Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Posey Mehta. in to talk about the importance of kink education led by people within the community, highlighting why authentic, sub-led perspectives matter. It also takes a critical look at the UK’s laws around kink—examining how they can be discriminatory and, at times, rooted in homophobic assumptions. Alongside this, the conversation addresses the need for greater body diversity in kink representation, drawing on experiences from London’s only fat-centric cabaret night, Big Fat Cab, and the broader fight against fatphobia in queer spaces.

Posey Mehta (they/them) is a multi-disciplinary live artist exploring fatness, submission, and masochism through drag, clown, and performance art. Their new show, Asking For It, challenges the illegality of S&M by inviting the audience to inflict Actual Bodily Harm on them in recognition of their capacity to consent. As their drag alter-ego, Mitzi Fitz, they run the sell-out sensation Big Fat Cabaret, London's best (and only) fat-centric cabaret. They're also a welfare monitor in kink spaces and advocate for sub-led kink education.

*Upcoming shows*

Asking For It WIPs | 20th & 21st April Protesting the illegality of S&M

Big Fat Cabaret | 18th April Mitzi Fitz fat-centric cabaret

Posey's Instagram ~ https://www.instagram.com/mosey_moo/

*What we were consuming*

[Book] Mary Gaitskill Secretary (1988)

[Film] Pillion (2005)

[Film] Secretary (2002)

[Definition] TPE (Total Power Exchange)

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Jessica Parker to talk about sensual pleasure touch.

In a live yoni massage session (audio p*rn?), Jessica talks us through her practice and skills as she massages Effie.

Misty and Frank also get the oils out and engage in some good old fashioned solo-voyeruism (totally different to solo-wa*king :p )

With fingers inside and around their parts, Jessica and the Crudies discuss:

1. What is mindful masturbat1on?
2. Is it ok to invite a magic wand into bed with a partner?
3. is toy addiction a thing?
4. How can massage and touch close the orgasm gap?
5. What's the secret to more orgasms? (Spoiler: it's communication :) )
6. What's the diffeence between sexual, sensual and tantra massages?

Jessica Parker is a pleasure educator, certified Sexological Bodyworker, and sensual events curator with over twenty years of experience in massage, touch, and erotic education. Known for her grounded, candid, and refreshingly real approach, she teaches the art of Sensual Massage to help people connect, communicate, and experience pleasure with confidence.

With a background in managing high-end sensual events and producing immersive experiences such as Pleasure Island Parties and Lady Liquid Love, Jessica creates warm, professional, and playfully curated spaces where genuine sensuality can unfold.

*Which oils should you use?*

Jennifer recommends natural unscented, and organic oils for use around the genitalia. Grapseed and coconut are her preferrred oils. Lelo massage candles are a must.

Website: www.jessicaparker.co

*What we were consuming*

[Dating app] AceSpace

[Podcast] The Orgasm Cult (on all players)

[Lifestyle] Orgasmic meditation

Frank in Berlin is joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest VEX about a very special gangbang with Effie and Elle, before the trio move on to conversations about Vex’s many guises and her fascinating professional career, which touches on virtually every facet of the porn industry. Vex also opens up about her sexual awakening in her 30s.

The Crudies discuss solo wan*ing, the sex-positive scenes in both the UK and Berlin, and how different cultures approach sexuality, performance, and personal branding. Along the way, they cover industry realities, creative freedom, and a host of other topics that make this episode an open, funny, and wide-ranging conversation.

Is solo-wanking breaching consent norms?

How can bad sex be good?

What's the difference between perverts and sluts?

Vex Ashley is an independent porn producer and performer and founder of the Four Chambers project. With a background in analogue photography, art school bullshit and digital sex online, Vex worked as a cam girl before beginning to make films as Four Chambers in 2013. Self-taught in cinematography with an emphasis on collaborative DIY practices, Four Chambers has spearheaded a new wave of creators making contemporary pornographic work from a new perspective with the aim to expand ideas about what porn can say, do and be.

Independent, conceptual, creative, porn cinema. She speaks, writes and spends her time talking about making porn creatively and independently, sex as performance, authenticity and the self, art and pornography, technology and sex, camming and online censorship.

Vex Links

instagram.com/vextape

instagram.com/fourchambers

*What we were consuming*

[Theory] Noelle Purdue (writer, artist, internet porn historian)

[Sauna] Boiler Sauna Berlin

[Research] Essay on women's growing interest in violent porn

[Film] Maman parts 1 & 2 (mommy kink) can be found on the Four Chambered Heart website.

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Paulita Pappel to talk about her role as an intimacy coordinator on film sets. Paulita has experience as a performer, producer and director in the adult industry as well as mainstream movies.

The crew discuses feminist porn and Paulita's incredible biography as visionary, activist and creative genius within the European porn scene. Before then discuss the role of an Intimacy coordinator role in cinema.

Is the role just about actor protection?

Can you be an intimacy coordinator and influence what a film looks like?

How can you work with queer sex scenes if you aren't queer?

Why is the Berlin porn film festival different?

What have romantic comedies to do with porn?

Paulita Pappel is a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. After studying comparative literature in Berlin, she worked both in front and behind the camera. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world. She is the director of HardWerk, a film studio creating cinematic and tailored erotica. She also co-organizes and curates the Porn film festival Berlin and the conference Adult Industry Forum. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture.

