<![CDATA[But For Real]]>809de8d7-66c4-55e2-955a-d69cd3ca7f11Wed, 01 Apr 2026 09:00:42 +0000Captivate.fmValerie Martin & Emerson Ryderhttps://artwork.captivate.fm/f6c3e500-9849-404f-bd0e-a8093914ab9c/qdIBdn9PJwJRHYs_p1MTjPQ5.jpgBut For RealValerie Martin & Emerson RyderValerie Martin & Emerson RyderWelcome to But For Real: the podcast where all your swirling thoughts about mental health, pop culture, and how to human are blended into one delicious variety show, co-hosted by therapists Valerie Martin (resident elder millennial ✌️) and Emerson Ryder (resident Gen Z 🫶).https://but-for-real.captivate.fmtrueepisodicnopodcastThe One About Suicide 💔🫂The One About Suicide 💔🫂We need to talk about suicide… like actually talk about it.

Not in the polished, clinical, tip-list way. Not in the fear-based, “don’t say the wrong thing” way. But in the real, messy, human way that most of us have experienced—whether personally or through someone we love.

Because here’s the truth: suicide is way more common, complex, and misunderstood than we’re comfortable admitting. And the way we talk about it? Often makes it harder—not easier—for people to feel seen, supported, or safe enough to open up.

In this episode of But For Real, we’re going there.

We’re talking about suicidal ideation (including the kind that doesn’t mean you actually want to die), the difference between passive and active thoughts, and why so many people feel ashamed of experiences that are actually more common than we think.

We’re also unpacking the tension between holding the weight of this topic and still making space for humanity, humor, and connection—because healing doesn’t only happen in sterile silence.

And yes… we’re bringing both the heavy and the real.

We’re asking:

  • Why is suicide still so stigmatized—even in mental health spaces?
  • What actually counts as suicidal ideation?
  • Is it “normal” to have passive thoughts about not wanting to exist?
  • Why does shame keep people stuck in silence?
  • And how do we talk about this in a way that actually helps?

Because here’s the thing:

Not every suicidal thought means someone wants to die.

But every experience of suffering deserves to be taken seriously.

So whether this topic touches your life directly or indirectly… we’re really glad you’re here.

From there, we unpack:

  • What suicidal ideation actually is (and what it’s not)
  • The difference between passive vs. active suicidal thoughts
  • Why passive SI can be more common—and human—than you think
  • How shame and stigma keep people from talking about their experience
  • Why humor can be a legitimate coping skill, not avoidance
  • How therapists actually think about and approach suicide
  • Why overly clinical conversations can feel disconnected—and what works better
  • How to support yourself or someone else without defaulting to panic or silence
  • The role of lived experience in shaping mental health work

We talk about:

  • 00:00 – Why this topic matters
  • 01:00 – Can we talk about suicide and still be human?
  • 02:30 – Humor as a coping skill (yes, really)
  • 03:00 – Content warning + how to take care of yourself while listening
  • 04:00 – Personal connections to suicide and why this work matters
  • 05:30 – Passive suicidal ideation: what it actually means
  • 06:00 – Tea & Crumpets: existential YouTube rabbit holes
  • 08:30 – The psychology of death, meaning, and “last meal” thinking
  • 09:00 – A movie that explores the afterlife—and what happens next
  • 10:00+ – The deeper conversation begins (suicide, stigma, and nuance)

Resources Mentioned:


Connect with Us:


DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>We need to talk about suicide… like actually talk about it.

Not in the polished, clinical, tip-list way. Not in the fear-based, “don’t say the wrong thing” way. But in the real, messy, human way that most of us have experienced—whether personally or through someone we love.

Because here’s the truth: suicide is way more common, complex, and misunderstood than we’re comfortable admitting. And the way we talk about it? Often makes it harder—not easier—for people to feel seen, supported, or safe enough to open up.

In this episode of But For Real, we’re going there.

We’re talking about suicidal ideation (including the kind that doesn’t mean you actually want to die), the difference between passive and active thoughts, and why so many people feel ashamed of experiences that are actually more common than we think.

We’re also unpacking the tension between holding the weight of this topic and still making space for humanity, humor, and connection—because healing doesn’t only happen in sterile silence.

And yes… we’re bringing both the heavy and the real.

We’re asking:

  • Why is suicide still so stigmatized—even in mental health spaces?
  • What actually counts as suicidal ideation?
  • Is it “normal” to have passive thoughts about not wanting to exist?
  • Why does shame keep people stuck in silence?
  • And how do we talk about this in a way that actually helps?

Because here’s the thing:

Not every suicidal thought means someone wants to die.

But every experience of suffering deserves to be taken seriously.

So whether this topic touches your life directly or indirectly… we’re really glad you’re here.

From there, we unpack:

  • What suicidal ideation actually is (and what it’s not)
  • The difference between passive vs. active suicidal thoughts
  • Why passive SI can be more common—and human—than you think
  • How shame and stigma keep people from talking about their experience
  • Why humor can be a legitimate coping skill, not avoidance
  • How therapists actually think about and approach suicide
  • Why overly clinical conversations can feel disconnected—and what works better
  • How to support yourself or someone else without defaulting to panic or silence
  • The role of lived experience in shaping mental health work

We talk about:

  • 00:00 – Why this topic matters
  • 01:00 – Can we talk about suicide and still be human?
  • 02:30 – Humor as a coping skill (yes, really)
  • 03:00 – Content warning + how to take care of yourself while listening
  • 04:00 – Personal connections to suicide and why this work matters
  • 05:30 – Passive suicidal ideation: what it actually means
  • 06:00 – Tea & Crumpets: existential YouTube rabbit holes
  • 08:30 – The psychology of death, meaning, and “last meal” thinking
  • 09:00 – A movie that explores the afterlife—and what happens next
  • 10:00+ – The deeper conversation begins (suicide, stigma, and nuance)

Resources Mentioned:


Connect with Us:


DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>da29abd8-3cf4-4e4c-acfc-5cec5c568812Wed, 01 Apr 2026 04:00:00 -050001:12:51truefull4141Is Sex Addiction Really a Thing?Is Sex Addiction Really a Thing?We need to talk about sex addiction — because culturally, this phrase gets thrown around a lot. And depending on who you ask, it’s either a legitimate disorder… or a moral panic wrapped in clinical language.

Either way, it is certainly true that some people need expert support to realign their sexual behavior with their values and intentions, and heal any wounds that may underlie sexual acting out. But is addiction the one best model for doing this work?

In this episode of But For Real, we’re diving into the messy, controversial world of sex addiction, porn use, and what clinicians actually mean when they talk about “out of control sexual behavior.”

Because here’s the truth: the phrase sex addict gets used everywhere — in couples fights, celebrity scandals, religious communities, and treatment centers. But clinically, the picture is way more nuanced.

We’re asking:

  1. Is sex addiction actually recognized as a mental health disorder?
  2. Why does the DSM not include it?
  3. What’s the difference between a high libido, a porn habit, and something that’s truly out of control?
  4. And how much of this conversation is shaped by moral judgment, religion, and cultural discomfort around sex?

Because here’s the thing:

Not every high libido is pathology. Not every porn habit is addiction. And not every relationship betrayal means someone has a disease.

But if your sexual behavior feels compulsive, secretive, or deeply distressing, that matters — and it deserves real support, not internet armchair diagnoses.

In this episode, we break down the history of the sex addiction model, why many sex therapists challenge it, and what a more nuanced understanding of sexual behavior actually looks like.

Plus, we explore the role of shame, porn culture, religion, attachment, and emotion regulation — because sometimes behavior isn’t the real issue. It’s the coping strategy underneath it.

From there, we unpack:

  1. The origin of the sex addiction model and its roots in the 12-step world
  2. Why “sex addiction” has never been officially recognized in the DSM
  3. The difference between sex addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, and out-of-control sexual behavior
  4. Why labeling someone a “sex addict” can sometimes pathologize normal sexuality
  5. The cultural factors (religion, gender norms, and shame) shaping the conversation
  6. How porn use actually fits into this discussion
  7. The difference between sexual acting out vs. sexual offending
  8. Signs sexual behavior might truly be compulsive or distressing
  9. Why shame and secrecy often keep people stuck in the cycle
  10. How sex therapy approaches this topic differently than addiction treatment

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Life hacks: hiccup cures & anxiety nausea tricks
  2. 05:30 – Tea & Crumpets: internet rabbit holes and cultural commentary
  3. 09:30 – Step Into My Office: porn, shame, and being labeled a “sex addict”
  4. 14:00 – The DSM: is sex addiction a real diagnosis?
  5. 17:00 – Val’s experience training as a sex addiction therapist
  6. 20:00 – Why the DSM rejected hypersexual disorder
  7. 22:00 – The shift toward out-of-control sexual behavior frameworks
  8. 24:00 – Moral shame vs clinically significant distress
  9. 30:00 – Porn, masculinity, and cultural narratives about sex
  10. 36:00 – A healthier way to understand sexual behavior

Resources Mentioned:

  1. The Myth of Sex Addiction by David Ley
  2. Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior by Doug Braun-Harvey & Michael Vigorito

Connect with Us:

  1. Submit a story for The Lore segment
  2. Submit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segment
  3. Reach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  4. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  5. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  6. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  7. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  8. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>We need to talk about sex addiction — because culturally, this phrase gets thrown around a lot. And depending on who you ask, it’s either a legitimate disorder… or a moral panic wrapped in clinical language.

Either way, it is certainly true that some people need expert support to realign their sexual behavior with their values and intentions, and heal any wounds that may underlie sexual acting out. But is addiction the one best model for doing this work?

In this episode of But For Real, we’re diving into the messy, controversial world of sex addiction, porn use, and what clinicians actually mean when they talk about “out of control sexual behavior.”

Because here’s the truth: the phrase sex addict gets used everywhere — in couples fights, celebrity scandals, religious communities, and treatment centers. But clinically, the picture is way more nuanced.

We’re asking:

  1. Is sex addiction actually recognized as a mental health disorder?
  2. Why does the DSM not include it?
  3. What’s the difference between a high libido, a porn habit, and something that’s truly out of control?
  4. And how much of this conversation is shaped by moral judgment, religion, and cultural discomfort around sex?

Because here’s the thing:

Not every high libido is pathology. Not every porn habit is addiction. And not every relationship betrayal means someone has a disease.

But if your sexual behavior feels compulsive, secretive, or deeply distressing, that matters — and it deserves real support, not internet armchair diagnoses.

In this episode, we break down the history of the sex addiction model, why many sex therapists challenge it, and what a more nuanced understanding of sexual behavior actually looks like.

Plus, we explore the role of shame, porn culture, religion, attachment, and emotion regulation — because sometimes behavior isn’t the real issue. It’s the coping strategy underneath it.

From there, we unpack:

  1. The origin of the sex addiction model and its roots in the 12-step world
  2. Why “sex addiction” has never been officially recognized in the DSM
  3. The difference between sex addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, and out-of-control sexual behavior
  4. Why labeling someone a “sex addict” can sometimes pathologize normal sexuality
  5. The cultural factors (religion, gender norms, and shame) shaping the conversation
  6. How porn use actually fits into this discussion
  7. The difference between sexual acting out vs. sexual offending
  8. Signs sexual behavior might truly be compulsive or distressing
  9. Why shame and secrecy often keep people stuck in the cycle
  10. How sex therapy approaches this topic differently than addiction treatment

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Life hacks: hiccup cures & anxiety nausea tricks
  2. 05:30 – Tea & Crumpets: internet rabbit holes and cultural commentary
  3. 09:30 – Step Into My Office: porn, shame, and being labeled a “sex addict”
  4. 14:00 – The DSM: is sex addiction a real diagnosis?
  5. 17:00 – Val’s experience training as a sex addiction therapist
  6. 20:00 – Why the DSM rejected hypersexual disorder
  7. 22:00 – The shift toward out-of-control sexual behavior frameworks
  8. 24:00 – Moral shame vs clinically significant distress
  9. 30:00 – Porn, masculinity, and cultural narratives about sex
  10. 36:00 – A healthier way to understand sexual behavior

Resources Mentioned:

  1. The Myth of Sex Addiction by David Ley
  2. Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior by Doug Braun-Harvey & Michael Vigorito

Connect with Us:

  1. Submit a story for The Lore segment
  2. Submit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segment
  3. Reach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  4. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  5. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  6. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  7. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  8. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>39ded7c3-c934-48b2-a926-540f94a4dbdeWed, 18 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -050048:05truefull4040We Need To Talk About Child Stars 🎬We Need To Talk About Child Stars 🎬We need to talk about child stars, y’all. 🎬 Not just in a nostalgic “remember when?” way. And not just in a “look at their meltdown” way. In a developmental, nervous-system, attachment theory-informed way.

Because culturally, we’ve been sold a shiny story about fame, money, and success. But from a developmental perspective, achieving fame early in life can leave lasting scars, which are too often exploited as memes and clickbait headlines.

In this episode of But For Real, we unpack the psychological underbelly of child stardom — from Britney in that revealing schoolgirl uniform at 16 to Bieber stripped down at this year’s Grammys— and from the Disney/Nickelodeon machine to TikTok kids with brand deals before puberty.

We’re asking:

  1. What happens when identity formation gets too blended with performance?
  2. What does it do to a child’s attachment system when they’re the breadwinner?
  3. How does a nervous system develop under constant visibility and evaluation?

Because here’s the truth:

Money does not regulate a nervous system.

Fame does not replace attunement.

And followers do not equal safety.

