Hi, everyone. I wanted to update you all on where to find the latest content for the Crushing Daily Podcast. We have shifted over to a paid subscription on Spotify of $5.99 a month. There is already new video content on YouTube, but the audio version of that content will be arriving on Spotify in the next week or two. In addition, new episodes will be coming out weekly from now on, and I will update you if there will be a break in the schedule. Looking forward to bring you all of the mind body information you need.  

Eric brings the stats, as always, and we find staggering numbers on the impact of the absence of fathers — something 1/4 of all children experience in not having a father figure in their lives at all — as the likelihood of jail time, teen pregnancy, and more gets much higher in these circumstances. The brothers explore the different angles that can make being a father tough, including how we can be tough on ourselves. Dr. Dan puts the emphasis on learning to let your kids be exactly who they are, trusting in that, and focusing on listening to who they are in an effort to be there for them best.

The conversation shifts, when Rob walks the walk, as the group dives in deeper to his concerns about how he has done as a father, and Edgar shares some similar worries in relation to his son. But the whole group can agree that they best way to be is to recognize that, while no one is perfect, the thing your kids most need is for you to be ‘perfectly you.’

Both describe their stories here and each are harrowing tales of crippling pain experiences and the seeming loss of all kinds of function and hope. Luckily, Rita and Tamara each found their way and even found each other on the TMS Wiki, which calls to mind how important it is to continue building community among pain sufferers so we can support each other and continue to bring hope to the sometimes difficult process of recovery.

Rita talks about being a mind body coach now, while Tamara shares more about the book she wrote on CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) — formerly known as RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy). They partnered and created a website where they share their knowledge and success stories with CRPS patients: http://www.defeatcrps.com. Both echo the sentiment that, while doubt can be larger with such a symptom profile, it really is no different than the other symptoms and that this is a message the entire pain and symptom sufferer community needs to hear in multiple ways.

Today, we look at level one doubt: when you are not sure if your symptoms are mind body issues or if they might be structural in some way. I lay out the mind body interpretation of a specific doubt — that we might just be re-injuring an initial injury over and over — versus a structural theory of what is happening. As we look at the structural theory, we find that science is, decidedly, against it, and then the logic starts to fall apart as well. One of the things I point out is that, to keep supporting such an illogical theory, a secondary theory is usually required and the process continues until there are so many assumptions required to keep it going that it becomes obviously false.

This is a major way that I engage in using logic against each one of my doubts and I am hopeful that, in your being able to see it in action, you can make further headway in winning the many battles against doubt, just as I have.

In Breaking the Mold, the brothers discuss actor Terry Crews having had the courage to report a production executive for inappropriate sexual touching and how he must have had to get past caring what people might think of him as a big, strong man. We talked about the bravery of breaking the mold in any way and that this is one of the keys to getting away from toxic thinking — to be yourself and be aligned with yourself no matter what people might think of who you are.

This is also a special episode because Edgar, Eric, and Dr. Dan take a step back to take stock of how they have grown together in sharing some of their hardest experiences. This segment shows, more than any other, what men learning to talk to each other for real support can reveal about who we are and who we can become.

We start out by exploring Dani’s mind body history that hit a crescendo in 2015 with the most typical TMS symptom of back pain — crippling, scary, and deeply frustrating in the confusion of it all. She and I also share a very similar story of recognizing ourselves in the works of Sarno and this cementing our belief in what he was saying, but then wanting more on how, exactly, to go about doing the work.

Dani’s conquering of her pain, which included getting herself used to movement again, and her interest in yoga has led her to create a program for pain sufferers of all kinds (not just back pain!) to learn how to calm their central nervous systems, learn trust in their bodies, and regain functionality. But, as she and I noted together, it is in the growth as a person — whether in understanding our emotions, reducing our doubts, or in finding our powerful path — that we get the most out of living. It was a pleasure to see her continuing to make gains and know how she is helping others in our community.

I name these A and B questions so that we can start discussing this concept and how it may be affecting your ability to get better. A questions are the ones that come from a motivation to understand things better. You might think that all of your questions are like this, but this is one of the ways that doubt finds a way to bite you — by hiding in a question that really doesn’t have an answer and is only designed to create confusion, fear, and a dead end. These types of questions are B questions.

We all ask both kinds of questions, but it is vital that we learn to recognize when our questions are serving doubt and not ourselves. What we end up doing with these questions is also totally divergent, so the distinction is crucial. B questions are not to be taken seriously, because they actually have no good answers (by design, in fact…the more baffling they are, the happier doubt is with having this question on your mind), and aren’t even questions, really. What they are is worries, fears, and doubts. Learn to ask the A questions and you will always make headway in your understanding, because that is their goal.

Much to my surprise, I found out that Bob did not get into mind body work because of his own suffering, but more because of proximity to NYU Langone and running into Dr. Sarno. But his interest in spirituality, mysticism, and buddhism ended up fitting very well with a psychological approach that incorporated the body and a sense of holistic work.

Bob and I noted together how each clinician has to fold our understanding of the mind body work into who we are as therapists and talked about the ways that this unfolded for him. We consider the direction of the field and what we find to be important as things continue to expand.

Mind body issues present in a variety of ways, but I have been getting a lot of questions, of late, about these issues of attending to the symptoms and not being able to move forward. When the focus comes from an obsessional personality, you need to use your emotions and power columns to refocus your thoughts in a more productive way. But when it is fear based, it is purely the work of the doubt column and the specific doubt needs to be articulated and contradicted with science and logic.

Each column has its function and can help you to locate the nature of your particular struggle within the system. While attentional mind body issues have a doubt origin, the solution is quite different for different presentations, and these ideas should help you to distinguish between varying types and choose appropriate action steps accordingly.

In Breaking the Mold, the brothers revisit the idea of mani pedis and note that it really did bring up some surprising, uncomfortable feelings in Dr. Dan and Eric that indicate what goes on in our expectations of ourselves as typically gendered beings.

