Becoming Unhindered

Dabbling on the Dark Side?: Why "Harmless" Habits May Be Hurting You

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0500

🎙️ Episode Summary:

In this candid and eye-opening episode, I talk heart-to-heart from a coaching perspective about something many believers don't realize: dabbling in the dark side—yes, even unintentionally.

From horoscopes to Ouija boards, and even certain entertainment or exercises like yoga, this episode explores how these "harmless" practices may open spiritual doors that leave us mentally anxious and spiritually oppressed.

You'll be challenged to ask yourself: Are you unknowingly blending light and darkness? And more importantly: What is God inviting you to step away from?

This isn't about shame—it's about freedom, healing, and choosing LIFE.

⏱️ Time Stamps & Episode Flow:

[01:16] — Intro & inspiration behind the episode (a car with "Blessed" and an astrology sticker)
[01:50] — Unpopular opinion: Are Christians playing with fire? (List of common dark practices)
[2:58] — Mental health impact: Fear, anxiety, control & seeking the future
[04:13] — Spiritual consequences: Demonic influence, not possession, and open doors
[06:17] — Eye-opening stats & quotes (Jeremiah Johnston’s research)
[06:54] — Choose Life Challenge
[08:30] — Encouragement to trust the Holy Spirit and pursue God’s best

📌 Key Takeaways:

Even “small” spiritual compromises can open big doors.
Mental health and spiritual health are deeply connected.
Just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s harmless.
The Holy Spirit is faithful to show you what may be blocking your relationship with the Lord.

💬 Challenge for the Listener:

Ask God to show you any place—past or present—where you've opened a door to darkness. Repent and receive His forgiveness. Then close the door for good. 🌿

DISCLAIMER

I am a licensed professional counselor, however this podcast (and the info shared on my blogs and social media) is not therapy. It is for informational purposes only; this is not a professional therapy relationship; and it is not personal advice to your specific situation. If you wonder whether professional counseling may be helpful for you in this season of life, check out this article that outlines when you might need to seek the help of a professional counselor and how to find a good one: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

LINKS

Book: Unanswered by Jeremiah Johnston

Christian Post Article: Apologists Warning to Christians on the Paranormal

https://www.christianpost.com/news/apologists-warning-to-christians-on-the-paranormal-once-you-open-door-to-the-demonic-its-hard-to-close.html

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep27 Daily Check-In - A Soul Care Habit to Slow Down and Reconnect

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0500

🎧 Episode Summary:

In this episode, we explore the power of a simple but transformative soul care habit: the daily emotional check-in. If you've ever felt disconnected from yourself, struggled to recall your highs and lows from the week, or noticed stress and anxiety sneaking in—this practice is for you. Learn how taking just 1–2 minutes a day to pause, breathe, and name your emotions can help you reduce stress and reconnect with what truly matters.

🕰️ Timestamps:

1:06 – Introduction

1:57 – Why Emotional Check-Ins Are Important

Emotions as data
“Name it to tame it” – managing vs. being managed by emotions
Connection between emotional and spiritual health (Dr. Jim Wilder & Dr. Anita Phillips)

3:49 – Who Especially Needs This

If you’re a firstborn, caretaker, or had emotionally unavailable parents
The habit of tuning into everyone else but neglecting yourself

4:11 – How To Do a Daily Check-In

Simple 3-step process

4:27 – Real-Life Example from Host

6:04 – Benefits for Kids, Couples, and Families

Build emotional vocabulary
Reduce problem behaviors
Use check-ins during dinner, car rides, or before bed

✨ Key Takeaways:

Daily check-ins help you slow down and reconnect with yourself and God.
Naming your emotions is the first step toward emotional regulation and spiritual growth.
Emotional maturity impacts spiritual maturity: your emotional health matters deeply.
This simple 1–2 minute practice can benefit not just you, but your relationships with your kids, spouse, and community.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep26 Even Good Christian Girls Get Mad: What To Do With Hidden Anger & Resentment

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0500

💬 Episode Overview

What if your anger wasn’t a problem, but a pointer? In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the truth about hidden anger and resentment — especially the kind we’ve been taught to ignore or hide. If you’ve ever felt guilty for feeling angry, or you’ve been stuffing it down for so long that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore… this one's for you.

We talk about the gift of anger, how Jesus and Moses both expressed it, and how suppressing it can lead to depression, emotional disconnection, and even damage our relationships. You’ll walk away with practical, healthy, and godly ways to process and release anger — and maybe even start your healing journey today.

🕰️ Time Stamps

1:15 – Intro: What comes to mind when you hear the word anger?

1:40 – The 8 core feelings (Chip Dodd – Voice of the Heart)

1:55 – Anger as a God-given gift: It reveals our passion

2:30 – Biblical examples of godly anger: Jesus & Moses

3:13 – The danger of stuffing anger: emotional numbness & depression

4:10– My personal story with hidden anger and the healing process

6:20 – Are you hiding anger? Or exploding it?

6:28 - What about going to bed angry? (Ephesians 4:26 & Psalm 4:4)

7:00 – Plane analogy: Quick vs. slow processors of conflict

8:02 – Balloon analogy: What are you doing with your anger?

8:34 – Helping teens (or yourself) express anger in healthy ways

9:08 – DIY rage room ideas + physical ways to release anger

11:48 – Journaling prompts + what your anger is trying to tell you

12:35 – The power of forgiveness: Resentment keeps you stuck

13:08 – Resources & Choose Life Challenge

🔑 Key Takeaways

Anger is not a sin — it’s a signal that points to your passion, purpose, and values. Sometimes angry behaviors can be sinful, but the feeling itself is not sin.
All emotions, including anger, were created by God and are good.
Suppressing anger can lead to depression, disconnection, and emotional numbness.
You can express anger in healthy and godly ways — verbally, physically, and creatively.
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful ways to release hidden anger and resentment.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

Book: The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd
Episode 20: How to forgive and start healing
How to Find a Christian Counselor: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor
Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter: Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep25 3 Lies Anxiety Tells you & What God Says Instead

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0500

💬 Episode Summary:

Do you love Jesus but still feel anxious all the time? You're not alone. In today’s episode, we’re talking about the unspoken struggles many Christian women face—like fear, overwhelm, and emotional exhaustion—and the 3 root lies anxiety whispers that keep us stuck.

We’ll look at what God says instead, how to start shifting your focus from fear to freedom, and why knowing God by His names might just change everything.