From there, we unpack:

  1. How identity formation gets disrupted when a kid becomes a brand 🎭
  2. Why being rewarded for compliance and performance warps self-concept
  3. What happens developmentally when you can’t have your “weird phase” in private
  4. How attachment dynamics shift when the child becomes the breadwinner 💸
  5. The psychological pressure baked into parentification
  6. Why money and fame don’t regulate a nervous system
  7. The mental health risks tied to chronic evaluation, overstimulation, and performance conditioning
  8. How substance use becomes an understandable (but costly) regulation strategy
  9. What parasocial relationships and hyper-visibility do to individuation 📱
  10. Why the lack of federal protections for child influencers should concern all of us

Plus— rabbit holes (well, of course) exploring Jeanette McCurdy, Val’s QVC host childhood dreams, paparazzi and algorithm culture, the Coogan Law, Ruby Franke’s family vlog fallout, and why “but they had everything” completely misses the point.

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Intro
  2. 03:00 – Jeanette McCurdy and the child star reckoning
  3. 06:00 – A 10-year-old who wants to be famous (Step Into My Office)
  4. 11:00 – Erikson, identity formation & losing your “weird phase”
  5. 15:00 – Attachment theory & the child-as-breadwinner dynamic
  6. 20:00 – Substance use, performance pressure & shame
  7. 23:00 – Paparazzi culture vs. algorithm culture
  8. 27:00 – Parasocial relationships & hyper-visibility
  9. 30:00 – “They had everything” — and why that argument fails

Connect with Us:

  1. Submit a story for The Lore segment
  2. Submit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segment
  3. Reach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  4. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  5. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  6. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  7. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  8. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>We need to talk about child stars, y’all. 🎬 Not just in a nostalgic “remember when?” way. And not just in a “look at their meltdown” way. In a developmental, nervous-system, attachment theory-informed way.

Because culturally, we’ve been sold a shiny story about fame, money, and success. But from a developmental perspective, achieving fame early in life can leave lasting scars, which are too often exploited as memes and clickbait headlines.

In this episode of But For Real, we unpack the psychological underbelly of child stardom — from Britney in that revealing schoolgirl uniform at 16 to Bieber stripped down at this year’s Grammys— and from the Disney/Nickelodeon machine to TikTok kids with brand deals before puberty.

We’re asking:

  1. What happens when identity formation gets too blended with performance?
  2. What does it do to a child’s attachment system when they’re the breadwinner?
  3. How does a nervous system develop under constant visibility and evaluation?

Because here’s the truth:

Money does not regulate a nervous system.

Fame does not replace attunement.

And followers do not equal safety.

From there, we unpack:

  1. How identity formation gets disrupted when a kid becomes a brand 🎭
  2. Why being rewarded for compliance and performance warps self-concept
  3. What happens developmentally when you can’t have your “weird phase” in private
  4. How attachment dynamics shift when the child becomes the breadwinner 💸
  5. The psychological pressure baked into parentification
  6. Why money and fame don’t regulate a nervous system
  7. The mental health risks tied to chronic evaluation, overstimulation, and performance conditioning
  8. How substance use becomes an understandable (but costly) regulation strategy
  9. What parasocial relationships and hyper-visibility do to individuation 📱
  10. Why the lack of federal protections for child influencers should concern all of us

Plus— rabbit holes (well, of course) exploring Jeanette McCurdy, Val’s QVC host childhood dreams, paparazzi and algorithm culture, the Coogan Law, Ruby Franke’s family vlog fallout, and why “but they had everything” completely misses the point.

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Intro
  2. 03:00 – Jeanette McCurdy and the child star reckoning
  3. 06:00 – A 10-year-old who wants to be famous (Step Into My Office)
  4. 11:00 – Erikson, identity formation & losing your “weird phase”
  5. 15:00 – Attachment theory & the child-as-breadwinner dynamic
  6. 20:00 – Substance use, performance pressure & shame
  7. 23:00 – Paparazzi culture vs. algorithm culture
  8. 27:00 – Parasocial relationships & hyper-visibility
  9. 30:00 – “They had everything” — and why that argument fails

Connect with Us:

  1. Submit a story for The Lore segment
  2. Submit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segment
  3. Reach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  4. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  5. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  6. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  7. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  8. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>18a54ebb-3ec8-48e7-b91c-06c38508a010Wed, 04 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -050038:06truefull3939Why We Love The Drama (Until It's Ours) 🫣Why We Love The Drama (Until It's Ours) 🫣Let’s be honest. We all love a little drama… as long as it’s not happening to us. 😜

From celebrity family feuds to wedding-day chaos to messy public statements, we can’t look away. But the second that kind of public-facing conflict hits our own nervous system? We’re either shutting down, spiraling, or plotting our escape into permanent invisibility.

In this episode of But For Real, therapists Val and Emerson unpack the psychology of why we love drama and gossip— at least, of course, until it’s about us. We’re talking attachment wounds, tribalism, and the very human tendency to consume chaos as entertainment while avoiding it in our own lives.

As always, we’re kicking things off with some pop culture tea (the Beckhams are fighting, y’all), but quickly zoom out to explore the deeper question: why does other people’s relational conflict feel juicy, but our own feels threatening?

If you grew up in a family where repair wasn’t modeled…

If conflict makes your chest tighten and your brain short-circuit…

If you find yourself glued to reality TV but allergic to confrontation…

This one’s for you, babe.

Because of course drama hits different when your attachment system is involved.

From there, we unpack:

  1. Why other people’s drama feels safe to consume
  2. What happens in your nervous system when conflict becomes personal
  3. How attachment wounds shape your reaction to relational tension
  4. The difference between curiosity and rumination
  5. Why public family conflict hits so hard culturally
  6. When drama becomes avoidance
  7. How to stop intellectualizing and start embodying repair
  8. Why healing relational trauma requires tolerating discomfort

Plus: Snowmageddon survival stories, exploding trees and frost cracking, unexpected love for a Super 8 motel, Spice Girls loyalty debates, and the trainwreck-you-can’t-look-away-from of the Beckhams fighting in public.

This episode is for anyone who:

  1. Loves a little pop culture tea but gets dysregulated the second conflict hits close to home
  2. Grew up around tension, enmeshment, or emotional landmines and now feels hyper-aware of drama everywhere
  3. Finds themselves glued to other people’s relational mess while avoiding their own
  4. Is realizing their nervous system reacts to conflict like it’s a five-alarm fire

Because sometimes we’re not obsessed with drama. We’re just trying to understand something our body never got to feel safe inside of.

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Snowmageddon 2026 & survival mode
  2. 03:30 – Pop culture tea: The Beckhams are fighting
  3. 07:00 – Why we love drama when it’s not ours
  4. 11:00 – Nervous system activation & conflict
  5. 15:00 – Attachment wounds and emotional reactivity
  6. 20:00 – Enmeshment, boy moms, and wedding-day chaos
  7. 25:00 – When curiosity turns into rumination
  8. 30:00 – Conflict avoidance vs. relational repair
  9. 35:00 – Why drama can be a form of avoidance
  10. 40:00 – Doing hard relational things anyway

Connect with Us:

  1. Submit a story for The Lore segment
  2. Submit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segment
  3. Reach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  4. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  5. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  6. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  7. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  8. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Let’s be honest. We all love a little drama… as long as it’s not happening to us. 😜

From celebrity family feuds to wedding-day chaos to messy public statements, we can’t look away. But the second that kind of public-facing conflict hits our own nervous system? We’re either shutting down, spiraling, or plotting our escape into permanent invisibility.

In this episode of But For Real, therapists Val and Emerson unpack the psychology of why we love drama and gossip— at least, of course, until it’s about us. We’re talking attachment wounds, tribalism, and the very human tendency to consume chaos as entertainment while avoiding it in our own lives.

As always, we’re kicking things off with some pop culture tea (the Beckhams are fighting, y’all), but quickly zoom out to explore the deeper question: why does other people’s relational conflict feel juicy, but our own feels threatening?

If you grew up in a family where repair wasn’t modeled…

If conflict makes your chest tighten and your brain short-circuit…

If you find yourself glued to reality TV but allergic to confrontation…

This one’s for you, babe.

Because of course drama hits different when your attachment system is involved.

From there, we unpack:

  1. Why other people’s drama feels safe to consume
  2. What happens in your nervous system when conflict becomes personal
  3. How attachment wounds shape your reaction to relational tension
  4. The difference between curiosity and rumination
  5. Why public family conflict hits so hard culturally
  6. When drama becomes avoidance
  7. How to stop intellectualizing and start embodying repair
  8. Why healing relational trauma requires tolerating discomfort

Plus: Snowmageddon survival stories, exploding trees and frost cracking, unexpected love for a Super 8 motel, Spice Girls loyalty debates, and the trainwreck-you-can’t-look-away-from of the Beckhams fighting in public.

This episode is for anyone who:

  1. Loves a little pop culture tea but gets dysregulated the second conflict hits close to home
  2. Grew up around tension, enmeshment, or emotional landmines and now feels hyper-aware of drama everywhere
  3. Finds themselves glued to other people’s relational mess while avoiding their own
  4. Is realizing their nervous system reacts to conflict like it’s a five-alarm fire

Because sometimes we’re not obsessed with drama. We’re just trying to understand something our body never got to feel safe inside of.

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Snowmageddon 2026 & survival mode
  2. 03:30 – Pop culture tea: The Beckhams are fighting
  3. 07:00 – Why we love drama when it’s not ours
  4. 11:00 – Nervous system activation & conflict
  5. 15:00 – Attachment wounds and emotional reactivity
  6. 20:00 – Enmeshment, boy moms, and wedding-day chaos
  7. 25:00 – When curiosity turns into rumination
  8. 30:00 – Conflict avoidance vs. relational repair
  9. 35:00 – Why drama can be a form of avoidance
  10. 40:00 – Doing hard relational things anyway

Connect with Us:

  1. Submit a story for The Lore segment
  2. Submit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segment
  3. Reach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  4. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  5. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  6. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  7. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  8. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>b621f719-11b4-47f1-8d27-a203b6cf1ba3Wed, 18 Feb 2026 04:00:00 -050052:47truefull3838The One About Repair ❤️‍🩹🫂The One About Repair ❤️‍🩹🫂If conflict makes your chest tighten, your brain freeze, or your instinct scream “AVOID AT ALL COSTS, ABORT, ABORT!,” this episode is for YOU, honey.

In Episode 37 of But For Real, therapists Val and Em talk honestly about repair—not the Instagram version, but the real-life, messy, emotionally vulnerable process of repairing relationships after conflict. We recorded this episode fresh off a hard week, which means we’re not speaking theoretically. We’re speaking from inside it.

We unpack what repair actually looks like when it wasn’t modeled, when uncertainty feels unbearable, and when your nervous system is convinced that conflict equals danger. This isn’t about fixing everything perfectly or tying things up with a bow. It’s about starting, staying present, and choosing connection even when you’re scared.

From there, we unpack:

  1. Why repair doesn’t mean “everything is fixed now”
  2. Why starting matters more than finishing
  3. How uncertainty is anxiety’s worst nightmare (and still unavoidable)
  4. What it looks like to live your values instead of just talking about them
  5. Why doing the messy, uncomfortable thing is often the most ethical choice

Plus: fragrances, phone maximalism, dairy-free Boursin supremacy, Hobby Lobby slander, and letting your inner toddler run the show occasionally.

This episode is for anyone who:

  1. Never saw repair modeled growing up
  2. Feels terrified of conflict but longs for deeper connection
  3. Thinks they’re “bad at relationships” when really they were just never taught
  4. Is learning how to do hard things scared, tender, and imperfect

Repair isn’t clean. It isn’t linear. And it isn’t always possible. But when it IS possible? Even if it’s messy, it can be powerful as hell.

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Welcome back, sleep deprivation, and why we sound unhinged
  2. 01:30 – Why we chose repair as today’s topic (and why it’s personal)
  3. 03:00 – Emerson on conflict avoidance, repair not being modeled, and inner-child witnessing
  4. 05:00 – Anxiety, uncertainty, and why “not knowing how this ends” is brutal
  5. 07:30 – Living your values vs. performing them
  6. 10:00 – Tea & Crumpets: fragrance recs, phone maximalism, and inner toddler joy
  7. 15:00 – Food opinions we feel unreasonably strong about
  8. 18:00 – Why repair isn’t about blame, villains, or being “right”
  9. 22:00 – Val’s tower moment: things falling apart to rebuild stronger
  10. 26:00 – Starting repair without knowing the outcome
  11. 30:00 – Why doing the messy thing is the work
  12. 34:00 – Repair when it’s possible—and when it’s not
  13. 38:00 – Final reflections: doing hard things scared, together

Connect with Us:

  1. Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  2. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  3. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  4. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  5. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  6. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>If conflict makes your chest tighten, your brain freeze, or your instinct scream “AVOID AT ALL COSTS, ABORT, ABORT!,” this episode is for YOU, honey.

In Episode 37 of But For Real, therapists Val and Em talk honestly about repair—not the Instagram version, but the real-life, messy, emotionally vulnerable process of repairing relationships after conflict. We recorded this episode fresh off a hard week, which means we’re not speaking theoretically. We’re speaking from inside it.

We unpack what repair actually looks like when it wasn’t modeled, when uncertainty feels unbearable, and when your nervous system is convinced that conflict equals danger. This isn’t about fixing everything perfectly or tying things up with a bow. It’s about starting, staying present, and choosing connection even when you’re scared.

