and impactful moon full moon event.

Alex: I think it might be that, as well, but she doesn't explain it.

Laura: Okay, well because then she also said her note that the last time there was a monster moon was October 31, 2020. And so she wants us to tell her what happens for us this time, like, let her know.

Alex: She did. That was a big part of note. She did all of the ways that you can communicate with her, so please let her know what happens to you.

Laura: Oh, great. Okay, so I think we should tell her. I think we should email her from the podcast and be like, this is what happened for us. That would be a good way to keep the contact going with Susan Miller. Okay, so then the other part of her note we always get, you know, a Susan Miller businesswoman update and Susan Miller wrote the foreword for an art book called Astrology that she talked with a beautiful prints in it and then my favorite part is that she said that they asked for two paragraphs, but she gave them 1800 words and they didn't want to change a thing. And I was like that's so Susan Miller, like you just want to know what's up and she's like, let me explain it all to you. So, and then also she included a little bit about this book in everyone's horoscope so that no one would miss it, which I found interesting because in March, she had this big announcement and it turned out to be that she was being sponsored by, not even being sponsored by, but she had some sort of collaboration with a CBD fizzy water, and we were very confused about it, and it just appeared in the note briefly, and also days after she'd already announced the horoscopes and, and she didn't put that in everyone's note, but she did put this art book in everyone's horoscope, so unclear what the situation is, but she seems very hyped about this book and wanted to make sure everyone knew that they could get it for only 40 US dollars.

Alex: Yes, and she provided a link so that you can buy it.

Laura: So I'm wondering if she's got any sort of financial arrangement because she kind of did more for the book than she did for the fizzy water. As the month went on, I had a lot more feelings about the fizzy water and now influencing works and how effective marketing works and I gotta say I wasn’t really sure that Susan had done it. But um, you know, hey, it was her first influencing deal that we know about. Like it is in the modern influencing kind of way. She’s done a lot of different like collaborations and sponsorship things.

Alex: And maybe her end game was just some free CBD fizzy water and she got it.

Laura: Yeah, definitely. I mean, though. Bless.

Alex: Yeah. Right, exactly.

Laura: But yeah so we're still unclear on why horoscopes early. Is it a result of the fizzy water? I don't know, I don't know, and will we ever find out? Alright, so that was the note from Susan Miller. Should we get into the horoscopes?

Alex: Let's get into the horoscopes so Aries, Happy birthday to Aries.

Laura: Happy Birthday Aries. Well before we get into it, can we say happy birthday to a few Aries that we know personally, okay because you know they're going to listen. So happy birthday to Liz Wexler! Happy Birthday Liz. And happy birthday to a very powerful Aries woman, Erin Clark, good friend of mine, and Erin has written a memoir, it is called “If You Really Love Me Throw Me off the Mountain.” If you like travel adventure, romance, intimacy, paragliding, Spain, you will definitely enjoy this book, and for her birthday I think that you should buy it and leave her a review. I'll put a link in our show notes but you can find it if you just look for “If You Really Love Me Throw Me off the Mountain,” which is just the most Aries title ever.

Alex: Oh, big time Aries energy.

Laura: And the publisher of Erin’s book designed the cover because Erin has like Aries in Mars, so that's what the cover of the book has red on it.

Alex: Well done.

Laura: Very cool.

Alex: Well, it sounds like there's something for everyone.

Laura: Definitely. Okay, so in general for Aries horoscopes, what do we have?

Alex: Well, she started the forecast by saying that the big emphasis that Aries had on career in the past few years is kind of winding down. And the last full moon in March was really great. There was a golden triangle. You know I just like to repeat these things that Susan says, I don't really know what they are. And that accented your partnerships and your commitments. So, you know, getting into the romance early. Maybe you met someone, maybe you already have someone until you're getting married, something like that. She does say on April 6, some things are going to happen with planets, and you're going to have the opportunity for love, allure, charm and beauty. So she recommends going on a first date, seeing your stylist, or going shopping. Laura: Wow, okay.

Alex: She says this is a day for fun pickup flowers to place on your coffee table on the way home.

Laura: Lovely.

Alex: What Aries doesn't want to do that, you know? She says, on April 11, Mars is going to be in your short trip travel house, so you may find that you're needing to take a trip without a lot of notice, and it may be there’s another planet that has to do with like close relatives and so it likely might be like you need to visit a sibling out of nowhere or cousin or something like that. This was a trend in a lot of the horoscopes, which we will talk about, April 15 and 16 appear to be wonderful days for everyone, no exception for the Aries. And then she did say April 16 and 17 are great days to sign papers, give a speech, or hand in a manuscript because Jupiter and Mars are going to meet and that doesn't happen very often.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Alex: I mean, here's the thing, it was very, it was very good and again this is going to be a trend throughout this whole show, which is like things are really great until this monster moon comes, and then with the monster moon comes unexpected things that are not good. And there are things that you never could guess. I think for Aries in particular the monster moon is not going to be so good in terms of financial aspects. So that's really not great. Yeah, it just kind of goes downhill from there. I don't want to be too much of a bummer.