Whether you battle fear of failure, fear of the future, or fear of not being enough—this is for you.

⏱️ Time Stamps:

1:15 – Welcome + A message to the silently struggling

1:49 – Why we need to talk about what’s not talked about in church

2:18 – The 3 root fears anxiety feeds off of (based on Ed Welch’s Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest)

4:35 – 3 lies anxiety tells you (and how to recognize them in your own life)

7:24 – How hard things shape our beliefs—and how lies take root

7:42 – Replacing lies with truth (Christian CBT + Scripture)

9:39 – Names of God that speak directly to your fears

11:54 – Practical challenge: 4 steps to stop the spiral

13:28 – Final encouragement + what’s coming next on the BU Podcast

✨ Key Takeaways:

Anxiety often stems from 3 root fears: Death/Harm, Judgment/Rejection, and Fear of the Future
These fears manifest as lies: “I’m not safe,” “I’m not enough,” “I’m alone—it’s all up to me”
God speaks truth over every lie: You are safe in His presence, enough in Christ, and never alone
Knowing God by His names can reshape how you experience fear and anxiety
Practical steps: identify the lie, speak the truth, renounce the lie, replace it with Scripture

DISCLAIMER

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

Running Scared by Ed Welch
Names of God published by The Daily Grace Co.: https://thedailygraceco.com/products/the-names-of-god-handbook
How to Find a Christian Counselor: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor
Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter: Https://shelleyspence.com

💌 Connect:

If this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend or leave a review—it helps more women find freedom in Christ.

Follow along on Instagram @becoming_unhindered for encouragement between episodes. 💛

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep24: How to Self-Soothe: A Biblical Tool for Mental and Spiritual Health

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0500

💡 Episode Overview:

In today’s episode, I’m diving into one of the most important skills for lifelong mental and spiritual health: the ability to self-soothe—but not in the way the world teaches. We’re talking about what it means to quiet your soul in God’s presence, and I’ll share a powerful, Biblical, and practical tool you can use to retrain your brain to run to Jesus in both the highs and lows of life. Whether you’re overwhelmed, overjoyed, or just overstimulated by life, this is for you.

⏱️ Time Stamps:

01:18 – Welcome + Why this topic matters now

01:53 – What is self-soothing and why it’s essential

02:25 – The chaos of modern life and our desperate need for soul rest

02:39 – What the Bible says about calming ourselves (Psalm 131 + 62)

03:05 – Common “false rest” habits and how they fail us

03:44 – How Moses found calm in God’s presence

04:52 – Introducing the Biblical tool: The Immanuel Approach

05:54 – Step-by-step guide to the practice

07:05 – Why this practice helps train your brain to rest in God

07:26 – When and how to use this tool throughout your day

07:46 – Final encouragement + invitation to practice with Jesus

✅ Key Takeaways:

Self-soothing is a skill we can train, and God has already equipped us for it.
The Bible models emotional regulation through God’s presence—not distraction or escape.
Psalm 131:2 teaches us that we can calm and quiet our own souls with God's help.
The Immanuel Approach is a simple 2-step practice rooted in gratitude and connection with Jesus. I learned it from Jim Wilder.
The more we practice this, the more natural it becomes to run to God instead of false comforts.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep23 Navigating Life’s Transitions with Intention & Grace

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 15:00:00 -0500

📝 Episode Description:

In this honest and heartfelt episode, I’m opening up about how I’m personally navigating a season full of life transitions — from my youngest heading off to college to embracing new spiritual rhythms and community connections.

Whether you’re heading off to college, sending your child off to kindergarten, starting a new job, adjusting to a new school year, or simply feeling the weight of change, this conversation is for you.

We’ll explore how to process transition through a biblical lens — with practical tools, emotional honesty, and spiritual encouragement to help you move forward with intention, grace, and faith.

“Behold, I’m doing a new thing…” — Isaiah 43:19

⏱️ Episode Timestamps:

01:11 – Welcome + intro to this season of life transitions

01:30 – Isaiah 43:19: “Behold I’m doing a new thing…”

01:42 – My personal story: new rhythms, empty nest, new community

02:05 – Common life transitions many listeners are facing right now

02:28 – Why your emotions during transition matter

02:45 – What your feelings are trying to tell you (and how to listen)

03:45 – How gratitude and journaling help you process change

04:30 – Letting yourself grieve, pause, and celebrate without guilt

05:22 – Evaluating your plate: what needs to shift in this season?

05:50 – Becoming more aware of God’s presence (Jehovah Shammah)

06:50 – Rebuilding community after a season of isolation

07:59 – Choose Life Challenge – 6 intentional practices to try

🔑 Key Takeaways:

You’re not alone in life transitions. Whether it’s career, school, or personal growth, seasons of change are part of the journey — and you don’t have to face them alone.
Emotions are messengers, not enemies. Learn how to address grief, anxiety, and excitement in healthy, God-honoring ways.
Faith-centered reflection matters. Daily gratitude, journaling, and prayer help anchor you in God’s presence during times of uncertainty.
Make space for intentional living. Evaluate your current season: what needs to be added, removed, or adjusted?
God is always present in the unknown. Discover how His peace and presence can ground you in the midst of transition.
Community brings strength. Don't underestimate the power of connection, support, and spiritual growth through meaningful relationships.
Take one small step today. Simple, daily practices can help you walk through change with purpose and peace.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

🔗 Share + Connect:

If this episode encouraged you, consider sharing it with a friend or on social media. We grow stronger together — especially in seasons of change.

Follow the show and leave a review to help more women like you find biblical encouragement for every season of life.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep22 Feeling Distant from God? Try This Exercise to Reconnect with His Presence

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0500

✨ Sneak Peek:

Is your heart feeling disconnected from God? Are anxiety, overthinking, or spiritual dryness creeping in? In this episode, I guide you through a powerful exercise I use with Christian clients, church members, and friends to help restore intimacy with the Lord. Rooted in biblical truth and influenced by Freedom Prayer, Immanuel Approach, and other inner healing models, this simple practice can help you hear His voice, sense His nearness, and identify what’s standing in the way of deeper connection.

Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, spiritual numbness, or just want to feel closer to Jesus—you’re invited to pause and meet Him right here.

🕰️ Timestamps:

1:29 – Intro: Why this exercise matters in your walk with God

2:22– The link between spiritual distance and emotional symptoms (anxiety, overthinking, etc.)

