Calming the Chaos

Why So Nervous? Calming the Chaotic Nervous System with Carter Doyle (Part II)

Sun, 01 Feb 2026 10:37:00 -0700

“Why So Nervous? Calming the Chaotic Nervous System with Carter Doyle (Part II)

Welcome to Calming the Chaos! Today, we continue the conversation about the chaos of our nervous system. Joining me is someone who can make emotional chaos sound both hilarious and profound — Carter Doyle, a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner who works with people whose chaos is layered: trauma, anxiety, ADHD, spiritual/identity hurt — and I help them calm the nervous system first so everything else is possible.

Learn more about Carter at https://www.leafpsychiatry.com/

#CalmingTheChaos #NervousSystemRegulation #RegulateYourNervousSystem #CalmYourMind #MentalHealthSupport #EmotionalWellbeing #StressReliefTools #HealingJourne #MentalHealthPodcast #WellnessPodcast #TherapyTalk #PsychologyToday #MindBodyConnection #TraumaInformed #ExpertInsights #AnxietyRelief #StressManagement #Overstimulated #BurnoutRecovery #FromChaosToCalm #Overwhelmed #InnerCalm #YouAreNotBroken #HealingIsPossible #FeelSafeAgain #CalmIsLearned #YourBodyKnows #NervousSystemReset

Why So Nervous? Calming the Chaotic Nervous System with Carter Doyle (Part I)

Sun, 01 Feb 2026 10:20:00 -0700

“Why So Nervous? Calming the Chaotic Nervous System with Carter Doyle (Part I)

Welcome to Calming the Chaos!

Today, we’re talking about something we all have experienced, but none of us fully understand: “The nervous system.”

Our nervous system is chaotic, brilliant, annoying, and somehow still thinks we live in the forest being hunted by wolves — even though the only predator we’ve encountered today is a parking ticket.

So today, we’re going to dive into the absurdity and the tenderness of it — the science, the stories, and the moments when our bodies completely betrayed us at the worst possible times.

And joining me is someone who can make emotional chaos sound both hilarious and profound — Carter Doyle, a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner who works with people whose chaos is layered: trauma, anxiety, ADHD, spiritual/identity hurt — and I help them calm the nervous system first so everything else is possible.

So sit back and join us as we explore the beautiful disaster that is… your nervous system

Learn more about Carter at https://www.leafpsychiatry.com/

#CalmingTheChaos

#NervousSystemRegulation

#RegulateYourNervousSystem

#CalmYourMind

#MentalHealthSupport

#EmotionalWellbeing

#StressReliefTools

#HealingJourne

#MentalHealthPodcast

#WellnessPodcast

#TherapyTalk

#PsychologyToday

#MindBodyConnection

#TraumaInformed

#ExpertInsights

#AnxietyRelief

#StressManagement

#Overstimulated

#BurnoutRecovery

#FromChaosToCalm

#Overwhelmed

#InnerCalm

#YouAreNotBroken

#HealingIsPossible

#FeelSafeAgain

#CalmIsLearned

#YourBodyKnows

#NervousSystemReset

How Your Dreams Can Calm Your Chaos with Ara Trembly

Sun, 09 Nov 2025 10:43:00 -0700

Your Dreams Have a Message!

How your Dreams Can Calm Your Chaos | Dream Expert Ara Trembly Explains

Timestamps & Topics

00:00 – Introduction: Chaos in the world and finding peace in sleep

Host opens with reflections on Halloween 2025, government shutdowns, and everyday stress — setting the stage for how dreams can offer calm amidst chaos.

01:43 – What do dreams mean?

Dreams as chaos, confusion, and mystery — why they often make less sense than waking life.

02:21 – Meet Ara Trembly, Licensed Professional Counselor & Hypnotherapist

Guest introduction: Ara Tremblay, psychotherapist and author of Dreaming God’s Way, joins to explain how dreams can reveal guidance and healing.

03:19 – Why do we dream?

Ara explains the science and psychology of dreaming — how our brains process sensory overload and solve problems while we sleep.

05:08 – Dreams as problem solvers

Famous example: Golfer Jack Nicklaus discovered a swing correction in his dream — showing how our subconscious helps us improve in waking life.

06:37 – “I don’t dream!” – Why everyone actually does

Discussion about people who believe they don’t dream, how to improve dream recall, and using self-suggestion to remember dreams.

08:23 – Learning from your dreams

How to interpret dreams symbolically and relate them to situations in your daily life.

09:13 – Lucid dreaming and self-discovery

Ara shares a lucid dream experience that helped him overcome writer’s block while working on his book.

11:45 – Are nightmares useful?

How nightmares reveal hidden fears, unresolved stress, and opportunities for personal growth.

13:30 – Dream analysis example: The kitten in the freezer

Live interpretation of a listener’s disturbing dream — exploring symbolism, inner child themes, and vulnerability.

16:22 – The house and scaffolding dream

Symbolism of homes as representations of the mind and feeling “stuck” or disconnected from others.

18:19 – The flying dream

Flying as a symbol of freedom and joy — how uplifting dreams remind us to enjoy life and embrace our personal power.

20:38 – Turning chaos into clarity

How understanding dream symbolism can help us find calm and meaning in chaotic times.

21:08 – About Ara Tremblay’s book: Dreaming God’s Way

Exploring how to interpret dreams spiritually and practically — with insights that connect psychology and faith.

22:45 – Why dream symbols are personal

Ara explains why dream dictionaries are misleading — your dream symbols are unique to your life and experience.

23:14 – Driving backwards: Lessons from the subconscious

Dream analysis of moving backward vs. forward in life — learning to focus on the future, not the past.

25:39 – Final thoughts: Learning from the unconscious

Using dreams as tools to calm daily chaos, gain perspective, and reconnect with peace.

26:08 – Closing & Thanks

Wrapping up with gratitude and a reminder: even nightmares can bring wisdom.

________________________________________

Guest Information

Ara Trembly – Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Hypnotherapist, and Author

Book: “Dreaming God’s Way” watch at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgEk9SFEeSQ

Website: 10-10-hypnosis.com

________________________________________

Key Takeaways

• Dreams process emotional overload from daily life.

• Everyone dreams — remembering them just takes intention.

• Nightmares often reveal fears and growth opportunities.

• Symbols are personal — meaning depends on you, not a dream dictionary.

• Your dreams can calm your chaos and help you make sense of life’s challenges.

________________________________________

#dream interpretation #why we dream #nightmares meaning #psychology of dreams, #how to remember dreams #dream meanings

From Chaos to Clarity| With Ethan Reisboard

Sun, 26 Oct 2025 16:29:00 -0700

“From Chaos to Clarity – Managing ADHD Effectively” with Ethan Reisboard

Ethan Reisboard has struggled with ADHD (combined type) since childhood. He’s also had debilitating migraines and eye dysfunction as a result of post-concussion syndrome. After years of working with countless professionals and trying various treatment methods without success, he reached out to his Hypnotherapist. Fortunately, Ethan found that through doing Hypnotherapy, he was able to quiet his mind and finally begin the process of recovery.

Currently, Ethan lives in Costa Rica and is a Certified Hypnotherapist with specialties in ADHD and Anxiety. He now devotes his private practice to doing hypnotherapy as a healing method for a variety of mental health concerns.

In this episode, Ethan tells us his story, and how he uses hypnotherapy to help people heal from a variety of different mental health struggles, including ADHD and Anxiety.

Visit Ethan on his website at www.ethanreishypnotherapy.com. He works with people all over the world!

#mentalhealth #attentiondeficithyperactivitydisorder #ADHD

Betrayal in Relationships - Is Forgiveness Possible? Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Sun, 21 Sep 2025 21:49:00 -0700

“Betrayal in Relationships – Is Forgiveness Possible?” – with Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a Licensed Psychologist in Vermont who has been working with couples for over 30 years. In this podcast, he offers his insights about the topic of betrayal in relationships. Dr. Chalmer explains what betrayal is, why people betray each other, and how to rebuild trust after a betrayal has occurred. Through his teaching, consulting, and books, his ideas have helped thousands of couples and their therapists. Together with his wife Judy Alexander, Dr. Chalmer hosts the podcast “Couples Therapy in Seven Words.”

Dr. Chalmer’s book entitled “Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again,” helps us to understand why betrayal happens in relationships, and how to rebuild trust so that the wounds of betrayal can be healed.

Show Notes:

A substantial number of couples come to Bruce because major relationship betrayals have occurred

Therapy is not a cookie cutter approach to healing relationships

Dr. Bruce defines betrayal as:

1. Something big

2. The expectations you have in a certain relationship (i.e., spouses, family, co-workers)

3. Lies happen

4. Mistrust results

Dr. Bruce’s Structure for Couples Therapy

1. First session: Understand why a couple wants to be together, and 2 sets of needs that need to be met

a. Stability (Knowing how to keep the relationship stable, not pushing buttons)

b. Intimacy (Being open and honest with the ability to tolerate anxiety rather than avoid it)

2. Lightbulbs will go off in the couple’s minds and they will see where intimacy and stability are compromised

3. Treatment goals are made, part of which is to increase both stability and intimacy

4. How will you know therapy is helping?

Why do people betray each other? If intimacy is compromised, then people are more likely to betray each other

The “Oh Shit” moment is when a person realizes that they have contributed to problems in the relationship

Financial Betrayal examples: “I trusted you with something, and this trust that I gave you was not honored.”

(Social Expectations, and types of Family betrayals)

What do we do if we are the Betrayed or the Betrayer? Forgiveness

1. Forgive yourself

2. Forgive the betrayer

3. Forgive God (or, understand that betrayals do indeed happen)

If you’re in a situation where you are still being hurt, it may not be safe for you to stay in the relationship

If it’s a case of infidelity, they both need to restore / rebuild trust

If a betrayal happens, the relationship as you knew it is not the same…and you can build a new and sometimes better relationship

Website: https://brucechalmer.com

Books:

Dr. Chalmer’s book “Betrayal and Forgiveness” https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/

Dr. Chalmer’s book “It’s not about Communication – Why Everything you know about Couples Therapy is Wrong” https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-About-Communication-Everything/dp/1667871935

Podcast:

Dr. Chalmer’s Podcast with his wife Judy Alexander called “Couples Therapy in Seven Words” https://couplestherapyinsevenwords.com/

The seven words are: Be Kind, Don’t Panic, And Have Faith

Social Media:

YouTube: @brucechalmer

#mentalhealth #betrayal #forgiveness

What can I do with my Life? - Justin Shaw is the Sourcerer

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 20:56:00 -0700

“What do I want to do with my life?” – Sourcery 101 with Justin Shaw

Author Justin Shaw describes himself as “A little bit Deepak and a little bit Tupac.” Justin is a former stand-up comedian with an inspiring story of overcoming trauma, emotional / mental issues and heavy drug addiction using a system he developed called Sourcery, which uses source energy to heal trauma and manifest a thriving new life. Now, he teaches these concepts to others using his book “Sourcery 101: 13 Rungs to a Higher Elevation of Consciousness.”

Timestamps:

5:00: Justin tells his story

11:55 Sedona and the development of Sourcery

“It all, like a beautiful mind, came to me in pieces.” “It’s all for a purpose and has meaning.”

13:05: Tracy chimes in about family of origin and Sedona

14:05: In Sedona, Justin asks the vortexes in Sedona, “What do I do with my life?”

16:10 Justin’s “Dumpster Fire” and explaining “The Shadow was driving my car.” Using mind, body and spirit to heal

18:29: “What made the body heals the body.” Trauma and Calming the Chaos

19:18: Western Medicine vs. Eastern Medicine (discussion with Justin and Tracy)

“You do want therapy…with the right therapist.”

“The easiest way to give away your power is by thinking you don’t have any.”

23:28: The Sourcery method and how Justin reconciled his new found spirituality with Christianity at the point where he lost his mother

“Fear is the number one way to control people”

“I had this true religious experience when I dropped my religion.”

29:00: “I’m not even confident of MY salvation!” Christianity and stepping outside of it into a whole new world

30:33: Tracy explains the difference between rigidity and flexibility, and the advantages of gaining psychological flexibility in mental health

31:27: Justin goes more into what Sourcery is

“Spirituality unites….religion divides. Spirituality is found…religion is taught.”

“When you replace panic with love, you find bliss.”

33:35: Justin’s near life experience. “If more people had them, we’d have less chaos.”

34:34: Tracy: Is love, joy and bliss the medicine we need? The answer to calm the chaos?

35:19: Justin: “Attack the situation with love, and peace will follow.”

37:09: Justin “I’m trying to make this the last time.” Tracy “Oh my gosh, that’s what I’ve been saying for years!”

38:33 The 13 Rungs of Sourcery as compared to the 12 steps of AA

“A bird has a better perspective of things than a worm.”

40:35: Tracy introduces Justin’s book: “Sourcery 101 13 Rungs 13 Rungs to a Higher Elevation of Consciousness.”

42:39: Will Justin become a Shaman? Will Tracy become a Shaman or an Astrologer? Stay tuned!

44:24: The fool and Tracy – “You can learn from your shadows.”

46:02: Justin: The first rung is the shadow. “Healing trauma should be fun, too.” References to M&M, (Marshall Mathers, the rapper)

Social Media Links:

Website: www.awakenthesourcerer.com You can get a free session with Justin!

Instagram: @sourcerer_13 A free follow in Instagram!

#mentalhealth #addiction #spirituality #healing #mindbody

Life with a Thousand Paper Cuts - Interview with Cole Grace

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 12:54:00 -0700

Life with A Thousand Paper Cuts – What PTSD Feels Like with Cole Grace

June was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) awareness month. And yes, even though it is now July, I am airing this interview with Cole Grace, who shares his story about what it feels like to have PTSD, and to recover and experience calm despite having a life going through chaos.

Bio:

Cole Grace had a difficult early childhood. His parents divorced when he was four years old. And although he was never physically or sexually abused, and never lost anyone tragically, he didn't think he had childhood trauma.

Cole joined the Army National Guard and went to Iraq as a combat engineer responsible for IED route clearance and convoy security in 2005. He was attached to multiple units and low ranking because he got in trouble for smoking weed. So he got the worst of the worst jobs. Through this, Cole repressed his emotions in the moment, but later realized he had trauma from his childhood and his combat experience.

Cole went back to school and ended up getting a high paying job for the government in 2012. He thought that meant that he was healed from the stomach episodes he suffered from while in Iraq, some of which led him to go to the emergency room after returning to the United States in 2006. When he worked for the government in 2012, it was in the midst of the opioid crisis. So that meant when he went to the hospital, many times they wouldn't give him pain medicine anymore. So he self medicated and eventually became addicted to opiates in 2015.

Cole went to rehab in 2017 and learned about childhood trauma, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and started reading self-help books and books about trauma. He started trying different healing modalities and eventually putting together the outline for the book Internal to External - Calming the Chaos Within.

“Your external world can change in an instant, but you can’t take away the internal things.”

Timestamps

7:30 Cole tells his story

10:00 The Army / Combat Experience

14:00 Radiation Exposure in Iraq

16:20 “I just checked off this whole checklist and I still don’t feel good.”

19:10 “Unlearn your Pain and Depression” book by Howard Schubiner at https://unlearnyourpain.com/unlearn-your-pain-book/

21:47 “The Body Keeps the Score” and “7 Habits for Highly Successful People” and other self-help books helped him connect to the subconscious

23:30 What Cole does to monitor his subconscious mind

1. Awareness and Acceptance of Unhelpful Beliefs

2. Reframing these beliefs into truthful / helpful ones

3. Embracing more positivity

4. Breathwork, affirmations and gratitude practices, personal mission statement

27:00 Tracy says to focus on what’s both truthful and helpful when reframing beliefs and doing affirmations

Cole agrees…and adds, “What you say has to have the possibility of being truthful”

28:33 Tracy’s way of approaching Trauma with clients, and the benefits of addressing trauma that can benefit you in the long run

29:36 Why should we even address trauma, anyway?

31:32: “Between the stimulus and the response is a choice”

Cole tells how he’s done the work, and yet still has some challenges, he deals with them

“Heal Your Body” book by Louise Hay https://www.amazon.com/Heal-Your-Body-Louise-Hay/dp/9394613846

In his life, Cole had to push through a lot of fear, justifications, and excuses to publish this book. But he did it. He believes that the book is inspiring and that it gives practical ways and “tactics” to improve your quality of life without the expectation of perfection.

“I do not have it all figured out, and I don't pretend to. So I believe that makes me more relatable than some other people that write on the subject of mental health and PTSD.”

39:40 Cole’s Book https://www.amazon.com/Internal-External-Calming-Chaos-Within/dp/B0DZCXMVKY

“A mix of my story combined with helpful tactics and behaviors”

42:30 “It’s more powerful for me to be vulnerable and honest, and tell people I still struggle, than it is for me to say I’ve got it all figured out.”

43:57: A dialectical perspective of Acceptance

“You’re not alone”

Social Media Links:

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@cgrace21

Instagram: cgrace2180_

Cole’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/Internal-External-Calming-Chaos-Within/dp/B0DZCXMVKY

#mentalhealth #PTSD #Recovery

Do you want to learn about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from a person who has actually struggled with it and is living his life after recovery? If so, then you can listen and learn from Cole Grace, who has written a book called “Internal >External – Calming the Chaos Within. In this interview, Cole tells us his story of having PTSD and recovery, plus the process of writing a book to help others who struggle with similar conditions.

When Life Turns to Chaos - With Amy Vincze

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 06:25:00 -0700

Amy Vincze is our guest today on Calming the Chaos. She is an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) coach and she and I really agree that Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT or "Tapping") helps people process emotions that could be causing emotional distress or chaos.

In this podcast, Amy uses EFT on me to help me process my emotions of fear and sadness at what is going on with the Los Angeles Riots / Protests.

I hope you stay till the end, where you will learn new skills to manage your emotions in these chaotic times.

Amy's website is www.soarwithtapping.com You can download Amy's apo called "Soar With Tapping" on iTunes, Apple and Android apps.

Here are some videos Amy has that can teach you more in depth about how Emotional Freedom Technique / Tapping works https://soarwithtapping.com/eft-tappi...

Take care!

Understanding Bipolar Disorder with Tyler Kania

Thu, 29 May 2025 14:57:00 -0700

In this episode of Calming the Chaos, we’re still in the month of May, 2025, and so I am continuing to discuss the topic of Mental Health during Mental Health Awareness month.

Today, I am going to talk with Tyler Kania, who is going to tell his own story about his struggle with a variety of physical and mental health conditions, including undiagnosed Bipolar disorder, suicidality, impulsivity, and two rare rugby injuries that led to many major life changes. He also describes how he was able to heal with a combination of inpatient and outpatient treatment, medication and community.

Tyler has written a book called “The Maniac with No Knees,” which gives you a more in-depth look at his life, his struggles, and how he was able to find treatment for his serious physical and mental health conditions.

You can purchase Tyler’s Book “The Maniac with No Knees” through Tyler’s website at

www.tylerkania.com

Or, on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DRTPD168/?bestFormat=true&k=the%20maniac%20with%20no%20knees&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-pd-bk-d_de_k0_1_16&crid=2OSHPPQAGJVA6&sprefix=the%20maniac%20with%20

Visit Tyler on Instagram and read his one page stories, which you can read in 10-15 minutes every day at

@tyler_kania

Let’s keep mental health awareness going strong, and well beyond the month of May, and continue to take awareness into action!

#mentalhealth #bipolardisorder #anxiety #depression

May is Mental Health Awareness Month

Mon, 26 May 2025 19:50:00 -0700

May of 2025 is Mental Health Awareness Month!

In this video, I talk about May of 2025 being Mental Health Awareness Month, and offer you some information about Mental Health Conditions, as well as a story about my own recent struggles with chaos, and resources for help.

1. Mental Health Awareness is simply being aware of a variety of mental health conditions that can affect your major life domains

a. Physical Health

b. Mental / Emotional Health

c. Relationships

d. Work / School

2. Major Mental Health Conditions include (but aren’t limited to)

a. Anxiety

b. Depression

c. Post Traumatic Stress

d. Eating Disorders

3. In 2025, Mental Health Awareness Month takes “Awareness into Action.”

a. Resources for help include:

i. National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) https://www.nami.org/

ii. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) https://www.samhsa.gov/

iii. National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

iv. Calming the Chaos Podcast https://www.youtube.com/@CalmingTheChaos

4. Tracy talks about how April “kicked her ass” and how she got through it

5. Two Breathing Methods

6. Self-Soothing with the 5 Senses

7. Tracy’s SMART Method of coping

a. S = Stay Present and move slowly

b. M = Manage Emotions (breathe)

c. A = Assess and Approach each situation individually.

d. R = Resources for help

e. T = Time for Self-Care

The Chaos of Chronic Pain

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 13:36:00 -0700

Calming the Chaos Podcast Guest:

Jeff Patterson

The Yielding Warrior

Jeff Patterson helps people build an evolving life practice using the meditative arts to help with a variety of chaotic life issues. In this podcast interview, we talk about specifically about managing the chaos of having chronic pain in your life.

Our Podcast includes the following:

Incorporating the Meditative Arts can help:

• Stress

• Physical and emotional pain

• Relationship issues

Approaches:

1. Athletic Approach

2. Therapeutic Approach

3. Medical 0 Chinese Medicine Approach

4. Philosophical and Virtues Approach

5. Spiritual Approach

Meditation is meant to be a way of life as a Preventative / Resilience approach

Timestamp 7:07 – Clip #1. From the short movie “Struggling to be me with Chronic Pain” You can see the full video at • 'Struggling to be me with chronic pain'

(About 10 minutes long)

Jeff’s tips about her mindset, and that negative thoughts can prevent people from moving forward through chronic pain

Tips:

1. Build a life practice around the meditative arts

2. Tune into your body – understand it, notice it and learn to regulate the body when it is out of balance

3. Regulate your breath, using yoga practices and to adjust your physiology

4. Regulate your mind. “I can’t quiet my mind.” These practices help you gain focus from distractions

15:25 Story about the monks, girl and the puddle

16:58: How to regulate and circulate your energy

19:36: Understand range of motion – don’t worsen your body, do positive movement consistently and daily

20:50 3 Things to think about

1. What do I want to get from the practice? What is my goal? Why do I want to get better? Motivators. Mindset shift from “something I have to do” to “something I want to do to get the most out of life

2. What benefits can I reap from doing the practices consistently

3. Find a guide to help you navigate the chaos

24:57: The Academy Information. In person, online, website, links and to his book “The Yielding Warrior

26:40: Free digital copy or printed copy of book

Jeff has been practicing martial arts for the past 36 years and he has learned from highly skilled masters from seven countries. I’ve achieved black belt equivalency in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Eskrima, Muay Thai, Kenpō, Tai Chi, and Qigong.

Jeff firmly believes in the meditative arts and their power to enhance overall life experiences. This has led Jeff to study the historical, philosophical, and health aspects of meditative arts. His mission is to share his knowledge with you after witnessing the positive and profound impact he has seen in thousands of his students.

Having authored three books, created two audio courses, and produced hundreds of videos on Tai Chi and Qigong, Jeff believes he can help you achieve your goals.

Jeff is on a mission to guide individuals like you to optimize your performance, heighten sensitivity and awareness, and find a calm sense of groundedness. He believes you can become a finely tuned warrior who reaches top performance in all areas of your life.

Contact Jeff at: https://www.theyieldingwarrior.com/

Free Book url https://www.theyieldingwarrior.com/book

FB / taichiyielding

IG / theyieldingwarrior

YT / @theyieldingwarrior

#chronicpain #painmanagement #anxietydepressionandrelationships

Are you Stuck in Your Life? Here's some Help with Lindsey Carnick

Sun, 16 Feb 2025 13:55:00 -0700

Calming the Chaos Podcast Guest:

Lindsey Carnick, LCSW, MSW, MA

Onward Psychological Services

Lindsey works with people who are sick of settling for less than they deserve from life.

People who are “Stuck”

In this interview, we talk about the different ways people can feel “Stuck” in their lives, especially around this time of year…February…after our New Years Resolutions have either failed or fallen flat and we’re feeling discouraged and even hopeless.

Lindsey and I are two Licensed Mental Health Counselors who talk about ways for you to get unstuck and experience joy and peace in your life. You’ll want to tune in if you’re feeling stuck with any of these issues:

Projects and Social Media

Living Independently from Parents

Finding Love and Relationships

Career, jobs, finance

Chronic Pain

Contact Lindsey at: https://www.onwardpsychservices.com/

#stuckinlife #findingfreedom #anxietyanddepression

Chaos and Crisis - Welcome to 2025

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 16:46:00 -0700

This is a Catch up on the Chaos that has happened in the first month of 2025, and also a flashback to one of my first podcasts in 2020 that gives some tips about how to handle chaos that are still true today.

Catch up on Trump's Executive Orders (to date) Here: https://www.federalregister.gov/presidential-documents/executive-orders/donald-trump/2025

Check out Captain Steeeve, who does a great job explaining some reasons for plane crashes: https://www.youtube.com/@UCx8Thl4BbkOwslTGXzPJx0A

Here is the full version of my 2020 podcast "New Years Fears" on iTunes / Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/new-years-fears/id1489271578?i=1000461632275

My Favorite Astrologers:

Rosie Finn

https://www.rosiefinn.com/

Joe Theodore

https://www.youtube.com/@joetheodoreastro

Rik

https://www.youtube.com/@rikastrology/featured

Cam White

https://www.youtube.com/@camwhiteastro

Ho’oponopono Practice - Listen to me teach it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuoWcyOHafQ&t=91s

Radical Acceptance – Marsha Linehan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTG7YEWkJFI&list=PL_L7KEOxOeQ_gwUQX8ExtaIt3jSm8XYbK

#trump #california #drone

Could My Child Commit a Crime? Interview with Dr. Robert Saul

Sun, 08 Dec 2024 21:58:00 -0700

Dr. Robert Saul is a Medical Doctor / Pediatrician, Author and Speaker. He has been guiding the physical, behavioral and mental care of children for over 44 years. His area of expertise is in parenting, specifically in providing help for parents in raising their children to be good citizens, after the Columbine High School Shooting in 1999.

Dr. Saul wants to improve our communities, and advocate for our children. Dr. Saul is the author of many books on children and parenting, including “My Children’s Children: Raising Young Citizens in the Age of Columbine,” and “Conscious Parenting.”

Dr. Saul was a guest on Calming the Chaos podcast before the Oxford High School shooting in November of 2021, and after the shooting on 12/6/2021. This shooting convicted Ethan Crumbley (age 15) shooting students and others at Oxford High School. It also convicted his parents James and Jennifer Crumbley of involuntary manslaughter in 2024.

Here is a link to our discussion in 2021:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rZ6aoiJ6eI&t=42s

In this most recent podcast episode, recorded in September of 2024, Dr. Saul is back to discuss what parents can do to prevent their children from being a part in mass / school shootings. This comes now that James and Jennifer Crumbley were both tried and convicted separately on 4 counts of involuntary manslaughter after their son did a mass shooting at Oxford High School in November of2021.

As usual, Dr. Saul offers his wisdom about parenting to our audience, and how we can all be better citizens.

**Could my child do that Article Link: https://mychildrenschildren.com/could-my-child-do-that/ **

Contact Dr. Saul:

Website: www.mychildrenschildren.com

Links to books and other written materials

https://mychildrenschildren.com/book/my-childrens-children/

https://mychildrenschildren.com/book/all-about-children/

https://mychildrenschildren.com/book/thinking-developmentally-nurturing-wellness-in-childhood-to-promote-lifelong-health/

https://mychildrenschildren.com/book/conscious-parenting-using-the-parental-awareness-threshold/

A Great Interview with Dr. Saul is here: https://www.wyff4.com/article/pediatric-doctor-talks-about-importance-of-parenting-environment-on-child-health/27141728

c. Social Media Links

a. Facebook – / mychildrenschildren; / allaboutchildren2017; / consciousparentingpat

b. Twitter – www.twitter.com/@saul1robert

c. LinkedIn – www.linkedin.com/in/robertasaul

d. Instagram – www.instagram.com/rsaul

e. YouTube – / robertsaulmd

#crime #children #school

Calm Holiday Chaos!

Wed, 27 Nov 2024 22:38:00 -0700

Are you a person who struggles with food, eating and / or body image and finds yourself anxious, nervous or stressed out about the upcoming Thanksgiving or Christmas Holidays?

In this episode, I review podcast episodes from 2020, 2021, 2022 and 2023 where I have conversations with experts who help you calm your Holiday chaos. With us we have:

2020: Stacy Schilter-Pisano, M.A., LMFT, Site Manager of The Emily Program in Olympia, Washington

2021: Tracy does Mindful Eating (Solo Episode)

2022: Dr. Anita Johnston, one of the founding mothers of Eating Disorders Treatment programs, most notably Ai Pono in Hawaii. She is also the author of the internationally acclaimed book “Eating in the Light of the Moon.” Anita helps us understand the connection between chaos and disordered eating behaviors.

2023: Nicole Christina, LCSW, specializes in working with people who struggle with food, eating and body image. Last year, she offered her insights about how we can get through the holidays with her tips and tools.

Original Podcast Episode Links:

Stacy Schilter-Pisano https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ht-Z0lW79W8

Tracy’s Mindful Eating https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqjBQVwVFL4

Dr. Anita Johnston https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxQIL4DzGF4

Nicole Christina https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwPUG_XU90A

I hope this helps! Take care, and Happy Holidays, Everyone!

#thanksgiving #mentalhealthawareness #eatingdisorders

Chaos in America with Phyllis Leavitt

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 01:09:00 -0700

Nervous about today’s Election? We help you calm your chaos about the election with Licensed Mental Health Therapist and Author Phyllis Leavitt. She discusses the Psychology and Mental Health of America on the eve of the 2024 Election.

Phyllis seeks to understand America, the system we are in, and how the psychology of America can be viewed from a Family Systems perspective. The problems of America are discussed, as well as possible solutions we can employ within ourselves to help heal from violence and divisiveness.

Phyllis Leavitt has a Masters’ Degree in Psychology and Counseling from Antioch University. She co-directed the Parents United sexual abuse treatment program in Santa Fe, New Mexico for two years and then went into private practice full time. Phyllis has treated children, families, couples, and individual adults for 34 years, and has worked extensively with abuse and dysfunctional family dynamics, their aftermath, and some of the most important elements for healing.

She has two previous books, A Light in the Darkness and Into the Fire. Her latest book, America in Therapy: A New Approach to Hope and Healing for a Nation in Crisis, published by Morgan James Publishing, explores the roots of divisiveness and violence in America from a psychological point of view, with the goal of bringing the best of what heals relationships and restores us to safety, into national conversation. Phyllis lives with her husband in Taos, NM and is now focusing on writing and speaking.

Check out Phyllis and her work here at www.phyllisleavitt.com

Social Media Links:

https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.leavitt

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOdxqvDK9N421AZ5TTxqUgQ

https://www.linkedin.com/in/phyllis-leavitt-630179255/

https://www.instagram.com/phyllis_e_leavitt/

https://twitter.com/PhyllisLeavitt2

https://substack.com/@phyllisleavitt1

Book on Amazon — “America in Therapy: A New Approach to Hope and Healing for a Nation in Crisis”

https://www.amazon.com/America-Therapy-Approach-Healing-Nation/dp/1636983367/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3RCWW36ZSEJ9E&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.WXEdnJ4geI_MPm1EEMrBnP-XltHP_DsjMBTBJ8VPCGTA798JEUcAXS74aDqim0XEORa9eIEpWk0kZ983Dj-G2y4kP-HsxgZGTS1dX7HKHchvuPwwypEXQnC99ajC27Pwk58mtlL4tVzy35LQvDAdOAPBy7_bilbpzgIRSIVroYzGqKqc7HFfD8v2fbS-WVkF7ZLnKxuA5e2LuY8hpnvCoKFU7rCileAa3Alx7EM0nAE.nBwOi9JzmB6C05on3_MnYI_x0ZUpRx_VwLFlzze_c7w&dib_tag=se&keywords=america+in+therapy&qid=1715267841&sprefix=America+in+Therapy%2Caps%2C169&sr=8-1

On Barnes and Noble

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/america-in-therapy-phyllis-e-leavitt-ma/1144110754;jsessionid=50ED3B222E94FE08658574C1D7FE5161.prodny_store01-atgap01?ean=9781636983363

Free PDF — The Six Secrets to Repairing Relationships After Conflict

https://phyllisleavitt.com/wp-content/uploads/The-6-Secrets-To-Repairing-Relationships_-How-to-Reconnect-After-Conflict.pdf

Ask Me to Speak at your conference or other event

https://phyllisleavitt.com/phyllis-leavitt-speaker/

#election #trump #kamalaharris

What Should We Do? Part 2 of Politics 2024 with Ramsey Zimmerman

Tue, 22 Oct 2024 21:11:00 -0700

What Should We Do? Political Chaos in The USA |Interview with Ramsey Zimmerman

I. Intro to the topic: Political issues that are causing Americans chaos … and what we might be able to do about that within ourselves and others.

II. Intro to Ramsey: To help us sort this out, we have Ramsey Zimmerman, host of the Podcast “What’s Worthwhile,” to talk about the topics on our minds as Americans as we go into the upcoming Presidential Election in November, 2024.

Today, we will be talking about the issues that most Americans feel are worthwhile to consider politically as we prepare to vote.

Ramsey and I have been friends for over a decade, and so our talk today with be civil…and…at sometimes we may agree or disagree on where we stand on these issues. It should be fun and maybe get a bit chaotic, so hang on, and let’s welcome Ramsey to Calming the Chaos Podcast.

III. Ramsey is on screen and introduces himself to Calming the Chaos Podcast audience

IV. Political Issues to Discuss That are Contributing to the Chaos – What are they? Why are they agents of Chaos? Why are they divisive and upsetting? How can we Calm the Chaos within ourselves related to these issues? How can we work within communities to Calm the Chaos?

• War / Foreign Policy (money, safety and relationships)

• Foreign Wars: Necessity – Cost – Escalation – Right & Wrong – Good vs Evil

• Homeland: Terrorism – Unrest – Domestic Needs – Attacks on U.S.

• Healthcare (wellbeing)

• Conventional: Costs – Availability – Specialized – Manage Symptoms

• Holistic Health: Root Causes – Body as a Whole – Cures – Beyond pharma and surgery

V. Recap: Some things to keep in mind:

1. Think things through

2. Seek different perspectives

3. Vary your social media consumption

4. Be genuinely curious with other people

5. Be sympathetic and empathetic

6. Try to validate others

7. Be open-minded

8. Consider you may be wrong

9. Have tough conversations

10. Honor and thank others for their conversations

11. Find your voice

12. Hear what others have to say

13. Connect with each other more

14. Manage your emotions while you are doing all of this!

Ramsey’s Bio: Ramsey is a husband and a father to two college-aged kids. Ramsey worked in the Sustainable Energy space for nearly 30 years, but recently has pivoted towards Health and Wellness. He has been asking “What’s Worthwhile?” in his podcast most of this year, and has decided that his answer is … Building Mind, Body and Spirit Wellness. He is now a full time student, studying Holistic Health and Nutritional Therapy.

Website: www.whatsworthwhile.net

Social Media Links:The What’s Worthwhile podcast is found on iTunes, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon and iHeart Radio.

What Should We Do? Politics 2024 with Ramsey Zimmerman

Sun, 20 Oct 2024 16:56:00 -0700

I. Intro to the topic: Political issues that are causing Americans chaos … and what we might be able to do about that within ourselves and others.

Today, we will be talking about the issues that most Americans feel are worthwhile to consider politically as we prepare to vote.

III. Ramsey is on screen and introduces himself to Calming the Chaos Podcast audience

I. The Economy (our money)

• Purchasing Power: Inflation – Wages – Savings – Credit – Interest Rates

• Business: Jobs – Ownership – Main Street vs Wall Street – Buying Online

II. The Border / Immigration (safety)

• Border: Crossings – Cartels – Drugs – Human Trafficking - Assistance/Enabling

• Immigration: Culture Clashes – Crime – Entitlements – Displacement (wages, jobs)

Visit Ramsey's podcast at www.whatsworthwhile.net or on iTunes, Apple, Spotify, Amazon and other podcasting websites.

Stay Tuned for Part II

#election #politics #trump #kamalaharris

Avoiding Romantic Relationships

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 19:19:00 -0700

Why Are Young People Avoiding Committed Romantic Relationships? – Interview with Jack Kammer

Intro: According to a report from the Pew Research Center, a random sampling of nearly 5,000 adults in the U.S., showed that 50 percent of single people are not interested in committed romantic relationships, and are not even interested in dating. Another 10 percent want nothing more than casual dates. This trend has been true for at least the past 15 Years

Here to help us understand this trend is Jack Kammer, who has a passion of helping people see and understand the connection between gender issues and some of America’s social problems. Jack has talked about issues between the sexes on radio, publications, podcasts and in person. He’s even appeared before both houses in Congress! His book called “Good Will Toward Men attempts to help us understand the breakdown is between men and women, and what to bring a balance of power between the sexes. Today, we hope to have an honest conversation about why young people are avoiding committed romantic relationships, and to help them feel more comfortable and safe about pursuing committed, romantic relationships in the future.

I. This is the chaos: Half of single people don’t want a relationship, or even to date!

Jack

• It’s not necessarily that men and women don’t want to be in relationship. Men and women don’t want to be in a certain KIND of relationship

• What does commitment by a man to a woman look like? What does commitment by a woman to a man look like?

• Equality in a relationship as an example: “Who should pay for the first date?”

• Many men DO want an equal relationship…and…what does that look like and what are the expectations?

II. Tracy

• Most of the people who present themselves for psychotherapy are dissatisfied with their relationships

III. Jack – A Message to the Pew People (Researchers)

• “They are not capturing what is on men’s minds”

• Timestamp 7:37 Jack’s mission: To try and articulate in a friendly way the male perspective, and to try and help people understand the male perspective.

• INCELs (Involuntary Celibate) and MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) are commonly associated with anger, which is a secondary emotion. “There’s probably something they felt before they felt angry.”

• Call to action: For men to put into words what they feel and discuss it in a friendly way, to women who are wiling to discuss it in a friendly way.

Timestamp 9:45: “It makes perfect sense why men don’t want relationship because the idea of a relationship has been so distorted. Men don’t want the trouble with a “relationship,” and would rather have the freedom to not be in a relationship. However….most men want to be loved, valued and appreciated. So they DO want relationships!

• Tracy: “What questions should the Pew Center have asked on the survey?”

• Jack: “Would you like to have a happy, committed relationship with a woman who loves you?”

The social media algorithm: When they want men to click, they show horrible visions of women. When they want women to click, they show horrible visions of men.

• Tracy: What about a relationship that is physically and emotionally and “Safe

• Jack: Better to say to be in a relationship where you feel appreciated and understood.

www.noreallyiinsist.com: Jack’s Dating App Questions, concerning work-life balance

Men want more!

INCELs – 18:24 “Involuntarily Celibate” (See Elliot Rodger) He killed 6 people, 2 women and 4 men in Isla Vista California on 5/23/14. “I don’t think he does a good job of representing men who want to get laid.”

Video: Dramatization on INCELs (See full video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NJois4JMGU&t=5s

• Jack: “I’m not sure Elliot Rodger is the best example of an INCEL.” “He was a sick, sick person.”

• Tracy: “What do you think the couple could have done differently?”

Things get a bit chaotic / tense here

MGTOW – “Men Going Their Own Way” are men who are not threatening. “I’m not feeling that there’s much success finding a woman, so I’ll look for happiness in my own way.” This could mean they don’t want any relationship. “However, they would love to be loved by a woman who loves them.”

“I am not going to be marched down the aisle anytime soon”

“They stand for justice, integrity and not settling for a relationship that drives me crazy for the rest of my life.”

Jack: Instead of looking at men under the microscope, try to have some empathy and consider what men are seeing, feeling and experiencing. What are they feeling when they try and express what they are feeling. “We are very uncomfortable and afraid to dare suggest that women are perfect.”