Laura: Yeah, no I everyone everyone's monster moon had a lot of doom forewarning.

Alex: A lot of doom, so much so that she even wrote in Aries one that May will be better.

Laura: Oh, yeah, she said that I think for Taurus and other people as well. So, I guess all we can tell people is that, be careful. Well, in our practical advice wrap up at the end we'll, we'll give you some more of this but just keep your schedule light and be careful around the monster moon.

Alex: Yeah. Exactly. Keep your schedule light. Be productive in the first part of the month, get your things done, but also get your rest because you're going to need it to deal with the monster moon.

Laura: Okay. Well, you know, happy birthday Aries. It sounds like the first part it's great then we're going to hit a bump. May will be better.

Alex: May will be better. Hang in there.

Laura: Yeah, hang in there. Okay so Taurus here is some bits about your horoscope for April 2021. I am a Taurus so you're going to get a little bit more on this. So one thing that Susan said was that something you completed around March 28 made you proud, and I was like, oh, Erin Clark, the Aries we just mentioned, she and I finished a draft, finished the revisions on our manuscript for our romantic comedy for Audible and we like turned that in right around the full moon so I was like, I am proud Susan, thank you. That was exciting and then for Taurus she goes on that in your career you are golden and it seems you can do no wrong. This year you have Jupiter the giver of gifts and luck shining at the top of your chart in Aquarius, your 10th house of prestigious career leadership and advancement. Jupiter will see you get an array of offers. Be choosy and pick the ones that provides you with the biggest gain and also gives your soul the most satisfaction. So that, that felt nice you know, I was like okay I'm ready, I'm ready for it. And then she went into the full moon and this is when I just kind of disassociated and went into like

Alex: Survival mode.

Laura: Yeah, survival mode. I just kind of powered down. I got scared and anxious and I disassociated. But what she says about the monster moon is that the full moon will the full moon is in Scorpio and Alex you're a Scorpio.

Alex: I know and I'm kind of like does this really crappy full moon really need to be in Scorpio to just add to the Scorpio hate already in the world, and of course it does because just pile on to the Scorpios but

Laura: I literally said out loud when I was reading about this full moon I said I reject it. I can’t handle what it wants to bring. She said it will be emotional and troublesome bringing news and events you never would have expected, and she was talking about the week of April 26 and like keeping your schedule light because you might have things unexpected and you have to change plans. It could be something that will draw attention to your partner, a person close to you, so just your spouse or business partner or a collaborator. You might have to drop whatever you are doing near April 26 and attend to the matter that bursts forth like a geyser out of the ground. And I was like I reject this because I'm almost fully vaccinated and my family's getting their last vaccines, we’re going to be fully vaccinated by the end of April, and I'm finally going to be able to go home and see my family after not seeing them for over a year, and I was like I can't I won't be changing, I won't be dropping everything, I will just be going to see my family. So she did say that like, there would be like friends to support so like, there'll be help at this new moon for Taurus so that and it will light your house of communication, travel, and close kin, so you might need to be in contact with a sibling or a cousin who will have an idea that will help, and you might be confronted with news that needs a quick solution. So that made me feel better that it was just gonna be like surprise information that I’ll have to deal with and not like a complete derailing. And I was like, well if anything happens in New York while I'm gone I have friends and they have like keys to my apartment or something, you know. So then I felt a little bit better but in general I was like I don’t accept anything that might derail me seeing my family.

Alex: You shouldn’t accept it.

Laura: I won’t.

Alex: You'll deal with the geyser if needed.

Laura: Yeah, exactly. I also I got scared because you know I've had I've had things happen where she that like I was like, is the geyser literal or metaphorical? That also scares me.

Alex: Yeah, it does. And we know that Susan tends to zero in on when people are going to have water damage.

Laura: exactly so then I then that made me nervous, but anyway May is going to be better and May is Taurus month and my birthday, so in our next podcast, I'm sure I'll have better news. But if my fellow Tauruses want to join me in rejecting whatever drama the full moon brings on.

Alex: Yeah, fellow Tauruses, be inspired by Laura. She’s not going to let that geyser get in her way!

Laura: No, I’m not. I'll just make a raincoat.

Alex: Exactly. Just be prepared for the geyser.

Laura: That's right. So, that's what we have for Taurus.