*Links*

paulitapappel.com

https://www.instagram.com/paulitapappel

https://x.com/PaulitaPappel

Paulita Pappel selected filmography: here

*What we were consuming*

[Book] Virginie Despentes, King Kong Theory (2006)

[Film] Anora (2024)

[Film] Blue is the Warmest Colour(2024)

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to finally dive deep into how they each define kink and fetish, what these concepts mean to them personally, and how they shape their relationships, identities, and everyday lives. In this episode, the trio explores the differences and overlaps between kink culture, fetish culture, latex, and sexual expression, sharing real-life experiences, misconceptions they’ve encountered, and the evolution of their own desires.

They talk about the role of consent, communication, boundaries, power dynamics, and negotiation within kink; how specific fetishes develop; and why self-acceptance is key in any alternative sexuality journey. The conversation also touches on how many people turn to sex workers to explore their kinks and fetishes.

*What we were consuming*

[Book] Anastasiia Federova, Second Skin: Inside the Worlds of Fetish, Kink and Deviant Desire (2025)

[Book] Justin Lehmiller, The Psychology of Human Sexuality (2014)

[Definition] Paraphilia – a condition characterized by unusual sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities.

[Wikipedia] Jessica Rabbit

[Fetish] "objectophile" or "objectum sexual": An individual who experiences romantic or sexual feelings towards inanimate objects.

[Book] Emily Nagoski , Come as You Are (2015)

Frank in Berlin and Effie in London sit down with filmmakers Sam and Ed from altSHIFT Films to explore the world of ethical and feminist porn, creative freedom, and the evolving landscape of adult media.

Recorded during the Berlin Porn Film Festival, this episode dives into how ethical adult filmmaking challenges traditional narratives and the stigma that often surrounds the industry.

Sam and Ed — longtime creators and industry professionals — share insights from their latest movie Blowie, and open up about how they approach filmmaking with integrity, consent, and artistry.

In this episode, we discuss:

What defines ethical porn?

The role of performers, directors, and producers on set

The realities of filming — from consent practices to creative storytelling

Is impact play and similar content automatically unethical?

Why the Berlin Porn Film Festival is a key space for sex-positive cinema and artistic expression

Join the CRUDIES as they unpack questions about ethics, representation, and the art behind adult filmmaking.

altSHIFT film

"A couple of queers making cinematic filth"

twitter.com/altshiftxxx

instagram.com/xxaltshiftxx  

*What we were consuming*

[Film] Blowie

[Festival] Berlin Porn Film Festival

[Data on female kinks] Aella

[Wiki] Prince Andrew and the Epstein Scandal

[Film] The Antichrist, 2009 (Lars von Trier)

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Lucy Banks in Perth, Australia to talk about her incredible life journey from corporate banking to a successful career on OnlyFans and the challenges this brought to her as a mother – from aggressive mothers at school to problems within her friend circles.

Lucy Banks is the founder of Million Billion Media, a global PR and marketing agency helping adult creators and spicy brands build real, sustainable businesses. Previously one of Australia’s top OnlyFans creators, Lucy now uses her unique experience on both sides of the industry to help creators scale their income and grow their influence

Million Billion Media Website: millionbillionmedia.com

Lucy's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imlucybanks/

*What we were consuming*

[Book] Kate Manne. Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny (2017)

[Expo] SeEx (formerly SexPo) Australia. Adult lifestyle expo

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London and special guests Dr Danielle and Celeste from the Somatica Institute to talk about their approach to sex and relationship counselling. Somatic healing covers emotions, communication, passion and sexual pleasure.

Celeste and Dr Danielle help clients their desires, boundaries, and feelings openly to became better listeners with their partners and the people they love.

Their innovative work has garnered international attention. Most notably through their roles as consulting producers and on-screen experts for Virgin Island, a groundbreaking British TV series on Channel 4 that introduces viewers to the transformative power of real-time intimacy coaching.

Instagram:

@somatica_institute

@celesteanddanielleofficial

TikTok: @celesteanddanielle

Websites:

somaticainstitute.com

learn.somatica.com

sexcoaching.com

*What we were consuming*

[Definition] Sex surrogate

[Series] Virigin Island

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in Spain and two very special guests to talk about female awakening and empowerment, OnlyFans, being ADHD and neurodivergent as well as burgeoning censorship in the US and OnlyFans. Mistress Kolipi and Øthyr took time out of their busy calendar(s) to share their life and missions with the Crudies

Mistress Kolipi and Øthyr describe themselves as are architects of desire who dismantle the boundaries between pain and pleasure, dominance and devotion.

Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Mistress Kolipi and Øthyr are a queer POC artist duo who create erotic works that function as ritual, rebellion, and reclamation. Their films, images, and performances challenge the gaze, rewrite the rules, and invite audiences into deeper states of embodiment, surrender, and power.

Kolipi is a femme domme of colour and professional dominatrix whose ceremonial approach to kink merges discipline with transformation.

Øthyr is an award-winning film director, photographer, and music producer whose past work for Nike, Red Bull, National Geographic, The New York Times, and NY Fashion Week has earned three Cannes Lions. Their work has been featured alongside Ai Weiwei, bridging the worlds of art, sex, and political resistance.

Here is a master link where you can catch up on the duo's latest projects: HausofKo

Haus of Ko on Insta: Instagram: instagram.com/@haus.of.ko

Website: www.hausofko.com

*What we were consuming*

[Learning] The Consent Academy

[Film] Hump Film Festival

[Research - DSM 5] Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

[US Law] Interstate Obscenity Definition Act (2025)

[SW documentary] Shame Shifters (Insta: https://www.instagram.com/shame_shifters/)

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Talia as they discuss sexual abuse and how it can relate to sexuality to art and to self-understanding.