Tracy: What is the blue pill, red pill, black pill?

Jack:

Blue Pill – Take the blue pill and things will be just fine, go with the flow

Red Pill – Take the red pill and you’ll see the reality

Black Pill – Only 2 options: either accept it or change

Solutions:

A New Pill - Purple Pill – What might that look like?

Jordan Peterson Clip at https://www.youtube.com/shorts/_ZbXfEGfy7c

Men are lonesome and people pile abuse upon them. “People are dying for lack of an encouraging word.” Give credit where credit is due. Smile. Acknowledge them. Be a net force for good. “You can be a net force for good if you want to be.” ~ Jordan Peterson

Is this the new “Purple Pill?” Jack says “No. Because the unit of analysis is still on men. We need to be able to take an inventory and talk about the ways that women are imperfect, human, greedy, mean, ugly, sarcastic, etc. And it’s not “misogynistic” to ask women to take this inventory.

Contact Jack:

• Website / Blog: https://malefriendlymedia.com

• Twitter: https://twitter.com/counterfemsw?lang=en

• More information: https://on-boys.blubrry.net/jack-kammer-boys-are-affected-by-sexism-too/

Calming the Chaos Previously Interviewed Jack Kammer in 2023 – Check it out here:

Sexual Chaos – Male Sexual Expression with Jack Kammer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP_t9l-34bA

#romantic #relationshipsanddating #mentalhealth

What is Recovery? September is Recovery Month

Sun, 29 Sep 2024 19:51:00 -0700

September is Recovery Month!

Let’s let recovery last all year

Resources:

SAMHSA: National Recovery Month. More information at https://www.samhsa.gov/recovery-month

SAMHSA: Suicide Prevention and Crisis Management:

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988

Call or text 988

Email 988 lifeline.org to chat

Findsupport.gov

Findtreatment.gov

www.samhsa.gov/recovery

Please call your local crisis clinic or emergency room if you are in crisis! If you need help, email me at calmingthec@gmail.com and I can find you some resources

Film Links:

SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1RG9Ut3Efc&t=1s

Life on Third and Pike - @BrandonBuckingham

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ijA2dv5Bss&t=5s

Mental Health Crisis Video – Detroit 4

https://youtu.be/F7frwiF1e1M?si=NJ2XHtvHOqkhBiut

Suicide Prevention Video - Psych Hub

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TokWrCfq_Cc

Take care out there!

When Life Feels Awful - Interview with Tom Cronin

Sun, 22 Sep 2024 18:06:00 -0700

What to do when Life Feels Awful |Interview with Tom Cronin

People come into my therapy office all the time saying they are anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, and don’t have the life that they hoped they would have.

Today, I talk with Tom Cronin, who is a speaker, writer, film producer, and motivational speaker. He has developed a meditation method that helped him rise out of the chaos of misery, anxiety, depression, addiction and agoraphobia. In this episode, we highlight parts of his film called “The Portal,” and Tom comments on how his meditation techniques can help people when their lives feel awful.

Tom encourages people to “Change their inside worlds and watch their outside worlds change.” He encourages stillness and inner calm to help you manage the chaos in your life.

“Changing the world, one mind at a time.” ~ Tom Cronin

Bio:

I was a broker in finance for 26 years and most of my life I had no idea what I was meant to do, what I was here for, or what my calling was. I was stressed, anxious, depressed, suffering from panic attacks and severe insomnia. It became so bad that I questioned whether I wanted to go on with life.

Now it is very clear to me. I have a very deep understanding of who I am and what I’m here to do. My work now is to help other people like you find their passion and purpose like I did. In just a few years I left finance and became a meditation teacher, transformation coach, speaker, author of 6 books, producer of the film The Portal, founder of the app The Portal, and retreat host.

I’m here to support you in realizing the immense potential that is within you right now...

Website: www.tomcronin.com

Social Media Links:

Instagram: @tomcronin

#mentalhealth #improvemylife #depression

What is Chaos? 5 Ways to Calm Overwhelm

Sun, 30 Jun 2024 16:19:00 -0700

The word “Chaos” and “Chaotic” are words that seem to be floating around more and more as time goes on. But I was talking chaos back in 2019, before the Pandemic was even though of.

Listen to what I said about chaos (this is me back in 2019)

So what is Chaos?

• Complete disorder

• Unpredictable behavior

• Random or intense situations

• Small changes that happen in bundles or are sensitive in nature

• Disorganized

• (And my favorite) A confused mass or mixture.

These can be in any of your major life domains, including

Physical

Mental / Emotional

Environmental

Societal

Legal

Political

Family / Relationship

Financial

School

Career / Occupational

Technological

Institutional

Examples: Big events, like any war, the Stock Market Crash, riots, weather systems that cause power outages or death such as hurricane Katrina), 9-11-2001, Watergate, January 6th, Columbine or any mass shooting, the Pandemic.

But smaller, more personal events can cause you mental / emotional chaos: like a cancer diagnosis, changes in health care, moving, getting pulled over by a cop, getting robbed, paying more taxes, having kids, being a parent, graduating high school, a wedding, computer hard drive crashes, being ghosted.

For all these situations of chaos there is a simple formula that you can use to calm yourself and have more order to your experience. And for this, I will use my yard as an example.

So how did I calm the chaos?

1. I noticed the situation and my thoughts and feelings about the situation. (Aware)

2. I focused on what needed to be done to restore order (Assess)

3. I committed my time, energy and patience to restoring order (Agree)

4. I spent my time and energy to restore order, being as patient as possible (Act)

5. I celebrated each successful restoration of order….not perfect…but orderly (Appreciate)

Bottom Line: If you are aware that you are in chaos, you can assess what needs to be done to restore order, agree to commit the time to take action to restore order, and appreciate each successful restoration of order.

You can do what I did in my garden in any area of your life!

#mentalhealth #psychology #gardening

Bad Therapy? Let's Discuss!

Wed, 15 May 2024 21:44:00 -0700

Does Counseling Cause Chaos? |Let’s Discuss “Bad Therapy”

Psychotherapists are out in the world to help people, right? But what if there are Licensed Psychotherapists out in the world who are making people’s mental health problems worse?

Well, that’s what author and journalist Abigail Shrier postulates in her book “Bad Therapy – Why kids aren’t growing up.” This book accuses therapists of harming people and children by

• The rise in accessibility of treatment isn’t producing positive outcomes

• Not informing parents what is going on with their kids in therapy

• Not telling kids the risks of therapy, and that it can do harm

• Talking about feelings which can lead to increased rumination, anxiety and depression

• Recommending therapy to those who don’t need it

• Keeping people in therapy to keep an income stream for themselves

• Avoiding helping the truly mentally ill

• Selling a generation on the idea that everyone is sick

• Telling people everyone has trauma, when it’s really just “bad memories”

• Strong-arming their suggestions and judgments onto children

Full Interview Links:

Joe Rogan’s Podcast Interview with Abigail Shrier: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z72hgYk-5iI

UnHeard’s Podcast Interview with Abigail Shrier: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJMhyG50N-Y&t=1459s

Links and Resources

My Counseling Website: www.lokahicounseling.com

My Professional Disclosure Form

Contact Abigail at https://www.abigailshrier.com/

WACs and RCWs for Mental Health Counseling

https://doh.wa.gov/licenses-permits-and-certificates/professions-new-renew-or-update/mental-health-counselor/laws

To File a Complaint

https://doh.wa.gov/licenses-permits-and-certificates/file-complaint-about-provider-or-facility/health-professions-complaint-process

Links and Resources

American Counseling Association Code of Ethical Conduct for Counselors: https://www.counseling.org/resources/...

To see my Professional Disclosure Form, please visit My Counseling Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

#badtherapy #joerogan #Unherd #abigailshrier #mentalhealth #counseling #psychology #psychotherapy #anxiety #depression #gender #kids #lorigottlieb #talkwtihsometone

Get Better Sleep! With Helen Sernett

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 19:59:00 -0700

Insomnia Causes Chaos! |Interview with Helen Sernett

Today, for the final episode of Season 5, Helen Sernett talks about the remedies she has used to conquer insomnia, improve her energy, and calm her physical and emotional chaos. Helen is a self-proclaimed Sleep Evangelist, and has helped many people calm their insomnia by using “Sleep Lists.” Helen’s interview is timely because Tracy will also be talking about putting Calming the Chaos Podcast down for a nap, and about the future plans for the podcast.

Key Points and Timestamps:

5:00 How Helen got interested in the benefits of getting good sleep

“I had to deserve a good sleep”

Helen left a career in non-profit fundraising to do “Sleep Evangelizing”

7:19: It is important to get good sleep! Here’s why

9:24: What happens if you don’t sleep enough – “You are being a much more risky person if you don’t get enough sleep.” Tracy’s stories about driving while too tired. It’s a safety issue!

Our sleep gives us a better balance of chemicals to be more positive and to get over obstacles.”

13:30 - The critical voice can be turned on with less sleep. If you want to turn off the critical voice, more sleep and quality sleep can help!

14:24: Helen’s method for conquering insomnia: What she’s tried and what works and how Sleep Lists help

17:00: You can create a podcast with your original ideas!

Helen uses Hrz to record her voice in a soothing manner and 60 beats per minute voice pattern

21:00 Learning something new is confidence-building. Website Tour

22:40 Sleep Resources

25:00 Phones and sleep – Your phone can be helpful to you helping you improve and support your goals for sleep

32:00 Helen wants to be there for people to help them be joyful. She also comments on using drugs for sleep

35:00 “If you can….get good sleep and find your way to a deep and restorative sleep without the aid of pharmaceuticals

37:00 Parting thoughts from Helen – “It will help you optimize your true self!” “Sleep is LIFE!”

Links and Resources

Helen’s Podcast with Sleep Lists, Patreon and information about how to contact Helen: www.sleeplists.com

Social Media Links:

LinkedIn: In@helehsernett

#insomnia #Prozacandmentalhealth #sleepdisorders

The Chaos of Sensory Input

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 17:13:00 -0700

Sensory Input and Chaos - Interview with Dr. Rebecca Jackson

Today, our guest is Dr. Rebecca Jackson, a Board Certified Cognitive Specialist and Author of the book “Back on Track,” which is a practical guide to help people of all ages thrive in this age of sensory overload. Dr. Jackson will give us examples of sensory input, help us understand sensory overload, and suggest some ways we can calm the chaos of sensory overload.

Key points and Timestamps:

What are the things we DO have an influence on in this chaotic world, and be the best version of ourselves?

2:48 Tracy displays Rebecca’s book “Back on Track”

3:16: “The more I learn, the more I feel like I know nothing” ~ Rebecca

4:16: Rebecca’s description of herself, who she is and what she is doing in neuropsychology. “I want to understand why things are here in the first place.”

Rebecca started out as a chiropractor. As a young mom, she was interested in human development. She also has a passion for learning.

As Rebecca learned more, parents would ask Rebecca, “Is this on track for my child?”

Rebecca asked the question, “What can we do today so that we don’t have to worry about whether our children are on track?”

7:40: “We’re sensing things all the time”

7:55: What Rebecca does at BrainBalance - Chief Programs Officer (Builds and Develops new Programs for creating change in kids)

10:10 Rebecca’s Book: Back on Track. “It’s all about hope and action plan.” Rebecca helps determine why things are the way they are, and what people can do to change it.

“I feel like the pandemic took fire and poured fuel upon it.”

“What are we prepared to do about the problems?”

13:00 – The research about the infants born during the pandemic – different brains??! “Structural changes in the brain.” Tracy wonders about the children, pre-teens and teens during the pandemic and the changes in brain structure…even in adults!

Could ALL of our brains have changed during the pandemic?

What happened? “A change in our sensory experiences” happened during the pandemic

We all experienced a limited sensory experience during the pandemic – “It’s the same, every day.”

We cut off our rich and varied sensory experiences every day.

It can disrupt attention, increase anxiety, disrupt our ability to regulate our moods

17:36: “When we’re tired and hungry, our brain is more negative and has a harder time processing information.” We become vulnerable to emotion.

20:20 Rebecca differentiates between

• A sensory Overload

• A Sensory Disregulation / Processing Disorder

“We rely on our senses to give us accurate information”

Examples:

ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Feeding Disorder)

The lights in Target

Am I overly sensitive

“My sensory experience is not your sensory experience”

26:33: “When there is a trauma experience, it puts the brain into a higher sense of sensory alert.”

27:00 (Tracy) “The Bulls and the Butterflies” spectrum

Sensory-Seekers and Sensory-Avoiders – Both a sign of maturity

29:11: Should we use Tik-Tok to self-diagnose as neuro-divergent?

DON’T go to Tik-Tok for Diagnostics

DO Talk about Mental Health Concerns

Sensory overload threshold doesn’t equal a Sensory Processing Disorder

If you are wondering if you struggle with a Sensory Processing Disorder, go to the specialists for a Diagnosis

31:45: Major Life Domains Palm Tree – if your condition is affecting your Life Domains, you might

32:24: The Domains of Brain Health are Sensory, Motor, Cognitive, Social/Emotional and Behavioral

Everything in the brain is so interconnected, so if something affects one area, it affects all of them

34:20: How to approach being overly tired or sluggish: The Reticular Activating System has a direct impact on how we take in sensory information opens when we are standing, and closes when we lay down / sleep. Stretching “opens the gate” to core postural muscles and increases alertness. So if you want to be alert, move your body and engage your muscles.

37:00: If we are overloaded, overtired and in chaos, what can we do?

A variety of sensory experiences, and repeating them over and over during each day. “Enrich your taste in sensory experiences by being intentional about varying your sensory experiences.”

39:07: What about Tracy’s infatuation with true crime? Is she breaking her brain if you listen to court cases? Is there a healthy limit?

Not all screen time is created equal – look at the levels of engagement you have when you listen or watch

Moderation is the key to everything – Every moment you scroll is a minute that you are not varying your sensory experience. Finding balance is the way to get brain health and wellness.

Resources:

Rebecca’s Website: www.drrebeccajackson.com

Brain Balance Website: www.brainbalance.com

Instagram: @drrebeccajackson

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-jackson-148461b/

Melinda Moyer is interviewed on this podcast. She is the one who researched how the pandemic affected kids’ brain development during COVID-19: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcQMK99i5CQ

#Neurodivergence #Sensoryinput #mentalhealth #sensoryoverload

Calming the Chaotic Brain with Dominika Staniewicz

Sun, 24 Mar 2024 22:01:00 -0700

Calming the Chaotic Brain - Interview with Dominika Staniewicz

Today, our guest is Dominika Staniewicz, one of the few Elite Neuroencoding specialists in the world. She is also Licensed as a Brain Coach by Dr. Amen, a renowned Neuropsychiatrist. Dominika helps people overcome a variety of mental and emotional issues using techniques like Brain Coaching, Neuroencoding and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). In this episode, we learn about how Dominika treats issues like trauma, stress, pain, depression, anxiety, ADHD, Anger and aggression using a mixture of science, neuroscience and psychology.

Key points and Timestamps:

2:26: What is Neuroencoding? “Using the body, mind, neuropathways and neuroplasticity to create lasting change in the brain, behavioral and emotional change.”

5:14: Dominika tells how she made the shift from practicing Sociology, Education and Coaching to practicing as an Elite Neuroencoding Specialist and Brain Coach. “Life was Life-ing for me and I made a change.” Life Coaches helped her reduce her own issues significantly, and improve the quality of her life.

Anger Management – The Amygdala and Hypothalamus

9:23: “There is so much we now know about the Brain” Dominika’s tips on “optimizing the brain”

Oxygenation and Gut Health

Stress in Your Environment

Vitamin D and the Sun and other supplements

11:52: “Your brain is happy to change…if you direct it.”

12:09: Ways to trick your brain – remember more and study less by throwing your brain off balance, studying, and going into deep rest or sleep afterward. (Stanford study)

16:43: Can you see inside the brain? “Absolutely” – A Spect Scan

18:55: Working with a client with ADHD - it can become a superpower with the right assistance, supplements and brain care!

21:44: What can we do about the loss of hope?

22:00: Case Study – A client of Dominika’s who was frustrated and unhappy about her work and her life. “The brain likes categorizing.”

Sports analogy: People enjoy the journey and the progress they are making toward their goals

25:52: Depression and the mirror exercise: High five yourself in the mirror and tell yourself “I love you.” Also, celebrate the things that go well during the day. Yoga and walking in green areas also help!

Learning how to put your attention on the journey and the little things help depression.

31:18: Chronic Pain suggestions – Ketamine Treatment at a facility in Arizona can help more quickly than Neuroencoding. Also, use medication (vs. self-medication)

35:22: Dominika’s website tour – www.yourbraincoachd.com See Blog, Online Coaching Group and Book

39:00: Overwhelm and “shooting for the stratosphere.”

Parting thoughts: “Your brain…like your liver. can heal itself.” “There’s no reason to choose to be unhappy.”

Resources:

Dominika’s Website: https://www.yourbraincoachd.com/

Chronic Pain Website: Dr. James at Advanced Wellness and Pain - 5111 N. Scottsdale Road, Suite 105 Scottsdale AZ 85250 or https://advancedwellnessandpain.com/

Dominika’s Book – “The Magic of Dreaming Big, Acting Small and Achieving Success” at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3vukMAd

#ADHD #Depression #mentalhealth

Helping Introverted People Date - With Jon Pethke

Sun, 25 Feb 2024 17:33:00 -0700

Dating Help for Shy and Introverted People - Interview with Jon Pethke

Today, our guest is Jon Pethke, a United States Air Force Veteran out of Appleton, Wisconsin with a Bachelor Degree in Organizational Leadership who has developed a dating app specifically for shy and introverted people.

Jon started development of the app in 2022 when he founded Introwoo LLC and partnered with CodeGlo Technologies. Together, they developed CoyAmore, the dating app for shy and introverted people.

Join us as we talk with Jon about what inspired him to develop CoyAmore, how he developed the app, and how to use it. We will also take a tour of the app and his website to give the audience an idea of how it works. As an introvert himself, Jon will offer some dating advice to those who are shy or introverted and offer tips and tools to use in the dating world.

Jon is currently working on his Masters in Science Degree in Sustainable Management at the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh. He currently works as an Internal Auditor for American Family Insurance while also working part time as an instructor for Fox Valley Technical College teaching veterans about small business development.

Key points and Timestamps:

2:02: Jon explains why he developed CoyAmore

“Developing an App wasn’t easy at all” It took a year to develop CoyAmore, and it was released in May of 2023.

A lot of time and patience went into developing CoyAmore.

5:46 Jon explains how he developed the questions on CoyAmore specifically for shy and introverted people.

• Based around the 5 universal love languages and paired with people who best fit your love languages

• CoyAmore is different, and hopefully will help to create a community that helps shy and introverted people more comfortably engage with one another

• The hope is to create more features (like a “Blind Date” Option) which is a second layer of matching that takes the fear of asking someone out on a date.

8:45: Jon Explains how the App works, starting with the login process, and the intention of meeting up in person eventually. Tracy goes over the questions that CoyAmore asks when creating dating preferences.

Smoking, drinking, political affiliations, height, Astrology, Love Languages, children, pets and movie genres

For example: “What do you think about Astrology?” or “Cats or Dogs for Pets”

14:05: More information about Jon and the work he is currently doing while going to Graduate School

15:12: How did you come up with the name “CoyAmore” (or “ShyLove”)

17:10 CoyAmore Website Tour and CoyAmore won the 2023 May Award for Best Mobile App!

21:32: Tips for helping people feel more comfortable developing a dating profile

• “Get support and talking with someone to help” to be as comfortable as possible reaching out

“At the end of the day, to meet someone in any capacity you need to take a step out.”

More people have problems getting a conversation going to figure out if they want to go out on a date

Check out Jon’s blog at https://coyamore.com/blog/

• Make a dating profile with support from others

• Encouage yourself with positive suggestions

• Like yourself and you can’t go wrong

• Positive self-talk

25:38: CoyAmore is in the first year of development so there is a small pool of people on it now. Be patient! And stay on as it continues to grow.

Resources:

Download CoyAmore at the following links:

Apple Devices: https://apps.apple.com/in/app/coyamore-dating-for-introverts/id1661401116

Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.codeglo.coyamore&pli=1

Best Mobile App Award of May 2023! https://bestmobileappawards.com/app-submission/coyamore

Jon’s Website: www.coyamore.com

Check out Jon’s Blog! He posts every week: https://coyamore.com/blog/

Contact Jon at info@coyamore.com

Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/CoyAmoreDating

Instagram at @coyamoredating

Twitter “X” at coyamoredating

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jon-pethke-922618286/

Best Mobile App Award of 2023! https://bestmobileappawards.com/app-submission/coyamore

#datingforintroverts #datingtipsforshypeople #love #relationships #mentalhealth

Jealous Minds - Overcoming Jealousy with Shanenn Bryant

Sun, 18 Feb 2024 11:47:00 -0700

Jealous Minds - Interview with Shanenn Bryant

Today, our guest is Shanenn Bryant, a relationship confidence expert and one of the select few who focus on jealousy in relationships. Many people have daily anxiety and mistrust of their partners, even without evidence of infidelity. This fear runs so deep from either childhood dysfunction or past infidelity that they’ve now developed insecure habits like checking their partner’s phone, text messages, and social media accounts for any signs of infidelity. Shanenn is here on Calming the Chaos Podcast to discuss jealousy, how it can hurt relationships, and how people can move past jealousy and into trusting relationships with themselves and others.

Key points and Timestamps:

2:42: Shanenn’s story of chaos and how she became a Jealousy Relationship Expert

4:50: Shannen – “If my own father doesn’t love me, then why would anyone else?”

5:50 Shannen – Jealousy is shameful for people to admit. “There’s a lot of time wasted when your attention is focused on your partner 90% of the time.”

Jealousy affects all major life domains: Home, work, family, etc.

7:27: Shanenn - The difference between jealousy and envy

9:07 Shannen - How Jealousy shows up (3 ways)

1. Projection – Have YOU cheated in the past, so jealousy is projected onto another person

2. Protection – Were YOU in a relationship before where you were cheated on, so jealousy is protective

3. Competition – Were YOU in a friend group where you were excluded or uninvited to events, so jealousy is competitive in nature.

11:46: Tracy asks Shanenn to describe some situations where people are jealous

Two buckets:

1. Family of origin is unstable

2. The adult experience of infidelity on you helped you to develop insecure habits of protection

“Jealousy isn’t a problem, it’s a solution.” “What is the jealousy trying to solve?”

13:47 Tracy presents Hypothetical Jealousy Situation #1 to Shannen and she responds about what she would do

1. No cheating is happening, but jealousy is happening.

Shanenn: The first step is you need to get self-aware of what you are doing. Then, realize that it probably has nothing to do with what your partner is doing, but how YOU are perceiving what is going on. Then, asking yourself, “Why do you have so much fear about this?” Look at the beliefs and thoughts and check the facts.

18:27 Tracy presents Hypothetical Jealousy Situation #2 to Shanenn and she responds about what she would do

2. Cheating has happened in the past

Shanenn: It’s important for the offender to come clean about the whole story of the infidelity one time, preferably in the presence of a professional. It’s also important to give the offended partner time to process it, and consider the information they REALLY want to know, and what information might hurt them.

21:46: Tracy – Do you work with the person who ISN’T the jealous person? Setting boundaries and limits to questions and requests for reassurance. Work toward not providing reinforcement to the jealous partner

24:40 Tracy – When is there manageable jealousy and toxic jealousy? How can we figure that out and take action? Consider whether the jealous person is seeking help or working on the problem, how much love they have for the jealous partner. Seek out therapy or coaching from someone like Shanenn.

27:38 – Tracy describes how she works with couples who struggle with actual infidelity

“I don’t know whether this couple will stay together or break it off, but I do know this is that through the process we will gain some clarity either way.

Shanenn describes getting “kicked out” of couples therapy

Tracy – Some therapists admit they are beyond their expertise, so they do need to refer couples on

30:38: We tour Shanenn’s website and the products and services she has to offer www.topself.com

Free resources from website!

Be a part of Shanenn’s Show!

34:00 Shanenn’s Facebook group “Jealousy Junkies” because jealousy is similar to an addiction

Shanenn offers a free discovery call through her website, www.topself.com

38:17 Shanenn’s final words

“Don’t give up.”

Be mindful of the trigger…..the gap….and the response. Use the gap to lenghtn shorten the repair time

You’re not alone

There are ways to make it better

There is support out there for you!

Resources:

Shanenn’s Website: https://www.topself.com/

Shanenn’s Instagram: http://Instagram.com/topselfcoach

Shanenn’s Facebook group: https://urlgeni.us/facebook/JealousyJunkie

#jealousy #infidelityinrelationships #mentalhealth

Healing from Heartbreak

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 21:41:00 -0700

Ben Oofana offers some insights and suggestions for those who are struggling with romantic breakups.

This podcast episode is being aired in the month of February, 2024, and is the start of the month where I focus on love and relationships.

More show notes to come! In the meantime, take care and check Ben out on his website at www.benoofana.com

Healing From Heartbreak - Interview with Ben Oofana

Today, our guest is Ben Oofana who, after a succession of destructive relationships in his mid-twenties, realized that he was reenacting the traumas of his childhood and adolescence. He had been living among the Kiowa and Kiowa-Apache Indians had been chosen to be an apprentice for Horace Daukei, the last surviving traditional Kiowa Medicine Man. After the breakups, Ben developed a series of intensive meditation practices to help people heal from deep emotional wounding, which is the work he continues to do today. Join us as Ben tells his story and tells us how we can heal from the heartbreak of a breakup or loss.

Key points:

Timestamp 5:54: Ben says “To scrape bottom is the only way to understand the suffering of the people you’re working with.” And “I discovered ways to heal devastating wounds, including romantic relationships.

Tracy: Who we are, and who we present ourselves in the world….that’s who we attract. And a spiritual connection can help when you go through a breakup

Timestamp 8:28 Ben says “Emotions are the doorway to access this deeper core being and a higher power. Most people dissociate, self-medicate and distract from the pain.

Timestamp 9:15: Ben says, “You can’t heal it if you don’t feel it.”

Timestamp 12:08: Ben’s theory about why we get into these relationships in the first place: When we have deeply wounded experiences as kids with no resources to cope, we develop coping that turns us away from emotions and numbs our senses and waking awareness. On the conscious level, we have a waking awareness, but the deeper subconscious level doesn’t come up until we’re triggered. Then, we carry the wounds and draw people similar to who have wounded us in the past.

Timestamp 25:00 “Nobody is broken, it’s just that sometimes your antennae is damaged or corroded.”

“Healing the deeply wounded parts of ourselves will make it possible for us to choose more wise partners and friends in the future."

Tips and Tools for Healing Heartbreak

Tip #1: Timestamp 9:20: You are the only one you will never lose or leave.” When a relationship doesn’t work, we can truly be present and feel authentic emotional responses, breathe, digest and use various therapeutic interventions to help.

Tip #2: Pay attention to yellow flags in relationships: notice numbing, desensitization, dissociation. This is happening because we can’t deal with our emotions.

Tip #3: When you are triggered emotionally, drop down into your body and breathe into your feelings and bodily sensations.

Tip #4: Develop your senses so that you can feel the person in your body….both the connection and the incompatibility

Tip #5: Timestamp 30:00 Do things to protect yourself from negative / toxic people (i.e. walking meditation and healing the deeply wounded parts of yourself). This will make you less vulnerable and will transform you and in turn help you attract healthier companions.

Resources:

Ben’s website is https://benoofana.com/

Ben Oofana’s recently posted article about strategies for bouncing back and healing after breakups

https://benoofana.com/breaking-up-and-bouncing-back-unconventional-strategies-for-rapid-healing/

Ben’s free E-Book: "The Essentials of Getting Over Your Breakup and Moving On" https://www.gettingoveryourbreakup.com/

Book a FREE 20 minute call with Ben

https://www.healmyheartache.com/book-a-call

Take care out there!

~Tracy ~

#ghost #rejectionandheartbreak #mentalhealth

Ticked Off - Surviving the Chaos of Tourette's Disorder

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 21:48:00 -0700

Ticked off! | Surviving the Chaos of Tourettes Disorder with Kristof Morrow

Tourettes Disorder is one of the most challenging and debilitating mental health anyone can experience. It’s technically a Tic Disorder. Tics are sudden, rapid, unexpected and recurrent motor movements (i.e. hands, feet, legs, eye-blinking) and / or vocal utterings, either of random words and even vulgarities. People experience Tics and Tourettes in different ways, and few presentations are the same from person to person. Sounds like chaos, right?

Today, our guest is Kristof Morrow, a man who developed Tourettes Disorder at age 18 while serving in the U.S. Navy. And though he was eventually be discharged from Naval service because of the debilitating effects of Tourettes Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Kristof was able to discover his talents as a writer. Today, Kristof is an award-winning Author, journalist and his videos have gone viral on TikTok. Join us as Kristof tells his story and tells us how he was able to find success despite having a disability, and to give hope that anyone can overcome even the most challenging and chaotic situations in life.

Key points:

Kristof learned at an early age “When you are wrong, it gets violent”

When you grow up abused, you become an expert in changing and modifying yourself. It’s a perverted metamorphosis because modifying yourself doesn’t work because then you have no identity.

When you have an identity crisis, OCD and other means of coping are used, but these also cause problems.

Military service is a solemn, noble thing. Being a Corman Medic in the navy “was a beautiful thing” and “I wanted to know that I was capable of doing that kind of good.”

The letter Kristof wrote to service members in middle school. “What’s important to me is to provide care to everyone, and do no harm.”

Tics are a brief loss of agency. “The underlying cause is unknown, but I know what exacerbates it.”

Tips and Tools:

Tip #1: One of the main keys to healing is to understand that the notions you have about yourself arrived from abuse and not from the truth.

Tip #2: Know what exacerbates your tic(s), and wear gloves or protective clothing to prevent harm to yourself

Tip #3: Tics can manifest when you are under pressure, so learning to manage anxiety is crucial

Tip #4: When any meaningful relationships or any other life domains are compromised, it’s a sign that you need to accept that you have a mental health issue and can receive help for it

Tip #5: Mental health is not your fault but it is your responsibility

Tip #6: Being more forgiving toward yourself for having a mental health condition is helpful

Going Forward – And Doing Great Things (Kristof’s Top 10 Tips):

1. Making inspiring and profound connections with others who fulfill and support you

2. If you feel like you have a talent, cultivate it and don’t give up trying

3. “A lot of my success was privilege” (Being a white male) – Acknowledge your privilege

4. Learn to turn rejection into resilience

5. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

6. Work with your dopamine receptors by removing stimulants and sensory input and take medications if prescribed

7. Meditation and meditative breathing “Emptying a pool with a garden hose”

8. Emotional Freedom Technique or “Tapping”

9. Loop Earplugs – invisible noise reducing devices for sleep and during waking hours to reduce sensory input

10. “Even if the world falls down around us, we can all get through it hugging each other.”

“Justice and Redemption are folly…but to seek them is not.”

Link to Kristof’s Book:

https://www.amazon.com/The-Second-Sun-1-book-series/dp/B0C6FWQCYS

Social Media Links:

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kristofmorrow

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/KristofMorrow/posts

Instagram: @kristofmorrow

Resources:

Emotional Freedom Technique – Learn how Tapping can help your emotional struggles! https://www.thetappingsolution.com/tapping-101/

Comprehensive Behavioral Intervention for tics (CBIT) Good video on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tQVTVvAqGs&t=11s

Southpark’s Depiction of Tourette’s Disorder in Cartman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBtyGAbyQpc

The Loop Earplugs for Noise and Sensory Reduction: https://us.loopearplugs.com/collections/all

More of Tracy’s costumes in “Light and Dark 2023” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtTL1uPjVSI&t=148s

#tourettes #mentalhealth #ticdisorders

Show Me The Money! Alan Lazaros Calms Financial Chaos

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 13:09:00 -0700

Show Me the Money! | Alan Lazaros Can Help You Calm your Financial Chaos

Are you in a financial crisis? Having problems making money, or just wishing you had more money to move closer toward your dreams and goals in life? Certainly, there are many people who are currently experiencing financial chaos. If this is you, Alan Lazaros has some financial wisdom to share that can help you calm your financial chaos.

Alan is a Business Coach, Consultant, Trainer and Speaker who helps people maximize their growth, impact and profitability. He is the CEO and Co-Founder of Next Level University, and is also the Co-Host of Next Level University Podcast. During this podcast episode, Alan shares his up and down relationship with money, and his own unique brush with a near death experience that completely changed his life and made him contemplate who he was and the choices he was making in his life. Join us for a truly inspiring talk with someone who has found his way toward a life filled with self-improvement, meaning and purpose, and is now helping others do the same.

Key points and Questions:

At any time, some crisis can happen to throw you off physically, emotionally, financially

Achievement (what you do) is one thing, but what really matters is who you are, and how you are living your life with Health, Wealth and Love

Are you doing all you can with all you have?

Are you making wise choices?

Do you believe in yourself?

Financial position occurs on a continuum – We review the continuum and consider what people might do during tough financial times

Tips, Tools and Techniques (at timestamp 19:58) In summary:

• You are responsible for the outcomes in your life. You can re-tool, re-equip, learn a new skill, ask for help and resources

• Short term profitability vs. Long term wealth strategies. You need both

• Consider what you can use around you to help you meet your basic needs, while also considering what you’ll need to do long term to reach your goals and dreams

• Anyone who is entitled is in trouble (timestamp 29:01) Keep a good work ethic, have humility, gratitude, appreciate opportunity and have self-discipline.

• When you have a medical or mental health condition, play your part, do what you can with what you have

• Don’t rely on Public Assistance but accept resources from trusted others

• Focus on who loves you, who is on your team and who wants to see you win

• Ask for free resources, Go Fund Me and free mentorships

• “People help people who put in the effort, show humility and express gratitude.”

• If you are homeless, try adding value to what you can do, express humility, do what it takes, and know the value of earning a dollar

• Getting results does not happen without effort, time, training, connections

Social Media Links:

Website: www.nextleveluniverse.com

Podcast: "Next Level University" (Available on iTunes, Apple Podcasts, Spotify and more) Here is the Apple Podcasts Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/next-level-university/id1221110027

YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@NextLevelUniversity

Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090634475273

Instagram: @alazaros88

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alanlazarosllc/

Resources:

Book by Bonnie Ware: “The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” https://bronnieware.com/books/

Bonnie’s Blog / Website: https://bronnieware.com/blog/regrets-of-the-dying/

Ted Talk by Tony Robbins called “Why We do What We Do.”

On YouTube at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwFOwyoH-3g

Also at https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_why_we_do_what_we_do?language=en

John Mayer Song with the reference to a Quarter Life Crisis

"Why Georgia Why" Crisis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhYn7ryaWNE&t=0s

Viktor Frankl Great Quotes! https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/2782.Viktor_E_Frankl

Tracy Interviews Sarry Ibrihim about Finances in 2022, here’s a link to our Interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_A6Oxf_S2c

#money #mentalhealth #finance

Help! I am in Crisis | Crisis Coaching with Debra Woog

Fri, 22 Dec 2023 17:26:00 -0700

Help! I’m in Crisis! | Debra Woog talks Divorce, Co-Parenting, Family Conflict and More!

Since the Pandemic, the divorce rate has increased, people are frustrated with one another and just don’t get along with other people. Families, friends, and romantic relationships are in peril. Truly, people are in chaos!

I chose to interview Debra Woog because she is a Crisis Navigation Partner, and she can offer her expertise about how to manage the conflict within relationships, which includes, family, friendships and romantic relationships. Debra has over 30 years of experience as a Leadership Researcher, Executive, and Advisor. Debra helps people process difficult situations, connect with necessary resources, communicate effectively and lead their lives with a clear mind and a solid strategy for success.

Intro

Debra introduces herself by talking about her own crises and talking about what crisis is.

Key points:

At a time where people are exhausted, burned out and have less capacity to handle things

There comes a crisis or a conflict

And there are fewer internal and external resources to handle it all

People give up, blame other people or themselves

What do we do when we’re unable to accommodate the needs and values of others?

Should we come to an agreement?

What are the advantages of getting along, understanding the viewpoints of others?

What do we do legally, financially and in our homes and families?

The process:

1. Self-Care

2. Enlist the care of others (Therapists, Coaches, Crisis Navigation Partners and Legal)

3. Engage with others

Social Media Links:

a. Website www.connecttwo.com

b. Social Media Links

i. Facebook: www.facebook.com/connecttwo

Resources:

NYT Article on Loneliness: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/06/opinion/loneliness-epidemic-solutions.html

A Permanent Solution to Anxiety? | Daniel Packard

Sun, 10 Dec 2023 17:14:00 -0700

A Permanent Solution to Anxiety? | Daniel Packard

One of the most common mental health conditions I see as a Therapist in private practice is Anxiety. Whether it is about social situations, relationships, work or school performance, health or family, anxiety often arises in situations that are unpredictable, uncertain or unknown. Which is why so many people experience anxiety in times of chaos, because chaos is by nature unpredictable, random, disorderly, messy.

There are a variety of different skills, tools and techniques to cope with anxiety. And most of them work just great if used consistently and properly. But what if there was a permanent solution to anxiety?

Well that brings us to our guest today. Daniel Packard is going to talk with us about a more permanent solution to anxiety…without using all the traditional coping skills, tools and techniques.

Daniel is a U.C. Berkeley Mechanical Engineer who turned his painful 10 year battle with severe anxiety into a mission to reverse engineer a permanent solution for anxiety. We’re going to find out more about Daniel’s story, and also his permanent solution to anxiety.

Intro

Daniel introduces himself and talks about how he reverse-engineered a permanent solution to anxiety, as opposed to just managing it. He offers a way to get past the belief “I am broken” and how to solve anxiety permanently.

Tracy’s 1-2-3 step method of Managing Anxiety

1. Be aware of anxiety and how it feels in your body

2. Use coping skills to calm the body’s physiology

3. Spot errors in your thinking and check the facts

Daniel’s Background and Research into Anxiety

A toxic relationship and missing ALL the flags (from white to purple to red)

Developing Complex PTSD

Trying “everything” to treat it for 10 years and losing hope

Then: The idea to “reverse engineer” a permanent solution to anxiety

Solving Anxiety – Permanently?

1. Exploring what anxiety looks like mechanically

2. Testing it with real participants around the world

3. Approaching the skeptics / mental health professionals who “don’t seem to care” and think anxiety is a problem with the mind. But what’s missing?

4. Engineering a solution that is based in problem-solving

5. “The root cause is in the body. The mind is only linked to it…it’s not the cause.”

“My body is feeling anxious” helps you to understand that anxiety is a problem of the body.

“Some well-meaning professionals sent you to the wrong location to deal with the problem of anxiety”

Tracy Pushes Back: “Isn’t anxiety necessary?”

Daniel: There’s a difference between the body’s stress response (body is on high alert for a short time) and anxiety (body is on high alert for a long period of time)

Key points:

Your body is creating the anxiety, not your mind.

There is a shame / stigma about the idea that anxiety is happening in the mind

“There’s no stigma in the idea that anxiety happens in the body”

Understanding why your nervous system is malfunctioning and that there is a way to repair it and maintain it

Every system needs the basics: The body needs care and maintenance in all sorts of ways. There are 29 basics of care that we weren’t taught. You can repair the nervous system and maintain it.

The process:

1. Repair

2. Retrain

3. Maintain

Resources

a. Website www.danielpackard.com

b. Social Media Links

i. Twitter @danielpackard

ii. Instagram @danielpackard

iii. YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/user/danielpackard

c. Resources

A Recent Podcast Daniel was on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR04RnxhOu0

FREE TRAINING + RESOURCES

https://www.danielpackard.com/free-resources-download

A Backstabbing Friend? Eating Disorders in Midlife with Nicole Christina

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 12:41:00 -0700

An Elegant Solution or a Backstabbing Friend? | Exploring Eating Disorders in Midlife with Nicole Christina, LCSW

Eating Disorders are mental health conditions that affect people of all ages. In this podcast, Nicole Christina discusses the unique conditions under which Eating Disorders affect women in midlife. Nicole is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in upstate New York who has worked with individuals who struggle with Eating Disorders for over 30 years. She also has a podcast called “Zestful Aging.” In this podcast, Nicole shares her knowledge about how Eating Disorders affect women in midlife, and offers some tools and resources for prevention and recovery.

