Below The Circle

135. Do You Still Sit or Do You Run Until You Crash?

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 02:00:00 -0700

What happens when staying busy becomes the only way you know how to function?

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis unpacks the pattern so many of us live in without questioning. We keep moving, managing, and showing up, but rarely slow down enough to actually feel our own lives. Over time, constant motion starts to feel normal, and stillness begins to feel uncomfortable.

This conversation gets to the root of that. The drive to keep going didn’t come out of nowhere. It was learned, and at one point, it likely served a purpose. But what once helped you navigate one season can quietly begin to hold you back in the next.

Dr. Phyllis draws an important distinction between crashing and choosing to rest. One happens when you’ve pushed too far. The other requires intention. Throughout the episode, she invites you to pause, pay attention to what you’re feeling, and notice when you’re slipping into autopilot.

This is a grounded reminder that stillness isn’t empty. It’s where clarity returns. And learning to slow down, even in small ways, is how you begin to show up for your life in a way that feels real again.

#134-Breaking Free: How to Stop Autopilot Decisions

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 02:00:00 -0700

Have you ever caught yourself asking, is this really where I’m supposed to be? Or do you keep moving forward simply because it feels easier than stopping? Some seasons are spent reacting instead of pausing, seeking fulfillment in roles and routines that never truly feed the soul. Decisions stop being brought to God, and life runs on auto pilot, letting habit guide the way.

Repeated outcomes often appear without notice whether in toxic relationships, unfulfilling work, or patterns that feel impossible to escape. Subconscious choices keep familiar habits alive, even when they no longer serve. Expecting different results while repeating the same decisions only leads to frustration.

Breaking free from auto pilot requires courage. Courage to recognize patterns, courage to ask the hard questions, and courage to make different choices. Old habits will not lead to new promises.

Dr. Phyllis shares a practical tool to start shifting: identify one decision repeated out of habit, uncover the fear that keeps it in place, and take one courageous step this week to break the cycle. One intentional choice can open the door to a life aligned with purpose rather than routine.

For anyone ready to stop reacting and start choosing courage, this episode provides guidance to take the first step and move toward lasting change.

#133- The Power of Return: How the Prodigal Son’s Story Mirrors Our Own

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 02:00:00 -0700

What happens when you realize you’ve been living on auto pilot?

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story and draws a powerful connection to the story of the prodigal son. It’s an honest look at what it feels like to drift, to lose sight of who you really are, and what it takes to come back.

She opens up about the moment she knew something had to change. The moment she realized that if she wanted to reclaim her identity, she had to return to Him. That decision didn’t just shift one area of her life. It changed how she navigates everything.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected, stuck in roles, or just going through the motions, this conversation will hit close to home. So many of us are prone to living on auto pilot, slowly losing connection with our true identity without even realizing it.

This episode is your reminder that you’re not too far gone. There is power in the return.

Dr. Phyllis also introduces The Return Framework, a simple and meaningful way to begin breaking free from auto pilot and take your first steps back to who you really are.

#132- Reconnecting with Your True Self: Lessons from the Woman at the Well

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a deeper look into her personal journey of breaking out of autopilot and reconnecting with her true self.

She opens up about the pressure of trying to live up to the idea of the Proverbs 31 woman, focusing on what that looks like from the outside while never really considering what’s happening internally. There’s so much emphasis on her attributes and how she’s perceived, but not on how she actually experiences her life behind closed doors.

Dr. Phyllis reflects on a season where she was stuck in autopilot, constantly taking on new roles and responsibilities in an attempt to fill a void. Instead of finding clarity, she found herself more disconnected.

This episode walks through what that looked like and how it led her to start asking better questions about her purpose and her priorities.

She also introduces the Will Framework, a simple but powerful way to come back to yourself. This isn’t a one-time exercise. It’s something you return to over and over as your life shifts and grows.

If you’ve been feeling like you’re doing all the right things but still feel off, this conversation will help you pause, reflect, and reconnect with what actually matters.

#131- Stop Stepping Over Your Aspirations: How Small Actions Lead to Big Change

Thu, 19 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis talks about what it really looks like to move forward when you feel stuck. Not through big, overwhelming changes, but through small actions that actually build momentum.

If you’ve been avoiding your next step or sitting in overthinking, this is your reminder that enough is enough. We can’t let our thoughts run the show. At some point, you have to shift your focus from staying stuck to taking action.

Dr. Phyllis shares her framework for stepping forward, even when things feel unclear or uncomfortable. She walks through why imperfect action matters and how those small moves are often the thing that creates real change.

This episode will push you to ask yourself what you can do next, instead of staying in the loop of thinking about it. One simple place to start is sitting down with your journal and getting honest about the steps in front of you.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, this is the nudge to move.

#130- Breaking Free From The Busyness of Autopilot: Creating Space for Better Communication

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares her experience of realizing she had been living in a state of emotional autopilot. While managing the many roles and responsibilities of life, she found herself feeling disconnected and unsure how to step off the constant treadmill of expectations.

Our conversation explores how easily parents can become overwhelmed by responsibilities and begin operating on autopilot. Dr. Phyllis reminds us that no parent is perfect and that not everything is ours to carry.

She also discusses the tools that helped her begin the process of healing, strengthen communication, and repair important relationships. This episode is an encouragement to pause, reflect, and identify one area where more intentional communication could lead to meaningful change.

#129- Beyond the Clutter- Breaking Free From Emotional Autopilot

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 02:00:00 -0700

Clutter is not always about being messy or disorganized. Sometimes it is a signal that something deeper is asking for our attention.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis talks about the connection between clutter and avoidance. The overflowing inbox, messy closet, or tasks we keep putting off can often point to emotions we have not slowed down enough to face. Instead of seeing clutter as a failure, she encourages us to see it as a message.

Dr. Phyllis shares a simple framework called CLEAR to help move through both physical and emotional clutter. It begins by clarifying what you might be avoiding and listening to the emotions underneath it. From there, she encourages you to engage God and invite Him into the moment for courage and guidance. The next step is to act by taking one small step toward what you have been putting off. Finally, reflect and rejoice by noticing the progress you made.

Clutter is not a character flaw. You are not lazy and you are not broken. Often it is simply a signal that something in your life needs care and attention. When we slow down long enough to notice the message, we create space for peace and clarity.

#128- Moments that Matter: How Small Check-Ins Create Lasting Connection

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 02:00:00 -0700

Feeling isolated is easy, and sometimes it seems like you’re the only one facing life’s challenges. But what makes life meaningful are the small moments of connection. You don’t have to say much to make a moment matter—sometimes just showing up is enough.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares how intentionally reaching out to others can transform relationships and create lasting bonds. She walks us through the Reach Model, a practical way to stay aligned and connected with the people who matter most. From quick check-ins to heartfelt conversations, Dr. Phyllis shows how even the simplest actions can make a significant difference in the lives of those around you.

Connection matters, presence matters, and the moments you create today can leave a lasting impact.

#127- Monotony Break Free Moments

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 02:00:00 -0700

Have you ever felt like life is just rinse and repeat? You wake up, move through the day, go to bed, and do it all over again. It can feel like you’re circling the same runway, never quite taking off.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a recent experience that made her pause and pay attention to what was really happening around her. Sometimes we move so quickly through our routines that we stop noticing. We stop reflecting. We stop asking if this pace is actually serving us.

This conversation is a reminder that monotony is not a life sentence. There are moments that invite us to break free. Moments that nudge us to recenter and refocus.

You have the ability to step off the treadmill. You have the power to shift your perspective, slow down, and choose differently. Sometimes it starts with simply becoming more observant and aware.

If you’ve been feeling stuck in repetition, this episode will encourage you to pause, pay attention, and take one intentional step forward.

#126- God's Wake Up Call

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis reflects on what she describes as God’s wake up calls. She shares about a season when she was moving quickly, focused on doing all the right things and being the kind of mom she believed she should be. In the middle of that pace, she began to realize that God had been gently signaling that something needed to shift.

Sometimes those signals are subtle. A sense of unease. A quiet thought that keeps returning. A feeling that we are pushing harder than we need to. When we move past those small nudges and continue on, there are moments when God allows something more significant to slow us down. Not as punishment, but as redirection.

Dr. Phyllis talks about what it looked like for her to be “taken off the treadmill” and how that pause helped her see things more clearly. She reminds us that these wake up calls are rooted in love. They are invitations to pay attention, to reassess, and to make changes that lead to renewal.

If you have felt prompted to slow down or sensed that something in your life needs to shift, this conversation offers space to reflect. God’s desire is not to shame or pressure, but to guide, restore, and refresh.

#125- Rooted, Not Rattled- Standing Strong When Others Don't Understand

Thu, 05 Feb 2026 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis explores what it means to remain rooted rather than rattled when others do not understand your decisions or the season you are in.

As priorities shift and life changes, standing firm without external approval can be challenging. Drawing from her own experiences, Dr. Phyllis emphasizes the importance of developing deep roots that provide stability and clarity, even when opinions or expectations create pressure.

She introduces the ROOTS framework as a guide for staying grounded: remembering whose you are, owning your current season, remaining open to wise counsel, trusting God, and standing strong in conviction.

Listeners are also encouraged to reflect on their support system and consider who truly belongs in their village and has earned the right to speak into their lives.

This episode offers a thoughtful reminder that strength comes from being deeply rooted, not from the approval of others.

#124-From Surviving to Thriving: The Art of Learning, Laughing & Loving Every Day

Thu, 29 Jan 2026 02:00:00 -0700

Ever feel like life has slipped into autopilot and you’re just getting through the day? This episode is a reminder that surviving doesn’t have to be the baseline. Thriving can start with small, intentional shifts.

We talk about the importance of continuing to learn and staying curious, finding moments of laughter as a way to release pressure, and allowing emotions to move instead of holding everything in. You are more than your current situation, and hard seasons do not erase who you are.

Using the image of a triangle with three corners, learn, laugh, and love, this conversation encourages a more balanced way of living. It’s a simple, grounding reminder that we’re all doing our best and that it’s okay to want more than just survival.

#123- Faith, Fatigue, and Frustration: Letting Yourself Be Human While You Love and Lead

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis joins us to explore what happens when faith, exhaustion, and the pressures of real life all show up at once. You can be faithful, tired, and frustrated at the same time—and still lead with love.

We dive into the importance of authentic presence and why growth and transformation aren’t about perfection. It’s about showing up as your real self, allowing yourself to feel what you feel without shame, and redefining what resilience really means.

Dr. Phyllis shares a practical three-step tool to help you check in with yourself when frustration arises:

Admit – acknowledge your feelings without judgment

Allow – give yourself permission to feel

Align – choose how to respond in a way that reflects your values and faith

This episode is a reminder that being human, with all your emotions and imperfections, actually makes you a stronger caregiver, leader, and follower of God.

#122-From Impulse to Intention: Pressing Pause Before You Say Yes

Thu, 15 Jan 2026 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis explores what happens in the space between the urge to say yes and the decision to follow through. She shares a personal story from her caregiving role, along with an unexpected lesson that came from caring for her dogs. What began as small, reactive moments turned into a deeper realization about how often we move straight from impulse into action without checking in first.

Every decision is a doorway, and most of us walk through way too fast.

Dr. Phyllis introduces the pause process, a simple, practical tool you can use before making both major decisions and everyday yeses. This isn’t about overthinking. It’s about creating enough space to notice what’s driving the urge.

She breaks down how to slow the moment, recognize urgency for what it is, and choose intentionally instead of reflexively.

Not every need is ours to meet. Not every opportunity is ours to own.

If you’ve ever said yes and immediately felt overwhelmed, resentful, or full of regret, this episode offers a grounded way to do things differently next time.

#121-Press Pause: Creating Sacred Space Before the Year Takes Over

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 02:00:00 -0700

As the new year begins, this episode is an invitation to pause.

Dr. Phyllis shares why she made the intentional decision to slow down instead of adding more. Less running around. Fewer new responsibilities. More space to tend to her own health and to simply live, grow, and experience life as it unfolds.

We talk about what happens when you stop worrying about what other people think and start listening to what God is actually asking of you. When the only voices that matter are His and your own, something shifts. There is freedom in choosing to take care of yourself without guilt.

This conversation explores where God may be inviting us to rest, how rest brings us back into alignment, and why restoration is not selfish. It is necessary.

If you are entering this year tired, overwhelmed, or feeling the pull to slow down but unsure if you are allowed to, this episode will meet you right there.

#120-From Autopilot to Agency: Trusting God with Your Next Step

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis explores the shift from living on autopilot to stepping into agency and trusting God with your next step, especially when the path forward feels unclear.

She reflects on her years as a physician, the fear she experienced when retiring, and the realization that medicine was not her final destination. Stepping away required more than belief. It required action, surrender, and a willingness to stop reacting and start choosing intentionally.

Dr. Phyllis introduces the TRUST framework as a practical guide for navigating uncertainty. TRUST begins with taking a pause to create space instead of reacting. It continues with reflecting through prayer and meditation to gain clarity. The next step is unpacking fears honestly rather than ignoring them. From there comes surrendering the outcome and releasing the need for control. Finally, TRUST calls for taking the next small step forward, even when the full picture is not yet clear.

This episode reminds listeners that agency is not about having all the answers. It is about trusting God in the next step and allowing faith to shape how decisions are made.

