cMonkX Radio

Personal Journal Podcasts - What's the point? DJI Mic Mini 3 test

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 17:00:00 +0200

I’m diving into something a bit out there today—recording this podcast outside with a nifty little DJI mic mini 3 that’s blowing my mind with its clarity and noise protection. It’s surreal for me to reflect on my history with field recordings, but here I am, embracing this tiny device that feels almost impractical yet is incredibly convenient for capturing my thoughts. I can’t help but wonder about the future of this podcast, which used to be my flagship project but has taken a backseat to my other growing endeavors, like the Unreal Engine Diaries. I find myself questioning whether there’s still a demand for this kind of casual, introspective content that has no grand agenda, and honestly, it’s a bit bizarre to think about. As I wander through Berlin, I hope you’ll join me in this rambling chat, pondering the role of personal journals in today's podcasting landscape and maybe even sparking a connection along the way. The podcast takes a deep dive into the world of field recording and the surprising capabilities of modern technology, particularly focusing on the remarkable DJI mic. As I share my experiences, I can't help but marvel at how this tiny device produces sound quality that rivals much larger, traditional recording units. It's almost absurd to think that something so compact can deliver such clarity and noise protection. The convenience of this microphone means I can confidently record my thoughts while wandering through Berlin, capturing not just the sounds around me but also the essence of my musings. This episode serves as a reflection on the evolution of my podcasting journey, where I began with grand ambitions for my flagship podcast, only to find myself pondering its relevance in today's content landscape. As I juggle with feelings of doubt about the future of this particular podcast, I begin to question whether there's still an audience for this style of personal, unedited audio diaries that I cherish so much. In exploring the nature of podcasting, I reflect on my shift from my original show to the more successful Unreal Engine Diaries. This juxtaposition leads me to contemplate the unique niche that my podcast represents—one that is perhaps too introspective in a world that craves solutions and guidance. I find it striking how my desire for a raw and unfiltered audio experience seems to stand apart from the mainstream demand for polished and purpose-driven content. The essence of this podcast, intended as a companion for listeners, now feels overshadowed by a perception that it lacks the commercial viability that fuels many popular shows. Yet, I remain curious about the personal value I find in these recordings, the joy of sharing my thoughts with an audience, no matter how small it may be. As I wrap up this episode, I’m torn between the nostalgic allure of traditional podcasting and the modern shift toward interactive content. The idea of creating a virtual radio station that blends my personal audio diaries with an immersive experience in gaming feels like a fitting evolution, merging the old with the new. I invite listeners to engage with me, to share their thoughts on this unconventional journey, and to ponder the future of podcasting together. With a blend of introspection, humor, and a touch of existential questioning, this episode captures the spirit of what it means to create in a rapidly changing digital landscape—one that I hope resonates with anyone who has ever felt a bit lost in their creative pursuits.

contact: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Takeaways:

I shared my excitement about using a small DJI microphone for field recording adventures, which has been a game changer for my podcasting.
Reflecting on my podcast journey, it feels surreal to see how far field recording has come, especially with technology like this.
Despite my flagship podcast taking a backseat, I find joy in my Unreal Engine Diaries podcast, which is growing without any promotion.
It's fascinating to think about the unique nature of this podcast, designed as a companion rather than a solution, which might not resonate widely with audiences.
I realize that the personal journal style of podcasting I enjoy could be deemed impractical in today's fast-paced content landscape, making me wonder about its future.
While I question the relevance of my podcast, I find satisfaction in creating an intimate connection through audio, even considering new ways to engage listeners.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

DJI
Unreal Engine

Vibe Coding: The Art of Frivolous Programming

Wed, 08 Apr 2026 21:30:00 +0200

After enduring a grueling 11-hour bus ride from Poland to Germany, I found myself reflecting on the whirlwind of ideas that accompanied my journey. Despite the exhaustion, I was invigorated by the creative energy sparked by my coding projects with AI. This episode dives into the exhilarating process of "vibe coding," where I explore how AI has transformed my ability to bring ideas to life, from building simple apps to immersive 3D games. We also tackle the growing pressure to monetize our passions in a world that often undervalues creative pursuits, and how this mindset can stifle genuine exploration. Join me as I share my thoughts on navigating the intersection of technology and creativity, and the importance of staying engaged in a rapidly evolving digital landscape.

contact me: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cmonkx

Takeaways:

Traveling from Poland to Germany turned into an exhausting 11-hour ordeal on a bus, highlighting the unpredictability of public transportation.
The excitement of coding with AI can lead to unexpected productivity, even during long hours on a bus.
I've discovered that the creative process is just as rewarding as finishing a project, and it's vital not to lose sight of that joy.
Vibe coding is a fun and accessible way for people to engage with technology without getting bogged down by technical details.

Links referenced in this episode:

instagram

Returning from a chaotic journey, I found myself reflecting on the benefits and drawbacks of travel. The 11-hour bus ride from Poland to Germany was supposed to be a simple, seven-hour trip. However, unexpected delays at the border turned my plans upside down. Despite the discomfort of being cooped up in a bus for hours, I discovered a surprising silver lining: the opportunity to dive deep into my passion for coding with AI. As I sat in a comfortable front seat, I was able to explore new ideas and projects, creating a 3D game and coding tools that I had long dreamed of but struggled to realize alone. This experience highlights the tension between the monotony of travel and the creative energy that can thrive in unexpected situations. The conversation then shifted towards the concept of “vibe coding,” a term I use to describe playful, spontaneous coding aided by AI. I delved into how this new approach has transformed my creative process, allowing me to work more efficiently and effectively than ever before. AI becomes not just a tool but a collaborator, helping me refine my ideas and overcome the mental blocks that previously hindered my progress. As we discussed the significance of pursuing creativity for its own sake, I reflected on how the pressure to monetize every hobby can stifle our intrinsic motivation to create and explore. The journey also sparked a discussion about the challenges contemporary creators face in a world that increasingly demands practical outputs from our passions. While I find joy in coding without the expectation of immediate profit, many around me struggle to justify their creative pursuits. This leads to a larger conversation about the evolving landscape of creativity and technology, and how we must adapt to thrive in a world where AI plays an ever-growing role. As I look towards the future, I’m excited to see how these developments will shape not only my work but also the broader creative community.

Returning to Poland: When Home Feels Foreign

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 23:45:00 +0200

I'm recording this from Gliwice — a quiet town in southern Poland where my sister lives, and a place that feels both deeply familiar and strangely distant at the same time.

Getting here was an eight-hour bus ride from Berlin. I used most of it for work, which says something about where my head is at. But arriving here, walking these streets, something shifts. There's a weight to coming back — not a bad weight, just the kind that makes you slow down and ask questions you usually avoid.

This episode is about that feeling. The strange arithmetic of expat life, where you're close enough to visit family but far enough that the distance has quietly changed you. The nostalgia that hits harder than expected. The guilt of mobility — of having the choice to leave in the first place. And the question I keep circling back to: after ten years in Berlin, a chapter in Southeast Asia, and a life built between countries — where do I actually belong?

No clean answers. Just an honest walk through a town I grew up near, thinking out loud.

Contact me at cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Laid Off by AI: What Happens to Your Identity When the Algorithm Replaces You

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 16:30:00 +0200

Navigating the unpredictable waters of unemployment, I find myself in a unique position to reflect on my journey as a product designer and podcaster. After two weeks of radio silence, I finally sit down to share my thoughts, and boy, has it been a ride! I've recently been let go from my position at a podcast hosting company, a role that felt like a dream come true, blending my love for podcasting with my design skills. As I walk through the quiet streets, I can't help but dive into the emotional rollercoaster that comes with job loss. It’s not just about the loss of income; it’s about the identity crisis that follows. I talk about how AI is reshaping our industry, leading to layoffs and forcing many of us to rethink our professional identities. The world is evolving, and while technology can be a great assistant, it still lacks the human touch. As I explore my next steps, I share my vision of becoming a design consultant, leveraging my skills in a way that can provide a premium service that AI simply can't replicate. I invite listeners to join me on this journey and share their own experiences in this rapidly changing landscape. Together, we can navigate these challenges and find our place in the age of AI.

Takeaways:

It's totally okay to take breaks when life gets overwhelming, just like I did recently.
Working from home has its perks, especially when commuting is a nightmare, as I experienced.
The rise of AI in the work world is a real concern, impacting many jobs, including mine.
Creating content is more accessible than ever, and anyone can express themselves online now.
I believe AI isn't quite there yet and human creativity still holds the premium value.
Connecting with our audience is crucial, and I'm eager to hear your stories and thoughts.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

Meta
Facebook

When AI Takes Your Job: A Personal Story

Sun, 22 Feb 2026 17:00:00 +0200

Getting fired when you’re actually good at your job is a specific kind of insult. It’s the realization that you’ve been downgraded from "essential talent" to an "expendable luxury" on a spreadsheet.