*Confidential/Anonymous Helplines*

UK

If you are over the age of 16, living in England & Wales, and have been affected by any form of sexual violence or abuse, specialist and confidential support is available 24/7. Call 0808 500 2222 or visit the 24/7 Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Line to chat online or find out more. 

Germany

Unter der Nummer 0800 22 55 530 ist das Hilfe-Telefon Sexueller Missbrauch montags, mittwochs und freitags von 9:00 bis 14:00 Uhr sowie dienstags und donnerstags von 15:00 bis 20:00 Uhr bundesweit, kostenfrei und anonym erreichbar.

*What we were consuming*

[Statistics] UNICEF report and statistics on child abuse globally

[Book] Roxanne Gay. Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture (2018)

[Wikipedia] Bravo: German Teen magazine

[Art movement] (Viennese Actionism - Wiener Aktionismus)

[Wikipedia] Hermann Nitsch

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with the female founders of Berlin Nocturne —a kink-friendly, inclusive companionship agency.

From careers in marketing, art direction, health, and hospitality, these women found their way into seggswork and Berlin’s seggs positive scene.

We talk about why they started this project, what sets them apart in the world of companionship, and how they are building spaces and a community where diverse desire is not only welcomed—but celebrated in all its expressions: curious, queer, intimate, wild, soft, and powerful.

berlin-nocturne (.de)

moonlightsociety-berlin (.de)

*What we were consuming*

[Parties] Pinky Promise UK & Berlin

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Dr Diane Mueller to talk about how to reignite and reset desire and passion in longtime relationships. Where Dr Diane's expertise lies in mainly monogamous couples, the Crudes discuss desire across the spectrum of relationship forms.

• How does dopamine affect relationships?
• And what are the siggles?

Late in the episode, the Crudes talk about dating apps and closing orgasm gaps in their own relationships. Not forgetting Misty's experience wrestling in coconut oil with 25 people at Liquid Love Berlin.

Dr. Diane Mueller, ND, DAOM, is a board certified sexologist with dual doctorates in Naturopathic as well as Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine. She's the founder of the sex education centre: MyLibidoDoc.com and hosts 'The Libido Lounge' podcast, where she helps monogamous couples create more passion, desire hotter seggs and better communication.

• Free Libido Quiz: Find the root causes (and solutions) for low libido: LibidoQuiz.com
• Free e-Book: Revive Your Love Life: 5 easy steps for mind-blowing orgasms and romance: hotterlife.com
• YesNoMaybe Checklist: MySexDoc.com

*What we were consuming*

[Dating app] Breeze

[Book] Emily Nagoski. Come as You Are (revised 2021)

[Definition] Limerence is a term to describe a state of involuntary obsession with another person, often characterized by an intense infatuation and a strong longing for emotional reciprocation. It's distinct from love, as it involves a focus on the possibility of a relationship rather than the established emotional connection and commitment of love.

Misty and Frank in Berlin and Effie in London are joined by special guest Velvetine to talk all about Shibari.

What's the difference between Shibari and bondage?

Is Shibari always seggsual?

How old is Shibari?

Velvetine is a Berlin-based Shibari model whose happy place is finding freedom in restraints. Coming to Shibari from BDSM, getting tied is an erotic and kinky practice for Velvetine and not just an artistic practice.

When she’s not found swinging from the ceiling in ropes, Velvetine is a kink and erotica writer and movement practitioner. You can find her on Instagram at Velvetine_dreams and for those of you pervs with F*tl*fe: _Velvetine_

*What we were consuming*

[Photography] Cate Blanchett does Shibari

*Recommendations for Shibari spaces*

Berlin:

KOR Berlin @korberlin on IG - rope jams on Fridays

Daruma @daruma_berlin - rope jams on Thursday evenings and Shibari life drawing events once per month

London:

Anatomie Studio @anatomielondon

Barcelona:

La Gabia @la_gabia_ | Shizen Studio @shizenstudio.bcn

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat to special guest Skadi to talk about all things CNC (Consensual Non-Consent). CNC will either send shivers down your spine or your genitals.

All the current research says that between 31% and 57% of women have fantasies in which they are forced into sex against their will. A huge for 9% to 17% of women, these fantasies are a frequent or favourite fantasy experience. CNC or rape fantasies are mainstream fantasy, that nobody talks about in mainstream media.

Why shouldn't we say rape or ravage fantasy?

What is active surrender?

What's a crime kink?

*What we were consuming*

[Definition] What Is Consensual Non-Consent? The Kink Shrouded in Fear and Misconception (Vice)

[Book] Submit by Sonnet (2024)

[Research] Women's Erotic Rape Fantasies: An Evaluation of Theory and Research

[Book] Come as you Are (2021)

[Book/Film] Gerald's Game (1992/2017)

Misty, and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie and Angel in London to talk about Angel's journey of discovery and trans experience.

What is it like to hide your trans self?

What is a man, and how do men act?

When and why did Angel's dysphoria blow up?

And who sold weed to George Michael?

Angel is a pro domme (under the name Eris), cam girl, spicy content creator, kink photographer, welfare monitor, and dungeon mistress at some of the biggest UK feti$h parties. She founded Catnip FLINTA play parties.

As a seggs worker as well as a certified scene queen of the queer kink community, and as a woman of trans experience, Angel advocates for intersectionality within the London kink and fetish world.

