Doing Divorce Different with Lesa Koski

https://collaborativedivorcecalifornia.com/dwrw/

Tags/Keywords:

anxiety healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, divorce recovery, emotional healing, stress management, midlife women, co-parenting stress, functional medicine, anxiety help, nervous system coach, healing after divorce

Trauma Healing After Abuse: Hope, Nervous System Recovery, and Practical Tools for Healing | Dr. Dawn Marie Part 2

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Trauma healing, nervous system regulation, and hope after abuse are possible — even after unimaginable pain. In this powerful Part 2 conversation, Lesa Koski talks with Dr. Dawn Marie about trauma healing, childhood abuse, vagus nerve regulation, polyvagal theory, and practical tools that can support healing after trauma, divorce, and emotional overwhelm.

If you’ve ever wondered whether trauma healing is truly possible after years of pain, this episode offers both hope and practical next steps. Dr. Dawn Marie shares her personal story of surviving profound childhood abuse, explains how trauma affects the body and nervous system, and offers simple ways listeners can begin supporting trauma healing in their own daily lives.

This episode is especially meaningful for women navigating divorce, childhood trauma, emotional stress, or any season that has left them feeling stuck in survival mode. Trauma healing is possible, and this conversation is a reminder that even after the hardest experiences, hope remains.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to Part 2 and why trauma matters in divorce healing

(02:10) Dr. Dawn Marie begins sharing her childhood trauma story

(06:45) Abuse, early memories, and how trauma lives in the body

(12:20) Revisiting places from the past and uncovering memory

(18:15) Shame, perpetrators, and beginning the healing journey

(26:30) Why trauma is trauma and why it is time to break the cycle

(30:40) A spiritual discussion on women, Eve, and responsibility

(41:20) What healing really looks like after severe trauma

(44:10) Why bad days do not mean you are broken

(46:05) Polyvagal theory and understanding the vagus nerve

(48:30) Grounding techniques and simple tools for nervous system regulation

(51:15) African drumming, weighted hula hoop, and rhythmic healing practices

(55:00) Final encouragement and hope for women healing from trauma

Key Takeaways:

Trauma healing is possible, even after severe childhood abuse and long-term pain
Healing is not linear, and setbacks do not mean you are broken
Trauma affects both the body and the nervous system, not just thoughts and emotions
Grounding exercises and vagus nerve regulation can support healing in daily life
Hope grows when people begin to believe their story is not over

Guest Bio:

Dr. Dawn Marie is a board-certified psychiatrist with decades of medical experience and a deep focus on trauma healing, nervous system regulation, and emotional recovery. Through both her professional work and her own healing journey, she helps people understand that healing is possible, even after profound trauma.

Resource Links:

Part 1 with Dr. Dawn Marie: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/1cfa0fc7-1d7d-4d31-a9b0-b47aac4a11dc/

Website and Social Media links: https://www.drrisleychilds.com/

to awaken your vagus nerve: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3VuPpgmSPwk7cErnqrNhCH?si=a3824002e9774659

To calm your vagus nerve: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3YC0zMSeGQRqg4XmscoyCG?si=d1b93c15519f4ecc

African Drums: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z2d4y9MXXjQQiYC8c46Fk?si=10b08e8109634214

Amazon weighted hula hoop: https://a.co/d/06DXlzwC

Tags/Keywords:

trauma healing, childhood trauma recovery, nervous system healing, vagus nerve regulation, polyvagal theory, abuse recovery, healing after trauma, divorce and trauma, women healing after divorce, emotional healing podcast, trauma recovery podcast, hope after abuse, Doing Divorce Different podcast, mental health and healing

How Trauma Lives in the Body — And How Midlife Women Can Heal | Trauma Recovery with Psychiatrist Dr. Risley Childs

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and emotional healing for midlife women are possible at any age. In this powerful conversation, psychiatrist Dr. Risley Childs explains how trauma lives in the body, affects high-achieving women, and how trauma recovery and nervous system healing can begin even decades later.

Many midlife women live in chronic fight-or-flight without realizing trauma recovery is needed. Dr. Childs shares how trauma recovery works, how trauma affects the nervous system, and why trauma recovery is possible regardless of your past.

If you’ve experienced divorce, emotional stress, burnout, or chronic anxiety, this episode will help you understand trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and how to begin healing your trauma safely.

This episode offers hope, science, and practical understanding for trauma recovery and midlife healing.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to trauma recovery and midlife healing

(02:15) Dr. Childs’ medical background and journey into psychiatry

(05:32) How trauma affects high-achieving women

(09:10) Fight-or-flight and nervous system dysregulation explained

(13:40) How childhood environments shape adult behavior

(18:20) Why trauma lives in the body, not just the mind

(23:10) The vagus nerve and nervous system healing

(28:45) Healing trauma later in life — why it’s not too late

(34:10) Rest, healing, and breaking hyper-achievement patterns

Key Takeaways:

• Trauma often shows up as achievement, people-pleasing, and chronic stress

• Trauma lives in the nervous system and body, not just the mind

• Fight-or-flight states can persist for decades without awareness

• Healing trauma is possible at any age, including midlife

• Rest and nervous system regulation are critical components of healing

Guest Bio:

Dr. Risley Childs is a board-certified psychiatrist with over 30 years of clinical experience. She specializes in trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and helping high-achieving women understand and heal from the long-term effects of trauma.

Resource Links:

Website and Social Media links: https://www.drrisleychilds.com/

to awaken your vagus nerve: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3VuPpgmSPwk7cErnqrNhCH?si=a3824002e9774659

To calm your vagus nerve: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3YC0zMSeGQRqg4XmscoyCG?si=d1b93c15519f4ecc

African Drums: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5z2d4y9MXXjQQiYC8c46Fk?si=10b08e8109634214

Amazon weighted hula hoop: https://a.co/d/06DXlzwC

Tags/Keywords:

trauma recovery, nervous system healing, midlife healing, emotional trauma healing, trauma and nervous system, trauma recovery podcast, women over 40 healing, trauma therapy, divorce trauma healing, fight or flight healing, emotional recovery midlife, psychiatrist interview trauma, Doing Life Different podcast, trauma recovery women

Amicable Divorce & Real Support: How the National Association for Single & Divorced Families Is Changing Divorce Recovery

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Amicable divorce, divorce recovery, and real support for single parents — this episode explores how to navigate divorce with dignity and community.

In this powerful conversation on Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with Joy Reed, co-founder of the National Association for Single & Divorced Families (NASDF), to discuss what an amicable divorce really looks like — and why divorce recovery requires more than just legal paperwork.

Joy shares her deeply personal story of navigating an amicable divorce, the unexpected grief that followed, and how that journey led her to help build the National Association for Single & Divorced Families. Together, they explore how divorce can be handled with respect, how identity shifts after separation, and why community support is essential during divorce recovery.

This episode dives into:

What makes an amicable divorce possible
The grief of divorce (even when it’s peaceful)
Divorce identity loss and rebuilding
Resources for single parents and divorced families
Why divorce recovery needs financial, mental health, and childcare support

If you’re navigating divorce, considering divorce, or supporting someone through divorce recovery, this conversation will remind you that divorce doesn’t have to be a war — and you don’t have to do it alone.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to amicable divorce and today’s guest

(03:12) Joy’s story of an amicable divorce and staying connected

(08:45) The grief of divorce — identity loss and emotional waves

(14:20) Divorce recovery and losing your “role” in marriage

(19:05) The founding of the National Association for Single & Divorced Families

(24:40) The lack of divorce support resources beyond lawyers

(29:15) Mediation vs. litigation and accessible divorce options

(34:50) Financial strain of divorce and support for single parents

(40:10) Building a national support network for divorced families

(46:05) Why community is essential during divorce recovery

(49:20) Final thoughts on service, dignity, and doing divorce differently

Key Takeaways:

Divorce can be amicable — but grief still comes in waves.
Identity loss is one of the hardest parts of divorce recovery.
Accessible mediation and resources reduce long-term emotional damage.
Single parents and divorced families need financial, mental health, and childcare support.
Community and service are powerful tools for healing after divorce.

Guest Bio:

Joy Reed is the co-founder of the National Association for Single & Divorced Families (NASDF), a national organization dedicated to supporting single parents and families navigating divorce recovery. With a passion for service and community impact, Joy helps connect divorced and single families with resources including mediation access, financial guidance, childcare support, and mental health services. Her mission is to make divorce recovery more accessible, less isolating, and more dignified for families nationwide.

Resource Links:

National Association for Single & Divorced Families (NASDF): https://www.nasdf.org/about

Learn more about Doing Divorce Different:

https://lesakoski.com

Tags/Keywords:

amicable divorce, divorce recovery, National Association for Single and Divorced Families, NASDF, divorce support, single parent resources, mediation vs litigation, divorce grief, co-parenting after divorce, divorce identity loss, healthy divorce, divorce podcast, doing divorce different, divorce without fighting, divorce community support, single mom resources, single dad resources, divorce advice, peaceful divorce

Collaborative Divorce Explained: A Better Way to Divorce with Respect (Minnesota) | Divorce With Respect Week

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Collaborative divorce offers a respectful, structured alternative to litigation for couples who want to avoid court battles and create agreements that protect children and finances. In this episode, Lesa Koski sits down with Minnesota collaborative professionals Jana Hefty and Michelle Leason to explain how collaborative divorce works, who it’s best for, and why collaborative divorce can save time, reduce conflict, and support healthier co-parenting.

You’ll learn the key differences between collaborative divorce vs mediation vs litigation, how financial neutrals help organize assets and cashflow planning, and what happens if the collaborative divorce process doesn’t work. This conversation is especially helpful for parents considering divorce who want a better way to divorce with respect.

Divorce doesn’t have to be a fight. Collaborative divorce can be a better way.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome + why divorce doesn’t have to be a fight

(01:30) Introducing Jana Hefty and Michelle Leason

(03:15) Jana’s path to law + staying calm in crisis

(06:45) Michelle’s background as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and mediator

(10:10) What collaborative divorce is and how it works

(13:40) The collaborative divorce team: attorneys, financial neutral, child specialist

(17:10) Why finances feel scary and how to create clarity early

(21:30) What happens if collaborative divorce doesn’t work

(25:10) Cost and timeline: collaborative divorce vs litigation

(28:30) Divorce With Respect Week (March 1–8) + how to find resources

(30:10) Closing thoughts + next steps

Key Takeaways:

• Collaborative divorce helps couples avoid court and make decisions together

• A team approach supports finances, parenting plans, and communication

• Financial neutrals reduce duplicated work and improve clarity

• Collaborative divorce can be less expensive and faster than litigation

• If collaborative fails, agreements can still be used—progress isn’t lost

Guest Bio:

Jana Hefty is a Minnesota collaborative family law attorney who helps couples navigate divorce with respect, structure, and reduced conflict.

Michelle Liesen is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and Minnesota-qualified mediator. She founded Divorce Smart and helps couples understand assets, budgeting, and post-divorce financial planning.

Resource Links:

https://collaborativelaw.org/

https://www.mydivorcesmart.com/

Why Joy Is Essential for Healing and Reinvention | Finding Laughter in Midlife

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Finding joy in midlife can feel impossible during stress, divorce, or reinvention — but joy and laughter are powerful tools for healing, nervous system regulation, and resilience. In this Saddle Up segment, Lesa Koski shares why joy is essential for healing, how laughter resets the nervous system, and how finding joy can transform your midlife experience.

If you’ve been white-knuckling your way through life, this episode will help you understand why joy is essential for healing and why laughter may be one of the most important tools for emotional wellness. Lesa shares personal stories, practical ways to add joy into daily life, and insights from her recent conversation with Rabbi Bob Alper.

You’ll learn how joy supports nervous system health, reduces stress, and creates space for reinvention. This episode is especially powerful for women navigating midlife transitions, divorce recovery, and personal reinvention.

Joy is essential for healing. And sometimes, it begins with laughter.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to this week’s Saddle Up segment

(01:10) Why joy becomes essential during midlife transitions

(02:35) The powerful story shared by Rabbi Bob Alper

(04:20) How laughter resets the nervous system

(06:10) Lesa’s personal journey from white-knuckling to finding joy

(08:05) Simple ways to intentionally add joy into daily life

(10:15) Why joy improves stress, health, and emotional resilience

(12:05) Encouragement for listeners navigating heavy seasons

Key Takeaways:

• Joy helps regulate the nervous system and reduce chronic stress

• Laughter provides emotional relief even during difficult circumstances

• Midlife reinvention requires emotional lightness, not just discipline

• Small intentional moments of joy can significantly improve well-being

• White-knuckling life increases stress, while joy supports healing

Find Joy After 40: Humor, Purpose & Second Acts with Rabbi Bob Alper (Standup Comedian Rabbi)

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Finding joy after 40 starts with humor, purpose, and the courage to pursue a second act. In this uplifting episode, Lesa sits down with Rabbi Bob Alper—standup comedian, author, and widely loved “rabbi with a punchline”—to talk about finding joy after 40, chasing your calling, and using humor to heal.

Bob shares how he went from decades in the pulpit to a full-time comedy career, what kept him going through the bad nights, and why laughter isn’t just entertainment—it has a meaningful, even “holy” purpose. You’ll hear powerful stories about humor helping people through grief, cancer, and hard seasons, plus a behind-the-scenes look at Bob’s viral “funny driver’s license” that has brightened strangers’ days for years.

If you’re craving joy, longing for a second act, or learning how to stop white-knuckling life and start enjoying it—this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction: finding joy, second acts, and why humor matters

(02:10) Rabbi Bob’s take: humor has a “holy purpose”

(05:10) Lesa’s personal shift: missing fun and joy while “white-knuckling” life

(07:05) When Bob knew his calling was shifting

(09:30) The Jewish Comic of the Year contest that changed everything

(12:20) Why standup is different: instant validation and connection

(14:45) The moment a dying woman said: “For an hour and a half, I forgot I was sick”

(17:10) Bad nights, polite applause, and why grit matters

(20:05) Bob’s “funny driver’s license” and the mission behind it

(25:30) TSA and rental car stories: joy in everyday encounters

(29:20) Keeping humor wholesome: never at someone else’s expense

(33:10) The joke Bob removed forever—and why

(36:40) Bob’s books: Life Doesn’t Get Better Than This and Thanks, I Needed That

(40:20) A powerful story from the book: “Then I held you”

(45:10) Writing, rejection, and why publishing builds resilience

(50:00) Where to find Bob and his work + closing reflections on joy

Key Takeaways:

Humor isn’t “extra”—it can be a meaningful tool for healing and connection
A second act can start by following what energizes you and what people respond to
Grit is required: failure is part of finding your voice and refining your craft
Wholesome laughter matters—true humor shouldn’t come at someone else’s expense
Joy can be intentionally practiced through everyday moments, not just big life changes

Guest Bio:

Rabbi Bob Alper is a standup comedian, author, and former congregational rabbi who transitioned into comedy full-time after decades of using humor as a tool for connection and teaching. He has performed across the U.S. and internationally, including faith-based events for diverse audiences. Bob is the author of Life Doesn’t Get Better Than This and Thanks, I Needed That: And Other Stories of the Spirit, sharing poignant, heartfelt stories about meaning, laughter, and the human experience.

Resource Links:

Website and Social Media links:

http://www.bobalper.com/

http://www.facebook.com/thatfunnyrabbi

http://www.instagram.com/bobalper/

http://www.tiktok.com/@comedian1818

http://www.youtube.com/@bobalper1

x.com/bob_alper?s=09

http://www.linkedin.com/in/bobalper/

Divorce, Mortgages & the Marital Home: What Every Woman Must Know Before Keeping the House

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Divorce, mortgages, and the marital home can become one of the most costly mistakes women make after divorce. In this episode, divorce mediator Lesa Koski is joined by mortgage expert Tami Wollensak to break down what really happens when you try to keep the house after divorce—and why so many women regret the decision later.

Divorce mortgages and keeping the marital home after divorce can derail your financial future. Learn what most women are never told before signing.

Tami shares her own divorce story, the hard lessons she learned by keeping the marital home, and why emotional decisions around housing often lead to long-term financial stress. Together, Lesa and Tami unpack mortgage assumptions, interest rates, lender timelines, hidden costs, and why divorce agreements don’t bind banks.

If you’re divorcing—or advising someone who is—this episode will help you avoid common traps, ask smarter questions, and create a Plan B that protects your future.

This is an essential listen for women navigating divorce, post-divorce decisions, and housing uncertainty.

⏱️ Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction & why this is Lesa’s return to divorce work

(04:30) Tami’s divorce story and the mistake of keeping the marital home

(09:15) Why keeping the house feels safe—but often isn’t

(14:20) Mortgage assumptions explained in plain English

(19:40) Why lenders are not bound by divorce decrees

(24:10) The hidden costs and timelines of mortgage assumptions

(30:00) How HELOCs can completely derail an assumption

(36:30) Why attorneys and mediators must plan beyond the paperwork

(41:15) The importance of Plan B when the house doesn’t sell

(47:00) Today’s mortgage rates and why the market is different now

(52:40) Post-divorce fallout and why issues resurface years later

(58:00) Empowerment, hope, and making informed decisions during divorce

(01:02:30) Final advice for women navigating divorce and home decisions

✅ Key Takeaways

Keeping the marital home after divorce often creates financial strain, not stability
Mortgage assumptions are complex, slow, and frequently denied
Divorce agreements do not bind lenders or banks
HELOCs and hidden liabilities can make mortgage assumptions impossible
Having a Plan B is critical to avoiding post-divorce litigation and stress

👤 Guest Bio

Tami Wollensak is a mortgage consultant who specializes in working with women navigating divorce and major life transitions. Having lived through divorce herself, Tammy brings both technical expertise and deep empathy to her work. She helps clients understand mortgage options, assumptions, refinancing risks, and long-term financial consequences so they can make informed decisions—not emotional ones—during divorce.

🔗 Resource Links

Connect with Tammy Woolens: https://www.tamiwollensak.com/
Divorce Mediation & Coaching with Lesa Koski: https://www.lesakoski.com/
Related episode: Divorce Planning & Financial Clarity After 40

🏷️ Tags / Keywords

divorce mortgage, keeping the marital home after divorce, divorce and housing decisions, mortgage assumption divorce, divorce financial mistakes, women and divorce finances, divorce mediation, post divorce planning, refinancing after divorce, divorce real estate issues, divorce podcast for women, doing divorce different

How to Calm Anxiety Fast During Divorce: Nervous System Reset Tools (with DNA Expert Elaine “Lane” Kennedy)

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Divorce stress, anxiety relief, nervous system regulation—this episode shares practical tools to calm anxiety fast during divorce for women over 40. If divorce stress has you spinning out, this conversation will help you regulate your nervous system, calm anxiety fast, and find clarity in the moment. Host Lesa Koski welcomes DNA nutritionist and mindfulness teacher Elaine “Lane” Kennedy to talk nervous system regulation, stress management, and how lifestyle habits influence gene expression. You’ll learn what to do when self-coaching feels impossible, why movement can help more than journaling in traumatic moments, and how support and community help you navigate divorce stress with more calm and confidence. If you’re a woman over 40 navigating divorce, anxiety, and overwhelm, this episode offers real tools and hope—because midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s your comeback.

Timestamps (in parentheses):

(Note: Adjust to match your final edit timecodes.)

(00:00) Welcome + why this episode matters for divorce stress and anxiety
(02:10) Meet Elaine “Lane” Kennedy: DNA nutritionist + mindfulness teacher
(06:00) The “white truck” moment: how stress shows up before we notice
(11:20) Why “pause” is the first step in nervous system regulation
(16:10) When “feeling your feelings” is too much: what to do instead
(19:45) Move your body to calm anxiety fast: shaking, walking, getting outside
(24:30) Why trauma shouldn’t be handled alone: community and co-regulation
(30:10) Protecting your peace when a partner is dysregulated
(36:40) DNA testing + gene expression: why one-size-fits-all wellness advice fails
(44:20) Alcohol, anxiety, and stress: why it often makes things worse
(49:10) The missing piece: fun, joy, and nervous system healing in midlife
(55:30) Closing encouragement + how to connect with Lane

Key Takeaways:

Pause first: nervous system regulation creates clarity when divorce stress is high.
Move before you process: in traumatic moments, movement can calm anxiety faster than journaling.
Co-regulation matters: hard seasons feel lighter when you’re supported by safe people.
Protect your peace: you are not responsible for regulating your partner’s emotions.
Personalized wellness wins: DNA-informed lifestyle changes can support long-term health and resilience.

Guest Bio:

Elaine “Lane” Kennedy is a California-based DNA nutritionist and mindfulness teacher who helps people reduce stress, regulate the nervous system, and support health through personalized lifestyle strategies. With a background in mindfulness practices and DNA-based wellness education, Lane teaches practical tools to build capacity, calm anxiety, and create sustainable habits that support whole-body resilience.

Resource Links:

Website and Social Media links:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/lanekennedy

https://www.facebook.com/lanekennedycoach

https://www.instagram.com/lane_kennedy_

https://www.youtube.com/lanekennedy-levy

Tags/Keywords:

divorce stress, calm anxiety fast, nervous system regulation, divorce recovery, women over 40 divorce, stress management tools, mindfulness for anxiety, co-regulation, emotional resilience, divorce mindset, DNA nutritionist, gene expression lifestyle, midlife reinvention, divorce podcast, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski, anxiety relief techniques, trauma support, yoga nidra, wellness misinformation

The 3 Things You Must Know Before You Divorce (From a Divorce Mediator)

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Divorce mediation can save you time, money, and emotional stress. Learn how divorce mediation works, why mediation matters, and how to divorce with dignity and peace.

If you’re facing divorce, this episode walks you through exactly why divorce mediation may be the smartest first step you take. As an attorney, mediator, and life coach, Lesa shares how divorce mediation helps couples avoid court battles, reduce legal costs, and protect their kids while keeping their dignity intact.

You’ll learn the 3 powerful reasons divorce mediation works better than litigation — plus the 3 big decisions you should make before filing paperwork so you feel prepared instead of overwhelmed.

This is real, compassionate guidance for women and families who want to do divorce differently — calmer, smarter, and with less damage.

Because midlife isn’t your crisis… it’s your comeback.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome + why divorce feels so heavy

(02:10) Why Lesa returned to mediation after stepping away

(04:05) What a divorce mediator actually does (and how it’s different from attorneys)

(06:30) Reason #1: Mediation saves time

(08:12) Reason #2: Mediation saves money

(09:45) Reason #3: Mediation protects your peace and dignity

(12:20) The 3 decisions to make before starting divorce

(13:00) Dividing assets: homes, 401(k)s, pensions explained

(18:40) Maintenance/spousal support basics

(22:15) Child support + parenting plans

(25:30) Why mediation is critical for co-parenting

(28:10) Parenting plan course + free masterclass

(30:00) Encouragement for high-conflict or difficult co-parenting situations

(32:20) Final thoughts: doing divorce with dignity + where to get help

Key Takeaways:

• Divorce mediation helps you avoid costly court battles

• You can save thousands of dollars by reaching agreements together

• Calm communication leads to better long-term co-parenting

• Decide finances, income/maintenance, and parenting plans early

• Divorce doesn’t have to be a war — it can be handled with dignity

Guest Bio:

Lesa Koski is an attorney, divorce mediator, life coach, and host of Doing Divorce Different. With decades of legal and mediation experience, she helps women and families navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and compassion. Her mission is simple: help people protect their peace, their finances, and their kids while creating a healthier next chapter.

Resource Links:

🌿 Work with Lesa (mediation + coaching): https://lesakoski.com

Tags/Keywords:

divorce mediation, divorce help, divorce process, divorce support for women, co parenting tips, mediation vs divorce lawyer, peaceful divorce, divorce coaching, family mediation, child custody help, midlife transitions, women over 40 divorce, divorce advice, divorce podcast, how to divorce peacefully

Core Wounds Healing: Stop People-Pleasing & Rewire Your Patterns (Divorce & Beyond)

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Core wounds healing + nervous system rewiring for women over 40. In this episode, JJ Flizanes joins Lesa Koski to unpack core wounds healing, the “core wound map,” and how your subconscious beliefs shape people-pleasing, abandonment fears, and everyday triggers. You’ll learn why core wounds healing isn’t just awareness—it’s rewiring, stretching past comfort zones, and building new neural pathways. JJ shares how core wounds healing can change your patterns in real time, and why choosing yourself is the pathway out of abandonment loops. Plus, a powerful look at 2026’s “Year of the Fire Horse” energy—movement, action, and expansion after a season of shedding.

If you’re navigating midlife change, divorce recovery, emotional healing, or you’re ready to stop spiraling and start choosing you, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

Timestamps (in parentheses):

(These are listener-friendly timestamps—adjust to match your final audio.)

(00:00) Welcome + why JJ is a “big deal” and where to find her work

(02:10) Lesa’s healing journey + why the Core Wounds course mattered

(05:10) JJ explains core wounds as subconscious beliefs (and why therapy can stall)

(10:40) The “core wound map” + why people process differently (moon signs + patterns)

(16:30) Why awareness isn’t always enough: rewiring requires stretching

(20:30) The “video that made her cry” example + how the brain flags “unsafe”

(24:40) Neuroplasticity story: cats in an RV + how the brain learns “I didn’t die”

(28:40) Lesa gets real: people-pleasing, overexplaining, and tiny daily triggers

(33:10) Abandonment wound: the belief underneath it + “How do you abandon yourself?”

(38:15) “Choose you” homework: one daily small step + one bigger weekly stretch

(42:30) Healing in relationship vs healing alone + the power of mirroring

(47:10) Tribe + community: why group energy accelerates growth

(50:25) 2025 shedding → 2026 Year of the Fire Horse begins Feb 17, 2026

(55:10) How to work with JJ + her application link + closing

Key Takeaways:

Core wounds are subconscious beliefs that shape how you see yourself and relationships—often without you realizing it.
Awareness is step one, but rewiring requires action that stretches your comfort zone and builds new neural pathways.
People-pleasing and overexplaining can be signs of an abandonment pattern—your nervous system trying to stay “safe.”
Healing isn’t just emotional; it’s nervous-system and behavior change, practiced moment-to-moment and proactively.
Community matters: being in a tribe of people on a similar growth path keeps your “coal” warm and your progress moving.

Guest Bio:

JJ Flizanes is a personal development coach, podcast host, and creator of emotional healing programs focused on identifying and rewiring subconscious patterns. She developed the Core Wound Map, expanding on the core wound exercise from Imago therapy, and continues to teach tools for emotional resilience, nervous system awareness, and practical rewiring strategies.

Resource Links:

E: moyowellnesstherapy@gmail.com

Tags/Keywords:

core wounds healing, core wound map, emotional healing, nervous system regulation, neuroplasticity, abandonment wound, people pleasing, overexplaining, subconscious beliefs, Imago therapy, relationship patterns, trauma healing tools, mindset coaching, midlife healing, women over 40, self worth, choosing yourself, boundaries, emotional resilience, JJ Flizanes, Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski, year of the fire horse 2026

Choosing Yourself After Trauma: Healing Childhood Loss, Miscarriage & Generational Pain with Life Coach Vivian Moyo

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Healing from trauma, childhood grief, miscarriage, and generational pain starts with one step: choosing yourself. In this powerful episode of Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski talks with life coach Vivian Moyo about healing trauma, the impact of losing a parent young, how silence in families creates emotional wounds, and how choosing yourself becomes an act of self-love. Vivian shares her story of childhood loss, two devastating miscarriages, and the moment she began her healing journey. If you’re navigating midlife trauma, divorce recovery, grief, anxiety, or a major life change, this conversation will help you feel seen, supported, and hopeful.

In this episode, we talk about trauma healing, generational trauma, grief recovery, and how to choose yourself when life feels heavy. Vivian’s message is a reminder that healing is possible—and midlife is not your crisis, it’s your comeback.

🎧 Listen now and share this with a woman who needs encouragement today.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome + technical difficulties + introducing life coach Vivian Moyo

(02:10) Vivian’s background: born in Zimbabwe, now living in London

(04:20) Losing her mother at age three and having no memory of her

(07:10) The trauma of family silence and not knowing how her mother died

(10:35) Why children need truth, support, and emotional safety

(13:50) Generational trauma and how pain gets passed down

(16:30) Moving to the UK at 11 and feeling different within the family

(20:05) Miscarriage and heartbreak: losing her first pregnancy at five months

(22:45) Losing a second pregnancy at five months and reaching a breaking point

(25:30) Suicidal thoughts and the “still voice” that changed everything

(28:10) Vivian’s calling: helping young girls build confidence and self-worth

(31:10) Supporting women through domestic abuse and trauma recovery

(33:45) Vivian’s upcoming book: The Invisible Girl (launching in June)

(36:10) One powerful tip for self-love: “Choose yourself”

(38:05) Final encouragement + how to connect with Vivian

Key Takeaways:

Trauma can start early, and silence often deepens the wound
Generational trauma is real, but healing can break the cycle
Grief and miscarriage loss can create deep emotional pain, but recovery is possible
Healing often begins when we choose support, truth, and self-compassion
“Choosing yourself” is one of the strongest acts of self-love and boundary-setting

Guest Bio:

Vivian Moyo is a London-based life coach, speaker, and founder of women-focused healing initiatives supporting survivors of trauma and domestic abuse. Born in Zimbabwe, Vivian has transformed her personal journey of loss and resilience into a mission to help women heal, build confidence, and reclaim their lives. She is the author of the upcoming book The Invisible Girl, launching in June.

Resource Links:

Vivian:

Youtube Channel : https://www.youtube.com/@MoyoWellnessTherapy

TikTok : www.tiktok.com/@moyowellnesstherapypods

Instagram : @moyowellnesstherapy

Website : https://moyowellnesstherapy.com/

Tags/Keywords:

trauma healing, childhood trauma, generational trauma, miscarriage healing, grief recovery, healing after loss, women’s healing, midlife healing, choosing yourself, self love for women, emotional healing, boundary setting, domestic abuse recovery, life coach for women, healing journey, divorce recovery, midlife comeback, Doing Life Different podcast, Lesa Koski, Vivian Moyo, anxiety healing, faith and healing, healing in midlife

Perimenopause Symptoms Explained: Menopause, Mood, Cholesterol & the New Rules of Women’s Health

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Perimenopause symptoms can feel confusing—mood swings, brain fog, weight gain, sleep issues, and even cholesterol changes. In this episode, Lesa Koski talks with women’s health journalist and author Meghan Rabbitt about perimenopause vs. menopause, the most common perimenopause symptoms, what’s “normal,” and what deserves a doctor visit. You’ll learn how to track symptoms, ask better questions, and advocate for yourself during the menopause transition. If you’re navigating perimenopause symptoms in midlife, this conversation will help you feel informed, empowered, and supported.

(Primary keyword used 3–5x: perimenopause symptoms)

Timestamps (in parentheses):

(00:00) Welcome + why women’s health needs new rules

(02:10) Meghan’s story: writing on women’s health and Maria Shriver’s invitation LinkedIn

(06:15) “We are not small men” and what that means for care

(10:05) Perimenopause vs. menopause: definitions and the 12-month rule

(14:40) Tracking cycles + when bleeding after a year matters

(18:30) Perimenopause symptoms you might not connect to hormones

(25:10) Mood changes, anxiety, rage, and brain fog

(30:55) Vaginal/urinary symptoms and why women should talk about them

(36:45) Cholesterol, heart health, and menopause-related risk shifts

(42:25) Hormone therapy: what we know now vs. what we feared

(49:10) Lifestyle tools that truly help (sleep, stress, strength training)

(56:00) The “doctor visit” strategy: list symptoms and prioritize

(59:30) Book recap + closing encouragement

Key Takeaways:

Perimenopause symptoms can include mood changes, brain fog, joint pain, skin changes, and cholesterol shifts—not just hot flashes.

You’re not in menopause until you’ve gone 12 full months without a period.

Track symptoms and cycles so you can advocate clearly at appointments.

Prioritize your top 2–3 concerns for each doctor visit to get better care.

Hormone therapy is more nuanced than many women were led to believe; ask informed questions.

Guest Bio:

Meghan Rabbitt is an award-winning journalist and editor covering women’s health, nutrition, and psychology. She’s an editor and writer at Shriver Media and the author of The New Rules of Women’s Health: Your Guide to Thriving at Every Age (foreword by Maria Shriver). PenguinRandomhouse.com+1

Resource Links:

Sign up for Lesa’s newsletter: https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyj

JJ Flizanes (core wounds resource): https://jjflizanes.com/lesa

Lesa’s eBook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G4B2ZY1W?ref=yb_qv_ov_kndl_dp_rw

Meghan Rabbitt’s book page: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/734289/the-new-rules-of-womens-health-by-meghan-rabbitt-foreword-by-maria-shriver/ PenguinRandomhouse.com

Tags/Keywords:

perimenopause symptoms, menopause symptoms, perimenopause vs menopause, hormone therapy, menopause mood swings, menopause brain fog, women’s health after 40, cholesterol and menopause, heart health women, women’s health book, Meghan Rabbitt, Maria Shriver women’s health

Why We Do Things We Know Aren’t Right for Us (And How to Listen to That Inner Knowing)

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 08:00:00 -0400

Why do we do things we know aren’t right for us? In this episode, Lesa Koski shares personal stories—from a disastrous snorkeling trip to an icy ski fall—to explore midlife mindset, intuition, and why ignoring our inner knowing leads to unnecessary pain.

Using her S.O.U.L. self-coaching method, Lesa walks through how stillness, surrender, and aligned decisions help women over 40 stop fighting themselves and start living with more clarity. This episode is especially helpful for women navigating divorce, boundaries, people-pleasing, or major life transitions who want to make choices that actually feel right.

Timestamps

(00:00) Welcome + why the New Year feels like a reset

(03:40) The question that won’t leave us alone: why do we go against ourselves?

(07:20) The Hawaii snorkeling story (red flags we ignored)

(15:10) The icy ski fall + ignoring inner knowing

(24:30) How people-pleasing overrides intuition

(30:40) Using the S.O.U.L. Method before making decisions

(39:00) Purpose vs. obligation: when sacrifice is aligned

(48:10) Divorce Clarity 40+ community invitation

Key Takeaways

Ignoring inner knowing often leads to unnecessary suffering

People-pleasing can override intuition

Stillness reveals what we already know

Alignment feels different than obligation

Purposeful sacrifice brings peace, not resentment

Guest Bio

Lesa Koski is a former family law attorney turned mediator, divorce coach, and mindset coach. She helps women over 40 navigate divorce, midlife transitions, and emotional overwhelm with clarity, faith, and grounded tools. Lesa is the host of Doing Life Different and creator of the S.O.U.L. Method™.

Resource Links

Tags / Keywords

midlife mindset, women over 40, divorce support, intuition, people pleasing, boundaries, emotional clarity, faith and mindset, doing life different

How to Process Unwanted Feelings After 40 | The S.O.U.L. Method for Emotional Clarity

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 04:00:00 -0400

How to Process Unwanted Feelings After 40 | The S.O.U.L. Method for Emotional Clarity

Episode Description

Unwanted feelings after 40 can feel overwhelming—especially during divorce or emotional seasons. In this episode, Lesa shares her S.O.U.L. Method to calm emotions, regulate your nervous system, and move forward with clarity. Learn how to process unwanted feelings, set boundaries, and choose aligned action with faith-based support. This episode is for women navigating divorce, emotional overwhelm, and midlife transitions who want clarity instead of chaos.

Timestamps

(00:00) Why unwanted feelings surface during the holidays

(05:12) Introducing the S.O.U.L. Method

(10:08) Stillness and surrendering emotions to God

(18:30) Identifying beliefs behind your feelings

(26:15) Using empathy and strengths on yourself

(34:40) Aligned action and setting guilt-free boundaries

(41:50) Divorce Clarity 40+ community invitation

Key Takeaways

Unwanted feelings are signals, not failures
Stillness helps regulate emotional overwhelm
Questioning beliefs reduces suffering
Boundaries are an act of self-respect
Small aligned actions build self-trust

Guest Bio

Lesa Koski is a former family law attorney turned mediator, divorce coach, and mindset coach. She helps women over 40 navigate divorce, emotional overwhelm, and midlife transitions with clarity, faith, and grounded decision-making.

Resource Links

Tags / Keywords

divorce clarity, unwanted feelings, emotional regulation, women over 40, divorce mindset, faith and healing, boundaries after divorce, midlife emotional health, soul method, divorce support for women

Forgiveness After 40: How Letting Go Heals Your Heart, Body & Faith

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 02:00:00 -0400

Forgiveness After 40: How Letting Go Heals Your Heart, Body & Faith

Episode Description

Forgiveness after 40 can unlock emotional healing, peace, and renewed faith. In this heartfelt holiday episode, Lesa Koski shares how forgiveness changed her life and helped her release anger, anxiety, and judgment. Through personal stories, faith-based reflection, and practical steps, this episode explores forgiveness as a path to healing—not for others, but for yourself. If you’re navigating divorce, grief, or emotional wounds in midlife, this conversation will help you reconnect with God, reclaim joy, and move forward lighter and freer.

(Primary keyword: forgiveness after 40 — used naturally throughout)

Timestamps

(00:00) Holiday reflections, grief, and why forgiveness matters

(04:15) Lessons learned through chaos and childhood stories

(10:40) Teaching through stories instead of advice

(16:05) Why forgiveness accelerates healing and growth

(20:50) Core wounds, stillness, and listening for God

(27:30) A faith-based practice for forgiveness and release

(35:10) Letting God judge instead of carrying anger

(41:45) Forgiveness, health, and emotional freedom

(48:20) Forgiving without an apology and finding peace

(55:30) Closing reflections and holiday blessing

Key Takeaways

Forgiveness is a healing practice that frees you, not the other person
Stillness and prayer help create space to hear God clearly
You don’t need an apology to forgive and move forward
Carrying anger can impact emotional and physical health
Forgiveness opens the door to greater joy, peace, and faith

Guest Bio

Lesa Koski is a family law attorney turned mediator, life coach, and host of Doing Life Different. She supports women over 40 navigating divorce, faith, forgiveness, and midlife reinvention with clarity, compassion, and grounded wisdom.

Resource Links

Core Wounds Course: JJ Flizanes – https://jjflizanes.com/lesa
Sign up for Lesa’s Newsletter: https://enchanting-basil-714.myflodesk.com/qwzridafyj
Lesa’s Ebook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G4B2ZY1W?ref=yb_qv_ov_kndl_dp_rw
Podcast Episode Mentioned: Andy Bull interview on forgiveness and healing (search within the show archive)
Andi Bull's episode: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/e87157ca-599f-4155-9b7e-3d577d1ee81d/
Join my Divorce Clarity community!

Tags / Keywords

forgiveness after 40, forgiveness and faith, healing after divorce, midlife forgiveness, emotional healing, Christian forgiveness, letting go of anger, core wounds healing, faith and mindset, women over 40, doing life different

Menopause & Divorce: How Midlife Hormonal Change Becomes an Opportunity for Healing

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Menopause and divorce can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have to break you. In this powerful conversation, we explore menopause and divorce as opportunities for growth, healing, and self-love. Host Lesa Koski shares her personal menopause journey alongside Coach Tracy, unpacking how hormonal changes, mindset, anxiety, weight gain, and emotional regulation intersect during midlife. This episode reframes menopause and divorce as chapters—not endings—and offers practical tools to help women navigate this season with clarity, compassion, and confidence. If you’re facing menopause, divorce, or both, this conversation will help you feel less alone and more empowered.

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction to menopause, divorce, and midlife transitions

(03:15) Why menopause and divorce often overlap during midlife

(07:42) Weight gain, loss of control, and learning self-acceptance

(12:30) Menopause as a physiological and emotional circumstance

(17:10) Metabolic health, hormones, and mindset explained

(22:45) Anxiety, panic, and changing your relationship with your thoughts

(28:30) The role of self-love, shame, and acceptance in healing

(33:50) Hormone testing, functional medicine, and natural support options

(39:20) Why menopause can be an opportunity instead of a setback

(44:10) Final encouragement for women navigating menopause and divorce

Key Takeaways

Menopause and divorce are life circumstances, not personal failures
Hormonal changes impact mental, emotional, and metabolic health
Mindset plays a powerful role in how menopause symptoms are experienced
Anxiety is often driven by thought patterns—not permanent conditions
Midlife can be a season of self-love, growth, and reinvention

Guest Bio

Coach Tracy is a life coach specializing in mindset, metabolic health, and emotional resilience for women navigating major life transitions. Through her coaching programs and tools, she helps women understand the connection between thoughts, feelings, hormones, and behavior—empowering them to move through menopause, anxiety, and midlife change with clarity and confidence.

Guest Bio: Coach Tracy is a master life and weight coach and the creator of the Self-Made U™ method and planner, where she helps high-achieving women and men learn how to manage their minds, regulate emotions, and create results from the inside out. As Lesa’s longtime coach, Tracy has walked alongside her through breast cancer, major life transitions, and the process of “doing life different,” equipping her with tools that now support women in midlife all over the world.

Resource Links:

Learn more about coaching with Lesa Koski
Listen to more episodes of Doing Life Different:
Self-Made U™ Planner & tools from Coach Tracy:
Free Feelings Wheel (to help you name emotions)

Tags/Keywords

menopause and divorce, menopause mindset, midlife healing, divorce recovery for women, menopause weight gain, anxiety and menopause, metabolic health women, hormone balance, midlife transformation, women over 40, menopause support, divorce coaching, emotional wellness midlife

It Doesn’t Have to Be Hard: Midlife Mindset Shifts to Stop White-Knuckling Life with Coach Tracy

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 04:30:00 -0400

Midlife mindset, stress relief, and emotional healing for women over 40. In this episode, we explore how to shift your midlife mindset, lower stress, and stop white-knuckling your way through life. Host Lesa Koski and her coach, Coach Tracy, unpack the beliefs that keep women stuck in “it has to be hard” mode and show you how slowing down can actually lead to better results in your health, relationships, and emotional well-being.

You’ll hear how Lesa’s breast cancer journey forced her into stillness, why cortisol and hormones matter more than we think, and how tools like daily self-coaching and intentional planning can transform your midlife mindset. If you’ve ever felt like you’re grinding through your days, pushing harder but feeling worse, this conversation will help you see a softer, more sustainable way forward.

Listen in to learn how to name your emotions without judgment, examine the thoughts driving them, and give yourself permission to move at a healthier pace—without losing your ambition or your identity. This episode is a powerful invitation to reframe your midlife mindset and start doing life different.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to why we make life harder than it needs to be

(03:10) Lesa’s breast cancer story and the surprising power of stillness

(07:45) White-knuckling, overachieving, and the “no pain, no gain” myth

(13:20) Cortisol, hormones, and why stress can block weight loss and healing

(18:50) The courage to slow down and sit with your emotions

(23:30) Naming feelings, stopping judgment, and shifting core beliefs

(29:05) Using intentional planning to decide how you want to feel

(34:40) Practical micro-steps to create more ease in everyday life

(39:10) Final encouragement: it doesn’t have to be hard & how to get support

Key Takeaways:

Ease can create better results than effort. Slowing down, resting, and listening to your body often leads to deeper healing and more sustainable progress than constant pushing.
Your thoughts—not your circumstances—create your emotional experience. When you can name what you’re feeling and see the belief behind it, you can finally change it.
Stress and cortisol matter. White-knuckling, over-fasting, and over-training can backfire, especially for midlife women, by raising cortisol and blocking physical and emotional results.
Stillness takes courage, not weakness. Sitting with your emotions, instead of fixing or judging them, is a powerful way to lower stress and reclaim your peace.
You can decide how you want to feel ahead of time. Intentional planning—choosing your desired feeling and thought before events—can transform everything from social gatherings to work commitments.

Guest Bio:

Coach Tracy is a master life and weight coach and the creator of the Self-Made U™ method and planner, where she helps high-achieving women and men learn how to manage their minds, regulate emotions, and create results from the inside out. As Lesa’s longtime coach, Tracy has walked alongside her through breast cancer, major life transitions, and the process of “doing life different,” equipping her with tools that now support women in midlife all over the world.

Resource Links:

Learn more about coaching with Lesa Koski
Listen to more episodes of Doing Life Different:
Self-Made U™ Planner & tools from Coach Tracy:
Free Feelings Wheel (to help you name emotions)

Tags/Keywords:

midlife mindset, midlife women, women over 40, emotional health, stress management, cortisol and weight, breast cancer survivor, slowing down, overwhelm, burnout, mindset coaching, life coaching for women, stillness, white knuckling life, doing life different, Lesa Koski, Coach Tracy, self coaching, emotional regulation, perimenopause, menopause, Christian coach, healing journey, planner for women, personal growth, women’s mental health, midlife reinvention, lifestyle podcast, Spotify podcast, YouTube podcast

Stillness in Midlife: The First Daily Shift to Heal Anxiety and Hear Your Calling

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Stillness, midlife anxiety, Christian mindset, healing, surrender, and purpose—this episode dives into stillness as the first daily shift to heal your mindset. Stillness is the doorway to hearing your calling, calming anxiety, and reconnecting with God when life feels loud and out of control.

In this solo episode, host and author Lesa Koski shares how stillness became the unexpected beginning of her healing journey after a breast cancer diagnosis. She walks you through her come-to-Jesus moment in Arizona, the shock of hearing “you have cancer,” and the deep, surprising peace she found on the morning of her surgery.

You’ll learn why stillness is not passive or weak, but a powerful spiritual and emotional reset that breaks the cycle of overthinking, people-pleasing, and white-knuckling your way through life. Lesa offers real-life tools to help you practice stillness when your mind is spinning—whether you’re facing cancer, divorce, health fears, or simply the quiet ache of a life that feels “too much.”

If you’re a woman over 40 or 50 feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or burned out, this conversation will show you how stillness can become your first daily shift toward peace, purpose, and a more joyful, God-led life. Stillness doesn’t remove the hard things, but it changes how you move through them.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to stillness as the first daily shift

(02:05) Living in lifelong anxiety, fear, and fight-or-flight

(04:12) The Arizona come-to-Jesus moment and praying for healing

(07:03) The mammogram callback and terrifying biopsy experience

(09:45) Hearing “you have breast cancer” and being forced to stop

(12:18) Letting go of control and surrendering outcomes to God

(14:40) Crying on hay bales, walking in the woods, and praying through fear

(17:02) The morning of surgery, malignant hyperthermia, and supernatural peace

(19:30) Why stillness is the foundation of healing and mindset work

(21:08) Practical tools to access stillness when your mind is spinning

(23:05) Using the feelings wheel and Scripture to name and process emotions

(24:15) How to get Lesa’s ebook, newsletter, and next steps for your healing journey

Key Takeaways:

Stillness is the first daily shift that opens the door to hearing your calling and healing your mindset.
A crisis (like cancer, divorce, or a child in trouble) can force you into stillness—and that stillness can become holy ground.
You can’t control outcomes, but you can control how you move through hard seasons by surrendering to God.
Stillness isn’t about doing nothing; it’s about feeling your feelings, noticing God’s presence, and interrupting anxiety’s momentum.
Simple practices—walking, crying in a safe place, grounding in your body, and using a feelings wheel—can help you access stillness even in the middle of chaos.

Guest Bio:

Lesa Koski is an attorney/mediator, podcast host, breast cancer survivor, and author of 5 Daily Shifts to Hear Your Calling and Heal Your Mindset. She helps women over 40 and 50 move from anxiety and overwhelm into peace, purpose, and God-led confidence by teaching practical, faith-centered mindset tools and daily shifts that support midlife reinvention.

Resource Links:

📘 5 Daily Shifts to Hear Your Calling and Heal Your Mindset (ebook)
🎁 Free Feelings Wheel Download: https://www.lesakoski.com
💌 Join Lesa’s Newsletter & Request a Free Copy of the Ebook:
🎙 Doing Life Different Podcast & Resources: https://www.lesakoski.com

Tags/Keywords:

stillness, stillness practice, midlife anxiety, Christian mindset, women over 40, women over 50, breast cancer survivor, healing journey, faith and anxiety, surrender to God, mindset healing, daily shifts, hear your calling, Christian podcast, women’s mental health, nervous system calm, resilience, midlife reinvention, emotional healing, doing life different, lesa koski

From “Medium Suck” to Confident Life: Faith, Reinvention & Rewriting Your Story as a Woman of Courage

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 02:00:00 -0400

Confident life, faith, clarity, and rewriting your story—this empowering conversation with attorney Hannah Hembree Bell shows women how to move from feeling stuck to building a confident life they truly love. If you’ve ever settled for “fine,” felt disconnected from yourself, or questioned whether you deserve more, this episode will speak directly to your heart.

Hannah, founder of My Confident Divorce, shares her powerful journey from small-town bride and overwhelmed young mother to attorney, mother of four, and mentor to women seeking a confident life rooted in courage, identity, and truth. Together, we explore how to recognize when you’re stuck, how women lose themselves in motherhood and marriage, and why faith is essential when stepping into a confident life filled with meaning and purpose.

You’ll learn Hannah’s five-step framework for creating a confident life—whether you choose to stay, pursue a confident divorce, or completely reinvent your identity in midlife. Her story will inspire you to believe you deserve joy, clarity, and a confident life where your dreams, needs, and voice finally matter.

If you’re longing for confidence, craving direction, or ready to rebuild your life with intention, this episode will give you hope and practical tools to begin again.

(Main keyword used: confident life)

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to Hannah Hembree Bell & My Confident Divorce

(02:15) “I think I’ve made a terrible mistake”—Hannah’s early marriage story

(05:42) Baby having babies: motherhood masking deeper issues

(08:30) The Facebook scroll moment that woke her up

(11:05) The “medium suck” life & signs you’re truly stuck

(14:18) Mental health, truth-telling & the first permission slip: “You deserve a happy life”

(17:40) Betting on yourself & stepping toward a confident life

(20:55) The cost of going into divorce depleted and unprepared

(24:32) Jury trial, custody, and rebuilding life after losing primary parenting time

(28:10) Why Hannah now helps women create a confident life

(30:45) Divorce as an on-ramp to a new life (and other wake-up calls: death, illness, job loss)

(33:02) Why women struggle to believe they deserve happiness

(36:15) Derivative identity: wife/mom vs. who you truly are

(39:05) Empty nest, gray divorce & midlife reinvention

(41:22) How to rediscover what you enjoy & who you are

(44:10) The “joy journal” + following breadcrumb interests

(46:38) Hannah’s 5-step framework for designing a confident life

(50:05) Step 1: Proclaiming you deserve a fulfilled, joyful life

(52:00) Step 2: Start with the end in mind—your future self

(53:40) Step 3: Honest inventory of what isn’t working

(55:12) Step 4: Identify your biggest constraint

(56:20) Step 5: Take the next right step toward a confident life

(57:30) Final encouragement: it’s never too late to start over

Key Takeaways:

A confident life starts with believing you deserve happiness, purpose, and joy.
A “medium suck” life is still misaligned—and a powerful signal that it’s time for change.
Women often lose themselves in a derivative identity (wife/mom). True confidence comes from knowing who you are apart from roles.
Faith and clarity are essential when stepping into a confident life or confident divorce.
You can rebuild your identity through small steps: awareness, inventory, identifying constraints, and taking bold, aligned action.

Guest Bio:

Hannah Hembree Bell is an award-winning Austin family law attorney, mom of four, and founder and CEO of one of the fastest-growing family law firms in the country, Hembree Bell Law. After experiencing her own difficult divorce and custody battle, she built a framework to help women avoid the same mistakes. Today, through her firm and her national education community, My Confident Divorce, Hannah equips women with the strategy and tools they need to protect their kids, finances, and future.