Intro

Nicole introduces herself and talks about her professional experience treating individuals who struggle with Eating Disorders, and how she became interested in working with women in midlife who struggle with Eating Disorders.

Eating Disorder Discussion

What are some of the signs that someone could be struggling with an Eating Disorder in Midlife?

1. Changes in situations and in body (Body, aging parents, empty nest, grey divorce and mortality awareness)

2. Menopause – Changes in physical body

3. Social Influences and Life Domains

4. Social Media (Beauty Standards, Instant Information and Feedback from others)

5. Control, when life seems chaotic

6. Reinforcers

7. Children, especially Daughters

Awareness: What can we do recognize and help people who could have an Eating Disorder in midlife?

• The starved brain

• Positive comments may reinforce harmful eating behaviors

• Spotting inaccurate thinking

• Social media and “Super Agers”

Solutions: What can we do?

• Focus on how well you live, and the quality of your life

• Notice how much you obsess….and choose not to do it

• Know who you are and embrace it

• Being in Relationship with others and yourself

• Being connected with others and yourself at any level

• Lower your stress

The upcoming Holiday Season: Resources to help those who are struggling with eating in midlife

o “It’s one Day

o Continue to check in with yourself

o Stay Mindful

o Enjoy Yourself

o Enjoy the Food

o Practice Intuitive Eating

o Eat like a Normal Day

o Focus on the connection

o Focus on what you have to offer, rather than how much you eat, what you look like or what you weigh

o “You have so much to offer… The world needs your contributions!

Resources

a. Nicole’s Website https://zestfulaging.com/

b. Social Media Links

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ZestfulAgingPodcast/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zestfulaging/ or @zestfulaging

c. “Fat is a Feminine Issue” https://openlibrary.org/works/OL508163W/Fat_is_a_feminist_issue

d. “Intuitive Eating” https://www.intuitiveeating.org/

e. Tracy’s Calming the Chaos Podcast Interviews about Eating Disorders:

i. From Chaos to Disorder with Dr. Anita Johnston https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxQIL4DzGF4&t=9s

ii. Myths and Facts about Eating Disorders with Stacy Schilter-Pisano https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHYVKDWLFPg

iii. Eating Disorders and the Holidays with Stacy Schilter-Pisano https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wt2sPxb_74

iv. Transcending Weight Bais with Amelia Meacham https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOUF-MXunnQ

v. Therapists who had Disordered Eating with Maria Rippo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coXD56metzI

vi. Mindful Eating with Tracy Kenela (solo Episode) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqjBQVwVFL4

vii. Therapists who are afraid of Treating Eating Disorders with Katie Lear https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUpqqzRIrOQ

viii. Helping the Hangry – Part I with Katie Hart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sz8Ad_Foww

ix. Helping the Hangry – Part II with Katie Hart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnVl1Yx_iCI

Sexual Chaos - Exploring Male Sexual Expression with Jack Kammer

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 20:34:00 -0700

Sexual Chaos: Discussion on Male Sexual Expression – Interview with Jack Kammer

Intro: Have you ever wondered why Calming the Chaos Podcast hasn’t talked specifically about the topic of sex? It’s because nobody has asked me to! Until now. In this podcast, I talk with Jack Kammer, an Author and commentator on issues between men and women. Jack has a passion of helping policy makers see and understand the connection between male gender issues and some of America’s social problems. Join us for an open, fair, friendly and respectful discussion about the sexual expression of men and boys today, and what we can do to calm the sexual chaos.

I. The Male Point Of View (Jack)

II. The definition of Male Sexual Expression (per Chat GPT)

Male sexual expression refers to the various ways in which individuals who identify as male express their sexuality, desires, and preferences in a manner that is authentic to them. It encompasses a wide range of behaviors, feelings, and identities related to sexual attraction, arousal, and intimate relationships. Male sexual expression can include aspects such as communication, consent, self-discovery, and the ability to express one's desires and boundaries in a healthy and respectful manner. It is important to recognize that male sexual expression is diverse and can vary greatly among individuals, reflecting the complexity of human sexuality.

What is true? How are men “allowed” to express their sexuality? Male Stereotypes. Confusion.

Tracy: Does this mean “Free the nip” and “Free the tip?”

Jack: It depends on the where, when, with what expectation and intention (context)

III. Young men have a difficult time because “Women have the power”

• How many times per day do men think about having sex?

• How many times per day do women think about being sexy?

IV. A Seat at the Table – “Men get cast away from the discussion” (Jack)

• Why aren’t men included? “Because they are seen as the enemy” (Jack)

• Why would we want to attract the enemy? (Tracy)

• Historic context, including feminine and masculine roles, and “EP” (Earning Potential)

V. This is the chaos!

• Tracy: Both male and female traits can be expressed and they are okay. Be yourself!

• Jack: Women have a lot of latitude in their self-expression, men don’t

Are men “subservient, second class, unimportant and inferior?

The hope is that females would be aware of their feminine power and I’m respectful, aware and mindful of the needs of men and boys.

• Tracy: We all have personal power. Be aware and use it mindfully.

• Jack: Let’s have open, fair, friendly and respectful discussions. Invite men to a seat at the table!

VI. The Patriarchy

VII. The Persona and the Shadow

VIII. The Alpha Male vs. “The Alphabet Male”

IX. What can females do?

• Don’t laugh at sexist jokes about how clueless men are

• Try not to assume male stereotypes

• Acknowledge your ideas of superiority over men

X. Free the nip and the tip? “Maybe we’re not ready for that yet”

XI. Sample social media ads that are geared toward making men suffer

XII. Impromptu Fun with the two R’s: Red Shoe Diaries and Russell Brand

XIII. Contact Jack:

• Website / Blog: https://malefriendlymedia.medium.com/

• Twitter: https://twitter.com/counterfemsw?lang=en

• More information: https://on-boys.blubrry.net/jack-kammer-boys-are-affected-by-sexism-too/

#sexualexpression #society #feminism

Poking the Bear - Can Acupuncture Cure Depression?

Sun, 29 Oct 2023 16:21:00 -0700

Poking the Bear: Can Acupuncture Calm your Chaos? – Interview with Dr. Alex Joannou

Intro: Do you struggle with a physical or mental health condition that just isn’t going away? If so, then perhaps you’d be a good candidate for Acupuncture! If you are interested in learning more about acupuncture, listen to Dr. Alex Joannou talk about what Acupuncture is, and how it might help you calm your chaos.

I. Dr. Joannou, tell us about yourself

II. Describe how you got interested in doing Acupuncture

III. Describe what Acupuncture can help, including conditions such as:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Physical Pain

• Eating Disorders

• Fears

• Self-Esteem

• Other? (ADHD, Autism, etc)

What is the process of doing acupuncture, including how long does it take, what can you expect and does it hurt?

IV. Sell Tracy on the process of Acupuncture: Why should she try it?

V. How to choose a good Acupuncture Professional

VI. Dr. Joannou’s products and services

VII. Impromptu Australian Animal Quiz – Dr. Joannou gets 100%

VIII. Website: www.stickittodepression.com

Dr Alexander Joannou MBBS(Hons) FACNEM is creator of the Transformational Acupuncture System. During his 40-year medical career he has been consulted over 300,000 times and has witnessed firsthand the complex interrelationship between mind, body and spirit. He is one of Australia’s thought leaders in the management of depression and other mental illnesses. You can reach him at:

DrAlex@StickItToDepression.com

linkedin.com/in/dralexjoannou/

One Person - Two Losses | Suicide Awareness and Prevention

Sat, 14 Oct 2023 14:17:00 -0700

One Person…Two Losses | Understanding and Preventing Suicide with Lisa Sugarman

If you have ever experienced the death of a family member, especially due to suicide, then join us for a talk with Lisa Sugarman. Lisa shares how she coped with the grief and loss of her father, not once but twice. She tells her story, offers some suicide prevention tips, and gives you some valuable resources you can use if you are in crisis.

Intro

Who is Lisa Sugarman? She is a Boston-based columnist, author, Crisis Counselor and public speaker for organizations like The Trevor Project and National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI).

Lisa tells her story and describes her emotional experiences at 10 years old when her father died, and as an adult when she discovered he died by suicide.

Suicide discussion

What are some of the signs that someone could be considering suicide as an option to stop their pain?

1. Depression

2. Low Self-Esteem

3. Negative Self-Talk

4. Lack of Meaning or Purpose in Life

5. Sudden Changes in Mood

6. Sudden Changes in Behavior

What can we do recognize or help people who could be considering suicide?

1. Actively watch and listen to people around you

2. Check in and ask people questions

3. Give people time and space to express their feelings

4. Provide a safe space for them

5. Allow vulnerability

6. Be part of a community who will care for people

7. Talk about your thoughts

Understand that most people don’t want to die….they just want their pain to end

There is a lot of pain in the world right now. Look at the situation in the Middle East and listen to Andrew Gold’s YouTube Channel (Israel Explained video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMa__98pAa8&t=5s

Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

Resources

a. Website Tour http://www.lisasugarman.com

b. The Trevor Project https://www.thetrevorproject.org

c. National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) https://www.nami.org/Home

d. Lisa’s YouTube channel Suicide Survivor Series (full playlist)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLugByhVm06jXI7MmI1ZlZEetxlr_Btvun

Social Media Links:

YouTube channel: youtube.com/@thelisasugarman

Facebook.com/TheLisaSugarman

Twitter.com/thelisasugarman

Instagram.com/lisa_sugarman

Linkedin.com/in/lisa-sugarman-16925b69

Safe Havens for Pets in Domestic Violence Relationships

Tue, 10 Oct 2023 19:01:00 -0700

Safe Havens: Protecting Pets from the Chaos of Domestic Violence

Interview with Orazie Cook – Founder of Praline’s Corner

Orazie Cook is the CEO and President of Praline’s Backyard Foundation. The mission is centered around providing safe and temporary housing for the pets of domestic violence survivors during their transition. In her work, Orazie is consistently encountering situations filled with emotional chaos, overwhelm, and anxiety. The decision for survivors to leave their unsafe environments is complex, especially when the safety of their beloved pets is concerned. Our foundation plays a pivotal role in alleviating some of this chaos by ensuring their pets are cared for, allowing survivors to focus on their own safety and healing.

Introduction

A lived experience of domestic violence. Volunteered on a Domestic Violence Hotline and at the Humane Society. Orazie combined both of these experiences to create something that helped DV survivors find homes for their pets while they were in transition

“People struggle with Domestic Violence for a variety of different reasons, but I didn’t want them to struggle because of lack of housing for their pets.”

Partnering with existing pet-boarding facilities to find homes for pets of those affected by DV

1. What to do if you are a victim of DV and have a pet

• Take the pet with you when you leave the DV situation

• Praline’s Corner will pay for pet boarding for the first 7 days while a foster is found

• Praline’s corner will support the foster for up to 6 months with boarding

2. How does Orazie find the energy to do all this…and thank you!

• “The energy comes from the stories I receive”

• Stories of abuse and / or assault and regret of leaving their pet(s) behind

• Survivors are grateful for the resource Orazie is giving to DV survivors for their pets

• Helping people find information and transcend silence and shame around DV

3. Orazie’s Lived Experience of an abuser – Her own Mom

• She melded the lived experience of abuse with her love and passion for animals to form Praline’s Corner

4. What is Domestic Violence

• When anyone uses a weapon (physical, mental, emotional, financial) against you to hurt you

• “Abuse of Power”

5. What do we do with a pet if faced with Domestic Violence and I want to leave home? (All kinds of pets apply!)

• Pre-Planning Package

• Have a copy of pet’s vaccination history (to provide them with housing)

• pralinesbackyardfoundation.org and fill out the “Survivor Form” and give information on form

• They protect the anonymity of the pet and the survivor

Mission: “To eliminate barriers for DV survivors to providing housing for their pets”

Website: www.pralinesbackyardfoundation.org

Instagram: @pralines_backyard

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@pralinesback...

#pets #domesticviolencesurvivor #safetyfirst

Can Cooking Calm Your Chaos?

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 14:07:00 -0700

Calm your Chaos with Cooking?

• Kristin Tand Introduction

Kristin Tand is a mental health counselor who also loves to cook. She is passionate about helping overwhelmed adults slow down the hustle for perfection and start nourishing themselves in the kitchen. Kristin teaches tips and tricks to get out of your head and into your body, using cooking as a vehicle for living a richer life--while also taking the intimidation factor out of how to cook.

• Briefly introduce the topic of how Kristin discovered cooking as a therapeutic tool to calm anxiety and panic. (her personal experience)

Tracy is Kristin’s ideal audience

• Kristin to Tracy: “What are the reasons you don’t cook?”

• Share the video clips of Tracy cooking. Is there such a thing as mindful cooking when Tracy has ADD in the kitchen?

• Kristin comments on the clips as we go

Is there any science behind Cooking and Emotion Regulation?

• Does cooking have psychological and neurological benefits?

• Do cooking activate different senses and promote mindfulness?

• Does creativity play a part of why cooking reduces anxiety?

Cooking and Perfectionism

• Tracy shares personal stories of how cooking has been positive and negative

• Kristin inspires Tracy to learn and grow from these experiences

• Tracy shares her “microwave cooking” videos of confidence

• Kristin shares stories about how she’s helped others to manage anxiety and panic using cooking as a coping mechanism

• Tracy agrees to take a 30 day cooking challenge

Conclusion: Cooking can be creative and can reduce anxiety

Check out Kristin at her website www.inthekitchenwithkristin.com

Find True Love with Paul Zolman

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 21:43:00 -0700

Introduction:

• Paul Zolman introduction

• Briefly discuss the problem of anger – why are we so angry?

• Why is managing your anger important?

The Root Causes of Anger

• Why does anger show up? (Tracy explains)

• Is anger a “bad” emotion? (Tracy and Paul weigh in)

• Anger can be passed down from generations (Paul’s story)

How Anger Impacts Relationships

• Share examples and anecdotes of how anger has negatively affected your relationships (Paul)

Paul’s Technique: Ditch the Anger and Find True Love

Step 1: Intentionally practice a love language every day for 30 days using the die and the Love Language journal

Step 2: Read the Love Language Book and become a Love Language Linguist

Step 3: See what happens to your anger after 30 days

It really is that simple!

www.roleoflove.com

#relationship #love #selfimprovement

A Radical Life of Chaos with Elizabeth Mikotowicz

Sat, 13 May 2023 09:23:00 -0700

A Radical Life of Chaos…And Beyond! – Interview with Elizabeth Mikotowicz

If you would like to hear from someone who has had a radical and chaotic life…from Domestic Violence to drug addiction to becoming a prisoner in federal prison, then join us for a talk with Elizabeth Mikotowicz, who has found a way out radical chaos and found a way into a new life.

I. Intro – Tell us about yourself and your past chaotic history

II. What sorts of chaos did you experience?

• Survival of Domestic Violence

• Addicted to opioids

• Seizures

• Being a single mom and pregnant

• Turned away from a Domestic Violence Shelter

• Injury to her windpipe

• Child Protective Services

• Getting involved with drug dealers, pimps and thugs

• Going to federal prison for a non-violent drug charge

• Another Drug conviction and prison time

• No double jeopardy for drug charges

• Health Insurance ( and lack thereof) – so no access to counseling or medication

III. How did you turn it all around:

a. Realizing I am in a state of crisis / chaos

b. Painting murals in prison

c. Designing clothing

d. Making and selling artwork

e. Working for legislation change to provide more resources for vulnerable populations who struggle with domestic violence, addiction and mental illness

f. Working with the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation (DVR)

IV. Products and Services you’d like to promote

a. Upcoming book “No Justice…Just Us”

b. Adult coloring books

c. Clothing items

d. Artwork

V. Website Tour

http://www.legaleriste.com/en/elizabeth.mikotowicz

VI. Social Media Links:

Linked In www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-mikotowicz-409773220/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@epm_art_1111

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/epm_art_1111/

https://worldart.news/2022/09/05/unbreakable-surviving-assault-drugs-prison-exclusive-interview-with-elizabeth-mikotowicz-part-1/

Resources:

Christina Randall’s YouTube playlist about life in Prison at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eaIGMRr30w&list=PLiGmHSdJna3cvz4SuF77G_5_udUDYh6OF

List of State Agencies for the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation:

https://rsa.ed.gov/about/states

Take care, and have a great Summer!

Transcending Weight Bias - Interview with Amelia Meacham

Sat, 06 May 2023 11:19:00 -0700

Transcending Weight Bias and Treating Eating Disorders using a Health at Every Size Model – Interview with Amelia Meacham

Did you know that Eating Disorders affect at least 9% of the population worldwide? About 28.8 million Americans, will have an eating disorder in their lifetime. Eating disorders are also among the deadliest mental illnesses, second only to opioid overdose. About 26% of people with eating disorders attempt suicide.

There are a variety of different ways of treating Eating Disorders. And today, joining me is Amelia Meacham, who is a Senior at The University of Puget Sound in Washington State. Amelia has a Psychology Major and a Religious Studies minor, she’ll be graduating this May with her Bachelor of Arts Degree, and she is also my current practicum student. (Practicum = where Amelia and I create opportunities for her to learn about Eating Disorders and treatment using discussion, session observations, and other creative ways she can learn about individuals who struggle with Eating Disorders).

And I have learned so much from Amelia! Today, Amelia will be sharing her thesis about how to treat eating disorders better using a “Health at Every Size” (HAES) model. She will also be my first podcast guest to illustrate what I hope to be a new, shorter format that I’ll use with future guests in my next season of Calming the Chaos.

Intro to Amelia – Tell us about yourself and about your studies

Questions

1. How did you get interested in treating eating disorders?

2. What is a Weight based model of treatment?

3. What is a HAES model of treatment? ASDAH has the trademark on HAES, so we’ll use this definition in part from the ASDAH website:

a. Definition: The Health At Every Size® Principles promote health equity, support ending weight discrimination, and improve access to quality healthcare regardless of size. More info at https://asdah.org/health-at-every-size-haes-approach/

4. So what is a “Weight Bias?”

5. What barriers to treatment happen when Doctors, Therapists and Dieticians have weight biases?

a. Lack of perceived need

b. Failure of clinicians to diagnose and refer appropriately

c. Lack of treatment resources

6. How does a HAES Approach to Eating Disorder Treatment help people transcend these barriers and move toward lasting recovery (vs. relapsing)?

a. Weight neutral, holistic care …vs. Weight-based care

b. Weight inclusive framework, including intuitive eating and self-compassion work

c. Intuitive Eating Information can be found at http://www.intuitiveeating.org/

d. A non-discriminative type of care that combats the weight-centered approach. The weight-centered approach utilizes the biased BMI measure and discriminates against those in bigger bodies, often intersecting with race, disability, and gender. HAES works to combat this discriminative care.

Takeaway: Individuals and organizations that align with the HAES movement advocate against weight bias and discrimination in healthcare. This means that not only is HAES is helping individuals with eating disorders, but it is also combating the issues that influence the development of eating disorders.

Resources:

ASDAH = Association for Size Diversity and Health at www.asdah.org

NEDA = National Eating Disorders Association at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

FEAST = Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders at www.feast-ed.org

ANAD = National Association of Anorexia and Associated Disorders at www.anad.org

IAEDP = International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals at www.iaedp.com

Surviving The Chaos of Life - Interview with Charles Smith

Mon, 01 May 2023 15:18:00 -0700

Surviving Chaos - Interview with Charles Smith

Are you interested in having a better quality of life, and yet aren’t ready to see a psychotherapist? If so, join us for a talk with Charles Shaw, who has experienced a LOT of chaos in his life! He offers his stories and a series of self-help books / workbooks which are in the “Life Long Experience” Series.

These books / workbooks help people learn wellness skills: from mental health to safety and security, with topics such as:

Trauma / PTSD

Grief and Loss

Finding Success

Homelessness

Addiction Recovery

Positive Thinking

Survival Skills for Safety at Home, School, and on the Street

In this podcast, Charles tells some of his stories about chaotic life events relating to these topics. He also provides some tips and tools to those who are struggling with these sorts of chaotic life events He offers hope to all generations, but especially the younger generations who are still trying to figure out life as we emerge from the COVID-19 pandemic.

Intro – Tell us about yourself and what drove you to write these books

I. Describe how you were able to overcome obstacles and “flip the chaos,” move past the hard times, survive them and grow stronger

a. Overcoming obstacles – Breathing and Mindfulness

b. Freaking out but staying calm (Flipping the chaos?

c. Moving toward safety in tough times

d. Surviving PTSD

e. Growing Stronger

f. Helping Others

II. Speak to the younger generations and offer them hope, as many of them are

a. Discouraged and hopeless (at the state of the world)

b. Scared about the future (future fears of failure)

c. Overwhelmed (too much stimuli and social media)

d. Checked out (avoiding people and school)

e. Fearful (school and mass shootings)

Website: https://www.lifelongexperience.net/

Books in the Life Long Experience Series - Information on all 7 books can be found here: https://www.lifelongexperience.net/self-help-workbooks

All 7 books are now available as Audiobooks

Amazon Link to books: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Long-Experience-8-book-series/dp/B08RP3P3X7

Social Media Links:

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/lifelongexperience/

YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJeX8zym5bBTcperE4pqxPw

Episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UrlphxCtaZY

Twitter: @author_long

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charles-smith-29681513/

The Dark Voice of Depression

Sat, 22 Apr 2023 08:19:00 -0700

The Dark Voice of Depression - Interview with Pastor Michael Scholtes

Do you struggle with depression, especially during the darker months of the year? And is there some shame that comes with having depression? If so, join us for a talk with Michael Scholtes, who is a Pastor in Pennsylvania who is very open about his struggles with depression, his attempted suicide.

Michael is an ordained Minister in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. He has served in several congregations in Eastern Pennsylvania. He talks with Tracy at Calming the Chaos Podcast about how he has lived with major depressive disorder for most of his life. Michael also shares how he was able to calm the chaos of a lifelong struggle with depression. He also shares with us his writings, sermons, reflections, poems and his new book that was released in 2022 called “Darkwater: A Pastor’s Memoir of Depression and Faith.”

I. Intro – Tell us about yourself as a Pastor who struggles with depression (Candid talk about himself and depression)

II. Michael’s stories of depression

a. When did you realize you had depression (Intro to the “dark voices”)

b. The stigma around being depressed, and being a Pastor

c. What drove you to attempting suicide

III. How Michael moved through his severe depression and attempted suicide

IV. Any tips, tools or techniques that can help anyone in our audience who is struggling with depression and / or suicidal thoughts or urges

a. Embracing the brokenness

b. Remembering God’s promises

c. Calming the stigma of depression

V. Tour of the website / blog at www.thescholtes.com

VI. Social Media Links:

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/DarkwaterAuthor

Twitter: @DarkwaterAuthor

VII. Products / Services

• Michael’s Blog: at www.thescholtes.com

• Michael’s Book “Darkwater: A Pastor’s Memoir of Depression and Faith” at https://thescholtes.com/darkwater-the-book/

o At Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Darkwater-Pastors-Memoir-Depression-Faith-ebook/dp/B0B3LWW9BR/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

o At Barnes & Noble at https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/darkwater-michael-j-scholtes/1141656286?ean=9781633376014

o At Target at https://www.target.com/p/darkwater-by-michael-j-scholtes-paperback/-/A-87451855

• Subscribe to Michael’s Newsletter at https://biblialuna.substack.com/

• Michael can do Public Speaking. Find out more at https://thescholtes.com/speak/

Using Dungeons and Dragons to Calm the Chaos

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 15:51:00 -0700

Dungeons and Dragons – Mental Health Lessons from Playing Online

In this episode, I have edited our livestream done on 3/31/23 to reflect some Mental Health Lessons we learned from playing Dungeons and Dragons online.

In this livestream, we will demonstrate how to handle chaos in a Dungeons and Dragons World! Here are our characters:

Tim - Dungeon Master

Tracy - Anka, a Tiefling

Katie - Edgar, a Sorcerer

Mark - Father Hands, a Cleric

Scott - Owen, a Wizard

Scott and Tracy - Thokk - A Half Ork Fighter

Here are the Mental Health Lessons we learned from Playing Dungeons and Dragons online together

1. Meeting new friends and congregating with old friends

2. Noticing, sensing and listening

3. Assessing obstacles that get in the way of our goals

4. Brainstorming with your friends

5. Be Creative

6. Come up with a plan

7. Not all plans work

8. Have courage

9. Persist

10. There is always another solution

11. Deal with Interruptions

12. Know when to stop, pause and think it over

Thank you to all of my faithful subscribers…old, and new. We appreciate you!

#dungeonsanddragons #dungeonsanddragonsonline #gaming

Chaos in My Brain | Interview with Steve Wilson

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 13:59:00 -0700

Chaos in My Brain – Living with Bipolar Disorder – Interview with Steve Wilson

Bipolar Disorder is a mental health condition / mood disorder that is present in an estimated 4.4% of adults in the United States. Steve Wilson is one of those people. He joins Tracy at Calming the Chaos to talk about what it is like to struggle with Bipolar Disorder using stories from his own life. He also talks about the forms of treatment he has experienced, and about his newly released book called “Teetering on a Tightrope: My Bipolar Journey.”

Intro – Tell us about yourself and about your book

Teetering on a Tightrope, my bipolar journey, is the story of my lifelong battle for balance. For most of my 73 years I have suffered from bipolar disorder. Descending into the depths of suicidal intentions or rising to the high of watching the births of my children, I have endured a roller coaster ride of epic proportions.

Questions

1. When did you first notice some disturbances in your mood?

2. How did you get diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder?

3. In what ways has having Bipolar Disorder affected your major life domains? (such as, physical health, mental / emotional health, social, relationships, vocational / school, legal, etc.) – Some stories here

a. Physical = medication’s effects on kidney; transplant

b. Mental / Emotional = Depression and attempted stabbing of Dad, shame

c. Relationships = Isolation, staying silent

d. Vocational = Not able to keep a job long term

4. How did you seek treatment?

5. Did the treatment work?

6. Suggestions for anyone listening who has Bipolar Disorder

Book Links

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/teetering-on-a-tightrope-steven-w-wilson/1142967489

https://www.amazon.com/Teetering-Tightrope-My-Bipolar-Journey/dp/B0BSRJPNYT

Resources for Bipolar Disorder:

Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call 988

24 Hour Crisis Line: https://www.crisisconnections.org/24-hour-crisis-line/

National Institute of Mental Health (NIH) Suicide Prevention: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention

Lifeline: https://988lifeline.org/chat/

People in Conflict - Interview with Dr. Mahsa Hajat-Khoshniyat

Sun, 26 Mar 2023 14:42:00 -0700

People in Conflict – Interview with Dr. Mahsa Hajat-Khoshniyat

Are you interested in learning about common problems in relationships and how to resolve them? If so, join us for

a talk with Dr. Mahsa Hajat-Khoshniyat, who has her PhD in Social work and is also a practicing Licensed Clinical

Social Worker in Southern California. Dr. Mahsa and I offer our stories of some of the more common relationship

problems we see in our counseling offices.

Intro – Tell us about yourself

Describe how you were able to overcome obstacles

Common relationship problems we see in our counseling practices include:

Breakups

Ghosting

Bullying (in person and on social media)

Infidelity

Disconnection

Aggression / Domineering Behaviors

Political Disagreement

Dr. Mahsa talks specifically about the political events in her home country of Iran. She includes the

history of The government / religious sect / Dictatorship in Iran, arrests and jailing of citizens of Iran

The youth who are rising up and protesting against the systems in place in Iran

New ways of thinking about conflict and resolution, including (but not limited to)

Solutions

Developing resilience

Living up to your personal potential

Strengths and personal power

Transcending trauma

Website tour

Website: https://www.Heal-thrive.com

*ADHD and Life Coach Services at https://www.heal-thrive.com/coaching-services

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PsychotherapyHAT/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healandthrive_pc/

Climate Chaos with Author Lee Schneider

Sat, 18 Mar 2023 16:59:00 -0700

Climate Chaos – Interview with Author Lee Schneider

Are you concerned about the climate crisis in our world, or want to learn more about it? If so, join us for a talk with Lee Schneider, who has written several non-fiction books about how life might look in the future. His latest book Surrender takes place in a future world that struggles to contain climate disaster using global machine governance, a world run by computers and the humans who are both empowered and controlled by them, and where a small band of resisters fight to keep human thought safe and free.

Lee Schneider is the author of screenplays, teleplays, stage plays, short stories, and audio drama podcasts. His thirty-year career in media includes podcast production, documentaries and series with History Channel, Discovery, Court TV, Food Network, Travel Channel, TLC, Dateline NBC and Good Morning America. Surrender is his first published novel. He lives in Santa Monica, California with his family.

I. Intro – Tell us about yourself and your past chaotic history in TV / Film Production

II. How did you get from TV / Film Production to becoming an Author?

III. What got you interested in the “Climate Chaos?”

The Good Ancestor

One Green Thing

Stop Trying to Save the Planet

IV. Speak about “What Really Matters” as it relates to Technology, Climate Crisis and AI

V. Talk about The conflict between internal and external values symbolized by

a. Earth Values (Internal)

b. Technology Values (External)

c. How do you mediate the conflict between both (Calming the Climate Chaos) Or

How do we use Technology without sacrificing our Human Experiences

VI. Any other stories you’d like to tell (i.e., the fires in California, etc)

VII. Other tips, tools or techniques that can help anyone in our audience who is struggling with climate chaos

VIII. Website / Book Tour

IX. Social Media Links:

Lee’s website: https://futurex.studio

Books: https://futurex.studio/books

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Surrender-Lee-Schneider/dp/B0BVPMSPBZ/

Mastodon: https://scicomm.xyz/@docuguy

Instagram: https://instagram.com/docuguy and https://instagram.com/futurex.studio

The FutureX Podcast will be going live next month. Here are some previous podcasts I’ve produced or hosted. https://www.futurex.studio/podcasts

Lee’s list of books he recommends to learn more about the climate crisis: https://bookshop.org/lists/futurex-studio-book-picks

Myths and Facts about Eating Disorders

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 22:24:00 -0700

In honor of the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Eating Disorders Awareness week, I am joined by my colleague and friend Stacy Schilter-Pisano.

Stacy is the site director for The Emily Program in Olympia Washington. Stacy and I are both Certified Eating Disorders Specialist Supervisors, and we are doing this livestream to help you learn more about Eating Disorders and the myths and truths associated with them.

Here are some resources for people who want to learn more about Eating Disorders and Treatment:

The Emily Program https://emilyprogram.com/

Lokahi Counseling Resources Page https://www.lokahicounseling.com/resources/

National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/eatingdisordersawarenessweek

International Association for Eating Disorders Prevention (IAEDP) http://www.iaedp.com/

Poodle Science YouTube Video from Association for Size Diversity and Health (ASDAH)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H89QQfXtc-k

Thanks for listening, and take care!

#EDAW #eatingdisorders #mentalhealth

Man vs. Man - Interview with Brad Mewhort

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 12:18:00 -0700

Man vs. Man – Coping with male-on-male violence with Brad Mewhort

Are you a male who has acted violently toward another male, or has been the recipient of violence from a male? If so, join us for a talk with Brad Mewhort, who has a mission to prevent male-on-male violence and end physical bullying.

Brad teaches and supports men on their healing journeys by facilitating groups and through individual coaching sessions that include body-based healing experiences and contemplative practices. Brad has received extensive training and holds certifications in developmental coaching, somatic practices, group facilitation, and transformative change.

Brad tells about how violent acts such as bullying has affected his own life from an early age, and invites listeners who have been affected by male-on-male violence to use somatic and contemplative practices to heal from such violent experiences. He also shares his book on male-on-male violence called “The Peaceful Man: Heal within Yourself the Personal Effects and Historic Patterns of Male-on-Male Violence.”

I. Intro – Tell us about yourself and how you became interested in the topic of male-on male violence.

II. Give examples of male-on-male violence, and discuss the fact that many men don’t even realize they have been treated violently. Visualize a violence spectrum

III. Talk about Brad’s book “The Peaceful Man” and do a tour of the website

Purpose of the book:

a. To tell Brad’s story focusing on age 13-22

b. Invite readers to consider how violence has affected them

c. Introduce somatic practices at https://www.peacefulmanbook.com/resources.html

d. Introduce contemplative practices at https://www.peacefulmanbook.com/resources.html

IV. Other questions and topics

a. Can a victim of violence become a bully?

b. How or why someone being a victim of violence makes the person more likely to be violent

c. How violence is so often a cycle

d. The importance of men healing within themselves from violence to break the cycles of violence

e. How can we defend ourselves against violence?

V. Other tips, tools or techniques that can help anyone in our audience who is struggling with violence

VI. Contact Brad through his website at www.peacefulmanbook.com

a. On Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Peaceful-Man-Yourself-Male-Male/dp/B0B92G12TB

VII. Social Media Links:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brad-mewhort-554756/

VIII. Products / Services

Inspired Test Prep: http://www.testprep.coach/

Kids in Emotional Chaos - Interview with Dr. Dang

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 16:56:00 -0700

Kids and Emotional Chaos - Interview with Dr. Nghi Dang

Are you concerned about children and their mental health? Do you wonder how you might talk to your children, or children around you about mental health issues and challenges they might be having?

If so, Dr. Nhgi Dang has some valuable information for you!

As a Family Practice Physician, Dr. Dang has seen more and more visits related to mental health during his 10 years of practice. Because of this and his love for his own two children, he was motivated to do something to help educate children and help start a dialogue between parents and children about mental health:

Dr. Dang wrote a series of short stories that will help highlight mental health issues in children.

In this podcast interview, we will talk about the many issues that are affecting the mental health of children today, especially as we continue to move through a global pandemic. We will also discuss some of the ways that parents and kids can talk about these issues and work together to calm their mental and emotional chaos.

I. Intro – Tell us about yourself personally and professionally, including how you got started doing the work you do.

I was born in Vietnam but grew up in Southern California. Our family moved to the states when I was 7 years old. As an immigrant, I shared the same struggles as many other immigrants with adjusting to a new norm and dealing with bullying, discrimination, and constantly having to self-validate while fighting off depression. Having been in practice for over 10 years as a Family Physician, I have realized that my struggles are shared by many of my patients.

II. Tell us in more detail how you became interested in mental health issues in children

III. Describe some of the mental health issues that are concerning to children today (tour of the website and books)

a. Bullying

b. Learning Disabilities

c. Making Friends

d. Academic success / pressure / competition

e. Stage Fright / panic / performance anxiety

f. Divorce

g. Arguments with parents about friends and sneaking out, getting caught

h. Online games and new online friends

i. Illness and death of a loved one

IV. What sorts of tips and tools in general do you have for kids and parents when a kid is experiencing a mental health issue?

V. Social Media Links and any Products and Services Dr. Dang has to offer

www.theadventuresofmaxandfirends.org

Therapists Who Had Disordered Eating

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 08:14:00 -0700

Working with Chaos - Interview with Maria Rippo

Are you interested in how Therapists who have had Eating Disorders can successfully treat clients who struggle with Eating Disorders? If so, join us for a talk with Maria Rippo, who is a Psychotherapist, Holistic Coach and Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist. Maria specializes in treating people who have experienced Eating Disorders, trauma and other challenges of being human. Maria is joining Calming the Chaos Podcast today to talk about how her own disordered relationship with food and her body helped her provide therapy for those experiencing similar struggles.

I. Intro – Tell us about yourself and how you got started doing the work you do.

II. Let’s talk about Eating Disorders: What caused you to go in the direction of treating individuals who struggle with food, eating and body image, when that’s what you have struggled with

III. Tell us a bit about how you treat those who struggle with food, eating and body image (Treatment modalities, including hypnotherapy)

IV. The Victim Triangle for Disordered Eating (Tracy’s creation)

V. Tour of Maria’s website at http://www.mariarippo.com/

VI. Products / Services

• Maria’s Blog Talk Radio “Enlighten Me” at https://www.blogtalkradio.com/enlightenmeradio

• Recipes at http://www.mariarippo.com/blogrecipes

• Mindfulness Based Eating Awareness Training 11/13/22 at http://www.mariarippo.com/mb-eat.html

• Private Coaching at http://www.mariarippo.com/private-coaching.html

Why Does Mindfulness Work, Anyway?

Sun, 04 Dec 2022 16:48:00 -0700

Use Mindfulness to Calm your Chaos - Interview with Dr. Vic Manzo

Are you interested in how to stay calm when life throws your curveballs….or hurricanes? If so, join us for a talk with Dr. Vic Manzo, who is a Spiritual / Business Mindset Coach, Pediatric Chiropractor, Podcaster and Author.

Dr. Vic has learned how to rebalance his emotions, shift his mindset and manage the chaos in his life by utilizing a variety of mindfulness practices. Listen as Dr. Vic shares his story, and tells us from a neuroscience perspective how practicing mindfulness regularly can help keep you calm during moments of chaos.

I. Intro – Tell us about yourself and how you got started doing the work you do.

a. Energy healing, Quantum Physics, Ancient Wisdom and Chiropractic

b. Mindfulness and WHY does it help

II. Tell us in more detail how you began studying mindfulness

III. Describe how mindfulness works in the physiological brain and body from a Neuroscience perspective

IV. Can you share with us some mindfulness practices we can start doing to help calm our minds?

a. Also, how do these specific mindfulness practices work in the body’s physiology from a Neuroscience perspective

V. Do you have any words of inspiration for those who may be hesitant to start doing mindfulness practices?

VI. Tour of Dr. Vic’s website at www.EmpowerYourReality.com

VII. Products and Services Dr. Vic has to offer

a. Sign up for a FREE 30 Minute Discovery Call or download the first chapter of my new book for Free

www.EmpowerYourReality.com

b. Podcast: www.TheMindfulExperiment.com

VIII. Social Media Links:

a. Facebook: www.Facebook.com/drvicmanzo

b. Instagram: www.Instagram.com/drvicmanzo

c. TikTok: www.TikTok.com/@drvicmanzo

d. LinkedIn: www.LinkedIn.com/in/drmanzo

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Ou6W-hYk0M4xvR-QfESr3ZDLOR--kLfp?usp=sharing

Notable Timestamps:

2:39 Dr. Vic Intro:

4:43 Intro to Mindfulness and what it is

9:47 Tracy Gets frustrated

11:20 From a Neurological perspective, here’s how Mindfulness can help

12:28 The Amygdala

15:47: What the brain does when you practice Mindfulness

Shrinking the pathway to the Amygdala

Widening the path to the Pre-frontal Cortex

If people are resistant to doing mindfulness:

18:00 Practice Mindfulness doing what you normally do each day

18:48: What do we have to do? Think of that. Then….do it mindfully!

10 long, slow deep breaths to re-set the nervous system

Set an alarm for 5 times per day to take these 10 deep breaths

In through the nose, out through the mouth

20:38 Eating Mindfully – Dr. Vic has difficulty doing it but he is trying!

22:51: Dr. Vic: “How much in our lives are we missing because we’re not being mindful?”

24:22: When people with ADHD think “Mindfulness will not work for me”

25:51: Meditation takes it to another level, and the blessings of ADHD

26:41: Tracy’s “Bulls and Butterflies” analogy of sensitivity and ADHD

29:49: Dr. Vic cracks the code with his Matrix book and the collective consciousness

Dr. Vic Narrates his own books! Some of them are free with an Audible Trial

34:05: Dr. Vic quotes the Dalai Lama on meditation

37:00 Dr. Vic’s 2 podcasts

38:45 Dr. Vic explains his “quizzical look” on his website

39:44 Dr. Vic offers a free 30 minute consult

40:00 Dr. Vic’s wife and his dog

42:35 Be patient with mindfulness….it’s a practice. “Show up, even when you don’t want to”

It will help you in so many ways….just try it!

