In this episode I share everything I tried in my own divorce to get holiday dates sorted, what to do when your dates are ignored, and the story of one of my clients who got a message 2 days before Easter saying "I'm taking the children". I also talk about keeping the children out of the middle, holding your boundaries, and putting Christmas, birthdays and special days into a parenting plan so there's less to argue about.

One small thing to do today: send your Christmas dates with a date you need a reply by. If you don't hear back by then, your dates are fixed.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wXhT6RsMovA

Want to work with me? Book a call or find out how I can help: https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/TW8u086QfETqunkZztiJ

If you're a woman going through this and feel alone, come and join my community: www.divorceright.co.uk/money-saving-divorce-club

In this episode I share my PAUSER method: Pause, Answer, is it Urgent, Sort, Express and Respond. I walk through a real message one of my clients got about Christmas, show you how to sort the parts that are there to upset you from the one part that needs an answer, and share the calm, short reply I would have sent.

One small thing to do today: when the next message from your ex lands, you don't need to open it straight away. Read it when you're calm, and only answer the part that needs an answer.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wsiIT25VmH8

Want to work with me? Book a call or find out how I can help: https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/TW8u086QfETqunkZztiJ

If you're a woman going through this and feel alone, come and join my community: www.divorceright.co.uk/money-saving-divorce-club

I share what scared me most when I went through my own divorce, the small vision I held on to, the six months my girls and I had nowhere to call home, and the day we got the keys to our safe space. I also share two things that helped me through the hardest days: going within, and scripting my vision for life after divorce.

One small thing to do today: write down your vision of your life after divorce, in as much detail as you can, and read it on the hard days.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/JFTGhyvQmc0

Want to work with me? Book a call or find out how I can help: https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/TW8u086QfETqunkZztiJ

If you're a woman going through this and feel alone, come and join my community: www.divorceright.co.uk/money-saving-divorce-club

In this episode I share the story of a woman who was with her partner for 18 years, gave up her job to raise their two children, and found out at the end that she wasn’t protected. I explain what you can and can’t claim when you’re not married, what the proposed change in the law could mean for you, and the small jobs you can do now, while things are still calm, that can really protect you.

In this episode:

• Her story: 18 years, two children, not married
• What the law says if you’re not married
• Children and child maintenance
• Married or not: two women, two outcomes
• The proposed change in the law
• What to do now, starting with whose name things are in
• Cohabitation agreements, wills and pensions
• The deposit nobody wrote down

Work with me: www.divorceright.co.uk/money-saving-divorce-club

I’m Bhavna Radia, a former family lawyer turned divorce coach, and I’ve been through my own divorce. Divorce Notes is for the woman who is more than her divorce.

This episode is general information about the law in England and Wales. It isn’t legal advice for your situation.

If this note helped you, please share it with someone who needs it, and follow Divorce Notes so you don’t miss the next one.

You can do so many parts of your divorce yourself, even if it ends up in court. In this episode I talk you through what you can do on your own and the few places where it’s still worth paying for help.

In this episode:

• Doing the divorce application yourself online
• Sharing financial disclosure without a solicitor, which can save you £5,000 to £6,000
• Asking questions about his finances, and when mediation can help
• Going to court on your own: position statements, speaking notes and what family court is really like
• The parts where I’d always pay for help, like the financial consent order, pensions advice and a business valuation
• The client whose ex had a solicitor, and how she still got the orders she wanted

None of the women I talk about did it completely on their own, and you don’t have to either.

If you’d like to do most of your divorce yourself with guidance and step-by-step action plans, come and join my Money Saving Divorce Club: www.divorceright.co.uk/money-saving-divorce-club

This episode covers the law in England and Wales.

If this note helped you, please share it with someone who needs it, and follow Divorce Notes so you don’t miss the next one.

In this note I give you my honest answer. I'm a former family lawyer who has been through her own divorce, and I've seen what fighting costs, in money, in time and in what it does to the children. So yes, amicable is a good thing. But it depends on what amicable means to him and what it means to you.

I share what one client was ready to walk away with after twenty years, what happened the moment she started asking questions, and the one thing "let's keep it amicable" can sometimes mean that you need to notice.

Press play, and then come and find me.

Free marital pot checklist: https://divorceright.co.uk/marital-pot-checklist

Join the Money Saving Divorce Club: https://www.divorceright.co.uk/money-saving-divorce-club

Work with me 1:1: https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/TW8u086QfETqunkZztiJ

I hear this all the time, from your ex, from family and friends, from what you read online, and it's rarely looked at in detail. In this note I tell you what the law in England and Wales actually says about equal sharing, as a former family lawyer who has been through her own divorce.

I go through what counts as your marital pot, including the things you may have been told are his, and the factors that decide what's fair for you and your children. And there's one thing I'd ask you not to do before you know what there is.

Press play, and if you know someone who would find this useful, I would love it if you could share it with her.

Download a free pdf checklist to help you work out what is in your marital pot on the link here divorceright.co.uk/marital-pot-checklist

Find out about working with me, in my membership or 1:1 at www.divorceright.co.uk

In this first note I talk about the difference between deciding from logic and deciding from fear or emotion, and why that matters so much when your world is completely upside down. I'm a former family lawyer, and I still couldn't see my own situation straight when my marriage ended.

I tell you about the family home I fought with every part of me to keep, the fight I had with myself and with everyone around me, and the one question I wish I'd asked much sooner.

Press play, and if you've got a big decision coming up, listen before you make it.

Work with me: Membership and 1:1 Help

This is episode one of Divorce Notes, and it's called The Courage to Start. It's dedicated to my mum, seven years to the day since she passed, and in it I share what she told me before she died, and what I'd tell the woman I was back when I knew my marriage was over but couldn't say the words. As a former family lawyer who has been through her own divorce, I know how long you can keep putting it off, and how many excuses there are.

I talk about the fears that kept me stuck, what people would think, the children, money, being on my own, and the one question I'd now put to every one of them. I also tell you about the day I told my mum, how scared I was, what she said, and what happened later that same day. Fifteen years on from my separation, I'll tell you how those fears actually played out, and the small thing I'd ask you to do today.

Press play, and if you know someone who needs this note, please share it with her. Follow Divorce Notes so you don't miss the next one, and if you want help to manage your own divorce, you can find out about my membership and 1:1 work at www.divorceright.co.uk

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bhavna.radia/

Find the video version on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@Bhavnaradia

Divorce Notes is a podcast for women who are thinking about divorce, are in the middle of it, or are starting to rebuild. I’m Bhavna Radia, a former family lawyer turned divorce coach, and I went through my own divorce knowing the law and still found it frightening. Each episode explains your rights in England and Wales, the money side of divorce and the questions that come up with children and an ex, in plain English, along with one small step you can take that day.

Expect short solo episodes you can fit around the school run or a sleepless night, with guest episodes to follow. New episodes three times a week.