3:11 – What Scripture says about God's presence: joy, rest, boldness, freedom

3:34 – Guided exercise: meeting with Jesus

5:29 – What if you don’t feel or see anything? Why that’s okay (and what to ask instead)

5:57 – Roadblocks to intimacy: unforgiveness, lies, sin—and biblical ways to remove them

8:15 – Discerning the real Jesus vs. “fake Jesus” shaped by wounds or false beliefs

9:19 – Using this tool as a foundation for deeper work

9:55 – Final encouragement: Jesus is ready to meet you. Are you ready to come close?

🔑 Key Takeaways:

Spiritual distance from God often leads to mental and emotional symptoms—but it doesn’t have to stay that way.
God’s presence brings joy, rest, freedom, and strength. You were made to dwell in it.
This simple Jesus-encounter exercise can help you discern His nearness, hear His voice, and notice what may be standing in the way.
Unforgiveness, ungodly beliefs, and unconfessed sin are common barriers—but the Bible offers clear pathways to healing.
If your image of Jesus doesn’t align with Matthew 11:28–30, it might be a false view shaped by past wounds—not the real Jesus. Scripture helps re-align your perspective.
Asking “What” questions instead of “Why” often opens the door for God to reveal truth, healing, and breakthrough.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

Keys to Freedom by Mercy Multiplied

Freedom Tools by Andy Reece

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

BecomingUnhindered.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep21 Breaking Generational Patterns: What Ends With You

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 07:00:00 -0500

Are you repeating patterns from your family without even realizing it?

In this powerful episode, we dive into generational patterns—the behaviors, beliefs, habits, and emotional cycles passed down through your family line. From addiction and anger to faith, generosity, and work ethic, we explore how these inherited traits shape your life... and how to break the negative ones and build a healthier legacy.

Whether you come from a deeply broken family or one that looks picture-perfect from the outside, every family passes on both negative and positive patterns. And the good news? With God's help, you can choose what continues—and what ends with you.

⏱️ Timestamps:

0:20 – What if your habits aren’t just yours?

01:21 – What are generational patterns (definition + examples)

02:04 – This isn’t about blaming your parents—it’s about freedom

02:33 – Adopted or unsure of your history? Here’s how to start

03:19 – Identifying and growing the positive patterns in your family

04:59 – Recognizing common negative family cycles

05:53 – How to break unhealthy generational patterns (practical + spiritual tools)

07:29 – Real-life story: breaking a legacy of criticism

08:22 – What it means to be a transitional generation

09:42 – Choose Life Challenge: Start changing your legacy today

✅ Key Takeaways:

Generational patterns are passed down through families—both good and bad.
You can honor your family while still breaking destructive cycles.
If you’re adopted or disconnected from your history, you can still identify and heal patterns through prayer and reflection.
Don’t overlook generational blessings—amplify and pass them on!
Use prayer, confession, and intentional choices to break negative spiritual and behavioral patterns.
You have the authority in Christ to say: “This ends with me.”

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

Keys to Freedom by Mercy Multiplied

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

🎧 Listen now to discover how to take inventory, choose life, and transform the legacy you leave behind—for yourself, your children, and generations to come.

Ep20 The Power of Forgiveness: Letting Go for Lasting Healing

Tue, 22 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0500

🎧 Sneak Peak:

In this episode, we're diving deep into the healing power of forgiveness. Is it really possible to forgive someone who hurt you deeply? Does forgiving mean forgetting?

We explore myths that keep people stuck in bitterness, unpack biblical truth about forgiveness, and share a powerful red felt activity from author Lisa TerKeurst that will shift how you see the process of letting go.

⏱ Episode Time Stamps:

01:14 – Intro & Why Forgiveness Matters

02:10 – Forgiveness Impacts our Health

03:02 – Common Myths About Forgiveness (Debunked!)

06:40 – What the Bible Really Says About Forgiveness

07:26 – Forgiving the Fact and the Impact

08:36 – Lisa TerKeurst’s Red Felt Forgiveness Activity

11:42 – Choose Life Challenge for This Week

12:14 - Final Thoughts: Forgiving Ourselves, Forgiving God

✅ Key Takeaways:

Forgiveness is not about excusing someone else’s behavior—it’s about freeing yourself from bitterness.
Forgiveness doesn’t always equal reconciliation, and it doesn’t mean pretending the hurt didn’t happen.
Myths like “forgive and forget” or “time heals all wounds” can prevent true healing.
Scripture consistently calls believers to forgive, not because it’s easy, but because it reflects God's grace.
Lisa TerKeurst’s red felt activity powerfully illustrates how forgiveness is a layered, often ongoing process—one that God honors even when it doesn’t feel complete.

DISCLAIMER

💬 Mentioned in This Episode:

Lisa TerKeurst – “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget”
Key Scriptures: Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 18:21–22, Colossians 3:13
John Hopkins article on forgiveness study: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it
How to Find a Christian Counselor: https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor
Sign up for my Inner Circle newsletter: Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep19 When Life Hits Hard: 4 Questions to Help You Begin to Heal

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0500

📌 Episode Description:

What do you do when life knocks the wind out of you—through trauma, grief, a painful memory, or something you never saw coming?

In this episode, we explore four simple but powerful questions to help you start processing pain and walking toward healing.

These trauma-informed tools can help bring clarity when your mind feels scattered.

Whether you’ve experienced a recent crisis or an old wound keeps resurfacing, this episode offers a gentle, practical guide to start making sense of the hurt—and hearing what God may want you to know in the midst of it.

🎧 Listen in and learn:

How trauma affects memory and emotional processing
4 healing questions to guide yourself (or someone else) through pain
Why asking “Why?” keeps us stuck—and the better question to ask
A powerful reminder of God’s goodness, even in suffering

⏱️ Timestamps:

01:03 – Episode intro: When life comes out of nowhere

01:40 – What inspired this episode

02:12 – Trauma, memory, and why our brains feel scattered

03:01 – Question #1: What happened?

03:21 – Question #2: How did you feel?

04:44 – Question #3: What was the hardest part for you?

05:41 – Why “why” questions can keep us stuck

06:12 – Bonus Question: God, what do You want me to know about this?

07:01 – A note on spiritual healing and God’s character

08:21 – Final encouragement and how to use these questions in real life

🧠 Key Takeaways

Trauma scatters the brain. Simple, clear questions help organize and name what happened.
Naming emotions matters. You can’t heal what you don’t name.
Getting to the hardest part reveals deeper fears—like abandonment, shame, or helplessness.
“Why?” isn’t always helpful. Asking God, “What do You want me to know?” invites healing insight.
God is not the source of our pain, but He is always present and able to heal it.