Eat Mindfully Through the Holidays

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 16:47:00 -0700

Introduction: At the end of my last video, which was a rerun from last year 2021, my pie-eating footage was lost, and I couldn’t show you all how to do mindful eating.

However….we have one piece of pie left from Thanksgiving this year, in 2022. So I thought I would take this last piece of pie and show you how to do Mindful Eating.

First, let me share with you:

1. The definition of Mindfulness I like is: Purposefully and intentionally being aware of the present moment, including your surroundings, your thoughts, feelings, body sensations and behavioral urges, in a non-judgmental way. Noticing when your mind wanders to the past or the future, or from anything that is not right in front of you, and gently bringing it back to what’s going on right now.

2. So for example: Toothbrushing / Coffee Driniking

3. My next podcast interview is with Dr. Vic Manzo. “In that episode, (In this episode), Dr. Manzo talks about the science behind why mindfulness works in your physical brain, how it can help you calm your chaos, and also provides some of his own practices that he uses himself and with his clients.

The benefits of mindfulness I have personally experienced

a. Improved focus, concentration and mental clarity

b. Regular mindfulness practices…even 5-10 minutes per day can help prevent you from becoming overwhelmed, and stay calm during any chaos you might have, and can help you behave with more emotional control.

Introduce Dr. Vic Manzo Podcast

4. Mindful eating You can do mindful eating like you would do any other mindfulness practice: by being aware of our hunger / fullness, and use all of our senses to fully be in the present moment with our food. We can also notice any thoughts, feelings, judgments and behaviors, and then gently turn our focus and attention back to what we are eating.

First, the Brief Version

1. Slow down. Take a few breaths to become present.

2. Check in on your hunger and fullnesss (scale)

3. Observe the food, and notice any thoughts, feelings or judgments you have when looking at your food

5. Consider how that food was prepared, how it got to you, what went into making it, and then feel a sense of gratitude and appreciation for the food.

6. Enjoy your food with all your senses.

• Feast your eyes visually on the food. Notice color, texture, shape.

• Smell the food, breathing in the aroma, noticing the nuances with both nostrils.

• Taste the food, first savoring without chewing it, noticing the flavor, texture, and sensations.

• Then chew the food, staying as present as possible with each bite to fully enjoy the experience.

• Mindfully swallow when ready.

7. Taste. Pay attention to what you notice. Enjoyable or not. What am I noticing? Thoughts? Feelings? Pause.

8. Check in with hunger and fullness levels occasionally throughout the snack or meal. Remember the hunger and fullness scale, and use this as a guide as you continue eating.

Here's the link to the Hunger and Fullness Scale:

https://www.riversidecorporatewellness.com/single-post/mindful-eating-series-how-to-use-the-hunger-fullness-scale

#mindfulness #mindfuleating #pumpkinpie

Eating Disorders - Are you Brave Enough To Treat Them? | Interview with Katie Lear

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 16:09:00 -0700

The Chaos of Treating Eating Disorders - Interview with Katie Lear

Are you interested in how Therapists treat clients who struggle with Eating Disorders, and why some Therapists hesitate to treat them? If so, join us for a talk with Katie Lear, who is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in North Carolina and is a Registered Drama Therapist and Registered Play Therapist.

Katie will offer some information about why she is hesitant to treat Eating Disorders, and Tracy will offer some resources for Katie and all therapists to calm any chaos they might have about treating individuals who struggle with Eating Disorders.

Katie combines research-based coping skills with creative play to help tween girls live better lives with anxiety and OCD. She uses Dungeons and Dragons as part of her therapy with children, and when she's not counseling, you can find her playing Dungeons & Dragons with middle schoolers through her sister business, Young Dragonslayers.

I. Intro – Tell us about yourself and how you got started doing the work you do.

II. Oh…and what about D&D?

III. Let’s talk about Eating Disorders, and the reasons why you hesitate to treat individuals who struggle with food, eating and body image.

IV. Katie’s Fears about treating Eating Disorders

Fears about practicing outside of my scope

A lack of knowledge: we covered eating disorders for less than one class period in my graduate program's abnormal psych class.

We were essentially told "Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental health diagnosis" and not much else.

A fear of unintentionally causing physical harm to a client

A sense of pressure (or perceived pressure) from the therapist community that treating ED requires extensive additional training. (Say more about this, Katie)

A lack of general awareness. In my experience disordered eating is rarely included in case vignettes, roleplays, licensure exams, or other ways that therapists train.

It feels as though the message I've gotten is "this is not for you."

V. Tour of the website at https://www.katielear.com/

VI. Products / Services

• Katie’s Book: “A Parent’s Guide to Managing Childhood Grief” at https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Katie-Lear/190548524

• Katie’s D&D Group: Kids and teens use the creativity and structure of Dungeons and Dragons to forge meaningful friendships through online gaming at https://www.youngdragonslayers.com/

Additional information: Katie’s first book, A Parent's Guide to Managing Childhood Grief, was published in July by Adams Media and Simon & Schuster, and was recently featured in the New York Times. Her writing and commentary on children's mental health has appeared in Parents Magazine, Business Insider, and National Geographic, as well as on websites like WebMD and Healthline.

Free Eating Disorder Consult Groups for Therapists

Center for Discovery – Contact Clacy Albert at clacy.albert@centerfordiscovery.com

The Emily Program – Contact Katie Sherpe at Katie.Sherpe@emilyprogram.com

Free Eating Disorder Support Groups for Clients

Center for Discovery https://centerfordiscovery.com/blog/online-eating-disorder-support-groups/

The Emily Program https://www.emilyprogram.com/for-families/support-for-families/

Alsana https://www.alsana.com/programs/online-support-group/

ED Referral https://www.edreferral.com/support-groups-free

Eating Disorders over 30 https://www.facebook.com/groups/EDsover40/

Eating Disorders Support Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/745696442128289/

Treatment Centers for Higher Levels of Care

ACUTE https://www.acute.org/

Ai Pono https://www.aipono.com/

Alsana https://www.alsana.com/

Center for Discovery https://centerfordiscovery.com/

Center for Change https://centerforchange.com/

Eating Recovery Center https://www.eatingrecoverycenter.com/

Monte Nido https://www.montenido.com/

Opal https://www.opalfoodandbody.com/

Rogers https://rogersbh.org/resources/eating-disorder-recovery-residential-care-q-continuum-care

Rosewood Ranch https://www.rosewoodranch.com/

The Meadows Ranch https://www.meadowsranch.com/

The Emily Program https://www.emilyprogram.com/

Timberline Knolls https://www.timberlineknolls.com/

#dungeonsanddragons #anxiety #teenagers

Domestic Violence - My Dance with Abuse and Chaos

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 17:26:00 -0700

If you or someone you know is a potential victim of Domestic Violence, please confront them and / or call 911 for help.

Here is the link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

800-799-7233

Articles:

10 Ways to prevent Domestic Violence Article Link

https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/ending-domestic-violence/10-ways-you-can-help-prevent-domestic-violence-where-you-live

20 Ways to prevent Domestic Violence Article Link

https://www.marriage.com/advice/domestic-violence-and-abuse/ways-of-domestic-violence-prevention/

The CDC Article on Domestic Violence

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/featuredtopics/intimate-partner-violence.html

Take care! And feel free to contact me at calmingthec@gmail.com if you have any questions or concerns!

#domesticviolence #domesticviolenceawareness #relationship

Chaos and The Disability System

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 11:44:00 -0700

Calming the Chaos of the Disability System – Interview with Spencer Bishins

Do you have a disability and want to know more about how the disability system in the United States works? If so, you’ll want to listen to this interview with Spencer Bishins, who has worked with Social Security Administration (SSA) for more than 10 years.

Spencer has worked at the SSA Appeals Council and has reviewed thousands of disability decisions for compliance with the SSA’s complex rules and procedures. He has also worked at the hearing level where he drafted almost 2,000 decisions for SSA Administrative Law Judges.

Spencer has a Masters Degree from the London School of Economics, and a law degree from Florida State University. He wrote his first book, Social Security Disability Revealed: Why it’s so hard to access benefits and what you can do about it. His wish is to help people demystify the complicated disability system in the United States. Spencer joins Calming the Chaos podcast to share important information with our listeners about himself, accessing SSA disability benefits, and to talk about his book.

• Intro – Tell us about yourself and how you got started doing the work you do

• Let’s talk about the chaos people experience when they are applying for Disability benefits from the SSA

• Talking Points

• How do you know what evidence of disability you need? What do you need to prove?

• How do you find a representative to help you?

• What if your claim can't result in a fee for the representative, will they refuse to take your case?

• Why are so many people denied when they first apply?

• What happens at a hearing? Why are there people talking about you who have never met you? How do they know if you can work?

• If you are denied, how do you appeal?

• Wait a second, if you are approved, can that be taken away even if you never appealed?

• Tour of Spencer’s website

• Spencer’s Book: “Social Security Disability Revealed: Why it’s so hard to access benefits and what you can do about it.”

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Social-Security.../dp/B0B5PQ6ZYD

Social Media Links:

Website: www.bishinspublishing.com

Facebook @bishinspublishing

Instagram @bishinspublishing

Twitter @bishinspub

Inner Peace from Outer Chaos

Sun, 09 Oct 2022 21:39:00 -0700

Inner Peace in Outer Chaos – Interview with Sue Corl – For National Domestic Violence Awareness

If you are interested in learning how women around the world can cope with the most oppressive situations where they are impoverished, abused or neglected, this podcast interview will provide enlightenment, hope and help to those who want to transcend oppression and move toward inner peace.

Sue Corl is an International Women’s Conference Speaker, Author, Mentor, and Missionary with a Masters Degree in Education and a Masters Degree in Christian Counseling. Sue is the Founder / Director of Crown of Beauty International. She served as a Missionary for 25 years in Asia, and she is the author of several books. Currently, she travels to speak and help women throughout Asia, Africa, the Middle East and the United States.

Sue has a passion to see women set free to live in freedom from within, and uses a spiritual framework to help women around the world find peace under oppressive circumstances.

I. Intro to Sue: Sue’s Story – how did you come to do the work you do now?

II. Sue shares about the types of women who struggle with oppression around the world

a. Who are they?

b. What are they struggling with (examples)

c. What do you typically tell them?

d. What do they learn from you?

III. Any tips or techniques for women who are struggling and feeling oppressed

IV. Tour of the website / Products and services you’d like to promote

a. Website

b. Podcast “His Heartbeat”

c. “List of Lies about self and God” (on website, under “More Resources)

d. Books

i. Crown of Beauty – Twelve Week Bible Study

ii. For Such a Time as This

iii. Broken but Undefeated

e. Workshops, retreats, speaking engagements and other promotions

V. Closing comments

Social Media Links:

Website: https://CrownofBeautyInternational.com/

Podcast: “His Heartbeat” with Sue Corl at https://www.crownofbeautyinternational.com/podcast-1

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CrownofBeautyInternational/

Instagram: @crownofbeauty_international

Notable Timestamps:

2:30 Sue’s background, travels and beginning work with women who were community leaders and struggling with issues like anxiety, anger, depression, marital issues, troubles with their children, etc. And how she began to work with their core beliefs so that they could change the way they feel about themselves.

7:12: Sue helps people identify:

The most common lies that people believe about themselves.

What their struggles are

What painful emotions they are going through, and when they first started feeling the emotions (early conclusions)

Checking the facts about their beliefs, helping them to see the truth about themselves, replacing the lies

11:49: Asking, “Are your beliefs truthful and helpful to you?”

12:23: “Protective Behaviors” are used to protect us so that we won’t have to go through hurt or pain again.

13:16: Sue’s work in very impoverished areas and “A poverty mentality” and reversing that mentality by seeing situations and circumstances in a different way, and by finding purpose and meaning in life.

16:33: Sue’s story that inspires women around the world to believe in miracles, and to open up and start talking about their own struggles

27:24: Sue speaks about how she works with women who have relationship oppression, abuse and neglect

28:45: What if you don’t believe in God? Sue can still teach people boundaries, and that you are beautiful, forgiven, valuable and loved. “You are a valuable person.” And so with abuse / neglect, if it happens, Sue helps people to remember these truths about themselves, stand up for themselves and speak their truth.

32:00: When a culture prevents a woman from leaving a relationship

35:00: “When a woman changes and sees herself with more respect, often the man changes too.”

37:00: Thoughts on suicide

38:24: Another cool story from Sue –

Thailand refugees from Burma, suicidality

40:55: Spiritual Inspiration

42:24: Another story about our amazing potential as humans. People are amazing and creative whoever and whatever they look like, and you have something amazing to bring others!

Calm your Financial Chaos with Sarry Ibrihim

Sun, 18 Sep 2022 14:04:00 -0700

Calm Your Financial Chaos - Interview with Sarry Ibrihim

Are you interested in learning more about how to grow safe and predictable wealth? If so, join us for a talk with Sarry Ibrihim, and learn how to calm your financial chaos!

Sarry is a Financial Consultant with an MBA from Keller Graduate School of Management. He is the founder of Financial Asset Protection, which is an organization that helps you build safe and predictable wealth. Sarry has helped people and organizations create sources of financing and grow safe and predictable wealth. He offers a free e-book called “Thinking Like a Bank,” and is the host of a podcast called “Thinking like a Bank,” which is also available on YouTube as well as all other podcast sites.

I. Intro – Tell us about yourself and how you got started doing the work you do

II. Let’s talk about financial chaos in the world today. Here are some scenarios people are facing today:

Spectrum (from worst to best)

1. Homeless

2. Unemployed

3. Poverty

4. Unable to go to college

5. Not making a living wage

6. Living with parents

7. Single parent

8. Credit card debt

9. Unable to buy a house

10. Planning for Retirement

III. Tour of the websites

IV. Book “Thinking Like a Bank” for free on Sarry’s Website at https://finassetprotection.com

Social Media Links:

Podcast Website: https://thinkinglikeabank.com/

Business Website: https://finassetprotection.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwasIgJYLJwnyANE1iWN3XQ/videos

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thinkinglikeabank/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarry-ibrahim-mba-ltcp-bank-on-you/

Season 3 Recap - Calming the Chaos

Sun, 29 May 2022 14:42:00 -0700

Season 3 Podcast Recap

Thank you for listening to Calming the Chaos Podcast in 2021 -2022, my third season of podcasting.

In this podcast episode, I will give you a recap of all podcast interviews I’ve done in my third season of podcasting.

If you’d like to check out the full interviews, please do so by accessing my YouTube channel at

https://www.youtube.com/c/CalmingTheChaos/videos

You can also access all of Season 3 Calming the Chaos podcast episodes at: www.calmingthechaospodcast.com

Also, if you are aspiring Podcaster, check out www.podmatch.com to create a free profile, and get connected with amazing podcast guests like I did in Season 3 of Calming the Chaos Podcast.

Notable Timestamps:

Dr. Victoria Shaw 1:43

Ben Killoy 3:26

Debs & Georgie – Heart Core Warriors 5:27

Dr. Matt Goldenberg 7:27

Katherine Marie 9:40

Sarah Falk 11:23

Laura Folkes 13.46

Leslie Davis 15.27

Anita Johnston 17:40

Don & Hutch – CPR Friendly 21:19

Jozlyn and Frankie – Keeping up with Chaos 23:14

Dr. Lise DeGuire 25:38

Dr. Robert Saul 28:00

Robert Kittridge 29:25

Lauren Dreher 31:13

Adele Wang 33:07

Vivian Cobb 34:52

Dr. Verena Radlingmayr 37:27

Dave Combs 39:30

Dr. Melissa Reilly 42:17

Kimberly Keane 44:52

Extras:

YouTube Review of Dr. Shannon Curry’s Expert Witness Testimony in the Depp v. Heard court case at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN0Tidu2Q5g&t=2635s

YouTube Review of Dr. Dawn Hughes’ Expert Witness Testimony in the Depp v. Heard court case at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsBH6zwLyIk&t=3s

My appearances on Ken’s Counseling Couch on YouTube at this channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/KensCounselingCouch/videos

5/8/22 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPfTrShuCgQ&t=12830s Timestamp 1:43:24

5/15/22 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdDEe7P8w-k&t=12285s Timestamp 25:07

Aydin Palladin’s YouTube channels

@Aydin Paladin

https://www.youtube.com/c/AydinPaladin

https://youtube.com/c/BrokenCrownPodcast

49:00 – The future of Calming the Chaos, thanks to subscribers, and let me know what you would like me to cover over the summer and into the next podcasting season.

Thank you so much for listening, and take care!

Court Chaos with Depp vs. Heard

Sun, 29 May 2022 09:53:00 -0700

This is a (hopefully) brief livestream to let you know my thoughts and observations about the mental health aspects of the Johnny Depp / Amber Heard Trial for this week.

This will include the testimonies of Dr. Dawn Hughes and Amber Heard.

My main objective is to give you some analysis on Dr. Hughes' presentation as an expert witness for the defense (Amber Heard). I will also offer some tips, tools and techniques for you to use for self-care if you have been emotionally affected by any of Amber Heard's testimony.

Resources: National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

National Institute of Mental Health - Coping with Traumatic Events https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/coping-with-traumatic-events

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills for Distress and Self-Care

TIPP: More information at https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp/

Self-Soothe with 6 Senses at https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/self-soothing/

PLEASE Skill for self-Care: https://dbt.tools/emotional_regulation/abc-please.php

Self-Care and other resources can be found at https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/

Take care! #amberheard #johnnydepp #selfcare

The Chaos of Being a Mom!

Sat, 07 May 2022 21:15:00 -0700

The Chaos of Being a Mom – Interview with Kimberly Keane

Kim Keane is a certified life coach, Reiki and IET practitioner, and podcaster.

Kim has addressed community organizations, schools and colleges, such as Boys’ and Girls’ Club and Purdue University as well as women’s groups,

such as Polka Dot Powerhouse and Moms Who Dare.

She strives to empower women to embrace who they are so they can be and do all that they aspire to.

Kim is here on Calming the Chaos podcast to talk about specific challenges and chaos of being a Mom in today’s world, and offer Moms some ways to become empowered, embrace who they are and be and do all that they aspire to do in their lives. Let’s honor our Moms on Mother’s Day!

Notable Timestamps:

2:25 to 4:42 - Introduction to Kim

You can do energy healing, including Reiki ONLINE!

6:09 – Addressing the most common concerns Moms have in today’s world

Mom Guilt – The expectation that we have to “do it all” and “to the highest standards”

Unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, comparing yourself with others

How Moms experience both guilt and shame

Guilt – “I’ve done something wrong”

Shame – “I am something wrong”

8:30 – How do we help Moms get through “Mom Guilt”

• Find out where the guilt comes from – “Who is telling me that I’m not doing Motherhood right?”

• Identifying the “made-up stories” you tell yourself about how good of a Mom you are

• Noticing how you compare yourself to other Moms, and finding yourself lacking

• Letting go of comparisons with realistic thinking – you never know what is happening in other families

• Therapy can help you learn to notice what your body feels like when you feel the guilt

• Notice and identify the triggers, perceptions in your mind

• Checking the facts – separating the truth from the “made up stories.” Putting your Guilt on Trial

• Identify your values and separate them from other Mom’s values – Live in alignment with YOUR values

15:00 – The working Moms and the Stay-at-home Mom have the same struggle

• Setting up a routine is important – plan out your time and set boundaries with family members

• “I need your help, children / partner”

• Relinquish control

• The whole family gets used to a new routine

17:19 – 19:00 Kim’s routine she set for herself and how her family has cooperated with her!

19:18 – Kim answers Tracy’s follow up questions:

1. How do you get your kids / partner to understand why a plan is so important?

2. How do you convince them to cooperate with you?

Time Management

23:00 - How did Kim become so good at time management? www.flylady.net

• Focus on fewer tasks in a bullet journal (she found them on Pinterest)

• Finding pockets of time during the day for tasks

The Pandemic

26:00 As we’re shifting out of it, some Moms are getting judged and / or criticized others or self

29:30 – Dealing with ALL of the critics (others and self) and remembering your values, using intuition

School Violence / Bullying / The School System / Conflict

32:36 – Understanding all of the possible reasons why a person might bully others, all the dynamics, and understanding who they are individually, what values they stand for, so that they don’t become bullies

34:47 – Identify feelings and asking adults and others for help

35:00 – 38:30 What if YOUR kid is the bully? (Discipline and communication tips from Kim) – Getting to the root and both parents and kids make adjustments.

Divorce

39:04 - How Kim works with Moms who are considering divorce or who are divorced

“What’s the motivation for leaving or staying?” “Is it a healthy motivation?”

Social Media

40:42 – Kim’s suggestions to Moms who are struggling with their kids’ use of social media

“It’s not about not trusting you….it’s about ensuring that you are safe.”

Setting standards in accordance with your values, using a timer and time limits

43:43 – Kim’s website tour, talking about her podcast, her blog and social media links

Website: www.kimkeane.com

Podcast: “One of a Kind You” at https://www.kimkeane.com/oneofakindyou

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimvkeane/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimvkeane

TikTok: @kimvkeane

50:08 – Kim’s parting thoughts for Moms: “Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace and compassion, like you would give your best friend.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

Marital Chaos - Amber and Johnny

Mon, 02 May 2022 19:48:00 -0700

Join me in this livestream as I respond to what I've been seeing online in the dual-defamation lawsuit between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

I will also present my own experience with the Assessment that was given to Amber Heard (The MMPI) which has its benefits and drawbacks.

I will then present an alternative way of looking at Johnny and Amber (and all people) as human beings. I will also suggest some ways how we as human beings can learn to understand and relate to each other as human beings.

My ultimate goal is to help people learn to transcend abusive behaviors and to treat each other with kindness, compassion and understanding.

Some of the Legal Channels I like on YouTube with commentary by lawyers to watch this trial:

Legal Bytes at https://www.youtube.com/c/LegalBytesMedia

Rekieta Law at https://www.youtube.com/c/RekietaLaw

Uncivil Law at https://www.youtube.com/c/UncivilLaw

Emily Baker at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheEmilyDBaker

If you'd just like to watch the trial without commentary, you can access this:

Law and Crime Network at https://www.youtube.com/c/LawCrimeNetwork

Some of my favorite Mental Health Channels that are covering this trial:

Dr. Grande at https://www.youtube.com/c/ToddGrande

Dr. Kirk Honda - Psychology in Seattle at https://www.youtube.com/c/PsychologyInSeattle

Other great Mental Health channels:

Patrick Teahan, LICSW - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbWvYupGqq3aMJ6LsG4q-Yg

Anna Runkle - The Crappy Childhood Fairy at https://www.youtube.com/c/CrappyChildhoodFairy

Emma McAdam - Therapy in a Nutshell at https://www.youtube.com/c/TherapyinaNutshell

If you are interested in reading the MMPI Test Questions (yes...all 567 of them!) here is a link to view them: https://psychtest.net/mmpi-test-questions/

The "Gold Standard" Treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Find out more about DBT and the developer Marsha Linehan at https://behavioraltech.org/about-us/

#amberheard #johnnydepp #borderline

Mother's Day Chaos

Sun, 01 May 2022 20:55:00 -0700

Moms without Moms – Calming the Chaos on Mother’s Day - Interview with Melissa Reilly

Dr. Melissa Reilly is a clinical psychologist, a parent coach, and a Mom of two boys. She obtained her Doctor of Psychology from University of Hartford in 1999 and has been a licensed psychologist in the state of Pennsylvania for 22 years. She is also the cofounder of Shoudt & Reilly Psychological Services where she has a thriving clinical practice.

Melissa is passionate about helping Moms who have been separated from their Moms….either by physical distance, estrangement, or death. She helps Moms without Moms move from feelings of insecurity, isolation, overwhelm, and feelings of grief to a place of resilience as part of their motherhood experience.

Melissa believes it isn’t knowledge and skills that create resilience, but rather it is born through a unique method she has developed, and which she describes on this Calming the Chaos podcast. Melissa also describes some coping strategies you can this Mother’s Day if you are without your Mom.

Introduction to Melissa

Timestamp 5:41 – Melissa’s story about being a Mom without a Mom, and what brought her to do the work she does helping Moms without Moms

Ways to help Moms without Moms develop resilience

1. Overcoming Hardship

2. Having a community

Timestamp 15:00 – How to create a community and asking them for help

The basics of community

• The Wise Woman

• The Emotional Supporter

• The “Go Getter”

• The “Late Night Talker

Timestamp 18:51 – “A funny story” from Melissa about having a community, asking for help

3. Living by your values

Timestamp 26:00 – Melissa talks about values, activities you can do to develop them, and values in parenting

4. Melissa’s tips for everyone, including Moms, who are without their Moms this Mother’s Day

Timestamp 31:42 – Melissa’s advice to Moms without Moms on Mother’s Day and other Holidays

• Give yourself permission to grieve, plan out a tribute to honor your Mom

• Honor yourself as a Mother on Mother’s Day

• Re-focus on the here and now

Timestamp 36:00 – Tracy introduces a way to regain connection to those we’ve lost connection with through an ancient Hawaiian practice called Ho’oponopono

5. Website and Social Media Links (Timestamp 38:13)

Website: https://www.momswithoutamom.com/

Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/momswithoutamom/

https://www.facebook.com/Dr.MelissaReilly

https://www.tiktok.com/@momswithoutamom

6. Products / Services / Promotions Enjoy Being a Mom Again Quick Guide: https://www.momswithoutamom.com/enjoy-motherhood-again-guide

Care For Yourself While You Care For Your Baby Guide: https://melissareillypsyd.lpages.co/bonding-with-baby-while-caring-for-yourself-opt-in

Schedule a complimentary coaching call: https://MelissaReillyPsyD-MomsWithoutAMom.as.me/free-coaching-call

Timestamp 41:15 – Melissa’s final tips

Music Calms your Chaos!

Sun, 17 Apr 2022 14:36:00 -0700

Calming the Chaos with Music - Interview with Dave Combs

Dave Combs is a songwriter, entrepreneur and author of the best selling book “Touched by the Music.” In his book, Dave Combs describes his amazing journey through life from a collection of his own inspiring stories.

Over the past four decades he has written over 120 songs and created fifteen albums of soothing, relaxing instrumental piano music, including the popular standard, Rachel’s Song. His music has been played millions of times on radio, satellite, and all internet streaming media.

Dave is here today on Calming the Chaos to describe what a powerful resource music can be to help you calm any chaos you might be experiencing in your life.

1. Introduction to Dave

2. The Random and Chaotic Events in the world today (some ideas)

a. A 2-year Pandemic

b. The Ukraine-Russia War

c. The Chaos of Income Taxes

3. Prescriptions from Dave: How music can help us find peace in a chaotic world

4. Rachel’s Song and other peaceful musical creations 5. Dave’s Stories from Listeners

Notable Timestamps

37:04 - A Musical Prescription for coping with the Pandemic

43:00 - Calming, Soothing music at Dave's YouTube Channel "Long Playing Music" at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et8fB...

44:16: Dave's Prescription for Ukraine to calm the chaos

46:54 - Your Free link to "Rachel's Song"

47:55 - The Book “Touched by the Music” (Audible actually has Dave's Narration!)

49:45 - If you'd like the sheet music to play Dave's songs, go to Sheet Music Plus at https://www.sheetmusicplus.com/search...

52:17 - Celebrate Freedom was created after 9/11/01, and a fund was created to help students get a scholarship for 27 students at Lake Forest University for free!

54:17 - Play an instrument to calm your chaos (even play the spoons, right, J.D.?)

56:00 - Dave's prescription for Tracy to calm her Tax Chaos - Album "Beautiful Thoughts"

5. Website: www.combsmusic.com

6. Social Media Links Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TouchedByThe... LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dave-comb... YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/combsmusic

7. Products / Services / Promotions https://www.amazon.com/Touched-Music-...

8. Jack Canfield interviews Dave https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kvpM... #davecombsmusic #jackcanfield #calmingmusic

Chaos Around The World with Verena Radlingmayr

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 14:59:00 -0700

Chaos Around the World - Interview with Verena Radlingmayr

Verena Radlingmayr has a diverse body of education, training and experience… from Law and Quantum Physics, to Holistic Therapies and Neurolinguistic Programming for Children. She joins Calming the Chaos Podcast from Vienna, Austria to offer her insights about the unexpected, random and chaotic events that are occurring in the world today, and the psychological impact these events have on the people she treats. Verena also offers some tips and tools that can help people of all ages calm their chaos.

Verena works online and internationally with people and helps them find direction in life through identifying their strengths, values and developing resilience through chaos. Verena’s work is built up on the belief that your core values play a major role in achieving whatever you really want in life. Verena’s values of courage, strength, resilience and hope can help you transcend the images you see of destruction, desolation, sadness and loss, and can help you find your way through dark and chaotic times, and into a brighter future.

Notable timestamps:

3:20 - How Verena got to where she is today

5:25 - Ooops..I am not meant for a career in law

6:10 - Quantum physics

9:00 - I did well, listened to my gut

12:55 - Use your transferable skills!

17:04 - There is a lot of chaos in the world today! Pandemic Overly Tired Exhausted

21:20: Developing Resilience

24:25 Universal core values, 1) kindness and 2) Protection of nature

This is what the children want: “A kind world that respects and cares for nature”

32:00 Reduce the time you spend with news – limit your exposure to it so that you are well rested and less stressed

36:35 Our prayers for all of Europe

37:30 – Learn to appreciate what you have each day

43:17 – Explore your own values by creating a “Values Map”

45:35 – Have more fun in your life

46:00 – We have more in common with each other than we don’t

48:00 – “Carefrontation” Perhaps a German version of this word?

Verena’s Social Media Links:

facebook.com/dr.verena.radlingmayr

instagram@dr.verenaradlingmayr

www.verenaradlingmayr.com

Email Tracy at Calming the Chaos at calmingthec@gmail.com

#warinukraine #childrenandvalues #positivityintheworld

Chaos and Emotions - Interview with Vivian Cobb

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 13:39:00 -0700

Chaos and Emotions - Interview with Vivian Cobb

Calming the Chaos welcomes Vivian Cobb, Author and Keynote speaker. She empowers her audience to embrace emotions, to “get unstuck,” and thrive in life! Vivian was a speaker at the September 25, 2021 TEDx Manitou Springs event, where she talked about how Negativity Clouds Truth. Vivian helps people “lean into their emotions” when chaos presents itself in life, and offers some tips, tools and techniques for those who wish to “get unstuck” from their lives.

Notable timestamps:

3:49 – The lack of snow in December causes Vivian some chaos

4:47 – Vivian talks about embracing your emotions

8:23 – We relate to each other through our emotions

19:13 – Tracy talks about being labeled a “Worry Wart” as a child

21:00 – Finding the right people to be around

21:55 – On the importance of stillness and listening!

27:00 – On the importance of grief, loss and leaning into your emotions

31:00 – What happens when people “leave you on read”

33:00 – Use your age as a motivator to change

35:00 – Information about emotions such as anger, depression and all sorts of other information

40:30 – “Everything is energy.”

Be grateful for what you have….we can be here for each other through chaos!

Find out more about Vivian from her website at https://www.viviancobbspeaking.com

Vivian’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBwnGvxxy34v9TaaibsWjfQ/videos

Vivian’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/viviancobbspeakingandrealestate/

Vivian’s Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/viviancobbspeaking

Contact Vivian at: https://www.viviancobbspeaking.com/site/contact

Get a Free Gift from Vivian at: https://www.viviancobbspeaking.com/freegift

Email Tracy at Calming the Chaos at calmingthec@gmail.com

Use Your Energy to Calm Your Chaos!

Sat, 05 Mar 2022 11:56:00 -0700

Use your Energy to Calm Your Chaos – Interview with Adele Wang, MS

Calming the Chaos welcomes Adele Wang, Certified Energy Healer, Licensed Art of Feminine Presence Instructors and Musician in Georgia. She has a podcast on Soundcloud called “All Things Human.” She’s here with us today to have “A new conversation about chaos and the stress that is impacting people in our world today,” and how understanding energy and getting connected to our communities can help calm the chaos that has in the changes in our world today.

Adele shares her story about how she learned to understand energy, and how energy healing techniques such as Emotional Freedom Technique, sound shamanism, cranio sacral therapy, Reiki and qi gong have helped her where traditional methods of psychotherapy did not. She now has a thorough understanding of energy, as well as a well-developed skill set in non-traditional treatment modalities. With these, Adele now helps people find their own wisdom and healing through these methods.

Notable timestamps:

12:00 – Adele talks about how she got started doing energy healing

18:08 – Adele “goes toward the woo”

24:39 – Adele is “Done with Corporate Life”

29:00 – Adele’s “Secret thought about Corporate Life”

32:20 – Adele and music, energy, pets and dancing

37:20 – Adele and Tracy talk Emotional Freedom Technique

44:00 – Adele’s services, social links and website

47:05 – “Good healing happens in Community”

51:00 – Adele’s blog…”I can be edgy and snarky..” “I share who I am…imperfect and all.”

52:40 – “Put your energy into what matters most.”

Follow Adele on her website at https://safehavenhealing.net

Adele’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/AdeleWang

Learn more about Emotional Freedom Technique at www.thetappingsolution.com

Email Tracy at Calming the Chaos at calmingthec@gmail.com

Mindset Shifting can Calm Your Chaos!

Sat, 12 Feb 2022 13:49:00 -0700

Using Mindset Shifting to Calm Internal Chaos – Podcast Interview with Lauren Dreher

Calming the Chaos welcomes Lauren Dreher: Author, Mindset Speaker and Coach from Kansas. Lauren has a degree in Family Studies and Human Services, and Gerontology. Lauren talks about being born with a birthmark, having it removed, and living with the scars. Throughout her life, Lauren has struggled with the internal chaos that comes from negative messaging. Using the power of mindset shifting, Lauren has developed a method to help herself and others re-program negative messaging, and calm internal chaos.

The goal: Lauren tells her story and provides tips, tools and techniques that will help listeners:

1. Recognize negative messaging and internal chaos

2. Become encouraged to “Not throw in the towel”

3. Meet any fears and overcome them through the power of mindset shifting

4. Move toward positive change in life.

Introduction to Lauren - Her story: Birthmark, scars and the beginning of negative messaging

a. Types of negative messaging:

i. “I’m different” (and that’s bad)

ii. “I’m not good enough”

iii. “I don’t belong with others”

iv. “I can’t do this”

v. “I am unworthy, incapable, stupid, a failure”

b. The damage of negative messaging – Urges to “Throw in the towel” and give up

2. Tips, Tools and Skills to help you reprogram negative messaging and calm internal chaos:

a. Recognizing negative messaging

b. Setting intentions and channeling who you want to be

c. Daring to Dream (vs. listen to everyone else’s dreams for you)

d. Using Positive Psychology and journaling to change your perspectives

e. Shifting from being a victim / blaming others to Self-Accountability

f. Using fear as a motivator to move you toward excitement and passion

3. Products and services you have to offer (list) Website: https://livelifewithlauren.com/

Embrace the Chaos!

Sat, 05 Feb 2022 14:30:00 -0700

Keeping Up With Chaos - Interview with Jozlyn Rocki and Friends

Calming the Chaos welcomes Jozlyn Rocki, who is a host of “Keeping Up with Chaos” podcast.

Along with her co-hosts Nikki and Ginger. This podcast helps you find connections, conversations and a place to share your chaos.

I met Jozlyn and Nikki on 10/6/21 when I was a guest on their podcast. We all had so much fun, we decided to have them on Calming the Chaos. Since then, I learned that Jozlyn is also a voiceover actor, production director, PR gal, guest coordinator, social media creator and overall bad ass mom, friend who loves to workout, drink coffee (and vodka), read books and dabbles in all things woo!

In this podcast, we talk about how they all got together, what they are doing now, and what sort of chaos they have in their lives. We’ll also do a first time “Chaos Lightening Round,” where we’ll talk about all things chaos with some surprise guests.

Introduction to Jozlyn and background on “Keeping up with Chaos” podcast

Introduction to Jozlyn’s secret surprise guest – Frankie Mateo, Voiceover Actor

Introduction to Tracy’s secret surprise guest – Mercury Rising, or Tim Steacy, Tracy’s Husband

10:43 Chaos Lightening Round

Jozlyn’s chaos is her podcast co-hosts are in a state of flux, and she is flying solo as a podcast host. She is planning to create a guest co-host roster, with Frankie at the top of her list!

12:01 – Jozlyn talks about how she became a Voiceover Actor, reinventing herself and meeting Frankie

13:21 – Frankie talks about how he became a Voiceover Actor, to cope with “terrible stage fright.”

Jozlyn: I am not going to allow fear to stop me

16:15 Tracy explains chaos. “Look around to what is stable and helpful to calm your chaos.”

17:31 – Jozlyn explains what she wants to manifest despite her chaos, and how she is reinventing herself

19:16 – Jozlyn talks about “kid chaos” and “kids are crazy!”

21:43 – Tim talks about being one of four boys and how chaotic it was when he was growing up. He actually calmed his chaos by entering the Army!

23:51 – Tim tells the story of swinging on the porch railing. “It was Indiana Jones…and I was the bad guy.”

25:25 – Jozlyn talks about her secret coping skills (vodka and coffee) and how she copes with her 16 year old boy (the kitchen towel story)

27:07 – Frankie talks about being a single guy and possibly getting a puppy in the future!

28:12 – Tracy talks “cold chaos” in Washington State, and Jozlyn and Tim agree that moving from Michigan was a good idea!

30:09 – Frankie actually wants to spend time in a snowy Christmas town like Frankenmuth, MI “I am the self-proclaimed baby-grandma.”

31:44 – The I-75 Freeway closure in Virginia, and being stuck on the freeway for up to 27 hours.

33:10 What do you do to plan for an emergency? Jozlyn has ideas about what to include in your car:

Tylenol, blankets, a bucket (to poop in!) a change of clothes, granola bars, peanuts, phone chargers, batteries, some games for the kids, crayons, markers, notebooks, mad-libs, wine and other adult beverages!

34:30 – Florida, influx of travelers, lack of cell phone towers and inability to call people

39:58 - Tim shows off his “landline” or “bat phone”

43:03 – Cell phones cause Frankie more chaos “I hate the fact that I’m always available.”

44:30 – Jozlyn’s Instagram Reels

47:00 – Jozlyn explains dubbing, ADR and how Instagram Reels help her develop her voiceover chops

47:41 – Jozlyn talks about visiting Vegas and meeting Frankie face to face for the first time, and chaos in traveling, travel anxiety and anxiety around people and large crowds

52:40 – Tim describes his fear of flying over the Old Vegas Strip

55:00 – Jozlyn’s skill for panic: “It will only be _____ minutes. And it will be fine, and I’ll enjoy the moment.” Don’t let fear interfere with your life plan.

56:41 – The Candle Factory collapse in Kentucky is an example of when fear is legitimate. Jozlyn suggests taking a break from the news to calm the chaos. Tracy adds that we can keep away from the news, and also feel confident that we’ll have the resources to survive a natural disaster if it comes our way.

Community Resources, pulling together and helping and financial donations can help calm the chaos

1:01:49 – Jonathan and Jessica Stanley’s Chaos Christmas pictures

1:03:31 – Jozlyn talks about the value of experiences for Christmas (instead of gifts) to avoid gift meltdowns. Timmy agrees “I just want memories.”

1:11:12 - Jozlyn has the last word on Chaos: You might as well talk about it and share it and figure out how to calm it because it’s not going away! And there is a fun part to the chaos, which is meeting people!

Listen to Jozlyn at the following links:

Podcast “Keeping up with Chaos” on iTunes at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keeping-up-with-chaos/id1527929471

Jozlyn’s website: www.keepingupwithchaos.net

Instagram @keeping_up_with_chaos

YouTube channel is https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChG0fKKBt2QNplJowSaKU6w

Love Yourself Through Chaos

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 02:20:00 -0700

Love Yourself Through Chaos - Interview with Leslie Davis

Calming the Chaos welcomes Leslie Davis, Author of “You Can’t Eat Love,” a book that describes how loving yourself through the chaos of life can help you transform your relationship with food.

