<![CDATA[BLUE MUMDAYS]]>dbcb30d4-c4e0-5e6e-9063-d7f0281b350bThu, 19 Jun 2025 09:27:56 +0000Captivate.fmVikki Stephensonhttps://artwork.captivate.fm/b890abf8-d2a9-48ff-ac73-acffa8636352/6IXljexBPSpWk5XAgaBog4pR.jpgBLUE MUMDAYSVikki StephensonVikki StephensonBlue MumDays is a podcast about perinatal illness, parenting and being kind to yourself. Up to 1 in 7 mums and 1 in 10 dads will suffer with their mental health after the birth of their baby. Having once interviewed the likes of Sir David Attenborough and Hans Zimmer during my BBC career, I’m now speaking to mums, dads and mental health experts each week, in an effort to understand my own experience of postnatal depression. Dispelling myths, smashing stigma & bringing hope to parents having a hard time.https://bluemumdays.captivate.fmfalseepisodicnopodcastSouth London, England"Just Make It Stop!" - Driven to the Edge: Sophie Burch (Part 1)"Just Make It Stop!" - Driven to the Edge: Sophie Burch (Part 1)Hypnotherapist Sophie Burch opens up about the intense struggles she faced after the births of her first two sons. These included a traumatic delivery with shoulder dystocia, and the challenges of colic and silent reflux. With little support, she reached a breaking point where she nearly harmed her baby in a moment of despair. Her deeply personal and courageous story highlights the urgent need for emotional support and better preparation for new mothers. Sophie found healing through helping others, and has dedicated her life to supporting maternal mental health with tools like the Beyond Birth Guide.

* Trigger Warning: Birth Trauma, Resuscitation and Neonatal Intensive Care (N I C U)*

In This Episode We Discuss:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[01:36] Introduction to Nurture You's Sophie Burch.

[03:28] A difficult pregnancy - antenatal depression and work stress. Polycistic ovarian syndrome (P C O S).

[07:01] A traumatic shoulder dystocia delivery and resuscitation of her baby. No follow-ups or support.

[10:10] Full throes of postnatal depression. Terrified her son would be taken away from her if she admitted how she was feeling.

[14:38] Healing through helping others. C B T (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). Support from her husband and friends.

[19:01] Sophie's second pregnancy - hypnobirthing and a healing home birth.

[21:30] Driven to the edge through her baby's silent reflux - a call for help in a moment of desperation.

[25:35] Healing through talking, journalling, breathwork and nurturing yourself as well as your baby. Developing her 'Beyond Birth' guide.

Key Takeaways:

1.   Shoulder dystocia is a childbirth emergency that happens when a baby's shoulders get stuck behind the mother's pelvic bones, after the head has been delivered. It can make delivery difficult and dangerous for both the baby and the mother. R C O G information on Shoulder Dystocia.

2.    Blue MumDays S1 Ep17: When Birth Leads to Trauma – listen to my conversation with Make Birth Better’s Dr. Rebecca Moore to learn more about birth trauma.

3.   Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is a common hormonal disorder affecting people with ovaries, often during their reproductive years. It can cause a range of symptoms and impact fertility. N H S information on P C O S.

4.   Colic is frequent, prolonged and intense crying or fussiness in a healthy infant, specifically if they cry more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week for at least 1 week. Colic can be particularly frustrating for parents because the baby's distress occurs for no apparent reason and no amount of consoling seems to bring any relief. N H S advice on colic.

5.   Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors are a common class of antidepressants used for treating depression, anxiety disorders and other mental health conditions. Specifically they increase the levels of serotonin, a ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter in the brain. N H S overview of S S R I anti-depressants.

6.   Hypnobirthing is a childbirth method using relaxation, breathing...]]>Hypnotherapist Sophie Burch opens up about the intense struggles she faced after the births of her first two sons. These included a traumatic delivery with shoulder dystocia, and the challenges of colic and silent reflux. With little support, she reached a breaking point where she nearly harmed her baby in a moment of despair. Her deeply personal and courageous story highlights the urgent need for emotional support and better preparation for new mothers. Sophie found healing through helping others, and has dedicated her life to supporting maternal mental health with tools like the Beyond Birth Guide.

* Trigger Warning: Birth Trauma, Resuscitation and Neonatal Intensive Care (N I C U)*

In This Episode We Discuss:

[00:00] Teaser quote.

[01:36] Introduction to Nurture You's Sophie Burch.

[03:28] A difficult pregnancy - antenatal depression and work stress. Polycistic ovarian syndrome (P C O S).

[07:01] A traumatic shoulder dystocia delivery and resuscitation of her baby. No follow-ups or support.

[10:10] Full throes of postnatal depression. Terrified her son would be taken away from her if she admitted how she was feeling.

[14:38] Healing through helping others. C B T (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). Support from her husband and friends.

[19:01] Sophie's second pregnancy - hypnobirthing and a healing home birth.

[21:30] Driven to the edge through her baby's silent reflux - a call for help in a moment of desperation.

[25:35] Healing through talking, journalling, breathwork and nurturing yourself as well as your baby. Developing her 'Beyond Birth' guide.

Key Takeaways:

1.   Shoulder dystocia is a childbirth emergency that happens when a baby's shoulders get stuck behind the mother's pelvic bones, after the head has been delivered. It can make delivery difficult and dangerous for both the baby and the mother. R C O G information on Shoulder Dystocia.

2.    Blue MumDays S1 Ep17: When Birth Leads to Trauma – listen to my conversation with Make Birth Better’s Dr. Rebecca Moore to learn more about birth trauma.

3.   Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is a common hormonal disorder affecting people with ovaries, often during their reproductive years. It can cause a range of symptoms and impact fertility. N H S information on P C O S.

4.   Colic is frequent, prolonged and intense crying or fussiness in a healthy infant, specifically if they cry more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week for at least 1 week. Colic can be particularly frustrating for parents because the baby's distress occurs for no apparent reason and no amount of consoling seems to bring any relief. N H S advice on colic.

5.   Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors are a common class of antidepressants used for treating depression, anxiety disorders and other mental health conditions. Specifically they increase the levels of serotonin, a ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter in the brain. N H S overview of S S R I anti-depressants.

6.   Hypnobirthing is a childbirth method using relaxation, breathing techniques, visualisation and self-hypnosis to help women feel calm, confident and in control during labour and birth. Tommys guide on hypnobirthing.

7.   Silent reflux (also called laryngopharyngeal reflux, or L P R) occurs when stomach acid or digestive juices flow back up into the throat and voice box without causing the usual symptoms of heartburn or indigestion. NHS advice on reflux and silent reflux.

8.   Blue MumDays Episode 27 - Justin Eade: It's Good To Walk.

9.   Find out more about Sophie Burch’s coaching and hypnotherapy work through her 'Nurture You' website. The ‘Beyond Birth Guide’ is Sophie’s supportive and practical guide for parents and parents to be. It shows you how to reconnect and rediscover yourself, deepen your awareness, feel calm and confident in managing all the tasks and feelings that parenting brings. 

10. Suzy Reading's instagram page. Suzy is a chartered psychologist offering tips on wellbeing and mindfulness.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

Follow us:

Instagram / Twitter / Facebook Group / bluemumdays@gmail.com

Taking A Pause:

Due to some sad family news, Blue MumDays is going on hiatus, so thank you for your patience while I take some time out. In the meantime, please feel free to listen to the many fantastic conversations I've had in the archive.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

You are not alone and will not feel this way forever.

Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

1.    Acacia Family Support Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk. 

2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) Moderated Forum, click here to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900

3.    AIMS for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)

4.    Andys Man Club A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk

5.    Association of Postnatal Illness Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)

6.    Best Beginnings. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents

7.    Birth Trauma Association Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

8.    CALM. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

9.    Cedar House Support Group for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556.

10. Contact - for families with disabled children. Helpline: 0808 808 3555.

11. Dad Matters. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk / 0161 344 0669

12. DadsNet offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

13. Dope Black Dads - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org

14. Family Lives provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222.

15. Family Rights Group. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366.

16. Fathers Mental Health UK is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads.

17. Fatherhood Solutions. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 

18. FiveXMore. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com

19. Gingerbread offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925.

20. The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.

21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain – for support with breastfeeding.

22. LGBT Mummies support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com

23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care.

25. Maternal OCD Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange.

26. Mayah's Legacy support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596.

27. The Motherhood Group are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com

28. Motivational Mums Club offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com

29. Music Football Fatherhood offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

30. Muslim Women’s Network Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk Text: 07415 206 936.

31. National Autistic Society for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.

32. Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

34. PANDAS Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca

36. Petals Baby Loss Charity offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org

37. The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill) Email: jo@samaritans.org

38. Sands Charity offer emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby. 0808 164 3332 /Email: helpline@sands.org.uk

39. SHOUT text support service for anyone struggling to cope. Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained volunteer.

40. Twins Trust. Twinline is a listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. 0800 138 0509 / email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

41. Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth....]]>864a2041-0ee5-4e35-88af-3f1a29cb111cMon, 09 Jun 2025 09:00:00 +010034:08falsefull3413413Vikki StephensonThe One About Breastfeeding: Sally Rickard, Lactation ConsultantThe One About Breastfeeding: Sally Rickard, Lactation ConsultantIn this special episode for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, host Vikki chats with lactation consultant Sally Rickard about the ups and downs of breastfeeding and early motherhood. Sally shares her personal and professional insights on common challenges like tongue-tie, milk supply issues, mastitis and the emotional strain these can bring. With kindness and clarity, Sally offers practical advice on latch, positioning, and mixed feeding, while reassuring parents that it’s okay to ask for help. This episode is a comforting reminder that you're not alone—and that support is always available.

In this Episode:

[00:00] Teaser Quote

[02:04] Meet Sally Rickard, lactation consultant

[03:02] Personal breastfeeding challenges

[04:15] The reality of motherhood expectations

[06:46] Navigating conflicting advice

[07:50] The complexity of breastfeeding

[09:32] Sally's own breastfeeding issues and birth experience

[18:30] Sally’s journey to becoming a lactation consultant

[25:55] Tongue-tie

[30:22] Common issues with latch

[33:24] Supply issues and solutions

[38:19] Mixed feeding: a balanced approach

[43:30] How to tell if you're baby is feeding well

[45:11] Mastitis and blocked ducts

[50:11] Soothing cracked and sore nipples

[52:47] Final thoughts and resources

Key Takeaways:

  1. Find out more about Sally Rickard and her breastfeeding expertise and support in South London through her website, Baby-thrive.com.  
  2. I B C L C stands for International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. It's a globally recognised certification for professionals with specialist knowledge and skills in breastfeeding and lactation management. 
  3. The N C T is the National Childbirth Trust, who offer antenatal classes where you can meet fellow parents in your area and learn more about looking after a baby.
  4. The Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (E P D S) is a widely used screening tool to identify women who may be at risk of postpartum depression. It's a 10-item questionnaire that assesses symptoms like guilt, sleep disturbance, and low energy. 
  5. Listen to 'Double Cancer Didn't Cause Depression, Giving Birth Did' (Blue MumDays S1 Ep1 with postnatal depression counsellor Liz Wise), to learn how a problem bonding with her daughter didn’t cause issues later in life. Liz’s daughter Emma talks beautifully about the close bond she has with her mum and how Liz’s experience of PND actually made her a better mum.
  6. The Lactation Consultants of Great Britain is a registered charity working to improve the health and wellbeing of families through advocacy and expert IBCLC breastfeeding care. A lactation consultant can help you with breastfeeding issues and advice.  
  7. NHS guidance on tongue-tie, a condition where the skin under a baby’s tongue is shorter or tighter than normal, restricting movement.  This can cause feeding difficulties like...]]>In this special episode for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, host Vikki chats with lactation consultant Sally Rickard about the ups and downs of breastfeeding and early motherhood. Sally shares her personal and professional insights on common challenges like tongue-tie, milk supply issues, mastitis and the emotional strain these can bring. With kindness and clarity, Sally offers practical advice on latch, positioning, and mixed feeding, while reassuring parents that it’s okay to ask for help. This episode is a comforting reminder that you're not alone—and that support is always available.

    In this Episode:

    [00:00] Teaser Quote

    [02:04] Meet Sally Rickard, lactation consultant

    [03:02] Personal breastfeeding challenges

    [04:15] The reality of motherhood expectations

    [06:46] Navigating conflicting advice

    [07:50] The complexity of breastfeeding

    [09:32] Sally's own breastfeeding issues and birth experience

    [18:30] Sally’s journey to becoming a lactation consultant

    [25:55] Tongue-tie

    [30:22] Common issues with latch

    [33:24] Supply issues and solutions

    [38:19] Mixed feeding: a balanced approach

    [43:30] How to tell if you're baby is feeding well

    [45:11] Mastitis and blocked ducts

    [50:11] Soothing cracked and sore nipples

    [52:47] Final thoughts and resources

    Key Takeaways:

    1. Find out more about Sally Rickard and her breastfeeding expertise and support in South London through her website, Baby-thrive.com.  
    2. I B C L C stands for International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. It's a globally recognised certification for professionals with specialist knowledge and skills in breastfeeding and lactation management. 
    3. The N C T is the National Childbirth Trust, who offer antenatal classes where you can meet fellow parents in your area and learn more about looking after a baby.
    4. The Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (E P D S) is a widely used screening tool to identify women who may be at risk of postpartum depression. It's a 10-item questionnaire that assesses symptoms like guilt, sleep disturbance, and low energy. 
    5. Listen to 'Double Cancer Didn't Cause Depression, Giving Birth Did' (Blue MumDays S1 Ep1 with postnatal depression counsellor Liz Wise), to learn how a problem bonding with her daughter didn’t cause issues later in life. Liz’s daughter Emma talks beautifully about the close bond she has with her mum and how Liz’s experience of PND actually made her a better mum.
    6. The Lactation Consultants of Great Britain is a registered charity working to improve the health and wellbeing of families through advocacy and expert IBCLC breastfeeding care. A lactation consultant can help you with breastfeeding issues and advice.  
    7. NHS guidance on tongue-tie, a condition where the skin under a baby’s tongue is shorter or tighter than normal, restricting movement.  This can cause feeding difficulties like poor latch, frequent feeding, and slow weight gain, and may lead to nipple pain for breastfeeding parents.  It can usually be treated with a simple procedure.
    8. Colostrum is the first breast milk your body makes. It contains antibodies which protect your baby from infection and helps their immune system to develop. NHS advice on colostrum harvesting here.
    9. Global Health Media’s video Is Your Baby Getting Enough Milk? shows signs to tell when your baby is feeding well. The section on sucking and swallowing is about 2 minutes from the beginning.
    10. Mastitis is a common condition that can affect breastfeeding individuals, causing breast inflammation and flu-like symptoms. It usually occurs on one breast, where a swollen area may feel hot and painful to touch. The area may become red but this can be harder to see if you have black or brown skin. This is often caused by problems with positioning and attachment.
    11. NHS advice on breastfeeding positioning and attachment
    12. Mother & Baby Magazine review of silver nipple cups. They can soothe and heal sore, cracked nipples caused by breastfeeding issues. Their natural antibacterial properties promote healing, reduce inflammation and protect against infection. The cups help maintain moisture and provide a gentle shield, allowing the skin to recover while still enabling breastfeeding.
    13. La Leche League offers friendly breastfeeding support from pregnancy onwards. 
    14. Listen to my episode with Sarah Edge on 'Breastfeeding Trauma and Grief' (S3 Ep35 Blue MumDays) if you are struggling with breastfeeding. Know that you aren’t alone.
    15. The National Breastfeeding Helpline offers friendly, non-judgemental, independent breastfeeding support 24/7 within the UK. Call 0300 100 0212. Support is also available in Welsh, Polish, Bengali & Sylheti and for people who have hearing or speech impairments.
    16. Further independent advice and tips on breastfeeding can be found with the Breastfeeding Network.
    17. The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers is a group of trained volunteers dedicated to supporting breastfeeding mums and their families.

    Follow us:

    Instagram / Twitter / Facebook Group / bluemumdays@gmail.com

    Taking A Pause:

    Due to some sad family news, Blue MumDays is going on hiatus, so thank you for your patience while I take some time out. In the meantime, please feel free to listen to the many fantastic conversations I've had in the archive.

    If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

    You are not alone and will not feel this way forever.

    Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

    1.    Acacia Family Support Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk. 

    2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) Moderated Forum, click here to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900

    3.    AIMS for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)

    4.    Andys Man Club A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk

    5.    Association of Postnatal Illness Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)

    6.    Best Beginnings. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents

    7.    Birth Trauma Association Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

    8.    CALM. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

    9.    Cedar House Support Group for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556.

    10. Contact - for families with disabled children. Helpline: 0808 808 3555.

    11. Dad Matters. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk / 0161 344 0669

    12. DadsNet offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

    13. Dope Black Dads - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org

    14. Family Lives provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222.

    15. Family Rights Group. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366.

    16. Fathers Mental Health UK is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads.

    17. Fatherhood Solutions. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 

    18. FiveXMore. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com

    19. Gingerbread offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925.

    20. The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.

    21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain – for support with breastfeeding.

    22. LGBT Mummies support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com

    23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

    24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care.

    25. Maternal OCD Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange.

    26. Mayah's Legacy support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596.

    27. The Motherhood Group are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com

    28. Motivational Mums Club offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com

    29. Music Football Fatherhood offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

    30. Muslim Women’s Network Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk Text: 07415 206 936.

    31. National Autistic Society for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.

    32. Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

    33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

    34. PANDAS Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

    35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca

    36. Petals Baby Loss Charity offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org

    37. The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill) Email: jo@samaritans.org

    38. Sands...]]>91ed5c8a-0508-4bd4-a785-7a0026d2a39aMon, 05 May 2025 10:00:00 +010059:33falsefull3403403Vikki StephensonFinding Hope After Baby Loss - Frontline Midwife to Mother: Anna Kent (Part 2)Finding Hope After Baby Loss - Frontline Midwife to Mother: Anna Kent (Part 2)In this second part of Frontline Midwife Anna Kent's story, Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, from an early miscarriage to the tragic loss of her baby daughter Fatima at only 6 months gestation, due to a rare brain condition. Anna discusses the impact this had on her mental health and grief, as well as the transformative experience of having her second daughter, Aisha. Anna emphasises the importance of creating safe spaces to discuss and honour baby loss. The episode also highlights Anna's memoir, 'Frontline Midwife,' and the legacy of her late midwife friend, Helen Loewenstein.

    *Trigger Warning* Miscarriage, baby loss, very brief mention of suicide.

    In This Episode:

    [00:00] Teaser quote

    [01:47] Introducing Anna Kent

    [03:25] Anna's personal journey with motherhood

    [04:11] Unexpected pregnancy, distressing miscarriage

    [09:21] Challenges and decisions during Anna's second pregnancy

    [14:03] The birth and devastating loss of Fatima

    [21:38] Coping with grief and moving forward

    [23:37] Pregnant again, with Aisha

    [24:59] The need for empathy and compassion in midwifery

    [26:18] Concentrating on positive birth experiences

    [29:16] Aisha's birth story

    [31:15] Balancing grief and love, honouring Fatima's memory

    [33:42] How to help a grieving parent

    [40:14] The impact of writing the 'Frontline Midwife'

    [45:19] Current life and reflections

    Key Takeaways:

    1. Anna Kent's Instagram page to find out more about Anna and her work.
    2. Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) provide vital medical care and humanitarian assistance to victims of conflict, natural disasters, epidemics or healthcare exclusion in more than 70 countries.
    3. A cerebral teratoma is a rare, malignant, and fast-growing tumour that originates in the brain and is made up of multiple tissues.
    4. Zephyrs Charity in Nottingham supports families following pregnancy loss or the death of a baby or child.  They run a number of therapeutic support sessions for bereaved parents in the Nottingham area.
    5. The Helen Loewenstein Memorial Trust was set up to honour Anna’s midwife friend Helen.   We make grants to cover course-fees and essential study expenses for student midwives in Liberia who would not otherwise have sufficient funds to become qualified midwives.
    6. Listen to “It’s Not The End: Recovery After Baby Loss’ with the wonderful Keji Moses of Mayah’s Legacy.
    7. Click this link to find out more about Keji's charity, Mayah's Legacy
    8. NHS on Miscarriage information.
    9. The Miscarriage Association is a UK charity providing further support for those experiencing baby loss.
    10. Tommys is the largest charity in the UK carrying out...]]>In this second part of Frontline Midwife Anna Kent's story, Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, from an early miscarriage to the tragic loss of her baby daughter Fatima at only 6 months gestation, due to a rare brain condition. Anna discusses the impact this had on her mental health and grief, as well as the transformative experience of having her second daughter, Aisha. Anna emphasises the importance of creating safe spaces to discuss and honour baby loss. The episode also highlights Anna's memoir, 'Frontline Midwife,' and the legacy of her late midwife friend, Helen Loewenstein.

      *Trigger Warning* Miscarriage, baby loss, very brief mention of suicide.

      In This Episode:

      [00:00] Teaser quote

      [01:47] Introducing Anna Kent

      [03:25] Anna's personal journey with motherhood

      [04:11] Unexpected pregnancy, distressing miscarriage

      [09:21] Challenges and decisions during Anna's second pregnancy

      [14:03] The birth and devastating loss of Fatima

      [21:38] Coping with grief and moving forward

      [23:37] Pregnant again, with Aisha

      [24:59] The need for empathy and compassion in midwifery

      [26:18] Concentrating on positive birth experiences

      [29:16] Aisha's birth story

      [31:15] Balancing grief and love, honouring Fatima's memory

      [33:42] How to help a grieving parent

      [40:14] The impact of writing the 'Frontline Midwife'

      [45:19] Current life and reflections

      Key Takeaways:

      1. Anna Kent's Instagram page to find out more about Anna and her work.
      2. Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) provide vital medical care and humanitarian assistance to victims of conflict, natural disasters, epidemics or healthcare exclusion in more than 70 countries.
      3. A cerebral teratoma is a rare, malignant, and fast-growing tumour that originates in the brain and is made up of multiple tissues.
      4. Zephyrs Charity in Nottingham supports families following pregnancy loss or the death of a baby or child.  They run a number of therapeutic support sessions for bereaved parents in the Nottingham area.
      5. The Helen Loewenstein Memorial Trust was set up to honour Anna’s midwife friend Helen.   We make grants to cover course-fees and essential study expenses for student midwives in Liberia who would not otherwise have sufficient funds to become qualified midwives.
      6. Listen to “It’s Not The End: Recovery After Baby Loss’ with the wonderful Keji Moses of Mayah’s Legacy.
      7. Click this link to find out more about Keji's charity, Mayah's Legacy
      8. NHS on Miscarriage information.
      9. The Miscarriage Association is a UK charity providing further support for those experiencing baby loss.
      10. Tommys is the largest charity in the UK carrying out research into the causes of miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth. 
      11. Sands Baby Loss Charity is a UK charity providing information and support for those who've experienced pregnancy loss. 
      12. Petals Charity provide a free counselling service to support women, men and couples through the devastation of baby loss.
      13. The Lullaby Trust offer confidential bereavement support to anyone affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or young child.
      14. Bliss Charity page on bereavement support with links.
      15. Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a child dies or when a child is bereaved.
      16. Anna's book, 'Frontline Midwife: Finding Hope in Love, Death and Birth' is available from Bloomsbury and other good bookshops. It has just been released in paperback.

      Follow us:

      Instagram / Twitter / Facebook Group / bluemumdays@gmail.com

      Taking A Pause:

      Due to some sad family news, Blue MumDays is going on hiatus, so thank you for your patience while I take some time out. In the meantime, please feel free to listen to the many fantastic conversations I've had in the archive.

      If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

      You are not alone and will not feel this way forever.

      Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

      1.    Acacia Family Support Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk. 

      2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) Moderated Forum, click here to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900

      3.    AIMS for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)

      4.    Andys Man Club A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk

      5.    Association of Postnatal Illness Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)

      6.    Best Beginnings. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents

      7.    Birth Trauma Association Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

      8.    CALM. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

      9.    Cedar House Support Group for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556.

      10. Contact - for families with disabled children. Helpline: 0808 808 3555.

      11. Dad Matters. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk / 0161 344 0669

      12. DadsNet offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

      13. Dope Black Dads - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org

      14. Family Lives provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222.

      15. Family Rights Group. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366.

      16. Fathers Mental Health UK is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads.

      17. Fatherhood Solutions. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 

      18. FiveXMore. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com

      19. Gingerbread offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925.

      20. The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.

      21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain – for support with breastfeeding.

      22. LGBT Mummies support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com

      23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

      24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care.

      25. Maternal OCD Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange.

      26. Mayah's Legacy support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596.

      27. The Motherhood Group are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com

      28. Motivational Mums Club offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com

      29. Music Football Fatherhood offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

      30. Muslim Women’s Network Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk Text: 07415 206 936.

      31. National Autistic Society for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.

      32. Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

      33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

      34. PANDAS Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

      35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca

      36. Petals Baby Loss Charity offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org

      37. The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill) Email: jo@samaritans.org

      38. Sands Charity offer emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby. 0808 164 3332 /Email: helpline@sands.org.uk

      39. SHOUT text support service for anyone struggling to cope. Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained volunteer.

      40. Twins Trust. Twinline is a listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. 0800 138 0509 / email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

      41. Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth. midwife@tommys.org.

      42. The Unlikely Mummy offers community support for mums and families, including local walking groups, counselling, lactation support and a forest school. Email kavita@theunlikelymummy.co.uk. 

      Blue MumDays Theme Music by 4ccbd42a-a087-4b70-8283-efb4f09820e1Mon, 06 Jan 2025 07:30:00 +010049:08falsefull3393393Vikki StephensonA Story of Conflict and Care - The Frontline Midwife: Anna Kent (Part 1)A Story of Conflict and Care - The Frontline Midwife: Anna Kent (Part 1)In this powerful Christmas episode, Anna Kent - a humanitarian aid worker, NHS nurse and midwife - reflects on her experiences working in some of the world's most challenging environments, including South Sudan, Haiti and Bangladesh. She offers an intimate look at the difficulties of providing maternity care in conflict zones and refugee camps, shedding light on the trauma faced by women in these regions.

      Anna speaks candidly about her personal journey, the emotional toll of working in these high-stress situations and her mission to ensure all women have access to gold-standard maternity care. She opens up about her struggles with PTSD and the challenges of reintegrating into normal life after such intense work.

      This episode is a moving testament to Anna's resilience, compassion and dedication to advocating for women's health rights in the direst circumstances. An inspiring and sobering reminder of the ongoing fight for equitable maternity care worldwide.

      *Trigger Warning* Birthing in extreme situations, birth trauma, maternal loss, baby loss and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

      In This Episode:

      [00:00] Teaser quote.

      [02:20] Introducing Anna Kent, the 'Frontline Midwife'.

      [04:46] Anna's journey to humanitarian work.

      [08:35] Her first mission - the challenges and realities of working in South Sudan.

      [11:11] Honouring the Lady on the Plane. The importance of telling women's stories.

      [17:12] James: Anna's larger-than-life colleague.

      [20:10] Life and work in Tam, South Sudan.

      [25:54] Everyone deserves gold access to maternity care.

      [30:33] Encounter with a black mamba!

      [31:26] Life in a tent: a different perspective.

      [32:53] The struggle of returning home.

      [33:13] The harsh realities of humanitarian work - trauma and being scared to share.

      [34:44] Hitting rock bottom.

      [36:55] Missions to Haiti and Bangladesh - responsible for 30,000 Rohingya refugees.

      [38:51] Feelings of powerlessness.

      [39:44] The impact of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Flashbacks.

      [42:43] Seeking help - finding solace in Buddhism and therapy.

      [48:51] The pressure to save every life. Moral injury.

      [54:42] Parenting and self-awareness.

      1. Key Takeaways:
      2. Anna Kent's Instagram page to find out more about Anna and her work.
      3. Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) provide vital medical care and humanitarian assistance to victims of conflict, natural disasters, epidemics or healthcare exclusion in more than 70 countries.
      4. What To Expect article on Cephalopelvic Disproportion (C.P.D.), a condition where the baby's head or body is too large to fit through the mother's pelvis.
      5. Blue MumDays Episode 17 'When Birth Leads to Trauma', with Dr. Rebecca Moore of Make Birth Better.
      6. MIND Charity information on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (P.T.S.D.), a mental health problem you may develop after experiencing traumatic...]]>In this powerful Christmas episode, Anna Kent - a humanitarian aid worker, NHS nurse and midwife - reflects on her experiences working in some of the world's most challenging environments, including South Sudan, Haiti and Bangladesh. She offers an intimate look at the difficulties of providing maternity care in conflict zones and refugee camps, shedding light on the trauma faced by women in these regions.

        Anna speaks candidly about her personal journey, the emotional toll of working in these high-stress situations and her mission to ensure all women have access to gold-standard maternity care. She opens up about her struggles with PTSD and the challenges of reintegrating into normal life after such intense work.

        This episode is a moving testament to Anna's resilience, compassion and dedication to advocating for women's health rights in the direst circumstances. An inspiring and sobering reminder of the ongoing fight for equitable maternity care worldwide.

        *Trigger Warning* Birthing in extreme situations, birth trauma, maternal loss, baby loss and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

        In This Episode:

        [00:00] Teaser quote.

        [02:20] Introducing Anna Kent, the 'Frontline Midwife'.

        [04:46] Anna's journey to humanitarian work.

        [08:35] Her first mission - the challenges and realities of working in South Sudan.

        [11:11] Honouring the Lady on the Plane. The importance of telling women's stories.

        [17:12] James: Anna's larger-than-life colleague.

        [20:10] Life and work in Tam, South Sudan.

        [25:54] Everyone deserves gold access to maternity care.

        [30:33] Encounter with a black mamba!

        [31:26] Life in a tent: a different perspective.

        [32:53] The struggle of returning home.

        [33:13] The harsh realities of humanitarian work - trauma and being scared to share.

        [34:44] Hitting rock bottom.

        [36:55] Missions to Haiti and Bangladesh - responsible for 30,000 Rohingya refugees.

        [38:51] Feelings of powerlessness.

        [39:44] The impact of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Flashbacks.

        [42:43] Seeking help - finding solace in Buddhism and therapy.

        [48:51] The pressure to save every life. Moral injury.

        [54:42] Parenting and self-awareness.

        1. Key Takeaways:
        2. Anna Kent's Instagram page to find out more about Anna and her work.
        3. Medecins Sans Frontieres (MSF) provide vital medical care and humanitarian assistance to victims of conflict, natural disasters, epidemics or healthcare exclusion in more than 70 countries.
        4. What To Expect article on Cephalopelvic Disproportion (C.P.D.), a condition where the baby's head or body is too large to fit through the mother's pelvis.
        5. Blue MumDays Episode 17 'When Birth Leads to Trauma', with Dr. Rebecca Moore of Make Birth Better.
        6. MIND Charity information on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (P.T.S.D.), a mental health problem you may develop after experiencing traumatic events.
        7. Anna's book, 'Frontline Midwife: Finding Hope in Love, Death and Birth' is available from Bloomsbury and other good bookshops. It has just been released in paperback.
        8. National Centre of PTSD definition of Moral Injury, a psychological harm that occurs when someone's values or beliefs are violated or betrayed, or when they witness or fail to prevent such an act.

        Follow us:

        Instagram / Twitter / Facebook Group / bluemumdays@gmail.com

        Next Episode:

        I continue my conversation with the incredible 'Frontline Midwife' Anna Kent. Having left humanitarian work, Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, including the heartbreaking loss of her first baby Fatima and the birth of her second daughter Aisha.

        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

        You are not alone and will not feel this way forever.

        Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

        1.    Acacia Family Support Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk. 

        2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) Moderated Forum, click here to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900

        3.    AIMS for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)

        4.    Andys Man Club A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk

        5.    Association of Postnatal Illness Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)

        6.    Best Beginnings. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents

        7.    Birth Trauma Association Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

        8.    CALM. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

        9.    Cedar House Support Group for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556.

        10. Contact - for families with disabled children. Helpline: 0808 808 3555.

        11. Dad Matters. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk / 0161 344 0669

        12. DadsNet offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

        13. Dope Black Dads - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org

        14. Family Lives provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222.

        15. Family Rights Group. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366.

        16. Fathers Mental Health UK is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads.

        17. Fatherhood Solutions. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 

        18. FiveXMore. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com

        19. Gingerbread offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925.

        20. The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.

        21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain – for support with breastfeeding.

        22. LGBT Mummies support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com

        23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

        24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care.

        25. Maternal OCD Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange.

        26. Mayah's Legacy support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596.

        27. The Motherhood Group are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com

        28. Motivational Mums Club offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com

        29. Music Football Fatherhood offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

        30. Muslim Women’s Network Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk Text: 07415 206 936.

        31. National Autistic Society for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.

        32. Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

        33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

        34. PANDAS Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

        35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca

        36. Petals Baby Loss Charity offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org

        37. The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill) Email: jo@samaritans.org

        38. Sands Charity offer emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby. 0808 164 3332 /Email: helpline@sands.org.uk

        39. SHOUT text support service for anyone struggling to cope. Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained volunteer.

        40. Twins Trust. Twinline is a listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. 0800 138 0509 / email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

        41. Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth. midwife@tommys.org.

        42. The Unlikely Mummy offers community support for mums and families, including local walking groups, counselling, lactation support and a forest school. Email kavita@theunlikelymummy.co.uk. 

        Blue MumDays Theme Music by Joseph McDade.




        ]]>        1abdb486-1649-4886-a900-c231736214c2Mon, 02 Dec 2024 08:30:00 +010057:38falsefull3383383Vikki Stephenson"My culture has no real word for mental health". The Unlikely Mummy: Kavita Trevena"My culture has no real word for mental health". The Unlikely Mummy: Kavita TrevenaKavita Trevena, founder of The Unlikely Mummy, shares her profoundly personal motherhood journey, including gestational diabetes, postnatal depression and being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after two stressful births. Kavita also talks about a lack of openness around mental health issues in her culture, and a general lack of support for South Asian mums within maternal care services.

        Kavita discusses her community-driven initiatives such as The Unlikely Mummy blog, counselling services, exercise therapies, and wellness activities designed to support mothers.

        Far from being a heavy listen, Kavita was a joy to speak to and our positive conversation underlines a message of hope, resilience, and the importance of creating supportive networks for mothers.

        *Trigger Warning* Postnatal Depression, Birth Trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

        In This Episode:

        [00:00] Teaser quote.

        [02:01] Introducing Kavita Trevena: founder of 'The Unlikely Mummy'.

        [04:30] From being told she couldn't have children to a honeymoon baby - Kavita's journey through pregnancy.

        [06:34] Discovery and challenges of Gestational Diabetes.

        [13:16] The birth experience - an emergency caesarean.

        [20:44] Postpartum struggles and support.

        [23:16] Creating 'The Unlikely Mummy' community.

        [28:34] Being diagnosed with PND (Postnatal Depression).

        [31:04] The need for more support for mums. Growing the Unlikely Mummy to provide community support and specialist services.

        [34:22] Running for the cause: The Big Half Marathon, raising funds for a Forest School, counselling and lactation consultant sessions.

        [36:37] Starting a walking club for mums.

        [40:14] Kavita's second pregnancy: psoriasis and setting up support in advance.

        [43:10] Diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for her first birth.

        [47:19] Cultural barriers and lack of support for South Asian mums.

        [55:23] The Unlikely Mummy: future plans and support.

        [01:01:45] Final thoughts and encouragement.

        Key Takeaways:

        1. The Unlikely Mummy's Insta page. 
        2. Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal condition that affects women of reproductive age and is a leading cause of infertility. NHS information on Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It’s believed 1 in 10 women may suffer from PCOS.
        3. UK Government information on Gestational Diabetes, a type of diabetes that occurs only during pregnancy. Gestational diabetes can cause health problems in both mother and baby. Support is available from Gestational Diabetes UK.
        4. Dr. Hannah Short is a doctor who specialises in menopause and premenstrual disorders. Dr. Hannah Short's website. Listen to Hannah's episode:  Blue MumDays S2 Ep31: 'The one About Hormones: POI, PMDD, Endometriosis + PME.
        5. Postnatal depression is depression that happens after you've had a baby. It can range from mild to severe and is more common than you think. Up to 1 in 7 mums are affected and up to 1 in 10 dads. Kavita Trevena, founder of The Unlikely Mummy, shares her profoundly personal motherhood journey, including gestational diabetes, postnatal depression and being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after two stressful births. Kavita also talks about a lack of openness around mental health issues in her culture, and a general lack of support for South Asian mums within maternal care services.

          Kavita discusses her community-driven initiatives such as The Unlikely Mummy blog, counselling services, exercise therapies, and wellness activities designed to support mothers.

          Far from being a heavy listen, Kavita was a joy to speak to and our positive conversation underlines a message of hope, resilience, and the importance of creating supportive networks for mothers.

          *Trigger Warning* Postnatal Depression, Birth Trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

          In This Episode:

          [00:00] Teaser quote.

          [02:01] Introducing Kavita Trevena: founder of 'The Unlikely Mummy'.

          [04:30] From being told she couldn't have children to a honeymoon baby - Kavita's journey through pregnancy.

          [06:34] Discovery and challenges of Gestational Diabetes.

          [13:16] The birth experience - an emergency caesarean.

          [20:44] Postpartum struggles and support.

          [23:16] Creating 'The Unlikely Mummy' community.

          [28:34] Being diagnosed with PND (Postnatal Depression).

          [31:04] The need for more support for mums. Growing the Unlikely Mummy to provide community support and specialist services.

          [34:22] Running for the cause: The Big Half Marathon, raising funds for a Forest School, counselling and lactation consultant sessions.

          [36:37] Starting a walking club for mums.

          [40:14] Kavita's second pregnancy: psoriasis and setting up support in advance.

          [43:10] Diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for her first birth.

          [47:19] Cultural barriers and lack of support for South Asian mums.

          [55:23] The Unlikely Mummy: future plans and support.

          [01:01:45] Final thoughts and encouragement.

          Key Takeaways:

          1. The Unlikely Mummy's Insta page. 
          2. Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal condition that affects women of reproductive age and is a leading cause of infertility. NHS information on Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It’s believed 1 in 10 women may suffer from PCOS.
          3. UK Government information on Gestational Diabetes, a type of diabetes that occurs only during pregnancy. Gestational diabetes can cause health problems in both mother and baby. Support is available from Gestational Diabetes UK.
          4. Dr. Hannah Short is a doctor who specialises in menopause and premenstrual disorders. Dr. Hannah Short's website. Listen to Hannah's episode:  Blue MumDays S2 Ep31: 'The one About Hormones: POI, PMDD, Endometriosis + PME.
          5. Postnatal depression is depression that happens after you've had a baby. It can range from mild to severe and is more common than you think. Up to 1 in 7 mums are affected and up to 1 in 10 dads. NHS information on Postnatal Depression. More information can be found here, Royal College of Psychiatrists page on PND.
          6. CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) is the name for the NHS services that assess and treat young people with emotional, behavioural or mental health difficulties. Find CAMHS support near you (UK only).
          7. Find out more about the Big Half Marathon, a 13.1 mile course weaves through London from Tower Bridge to the iconic Cutty Sark in Greenwich.  Donate to Kavita's Go Fund Me here.
          8. NHS information on psoriasis, an immune-mediated inflammatory skin condition that can be both physically and psychologically distressing. Support and information from the Psoriasis Association, a UK charity.
          9. Mind's guide on postnatal PTSD. Blue MumDays S1 Ep17: When Birth Leads to Trauma – listen to my conversation with Make Birth Better’s Dr. Rebecca Moore to learn more about birth trauma.
          10. In the UK, postnatal depression is more common in British South Asian women than white women. Cultural stigma can also contribute to Asian mums not seeking help. The ROSHNI-2 Study is evaluating the clinical and cost-effectiveness of a CBT(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) based positive health programme group intervention in British South Asian women with postnatal depression.
          11. Mindfulness is a technique that involves being fully aware of the present moment without judgment. Kavita's Mindfulness session for Maternal Mental Health Week.
          12. Eve Canavan BEM is an award-winning lived experience survivor of postpartum psychosis. She works tirelessly to support mums and families and is the co-founder and National Co-Ordinator of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.  Blue MumDays S1 Ep 19: 'Frightened of My Baby' - Eve Canavan.
          13. For donating to The Unlikely Mummy: Account name: THE UNLIKELY MUMMY C / Sort Code: 51-70-14 / Account Number: 78918855.

          Follow us:

          Instagram / Twitter / Facebook Group / bluemumdays@gmail.com

          Next Episode:

          Next time I talk to the incredible 'Frontline Midwife' Anna Kent. Anna has delivered babies in war zones, caring for the most vulnerable women in the most vulnerable places in the world, including responsibility for the female health of 30,000 Rohingya refugees in Bangladesh. Anna talks movingly about her own experience of motherhood, including the loss of her first baby Fatima. One of my very favourite conversations, I can't wait for you to hear it!

          If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

          You are not alone and will not feel this way forever.

          Links to Support: (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

          1.    Acacia Family Support Pre and postnatal depression support for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic mums and dads.  0121 301 5990, help@acacia.org.uk. 

          2.    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP) Moderated Forum, click here to find out more. Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900

          3.    AIMS for better birthing. helpline@aims.org.uk. This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)

          4.    Andys Man Club A non-judgmental talking group for men. info@andysmanclub.co.uk

          5.    Association of Postnatal Illness Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)

          6.    Best Beginnings. Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents

          7.    Birth Trauma Association Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

          8.    CALM. National helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

          9.    Cedar House Support Group for mums with postnatal depression. Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556.

          10. Contact - for families with disabled children. Helpline: 0808 808 3555.

          11. Dad Matters. Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting. kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk / 0161 344 0669

          12. DadsNet offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

          13. Dope Black Dads - A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org

          14. Family Lives provides immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222.

          15. Family Rights Group. Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366.

          16. Fathers Mental Health UK is a UK-based community interest company dedicated to enhancing the mental health of fathers and their families, especially during the perinatal period. Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads.

          17. Fatherhood Solutions. Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 

          18. FiveXMore. A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com

          19. Gingerbread offer help and advice on the issues that matter to single parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925.

          20. The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.

          21. Lactation Consultants of Great Britain – for support with breastfeeding.

          22. LGBT Mummies support LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood. Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com

          23. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support) Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

          24. The Maternal Mental Health Alliance is a UK charity and network of 130 organisations, dedicated to ensuring women and families affected by perinatal mental health problems have access to high-quality, compassionate care.