From there, we unpack:

  1. Why repair doesn’t mean “everything is fixed now”
  2. Why starting matters more than finishing
  3. How uncertainty is anxiety’s worst nightmare (and still unavoidable)
  4. What it looks like to live your values instead of just talking about them
  5. Why doing the messy, uncomfortable thing is often the most ethical choice

Plus: fragrances, phone maximalism, dairy-free Boursin supremacy, Hobby Lobby slander, and letting your inner toddler run the show occasionally.

This episode is for anyone who:

  1. Never saw repair modeled growing up
  2. Feels terrified of conflict but longs for deeper connection
  3. Thinks they’re “bad at relationships” when really they were just never taught
  4. Is learning how to do hard things scared, tender, and imperfect

Repair isn’t clean. It isn’t linear. And it isn’t always possible. But when it IS possible? Even if it’s messy, it can be powerful as hell.

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Welcome back, sleep deprivation, and why we sound unhinged
  2. 01:30 – Why we chose repair as today’s topic (and why it’s personal)
  3. 03:00 – Emerson on conflict avoidance, repair not being modeled, and inner-child witnessing
  4. 05:00 – Anxiety, uncertainty, and why “not knowing how this ends” is brutal
  5. 07:30 – Living your values vs. performing them
  6. 10:00 – Tea & Crumpets: fragrance recs, phone maximalism, and inner toddler joy
  7. 15:00 – Food opinions we feel unreasonably strong about
  8. 18:00 – Why repair isn’t about blame, villains, or being “right”
  9. 22:00 – Val’s tower moment: things falling apart to rebuild stronger
  10. 26:00 – Starting repair without knowing the outcome
  11. 30:00 – Why doing the messy thing is the work
  12. 34:00 – Repair when it’s possible—and when it’s not
  13. 38:00 – Final reflections: doing hard things scared, together

Connect with Us:

  1. Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  2. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  3. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  4. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  5. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  6. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>29d3cd83-74a3-45b2-b15d-3349891a9dd9Wed, 04 Feb 2026 04:00:00 -050001:02:48truefull3737Why Being Regulated All The Time Is Bullsh*t!Why Being Regulated All The Time Is Bullsh*t!If you’ve done “the work,” learned nervous system skills, gone to therapy… and you still get dysregulated, this episode is your permission slip to stop spiraling about it.

In Episode 36 of But For Real, Val and Em break down what emotional regulation actually means—and why TikTok, pop psychology, and even therapy culture have wildly distorted it. We start the episode under-caffeinated, under-slept, and already dysregulated (relatable), then use that exact moment to talk about what being human really looks like.

We answer a listener question from a self-described “dysregulated diva” who’s frustrated that anxiety spikes, shutdown, and emotional overwhelm still happen despite years of nervous system work. Spoiler: this does not mean therapy isn’t working.

From there, we unpack:

  1. Why emotions are energy in motion, not instructions
  2. How emotional regulation has been hijacked by productivity culture
  3. Why the DSM doesn’t diagnose emotions—and why TikTok keeps trying to
  4. The difference between emotional intensity and mental illness
  5. Why “never being activated again” is a scam
  6. How DBT skills like urge surfing, TIPP, emotion naming, and opposite action actually work in real life

We also talk cicadas, kombucha shots, weaponized stoicism, BPD discourse on TikTok, why calm ≠ healed, and how regulation was never meant to make you quieter, easier, or more palatable.

This episode is nervous-system education without toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, or “rewire yourself once and for all” nonsense.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I still like this?” — this one’s for you.

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Low brain power, re-recording chaos, and starting dysregulated
  2. 02:00 – Real-life regulation: distraction vs. shifting state
  3. 05:00 – Tea & Crumpets: unsettling movies, long-form content, and attention burnout
  4. 09:30 – Step Into My Office: “If I still get dysregulated, is therapy working?”
  5. 14:00 – Why “never being activated again” is a lie
  6. 16:00 – What emotions actually are: energy in motion
  7. 18:30 – Thoughts vs. emotions (aka: don’t believe every cicada thought)
  8. 21:00 – How emotions get pathologized culturally
  9. 23:00 – The DSM reality check (and why TikTok keeps misusing it)
  10. 26:00 – BPD discourse, diagnostic criteria, and why labels are getting sloppy
  11. 28:00 – What emotional regulation really means
  12. 31:00 – Window of Tolerance myths & hot takes
  13. 33:00 – DBT skills: urge surfing, TIPP, distress tolerance
  14. 36:00 – Emotion naming & wise mind
  15. 38:00 – Opposite action (what it is and what it is NOT)
  16. 42:00 – Why skills work best outside of crisis
  17. 43:30 – “But for real”: Regulation isn’t about being easier to deal with
  18. 44:00 – Music picks & live reactions
  19. 48:00 – Fire Dumpster Phoenix: restorative justice & peace monks
  20. 53:00 – Final permission: you’re not failing, you’re responding

Connect with Us:

  1. Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  2. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  3. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  4. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  5. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  6. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>If you’ve done “the work,” learned nervous system skills, gone to therapy… and you still get dysregulated, this episode is your permission slip to stop spiraling about it.

In Episode 36 of But For Real, Val and Em break down what emotional regulation actually means—and why TikTok, pop psychology, and even therapy culture have wildly distorted it. We start the episode under-caffeinated, under-slept, and already dysregulated (relatable), then use that exact moment to talk about what being human really looks like.

We answer a listener question from a self-described “dysregulated diva” who’s frustrated that anxiety spikes, shutdown, and emotional overwhelm still happen despite years of nervous system work. Spoiler: this does not mean therapy isn’t working.

From there, we unpack:

  1. Why emotions are energy in motion, not instructions
  2. How emotional regulation has been hijacked by productivity culture
  3. Why the DSM doesn’t diagnose emotions—and why TikTok keeps trying to
  4. The difference between emotional intensity and mental illness
  5. Why “never being activated again” is a scam
  6. How DBT skills like urge surfing, TIPP, emotion naming, and opposite action actually work in real life

We also talk cicadas, kombucha shots, weaponized stoicism, BPD discourse on TikTok, why calm ≠ healed, and how regulation was never meant to make you quieter, easier, or more palatable.

This episode is nervous-system education without toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, or “rewire yourself once and for all” nonsense.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I still like this?” — this one’s for you.

We talk about:

  1. 00:00 – Low brain power, re-recording chaos, and starting dysregulated
  2. 02:00 – Real-life regulation: distraction vs. shifting state
  3. 05:00 – Tea & Crumpets: unsettling movies, long-form content, and attention burnout
  4. 09:30 – Step Into My Office: “If I still get dysregulated, is therapy working?”
  5. 14:00 – Why “never being activated again” is a lie
  6. 16:00 – What emotions actually are: energy in motion
  7. 18:30 – Thoughts vs. emotions (aka: don’t believe every cicada thought)
  8. 21:00 – How emotions get pathologized culturally
  9. 23:00 – The DSM reality check (and why TikTok keeps misusing it)
  10. 26:00 – BPD discourse, diagnostic criteria, and why labels are getting sloppy
  11. 28:00 – What emotional regulation really means
  12. 31:00 – Window of Tolerance myths & hot takes
  13. 33:00 – DBT skills: urge surfing, TIPP, distress tolerance
  14. 36:00 – Emotion naming & wise mind
  15. 38:00 – Opposite action (what it is and what it is NOT)
  16. 42:00 – Why skills work best outside of crisis
  17. 43:30 – “But for real”: Regulation isn’t about being easier to deal with
  18. 44:00 – Music picks & live reactions
  19. 48:00 – Fire Dumpster Phoenix: restorative justice & peace monks
  20. 53:00 – Final permission: you’re not failing, you’re responding

Connect with Us:

  1. Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
  2. But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
  3. Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
  4. The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
  5. Val on IG: @valkaymartin
  6. The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>c51134e2-c4c9-4522-8d7a-e7ba154f7b4bThu, 22 Jan 2026 14:30:00 -050054:08truefull3636Seasonal Feelings Disorder: Why Is January SO Weird?Seasonal Feelings Disorder: Why Is January SO Weird?January is just… weird, y’all. Not awful necessarily, but also not really the motivation-charged era we’re culturally conditioned that it should be. 

In this episode of But For Real, we’re naming the post-holiday emotional hangover that sneaks up on so many of us every January. The irritability. The numbness. The low-grade existential dread. The urge to hibernate while the internet screams “new year, new you.”

We’re calling it Seasonal Feelings Disorder, not a diagnosis, not a pathology, just an honest name for the cocktail of nervous system burnout, disrupted routines, winter darkness, and cultural pressure that makes January feel like liminal purgatory.

We talk about why your body crashes after December, why motivation disappears, why everything feels heavier, and why none of this means you’re broken, behind, or failing at life. We break down the difference between winter blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder, how capitalism fights biology every January, and why neurodivergent folks often feel this season more intensely.

This episode blends therapist brains, lived experience, listener questions, nervous system education, music, trash panda joy, and variety-show chaos, because mental health conversations should feel human, not like homework.

If January has you staring at your calendar wondering what happened to your personality, this one’s for you.

We cover:

  • Why January feels emotionally flat, irritable, and existential
  • What we mean by “Seasonal Feelings Disorder”
  • The difference between January blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
  • The nervous system crash after December overstimulation
  • Why winter biology and productivity culture are always fighting
  • How routines, motivation, and identity get scrambled in January
  • Why neurodivergent nervous systems feel this season harder
  • The myth of “new year energy” and why it backfires
  • Gentle ways to support your nervous system instead of forcing growth
  • How to re-enter structure without shame or self-punishment
  • Why you’re not lazy, ungrateful, or behind, you’re defrosting

We talk about:

  • 00:00 – We’re back, end-of-year chaos, and why January already feels weird
  • 03:05 – Ins & outs, movement, therapy, identity, and letting go of over-rotting
  • 06:40 – Burnout, rest, and learning what actually restores us
  • 09:45 – Civic engagement, goblin core, and letting ourselves evolve messily
  • 12:30 – Tea & Crumpets, vagus nerve care and nervous system survival tools
  • 14:50 – Step Into My Office, the spiritually dehydrated January question
  • 18:20 – Why January feels existential and disorienting 
  • 20:15 – Seasonal Feelings Disorder, what it is and what it isn’t
  • 22:10 – SAD vs winter blues, clinical vs situational
  • 25:00 – Post-holiday adrenaline crashes and nervous system burnout
  • 28:40 – Circadian rhythms, darkness, and winter biology
  • 31:10 – Capitalism, productivity pressure, and January whiplash
  • 33:45 – Neurodivergence, masking fatigue, and routine collapse
  • 36:30 – Gentle structure instead of aggressive self-reinvention
  • 39:00 – Defrosting slowly instead of forcing bloom mode
  • 41:50 – Music that understands winter sadness
  • 44:20 – Fire Dumpster Phoenix, trash panda hope
  • 48:10 – Final thoughts, permission to move slowly into the year

Connect with Us:


DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>January is just… weird, y’all. Not awful necessarily, but also not really the motivation-charged era we’re culturally conditioned that it should be. 

In this episode of But For Real, we’re naming the post-holiday emotional hangover that sneaks up on so many of us every January. The irritability. The numbness. The low-grade existential dread. The urge to hibernate while the internet screams “new year, new you.”

We’re calling it Seasonal Feelings Disorder, not a diagnosis, not a pathology, just an honest name for the cocktail of nervous system burnout, disrupted routines, winter darkness, and cultural pressure that makes January feel like liminal purgatory.

We talk about why your body crashes after December, why motivation disappears, why everything feels heavier, and why none of this means you’re broken, behind, or failing at life. We break down the difference between winter blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder, how capitalism fights biology every January, and why neurodivergent folks often feel this season more intensely.

This episode blends therapist brains, lived experience, listener questions, nervous system education, music, trash panda joy, and variety-show chaos, because mental health conversations should feel human, not like homework.

If January has you staring at your calendar wondering what happened to your personality, this one’s for you.

We cover:

  • Why January feels emotionally flat, irritable, and existential
  • What we mean by “Seasonal Feelings Disorder”
  • The difference between January blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
  • The nervous system crash after December overstimulation
  • Why winter biology and productivity culture are always fighting
  • How routines, motivation, and identity get scrambled in January
  • Why neurodivergent nervous systems feel this season harder
  • The myth of “new year energy” and why it backfires
  • Gentle ways to support your nervous system instead of forcing growth
  • How to re-enter structure without shame or self-punishment
  • Why you’re not lazy, ungrateful, or behind, you’re defrosting

We talk about:

  • 00:00 – We’re back, end-of-year chaos, and why January already feels weird
  • 03:05 – Ins & outs, movement, therapy, identity, and letting go of over-rotting
  • 06:40 – Burnout, rest, and learning what actually restores us
  • 09:45 – Civic engagement, goblin core, and letting ourselves evolve messily
  • 12:30 – Tea & Crumpets, vagus nerve care and nervous system survival tools
  • 14:50 – Step Into My Office, the spiritually dehydrated January question
  • 18:20 – Why January feels existential and disorienting 
  • 20:15 – Seasonal Feelings Disorder, what it is and what it isn’t
  • 22:10 – SAD vs winter blues, clinical vs situational
  • 25:00 – Post-holiday adrenaline crashes and nervous system burnout
  • 28:40 – Circadian rhythms, darkness, and winter biology
  • 31:10 – Capitalism, productivity pressure, and January whiplash
  • 33:45 – Neurodivergence, masking fatigue, and routine collapse
  • 36:30 – Gentle structure instead of aggressive self-reinvention
  • 39:00 – Defrosting slowly instead of forcing bloom mode
  • 41:50 – Music that understands winter sadness
  • 44:20 – Fire Dumpster Phoenix, trash panda hope
  • 48:10 – Final thoughts, permission to move slowly into the year

Connect with Us:


DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>faa4f353-8ccf-4f0e-8c33-a7e70286d2b1Wed, 07 Jan 2026 03:00:00 -050050:09truefull3535The One About Hypnosis 🌀The One About Hypnosis 🌀Ever tried hypnosis and thought, “Cool… nothing is happening,” while everyone else in the comments claims their soul left their body?