[Insta] @angel_in_a_cage_80

[Website] Serve Eris

[Parties -London] Catnip parties (no CIS men allowed)

*What we were consuming*

[Book] Roxanne Gay, Not That Bad (2018)

[Music] Grime music

[Party-London] Riot Party

[Writing] Five act structure

[Definition] FLINTA - those who identify as Female, Lesbian, Intersex, Non-binary, Trans, or Agender

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by special guest Simon to talk about men, masculinity and the patriarchy. Simon discusses his journey of learning to suppress emotions and to open up about feelings, something that is absent from most boys' and men's skills sets, but why?

What do men talk about when they talk?

What don't men talk about when they meet up?

Why don't men have their own feminism?

Why don't men even think of themselves as men beyond the male roles they are given?

Should gender education be part of school curricula? What would it look like?

Simon Fokt holds a PhD in Philosophy and lectures at HTW Berlin. His academic work focuses on aesthetics, applied ethics, and metaphilosophy. His focus on taking complex philosophical concepts out of the scholarly discourse led him to adapt Aristotle’s virtue ethical concepts and apply them to modern masculinity discourse.

For more on Simon, visit his Linktree (website, Insta etc) here

Simon on YouTube: Here

*What we were consuming*

[Video] What is The Man Box?

[Statistics] Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK

[Statistics] The connection between a lack of male role models on violence, drug abuse and criminality

[TED Talk] How masculinity is evolving

[Academic article] Changing men, changing masculinities

[Philosophy] David Hume: "Reason Is and Ought Only to Be the Slave of the Passions."

Effie and her special guest Jane Grey are in London to talk about life as a dominatrix. Misty joins from Berlin as the three discuss their personal and professional experiences of being dominant or submissive and how their play has evolved over the years.

The Crudies also talk consent, again. And give tips on what to say if you find it difficult to say no before, during or after a scene.

Should we say Femdom or Dom femme? What's the difference?

Jane Grey is a professional Dominatrix, and founder of Scene and UnScene parties in London. She is also a creator of luxury, personalised experiences.

[Parties] UnScene (@unscene_ldn) or Scene (@sceneldn)

[Jane's branding agency] wmh-i

*What we were consuming*

[Wikipedia] Queen Jane Grey

[Podcast] The Orgasm Cult

[Hangover cure] Pre-Pear juice

When are hot dogs more than just hotdogs?

Crude goes to the zoo for this episode all about bestiality or sexual interactions with our furry and not-so-fury little friends on this earth.

Elle and Effie in London are joined by (lone wolf) Frank in Berlin to talk through the laws and hypocrisies within people's attitudes to animal welfare regarding sexual interactions with animals.

Which animals would the crew most like to kiss?

Is peanut butter the most effective way to seduce your pet?

*What we were consuming*

[Book] Luck Cooke Bitch: On the female of the species (2023)

[YouTube] Isabella Rossellini on bedbug mating (Green Porno)

[TV] Nip/Tuck episode with dog love

[Article] The Berlin magazine on zoophilia

[Article] Seggs with Donkeys in Colombia (Vice magazine)

[Article] [German] Two men discuss love affairs with their dogs

[History] Man loves horse (10,000 years old)

[History] Roman graffiti

[Pig love] Black Mirror Ep. 1

[Article] UK woman has seggs with pug

The Crude team talk all about different types of threesomes and what makes us desire them, as well as touching on how to have a good one.

Later on, they focus on the rise of male + male + female and male + female + male (MMF and MFM) threesomes. Are they all about power? Is placing the woman at the centre a necessary part of any successful threesome? Are male attitudes on same sex experience changing to suit women's desires, or are the Crudies just living in a sex-positive bubble?

While FFM threesome have been the cornerstone of 'risqué' mainstream culture and heteronormative fantasy, there has been a gradual shift toward more gynocentric attitudes to women's desire which is exemplified by increased female interest in porn that's focused on MMF fantasizes or more phallocentric sexual imagery and fantasies.

The crew also discuss some examples of MFM scenarios in films like Challengers (2024)

*What we were consuming*

[Article] Stats on women's top searches on adult websites (access original P*rnHub data via ManofMany website)

[Article] A Film Lover’s Guide to the MMF Threesome

[Film] Y Tu Mamá También – MMF scene (2002)

[Film] Challengers – boys in love (2024)

Effie is joined by Elle in London, Frank in Berlin and Elle's Lemurian sibling Margaux in California for this extra-sex-terrestrial episode all about aliens, probes, martian pegging and sci-fi.

History, scandal and three-boobed mutants. Crude goes to space.

Which aliens would the Crudies most like to sleep with or probe?

Why did people say aliens abducted them and gave them prostate massages? Was this a medical kink? Or are THEY walking among us now?

Abduction story credit: @libbiehiggins

*Alien Genetics*

[Alien-Ancestry.com] Elle & Margaux's alien heritage

*What we were consuming*

[Article] Nancy Reagan as the Throat Goat of Hollywood

[Article] H.R. GIGER’s Private Life Was Just as Dark, Sexy, and Pop as His Art

[Article] John E. Mack and the Unbelievable UFO Truth

[Article] Alien abduction claims examined

[Article] Neuropsychological profiles of adults ... implications for claims of sex abuse and alien visitation/abduction experiences

[Video] Betty and Barney Hill abduction documentary

[Article] The Satanic Panic

[Sci-fi author] Octavia Butler

[Book] Adrian Tchaikovsky Children of Time (2015)

[Book] Ursula K. Le Guin The Left Hand of Darkness (1969)

*Movie nerd stuff*

[Movie] Barbarella (1968)

[Movie] Labyrinth (1986) (Effie's Goblin King)

[Movie] They Live (1988)

[Movie] The Celluloid Closet - Documentary looking at queer cinema tropes (1995)

[Movie] Arrivals (2016)

In this episode, Frank in Berlin is privileged to be joined by the ineffable Effie and special guest Poppy in London. After all their poly-bashing, are the Crude Crew open to changing their mind on the term? Other questions that the Crew looks at include ...