Resource Links:

Find Hannah at hannahhembreebell.com and her law firm at hembreebell.com

Access Hannah’s free divorce guide at MyConfidentDivorce.com

Listen to Hannah’s new podcast at notsavingitforlater.com

Tags/Keywords:

confident life, confident divorce, women of faith, Christian women, starting over in midlife, rewrite your story, women over 40, women’s empowerment, finding clarity, getting unstuck, identity after motherhood, midlife reinvention, divorce support, gray divorce, emotional courage, life purpose, faith and confidence, healing after divorce, personal growth for women, Lesa Koski, Doing Life Different, My Confident Divorce, courage to change

How to Find Joy at Any Age: Mindset Shifts for Aging Well & Feeling Vibrant

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 02:00:00 -0400

Joy, aging well, midlife mindset shifts, and vibrant living—this Saddle Up segment dives into the real tools women need to feel more joyful, purposeful, and empowered. In this episode, Lesa shares four practical steps to experience more joy daily, inspired by her powerful conversation with 67-year-old competitive athlete and ballroom dancer Robin Kencel. Learn how meaning, mindset, judgment, and surrender impact your ability to live joyfully after 40. This episode will help you rethink joy, deepen purpose, and take simple steps toward a more vibrant, aligned life.

In this conversation, you’ll hear how joy connects to purpose, why joy is a choice, how joy grows when judgment stops, and the mindset shifts that create more joy in midlife and beyond.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to joy, aging well & vibrant living

(01:12) Lessons from podcast guest Robin Kencel

(03:15) Joy comes from meaning and purpose

(05:24) Why joy is a choice (and how small shifts change everything)

(08:06) The “pick your joy” mindset and tiny habit building

(11:10) How judgment steals your joy

(13:20) Rewiring old thought patterns in midlife

(15:18) Surrender: letting go of the oars

(17:30) A simple thought that instantly brings more peace

(19:02) Episode recap: the 4 steps to grow joy every day

(20:12) Closing encouragement & next week’s guest tease

Key Takeaways:

Joy comes from meaning and purpose—alignment creates energy and ease.
Joy is a choice, built through daily mindset decisions.
Judgment blocks joy, both self-judgment and judging others.
Surrender allows clarity—letting go of urgency creates immediate peace.
Small steps compound, making joy and well-being more sustainable.

Guest Bio (from Tuesday’s main episode):

Robin Kencel isn’t just breaking records—she’s redefining what it means to age with purpose. She is the reigning Ms. Senior Connecticut and finished third runner-up in the national Ms. Senior America competition. A seven-time U.S. Pro-Am Ballroom Champion, Robin draws on decades of competitive dance experience to inspire others to stay active, confident, and spiritually grounded at any age.

Her philosophy blends faith, fitness, and mindset, encouraging women to embrace every season of life with grace and joy.

Resource Links:

Listen to the full episode with Robin Kencel (Tuesday’s main show)
Join the Doing Life Different Newsletter here!
Follow the Saddle Up Segment for weekly inspiration

Tags/Keywords:

joy, midlife joy, aging well, women over 40, mindset shifts, purpose and meaning, vibrant living, midlife wellness, surrender mindset, stop judging, emotional health, personal growth, women’s empowerment, joy tools, aging with confidence, Saddle Up segment, Lesa Koski, Doing Life Different, midlife coaching

Finding Your Rhythm After 40: How Ms. Senior Connecticut Robin Kencel Dances Her Way to Health, Joy & Longevity

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 04:00:00 -0400

💫 Episode Description:

Healthy aging, mindset, and movement come alive in this inspiring episode with Robin Kencel — Ms. Senior Connecticut, 7-time ballroom champion, and advocate for thriving at any age. Discover how rhythm, balance, and purpose can help you feel strong, confident, and vibrant in your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond.

In this uplifting conversation, host Lesa Koski and Robin dive deep into the mindset of aging well, staying joyful in movement, and finding your God-given purpose no matter the number on your birthday cake. You’ll hear how Robin turned passion into purpose, healed through rhythm, and learned that health isn’t about perfection — it’s about grace, balance, and daily choices that fuel your body and spirit.

If you’re looking for midlife motivation, wellness inspiration, or mindset tools to help you feel more alive, this episode will remind you that it’s never too late to start dancing again — literally or figuratively.

🕰️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction — Lesa welcomes Ms. Senior Connecticut, Robin Kencel

(03:10) Robin’s story: From active childhood to professional ballroom dance

(08:35) Starting ballroom at 45 — lessons in courage, mindset, and growth

(12:22) Overcoming setbacks — breaking her foot before Miss Senior America

(18:50) Finding purpose through movement, faith, and joy

(22:40) Healthy aging: listening to your body and taking aligned action

(28:00) Nutrition and micro-habits that support longevity and balance

(33:45) Why mindset and joy matter more than perfection in midlife fitness

(40:10) Robin’s daily movement “four buckets” — strength, flexibility, agility, cardio

(45:30) Aging with grace: faith, gratitude, and daily alignment

(50:15) Final reflections: finding meaning, rhythm, and love in every season

💡 Key Takeaways:

Mindset fuels longevity — physical health starts with purpose and perspective.
Movement can be worship — dance, stretch, or walk with joy and gratitude.
Boundaries bring peace — tune in to what your body and spirit need each day.
Small habits create big results — start with micro-shifts and build from there.
It’s never too late to start something new — age is simply a number, not a limit.

👑 Guest Bio:

Robin Kencel isn’t just breaking records—she’s redefining what it means to age with purpose. She is the reigning Ms. Senior Connecticut and finished third runner-up in the national Ms. Senior America competition. A seven-time U.S. Pro-Am Ballroom Champion, Robin draws on decades of competitive dance experience to inspire others to stay active, confident, and spiritually grounded at any age.

Her philosophy blends faith, fitness, and mindset, encouraging women to embrace every season of life with grace and joy.

🔗 Resource Links:

Follow Robin Kencel: Follow Robin Kencel: https://www.instagram.com/robinkencel/ | https://robinkencel.com/

Connect with Lesa Koski and sign up for her newsletter: www.lesakoski.com

🏷️ Tags / Keywords:

midlife mindset, aging gracefully, senior fitness, women over 40, ballroom dance, Ms. Senior Connecticut, Robin Kencel, Lesa Koski, midlife movement, wellness after 50, longevity mindset, healthy aging tips, over 40 wellness, faith and fitness, midlife reinvention, purpose in midlife, thriving women, doing life different podcast, mindset over 40, fitness motivation for women

Breaking Free from People Pleasing in Midlife: Menopause, Boundaries & Your True Self

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Episode Description:

Menopause and people pleasing are more connected than you think. Learn how hormonal shifts fuel emotional overload—and how to reclaim your voice, boundaries, and peace.

In this powerful episode of Doing Life Different, host Lesa Koski is joined by therapist Dr. Becky Whetstone for an honest, empowering conversation about the emotional toll of people pleasing—especially during perimenopause and menopause. If you're tired of saying yes when you mean no, exhausted by invisible expectations, and ready to finally feel free in midlife, this episode is for you.

We explore the deep connection between fluctuating hormones and heightened emotional reactivity, where people pleasing comes from, how to identify it in your relationships, and—most importantly—how to stop. Whether you’re navigating aging parents, grown kids, grandkids, a partner, or a career, it’s time to embrace your enoughness and stop living for approval.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome and what’s coming up in the episode

(02:31) How menopause messes with your emotions

(06:52) Where people pleasing starts (childhood trauma + core wounds)

(10:04) People pleasing in family, work, and faith

(13:36) How boundaries help you heal

(17:45) Lesa’s breast cancer journey and spiritual growth

(22:10) Saying “no” without guilt

(25:42) Healing your nervous system after people pleasing

(29:50) Faith, value, and who God says you are

(33:15) Coaching your inner child (and your mom!)

(36:21) Practical tools to stop people pleasing today

(41:10) Final thoughts and next steps

Key Takeaways:

Hormonal shifts during perimenopause and menopause impact emotional regulation, making people pleasing even harder to resist.
People pleasing is a trauma response, not a personality trait—it’s often rooted in childhood fear of rejection.
Boundaries are the cure: Learn to say no, feel your feelings, and stop fixing people who didn’t ask for help.
Faith meets psychology: God didn’t design you to live for approval. You’re already enough.
Healing is possible at any age—whether you're 40, 50, or 81, it's never too late to embrace your authentic self.

Guest Bio:

Dr. Becky Whetstone is a licensed marriage and family therapist, writer, and speaker known for her direct, humorous, and faith-anchored approach to emotional healing. A self-proclaimed “recovered people pleaser,” Dr. Becky helps women break free from emotional entanglements, trauma cycles, and perfectionism to rediscover joy and autonomy.

Resource Links:

💻 Connect with Dr. Becky: MarriageCrisisManager.com
📥 Join Lesa’s newsletter: lesakoski.com

From Hidden Addiction to Freedom: Jen Hirst’s Sobriety Story & Daily Habits for Alcohol-Free Living

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 04:00:00 -0400

📝 Episode Description:

Alcohol-free living can transform your life. In this episode, sobriety coach Jen Hirst opens up about her 12-year journey from secret addiction to recovery, coaching, and empowerment. She shares six essential daily habits for sobriety, how to build resilience without alcohol, and why labels like “alcoholic” don’t define your worth.

If you're sober-curious, in recovery, or simply re-evaluating your relationship with alcohol, this episode is your roadmap to healing, freedom, and joy.

🌟 Packed with sobriety tools, metabolic health tips, and emotional healing strategies, this is a must-listen for women navigating midlife, anxiety, perfectionism, or recovery.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome & Jen’s Sobriety Story
(08:52) Hiding Addiction Behind Perfectionism
(12:45) When Alcohol Becomes Self-Medication
(19:10) Lisa’s Journey with Alcohol & Breast Cancer
(26:15) Letting Go of Labels: Sober vs. Alcohol-Free
(33:44) Six Daily Habits That Support Sobriety
(50:08) Healing Through Community
(56:25) What Actually Made Sobriety Stick for Jen
(1:04:15) Advice for Families of Loved Ones Struggling
(1:09:03) Final Thoughts & Where to Find Jen

✅ Key Takeaways:

Sobriety is freedom, not limitation—it offers mental clarity, physical health, and emotional healing.
You don’t need to hit rock bottom to rethink your relationship with alcohol.
Six daily habits—hydration, movement, gratitude, protein intake, reading, and community—can shift your mindset and support lasting recovery.
You can define sobriety on your own terms: alcohol-free, sober, or none at all.
Recovery is possible, even after relapse, and honest community is a game changer.

👩‍💼 Guest Bio:

Jen Hirst is a certified sobriety coach and the founder of Lighthouse Sobriety, a community for women who want to stop drinking and start living fully. With over 12 years of sobriety, Jen helps women boost their confidence, rebuild self-trust, and embrace alcohol-free living with clarity and joy. Her programs combine neuroscience-backed habits, community connection, and compassionate accountability.

🔗 Resource Links:

💡 Lighthouse Sobriety Membership: https://joinlighthousesobriety.com/
📸 Follow Jen on Instagram: @lighthouse.sobriety

🔍 Tags/Keywords:

sobriety, alcohol-free living, women and alcohol, quit drinking, sobriety for women, recovery journey, midlife sobriety, perimenopause and alcohol, emotional healing, sobriety coach, sobriety podcast, lighthousesobriety, Jen Hurst, Lisa Koski, doing life different, sober curious, breast cancer recovery, AA alternative, quitting wine, sober habits, habits for recovery, mindfulness, alcohol and anxiety

Metabolic Mayhem & Midlife Miracles: Healing Hormones, Health & Hope Without White-Knuckling It

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Midlife weight gain, hormone shifts & burnout? Discover how to balance metabolism, mindset & faith without white-knuckling your way through life.

🌿 Full Description:

If you've hit 40 and suddenly feel like everything's changed—your body, sleep, mood, energy, and weight—you're not alone. In this Saddle Up segment of Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski shares her personal, honest journey through hormone changes, breast cancer, metabolic confusion, and how she’s learning to stop white-knuckling life and start loving her body again.

From fasting to functional medicine, cortisol to clean protein, Lesa covers it all—with grace, wisdom, and a whole lot of humor. This solo episode offers actionable midlife health advice and real-life encouragement for women navigating perimenopause, menopause, and metabolic mayhem.

🎧 Your body isn’t broken. It’s talking to you.

Let’s learn how to listen—with compassion, curiosity, and Christ at the center.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction: Midlife metabolism & the moment things changed

(02:43) Breast cancer, food freedom & healing after trauma

(05:10) Why your old habits stop working in your 40s and 50s

(08:32) Fasting fatigue: Why long fasts might hurt your hormones

(12:14) Joy, movement & midlife weight loss without punishment

(16:40) Alcohol, estrogen, and breast cancer awareness

(20:28) Protein overload? Why 100g isn’t always the answer

(23:03) Sleep, cortisol & the power of rest as hormone therapy

(26:15) Lesa’s 7 Steps to Metabolic Balance (without HRT)

(30:41) Final encouragement: You’re not failing, you’re evolving

🔑 Key Takeaways:

Nourish, don’t punish. Eat to feel good—not to atone.
Sleep is hormonal therapy. Prioritize bedtime like medicine.
Stress sabotages results. Joy is part of the prescription.
Fast with wisdom. Fasting works—but not for everyone, every time.
Protein matters—but so does peace. More isn’t always better.

👤 Guest Bio:

Lesa Koski is a mediator, life coach, podcast host, and breast cancer survivor helping women over 40 navigate midlife with faith, mindset, and grace. Host of Doing Life Different, she empowers listeners to transform hardship into healing through God’s guidance and real-life tools.

🔗 Resource Links:

💌 Sign up for Lesa’s newsletter lesakoski.com
📲 Follow Lesa on Instagram: @livebetterwithlesa
🎧 Listen to the main episode with Marie Simpson (Functional Medicine Expert):

🔍 Tags/Keywords:

midlife metabolism, perimenopause, menopause, hormone balance, metabolic health, fasting for women, weight loss over 40, functional medicine, breast cancer survivor, clean protein, midlife wellness, cortisol and stress, women’s health podcast, doing life different, lesa koski, christian women health, mindset and hormones

Hormones, Metabolism & Midlife Health: How to Thrive Naturally with Functional Medicine Expert Marrie Simpson

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Hormone imbalance, weight gain, brain fog, and burnout after 40? You’re not alone. In this episode of Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski welcomes functional medicine practitioner Marrie Simpson for an open, empowering conversation about hormones, metabolic health, and how women can take back control of their well-being—naturally and holistically.

Marrie shares her personal journey from prescription-based medicine to root-cause healing, and dives into actionable steps women can take to balance hormones, increase energy, improve sleep, and support metabolic fitness—especially during perimenopause and menopause.

If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or out of balance, this episode is packed with hope, education, and next steps—without the overwhelm. Whether you're dealing with hot flashes, insomnia, low libido, or just a nagging feeling of "not quite right," you're in the right place.

🎧 Plus: Lesa shares her own experience navigating estrogen blockers after breast cancer—and how Marie's guidance has helped her reclaim her energy and mindset.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction: Meet Marrie Simpson
(03:15) Marrie’s journey from traditional medicine to functional healing
(09:42) How hormone imbalance affects women 40+
(15:27) Understanding perimenopause and estrogen dominance
(19:44) The real impact of cortisol, stress, and sleep
(23:16) Weight gain and metabolic slow-down in midlife
(30:03) What women can do naturally to support hormone health
(34:55) When hormone replacement therapy makes sense—and when it doesn’t
(42:48) Alcohol, estrogen, and breast cancer risk
(48:19) Why listening to your body is the most powerful strategy
(51:30) Final words of hope from Marie and Lesa

✅ Key Takeaways:

88% of chronic illnesses are connected to metabolic dysfunction—not genetics.
Cortisol and estrogen dominance are often the hidden culprits behind midlife weight gain and insomnia.
Women can take a natural approach to healing through diet, stress management, muscle preservation, and detoxification.
Hormone replacement therapy can be powerful—but only when individualized and timed correctly.
Alcohol increases breast cancer risk and interferes with hormone balance. (One glass of wine per night may not be as harmless as you think.)

👩‍⚕️ Guest Bio: Marie Simpson, PA-C, IFMCP

Marrie Simpson is a licensed Physician Assistant and certified Functional Medicine Practitioner. Founder of Elevate Health and Wellness, Marrie blends her clinical training with deep compassion, science-backed protocols, and personalized coaching. With specialties in metabolic health, hormone balance, autoimmune conditions, and genetic optimization, Marie empowers women to heal root causes—not just symptoms.

🔗 Resource Links:

Kathleen.judge@edwardjones.com

🔎 Tags/Keywords:

perimenopause, menopause, hormone imbalance, functional medicine, Marrie Simpson, Lesa Koski, breast cancer recovery, metabolic health, estrogen dominance, cortisol and weight gain, Dutch hormone test, natural hormone support, midlife weight gain, healthy aging women, women’s health podcast, hot flashes natural remedy, hormone replacement therapy, sober curious midlife, hormone health podcast, doing life different podcast, aging gracefully, holistic hormone support

Saddle Up for Purpose: Finding Your Calling After Divorce, Diagnosis, or a Life Pivot

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Feeling stuck in midlife? Whether it’s divorce, diagnosis, or becoming an empty nester, this episode will help you reconnect with your worth, rediscover your calling, and embrace the next chapter. Midlife transitions can feel overwhelming—but they’re also filled with opportunity. In this Saddle Up segment, Lesa Koski recaps her powerful conversation with Florida divorce attorney Heather Quick and dives into key takeaways about finding joy, working in your purpose, and healing through hard seasons.

Lesa shares personal insights about writing her book, embracing imperfection, and how pivoting—whether in career, parenting, or life—is not failure, but faith. If you’re craving clarity, courage, or just a reminder that you’re still meant for more, this one’s for you.

Whether you’re starting over after divorce, navigating an identity shift, or simply ready to feel better—your comeback starts here.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction: Why this episode matters for midlife reinvention
(02:04) Recap of Tuesday’s episode with attorney Heather Quick
(04:13) Embracing your calling (even when it’s hard work)
(06:45) Why “purpose” doesn’t have to be perfect
(09:20) Redefining your worth: “You’re a daughter of the King”
(12:34) Coaching tip: How to sit with your feelings and move through them
(15:55) Pivoting isn’t failure—it’s learning
(18:42) Parenting decisions, career shifts, and embracing divine timing
(21:30) Closing encouragement + listen back to Tuesday’s full episode

🔑 Key Takeaways:

Your calling may not always feel easy—but it will feel right.
You are worthy because of who you are, not what you do.
Pivoting is not failing—it’s trusting the next right step.
You don’t have to love every part of your purpose to live in purpose.
Your words to yourself should match God’s love for you—gentle, honest, and full of hope.

🔗 Resource Links:

🎧 Full episode with Heather Quick:
💻 Divorce & Parenting Plan Course:
✍️ Book Coaching & Life Coaching: lesakoski.com
📸 Follow Lesa on Instagram: [@livebetterwithlesa]

🏷️ Tags/Keywords:

divorce coaching, midlife reinvention, find your purpose, women over 40, life after divorce, faith and healing, identity shift, how to pivot, finding your calling, empty nester, personal growth podcast, Heather Quick, Lesa Koski, Saddle Up Live, parenting through divorce, co-parenting tips, emotional resilience, self-worth, life coaching for women

How to Reclaim Your Value After Divorce & Build a Business You Love | Heather Quick on Empowering Women

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Empowering women after divorce starts with one truth: you are valuable. In this episode, attorney and author Heather Quick shares how women can reclaim their worth, protect their peace, and build businesses that reflect their true gifts.

In this empowering conversation, Lesa Koski sits down with Heather Quick, a Florida-based family law attorney, author, and entrepreneur who’s helping women navigate divorce and rediscover their purpose. From her bold decision to launch her women-only law firm to writing multiple books and mentoring women through business ownership, Heather shares her journey with raw honesty and practical insight.

Whether you’re in the middle of a life transition or simply wondering what you’re truly good at—this episode will remind you that it’s never too late to pivot, grow, and reclaim your voice.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to Heather Quick

(01:45) Heather’s legal journey and aha moment in family law

(06:32) From criminal law to empowering women through divorce

(09:05) The impact of being a child of divorce

(12:15) Why she opened a women-only divorce law firm

(18:00) What most women don’t realize about their worth

(21:25) The emotional strength needed to downsize and start fresh

(25:42) How Heather built her law firm from scratch during a recession

(31:10) Learning to run a business (not taught in law school!)

(34:28) The “borrowed strength” concept to support women through divorce

(36:15) Why she wrote A Woman’s Guide to Becoming a Successful Entrepreneur

(41:22) How to rediscover what you're good at—especially after a hard season

(47:50) The importance of pivoting without shame

(51:00) Raising strong daughters and becoming a resilient woman

(56:00) Final encouragement and how to connect with Heather

💡 Key Takeaways:

You can start over—and thrive—after divorce.
Your value doesn’t disappear when your relationship ends.
Starting a business can be a path to freedom, joy, and healing.
“Borrowed strength” from others can help you rebuild your identity.
Pivoting isn’t failure—it’s proof that you’re still growing.

👩‍⚖️ Guest Bio:

Heather Quick is a family law attorney, author, and founder of The Quick Law Group, a Florida-based firm dedicated exclusively to representing women through divorce. She is the host of the Women Winning Divorce podcast and the author of several books, including A Woman’s Guide to Becoming a Successful Entrepreneur. Heather empowers women to take control of their lives both legally and financially after divorce.

🔗 Resource Links:

https://www.floridawomenslawgroup.com/
https://www.instagram.com/4womenlaw/
🎧 Women Winning Divorce Podcast: https://womenwinningdivorce.com
📚 Heather’s Books: [Amazon Author Page or Bookstore Link]
✨ Lesa Koski’s Podcast + Courses: https://www.lesakoski.com

🔍 Tags/Keywords:

divorce attorney for women, women-only divorce lawyer, empowering women through divorce, how to start a business after divorce, Heather Quick attorney, Lesa Koski podcast, family law and female entrepreneurship, women over 40 podcast, reclaiming your value after divorce, Christian podcast for women, midlife reinvention, starting over after divorce, women in law, women entrepreneurs, post-divorce confidence

The Boundary Breakthrough: How Saying “No” in Midlife Changed Everything

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 04:00:00 -0400

In this solo episode of Doing Life Different, host Lesa Koski opens up about her own boundary struggles and how one uncomfortable decision led to deep personal relief. Whether you're navigating relationships, caregiving, or simply trying to get better sleep, this short episode will leave you inspired, equipped, and ready to set a boundary of your own—without the guilt.

Lesa shares:

A real-life example of setting a sleep boundary in marriage
Why midlife is the wake-up call for boundary-setting
What people-pleasers need to know to feel okay saying “no”
Her favorite go-to phrases that protect your time, energy, and peace

Remember: Boundaries aren’t mean. They’re wise.

🎧 Tune in and get the clarity and courage you need to take one small step toward freedom—today.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome to the Saddle Up Segment

(00:45) A personal story: Setting a bedtime boundary

(02:30) Why midlife demands better boundaries

(04:30) Tools to help you say no without guilt

(06:00) Encouragement and closing thoughts

💡 Key Takeaways:

Midlife often forces us to confront boundary burnout—it's not selfish to take your peace seriously.
A single boundary, even a small one, can lead to better health and relationships.
You don't need to explain your "no"—you just need to mean it.
Start with simple scripts to reclaim your time and energy.

🧠 Resource Links:

🎙️ Listen to the full episode with Dr. Becky Whetstone on boundaries: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/0a84b700-1ed6-46ed-9e3a-41ee9038fbda/
💻 Learn more at https://www.lesakoski.com

🔍 Tags/Keywords:

midlife boundaries, setting boundaries in midlife, people pleasing, self-care for women, how to say no, midlife burnout, Christian podcast for women, personal growth after 40, Lesa Koski, Saddle Up Segment, Doing Life Different

Boundaries That Change Everything: Midlife Confidence, Self-Care & Saying No (Without Guilt)

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Boundaries for midlife women, people-pleasing recovery, self-care, and marriage—learn why boundaries matter and how to set boundaries that stick. In this episode, we unpack what boundaries are, why boundaries become non-negotiable in midlife, and simple tools to set boundaries in marriage, friendships, work, and faith. With guest expert Dr. Becky Whetstone, we explore people-pleasing, nervous-system cues, and scripts you can use today. If you’ve struggled to speak up, this conversation will help you build healthier habits, protect your peace, and live aligned. Expect real talk, a relatable story (yes, even snoring + sleep!), and a practical challenge to start setting boundaries now.

Timestamps (in parentheses):

(00:00) Introduction to boundaries in midlife

(02:10) Why boundaries matter for women 40+ (roles, energy, identity)

(06:05) Host shares a personal boundary win (sleep, snoring & choices)

(09:40) Guest shares insights on people-pleasing & childhood wiring

(14:12) Boundaries beyond relationships: health, faith, career, time

(18:20) Scripts you can use to set boundaries (word-for-word)

(23:05) Handling pushback: guilt, entitlement & escalation

(27:18) How boundaries reduce stress and improve wellbeing

(30:10) Weekly challenge: define one value-aligned “no” and one restorative “yes”

(32:00) Closing encouragement & next steps

Key Takeaways:

Boundaries protect your peace, energy, and values—without them, stress and resentment grow.
People-pleasing is learned; you can unlearn it with awareness, practice, and support.
Your body signals boundary violations (tight chest, anxiety); listen and respond.
Simple scripts reduce friction: “That doesn’t work for me,” “I need to check my calendar,” “I can’t commit, but thank you.”
When you change your boundaries, life gets lighter—health, relationships, and purpose all improve.

Guest Bio:

Dr. Becky Whetstone is a marriage and family therapist and the founder of Marriage Crisis Management. She specializes in boundaries, relationship repair, and helping women overcome people-pleasing and anxiety to build healthier, values-aligned lives.

Resource Links:

Lesakoski.com
Work with Dr. Becky Whetstone — https://marriagecrisismanager.com/
Doing Life Different Podcast — subscribe & share
Boundary Scripts (mentioned): “That doesn’t work for me right now,” “I need to check my calendar,” “I can’t commit, but thank you for thinking of me.”

Tags/Keywords:

boundaries, boundaries in midlife, women over 40, people pleasing, self care, marriage advice, relationship boundaries, faith and wellness, mindset shift, emotional health, nervous system, stress reduction, confidence for women, personal growth, healthy habits, saying no, life after 40, midlife women empowerment

Saddle Up: Breast Cancer Awareness — Your Next Right Steps

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 03:00:00 -0400

This quick, hope-filled Saddle Up distills my full conversation with my surgeon, Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary, into practical steps you can take this week. Early detection saves lives. Courage + a simple plan = peace.

What You’ll Learn

Why early detection changes everything
The 25-year-old high-risk assessment every woman should know about
What to do if you have dense breasts (better imaging options)
Lifestyle levers that actually move the needle (movement, stress, alcohol, steady nutrition)
A simple prayer + mindset script to calm anxiety

Time-Stamped Guide (approx.)

00:00 — Why this episode matters (hope > fear)

01:00 — Appointments to make + when to start

02:00 — High-risk assessment at 25: what it is, who needs it

03:30 — Dense breasts: mammogram + MRI/ultrasound strategy

04:30 — Lifestyle that helps: movement, steady nutrition, stress, alcohol

06:00 — Mindset + prayer to carry you through

The Saddle Up Checklist (pick 1–3)

Book your mammogram (start at 40; sooner if high-risk).
Forward this to a 25–35 year-old you love and nudge a high-risk assessment.
Dense breasts? Message your provider about alternating mammogram + MRI based on your risk.
Choose one lever: add a 20-minute walk, swap one drink for sparkling water, or add protein + plants to lunch.
Write & carry this prayer:

“God, I’m placing my health in Your hands. Lead me to the right steps and the right people. Give me courage to act and peace to rest.”

Key Takeaways

Early > easy. Catch it early and treatment is often simpler—and curative.
No family history? Still go. ~80% of women diagnosed have no family history.
Personalize it. Dense breasts and/or higher risk may mean different imaging.
Small habits help. Aim toward ~300 min/week of movement, include strength, keep nutrition steady, reduce alcohol, and prioritize sleep + stress care.
Peace is possible. You don’t need perfect—just the next faithful step.

Favorite Quote

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s acting with peace anyway.”

About Our Guest

Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary is a breast surgeon and founder of Lady Slipper Breast Center with locations in St. Paul, St. Louis Park, and Edina. Trained at the University of Minnesota and Johns Hopkins, she’s passionate about personalized, whole-person care—before, during, and after treatment.

https://www.elizabetholearymd.com

Connect with Lesa

lesakoski.com

Podcast: Doing Life Different

Disclaimers

This episode is for education + encouragement and is not medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider about your unique situation.

Thriving Through Cancer Treatment

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this heartfelt episode, the host combines content from both 'Doing Divorce Different' and 'Saddle Up Live' podcasts to share a personal journey through a recent breast cancer diagnosis and ongoing treatments. The host explores themes of resilience, reliance on faith, community support, and mindful health practices that have helped through chemotherapy. Valuable advice is shared on maintaining a healthy lifestyle and mindset during challenging times, emphasizing the importance of self-care, gratitude, and flexibility. Addressing both cancer and divorce, the host aims to provide hope and practical guidance for listeners going through tough personal battles.

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Update

01:36 Personal Health Journey: Overcoming Cancer

04:15 Faith and Community Support

05:52 Managing Anxiety During Treatment

07:32 Healthy Eating and Lifestyle Changes

11:44 Physical Activity and Flexibility

15:50 Gratitude and Positive Mindset

18:54 Final Thoughts and Future Plans

Breast Cancer Awareness: Early Detection, Mammograms & Hope — Doctor Explains (w/ Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary)

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Breast cancer awareness, early detection, mammograms, and modern treatment options—learn what women 40+ need to know now. In this Breast Cancer Awareness Month special, we talk breast cancer signs, risk factors, and how early detection saves lives. Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary—breast surgeon and head of Lady Slipper Breast Center—shares practical guidance on breast cancer screening, genetics, lifestyle, and survivorship. If you’ve delayed your mammogram, this conversation is your nudge. We cover what’s changed in breast cancer care, what to ask your providers, and how to advocate for yourself with confidence.

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction to Breast Cancer Awareness Month & why this episode matters

(02:05) Meet Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary: training, Johns Hopkins, and founding Lady Slipper Breast Center

(06:18) Patient-first care: time, personalization, and thriving after treatment

(10:40) Lisa’s breast cancer story: fear, surgery decisions, and believing for a cure

(15:22) Early detection essentials: mammograms, dense breasts, and screening timelines

(19:30) High-risk assessment at 25: who needs early imaging and why it matters

(24:05) Genetics 101: family history, moving-target panels, and what results mean

(28:48) Lifestyle factors: diet, exercise, stress, alcohol—what the research supports

(34:12) Advocacy & self-trust: how to speak up and choose your care team

(37:20) Hope & next steps: practical actions to take this week

(39:15) Where to find Dr. O’Leary & Lady Slipper Breast Center

Key Takeaways

Early detection saves lives. Annual mammograms (and MRI for select high-risk women) dramatically improve outcomes.
High-risk assessment should start at 25. A formal risk review can identify women who need earlier or additional screening.
Genetics is evolving. “Negative before” doesn’t always mean negative now—panels and insights continue to expand.
Lifestyle matters. Consistent movement, strength training, weight management, stress reduction, and limiting alcohol are linked to lower risk.
You can be both calm and proactive. Ask questions, understand your options, and choose a team that treats the whole person.

Guest Bio

Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary, MD is a breast surgeon and founder of Lady Slipper Breast Center in Minnesota (St. Paul, St. Louis Park, Edina). Trained at the University of Minnesota and Johns Hopkins, she specializes in personalized, comprehensive breast care—from screening and diagnosis through treatment and survivorship—with a focus on early detection, minimally invasive approaches, and patient-centered outcomes.

Resource Links

Lady Slipper Breast Center (Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary): https://www.elizabetholearymd.com
Find a high-risk breast clinic near you (search “breast cancer high risk clinic” + your city)
Breast density info & screening options (ask your imaging center about tomosynthesis and MRI for high-risk patients)
Lifestyle tools: activity trackers, strength programs for women 40+, and stress-reduction practices (breathwork, prayer, therapy)

Tags/Keywords

breast cancer awareness, breast cancer, early detection, mammogram, dense breasts, breast MRI, breast cancer screening, HER2, BRCA, genetics and cancer, women’s health over 40, breast surgeon, Lady Slipper Breast Center, Elizabeth O’Leary MD, breast cancer prevention, survivorship, cancer risk factors, alcohol and breast cancer, diet and cancer, exercise and cancer, midlife women health, doing life different podcast

My Breast Cancer Journey: From Diagnosis to Hope | Early Detection & Healing Through Faith

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 08:30:00 -0400

Breast Cancer Awareness Month reminds us: early detection saves lives. 💗 In this heartfelt episode, Lesa Koski shares her personal breast cancer story—from the moment she got the call, through surgery and chemo, to finding faith, purpose, and healing.

Lesa opens up about fear, family, and faith during her diagnosis and how her journey led to a deeper calling—Doing Life Different. You’ll hear the raw truth of those first moments, the life-changing impact of early detection, and the hope that comes from trusting God’s plan.

Her message is clear: you are not alone, and there is so much hope.

Whether you’re walking through your own diagnosis or supporting someone who is, this episode will lift your spirit and remind you that healing is possible.

💖 Main keywords: breast cancer awareness, early detection, breast cancer survivor, breast cancer journey, hope and healing, faith-based healing

Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome to Breast Cancer Awareness Month

(02:15) Why Lesa celebrates her healing journey

(05:42) The mammogram that changed everything

(09:31) The call: “You have breast cancer”

(12:58) Leaning on faith through fear and uncertainty

(17:24) Sharing the diagnosis with family and finding strength

(22:50) Early detection and a 98% positive outcome

(26:15) Meeting Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary—an angel in a white coat

(31:05) Surgery, recovery, and lessons in surrender

(36:40) Chemo, courage, and learning to live with joy again

(41:12) Doing Life Different—how cancer became a calling

(45:20) Closing reflections and message of hope

Key Takeaways:

Early detection saves lives. Get your mammogram—it can make all the difference.
Faith transforms fear. Trusting God through uncertainty brings peace and purpose.
You’re not alone. Community, prayer, and connection are powerful parts of healing.
Your story has purpose. Even the hard chapters can be used to help others.
Life after diagnosis can be beautiful. Healing is possible—body, mind, and soul.

Guest Bio:

Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary, breast surgeon and founder of Lady Slipper Breast Center in St. Louis Park, MN, is a renowned physician who blends medical expertise with compassionate, faith-based care. A former Johns Hopkins-trained surgeon, she has helped countless women through diagnosis, treatment, and healing with empathy and excellence.

Resource Links:

🎀 Lady Slipper Breast Center – https://ladyslipperbreastcenter.com
🌸 Learn more about Lesa Koski: https://lesakoski.com
💌 Contact Lesa: lesa.koski@gmail.com
💖 Listen to “Doing Life Different” Podcast – Spotify | Apple Podcasts
📅 Schedule your mammogram reminder today

Tags/Keywords:

breast cancer awareness, breast cancer journey, breast cancer survivor, early detection, mammogram reminder, hope and healing, cancer diagnosis, faith and healing, Lesa Koski, Lady Slipper Breast Center, Dr. Elizabeth O’Leary, women’s health, midlife wellness, cancer support, doing life different, Saddle Up Live, Christian inspiration, overcoming fear, cancer recovery stories

Saddle Up Segment: Healing, Finances & Finding Your Voice | Money Mindset for Women Over 40

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Money isn’t just about dollars—it’s about values, legacy, and freedom. In this Saddle Up Segment of Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski reflects on her conversation with financial advisor Kathleen Judge. Together, they explore why finances are deeply personal, why women must have a voice in money decisions, and how shame has no place in financial conversations. Whether you’re married, divorced, or starting over, this episode empowers you to align your finances with your values and live with confidence.

⏱ Timestamps

(00:00) Welcome to the Saddle Up Segment

(01:05) Finances are personal and values-driven

(02:10) Women need a voice in money conversations

(03:18) Why shame doesn’t belong in finances

(04:25) The power of boundaries in money decisions

(05:30) Hard seasons reveal your calling

(06:15) Weekly challenge: Align your financial goals with habits

(07:05) Closing encouragement & call to action

💡 Key Takeaways

Finances are personal. Money choices reflect your values, legacy, and relationships.
Women need a seat at the table. Don’t give away your power in financial decisions.
Shame is not welcome. Asking questions and learning about money is strength, not weakness.
Boundaries bring freedom. Clear financial boundaries align your choices with your goals.
Your hard seasons matter. The challenges you face may reveal your greatest calling.

👩‍💼 Guest Bio

Kathleen Judge is a financial advisor with Edward Jones who brings her personal journey of adoption, homeschooling, and divorce into her work. She empowers women to feel confident, secure, and values-driven in their financial decisions.

🔗 Resource Links

Connect with Lesa: LesaKoski.com
Lesa's Cabi style Page

Money, Divorce & Living Your Best Life | Financial Wisdom with Kathleen Judge

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Money, Divorce & Living Your Best Life | Financial Wisdom with Kathleen Judge

📝 Episode Description

Divorce, finances, and living your best life—financial planning is about more than money. In this episode of Doing Life Different, host Lesa Koski sits down with financial advisor Kathleen Judge to talk about money, divorce recovery, and creating a life aligned with your values.

Whether you’re navigating finances during divorce, looking to get more involved in money decisions, or simply wanting clarity on your financial future, Kathleen shares practical steps and empowering truths to help you take charge.

Through her personal journey of adoption, homeschooling, entrepreneurship, and an unexpected divorce, Kathleen offers real stories and strategies for women who want to feel confident, secure, and purposeful with their finances.

⏱ Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction and welcome to Kathleen Judge

(02:15) Why finances are deeply personal and tied to values

(06:42) Kathleen’s background and becoming a financial advisor

(12:08) Adoption, homeschooling, and trusting God through challenges

(18:50) Divorce, unexpected transitions, and financial fears

(24:20) Reclaiming financial confidence and setting boundaries

(29:45) Helping women become active partners in money decisions

(34:30) Marriage, money, and the importance of open conversations

(41:00) Advice for young couples navigating today’s economy

(46:15) Why knowing what you truly want changes everything

(50:02) Closing encouragement and next steps

✨ Key Takeaways

Healing starts with clarity: Finances reflect your values—know what you truly want.
Women must have a voice: In marriage or divorce, be an active partner in financial decisions.
Financial planning is holistic: It’s not just investments; it’s taxes, estate planning, and protection.
Confidence grows with knowledge: Asking questions is strength, not weakness.
God uses hard seasons: Divorce, homeschooling, and setbacks can lead to your true calling.

👩‍💼 Guest Bio

Kathleen Judge is a Financial Advisor with Edward Jones, dedicated to helping clients make smart, values-based financial decisions. With a background in digital marketing, entrepreneurship, adoption, and homeschooling, Kathleen brings both professional expertise and personal wisdom. After navigating an unexpected divorce, she now empowers women and families to create financial strategies that support their goals and reflect what matters most.

🔗 Resource Links

Learn more about Lesa Koski → https://lesakoski.com
Lesa's Cabi Style Page

314-856-9653

www.edwardjones.com/kathleen-judge

kathleenjudgestl

linkedin.com/in/kathleen-judge1

🏷 Tags/Keywords

financial planning for women, money after divorce, divorce finances, kathleen judge financial advisor, money mindset for women, women and wealth, financial confidence after divorce, doing life different podcast, lesa koski podcast, christian financial advice, values based financial planning, women over 40 money, estate planning and divorce, healing through finances

Healing Starts at Home | Key Takeaways with Nurse Lisa Sander

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 04:00:00 -0400

📝 Episode Description

Healing starts at home—with faith, kindness, and humility. In this Saddle Up Segment of Doing Life Different, host Lesa Koski reflects on her conversation with Nurse Lisa Sander, pulling out the most powerful takeaways to help you heal, grow, and lead with kindness in your daily life.

Even if you’ve never faced divorce or frontline nursing, Lisa’s wisdom touches us all. From humility in relationships to finding your voice in midlife, these lessons are practical, faith-filled, and life-changing.

Listen in to discover how healing yourself transforms your family—and how healing families can transform our communities and country.

⏱ Timestamps

(00:00) Welcome to the Saddle Up Segment

(01:15) Healing helps us serve others

(02:30) Why kindness must begin at home

(03:40) Humility vs. defensiveness in relationships

(05:05) Healing our families to heal our country

(06:25) Finding your voice in midlife

(07:30) Daily kindness as leadership

✨ Key Takeaways

Healing frees us to turn outward and serve others
True kindness begins inside our homes
Humility repairs faster than defensiveness
Families are the first place healing must happen
Your voice matters at every age and stage
Everyday acts of kindness are leadership in action

👩‍⚕️ Guest Bio

Lisa Sander is a Med-Surg charge nurse, coach, and co-host of Our Healer, Our Protector. After walking through divorce, frontline nursing during COVID, and rediscovering her calling, she now helps individuals and couples reconnect with themselves, each other, and God through retreats, coaching, and storytelling.

Healing Starts at Home: Faith and Healing with Nurse Lisa Sander | Ending the Cycle & Finding Your Voice

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Episode Description:

Faith and healing, divorce recovery, and real-life resilience—this candid conversation with nurse Lisa Sander explores how to reconnect with God, yourself, and others. We unpack frontline lessons from COVID, practical tools for divorce recovery, and why kindness, listening, and humility transform families and communities. Centered on faith and healing, we discuss ending perfectionism, finding your voice after 40, and choosing love over fear. If you’re ready to pursue faith and healing in everyday life, this episode offers grounded stories, hope, and next steps. You’ll hear how faith and healing can guide hard conversations, co-parenting, and calling.

Timestamps (in parentheses):

(00:00) Introduction to authentic, unscripted conversation and today’s themes

(02:38) Guest shares insights on nursing: calling, compassion, and reconnecting with God & others

(06:05) Divorce recovery and healing: finding courage, setting needs, choosing respect

(10:12) COVID frontline lessons: leadership, humility, and doing the next right thing

(14:27) National grief & unity: listening across differences, choosing kindness over fear

(18:40) Judgment vs. discernment: how to truly hear someone’s story

(22:58) Failure as formation: “third time’s the light” and growing through setbacks

(26:30) Parenting & teens through change: stability, honesty, and co-parenting well

(30:02) Retreats & service: Christian couples retreat and a Minnesota nonprofit vision

(33:15) Takeaways & encouragement: ending cycles, finding your voice after 40+

Key Takeaways:

Faith and healing begin with listening—at home, in marriage, and in community.
Courageous honesty and humble apologies soften defensiveness and rebuild trust.
Divorce recovery is possible with respect, clarity on needs, and child-first co-parenting.
Failure can form you: resilience grows when you keep showing up with God.
Kindness is leadership—choose it in conversations, online, and at the checkout line.

Guest Bio:

Lisa Sander is a Med-Surg charge nurse, podcast co-host of Our Healer, Our Protector, and a Christian coach who helps women and couples reconnect with themselves, each other, and God. Drawing from 24+ years in nursing and her own life transitions, Lisa supports divorce recovery, relational healing, and purpose after 40.

Resource Links:

Watch Our Healer, Our Protector on YouTube — https://youtube.com/@ourhealerourprotector?feature=shared
Connect with Lisa Sander — [insert website or social link]
Lesa Koski — https://lesakoski.com
Couples Retreat (Arizona) — [insert lin

Tags/Keywords:

faith and healing, divorce recovery, women over 40 podcast, Christian women, kindness and unity, judgment vs discernment, co-parenting, resilience, nurse story, COVID frontline lessons, finding your voice, ending perfectionism, Christian couples retreat, Minnesota nonprofit, Our Healer Our Protector, Lisa Sander

Saddle Up Segment: Ending the Cycle of Perfectionism & Judgment | Healing with Andi Bull

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Episode Description:

Break the cycle of perfectionism, judgment, and people-pleasing. In this Saddle Up Segment, Lesa Koski shares 5 key takeaways from part two of her powerful conversation with author Andi Bull (When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect).

Learn how humility breaks defensiveness, how to move from victim to overcomer, and why God’s unconditional love—not performance—defines your worth. This episode offers faith-filled, practical tools for healing after abuse and releasing perfectionism for good.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome back to the Saddle Up Segment

(01:10) Humility heals faster than defensiveness

(03:00) The barbed-wire tree: growing around suffering

(05:15) Moving from judgment to discernment with God’s eyes

(07:40) From victim to survivor to overcomer

(10:05) God’s unconditional love—identity before performance

(12:30) Key reminders to end the cycle

Key Takeaways:

Humility opens hearts where defensiveness closes them.
Pain doesn’t disappear—we grow stronger around it.
Judgment becomes discernment when we ask for God’s eyes.
You can move from victim → survivor → overcomer.
God’s love is unconditional—your worth isn’t earned.

Guest Bio (context):

For over twenty-five years, Andi has dedicated herself to the study of God’s word, graduating from the King’s University with her Master’s in 2003.

As she read the Bible through the eyes of a survivor of traumatic childhood abuse, she saw how God passionately seeks the lost, gently restores the broken, and tenderly heals broken hearts.

Andi became inspired to advocate for emotional well-being, not only for herself but also for the women she is privileged to mentor one-on-one and those she speaks to at conferences. The lessons and insights she gained are in her book, When Your Protectors Didn’t: Healing from a Past of Broken Pieces.

Raised in South Africa as a child, she now resides in sunny Southern California with her husband, daughter, and pups. She loves her family, friends, pups, and coffee—lots and lots of coffee!

Resource Links:

Listen to the full episode here! https://player.captivate.fm/episode/27abd1b8-860b-4770-8508-3021b19c465f/

Get Andi Bull’s book: When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect https://a.co/d/5naO43I
Learn more at lesakoski.com

Tags/Keywords:

healing after abuse, faith and healing, perfectionism, people pleasing, Saddle Up Segment, women over 40 podcast, Christian women, ending the cycle, judgment to discernment, overcoming trauma, identity in Christ, Andi Bull, When Your Protectors Didn’t

End the Cycle: Healing After Abuse, Judgment & Perfectionism with Andi Bull | Faith and Healing

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Healing after abuse, faith and healing, and ending generational cycles—this powerful conversation with author Andi Bull offers tools to stop perfectionism, release judgment, and embrace humble apologies that heal relationships. In this memoir-style episode, we explore how to end the cycle, why God’s love—not performance—defines identity, and practical ways to move from victim to survivor to overcomer. Throughout, we return to healing after abuse as a core theme, connecting it to anxiety, people-pleasing, and family patterns. If you’re ready for healing after abuse (or any hidden wound), this episode gives you language, lenses, and next steps. You’ll hear stories on motherhood, marriage, apology, and discernment that make healing after abuse actionable in daily life.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to ending the cycle: perfectionism, people-pleasing, and identity

(04:12) Guest shares insights on motherhood, adoption, and unconditional love in practice

(08:45) Humble apologies in marriage: how humility breaks defensiveness

(12:30) Performance vs. beloved identity: stopping the “earn love” lie

(16:05) Morning anxiety, gratitude, and inviting Jesus into honest emotions

(19:42) Seeing as God sees: non-judgment, modeling, and discerning “not from you”

(24:18) Suffering and growth: the barbed-wire tree and integrating grief

(28:10) From victim → survivor → overcomer: refusing to let pain define you

(31:40) Tools to end gossip and judgment while keeping relationships

(35:05) Parenting & grandparenting stories: unconditional love in the checkout line

(38:20) Practical takeaways and next steps to end generational patterns

Key Takeaways:

Identity first: You are loved before you perform; humility dismantles defensiveness.
End the cycle: Awareness + new responses (apology, curiosity, modeling) rewrite family patterns.
Judgment → discernment: Ask for God’s eyes and heart; sometimes the word is “not from you.”
Suffering integrates: We don’t “shrink” pain; we grow around it and become stronger.
Move stages: Acknowledge victimhood, heal as a survivor, live as an overcomer who helps others.

Guest Bio:

Guest Bio:

For over twenty-five years, Andi has dedicated herself to the study of God’s word, graduating from the King’s University with her Master’s in 2003.

As she read the Bible through the eyes of a survivor of traumatic childhood abuse, she saw how God passionately seeks the lost, gently restores the broken, and tenderly heals broken hearts.

Raised in South Africa as a child, she now resides in sunny Southern California with her husband, daughter, and pups. She loves her family, friends, pups, and coffee—lots and lots of coffee!

Resource Links:

Get Andi Bull’s book: When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect https://a.co/d/5naO43I
Learn more at lesakoski.com

Listen to Part 1 of the conversation — https://player.captivate.fm/episode/e87157ca-599f-4155-9b7e-3d577d1ee81d/

Tags/Keywords:

healing after abuse, faith and healing, end the cycle, perfectionism, people pleasing, humble apology, nonjudgment, Christian women, women over 40 podcast, survivor to overcomer, generational healing, identity in God, memoir podcast, Andy Bull, When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect

Saddle Up Segment: Healing, Faith & Overcoming Imposter Syndrome | Lessons from Andi Bull

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Healing, faith, and resilience are for everyone. In this Saddle Up Segment, Lesa Koski unpacks 5 key lessons from her powerful conversation with author Andi Bull (When Your Protectors Didn’t). Whether you’ve experienced abuse, battled perfectionism, or struggled with imposter syndrome, these takeaways will inspire you to embrace healing, see Scripture in a new way, and share your story with courage.

This episode is designed to help women over 40—and anyone navigating life’s challenges—apply these insights in everyday life and move forward with hope.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome to the Saddle Up Segment

(01:10) Healing is for all of us—not just survivors of abuse

(03:00) Seeing Scripture differently through the lens of healing

(05:15) Realizing dysfunction isn’t normal—and finding freedom

(07:20) Facing imposter syndrome and remembering identity in God

(09:10) Why sharing your story can change someone else’s life

(11:05) Final encouragement and key reminders

Key Takeaways:

Healing applies to perfectionism, people-pleasing, and anxiety—not just abuse.
God’s Word offers fresh meaning when seen through the lens of healing.
Dysfunction and unhealthy patterns are not “normal.”
Imposter syndrome shows up for everyone, but identity is rooted in God.
Your story matters and can bring hope and healing to others.

Guest Bio (context):

Andy Bull is the author of When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect, a powerful memoir about surviving childhood abuse and finding healing through faith. She speaks and writes to help women recognize their worth, embrace God’s love, and heal from the past.

Resource Links:

Listen to the full interview with Andi Bull: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/e87157ca-599f-4155-9b7e-3d577d1ee81d/
Get Andy’s book When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect: https://a.co/d/2TAlowg
Connect with Lesa Koski: lesakoski.com

Tags/Keywords:

healing after abuse, faith and healing, Saddle Up Segment, women over 40 podcast, perfectionism, people pleasing, imposter syndrome, Christian women podcast, memoir podcast, Andy Bull, When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect, resilience, storytelling and healing

Finding Healing After Abuse with Author Andi Bull | When Your Protectors Didn’t

Tue, 09 Sep 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Abuse recovery, healing, and faith collide in this powerful episode with author Andi Bull. Discover lessons from her book When Your Protectors Didn’t, and learn how to find hope, identity, and strength—even if you weren’t abused. This memoir-style conversation will inspire women to embrace healing, overcome imposter syndrome, and see their stories through God’s eyes.