We’re currently living through a weird contradiction: we use tools like ChatGPT and Claude to supercharge our output, effectively polishing the very tech that might eventually make us redundant. It feels less like a "technological revolution" and more like we’re being asked to build the gallows we’re standing on. This isn't just about job security; it's an identity crisis. If a prompt can do the heavy lifting in Figma, what exactly are we bringing to the table? I’m looking at this psychological trap—where we’ve become so dependent on our potential replacement that it’s starting to feel like a career-wide case of Stockholm Syndrome.

The Reality Check:

The "Luxury" Trap: Why being a high-performer doesn’t protect you when corporate restructuring decides automation is "good enough."
The Dependency Loop: The absurdity of using AI to stay competitive while knowing that same efficiency devalues your manual craft.
UX Design’s Mid-life Crisis: How the shift from "designing for humans" to "prompting for outputs" is gutting the traditional UX role.
Identity vs. Utility: Sorting out who you are professionally when your "unique" skills are now a feature in a $20/month subscription.

References:

Contact: cmonkxxx@gmail.com
Tech involved: ChatGPT, Figma, Claude

Espresso Yourself: The Art of Home Coffee Brewing.

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 08:00:00 +0200

Email your comments, suggestions, stories, questions, or just say hi! cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Today, we take you on a unique audio journey that combines the intimate experience of coffee culture with the spontaneity of a walk through cold Berlin. As I step outside with my microphones in tow, I aim to explore how coffee has become not just a beverage, but a crucial part of our identities. From the rituals of brewing to the ever-increasing prices at third-wave coffee shops, we dive into the intricacies of what makes coffee special—not just for its flavor, but for the community it fosters. We’ll chat about my own espresso machine journey and how it transformed my coffee experience from merely drinking to actively engaging in the brewing process. So, grab your favorite cup, and join me as we navigate the chilly streets while brewing up conversations that are as rich and nuanced as the coffee we cherish. We're taking a trip down the streets of Berlin, navigating the chilly air while chatting about something that brings a little warmth to our lives: coffee. As I step outside with my portable setup, I reflect on how this isn't just a drink for many of us; it's a ritual, a culture, a part of our identities. Sure, some folks might not get the coffee obsession, but for those of us who do, it’s like a religion. I’ve dedicated a part of my life to understanding coffee culture—not just the act of drinking it, but the entire experience from bean to brew. Today, I want to share my journey through the world of coffee, from the simple pleasure of a well-brewed cup to the complexities of sustainability in coffee production. As we stroll, I’ll also touch on the evolution of coffee shops—how they’ve transformed into spaces that reflect the hustle of modern life, often prioritizing speed over comfort. So, lace up your walking shoes and join me as we delve into the aromatic world of coffee, exploring the joy it brings and the challenges it faces in today’s climate.

Takeaways:

In this episode, we explore the personal connection many people have with coffee, viewing it as integral to their identity and daily rituals.
We discuss the evolution of coffee culture, highlighting how the rise of third wave coffee emphasizes sustainability and quality over mere consumption.
I share my experience with a semi-professional espresso machine, which has transformed my coffee ritual into a rewarding, hands-on experience.
The price of coffee has risen dramatically, and I express my frustration over the trend of smaller servings with the same price tag, feeling cheated by cafes.
We delve into the differences in coffee culture between cities like Berlin and Prague, noting the charm and comfort of cafes abroad.
By brewing coffee at home, I not only save money but also enjoy the satisfaction of mastering the brewing process, making it a rewarding ritual.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

Profitec

The Gadget Temptation of Content Creators: Do We Really Need the Latest Tech?

Sun, 08 Feb 2026 17:00:00 +0200

The chaos of our attempts to boost productivity and creativity, and let me tell you, it's a roller coaster! I recently rearranged my apartment, seeking a fresh perspective, but it turns out that even a new desk orientation can’t magically fix my productivity drops. I’ve been battling fatigue and the dreaded feeling of just not wanting to do anything, which many of us can relate to. So, I found myself tempted to buy the latest gadgets, thinking they would spark my creativity—only to realize that this shiny new gear often leads to a cycle of purchase and regret. Join me as I navigate through the ups and downs of podcast promotion, the lure of new tech, and the common pitfalls we face in our creative journeys. Excitement bubbles up as I share my recent weekend adventures and the thrill of rearranging my apartment. There’s something refreshing about a little chaos, isn’t there? I’ve been facing the wall at my new desk setup, and surprisingly, it feels great to have a fresh perspective. Honestly, I think it’s normal to feel the need for change; we all crave that fresh start sometimes. But let’s be real, with this new arrangement comes the inevitable dip in productivity. Between feeling under the weather and juggling responsibilities, it’s been tough to stay motivated. I often find myself stuck at my desk, yearning for that spark of creativity, but it eludes me. So, like many of us, I turn to shiny new gadgets to rekindle my inspiration. But I recently decided to curb my spending habits—though I did have a brief, impulsive fling with a new phone that I returned the next day. This leads me to a deeper conversation about podcast promotion and how, in today’s landscape, video content seems to be the golden ticket. I’m torn: as much as I want to embrace video, the self-consciousness creeps in. I reminisce about my vlogging days, but now it feels a bit insincere, and I wonder if my true passion lies in simply connecting with you through audio. I’m excited about the potential of live streams, but life’s commitments hold me back for now. Meanwhile, I find myself contemplating the latest tech, and the allure of the newest iPhone tugs at my creative aspirations. But I know all too well how easily we can slip into the trap of buying gear only to leave it untouched. It’s a common story; we invest in equipment, thinking it’ll spark our creativity, but often it just becomes an expensive paperweight. I’m determined to break that cycle and remind myself that creativity isn’t solely dependent on the latest tools. The real challenge lies in consistently creating, regardless of the gear we have. Let’s keep this conversation going as I navigate the highs and lows of tech temptation and creativity together with you, my fellow podcast enthusiasts! The air is thick with anticipation as I dive into my weekend reflections and the excitement of shaking things up in my apartment. It’s funny how rearranging furniture can feel like a mini-reset for the mind. I’ve turned my desk to face the wall—yes, the wall!—and for some reason, it feels liberating; maybe it’s a metaphor for facing my tasks head-on. Yet, with this newfound arrangement comes a struggle: a drop in productivity. It’s been a rough patch with illness and the weight of daily responsibilities, and I often find myself staring blankly at my screen, wishing for that burst of creative energy. We’ve all been there, right? The temptation to grab the latest gadget to reignite that spark is real. I confess, I recently bought a new phone on a whim, only to return it the next day after a night of contemplation. It’s a classic case of thinking that new gear equals new ideas. But as I transition to discussing podcast promotion, I realize that video content is becoming increasingly necessary in our current landscape. I’m itching to experiment with video, but my self-consciousness holds me back. I reminisce about the authenticity of my vlogging days, yet I can’t shake the feeling that it all seems a bit staged these days. What truly excites me is the idea of connecting with you through this audio format, where I can share unfiltered thoughts without the distractions of visual presentation. With that said, I’m eager to explore live streaming in the future, but life’s current demands mean I’ll have to wait. I find myself contemplating the latest iPhone and its capabilities, but I also reflect on the cycle of consumerism in our creative pursuits. It's too easy to think that a new piece of equipment will magically transform our creative output. I aim to remind myself that buying gear doesn’t equate to creativity. The real work lies in consistently producing, regardless of the tools at our disposal. Join me as I navigate this journey, sharing insights and experiences, and let’s challenge ourselves to create meaningfully without falling into the trap of consumerism.