Alex: Great alright, well Gemini, this is your April 2021 horoscope summary. You are about to enter the most important months of the year for advancing your career. Get ready for your close up, dear Gemini, because you will be in demand. That's how it begins. So, you know, I think that's great. In terms of romance, she said that Geminis likely met someone at the end of March. And I don't know she didn’t really say anything about that, she just said maybe it happened. And then if you at the end of March, you are with someone, maybe you became engaged. She also says April 15 and 16, extremely good, best days of the month, they are calling out your name. And then it shifts into April 26 monster moon again and she is very quick to tell you to rest up for the monster moon. You know, be in good shape because we don't really know what's going to happen that's the whole point. Unexpected things that you don't want. She said the full moon will receive a challenge from unpredictable Uranus, making this time of year near April 26 quite unstable. This I thought was kind of funny. She said, you seem to be working hard at the office or lab.

Laura: Oh, what are you making Gemini?

Alex: I don't know, but I just thought that was very interesting. And you're, you're racing to finish up something in the lab and so you might be exhausted. So start that project in the lab early, so that when the monster moon hits you know it won't be completely terrible.

Laura: No, that sounds good, good advice. Thank you.

Alex: So, yeah, Gemini, it's about the same for you. Great things and then not so great things.

Laura: Well, Cancer, this is your horoscope highlight for April 2021. Susan wanted to let you know that a big moment will arrive at the Aries and new moon of April 11 and the days of April 12 through the 16 will be vital to your professional progress for this will be one of your best moments to show your company, your industry, and the world that you are made of all of the right stuff. Not only will you make a bigger name for yourself that week, you'll stand a chance of making a good amount of money too, especially if you are in sales or work on a performance basis like commission or royalty. And she's been talking about Cancers getting buckets of money for a few months now so I just put this put this information in that same bucket. Cancer, congratulations, more buckets of money. Good luck.

Alex: Yeah, find somewhere to store all those buckets because they are not going to stop coming.

Laura: Maybe the geezer like Taurus, it said the Tauruses were going to have geezers, like, the new moon, the full moon will have like a geezer out of the ground and maybe Cancers are just gonna have like geezers full of money. Is it called “geezer” or “geyser”? What did I just say?

Alex: Geyser.

Laura: They’re going to have old...]]>d3a8c4ac-18f5-4393-aa22-7cbf8b38c9adThu, 08 Apr 2021 08:00:00 -040039:32falsefull1661March 2021 Horoscopes: "Exciting News"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PISCES! It’s your time to shine. 

In a shocking turn of events, Susan Miller posted her March horoscopes early! And to confuse matters even more, she included a cryptic note to her readers instructing them to return to her website on March 2 for ‘exciting news’  Laura and Alex start this episode by trying to make sense of the unexpectedly early horoscopes and the strange “Note from Susan Miller,” and then talk through the feelings of confusion and betrayal that resulted from her underwhelming announcement. 

Laura and Alex then give summaries of all the signs’ forecasts, which can be found at the following timestamps: 

Pisces: 25:21

Aries: 26:43

Taurus: 27:44

Gemini: 32:12

Cancer: 34:10

Leo: 35:07

Virgo: 34:43

Libra: 38:36

Scorpio: 39:27

Sagittarius: 46:19

Capricorn: 48:56

Aquarius: 50:17

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 53:08

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Order a sample of Dolly Parton’s new perfume: https://scentbeauty.com/products/dolly-eau-de-parfum-3ml
• Watch Lucy and Ethel at the chocolate factory (a must-see for Capricorns this month): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkQ58I53mjk 
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

TRANSCRIPT: 

Laura: Hello, friends, listeners of the podcast. Welcome to our March episode. Me, Laura von Holt here with

Alex: I'm Alex Gershuny. Welcome. Thank you for listening.

Laura: Yeah, we have a lot to cover. Some big developments have happened in the world of Susan Miller, and to sum it all up before we start, I'll just say that it is Pisces season, and I think that we are underwater.

Alex: I think that's the perfect way to put it. You know, I, I thought we'd have kind of a calm month, to be perfectly honest, I thought, you know, well, you know we had an exciting February, we did the special romance episode and I was like okay well March is going to be, you know, standard going through horoscopes. I was very wrong. Susan did not disappoint. That may not be the right word, but we’ll explain.

Laura: Yeah. So I think let's just get into what threw us for the loop. You know now that we have a podcast, Alex and I the week before, or the last week of the month, we were like, when do we think she’ll post her horoscope when we record the podcast and we were like well February's a short month, so let's assume that she'll post into March on like the third or fourth of March because like February's a short month and she usually needs more time, but we were noticing that she was posting a lot when the Mars Rover was landing. And then she was radio silence and then on February 28 we see a social media post that says horoscopes are going up within the hour and I was, I was doing something so I didn't see it until then like three or four or five hours. And one of my friends texts me is like, it's, it's up and I'm like why do you mean it's up? It's February 28. March horoscopes are up?