Andi’s book transformed my perspective, showing me that healing is possible and biblical stories hold deeper meaning than I ever realized. Whether you’ve experienced trauma or simply battled perfectionism, people-pleasing, or anxiety, this episode will meet you where you are.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction: Why this episode is for every woman

(03:15) Meeting author Andy Bull and her powerful book When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect

(09:45) Overcoming perfectionism, people-pleasing, and performance anxiety

(15:28) Biblical lessons that transform how we see ourselves and God’s love

(22:40) Andy’s childhood abuse and the moment she realized her “normal” wasn’t normal

(31:10) How imposter syndrome shows up in writing, faith, and life

(39:55) Discovering surrender through hardship, cancer, and God’s presence

(48:20) Paradigm shifts: seeing life differently and suspending judgment

(55:45) The power of sharing your story to help others heal

Key Takeaways:

You don’t have to be abused to relate to abuse recovery—perfectionism and people-pleasing carry similar wounds.
Biblical stories hold fresh, healing insights when we look at them with open hearts.
Abuse and dysfunction are not normal, even if they’ve been your lived experience.
Imposter syndrome can be overcome by embracing identity as a daughter of the King.
Sharing your story is one of the most powerful ways to connect, heal, and empower others.

Guest Bio:

For over twenty-five years, Andi has dedicated herself to the study of God’s word, graduating from the King’s University with her Master’s in 2003.

As she read the Bible through the eyes of a survivor of traumatic childhood abuse, she saw how God passionately seeks the lost, gently restores the broken, and tenderly heals broken hearts.

Raised in South Africa as a child, she now resides in sunny Southern California with her husband, daughter, and pups. She loves her family, friends, pups, and coffee—lots and lots of coffee!

Resource Links:

Get Andi Bull’s book: When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect https://a.co/d/5naO43I
Learn more at lesakoski.com

Tags/Keywords:

abuse recovery, healing after abuse, childhood trauma, Christian healing, women over 40 podcast, people pleasing, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, memoir podcast, faith and healing, God’s love, When Your Protectors Didn’t Protect, Andy Bull

The Truth About Weight Loss Medications: Insights from Functional Practitioner Marie Simpson

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Episode Description

Weight loss medications are everywhere—but do they really work, and are they safe? Functional practitioner Marie Simpson shares expert insights, side effects, and natural alternatives.

In this Saddle Up segment of Doing Life Different, I recap my powerful conversation with Marie Simpson, a trusted functional assessment practitioner, about the rise of weight loss medications. We explore whether these drugs are truly necessary, their impact on muscle and bone health, and how lifestyle habits like high-protein nutrition, strength training, and joy-filled living can support lasting results.

Marie provides a functional medicine perspective on weight loss medications—what they do, when they’re helpful, what risks to watch for, and how to combine them with smarter health strategies. Whether you’re considering medication or looking for natural ways to boost weight loss, this episode gives you the clarity you need.

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction to weight loss medications and functional health

(02:15) What functional practitioners are saying about weight loss drugs

(05:12) Side effects and long-term considerations for patients

(08:40) The importance of muscle, protein, and bone density on these medications

(11:27) Lifestyle habits that mimic medication effects naturally

(14:05) Joy, stress reduction, and hormone balance for sustainable weight loss

(16:20) Final thoughts: better vs. best approaches to lasting health

Key Takeaways

Weight loss medications may help some people, but lifestyle changes remain essential.
Side effects exist—muscle loss and bone density decline are key concerns.
Prioritizing protein (30g per meal) and strength training is crucial whether on medication or not.
Stress reduction and joy play a major role in hormone balance and weight management.
Medications can be a bridge, but long-term health requires holistic strategies.

Guest Bio

Marie Simpson is a Functional Assessment Practitioner who helps clients uncover root causes of health challenges through a holistic approach. She integrates functional testing, personalized nutrition, and lifestyle strategies to support sustainable health and healing. Marie brings a balanced perspective to weight loss medications, blending science, practicality, and functional medicine wisdom.

Resource Links

Learn more about OsteoStrong for bone health: https://osteostrong.me
Connect with Lesa Koski: https://lesakoski.com
Listen to the full interview with Marie Simpson on Doing Life Different

Tags/Keywords

weight loss medications, weight loss drugs, functional medicine, holistic health, sustainable weight loss, protein nutrition, strength training, muscle loss, bone density, Marie Simpson, Lesa Koski, Doing Life Different podcast, Saddle Up segment, midlife weight loss, natural weight loss alternatives

GLP-1 Weight Loss Meds Explained: Risks, Results & Real Alternatives with Functional Medicine

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Episode Description

Weight loss medications, GLP-1, Ozempic alternatives, side effects, and sustainable weight loss—functional medicine practitioner Marie Simpson breaks it down. In this episode, we unpack how weight loss medications (GLP-1 receptor agonists) actually work, who they help, and where they can go wrong. We also share practical ways to boost satiety hormones naturally so you can see results—on or off meds. If you’re curious about weight loss medications, confused about the hype, or want a safer path, you’ll love Marie’s clear, balanced take on GLP-1 weight loss and real-world habits that last.

Timestamps (in parentheses)

(00:00) Introduction to weight loss medications & why everyone’s talking GLP-1

(02:18) How GLP-1s work: satiety, insulin, stomach emptying

(05:01) Why some were pulled; today’s versions & indications

(07:22) Bad → Better → Best: medication vs root-cause approach

(10:10) Caution on quick online prescribing & one-size-fits-all care

(12:04) Who benefits most from GLP-1 weight loss medications

(15:30) Muscle loss risk: why resistance training is non-negotiable

(18:15) What happens when you stop: rebound weight gain explained

(21:42) Natural ways to raise GLP-1: protein, fiber, healthy fats, meal order

(25:05) Slow carbs, cravings, and blood sugar balance

(28:17) Joy, stress & dopamine: your brain’s role in eating

(31:33) Post-meal 10-minute walks: small habit, big impact

(34:02) Side effects to know: GI issues, gallbladder, bowel obstruction, mood

(37:21) If you use meds, do this: training, protein targets, plan your exit

(40:00) Faith, grace & sustainable health: why “not perfect” still works

Key Takeaways

GLP-1 weight loss meds help satiety and blood sugar, but they’re not for everyone—and not a quick fix.
Stopping can regain 75–80% of lost weight without lifestyle changes; plan for strength, protein, and habits.
Expect 25–40% of scale loss to be lean mass without resistance training and adequate protein.
You can boost GLP-1 naturally: ~30g protein/meal, 30–40g fiber/day, healthy fats, “fiber/protein first” meal order, slow carbs, and a 10-minute walk after meals.
Side effects are real (GI upset, constipation/diarrhea, gallbladder issues, rare bowel obstruction, possible mood changes). Work with a practitioner.

Guest Bio

Marrie Simpson, FNP, Functional Medicine Practitioner — Founder of Elevate Health & Wellness, Marrie blends conventional and functional medicine to address root causes. She helps clients personalize nutrition, movement, and smart medication use (when needed) to create sustainable metabolic health and real-world results.

Resource Links

Work with Marie: marriesimpson.com
Lesa’s Protein Ball Recipe (flax + chia):
2 c oatmeal
1 c peanut butter or nut butter
1 c ground flaxseed
3/4 bag dark chocolate chips
TBS vanilla
a big scoop of Chia seeds

Tags/Keywords

weight loss medications, GLP-1 weight loss, GLP-1 receptor agonist, Ozempic alternatives, semaglutide weight loss, natural GLP-1 boost, muscle loss on GLP-1, sustainable weight loss, functional medicine weight loss, protein for weight loss, fiber for satiety, post-meal walk blood sugar, weight loss after 40, women’s metabolic health, Marrie Simpson, Doing Life Different podcast

Saddle Up Segment: From Struggle to Purpose: Attorney Mark Astor on Mental Health, Addiction & Taking Responsibility

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Attorney Mark Astor reveals how mental health law and the Florida Marchman Act save lives. Learn how taking responsibility, overcoming setbacks, and finding purpose can transform both families and communities. This episode highlights addiction recovery, mental health intervention, and the power of resilience.

Mark shares his personal story of failure, growth, and reinvention, plus his unique work helping families nationwide through Florida’s Marchman Act. If you or a loved one struggles with mental illness or addiction, this conversation offers both hope and actionable insight.

Timestamps

(00:00) Welcome to the Saddle Up Segment

(01:10) Highlight from Tuesday’s full episode with Mark Astor

(03:45) Comparing mental illness to other health challenges

(06:12) Mark Astor’s turning point: failure, responsibility, and growth

(09:24) Discovering purpose in helping families with addiction and mental health

(12:36) The Florida Marchman Act: a powerful legal tool for families

(16:52) Lessons for resilience, self-leadership, and service

Key Takeaways

Mental illness and addiction impact entire families, not just individuals.
Self-care and responsibility are essential to transformation.
The Marchman Act empowers families to intervene when a loved one refuses treatment.
Failure can be a launching pad for growth and purpose.
Taking responsibility for your own life opens the door to serving others.

Guest Bio

Mark Astor, Esq. is the only attorney in the United States who exclusively handles mental health and addiction-related legal cases. Based in Florida, he helps families nationwide navigate the Marchman Act and find pathways to recovery. His work combines legal strategy with compassion, giving families hope in their darkest moments.

Breaking the Stigma: How Attorney Mark Astor Helps Families Fight Addiction & Mental Health Battles

Tue, 26 Aug 2025 04:00:00 -0400

📄 Episode Description

Addiction and mental health law in Florida are changing lives—and Attorney Mark Astor is leading the way. In this episode, we uncover how families can navigate substance abuse, involuntary treatment, and the legal system to save their loved ones.

For over 30 years, Mark has dedicated his career to mental health and addiction law, empowering families to find solutions when recovery feels impossible. From his journey as a prosecutor to founding the only U.S. law firm focused exclusively on addiction and mental health, Mark shares why treatment, not punishment, is the real key to healing.

If you’ve ever struggled with addiction, mental illness, or watched a loved one suffer, this episode will open your eyes to new possibilities. Learn about Florida’s Marchman Act, Baker Act defense, and how families across the country are finding hope through legal intervention.

👉 Tune in now to discover how legal advocacy can transform recovery—and why mental health law matters more than ever.

⏱️ Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction to Attorney Mark Astor and his unique law firm

(04:52) Mark’s journey from prosecutor to addiction & mental health advocate

(10:15) The Marchman Act and how families can intervene legally

(18:33) Creative use of guardianship for substance abuse cases

(25:40) The rise of Baker Act defense in Florida

(34:20) COVID, marijuana legalization, and the changing addiction landscape

(42:05) How families nationwide can access help through Florida law

(50:16) The emotional toll of addiction on families and parallels to cancer recovery

(01:02:10) Resources, costs, and real-world outcomes for families in crisis

💡 Key Takeaways

Addiction and mental health issues often require legal intervention, not just medical treatment.
Florida’s Marchman Act and Baker Act provide unique pathways for families to secure treatment.
Guardianship statutes can be adapted to help families manage out-of-control behavioral health situations.
The stigma of being “selfish” in seeking help applies to families too—choosing intervention saves lives.
Building trust with the right professionals can change the trajectory of recovery.

👤 Guest Bio

Mark Astor, Esq. is the founder of the Law Offices of Mark Astor, the only U.S. law firm focused exclusively on mental health and addiction law. With over 30 years of legal experience, including five years as a prosecutor, Mark has pioneered the use of the Marchman Act, Baker Act defense, and guardianship strategies to help families intervene when addiction and mental illness take over. He and his team are recognized leaders in protecting families and advocating for treatment over punishment.

🔗 Resource Links

📌 Law Offices of Mark Astor: https://mentalhealthaddictionlawfirm.com
📞 Call Mark’s Office: (561) 419-6095

🎥 Daily Legal & Recovery Videos: YouTube Channel

🏷️ Tags/Keywords

addiction recovery, mental health law, Mark Astor, Florida Marchman Act, Baker Act defense, substance abuse law, involuntary commitment, addiction help Florida, family intervention legal, mental illness legal help, guardianship addiction, drug court Florida, mental health attorney, addiction resources, recovery law firm, mental health advocacy, legal help for families

Why Selfishness Is a Superpower: Key Takeaways from The Selfish Year with Val Jones

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Episode Description

Selfishness can actually make you stronger. In this Saddle Up episode of Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski unpacks key takeaways from her conversation with Val Jones, author of The Selfish Year and host of The Selfish Woman Podcast. Discover why being “selfish” is not only healthy but necessary for women over 40 navigating midlife, faith, and personal reinvention.

Lesa shares insights about people-pleasing, authenticity, and how small micro-steps of courage help women thrive after divorce, in midlife, and beyond. If you’ve ever felt guilty about putting yourself first, this episode will inspire you to see selfishness as a gift that leads to impact, joy, and freedom.

Keywords: selfishness as a superpower, women over 40, midlife reinvention, people-pleasing, The Selfish Year

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction to the Saddle Up segment

(01:15) Why selfishness isn’t bad—it’s powerful for women

(03:05) Key insight from Val Jones: helping more by putting yourself first

(05:12) How faith and authenticity connect to serving others

(07:00) The people-pleasing trap: superpower or downfall

(09:08) Using micro steps of courage to rewire old patterns

(11:22) Lesa’s real-life story of speaking truth with her daughters

(13:00) Call to action: take Val’s free quiz and reclaim your power

Key Takeaways

Prioritizing yourself can actually expand your impact on others.
Faith and authenticity are essential for living with purpose.
People-pleasing can be both a strength and a barrier—awareness is key.
Micro steps of courage rewire old patterns and build confidence.
Selfishness, reframed, is a path to freedom, joy, and deeper service.

Guest Bio

Val Jones is a women’s empowerment coach, podcast host, and author of The Selfish Year. She helps women move past guilt, people-pleasing, and perfectionism to embrace their authentic selves. Val hosts The Selfish Woman Podcast and offers resources and retreats designed to empower women in midlife and beyond.

Resource Links

Valerie Jones Website & Coaching: https://valeriejones.ca/
The Selfish Year (Book): https://valeriejones.ca/theselfishyear
The Selfish Woman Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-selfish-woman/id1598491354
Free “Queen of Your Life” Assessment: [insert link]

Connect with Lesa Koski → https://lesakoski.com

Tags/Keywords

selfishness as a superpower, the selfish year Val Jones, selfish woman podcast, midlife reinvention, people pleasing women, women over 40 podcast, self-care for women, faith and authenticity, women empowerment coaching, doing life different podcast, Lesa Koski

Why Being Selfish Can Save Your Life: Empowering Women After Divorce & Midlife Reinvention

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Episode Description

Being selfish isn’t wrong—it’s essential. In this episode of Doing Life Different, divorce coach and author Valerie Jones (“Val”) joins Lesa Koski for a raw, authentic conversation about why women must reclaim the word selfish to thrive after divorce, during midlife transitions, and beyond. Discover how prioritizing yourself leads to deeper connections, stronger faith, and greater service to others.

Val shares her journey of “The Selfish Year,” how she broke free from people-pleasing, and why midlife is the perfect invitation to reinvent your life. If you’ve ever felt guilty for putting yourself first, this conversation will help you shift your mindset, embrace your worth, and live with joy and purpose.

Keywords used naturally: selfish women, empowerment after divorce, midlife reinvention, self-care for women, healing after divorce.

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction: Why selfish isn’t a dirty word for women

(05:10) Val’s story: Two divorces, breaking cycles, and her “sofa moment”

(12:45) What “The Selfish Year” taught Val about self-care and service

(20:32) Midlife reinvention: Women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s rewriting their story

(28:05) People-pleasing, perfectionism, and the masks women wear

(35:40) Micro changes: How to build courage and create inner safety

(44:18) Becoming the queen of your life (or daughter of the King)

(53:12) Authenticity, humility, and learning to connect without fear

(59:50) Final reflections on joy, faith, and living differently

Key Takeaways

Being “selfish” is actually the pathway to deeper service, joy, and peace.
Midlife is an invitation to reinvent your life and align with your true self.
People-pleasing often hides fear and prevents real connection.
Small “micro changes” help build courage and rewire old patterns.
Identity is key: embracing being the queen of your life or daughter of the King transforms mindset and confidence.

Guest Bio

Valerie Jones is a women’s empowerment coach, podcast host, and author of The Selfish Year. After navigating two divorces and healing from an emotionally abusive marriage, Val redefined her life by choosing herself for the first time. She now helps women after divorce and midlife transitions break free from people-pleasing, reclaim their identity, and step into their power. She hosts The Selfish Woman Podcast and leads retreats and coaching programs worldwide.

Resource Links

Valerie Jones Website & Coaching: https://valeriejones.ca/
The Selfish Year (Book): https://valeriejones.ca/theselfishyear
The Selfish Woman Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-selfish-woman/id1598491354
Free “Queen of Your Life” Assessment: [insert link]
Connect with Lesa Koski: https://lesakoski.com

Tags/Keywords

selfish women, empowerment after divorce, midlife reinvention, self-care for women, healing after divorce, people-pleasing, perfectionism in women, midlife mindset, women over 40 podcast, women’s empowerment coaching, Valerie Jones The Selfish Year, The Selfish Woman Podcast, Lesa Koski Doing Life Different, faith and self-worth, reclaiming joy after divorce

How to Divorce Smarter: Avoid Court, Save Money & Protect Your Peace

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 03:00:00 -0400

📄 Episode Description:

Divorce mediation and flat-fee legal strategies can help you avoid court, save thousands, and protect your peace. Learn how to divorce smarter today.

In this episode of Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski interviews New Jersey attorney, mediator, and men’s divorce strategist John Nachlinger. Together, they reveal how the traditional divorce system often profits from your pain—and how you can take back control.

John shares how his flat-fee law firm helps couples resolve their divorce quickly, without unnecessary drama or legal costs. From emotional regulation to co-parenting and coaching, this episode explores how divorce can be done differently—with dignity, strategy, and support.

Whether you’re just starting the divorce process or want to avoid court altogether, this episode will help you understand how to divorce smarter, protect your children, and heal with purpose.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to guest John Nachlinger

(02:48) Why John left traditional divorce litigation

(05:35) Flat-fee divorce services vs. hourly billing

(09:12) How mediation speeds up the divorce process

(12:45) When divorce becomes a war—and how to stop it

(17:20) John's personal story of divorce, adoption, and co-parenting

(21:33) Are all exes narcissists? Understanding emotional dynamics

(27:58) Coaching men through divorce and emotional readiness

(32:49) Common mistakes men make during divorce

(37:20) How women can benefit when their ex has a coach

(40:05) The rise of mediation and decline of court dependency

(45:10) Final thoughts on divorce strategy and healing

💡 Key Takeaways:

The legal system often profits from family conflict—there is a better way.
Flat-fee divorce services help eliminate cost confusion and conflict.
Emotional regulation is critical to reaching fair outcomes.
Coaching men through divorce leads to healthier co-parenting and faster resolution.
Mediation is not just effective—it’s often the smartest choice for families.

👤 Guest Bio:

John Nachlinger is a New Jersey attorney, mediator, and founder of Net Squire, a flat-fee law firm designed to help clients divorce without destructive court battles. He’s also the creator of the Men’s Divorce Network and host of the podcast Get Divorced Without Getting Screwed. John specializes in coaching men through the emotional and legal complexities of divorce to reach faster, healthier resolutions.

🔗 Resource Links:

Net Squire Flat-Fee Divorce
Men’s Divorce Network – Support & Coaching
Get Divorced Without Getting Screwed Podcast
Lesa Koski – Mediation & Coaching

🏷️ Tags/Keywords:

divorce mediation, flat fee divorce, amicable divorce, divorce strategy, men’s divorce coach, co-parenting support, family law reform, John Nachlinger, Lesa Koski podcast, real talk after 40, get divorced without getting screwed, Net Squire, Men’s Divorce Network, emotional divorce support, collaborative divorce alternatives, doing life different podcast, divorce without court, divorce for men, divorce help for women

Saddle Up and Do Life Different: The Healing Power of Hope: How Mindset and Faith Help Us Through Life’s Hardest Moments

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 01:00:00 -0400

The Healing Power of Hope: How Mindset and Faith Help Us Through Life’s Hardest Moments

📝 Episode Description:

Hope isn't just wishful thinking—it’s a mindset that shapes our outcomes. Discover how hope, mindset, and faith can guide you through divorce, illness, or any hardship.

In this powerful Saddle Up segment, Lesa Koski reflects on the healing power of hope—how it played a role in her breast cancer journey and how it’s backed by research from William Miller’s 8 Ways to Hope. Learn how mindset, belief, and the words we speak can shift the atmosphere around pain and fear into one of resilience, clarity, and gratitude.

Whether you're going through a divorce, facing a diagnosis, or walking through hardship with a loved one, this episode will equip you to hold onto hope and take your next step forward.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction: Finding hope in hard times

(01:10) What the Bible and psychology say about hope

(02:28) Lesa’s cancer story and the power of her doctor’s words

(05:12) Why hope matters: mindset, healing, and resilience

(07:00) Hope vs. fear: how gratitude creates space for peace

(08:45) A quick plug for Tuesday’s episode on postnuptial agreements

(09:20) Final encouragement: pass hope on to someone today

✅ Key Takeaways:

Hope is a mindset that reduces anxiety, boosts resilience, and helps us problem-solve.
Words matter—positive, hope-filled language can change outcomes.
Surrounding yourself with positive people supports emotional healing.
Prayer, gratitude, and trusting others can deepen your sense of peace.
Hope is not naive—it’s a strategy for navigating uncertainty and adversity.

👤 Host Bio:

Lesa Koski is a divorce attorney turned mediator, coach, and podcast host of Doing Life Different. Her mission is to help women over 40 find faith, healing, and fresh starts—whether in divorce, marriage, or life transitions. Her Saddle Up segments offer bite-sized wisdom to help listeners do life better every week.

🔗 Resource Links:

🎧 Tuesday’s Episode on Postnuptial Agreements → [Insert Link]
📖 Book: 8 Ways to Hope by William Miller
💻 Learn more at www.lesakoski.com

🔍 Tags/Keywords:

hope and healing, mindset in hard times, faith and breast cancer, power of words, resilience podcast, doing life different, women over 40, gratitude and hope, divorce support, Lesa Koski podcast, breast cancer encouragement, 8 ways to hope

Postnups That Protect: Strengthening Marriage with Legal Clarity and Collaborative Agreements

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 14:05:00 -0400

🎧 Episode Description:

Discover how postnuptial agreements can help strengthen your marriage, clarify finances, and protect your future—whether you're navigating a life shift, building a business, or staying at home to raise kids. In this follow-up episode, collaborative attorney Melissa Miroslavich joins us again to explore how postnups work, when they make sense, and why they’re about resilience—not failure. This is essential listening for women planning wisely, staying married, or preparing for what-ifs.

Learn how postnups provide financial transparency, reduce conflict, and empower couples to create a shared vision. Whether you're already married or want to build your marital estate plan, this episode will give you new tools and insights for Doing Life Different.

Timestamps:

(00:00) Welcome back to Melissa Miroslavich

(01:42) What is a postnuptial agreement?

(04:08) When postnups make sense during marriage

(06:32) Financial transparency and disclosure

(10:15) Postnups and stay-at-home spouses

(13:28) Collaborative law vs traditional attorneys

(17:55) Why postnups are about resilience, not divorce

(21:40) Key limitations around custody and child support

(24:00) Legal enforceability and the 2-year rule

(28:43) Final thoughts and how to contact Melissa

🔑 Key Takeaways:

Postnuptial agreements are legal tools that protect both partners when life changes mid-marriage.
They provide financial clarity, especially in cases involving businesses, stay-at-home parenting, or inheritance.
In Minnesota, both parties must be represented by attorneys for a postnup to be valid.
Postnups are presumed unenforceable if divorce is filed within two years of signing—so plan wisely.
Collaborative law encourages honest conversations, shared goals, and marital resilience.

👩‍⚖️ Guest Bio:

Melissa Miroslavich is a collaborative attorney based in Woodbury, Minnesota, specializing in estate planning, prenuptial, and postnuptial agreements. Her heart-centered, education-focused approach helps couples create clarity and protect their values, whether staying married or planning for the future. She blends legal expertise with compassion, offering collaborative solutions for modern relationships.

🔗 Resource Links:

Connect with Melissa Miroslavich: https://www.miroslavichlaw.com/
Part 1 (Prenups Episode): https://player.captivate.fm/episode/b092e8d6-5c81-46c2-9e69-24167ff6657c/

📌 Tags/Keywords:

postnuptial agreements, collaborative law, marriage contracts, marital estate planning, prenuptial agreements, family law Minnesota, stay-at-home mom protection, divorce planning, marriage tools, financial planning marriage, Doing Life Different, Lesa Koski podcast, women and marriage, relationship transparency, legal tips for marriage

Saddle Up: Why a Prenup Might Be the Best Gift You Give Your Marriage

Thu, 17 Jul 2025 04:00:00 -0400

📝 Episode Description:

Can a prenup actually help prevent divorce? In this quick Saddle Up segment, Lesa Koski breaks down Tuesday’s episode with attorney Melissa Miroslavich and shares why prenuptial agreements might be one of the best ways to build a stronger, smarter marriage.

Whether you're single, engaged, divorced, or remarried, this 5-minute episode challenges the myths about prenups and explains how they set couples up for deeper commitment and clearer communication.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Recap of full episode with Melissa Miroslavich

(01:20) Why prenups get a bad rap

(02:05) How prenups clarify your commitment legally and spiritually

(03:18) What most couples don’t realize about marriage and the law

(04:35) Final encouragement to think differently about prenups

✅ Key Takeaways:

A prenup isn’t planning for divorce—it’s planning for clarity
Most couples don’t realize marriage is a binding legal contract
Discussing a prenup shows emotional maturity and builds trust
Working together on a prenup may actually strengthen your marriage

🎧 Listen to Tuesday’s Full Episode:

Can a Prenup Actually Strengthen Your Marriage? – with Melissa Miroslavich

🏷️ Tags/Keywords:

prenup, marriage advice, relationship tips, divorce prevention, marriage mindset, legal marriage planning, saddle up segment, Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different, faith and marriage, communication tools, premarital preparation

Should You Get a Prenup? How Legal Planning Can Strengthen (Not Sabotage) Your Marriage

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Should You Get a Prenup? How Legal Planning Can Strengthen (Not Sabotage) Your Marriage

📝 Episode Description:

Prenuptial agreements aren’t just for the rich and famous—they’re a powerful tool for protecting your marriage and your peace of mind. In this episode of Doing Life Different, attorney Melissa Miroslavich breaks down what a prenup is, why more couples should consider one, and how legal planning can actually reduce the chance of divorce.

Whether you're getting married, remarried, or just want to understand what you're committing to legally, this conversation will change the way you see prenuptial agreements. We also explore the emerging role of postnuptial agreements and the power of collaborative law to create respectful resolutions—even when emotions run high.

Melissa shares how couples can use prenups to clarify their financial values, communicate more openly, and avoid costly legal battles down the road. This episode is especially valuable if you're navigating divorce, thinking about marriage, or want to set your relationship up for long-term success.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Quick intro: Why this turned into a two-part series

(01:10) Meet Melissa Miroslavich and her path to collaborative law

(04:42) What is collaborative law and why it matters

(08:00) How collaborative divorce protects families and kids

(11:33) The value of financial neutrals and family specialists

(14:25) What is a postnup? And how does it help married couples?

(15:10) Introduction to prenuptial agreements

(18:00) Why prenups are misunderstood—and how they strengthen marriage

(22:01) Financial transparency and setting expectations

(25:32) Are prenups enforceable in every state?

(27:50) Can prenups be challenged in court?

(32:05) Melissa’s advice for using prenups to reduce divorce conflict

(36:40) Why prenups are more about communication than control

(40:12) Final thoughts: Empowerment through legal clarity

✅ Key Takeaways:

A prenuptial agreement is a proactive tool—not a predictor of divorce
Collaborative law focuses on family-first solutions, not courtroom battles
Postnups can help already-married couples clarify finances and avoid conflict
Legal planning in advance helps reduce emotional and financial strain later
Prenups promote financial transparency, communication, and mutual respect

👩‍⚖️ Guest Bio:

Melissa Miroslavich is a Minnesota-based attorney specializing in collaborative law, prenuptial/postnuptial agreements, and estate planning. With a background in business and a passion for client-centered solutions, Melissa helps families navigate legal planning with empathy and integrity. She serves on the board of the Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota and is dedicated to helping couples resolve issues without unnecessary conflict.

🔗 Resource Links:

Melissa’s Website: https://www.miroslavichlaw.com/
Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota: https://www.collaborativelaw.org
Find a Collaborative Attorney (IACP): https://www.collaborativepractice.com

🏷️ Tags/Keywords:

prenuptial agreement, postnuptial agreement, collaborative law, how to stay married, divorce prevention, legal planning for marriage, marriage and money, estate planning, women over 40, relationship advice, how to not get divorced, co-parenting, family law, peaceful divorce, conflict resolution, Lesa Koski podcast

From Divorce to Deadlifts: How Kristina Ganow Transformed Her Life Through Fitness

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 03:00:00 -0400

After divorce and burnout, Kristina Ganow lost 70 pounds, rebuilt her health, and found purpose through fitness coaching. Discover how small changes can reshape your future.

In this episode of Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski Divorce, Love & Reinvention After 40, Lesa Koski sits down with health coach Kristina Ganow to unpack her inspiring story of post-divorce transformation. From emotional burnout to competing in powerlifting competitions at 40+, Kristina shares how focusing on simple nutrition, weight training, and habits of health helped her lose 70 pounds and rediscover joy.

This conversation is full of real-life tools and mindset shifts for any woman navigating a hard season—especially in midlife. Whether you’re dealing with divorce, parenting stress, or feeling stuck in your health journey, Kristina’s practical advice and authentic vulnerability will inspire you to start small and build a strong, sustainable life.

⏱️ Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction to Kristina Ganow and her transformation journey

(04:45) Life after divorce: juggling motherhood, burnout, and big changes

(09:20) How Kristina lost 70 pounds and changed her mindset

(14:10) From car crash to coaching: rediscovering fitness after 40

(17:58) Why Kristina started lifting weights and joined a powerlifting team

(23:40) The truth about muscle loss, protein, and aging well

(29:18) Healthy habits: sleep, stress, and smart food swaps

(34:05) How community, coaching, and accountability changed everything

(40:25) Best tips for women going through divorce or life transitions

(47:02) How to connect with Kristina and start your health journey

🔑 Key Takeaways:

Small, consistent changes—like increasing protein and walking—can transform health.
Women over 40 benefit most from lifting weights and building lean muscle for longevity.
Prioritizing sleep, managing stress, and joining a supportive community are essential.
You don't have to do it all at once—start with one habit and build momentum.
Coaching and accountability can help women rebuild confidence after divorce or loss.

👩‍⚕️ Guest Bio:

Kristina Ganow is a certified health coach, former social worker and teacher, and mom of four. After navigating divorce, motherhood, and burnout, she lost 70 pounds and found her passion for fitness. Now she coaches women 35+ in creating lasting health through nutrition, strength training, and community. Her mission is to help women feel strong, empowered, and ready for what’s next.

🔗 Resource Links:

🔗 Follow Kristina on Instagram
📧 Email: Kristinaganow@gmail.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachkristinagetsfit/
🛠️ Habits of Health by Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen
💪 Lesa’s podcast and mindset resources: lesakoski.com

Saddle Up Segment: Embracing Imperfect Parenting with Love & Grace

Thu, 26 Jun 2025 03:01:00 -0400

Parenting Through Challenges: A Personal Story and Helpful Insights

In this episode of the Saddle Up segment, the Lesa shares a personal story about parenting differences with her husband, illustrating how each parent can contribute uniquely, even when approaches differ. She emphasizes that her podcast is for women facing various hardships, not just divorce. Reflecting on a past conversation with attorneys about parenting through divorce, she reassures listeners that having one healthy, caring parent is enough for children to thrive. The host also highlights the importance of not making situations scarier than they need to be and encourages listeners to live a happy, fun life while recapping her previous podcast episode.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:12 About the Podcast

00:29 Parenting Through Divorce

01:36 Personal Parenting Story

02:56 Parenting Differences and Advice

03:51 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Divorce Done Right: Empathy, Boundaries, and Co-Parenting Wisdom

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 03:00:00 -0400

in this episode, host Lesa Koskiis joined by matrimonial attorneys Morgan Mazor and Lauren Crane from New York City to discuss the complex topics of co-parenting and divorce. The discussion covers practical tips for managing summer custody arrangements, the importance of forward-thinking in divorce proceedings, and the need for creative and collaborative approaches to achieve the best outcomes for families. Both attorneys share their personal journeys into matrimonial law and emphasize the significance of controlling emotions and communication during divorce. They also provide insights into the lengthy divorce process in New York and stress the effectiveness of mediation and coaching to facilitate smoother divorces.

00:00 Introduction and Technical Difficulties

00:33 Meet the Guests: Morgan Mazor and Lauren Crane

01:36 Lauren's Journey into Matrimonial Law

03:42 Morgan's Path and the Importance of Creativity in Law

08:06 The Challenges of Co-Parenting During Summer

12:01 The Importance of Mediation and Creative Solutions

20:31 The Lengthy Divorce Process in New York

25:59 The Role of Mediation in Resolving Cases

31:26 Conclusion and Contact Information

Bender & Crane

Saddle Up Segment: Why Self-Sacrifice Isn’t Love: A Real Talk on Boundaries

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this week's Saddle Up segment, Lesa shares key takeaways from Tuesday's special episode. Despite being stood up by a guest for the first time on the podcast, Lesa reflects on her personal experiences, including her 34-year marriage and battle with stage one breast cancer, to discuss the importance of setting boundaries and reigniting passions from childhood. She emphasizes that self-sacrifice should not come at the cost of one's own well-being. The episode encourages listeners to take responsibility for their choices, set boundaries, and nurture self-love to better serve others.

00:00 Introduction and Recap of Tuesday's Episode

01:12 The Importance of Setting Boundaries

02:22 Personal Experiences and Lessons Learned

02:39 Reigniting Passions and Self-Care

03:47 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The Power of Boundaries: Self-Care Lessons from 34 Years of Marriage

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this unique episode of 'Doing Divorce Different,' Lesa navigates an unexpected situation and shares profound insights on self-care and its importance in building stronger marriages. Drawing from her own experiences, including a 34-year marriage, a breast cancer journey, and personal growth, she discusses self-sacrifice, setting boundaries, and reconnecting with personal passions. Highlighting the significance of taking care of oneself to improve overall happiness and relationships, she offers practical advice and reflections aimed at both married and divorced listeners. This heartfelt and candid episode emphasizes the value of self-awareness, fun, and joy in life and relationships.

00:00 Introduction and Unexpected Situation

00:31 Reflecting on Personal Experiences

01:34 The Importance of Self-Care

03:03 Discovering Personal Joys

08:55 Setting Boundaries in Marriage

11:51 Building a Healthy Relationship

16:50 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Saddle Up Segment: Keeping the Spark Alive

Thu, 12 Jun 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of Doing Divorce Different's Saddle Up Segment, Lesa welcomes relationship expert Laurie Gerber to discuss how to keep the fire burning in long-term marriages. The conversation covers personal realizations about prioritizing marriage, Laurie's journey from business coaching to relationship coaching, and practical advice for improving intimacy and connection with your partner. Listeners are encouraged to set relationship goals, self-reflect, and consider practical steps to strengthen their marriages. Lori also shares her personal experiences and strategies that have helped her maintain a strong, intimate connection with her husband.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:08 Laurie Gerber's Journey to Relationship Coaching

02:03 The Turning Point in Lori's Marriage

03:31 Communication Breakdown and Breakthrough

10:14 Writing Your Relationship Dream

11:52 Personal Accountability and Self-Improvement

12:56 Balancing Marriage and Personal Life

21:21 Concluding Thoughts and Contact Information

https://heidifriedman.com

Love Lessons After Divorce: Heidi Friedman’s Path to True Partnership

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, the Lesa greets a new guest, attorney and author Heidi Friedman, whose recent book, *Love Lessons 104 Dates, and the Stories That Led Me to True Love*, provides insightful wisdom on relationships. Heidi shares her journey post-divorce, her decade-long dating experiences, and the 11 core lessons she identified through research and personal development. These lessons include themes like the importance of self-improvement, staying open to opportunities, not settling, and finding a partner who helps you become your best self. The discussion dives deep into maintaining authentic relationships, mutual support in partnerships, and embracing personal growth both before and during a marriage.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:35 Heidi's Personal Journey and Divorce

02:05 Dating and Finding True Love

03:56 Writing the Book and Lessons for Her Kids

04:26 Impact of the Book on Readers

06:56 Discussing the 11 Lessons

10:44 Key Lessons: Putting Yourself Out There and Not Settling

15:57 The Importance of Mutual Support in Relationships

17:34 Starting the Day with Balance

17:54 Moving to California and the Bar Exam

18:31 Teamwork in Modern Marriages

19:42 Themes of Great Marriages

20:02 The Importance of Feeling Safe

21:35 Embracing Authenticity in Relationships

24:06 Supporting Each Other's Best Self

25:21 Valentine's Day and Self-Love

27:06 Navigating Dating and Relationships

29:06 Concluding Thoughts and Future Plans

Heidi Friedman Bio

Heidi B. Friedman, formerly Goldstein and born Eisman, is a successful attorney and partner at a large law firm specializing in all areas of environmental law and environmental, social and governance (ESG) based counseling. Love Lessons is her first book, but Heidi has written regularly for Bloomberg, Law 360, and other publications related to her professional life and experience as a female lawyer.

Heidi lives in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, with her husband Will, and their joint baby, Felix, a cur mix they rescued. Will is Heidi's do-over after being single for almost 10 years and surviving 104 dates.

Heidi has four children. Two children she birthed, Morgan (25) and Zach (21) and two are her bonus children, Max (28) and Ben (26). Heidi and Will greatly enjoy traveling as well as spending time with friends. Heidi likes walks around Shaker Lakes, her time at yoga and Pilates, and date nights at a bar with Will. In her life, she has a strong network of amazing women who she treasures and who provide support, guidance and company for drinking wine.

http://www.instagram.com/lovelessons104

Saddle Up Segment: Supporting Families Through Divorce and Special Needs Challenges

Thu, 05 Jun 2025 03:00:00 -0400

This week's Saddle Up segment emphasizes the importance of amicable cooperation in divorce, especially when children are involved. Key takeaways from Tuesday's 'Doing Divorce' episode with Dr. Peggy Price, who is both an attorney and a mother of a special needs child, were discussed. The segment highlights the critical need for detailed parenting plans, particularly for special needs children, considering financial support and caregiving challenges. Dr. Peggy Price's book, available on Amazon, is recommended for further guidance. Listeners are encouraged to reach out for more information and to revisit the informative Tuesday episode.

00:00 Introduction to Saddle Up Segment

00:16 Key Takeaway: Amicable Divorce

00:34 Support Systems in Divorce

00:47 Focus on Children

01:13 Special Needs Children in Divorce

02:15 Financial Considerations

03:21 Parenting Plans and Flexibility

03:57 Conclusion and Resources

Navigating Divorce with Special Needs Challenges: Dr. Price’s Insights on Justice and Inclusion

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, host Lesa Koski welcomes Dr. Price—a trailblazing attorney, educator, and autism therapist—who shares her extraordinary journey of combining legal expertise with a deep commitment to justice and special needs advocacy.

With over 25 years of experience as a civil trial attorney and prosecutor, Dr. Price has served as an expert witness and consultant in more than 75 cases involving special needs issues. She brings a unique perspective to the table, highlighting the intersection of law, public service, and personal advocacy.

Now an esteemed professor and Academic Program Director at National University, Dr. Price continues to shape future leaders, drawing on her award-winning teaching skills and unparalleled dedication. She’s also trained in the Judevine method for autism therapy, providing an added layer of insight into the needs of individuals with special needs.

Tune in for an inspiring conversation about breaking barriers, finding purpose, and leading with compassion.

Key Takeaways:

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:18 Peggy's Background and Personal Story

02:36 Challenges of Divorcing with Special Needs Children

07:11 Financial and Legal Considerations

11:22 Parenting Plans and Custody Arrangements

15:26 Support Systems and Resources

31:33 Conclusion and Resources Dr. Price’s legal background intersects with special needs advocacy

Saddle Up Segment: When Self-Work Saves the Relationship

Thu, 29 May 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this week's Saddle Up segment on Doing Divorce Different, Lesa chats with seasoned marriage and family therapist Dr. Becky Whetstone about essential tips for building strong marriages. Despite her own experiences with divorce, remarriage, and raising kids, Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and addressing personal traumas. Highlighting insights from the book 'Facing Codependence' by PM Melody, the discussion delves into understanding core wounds for healthier relationships. Additionally, the segment discusses the influence of shared religious practices on marriage and previews Dr. Whetstone's book 'I Think I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage.'

00:00 Introduction to Dr. Becky Whetstone

01:11 Key to a Strong Marriage: Work on Yourself

02:32 The Role of Shared Spiritual Practices

04:17 Upcoming Discussions and Dr. Becky's Book

04:54 Conclusion and Next Steps

Heal Yourself, Strengthen Your Marriage with Dr. Becky

Tue, 27 May 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this heartfelt and insightful episode of Doing Divorce Different, host Lesa Koski reconnects with renowned family therapist and author Dr. Becky Whetstone to unpack the inner work that supports thriving marriages. Together, they explore why personal healing is essential—not just helpful—for relationship success.

From the lingering effects of childhood trauma to the power of daily habits, Dr. Becky shares practical tools for self-awareness, boundary-setting, and boosting emotional resilience. You'll hear about therapeutic techniques like neurolinguistic programming and core wound healing, as well as simple but powerful strategies like community engagement and physical activity.

Whether you're trying to repair a strained relationship or want to prevent divorce before it’s even on the radar, this episode delivers a powerful message: your marriage is only as healthy as you are.

Key Topics:

Why self-care is relationship care
How trauma affects love and attachment
The importance of emotional boundaries
Building self-esteem through self-awareness
Daily habits that support emotional stability
Tools for ongoing personal development

📌 Stay tuned—Dr. Becky will return soon to dive deeper into the impact of childhood trauma on adult relationships.

Becky's book

Becky

Saddle Up: 3 Signs You're Ready for a Peaceful Divorce

Thu, 22 May 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this week's Saddle Up segment, Lesa shares insights from a recent podcast with Kimberly Miller of Part Wise, focusing on amicable divorces. Key points discussed include signs that indicate readiness for an amicable divorce, the importance of focusing on the future, open communication, and seeking clarity. Lesa emphasizes the benefits of mediation and collaborative law, advising listeners to work together for the well-being of their children and a smoother transition. The episode underscores that the process, though challenging, can lead to positive outcomes when managed thoughtfully and collaboratively.

00:00 Introduction to Saddle Up Segment

00:27 Recap of Podcast with Kimberly Miller

02:23 Signs You're Ready for Amicable Divorce

02:52 Importance of Communication and Mediation

03:36 Focusing on the Future and Clarity

04:26 Advice for Parents Going Through Divorce

05:21 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Redefining Divorce: Compassionate Law and Holistic Support with Kimberly Miller

Tue, 20 May 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with Kimberly Miller—an attorney and licensed marriage and family therapist—who is changing the way divorce is approached. With a dual background in law and therapy, Kimberly shares how her work bridges legal strategy with emotional intelligence to support families through respectful, amicable transitions.

We explore her journey from courtroom advocate to holistic practitioner, the power of mediation, and the inspiration behind Part Wise—an educational platform designed to demystify divorce and empower those navigating it.

What You'll Learn:

How Kimberly integrates legal and therapeutic practices
Why collaborative divorce leads to better outcomes
What Part Wise offers and how it's changing divorce education
Tips for finding peace and clarity in the midst of legal transitions

Twin Cities divorce professional Kimberly Miller, JD, LMFT, CFP®, CDFA®, is known for her ability to resolve challenging family issues without resort to aggressive legal strategies that are damaging to vital family relationships. After years of litigating business and family disputes at a prominent national firm, she recognized the devastating psychological and financial impact that litigation can have on individuals, couples, and other loved ones. She decided to establish her own practice to promote alternative forms of dispute resolution, such as collaborative law and mediation, to reach consensus.

Resources:

🔗 Visit Part Wise

🎧 Listen in and discover a better, kinder way to move forward after divorce.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges. Whether you're looking for practical advice, heartfelt stories, or simply a supportive community of like-minded women, saddle up and join us on this exhilarating ride.

Downsize to Uplift: Tami Wollensak on Divorce, Co-Parenting, and Redefining Home

Tue, 13 May 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, Lesa welcomes Tami Wollensak, known as the voice of reason for homeowners navigating divorce. They discuss Tami's inspirational story of personal growth and resilience after divorce, specifically her decision to downsize her home for financial and emotional stability. Tami shares the challenges she faced in maintaining a large home post-divorce and how she and her ex-husband remained focused on their children's well-being. The conversation emphasizes the importance of realistic budgeting and adjusting to new financial circumstances post-divorce. The episode concludes with Tami's take on the current volatile housing market and practical advice for those making housing decisions amid fluctuating interest rates.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:24 Tami's Journey Through Divorce

01:53 Challenges of Keeping the House

05:58 Financial Realities and Downsizing

12:10 Co-Parenting and Maintaining Focus on Kids

23:16 Reflections and Personal Growth

25:58 Current Housing Market Insights

31:15 Conclusion and Additional Resources

https://www.newamericanfunding.com/mortgage-loans/tamiwollensak

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Divorce Is Not the End: How to Grow, Heal, and Reclaim Your Joy

Thu, 08 May 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, Lesa shares her experiences and insights on empowering women through challenging times, particularly focused on divorce. Emphasizing the importance of amicable separations when possible, she discusses the difficulties and emotional challenges that accompany divorce. Lesa also highlights how embracing and sitting with your sadness, alongside maintaining gratitude, can lead to personal growth and a better future. She encourages listeners to see divorce as an opportunity for change and improvement, and offers her support through consultations to help navigate these hard times. Additionally, she introduces an upcoming guest, Tammy Wallensak, who will share her inspiring story of overcoming adversity.

00:00 Introduction and Personal Update

00:08 Empowering Women and Divorce Consultations

01:44 Challenges in Amicable Divorces

02:54 Embracing and Processing Sadness

03:57 Gratitude and Personal Growth

04:14 Advice for Married Couples and Parents

07:01 Raising Resilient Children

08:00 Hope and Responsibility in Hard Times

08:50 Conclusion and Upcoming Episodes

Putting Kids First: Amicable Divorce & Co-Parenting with Dr. Becky

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, Lesa Koski is joined by Dr. Becky, a family and marriage therapist with personal experience in divorce and co-parenting. They discuss the adversarial nature of the family law process and the importance of pursuing amicable divorces for the well-being of children. Becky shares insights on how to manage co-parenting post-divorce, the psychological effects of divorce on children, and the complexities of blended families. The conversation emphasizes putting children's needs first and avoiding negative influences from friends and family. Dr. Becky also presents her approach of therapists managing amicable divorce processes to help families navigate this challenging time more smoothly.

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

00:38 Discussing Divorce and Parenting

01:19 Challenges in the Family Law Process

02:24 The Importance of Amicable Divorce

03:36 Personal Experiences and Advice

14:39 Impact of Divorce on Children

16:12 Blended Families and Stepparent Dynamics

21:16 Concluding Thoughts and Advice

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When a Marriage Starts to Fade: Dr. Becky Wetstone on Healing, Self-Growth & Divorce

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 03:00:00 -0400

✨ Episode Summary:

In this insightful two-part episode of Doing Divorce Different, I sit down with the incredible Dr. Becky Whetstone—a licensed marriage and family therapist with both professional expertise and personal experience in navigating the emotional terrain of marriage, divorce, and everything in between.

Together, we explore the often-unspoken stages of a dying marriage, what those red flags look and feel like, and how to move from heartbreak to healing through intentional self-growth.

Whether you're working to rebuild your marriage or learning to let go with grace, this conversation will leave you with practical wisdom, hope, and a fresh perspective on your journey.

💬 What We Talk About in This Episode:

The 5 emotional stages of a dissolving marriage
What “detachment” looks like (and how to notice it early)
Why self-care is essential—not selfish—during relationship challenges
How to reframe divorce as a season of growth, not failure
Why spending time alone post-divorce is one of the most healing steps you can take
What Dr. Becky learned from her own marriage, divorce, and rediscovery process

🧡 Key Quotes from Dr. Becky:

“The earlier we name the pain, the more chance we have to heal it.”

“Divorce isn’t a failure—it’s a transition. And transitions are where growth begins.”

“Your next relationship begins with the one you have with yourself.”

🎧 Listen if You’re Ready To...

Understand what’s really going wrong in your marriage
Make empowered decisions for your future
Shift from blame and shame into clarity and confidence
Learn how to grow through what you’re going through

📚 Want to dive deeper? Be sure to check out Dr. Becky’s book here and join us next week as we continue the conversation around parenting post-divorce.

Find Becky here: https://marriagecrisismanager.com/

Find Lesa at Lesakoski.com

Mentioned in this episode:

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Gray Divorce, Real Talk: What No One Tells You After 50

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 03:00:00 -0400

Divorce after 50—often called gray divorce—comes with its own unique challenges and hidden truths. In this eye-opening episode of Doing Divorce Different, I sit down with seasoned attorney Michelle to dive deep into the emotional, financial, and relational complexities of gray divorce.

Whether you’re an empty nester questioning your future, someone who’s felt controlled or stuck in a long-term marriage, or a woman wondering if there’s still time to rebuild her life—this episode is for you.

We’re talking real talk:

💬 Why more couples are divorcing later in life

💬 The financial shock that often hits non-working spouses

💬 What "control" really looks like in a marriage

💬 How to plan for your future with clarity, not fear

💬 The emotional toll of adult children taking sides—and how to rise above it

This episode is filled with wisdom, warmth, and practical steps for women who want to face this season with strength and grace.

🎧 Listen now to find out what no one tells you about gray divorce—and how to move forward with confidence.

What You’ll Learn:

The emotional and financial realities of gray divorce
How to identify hidden patterns of control
The importance of a “Plan B” if you’ve been out of the workforce
Why collaborative divorce may offer more peace
How to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the next chapter!

● SOCIAL LINKS: Michele on LinkedIn and

● WEBSITE: Here https://www.michelelocke.com/

● CELL NUMBER: 512-820-6252 (call or text)

EMAIL: michele@coldwellbowes.com

Coaching and mediation with Lesa:
Connect with me: www.lesakoski.com | @lesakoski

Mentioned in this episode:

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Book Your Name is Daughter

Should I Stay or Should I Go? How to Know—and What Comes Next

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of 'Doing Divorce Different,' the host discusses the complexities and emotional aspects of contemplating and going through a divorce. Emphasizing the preference for amicable divorces, the host provides insights on when it might be time to divorce, the importance of personal growth within a marriage, and how to effectively prepare for the divorce process. Key points include the value of coaching, therapy, and building a support team, understanding legal and financial aspects, and the significance of a well-planned parenting strategy for those with children. The host also stresses the importance of being informed and prepared to ensure a smoother transition and a better post-divorce life.