Finally, in the segment that is the heartbeat of this show, Dr. Dan walks the walk again, talking about a very difficult experience in therapy with a psychoanalyst who proved to be threatened by him and abusive in some reality bending ways. Edgar and Eric show up, as always, to support and understand this process that Dr. Dan feared would not be understood by others because it isn’t as obvious a struggle, but Eric highlights how much of a violation it is to have a therapist fail you so badly that you are left doubting your own worth.

Given the short amount of time any GP has with their patients — Liz notes that she usually only gets ten minutes with each — it becomes all the more imperative that doctors understand how to assess what is going on for people from an emotional angle, particularly if we are going to stand a chance at getting people diagnosed correctly and set on a course for the right treatment.

Dr. Croton is a fine example of what can happen in our society when a good practitioner continues to think scientifically and logically and even change their whole practice if required to do good work. She notes that it often felt scary to make such changes because it ran counter to so many of her colleagues, but she expresses being glad she did it and optimistic that it is helping those with whom she works.

One really fun aspect of this interaction for me came from how this video came to be, since it was serendipitous. Patty had emailed me with a brilliant thought she had about the three columns system and compares TMS, through my lens, to the Wizard of Oz. The Tin Man needs a heart (the emotions column), The Scarecrow needs a brain (the doubt column), and the Cowardly Lion needs the power column. All the while, Dorothy has the resources within her to get home and to safety and all it takes is exposing the all powerful Oz (TMS) as a fraud.

In having her on to tell the story, I was not only happy to see her direct, vibrant telling of the analogy, but to hear about how she worked through the information in my system and in the seminars. She points out another valuable piece of the seminars, as well, in the observing of others asking their questions, getting settled about things, and making headway. It was a pleasure hearing from Patty and knowing the work had made such a difference to her after years of not feeling like she had entirely the right information.

This video looks at the potential consequences of judging ourselves for themes that we did not choose for ourselves, continue to operate the way they do whether we like it or not, and, when you look more closely at them, have no inherent reason to be judged anyway. We look at how to recognize when you are judging yourself, because it can be a very slippery slope towards judgment with the slightest bad feeling about yourself.

After learning to identify judgment, you will need to turn your attention to that ever-important question with respect to what to do next: How do I stop myself from judging? I go over my way of thinking about the emotional themes you develop and how and why you can set those judgments down and never look back. I hope this proves useful in your recovery process, as I know it can make a big impact on the using the emotions column much more effectively.

In Breaking the Mold, Momo blows the doors off of the segment, sharing his unabashed love of romantic movies — and how they inform writing more than other genres — and he and Edgar bond further over getting mani-pedis. While Eric and Dr. Dan can’t personally relate, all four applaud letting something fun and positive into their lives if it feels good to them.

Momo walks the walk this week and tells the story of losing his mother and needing to put off the grief so completely to get through that he ended up sinking into his acting role as Steve to the degree that ‘Momo’ wasn’t really there. The Brothers consider how mourning processes work and the key way that others can help, not with empty words, but by being able to stay present, with or without words.

One of the main things on which we bonded was the now laughable notions of structural theories, as they do not fit with even the most basic observations we can make so easily. Fred shares that he got a lot of what made him better simply by asking himself to find joy and excitement, rather than fear and worry. His nine step process that he crafted for himself can now be found in book form, as he, in his own words, became an ‘accidental author’.

Fred’s ideas on how to get better have freed up hundreds, if not thousands of people to get better, and his sense of humor, along with the inspiration of Rocky soundtracks helped him make rapid progress once he understood the mind body process. His system shows that it isn’t always what you do, so much as what you come to believe from what you do. It was a pleasure having him on and I look forward to more time with this energetic mind body coach.

Perhaps it isn’t a surprise that a long time veteran of the Air Force — with the military’s penchant for precision and organization — took so well to my system. But Marc also showcases many of those great qualities that can also lead us into some difficult places. His goodist tendencies, his empathy, his intelligence, and more had left him with too much information and not enough information, as I often say.

Marc also makes the crucial point that he did not get my system right away. He had to work it through, keep asking questions, and give himself time. But I am extremely gratified to see that he was able to use it to conquer his latest symptom which had taken hold with a stronger level of doubt than previous ones. I am grateful to him for sharing his success story so generously highlighting my work in such a positive light.

If you aren’t making the breakthrough the way Marc did, fear not! There are many ways to get the system to click. Just keep asking your questions and get them answered to your full satisfaction.

One of the things I cover in this video is how we can think of our own psychologies as having a structure — the consistent things that are always true — versus the moment to moment experience which dominates most things. Depressed thoughts try to fool us into thinking things are permanent and ‘structural’ just as doubt does with triggers about physical symptoms. People are always looking for what makes sense and depression will attach to any plausible explanation it can and hide out there. Once we’ve ruled out a big, present day explanation for feeling depressed, we can attack these seemingly plausible ideas and expose them for what they are: illogical, nonsensical self-attacks.

Depression derives much of its power by being seen as a different, harder to manage symptom than most. But this proves to not be true when we apply mind body thinking. It is our doubts that it can be managed this way that, at times, stands in the way.

We start with questions for Dr. Dan, including Nick wondering about how to deal with resentment, which ties into his experience of losing his good friend and having to try to operate normally after that. Eric brings up the numbers on suicide which helps the Brothers discuss this issue, including the impact of trauma and feeling that there is not way out.

After a brief interlude in Breaking the Mold, where we find out about Nick’s favorite romantic comedies, Nick shares a deeply personal story: his struggle with suicidal ideation and tremendous anger that left him not feeling remotely like himself. The loss of his friend changed him dramatically, but the Brothers reflect back the very positive aspect of Nick’s response, in which he listened to his soul to guide him towards the kind of listening and connection he needed to get through.

In this Crushing Doubt interview, Adriana Bucci joins me to discuss her growing expertise as a life coach, helping her clients get free from toxic relationships, with a particular focus on narcissism. She and I cover a lot of ground, noting the similarities between the gaslighting and confusion that narcissists render in a very similar manner to which doubt works in symptoms. We talked about the importance of absolute certainty that is needed to stay clear on what is happening, not fall prey to fear, and be able to keep the right boundaries for yourself to not be harmed by such people (or by doubt!).