What is polyamory? Why do Misty and Frank cringe at some poly language like "compersion"? Is everyone poly?

Poppy Scarlett is a professional over-sharer and Full-Time Sex Person™️. As a certified Sex and Relationships Educator, non-monogamy content creator and seggs worker, she bares all to help others shed shame and embrace pleasure.

Through her playful workshops and one-on-one coaching sessions, Poppy educates on sex, non-monogamy, and intimacy. She regularly appears as a guest expert on podcasts and panels. A proudly kinky, queer, and polyamorous woman, Poppy previously ran the much-loved online sex toy boutique, Self & More, before dedicating herself fully to pleasure education in all its forms.

For more, visit: poppy-scarlett.com

Instagram: @polyampoppy / @poppyscarlett_

*London parties*

• Scene
• Unscene

*What we were reading*

[Book] Natalie Lue The Joys of Saying No (2022)

On this episode, Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London and special guest Carlos in Birmingham, UK as the Crudies talk about all things gay party scenes and men-who-have-s3x-with-men (MSM)

Misty also tells us about her first g0ngbong experience, and Effie talks about London's S3x-worker pride and the party series that celebrated its inaugural event.

Special guest Carrrrrlos came on to answer all the questions we wanted to ask gay/MSM people who visit dark rooms and s3x parties. Are unsolicited d1ckpics ok? What is PrEP? What's the difference between Grindr and Hinge? What is wrong with condoms in the gay scene in London and Berlin? What about beauty standards among gay men?

*What we were reading*

[Fetish] Bug Chasers

[Medicine] PrEP explanation

[Parties UK] Riot Party UK

[Parties UK] Female and femme-leaning OneNightParties

On this episode, Elle and Effie in London are joined by a special guest Maya to talk about how and who sex workers date and the many complications that arise from it.

Crude Podcast: Seggsual healing

*What we were consuming*

[Podcast] Eva Oh

[Berlin exhibition] With Legs Wide Open

[Activism] Hackling // Hustling

[Article] Boomtown

[Article] Whorearchy

[Theory] Madonna–Wh0re complex

Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to talk about their breakup experiences. Did they end things or stay friends, and why not just burn their sh* and move on? What about post-break-up seggs? Is it a good idea? Or have they lost the privilege?

In the catch-up, Effie talks about her holidays in the French nudist and swinger paradise in Cap d'Agde.

*Crudie break up songs*

• Lou Dillon – ICU
• Peaches – F#ck the Pain Away
• Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know (acapella)
• Parcels – Once
• Michael Kiwanuka – Love & Hate
• Julia Jacklin – Don't know how to keep loving you
• Roger Fakhr – Fine Anyway
• Michelle Guerevich – End of an Era

.... more suggestions to our Insta @crude_podcast

*What we were consuming*

[Book] Katherine W. Thomas. Conscious Uncoupling (2016)

[Book] Esther Perel. Mating in Captivity (2006)

[Nudist holidays] Cap d'Agde on Insta: @villagenaturistecap

Misty in Berlin and Effie in London are joined by their special guest Kėkė to talk all about sex and music. The Crudies kick off with a discussion of how therapeutic gangbangs can be and Effie gives more tips on how to organise them.

Berlin-based un-disciplined artist, researching the intersections of sound, film, performance and somatic research. Kėkė's artworks are a space to explore how contemplative embodiment and improvisation can be a point of access to sense the living and connective tissue between ourselves, the spaces we inhabit and one another. By working across disciplines and sense organs, Kėkė seeks to create experiences through my art that invite introspection and innate curiosity, out of which the unexpected may emerge.

*Keké's links*

• Keké's homepage
• Kėkė's Instagram: @kekecreature
• Authentic Movement

*What we were consuming*

[Film] Midsommar

[Book] Andreas Weber. Matter And Desire: An Erotic Ecology (2017)

[Book] Adrienne Maree Brown. Pleasure Activism (2019)

[Essays] Audrey Lorde. Sister Outsider esp. “Erotic Empowerment” and “Naked Intimacy: Eroticism, Improvisation, and Gender”

[Wiki] Henri Bergsson

In this (yummy) episode, Effie in London is joined by Frank, Misty and special guest Clara from WeFeast to chew the fat on all things food and seggs.

After discussing how the food-fun plays out at Berlin's unique WeFeast play parties, the crud(ité) crew discuss their own experiences related to food and sex. Ever sploshed in a bath in a dress suit? What about remote zucchini seggs from Mexico?

Clara hosts unique and exclusive experiences for sex and food enthusiasts under the wings of We Feast. Carefully selected curious people are invited to explore themselves for a full weekend through immersive culinary adventures and tantric workshops hosted in a refined playspace. You can join WeFeast in Berlin and London.

Join the table: https://wefeast.life/berlin-feast/

Juicy newsletter: https://wefeast.life/letters/

*What we were consuming*

[YouTube] The Gum Wall

[Effie's elixir] Sweetened coconut condensed milk

Misty, and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to talk all about the joys and methods of making love to your very special own self. The team talks about the moral panics and history of shame surrounding a theme that is still very much taboo for many people. Did King Onan pull out or spill the seed? How often does the Crude team beat the meat, and why? Why don't we all talk about it more? Is everyone doing it?