00:00 Introduction and Purpose

00:36 Understanding Amicable Divorce

01:43 Efforts to Save Your Marriage

03:41 The Importance of Self-Improvement

05:46 Navigating Divorce Mediation

07:30 Making the Decision to Divorce

07:57 Gathering Information and Building a Support Team

09:52 Financial Considerations During Divorce

15:49 Focusing on Children and Parenting Plans

16:38 Handling Property and Housing Concerns

18:26 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton

Frownies

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Navigating Divorce with Strength and Clarity

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this heartfelt episode, the host welcomes her dear friend and divorce real estate expert, Tami Wollensak, to discuss the complexities of divorce. They explore Tami's personal and professional journey through a challenging divorce, highlighting the importance of mediation and mindful decision-making. Tami shares invaluable tips on maintaining mental health during stressful transitions, including meditation and lifestyle changes. The episode emphasizes empowering women, especially those over 40, to navigate divorce with clarity, focusing on the well-being of children and future financial stability. Listeners are encouraged to educate themselves and form support teams to ensure a smoother, more informed divorce process.

00:00 Introduction and Special Guest Announcement

00:35 Tami's Personal Journey Through Divorce

00:54 Empowering Women Through Transitions

05:31 The Importance of Self-Care During Divorce

12:27 Tami's Divorce Story

17:07 Navigating Divorce Mediation

24:10 Reflecting on the End of a Marriage

26:30 Navigating Financial Challenges Post-Divorce

Find Tami Here! https://calendly.com/tamiwollensak/30-minute-meeting-divorce?hsLang=en&month=2025-01

Mentioned in this episode:

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From Surviving to Thriving: Financial Independence After Abuse

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of 'Doing Divorce Different,' Lesa welcomes financial expert Victoria Kirilloff, who shares her personal journey of escaping an abusive relationship and provides in-depth advice on maximizing spousal support during divorce. The discussion aims to empower women by addressing the importance of financial independence, understanding trauma bonds, and the value of proper financial planning during significant life transitions. Victoria also touches on the use of unique techniques like isochronic tones for personal healing and the critical role of building a supportive network.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:18 Victoria's Personal Journey

06:31 Understanding Trauma Bonds

11:07 Breaking Free and Seeking Help

21:56 Maximizing Spousal Support

33:05 Services and Closing Remarks

Victoria Kirilloff, CDFA®, NCPM®, CDS®, was at a crossroads in a decade-long, financially entangled relationship that had turned toxic. To find her way out, she leveraged her background in financial analysis, creating the first Global Settlement Proposal and divorce report. This helped her and her partner reach a peaceful separation, sparking an idea: she could help others navigate divorce with financial clarity and empowerment.

Victoria went on to found Divorce Analytics, a firm dedicated to making the financial side of divorce transparent and productive. By focusing on financial facts, she transforms divorce from a destructive process into one of empowerment.

Victoria has also released a 9-part Divorce Planning Kit, available at DivorceAnalytics.com/shop. Along with her many financial licenses, she’s a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Certified Divorce Specialist®, and Nationally Certified Professional Mediator®.

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https://linktr.ee/LesaKoski

Marrie Simpson’s Metabolic Reset Functional Assessment Practitioner

jjflizanes.com/lesa Core Wounds and Mindset Course

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Frownies

Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton

Mentioned in this episode:

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From Core Wounds to Confidence: Transformative Lessons with JJ Flizanes

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 03:00:00 -0400

In this week's episode of 'Doing Divorce Different,' we revisit a transformative conversation with JJ Flizanes, an expert in emotional healing. The host reflects on the profound impact JJ's courses have had on her life and discusses core emotional wounds. JJ elaborates on her 'Roadmap to Emotional Healing' course and the importance of understanding and processing one's emotions. They also explore the topics of self-empowerment, the mind-body connection, and overcoming fears related to health and disease. The host shares personal stories of emotional challenges and healing, highlighting the benefits of JJ's teachings.

00:00 Introduction and Special Episode Announcement

00:55 Welcoming JJ Flizanes

01:23 Discussing JJ's Courses and Emotional Healing

02:04 Understanding and Managing Unwanted Feelings

04:35 Exploring the Concept of Core Wounds

06:52 The Power of Belief and Epigenetics

09:02 Personal Stories and Medical Experiences

14:15 The Importance of Self-Trust and Intuition

23:15 Understanding the Core Wound Map

23:35 The Roadmap Course: A Self-Study Journey

24:10 The Power of Recognizing Patterns

25:02 The Importance of Changing Habits

25:25 Critique of Traditional Talk Therapy

25:49 The Role of Different Healing Modalities

26:42 Identifying and Addressing Core Wounds

29:58 Personal Stories and Core Wounds

33:15 The Impact of Emotional Processing

37:41 Reflecting on Childhood Memories

41:26 Final Thoughts and Course Information

https://linktr.ee/LesaKoski

Mentioned in this episode:

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https://www.facebook.com/groups/loveasaverb

New Year, New Beginnings: Thriving Through Divorce in 2025 with Laurie Gerber

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Navigating Life After Divorce: Expert Tips from Laurie Gerber

We are so pleased to welcome back life coach Laurie Gerber, who shares invaluable insights about dating after divorce and finding love later in life. With over 20 years of experience in life coaching, Laurie discusses the importance of understanding one’s history and making intentional dating choices. We delve into identifying personal patterns, addressing past mistakes, and re-evaluating what one truly wants in a partner. Laurie also emphasizes the significance of not rushing into new relationships and provides practical tips to date effectively. The conversation highlights the broader applicability of these principles to various aspects of life, aiming to help listeners build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:09 Lauriei's Background and Experience

02:21 Finding Love After Divorce

04:01 Steps to Successful Dating

04:49 Understanding Personal History

07:17 The Three H's Method

09:39 Knowing What You Want

13:59 Assets and Liabilities in Dating

18:57 Conclusion and Upcoming Webinar

Laurie Gerber

Founder, Laurie Gerber Coaching, Inc.

Laurie Gerber is one of the most engaging and effective life coaches and presenters in the country.

After holding several positions at Handel Group® over the last 20 years, including President of HG Life, Laurie is currently licensing The Handel Method® and running Laurie Gerber Coaching, Inc. focusing on LOVE coaching.

Laurie has appeared on the Today Show, Dr, Phil, MTV and A & E and been the resident love expert at Match, Zoosk, Jdate, and many more.

She has been presenting to and coaching individuals, couples, and groups, with a wide range of partners including: the dating sites above, General Assembly, She Tribe, BeSocialChange, IvyConnect, Ellevate, and many more. She has appeared on television shows, podcasts, radio shows, and all over the internet. Check out “The Secret-Free Diet”, her TedX talk on the power of truth telling.

When not working from her NYC townhouse, she’s meditating, jogging, or attempting to get cuddles from her 10, 20 and 22-year old kids and husband of 26 years.

GIVE AWAY:

For more of Laurie's dating resources check out her FREE webinar:

"3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love without Repeated Disappointments"

Learn:

✅The biggest mistake women make that prevents them from finding their happily ever after

✅The 3 Essential Ingredients to finding a suitable companion for long-term commitment

✅Why you need to implement the 3-date strategy to find your soulmate in WAY less dates.

REGISTER HERE: www.lauriegerber.com/webinar

Visit lauriegerber.com

Free Facebook group: Relationship Tips: Love as a Verb: Dating for Women over 50

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/

Youtube:https://www.youtube.com/@lauriegerbercoach

Linked in: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauriegerber

https://linktr.ee/LesaKoski

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Navigating Divorce with Heart: Insights from Mediator Michelle Leisen

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this heartfelt episode, Lesa is joined by Michelle Leisen, a mediator, financial planner, and attorney, who supported Lesa through a personal breast cancer diagnosis and professional challenges. Michelle shares her professional journey, from attending law school to becoming a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and mediator after experiencing her own contentious divorce. The discussion focuses on Michelle's 'Power of Three' approach to divorce, highlighting the importance of understanding legal options, financial implications, and emotional well-being. Listeners are encouraged to be informed about their choices, consider the financial costs, and prioritize emotional health for themselves and their children. Michelle emphasizes the value of assembling a supportive team, including attorneys, mediators, financial analysts, and therapists, to navigate the complexities of divorce effectively.

00:00 Introduction and Special Guest Announcement

01:44 Michelle's Background and Journey

01:58 The Power of Three in Divorce

02:26 Michelle's Personal Divorce Experience

06:03 Understanding Divorce Options

08:56 The Financial Costs of Divorce

11:13 Putting Kids First in Divorce

16:19 The Emotional Side of Divorce

19:18 Building Your Support Team

21:36 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Navigating the Holidays: Co-Parenting Insights and Tips

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, Lesa discusses the challenges that children of divorced parents face during the holiday season and offers practical advice for co-parents. Taking inspiration from an Instagram account 'A Kid with Two Homes,' the episode highlights the feelings of stress and guilt that children often experience. The host emphasizes the importance of planning and communication to alleviate children's worries and reminds parents to focus on the joy and support their children. Additionally, suggestions are given for preparing for the holidays, ensuring the children's emotional well-being, and balancing holiday logistics.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

00:47 Understanding Kids' Feelings During the Holidays

01:44 Tips for Parents to Support Their Kids

03:05 Preparing for the Holidays

03:38 Casual Conversation and Personal Anecdotes

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Holiday Ready: Navigating Financial Independence Post-Divorce with James Alexander

Tue, 03 Dec 2024 03:00:00 -0400

No better time to think through your finances than before the holiday season. In this episode, Lesa welcomes certified financial planner James Alexander, who shares his expertise on creating a financial plan after a divorce. They discuss how to manage changes in income, expenses, and updating financial accounts. James also outlines the importance of addressing emotional well-being before tackling financial challenges and offers practical advice on finding a trustworthy financial advisor. Furthermore, he shares insights into how he successfully grew his financial planning business in just five years. Listeners will gain valuable tips on overcoming financial fears and the steps to take to ensure financial security post-divorce.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:10 James Alexander's Background and Career Path

05:17 Creating a Financial Plan Post-Divorce

11:30 Finding a Trustworthy Financial Advisor

17:54 Growing a Financial Planning Business

21:07 Conclusion and Contact Information

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Divorce Redefined: Navigating the Journey to Freedom and Peace

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this special Saturday episode, recorded at the barn, Lesa Koski discusses the importance of mindset, especially through challenging times like divorce, cancer, or general difficulties. Lesa shares her journey of using mindset-shifting tools to manage anxiety, and her commitment to relying on God to improve her emotional wellbeing. She introduces JJ Flizanes, an expert whose courses on emotions and core childhood experiences have profoundly impacted her. Lesa emphasizes the need to understand and fulfill personal needs, identifying feelings and practicing self-responsibility. She also introduces the Hawaiian practice of Ho'oponopono for emotional healing. Tune in to learn how you can navigate your feelings, meet your needs, and cultivate more joy in life.

00:00 Welcome and Introduction

00:24 Mindset Shifting Tools

01:35 Personal Journey and Expert Insights

04:34 Morning Routine and Emotional Awareness

06:02 Identifying and Meeting Basic Human Needs

11:49 Finding Peace and Surrendering to God

12:24 Ho'oponopono and Present Moment Practices

16:11 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Divorce with Grace: Co-Parenting, Boundaries, and Empowerment

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, the Lesa welcomes Rachel King, an attorney and podcast host, to discuss strategies for navigating divorce with controlling personalities, focusing on children's well-being, and effective co-parenting. Rachel shares her journey to becoming an attorney, including her experience in the military, and her approach to family law. The discussion includes the importance of setting boundaries, keeping communication simple, and allowing children to form independent relationships with both parents. Rachel emphasizes the need for therapy, knowing one's legal rights, and having a support system during divorce proceedings. The importance of validating children's feelings while maintaining parental decision-making is highlighted, aimed at ensuring a positive outcome for the family. Rachel’s book, 'Getting Divorced, Now What', is also mentioned as a resource for those undergoing divorce.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:08 Rachel King's Journey to Law

04:20 Choosing Family Law and Probate

07:35 Dealing with Controlling Personalities

11:38 Do's and Don'ts of Divorce with Children

17:58 Co-Parenting and Honoring Children's Feelings

23:21 Conclusion and Contact Information

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Divorce Detox: Rebuild, Heal, and Date with Purpose

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this podcast episode, Lesa Koski interviews Laurie Gerber, a renowned relationship coach who has appeared on shows like Dr. Phil and MTV. Laurie shares her personal journey overcoming marital challenges using the Handel Method, which she now teaches. The discussion delves into vital topics such as dating after divorce, the importance of self-work, and maintaining a healthy relationship. Laurie outlines a detailed 'Divorce Detox' with six crucial steps to regain emotional and spiritual health post-divorce before diving back into the dating scene. She also introduces her Head-Heart-Hoo Ha (3H) framework for finding the right partner and emphasizes the importance of mindful and efficient dating practices. Laurie offers resources and strategies for those eager to start their journey toward a fulfilling and healthy love life. For more insights, listeners are encouraged to join Lori on the Saddle Up Live podcast for a deeper dive into maintaining long-term relationships.

00:00 Welcome and Introduction

01:10 Meet Lori Gerber: A Journey in Coaching

03:52 The Importance of Self-Work Before Dating

08:19 The Divorce Detox: Steps to Emotional Healing

14:04 Phases of Post-Divorce Dating

17:11 Determining and Changing Your Type

18:50 Efficient and Purposeful Dating

20:37 Conclusion and Next Steps

For more of Laurie's dating resources check out her FREE webinar:

"3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love without Repeated Disappointments"

Learn:

✓How to be Ready to Date Like You Mean It in 30 Days or Less

✓The #1 Ingredient to Finding A Suitable Companion without Repeated Disappointment

✓Essential Elements to Effective Communication even about the Most Awkward Topics

✓PLUS: The Key to Finding Your Soulmate in Way Less Dates!

REGISTER HERE: www.lauriegerber.com/webinar

lauriegerbercoach@gmail.com www.lauriegerber.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauriegerber/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/loveasaverb

https://www.instagram.com/lauriegerber_coach/?hl=en

Find Lesa at Lesakoski.com

@lesakoski

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Rebuilding After Divorce; Financial Independence with Catherine Collins

Tue, 24 Sep 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, we meet Catherine Collins, a financial expert and author who shares her journey from a graduate history student to a leading financial writer and podcaster. Catherine discusses her accidental path to entrepreneurship, starting with her blog Budget Blonde. She highlights the importance of financial independence, especially during and after a divorce, offering advice on budget management, asset awareness, and emotional strength. Catherine also introduces the concept of 'five year you,' focusing on self-improvement and financial independence, while providing a realistic approach to personal growth post-divorce. Tune in for actionable insights and inspiring stories that make financial management accessible and empowering for everyone.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:09 Catherine's Journey to Financial Writing

04:23 The Five Year You Project

06:02 Navigating Divorce and Finances

08:05 Building Financial Confidence Post-Divorce

11:24 Practical Steps for Financial Stability

18:49 Embracing a New Beginning

21:18 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

By way of background, Catherine Collins is a nationally recognized entrepreneur and author of the book “Mom's Got Money: A millennial mom's guide to managing money like a boss”. Over the past decade, her writing and expertise have been featured in dozens of media outlets, including Good Morning America, Yahoo Finance, Forbes, U.S. News and World Report, Real Simple, The Huffington Post, Kiplinger, Investopedia, Business Insider, and many more.

Websites: Five Year You and Micro Morning Magic - Free Download

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-collins-8b983049/

Find Lesa at Saddleuplive.com

https://linktr.ee/LesaKoski

and @saddleuplive

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Empowering Dads in Family Court with David Pisarra

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of 'Doing Divorce Different, Lesa interviews David Pisarra, an attorney, founder of Dad's Law School, and podcast host. David shares his unique journey into family law and provides crucial insights for dads navigating the family court system. He emphasizes the importance of preparation, documentation, and mindset for fathers fighting for custody. The discussion also touches on the significant role dads play in their children's lives and the common mistakes they make in court. Lisa and David conclude by highlighting resources available through Dad's Law School to help dads present their best case in court.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:23 David Pizarra's Background and Journey

03:45 Challenges Dads Face in Family Court

08:23 Mindset and Preparation for Dads

13:38 Common Mistakes Dads Make

19:02 Final Thoughts and Resources

Find David at

ghil@dadslawschool.com

And Lesa @saddleuplive

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Junie Moon: Mastering the Second Act and Overcoming Fear

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, we welcome Junie Moon, CEO of Midlife Love Out Loud, to discuss empowering women through self-love and breaking self-sabotage patterns, especially post-divorce. Junie shares her personal journey and professional insights into shadow work and how women can overcome fears and limiting beliefs to fulfill their desires for a better second half of life. Listeners will learn about four specific archetypes—magician, sovereign, lover, and warrior—and how to recognize and heal their shadows. Tune in for practical advice, empowering stories, and a chance to start a transformational journey.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:04 Junie Moon's Background and Journey

02:54 Understanding Self-Sabotage

05:07 Exploring Love Shadows

14:41 The Four Archetypes

21:31 Conclusion and Next Steps

Find Junie here! Teamjuniemoon@gmail.com

Teamjuniemoon@gmail.com

https://www.facebook.com/midlifeloveoutloud

https://www.instagram.com/midlifeloveoutloud/

Mentioned in this episode:

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From Betrayal to Breakthrough

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of 'Doing Divorce Different,' we sit down with Lora Cheadle, an attorney, TEDx speaker, and betrayal specialist, to discuss her personal journey through betrayal and healing. Lora shares her compelling story of overcoming the devastation of discovering her husband's infidelity over 15 years and how they both worked individually and together to rebuild their relationship. She introduces her five-step healing process encapsulated in the acronym 'FLAUNT,' emphasizing self-love, laughter, unconditional acceptance, and navigating negativity. Laura's insights provide valuable tips for anyone dealing with betrayal, whether they choose to stay in the relationship or move on. Tune in for an inspiring conversation on resilience, self-discovery, and unconditional acceptance.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:22 Lora Cheadle's Betrayal Story

02:41 Healing and Rebuilding After Betrayal

08:03 Five Steps to Heal from Betrayal

11:50 Navigating Negative Emotions

17:11 Unconditional Acceptance and Trust

22:10 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Mentioned in this episode:

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www.RonDeal.org | SmartStepfamilies.com

Blended Family Wisdom with Ron Deal

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, Lesa Koski interviews Ron Deal, a world-renowned expert on blending families. The discussion covers Ron's background and the journey that led him to his current role, including his professional experiences and personal challenges. Ron shares practical advice for single parents considering dating, the role of a stepparent, and handling complex family dynamics. He emphasizes the importance of managing fears to build successful blended families and touches on crucial topics such as co-parenting and involving children in the dating process. The episode also highlights Ron's various resources, including books, podcasts, and online courses, aimed at supporting blended families.

00:00 Introduction and Special Guest Announcement

01:37 Ron's Journey to Becoming a Blended Family Expert

04:57 Personal Challenges and Triumphs

07:15 Dating and the Single Parent

10:26 Red Flags and Yellow Lights in Relationships

15:29 The Role of a Stepparent

20:54 Navigating Grief in Blended Families

22:40 The Importance of Intentionality in Blended Families

24:01 Single Parenting vs. Blended Families

26:17 Co-Parenting and Conflict Resolution

28:13 Managing Fear in New Relationships

31:30 Involving Kids in the Dating Process

34:57 Guidelines for Introducing a New Partner

37:11 Resources for Blended Families

Resources by Ron Deal

-----------------------------------

Ron L. Deal, LMFT, LPC

President, As For Me and My House Ministries

Director, FamilyLife Blended®, a ministry of FamilyLife®

10201 W. Markham, Ste 105, Little Rock, AR 72205

www.FamilyLife.com/blended

Listen or Subscribe to my FamilyLife Blended podcast here

Sample media interviews and presentations

Facebook: @SmartStepfamilies

Facebook: @FamilyLifeBlended

Twitter: @RonLDeal

Instagram: @FamilyLifeBlended

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Life Changes

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 03:00:00 -0400

A New Journey: From Doing Divorce Different to Saddle Up Live

Lesa Koski, a family law attorney turned mediator and host of Doing Divorce Different, shares news of ending the podcast to embark on a new project, 'Saddle Up Live,' influenced by her recent breast cancer diagnosis with a 98% positive outcome. She expresses gratitude for early detection, discusses the impact of the diagnosis on her life, including the emotional journey. Lesa reflects on the support from her faith, the learning experience from hosting her podcast, and her excitement for the new direction with Saddle Up Live. She mentions her desire to continue helping people, especially women, through their challenges and encourages listeners to embrace every moment with strength and resilience. The announcement includes details about her divorce mediation resources still being available and ends with an expression of gratitude for her listeners and the encouragement to stay positive and tuned in for her next venture.

00:00 Welcome and a Big Announcement

01:01 Sharing Personal News: A Journey of Health and Faith

03:52 Introducing Saddle Up Live: A New Beginning

05:56 Reflections on Doing Divorce Different and Future Plans

12:07 Empowerment Through Divorce and Beyond

14:02 Gratitude and Looking Forward

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Encore: Divorce Dilemmas Unveiled

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Across all the mediation meetings I have had, there seem to be seven common dilemmas that come up. I have teamed up with my coach, Tracy Pleschourt, to put together a half-day workshop to empower women to suffer less while going through divorce. During this episode, Tracy and I give a sneak peak into the seven dilemmas, and what we will cover regarding each one during the workshop. If you are local to the Minnesota area and looking for support, tune in to hear about this wonderful opportunity to not only work through common roadblocks, but also meet other incredible women who are on the same journey as you.

In this episode:

[3:58] What is one of the top stories that Lesa’s clients face?
[7:28] Lesa discusses working through parenting concerns.
[9:44] Lesa shares about emotional impact and how it can impact your divorce journey.
[12:09] How can people handle the social stigma or the judgment around divorce?
[14:10] Lesa talks about how she will give legal information in the upcoming workshop.
[15:08] A huge dilemma that comes up is loneliness in divorce, how do you manage it?
[18:52] Tracy describes her program, Self Made U.

Key Takeaways:

[10:18] When you leave your feelings in the dark, you can’t heal. Acknowledging those feelings and bringing them to the light is the first step to being able to heal and find clarity and opportunities for what you are experiencing.
[11:00] When you are operating from your prodigy brain, you are more likely to be able to look through the lens or find the perspective around gifts and opportunities.
[17:00] Join Lesa and Tracy’s master class on April 25th from 9am-1pm in Minnesota to learn how to navigate the 7 most common dilemmas that Lesa has seen while being a divorce mediator. Learn strategies from both Lesa’s experience and Tracy’s coaching so you can better navigate the circumstances you are going through.

Quotes:

[10:13] “Teaching the people at the workshop how to really feel them (feelings), because coach Tracy, you taught me that anything in the dark can’t heal. So when we try to fight those feelings or pretend we don’t have them or ignore them, they’re in the dark when we go “hello there fear, or anxiety, or whatever you are,” it comes to the light and that’s the first step in being able to heal.” - Lesa Koski

[12:52] “I think when you find yourself swimming in judgment, you have to decide to prioritize your well-being over societal opinions and stigma. You have to challenge the stigma by refusing to internalize those judgements. You have to be able to separate the fact from the fiction of how society views divorce, like leveraging empathy for yourself.” - Tracy Pleschourt

[15:42] “If loneliness is getting in the way of you being able to get through your day, then therapy is definitely the path that you want to pursue. If it’s just something that you’re starting to recognize, but you’re still able to get through your day, you’re still able to manage your day, then coaching is probably the right path for you to take.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, over drinking, time management, career & relationship changes.

Just a few years ago, Tracy was a successful, advertising executive. Stifled by the rigorous, time-consuming demands of the corporate world, she traded in her 20 years of advertising to pursue her real passion: life & weight loss coaching.

Tracy is a student of her own work and has stopped overeating, overdrinking, and created a multi six figure business while mastering metabolic health. Today, Tracy coaches people all across the country who want to do the same.

Tracy dedicates her work to ambitious, life-long learners yearning for answers and seeking a better way to create the results they desire and deserve. She instills confidence and a call to action that leads to unlimited wealth and wellness.

Resources:

Divorce Decoded Workshop

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

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Saddle Up Segment Part 2 Planning your Life!

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 03:00:00 -0400

This episode of 'Doing Divorce Different' features a continuation of a discussion with coach Tracy about the transformative power of a specific planner available on Amazon. The conversation delves into the planner's structure, emphasizing the 'S E L F' acronym to guide daily introspection and intention-setting. Highlighting the necessity of confronting self-saboteur behaviors and leveraging personal strengths, this segment also introduces a free saboteur assessment available at selfmadeu.com. Beyond personal organization, the planner serves as a tool for self-discovery and empowerment, proving beneficial in various life scenarios including personal growth, business, and navigating divorce. The episode concludes with invitations to explore further resources for divorce support and personal empowerment.

00:00 Introduction to the Show

00:21 The Saddle Up Segment with Coach Tracy

00:30 The Power of a Planner

01:20 Understanding the SELF Method

02:13 Exploring the 'E' in SELF

03:14 Identifying Saboteur Narratives

14:49 Leveraging Your Strengths

19:17 Finishing with a Decision

21:22 Closing Remarks and Resources

Find the Planner Here!

Connect with Lesa!

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Hacking Happiness

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Hacking Happiness through Divorce with Penny Lacaso

In this episode of we welcome Penny Lacaso from Melbourne, Australia, to discuss how individuals facing or going through divorce can find happiness and empowerment. Penny, a happiness hacker and author of 'Hacking Happiness,' shares her personal journey, including her childhood experience with her parents' divorce and her own divorce after a long-term marriage. She emphasizes the significance of defining happiness on one's own terms and provides techniques for cultivating joy and self-compassion during challenging times like divorce. The conversation covers the importance of allowing oneself to feel a range of emotions, the power of small acts of kindness, and practical exercises to foster happiness, including the 'Three Good Things' practice recommended by positive psychology. Penny and Lesa also discuss the value of self-compassion and using challenging life events as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

00:00 Introduction to the Show and Guest

01:45 Getting to Know Penny Lacaso

03:29 Penny's Personal Journey and the Concept of Happiness

06:55 Understanding Self and Discovering Personal Happiness

08:51 The Power of Self-Compassion and Overcoming Judgement

11:49 The Role of Choice in Happiness and Dealing with Negative Emotions

15:51 Practical Tips for Finding Joy and Happiness

31:14 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

32:18 Show Closing

Bio: Penny Lacaso is the first hapiness hacker on a quest to teach 10 million humans by 2025, how to flourish in life!

Find Penny here!

Resources!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Learn about our Workshop!

Saddle Up Segment Part 1 Planner for a Better Life

Thu, 07 Mar 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of Doing Divorce Different Lesa Koski invites her favorite coach, Tracy, to talk about self-empowerment and self-coaching. They discuss the benefits of asking yourself the right questions for personal growth, tools for assessing individual feelings, and learning how to show up in situations. Their focus lies in maximizing life and recognizing the value in every experience. Tracy's book is highlighted, a day planner offering tools and daily self-coaching questions for self-improvement. Their conversation also dives deep into the importance of creating self-reliance, self-confidence, and self-trust, all through the way of practicing self-coaching daily.

00:01 Introduction and Welcome

00:25 Reintroducing the Favorite Coach

00:36 The Impact of Tracy's Tips

01:04 Introduction to the Self-Made Day Planner

01:30 How to Purchase and Use the Planner

01:52 Tracy's Input on the Planner

02:33 The Planner as a Self-Coaching Tool

05:21 The Importance of Self-Reflection

05:46 The Impact of the Planner on Daily Life

06:14 The Science of Learning and Self-Reflection

08:15 The Planner as a Tool for Self-Awareness

08:45 The Planner's Structure and Methodology

09:20 The Planner's Impact on Positive Thinking

11:49 The Planner's Role in Eliminating Self-Sabotage

17:42 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Buy your planner here!

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Resilience and Growth: Laila Aitken's Guide to Doing Divorce Different

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Doing Divorce Different: A Candid Conversation with Laila Aitken

In this episode of 'Doing Divorce Different', host Lesa Koski, a family law attorney turned mediator, engages in a conversational interview with guest Laila Aitken Ali, a divorce coach and founder of Split FYI. They discuss overcoming the fear and emotional challenges of divorce, the importance of self-empowerment and self-care, and ways to effectively compartmentalize problems during difficult times. Laila shares her personal journey of divorce and how it led her to mentor and help others going through similar experiences. She emphasizes on viewing divorce as a journey of self-discovery and clarity, and offers advice on maintaining a positive mindset and seeking support through community-based resources like Split FYI.

00:01 Introduction and Welcome

00:25 Meet the Guest: Laila Aitken Ali

01:57 The Journey to Becoming a Divorce Coach

02:46 The Impact of Divorce on Self-Trust

03:46 The Role of a Divorce Coach

04:20 The Importance of Self-Care During Divorce

05:40 The Power of Mindset in Navigating Divorce

06:12 Steps to Alleviate Overwhelm During Divorce

07:17 The Power of Compartmentalizing During Divorce

09:51 The Importance of Self-Talk and Embracing Feelings

12:09 The Power of Positive Mindset and Self-Acknowledgement

22:04 The Role of a Love Book in Nurturing Self-Love

26:40 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Bio. Struck by her own 10-year-long experience with divorce, Laila was exhausted and thrown by the complexities and lack of consolidated information to help her close that chapter. She longed for a safe place to access emotional and organizational help, with professionals, resources, tools, and a warm community of those who already understand the situation. Over time, this sparked Laila to create Split.fyi to propel more people in her situation forward. Laila focuses on being a positive thinking partner to help educate and support others to create their own personal roadmap, navigate the tides, and reclaim their confidence and inner balance.

Laila is a mom, accredited mediator, certified CDC Certified Divorce Coach® and in the Better Apart Method, a global citizen, and hopes to inspire everyone to take agency over their lives by educating and supporting as many people as she can to rest, reclaim and rebirth before, during and after divorce, breakup or a major transition in their life.

For Divorce Support go to Lesakoski.com

Find Laila: https://splitfyi.com/about-us/

https://www.instagram.com/splitfyi/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/groups/splitfyi

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Saddle Up Segment Discover your Values

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of 'Doing Divorce Different', host Lesa Koski shares insights from her recent conversation with Jennifer Lee on how to manage finances amidst life transitions such as divorce. Lisa emphasizes the importance of understanding what really matters when it comes to spending and saving. Jennifer Lee provided important tools and posed thought-provoking scenarios to help listeners identify what they truly value and what they desire to achieve financially. This episode aims to alleviate anxieties surrounding financial issues and encourage listeners to envision their lives beyond monetary constraints.

00:01 Introduction to the Show

00:38 A Candid Conversation with Jennifer Lee

00:51 Understanding Your Finances

01:52 The Lottery Scenario

02:40 Three Deep Questions to Understand Your Values

04:27 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

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Make Money Your Best Friend by Learning What You Value

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 03:00:00 -0400

This 'Doing Divorce Different' podcast episode features Jennifer Lee, the founder of modern wealth, who joins host Lesa Koski, family law attorney turned mediator, for an enlightening discussion about financial management and empowerment during transitions such as divorce. Jennifer shares her experiences of helping clients manage finances, focusing importantly on what clients value and helping them understand their needs, wants and discretionary amounts. Much time is spent discussing the 'non-money' spouse, particularly in the context of divorce, along with ways to alleviate financial fear and improve personal comfort with financial planning. Jennifer also discusses her book, 'Squeeze the Juice', which aims at helping readers get the best out their experiences and fulfilling their financial goals.

00:01 Introduction to Doing Divorce Different

00:29 Meet the Guest: Jennifer Lee, Founder of Modern Wealth

00:57 Understanding Finances and the Non-Money Spouse

01:55 The Importance of Reading and Learning

02:17 Jennifer's Approach to Finances and Money Management

03:15 The Concept of Financial Planning and Its Simplicity

04:05 Jennifer's Personal Journey with Money

04:38 Understanding Your Money Story and Its Impact

06:21 The Fear of Finances and How to Overcome It

07:19 The Importance of Knowing What You Value

08:46 The Concept of Discretionary Spending

13:18 The Reality of Living Above Your Means

18:34 Taking Control of Your Finances

27:03 Understanding the Title of Jennifer's Book: Squeeze the Juice

29:12 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Bio: Jennifer Lee is the founder of Modern-Wealth (www.Modern-Wealth.com); and has been in the financial services industry for 26 years; 44 years if you count going to the office with her father as a child. She has a relationship with money that is familiar, and she loves engaging people on the subject. Aside from travel, cooking, and hanging out with her family, she is most happy working. She is passionate about educating her clients, the divorcee wanting to get her future lined up, a business client desiring to expand or sell his operation, or a couple wanting to make

sure they have provided for their kids and grandkids, about the nuances of planning for their financial future; hoping to change their perspective of the process. For her, it is fulfilling, and fun.

Book Website: SqueezeTheJuiceBook.com

Facebook: Facebook.com/ModernWealthInvest

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/In/Jennifer-Lee-awma®-aif®-1b5aa56/

Instagram: Instagram.com/modernwealthloveletter/

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Saddle Up Segment Co-Parenting Well Through Divorce

Thu, 22 Feb 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of 'Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski revisits an enlightening conversation with well-known author and expert, Sharon Pope. Sharon shared significant tools for helping children cope during a divorce, including creating a list of changes and a larger list of things that will stay the same to alleviate fear of the unknown. Lesa expanded on Sharon’s insights about the unforeseen lessons children might learn from divorce, such as self-advocacy and setting boundaries. Lesa also highlighted the importance of maintaining a cordial relationship with the co-parent for the sake of children. This episode serves as a resource for those seeking tactful ways to approach their children about divorce.

00:01 Introduction and Welcome

00:21 Recap of Tuesday's Episode with Sharon Pope

00:48 Tools for Helping Children Through Divorce

01:05 The Importance of a Parenting Plan

01:30 How to Communicate Changes to Children

02:24 Unexpected Lessons Children Learn from Divorce

04:10 The Power of Kindness in Co-Parenting

04:36 Conclusion and Invitation to Connect

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To Stay or to go and What About the Children with Sharon Pope

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 03:00:00 -0400

This episode of the 'Doing Divorce Different' podcast features an enlightening conversation between the show's host, Lesa Koski, and guest, Sharon Pope, a master life coach and relationship expert. They discuss the various ways to manage the process of divorce and how to make the experience less traumatic through self-empowerment. Sharon offers a unique perspective, given her personal experience with divorce and subsequent transformation into a relationship and life coach. The episode provides helpful advice and tools for listeners who may be contemplating divorce, notably the importance of self-work and setting boundaries. Special attention is given to the impact of divorce on children and how it can be managed positively.

00:01 Introduction and Welcome

00:21 Guest Introduction: Sharon Pope

01:45 Sharon's Personal Journey and Expertise

12:21 The Importance of Self-Work in Relationships

18:52 The Impact of Divorce on Children

27:46 Final Thoughts and Takeaways

00:01 Introduction and Welcome

00:21 Guest Introduction: Sharon Pope

01:45 Sharon's Personal Journey and Expertise

12:21 The Importance of Self-Work in Relationships

18:52 The Impact of Divorce on Children

27:46 Final Thoughts and Takeaways

Bio: Sharon Pope is a certified Master Life Coach, relationship expert, and seven-time best-selling author on love and relationships, including "Stay or Go: How to Find the Confidence & Clarity You Need to Either Fix the Struggles in Your Marriage or Move Forward without Regret," which has sold more than 300,000 copies worldwide, and host of the podcast, "The Loving Truth." Sharon's been a guest on many podcasts and is committed to helping women and men get the tools they need to improve, heal, or release their struggling marriages.

https://sharonpope.com/

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Saddle Up Segment The Heartache of Divorce

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Navigating Divorce and Personal Growth

In this episode of 'Doing Divorce Different', Lesa Koski, a family law attorney and mediator, talks about grappling with the idea of ending a marriage. Koski emphasizes the importance of introspection, highlighting her own experience of maintaining a marriage through self-growth. She encourages her listeners to confront their feelings about their marriage and shares strategies for self-improvement. She notes the potential benefits these changes can have on their spouses or their own perception of themselves. Koski also discusses how personal growth can equip individuals to be independent, should they decide to end their marriage. Drawing from her own experience, she underscores that neither decision is easy, and that marriage requires work. She ends by providing support and positivity for those contemplating divorce after Valentine's Day.

00:01 Introduction to Doing Divorce Different

00:21 Saddle Up Segment: Post-Valentine's Day Reflections

01:12 Contemplating the End of Marriage

02:48 The Power of Self-Improvement in Marriage

03:22 The Impact of Personal Growth on Your Relationship

04:41 Making the Tough Decision: Stay or Leave?

04:49 The Importance of Communication and Boundaries

05:16 Sending Love to Those Contemplating Divorce

05:40 Conclusion and Invitation to Connect

Mentioned in this episode:

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https://karencovy.com/podcast/

When Happily Ever After Ends

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, host Lesa Koski holds a candid conversation with divorce attorney-turned-mediator Karen Covy. They discuss entrepreneurship, their roles as recovering lawyers, the importance of divorce coaches, and how to navigate the divorce process. Covy shares her journey from being a lawyer to becoming a divorce coach, her commitment to changing the people going into the divorce system, and the importance of self-work in the decision-making process. She also talks about her book, 'When Happily Ever After Ends', which offers resources for people to handle divorce better.

00:01 Introduction and Welcome

00:18 Getting to Know Karen Covey

01:09 The Importance of Divorce Coaches

01:56 Karen's Journey to Becoming a Divorce Coach

04:59 The Role of a Divorce Coach

06:34 The Starfish Story

07:32 Karen's Book: When Happily Ever After Ends

09:14 How to Know When It's Time to Divorce

12:49 The Importance of Self-Work in Decision Making

16:48 The Role of Honesty in Decision Making

17:53 Making the Decision to Divorce

26:16 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Bio:

A DIVORCE COACH AND CONSULTANT, MEDIATOR, AUTHOR, SPEAKER, COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE PROFESSIONAL, AND A RECOVERING DIVORCE ATTORNEY.

https://www.facebook.com/KarenCovy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/karencovy/

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Saddle Up Segment You May Be Able to Divorce Better!

Thu, 08 Feb 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode, Lesa Koski, a family law attorney and mediator, hosts a conversation about managing divorce effectively. She emphasizes the importance of education about divorce laws and procedures, recommending divorce mediation and collaborative law as potential paths. Lesa warns about situations involving power imbalances or abuse, advising such individuals to consult an attorney. She also highlights the importance of being well-informed and less naive in navigating divorce, especially considering the legal binding nature of marriage. Guest Paulette Rigaud, founder of Better Divorce Academy, shares her challenging divorce experience that lasted eight years. Lisa finishes by encouraging listeners to consider consulting a divorce coach to gain insights into navigating a divorce efficiently.

00:01 Introduction to the Show

00:24 Saddle Up Segment: Discussing Divorce

01:32 Understanding Divorce Laws

02:09 Considering Collaborative Divorce

03:03 The Importance of Agreement in Divorce

03:49 Learning from Past Divorce Experiences

04:34 The Legal Implications of Marriage

05:24 The Role of a Divorce Coach

06:00 Conclusion and Farewell

Mentioned in this episode:

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https://www.facebook.com/betterdivorceacademy

Better Divorce Insights from Paulette Rigo

Tue, 06 Feb 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Lesa Koski and guest Paulette Rigo, founder of Better Divorce Academy, dive deep into the topic of handling divorce in a better way. Paulette explains her personal experience, which led her to the creation of her academy. She emphasizes the importance of being prepared, understanding the daunting divorce process, and breaking it down into manageable steps. Paulette also discusses the impact of divorce on productivity in the workplace, leading her to also work with companies through Divorce Right Inc. to proactively manage this. The conversation concludes with the encouragement to approach problems by looking at the big picture and breaking it down into bite-sized pieces.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Presentation

00:19 Getting to Know Paulette Rigo

01:36 Paulette's Journey to Divorce Coaching

02:23 Paulette's Personal Divorce Story

04:47 The Impact of Divorce on Personal Life

05:56 The Importance of Divorce Coaching

21:10 The Role of Divorce Coaches in the Corporate World

24:59 Final Thoughts and Advice

https://www.linkedin.com/in/betterdivorceacademy/

https://www.instagram.com/paulettegloriarigo/

https://betterdivorceacademy.com/

https://betterdivorceacademy.com/podcasts/

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Saddle Up Segment The Power of Self-Reflection in Divorce

Thu, 01 Feb 2024 17:01:00 -0400

In this episode of "Doing Divorce Different," Attorney turned Mediator, Lesa Koski, shares her insights and advice on how to alleviate the fear of divorce and heal through empowerment. She emphasizes the importance of working on oneself before making the decision to divorce, and how this can positively impact the relationship dynamics. Lesa also shares personal anecdotes and lessons learned from her own marriage, highlighting the transformative power of self-love and setting boundaries. Tune in to discover valuable tips and resources for navigating the divorce process in a better way.

- Episode Highlights:

- Introduction to "Doing Divorce Different" and the host, Lisa Kosky.

- The significance of working on oneself before contemplating divorce.

- How personal growth and self-love can positively impact the marriage.

- Personal experiences and lessons learned from Lisa's own marriage.

- The transformative power of changing one's mindset and embracing self-care.

- Exploring resources like books, podcasts, and coaches to support personal growth.

- Practical tips for changing negative thought patterns and beliefs.

- Invitation to a workshop on the seven dilemmas women face in divorce, taking place on April 25th and emphasizing self-care and community.

- Encouragement to connect with Lesa Koski for further support and sign up for the newsletter.

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The Power of Collaboration in Divorce

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this podcast episode, Lucia Ramirez Levias, a collaborative law attorney, shares her personal journey that led her towards a career of helping people work together instead of fighting it out in court. Graduating with an aim to do immigration law, she found a niche in family law, which she ultimately blended with her experience in youth development work before law school. With collaborative divorce, Lucia discusses how it fosters a peaceful and durable settlement that mitigates the negative impacts on children, unlike traditional litigation. She emphasizes the role of a professional team consisting of collaborative attorneys and a divorce coach. While acknowledging that power dynamics and domestic violence issues can prevent engagement in collaborative law, Lucia still sees potential for its effectiveness in some power imbalance situations. Lucia advises listeners to consider their high-end goals to guide them during the divorce process.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Presentation

00:46 Lucia's Journey to Becoming a Collaborative Law Attorney

03:33 The Impact of Traditional Family Law and Transition to Collaborative Divorce

05:32 Understanding Collaborative Law

09:42 The Role of a Divorce Coach in Collaborative Law

11:09 Personal Experiences with Divorce

16:15 When Collaborative Law Might Not Be the Best Option

20:06 The Difference Between Collaborative Law and Litigation

24:36 Final Thoughts and Key Takeaways

Lucia's Website

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Saddle Up Segment: Tips to Help You Communicate Better During a Divorce

Thu, 25 Jan 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today is all about communication. Lesa is sharing some of her favorite communication tools that she teaches her mediation clients. These tips can help you whether you are working through divorce mediation, navigating collaborative law, or having issues with co-parenting. Tune in to hear Lesa’s 5 tips to communicate better. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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MN Relationship Repair: Home

Conquering Loneliness After Divorce

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Navigating Loneliness in Relationships

In this podcast episode, host Lesa Koski takes on the topic of navigating loneliness with the help of guest and family therapist, Brian Burns. They discuss how loneliness can be a fundamental issue in marriage and relationships, often motivating individuals to avoid divorce out of fear of isolation. Brian offers insights on tackling loneliness by practicing outward-focused interactions, self-awareness, and open communication, emphasizing that individuals should focus on their feelings when attempting to communicate their loneliness to a partner. Brian also advocates for couples to seek therapy and emphasizes that the process is about working on oneself in front of their partner.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

00:20 Discussing Loneliness and Its Impact

00:55 Guest's Podcast and Its Themes

01:35 Exploring the Topic of Sex and Communication

03:00 Diving into the Feelings of Loneliness

03:43 The Fear of Loneliness in Divorce

04:39 Loneliness as a State of Mind

05:24 The Societal Impact of Loneliness

06:14 Strategies to Combat Loneliness

07:02 The Role of Communication in Addressing Loneliness

07:33 The Power of Small Interactions

01:34 The Importance of Self-Reflection in Understanding Loneliness

11:25 The Role of Alcohol in Social Interactions

11:51 The Power of Texting in Building Connections

13:54 The Role of Mindset in Addressing Loneliness

18:43 The Importance of Honesty in Relationships

24:30 The Role of Marriage Counseling in Addressing Loneliness

28:36 Conclusion and Guest's Contact Information

Find Lesa at:

Lesakoski.com

https://linktr.ee/lesakoski

Find Brian at:

MN Relationship Repair

https://www.mnrelationshiprepair.com

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Saddle Up Segment Part 2 on People Pleasing

Thu, 18 Jan 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Do you find yourself getting lost in people pleasing? Traci is back to talk about what people pleasing is and how you can start living for yourself. People pleasing is in the eye of the beholder, and sometimes it may feel good to be available for the people around you, there may also be times when you feel like you are being dragged around to do what everyone else wants. Tune in to learn how to become grounded and confident in what you desire, and how to place boundaries to protect what you want. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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Divorce Dilemmas Unveiled

Tue, 16 Jan 2024 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode:

[3:58] What is one of the top stories that Lesa’s clients face?
[7:28] Lesa discusses working through parenting concerns.
[9:44] Lesa shares about emotional impact and how it can impact your divorce journey.
[12:09] How can people handle the social stigma or the judgment around divorce?
[14:10] Lesa talks about how she will give legal information in the upcoming workshop.
[15:08] A huge dilemma that comes up is loneliness in divorce, how do you manage it?
[18:52] Tracy describes her program, Self Made U.

Key Takeaways:

[10:18] When you leave your feelings in the dark, you can’t heal. Acknowledging those feelings and bringing them to the light is the first step to being able to heal and find clarity and opportunities for what you are experiencing.
[11:00] When you are operating from your prodigy brain, you are more likely to be able to look through the lens or find the perspective around gifts and opportunities.
[17:00] Join Lesa and Tracy’s master class on April 25th from 9am-1pm in Minnesota to learn how to navigate the 7 most common dilemmas that Lesa has seen while being a divorce mediator. Learn strategies from both Lesa’s experience and Tracy’s coaching so you can better navigate the circumstances you are going through.

Quotes:

Guest Bio:

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Saddle Up Segment: Healing Your Inner People Pleaser

Thu, 11 Jan 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Resources

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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Your Divorce Coach Facebook

The Emotional-Body Dance of Divorce

Tue, 09 Jan 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Regulating your nervous system is the number one thing you can do to handle difficult situations. Today, I have Sharri Freedman on who is a divorce, relationship and women’s empowerment coach. She talks about regulating your nervous system, and why it is so crucial while going through a difficult time such as divorce. She provides a great breathing exercise and talks about how she helps her clients with visualization so they know what direction they want to work towards. We discuss why it is necessary to be uncomfortable in order to change, and how to really become conscious with your everyday life. Tune in today for her incredible tips, I know you’ll learn something new!

In this episode:

[2:35] Sharri tells her story of what led her to become a coach.
[7:54] How do you regulate the nervous system?
[13:08] Sharri walks us through a breathing exercise to calm your nervous system.
[15:17] How do you work through situations when the fear comes back?
[16:13] What is mind magic?
[20:53] How can you get comfortable being uncomfortable?
[24:40] Sharri shares her key takeaway she’d like listeners to start with.

Key Takeaways:

[5:33] All the mindset work in the world isn’t going to work if your body is not in sync. If you don’t feel safe inside your body, change is not going to happen.
[12:48] If you can regulate your nervous system by releasing the feelings in a positive and empowering way, you won’t erupt like a volcano. You can be in the middle of mediation or the courtroom and talk through issues from a place of calmness and clarity instead of being reactive.
[24:47] Divorce is painful and pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Quotes:

[8:15] “If you're in an unhappy marriage, or if you are in the process of divorce, or maybe you're already divorced, you have been living in fight, flight, or freeze for a very, very, very long time. And we're not meant to be in that state for long periods of time. It's meant to be quick, to get you out of danger and then go back to calm and peacefulness. But we're in this jacked up state that becomes our normal and it's not normal. It causes stress and pressure constriction and it leads to disease. You're not an even flow, which then leads to a lot of physical ailments, not just mental ailments, not just stress and depression and sadness, it also actually physically affects your body.” - Sharri Freedman
[10:55] “The key to all of it is: you have to learn to love and accept yourself, forgive yourself, and learn to date yourself before you start moving on to other relationships.” - Sharri Freedman
[18:47] “You have to love your fear, you have to love it. If you don’t love your fear, it’s going to sabotage you. It's going to prevent you from doing what you need to do. We don't want to push through it, instead it’s acknowledging the fear is there, saying hello fear, I see you there, I know you’re there to protect me, and I want to thank you for protecting me all those years when I needed you, but I don’t need the protection right now’.” - Sharri Freedman
[27:47] “Divorce is painful and pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” - Sharri Freedman

Guest Bio:

Sharri Freedman is a sought after relationship, divorce, and women’s empowerment coach liberating women from their old programming, their past wounds & their disempowered limiting beliefs so that they have instant clarity when it comes to marital decisions, parenting decisions, & career decisions.

Her signature program LIBERATED featuring the Mind Magic® framework combines her 3 decades of experience as a divorce professional with neuroscience, thought work, somatics, & spirituality empowering women to make clear heart centered decisions without regret & live the life they desire and deserve.

Resources:

Potomac Coaching Website

Email: Sharri@PotomacCoaching.com

Your Divorce Coach Instagram

Facebook Support Group

Happiness Hits Inspiration

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 1

Saddle Up Segment: Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 4

Thu, 04 Jan 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. As we wrap up our four part series on believing in your future self, I wanted to do a recap of each episode. If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, we want you to know that that suffering is unnecessary, that it does not have to be a part of your life any longer. These episodes will help you to reframe how you look at the circumstances in your life and learn how to create opportunities out of difficulties. Do yourself a favor and go back and listen to the episodes to receive their true value! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 2

Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 3

Tracy Pleschourt's Instagram

Tracy Pleschourt's Website

Tracy Pleschourt's Facebook

Tracy Pleschourt's LinkedIn

Lesa Koski's Website

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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Shattered Vows, Mended Hearts: A Conversation on Grief in Divorce

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 03:00:00 -0400

Going through a divorce comes with a great mix of emotions, one of which can be grief. It can be an interesting emotion to navigate as you haven’t actually lost someone to death, but the feelings feel similar. Today, I am talking with family, marriage, and grief therapist Brittany Squillace about the different types of grief and how to work through them. She discusses ambiguous loss and how it relates to recognizing the obstacles of the loss of a marriage. Brittany talks about the common experiences that people grieving divorce face, and how to support someone going through a divorce if you're not the one in the middle of it. She highlights how to grieve and move on from a divorce when you have to continue to interact with that person. Tune in to better understand what you may be feeling and how to work through those difficult emotions.

In this episode:

[2:38] Brittany shares the story of how she got into family, marriage and grief therapy.
[5:00] How does grief work with a divorce?
[7:25] How can you allow yourself to feel safe while dealing with grieving?
[8:31] What is the difference between a safe and unsafe place to grieve?
[14:09] How is the grieving of a divorce (non death loss) different from a loss from death?
[16:20] How do you grieve and move on when you have to continue to interact with the person?
[22:46] What is a way to give hope during a really hard time?
[27:05] Brittany shares one thing you can do right now to help you.

Key Takeaways:

[8:32] Creating a safe space to feel your grief is essential for working through it. A safe space means talking with people who support you, who will hold your stuff and not take it on as their own. They won’t make you feel bad about it, dismiss or downplay what you are experiencing.
[18:42] Grief never really goes away, although it does change. There may be times where it hits you like a ton of bricks and you wonder where in the world that came from. It happens and it’s okay. What will change and what won’t feel the same over time is the intensity in which that happens and how often that happens.
[23:15] Whether you are going through grief or you are trying to help a loved one deal with grief early on, let them know that you will hold the hope for them. It won’t be easy navigating grief, and it won’t be linear, but being there to listen, support, and hold hope is one of the best things you can do. You can also hold hope for yourself by recognizing what you’ve accomplished and reminding yourself that you can do that thing again and again.