Takeaways:

Rearranging my apartment has given me a fresh perspective, and I'm excited for the week ahead.
Feeling unproductive can hit hard, especially when responsibilities pile up and energy drops.
I realized that buying new gadgets often leads to excitement but rarely to true creativity.
The temptation to upgrade my phone was strong, but ultimately I decided to stick with my current one.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

Pixel 8 pro vs Pixel 10 Pro
iPhone 17 Pro Max - king of the smartphone video

Podcast Niche Anxiety: Why Generalist Shows Struggle to Grow

Sun, 25 Jan 2026 15:15:00 +0200

We're diving into a significant shift in our podcasting journey. After three months of exploring various topics in a freeform style, I’ve realized that the podcast landscape is a bit more structured than I initially thought. It turns out that categorization is essential for reaching the right audience, which has led me to the decision to transition toward a subject-specific format. I'm excited to focus on the intersection of technology and society, a theme that resonates deeply with me. We’ll still have room for those spontaneous monologues, but now they’ll be framed within a context that makes it easier for listeners to connect with what we’re discussing. So, join me as we explore the fascinating ways technology shapes our lives, even if it means confronting some uncomfortable truths along the way. I’ve been on quite the journey with this podcast over the past few months, and honestly, it’s been a rewarding experience. The freedom of an audio-only platform allows me to express myself without the constraints of algorithms dictating what gets heard. As my listener base grows, I am reminded of the power and importance of genuine connection in this medium. However, there’s also an unavoidable realization dawning on me — comparing my podcasts reveals a stark difference in engagement levels. It seems that a podcast that focuses on a specific theme garners more attention than one that meanders through various topics. This observation leads me to consider a shift towards more specific subject matter, which is a decision I approach with mixed feelings. Transitioning to a subject-focused podcast means narrowing down my content, which feels bittersweet. I’ve always relished the freeform style, giving me the flexibility to explore various thoughts and musings. Yet, I can’t ignore the reality that such a format makes it harder for potential listeners to discover me. The podcasting landscape is rife with categories and tags, and if I don’t fit neatly into one of those, I risk being lost in the shuffle. So, I’ve taken a step back to analyze what themes resonate with me: my personal life and technology. While I’m hesitant to delve too deeply into my personal experiences, I find the intersection of technology and society to be a rich ground for exploration. There’s something fascinating about how technology shapes our lives and influences our choices, and I want to dive into that. For instance, I often ponder why I feel compelled to buy a high-end camera when my life mostly revolves around family snapshots. It’s this disconnect — the marketing of lifestyle versus the reality of our lives — that I find intriguing. By framing my discussions around technology, I hope to share insights while still allowing for the spontaneous and freeform conversations I love. So, as I embark on this new direction, I invite you to join me on this exploration of technology and society, reflecting on how both shape our lives in unexpected ways. I’m looking forward to what’s ahead, and I appreciate you being here with me.

Takeaways:

I've been enjoying the experience of podcasting without the constraints of algorithms, which is refreshing.
Transitioning to a subject-specific podcast might break my heart, but I believe it's necessary.
It's hard to ignore that certain podcasts get more engagement than others, which is a reality check.
My personal life is interesting, but it's also something I prefer to keep private and separate from this podcast.
I want to explore the philosophical aspects of technology and its impact on society in future episodes.
I aim to create content that invites listeners in by framing it around technology while allowing for freeform discussions.

Links referenced in this episode:

email me at cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Coffee, Solitude and the Creative Morning: A Berlin Routine

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +0200

Intricacies of maintaining creativity during challenging times, tackling the emotional rollercoaster that can hinder our artistic flow. I share my recent struggle with motivation and how, despite having the time, I found myself unable to engage in creative activities. We explore the tension between the expectation to perform, even when feeling less than inspired, and the reality of our human experiences. It's a candid conversation about the unfiltered truth of life, the importance of connecting through shared struggles, and even a breakthrough that came in the form of a listener email that reignited my passion. Together, we reflect on the value of authenticity in our creative pursuits and the surprising joys found in the mundane, like my new coffee machine that signifies more than just a caffeine fix—it's a ritual that grounds me. This week, we jumped into the heart of the podcasting experience, reflecting on both the creative hurdles and the emotional struggles that come with creating content. I shared my personal battles with maintaining a backlog of episodes, especially during a recent emotional rough patch where motivation seemed to vanish. I found myself with a weekend free of obligations but still couldn't muster the energy to dive into my projects, leading to a kind of self-imposed creative pause. But rather than chastising myself, I embraced the downtime as a vital part of the creative process. It was during this quiet period that I received my first listener email, a moment that lit up my week and reminded me of the connections we forge through this medium, even when the creative fire feels dim. We also tackled the subject of authenticity in show business, discussing the expectations to maintain a polished persona while dealing with personal struggles. I opened up about my difficulty in pretending everything is fine when I'm feeling emotionally drained. This led to a rich conversation about the value of vulnerability and how sharing our real, messy selves can deepen our relationship with our audience. I argued that while the industry often pressures creators to project positivity, there’s a unique strength in showing our authentic selves. We ultimately explored the idea that connections based on shared values can be far more impactful than those based solely on fleeting interests. In a lighter turn, I shared my latest passion—a new coffee machine that has become a cherished part of my daily routine. It's more than just a brewing device; it's a ritual that provides comfort and structure amidst life’s unpredictability. I reflected on how these small daily rituals not only ground us but also bring joy and satisfaction, especially during tumultuous times. By the end, I encouraged listeners to reach out, inviting them to share their own stories and experiences, reinforcing that this podcast journey is about building a community where we can all feel seen and heard.

Takeaways:

This episode dives deep into the emotional struggles that can hinder creativity, reminding us that it's okay to take breaks and not force ourselves to be productive all the time.
We explore the idea that even though the new year is often seen as a fresh start, real change can happen at any time, and we shouldn't restrict ourselves to yearly resolutions.
The speakers discuss the importance of maintaining authenticity in podcasting, emphasizing that it's okay to share personal struggles without turning the podcast into a diary.
Our conversation touches on how technology, like AI, is evolving to make creative processes easier, allowing us to focus on the essence of what we do rather than the mundane tasks.
There's a humorous look at the balance between being genuine and maintaining a persona in the entertainment industry, highlighting the pressure to always appear polished and composed.
We reflect on the connections formed through shared experiences and values, rather than just common interests, which can often lead to more meaningful relationships.

Email me at: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Companies mentioned in this episode:

Unreal Engine
Captivate

Dark Humor and Coping: Why We Laugh at the Wrong Things

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +0200

Time seems to drag when we’re stuck in a loop of mindless scrolling, but what if I told you that embracing a structured routine could change that? This episode unpacks the experience of navigating friendships with people who embody the traits of a jester—those who use humor as a shield but may leave us feeling emotionally drained. I share my personal journey with these relationships, exploring how the need for constant laughter can overshadow deeper connections. We reflect on the balance between humor and authenticity, questioning whether jesters truly understand the impact of their words. Join me as I sift through the complexities of these dynamics and contemplate the importance of meaningful friendships in our lives.

Takeaways:

Time might feel like it drags when we have nothing to do, yet a packed schedule can make it fly by.
Setting up a podcast can create a structure that pushes us to produce more regularly and feel accountable.
Interactions with jesters can be tricky; their humor often masks deeper insecurities and emotional immaturity.
Jesters can dominate social situations, making jokes that silence others and create an uncomfortable atmosphere.
The balance between humor and authenticity is vital in relationships; we need depth beyond laughter.
Reflecting on past friendships with jesters reveals the importance of genuine connection over superficial humor.

email me at cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Digital News Fatigue: When Disaster Scrolling Stops Meaning Anything

Sat, 03 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +0200

Waking up to a rare snowfall at 6:00 AM, this installment serves as a "New Year’s audit" of attention. It moves from a personal commitment to keep the "screens from winning" at home to a broader critique of how social media has distorted our survival instincts.

Key Discussion Points

The Bourdain Experiment: A spontaneous Reddit post about Anthony Bourdain’s values led to the creation of a Berlin-based meetup group focused on real-life interaction rather than digital exchange.
Content vs. Survival: A chilling analysis of the recent Swiss nightclub fire, where victims reportedly prioritized filming and uploading content as the tragedy unfolded.
The "Little Black Rectangle": An observation of the "eerie" and "sick" physical alignment of people in public spaces, completely consumed by their smartphones.
Spatial Awareness Exercise: A personal practice started in December to reclaim attention by consciously observing smells, sounds, and the needs of others on public transport.

The "Spatial Awareness" Challenge

To combat the "digital feed," the host proposes a deliberate exercise in being present:

Observe the Environment: Note the lighting, the smells, and the noise levels on your commute.
Identify the Needs of Others: Look for people requiring assistance (the elderly, those with heavy luggage) who are often ignored by a phone-distracted crowd.
Detect Opportunities: Move beyond the "screen leash" to find inspiration or connection in the physical world.

Links & Community

Meetup: Berlin Social/Bourdain WhatsApp Group (see Reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/berlinsocialclub/comments/1q1xi6d/anthony_bourdain_fans_in_berlin/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button).
Reference: The Swiss NYE fire investigation and the shift toward digital "isolation" over integration.
Connect: Reach out via email at cmonkxxx@gmail.com to share your own stories of reclaiming your attention.

Expat Life: The Strange Geometry of Living Between Two Places

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 17:00:00 +0200

A breakdown of a 24-hour transit through the "liminal spaces" of Agen and Paris to Berlin. I examine the textures of 13th-century furniture, the "naive" honesty found in 12-year-old video archives, and the ergonomics of a 30,000-step day. This is an audit of the "scars of progress" visible in our modern landscape.

Recording from the transition between two worlds.

I’ve just completed a 12-hour journey from the quiet, 13th-century streets of Southern France back to the foggy "concrete jungle" of Berlin. This episode is a raw audit of that transit—a 30,000-step trek through Paris that became a meditation on what we’ve lost to progress.