Leslie introduces herself as a wife and Mom who at one point was going through a hard time in her life.

“I was either going to continue going down a not very good path or I was going to make a change”

Made a decision that I would be the very best me I could possibly be, which meant that I would be healthy physically, mentally and emotionally

It was a lot of hard work!

When we face the chaos, we don’t know what’s in store for us, we simply move through it

Kids in the playroom: Picking up one thing at a time and dealing with things one thing at a time

“Swiss-cheesing” is taking tiny bites and celebrating the wins you make, and move forward

What do you do when it’s just too much and you want to give up?

1. Pause…take a deep breath

2. Ask: “What is one thing I can do right now?” (Changing habits and thoughts)

3. Celebrate it when you complete something, however small it may seem

Ways to celebrate:

• Say to yourself, “Yay! You did it!”

• Give yourself a treat or an experience you enjoy

• Affirmations

• Encouraging yourself

• Talking to yourself like a best friend would talk to you

• Send a card to yourself from yourself and send it to yourself

“I was using food as my drug of choice.” “I used food to numb pain.”

Eating was used to relieve the anger and tension and other feelings within herself, which led to shame

“I had to learn to name my emotions and not be afraid to sit with my emotions.”

“I had a my-self sized hole in my heart, and I was filling it with food”

“When I learned to love myself, talk to myself and started being kind to myself, the need for the drug of choice started easing up.”

“There are still times when I find myself going to food for comfort. But I catch myself and ask myself, ‘What is really going on here?’ And then I have a conversation with myself.”

“Put this bus in park, and ask myself what is really going on?”

1. How can you become aware of your behavior of using food to comfort yourself through emotional pain?

• I made the decision to improve my health, which included noticing what I was eating

• I noticed that I was grabbing for food when I wasn’t really hungry

• I put the bus in park and considered what was really going on with me emotionally… in a curious way…not in a “critical parent” way

• Have an honest conversation with myself

• I put the conversations in writing (as if you are talking to yourself in a conversation) and include all the voices in the conversation

• Validating your feelings, and congratulating yourself when you don’t use food to cope with your feelings

To get through emotional pain, you do need to have conversations with others that are helpful, affirming and validating

How to voice that “I am struggling with emotional pain and using food as a Drug of Choice to relieve my Emotional pain”

What was missing: I am not feeling as if I am loved unconditionally

Why is it that I am not getting what I am wanting?

Well…maybe I’m not giving it to myself!

Leslie then started building a relationship with herself by realizing that she didn’t even really love herself, so “How can I expect others to love me? “Am I giving that love to myself?”

Building a relationship with myself was key to healing (send a loving card to yourself)

Introspection, reflection and action toward ourselves

1. Ask yourself “What is it that I am wanting?”

2. Can I give what I really want to myself?

“We are only in charge of us.” Consider how you are treating yourself, back the bus up, and move forward to calm your own chaos

Leslie’s Book, “You Can’t Eat Love: How learning to love yourself can help you change your relationship with food.”

Leslie talks about her book: it started with three paragraphs, inspired by an experience she had on Mother’s Day and eating a chocolate pie. This book talks about how learning to love herself helped her change her relationship with food. A simplistic but difficult solution

“You have to do the hard work…you can’t just flip a switch and expect it to switch.”

Stay in your car. Don’t get out. Don’t park it. Don’t put it in reverse. Just go forward on your journey!

What would you tell someone who is a beginner on this journey?

1. Pick up a pen and a notebook and prepare to have conversations with yourself

2. Start having conversations with yourself each day

3. Celebrate the wins along with the “not so great” things that happen

4. Work on replacing the old tapes in your head with more positive thoughts

5. Love and accept yourself and your body where you are right now, as you change

6. Eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary

7. Love yourself through any traffic jams that happen through your life and your journey

8. Keep going forward, “tomorrow is another day.” Learning to forgive yourself

9. Ask yourself: “Why are you giving up on your very important life goals, when you wouldn’t give up on yourself if you were in a traffic jam?”

Cleaning the Attic:

Tracy’s idea: Leslie could start a YouTube channel focused on cleaning her attic “one piece at a time” and see how she rewards herself

Set a timer on the microwave for 10 minutes. Do what you can. Reward yourself. “That was so amazing!”

The next day, do it again. You can also bump up the time.

Adult coloring books by Leslie, “Flowers”

“Until you believe it…I will believe it for you: You are enough. You are enough just as you are.”

~ Leslie Davis

Leslie’s Contact Information

Website: www.youcanteatlove.com

https://www.facebook.com/youcanteatlove

https://www.instagram.com/you_cant_eat_love/

email leslie@youcanteatlove.com

From Chaos to Disorder

Sun, 02 Jan 2022 14:38:00 -0700

Dr. Anita Johnston is a Psychologist, Storyteller, Educator and Author of “Eating in the light of the Moon,” a beautiful book available in 7 languages that uses storytelling, myths and metaphors to help women transform their relationships with food.

Anita has been working in the field of eating disorders since the early 1980s, and is currently the Clinical Director of Ai Pono Hawaii, a Treatment Center for eating disorders on the island of Maui.

In this podcast, we talk about how Anita started treating Eating Disorders Treatment in the early 1980s, and how she uses the language of metaphor in the work she does. We also talk about the ways people can cope with chaos by using food in disordered ways. Anita tells several stories, and also gives us some wisdom about ways to move from chaos and disorder, and back to order again.

Introduction to Anita Johnston

“Metaphor is how you use one thing to describe another.”

The language of metaphor is pictures and storytelling to describe what eating disorders are and how to treat them

“It’s using the right hemisphere of the brain” to understand Eating Disorders

• The left hemisphere = helps you see the trees

• The right hemisphere = forest

• We see the same things, just from a different view

• Our culture has reared us to use mostly the left side of our brain, and that’s how the Eating Disordered Brain gets hijacked!

When you listen to a story, time is no longer linear!

• “Anita’s Story,” growing up in Guam influenced her way of thinking

• Multi-cultural, indigenous, storytelling has taught her right and wrong

• Not good-bad-right-or-wrong…just different!

How Anita got started

In the early 1980s, she had an interest in women’s experiences, and eventually an interest in psychology, and in disordered eating.

Remember Karen Carpenter? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyXil9JPn9c

Her body of work:

• Why is it women and girls?

• Why is it a struggle about food and body?

• “I decided to listen to their stories and figure out what was going on.”

The Emperor’s new clothes (Story time with Anita!)

Internal and External Chaos

“Chaos happens when we disconnect from our authentic self.”

We disconnect because we were taught to do so (to survive)

Using food to get to peace / regulate when things get chaotic is natural! However, it becomes problematic when food is the only way we know to regulate.

It is necessary to learn other ways of coping with chaos.

Disorder happens…with chaos

We go to disordered eating when we are seeking order outside of ourselves, and not letting it all in! (A lack of receptivity) (An inner experience is lacking)

We are taught NOT to tune in to receive…to NOT attune to the energy we receive

Example: When there is overeating, there may be “never enough” time, care

When we judge ourselves, it is not helpful

Those who pick up on the energetic vibes of the universe are highly attuned

This is a good opportunity for those “highly attuned” individuals to reflect on possibilities other than “There is something wrong with me.”

Resources and Story Time:

Be a mindful consumer of news, and explore https://www.positive.news/

Go into the storm cellar when disaster strikes – What is stable?

Nothing new comes out of the “status quo.” It always comes out of chaos

“If you want to have something new, you have to make friends with chaos”

Angelise Arrien: “And that’s a story that doesn’t need to happen.”

Mark Twain: “I’ve had a lot of horrible experiences in my life, and, it’s a good thing most of them have never happened.”

The images we create in our mind’s eye will be our superpower

Worry is a good imagination…creativity. Once you realize this, you can work with it!

Visit Anita and see all she has created at the links below:

Website: https://dranitajohnston.com/

• Individual Sessions

• Workshops and Retreats

• Speaking and Trainings

Light of the Moon Café: http://lightofthemooncafe.com/

Workbook

Interactive online circle

Educational Programs: Her latest program is The Four Faces of the Feminine Psyche www.lightofthemooncafe.com/fourfaces

Professional Discount Codes

*NEW Self-Study Course* “The Four Faces of the Feminine” is course designed to help you discover Four powerful Archetypal Energies within yourself at any time!

https://lightofthemooncafe.com/the-four-faces-of-the-feminine-psyche/

Visit Ai Pono Hawaii: https://www.aipono.com/

Link to “Eating in the Light of The Moon” book by Anita Johnston https://dranitajohnston.com/eating-in-the-light-of-the-moon/

Social Media Links

Facebook and Instagram: @dranitajohnston and @lightofthemooncafe

Ai Pono’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsAN3ax4w7eciuO73ieNm0w/videos

Check out Tracy’s new channel called “Freedom from Disordered Eating”

Freedom from Disordered Eating

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ

Thank you, Dr. Anita Johnston!

Burned by Chaos - Finding Resilience through Disfigurement

Sun, 19 Dec 2021 13:57:00 -0700

Burned by Chaos - Interview with Lise DeGuire

Calming the Chaos welcomes Lise DeGuire, who is a clinical psychologist in private practice. She is the lone surviving child of gifted, unsettled, and iconoclastic parents. After being severely burned in a fire when she was a small child , Lise spent most of her childhood in the hospital, undergoing countless surgical procedures. She is the award winning author of her memoir, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience from a Burn Survivor. In this interview, Lise tells us about her story, and helps us learn how we can develop resilience through the chaos of life.

Lise introduces herself and states her goal, which is to help people have “resilient and beautiful lives” after trauma

3:37: Lise describes her story, beginning October of 1967 – A family Barbeque gone wrong, resulting in Lise having 65% of her 5-year-old body covered by 3rd degree burns. “I was hideous.”

A long and incredibly painful journey of recovery from burn care followed through Lise’s childhood

5:21: There were many sources of chaos that came from the fire, and her family

6:01: Lise describes her parents as “Iconoclastic” and presents the definition here. She also describes the love she has for her brother. “He was my best parent.”

Chaos happened from all sorts of different perspectives that day, and beyond

8:30: Lise has been through a lot of chaos…and…she has survived! Her book was written to deliver that message to everyone in the world who has been through horrendous trauma such as she has:

• Neglectful Parents

• Bullied

• Years of medical trauma, being alone and scared

• Multiple untimely deaths in her family due to suicide

9:18: “And yet here I am, many decades later. And I have the kind of life that most people would be like, ‘I’d like her life!’”

9:56: Lise describes some steps people can take to move through tragic times with limited resources

• Having the hope that you can recover, it can get better and things can turn out okay

• Pain is inevitable….suffering is optional

• Finding resources other than parents (brother, grandparents, friends, plastic surgeon) to help

• Love is in the world….you just need to look around for it

12:02: Lise shares her memories of the burn incident, including parental neglect, invalidation and pain

14:25: The origins of the “Flashback Girl” Book “It was my nickname, and I didn’t know it.” The burn picture of her as a girl was on the Internet!

16:26: Lise explains the writing of her book. “I knew I would write my memoir, but I had to wait until my parents were both dead.”

First Memories of chaos

1. The felt experience in going through the physical treatment and pain of burns

2. The dissolution of my family

18:47: Here’s how Lise found the “seeds of resilience” within herself at an early age..and… was able to help them grow, with the help of others, and therapy. She also credits herself as being gifted with “reasonably intelligent,” which helped her out.

21:03: Making it through school. “It was really hard.”

“I was the most hideous child you had ever seen, and kids could be quite cruel.”

It was the strangers who didn’t really know her that were the most hurtful.

24:06: How Lise found Resilience: GOALS + M&M

• Gratitude

• Optimism

• Active Coping

• Love

• Social Skills

• Meaning Making

28:23: Lise takes you through her Website at www.lisedeguire.com and her book, “Flashback Girl”

Awards:

2020 Nautalis

2021 Next Generation

2021 Living Now Book Award – Silver

30:34: We talk about the audio version of her book. “It’s my oldest daughter who narrates the book.”

Check out her Blog, and professional speaking engagements with her riveting topics, such as bullying, suicide, burn survival, trauma and more!

Website: https://www.lisedeguire.com/

Book Links:

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Flashback-Girl-Lessons-Resilience-Survivor/dp/1734932007/ref=sr_1_1?crid=5TDD7IN26HRW&keywords=flashback+girl&qid=1637625516&sprefix=flashback+g%2Caps%2C166&sr=8-1

Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/flashback-girl-lise-deguire/1137501586?ean=9781734932003

Social Media:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-lise-deguire/

Twitter: @DrLiseDeguire

Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/drlisedeguire6/?hl=en

The Chaos of Parenting

Wed, 08 Dec 2021 19:45:00 -0700

The Chaos of Parenting – Interview with Dr. Robert Saul

Dr. Saul wants to improve our communities, and advocate for our children.

Dr. Saul is the author of many books on children and parenting, including “My Children’s Children: Raising Young Citizens in the Age of Columbine,” and “Conscious Parenting.”

In this podcast. Dr. Saul talks about the main issues that cause chaos in parents today. He also offers his thoughts in light of the most recent Oxford High School shootings in Michigan.

Through the wisdom of his education, training and experience as a Pediatrician, Dr. Saul provides some insights, tips, tools and techniques that parents and others can use to calm their chaos while working to improve communities by raising good citizens.

1. Introduction to Dr. Saul

a. Background and his interest in Pediatrics

b. His body of work, including activism and authorship of several books

c. You are fond of saying 12 words: “I am the problem, I am the solution, I am the resource.” Tell us why this phrase is so meaningful to you

d. His continued involvement in communities although he is retired

2. Five Steps to Community Improvement

a. Learn to be the best parent you can be

b. Get Involved

c. Stay Involved

d. Love for Others

e. Forgiveness

3. Book: “My Children’s Children: Raising Good Citizens in the Age of Columbine” (2013)

4. Connecting with kids today

a. American Academy of Pediatrics

b. Advocating for children

c. Social Media and Parental involvement

d. Parental Awareness Threshold

5. The Parents of the Oxford High School Shooter

a. Were they aware of the warning signs?

b. What could be the reason for parents to buy a 15-year old child a 9 mm assault weapon, when he clearly had mental health issues?

6. What does it mean to “raise our children to be good citizens?”

a. What do you think are the main issues today that cause chaos in parents?

b. You have written several books. Where would you suggest that parents start?

i. “Conscious Parenting”

ii. Parental Awareness Threshold

iii. Five Steps to Community Improvement

c. How open are parents to learning new ways to parent their children?

7. How might you apply the Parental Awareness Threshold to the parents of the Oxford High School shooter?

a. The Parental Awareness Threshold is about Positive Actions Going forward

b. “I see no positive actions in buying a 15 year old a gun”

c. These parents are certainly in the cellar in the Parental Awareness Threshold

8. How might you expand on the idea of forgiveness in light of all of the High School shootings, and in particular the most recent shooting at Oxford High School?

a. “It’s very difficult in this circumstance to forgive the child and the parents.”

b. We have to forgive ourselves for being able to not forgive them

9. Final thoughts from Dr. Saul about High School Shootings

Not long after the release of his first book, inspired by the Columbine shootings, the Sandy Hook shootings happened. “I was just numb,” says Dr. Saul. “I just couldn’t.”

“Unfortunately, I’ve become numb to all of the subsequent shootings.”

Through this phone call, Dr. Saul realized that each high school shooting is unique… and…all should ignite us in some way toward some sort of action.

“Maybe I’ve got to stop being so blasé about all the shootings, and re-ignite myself and my efforts.”

10. Products and services you have to offer:

a. Website: www.mychildrenschildren.com

b. Links to books and other written materials

i. https://mychildrenschildren.com/book/my-childrens-children/

ii. https://mychildrenschildren.com/book/all-about-children/

iii. https://mychildrenschildren.com/book/thinking-developmentally-nurturing-wellness-in-childhood-to-promote-lifelong-health/

iv. https://mychildrenschildren.com/book/conscious-parenting-using-the-parental-awareness-threshold/.

v. A Great interview with Dr. Saul at https://www.wyff4.com/article/pediatric-doctor-talks-about-importance-of-parenting-environment-on-child-health/27141728#

c. Social Media Links

a. Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/mychildrenschildren; http://www.facebook.com/allaboutchildren2017; http://www.facebook.com/consciousparentingPAT

b. Twitter – www.twitter.com/@saul1robert

c. LinkedIn – www.linkedin.com/in/robertasaul

d. Instagram – www.instagram.com/rsaul

e. YouTube – www.youtube.com/robertsaulmd

#fromcolumbinetooxfordschoolshootings #theageofcolumbineandoxford #mychildrenschildren

The Heart of Chaos

Sun, 28 Nov 2021 11:15:00 -0700

The Heart of Chaos – Interview with Don and Hutch

About the Episode:

Calming the Chaos welcomes Don MacKee and Ian Hutchinson (“Don and Hutch”), who are best mates who live in Australia. They share their story of how they were both thrown into a “do or die” situation a couple of years ago, which caused them both some chaos.

While they were on a bike ride, Hutch went into sudden cardiac arrest, and died for 18 minutes.

Fortunately, Don and some bystanders were able to perform CPR and mouth to mouth resuscitation for 10 minutes until the medics came, and Hutch was one of the 9% of people who survive cardiac arrest in Australia.

Don and Hutch are now the founders of “CPRfriendly.org” which aims to save lives by helping anyone get CPR friendly in just minutes, in a light and fun way.

On this podcast, Don and Hutch share their story of chaos, and some of their “lessons learnt after being dead.” Join us for a fun interview on a very serious topic of chaos!

1. Introduction to Don and Hutch

a. Friends for 25 years

b. On a bike ride one Tuesday, and Hutch had Cardiac Arrest

i. “Donny jumped in like a Superman”

ii. A Green corridor wasn’t given

iii. Clinically dead for 18 minutes

iv. Now a new cable into Hutch’s heart

2. The 911 call

a. Is he conscious?

b. Is he breathing?

c. Is there a defibrillator?

d. “I’ll help you do CPR”

e. The 000 (or 911) operator was so helpful!

f. Don did the mouth to mouth…garlic bread breath?

i. TIP: Always have Breath Mints available!

3. What happened

a. Hutch went into a coma

b. He was in a 20-second loop “Like a Goldfish” – The Goldfish loop

c. Don was in chaos from the moment Hutch had cardiac arrest, and until he knew that Hutch would be okay. What a great friend!

d. Hutch survived, and the two of them created CPR-Friendly, to help people learn CPR in minutes…for FREE!

e. “Any attempt is better than none at all”

4. Questions for Don and Hutch

a. Hutch: What was it like to die? “I didn’t remember a thing,” “I wanted to avoid the hot place.”

b. Don: How did you stay calm in this crisis/chaos? (or did you?) Hutch yelled out Don’s name, and Don responded

c. What is the difference between a heart attack and cardiac arrest?

i. A Heart Attack is a “plumbing issue” where the heart doesn’t flow well

ii. Cardiac Arrest is an “electrical issue” where the heart can’t get a good rhythm

iii. Because of the “electrical issue” with cardiac arrest, a defibrillator is a good tool to have on board. “It’s like your own coach in a box!”

iv. Perhaps try and host your own CPR Friendly gathering

v. Consider getting a defibrillator – “The Wiggles”

vi. Any attempt is better than none!

d. Can a dog do CPR?

5. Products and services you have to offer:

a. Free Webinars that are fun and informative that help you become CPR Friendly in minutes! Visit www.cprfriendly.org

b. New Defibrillators.

c. “If we can save one life, it’s amazing!”

d. Thank you, Don, for helping Hutch to be here today!

6. Contact Information and Social Media Links

a. Website: www.CPRfriendly.org

b. Email: info@CPRfriendly.org

c. Facebook https://www.facebook.com/CPRfriendly.org/

d. YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQ_Rx6yFTy0S3iBxZcJSB-Q/videos

YouTube Video #1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TwDStxynO0&t=12s

YouTube Video #2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5kiBzXsim4

Email Calming the Chaos at Calmingthec@gmail.com

Chaos and Food Cravings

Sat, 20 Nov 2021 11:02:00 -0700

Chaos and Food Cravings – Podcast Interview with Laura Folkes

Calming the Chaos welcomes Laura Folkes, a Holistic Health Coach in Chicago. Laura helps clients around the world work transform their relationships with food. As a Holistic Health Coach, Laura helps clients identify and work through any areas where they feel stuck, unsupported or self-sabotaging, and helps them reach their goals with food and eating.

The goal: In this podcast, Laura talks about her own journey of chaotic eating, and how she was able to experience a truce with food. Laura provides some tips, tools and techniques that will help you:

1. Identify and explore any areas where you feel “stuck” in your relationship with food

2. Assess for any areas of self-sabotage

3. Provide support as you move toward achieving your goals with food and eating

4. Help you continue to notice when you are eating in / out of alignment with your goals

1. Introduction to Laura

• Your journey of chaotic eating – Back to age 12-13 and the “Diet program”

• Laura says, “I went into a fog.. Sometimes I was eating in alignment with my goals, and sometimes I was not”

• “I started exploring my own relationship with food and developed an interest in helping others heal in that area.”

• I was “Super burnt out with Diets”

2. Chaos and food / eating

• Cravings: When she was a child, she wasn’t aware of cravings. It was when she was an adult she became more aware: “Food can be a form of self-protection.”

• There is usually something else going on that is causing overeating

• High / Low Blood sugar can cause cravings

• When “there is something wrong with me,” a craving began to eat

• Physical / Emotional Cravings are both very real.

• Possible Physical Factors behind “Cravings”

• If you are craving something shortly after eating, and

• You are feeling your energy is dipping

• Hangry

• Arriving at a meal ravenous

• Possible Emotional Factors behind “Cravings:

• Phantom Hunger

• Emotionally craving something

• Guilt and Shame around a food choice

• An insatiable craving around a food choice

• Eating when you don’t want the food

3. What is self-sabotage? “When we are actively or passively stopping ourselves from reaching our own goals.” (Or…”I’m getting in my own way”)

• You want to achieve a goal, but it doesn’t happen, and you don’t know why

• You are doing behaviors with food you don’t want

• There is guilt or shame after behaviors with food

• Self-Sabotage can show up in other areas like work, relationships, shopping

4. What did Laura learn about self-sabotage?

• “My past is still controlling me!” She was bullied at school, this still affected her

• The fear of “being misunderstood” caused emotional eating

• Food as “A safe place” when the world misunderstands you

• You can learn to “bully” or “control” yourself when you feel out of control

• Consider possible subconscious reasons for self-sabotage

• The protective side of you can actually (subconsciously) cause self-sabotage!

5. Products and services you have to offer (list)

• Laura’s Website at https://laurabfolkes.com can help you with classes, tools and techniques for managing your cravings with food

• A “Free” Curiosity Call to figure out what you are struggling with

• Discovery Session – The root cause of why you fall off track and turn to food

• “We’re in a snow-globe. In this process, we’re shaking up the snow to see what’s happening.” The snow will start to settle again!

• 90-day Truce with Food introduction: The first 3 Months of the 6 month Program

• 6-month Truce with Food program

• Behind Your Cravings self-study course

6. Contact and Social Media Links https://laurabfolkes.com

• https://www.instagram.com/laurab.folkes/

• https://www.facebook.com/laurabfolkes

• Clubhouse: @laurafolkes

Out of Chaos - And Into Your Potential with Robert Kittridge

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 13:13:00 -0700

Out of Chaos and Into Your Potential - Interview with Robert Kittridge, Mentor, Speaker, Coach

Calming the Chaos welcomes Robert Kittridge, who describes how he uses his training in Human Design to help people recognize and overcome any fear-based conditioning that can happen through their lives and cause them to experience internal chaos. Robert also describes a process by which people can use Human Design principles to help people become grounded in their true selves, realize their true potential, and remain calm under any chaotic situations.

1. Introduction to Robert - Your story, and what led you to be where you are now

"My journey started in the back of a police car in Boulder, Colorado”

This incident helped him to get him to think, “How can I be just a little bit better?” and “How can I get my team to work together better?”
What do you do to help people with the Human Design?

i. Human Design was introduced to Robert a couple of years ago. “It blew me away. It answered so many questions I had about myself and my life.”

ii. Robert learned that all the answers to his questions were within him all the time

iii. Robert believes that when you know your own unique Human Design, it is an excellent way to calm your chaos

What is Human Design?

Definition:

A modality that encompasses I Ching, chakras, Kabbalah, Astrology, Vedic Philosophy.

“It is our God’s DNA” or “Roadmap.” Human Design tells us what our own unique roadmap is. It helps you know your Possibility, Purpose, Potential."

Human Design helps you reach fullest potential beyond the conditioning

Robert’s Human Design has helped him understand how to calm the chaos of decision-making, learning and future direction in life.

We’re meant to stand out….not fit in!

We’re designed with an “Inner Authority,” that we use to live our lives. However, the world forces us to h learning through the “Outer Authority” of school, teaching “I believe in a world where people can make choices and decisions in line with their designs, free from the “shoulds” of life.

Examples of how we can use Human Design principles to help us stay calm during chaos:

Educational chaos: what if your child’s design isn’t supportive of the traditional school systems? As a parent:

i. Figure out your child’s design…and YOUR design

ii. Commit to bring your child up according to their unique design, and their style

iii. “The Owner’s Manual” to you and your child

Who do you attract in your practice?

Robert is a Generator - attracts Projectors, who are waking up and have no idea what to do. Quite a few are age 50-60s, but some younger people in their 30s.

i. Generators are meant to build and work. 70% of the world are Generators

ii. Projectors – Designed to guide (20% of the world)

iii. Manifestors –Designed to build a team so that their ideas can be put into play

iv. Reflectors –Needs an entire lunar cycle (30 days) in order to make a choice or decision that is correct for them. They are the evaluators, and see what others can’t.

Robert reads Tracy’s Human Design

Tracy’s Design: is a 3-5 profile, which is all about learning through experimentation, trial and error… as opposed to what society teaches, which is to succeed…or fail.

“People are afraid to fail, but Tracy’s design is to try and learn through trial and error. Then, through her learnings, bringing that out to help others change

Tracy is working right in alignment to her design

The Heretic: “Tracy is either a savior…or Crucified.”

i. Tracy just needs to learn when to share and when to do what I feel I need to do!

ii. Tracy can try new things on, figure out what can be learned through trial and error

iii. Tracy is designed to try new things and that will sometimes fail! And when she understands this and moves beyond the societal beliefs that she must succeed, she will learn and she will succeed!

iv. Tracy feels pressure to do things, achieve. But 70% of Tracy’s Design is about caring / nourishing others and a lot of intuition. And so, choosing to refuse the pressure, and not to “constantly do something,” is within her design.

v. Tracy isn’t designed to be certain! (That fits with her being a counselor, because counselors don’t give advice)

Fear-Based Conditioning, Awareness, and following your own Inner Authority

What the world tells you to be afraid of

You don’t need to know where it comes from to have it!

Example: A client of Roberts who didn’t want to wear a dress due to being laughed at in school when she wore a dress. She is now able to discern the fear-based conditioning and transcend to her own “Inner Authority”

How these principles can help people moving out of the Pandemic chaos

Robert believes COVID was given to us to show us something. For him, it taught him to be still, and learn about his own unique design

If we can work in alignment to our Design and calm our internal chaos, we can calm the chaos of the world

We are in a “right– wrong” judgement society. Learn how to suspend right and wrong, learn to think of things as “helpful” or “not helpful” or “effective” or “ineffective”

How can Robert help you? (products and services he has to offer)

Website:

https://www.focuspointsolution.com/

Get a complimentary discovery session like Tracy did – Robert can do your Design!

You are a “once in a lifetime cosmic event” according to Robert

Live your Uniqueness!

Get a roadmap before you get in the car and drive to your destination

Respect your own Human Design…and the unique Designs of others!

When people have dreams, but don’t know how to get there, “Your door may be blocked!”

If you are not living in alignment to your potential, your door is blocked! (perhaps by resentment, bitterness, anger, frustration

Calm the Chaos of Your Stress Response - With Sarah Falk, LCSW

Sun, 24 Oct 2021 12:42:00 -0700

Calming the Chaos of the Stress Response – Interview with Sarah Falk, MSW, LCSW, Author, Coach

Calming the Chaos welcomes Sarah Falk, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Author and Certified Coach in Illinois. Sarah shares her story about how the chaos of cancer led her to earn a Masters degree in Social Work and land her dream job at a cancer support center. After experiencing crippling panic and anxiety on the job, Sarah took time off to heal. In the process, she learned how to heal her relationship with her stress response by making anxiety her Superpower. She now provides coaching to people around the world to help them do the same.

1. Introduction to Sarah and her story

a. Anxiety and first cancer diagnosis at age 17

b. Anxiety in childhood and “feeling safe”

The anxiety response is triggered by any perceived threat to safety

Good stress and Bad Stress

2. The Stress Response

a. A survival instinct that happens when there is a real or perceived threat to safety in our environments

b. Our systems react (adrenaline, cortisol, blood sugar, survival instinct)

c. We are triggered everywhere: perceiving threats everywhere

d. Tracy’s own description of her stress response today – “My body is activated”

3. Sarah’s work: How to use the Stress Response as a Superpower

a. Anxiety is a survival instinct that you need – let’s work with it!

b. How Sarah had to quit her dream job due to crippling panic and chaos on the job

Identifying Cancer Treatment as a trigger

Recognizing

Acknowledging

Shifting the energy to powerful and positive action vs. actions based on negativity and fear

“In reality…what control do we really have?”

Move past the obsessing, and toward holding things loosely (“a posture of surrender”) as opposed to holding on tightly to an idea or expectation

c. You have very little control over situations…and…you have absolute control over what you do in situations

4. Paths that led you to learn how to manage the stress response

a. Panic attacks, and a first marriage

b. Children were born (4 children under 4 years old)

c. 2^nd diagnosis of breast cancer – “How will I do this?”

d. Fearing a lack of support at home and work

5. How Sarah healed from the crippling panic (tips, tools and techniques to use when in chaos)

a. Pay attention to what triggers…and soothes you

b. Making the decision to leave her job (getting support)

c. Cutting out caffeine and energy drinks, drinks with high sugar

d. Trying to figure out how to experience my anxiety in a different way

e. Going back to what she’d already learned…and…learning new things from holistic practitioners, triggers, stimulants in addition to the psychology

The blue light of computers and caffeine: Perhaps go to de-caf coffee and get blue-light blockers for computer use

6. Finding “Miracles” in the pain

a. Bone, breast and skin cancer survivor

b. “We all have pain,” and “Areas we feel broken and chaotic”

“I can stay negative “ (The negativity Track)

Or…I can throw the switch and throw the energy to positivity

c. Working with the anxiety

d. What do I have to be grateful for?

e. What is working well?

f. What is the greater purpose within the pain?

g. How can I move forward within the greater purpose of the pain?

h. Holding on loosely / letting go of expectations / allow the process

i. “I am healed”

j. Claim it and move forward

7. Re-Defining her life path

a. Pay attention to your passions

b. Pay attention to your ability to pursue your passions

c. Pursue your passions

d. Go toward people who can help you pursue your passions

8. Products and services you have to offer:

a. Website: https://sarahfenlonfalk.com

b. Social Media Link: @sarahfalkcoaching

c. Free Pamphlet: 5 Expert Tips to Channel your Anxiety for Working Moms

d. Books (See Amazon page at https://www.amazon.com/Sarah-Fenlon-Falk/e/B079M8Q6J5?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1633472638&sr=8-1 )

e. Coaching

f. Online Course

g. Anxiety and Cancer resource pages on www.sarahfenlonfalk.com

The Chaos of Cancer

Sun, 17 Oct 2021 10:35:00 -0700

The Chaos of Cancer – Podcast Interview with Katherine Marie

Calming the Chaos welcomes Katherine Marie, Speaker and Cancer Coach. Katherine tells her story about the chaos of having breast cancer. As October is breast cancer awareness month, Katherine shares her story about being a breast cancer survivor and Cancer Coach who speaks out about a variety of aspects of having cancer: from pre-diagnosis, treatment and beyond.

If you’ve ever received a cancer diagnosis, you can benefit from hearing Katherine’s story!

Introduction to Katherine: Who are you now?

Mom to boy/girl twins who were born prematurely, and both have special needs.
Cancer coach, working individually with people to provide emotional comfort or resources as they navigate cancer.
A speaker with topics such as moving from fear to action and creating an environment that is supportive of employees through wellness programs and a sense of community.
Katherine is also in the beginning stages of writing a book.

An overview of Chaos: “A state of disorganization, confusion, resulting from anything in our environment that throws us off balance, overwhelms or confuses us.

Katherine's Story of Cancer Chaos

Pre-diagnosis

- Chaos begins before a diagnosis when “an area of concern” was identified by the Radiologist, and Katherine was told she needed to go in for more testing

Skills used to calm her chaos:

1. Going into “Function Mode”

2. Asking her friend (who had cancer) for resources

3. Beginning to think about humor

4. Changing her mindset about double mastectomy from a tragic loss to a “clean slate,” where she can reconstruct whatever she wanted.

Cancer Diagnosis - Receiving the cancer diagnosis over the phone, from a stranger.

Skills used to calm her chaos:

1. Gathering information

2. Setting up and attending appointments

3. Laser focused on taking care of her family and getting well

Cancer Treatment – Surgery, followed by 5 months of chemo, 6 weeks radiation.

Lessons Learned:

1. Humor is important

2. Ask for and accept help from others

3. Learn to lower your expectations of what will get done

4. Care Calendar: www.carecalendar.org

Cancer Post-Treatment - Delayed reconstruction. 2016 I was moving forward physically, but not emotionally, until I read something by another cancer patient that made her realize she had to live NOW. At the same time, she was friends with someone dying from the same disease, living a healthy life.

Lessons Learned:

1. Honor the mourning process

2. Offer to help cancer patients

3. Validate emotions (this works for caregivers & family members)

4. Listen to the cancer patient’s unique language for describing their experience (Example: using battle language like “warrior,” and / or “survivor.” Or “remission” or “no evidence of disease.”)

5. Having open, honest conversations with people about how you feel, what you want and need.

How it affected your major life domains: (When cancer treatment ends, the side effects don’t necessarily end)

Physical - Fatigue, need more sleep now. Chemo brain, neuropathy, and lymphedema. All of these still need to be managed.

Emotional - Rollercoaster of emotions throughout. Now, there can be triggers, like BC Awareness Month. For Katherine, October means: encouraging screenings, communicating the on-going challenges of patients, and honoring those who have passed.

Vocational - Katherine was fortunate to work as a substitute (lunch lady), so my work was flexible. Post treatment, she was unable to do that work anymore due to ongoing physical limitations. (One reason she went back to school and started her business.)

Family / Social - Many cancer patients see a shift in relationships during or post diagnosis. Some people disappear from the patient's life during treatment. Katherine has noticed she has less patience for surface relationships and she seeks more meaningful connections now.

Tools / Techniques you can share to help others who have received a cancer diagnosis

The ABLE Strategy - Acknowledge, Breath (4-7-8 technique, which she demonstrates in a video, “My favorite breathing technique” on her YouTube channel, Inspired Vitality) at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoX9RYrnGvRxHFQyc2SZRXw
You can have cancer AND laughter. It’s not only ok, it’s good for you.
It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, rather, asking for help is a sign of emotional strength and maturity.

Katherine’s website: https://inspiredvitality.life/

Check out Katherine’s free download on her called “Chemo Go-bag Checklist.” This is intended for anyone who has recently been diagnosed with cancer and their treatment plan includes chemotherapy. It will help you prepare for your time at the cancer center.

Katherine also provides a complimentary consultation for people interested in exploring the option of individual coaching.

Social Media Links:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoX9RYrnGvRxHFQyc2SZRXw

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspiredVitalityMN

Twitter: https://twitter.com/InspiredMN

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherine-marie-831300179/

COVID Chaos in LGBTQ+ Communities

Sat, 02 Oct 2021 13:16:00 -0700

COVID Chaos in LGBTQ+ Communities – Podcast Interview with Dr. Matt Goldenberg

Calming the Chaos welcomes Dr. Matt Goldenberg, Psychologist, Psychotherapist and Teacher. Dr. Matt is a popular trainer, teacher and psychotherapist in Olympia, Washington who focuses on helping, treating and honoring those in marginalized communities, especially those who live within LGBTQ+ communities.

In this podcast, Dr. Matt talks about the COVID-19 Pandemic and why this pandemic has affected LGBTQ+ communities so profoundly. Dr. Matt also presents some ideas to help individuals in LGBTQ communities calm the chaos in a pandemic that is still ongoing.

Introduction to Dr. Matt Goldenberg, and your Involvement in the LGBTQ+ Community

Unique challenges / “chaos” to LGBTQ Individuals during the pandemic (all life domains)

Historical Trauma –

The HIV / AIDS Epidemic:

Historical Oppression of those who have HIV –where is the vaccine for HIV?

Vaccine for COVID-19, but lack for HIV

Systemic neglect of marginalized people

Emotions of Fear, Disappointment, Anger and

Hopefulness

Politicization: (Dr. Fauci, etc.)

Cis-Normative Inclusivity:

Normalizes non-trans and hetero persons, and blocks the LGBTQ+ communities

Cis-Hetero Normativity: Normalizes those whose biological gender is consistent with their expressed gender

Funding for programs to help marginalized individuals in these populations.

Social challenges –

Groups

Financial / jobs

Intersectionality:

There has been an impact on other marginalized populations, including black, Latino and other populations that intersect with LGBTQ+

Other life domains:

Poverty and the working class

Employment Discrimination

Unfavorable working conditions or lack of being able to telework

Underground economics

Bad working conditions = less ability to protect yourself from COVID

Lack of protections for the working class

Privileged people can protect themselves better

Emotional trends

Isolation and psychological stress

Suicidality increases with those who refuse to honor pronouns

Feeling excluded, unwanted, hopeless, suicidal

Solutions: Tools and strategies for LGBTQ individuals to access when in chaos

Sharing messages

Respecting preferred pronouns

Training on LGBTQ+ populations

Training on strategies of inclusion

Be aware of physical safety for vulnerable populations

Support mental health and access to healthcare

Empowerment strategies for vulnerable populations

Social Support

Dr. Matt Goldenberg’s website: https://drmattgoldenberg.com/

Other resources

US Trans Survey at https://transequality.org/issues/us-trans-survey

Trevor Project at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Fedup Collective at https://fedupcollective.org/

Translifeline.org at https://translifeline.org/

Matt’s Trainings and more!

Trainings: https://drmattgoldenberg.com/trainings/

Supervision: https://drmattgoldenberg.com/supervision/

Counseling: https://drmattgoldenberg.com/counseling/

October is National LGBTQ+ History Month https://nationaldaycalendar.com/lgbt-history-month-october-2/

October 11 is National Coming Out Day https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day

Closing: LGBTQ+ people are marginalized…AND…they are:

Resilient / Strong

Brilliant

Creative / Rich in Knowledge

Respectful

The Chaos of Menopause

Wed, 29 Sep 2021 18:33:00 -0700

The Chaos of Menopause –Interview with Debi and Georgia of “The Heart Core Warriors”

Calming the Chaos welcomes Debi Wallbank and Georgia Manning of “The Heart Core Warriors.” Debi and Georgia are on a mission to eliminate the stigma and the trauma of menopause. They are both extremely passionate when talking about menopause, which can also be a source of chaos and trauma for women as they go through it.

The goal: Debi and Georgia hope to help women calm the chaos of menopause. We start by meeting Debi and Georgia and hearing their story. We then discover what happens in the body during menopause, why menopause fits the definition of chaos, and how it can be traumatic. We then talk about some ways to help the system regain balance using some tips, tools and techniques offered by Debi and Georgia.