Quotes:

[8:06] “There can be some benefit in sitting with the discomfort that comes with grief. The sadness, the anger, the confusion, whatever it might be. There can be a lot of benefits in holding your own space and saying, ‘I'm okay, this is uncomfortable, but I’m okay, and I can sit here and feel these because this is real’.” - Brittany Squillace

[24:02] “Let someone hold the hope for you. If you have a good day or you have a moment, like a good moment in your day, highlight that. That's that part of hope. So now you can start holding that hope for yourself because you're like, ‘oh, I did it once before. This was an example where things are starting to shift for me’.” - Brittany Squillace

[27:06] “One of the main things I wanted to make sure I touch on is ambiguous loss or divorce or anything that fits within this category falls into a type of grief called disenfranchised grief, which basically means it's a loss and a grief that doesn't get recognized so then therefore we don't grieve it the way that we should.” - Brittany Squillace

Guest Bio:

MEET BRITTANY SQUILLACE

When people learn I guide others through their grief journeys, their first response is typically, "Wow! That must be tough work." And then they ask, "Why grief work?" I’m passionate about helping you honor your own grief journey because I’ve experienced grief as well. In 2012, my paternal grandparents died within one month of each other. I was impacted not only by own grief journey, but also by watching my dad experience grief as well. This ignited my passion to create a safe space and provide healthy support for those on their own grief journey.

Resources:

Best Self Therapy

Email: bsquillace@bestselftherapy.net

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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Saddle Up Segment: Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 3

Thu, 28 Dec 2023 03:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today we are talking about connecting with your future self, and how to make that future version of yourself a reality. If you are connected to your painful past, you are feeling the fear of duplicating your past. It keeps you stuck or stunted. Decide who your future self is, so you can use him or her to make decisions about today. The three steps to getting to your future self are to begin seeing who you are in the future, feeling into it, and finding your knowing that it's possible to be that next version of you. Tune in to learn the benefits and exercises to connect with the future version of you! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Be Your Future Self Now

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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Encore: Untangling Alimony: The Financial Threads of Divorce

Tue, 26 Dec 2023 03:00:00 -0400

Are you in the beginning steps of a divorce process and wondering how spousal support or maintenance works? This encore episode walks through everything you need to know from family law attorney, Michelle Kniess. She discusses what information is necessary to determine maintenance support to ensure that both sides are equally represented. Michelle and I also talk about the difference between how I support my clients through mediation and how she helps her clients 1:1. We talk about what it looks like if the person receiving spousal support moves in with someone new and how that can impact the amount they get. Tune in to learn what you need to be aware of while going through a divorce that requires maintenance support and how to know what to ask for.

In this episode:

[4:05] Michelle shares her story of how she got into her current career.
[8:31] What does it look like when Michelle is working with a client and determining what they need for maintenance?
[13:57] What is the expectation of how long alimony will last, and what are the expectations for the person getting maintenance?
[17:28] When does maintenance end and what factors go into the duration?
[19:16] What happens when the person getting maintenance moves in with someone and is sharing expenses?
[23:20] Can a couple make the decision to determine their own agreement on maintenance that the court cannot change?

Key Takeaways:

[7:15] It’s so important for you to understand what your expenses are and what they’re going to be after divorce so you can understand if spousal support is needed (and if it’s available), or if there are things you need to change regarding your lifestyle, home, or job to be able to stay within your budget.
[15:48] The person receiving the maintenance can do what they want with their life, if they don’t want to work, they don’t have to, but at some point the court will assume that there’s going to be a level of income earned or that should be earned if the person is fully capable of generating income on their own.
[23:23] There are three things that you have to talk about with maintenance, and that is amount, duration and modifiability. If it is ordered by the court then it can be modifiable because the court and the law recognize that there’s changes in circumstances that can happen as life moves forward.

Quotes:

[9:02] “When then your marriage is ending and you're finding yourself in this position where you're going to have to be separate and no longer follow this plan, we have to take a look at what are the resources and what are the needs? I mean, that's about as basic as I can put it. And it's a very emotional topic for parties, whether you're on the receiving side or the paying side.” - Michelle Kniess

[21:00] “So you're examining this relationship and trying to make all sorts of crystal ball predictions about it. When you really have no idea what's going to happen there. One thing that's really important about cohabitation is there is no legal obligation attached to that for the person living with the obligee spouse to support that person.” - Michelle Kniess

[27:29] “A buyout means perhaps somebody gets more property than they would otherwise get just to pay for perhaps a care on waiver or part of the maintenance award.” - Michelle Kniess

Guest Bio:

Michelle Kniess devotes her entire practice to family law in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Her practice focuses on divorce, custody and parenting time, spousal maintenance, child support, and property valuation and division, including business interests. Michelle practiced as a business litigation attorney prior to pursuing a career in family law. She owned and managed a boutique family law practice for nearly nine years. Michelle brings many years of experience and vast knowledge of family law, in both Minnesota and Wisconsin.

Michelle received her Juris Doctor from the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 2005 and her Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse in 2002.

Resources:

Messerli Kramer (since the recording of this episode, Michelle has now moved to Messerli Kramer)

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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Saddle Up Segment: Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 2

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 03:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Instead of just 2x’ing your life, imagine you decided to ask yourself what is currently impossible, and then chase after that ‘impossible’ thing, and end up 10x’ing your life? That’s the topic Traci Pleschourt of SelfMadeU, and I talk about today: How to dream up a new goal, focus your time on it, and change your life. We typically spend 20% of our time focusing on the changes we really want to make, and 80% of our time being distracted by things that have nothing to do with our big goal. What if instead, you took a chance on yourself, and zeroed in on the 20%. Tune in today for some great tips from my coach Traci on how to accomplish this! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

10x Is Easier Than 2x

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Should I Stay or Should I Go; 'The D Word' Author Kate Anthony

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 03:00:00 -0400

How do you know when it’s time to divorce? That’s a question I often receive from clients, so I decided to bring on Divorce Coach and Author, Kate Anthony to help answer this question. During this encore episode, we discuss what to look at when you are considering divorce and how to determine if divorce is the right decision for you. We also talk about why many women are unhappy in their marriages, and if that is a reflection of the marriage itself or the life that they are living. We ended the episode with a discussion around how to know if you are in a relationship with a narcissist and if the diagnosis even really matters. Kate is someone that I’ve looked up to for a long time, I love her podcast and I’ve even taken some of her courses to help me with mediation. She is such a joy to learn from, I can’t wait for you to tune in.

In this episode:

[4:20] Kate shares what led her to do the work that she’s doing now.
[8:18] What are the first things to look at when thinking about getting a divorce?
[11:25] Why do women get unhappy in their marriage?
[18:25] Kate gives her insight on when people are married and there is nothing wrong with their marriage, but that they have fallen out of love.
[23:22] How to know if your spouse is a narcissist and what to do about it.
[28:24] Kate offers a piece of advice for helping women reach the decision if they are truly wanting a divorce or not.

Key Takeaways:

[11:33] Women are so over stretched with everything that they have on their plates and are carrying an unequal load compared to their husbands. Society has women working, paying the bills, keeping up the house, being the main caregiver for the children, and managing everything that comes with those tasks such as doctor appointments, extracurricular activities, presents for special occasions, etc. Then they also have to be the ones to care for their husband and understand his flaws and balance those out as well.
[16:34] There has been a study done that shows the happiest people in Western culture are married men. The second happiest are single women, the third happiest are single men. Married women are the least happy people in Western culture.
[21:57] A loving relationship is when both spouses feed the health, safety, and sanctity of the relationship. When both people are willing to put in the work to help the other be fulfilled and find happiness, while also doing the work on themselves, the marriage is a happier place to be.

Quotes:

[11:33] “Women are unhappy in their marriages because marriage, the institution as we understand it or as we live it today, benefits men on the backs of women and our labor, whether it's domestic labor, emotional labor, we're carrying an absolutely unequal load.” - Kate Anthony

[13:22] We spend so much time going, ‘but he had a really hard childhood and I understand why he is the way that he is and it's really hard for him.’ And okay, I can understand the way that he is and have compassion, great compassion. But I'm not going to have more compassion for his childhood wounding than I am for how he's dumping that on me.” - Kate Anthony

[16:10] “Feminism means that you believe that women have equal rights to men and should have them under the law and in our culture and in relationships. Like that's, this is not a bad word unless you're in a relationship or a system that very, very, very much depends upon us not having that equality, which most relationships do.” - Kate Anthony

Guest Bio:

Kate Anthony is the author of The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage, host of the critically acclaimed and New York Times recommended podcast The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast and the creator of the groundbreaking online coaching program, Should I Stay or Should I Go? which helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community support, and deep self-work. Kate is certified as a Domestic Violence Advocate, a Co-Parenting Specialist, and a High Conflict Divorce Coach.

Resources:

Kate Anthony's Website

The D Word Book

The Divorce Survival Guide Instagram

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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The Gap and The Gain Book

Saddle Up Segment: Believing in Your Future Self Even After Divorce Part 1

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 03:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. For the next four weeks, my coach Traci Pleschourt, will be talking about connecting with our future selves. This week we are talking about connecting with your past. We start by encouraging you to look at how far you’ve come instead of focusing on the past or what you have left to do to reach your goals. We discuss having faith in God and faith in the direction that you are going. Then we talk about how to look backwards from the right perspective. Tune in to learn how to suffer less and feel motivated. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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A Kid With Two Homes Instagram

Thriving Through the Tinsel: 7 Ways Divorced Parents Can Make Holidays Special for Their Children

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 03:00:00 -0400

Holidays can be tough when you are divorced, but coming up with a strategy to enjoy them is possible! I am discussing 7 things you can do to help your children and yourself navigate the holidays. From creating new traditions, to having expectations around finances, and even dealing with high conflict parenting situations, I have some wonderful ideas throughout this episode. Tune in to learn more ways to make your holiday special after divorce.

In this episode:

[2:48] How do kids feel during the holidays when their parents are divorced and how can you support them with those feelings?
[7:59] 7 things you can do to help your children through the holidays.
[14:01] How to manage the holidays if you are in a high-conflict parenting situation.

Key Takeaways:

[9:02] Discuss the holiday schedule with your children so they are not left wondering what the time out of school might look like. Provide them with clarity of how the schedule will look, and answer any questions they may have.
[10:52] Find some new traditions you can start with your children. There may be opportunities to do activities that weren’t an option while you were married. Quality time with your kids is what matters most to them.
[13:22] Prioritize your own self care. Have empathy with yourself and make sure that you are taking care of yourself so you can take care of your children well.

Quotes:

“I know there's lots of tricky things involved, but you can set the tone for a positive experience. So the greatest thing that you can do is to be united with the other co-parent and work together and let the kids see that you are working together.” - Lesa Koski

“My childhood memories of Christmas, I think the best ones are when we did something. I don't remember the gifts that I got, but I remember the time that we spent together. So remember that your kids just need time with you as simple as going sledding down a hill and getting hot cocoa.” - Lesa Koski

“You need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your children well. They need you more than anything. So make sure that you're in a good spot, you're doing the things to get your mind right so that you don't have to be stressed out and be easy on yourself. If you are struggling to have empathy, it is a tough time of year, but you can help your children thrive through the holidays.” - Lesa Koski

Resources:

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

Mentioned in this episode:

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Jill Barnett Kaufman’s Website

Saddle Up Segment: What is a Divorce Coach vs. a Therapist?

Thu, 07 Dec 2023 03:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. If you’ve ever been unclear about what a therapist is vs what a coach is, this is a great episode that breaks it down. Lesa talks about her experience working with a coach, and digs in to where a therapist might be able to future help her with other things she is dealing with. You’ll also hear about the difference of working with an attorney vs a mediator. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

8 Guidelines for Separated and Divorced Parents

Separation and Divorce Support Community Facebook Page

Jill Barnett Kaufman’s Instagram

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

Mentioned in this episode:

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Jill Barnett Kaufman’s Website

Decoding Divorce Dynamics: Navigating the Role of a Divorce Therapist vs. Divorce Coach

Tue, 05 Dec 2023 03:00:00 -0400

Are you concerned about how your divorce will impact your children? Or confused about whether you need to hire a divorce coach, mediator, or an attorney? This week I interviewed divorce coach Jill Barnett Kaufman who answers all of these questions! She discusses her own experience going through divorce after years of counseling trying to save her marriage. Jill talks about the impact it had on her children and what their feedback is now that they are adults. You’ll hear a breakdown of the difference between a therapist and a coach and how each can help you with different areas of life. Jill ends the episode talking about how parents can protect their children while going through divorce. Tune in for some great insight from Divorce Coach Jill.

In this episode:

[2:26] Jill shares her story of how she came to be a divorce coach.
[5:40] What did Jill mean by saying that she was hurting her kids by getting divorced?
[8:03] What was Jill’s experience working with an attorney and disagreeing with the decisions her attorney recommended?
[11:45] What is the difference between a therapist and a coach?
[13:41] Lesa shares a story about her experience working with a coach.
[15:58] What are things that people can do to protect their kids through a divorce?
[20:33] Jill provides advice about what would have helped her while going through her divorce.

Key Takeaways:

[8:36] There are a lot of good attorneys out there, but there are also a lot of attorneys who don't understand the emotional toll that it takes to fight for things, even if you're entitled to them. You have to weigh all of that when you go through a divorce.
[11:56] The difference between a therapist and a coach is that a therapist will look at your past, what trauma you have experienced, what has happened in your childhood to work through those issues. A coach is someone who looks into the current and the future to help create a plan of action for moving forward. They hold you accountable to your goals, and help you work on practical things.
[18:30] One benefit from children going through a divorce is that they learn to be more independent, flexible, and have individual relationships with each parent. It can create a great opportunity to build an amazing bond.

Quotes:

“And that is kind of the beauty when I work with clients. I call it designing your own divorce. You get to make the calls. I'm not going to give you any advice, but I want you to understand the law. And then it's up to the two of you to come to a conclusion about what seems fair.” - Lesa Koski

“I always tell people this: divorce is 10 percent legal, 10 percent financial and 80 percent emotional.” - Jill Barnett Kaufman

“We don't step back and really take a look at what we want in our life for the long term, and we let time go by and things don't get done. Divorce is an opportunity to do something that you've never done to change your life in a positive way and take advantage of that opportunity and take advantage of that time and think about what made you happy when you were a kid or when you were a young adult that you weren't able to do for the past years, because you were too busy and get those things into your lives because we have more time than we realize and we have to use that time wisely because it's a gift, and so taking advantage of this opportunity when we can focus on the negatives and really get frustrated, or we can look at it as, this is an opportunity to change our lives and really make it what we want.” - Jill Barnett Kaufman

Guest Bio:

Jill Barnett Kaufman, LCSW, is a Licensed Therapist, Divorce Coach, Author & Co-parenting Expert. After going through her own difficult divorce, she made it her life’s mission to help others not have it so tough. Her book and course, I’m Getting Divorced, Now What? and her transformative group coaching program help parents navigate the overwhelming process of divorce with less stress, more confidence and a greater sense of peace. She’s recently married and the mother of 3 adult children and 3 adult step children.

Resources:

8 Guidelines for Separated and Divorced Parents

Separation and Divorce Support Community Facebook Page

Jill Barnett Kaufman’s Instagram

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

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Saddle Up Segment: Finding Love Again After A Gray Divorce

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 03:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week on the podcast we talked a lot about the reasons why we are seeing more gray divorces as well as what it looks like to enter into the dating world when over 50. It can be easy to think you are too old for love or dating, but the truth is we all need love! If you’ve decided that you are ready to meet your next partner and want some strategy tips, tune in today for some tips! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Love Factually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

Mentioned in this episode:

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The Love Doctor's Guide to Dating and Grey Divorce

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 03:00:00 -0400

In today’s episode I am joined by my dear friend, Dr. Duana Welch. Dt. Duana has been on the show a couple times, and today we are really focusing on dating advice after a gray divorce. We talk about why gray divorces are happening more often and what the reasons may be behind that. Dr. Duana educates us on what individualism is and how it impacts relationships. She then shares some advice on how to start dating after divorce, setting up your dating profile, and what things to look for in a future love in hopes that it’ll last forever! Tune in to hear some great tips and learn more about love and lasting relationships.

In this episode:

[3:17] Dr. Duana Welch shares her story of finding love again after divorce.
[5:37] Why are gray divorces happening more often?
[10:41] Why has individualism started to develop in long term marriages?
[11:40] What can someone do to prepare themselves for finding love later in life?
[13:49] Are we less happy because of individualism?
[18:35] What are the steps for a woman to find love?
[29:31] A final piece of advice from the love doctor.

Key Takeaways:

Every year that a man is single, whether he's single because his wife died or because he never got married, or because he's divorced, or any combination of these, as soon as he's single, his odds of death from all known causes increases by a factor of six. This is not as high for women because they tend to have more social support.
Science shows that when people are looking at dating apps, they’ll likely swipe right on people who are 10% better looking than they are. The likelihood of you choosing who to date only based on looks won’t lead you to matching with your perfect partner. Learning more about their character is more important than their looks.
If you can find and be someone kind and respectful, your love life is going to go great. And if you can't, it will not.

Quotes:

“In an individualist society, people tend to have a longer strategy of adulthood. So what that means is they get married later and everything about their life happens a little bit later and there's just not the taboo about divorce that there used to be. So, I think those are a lot of the reasons why this phenomenon is happening, but I also know from research that we never stop needing love.” - Dr. Duana Welch

"If you don't ever have to sign on for problems, then you probably aren't going to sign on for relationships because relationships bring joy, but they also bring challenges. What we need is not necessarily collectivist or individualist. We need interdependence. We need to find someone where we help each other feel safe enough where we can mutually depend on each other and we can mutually put the other person's needs co-equal with ours. In the absence of that, you're going to find a lot of unhappiness and even higher divorce rates.” - Dr. Duana Welch

“Men routinely read women as interested in them who make full eye contact while smiling at them with a real eye crinkling smile.” - Dr. Duana Welch

Guest Bio:

Dr. Duana Welch (pronounced DWAY-nah) is known for dating advice, dating coaching, online dating coaching, relationship advice, relationship coaching, and marriage coaching that relies on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the love of their lives. A former professor in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, she has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets and podcasts. Her first book, Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, is now out globally in five languages; its revised and updated edition released in 2022. Love Factually for Single Parents is the second book in the series, specifically geared for finding the right partner not only for readers, but their families. All Duana’s books rely on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the right partner. She is an expert for Paired, the couples relationship app. Her client practice is global, via Zoom and other technologies.

Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch.

Resources:

Love Factually 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

Mentioned in this episode:

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The Family Imprint Institute

Saddle Up Segment: Reclaiming Power From Your Past

Thu, 23 Nov 2023 03:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today I am sharing my experience with taking Johanna’s advice from Tuesday’s episode and seeing if I can release my anxiety. Johanna recommended closing your eyes, picturing the person where you think the unresolved issues came from, and letting them know that it’s impacting your life and you’d like to give the emotion back. Tune in to hear what I did and if I think it worked for my anxiety. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

The Family Imprint Institute Instagram

Email: connect@johannalynn.ca

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

Mentioned in this episode:

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Lessons from the Heart: Discover The Invaluable Insights That Divorce Can Offer About Oneself and the Dynamics of Marriage with Johanna Lynn

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 08:00:00 -0400

Today I am joined by therapist, Johanna Lynn. We discuss the form of therapy she does, which explores epigenetics and unresolved family trauma in order to understand how it affects generations to come. She walks me through how to uncover where my unresolved anxiety may be coming from and how to put a stop to passing that down to my grandchildren. Johanna then discusses what self-regulation is and how to bring it into practice when you are feeling triggered. The information she provides really helps to open your eyes and see that your “issues” may not actually be yours, and there is an opportunity to heal them. This was such a fascinating episode, and I can’t wait for you to listen!

In this episode:

[1:55] Johanna shares her story. [5:42] Johanna explains how her style of therapy works with looking at how you were loved. [8:46] Breaking generational patterns so we don’t pass the trauma down to our children. [10:44] Johanna walks Lesa through uncovering where her anxiety comes from. [14:28] Johanna gives an example of healing generational incomplete or unprocessed grief or trauma. [17:20] What is self regulation? [20:45] How do you bring self regulation and awareness into practice? [24:12] What is one thing listeners could do to start uncovering what generational things may be coming up for themselves.

Key Takeaways:

[18:06] When you are searching for a therapist or counselor, make sure that they are self regulated. A lot of therapists get into this work to sort out their own stuff and they end up passing it along to their clients. [21:12] When you have gone through your own self regulation work, you are able to trust yourself more, and not give yourself away for connection. You have more boundaries, are more grounded, and have a better idea of who you want to be instead of having the environment around you squeeze you into something you’ve learned in your family. [24:52] The more you know your family history, the more well equipped you can be with your own healing.

Quotes:

“The idea that how we were loved as a child imprints how we show up to love and, even how we navigate separation. And so for me, it was such a time to learn when everything was so raw and so vulnerable. It really allowed me to be more humble and take a look at things with a fresh perspective.” - Johanna Lynn

“How do you help yourself self regulate? You clear out your influences of the past. You start to understand - Ooh, that's my great grandma's anxiety. And that's the lens I've been looking at my decisions and my relationships through. This is how my body has been responding, but gosh, maybe it's not even mine.” - Johanna Lynn

"It's a little bit like unpacking your trunk before we're able to fully go on that vacation. We've got to make space for the new stuff that we want to welcome in. And we don't recognize what our blind spots are. They're still a part of us.” - Johanna Lynn

Guest Bio:

Johanna has been connected to the world of separation and divorce for 15 years, originally due to her personal situation, then as a systemic therapist focusing on restoring relationships.

Resources:

The Family Imprint Institute Instagram

Email: connect@johannalynn.ca

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

Mentioned in this episode:

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Melissa Miroslavich – Schromen Law LLC

Saddle Up Segment: The Importance of a Power of Attorney During a Divorce

Thu, 16 Nov 2023 08:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. There are things you need to think about when you’re going through divorce when it comes to estate planning. This includes your power of attorney and health care directive, which really should be updated, if necessary, during the divorce in case anything happens to you during the divorce process. After the divorce you’ll be able to update beneficiaries, your will, and trust, but discussions can happen during the divorce process for this as well, to see if you and your soon to be ex can come to agreements around guardianship and any other aspects that have to do with the children. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Call Schromen Law LLC at 651-571-2515

Melissa Miroslavich's LinkedIn

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

Mentioned in this episode:

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Melissa Miroslavich – Schromen Law LLC

Post-Divorce Prosperity: Estate Planning Essentials with Attorney Melissa Miroslavich

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 08:00:00 -0400

Today I am joined by Attorney Melissa Miroslavich, who helps with estate planning during and after a divorce. Melissa provides so many incredible nuggets during this episode, and even I have a bunch of takeaways and things to implement into the work I do with couples. She discusses the important documents for estate planning and breaks down what each of them are. Melissa talks about how divorce can impact these documents and what needs to be changed during and after the divorce process. She also dives into guardianship and how to make decisions collaboratively when it comes to your children. Tune in to this episode to learn all about estate planning!

In this episode:

[3:02] Melissa tells us her authentic story and how she arrived in law. [6:08] What are the important documents for estate planning? [8:07] How does estate planning change from when you’re married vs divorced? [11:45] What is guardianship? [20:47] Do your beneficiaries change when you’ve gotten divorced or do you need to do something? [22:43] How can an estate planning attorney work together with the rest of your divorce team? [25:37] Melissa provides her key takeaway for estate planning.

Key Takeaways:

One big decision to consider while going through a divorce, that many aren’t even thinking about, is do you still want your spouse listed as your power of attorney or health care directive if something were to happen to you throughout the divorce process?

Estate planning is really about your lifetime. You have documents that move with you throughout your life and change as your needs change.

Working through collaborative law can be a huge benefit when it comes to guardianship decisions. If you can both reach an agreement about where the children will go if something happens to both parents, and can put that in your estate plan it can allow for clarity if that unfortunate situation happens.

Quotes: “If you have a power of attorney in place and healthcare directive, it's very likely you've named your spouse in those roles. The question I would have for a client is, while you're going through this process, in your life, in your capacity, do you still want your spouse to be in those roles if something were to happen to you?” - Melissa Miroslavich

“I love collaborative law, and I'm on the Collaborative Law Institute board. I think that the process for divorce is so much healthier, has so much more respect and dignity for the people involved and for your family.” - Melissa Miroslavich

Guest Bio:

Melissa works with clients to understand their individual goals to create effective, strategic, and adaptable estate plans and collaborates with clients to provide education and advice to help ensure care and asset protection. She believes estate planning is one of the best gifts you can give your loved ones. As such, she also assists pet owners in planning for their pet’s care in the event the pet owner is no longer is able.

Melissa is also a qualified neutral under Rule 114 by the Minnesota Supreme Court and was the first attorney in Minnesota to complete Pet Custody Training. Here are our social media accounts. Let me know if there's anything else you need from me!

Resources:

Call Schromen Law LLC at 651-571-2515

Melissa Miroslavich's LinkedIn

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

Mentioned in this episode:

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Is Entrepreneurship Right for Me?

Saddle Up Segment: Lesa Reflects On Her Mediation Career

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 08:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Feeling confident that there is a way to support yourself and your children after divorce and years of being a stay at home mom can feel so refreshing. Take a look at what you are passionate about and decide if there is something you can do to take that passion to the next step by building your own business. Our guest this week really helped me reflect on the business I have created and how blessed I feel to work for myself, so don’t miss this episode to see the opportunities that may be available to you! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Refined by Divorce YouTube Channel

Refined by Divorce Podcast

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass will share tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Is Entrepreneurship Right for Me?

Divorce to Dollars: Empowering Women in Business

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 08:00:00 -0400

Today I am honored to share my new friend Traci Simkins with you all! Traci helps stay at home moms going through divorce turn their passion into a small service based business. She helps them uncover what they are good at and create a way to make a livable wage to support themselves and their children. Traci provides some great examples of how she helps women uncover this (as well as providing a free resource!) and then dives into the process of working with her. Tune in today to learn more about entrepreneurship and creating an income by following your passion.

In this episode:

[2:16] Traci shares her story. [8:17] How did Traci’s kids do when she got married for a second time? [9:57] What led Traci to start her own business after her second divorce? [11:34] What types of businesses is Traci helping women get started? [13:53] How do you know what kind of business to start? [17:15] How do you transition from your children being your world to entering back into the workforce? [20:05] What is the process when working with Traci? [24:47] Traci shares her one piece of advice that someone can do right now for a better life.

Key Takeaways:

[17:40] Even if you don’t think you have a passion, you do. You just need to uncover it. Then you can take that passion and see if it aligns with a service based business you could start to support yourself. [22:06] We kind of have this idea that having a job that pays us is secure. And it can be, but you can also lose your job. You are dependent on someone else. [24:45] A lot of women tend to go into isolation mode when they are going through a divorce because they don’t want people to know about it. But the best thing you can do for yourself is reach out and ask for help. It could be a coach, a therapist, or finding a support group, but find people you can lean on.

Quotes: “I think for women who are looking to start a business, if you don't have a passion, you don't think you do, you do, it might not, you know, oh, I'm a baker or I've been an artist my whole life and I love to cook. It might not be something like that, but if you have a passion for education, if you have a passion for children, if you have a passion for helping anyone, the only thing you need to do when you build a business is find a problem, deliver a solution.” - Traci Simkins

Guest Bio:

Born in SLC and moving to Honolulu at the age of 14, I developed an agility and adaptability that has served me well. Returning to SLC after 23 years away was a challenge, but it was nothing compared to the two divorces that followed, or to the experience of parenting. A mother first, my children have always been the center of my world and will always be my number one priority, and raising them has been the single most rewarding experience of my life. My professional career, spanning several different industries and managing people, operations, and most recently, projects, has also provided meaning. But facing my 2nd divorce, I began to be discouraged with the corporate landscape, and was ready to shake things up, so I left to start my own small consulting business.

Resources:

Refined by Divorce YouTube Channel

Refined by Divorce Podcast

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Divorce Mediation Center of Fairfield County, LLC | Attorney

Saddle Up Segment: Divorcing A Better Way

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. The way you end one thing, sets you up, sets the stage, and it's the way you begin the next thing. While it takes two willing people to do a divorce collaboratively, it also takes effort on each individual to be working on themselves. There will be stress that comes along with divorce, but think about how you want your life to look on the other side, and hold that vision while you go through the process. Divorce mediation and collaboration isn’t an option for everyone, however you can be confident that there are great attorney’s out there who can help support you. Collaborative divorce, mediation, litigation, the choice is yours, it’s in your hands, and remember how you end one thing sets the stage for your new beginning. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Divorce Mediation CT Instagram

Divorce Mediation Resources

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Divorce Mediation Center of Fairfield County, LLC | Attorney

You Don't Have to Fight it Out in Court Alternative Solutions to Avoiding Court Battles

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 15:32:50 -0400

Today I am honored to have a fellow mediator, Rosemarie Ferrante on the show. Rosemarie walks us through the emotional and financial prep work that is necessary to have a smooth legal divorce process. She talks about her own experience going through a divorce and how she supports her own clients with the tools they need to create a solid co-parenting relationship. Rosemarie clarifies the difference between mediation, collaboration, and what it’s like having to go to litigation. Tune in to get clarity around all the emotional, financial, and legal information that comes with divorce.

In this episode:

[2:06] What led Rosemarie to do the work she is doing?
[5:15] What was Rosemarie’s divorce like?
[7:40] Is there ever a time that mediation doesn’t work?
[9:30] How does Rosemarie use emotional prep work while working with clients?
[16:07] What should people think about finances when they are looking for divorce support?
[19:05] How can a mediator support you through divorce and provide law information?
[25:10] What is the most important thing to do if you are contemplating divorce?

Key Takeaways:

Divorce doesn’t have to be a fight, destructive, or a traumatic experience, it is possible to go through a divorce in a healthy manner with two adults working together.
There is a team involved in your divorce. You need your coaches, your therapist, and financial support. These are investments, but it can ultimately lead to a cheaper divorce if you can avoid going to court and more agreeable decision making if you have worked on yourself.
When contemplating divorce make sure that you do understand your options for a legal process, collaborative divorce, mediation, litigation, what they are and what they aren't. Understand what divorce professionals you can have on your team to best support you.

Quotes:

“The court system is, in my opinion, not meant for families.” - Rosemarie Ferrante

“Every family is different. What you need might be different than what your friend or your neighbor or your sister needed. Understanding all the various roles will be really important for you to be able to have the support you need to get through the process.” - Rosemarie Ferrante

“I think that the most important thing if you're contemplating divorce, is to make sure that you do understand your options for a legal process, collaborative divorce, mediation, litigation, what they are and what they aren't. And then also understand what divorce professionals you can have on your team to best support you.” - Rosemarie Ferrante

Guest Bio:

Rosemarie Ferrante is a family attorney focusing on non-adversarial divorce through mediation and collaborative divorce. She has been practicing exclusively family law for over 25 years. Rosemarie’s goal is to provide families the resources and tools needed to smoothly transition through the divorce process. Her practice helps couples who wish to separate or divorce in reaching agreements that foster goodwill and trust, while meeting each spouse’s individual goals and needs, while most importantly, supporting ongoing positive relationships with their children, and with each other as co-parents.

Resources:

Divorce Mediation CT Instagram

Divorce Mediation Resources

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Register for free today at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: Speaking Positively About Your Co-Parent

Thu, 26 Oct 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week Karen McMahon from Journey Beyond Divorce, shared with us how to be a boundary setting badass! Not only did she give some incredible tips, but she also talked about how respecting your boundaries and identifying your triggers can help you work on your emotional intelligence. Not only will you come out stronger, but you’ll be an incredible example for your children by modeling how they can protect themselves from difficult situations. This was an episode you don’t want to miss. Tune in for more great tips! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Journey Beyond Divorce

Get Your FREE Divorce Survival Kit!

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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⁠Book Your Free Coaching Call⁠

Become a Boundary Badass

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Karen McMahon, from Journey Beyond Divorce, is back for part 2. Karen teaches us all how to be a boundary badass! She shares what to do if your co-parent isn’t respecting your boundaries and paying attention to triggers that you are experiencing. She discusses parallel co-parenting and the logistical complexities of co-parenting. It is so refreshing to hear what Karen has to say, and learning how to take back your power! Tune in today to learn more about becoming a boundary badass!

In this episode:

[1:21] What should you do if someone is not respecting your boundary? [8:37] How can you best manage a parallel co-parenting relationship? [14:34] Karen talks about the logistical complexity of co-parenting. [18:34] How do you notice triggers? [20:43] If your heart wants to deviate from the parenting plan and you want to be flexible with the schedules, should you? [23:43] Lesa shares her parenting plan course.

Key Takeaways:

When talking to your co-parent, communicate just the facts, keep opinions to yourself. Keep your side of the street clean, which helps keep your boundaries upheld.

You have the power to break generational patterns through your actions. Show your children how to handle difficult relationships and how to manage their emotions. Show them how powerful they can be by spreading kindness!

When you start to notice that you are being triggered, step back and look at the situation. Understand what is being triggered and what you need to work on.

Quotes:

“Never let somebody else's bad behavior determine yours. And it's my rule to my clients too, because I could really stoop low when I'm dealing with somebody who's disordered and angry and, but why? Why would you want to stoop low? You're giving your power away.” - Karen McMahon

“To everyone listening: Hot mess. I was the worst. I was the ugliest. I was the most reactive. I was a rageaholic. I was the poster girl for what not to be going through a divorce. I don't want anyone to think that I'm all that. I have just worked really, really hard. And it has been such a beautiful transformation that I'm so passionate about paying it forward and sharing it.” - Karen McMahon

Guest Bio:

Karen founded Journey Beyond Divorce in 2010, after discovering that the pain of dissolving her marriage had been the very stimulus for her personal transformation.

During her three and a half year tumultuous divorce, Karen’s life began to improve exponentially. With much hard work, she embraced her new life, created healthy friendships, found her true voice, and learned to set suitable boundaries and let go of what she could not control.

Learning to live a healthy enlivened life is something that we can share with our children, creating thriving relationships with them while helping them grow emotionally strong and healthy.

Karen is a graduate of the world’s leading coaching institute, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) and a Certified Member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

Karen’s other accomplishments include work as a NYS Lobbyist, Health Advocate, Community Organizer, and Chairperson of a NYS non-profit organization, Director of Sales and Marketing, and successful small business owner.

Resources:

⁠Journey Beyond Divorce⁠

⁠Get Your FREE Divorce Survival Kit!⁠

⁠Lesa Koski Website⁠

⁠Lesa’s Online Courses⁠

⁠Lesa’s Masterclass⁠

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. ⁠Download The Onward App⁠ today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Book Your Free Coaching Call

Saddle Up Segment: How to Deal With Triggers While Co-Parenting

Thu, 19 Oct 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. On this week's episode we talked about dealing with triggers and how to love yourself enough to give empathy. If you are feeling triggered, notice the feeling, take a deep breath, and realize that you do not have to react to it at that moment. You can walk away, think about it, and decide if there needs to be a discussion at a later time when you are not feeling triggered. Tune in for more great tips! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Journey Beyond Divorce

Get Your FREE Divorce Survival Kit!

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Book Your Free Coaching Call

Navigating the Storm: High Conflict Parenting Tools for Managing Triggers

Tue, 17 Oct 2023 07:00:36 -0400

Today is part 1 of a 2 part episode with Karen McMahon, the founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. During this episode we discuss managing triggers while dealing with a high conflict co-parenting relationship. Karen discusses how to set boundaries and alleviate obstacles that may get in the way. She explains emotional energy and how to uplevel the energy you are projecting in order to benefit yourself but also hopefully raise the energy of your co-parent. Tune in for great tips on boundary setting and don’t miss next week’s episode about becoming a boundary bad ass!

In this episode:

[4:01] What was Karen’s experience with her divorce? [6:07] What did Lesa learn to do when she is feeling triggered? [9:05] What was the boundary challenge Karen did recently? [11:05] Lesa and Karen share tools for dealing with high-conflict co-parenting. [15:50] Karen talks about the chapters and waves that we go through. [17:17] Karen discusses the circumstances that can arise with co-parenting and how to handle them. [18:00] How do you alleviate the obstacles? [25:02] How did Karen deal with her triggers from her ex during their divorce?

Key Takeaways:

Your triggers are not from your marriage, they are from something that happened in your childhood. Look at the trigger poking as an opportunity of shining the light on the wounds that you still need to heal. If your boundary is not being honored, you honor it. Go about your business, and follow your boundary whether the person you are trying to apply it to adheres to it or not. There are 7 different levels of emotional energy. When we dive right into the fight, we’re coming from a low level, high conflict energy. Instead think about how you can be kind and compassionate to yourself, ask yourself if you have to respond, and raise your energy to almost forgiveness and compassion.

Quotes:

“Isn’t it interesting that taking care of yourself and your mind is actually affecting that other high-conflict person?” - Lesa Koski

“That trigger predates your marriage. Our triggers never begin at our marriage, they begin in our childhood, so there’s work to be done.” - Karen McMahon

Guest Bio:

Karen founded Journey Beyond Divorce in 2010, after discovering that the pain of dissolving her marriage had been the very stimulus for her personal transformation.

Learning to live a healthy enlivened life is something that we can share with our children, creating thriving relationships with them while helping them grow emotionally strong and healthy.

Karen is the mother of two emerging adults, a graduate of the world’s leading coaching institute, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) and a Certified Member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

Resources:

Journey Beyond Divorce

Get Your FREE Divorce Survival Kit!

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Her Empowered Divorce Website

Saddle Up Segment: Finding Yourself After An Abusive Relationship

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse. If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for 24/7 Confidential Support: 800-799-7233

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Understanding what an abusive relationship looks like can be truly life changing for yourself or someone you love. Hiring a coach to help you navigate divorce after an abusive relationship, whether financial, emotional, physical or mental, can be a very empowering decision so that you can move forward with your life in the best way possible while also uncovering your identity post divorce. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Her Empowered Divorce Instagram

Her Empowered Divorce Podcast

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Register for free today at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

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Her Empowered Divorce Website

From Pain to Empowerment: A Divorce Coach's Guide to Healing After Abuse

Tue, 10 Oct 2023 07:00:02 -0400

Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse. National Domestic Violence Hotline for 24/7 Confidential Support: 800-799-7233

Today I am joined by Beverly Price, founder of Her Empowered Divorce. Beverly shares signs of abuse that people most often experience, the signs of abuse, as well as the fact that some people don’t even realize they are in an abusive relationship. Beverly is a big proponent of bringing awareness to domestic abuse and is even putting on an awareness program this month. Beverly talks about the benefits of hiring a coach to help you prior to the divorce, during, and after to come from an empowering position. Tune in today to hear her red flags and learn how a coach can help you through this difficult time.

In this episode:

[2:08] Beverly shares her authentic story.
[7:50] What are some of the signs that a person is being abused?
[10:36] What are the components of financial abuse?
[17:33] When should someone contact Beverly for divorce coaching?
[19:40] Beverly discusses her awareness program.
[22:40] Beverly shares a piece of advice about empowerment.

Key Takeaways:

One form of abuse that is often overlooked is financial abuse. It’s so easy for a spouse to take over all finances, have everything in their name, and control all money, however this can be a form of abuse. This can start simply by only one spouse's name on a credit card or on the house, and it can drag further into a spouse not having any rights to the family money.
Hiring a divorce coach can be a great way to get a plan together before the divorce is even on the table.
Abuse is usually about power and control. The person doing the abusive behavior will do whatever it takes to prove their control. While it can start out small and unnoticeable, the longer in the relationship, they often desire more control.
If you see something, say something. Oftentimes, abuse is condoned with silence. The more we speak out about abuse, the more awareness one has around abusive behaviors, and the more likely that someone will ask for help and that those behaviors will not be tolerated.

Quotes:

“Abuse is really about power and control. It's not necessarily about the money, it's not necessarily about sex. It's about power and control in any of the forms.” - Beverly Price

“Don’t condone domestic violence by your silence. Let's combat it with awareness. Let's shift from condoning to condemning.” - Beverly Price

Guest Bio:

I am Beverly Price, a passionate separation, divorce, empowerment and pre-mediation coach, as well as a podcast host on a mission. Through my own personal journey of overcoming obstacles, I have emerged as a fighter, and now I want to change the lives of women just like you. I am committed to empowering and instilling confidence in women navigating the journey of divorce. My mission is to help these women embrace their innate confidence, beauty, and empowerment, empowering them to step forward and claim their rightful place in the world. Together, let us embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, where you can rewrite your own story and reclaim your power. The time has come for you to flourish and thrive, and I am here to guide you every step of the way.

Resources:

Her Empowered Divorce Instagram

Her Empowered Divorce Podcast

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Divorce Essentials: A Guide To A Successful Split

Saddle Up Segment: Advice From A Divorce Lending Professional

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today, Lesa is reflecting on her conversation with Tami Wollensak, a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). Tami shared all of the things to consider about your mortgage when negotiating a divorce settlement. Whether you are considering keeping your home or selling your home or maybe even keeping the home together after a divorce, Tuesday’s insightful episode is for you. Tami’s key takeaway from the episode is to surround yourself with experienced professionals when you are going through a divorce. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Book A Meeting with Tami

Take Or Leave The House Website

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Divorce Essentials: A Guide To A Successful Split

From Separation to Home Sweet Home: Navigating Divorce and Refinancing

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Today we are joined by Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®), Tami Wollensak. Tami shares how she helps her clients before they sign their settlement agreement by creating different options for them and making them aware of what those options look like, allowing them to make a better informed decision, and ultimately have a better divorce. Tami also shares advice on what to look for when considering negotiating a new mortgage after divorce, or keeping your current mortgage. Tune in today to learn more from a CDLP and receive a free resource.

In this episode:

[1:30] Tami shares why she became a CDLP. [4:30] What to look out for regarding rising interest rates and negotiating a new/current mortgage. [7:00] Tami shares her thoughts on keeping the home for the kids. [10:50] Tami and Lesa discuss their resource that they’ve created for Doing Divorce Different listeners. [14:00] Tami shares her thoughts on owning a home together after a divorce. [18:17] Tami discusses interest rates and creating a customized Divorce Mortgage Plan. [23:00] Tami’s advice on building a team of professionals around you through your divorce.

Key Takeaways:

Knowing what you are signing up for helps bring peace to you and gives you clarity on what your divorce budget will look like. It’s really important to make sure that you know what you are doing and what you are signing up for during your divorce settlement. It’s not about having a big giant house and a mortgage that you can’t handle, it’s about creating a safe space for your children, a warm and loving environment that they feel loved in. Divorce Settlements are not a one size fits all, so it’s important to work with a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®) to create a plan that works best for you and your family, and ultimately, have a better divorce.

Quotes:

“I realized I could make a difference by helping people before they sign their divorce settlement by creating different options for them and making them aware of what those options look like, then they could make a better informed decision for them and their families, and ultimately have a better divorce.” Tami Wollensak

Guest Bio:

Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 28+ year veteran of the industry, she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions and mortgage options while going through the most challenging time of their life.

Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). This specialization provides the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client’s attorney, coach, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple’s real estate or future purchase. Tami has been a guest on multiple podcasts, speaks regularly and contributes to many media outlets on divorce mortgage planning and helping divorcing

homeowners to make better and more informed decisions when it comes to their real property.

As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami’s goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. Tami can lend in all 50 states. (NMLS #1963450)

Resources:

Book A Meeting with Tami

Take Or Leave The House Website

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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⁠Doing Divorce Different Soberlink⁠

Saddle Up Segment: Staying Connected With Your Children After Your Divorce

Thu, 28 Sep 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week on the podcast, Brian Burns joined me to talk about strategies to get through being away from your children after divorce. We talked about how to stay connected with your children while they are away at the other parents home and how to use that time as an opportunity to work on yourself and feel your emotions. Tune in to learn the great tips that Brain has to offer to ensure you are more intentional with your time with your children. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

⁠Brian Burns Website⁠

⁠Lesa Koski Website⁠

⁠Lesa’s Online Courses⁠

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses.⁠ Download The Onward App⁠ today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Parenting Beyond Divorce and Coping with Reduced Time After Divorce

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Today I am joined by Brian Burns, who has been on the show many times, and is just one of my favorite family therapists! He always has such great insight and tips to share with my listeners. For this episode, Brian is talking about how to parent beyond divorce and cope with seeing your children less. He gives wonderful tips about how to navigate a difficult co-parenting relationship, and how to maintain connection with your children even when they are at the other parent's house. Tune in to ease your mind about not being with your children as much and how to make your time with them even more intentional.

In this episode:

[4:04] How do we not get baited into conflict while co-parenting?

[6:12] What do you do if you cannot co-parent with your ex?

[11:47] Does Brian agree that if kids are with a healthy parent 50% of the time that they’ll be fine?

[13:19] How do we let go and accept that you won’t be with your kid every night?

[20:48] Brian gives advice for helping parents who are adjusting to co-parenting with young kids.

Key Takeaways:

You can only choose how you act, you are only 50% of your co-parenting relationship. Take responsibility for what you can, and be the best parent that you can be for your children. Focus on what is important to you, and be intentional with the time you have with your children.

While adjusting to a co-parenting schedule, remember the love that the other parent has for the children. It is often true that your ex spouse is a good parent, maybe just not a great co-parent. They love your children and are doing the best they can be doing.

Stay connected with your children when they aren't with you, but don’t make it about you. Utilize technology to send a message letting them know that you are thinking of them, and as a way to stay connected. It’s a beautiful thing when technology can be used in a positive way, plus it can reduce the need for you and your ex to talk to each other.

Quotes:

“You are your own boss, you find your own direction, decision making, judgment from within yourself, and you don’t look to other people to define you or to be in charge of how you feel, or to make you feel good about yourself. Having an internal focus of control or an internal sense of yourself that you're in charge of yourself is the answer.” - Brian Burns

“Remind yourself that it’s not about you, remind yourself that the best parents do let their kids go. That our job is to make it so that they don’t need us anymore.” - Brian Burns

Guest Bio:

I am also a certified mediator, parenting coach, and Rule-29 Neutral in the State of MN. This means I have the skills and experience necessary to help parents who are divorced to make agreements about parenting in a collaborative and child-centered manner. I believe that even though conflict and fear can bring out the worst in people, everyone has the capacity to be a better version of themselves, and that our children need us to give it all we have to be our best.

Resources:

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Sample Court Order and Workshop Workbook

Saddle Up Segment: Reflecting on Parallel Parenting

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Learning how to be in a parallel parenting relationship can make a huge difference in your children’s life. This saddle up segment talks about how to manage a parallel parenting situation, setting boundaries, and how to follow your parenting plan for your child's safety. Tune in today to learn how. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Podcast Companion Journal

Co-Parent Dilemmas Website

Non-Impossible Facebook Group

LinkedIn Professionals Group

Co-Parent Dilemmas Instagram

Dianne's Twitter

Co-Parent Dilemmas YouTube Channel

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Sample Court Order and Workshop Workbook

Navigating Co-Parenting After Divorce

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 07:00:00 -0400

On this week's podcast I am joined by the hosts of Co-Parent Dilemmas, Diane Dierks and Rick Voyles. Diane and Rick discuss parallel parenting and how they mediate with parents going through a divorce. They give some amazing tips on how to set boundaries and work alongside your child’s other parent, while still maintaining how you want to support your child. Rick and Diane talk about why a parenting plan is so important, not only to have in place, but also how it supports and protects the children. Tune in today to learn about different types of co-parenting and how to utilize the parenting plan to do what's best for your child.

In this episode:

[2:20] Diane introduces who she is and how she got into the co-parent support space. [4:52] Rick shares with us how he became a mediator. [6:25] Do Rick and Diane believe that co-parenting can be an easy transition? What do they typically see during their mediations? [8:29] What is parallel parenting? [13:56] How do you adjust your parenting with parallel parenting? [15:08] What do Rick and Diane advise when working with a couple as parenting coordinators? [18:53] What can you do when the co-parent isn’t cooperating? What’s the best way to set boundaries? [25:12] Why is a parenting plan so important?

Key Takeaways:

Put your arguments in perspective, are the things you are arguing about really going to matter in 10 years. And if they will matter in 10 years, then make the decision based on what’s best for your children, not just arguing because that’s what YOU wanted.

Do not get yourself in a double bind of always giving the other parent everything they want and getting nothing in return. Not only are you violating your parenting plan, but you are also setting yourself up for a risk of them using your generosity against you in the future.

Parallel parenting is when you are able to come from a place of “I am a parent, you are a parent, but we are not parents together.” Coming from this place can help you stay in your own lane and be responsible for your actions, not your co-parents actions.

Quotes:

“The only reason you walk out of there with a parenting plan is to protect the children.” - Rick Voyles

“The kids don't suffer because of lack of cooperation. They suffer because of the presence of conflict. So it's not that you need to be cooperative in order for the kids to be okay. You need to have a style in which there isn't conflict.” - Diane Dierks

Guest Bio:

Diane Dierks is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Georgia. She is Executive Director of the Center for Navigating Family Change, a non-profit that provides co-parent education and other services for the courts. She is also co-host of the podcast Co-Parent Dilemmas.

Rick Voyles is Diane's podcast co-host. He is CEO of the Center for Dispute Solutions. He is also a published author, mediator and anger management specialist.

Listeners may contact us at 1234Dilemma@gmail.com or leave a voicemail on our website at www.CPDilemmas.com.

Link to free giveaway would be a download of our email protocol sample court order and workshop workbook that can be found at www.cnfc.org/documents.

The Amazon link to our new podcast companion journal is at https://www.amazon.com/Am-NON-Impossible-12-Week-Journey-Co-Parenting/dp/0974525448.

Resources:

Podcast Companion Journal

Co-Parent Dilemmas Website

Non-Impossible Facebook Group

LinkedIn Professionals Group

Co-Parent Dilemmas Instagram

Dianne's Twitter

Co-Parent Dilemmas YouTube Channel

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

The Co-Parenting Handbook

Saddle Up Segment: Communicating as Co-Parents vs As A Married Couple

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. When you are co-parenting, you are no longer parenting as a couple. Your marriage is over, but your relationship will go on forever because of the children that you share. So how should you communicate with your ex-spouse to keep as much peace as possible? Karen shares how to parent skillfully in Tuesday’s episode, you don’t want to miss it! Tune in today to learn how. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Karen S Bonnell Website

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Karen S Bonnell's Website

Co-Parenting Champions: Navigating Divorce with Grace

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Today I am joined by consultant, mentor, and writer Karen Bonnell. She is author of The Co-Parenting Handbook, which helps parents work through the end of their relationship with their children in mind. Karen talks with us about teasing apart your marriage relationship into a co-parenting relationship. She gives great tips and strategies from her book and tells how to keep the focus on your children. Tune in today to hear refreshing ideas, learn skills, and understand the possibilities to build a strong co-parenting relationship.

In this episode:

[2:37] What led Karen down the path to help families co-parent better? [5:31] What made Karen write her book The Co-Parenting Handbook?[8:44] Karen shares key take-a-ways from her book. [12:00] How do you start to tease apart your marriage relationship to a co-parenting relationship? [14:40] How can you best communicate with your soon to be ex spouse when you are feeling triggered? [20:34] How do you keep focus on the child? [22:07] Karen shares the most important strategy she uses with co-parents. [26:26] Karen shares a final piece of advice that listeners can start with today.