In this installment:

The 12-Year Time Capsule: While editing footage from a decade ago, I discovered a "pure authenticity" in people who weren't yet tethered to smartphones.
The Digital Fidget: Observations from a turbulent flight where passengers, gripped by anxiety, mindlessly scrolled through dead apps like a digital rosary.
The Food Divide: Why the culinary landscape of Paris makes Berlin feel like "feed for animals."
The Leash: A sobering look at how our devices have transitioned from tools to tethers.

I also share a candid update on why I’m moving toward a curated paywall to protect the privacy of this journal while continuing to connect with a "tight" audience.

Show Notes & Links

The Destination: The town of Agen, France.
The Meal: Kodawari Ramen (Tsukiji) — The restaurant in Paris mentioned by YouTuber Alex (French Guy Cooking), featuring an interior imported from a Tokyo fish market.
The Stat: 30,000 steps (22km) through Paris.
Contact: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Meaning vs Happiness: Thoughts from a Walk in Southern France

Sat, 20 Dec 2025 22:15:00 +0200

I’m currently walking through the narrow, 13th-century streets of Condom, France, trying to move slowly enough to keep my brain out of "hyper-mode". There is a certain peace here, but it’s a peace complicated by a very modern dilemma: the intersection of personal happiness and responsibility.

Learning from the Past

I’ve done the "big move" before. A few years ago, I went to Majorca with the intent to stay forever, but I learned that island life brings a sense of alienation and separation that I wasn't prepared for. Being on the continent feels different—more connected, less reliant on ferries and planes to feel part of the world.

The Weight of Choice

The hardest part of this contemplation isn't the logistics; it’s my seven-year-old daughter in Berlin. We are close, and any move here would require frequent travel back to nurture that bond. It’s a trial of the heart. I’ve realized that a frustrated father is of no use to a child, so finding my own happiness in a place like Southern France is, in a way, an investment in her well-being, too.

Choosing Meaning Over Joy

Lately, I’ve been questioning the very meaning of life. I’ve come to feel that it isn’t a pursuit of "joy" or "fun" that matters most—it’s the pursuit of meaning. Berlin has felt like a chapter that is closing, and while I feel like an outsider there even after ten years, I’m learning to view my nomadic nature not as a lack of roots, but as a way of opening my mind.

A New Perspective on "Home"

A friend recently helped me break out of a "scarcity mindset" regarding where we live. Why must we only have one home? I’m starting to think about a future where "migration" isn't a permanent exit, but a fluid existence between the places that nourish us—whether that’s France, Germany, or even returning to my roots in Poland.

I'm not on social media, but I am looking for a "tight, communicative audience". If this resonates with your own story of relocation or searching for meaning, please reach out. Let's skip the algorithms and just be human.

Get in touch with me, by emailing: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Work Friends, Lack of a personal online presence, and The Need for Sleep as you get older

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 17:00:00 +0200

In this free-form episode recorded while walking through the streets of Berlin, I strip away the need to educate and focus on honest connection. I discuss why I skipped the company Christmas boat party and reflect on the confusing, often blurry lines between being a colleague and being a friend.

As I make my way to my daughter’s school, I also dig into my current creative struggles. Despite having skills in 3D design and Unreal Engine, I feel "invisible" online. I share my plans to finally launch a portfolio website to validate my work, the experience of walking past a VR studio I was too shy to enter, and the hard reality of aging—where protecting my energy and getting enough sleep has become more important than pulling creative all-nighters.

Creative Block: How I Overcame My Podcasting Doubts

Sun, 30 Nov 2025 11:00:00 +0200

Today I talk about challenges of creative blocks and the journey to rediscovering our voices. I share my recent struggles with overthinking and self-doubt, questioning the purpose of this podcast and what direction it should take. But through this reflection, I've come to embrace the idea that this show is essentially my personal journal, capturing my day-to-day life and thoughts. Alongside these introspections, I also chat about my recent Black Friday splurges, including some irresistible deals that I couldn't pass up, highlighting the joys and quirks of consumerism. So, let's explore how we can navigate these creative hurdles while finding joy in the little things, all while keeping it light and fun.

The latest podcast episode dives into the chaotic yet creatively fulfilling journey of the host, who recently faced a creative block that left him questioning the purpose of his show. We explore the highs and lows of his creative process as he reflects on the expectations of modern podcasting versus the authenticity of personal storytelling. The host opens up about his struggles to produce content that feels genuine rather than falling into the trap of algorithm-driven mainstream media. He shares his thoughts on how this pressure can stifle creativity, leading to overthinking and self-doubt. Yet, through candid anecdotes and a light-hearted tone, he reveals how he navigates these challenges, ultimately embracing the essence of his podcast as a personal journal.

As we delve deeper into the episode, we also discuss the festive chaos of Black Friday shopping, which serves as both a metaphor for excess and a moment of clarity for the host. He humorously recounts his impulsive purchases, including a robot vacuum that brings unexpected joy to his daily routine. This light-hearted segment contrasts with his earlier reflections on creativity, showcasing how everyday life can inspire and distract in equal measure. By the end of the episode, listeners are left with a sense of camaraderie, as the host acknowledges the universal struggles of balancing personal expression with societal expectations, all while maintaining a sprinkle of humor and relatability throughout.

Takeaways:

In this episode, we dive deep into the challenge of creative blocks and how to overcome them while podcasting.
I candidly share my experiences with self-doubt regarding the content I create for this podcast and its purpose.
We discuss the impact of mainstream content consumption on our creativity and how it shapes our podcasting journey.
I reflect on the importance of acknowledging seasonal changes in our lives and how they influence our mood and productivity.
This episode also touches on my recent Black Friday purchases and the joy they brought, despite overspending.
Finally, we explore the idea of podcasting as a personal journal and the value of uncurated content in today's media landscape.

Links referenced in this episode:

archive.org
hostinger.com
Unreal Engine Diaries (my other podcast)

Contact me at

podcasting tips, overcoming creative block, personal journal podcast, Black Friday deals, parenting podcast, audio journaling, podcasting journey, Berlin podcasting, digital content creation, single dad experiences, Unreal Engine projects, podcast website setup, maintaining podcast quality, mindfulness in podcasting, podcasting without monetization, DIY podcasting, creative challenges, seasonal reflections, family activities, self-expression through podcasting

Seasonal Creativity: Making Things When Motivation Disappears

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 22:45:00 +0200

Let’s dive right into it! This episode is all about the overwhelming presence of AI in our lives and how it's leaving us feeling a bit exhausted. I've been navigating the parenting trenches solo for a couple of weeks now, and let me tell you, finding the energy to chat about tech feels like climbing Everest with a toddler on my back. You know how it is—AI's everywhere, throwing new tools and updates at us like confetti, but do they really change our lives? Spoiler alert: not really. We also get cozy with the winter vibes, where the lack of sunshine has me reminiscing about summer days and sipping on sage tea like it’s the elixir of life. So grab your comfiest blanket, kick back, and let’s explore this whirlwind of parenting, AI fatigue, and the cozy charm of winter together!

Finally, I get to sit here and record in my cozy little home studio—what a treat! This past week has been a whirlwind, let me tell you. I’ve been juggling parenting duties solo, and boy, has it left me drained. It’s like I was running on fumes, trying to squeeze in some personal time to create, but every time I hit record, it was just a chaotic mess. I was stuck in this loop of exhaustion, and my thoughts felt all jumbled. But tonight? Oh, tonight I’m feeling a bit more alive, and I want to dive into a couple of topics that have been swirling around in my mind. Sure, I can’t help but feel a bit silly talking about podcasting itself—because, let’s face it, podcasting about podcasting is a little on the nose, right? But let’s talk about AI instead. I mean, we’re bombarded with AI news left and right, and honestly? It’s wearing me thin. I’m exhausted just keeping up with all these updates and new tools that promise to change the world but kind of just… don’t. It’s a bizarre dance, really. We’re expected to be thrilled about every new gadget, but when you dive deep, it feels like we’re just skimming the surface of something that should be way more meaningful. I often find myself wanting to tune it all out, even as I rely on AI more and more in my daily life. But maybe there’s a silver lining? I’ve found some comfort in the winter season lately. There’s something about the coziness of the dark evenings and warm spaces that makes me feel at home. I've been going a bit sage-crazy, too! Burning it, brewing it, you name it. I think it’s my little way of battling the winter blues and keeping those pesky colds at bay. But I’ve got to admit, the lack of sunlight does take a toll on my energy. It feels like I’m perpetually tired. Anyway, I’ll share more on my thoughts about parenting, winter, and maybe a sprinkle of Black Friday chaos in the coming chats. Let’s keep it real and relatable, yeah?