Introductions: Debi and Georgia

Debi: Just a few years ago, Debi struggled with a lack of self confidence. She hated looking at herself, hearing her own voice and literally ran away from the camera! Debi had no clue about online presence, engagement and creating valuable content. Fast forward a few years and Debi has created freedom for herself by building online businesses, utilising social media to market herself and has grown her own confidence IMMEASURABLY by learning from peers, taking action and creating an authentic personal brand!

Debi now teaches other people to do the same - embrace their personalities and true values to become the best version of themselves and grow an instantly recognisable brand online as well as having exponential growth in self worth and belief.

Georgia: Not so long ago, Georgia was debilitated by a crippling lack of self connection which affected

her ability to self regulate and maintain inner calm. This disconnect resulted in rampant addictions which were injurious to her mental and physical wellbeing. Today... Through integrative holistic modalities, using a 'from the bottom up' approach, feeling centred mindfulness of the emotions and feelings, expanding awareness and uncovering beliefs that before prevented her from living a fully engaged life - now Georgia has self compassion, trust in her inner guidance system and ability to acknowledge and accept herself holistically.

Georgia now shares these methods, including Breathwork and TFT, to help others reassess themselves and their previous life experiences. In turn, this enables them to have a positive and curative response to a situation rather than reactive. This gives her Clients the belief and power to manage any scenario in an effective way.

What is menopause, and what happens to the body and the mind during menopause:

PeriMenopause

('around menopause') is the stage where oestrogen levels start to drop. This is

when symptoms are typically at their worst. You will still be menstruation

during this time but it will become less frequent. This stage can on average 4

yrs but can last up to 10 years. Typically between 40-50 yrs but can start in

30s and in rare cases, 20s.

You do not enter menopause until you have had no menstruation cycles for at least 12 months.

Symptoms are still present but should start to decrease at this point. Menopause also lasts on average 4yrs. Once symptoms have ceased, you are in postmenopause but you are never actually 'out of' or

'through' menopause.

There are 34 officially recognised symptoms but in truth there are many more (list 34+)

How doesmenopause fit the definition of chaos? (Chaos = “A state of disorganization, confusion, disorder and overwhelm in a system.”)

a. In menopause, the system is thrown off balance, which creates chaos & trauma

b. Hormonal changes affect sleep, energy levels, brain cognition, memory etc which can be scary and cause panic

Tips, tools and techniques to help you calm the chaos of menopause by helping the system (body and mind) to regain balance:

Breathwork

Mindset

Gut health

Orienting

Somatic experiencing

Regulating sleep cycles

HeartMath

Morning/evening routines

Products and services you have to offer (list)

21 day virtual retreat, 4 times a year

121 coaching

Online courses

Free 5 day holistic workshop

Website:

https://theheartcorewarriors.wixsite.com/heartcorewarriors

The Heart

Core Warriors on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwfHONExp7ErzBQUdbieoWw/videos

https://pin.it/4xswCNT

All Social

Media Links at Allmylinks

https://allmylinks.com/heartcorewarriors

Men in Chaos

Sun, 19 Sep 2021 18:52:00 -0700

Men in Chaos – Podcast Interview with Ben Killoy

Calming the Chaos welcomes Ben Killoy, US Marine Corps Veteran, husband, father and host of two podcasts: “The Military Veteran Dad” and “The Business of Fatherhood.” He is also the author of a book called “The Five Steps to Achieving an Authentic Life.”

In this podcast, Ben talks about how men can learn to remain calm in the face of chaos. He challenges men to view Fatherhood in a whole new way by “Bringing every Dad Home.” This challenge moves beyond the deployment of soldiers back to their physical homes and families. Rather, Ben encourages all men to find a home inside themselves. By accessing a calm place within their own hearts so that they can help themselves, men can then help their families and their communities move through experiences of chaos.

The goal: To share Ben’s story of chaos being a man, a father, a husband and a Marine. Ben also shares how he was able to develop tools and strategies to help himself and many other men access a calm place within their own hearts so that they can help themselves, their families and their communities move through experiences of chaos.

Introduction to Ben

1. Who are you now?
2. Share your story of how you got to where you are now
An overview of Chaos: “A state of disorganization, confusion, resulting from anything in our environment that throws us off balance, overwhelms or confuses us.
1. Stereotypes (males, Dads, husbands, Military, leaders)
2. What do men do when chaos comes? How to calm the storms?
3. Do men get scared? (Internalizing fear)
4. Other issues of chaos (“chaos of the heart, wired from a man”)
Issues of chaos specific to men
1. Understand and know where you are at (vs. finding the goal)
Tools and strategies for men to access when in chaos

GPS analogy: “We know where we are going, but without knowing where we are at, how can we start?”
Part of calming the chaos is knowing where to start

1. The legacy and the destination
Ben’s podcast https://www.militaryveterandad.com/podcast/
1. https://www.benkilloy.com/listen
2. Ben’s Website link: https://www.militaryveterandad.com/ and Benkilloy.com
Listen shortcuts https://www.militaryveterandad.com/listen

Book link: https://www.amazon.com/Five-Steps-Achieving-Authentic-Life-ebook/dp/B07FL9KF1T

Transcending Chaos

Sun, 05 Sep 2021 19:41:00 -0700

Transcending Chaos – Podcast Interview with Victoria Shaw

Calming the Chaos welcomes Victoria Shaw, Psychologist, Licensed Counselor, Author and Intuitive. She also has a podcast called “Intuitive Connection.”

Victoria Shaw is Licensed Professional Counselor and Spiritual Coach who combines her background and training in psychology and counseling with her intuitive gifts to help clients heal, grow and realize their spiritual and full personal potential. She takes a holistic approach to counseling, addressing clients’ concerns on the mind/body/spiritual levels. She especially loves working with people who are committed to using their struggles and life experiences to fuel their own spiritual awakening. Victoria is the author of four self-help books for parents, children and teens, the host of Intuitive Connection podcast, and the mother of two spirited (now adult) children.

In this podcast, Victoria Shaw, PhD, talks about how she was able to move away from a near constant state of stress and anxiety in her life by learning to connect with her intuition and “inner wisdom.” Victoria will help you learn ways that you can access and use your inner wisdom to transcend chaos and make wise choices during times where you are thrown off balance.

The goal: To share Victoria’s story and her “two different lives,” to present an overview of intuition, and to encourage people to develop inner wisdom so that they will have an additional tool to help them calm the chaos.

Victoria introduces herself
“My Two different lives” – Before Intuition and Afterward

What is intuition, anyway?

We’re all intuitive
Your soul’s wisdom, or your “Spiritual GPS”
Some healers with alternative methods of healing (i.e., acupuncture, energy healing, etc.) presented themselves on her path and she followed

How she was able to access the power of intuition to transcend stress and anxiety

An overview of Chaos: “A state of disorganization, confusion, resulting from anything in our environment that throws us off balance, overwhelms or confuses us.

Question for Victoria: When you are in this state of chaos, how can people activate intuition so that they can be more confident making decisions and successfully manage a chaotic world?

Make a Commitment
Listen to what shows up
Trust what shows up
Follow what shows up
Grow Confidence in your intuition over time

Using your inner wisdom to help you calm the chaos with Decision Making

Intuitive Pros and Cons list: Journal about what excites me, what worries me
Intuitive toolbox: Victoria can help you find the key at 28:14
Story Time: “The hot bath and the Midas Touch” at 30:20

Promotions or products: Go to Victoria’s Website at

https://www.victoriashawintuitive.com and look at the online and live courses, her podcast and coaching opportunities and @victoriashawintuitive.

Family Chaos!

Mon, 31 May 2021 15:41:00 -0700

Family Chaos – Podcast Interview with Lester and Christie Seligman

Lester and Christie Seligman join Calming the Chaos for a fun conversation about family chaos. Through the Pandemic, Lester and Christie had their adult children return home to live. As a family they also faced a number of additional related and unrelated stressors. Lester and Christie share their stories of chaos in a lighthearted and upbeat way, and also share their secrets about how they managed to calm their chaos during an exceptionally stressful time.

The goal: For Lester and Christie to share their stories of chaos through the Pandemic.

Introduce yourselves, and give an overview of your family situation (no names are necessary)
Tell some of the stories of chaos, and how you handled them. Stories include, but are not limited to the following:

Living in a 2300 sq ft with 4 adult couples, 3 dogs and 1 cat
The garbage/recycling/storage needs of all people under one roof
Figuring out grocery bills
Dealing with conflicting dietary restrictions/preferences
The story of work: young adults working primarily in retail, restaurants and daycare led to 8 different COVID scares - at one point
6 weeks in a row, someone came home reporting a coworker exposure and needing to be tested before returning to work
How to handle the lack of privacy for all of the family members
Handling the daily work stresses in a house full of people working in essential services during a pandemic
Christie’s Dad being diagnosed with inoperable cancer in the midst of everything
Adopting my Dad and his wife's dog as they moved into a long-term care facility
Privacy concerns, and not being able to say anything in this house without someone walking in and asking "What?!"
Other stories?

The most important things to remember for handling chaos in a family (Lester and Christie)
Any other tips that have helped you cope with
Adult children returning home: Make it a community / Commune
Pandemic-related chaos: Take each incident one at a time (“This….and..”)
Unexpected events: Get support from each other!
Keeping a marriage together: Mindset of positivity, self-care
Keeping peace in the family: White noise, fans, play games together, learn and grow!

Lester and Christie will have been married 30 years this November. They have three young adult children ages 21, 25 and 29 years old.

Christie is a licensed mental health counselor and former administrator with Developmental Disabilities Administration. She currently operates a private practice specializing in eating and anxiety disorders. During the pandemic, she started a new business, Green Zone Training and Consultation Group, with two colleagues and together have created a Positive Behavior Support Program Designed with Caregivers in Mind.

Lester recently expunged himself from the restaurant industry, vowing never to return. He is currently preparing to redefine himself through creative writing projects and during the pandemic has embraced being a house husband and has mastered the German Chocolate Cake.

Green Zone – Training & Consultation Group (greenzonesupport.com)

Internal Wizardry: A Dream Reflection Journal: Seligman LMHC, Christie L, Ryalls, Janice S: 9798556560178: Amazon.com: Books

The Chaos of 38DDD

Sun, 23 May 2021 16:41:00 -0700

The Chaos of 38DDD – Podcast Interview with Michaela Cox

Calming the Chaos welcomes Author Michaela Cox to a Live Podcast Interview on YouTube. Michaela shares her interesting and chaotic journey through life. She refers to her journey as “My 38DDD,” which includes three main aspects: Disability, Divorce and Death by 38 years of age.

In addition to her story, Michaela shares a formula she has developed that has helped her in her chaotic journey through the Triple Ds. Michaela also introduces her upcoming book on her life story, called “Now I See.” Michaela and Tracy will also be answering questions from the live chat!

The goal: To share Michaela’s story, and a message that encourages people to develop resilience through chaotic life experiences.

Michaela introduces herself (who she is and what she is doing personally and professionally)
1. The chaos of the First D: Disability of lifelong legal blindness
Interview with Michaela: “The Chaos of the 38DDD”

Michaela’s Story
Helpful ways of coping with the chaos of legal blindness
1. Say “no” to what isn’t working
2. Explore other options
3. Access resources
4. Family support

The chaos of the Second D: Divorce at age 26

Michaela’s Story
Helpful ways of coping with the chaos of divorce
1. Express your needs in the relationship
2. Boundaries: what am I willing to tolerate?
3. Counseling, expressing, spiritual consultations
4. Doing everything you can
5. Knowing when to let go

The chaos of the Third D: Death of a beloved Husband at age 38

Michaela’s Story
Helpful ways of coping with the chaos of sudden death of a loved one
1. This was the most difficult
2. All other experiences helped Michaela cope with this one
3. Resources, accessing help
4. Spirituality and purpose

The four-step method for managing chaos:
1. Life is a choice
2. Mind over matter – mindset is key
3. Self-care
4. Getting resources

Talk about your books, including your upcoming book / autobiography “Now I See.”
Michaela’s Website link: https://www.myheartfeltmeditations.com

The Chaos of Depression

Sun, 09 May 2021 00:49:00 -0700

The Chaos of Depression – Moving through the Shadows of Depression with Zach Rutledge

Calming the Chaos welcomes Zack Rutledge, M.A.to a Live Podcast on YouTube. Zack is an ACE Certified Trainer, Fitness Nutrition Specialist and Brain Health Trainer. Zack is also a black belt in Karate, and has practiced Yoga for over 10 years.

In this interview, Zack will share his stories about how he has struggled with depression, and about how he moved from a dark part of his life into understanding and coping with depression. He also talks about a book he has written, called “The Official Depression Relief Playbook.” Zack and Tracy will also be answering questions from the live chat!

The goal: To help people recognize signs of depression, and learn some skills to move through the shadows of depression through Zack’s stories and personal experiences.

Tracy gives a brief intro to Zack
1. History, when he first noticed signs of depression
2. His emotional reaction and behaviors toward depression
3. Was there any chaos here?
4. Stories about depression, including:
Interview with Zack

The dark time with Music and bands
Film / TV and Radio

Other stories of depression

Pulling out of the depression – How he did it (does this include the certifications and the black belt / yoga practices?)

Change in career direction during COVID-19

How did this change in direction happen? (tell the story)
What helped you have the courage to make the career change?

E-book – tell the story of it’s development, including how you published it, and on Audible

A future as a Mental Health Counselor (LPC) in the future

Helpful tools for managing depression (both Zack and Tracy)
Zack’s links:

Amazon Link for Zack’s Book, “The Official Depression Relief Playbook” https://amzn.to/3xUVGY1

Zack’s Facebook Group:

https://www.facebook.com/theofficialdepressionreliefplaybook

Helpful Resources:

Black Dog of Depression Cartoon Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc

A Mindful Way Through Depression Book: https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Way-through-Depression-Unhappiness-ebook/dp/B007T9FZRS

Meyers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI Quiz) https://practicalpie.com/myers-briggs-type-indicator/

Free Resources from “The Happiness Trap” https://thehappinesstrap.com/free-resources/

Chaos in Relationships

Sat, 01 May 2021 23:25:00 -0700

Ask the Professionals - Red Flags in Relationships

Calming the Chaos welcomes Laura Vaillancourt, M.A., LMHC, GMHS of Eldercare Counseling & Guidance Services onto a Live Podcast on YouTube. We talk about how to identify red flags in relationships, and how to overcome the chaos that can come with establishing a new relationship, whether it is a friendship, romantic, or online. Laura and Tracy also answer questions from the live chat!

The goal: To help people learn to detect red flags in a relationships, and what signs can indicate a good relationship

Friendships (“Fren-amies”)
1. Pace of getting to know you is too fast (“TMI”)
2. Not respecting Boundaries (physical / emotional) or giving advice
3. Gut Instinct tells you there may be something suspicious (intuition)
4. Discreet forms of envy (“I hate you…You’re so skinny!”) or they fish for compliments
5. Put-downs, shaming, namecalling or guilting (emotional manipulation) or bragging
6. Gossiping about people or dislikes your friends
7. Dishonesty, “forgetting,” insensitivity or overly sensitive
8. Asking for money or substance use problems
9. Triangulation
10. Cutting you off / not responding (Passive aggression)
1. Expensive Gifts / buying you things, treating you to meals, not allowing you to pay
2. Being too agreeable
3. Too much or too little communication with you (insensitive to your boundaries)
4. Putting pressure on you to spend more time together / sexual intimacy
5. Controlling / possessive behavior (checking your phone or restricting your socializing)
6. Isolating, alienating you from other friends or family
7. Emotional abuse (gaslighting, deflecting, namecalling, accusing
8. Yelling, screaming, threatening
9. Angels and Demons (extreme thinking)
10. Passive Aggression (not answering your phone calls or leaving you on “read.”)
11. You feel like you are walking on eggshells
12. You feel like you aren’t safe to share feelings
13. They are defensive, insecure, or unable to take constructive feedback
14. They threaten suicide
15. There is a contentious separation with ex / ex is still involved with their life
Romantic (obvious: Physical abuse, infidelity)
1. Timmy has a story he wants to share about how he was approached on Instagram
2. Asking for your personal information too soon
3. Asking you for money
4. Using pet names for you, like “honey
5. Asking you for pictures, height / weight, etc.
6. Giving you intrusive pictures of them
7. Not giving you their real name
8. Not on camera, or fake pictures used
9. They badmouth other people online
10. They treat others in a cruel or unfair way online
11. They are blindly loyal to a person, idea or concept
12. They have a narrow view of the world and others, and aren’t open-minded to the truth
13. They lie about you online
14. They assume your intentions
15. They don’t “get” what you are saying, despite you saying it over and over again
Online
Scenarios from Chat or ones that Laura and Tracy come up with (see attached)
1. Honesty / Integrity
2. Consistency
3. Flexibility
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Forgiveness
7. Respect
8. Adaptability
9. Vulnerability
10. Interdependence
11. “Carefrontation”
12. You feel comfortable in their presence, and being with them is easy! (Not a “job.”)
Traits of a good relationship (friendship, romance and online)

Additional Resources:

Dr. Todd Grande talks about…

7 signs of a Toxic Relationship, listen at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpV9HPY7tSQ

10 Signs of a Toxic Personality, listen at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYP0EtjCWuM

Find Meaning Through Chaos!

Fri, 09 Apr 2021 23:01:00 -0700

Finding Meaning Through Chaos

Calming the Chaos welcomes Francie White, Ph.D. and Maria Rippo, M.A. onto a Live YouTube Show on Monday, April 5, 2021 at 1pm PST. We will talk about how painful and chaotic experiences can help you find meaning in life, and can prepare you to better cope with life’s challenges!

The goal: To help people see
1. That we have a deficit of meaning in our lives
2. Because we lack meaning in our lives, we have more chaos in our lives
3. How can we find a meaningful life that has purpose and value?
4. How finding meaning can calm the chaos
What do we mean by “Meaning?”
1. What draws you in, makes you excited, fills you with passion
2. A sense of purpose, awe and wonder, inspiration at heightened levels

There is a deficit / “Crisis” of felt-meaning amongst people in our culture (The collective)
1. “When you lack meaning in your life, this is what happens.”
  1. Empty, lonely and lost
  2. Without direction, faith or hope

Escape from the self that has no meaning or purpose

Reaching out for shallow sources of meaning

A solution (among individuals and the collective)
1. Create more meaning in your life
2. Feel like your life has purpose

Sense your own unique value in life

Share your talents, strengths and gifts with others who are struggling

Francie’s Story of how she moved through chaos and found a meaningful life
Maria’s Story of how she moved through chaos and found a meaningful life

What can all of us do to find meaning, raise consciousness, shift the paradigm, and increase better manage our lives:

TED Talk #1: Emotions and Meaning: Dr. Alan Watkins, founder of Complete Coherence, introduces the key phases of human development and explains why poor emotional control is holding back progress. He asks us to imagine a world where we never have to feel anything we don’t want to feel; where we have complete control of what we feel and when we feel it. He also has an app called Universe of Emotions where you can track your emotions and change them. Check out the talk here: https://youtu.be/h-rRgpPbR5w

TED Talk #2: Michael F. Steger is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Colorado State University. He has spent more than a decade researching people's ability to find meaning in their lives and the benefits of living a meaningful life. In his talk, he asks the question "What Makes Life Meaningful?" and will share what psychological science can tell us about the answer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLFVo...

Iain Mcgilchrist TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/iain_mcgilchrist_the_divided_brain

Iain Mcgilchrist Interview Transcript: https://relationalimplicit.com/zug/transcripts/McGilchrist-2014-01.pdf

“The Divided Brain” book by Iain Mcgilchrist: https://www.amazon.com/Divided-Brain-Search-Meaning-ebook/dp/B008JE7I2M

The Chaos of Trauma

Sat, 13 Mar 2021 00:19:00 -0700

Episode Title: “The Chaos of Trauma”

Description: Sarah Buino, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), joins Calming the Chaos for a livestream show on YouTube to talk about the chaos of childhood trauma. Sarah will also share about how she helps her adult clients calm the chaos of their childhood trauma using a variety of different healing techniques, including NARM (neuro-affective relational model).

Sarah Buino, LCSW, RDDP, CADC, CDWF is a speaker, teacher, therapist and the founder of Head/Heart Therapy in Chicago. She is a licensed clinical social worker, registered dual diagnosis professional, certified addictions counselor, NARM Therapist and a Certified Daring WayTM facilitator.

You can access Sarah’s website at https://headhearttherapy.com/

Sarah’s Podcasts:

Conversations with a Wounded Healer: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-with-a-wounded-healer/id1356225272
Transforming Trauma: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/transforming-trauma/id1496190024

Email Tracy at Calming the Chaos at calmingthec@gmail.com

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Playlists): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

Main iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

Email Tracy at calmingthec@gmail.com

Tracy also created a mindfulness CD called “On This Day.” This CD teaches you how to practice mindfulness in less than 10 minutes throughout the day. Practicing mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress and increase clear thinking in times of chaos.

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Worried Women in Chaos

Sun, 07 Mar 2021 03:24:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Worried Women in Chaos”

Guest name: Elizabeth “Biz” Cush. Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), Business Owner, Podcaster and Blogger in Annapolis, Maryland. Biz hosts Woman Worriers, a podcast for anxious women. In her private practice, Progression Counseling, she helps men and women who feel overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out find more connection with themselves and others, allowing them to live their lives with more ease, intention, and purpose. She’s worked in the mental health field for over 10 years, is a certified clinical trauma professional and she incorporates mindfulness and meditation into her psychotherapy work with individuals and groups.

In this podcast: Biz introduces herself and describes the work she does to help “Women Worriers.” Tracy and Biz discuss the top worries of women in today’s society, and talk about how to help women clear their minds and behave in ways where they are helping their mental wellbeing.

Worry #1: The Pandemic has changed our way of life

Top worries within the Pandemic include:

Losing a loved one
Being perceived as not careful about prevention or being careful enough
Being excluded by others in social gatherings, being out to the loop
Getting sick
Dying…and being responsible for someone’s death
Doing the right thing for yourself and others

All of this is SO HEAVY!

Worry #2: Our Lifestyles have Changed

Kids are at home
We’re working at home
Online school, and parents aren’t teachers
Partner coordination

Worry #3: Relationships have Changed

Families are learning how to cooperate with each other
Family members make sacrifices
Silver linings include a mindful consideration of…
- What I want to keep, hold on to, approach
- What I want to avoid, discard, move away from

Worry #4: The chaos before the Pandemic – where do we go now?

Rushing around to accomplish things
Being forced to shut down
Finding things to worry about
Keeping a balance between work and life

Worry #5: Food, Eating and Body Changes

Are we drifting into complacency, avoiding?
Are we creating in-sustainability?
What about self-soothing using chocolate?

Worry #6: Political / Social Worries

The Capitol Insurrection
A lot of stress and worry about our future
People dying
Governor Hogan

Ways of Coping

Hope
Look to each other for strength
Consider what has gotten us through
Gratitude
Looking at the positive
Consciously bringing in the positive
Finding joy, being aware of the joy
Laughter and smiling
The laugh club (Marsha Linehan and Dawson Church)
Music to create positive emotions
Simple Self-Care:

Ask: What do I need?
Ask: Who can support me so that I receive what I need?

Worry and fear: Cognitive reframing tips

“This will pass”
This is a part of life”
This will get better
I may feel stuck, and it won’t stay that way

Visit Biz on her website at https://www.progressioncounseling.com/

Listen to Biz on her podcast at the following sites:

iTunes / Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/woman-worriers/id1354079086?app=itunes&mt=2

Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93b21hbndvcnJpZXJzLmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/64SRf073AoPVAAg8TEyc4i

Elizabeth Cush has been a featured guest on these podcasts: Sacred Psychology, Women In Depth, The Practice Of Being Seen , and Selling The Couch, the Soul-filled Sisterhood, The Therapy Show, and Hypnotize Me, and A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. She’s also an expert contributor for Good Therapy, a guest contributor to the Happily Imperfect Blog on Psych Central and has been quoted in articles for The List, Teen Vogue, Tonic, Best Life, Bustle Thriveworks, UpJourney and The Paper Gown.

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Playlists): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

Main iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

Email Tracy at calmingthec@gmail.com

Racial Chaos

Sun, 28 Feb 2021 19:22:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Racial Chaos”

Intro: In this episode, Tracy talks with Kasey Louis, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with a private counseling practice in Olympia, Washington. They discuss the sensitive topic of race / racism, and specifically how it affects women of color in our world today. As a woman of color herself, Kasey shares a variety of stories about her direct experiences with racism, and shares some of her ideas about what people can do to better understand and support people of color.

Introduction: “Kasey, tell us a bit about yourself….”

Women of color and the unique struggles they have in their lives today

Kasey tells her stories, and how she coped with racism / profiling in the following areas:

School (Valedictorian story)
Military

College

Being a Mom with children in school)
Counseling Practice (The guy at your office door)

Some of the strategies Kasey has used to cope with racism / profiling include:

Think of who your are “Your foundation”)
Calm your emotional chaos

Remember your values, principles, faith

Speak the truth, know when to “defend” and when to advocate
Ask a person their name, listen to their stories
Validate them

Educate them person by person,
Call attention to any of their assumptions

Encourage them to ask questions
Try and find the joy and the lesson in the tough situations
Don’t let them limit you!

What can we do to be more culturally responsive and to better understand and support people of color? (Ideas)

Awareness: continue to help people to be aware that this IS an issue
Get to know each other…. person to person
Share stories and experiences with each others
Acknowledge and validate people’s struggles
Ask questions instead of assuming something about them
Don’t be limited by others…and don’t limit yourself!
Continue the conversation

The Chaos of Pet Loss

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 01:14:00 -0700

Episode Title: “The Chaos of Pet Loss”

Intro: In this episode of Calming the Chaos, Tracy responds to a listener’s request to do a video about the chaos that can happen when losing a beloved pet. Tracy tells her personal stories of pet loss and describes how she coped through all of the pet losses through over 25 years of being a pet owner.

Additional resources can be found here:

The Rainbow Bridge https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/

Tracy and Lila doing Yoga! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO-G-...

Hawaiian Practice of Ho'oponopono by Tracy Kenela https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PySM...

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Playlists): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

Main iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

Email Tracy at calmingthec@gmail.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Short Blurb:

In this episode of Calming the Chaos, Tracy responds to a listener’s request to do a video about the chaos that can happen when losing a beloved pet. Tracy tells her personal stories of pet loss and describes how she coped through all of the pet losses through over 25 years of being a pet owner.

#mentalhealth #petloss #mourning #petgrief #copingwithpetdeath #chaosofpetloss

YouTube Episode Links YouTube for video version https://youtu.be/iwIHIWHLNMc

Libsyn full page feed: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/calmingthechaos/id/17921153

The Chaos of COVID-19

Fri, 12 Feb 2021 02:46:00 -0700

Episode Title: “The Chaos of COVID-19”

Intro: In this episode, Tracy is live on YouTube, talking with Sarah Lipton, Author, Public Speaker and Podcaster. Sarah talks about how she and her family have survived COVID-19 using a method of “leaning in.” Join Tracy as she and Sarah discuss how they have calmed their chaos during COVID-19, and about how both of them are learning to “lean into chaos.

Find Sarah’s book, podcast and more at www.sarahlipton.com

Here is a link to Sarah’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQqxYNgwzAiPJIyydBd4Sgg

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Playlists): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

Main iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

Email Tracy at calmingthec@gmail.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Learning Through Chaos

Sat, 19 Dec 2020 02:46:00 -0700

Episode Title: “We Learn Through Chaos”

Intro: In this episode, Tracy interviews Lisa Mustard, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Podcaster and Educator. Lisa talks about how she developed Podcourses, which provide Continuing Education Credits (CEUs) to Licensed Counselors that are convenient, enjoyable and fun! We also talk about how Lisa calmed her chaos as a wife, mother of two, and a successful podcaster while developing and implementing her Podcourses. If you are a therapist who wants an enjoyable way to earn CEUs… or… if you’d like to develop your own Podcourses, Lisa’s interview will help you begin your journey!

Introduction to Lisa Mustard

Therapist in the Military population led to burnout
In addressing her burnout, she learned to work smarter….not harder
Lisa Visualized a more effective way to educate therapists at their convenience
The idea of Podcourses was born!

Podcourses – What are they?

It’s a podcast you listen to and get credit for listening through a self-study quiz
The information is free…and…if you want credits, you can purchase a Podcourse
Lisa’s group “The Talk Therapy Lounge” is at
It’s about therapists who want to be on podcasts, or for therapists who have podcasts and want therapist to provide education

Process – Before you go to the NBCC (National Board of Certified Counselors)

State process – Most States require National Board of Certified Counselor
Legal paperwork and business entity verification
Create Learning Objectives: for a CEU podcast, 3-4 learning objectives
Contact Experts in their field
Talk for 60 minutes and take notes on each course
Create a self-study quiz and evaluation
Certificate of completion
Keep records
Learning management system
Send them a check

Calming the Chaos while you wait for Approval
- It took so long!
- I have to create the content
- The red tape requirements
- The evaluations
- How will I market it?
- Platform – “LearnDash” or another platform?
- It will cost money!
- Should I be spending my energy on this?
- Will they accept me?
- Working with the IT professional
Skills Learned along the way
- “The Headless Way” Interview with Richard Lang
- Meditation in the simplest way: Who we are at center
- Exercise: Who are we at center?
- When you point your finger at yourself…who are you
- What is presenting?
- Let things happen, and let things be!
How to sign up for Podcourses
- Go onto Lisa’s website
- Listen to the Podcourse
- Take the quiz
- Get your certificate!
Listen to Lisa’s Podcast! There are a variety of different subjects, but I love that Lisa has brought attention to Eating Disorders (which is my specialty area)

Midlife Magic!

Contact Lisa Mustard:

https://lisamustard.com/

https://lisamustard.com/the-therapy-show/

https://lisamustard.com/podcourses/

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Videos): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

YouTube (Playlists): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

Main iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

Email Tracy at calmingthec@gmail.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Holiday Food Chaos

Sun, 29 Nov 2020 01:37:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Chaotic Holiday Eating”

Intro: In this episode, Tracy interviews Stacy Schilter-Pisano, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Eating Disorders Specialist / Supervisor, and Site Manager at The Emily Program in Lacey, WA. Stacy and Tracy help listeners understand why some people struggle with food, eating and body image, especially during the Holidays.

Why do people experience chaos around food, especially during the Holidays?

Internal Stressors = Thoughts that are distressing. 60% of the time, people are thinking: What did I eat? What will I eat? What do I look like? What do I weigh?
External Stressors = Situations or events that happen in the world that are distressing
- Family togetherness when family members make negative comments
- Isolation from family or friends during the time of expected togetherness
- Financial concerns
- Busy Schedules, School and Work
- Returning home from college during the holidays and facing possible judgment
- Family comments about how your body has changed (appearance-related comments)
- COVID-19 and the impact of isolation on our body shape and size
TIP: Be aware of / avoid any appearance-related comments (i.e. “You’ve got that COVID-19” or “You look great…you’ve lost weight”)
TIP: Focus your comments on the person, and who they are (vs. what they look like)

Food-Related Stressors: Family Comments about Food
- “I shouldn’t be eating this” or “Today is my cheat day”
  1. TIP: Enjoy the food and the company without excessive comments or pressure on yourself or others
- “What you’re eating doesn’t look very good” or “You can really put it away”
  1. TIP: Be mindful of your comments on someone else’s eating experiences
- “You need to eat more (or less)”
  1. TIP: Be supportive! Keep your loved ones out of the spotlight
- “I’ll need to work this meal off later”
  1. TIP: Keep the focus off the effects of the food – appreciate food and family
- “I’ll starve myself for the big meal, then go to town eating.”
  1. TIP: This effects blood sugar, and sets us up for overeating later. It’s best to regulate your eating all the time to keep blood sugar regulated.

Fear Foods: Look at the Pie!
- Pie Thought #1: “I’m afraid of the pie.”
- Pie Thought #2: “I never get pie. I want pie!”
- Pie Thought #3: “This pie will make me gain weight”
- Pie Thought #4: “This pie will make me behave in ways I don’t want!”
- Pie Thought #5: “Am I expected to eat this pie?”
- Pie Thought #6: “Who made the pie? What’s in it?”
- Pie Thought #7: “What will people think if they see me eating the pie?”
- Pie Thought #8: “Someone expects me to eat this pie now!”
- Pie Thought #9: “Maybe this pie isn’t so bad…it has fruit in it.”
- Pie Thought #10: “What are the ingredients? Is the pie safe?”
- Pie Thought #11: “I’ll avoid the unhealthy crust”
TIPS to handle internal, external and food-related chaos

TIP: Attend to your body’s actual experience of hunger and fullness

TIP: Speak the truth about your hunger and fullness

TIP: Think about and enforce your own food boundaries

TIP: Honor and respect your own food choices, and the choices of others

TIP: Empower each other to make our own wise choices with food

TIP: Stay on your own plate!

TIP: Know who is at your table and cope ahead (try not to “catastrophize”)

TIP: Have a safety plan and / or a support person to contact

TIP: Take a breath and consider leaving the area for a bit

TIP: Talk yourself through it like a best friend would

TIP: View yourself through a compassionate, non-judgmental lens – be kind to yourself!

Bonus Tips
- Stay out of the WEB
  1. Avoid comments about Weight
  2. Avoid comments about Eating Behaviors

Avoid comments about body weight, size and shape

Approach your loved ones for support
Practice body attunement, noticing hunger and fullness and responding appropriately
Set and keep food boundaries
Be non-judgmental, compassionate and flexible
Practice mindfulness for flexibility (our pets can teach us!)

Information about Stacy and The Emily Program:

Visit The Emily program at The Emily Program - A national leader in eating disorders

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Videos): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

Email Tracy at calmingthec@gmail.com

Tracy also created a mindfulness CD called “On This Day” that teaches you how to practice mindfulness in less than 10 minutes throughout the day. Practicing mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress and increase clear thinking in times of chaos.

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Chaotic Suggestions

Sun, 29 Nov 2020 00:09:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Chaotic Suggestions”

Intro: In this episode, Tracy interviews Dr. Liz Slonena PsyD of “Dr. Liz Listens” YouTube channel. Dr. Liz describes the work she does helping people calm mental and emotional chaos through hypnotherapy, and how she helps people attain success in their lives using the power of positive suggestion.

Introduction to the power of suggestion by Tracy Kenela
- Negative Suggestions: “Bad Boy” or “You ought to be ashamed of yourself”
- Positive Suggestions: “You’re very creative” or “I like the way you’re doing that”

The way you view yourself or the conclusions you make about yourself in early childhood can affect the decisions you make as well as your behaviors. The goal of hypnotherapy is to use the power of positive suggestion to reprogram any negative conclusions you’ve made about yourself in the past so that you can improve any problem behaviors you have in the present.

Introduction to Dr. Liz Slonena, PsyD, of “Dr. Liz Listens” Your Zen Within | Relax with Dr. Liz - YouTube
- “There are no accidents!”
- Pain and suffering can be transforming
The ways we can do Hypnotherapy to Calm the Chaos of their Minds:

Overwhelmed, overstressed people who want to stress less and live more
Mindful Hypnotherapy helps, and you can do it anytime and anywhere

Process:

Do a thorough, holistic assessment to get a firm diagnosis
Clarifying “You’re not crazy” you are just experiencing anxiety
Present them with evidenced-based therapy choices for treatment, such as CBT, ACT and EMDR
Integrate Hypnotherapy to any of the above treatment choices
Hypnotherapy helps you relax and bypass the hyper-critical frontal-lobe, which makes it easier to transform and change

“Hypnotherapy plus an evidence-based therapy often outperforms the evidenced-based therapy alone.”

It could involve a regression, which is going back in time to the original source of pain
It also could involve a body response to the trauma (abreactions and / or going into a shock state)
Positive Dissociation is a wonderful opportunity to practice mindful noticing, without judgment, what is going on in the body, following what is going on and watch it move through the body
Traumatic reactions are the ways in which mind and body try to protect you!
It takes time to work through “stuck responses” in hypnotherapy

More thoughts on using Hypnotherapy to move you toward successful healing

Tracy: When pain shows up in areas of the body such as the throat, Hypnotherapy presents people with an opportunity to speak their truth or actually have a conversation with someone such as a parent, ex-spouse or an abuser. Once the energy is released people feel so much better!
Liz: Hypnotherapy allows you to use “chair work” while you are in an altered state of consciousness so that you can develop creative ways to toward a successful resolution to a problem. Hypnotherapy and chair work can also help you make a tough decision.

Tracy: Hypnotherapy helps people slow down and getting more clarity on what they are struggling with. When you take the time to think slowly and with a purpose and guidance, you often get more clarity and resolution.

Liz: We all have inner wisdom, and have the answers inside, we just need to slow it down, listen, and let the answers come out. Hypnotherapy helps us use our creativity and imagination (like a child would) to develop solutions for success in their lives.

Trauma and Hypnotherapy

Trauma from childhood or adulthood cause the mind and body to hold pain
Over time, the trauma wounds can be triggered through a variety of situations
Traumatic events often involve negative / unhelpful suggestions
Healing old traumatic wounds involves a regression to an earlier traumatic time, and
Unwanted behaviors such as overeating can be traced back to traumatic events / emotions
Hypnotherapy can help you revisit these events and emotions and resolve them comfortably

The Perfectionist Mindset

The perfectionist mindset: “I need to fix it” or “I need to do it perfectly”
“Perfectionism is the pursuit of Death” (It’s impossible to attain, so you’ll die trying)
Understand and “lean into” the perfectionism (What does perfectionism look and feel like?)
What sort of purpose is perfectionism serving? (mainly, to keep us safe from criticism)
You can choose not to pick up the sword of perfectionism….you can try a Kevlar vest
Flexibility is the solution to perfectionism
You can try asking your perfectionism to take a step back if it’s not serving you well

Final Thoughts on Chaos during COVID-19

It’s okay to not feel okay right now
Give yourself some permission to take a break
Liz demonstrates a simple mindfulness practice that can “anchor” you, and help you settle into stillness and let go of any chaos.

Resources from Dr. Liz:

YouTube: Your Zen Within | Relax with Dr. Liz

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.lizlistens/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrLizlistens

Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/DrLizFacebook

website: www.drlizlistens.com

email: dr.lizlistens@gmail.com

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Videos): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

YouTube (Playlists): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

Email Tracy at calmingthec@gmail.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Chaotic Choices

Sat, 14 Nov 2020 16:54:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Chaotic Choices”

#choices #YouTubeDrama #chaos #decisions #values #calmingthechaos

Intro: In this episode, Tracy talks about how choices and decisions can cause mental and emotional chaos. She gives some examples of simple and complex decisions, describes how “The Four P’s” can make decision-making more chaotic, and gives a skill that you can use to calm the chaos and make wiser choices in your life.

Examples of choices (simple and complex)
What makes decision-making more chaotic (The Four P’s)
1. Perfectionism
2. Pressure
3. Perceptions
4. Personalities

Using Values to make choices and decisions
1. Honesty
2. Transparency
3. Loyalty
4. Growth
5. Kindness
6. Simplicity
7. Learning
8. Fairness
9. Respect
10. Attacking / Defense
11. Conflict
12. Freedom
13. Creativity
14. Quality
15. Drama
16. Fun
17. Safety
18. Challenge

Conclusion: When you’re faced with a decision or choice, check to see if you have any of the Four P’s coming up. Connect with your values and make a choice. It really is that simple!!

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Videos): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

YouTube (Playlists): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Double Chaos - Double Calm

Mon, 05 Oct 2020 22:12:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Double Chaos, Double Calm”

#chaos #coaching #anxiety #depression #relationship #stress #trauma #coachingthroughchaospodcast

Intro: In this episode, Tracy interviews Dr. Colleen Mullen, PsyD, LMFT of “Coaching Through Chaos” (Podcast and Counseling Practice). Colleen describes the work she does and the different projects she is involved in. Tracy reviews some of the chaos that has happened thus far in 2020. Together, Tracy and Colleen brainstorm some ways that people can calm their minds, cope with their emotions, and behave in ways that help improve their mental health. Lots of ideas here, so this is a longer podcast than usual!