Same.

In this episode, we’re pulling hypnosis out of the movie version and into real life. No clucking like a chicken. No blacking out. No dramatic “going under.” Just an honest, funny, science-backed conversation about what hypnosis actually is, why it often feels subtle, and why your brain isn’t broken if you’re still aware of everything.

We talk about blinking aggressively during guided sessions, noticing every swallow, wondering if you left the dryer running, and why all of that is way more normal than you’ve been led to believe. From stage hypnosis myths to clinical hypnotherapy reality, we break down what’s actually happening in your brain and nervous system when you’re in a trance state.

This episode blends clinical insight, nervous system education, pop culture references, and variety-show chaos, because learning about mental health shouldn’t feel like homework.

We cover:

  • What hypnosis really is (and what it definitely is not)
  • Why hypnosis often feels calm, subtle, and very awake
  • The myth of “going under” and where it came from
  • Why overthinkers, anxious minds, and neurodivergent brains are not bad at hypnosis
  • How hypnosis overlaps with meditation, NSDR, EMDR, and brainspotting
  • Why watching TV, driving on autopilot, or losing your keys is already a trance state
  • The difference between stage hypnosis, clinical hypnotherapy, and coaching-based hypnosis
  • When self-hypnosis can be helpful and when working with a trained practitioner matters
  • Why ethical practice and scope of care actually matter in this space

We talk about:

  • 00:00 – New setup, unhinged hypotheticals, and stage hypnosis chaos
  • 03:15 – Why hypnosis fascinates us (and confuses everyone)
  • 06:05 – Listener question, “Why does hypnosis feel like nothing is happening?”
  • 09:10 – Am I not hypnotizable? Overthinking, awareness, and myth busting
  • 12:40 – What hypnosis actually is (clinical explanation without the snooze)
  • 16:30 – The brain science, trance states, and nervous system regulation
  • 20:10 – Why watching TV, driving, and losing your keys is already hypnosis
  • 23:15 – Stage hypnosis vs clinical hypnotherapy (and why movies lied)
  • 27:20 – Hypnosis, ADHD, anxiety, and neurodivergent brains
  • 31:05 – Self-hypnosis, YouTube videos, and what actually helps
  • 35:40 – When hypnosis is helpful (and when it needs clinical support)
  • 40:10 – Pain, gut health, IBS, and what the research actually shows
  • 44:30 – Common myths, fears, and losing control concerns
  • 48:20 – What hypnosis usually feels like (heavy, light, time distortion)
  • 52:10 – Why subtle doesn’t mean ineffective
  • 55:00 – Final thoughts, nervous system wisdom, and reframing “nothing happened”

Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Ever tried hypnosis and thought, “Cool… nothing is happening,” while everyone else in the comments claims their soul left their body?

Same.

In this episode, we’re pulling hypnosis out of the movie version and into real life. No clucking like a chicken. No blacking out. No dramatic “going under.” Just an honest, funny, science-backed conversation about what hypnosis actually is, why it often feels subtle, and why your brain isn’t broken if you’re still aware of everything.

We talk about blinking aggressively during guided sessions, noticing every swallow, wondering if you left the dryer running, and why all of that is way more normal than you’ve been led to believe. From stage hypnosis myths to clinical hypnotherapy reality, we break down what’s actually happening in your brain and nervous system when you’re in a trance state.

This episode blends clinical insight, nervous system education, pop culture references, and variety-show chaos, because learning about mental health shouldn’t feel like homework.

We cover:

  • What hypnosis really is (and what it definitely is not)
  • Why hypnosis often feels calm, subtle, and very awake
  • The myth of “going under” and where it came from
  • Why overthinkers, anxious minds, and neurodivergent brains are not bad at hypnosis
  • How hypnosis overlaps with meditation, NSDR, EMDR, and brainspotting
  • Why watching TV, driving on autopilot, or losing your keys is already a trance state
  • The difference between stage hypnosis, clinical hypnotherapy, and coaching-based hypnosis
  • When self-hypnosis can be helpful and when working with a trained practitioner matters
  • Why ethical practice and scope of care actually matter in this space

We talk about:

  • 00:00 – New setup, unhinged hypotheticals, and stage hypnosis chaos
  • 03:15 – Why hypnosis fascinates us (and confuses everyone)
  • 06:05 – Listener question, “Why does hypnosis feel like nothing is happening?”
  • 09:10 – Am I not hypnotizable? Overthinking, awareness, and myth busting
  • 12:40 – What hypnosis actually is (clinical explanation without the snooze)
  • 16:30 – The brain science, trance states, and nervous system regulation
  • 20:10 – Why watching TV, driving, and losing your keys is already hypnosis
  • 23:15 – Stage hypnosis vs clinical hypnotherapy (and why movies lied)
  • 27:20 – Hypnosis, ADHD, anxiety, and neurodivergent brains
  • 31:05 – Self-hypnosis, YouTube videos, and what actually helps
  • 35:40 – When hypnosis is helpful (and when it needs clinical support)
  • 40:10 – Pain, gut health, IBS, and what the research actually shows
  • 44:30 – Common myths, fears, and losing control concerns
  • 48:20 – What hypnosis usually feels like (heavy, light, time distortion)
  • 52:10 – Why subtle doesn’t mean ineffective
  • 55:00 – Final thoughts, nervous system wisdom, and reframing “nothing happened”

Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>39b0c36a-7b4e-4573-8a94-7409299f2092Wed, 24 Dec 2025 04:00:00 -050051:53truefull3434How Music Helps You Heal 🎵❤️‍🩹How Music Helps You Heal 🎵❤️‍🩹Music is literally the soundtrack of our lives – and music can be incredibly healing when used in the right way. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson dive into the ins and outs of music therapy, how and why it works, and how you can start your own music therapy journey.

This episode covers:



Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Music is literally the soundtrack of our lives – and music can be incredibly healing when used in the right way. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson dive into the ins and outs of music therapy, how and why it works, and how you can start your own music therapy journey.

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>6937bbc6-f676-469e-b986-168135b2e9b6Wed, 10 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -050056:01truefull3333The Serious Person’s Guide To Getting Silly Again 🤪The Serious Person’s Guide To Getting Silly Again 🤪If you feel like adult life is just full of responsibilities, to-dos, meetings, and seriousness, you’re not alone. With busy schedules and the weight of the world, it’s easy to feel disconnected. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson explore the relationship we have as play as adults, why it’s actually integral to your well-being and how to start inviting in joy again 🫶

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.


]]>If you feel like adult life is just full of responsibilities, to-dos, meetings, and seriousness, you’re not alone. With busy schedules and the weight of the world, it’s easy to feel disconnected. In this episode of But For Real, Valerie and Emerson explore the relationship we have as play as adults, why it’s actually integral to your well-being and how to start inviting in joy again 🫶

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.


]]>26b4b292-f58a-41d3-a778-ed075feeb67cWed, 26 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -050047:53truefull3232Existential-Humanistic Psychology— WTF actually is it? 🧐Existential-Humanistic Psychology— WTF actually is it? 🧐In a world full of uncertainty and pain, life can feel devoid of meaning and hope—but what if life could also feel incredibly rich by showing up for it fully? You don’t have to have it all figured out to live with depth, and existential humanistic psychology can help you reconnect with life meaningfully.

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In a world full of uncertainty and pain, life can feel devoid of meaning and hope—but what if life could also feel incredibly rich by showing up for it fully? You don’t have to have it all figured out to live with depth, and existential humanistic psychology can help you reconnect with life meaningfully.

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>5a39deaf-b012-40b9-9237-cab54e57512aWed, 12 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -050050:11truefull3131What to Do When the World Is on Fire (Literally) ☄️What to Do When the World Is on Fire (Literally) ☄️In a world that’s both metaphorically and literally on fire, it can feel nearly impossible to figure out how the hell to live without either feeling like you’re gaslighting yourself into “normalcy” or getting so paralyzed by eco-anxiety that you can’t function. 

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into all things Eco-Anxiety & Planet Grief, as well as steps you can take to navigate a burning world without getting STUCK in the apathetic loop of grieving our Mother Earth.


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In a world that’s both metaphorically and literally on fire, it can feel nearly impossible to figure out how the hell to live without either feeling like you’re gaslighting yourself into “normalcy” or getting so paralyzed by eco-anxiety that you can’t function. 

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into all things Eco-Anxiety & Planet Grief, as well as steps you can take to navigate a burning world without getting STUCK in the apathetic loop of grieving our Mother Earth.


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>bdf34eb9-07a8-44a8-8dac-b0db1c2f0687Wed, 29 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -050058:01truefull3030The Self-Growth Industrial Complex 🔍The Self-Growth Industrial Complex 🔍Conversations around self-growth are all over every media platform these days – and while introspection and commitment to growth and change is important, it’s easy for it to be an all consuming trap that’s actually the opposite of growth.

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson take a deep dive into the history of the self-growth industrial complex, explore what’s useful, debunk what’s not, and give you real advice on how to tackle self-improvement without spiraling.


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Conversations around self-growth are all over every media platform these days – and while introspection and commitment to growth and change is important, it’s easy for it to be an all consuming trap that’s actually the opposite of growth.

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson take a deep dive into the history of the self-growth industrial complex, explore what’s useful, debunk what’s not, and give you real advice on how to tackle self-improvement without spiraling.


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>12bed2bf-0a6e-43df-aa43-c395f1cb04d5Wed, 15 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -050054:41truefull2929The One About Eating Disorders + Body Image 🍽️The One About Eating Disorders + Body Image 🍽️In a time where it feels like 2000s diet culture is back in full force, this week’s episode about eating disorders and body image is important now more than ever. Whether you’re currently struggling with your body, have struggled in the past, love someone who struggles, or are just interested in a deep dive on these complex challenges, this episode is for you.

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In a time where it feels like 2000s diet culture is back in full force, this week’s episode about eating disorders and body image is important now more than ever. Whether you’re currently struggling with your body, have struggled in the past, love someone who struggles, or are just interested in a deep dive on these complex challenges, this episode is for you.

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>0c4709f3-2834-441e-92e8-c04a25192733Wed, 01 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -050001:07:29truefull2828Sex Therapy & Kink with SanTasha Wright-Comer ⛓Sex Therapy & Kink with SanTasha Wright-Comer ⛓Today we have such an exciting episode and a special guest. Santasha Wright-Comer, LMSW, is a Sex-Informed Therapist here The Gaia Center who believes healing and pleasure go hand in hand. A proud wife and mom of two, Santasha brings both warmth and realness into her work, especially when supporting LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC communities in finding safety, joy, and intimacy in their relationships. When she’s not in session, you can catch her in dance class, laughing with her family, or researching the latest mods for The Sims 4.

In this episode, SanTasha shares so much wisdom related to sex therapy, sex positivity, and kink.


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Today we have such an exciting episode and a special guest. Santasha Wright-Comer, LMSW, is a Sex-Informed Therapist here The Gaia Center who believes healing and pleasure go hand in hand. A proud wife and mom of two, Santasha brings both warmth and realness into her work, especially when supporting LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC communities in finding safety, joy, and intimacy in their relationships. When she’s not in session, you can catch her in dance class, laughing with her family, or researching the latest mods for The Sims 4.

In this episode, SanTasha shares so much wisdom related to sex therapy, sex positivity, and kink.


This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>9b7791b4-d48c-4f21-90a1-3310534dc757Wed, 17 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -050058:05truefull2727Blame It On The Booze: Alcohol in 2025🍸Blame It On The Booze: Alcohol in 2025🍸Alcohol culture is pervasive—and while alcohol isn’t unhealthy for EVERYONE, the discourse can be pretty inescapable. Whether you’ve been alcohol free for years, curious about your relationship with alcohol, or trying to stop, this episode is for you!

This episode covers:

  • 00:03:08 - Tea & Crumpets: All Rhodes Lead Here by Mariana Zapata and delaying gratification by doing things slowly
  • 00:08:20 - Step Into My Office: How do I set boundaries with family related to alcohol?
  • 00:13:25 - The Lore: Val’s journey to an alcohol free life
  • 00:26:55 - The DSM: Alcohol in 2025
  • 00:57:36 - Now That's What I Call....OKAAAAY!
  • 00:59:41 - Val Pick: "Reasons I Drink" by Alanis Morissette
  • 01:02:06 - Em Pick: "Escapism." by Raye
  • 01:03:24 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Two 10 year old girls beat 2 chest grandmasters & the annual Gallup Life Evaluation index


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Alcohol culture is pervasive—and while alcohol isn’t unhealthy for EVERYONE, the discourse can be pretty inescapable. Whether you’ve been alcohol free for years, curious about your relationship with alcohol, or trying to stop, this episode is for you!