This interview can help you to recognize the signs of a narcissist and it is important to note that they do not usually start off toxic, but, on the contrary, quite charming and beginning a cycle that leaves their victims confused and afraid so that they can keep getting narcissistic supplies from you in your suffering. She outlines the cycle of love bomb, devalue, discard, and repeat that leads to people falling into these cycles with them and we both note the tremendous suffering that comes from such abusive behavior. One other important fact to note is our conviction that you must see that they know exactly what they are doing when they perpetrate these abuses, so that you don’t feel guilty about getting them out of your life.

What became clear, as Dorisa and I talked is how her confidence in the diagnosis and the wide range of experience that explains what she sees and feels in her own body continues to grow. We talked about enjoying this journey and how it relates to my power column work.

Dorisa is another example of a success story and she shares how her awareness of her emotional life was a huge factor in getting better, but that my focus on doubt and power work enhances what she can know about herself and how to get better.

Whether in relation to symptoms or not, problems will require a significant level of determination and I talk in this video about learning to anticipate the call to give up the fight — from depression, doubt, fatigue, or running out of gas. Another aspect of the how of it all is the different sources of motivation and energy. While intrinsic motivation can be fleeting, and self care (as important as it is) takes time and thought, anger is readily available as fuel virtually all the time.

In the end, the main thing we get to in this video is this: It is a huge factor in getting better from mind body symptoms to be sure you win the battle against doubt and that is going to take a lot of work and determination. But you can do it and you can multitask by finding something productive to do with your anger, relieving it as such, and using the energy that is contained within it.

In Old News, the Brothers look at some statistics on women earning higher wages than their men and explore how this tends to impact men in their feelings about themselves. The group recognizes that certain societal constructs can often drive expectations men have for themselves, preventing them from operating more flexibility within this space. This brings us right into Breaking the Mold, where we look at another way that men can feel boxed in and having to pretend something that runs counter to the true nature of most: our love of romantic comedies. All three Brothers validate the idea that we love these types of movies, even if we might get teased about it (ridiculously so, as it is totally natural to love these imaginings). And yet, Edgar still has not seen The Princess Bride OR Say Anything!

And, finally, in our most profound segment on each show, Eric Walks the Walk, sharing a hugely influential experience in his life in finding out his ex-girlfriend was seven months pregnant with his child and lost the baby in a car accident. Eric shares how this affected him so deeply that he decided not to have kids and Edgar and Dan are there to support him, help him see what a good dad he might have been, and to know his full value comes in who he is as a person, regardless of his choice to be a parent or not. 

Mark and I also discuss the importance of disclosure for patients, both in their ability to entrust us with what is going on for them emotionally, but with respect to their ability to trust the genuineness of the treatment provider. I express appreciation for the research happening out there, as I note that not everyone is as drawn to this area of the work, despite how important it is.

In fact, as we explored what got Mark into the mind body field, he shares a story of the first time he came to be aware of his own mind body process and how far it went. I marvel with him about the scientific mind he had even back at nine years old and how he continues to apply these skills in ways that benefit the entire mind body community and the sufferers who so badly need our help.

Each consultation has a life of its own and a different rhythm, and Diane and I found that the power column was a particularly active one for her awakening and ability to start to master her symptoms. We have seen some symptom reduction, but also a big change in the way she views herself and the different actions she takes because of this new thinking. We used my action steps as a template to begin to craft what will be her own plan for dealing with symptoms, under the umbrella of my system.

Among the changes that might most apply were accepting that she has had actual trauma )as she hadn’t seen it that way in the past), learning to empathize with herself about that experience, using the core narrative as an emotional mantra, and evaluating each situation to make the most powerful choice that she can. We even found that she was able to make more self aligned choices both before and during the session. We plan to keep in touch as needed for her to continue making progress.

I describe how we can see development in three phases: 1) The part of life in which we are learning to manage the conflicts between external demands and our internal needs; 2) When our internal setups won’t function well enough anymore, and we begin to get more in touch with certain dissatisfactions, leading to the emergence of symptoms; and 3) The stage in which we receive the message of the symptoms and can now live without chronic symptoms, but with a more fully developed and adaptive sense of self.

Even though it is very hard to have symptoms, it becomes a lot easier to see them as temporary when you understand their developmental nature. No matter what the symptoms, they are an intermediary step between who you had to be to get by and who you want to be to thrive.

The group then returns to some of the surprising statistics on domestic violence against men and Eric brings up some even more surprising ones. They consider what these statistics mean, but Dr. Dan highlights that the numbers show, in part, how much shame there is in talking about certain issues, since the perception is so different than the reality.

This is the perfect lead in to a follow up on Edgar’s harrowing and traumatic experience with his ex-girlfriend over 14 years ago. The group helps Edgar process what this all means for him and he shares how much thinking he has been doing about the impact of these events on him in ways he hadn’t fully considered.

Irralee’s story is all the more compelling because of how much she hated the cold and how miserable it always made her. She took her personal experience changing her symptoms and found her way to SIRPA training with Crushing Doubt friend, Georgie Oldfield, in England and now helps others recover from their mind body symptoms.

As we continue to gather personal and professional stories of recovery — especially from such a wide variety of symptoms — the evidence becomes stronger and stronger, which should help our community have less and less doubt.

You’ll get to see Diane and I build her core narrative and begin to discuss how she can utilize this emotional mantra, of sorts. From the broad, high stakes central emotional experience of her life to the specific way it impacted her, we use the information to create a goal with respect to what she can do about this enduring experience. I also help her to articulate and highlight the ways she can feel out of power in her interactions with herself, as well as exploring certain relationships with others. Finally, we explored whether the symptoms still feel in control of her or not and stated our goal of reversing that experience, as she learns to understand the flow of her emotional life into symptoms, reduces doubt, and becomes more powerful feeling in his own right.

This is the third of four meetings with Diane, so that you can see the full mind body mapping process, how it works, and why. She and I will continue to get her emotional themes articulated, polished, and honed, until she is able to understand each symptom onset or uptick through this lens, giving her the tools to disable the mind body pain process from these acute moments of suffering. We will also continue to get all of her doubts articulated, so that I can help her get answers to them to her satisfaction. Now, we add in her thinking about power in different situations, so that she is more able to make a powerful choice for herself in many different areas. Next week, we turn to the action steps for the four columns. I look forward to carrying this process forward with Diane and hope it is of value to you all to see how the process works!