          25. Maternal OCD Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange.

          26. Mayah's Legacy support and empower anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596.

          27. The Motherhood Group are dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com

          28. Motivational Mums Club offer trauma, mindfulness and meditation sessions for mothers and mums-to-be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com

          29. Music Football Fatherhood offer open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts. hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

          30. Muslim Women’s Network Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk Text: 07415 206 936.

          31. National Autistic Society for support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.

          32. Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

          33. NHS Services for Mental Health Issues Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helplineIf you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

          34. PANDAS Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401 info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

          35. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario offer pre-natal, pregnancy and postpartum support and connection in Canada. info@perinatalwellbeing.ca

          36. Petals Baby Loss Charity offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068 counselling@petalscharity.org

          37. 43131d35-1b67-446a-8e85-59e6f134dd9aMon, 04 Nov 2024 08:30:00 +010001:04:14falsefull3373373Vikki StephensonExtreme Sickness, Intrusive Thoughts - Hyperemesis, Hallucinations and Healing: Sarah Edge (Part 2)Extreme Sickness, Intrusive Thoughts - Hyperemesis, Hallucinations and Healing: Sarah Edge (Part 2)In the follow-up to Episode 35 (Part 1), perinatal psychotherapist Sarah Edge shares her contrasting experience with her second pregnancy. Her debilitating experience with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG or extreme sickness) took a significant toll on Sarah’s mental health. Sarah developed postnatal depression and terrible anxiety after the birth, leading to intrusive thoughts and hallucinations. The experience was terrifying. Now recovered, Sarah talks about how she has used it to inform her own therapeutic practice.     She provides practical advice for others suffering from similar conditions and highlights the importance of seeking help early.

          *Trigger Warning* Extreme vomiting, feelings of suicide.

          In This Episode We Discuss:

          [00:00] Teaser quote

          [01:53]  Introduction to Sarah

          [03:49]  Understanding Hyperemesis Gravidarum (H.G.)

          [06:25]  How H.G. contributed to Sarah’s difficulty bonding with her daughter

          [08:09]  Getting support and medication – the importance of being taken seriously

          [12:46]  Advice for mums experiencing sickness in pregnancy. How Pregnancy Sickness Support helped Sarah

          [16:00]  Much needed support from Sarah’s husband and her work

          [19:58] Her second birth – no immediate ‘rush of love’

          [22:39] Feeling ‘high’ then a crushing low – severe anxiety, intrusive thoughts and hallucinations

          [29:30] A desperate visit to Accident and Emergency (A+E)

          [35:47]  Starting medication

          [38:13] Building a bond with her daughter

          [42:52] Turning personal struggles into a professional passion – the importance of shared experiences

          [50:10] Matrescence

          Key Takeaways:

          1.    Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) is a severe form of pregnancy sickness, affecting around 1-3% of pregnancies and causing incredibly debilitating symptoms.

          2.    A 2020 study by Imperial College, London found that “women with HG are around 8 times more likely to suffer antenatal depression and 4 times more likely to have postnatal depression”.

          3. For help with HG, go to Pregnancy Sickness Support. They are a charity dedicated to alleviating the suffering of all those affected by pregnancy sickness. They offer peer support and a helpline, 0800 055 4361.

          4.    The HER Foundation is another great organisation, dedicated to helping those suffering hyperemesis and those who have survived it. Providing education, research, support and advocacy globally, to improve the management of HG.

          5.    Listen to Episode 18 with Dr. Andy Mayers ‘Bonding, Guilt and Pyschosis: An Expert View’, to learn more about mother and baby units.

          6.    You can learn more about Sarah’s therapeutic process through her Instagram page, MaternalMentalHealthWellbeing.

          7.    Sarah has a Maternal Mental Health Journal, which can be purchased through In the follow-up to Episode 35 (Part 1), perinatal psychotherapist Sarah Edge shares her contrasting experience with her second pregnancy. Her debilitating experience with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG or extreme sickness) took a significant toll on Sarah’s mental health. Sarah developed postnatal depression and terrible anxiety after the birth, leading to intrusive thoughts and hallucinations. The experience was terrifying. Now recovered, Sarah talks about how she has used it to inform her own therapeutic practice.     She provides practical advice for others suffering from similar conditions and highlights the importance of seeking help early.

          *Trigger Warning* Extreme vomiting, feelings of suicide.

          In This Episode We Discuss:

          [00:00] Teaser quote

          [01:53]  Introduction to Sarah

          [03:49]  Understanding Hyperemesis Gravidarum (H.G.)

          [06:25]  How H.G. contributed to Sarah’s difficulty bonding with her daughter

          [08:09]  Getting support and medication – the importance of being taken seriously

          [12:46]  Advice for mums experiencing sickness in pregnancy. How Pregnancy Sickness Support helped Sarah

          [16:00]  Much needed support from Sarah’s husband and her work

          [19:58] Her second birth – no immediate ‘rush of love’

          [22:39] Feeling ‘high’ then a crushing low – severe anxiety, intrusive thoughts and hallucinations

          [29:30] A desperate visit to Accident and Emergency (A+E)

          [35:47]  Starting medication

          [38:13] Building a bond with her daughter

          [42:52] Turning personal struggles into a professional passion – the importance of shared experiences

          [50:10] Matrescence

          Key Takeaways:

          1.    Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) is a severe form of pregnancy sickness, affecting around 1-3% of pregnancies and causing incredibly debilitating symptoms.

          2.    A 2020 study by Imperial College, London found that “women with HG are around 8 times more likely to suffer antenatal depression and 4 times more likely to have postnatal depression”.

          3. For help with HG, go to Pregnancy Sickness Support. They are a charity dedicated to alleviating the suffering of all those affected by pregnancy sickness. They offer peer support and a helpline, 0800 055 4361.

          4.    The HER Foundation is another great organisation, dedicated to helping those suffering hyperemesis and those who have survived it. Providing education, research, support and advocacy globally, to improve the management of HG.

          5.    Listen to Episode 18 with Dr. Andy Mayers ‘Bonding, Guilt and Pyschosis: An Expert View’, to learn more about mother and baby units.

          6.    You can learn more about Sarah’s therapeutic process through her Instagram page, MaternalMentalHealthWellbeing.

          7.    Sarah has a Maternal Mental Health Journal, which can be purchased through Amazon.co.uk. It’s a guide designed to support mental health during pregnancy and in the postnatal period.

          8.    Matrescence is “the process of becoming a mother. Those physical, psychological and emotional changes you go through after the birth of your child.” (Cambridge Dictionary)

          If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

          Follow us:

          Instagram

          Twitter

          Join our Facebook Group

          Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

          Next Episode:

          Next time I speak to Kavita Trevena, founder of ‘The Unlikely Mummy’, a non-profit organisation and community supporting parents and families. Kavita talks movingly about her own experience of postnatal depression and post-traumatic stress disorder following the births of her two children, and how she has used this experience to help others.

          You are not alone and will not feel this way forever.

          We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

          Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

          Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

          Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900

          AIMS for better birthing.

          Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

          This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)

          Andy's Man Club

          A non-judgemental talking group for men

          https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/ info@andysmanclub.co.uk

          Association of Postnatal Illness

          Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)

          Best Beginnings

          Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents


          Birth Trauma Association

          Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


          CALM

          Contact CALM on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


          Cedar House Support Group

          Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556

           

          Contact: for families with disabled children

          Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



          Contact a Family

          www.cafamily.org.uk

          Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

          Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


          Dad Matters

          Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

          kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

          0161 344 0669


          DadsNet 

          Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


          Dope Black Dads

          A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org


          Family Lives

          An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222 / www.familylives.org.uk


          Family Rights Group

          Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366 / www.frg.org.uk

           

          Link for information on Fathers Reaching Out

          Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads.


          Link to Fatherhood Solutions


          Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 

           

          FiveXMore

          A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


          Gingerbread

          Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925 / www.gingerbread.org.uk


          The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.


          Link for the Lactation Consultants of Great Britain – for support with breastfeeding.


          LGBT Mummies

          Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

          Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


          Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

          Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


          Maternal OCD

          Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange


          Mayah's Legacy

          Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596


          The Motherhood Group

          Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com


          Motivational Mums Club

          Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


          Music Football Fatherhood - hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

          Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.


          Muslim Women’s Network

          Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

          Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk / Text: 07415 206 936


          National Autistic Society www.autism.org.uk

          Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


          Netmums

          Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

           

          NHS Services for Mental Health Issues

          Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team

          or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

          If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

           

          PANDAS

          Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

          Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


          Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

          PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

          info@perinatalwellbeing.ca


          Petals Baby Loss Charity - click for information

          Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068

          Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/ Email: counselling@petalscharity.org


          Click for information on The Samaritans

          Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

          Web: www.samaritans.org / Email: jo@samaritans.org


          Sands Charity information link

          Emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby.

          0808 164 3332 /Email: helpline@sands.org.uk


          Shout

          Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

           

          Twins Trust

          Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

          0800 138 0509 / email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

          Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

           

          Tommy’s

          Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

          Web: www.tommys.org

          Email: midwife@tommys.org

           

          MUSIC by Joseph McDade




          ]]>          f263ef3b-cc04-4577-9066-afa0a975b475Mon, 07 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +010054:27falsefull3363363Vikki StephensonBreastfeeding Trauma and Grief: Sarah Edge (Part 1)Breastfeeding Trauma and Grief: Sarah Edge (Part 1)To launch Blue MumDays Season 3, host Vikki welcomes Sarah Edge, a perinatal specialist psychotherapist. In the first part of their discussion, Sarah shares her deeply personal and emotional journey through pregnancy, childbirth, and the complex challenges of infant feeding. She discusses her experiences with breastfeeding trauma and grief and the stark contrast between her expectations and the reality of motherhood. Sarah offers heartfelt advice to parents struggling with similar issues, emphasising the importance of compassion and seeking support. The episode also explores societal pressures and the impact of invalidation on mental health.

          *Trigger Warning: *birth trauma, neonatal intensive care, breastfeeding trauma, feelings of suicide and baby loss.

          In This Episode We Discuss:

          [00:00] Teaser quote

          [04:40] Not enjoying the pregnancy/not being what she’d expected or planned/sickness.

          [08:27] Sensitivity and being self-conscious during pregnancy about how she looked

          [08:04] Pregnancy isn’t an illness but it can be a hard slog on the body and mind. Expectations vs. reality.

          [15:24] The birth – labour at 36 weeks. Family history of this. Primal urge to birth on her own.

          [23:33] The ‘rush of love’ – actually quite rare.

          [24:30] The birth took a turn – vomiting and post-partum haemorrhage.

          [25:57] First attempts at breastfeeding, when things got really difficult.

          [30:41] Feeling nervous about being sent home from hospital and the fear of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)

          [32:43] Severe jaundice - A+E and panic attack. The ramping up of anxiety. Jack in an incubator.

          [37:05] Turning a corner, starting formula feeding.

          [39:15] The toll of triple feeding and sleep deprivation on Sarah’s mental health. Start of suicidal thoughts. Rock bottom.

          [43:17] Understanding breast feeding trauma.

          [48:56] Finding out what works best for you and your family.

          [49:50] Writing about her experience – the importance of sharing our struggles.

          [52:09] Invalidation and trauma.

          [56:37] Breastfeeding grief and how you won’t lose that precious bond.

          [01:01:49] Sarah’s experience second time around, with her daughter.

          [01:05:32] Compassion is the antidote to trauma.

          Key Takeaways:

          1.   Click this link for more information on Sarah Edge and her Maternal Mental Health services

          2.   Information here on The Fed is Best Foundation, which supports all families to safely feed their babies whether they feed with breast, bottle, or both (combination feeding).

          3.   Read Sarah’s article on Infant Feeding Trauma here on the Fed is Best website.

          4.   Adjustment disorder is a mental health condition that occurs when someone has an unhealthy or excessive reaction to a stressful event or life change. Symptoms can include stress, sadness or hopelessness, negative thoughts and changes in behaviour.

          5.   For information and support on hyperemesis gravidarum (HG is extreme sickness during pregnancy), click this link for Pregnancy Sickness Support. They are the only UK registered charity dedicated to offering support and evidence-based information to those affected]]>To launch Blue MumDays Season 3, host Vikki welcomes Sarah Edge, a perinatal specialist psychotherapist. In the first part of their discussion, Sarah shares her deeply personal and emotional journey through pregnancy, childbirth, and the complex challenges of infant feeding. She discusses her experiences with breastfeeding trauma and grief and the stark contrast between her expectations and the reality of motherhood. Sarah offers heartfelt advice to parents struggling with similar issues, emphasising the importance of compassion and seeking support. The episode also explores societal pressures and the impact of invalidation on mental health.

          *Trigger Warning: *birth trauma, neonatal intensive care, breastfeeding trauma, feelings of suicide and baby loss.

          In This Episode We Discuss:

          [00:00] Teaser quote

          [04:40] Not enjoying the pregnancy/not being what she’d expected or planned/sickness.

          [08:27] Sensitivity and being self-conscious during pregnancy about how she looked

          [08:04] Pregnancy isn’t an illness but it can be a hard slog on the body and mind. Expectations vs. reality.

          [15:24] The birth – labour at 36 weeks. Family history of this. Primal urge to birth on her own.

          [23:33] The ‘rush of love’ – actually quite rare.

          [24:30] The birth took a turn – vomiting and post-partum haemorrhage.

          [25:57] First attempts at breastfeeding, when things got really difficult.

          [30:41] Feeling nervous about being sent home from hospital and the fear of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)

          [32:43] Severe jaundice - A+E and panic attack. The ramping up of anxiety. Jack in an incubator.

          [37:05] Turning a corner, starting formula feeding.

          [39:15] The toll of triple feeding and sleep deprivation on Sarah’s mental health. Start of suicidal thoughts. Rock bottom.

          [43:17] Understanding breast feeding trauma.

          [48:56] Finding out what works best for you and your family.

          [49:50] Writing about her experience – the importance of sharing our struggles.

          [52:09] Invalidation and trauma.

          [56:37] Breastfeeding grief and how you won’t lose that precious bond.

          [01:01:49] Sarah’s experience second time around, with her daughter.

          [01:05:32] Compassion is the antidote to trauma.

          Key Takeaways:

          1.   Click this link for more information on Sarah Edge and her Maternal Mental Health services

          2.   Information here on The Fed is Best Foundation, which supports all families to safely feed their babies whether they feed with breast, bottle, or both (combination feeding).

          3.   Read Sarah’s article on Infant Feeding Trauma here on the Fed is Best website.

          4.   Adjustment disorder is a mental health condition that occurs when someone has an unhealthy or excessive reaction to a stressful event or life change. Symptoms can include stress, sadness or hopelessness, negative thoughts and changes in behaviour.

          5.   For information and support on hyperemesis gravidarum (HG is extreme sickness during pregnancy), click this link for Pregnancy Sickness Support. They are the only UK registered charity dedicated to offering support and evidence-based information to those affected by pregnancy sickness. They helped Sarah during her experience of HG.

          6.   NICU means a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, which is a hospital unit providing specialised care for newborn babies who are sick or premature. 

          7.   Phototherapy is a special light treatment sometimes used to treat newborn jaundice. It aims to expose the baby’s skin to as much light as possible, making it easier for the baby’s liver to break down and remove bilirubin from their blood.

          8.   Triple feeding is a short-term breastfeeding method involving breastfeeding, pumping and bottle-feeding. The aim is to increase natural milk production whilst ensuring the baby is getting enough to eat.

          9.   SIDS stands for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Read NHS information on SIDS here.

          10. Listen to 'When Birth Leads to Trauma' with Dr. Becca Moore of Make Birth Better here

          11. Listen now to Dr Orinayo Onabanjo's episode on 'Mum Guilt, Trauma and Systemic Inequality'

          12. Self compassion is so important when recovering from trauma. Listen to 'Self Compassion with Poonam Dhuffer' via this link

          13. For anyone seeking support on baby loss, we hope the following links are helpful: Click this link for the Sands Charity, information on Petals, the baby loss counselling charity and click for information on Mayah's Legacy, the charity to support those who have lost a baby.

          14. This link leads you to the Lactation Consultants of Great Britain website. A lactation consultant can help you with breastfeeding issues and advice. Sally Rickard of Baby Thrive will be featured in an upcoming episode to discuss breastfeeding.

          If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review, share it and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

          Follow us:

          Instagram

          Twitter

          Join our Facebook Group

          Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

          Next Episode:

          In the second part of this interview, Sarah Edge talks to host Vikki about her struggle with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG, or extreme sickness during pregnancy) and her battle with postnatal depression, following the birth of her daughter. (Released Monday 7th October 2024).

          YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

          We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

          Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

          Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

          Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900


          AIMS for better birthing.

          Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

          This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)


          Andy's Man Club

          A non-judgemental talking group for men

          https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/ info@andysmanclub.co.uk


          Association of Postnatal Illness

          Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)


          Best Beginnings

          Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents


          Birth Trauma Association

          Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


          CALM

          Contact CALM on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


          Cedar House Support Group

          Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556

           

          Contact: for families with disabled children

          Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



          Contact a Family

          www.cafamily.org.uk

          Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

          Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


          Dad Matters

          Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

          kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

          0161 344 0669


          DadsNet 

          Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


          Dope Black Dads

          A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org


          Family Lives

          An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222 / www.familylives.org.uk


          Family Rights Group

          Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366 / www.frg.org.uk

           

          Link for information on Fathers Reaching Out

          Run by paternal mental health pioneer Mark Williams, offering support to dads.


          Link to Fatherhood Solutions


          Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 

           

          FiveXMore

          A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


          Gingerbread

          Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925 / www.gingerbread.org.uk


          The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.


          Link for the Lactation Consultants of Great Britain – for support with breastfeeding.


          LGBT Mummies

          Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

          Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


          Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

          Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


          Maternal OCD

          Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange


          Mayah's Legacy

          Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves. Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596


          The Motherhood Group

          Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com


          Motivational Mums Club

          Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


          Music Football Fatherhood - hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

          Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.


          Muslim Women’s Network

          Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

          Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk / Text: 07415 206 936


          National Autistic Society www.autism.org.uk

          Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


          Netmums

          Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

           

          NHS Services for Mental Health Issues

          Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team

          or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

          If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

           

          PANDAS

          Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

          Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


          Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

          PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

          info@perinatalwellbeing.ca


          Petals Baby Loss Charity - click for information

          Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068

          Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/ Email: counselling@petalscharity.org


          Click for information on The Samaritans

          Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

          Web: www.samaritans.org / Email: jo@samaritans.org


          daef3960-886b-4803-a2cd-6c019e021525Mon, 02 Sep 2024 08:15:00 +010001:08:17falsefull3353353Vikki StephensonBlue MumDays Season 3 TeaserBlue MumDays Season 3 TeaserSeason 3 of Blue MumDays is here, the parental mental health podcast smashing stigma and normalising the conversation on perinatal illness. Upcoming episodes include discussion on infant feeding trauma, breastfeeding advice, pre-eclampsia, baby loss, birthing during Covid, neonatal intensive care, coping with multiple miscarriage, postnatal depression in fathers and midwifery in a war zone. New episodes are released the first Monday of each month.

          *TRIGGER WARNING: *Discussion of baby loss and trauma*

          If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review, share and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

          Follow us:

          Instagram

          Twitter

          Join our Facebook Group

          Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

           

          ]]>          Season 3 of Blue MumDays is here, the parental mental health podcast smashing stigma and normalising the conversation on perinatal illness. Upcoming episodes include discussion on infant feeding trauma, breastfeeding advice, pre-eclampsia, baby loss, birthing during Covid, neonatal intensive care, coping with multiple miscarriage, postnatal depression in fathers and midwifery in a war zone. New episodes are released the first Monday of each month.

          *TRIGGER WARNING: *Discussion of baby loss and trauma*

          If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review, share and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

          Follow us:

          Instagram

          Twitter

          Join our Facebook Group

          Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

           

          ]]>          a8f4b9cb-7b59-4744-82f5-3f1816221db8Mon, 02 Sep 2024 08:15:00 +010002:35falsetrailer333Vikki Stephenson          Perinatal Rage + O.C.D: LAURA BISBEYPerinatal Rage + O.C.D: LAURA BISBEYIn this 'Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week' special, I speak to Laura Bisbey, who was diagnosed with perinatal distress and anxiety during her pregnancy. This sadly continued following the birth of her daughter. Laura tells me about her feelings of rage during the pregnancy, and - once her daughter had been born - her struggles with bonding and the onset of O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder). It's a tremendously brave conversation and I am so grateful to Laura for sharing her story with us.

          *TRIGGER WARNING: *Brief mention of feelings of suicide*

          IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

          [00:00] Teaser quote.

          [02:28] Introduction to Laura.

          [02:53] Increased anxiety and guilt about not enjoying pregnancy.

          [07:15] Perinatal rage - completely out of character for Laura.

          [10:02] How breaking her arm exacerbated negative feelings during pregnancy.

          [12:05] Enforced rest = over-thinking. Feeling she wasn't needed at work. Letting the mask slip.

          [14:06] Laura's husband couldn't relate, but was very supportive.

          [15:37] Advice for people listening - "explain how you are feeling".

          [16:51] The importance of Laura's work and how hard the abrupt ending was for her.

          [19:11] Unrealistic expectations of how easy motherhood would be. Trying to be 'perfect'.

          [23:34] Charlotte's birth - a quick labour but no 'rush of love'. Bonding took a year.

          [28:37] C.B.T. (Cognitive Behavioural Therapist) and O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Trying to stay 'in control'.

          [31:24] *Waves of sadness and not wanting to be here anymore*.

          [33:44] Starting to build a relationship with Charlotte through play.

          [36:30] How Laura's O.C.D. manifested - fears around contamination, choking and vomit.

          [43:28] How this O.C.D. tested Laura's relationship.

          [44:45] Trying to cope when Charlotte was sick.

          [47:33] Getting help with the O.C.D. and keeping 'checking' under control.

          [49:26] How C.B.T. offered Laura solutions and strategies.

          [51:14] Recovery isn't linear.

          [52:02] How returning to work was integral to Laura's recovery.

          [53:37] Finally being hit by that much longed for 'rush of love'.

          [56:54] Telling people at work.

          [01:03:09] Advice for people currently struggling.

          KEY TAKEAWAYS:

          1. Follow this link for N.H.S. information about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (C.B.T.)
          2. You can find more information about postnatal rage here – from the Centre of Perinatal Excellence (Australia).
          3. Perinatal O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is one of the most misunderstood perinatal mental health problems. Click here for advice and support from the Maternal O.C.D. charity, set up by 2 mums with lived experience and O.C.D. Action, the UK's largest O.C.D. charity.
          4. Difficulty with baby bonding affects a third of UK mums. Read more about it here in this N.C.T. (National Childbirth Trust) article.
          5. Find out more about the 'Circle of Security' model of attachment here
          6. In this 'Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week' special, I speak to Laura Bisbey, who was diagnosed with perinatal distress and anxiety during her pregnancy. This sadly continued following the birth of her daughter. Laura tells me about her feelings of rage during the pregnancy, and - once her daughter had been born - her struggles with bonding and the onset of O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder). It's a tremendously brave conversation and I am so grateful to Laura for sharing her story with us.

            *TRIGGER WARNING: *Brief mention of feelings of suicide*

            IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

            [00:00] Teaser quote.

            [02:28] Introduction to Laura.

            [02:53] Increased anxiety and guilt about not enjoying pregnancy.

            [07:15] Perinatal rage - completely out of character for Laura.

            [10:02] How breaking her arm exacerbated negative feelings during pregnancy.

            [12:05] Enforced rest = over-thinking. Feeling she wasn't needed at work. Letting the mask slip.

            [14:06] Laura's husband couldn't relate, but was very supportive.

            [15:37] Advice for people listening - "explain how you are feeling".

            [16:51] The importance of Laura's work and how hard the abrupt ending was for her.

            [19:11] Unrealistic expectations of how easy motherhood would be. Trying to be 'perfect'.

            [23:34] Charlotte's birth - a quick labour but no 'rush of love'. Bonding took a year.

            [28:37] C.B.T. (Cognitive Behavioural Therapist) and O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Trying to stay 'in control'.

            [31:24] *Waves of sadness and not wanting to be here anymore*.

            [33:44] Starting to build a relationship with Charlotte through play.

            [36:30] How Laura's O.C.D. manifested - fears around contamination, choking and vomit.

            [43:28] How this O.C.D. tested Laura's relationship.

            [44:45] Trying to cope when Charlotte was sick.

            [47:33] Getting help with the O.C.D. and keeping 'checking' under control.

            [49:26] How C.B.T. offered Laura solutions and strategies.

            [51:14] Recovery isn't linear.

            [52:02] How returning to work was integral to Laura's recovery.

            [53:37] Finally being hit by that much longed for 'rush of love'.

            [56:54] Telling people at work.

            [01:03:09] Advice for people currently struggling.

            KEY TAKEAWAYS:

            1. Follow this link for N.H.S. information about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (C.B.T.)
            2. You can find more information about postnatal rage here – from the Centre of Perinatal Excellence (Australia).
            3. Perinatal O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is one of the most misunderstood perinatal mental health problems. Click here for advice and support from the Maternal O.C.D. charity, set up by 2 mums with lived experience and O.C.D. Action, the UK's largest O.C.D. charity.
            4. Difficulty with baby bonding affects a third of UK mums. Read more about it here in this N.C.T. (National Childbirth Trust) article.
            5. Find out more about the 'Circle of Security' model of attachment here
            6. Click to hear Liz Wise's journey with PND in Series 1 Episode 1 – Liz’s first daughter Emma comes on at the end to tell us how close their relationship is now, despite Liz struggling to bond with her at first.
            7. This 'Loving Kindness Meditation' will help you relax, reset and recharge. It’s only 15 minutes long and you don’t have to meditate - just close your eyes and listen. There’s no pressure to do anything, but it might just help you to relax and still any anxious over-thinking for a while. (Thank you to Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8 for creating this specially for Blue MumDays.)

            If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

            Follow us:

            Instagram / Twitter / Join our Facebook Group / Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

             

            NEXT EPISODE:

            Next time I speak to Sarah Edge, who is a perinatal specialist psychotherapist working in South Manchester, with a special interest in supporting women with infant feeding guilt and trauma. Sarah is also the author of the Maternal Mental Health Manual. We discuss her own battles with anxiety, breastfeeding, hyperemisis gravidum and postnatal depression, following the birth of her two children.


            SUPPORT:

            *FOR SUPPORT SPECIFIC TO THIS EPISODE, PLEASE SEE THE KEY TAKEAWAYS*

            If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

            YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

            We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).


            Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

            Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

            Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900


            The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

            Call us - 0151 541 9020 / Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


            AIMS for better birthing.

            Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

            This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)


            Andy's Man Club

            A non-judgemental talking group for men

            https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/ info@andysmanclub.co.uk


            Association of Postnatal Illness

            Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)


            Best Beginnings

            Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents


            Birth Trauma Association

            Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


            CALM

            Contact CALM on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


            Cedar House Support Group

            Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556


            Contact: for families with disabled children

            Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



            Contact a Family

            www.cafamily.org.uk

            Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

            Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


            CLAPA – Cleft Lip and Palate Association

            www.clapa.com - Information and support on cleft lip and palate treatment.


            Dad Matters

            Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

            kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

            0161 344 0669


            DadsNet 

            Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


            Dope Black Dads

            A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org


            Family Lives

            An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222 / www.familylives.org.uk


            Family Rights Group

            Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366 /  www.frg.org.uk

             

            Fathers Reaching Out

            https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/ run by Mark Williams, offering support to dads.


            FiveXMore

            A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


            Gingerbread

            Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925 /  www.gingerbread.org.uk


            The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.


            LGBT Mummies

            Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

            Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


            Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

            Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


            Maternal OCD

            Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange


            Mayah's Legacy

            Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596


            The Motherhood Group

            Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com


            Motivational Mums Club

            Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


            Music Football Fatherhood - hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

            Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.


            Muslim Women’s Network

            Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

            Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk / Text: 07415 206 936


            National Autistic Society www.autism.org.uk

            Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


            Netmums

            Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

             

            NHS Services for Mental Health Issues

            Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111 and press 2 for Mental Health Team

            or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

            If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

             

            PANDAS

            Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

            Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


            Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

            PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

            info@perinatalwellbeing.ca


            Petals

            Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068

            Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

            Email: counselling@petalscharity.org


            PMH Support

            Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 


            Samaritans

            Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

            Web: www.samaritans.org

            Email: jo@samaritans.org


            Sands Charity

            Emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby.

            0808 164 3332 /Email: helpline@sands.org.uk

            Shout

            Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

             

            Twins Trust

            Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

            0800 138 0509 / email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

            Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

             

            c4bd06dd-101e-44c9-8b09-fbc1fbc94edcMon, 01 May 2023 10:25:00 +010001:02:09falsefull2342342Vikki StephensonMy Kids' Birth Unlocked My Childhood Trauma: NICK RAEBURNMy Kids' Birth Unlocked My Childhood Trauma: NICK RAEBURNI chat to Nick Raeburn, aka 'That Social Nerd'. Nick came to my attention in a very brave and raw LinkedIn post, where he talked about the huge flood of emotion he experienced in becoming a dad. Prior to having children, Nick had never cried - a result of the awful abuse he suffered as a child. This is a very emotional and deeply profound conversation; I don't think I've cried as much - or laughed as much - during an interview!

            *TRIGGER WARNING: *Brief (but not graphic) early mention of Child Abuse, discussion of Trauma*

            IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

            [00:00] Teaser quote.

            [02:46] Introduction to Nick.

            [03:42] How the birth of his daughter was the catalyst to unlocking his emotions.

            [04:41] How Nick was helped through therapy and E.M.D.R. (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing).

            [05:28] Lack of support during his childhood. Catharsis from expressing how he feels on social media.

            [07:02] How the pandemic has affected attitudes to life and mental health.

            [08:12] How Nick had buried the painful experiences of his childhood.

            [09:28] Approaching fatherhood. The differences in the birth of his first and second child.

            [12:46] Meeting his daughter for the first time. The importance of emotional intelligence.

            [16:06] The unrelenting horror of sleep deprivation!

            [21:54] The early days of having his newborn daughter at home.

            [23:29] Feelings of anger, resulting from Nick's adverse childhood experiences.

            [27:50] Owning his story and reclaiming his power.

            [29:20] Fatherhood and masculinity. Discovering 'A Band of Brothers'. Mentorship.

            [35:27] Recovery, including the E.M.D.R. therapy and mentoring other young men.

            [43:00] How Nick has changed from the man his wife originally married.

            [45:21] The importance of fathers engaging with their children - the 'First 1001 Days'.

            [48:10] Nick's hopes for his son, going forward.

            [50:06] Advice for those who have experienced abuse, but have never talked about it.

            KEY TAKEAWAYS:

            1. Click here for more information on E.M.D.R., known as Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing.
            2. Link to Rosey's website, 'PND and Me', founder of the #PND hour on Twitter.
            3. Listen to the Blue MumDays episode 'When Birth Leads to Trauma' with Dr Rebecca Moore. Find out more about charity 'Make Birth Better' here, Rebecca’s organisation for supporting parents and healthcare professionals suffering from birth trauma or vicarious trauma.
            4. Read more on the book 'The Body Keeps The Score' by Bessel Van Der Kolk, “mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma”.
            5. This 'Loving Kindness Meditation' will help you relax, reset and recharge. It’s only 15 minutes long and you don’t have to meditate - just close your eyes and listen. There’s no pressure to do anything, but it might just help you to relax. (Thank you to Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8 for creating this specially for Blue MumDays.)
            6. Learn more about award-winning...]]>I chat to Nick Raeburn, aka 'That Social Nerd'. Nick came to my attention in a very brave and raw LinkedIn post, where he talked about the huge flood of emotion he experienced in becoming a dad. Prior to having children, Nick had never cried - a result of the awful abuse he suffered as a child. This is a very emotional and deeply profound conversation; I don't think I've cried as much - or laughed as much - during an interview!

              *TRIGGER WARNING: *Brief (but not graphic) early mention of Child Abuse, discussion of Trauma*

              IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

              [00:00] Teaser quote.

              [02:46] Introduction to Nick.

              [03:42] How the birth of his daughter was the catalyst to unlocking his emotions.

              [04:41] How Nick was helped through therapy and E.M.D.R. (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing).

              [05:28] Lack of support during his childhood. Catharsis from expressing how he feels on social media.

              [07:02] How the pandemic has affected attitudes to life and mental health.

              [08:12] How Nick had buried the painful experiences of his childhood.

              [09:28] Approaching fatherhood. The differences in the birth of his first and second child.

              [12:46] Meeting his daughter for the first time. The importance of emotional intelligence.

              [16:06] The unrelenting horror of sleep deprivation!

              [21:54] The early days of having his newborn daughter at home.

              [23:29] Feelings of anger, resulting from Nick's adverse childhood experiences.

              [27:50] Owning his story and reclaiming his power.

              [29:20] Fatherhood and masculinity. Discovering 'A Band of Brothers'. Mentorship.

              [35:27] Recovery, including the E.M.D.R. therapy and mentoring other young men.

              [43:00] How Nick has changed from the man his wife originally married.

              [45:21] The importance of fathers engaging with their children - the 'First 1001 Days'.

              [48:10] Nick's hopes for his son, going forward.

              [50:06] Advice for those who have experienced abuse, but have never talked about it.

              KEY TAKEAWAYS:

              1. Click here for more information on E.M.D.R., known as Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing.
              2. Link to Rosey's website, 'PND and Me', founder of the #PND hour on Twitter.
              3. Listen to the Blue MumDays episode 'When Birth Leads to Trauma' with Dr Rebecca Moore. Find out more about charity 'Make Birth Better' here, Rebecca’s organisation for supporting parents and healthcare professionals suffering from birth trauma or vicarious trauma.
              4. Read more on the book 'The Body Keeps The Score' by Bessel Van Der Kolk, “mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma”.
              5. This 'Loving Kindness Meditation' will help you relax, reset and recharge. It’s only 15 minutes long and you don’t have to meditate - just close your eyes and listen. There’s no pressure to do anything, but it might just help you to relax. (Thank you to Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8 for creating this specially for Blue MumDays.)
              6. Learn more about award-winning charity 'A Band of Brothers' by clicking on the link. They helped Nick enormously and now he mentors others through it. Its aim is to help young men grow and develop, improving their lives and that of the communities they live in.
              7. Further support for fathers can be found here: Fathers Reaching Out, Music Football Fatherhood, PMH Support, Dope Black Dads and Dad Matters.
              8. LISTEN: Blue MumDays S1 Ep 3 Elliott Rae on PTSD in Fathers.
              9. LISTEN: Blue MumDays S1 Ep 8 The Daddy Blues with Mark Williams and S1 Ep 9 Mark Williams part 2 on PND in Fathers.
              10. LISTEN: Blue MumDays S1 Ep 18 Dr Andrew Mayers discusses PND in dads.
              11. Learn more about the 'First 1001 Days' campaign by clicking this link. The Parent Infant Foundation state that “the first 1001 days include pregnancy and the first two years of a child’s life. There is clear, compelling evidence that this is a significant and influential phase in development.”
              12. Click here for NHS guidance on P.T.S.D. (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). There are some good support networks listed there too.
              13. PTSD UK are a UK charity dedicated to raising awareness of post-traumatic stress disorder, no matter the trauma that caused it.

              If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

              Follow us:

              Instagram / Twitter / Join our Facebook Group / Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

               

              NEXT EPISODE:

              Next time I speak to Laura Bisbey, who was diagnosed with perinatal distress and anxiety during her pregnancy. This sadly continued following the birth of her daughter. Laura tells me about her feelings of rage during the pregnancy, and - once her daughter had been born - her struggles with bonding and the onset of O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder). It's a tremendously brave conversation and I am so grateful to Laura for sharing her story with us.

              SUPPORT:

              *FOR SUPPORT SPECIFIC TO THIS EPISODE, PLEASE SEE THE KEY TAKEAWAYS*

              If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

              YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

              We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

              Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

              Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

              Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900


              The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

              Call us - 0151 541 9020 / Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


              AIMS for better birthing.

              Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

              This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)


              Andy's Man Club

              A non-judgemental talking group for men

              https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/ info@andysmanclub.co.uk


              Association of Postnatal Illness

              Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)


              Beat Eating Disorders,

              The UK's eating disorder charity.

              0808 801 0677 / Email: help@beateatingdisorders.org.uk


              Best Beginnings

              Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents


              Bi-Polar UK

              email: info@bipolaruk.org


              Birth Trauma Association

              Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


              CALM

              Contact CALM on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


              Cedar House Support Group

              Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556


              Contact: for families with disabled children

              Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



              Contact a Family

              www.cafamily.org.uk

              Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

              Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


              CLAPA – Cleft Lip and Palate Association

              www.clapa.com - Information and support on cleft lip and palate treatment.


              Dad Matters

              Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

              kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

              0161 344 0669


              DadsNet 

              Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


              Dope Black Dads

              A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org


              Family Lives

              An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222 / www.familylives.org.uk


              Family Rights Group

              Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366 /  www.frg.org.uk

               

              Fathers Reaching Out

              https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/ run by Mark Williams, offering support to dads.


              FiveXMore

              A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


              Gingerbread

              Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925 /  www.gingerbread.org.uk


              The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.


              LGBT Mummies

              Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

              Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


              Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

              Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


              Maternal OCD

              Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange


              Mayah's Legacy

              Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596


              The Motherhood Group

              Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com


              Motivational Mums Club

              Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


              Music Football Fatherhood - hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

              Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.


              Muslim Women’s Network

              Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

              Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk / Text: 07415 206 936


              National Autistic Society www.autism.org.uk

              Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


              Netmums

              Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

               

              NHS

              Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111

              or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

              If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

               

              PANDAS

              Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

              Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


              Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

              PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

              info@perinatalwellbeing.ca


              Petals

              Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068

              Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

              Email: counselling@petalscharity.org


              f8785de7-5271-491b-be9a-e7ad20641670Sun, 09 Apr 2023 17:55:00 +010053:42falsefull2332332Vikki StephensonWorld Down Syndrome Day Special: JANNAH AND MUSA'S STORYWorld Down Syndrome Day Special: JANNAH AND MUSA'S STORYFor this Blue MumDays special celebrating Down Syndrome Awareness Day, I'm joined by the beautiful Jannah Hayah. Jannah talks to me about life with her gorgeous son Musa, who is 5. Musa has Down Syndrome, hearing loss and is fed via a feeding tube. Jannah is passionate about wanting the world to know that while a life living with disability can have its challenges, the struggle comes with incredible rewards. It's a wonderfully life-affirming conversation.

              *TRIGGER WARNING: *Birth trauma and a very brief mention of feelings of suicide*

              IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

              [00:00] Teaser quote.

              [02:25] Introduction to Jannah and Musa.

              [04:43] Judgement on Jannah looking well presented - double standard for women.

              [11:08] Life before Musa. Transitioning into a mum with her older children.

              [12:59] Musa's traumatic birth. Receiving the diagnosis of Down Syndrome.

              [19:47] The damage of the words that were used.

              [23:18] The need to take your time to accept and find peace with the diagnosis.

              [26:01] How Musa has shaped Jannah into the woman she is today.

              [27:36] The hugely positive affect Musa has had on his older siblings.

              [31:54] The social model of disability - the need for society to be more accessible and inclusive for all.

              [36:50] How people 'give up' making an effort as soon as they hear Musa is disabled.

              [38:25] How Musa is determined and finds his own way in the world.

              [41:19] Lack of support and information for Jannah at the time of the birth.

              [43:54] Musa's difficulties feeding, due to low muscle tone.

              [47:32] Being dismissed and ignored when asking for help.

              [49:23] Hitting rock bottom. Discovering local group Jolly Josh - an absolute lifeline.

              [53:37] Meeting the dietician - having the feeding tube properly explained to her.

              [55:56] How Jannah's culture and religion perceives people with impairments and conditions.

              [57:43] Musa's legacy - educating the world on inclusion.


              KEY TAKEAWAYS:

              1. Follow Jannah and Musa's Instagram or Twitter Feed for endless positivity and inspiration and to learn more about Musa’s journey.
              2. Jannah is an Ambassador for Making Chromosomes Count, a challenging, thought-provoking and inclusive non-profit magazine exploring the fascinating kaleidoscope that is Down Syndrome.
              3. The Down's Syndrome Association is a national organisation, committed to improving the quality of life of people who have Down’s Syndrome, promoting their right to be included on a full and equal basis with others. 
              4. NHS information on Down's Syndrome – click on this link for more information about the condition, where people are born with an extra chromosome.
              5. Cristina at DiffAbility Charity is the amazing mum who delivers free ‘Welcome to the World’ packs to new parents in hospitals, welcoming and offering support to babies with Down Syndrome. Diff-Ability is a charity creating to create events and opportunities for people with disabilities, learning disabilities, Autism and neurodiverity to engage in with their families and friends.
              6. For this Blue MumDays special celebrating Down Syndrome Awareness Day, I'm joined by the beautiful Jannah Hayah. Jannah talks to me about life with her gorgeous son Musa, who is 5. Musa has Down Syndrome, hearing loss and is fed via a feeding tube. Jannah is passionate about wanting the world to know that while a life living with disability can have its challenges, the struggle comes with incredible rewards. It's a wonderfully life-affirming conversation.

                *TRIGGER WARNING: *Birth trauma and a very brief mention of feelings of suicide*

                IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                [00:00] Teaser quote.

                [02:25] Introduction to Jannah and Musa.

                [04:43] Judgement on Jannah looking well presented - double standard for women.

                [11:08] Life before Musa. Transitioning into a mum with her older children.

                [12:59] Musa's traumatic birth. Receiving the diagnosis of Down Syndrome.

                [19:47] The damage of the words that were used.

                [23:18] The need to take your time to accept and find peace with the diagnosis.

                [26:01] How Musa has shaped Jannah into the woman she is today.

                [27:36] The hugely positive affect Musa has had on his older siblings.

                [31:54] The social model of disability - the need for society to be more accessible and inclusive for all.

                [36:50] How people 'give up' making an effort as soon as they hear Musa is disabled.

                [38:25] How Musa is determined and finds his own way in the world.

                [41:19] Lack of support and information for Jannah at the time of the birth.

                [43:54] Musa's difficulties feeding, due to low muscle tone.

                [47:32] Being dismissed and ignored when asking for help.

                [49:23] Hitting rock bottom. Discovering local group Jolly Josh - an absolute lifeline.

                [53:37] Meeting the dietician - having the feeding tube properly explained to her.

                [55:56] How Jannah's culture and religion perceives people with impairments and conditions.

                [57:43] Musa's legacy - educating the world on inclusion.


                KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                1. Follow Jannah and Musa's Instagram or Twitter Feed for endless positivity and inspiration and to learn more about Musa’s journey.
                2. Jannah is an Ambassador for Making Chromosomes Count, a challenging, thought-provoking and inclusive non-profit magazine exploring the fascinating kaleidoscope that is Down Syndrome.
                3. The Down's Syndrome Association is a national organisation, committed to improving the quality of life of people who have Down’s Syndrome, promoting their right to be included on a full and equal basis with others. 
                4. NHS information on Down's Syndrome – click on this link for more information about the condition, where people are born with an extra chromosome.
                5. Cristina at DiffAbility Charity is the amazing mum who delivers free ‘Welcome to the World’ packs to new parents in hospitals, welcoming and offering support to babies with Down Syndrome. Diff-Ability is a charity creating to create events and opportunities for people with disabilities, learning disabilities, Autism and neurodiverity to engage in with their families and friends.
                6. Shani Dhanda is one of the UK’s highest profile and most influential disability activists. She is an entrepreneur, a broadcaster and multi-award winning inclusion specialist.
                7. Scope charity campaigns for equality for disabled people. With 1 in 5 people living with impairments or conditions, disabled people are NOT a minority.
                8. Follow this link to learn more about the Jolly Josh Charity, the local group in Rochdale which provided a lifeline for Jannah. Jolly Josh provides dedicated peer support and safe spaces for children and young adults, families, and carers of children with profound multiple learning disabilities, complex, and special needs.
                9. Find out more about 'Positive About Down Syndrome' here – a fantastic resource of support and reassuring and inspiring stories showing the reality of life with Down Syndrome.
                10. Click here for information on Contact, who support families with children affected by impairments and conditions. They also influence policy and campaign to tackle the inequalities they face.


                If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                Follow us:

                Instagram / Twitter / Join our Facebook Group / Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                 

                NEXT EPISODE:

                Next time I chat to Nick Raeburn, aka 'That Social Nerd'. Nick came to my attention in a very brave and raw post he posted on LinkedIn where he talked about the huge flood of emotion he experienced in becoming a dad. Prior to having children, Nick had never cried - a result of the abuse he suffered as a child. This is a very emotional and deeply profound conversation.


                SUPPORT:

                If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                *** For support specific to this episode, see Key Takeaways ***

                We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).


                Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                Email: app@app-network.org / Tel: 020 3322 9900


                The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                Call us - 0151 541 9020 / Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                AIMS for better birthing.

                Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible. / Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663 (leave message)


                Andy's Man Club

                A non-judgemental talking group for men

                https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/ info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                Association of Postnatal Illness

                Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868 / Email: info@apni.org (Live chat online facility)


                Beat Eating Disorders,

                The UK's eating disorder charity.

                0808 801 0677 / Email: help@beateatingdisorders.org.uk


                Best Beginnings

                Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering 24/7 App support for new parents


                Bi-Polar UK

                email: info@bipolaruk.org


                Birth Trauma Association

                Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                CALM

                Contact CALM on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


                Cedar House Support Group

                Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise) / Mobile: 07773 283556


                Contact: for families with disabled children

                Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



                Contact a Family

                www.cafamily.org.uk

                Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

                Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


                CLAPA – Cleft Lip and Palate Association

                www.clapa.com - Information and support on cleft lip and palate treatment.


                Dad Matters

                Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

                kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

                0161 344 0669


                DadsNet 

                Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                Dope Black Dads

                A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world. hello@dopeblack.org


                Family Lives

                An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Helpline: 0808 800 2222 / www.familylives.org.uk


                Family Rights Group

                Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services. Helpline: 0808 801 0366 /  www.frg.org.uk

                 

                Fathers Reaching Out

                https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/ run by Mark Williams, offering support to dads.


                FiveXMore

                A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                Gingerbread

                Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents. Helpline 0808 802 0925 /  www.gingerbread.org.uk


                The Hub of Hope - A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                LGBT Mummies

                Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                Maternal OCD

                Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange


                Mayah's Legacy

                Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  Email: info@bigoutreach.org / 0300 102 1596


                The Motherhood Group

                Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy. info@themotherhoodgroup.com


                Motivational Mums Club

                Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother. motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                Music Football Fatherhood - hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com

                Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.


                Muslim Women’s Network

                Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am–4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko and Bengali. Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk / Text: 07415 206 936


                National Autistic Society www.autism.org.uk

                Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


                Netmums

                Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-InClinic.

                 

                NHS

                Contact your local GP surgery. Call the NHS on 111

                or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                 

                PANDAS

                Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

                PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

                info@perinatalwellbeing.ca


                Petals

                Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Tel: 0300 688 0068

                Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                Email: counselling@petalscharity.org


                PMH Support

                Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 


                Samaritans

                Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                Web: www.samaritans.org

                Email: jo@samaritans.org


                Sands Charity

                Emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby.

                0808 164 3332 /Email: helpline@sands.org.uk

                133eaea5-758f-4fdd-ad54-90e254fe2afcTue, 21 Mar 2023 10:35:00 +010059:34falsebonus2322322Vikki StephensonThe One About Hormones - POI, PMDD, Endometoriosis + PME: Dr HANNAH SHORTThe One About Hormones - POI, PMDD, Endometoriosis + PME: Dr HANNAH SHORTMy guest this week is Dr Hannah Short, a GP Specialist in Menopause, P.O.I. (Premature Ovarian Insufficiency) and Premenstrual Disorders. In this fascinating episode, Hannah educates me on P.O.I., P.M.D.D. (Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder), Endometriosis and P.M.E. (Premenstrual Exacerbation). She also talks about her own experience of premature surgical menopause at the age of 35.

                *TRIGGER WARNING: *Very brief mention of some women feeling suicidal feelings*

                IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                [00:00] Teaser quote.

                [02:15 ] Introduction to Dr Hannah Short.

                [03:23] Premature Ovarian Insufficiency (P.O.I.) - early menopause below the age of 40.

                [06:52] Treatments available for P.O.I.

                [07:56] H.R.T. or Hormone Replacement Therapy.

                [11:17] Hannah's interest in this area - personal experience of premature surgical menopause.

                [16:11] The impact of not having children - the way society treats women without children.

                [20:25] The symptoms of premature surgical menopause.

                [22:41] Feeling a sense of loss at missing out on her youth due to illness.

                [26:23] The power of podcasts and talking openly, especially as a G.P. (General Practitioner)

                [27:37] Pre-menstrual disorders - P.M.D.D. (Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder).

                [38:48] Endometriosis - what it is and what help is available.

                [43:22] Feelings of rage.

                [46:33] The effects of calming the autonomic nervous system - exercise, anti-inflammatory diets and meditation.

                [51:05] The lack of recognition for these issues - stigma and taboo.

                [54:05] Advice for women badly affected by hormones - tracking your symptoms.

                [56:01] Pre-Menstrual Exacerbation (P.M.E.)

                [57:33] The importance of psychological support.


                KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                1. Follow this link to access Dr Hannah Short's website – Hannah is a G.P. specialist in Menopause, P.O.I. and Premenstrual Disorders. 
                2. You can order Hannah’s book The Complete Guide to P.O.I. and Early Menopause via this link.
                3. Click this link for NHS information on Early Menopause and P.O.I. (Primary Ovarian Insufficiency). POI is classed as menopause before the age of 40. Latest statistics suggest 3-4% of women across the globe or affected.
                4. You can read NHS information on  HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) here.
                5. Click here to read a patient leaflet on Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (P.M.S.) from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.
                6. P.M.D.D. or Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder is a hormone insensitivity affects around 5-8% of women as well as trans men, anyone who was born with ovaries. You can access Mind information on PMDD by clicking on this link.
                7. International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD) follow this link for a lifeline of support, information and resources for women and AFAB individuals with P.M.D.D. and Pre-Menstrual Exacerbation...]]>My guest this week is Dr Hannah Short, a GP Specialist in Menopause, P.O.I. (Premature Ovarian Insufficiency) and Premenstrual Disorders. In this fascinating episode, Hannah educates me on P.O.I., P.M.D.D. (Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder), Endometriosis and P.M.E. (Premenstrual Exacerbation). She also talks about her own experience of premature surgical menopause at the age of 35.

                  *TRIGGER WARNING: *Very brief mention of some women feeling suicidal feelings*

                  IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                  [00:00] Teaser quote.

                  [02:15 ] Introduction to Dr Hannah Short.

                  [03:23] Premature Ovarian Insufficiency (P.O.I.) - early menopause below the age of 40.

                  [06:52] Treatments available for P.O.I.

                  [07:56] H.R.T. or Hormone Replacement Therapy.

                  [11:17] Hannah's interest in this area - personal experience of premature surgical menopause.

                  [16:11] The impact of not having children - the way society treats women without children.

                  [20:25] The symptoms of premature surgical menopause.

                  [22:41] Feeling a sense of loss at missing out on her youth due to illness.

                  [26:23] The power of podcasts and talking openly, especially as a G.P. (General Practitioner)

                  [27:37] Pre-menstrual disorders - P.M.D.D. (Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder).

                  [38:48] Endometriosis - what it is and what help is available.

                  [43:22] Feelings of rage.

                  [46:33] The effects of calming the autonomic nervous system - exercise, anti-inflammatory diets and meditation.

                  [51:05] The lack of recognition for these issues - stigma and taboo.

                  [54:05] Advice for women badly affected by hormones - tracking your symptoms.

                  [56:01] Pre-Menstrual Exacerbation (P.M.E.)

                  [57:33] The importance of psychological support.


                  KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                  1. Follow this link to access Dr Hannah Short's website – Hannah is a G.P. specialist in Menopause, P.O.I. and Premenstrual Disorders. 
                  2. You can order Hannah’s book The Complete Guide to P.O.I. and Early Menopause via this link.
                  3. Click this link for NHS information on Early Menopause and P.O.I. (Primary Ovarian Insufficiency). POI is classed as menopause before the age of 40. Latest statistics suggest 3-4% of women across the globe or affected.
                  4. You can read NHS information on  HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) here.
                  5. Click here to read a patient leaflet on Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (P.M.S.) from the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.
                  6. P.M.D.D. or Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder is a hormone insensitivity affects around 5-8% of women as well as trans men, anyone who was born with ovaries. You can access Mind information on PMDD by clicking on this link.
                  7. International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD) follow this link for a lifeline of support, information and resources for women and AFAB individuals with P.M.D.D. and Pre-Menstrual Exacerbation (P.M.E.).
                  8. Endometriosis is a condition where cells similar to the lining of the womb are found outside the womb or uterus. It's a condition that affects 1.5 million women in the UK. Support can be found here at Endemetriosis UK.
                  9. Meditation has been found to be very effective in calming the autonomic nervous system. You can access a 15 minute 'Loving Kindness Meditation' from Season 1 of Blue MumDays on the link here, which has been created specially for us by Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8.
                  10. You can access the Primary Care Women's Health Forum on this link.
                  11. PME (Pre Menstrual Exacerbation) occurs when hormone changes during menstruation worsen the experience of a pre-existing disorder – like depressive disorder or generalised anxiety disorder. Click on the link to read a Women's Health article on the subject.
                  12. Click this link to read more about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (C.B.T.)
                  13. NAPS Guidelines on P.M.S. from the National Association for Pre-Menstrual Syndrome.
                  14. NICE guidelines for P.M.S.


                  If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                  Follow us:

                  Instagram

                  Twitter

                  Join our Facebook Group

                  Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                   

                  NEXT EPISODE:

                  For a Blue MumDays special celebrating Down Syndrome Awareness Day, I'm joined by the beautiful Jannah Hayah. Jannah talks to me about life with her gorgeous son Musa, who is 5. Musa has Down Syndrome, hearing loss and is fed via a feeding tube. Jannah is passionate about wanting the world to know that while a life living with disability can have its challenges, the struggle comes with incredible rewards. It's a wonderfully life-affirming conversation.


                  SUPPORT:

                  If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                  YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                  *** For support specific to this episode, see Key Takeaways ***

                  We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).


                  Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                  Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                  Email: app@app-network.org

                  Tel: 020 3322 9900


                  The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                  Call us - 0151 541 9020

                  Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                  AIMS for better birthing.

                  Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                  This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                  Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                  You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                  Andy's Man Club

                  A non-judgemental talking group for men

                  https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                  Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                  Association of Postnatal Illness

                  Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                  Email: info@apni.org

                  Live chat online facility


                  Beat Eating Disorders,

                  The UK's eating disorder charity.

                  Help for England

                  Helpline: 0808 801 0677

                  Email: help@beateatingdisorders.org.uk

                  Help for Scotland

                  Helpline: 0808 801 0432

                  Email: Scotlandhelp@beateatingdisorders.org.uk

                  Help for Wales

                  Helpline: 0808 801 0433

                  Email: Waleshelp@beateatingdisorders.org.uk

                  Help for Northern Ireland

                  Helpline: 0808 801 0434

                  Email: NIhelp@beateatingdisorders.org.uk


                  Best Beginnings

                  Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                  evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                  and early stages of parenting.

                  App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                  24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                  Bi-Polar UK

                  email: info@bipolaruk.org


                  Birth Trauma Association

                  Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                  CALM

                  Contact CALM

                  on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


                  Cedar House Support Group

                  Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                  Mobile: 07773 283556


                  Contact: for families with disabled children

                  Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



                  Contact a Family

                  www.cafamily.org.uk

                  Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

                  Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


                  CLAPA – Cleft Lip and Palate Association

                  www.clapa.com

                  Information and support on cleft lip and palate treatment.


                  Dad Matters

                  Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

                  kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

                  0161 344 0669


                  DadsNet 

                  Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                  Dope Black Dads

                  A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world.

                  hello@dopeblack.org



                  Family Lives

                  An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                  Family Rights Group

                  Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                   

                  Fathers Reaching Out

                  https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                  Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                  FiveXMore

                  A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                  Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                  Gingerbread

                  Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                  The Hub of Hope

                  A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                  LGBT Mummies

                  Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                  Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                  Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                  Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                  Maternal OCD

                  Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange


                  Mayah's Legacy

                  Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                  Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                  0300 102 1596


                  The Motherhood Group

                  Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                  info@themotherhoodgroup.com


                  Motivational Mums Club

                  Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                  motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                  Music Football Fatherhood

                  Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                  hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                  Muslim Women’s Network

                  Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                  4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                  and Bengali.

                  Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                  Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                  Text: 07415 206 936


                  National Autistic Society

                  www.autism.org.uk

                  Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


                  Netmums

                  Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                  Clinic.

                   

                  NHS

                  Contact your local GP surgery.

                  Call the NHS on 111

                  or contact a local NHS urgent mental health...]]>4282a2cb-46fc-4855-bf30-45e580a32c76Thu, 16 Mar 2023 20:25:00 +010001:01:52falsefull2312312Vikki StephensonNavigating Pregnancy With An Eating Disorder: HOPE VIRGONavigating Pregnancy With An Eating Disorder: HOPE VIRGOTo mark 'Eating Disorder Awareness Week', I'm joined by Hope Virgo, who chats to me about navigating pregnancy with an eating disorder.  Hope is an author and multi award winning campaigner. In 2018, Hope launched the #DumpTheScales campaign, which put eating disorders on the Government's agenda. Since then it has gone from strength to strength making change happen on a national scale, including a national march taking place in London on 22nd April 2023.

                  This episode was recorded last spring - since then, I'm happy to report that Hope had a beautiful healthy baby boy, who has been accompanying her on much of her campaigning work. Both he and Hope are doing well.

                  *TRIGGER WARNING: *Disordered Eating and very brief mention of Sexual Abuse*


                  IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                  [00:00] Teaser quote.

                  [02:35 ] Introduction to Hope Virgo.

                  [04:58] Hope's eating disorder - a coping mechanism for childhood trauma.

                  [06:44] The pressure put on women when they are pregnant.

                  [08:51] What prompted Hope's eating disorder.

                  [12:11] What support might be available for Hope after having her baby.

                  [13:01] Breastfeeding pressure.

                  [17:30] The need to be your own advocate.

                  [19:06] Eating disorders affect more people than you think, many of whom suffer in silence.

                  [20:38] Mixed support - the need for education.

                  [21:56] Navigating eating when you're pregnant.

                  [25:00] Societal pressure - the size of your bump, the pressure to 'snap back' after birth, how much and what you are eating.

                  [31:51] The potential affect of eating disorders on fertility - loss of periods.

                  [33:12] Using exercise to numb emotions.

                  [36:32] Hope's campaigning work.

                  [41:23] Advice for anyone affected by disordered eating or exercise addiction.


                  KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                  1. Follow and support Hope's campaigning via her Instagram and Twitter feeds. You can also get in touch with her via LinkedIn.
                  2. It's a myth that eating disorders are about vanity - they are much more complex than that.
                  3. 16% of pregnant women have experienced an eating disorder. 50% of them will relapse within a year of delivery.
                  4. Eating disorders claim more lives than any other mental illness.
                  5. Eating disorders can affect anybody and everybody - you don't have to look like you have an eating disorder to be suffering from one. They don't only affect thin people or white teenage girls.
                  6. You can access support and information through Beat Eating Disorders, the UK's Eating Disorder charity.
                  7. Find out about the Bristol Eating Disorders Health Integration Team here. Click this link to read and download their Eating Disorders Support Resources Guide.
                  8. Click this link to read Abigail Reynolds' guest blog for the Maternal Mental Health Alliance, Eating Disorders and the perinatal period.
                  9. Support and sign Hope's To mark 'Eating Disorder Awareness Week', I'm joined by Hope Virgo, who chats to me about navigating pregnancy with an eating disorder.  Hope is an author and multi award winning campaigner. In 2018, Hope launched the #DumpTheScales campaign, which put eating disorders on the Government's agenda. Since then it has gone from strength to strength making change happen on a national scale, including a national march taking place in London on 22nd April 2023.

                    This episode was recorded last spring - since then, I'm happy to report that Hope had a beautiful healthy baby boy, who has been accompanying her on much of her campaigning work. Both he and Hope are doing well.

                    *TRIGGER WARNING: *Disordered Eating and very brief mention of Sexual Abuse*


                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                    [02:35 ] Introduction to Hope Virgo.

                    [04:58] Hope's eating disorder - a coping mechanism for childhood trauma.

                    [06:44] The pressure put on women when they are pregnant.

                    [08:51] What prompted Hope's eating disorder.

                    [12:11] What support might be available for Hope after having her baby.

                    [13:01] Breastfeeding pressure.

                    [17:30] The need to be your own advocate.

                    [19:06] Eating disorders affect more people than you think, many of whom suffer in silence.

                    [20:38] Mixed support - the need for education.

                    [21:56] Navigating eating when you're pregnant.

                    [25:00] Societal pressure - the size of your bump, the pressure to 'snap back' after birth, how much and what you are eating.

                    [31:51] The potential affect of eating disorders on fertility - loss of periods.

                    [33:12] Using exercise to numb emotions.

                    [36:32] Hope's campaigning work.

                    [41:23] Advice for anyone affected by disordered eating or exercise addiction.


                    KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                    1. Follow and support Hope's campaigning via her Instagram and Twitter feeds. You can also get in touch with her via LinkedIn.
                    2. It's a myth that eating disorders are about vanity - they are much more complex than that.
                    3. 16% of pregnant women have experienced an eating disorder. 50% of them will relapse within a year of delivery.
                    4. Eating disorders claim more lives than any other mental illness.
                    5. Eating disorders can affect anybody and everybody - you don't have to look like you have an eating disorder to be suffering from one. They don't only affect thin people or white teenage girls.
                    6. You can access support and information through Beat Eating Disorders, the UK's Eating Disorder charity.
                    7. Find out about the Bristol Eating Disorders Health Integration Team here. Click this link to read and download their Eating Disorders Support Resources Guide.
                    8. Click this link to read Abigail Reynolds' guest blog for the Maternal Mental Health Alliance, Eating Disorders and the perinatal period.
                    9. Support and sign Hope's Dump The Scales Campaign via this link.
                    10. Read more here about Hope's latest Change The Story Campaign.
                    11. You can Buy Hope's Books including ‘Stand Tall Little Girl: Facing Up To Anorexia’ here.


                    If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                    Follow us:

                    Instagram

                    Twitter

                    Join our Facebook Group

                    Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                     

                    NEXT EPISODE:

                    The One About Hormones - my next guest is Dr Hannah Short, a GP Specialist in Menopause, P.O.I. (Premature Ovarian Insufficiency) and Premenstrual Disorders. In this fascinating episode, Hannah educates me on P.M.D.D. (Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and P.M.E. (Premenstrual Exacerbation). She also talks about her own experience of premature surgical menopause at the age of 35.


                    SUPPORT:

                    If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                    YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                    *** For support specific to this episode, see Key Takeaways ***

                    We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).


                    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                    Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                    Email: app@app-network.org

                    Tel: 020 3322 9900


                    The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                    Call us - 0151 541 9020

                    Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                    AIMS for better birthing.

                    Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                    This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                    Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                    You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                    Andy's Man Club

                    A non-judgemental talking group for men

                    https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                    Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                    Association of Postnatal Illness

                    Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                    Email: info@apni.org

                    Live chat online facility


                    Beat Eating Disorders,

                    The UK's eating disorder charity.

                    Help for England

                    Helpline: 0808 801 0677

                    Email: help@beateatingdisorders.org.uk

                    Help for Scotland

                    Helpline: 0808 801 0432

                    Email: Scotlandhelp@beateatingdisorders.org.uk

                    Help for Wales

                    Helpline: 0808 801 0433

                    Email: Waleshelp@beateatingdisorders.org.uk

                    Help for Northern Ireland

                    Helpline: 0808 801 0434

                    Email: NIhelp@beateatingdisorders.org.uk


                    Best Beginnings

                    Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                    evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                    and early stages of parenting.

                    App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                    24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                    Bi-Polar UK

                    email: info@bipolaruk.org


                    Birth Trauma Association

                    Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                    CALM

                    Contact CALM

                    on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


                    Cedar House Support Group

                    Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                    Mobile: 07773 283556


                    Contact: for families with disabled children

                    Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



                    Contact a Family

                    www.cafamily.org.uk

                    Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

                    Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


                    CLAPA – Cleft Lip and Palate Association

                    www.clapa.com

                    Information and support on cleft lip and palate treatment.


                    Dad Matters

                    Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

                    kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

                    0161 344 0669


                    DadsNet 

                    Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                    Dope Black Dads

                    A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world.

                    hello@dopeblack.org



                    Family Lives

                    An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                    Family Rights Group

                    Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                     

                    Fathers Reaching Out

                    https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                    Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                    FiveXMore

                    A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                    Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                    Gingerbread

                    Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                    The Hub of Hope

                    A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                    LGBT Mummies

                    Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                    Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                    Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                    Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                    Maternal OCD

                    Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange


                    Mayah's Legacy

                    Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                    Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                    0300 102 1596


                    The Motherhood Group

                    Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                    info@themotherhoodgroup.com


                    Motivational Mums Club

                    Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                    motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                    Music Football Fatherhood

                    Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                    hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                    Muslim Women’s Network

                    Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                    4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                    and Bengali.

                    Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                    Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                    Text: 07415 206 936


                    National Autistic Society

                    www.autism.org.uk

                    Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


                    Netmums

                    Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                    Clinic.

                     

                    NHS

                    Contact your local GP surgery.

                    Call the NHS on 111

                    or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                    If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                     

                    PANDAS

                    Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                    Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                    Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

                    PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

                    info@perinatalwellbeing.ca


                    Petals

                    Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                    or baby loss.

                    Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                    Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                    Tel: 0300 688 0068


                    PMH Support

                    Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad,...]]>35e6732b-6359-4b99-ae51-b0e4e66b3375Mon, 27 Feb 2023 00:15:00 +010043:27falsefull2302302Vikki Stephenson"It's Not The End". Recovery after the Devastation of Stillbirth: KEJI MOSES of MAYAH'S LEGACY"It's Not The End". Recovery after the Devastation of Stillbirth: KEJI MOSES of MAYAH'S LEGACYIn a very moving yet inspirational episode, I speak to author, podcaster and professional grief counsellor Keji Moses. Keji talks about her early loss through miscarriage and the devastation of losing her baby girl Mayah, who was stillborn at 35 weeks. She has since made it her mission to shed light on the mental health impacts of pregnancy loss. Through her charity Mayah's Legacy, Keji supports families affected by this very personal tragedy and helps them to advocate for the care they need.

                    *TRIGGER WARNING: *Miscarriage and Baby Loss*

                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                    [02:16 ] Introduction to Keji Moses.

                    [04:35] Having her son, following an earlier miscarriage.

                    [09:12] The impact and loss of her first miscarriage. Lack of support.

                    [14:25] Keji's husband's reaction to the loss.

                    [16:52] Her pregnancy with Mayah - a diagnosis of Edwards' Syndrome.

                    [22:07] Knowing something was wrong. Being told there was no heartbeat.

                    [25:11] Saying goodbye.

                    [29:03] Starting her charity, 'Mayah's Legacy'.

                    [30:25] Equipping families for self advocacy.

                    [32:11] Channelling her pain into her creative offering.

                    [32:58] "It's not the end."

                    [34:13] A lack of support after Mayah's stillbirth.

                    [36:53] The need to put mothers experiencing baby loss on a different ward.

                    [39:20] Cultural attitudes to baby loss and mental health.

                    [42:30] How Keji's children dealt with the loss of Mayah.

                    [44:56] Advice for those who want to help a loved one affected by baby loss.

                    [49:13] The need for advocacy.

                    [54:06] Negative racial stereotyping within the maternal health system.


                    KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                    1. Click this link to find out more about Keji's charity, Mayah's Legacy
                    2. For Keji's empowerment tools for women on their healing journey, click this link to go to the Goddess Hub website.
                    3. Follow this link for NHS on Miscarriage information.
                    4. N.C.T. '8 Things That Can Help After Miscarriage'
                    5. This link takes you to the Blue MumDays episode with my lovely mum, Nina Spilsted - PND in the '70s: My Mum's Story
                    6. Tommys is the largest charity in the UK carrying out research into the causes of miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth. 
                    7. Sands Baby Loss Charity is a UK charity providing information and support for those who've experienced pregnancy loss. 
                    8. The Miscarriage Association is a UK charity providing further support for those experiencing baby loss.
                    9. Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates...]]>In a very moving yet inspirational episode, I speak to author, podcaster and professional grief counsellor Keji Moses. Keji talks about her early loss through miscarriage and the devastation of losing her baby girl Mayah, who was stillborn at 35 weeks. She has since made it her mission to shed light on the mental health impacts of pregnancy loss. Through her charity Mayah's Legacy, Keji supports families affected by this very personal tragedy and helps them to advocate for the care they need.

                      *TRIGGER WARNING: *Miscarriage and Baby Loss*

                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                      [00:00] Teaser quote.

                      [02:16 ] Introduction to Keji Moses.

                      [04:35] Having her son, following an earlier miscarriage.

                      [09:12] The impact and loss of her first miscarriage. Lack of support.

                      [14:25] Keji's husband's reaction to the loss.

                      [16:52] Her pregnancy with Mayah - a diagnosis of Edwards' Syndrome.

                      [22:07] Knowing something was wrong. Being told there was no heartbeat.

                      [25:11] Saying goodbye.

                      [29:03] Starting her charity, 'Mayah's Legacy'.

                      [30:25] Equipping families for self advocacy.

                      [32:11] Channelling her pain into her creative offering.

                      [32:58] "It's not the end."

                      [34:13] A lack of support after Mayah's stillbirth.

                      [36:53] The need to put mothers experiencing baby loss on a different ward.

                      [39:20] Cultural attitudes to baby loss and mental health.

                      [42:30] How Keji's children dealt with the loss of Mayah.

                      [44:56] Advice for those who want to help a loved one affected by baby loss.

                      [49:13] The need for advocacy.

                      [54:06] Negative racial stereotyping within the maternal health system.


                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                      1. Click this link to find out more about Keji's charity, Mayah's Legacy
                      2. For Keji's empowerment tools for women on their healing journey, click this link to go to the Goddess Hub website.
                      3. Follow this link for NHS on Miscarriage information.
                      4. N.C.T. '8 Things That Can Help After Miscarriage'
                      5. This link takes you to the Blue MumDays episode with my lovely mum, Nina Spilsted - PND in the '70s: My Mum's Story
                      6. Tommys is the largest charity in the UK carrying out research into the causes of miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth. 
                      7. Sands Baby Loss Charity is a UK charity providing information and support for those who've experienced pregnancy loss. 
                      8. The Miscarriage Association is a UK charity providing further support for those experiencing baby loss.
                      9. Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a child dies or when a child is bereaved.
                      10. This link will take you to information on Mayah's condition, Edwards' Syndrome (Trisomy 18)
                      11. The Ockenden Report in 2022 found "repeated errors in care" which led to injury to either mothers or their babies at Shrewsbury and Telford Hospital NHS Trust.


                      If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                      Follow us:

                      Instagram

                      Twitter

                      Join our Facebook Group

                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                       

                      NEXT EPISODE:

                      To mark Eating Disorder Awareness Week, my next guest is the awesome Hope Virgo, who chats to me about navigating pregnancy with an eating disorder. Hope is an author and multi award winning campaigner. Through her talks, Hope helps young people and employers deal with the rising tide of mental health issues. In 2018, Hope launched the #DumpTheScales campaign, which put eating disorders on the Government's agenda. Since then it has gone from strength to strength making change happen on a national scale, including a national march taking place in London on 22nd April 2023.


                      SUPPORT:

                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                      YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                      *** For support specific to this episode, see Key Takeaways ***

                      We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).


                      Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                      Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                      Email: app@app-network.org

                      Tel: 020 3322 9900


                      ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association

                      National Resource Center (NRC)/ADHD Helpline Health Information Specialists

                      866-200-8098, Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. — 5 p.m. ET


                      ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD

                       

                      The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                      Call us - 0151 541 9020

                      Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                      AIMS for better birthing.

                      Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                      This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                      Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                      You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                      Andy's Man Club

                      A non-judgemental talking group for men

                      https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                      Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                      Association of Postnatal Illness

                      Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                      Email: info@apni.org

                      Live chat online facility


                      Best Beginnings

                      Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                      evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                      and early stages of parenting.

                      App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                      24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                      Bi-Polar UK

                      email: info@bipolaruk.org


                      Birth Trauma Association

                      Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                      CALM

                      Contact CALM

                      on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


                      Cedar House Support Group

                      Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                      Mobile: 07773 283556


                      Contact: for families with disabled children

                      Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



                      Contact a Family

                      www.cafamily.org.uk

                      Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

                      Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


                      CLAPA – Cleft Lip and Palate Association

                      www.clapa.com

                      Information and support on cleft lip and palate treatment.


                      Dad Matters

                      Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

                      kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

                      0161 344 0669


                      DadsNet 

                      Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                      Dope Black Dads

                      A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world.

                      hello@dopeblack.org



                      Family Lives

                      An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                      Family Rights Group

                      Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                       

                      Fathers Reaching Out

                      https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                      Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                      FiveXMore

                      A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                      Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                      Gingerbread

                      Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                      The Hub of Hope

                      A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                      LGBT Mummies

                      Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                      Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                      Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                      Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                      Maternal OCD

                      Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange


                      Mayah's Legacy

                      Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                      Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                      0300 102 1596


                      The Motherhood Group

                      Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                      info@themotherhoodgroup.com


                      Motivational Mums Club

                      Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                      motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                      Music Football Fatherhood

                      Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                      hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                      Muslim Women’s Network

                      Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                      4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                      and Bengali.

                      Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                      Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                      Text: 07415 206 936


                      National Autistic Society

                      www.autism.org.uk

                      Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


                      Netmums

                      Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                      Clinic.

                       

                      NHS

                      Contact your local GP surgery.

                      Call the NHS on 111

                      or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                      If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                       

                      PANDAS

                      Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                      Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                      Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

                      PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

                      info@perinatalwellbeing.ca


                      Petals

                      Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                      or baby loss.

                      Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                      Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                      Tel: 0300 688 0068


                      PMH Support

                      Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 


                      9bd5dc6f-82bd-49d8-9387-5c2ba80d4619Mon, 13 Feb 2023 08:00:00 +010001:01:21falsefull2292292Vikki Stephenson"No, I Am Not Fine!" P.T.S.D. and Birth Trauma: AMY LEIGH LOOPER"No, I Am Not Fine!" P.T.S.D. and Birth Trauma: AMY LEIGH LOOPERThis week's guest is Amy Leigh Looper, a maternal leadership coach based in the United States.  After a hugely successful career in enterprise software sales, Amy suffered postpartum depression with both of her children. We discuss the impact this had on her life and how she has turned her drive and knowledge to coaching mums on her maternal leadership program, which reduces fear and anxiety and encourages connection, confidence and growth.

                      This episode was recorded over Zoom from America, so apologies for the fluctuating sound quality. And for Brandy the Siamese cat's cameo at the beginning!

                      *TRIGGER WARNING: *Birth Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, brief mention of Suicide*


                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                      [00:00] Teaser quote.

                      [01:53] Introduction to Amy.

                      [03:41] Life before having her daughters.

                      [04:47] The first pregnancy - placenta praevia and bed rest.

                      [07:27] The mental load of tongue tie issues and sleep deprivation.

                      [10:04] Aiva's birth - C-section.

                      [10:58] *Trigger warning: brief mention of suicide of close family member*

                      [12:17] Lack of emotional support from her husband due to grief.

                      [15:05] Emberly's birth - V.B.A.C. and forceps.

                      [16:42] Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and E.M.D.R. Therapy.

                      [20:15] A forced smile 'get this baby off of me'.

                      [21:30] The impact of medical students watching the birth.

                      [25:10] P.T.S.D. and heightened anxiety. Leaving her high-flying career.

                      [30:14] How you fundamentally change when you become a mother.

                      [37:22] Finding her calling.

                      [39:14] How employers need to better support working mothers.

                      [40:26] Amy's work supporting other mums.

                      [43:48] Attitudes and support for postpartum depression in America.

                      [52:47] How to improve the system - better education, including employers.

                      [54:48] The impact of short maternity leave in America.

                      [56:41] Personal growth.

                      [58:21] Amy's message to her younger self and for others out there suffering.


                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                      1. Click here for Amy's website for more information on her maternal leadership coaching and courses, including overcoming Working Mother Burnout.
                      2. Information on Placenta Praevia
                      3. Find out more about Tongue Tie
                      4. Click for information on V.B.A.C. – Vaginal Birth After Caesarean.
                      5. Link to information on P.T.S.D. – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
                      6. Find out more about E.M.D.R. Therapy here – Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.
                      7. Listen to Christina Brown's episode of Blue MumDays
                      8. Medicaid support for postpartum parents in America
                      9. According to Amy, 75% of women suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety in America don’t seek...]]>This week's guest is Amy Leigh Looper, a maternal leadership coach based in the United States.  After a hugely successful career in enterprise software sales, Amy suffered postpartum depression with both of her children. We discuss the impact this had on her life and how she has turned her drive and knowledge to coaching mums on her maternal leadership program, which reduces fear and anxiety and encourages connection, confidence and growth.

                        This episode was recorded over Zoom from America, so apologies for the fluctuating sound quality. And for Brandy the Siamese cat's cameo at the beginning!

                        *TRIGGER WARNING: *Birth Trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, brief mention of Suicide*


                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                        [00:00] Teaser quote.

                        [01:53] Introduction to Amy.

                        [03:41] Life before having her daughters.

                        [04:47] The first pregnancy - placenta praevia and bed rest.

                        [07:27] The mental load of tongue tie issues and sleep deprivation.

                        [10:04] Aiva's birth - C-section.

                        [10:58] *Trigger warning: brief mention of suicide of close family member*

                        [12:17] Lack of emotional support from her husband due to grief.

                        [15:05] Emberly's birth - V.B.A.C. and forceps.

                        [16:42] Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and E.M.D.R. Therapy.

                        [20:15] A forced smile 'get this baby off of me'.

                        [21:30] The impact of medical students watching the birth.

                        [25:10] P.T.S.D. and heightened anxiety. Leaving her high-flying career.

                        [30:14] How you fundamentally change when you become a mother.

                        [37:22] Finding her calling.

                        [39:14] How employers need to better support working mothers.

                        [40:26] Amy's work supporting other mums.

                        [43:48] Attitudes and support for postpartum depression in America.

                        [52:47] How to improve the system - better education, including employers.

                        [54:48] The impact of short maternity leave in America.

                        [56:41] Personal growth.

                        [58:21] Amy's message to her younger self and for others out there suffering.


                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                        1. Click here for Amy's website for more information on her maternal leadership coaching and courses, including overcoming Working Mother Burnout.
                        2. Information on Placenta Praevia
                        3. Find out more about Tongue Tie
                        4. Click for information on V.B.A.C. – Vaginal Birth After Caesarean.
                        5. Link to information on P.T.S.D. – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
                        6. Find out more about E.M.D.R. Therapy here – Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.
                        7. Listen to Christina Brown's episode of Blue MumDays
                        8. Medicaid support for postpartum parents in America
                        9. According to Amy, 75% of women suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety in America don’t seek support.
                        10. Listen to the Blue MumDays episode on Birth Trauma here – with Dr Rebecca Moore of ‘Make Birth Better’.
                        11. Find out more about Amy's book 'Leading Motherhood' through this link. It launches on 16th February 2023.


                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                        Follow us:

                        Instagram

                        Twitter

                        Join our Facebook Group

                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                         

                        NEXT EPISODE:

                        Next time I speak to author, podcaster and professional grief counsellor Keji Moses. Keji talks movingly about the devastation of losing her baby girl Mayah, who was stillborn at 35 weeks. She has since made it her mission to shed light on the mental health impacts of pregnancy loss. Through her charity Mayah's Legacy, Keji supports families affected by this very personal tragedy and helps them to advocate for the care they need.


                        SUPPORT:

                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).


                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                        Email: app@app-network.org

                        Tel: 020 3322 9900


                        ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association

                        National Resource Center (NRC)/ADHD Helpline Health Information Specialists

                        866-200-8098, Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. — 5 p.m. ET


                        ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD

                         

                        The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                        Call us - 0151 541 9020

                        Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                        AIMS for better birthing.

                        Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                        This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                        Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                        You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                        Andy's Man Club

                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                        Email: info@apni.org

                        Live chat online facility


                        Best Beginnings

                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                        and early stages of parenting.

                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                        24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                        Bi-Polar UK

                        email: info@bipolaruk.org


                        Birth Trauma Association

                        Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                        CALM

                        Contact CALM

                        on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


                        Cedar House Support Group

                        Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                        Mobile: 07773 283556


                        Contact: for families with disabled children

                        Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



                        Contact a Family

                        www.cafamily.org.uk

                        Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

                        Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


                        CLAPA – Cleft Lip and Palate Association

                        www.clapa.com

                        Information and support on cleft lip and palate treatment.


                        Dad Matters

                        Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

                        kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

                        0161 344 0669


                        DadsNet 

                        Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                        Dope Black Dads

                        A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world.

                        hello@dopeblack.org



                        Family Lives

                        An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                        Family Rights Group

                        Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                         

                        Fathers Reaching Out

                        https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                        Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                        FiveXMore

                        A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                        Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                        Gingerbread

                        Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                        The Hub of Hope

                        A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                        LGBT Mummies

                        Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                        Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                        Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                        Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                        Maternal OCD

                        Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange


                        Mayah's Legacy

                        Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                        Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                        0300 102 1596


                        The Motherhood Group

                        Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                        info@themotherhoodgroup.com


                        Motivational Mums Club

                        Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                        motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                        Music Football Fatherhood

                        Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                        hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                        Muslim Women’s Network

                        Helpline: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                        4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                        and Bengali.

                        Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                        Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                        Text: 07415 206 936


                        National Autistic Society

                        www.autism.org.uk

                        Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


                        Netmums

                        Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                        Clinic.

                         

                        NHS

                        Contact your local GP surgery.

                        Call the NHS on 111

                        or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                        If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                         

                        PANDAS

                        Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                        Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                        Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

                        PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

                        info@perinatalwellbeing.ca


                        Petals

                        Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                        or baby loss.

                        Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                        Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                        Tel: 0300 688 0068


                        PMH Support

                        Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 


                        Samaritans

                        Tel: 116 123

                        (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                        Web: www.samaritans.org

                        Email: jo@samaritans.org


                        a6795423-adf1-473b-b113-d79caffa4491Mon, 30 Jan 2023 00:15:00 +010001:00:46falsefull2282282Vikki StephensonBLUE MONDAY BONUS: It's Good To Walk: JUSTIN EADE, WELLBEING SPECIALISTBLUE MONDAY BONUS: It's Good To Walk: JUSTIN EADE, WELLBEING SPECIALISTAs a special bonus for 'Blue Monday', wellbeing specialist Justin Eade of Glimpse ~ Moving Well shares 3 quick tips for making the most of a walk. He explains why time outside is so beneficial to us - no matter how short - and how a gym ball can help soothe a crying baby!

                        Bringing together more than 25 years of experience with mind-body practices and holistic health research, Justin is also a nebosh accredited occupational health and safety specialist.

                        He offers tailored and accessible workshops on topics like better sleep and rest, stress and anxiety, digestion, energy levels, joy and relaxation. These can be bespoke to your personal needs and interests and delivered on a 1-2-1 or group basis, either in person or online.


                        Simple embodied practice & ideas to help people achieve a good work (and family) life balance.


                        LEARN MORE:

                        1. You can learn more about Justin and his work here: Glimpse Moving Well
                        2. Twitter @glimpsei / Facebook / Pinterest.
                        3. Get in touch: justin@glimpseinteractive.co.uk / +44(0)7946519835


                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                        Follow us:

                        Instagram

                        Twitter

                        Join our Facebook Group

                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                         

                        MUSIC by Joseph McDade




                        ]]>As a special bonus for 'Blue Monday', wellbeing specialist Justin Eade of Glimpse ~ Moving Well shares 3 quick tips for making the most of a walk. He explains why time outside is so beneficial to us - no matter how short - and how a gym ball can help soothe a crying baby!

                        Bringing together more than 25 years of experience with mind-body practices and holistic health research, Justin is also a nebosh accredited occupational health and safety specialist.

                        He offers tailored and accessible workshops on topics like better sleep and rest, stress and anxiety, digestion, energy levels, joy and relaxation. These can be bespoke to your personal needs and interests and delivered on a 1-2-1 or group basis, either in person or online.


                        Simple embodied practice & ideas to help people achieve a good work (and family) life balance.