#119- Presence Over Performance: The Gift of Listening During the Holidays

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 02:00:00 -0700

In this holiday episode, Dr. Phyllis explores the idea of presence over performance, especially for high achieving Christian women who feel pulled into “Martha mode” during the holidays. She shares how the pressure to host, fix, and keep everything running smoothly can crowd out meaningful connection.

Drawing from her own experiences as a physician and coach, Dr. Phyllis reflects on how problem solving habits often spill into personal relationships. Instead of listening, we rush to offer answers, missing opportunities to be fully present with the people we love.

She introduces her simple LISTEN method as a way to slow down and connect more deeply. By leaning in, asking open ended questions, allowing silence, and responding with empathy, listening becomes an intentional practice rather than another task.

This episode invites listeners to choose presence as their holiday gift, letting go of the urge to fix and making space for deeper understanding and connection.

#118- Forgive & Forward: The Art of Self-Compassion on the Go

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis talks about something many people struggle with: being kind to themselves when they fall short. So many people are juggling a lot while still showing up with a smile, acting like everything is fine. But mistakes happen, plans fall apart, and things do not always go the way we expect.

Dr. Phyllis shares a personal story about being late and openly admitting she had a lot going on. That moment leads into a conversation about grace, honesty, and what it looks like to keep moving forward even when you are not showing up in the way you want.

The episode centers on the idea of progress, not perfection. Dr. Phyllis reminds listeners that those “hit the fan” moments are part of life, and that self forgiveness matters more than self blame. She offers a simple approach to stepping out of autopilot, noticing self judgment, choosing a kinder response, and redirecting toward the next positive step.

#117- Stop, Breath Again: The Power of Mindful Pausing

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 02:00:00 -0700

In today’s episode, Dr. Phyllis talks about something we all need more of in our day. A pause. She opens up about what it has looked like to be in the thick of caregiving, how much growth has come from this season, and how it pushed her to take an honest look at herself. She shares how slowing her life was never the answer, but slowing the moment was.

Dr. Phyllis walks through a story from her own life that reminded her to slow down long enough to breathe, notice what is happening, and reset before moving forward. That reset is the heart of this conversation.

She introduces a simple practice she calls the sixty second reset. It is quick, intentional, and something you can use anytime you feel overwhelmed or pulled in too many directions. All it takes is three deep breaths and a clear choice about your next action. When you do that, you interrupt the autopilot, break the busyness, and return to yourself.

This episode is a reminder that it only takes one breath, one pause, and one present moment to come back into alignment.

#116-Two Hours of Presence: What Happens When You Stop Running on Fumes and Realign Your Life

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis invites you to pause and look at your alignment—not just your schedule, but the way you’re moving through life. When you choose presence on purpose, even in small pockets of time, you start to see where you’ve been running on empty and where God is nudging you back to center.

She shares a recent moment when she reclaimed a few hours in her week and realized how much a small shift can change the way you show up. God didn’t design us to push through nonstop. He designed us to live aligned with Him.

Dr. Phyllis also walks through a simple framework for realignment:

A – Ask yourself an honest question

L – Look at what’s taking your time and energy

I – Invite God into it

G – Give yourself permission

N – Name your next step

This isn’t about finding two hours every day. Most of us don’t have that. It’s about choosing one intentional block of time and using it in a way that makes you feel grounded and alive.

“He restores my soul.” Restoration often happens in the quiet moments where you pause and let God meet you. He isn’t asking you to constantly pour out. He’s leading you back to rest, back to awareness, back to Him

#115- God Sees You in the Hard Places

Thu, 27 Nov 2025 09:30:00 -0700

Life can feel overwhelming when you’re juggling a lot and running on auto-pilot. In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a moment that shook her and helped her realize the importance of being fully present. Presence is where strength is restored, and God sees every moment you choose to slow down rather than just push through.

Dr. Phyllis shares three ways God renews you in the hard places. First, spiritually, through faithful presence, allowing His strength to fill you even when you feel depleted. Second, emotionally, through self-acknowledgement, taking a moment to recognize how you feel and what you need. Third, physically, through rest and support, because running on auto-pilot without care for yourself drains your body and mind.

She reminds us that life can feel demanding and often the appreciation we receive from others can feel fleeting or expected. Even so, God sees every late night, every early morning, every hard decision, and every unseen act of love. Slow down when you can, focus on one way to renew yourself this week, and remember that you don’t have to be perfect—just keep showing up.

#114- The Attitude Shift: When God Uses Tough Seasons to Reset Your Perspective

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 02:00:00 -0700

This month Dr. Phyllis is doing something meaningful for National Family Caregivers Month with a three part series, and today’s episode is the second conversation in that series. Dr. Phyllis leans into a topic that so many people overlook when they are stretched thin and overwhelmed. Your attitude and the heart posture God calls you to hold on to in the middle of hard seasons.

When life feels heavy it becomes easy to slip into survival mode. Your perspective gets blurry, your reactions feel bigger than usual, and your sense of direction gets a little lost. In this episode Dr. Phyllis talks about how God uses these tough seasons to slow you down and gently reset the way you think, respond, and show up.

She explains how your heart posture can shift your entire experience, why this matters so much for caregivers, and how small attitude changes open the door to renewed clarity and peace.

If you are walking through a challenging season, this conversation will help you see how God meets you right in the middle of it and uses it to bring your perspective back into focus.

#113- From Numb to New: How God Revives You in Tough Seasons

Thu, 13 Nov 2025 02:00:00 -0700

When life feels heavy and the days start to blur together, it’s easy to slip into survival mode without even realizing it. In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares encouragement for anyone walking through a difficult season and wondering how to keep believing when life feels too much.

God meets us in the hard places not to break us but to restore us. Faith is easy to talk about when things are going well, but it’s in the testing that our faith grows deeper. Even when you feel stretched or unsure, this season will not last forever.

Dr. Phyllis also walks through a simple self-coaching practice called the 3 Rs to help you move from numbness to renewal: Recognize where you’ve gone numb, Remember God’s presence, and Rebuild through small, steady steps of faith.

You’re not failing. You’re growing. Don’t rush to get back to normal. Allow yourself to move through the process, trusting that God is in control. With His guidance, you’ll continue to grow, and He will do a new thing in you.

#112- Awake and Aligned: Break Free From Auto-Pilot

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 02:00:00 -0700

You might notice something different about the podcast—new name, new season, new energy. Welcome to Awake and Aligned, where Dr. Phyllis guides you to step out of auto-pilot and start living fully present in your life and purpose.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares her own journey of being out of alignment and what it taught her about living awake. Purpose isn’t about striving or checking off boxes—it’s about choosing alignment for yourself, noticing when life has been on auto-pilot, and taking intentional steps to live fully engaged.

We explore what it really means to listen between the lines of your life, why auto-pilot isn’t just a scheduling issue but a soul issue, and how small, mindful choices can bring you into alignment.

This week’s reflection: Find a quiet moment and ask yourself, Where in my life have I been running on routine and auto-pilot instead of being fully engaged?

Key Takeaways:

Alignment is a choice, not a chase.
Auto-pilot is a soul problem, not just a schedule problem.
Living awake is possible when you slow down, notice, and act intentionally.

Tune in to hear Dr. Phyllis share stories and insights that will inspire you to step into your next chapter fully awake and aligned.

#111- Persistence Over Perfection

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 02:00:00 -0700

We all have those days where nothing goes according to plan and life feels messy and out of rhythm. But what if those moments are not setbacks, but invitations to shift your focus?

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis reminds us that sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is keep showing up. It is not about being perfect, it is about being persistent.

She shares how she had to let go of perfectionism and learn to realign with what truly matters. Through prayer, pause, and perspective, she invites us to reset, simplify our expectations, and focus on faithfulness instead of flawlessness.

You will hear practical ways to pause and invite God into the moment, let go of unrealistic expectations, extend grace when you fall short, and refocus on what actually needs your attention today.

God never asked us to be perfect, only present. When life feels like it is unraveling, choose to show up anyway. Breathe, reset, and remember that you cannot walk in peace if you are punishing yourself for being human.

Listen in for encouragement, truth, and a reminder that persistence is its own kind of progress.

#110- Look Up and Breath: A Holy Pause for Your Soul

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 02:00:00 -0700

When life feels heavy, our heads naturally bow. Our shoulders tense, our hearts race, and we try to push through. But what if the most sacred thing you could do in that moment isn’t to keep going — it’s to pause and look up?

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis invites you to take what she calls a holy pause . A simple act of releasing control and reconnecting with peace. She shares her personal story of learning to breathe again when life felt out of control and how one intentional look up changed everything.

Through her powerful B.R.E.A.T.H. practice:

Be still. Release control. Engage your breath. Acknowledge. Thank Him. Hold peace.

Dr. Phyllis reminds us that every breath can become a sacred reset for your soul.

Before you dive into your to-do list, take a moment to pause and breathe. This short practice could transform the way you move through your day and remind you who’s truly holding it all together.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed or stretched thin, this episode will help you slow down, lift your gaze, and find peace right where you are.

#109- Unplugging Autopilot Faith: Choosing Presence Over Performance

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Ever felt like you’re doing all the right things, serving, praying, showing up, and still feel spiritually tired? Like your faith is running on autopilot? You’re not alone. Many of us find ourselves moving through the motions, doing for God but forgetting to simply be with Him.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares what happens when faith becomes performance driven instead of presence filled. She talks about that inner tension between our Martha and Mary selves, the part of us that loves to serve and the part that longs to rest at Jesus’ feet. Both matter, but sometimes one needs to pause so the other can breathe.

Dr. Phyllis also shares her simple yet powerful SIT framework to help you slow down and reconnect with God in a meaningful way.

S means Stop the Spin

I means Invite God In

T means Take a Seat

This isn’t about doing more, it’s about being more present. Because being busy for God isn’t the same as being with God. When we pause long enough to listen, stillness turns into strength, and faith begins to flow from a place of overflow instead of depletion.

If you’ve been running on spiritual empty, this conversation will remind you that God doesn’t need your performance, He wants your presence.

#108- The Distraction in the Pause: When Rest Becomes Restless

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Have you ever sat down, ready to rest — maybe with your coffee and Bible in hand — and before you know it, you’re scrolling through your phone, your mind already chasing the next thing? You wanted peace, but somehow ended up feeling more restless.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis opens up about a struggle so many high-achieving women face: wanting stillness but finding it hard to stop. She shares how her own moments of “rest” often turn into distractions and how losing her mother deepened her understanding of what it really means to pause. Through honest reflection and gentle wisdom, Dr. Phyllis helps us see that rest isn’t the absence of activity but it’s the presence of awareness.

You’ll learn practical steps for reclaiming rest in your everyday life: preparing your space, removing distractions, acknowledging the discomfort of stillness, uncovering the deeper “why” behind your urge to stay busy, and surrendering that constant search for more. Instead of resisting silence, Dr. Phyllis invites you to welcome it — to let God meet you there and fill those pauses with peace instead of noise.

If you’ve ever found yourself reaching for your phone instead of your breath, or filling your quiet moments with more doing, this episode will remind you that true rest is possible and it starts with learning how to simply be still and know.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“When we fill our pauses with scrolling, planning or busyness, we unintentionally trade presence for distraction and call it downtime."

"I believe that when we do this, we're avoiding stillness. Just like me, I was feeling the pause instead of feeling it. God was right there waiting for me at that moment. But I was looking everywhere else."

#107- Burdened But Not Forsaken: Holding On In The Valley.

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Have you ever woken up already exhausted, wondering how you’ll make it through a day that feels heavier than the one before? Have you ever felt like you’re walking in the shadows, carrying more than your soul can handle, and wondered if God even sees you there?

Dr. Phyllis shares a deeply personal message about walking through the valleys of life and leaning on God’s presence when the weight feels unbearable. Drawing from her experience as a healthcare leader during the height of the pandemic, balancing unexpected caregiving responsibilities for her mother, and navigating the emotional fallout of personal and professional challenges, she opens up about what it truly means to hold on when life feels overwhelming.

Through this story, Dr. Phyllis reflects on the autopilot mindset many of us fall into—reacting to life instead of being fully present—and the moment she realized she couldn’t carry everything alone. Psalm 23:4 became a guiding light.

If you’ve ever felt overburdened, isolated, or unsure of how to move forward, this episode is a reminder that you are not forsaken. You’ll hear honest, heartfelt encouragement to pause, release the weight you’ve been holding, and lean fully into God’s guidance—even in the seasons that feel darkest.

She introduces the “HOLD” approach for getting through tough seasons:

Honor the weight you feel
Open your heart to God's presence
Lean on small steps of faith
Declare the valley as temporary

Whether you’re juggling multiple roles, navigating personal loss, or simply need hope in a difficult season, this conversation will inspire you to keep moving forward, one step at a time, with faith that you are seen, held, and supported.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

“God's presence makes the difference in your life. And so I want you to remember that you may be feeling burdened, but you're not forsaken. It's just a season.”

Let’s Connect:

#106- Grace for the Gaps: Releasing What Didn't Happen and Flowing with God's Timing

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis opens up about navigating a season of life that looks very different from what she once imagined—balancing the care of a loved one, managing her household, stepping into retirement after decades in medical practice, and tending to her own personal and spiritual growth. With so many demands pulling her in different directions, she’s faced the reality of an ever-growing to-do list.