But I also use a term that I discovered in working with a patient of mine and then extend it to a new one of my own. In working with a couples’ therapist, this patient was introduced to the idea that they would get better at ‘the speed of trust’. I found this to be a fascinating and accurate view that quickly pinpoints how and why people get better quickly. In this video, I review the various aspects of trust that can slow down your process, when trust is not there, or speed it up when it is. There is trust in your body, in your mind, in the process, in me, in yourselves, and more. Each element can change the speed of your getting better.

But it isn’t only trust and the columns that determine the speed, but my adaptation on this trust idea, which is that you will also get better at the speed of doubt. Apart from the doubt column itself, which determines a part of whether or not you can get better (you can!), the level of doubt you have determines the speed at which you get better. The more doubt, the slower the speed of recovery. But this is not to make you worried about doubt, so much as to show you yet another way that moment to moment thinking can give you hope: if doubt determines the speed of recovery, then that means you can always speed things up very rapidly once doubt is pinned to the ground.

In Old News (Maybe From Yesterday), Eric brings the statistical heat, as we find out what the CDC numbers say about the frequency of men as domestic victims and all three Brothers are surprised. We talk about why men shy away from talking about these topics and link it, most primarily, to a sense of shame.

This leads us directly into Edgar ‘walking the walk’, and this episode is not for the faint of heart. He relates his experience of seven years in an abusive relationship with an ex-girlfriend and we explore the societal expectations that make talking about such things feel shameful and difficult. But Edgar also reveals that this perpetuation eventually got so dangerous that she attacked him with a knife. The scene is terrifying and Eric and Dr. Dan help Edgar to recognize why he doesn’t remember those years so well and how much more processing this might take as we plan to explore it further in the next episode and beyond.

On the external track, you will continue to strive to operate at the highest functioning level possible — doing good for others, behaving well, and even going for perfection as much as you want. You’ll keep looking at nuances and taking the other perspective, etc. All good things to be doing! But, when it comes to your symptoms and your internal needs, you’ll need another place to process these things. I present: the internal track!

On the internal track, you deal with your emotional life almost entirely between you and yourself (occasionally, an external boundary is required if someone is crossing a line). Here is where all of those action steps of the mind I recommend can really take off: black and white thinking, for example, can be a place that is relatively permanent in your internal track, while you are only dipping into it on your external track. Putting the blame where it belongs can be the same, where you might put it there permanently internally, but make it not very relevant externally.

Come check out this new way of organizing your thinking so that the columns become all that more effective.

Fortunately, Freddie and his family continued to fight through and things got easier when his father got out of jail and was able to help again. But the other thing that helped Freddie, in his external life, was football. From the age of five, he showed remarkable talent and by the time he reached high school, he was the undeniable top talent on the team. He received multiple scholarship offers, but went to Florida State, where he battled through the hardship of a position change — from linebacker to fullback — and won a national title in his freshman year.

Even so, with fullback being such a limited need in the NFL, he went undrafted and had to try to catch on with the Bears, who claim they would have drafted him if they hadn’t traded away two of their picks. When he did not make the team, he thought his life was over. He suffered through suicidal ideation, returned to the streets, and was living recklessly.

Freddie’s story is still unfolding, but he has a tenacity, a drive to succeed and be the best he can be, and a belief in himself that we recognized had always been there, and this led him to begin telling his story. Through the telling of his story, he has found a new purpose in life and now inspires people around the world. We can all learn from what he has learned and I encourage you to check out his book on Amazon and many other platforms!

You’ll get to see how I take Diane’s various narratives and locate the doubt within each of them. We uncover her questions, lack of certainty, confusion, and fear. Diane and I found that her doubt is not the main active ingredient in her mind body experience, despite the fact that it is there, like in anyone else. However, she has a leg up on some in this column, because she is optimistic and open and this can lead to conquering doubts more quickly. 

This is the second of four meetings with Diane, so that you can see the full mind body mapping process, how it works, and why. She and I will continue to get her emotional themes articulated, polished, and honed, until she is able to understand each symptom onset or uptick through this lens, giving her the tools to disable the mind body pain process from these acute moments of suffering. But now we will also continue to get all of her doubts articulated, so that I can help her get answers to them to her satisfaction. I look forward to carrying this process forward with her and hope it is of value to you all to see yet another example of how the process works!

This video also helps us consider why accepting the word power has its advantages. The word is vague enough to have multiple meanings, and doesn’t have the disadvantage of being so overly specific that it would not describe all situations. In addition to leaving enough room for multiple and widespread meanings, it also is more accurate of a reflection because it sticks to the simple feeling of whether or not you feel good or not. It covers being in control, feeling confident and/or competent, feeling well liked, feeling safe, feeling like you understand what is happening, and so much more.

I also address the fact that the term power, precisely because some people do object to it, affords us a chance to open up new territory in which to get better. Now we are calling into question the things that leave us feeling afraid or under much more because of the, ahem, power of this word. But, at base, the main reason I find it to be the crucial word is because of two things: 1) It covers all of the territory necessary to address the wide range of issues, and 2) It captures the unlimited supply of power in the world, which can allow you to feel comfortable taking up your space and power in the world, knowing with full comfort that it not only doesn’t hurt anyone, but can help them do the same.

The dynamic trio then move into Old News (Maybe From Yesterday), where they discuss Simone Biles’ withdrawing from the Olympics and compare her stance on mental health to some other recent athletes and comedians of the past. Dan Prescott, Kevin Love, Dave Chappell, and Robin Williams all are discussed, but the discussion was perhaps most poignant around Robin Williams, as Eric considered what might have happened if the famed comedian had felt more comfortable talking openly about the part of himself that was suffering so much.

In Walking the Walk, Dr. Dan takes another turn, this time all to himself, and talked about the birth of his first daughter and how it crystallized a sense in him that he had really always been alone before then, having now felt the primacy of his role with his daughter. Edgar and Eric are connected, encouraging, and helpful in validating Dr. Dan’s suffering in this regard and the three note together how it changed his life and helped him evaluate the people with whom he could now build the closest bonds.