This episode covers:

  • 00:03:08 - Tea & Crumpets: All Rhodes Lead Here by Mariana Zapata and delaying gratification by doing things slowly
  • 00:08:20 - Step Into My Office: How do I set boundaries with family related to alcohol?
  • 00:13:25 - The Lore: Val’s journey to an alcohol free life
  • 00:26:55 - The DSM: Alcohol in 2025
  • 00:57:36 - Now That's What I Call....OKAAAAY!
  • 00:59:41 - Val Pick: "Reasons I Drink" by Alanis Morissette
  • 01:02:06 - Em Pick: "Escapism." by Raye
  • 01:03:24 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Two 10 year old girls beat 2 chest grandmasters & the annual Gallup Life Evaluation index


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>00b7723b-a067-46af-ad69-f4b1366c9d82Wed, 03 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -050001:10:09truefull2626Once a Cheater…? The One About Infidelity ❤️‍🩹Once a Cheater…? The One About Infidelity ❤️‍🩹In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into an always controversial topic: infidelity. They explore what infidelity actually is, statistics, why people cheat, cultural considerations, and the role therapy can play.

This episode covers:

  • 03:28 - Tea & Crumpets: The Osbournes and Shrinking Season 2
  • 06:08 - Step Into My Office: HELP! My friend is cheating…
  • 10:04 - The DSM: THE hottest debate in all media ever and IRL relationships… let’s talk about INFIDELITY
  • 38:29 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 41:52 - Emerson’s Pick: "My Mind" by Yebba
  • 46:45 - Valerie’s Pick: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Disco
  • 47:53 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: A former chef helping street dogs after they gave him hope in his darkest days & Dan Pelzer’s legacy

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In this episode, Valerie and Emerson dive into an always controversial topic: infidelity. They explore what infidelity actually is, statistics, why people cheat, cultural considerations, and the role therapy can play.

This episode covers:

  • 03:28 - Tea & Crumpets: The Osbournes and Shrinking Season 2
  • 06:08 - Step Into My Office: HELP! My friend is cheating…
  • 10:04 - The DSM: THE hottest debate in all media ever and IRL relationships… let’s talk about INFIDELITY
  • 38:29 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 41:52 - Emerson’s Pick: "My Mind" by Yebba
  • 46:45 - Valerie’s Pick: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Disco
  • 47:53 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: A former chef helping street dogs after they gave him hope in his darkest days & Dan Pelzer’s legacy

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>aa739cb7-8c90-4954-a90d-b14ef8125dadWed, 20 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -050055:30truefull2525Men’s Mental Health & The Power of Gaming with Sam DiMartino 👾Men’s Mental Health & The Power of Gaming with Sam DiMartino 👾In this episode, we are excited to dive into all things men’s mental health & the power of gaming with one of The Gaia Center’s team members, Sam DiMartino!

In his clinical work, Sam supports individuals and couples through an array of topics like grief, trauma, toxic masculinity + men’s issues, systemic oppression, identity exploration etc and also leads our men’s group Tearing Down The Walls! As our Client Journey Liaison he assists our leadership team with ensuring excellent client care and experience, and he does a damn good job. When he’s not therapizing, you can find him gaming, creating, being a literal comedian and sharing his love with his wife Ruby and their two cats Sophie and Claus. 


This episode covers:

  • 00:03:24 - Tea & Crumpets: forRest Mind Ambiance YouTube channel, Heartstopper, and Donkey Kong Bananza
  • 00:09:12 - Step Into My Office: Is my little brother addicted to video games?
  • 00:18:09 - The DSM: Men’s mental health and the impact of video games in today’s culture
  • 00:44:10 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 00:46:12 - Sam Pick: "ZZZ Top" by Aesop Rock
  • 00:46:53 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Older aged folks finding connection through gaming, a city-run program in Seoul, SK is combating isolation among adults of all ages who live alone, and Sam’s cat Claus
  • 00:50:14 - Sam Quizzes Val & Em on Gaming
  • 00:59:56 - Rapid Fire Q&A


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In this episode, we are excited to dive into all things men’s mental health & the power of gaming with one of The Gaia Center’s team members, Sam DiMartino!

In his clinical work, Sam supports individuals and couples through an array of topics like grief, trauma, toxic masculinity + men’s issues, systemic oppression, identity exploration etc and also leads our men’s group Tearing Down The Walls! As our Client Journey Liaison he assists our leadership team with ensuring excellent client care and experience, and he does a damn good job. When he’s not therapizing, you can find him gaming, creating, being a literal comedian and sharing his love with his wife Ruby and their two cats Sophie and Claus. 


This episode covers:

  • 00:03:24 - Tea & Crumpets: forRest Mind Ambiance YouTube channel, Heartstopper, and Donkey Kong Bananza
  • 00:09:12 - Step Into My Office: Is my little brother addicted to video games?
  • 00:18:09 - The DSM: Men’s mental health and the impact of video games in today’s culture
  • 00:44:10 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 00:46:12 - Sam Pick: "ZZZ Top" by Aesop Rock
  • 00:46:53 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Older aged folks finding connection through gaming, a city-run program in Seoul, SK is combating isolation among adults of all ages who live alone, and Sam’s cat Claus
  • 00:50:14 - Sam Quizzes Val & Em on Gaming
  • 00:59:56 - Rapid Fire Q&A


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>c99844b3-c4e7-4c8e-b36c-a1e5704aaedeWed, 06 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -050001:04:43truefull2424Bougie, Broke, and on a Budget - The Psychology of Money (Part 1)Bougie, Broke, and on a Budget - The Psychology of Money (Part 1)Today’s episode is allllll about MONEY HUNNY – how we are influenced to think about the construct of money, financial wellbeing, and balancing all of this in the modern landscape of capitalism and consumerism.

This episode covers:

  • 06:59 - Tea & Crumpets: Stretching in the pool + Courtney Carver
  • 11:27 - Step Into My Office: Navigating financial boundaries with friends 
  • 18:04 - The DSM: The Psychology of Money
  • 44:17 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 45:41 - Emerson Pick: "Seven Rings" by Ariana Grande
  • 48:07 - Valerie Pick: "Look At Me Now" by Karmin (CB Cover)
  • 48:55 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: H-E-B supporting Texas flood relief efforts + a crow visiting his Danish “chosen family”

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Today’s episode is allllll about MONEY HUNNY – how we are influenced to think about the construct of money, financial wellbeing, and balancing all of this in the modern landscape of capitalism and consumerism.

This episode covers:

  • 06:59 - Tea & Crumpets: Stretching in the pool + Courtney Carver
  • 11:27 - Step Into My Office: Navigating financial boundaries with friends 
  • 18:04 - The DSM: The Psychology of Money
  • 44:17 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 45:41 - Emerson Pick: "Seven Rings" by Ariana Grande
  • 48:07 - Valerie Pick: "Look At Me Now" by Karmin (CB Cover)
  • 48:55 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: H-E-B supporting Texas flood relief efforts + a crow visiting his Danish “chosen family”

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>e32bd52e-4da7-4e21-b834-cc64485e384eWed, 23 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -050054:11truefull2323Unplugging, Digital Detox, and the Overwhelming Urge to Throw it in the Ocean 🤳🌊Unplugging, Digital Detox, and the Overwhelming Urge to Throw it in the Ocean 🤳🌊In today’s world, there’s an interesting juxtaposition between constant (and often necessary) use of technology coupled with conversations around unplugging. In this episode, we dive into digital detoxing, why everyone suddenly wants a flip phone, and how our nervous systems are begging for boundaries. From nostalgic phone memories to the psychology of being “always on,” we’re asking: can we ever truly unplug? (Spoiler: you don’t have to throw your phone in the ocean… but we get it.)

This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In today’s world, there’s an interesting juxtaposition between constant (and often necessary) use of technology coupled with conversations around unplugging. In this episode, we dive into digital detoxing, why everyone suddenly wants a flip phone, and how our nervous systems are begging for boundaries. From nostalgic phone memories to the psychology of being “always on,” we’re asking: can we ever truly unplug? (Spoiler: you don’t have to throw your phone in the ocean… but we get it.)

This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>e46943d2-b3db-4d24-804d-10aab626029fWed, 09 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -050051:51truefull2222Living Your Activism Series: Ella Magers is a Voice for the AnimalsLiving Your Activism Series: Ella Magers is a Voice for the AnimalsIn this episode, we have our first installment of a special new mini series titled Living Your Activism. In this series, we're talking to activists and advocates across a wide variety of missions and passions about how they found their thing, what they do to stay grounded and connected with joy amidst all the chaos in the world, and what it means to truly live their activism, not just as a checkbox or some burnout inducing giant commitment, but as something that's interwoven throughout their life in a nourishing, sustainable way.

Our guest for this first installment is Ella Magers, MSW, a holistic fitness rebel on a mission to ignite fierce compassion and revolutionize what it means to be healthy and fit.


She’s a thought-leader, professional speaker, podcast host, and the dynamic creator and host of the Evolution of Fitness with Ella YouTube show—a space where strength meets soul and transformation goes way beyond the physical.


Vegan since 1995, Ella holds a Master’s in Social Work and is a certified personal trainer, yoga instructor, and food freedom coach. With over two decades of experience in the wellness space, she’s helped thousands break free from toxic diet culture, rewire self-sabotaging patterns, and build powerful, plant-strong bodies they love living in.


Ella is a former bikini bodybuilding champion and lifelong athlete who blends mindset, movement, and plant-based nutrition into transformational coaching that sticks. She was named one of the world’s top trainers by Bodybuilding.com and Shape Magazine, and serves on the board of Hogs & Kisses Farm Sanctuary.


Based in Miami Beach, you’ll find her training, teaching, filming, and adventuring with her beloved rescue chihuahua, Fiona.


This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In this episode, we have our first installment of a special new mini series titled Living Your Activism. In this series, we're talking to activists and advocates across a wide variety of missions and passions about how they found their thing, what they do to stay grounded and connected with joy amidst all the chaos in the world, and what it means to truly live their activism, not just as a checkbox or some burnout inducing giant commitment, but as something that's interwoven throughout their life in a nourishing, sustainable way.

Our guest for this first installment is Ella Magers, MSW, a holistic fitness rebel on a mission to ignite fierce compassion and revolutionize what it means to be healthy and fit.


She’s a thought-leader, professional speaker, podcast host, and the dynamic creator and host of the Evolution of Fitness with Ella YouTube show—a space where strength meets soul and transformation goes way beyond the physical.


Vegan since 1995, Ella holds a Master’s in Social Work and is a certified personal trainer, yoga instructor, and food freedom coach. With over two decades of experience in the wellness space, she’s helped thousands break free from toxic diet culture, rewire self-sabotaging patterns, and build powerful, plant-strong bodies they love living in.


Ella is a former bikini bodybuilding champion and lifelong athlete who blends mindset, movement, and plant-based nutrition into transformational coaching that sticks. She was named one of the world’s top trainers by Bodybuilding.com and Shape Magazine, and serves on the board of Hogs & Kisses Farm Sanctuary.


Based in Miami Beach, you’ll find her training, teaching, filming, and adventuring with her beloved rescue chihuahua, Fiona.


This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>54635925-05df-4c83-8159-7f08e49e5b8eWed, 25 Jun 2025 06:00:00 -050045:51truefull2121Turns Out, Talking To Strangers is Healing: The Power of Group TherapyTurns Out, Talking To Strangers is Healing: The Power of Group TherapyWhile the thought of telling a group of strangers about your inner feelings can be scary for many people, group therapy can actually be incredibly powerful. In this episode, we explore the roots of group therapy, the different types of groups, the benefits, times when group therapy is and isn’t a good fit, and resources for finding a group appropriate for your healing journey.

This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>While the thought of telling a group of strangers about your inner feelings can be scary for many people, group therapy can actually be incredibly powerful. In this episode, we explore the roots of group therapy, the different types of groups, the benefits, times when group therapy is and isn’t a good fit, and resources for finding a group appropriate for your healing journey.

This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>c014b32b-c99f-46a4-8e33-92c4a03db8cdWed, 11 Jun 2025 06:00:00 -050001:03:23truefull2020Help, I’m Spiritually Curious But Existentially Exhausted 🙏🫠Help, I’m Spiritually Curious But Existentially Exhausted 🙏🫠Spirituality, religion, and being “woo-woo” are all hot topics these days – especially here in Nashville!

In this episode, Val and Emerson tackle WTF spirituality actually means, how it differs from religion, how it intertwines with existentialism, and low-stakes ways to engage with it while also avoiding spiritual bypassing.

And, as always, we get into other good stuff, including a spooky airBNB story from Val’s cousin (and The Gaia Center’s Director of Operations) Rebecca 👻


This episode covers:

  • 06:04 - Tea & Crumpets: Val’s new cooking routine + Emerson’s obsession with Swig
  • 10:32 - Step Into My Office: Impermanence and Existentialism
  • 14:32 - The Lore: Rebecca’s Spooky AirBNB experience
  • 19:54 - The DSM: The Spirituality, Religion + Woo Woo Conundrum
  • 50:26 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 52:48 - Val Pick: "Goose Snow Cone" by Aimee Mann
  • 53:50 - "Older" by Lizzy McAlpine
  • 54:58 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How a music conductor is navigating Parkinson’s Disease + South Africa’s ‘soccer grannies’ take the field for kicks and camaraderie


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Spirituality, religion, and being “woo-woo” are all hot topics these days – especially here in Nashville!

In this episode, Val and Emerson tackle WTF spirituality actually means, how it differs from religion, how it intertwines with existentialism, and low-stakes ways to engage with it while also avoiding spiritual bypassing.