Dr. Phyllis shares how she’s learning to shift her perspective: rather than measuring her worth by what gets done, she’s embracing “grace for the gaps”—the space between what we plan and what actually happens. She encourages listeners to be fully present, release unrealistic expectations, and allow God’s timing to shape their days instead of living on autopilot.

Dr. Phyllis reminds us that showing up with love, embracing interruptions, and serving others is deeply fulfilling and aligns with God’s rhythm.

Practical guidance in this episode includes her FLOW method:

F: Filter the frustration – acknowledge it, but don’t let it control your day.

L: Let go of the list – your worth isn’t determined by unchecked boxes; release them to God.

O: Open to the opportunity – notice what did happen and the ways God might be working through unexpected moments.

W: Walk in grace – reset your day according to God’s rhythm, not resentment.

Dr. Phyllis encourages listeners to journal one thing they need to release and one unexpected blessing they can be thankful for. She closes with Proverbs 16:3, a reminder that trusting God with our plans brings peace and purpose.

This episode is a heartfelt reminder to give yourself grace, stay present, and trust that God fills the gaps with His perfect timing.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"It's so easy says to measure our worth by what got checked off instead of how present we were with what really mattered."

"When we measure the day only by what didn't get done, we stay stuck in resentment and frustration. But when we shift into God's rhythm, we can reset, release the gaps, and recognize the grace and flow of life."

Let’s Connect:

00:00 Unexpected Retirement Challenges

04:35 "Finding Home and Presence"

09:59 Embrace God's Rhythm for Fulfillment

14:52 "Staying Joyful and Fulfilled"

18:04 "Commit to the Lord's Guidance"

#105- Preparation, Not Detour: God Uses All Season to Equip You

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Ever feel like a past season of life was wasted? On this episode of the Own Your Yes Podcast, Dr. Phyllis reminds listeners that nothing is ever wasted when a yes is placed in God’s hands. What felt like a detour, delay, or dead end may actually have been preparation for a future breakthrough.

Dr. Phyllis shares a story about a dying key fob battery that became a powerful example of how past “failures” or missteps can equip us for the present. Every skill, lesson, and challenge contributes to growth and readiness for what comes next, even when it isn’t obvious at the time.

Listeners will learn the PREP approach—Perspective, Remember, Equip, Purpose—to reframe past seasons as seed time rather than wasted time. This episode encourages journaling, reflection, and reclaiming the value in past experiences.

Romans 8:28 reminds believers that all things work together for good. Through this episode, Dr. Phyllis emphasizes that every yes, every effort, and every season in life has meaning and purpose.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Practice speaking life into your past by affirming that season equipped me for today and the future."

Let’s Connect:

00:00 "Embrace Life's Purposeful Seasons"

05:01 "Revise Frustration: Embrace Preparation"

08:49 "Nothing Wasted: Trust Your Journey"

#104-Belonging Without Permission: Saying Yes to Your Worth

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately wondered if you belong there? In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares how embracing your God-given worth allows you to show up confidently—without waiting for anyone else’s validation.

She takes you through her personal story of feeling out of place and the moment it clicked: belonging isn’t about permission; it’s about recognizing the value God has already placed in you. Dr. Phyllis introduces her WORTH framework—Walk in truth, Own your space, Release the gaze, Trust God’s design, and Hold your head high—to help you step into every room knowing you belong.

This episode will guide you to stop apologizing for your presence, release fear of judgment, and carry yourself with confidence grounded in truth. Dr. Phyllis also shares journaling prompts and a scripture from Psalm 139:14 to help you internalize your worth and speak it over yourself daily.

You were created intentionally, and your presence matters. Say yes to your worth, trust God’s design, and watch how your confidence transforms every space you enter.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“To know your worth so deeply that you don't need anyone else's validation to take up space."

Let’s Connect:

00:00 Unsettling Salon Stare

03:37 Uncomfortable Stare Encounter

06:57 "The Worth Approach: Embrace Self-Worth"

10:39 "Self-Worth and Belonging Journaling"

#103- Small Steps, Big Shifts: Rewrite What Once Held You Back

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 02:00:00 -0700

What if the stories that once held you back could actually become stepping stones toward healing and growth? In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares how rewriting old narratives doesn’t require a grand moment—sometimes it starts with something as simple as trying avocado toast after decades of avoidance.

Through her personal story, Dr. Phyllis shows how small acts of courage, curiosity, and self-compassion can help us shift the way we relate to our past. You don’t have to erase what’s happened—you only need to reclaim your present.

She also introduces her REDO framework:

R – Revisit with curiosity

E – Extend yourself compassion

D – Do one small brave thing at a time

O – Open to new possibilities

Whether it’s in a relationship, your career, or everyday choices, the old narratives don’t have to define you anymore. Healing starts with just one small step.

Ask yourself: What story are you still letting define you? This week, take one small step to let go of the past and rewrite how it shows up in your present.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“You don't need to erase the past. You just need to reclaim your present”

“When you give yourself permission to take small steps of healing in the present, you allow the past to lose its power over you”

Let’s Connect:

00:00 "Finding Peace in Avocado Toast"

05:54 Overcoming Childhood Avocado Misconception

08:03 "Embracing Avocado: A Vegan's Journey"

12:49 "Rewriting Past Narratives"

17:21 "Reclaim Your Story: Small Steps"

18:56 Purpose and Response

#102- How to Flip the Switch from I Have To to I Get To Mindset

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Ever notice how heavy life feels when everything on your list turns into a “have to”?

I have to get up early. I have to go to work. I have to make dinner. I have to take care of everyone else. When life is framed this way, it can start to feel exhausting and joyless.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis invites you to flip the switch—to shift from living in obligation to living with opportunity. Instead of “I have to,” you begin to say, “I get to.” That one small change can completely reframe how you see your day.

She walks you through practical steps to help you do this: grounding yourself in gratitude, noticing where you’re feeling depleted, filtering and triaging what’s really important, and making space for what God is calling you to do.

What if instead of saying, “I have to go to work,” you reframed it as, “I get to use my skills”? That mindset shift can open the door to peace, presence, and even joy—right in the middle of everyday life.

This conversation will encourage you to slow down, breathe, and remember that joy isn’t found in the hustle of checking off your to-do list. It’s found when you choose to flip the switch.

Let’s Connect:

#101-Say Yes to Joy: Gratitude as a Daily Choice

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 03:00:00 -0700

Life doesn’t always go as planned, and it’s so easy to get stuck in frustration, discouragement, or regret. But joy isn’t something you have to wait for—it’s something you can choose today. In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares how to say yes to joy and gratitude, even in the middle of the chaos.

She talks about what it looks like to anchor yourself in joy when everything feels overwhelming, how to break through the clouds of gloom that try to overshadow your peace, and why gratitude is the daily voice that can shift everything.

Dr. Phyllis explores what it means to own your yes—to stand in who you are, own your story, and stay present. And even when life feels heavy, we can choose the declaration of “yet”—yet I will rejoice, yet I will be grateful, yet I will find joy.

If you’ve been feeling depleted or disappointed, this episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and ask yourself: Where can I say yes to joy today?

This conversation with Dr. Phyllis will empower, inspire, and remind you that God is always present—guiding you to gratitude, joy, and transformation.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“Joy doesn’t have to be something you wait for”

Let’s Connect:

#100- Flex and Flow: The Mindset Shift That Makes Room for Joy

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 02:00:00 -0700

In this 100th episode, Dr. Phyllis explores the truth that joy is not found in perfectly executed plans, but in presence, purpose, and flexibility. Drawing on decades of experience in medicine, personal reflections, and wisdom from her late mother, she shares how to release control and adopt a “flex and flow” mindset that creates space for authentic joy—even when life goes off-script.

Through stories from her own journey and insights gained from serving as a hospice physician, Dr. Phyllis reveals the importance of focusing on what truly matters, letting go of the illusion of control, and opening yourself to the present moment. She introduces the FLOW framework:

F: Focus on what truly matters
L: Let go of the illusion of control
O: Open yourself to the moment
W: Weigh the worth of your “yes”

This episode is especially relevant for high-achieving Christian women navigating the tension between doing and being. It offers practical ways to shift from rigidity to flexibility, fostering fulfillment in both personal and professional roles.

A milestone episode dedicated to growth, resilience, and living a life aligned with God’s calling.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Joy doesn't come from everything going as planned. It comes from the moments we stop forcing and we start flowing and we allow space for what truly matters."

(00:00) "Finding Fulfillment and Letting Go"

(05:06) "Matriarch's Legacy and Reflection"

(10:51) Finding Joy in Life's Transitions

(12:57) Embracing Change and Saying Yes

(18:56) "Balancing Parenting and Personal Growth"

(22:12) "Creating Quality Family Time"

(24:24) "Embrace Flow, Find Joy"

(30:33) Presence Over Perfection

(32:24) "Embrace Flexibility in Unexpected Times"

(35:05)"Celebrating 100 Episodes Together"

Let’s Connect:

#99- When Good Intentions Drain Good Purpose

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis dives into a powerful message about the difference between good intentions and purposeful action. She explores how good intentions, while well-meaning, can sometimes pull us away from our true purpose—especially when they start to drain our energy, disrupt our finances, or take us off course.

Dr. Phyllis shares how to honor your good intentions without letting them override what really matters to you right now. She guides you through an approach to discern whether your “yes” is truly serving your purpose or secretly draining your power.

You’ll learn the POWER method to take back your energy and realign your choices:

Pause before you purchase or pledge
Own your intention
Weigh the cost
Examine for overload
Recommit to purpose

This framework helps you make decisions and say yes from a place of alignment — not anxiety.

If you’re ready to stop letting good intentions drain your energy and start making choices that truly serve you, this episode is for you.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Sometimes our yes is rooted in a fear of missing out, falling short, or failing someone we love. But what if those good intentions are quietly pulling us off our purpose?"

"Let your yes come from alignment with your purpose, not anxiety”

(00:00) Balancing Life, Family, and Cooking

(04:00) Appliance Overload Dilemma

(10:27) Identifying Energy Drains

(14:06) "Own Your Intentional Yes"

(17:27) Embracing the Joy of Missing Out

(18:40) "Overcoming Scarcity Mindset"

(22:05) Empowered Decisions: Yes or Overload?

(25:54) Farewell Blessings

Let’s Connect:

#98- From Fragmented to Fulfilled: The Power of Presence

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 02:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis opens up about her personal journey from constantly running on a treadmill of doing, achieving, and chasing the next crisis—toward a life that feels more peaceful, grounded, and fulfilling. She talks about the moment she realized work is just a means to an end, not the core of her identity, and how learning to slow down changed everything.

When we’re always striving, we miss what’s right in front of us. Presence, she shares, isn’t just a nice idea—it’s how we actually experience the life we’ve been praying for. The joy, the peace, the fulfillment—it’s already here. We just have to stop long enough to notice it.

Dr. Phyllis introduces a powerful approach to living in the moment using the acronym SAVOR:

S – Slow down your thoughts. Be where your feet are.

A – Acknowledge the moment. Ask: Where am I right now?

V – Voice your desire.

O – Open yourself to win. Celebrate even the small victories.

R – Rejoice in the moment.

This episode is an invitation to stop chasing and start savoring. Because presence isn’t passive—it’s something we practice. And it’s what helps us feel fully alive.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Trying to be the martyr is overrated and underappreciated and just not sustainable as well."

"Creating presence is the key to having joy, is the key to having joy. It's the key to finding moments of peace."

(00:00) "Reclaim Purpose, Redefine Identity"

(03:1) "Sustainable Productivity Over Frantic Martyrdom"

(06:20) Embracing Life Beyond Work

(10:21) "From Doing to Being Fulfilled"

(15:30) "Embrace the Present Moment"

(18:15) Celebrate Small Wins

(22:48) Finding Fulfillment in Presence

Let’s Connect:

#97- Loyal but Unfulfilled: Reclaiming Your Yes from What Really Doesn't Inspire

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 02:00:00 -0700

You can be loyal and still feel lost. Faithful but unfulfilled. Stuck in something that once felt right—but now just feels heavy.

In today’s episode, Dr. Phyllis is talking about the quiet discomfort of staying in a role, relationship, or responsibility that no longer fits. When your “yes” begins to drain you instead of energize you, it may be time to pause and ask: Is this still aligned with what God is doing in me now?

Recently on a walk, I was reminded that loyalty without inspiration starts to feel like obligation. That nudge led me to this simple framework to help process when it's time to release something—even if it still looks “good” on the outside.

The A.C.T. Framework:

A – Acknowledge the expired yes

C – Clarify what inspires you now

T – Take permission to transition

Let this be your permission to reflect, realign, and take the next step—one that’s rooted in purpose, not pressure.

Journal Prompts to Go Deeper:

What am I currently saying yes to that no longer inspires or energizes me?
Am I staying in this situation out of fear, guilt, or obligation?
What part of me is afraid to let go—and what would help me feel safe to release it?
What currently inspires me? What am I curious or excited about that I’ve been ignoring?
If I believed God had something new for me, what would I begin to release to make room for it?

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“Loyalty without inspiration becomes obligation. And obligation without alignment leads to depletion.”