Within the power column, itself, you’re going to want to take two main actions, once your core narrative is created and some of your power column themes are outlines: 1) You’ll need to compare what is going on in the present moment to the core narrative and find action steps that bring you back into alignment with the core narrative goals; and 2) You will be assessing your level of power with respect to yourself, others, and your symptoms, and adjusting accordingly when you slip out of power.

One quick tip on the whole thing: knowing whether or not you are in power is as simple as assessing whether or not you feel good at a given moment. Once you’ve recognized when you are out of power, pinpoint what led to that feeling and then choose an action step that can address that problem.

The Child Mind Institute is at the forefront of research on mental health in children, which is incredibly significant given some of the stats Harold and I discussed here today. With 50 percent of all mental health diagnoses coming before the age of 14 and 75 recent before the age of 24, we know just how big mental well being looms for the youth of our country and across the globe.

Harold and I talked about how they have managed to speed up the process of research by not being so hung up on protecting the data for full and proper credit and, instead, launching it out in to the ether earlier to get things done faster. We also discussed some of the high profile celebrities who have joined in some of the initiatives of the organization, as well as exploring his scaffolding idea of parenting, in which a scaffold is built to support the child until they are ready to stand on their own.

It was a pleasure connecting with Harold, with all of his kindness, intelligence, and drive to help others, and our discussion gave me all kinds of ideas about how to use research to verify the results of my three columns work.

This four session consultation shows how each person can fill out their individual columns on their mind body map so that they can understand the role of emotions, doubt, and power in their chronic pain or symptoms, as well some specific action steps the sufferer can take to create their own program to get better, using my overarching system. I was so appreciative that Diane showed the bravery and openness to engage in the actual process with me so that we can bring to all of you a direct view of how the work goes and what it looks like.

In this first session, I orient her to the mind body map work and we began to develop her emotional themes, so that she can recognize the broad, high stakes, but specific experiences and feelings that can lead to the onset and uptick in symptoms. Among the themes we hit upon were the toxicity of one of her family members, feeling dismissed and under appreciated in her family, and feeling unworthy and not measuring up. We talked about how she will feel so much better and with significantly more hope once she understands the mind body experience and how it works inside and out.

This is the first of four meetings with Diane, which will allow you to see the full mind body mapping process, how it works, and why. She and I will continue to get her emotional themes articulated, polished, and honed, until she is able to understand each symptom onset or uptick through this lens, giving her the tools to disable the mind body pain process from these acute moments of suffering. I look forward to carrying this process forward with her and hope it is of value to you all to see how the process works!

The emotions column, while seeming to be solely about self awareness, is actually the place where you can turn the system on and off, depending on whether or not you are experiencing the onset or uptick in symptoms. The doubt column is meant to always be in the on position, but at a low hum, as I put it, meaning that you stay vigilant about doubt generally and turn the column up to high when combatting a specific doubt.

Lastly, the power column is the column that is always on high. There is no reason to ever switch it off because feeling powerful happens when we are feeling good and when we don’t feel good, power goes down. This is why we live in the power column — it is the column that should never be dormant or in low gear. Let’s see how this shorthand works out for you all!

After the check in, we move on to Old News (Maybe From Yesterday) and discuss Cosby being let out of jail after his conviction was overturned on a technicality. The guys discuss how hard certain topics are to even begin to explore, what this would be like for the apparent victims of the abuse, and how Cosby could possibly move forward in any way with comedy.

Next up, in Breaking the Mold, all three men deal with the aspects of typical manhood in which they do not fit well and the show focuses on how this does not change who they are as men in any way. Both serious and hilarious observations are made here.

Lastly, on Walking the Walk, Eric finally takes his turn, telling Edgar, Dr. Dan, and the audience of a time in his life — following the death of his father — when he came to the end of his ability to cope with things and knew he had to get help. We talked about the strength of this decision, as well as in sharing it with our audience.

Like it or not, through the lens of a child — and even of a baby — we are constantly measuring whether or not we are wanted. The world is full of confirmations and, unfortunately many more disconfirmations of our being wanted. As a community, we can help each other live happier lives and even prevent depression and suicide if we just remember to take the extra time, sometimes in little gestures, to make people feel included, accepted, and welcome.

The bottom line is that we can all start to feel quite powerful, in the best way possible, when we recognize the impact we can have on others. This way of thinking about things simplifies things, so that you can go the extra mile, in a relatively easy way, and make all the difference in the world to someone. Because what is more powerful than feeling that you are valid and wanted?

Andrea shares her personal and professional memories of Dr. Sarno and how his culture of mutual respect made such a difference for her and her patients. But we spent a good deal of time exploring what it was that allowed Dr. Sarno to be so able to focus on science and rational thinking so that he could see past what the rest of the medical field could not.

Andrea and I also explored the issues patients can face in rheumatology with respect to mind body experience and her tremendous expertise and wisdom that has helped countless other people. It was a pleasure connecting with Andrea and getting to relate how her chapter helped me personally as well.

Among the things we discussed was the idea of not trying to make the feelings he has go away and, instead, letting himself sink into them more. We also discussed some power column solutions, such as remembering to always be in his own journey in the world, so that he does not let others decide on his value as a person or in his choice to do comedy.

Overall, we talked about this as a process that will require further work and we both expressed happiness that we get to continue our journey together in our new show Brothers in Arms.

She highlights the unique aspects that helped her, including hearing from others in their suffering and feeling less alone as a result. She shares that things clicked for her and we noted together how this really did manage to crush doubt for her. Among the things she said she gained were a sense of simplification in the science and logic that made things very clear to her and moment to moment thinking, to help her feel empowered to change her symptoms at any time.

In their effort to ‘walk the walk’, Edgar opens up about the loss of his mother and how much it hurts him and Eric and Dr. Dan are there for him with support and well timed jokes. Dr. Dan then reveals a unique story about understanding himself in a way that he felt no one else could get and how it took him years of staying true to himself to be able to tell the story as he wanted to. Eric will get his turn in the next show and we plan to revisit the old themes, since they make us who we are.