                        LEARN MORE:

                        1. You can learn more about Justin and his work here: Glimpse Moving Well
                        2. Twitter @glimpsei / Facebook / Pinterest.
                        3. Get in touch: justin@glimpseinteractive.co.uk / +44(0)7946519835


                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                        Follow us:

                        Instagram

                        Twitter

                        Join our Facebook Group

                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                         

                        MUSIC by Joseph McDade




                        ]]>                        1de05471-5401-4f93-acfa-facb72145475Mon, 16 Jan 2023 00:15:00 +010007:56falsebonus2272272Vikki StephensonOur Altered Life - Parenting A Child With Disabilities: CHARLIE BESWICKOur Altered Life - Parenting A Child With Disabilities: CHARLIE BESWICKThis week's episode is a wonderful lesson in triumphing over adversity - a brave, beautiful and inspiring conversation for 'Blue Monday'. My guest is the incredible Charlie Beswick of facial disfigurement and visible difference charity 'More Than A Face'. Charlie is mum to twins Oliver and Harry - Harry was born with a rare craniofacial condition and is also autistic. Her experience led to her writing her best-selling book 'Our Altered Life', a brutally honest account of how she came to terms with a life she never expected and often resented.

                        UPDATE: This conversation was recorded in Spring 2022 - Charlie's beautiful wedding did go ahead on 24th April, with Harry playing 'You Are My Sunshine' on piano as she walked down the aisle.

                        *TRIGGER WARNING: *Birth Trauma, Feelings of Suicide, Negative Reactions to Disability*

                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                        [00:00] Teaser quote.

                        [01:47] Introduction to Charlie.

                        [03:20] Life before motherhood.

                        [04:43] Finding out she was having twins.

                        [08:12] The pregnancy - feeling good, followed by bed rest.

                        [09:52] The birth - waters breaking at 32 weeks.

                        [12:49] Meeting the boys.

                        [15:03] The shock of hearing Harry's diagnosis.

                        [19:16] Lack of support.

                        [20:48] Hiding behind a smile.

                        [23:40] The impact on her partner and her relationship.

                        [25:25] Coming out of hospital.

                        [26:50] Getting used to the ICU, feeling like a visitor rather than a mother.

                        [29:12] Bringing the boys home.

                        [32:32] Becoming aware that she needed help. Muscle memory of the shock.

                        [36:05] The relationship with Oli.

                        [39:05] The power of validation.

                        [39:41] Finally breaking down in front of her mum.

                        [41:07] Receiving Harry's diagnosis of Autism.

                        [45:40] Reaching rock bottom - planning to take her life. *TRIGGER WARNING*

                        [46:43] Recovery - medication and counselling.

                        [48:20] The need for self compassion.

                        [50:30] Charlie's work - charity 'More Than A Face' and helping mums accept their 'grief'.

                        [54:27] The affect on Oli of having a sibling with additional needs.

                        [58:07] The boys now, as teenagers.

                        [1:00:15] The happy ending.

                        [1:01:58] Charlie's book, charting her motherhood journey, 'Our Altered Life'.

                        [1:03:03] How to get hold of Charlie.

                        [1:03:33] Advice for when meeting a parent of a child with additional needs.


                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                        1. Support for parents of multiples via the Twins Trust (formerly TAMBA)
                        2. For more information about Harry's condition, Goldenhar syndrome, please click this link.
                        3. For parents of children with Autism, charity 'Ambitious About Autism' have a Parent Toolkit which may be helpful to you.
                        4. Listen to our special episodes on Self Compassion Part 1 and Self Compassion Part 2 with Poonam Dhuffer of]]>This week's episode is a wonderful lesson in triumphing over adversity - a brave, beautiful and inspiring conversation for 'Blue Monday'. My guest is the incredible Charlie Beswick of facial disfigurement and visible difference charity 'More Than A Face'. Charlie is mum to twins Oliver and Harry - Harry was born with a rare craniofacial condition and is also autistic. Her experience led to her writing her best-selling book 'Our Altered Life', a brutally honest account of how she came to terms with a life she never expected and often resented.

                          UPDATE: This conversation was recorded in Spring 2022 - Charlie's beautiful wedding did go ahead on 24th April, with Harry playing 'You Are My Sunshine' on piano as she walked down the aisle.

                          *TRIGGER WARNING: *Birth Trauma, Feelings of Suicide, Negative Reactions to Disability*

                          IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                          [00:00] Teaser quote.

                          [01:47] Introduction to Charlie.

                          [03:20] Life before motherhood.

                          [04:43] Finding out she was having twins.

                          [08:12] The pregnancy - feeling good, followed by bed rest.

                          [09:52] The birth - waters breaking at 32 weeks.

                          [12:49] Meeting the boys.

                          [15:03] The shock of hearing Harry's diagnosis.

                          [19:16] Lack of support.

                          [20:48] Hiding behind a smile.

                          [23:40] The impact on her partner and her relationship.

                          [25:25] Coming out of hospital.

                          [26:50] Getting used to the ICU, feeling like a visitor rather than a mother.

                          [29:12] Bringing the boys home.

                          [32:32] Becoming aware that she needed help. Muscle memory of the shock.

                          [36:05] The relationship with Oli.

                          [39:05] The power of validation.

                          [39:41] Finally breaking down in front of her mum.

                          [41:07] Receiving Harry's diagnosis of Autism.

                          [45:40] Reaching rock bottom - planning to take her life. *TRIGGER WARNING*

                          [46:43] Recovery - medication and counselling.

                          [48:20] The need for self compassion.

                          [50:30] Charlie's work - charity 'More Than A Face' and helping mums accept their 'grief'.

                          [54:27] The affect on Oli of having a sibling with additional needs.

                          [58:07] The boys now, as teenagers.

                          [1:00:15] The happy ending.

                          [1:01:58] Charlie's book, charting her motherhood journey, 'Our Altered Life'.

                          [1:03:03] How to get hold of Charlie.

                          [1:03:33] Advice for when meeting a parent of a child with additional needs.


                          KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                          1. Support for parents of multiples via the Twins Trust (formerly TAMBA)
                          2. For more information about Harry's condition, Goldenhar syndrome, please click this link.
                          3. For parents of children with Autism, charity 'Ambitious About Autism' have a Parent Toolkit which may be helpful to you.
                          4. Listen to our special episodes on Self Compassion Part 1 and Self Compassion Part 2 with Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8.
                          5. The 15 minute Loving Kindness Meditation will help you relax, reset and recharge any time you need it. You don't need to meditate - just close your eyes and listen to Poonam's words.
                          6. Charlie's work supporting other mums via her website Our Altered Life.
                          7. Charlie's charity More Than A Face was set up to raise awareness of facial disfigurement and promote understanding, acceptance and inclusion.
                          8. You can order Charlie's book 'Our Altered Life: A Mother's Heartbreak and the Boys Who Saved Her' on this link (published under Charlene Beswick).
                          9. You can read and download Chapter One for free here.


                          Early intervention is hugely important in terms of getting help. The earlier you seek support, the better in terms of your recovery.If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                          Follow us:

                          Instagram

                          Twitter

                          Join our Facebook Group

                          Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                           

                          NEXT EPISODE:

                          Next week I speak to Amy Leigh Looper, a maternal leadership coach based in the United States.  After a hugely successful career in enterprise software sales, Amy suffered postpartum depression with both her children. We discuss the impact this had on her life and how she has turned her drive and knowledge to coaching mums on her maternal leadership program, which reduces fear and anxiety and encourages connection, confidence and growth.


                          SUPPORT:

                          If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                          YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                          We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).


                          *SPECIFIC TO THIS EPISODE:


                          The Katie Piper Foundation

                          www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk

                          The Katie Piper Foundation helps individuals with burns and scars.


                          Changing Faces

                          www.changingfaces.org.uk

                          Changing Faces support anyone with disfigurements of the face, hands and body.

                          Helpline: 0300 0120 275 (lines open Monday – Friday 10am – 4pm)

                          Skin Camouflage: 0300 0120 276 (line open Monday – Friday 10am – 4pm)


                          Let’s Face It

                          www.lets-face-it.org.uk

                          Let’s Face It are a support network for anyone with facial disfigurement, as well as their families.


                          Saving Faces

                          www.savingfaces.co.uk

                          Support for anyone undergoing the treatment of Orofacial Cancers, trauma as well as other facial disfigurements, plus support for their families.


                          Contact a Family

                          www.cafamily.org.uk

                          Contact a Family offer support for all childhood conditions, are also able to put families in touch. Featuring a directory of conditions and rare disorders online.

                          Helpline: 0808 808 3555 (lines open Monday – Friday 9.30am – 5pm)


                          CLAPA – Cleft Lip and Palate Association

                          www.clapa.com

                          Information and support on cleft lip and palate treatment.


                          British Association of Skin Camouflage

                          www.skin-camouflage.net

                          Helping patients to increase confidence by the skilful application of skin camouflage.


                          Headlines

                          www.headlines.org.uk

                          Support to those affected by Craniosynostosis and associated conditions. Providing factual information and links to appropriate medical establishments experienced in treating these conditions. We also provide a friendly and confidential telephone helpline to all those affected.


                          About Face

                          www.omfsaboutface.co.uk

                          ABOUTFACE is a Patients’ and Carers’ support group. It has merged with a National Charity called Facial Surgery Research Foundation. It aims at helping present and future patients and carers to live through a difficult part of their lives as they are coping with the treatment of Orofacial Cancers, Trauma and other facial disfigurements.


                          The Healing Foundation

                          www.thehealingfoundation.org.uk

                          The Healing Foundation is a national fundraising charity championing the cause of people living with disfigurement and visible loss of function, by funding research into pioneering surgical and psychological healing techniques.


                          Facing the World

                          www.facingtheworld.net

                          Facing the World is a unique UK charity that exists to provide life-changing craniofacial surgery to some of the world’s most disadvantaged and vulnerable children from developing countries affected by severe facial disfigurements.


                          National Autistic Society

                          www.autism.org.uk

                          Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.


                          *GENERAL SUPPORT:

                          

                          Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                          Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                          Email: app@app-network.org

                          Tel: 020 3322 9900


                          ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association

                          National Resource Center (NRC)/ADHD Helpline Health Information Specialists

                          866-200-8098, Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. — 5 p.m. ET


                          ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD

                           

                          The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                          Call us - 0151 541 9020

                          Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                          AIMS for better birthing.

                          Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                          This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                          Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                          You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                          Andy's Man Club

                          A non-judgemental talking group for men

                          https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                          Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                          Association of Postnatal Illness

                          Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                          Email: info@apni.org

                          Live chat online facility

                           

                          Best Beginnings

                          Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                          evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                          and early stages of parenting.

                          App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                          24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                          Bi-Polar UK

                          email: info@bipolaruk.org


                          Birth Trauma Association

                          Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                           

                          CALM

                          Contact CALM

                          on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                           

                          Cedar House Support Group

                          Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                          Mobile: 07773 283556


                          Contact: for families with disabled children

                          Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



                          Dad Matters

                          Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

                          kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

                          0161 344 0669


                          DadsNet 

                          Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                          Dope Black Dads

                          A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world.

                          hello@dopeblack.org



                          Family Lives

                          An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                          Family Rights Group

                          Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                           

                          Fathers Reaching Out

                          https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                          Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                          FiveXMore

                          A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                          Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                          Gingerbread

                          Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                          The Hub of Hope

                          A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                          LGBT Mummies

                          Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                          Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                          Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                          Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                          Maternal OCD

                          Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                          arrange


                          Mayah's Legacy

                          Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                          Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                          0300 102 1596


                          The Motherhood Group

                          Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                          info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                           

                          Motivational Mums Club

                          Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                          motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                          Music Football Fatherhood

                          Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                          8fbe7435-6c52-42fa-8295-4a29f3899239Mon, 16 Jan 2023 00:15:00 +010001:06:54falsefull2262262Vikki StephensonI Was Called 'Aggressive' During My Labour: SANDRA IGWE of The Motherhood GroupI Was Called 'Aggressive' During My Labour: SANDRA IGWE of The Motherhood GroupOur Christmas/New Year episode is with the hugely inspiring Sandra Igwe - maternal health advocate, TEDx speaker and founder of The Motherhood Group. Sandra talked to me in Spring 2022 about her work raising awareness of the disparities of black women's maternal mental health outcomes and issues. She also bravely shares her own personal experience of birth trauma and racism and the profound affect this has had on navigating motherhood.

                          Despite the heavy subject matter, I found this a joyous conversation and once again - like so many of my guests - Sandra has turned a hugely traumatic experience into something so positive, helping educate health professionals and offering support to other mums.

                          *TRIGGER WARNING: *Birth Trauma and Racial Discrimination*

                          IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                          [00:00] Teaser quote.

                          [01:52] Introduction to Sandra.

                          [03:26] Writing her latest book based on her experience, 'My Black Motherhood'.

                          [05:37] Life before becoming a mum and the transition into motherhood.

                          [09:52] Sandra's first pregnancy - a beautiful surprise!

                          [13:49] Worries about not being a 'good' mum during pregnancy.

                          [16:04] Zoe's birth - dismissive, racist treatment and lack of adequate care/choice.

                          [21:15] Similar situation with her second daughter's birth - more trauma.

                          [25:05] Aftercare - or lack of it! The need for healthcare professionals to be better trained, especially on cultural competence.

                          [30:12] How this birth trauma impacted on Sandra's mental health.

                          [33:30] Cultural stigma and shame regarding perinatal mental health.

                          [35:17] Finding her tribe and finding her voice - starting The Motherhood Group.

                          [44:53] Recovery, including support from her partner.

                          [50:30] Finding your groove.

                          [52:24] Sandra's faith.

                          [54:48] Advice for people currently struggling.

                          [58:53] Free support available via The Motherhood Group.

                          KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                          1. Sandra's organisation The Motherhood Group raises awareness of black maternal health issues and offers peer-to-peer support, free doula support and free counselling for issues like anxiety, PND and stress.
                          2. Black Maternal Health Week highlights the disparity of black mums' maternal mental health outcomes and issues. It occurs 11-17 April and this year's theme is: "Our Bodies Belong to Us: Restoring Black Autonomy and Joy!' (#BMHW23).
                          3. Sandra's latest book 'My Black Motherhood: Mental Health, Stigma, Racism & The System' is available in all good book stores. You can purchase it here.
                          4. Feeling emotionally invalidated during your labour is highly traumatising.
                          5. If you can, have someone at your birth who can advocate for you while you are in a vulnerable position.
                          6. The MBBRACE-UK Report 2020 into maternal deaths showed that black mums in the UK have 4x the risk of dying in pregnancy in comparison to a white woman.
                          7. Black and minority mums are more like to have or develop mental health problems during the perinatal period and are less likely to get help.
                          8. Black Mamas Matter...]]>Our Christmas/New Year episode is with the hugely inspiring Sandra Igwe - maternal health advocate, TEDx speaker and founder of The Motherhood Group. Sandra talked to me in Spring 2022 about her work raising awareness of the disparities of black women's maternal mental health outcomes and issues. She also bravely shares her own personal experience of birth trauma and racism and the profound affect this has had on navigating motherhood.

                            Despite the heavy subject matter, I found this a joyous conversation and once again - like so many of my guests - Sandra has turned a hugely traumatic experience into something so positive, helping educate health professionals and offering support to other mums.

                            *TRIGGER WARNING: *Birth Trauma and Racial Discrimination*

                            IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                            [00:00] Teaser quote.

                            [01:52] Introduction to Sandra.

                            [03:26] Writing her latest book based on her experience, 'My Black Motherhood'.

                            [05:37] Life before becoming a mum and the transition into motherhood.

                            [09:52] Sandra's first pregnancy - a beautiful surprise!

                            [13:49] Worries about not being a 'good' mum during pregnancy.

                            [16:04] Zoe's birth - dismissive, racist treatment and lack of adequate care/choice.

                            [21:15] Similar situation with her second daughter's birth - more trauma.

                            [25:05] Aftercare - or lack of it! The need for healthcare professionals to be better trained, especially on cultural competence.

                            [30:12] How this birth trauma impacted on Sandra's mental health.

                            [33:30] Cultural stigma and shame regarding perinatal mental health.

                            [35:17] Finding her tribe and finding her voice - starting The Motherhood Group.

                            [44:53] Recovery, including support from her partner.

                            [50:30] Finding your groove.

                            [52:24] Sandra's faith.

                            [54:48] Advice for people currently struggling.

                            [58:53] Free support available via The Motherhood Group.

                            KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                            1. Sandra's organisation The Motherhood Group raises awareness of black maternal health issues and offers peer-to-peer support, free doula support and free counselling for issues like anxiety, PND and stress.
                            2. Black Maternal Health Week highlights the disparity of black mums' maternal mental health outcomes and issues. It occurs 11-17 April and this year's theme is: "Our Bodies Belong to Us: Restoring Black Autonomy and Joy!' (#BMHW23).
                            3. Sandra's latest book 'My Black Motherhood: Mental Health, Stigma, Racism & The System' is available in all good book stores. You can purchase it here.
                            4. Feeling emotionally invalidated during your labour is highly traumatising.
                            5. If you can, have someone at your birth who can advocate for you while you are in a vulnerable position.
                            6. The MBBRACE-UK Report 2020 into maternal deaths showed that black mums in the UK have 4x the risk of dying in pregnancy in comparison to a white woman.
                            7. Black and minority mums are more like to have or develop mental health problems during the perinatal period and are less likely to get help.
                            8. Black Mamas Matter Alliance
                            9. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)
                            10. You can listen to our special episode on Birth Trauma with Dr Becca Moore of Make Birth Better here.
                            11. Talking therapy is so important - finding and opening up with other women and parents who are going through similar experiences to you.
                            12. Sandra Igwe's website for more on Sandra and her work.
                            13. Listen to our special episodes on Self Compassion Part 1 and Self Compassion Part 2 with Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8.
                            14. The 15 minute Loving Kindness Meditation will help you relax, reset and recharge any time you need it. You don't need to meditate - just close your eyes and listen to Poonam's words.
                            15. Don't compare yourself to people's social media feeds - it's not a true reflection of what's really going on for them.

                            Early intervention is hugely important in terms of getting help. The earlier you seek support, the better in terms of your recovery.If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                            Follow us:

                            Instagram

                            Twitter

                            Join our Facebook Group

                            Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                             

                            NEXT EPISODE:

                            Next time I speak to another incredible lady, Charlie Beswick of facial disfigurement and visible difference charity 'More Than A Face'. Charlie is mum to twins Oliver and Harry - Harry was born with a rare craniofacial condition and is also autistic. Her experience led to her writing her best-selling book 'Our Altered Life', a brutally honest account of how she came to terms with a life she never expected and often resented. It is a brave and beautiful conversation.


                            SUPPORT:

                            If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                            YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                            We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                             

                            Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                            Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                            Email: app@app-network.org

                            Tel: 020 3322 9900


                            ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association

                            National Resource Center (NRC)/ADHD Helpline Health Information Specialists

                            866-200-8098, Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. — 5 p.m. ET


                            ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD

                             

                            The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                            Call us - 0151 541 9020

                            Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                            AIMS for better birthing.

                            Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                            This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                            Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                            You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                            Andy's Man Club

                            A non-judgemental talking group for men

                            https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                            Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                            Association of Postnatal Illness

                            Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                            Email: info@apni.org

                            Live chat online facility

                             

                            Best Beginnings

                            Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                            evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                            and early stages of parenting.

                            App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                            24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                            Bi-Polar UK

                            email: info@bipolaruk.org


                            Birth Trauma Association

                            Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                             

                            CALM

                            Contact CALM

                            on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                             

                            Cedar House Support Group

                            Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                            Mobile: 07773 283556


                            Contact: for families with disabled children

                            Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



                            Dad Matters

                            Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

                            kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

                            0161 344 0669


                            DadsNet 

                            Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                            Dope Black Dads

                            A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world.

                            hello@dopeblack.org



                            Family Lives

                            An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                            Family Rights Group

                            Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                             

                            Fathers Reaching Out

                            https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                            Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                            FiveXMore

                            A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                            Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                            Gingerbread

                            Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                            The Hub of Hope

                            A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                            LGBT Mummies

                            Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                            Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                            Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                            Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                            Maternal OCD

                            Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                            arrange


                            Mayah's Legacy

                            Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                            Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                            0300 102 1596


                            The Motherhood Group

                            Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                            info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                             

                            Motivational Mums Club

                            Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                            motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                            Music Football Fatherhood

                            Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                            hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                            Muslim Women’s Network

                            Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                            4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                            and Bengali.

                            Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                            Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                            Text: 07415 206 936

                             

                            Netmums

                            Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                            Clinic.

                             

                            NHS

                            Contact your local GP surgery.

                            Call the NHS on 111

                            or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                            If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                             

                            PANDAS

                            Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                            Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                            Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

                            PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

                            info@perinatalwellbeing.ca

                             

                            Petals

                            Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                            or baby loss.

                            Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                            Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                            Tel: 0300 688 0068


                            PMH Support

                            Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 


                            cabe1ac7-d23e-4ea8-a3df-1116dbf3f93aMon, 02 Jan 2023 00:15:00 +010001:02:31falsefull2252252Vikki StephensonMum Guilt, Trauma and Systemic Inequality: DR ORINAYO ONABANJOMum Guilt, Trauma and Systemic Inequality: DR ORINAYO ONABANJOThis week my guest is Dr Orinayo Onabanjo, a chartered counselling psychologist with a passion for perinatal mental health. Orin's skills include helping mums cultivate stronger attachments with their babies and addressing the impact unresolved childhood trauma can have on the journey of motherhood. We chat everything from mum guilt to the racist inequalities faced by black and brown parents in the UK maternity system.

                            *TRIGGER WARNING: Birth Trauma and PTSD*

                            IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                            

                            [00:00] Teaser quote.

                            [01:46] Introducing Orin.

                            [04:12] How Orin helps new parents.

                            [04:45] The identity change and adjustment that occurs when you become a parent.

                            [13:03] The relationship of unresolved childhood trauma and becoming a parent.

                            [15:23] High expectations and the pressure to be 'super mum' or 'super dad'. The need to be more self compassionate.

                            [16:51] Reflecting on perfectionism and the drive to be the 'perfect' parent. The importance of self compassionate action.

                            [19:49] 'Good enough' parenting and mum guilt.

                            [23:17] Black and minority mums are 4x more likely to die in childbirth. The urgent need to look into this and better understand the black experience.

                            [28:05] Orin's work with healthcare providers, increasing their understanding of perinatal mental health.

                            [34:26] Early intervention is key.

                            [36:30] If you feel trauma from your birth, you have birth trauma. You don't need a formal diagnosis of it.

                            [37:01] The impact of being emotionally invalidated during your labour.

                            [39:30] How to get in touch with Orin.


                            KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                            1. The phrase 'perinatal' refers to the period before and after having your baby.
                            2. It can be difficult to adjust to your new identity, and it's okay for you to 'grieve' for the person you were before. It's a huge transition - allow yourself to time to adjust.
                            3. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)
                            4. You can listen to our special episode on Birth Trauma with Dr Becca Moore of Make Birth Better here.
                            5. Unresolved emotional wounds from childhood trauma can reappear when you become a parent.
                            6. Self care and self compassion is really important when you become a parent - it's not selfish and it helps the entire family.
                            7. Listen to our special episodes on Self Compassion Part 1 and Self Compassion Part 2 with Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8.
                            8. The 15 minute Loving Kindness Meditation will help you relax, reset and recharge any time you need it. You don't need to meditate - just close your eyes and listen to Poonam's words.
                            9. It's not realistic to be 'perfect' - there is no such thing!
                            10. Don't compare yourself to people's social media feeds - it's not a true reflection of what's really going on for them.
                            11. The MBBRACE-UK Report 2020 into maternal deaths showed that black mums in the UK have 4x the risk...]]>This week my guest is Dr Orinayo Onabanjo, a chartered counselling psychologist with a passion for perinatal mental health. Orin's skills include helping mums cultivate stronger attachments with their babies and addressing the impact unresolved childhood trauma can have on the journey of motherhood. We chat everything from mum guilt to the racist inequalities faced by black and brown parents in the UK maternity system.

                              *TRIGGER WARNING: Birth Trauma and PTSD*

                              IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                              

                              [00:00] Teaser quote.

                              [01:46] Introducing Orin.

                              [04:12] How Orin helps new parents.

                              [04:45] The identity change and adjustment that occurs when you become a parent.

                              [13:03] The relationship of unresolved childhood trauma and becoming a parent.

                              [15:23] High expectations and the pressure to be 'super mum' or 'super dad'. The need to be more self compassionate.

                              [16:51] Reflecting on perfectionism and the drive to be the 'perfect' parent. The importance of self compassionate action.

                              [19:49] 'Good enough' parenting and mum guilt.

                              [23:17] Black and minority mums are 4x more likely to die in childbirth. The urgent need to look into this and better understand the black experience.

                              [28:05] Orin's work with healthcare providers, increasing their understanding of perinatal mental health.

                              [34:26] Early intervention is key.

                              [36:30] If you feel trauma from your birth, you have birth trauma. You don't need a formal diagnosis of it.

                              [37:01] The impact of being emotionally invalidated during your labour.

                              [39:30] How to get in touch with Orin.


                              KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                              1. The phrase 'perinatal' refers to the period before and after having your baby.
                              2. It can be difficult to adjust to your new identity, and it's okay for you to 'grieve' for the person you were before. It's a huge transition - allow yourself to time to adjust.
                              3. Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)
                              4. You can listen to our special episode on Birth Trauma with Dr Becca Moore of Make Birth Better here.
                              5. Unresolved emotional wounds from childhood trauma can reappear when you become a parent.
                              6. Self care and self compassion is really important when you become a parent - it's not selfish and it helps the entire family.
                              7. Listen to our special episodes on Self Compassion Part 1 and Self Compassion Part 2 with Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8.
                              8. The 15 minute Loving Kindness Meditation will help you relax, reset and recharge any time you need it. You don't need to meditate - just close your eyes and listen to Poonam's words.
                              9. It's not realistic to be 'perfect' - there is no such thing!
                              10. Don't compare yourself to people's social media feeds - it's not a true reflection of what's really going on for them.
                              11. The MBBRACE-UK Report 2020 into maternal deaths showed that black mums in the UK have 4x the risk of dying in pregnancy in comparison to a white woman.
                              12. Black and minority mums are more like to have or develop mental health problems during the perinatal period and are less likely to get help.
                              13. FiveXMore is dedicated to supporting mothers with its campaigning work and recommendations. It focuses on empowering Black women to make informed choices and advocate for themselves throughout their pregnancies and after childbirth.
                              14. Tokophobia is the extreme fear of giving birth.
                              15. Early intervention is hugely important in terms of getting help.
                              16. Feeling emotionally invalidated during your labour is highly traumatising.
                              17. Get in touch with Orin here


                              If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                              Follow us:

                              Instagram

                              Twitter

                              Join our Facebook Group

                              Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                               

                              NEXT EPISODE:

                              Our special Christmas episode is with Sandra Igwe, maternal health advocate, TEDx speaker and founder of the Motherhood Group. Sandra talks to me about her work raising awareness of the disparities of black women's maternal mental health outcomes and issues. She also bravely shares her own personal experience of birth trauma and motherhood.


                              SUPPORT:

                              If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                              YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                              We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                               

                              Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                              Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                              Email: app@app-network.org

                              Tel: 020 3322 9900


                              ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association

                              National Resource Center (NRC)/ADHD Helpline Health Information Specialists

                              866-200-8098, Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. — 5 p.m. ET


                              ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD

                               

                              The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                              Call us - 0151 541 9020

                              Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                              AIMS for better birthing.

                              Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                              This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                              Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                              You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                              Andy's Man Club

                              A non-judgemental talking group for men

                              https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                              Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                              Association of Postnatal Illness

                              Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                              Email: info@apni.org

                              Live chat online facility

                               

                              Best Beginnings

                              Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                              evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                              and early stages of parenting.

                              App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                              24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                              Bi-Polar UK

                              email: info@bipolaruk.org


                              Birth Trauma Association

                              Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                               

                              CALM

                              Contact CALM

                              on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                               

                              Cedar House Support Group

                              Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                              Mobile: 07773 283556


                              Contact: for families with disabled children

                              Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



                              Dad Matters

                              Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

                              kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

                              0161 344 0669


                              DadsNet 

                              Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                              Dope Black Dads

                              A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world.

                              hello@dopeblack.org



                              Family Lives

                              An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                              Family Rights Group

                              Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                               

                              Fathers Reaching Out

                              https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                              Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                              FiveXMore

                              A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                              Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                              Gingerbread

                              Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                              The Hub of Hope

                              A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                              LGBT Mummies

                              Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                              Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                              Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                              Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                              Maternal OCD

                              Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                              arrange


                              Mayah's Legacy

                              Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                              Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                              0300 102 1596


                              The Motherhood Group

                              Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                              info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                               

                              Motivational Mums Club

                              Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                              motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                              Music Football Fatherhood

                              Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                              hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                              Muslim Women’s Network

                              Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                              4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                              and Bengali.

                              Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                              Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                              Text: 07415 206 936

                               

                              Netmums

                              Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                              Clinic.

                               

                              NHS

                              Contact your local GP surgery.

                              Call the NHS on 111

                              or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                              If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                               

                              PANDAS

                              Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                              Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                              Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

                              PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

                              info@perinatalwellbeing.ca

                               

                              Petals

                              Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                              or baby loss.

                              Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                              Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                              Tel: 0300 688 0068


                              PMH Support

                              Scott Mair is a consultant in paternal mental health and parent education, Peer support trainer. Dad, Husband, Army veteran. 


                              Samaritans

                              Tel: 116 123

                              (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                              Web: www.samaritans.org

                              Email: jo@samaritans.org

                               

                              Sands Charity

                              Emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby.

                              0808 164 3332

                              Email: helpline@sands.org.uk


                              Shout

                              Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential...]]>63c8da19-efdf-450b-8e12-9746dd7381aeMon, 12 Dec 2022 00:30:00 +010040:41falsefull2242242Vikki StephensonI Felt Like A Bystander: PROFESSOR VIREN SWAMII Felt Like A Bystander: PROFESSOR VIREN SWAMIIn a Movember male-mental-health special, this week I chat to Professor Viren Swami. Viren is Professor of Social Psychology at Anglia Ruskin University and is ranked in the top 2% of 'most-cited scientists' in the world. Viren's research is focused on the promotion of positive body image in diverse cultural groups, as well as mental health literacy and understandings of mental ill-health.

                              His work has moved on to include paternal postnatal depression following Viren's own struggles with fatherhood. He talks to me very candidly and movingly about the effects of suffering from PND after the birth of his son. Not to be missed.

                              *TRIGGER WARNING: Postnatal Depression, Birth Trauma and feelings of Suicide*

                              IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                              [00:00] Teaser quote.

                              [01:59] Introducing Viren.

                              [02:54] Viren before his son came along.

                              [03:27] The abstract concept of 'having a baby'.

                              [04:44] Viren's work in mental health literacy.

                              [06:02] How men often put off seeking help.

                              [07:04] Highlight to other relevant episodes from S1 - Mark Williams, Elliott Rae and Dr Andy Mayers.

                              [07:27] It's a myth that men don't suffer from postnatal depression - 8-12% of first-time fathers do.

                              [08:13] Applying the term 'postnatal depression' to men can often make people less understanding, due to the misconception they are taking emphasis away from women.

                              [09:42] During the pregnancy, Viren felt estranged and 'not part of the process'.

                              [10:26] The birth itself - an unexpected and traumatic birth at home.

                              [12:20] Holding his son for the first time - feelings of numbness and not wanting to be there.

                              [15:09] The overwhelming responsibility of having a tiny human being and not knowing what to do.

                              [15:50] Problems with sleep.

                              [19:30] Viren's wife's experience - worrying about Viren on top of being a new mum.

                              [20:48] Issues with Jesse not feeding. Feelings of helplessness and not being able to 'fix' things.

                              [23:16] Struggling to function normally. Feelings of shame.

                              [24:21] Research study demonstrated the difference in how people perceived PND in mums and fathers.

                              [25:23] Keeping his feelings hidden.

                              [27:44] The devastating consequences of men suffering from postnatal depression.

                              [29:18] Depression doesn't get better on its own - the importance of talking.

                              [30:15] Internalising the depression, "there's nothing wrong with me!"

                              [31:04] Once opening up to a health visitor and being shut down.

                              [33:42] Plans for screening fathers - the need for everyone to be screened.

                              [35:33] Fears around being 'mentally ill' or having his son taken away.

                              [36:34] Feelings of anger at everything.

                              [37:08] "Why'd you hate me?" Irrational thoughts that Viren wasn't needed by his family. Feelings of suicide and battling himself.

                              [39:22] Feelings of love for Jesse didn't come till much later.

                              [41:17] The turning point - a letter from his wife and a visit to his GP.

                              [43:55] Advice for dads going through it right now. The affect of non-help-seeking on your family.

                              [46:33] Getting better isn't a linear process - there will be many ups and downs along the way.

                              [48:39] Realising that 'it's not your fault'.

                              [50:10] Playing with Jesse in front of his psychotherapist and being told that he was a good parent.

                              [52:00] Falling in love with his son and learning how to 'parent'.

                              [53:14] Breaking the fear of taking his son out on his own.

                              [55:06] The brilliance of baby cinema, like the Picturehouse's 'Big Scream'.

                              [56:03] The difficulty 'rationalising' those intrusive thoughts.

                              [56:28] The potential to be depressed after the birth of a child exists in everyone.

                              [57:29] So many people go through this experience - it...]]>In a Movember male-mental-health special, this week I chat to Professor Viren Swami. Viren is Professor of Social Psychology at Anglia Ruskin University and is ranked in the top 2% of 'most-cited scientists' in the world. Viren's research is focused on the promotion of positive body image in diverse cultural groups, as well as mental health literacy and understandings of mental ill-health.

                              His work has moved on to include paternal postnatal depression following Viren's own struggles with fatherhood. He talks to me very candidly and movingly about the effects of suffering from PND after the birth of his son. Not to be missed.

                              *TRIGGER WARNING: Postnatal Depression, Birth Trauma and feelings of Suicide*

                              IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                              [00:00] Teaser quote.

                              [01:59] Introducing Viren.

                              [02:54] Viren before his son came along.

                              [03:27] The abstract concept of 'having a baby'.

                              [04:44] Viren's work in mental health literacy.

                              [06:02] How men often put off seeking help.

                              [07:04] Highlight to other relevant episodes from S1 - Mark Williams, Elliott Rae and Dr Andy Mayers.

                              [07:27] It's a myth that men don't suffer from postnatal depression - 8-12% of first-time fathers do.

                              [08:13] Applying the term 'postnatal depression' to men can often make people less understanding, due to the misconception they are taking emphasis away from women.

                              [09:42] During the pregnancy, Viren felt estranged and 'not part of the process'.

                              [10:26] The birth itself - an unexpected and traumatic birth at home.

                              [12:20] Holding his son for the first time - feelings of numbness and not wanting to be there.

                              [15:09] The overwhelming responsibility of having a tiny human being and not knowing what to do.

                              [15:50] Problems with sleep.

                              [19:30] Viren's wife's experience - worrying about Viren on top of being a new mum.

                              [20:48] Issues with Jesse not feeding. Feelings of helplessness and not being able to 'fix' things.

                              [23:16] Struggling to function normally. Feelings of shame.

                              [24:21] Research study demonstrated the difference in how people perceived PND in mums and fathers.

                              [25:23] Keeping his feelings hidden.

                              [27:44] The devastating consequences of men suffering from postnatal depression.

                              [29:18] Depression doesn't get better on its own - the importance of talking.

                              [30:15] Internalising the depression, "there's nothing wrong with me!"

                              [31:04] Once opening up to a health visitor and being shut down.

                              [33:42] Plans for screening fathers - the need for everyone to be screened.

                              [35:33] Fears around being 'mentally ill' or having his son taken away.

                              [36:34] Feelings of anger at everything.

                              [37:08] "Why'd you hate me?" Irrational thoughts that Viren wasn't needed by his family. Feelings of suicide and battling himself.

                              [39:22] Feelings of love for Jesse didn't come till much later.

                              [41:17] The turning point - a letter from his wife and a visit to his GP.

                              [43:55] Advice for dads going through it right now. The affect of non-help-seeking on your family.

                              [46:33] Getting better isn't a linear process - there will be many ups and downs along the way.

                              [48:39] Realising that 'it's not your fault'.

                              [50:10] Playing with Jesse in front of his psychotherapist and being told that he was a good parent.

                              [52:00] Falling in love with his son and learning how to 'parent'.

                              [53:14] Breaking the fear of taking his son out on his own.

                              [55:06] The brilliance of baby cinema, like the Picturehouse's 'Big Scream'.

                              [56:03] The difficulty 'rationalising' those intrusive thoughts.

                              [56:28] The potential to be depressed after the birth of a child exists in everyone.

                              [57:29] So many people go through this experience - it is not shameful.

                              [58:18] We need to look at helping the family unit as a whole, whatever your family looks like.

                              KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                              1. For many dads, the idea of 'having a baby' is an abstract concept.
                              2. Mental health literacy is the idea of how non-scientists understand what mental health is, how they think illnesses like depression happen.
                              3. Men often put off seeking help as it doesn't fit their conception of what 'being masculine' means. They can also lack the vocabulary to explain how they are feeling.
                              4. 8-12% of first time fathers will experience debilitating depression, anxiety or extreme stress.
                              5. Difficulty with feeding can be one of the biggest contributors to psychological distress in new mums.
                              6. A research study proved that people use the term 'postnatal depression' for symptoms in mums but 'exhaustion' or 'tiredness' for the same symptoms in dads.
                              7. Tragically 1 in 10 men who experience depression will take their own lives.
                              8. PND in men can have a devastating affect on the whole family - it can create feelings of rage and anger, can trigger PND in the mum and can affect the cognitive and linguistic development of the baby.
                              9. Depression doesn't get better on its own - seeking support is crucial. There are loads of links in the show notes but your GP should always be your first port of call. Please talk.
                              10. Health visitors need better training to understand cues for depression in dads.
                              11. For many dads, they don't truly begin to bond with their child until they are older and interacting more.
                              12. There are many pathways into care - from simply opening up to a friend or your family, to speaking to your GP or a psychotherapist.
                              13. Non-help-seeking behaviour impacts on the whole family - the sooner you seek help, the better it is for them.
                              14. Recovery isn't linear. There will be lots of ups and downs along the way and that is normal. But the good days will outweigh the bad with time.
                              15. It is important to remember that depression is not your fault, it is a mental illness.
                              16. Viren's research has proven that the potential to be depressed after the birth of your baby exists in everyone - no-one is immune.
                              17. Asking for help is not shameful - it's the most powerful thing you want to do.
                              18. Often men find once they are given a safe space to talk, they want to keep talking, they want to open up.
                              19. Routine screening for all parents-to-be and parenting classes could make such a difference to the mental health of families.
                              20. Picturehouse 'Big Scream' baby cinema.
                              21. Movember is the leading charity changing the face of men's health. You can Donate to Movember here.
                              22. Support for fathers can be found here: Fathers Reaching Out, Music Football Fatherhood, PMH Support, Dope Black Dads and Dad Matters.
                              23. LISTEN: Blue MumDays S1 Ep 3 Elliott Rae on PTSD in Fathers.
                              24. LISTEN: Blue MumDays S1 Ep 8 The Daddy Blues with Mark Williams and S1 Ep 9 Mark Williams part 2 on PND in Fathers.
                              25. LISTEN: Blue MumDays S1 Ep 18 Dr Andrew Mayers which discusses PND in dads.

                              If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

                              Follow us:

                              Instagram

                              Twitter

                              Join our Facebook Group

                              Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                               

                              NEXT EPISODE:

                              Next time I chat to Dr Orinayo Onabanjo, a chartered counselling psychologist with a passion for perinatal mental health. Orin's skills include helping mums cultivate stronger attachments with their babies and addressing the impact unresolved childhood trauma can have on the journey of motherhood. We chat everything from mum guilt to the racist inequalities faced by black and brown parents in the UK maternity system.


                              SUPPORT:

                              If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                              YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                              We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                               

                              Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                              Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                              Email: app@app-network.org

                              Tel: 020 3322 9900


                              ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association

                              National Resource Center (NRC)/ADHD Helpline Health Information Specialists

                              866-200-8098, Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. — 5 p.m. ET


                              ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD

                               

                              The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                              Call us - 0151 541 9020

                              Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                              AIMS for better birthing.

                              Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                              This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                              Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                              You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                              Andy's Man Club

                              A non-judgemental talking group for men

                              https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                              Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                              Association of Postnatal Illness

                              Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                              Email: info@apni.org

                              Live chat online facility

                               

                              Best Beginnings

                              Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                              evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                              and early stages of parenting.

                              App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                              24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                              Bi-Polar UK

                              email: info@bipolaruk.org


                              Birth Trauma Association

                              Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                               

                              CALM

                              Contact CALM

                              on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                               

                              Cedar House Support Group

                              Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                              Mobile: 07773 283556


                              Contact: for families with disabled children

                              Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.



                              Dad Matters

                              Support dads to have successful relationships with their families, with mental health and accessing services through peer support and signposting.

                              kierananders@homestarthost.org.uk

                              0161 344 0669


                              DadsNet 

                              Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                              Dope Black Dads

                              A digital safe space for fathers who wish to discuss their experiences of being black, a parent and masculinity in the modern world.

                              hello@dopeblack.org



                              Family Lives

                              An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                              Family Rights Group

                              Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                               

                              Fathers Reaching Out

                              https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                              Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                              FiveXMore

                              A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                              Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                              Gingerbread

                              Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                              The Hub of Hope

                              A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                              LGBT Mummies

                              Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                              Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                              Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                              Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                              Maternal OCD

                              Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                              arrange


                              Mayah's Legacy

                              Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                              Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                              0300 102 1596


                              The Motherhood Group

                              Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                              info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                               

                              Motivational Mums Club

                              Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                              motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                              Music Football Fatherhood

                              Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                              hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                              17fe27ab-1f3e-4051-9845-24186f62a1faMon, 28 Nov 2022 09:06:00 +010001:03:26falsefull2232232Vikki StephensonParenting With ADHD: CHRISTINE CUNNINGHAM of PERINATAL WELLBEING ONTARIOParenting With ADHD: CHRISTINE CUNNINGHAM of PERINATAL WELLBEING ONTARIOThis week I'm joined by the wonderful Christine Cunningham of Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario. Despite sailing through motherhood with her first two children, Christine went on to suffer postnatal depression and anxiety with the birth of her third. In this mega-episode, Christine talks about the shock diagnosis of finding out she had ADHD at the age of 40, when seeking a diagnosis for her son. Christine talks so eloquently about the huge impact this has had on her life and on her role as a mother. A must listen for anyone affected by ADHD.

                              *TRIGGER WARNING: Postnatal Depression, Anxiety, ADHD*

                              IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                              [00:44] Introducing Christine (including her podcast, 'Perinatal Wellbeing').

                              [02:44] Life before having children - looking back and realising that anxiety was already present in her life.

                              [03:41] Her oldest son's diagnosis of ADHD and the link back to her.