*What we were consuming*

[Book] Dr Eric Sprankle. DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation (2024)

[Article] Euphemisms for masturbation (2023)

[Article] Origins of masturbation traced to primates 40 million years ago (2023)

[Book] Thomas W. Laqueur. Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation (2004)

[Academic journal] Kontula und Haavio-Manilla, "Masturbation in a generational perspective"; Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 2002. 14(2-3). 49-83.

[Academic journal] German-language study (2016) Link

[O-gap reducing services] OMGYES

[Article] Masturbation laws around the world (2013)

[Book] Samuel Auguste Tissot. A Treatise on the Curse of Onan (1758)

[Book] Anonymous. Onania (c.1712)

[Personality] Gypsy-Rose Blanchard

Special guest Lisa from Cybrothel.com talks us through the fascinating range of love dolls they have on offer, as well as VR experiences and other seggs tech services you can find at this unique house of pleasure in Berlin

Elle, Frank and Lisa look deeper into how love dolls will develop in the future and Lisa talks about how Cybrothel is actively looking to market dolls to a broader queer audience and for more female-centred doll experiences.

What are the ethics about seggs with dolls? What's happening in the future? And why do some people want to completely ban love dolls?

*What we were consuming*

[Futures anthropologist, Insta.] @roannevanvoorst Dr. Roanne van Voorst

[Cybrothel] Newsletter sign-up and info

[German kink magazine] My Kink

[Movie trailer] Her (2013)

[Series trailer] Westworld (2016)

[History of love dolls] “All Is Rubber!”: The Femmes en Caoutchouc and the Actual Origins of the Commercial Sex Doll

[AI chat bot] Replica

[Song, Elle's doll poem] Roxy Music: In Every Dream Home a Heartache

[...]

I bought you mail order

My plain wrapper baby

Your skin is like vinyl

The perfect companion

You float in my new pool

De luxe and delightful

Inflatable doll

My role is to serve you

Disposable darling

Can't throw you away now

Immortal and life-size

My breath is inside you

I'll dress you up daily

And keep you till death sighs

Inflatable doll

Lover ungrateful

I blew up your body

But you blew my mind

On this podcast, Effie in London is joined by Misty and Frank in Berlin to talk about raw dogging and bareback riding AKA completely irresponsible but occasionally hot seggs.

The discussion begins with a catchup on the team's news, the latest fivesomes, sevensomes and other some-somes. Including the perils of dating tall men and generic tech-bot guys ...

The crew then discuss raw dogging, bareback seggs (BB for short) and all the problems this can cause but also how hot it can be. Is it okay to fluid-bond with people while you are in an open relationship? Can your partner ask you to brush your teeth after you have swallowed some man jam? What is double-digging raw dog and is it worth it? What is the difference between rawdogging and fluid bonding? Effie gives us some insights from her now fully internalised polyamorous dictionary.

*What we were reading*

[Wikipedia] 'Rawdog' redirects to 'Bareback'

[Reddit] Who else hates the term fluid bonded?

[Gay adult film] BareBack Mountain (LycanFilms 2006)

After a catch-up where the team swipe themselves into a flurry talking about some of the mishaps, traps and jackpots they've hit while burning precious life energy on dating apps.

How is it hooking up with couples on dating apps?

Is it easy for couples to meet unicorns or single boys and girls for fun?

How is dating for bisexual boys and girls?

What can go wrong when looking for hook-ups?

Insta: @crude_podcast

Email: Crude.Berlin@gmail.com

*Crudie dinner-date menus*

Misty: Clementines - "Before, during, and after"

Effie: Vegan sushi - "Just because"

Frank: Grapes & cheese on spikes - "Oldie but goldie"

*What we were consuming*

[Movie] Newness

[Festival] Easter Fetish Festival

[Article] Relationships that begin online are less stable

[Article] Maximisers and satisfiers

*The apps and websites we use*

Bumble @bumble

Feeld @feeldco

JoyClub @joyclub_de / @uk_joyclub

Hinge @hinge

Fetlife https://fetlife.com/

Grindr @grindr

[Website] Fabswingers.com

After a catch-up where the team discuss the opening of Elle's With Legs Wide Open exhibition at the Schwules Museum Berlin and the topic of sex work prohibition in Europe, the Crude crew dive deep into how they deal with jealousy in their relationships and situationships in the past and in the present.

Is jealousy sometimes good? Can it be avoided? What should you do if you are jealous? Are some people more competitive, or is that jealousy? And what the f**k is compersion?

*Effie's t-shirt design ideas*

1.

Project Insecurities

Onto Other People

2.

High & Lubed

3.

Jealous?

Play squash

*What we were consuming*

[Article] DW article on the 2017 prostitution law

[Book] Esther Perel. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity (2017)

[YouTube] ContraPoint on the difference between envy and jealousy

[YouTube] Esther Perel on the Nature of Erotic Desire 

[Spotify] Esther Perel on polyamory on the Tim Ferriss podcast

[Ted Talk] Compersion and Jealousy

[Podcast - in German] Embrace Jealousy

After a catch-up where Elle discusses an exhibition she is curated in Berlin (With Legs Wide Open) in 2024, the Crude crew talk about all things ass, anal, butts and bums. Everything from rimming to fingers to plugs and willies and all the other stuff too.

Is it worth it for people with pussies? Does everyone like it? Can you cum from it?

Bottoms up!

*What we were reading*

[Book] Juno Mac & Molly Smith. Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Workers' Rights (2020)

[Book on feminist sex wars] M.G. Grant. Playing the Whore: The work of sex work (2014).