And, as always, we get into other good stuff, including a spooky airBNB story from Val’s cousin (and The Gaia Center’s Director of Operations) Rebecca 👻


This episode covers:

  • 06:04 - Tea & Crumpets: Val’s new cooking routine + Emerson’s obsession with Swig
  • 10:32 - Step Into My Office: Impermanence and Existentialism
  • 14:32 - The Lore: Rebecca’s Spooky AirBNB experience
  • 19:54 - The DSM: The Spirituality, Religion + Woo Woo Conundrum
  • 50:26 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 52:48 - Val Pick: "Goose Snow Cone" by Aimee Mann
  • 53:50 - "Older" by Lizzy McAlpine
  • 54:58 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How a music conductor is navigating Parkinson’s Disease + South Africa’s ‘soccer grannies’ take the field for kicks and camaraderie


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>5571323f-a57c-4a8d-b0d9-68a39fbfa99eWed, 28 May 2025 06:00:00 -050001:00:17truefull1919The Couples Therapy EpisodeThe Couples Therapy EpisodeFor many people, hearing “couples therapy” brings up the idea of a relationship being in crisis or on the brink of ending – and while couples therapy can be impactful in those cases, there is so much more to it and so many other circumstances where it can be beneficial. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson get into what couples therapy really is, when it’s helpful, when it’s not helpful, and suggestions for what to look for if you’re interested in couples therapy. 

This episode covers:

  • 00:03:23 - Tea & Crumpets: Zumba at the YMCA + Harmen Hoek
  • 00:06:53 - The Lore: How Couples Therapy Helped Val
  • 00:14:46 - The DSM: What Couples Therapy Really Is
  • 00:53:20 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 00:55:27 - Em Pick: "A Thousand Trees" by Stereophonics
  • 00:57:13 - Val Pick: "In Keeping Secrets of Earth: 3" by Coheed & Cambria
  • 00:58:31 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste + how a 90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animals

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>For many people, hearing “couples therapy” brings up the idea of a relationship being in crisis or on the brink of ending – and while couples therapy can be impactful in those cases, there is so much more to it and so many other circumstances where it can be beneficial. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson get into what couples therapy really is, when it’s helpful, when it’s not helpful, and suggestions for what to look for if you’re interested in couples therapy. 

This episode covers:

  • 00:03:23 - Tea & Crumpets: Zumba at the YMCA + Harmen Hoek
  • 00:06:53 - The Lore: How Couples Therapy Helped Val
  • 00:14:46 - The DSM: What Couples Therapy Really Is
  • 00:53:20 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 00:55:27 - Em Pick: "A Thousand Trees" by Stereophonics
  • 00:57:13 - Val Pick: "In Keeping Secrets of Earth: 3" by Coheed & Cambria
  • 00:58:31 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste + how a 90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animals

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:


Connect with Us:


DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>4f825135-bba8-4845-902b-7c2e1a7b2094Wed, 14 May 2025 06:00:00 -050001:03:40truefull1818Why OCD Is NOT Just Being “So Organized” 🙅Why OCD Is NOT Just Being “So Organized” 🙅Despite misinformed pop culture statements, OCD isn’t a punchline—it’s a chronic brain loop that can be incredibly challenging for individuals to receive the care they need. In this episode, Val and Em get into the ins-and-outs of OCD, including suggestions for folks who are struggling with it, as well as folks who have a friend or loved one who is struggling. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff including TV recs and some hopeful headlines – like a rancher’s dog rescuing an infant 🥹

This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Despite misinformed pop culture statements, OCD isn’t a punchline—it’s a chronic brain loop that can be incredibly challenging for individuals to receive the care they need. In this episode, Val and Em get into the ins-and-outs of OCD, including suggestions for folks who are struggling with it, as well as folks who have a friend or loved one who is struggling. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff including TV recs and some hopeful headlines – like a rancher’s dog rescuing an infant 🥹

This episode covers:



Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>bbf1f2b7-f354-4e38-ab63-d4371b97849cWed, 30 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -050050:48truefull1717Help! The Voice in My Head Is… Kind Of a B*tchHelp! The Voice in My Head Is… Kind Of a B*tchIf you’ve ever struggled with a rough inner critic, you’re not alone. While the judgments of the world can certainly get in the way of living your best life, we’re often our own worst enemies. But the good news is that Valerie and Emerson have you covered with a deep dive into the psychology of self-criticism and tips for how to navigate it. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff, like what “Queening Out” means 💁🏻‍♀️

This episode covers:

  • 04:21 - Tea & Crumpets: Book Lovers by Emily Henry and Dense Bean Salad
  • 07:41 - Step Into My Office: Navigating shame for not “being productive”
  • 10:58 - The DSM: Let’s Talk About The The Inner Critic
  • 37:55 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 39:14 - Emerson Pick: "Leave (Get Out)" by JoJo
  • 40:23 - Valerie Pick: "Grace" by Conventional Wisdom
  • 45:50 - Wait...What? - Queening Out
  • 47:19 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Cory Booker + Expanded Emergency Contraceptive Access in England


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>If you’ve ever struggled with a rough inner critic, you’re not alone. While the judgments of the world can certainly get in the way of living your best life, we’re often our own worst enemies. But the good news is that Valerie and Emerson have you covered with a deep dive into the psychology of self-criticism and tips for how to navigate it. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff, like what “Queening Out” means 💁🏻‍♀️

This episode covers:

  • 04:21 - Tea & Crumpets: Book Lovers by Emily Henry and Dense Bean Salad
  • 07:41 - Step Into My Office: Navigating shame for not “being productive”
  • 10:58 - The DSM: Let’s Talk About The The Inner Critic
  • 37:55 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
  • 39:14 - Emerson Pick: "Leave (Get Out)" by JoJo
  • 40:23 - Valerie Pick: "Grace" by Conventional Wisdom
  • 45:50 - Wait...What? - Queening Out
  • 47:19 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Cory Booker + Expanded Emergency Contraceptive Access in England


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>f5f23df3-a7ae-43f3-a36f-686ec4d45349Wed, 16 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -050052:57truefull1616The One About Adult Friendship 🫂The One About Adult Friendship 🫂If you’ve struggled to build or maintain friendships as an adult, you’re not alone – and in this episode, we’ve got you covered!

This episode covers:

  • 02:20 - Tea & Crumpets: Adolescence on Netflix + Lights On audio documentary
  • 07:44 - Step Into My Office: Tips for a fizzling friendship
  • 12:41 - The DSM: Seeking/Building Adult Friendships in these trying times
  • 32:41 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY! 
  • 34:16 - Val’s Pick: "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C
  • 35:03 - Em’s Pick: "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars
  • 35:12 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Gene therapy for sickle cell anemia + a trapped dolphin galvanizing a cleanup crew 


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>If you’ve struggled to build or maintain friendships as an adult, you’re not alone – and in this episode, we’ve got you covered!

This episode covers:

  • 02:20 - Tea & Crumpets: Adolescence on Netflix + Lights On audio documentary
  • 07:44 - Step Into My Office: Tips for a fizzling friendship
  • 12:41 - The DSM: Seeking/Building Adult Friendships in these trying times
  • 32:41 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY! 
  • 34:16 - Val’s Pick: "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C
  • 35:03 - Em’s Pick: "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars
  • 35:12 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Gene therapy for sickle cell anemia + a trapped dolphin galvanizing a cleanup crew 


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>fb9b659f-f630-47f4-9ad2-ecfa0438c2a8Wed, 02 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -050040:10truefull1515Body Grief & Disability Advocacy with Jayne MattinglyBody Grief & Disability Advocacy with Jayne MattinglyToday’s episode is so exciting as we have our first guest external to The Gaia Center – the phenomenal Jayne Mattingly.

JAYNE MATTINGLY is a disability advocate and eating disorder helping professional. She is also the Founder of the non-for-profit The AND Initiative, which aims to provide inspiration, advocacy, resources, support, and the gifting mobility aids to those with chronic illness and physical disabilities. Jayne lives in South Carolina with her husband and pets.Through her personal experiences and in sharing the stories from everyday people, Jayne illustrates that our body has not and will never be against us. Her new book, THIS IS BODY GRIEF is where we begin.

This episode covers:

  • 02:17 - Tea & Crumpets: Apple Cider Vinegar on Netflix, Structured app, and Kendrick Lamar at the Superbowl Halftime Show
  • 11:10 - Step Into My Office: Puberty and all the feels it brings
  • 17:57 - The Lore: Jayne’s experiences with menopause in her 30s
  • 25:00 - The DSM: Body Grief
  • 50:04 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY! "Supergirl" by Krystal Harris

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Jayne Mattingly:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Today’s episode is so exciting as we have our first guest external to The Gaia Center – the phenomenal Jayne Mattingly.

JAYNE MATTINGLY is a disability advocate and eating disorder helping professional. She is also the Founder of the non-for-profit The AND Initiative, which aims to provide inspiration, advocacy, resources, support, and the gifting mobility aids to those with chronic illness and physical disabilities. Jayne lives in South Carolina with her husband and pets.Through her personal experiences and in sharing the stories from everyday people, Jayne illustrates that our body has not and will never be against us. Her new book, THIS IS BODY GRIEF is where we begin.

This episode covers:

  • 02:17 - Tea & Crumpets: Apple Cider Vinegar on Netflix, Structured app, and Kendrick Lamar at the Superbowl Halftime Show
  • 11:10 - Step Into My Office: Puberty and all the feels it brings
  • 17:57 - The Lore: Jayne’s experiences with menopause in her 30s
  • 25:00 - The DSM: Body Grief
  • 50:04 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY! "Supergirl" by Krystal Harris

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Jayne Mattingly:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>91e0f5c1-48e2-4ad9-96d1-f2cfea8c0b91Wed, 19 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -050001:00:15truefull1414Parasocial Relationships, AKA The Lopsided Bestie Squad 👯‍♀️Parasocial Relationships, AKA The Lopsided Bestie Squad 👯‍♀️In this week’s episode, Valerie and Emerson are coming at ya live from the corner of a hotel by the Nashville airport thanks to some less than stellar weather before they head to a hypnotherapy training 🤓

The main event in this episode is all things parasocial relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And as always, we get into plenty more fun stuff, including what having “the ick” means and some hopeful headlines.

This episode covers:

  • 05:29 - Tea & Crumpets: Nashville Public Library’s Out of County card + Wakes (Ada & Nathan Ketchie)
  • 09:09 - Step Into My Office: What to do when you feel guilty for setting boundaries
  • 12:45 - The DSM: WTF Are Parasocial Relationships?
  • 38:50 - Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY!
  • 40:53 - Val pick: "I Miss You" by Incubus
  • 43:09 - Em pick: "Love Me More" by Sam Smith
  • 43:27 - Wait... What?: The Ick
  • 48:55 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Michael Jordan opens another clinic for underserved populations + Can an unlikely love story overcome divisions in Colombia?


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In this week’s episode, Valerie and Emerson are coming at ya live from the corner of a hotel by the Nashville airport thanks to some less than stellar weather before they head to a hypnotherapy training 🤓

The main event in this episode is all things parasocial relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And as always, we get into plenty more fun stuff, including what having “the ick” means and some hopeful headlines.

This episode covers:

  • 05:29 - Tea & Crumpets: Nashville Public Library’s Out of County card + Wakes (Ada & Nathan Ketchie)
  • 09:09 - Step Into My Office: What to do when you feel guilty for setting boundaries
  • 12:45 - The DSM: WTF Are Parasocial Relationships?
  • 38:50 - Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY!
  • 40:53 - Val pick: "I Miss You" by Incubus
  • 43:09 - Em pick: "Love Me More" by Sam Smith
  • 43:27 - Wait... What?: The Ick
  • 48:55 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Michael Jordan opens another clinic for underserved populations + Can an unlikely love story overcome divisions in Colombia?


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>48391ca5-acc3-4f8f-b13e-1d45fd3cd6ebWed, 05 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -050054:35truefull1313TOO MANY TABS 😶‍🌫️ The ADHD EpisodeTOO MANY TABS 😶‍🌫️ The ADHD EpisodeConversations about ADHD (some helpful, some the complete opposite) are practically everywhere in our current world. In this episode, Val and Emerson take a deep dive into what ADHD really is, beyond what short form content often misses. Whether you have ADHD, think you might have ADHD, love someone with ADHD, or are just curious about WTF it is, this episode is for you!

This episode covers:

  • 01:17 - Random recent hyperfixations
  • 03:30 - Tea & Crumpets - Reading ambience music on YouTube + technology boundaries/the joy of missing out
  • 08:38 - Step Into My Office: Struggling to read an adult despite reading for hours on end as a kid
  • 14:43 - The DSM - All Things ADHD
  • 46:39 - Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY!
  • 47:42 - Em Pick: "ADHD" by Mae Stephens
  • 50:36 - Val Pick: "Where Is My Mind?" by The Pixies
  • 51:18 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Stories to Unite Bangladesh + Cats with arthritis wearing beanies

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:


Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Conversations about ADHD (some helpful, some the complete opposite) are practically everywhere in our current world. In this episode, Val and Emerson take a deep dive into what ADHD really is, beyond what short form content often misses. Whether you have ADHD, think you might have ADHD, love someone with ADHD, or are just curious about WTF it is, this episode is for you!

This episode covers:

  • 01:17 - Random recent hyperfixations
  • 03:30 - Tea & Crumpets - Reading ambience music on YouTube + technology boundaries/the joy of missing out
  • 08:38 - Step Into My Office: Struggling to read an adult despite reading for hours on end as a kid
  • 14:43 - The DSM - All Things ADHD
  • 46:39 - Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY!
  • 47:42 - Em Pick: "ADHD" by Mae Stephens
  • 50:36 - Val Pick: "Where Is My Mind?" by The Pixies
  • 51:18 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Stories to Unite Bangladesh + Cats with arthritis wearing beanies

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:


Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>bf1faf15-2398-4e58-95df-366f65612e45Wed, 19 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -050058:09truefull1212The Sleep EpisodeThe Sleep EpisodeAhhhh, sleep. The thing we spend a third of our life doing and that many people don’t get enough of – grab those jammies and eye masks and let’s talk about sleep!