                              [04:19] Feeling 'chilled' during pregnancy, labour and delivery and the link between lower levels of oestrogen and ADHD.

                              [06:00] Having to coach the terrified resident doctor from ER during her first labour!

                              [07:52] Not doubting herself with her first two sons, but suffering from intense anxiety and guilt with her third.

                              [10:06] Experiencing the 'baby blues' with her first and how that differed from the postnatal depression she suffered with her third son

                              [12:15] The expectation that you 'know what to do' by the third pregnancy / struggles with breastfeeding.

                              [13:05] "I couldn't get my shit together" - developing a fear of leaving the house or being alone with her 3 kids.

                              [14:40] How this anxiety impacted on her relationship with her older children.

                              [15:17] Realising straight away that something felt 'off'. Excessive crying, excessive guilt and not being able to make a decision.

                              [19:16] The fear of going back 'to that place'.

                              [21:00] Feelings of grief about the experience we lost in early motherhood.

                              [23:35] Recovery isn't linear - the fear of 'slipping back'.

                              [24:51] The hell of PND/PPD and the feeling of clarity and gratitude Christine felt when she started to recover.

                              [27:16] The role of medication and hormones. Introducing the 'Fanny Club'!

                              [30:24] Davina - fitness videos and the menopause.

                              [31:24] The impact of hormones on symptoms of ADHD.

                              [32:04] Getting a diagnosis for her son.

                              [33:35] Biological males and biological females present differently with ADHD. The misconceptions and stereotypes of ADHD 'behaviour'.

                              [34:52] Looking back - how the diagnosis helped her make sense of her past, the feeling that she was always 'missing the mark'.

                              [36:34] ADHD does not mean you're not intelligent! The benefits of a neurodivergent mind.

                              [38:54] The lack of support for adults with ADHD.

                              [39:48] The link between ADHD and GAD (General Anxiety Disorder).

                              [40:46] Christine's initial bias against ADHD medication. The lack of support available when you don't take medication.

                              [43:02] How an anxiety programme helped with her son's feelings of anger and frustration.

                              [44:19] Vikki's brother's friend given Ritalin in the 1980s. Christine's concerns over medication.

                              [45:55] Christine's discovery that unmedicated ADHD is what can lead to addiction - not the medication itself.

                              [46:52] The stress of homeschooling during the Covid pandemic.

                              [49:15] The role of executive functioning and how it is impaired by ADHD.

                              [50:19] Finding the right medication - 'it's been lifechanging'.

                              [54:27] Mark Williams' late diagnosis of ADHD (see the 'Daddy Blues' episodes). The importance of validation.

                              [57:37] The intersection of ADHD and postpartum depression. The role of hormones.

                              [01:00:21] The 'fight or flight' panic of PND and postnatal anxiety. The role of the prefrontal cortex and impaired executive...]]>This week I'm joined by the wonderful Christine Cunningham of Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario. Despite sailing through motherhood with her first two children, Christine went on to suffer postnatal depression and anxiety with the birth of her third. In this mega-episode, Christine talks about the shock diagnosis of finding out she had ADHD at the age of 40, when seeking a diagnosis for her son. Christine talks so eloquently about the huge impact this has had on her life and on her role as a mother. A must listen for anyone affected by ADHD.

                              *TRIGGER WARNING: Postnatal Depression, Anxiety, ADHD*

                              IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                              [00:44] Introducing Christine (including her podcast, 'Perinatal Wellbeing').

                              [02:44] Life before having children - looking back and realising that anxiety was already present in her life.

                              [03:41] Her oldest son's diagnosis of ADHD and the link back to her.

                              [04:19] Feeling 'chilled' during pregnancy, labour and delivery and the link between lower levels of oestrogen and ADHD.

                              [06:00] Having to coach the terrified resident doctor from ER during her first labour!

                              [07:52] Not doubting herself with her first two sons, but suffering from intense anxiety and guilt with her third.

                              [10:06] Experiencing the 'baby blues' with her first and how that differed from the postnatal depression she suffered with her third son

                              [12:15] The expectation that you 'know what to do' by the third pregnancy / struggles with breastfeeding.

                              [13:05] "I couldn't get my shit together" - developing a fear of leaving the house or being alone with her 3 kids.

                              [14:40] How this anxiety impacted on her relationship with her older children.

                              [15:17] Realising straight away that something felt 'off'. Excessive crying, excessive guilt and not being able to make a decision.

                              [19:16] The fear of going back 'to that place'.

                              [21:00] Feelings of grief about the experience we lost in early motherhood.

                              [23:35] Recovery isn't linear - the fear of 'slipping back'.

                              [24:51] The hell of PND/PPD and the feeling of clarity and gratitude Christine felt when she started to recover.

                              [27:16] The role of medication and hormones. Introducing the 'Fanny Club'!

                              [30:24] Davina - fitness videos and the menopause.

                              [31:24] The impact of hormones on symptoms of ADHD.

                              [32:04] Getting a diagnosis for her son.

                              [33:35] Biological males and biological females present differently with ADHD. The misconceptions and stereotypes of ADHD 'behaviour'.

                              [34:52] Looking back - how the diagnosis helped her make sense of her past, the feeling that she was always 'missing the mark'.

                              [36:34] ADHD does not mean you're not intelligent! The benefits of a neurodivergent mind.

                              [38:54] The lack of support for adults with ADHD.

                              [39:48] The link between ADHD and GAD (General Anxiety Disorder).

                              [40:46] Christine's initial bias against ADHD medication. The lack of support available when you don't take medication.

                              [43:02] How an anxiety programme helped with her son's feelings of anger and frustration.

                              [44:19] Vikki's brother's friend given Ritalin in the 1980s. Christine's concerns over medication.

                              [45:55] Christine's discovery that unmedicated ADHD is what can lead to addiction - not the medication itself.

                              [46:52] The stress of homeschooling during the Covid pandemic.

                              [49:15] The role of executive functioning and how it is impaired by ADHD.

                              [50:19] Finding the right medication - 'it's been lifechanging'.

                              [54:27] Mark Williams' late diagnosis of ADHD (see the 'Daddy Blues' episodes). The importance of validation.

                              [57:37] The intersection of ADHD and postpartum depression. The role of hormones.

                              [01:00:21] The 'fight or flight' panic of PND and postnatal anxiety. The role of the prefrontal cortex and impaired executive functioning.

                              [01:05:07] Overwhelm.

                              [01:09:27] How to get hold of Christine.

                              [01:10:22] Recommended listen - how you can hear Christine's fantastic podcast, 'Perinatal Wellbeing'.

                              KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                              1. NHS information on ADHD
                              2. ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association
                              3. Additude Magazine - article on Executive Dysfunction in those with ADHD
                              4. ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD
                              5. The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity
                              6. Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario – Christine’s website
                              7. The Perinatal Wellbeing Podcast

                              If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

                              Follow us:

                              Instagram

                              Twitter

                              Join our Facebook Group

                              Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                               

                              NEXT EPISODE:

                              In a Movember male-mental-health special, I chat to Professor Viren Swami. Viren is Professor of Social Psychology at Anglia Ruskin University and is ranked in the top 2% of 'most-cited scientists' in the world. Viren's research is focused on the promotion of positive body image in diverse cultural groups, as well as mental health literacy and understandings of mental ill-health.

                              His work has moved on to include paternal postnatal depression following Viren's own struggles with fatherhood. He talks to me very candidly about the effects of suffering from PND after the birth of his son. Not to be missed.

                              SUPPORT:

                              If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                              YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                              We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                               

                              Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                              Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                              Email: app@app-network.org

                              Tel: 020 3322 9900


                              ADDA - the Attention Deficit Disorder Association

                              National Resource Center (NRC)/ADHD Helpline Health Information Specialists

                              866-200-8098, Monday-Friday, 1 p.m. — 5 p.m. ET


                              ADHD UK - peer support, created by people with ADHD for those with ADHD

                               

                              The ADHD Foundation - the neurodiversity charity

                              Call us - 0151 541 9020

                              Email - info@adhdfoundation.org.uk


                              AIMS for better birthing.

                              Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                              This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                              Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                              You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                              Andy's Man Club

                              A non-judgemental talking group for men

                              https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                              Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                              Association of Postnatal Illness

                              Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                              Email: info@apni.org

                              Live chat online facility

                               

                              Best Beginnings

                              Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                              evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                              and early stages of parenting.

                              App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                              24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                              Bi-Polar UK

                              email: info@bipolaruk.org


                              Birth Trauma Association

                              Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                               

                              CALM

                              Contact CALM

                              on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                               

                              Cedar House Support Group

                              Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                              Mobile: 07773 283556


                              Contact: for families with disabled children

                              Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.


                               

                              DadsNet 

                              Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                              Family Lives

                              An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                              Family Rights Group

                              Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                               

                              Fathers Reaching Out

                              https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                              Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                              FiveXMore

                              A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                              Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                              Gingerbread

                              Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                              The Hub of Hope

                              A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                              LGBT Mummies

                              Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                              Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                              Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                              Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                              Maternal OCD

                              Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                              arrange


                              Mayah's Legacy

                              Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                              Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                              0300 102 1596


                              The Motherhood Group

                              Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                              info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                               

                              Motivational Mums Club

                              Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                              motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                              Music Football Fatherhood

                              Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                              hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                              Muslim Women’s Network

                              Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                              4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                              and Bengali.

                              Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                              Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                              Text: 07415 206 936

                               

                              Netmums

                              Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                              Clinic.

                               

                              NHS

                              Contact your local GP surgery.

                              Call the NHS on 111

                              or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                              If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                               

                              PANDAS

                              Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                              Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                              Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario

                              PRENATAL, PREGNANCY AND POSTPARTUM SUPPORT & CONNECTION in Canada

                              info@perinatalwellbeing.ca

                               

                              Petals

                              Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                              or baby loss.

                              Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                              Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                              Tel: 0300 688 0068

                               

                              Samaritans

                              Tel: 116 123

                              (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                              Web: www.samaritans.org

                              Email: jo@samaritans.org

                               

                              Sands Charity

                              Emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby.

                              0808 164 3332

                              Email: helpline@sands.org.uk


                              Shout

                              Text SHOUT to...]]>ba719de8-47cd-4a9f-ad0d-fd6f352c5598Mon, 14 Nov 2022 00:15:00 +010001:12:26falsefull2222222Vikki StephensonPND: Your Most Asked Questions AnsweredPND: Your Most Asked Questions AnsweredSeason 2 launches with a Q&A with Liz Wise, specialist PND Counsellor and founder of the Cedar House Support Group.

                              I put your most asked questions to Liz in this special episode, from "How do I know it's PND?" to "How long will recovery take?"

                              Demystifying the illness and dispelling the myths, this episode is 'all you wanted to know about PND but were too afraid to ask'.

                              *TRIGGER WARNING: POSTNATAL DEPRESSION*

                              IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                              [00:00] BMDs intro

                              [00:17] Introduction to Liz Wise

                              [02:25] "How do I know it's PND?"

                              [03:31] "How does it differ from the Baby Blues?"

                              [04:10] "Will my baby be taken away from me?"

                              [05:16] "How common is PND?"

                              [07:05] "What are the risk factors for developing perinatal illness?"

                              [11:03] "Is postnatal depression like other forms of depression?"

                              [11:35] "How many years need to go by before it's no longer PND?"

                              [15:00] "Is it important to seek help?"

                              [16:40] "What about antidepressants?"

                              [20:41] "What support is available?"

                              [24:09] "What percentage of men suffer from it?"

                              [25:15] "What are the triggers of PND?"

                              [28:02] "How does PND affect your bond with your baby?"

                              [29:40] "Are there any positives to having PND?"

                              [30:53] "How long does it take to recover from PND?"

                              [33:20] "What percentage of women make a recovery?"

                              [33:31] "Is it possible for PND to come back, but only experience it with your first child?"


                              KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                              1. The 'Baby Blues' affects about 1 in 2 women and typically occurs between days 3 and 7 following the birth. It's a chemical change when the breastmilk comes in and the symptoms usually subside by day 14. If these feelings get worse or aren't going away, please speak to your GP to get support.
                              2. Your baby will not be taken away from you if you open up about how you are feeling - that's a myth.
                              3. Research shows that around 20% of women (1 in 5) are affected by PND and other perinatal mental health issues, but many more suffer in silence.
                              4. 1 in 10 fathers are officially affected by postnatal depression - there are likely to be many more who don't talk about it.
                              5. Risk factors can include: a previous history of depression, IVF and fertility treatment, women who have lost their mother pre-puberty (or have a distant or dysfunctional relationship with them), births of multiples and the lack of a supportive relationship.
                              6. Many women Liz has seen have had an unresolved issue or trauma from the past.
                              7. Members of the LGBTQ+ community can have increased susceptibility, due to the lack of support around them.
                              8. PND shares many symptoms with generalised depression and is defined as "a depressive episode after childbirth".
                              9. PND is typically a temporary episode that you completely recover from, with the right support. If it's not dealt with, it can continue, so the sooner you seek support the better. It's never too late to seek support for having PND or birth-related trauma from the past.
                              10. Reaching out for help is a strength, not a weakness. There is no shame in it and it's hugely important to get support as early as possible.
                              11. In Liz's 30 years of helping women with PND, she's found antidepressants really helpful with recovery. There are lots of different types of medication you can try - it's a myth they will change your personality, but they should make you feel like your old self again.
                              12. Support options can include counselling, therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, medication, homeopathy, accupuncture and peer support groups, like Cedar House. It can be a great comfort to be amongst others suffering and realise you are not alone.
                              13. The majority of women with PND and postnatal anxiety have 'hooks' over issues like breastfeeding, bonding, lack of sleep,...]]>Season 2 launches with a Q&A with Liz Wise, specialist PND Counsellor and founder of the Cedar House Support Group.

                                I put your most asked questions to Liz in this special episode, from "How do I know it's PND?" to "How long will recovery take?"

                                Demystifying the illness and dispelling the myths, this episode is 'all you wanted to know about PND but were too afraid to ask'.

                                *TRIGGER WARNING: POSTNATAL DEPRESSION*

                                IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                [00:00] BMDs intro

                                [00:17] Introduction to Liz Wise

                                [02:25] "How do I know it's PND?"

                                [03:31] "How does it differ from the Baby Blues?"

                                [04:10] "Will my baby be taken away from me?"

                                [05:16] "How common is PND?"

                                [07:05] "What are the risk factors for developing perinatal illness?"

                                [11:03] "Is postnatal depression like other forms of depression?"

                                [11:35] "How many years need to go by before it's no longer PND?"

                                [15:00] "Is it important to seek help?"

                                [16:40] "What about antidepressants?"

                                [20:41] "What support is available?"

                                [24:09] "What percentage of men suffer from it?"

                                [25:15] "What are the triggers of PND?"

                                [28:02] "How does PND affect your bond with your baby?"

                                [29:40] "Are there any positives to having PND?"

                                [30:53] "How long does it take to recover from PND?"

                                [33:20] "What percentage of women make a recovery?"

                                [33:31] "Is it possible for PND to come back, but only experience it with your first child?"


                                KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                1. The 'Baby Blues' affects about 1 in 2 women and typically occurs between days 3 and 7 following the birth. It's a chemical change when the breastmilk comes in and the symptoms usually subside by day 14. If these feelings get worse or aren't going away, please speak to your GP to get support.
                                2. Your baby will not be taken away from you if you open up about how you are feeling - that's a myth.
                                3. Research shows that around 20% of women (1 in 5) are affected by PND and other perinatal mental health issues, but many more suffer in silence.
                                4. 1 in 10 fathers are officially affected by postnatal depression - there are likely to be many more who don't talk about it.
                                5. Risk factors can include: a previous history of depression, IVF and fertility treatment, women who have lost their mother pre-puberty (or have a distant or dysfunctional relationship with them), births of multiples and the lack of a supportive relationship.
                                6. Many women Liz has seen have had an unresolved issue or trauma from the past.
                                7. Members of the LGBTQ+ community can have increased susceptibility, due to the lack of support around them.
                                8. PND shares many symptoms with generalised depression and is defined as "a depressive episode after childbirth".
                                9. PND is typically a temporary episode that you completely recover from, with the right support. If it's not dealt with, it can continue, so the sooner you seek support the better. It's never too late to seek support for having PND or birth-related trauma from the past.
                                10. Reaching out for help is a strength, not a weakness. There is no shame in it and it's hugely important to get support as early as possible.
                                11. In Liz's 30 years of helping women with PND, she's found antidepressants really helpful with recovery. There are lots of different types of medication you can try - it's a myth they will change your personality, but they should make you feel like your old self again.
                                12. Support options can include counselling, therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, medication, homeopathy, accupuncture and peer support groups, like Cedar House. It can be a great comfort to be amongst others suffering and realise you are not alone.
                                13. The majority of women with PND and postnatal anxiety have 'hooks' over issues like breastfeeding, bonding, lack of sleep, health issues, weaning and many others.
                                14. It's a myth that women with postnatal depression don't love their babies - the majority do not experience attachment issues. For those who do struggle to bond with their baby, those feelings will come through - be reassured that they always come.
                                15. Many people who have experienced PND would not be without the experience - they've found it has had a positive impact in their lives, especially with their children. It has taught them awareness of themselves, their mental health and emotions and has made them attentive to other people's emotions.
                                16. Recovery can't be predicted as everyone is different. However recovery can take time and it isn't linear. There will be lots of ups and downs.
                                17. When women get to about 70% recovery, it's common to follow a long period of feeling good with a dip. This is often related to premenstrual symptoms and doesn't mean you are 'going backwards'.
                                18. According to Liz, the recovery rate from PND is happily 100%.


                                If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. 

                                It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                Follow us:

                                Instagram

                                Twitter

                                Join our Facebook Group

                                Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                 

                                NEXT EPISODE:

                                Next time I'm joined by the wonderful Christine Cunningham of Perinatal Wellbeing Ontario. Despite sailing through motherhood with her first two children, Christine went on to suffer postnatal depression and anxiety with the birth of her third. She also talks about the discovery of her ADHD (a recent diagnosis) and the affect this has on her parenting.


                                SUPPORT:

                                If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                 

                                Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                Email: app@app-network.org

                                Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                 

                                AIMS for better birthing.

                                Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                                This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                                Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                                You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                                Andy's Man Club

                                A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                                Association of Postnatal Illness

                                Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                Email: info@apni.org

                                Live chat online facility

                                 

                                Best Beginnings

                                Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                and early stages of parenting.

                                App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                Bi-Polar UK

                                email: info@bipolaruk.org


                                Birth Trauma Association

                                Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                 

                                CALM

                                Contact CALM

                                on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                 

                                Cedar House Support Group

                                Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                Mobile: 07773 283556


                                Contact: for families with disabled children

                                Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.


                                 

                                DadsNet 

                                Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                Family Lives

                                An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                                Family Rights Group

                                Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                                 

                                Fathers Reaching Out

                                https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                FiveXMore

                                A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                                Email: fivexmore@gmail.com


                                Gingerbread

                                Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                                The Hub of Hope

                                A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                LGBT Mummies

                                Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                                Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                                Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                                Maternal OCD

                                Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                arrange


                                Mayah's Legacy

                                Supporting and empowering anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss to advocate for themselves.  

                                Email: info@bigoutreach.org

                                0300 102 1596


                                The Motherhood Group

                                Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                                info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                                 

                                Motivational Mums Club

                                Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                                motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                                Music Football Fatherhood

                                Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                                hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                                Muslim Women’s Network

                                Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                and Bengali.

                                Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                Text: 07415 206 936

                                 

                                Netmums

                                Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                Clinic.

                                 

                                NHS

                                Contact your local GP surgery.

                                Call the NHS on 111

                                or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                 

                                PANDAS

                                Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                 

                                Petals

                                Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                or baby loss.

                                Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                 

                                Samaritans

                                Tel: 116 123

                                (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                Web: www.samaritans.org

                                Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                 

                                Sands Charity

                                Emotional and practical support for anyone affected by the death of a baby.

                                0808 164 3332

                                Email: helpline@sands.org.uk


                                Shout

                                Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                 

                                Twins Trust

                                Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                 

                                Tommy’s

                                Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                Web: www.tommys.org

                                Helpline: Tommy’s

                                helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                 

                                MUSIC by f0ed000a-472a-48c8-b7d2-aefb06235ba0Mon, 31 Oct 2022 01:00:00 +010035:57falsefull2212212Vikki StephensonMaternal Mental Health Awareness Week Special: EVE CANAVAN Pt.2Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week Special: EVE CANAVAN Pt.2I chat to perinatal mental health blogger, peer supporter and charity campaigner Eve Canavan, BEM in this Blue MumDays special for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. Eve is a founding member of the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership and the lead co-ordinator for MMHAW - now in its 6th year and a global success.

                                In this follow up to her story (Episode 19), Eve tells me about the birth of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week and her very special collaboration with EastEnders and Mind, to inform Stacey's Postpartum Psychosis storyline.

                                (In Part 1, Eve talks very frankly about her lived experience of Postpartum Psychosis, 12 years ago after the birth of her son.)

                                *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTHING INJURIES, BIRTH TRAUMA & POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS*

                                Apologies for the sound quality on this episode - at times my microphone had interference, which I didn't realise at the time. I hope this doesn't spoil what was a fantastic conversation.


                                IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                [01:31] Introduction to Eve Canavan.

                                [02:26] The Perinatal Mental Health Partnership - setting up Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.

                                [07:53] This year's special MMHAW sessions include Postpartum Rage, Birth Injuries, Birth Trauma, Your Body Post Birth, Mum & Baby Yoga and Dad's With PTSD.

                                [14:26] Pelvic floor health - and the need to open up about birth injuries and incontinence.

                                [18:10] Where to find these special MMHAW resources.

                                [19:25] This year's theme: 'The Power of Connection' - the importance of peer support.

                                [20:07] The key fear against speaking out: "I don't want my baby to taken off me".

                                [21:23] Gender disappointment.

                                [27:32] Eve's involvement with the BBC's soap opera EastEnders, informing the character Stacey's storyline of Postpartum Psychosis.

                                [33:34] Advice for anyone concerned about Postpartum Psychosis - it's a psychiatric emergency.


                                KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                1. You can read Eve's blog here.
                                2. Perinatal Mental Health Partnership website.
                                3. Perinatal Mental Health Partnership FACEBOOK
                                4. PMHP INSTAGRAM
                                5. PMPH TWITTER
                                6. Dr. Caroline Boyd
                                7. Fit Fanny Adams - pelvic floor expert.
                                8. Dr Lindsay McMillan - expert on gender disappointment.
                                9. Action on Postpartum Psychosis.
                                10. EastEnders: Stacey's storyline with PPP
                                11. Mind - the mental health charity
                                12. Postpartum Psychosis is a...]]>I chat to perinatal mental health blogger, peer supporter and charity campaigner Eve Canavan, BEM in this Blue MumDays special for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. Eve is a founding member of the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership and the lead co-ordinator for MMHAW - now in its 6th year and a global success.

                                  In this follow up to her story (Episode 19), Eve tells me about the birth of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week and her very special collaboration with EastEnders and Mind, to inform Stacey's Postpartum Psychosis storyline.

                                  (In Part 1, Eve talks very frankly about her lived experience of Postpartum Psychosis, 12 years ago after the birth of her son.)

                                  *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTHING INJURIES, BIRTH TRAUMA & POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS*

                                  Apologies for the sound quality on this episode - at times my microphone had interference, which I didn't realise at the time. I hope this doesn't spoil what was a fantastic conversation.


                                  IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                  [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                  [01:31] Introduction to Eve Canavan.

                                  [02:26] The Perinatal Mental Health Partnership - setting up Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.

                                  [07:53] This year's special MMHAW sessions include Postpartum Rage, Birth Injuries, Birth Trauma, Your Body Post Birth, Mum & Baby Yoga and Dad's With PTSD.

                                  [14:26] Pelvic floor health - and the need to open up about birth injuries and incontinence.

                                  [18:10] Where to find these special MMHAW resources.

                                  [19:25] This year's theme: 'The Power of Connection' - the importance of peer support.

                                  [20:07] The key fear against speaking out: "I don't want my baby to taken off me".

                                  [21:23] Gender disappointment.

                                  [27:32] Eve's involvement with the BBC's soap opera EastEnders, informing the character Stacey's storyline of Postpartum Psychosis.

                                  [33:34] Advice for anyone concerned about Postpartum Psychosis - it's a psychiatric emergency.


                                  KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                  1. You can read Eve's blog here.
                                  2. Perinatal Mental Health Partnership website.
                                  3. Perinatal Mental Health Partnership FACEBOOK
                                  4. PMHP INSTAGRAM
                                  5. PMPH TWITTER
                                  6. Dr. Caroline Boyd
                                  7. Fit Fanny Adams - pelvic floor expert.
                                  8. Dr Lindsay McMillan - expert on gender disappointment.
                                  9. Action on Postpartum Psychosis.
                                  10. EastEnders: Stacey's storyline with PPP
                                  11. Mind - the mental health charity
                                  12. Postpartum Psychosis is a psychiatric emergency so don't be afraid to go straight to A&E if you are concerned.


                                  If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                  Follow us:

                                  Instagram

                                  Twitter

                                  Join our Facebook Group

                                  Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                   

                                  SEASON 2 *COMING SOON*

                                  We are taking a very short break, but have a fantastic Season 2 lined up - we can't wait to share it with you very soon - watch this space!


                                  SUPPORT:

                                  If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                  YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                  We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).


                                  Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                  Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                  Email: app@app-network.org

                                  Tel: 020 3322 9900


                                  AIMS for better birthing.

                                  Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                                  This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                                  Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                                  You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                                  Andy's Man Club

                                  A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                  https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                  Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                                  Association of Postnatal Illness

                                  Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                  Email: info@apni.org

                                  Live chat online facility


                                  Best Beginnings

                                  Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                  evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                  and early stages of parenting.

                                  App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                  24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                  Bi-Polar UK

                                  email: info@bipolaruk.org


                                  Birth Trauma Association

                                  Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                                  CALM

                                  Contact CALM

                                  on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)


                                  Cedar House Support Group

                                  Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                  Mobile: 07773 283556


                                  Contact: for families with disabled children

                                  Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.


                                   

                                  DadsNet 

                                  Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                  Family Lives

                                  An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                                  Family Rights Group

                                  Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                                   

                                  Fathers Reaching Out

                                  https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                  Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                  FiveXMore

                                  A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                                  fivexmore@gmail.com


                                  Gingerbread

                                  Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                                  The Hub of Hope

                                  A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                  LGBT Mummies

                                  Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                                  Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                                  Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                  Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org


                                  Maternal OCD

                                  Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                  arrange


                                  Mayah's Legacy

                                  Supporting parents who have experienced pregnancy loss.

                                  info@bigoutreach.org


                                  The Motherhood Group

                                  Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                                  info@themotherhoodgroup.com


                                  Motivational Mums Club

                                  Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                                  motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                                  Music Football Fatherhood

                                  Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                                  hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                                  Muslim Women’s Network

                                  Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                  4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                  and Bengali.

                                  Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                  Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                  Text: 07415 206 936


                                  Netmums

                                  Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                  Clinic.

                                   

                                  NHS

                                  Contact your local GP surgery.

                                  Call the NHS on 111

                                  or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                  If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.


                                  PANDAS

                                  Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                  Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                                  Petals

                                  Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss.

                                  Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                  Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                  Tel: 0300 688 0068


                                  Samaritans

                                  Tel: 116 123

                                  (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                  Web: www.samaritans.org

                                  Email: jo@samaritans.org


                                  Shout

                                  Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                   

                                  Twins Trust

                                  Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                  the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                  Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                  alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                  Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                   

                                  Tommy’s

                                  Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                  Web: www.tommys.org

                                  Helpline: Tommy’s

                                  helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                  via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                  Email: midwife@tommys.org


                                  MUSIC by Joseph McDade


                                  ]]>                                  ba25e0a5-3e5f-4384-aeec-d9d14d4a1d7eMon, 02 May 2022 00:15:00 +010038:10falsebonus1201201Vikki StephensonFrightened of My Baby: EVE CANAVAN (MMHAW Special Pt.1)Frightened of My Baby: EVE CANAVAN (MMHAW Special Pt.1)I chat to perinatal mental health blogger, peer supporter and charity campaigner Eve Canavan, BEM in this Blue MumDays special for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. Eve is a founding member of the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership and the lead co-ordinator for MMHAW - now in its 6th year and a global success. In this fantastic and super honest chat, Eve tells me about her lived experience of postpartum psychosis, 12 years ago after the birth of her son.

                                  (In Part 2, she discusses the birth of MMHAW and how she collaborated with EastEnders to deliver Stacey's PPP storyline.)

                                  *TRIGGER WARNING: POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS, brief mention of MISCARRIAGE*

                                  

                                  IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                  [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                  [01:40] Introduction to Eve Canavan.

                                  [05:31] Life before motherhood.

                                  [10:20] Why it's important for women to own their own experiences.

                                  [13:00] Suffering incontinence after giving birth.

                                  [14:07] Bleeding after birth - 'lochia'.

                                  [17:51] Speaking out about perinatal illness - sharing your story.

                                  [25:11] Eve's birth experience.

                                  [27:10] The first signs that things weren't right.

                                  [32:24] Leaving hospital - early signs of postpartum psychosis.

                                  [34:41] Realising she was frightened of her baby - feeling trapped.

                                  [37:15] Escalating psychosis.

                                  [40:07] Being fobbed off

                                  [43:11] Finally seeing a psychiatrist - being admitted to a Mother & Baby Unit.

                                  [45:15] Given medication to help and exposure therapy.

                                  [50:25] Getting better - Home-Start, complex PTSD and EMDR therapy.

                                  [51:15] Wanting to tell her story - choosing what to share.

                                  [54:31] The difference between the baby blues, PND and postpartum psychosis.

                                  [57:03] Postpartum psychosis is a psychiatric emergency.


                                  KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                  1. Peer support can be a tremendous help - just knowing you are not alone and getting some hope of recovery. Try and find support groups in your local area (Facebook is normally helpful for this).
                                  2. Information on double wombs can be found on this link.
                                  3. You can read Eve's blog here.
                                  4. Perinatal Mental Health Partnership
                                  5. Action on Postpartum Psychosis.
                                  6. Don't be afraid to tell your GP or health visitor about how you're really thinking or feeling - it may feel frightening, but it's really crucial for getting the support you need.
                                  7. Home-Start - local support for families.
                                  8. EastEnders: Stacey's storyline
                                  9. Mind - the mental health charity's information on postpartum psychosis


                                  If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                  Follow us:

                                  I chat to perinatal mental health blogger, peer supporter and charity campaigner Eve Canavan, BEM in this Blue MumDays special for Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. Eve is a founding member of the Perinatal Mental Health Partnership and the lead co-ordinator for MMHAW - now in its 6th year and a global success. In this fantastic and super honest chat, Eve tells me about her lived experience of postpartum psychosis, 12 years ago after the birth of her son.

                                  (In Part 2, she discusses the birth of MMHAW and how she collaborated with EastEnders to deliver Stacey's PPP storyline.)

                                  *TRIGGER WARNING: POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS, brief mention of MISCARRIAGE*

                                  

                                  IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                  [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                  [01:40] Introduction to Eve Canavan.

                                  [05:31] Life before motherhood.

                                  [10:20] Why it's important for women to own their own experiences.

                                  [13:00] Suffering incontinence after giving birth.

                                  [14:07] Bleeding after birth - 'lochia'.

                                  [17:51] Speaking out about perinatal illness - sharing your story.

                                  [25:11] Eve's birth experience.

                                  [27:10] The first signs that things weren't right.

                                  [32:24] Leaving hospital - early signs of postpartum psychosis.

                                  [34:41] Realising she was frightened of her baby - feeling trapped.

                                  [37:15] Escalating psychosis.

                                  [40:07] Being fobbed off

                                  [43:11] Finally seeing a psychiatrist - being admitted to a Mother & Baby Unit.

                                  [45:15] Given medication to help and exposure therapy.

                                  [50:25] Getting better - Home-Start, complex PTSD and EMDR therapy.

                                  [51:15] Wanting to tell her story - choosing what to share.

                                  [54:31] The difference between the baby blues, PND and postpartum psychosis.

                                  [57:03] Postpartum psychosis is a psychiatric emergency.


                                  KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                  1. Peer support can be a tremendous help - just knowing you are not alone and getting some hope of recovery. Try and find support groups in your local area (Facebook is normally helpful for this).
                                  2. Information on double wombs can be found on this link.
                                  3. You can read Eve's blog here.
                                  4. Perinatal Mental Health Partnership
                                  5. Action on Postpartum Psychosis.
                                  6. Don't be afraid to tell your GP or health visitor about how you're really thinking or feeling - it may feel frightening, but it's really crucial for getting the support you need.
                                  7. Home-Start - local support for families.
                                  8. EastEnders: Stacey's storyline
                                  9. Mind - the mental health charity's information on postpartum psychosis


                                  If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                  Follow us:

                                  Instagram

                                  Twitter

                                  Join our Facebook Group

                                  Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                   

                                  SEASON 2 *COMING SOON*

                                  We are taking a very short break, but have a fantastic Season 2 lined up - we can't wait to share it with you very soon - watch this space!


                                  SUPPORT:

                                  If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                  YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                  We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                   

                                  Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                  Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                  Email: app@app-network.org

                                  Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                   

                                  AIMS for better birthing.

                                  Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                                  This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                                  Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                                  You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                                  Andy's Man Club

                                  A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                  https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                  Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk


                                  Association of Postnatal Illness

                                  Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                  Email: info@apni.org

                                  Live chat online facility

                                   

                                  Best Beginnings

                                  Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                  evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                  and early stages of parenting.

                                  App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                  24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                  Bi-Polar UK

                                  email: info@bipolaruk.org


                                  Birth Trauma Association

                                  Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                   

                                  CALM

                                  Contact CALM

                                  on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                   

                                  Cedar House Support Group

                                  Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                  Mobile: 07773 283556


                                  Contact: for families with disabled children

                                  Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.


                                   

                                  DadsNet 

                                  Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                  Family Lives

                                  An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                                  Family Rights Group

                                  Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                                   

                                  Fathers Reaching Out

                                  https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                  Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                  FiveXMore

                                  A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                                  fivexmore@gmail.com


                                  Gingerbread

                                  Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                                  The Hub of Hope

                                  A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                  LGBT Mummies

                                  Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                                  Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                                  Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                  Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                   

                                  Maternal OCD

                                  Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                  arrange


                                  The Motherhood Group

                                  Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                                  info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                                   

                                  Motivational Mums Club

                                  Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                                  motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                                  Music Football Fatherhood

                                  Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                                  hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                                  Muslim Women’s Network

                                  Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                  4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                  and Bengali.

                                  Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                  Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                  Text: 07415 206 936

                                   

                                  Netmums

                                  Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                  Clinic.

                                   

                                  NHS

                                  Contact your local GP surgery.

                                  Call the NHS on 111

                                  or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                  If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                   

                                  PANDAS

                                  Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                  Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                   

                                  Petals

                                  Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                  or baby loss.

                                  Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                  Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                  Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                   

                                  Samaritans

                                  Tel: 116 123

                                  (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                  Web: www.samaritans.org

                                  Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                   

                                  Shout

                                  Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                   

                                  Twins Trust

                                  Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                  the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                  Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                  alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                  Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                   

                                  Tommy’s

                                  Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                  Web: www.tommys.org

                                  Helpline: Tommy’s

                                  helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                  via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                  Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                   

                                  MUSIC by Joseph McDade


                                  ]]>65b418d3-e765-44c2-b508-ebbd9eb34d2dMon, 02 May 2022 00:15:00 +010001:03:15falsebonus1191191Vikki Stephenson                                  Bonding, Guilt & Psychosis - An Expert View: DR. ANDREW MAYERSBonding, Guilt & Psychosis - An Expert View: DR. ANDREW MAYERSDr Andrew Mayers joins me for the final episode of Season 1. He's an academic psychologist specialising in - and campaigning for - better maternal and paternal mental health. We discuss MBUs, bonding issues suffered by some parents with perinatal illness, mum guilt, postpartum psychosis and the impact sleep deprivation has on mental health issues. We also cover the mental health of fathers and inequalities suffered by black and ethnic minority mums and LGBTQ+ parents within the perinatal health system.

                                  *TRIGGER WARNING: BONDING ISSUES/BIRTH TRAUMA/POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS*

                                  IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                  [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                  [01:27] Introduction to Dr Andrew Mayers and his work.

                                  [05:14] Mother & Baby Units - what they do.

                                  [07:54] The '1001 Critical Days' of a child's development - from pregnancy till age 2.

                                  [11:57] Bonding issues - not the mum's fault.

                                  [16:14] What perinatal illnesses do to the parent.

                                  [17:45] The supposed 'rush of love'/baby blues - the role of hormones after birth.

                                  [19:20] The difference between 'normal' depression and postnatal depression.

                                  [20:55] The role of grief or loss within PND. Traumatic births.

                                  [23:24] Managing expectations vs. reality during pregnancy.

                                  [25:15] Postpartum Psychosis.

                                  [28:23] Maternal OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

                                  [30:23] Advice for families and friends - how they can help.

                                  [34:49] The massive link between sleep deprivation and mental health.

                                  [36:15] Advice for parents who are sleep deprived.

                                  [37:39] Fathers can get postnatal depression too.

                                  [43:23] Looking ahead - what Andy wants to see happen.

                                  [45:48] Different types of family - we need to be more inclusive for same sex and trans parents.

                                  [48:05] Inequalities experienced by black and ethnic minority parents within the perinatal health system.

                                  [50:14] Advice for anyone worried about a loved one or suffering themselves and worried about seeking help.


                                  KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                  1. andrewmayers.uk - further information on Andy and his work.
                                  2. '1001 Critical Days' report - The first 1001 days include pregnancy and the first two years of a child's life. There is clear, compelling evidence that this is a significant and influential phase in development. This is an age of opportunity. What happens during this period lays the foundation for every child’s future health, wellbeing, learning and earnings potential. It sets the groundwork for children’s developing emotional wellbeing, resilience and adaptability; the competencies they need to thrive.
                                  3. DorPiP - Support for families in Dorset. Andy is a trustee.
                                  4. Blue MumDays Ep 1: Liz Wise (bonding) - a reassuring listen for any parents who struggle to bond with their baby. We chat to both Liz and her adult daughter Emma, who Liz struggled to bond with when she was a baby.
                                  5. When Birth Leads To Trauma - Episode dedicated to understanding Birth Trauma with Dr. Rebecca Moore.
                                  6. Action on Postpartum Psychosis - Action on Postpartum Psychosis is the national charity for women and families affected by postpartum psychosis (PP).
                                  7. Dr Andrew Mayers joins me for the final episode of Season 1. He's an academic psychologist specialising in - and campaigning for - better maternal and paternal mental health. We discuss MBUs, bonding issues suffered by some parents with perinatal illness, mum guilt, postpartum psychosis and the impact sleep deprivation has on mental health issues. We also cover the mental health of fathers and inequalities suffered by black and ethnic minority mums and LGBTQ+ parents within the perinatal health system.

                                    *TRIGGER WARNING: BONDING ISSUES/BIRTH TRAUMA/POSTPARTUM PSYCHOSIS*

                                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                    [01:27] Introduction to Dr Andrew Mayers and his work.

                                    [05:14] Mother & Baby Units - what they do.

                                    [07:54] The '1001 Critical Days' of a child's development - from pregnancy till age 2.

                                    [11:57] Bonding issues - not the mum's fault.

                                    [16:14] What perinatal illnesses do to the parent.

                                    [17:45] The supposed 'rush of love'/baby blues - the role of hormones after birth.

                                    [19:20] The difference between 'normal' depression and postnatal depression.

                                    [20:55] The role of grief or loss within PND. Traumatic births.

                                    [23:24] Managing expectations vs. reality during pregnancy.

                                    [25:15] Postpartum Psychosis.

                                    [28:23] Maternal OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

                                    [30:23] Advice for families and friends - how they can help.

                                    [34:49] The massive link between sleep deprivation and mental health.

                                    [36:15] Advice for parents who are sleep deprived.

                                    [37:39] Fathers can get postnatal depression too.

                                    [43:23] Looking ahead - what Andy wants to see happen.

                                    [45:48] Different types of family - we need to be more inclusive for same sex and trans parents.

                                    [48:05] Inequalities experienced by black and ethnic minority parents within the perinatal health system.

                                    [50:14] Advice for anyone worried about a loved one or suffering themselves and worried about seeking help.


                                    KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                    1. andrewmayers.uk - further information on Andy and his work.
                                    2. '1001 Critical Days' report - The first 1001 days include pregnancy and the first two years of a child's life. There is clear, compelling evidence that this is a significant and influential phase in development. This is an age of opportunity. What happens during this period lays the foundation for every child’s future health, wellbeing, learning and earnings potential. It sets the groundwork for children’s developing emotional wellbeing, resilience and adaptability; the competencies they need to thrive.
                                    3. DorPiP - Support for families in Dorset. Andy is a trustee.
                                    4. Blue MumDays Ep 1: Liz Wise (bonding) - a reassuring listen for any parents who struggle to bond with their baby. We chat to both Liz and her adult daughter Emma, who Liz struggled to bond with when she was a baby.
                                    5. When Birth Leads To Trauma - Episode dedicated to understanding Birth Trauma with Dr. Rebecca Moore.
                                    6. Action on Postpartum Psychosis - Action on Postpartum Psychosis is the national charity for women and families affected by postpartum psychosis (PP).
                                    7. Maternal OCD charity - ‘OCD is a significant but a treatable problem. However, lack of knowledge amongst women experiencing perinatal OCD and the professionals they encounter has sometimes been a huge barrier to accessing treatment. Maternal OCD play a key role in helping women and healthcare professionals gain a better understanding of this disorder and how to identify and treat it’ - Dr. Fiona Challacombe
                                    8. ZombieMum podcast - Laura Dockrill's incredible podcast on postpartum psychosis and PND.
                                    9. Loving Kindness Meditation - our special 15 minute bonus episode to help you relax, rest and reset. You don't need to meditate - just close your eyes and listen for a moment of calm to yourself.
                                    10. 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 1 / 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 2 - Mark is a pioneer for father's mental health, following his own experience of PND.
                                    11. Elliott Rae's episode on vicarious birth trauma - from a dad's perspective.
                                    12. FiveXMore is a grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Also Motivational Mums Club and The Motherhood Group.
                                    13. Christina Brown's episode on the experience of black mums
                                    14. The Doula Episode with AJ Silver of The Queer Birth Club.


                                    If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

                                    Follow us:

                                    Instagram

                                    Twitter

                                    Join our Facebook Group

                                    Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                     

                                    SEASON 2 *COMING SOON*

                                    We are taking a very short break, but have a fantastic Season 2 lined up - we can't wait to share it with you very soon - watch this space!