One of the things that stands out in this show is the willingness to explore some uncomfortable emotional experiences. It is important for viewers to recognize the messiness of the process, rather than expecting a finished product where each belief is settled before we even start. That is part of the beauty of Brothers in Arms, as we find our way towards being more true to ourselves and, as such, being better, and fuller, human beings.

Foggy thinking, feeling unsafe, increased symptoms, feeling angrier or sadder than the situation seems to call for, being dissociated (meaning, not able to be fully present or present at all), emotionally numb, having slowed thinking, sometimes craving some sort of drive being satisfied (eating, sex, alcohol or other drug cravings, etc.), feeling the need to please someone or desperate for them to accept you or forgive you or text you back or respond to a message of some other kind, etc.

By knowing the things for which you need to look out to recognize trauma, you will be able to avoid the pitfalls of believing your own thoughts at such times — a key thing, because trauma related thinking can be not only skewed, but quite convincing. To use science and logic and have a clear head with which to combat doubt and fear, you will need to consider the likelihood that you are, at times, ‘in trauma’. This video can give you the guideposts to follow so you don’t fall prey to thinking that doubt can use against you.

Dr. Drew and I explore our understanding of some of the key problems of the day — from chronic pain to addictions to the homelessness situation in America — and I have rarely found someone with whom I have such a similar take. I even found a co-hater of Descartes and post modernism — two philosophical lines that have led to profound misunderstandings and a denigration of truth and objective reality.

I also got to hear about his new book with his daughter, Paulina, working to challenge the notion that talking about sex has to be awkward. Along these lines, he and I agree that we have many assumptions to challenge to bring real change to o ur country and the world and we both will keep working to shine a light on the real causes and solutions we face, including my realm of chronic pain and symptoms relief.  All is of his ventures and links to his efforts can be found on drdrew.com

We then turned to building his core narrative, taking his emotional themes and developing a sort of super theme that describes who he is and we found that this focused on his not feeling accepted or valued for who he is at heart — most notably in his family not accepting his comedy as a legitimate enough pursuit. We explored how this impacted him and what he can do about it to feel more powerful.

One of the key objectives in the power column is to recognize that it isn’t as complicated as it seems. Whether with self, others, or symptoms, feeling powerful feels good and feeling not powerful feels bad. With this information, we can pinpoint what makes us feel more powerful and take appropriate action steps.

I outline how the columns are different during an activated time of trauma, including the emotions column becoming hazier and more of a challenge with which to find success. The doubt column is also elevated at such times, but it is, in that same vein, all the more important to use well, since combatting doubt is so important for managing mind body symptoms.

Interestingly, it is the power column that affords the biggest chance to not only work as normal but to even further our deep understanding and full acceptance of our trauma. The system still works when in trauma, but you’ll need to recognize it to not fall prey to the doubt, fear, and misdirection it causes. On top of recognizing it, with a few modifications in each column, you can continue using them in very similar ways. But if it goes unrecognized, you may become convinced in the hopelessness of the mission and more. This is why recognizing trauma is of paramount importance.

This is one of the key variables in the whole experience of anger as we sort it out for ourselves: we need to get to a place where we do not need the other person for anything at that moment. Included in that, we have to get to a new understanding of the person that isn’t based on the meaning their actions would have if WE did them, because they will often be operating from a completely different set of variables.

Once you are able to settle into a new understanding, the entire experience changes and you can get focused on other parts of your experience again. In addition, when you recognize your own mission in life, you can recognize anger as a sidetracking from where you need to be.

We talked about the importance of a particular characteristic in the beloved doctor with which all at Crushing Doubt should be able to identify: certainty. On top of that, Arlene notes that being able to accept anger and rage as an emotion is key to recovery, especially if we can focus on deciding what to do with it, rather than getting stuck on judging it. I noted with Arlene one of the key variables she brought to the table in helping people as well in the form of her curiosity and capacity to keep asking questions.

Overall, we talked about the baseline idea of getting the patient to think emotionally, which then builds on itself. The information begins to do the work all by itself and we talk about why a short term therapy that is more active really helps in this process.

Edgar shares that he has begun to see a real correlation between his symptoms and his emotional life and we processed how this can bring his doubt down even further. It was exciting to see how far he has come in such a short amount of time, even without having known about mind body issues beforehand.

This is an example of what happens when the system and the mind body process just rings true to an individual -- they are able to make rapid progress in some ways and maximize the gains of the information. I look forward to seeing where he goes when we meet next week for the power column.

In the Power Column, we work to understand the central, defining characteristics of each person and their experiences and a huge part of the goal comes in accepting the fullness of the trauma we experience. Once this is accepted, sadness is now a real option, rather than grief, loss, mourning, and a sense that life is irrevocably damaged. In this way, sadness can be seen as the actual endpoint of trauma and the beginning of having sad things get processed just like any other emotion.

Because each column is well defined and has its own rules, people can use them to figure out which part of the mind body problem on which they are working. Each column also has a simple and clear set of goals.

In the end, the columns system is designed to give you the most accurate information in an organized and accessible way. While it may start off as complicated for some, as I address your questions, the system becomes not only easier but automatic with increased understanding.

We discussed how who each practitioner is informs how we work in the mind body field and how the two of them work together with their very different styles. The three of us all marveled at how short term work is providing such relief for so many people out there and that the body informs us so much about what we feel inside that we can make a huge leap forward, very quickly.

I very much enjoy talking with Rose and Tovah and putting our heads together on how to organize the healing process and to trust the body to tell us what we need to know. I found tons of common ground with these talented women, including our awareness that unleashing our personal narratives and power is so important.

We lay out some of his main emotional themes and consider what contribution to his pain they are having. Regardless, Edgar took to the process well and seemed to make an immediate leap forward in understanding his emotional pain and how it is leading to its physical expression.

As always, my role in the mind body consultation is to find out how the three columns are operating in the given sufferer and that means adjusting the system to fit the individual mind of the person with whom I’m working. Edgar is open and curious and I look forward to seeing how this develops for him and getting him much needed relief.