Next Episode:

We're unpacking myths of forgiveness and giving you a simple framework to finally let it go!

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

Trauma Healing Institute:

https://www.traumahealingbasics.org/three-questions

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck!

Ep18 Renewing Your Mind: A Biblical Approach to Breaking Negative Thought Patterns

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we dig into the “trunk” of your life—the beliefs that fuel your everyday behaviors.

If you’ve ever struggled with thoughts like “I’m not enough” or “I’ll always be anxious,” this one’s for you.

You’ll learn a simple but powerful, faith-based tool to identify and replace toxic beliefs with truth from God’s Word.

Get ready to renew your mind, shift your behaviors, and grow healthier “branches” in your life tree.

Grab a journal (or your favorite note app)—and maybe your most dramatic pen—because we’re going deep and practical.

TIMESTAMPS

01:12 – Welcome + quick recap of the “tree” life analogy

01:33 – The trunk = beliefs; why they matter more than we realize

01:48 – Identifying toxic beliefs and the role of repeated thoughts

02:12 – The “lie test”: does it align with God’s Word?

02:44 – Step-by-step tool for renewing your mind

04:01 – How to use Scripture to replace lies

05:17 – Why speaking truth out loud matters

06:21 – The 21-day challenge to rewire your thought life

07:43 – An example for you: sharing a lie of my own that I'm replacing

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Your behavior is rooted in belief. If you want lasting change, address the “trunk.”
Lies often sound true when repeated. Pay attention to your thought loops and spoken words.
Test your thoughts against Scripture. If it doesn’t align with God’s Word—or feels off when you add “in Jesus’ name” to the end—it’s probably a lie.
Use your voice. Combat negative thoughts not just by thinking differently, but by speaking truth out loud.
Daily repetition builds new belief. Practice speaking personalized Scripture truths for 21 days and watch how your inner narrative shifts.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

Keys to Freedom Study:

https://a.co/d/iyfE6Dd

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep17 Behind the Smile: Hidden Battles, False Comforts, and the Path to Real Freedom

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Behind the polished exterior and daily routines, many of us are fighting private emotional and spiritual battles—longing for healing, comfort, identity, and significance.

But instead of turning to Jesus, we often run to coping mechanisms like food, relationships, work, or addiction.

In this powerful episode, we explore how true freedom comes through complete surrender, and how to identify and release the “crutches” that may be holding you back.

Whether you’ve tried counseling that left your faith out of the process or are searching Scripture for answers but still feel stuck—this episode offers a life-changing invitation to surrender and experience deep, lasting healing.

TIMESTAMPS

01:14 – Introduction: The hidden struggle behind the smile
02:10 – First step in healing
03:20 – Emotional needs: identity, comfort, security, significance
03:34 – Common coping mechanisms we run to instead of Christ
04:19 – The spiritual consequence of relying on substitutes
04:47 – Biblical examples of full surrender: Elisha, Peter & Andrew
05:40 – Reflective questions: What are you holding back from God?
06:37 – Quick Recap
06:57 – Final encouragement: Choose Life Challenge
07:44 - Is surrender to the Lord a new concept for you?

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Many emotional and spiritual struggles remain hidden behind outward strength and busyness.
We all desire deep needs—comfort, security, significance—but often seek them in unhealthy or incomplete ways.
Coping mechanisms can become emotional and spiritual “crutches” that prevent us from fully leaning on Jesus.
Surrender is not just a one-time event; it’s a daily decision to trust God fully, in every area of life.
True freedom and healing are only found when we let go of substitutes and choose full dependence on Christ.
Biblical surrender is often radical and without a backup plan—just wholehearted trust.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

Keys to Freedom Study by Mercy Multiplied

DISCOVER:

https://discover.lwf.org/3-circles/#design

https://www.lwf.org/discover-jesus

https://www.gotquestions.org/take-up-your-cross.htmlHow to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep16 Do I Have to Dig Up the Past to Heal?

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 05:00:00 -0500

🔍 Episode Overview:

Ever had an outsized reaction and wondered, “Why did that hit me so hard?” You're not alone—and it might have more to do with your roots than the moment itself. In this episode, we explore whether healing requires revisiting the past, using the powerful metaphor of a tree: roots, trunk, and branches. We’ll talk about how belief systems are formed, how wounds become lies, and how true healing happens—not through behavior management, but through heart-level transformation with Jesus.

⏱️ Timestamps:

02:22 – The Tree Metaphor: Roots (events), trunk (beliefs), and branches (behaviors) explained
05:13 – Do We Have to Dig Into the Past?: Yes…and no (and why that’s good news)
05:52 – What Healing Actually Looks Like: From behavior modification to root transformation
06:19 – God's Timing & Triggers: How God reveals what needs healing
07:09 – Recap
08:26 - Practical Challenge: One step you can take this week toward healing

✅ Key Takeaways:

Our lives are like trees: behaviors (branches) grow from beliefs (trunk), which are nourished by life experiences (roots).
Many unhealthy behaviors are rooted in lies we believed during painful moments.
True healing doesn't come from just "chopping off" bad behaviors—it comes from letting God transform the roots.
We don’t have to obsessively dig through our past. God reveals what needs to be healed, in His timing.
Emotional triggers are not random—they’re often clues pointing to deeper roots that need attention and truth.

DISCLAIMER

📖 Resources Mentioned:

Keys to Freedom Bible study – Mercy Multiplied
https://mercymultiplied.com/keys-to-freedom

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://becomingunhindered.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep15 How to Contain Anxious Thoughts & Big Emotions—Without Stuffing Them

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 20:00:00 -0500

📋 Episode Summary:

Ever have big emotions or anxious thoughts crash your day—or your bedtime? In today’s episode, I’m sharing a powerful mental health tool that my clients absolutely love: the Container Exercise. It’s a simple, Jesus-centered strategy that helps you pause, contain, and return to overwhelming thoughts or feelings—without stuffing them or pretending they’re not there.

We’ll also unpack:

The real purpose of emotions from a faith-based perspective
The danger of ignoring or stuffing emotions
What it means to “contain” vs. “avoid”
A trauma-informed, Jesus-centered visualization exercise to manage emotions
Why this tool is especially helpful at bedtime, during stress, or when you’re short on time

If you’re tired of being ruled by your emotions—or if racing thoughts are wrecking your sleep—you’re in the right place.