Alex: Shocking.

Laura: Shocking. I mean, I mean, we were panic texting each other, and we were worried.

Alex: We were really worried.

Laura: We were worried. We were truly worried. I was trying to remember if there's ever been a time in the 14 or 15 years that I've read Susan Miller where she posted early. Sometimes she has been able to do it on the first of the month like late at night, but I cannot remember a time when she was early. So, I mean it is very funny that for Susan Miller to be earlier on time gives us cause for concern

Alex: But it's like the constant late posting, even though it's late, it's still consistent.

Laura: Yes, exactly.

Alex: I've grown to rely on that.

Laura: Exactly.

Alex: There was no, you know, for the past few months, she's been doing like at least a few tweets, social media posts, like I'm working on it. Writing Scorpio. Editors are standing by. We got none of that. One post, it's up, tell your friends.

Laura: Yeah. So you and I panicked, and then we were like, is there an explanation for why it's early? Like, are eyes so much better? Is Courtney helping her? Like, why is she now 25 years into her career on time? And so we ran to the Note from Susan Miller where the mystery only deepened. So Alex, what did that note say? Was there an explanation for why she was early?

Alex: I'm gonna say “explanation” is not the right word, but she did give us something. “Dear reader, I have exciting news to share with you that I think you will want to investigate, but I can't tell you until Tuesday, March 2. I wish I could tell you today. Please come back to read my Note from Susan Miller on March 2 to hear all about it.” And then she goes on to say how she will remind us with push notifications, etc. I mean but keep in mind this is this is February 28.

Laura: Then she says, March 2 she will have, so we don't have any more information on why she was early. And then, and then she'll come back March 2 to the Note from Susan Miller, which I don't mean to be rude, but I don't know that I ever started reading the Note from Susan Miller until we had the podcast so I don't know if anybody else saw that warning, but you and I thought it was cause for more alarm.

Alex: Much more alarm. Like the whole Susan Miller system, I was reeling. I felt like her whole system had broken down, because I was like we didn't get these like teaser posts on social media and then you astutely pointed out that what she was doing with the Note with kind of the same game of what she would do before.

Laura: It’s not now it's not now when you expect it it's not now, but definitely standing by, but she had a concrete of Tuesday, March 2. And one of my other friends pointed out that like time has no money to her so like, why are you so worried about March 2 versus the 28th, and I was like I don't know but it's just it's erratic and I don't like it.

Alex: Yeah, I didn't like it at all. I thought my entire world had been

Laura: Yeah, because we have said like the only comfort we have in the pandemic is that she's always late.

Alex: Right. Right. Don't deliver your product on time, Susan. It’s really detrimental to our health.

Laura: Really, and then she said it was something that you will want to investigate. So then, then you and I were like okay what are, let's just get let's make our guesses now and then we will confirm on March 2. So when’s she like, you will want to investigate, I was like it's not a personal update then, it's got to be Susan Miller business woman has something yeah tell us. Alex: Yeah, right. We knew we ruled out pretty fast that it was personal and it was not astrological. It was not like, I'm going to come back on March 2 and I'm going to tell you this great thing about the universe. We knew that was not it, so we had a few ideas.

Laura: Yes, what were our predictions?

Alex: We thought perhaps it was some kind of media opportunity so maybe Susan was getting a new TV show. It occurred to you, rightfully so, it could be a podcast.

Laura: Yes, because she tells everyone in like every horoscope that you might be starting a blog or a podcast, so I was like it's, it's that and that's why she hasn't responded to our podcast, because she’s starting her own. And then, then, it was like oh is that is that concerning, and then I was like no because I was thinking as Laura von Holt the businesswoman lessons I've learned from Susan Miller the business woman, are that if I was someone was searching for a podcast by her they would they would find ours, it would pop up so I just was like, it will be okay.

Alex: Right, right.

Laure: But then also, we would just pivot into like critiquing her podcast.

Alex: Which would have been more content for us. Yeah, we're pretty sure it was a media opportunity and then we thought, okay, well, the fact that she put that clear date in there come back on March 2, we thought maybe it was some kind of like business change or business opportunity like she was partnering with someone or there was like some merger, something that there was a contract and so she said I can't talk about this until March 2.

Laura: Yeah I was thinking of like when people get TV shows and then they want to announce it on their Instagram but they have to wait like Busy Philipps will be like I want to tell you about my TV show and then like the studio was like no no no Busy, you have to wait till Deadline announces it first, so we're like, oh, Susan's waiting for Deadline.com to announce it.