As she highlights, she was able to get a sense of relief from the endless search for more information and to gain confidence in an approach that made full sense to her and laid out an ongoing process in which she could thrive. On top of it all, Kimba got direct proof of getting better during the seminar meetings, as her back locked up when she stood up during day seven and we connected it to the fear she had of the seminar ending and worrying that she would not get all better from it.

What she found, through the confidence of this experience and the information in the seminars is that she felt, in her words, 80% better when we finished. She was 50% better this day we talked because, as we predicted doubt is trying to fight it’s way back in. But Kimba is onto it and I am grateful to her for sharing the gains she has made this far. The work continues, but this is a helpful indication that the right information, organized in the right system really does get people better!

One way I look through this lens is to help people recognize that being angry is often judged harshly, rather than seen as a sign of how much we care. I distinguish between bringing that anger to the external situation and simply expressing that form of empathy to the sufferer.

In the long run, we need to get more comfortable, as a society, with anger and, in addition, we have a chance to recognize how to channel this anger towards good. If you can let people know that you are angry on their behalf, they will feel better cared for and, on top of it, if you receive this kind of care from others, you’ll feel a level of empathy you hadn’t known was possible. This key skill helps conquer doubt about the legitimacy of our own suffering.

Roy and I also talked about the various types of skin conditions that tend to come from mind body experience. We explore the state of the field and medical training in relation to these ideas not being well known at all.

As always, it is important to check with a medical doctor first and Dr. Seidenberg can be another valuable resource to get you cleared of anything medical and ready to do the mind body work!

Over the last two weeks, she took my eight session seminar and says now that she has taken another several leaps forward, including a sense of real emotional peace. This is the work that we do in this community — you don’t only get the chronic symptoms to abate, but you learn about what makes you who your are, and about how to get peace with yourself that hadn’t previously been possible.

Pat shares many aspects of her experience in this interview, which even I found to be inspiring. It’s very exciting to see such progress in a short amount of time, particularly when we can have confidence it will now last, because we understand how the symptoms have been behaving and why. Understanding it all is the key and my system can help put to rest the constant sifting through too much and too little information all at the same time. Take it from Pat!

When your core narrative is in place, you will understand who you are at your essence and you’ll remember that no one else has a say in any of it. Through having that fully formed relationship with yourself, you can unlock a great power: you are on your own journey and no one else is in charge of anything!

In a sense, this is true self-empathy, because you recognize that only you CAN be fully empathic to yourself. You are the only one who knows it all and, don’t forget, it’s your body that knows and represents it best of all. Your body is never wrong about your journey!

Barbara shared her experience talking to Dr. Sarno and getting help from Dr. Andrea Leonard-Segal. She notes that these doctors helped her turn things around with one of my favorite phrases: ‘it might hurt, but it won’t harm you’. We talked about working through triggers and the way progress moves along in this ‘last stop on the train’ intervention for pain.

She and I also saw eye to eye on the power column and how society tries to make us doubt our own ability to craft a life that is exactly as we want it to be. Barbara’s story of a patient getting in touch with the fullness of their anger also resonated deeply. It was a great pleasure connecting with her and I can see why she has successfully helped so many people get better with her warmth, clear thinking, and inner strength.

Think about it: your computer can barely function for more than a day without needing to reboot, it becomes obsolete in five years, and it has literally no emotional intelligence at all. The brain, in the meantime, is managing millions of times more functions than a computer, unconscious and conscious alike.

All of this is to say that we have thousands of reasons to believe, without a doubt, that our brains are not only capable of generating mind body symptoms, but it would be strange if they couldn’t, given the functionality already being there physically and the brain having such immense power, adaptability, and functionality.

The main distinction really does come in the fact that all tissue that CAN heal, DOES heal. But there are other factors as well, such as the fact that movement related ‘injuries’ are mind body ones right from the start. Identifying and deconstructing triggers is crucial in getting better from mind body experiences that began with a true physical injury, as well.

Focus on the timeline of your recovery and you can see that the science and logic ends up pointing in the direction of mind body experience as long as you have been cleared by a medical doctor from damage to internal organs or from a full blown life or death medical issue.

We talked about the state of the mind body field and our hopes for where it will go, including what it takes to accept a mind body diagnosis. Liz specializes in the single population and the Jewish community as well. We connected over the aspects of therapy, in general, that can get brought into mind body work more fully.

Liz and I talked about the importance of getting rid of doubt in the diagnosis and in our experience, as well as how people, so frequently, become more powerful as they master their symptoms.

Barb and I recognized that a big part of what can now help her to feel better is to use power to crush doubt. By recognizing when she is out of power — with herself, her symptom, or others — she can now challenge some ways in which she can make more powerful choices and align with her true self.

As always, I am so impressed by, and grateful to, the people who share their stories on Crushing Doubt and with our community. I know we all wish Barb well in her recovery and I am pleased to see it heading in the right direction so well.

The first step in stopping nearly anything psychological comes in awareness. Knowing when you are doing it will help you be able to make different choices. Next, you need to look at why you are making those choices and challenge them where they are not necessary. Very frequently, you will find that the things into which you feel locked are not ways you have to be or things you have to do.

Self judgment is a prison of our own making and, by understanding, you can set yourself free.

Next, I turn my attention to what makes them operate the way they do so that you can understand what is happening to you in relation to them and why it goes the way it goes. It is crucial to learn to think of them by different rules than ‘normal’ people.

Lastly, I go through a set of rules of engagement, per se, with them to give some basic ideas of what to do or not do to set you up for success. But the bottom line is that they will become easier to recognize and it will be all the easier for you to not have to interact with them once you see the basics: They make you feel terrible on a regular basis and absolutely nothing you have done or any part of who you are is deserving of it.

Our time together highlights the preciousness of time and connection and the importance of knowing there is a way out, as suicide is so often a choice that comes out of feeling no way out. She shares her experience of making a suicide attempt, herself, when she was fourteen and facing the potential disappointment of her father.

One of the most remarkable things about Judy’s way of surviving her son’s suicide was her ability to reach out to others for support and finding an ability to connect to what she termed ‘the gifts of catastrophic loss’. As she has done so many times musically, she turned the experiences of her heart into something beautiful and to be treasured. I am so grateful to her for taking time with me and bearing her heart and soul on this very important issue as we work to promote suicide prevention.