*Important links*

[Collective] Objects of desire

Effie's beginner butt plug

Elle, Misty, Effie and Frank are back and catching up on their recent lives from the past weeks. There are diggs that won't come down, blood from Empress Wu, peaches full of man jam and lots and lots and about Poor (Terrible?) Things.

*What we were reading*

[Book] Emily Nagoski. Come as You Are (2015)

[Book] Peter Brook. Ch. 7 "Frankenstein" in What is a Monster? (1993)

[Essay] Laura Mulvey. "Visual pleasure and narrative cinema". Screen. 16 (3): 6–18 (Autumn 1975).

[Film trope] Born Sexy Yesterday

[Film trope] Manic Pixie Dream Girl

[Exhibition Berlin] With Legs Wide Open

[Mary Shelley] Mary Shelly's Mother's Grave

*What we were watching*

[TV miniseries] Alias Grace

[Film trailer] The Holy Mountain

[Director] Yorgos Lanthimos: Dogtooth, The Lobster. The Favourite. Killing of a Sacred Deer. Poor Things.

[Film] Luca Guadagnino. Call me by your Name (2017)

[Film] Luc Besson. The Fifth Element (1997)

[Film] Franklin J. Schaffner. Planet of the Apes (1968)

[Film] Julia Ducournau. Titane (2021)

In this episode, the Crude team get all wet as they dive deep into the fluid shallows of the world of squirting. So, what is it? How does it work? Can everyone do it? And, most importantly ... is it pee? [It's not :) ]

Misty and Frank in Berlin, Effie and Elle in London are joined by G in the studio to go over the myths and science as well as all the other sloshy details you need to know about squirting.

G (g/they/them) is an experimental intimacy artist, writer, erotic bodyworker and performer who has been 'orgynizing' and facilitating play spaces worldwide since 2014. G loves puns, is a proud squirter and prefers hip-hop to techno. You can find them on Insta @passions.g.ame

*What we were reading*

[Scientific study] A sexual superpower or a shame? Women’s diverging experiences of squirting/female ejaculation in Sweden

[Scientific survey] Female ejaculation has a positive impact on women's and their partners' sexual lives

[Historical article] The History of Female Ejaculation

*Squirting workshops and coaching*

[Insta] World record Squirter @lolajeandotcom

[Squirt coaching UK] ecbonyandivory.com

[Squirt coach UK, Insta] @jessicaparkerpleasure

Elle, Misty, Frank, and special guest Becka in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to talk about the different types of help people turn to to become better lovers or to enhance their own sexual experiences. With a huge surge in interest in sexual learning in the past years, the Crude team discuss if sex can be coached at all and why people believe it can.

Rebecca is a coach, workshop, and breathwork facilitator, and writer. Her focus is on sexuality, pleasure, relaxation and the exploration of how to live a rich emotional, and physical life. Find her on Insta @feel_more_bln

*What we were reading*

[Book] Avgi Saketopoulou, Sexuality Beyond Consent: Risk, Race, Traumatophilia (2023)

[Festival] Stockholm Scenario Festival

[Workshops] Workshops on seggsual learning from luhmen d'Arc Insta: @luhmendarc_

[Webpage] James Joyce's love farts

"You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fcuked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fcuk a farting woman when every fcuk drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also."

On this podcast, the Crude team are chatting with two special guests about why they cheat.

Effie in London joins Elle, Misty, and Frank to get all down and Crudey about a subject everyone has strong opinions about but rarely discusses. Why do people cheat? If so many people cheat, then why do people get so upset about it? Statistics generally estimate that around 30% – 50% of the humans in this world are cheating.

What does this say about monogamy? Why are poly evangelists and people who practice ethical non-monogamy so smug and judgemental about people who feel they have to cheat because they have too much to lose with full disclosure?

Is cheating a kink? Are affairs always hotter sex? Find out the answers to all of these questions and more only here, on Crude

*What we were reading*

[Journal article, PDF] Money, Masculinity, and Marital Infidelity

[Scientific article] Reasons for cheating

[Article] Who cheats more, women or men?

[German Survey] More women cheat than men

In this episode, the Crude team gets all infectious with a whole show dedicated to STIs.

Why can't people be more honest about their STI status? Why do so many people not get tested? Are people in sex-positive scenes more or less trustworthy when it comes to sexually transmitted infections?

Elle, Misty, and Frank in Berlin are joined by the evergorge Effie in London to talk about the stigmas surrounding STI testing and the dreaded positive test call. The team also talked about the incongruities of the ridiculous testing regime in Germany compared to other Western countries.

DM our Insta channel (@crude_podcast) for info on doctors in Berlin offering free and easy STI testing for all genders and sexualities.

*What we were reading*

[Book] Susan Sontag, Aids and its Metaphors (1989)

[Article] The Secret Code of Beauty Spots

[Book] Kate Lister, Harl0ts, Wh0res & Hackab0uts: A History of S3x for Sale (2021)

[Article] Love is contagious: how sexual diseases contaminated art history

In this episode, the Crude team talks candidly about the hedonist excesses of s3x-positive lifestyle and how various substances and booze can enhance or even ruin playtime.

Misty, Frank, and special guest Visar, are in Berlin, while Effie is back in London. The four chat about their experiences with dr8gs and sex and how this can affect giving or receiving consent. Sober parties and dark rooms come up, and Frank reveals how Effie tried to murder him with her p**sy one fateful evening.