TIMESTAMPS

01:27 - Purpose of emotions
02:05 - Emotions need attention
03:08 – What Scripture says about feelings and self-control
03:50 - When big emotions show up at inconvenient times
04:45 – Difference between containing and stuffing
05:15 – Step-by-step to handle big emotion
08:10 - Container Exercise (with Jesus!)
12:03 - Recap
12:53 – Choose Life Challenge: Try this Container Exercise again today...and before bed tonight

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Emotions are data.

Emotions don't make good leaders for our lives or decisions.

Learn to contain emotion, rather than stuff or avoid. When you contain emotion, you set an appointment with yourself to process the emotion (and whatever's behind it) for a later time, when you can give it your full attention.

DISCLAIMER

Mentioned in This Episode:

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

Container Exercise – From Dr. Ricky Greenwald (Trauma Institute NY), with Christ-centered twist

https://www.gotquestions.org/managing-emotions.html

📲 Don’t Miss:

Follow the podcast so you never miss an episode!
Share this episode with a friend who struggles with racing thoughts or emotional overwhelm
Tag me on Instagram @becomingunhindered if this tool helps you!

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep14 When "Should" Becomes a Shame Trap: How to Break Free

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this final episode of our cognitive distortion series, we explore “should statements”—those internal messages that often sound like “I should be better by now” or “I shouldn’t struggle with this.” Rooted in shame and self-judgment, these thoughts disconnect us from grace and distort how we see ourselves and God. We’ll learn how to identify these lies, reframe them with truth, and step into the freedom Jesus offers.

TIMESTAMPS

01:20 – What Are “Should” Statements?
Cognitive distortion defined; how “shoulds” manifest in thought patterns
01:33 – The Shame Connection
Why “shoulds” often lead to hiding, striving, and spiritual disconnection
01:58 – Whose Voice Is It?
Identifying the inner critic: parent, culture, past authority, or enemy?
02:22 – Reframing with Gospel Truth
Examples of common “shoulds” vs. biblical responses rooted in grace
02:44 – From Performance to Presence
We don’t clean ourselves up to come to God—He meets us as we are
04:44 – God’s Voice vs. the Inner Critic
Conviction vs. condemnation; God’s nearness and kindness
05:43 – Key Steps for Healing
Awareness, reframing, confession, and dependence on the Holy Spirit
07:35 – Final Thoughts + Recap of Series
Cognitive distortions don’t mean you’re weak—they mean you’re human
Renewing the mind is a lifelong journey, and you’re not alone in it

KEY TAKEAWAYS

“Shoulds” are internalized judgments that create shame, not growth
They often reflect others’ expectations—not God's voice
God's conviction draws us near in relationship, not in isolation
Healing comes through confession, dependence, and grace-based reframing
You don't need to fix yourself to be loved—God already welcomes you

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

A Small Book about Why We Hide: How Jesus Rescues Us from Insecurity, Regret, Failure, and Shame by Dr. Ed Welch

https://a.co/d/g9ciOsD

NEXT EPISODE:

Tune in for a trauma-informed practical strategy I've used with myself, my family, and my clients that contains the anxiety, big emotions, and obsessive or spiraling thoughts, so you can enjoy a break from the non-stop noise in your head.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s keeping you stuck or holding you back from who you were created to be.

Ep13 The Power of Words: Breaking Free from Labels and Renewing Your Mind

Tue, 27 May 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Welcome back! In today’s episode, we’re continuing our series on cognitive distortions—those automatic, often false thought patterns that twist how we see ourselves, others, and even God. This week, we’re talking about one of the most common and damaging distortions: Labeling.

Labeling is when we assign a negative identity to ourselves or someone else based on a single moment, mistake, or behavior—like saying “I’m a failure,” “She’s selfish,” or “He’s lazy.” Over time, these labels can become self-fulfilling prophecies, shaping our choices, emotions, relationships, and even our spiritual lives.

But there’s hope: we’re not defined by our worst moments or what others say about us. We’re defined by who God says we are. In this episode, we’ll explore how to identify labeling thoughts, challenge them with truth, and walk in freedom.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:20] Cognitive distortions as twisted mental filters

[02:03] What Labeling is—and why it’s such a powerful cognitive distortion

[02:45] Real-life examples of how labeling shows up in relationships, parenting, and self-talk

[03:18] How negative labels become internalized and affect our identity, decision-making, and spiritual growth

[04:53] Signs you may be stuck in labeling language (like “always,” “never,” “I’m such a…”)

[05:27] 3 Tips for identifying labels

[06:41] What Scripture says about the power of our words—and why it matters

[08:25] How to find freedom from false labels

[09:38] Choose Life Challenge

🔑 4 Key Takeaways from This Episode:

Labels Aren’t Just Words—They’re Identity Shapers - Discover how one offhand comment or inner criticism can silently shape how you see yourself, your choices, and even your worth. Are you unknowingly living under a false identity?
The Words You Speak (Even in Your Head) Carry Spiritual Weight - Learn why Scripture says your tongue has the power of life and death—and how negative labels can block the freedom Jesus died to give you.
Healing Begins with One Powerful Question - Before you label yourself or someone else, ask this: Is this really true… or just one moment I’m turning into a name? Find out how this simple shift can begin renewing your mind and restoring your parenting, relationships, and self-talk.
Labels (and lies) have no power unless we choose to believe them.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

Ever feel overwhelmed by all the 'shoulds' in your life? Join us next week as we uncover how to silence those pressure-filled thoughts and embrace freedom in Christ!

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s keeping you stuck and holding you back from all you were created to be!

Ep12 Not Every Bad Moment Is a Bad Life: Escaping the emotional roller coaster of catastrophic thinking.

Tue, 20 May 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we’re diving into the world of cognitive distortions—those automatic thought patterns that feel true in the moment but aren't grounded in reality. Specifically, we’re focusing on catastrophizing—when your brain jumps to the worst-case scenario with little (or no) evidence.