00:00 "Aligning Your Yes with Now"

05:50 Thriving with Scleroderma: A Vegan Choice

09:39 Vegan Dining Dilemma

11:10 Choosing Fulfillment in Dining

14:51 "Embrace Your New Season"

18:14 Reflective Journal Prompts

Let’s Connect:

#96- Reclaim Your Energy: Realign Your Purpose

Thu, 17 Jul 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Have you ever felt completely drained—even while doing everything “right”? You’re showing up, checking all the boxes, and still feel off. Dr. Phyllis calls this what it is: depletion. But depletion doesn’t always come from doing too much. It often comes from giving too much to the wrong things.

We slowly get pulled into other people’s priorities, needs, and timelines—sometimes without even realizing it. Before long, we’re spending our energy on things God never actually asked us to carry. And that’s when the frustration, emptiness, and burnout show up. Depletion is often a sign of misalignment.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis offers a simple but powerful way to pause and reflect—a four-step process to help you realign your energy and return to what you’ve truly been called to steward.

Step 1: Recognize what’s pulling at you.

Step 2: Name what you’ve been handing over.

Step 3: Reset the boundaries.

Step 4: Refocus on what you’re called to steward.

Dr. Phyllis reminds us that when God isn’t our GPS, we start handing our keys to the wrong drivers. And that’s when we lose direction. So ask Him again. Invite discernment back in. Reclaim your energy by keeping your yes aligned with your assignment.

You weren’t made to run on empty. You were made to move forward—rooted in peace, fueled by purpose, and clear on what’s yours to carry.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“When you consistently give your energy to what God never assigns to you, you will feel overextended and under fulfilled."

(00:00) Freedom Redefined Through Shared Keys

(04:24) "Misalignment Leads to Depletion"

(09:45) "Reclaim Priorities and Boundaries"

(12:49) "God as Your GPS

(18:10) Live Intentionally: Make Room

#95- Joy Unlocked: Saying Yes to You

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 02:00:00 -0700

You’re the hero in everyone else’s story… but somewhere along the way, you became a ghost in your own. In today’s episode, Dr. Phyllis is sharing a message that so many women need but rarely give themselves permission to hear: You are allowed to matter in your own life.

When you spend your days caring for everyone else—your family, your team, your friends, your community—it’s easy to forget that you are a person with needs too. And if you're honest, sometimes meeting your own needs feels selfish. But it's not. In fact, you have to care for yourself if you want to keep showing up well for the people who need you most.

Dr. Phyllis breaks down her powerful S.E.L.F. framework to help you reconnect with your purpose and joy:

S – Silence your inner critic.

E – Embrace your needs.

L – Look for joy.

F – Follow through.

It’s not enough to just talk about caring for yourself. You have to take action.

Dr. Phyllis knows what it’s like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. But she also knows the power of deciding that your story matters, too. This is your permission to start saying yes to you. To stop running on empty. And to unlock the joy that’s been waiting for you all along.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"What if the key to unlocking true joy isn't about saying yes to more demands, but finally saying yes to you?"

"We as high achieving Christian women, we're always trying to pour into others and it can be very difficult for us to receive.

(00:00) Revitalizing Routine: Makeup Boost

(04:40) "Creating Personal Moments Amid Chaos"

(08:33) Inclusive and Relaxing Salon Experience

(11:57) "Prioritize Self-Care for Fulfillment"

(13:57) "SELF: Silencing Inner Critic"

(17:42) "Prioritize Self-Care and Joy"

Let’s Connect:

#94- The Courage to Connect: Saying Yes to Life-Giving Friendships

Thu, 03 Jul 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Dr. Phyllis speaks to the woman who’s craving real connection but feels guarded after being let down, overlooked, or even wounded by past friendships. When trust has been broken, it takes courage to open up again. But staying isolated only deepens the ache.

Dr. Phyllis invites listeners to look honestly at their relationships and ask: Who is in my inner circle? Are these friendships rooted in faith, mutual care, and truth? Are they giving life—or slowly draining it?

Using her powerful COURAGE framework, she unpacks what to look for in life-giving friendships:

C – Christ-centered

O – Open-hearted

U – Unwavering

R – Reciprocal

A – Accountable

G – Grace-filled

E – Encouraging

This episode is a call to stop settling for surface-level connections and instead invest in the kind of community that heals, supports, and uplifts. Because real friendship isn’t about having more—it’s about having the right ones.

Whether you’ve been burned, lifted, or somewhere in between, this message will help you step into connection with discernment, wisdom, and renewed hope.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

"We're not looking for the number, we're looking for the quality."

00:00 Courage to Connect: Embrace Friendships

05:17 Overcoming Negative Emotions

08:56 Courage in Building Meaningful Friendships

12:00 Evaluating Friendships for Quality

16:33 Accountability in Friendship

17:44 Cultivating Forgiveness in Friendships

Let’s Connect:

#93- Own the Moment or Lose the Moment- Making Presence a Daily Priority

Thu, 26 Jun 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Presence doesn’t show up on its own—we have to create it. That’s something Dr. Phyllis knows deeply, both personally and professionally. In this episode, she shares why making presence a daily priority is one of the most powerful shifts we can make in our lives.

For a long time, Dr. Phyllis was going through the motions. Life felt like a loop—autopilot routines, passive days, and that quiet question many of us ask: When do I actually start enjoying life? She knew she wanted more time with God. More focus on her health. More energy. But she hadn’t taken ownership of her presence—and that was the missing piece.

Presence is active. It doesn’t happen just because we want it. We have to choose it, daily. And when we don’t, it’s easy to fall into patterns of disconnection, wondering how we got so far away from what matters.

In this conversation, Dr. Phyllis introduces her signature PAUSE Method—a simple, powerful framework that helps you intentionally create moments of presence in your everyday life.

P — Prepare your mindset daily

A — Anchor in awareness

U — Use micro moments wisely

S — Surrender what you can’t control

E — Engage fully where your feet are

Presence is a daily yes. And it’s one you can start saying right now. What’s one trigger that pulls you out of presence? Start there. Because when you can name it, you can start creating the space to pause—on purpose.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"I was living a life on autopilot where I was just going through the motions, being so disconnected about from what was going on around me."

"Presence is not something others create for you.”

(00:00) Living on Autopilot, Unengaged

(04:00) "Capturing Moments, Missing Life"

(11:11) Harness Micro Moments Mindfully

(13:49) "Embrace Presence, Release Burdens"

(15:37) "Practicing Presence Intentionally

Let’s Connect:

#92- Presence Begins Where Guilt Ends

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Guilt can be subtle, but its impact is heavy. It clouds discernment, distorts priorities, and often pushes people into cycles of overdoing. It convinces high-achieving women that more effort means more value. But God never asked for hustle. He asked for trust.

Dr. Phyllis reminds us: Presence begins where guilt ends. Letting go of what God didn’t assign makes space for peace, clarity, and joy. True presence isn’t found in performance—it’s found in faithful obedience.

Use the GIFT framework to break the cycle and return to what matters:

G – Get honest about guilt.

Identify where it’s showing up and what it’s attached to.

I – Invite God into your thoughts.

Guilt was never meant to be processed alone.

F – Focus on faithful obedience, not over-functioning.

Doing more doesn’t equal being more. Obedience is enough.

T – Trust that presence is enough.

You weren’t made to carry every burden or be in every room. Presence holds power—without the need to prove.

Letting go of guilt isn’t about doing less—it’s about carrying only what God has asked. That’s where discernment sharpens. That’s where peace returns. That’s where presence begins.

Quotes from Today’s Episodes:

“Every situation isn’t yours just because you CAN.”

“Presence begins where guilt ends”

(00:00) Learning to Accept, Not Fix

(05:44) Courage to Change: A Personal Journey

(09:59) Gift Framework: Reclaim Presence, Release Guilt

(16:25) Faith, Trust, and Discernment

(19:28) Finding Courage and Divine Guidance

(21:57) Embrace Growth and Let Go

Let’s Connect:

#91- Unspoken Agreements: When Hurtful Words Become Your Truth

Thu, 12 Jun 2025 02:00:00 -0700

“Let it go.” “Shake it off.” “Don’t let what they said get to you.”

We’ve all heard these lines. Maybe we’ve even said them to ourselves. But what happens when the words don’t bounce off? When they actually stick—and quietly start shaping how we see ourselves?

Dr. Phyllis unpacks the unspoken agreements we make with hurtful words. The ones we don’t even realize we’ve internalized. Maybe someone at work said something that hit too close. Maybe a family member made a comment that felt like a jab. And instead of confronting it, we absorbed it. We told ourselves to keep going. To be strong. To be resilient.

But somewhere along the way, we stopped questioning those words—and started believing them. Dr. Phyllis explains how words that go unchallenged can influence our identity and quietly chip away at our inner power. She invites us to pause and ask: What wounds were opened by what was said? Have I been carrying words that were never meant for me?

She walks us through her ARC framework—a way to reclaim who we are and what we believe. Acknowledge the wound. Name the moment. Reclaim your truth by asking: Do I even believe this? Cancel the agreement by speaking new words. Words that align with who you are, not who someone else claimed you were.

One of the most powerful tools she suggests? Writing a wound word release letter. Something simple and honest. “I’ve been carrying the words ____. They were never mine to hold. I choose to release them.”

Because yes, words have power. But so do you. And you get to decide which ones you carry forward.

Quotes from Today’s Episodes:

"Words that go unchallenged can quietly shape your identity and influence your inner power."

"I've been carrying the words blank, but today I release them. They do not define me. I choose to believe this and I choose to walk in that truth."

(00:00) Marginalized and Undervalued Experiences

(06:29) Spiritual Warfare and Self-Realization

(08:07) "Unchallenged Words Shape Identity"

(14:22) "Break Negative Agreements"

(15:14) Release Limiting Words

(20:11) Embrace the Power of Yes

(22:39) "Grow the Own Your Yes Community"

Let’s Connect:

#90- Becoming Through the Messy Middle: Progress Begins Before Perfection

Thu, 05 Jun 2025 02:00:00 -0700

When Dr. Phyllis started this podcast, she didn’t have all the answers or perfect timing. What she had was a tug on her heart—a quiet knowing it was time to begin, even without feeling fully ready.

Now, after 90 episodes, one truth stands out: progress begins before perfection.

Many believe they must wait until everything is perfect. But showing up in the mess moves you forward. Dr. Phyllis’s journey has been far from polished, yet deeply transformational—and it all began with one faithful yes.

If you’re in the messy middle, know you’re not alone. You don’t need every detail figured out or a perfect plan. You just need to take the next faithful step.

Here are three principles that helped Dr. Phyllis move forward:

1. Give yourself permission to start unpolished.

Starting matters most. Progress only comes from movement.

2. Stay accountable to one yes. One goal.

Focus on one clear yes to stay grounded and avoid overwhelm.

3. Let consistency cultivate clarity.

Showing up daily—even in the mess—sharpens the vision.

Don’t overthink it. Just do it every day. Get back to basics. Keep showing up. Remember: you can be in the messy middle and still be becoming. God doesn’t require perfection—only your willingness to say yes.

(00:00) Progress Before Perfection

(05:45) Finding My Podcast's True Direction

(08:13) Finding My Ministry and Voice

(12:58) Embracing Growth and Leadership

(15:29) Perfectionism's Trap for Achievers

(22:56) Choose One Personal Goal

(27:54) Community Building for High Achievers

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"You don't need to have all of the answers to honor the next step that God is calling you towards. He just needs you to show up."

"Give yourself permission to start unpolished. You don't need to be perfect. You don't need to have the perfect setup. What matters is starting progress can only come from movement."

Let’s Connect:

#89- Episode 89 Unseen, Unspoken, Unwell - Always On, The Pressure to Perform and the Fear to Pause Part 4

Thu, 29 May 2025 02:00:00 -0700

For so many of us, there's this constant push to perform. You can be doing all the things—leading, achieving, producing—and still feel like it’s never enough. Dr. Phyllis knows that tension well. There was a season where she didn’t just do the work… she became the work.

The roles, the pressure, the nonstop motion—it all got tangled up in her identity. Slowing down felt dangerous. Like if she paused, everything would fall apart… including her.

But what she learned is this: constant motion doesn’t protect your peace. It postpones your healing. And healing requires stillness.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares the 3 mindset shifts that helped her break free from performance mode:

1. Pausing won’t make you fall behind. Rest isn’t a reward—it’s a reset. Slowing down is how you come back to clarity.

2. People might talk. Let them.Fear of judgment can’t run your life. What God is doing in you is louder than their whispers.

3.You’re not valuable because of what you do. Your worth was never tied to your output. You were called into being—not just doing.

Whether you're feeling the burnout or afraid to slow down, this episode is a gentle reminder that peace doesn’t come from performance—it comes from presence. And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is pause.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"You've been performing so long, it's hard to tell the difference between who you are and what you do."

"The truth is, is your identity was never meant to be tied to the output. What you do, God called you into being, to living, not just about what the doing is. You are a human being, not a human doing."

(00:00) Healthcare Leadership Transition Challenges

(05:48) Reevaluating Self-Worth and Success

(09:28) Pressure to Perform, Fear to Pause

(16:38) Overcoming Fear of Change

(20:18) Identifying Fear Keeping You Stuck

(24:00) "Engage with 'Unseen, Unspoken, Unwell'"

#88- Unseen, Unspoken, Unwell - The Self-Care Myth Part 3

Thu, 22 May 2025 02:00:00 -0700

You’ve heard it all when it comes to self-care: grab a coffee, get a massage, sip some tea. But Dr. Phyllis realized something important—real self-care isn’t something you schedule. It’s something you reclaim.