                                    SUPPORT:

                                    If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                    YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                    We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                     

                                    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                    Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                    Email: app@app-network.org

                                    Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                     

                                    AIMS for better birthing.

                                    Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                                    This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                                    Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                                    You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.

                                    Andy's Man Club

                                    A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                    https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                    Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                    Association of Postnatal Illness

                                    Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                    Email: info@apni.org

                                    Live chat online facility

                                     

                                    Best Beginnings

                                    Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                    evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                    and early stages of parenting.

                                    App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                    24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

                                    Bi-Polar UK

                                    email: info@bipolaruk.org

                                    Birth Trauma Association

                                    Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                     

                                    CALM

                                    Contact CALM

                                    on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                     

                                    Cedar House Support Group

                                    Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                    Mobile: 07773 283556


                                    Contact: for families with disabled children

                                    Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.


                                     

                                    DadsNet 

                                    Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                    Family Lives

                                    An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                                    Family Rights Group

                                    Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                                     

                                    Fathers Reaching Out

                                    https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                    Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                    FiveXMore

                                    A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                                    fivexmore@gmail.com


                                    Gingerbread

                                    Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                                    The Hub of Hope

                                    A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                    LGBT Mummies

                                    Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                                    Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                                    Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                    Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                     

                                    Maternal OCD

                                    Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                    arrange


                                    The Motherhood Group

                                    Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                                    info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                                     

                                    Motivational Mums Club

                                    Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.

                                    motivationalmumsclub@gmail.com


                                    Music Football Fatherhood

                                    Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                                    hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                                    Muslim Women’s Network

                                    Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                    4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                    and Bengali.

                                    Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                    Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                    Text: 07415 206 936

                                     

                                    Netmums

                                    Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                    Clinic.

                                     

                                    NHS

                                    Contact your local GP surgery.

                                    Call the NHS on 111

                                    or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                    If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                     

                                    PANDAS

                                    Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                    Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                     

                                    Petals

                                    Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                    or baby loss.

                                    Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                    Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                    Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                     

                                    Samaritans

                                    Tel: 116 123

                                    (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                    Web: www.samaritans.org

                                    Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                     

                                    Shout

                                    Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                     

                                    Twins Trust

                                    Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                    the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                    Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                    alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                    Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                     

                                    Tommy’s

                                    Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                    Web: www.tommys.org

                                    Helpline: Tommy’s

                                    helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                    via email, Facebook, 216b8887-f589-4104-ac88-25341041681cMon, 18 Apr 2022 10:55:00 +010053:24falsefull1181181Vikki StephensonWhen Birth Leads To Trauma: DR. REBECCA MOOREWhen Birth Leads To Trauma: DR. REBECCA MOOREDr Rebecca Moore joins me for a Blue MumDays special discussing birth trauma. Rebecca is a perinatal psychiatrist, mother and co-founder of 'Make Birth Better', a collective of experts who offer support and training and campaign for better understanding of birth trauma and vicarious trauma.

                                    *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA*

                                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                    [01:29] Introduction to Dr Rebecca Moore.

                                    [04:37] Definition of birth trauma.

                                    [10:17] The inequality of care and discrimination faced by black and ethnic minority mums - this needs to change.

                                    [12:49] The importance of validation and advocacy during your birth.

                                    [17:54] Partners can be affected by birth trauma too.

                                    [18:20] Birth debriefs - first port of call after trauma.

                                    [21:30] Sources of support - including PANDAs, AIMS and Make Birth Better.

                                    [25:43] Doulas (see Episode 16 with Doula AJ Silver).

                                    [26:09] Rebecca's own birth experiences - feeling alone in her first labour.

                                    [32:03] Parents considering another pregnancy after a traumatic birth.

                                    [36:27] You should have choices in the positions you birth in.


                                    KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                    1. Trauma is a completely unique, subjective experience. Birth trauma is your experience of your birth, irrespective of whether you or your baby were in actual danger.
                                    2. Birth trauma is largely about interpersonal factors - being left alone, dismissed, being subjected to racism, lack of consent or lack of compassion.
                                    3. Birth by nature is unpredictable. Try and have conversations beforehand about the support you may need during birth, but trust your instincts and accept that things may change during the course of the birth.
                                    4. FiveXMore is a grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Also Motivational Mums Club and The Motherhood Group.
                                    5. Christina Brown's episode on the experience of black mums
                                    6. 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 1 / 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 2
                                    7. Elliott Rae's episode on vicarious birth trauma
                                    8. The Doula Episode with AJ Silver.
                                    9. AIMS for better birthing.
                                    10. Make Birth Better - Rebecca's organisation for supporting parents and healthcare professionals suffering from birth trauma or vicarious trauma.
                                    11. City Birth Trauma Scale


                                    If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in...]]>Dr Rebecca Moore joins me for a Blue MumDays special discussing birth trauma. Rebecca is a perinatal psychiatrist, mother and co-founder of 'Make Birth Better', a collective of experts who offer support and training and campaign for better understanding of birth trauma and vicarious trauma.

                                    *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA*

                                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                    [01:29] Introduction to Dr Rebecca Moore.

                                    [04:37] Definition of birth trauma.

                                    [10:17] The inequality of care and discrimination faced by black and ethnic minority mums - this needs to change.

                                    [12:49] The importance of validation and advocacy during your birth.

                                    [17:54] Partners can be affected by birth trauma too.

                                    [18:20] Birth debriefs - first port of call after trauma.

                                    [21:30] Sources of support - including PANDAs, AIMS and Make Birth Better.

                                    [25:43] Doulas (see Episode 16 with Doula AJ Silver).

                                    [26:09] Rebecca's own birth experiences - feeling alone in her first labour.

                                    [32:03] Parents considering another pregnancy after a traumatic birth.

                                    [36:27] You should have choices in the positions you birth in.


                                    KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                    1. Trauma is a completely unique, subjective experience. Birth trauma is your experience of your birth, irrespective of whether you or your baby were in actual danger.
                                    2. Birth trauma is largely about interpersonal factors - being left alone, dismissed, being subjected to racism, lack of consent or lack of compassion.
                                    3. Birth by nature is unpredictable. Try and have conversations beforehand about the support you may need during birth, but trust your instincts and accept that things may change during the course of the birth.
                                    4. FiveXMore is a grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK. Also Motivational Mums Club and The Motherhood Group.
                                    5. Christina Brown's episode on the experience of black mums
                                    6. 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 1 / 'Daddy Blues' episode: Mark Williams pt 2
                                    7. Elliott Rae's episode on vicarious birth trauma
                                    8. The Doula Episode with AJ Silver.
                                    9. AIMS for better birthing.
                                    10. Make Birth Better - Rebecca's organisation for supporting parents and healthcare professionals suffering from birth trauma or vicarious trauma.
                                    11. City Birth Trauma Scale


                                    If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                    Follow us:

                                    Instagram

                                    Twitter

                                    Join our Facebook Group

                                    Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                     

                                    NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                    In Episode 18 I chat to academic psychologist Dr Andrew Mayers, who specialises in and campaigns around maternal and paternal mental health.


                                    SUPPORT:

                                    If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                    YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                    We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                     

                                    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                    Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                    Email: app@app-network.org

                                    Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                     

                                    AIMS for better birthing.

                                    Email: helpline@aims.org.uk

                                    This email will go to a group of AIMS volunteers and someone will respond as soon as possible.

                                    Telephone: +44 (0) 300 365 0663

                                    You will be able to leave a voicemail message which will be sent to all our Helpline Volunteers. Please include your name, phone number and brief details of your enquiry. A Volunteer will try to call you back as soon as possible.


                                    Andy's Man Club

                                    A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                    https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                    Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                    Association of Postnatal Illness

                                    Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                    Email: info@apni.org

                                    Live chat online facility

                                     

                                    Best Beginnings

                                    Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                    evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                    and early stages of parenting.

                                    App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                    24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                    Bi-Polar UK

                                    email: info@bipolaruk.org


                                    Birth Trauma Association

                                    Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                     

                                    CALM

                                    Contact CALM

                                    on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                     

                                    Cedar House Support Group

                                    Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                    Mobile: 07773 283556


                                    Contact: for families with disabled children

                                    Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.


                                     

                                    DadsNet 

                                    Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                    Family Lives

                                    An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                                    Family Rights Group

                                    Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                                     

                                    Fathers Reaching Out

                                    https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                    Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                    FiveXMore

                                    A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                                    fivexmore@gmail.com


                                    Gingerbread

                                    Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                                    The Hub of Hope

                                    A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                    LGBT Mummies

                                    Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                                    Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                                    Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                    Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                     

                                    Maternal OCD

                                    Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                    arrange


                                    The Motherhood Group

                                    Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                                    info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                                     

                                    Motivational Mums Club

                                    Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.


                                    Music Football Fatherhood

                                    Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                                    hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                                    Muslim Women’s Network

                                    Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                    4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                    and Bengali.

                                    Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                    Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                    Text: 07415 206 936

                                     

                                    Netmums

                                    Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                    Clinic.

                                     

                                    NHS

                                    Contact your local GP surgery.

                                    Call the NHS on 111

                                    or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                    If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                     

                                    PANDAS

                                    Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                    Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                     

                                    Petals

                                    Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                    or baby loss.

                                    Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                    Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                    Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                     

                                    Samaritans

                                    Tel: 116 123

                                    (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                    Web: www.samaritans.org

                                    Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                     

                                    Shout

                                    Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                     

                                    Twins Trust

                                    Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                    the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                    Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                    alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                    Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                     

                                    Tommy’s

                                    Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                    Web: www.tommys.org

                                    Helpline: Tommy’s

                                    helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                    via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                    Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                     

                                    MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                    ]]>                                    8605ed69-d444-4f05-80aa-f4784826a575Mon, 11 Apr 2022 00:15:00 +010043:32falsefull1717Vikki StephensonThe Doula's Story: AJ SILVER of QUEER BIRTH CLUBThe Doula's Story: AJ SILVER of QUEER BIRTH CLUBThe delightful AJ Silver joins me this week for an entertaining and very moving chat about their traumatic first birth experience, which led them to go on to train and work as a Doula. We discuss everything from the difficulties faced by same sex couples within the perinatal system, to the warmth of our pets tummies and killer flapjacks!

                                    *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA*

                                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                    [01:35] Introduction to AJ Silver of Queer Birth Club.

                                    [05:44] What a Doula actually does.

                                    [08:55] The important of advocacy for parents.

                                    [10:07] The birth outcomes of people using a Doula.

                                    [11:16] How doulas are generally regarded by the medical profession.

                                    [13:46] AJ's own experience of giving birth.

                                    [14:43] Their first birth - lots of intervention and feeling like a passenger.

                                    [16:20] Deciding to become a Doula following a much happier second birth.

                                    [19:07] Judgement - for being gay and being fat. BMI being used as a cut off for gallstone treatment.

                                    [23:55] The difficulties faced by same sex couples in the perinatal system.

                                    [33:54] How many in the LGBT+ community are at increased risk of experiencing negative perinatal health outcomes or difficulties, especially Trans or non-binary parents.

                                    [37:18] Lesbian couples registering births is increasing year on year by 15-20%, over the last 10 years.

                                    [38:56] Across the world, more and more people are coming out every year. Nearly half of 18-24 year olds in 2015 didn't consider themselves to be entirely heterosexual.

                                    [47:00] AJ's early days with their first daughter - "I felt like my body didn't work". Chest-feeding difficulties.

                                    [50:03] How the Doula training helped AJ come to terms with what happened with their first birth.

                                    [55:19] AJ's guide to killer porridge and flapjacks with grated apple!

                                    KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                    1. Doulas support in pregnancy, birth and in the postnatal period by providing information, advocacy, and offering practical and emotional support to the whole family.
                                    2. Doula UK
                                    3. Same sex couples often face discrimination within the medical system, especially in terms of IVF and fertility.
                                    4. LGBT Mummies
                                    5. There are barriers faced by non-gestational mums in terms of accessing parental services.
                                    6. The Queer Birth Club - how to get hold of AJ.


                                    If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                    Follow us:

                                    Instagram

                                    Twitter

                                    Join our Facebook Group

                                    Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                     

                                    NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                    In Episode 17, Dr Rebecca Moore joins me for a Blue MumDays special discussing birth trauma. Rebecca is a perinatal psychiatrist, mother and co-founder of 'Make Birth Better', a collective of experts who offer support, training and campaign around birth trauma and vicarious trauma. One not to miss.


                                    SUPPORT:

                                    If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                    YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY...]]>The delightful AJ Silver joins me this week for an entertaining and very moving chat about their traumatic first birth experience, which led them to go on to train and work as a Doula. We discuss everything from the difficulties faced by same sex couples within the perinatal system, to the warmth of our pets tummies and killer flapjacks!

                                    *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA*

                                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                    [01:35] Introduction to AJ Silver of Queer Birth Club.

                                    [05:44] What a Doula actually does.

                                    [08:55] The important of advocacy for parents.

                                    [10:07] The birth outcomes of people using a Doula.

                                    [11:16] How doulas are generally regarded by the medical profession.

                                    [13:46] AJ's own experience of giving birth.

                                    [14:43] Their first birth - lots of intervention and feeling like a passenger.

                                    [16:20] Deciding to become a Doula following a much happier second birth.

                                    [19:07] Judgement - for being gay and being fat. BMI being used as a cut off for gallstone treatment.

                                    [23:55] The difficulties faced by same sex couples in the perinatal system.

                                    [33:54] How many in the LGBT+ community are at increased risk of experiencing negative perinatal health outcomes or difficulties, especially Trans or non-binary parents.

                                    [37:18] Lesbian couples registering births is increasing year on year by 15-20%, over the last 10 years.

                                    [38:56] Across the world, more and more people are coming out every year. Nearly half of 18-24 year olds in 2015 didn't consider themselves to be entirely heterosexual.

                                    [47:00] AJ's early days with their first daughter - "I felt like my body didn't work". Chest-feeding difficulties.

                                    [50:03] How the Doula training helped AJ come to terms with what happened with their first birth.

                                    [55:19] AJ's guide to killer porridge and flapjacks with grated apple!

                                    KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                    1. Doulas support in pregnancy, birth and in the postnatal period by providing information, advocacy, and offering practical and emotional support to the whole family.
                                    2. Doula UK
                                    3. Same sex couples often face discrimination within the medical system, especially in terms of IVF and fertility.
                                    4. LGBT Mummies
                                    5. There are barriers faced by non-gestational mums in terms of accessing parental services.
                                    6. The Queer Birth Club - how to get hold of AJ.


                                    If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                    Follow us:

                                    Instagram

                                    Twitter

                                    Join our Facebook Group

                                    Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                     

                                    NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                    In Episode 17, Dr Rebecca Moore joins me for a Blue MumDays special discussing birth trauma. Rebecca is a perinatal psychiatrist, mother and co-founder of 'Make Birth Better', a collective of experts who offer support, training and campaign around birth trauma and vicarious trauma. One not to miss.


                                    SUPPORT:

                                    If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                    YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                    We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                     

                                    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                    Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                    Email: app@app-network.org

                                    Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                     

                                    Andy's Man Club

                                    A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                    https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                    Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                    Association of Postnatal Illness

                                    Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                    Email: info@apni.org

                                    Live chat online facility

                                     

                                    Best Beginnings

                                    Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                    evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                    and early stages of parenting.

                                    App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                    24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                    Bi-Polar UK

                                    email: info@bipolaruk.org


                                    Birth Trauma Association

                                    Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                     

                                    CALM

                                    Contact CALM

                                    on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                     

                                    Cedar House Support Group

                                    Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                    Mobile: 07773 283556


                                    Contact: for families with disabled children

                                    Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.


                                     


                                    DadsNet 

                                    Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                    Family Lives

                                    An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                                    Family Rights Group

                                    Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                                     


                                    Fathers Reaching Out

                                    https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                    Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                    FiveXMore

                                    A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                                    fivexmore@gmail.com


                                    Gingerbread

                                    Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                                    The Hub of Hope

                                    A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                    LGBT Mummies

                                    Supporting LGBT+ women & people globally on the path to motherhood or parenthood.

                                    Email: contact@lgbtmummies.com


                                    Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                    Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                     

                                    Maternal OCD

                                    Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                    arrange


                                    The Motherhood Group

                                    Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                                    info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                                     

                                    Motivational Mums Club

                                    Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.


                                    Music Football Fatherhood

                                    Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                                    hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                                    Muslim Women’s Network

                                    Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                    4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                    and Bengali.

                                    Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                    Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                    Text: 07415 206 936

                                     

                                    Netmums

                                    Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                    Clinic.

                                     

                                    NHS

                                    Contact your local GP surgery.

                                    Call the NHS on 111

                                    or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                    If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                     

                                    PANDAS

                                    Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                    Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                     

                                    Petals

                                    Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                    or baby loss.

                                    Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                    Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                    Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                     

                                    Samaritans

                                    Tel: 116 123

                                    (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                    Web: www.samaritans.org

                                    Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                     

                                    Shout

                                    Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                     

                                    Twins Trust

                                    Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                    the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                    Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                    alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                    Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                     

                                    Tommy’s

                                    Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                    Web: www.tommys.org

                                    Helpline: Tommy’s

                                    helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                    via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                    Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                     

                                    MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                    ]]>502d97b1-140f-48ec-8818-a7f8333fd5ceMon, 04 Apr 2022 00:15:00 +010057:24falsefull1616Vikki Stephenson                                    My mum's story - PND in the 60s & 70s: NINA SPILSTEDMy mum's story - PND in the 60s & 70s: NINA SPILSTEDMOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL: My mum is a warrior - she has not had an easy life. From an early career as an Astronomer Royal's Personal Computer at Herstmonceux, mum had to give this up to follow my dad's job. After multiple miscarriages she experienced pre-eclampsia, a traumatic birth and PTSD with my brother Graham. His disability wasn't properly diagnosed until he was 37.

                                    I came along 2 and a half years later and mum suffered postnatal depression for the second time - an illness that received no support or understanding back then. The family moved to rural Scotland when I was 4, where she nursed me throughout my childhood with life-threatening asthma and a rare blood disorder. She also nursed my brother through teenage lymph cancer and my dad through multiple heart attacks.

                                    Mum was prescribed arsenic by her family GP as a child, which left her with life-long skin cancer - she's had over 60 surgeries and counting. She survived breast cancer in her '50s and developed end stage kidney failure in her '70s. Despite chronic pain and poor health, Nina is still remarkably strong, very kind and extremely loving. It's an honour to call her my mum.


                                    This conversation, recorded a few months ago, was the first time we really talked about her own experience of PND. She's a very private person, so I am endlessly grateful for her going back to revisit those dark times in the hopes of helping others.


                                    Since this was recorded, my brother has had a very serious heart attack. Thanks to the quick actions of both my mum and the ambulance service, he survived and is now recovering well. I'd like to dedicate this episode to him.


                                    *TRIGGER WARNING: MISCARRIAGE, BIRTH TRAUMA AND A BRIEF MENTION OF STILLBIRTH*


                                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                    [01:15] Introduction to Nina Spilsted - my lovely mum!

                                    [03:17] The lack of knowledge and support for PND in the 1960s and 70s.

                                    [03:42] 3 miscarriages and then pregnant with Graham. Enforced rest and a very clinical approach, unsmiling approach in hospital. Pre-eclampsia and bed rest.

                                    [04:40] Induced then a 27 hour labour. Feelings of trauma.

                                    [05:33] No support for her multiple baby losses - expectation to 'carry on as normal'. Feelings of failure - "why can't I have a baby?"

                                    [07:24] Bed rest and monitoring of the baby. Ignorance about birth and babies. Lack of family support and no baby groups.

                                    [08:37] Sent to a cottage hospital after the birth, for recuperation. Lack of information on discharge - "I didn't know what a health visitor was". Lack of support from her own mum - "nothing was ever discussed".

                                    [10:04] Graham's birth - trauma. Feelings of fear and loneliness.

                                    [11:39] Difficulty bonding with him at first.

                                    [12:59] Total exhaustion and overwhelm. Lack of the 'euphoric' moment when Graham arrived.

                                    [14:39] Going home with her baby - struggles. Lack of support from her mother and husband.

                                    [15:59] Difficulty breastfeeding - feelings of guilt and failure.

                                    [18:57] The need to be kind to yourself as a mother.

                                    [20:10] Realising she needed help. Sheer exhaustion - holding down a job as well as being a new mum.

                                    [21:42] Medicated by the doctor - not being able to remember much of that period. No knowledge of postnatal depression.

                                    [24:26] Suspicions that Graham may not be developing as he should be.

                                    [27:59] Another baby loss then pregnant with me. Flashbacks from Graham's traumatic birth caused great anxiety.

                                    [30:37] PND, great anxiety and the grief of losing another baby in between.

                                    [33:07] Pre-eclampsia for the second time and mum's experience of my birth.

                                    [37:32] Retreating into herself - feelings of agrophobia.

                                    [39:31] Finding a 'bonus for the day'. Gradual recovery.

                                    [41:05]...]]>MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL: My mum is a warrior - she has not had an easy life. From an early career as an Astronomer Royal's Personal Computer at Herstmonceux, mum had to give this up to follow my dad's job. After multiple miscarriages she experienced pre-eclampsia, a traumatic birth and PTSD with my brother Graham. His disability wasn't properly diagnosed until he was 37.

                                    I came along 2 and a half years later and mum suffered postnatal depression for the second time - an illness that received no support or understanding back then. The family moved to rural Scotland when I was 4, where she nursed me throughout my childhood with life-threatening asthma and a rare blood disorder. She also nursed my brother through teenage lymph cancer and my dad through multiple heart attacks.

                                    Mum was prescribed arsenic by her family GP as a child, which left her with life-long skin cancer - she's had over 60 surgeries and counting. She survived breast cancer in her '50s and developed end stage kidney failure in her '70s. Despite chronic pain and poor health, Nina is still remarkably strong, very kind and extremely loving. It's an honour to call her my mum.


                                    This conversation, recorded a few months ago, was the first time we really talked about her own experience of PND. She's a very private person, so I am endlessly grateful for her going back to revisit those dark times in the hopes of helping others.


                                    Since this was recorded, my brother has had a very serious heart attack. Thanks to the quick actions of both my mum and the ambulance service, he survived and is now recovering well. I'd like to dedicate this episode to him.


                                    *TRIGGER WARNING: MISCARRIAGE, BIRTH TRAUMA AND A BRIEF MENTION OF STILLBIRTH*


                                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                    [01:15] Introduction to Nina Spilsted - my lovely mum!

                                    [03:17] The lack of knowledge and support for PND in the 1960s and 70s.

                                    [03:42] 3 miscarriages and then pregnant with Graham. Enforced rest and a very clinical approach, unsmiling approach in hospital. Pre-eclampsia and bed rest.

                                    [04:40] Induced then a 27 hour labour. Feelings of trauma.

                                    [05:33] No support for her multiple baby losses - expectation to 'carry on as normal'. Feelings of failure - "why can't I have a baby?"

                                    [07:24] Bed rest and monitoring of the baby. Ignorance about birth and babies. Lack of family support and no baby groups.

                                    [08:37] Sent to a cottage hospital after the birth, for recuperation. Lack of information on discharge - "I didn't know what a health visitor was". Lack of support from her own mum - "nothing was ever discussed".

                                    [10:04] Graham's birth - trauma. Feelings of fear and loneliness.

                                    [11:39] Difficulty bonding with him at first.

                                    [12:59] Total exhaustion and overwhelm. Lack of the 'euphoric' moment when Graham arrived.

                                    [14:39] Going home with her baby - struggles. Lack of support from her mother and husband.

                                    [15:59] Difficulty breastfeeding - feelings of guilt and failure.

                                    [18:57] The need to be kind to yourself as a mother.

                                    [20:10] Realising she needed help. Sheer exhaustion - holding down a job as well as being a new mum.

                                    [21:42] Medicated by the doctor - not being able to remember much of that period. No knowledge of postnatal depression.

                                    [24:26] Suspicions that Graham may not be developing as he should be.

                                    [27:59] Another baby loss then pregnant with me. Flashbacks from Graham's traumatic birth caused great anxiety.

                                    [30:37] PND, great anxiety and the grief of losing another baby in between.

                                    [33:07] Pre-eclampsia for the second time and mum's experience of my birth.

                                    [37:32] Retreating into herself - feelings of agrophobia.

                                    [39:31] Finding a 'bonus for the day'. Gradual recovery.

                                    [41:05] Looking back at the experience. Trying not to anticipate trouble or worrying about things. Appreciating every day she has.

                                    [45:50] Finding out I was pregnant with mum's first and only grandson! Losing my first pregnancy early on. Stanley's early arrival!

                                    [49:44] Recognising PND symptoms in me. Helping me get support.

                                    [55:01] The importance of kind words.

                                    [56:23] Lack of family support.

                                    [57:29] Not talking to friends about what she was experiencing.

                                    [01:01:47] Motherhood is the most important job in the world. So why is it so undervalued?


                                    KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                    1. Kind words can really make a difference. So if you see someone struggling, a smile or compassion could help. And if you ask them if they are okay, ask them twice - the second time you might get an honest answer.
                                    2. It is so important you are kind to yourself - a happy mum means a happy baby. You can't look after others if you can't look after yourself first. If you struggle with this, I hope these episodes are helpful: The Self Compassion episode (part 1), The Self Compassion episode (part 2) and the Loving Kindness Meditation (specially created for Blue MumDays listeners).
                                    3. Finding a 'bonus for the day' can be helpful - something to lift your spirits, whether it's a lovely cup of coffee, a beautiful flower or a gorgeous blue sky. Something to hang onto and give you hope.
                                    4. You are not the only one in the world feeling like this and you will not feel like this forever.
                                    5. Families are more separate in modern life, so many don't have family support at hand.


                                    If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                    Follow us:

                                    Instagram

                                    Twitter

                                    Join our Facebook Group

                                    Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                     

                                    NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                    In Episode 16 I talk to the fabulous AJ Silver of The Queer Birth Club, born of the necessity to fill the void of LGBT+ inclusion in the birth world. We talk about their birth experience and work as a birth and postnatal doula.


                                    SUPPORT:

                                    If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                    YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                    We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                     

                                    Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                    Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                    Email: app@app-network.org

                                    Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                     

                                    Andy's Man Club

                                    A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                    https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                    Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                    Association of Postnatal Illness

                                    Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                    Email: info@apni.org

                                    Live chat online facility

                                     

                                    Best Beginnings

                                    Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                    evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                    and early stages of parenting.

                                    App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                    24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                    Bi-Polar UK

                                    email: info@bipolaruk.org


                                    Birth Trauma Association

                                    Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                     

                                    CALM

                                    Contact CALM

                                    on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                     

                                    Cedar House Support Group

                                    Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                    Mobile: 07773 283556


                                    Contact: for families with disabled children

                                    Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.


                                     


                                    DadsNet 

                                    Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                    Family Lives

                                    An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                                    Family Rights Group

                                    Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                                     


                                    Fathers Reaching Out

                                    https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                    Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                    FiveXMore

                                    A grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.

                                    fivexmore@gmail.com


                                    Gingerbread

                                    Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                                    The Hub of Hope

                                    A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                    Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                    Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                     

                                    Maternal OCD

                                    Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                    arrange


                                    The Motherhood Group

                                    Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                                    info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                                     

                                    Motivational Mums Club

                                    Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.


                                    Music Football Fatherhood

                                    Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                                    hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                                    Muslim Women’s Network

                                    Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                    4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                    and Bengali.

                                    Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                    Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                    Text: 07415 206 936

                                     

                                    Netmums

                                    Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                    Clinic.

                                     

                                    NHS

                                    Contact your local GP surgery.

                                    Call the NHS on 111

                                    or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                    If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                     

                                    PANDAS

                                    Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                    Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                     

                                    Petals

                                    Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                    or baby loss.

                                    Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                    Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                    Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                     

                                    Samaritans

                                    Tel: 116 123

                                    (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                    Web: www.samaritans.org

                                    Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                     

                                    Shout

                                    Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                     

                                    Twins Trust

                                    Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                    the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                    Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                    alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                    Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                     

                                    Tommy’s

                                    Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                    Web: www.tommys.org

                                    Helpline: Tommy’s

                                    helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                    via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                    Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                     

                                    MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                    ]]>2c25d5b3-6ce6-4fd6-9cc9-27adc81178e4Mon, 28 Mar 2022 00:00:00 +010001:03:38falsefull1515Vikki Stephenson                                    Pregnant again within 3 months of birth: CHRISTINA BROWNPregnant again within 3 months of birth: CHRISTINA BROWNToday's guest is the wonderful Christina Brown of the Motivational Mums Club, who found herself pregnant again within months of giving birth. As someone who was very career driven, this was a huge shock and she developed maternal mental health issues after the birth of her daughter. Chrissy talks about this experience and how it renewed her passion for helping other mothers - this time with an emphasis on supporting their mental health. She is determined that other mums should have access to the help they need. (This episode was recorded in the middle of winter.)

                                    *TRIGGER WARNING: BRIEF MENTION OF EARLY BABY LOSS*

                                    IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                    [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                    [02:07] Introduction to Christina Brown.

                                    [03:26] Chrissy's background in the corporate world, very ambitious and career driven.

                                    [07:15] Getting pregnant - in-between bleedings and worry about miscarrying, keeping quiet.

                                    [09:39] Relaxing into the pregnancy and the safe delivery of her son.

                                    [10:21] Starting 'Motivational Mums' whilst a new mum - sharing experiences of motherhood.

                                    [13:34] Feeling emotionally well, thanks to a good support system.

                                    [14:58] The shock of finding herself 12 weeks pregnant, when her son Zane was less than 7 months.

                                    [19:40] Getting referred by her GP and her first scan.

                                    [22:23] The impact on her return to work - a lot to take in.

                                    [23:51] Filled with anxiety - "I lost myself".

                                    [28:51] Life with '2 under 2' - tears, but unable to tell the midwife.

                                    [31:09] The pressures on black mums - being judged, not being listened to, cultural expectations.

                                    [34:19] Telling her GP - the Edinburgh Test, rejecting anti-depressants and a lack of peer support.

                                    [36:21] 'Motivational Mums' is reborn - positive affirmations about motherhood, keeping it real.

                                    [38:29] Offering free mental health sessions for mothers and birthing people.

                                    [39:32] 'Young Positive Minds' - encouraging self confidence and resilience in young people.

                                    [40:44] The huge need for children's mental health support and how we, as parents with mental illness, can help them through our own lived experience.

                                    [41:44] The affect of the pandemic, uncertainty in the world and social pressure on our young people - being told how they should look, how they should behave.

                                    [43:02] The importance of affirmation and positive reinforcement in building emotional resilience.

                                    [44:15] Partners shouldn't be forgotten about - they need support to.

                                    [45:33] Losing her identity - the importance to still be 'you', despite looking after everyone else.

                                    [47:01] "We don't have a moment to be still" - give yourself grace, you have permission to "be still"

                                    [50:21] So many mums feel guilty for doing anything for themselves. But self care is crucial.

                                    [51:19] How to get hold of Chrissy - website and contact links.

                                    [52:22] "The first year after giving birth, every mother is entitled to counselling under the NHS."

                                    [53:30] Talking helps - counselling is a safe space.

                                    [54:24] Chrissy's calling - taking a career break to concentrate on both her businesses.

                                    KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                    1. According to the NHS, you can get pregnant as little as 3 weeks after the birth of a baby, even if you're breastfeeding and your periods haven't started again. Unless you want to get pregnant again, it's important to use some kind of contraception every time you have sex after giving birth, including the first time. Breastfeeding is not a contraceptive.
                                    2. Black mums are 4 times more likely to die in childbirth and rates of PND/anxiety are significantly higher than they are in white mums - yet black mums are less likely to seek help or be listened to. (Metro)
                                    3. Today's guest is the wonderful Christina Brown of the Motivational Mums Club, who found herself pregnant again within months of giving birth. As someone who was very career driven, this was a huge shock and she developed maternal mental health issues after the birth of her daughter. Chrissy talks about this experience and how it renewed her passion for helping other mothers - this time with an emphasis on supporting their mental health. She is determined that other mums should have access to the help they need. (This episode was recorded in the middle of winter.)

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: BRIEF MENTION OF EARLY BABY LOSS*

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:00] Teaser quote.

                                      [02:07] Introduction to Christina Brown.

                                      [03:26] Chrissy's background in the corporate world, very ambitious and career driven.

                                      [07:15] Getting pregnant - in-between bleedings and worry about miscarrying, keeping quiet.

                                      [09:39] Relaxing into the pregnancy and the safe delivery of her son.

                                      [10:21] Starting 'Motivational Mums' whilst a new mum - sharing experiences of motherhood.

                                      [13:34] Feeling emotionally well, thanks to a good support system.

                                      [14:58] The shock of finding herself 12 weeks pregnant, when her son Zane was less than 7 months.

                                      [19:40] Getting referred by her GP and her first scan.

                                      [22:23] The impact on her return to work - a lot to take in.

                                      [23:51] Filled with anxiety - "I lost myself".

                                      [28:51] Life with '2 under 2' - tears, but unable to tell the midwife.

                                      [31:09] The pressures on black mums - being judged, not being listened to, cultural expectations.

                                      [34:19] Telling her GP - the Edinburgh Test, rejecting anti-depressants and a lack of peer support.

                                      [36:21] 'Motivational Mums' is reborn - positive affirmations about motherhood, keeping it real.

                                      [38:29] Offering free mental health sessions for mothers and birthing people.

                                      [39:32] 'Young Positive Minds' - encouraging self confidence and resilience in young people.

                                      [40:44] The huge need for children's mental health support and how we, as parents with mental illness, can help them through our own lived experience.

                                      [41:44] The affect of the pandemic, uncertainty in the world and social pressure on our young people - being told how they should look, how they should behave.

                                      [43:02] The importance of affirmation and positive reinforcement in building emotional resilience.

                                      [44:15] Partners shouldn't be forgotten about - they need support to.

                                      [45:33] Losing her identity - the importance to still be 'you', despite looking after everyone else.

                                      [47:01] "We don't have a moment to be still" - give yourself grace, you have permission to "be still"

                                      [50:21] So many mums feel guilty for doing anything for themselves. But self care is crucial.

                                      [51:19] How to get hold of Chrissy - website and contact links.

                                      [52:22] "The first year after giving birth, every mother is entitled to counselling under the NHS."

                                      [53:30] Talking helps - counselling is a safe space.

                                      [54:24] Chrissy's calling - taking a career break to concentrate on both her businesses.

                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. According to the NHS, you can get pregnant as little as 3 weeks after the birth of a baby, even if you're breastfeeding and your periods haven't started again. Unless you want to get pregnant again, it's important to use some kind of contraception every time you have sex after giving birth, including the first time. Breastfeeding is not a contraceptive.
                                      2. Black mums are 4 times more likely to die in childbirth and rates of PND/anxiety are significantly higher than they are in white mums - yet black mums are less likely to seek help or be listened to. (Metro)
                                      3. FiveXMore is a grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.
                                      4. 1 in 6 children and young people have a diagnosable mental health illness, and many continue to have these problems into adulthood. (Place 2 Be) With children's mental health at an all-time low, having a parent who has experienced a mental health issue is actually helpful for them - we are empowering our children, bringing them up in an environment where they know it's ok to not be ok, and giving them the tools for mental resilience.
                                      5. ELFT (East London NHS Foundation Trust)
                                      6. Motivational Mums Club - Contact Chrissy here. MMC offers Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist who’s also a Mother.
                                      7. It is so important as mothers to allow ourselves to be still, practice self-care and reconnect with who we were before we become a parent. For help with this, please listen to the resources below:
                                      8. The Self Compassion episode (part 1)
                                      9. The Self Compassion episode (part 2)
                                      10. Loving Kindness Meditation (specially created for Blue MumDays listeners)

                                      If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Join our Facebook Group

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 15 - my most personal to date - I chat to my own beloved mum, Nina, for the first time about her experiences of postnatal depression in the late 1960s.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                      YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                      We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                       

                                      Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                      Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                      Email: app@app-network.org

                                      Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                       

                                      Andy's Man Club

                                      A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                      https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                      Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                      Association of Postnatal Illness

                                      Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                      Email: info@apni.org

                                      Live chat online facility

                                       

                                      Best Beginnings

                                      Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                      evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                      and early stages of parenting.

                                      App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                      24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                      Bi-Polar UK

                                      email: info@bipolaruk.org


                                      Birth Trauma Association

                                      Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                       

                                      CALM

                                      Contact CALM

                                      on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                       

                                      Cedar House Support Group

                                      Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                      Mobile: 07773 283556


                                      Contact: for families with disabled children

                                      Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.


                                       


                                      DadsNet 

                                      Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                      Family Lives

                                      An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.



                                      Family Rights Group

                                      Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.


                                       


                                      Fathers Reaching Out

                                      https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                      Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                      Gingerbread

                                      Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.



                                      The Hub of Hope

                                      A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                      Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                      Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                       

                                      Maternal OCD

                                      Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                      arrange


                                      The Motherhood Group

                                      Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.

                                      info@themotherhoodgroup.com

                                       

                                      Motivational Mums Club

                                      Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.


                                      Music Football Fatherhood

                                      Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.

                                      hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com


                                      Muslim Women’s Network

                                      Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                      4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                      and Bengali.

                                      Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Text: 07415 206 936

                                       

                                      Netmums

                                      Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                      Clinic.

                                       

                                      NHS

                                      Contact your local GP surgery.

                                      Call the NHS on 111

                                      or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                      If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                       

                                      PANDAS

                                      Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                      Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                       

                                      Petals

                                      Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                      or baby loss.

                                      Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                      Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                      Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                       

                                      Samaritans

                                      Tel: 116 123

                                      (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                      Web: www.samaritans.org

                                      Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                       

                                      Shout

                                      Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                       

                                      Twins Trust

                                      Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                      the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                      Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                      alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                      Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                       

                                      Tommy’s

                                      Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                      Web: www.tommys.org

                                      Helpline: Tommy’s

                                      helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                      via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                      Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                       

                                      MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                      ]]>                                      87273bc8-abd8-46c4-a53e-68108ccd62deMon, 21 Mar 2022 00:00:00 +010055:53falsefull1414Vikki StephensonHaving a baby made me manic: HANNAH HARDY-JONES (Part 2)Having a baby made me manic: HANNAH HARDY-JONES (Part 2)Hannah Hardy-Jones, mental health advocate and CEO of the Kite Program, developed bipolar disorder after the traumatic birth of her daughter. In Part 2, Hannah talks about what inspired her to start Kite to support the mental health of others, the benefits of having bipolar and the hugely positive experience she had with the birth of her second child, Henry.

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: BI-POLAR DISORDER*

                                      ! Apologies for my Siamese cat Brandy miaowing in the background at points !

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:00] Teaser quote

                                      [01:03] Introduction to Hannah Hardy-Jones (Part 2)

                                      [02:50] The affect Hannah's bipolar disorder has had on her husband Nick

                                      [04:35] Starting The Kite Program - a beautifully designed, emotionally supportive app for mums and beyond

                                      [08:57] The decision to have a second baby after her traumatic first birth - support in place

                                      [11:10] The risk of having a psychotic episode - nightmares about what could happen

                                      [11:45] A beautiful birth with Henry - immediate connection and a healing experience

                                      [13:01] How Alice's birth gave Hannah the gift of doing what she's doing now - looking back

                                      [14:55] "Can I do this again?" Considering having another baby after trauma or PND

                                      [19:55] The impact on Hannah's daughter Alice

                                      [21:22] "We talk about mental health" - building an emotional toolkit for her daughter

                                      [24:25] "My brain is a different brain" - life since her diagnosis - more creative and confident

                                      [25:50] The benefits of neurodiversity in creativity

                                      [27:05] Hannah's negative views on 'mental health' when she worked in HR, before her lived experience

                                      [30:14] Trying to help other people understand what it feels like - Vikki's experience

                                      [32:54] How looking at Google and forums can be damaging

                                      [34:26] These feelings don't last for ever - you will not always feel this way


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. The pressure to have another child. It's okay not to want to have another child after perinatal illness.
                                      2. However with the right support in place you can have a really successful second birth and not necessarily be affected by mental health issues second time around.
                                      3. Bipolar can actually unlock positive parts of your brain.
                                      4. Don't look at Google or forums for advice, these can be triggering.
                                      5. These feelings are temporary - you will not feel this way for ever.
                                      6. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
                                      7. NHS info on Bipolar Disorder
                                      8. Bipolar UK email: info@bipolaruk.org
                                      9. The Kite Program app


                                      If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Join our Facebook Group

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 14 we chat to the hugely inspiring Christina Brown of the Motivational Mums Club, on discovering she was pregnant again within months of having her first child and her subsequent experience of postnatal depression.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are...]]>Hannah Hardy-Jones, mental health advocate and CEO of the Kite Program, developed bipolar disorder after the traumatic birth of her daughter. In Part 2, Hannah talks about what inspired her to start Kite to support the mental health of others, the benefits of having bipolar and the hugely positive experience she had with the birth of her second child, Henry.

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: BI-POLAR DISORDER*

                                      ! Apologies for my Siamese cat Brandy miaowing in the background at points !

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:00] Teaser quote

                                      [01:03] Introduction to Hannah Hardy-Jones (Part 2)

                                      [02:50] The affect Hannah's bipolar disorder has had on her husband Nick

                                      [04:35] Starting The Kite Program - a beautifully designed, emotionally supportive app for mums and beyond

                                      [08:57] The decision to have a second baby after her traumatic first birth - support in place

                                      [11:10] The risk of having a psychotic episode - nightmares about what could happen

                                      [11:45] A beautiful birth with Henry - immediate connection and a healing experience

                                      [13:01] How Alice's birth gave Hannah the gift of doing what she's doing now - looking back

                                      [14:55] "Can I do this again?" Considering having another baby after trauma or PND

                                      [19:55] The impact on Hannah's daughter Alice

                                      [21:22] "We talk about mental health" - building an emotional toolkit for her daughter

                                      [24:25] "My brain is a different brain" - life since her diagnosis - more creative and confident

                                      [25:50] The benefits of neurodiversity in creativity

                                      [27:05] Hannah's negative views on 'mental health' when she worked in HR, before her lived experience

                                      [30:14] Trying to help other people understand what it feels like - Vikki's experience

                                      [32:54] How looking at Google and forums can be damaging

                                      [34:26] These feelings don't last for ever - you will not always feel this way


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. The pressure to have another child. It's okay not to want to have another child after perinatal illness.
                                      2. However with the right support in place you can have a really successful second birth and not necessarily be affected by mental health issues second time around.
                                      3. Bipolar can actually unlock positive parts of your brain.
                                      4. Don't look at Google or forums for advice, these can be triggering.
                                      5. These feelings are temporary - you will not feel this way for ever.
                                      6. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
                                      7. NHS info on Bipolar Disorder
                                      8. Bipolar UK email: info@bipolaruk.org
                                      9. The Kite Program app


                                      If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Join our Facebook Group

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 14 we chat to the hugely inspiring Christina Brown of the Motivational Mums Club, on discovering she was pregnant again within months of having her first child and her subsequent experience of postnatal depression.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                      YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                      We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                       

                                      Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                      Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                      Email: app@app-network.org

                                      Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                       

                                      Andy's Man Club

                                      A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                      https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                      Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                      Association of Postnatal Illness

                                      Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                      Email: info@apni.org

                                      Live chat online facility

                                       

                                      Best Beginnings

                                      Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                      evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                      and early stages of parenting.