This episode covers:

  • 01:59 - Tea & Crumpets: From Here to the Great Unknown + Activations App
  • 06:25 - Step Into My Office: When work struggles seep into our personal lives
  • 11:13 - The DSM: Talking about all things sleep
  • 40:48 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAAY!
  • 41:50 - Em Pick: "Adore You" by Miley Cyrus
  • 43:58 - Val Pick: "Dante's Prayer" by Loreena McKennitt
  • 44:24 - Wait… What?! (~the sleep edition~) - wild, viral bedtime routines
  • 46:32 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - A retired bishop transforms guns into garden tools to help youths envision peace and an entrepreneur in Tanzania transforms cement bags into solar-charged backpack to help children read at night

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Ahhhh, sleep. The thing we spend a third of our life doing and that many people don’t get enough of – grab those jammies and eye masks and let’s talk about sleep!

This episode covers:

  • 01:59 - Tea & Crumpets: From Here to the Great Unknown + Activations App
  • 06:25 - Step Into My Office: When work struggles seep into our personal lives
  • 11:13 - The DSM: Talking about all things sleep
  • 40:48 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAAY!
  • 41:50 - Em Pick: "Adore You" by Miley Cyrus
  • 43:58 - Val Pick: "Dante's Prayer" by Loreena McKennitt
  • 44:24 - Wait… What?! (~the sleep edition~) - wild, viral bedtime routines
  • 46:32 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - A retired bishop transforms guns into garden tools to help youths envision peace and an entrepreneur in Tanzania transforms cement bags into solar-charged backpack to help children read at night

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>eb05c831-c35d-459d-ab64-2d67bbc4e20dWed, 05 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -050051:55truefull1111How to Get the Most Out of TherapyHow to Get the Most Out of TherapyWhether you’re currently in therapy or have been exploring finding a therapist, you’ve probably wondered, “How do I get the most out of therapy?”

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson share their top tips for making the most out of your sessions…and Emerson also shares a real therapist moment of ripping her pants at the office 🫣

As always, there’s so much more, including great song recommendations and some hopeful moments to get you through the chaos and heaviness of living in this world.

This episode covers:

  • 00:06:34 - Tea & Crumpets – KINRGY and updates on Em’s Project Panning!
  • 00:11:09 - Reminder for Step Into My Office submissions (no segment this episode)
  • 00:11:42 - The Lore – Emerson ripped her pants at the office 😳
  • 00:19:16 - The DSM – How to get the most out of therapy
  • 00:51:57 - Now That’s What I Call…. OKAAAAY
  • 00:53:22 - Val pick: Veruca Salt - “Volcano Girls”
  • 00:55:07 - Em pick: Ed Sheeran - “I’m A Mess”
  • 00:56:10 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix – How a restaurant owner is helping feed survivors of the LA wildfires + an aid worker helping South Sudanese residents with disabilities create disaster preparedness plans

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Whether you’re currently in therapy or have been exploring finding a therapist, you’ve probably wondered, “How do I get the most out of therapy?”

In this episode, Valerie and Emerson share their top tips for making the most out of your sessions…and Emerson also shares a real therapist moment of ripping her pants at the office 🫣

As always, there’s so much more, including great song recommendations and some hopeful moments to get you through the chaos and heaviness of living in this world.

This episode covers:

  • 00:06:34 - Tea & Crumpets – KINRGY and updates on Em’s Project Panning!
  • 00:11:09 - Reminder for Step Into My Office submissions (no segment this episode)
  • 00:11:42 - The Lore – Emerson ripped her pants at the office 😳
  • 00:19:16 - The DSM – How to get the most out of therapy
  • 00:51:57 - Now That’s What I Call…. OKAAAAY
  • 00:53:22 - Val pick: Veruca Salt - “Volcano Girls”
  • 00:55:07 - Em pick: Ed Sheeran - “I’m A Mess”
  • 00:56:10 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix – How a restaurant owner is helping feed survivors of the LA wildfires + an aid worker helping South Sudanese residents with disabilities create disaster preparedness plans

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>b1ae550f-0366-4493-a40a-c90934ecf58eWed, 22 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -050001:04:35truefull1010Kicking Off the New Year with Compassionate Self-DisciplineKicking Off the New Year with Compassionate Self-Discipline2025 is officially here, and in this week’s episode, Val and Emerson are talking all about how to kick off the new year with compassionate self-discipline, instead of the often toxic #newyearnewme mentality. 

This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>2025 is officially here, and in this week’s episode, Val and Emerson are talking all about how to kick off the new year with compassionate self-discipline, instead of the often toxic #newyearnewme mentality. 

This episode covers:



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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>98f63dbf-0621-4bb4-92b5-bd3f57738280Wed, 08 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -050044:23truefull99Deep Dive on our Fave Besties, ✨ ANXIETY & STRESS ✨Deep Dive on our Fave Besties, ✨ ANXIETY & STRESS ✨In this week’s episode, Val and Em take a deep dive into two topics that are relatable for pretty much everyone in today’s society – anxiety and stress 😅

From basic definitions, to stats, to practical tips for how to actually manage anxiety and stress, this episode is a must listen.

And, as always, we get into so much more – including some of Val’s lore 🤪


This episode covers:

  • 1:00 - Thoughts on the end of the year/new year reflections
  • 02:47 - Tea & Crumpets: Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates & Buy Now, the Shopping Conspiracy (on Netflix)
  • 08:52 - The Lore: Some of Val’s most memorable moments from her old job
  • 13:50 - The DSM: Navigating stress and anxiety
  • 40:23 - Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY!
  • 42:24 - Em Pick: “American Teenager” by Ethel Cain
  • 44:35 - Val Pick: “The Parting Glass” by The Wailin' Jennys
  • 46:20 - Wait…What?: What does “unaliving” mean?
  • 52:47 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How two grandparents are selling Christmas trees to fund their grandchildren’s college education & a positive rat experiment related to anticipatory savoring


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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In this week’s episode, Val and Em take a deep dive into two topics that are relatable for pretty much everyone in today’s society – anxiety and stress 😅

From basic definitions, to stats, to practical tips for how to actually manage anxiety and stress, this episode is a must listen.

And, as always, we get into so much more – including some of Val’s lore 🤪


This episode covers:

  • 1:00 - Thoughts on the end of the year/new year reflections
  • 02:47 - Tea & Crumpets: Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates & Buy Now, the Shopping Conspiracy (on Netflix)
  • 08:52 - The Lore: Some of Val’s most memorable moments from her old job
  • 13:50 - The DSM: Navigating stress and anxiety
  • 40:23 - Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY!
  • 42:24 - Em Pick: “American Teenager” by Ethel Cain
  • 44:35 - Val Pick: “The Parting Glass” by The Wailin' Jennys
  • 46:20 - Wait…What?: What does “unaliving” mean?
  • 52:47 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How two grandparents are selling Christmas trees to fund their grandchildren’s college education & a positive rat experiment related to anticipatory savoring


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>9a63f9b6-493b-498c-bdcf-442cb1fe20d4Wed, 25 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -050058:29truefull88Overconsumption Gone Wild 💸🫠Overconsumption Gone Wild 💸🫠This week’s episode is very timely – from exploring how influencer culture and hyperconsumerism intertwine (we’re lookin’ at you, post-Black-Friday-buyer’s-remorse 😅), to the wild ride that was Emerson acquiring her new “happy light”, the sweet story of two friends that met through an accidental text message, and so much more – this episode has something for everyone!

This episode covers:

  • 03:34 - Tea & Crumpets: Outlander is BACK and Wicked is AMAZING!!!
  • 07:57 - The Lore: How Emerson got her happy light
  • 13:53 - The DSM: Influencer Culture + Hyperconsumerism
  • 47:02 - Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY
  • 48:11 - Val’s Pick: “Paper Bag” by Fiona Apple
  • 49:46 - Em’s Pick: “Happy & Sad” by Kacey Musgraves
  • 50:23 - “Fire Dumpster Phoenix”: Two friends that met through an accidental text message spend their 9th Thanksgiving together + rural goat “nurses” in India

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>This week’s episode is very timely – from exploring how influencer culture and hyperconsumerism intertwine (we’re lookin’ at you, post-Black-Friday-buyer’s-remorse 😅), to the wild ride that was Emerson acquiring her new “happy light”, the sweet story of two friends that met through an accidental text message, and so much more – this episode has something for everyone!

This episode covers:

  • 03:34 - Tea & Crumpets: Outlander is BACK and Wicked is AMAZING!!!
  • 07:57 - The Lore: How Emerson got her happy light
  • 13:53 - The DSM: Influencer Culture + Hyperconsumerism
  • 47:02 - Now That’s What I Call…OKAAAAY
  • 48:11 - Val’s Pick: “Paper Bag” by Fiona Apple
  • 49:46 - Em’s Pick: “Happy & Sad” by Kacey Musgraves
  • 50:23 - “Fire Dumpster Phoenix”: Two friends that met through an accidental text message spend their 9th Thanksgiving together + rural goat “nurses” in India

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>9db79b87-b5b0-4449-b604-fec2fa5a544cWed, 11 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -050056:38truefull77The Fascinating Mindf*ck that is NostalgiaThe Fascinating Mindf*ck that is NostalgiaAh, nostalgia…

What is it about this slippery little beastie that can simultaneously turn on all the good feels of reminiscing on the good ole’ days, while also making you compare your current self to your past self in a way that makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out? 

We are diving deep into the good, bad, and ugly of nostalgia in this episode— and a lot more!

In this episode of But For Real, we’re gabbing about:

  • 01:18 - Val and Emerson’s post election reflections
  • 05:10 - Tea & Crumpets - Hygge and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico
  • 11:00 - Step Into My Office - Tips for navigating seasonal mood shifts
  • 16:45 - The DSM - The Psychology of Nostalgia
  • 34:51 - Now That’s What I Call… OKAAAAY
  • 36:22 - Em’s Pick: “Potential Breakup Song” by Aly & AJ
  • 37:44 - Val’s Pick: “At Your Funeral” by Saves the Day
  • 38:34 - Wait…What? - What’s the deal with Snapchat?
  • 44:40 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Congressman Andy Kim won his race for a US Senate seat for NJ (first Korean-American to be elected to the US senate!) and a California mom’s reaction to passing the bar on the first try goes viral on TikTok

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DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Ah, nostalgia…

What is it about this slippery little beastie that can simultaneously turn on all the good feels of reminiscing on the good ole’ days, while also making you compare your current self to your past self in a way that makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out? 

We are diving deep into the good, bad, and ugly of nostalgia in this episode— and a lot more!

In this episode of But For Real, we’re gabbing about:

  • 01:18 - Val and Emerson’s post election reflections
  • 05:10 - Tea & Crumpets - Hygge and San Miguel de Allende, Mexico
  • 11:00 - Step Into My Office - Tips for navigating seasonal mood shifts
  • 16:45 - The DSM - The Psychology of Nostalgia
  • 34:51 - Now That’s What I Call… OKAAAAY
  • 36:22 - Em’s Pick: “Potential Breakup Song” by Aly & AJ
  • 37:44 - Val’s Pick: “At Your Funeral” by Saves the Day
  • 38:34 - Wait…What? - What’s the deal with Snapchat?
  • 44:40 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Congressman Andy Kim won his race for a US Senate seat for NJ (first Korean-American to be elected to the US senate!) and a California mom’s reaction to passing the bar on the first try goes viral on TikTok

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>c2c8434a-67de-4a17-b1c3-217605a3e4f6Wed, 27 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -050050:47truefull66Dating & Attachment Styles in the App EraDating & Attachment Styles in the App EraWhile this week’s episode is airing in a post-2024 election world, it was recorded prior to the election – so you’ll get to hear Val & Emerson’s thoughts + advice for their future selves…which is now advice for their current selves. 😵‍💫🤪

This episode runs the gamut from Dancing With The Stars & Bad Monkey, some of Emerson’s lore, whatever TF touching grass means, and our main event – navigating dating and attachment styles in the app era.

So, whether you’re looking for a good TV or music rec, want to reconnect with your own embarrassing middle school memories, or need help navigating the treacherous waters of dating apps, we’ve got you covered.

This episode covers:

  • 01:20 - Val & Emerson’s pre-election thoughts + advice for their future selves
  • 05:26 - Tea & Crumpets - Dancing With The Stars & Bad Monkey on Apple TV
  • 10:39 - The Lore - Emerson’s self-proclaimed “very embarrassing and earnest story” of her first day of 6th grade
  • 14:38 - The DSM - Attachment Styles in the App Era
  • 44:07 - Now That’s What I Call…Okaaaay
  • 46:04 - Emerson’s Pick: “doomsday” by Lizzy McAlpine
  • 48:43 - Valerie’s Pick: “Control” by Poe
  • 49:50 - Wait…What? – What does the slang phrase “touch grass” actually mean?
  • 52:14 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix – The e-learning platform Flowdiary & UK researchers getting funding to create a vaccine that prevents ovarian cancer


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>While this week’s episode is airing in a post-2024 election world, it was recorded prior to the election – so you’ll get to hear Val & Emerson’s thoughts + advice for their future selves…which is now advice for their current selves. 😵‍💫🤪

This episode runs the gamut from Dancing With The Stars & Bad Monkey, some of Emerson’s lore, whatever TF touching grass means, and our main event – navigating dating and attachment styles in the app era.