Recording in front of my mic tonight feels like a small victory after the exhausting week I’ve had. I’ve been in full-on parenting mode for what feels like ages, and let me tell you, it’s been a wild ride. The energy levels? Let’s just say they’ve been at an all-time low. 9 PM was my only window for ‘me time’, but by then, I was too beat to even think straight, let alone talk coherently into a mic. But tonight, I’ve got some energy back, and I’m ready to spill a few thoughts. First off, can we talk about podcasting about podcasting? It feels a tad cliché, but there’s something about the creative process that’s worth exploring. Then there’s the AI chatter that’s been nonstop. I swear, every time I check my news feed, there’s another AI tool or update that’s supposed to be revolutionary. But honestly? It’s exhausting. It’s like we’re all expected to keep up with the latest and greatest, yet most of it feels like a whole lot of hype for not much payoff. I find myself using AI for daily tasks, but I’ve become increasingly skeptical about its efficacy. It’s a strange relationship, really. On the flip side, I’m embracing the winter season, which has surprisingly brought some comfort. There’s a unique coziness about dark evenings, and I’ve found solace in the warmth of my home—plus, I’ve been going a little wild with sage! Burning it, cooking with it, you name it. It’s like my winter survival kit. But let’s be real, the lack of sunlight can be a downer, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one feeling it. I’ll wrap up for now, but let’s keep this conversation going about the ups and downs of winter, parenting, and maybe even some reflections on consumer culture this Black Friday. Buckle up, folks!

Finally getting to record again feels like a breath of fresh air after a week that felt like I was in a blender. I’ve been on full-time dad duty, and let’s just say it’s been a rollercoaster. There were days when I thought I might just fade away into the background noise of parenting chaos. Every time I thought about hitting record, it was like my brain just went blank, or worse, all I could produce was a ramble of nonsense. But tonight, I feel a spark of energy! I’ve got a couple of things on my mind that I want to share. First up: podcasting itself. I know, I know—it’s a bit of a meta topic, but hey, it’s part of my journey. Then there’s the whole AI phenomenon that’s just exploded everywhere. I mean, we’re inundated with AI updates, and honestly? It’s overwhelming. I get that tech is supposed to make our lives easier, but it feels like we’re on this hamster wheel of constant updates that rarely deliver on their promises. I often find myself wanting to tune out all the AI noise, even while I use it daily. Then we shift gears to winter—ah, the season of cozy vibes! I’ve been enjoying the darker evenings, wrapping up in warmth, and yes, I’ve become a bit of a sage enthusiast. I’m using it in every way you can think of—cooking, burning, you name it. It’s like my little antidote to the winter chill! But let’s be real, the lack of sunshine? It’s draining. I miss those long, sunlit days where you feel alive. Anyway, I’m excited to keep exploring these themes in our chats. Let’s dive into the madness of parenting, the quirks of winter, and maybe a little retail therapy during Black Friday. Here’s to keeping it real and relatable!

Takeaways:

Podcasting can be a rollercoaster of joy and exhaustion, especially when juggling parenting duties.
AI tools are popping up like weeds, and honestly, they're not always helpful, right?
Winter brings cozy vibes but also a serious energy drain, making us crave sunshine like it's our job.
Finding meaningful topics to discuss can feel forced; sometimes, capturing spontaneous thoughts works better.
The struggle of resisting those tempting Black Friday deals is real; just because it's cheaper doesn't mean we need it.
Creating engaging content is more about connection than numbers; I crave a close-knit audience over a massive following.

Links referenced in this episode:

Contact me at cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Midnight Musings: Reflections on Time and Tech

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 00:15:00 +0200

We’re diving deep into the wild and wacky world of time and technology in this episode. As we wrap up 2025, we ponder the mysteries of how swiftly time seems to fly by, especially when you’re juggling parenthood and a busy life. I've been mulling over the chaotic nature of our reality, particularly with all the buzz around AI and its potential to disrupt everything we know. Spoiler alert: I’m not convinced it’s the all-powerful overlord some make it out to be—maybe it’s just a shiny toy that we’re all getting a bit too giddy about. Plus, I share my personal journey with my new glasses—yes, the life-changing kind that actually help you see the world more clearly, both literally and metaphorically. So, grab a comfy seat, maybe a snack, and let’s unpack this curious blend of tech musings and life reflections together.

As we stand on the cusp of 2026, the air is thick with anticipation and a touch of uncertainty. Speaker A kicks off this episode with musings about the rapid changes ushered in by technology, particularly AI. It’s a wild ride, folks! From playful experiments with coding personal applications to the nagging question of whether we’re ready to let AI steer the ship of our lives, there’s a lot to unpack here. Speaker A navigates these thoughts with a relaxed vibe, blending humor and insight. It’s like having a chat over coffee with a friend who’s deep in thought about the future, and trust me, you’re going to want to hear what they have to say.

But it’s not all tech talk; our speaker takes a detour into the personal realm, reflecting on the nature of time and how it feels like it’s slipping away. Between work, parenting, and life’s endless to-do lists, time can seem like a mischievous trickster. Speaker A shares their experiences with co-parenting and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it, revealing a relatable struggle that many of us can identify with. We’ve all had weeks that zoom by and others that drag on, and our speaker’s reflections offer a comforting reminder that we’re not alone in feeling this way.

As we round out the episode, the conversation shifts to the simple yet profound act of getting new glasses. It’s not just about seeing better; it’s about how that choice can reflect deeper aspects of our identity. Speaker A discusses the quirky experience of selecting frames and how they resonate with our sense of self. It’s a humorous yet thoughtful exploration of how our choices shape us, paired with the acknowledgement that life’s little decisions can have a big impact on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. So grab a comfy chair, kick back, and let’s dive into this reflection on technology, time, and the choices that define us. You won’t want to miss it!

Takeaways:

As we approach the end of 2025, it's wild to think about how quickly time flies and what surprises may await us in 2026.
AI is definitely a hot topic, but the real question is whether we can trust it enough to let it steer our lives.
Getting new glasses can be a game changer, not just for visibility but also for how we perceive our identity and connection with others.
It's easy to lose track of time when life gets busy, but reflecting on our experiences can help ground us in the present moment.
The passage of time feels oddly accelerated these days, making me wonder if the key to slowing it down lies in our engagement with the present.
A good reminder: sometimes the weight of responsibility can blur our perception of time, but it's all part of the journey we share together.

contact me at: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Starting Over: How I Came Back to Podcasting After Burning Out

Wed, 05 Nov 2025 11:30:00 +0200

So, let's dive into the nitty-gritty of this episode where I’m just trying to get back into the groove of podcasting after a little break. You know how life can throw some curveballs at you? Well, I hit a bit of a snag with my mental energy, which had me feeling more like a sloth than a podcasting pro. I really didn’t want to drag everyone into my personal stuff, because, honestly, oversharing can feel like a slippery slope, right? I mean, we’re all about keeping it real, but there are boundaries, folks! Anyway, I’m here now, hoping to shake off those zombie podcast vibes and keep the momentum going. So stick around as we chat about tech, materialism, and maybe dive into this whole technology detox thing—because who doesn’t feel a little overwhelmed by their devices sometimes? Let’s roll!

The podcast dives into the struggles of getting back into a podcasting groove after a long hiatus. Our host opens up about the unexpected break that started in May, which was initially just a pause but turned into a deeper reflection on mental health and the challenges of sharing personal experiences in a public forum. They discuss the fine line between being authentic and oversharing, revealing how the pressures of a personal podcast can sometimes feel overwhelming. It’s like walking a tightrope where one misstep could lead to a tumble into the abyss of too much information. The host shares their journey of trying to strike a balance between vulnerability and maintaining boundaries, emphasizing that while it’s great to connect, there are limits to how much personal detail should be shared with an audience that feels like a friend but is, in reality, a crowd of listeners.

As the conversation unfolds, we get a glimpse into the technical woes of podcasting—switching hosting platforms and dealing with the mess of 'zombie' episodes that pop up when you least expect them. It’s a relatable struggle for anyone who’s ever tried to navigate the digital landscape, especially when you’re not exactly a tech guru. The host reflects on their decision to upgrade their hosting service, opting for a more professional platform, and mentions the various social media platforms they’ve chosen to avoid. It’s a candid look at both the excitement and the frustrations of maintaining a podcast, reminding listeners that behind every episode is a person juggling the chaos of technology and creativity.

The episode wraps up with a hopeful tone as the host expresses their desire to return to regular podcasting, hinting at future topics like technology detox and reflections on AI. There’s a sense of renewal and eagerness to engage with the audience again. They invite listeners to join them on this journey, promising to keep it real and relatable—just like a good chat with an old friend on a crisp autumn day.