                                      App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                      24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                      Bi-Polar UK

                                      email: info@bipolaruk.org


                                      Birth Trauma Association

                                      Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                       

                                      CALM

                                      Contact CALM

                                      on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                       

                                      Cedar House Support Group

                                      Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                      Mobile: 07773 283556

                                       

                                      DadsNet 

                                      Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

                                       

                                      Fathers Reaching Out

                                      https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                      Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

                                       

                                      The Hub of Hope

                                      A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                      Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                      Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                       

                                      Maternal OCD

                                      Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                      arrange

                                       

                                      Muslim Women’s Network

                                      Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                      4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                      and Bengali.

                                      Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Text: 07415 206 936

                                       

                                      Netmums

                                      Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                      Clinic.

                                       

                                      NHS

                                      Contact your local GP surgery.

                                      Call the NHS on 111

                                      or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                      If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                       

                                      PANDAS

                                      Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                      Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                       

                                      Petals

                                      Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                      or baby loss.

                                      Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                      Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                      Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                       

                                      Samaritans

                                      Tel: 116 123

                                      (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                      Web: www.samaritans.org

                                      Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                       

                                      Shout

                                      Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                       

                                      Twins Trust

                                      Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                      the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                      Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                      alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                      Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                       

                                      Tommy’s

                                      Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                      Web: www.tommys.org

                                      Helpline: Tommy’s

                                      helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                      via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                      Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                       

                                      MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                      ]]>5884e413-8616-45df-a2c1-c248de8eda9cMon, 14 Mar 2022 00:30:00 +010037:09falsefull1313Vikki Stephenson                                      Having a baby made me manic: HANNAH HARDY-JONES (Part 1)Having a baby made me manic: HANNAH HARDY-JONES (Part 1)Hannah Hardy-Jones, mental health advocate and CEO of the Kite Program, speaks bravely and honestly about how the traumatic birth of her daughter triggered bi-polar disorder. Instead of falling into depression, Hannah experienced intense highs within the first few days of giving birth on barely any sleep. And then came the devastating low.

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA, BI-POLAR DISORDER*

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:00] Teaser quote

                                      [00:46] Introduction to Hannah Hardy-Jones (Part 1)

                                      [02:26] Before pregnancy - career focus and vision boards!

                                      [03:55] The pregnancy itself - trying to make everything perfect

                                      [06:31] Lack of information about the emotional strains of parenting - women aren't prepared

                                      [07:58] Bad morning sickness

                                      [09:07] The birth - being induced and an epidural that only worked on one side

                                      [12:15] Baby in distress - intervention

                                      [16:48] Body shock

                                      [18:12] Not getting that skin-to-skin contact

                                      [18:51] The affect on Hannah's husband Nick

                                      [20:26] After the birth - staying at a birthing unit

                                      [22:58] Starting to feel 'high' - reduced pain, not sleeping

                                      [26:16] Suspicions and secrets

                                      [28:00] Getting assessed - 10 signposts for having a manic episode

                                      [31:22] Visitors made things worse

                                      [32:10] The adult psych team called in - feeling a bit scared and out of control

                                      [34:05] 6 weeks to get a formal diagnosis

                                      [34:56] What goes up must come down -the crushing depression

                                      [37:40] Terrible anxiety and support from carers

                                      [39:35] Cyclical depression caused by reaction to the medication

                                      [40:23] Looking after Alice - a fear of passing on the distress

                                      [41:44] Turning a corner, a fresh start

                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. Whilst there are plenty of courses offering practical information during pregnancy, there should be more to prepare mums for the emotional strains of motherhood.
                                      2. Partners can be affected by birth trauma too and may need support themselves.
                                      3. NHS info on Bi-Polar Disorder
                                      4. A manic episode can reduce perceived pain intensity or the perceived need for sleep.
                                      5. Bi-Polar UK email: info@bipolaruk.org
                                      6. The Kite Program app

                                      If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Join our Facebook Group

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 13 we continue our chat with Hannah Hardy-Jones. Hannah talks about adjusting to living with bipolar, having her second child and creating The Kite Program - a personal development app for mothers touted as a world-first.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                      YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                      We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or...]]>Hannah Hardy-Jones, mental health advocate and CEO of the Kite Program, speaks bravely and honestly about how the traumatic birth of her daughter triggered bi-polar disorder. Instead of falling into depression, Hannah experienced intense highs within the first few days of giving birth on barely any sleep. And then came the devastating low.

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA, BI-POLAR DISORDER*

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:00] Teaser quote

                                      [00:46] Introduction to Hannah Hardy-Jones (Part 1)

                                      [02:26] Before pregnancy - career focus and vision boards!

                                      [03:55] The pregnancy itself - trying to make everything perfect

                                      [06:31] Lack of information about the emotional strains of parenting - women aren't prepared

                                      [07:58] Bad morning sickness

                                      [09:07] The birth - being induced and an epidural that only worked on one side

                                      [12:15] Baby in distress - intervention

                                      [16:48] Body shock

                                      [18:12] Not getting that skin-to-skin contact

                                      [18:51] The affect on Hannah's husband Nick

                                      [20:26] After the birth - staying at a birthing unit

                                      [22:58] Starting to feel 'high' - reduced pain, not sleeping

                                      [26:16] Suspicions and secrets

                                      [28:00] Getting assessed - 10 signposts for having a manic episode

                                      [31:22] Visitors made things worse

                                      [32:10] The adult psych team called in - feeling a bit scared and out of control

                                      [34:05] 6 weeks to get a formal diagnosis

                                      [34:56] What goes up must come down -the crushing depression

                                      [37:40] Terrible anxiety and support from carers

                                      [39:35] Cyclical depression caused by reaction to the medication

                                      [40:23] Looking after Alice - a fear of passing on the distress

                                      [41:44] Turning a corner, a fresh start

                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. Whilst there are plenty of courses offering practical information during pregnancy, there should be more to prepare mums for the emotional strains of motherhood.
                                      2. Partners can be affected by birth trauma too and may need support themselves.
                                      3. NHS info on Bi-Polar Disorder
                                      4. A manic episode can reduce perceived pain intensity or the perceived need for sleep.
                                      5. Bi-Polar UK email: info@bipolaruk.org
                                      6. The Kite Program app

                                      If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Join our Facebook Group

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 13 we continue our chat with Hannah Hardy-Jones. Hannah talks about adjusting to living with bipolar, having her second child and creating The Kite Program - a personal development app for mothers touted as a world-first.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                      YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                      We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                       

                                      Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                      Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                      Email: app@app-network.org

                                      Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                       

                                      Andy's Man Club

                                      A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                      https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                      Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                      Association of Postnatal Illness

                                      Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                      Email: info@apni.org

                                      Live chat online facility

                                       

                                      Best Beginnings

                                      Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                      evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                      and early stages of parenting.

                                      App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                      24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                      Bi-Polar UK

                                      email: info@bipolaruk.org


                                      Birth Trauma Association

                                      Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                       

                                      CALM

                                      Contact CALM

                                      on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                       

                                      Cedar House Support Group

                                      Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                      Mobile: 07773 283556

                                       

                                      DadsNet 

                                      Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

                                       

                                      Fathers Reaching Out

                                      https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                      Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

                                       

                                      The Hub of Hope

                                      A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                      Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                      Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                       

                                      Maternal OCD

                                      Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                      arrange

                                       

                                      Muslim Women’s Network

                                      Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                      4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                      and Bengali.

                                      Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Text: 07415 206 936

                                       

                                      Netmums

                                      Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                      Clinic.

                                       

                                      NHS

                                      Contact your local GP surgery.

                                      Call the NHS on 111

                                      or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                      If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                       

                                      PANDAS

                                      Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                      Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                       

                                      Petals

                                      Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                      or baby loss.

                                      Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                      Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                      Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                       

                                      Samaritans

                                      Tel: 116 123

                                      (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                      Web: www.samaritans.org

                                      Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                       

                                      Shout

                                      Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                       

                                      Twins Trust

                                      Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                      the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                      Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                      alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                      Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                       

                                      Tommy’s

                                      Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                      Web: www.tommys.org

                                      Helpline: Tommy’s

                                      helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                      via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                      Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                       

                                      MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                      ]]>d3111c28-ed6a-4394-aae3-f0f442507bdfSun, 06 Mar 2022 01:50:00 +010043:27falsefull1212Vikki Stephenson                                      If you can survive PND, you can survive anything: LIZ WISE (Part 2)If you can survive PND, you can survive anything: LIZ WISE (Part 2)I catch up again with Liz Wise, specialist PND Counsellor. In Episode 1 she talked to me about her lived experience of PND. This time she talks about her work with her charity Cedar House Support Group and how out of the thousands of women she has helped over 30 years, every one has made a full recovery from this horrible illness.

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: CANCER, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS*

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:00] Teaser quote

                                      [00:58] Introduction to Liz Wise (Part 2)

                                      [02:26] Helping other mums after recovery - training in counselling and setting up Cedar House

                                      [08:30] The privilege of helping women go from rock bottom to full recovery

                                      [09:00] Things that may predispose parents to getting PND

                                      [11:40] How Liz's experience of cancer and losing her father contributed to her own PND

                                      [12:54] Risk factors in parents

                                      [15:02] The role of anti-depressants

                                      [17:46] My own positive experience of taking anti-depressants

                                      [20:30] The lack of understanding with some GPs and health visitors

                                      [21:31] How the pandemic has enabled Cedar House to support to women online

                                      [22:03] How to get in touch with Liz for support (see link in 'Key Takeaways')

                                      [22:59] The reassurance of talking to other women going through PND

                                      [24:50] How you will get better, even if you can't see that right now

                                      [25:54] How Liz thought she had a personality change and withdrew when she had PND

                                      [26:39] How medication can get you back to your old self

                                      [27:23] How PND 'hooks' anxieties - Liz's trouble bonding with Emma and health anxiety

                                      [30:27] The 'hook' of breastfeeding anxiety and its relation to PND

                                      [38:48] Advice for partners, friends and family who want to help

                                      [45:38] How much courage it takes to open up about how you're feeling

                                      [47:57] Jake Mills and the Hub of Hope: It's not mental illness, it's mental health

                                      [48:39] How early intervention is so important

                                      [49:40] Helpful messages for mums going through this - there is no 'perfect' parent

                                      [52:50] You are not weak for having PND.

                                       

                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. Cedar House Support Group - how to get in touch with Liz
                                      2. The majority of women Liz has seen have suffered from a hormonal or chemical imbalance.
                                      3. 70-80% of women Liz sees have some issue from the past that is unresolved.
                                      4. Risk factors can include women who have had depression in the past, have had multiple births, suffered from abuse, been through fertility treatment/IVF or are in unsupported relationships.
                                      5. High expectations of how wonderful it's going to be vs. the reality can also be a risk factor.
                                      6. Anti-depressants are made to combat depression, just like antibiotics are made to combat infection. They re-address the imbalance of serotonin in the brain. They don't give you a personality change, they get you back to who you were before.
                                      7. Don't feel despondent if the first medication you try doesn't work, there are lots of different types available and there will be a good fit for you. It's just a question of finding it.
                                      8. The majority of women who go on anti-depressants do come off them.
                                      9. PND can 'hook' onto anxieties - from bonding to health anxiety to breastfeeding issues or even bizarre things. These obsessive, irrational thoughts can be very frightening.
                                      10. For some women there is a connection between difficulties breastfeeding and PND.
                                      11. Postnatal depression is a recognised and totally treatable condition that you will recover from.
                                      12. HOW YOU CAN HELP: Encourage the mum to see her GP. Advise her it won't last forever. Actively listen to her. Try not to pass on your own judgement or opinion. Be kind and patient. - there...]]>I catch up again with Liz Wise, specialist PND Counsellor. In Episode 1 she talked to me about her lived experience of PND. This time she talks about her work with her charity Cedar House Support Group and how out of the thousands of women she has helped over 30 years, every one has made a full recovery from this horrible illness.

                                        *TRIGGER WARNING: CANCER, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS*

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Teaser quote

                                        [00:58] Introduction to Liz Wise (Part 2)

                                        [02:26] Helping other mums after recovery - training in counselling and setting up Cedar House

                                        [08:30] The privilege of helping women go from rock bottom to full recovery

                                        [09:00] Things that may predispose parents to getting PND

                                        [11:40] How Liz's experience of cancer and losing her father contributed to her own PND

                                        [12:54] Risk factors in parents

                                        [15:02] The role of anti-depressants

                                        [17:46] My own positive experience of taking anti-depressants

                                        [20:30] The lack of understanding with some GPs and health visitors

                                        [21:31] How the pandemic has enabled Cedar House to support to women online

                                        [22:03] How to get in touch with Liz for support (see link in 'Key Takeaways')

                                        [22:59] The reassurance of talking to other women going through PND

                                        [24:50] How you will get better, even if you can't see that right now

                                        [25:54] How Liz thought she had a personality change and withdrew when she had PND

                                        [26:39] How medication can get you back to your old self

                                        [27:23] How PND 'hooks' anxieties - Liz's trouble bonding with Emma and health anxiety

                                        [30:27] The 'hook' of breastfeeding anxiety and its relation to PND

                                        [38:48] Advice for partners, friends and family who want to help

                                        [45:38] How much courage it takes to open up about how you're feeling

                                        [47:57] Jake Mills and the Hub of Hope: It's not mental illness, it's mental health

                                        [48:39] How early intervention is so important

                                        [49:40] Helpful messages for mums going through this - there is no 'perfect' parent

                                        [52:50] You are not weak for having PND.

                                         

                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. Cedar House Support Group - how to get in touch with Liz
                                        2. The majority of women Liz has seen have suffered from a hormonal or chemical imbalance.
                                        3. 70-80% of women Liz sees have some issue from the past that is unresolved.
                                        4. Risk factors can include women who have had depression in the past, have had multiple births, suffered from abuse, been through fertility treatment/IVF or are in unsupported relationships.
                                        5. High expectations of how wonderful it's going to be vs. the reality can also be a risk factor.
                                        6. Anti-depressants are made to combat depression, just like antibiotics are made to combat infection. They re-address the imbalance of serotonin in the brain. They don't give you a personality change, they get you back to who you were before.
                                        7. Don't feel despondent if the first medication you try doesn't work, there are lots of different types available and there will be a good fit for you. It's just a question of finding it.
                                        8. The majority of women who go on anti-depressants do come off them.
                                        9. PND can 'hook' onto anxieties - from bonding to health anxiety to breastfeeding issues or even bizarre things. These obsessive, irrational thoughts can be very frightening.
                                        10. For some women there is a connection between difficulties breastfeeding and PND.
                                        11. Postnatal depression is a recognised and totally treatable condition that you will recover from.
                                        12. HOW YOU CAN HELP: Encourage the mum to see her GP. Advise her it won't last forever. Actively listen to her. Try not to pass on your own judgement or opinion. Be kind and patient. - there isn't a quick fix for PND.
                                        13. It's important to remember you don't bring this illness on yourself. You can't just 'snap out of it'.
                                        14. The Hub of Hope - a directory of mental health support around the UK.
                                        15. There is no such thing as a 'perfect' parent. Feeding, changing your baby's nappy and keeping them safe is enough in the early days. You are doing a GREAT job.
                                        16. Don't compare yourself to other mothers. Don't get obsessed by social media - that is someone's highlights reel, you don't see the chaos behind-the-scenes.
                                        17. Don't feel guilty if you aren't enjoying it - raising a baby can be one of the hardest and most demanding things in the world, and can be boring at times!


                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Join our Facebook Group

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 12 I talk to Hannah Hardy-Jones, founder of the Kite Program mental health app, whose bi-polar disorder was triggered by giving birth.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                        Email: info@apni.org

                                        Live chat online facility

                                         

                                        Best Beginnings

                                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                        and early stages of parenting.

                                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                        24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

                                        Birth Trauma Association

                                        Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                         

                                        CALM

                                        Contact CALM

                                        on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                         

                                        Cedar House Support Group

                                        Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                        Mobile: 07773 283556

                                         

                                        DadsNet 

                                        Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

                                         

                                        Fathers Reaching Out

                                        https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                        Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

                                         

                                        The Hub of Hope

                                        A directory of mental health support around the UK.


                                        Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                        Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                         

                                         

                                        Maternal OCD

                                        Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                        arrange

                                         

                                        Muslim Women’s Network

                                        Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                        4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                        and Bengali.

                                        Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Text: 07415 206 936

                                         

                                        Netmums

                                        Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                        Clinic.

                                         

                                        NHS

                                        Contact your local GP surgery.

                                        Call the NHS on 111

                                        or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                        If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                         

                                        PANDAS

                                        Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                        Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                         

                                        Petals

                                        Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                        or baby loss.

                                        Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                        Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                        Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                         

                                        Samaritans

                                        Tel: 116 123

                                        (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                        Web: www.samaritans.org

                                        Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                         

                                        Shout

                                        Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                         

                                        Twins Trust

                                        Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                        the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                        Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                        alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                        Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                         

                                        Tommy’s

                                        Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                        Web: www.tommys.org

                                        Helpline: Tommy’s

                                        helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                        via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                        Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                         

                                        MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                        ]]>                                        5a53cdc6-3554-4e98-b2bf-b35aee2cc041Mon, 28 Feb 2022 08:50:00 +010054:11falsefull1111Vikki StephensonTwins, Me and PND: LEONIE HUIETwins, Me and PND: LEONIE HUIEA really entertaining and moving chat with the amazing Leonie Huie BEM, author of 'The First Year is Survival'. Leonie found out she was pregnant unexpectedly - with twins! She talks about her early struggles as a new mum of multiples and the trauma of having to perform CPR on one of her daughters when she stopped breathing. When they subsequently ended up in hospital, Leonie was finally recognised as having postnatal depression - a lifechanging diagnosis for her.

                                        *TRIGGER WARNING: PERFORMING CPR ON HER BABY*

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Teaser quote

                                        [00:56] Introduction to Leonie

                                        [01:41] Life before pregnancy

                                        [02:45] Finding out she was unexpectedly pregnant - with twins!

                                        [10:11] Experiencing bad anxiety during the pregnancy

                                        [16:20] The birth - a c-section and hiphop

                                        [21:59] Skin-to-skin - no feeling of connection

                                        [22:48] Difficulties breastfeeding

                                        [30:24] Nobody diagnosed PND

                                        [31:38] Having to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on her baby daughter

                                        [34:23] Finding out she had postnatal depression

                                        [42:30] How her family and friends responded to the diagnosis

                                        [43:18] Advice for people going through it now

                                        [48:23] Life as a mum of multiples

                                        [55:55] Getting better

                                        [56:59] Writing her book, 'The First Year Is Survival' / coaching mums

                                        [59:56] Support resources on Leonie's website and a final message


                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. The motherhood journey for us all is special - trust your instincts.
                                        2. Don't be afraid to ask for help - you are not a burden.
                                        3. Twins Trust (formerly TAMBA)
                                        4. Leonie Huie's website
                                        5. The First Year Is Survival


                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Join our Facebook Group

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 11 I follow up with Liz Wise (my first ever guest), this time to talk about her role as specialist postnatal depression counsellor with The Cedar House support group and charity.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: A really entertaining and moving chat with the amazing Leonie Huie BEM, author of 'The First Year is Survival'. Leonie found out she was pregnant unexpectedly - with twins! She talks about her early struggles as a new mum of multiples and the trauma of having to perform CPR on one of her daughters when she stopped breathing. When they subsequently ended up in hospital, Leonie was finally recognised as having postnatal depression - a lifechanging diagnosis for her.

                                        *TRIGGER WARNING: PERFORMING CPR ON HER BABY*

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Teaser quote

                                        [00:56] Introduction to Leonie

                                        [01:41] Life before pregnancy

                                        [02:45] Finding out she was unexpectedly pregnant - with twins!

                                        [10:11] Experiencing bad anxiety during the pregnancy

                                        [16:20] The birth - a c-section and hiphop

                                        [21:59] Skin-to-skin - no feeling of connection

                                        [22:48] Difficulties breastfeeding

                                        [30:24] Nobody diagnosed PND

                                        [31:38] Having to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on her baby daughter

                                        [34:23] Finding out she had postnatal depression

                                        [42:30] How her family and friends responded to the diagnosis

                                        [43:18] Advice for people going through it now

                                        [48:23] Life as a mum of multiples

                                        [55:55] Getting better

                                        [56:59] Writing her book, 'The First Year Is Survival' / coaching mums

                                        [59:56] Support resources on Leonie's website and a final message


                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. The motherhood journey for us all is special - trust your instincts.
                                        2. Don't be afraid to ask for help - you are not a burden.
                                        3. Twins Trust (formerly TAMBA)
                                        4. Leonie Huie's website
                                        5. The First Year Is Survival


                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Join our Facebook Group

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 11 I follow up with Liz Wise (my first ever guest), this time to talk about her role as specialist postnatal depression counsellor with The Cedar House support group and charity.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                        Email: info@apni.org

                                        Live chat online facility

                                         

                                        Best Beginnings

                                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                        and early stages of parenting.

                                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                        24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

                                        Birth Trauma Association

                                        Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                         

                                        CALM

                                        Contact CALM

                                        on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                         

                                        Cedar House Support Group

                                        Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                        Mobile: 07773 283556

                                         

                                        DadsNet 

                                        Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

                                         

                                        Fathers Reaching Out

                                        https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                        Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

                                         

                                        Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                        Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                         

                                         

                                        Maternal OCD

                                        Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                        arrange

                                         

                                        Muslim Women’s Network

                                        Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                        4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                        and Bengali.

                                        Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Text: 07415 206 936

                                         

                                        Netmums

                                        Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                        Clinic.

                                         

                                        NHS

                                        Contact your local GP surgery.

                                        Call the NHS on 111

                                        or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                        If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                         

                                        PANDAS

                                        Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                        Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                         

                                        Petals

                                        Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                        or baby loss.

                                        Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                        Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                        Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                         

                                        Samaritans

                                        Tel: 116 123

                                        (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                        Web: www.samaritans.org

                                        Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                         

                                        Shout

                                        Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                         

                                        Twins Trust

                                        Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                        the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                        Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                        alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                        Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                         

                                        Tommy’s

                                        Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                        Web: www.tommys.org

                                        Helpline: Tommy’s

                                        helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                        via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                        Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                         

                                        MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                        ]]>98c87f3a-ef81-436e-be5f-293d9bd477e3Mon, 21 Feb 2022 07:00:00 +010001:01:50falsefull1010Vikki Stephenson                                        The Daddy Blues: MARK WILLIAMS (Part 2)The Daddy Blues: MARK WILLIAMS (Part 2)The second part of my conversation with pioneering mental health campaigner Mark Williams, who has highlighted the need to include fathers in perinatal services.

                                        *TRIGGER WARNING: THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE*

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Teaser quote for this episode

                                        [00:32] Introduction to Mark Williams (part 2)

                                        [02:09] 1001 Days - significant phase for children and why it's important to included dad

                                        [04:21] Mark's guilt at not providing for his family, while caring for his wife and son

                                        [05:51] The progress made in including fathers

                                        [06:09] The importance of lived experience for men opening up - intrusive thoughts

                                        [07:31] The family events which triggered Mark's battle with mental health - impact on physical health

                                        [09:13] Coming clean and getting help

                                         [10:35] Setting up 'Fathers Reaching Out' support group

                                        [13:39] Early abuse and stigma in working in this field

                                        [15:07] Mark's relationship with son Ethan

                                        [16:30] No such thing as a perfect parent

                                        [19:35] Looking back - losing his mother-in-law

                                        [20:12] The support of Mark's wife, Michelle

                                        [21:04] "Post traumatic growth"

                                        [21:17] Mark's work with Dr Jane Hanley

                                        [22:30] Mark's writing including his book on father's postnatal depression

                                        [24:00] Anyone can contribute to helping parents - everybody's voice matters

                                        [26:30] Meeting someone special!

                                        [27:16] The positives of having been through this experience

                                        [30:06] Advice for dad's in need

                                        [32:52] Bonding - don't feel guilty if you don't have this in the early days, it will come


                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. The first 1001 Days (from pregnancy to the first 2 years of a child's life) have been proven as a significant and influential phase in their development. What happens during this time lays the foundation for their future wellbeing.
                                        2. It's a myth that men don't open up.
                                        3. Men can act out their distress in harmful ways - drinking heavily, aggression.
                                        4. Dr Jane Hanley
                                        5. Mark's 'Daddy Blues' book
                                        6. Baby Buddy App
                                        7. The Hub of Hope - database of local support resources
                                        8. Communicate with each other - be honest with your partner about how you are feeling.
                                        9. Mark's TED talk on the importance of father’s mental health.
                                        10. You can contact Mark here: Mark's website
                                        11. Fathers Reaching Out

                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Join our Facebook Group

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 10 Leonie Huie BEM opens up about...]]>The second part of my conversation with pioneering mental health campaigner Mark Williams, who has highlighted the need to include fathers in perinatal services.

                                        *TRIGGER WARNING: THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE*

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Teaser quote for this episode

                                        [00:32] Introduction to Mark Williams (part 2)

                                        [02:09] 1001 Days - significant phase for children and why it's important to included dad

                                        [04:21] Mark's guilt at not providing for his family, while caring for his wife and son

                                        [05:51] The progress made in including fathers

                                        [06:09] The importance of lived experience for men opening up - intrusive thoughts

                                        [07:31] The family events which triggered Mark's battle with mental health - impact on physical health

                                        [09:13] Coming clean and getting help

                                         [10:35] Setting up 'Fathers Reaching Out' support group

                                        [13:39] Early abuse and stigma in working in this field

                                        [15:07] Mark's relationship with son Ethan

                                        [16:30] No such thing as a perfect parent

                                        [19:35] Looking back - losing his mother-in-law

                                        [20:12] The support of Mark's wife, Michelle

                                        [21:04] "Post traumatic growth"

                                        [21:17] Mark's work with Dr Jane Hanley

                                        [22:30] Mark's writing including his book on father's postnatal depression

                                        [24:00] Anyone can contribute to helping parents - everybody's voice matters

                                        [26:30] Meeting someone special!

                                        [27:16] The positives of having been through this experience

                                        [30:06] Advice for dad's in need

                                        [32:52] Bonding - don't feel guilty if you don't have this in the early days, it will come


                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. The first 1001 Days (from pregnancy to the first 2 years of a child's life) have been proven as a significant and influential phase in their development. What happens during this time lays the foundation for their future wellbeing.
                                        2. It's a myth that men don't open up.
                                        3. Men can act out their distress in harmful ways - drinking heavily, aggression.
                                        4. Dr Jane Hanley
                                        5. Mark's 'Daddy Blues' book
                                        6. Baby Buddy App
                                        7. The Hub of Hope - database of local support resources
                                        8. Communicate with each other - be honest with your partner about how you are feeling.
                                        9. Mark's TED talk on the importance of father’s mental health.
                                        10. You can contact Mark here: Mark's website
                                        11. Fathers Reaching Out

                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.

                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Join our Facebook Group

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 10 Leonie Huie BEM opens up about navigating postnatal depression whilst mothering twin girls.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                        Email: info@apni.org

                                        Live chat online facility

                                         

                                        Best Beginnings

                                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                        and early stages of parenting.

                                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                        24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

                                        Birth Trauma Association

                                        Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                         

                                        CALM

                                        Contact CALM

                                        on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                         

                                        Cedar House Support Group

                                        Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                        Mobile: 07773 283556

                                         

                                        DadsNet 

                                        Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

                                         

                                        Fathers Reaching Out

                                        https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                        Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

                                         

                                        Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                        Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                         

                                         

                                        Maternal OCD

                                        Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                        arrange

                                         

                                        Muslim Women’s Network

                                        Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                        4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                        and Bengali.

                                        Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Text: 07415 206 936

                                         

                                        Netmums

                                        Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                        Clinic.

                                         

                                        NHS

                                        Contact your local GP surgery.

                                        Call the NHS on 111

                                        or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                        If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                         

                                        PANDAS

                                        Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                        Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                         

                                        Petals

                                        Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                        or baby loss.

                                        Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                        Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                        Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                         

                                        Samaritans

                                        Tel: 116 123

                                        (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                        Web: www.samaritans.org

                                        Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                         

                                        Shout

                                        Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                         

                                        Twins Trust

                                        Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                        the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                        Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                        alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                        Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                         

                                        Tommy’s

                                        Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                        Web: www.tommys.org

                                        Helpline: Tommy’s

                                        helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                        via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                        Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                         

                                        MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                        ]]>52c656ab-bbba-4c0a-b546-ced0aea43429Mon, 14 Feb 2022 00:15:00 +010034:05falsefull99Vikki Stephenson                                        The Daddy Blues: MARK WILLIAMS (Part 1)The Daddy Blues: MARK WILLIAMS (Part 1)I chat to pioneering parental mental health campaigner and author Mark Williams. In this first part, Mark talks about the traumatic birth of his son which triggered postnatal depression in both his wife and himself.  We discuss the added stigma of fathers struggling and the pressure put on men to “man up”.

                                        *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA/THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE/ALCOHOL ABUSE*

                                        

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Introduction to Mark Williams (part 1)

                                        [01:36] Ethan’s birth – from positive beginnings to emergency C-Section

                                        [02:43] Mark's first panic attack, in the labour word

                                        [04:38] Where was the ‘rush of love’? 

                                        [06:11] Getting home – masking emotions

                                        [07:11] Lack of support and education for new dads.

                                        [07:38] The pressure of being brought up to be tough and "man up"

                                        [09:50] Michelle diagnosed with PND *TRIGGER WARNING*

                                        [12:12] Giving up work to look after his family

                                        [13:38] The impact on Mark's mental health

                                        [16:11] Changes to Mark's personality - suicidal thoughts *TRIGGER WARNING*

                                        [18:01] Alcohol abuse and anger - ways of trying to 'cope'

                                        [19:41] The barriers stopping Mark getting help - the affect on his job, social services

                                        [20:47] Support available from employers - greater awareness

                                        [22:14] Mark's research into the importance of fathers’ mental health and the need for early intervention

                                        [23:29] Suicide risks in men *TRIGGER WARNING*

                                        [24:02] Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - requires different treatment

                                        [24:45] Postnatal Depression in men - including hormonal changes

                                         

                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. 1 in 10 dads suffer with their mental health after their child is born. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
                                        2. The quicker you get help, the quicker your recovery. Reach out, help is available.
                                        3. Early intervention is crucial - for the whole family.
                                        4. Men can experience hormonal changes during the perinatal period.
                                        5. Mark's TED talk on the importance of father’s mental health.
                                        6. Mark's work with Dr Andrew Mayers
                                        7. Contact Mark here: Mark's website
                                        8. Fathers Reaching Out - support for dads

                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Join our Facebook Group

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 9, pioneering paternal mental health champion Mark Williams tells me more about his life's work campaigning for and supporting fathers during the perinatal period.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        I chat to pioneering parental mental health campaigner and author Mark Williams. In this first part, Mark talks about the traumatic birth of his son which triggered postnatal depression in both his wife and himself.  We discuss the added stigma of fathers struggling and the pressure put on men to “man up”.

                                        *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA/THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE/ALCOHOL ABUSE*

                                        

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Introduction to Mark Williams (part 1)

                                        [01:36] Ethan’s birth – from positive beginnings to emergency C-Section

                                        [02:43] Mark's first panic attack, in the labour word

                                        [04:38] Where was the ‘rush of love’? 

                                        [06:11] Getting home – masking emotions

                                        [07:11] Lack of support and education for new dads.

                                        [07:38] The pressure of being brought up to be tough and "man up"

                                        [09:50] Michelle diagnosed with PND *TRIGGER WARNING*

                                        [12:12] Giving up work to look after his family

                                        [13:38] The impact on Mark's mental health

                                        [16:11] Changes to Mark's personality - suicidal thoughts *TRIGGER WARNING*

                                        [18:01] Alcohol abuse and anger - ways of trying to 'cope'

                                        [19:41] The barriers stopping Mark getting help - the affect on his job, social services

                                        [20:47] Support available from employers - greater awareness

                                        [22:14] Mark's research into the importance of fathers’ mental health and the need for early intervention

                                        [23:29] Suicide risks in men *TRIGGER WARNING*

                                        [24:02] Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - requires different treatment

                                        [24:45] Postnatal Depression in men - including hormonal changes

                                         

                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. 1 in 10 dads suffer with their mental health after their child is born. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
                                        2. The quicker you get help, the quicker your recovery. Reach out, help is available.
                                        3. Early intervention is crucial - for the whole family.
                                        4. Men can experience hormonal changes during the perinatal period.
                                        5. Mark's TED talk on the importance of father’s mental health.
                                        6. Mark's work with Dr Andrew Mayers
                                        7. Contact Mark here: Mark's website
                                        8. Fathers Reaching Out - support for dads

                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Join our Facebook Group

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 9, pioneering paternal mental health champion Mark Williams tells me more about his life's work campaigning for and supporting fathers during the perinatal period.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                        Email: info@apni.org

                                        Live chat online facility

                                         

                                        Best Beginnings

                                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                        and early stages of parenting.

                                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                        24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

                                        Birth Trauma Association

                                        Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                         

                                        CALM

                                        Contact CALM

                                        on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                         

                                        Cedar House Support Group

                                        Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                        Mobile: 07773 283556

                                         

                                        DadsNet 

                                        Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.

                                         

                                        Fathers Reaching Out

                                        https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                        Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.

                                         

                                        Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                        Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                         

                                         

                                        Maternal OCD

                                        Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                        arrange

                                         

                                        Muslim Women’s Network

                                        Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                        4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                        and Bengali.

                                        Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Text: 07415 206 936

                                         

                                        Netmums

                                        Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                        Clinic.

                                         

                                        NHS

                                        Contact your local GP surgery.

                                        Call the NHS on 111

                                        or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                        If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                         

                                        PANDAS

                                        Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                        Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                         

                                        Petals

                                        Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                        or baby loss.

                                        Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                        Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                        Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                         

                                        Samaritans

                                        Tel: 116 123

                                        (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                        Web: www.samaritans.org

                                        Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                         

                                        Shout

                                        Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                         

                                        Twins Trust

                                        Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                        the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                        Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                        alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                        Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                         

                                        Tommy’s

                                        Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                        Web: www.tommys.org

                                        Helpline: Tommy’s

                                        helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                        via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                        Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                         

                                        MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                        ]]>d835dac4-0e38-42f1-b90f-4f7f2ebd8b38Mon, 07 Feb 2022 08:40:00 +010031:23falsefull88Vikki Stephenson                                        Helping Mums Help Themselves: NAOMI BUFFERY (Part 2)Helping Mums Help Themselves: NAOMI BUFFERY (Part 2)I continue my chat with inspiring maternal mental health specialist Naomi Buffery. In this part we discuss her mission to empower other mums to beat anxiety and depression, following her own experience of PND.

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Teaser quote

                                        [00:51] Introduction to Naomi Buffery (part 2)

                                        [01:21] Naomi's mission: the need for honest conversations around motherhood

                                        [05:30] Standing in the shower, thinking of running away

                                        [06:44] Meeting an anxiety coach - "it changed my life"

                                        [08:59] CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)

                                        [09:53] Mums need mentors

                                        [13:25] Where to find Naomi

                                        [14:19] Looking back - the positives of living through PND

                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. Most mums have some difficulty adjusting to motherhood - not just those with PND.
                                        2. The instinct to 'run away' is a very common experience and a reaction to overwhelm.
                                        3. Mums need to be emotionally prepared for motherhood during pregnancy.
                                        4. Naomi's TED talk - on the need for women to be empowered during childbirth.
                                        5. https://naomibuffery.com/ - where you can get in touch with Naomi.


                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 8 I talk paternal mental health with writer, speaker and campaigner Mark Williams, whose battle with postnatal depression left him feeling suicidal.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                        Email: info@apni.org

                                        Live chat online facility

                                         

                                        Best Beginnings

                                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                        and early stages of parenting.

                                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based...]]>I continue my chat with inspiring maternal mental health specialist Naomi Buffery. In this part we discuss her mission to empower other mums to beat anxiety and depression, following her own experience of PND.

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Teaser quote

                                        [00:51] Introduction to Naomi Buffery (part 2)

                                        [01:21] Naomi's mission: the need for honest conversations around motherhood

                                        [05:30] Standing in the shower, thinking of running away

                                        [06:44] Meeting an anxiety coach - "it changed my life"

                                        [08:59] CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)

                                        [09:53] Mums need mentors

                                        [13:25] Where to find Naomi

                                        [14:19] Looking back - the positives of living through PND

                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. Most mums have some difficulty adjusting to motherhood - not just those with PND.
                                        2. The instinct to 'run away' is a very common experience and a reaction to overwhelm.
                                        3. Mums need to be emotionally prepared for motherhood during pregnancy.
                                        4. Naomi's TED talk - on the need for women to be empowered during childbirth.
                                        5. https://naomibuffery.com/ - where you can get in touch with Naomi.


                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 8 I talk paternal mental health with writer, speaker and campaigner Mark Williams, whose battle with postnatal depression left him feeling suicidal.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                        Email: info@apni.org

                                        Live chat online facility

                                         

                                        Best Beginnings

                                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                        and early stages of parenting.

                                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                        24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                        Birth Trauma Association

                                        Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                                        CALM

                                        Contact CALM

                                        on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                         

                                        Cedar House Support Group

                                        Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                        Mobile: 07773 283556

                                         

                                        DadsNet 

                                        Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                        Fathers Reaching Out

                                        https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                        Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                        Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                        Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org



                                        Maternal OCD

                                        Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                        arrange

                                         

                                        Muslim Women’s Network

                                        Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                        4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                        and Bengali.

                                        Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Text: 07415 206 936

                                         

                                        Netmums

                                        Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                        Clinic.

                                         

                                        NHS

                                        Contact your local GP surgery.

                                        Call the NHS on 111

                                        or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                        If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                         

                                        PANDAS

                                        Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                        Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                                        Petals

                                        Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                        or baby loss.

                                        Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                        Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                        Tel: 0300 688 0068


                                        Samaritans

                                        Tel: 116 123

                                        (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                        Web: www.samaritans.org

                                        Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                         

                                        Shout

                                        Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                         

                                        Twins Trust

                                        Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                        the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                        Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                        alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                        Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                         

                                        Tommy’s

                                        Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                        Web: www.tommys.org

                                        Helpline: Tommy’s

                                        helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                        via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                        Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                         

                                        MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                        ]]>cb8ee77f-6c2e-43d3-83b1-d6f2ae4ba385Mon, 31 Jan 2022 00:30:00 +010018:34falsefull77Vikki Stephenson                                        The Self-Compassion Episode: POONAM DHUFFER (Part 2)The Self-Compassion Episode: POONAM DHUFFER (Part 2)Wellbeing Practitioner Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8 talks self-compassion and being kind to yourself, in the second part of this 'Blue Monday' special.

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Teaser quote

                                        [00:55] Introduction to Poonam Dhuffer (Part 2)

                                        [01:15] The loop of negative thought and worry - let it go

                                        [04:00] Understanding triggers and not being afraid to ask for support

                                        [05:13] Naming the feeling and not repressing it

                                        [06:45] The importance of moving our bodies - finding a rhythm that works for you

                                        [10:27] Why it's good to talk to your baby - for you and for them

                                        [11:22] The benefits of a power song - get your little one involved!

                                        [13:07] Give yourself permission to do something just for you

                                        [13:42] Have some non-judgemental people available as a support system, who you can call on

                                        [15:13] Take 10 minutes to yourself to unwind or recharge

                                        [16:12] Keep track of self-critical talk

                                        [17:44] The power of breathing - visualising an equal square

                                        [19:44] Reframing the words you use - "I'm learning, I'm growing"

                                        [21:17] Poonam's background of social anxiety and panic attacks

                                        [22:16] The Loving Kindness Meditation (see bonus episode)

                                        [30:55] How to get in touch with Poonam

                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. We're human, we're going to worry - but try to rein it in so it doesn't consume you.
                                        2. Ask for support if you need it - it can make all the difference.
                                        3. Naming how you are feeling can be helpful. If we repress it, it will seep out eventually.
                                        4. Going for a mindful walk or dancing to your favourite song can really help balance your nervous system and take you away from your worry.
                                        5. Engage in a quick, energising dance if you're feeling low or sluggish. Have a kitchen disco with your little one!
                                        6. Who can you call on as a support network? Who will listen without judgement?
                                        7. Take 10 minutes for yourself at the end of each day.
                                        8. Keep track of self critical talk - what can you rephrase or reframe?
                                        9. When worrying, return to the breath - 5 inhales in, 5 exhales out.
                                        10. Positive affirmations can be surprisingly powerful. Try to say the words with sincerity.
                                        11. Dr. Kristin Neff - https://self-compassion.org/ / TED talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4
                                        12. Get in touch with Poonam Dhuffer here - https://www.ysm8.co.uk/


                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 7 I continue my chat with inspiring maternal mental health specialist Naomi Buffery, on her own experience of PND and her mission to empower other mums to beat anxiety and depression.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click Wellbeing Practitioner Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8 talks self-compassion and being kind to yourself, in the second part of this 'Blue Monday' special.

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:00] Teaser quote

                                        [00:55] Introduction to Poonam Dhuffer (Part 2)

                                        [01:15] The loop of negative thought and worry - let it go

                                        [04:00] Understanding triggers and not being afraid to ask for support

                                        [05:13] Naming the feeling and not repressing it

                                        [06:45] The importance of moving our bodies - finding a rhythm that works for you

                                        [10:27] Why it's good to talk to your baby - for you and for them

                                        [11:22] The benefits of a power song - get your little one involved!