Key Takeaways:

When you are splitting up from your spouse, you can no longer have a conversation like you are married. Set up time to discuss a topic and stick to only that topic. A meeting to discuss the children, a meeting to discuss assets, etc. Remember that co-parenting is not an option. It is going to happen either way, so put your child(ren) in the focus and make decisions that will benefit them. Take into account not only your feelings but the feeling that your soon to be ex is also experiencing. Find compassion, and take a step away when you notice that they are feeling triggered.

Quotes:

“Co-parenting is not an option. The question isn't whether we’re going to co-parent, the question is how skillfully will I show up as a co-parent.” - Karen Bonnell

“I can learn the skills, I'm gonna show up, that's my gift to my children, it's the best I can do.” - Karen Bonnell

“We sit in this fire, we work with the fire, we calm down the fire, and then we take those zims and we rebuild the family. It's this time it's gonna be a two home family. We're not gonna let it just lay there in ashes. We're gonna cultivate something that's really gonna help children thrive.” - Karen Bonnell

Guest Bio:

Karen will help you answer the question, “What’s best for kids?” …and build a firm foundation as you restructure your family. Parents receive guidance for how to keep kids central and parenting strong – even under difficult circumstances. Karen has culled her knowledge and skills from 40 years as a psychotherapist / psychiatric nurse practitioner (retired) to inform today’s coaching: Her ability to provide you not only a safe harbor to explore concerns, but also to gain insight into best practices as you plan for two-home family life and beyond … even as you begin dating again or creating a stepfamily.

For professionals, Karen is available for consultation anytime you hope that two heads will be better than one. There may be information, resources, referrals you need – don’t hesitate to ask. If you’re a representative of a group, organization or law firm seeking advanced training – forward-thinking methodologies and skills – Karen’s nationally sought-after programs are described under Mentoring Services. Please reach out with questions and for additional information.

Resources:

The Co-Parenting Handbook

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Free Consultation with Tracy

Saddle Up Segment: Having Courage To Feel Sad

Thu, 07 Sep 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Do you find yourself running from uncomfortable feelings such as sadness? It may feel icky, but if you have the courage to dig into it, you’ll find confidence in your decisions and the circumstances you are experiencing. You can feel sadness AND joy. Tune in today to learn how. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Free Consultation with Tracy

Navigating Confidence and the Empty Nest After Divorce

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 07:00:00 -0400

On today’s episode, I brought Tracy back to go more in depth regarding confidence, and then do some coaching with me about my sadness around becoming an empty nester. Tracy walks through the 4 C’s of confidence, and discusses how to work through each step to gain confidence for each circumstance you are facing. We then take 10 minutes to dive into what I am experiencing as I become an empty nester, and Tracy coaches me through my feelings and what the truth actually is for me. Tune in today to get a sneak peek into coaching, and to understand gaining your own confidence.

In this episode:

[2:39] What are the 4 C’s of confidence? [9:50] Lesa goes through the 4 C’s with her topic of becoming an empty-nester. [14:10] How to avoid judging the feelings that you are experiencing. [15:56] How do you remember your courage and confidence when you keep backtracking to heavy feelings? [20:09] How do you make the decision that you do want to feel good about it? [25:03] What is Tracy’s mission through her coaching?

Key Takeaways:

Feeling sadness is the only reason that you can feel joy and visa versa. The only reason you can feel sadness is because you have the context of feeling joy. Have the courage to look at your feelings, that will unleash a whole new world of finding confidence in your situation. Confidence isn’t something that you can flip the script on. You have to work through the feelings and thoughts that you are experiencing, and go through the 4 C’s in order to become fully confident in your circumstances.

Quotes:

“Most of us do not believe that we have the capacity to feel these emotions. That’s what leads to a lot of addictions. We then try to buffer with food, with alcohol, we do things to make that feeling go away or to numb it.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“It doesn’t have to be an either or. Don’t forget that you can feel sad and you can feel at peace. You can feel sad and you can feel excited. It doesn't have to be an either or, think about it as an AND, that will help you allow that sadness to be there and be excited and be at peace.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“The only reason you feel the sadness is because you were gifted the opportunity to feel the exact opposite, it afforded you that opportunity. So you always have that baked in, built in circumstance to be really grateful and appreciative of.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Resources:

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Saddle Up Segment: Knowing When You Are Ready To Get A Divorce

Thu, 31 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. How can you feel confident about getting divorced? Learn how to become aware of what you are feeling and how to know when you are confident in the decision you are making. Once you’ve made the decision, write down why so you can reflect on that information if you start having doubts in the future. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

How to Feel Confident with your Decision to Divorce

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Today, I have Tracy Pleschourt from Self Made U back on the podcast! We are talking about how to feel confident in your decisions. Tracy talks about how to know if you are ready to make a big decision in your life, and the best ways to really sit with that decision to ensure you are making it from the best place possible. She also explains our primitive and prodigy brains and how they can work against each other. The tips Tracy shares hold true whether you are making decisions about work, life, business, or divorce, so tune in to learn how to feel confident in your decisions.

In this episode:

[3:01] How do you know when you are ready to take action and make a decision? [6:15] How do you know if you have all the information you need to make a decision? [9:53] What actions can you take to make sure you are making the right decision? Tracy walks through an example of someone finding out their significant other cheated on them. [11:13] How do our primitive and prodigy sides of our brain work? [16:34] Why does divorce create a feeling of suffrage and how do you work through it?

Key Takeaways:

When you come up on a situation that has you feeling like you have to make a decision, take a step back and ask yourself “what feeling is driving that action?” Don’t make a big decision from a feeling of desperation. Once you’ve made a decision that you feel confident in, write down why you like the decision that you made. The likelihood that you’ll come back to the decision you made and feel unsure is high, so having it written down will help calm your brain. As humans, we are expected to feel every emotion. That is good for us, it helps keep us aware, and is a necessary part of life. Learning WHEN to make decisions that go along with the feelings we are experiencing is a skill that needs to be learned.

Quotes:

“Any good decision that you make, requires fact finding. It requires you to tap into resources and referencing any sort of mentoring, any sort of resource you might need yet to tap into, you might need to remind yourself that you have already tapped into it.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“If your goal is to feel confident in the decision that you made, you've got to back up from the action of making the decision, and find what feeling is driving you.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“When you are feeling the pain, or you are feeling the terror, that is a human response, we are all supposed to experience all of the emotions available to us, including suffrage, including terror, but we don't want to suffer unnecessarily or compound that suffering with judgment that sounds like you shouldn't. Have some compassion, have some grace for yourself, show yourself some empathy.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Resources:

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Great Lakes Divorce Financial Solutions

Saddle Up Segment: Realigning With Your Financial Values

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Is divorce keeping you up at night? If so, take a minute to shift your mindset and accept that while things have changed, you now have the opportunity to reevaluate your financial values, understand your finances, and change anything you want about your money situation. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Watch Her Thrive Facebook Group

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Great Lakes Divorce Financial Solutions

What's Keeping You up at Night with your Divorce?

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Today I am joined by Leah Hadley, the Founder and CEO of Great Lakes Divorce Financial Solutions. Leah is on the show to talk about financial preparation before, during, and after a divorce. She provides some incredible tips on how to set yourself up so you are knowledgeable about your finances as well as planning for the next steps. Leah provides a full list of items in this episode for you to collect throughout the divorce to be successful. Tune in today so you can be prepared!

In this episode:

[2:04] What led Leah to help people through finances and divorce? [7:52] What things should people prepare before a divorce? [11:04] Is there ever a negative implication for running your credit report? [12:10] How to get the education to be knowledgeable during the divorce process. [16:03] What questions do you need to ask yourself when splitting up assets to ensure that you have financial security? [20:13] What to look at and how to set yourself up for success post divorce.

Key Takeaways:

Divorce provides you with an opportunity to determine your own values. Many times we negotiate our values or lose sight of them while in a marriage, so this is a time to reclaim your life. Many people find themselves in a way after divorce that is truly beautiful. Understanding the current financial situation is essential when going into a divorce. Being aware of what the budget is, what your fixed expenses are, and where there is financial liquidity will lead to coming out on the other side in a better situation. Things will likely shift post divorce as far as expenses and the luxuries that you are able to have. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as you may end up realizing that you feel better in a different home or with a different vehicle. Less financial stress leads to a more peaceful life and home.

Quotes:

“If you're stressed, you're financially strapped to try to stay in this home, that just creates a lot more angst around the whole financial situation, and it just gets worse. It doesn't get easier, it compounds if you’re already in a tight financial situation.” - Leah Hadley

“When you get to reclaim your life in this next chapter, you get to decide what am I going to prioritize, what are my values?” - Leah Hadley

Guest Bio:

As the Founder/CEO of Great Lakes Divorce Financial Solutions and Great Lakes Investment Management, Leah strives to help clients secure their financial independence through a strategic financial planning process.

Leah is a sought-after speaker on overcoming financial setbacks, avoiding financial mistakes in divorce, and overcoming financial abuse. She has contributed to numerous books and online publications and is the author of When It's Just Not Working: A Practical Divorce Guide for Stay-At-Home Moms. She earned her BA from Bryn Mawr College and holds an MA from Ursuline College. In addition to being an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC) and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Leah is a trained mediator with 100+ hours of training in conflict resolution.

Above all, Leah truly enjoys helping her clients succeed and reach their most cherished goals. Actively involved in her local community, she is a longtime member of the Rotary, the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO), and the PTA. Leah enjoys reading, hiking, and spending time with her three children and four dogs in her spare time.

Resources:

Watch Her Thrive Facebook Group

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Saddle Up Segment: Sharing Your Divorce Plan

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week I had marriage and family therapist, Brian Burns on the show. He talks about being intentional and planning what you're going to say to your loved ones when going through a divorce. Whether you are telling your in-laws, friends, or even your adult children, Brian has some great tips to work together and communicate in a positive way. Tune in to hear some language you can use to set the stage for an intentional conversation. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Bad Weather Podcast

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

How to Tell Your Parents you are Getting Divorced

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Marriage and family therapist, Brian Burns, is back again! Today we are talking about how to tell your parents and loved ones that you are getting divorced. Brian has some fantastic advice about navigating family relationships during divorce and creating an intentional message that you and your spouse will share with loved ones. We also talk about maintaining relationships with your ex-family if desired. Brian discusses how to approach telling adult children about a divorce decision and how it may be harder for them than younger children to understand the decision. Tune in today for great tips!

In this episode:

[2:38] How do you navigate family relationships during divorce?

[5:06] How do you make a plan to tell your families that you’ll be getting divorced? [7:40] Communicating the divorce decision when there isn’t a “big reason” why the divorce is happening. [10:48] Creating an intentional message about what you share to your loved ones. [14:19] Tips to maintain relationships with your ex-family. [16:13] How do you approach your adult children about your divorce decision? [18:44] Sharing news on social media about your marriage ending. [22:41] Brian provides his best piece of advice when telling loved ones about divorce.

Key Takeaways:

Have a plan about the message that you want to put out to the world. Hopeful and positive, sharing the bad news of what’s happening in a way that gives enough information to help people understand, but not so much that it violates privacy and hurts people. Talk to your families about your expectations of continued relationships. For example, that you won’t tolerate any negative talk in front of your children about your ex-spouse. With minor children, adult children, and family, you cannot put them in the middle. For adult children, your divorce may be harder for them, as they can feel the emotional weight of the decision.

Quotes:

“As adults we recognize the gravity and emotional weight of things like this, where younger children just don’t have the capacity to really contemplate things that heavy.” - Brian Burns

“Nothing that we're gonna say is more important than love and the care that we have for you, for our family, for our kids, for each other, even though it's bad news. And that just set the tone for continuing relationships. Nothing that we say is going to get in the way of our relationships.” - Brian Burns

Guest Bio:

I’m Brian Burns, and I have been practicing as a licensed family therapist since January 1999. I specialize in helping adults in the midst of relationship crises restore trust, intimacy, and communication. Whenever possible, I prefer to help couples save and strengthen their marriages or committed relationships. However, not all relationships can (or should) stay together. In these cases, I help the couple end the relationship in a way that is healthy for everyone, especially when there are children involved. I am also a certified mediator, parenting coach, and Rule-29 Neutral in the State of MN. This means I have the skills and experience necessary to help parents who are divorced to make agreements about parenting in a collaborative and child-centered manner. I believe that even though conflict and fear can bring out the worst in people, everyone has the capacity to be a better version of themselves, and that our children need us to give it all we have to be our best.

Resources:

The Grey Divorce Podcast Episode

Bad Weather Podcast

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Fraud Coach Website - Doing Divorce Different Resources

Saddle Up Segment: Reclaiming and Understanding Your Finances During a Divorce

Thu, 10 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week, Lesa reflects on her conversation with forensic accountant Tracey Coenen. While a divorcing couple utilizing mediation may not need a forensic accountant per se, it is still a good idea to gain an understanding of your combined and individual finances. If you are not in charge of the finances, please do not feel ashamed for not having this information. Lesa touches on different ways you can start this process and create a spending plan for the future. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Fraud Coach Website

Book: Find Me The Money: Take Control, Uncover the Truth, and Win the Money You Deserve In Your Divorce

Book: Lifestyle Analysis in Divorce Cases: Investigating Spending and Finding Hidden Income and Assets

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Fraud Coach Website - Doing Divorce Different Resources

Divorcing, Where has the Money Gone?

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Today I am joined by forensic accountant, Tracy Coenen. She provides some great information for anyone who wants to get a better handle with their finances and then discusses tips for those going through divorce. Tracy provides a list of red flags to look out for and tells the most common places your spouse may hide money. Then she talks about creating a spending plan and how to take control of your finances so that you can feel empowered. You’ll also hear definitions about financial infidelity and financial abuse and how to handle either of those situations. Tune in to this episode so you can feel confident about your finances!

In this episode:

[1:47] What is a forensic accountant? [3:28] How can people use Tracy’s Divorce Money Guide? [4:11] What are the financial red flags that people should keep an eye out for? [5:33] If someone is just starting the divorce process, where should they start? [7:38] How to make a spending plan less stressful. [8:31] What is financial infidelity? [10:04] How do you find something that is hidden such as a savings or checking account? [13:12] What is considered financial abuse? [14:30] Who needs a forensic accountant? [16:30] How to become hands on with finances as you are going through divorce. [18:44] What do you do if statements don’t come through or you don’t have access to something such as a 401K?

Key Takeaways:

At the beginning of the divorce process (or even more), take a look at your bank statements and get an understanding of how you’ve been spending. Having this information will allow you to dig in and see if there are any odd bank transfers, create a spending plan, and determine what spending needs to continue vs. what luxuries you may need to give up temporarily. Watch for red flags during your relationship. Some red flags are: Being secretive about money

Behavior Change - Secretive about where they are at, hiding their phone, etc.
Documents disappearing from the house
Forged signatures on documents
Having you sign documents while insisting you don’t need to read them
Stop relying on your spouse to know all the information about finances. Have monthly meetings where you go over all the finance details - bank balance, spending, 401k accounts, etc. This puts you both on the same page for information and allows you to be knowledgeable about what is going on.

Quotes:

“How empowering it is to know that you have just gotten in your hot little hands the financial data that can help you figure out all sorts of things. You might never use those documents for whatever reason, you might not end up looking at them, but having them is really empowering.” - Tracy Coenen

“When I think about financial abuse, I think of someone using money to control you, to control your activities. So maybe they're restricting what you can spend, maybe they're taking a microscope to what you're spending every dime of it. Maybe they are not even allowing you to have any money to spend. Or they are recklessly spending, endangering your family, they are hiding money from you, there are all sorts of things that can fall under that umbrella.” - Tracy Coenen

Guest Bio:

Resources:

Fraud Coach Website

Book: Find Me The Money: Take Control, Uncover the Truth, and Win the Money You Deserve In Your Divorce

Book: Lifestyle Analysis in Divorce Cases: Investigating Spending and Finding Hidden Income and Assets

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Allegiant Divorce Solutions Website

Saddle Up Segment: Maintaining Balance During Divorce

Thu, 03 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During last week’s episode, financial advisor Jamie Lima talked about maintaining balance in your life. This includes going through your budget and dreaming up your future budget. He discussed the importance of finding a balance between saving to prepare for your future, and living in the now. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Jamie Lima's LinkedIn

Allegiant Divorce Instagram

Jamie Lima's Instagram

Allegiant Divorce Facebook Page

Woodson Wealth Management Facebook Page

Jamie Lima's TikTok

Jamie Lima's Twitter

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Allegiant Divorce Solutions Website

Insights from a Financial Advisor's Personal Journey through Divorce

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Today I have financial advisor Jamie Lima on the show. Jamie was a child of divorce, went through a challenging divorce of his own, and now helps others understand their finances while facing divorce. During this episode, Jamie provides great advice and tips regarding the steps people should go through while preparing for a divorce. He discusses creating financial balance in your life. Jamie has such a great way of articulating finances, you won’t want to miss this episode!

In this episode:

[2:21] Jamie tells us his story and background. [7:15] How does Jamie partner with attorneys and mediators through a divorce? [10:19] Jamie tells us about his work and what he does. [12:25] Does Jamie work with individuals or with couples? [17:11] What would be the first thing Jamie would advise someone to do when first going through a divorce. [19:16] What is the next step after understanding your current financial state? [21:38] How to balance out your new budget and lifestyle habits.

Key Takeaways:

When people can go to someone to get clarity, and understand their values and what they want for the future, they’ll be able to come to the divorce or mediation prepared and knowledgeable. This helps you feel more calm and confident with the future of finances. Determine your financial balance and the vision for your life. Do you want to get to the end of your life and have a million dollars saved up, or do you want to spend some money now and enjoy your life today. What do you want saved for retirement? What do you need to maintain your life post divorce? How do you have fun and enjoy life? Set aside any negative/bitter feelings that you may have when possible and work together to come to a solution for your financial settlement. It can happen where one person is so bitter they are going to make it all difficult, but what they forget is that it’s hurting everyone, including the children.

Guest Bio:

I grew up in a family that always seemed to have money challenges. That led me to a career in finance as I wanted to learn and understand how to better support myself and my family. I began my career in 2006 with Morgan Stanley, and in 2011 joined Fidelity Investments. I was responsible for overseeing $1 billion in assets for 450 families and businesses. Today, I primarily focus on mid-career professionals, working to maximize their wealth, so they can do what they love with zero financial stress. I also am a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and founded Allegiant Divorce Solutions in 2023 to help others better prepare for, navigate, and recover financially from divorce. I promised myself early on that I would do whatever was required to ensure that my clients never felt the same struggles related to money that I did. I really love helping clients make important financial decisions and making the puzzle pieces ‘fit’ for them. Outside of work my wife, Dawn, and I spend a lot of time in our Jeep driving the country backroads here in inland San Diego, working around our farm (we currently have sheep, goats, chickens, pigs, ducks, and rabbits!) and trying to keep up with our 5 (yes, 5!) kids.

Resources:

Jamie Lima's LinkedIn

Allegiant Divorce Instagram

Jamie Lima's Instagram

Allegiant Divorce Facebook Page

Woodson Wealth Management Facebook Page

Jamie Lima's TikTok

Jamie Lima's Twitter

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Saddle Up Segment: Practicing Gratitude and Reclaiming Your Power

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Going through a divorce creates a lot of stress, and this week’s guest, Gary Miles gives some great tips on getting through these times with gratitude. Tune in to learn how gratitude and acceptance can help you take control of circumstances. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

The Free Lawyer Podcast

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Divorce Stress Coping Strategies

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Today I have attorney Gary Miles on the podcast. His mission in his practice is to provide practical tools to help his clients overcome obstacles freeing them to enjoy the success and freedom they crave. Throughout this episode he gives so many incredible tips for working through stressors while going through difficult times. He talks about the benefits of mediation, and how oftentimes the decisions you can reach together will be more beneficial than the conclusions a judge will reach. Gary discusses the importance of gratitude and mentorship to help stay in a positive place. Tune in to fill yourself up with positivity and uplifting advice!

In this episode:

[3:12] Gary shares his story about how he got started in law and what led him to become an attorney. [5:06] Why is being in a high high place not healthy for Gary? [6:35] How did Gary’s recovery impact his career? [9:10] How people can handle stressors while going through a difficult time. [11:57] Gary shares the benefits of mediation. [14:50] How does mediation work when someone cannot feel safe due to a form of abuse? [17:21] Can mediation work with a narcissist? [19:37] How to use mentorship to help people through difficult things you’ve gone through. [25:15] Gary’s advice on what you can do today to stay balanced.

Key Takeaways:

Find the gift in everything. We cannot control our lives, things are going to happen that are difficult, but finding the gifts and trusting that everything will work out the way it is meant to is a great way to have a positive mindset. Working through mediation and coming to an agreement between the two of you will end up being better than any court appointed judge could decide for you and your family. Although you may not get everything you want, it lessens the likelihood of there being resentment because you were able to talk through it and reach a decision together. Practice gratitude - every day for a month, write down 3 things you're grateful for every morning. You cannot write down the same thing twice. Every night, write down the things that happened that day that you're grateful for. Review the morning and evening list every day.

Quotes:

“If parties can reach their own decision, two things happen always. One, it's a better decision for themselves and for the kids. The court could never decide something better for the parties then they could jointly agree themselves. And the second is it's much more enforceable, it's much less likely to be contested because this was our agreement.” - Gary Miles

Guest Bio:

Gary Miles has been practicing law for more than four decades, primarily in litigation and, more recently, in family law. He has been a trial lawyer, managing partner, author, leader, and entrepreneur. He loves helping folks solve their problems. He is passionate about showing people how to free themselves from the prisons that entrap them.

He has seen the pressures we face in the legal profession. He is dedicated to helping his clients achieve fulfillment in their practice. He provides practical tools to help his clients overcome obstacles freeing them to enjoy the success and freedom they crave.

He loves supporting lawyers and lifting the legal profession. He hosts a podcast, The Free Lawyer, with two weekly episodes. He enjoys his Pinehurst, NC, home with his wife, Brenda, and their two beautiful English Goldens. They have five children and five grandchildren (so far!).

Resources:

The Free Lawyer Podcast

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Saddle Up Segment: Using Your Divorce As An Opportunity

Thu, 20 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. On this week’s podcast, Lesa reflects on her discussion with mediator and family therapist, Brian Burns. Lesa shares about the importance of accountability and humility during the divorce process. She also shares great tips on how to look at divorce as an opportunity for growth. Lesa also discusses the importance of communicating and showing up from an honest, grounding place of truth. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Podcast: Talking to Your Spouse About Divorce

Podcast: Design Your Divorce

Podcast: How do I Know it is Time to Divorce

Bad Weather Podcast

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

How Do I Know it is Time to Divorce?

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -0400

This week I have my favorite marriage and family therapist, Brian Burns, on the show to discuss how you know when it's time to divorce, how to tell your spouse that you want a divorce, as well as determining what’s next in the divorce process. The episode is packed full of great information for tackling this difficult time in your life, and leaves you feeling a sense of relief by laying out the process to get you through. Tune in today to learn Lesa’s three steps to getting through the divorce process!

In this episode:

[3:48] Brian shares about his new podcast and what it’s about. [6:02] How do you know when it’s time to divorce? [10:18] Are there general guidelines on how to tell your spouse that you want a divorce? [13:42] Lesa shares her three steps of getting ready to go through the divorce process. [17:30] How to decide what you want your divorce process to look like?

Key Takeaways:

When you have a good facilitator/professional who can help you ask questions, communicate, advocate, to work through your divorce when possible. This will save you time and money. You’ll know it is time to ask for a divorce if you have looked in the mirror and gotten clear on what your fault is in the relationship, worked on that issue, and see that there is still no way to come out on the other side. There are exceptions of this such as abusive/toxic relationships. Creating a vision for the way you want your divorce to go and what you want your life to look like on the other side is a great way to set yourself up while going through a difficult time like divorce. Keep your children front and center on the decisions that you make, and use your vision as your north star.

Quotes:

“There's a lot of evidence or research that if you make it past the stressful years of raising young children and managing two jobs and a house, that things get better as long as you kinda don't destroy yourselves in the process.” - Brian Burns

“Divorce is a legal thing because marriage is a contract, a legal contract. But it's much more a relational, emotional, financial family thing. So it makes sense to get as much information as you can about how to navigate it from a relational standpoint, you know, talk to therapists or family experts or financial information from your own budgeting or financial neutrals. And then when it's time, figure out how the law will impact it.” - Brian Burns

Guest Bio:

Resources:

Podcast: Talking to Your Spouse About Divorce

Podcast: Design Your Divorce

Podcast: How do I Know it is Time to Divorce

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Saddle Up Segment: Understanding Why the Breakup is Happening

Thu, 13 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. On this week's episode I had Jackie Pilossoph of Divorced Girl Smiling on the podcast and she walks through how to heal a broken heart. She talks about the importance of understanding why the breakup is happening and taking accountability for the things you can control. She also talks about taking mini steps to be more successful with the things you want to change in your life. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Divorce Girl Smiling

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Heartbroken and Divorced? Let's Start Healing with the Divorced Girl Smiling

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -0400

On today’s episode, I have the joy of speaking with Divorced Girl Smiling, Jackie Pilossoph. Jackie is such a light in this world, and a leader in helping connect those going through a divorce with the best resources out there. We talk about what it feels like to end any type of relationship, whether it be a friendship or a romantic partnership, the pain is similar and can turn your world upside down. Jackie talks about leaning in to your feelings and emotions in order to come out on the other side stronger. Tune in to hear the positivity that Jackie radiates and how to understand why the heartbreak hurts so much in the first place.

In this episode:

[2:10] Jackie shares what led her down the path to be the Divorced Girl Smiling. [5:10] What made Jackie write her article about heartbreak? [6:47] Understanding the why around heartbreak is the first step to working through it. [11:28] When to let go of the hope that things will change. [14:16] What does Jackie mean when she says she is tired of being hurt? [16:35] Breaking up with a friend vs. a lover - they are one in the same. [17:34] Jackie talks about how she was forcing things to be right even though they weren’t right for her. [19:25] What happens when you really love someone, but there is just no way to fix the relationship? [22:25] Understanding anxiety and how to manage it.

Key Takeaways:

The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself. You can only control yourself, you can make all the changes you want in yourself, but you can’t make your spouse change. Acknowledging all of your feelings and emotions are the healthiest way to get through the pain. People who don’t acknowledge all the feelings, they get angry and bitter. If you have the vulnerability and the guts to say what you are actually experiencing then it will help you in healing quicker. If you make little changes, one a week, and focus on that one change for the full week. If you have little changes, you’ll stick to them and then you can build on that new habit.

Quotes:

“Next time you feel that way, you should say to yourself, Don’t I deserve better? Do I really deserve to be treated this way?” - Jackie Pilossoph

“You finally come to this point where you realize that if it's not right it's just never gonna work no matter how hard you try. And the other thing I tell people is that both people have to really want it to work. And if they don't, you don't have any chance. If one wants it to work that's not enough. Commitment is the biggest force in keeping couples together. I believe that love is a choice.” - Jackie Pilossoph

“We fall in love and we ignore the bad behavior and the red flags because we, we don't wanna see that it's too painful. We're not ready to break up. We're still in love with a lot of other aspects of the person, so nobody's all good or all bad. And so we don't wanna see those signs.” - Jackie Pilossoph

Guest Bio:

Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-in-chief of DIVORCED GIRL SMILING, a media company comprised of a website, podcast, mobile app and vetted, trusted professional resources. DGS has a mission to empower, connect and inspire men and women before, during and after divorce. Pilossoph, who holds a Masters degree in Broadcast Journalism, is a former television news reporter and features reporter and writer for the Chicago Tribune. Her syndicated weekly column, LOVE ESSENTIALLY, was published in The Pioneer Press, The Chicago Tribune, and all Tribune Publishing editions for 6 1/2 years. Pilossoph was also a Huffington Post divorce blogger for five years.

Resources:

Divorce Girl Smiling

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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The Divorce Goddess Resources

Saddle Up Segment: Seeing Kindness As A Strength In Divorce

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one key takeaway that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Tosh Brittan joined me this week, and she has so many amazing nuggets that she shared with us on the podcast this week. We talked about her book Kindness for Conflict and how you can do it through a divorce. She talked about the benefits of cold water swimming and the benefits. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Kindness for Conflict by Tosh Brittan

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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The Divorce Goddess Resources

Navigating Divorce with Grace: Unleashing Kindness in Conflict with The Divorce Goddess

Tue, 04 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -0400

On today’s episode of Doing Divorce Different, I have Divorce Goddess, Tosh Brittan joining me. Tosh is such a bright light and I really enjoyed my conversation with her learning about what led her down the path of divorce coaching and her advice on choosing yourself. Tosh discusses how to create a choice of empowerment during divorce by being your own lighthouse. She talks about how cold plunging has helped her build her resilience, and finally what it’s like to be an empty nester. Tosh shares so many amazing nuggets during this episode, so make sure to tune in!

In this episode:

[2:14] What led Tosh down her path of work? [6:10] Did Tosh’s ex spouse want to go through their divorce the same way she did? [8:16] How to create a choice of empowerment in your divorce. [15:16] What about when you are going through divorce with a narcissist or abuser? [18:33] Tosh discusses her cold plunges and how they’ve helped her build resilience. [25:32] How has Tosh dealt with being an empty-nester? [31:48] Why is writing out your feelings so purposeful and why does it work?

Key Takeaways:

You have a choice, you can be in your lighthouse, be in power, do the work on yourself, or you can be a person who gets drawn down and gets lost in the mess and drama. You get to choose where you are coming from regardless of where your ex-spouse is coming from. Kindness is clever because you are taking ownership. Change the mindset from kindness being weak to being something you own. Be a better person. Your actions will speak and you’ll feel better about yourself, rather than stooping to their level of negativity. When becoming an empty-nester, explore who you are, what do you like about yourself? Self care is so important. There are four things that you can do if you are feeling lonely that will make you feel better.

Quotes:

“If you come from an authentic, honest, kind, place with yourself your operating at a really high vibration, authenticity is the highest vibration we can offer and operate from, and what we can do is be there for ourselves. And what I realized is when I didn't look after myself I got myself into a bit of a state.” - Tosh Brittan

Guest Bio:

Tosh Brittan has been a thought changer around divorce since 2014. Believing in a more integrated approach to this difficult, painful, and challenging life event.

As a divorce coach, MBSR mindfulness teacher and Reiki master teacher Tosh’s client work focuses on emotional and mental well-being and she has created her unique divorce coaching brand - Kindness for Conflict®.

Her blog began in 2014 at her kitchen table, to emotionally and mentally support others going through divorce. In 2019 she started the Divorce Goddess podcast (which ranked #41 in the US and #16 UK Relationship charts).

The @divorcegoddess Instagram page is a testament to others seeking a kinder approach to divorce, with many positive, inspiring messages sent from followers worldwide.

Her book Kindness for Conflict is out January 2023 and she co-authored #1 Amazon Best Seller Category Personal Health Mindfulness for Challenging Times with Shamash Alidina and Ceremonies - The Art of Ritual Living with Holistic Fashionista and is a columnist for Expert Magazine.

Tosh loves cold water swimming and often takes a client for their first dip experience! Loves dancing (ex-clubber at heart) and is an empty nester Mum of two young amazing adults. She lives near the South Downs, Hampshire.

Resources:

Kindness for Conflict by Tosh Brittan

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Divorce by Design Website

Saddle Up Segment: Trusting Yourself Through A Divorce

Thu, 29 Jun 2023 07:00:14 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Suzanne’s piece of advice is to take what other people tell you with a grain of salt, especially when it's something so significantly life changing for you. Get quiet and listen to what your voice is telling you. Stick with that, even if others disagree. Create a vision of what you want your divorce to look like and use that as your north star. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Divorce by Design

Suzanne Vickberg’s Instagram

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Divorce by Design Website

Rebuilding Family: How to Maintain Strong Bonds After Divorce

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 07:00:37 -0400

Today's guest, Suzanne Vickberg, has a very unique story when it comes to how her and her ex handled their divorce. It’s been thirteen years of them continuing to live together, as one big family with her, her ex, his new wife, and their children. She talks about the pros and cons of her family living this way, how it has benefited their children, the challenges with dating and what their life looks like now. Suzanne talks about how they created a vision for life after divorce, and the feedback they received from others. Tune in to learn how to do divorce differently.

In this episode:

[2:56] How Suzanne did divorce differently. [5:02] What was Suzanne’s ex’s reaction to the thought of being divorced but still living together? [6:57] Some pros and cons of living together while being divorced. [9:46] Were either Suzanne or her ex children of divorce? [11:38] How did Suzanne and her ex communicate that they were getting divorced and how they would continue to live? [13:20] What will the household look like once both kids go off to college? [14:26] Do Suzanne and her ex still own the house together? [15:57] What was people’s feedback about their living situation?

[16:45] What made Suzanne want to write her books? [20:57] How can listeners think outside the box and look at other options? How can they get their spouse on board?

Key Takeaways:

There aren’t only two options, there are a variety of ways to deal with situations and circumstances. Look at all the options and ideas that you can come up with and decide if that's the best option for your family. Sit down and do a vision of what the best case divorce could look like. Even if it’s not what you wanted, what could the best case scenario look like? Once you're clear about where you’re going, even if you don’t ultimately land there, you can act intentionally and get closer than if you didn’t have a vision. Instead of taking everyone else’s advice or doing what society says is the right way to do it, talk with your ex and decide how you want to do it. It doesn’t have to look like continuing to live together, but it could look like spending the holidays together, or throwing birthday parties together, or keeping both your names on the house even though only one of you lives there. The options are endless so choose what's best for you and your family.

Quotes: “Take what other people tell you with a grain of salt, especially when it's something that is so significantly life-changing for you. Really get quiet and listen to what your voice is telling you and stick with that, even when other people tell you, maybe that's not a great idea. If you trust yourself, then you are more likely to come up with something that is going to be right for your life, as opposed to everybody else's life.” - Suzanne Vickberg

“I don't think I met a single person in the first two years at least, who ever said, hey, you’re really onto something. Everybody said, nope, that's a terrible idea. Whether they were friends, family, strangers, professionals. I just kind of said, well, I think it's a good idea.” - Suzanne Vickberg

Guest Bio:

Dr. Suz is a social-personality psychologist and a leading practitioner of Deloitte’s Business Chemistry, which she uses to guide clients as they explore how their work is shaped by the mix of individuals who make up a team. Along with her Deloitte Greenhouse colleague Kim Christfort, Suzanne co-authored the book Business Chemistry: Practical Magic for Crafting Powerful Work Relationships as well as a Harvard Business Review cover feature on the same topic.

Resources:

Divorce by Design

Suzanne Vickberg’s Instagram

Lesa’s Online Courses To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Lauren Reitsema’s Facebook

Saddle Up Segment: Talking To Your Children About Divorce

Thu, 22 Jun 2023 07:00:03 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Lauren Reitsema shared the importance of communicating with your child(ren) about the divorce by being certain, sharing the timeline and being as specific with details of what the future will look like. Have the conversation in a neutral place, as it's a conversation that they’ll remember forever. Allow your children to feel the pain and their emotions, don’t sugar coat the conversation about how things will be better. She also gives some great tips on dating after divorce. You don’t want to miss it! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Lauren Reitsema’s Instagram

In Their Shoes by Lauren Reitsema

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Lauren Reitsema’s Facebook

Understanding and Connecting with Your Kids During Divorce: Insights from 'In Their Shoes' Author

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 07:00:02 -0400

Today I am honored to have author and communication specialist Lauren Reitsema on the show. Lauren has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to preparing children for divorce and starting a new relationship post divorce. Lauren gives wonderful advice about talking with children and what information to provide them with as you are in the beginning steps of a divorce. She also talks about the importance of taking ownership and understanding what areas you may have to work on after the divorce, even if it’s just 1%. Tune in for tips on how to make a divorce a little bit easier with children.

In this episode:

[2:35] How Lauren came to be a communication expert in this field. [6:07] What was the path that Lauren’s parents went through during their 2 year separation and what brought them to the decision to divorce? [11:26] Lauren shares her advice for parents telling their children that they are getting a divorce. [17:50] How should you make decisions about dating and introducing children to a dating relationship? [24:14] How can we find hope post divorce that our next relationship will be healthy and successful? [27:09] What does it mean to take ownership in the divorce?

Key Takeaways:

The human spirit wants peace, connection, and a world where everyone is truly being kind and loving well, but very few of us are shown resources on how to do this. Kids want to know, they want to understand what is happening, so be clear to them, give them dates and other concrete information that they can know and be aware of. Hiding it and just continuing on with life without having a conversation on the why leaves the children feeling lost and confused. In order to move forward with life post divorce and even into new relationships, take the time to find ownership in your part of the divorce, and reflect on what you can work on/improve so you are equipped to move on and have a different relationship in the future.

Quotes:

“If you can see those two relationships totally independently, I think you'll have more success. Nurture the romantic context, the romantic adult boundaries as you would, and allow the children to kind of date you as well in their own time, at their own pace, with their own language and core. Because if you immediately project that you care about them like you do for their parent, it's seen in most cases as very dishonest and a little bit presumptuous.” - Lauren Reitsema

“Look at yourself with a very objective lens. Find some people who you can hear hard things from and say, ‘what did I do that contributed to this in a way that I know I need to change before another person enters in’ because the other person that you find is not gonna be the magic pill that makes your life harmonious.” - Lauren Reitsema

Guest Bio:

Lauren’s interest in relationship skills began when her parents divorced after almost 20 years of marriage. Seeking to understand better patterns for her own future legacy, she earned a Bachelor’s degree in Communication Studies from TCU. Lauren is the author of In Their Shoes, a book dedicated to helping parents better understand and connect with children of divorce. Her newest book, Relationship Essentials, released November 16th, 2021 and features skills to help people feel heard, fight fair, and set boundaries in all areas of life. Lauren is the Interim President of The Center for Relationship Education, headquartered in Denver, CO, and her vocational speaking experience spans over 20 years. She teaches a variety of relationship skills to teens, adults and corporate teams.

Resources:

Lauren Reitsema’s Instagram

In Their Shoes by Lauren Reitsema

Lesa Koski Website Lesa’s Online Courses To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: Ending Toxic Cycles

Thu, 15 Jun 2023 07:00:25 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one key takeaway that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Mikki Gardner shares how to build the muscle of pausing and giving yourself the space to figure out what is the next most loving decision. Learning how to pause, and step back, and give yourself the space will help you calm down. When you are in a calm state you can make different decisions rather than react to situations. This teaches you to be conscious and awake in the decisions and actions that you are doing. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Mikki Gardner

Mikki Gardner Instagram

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Breaking the Cycle: Navigating Toxic Communication in Co-Parenting After Divorce

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 07:00:13 -0400

On this week's episode of Doing Divorce Different, Mikki Gardner joins the podcast to talk about breaking the cycle and navigating toxic communication in co-parenting relationships. Mikki provides some insightful tips around working through toxic co-parenting, how to stay in control of your own emotions, and reduce the triggers that may be experienced from an ex spouse. She talks about how to navigate different parenting styles and how to stay true to your values and vision of parenting. Tune in today for this incredible episode packed full of useful nuggets.

In this episode:

[02:00] Mikki shares her story of how she got into the work she is doing. [08:08] What does Mikki's family structure look like now? [09:48] How does Mikki recommend people work through toxic co-parenting? [13:48] What does Mikki do with conscious co-parenting? [16:25] How can people respond rather than react? [22:20] How can you navigate different parenting styles?

Key Takeaways:

Parenting is not about the child. Parenting is about the parent, co-parenting is no different. Don’t lose sight of what's important, which is the child. Keep your kid centered, don’t pull them back and forth between the parents. When you are feeling reactive or triggered, pause and step back and realize that you do not have to respond right away. Determine what it is you are seeking and what you want to do before you respond. You get to be in charge of your home, what you believe, and how you parent, but you also have to allow the other co-parent to do the same in their household.

Quotes:

“And after a lot of trying and a lot of things, I came to the realization that I was the example to my son of what it looked like to be a woman, to be a wife, to be a mom, to be a sister, all the things. But, was I being an example of a woman and a wife and a mom that I would want him to use as his standard? And the answer overwhelmingly was no. And so in that moment I understood that I had to go a different direction, and I had no idea what that looked like.” - Mikki Gardner

“You always have a choice, but as long as you are reacting to your triggers, you are in a state of survival. You're not in a state of making calm, rational decisions. So first and foremost, we have to learn when we're triggered, how to calm ourselves down so that we can make good choices.” - Mikki Gardner

“The first thing I do with each of my clients is create a vision for their life. This is so important because we can't continue to live in a reactionary state just doing what we don't want. We have to create a destination, a lighthouse of sorts that tells us where we want to go because the storm is gonna come. The night is gonna be dark. We're not gonna be able to see our way, so we need to have that sort of lighthouse vision of where we're going.” Mikki Gardner

Guest Bio:

Mikki Gardner is a certified life coach through the Life Coach School and trained to help women sort out the overwhelm, confusion, fear, and self-doubt they feel after divorce.

She is certified in the Conscious Parenting Method as well as Applied Positive Psychology where she is trained to help moms move past their limiting beliefs, unravel the patterns of their past and become strong, effective, loving parents.

Resources:

Mikki Gardner

Mikki Gardner Instagram

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Bridge Your Divorce Website

Saddle Up Segment: Talking to Your Spouse About Divorce

Thu, 08 Jun 2023 07:00:15 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Bridget’s first piece of advice was when talking to your spouse about divorce, don’t look backwards. Give them the information in a business-like way if you can, and then allow them the time to examine their feelings. Also, focus on practicing gratitude. Find one small thing each day to be grateful for. This can help turn your mindset around. You can write your gratitude in your journal, go outside, be in nature, go for a walk, get some exercise, whatever helps your mindset the most. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Bridge Your Divorce Website

Emotional Navigation: How a Divorce Coach Can Guide You Through the Business of Divorce

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 07:00:42 -0400

Today we are joined by divorce coach, Bridget Leschinsky. Bridget shares what a divorce coach is and how people can save money by utilizing one. Having gone through a divorce herself, she is experienced in what the process looks like, and the gaps that people run into while going through divorce. She gives advice on telling your spouse that you want a divorce, to working together on a co-parenting relationship, and how to tell your children. Bridget also gives mindset tips on dealing with triggering situations. Tune in for some insight and tips from an experienced divorce coach!

In this episode:

[1:03] Bridget’s authentic story. [4:02] What is a divorce coach? [6:46] What does the first call with a divorce coach look like? [8:35] How does Bridget recommend a spouse to talk about their feelings and decision to move forward with divorce. [10:02] How does she advise telling your kids about the decision to go through divorce? [12:26] How can spouses prepare to work with a divorce coach? [14:35] How does Bridget work with clients on the emotional aspects of divorce? [16:12] How does someone find their best self and their values? [17:17] What can people do when they are triggered during the divorce process? [19:05] How does Bridget help people with their co-parenting communication?

Key Takeaways:

The average divorce is probably $20-$30k. Look at your options, if you can be at least somewhat collaborative, look into a divorce coach and a mediator to reduce costs. Understanding triggers before you go into the conversation, seeing the warnings and then catching yourself and not falling into the trap can really help in their marriage, going through a divorce, and in future relationships. Taking care of yourself and operating from the high road, and a place of positivity oftentimes will push the other person to move to the high road. It’s contagious to be around someone who is being positive.

Quotes:

“That to me is someone you can call on, and they can give your referrals to other professionals that they need, they can open up ideas, concerns. They can help you focus forward on what you want at the end of the divorce. They can help you think of a divorce budget, a lot of people don't think when they go into a divorce what do I want to budget for the divorce. We budget for school, retirement, a new home, but we don’t budget with our divorce, we just go in blindly.” - Bridget Leschinsky

Guest Bio:

Going through a divorce can be one of the most traumatic and costly experiences. As someone who went through divorce, with two small children, I know divorce is an overwhelming process and hard on the whole family. Even if you initiate the paperwork, you can feel like a failure.

As a CDC Certified Divorce Coach®, CDC Certified Transition and Recovery Coach® and Family Mediator, I do not advocate for divorce, but the reality of divorce happens. I decided to utilize my lifelong passion for helping others along with my professional training to guide people through the chaos of divorce. My main goal is to encourage families to be their best selves throughout the divorce process in order to minimize the negative effects on the children and be able to co-parent successfully after the divorce. I work with individuals who are thinking about divorce, going through a divorce, or transition and healing after a divorce.

CDC Certified Divorce Coach®

Certified Transition and Recovery Coach®

Qualified neutral under Rule 114 of the Minnesota General Rules of Practice

Proud Member of:

Collaborate Law Institute of Minnesota

International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

American Bar Association

Resources:

Lesa Koski Website To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Dr. Lena Robertson’s Website

Saddle Up Segment: Managing Your Health and Stress Through a Divorce

Thu, 01 Jun 2023 07:00:36 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Dr. Lena Robertson’s advice for better aging was to focus on more sleep and less stress. Stress and trauma can be reduced through breathwork. Take the time to breathe in for five seconds and out for 6 seconds to get yourself into a rest and digest state. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Dr. Lena Robertson Instagram

Free Guide: Functional Labs For Acing Aging: What You Should Test & Why!

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Dr. Lena Robertson Instagram

Thriving Through Menopause and Divorce: Expert Advice from Dr. Lena Robertson ND

Tue, 30 May 2023 07:00:36 -0400

Today we are joined by Dr. Lena Robertson, a Naturopathic Doctor. Dr. Robertson specializes in helping women age well, balancing hormones, and thriving through menopause. She talks about her experience as a child of divorce and then going through a divorce herself. Dr. Robertson gives some great tips on managing metabolism and hormones as you age. She also discusses the effects of stress on the body, which we know can be a big one during divorce, and some tips on managing stress. Tune in today to learn more about aging well!

In this episode:

[2:10] Dr. Lena Robertson provides her experience as a child of divorce. [5:48] What was Dr. Robertson’s experience going through a divorce herself?

[6:42] When did Dr. Robertson go to medical school and why did she make that career choice? [11:00] What is Dr. Robertson’s current business? [15:47] How to manage metabolism and hormones as you age. [20:13] What can you do to help your hormones stay more balanced? [23:12] Tips on how to get more sleep/what affects your sleep.

Key Takeaways:

Sleep and stress are the foundations of health. These two areas will impact your life and guide you to better health. There is no one size fits all diet or exercise routine. To determine the best diet for you, there are some great labs available. Check out Dr. Robertson’s free guide to learn more. Maintaining a calm co-parenting relationship is key for children to grow up feeling confident and resilient. The better you work together as a team, the better it will be for your children in their adult years.

Quotes:

“Sleep and stress, those are the foundations of health. If you're not getting proper sleep, if you're super stressed out it's going to put everything out of whack.” - Dr. Lena Robertson

“How you set yourself up for the day also has a big impact. So getting the natural light in your eyes first thing in the morning. First thing in the morning go outside, doesn’t have to be long, get the light in your eyes. If you live in a place like me (Bellingham, Washington) get one of those lights, sun lamps.” - Dr. Lena Robertson

Guest Bio:

Lena Robertson is a health consultant and creator of The Acing Aging Method. She helps ambitious Gen Xers and Baby Boomers reclaim their metabolism, hormones, mind + energy so they can continue sharing their gifts, expand their reach, better serve their clients and show up even more for the people they love. Her approach to healthy aging and the support she provides is unlike anything you will find in the online space for anti-aging. Lena pulls from her experience as a naturopathic doctor, her own signature functional lab analysis methodology, and extensive study on aging in order to guide her clients to better client results and long-term health and wellness success.

Resources: Dr. Lena Robertson’s Website

Free Guide: Functional Labs For Acing Aging: What You Should Test & Why!

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Saddle Up Segment: Getting Started with the Onward App

Thu, 25 May 2023 07:00:49 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During this week's episode, Jacklyn Rome, the CEO and creator of the Onward App shares the benefits of her incredible app. Onward allows co-parents to track finances and split the expenses as they see fit. Finances are often a sticky subject causing conflict to many co-parents, so download the app today and get 3 months free to see how it can help you. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Onward App Website

Onward App Instagram

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Managing Your Children's Expenses After Divorce: An In-Depth Look at Onward App's Features and Benefits

Tue, 23 May 2023 07:00:13 -0400

Today we are joined by CEO and Founder of the Onward App, Jacklyn Rome. Jacklyn talks with us about the fantastic app that she has created and her vision behind it. She dives into the details that the app provides and how co-parents can use it to keep the financial stress away. With money and expenses being one of the biggest causes of disagreements in co-parenting situations her app can be a life saver when it comes to keeping the peace. Tune in today to learn more about Onward and the benefits for your co-parenting relationship.

In this episode:

[1:35] What made Jacklyn want to start the Onward App? [3:18] How does Onward work? [5:43] What made Jacklyn stick with just the finances on the Onward App? [9:03] How would a shared debit card work as a future Onward App option? [11:55] What else is unique about Onward? [16:09] A piece of advice for co-parents.

Key Takeaways:

Money and expenses are often a cause of stressful conversations. Onward eliminates the stress by allowing both parents to see what money is being spent, how it is spent, and even to put some limits around spending. There are a lot of apps available for calendaring and agreements, but finances seem to be lacking on those apps. Onward specializes on their focus of expenses and transparency.

Quotes:

If divorced parents can get along, it just does amazing things for their children. So I support anything thats going to help ease that and any little tips.” - Lesa Koski

Today most child support payments only cover 3 categories of food, shelter and clothing. And per the USDA thats 53% of the cost of raising a child. So everything else, the medical bills, extra curricular activities, math tutoring, summer cap etc. usually fall outside of that and people will agree on a child support payment while in the divorce process but then one they get divorced theres all these expenses that continue to pile up, very often the person whos the provider of funds doesnt understand why their being charged additional money for their kids.” - Jacklyn Rome

A lot of the companies I've seen out there in the divorce space create content that's very negative. And backwards looking like mostly focused around villainizing an ex or kind of bringing you back into the past. And the reason actually we're called Onward is really around bringing people into the future and getting them excited about that next stage of life as a co-parent. So we, you'll see a lot of content even integrated into our app around having the most effective co-parenting relationship and how to move on with your life.” - Jacklyn Rome

Guest Bio:

Jacklyn is the CEO and Founder of Onward, an app that helps divorced and separated parents to track and manage shared expenses for their children more easily. Prior to starting Onward, Jacklyn worked on new product launches at Uber and Blue Apron and spent time in venture capital and entrepreneurial consulting. She's passionate about making a difference in people's lives and building new and innovative products.

Resources:

Onward App Website

Onward App Instagram

Lesa’s Online Courses
To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Split Film Outreach Project

Saddle Up Segment: Preparing Your Children For Divorce

Thu, 18 May 2023 07:00:15 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Ellen Bruno wanted our listeners to remember to choose joy and love regardless of their situation. Don't choose anger or resentment. Allow your kids to witness the loving history that once existed. Allow there to be love, which is deeply nourishing for your children to know they came from love. Also, it’s never too late to start showing your kids what a loving relationship looks like. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Bruno Films

The Split Film Guide

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Split Film Outreach Project

Exploring the Complexities of Divorce Through a Child's Eyes: Insights from the Documentary Split and Split Up

Tue, 16 May 2023 07:00:49 -0400

Documentary filmmaker, Ellen Bruno, joins us for today’s episode. Ellen focuses on ways that divorce impacts children and has produced two films, Split and SplitUp. Both films follow 12 children who were raised through a divorce and what the long-term effects were on their lives. She talks with us about what she wishes parents knew and how best to support children through difficult times. Ellen touches on the impacts of generational divorce as well. Tune in today to learn how to change the story so that your kids can have loving, healthy relationships in the future.