I. Introduction to Colleen Mullen, PhD of “Coaching Through Chaos” Podcast / Counseling Practice II. Changes in systems cause chaos! Here are some changes we, as a people, have experienced in 2020: • The Presidential Impeachment • The US and North Korea • COVID-19 and Ebola • Worldwide deaths • Fires in Australia • Fires in California, Oregon and Washington • Police and Black Lives matter (Protests, Minneapolis, Kenosha, Atlanta) • An asteroid headed to planet Earth • Murder hornets and deadly mosquitos • Sports cancelled • Stock Market Fluctuations • School closures • Unemployment • The upcoming Presidential Election

Colleen Suggests: 1. Identifying Obstacles: What are the biggest obstacles that are preventing you from effectively managing chaos? 2. Present-Focus: This is temporary, so keep your mind on what is happening now, getting through day to day 3. Problem-Solving: Coming up with ideas to cope that focus on eliminating barriers and keeping a present-focus 4. Adaptability (or how well you adapt or adjust to the changes that happen in systems) will be the most relevant skill that will help you survive, thrive and move through chaotic times Tracy Chimes in with a story about how difficult it is to be flexible 1. Expectations: Chaos can happen when things don’t go the way you expect them to happen 2. Pause: Taking a step back and making flexibility an intention can help 3. Analyze and Assess the situation 4. Creativity: Be flexible and creative as you figure out what to do to calm the chaos Colleen and Tracy agree that seeing alternative answers and solutions is very important when calming / coping with chaos.

III. Calming the body down • Dealing with shock (fight, flight, freeze) • Systemic Trauma, Individual Trauma, Pre-existing Trauma and Current Trauma • Coping with the fear that “We will get stuck with any new ideas developed (like telework, home schooling and mask-wearing). IV. Developing Psychological Flexibility: How do you do this? (Brainstorming Session) 1. Tracy: Gathering support and resources to help people feel comfortable and safe through changes 2. Colleen: Talking to someone like a friend about what you’re struggling with and distraction and taking breaks. Focusing on things that are NOT changing and are stable, normal and not chaotic (“normal.”) 3. Tracy: Focusing on stability, routine, grounding and focusing on what is present. Boundaries. 4. Colleen: Not getting stuck in the fears and / or uncertainty. Knowing when the negative information gets to be too much and taking a break. Practicing gratitude and positivity. 5. Both: Move beyond your expectation that things “should” be a certain way. The reality is that life ebbs and flows, and that the natural progression is for hard times AND easier times. V. Colleen’s “Past-Present-Future” model of managing chaos • All these things happened in the past • You want certain things for the future • How much energy do you spend on past script, and is this the script for your future? • Past: Women: The self-concept when we were 12 is likely the same as when we are 45 • Challenging / re-writing old, negative scripts • “You’re at a choice point: do you want to hold these scripts or re-write them?” • SKILL: “Re-writing” the traditional narrative to something more truthful and helpful • Future: What is the worst thing that can happen to you? What are you giving up if tomorrow you feel differently or give up this fear? (“The Miracle Question”) • Challenging Beliefs: Is the worst thing really so bad? The existential angst that happens when presented with something scary is sometimes death! VI. Chaos and Existentialism: is death the worst thing? Or is it humiliation / shame? • Worries and negative reinforcers • Is this your mind just being creative? The past is the best predictor of the future. “You’ve gotten through some hard times and you can do it again.” (Tracy) • How can we live the best in our major life domains? (Physical, Social, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual, Vocational and Relational). VII. Chaos Lightening Round: What do you do when Chaos hits? • What does Colleen do? i. Moving body (walks) and breathing fresh air as a ritual to work out energy ii. 30 minutes of sitting on the patio, reading, meditating, getting sunlight (vit. D) iii. Processing what is in your mind while taking a break iv. Notice your surroundings, describe them and be curious about what is going on in your body v. Sound machine apps with white noise • What does Tracy do? i. Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills in mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness ii. Taking care of the shock (getting out of your mind and into your body) such as using the five senses (sense of smell) (to combat “reptilian brain”) iii. Release the energy while keeping yourself safe iv. Positive self-talk and asking for help “Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend.” v. Dawn-Simulator alarm clocks can help usher you into the day with light

References

Beck, A.T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. New York, NY: International Universities Press, Inc.

Ellis, A., & Grieger, R.M. (1977). Handbook of rational-emotive therapy. New York: Springer Publishing

Harris, R (2007). The Happiness Trap: How to stop struggling and start living. Boston, MA, Exisle Publishing Ltd.

Linehan, M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. New York, NY, Guilford Press.

Zimberoff, D., &Hartman, D. (2014). Overcoming Shock: Healing the traumatized mind and heart. Far Hills, NJ, New Horizon Press.

Resources

Colleen’s Website

https://coachingthroughchaos.com/

Colleen’s Podcast: https://coachingthroughchaospodcast.com/

Colleen’s Free Book:

https://1drv.ms/b/s!AuqjTBFPkHqMhZgbQgztXrKwExEE3A info page about the book: https://coachingthroughchaos.com/leadership-for-women/

Relaxation APP: White Noise Lite is the app with the various sounds, including snoring kitty

Tara Brach’s Website has a LOT of free resources, including guided meditations: https://www.tarabrach.com Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website:

calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Videos):

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

YouTube (Playlists):

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1 Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578 HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

Tracy also created a mindfulness CD called “On This Day.” This CD teaches you how to practice mindfulness in less than 10 minutes throughout the day.

Practicing mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress and increase clear thinking in times of chaos.

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94 Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/ Twitter (@the_calming) Instagram (calmingthec) LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Calming the Cat Chaos

Sun, 20 Sep 2020 20:53:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Calming the Cat Chaos”

#cats #pets #dogs #animialhealth #healthyplayforanimals #mycatfromhell

Intro: In this episode, Tracy describes how to calm the chaos with our pets, with the focus being on cats. We will then meet each of Tracy’s three cats, and learn about how she cares and plays with her cats in fun and healthy ways to calm their chaos. She will also present a skill for pet owners to use, with an example about how she calmed her own chaos when her senior cat was recently hospitalized.

I. Calm the Cat Chaos with Play

Playing on the ground with mice and tails
Playing on the catio and going on a “Cat Walk”
Playing with stringy toys up on
Lazy play
Senior cat play
Food motivated plan (“Treat Hockey”)

II. The “Four A’s” approach to calming the cat chaos…and for all pet owners!

Aware: Notice any changes in your pet by continuously observing their behaviors

Awake: Be alert and ready to take action if any changes do occur

Alive: This is the goal: Do what it takes to keep your pet alive when they are sick, and consider quality of life issues as well.

Alight: Life ebbs and flows…the good times and the tough times. And, the tough times do resolve, like darkness resolves into light.

References

For Information on Jackson Galaxy, Pet Behaviorist for his holistic solutions, toys and supplies for animals

https://www.jacksongalaxy.com/

A link to one of Jackson Galaxy’s “My Cat From Hell” episodes (“My Cat Hates my Boyfriend”)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8LlguM49Cs

For information on The Rainbow Bridge, a hopeful poem about animals when they pass away:

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Videos): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

YouTube (Playlists): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Chaotic Eating

Sun, 30 Aug 2020 20:01:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Chaotic Eating”

#eating disorders #anxiety #depression #body shame #foodandbodyimage

Intro: In this episode, Tracy describes how some people use food or eating to cope with mental and / or emotional chaos. We will discuss examples of how mental and / or emotional chaos can happen and why food may be used or misused to cope. We’ll then take a visit into Tracy’s kitchen and examine some food-related triggers that could cause mental and / or emotional chaos. Finally, Tracy presents a solution to help those who are struggling with a “chaotic” relationship with food. The good news: There is hope for you to find a balanced sense of enjoyment when it comes to food and eating!

How can mental / emotional chaos happen around with food and eating?

It’s easiest to break it down into four parts:

Situations that cause discomfort, unease or distress
Thoughts that occur because of situations and / or feelings
Feelings that occur because of situations and / or thoughts
Behaviors or actions taken to get relief or comfort from emotional distress

Situations that can cause chaotic eating:
A person is stressed out about passing an important test (Think, Feel, Do)
1. “I MUST pass the test!” Anxiety Overeat
A person is overly focused on his or her body weight, shape or size (Think, Feel, Do)
1. “I NEED to weigh….” (Fear, Restrict Eating)
A person is insulted, or gets into a conflict with someone (Think, Feel, Do)
1. “I’ll show you!” (Anger, Take it out on yourself, binge, purge or restrict food)
A person loses something important, or doesn’t get what they want (Think, Feel, Do)
1. “My life is hopeless.” (Sadness, escape life by binging, purging or restricting food)
A person receives negative feedback, or regrets doing or saying something (Think, Feel, Do)
1. “I’m not worthy.” (Shame, escape the self by binging, purging or restricting food)

A chain reaction to chaotic eating – In Tracy’s Kitchen!

You are actually physically hungry
Seeing a certain food causes an emotional reaction
You are unaware that you are feeling a painful emotion
Body feelings are physically uncomfortable
An effort is made to try and alleviate the physical and emotional discomfort by using food

IV: The “RADICAL” approach to managing your relationship with food and eating

Reflect on the unique struggles you are having with food, eating and body image.

Acknowledge any emotions that may emerge, and notice how they feel in your body.

Describe the emotional experience you have in your mind (thoughts) and body (feelings).

Intuitively sense your level of distress, and use adaptive skills to cope with painful feelings.

Communicate to yourself what you need, and then communicate your needs to others.

Allow yourself to accept and receive help and assistance from yourself and others.

Let go of your emotional suffering.

References

Beck, A.T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. New York, NY: International Universities Press, Inc.

Evans, Y., et.al, (2020). Adolescent Nutrition – Assuring the needs of emerging adults. Springer Publications, in press, ISBN:978-3-030-45102-8

Resources

The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) website has a lot of information if you would like to learn more about disordered eating: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn

The International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (IAEDP) is where I received my Certification as an Eating Disorders Specialist. Visit their website at http://www.iaedp.com/

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube (Videos): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

YouTube (Playlists): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ/playlists?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Causing the Chaos

Sun, 09 Aug 2020 18:36:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Causing the Chaos”

Intro: In this episode, Tracy explores how people can cause chaos with their actions and their words. Tracy reviews the definition of chaos and looks at three types of situations where the words and deeds people can cause chaos within the minds of people. Tracy gives examples to illustrate these three types of situations, and gives some tips about how to recognize and cope when the words and deeds of people cause mental and emotional chaos.

What is Chaos? As Defined by Webster’s New World Dictionary:

A state of utter confusion
A confused mass or mixture
Disorganized states
Unpredictable behavior

There are two different ways that chaos can show up in your life:

Real Chaos: Life threatening emergencies. These include anything uncontained, such natural disasters, (floods, fires, traffic accidents, mass shootings, riots, power outages).

Perceived Chaos: Stressful, but non-life-threatening. Those things that “feel chaotic” and the things I think of as disorganized, random or intense, but that are just “too much.” Kind of like mail…or my hall closet.

Causing the Chaos: Chaos can be caused from people’s actions and words in at least three (3) ways:

Intentional Chaos: A person deliberately causes chaos for others because they want to

Example: Bringing up controversial issues with an intention to “poke the bear”

Trigger subjects include Religion, Politics, Laws, Rules, Human Behaviors

Perceived Chaos: Can result when the bear is poked – It can cause anger
Real Chaos: Can result if the bear is poked and there is a violent response

Inadvertent Chaos: A person causes chaos because they are trying to get to the truth

Example: Bringing up questions about controversial issues (above) to formulate your own theories, and this upsets people who don’t want questions

Perceived Chaos: Can result when firmly held beliefs are questioned

Real Chaos: Can result when questions lead to invasion of privacy, private information is revealed, accusations are made or the police are called

Unintentional Chaos: A person tries to be helpful and instead causes chaos

Example: Intervening when two sides are opposing each other about controversial issues, trying to build a bridge or help two parties come to an agreement

Perceived Chaos: Can result when people don’t want agreement, they want to keep fighting, and the thought of a peaceful resolution threatens their meaning in life.

Real Chaos: When opinions about the intervening person are unflattering and it affects their reputation, relationships or causes them to lose a job.

Here’s what you COULD do if someone is “Causing the Chaos” for you (Not Recommended)

Intentional Chaos – YOU are the bear that someone pokes. You could retaliate against them.

Inadvertent Chaos – YOU are upset because someone else is trying to get at the truth, or is coming up with a theory that goes against your beliefs. You could discount them.

Unintentional Chaos – YOU become upset by someone else’s efforts to make peace. You could discredit them

Here’s an alternative action:

Respond….rather than React when you are in chaos, using the Five RULES:

The Five R-U-L-E-S of coping with situations where you are in chaos:

Recognize- when you are triggered (physical, mental, emotional symptoms)
Use– skills, breathing and fact checking to calm the physical body down
Listen– To the facts, your values, what how you want to display yourself
Evaluate- Take a moment to think things over – try to allow time before responding
Say– what you need to say, remembering your values, act within the rules of anger:

1. Don’t hurt yourself
2. Don’t hurt anyone else
3. Don’t damage property
4. Don’t get arrested

Conclusion: There are solutions (other than retaliating, discounting or discrediting others, or reacting impulsively in anger), to manage the chaos someone else causes in your life. You can respond, rather than react, skillfully and effectively.

Are you motivated to do this?

Motivators to effective chaos management include the values of….

Integrity
Professionalism
Respect for others
Harmony, Unity and Agreement (“Lokahi”)
Kindness and Love

References

Beck, A.T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. New York, NY: International Universities Press, Inc.

Chaos (n.) in Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chaos

Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. New York, NY, Guilford Press.

Positivity Over Chaos

Sun, 12 Jul 2020 21:53:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Positivity over Chaos” Interview with Lisa Mustard, LMFT of “The Therapy Show”

Intro: Tracy Kenela is the founder of Lokahi Counseling and Calming the Chaos Podcast. In this episode, Tracy interviews Lisa Mustard, who is a Therapist in South Carolina, is also a Podcaster, Pod-Course Developer, Activewear Brand Representative, Wife and Mother. Lisa tells the audience about what she is doing in her life, how she prevents burnout with all she is doing, and how she keeps herself positive even though chaotic moments!

How does a person who is trying to spread positivity and help calm the chaos that sometimes happens throughout life?
1. “Let’s get the facts before we let our irrational thoughts take us down the path of anxiety.”

Ask yourself, “Where’s the truth in all this?”
Research and look for the information and educate yourself

Ask yourself, “What are the odds, probabilities and statistics?”

Critically think on your own
Try to stop watching the news
Think about what you DO want to focus on, and how you will use your time

Not necessarily producing
Focusing on mindfulness and being present

Each day is different: “I want to be mindful of what the needs are.”

Identify values and priorities: Lisa’s is Family Focused First
Re-aligning daily and hourly with your values

Stop…take a deep breath, think critically and act rationally

Other tips to Calm the Chaos and Stay Positive (and avoid “Burnout”)
1. Saying “No” to things that don’t align with your end goals or values

Burnout can happen if you say “Yes” to things that your system can’t handle
Burnout can happen if you say “Yes” to things that don’t align with your values

Knowing when to help, refer, or give resources

Saying “Yes” to things in your life that are fulfilling (when you are a Parent)

What helps you have fun and brings joy to your life (“what fills YOUR cup?”)
1. Listening to podcasts
2. Listening to music I want to listen to (not stuff my kids want to listen to)
3. Body movement
4. Getting good rest
5. Hanging out with Husband – Quality Time and Standup Comedy
6. Being consistent with doing the things
7. Finding time to do these things

How do you make the time to “fill your cup” and prevent burnout when you are a Mom?
1. Knowing how to say “No” to things that don’t serve you (and decrease energy)
2. Setting the intention to say “Yes” to things that do serve you (and increase energy)
3. Getting creative about how to consistently do things in your life that bring you joy!
4. Validating that it’s difficult to get things done for yourself when you have kids
5. You just manage it as well as you can
6. Getting support and resources for help!

Any words of encouragement for Moms who have small children?
1. Acknowledge your frustration
2. Validate your emotions
3. “This too shall pass”
4. Talk yourself down from the chaos of your mind
5. Encourage yourself through it: “I will get out of this some day!”
6. Work with kids within each age and stage
7. Consider going to therapy!

Conclusion:
1. Visit Lisa’s website at lisamustard.com
2. Join Lisa’s Facebook Group “The Talk Therapist’s Lounge”
3. It’s time that we Therapists provide help beyond the therapy office
4. Lisa helps counselors help people! (So what comes around…goes around!)
5. Therapists can use “The Three Es” which are “Educate, Empower, Entertain.”
6. It’s Easier than you think!
7. Thank you so much Lisa for joining us on Calming the Chaos!

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

#positivity #burnout #counseling #anxiety #depression #beingamom #mommyresources #bodymovement #fitness

Thanks for listening, and take care!

The Chaos of Hate

Sun, 28 Jun 2020 22:45:00 -0700

Episode Title: “The Chaos of Hate” By Tracy Kenela, M.A., LMHC, CRC, CEDS, ACHT of Lokahi Counseling

Intro: Tracy Kenela is the founder of Lokahi Counseling and Calming the Chaos Podcast. In this episode, Tracy discusses hate: as a feeling, as a thought form and as a behavior / action. She gives an example of hate by exploring the actions of online attacks or “Cyber-Bullying.” She analyzes some possible reasons for online attacks, how online attacks can cause chaos in the lives of people, and some ideas about what you could do if you are attacked online.

What is hate? Intense or passionate dislike for something or someone
1. The hater can either have no chaos or a lot of chaos
2. If the hater attacks something or someone, chaos likely happens to the one attacked

Example: Online attacks or “Cyber-Bullying” – An illustration of the Chaos of Hate
1. Possible Situation: A social media post, platform, YouTube or Instagram channel or podcast that expresses opinions or information that the hater disagrees with, passionately dislikes, or is intensely against.
2. Possible Thoughts: (Tend to be extreme thinking of good, bad, right or wrong, as opposed to open, attentive, accepting of alternative viewpoints and values)

Example #1: “I disagree with their viewpoint, so I hate the person.”
Example #2: “I hate the person, so I hate everyone associated with them.”

Example #3: “I need to set this person straight”

Example #4: “This person needs to be punished.”

Possible Feelings: Anger. Fear. Sadness. Embarrassment.
Possible Action / behavioral urge: Destruction of whatever the viewpoint is.
Actions / behaviors:

Gathering forces: against the person, and for the hater’s agenda
Lashing out: Online attacks (verbal or video)

Discrediting or disliking

Name-calling
Harassment
Violence

Doxxing
Chat disturbances

Humiliation
Lawsuits

What is going on here when people act out on their hate? (mental health perspective)
1. They truly believe there is an injustice that needs to be corrected
2. They could have unresolved mental health issues (anger, delusions, impulse control)
3. They could lack empathy or have no awareness as to the effects their actions could have
4. They could direct their own anger at themselves to other people (“projection”) because they hate their own lives
5. They could have envy or jealousy
6. They could like the drama (See my future “Addicted to chaos” interview with Duane Osterlind of www.theaddictedmind.com)
7. They could have trouble seeing other viewpoints, so have a “narrow view” (as opposed to a “broad view”)
8. They could have authority issues and like breaking rules
9. They’ve had hurtful trauma, so they have learned to act out in ways that are hurtful

Seeing the positive traits in those who act out on their hate:
1. They are creative
2. They stand for truth, fairness and justice (as they see it)
3. They are often humorous and creative in their attacks
4. They are passionate about their agendas – fiercely defend what is right
5. They are persistent
6. They are influential and charismatic

Seeing the painful effects of those who act out on their hate:
1. They cause pain to others
2. They can slander, libel or defame someone (which is against the law) which can effect the hated person’s ability to earn a living, or be socially accepted in the world

We all need love, understanding and freedom to earn a living!

1. They can become exhausting to defend against (legal defenses cost money some people don’t have)
2. They can breed misinformation, causing even more hate
3. They can become stalker-like and invade a person’s privacy
4. They can fail to see the complete picture (again…a narrow view) which goes against truth and justice
1. Do:
Some tips if you are attacked online, and you want to calm the chaos:

Keep an open mind
Stick to your values

Try to understand the agenda / issue at hand objectively, without overt judgment

Set an positive daily intention
Take a day off (or 2 or 3 or more) to unplug and reset.
Stay close to those who love you, and veer toward more positive emotions

Choose your battles wisely
State your case clearly and respectfully if you are drawn to engage

Resolve not to be a part of the hate

Don’t:

Lash back out at them (this reinforces their hate behaviors). Don’t engage!
Assume, judge or blame them. Remember…they have a lot of passion about their views, they are just going about expressing their passion in ways that hurt others.

Do what they do. If you stand for love or kindness or peace, you’ll need to be clear about this in what you express publicly

Get obsessed with what they are saying
Do things reactively, hastily or unclearly
Respond while under the influence of drugs or alcohol (you’ll regret it tomorrow!)

Lay down and take it
Forget what you stand for: your values, and your passion

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Podbay: https://podbay.fm/podcast/1489271578

HubHopper: https://hubhopper.com/podcast/calming-the-chaos/102122

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

#hate #cyberbullying #trolls #internetcrime #socialshamingl #anxiety #calmingthechaospodcast #depression #overwhelm

Social Chaos

Wed, 17 Jun 2020 02:31:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Social Chaos” By Tracy Kenela, M.A., LMHC, CRC, CEDS, ACHT of Lokahi Counseling

Intro: Tracy Kenela is the founder of Lokahi Counseling and Calming the Chaos Podcast. In this episode, Tracy discusses how people in our society can cause other people mental and emotional chaos. She begins with an overview of the civil unrest and social chaos that is currently happening as a result of recent events around the world, including racial discrimination and law enforcement which has resulted in international protests, violence and hate. She then presents some insights about how we can calm the mental and emotional chaos that happens when we the people are faced with these social issues.

What is currently happening in the world?
1. Two deaths on film of black men by a law enforcement officer
2. Outrage from citizens of international communities
3. International protests (peaceful and destructive)
4. Hate, fear and Civil Unrest

What is Going on here (mental health perspective)
1. People see what is happening and are outraged, saddened and afraid for their lives
2. They begin to think in terms of survival – reptilian brain
3. Emotional Mind prevails over Reasonable / Factual Mind
4. Attacking and Defending Behaviors based in fear happen over social media
5. Social Media fears and differing opinions spread and hate results
6. We as a society become more divided instead of more connected

“Houston… (and Minneapolis, Atlanta, Seattle, Tulsa, Washington DC, London, New York City and other cities)… WE HAVE A PROBLEM!”
1. We first need to acknowledge we have a problem
2. We then need to decide where we stand (continuum): ß--------------------------------------à

Hate Love

Some tips for survival
1. Listen to all perspectives with an open heart and mind
2. Check your sources for facts before you go onto social media and react or re-post the ideas of others
3. Choose to educate others….and….choose your battles wisely (“Wise Mind”)
4. Engage with each other respectfully, being mindful of the rules of anger:

Don’t hurt yourself
Don’t hurt others

Don’t damage property

Don’t get arrested

Recognize your own privilege

Getting Involved: Three stories Glass, a nail and a cat
1. Glass
2. A Nail
3. A Cat
4. Bottom Line: Even the best intentions can bring you harm.

Listen much
Think about where you stand before you speak

Respect the rules of anger

Try not to judge, but to understand varying points of view
Respect the limits of others and take care of yourself!

Final story about the 2016 women’s marches
1. Check out the audiobook I created afterward called “Beyond Words”
2. Pilot copy will be released chapter by chapter on YouTube

References

Wise Mind is from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, developed by Marsha Linehan. Find out more by accessing the following link: https://behavioraltech.org/dbt-wise-mind-part-1/
“Speak little, listen much and be slow to anger” is from the Bible, James 1:19

https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/James%201%3A19

“Do not judge” is from the Bible, Matthew 7:1-6

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7%3A1-6&version=NIV

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

Main podcast website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Visit Tracy’s Website at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

#racial #injustice #chaos #civilunrest #social #riots #calmingthechaospodcast #anxiety #overwhelm

Relationship Chaos

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 21:42:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Relationship Chaos” By Tracy Kenela, M.A., LMHC, CRC, CEDS, ACHT of Lokahi Counseling

Intro: Tracy Kenela is the founder of Lokahi Counseling and Calming the Chaos Podcast. In this episode, Tracy interviews Psychologist Jared DeFife of Dynamic Counseling and Consulting in Atlanta, Georgia. Dr. DeFife offers help to those who are struggling with being in a relationship where one or both partners struggle with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Jared and Tracy discuss ADHD, how it can present as chaos in relationships, and how the relationship chaos can be effectively managed.

About Jared: He’s a psychologist in Atlanta Georgia, “Recovering Academic” and has been doing private practice for 6 years now. He struggles with ADHD himself, and specializes in offering help to those who struggle with ADHD.

What is it like to have ADHD?
1. Driving a car through a rainstorm without windshield wipers
2. Operating online with a thousand browser tabs open (and one of them is playing music)
3. Navigating a grocery store without having a plan
4. “The Runaway Brain” (when you lose your train of thought!) – Hopefully it will come back! Or…..it may just run away and it’s more difficult to put the brakes on.

What is ADHD
1. It’s NOT about a deficit of attention (it is an over-abundance)
2. May or may not include hyperactivity
3. Can include inattentiveness
4. Symptoms fall in 3 realms

Inattentiveness (concentration problems)
Hyperactivity or restlessness (internal OR external), mind racing

Impulsivity (verbal and behavioral) i.e. driving a car too fast, spending, overeating, etc.)

It’s a complex neurodevelopmental disorder that affects executive functioning center of the brain; the self-managing, conductor of the trainof the brain, and carries through the lifespan
It is a “heritable” condition – one of the most genetically heritable conditions (so you can inherit it)

Relationships, ADHD and Chaos: Some of the signs
1. Chris Rock: “You’re not dating that person, you’re dating their representative!”
2. A lot of excess drive, stimulation, motivation at the beginning of a relationship
3. “I met this charming guy who was wonderful when we first dated, but then we moved in together and he disappeared!”
4. A lot of hyper-focus on the relationship at first
5. When regular life sets in (paying bill on times remembering an anniversary, buying gifts, planning a dinner date, figuring out what to watch on TV, making the bed, doing the laundry, etc.)
6. Forgetting important things, being overly focused on things that are not important, or cannot make decision.

Problems that can occur with ADHD and Executive Functioning:

Activation and Organization: “The ignition switch in the car” that helps you get going doesn’t work properly.
Focus: An Inability to focus on homework, but they CAN focus on a video game where there is a lot of action and many rewards.
Alertness: It takes more effort to be aware. There may also be sleep problems, and problems waking up. “The driver in the car is awake at night and asleep during the day.”
Emotion: Difficulties regulating intense emotions, especially frustration and irritation
Memory: Remembering to remember member
Action Monitoring: Difficulties monitoring self to do and finish tasks, hard to manage time and monitor action in relationships.

All of these can impact relationships!

Common problems that can occur in relationships when one or more partners have ADHD:

Partner forgets to pay a bill – it can affect the other partner’s credit score
Partner feels chaos and extra stress / overwhelm
Partner feels like ADHD feels contagious to the non-struggling partner “It’s catching!”
Substance Abuse
Verbal abuse when emotions are high
Frustration on both parties
Divorces are more common with those who struggle with ADHD
Partner has to be in a car with ADHD Driver with Road Rage
Raising the kids may be problematic
“It’s like I’m living with a child.” Partner thinks they
“He’s an insuffering narcissist who doesn’t care”

Techniques for couples who have one or more partners with ADHD
1. Think of ADHD as a gift: There are some benefits, such as being able to focus for prolonged periods of time, charisma, divergent thinking, ability to be direct in communication)
2. Having an awareness of what ADHD is, and how it can present in relationships
3. Bringing the struggling partner’s awareness to the problem
4. Going to therapy (visit someone like Jared!) and setting boundaries and limits
5. Increase awareness of the complexity of the brain disorder
6. Think like a behaviorist (using planners, reminder methods and skills)
7. Emotional Management: Awareness of beliefs and constructs and self-limiting or overly optimistic beliefs about self and the world
8. Education: Helping the one who struggles realize the complexity of ADHD
9. Communication and interpersonal strategies
10. Theory of mind, mentalization, the ability to take the perspective of the other person
11. Medication – This is a decision between person and doctor. It can be highly effective, especially if used when learning emotional / cognitive coping skills.
12. Nutrition (See “Helping the Hangry” Podcast Interviews with Katie Hart)
13. Get an evaluation with a qualified ADHD Evaluator
14. Support – Very important to have understanding, knowledge and education
15. Notice irritation, breathe and use skills to manage
Contact Jared or visit his website: jareddefife.com @atlantapsychologist. On his website, he has interviews, resources and information. In the future, may have some courses, so stay tuned!

Listen to “Calming the Chaos” Podcast by visiting calmingthechaos.libsyn.com, or visit my Website: at www.lokahicounseling.com

On my website, there’s a link to a mindfulness CD I created called “On This Day.” This CD teaches you how to practice mindfulness in less than 10 minutes throughout the day. Practicing mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress and increase clear thinking in times of chaos.

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Libsyn and Google Play: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Open Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Confinement Chaos

Wed, 20 May 2020 15:23:00 -0700

Episode Title: “Confinement Chaos” By Tracy Kenela, M.A., LMHC, CRC, CEDS, ACHT of Lokahi Counseling

Intro: Tracy Kenela is the founder of Lokahi Counseling and Calming the Chaos Podcast. In this episode, Tracy continues to offer help to those who are struggling with being confined to their homes during the COVID-19 Quarantine. Tracy presents an overview of the two types of people who generally struggle with “Confinement Chaos,” and presents some examples of common problematic thought patterns that can create or increase chaos in the mind under quarantine. Tracy presents the RADICAL Approach that can help both types of people Calm the Chaos of Confinement.

1. “Confinement Chaos” is similar to “Cabin Fever” in that you are “confined” to a space by yourself or others. Confinement in both cases can cause chaos in the mind when thoughts become overwhelming, confused, random, intense or uncontained.

Confinement Chaos can happen to at least two groups of people:

a. Those who (in general) PREFER to have contact with others b. Those who (in general) do NOT prefer to have contact with others

2. Confinement Chaos happens in people who PREFER to have contact with others because of a sense of LOSS (i.e. “I don’t have enough of what I DO want”)

a. They miss the people they want to be with b. They experience a sense of loss at not being able to do fun activities c. They miss being in people’s energy

3. Confinement Chaos happens in people who prefer NOT to have contact with others because of a sense of OVERWHELM (i.e. “I have too much of what I DON’T want”)

a. They get overwhelmed by their own thoughts and feelings b. They are sensitive to other people they are confined with c. They may feel even MORE socially pressured because of online invitations and options

4. Seven (7) Thought patterns commonly seen in those who PREFER contact with others:

i. I am going crazy here all alone ii. Anything is better than being all by myself iii. will this ever end? What if it doesn’t? iv. I didn’t get to go to prom or graduation or on that trip to Europe or….. v. I need a hug and I may never get one ever again vi. I am just not happy when other people aren’t around to cheer me up vii. I’m stuck with people I don’t like, and can’t see the one I love

Having these sorts of thoughts can create emotions such as anxiety, frustration, fear and sadness because something is missing that they want!

5. Seven (7) Thought patterns commonly seen in those who do NOT prefer contact with others:

i. I am going crazy here with these people….get me out of here! ii. Anything is better than being with these people iii. will this ever end? What if it doesn’t? GET ME OUT OF HERE! iv. I just need a quiet moment to myself and I’ll probably never get it v. I wish people would just stay away from me and leave me alone! vi. These people are bringing me down and making me mad vii. Why did I ever think I loved this person? They are driving me mad!

Having these sorts of thoughts can create emotions such as anxiety, frustration, fear and sadness because they have too much of something they DON’T want!

6. The RADICAL Solution to overcoming Confinement Chaos:

Reflect on your Relationship with yourself: Which type are you? Do you like being alone? With others? Why would that matter? SIMPLE to figure out:

Like With others: Positive experiences ------- Want to be with others Like Without others: Negative experiences --- Want to be alone

Bottom line: Most people want to be with people they want to be with

Assess your Ability and willingness to make changes: Create options or distance?

Discover and Describe your emotional experiences: See Above. Decide to change thinking.

Intuition Intellect to seek solutions to struggles: Use intuition and intellect to decide what to do

Communicate your needs Clearly: I statements “I feel_______when________. I need ________.” CAVEAT: You may not get what you ask for…no matter HOW skillfully you ask!

Allow yourself to receive Assistance from yourself and others. Ask for help and receive it!

Love yourself no matter what. Love yourself through this!

Listen to “Calming the Chaos” Podcast by visiting calmingthechaos.libsyn.com, or visit my Website: at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Libsyn and Google Play: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kenela.94

Open Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

References

Beck, A.T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. New York, NY: International Universities Press, Inc.

Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. New York, NY, Guilford Press.

Thanks for Listening!

The Gift of Time - Interview with Julie McInnis

Sun, 03 May 2020 21:30:00 -0700

Episode Title: “The Gift of Time” Interview with Julie McInnis, LMHC of Chrysalis Counseling Services

Intro: Julie McInnis is the founder of Chrysalis Counseling Services and works with clients who have trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD), and also does clinical Supervision for new Counselors.

We’ll listen as Julie talks about how the COVID-19 Quarantine has affected her and her counseling practice, and find out how she, as a psychotherapist, copes with the chaos of adjusting to a new way of life, both personally and professionally.

1. How are you doing therapy sessions in The COVID-19 Quarantine?

Telehealth sessions in her kitchen / dining room
Visiting her office to clean and water plants. “I miss my office!”
Tip: Julie keeps the image of “The Chrysalis” in her mind: A Chrysalis is the holding environment for a butterfly, and is a place of transition. She is holding space right now for growth, while keeping a vision of what is to come, and what is new. So the image of the Chrysalis is much like the world we live in now!
TIP: Thinking of The COVID-19 Quarantine as a blessing, “The Gift of Time” as an opportunity to do self-care, to hold, and to grow. “Things are happening in the Chrysalis,” and “It may take some time,” and “I hold a vision of growth and what is new.” (Very optimistic reframing!)

2. Story #1: A positive experience during the new world of COVID-19 can help create positive emotions, which can calm the chaos in your mind.

Giving to strangers in need can create compassion and “being human,” or “re-discovering your humanity.” It can also give you some appreciation for what you have.
Taking action where you can, and connecting with your humanity can help you feel better…even when you are tired or grumpy.
Calming the Chaos Tip: Remember to use what you have (like maybe use oak leaves for toilet paper?)

3. Story #2: A “not so positive” experience during the new world of COVID-19 can help you become aware of important information about yourself and your world, and help you make adjustments to calm the chaos in your mind.

a. When there are new processes and procedures (such as the ones at the grocery stores) because of COVID-19, you may encounter the following:

Being told what to do by management or other customers
Feeling like a child
Needing to learn new rules and processes
Having to make decisions quickly (so you can move out of the way of others)
Being publicly shamed, or told that you aren’t moving fast enough
Feeling panic
Feeling disempowered
Doing something new that results in a physical injury (Julie injured her shoulder)
Not having access to medical providers that are “non-essential.”

b. Bottom line: more physical and emotional pain or chaos can happen in the process of adjusting to new procedures in the world.

4. Here are some ways to use “The Gift of Time” to Calm the Chaos during The COVID-19 Quarantine:

Practicing humility in the midst of new processes and procedures
Becoming aware of the times where you can stand in your own power when following new rules, processes and procedures in the world
Encouraging yourself through making decisions from an empowered place
Sharing strife with others
Acknowledging emotions and talking through them with trusted friends, family members and colleagues
Practicing mindful awareness (a balance between being overly careful and careless) especially when negative thinking gets higher due to the “collective angst” that is present in the world today
Considering any adjustments as opportunities to shift and change your thinking using reframing (for example, “I’m safe at home” as opposed to “I’m stuck at home”)
Viewing the glass (or the coffee cup!) as half full, as opposed to half empty
Appreciate your own privilege
Noticing “Negative Biases” and understanding that our brains are primed for the worst
Noticing your emotions and being okay with them when they show up
Meet others…and yourself….where you are at
Focusing on what you CAN do
Make a list of the ways YOU cope during COVID-19

5. Here is Julie’s List of ways of Calming the Chaos during The COVID-19 Quarantine:

It’s okay to break the rules
It’s good to have a structured routine that is also flexible
Find ways to accept reality and yet be encouraging
Meet and accept emotions when they arrive, and notice any resistance you have to doing this
Try Yoga…when other people tell you what to do, it can take the decision-making pressure away
Try mindful walking (notice the colors, birds and other sounds, smells outside)
Learn to Meditate…and try it with a friend!
Maintain connections with friends, family and colleagues
Enjoy eating without shame
Accept the self-care method(s) that are right for you

Julie has a positive view of the “Post-COVID-19 Quarantine” that includes:

Restructuring her schedule so that she’s not on the road as much
Using the time not spent traveling to help more people
Giving to others – sharing with others
Helping others
Telehealth some of the time, but enjoying being helpful in person
Valuing her self-care, her time, her family of choice, her clients and her colleagues

Thank you Julie, for sharing your knowledge with us!

Listen to “Calming the Chaos” Podcast by visiting calmingthechaos.libsyn.com, or visit my Website: at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Listen to Calming the Chaos!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

iTunes and Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Libsyn and Google Play: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

Follow Calming the Chaos!

Facebook Open Group: Lokahi Counseling, at https://www.facebook.com/CalmingTheC/

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Helping the Hangry - Part II

Sun, 19 Apr 2020 02:12:00 -0700

Episode Title: Helping the Hangry II – Continuing Interview with Katie Hart, LMHC, Certified Nutritionist

Intro: Katie is the founder of Hartsspace Mental Health and Nutrition. She believes in a whole person approach to wellness, and takes an innovative and individualized approach to providing health and wellness to each of her clients. She provides a variety of different options to help her clients manage their overall physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.

We’ll listen as Katie talks about the physiology of hunger, and how it works in the mind and the body to create the condition of “Hangry,” which is a combination of “Hunger” and “Anger.” This episode will help you become more aware of how “Hangry” can show up in your life and increase the chaos of your mind. Katie will also offer some mental health and nutrition tips, tools and techniques to help you prevent and cope with the condition of “Hangry,” when it shows up as chaos in your life.

How blood sugar levels (lifts and dips) contribute to the “Hangry” chaos of the mind

Think of cookies or rice: You can eat 5 cookies (or 3 cups of rice) and have a HUGE blood sugar lift, but then also experience a proportionate blood sugar dip afterward, which is harder on your system.

Alternatively, you can keep the cookies and rice (remember, there are no good or bad foods!) but decrease the quantity to avoid the HUGE blood sugar lift and dip).

Eating 2 cookies (as opposed to 5) and eating 1 cup of rice (as opposed to 3) can help you better regulate and balance your blood sugar and avoid being “Hangry”.

TIP: Don’t label foods as “Good” or “Bad.” All foods fit!

It’s about proper balance and good blood sugar regulation for optimal nutrition and mental health.

When your blood sugar is too low or too high it “Wakes up the Hangry Monster”

Waking up the Hangry Monsters increases the chaos of your mind

TIP: When you DO become out of balance in your blood sugar, you can stay regulated through the practice of mindfulness. Knowing what works well with YOUR system is key!
We are bombarded about what we need to do with our diets, and it gets complicated and confusing. There is not one way to do things. We’re all different, and there is no one right fix for everyone.

Notice what works for you, and your system, and practice doing that to regulate “Hangry.”

Tips and tools and cope with “Hangry”

Preventative Strategy: Have a good foundational knowledge of nutrition and balance proteins, fats and carbs in your diet to help you regulate blood sugar and emotions.

Approach any food or emotional issue from a place of non-judgmental understanding: You can be healed, and you are not alone!