                                        [13:07] Give yourself permission to do something just for you

                                        [13:42] Have some non-judgemental people available as a support system, who you can call on

                                        [15:13] Take 10 minutes to yourself to unwind or recharge

                                        [16:12] Keep track of self-critical talk

                                        [17:44] The power of breathing - visualising an equal square

                                        [19:44] Reframing the words you use - "I'm learning, I'm growing"

                                        [21:17] Poonam's background of social anxiety and panic attacks

                                        [22:16] The Loving Kindness Meditation (see bonus episode)

                                        [30:55] How to get in touch with Poonam

                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. We're human, we're going to worry - but try to rein it in so it doesn't consume you.
                                        2. Ask for support if you need it - it can make all the difference.
                                        3. Naming how you are feeling can be helpful. If we repress it, it will seep out eventually.
                                        4. Going for a mindful walk or dancing to your favourite song can really help balance your nervous system and take you away from your worry.
                                        5. Engage in a quick, energising dance if you're feeling low or sluggish. Have a kitchen disco with your little one!
                                        6. Who can you call on as a support network? Who will listen without judgement?
                                        7. Take 10 minutes for yourself at the end of each day.
                                        8. Keep track of self critical talk - what can you rephrase or reframe?
                                        9. When worrying, return to the breath - 5 inhales in, 5 exhales out.
                                        10. Positive affirmations can be surprisingly powerful. Try to say the words with sincerity.
                                        11. Dr. Kristin Neff - https://self-compassion.org/ / TED talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4
                                        12. Get in touch with Poonam Dhuffer here - https://www.ysm8.co.uk/


                                        If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 7 I continue my chat with inspiring maternal mental health specialist Naomi Buffery, on her own experience of PND and her mission to empower other mums to beat anxiety and depression.

                                         

                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                        Email: info@apni.org

                                        Live chat online facility

                                         

                                        Best Beginnings

                                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                        and early stages of parenting.

                                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                        24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                        Birth Trauma Association

                                        Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                                        CALM

                                        Contact CALM

                                        on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                         

                                        Cedar House Support Group

                                        Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                        Mobile: 07773 283556

                                         

                                        DadsNet 

                                        Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                        Fathers Reaching Out

                                        https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                        Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                        Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                        Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org



                                        Maternal OCD

                                        Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                        arrange

                                         

                                        Muslim Women’s Network

                                        Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                        4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                        and Bengali.

                                        Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Text: 07415 206 936

                                         

                                        Netmums

                                        Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                        Clinic.

                                         

                                        NHS

                                        Contact your local GP surgery.

                                        Call the NHS on 111

                                        or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                        If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                         

                                        PANDAS

                                        Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                        Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                                        Petals

                                        Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                        or baby loss.

                                        Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                        Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                        Tel: 0300 688 0068


                                        Samaritans

                                        Tel: 116 123

                                        (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                        Web: www.samaritans.org

                                        Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                         

                                        Shout

                                        Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                         

                                        Twins Trust

                                        Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                        the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                        Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                        alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                        Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                         

                                        Tommy’s

                                        Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                        Web: www.tommys.org

                                        Helpline: Tommy’s

                                        helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                        via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                        Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                         

                                        MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                        ]]>db5e1bf3-3456-48cb-9eeb-e48738d5b80dMon, 24 Jan 2022 03:00:00 +010032:35falsefull66Vikki Stephenson                                        Loving Kindness MeditationLoving Kindness MeditationA soothing, restorative 15 minute Loving Kindness Meditation, to help you relax and reset.

                                        Created especially for us by Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8, this practice has self-compassion at its heart.

                                        As a new mum I suffered terribly from self-criticism, anxiety, negative thoughts and insomnia - this is what I wished I'd had back then.

                                        You can listen any time, as many times as you need - whenever you want to take 15 minutes out, just for yourself. To soothe and calm, or even help you to unwind and sleep.

                                        For those times at 3am when you feel like you're the only one awake. Or those times when baby is asleep but you are too wired or fretful to sleep yourself.

                                        There is no right or wrong way to do this meditation. It doesn't matter if you fall asleep - in fact, great! - and it doesn't matter if thoughts start flooding into your mind. This is normal - just let them come and go, passing like clouds.


                                        YOU DESERVE THIS.

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

                                        YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

                                        YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.


                                        SOUNDSCAPE by Matthew Stephenson, https://www.mattjstep.com/


                                         If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 6 we chat further with Poonam on practical tips for developing self-compassion.


                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                        Email: info@apni.org

                                        Live chat online facility

                                         

                                        Best Beginnings

                                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                        and early stages of parenting.

                                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                        24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                        A soothing, restorative 15 minute Loving Kindness Meditation, to help you relax and reset.

                                        Created especially for us by Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8, this practice has self-compassion at its heart.

                                        As a new mum I suffered terribly from self-criticism, anxiety, negative thoughts and insomnia - this is what I wished I'd had back then.

                                        You can listen any time, as many times as you need - whenever you want to take 15 minutes out, just for yourself. To soothe and calm, or even help you to unwind and sleep.

                                        For those times at 3am when you feel like you're the only one awake. Or those times when baby is asleep but you are too wired or fretful to sleep yourself.

                                        There is no right or wrong way to do this meditation. It doesn't matter if you fall asleep - in fact, great! - and it doesn't matter if thoughts start flooding into your mind. This is normal - just let them come and go, passing like clouds.


                                        YOU DESERVE THIS.

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

                                        YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

                                        YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.


                                        SOUNDSCAPE by Matthew Stephenson, https://www.mattjstep.com/


                                         If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 6 we chat further with Poonam on practical tips for developing self-compassion.


                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        Association of Postnatal Illness

                                        Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                        Email: info@apni.org

                                        Live chat online facility

                                         

                                        Best Beginnings

                                        Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                        evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                        and early stages of parenting.

                                        App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                        24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                        Birth Trauma Association

                                        Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                                        CALM

                                        Contact CALM

                                        on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                         

                                        Cedar House Support Group

                                        Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                        Mobile: 07773 283556

                                         

                                        DadsNet 

                                        Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                        Fathers Reaching Out

                                        https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                        Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                        Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                        Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org



                                        Maternal OCD

                                        Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                        arrange

                                         

                                        Muslim Women’s Network

                                        Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                        4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                        and Bengali.

                                        Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                        Text: 07415 206 936

                                         

                                        Netmums

                                        Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                        Clinic.

                                         

                                        NHS

                                        Contact your local GP surgery.

                                        Call the NHS on 111

                                        or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                        If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                         

                                        PANDAS

                                        Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                        Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                                        Petals

                                        Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                        or baby loss.

                                        Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                        Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                        Tel: 0300 688 0068


                                        Samaritans

                                        Tel: 116 123

                                        (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                        Web: www.samaritans.org

                                        Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                         

                                        Shout

                                        Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                         

                                        Twins Trust

                                        Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                        the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                        Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                        alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                        Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                         

                                        Tommy’s

                                        Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                        Web: www.tommys.org

                                        Helpline: Tommy’s

                                        helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                        via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                        Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                         

                                        ]]>24bda5d6-e287-430d-b3a7-732716eba9feWed, 19 Jan 2022 09:00:00 +010015:06falsebonusVikki Stephenson                                        The Self-Compassion Episode: POONAM DHUFFER (Part 1)The Self-Compassion Episode: POONAM DHUFFER (Part 1)Wellbeing Practitioner Poonam Dhuffer of YSM8 talks self-compassion and being kind to yourself, in the first part of this 'Blue Monday' special.

                                        IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                        [00:17] Introduction to Poonam Dhuffer

                                        [01:20] What actually is self-compassion?

                                        [05:05] The research behind the theory

                                        [06:10] The danger of negative self-talk - the 'Hag'!

                                        [07:40] Poonam's own experience - anxiety and panic attacks

                                        [09:50] Words have power and energy

                                        [11:37] Comparison culture - competitive parenting / striving for perfection

                                        [13:21] We're not taught about emotional regulation

                                        [16:44] Reframing - opportunities for growth and learning

                                        [19:31] It's an ongoing process, let the feelings flow

                                        [21:00] The 3 core components of self-compassion (Dr Kristin Neff)

                                        [23:44] Cultivating Mindfulness

                                        [25:13] The affect on our body

                                        [30:52] How 'being in the now' helps anxiety

                                        [32:48] Control

                                        [34:20] Focus on the good stuff

                                        [36:07] Being true to what's right for you

                                        [40:18] YOU ARE ENOUGH

                                        KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                        1. Looking after yourself is not an act of selfishness or weakness.
                                        2. If we can't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others?
                                        3. Dr. Kristin Neff - https://self-compassion.org/ / TED talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4
                                        4. The 3 core components of self-compassion: Self Kindness over Self Judgement, Common Humanity vs. Isolation and Mindfulness over Identification.
                                        5. Thoughts are like passing clouds, we are not defined by them or our emotions.
                                        6. Words are powerful - they can have a profound affect on your body. Make sure yours are positive and kind.
                                        7. The more you practice self-compassion, the more habitual it becomes.
                                        8. Get in touch with Poonam Dhuffer here - https://www.ysm8.co.uk/

                                         If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                        Follow us:

                                        Instagram

                                        Twitter

                                        Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                         

                                        NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                        In Episode 6 we chat further with Poonam on practical tips for developing self-compassion.


                                        SUPPORT:

                                        If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                        YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                        We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                         

                                        Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                        Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                        Email: app@app-network.org

                                        Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                         

                                        Andy's Man Club

                                        A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                        https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                        Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                        https://self-compassion.org/ / TED talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4

                                      13. The 3 core components of self-compassion: Self Kindness over Self Judgement, Common Humanity vs. Isolation and Mindfulness over Identification.
                                      14. Thoughts are like passing clouds, we are not defined by them or our emotions.
                                      15. Words are powerful - they can have a profound affect on your body. Make sure yours are positive and kind.
                                      16. The more you practice self-compassion, the more habitual it becomes.
                                      17. Get in touch with Poonam Dhuffer here - https://www.ysm8.co.uk/

                                       If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 6 we chat further with Poonam on practical tips for developing self-compassion.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                      YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                      We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                       

                                      Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                      Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                      Email: app@app-network.org

                                      Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                       

                                      Andy's Man Club

                                      A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                      https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                      Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                      Association of Postnatal Illness

                                      Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                      Email: info@apni.org

                                      Live chat online facility

                                       

                                      Best Beginnings

                                      Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                      evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                      and early stages of parenting.

                                      App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                      24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                      Birth Trauma Association

                                      Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                                      CALM

                                      Contact CALM

                                      on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                       

                                      Cedar House Support Group

                                      Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                      Mobile: 07773 283556

                                       

                                      DadsNet 

                                      Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                      Fathers Reaching Out

                                      https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                      Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                      Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                      Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org



                                      Maternal OCD

                                      Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                      arrange

                                       

                                      Muslim Women’s Network

                                      Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                      4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                      and Bengali.

                                      Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Text: 07415 206 936

                                       

                                      Netmums

                                      Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                      Clinic.

                                       

                                      NHS

                                      Contact your local GP surgery.

                                      Call the NHS on 111

                                      or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                      If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                       

                                      PANDAS

                                      Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                      Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                                      Petals

                                      Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                      or baby loss.

                                      Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                      Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                      Tel: 0300 688 0068


                                      Samaritans

                                      Tel: 116 123

                                      (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                      Web: www.samaritans.org

                                      Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                       

                                      Shout

                                      Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                       

                                      Twins Trust

                                      Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                      the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                      Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                      alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                      Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                       

                                      Tommy’s

                                      Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                      Web: www.tommys.org

                                      Helpline: Tommy’s

                                      helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                      via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                      Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                       

                                      MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                      ]]>487cc870-b565-4baa-bc1d-77558d271d47Mon, 17 Jan 2022 01:00:00 +010043:00falsefull55Vikki Stephenson                                      I had to be the best, or else I was a failure: NAOMI BUFFERY (Part 1)I had to be the best, or else I was a failure: NAOMI BUFFERY (Part 1)I talk to inspiring maternal mental health specialist Naomi Buffery, on her own experience of PND. In Part 2 we'll discuss how she's on a mission to empower other mums to beat anxiety and depression. But in this episode we learn how hard it was for Naomi navigating early motherhood, following a traumatic birth.

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA*

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:17] Introduction to Naomi Buffery.

                                      [00:48] Naomi before pregnancy - generalised anxiety.

                                      [03:56] Finding out she was pregnant - "I'm going to fix myself with him".

                                      [05:14] The 'perfect' mum - putting pressure on ourselves.

                                      [07:25] When expectations don't match reality - comparing ourselves to unrealistic ideals.

                                      [09:22] Today's mums - lack of family support/societal pressure/the danger of Google.

                                      [12:52] Concerns about developing PND - Naomi's previous breakdown, losing her mum early.

                                      [15:46] The birth - being induced. Feelings of trauma. Knocked out on drugs.

                                      [18:56] Not being listened to during the birth.

                                      [20:40] Grieving for the birth you never had. Feeling numb.

                                      [22:15] How this impacted on her decision not to have another child.

                                      [26:45] The need for mums to put themselves first.

                                      [27:21] After the birth - mood swings. Feeling alone.

                                      [30:18] Coming home - overwhelm. Breastfeeding difficulties.

                                      [36:50] Feeling like a failure for giving up breastfeeding.

                                      [37:51] Going to baby groups when you don't want to leave the house.

                                      [40:51] Feelings of being judged.

                                      [42:54] Bonding issues - how Naomi worked hard to build that bond, without the 'rush of love'.


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. We mums put ourselves under tremendous pressure to be perfect, yet parenting is chaotic - besides, you can't be perfect at something you've never done before!
                                      2. Trust your own instincts - avoid obsessive Google-ing (it can make you feel anxious) and believe in your own decisions. You will get to know your baby better than anyone.
                                      3. Anxiety releases adrenalin which can inhibit oxytocin, which can in turn affect your milk supply - so if you've had a traumatic or stressful birth, don't beat yourself up if you struggle with breastfeeding. If you are finding it hard, please don't be afraid to ask for help.
                                      4. If you want or need to stop breastfeeding, do not feel guilty. Do what's right for you.
                                      5. If you didn't bond with your baby in the beginning, it doesn't mean it will adversely affect your relationship going forward. Society tells us to expect a rush of love, but for many parents, it's a gradual build up.
                                      6. Pram Chorus - friendly daytime choir for parents/carers with young children.
                                      7. Naomi's TED talk - on the need for women to be empowered during childbirth.
                                      8. https://naomibuffery.com/ - where you can get in touch with Naomi.


                                       If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 5 we continue our chat with Naomi, who has used her experience to empower, mentor and emotionally prepare mums for motherhood through her work as a maternal mental health coach.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling]]>I talk to inspiring maternal mental health specialist Naomi Buffery, on her own experience of PND. In Part 2 we'll discuss how she's on a mission to empower other mums to beat anxiety and depression. But in this episode we learn how hard it was for Naomi navigating early motherhood, following a traumatic birth.

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA*

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:17] Introduction to Naomi Buffery.

                                      [00:48] Naomi before pregnancy - generalised anxiety.

                                      [03:56] Finding out she was pregnant - "I'm going to fix myself with him".

                                      [05:14] The 'perfect' mum - putting pressure on ourselves.

                                      [07:25] When expectations don't match reality - comparing ourselves to unrealistic ideals.

                                      [09:22] Today's mums - lack of family support/societal pressure/the danger of Google.

                                      [12:52] Concerns about developing PND - Naomi's previous breakdown, losing her mum early.

                                      [15:46] The birth - being induced. Feelings of trauma. Knocked out on drugs.

                                      [18:56] Not being listened to during the birth.

                                      [20:40] Grieving for the birth you never had. Feeling numb.

                                      [22:15] How this impacted on her decision not to have another child.

                                      [26:45] The need for mums to put themselves first.

                                      [27:21] After the birth - mood swings. Feeling alone.

                                      [30:18] Coming home - overwhelm. Breastfeeding difficulties.

                                      [36:50] Feeling like a failure for giving up breastfeeding.

                                      [37:51] Going to baby groups when you don't want to leave the house.

                                      [40:51] Feelings of being judged.

                                      [42:54] Bonding issues - how Naomi worked hard to build that bond, without the 'rush of love'.


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. We mums put ourselves under tremendous pressure to be perfect, yet parenting is chaotic - besides, you can't be perfect at something you've never done before!
                                      2. Trust your own instincts - avoid obsessive Google-ing (it can make you feel anxious) and believe in your own decisions. You will get to know your baby better than anyone.
                                      3. Anxiety releases adrenalin which can inhibit oxytocin, which can in turn affect your milk supply - so if you've had a traumatic or stressful birth, don't beat yourself up if you struggle with breastfeeding. If you are finding it hard, please don't be afraid to ask for help.
                                      4. If you want or need to stop breastfeeding, do not feel guilty. Do what's right for you.
                                      5. If you didn't bond with your baby in the beginning, it doesn't mean it will adversely affect your relationship going forward. Society tells us to expect a rush of love, but for many parents, it's a gradual build up.
                                      6. Pram Chorus - friendly daytime choir for parents/carers with young children.
                                      7. Naomi's TED talk - on the need for women to be empowered during childbirth.
                                      8. https://naomibuffery.com/ - where you can get in touch with Naomi.


                                       If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 5 we continue our chat with Naomi, who has used her experience to empower, mentor and emotionally prepare mums for motherhood through her work as a maternal mental health coach.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                      YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                      We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                       

                                      Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                      Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                      Email: app@app-network.org

                                      Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                       

                                      Andy's Man Club

                                      A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                      https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                      Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                      Association of Postnatal Illness

                                      Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                      Email: info@apni.org

                                      Live chat online facility

                                       

                                      Best Beginnings

                                      Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                      evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                      and early stages of parenting.

                                      App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                      24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                      Birth Trauma Association

                                      Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                                      CALM

                                      Contact CALM

                                      on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                       

                                      Cedar House Support Group

                                      Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                      Mobile: 07773 283556

                                       

                                      DadsNet 

                                      Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                      Fathers Reaching Out

                                      https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                      Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                      Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                      Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org



                                      Maternal OCD

                                      Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                      arrange

                                       

                                      Muslim Women’s Network

                                      Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                      4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                      and Bengali.

                                      Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Text: 07415 206 936

                                       

                                      Netmums

                                      Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                      Clinic.

                                       

                                      NHS

                                      Contact your local GP surgery.

                                      Call the NHS on 111

                                      or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                      If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                       

                                      PANDAS

                                      Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                      Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                                      Petals

                                      Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                      or baby loss.

                                      Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                      Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                      Tel: 0300 688 0068


                                      Samaritans

                                      Tel: 116 123

                                      (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                      Web: www.samaritans.org

                                      Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                       

                                      Shout

                                      Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                       

                                      Twins Trust

                                      Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                      the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                      Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                      alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                      Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                       

                                      Tommy’s

                                      Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                      Web: www.tommys.org

                                      Helpline: Tommy’s

                                      helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                      via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                      Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                       

                                      MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                      ]]>4be647ca-4857-43df-8cc8-26ee533d007dMon, 10 Jan 2022 03:00:00 +010048:52falsefull44Vikki Stephenson                                      Dads Suffer Too. I Had PTSD after my daughter's Traumatic Birth: ELLIOTT RAEDads Suffer Too. I Had PTSD after my daughter's Traumatic Birth: ELLIOTT RAEWith 1 in 10 dads suffering after the birth of their baby, Elliott Rae of 'Music, Football, Fatherhood' talks about his PTSD, following the traumatic birth of his daughter. Elliott went on to found MFF (the "Dad's version of Mumsnet") to change the narrative on what it means to be a father. He has gone on to become one of the UK’s most prominent speakers on fatherhood, masculinity and mental health. Despite the serious subject matter, it was an incredibly inspiring, joyful and profound conversation. By chance, this episode was recorded on World Suicide Prevention Day, 2021.

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA, SUICIDE RATES*


                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:40] Introduction to Elliott Rae

                                      [02:11] The stigma of postnatal illness in fathers

                                      [03:08] Elliott before fatherhood - from playing bass in a band to youth and D&I work

                                      [05:55] The pregnancy and discovering his wife had Group B Strep

                                      [09:00] The birth - from calm beginnings to concerns for their daughter

                                      [11:50] Shock - like an outer body experience

                                      [12:23] Elliott's dilemma - should he follow his daughter to intensive care or stay with his wife?

                                      [12:51] Snapping out of his daze - "Fatherhood started there and then"

                                      [13:39] Feelings of helplessness and not feeling prepared

                                      [17:52] Further complications - the need for an emergency MRI scan

                                      [21:03] Coming home from the hospital

                                      [21:49] Elliott's wife diagnosed with Postnatal Anxiety

                                      [24:22] Realising he needed help too

                                      [25:01] Reliving events - how their daughter's severe wheat allergy triggered PTSD

                                      [26:56] Not functioning at work - "I couldn't even say hello"

                                      [28:20] Societal pressure - 'Boys don't cry'

                                      [32:01] Writing about his experiences and getting diagnosed with PTSD

                                      [34:13] 'Dad' the book

                                      [37:29] Rethinking the role of fatherhood

                                      [42:40] How to connect with Elliott and access support via MFF


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. New dads can suffer from postnatal depression too - the number of men who become depressed in the first year after becoming a dad is double that of the general population.  First time dads are particularly vulnerable. 1 in 10 dads-to-be will also become depressed during their partner’s pregnancy. (NCT)
                                      2. Around 25% of women carry Group B Strep (GBS) bacteria during pregnancy, yet it is not routinely tested in the UK. You can find out more information here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/group-b-strep/
                                      3. It's helpful to prepare for the fact that your birth might not go according to plan.
                                      4. Very sadly 3 out of 4 suicides are carried out by men - it is the leading cause of death of men under 50, so there is a clearly an urgent need for greater support for fathers.
                                      5. http://musicfootballfatherhood.com/ is there to open up the conversation around fatherhood in a safe space.
                                      6. You can keep up with Elliott and buy copies of MFF's book 'Dad' here: https://linktr.ee/musicfootballfatherhood
                                      7. https://www.markwilliamsfmh.co.uk/ is a pioneer on paternal mental health and PND.


                                       If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It...]]>With 1 in 10 dads suffering after the birth of their baby, Elliott Rae of 'Music, Football, Fatherhood' talks about his PTSD, following the traumatic birth of his daughter. Elliott went on to found MFF (the "Dad's version of Mumsnet") to change the narrative on what it means to be a father. He has gone on to become one of the UK’s most prominent speakers on fatherhood, masculinity and mental health. Despite the serious subject matter, it was an incredibly inspiring, joyful and profound conversation. By chance, this episode was recorded on World Suicide Prevention Day, 2021.

                                      *TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA, SUICIDE RATES*


                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:40] Introduction to Elliott Rae

                                      [02:11] The stigma of postnatal illness in fathers

                                      [03:08] Elliott before fatherhood - from playing bass in a band to youth and D&I work

                                      [05:55] The pregnancy and discovering his wife had Group B Strep

                                      [09:00] The birth - from calm beginnings to concerns for their daughter

                                      [11:50] Shock - like an outer body experience

                                      [12:23] Elliott's dilemma - should he follow his daughter to intensive care or stay with his wife?

                                      [12:51] Snapping out of his daze - "Fatherhood started there and then"

                                      [13:39] Feelings of helplessness and not feeling prepared

                                      [17:52] Further complications - the need for an emergency MRI scan

                                      [21:03] Coming home from the hospital

                                      [21:49] Elliott's wife diagnosed with Postnatal Anxiety

                                      [24:22] Realising he needed help too

                                      [25:01] Reliving events - how their daughter's severe wheat allergy triggered PTSD

                                      [26:56] Not functioning at work - "I couldn't even say hello"

                                      [28:20] Societal pressure - 'Boys don't cry'

                                      [32:01] Writing about his experiences and getting diagnosed with PTSD

                                      [34:13] 'Dad' the book

                                      [37:29] Rethinking the role of fatherhood

                                      [42:40] How to connect with Elliott and access support via MFF


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      1. New dads can suffer from postnatal depression too - the number of men who become depressed in the first year after becoming a dad is double that of the general population.  First time dads are particularly vulnerable. 1 in 10 dads-to-be will also become depressed during their partner’s pregnancy. (NCT)
                                      2. Around 25% of women carry Group B Strep (GBS) bacteria during pregnancy, yet it is not routinely tested in the UK. You can find out more information here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/group-b-strep/
                                      3. It's helpful to prepare for the fact that your birth might not go according to plan.
                                      4. Very sadly 3 out of 4 suicides are carried out by men - it is the leading cause of death of men under 50, so there is a clearly an urgent need for greater support for fathers.
                                      5. http://musicfootballfatherhood.com/ is there to open up the conversation around fatherhood in a safe space.
                                      6. You can keep up with Elliott and buy copies of MFF's book 'Dad' here: https://linktr.ee/musicfootballfatherhood
                                      7. https://www.markwilliamsfmh.co.uk/ is a pioneer on paternal mental health and PND.


                                       If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 4 I’ll be talking to maternal mental health specialist Naomi Buffery, on her own experience of PND and how she's on a mission to empower other mums to beat anxiety and depression.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                      YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                      We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                       

                                      Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                      Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                      Email: app@app-network.org

                                      Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                       

                                      Andy's Man Club

                                      A non-judgemental talking group for men

                                      https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/

                                      Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk

                                      Association of Postnatal Illness

                                      Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                      Email: info@apni.org

                                      Live chat online facility

                                       

                                      Best Beginnings

                                      Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                      evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                      and early stages of parenting.

                                      App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                      24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.


                                      Birth Trauma Association

                                      Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk


                                      CALM

                                      Contact CALM

                                      on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                       

                                      Cedar House Support Group

                                      Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                      Mobile: 07773 283556

                                       

                                      DadsNet 

                                      Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.


                                      Fathers Reaching Out

                                      https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/

                                      Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.


                                      Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                      Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org



                                      Maternal OCD

                                      Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                      arrange

                                       

                                      Muslim Women’s Network

                                      Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                      4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                      and Bengali.

                                      Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Text: 07415 206 936

                                       

                                      Netmums

                                      Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                      Clinic.

                                       

                                      NHS

                                      Contact your local GP surgery.

                                      Call the NHS on 111

                                      or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                      If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                       

                                      PANDAS

                                      Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                      Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk


                                      Petals

                                      Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                      or baby loss.

                                      Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                      Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                      Tel: 0300 688 0068


                                      Samaritans

                                      Tel: 116 123

                                      (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                      Web: www.samaritans.org

                                      Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                       

                                      Shout

                                      Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                       

                                      Twins Trust

                                      Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                      the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                      Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                      alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                      Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                       

                                      Tommy’s

                                      Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                      Web: www.tommys.org

                                      Helpline: Tommy’s

                                      helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                      via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                      Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                       

                                      MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                      ]]>74a1a178-0c8b-4fa9-b97f-c4c1e24ad99cMon, 03 Jan 2022 11:05:00 +010044:47falsefull33Vikki Stephenson                                      The Lockdown Mum: EMILY GOLDHILLThe Lockdown Mum: EMILY GOLDHILLI speak to Emily Goldhill about what it was like to have her baby during the height of the Covid pandemic in 2020. From her husband not being able to attend scans, to a lack of support and activities during the early months, it heavily contributed to her developing postnatal depression. Becoming a new parent can be isolating and lonely at the best of the times, so I can't imagine how hard it must have felt during lockdown.

                                      *Apologies for the audio quality on this episode, thanks in part to a dodgy Zoom connection and an overzealous Siamese cat called Brandy *

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:00] Introduction to Emily Goldhill

                                      [02:23] Navigating starting nursery and the return to work

                                      [04:29] Emily's life before pregnancy

                                      [05:40] Falling pregnant at the start of the Covid 19 pandemic

                                      [07:32] Not being able to have her husband attend the scans

                                      [09:26] How this affected Emily's mental health

                                      [12:26] Early awareness of Covid - how it altered Emily's experience of being pregnant

                                      [15:53] Expectations of what pregnancy 'should be like' vs. lived experience

                                      [20:34] Giving birth in the pandemic. "My husband basically missed the birth" - not being listened to during labour

                                      [26:45] The impact this had on Emily's postnatal illness

                                      [28:57] Taking baby Ernie home for the first time

                                      [30:41] More than the baby blues - "I can't do this"

                                      [33:15] Emily's lack of a support network, due to the Pandemic

                                      [35:10] How Covid 'cancelled' their first family Christmas

                                      [36:44] Feelings of guilt and inadequacy - "they'd be better off without me"

                                      [39:37] Trying to get support - talking therapy

                                      [40:38] Not being seen as a pregnant mother due to Covid - lack of baby groups etc.

                                      [42:25] The dangers of social media and Googling for new mums

                                      [46:25] Starting to recover - feeling more in control

                                      [47:35] Thinking about the return to work

                                      [48:45] How being out and about again in the world more has helped

                                      [50:58] How every baby and every mother is different - there is no set way of doing things.


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      • Transitions like the start of nursery or the return to work can cause anxiety for any parent, so if you feel your symptoms being triggered by change, then you are not alone.
                                      • How being pregnant during Covid can make you feel robbed of the experience you thought you might or should have had.
                                      • It's good to have your partner or someone who can advocate for you at the birth, to ensure you feel listened to during your labour.
                                      • The need to be 'seen' during your pregnancy - how this can impact on your experience of becoming a new mum.
                                      • It can be dangerous to compare yourself to other mums and your approaches to motherhood - especially on social media.
                                      • Beware of obsessive Googling - there is no right way of doing things (instead a lot of different approaches) and the conflicting information can be overwhelming.
                                      • Every baby and every mother is different, and with time you'll set your own rhythm. Believe in yourself and your instincts. You will get to know your baby better than anyone.
                                      • Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale


                                       If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Email:...]]>I speak to Emily Goldhill about what it was like to have her baby during the height of the Covid pandemic in 2020. From her husband not being able to attend scans, to a lack of support and activities during the early months, it heavily contributed to her developing postnatal depression. Becoming a new parent can be isolating and lonely at the best of the times, so I can't imagine how hard it must have felt during lockdown.

                                      *Apologies for the audio quality on this episode, thanks in part to a dodgy Zoom connection and an overzealous Siamese cat called Brandy *

                                      IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:

                                      [00:00] Introduction to Emily Goldhill

                                      [02:23] Navigating starting nursery and the return to work

                                      [04:29] Emily's life before pregnancy

                                      [05:40] Falling pregnant at the start of the Covid 19 pandemic

                                      [07:32] Not being able to have her husband attend the scans

                                      [09:26] How this affected Emily's mental health

                                      [12:26] Early awareness of Covid - how it altered Emily's experience of being pregnant

                                      [15:53] Expectations of what pregnancy 'should be like' vs. lived experience

                                      [20:34] Giving birth in the pandemic. "My husband basically missed the birth" - not being listened to during labour

                                      [26:45] The impact this had on Emily's postnatal illness

                                      [28:57] Taking baby Ernie home for the first time

                                      [30:41] More than the baby blues - "I can't do this"

                                      [33:15] Emily's lack of a support network, due to the Pandemic

                                      [35:10] How Covid 'cancelled' their first family Christmas

                                      [36:44] Feelings of guilt and inadequacy - "they'd be better off without me"

                                      [39:37] Trying to get support - talking therapy

                                      [40:38] Not being seen as a pregnant mother due to Covid - lack of baby groups etc.

                                      [42:25] The dangers of social media and Googling for new mums

                                      [46:25] Starting to recover - feeling more in control

                                      [47:35] Thinking about the return to work

                                      [48:45] How being out and about again in the world more has helped

                                      [50:58] How every baby and every mother is different - there is no set way of doing things.


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      • Transitions like the start of nursery or the return to work can cause anxiety for any parent, so if you feel your symptoms being triggered by change, then you are not alone.
                                      • How being pregnant during Covid can make you feel robbed of the experience you thought you might or should have had.
                                      • It's good to have your partner or someone who can advocate for you at the birth, to ensure you feel listened to during your labour.
                                      • The need to be 'seen' during your pregnancy - how this can impact on your experience of becoming a new mum.
                                      • It can be dangerous to compare yourself to other mums and your approaches to motherhood - especially on social media.
                                      • Beware of obsessive Googling - there is no right way of doing things (instead a lot of different approaches) and the conflicting information can be overwhelming.
                                      • Every baby and every mother is different, and with time you'll set your own rhythm. Believe in yourself and your instincts. You will get to know your baby better than anyone.
                                      • Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale


                                       If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com

                                       

                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 3 I’ll be talking to Elliott Rae of 'Music, Football, Fatherhood'. Elliott founded MFF after suffering from PTSD following the traumatic birth of his daughter. He has subsequently become one of the UK’s most prominent speakers on fatherhood, masculinity and mental health, with the BBC describing MFF as the "Dad's version of Mumsnet".


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. 

                                      YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. 

                                      We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                       

                                      Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                      Moderated

                                      Forum, click here to find out more.

                                      Email: app@app-network.org

                                      Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                       

                                      Association of Postnatal Illness

                                      Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                      Email: info@apni.org

                                      Live chat online facility

                                       

                                      Best Beginnings

                                      Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering

                                      evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy

                                      and early stages of parenting.

                                      App users

                                      also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides

                                      24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or

                                      overwhelmed.

                                      Birth Trauma Association

                                      Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                      CALM

                                      Contact CALM

                                      on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                       

                                      Cedar

                                      House Support Group

                                      Email: lwise@talktalk.net

                                      (Liz Wise)

                                      Mobile: 07773 283556

                                       

                                      Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                      Email:

                                      hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                       

                                      Maternal OCD

                                      Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to

                                      arrange

                                       

                                      Muslim Women’s Network

                                      Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –

                                      4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,

                                      and Bengali.

                                      Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Text: 07415 206 936

                                       

                                      Netmums

                                      Netmums offer

                                      peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In

                                      Clinic.

                                       

                                      NHS

                                      Contact your

                                      local GP surgery.

                                      Call the NHS

                                      on 111

                                      or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                      If you are in

                                      crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                       

                                      PANDAS

                                      Helpline open

                                      from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                      Email support

                                      available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                      Petals

                                      Petals offers

                                      free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy

                                      or baby loss.

                                      Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                      Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                      Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                      Samaritans

                                      Tel: 116 123

                                      (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                      Web: www.samaritans.org

                                      Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                       

                                      Shout

                                      Text SHOUT

                                      to 85258

                                      to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout

                                      volunteer.

                                       

                                      Twins Trust

                                      Twinline is

                                      Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All

                                      the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                      Twinline is

                                      open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,

                                      alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                      Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                       

                                      Tommy’s

                                      Tommy’s has a

                                      team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and

                                      their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                      Web: www.tommys.org

                                      Helpline: Tommy’s

                                      helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions

                                      via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                      Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                       

                                      MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                      ]]>116eb5b9-9668-4088-8510-f67d4cf86d0fMon, 27 Dec 2021 06:00:00 +010053:43falsefull22Vikki Stephenson                                      Double cancer didn't cause depression. Giving birth did: LIZ WISEDouble cancer didn't cause depression. Giving birth did: LIZ WISESpecialist Postnatal Depression Counsellor Liz Wise talks about her own personal experience of PND, which she suffered from with the birth of both her daughters. Despite surviving cancer twice, losing both her parents, losing two of her best friends and going through a very stressful divorce, none of these events ever gave Liz depression. Yet having her daughters did.  

                                      We also speak to Liz’s daughter Emma. Whilst Liz’s mental illness caused bonding issues with Emma as a baby, this did not affect their relationship growing up. In fact, Emma says she feels Liz’s experience of PND made her an even better mum.

                                      Liz made a full recovery. Since then she has been supporting mothers with postnatal depression for over twenty five years. She sits on the committee for The Association for Postnatal Illness and has her own charity The Cedar House Support Group which offers help to mothers through support groups in London and Surrey. Liz offers confidential one to one counselling either face to face, phone, online or email and runs PND support groups in London and Surrey.   (LINK IN SUPPORT BELOW)


                                      In this episode we discuss:

                                      [00:00] Introduction to Liz Wise – the queen of PND!

                                      [01:49] Liz's traumatic molar pregnancy which developed into cancer (choriocarcinoma)

                                      [02:46] The joy of finding she was pregnant with Emma

                                      [04:11] Feeling disconnected from her baby

                                      [05:04] Anxiety, her struggle with breastfeeding and wanting to withdraw from friends

                                      [06:05] Liz's first panic attack whilst out shopping

                                      [06:25] Getting support

                                      [08:37] Over-compensating for her lack of feelings for Emma

                                      [09:48] How it felt to be diagnosed with PND

                                      [10:27] Suicidal feelings, referral to a psychiatrist and support from family

                                      [14:12] Approaching having a second child

                                      [15:42] Bonding with her new baby

                                      [16:02] Coming down with PND for a second time - developing health anxiety

                                      [20:06] Why Liz is grateful for experiencing PND - advice for other mums

                                      [22:07] Liz's daughter Emma's experience of growing up with a mum affected by PND

                                      [25:14] How Emma learnt about her mum’s PND

                                      [27:24] Emma’s work as a virologist & work in SARS-CoV-2

                                      [28:16] Normalising the conversation around mental health issues

                                      [29:33] Emma speaks positively about the benefits of having a mum with PND

                                      [33:31] A message to other parents - you’re not alone, you're not going to mess up your children


                                       *** TRIGGER WARNING: These are real-life conversations, from the heart, so please listen with discretion. Please also refer to our SUPPORT section below ***


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      • You are not alone and will not feel this way for ever
                                      • Bonding issues won’t affect your relationship with your child later on
                                      • Talking about your feelings can normalise mental health issues
                                      • Support is available (please see SUPPORT links below)
                                      • Having PND can have a positive affect on your child

                                       

                                      If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com


                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 2 of Blue MumDays, I’ll be talking to Emily Goldhill about what it was like to have her baby during...]]>Specialist Postnatal Depression Counsellor Liz Wise talks about her own personal experience of PND, which she suffered from with the birth of both her daughters. Despite surviving cancer twice, losing both her parents, losing two of her best friends and going through a very stressful divorce, none of these events ever gave Liz depression. Yet having her daughters did.  

                                      We also speak to Liz’s daughter Emma. Whilst Liz’s mental illness caused bonding issues with Emma as a baby, this did not affect their relationship growing up. In fact, Emma says she feels Liz’s experience of PND made her an even better mum.

                                      Liz made a full recovery. Since then she has been supporting mothers with postnatal depression for over twenty five years. She sits on the committee for The Association for Postnatal Illness and has her own charity The Cedar House Support Group which offers help to mothers through support groups in London and Surrey. Liz offers confidential one to one counselling either face to face, phone, online or email and runs PND support groups in London and Surrey.   (LINK IN SUPPORT BELOW)


                                      In this episode we discuss:

                                      [00:00] Introduction to Liz Wise – the queen of PND!

                                      [01:49] Liz's traumatic molar pregnancy which developed into cancer (choriocarcinoma)

                                      [02:46] The joy of finding she was pregnant with Emma

                                      [04:11] Feeling disconnected from her baby

                                      [05:04] Anxiety, her struggle with breastfeeding and wanting to withdraw from friends

                                      [06:05] Liz's first panic attack whilst out shopping

                                      [06:25] Getting support

                                      [08:37] Over-compensating for her lack of feelings for Emma

                                      [09:48] How it felt to be diagnosed with PND

                                      [10:27] Suicidal feelings, referral to a psychiatrist and support from family

                                      [14:12] Approaching having a second child

                                      [15:42] Bonding with her new baby

                                      [16:02] Coming down with PND for a second time - developing health anxiety

                                      [20:06] Why Liz is grateful for experiencing PND - advice for other mums

                                      [22:07] Liz's daughter Emma's experience of growing up with a mum affected by PND

                                      [25:14] How Emma learnt about her mum’s PND

                                      [27:24] Emma’s work as a virologist & work in SARS-CoV-2

                                      [28:16] Normalising the conversation around mental health issues

                                      [29:33] Emma speaks positively about the benefits of having a mum with PND

                                      [33:31] A message to other parents - you’re not alone, you're not going to mess up your children


                                       *** TRIGGER WARNING: These are real-life conversations, from the heart, so please listen with discretion. Please also refer to our SUPPORT section below ***


                                      KEY TAKEAWAYS:

                                      • You are not alone and will not feel this way for ever
                                      • Bonding issues won’t affect your relationship with your child later on
                                      • Talking about your feelings can normalise mental health issues
                                      • Support is available (please see SUPPORT links below)
                                      • Having PND can have a positive affect on your child

                                       

                                      If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.


                                      Follow us:

                                      Instagram

                                      Twitter

                                      Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com


                                      NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:

                                      In Episode 2 of Blue MumDays, I’ll be talking to Emily Goldhill about what it was like to have her baby during the height of the Covid pandemic in 2020, and how this contributed to her postnatal depression.


                                      SUPPORT:

                                      If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER. We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).

                                       

                                      Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

                                      Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.

                                      Email: app@app-network.org

                                      Tel: 020 3322 9900

                                       

                                      Association of Postnatal Illness

                                      Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868

                                      Email: info@apni.org

                                      Live chat online facility

                                       

                                      Best Beginnings

                                      Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy and early stages of parenting.

                                      App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides 24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.

                                      Birth Trauma Association

                                      Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

                                      CALM

                                      Contact CALM on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)

                                       

                                      Cedar House Support Group

                                      Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)

                                      Mobile: 07773 283556

                                       

                                      Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)

                                      Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org

                                       

                                      Maternal OCD

                                      Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to arrange

                                       

                                      Muslim Women’s Network

                                      Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am – 4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko, and Bengali.

                                      Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk

                                      Text: 07415 206 936

                                       

                                      Netmums

                                      Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In Clinic.

                                       

                                      NHS

                                      Contact your local GP surgery.

                                      Call the NHS on 111 or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline

                                      If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.

                                       

                                      PANDAS

                                      Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401

                                      Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk

                                      Petals

                                      Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss.

                                      Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/

                                      Email: counselling@petalscharity.org

                                      Tel: 0300 688 0068

                                      Samaritans

                                      Tel: 116 123 (this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)

                                      Web: www.samaritans.org

                                      Email: jo@samaritans.org

                                       

                                      Shout

                                      Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.

                                       

                                      Twins Trust

                                      Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.

                                      Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509, alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.

                                      Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html

                                       

                                      Tommy’s

                                      Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.

                                      Web: www.tommys.org

                                      Helpline: Tommy’s helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

                                      Email: midwife@tommys.org

                                       

                                      MUSIC by Joseph McDade

                                      ]]>f25bfcea-4241-4e5e-ae92-836a7a93c262Mon, 20 Dec 2021 12:30:00 +010039:12falsefull11Vikki Stephenson                                      Introduction to Blue MumDaysIntroduction to Blue MumDaysAn introduction to the Blue MumDays parental mental health podcast. Hear from guests such as PND Counsellor Liz Wise and Elliott Rae of Music, Football Fatherhood in this short taster. MUSIC: Joseph McDade.

                                      ]]>                                      An introduction to the Blue MumDays parental mental health podcast. Hear from guests such as PND Counsellor Liz Wise and Elliott Rae of Music, Football Fatherhood in this short taster. MUSIC: Joseph McDade.

                                      ]]>                                      e6451f6f-f94d-4da5-b444-f47cc69a3183Fri, 10 Dec 2021 09:00:00 +010003:22falsetrailerVikki Stephenson