For a long time, self-care felt impossible to fit in. She was running from one thing to the next, barely catching her breath. And when she did squeeze in a moment for herself, it often felt like just another task. The activity might have been labeled “self-care,” but it wasn’t actually reaching her soul.

That’s when everything shifted. She began to see that self-care isn’t a temporary escape. It’s a daily realignment. Unless it addresses your depletion, it’s just surface-level maintenance. True care goes deeper.

It required asking a different question: What is your soul actually striving for?

Here are three myths Dr. Phyllis believes keep people stuck:

Self-care is a reward you get when everything’s done. In truth, it should be a rhythm, not a reward.
Self-care is a moment. Soul care is a mindset—it shapes how you move through life, not just how you pause.
Self-care is selfish. It's not. When done from a soul-centered place, it’s necessary and deeply sustaining.

When you approach care from a soul care perspective, it stops being optional. It becomes essential.

Quotes from Todays’ Episode:

“True self care isn't about as much a temporary escape, it's about a daily realignment.”

"But when you come at it from the soul care perspective, it is a necessity. God wants you to be your very best, your very best."

(00:00 )The Self-Care Myth

(04:18) Stressful Rush to Relaxation

(07:56) Redefining Self-Care Boundaries

(10:27) True Self-Care is Daily Realignment

(13:51) Soul Care vs. Surface Care

(17:45) Holistic Self-Care Responsibility

(23:13) Soul Care: Essential Self Renewal

(25:07) Shift Focus: Soul Care Essentials

Let’s Connect:

#87- Unseen, Unspoken, Unwell- When Resilience Becomes a Mask, Part 2

Fri, 16 May 2025 02:00:00 -0700

What if your strength has become your silence?

For a long time, Dr. Phyllis felt proud when people called her resilient. The more praise she got, the better she felt about herself. She thought she was stacking value and worth in the eyes of others. Her resilience became her identity, and external validation became her measure of success.

But resilience doesn’t mean you ignore your feelings. It’s not about living behind a mask. True resilience doesn’t hide the cracks or vulnerabilities.

Here are three signs that you might be wearing resilience as a mask:

You’re emotionally numb.
You downplay your feelings, convincing yourself that everything is fine when it’s not. You lose touch with who you are beyond your roles, and the emotional toll starts to build up.
Delayed feelings.
When you suppress pain or discomfort, you can’t deal with it. The longer you avoid acknowledging the hurt, the harder it becomes to process it.
You become resentful.
If you’re always hiding your pain behind strength, resentment can start to grow. Unaddressed emotions lead to bitterness and frustration.

Resilience isn’t about masking pain or pretending everything is okay. It's about acknowledging the hurt and still standing strong, without hiding the truth.

When you rely only on you for resilience, it’s not sustainable. You’ll eventually hit a wall. You’ll burn out, become disconnected, and start spiraling. True strength isn’t about being invincible; it’s about facing your struggles with authenticity, vulnerability, and without the mask.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Resilience is not about hiding pain... Resilience is about honoring truth."

“Resilience doesn’t mean that you’re not human, that you don’t acknowledge your feelings."

“When you wear this resilience, this sense of strength as a mask, you become disconnected from who you are."

(00:00) Resilience as a Mask

(08:14 Resilience: Honoring Truth Over Masks

(12:32) Embrace Vulnerability for True Resilience

(14:14) True Resilience: Healing Over Hiding

(18:53) Confront Wounds for Resilience

(21:15) Admit a Hidden Truth

(24:57) Resilience Through Faith and Vulnerability

Let’s Connect:

#86- Unseen, Unspoken, Unwell- The Real Cost of Constant Motion, Part 1

Thu, 08 May 2025 02:00:00 -0700

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and this is the part we often skip over.

The unseen. The unspoken. The quiet unraveling that happens when you stay in motion too long, carry too much, and check in on everyone but yourself. Dr. Phyllis has been on that treadmill. She’s run herself into the ground trying to hold it all together. And she knows firsthand: looking like you have it together doesn’t mean you’re okay.

Ignoring what’s going on inside—telling yourself it’s not that bad, convincing yourself you don’t have time to deal—isn’t strength. And making your struggles invisible isn’t a solution.

Dr. Phyllis offers a simple three-part self-audit to return to, especially when life feels heavy:

1. Spiritual Depletion: When was the last time you felt spiritually grounded? Not distracted or productive—genuinely fed?

2. Emotional Leakage: Are you snappy? Numb? Avoiding what you know you need to face? Those signals matter.

3. Mental Overload: What’s filling your mind right now? Is it clear or chaotic?

This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about noticing. Naming. Responding. You are allowed to pause. To recalibrate. To be honest about what you need.

Because your yes, your purpose, your presence—they all matter.

But so does your health. Start with a check-in. Start with you.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Looking like you're holding it, you're keeping it all together, you got it going on, does not mean you're okay."

“You check in on everyone else, but who checks on you? And when was the last time you stopped long enough to listen to your own heart?”

(00:00) The Real Cost of Constant Motion

(04:36) Sacrificing Self for Validation Costs

(07:20) Breaking the Exhaustion Treadmill

(12:10) Daily Emotional Wellness Check-In

(16:33) Spiritual Depletion and Emotional Leakage

(21:05) Costs of Constant Motion

(23:20) Truth Pause: Self-Reflection Guide

Let’s Connect:

#85-Time Sensitive: An Urgent Call to Reconnect with Your True Self

Thu, 01 May 2025 02:00:00 -0700

You know those emails marked time-sensitive? The ones that make you pause and pay attention? Consider this your version of that—but instead of a deadline or a task, it’s an invitation. An inner nudge from the part of you that’s quietly asking to be seen.

Dr. Phyllis knows this feeling all too well. There was a season in her life where she was constantly overcommitted, always doing, always chasing—yet deeply disconnected from herself. You are not just the sum of your roles, your tasks, or your accomplishments. You are a whole, valuable person—worthy of joy, rest, and presence. And if you’ve been feeling stretched thin, there are signals trying to get your attention.

Here are three time-sensitive calls to reconnect with yourself:

You can’t find yourself beyond your responsibilities.
You feel invisible inside your own life.
You’re under constant pressure but feel little joy.

These signals aren’t signs of weakness—they’re invitations. They’re reminders that it’s time to pause, breathe, and come back to yourself. Dr. Phyllis encourages you to ask this question each day this week: “Who am I beyond what I do?”

Because this isn’t just about slowing down—it’s about remembering what matters. It’s about reclaiming your joy. This is your time-sensitive call to reconnect with the person you were always meant to be.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“These signals aren’t signs of weakness. They are signs to pause and breathe and to come home to reconnect to who you are”

(00:00) Reconnect Urgently with Your Self

(05:40) Reconnecting With Intentional Living

(07:15) Reconnecting With Your True Self

(11:30) Discovering Self Beyond Daily Roles

(16:54) Reconnecting: Embrace Your Yes

Let’s Connect:

#84-The Crossroads of YES: Finding Your Authentic Self in a Season of Resurrection

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0700

There are seasons when life feels like it’s asking a bigger question—one that can’t be ignored or brushed aside. In these moments, there’s often a crossroads: one path is known, predictable, and familiar. The other carries the weight of uncertainty but also the possibility of something more.

Today’s episode explores that very moment—what Dr. Phyllis calls “the crossroads of yes.” It’s the space where old patterns begin to feel too small, where the roles once played out of habit no longer feel true. There’s a stirring inside that says: something has to change. This is where a new season can begin—a resurrection season.

Dr. Phyllis offers a powerful framework for this shift. The YES framework is a tool to help untangle the obligations that no longer serve and to step fully into identity, essence, and purpose.

Y – Yield the false identity

E – Embrace your essence

S – Step into purpose

When you start asking better questions, everything begins to shift.

What have you been saying yes to out of obligation?

Is that still serving you?

Is it still aligned with where you're going?

You can’t step fully into your “yes” if you’re still clinging to what was.

Let this be the season where you resurrect what matters most.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"You cannot resurrect your authentic self, your identity, while still carrying the past”

(00:00) "Choosing Your Resurrection Path"

(03:56) Michelle Obama Parallel

(09:51) "Resurrect Your Authentic Yes"

(12:27) "Yield False Identity, Embrace Essence"

(16:03) "Intentional Yes, Not Obligated"

Let’s Connect:

#83- How Are You Really Doing? A Small Question with Growth Power

Thu, 17 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0700

How Are You Really Doing? It’s a small question. One we often toss into conversation without pausing to hear the answer.

But when asked with intention, How are you really doing? becomes a powerful invitation to pause, reflect, and move toward deeper emotional honesty.

Dr. Phyllis has spent years making this question part of her regular rhythm—with friends, family, clients, and even herself. Not just as a social nicety, but as a sincere check-in. Because too often, we answer with “I’m fine” when our lives feel anything but. There’s pressure to hold it all together. To keep moving. To not fall apart. And sometimes, it feels safer to stay silent than to say what’s really going on beneath the surface.

But silence isn’t always strength. And emotional avoidance doesn’t create peace—it only postpones it.

That’s why Dr. Phyllis encourages a simple, intentional practice: the REAL Check-In. It’s a tool designed to create space for honesty, healing, and clarity.

R: Recognize your feelings—without judgment.

E: Express those emotions in a safe space.

A: Ask for divine guidance.

L: Let those emotions lead you to your next step.

This isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about living with honesty.

Because when we stop to ask how we’re really doing—and we’re brave enough to answer—growth begins.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Emotional honesty is not a breakdown, it's a breakthrough."

00:00 "Truly Listening to 'How Are You?'"

06:31 "Feeling Seen and Heard"

08:55 "Invisible Among Achievements"

12:25 "Real Check-In Framework"

16:43 Self-Care: Renew and Refresh

Let’s Connect:

#82- From Why to What Now: Getting Unstuck and Stepping Into Your Next Chapter

Thu, 10 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0700

“Why me?” “Why now?” We’ve all had seasons where those questions take over. The conversations play on repeat. The decisions get rehashed. And somehow, we convince ourselves that if we could just figure out why, we’d finally feel peace.

But here’s what Dr. Phyllis gently reminds us:

You don’t have to know why to move forward.

You just have to trust that forward is still possible.

That shift—from why to what now—changes everything. It’s the difference between staying stuck and starting again. Between spiraling in the past and stepping into your next chapter.

Dr. Phyllis shares a simple but powerful mindset framework for moving forward:

W – Witness what you’re feeling.

H – Hold space, not hostage.

A – Ask a better question.

T – Take that step.

So think of one area where you’ve been circling—maybe a relationship, a job, a decision you can’t stop replaying.

Instead of asking, Why did I stay so long?

Try asking, What do I need now?

What kind of life do I want to build moving forward?

There’s no perfect roadmap. But there is always a next step. And you don’t have to have all the answers to take it. Trade your why for a what now—and leave the rest in God’s hands.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“We have to change the question from why to what now and leave the rest in God’s hands”

“We have to trust the process, Sis”

00:00 "The Pursuit of Why"

04:39 "Trust the Process to Move Forward"

08:47 "Forward-Facing Self-Reflection"

13:20 "Reflect and Move Forward"

14:47 "Embrace Authenticity and Aligned Action"

Let’s Connect:

#81- The Mirror Is Not the Measure: Self-Criticism to Self-Acceptance

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 02:00:00 -0700

It’s easy to catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror or in a photo and immediately start picking apart every detail. The way our clothes fit, the shape of our body, the expression on our face—we find flaws before we find anything to celebrate. And then, without realizing it, we start believing that the mirror defines us.

Dr. Phyllis is here to challenge that mindset. She reminds us that our value is not determined by a reflection. The mirror does not measure our worth, our joy, or our purpose.

If you’ve ever felt critical of yourself in a photo, you’re not alone. As women, we have a habit of zooming in on imperfections, but we can shift our focus. We can stop letting the mirror dictate how we feel about ourselves and instead embrace self-acceptance.

Dr. Phyllis shares a powerful framework to help reframe how we see ourselves:

R - Recognize when you’re slipping into self-criticism. Catch those negative thoughts before they take over.
E - Examine where these thoughts are coming from. Are they rooted in comparison? Cultural expectations? Past experiences?
F - Flip the story. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, shift to what you appreciate about yourself.
O - Own your identity beyond what the mirror shows. Your worth is not up for debate.
C - Celebrate the things that make you uniquely you. Find joy in who you are right now.
U - Understand that self-acceptance is a process, not a final destination. It takes time and practice.
S - Say yes to showing up as you are, without waiting to look a certain way first.

When we fixate on the mirror, we miss the bigger picture. We miss the joy of the moment, the growth we’ve experienced, and the presence we bring to the people around us. Psalm 139:14 reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made—nothing about us is a mistake.

So the next time you catch yourself critiquing a reflection or a photo, pause. Shift. REFOCUS. Because the mirror is not the measure of who you are.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"The mirror is not the measure of who you are and what your journey is."

"You understand that self acceptance is a process, not a destination."

(00:00) Beyond the Mirror

(04:44) "Refocus: Owning Self-Acceptance"

(08:46) "Celebrate Self and Embrace Moment"

(13:20) "Mirror Moment Challenge"

(15:22) Embrace Self and Gratitude

Let’s Connect:

#80- Authenticity Through Transparency and Vulnerability

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Dr. Phyllis used to struggle with being transparent, vulnerable, or truly authentic. In her mind, admitting that something hurt or disappointed her felt like exposing weakness. Saying it out loud made it real, and that was scary. So she kept things to herself, believing that staying silent was the strong thing to do.