You’ll get to see Barb and I build her core narrative and begin to discuss how she can utilize this emotional mantra, of sorts. From the broad, high stakes central emotional experience of her life to the specific way it impacted her, we use the information to create a goal with respect to what she can do about this enduring experience. I also help her to articulate and highlight the ways she can feel out of power in her interactions with herself, as well as exploring certain relationships with others. Finally, we note that the symptoms still feel in control of her and stated our goal of reversing that experience, as she learns to understand the flow of her emotional life into symptoms, reduce doubt, and become more powerful feeling in her own right.

This is the third of four meetings with Barb, so that you can see the full mind body mapping process, how it works, and why. She and I will continue to get her emotional themes articulated, polished, and honed, until she is able to understand each symptom onset or uptick through this lens, giving her the tools to disable the mind body pain process from these acute moments of suffering. We will also continue to get all of her doubts articulated, so that I can help her get answers to them to her satisfaction. Now, we add in her thinking about power in different situations, so that she is more able to make a powerful choice for herself in many different areas. Next week, we turn to the action steps for the four columns. I look forward to carrying this process forward with her and hope it is of value to you all to see how the process works!

In my three column system, I try to stay away from terms, or even specific wording, that other people use and focus, instead, on the basic principles and understandings we can all agree upon. If we are going to be our best scientific and logical selves, we have to forget about what we think words mean and zero in on the actual meaning underneath whatever words we might choose at a given time.

Most importantly, there is an objective reality about anything scientific and logical and we need to feel confident in that viewpoint and our ability to find the objective. Words can often obscure that if they are being interpreted so closely that they can lead to disagreements. This video explores how we can cut through words to the heart of the meaning.

Once you figure out who you are, in any given situation — or generally, more importantly — you can then make more effective decisions. This also can help you disentangle from the needs of others when they do not need to be factored into your decision or way of setting up the boundaries.

In addition to clarifying your set up in order to make boundary set up natural and easy, I distinguish between the kind of ‘self care’ that actually harms other people, whereas good boundaries don’t hurt anyone at all. Come find out how!

John shares how he got his viewpoints, including a look at his NBA days, learning from Adrian Dantley, whom he called ‘the teacher’ — a name I paired by Dantley showing John everything he needed to know about how to take care of his body and mind in the NBA. We also talked about his being an observer and this leading to his being able to make an impact on people through his understanding. Dan and John also bond over people with emotional struggles gravitating towards them both, as they understand that a different way of thinking isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We discuss how following your dreams leads to some of the biggest breakthroughs as well.

John’s successes in life come from his many gifts — including his empathy and comedic instincts — an it was a pleasure to have him on Crushing Doubt to talk about mental health and what we need to do to better address it.

You’ll get to see how I take Barb’s various narratives and locate the doubt within each of them. We uncover her questions, lack of certainty, confusion, and fear. Barb and I found that her sense of being different has many ramifications and one of them lies in her worrying that she will be too different to have a pathway to get better, even though she believes, fully, in the mind body process. 

This is the second of four meetings with Barb, so that you can see the full mind body mapping process, how it works, and why. She and I will continue to get her emotional themes articulated, polished, and honed, until she is able to understand each symptom onset or uptick through this lens, giving her the tools to disable the mind body pain process from these acute moments of suffering. But now we will also continue to get all of her doubts articulated, so that I can help her get answers to them to her satisfaction. I look forward to carrying this process forward with her and hope it is of value to you all to see yet another example of how the process works!

This video helps you consider why it has been dismissed and why this is a mistake of epic proportions, as the evidence for mind body work is right under our noses all the time. As always, I challenge the viewer to use science and logic and to not dismiss pieces of evidence in trying to discover the truth. Once we do that, placebo reactions become not only evidence of mind body experience, but direct proof.

People can be ‘a pain in the neck (or ass), someone can ‘make you sick’, you can literally get overheated when you are angry, and many, many more. Because metaphors come from actual lived experience, I point out how it strains logic to think these are just poetic statements, as opposed to revealing about what we know to be true of the mind body connection.

As you work to pin doubt to the ground and get it to relent — because it will try to creep back in at every turn — you need to have every bit of logic you can at your disposal. Pay attention to the metaphors of the body and consider why they are such an ever present part of how we talk.

We talked about each of their journeys through the mind body process, as Penny got a ‘book cure’ for her chronic fatigue, while Dan resisted the whole idea for fifteen months, until finally coming around. We also explore the ways in which each have had to think about how they want to apply what they know, finding that this is way of helping the community grow and the conversation evolve to be the most powerful and accessible for them. Dan, in fact, tried to be a TMS coach and found it to be not for him, which is a powerful reminder that there are so many ways to contribute to the effort to help people with mind body issues. In fact, as we know, finding your own power and pathway is so important. I look forward to keeping in touch with them and collaborating in our efforts to get people the right information.

In this first session, I orient her to the mind body map work and we began to develop her emotional themes, so that she can recognize the broad, high stakes, but specific experiences and feelings that can lead to the onset and uptick in symptoms. Among the themes we hit upon were not feeling she could be noticed for who she was, needing to strive for attention, feeling different in ways that made her feel bad, giving up control to other people, and more. We talked about how she will feel so much better and with significantly more hope once she understands the mind body experience and how it works inside and out.

This is the first of four meetings with Barb, so that you can see the full mind body mapping process, how it works, and why. She and I will continue to get her emotional themes articulated, polished, and honed, until she is able to understand each symptom onset or uptick through this lens, giving her the tools to disable the mind body pain process from these acute moments of suffering. I look forward to carrying this process forward with her and hope it is of value to you all to see how the process works!

This video helps you think through how to give up old dreams that either cannot be realized or aren’t even serving the function you’d want them to — making YOU happy. I discuss why these dreams are not good for us, and why they aren’t effective in getting us what we want. 

Finally, I talk about the key to happiness not being about getting what you want in external reality, but using your dreams to enact WHO YOU ARE. Related to the power column, we explore how you can use dreams to access your purpose and unlock new, powerful ways of living.