From social anxiety to spiritual discouragement, we explore how these distorted thoughts can fuel fear, anxiety, and insecurity—and keep us stuck in emotional and spiritual bondage. But there's hope. You can renew your mind, quiet your soul, and walk in the peace Jesus died to give you.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:05] What cognitive distortions are and why they matter

[02:30] How catastrophizing shows up in everyday life

[03:30] Real-life examples that may sound way too familiar

[04:27] Why our thought life deeply affects our emotions, actions, and spiritual health

[05:43] 4 powerful steps (plus a bonus step!) to take every thought captive and replace lies with God’s truth

[07:50] Encouragement and practical steps to walk in peace, not panic

🔑 3 Key Takeaways:

Not Every Thought is True - Cognitive distortions like catastrophizing feel real, but that doesn’t make them true. Just because a thought pops into your head doesn’t mean it deserves your agreement.
Your Thought Life Shapes Your Spiritual Life - When you constantly expect the worst, it robs you of peace and fuels fear. Taking thoughts captive is a spiritual practice that leads to freedom.
You Can Learn to Quiet Your Soul - You can interrupt anxious thought patterns, calm your emotions, set your mind on God, and experience His peace—even in the middle of life’s chaos.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

Join us next week, as we’re talking about another cognitive distortion: labeling. Ever mess up and immediately call yourself a failure, a mess, or the worst? That’s labeling—and it’s way more damaging than we think. Next episode, we’re breaking down why you’re more than the name your inner critic gives you.

As always, I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep11 Perfectionism vs. Progress: The Trap of All-or-Nothing Thinking

Tue, 13 May 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Ever missed one workout and felt like a failure, so you skipped the remaining workouts that week? Or maybe one mistake has you convinced you're an absolute failure?

Welcome to the exhausting world of All-or-Nothing Thinking—a sneaky cognitive distortion that traps us in extremes and keeps us stuck in shame, burnout, and unrealistic expectations.

In this episode, we’ll unpack:

What All-or-Nothing Thinking looks like in everyday life
How it impacts our emotions, habits, and even our spiritual walk
The biblical truth that sets us free from toxic perfectionism
How to identify and replace distorted thoughts

We’re flipping the switch from black-and-white thinking. Tune in to learn how to tear down mental strongholds, embrace the “middle ground,” and start walking in freedom—one captured thought at a time.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:08] Cognitive Distortions and thinking errors

[02:20] What All-or-Nothing Thinking looks like in everyday life

[04:20] How it impacts our emotions, habits, and even our spiritual walk

[06:04] The biblical truth that sets us free from toxic perfectionism

[07:17] How to identify and replace distorted thoughts

KEY TAKEAWAYS

To identify All or Nothing Thinking: listen for extremes: "I hate...," "The is the best/worst...," "I/you always/never," "Everyone/no one"

We don't overcome negative thoughts by choosing not to think about them.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

Catastrophizing - If your brain loves jumping to the worst-case scenario, grab your emotional parachute—we’re diving in!

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep10 They’re Probably Not Mad at You (Let’s Talk Mind Reading)

Tue, 06 May 2025 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we’re launching a brand-new series on cognitive distortions—those sneaky thinking habits that twist reality and sabotage our peace. First up: Mind Reading. Nope, not the superpower kind—the kind where you assume others are judging you, mad at you, or talking about you… with zero actual proof.

We’ll unpack why this common thought trap is so emotionally draining, how it affects our mental and spiritual health, and give you practical (and biblical!) tools to stop the spiral. It’s time to take your thoughts captive, believe the best about others, and retrain your brain for freedom.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:19] What cognitive distortions are & why they matter

[03:10] How mind reading shows up in everyday life

[03:34] The emotional toll of assumption-based thinking

[04:33] When “reading the room” is helpful vs. harmful

[05:56] Biblical wisdom for transforming your thoughts

[08:07] 5 practical ways to stop mind reading and start living free

[10:39] Choose Life Challenge

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Mind reading is a common cognitive distortion — It happens when we assume we know what others are thinking—especially when we assume it's something negative about us—without real evidence.

These assumptions are usually wrong and emotionally draining — They lead to anxiety, insecurity, social avoidance, hurt feelings, or even conflict… all based on guesswork.

Your thoughts aren’t always facts — Just because it feels true doesn’t mean it is true. Feelings are real, but they’re not always reliable indicators of truth.

The Bible encourages renewing your mind — Scripture calls us to take thoughts captive (2 Cor. 10:5), think on what’s true (Phil. 4:8), and believe the best about others (1 Cor. 13:7).

Most people aren’t thinking about you that much — And that’s actually freeing. People are generally caught up in their own worlds—not obsessing over yours.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

DeRubeis, R. J., Hollon, S. D., Amsterdam, J. D., Shelton, R. C., Young, P. R., Salomon, R. M., ... & Gallop, R. (2005). Cognitive therapy vs medications in the treatment of moderate to severe depression. Archives of General Psychiatry, 62(4), 409–416. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.62.4.409

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep9 Rethinking Your Thinking

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0500

Ever feel anxious, moody, overwhelmed… and you're not even sure why? 🤯 This episode breaks down one of the most powerful tools in both counseling and spiritual growth: learning to trace our emotions and actions back to our thoughts.

We’re diving into the basics of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and pairing it with biblical truth.

This episode is for you if you're ready to stop letting your thoughts boss you around.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:40] Cognitive Behavior Theory (CBT)

[02:23] Emotions and behaviors are a sign. Trace them back to the original thought that's driving them.

[03:38] You have a choice and can choose to change the channel in your brain.

[03:51] Spiritual viewpoint

[04:22] Who's voice are you listening to?

[11:11] Choose Life Challenge

KEY TAKEAWAYS

How thoughts → feelings → actions
Uncomfortable emotions are a signal, not a sentence
The difference between God’s voice vs. the enemy’s lies
Tips to "change the channel" in your mind when thoughts start spiraling 💭

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep8 Feeling Stuck? The Power of Life-Giving Choices

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we’re diving into what it really means to choose life—even in the middle of discouragement, anxiety, or hidden struggles. I’m sharing a personal story from the past two weeks... and what helped me get unstuck and find joy again.

You’ll hear:

The sneaky ways we can choose "death" in our thoughts and habits
What choosing life looks like practically (hint: it's NOT simply pretending everything’s fine)
What it means to choose life spiritually, according to Deuteronomy 30:15-16

💌 Don’t miss the special surprise at the end of the episode just for listeners!

TIMESTAMPS

[01:12] Inspo for today's topic

[01:55] Ways we inadvertently choose "death"

[02:21] Personal story

[04:13] Choosing Life is not toxic positivity or "pretending" everything's fine

[05:15] Practical ways to choose life in thoughts, habits, and everyday situations

[09:32] What we need to know about choosing life spiritually...especially if feeling weighed down or missing joy or intimacy with God

[10:39] Choose Life Challenge

[11:30] Free Surprise!!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

With depressive thoughts, listen to a few sad songs to connect with how you're feeling, but don't stay there for hours. Increase the beat a bit and consider incorporating more positive music as the playlist goes on...might even try worship music.