So, whether you’re looking for a good TV or music rec, want to reconnect with your own embarrassing middle school memories, or need help navigating the treacherous waters of dating apps, we’ve got you covered.

This episode covers:

  • 01:20 - Val & Emerson’s pre-election thoughts + advice for their future selves
  • 05:26 - Tea & Crumpets - Dancing With The Stars & Bad Monkey on Apple TV
  • 10:39 - The Lore - Emerson’s self-proclaimed “very embarrassing and earnest story” of her first day of 6th grade
  • 14:38 - The DSM - Attachment Styles in the App Era
  • 44:07 - Now That’s What I Call…Okaaaay
  • 46:04 - Emerson’s Pick: “doomsday” by Lizzy McAlpine
  • 48:43 - Valerie’s Pick: “Control” by Poe
  • 49:50 - Wait…What? – What does the slang phrase “touch grass” actually mean?
  • 52:14 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix – The e-learning platform Flowdiary & UK researchers getting funding to create a vaccine that prevents ovarian cancer


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>99f69dc1-bd58-4e9a-9610-1d237be10b26Wed, 13 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -050001:01:11truefull55Will AI replace therapists? 🤖🫠Will AI replace therapists? 🤖🫠You can’t watch more than 10 minutes of news these days without hearing some reference to AI (our bff, artificial intelligence)— and it’s popping up everywhere from celebrities and politics to music, shopping, and healthcare. In this ep, we’re breaking down the pros and cons, ethical considerations, and future directions of AI specifically within mental healthcare and therapy— and it is a JUICY one, y’all. And of course as always, we also get into a lot more!

This episode covers:

  • 00:54 - Intro: Emerson seeing Chappel Roan and Val’s Texas Trip
  • 03:46 - Tea & Crumpets: The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes and Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story on Netflix
  • 08:11 - Step Into My Office: Navigating family estrangement when wanting to stay close to all members involved
  • 13:36 - The Lore: Shea Wingate’s experiences with grief and learning to befriend the “grief monster”
  • 20:16 - The DSM: AI & Mental Health – Advantages, Dangers, Ethical Considerations, and Future Directions
  • 46:58 - Now That’s What I Call…Ooookay
  • 48:16 - Val’s Pick: “Only Hope” by Mandy Moore
  • 50:34 - Emerson’s Pick: “Be Careful With Yourself” by Julia Jacklin
  • 52:34 - Wait…What: WTF is a kiki?!
  • 54:30 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Cats ‘hired’ to motivate security guards in Philippines and Thailand becomes first Southeastern Asian country to legalize marriage equality!!

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:


AI Journaling Apps:


Connect with Us:


DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>You can’t watch more than 10 minutes of news these days without hearing some reference to AI (our bff, artificial intelligence)— and it’s popping up everywhere from celebrities and politics to music, shopping, and healthcare. In this ep, we’re breaking down the pros and cons, ethical considerations, and future directions of AI specifically within mental healthcare and therapy— and it is a JUICY one, y’all. And of course as always, we also get into a lot more!

This episode covers:

  • 00:54 - Intro: Emerson seeing Chappel Roan and Val’s Texas Trip
  • 03:46 - Tea & Crumpets: The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes and Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story on Netflix
  • 08:11 - Step Into My Office: Navigating family estrangement when wanting to stay close to all members involved
  • 13:36 - The Lore: Shea Wingate’s experiences with grief and learning to befriend the “grief monster”
  • 20:16 - The DSM: AI & Mental Health – Advantages, Dangers, Ethical Considerations, and Future Directions
  • 46:58 - Now That’s What I Call…Ooookay
  • 48:16 - Val’s Pick: “Only Hope” by Mandy Moore
  • 50:34 - Emerson’s Pick: “Be Careful With Yourself” by Julia Jacklin
  • 52:34 - Wait…What: WTF is a kiki?!
  • 54:30 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Cats ‘hired’ to motivate security guards in Philippines and Thailand becomes first Southeastern Asian country to legalize marriage equality!!

Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:


AI Journaling Apps:


Connect with Us:


DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>4fa8d7a3-6674-44ec-9dec-29a09a9dd8daWed, 30 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -050059:50truefull44“What is grief, if not love persevering?” with Kalaway Voss“What is grief, if not love persevering?” with Kalaway VossToday’s guest, The Gaia Center’s very own resident grief-expert Kalaway Voss, shares wisdom and tangible ways that we can move through grief, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a more ambiguous loss such as the ending of a relationship, or anything in between.

About Kalaway Voss

Kalaway Voss is a mental health therapist at The Gaia Center in Nashville, TN. She completed her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Kalaway specializes in working with adults navigating grief and loss, anxiety, depression, complex trauma, and folks who are grappling with existential questions related to life, death, and meaning. She approaches healing from a mind/body/spirit perspective (including certification in Level 1 Reiki) and aims to help her clients feel empowered in their personal wisdom, tell their unique stories, and live bravely. Kalaway spends a lot of her time drying flowers and working with the restorative and healing properties of dried plants, herbs, and flowers.

This episode covers:

  • 03:00 - Tea & Crumpets: How To Die Alone, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and The ex-Files Rewatch Podcast
  • 06:36 - Step Into My Office: Kalaway’s advice on coping with the loss of a best friend
  • 09:43 - The DSM: All Things Grief – What drew Kalaway to want to specialize in grief therapy, healthy grief, cultural and societal influences, and tips for connecting with/processing grief
  • 34:54 - Now That’s What I Call….Okayyyy: You’re Gonna Go Far by Noah Kahan, A Little Bit of Everything by Dawes, and Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
  • 44:37 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Non-traditional Ways to Honor and Ceremonialize Death
  • 50:24 - Rapid Fire Q&A on Kalway’s perspectives of grief


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect / Work with Kalaway:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Today’s guest, The Gaia Center’s very own resident grief-expert Kalaway Voss, shares wisdom and tangible ways that we can move through grief, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a more ambiguous loss such as the ending of a relationship, or anything in between.

About Kalaway Voss

Kalaway Voss is a mental health therapist at The Gaia Center in Nashville, TN. She completed her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Kalaway specializes in working with adults navigating grief and loss, anxiety, depression, complex trauma, and folks who are grappling with existential questions related to life, death, and meaning. She approaches healing from a mind/body/spirit perspective (including certification in Level 1 Reiki) and aims to help her clients feel empowered in their personal wisdom, tell their unique stories, and live bravely. Kalaway spends a lot of her time drying flowers and working with the restorative and healing properties of dried plants, herbs, and flowers.

This episode covers:

  • 03:00 - Tea & Crumpets: How To Die Alone, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and The ex-Files Rewatch Podcast
  • 06:36 - Step Into My Office: Kalaway’s advice on coping with the loss of a best friend
  • 09:43 - The DSM: All Things Grief – What drew Kalaway to want to specialize in grief therapy, healthy grief, cultural and societal influences, and tips for connecting with/processing grief
  • 34:54 - Now That’s What I Call….Okayyyy: You’re Gonna Go Far by Noah Kahan, A Little Bit of Everything by Dawes, and Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
  • 44:37 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Non-traditional Ways to Honor and Ceremonialize Death
  • 50:24 - Rapid Fire Q&A on Kalway’s perspectives of grief


Resources + Stuff  Mentioned in This Episode:



Connect / Work with Kalaway:



Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>7da1500d-732f-4627-8ef4-b2536e1ff790Wed, 16 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -050055:14truefull33TikTok is Not the DSM: Practicing Discernment with Pop PsychologyTikTok is Not the DSM: Practicing Discernment with Pop PsychologyToday’s episode is once again a wild ride – and whether you’re struggling with sexual desire, obsessed with Sabrina Carpenter’s new album, or trying to wade through the wild west of Pop Psychology, we’ve got something for you.

This episode covers:

  • [1:00] Weekend recap – Emerson’s adventures of cat sitting & Val’s piano karaoke bar date night
  • [3:18] Emerson’s Tea & Crumpets for the week – Sabrina Carpenter’s new album Short N Sweet
  • [5:18] Val’s Tea & Crumpets – Hysterical podcast from Dan Taberski
  • [8:00] Step Into My Office – Struggles with sexual desire, desire discrepancy, and tips for how to deal
  • [19:00] The Lore – All of the juicy deets on a first date that happened at a wedding in Mexico
  • [27:24] The DSM - Discernment in the Pop Psychology World – the positive aspects, the dangerous aspects, and how to make sense of it all, especially when you’re struggling
  • [48:50] Emerson’s song for the week: Coincidence by Sabrina Carpenter 
  • [51:08] Val’s song for the week: Passenger Seat by Death Cab for Cutie
  • [54:29] The wholesome squirrel’s best friend Derrick Downey Jr - @derrickdowneyj
  • [55:53] Local Clarksville activist Allie Phillips being featured on @feminist IG account

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:




Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Today’s episode is once again a wild ride – and whether you’re struggling with sexual desire, obsessed with Sabrina Carpenter’s new album, or trying to wade through the wild west of Pop Psychology, we’ve got something for you.

This episode covers:

  • [1:00] Weekend recap – Emerson’s adventures of cat sitting & Val’s piano karaoke bar date night
  • [3:18] Emerson’s Tea & Crumpets for the week – Sabrina Carpenter’s new album Short N Sweet
  • [5:18] Val’s Tea & Crumpets – Hysterical podcast from Dan Taberski
  • [8:00] Step Into My Office – Struggles with sexual desire, desire discrepancy, and tips for how to deal
  • [19:00] The Lore – All of the juicy deets on a first date that happened at a wedding in Mexico
  • [27:24] The DSM - Discernment in the Pop Psychology World – the positive aspects, the dangerous aspects, and how to make sense of it all, especially when you’re struggling
  • [48:50] Emerson’s song for the week: Coincidence by Sabrina Carpenter 
  • [51:08] Val’s song for the week: Passenger Seat by Death Cab for Cutie
  • [54:29] The wholesome squirrel’s best friend Derrick Downey Jr - @derrickdowneyj
  • [55:53] Local Clarksville activist Allie Phillips being featured on @feminist IG account

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:




Connect with Us:



DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>bd59e113-ade6-4a94-a112-67199d1425d2Wed, 02 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -050059:22truefull22Welcome to the Rabbit Hole 🐇🕳️Welcome to the Rabbit Hole 🐇🕳️Welcome to the FIRST EPISODE of But For Real!

In this episode, you get to know both Valerie and Emerson a bit more, as well as getting acquainted with all of the segments of the show – and of course, as the title says, dive into the rabbit hole 🐇

This episode covers:

  • [02:00] Emerson’s experience growing up abroad, her US citizenship journey, what being Gen Z means to her, and her favorite thing about being a therapist
  • [12:30] Val’s podcasting history and why she started But For Real, how The Gaia Center started, what being an elder millennial means to her, and her favorite thing about being a therapist
  • [20:17] Valerie’s Tea & Crumpets for the week - the movie Hitman
  • [23:00] Emerson’s Tea & Crumpets for the week - learning ASL!
  • [26:00] Step Into My Office - How to fight the Sunday Scaries
  • [33:11] The DSM (Dysfunction, Spiraling, & Meltdowns) - The difference between healthy rabbit holes and ruminating + how to keep your rabbit holes healthy
  • [48:15] Now That’s What I Call— OKAYY! - Viva Forever by The Spice Girls and Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl by Chappell Roan
  • [56:00] Wait, What? - What is the current obsession with Demure???
  • [01:00:14] Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Texas teacher’s emergency delivering a baby at school + Dr. Marie Marcelle-Deschamps in Haiti

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:


 

Connect with Us:


 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>Welcome to the FIRST EPISODE of But For Real!

In this episode, you get to know both Valerie and Emerson a bit more, as well as getting acquainted with all of the segments of the show – and of course, as the title says, dive into the rabbit hole 🐇

This episode covers:

  • [02:00] Emerson’s experience growing up abroad, her US citizenship journey, what being Gen Z means to her, and her favorite thing about being a therapist
  • [12:30] Val’s podcasting history and why she started But For Real, how The Gaia Center started, what being an elder millennial means to her, and her favorite thing about being a therapist
  • [20:17] Valerie’s Tea & Crumpets for the week - the movie Hitman
  • [23:00] Emerson’s Tea & Crumpets for the week - learning ASL!
  • [26:00] Step Into My Office - How to fight the Sunday Scaries
  • [33:11] The DSM (Dysfunction, Spiraling, & Meltdowns) - The difference between healthy rabbit holes and ruminating + how to keep your rabbit holes healthy
  • [48:15] Now That’s What I Call— OKAYY! - Viva Forever by The Spice Girls and Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl by Chappell Roan
  • [56:00] Wait, What? - What is the current obsession with Demure???
  • [01:00:14] Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Texas teacher’s emergency delivering a baby at school + Dr. Marie Marcelle-Deschamps in Haiti

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:


 

Connect with Us:


 

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>c220f57b-12a8-4689-a1b9-0febb56f7cc4Thu, 26 Sep 2024 08:43:00 -050001:11:18truefull11Trailer: But For Real - a new podcast from The Gaia CenterTrailer: But For Real - a new podcast from The Gaia CenterIn this trailer, we cover everything you need to know about But For Real ✨

....and stay tuned for the first two episodes dropping 9.25.24 🤩

Connect with Us:


‌

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>In this trailer, we cover everything you need to know about But For Real ✨

....and stay tuned for the first two episodes dropping 9.25.24 🤩

Connect with Us:


‌

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

]]>172835cc-e307-41ba-9ee1-cdb314a60479Wed, 18 Sep 2024 14:45:00 -050001:28truetrailer