Alex: Exactly. Yeah, I did think also, even though this would be horrifying, maybe she was like putting up some kind of paywall, like putting certain content behind the wall. And then we had one more guess, which was that it was something to do with NASA, because she has been so invested in the whole thing with the Mars Rover, plus we learned in the last, I think it was the last horoscope, that...]]>HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PISCES! It’s your time to shine. 

In a shocking turn of events, Susan Miller posted her March horoscopes early! And to confuse matters even more, she included a cryptic note to her readers instructing them to return to her website on March 2 for ‘exciting news’  Laura and Alex start this episode by trying to make sense of the unexpectedly early horoscopes and the strange “Note from Susan Miller,” and then talk through the feelings of confusion and betrayal that resulted from her underwhelming announcement. 

Laura and Alex then give summaries of all the signs’ forecasts, which can be found at the following timestamps: 

Pisces: 25:21

Aries: 26:43

Taurus: 27:44

Gemini: 32:12

Cancer: 34:10

Leo: 35:07

Virgo: 34:43

Libra: 38:36

Scorpio: 39:27

Sagittarius: 46:19

Capricorn: 48:56

Aquarius: 50:17

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 53:08

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Order a sample of Dolly Parton’s new perfume: https://scentbeauty.com/products/dolly-eau-de-parfum-3ml
• Watch Lucy and Ethel at the chocolate factory (a must-see for Capricorns this month): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkQ58I53mjk 
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

TRANSCRIPT: 

Laura: Hello, friends, listeners of the podcast. Welcome to our March episode. Me, Laura von Holt here with

Alex: I'm Alex Gershuny. Welcome. Thank you for listening.

Laura: Yeah, we have a lot to cover. Some big developments have happened in the world of Susan Miller, and to sum it all up before we start, I'll just say that it is Pisces season, and I think that we are underwater.

Alex: I think that's the perfect way to put it. You know, I, I thought we'd have kind of a calm month, to be perfectly honest, I thought, you know, well, you know we had an exciting February, we did the special romance episode and I was like okay well March is going to be, you know, standard going through horoscopes. I was very wrong. Susan did not disappoint. That may not be the right word, but we’ll explain.

Laura: Yeah. So I think let's just get into what threw us for the loop. You know now that we have a podcast, Alex and I the week before, or the last week of the month, we were like, when do we think she’ll post her horoscope when we record the podcast and we were like well February's a short month, so let's assume that she'll post into March on like the third or fourth of March because like February's a short month and she usually needs more time, but we were noticing that she was posting a lot when the Mars Rover was landing. And then she was radio silence and then on February 28 we see a social media post that says horoscopes are going up within the hour and I was, I was doing something so I didn't see it until then like three or four or five hours. And one of my friends texts me is like, it's, it's up and I'm like why do you mean it's up? It's February 28. March horoscopes are up?

Alex: Shocking.

Laura: Shocking. I mean, I mean, we were panic texting each other, and we were worried.

Alex: We were really worried.

Laura: We were worried. We were truly worried. I was trying to remember if there's ever been a time in the 14 or 15 years that I've read Susan Miller where she posted early. Sometimes she has been able to do it on the first of the month like late at night, but I cannot remember a time when she was early. So, I mean it is very funny that for Susan Miller to be earlier on time gives us cause for concern

Alex: But it's like the constant late posting, even though it's late, it's still consistent.

Laura: Yes, exactly.

Alex: I've grown to rely on that.

Laura: Exactly.

Alex: There was no, you know, for the past few months, she's been doing like at least a few tweets, social media posts, like I'm working on it. Writing Scorpio. Editors are standing by. We got none of that. One post, it's up, tell your friends.

Laura: Yeah. So you and I panicked, and then we were like, is there an explanation for why it's early? Like, are eyes so much better? Is Courtney helping her? Like, why is she now 25 years into her career on time? And so we ran to the Note from Susan Miller where the mystery only deepened. So Alex, what did that note say? Was there an explanation for why she was early?

Alex: I'm gonna say “explanation” is not the right word, but she did give us something. “Dear reader, I have exciting news to share with you that I think you will want to investigate, but I can't tell you until Tuesday, March 2. I wish I could tell you today. Please come back to read my Note from Susan Miller on March 2 to hear all about it.” And then she goes on to say how she will remind us with push notifications, etc. I mean but keep in mind this is this is February 28.

Laura: Then she says, March 2 she will have, so we don't have any more information on why she was early. And then, and then she'll come back March 2 to the Note from Susan Miller, which I don't mean to be rude, but I don't know that I ever started reading the Note from Susan Miller until we had the podcast so I don't know if anybody else saw that warning, but you and I thought it was cause for more alarm.