We do the opposite of what fear tells us to do. If fear tells us to hide and avoid, then we choose to go and be seen.

Choosing life is choosing to bring hidden habits and sins into the light.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

Download your FREE Choose Life: Journaling Guide:

cheerful-founder-6991.kit.com/chooselife

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

We'll answer the question: How do I know if it's God's voice or the enemy's or my own?

Until then, I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep7 More Than a Shoulder to Cry On: How to Be There for a Friend in Crisis

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0500

In today’s episode, we explore how to support a friend or teen who comes to you with something big on their heart. Whether it's a personal crisis, emotional struggle, or tough decision, the way you respond can make all the difference.

We dive into four key steps you can take to help someone feel seen, heard, and valued. From the most important thing you can do when they first open up, to how to encourage and validate them without saying the wrong thing, we cover the essentials of being there for someone in need.

But we don’t stop there—when the situation requires more than just listening, we also talk about how to guide them with practical and spiritual steps, and how to know when it’s time to refer them to outside help.

If you’ve ever wondered how to support someone through a tough time, or even if you’re unsure what to say when someone opens up to you, this episode is for you.

Tune in to discover the simple yet powerful steps to truly be there for someone—without feeling overwhelmed or saying the wrong thing.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:19] 4 Essential steps to supporting someone in need

[01:34] Listen

[02:10] Listening Tips

[02:35] Encourage

[02:53] 2 Phrases to avoid

[04:15] When you're unsure how to help or support

[04:30] Guide them to their next step

[05:50] When to refer for outside help

[06:44] Tip for finding professionals to refer

[07:20] Next Right Step Challenge

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Four Key steps: Listen, Encourage, Guide, Refer

People value listening over lectures.

The way you feel today is not the way it will always feel.

Recognize your limits and seek help from others when the situation is life-threatening or involves life-controlling issues.

You don't have to have all the answers to be a safe space for your friends, coworkers, & family members.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

Lifeline Crisis Hotline: 800-273-TALK (8255)

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep6 The Brain Science of Sexual Intimacy and Connection

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0500

In today's episode, we’re diving into something powerful: the connection between sex, the brain, and intimacy. We’re talking about so much more than just intercourse. I’ll share insights into the brain chemicals involved in sexual activity and how they impact not only your relationships, but also your mental and spiritual health. Join me as we unpack the science behind physical intimacy.

TIMESTAMPS

[02:38] How your brain responds to sexual intimacy

[03:13] The role of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin

[07:54] Brain science and pornography

[08:13] What this means for your relationships and future connections

[08:30] A biblical perspective on flourishing and thriving in this area

[13:57] Next Right Step Challenge

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Dopamine is the "feel-good" chemical in your brain. It’s responsible for the high you feel after a fun activity—whether that’s dancing, accomplishing a goal, or yes, even sexual activity.
Oxytocin is the "bonding" chemical in a woman's brain that creates a sense of connection to others.
If you're worried you've already ruined your life, know that your brain was created with the capacity to change and can learn new patterns and habits.
Healing is possible...even for unwanted sexual activity.

DISCLAIMER

Much of the content for this episode was adapted from Pepperdine University's Relationship IQ curriculum. See link below for more information.

LINKS

Relationship IQ

https://boonecenter.pepperdine.edu/relationship-iq/

Freedom Tools Book by Andy Reese and Jennifer Barnett

https://a.co/d/5ehVS7j

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN.ORG)

800-656-HOPE (4673)

How to Find a Christian Counselor

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://becomingunhindered.com

NEXT EPISODE:

We're discussing the ins and outs of helping a friend who's struggling or in crisis...including what not to say! You won't wanna miss it!

Until then, I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep5 Rediscover Peace: A Faith Based Tool for Anxiety

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0500

In today's episode, we dive into one powerful biblical strategy for overcoming anxiety. Anxiety can creep into our lives in many ways, and the key is realizing that while we can't control everything that happens to us, we can choose how to respond.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:22] The many ways anxiety enters our lives

[02:10] Biblical worldview lens of anxious thoughts

[02:33] We have a choice!

[02:56] Road map to fight back: a faith-based exercise

[06:22] Encouragement about anxiety

[07:44] Next Right Step Challenge for the week

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Anxiety's Origins: Recognizing its source can help in overcoming it.
Biblical Worldview: We have a choice in how we respond to anxious thoughts. We don’t have to let them control us!
Rejecting Anxiety: Thoughts are uninvited, but we can choose which ones to accept. We can reject anxious thoughts before they multiply.
Using Scripture to Fight Back: One powerful tool to combat anxiety is using Scripture. We explore Philippians 4:6-7 as a practical roadmap to handle anxious thoughts.
It’s not a one-time fix but a continuous, faithful process.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep4 Don't Stay Stuck in Burnout: Spot the Signs and Thrive Again

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 04:00:00 -0500

In today’s episode, we’re diving into a topic many of us face: burnout — a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. Whether you're juggling work, school, family, or personal struggles, burnout can sneak up on you when you’re stretched too thin. We’ll talk about common signs, a biblical perspective, and practical strategies to overcome it. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, disengaged, or like you’re running on empty, this episode is for you.

TIMESTAMPS

[01:30] What burnout is and what causes it

[02:00] Signs to watch out for

[03:01] Why this matters spiritually

[04:57] Practical tip for burnout

[05:48] Next Right Step Challenge

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Burnout signs: Emotional numbness, irritability, feeling overwhelmed, and physical symptoms like headaches or stomach issues are all signals to pay attention to.
Spiritual insight: When you feel burned out, you may be carrying more than you were designed to. Reflect on what’s yours to manage and what's His.
Practical tips: Protect your mornings and focus on doing the next right thing.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://becomingunhindered.com

Connect With Us:

Follow us on Instagram/Facebook for more tips, inspiration, and updates.
Have a question or feedback? Send us a message at hello@shelleyspence.com! We love hearing from you.

Was this helpful?:

If you found today’s episode helpful, feel free to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! It helps other amazing women like you find us and get free from what's hindering them and weighing them down.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep3 What Christian Young Women Need to Know About Unhealthy, Entangled Relationships

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 04:00:00 -0500

We’re diving deep into a crucial topic: how to recognize entangled, toxic, or off-balance patterns in relationships, and how you can break free from them.