Takeaways:

Podcasting is a balancing act between sharing personal experiences and maintaining boundaries, and that's a tricky dance.
Taking breaks from podcasting can sometimes lead to rediscovering your voice and re-evaluating your content.
It’s vital to keep the momentum going in podcasting, even when the tech gets messy.
Switching podcast platforms can create a bit of chaos, but finding the right fit is worth it.
Using a podcast to vent can feel like therapy, but it’s important to keep it light and not overshare.
The journey of podcasting includes ups and downs, but it’s all part of the creative process.

Links referenced in this episode:

Companies mentioned in this episode:

Spotify
Substack
Captivate
Reddit
Digg

contact me at: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Career Pivot, Design Legacy & Finding Meaning Through Podcasting | Personal Journal

Sat, 05 Apr 2025 17:58:00 +0200

Kind of processing things out loud today... thinking about this design career, what actually leaves a mark, and feeling this pull towards making podcasts more seriously. It's a bit of a ramble, includes a walk outside (mic and all), and ends with a hint about a really personal new project I'm starting.

Show Notes:

* Just me thinking out loud from home today, feeling a bit adventurous.

* Talking about why I like podcasts that feel like a raw audio message, not too polished. Trying to capture that here.

* Reflecting on the long winter and how this sunny day feels different.

* Getting into my career as a designer and this nagging feeling about legacy – what actually lasts when projects disappear or companies fold?

* Had a realization that maybe the work I thought I was made for isn't quite it.

* Why podcasting? It's always been there, even the messy attempts. Feeling more ready now, less hung up on having the perfect "radio voice."

* Thinking about how standards have changed in content creation.

* Critiquing platforms like Substack – they kinda suck, right? But you still need them.

* Decided to take the mic outside for a walk – apologies if the audio gets a bit rough, but it felt right to move. (Around 20:07)

* Talking about a really personal new podcast project I'm starting called "You Gonna Be Okay," stemming from my journey into single fatherhood after separation.

* Why now feels like the right time to share that story.

* This whole episode is kind of a marker for me – acknowledging a shift.

* More on the new project coming soon.

* Chapter Marks (Timestamps approximate based on original recording structure):

* 00:00 - Feeling Adventurous at Home

* 02:02 - Why Raw Style, Free-Form Podcasting Feels Right

* 03:33 - Clear Skies, Clear Thoughts?

* 05:50 - The Realization About Design & Legacy

* 08:15 - Overcoming the "Radio Voice" Doubt

* 09:55 - Committing to This Podcasting Thing

* 11:15 - Platform Problems (Substack etc.)

* 20:07 - Stepping Outside (Audio Shift)

* 21:03 - A New, Personal Project: Single Fatherhood

* 23:55 - Why Share This Now? / Final Thoughts

contact me at: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

The Future of Coding vs. Organic Creativity: From Unreal Engine to Vibe Coding and a Pivot to Video

Wed, 26 Mar 2025 11:23:00 +0200

In this episode, I share my thoughts on the frustrating state of Berlin's public transport and how it initially fueled my virtual city project, Lelit District, built with Unreal Engine. I delve into the intriguing concept of vibe coding, where AI assists in code creation, hinting at the future of coding. However, the current limitations of vibe coding and the rapid advancements in AI are leading me to question the long-term relevance of traditional coding and even the direction of Lelit District.

I discuss the possibility of a future where AI handles the complexities of code, allowing creators to focus on higher-level concepts. This realization prompts a personal reflection on my creative journey and a consideration of shifting my primary focus to video. I revisit old travel footage, recognizing video as a more organic and direct form of expression and communication.

Join me as I explore:

* The challenges of coding Lelit District in Unreal Engine and the allure of AI-assisted vibe coding.

* My evolving perspective on the future of coding and the potential displacement of traditional software development.

* The rapid progress of AI in various creative fields, including code generation.

* My growing appreciation for video as a more natural and rewarding medium for storytelling and communication.

* The decision to potentially step back from intensive software development to embrace the authenticity of video creation.

* The idea that in the future, genuine experiences and the ability to share them organically will hold significant value.

This episode examines the tension between the evolving landscape of AI in coding and the enduring power of human-driven, organic forms of creativity, ultimately leading to a decision to prioritize video as a primary means of expression.

contact me at: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

My Podcast Addiction Confession

Sun, 23 Mar 2025 11:04:00 +0200

This episode kicks off with a morning walk surprise – a usually quiet street packed with cars! The reason? A public transport strike. This leads to thoughts on people's reactions (or lack thereof) to such disruptions and a little detour into the ongoing debate about remote work.

But the main thread of this episode is a personal reflection on podcast consumption. Inspired by a video from Van Neistat (yes, Casey's brother!), I delve into my own potential "addiction" to podcasts and why I'm starting to believe that less might actually be more. I explore the feeling of being constantly bombarded with information and the importance of creating space for your own thoughts and the present moment.

Tune in to hear my slightly rambling thoughts on all this and maybe even share your own perspective!

Chapter Marks:

* 00:00:00 - The Chaotic Quiet: Initial thoughts on the microphone and the unexpected traffic due to the public transport strike.

* 00:00:45 - Strike Surprises: Observing the unusually busy streets and the reason behind it.

* 00:01:11 - The Lack of Reaction: Pondering the general public's response to frequent strikes.

* 00:02:10 - A Longer Walk and Recording: The motivation behind this morning's recording session.

* 00:03:10 - More Packed Streets: Further observations on the traffic situation and initial thoughts on remote work.

* 00:03:57 - Remote Work Reflections: Delving deeper into the ongoing discussion about working from home vs. the office.

* 00:04:58 - My Own Office Dilemma: Personal feelings about the pros and cons of office work.

* 00:05:56 - The Podcast Addiction Question: Transitioning to the main topic inspired by Van Neistat.

* 00:06:35 - Van Neistat's Podcast Praise: Mentioning the video that sparked this reflection.

* 00:07:19 - Lunchtime Reflection (Delayed): Setting the intention to reflect later in the day.

* 00:07:36 - Eight Hours Later: Catching up after a busy day to share the thoughts.

* 00:08:08 - Respect for Van Neistat: Clarifying the initial casual reference and acknowledging his work.

* 00:09:00 - The Podcast Addiction Disagreement: Expressing the core disagreement with Van Neistat's "positive addiction" stance.

* 00:09:41 - My Own Podcast Overload: Sharing personal experience with listening to too many podcasts.

* 00:10:14 - The Programming Effect: Thoughts on how constant listening can influence one's own thinking.

* 00:10:46 - The Illusion of Inspiration: Questioning the endless stream of podcast content.

* 00:11:11 - Podcast Guest Suspicions: A slightly cynical view on the motivations of some podcast guests.

* 00:12:17 - Cutting Back on Podcasts: Sharing the positive effects of reducing podcast consumption.

* 00:12:59 - The Beauty of Boredom and Presence: Emphasizing the value of being present in everyday activities.

* 00:13:31 - The Flow State: Reflecting on the rewarding feeling of focused activity.

* 00:14:01 - Half Here, Half There: Contrasting focused activity with multitasking and podcast listening.

* 00:14:21 - Your Thoughts Welcome: Encouraging listeners to share their opinions.

contact me at: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

My Brain's on High Heat

Sat, 15 Mar 2025 17:38:00 +0200

Grabbed my old Zoom H1 recorder (the one that lets me hear myself talk – crucial!) and went for a walk to escape the apartment and the endless to-do list. Turns out, I had a lot on my mind. This is a pretty unfiltered ramble about feeling overwhelmed by choices, the good and bad of the internet (especially the news… ugh), the weirdness of modern parenting, and why I’m nostalgic for the early days of online life. Also, a brief rant about gimbals I haven't used and why I keep listening to old podcasts. It's chaotic, but it's real.

Okay, here are timestamps for key topics and transitions in the transcript, along with a list of references (both explicit and implicit).

Timestamps:

* 0:00:00 - 0:00:28: Introduction and explanation of using the Zoom H1 recorder.

* 0:00:28 - 0:00:55: Reason for the walk: escaping the overwhelming feeling of unfinished tasks and distractions at home.

* 0:00:55 - 0:01:17: Description about new recording approach.

* 0:01:17 - 0:01:50: Benefits of recording while listetning.

* 0:01:50 - 0:02:28: Description of a walk.

* 0:02:28 - 0:03:55: Feeling overwhelmed by choices and the "temptations" of home.

* 0:03:55 - 0:04:55: Mentioning the podcast and its new location (sapsdag.com).

* 0:04:55 - 0:05:13: Overthinking the podcast name.

* 0:05:13 - 0:06:07: The comfort of having a creative outlet, questioning the purpose of his other projects.

* 0:06:07 - 0:07:07: The Unreal Engine project dilemma (game or productivity software?).