In this episode:

[02:29] What drove Ellen to create Split? [05:52] Ellen shares the key things she learned while filming Split. [11:17] What Ellen believes kids want to hear differently through their divorce/growing up after divorce. [13:40] What happens to children in the long term when there are continuous conflicts between parents? [19:51] How does being a child of divorce affect children’s outlook on love for themselves? [21:05] What information did Ellen find about generational divorce?

Key Takeaways:

Families with parents who were more cooperative and had less conflict, fared better long-term. Families with more conflict post-divorce, those children are still struggling long-term. Have the courage to listen to your children's concerns, hear their questions, and answer appropriately for their age with the needed information. Help them make sense of the situation. Confirm to them that the decision isn’t because of them. Disengage from the toxic environment for both the parents and children. Put the anger and resentment aside and show up for the kids as much as possible. Choose joy and choose love as often as possible.

Quotes:

“Sometimes we think, oh divorce is something that happens within a discrete period of time, and then everyone moves on. Well actually, as we all know, divorce becomes part of the DNA of our family structure, part of the experience of our children, and that will be true when they are 40 as it is when they are 4.” - Ellen Bruno

“I just want parents to have the courage and understand that opening up these conversations and allowing your children to ask questions is going to be one of the best things you can do for your kids. And it doesn't mean you have to answer every question, but everybody that goes through a difficult situation, whether its political refugees, prisoners, young sex workers, or kids from divorce, everybody needs to make sense of their experience in order to move forward. They need to make sense of their experience in order to move forward.” - Ellen Bruno

Guest Bio:

Ellen Bruno is an award-winning documentary filmmaker based in San Francisco. With a background in international relief work, Ellen’s films have focused on issues at the forefront of human rights. She began her relief efforts in remote Mayan villages in Tabasco, Mexico. She has worked in refugee camps on the Thai-Cambodian border with the International Rescue Committee, in Vietnamese boat camps with The Refugee Section of the American Embassy in Thailand, and as director of the Cambodian Women's Project for the American Friends Service Committee.

Ellen completed a master's degree in documentary film at Stanford University. She is a recipient of Guggenheim and Rockefeller Fellowships, a Goldie Award for Outstanding Artist, an Alpert Award for the Arts, an Anonymous Was A Woman Award for the Arts, a Shenkin Fellowship from Yale University School of Art, and was an Artist-in-Residence at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts.

Resources:

Bruno Films

The Split Film Guide

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Brett Leschinsky CrossCountryMortgage

Saddle Up Segment: How A Mortgage Specialist Can Help You During A Divorce

Thu, 11 May 2023 07:00:14 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. The best thing you can do when determining your housing situation during divorce is to turn to a mortgage loan officer specializing in divorce. Don’t worry about all the details; take the pressure off of you and get clarity from a reputable source! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Brett Leschinsky Facebook

Brett Leschinsky LinkedIn

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Brett Leschinsky CrossCountryMortgage

Splitting the House: Navigating the Complexities of Divorce and Real Estate

Tue, 09 May 2023 07:00:53 -0400

Today we are joined by Brett Leschinsky, a loan officer specializing in divorce. Brett shared some incredible information about navigating the complexities of divorce and real estate. He walks through what information mortgage professionals need in the divorce decree, how to qualify for a new home loan or refinance using child support and spousal support, and how to keep your current interest rate when taking over the mortgage. Tune in for the creative tips he has to make home buying or refinancing simple post-divorce.

In this episode:

[2:08] What led Brett to go into his field of work helping divorced people? [7:03] What do mortgage professionals need to see in the divorce decree? [11:25] How can child support or maintenance be used to qualify for a mortgage/refinance? [17:16] What’s the difference between the title and the mortgage? [20:00] Why would you leave both names on the title? [21:47] When can you purchase a new home post-divorce? [24:44] Can you get a co-signer to qualify for a new mortgage post-divorce? [25:57] Can you keep your interest rate when refinancing?

Key Takeaways:

The divorce decree trumps the credit report that shows you still owe house debt. Ensure the divorce decree states that the spouse is indemnified and held harmless, so when they purchase a new home, they can show the credit report is no longer valid. The payments must come in for at least six months to use child support or spousal maintenance to qualify for a home. There are specific ways to set up accounts for using this income at the time of the finalized divorce. There are many ways to get creative to qualify to buy a new home and do so before six months to a year. Working with a mortgage professional specializing in this space will be able to look at creative solutions such as child support, spousal support, how accounts are set up, etc.

Quotes:

“So I'll get an attorney that'll call me that'll say, Hey Brett, I thought you said, you know that if this indemnification wording is in there, they can go buy a house. And I'll say, yeah. And they say, well, their loan officer is telling them that they have to use that debt against them. And that's just one of those scenarios where the mortgage loan officers who aren't specializing in this.” - Brett Leschinsky

“So take the stay-at-home parent or the parent who has a part-time job, but they're looking for full-time work, but they don't wanna wait to purchase a house. They don't want to move twice. This house that came up is perfect. A co-signer can help bridge that gap and often does help bridge that gap. We do a lot of co-signers, so it's just something that people don't think of too much. If they think, well, I don't have the income to qualify, so I'm just gonna have to rent, but thinking about the co-signer helps a lot.” - Brett Leschinsky

Guest Bio:

Brett Leschinsky (pronounced Luh-shin-ski) hd guest on WCCO’s Real Estate Radio Hour to discuss common mistakes divorcing has been a respected mortgage professional for over 20 years, and he specializes in home mortgage transactions surrounding divorce. Brett has been a featureouples make with their home mortgage, and he regularly speaks to Family Law groups and firms to provide continuing education credits for divorce attorneys.

Resources:

Brett Leschinsky Facebook

Brett Leschinsky LinkedIn

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Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast

Saddle Up Segment: Understanding Your Budget Through Divorce and Beyond

Thu, 04 May 2023 07:00:03 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Rhonda’s piece of advice for our lisenters to gain financial security is to get a good handle on expenses and dial that in. Become aware and get curious about what’s going on in your house hold by monitoring mail, email, income, bank statements and receipts, etc. This will set you up for the beginning of understanding your finances and negotiation power. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Women's Financial Wellness Center Website

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses.Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast

Untying the Knot: Mastering Your Finances Through Divorce

Tue, 02 May 2023 07:00:52 -0400

Today we are joined by Rhonda Noordyk who is a financial strategist for women going through a divorce. Rhonda is an incredible resource for women who are thinking about moving forward with divorce or who are in the trenches of their divorce journey. During the episode we discuss the biggest challenge for women who are going through the separation process, how women can become more confident, and then Rhonda summarizes her signature program. Tune in today as there is so many incredible nuggets Rhonda shares with us!

In this episode:

[3:02] Why Rhonda became a financial strategist for divorce. [5:52] What does Rhonda see as the biggest challenge for women facing divorce? [7:00] How does Rhonda help people decide whether it's time to stay or go? [10:59] How can women become more confident through the divorce process? [13:30] Rhonda gives us an example of how she gained experience in an unknown area. [18:32] What is Rhonda’s signature process for helping women financially through a divorce?

Key Takeaways:

The first step before even looking at the budget is working through the fear and the things holding you back. With the right team in place, the finances can be manageable, but believing in yourself and finding your courage are the first steps to making the divorce experience smoother. The budget previews the current and future but also helps with negotiations. Pretty much any question that is asked pretty much goes back to the budget. Knowledge + Experience = Confidence. If we know without experience, it's just theory. If we have just experience but not knowledge, it's just trial and error, but those two things working together are really powerful.

Quote: “Look at all the things you’ve done to get to this point. You are capable; you’re smart; you're able to make big, great decisions. Not saying we don't need input, but we have to limit the amount of noise that we have in our mind and start reacquainting ourselves with our own brilliance and ability to make decisions” - Rhonda Noordyk

Guest Bio:

Rhonda Noordyk, CDFA® | CDS 5

Unspoken Truths about Money & Divorce7 Secrets to Winning Divorce Negotiations3 Key Chess Strategies that Apply to Divorce What is THE question you often get? What are the top three financial challenges for women going through a divorce? How do you help women who are going through a divorce? What would you say if you could share one thing with women contemplating or going through a divorce? What can women do to determine their next best move? Rhonda Noordyk, CDFA®, is a well-respected divorce financial strategist. She is known internationally for her work in pioneering a path for women to navigate through the financial aspects of the divorce process. As a strategist, Rhonda helps her clients determine their next best financial move. Rhonda is the host of the Divorce Conversations for Women podcast. She brings a unique blend of casual conversation, strategic insight, and positive energy to her show. She uses her interview experience to help women ask the right questions so they get the right answers. Rhonda is a trained Financial Coach, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Certified Divorce Specialist® and Founder/CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She has been featured in several online publications: SD Voyager, Better After 50, Thrive Global, and Medium. She has also been a featured expert on several divorce podcasts: Should I Stay or Should I Go, How to Split a Toaster, The Divorce Hour, Divorce Stories, and The Divorce Rehab.

Resources:

Women's Financial Wellness Center Website

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠ The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Saddle Up Segment: Assembling Your Team

Thu, 27 Apr 2023 07:00:17 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Our guest Linda Lingo wanted listeners to remember to assemble a fantastic support team behind them while going through a divorce. This can include a therapist, financial coach, and trusted mediator so you don’t feel like you are navigating the divorce on your own. When you have people behind you who are experts in their field, you’ll feel supported to make the right decisions. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Your Gray Divorce, 6 Critical Financial Steps to Go from Surviving Your Divorce to Thriving in Your New Life.

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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What is a Grey Divorce?

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 07:00:22 -0400

Today we are joined for a second time by financial coach and CPA Linda Lingo. Linda is here to talk about grey divorce. She provides some wonderful tips about navigating grey divorce, things to consider with retirement, pension, and spousal maintenance, as well as the importance of having a solid team behind you. We also touch on the increase in the grey divorce age range and why that may be. Tune in today to gather some great insight about managing a grey divorce.

In this episode:

[00:50] Linda provides an overview of her background. [6:13] What is a grey divorce? [7:57] What is causing a higher divorce rate with 65+? [9:01] Why are women 2x more likely to file for divorce than men? [12:07] Linda gives advice about going through a grey divorce from her personal experience as well as working with clients. [13:50] How does spousal maintenance work post-retirement? [20:36] How does someone approach pension in divorce? [22:13] If there is alimony or spousal support for a set number of years, why should you get a life insurance policy?

Key Takeaways:

1 in 10 people getting divorced now are 65 and over. When dividing the assets up, it’s important to remember that retirement/401K are pre-tax; if you are balancing it with something that is post-tax, they are not equal. If you are getting spousal support or alimony, the person paying the support should get a life insurance policy for that set amount of time so that should anything happen, they still get their money. The person who receives the support needs to be listed as the beneficiary/owner of the policy.

Quotes:

“It's a term that refers to adults 50 and older going through a divorce. Typically it's a longer-lasting marriage that they are now getting divorced.” - Linda Lingo

“I think women are now realizing that there is life after marriage.” - Linda Lingo

“The number one mistake I see women making is wanting to keep the family home, and it's usually for sentimental reasons. You have to take out a pretty large home equity line of credit or loan against the property in order to pay him for his half of the house, and then all the sudden you have a mortgage. And then the question is, do you need this big house? I mean, who needs a four-bedroom house if it's just you?” - Linda Lingo

Guest Bio:

I started this business to provide tools and resources that help women gain clarity and confidence in their finances so they can move forward with their lives.

I want to empower women with smart money strategies so they can create a stress-free approach to money.

With over 30 years of experience in the financial industry, I have accumulated the knowledge and skill to understand your financial needs. More importantly, I have experienced most of these life events, thus giving me a first-hand understanding of what you are going through.

With my compassion and guidance, I will provide the right tools needed to make wealth a part of your everyday vocabulary.

Resources:

Your Gray Divorce, 6 Critical Financial Steps to Go from Surviving Your Divorce to Thriving in Your New Life.

Lesa’s Online Courses
To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠ The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Saddle Up Segment: Assessing The Reality of Your Goals

Thu, 20 Apr 2023 07:00:21 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Meghan shares how vital it is to have an accurate assessment of the reality of your goals. Knowing the truth of your reality also gives you a way to move closer to your vision even though you can’t have the full expression of it. Talk about your realistic goals in a way that isn't depriving you of your vision. Also, ensure that you are working with someone who can share legal information about what is possible. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Freed Marcroft Website

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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The Mediation Advantage When you Decide to Divorce

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 07:00:13 -0400

I am joined by Meghan Freed, Managing Co-Partner of Freed Marcroft, a law firm in CT. Meghan shares her experience with the different types of legal support available to couples seeking divorce. She discusses the many benefits of mediation and the opportunities that come along with pursuing a partnership through a divorce. Meghan gives some wonderful mindset shifts during this episode, so tune in or share the episode with someone who could benefit from viewing divorce in a more empowering way.

In this episode:

[1:50] What brought Meghan to family law? [7:05] Meghan describes her law firm and the services she provides in CT? [10:57] What are the benefits of mediation? [14:04] Different definitions of divorce - it’s not always bad. [19:45] What is it like to be in divorce practice with her spouse?

Key Takeaways:

Benefits of mediation: privacy, flexibility around unpredictable schedules, beneficial for children if both parents can agree, powerful to look back on the divorce in the future and see positives, can be cost-effective, you can be creative in designing things how you want them. Mediation is about acknowledging the situation around us. We control how we handle the circumstance, which is where you take back the power of the situation. Focus on how you can respond but not react to circumstances.

Quotes:

“A mediation takes both people agreeing to opt into it. Even though we often have clients who are interested in it themselves, if their spouse doesn't come around to it, we just give them the best litigative support we can.” - Meghan Freed

“The life change can be incredibly transformative. It is an opportunity for both the leaning-in spouse, the person who wants to stay in the relationship, and the leaning-out space. It's not just transformative for the person who wants to leave the marriage; it can be really transformative for the person who doesn’t want it.” - Meghan Freed

Bio:

Meghan is Managing Co-Partner of Freed Marcroft, a Connecticut law firm that devotes its practice exclusively to divorce and family law.

Meghan is experienced with alternative dispute resolution, including arbitration and mediation; she is a graduate of Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation and has supplemented her formal legal education with advanced training in mediation. She is a member of the Connecticut Council for Non-Adversarial Divorce.

Meghan is particularly proud of her practice within the LGBT community. Her name appears in the Connecticut Supreme Court’s groundbreaking decision on marriage equality, Kerrigan v. Commissioner of Public Health, for which she co-authored an amicus curiae brief on behalf of the Human Rights Campaign. She has appeared on WNPR’s Colin McEnroe Show speaking about the state of divorce – same sex or otherwise, WNPR’s Where We Live, discussing the impact of the United States Supreme Court’s decisions in the same sex marriage cases, United States v. Windsor and Hollingsworth v. Perry, and on Lite 100.5 FM WRCH discussing the impact of divorce on clients’ emotional health. She is a founding executive board member of the Connecticut Bar Association’s LGBT Section and previously served as its Chair. In 2015 she was named one of the National LGBT Bar Association‘s Best LGBT Lawyers Under 40.

Resources:

Freed Marcroft Website

Lesa’s Online Courses To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit ⁠https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different⁠ The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Take or Leave The House Website

Saddle Up Segment: Slow Down and Look At The Big Picture

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 07:00:49 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During this week's episode, Tami reminded those going through a divorce to stop and breathe, gather the information, and not rush to get to the settlement. This is the rest of your life that we’re talking about, your next chapter. Surround yourself with professionals, and that’ll help you get through it. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Book a Meeting with Tami

Tami Wollensak Facebook

Tami Wollensak LinkedIn

Tami Wollensak Instagram

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses.Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Take or Leave The House Website

Should I Keep the Family Home When I Divorce?

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 07:00:49 -0400

In today’s episode, Certified Divorce Lending Professional Tami Wollensak joins us to discuss how to handle the family home during a divorce. Tami talks about the difference between a certified divorce lending professional and a typical mortgage lender. She gives some excellent tips about budgeting and details to look at if you want to keep the family home after a divorce. There are several things that we don’t think of when looking at affordability, which she ran into during her divorce. Tune in today to gather information to help the mortgage division go smoother during your divorce.

In this episode:

[1:10] Tami's story. [3:50] Would Tami have done anything different with her home when she got divorced? [5:15] What planning tips does Tami have for people going through a divorce regarding their home and budgeting? [8:47] Can a stay-at-home parent still qualify to keep their family home? [9:30] What is the 6-36 Rule? [12:28] Should someone reach out to a mortgage lender like Tami at the start of a divorce? [14:15] What loan options do people have when buying out an ex-spouse? [17:55] How is a certified divorce lending professional different from a typical mortgage lender?

Key Takeaways:

If you are happy, your kids will be happy too. If you are less stressed, it’ll reflect on your parenting and the energy in the household. Get honest with yourself about what budgeting will look like post-divorce. Not just if the mortgage will be affordable, but think about your lifestyle, what you are willing to adjust for yourself and your children, and plan using a realistic budget. You’ll likely have to take a higher interest rate when taking over the mortgage, but remember that you will not be stuck with that mortgage forever. If rates drop in the future, you can refinance.

Quotes:

“So many of my clients and listeners want to keep the house because they think it's so important for their kids. It's so important for my kids that they stay in their home. Yes, it's nice, but if it's something you aren't going to be able to afford and you want to keep them doing the things they love to do, it's something to consider.” - Lesa Koski

“Take into consideration all the things, not just the month-to-month bills, but all the other things that are going to come into play with your lifestyle.” - Tami Wollensak

Guest Bio:

Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 25+ year veteran of the industry; she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions while going through the most challenging time of their life. Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). This specialization provides the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client’s attorney, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple’s real estate. As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami’s goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. (NMLS #1963450)

Resources:

Tami Wollensak, CDLP®

Sr. Mortgage Loan Originator

Certified Divorce Lending Professional

NMLS #1963450

Oak Leaf Community Mortgage is a division of Mutual Federal Bank, Equal Housing Lender, and FDIC insured.

Book a Meeting with Tami

Tami Wollensak Facebook

Tami Wollensak LinkedIn

Tami Wollensak Instagram

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses.Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Saddle Up Segment: Using Hard Feelings to Change Your Mindset

Thu, 06 Apr 2023 07:00:23 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. If you expect that you’re never going to feel bad and that life will be amazing once you change your mindset, you will be disappointed. These feelings are opportunities; they teach us what we like and don’t like. Learn to use your feelings to change your mindset, and keep practicing! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Self-Made Mind Over Matter (self-madeu.com) - Coupon Code for 50% off - LESA

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Do You Blame Yourself for the Divorce? Learn How to Suffer Less Through It

Tue, 04 Apr 2023 07:00:39 -0400

Today is our monthly episode with Tracy Pleschourt, founder of Self-Made U. This week; we discuss feelings of shame, blame, guilt, and any other negative feelings we may experience through divorce. Tracy talks with us about the fact that there is no right amount of time to sit with those feelings, but there will come a point when you are ready to move on. She gives a great reminder that we must sit with uncomfortable feelings so then we know what it’s like to feel joy. Tune in today for some great strategies for facing your difficult emotions.

In this episode:

[5:00] How can we work through difficult feelings like blame, shame, and guilt? [10:25] Can you make the feeling of suffering go away permanently?

[12:27] What is Tracy’s Mind Over Matter course (coupon code below)? [14:26] How long should you sit with your feelings?

Key Takeaways:

Without feeling icky, you’ll never know what joy feels like. Let yourself feel those unwanted feelings so that you can prove to yourself that you have the capacity to sit in the negative emotions until you are ready not to anymore. Feelings of suffering will never 100% be eliminated from your life; however, as you learn to work through suffering and the tools to teach you how to look for the opportunities in suffering, you won’t stay in the suffering as long.

Quotes:

“I want you to recognize that anything you are feeling is coming from a thought. If you are in pain, the reason why you’re in pain is because you are thinking about something; therefore, the solution lies within you. If what is the matter is a feeling, and your feelings are caused by what it is you are thinking, the solution lies within you.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“Sometimes you do just need to sit in the feeling.” - Lesa Koski

Guest Bio:

Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U, helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, overdrinking, time management, and career & relationship changes.

Resources:

Mind Over Matter - 50% OFF Coupon Code: LESA

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Healing Circle Facebook Group

Saddle Up Segment: Becoming Present And Aware To End Your Suffering

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 07:00:19 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During this week’s episode, Laurel shared the reminder to breathe through the moment and remember that this is just a point in time. She also wanted listeners to acknowledge that they are in a grief process when going through a divorce. Grief is not linear; we don’t check off each stage and move on to the next. This is a grieving process (even if you wanted out). Have the sensitivity that it is a grieving process; there's nothing wrong with that. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Laurel Sole’s Website

Laurel Sole’s Instagram

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Healing Circle Facebook Group

Can You Have a Trauma-Free Divorce?

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 07:00:53 -0400

Today I am joined by Clinical Psychotherapist, Laurel Sole. After going through her own traumatic divorce, Laurel decided to help provide others with the tools and support needed to work through and heal from the trauma. Laurel talks about her divorce and the trauma she experienced before getting married. It is possible to heal and to move forward with your life. Tune in today to hear great tips on working through trauma in the moment.

In this episode:

[3:19] Laurel shares her experience with divorce trauma. [4:50] Laurel talks about her divorce and what led her to Clinical Psychotherapy. [8:40] We hear about Laurel's life trauma. [10:30] How is Laurel’s therapy practice different from traditional therapy? [13:48] How do people work with Laurel? [16:17] Laurel provides tips on working through trauma at the moment.

Key Takeaways:

Remember in the difficult moment that this is just a point in time, and it will pass. You don’t know what will come after this point in time, but it is temporary. Look for the gift or opportunity in the situation. Grief through a divorce is OK; whether you want the divorce or not, you will experience grief. It wasn't just the marriage but the idea in your mind, the items being divided up, and even the co-parenting relationship that your mind has to cope with. If you are going to therapy and it isn’t working for you, or you aren’t getting your needs met, find a different therapist. Laurel highlights working with her clients when they are in a difficult moment or facing trauma, which allows people to learn the tools to get through whatever circumstance they are facing at that time.

Quotes:

“There’s so much more than just the ending of a marriage that happens in a divorce. There's a plethora of relationships, experiences, and mutual things you’ve acquired along the way as well, and all of that has a compounded traumatic affect.” - Laurel Sole

“For us to work through trauma, we have to look through neurobiology, and we have to look at attachment, and we need to be looking at how we sort of run energy and regulate energy through our nervous system. We really need to be learning these skills.” - Laurel Sole

Guest Bio:

I began my graduate work in 2002. I imagined a path of International Social Work. I’ve traveled the world and lived everywhere, and my dreams of working globally were big. However, an unintended pregnancy, single parenting, child custody battles, a second marriage, more children, and some family trauma resulting in the tragic death of my brother informed a very different life path for me. This new path involved a deep and still evolving process of working diligently to understand myself and the choices I’ve made in this lifetime. I needed to understand my patterns and belief systems that kept me cycling in and out of trauma. I was tired of relationship struggles and stagnation that felt never-ending. I had to come to understand how I could make peace with the sudden unexpected changes life delivers and live a life of deep peace, deep knowing, and secure trust in myself, despite tragedy and encountering the unexpected. I came to this place via my own personal growth journey, and that ultimately is what guided me to what I offer my clients now, Therapeutic Life Coaching.

Resources:

Laurel Sole’s Website

Laurel Sole’s Instagram

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Saddle Up Segment: Understanding Your Beliefs About Money In A Divorce

Thu, 23 Mar 2023 07:00:02 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Linda’s advice is to understand all the stories our mind tells us about finances and money. We have something like 85k thoughts a day, and the majority of them are negative. Live in the present moment and be aware of the thoughts going through our brain, whether they are true, and how we can change them. Take little steps to make it happen. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Make Money Your Best Friend Through Divorce & Beyond

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 07:00:05 -0400

Today I am joined by financial coach, Linda Lingo. Linda empowers women to help them repair their relationships with finances and make money their best friend. Did you know by the time we are seven years old, our financial story is already created in our minds? Throughout this episode, Linda gives many mindset shifts that can help us to change our story to allow a better relationship with finances. She talks about how we take our financial story into our relationships and marriage, which can be a cause for arguments and especially create issues during a divorce. Tune in today to learn your financial story; it’s never too late to make money your best friend and rewrite your financial story.

In this episode:

[1:50] What inspired Linda to be a financial coach? [4:07] The first step in making money your best friend is to understand your beliefs about money. [7:30] How did Linda teach her children about money? [9:42] What was Linda’s takeaway from her childhood and learning about money? [11:30] How do our financial stories and beliefs impact your marriage? [12:57] What can someone do to uncover their financial story? [15:10] It's never too late to make money your best friend. [16:14] Linda gives us a couple of steps that people can take to feel more abundant with their money. [18:58] How is money like energy?

Key Takeaways:

Words are power, and they create energy. Make sure you are putting out believable statements. Small steps taken consistently achieve big results.

Quotes:

“Being in control of your finances gives you freedom, gives you security, gives you a feeling of abundance and gratitude.” - Linda Lingo

“Whatever our money stories or beliefs are, we bring those into our marriage.” - Linda Lingo

“When women can understand that they don't have to be afraid of money, that money can be their friend, they start setting up their finances in such a way that it supports them. And so, for many women, it's getting out of that scarcity mindset - I’m afraid, I don't know if I’m going to be ok, I don't know what my future looks like - you need to take the time to give yourself grace, number one, and number two that it's never too late to learn about how to make money your best friend.” - Linda Lingo

Guest Bio:

I started this business to provide tools and resources that help women gain clarity and confidence in their finances so they can move forward with their lives.

I want to empower women with smart money strategies so they can create a stress-free approach to money.

With my compassion and guidance, I will provide the right tools needed to make wealth a part of your everyday vocabulary.

Resources:

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Best Conflict Solutions Website

Saddle Up Segment: Benefits of Mediation

Thu, 16 Mar 2023 07:00:46 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Kim Best wants us to remember that this situation is for now. Where you are is just for now, and it will get better. She also wants you to remember that as you go through the divorce process, it's easy to place blame on your soon-to-be ex-spouse; instead of assigning a label to them that they are a liar, change your mindset and wording to ‘my ex has lied, it doesn't mean that is who they are all the time’. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Design Your Divorce

Tue, 14 Mar 2023 07:00:56 -0400

Today I am joined by Kim Best, a nurse turned divorce mediator in Tennessee. Kim walks us through how she got into mediation and what opportunities she sees through mediation. She focuses on the opportunity and the positive ways to handle conflict and divorce vs. feeling regret years later. Kim talks with us about how our difficult circumstances impact our legacy and some of the great examples she has gotten to be a part of with mediation. This episode is full of juicy nuggets and great takeaways, so make sure to tune in!

In this episode:

[3:07] How did Kim get to where she is today? [10:04] What are the benefits of mediation? [13:56] What does Kim see as uses for mediation? [15:52] How do these moments create our legacy? [17:58] Kim gives some examples of good divorces she has witnessed.

Key Takeaways:

Mediation can be the difference between hope and regret. You can choose to look back and be proud of how you handled the divorce, or you can look back and regret how things happened. Mediation isn’t just for divorce. Mediation can be used for family issues, such as for elderly parents or other things going on where you need a mediator in the room. You can't control the outcome of what the other person does, but you can control who you're going to be during the process, and nobody can take that choice away from you.

Quotes:

“We are all never so narcissistic as when we’re in pain. Because when we’re in pain, it's all about us, and it's all about protecting us, even when we don't know we need protected. Biologically our brains and bodies don't know the difference between an insult and someone holding a gun to our head; both of those actions feel like life-threatening.” - Kim Best

“Good people have terrible moments because we’re people. We’re more than our worst moment.” - Kim Best

Guest Bio:

Kimberly Best RN, MA is a TN Rule 31 listed Civil mediator and a TN Rule 31 trained Family Mediator, owner of Best Conflict Solutions (http://www.bestconflictsolutions.com ) focusing on Collaborative Problem Solving in Healthcare, Small Business Mediation and Conflict Management, Organizational Conflict, Elder Mediation, Family and Relationship Mediation, Dialogue Facilitation, and Conflict Coaching. She spent the first season of her career as a Registered Nurse in intensive care, trauma, and emergency medicine, where she cared for people in extreme need and gained valuable experience in the medical system. Kim attended graduate school at the University of North Carolina Charlotte in Clinical/Community Psychology. She obtained a master’s degree in Conflict Management from Lipscomb University in Nashville, Tennessee. Kim also trained in Transformative Mediation at Hofstra University, Healthcare Mediation at the University of South Florida, and Restorative Practices at the International Institute of Restorative Practices. She is an active member of Mediators Beyond Borders International and a working member of the ACR Elder Mediation Professional Development Group. She also serves on the board of the Tennessee Association of Professional Mediators.

Resources:

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Uncovering the Gift or Opportunity Through Suffering

Thu, 09 Mar 2023 08:00:04 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. When you go through something that feels hard, you can end the suffering a little quicker and look at it as a gift or an opportunity. When you go through something hard, ask yourself as soon as you can, “How can this be a gift in the future to me or someone close to me?” Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Mindset Episode

Feelings Wheel

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Suffer Less Through Divorce & Beyond

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 08:00:34 -0400

Today I am sharing some tools that can help you to view suffering differently. Shifting your focus during a difficult circumstance to look for the gifts or opportunities being shown to you instead of getting stuck in the situation can make a world of difference. I walk through three scenarios of realizing the amazing gifts I’ve received through challenging times. Tune in today to learn how to switch up your mindset.

In this episode:

[2:09] How do you approach your mindset and feelings? [3:56] What is a tactile way you can do a PQ Rep? [5:50] Why is meeting your prodigy brain essential to reduce suffering? [6:52] Lesa discusses the gift of pregnancy complications. [10:41] Lesa talks about the gift of adopting her daughter Sophia.

Key Takeaways:

Everything that happens is happening to you to teach you a lesson or give you a gift. Taking a step back from the complicated situation to look for gifts or opportunities can help you end suffering sooner. PQ Rep is a great tool to help calm the prodigy brain so you can find the lessons within challenging circumstances.

Quotes:

“If your feeling like you can’t circle out of it, sit with it for a second. Name it, feel it. Think, where do I feel this in my body, is it in my chest or stomach, what temperature is it, is it hot or is it cold? What color is it? All those things help you to become aware of that feeling.” - Lesa Koski

“Ask yourself, how could this be a gift? You can ask what can I learn from this so that moving forward, what I’ve gone through teaches me something.”- Lesa Koski

Resources:

Mindset Episode

Feelings Wheel

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Keith and Sheila Hittner Links

Saddle Up Segment: Be Healthy Inside & Out through Divorce and Beyond

Thu, 02 Mar 2023 08:00:18 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. The first step in changing your life is to decide that you want to get better. All wellness begins from the inside out, so if you are ready to change your worldview and your life, reach out to Keith or Sheila Hittner for an initial conversation, so they can steer you toward the best service. Also, make sure that you have good support while going through difficult times; if your support is toxic, it won’t help you move the peg forward. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Keith and Sheila Hittner Website

Phone: (651) 775-9194

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

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Keith and Sheila Hittner Links

Bonding with Stepchildren Through a High Conflict Divorce

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 08:00:23 -0400

Today I am joined by Keith and Sheila Hittner from Our Healthy Homes. Keith talks with us about his experience with divorce and raising his five children with Sheila. He talks about the struggles that he went through and how he supported his children through difficult circumstances. Sheila discusses how she bonded with Keith’s children and what got her started on her Healthy Homes program. Together they talk about how their experiences have played into their realty work, supporting different situations for clients, and the importance of bonding when a new adult comes into a family post-divorce. Tune in today to learn the four pillars of a healthy home and tips for introducing a new relationship post-divorce.

In this episode:

[1:15] Introduction to Keith and Sheila Hittner and their background. [5:32] Keith and Sheila share their lessons with bonding. [9:13] Keith talks about his experience with divorce, which included his five children. [13:05] As Keith looks back, does he think amicable mediation would have been an option for his divorce? [15:38] What was it like to send Keith’s children to their moms where the environment wasn’t good? [17:39] How old were Keith’s children when he and his ex-spouse went through their divorce? [18:30] What was it like for Sheila to bond with Keith’s children? [22:38] How does their experience with divorce play into their current reality work? [24:04] What are the four pillars of a healthy house? [25:17] What are the health items that Sheila is promoting? [28:37] What tools does Sheila use for her Healthy Homes program?

Key Takeaways:

When kids are involved, you are together whether you are married or not because there will always be circumstances where you need to participate together, such as birthday parties, holidays, weddings, etc. Some children will experience a sense of betrayal and guilt towards their biological parents when they bond with a step-parent. A healthy home means having the right real estate, ecosystem, and physical and mental health. If those four pillars aren’t all spoken to and worked on, then the roof is going to fall.

Guest Bio:

We believe that owning a home allows you and your family to put down roots and become established in the community. We believe that owning a home makes your family feel safe and more connected. We believe that families that own homes are more successful because they feel the pride of ownership and are modeling the American dream. We believe this dream is for everyone, no matter what the background, family structure, or anything else. These beliefs are central to everything that we do. Whether it is helping you buy or sell a home or helping you discover lifestyle choices that will make your home healthier. We believe that your home is central to your family life, and we want to be a resource to you, now and in the future.

Quotes:

“I just want everyone to know that there is an option that you don't have to fight it out in court.” - Lesa Koski

“When you don’t have your health, what do you have?” - Sheila Hittner

Resources:

Keith and Sheila Hittner Website

Phone: (651) 775-9194

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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The Breakup Monologues Instagram

Saddle Up Segment: Move Your Body

Thu, 23 Feb 2023 08:00:44 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week’s guest Rosie Wilby suggests that when you are going through the thick of a breakup or a difficult circumstance, move your body. Physical activity, exercising, and self-care connect you with your body and the world. What a great way to feel at peace! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Rosie Wilby's Website

Rosie Wilby's Twitter

Rosie Wilby on TikTok

Rosie Wilby's LinkedIn

The Breakup Monologues Book

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The Breakup Monologues Instagram

The Unexpected Joy of Heartbreak Through Divorce and Beyond

Tue, 21 Feb 2023 08:00:51 -0400

Today I am joined by award-winning U.K. comedian, author, and podcaster Rosie Wilby. Rosie delivers an empowering view of the unexpected joy of heartbreak. She offers the perspective of opportunities one can gain post-breakup and how society can begin to normalize that breakups can be positive and amicable. Rosie shares with us the idea behind her book, The Breakup Monologues, where she shares about several of the relationships she’s had that have come to an end. Tune in today to uncover the positives that can be gained through heartbreak.

In this episode:

Rosie provides some background on her book, The Breakup Monologues. What made Rosie want to share her past relationships in a book? What are Rosie's major lessons from her breakups? How can you see a breakup as a gift when you're in the thick of it? How many breakups does Rosie talk about in her book? We can start normalizing the idea that divorce can be positive and amicable. How to work through a situation if you feel trapped when desiring a divorce.

Key Takeaways:

Being single can allow us to step back and look at the trajectory of our life and how we want to live as individuals without the pull of what your partner might want. Relationships and marriage get really busy, and being able to step back after a breakup provides excellent opportunities. Breakups provide self-knowledge about what you want in a future relationship, what's important to you, identifying your needs, and what you want to do differently in your next relationship. When you are in the thick of a breakup, reach out and get support. Hire a therapist or talk to a friend who can be supportive. It should be someone who will empower you and lift you up vs. pull you down and speak negatively.

Quotes:

“I do feel that breakups, although they are incredibly painful and really difficult and really challenging times, they do provide an opportunity for reflection and growth, and they can be a catalyst for real positive change.” - Rosie Wilby

“Sometimes growing apart is really healthy growth. Sometimes we just grow individually and in good ways, but we happen to have gone in slightly different directions, and that's not a failing on our parts. We have this really toxic language, these binaries of success and failure, and somehow if we don't stay together, we’ve failed, whereas surely, if we've separated in a really healthy way, that might be really positive and really mature.” - Rosie Wilby

Guest Bio:

Rosie Wilby is an award-winning U.K. comedian, author, and podcaster who has appeared many times on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman's Hour, Saturday Live, and Four Thought. Her first book, Is Monogamy Dead?, was longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize and followed a trilogy of solo shows investigating the psychology of love and relationships. Her new book, The Breakup Monologues, is based on her acclaimed podcast of the same name and is published globally by Bloomsbury.

Resources

Rosie Wilby Website

Rosie Wilby's Twitter

Rosie Wilby on TikTok

Rosie Wilby's LinkedIn

The Breakup Monologues Book

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Saddle Up Segment: What To Do When Experiencing Loneliness

Thu, 16 Feb 2023 08:00:22 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During this week's episode, Brian Burns talks about loneliness and the importance of connection. As humans, we are hardwired to seek connection, so it can be difficult when it isn’t easy to come by. When experiencing loneliness, Brain suggests reaching out to someone. Don’t be alone; use modern technology and just connect with someone. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Mentioned in this episode:

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How to Heal A Broken Heart Through Divorce And Beyond

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 08:00:19 -0400

Valentine’s Day can be tricky when you are single, especially after a divorce or breakup. Today, I have family therapist Brian Burns on the show to give some great tips about battling loneliness and knowing when you are ready to move on to a new relationship. We touch on the difference between grieving the loss of a loved one and experiencing heartbreak because of the end of a relationship. Lastly, Brian discusses the healing that needs to occur before you are ready to enter a new relationship and how to get practice in the dating world post-heartbreak. Tune in today for some great tips, or share with a friend experiencing heartbreak and struggling this Valentine’s Day.

In this episode:

[1:17] How to fix a broken heart and deal with the feelings you may experience on Valentine’s Day. [3:48] Brian talks about loneliness and how you can take control of negative emotions. [9:40] Brian’s advice on what to do when going through heartbreak. [14:23] What is the difference between grieving the loss of life and a breakup? [17:47] How to work through the battle that is going on in your mind. [18:39] How do we know when it’s time to return to the dating world post-heartbreak? [22:58] How to look at dating as a practice to find your next relationship. How dating apps are a great way to practice.

Key Takeaways:

If you are experiencing loneliness, do one thing each day to connect with others. This could be a phone call, a text, or talking to the person in the checkout line at the grocery store. You never know who else is lonely, so brighten your day and someone else's through connection. Knowing and understanding what happened in your past relationship and what you would do differently in a new relationship is essential to moving on and finding a new love. Our brain is always searching for dopamine, so when you are experiencing loneliness, it will search for a time when you were happy. This may bring up times with your ex-spouse and create a feeling that you were the one who “ruined it.” Take the time to uncover the reality of the situation. If you were the right people for each other, then you wouldn't be experiencing divorce.

Quotes:

“You're confident in yourself; you know how you want to be as a human in a dating relationship. You have confidence in yourself that you can say yes when you're ready to say yes and no when it's not right to say yes.” - Brain Burns

Guest Bio:

I am also a certified mediator, parenting coach, and Rule-29 Neutral in the State of MN. This means I have the skills and experience necessary to help parents who are divorced to make agreements about parenting in a collaborative and child-centered manner. I believe that even though conflict and fear can bring out the worst in people, everyone has the capacity to be a better version of themselves and that our children need us to give it all we have to be our best.

Resources:

Email: Brian@mnrelationshiprepair.com

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Saddle Up Segment: Life Isn’t Always Rainbows, Sunshine, and Sparkles

Thu, 09 Feb 2023 08:00:40 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today I want you to remember that life is 50/50. It isn’t always going to be rainbows, sunshine, and sparkles; difficult circumstances will arise. However, reducing how much you suffer during those circumstances is possible. When you decide how to respond to a negative thought, you can end unnecessary suffering and have a better life. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

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Ten Minutes with Tracy - Worthiness

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 08:00:52 -0400

Each month I am joined by life coach and founder of Self-Made U, Tracy Pleschourt. This month we talk about worthiness and walk through a recent circumstance that made me second guess my own worthiness. Tracy talks about the best ways to shift your thinking and turn a negative situation into a positive one. Life will always come at us with difficulties. However, if you have the right tools in your toolbox, you’ll be able to handle them more quickly and find the gift within the situation. Tune in today to learn how to live life with intention!

In this episode:

[2:40] Did I jump in the pool with my grandson? What does Lesa’s growth journey look like? [7:15] Lesa gets coached on her issue around worthiness with a specific situation. [15:57] You can choose how you want to go through a circumstance. [17:04] What happens if you feel that life should be happy in every instance? [19:21] How do our thoughts impact our actions?

Key Takeaways:

Getting uncomfortable while pushing yourself means that you are growing. It is not a sign that you have done something wrong. Healing work is hard, but once you are on the other side, your life is 100% better for it. Manage your mind, so you don’t follow an unfolding of compounded negative results. Instead, intercept it and find the gift and opportunity you can learn. Life is 50/50. There will always be good and bad; that is just part of life. How you react and respond impacts your life positively. Learn from the circumstance, and the next time a difficult situation arises, you’ll be able to face it better.

Quotes:

“We can learn through certain circumstances, but that's really where it gets kind of fun. Because can we apply what we learned through other circumstances to expand our growth?” - Tracy Pleschourt

“You are supposed to suffer; you are supposed to experience negative feelings; that is part of life. That's what makes the good even possible; this is life, and you have to expect them both.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“You get to decide what kind of life you want to live. Do you want to live a life that is full of intention, or do you want to live on default? When you want to live in intention you are going to do things like this so that you can see things so that you can change things. That is not a promise or a guarantee that life is going to be 100% good feeling; what I can guarantee you is that you will be able to feel equipped, ready to manage the negative feelings.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Resources:

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Saddle Up Segment: Give Yourself A Break

Thu, 02 Feb 2023 08:00:06 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today’s guest Janet left us with two pieces of advice. First, remember that you can only show up the best you can each day, so if you are struggling, give yourself a break, take a breath, and remember that tomorrow is another day. Secondly, understand that co-parenting is a learned skill that needs a lot of practice. A good co-parenting relationship won’t happen overnight, so keep focusing on the children and practicing! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Janet Price’s Website

Janet Price’s Instagram

Janet Price’s LinkedIn

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What I Wish I Would Have Known About Co-Parenting After Divorce

Tue, 31 Jan 2023 08:00:12 -0400

Today I am joined by divorce specialist Janet Price. After being a child of divorce and then going through a divorce of her own, Janet has some excellent tips on navigating a co-parenting relationship. During today’s episode, she talks about her experience through her divorce, her difficulties, and the healing that took place, which left her with a huge a-ha moment. Janet provides some excellent advice about what she would have done differently if she faced a divorce with children again. Tune in today to learn how co-parenting is a learned skill and how to support your children so they can become successful adults.

In this episode:

[1:38] What led Janet to do this work? [6:12] What does Janet wish she would have known during her divorce? [11:35] How to create a co-parenting relationship when the marriage felt like you were a single parent. [13:40] What do you do if you have entirely different values/styles of parenting? [18:15] Janet’s tips on what she would do differently.

Key Takeaways:

Even if parents can’t have a civil co-parenting relationship, focusing on the children and their needs should be the highest priority. Your children will be ok as long as they have at least one strong, emotionally healthy, solid value parent to help guide them in their life.

Quotes:

“I had all the power in the world to not have that conflict, and in fact, it was what I was doing because of my history that was as I was trying to reduce it was the exact thing that was triggering my co-parent. And so that's when I decided I have this awakening, and I would like to help other parents see it so that the children do not have to experience the trauma of divorce.” - Janet Price

“Co-parenting as the literal word can be a very broad spectrum, and that’s ok because sometimes the parents will be better off if you don’t try forcing it.” - Janet Price

“It’s ok to share your values with your children and help raise them in your values in your household, and you don't have to say anything about the other parent.” - Janet Price

Guest Bio:

Janet Price is a certified divorce specialist, certified co-parenting specialist, and conscious co-parenting coach who empowers loving parents to rise out of the middle and move from surviving to thriving. Janet is passionate about supporting parents' transition from intimate partners to their business partner relationship for the kids.

Janet knows the dynamics of divorcing and co-parenting as a child product of high-conflict divorce and a mother involved in high-conflict parenting. Janet's coaching programs and one on one practice provide parents with tools, skills, strategies, and support to co-parent effectively and transition to their business partner relationship.

Resources:

Janet Price’s Website

Janet Price’s Instagram

Janet Price’s LinkedIn

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Savvy Ladies Free Financial Support

Saddle Up Segment: Become Financially Savvy

Thu, 26 Jan 2023 08:00:10 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Lisa Zeiderman’s number one tip is to become financially savvy. It is crucial that you understand your finances and that someone else isn’t doing it for you. If you need assistance walking through your finances, Savvy Ladies is an excellent free resource that pairs women with financial advisors! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Lisa Zeiderman’s Website

Lisa Zeiderman’s LinkedIn

Lisa Zeiderman’s Facebook

Lisa Zeiderman’s Instagram

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Lisa Zeiderman’s LinkedIn

How NY High Conflict Divorce Litigator Lisa Zeiderman Does Divorce Differently

Tue, 24 Jan 2023 08:00:50 -0400

Today I had the honor of talking with a high-conflict divorce attorney from NY, Lisa Zeiderman. During this episode, we discuss how Minnesota and New York divorce processes are similar and different. She discussed her divorce journey and how she and her ex-spouse could co-parent. She shares a story of a high-conflict divorce that she worked through and the lessons learned from that divorce. Tune in today to learn some great tips on going through a divorce as a parent and tips on becoming financially savvy.

In this episode:

[3:15] What is Lisa’s background, and how did she become a divorce attorney? [5:41] What was Lisa’s divorce like? [11:23] Does NY require mediation for a divorce? [13:20] When should an attorney be looped in for a MN divorce? [14:30] Lisa shares a story about a high-conflict divorce. [16:39] What is the best way to disclose all the assets?

Key Takeaways:

Children will remember the experience they had with each parent over the number of hours they spent with each parent. It’s really about the quality of time that was spent with the kids over the quantity of hours spent. When going through a divorce with children, it's key to remember that their needs change as they grow up. What is necessary for a 2-year-old will differ from a 15-year-old. Co-parent and work with your ex-spouse throughout the years to do what is best for the child. Be honest and straightforward with the information you are disclosing. If you are hiding something, it will get found out, and when it does, it reduces trust.

Quotes:

“Overall, I think what we did do well was we did not demean the other parent to our child. And I think that was something that was very important, and my child, who is now a grown woman, actually has a great relationship with both of us.” - Lisa Zeiderman

“Mediation is great when it's simplistic, and everybody is in the know, and everybody comes with an equal playing field essentially, and both parties can advocate for themselves. And I think mediation is great when the attorneys are down to an issue to two, but if you are looking at an entire financial partnership between two people, you really need to make sure you have all of the facts.” - Lisa Zeiderman

Guest Bio:

Lisa Zeiderman is a highly accomplished attorney in all areas of matrimonial and family law. Named both Crain’s New York Notable Diverse Lawyer and a Business Notable Woman Lawyer for 2022, Ms. Zeiderman is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, a founding member of the American Academy of Certified Financial Litigators, and a member of the panel for Attorneys for Children.

Resources:

Lisa Zeiderman’s Website

Lisa Zeiderman’s Facebook

Lisa Zeiderman’s Instagram

Savvy Ladies Website

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The Moms Guide to a Good Divorce Book

Saddle Up Segment: Finding Your North Star Through Divorce

Thu, 19 Jan 2023 08:00:19 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Sarah Armstrong advises focusing on your North Star through the divorce. Have a picture of what you want the divorce to turn out like and have that in your mind each time you are dealing with pieces of the divorce. Step back and keep your child(ren) in focus as well. Remember that people can live a new phase of life just under a new structure. Learning to co-parent and create a good divorce will be best for you, your ex-spouse, and your child(ren). Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

The Moms Guide to a Good Divorce Website

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The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce Book

A Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce

Tue, 17 Jan 2023 08:00:43 -0400

Today I am joined by Sarah Armstrong, the author of The Moms Guide to a Good Divorce. Sarah wrote this book to empower other moms to focus on partnering with their ex-spouse to keep the peace for their child(ren). She gives some incredible tips on preparing your child(ren) for divorce, handling the “firsts” post-divorce, and continuing a solid co-parenting relationship. Sarah shares the impact of divorce on children and how to do the best job of protecting them from the parents' decision. Tune in today to learn how to help your children cope with the process and how to create a good divorce.

In this episode:

How to handle the “firsts” post-divorce? to a Good Divorce? Was Sarah’s divorce easy, and what was her experience with her ex-spouse? How do you prepare children for divorce? How to handle the “firsts” post-divorce? How do you continue a solid co-parenting relationship?

Key Takeaways:

Children don’t choose to get divorced but are most significantly impacted by that decision. Think about what’s best for your children when going through the divorce - that will lead you to a “good divorce.” Utilizing the compartmental muscle is a critical skill post-divorce. Choosing to save a frustration or negative emotion to be kept and released when children are not around. Focusing on reducing the impact on the children will do wonders for them as they grow up. They will watch how the parents handle divorce and feel the effects of changing houses, being apart from their parents for holidays, etc. It is a big deal to them, so creating a consistent routine and being supportive is vital when going through the divorce and beyond.

Quotes:

“Divorce is an action. You get divorced. What you put your children through during that process can have such an impact emotionally, on their view on marriage and relationships and just their overall happiness.” - Sarah Armstrong

“Your children are watching you every moment along the way. What you're showing them is that you will focus on re-living or re-litigating why you got divorced and who did something to the other person. Or will you look ahead and say we are creating a new positive, happy life here and moving forward? And I think the compartmentalization muscle is a key component to think about when trying to move on and look ahead.” - Sarah Armstrong

Resources:

The Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce Website

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: Forgiveness Does Not Excuse What Somebody Did

Thu, 12 Jan 2023 08:00:36 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Forgiveness does not excuse what somebody did, however, it is a way for you to feel freedom after difficult situations. As you work through forgiveness, you will gain an understanding of what happened, and you set yourself up to move forward. It doesn't mean you won’t feel bad again; it means that when old stories pop up, you gain the ability to know you are safe. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Forgiveness Worksheet

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Forgiveness Through Divorce in MN and Beyond

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 08:00:19 -0400

On today’s episode of our monthly session with Tracy Pleschourt, we discuss the importance of forgiveness. Tracy walks us through the Four N’s of forgiveness and how to work through each step. Holding on to resentment can cause a lot of turmoil in life, affecting your friendships and relationships. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that the person is correct; it just means that you are letting go of the emotions impacting your life and setting yourself free. Tune in today to learn how to find thankfulness and positive intentions out of the things in life that feel heavy.

In this episode:

[2:40] Lesa’s story of what she needs to forgive from her teenage years. [5:53] Lesa and Tracy walk through the 4 N’s to work through forgiveness. [16:00] How to write a letter of forgiveness. [17:05] Why are the 4 N’s necessary? [19:05] Next month's topic: Worthiness

Key Takeaways:

Your brain is either your worst enemy or your best friend. It will either work for us or against us. Quiet down the negative thoughts and turn up the strength within us. Forgiveness is a gift that you are giving yourself. There is much that can be learned from these situations and why forgiveness is needed. Find the things you can be thankful for, and make the forgiveness about the lessons learned. When people avoid forgiveness, they will hold on to the situations causing a grudge or grief, which will continue to impact their life.