Navigating relationships—whether with family, friends, or in dating—can be tricky, especially as a teen or young adult. Sometimes we fall into patterns we don’t even realize are unhealthy until it’s too late.

In this episode, I’m here to help you identify some red flags of toxic relationships so you can avoid getting stuck in them.

This episode is also a great resource for you to help others who might be struggling in unhealthy relationships.

TIMESTAMPS

[00:36] Disclaimer

[02:22] Signs of an entangled or toxic relationship

[05:10] The difference in healthy relationships

[07:00] Biblical worldview perspective and the importance of wise counsel

[08:20] How to set boundaries, take ownership of your actions, and break free from toxic patterns

[11:35] Next Right Step Challenge

[12:33] If you find yourself in an unhealthy entangled relationship, there's help and hope.

[13:30] Preview of next week's episode

KEY TAKEAWAYS

It's so easy to fall into unhealthy patterns without realizing it…sometimes we just don’t know what healthy looks like.
When multiple people around you are worried about a particular relationship you’re in, pay attention. Listen to them.
We all have room to grow as far as relationships are concerned. It’s not just about the occasional slip-up…it’s about looking for consistent patterns. Determine whether these patterns are consistently negative and draining...or positive and life-giving.
Entangled relationships can weigh us down and hold us back from God’s best for us.
It's never too late to get help, if you need it.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

Focus on the Family – Counseling Services: https://www.focusonthefamily.com

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7 confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship.).

Website: https://www.thehotline.org
Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
Text: Text "START" to 88788

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN) (Confidential help, resources, and can connect you to local services for anyone impacted by sexual violence).

Website: https://www.rainn.org
Phone: 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
Text: Text "RAINN" to 741741

Crisis Text Line (connects you with a trained crisis counselor who can help you through any emotional or mental health crisis):

Website: https://www.crisistextline.org
Text: Text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 crisis counseling.

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Join my Inner Circle newsletter:

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

We’re diving into burnout – what it looks like, how to spot it, and most importantly, what to do about it. Whether you’re a student, managing a career, balancing motherhood, or juggling it all, this episode is for you! We’ll also be unpacking spiritual insights and giving you practical strategies you can actually use. Don't miss it!

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep2 3 Spiritual Problems That Can Affect Your Mental Health

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 04:00:00 -0500

We’re talking about 3 spiritual issues that directly impact your mental health—We’ll explore why these are so important and how we can overcome them for better mental and spiritual well-being.

This is a necessary but tricky discussion, and I want to be clear: not all mental health is necessarily related to spiritual issues. Mental health can be affected by and rooted in many factors, including lifestyle, genetics, biology, your own personal chemistry, past history, among so many other variables.

However, for a Believer, it can be very helpful to reflect on these spiritual issues and rule them out, as they certainly can contribute to (& possibly escalate or intensify) some mental health symptoms.

TIMESTAMPS

[00:45] Disclaimer

[02:18] Unconfessed Sin

[03:56] Ungodly Beliefs

[10:14] Unforgiveness

[11:20] Signs of unforgiveness

[12:45] 5 Myths about forgiveness

[18:11] How to Forgive: 3 Step Process

[20:20] Forgiving Yourself

[20:48] When We Feel We Need to Forgive God

[22:21] Next Right Step

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Not all mental health is rooted in spiritual issues, however, unresolved spiritual issues can affect mental health, especially for a Believer.
Problem: Unconfessed Sin; Solution: Identify it, Confess and Repent
Problem: Ungodly Beliefs; Solution: Confess and Replace with Truth
Problem: Unforgiveness; Solution: Choose to Forgive (Count the Debt, Release judgment, Address Needs)
Forgiveness myths: "I must wait until they apologize," etc.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

Freedom Tools book by Andy Reese https://a.co/d/eBlwFaA

Keys to Freedom book by Mercy Multiplied Ministry

https://a.co/d/aOZ3pzf

NEXT EPISODE:

We'll be discussing the ins and outs of what christian young women need to know about entangled and toxic relationships.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep1 When Hard Things Happen: Untangling Limiting Beliefs

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 04:00:00 -0500

(intro)

TIMESTAMPS

[00:50] - Disclaimer

[01:40] - Limiting Beliefs

[02:30] - Your Personal Beliefs About Self or God

[03:06] - 3 Steps to Identify Skewed Perspective

[06:25] - Strategies to Shift Perspective

KEY TAKEAWAYS

When hard things happen, we can start to believe things about ourselves, others, and God that might feel true but may not actually be true.
Identify a belief about yourself by naming the word or phrase that you say most often to yourself.
Replace limiting beliefs with more truthful statements.

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

Unpacking 3 spiritual issues that might be affecting your mental health, and what you can do about them.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.

Ep0 Why the Becoming Unhindered Podcast?

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 20:45:00 -0500

I’m excited to launch Becoming Unhindered, the podcast that empowers young Christian women with hope and freedom to overcome life’s toughest challenges. After years of sitting with clients and listening to their stories, I’ve found there’s quite a few topics that come up over and over. The podcast is a casual space where we can discuss those topics so others can benefit —integrating faith and mental health in a way that’s both real and relatable.

TIMESTAMPS

[2:00] - Why this podcast

[3:16] - Podcast is NOT therapy

[4:00] - What’s the name, Becoming Unhindered, about?

[4:56] - What to expect

[5:48] - Upcoming topics

KEY TAKEAWAYS

*Podcast is not therapy or replacement for therapy. If you need a counselor, you should find one. Check the link below for how to find a good one.

*”Becoming” refers to the fact that all of us are growing, learning, becoming.

*”Unhindered” means set free from what keeps us from being all we are designed to be.

*What to expect: Mental health topic; spiritual perspective; practical action steps

*Episodes will be 10-20 mins

*new episode released every Tuesday

DISCLAIMER

LINKS

How to Find a Christian Counselor:

https://shelleyspence.com/how-to-find-a-christian-counselor

Https://shelleyspence.com

NEXT EPISODE:

When you’ve been through something tough—whether it’s a broken relationship, loss, rejection, or any other painful experience—it’s easy for your mind to start telling you some pretty harsh things about yourself, others, and God. Next week we’ll explore ways to untangle our perspective after hard things happen.

I’m cheering you on as you break free from what’s holding you back and keeping you stuck.