* 0:07:07 - 0:07:52: The satisfaction of publishing vs. the feeling of "semi-productivity tasks."

* 0:07:52 - 0:08:53: Talking about "doing" versus talking about "doing" (referencing the prevalence of online tutorials and courses).

* 0:08:53 - 0:09:09: The overwhelming nature of tools, options.

* 0:09:09 - 0:10:19: The unused gimbal and the feeling of guilt.

* 0:10:19 - 0:12:45: Explaining the recent absence due to co-parenting and his daughter's illness.

* 0:12:45 - 0:13:52: Thoughts on parents sharing children's lives online (strong disapproval).

* 0:13:52 - 0:14:17: Tangent about a vandalized Tesla and Elon Musk.

* 0:14:17 - 0:14:50: The polarizing nature of news around the Tesla.

* 0:14:50 - 0:17:55: The addictive and negative nature of online news (Elon Musk, Donald Trump, Ukraine conflict).

* 0:17:55 - 0:18:40: The desire to disconnect from the news and toxicity.

* 0:18:40 - 0:19:29: Questioning how to disconnect while using the internet and smartphones.

* 0:19:29 - 0:19:58: Youtube example.

* 0:19:58 - 0:20:40: Experimenting with a "dumb phone" (unsuccessful).

* 0:20:40 - 0:21:46: The story about the girl on the train sketching in a notebook (analog vs. digital).

* 0:21:46 - 0:23:43: Discussion of "artisanal" activities, making yourself purposely bored, being a content creator.

* 0:23:43 - 0:24:24: Returning to the issue of consuming vs. creating, constant podcast listening.

* 0:24:24 - 0:25:37: Describing his podcast listening habits (multiple headphones, listening while falling asleep).

* 0:25:37 - 0:26:23: Recognizing the negative impact of constant listening (anxiety, suppressing own thoughts).

* 0:26:23 - 0:27:34: Recording as antidote.

* 0:27:34 - 0:28:40: Critiquing the formulaic nature of modern podcasts and the search for "honest media."

* 0:28:40 - 0:29:36: Reflection on the change of the podcasting.

* 0:29:36 - 0:30:25: Listening to old podcasts and the appeal of the "old internet."

* 0:30:25 - 0:30:55: Longing for sharing without commercial interest.

* 0:30:55 - 0:32:48: Mentioning Emma Chamberlain's podcast ("Anything Goes") as an example of introspective content, but not fully resonating.

* 0:32:48 - 0:34:40: Reflecting on the shift in online purchasing from the early days to now.

* 0:34:40 - 0:36:23: Discussion of the decline of physical stores and the dominance of online shopping.

* 0:36:23 - 0:38:32: Reflecting on the changing nature of "side hustles" and online income.

* 0:38:32 - 0:39:17: Deciding to cut the walk short and take a tram home (due to being overdressed and the weather).

References (Explicit and Implicit):

* Zoom H1 Recorder: (Explicit) A specific model of portable audio recorder.

* sapsdag.com (C-Monk X): (Explicit) The speaker's website/podcast platform.

* Unreal Engine: (Explicit) A game development engine, implying the speaker's interest in game development or 3D graphics.

* "Semi-productivity tasks": (Implicit) A term used in productivity circles to describe activities that feel productive but don't contribute to meaningful goals.

* Elon Musk, Donald Trump, Ukraine conflict, Russian invasion: (Explicit) Current events and figures that represent the speaker's anxiety about the news and the state of the world.

* "Big Brother": (Explicit) A reality TV show, used as a comparison to the "reality fictional show" of current events.

* US Tarrifs: (Explicit) A reference to trade policies, shows attention to current events.

* Pixel 8 Pro: (Explicit) A specific model of Google smartphone.

* YouTube: (Explicit) The video-sharing platform, used as an example of a source of distraction and algorithm-driven content.

* "Dumb phone": (Implicit) A basic phone with limited features, contrasted with a smartphone.

* "Girl on the train" sketching: (Implicit) Refers to a previous blog post by the speaker, creating a connection between his written and spoken content.

* "Artisanal" things: (Implicit) A reference to a trend of valuing handcrafted, traditional, or non-digital activities.

* Podcasts (in general): (Explicit & Implicit) A major theme, with the speaker discussing his listening habits, the evolution of podcasting, and his search for authentic content.

* Apple AirPods: (Explicit) Mentioned as a type of headphones used.

* Emma Chamberlain's "Anything Goes" podcast: (Explicit) A specific podcast mentioned as an example of introspective content, but not a perfect fit for the speaker.

* Instagram: (Implicit) Mentioned in the context of parents sharing photos of their children.

* eBay: (Explicit) Refered as first online shop.

* "Old Internet" vs. "New Internet": (Implicit) A recurring theme, contrasting the perceived innocence and community of the early internet with the commercialized, algorithm-driven present.Greetings. Or maybe not "greetings." More like… a continuation. A brain-spill, captured on my trusty old Zoom H1 recorder. I love this thing because, unlike my "fancy" microphone, it lets me hear myself as I talk. Sounds weird, I know, but for this kind of rambling self-reflection, it's essential. It's like having a real-time sanity check.

And sanity was definitely in short supply this morning. I was trapped in my apartment, surrounded by the ghosts of unfinished projects. My website, that game I'm (supposedly) making, the ever-growing list of "shoulds"... it was all closing in. The internet, which is supposed to be this amazing tool, felt more like a digital prison, full of distractions and temptations masquerading as opportunities.

So, I did the only logical thing: I ran away. Okay, I went for a walk. A rainy, cold Saturday morning walk, to be precise. And I brought the recorder, because sometimes the best way to untangle your thoughts is to just… let them out.

The Siren Song of the Scroll (and Why It's Drowning Me)

One of the biggest things I've been wrestling with is the sheer volume of information we're bombarded with daily. I'm an information junkie, I admit it. Podcasts are practically my lifeblood (I have, like, four different pairs of headphones for different listening situations – don't judge). But lately, it feels like I'm drowning in other people's thoughts, leaving no room for my own.

And the news… oh, the news. It's this addictive, horrifying spectacle. The Elon Musk saga, the political dumpster fires, the global conflicts… I feel compelled to stay informed, but it's also incredibly draining. It's like watching a slow-motion train wreck, and you can't look away, even though you know it's making you miserable.

I keep finding myself longing for the "old internet" – the days before algorithms and monetization ruled everything. Remember when people blogged just to share their thoughts, not to build a personal brand? When online shopping felt like a risky adventure? There was a certain innocence to it, a sense of genuine connection that feels increasingly rare.

Parenting in the Age of the Perfectly Curated Feed

This all ties into my feelings about parenting, too. I'm a co-parent, which means I get these intense weeks with my daughter, followed by weeks of (relative) freedom. It's a rollercoaster, to say the least. And when I'm in "dad mode," there's just no room for anything else. My fancy new gimbal? Still in its box.

And I'm fiercely protective of my daughter's privacy. I see so many parents using their kids for online clout, and it just feels… wrong. Kids are adorable, fascinating creatures, but that fascination is primarily for their parents. Sharing every moment of their lives online, before they're even old enough to understand the implications, feels exploitative.

Finding the Signal in the Noise

So, where does this leave me? Still searching, I guess. Trying to find a balance between staying informed and staying sane. Trying to create more and consume less. Trying to be present, both for my daughter and for myself.

This recording, this messy, rambling brain dump, is part of that process. It's a way of reclaiming my own thoughts, of finding the signal in the noise. It's not polished, it's not perfect, but it's real. And in a world of curated realities, maybe that's the most valuable thing of all. I still don't really know how do you filter all that negative information. But here it is.

contact me at: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

A Berlin Walk: Spring, Scattered Thoughts, and the Search for Home (Or Something Like It)

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 22:23:00 +0200

Join me for an unusually long and (hopefully) unusually honest audio message, recorded on a sunny-ish day off in Berlin. This isn't your typical, tightly-themed podcast episode. It's more like a rambling conversation with a friend – a brain dump, a walking meditation, a slice of life captured on a 40-minute stroll to pick up my daughter from Kita.

Expect a stream-of-consciousness journey through thoughts on: the joys (and anxieties) of unscheduled time, the unpredictable moods of early spring, the persistent pull of travel and the search for "roots" (especially in your 40s), a brief and mildly embarrassing encounter with the world of "content creation" (and a camera I promptly returned), and the small, unexpected moments of human connection that make a big city feel a little less lonely.

This is an experiment in embracing the unstructured, the unfiltered, the real. It's about finding the interesting in the everyday, and maybe, just maybe, connecting with you along the way.

Topics Covered:

* Taking a day off in Berlin: The surprisingly profound impact of disconnecting.

* Early spring weather and its effect on the mind (and wardrobe choices).