Alex: Much more alarm. Like the whole Susan Miller system, I was reeling. I felt like her whole system had broken down, because I was like we didn't get these like teaser posts on social media and then you astutely pointed out that what she was doing with the Note with kind of the same game of what she would do before.

Laura: It’s not now it's not now when you expect it it's not now, but definitely standing by, but she had a concrete of Tuesday, March 2. And one of my other friends pointed out that like time has no money to her so like, why are you so worried about March 2 versus the 28th, and I was like I don't know but it's just it's erratic and I don't like it.

Alex: Yeah, I didn't like it at all. I thought my entire world had been

Laura: Yeah, because we have said like the only comfort we have in the pandemic is that she's always late.

Alex: Right. Right. Don't deliver your product on time, Susan. It’s really detrimental to our health.

Laura: Really, and then she said it was something that you will want to investigate. So then, then you and I were like okay what are, let's just get let's make our guesses now and then we will confirm on March 2. So when’s she like, you will want to investigate, I was like it's not a personal update then, it's got to be Susan Miller business woman has something yeah tell us. Alex: Yeah, right. We knew we ruled out pretty fast that it was personal and it was not astrological. It was not like, I'm going to come back on March 2 and I'm going to tell you this great thing about the universe. We knew that was not it, so we had a few ideas.

Laura: Yes, what were our predictions?

Alex: We thought perhaps it was some kind of media opportunity so maybe Susan was getting a new TV show. It occurred to you, rightfully so, it could be a podcast.

Laura: Yes, because she tells everyone in like every horoscope that you might be starting a blog or a podcast, so I was like it's, it's that and that's why she hasn't responded to our podcast, because she’s starting her own. And then, then, it was like oh is that is that concerning, and then I was like no because I was thinking as Laura von Holt the businesswoman lessons I've learned from Susan Miller the business woman, are that if I was someone was searching for a podcast by her they would they would find ours, it would pop up so I just was like, it will be okay.

Alex: Right, right.

Laure: But then also, we would just pivot into like critiquing her podcast.

Alex: Which would have been more content for us. Yeah, we're pretty sure it was a media opportunity and then we thought, okay, well, the fact that she put that clear date in there come back on March 2, we thought maybe it was some kind of like business change or business opportunity like she was partnering with someone or there was like some merger, something that there was a contract and so she said I can't talk about this until March 2.

Laura: Yeah I was thinking of like when people get TV shows and then they want to announce it on their Instagram but they have to wait like Busy Philipps will be like I want to tell you about my TV show and then like the studio was like no no no Busy, you have to wait till Deadline announces it first, so we're like, oh, Susan's waiting for Deadline.com to announce it.

Alex: Exactly. Yeah, I did think also, even though this would be horrifying, maybe she was like putting up some kind of paywall, like putting certain content behind the wall. And then we had one more guess, which was that it was something to do with NASA, because she has been so invested in the whole thing with the Mars Rover, plus we learned in the last, I think it was the last horoscope, that she’s got a direct line to NASA so we were like, oh my god possible merger or contract with NASA.

Laura: Yes. She was very into the Mars rover thing and in fact she was then I was looking at the Mars Rover thing I realized that like JPL was very involved in that one, and JPL is the one that she said she had a direct line to. So I was like, NASA could be a huge possibility. NASA’s expanding from Mars Rovers into astrology, and Susan’s gonna be like a leading like whatever the task force is when like Mars is conjunct Jupiter or something and I was like that’s absolutely gonna happen.

Alex: So I think we gave three great, great guesses, but we were not right.

Laura: We were not right. So then, let's fast forward to March 2. At midnight on March 2 I have a friend in Texas who texted me, it's, it's midnight on March 2, East Coast time, is it up yet and I was like, it is not up yet and thank you for caring. Thank you for listening to the podcast and thank you for caring.

Alex: Yeah, thank you.

Laura: Um, and then so you know night owl like Susan Miller, I wake up in the morning at a later hour than other people to a lot of text messages because it was in fact up. And it was not the announcement that anyone expected and so I got a lot of just text message that just had question marks in them. So then I read it and immediately panic texted you. What did it say, Alex?

Alex: I'm going to innocently pick up my phone. First of all I agree and despite the fact that she published the March forecasts on February 28, I did not think she was going to be posting her announcement on March 2 early in the day. It will be like six o'clock.

Laura: Yes, we have time.

Alex: Yeah, well, Susan, got a very exciting opportunity to… it seems like what they have paid her for is to write a somewhat long essay about the pandemic, the Age of Aquarius, and CBD sparkling water.