*Important addresses*

Substance usage is extremely dangerous and can very quickly lead to abuse and addiction. It's important to know that there are anonymous phone lines in every major city where you can find answers to any questions or concerns you may have about alcohol or drugs.

Berlin: This organisation has addiction counselors who speak multiple languages

London: Contact details for various addiction and counseling services around the UK

*What we were reading*

Infographic: A map of deadly drug combinations

Penile injections: An introduction to the effects and side effects.

[Article] The dangers of recreational drugs

When is a gangbang not a gangbang? We think it all depends on the perspective. Elle, Misty, Effie and Frank give you the lowdown on banging gangs. If this has been a fantasy of yours or if you want to hear how others experience it, join the Crude conversation.

Amanda Kerri: (quote in Substackú, Growing up Transgender): "I had body issues. For me, gang bang porn has a strong element of body and sex-positivity to it. Here is a person at the center of the gang bang who is indulging in just wild, crazy abandon of moral taboos, any sort of sexual shame, and is just letting themselves become almost gluttonous with sex. It’s not the people using the woman in the center of a gang bang, but her. It’s her body and sexuality that’s the center of the lust, and she’s in full control of it.´

Annabel Chong: We're not wilting violets, we're not victims, for Christ's sake. Female sexuality is as aggressive as male sexuality. I wanted to take on the role of the stud. The more [partners], the better." 

*What we were consuming*

Lucy Cook. Bitch: A Revolutionary Guide to Sex, Evolution and the Female Animal (2022)

Article: Sperm competition

Hyenas, matriarchal and slutty: https://www.discoverwildlife.com/animal-facts/mammals/why-female-spotted-hyenas-rule-the-pack

Article: Everything You Need to Know About Gangbangs: The History, the Reasons, and the Science

Half of the Crude team have had their tubes tied or snipped. Which is why we're talking about sterilization today. We'll focus on how understanding agency and bodily autonomy is key to this decision, and not what governments or society thinks about it.

Along with special guest Anna, Elle and Effie in London are joined by Frank and Misty in Berlin to talk you through some of the issues, facts and stigmas surrounding female and male sterilization. They'll also muse over the impact this has on women's identity independent of the baby machine model.

*What we were consuming*

Lucy Cook. Bitch: A Revolutionary Guide to Sex, Evolution and the Female Animal (2022)

• Childfree group on Reddit
• Ted Talk on not having kids
• NHS info page (British Health Service)
• German Government-sponsored information

WARNING! You may not want to be eating while listening to parts of this podcast.

On this podcast, the Crude team is talking about scat in all its stinky, dirty, and erotic glory. Is this the dirtiest kink or the most intimate? And why is it so funny?

Along with the history of poop and some partner fart stories, Elle, Misty, Frank in Berlin, and Effie in London laugh as they wade through the kink of crap and other fluids.

"Consider the image which presents the Pope's birth, emerging not from the vaginal canal of a human woman, but rather from the quivering, prolapsed rectum of a hideous she-devil, the papacy reduced to a fecal still-birth passed through the ulcerated sphincter of a sulfurous demon."

*What we were Consuming*

• Ed Simon. "Fecal Fridays: Martin Luther on the Toilet" https://queenmobs.com/2017/12/fecal-fridays-martin-luther-toilet/
• Dominique Laporte History of Shit (2002)
• Mary Douglas. Purity and Danger (1966)
• Norbert Elias. The Civilizing Process [Über den Prozess der Zivilisation](1939)

*Further reading*

Dieter & Jacqueline Rollfinke. The Call of Human Nature: The Role of Scatology in Modern German Literature (1986)

In this episode, Elle, Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to explore the topic of consent in s3x-positive contexts and beyond.

Does yes always mean yes in the same way no always means no? What kind of situations blur the lines between consent and kinky stuff?

Through the muse of their personal experiences, the four discuss how consent has evolved in these scenes over the years. They also chat about the different ways in which consent can be given. Importantly, they all agree that much more education is needed to make these spaces safe and fun for everyone.

Join the conversation on Insta @crude_podcast!

*What we were reading*

• Jan Schweitzer. Maenner*, Feb 2023, pp. 32-40 “Was heisst Ja?” [What does yes mean?]  https://epaper.maenner.media/manner-ii-23/68087916
• "I went on a date with Aziz Ansari..." https://babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355
• Maggy Nelson. "The ballad of sexual optimism" in her book On Freedom.

On our first podcast, the Crude team discusses the topic of "Big dicks and feminism."

Can you be a feminist – male or female – and still be ok about liking or not liking big dicks? Does wanting to have sex with men with big aubergines mean you are upholding the patriarchy? Is it a problem if the only sex you like involves you reducing your male partner to the size of his member?

This whole subject is something of a taboo for most straight men. And many women feel uncomfortable talking about it in their relationships or with friends.

Elle, Misty and Frank talk you through some of these icebergs and try to resolve some of the issues surrounding big dicks and their effect on feminists and their understanding of feminism.

*What we were consuming*

[Book] Lucy Cook. Bitch: A Revolutionary Guide to Sex, Evolution and the Female Animal (2022)

[Book] Donna J. Haraway. Simians, Cyborgs, and Women : The Reinvention of Nature London: Free Association, 1991.

[Essay] Elisabeth Stephens. “The Spectacularized Penis: Contemporary Representations of the Phallic Male Body.” Men and Masculinities 10, no. 1 (July 1, 2007): 85–98.

[Essay] Greta Christina “Are We Having Sex Now or What?” in The Erotic Impulse: Honoring the Sensual Self. ed. David Steinberg, 1992, pp. 24–29.