But over time, she realized that holding it all in wasn’t strength—it was keeping her stuck. She couldn’t always communicate what she was feeling, and that led to a cycle of misperceptions. People saw resilience, but underneath it was exhaustion. So many women do the same thing, wearing this idea of resilience like armor, thinking that powering through means we’re okay.

That’s why Dr. Phyllis has made it her mission to help women be real—with themselves and with each other. Doing the work and taking that first step toward honesty is hard, but it changes everything. Because when you finally allow yourself to be transparent, you realize you’re not alone. Other women have been there. Other women are there.

Nobody gets it right all the time. We all have things we wish we’d done differently, but we also have things we’ve done well. Being open about the hard parts doesn’t make you less resilient—it makes you human. And when you stop carrying it all alone, you actually make room to refuel, refresh, and fill yourself with what truly matters.

Transparency isn’t a weakness. It’s a gift. And when one woman steps into it, she gives others permission to do the same.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"When you let go of this guard that you've had, this armor that you've had to build up, it allows you to get off of that treadmill and start refreshing and refueling."

“Being resilient doesn't mean that we're not human and we don't have fears or doubts or concerns or disappointments."

(00:00) Retirement Celebration and Reflection

(04:22) Meaningful Family Celebrations Venue

(08:17) Embracing Authentic Relationships

(12:56) Lost Connection with Self and Others

(14:45) Embracing Imperfection and Humanity

(17:46) Embracing Authenticity Through Vulnerability

(23:19) Facing Our Life's Journey

(24:38) Living Intentionally Transforms Everything

(28:33) Empowering Authentic Christian Women

Let’s Connect:

#79- Relationships Over Roles

Thu, 20 Mar 2025 02:00:00 -0700

For years, Dr. Phyllis believed her worth was tied to the roles she filled. She chased perfection, sought external validation, and measured success by what she accomplished. But standing at her retirement party, reflecting on a lifetime of experiences, she shared a truth that had reshaped her journey—relationships matter more than roles.

The titles, the responsibilities, the endless striving—it was never about those things. What truly lasts are the connections we build—with ourselves, with God, and with the people who mean the most. Through emotional and physical transformation, Dr. Phyllis has learned that fulfillment doesn’t come from doing more but from being present, intentional, and aligned with what truly matters.

Now, she’s committed to helping others rediscover their purpose. To step away from depletion and into a life that feels whole. Every day holds potential. Every decision is an opportunity to say yes to what aligns with who we truly are.

Retirement isn’t the end—it’s a new beginning. A chance to reconnect with passions, live with intention, and continue growing. Life is precious.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Every day is potential. Rediscover your purpose even while juggling life's many roles."

(00:00) Celebrating Genuine Connections

(04:16) Journey to Embrace Inner Light

(08:51) Owning Your Yes: Personal Journey

Let’s Connect:

#78- The Stress of Trying to Stay Ahead

Thu, 13 Mar 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Your mind is always racing. You’re constantly in fix-it mode, solving problems before they happen. Always preparing, always anticipating. You tell yourself that if you stay ahead, you can avoid the crisis. But in reality, you’re just living on edge—trying to control every detail, yet feeling more disconnected than ever.

It’s stressful, isn’t it?

Your nervous system is on high alert. You get into control mode, convinced that if you let your guard down, everything will fall apart. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you’re always trying to get ahead? What is it that you’re afraid of?

We don’t like to admit our fears. But naming them is the first step to loosening their grip. The truth is, everything is not yours to carry.

You have to stop worrying about tomorrow—because God is already ahead of you. He’s already there, already working. You don’t have to control everything. The fear of releasing control is real, but so is the peace that comes when you trust that someone else—even God—has this.

Instead of holding onto everything so tightly, ask yourself:

What do I actually need to do?
What do I need to let others do?

When you’re working from depletion, trying to stay ahead just leaves you more exhausted. So before your mind starts racing again, stop and pause: "Lord, what do I need to do?" And then, take the next right step.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Trying to stay ahead can actually keep you stuck stuck in stress, exhaustion and depletion."

"Fear is a part of the human condition. But calling it out removes its grasp on us and its power over us."

(00:00) "Always Staying Ahead Stress"

(03:21) Breaking the Cycle of Depletion

(06:40) Parental Wisdom and Self-Worth Struggles

(10:56) Overcoming Fear and Staying Present

(16:36) Prayer and Strength in Daily Life

(19:45) Embracing Patience and Boundaries

(23:24) "Pause, Reflect, and Connect"

Let’s Connect:

https://drphyllishayesreams.com/autopilot-audit/

#77- Is Burnout Due to Stress or Ego?

Thu, 06 Mar 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Is burnout due to stress or ego? We often think of burnout as a response to external pressures—work, family, volunteering—but it’s more than just stress. Compassion fatigue happens when we give and give without refueling, leaving us empty. And autopilot living kicks in when we keep pushing through the exhaustion, ignoring the signs until we hit a wall.

But here's the real question: Is burnout driven by stress, or is it ego? Ego convinces us that we need to do more, be perfect, and seek validation from others. We say “yes” to everything, thinking that if we just keep going, we’ll find our worth. But no matter how much we give, it’s never enough.

If you’re feeling burned out, overwhelmed, or empty, it’s time to take a step back and reflect. Are you truly serving others, or are you operating from a place of ego, trying to prove something to yourself or others? It’s okay to stop. Take a break. Reassess your priorities and realign with what truly matters.

You don't have to keep running on empty. Give yourself permission to say "no," prioritize your well-being, and focus on what brings you joy and fulfillment. Your worth isn’t found in how much you give or achieve. You are enough, just as you are.

Take the Auto-Pilot Audit Quiz

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Your self-worth, your value, your validation—it's never going to come from external titles."

"I truly feel that the way to do that is to learn how to own your yes and say yes to things with intention and to know when it's time to stop saying yes to some things."

(00:00) Intentional Yes for Fulfillment

(04:59) Pushing Through to Burnout

(06:48) Autopilot: Stress Response or Ego?"

(11:22) Living Beyond Ego

(15:02) True Self-Worth Comes Within

(16:51) Appreciation's Inconsistency Across Roles

(19:56) Overcoming Christian Women's Compassion Fatigue

(23:06) Own Your Yes Today

Let’s Connect:

#76- Present Body, Absent Mind: When Life Becomes One Big Blur

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Have you ever caught yourself going through the motions, only to stop and wonder—did I even lock the door? You drove the usual route, did the usual tasks, had the usual conversations, but none of it fully registered. It all feels like one big blur.

That’s auto-pilot living. Your body is present, but your mind is somewhere else. You’re not engaged in the moment, and over time, life starts to feel distant, routine, almost numb.

Dr. Phyllis is breaking this down today—how auto-pilot sneaks into our daily lives, how it affects the way we interact and operate, and what it takes to break free. It’s easy to get stuck in the routine, but you don’t have to stay there.

The first step is recognizing it, owning it, and taking back control of your yes. When you start living with intention, when your mind is where your body is, everything changes. Life isn’t meant to be a blur. It’s meant to be fully lived.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"It's never too late to change your mindset and tweak things so that you can live with intention."

"Have you ever had that where you're sitting there listening to someone talk and your head is not really into what they're saying

(00:00) Living on Autopilot

(06:09) "Treadmill of Overcommitment"

(09:41) Overwhelmed and Disconnected Reality

(13:45) "Transform Autopilot Living"

(16:15) "Mindset Change and Autopilot Audit"

Let’s Connect:

#75- Embracing Every Turn: Finding Your God-Aligned Yes

Thu, 20 Feb 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Life is full of twists and turns, unexpected transitions, and moments that make us question if we’re heading in the right direction. But what if every step, every change, and even every detour is part of God’s plan? What if instead of seeing these shifts as mistakes, we saw them as stepping stones leading us toward alignment with His purpose?

This journey isn’t about standing still or forcing yourself into a path that no longer fits. It’s about finding the ‘yes’ that aligns with God’s plan for you. There is freedom in embracing every step along the way, in allowing yourself to grow, shift, and become who you were meant to be

Sometimes, there just isn’t an answer for everything. And sis, that’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out. What’s powerful is knowing where to go to seek wisdom, who to lean on, and how to listen to the Holy Spirit. When you allow yourself to release the pressure of having all the answers, you create space for God to move, to reveal, and to lead.

Right now, I want you to give yourself permission to embrace your current path. Not where you think you should be, not where others expect you to be, but exactly where you are at this moment. There is purpose in this season.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"There's a freedom that comes with embracing every step of the journey."

"I want you to give yourself permission, starting right now, to embrace your current path and your current place in your journey."

(00:00) Awakening: Navigating Life's Transitions

(05:41) Embrace Journey's Changes

(09:02) Acknowledging Divine Source of Strength

(12:03) Embrace Freedom, Seek True Purpose

(17:39) Embrace Growth and Self-Discovery

(19:34) Grant Her Courage and Peace

Let’s Connect:

#74- From Football to Faith: Why Owning Your Yes Means Trusting God's Game Plan

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Somebody is going to lose the game. That’s just how it works. One team walks away with the win, the other with a loss. And just like in football, life presents us with choices—plays we think will move us forward, decisions that look good on paper. But what happens when both options seem right? When saying yes feels like the obvious next move, but deep down, we’re unsure?

Not every opportunity is meant for us. Not every request requires an urgent response. And everybody’s fire doesn’t have to be our fire. The anxiety we feel when faced with too many choices isn’t a sign to push forward—it’s often God telling us to step back and trust him.

God’s plan is already in motion. He’s calling the plays, shaping the path, and leading the way. Our job isn’t to force a decision—it’s to listen. To wait. To trust.

If you’re feeling stuck, let this be your reminder: You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Surrender the outcome. Let go of the pressure. And trust that God’s plan will unfold exactly as it should.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Everybody's fire doesn't have to be my fire."

"Remember, sometimes the best thing to do is do nothing until you let God unfold his game plan. Let God call the plays."

(00:00) Eagles vs. Chiefs: Fan Perspective

(05:06) Decision Anxiety and Overcommitment

(06:43) Balancing Overcommitment and Enjoyment

(10:19) Evaluate Priorities, Reduce Urgency

(15:35) "Let God Guide You"

(16:59) Living with Intent and Purpose

Let’s Connect:

#73- Choosing What Is Better: A Season of Sacred Transition

Thu, 06 Feb 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Transitions can feel uncertain. Even when change is necessary or positive, it often stirs a mix of emotions. But embracing these sacred shifts allows us to grow, discover deeper purpose, and align with God’s calling.

Dr. Phyllis shares her personal journey as she steps away from decades of service in medicine into a new chapter. Drawing wisdom from Luke 10 and the story of Martha and Mary, she encourages us to pause and reflect on what truly matters—choosing what is better.

Life pulls us in many directions, often keeping us occupied with good things. Like Martha, we get caught up in responsibilities, expectations, and the need to do more. But Jesus gently reminds us, just as he reminded Martha, that sometimes we need to set aside distractions, sit at his feet, and embrace his greater plan for us.

Dr. Phyllis speaks with wisdom and grace, reminding us that God is in control—even when transitions feel overwhelming. She encourages women to keep pursuing God’s purpose even in the midst of chaos. Transitions aren’t just about what’s ending; they’re sacred opportunities for transformation. It takes courage to release what is good in order to make space for something greater.

As she steps into her new season, Dr. Phyllis leaves a powerful reminder: letting go of something good doesn’t mean failure—it means making room for something better. She urges us to keep growing, invest in our own joy, and trust that God is leading us toward something beautiful.

If you’re navigating a season of transition, this episode will meet you right where you are—reminding you that you’re not alone.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Transitions can feel scary, but they're also sacred."

"Aligning with Purpose: Owning my yes, you owning your yes isn't a one time decision. It's a continuous journey of aligning ourselves with God's purpose for our lives."

(00:00) "Joyful Resilience & Sacred Transition"

(03:09) Embracing Change: Choosing the Better

(07:52) Divine Purpose Amid Chaos

(09:41) Embrace Change: Listen to God

(13:06) Embrace Better Over Good

Let’s Connect:

#72- Too Much On Your Plate: How to Stop Overloading and Start Living with Joyful Intention

Thu, 30 Jan 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Have you ever walked into a buffet and overloaded your plate, only to realize later it was too much? That’s how Dr. Phyllis felt for years—saying "yes" to everything, thinking it would bring fulfillment, only to feel exhausted and unsatisfied. When we fill our lives with too many tasks and commitments, it often leads to frustration and burnout.

As Christian women, we're natural caregivers and go-getters, eager to help. But by trying to please everyone, we lose sight of what truly nourishes our spirits. We end up doing things out of obligation, not purpose, which leaves us drained and overwhelmed.

Dr. Phyllis realized the key to fulfillment wasn’t doing more, but doing less with intention. She started focusing on what truly mattered to her and aligned her life with her values, which brought her peace and fulfillment.

Take a moment to reflect: What’s on your plate right now? Are you saying "yes" to things that don’t align with your purpose or that leave you feeling drained?