* Travel envy, wanderlust, and the search for a place to call home.

* The "content creator" dilemma: Authenticity vs. the algorithm.

* A heartwarming encounter with a neighborhood acquaintance.

* Reflections on a retired couple vlogging from Mallorca.

* Finding connection in unexpected places.

* Embracing the messy, meandering nature of thought.

* The beauty (and occasional frustration) of being a human.

Highlights & Moments:

* [0:00] Intro: Setting the scene – a day off, a walk, and a microphone.

* [2:15] The joys (and anxieties) of a work-free day in Berlin.

* [5:40] Weather-induced existentialism: Spring's confusing signals.

* [8:55] Travel dreams and the feeling of being "stuck" while others explore.

* [14:20] The "content creator" cringe and my camera-buying regret.

* [22:10] A heartwarming encounter with a familiar stranger.

* [26:33] The inspiring authenticity of older vloggers (and my envy!).

* [34.05] Final thoughts and reflection

If you've ever felt lost, found, or somewhere in between, this episode might resonate. Give it a listen and let me know what you think in the comments! What are your thoughts on finding your place in the world, embracing imperfection, and the allure of the open road (or the open microphone)?

Keywords: Berlin, podcast, audio message, walking, day off, spring, travel, content creation, authenticity, connection, introspection, vlog, roots, home, personal essay, stream of consciousness, mindfulness, slice of life.

contact me at: cmonkxxx@gmail.com

Audio Podcast win over Video Podcast

Thu, 30 Jan 2025 14:04:57 +0200

sharing some news about podcast numbers. Apparently audio podcasts have a lot stronger engagement compared to video ones.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmonkx.substack.com

Morning Routines and Creative Drift: A Maker's Notebook

Thu, 30 Jan 2025 07:12:00 +0200

just a short morning monologue about upcoming spring season, migraine, freelancing, employment and so on. feel free to comment on Spotify

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmonkx.substack.com

Connecting Beyond the Categories

Wed, 08 Jan 2025 07:23:33 +0200

Welcome to the very first episode of my podcast! Join me on this new journey as I explore the world of unfiltered conversation and multi-faceted content creation. I'm diving headfirst into this project with a desire to share my thoughts and ideas freely, unconstrained by the typical podcasting norms. This episode lays out my vision for a podcasting experience that prioritizes connection over categorization.

I believe that limiting a podcast to a single topic can feel artificial and restrict the potential for genuine connection with listeners. Just as our real-life conversations flow naturally across various subjects, I envision this podcast as a space where we can explore a myriad of topics, all linked by the common thread of our shared human experience.

Key Moments:

[00:00:00] Introduction: Setting the stage for a podcast without categories. A beginning-of-the-year launch of an unconventional project.

[00:02:30] The Challenge of Categorization: Discussing the current podcasting landscape and the pressure to fit into a specific niche.

[00:09:00] The User Experience Perspective: My perspective on connecting with people on multiple levels and resisting the urge to categorize. A belief in the power of multifaceted connections.

[00:12:50] Real-Life Connections vs. Categorized Content: Drawing parallels between organic conversations and the desired format of this podcast.

[00:19:00] An Experiment in Authenticity: My hope for this podcast to succeed and inspire others to broadcast who they are, not just what they "do."

[00:22:00] Broadening the Scope: A look at my personal motivations and the diverse topics that will be explored in this feed.

[00:25:00] Personal Worlds & 3D Software: Sharing a personal limitation – the inability to travel freely – and my passion for creating virtual worlds.

This is an experiment, a departure from the conventional. It’s a podcast that embraces complexity and celebrates the multi-faceted nature of human connection. I hope you’ll join me on this journey as we explore what it means to create content that truly resonates.

I plan to share a mix of written posts, audio recordings, and videos, all connected by my personal perspective and a desire to connect with you, the listener. I'm looking forward to exploring a range of topics, from the intricacies of 3D software and virtual world creation to the broader themes of travel, human connection, and the search for meaning in a complex world.

Let’s see where this conversation takes us!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmonkx.substack.com

Testing DJI Mic Mini for podcasting

Sun, 01 Dec 2024 10:06:43 +0200

I test out my new DJI mic setup while cooking lunch and share thoughts on diving into content creation. Join me as I talk about my goals for podcasting and video production, the importance of sound quality, and creating a workflow that’s simple and friction-free. I also reflect on life as a single dad, my daughter’s week with me, and preparing for a visit from my mum. It’s a laid-back introduction to what I hope will be a creative journey worth sharing.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmonkx.substack.com

From Perfectionism to Publishing: A Creator's Journey with Camera Gear Review

Sat, 23 Nov 2024 15:08:29 +0200

A raw and honest exploration of creative paralysis and the journey to overcome perfectionism. This episode documents personal revelations about content creation, featuring practical camera tests and authentic insights about filming in Berlin.

Key Moments:

Commitment to publishing all recorded content to break the cycle of overthinking

Detailed comparison of different cameras: Canon Legria, Canon G7X Mark II, Pixel 8 Pro, and reflections on the DJI Osmo Pocket 3

Authentic street footage from Berlin's eclectic neighborhoods

Insights about public filming and overcoming self-consciousness

Coverage of a live podcast event discussing contemporary German society

Personal reflections on equipment choice vs. creative output

Equipment Featured:

Canon Legria with external microphone

Canon G7X Mark II

Google Pixel 8 Pro

DJI Osmo Pocket 3 (discussed)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmonkx.substack.com

Marathon episode

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 15:37:59 +0200

Long overdue marathon episode. Here I give a short context about my lack of preparation and what came out of this heroic effort. Enjoy. More to come soon

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmonkx.substack.com

Let’s talk about running

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 18:15:32 +0200

In this episode I’m talking about my newly discovered passion for running. I got motivated by randomly learning about upcoming marathon. It’s an event in Berlin that I’ve been ignoring for a couple of years now but always imagining how would it be to take part in. Having few months ahead of the event I decided to train for it instead of just looking at other people go. To my big disappointment hours, too late to register for Berlin Marathon 2023 as apparently there is a lot more running in enthusiasts than I thought. So I’m not going to take part this year, but I keep on training. In this episode, I’m sharing my findings discoveries and fun experiences during my irregular running sessions. I’m not an expert but I’m happy to discover share and hopefully exchange learnings.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmonkx.substack.com

Summer, Gaming, and Escaping Reality: On the Game Stray

Wed, 14 Jun 2023 20:01:00 +0200

I talk about my relationship with summer and the game called Stray

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cmonkx.substack.com

On My Way (The Power of Rain, The Urge to Create, and My New Electric Longboard)

Fri, 30 Jun 2017 16:50:00 +0200

In this episode, I take a long walk to work and reflect on a wide range of topics, from the humbling power of nature to the psychology of content creation. Why do so few of us create content, and what is the true value of the articles and podcasts we consume? I explore the idea that we should be processing and building upon what we learn, not just passively consuming it.

I also open up about my recent creative block, the therapeutic power of speaking your thoughts aloud, and how a listener's message inspired me to get back behind the mic. Finally, I reveal the exciting new piece of tech that has changed my daily commute and brought a new sense of adventure into my life: an all-terrain electric longboard.

This episode was originally recorded on the social podcasting platform Anchor.

Creativity, Content Creation, Podcasting, Psychology, Self-Reflection, Mindfulness,

Walking, Commuting, Technology, Electric Longboard, Evolve Skateboards, Nature, Vulnerability, Personal Growth, Journaling, Anchor Podcast

00:00 - The Beauty of a Downpour

* Why a heavy rainstorm is a welcome reminder of our vulnerability to nature.

* Reflecting on how easily our modern world can be disrupted.

02:15 - Walking, Thinking, and Recording

* Returning to the simple, reflective act of walking to work.

* Discussing my long hiatus from podcasting and the "inner blockage" that kept me from

creating.

* The therapeutic value of speaking your thoughts into existence.

05:30 - The Content Paradox: Consumption vs. Creation

* Why do so few people create content in a world that consumes so much of it?

* Debunking the "filter bubble" of online creators.

* A call to action: The importance of processing, connecting, and building upon the

information we consume, rather than just letting it sit in our heads.

* How this lack of active processing might contribute to a sense of disconnection in

society.

09:10 - A Listener's Encouragement

* A shout-out to Greg ("Conscious monkey") for his kind words.

* Reflecting on the unique, ephemeral nature of the Anchor platform.

10:20 - My New Favorite Thing: The Electric Longboard

* The real reason I haven't been walking as much lately.

* Introducing my new ride: an Evolve GT all-terrain electric longboard.

* The joy of off-roading through the park on my way to work and the new experiences it

brings.

* A promise to share a full review and my experiences in a future episode.

Mentioned in this episode:

* Platform: Anchor.fm

* Tech: Evolve GT Electric Longboard