To the people who DON’T notice hunger in the body:

Pay attention to what you eat in a more calculated way, using facts and the “appears reasonable” test about when you last ate.

Put yourself on a schedule and follow a Dietician’s guidelines or plan until you CAN feel hunger and fullness.

Do a “Body Scan,” which includes noticing what parts of your body feels uncomfortable, and have pain or tension

Approach every feeling with curiosity. Identify emotions and do a quick evaluation of the situation, your thoughts and your feelings. Decide what you will do using your knowledge of nutrition, blood sugar, and what you are thinking and feeling.

To the people who are NOT ON THE GO and feeling Hangry

Get the body regulating blood sugar. You can play around with “less of this” or “more of that” and think of alternatives to balance protein, carbs and fats each time you eat.

Work with your mindset and dispelling myths about food and your body:
- The fat on your body isn’t the same as the fat you eat
- attention to what you eat in a more calculated way, using facts and the “appears reasonable” test about when you last ate.

To the people who are ON THE GO and feeling Hangry

Pre-plan – prepare foods that have a balance of ALL (proteins, carbs and fats)

Examples are: Nuts. Beans. Dried Chicpeas. Hummus. Peanut butter. Portable and prepackaged foods that include hummus, vegetables, crackers, cheese, guacamole.

Prepare a “snack bag,” of things to have on hand to use when you need to have your blood sugar boosted in an effective way for you.
knowledge of nutrition, blood sugar, and what you are thinking and feeling.

Other tips

Don’t let your blood sugar get too low so that emotional responses to food will happen
You can have a snack before a meal, ifthis will help you regulate your blood sugar and not overeat
Make “Rational decisions” before you enjoy your eating experience.

Thank you Katie, for sharing your knowledge with us! You can contact Katie in the following ways:

Website: https://www.hartsspace.com

Open Facebook Group and Instagram: @hartsspace

Listen to “Calming the Chaos” Podcast by visiting calmingthechaos.libsyn.com, or my Website: at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can also listen on iTunes or Apple Podcasts and on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd.

or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow me!

Facebook Open Group: Lokahi Counseling, at https://www.facebook.com/lokahi.counseling.9

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Helping the Hangry with Katie Hart

Sat, 18 Apr 2020 19:28:00 -0700

Episode Title: Helping the Hangry – Interview with Katie Hart, LMHC, Certified Nutritionist at Hartsspace

The work Katie does

Dually certified as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Nutritionist

Helps a wide variety of children, adolescents and adults with Nutrition and Mental Health Conditions with counseling and food-based solutions.

Encourages people to explore their mental health AND Nutritional conditions in hopes to provide a nutritional foundation for wellness.

Katie’s story: why use both Mental Health AND Nutrition?

Her own experience taught her that when nutrition and exercise were in a more balanced state, she felt better emotionally and mentally.

Her desire to share what she learned in school and in life with others who have similar struggles

The physiology of hunger and increased intense emotions and how they lead to “Hangry”

When we are in a “fed” state (meaning we have eaten and are satisfied), we are NOT actively seeking food. We feel calm, mainly due to the neurochemical serotonin that is released into the body during a “fed” state

When we are in an “unfed” state (meaning we have not eaten and we’ve used up all our active reserves), we ARE actively seeking food. We feel more aggressive or anxious, mainly due to the neurochemical dopamine that is released into the body during an “unfed” state.

The body’s physiology can absolutely explain “Hangry.” Aggression happens when out bodies are in an unfed and “food seeking” state, which makes mood hormones increase (“I need food now!”)

In our world, we have food resources that are readily abundant, so in general we’re not as driven to find food because food is easily accessible.

There are times when our bodies get overly hungry, which can create an “unfed” state and cause increased irritation, decreased focus, and increased activation of dopamine.

TIP: Try not to judge yourself for feeling hungry. It’s the body’s way of alerting you that you are in an unfed state.

Kids and Adults

Kids are quicker to notice and regulate their hunger and fullness and pace themselves well. And, they are less able to regulate their emotions when their blood sugar drops

Adults are not as quick to notice or regulate their hunger and fullness, and don’t pace themselves as well as kids with food and eating. And, they are more able to regulate their emotions when their blood sugar drops. But they make up for it later by overeating to the point of overfullness.

Blood sugar and “Hangry”

High or low blood sugar can result in an imbalance of physiology AND emotional chaos
Low blood sugar happens when we haven’t eaten, and are in an “unfed” state.
High blood sugar can happen when we have overeaten, and are in an overly “fed” state
Low blood sugar can happen when you overeat! (a “residual reactive” low blood sugar level)

Thank you Katie, for sharing your knowledge with us! Because Katie has SO much information to offer us on the topic of Mental Health and Nutrition, we’ll have her back for Part 2 of “Help for the Hangry.” In that episode, we’ll talk more about blood sugar levels and how to regulate them using a specific combination of foods. Katie will also recommend some specific foods to have on hand to use to prevent and cope with “Hangry. She will also offer us some mindset strategies to use in times of “Hangry.”

You can contact Katie in the following ways:

Website: https://www.hartsspace.com

Open Facebook Group and Instagram: @hartsspace

Listen to “Calming the Chaos” Podcast by visiting calmingthechaos.libsyn.com, or my Website: at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can also listen on iTunes or Apple Podcasts at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578?ls=1

Listen on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow me!

Facebook Open Group: Lokahi Counseling, at https://www.facebook.com/lokahi.counseling.9

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

Thanks for listening, and take care!

Silver Linings

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 22:56:00 -0700

Episode Title: Silver Linings – Interview with Laura Vaillancourt, LMHC.

Intro: Laura is the founder of Eldercare Counseling and Guidance Services.

Laura provides elders and their caregivers with resources and help as they navigate through the healthcare system.

We’ll listen as Laura talks about the ways she calms the chaos in herself and especially her clients who are at increased vulnerability during the COVID-19 pandemic by seeing “Silver Linings” in the dark clouds of isolation and helplessness.

The work Laura does
- Providing counseling, care management and resources to the aging population who are either in skilled nursing facilities, or receiving care at home from loved ones.
- Working with those who are caring for an aging person with Elders and how she is managing the chaos of increased vulnerability in her elderly clients during COVID-19
How to work with elders and caregivers and give them the support they need when all parties are feeling the effects of continued efforts at quarantine, separation increased isolation?
- In “Normal Times,” Laura provides:
  - Counseling: support and resources to the elder populations and their caregivers

- - Care Management: A team who act as surrogate family members to educate them

- - Consulting: Laura consults as an expert in the aging population, meeting with families, defining problems and exploring solutions

- Since COVID-19, Laura still does this, but has gotten creative due to limitations on personal contact with clients.
“It happened overnight” and COVID-19 ran rampant in a skilled nursing facility in Seattle, near where she works in Washington State.
The most vulnerable populations are older adults and immune compromised individuals, who already struggle with physical / emotional loss and isolation
Facilities, have done a great job in their efforts to protect residents…and…this increased caution and protective measures have resulted in even more isolation for residents, and increased helplessness for their caregivers
- Older adults aren’t eating together, spending time alone in apartments
- Memory care clients typically don’t do well with change
- Caregivers feel very helpless and at a loss of how to support their loved ones during times when physical contact is limited or shut down.

- Elders and caregivers already have a lot of loss (i.e., decreased physical or memory functioning, decreased ability to communicate, helplessness, and disconnection).

How can you work with the caregivers and the elders with all of the chaos of COVID-19?
- Emphasize that although there are some things out of our control, we DO have control in some areas of our lives during times of chaos
- Reframing the situation (we can’t change the situation, but we CAN control our thinking, perceptions and reactions to the situation)
- Accepting what is, and moving forward with what is possible
- Choosing to see a difficult situation in a different, more positive light
- Consider what the benefits to the situation might be (Seeing the “Silver Linings”)
- Brainstorm the beauty of the situation (i.e., the caregivers at skilled nursing facilities now can become part of the family, and the caregivers can become a part of the professional team). Help caregivers not feel so isolated. Or giving the professionals gifts to thank them for their service.
- Continue to practice creative ways to see “Silver Linings” during times of separation, loneliness, isolation and helplessness.
- Brainstorming ideas to stay connected to loved ones and caregivers:
- Handwritten notes, cards and letters (facilities will sanitize them)
- Using technology when able (one facility bought all their residents iPads)

- Professionals help the elders with technology

- Groups at Facilities can be offered online via zoom.com for elders and families
- We’re all at different comfort levels with technology, and technology

- Facebook Group “Get in the Lifeboat”

- Post cards through apps and send it to the loved one via mail

A great “Silver Lining” is that we are forced to be creative in times of chaos!

Laura’s 5-Step Method on how to stay upbeat while separated / quarantined in your home:

Routine: Structure and routine can bring a sense of peace and stability to our lives during uncertainty and chaos.

Stay Connected: We are being challenged as individuals to stay connected during this time. You can feel isolated even when people are around you. So having a sense of connection and community is important.

Reframing and focus on Positivity / Limiting negativity

Listening to your inner guidance – catch yourself if you are listening, and then honor your inner voice

Set an intention: Being intentional about your self-care, this is a beautiful time to consider changing what you’d like to change, and what you’d like to welcome back into your life, and what you don’t want!

Some of MY Silver Linings:

Laughter – My husband and I created a funny video about toilet paper and put it on YouTube. You can watch it at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlKaXKhq-54&t=6s

My interview with Laura is also on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuGDtr63M-8&t=7s

I’ve reached out to therapists in our community to do more interviews and generate more ideas about how to calm the chaos!

We finally got my big filing and archiving project done!

After 2 years, we were able to have time to hook up our electronic keyboard, and I’m having a lot of fun creating music again!

My husband and I are taking more walks and watching less news

I’ve been able to work from home using Telehealth, and so now my clients know how to use Zoom.com (Also, my buddy Will, who created the music for this podcast, likes Zooming with me more than talking on the phone because he has a better connection. Go figure!)

We’ve gone through almost all of the Harry Potter movies

I’ve had more time to play with my cats

We’ve been having fun meal planning with what we have in our pantry

Thank you Laura, for sharing your ideas!

You can contact Laura in the following ways:

Website: https://www.lauravcoaching.com or https://www.eldercarecounselor.com

Open Facebook Group: “Get in the Lifeboat” at https://www.facebook.com/groups/getinthelifeboat/

Podcast (Coming soon!) “Life on Repeat” Sharing resources, emotional support and self-care

Listen to “Calming the Chaos” Podcast by visiting calmingthechaos.libsyn.com, or my Website: at www.lokahicounseling.com

You can also listen on iTunes or Apple Podcasts and on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow me!

Facebook Open Group: Lokahi Counseling, at https://www.facebook.com/lokahi.counseling.9

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

Thanks for listening, and take care!

World Chaos - Part II

Sun, 08 Mar 2020 16:57:00 -0700

Episode Title: World Chaos – Part II

In this episode of “Calming the Chaos,” I’ll continue to talk about the chaos that continues to happen in our world today. This is an update from the podcast episode in February of 2020 when I talked about the Coronavirus, because things are changing quickly in our world today!

Besides the Coronavirus there are two other contagions that are spreading across the world and have been labeled “Chaotic.” The stock market fluctuations and the tornado in Tennessee.

Health Chaos

Market Chaos

Natural Disaster (Tornado) Chaos

The intention of this podcast episode is to do the following: 1) Review the definition of “Chaos,” along with the difference between real and perceived chaos 2) Attempt to sort through these three events and determine whether they are real or perceived chaos for you 3) Give you a story about my own personal experience in the past month and where I am now 4) Give you one tip that can help you cope with real or perceived chaos

I. Let’s review the definition of “chaos”

• Complete disorder

• Unpredictable behavior

• Random or intense situations

• Small changes that happen in bundles or are sensitive in nature

• Disorganized

• Confused mass or mixture.

Real Chaos vs. Perceived Chaos – both have to do with the emotion “fear”

Real Chaos: Life threatening emergencies. These include anything uncontained, such natural disasters, (floods, fires, traffic accidents, mass shootings, riots, power outages). Real chaos can cause fear, which helps us take action in times of real emergencies.

Perceived Chaos: Is stressful, but non-life-threatening. Those things that “feel chaotic” and the things one tends to perceive as disorganized, random or intense, and that are just “too much” to handle. Like fear of germs or natural disasters, flying, or losing all of your money.

Since both Real and Perceived Chaos are related to fear, here are some examples of real fear / real chaos, and perceived fear / perceived chaos

Example I – Real Fear. If we…

• Fear that a germ can kill us, and we have underlying health issues, are having symptoms and are at high risk

• Fear that a tornado will destroy our home, and we live in Tennessee and our home was destroyed

• Fear that the stock market will take all our money, and all our money is indeed gone

All of these situations can result in real fear, and can cause “real chaos.”

Example II – Perceived Fear. If we…

• Fear that a germ can kill us, and we’re feeling fine

• Fear that a tornado will destroy our home, and we still have a home

• Fear that the stock market will take all our money, and we still have money

All of these situations are likely perceived fear, and can cause “perceived chaos.”

II. How do you know if your chaos is real, perceived, or both?

The ACE Method:

a. Awareness – neutrally noticing b. Check the facts Evaluate: If it is real, the facts will tell you, and you will need to take action to solve the problems.

If it is real, the facts will tell you, and you’ll need to take action to keep yourself safe

• Health Chaos / Coronavirus: Keep yourself, family and others safe from disease

• Market Chaos: Figure out the best options for your finances (financial planner, free financial resources)

• Tornado Chaos: Keep your physical body safe and well while you are homeless

If it is perceived, the facts will tell you, and you’ll need to take action to calm your inner chaos, or the chaos of your mind, while being free from danger.

• Health Chaos / Coronavirus: Enjoy being well!

• Market Chaos: Be grateful for the money you have!

• Tornado Chaos: Enjoy the home you live in, and the people and family members

III. My own personal journey: The Influenza.

a. At work, I opened Louise Hay’s book “Heal your Body.”

b. I looked up influenza, and wondered, “What does Louise Hay say about this?”

• Influenza = possible emotional response to mass negativity and beliefs. Fear. Belief in statistics

o Tell yourself: “I am beyond group beliefs of the calendar. I am free from all congestion and influence.

• Respiratory Ailments = possible emotional response to fear of taking in life fully

o Tell yourself: “I am safe. I love my life.”

c. At home, I noticed social Media posts from well-meaning professionals who are trying to help people…but I noticed some panic. Could it be that these well-meaning professionals (including myself) are actually increasing chaos and overwhelm?

The reality that I could be part of the problem by offering too many resources, tips, tools and techniques hit me like a ton of bricks. “There has to be a better way to handle this!”

d. I decided to look up the Wikipedia definition of Influenza. It comes from the Italian word that means “Influence,” or “illness due to unfavorable influences.

i. Unfavorable = “Not Helpful

ii. Influences = “The power to affect someone or something.”

So….Influenza means “The power to affect someone or something in an unhelpful way.

This made me re-think the amount of information I offer my listeners, as I consider the possibility that I may actually be part of the problem of overwhelm.

IV. One Skill: “Shift your mind toward what is good, truthful and helpful for you.”

This can look like….

Being mindful of unhelpful influences

Refusing unhelpful suggestions that could cause panic or paranoia (“You need to fear this!”)

Taking in positive suggestions (“I’ll do what I can, when I can, and have faith that things will work out”)

Keeping the law, and not breaking it like people did in my home town of Olympia (they stole protective masks from one of our local hospitals)

Appreciating your surroundings, including the people, places and animals in your life

Practicing Gratitude

Conclusion: Do what’s best for you!

Listen to “Calming the Chaos” Podcast by visiting calmingthechaos.libsyn.com or my Website: at www.lokahicounseling.com and click on the Podcast page with ways to get to my podcast.

On my website, there’s a link to a mindfulness CD I created called “On This Day.” This CD teaches you how to practice mindfulness in less than 10 minutes throughout the day.

Practicing mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress and increase clear thinking in times of chaos.

You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd. or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow me!

Facebook: Lokahi Counseling, at https://www.facebook.com/lokahi.counseling.9

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

Thanks for listening, and take care!

The Chaos of Recovery

Fri, 28 Feb 2020 22:53:00 -0700

Episode Title: The Chaos of Recovery with Stacy Schilter-Pisano, LMFT, CEDS

In this episode of “Calming the Chaos,” we’ll be talking to Stacy Schilter-Pisano, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Eating Disorders Specialist at The Emily Program in Washington State. The Emily program offers a variety of different ways to help those who struggle with eating disorders find recovery.

Stacy and I are both passionate about treating eating disorders in our local, national and international communities. And so now, during National Eating Disorders Awareness week, let’s listen to Stacy and I talk… as two Certified Eating Disorders Specialists….about the chaos that can happen in the minds and bodies of those who are struggling with eating disorders, and especially in those who decide that they want to enter into a program to find recovery.

Let’s listen in!

Stacy’s Introduction – The Emily Program

The Emily program offers Intensive Outpatient, Intensive Outpatient or Partial Hospitalization services to treat clinical Eating Disorders and Body Image Dissatisfaction.
Their goal is to help those who struggle with food, eating and body image recover from behavior patterns that they have been using for coping with stress, and find recovery.

The steps to recovery: When the environment changes – Chaos Happens!

Intake: Just getting the courage about an eating disorder creates chaos
1. Their mental health experience, their lived experience and experience with food
2. Am I sick enough to admit? Or downplaying or minimizing their sickness
3. People experience some chaos with being vulnerable talking about their behaviors that have been secret
4. Fear: People might find out about me…is there someone who knows me and find out what I am struggling with?
5. Is the intake provider judging me? (Racing thoughts)
6. When feedback or recommendations happens, there is a LOT of chaos

After the recommendation, clients experience:

Mental gymnastics - fear of changing, and “what you are suggesting requires me to make some major changes in my life to recover. Overturning life doesn’t seem feasible
A Higher level of care (Residential or a 35 hour per week commitment) results in an acceptance of reality and deciding what to do…admit or not?
50-60% Accept the recommendation – Acceptance of reality
20-30% don’t accept, but will do another service (such as outpatient treatment)
Motivation is low: on a scale of 1-10 (one meaning not motivated and 10 meaning extremely motivated), most people are usually 2-4…not sure they want to do the things that are required of them to get well.

How to calm the chaos when people admit to the program

Warm, welcoming and calming environment and space
Tour of the space and give them an idea of what to expect / experience
The first day: orientation with Dietician, Medical and Therapist
Describe to them in structure and information in advance – help them feel welcomed and comfortable
Giving them a semblance of what will happens eases the mind
1. Therapists help them feel grounded in the program
2. Dieticians and Therapists help them feel grounded when eating
Skills coaching when chaos gets really intense

Prompting to self-soothe using the four senses (the fifth being taste)
Prompting to distract when it gets really difficult

Turning the mind away from the chaos that threaten to overwhelm

Checking the facts: “Will that food you eat make you fat?” Dietician can help you check the facts.

Motivational interviewing: “Why did you actually enter this program, anyway?”

Do people get used to it and use skills automatically?

Yes, over time they do get used to using

How do you help yourself?

Empaths experience people’s distress

Neutrally noticing my own responses (angst within myself)

Notice your own experience

Non-judgmental

Self-Validating – it deserves honoring

Letting go of things that are beyond my control

Turning mind away from the client that may not be okay, but I can be okay

Experiencing emotions and not judging the emotions or the experiences

Being curious about what is showing up

As a therapist, take no credit for what the people do or not

How Therapists do Self-Care

Stacy: Mind-candy, stories, take me away from the therapeutic experiences, - decompressing tims

Tracy: Audiobooks – hear a story and take me away

Information and links:

The Emily Program is a national program, based in Minnesota, Ohio, Pittsburgh and Washington State. Each location offers individualized care for eating disorders, including assessment and treatment at a variety of different levels of care and within a variety of different disciplines, including Medical, Psychiatric, Psychotherapy, Yoga and Art Therapy and Dietician Assistance.

Find out more information about The Emily Program at

www.emilyprogram.com

You can follow “Calming the Chaos” podcast in a variety of different ways!

Podcast Website: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com

Tracy’s Website: www.lokahicounseling.com

Facebook: Lokahi Counseling, at https://www.facebook.com/lokahi.counseling.9

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

World Chaos

Sun, 16 Feb 2020 19:23:00 -0700

Episode Title: World Chaos

In this episode of “Calming the Chaos,” we’ll be talking about a situation that is happening right now in our world…in February of 2020, that appears to be chaotic. The Coronavirus.

The intention of this podcast is to:

1) Give you tips, tools and techniques to help you cope with any mental chaos you have when you hear news of chaos and / or chaotic events around the world

2) To see how the people directly involved in this situation are handling their “chaos.”

Before going into the two situations, let’s review the definition of “chaos”

What is Chaos? (A review)

Complete disorder
Unpredictable behavior
Random or intense situations
Small changes that happen in bundles or are sensitive in nature
Disorganized
(And my favorite) A confused mass or mixture.

Perceived Chaos vs. Real Chaos

Perceived Chaos: Is stressful, but non-life-threatening. Those things that “feel chaotic” and the things one tends to perceive as disorganized, random or intense, and that are just “too much” to handle. Like fear of flying, an argument with a friend or family member, being bombed by unkind text messages, or just looking at the mail…or your hall closet!

Real Chaos: Life threatening emergencies. These include anything uncontained, such natural disasters, (floods, fires, traffic accidents, mass shootings, riots, power outages).

The Coronavirus: History. And let’s consider how it meets the definition of chaos

How it meets the definition of chaos – All of the above

How I handled hearing about it – Initial panic, breathing, calming the body, checking the facts. “What’s true now?”

How people directly affected are handling it – The Cruise Ship Diamond Princess

Lady from Oregon, tested positive and was separated from her husband while in quarantine and receiving medical treatment.

Skills used:

Social media to communicate with husband, family and friends
Watching movies
Thinking positively (positive suggestions) “We’ll be home soon”
Noticing signs in her body

Elderly male who wasn’t in quarantine, but didn’t receive 2 hour updates as promised, and didn’t receive food for over 12 hours. “I could go into a coma if I don’t eat soon.”

Passengers who don’t test positive, but feel like “sitting ducks.” Vulnerable.

One family not separated, but making the most of it. “We consider ourselves lucky that we haven’t been separated from our children.” They are coping using exercising, stretching, using social media to chat with friends and family, playing games, watching movies, but in general, missing out on the life they want to live, and the things they want to do outside of the cruise ship cabin.

Update: Those who choose to return to the United States on the charter aircraft will be required to undergo another 14 days of quarantine. "We understand this is frustrating and an adjustment, but these measures are consistent with the careful policies we have instituted to limit the potential spread of the disease."

Skills and tools we can use:

The “NICE” method works for those who are directly and indirectly affected by real chaos:

Notice the feelings in your body
Identify and validate the emotion(s)
Calm the body using soothing technique
Evaluate your connection to the source: how much news do you really want:

An obsessive news listener
A regular news listener
A mindful news listener
A “No News at all” listener

Conclusion: Whether you are affected by real chaos, or whether you are affected by the media’s portrayal of the real chaos others are experiencing, it’s good to learn to notice your feelings, and how they show up in your body.

When you are directly affected by a chaotic situation, you’ll see your environment change, and you are faced with having to make adjustments to keep yourself safe. You can use the NICE Method.

Also, when you are indirectly affected by seeing chaos in the news, the NICE method still works.

And from there, you’ll find a calmer place in your mind to deal with the real chaos that is happening in your life or find a calmer place in your mind to deal with the chaos you see happening to other people.

Visit my Website: at www.lokahicounseling.com and click on the Podcast page with ways to get to my podcast.

Practicing mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress and increase clear thinking in times of chaos.

On my website, under the Podcast page, there is a link to my CD “On This Day,” which teaches you to teach you mindfulness in less than 10 minutes throughout the day. You can purchase the CD on Amazon at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd, or in digital format at https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

Follow me!

Facebook: Lokahi Counseling, at https://www.facebook.com/lokahi.counseling.9

Twitter (@the_calming)

Instagram (calmingthec)

LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kenela-79935b5/)

YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7qISnLR8T4g-bSDu-pW9LQ?view_as=subscriber

Libsyn: calmingthechaos.libsyn.com/

Captain Cranky-Pants

Sun, 02 Feb 2020 20:37:00 -0700

Podcast Episode: Captain Cranky-Pants

In this episode of “Calming the Chaos,” we’ll be talking about an emotion of “Cranky,” an emotion that is a relative in the “Anger” family. You’ll receive a description of what it feels like to be cranky, and how this particular emotion can put you at risk for having more chaos in your life. Through stories and situations, you’ll learn some tips, tools and techniques to help you manage the chaos of your mind when YOU are “Captain Cranky-Pants.

1. How cranky can show up in your life.

a. It can show up unexpectedly, and make you more vulnerable to the major emotions we’ve already discussed, as well as their related family members. b. Crankiness is an emotion that can serve a purpose, remember…once you experience emotions, your chaos increases. And…emotions do serve purposes. c. Since the purpose of this podcast is to decrease the chaos you feel in your life, we want to give you skills to decrease your crankiness.

2. L will tell you a story about a specific situation when I’ve experienced being Captain CrankyPants, and what I did to handle being in that role. a. As you’re listening to the story, try thinking about what YOU would done in this situation. b. At the end of the story, I’ll point out the ways I believe I handled the situation effectively and ineffectively, and also what I learned from the experience. c. I will also give you some tips and tools that you can use to handle a similar situation. I. What is cranky? Old men and women….and…My cat Oscar When I was a kid, and people didn’t like me playing near their lawns

My cat Oscar, who would stride toward me with an intense look in his eyes, saying “MEOOOOW” and looking like he was none too happy about what was going on. Food. Lap.

Cranky shows up unexpectedly, when you …

• Suddenly realize that you are not happy about what is going on. It could be something physical, like a stomach ache, or painful body feeling. • A person or entity appears and interferes with what you want to happen. (In my case, The Internal Revenue Service. or IRS).

II. Why does cranky make sense?

Cranky makes sense because anger makes sense. Anger happens when what you DO want ISN’T happening, and what you DON’T want IS happening. So of course, this could make you cranky!

SKILL: If you are feeling cranky now, try and use the skill of validation of emotions. Try saying to yourself, My crankiness makes sense because……. (for example, I feel a certain way, and something is getting IN m way of me getting something done).

III. Story One day, I just woke up, and I was Captain Cranky-Pants!

Symptoms of cranky include (but aren’t limited to) the following: a. Tired b. Headache, back ache c. Low energy d. My family members were upbeat….I wasn’t! e. People were needy, but so was I. Who was attending to my needs?. f. Things kept getting in my way of accomplishing my goal g. Emails. Schedule changes. More things to do. Blah, blah, blah h. Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors

i. Thoughts: I’ve done everything I can. And yet nothing gets accomplished.

ii. Feelings: Despair. Sadness. Anger

iii. Behaviors: Eye rolling. Lip pursing. Fist clenching. Some emails and phone calls that are overly aggressive.

IV. Looking back, what could have been done differently?

• “Kept a firm eye on my behaviors. Even though I felt cranky, I could act differently

• Get more sleep. Practice more self-care. Identify energy drains, and eliminate them from my life, and identify energy resources, and put more of them into my life.

• Set an intention to be upbeat, even when you are not upbeat.

• Attend to your own needs. You can’t expect everyone to attend to your needs…do it yourself

• Pace yourself: emails, schedule changes and things to do can come in time. Pace yourself. Do what you can in the moment, and save the other stuff for later

Skills and tools: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

1. Identify emotion. “I am cranky” 2. Validate emotion. “It makes sense that I am cranky because” 3. Set an intention: “What would I like to do instead?” 4. Visualize yourself doing something other than being cranky

Conclusion: It is so important to recognize crankiness, step back, validate emotions, use skills, and visualize yourself doing something other than being cranky. This may not give you a perfect life, but it sure can improve the quality of the life you are living, If you want a peaceful life, recognize when emotions are happening, consider what to do instead, and visualize yourself doing something other than being cranky.

If you liked this podcast, please subscribe, rate and review it through iTunes / Apple Music: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578

You can also look at past episodes by clicking the link http://calmingthechaos.libsyn.com/

• Further Resources:

1. Access Tracy’s website for resources to “Calming the Chaos” podcast and other links to help you: http://lokahicounseling.com/podcast/

2. Tracy’s CD on calming the mind. It’s called “On This Day.” This CD is available on CD and Digital format through Amazon, Spotify and Apple music at the following links

a. Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/This-Day-Tracy-Kenela/dp/B00JJC4G64

b. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4Ob1hFmBuXYcdtjY1Fr903

Oceans of Emotions

Sun, 19 Jan 2020 00:10:00 -0700

Podcast Episode: Oceans of Emotions

This episode of “Calming The Chaos” we discuss the emotional chaos that can happen when stressful or chaotic situations occur in your life.

You’ll learn about the five main “Families” of emotions, and the purposes these emotions can serve in times of chaos.

Through stories and situations, you will learn some tips and tools and techniques that can help you though times of emotional chaos.

What are emotions?

The Big 5 “Family” of emotions

Fear (and its relatives include worry, anxiety, stress, panic, terror) – “The Grand-Daddy” of all emotions shows up when you think you are in danger. As is true with chaos, fear can be

• Real fear (like an emergency situation where your physical body or emotional self is in danger of being hurt)

• Perceived fear (when your mind thinks it is in physical or emotional danger).

Purpose of Fear: to warn you of impending danger. Fear helps you “To survive and remain alive”

Fears can range from being chased or pursued by someone intending to harm you or a loved one, or specific fears of harm to family, health, home, emotional fears (including hurt or rejection). Anger (and its relatives include irritation, annoyance, frustration)

Shows up when you think something is in the way of an important goal, or when someone or something is harming, humiliating or shaming you or someone you care about. Anger can also show when: • You think you are getting something you DON’T want • You think you AREN’T getting something you do want. Purpose of Anger: To get things done, whether through attack or defense. It can show you that action needs to be taken. Some choose violent ways to “get things done,” while others get more creative. Anger is the fuel for you to take action to get things done . Sadness (and its relatives include depression, disappointment, defeat) Shows up when you have loss, or think you have loss. It also shows up when things in your life aren’t what you want or expect them to be.

Purpose of Sadness: to get your priorities aligned, and so that changes can be made in your life so that you have more of what you want your life to be, and less of what you don’t want it to be. It can be useful for new beginnings, setting new priorities, making changes.

Guilt (and its relative includes regret) Shows up when you think you are doing something “wrong,” like hurting people or damaging property or breaking the law.

Purpose of guilt is so that you can recognize wrong behavior….behavior that hurts and abuses others or things. and, so that you can make repairs to the people or things that have been damaged.

Shame (and its relatives include embarrassment, humiliation). Shows up when you think you ARE something wrong. Shame is often mis-perceived. Like the perception that most people have clean homes, and I don’t. It shows up as shame, as who I am something wrong. When in reality, that’s just not true. I can be a good person…and…have a messy home! All of these emotions can happen in times of chaos, and can show up because of your perceptions about you and your world.

I. A story from my life: When I had “Oceans of emotions” Flying over the ocean.

a. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on myself: Situation, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors

i. Situation: Flight home delayed. Aching back, Customs took forever. Need to catch a connecting flight. Running through LAX to catch the flight. Noisy. Missed the flight. Need to spend the night in LA. Hungry, tired, back hurt. Anger. Hurt. Fear. They said they would make it right, but they didn’t give us a meal voucher!

ii. Plan: We would do whatever we could to get home. Get sleep. Go to the airport. Not a lot of sleep, so I had coffee, even though I knew I had a bad relationship with coffee being an aid to anxiety.

iii. Situation: On the plane back to Seattle. I was okay for a while, but when turbulence hit…..I FREAKED OUT!

iv. Thoughts: “We’re going to crash. I’ll never make it home, never see my cats again.” “I will never be able to do the things I want to do.” “My clients will be without a counselor.” “I will be doomed.”

v. Feelings: Fear. Panic. Sadness. Despair. Embarrassment.

vi. Behaviors: Crying uncontrollably on the plane. But I held my head up.

II. Here’s what I could have done better

a. Aware – Mindfulness. Also being aware of the facts. Or, view it from a different perspective…maybe as a bad comedy.

b. Awake - Use skills to calm down the body. I could have used more breathing and self-soothe the 5 senses to help calm me. Describing my environment. The visual pictures that were awake in my mind were all of destruction. So I could have changed my mindset, and visualized success and not failure.

c. Alive – Take action. In my mind, think more optimistically, and tell myself another story. I say to my clients, “Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Validate emotions.

d. Alight – Even if you don’t feel this way. What TRULY matters anyway? Nobody has died yet. It’s not over till it’s over. The practice of mindfulness could have helped here, visualizing each second as it passes as one where I am still alive.

III. Skill of the day

Validate Your Emotions: This is when you tell yourself “It makes sense that I feel this way,” and list the reasons why it makes sense that you are having an emotion.

i. Fear: “Of course I feel afraid, because I can actually die in a plane crash.”

ii. Anger: “Of course I feel angry, because If it hadn’t been for those idiots at customs, I would have been home already, and not on this turbulent flight.”

iii. Sadness “Of course I feel sad, because I’m thinking of future loss.”

iv. Guilt: “Of course I feel guilty, because if I hadn’t gone on this trip in the first place, none of this would be happening.”

v. Shame: “Of course I feel shame, because the decisions I’ve made led me here.”

IV. Skills I used on the plane: Breathing slowly, self=-soothe using touch and smell of my husband, and positive thinking: “We will be okay.”

V. Conclusion: It is important to recognize when chaos happens, step back, use skills.

a. Aware, Awake, Alive, Alight. b. This may not give you a perfect life, but it sure can improve the quality of the life you are living, in the moments you are experiencing either real or perceived chaos. If you want a peaceful life

VI. Further Resources:

1. Access Tracy’s website for resources and links to help you calm the chaos: http://lokahicounseling.com/podcast/

2. Access my podcast through the following means • Through iTunes / Apple Music at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/calming-the-chaos/id1489271578

b. Through a direct feed, by clicking the link http://calmingthechaos.libsyn.com/

• Tracy’s CD on calming the mind. It’s called “On This Day.” This CD is available on CD and Digital format through Amazon, Spotify and Apple music at the following links

a. Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/This-Day-Tracy-Kenela/dp/B00JJC4G64

b. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4Ob1hFmBuXYcdtjY1Fr903

c. Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-this-day/1209386067

New Years Fears

Sun, 05 Jan 2020 20:49:00 -0700

This episode is for those who feel overwhelmed by life, and are also putting so much pressure on themselves to accomplish things in the New Year that they find themselves even more overwhelmed, stressed out, anxious, depressed, angry, or scared. Some of these people struggle with an addictions, disordered eating or relationship problems. This episode will give you some tips, tools and techniques that can help you manage your mental and emotional chaos in 2020.

Mind Traffic

Tue, 17 Dec 2019 03:08:00 -0700

The traffic that happens when driving on the roads and highways is compared with the traffic that happens in our minds during times of chaos. The pace at which your thoughts travel, the time you spend thinking, and the difficulty of our thoughts often leads to unwanted behaviors. This episode will focus on how to best deal with traffic, both in our vehicles and in our minds, and will provide you with some tools and techniques to manage both!

Black Friday Blues

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 14:39:00 -0700

Title: Black Friday Blues

In this episode, we’ll be talking about The Chaos of the Holiday Season. An example of how Holiday Chaos can start…. on Thanksgiving, on Black Friday, and beyond that into Cyber Monday. How the energy changes during this time of year.

A couple of short stories about how I have experienced holiday chaos on Black Fridays, or “The Black Friday Blues”

A Story of Black Friday past,
A Story of a Black Friday present

I’ll then present some tips and tools to help you handle Holiday Chaos in the Black Friday future. Managing anxiety, depression and emotional overwhelm can be done!

Thanking your Mind

Thu, 28 Nov 2019 22:17:02 -0700

Title: ___Thanking your mind ___________________________

It just so happens that this episode is being released on Thanksgiving Day.

For some of us, Thanksgiving is a celebration, where we give thanks by eating food. It also can include spending time with friends and family, watching football, having fun, or maybe even planning for Black Friday shopping.

For other people, this particular holiday can be frightening, frustrating, filled with obsessive thoughts of food, fears of fullness, and feeling fat.

Food and eating can be such a struggle for some people.

If you, or someone you care about is struggling with food, eating or body image, this episode can help you become more mindful about your OWN relationship with food, and possibly lead you toward making a mental shift toward managing your relationship with food more effectively.

Remember, the purpose of this podcast is to get all of us working together to calm the chaos. And I can’t think of anything more chaotic to a person who struggles with food than being with people on Thanksgiving…where it’s all about the food!

Some ways that people struggle with food, eating and body image

They are often struggling with feelings. Painful emotions such as anxiety, fear, sadness and shame, and people use food in a variety of different ways to cope with those feelings.

Example: a person who is anxious or depressed might use drugs or alcohol to cope with painful feelings, some people use food.

Some people avoid food.

Others can’t get enough of it.

Still others eat till they are painfully full and then devise ways to get rid of the food.

The important thing to take away from all of this is that somehow, doing these things with food help the person feel better for a time. However, the long term effects of using food to cope with feelings are often harder to manage and treat than someone who uses drugs or alcohol.

Scenarios on Thanksgiving
1. The Food Police
2. The body commenter (good and bad)
3. Thoughts, feelings and behaviors (Think, feel, do)
  1. Thoughts about food lead to feelings, then behaviors with food
4. The food pusher
5. The Dieter
6. Unkind remarks in general (even if not directed at anyone in the room)

Skills and tools for those who do struggle, and how they can cope:
1. Prepare before the big day by thinking of possible things that could happen, and ways to cope. Visualize yourself coping well with the worst possible situation

Keep your confidence
Be your own best friend

Don’t forget to use breathing techniques

Know your zones: scope out the landscape, and safe spots
Use mindfulness to notice, early on, any signs of panic, fear, sadness, shame.
Breathe into the feeling. A skill called expanding is where you open up and make room for the feelings, breathe into it, instead of pushing them away.
Thank your mind…on Thanksgiving….for all the thoughts its giving you. Why? Because it’s trying to help you feel better and protect you from harm.

Then…ask your mind to take a step back

1. Pace yourself: go slowly through the process. Treat it as if it’s a normal day. Enjoy food, and be thankful for it. Know your limits. Enjoy the process. Go slowly.
2. Choose your battles wisely…if at all. Cope ahead for this – DBT skill
3. BE THANKFUL! This is the purpose of the day. Be thankful for something.
Skills and tools for those who don’t struggle, and how they can be more supportive:

Learn about eating disorders – https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

so that you will recognize the signs when you see them

Know the difference between myths and facts.

Set aside some time to have a private conversation – be prepared for it to be difficult

Express your love and support.

Share your own difficult experiences and painful emotions, or with food.

Suggest that the person seek help from a physician and/or therapist. Eating disorders are complex illnesses and require treatment from professionals.

Try not to ignore the problem. Confronting in a caring way, not judging, trying to understand.

Set boundaries to preserve your own emotional well-being.

Conclusion: It is so important to recognize what you have in life, and be thankful!

My Website: has a resources page and link to my CD “On This Day,” which teaches you to teach you mindfulness in less than 10 minutes throughout the day. You can also reach the Amazon link at http://bit.ly/onthisdaycd

Appreciative eating: http://bit.ly/appreciativeeating

My open Facebook Group: Do a search on Facebook on “Calming the Chaos,” or reach it directly at http://bit.ly/calmingthechaos1

What is Chaos?

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 08:00:00 -0700

In this episode, I will introduce myself and give you an overview of what chaos is, the different ways it can appear in your life, and how…when it appears, some emotions can appear….such as stress, worry, anxiety, fear, anger….or even shame, sadness or depression.

I will then tell you a story from my own chaotic life. I’ll point out the ways I believe I handled the situation effectively, and ineffectively, and what I learned from the experience. I will also give you some tips and tools you can use to handle a similar situation.