It’s time to start saying "no" to what doesn’t serve you. Releasing the unnecessary creates space for what really matters—caring for yourself, nurturing relationships, and spending time with God. By focusing on what aligns with your calling, you’ll find the peace you’ve been craving.

True fulfillment comes from simplicity and purpose, not from overloading yourself.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"The truth is that the emptiness we feel cannot be filled by more tasks, more roles or busyness. It's a spiritual longing”

"Owning your yes is tapping into not what we think, but what God is telling us to do”

Journal Prompts:

How to evaluate what belongs on your plate:
Does this bring joy and peace?
Is it aligned with God’s purpose for me?
Is it necessary, or is it an empty calorie?
Am I saying yes out of fear or obligation?
Practical steps to shift:
Spend time in prayer and reflection.
Clarify your priorities and values.
Practice saying "no" without guilt.
Focus on presence and intention, not perfection.

(00:00) Overstuffed Life: Seeking Fulfillment

(03:00) Buffet Mindset and Spiritual Fulfillment

(07:19) Escaping Autopilot: Finding True Fulfillment

(14:09) Overcommitment Blocking Personal Growth

(17:34) Own Your Journey, Embrace Change

(22:39) "Living with Purpose Through Faith"

(26:43) Assessing Life's Essential Tasks

(28:45) "Embrace Transitions: Prioritize and Reflect"

(32:33) "Empowering Christian Women Together"

Let’s Connect:

#71- Compassion Fatigue: Emotional Investment Without Return on Investment

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Have you ever felt completely drained—like you’ve poured out every ounce of your energy and there’s just nothing left? If you’re nodding, Sis, you might be experiencing compassion fatigue. It’s a term often linked with therapists, first responders, or medical professionals, but it can affect anyone who invests deeply in others without replenishing their own well-being.

Life pulls us in a million directions—family responsibilities, careers, marriage, bills, and the inevitable highs and lows that come with it all. When you’re a giver, it’s easy to forget that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Without pausing to reflect on how you’re expending your energy, you risk becoming depleted, running on edge, and losing the joy that makes life meaningful.

Here’s the truth: You’re only called to carry the load that God has asked you to carry. Not more. Not less. So, what can you do?

Take ten minutes today to pause. Put the phone down, stop scrolling, and just breathe. Release the guilt and self-criticism. You’re human, and it’s okay to rest.

Reset your priorities. Pour into yourself. It’s not selfish—it’s essential. When you make space to nurture your own well-being, you’ll find that joy isn’t fleeting. It’s sustainable.

Remember, Sis, it’s never too late to step off the treadmill, reassess, and find balance. Joy is waiting—you just have to make room for it.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“You have to give yourself permission and perspective. Often the reason we're running, running, running is because of these narratives we have about how we're supposed to navigate life, how we're supposed to show up in life as resilient women."

"If you are not careful and you're not looking at ways to replenish your stores, your reserves, you will have so much energy going out that you become depleted to the point that you are continually on edge."

(00:00) Living on Edge: Anticipating Demands

(07:31) Assess Your Emotional Investments

(13:01 )Replenish Your Energy

(14:31) Finding Solace: A Moment to Breathe

(20:52 )Reflect on Your New Year Feelings

(23:59 )Joy Fueled Resilient Women

(25:49 )Self-Investment Reminder

Let’s Connect:

#70- What will Fuel Your Resilience in the New Year

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Resilience is often misunderstood. Many think it’s about constantly pushing through, checking off tasks, and never slowing down. But this kind of resilience can quickly become a cycle—one that leads to burnout.

So, what truly fuels resilience? It’s a question worth asking, because the answer can open up a new perspective and vision for life.

Resilience doesn’t have to come from enduring everything without pause. True resilience is fueled by something deeper. It comes from joy, from living authentically, and from being present in the moment. It’s about embracing life fully—without the weight of regrets or the rush of constantly doing more.

For many, resilience may be rooted in fear—fear of not being enough, fear of failure, or the need for external validation. But resilience based on fear or perfectionism only leads to exhaustion. It’s a kind of resilience that burns people out, not one that lifts them up.

True resilience is about connecting to what matters most, finding peace in the present, and living with purpose. It’s about choosing joy over pressure, and authenticity over perfectionism.

When resilience is rooted in joy, it doesn’t drain—it sustains. It becomes a force that lifts up and encourages, rather than something that must constantly be pushed through.

Sis, what will fuel your resilience today? You don’t have to live life on autopilot. It’s possible to choose joy, to live with intention, and to let resilience be powered by what truly matters.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"The problem with seeking external validation, it will never be enough."

"We have happy moments. But sustainable joy comes from living authentically and living in the moment and creating joy for yourself”

(00:00) Resilient community's evolving journey.

(03:59) Listening to inner guidance, releasing unaligned connections.

(06:45) Encouragement and faith inspire podcast transformation journey.

(12:22) Reevaluating resilience and self-worth in relationships.

(16:51) Finding time for personal growth amidst busyness.

(21:19) Seeking validation isn't fulfilling; internal acceptance matters.

(24:13) Control, comparison, and perfectionism hinder self-worth.

(27:39) Live authentically for joy-fueled resilience.

(31:09) Five pillars cultivate joy-fueled resilience within.

Let’s Connect:

#69- Moving Forward with Hope and Purpose in 2025

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 02:00:00 -0700

Moving into 2025 is an opportunity to step forward with hope and purpose. While 2024 may have brought its share of breakthroughs and setbacks, it’s important to see it as a chapter in a much larger story. The lessons of last year are tools for growth, not limits on your future.

What did 2024 teach you about yourself? Maybe it revealed strengths you didn’t know you had or opened your eyes to areas where growth is still needed. It’s easy to dwell on disappointments, but those moments don’t define you. Instead, they can be stepping stones toward something greater.

Sis, we all face moments when fear and self-doubt threaten to hold us back. It’s easier to focus on helping others fulfill their dreams while putting our own on hold. But stepping into your purpose requires courage, trust, and the belief that you were created for something meaningful.

You’re not walking this path alone, and you’re not the only one who feels the weight of uncertainty. Let this new year be a time to embrace the truth that God’s plans for you are good and that he’s not finished with your story.

As you move forward, don’t put a period where God places a comma. Take time to reflect on what you hope to see in 2025. Write it down, pray about it, and allow yourself to dream. It’s never too late to begin again, to take that next step, and to trust that this is the season to step into all that you were made for.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“If 2024 taught us anything, it's that life is precious and fleeting. God calls us to live in the moment, not in fear of the future or regret of the past."

"Living in the moment doesn't mean that you're ignoring your responsibilities. It means fully embracing life and the life that God has given you."

(00:00) Embrace hope, courage, and purposeful growth today.

(05:21) Realign priorities, deepen faith, learn reliance.

(07:11) Disappointed by divisiveness during U.S. presidential election.

(13:06) Use phone apps or journal to jot insights.

(15:41) Transition from focusing on death to life.

(17:41)Embrace God's timing; live joyfully, responsibly.

(23:35) Trust God's timing; fear not, live purposefully.

(25:56) Courageously embrace personal growth and God's purpose.

(28:51) Embrace God's purpose; reflect, dream, and pray.

Let’s Connect:

#68- Fail Fast and Move On

Thu, 02 Jan 2025 02:00:00 -0700

In life, we often put a lot of pressure on ourselves to succeed. We feel like every choice, every project, and every decision needs to be perfect. But here's the truth: not everything will work out, and that's okay.

The concept of “fail fast and move on” is a powerful tool for growth and resilience. It's about recognizing when something isn’t working and not wasting any more energy trying to make it work.

We’ve all been there: stuck in a situation that isn’t right, but we keep pushing because we don’t want to admit defeat. The fear of failure or the feeling of wasted time can keep us in a loop, trying to make things work when it’s clear they won’t. But this mindset keeps us stuck and prevents us from reaching our full potential.

Letting go isn't about quitting—iIt's about making space for something better and not holding onto things that aren’t aligned with your goals or values.

Once you’ve made the decision to move on, it’s time to focus on what’s next. What can you do that will bring you closer to your goals? What will fuel your growth and help you become the person you want to be?

(00:00) Live intentionally, embrace life's fluid seasons.

(06:51) Structured paths offer false control illusions.

(09:46) Know when to persevere or let go.

(12:33) Passion shifted; growth requires discernment, act accordingly.

(15:29) Let go, fail fast, and move forward.

(18:50) Empower and renew her through Jesus Christ.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"There's a difference between quitting when something is hard or difficult versus getting out of something, refusing to continue in something that is causing you harm or is no longer serving your growth trajectory.

“It's okay to quit in the middle of something that is no longer serving you or investing in your personal growth."

#67- Divine Disruption: Moving from Autopilot to Presence

Thu, 26 Dec 2024 02:00:00 -0700

Living life on autopilot can feel a lot like running on a treadmill—always moving but never truly getting anywhere. Tasks pile up, expectations mount, and before you know it, the days blur together in a flurry of doing. Everything on the surface might look fine, but underneath, there’s a quiet ache—a sense that something’s missing.

This state of functional overwhelm is often mistaken for resilience. Society praises the go-getters, the ones who juggle it all and just keep pushing. But is that really resilience? Behind the mask of “having it all together,” there’s a withering of joy, connection, and purpose.

The truth is, resilience isn’t about pushing harder. It’s about stepping back. Presence is the antidote to overwhelm. It’s the conscious choice to be intentional with your time, your energy, and your relationships.

Sometimes, life offers divine interruptions—moments that force a pause and invite reflection. These are opportunities to step off the treadmill and recalibrate. They reveal what’s been missing: connection with God, with yourself, and with what truly matters.

Joy-fueled resilience isn’t a far-off dream, it’s a practice that begins with permission. Permission to slow down. Permission to say no to the things that drain you. Permission to focus on what fills your life with purpose and meaning.

As the year winds down, there’s a chance to reflect on how you’re living. Are you present in the moments that matter, or are you simply getting through each day? It’s not about perfection… it’s about intention. The joy, hope, and purpose you crave are waiting to be rediscovered—not in doing more, but in choosing to live with presence and grace.

(00:00) From autopilot life to joy-fueled resilience.

(05:42) Overwhelmed by managing life, lacked genuine connection.

(11:25) Determined multitasker managed work, family, chemotherapy challenges.

(14:07) Share humanity with kids to stop cycles.

(17:06) Daily resilience through life's disruptions and challenges.

(23:38) Joyful transformation is a worthwhile, intentional journey.

(25:22) Commit to joyful, purposeful living in 2025.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"You help love, encourage, fill in the gap, shield, diffuse, serve, caregive, and go the extra mile. That's just who you are. And you also, in private, struggle with feelings of exhaustion, overwhelm, and depletion."

"That's what joy-fueled resilience really is. Allowing God to be our GPS."

#66- Let Go of FOMO and Embrace JOMO

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 02:00:00 -0700

The holiday season is here, and along with it comes a never-ending string of parties, events, and gatherings. Invitations pile up, and so do expectations—both our own and those we think others have for us. It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to do it all, only to find yourself stretched thin, burnt out, and wondering how you got here in the first place.

Sound familiar?

Maybe you’ve RSVP’d “yes” but deep down think, I just don’t want to go. Yet, instead of staying home, you push yourself to show up. Why? Often, it’s the fear of missing out—FOMO—that keeps us in motion. We don’t want to feel left out or let others down. But this constant pushing and stretching thin isn’t sustainable, and it often robs us of the joy this season is supposed to bring.

Here’s a different perspective: what if, instead of FOMO, you embraced JOMO—the joy of missing out? Sometimes saying no can bring the relief and rest you truly need. By skipping what drains you, you create space to pour energy back into what matters most.

This holiday season, give yourself permission to pause. It’s okay to miss out if it means finding joy, peace, and a little more space to breathe.

(0:00) Overwhelmed by overlapping commitments and responsibilities.

(06:02) Be present and avoid living on autopilot.

(08:55) Embrace JOMO: Joy Of Missing Out.

(13:38) Practice moderation to avoid overwhelming yourself.

(15:08) Embrace absence; it's okay to miss events.

(18:21) Prioritize activities to focus on what's important.

(21:30) Focus on joy; let go of FOMO.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Our plate is so full, and life keeps serving up stuff on our plate without asking us how much we want."

"I want you to really evaluate every upcoming activity over the holiday season. Every dinner, every lunch, every breakfast, every meeting, every program, every event, and yes, every sale, everything. Please take a moment and prioritize. Where do you just have to be? Where do you just really, really have to be?"

#65- Intentional Pause for the Cause of YOU

Thu, 12 Dec 2024 02:00:00 -0700

During the holiday season, everything seems magnified. The joy, the connections, the gratitude—but also the pressure, the grief, and the exhaustion. You’re juggling so much that it feels impossible to think clearly. Maybe you’ve caught yourself snapping at the smallest things or retreating because everything feels too overwhelming. Perhaps you’ve felt that heavy, unshakable sense of impending doom, all while running on empty.

It’s okay to admit that you’re tired.

Here’s the truth: it’s okay to take a break. Sometimes, the most vital thing you can do is pause. Mental health matters just as much as physical health, and the relentless pace of life doesn’t often give us space to acknowledge that. But when you create that space intentionally, when you step off the treadmill, you gain something precious: perspective.

That pause is not a sign of weakness. It’s grace. It’s a way of telling yourself that you are important. You are worth the time it takes to refuel, to breathe, and to simply be. It’s a chance to reconnect with what truly matters and to remind yourself that you don’t have to carry it all.