Laura: Yes okay but so wait so but back it up because the first few paragraphs are like it's been so stressful with the pandemic and I'm like okay she's really talking about the pandemic, as she does because you know Susan Miller is one of my favorite epidemiologists so I was like okay okay pandemics stress stress stress, and I was like she's going to make a major prediction or something where we get to. And then she's like, and so I have partnered with the CBD fizzy water and then launches into a description of how there's going to be a manuscript that's published on their website about the company, about, and then all of the fizzy water and then how she has… So so first of all, I'm just reeling because I'm like, wait, this whole thing was about CBD fizzy water, how does that relate to astrology? Then she's like there are four flavors and I've assigned them to the elements, so air signs, one flavor, earth signs, another flavor water signs, etc. Okay. And then she talks about how she likes to have one when she's stressed out. Right so it's the whole thing is already just bizarre, it’s nothing like we we anticipated or that made sense, like if she said like, I'm partnering with Goop and now we are going to have like vibrators based on your astrological sign, I would have been like, okay, okay, or like, like or if she's like I'm now writing a book about astrology that felt like it was completely out of left field, and the fact that it was a CBD fizzy water it made me think about when I get on Instagram some DM from like a random jewelry company that's like, we want to collab and, like, that means they want me to like wear a necklace or something, and then I get a gift card. Yeah, so I was like how, what does this deal, how did this come about? And then she said oh Courtney had alerted her to it. Courtney her assistant.

Alex: Yes.

Laura: Yeah, so it was nothing at all like what you would expect and also seemed like very odd that a CBD fizzy water didn't really fit with her brand but then she was like loosely connecting it to astrology, then, then I went to the website, and there was nothing about her on it because I made it sound like she was a big partner. There's nothing about Susan on the website. And then I see that like Martha Stewart through another line of the company has her own line of like CBD stuff which makes sense for Martha Stewart because she and Snoop Dogg have a show. But it's not Susan Miller branded it's like so literally see it seems like they paid her to kind of talk about it but also she just like did it in this in there like Note to Susan Miller blog post, which again we don't really know if anybody reads. And she doesn't start it off in like here's my announcement, she starts it off like a concerned note about the pandemic.

Alex: Right. And I expect Susan to be over the top, and like, bring the drama. But she laid it on so thick in the beginning of that note where she’s like, the pandemic has been so hard, I talk to the people who translate my horoscopes in Asia, etc., and we’re all having this terrible experience but we’re stronger for it because we’ve come together and life is so hard in pandemic time, and then it’s like, buy CBD water.

Laura: Which, the CBD water is only available in the US.

Alex: Exactly. So it’s not helping the people that are translating.

Laura: So then, so it's not even like a very good influencer deal where she's like branded it’s just like she wrote this loose kind of blog posts about it on her website. There's no social media posts about it. She did make an Instagram story that was like my news is up, check out the note but like there's no branded posts on Instagram. It's not a very good influencing job is just what I'm going to say there. And then, and then this is the part Alex so first of all I'm like, what the heck is this, why is this, none of this makes sense. And then she's listing the stressors that like have led her to indulge in the CBD and this is where I think, I think I broke. I broke. It was like, sometimes, like, oh no my assistant Courtney is going out of town. Oh, stress on me. Oh no, like my web, which we know her web team we have so many questions, is like, there's been a potential hack, no wonder I don't sleep at night. And then what was the third one, it was like it was something about oh there was like a customer service issue with her wall calendar. And those are the things where she's like, led to drink CBD water and then feels relaxed. And I was like, Susan, you started off with the pandemic like we are in a situation of global mass death like we are beyond, we are beyond CBD water, like that's not that's not really going to help. You start out and then it was also you start off with so much concern and then offer me, I mean it really did feel like it was in line with the past year of the pandemic where people, like there's no, there's no water in Mississippi right now. And she’s like, have some CBD water and I was like this is not, read the room. Like your horoscopes are comforting but this this influencing, it was just inelegantly done and also bizarre. And then I kind of felt like that I felt bad because I was like, did I expect too much from her, because usually we’re like everything is things she does that's like a little kooky we're like it's part of the charm it's part of the charm, you're like, but this was like not charming, and I wasn't charmed and I felt like a little disappointed and maybe a little bit betrayed because it was just so it was so poorly executed, as well as just being lame, I guess.