So if you’re feeling the weight of this season pressing down on you, I want you to hear this from the depth of my heart. Take that pause. Step back. Breathe. You’re too important to keep running yourself into the ground.

Refuel, reset, and remember—you don’t have to do it all. You just need to take care of you.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"Mental health is just as important as physical health."

"Your wellness is critical for you to fulfill the purpose that God has called you for, he's created you for so that you can find joy."

"The best gift you can give yourself for the holidays is stepping off the treadmill."

(00:00) Feeling overwhelmed, stagnant, longing for hope, growth.

(07:07) Fall and holidays evoke memories and self-coaching.

(11:35) Pause for self-care; prioritize mental health.

(16:11) Pause, refuel, gain perspective from life's stage.

(18:52) Claim your year: grow, prosper, serve joyfully.

#64 Power of Silence, Part 3: Take a Moment to Change Hats

Thu, 05 Dec 2024 02:00:00 -0700

As resilient women, we wear a lot of hats. Caregiver, professional, friend, partner, mentor—the list goes on. We juggle roles with grace, but sometimes, in the rush of it all, we forget to take a breath. We move from one responsibility to the next without pausing to exhale, let alone change hats. And over time, everything builds up.

We don’t realize how much we carry from one role to another until the weight feels unbearable. The stress from one space seeps into the next, and suddenly, what was manageable becomes overwhelming.

Before you step into the next role, pause. Just five minutes can make all the difference. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and take off one hat before putting on another. That small act of silence can renew and refresh your spirit, leaving you better equipped for the next space you’re about to enter.

But when we pause, we reset. We allow ourselves to fully embrace each role with clarity and presence. You’re a resilient woman, and you wear many hats. But you’re not meant to carry them all at once. Take the time to exhale and refresh—you deserve it.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"You hope that you can focus on one role at a time, but you are all of those roles. You are a compilation of all of those roles and responsibilities at one time."

"There is a benefit in learning how to compartmentalize, to be able to be where you're at at that moment."

"You have to take a moment to transition and change hats."

(00:00) Resilient women wear many hats daily.

(06:30) Roles and stress at work affect home life.

(12:17) Recognize emotions, separate them, and transition smoothly.

(17:03) Transition to worship, allow Holy Spirit guidance.

(20:51) Transition roles, take breathers, avoid martyrdom.

(21:56) Take moments to pause and exhale regularly.

#63- Power of Silence, Part 2: Let God Meet You in the Garden

Thu, 28 Nov 2024 02:00:00 -0700

We live in a world that’s anything but quiet. The endless notifications, the to-do lists that never end, and the constant pull to keep going can drown out even our own thoughts. But there’s a quiet invitation waiting for you—a sacred garden of silence where you can meet Him. Are you carving out the time to step into it?

No one is going to tell you to pause. No one is going to hand you the permission slip to rest your mind. The truth is, you have to take that step yourself. We convince ourselves we’re fine, that we can keep going, that saying “no” to others isn’t an option. But when we avoid quiet, we miss the gentle nudge to say "yes" to God’s presence.

It’s not about finding time, it’s about making time. The beginning of your day is often the best place to start. Before the world pulls you in a hundred directions, carve out a small slice of silence. Invite God into that space.

Silence isn’t just an absence of noise, it’s an open door for connection. It’s in the stillness that we hear him, feel his guidance, and receive the peace that only he can provide.

Bring your worries, your hopes, and even your exhaustion. Let him meet you there. This is your nudge to step into the garden today.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"No one is going to give you that time. No one's going to tell you to take time. You have to carve it out yourself."

"You feel like you're on this perpetual hamster wheeler treadmill because your brain is just overwhelmed and stressed out and overextended”

"Find that time to meet God in the garden”

(00:00) God meets you in silence and solitude.

(03:23) Create quiet moments to regain control daily.

(08:39) Take time for yourself; don't delay.

(13:08) Let God guide through silence and surrender.

(14:40) Seek renewal, invite God into your silence.

#62- Power of Silence, Part 1: The Courage to Be Uncomfortable in Silence

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 02:00:00 -0700

When was the last time you sat in complete silence? Not just a moment without conversation but a true pause- a space free from background noise, notifications or that buzz from daily life. For many of us, silence feels strange, even unsettling. We’re so used to the noise of the world- that silence can feel like a void we don’t know how to fill. But what if that discomfort is actually an invitation?

If silence feels uncomfortable, it’s worth asking: What am I afraid to hear? Is it the thoughts I’ve been avoiding, the feelings I’ve been suppressing, or the truths I’ve been reluctant to face? The background noise we cling to can sometimes act as a shield, distracting us from the deeper work we’re called to do.

But in the quiet, God meets us.

In those moments, be an active observer of what’s coming into your ears and your mind. Are you allowing distractions to fill the space that silence could occupy? Are there opportunities in your day—while driving, before bed, or early in the morning—to choose quiet instead of noise?

As you grow more comfortable with silence, you’ll notice something remarkable: it’s not empty. It’s full of clarity, peace, and even joy. The quiet becomes a place where you can reflect, reset, and reconnect with God.

Sis, silence is where the growth begins.

Quotes from Today’s Episode

"I want you, and I pray for you to have the courage to be uncomfortable in silence because in that silence is where you begin to start unlocking your joy."

"Maybe the best thing you can do, I feel, I really do feel, is don't try to find something to go jump into as a distraction, but get quiet."

"Rest your brain, rest your eyes and get quiet”

(00:00) Exploring the power and importance of silence.

(04:18) Embrace silence; overcome discomfort and fear.

(07:09) Embrace silence to unlock joy and transformation.

(14:34) Encourage personal growth by embracing uncomfortable silence.

(16:00) Embrace silence and avoid constant distractions.

#61- Stop Being the Excuse: Empower Others to Carry Their Own Weight

Thu, 14 Nov 2024 02:00:00 -0700

What if the heavy burdens you’re carrying were never meant to be yours? Many of us find ourselves shouldering responsibilities that don’t belong to us, whether it's in our homes, relationships, or work.

Today’s episode is a call to action — to stop being the excuse and start empowering others to take responsibility for their own actions. When we take on what belongs to others, whether in parenting, relationships, or work, it leaves us feeling overwhelmed and burdened with guilt.

We often confuse this behavior with resilience, thinking we can handle it all, but in reality, it just leads to stress and an ever-growing emotional load. When we constantly step in to carry others' responsibilities, we prevent them from growing and becoming accountable for their own actions.

By lightening our own load and giving others the space to rise to their own challenges, we can create healthier, more resilient relationships. True strength doesn’t come from carrying everything on our shoulders—it comes from knowing when to let go, trusting others to handle their responsibilities, and focusing on our own well-being.

So, the next time you find yourself carrying more than your fair share, ask yourself: Is this my burden to bear? And remember, it's okay to let others step up and take responsibility for their own lives.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"You have to give yourself permission to delegate responsibility and give people back their own responsibility. You have to."

"True empowerment isn't about carrying others' burdens; it's about showing them they have the strength to carry their own."

"Setting boundaries is an act of love—it teaches others the value of responsibility and accountability."

(00:00) Personalized story inspired by Joanna Weaver's book.

(04:49) Stop excuses; empower responsibility in others.

(08:18) Confusing resilience with guilt and shame impacts.

(11:37) Parenting stress from shielding kids from mistakes.

(14:44) Empower adult children, stop being their excuse.

(18:35) Reject being used as an excuse.

(23:12) Motherly leadership style: accepting undue responsibility.

(26:35) Leaders shouldn't always accept fault for problems.

(30:33) Empower others; delegate responsibility; find joy.

(32:04) Live purposefully, delegate responsibilities, avoid distractions.

(37:02) Encourage responsibility; address unfinished work constructively.

(38:59) Assess burdens and focus on personal growth

Connect with Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Ream

#60- Letting Go of Shame and Embracing Your Growth Journey

Thu, 07 Nov 2024 02:00:00 -0700

As resilient women, we often carry the weight of shame—shame over past experiences, unmet dreams, or goals left unachieved. We’re strong, we’re determined, but sometimes we feel burdened by lingering feelings of “not enough.” We’ve gone the extra mile for others, faced storms head-on, and shown up time and again. Yet, there are moments when we feel stuck, as if we’re spinning in place rather than growing forward.

What if we could see shame differently? What if, instead of letting it keep us trapped, we took a closer look at its source and gently put it in a corner?

Many of us wear different masks. We have our public persona—the resilient, capable woman who keeps going no matter what. She’s strong, she’s unwavering, and she gets things done. But behind that mask is often a private self who feels the weight of everything she’s taken on, who may feel lost or uncertain, despite her outer strength.

Being resilient isn’t about perfection. It’s about courage—the courage to keep going, to rise above, and to learn from the things that tried to hold us down. You’ve weathered storms and navigated difficult seasons, and here you are, standing strong.

Now is the time to let go of any shame holding you back. Embrace where you’ve been and where you’re going. Remember that your resilience has carried you through so much already.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"I know how it feels when life is living you instead of you living your life."

"Feeling stuck can mean that you just don't feel like you're growing."

"So if you look at where you've come from, from birth, the experiences that you've had, there's a reason why you see yourself as a resilient person. It's because life has not always been easy."

(00:00) Lady Gaga on embracing life despite shame.

(03:24) Public extrovert, private introvert, avoiding emotions.

(07:55) Unfulfilled dreams can lead to feeling stuck.

(12:36) Resilience grows through challenges and overcoming negativity.

(14:54) Break negative cycles; everything contributes to growth.

(18:47) Helping you grow, embrace journey without shame.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Ream

#59-Celebrating Resilience as Your Superpower

Thu, 31 Oct 2024 02:00:00 -0700

Every day, it feels like something new comes at you. Some mornings, you just want to pull the covers over your head and hide from it all, but you still get up. You keep going because there's something within you – a spark of resilience that God placed there, a superpower that propels you forward.

Today, let’s celebrate that. You were created to be resilient, a woman with a big heart and a deep capacity for caring. God shaped you with purpose, and there’s nothing wrong with the way you serve and give to others. But sometimes, you forget to use that energy on yourself. This isn’t a call to stop caring for others, but a reminder to care for you just as fiercely.

Resilient woman, you don’t thrive when you feel stagnant or stuck. It’s time to fuel that resilience with joy. Lean into God’s plans for you, plans that include moving forward, learning, and becoming. He didn’t create you to be depleted or just serve others without also nurturing yourself.

So, take a moment. Think about what brings you joy. What parts of your own dreams and personal goals have you set aside? It’s time to bring those back, to embrace your superpower with love and purpose. Yes, not everyone will understand. Not everyone will see the strength behind your resilience or the depth of your heart, and that’s okay.

So, celebrate yourself. Revisit those dreams you’ve put on the shelf, and remember, this is a journey. Your resilience is a gift. Embrace it, fuel it, and use it to become all that God created you to be.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"I see you. I see everything that you do for everyone else. But now it's time to focus on you."

"Your resilience is, yes, it is your superpower. And don't let anyone make you feel bad about it."

"The opportunity is for you to become a better steward of your superpower so that you can make that shift to infusing some joy by adding in your own personal development”

(00:00) Keep going, despite overwhelming expectations and challenges.

(05:11) Passion for puzzles and helping through challenges.

(10:25) Reevaluating life's purpose and personal growth.

(11:43) Continuing growth is difficult but necessary.

(15:23) Fuel resilience with joy, personal development, growth.

(20:27) Paused, coughed, returned; acknowledged presence and struggles.

(24:59) Embrace passions; now’s your time to act.

(27:11) Share helpful insights; grow a supportive community together.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Ream

#58- Permission to Choose Heart People Over Hurt People

Thu, 24 Oct 2024 02:00:00 -0700

As we journey through different stages—whether it’s personal growth, healing, or simply choosing to do things differently—not everyone around us will understand or support the changes we make. Some people may not be able to come with us into this new season, and that’s okay. But it raises an important question: Who is walking beside you, and who is holding you back?

You have the permission to choose wisely. When you reflect on your closest circle, think about who you trust with your dreams and challenges. Not everyone will be supportive. Sometimes, hurt people—those who haven’t healed or are stuck in their own lives—can unintentionally hold you back.

But what happens when you choose heart people? Heart people are those who listen, encourage, and lift you up. They are the ones who are truly invested in your growth, walking beside you through the ups and downs, and cheering you on every step of the way. These are the people who create a sense of community and support as you navigate your new season.

So today, I challenge you to take a closer look at your circle. Who are your heart people? And who might be holding you back? Give yourself the freedom to let go of those who aren’t supporting your journey and embrace those who are. Surround yourself with heart people, and watch how your path begins to open up.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

“Who are you surrounding yourself with? Are they people who infuse joy, support your goals, and uplift your spirit? Or are they stuck in their own stagnation?”

"They are heart people who will support you. They will pour into you. They don't think your dreams are silly or you're silly."

"When you infuse joy, when you reconnect with joy, when you create joy in your life, it allows you to do the things, care for those, serve those who God has created you, has wired you to be a gift to."

(00:00) Choose wisely who you surround yourself with.

(03:40) Infuse joy, choose your companions wisely.

(08:44) Love, pray, distance from hindering friendships.

(12:59) Commitment that is rooted in support

(15:28) Create a community with supportive, validating listeners.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Ream