Alex: It’s lame. I think I texted you I felt swindled, which maybe is an overreaction on my part, but there was so much build up and then we went we went back to our guesses and we were like, okay, well we were giving her way too much credit,

Laura: We were making like informed business decisions. So Yeah, okay, yeah so we were giving her like a ton of credit, about what this business decision would be, and then we got some CBD fizzy water, and I did have a thought that there was like kind of like mercury retrograde was written all over this deal, that like she couldn't announce it till way till we were way the clear I guess or something but also that it was just so like weirdly done that it, I don't know, it had like the best, the most like benefit of the doubt I could give her is that like there was some astrological confusion amongst the execution. But also on behalf of the water company, I'm like, why and again back to the timing of this, if I were wanting to give a sponsorship to Susan Miller, my inclination would be like, like let's wait, let's not announce it until a few days into March because we know you're always late with your horoscopes, and then with your horoscopes let’s announce this this thing, when people are going to your site to look for it, but instead she posts the horoscopes early, which none of her audience is conditioned to expect. Then she says in this one little Note, which isn't what everyone reads because they go to their,  their own horoscope first, we don't know that they already. I mean she might have web analytics that tell us that people read this Note to Susan Miller, but assuming they go to their own horoscope they don't read her note, she tells you in the note come back March 2, then on March 2 she posts this kind of inelegant blog post. When you go to the website of the things she's talking there's no mention of her. In fact, it wasn't until today that we saw her blog posts that she'd written for them.

Alex: And that was only because I searched her name in their search box. There’s nothing on the landing page.

Laura: So as the professional that works for the sponsor, none of the timing makes sense for them either. Like Susan, we know like has her own sense of time, fine, but as a sponsor there wasn't anything, like I would have been like when you announce your horoscopes on March 2 third or fourth we don't mind when then, like, announce the water...]]>358d1ecc-c7e4-4f3f-a1d3-3ec2530456e0Sat, 06 Mar 2021 17:30:00 -040057:24falsefull1551In a shocking turn of events, Susan Miller posted her March horoscopes early! And to confuse matters even more, she included a cryptic note to her readers instructing them to return to her website on March 2 for ‘exciting news’ Laura von Holt and Alex Gershuny start this episode by trying to make sense of it all.February 2021 Romance Roundup: A Valentine to Susan MillerHappy Valentine’s Day! And Happy Galentine’s Day! In this romance roundup, Laura and Alex discuss all things related to love in the time of a pandemic. They share their views on the capitalist trappings of a traditional Valentine’s Day, the importance of Galentine’s Day, and the need for singles to take the wheel. They then give a recap of the romance predictions of Astrology Zone’s February 2021 horoscopes to let you know what’s in store for you on February 14th. Laura and Alex even give some suggestions to help you celebrate the day, whether single or in a relationship, to supplement Susan Miller’s rather conventional idea of a Valentine’s Day date. 

Laura’s and Alex’s romance roundup for each sign can be found at the following timestamps: 

Aquarius: 06:35

Pisces: 09:17

Aries: 11:43

Taurus: 12:38

Gemini:15:06

Cancer: 16:10

Leo: 17:00

Virgo:19:50

Libra: 20:51

Scorpio: 23:10

Sagittarius: 25:20

Capricorn: 29:49

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great at http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

This month, instead of recapping only Taurus and Scorpio, Laura and Alex divide and conquer all twelve signs to let you know what’s in store for you in February. This month’s forecasts are full of information on the new moon, Mercury retrograde, and COVID safety. And listen carefully to find out if your sign can expect to receive a bucket full of money later this month (spoiler: a lot of them can!). The show ends with a discussion of what Laura and Alex learned about Susan Miller’s personal life through this month’s horoscopes and Susan’s #1 tip for coping with Mercury retrograde.

Laura’s and Alex’s thoughts on each sign’s forecast can be found at the following timestamps: 

Aquarius: 13:40

Pisces: 18:29

Aries: 22:32

Taurus: 24:29

Gemini: 30:47

Cancer: 34:30

Leo: 38:37

Virgo: 40:45

Libra: 43:24

Scorpio: 46:14

Sagittarius: 49:52

Capricorn: 53:53

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.

Links:

• Jet Propulsion Laboratory - Susan Miller’s NASA connection! https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great at http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

There is plenty to analyze in “A Note from Susan Miller” to her readers, where Susan tackles everything from the universe’s Grand Mutation to the ins and outs of her wall calendar shipments. A Taurus and Scorpio, respectively, Laura and Alex share the highlights of their January 2021 horoscopes and discuss the predictions and practical advice Susan has given them based on the movement of the planets (hint: Mercury will be retrograde later this month!). The show ends with a recap of what this month’s posts have taught us about Susan’s personal life and with Laura and Alex’s final thoughts on their horoscopes for the new year.

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy (and support her planets moving into Aquarius in the 10th house) by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• The January “Elsa” social media post that is maybe about megalomania, maybe about coming into your true power: https://twitter.com/astrologyzone/status/1345602290401636352
• Share your own Susan Miller thoughts with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com