Quotes:

“It doesn't excuse what somebody did, you understand what happened, and you are moving forward. It doesn't mean that you don’t feel bad again or you don't have thoughts pop up that hurt you. Still, when old stories pop up, you let yourself know you are safe.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“Part of neutralizing it was to have empathy for her and to think maybe what she went through, I can’t know exactly.” - Lesa Koski

Guest Bio:

Resources:

Forgiveness Worksheet

Mentioned in this episode:

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Marrie Simpson ~ Functional Medicine Health Coach

Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Different?

Thu, 05 Jan 2023 08:00:55 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three of our guest experts on how you can do divorce differently. The first piece of advice is to focus on forgiveness. Holding on to resentment can negatively affect you and keep you from moving on in your life. Next, working on your love life is necessary for the post-divorce experience. Uncovering your trauma and healing the wounds you experienced in your last relationship will have your next love relationship unfold differently. Lastly, get support and have people by your side who you can confide in, which helps you realize you are not alone in what you are going through. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Marrie Simpson

Dr. Thomas Jordan

Love Life Learning Center

Learn to Love Book

Tracy Malone:

Targeted Healing Journals

Narcissist Abuse Support Website

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Is it Time to Divorce? You Don't Have to Fight it Out in Court

Tue, 03 Jan 2023 08:00:00 -0400

Today I am so excited to share my interview with Keith and Sheila Hittner from the Our Healthy Homes radio show. In this dynamic episode we talk about why I became a mediator and how I work with and support my clients. We also discuss one of the biggest stressors in relationships, why mediation is so important, and who is a good fit for mediation. Tune in to learn more about the mediation process from beginning to end and so much more!

In this episode:

[01:00] Why Lesa became a mediator. [05:00] Why finances are stressors in relationships. Can a couple fighting over finances come to an agreement and stay together? [09:20] Building a mindful budget. [10:45] How does Lesa help her clients do divorce differently? [16:00] What does the mediation process look like? [21:30] How does Lesa work with different personality types? [23:00] Lesa shares how being a mediator has helped her grow as a person. [25:00] Lesa shares her online Minnesota Divorce Course. [30:00] Why working together with a mediator through divorce can work. [36:00] Why being honest through the divorce process is so important to create a successful divorce plan.

Key Takeaways:

Finances are one of the main stressors in relationships. Divorce is hard. There are a lot of emotions and frustrations involved. A mediator can help a divorcing couple work through that process and set themselves up for success. You can make your divorce how you want it. It will be within the parameters of the law, but it’s your divorce. As long as you understand what you are doing, shouldn’t you be the one deciding that?

Quotes:

“Money is stressful. There may not be enough of it or you may feel like one person isn’t pulling their weight or someone loses a job, that can add stress and lead someone down the road towards divorce.” - Lesa Koski

“Sometimes the people you love the most are the ones you’re not the best to.” - Lesa Koski

“If you want to find what the problem is, most of the time the problem is looking back at you in the mirror. So if you deal with your own issues, you’re better able to get along with other people.” - Keith Hittner

Resources:

Our Healthy Homes Website

Our Healthy Homes Facebook

Our Healthy Homes Twitter

Our Healthy Homes Podcast

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Saddle Up Segment: The Importance of Talk Therapy

Thu, 29 Dec 2022 08:00:23 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During this week's episode, Brian Burns shares the five stages of grief and how they are similar when going through a divorce, as you are experiencing the death of the marriage. He talks about how important it is to utilize talk therapy. Finding someone you can confide in and feel seen and known is vital in working through grief. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Psychology Today for Therapy

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Divorce and Grief the Death of Your Marriage in MN and Beyond

Tue, 27 Dec 2022 08:00:52 -0400

Today, we are joined by marriage and family therapist Brian Burns to discuss grief. Brian starts the conversation by defining grief and the five different stages that someone goes through when experiencing grief. He explains what complicated grief is and how grief ties into getting divorced as it is the death of your marriage. Brian provides excellent tips on noticing the signs of getting stuck in grief and how to cope with complicated feelings. This episode is full of great information and steps on moving forward in your life after the event that causes grief in your life.

In this episode:

[2:27] Brian defines grief and what it can look like. [8:15] Brain talks about his experience dealing with internal struggles after dropping children off at college.[10:35] What is complicated vs. uncomplicated grief? [14:49] Where do people get stuck with grief, and how do they cope with the feelings? [18:20] What does it mean to take care of your life? [22:30] What is the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score? [23:43] What should you look for when finding a therapist?

Key Takeaways:

The five stages of grief are denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance; however, they don't happen linearly. Each person handles the stages of grief in a different order and, at times, goes back to the stages multiple times. Complicated grief is what a person experiences when handling something that shouldn't have happened, such as the death of a child or divorce. It is something you cannot understand that wasn’t supposed to happen. This is different than uncomplicated grief, which is something that was expected to happen, such as someone dying from old age. To move through grief, you must take charge of your life. Understand who you are, what's important to you, who you want to be ten years from now, and who you are as a parent. When you have answers to these questions, you have resilience which helps you handle the situations that come your way.

Quotes:

“When you lose a marriage that was important to you, that never is ok, that's never the way it's supposed to be. But it is what happened. So acceptance means the ability to tolerate or manage or shoulder the new reality and still have a meaningful, happy purpose-driven life.” - Brian Burns

“Divorce is complicated grief because even if you are in the position of choosing it because your seeing the marriage is no longer healthy for you or anyone, there's still the what ifs, there's still that sense of what does this mean about me, could I have prevented this, what could my partner have done, did I choose wrong?” - Brian Burns

“When life kicks you in the ass, that's a chance to take the exit that you choose, to take control in a way that leads you to a life of more meaning, more knowledge, more experience, that is just as happy and fulfilling as the one you lost, or that was taken from you.” - Brian Burns

Resources:

Psychology Today for Therapy

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Saddle Up Segment: Protecting Yourself From A Narcissist

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 08:00:24 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During part two of our episode on narcissism, Tracy shares three pieces of advice. First, protect yourself emotionally through this long process. Next, don’t give up hope; this will end one day - focus on the fact that you are free from the abuse and able to move on with your life. Lastly, ensure you have as much detail as possible in the divorce decree limiting any areas of gray space. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Targeted Healing Journals

Narcissist Abuse Support Website

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Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can't Make This Shit Up Author Tracy Malone Part 2

Tue, 20 Dec 2022 08:00:14 -0400

Today we have part two of our Divorcing Your Narcissist episode with Tracy Malone. During this portion of the episode, one of Lesa’s clients comes on to ask questions regarding what she is experiencing in her divorce. Tracy helps the client navigate how to handle triggers and keep herself from shutting down. How to decide what is worth fighting for and knowing the rights around large items like pension and retirement. Lastly, Tracy gives wonderful advice about “Narc-Proofing,” the divorce decree to eliminate gray areas. Tune in to this episode for some incredible coaching tips to set yourself up for success when divorcing a narcissist.

In this episode:

[1:35] Lesa’s client joins the episode to ask her questions. [2:54] The best ways to deal with outlandish accusations and triggers [7:57] How do you make the decision-making process move from mediation to court? [10:34] Decision-making tips around what to fight for and what to let go. [16:40] How do you “Narc-proof” your divorce decree?

Key Takeaways:

Narcissists know your triggers, so they will always go after your greatest strengths. Their goal is to shut you down, so the goal is knowing that this is a game and you have to keep yourself from shutting down. Prepare yourself so that you can protect yourself. Research your rights when going through a divorce on the big things (pension, retirement, the house, etc.) If you are fighting over more minor things like items in the home, determine if the item is worth the amount of money it will cost to fight for it. Make sure everything is mapped out to the extreme detail. There should be no gray areas in the divorce decree. Write out the specifics so if they go through any gray areas, they are in contempt of court. Include dates and times for everything.

Quotes:

“We can't control what they’re going to say or do. And so for us, we have to manage how we respond to them.” - Tracy Malone

“They're just intimidating you; their entitlement to everything is not true. This is gaslighting 101; this is how they keep a victim trapped by not letting them know their options. Most people will fall and just be like, oh, ok, I don't get anything; I’ll take this much because they’re used to being manipulated.” - Tracy Malone

“Knowing that the narc-proofing is really making sure that everything has a date and a time and if he’s supposed to pay you payments.” - Tracy Malone

Guest Bio:

Tracy Malone is a survivor of narcissistic abuse. As soon as she learned what the heck all the crazy people in her life were doing, she started teaching, sharing, and bringing others to understand. Tracy has been abused her whole life but only learned 18 months ago her mother, her sisters, her ex-husband, his crazy family, and ultimately a boyfriend of 2.5 years that caused this transition in her life with his horrific discard. Tracy has spoken to and helped hundreds of survivors, and she can help you with private coaching and virtual online group narcissist abuse support meetups. She lives in Colorado and owns a marketing company that helps businesses understand how to market. Everything from their website to SEO and social media.

Resources:

Targeted Healing Journals

Narcissist Abuse Support Website

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: How To Know If Someone Is A Narcissist

Thu, 15 Dec 2022 08:00:00 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. During part one of our episode about narcissism, Tracy said that the most common indicator that someone is narcissistic is that they have no compassion for you. Narcissism is on a broad spectrum, so if you feel like a narcissist has impacted your life, I encourage you to focus on your healing vs. giving them a label. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Mentioned in this episode:

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Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can't Make This Shit Up Author Tracy Malone Part One

Tue, 13 Dec 2022 08:00:13 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Author and Private Coach, Tracy Malone. Tracy has dealt with narcissism her whole life with her family and relationships. Today she talks to us about the signs of narcissism. Tracy covers what it can be like when someone becomes aware that they are in a relationship with a narcissist. Many people may be unaware that their loved one is a narcissist and don’t learn until they are faced with a divorce. Tune in today to know what to look out for and how to navigate healing from a narcissistic relationship. Don’t forget to tune in next week for part 2 of this episode!

In this episode:

[1:35] Tracy shares her difficult divorce from her narcissistic ex husband. [5:35] Is it common for people to be unaware of narcissism? [7:04] Does Tracy work with people still healing from a history of narcissism? [8:49] What are the signs of narcissism? [14:37] How can marriages last 30-40 years if one spouse is a narcissist? [16:08] Tracy talks about what self-absorption means. [17:05] Can a narcissist do mediation, or is it a fight in court?

Key Takeaways:

Gaslighting creates an environment where you begin to question reality. You start to lose your identity and forget your worth. Narcissists can have fun but can also be cruel to their children behind closed doors or show false love, which keeps family and friends close. It is common for them to be passive-aggressive and to give the silent treatment. This can make divorcing a narcissist very challenging. The biggest sign that someone is a narcissist is that they have no compassion for others, even the person they’ve been with for many years. They can be married to someone for 30+ years and suddenly not care about the other person's well-being.

Quotes:

“I think most people don't know it until they are faced with divorce. Someone says, `You know I think they are narcissists’, and they start to do the deep dive that I did.” - Tracy Malone

“The public persona of what our family was, was so not the reality, but that was what they were selling.” - Tracy Malone

“Narcissists use false love to manipulate people; they are selfish. They have no ability to feel shame, empathy, or guilt. Therefore they can do whatever they want; it doesn't matter if you've been married to them for 30 years, you are pond scum to them when they can only see black and white.” - Tracy Malone

“During divorce, something happens. We call it a narcissistic injury. Whether they decided or you decided, basically, you go from all good to all evil.” - Tracy Malone

Guest Bio:

Tracy has spoken to and helped hundreds of survivors, and she can help you with private coaching and virtual online group narcissist abuse support meetups.

She lives in Colorado and owns a marketing company that helps businesses understand how to market. Everything from their website to SEO and social media.

Resources:

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: Creating A Thought That You Can Believe In

Thu, 08 Dec 2022 08:00:42 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today we talked about truly loving yourself and creating a thought you believe in. Lesa’s thought is, “I am a woman learning how not to care what people think when I jump into a pool in a bathing suit with my grandson.” Next, set up boundaries for yourself! Hop on my website to grab your boundary worksheet and learn what your boundaries are, the consequences, and how to set them up. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

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Ten Minutes with Coach Tracy Self Love and Boundaries

Tue, 06 Dec 2022 08:01:00 -0400

It’s time for our monthly check-in with Tracy Pleschourt! During this episode, we follow up on Lesa’s self-doubt from last month and work on improving her self-doubt. Then we dive into Tracy’s boundary-setting advice. Tracy talks about the importance of understanding why you need boundaries, how they benefit individuals, and how to focus on boundaries being self-care. Head to the website today to grab a copy of the boundary-setting sheet!

In this episode:

[3:10] How to work through your thoughts on self-doubt. [10:11] How do you set up boundaries? [12:26] How is a boundary different than a request? [15:20] Sitting and thinking about things in your life that make you frustrated. [19:05] How to create a deal breaker if you don’t move forward with the boundary you are setting. [19:30] Creating consequences when boundaries aren’t managed.

Key Takeaways:

Becoming self-made means that you are constantly working on yourself. There is no finish life. You are going to continue to grow and evolve throughout life. Boundaries are not set to control other people; they are set to get the results you want for your life.

Quotes:

“Just notice the difference in how you feel when you're operating from a belief that sounds very judgmental like I can't, or I’m not worthy of attending something, I’m not worthy of getting into the pool without a care in the world. There's a whole lot of judgment wrapped up in that. That doesn't feel very good, and if it doesn't feel very good, you’re not going to show up as your best self.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“Boundaries ultimately are created for you. It is kind of an operating system for the results that you want to create for you. It isn't a manipulation tactic; it isn't an ultimatum; it isn't in an effort to control someone else. Boundaries are created so that you get results that you want from your life.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“Self-care comes in all shapes and sizes. This is a self-care to add to the toolbox, try it out; it may or may not work, but this is another great tool to take care of yourself.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Guest Resources:

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Saddle Up Segment: Tips for Co-Parenting Well Together

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 08:00:37 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week Lesa talks about the importance of co-parenting well together, putting the focus on working together for your kids. The goal of parenting is to create resilient, strong humans. If you are feeling triggered by your ex, put a picture of your children on the phone, so when they are with your ex, and they call, you’ll think of your children rather than any negative emotions. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Mentioned in this episode:

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Parenting Through Divorce

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 08:00:47 -0400

For today’s episode, we’re sharing an episode from the Peace and Parenting Podcast where Lesa was a guest. During this interview, Lesa gives some great tips on how to work together in a co-parenting relationship. Lesa and Michelle discuss how to create a healthy relationship and why it is vital for children to see their parents working together. Lesa dives into creating a parenting plan and what to keep in mind while working through some tough decisions. Lastly, Michelle talks about hope after divorce and how there is life afterward! Tune in today for some of Lesa’s best tips!

In this episode:

[3:01] What does it mean to become a co-parenting specialist? [6:10] Tips when working together as co-parents. [9:00] How to work through situations when healthy co-parenting isn’t an option. [10:46] As time goes on, how does the relationship shift post-divorce? [12:01] Why taking care of yourself is essential during a divorce. [15:45] How to create an excellent parenting plan. [20:22] There is hope after divorce.

Key Takeaways:

If given the right environment, kids can recover from the trauma of their parents getting divorced. Self-care is vital so that you are as well as you can be and as healthy as you can be, to take care of your children in the best way possible. When the primary caretaker is depleted, everything falls apart. Be a united front for the children. Have the children be front and center when thinking about your parenting plan. Keep a photo of the children in front of you while you work through the plan to remember why you are creating a co-parenting relationship.

Quotes:

“The one child who really seemed to thrive was the one where the parents kept it focused on him and his brother. The parents did birthday parties together, they celebrated holidays together, and I want to say it's not all doom and gloom. I know not everybody has the opportunity to co-parent well with someone. There are situations where that isn't possible, but the people coming to me want to work together, that doesn't mean they like each other, or it's not hard.” - Lesa Koski

“If you can be in the same room as that person, do your very best because those kids need that, and you're going to be connected for the rest of your lives; there's going to be weddings and grandchildren, there's always events.” - Lesa Koski

“There is life after divorce!” - Michelle Kenney

Resources:

Split Documentary

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: Becoming Aware of Your Relationship

Thu, 24 Nov 2022 08:00:34 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Today Dr. Thomas Jordan gives us his advice on how to work on your love life. Look inside of yourself, determine what things you replicate in your relationships, and get conscious of changing them to healthier attributes that you will look for in your next partner. The time between divorce and your next relationship is so important to work on yourself. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Love Life Learning Center

Learn to Love Book

Mentioned in this episode:

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Create a Healthy Love Life After Divorce in Minnesota and Beyond

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 08:00:29 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst Dr. Thomas Jordan. Dr. Thomas Jordan has spent over thirty years studying love relationships. He talks with us about what it looks like to replicate the relationships each individual sees growing up and how those relationships carry over into adulthood. We talk about the process of getting conscious of the unhealthy factors in relationships that individuals face and how to turn those into healthy aspects for future relationships. Tune in today to hear how to become conscious about your programming and create a healthy love life.

In this episode:

[1:10] Dr. Thomas Jordan tells us what led him to study love relationships. [2:56] What is unconscious learning? [6:43] What is a disappointing love life? [12:13] Dr. Thomas Jordan talks about the replication process - emotion and physical attributes. [16:02] Getting unfamiliar is uncomfortable and can be anxiety-producing. [18:19] How do people recreate the experiences that have been unhealthy in their life? [20:53] How is re-creation done? [25:22] How can becoming conscious about your programming help in marriage also?

Key Takeaways:

Once you become conscious of the things you learned as a child, you can unlearn the items that no longer feel healthy and change your ways. What we have learned becomes a belief, which is what we look for in relationships. This all happens subconsciously. Until you become aware, this is the path that you will follow. Going through a divorce opens up the opportunity to get curious about your past relationships, uncover what you’ve been repeating, and re-create what you want your love life to look like.

Quotes:

“We can do something about the type of relationship we set up when we fall in love. The relationship we set up, healthy or unhealthy, is what contains that love and grows it. If you set up a healthy relationship, fine; there's a good chance the love will last a lifetime. If you set up an unhealthy relationship, then there can be problems because the relationship in and of itself can stifle the love that you're experiencing, and I believe that's what happens with a divorce.” - Dr. Thomas Jordan

“We have the wonderful ability to challenge things we’ve learned, challenge habits, challenge things we’re used to, challenge what we’re familiar with.” - Dr. Thomas Jordan

“You’re the person that creates your own love life experience.” - Dr. Thomas Jordan

Resources:

Love Life Learning Center

Learn to Love Book

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: Make the Holidays Positive Through Divorce

Thu, 17 Nov 2022 08:00:20 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Brian Burns’ number one tip is to remember you are in charge of your life and how your future goes. Take charge of your attitude and make the holidays positive. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Brian Burns’s Website

Mentioned in this episode:

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Handling the Holidays Through Divorce in Minnesota and Beyond

Tue, 15 Nov 2022 08:00:55 -0400

Marriage and family therapist, Brian Burns is back! In today’s episode, we talk about handling the stress of the holidays on top of a divorce. The holidays are quickly approaching and for many, this will be the first year celebrating the holidays after a divorce. It is possible to enjoy celebrating the holidays after a divorce. Tune in as Brian shares his top tips to make the holidays less stressful through divorce like: how to honor existing traditions, creating new traditions, spending quality time together as a family, and choosing whether to co-parent or split-parent this holiday season.

In this episode:

[2:00] The reality of divorce during the holidays. [4:00] Why it’s important to not make your issues your kid’s issues. [5:15] The value in celebrating the holidays together as a family. [7:00] Being grateful through all of the change. [9:00] Taking care of yourself so that you can focus on your children. [10:30] To co-parent or to split-parent during the holidays? [15:30] Creating new traditions for your children as a single parent.

Key Takeaways:

It’s important that you not make your issues your kid’s issues, especially around the holidays. Kids do so much better when they are free to be happy and excited and the family is together. Children always have the fantasy of their parents getting back together. Celebrating the holidays together can reinforce the idea that “we are still a family and we can still like each other.” Divorce is hard. It’s so important to take care of yourself so that you can care for your children from a healthy mindset. Seek support from a therapist or family coach to best move forward through divorce.

Quotes:

“If you are going through the trauma of a divorce, on top of holidays, that’s hard. I’m just acknowledging that. So give yourself some grace, forgive yourself for how hard that is.” Brian Burns

“Keep in the front of your mind that your kids are watching you, and they are learning how to be human. They are learning how to be in relationships, how to be in a family. We want them to learn how to navigate family, whatever family is because you can’t always choose and predict.” Brian Burns

Guest Bio:

I’m Brian Burns and I have been practicing as a licensed family therapist since January 1999. I specialize in helping adults in the midst of relationship crisis restore trust, intimacy, and communication. Whenever possible, I prefer to help couples save and strengthen their marriages or committed relationships. However, not all relationships can (or should) stay together. In these cases, I help the couple end the relationship in a way that is healthy for everyone, especially when there are children involved.

Resources:

Lesa Koski Websit e

Mentioned in this episode:

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Marrie Simpson ~ Functional Medicine Health Coach

Saddle Up Segment: Balance Your Stress

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 08:00:30 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Marrie’s advice is to balance stress, eliminate processed foods by eating whole foods, and get 4-5 servings of vegetables with each meal! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Mentioned in this episode:

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Marrie Simpson ~ Functional Medicine Health Coach

First Menopause Now divorce Learn How to Elevate Your Health Through it All

Tue, 08 Nov 2022 08:00:51 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by a certified physician assistant and founder of Elevate Health and Wellness, Marrie Simpson. Marrie helps us understand the signs that come with pre-menopause and menopause. She dives into the best tests and ways to help your body through this season in life. Tune in as Marrie shares her best tips on estrogen, balancing hormones, and how to reduce stress during a difficult time like divorce.

In this episode:

[2:32] Marrie discusses what made her jump into functional medicine. [4:30] What is Elevate Health and Wellness? [6:37] Understanding pre-menopause and menopause. How do women balance hormones? [9:28] Are there foods that can help balance hormones? [11:22] How does alcohol impact hormones? [14:56] What are the best hormone tests to use? [18:54] What creams are safe to use for hormones? [21:05] Is estrogen by prescription only?

Key Takeaways:

Lifestyle changes can help balance hormones such as nutrition, getting enough sleep, lowering cortisol, and exercising. People don’t make as much melatonin when stressed, which can impact sleep. Don’t start using hormones without seeing someone experienced; visit a functional health doctor to determine what's best for you.

Quotes:

“Stress is a huge contributor to imbalance of our sex hormones, and obviously, when you're going through divorce or going through marital issues, most people are pretty stressed. And so that is going to contribute to some of the symptoms you could get. Oftentimes hormones become imbalanced, and we tend to see more estrogen dominance, meaning higher amounts of estrogen and smaller amounts of progesterone. And we really want to balance those hormones.” - Marrie Simpson

“Birth control pills are the number one cause of stroke in women in their 30s and 40s.” -Marrie Simpson

“I think the number one thing to do is to do foundational nutrition and lifestyle pieces. So making sure you're eating really healthy, getting whole foods in, focusing on vegetables, healthy proteins, and again movement, sleep, managing stress, all of that is very important. Because we can take 40 different supplements, but if you're not eating healthy, you're not getting movement, you're not getting good sleep; you want to get those foundations down and then get some building blocks on top of that.” - Marrie Simpson

Guest Bio:

I am a wife, mom, and grandma. In my free time, I enjoy spending time outdoors, swimming, biking, and hiking, and I have a love for learning. My faith and love for Jesus are the foundation of who I am, and I desire His love and wisdom to shine through in every facet of my life.

For nearly thirty years, I’ve worked exclusively in the medical field as a Physician’s Assistant. During my time as a PA, it became clear that Western Medicine was not adequately treating the deeper, underlying issues that my patients were experiencing. This left them with unsolved chronic health issues, often pain, inflammation, fatigue, difficulties losing weight, and digestive and metabolic disorders. I knew there had to be another solution.

Roughly 18 years ago, I became certified in functional medicine through the Metabolic Medical Institute/A4M and took several courses from IFM and other functional and environmental platforms. Through this, I gained insight into identifying and treating the root cause of illness.

Resources:

EWG.org - Clean Products

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Differently?

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 07:00:22 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing our listeners can do right away to add value to their lives. Today’s episode is a compilation of this month's guests, Duana Welch and Dan Simon. Duana’s advice is to reach an agreement between you and your ex as best you can. Be kind and respectful, remembering there was a time you chose this person. If that is not possible, hire someone who can help guide a collaborative divorce. Dan’s advice is to get clear on what matters to you, don’t be influenced by friends, your lawyer, or your ex. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Lesa Koski Onli n e Courses

Guest Resources

Duana Welch

Self-Determination in Mediation Book

Dan Simon

Simon Mediation

Mentioned in this episode:

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Ten Minutes with Tracy: Sharing Painful Stories to Support Clients Through Divorce in Minnesota and Beyond

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 07:00:13 -0400

During our monthly session with Tracy, Lesa gets coached on a difficult topic. We discuss focusing on ourselves and our image, taking away the opportunity to impact others' lives. Tracy coaches how people can become aware of their thoughts and work to change them. Tune in today to learn how to avoid spending your life chasing circumstances.

In this episode:

[4:20] Tracy coaches Lesa on focusing on how to leave people feeling a certain way. [8:26] What does it mean to have a self-made mind? [13:28] How do we neutralize and normalize our thoughts? [18:14] How can people push themselves through their difficult thoughts? [22:35] Do you want to spend your life chasing a circumstance?

Key Takeaways:

If you are so focused on yourself and your looks/image, you lose the opportunity to leave your true mark on others. Creating awareness is the first step to making changes. Without awareness, you can’t change; you must first become a master of your mind. Check-in daily and decide how you’ll optimize your day. You can’t control circumstances for the most part, but you can manage your thoughts.

Quotes:

“I want to be a person who focuses on how I touch people, how I make them feel warm and loved, and I don’t want to focus on my shortcomings.” - Lesa Koski

“You have to take care of yourself and be your best self to be a good parent.” - Lesa Koski

“When you can share the vulnerable imperfect side of yourself with your loved ones, holy cow, that changes everything. You're modeling so many things on so many levels when you can do that. And they learn so much from just witnessing that.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Resources:

Mentioned in this episode:

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Self-Determination in Mediation Book

Saddle Up Segment: How To Handle Conflict in Minnesota and Beyond

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 07:00:13 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Minnesota Mediation Trainer Dan Simon shares how to handle conflict. Whenever you are experiencing conflict with someone, you are a person in conflict at that moment because you are judging the other person a certain way. Whenever you are in that situation, step away and do an empowering activity (deep breathing, a walk outside, yoga, etc.) to get to a better place. Then come back to the situation and reevaluate how you feel. You’ll likely be set up to have a better conversation and sort through the difficult subject. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Simon Med i ation

Mentioned in this episode:

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Divorce Mediation Benefits and Why it Works in Minnesota and Beyond

Tue, 25 Oct 2022 07:00:13 -0400

In today’s episode, Minnesota Mediation Trainer Dan Simon talks about what it means to be a transformative mediator. He discusses what that means when working with clients and how it leaves them feeling empowered in their decisions. Dan dives into how he handles escalated conversations and creates space and light for clients to work through difficult decisions. Lastly, Dan tells us about his book Self Determination in Mediation and how it can help those outside the mediation field. Tune in today for some amazing mediation tips.

In this episode:

[1:29] Dan shares his history as a mediator. [6:39] What is transformative mediation? [9:46] Is the best part of transformative mediation when clients come up with an agreement? [12:07] Should a mediator share ideas they’ve seen with other clients or just let the clients figure out what they should do on their own? [14:53] How Dan handles an escalated conversation. [18:09] How Dan splits his time between mediation and teaching. [18:40] Dan tells us about his book, Self Determination in Mediation.

Key Takeaways:

Mirrors and lights are used in transformative mediation. People can look in the mirror at themselves and see what they are projecting, creating space and light for individuals to breathe. A mediator should not be telling a couple what to do. Mediators are there to throw ideas around and help facilitate a dynamic conversation, not to ultimately tell clients what to do. We need to realize that we have power, aren't victims of each other, and don’t have to victimize each other. It's so important to learn to listen to other people’s points of view.

Quotes:

“Anybody who has studied communication or psychology or human relationships of any kind gets it that if we want to get to a better place, that's going to involve talking to each other.” - Dan Simon

“It’s actually the clients that are going to come up with the best agreements.” - Dan Simon

“Always be watching the clients to see if there is anything triggering them that maybe wouldn't trigger me because it's about them.” - Lesa Koski

“In this day in age where there's so much conflict, and there is so much belief in the fact that you're right and another person is wrong. I think we can all learn how to be mediators.” - Lesa Koski

Guest Bio:

Dan teaches transformative mediation in MN and CA and published the book Self Determination in Mediation with Tara West.

Resources:

Simon Mediation

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: You Are Meant To Be Loved

Thu, 20 Oct 2022 07:00:06 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. To re-cap, in both parts 1 and 2 of our conversation with Dr. Duana Welch, remember that you are meant to be loved! Have the courage to put in the work and find that love. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Mentioned in this episode:

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Find Your Match After Divorce with the Love Doctor, Doctor Duana Welch Part Two

Tue, 18 Oct 2022 07:00:06 -0400

Today on Doing Divorce Different, we hear Part 2 of our conversation with Love Doctor, Duana Welch. Duana discusses how to put together an ad for a dating site and spread the word that you are looking for love. She also digs in on the details of your must-have list and how to not settle for someone who doesn’t meet your entire list. In this episode, she gives so many great tips on creating an enticing ad that reflects who you are and what you are genuinely looking for. Tune in as Duana gives us her best dating advice.

In this episode:

[00:50] The next step for finding love! [3:12] Showing your dating ad to your community of friends and family creates more eyes on finding someone for you. [5:47] What advice does Duana have for photos? [12:25] Prepare yourself before you post your ad. [15:46] How are you determining your “must-haves”?

Key Takeaways:

Take pictures that show you on a great day, but not on a glamor shot or with filters. Don’t mislead people. The photos you use shouldn’t be older than 6 months. Put the word FUN in your profile at least twice! If a quality in the person is a deal breaker, do not try to get over it. There’s a reason you’ve been through a divorce, don’t set yourself up for that again.

Quotes:

“Everyone thinks it's a numbers game; they get told it's a numbers game, it is not. It's a knowledge game. What do you know? If you know the right stuff and you can apply it, then it becomes about interacting with very few carefully chosen people.” - Duana Welch

“Know your must-haves backward and forward and how you're going to assess them. That list is indispensable. If you try this without a list, you're going to get predictably terrible results most of the time. Do this with a list! And then you can say to yourself, is he kind? That's a must-have and should be on everybody's list. Is he kind? How do I assess that? I would ask him if your ex was here, what would she say was the reason for your divorce? And then I'm going to listen really carefully not only to what he says because that can give me some good insight into who he is and whether it’ll work for me. Most people will give very different answers from what someone else says vs. what they’d say.” - Duana Welch

Guest Bio:

Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch.

Resources:

Guest Resources:

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: Find and Be Someone Kind and Respectful

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 07:00:40 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Love Doctor Duana Welch’s piece of advice is, “If you can find and be someone kind and respectful, your love life will probably go well. And if you can’t, it won’t.” This has been a saying for over 60 years and still holds true today. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Mentioned in this episode:

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Dating After Divorce with the Love Doctor, Doctor Duana Welch Part One

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 07:00:11 -0400

In today’s episode, we are talking to Love Doctor Duana Welch. Duana is an author and love coach who helps women find love the love of their life. Using her experience of finding love after divorce, she tells us how to get out there and find love again. Duana talks about the ten steps she has created to find a beautiful and solid relationship, also available in her book. It can feel intimidating to start dating and putting yourself out there again, but tune in to this episode for some great tips!

In this episode:

[1:19] What led Duana Welch to her Love Doctor role? [2:34] Duana gives us advice on how to start dating post-divorce. [7:48[ Duana talks about taking action to get out there, and their mindset will change as a result. [9:30] Duana takes us through the steps of her program to begin finding your match. [21:28] What should your ad look like on a dating app?

Key Takeaways:

Have the courage to look for someone. Put yourself into the dating market. Most people don't even look. Love is for those who have the courage to date. Create a list of everything you want in a partner, but be realistic. Do you have the same qualities that you are looking for in a partner? Sign up for one month only on dating apps. This tells the algorithm to keep pushing you to try and get you to sign up for another month. If you sign up for multiple, they won’t keep pushing your profile after the first month.

Quotes:

“Who we love and how successful that relationship is, has more impact on our health, our wealth, our longevity, our career success, our life satisfaction, and even our sex life than any other choice we will make.” - Duana Welch

“The first action I want people to take is to write down everything they want in a partner. Everything.” - Duana Welch

Guest Bio:

Want more love in your life? Whether you’re single, partnered, or questioning anything about relationships, get coaching with Dr. Duana Welch.

Resources:

Guest Resources:

Mentioned in this episode:

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Peace and Parenting Facebook

Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Differently?

Thu, 06 Oct 2022 07:00:27 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. The first piece of advice is to have hope through the process. Shift from being the victim to being a survivor and allow this difficult time to be a part of your healing process. Next is to keep the conflict away from the children and create a world that is conflict free for them. And lastly, create win-win outcomes. Remove the animosity and focus on financial impacts, work together and know what the other person’s goals are. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes and new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Michelle Kenney:

Peace and Parenting Instagram

PeaceandparentingLA.com

Email @ Michelle@peaceandparentingla.com

Divorce Analytics Website

Victoria Kirilloff:

Wealth Analytics Website

Financial Consultation

Victoria Kirilloff Instagram

Jenni Rochelle:

Beauty after Betrayal Podcast

BetrayalTraumaQuiz.com

Jenni Rochelle’s Website

Jenni Rochelle’s Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

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Let's Change the Divorce Story (Ten Minutes with Tracy)

Tue, 04 Oct 2022 07:00:30 -0400

Today is our monthly session with Tracy Pleschourt, life coach and Founder of Self-Made U. During this episode, we talk about mindset shifts when looking at data in our lives. I get raw with my fears and struggles around putting together a budget, and Tracy coaches me through looking at budgeting (or any data) in a new way. She emphasizes removing the fear around the data and shares one simple step to pivot the feelings we experience when diving into an area of our lives that we have decided has to be complicated. Tune in to today’s episode to learn the practical steps of changing your mindset and allowing a shift in thoughts.

In this episode:

[4:48] Why do we fear looking at data? What stories have we created? [12:15] How to release the “hard” feeling. How could you look at the situation in a positive way? [13:35] Why do we need to look at data to make decisions? [16:30] It’s not all about making it hard. Change your mindset to make it simple. [18:25] What steps can be taken to move forward?

Key Takeaways:

The first step when going through a divorce is to do your budget. This helps in planning, in feeling comfortable and confident, and makes you aware of what the future holds. Once you have all the data and assets, you’ll know where you stand. Thought downloads. Change your thoughts away from fear. If you live in fear, you’ll never take action and sit stagnantly. Face the fear, and you’ll see it isn’t bad. Start small; change your awareness on one number, not the whole budget. Change one variable ever so slightly, and you will see results. This is the same in any area of your life.

Quotes:

“I don't care if it's the bank account or it’s what the scale says. People don't want to look at it because they are afraid of feeling afraid. And so they speculate, oh my gosh, I don't want to go there because I know it's going to take me down. The first step is normalizing it.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“You have experiences in your past that you made meaning of, and you carried it forward, and that's created this neuropathway. Your brain operates from these very efficient thoughts, aka neuropathways; you think them all the time!” - Tracy Pleschourt

“The problem is the fact that she is operating from a belief that creating or managing a budget is hard. Because that thought has her feeling afraid, which has her doing nothing, NOTHING to get a different result.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Resources:

Mentioned in this episode:

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Peace and Parenting Facebook

Saddle Up Segment: Guiding Your Children Through Divorce

Thu, 29 Sep 2022 07:00:42 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. We asked Michelle what the best direction to take is, and she said to focus on parenting. If your child does something that you don’t like, such as hit, be sassy, or talk back, instead of correcting them, come to them with complete and utter affection. Turn it into a play-in-the-moment situation, and get silly with it to make the strong feelings easier to get through. Give them a hug, make a joke, and show them that you are there and you love them. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes, new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Peace and Parenting Instagram

PeaceandparentingLA.com

Email @ Michelle@peaceandparentingla.com

Mentioned in this episode:

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Peace and Parenting Facebook

Take the Fear out of Parenting Through Divorce with Peace and Parenting's Michelle Kenney

Tue, 27 Sep 2022 07:00:20 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Michelle Kenney, a certified coach who focuses on helping parents connect with their kids. Michelle gives some great tips on handling difficult situations with our children. No matter what they are struggling with, Michelle encourages parents to connect with them, show their children empathy, and help them work through difficult emotions. She talks about how and when to discuss the divorce with children and what information to give them so they can be prepared. Tune in to hear these fantastic parenting tips, whether you are going through a divorce or not!

In this episode:

[1:40] Getting to know Michelle Kenney and her background. [7:22] What does creating or keeping a connection with your child(ren) look like during divorce? [9:55] How to bend your life to connect with your older children - meeting them for their needs. [11:18] How do you open up the line of communication with your kids that you are getting divorced? [13:32] What do kids need to hear when they are told divorce is happening?

Key Takeaways:

Connection is the way to go if you want to create a great relationship with your children. Spend 20 minutes a day of 1:1 time with each kid, doing something they enjoy. Drop what you are doing and focus on them to create a strong bond. When supporting a child through divorce, think of creating a connection of what you desire—empathy, openness, good communication, etc. Think of the values you want and implement them into your parenting. Everyone is going to take an emotional hit during a divorce. Research shows that they will turn out ok, so don’t worry! Be open and honest with the kids, talk about how hard it is, and let them come to you with each emotion they experience.

Quotes:

“When I found a connection, she totally changed because I changed.” - Michelle Kenney

“What do kids need to hear? They need to hear that it's not their fault. That everyone still loves them. And they need to know the logistics of what’s going to happen to them.” - Michelle Kenney

“We cannot protect our children from all the hurts of the world, nor do we want to. Because if we try to protect our children from all the hurts of the world, then they don't know how to recover from the hurts of the world. And when they go out there, and they’ve never had a big hurt, it takes them down.” - Michelle Kenney

Guest Bio:

I'm a former "yeller," recovering "perfectionist," and reformed "control freak"...

I help parents find more calm and peace at home in a modern, demanding, and hectic world.

I help parents cultivate self-regulation by showing them how to move away from yelling and threats and into more connection.

Resources:

Peace and Parenting Instagram

PeaceandparentingLA.com

Email @ Michelle@peaceandparentingla.com

Mentioned in this episode:

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Divorce Analytics Website

Saddle Up Segment: Budget For Divorce

Thu, 22 Sep 2022 07:00:14 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Victoria’s tip is to create a realistic view of your post-divorce budget. It can be uncomfortable, but it is the greatest tool. You have the power of the world at your fingertips when you have a budget. Do yourself a favor and create a vision of how your budget will operate to build it into your future. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Wealth Analytics Website

Financial Consultation

Victoria Kirilloff Instagram

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Divorce Analytics Website

Take the Fear out of Divorce Finances with Financial Expert Victoria Kirilloff

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 07:00:26 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Victoria Kirilloff, who gives us some incredible financial tips. Victoria dives into how women can prepare for divorce by creating a budget and understanding their future finances. She also talks about the difference between men and women regarding spending. Victoria walks us through some great mindful spending tips to help us evaluate if we need to make a purchase. Tune in today to learn more about how women can be financially and emotionally ahead of the game regarding finances in all aspects of their life, especially during divorce.

In this episode:

[1:21] Introduction to Victoria and how she got started with her work. [8:38] Where can people get good advice that's well-rounded and will cover them? [9:43] How are we set up to be financially stupid? [11:18] What does “the biology is different as a woman” mean? [13:55] How is money an imaginary object? [15:39] Creating awareness about spending: Victoria discusses mindful spending. [21:50] What's something women can do financially to feel ahead of the game? [23:25] How should women handle the emotional aspects of finances?

Key Takeaways:

Men traditionally were the hunters. They will not spend anything, and then they will go buy a large item. Women are the gatherers; we will look at sale bins and make it a day to hit every store in town. How much money you’re spending can be scary. We are economically incentivized to go out and spend money we do not have. Mindful spending questions to ask: How are you feeling right now? Who do my feelings economically benefit? Understand how your emotions are being activated. Is this purchase a need or a want? What happens if I don’t buy it today? Can I live without it? Does this purchase reflect my core values?

Quotes:

“Your budget is one of the most important tools you have in your divorce arsenal. In fact, it should be the best tool you have in whatever life event you are going through.” - Victoria Kirilloff

“Women traditionally are not really taught to advocate for themselves. We are taught to be good little girls, to sit there and shut up and to smile. I see that as a major problem because money is inherently; there's a little conflict in it because everybody wants it. So if you don’t understand how to stand up for yourself, it can make negotiating for small things very difficult.” - Victoria Kirilloff

“Money is power. And power is control.” - Victoria Kirilloff

Guest Bio:

Victoria Kirilloff CDFA founded DivorceAnalytics.com. DivorceAnalytics.com focuses on bringing financial clarity and transparency to the divorce process and illustrates the real-world impact of proposed settlements. By concentrating on the financial facts, Victoria shifts the divorce process from destructive to productive. Victoria is a lifelong learner and spends most of her free time increasing her knowledge base. In addition to being a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and a mediator, Victoria holds seven other different financial services licenses and designations.

Resources:

Wealth Analytics Website

Financial Consultation

Victoria Kirilloff Instagram

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Beauty after Betrayal Podcast

Saddle Up Segment: You Are Not Alone

Thu, 15 Sep 2022 07:00:13 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Jenni’s number one tip for those working through betrayal is to remember you are not alone. Get yourself the support that you need, whether it’s a therapist, coach, women’s group, or going to yoga. Heavily invest in yourself to heal and work through the trauma you are feeling. Also, hire a great lawyer! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

BetrayalTraumaQuiz.com

Jenni Rochelle’s Website

Jenni Rochelle’s Instagram

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Divorce, Betrayal and Dating with Jenni Rochelle

Tue, 13 Sep 2022 07:00:10 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by betrayal trauma specialist Jenni Rochelle. Jenni tells us about her experience with sex addiction, betrayal from her ex-husband, and how she got into her current field. She tells us about the three different stages of healing through betrayal. Jenni then dives into what it is like to start dating post betrayal and how to talk with the potential partner about what you’ve gone through and what triggers you may experience. Tune in for a realistic picture of hope after betrayal.

In this episode:

[1:14] Jenni introduces herself and discusses how she got into this field.

[3:30] What is betrayal trauma?

[4:25] When does betrayal become a level of trauma?

[6:05] How did Jenni heal from her betrayal, and can the person who committed the betrayal heal?

[9:07] What are the three stages of healing?

[12:16] What does it feel like to trust someone to start dating again post betrayal?

[16:29] What if someone hasn't healed from a betrayal?

[19:35] Finding safety in your next relationship when triggers arise.

Key Takeaways:

People with sex addiction can heal, but it can take a long time. It can take 2-5 years for them to develop empathy.

Everyone suffers. Different traumas are handled differently by everyone. There are big T traumas and little t traumas, but they are all trauma.

Many trauma behaviors are labeled as co-dependencies, but they are actually a form of PTSD.

Trauma is the gift that keeps on giving. The triggers will get less, but there can still be a tiny part of our minds that makes us second guess what’s going on in our life with what happened in the past.

Quotes:

“Betrayal trauma is when a person or institution we rely on for safety and security betrays our trust.”

“Look at all of your relationships and figure out the pattern of how you showed up over time.”

“We can understand how we’ve been showing up in relationships, and it's typically unhealed and unprocessed trauma from when we were little girls. Nobody gets everything they need when they are little. So we’re trying to work that out. Again it's not conscious. So when we can see that, we can understand and try to make choices differently in relationships.”

Guest Bio:

Jenni Rochelle is the founder of the Beauty After Betrayal™ community, which has helped hundreds of women reconnect with themselves, their bodies, and their beloveds.

With a Masters in Spiritual Formation, she awakens women to their birthright of personal freedom. Jenni is also a thought leader in the field of betrayal trauma. Her podcast, Beauty After Betrayal, has helped thousands of women heal with hope and rise.

Inspired by her clients and informed by her own journey, Jenni’s work is focused on mentoring high-achieving, emotionally intelligent women to get out of their heads and into their bodies in order to shift their relationships.

Jenni is a certified life coach trained according to the Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) developed by the Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Trauma Specialists (APSATS).

Resources:

BetrayalTraumaQuiz.com

Jenni Rochelle’s Website

Jenni Rochelle’s Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

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Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Different?

Thu, 08 Sep 2022 07:00:14 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. Think of divorce as a wonderful opportunity to shift gears in your life. Be true to yourself, and follow what you know is right. Take control of the things you can manage, such as your space, and embrace the change because there will be something amazing for you on the other side. Truly prioritize you! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Attorney Elizabeth Neyens:

Neyens Law Website

Neyens Law Instagram Page

Elizabeth Neyens LinkedIn

Phone number for consultation: (651) 478-8999

Dr. Adam Woods:

Spruce Solutions:

Spruce Solutions Website

Spruce Solutions Facebook

Spruce Solutions Instagram

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Saddle Up Segment: Envision Your Life

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 07:00:58 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. We asked both Heather and Terri what you could start doing now to move forward. They mentioned creating a vision board or creating short-term and long-term goals to get you started on what you envision your life looking like. Then work towards those goals. Heather and Terri also remind us to start small, pick one space, and grow your organization. Don’t get overwhelmed trying to do the whole house at once. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Spruce Solutions Website

Spruce Solutions Instagram

Mentioned in this episode:

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Spruce Solutions Facebook

Divorce De-Clutter (Divorce and Organizational Opportunity) with Spruce Solutions Heather Bender and Terri Link

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 07:00:13 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by co-owners of Spruce Solutions, Heather Bender and Terri Link. Heather and Terri founded the organizing company together to help people tackle their tasks with less stress. They’ve joined us to discuss their different services and give some great examples of rooms they have helped clients re-organize. We also talk about how organizing your home can make a difference in how the house feels to bring clarity, calmness, and peace to the home. Tune in today to learn more about their services and tips that you can do on your own to spruce up your home.

In this episode:

[1:38] Introduction to how Heather and Terri joined together. [2:55] What is cognitive coaching? [3:50] How was Spruce Solutions born? [6:12] What does it look like when a potential customer contacts Spruce Solutions? [8:08] What do the services look like? [15:42] How long does it usually take to organize a space? [18:00] How do people get organized?

Key Takeaways:

Organizing your home can create a feeling of mental clarity. The less clutter you have around your house, the easier it is to focus on the items that need to be in the front of your mind. You don’t have to tackle the whole house at once. Start small, organize your junk drawer or bathroom counter, and then get inspired to continue managing different areas of your home. Hiring someone to come in and organize can have a similar feel to a house cleaner. They can come monthly and help re-organize or sort through your things. They are also an excellent non-biased party who can help you determine what needs to be in the house, what needs to be seen, and what can be kept but put away, and what can be donated.

Quotes:

“I'm in charge now; I get to reinvent my life, I get to put things where I want them, and I get to feel the way I want to and have my own space. Even though divorce is hard and we don’t wish it on people, it's often an opportunity.” - Lesa Koski

“What is it about this space that you either don’t feel happy with right now, what are you envisioning it to be like, what are things you like about it, what are things you don’t like about it?” - Terri Link

Guest Bio:

Spruce Solutions is a professional organizing company serving the Twin Cities and surrounding areas.

Congratulations! You have taken the first step to getting started on living your best life by stopping here. Eliminating clutter and getting organized will help you live your most efficient and productive life, giving you the time to focus on the people and things you love the most.

At Spruce Solutions, we take pride in working one on one with our clients in a confidential and judgment-free approach to best understand your needs. After all, this is your home and our mission is to make you feel happier and reduce stress by creating a space that works for you and your family. From the initial consultation to the final touches, we will treat your project as if it is our own home. We believe that every little detail matters. We have a passion for organization and an eye for design. Let our talents go to work sprucing up your space!

Resources:

Spruce Solutions Website

Spruce Solutions Instagram

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Neyens Law PLLC Facebook Page

Saddle Up Segment: Planning for Your Future

Thu, 25 Aug 2022 07:00:27 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Elizabeth Neyens discusses how often we can feel like so much of life is out of our control. There is always something that we can control, so take the step forward by planning for the future and the possibilities that may rise. This gives the feeling of being prepared for whatever comes your way. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Neyens Law Website

Neyens Law Instagram Page

Elizabeth Neyens LinkedIn

Phone number for consultation: (651) 478-8999

Mentioned in this episode:

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Neyens Law PLLC Facebook Page

The Journey Beyond Divorce an Opportunity to Plan Your Future with Attorney Elizabeth Neyens

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 07:00:56 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Estate Planning Attorney, Elizabeth Neyens. Elizabeth talks about the importance of Estate planning in general and after divorce. Estate plans cover everything from a home to financial planning for your children and animals! Elizabeth also talks about career planning and the significance of LLCs. Tune in today to learn more about estate planning and how to handle it after divorce.

In this episode:

[2:07] What made Elizabeth decide to become an attorney and go into the estate planning space? [5:20] Elizabeth shares tips about what people need to do after a divorce? [7:18] How does creating a new estate plan post-divorce look? [9:30] What does it look like if a parent passes away and a guardian wants visitation rights? [10:53] Other things people need to think about when doing estate planning. [14:55] Elizabeth touches on career desires and how to move forward with your career. [16:00] Why is it important for someone to set up an LLC? [17:23] What does pet planning look like with estate planning?

Key Takeaways:

When planning your beneficiaries and decision-makers, they can all be different. You may want a different person handling your financial items and another handling your medical decisions. Make sure to update your guardian's post-divorce, as many states will kick off your spouse. Create a trust for your children, determining the monetary amount they can get and when. You can create multiple milestones for payment, for example, some at 18 for college, then some at 25 years old, etc. Also, indicate the decision-making that a financial decision maker has access to make, so money doesn't fall into the wrong hands. When starting your own company, create it under an LLC. This protects your personal assets if something should happen. If you do not create an LLC, your business and personal assets can be taken.

Quotes:

“One of the easiest and quickest things you can do is update your beneficiary designations on your life insurance, your retirement accounts, brokerage, any type of account you have; a lot of them can be beneficiary designated. That’s a quick thing you can do fairly fast.” - Elizabeth Neyens

“Not that we often see divorce as an exciting time, but we can change the story of divorce and change it to something that is expanding your horizons.” - Lesa Koski

Guest Bio:

Following a successful sales career, Elizabeth Neyens attended law school to pursue a profession that would provide an opportunity for her to help solve families’ problems during difficult times. Elizabeth graduated from William Mitchell College of Law. She currently practices in Oakdale, Minnesota, primarily in the areas of estate planning and probate, which are two areas that involve family transitions, challenging circumstances, thoughtful decisions, and careful planning. Elizabeth aims to be not only a legal advocate but also a calming influence.

Resources:

Neyens Law Website

Neyens Law Instagram Page

Elizabeth Neyens LinkedIn

Phone number for consultation: (651) 478-8999

Mentioned in this episode:

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Quiet Your Mind and Get to Sleep

Saddle Up Segment: The Life-Changing Effects of Meditation

Thu, 18 Aug 2022 07:00:11 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Dr. Adam Woods says his wish is that people be good to themselves and be true to themselves. His number one tip is to work on meditation. Remember that it is a process and takes practice. The more meditation is a part of your life, the better focused and relaxed you’ll be, and the more positive feelings you’ll have towards others. Check out some of the apps Dr. Adam mentioned to get started today! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Books:

Meditation Apps:

Insight Timer - 100,000 free meditations

Waking Up - Sam Harris

Calm

10% Happier

Headspace

Mentioned in this episode:

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Well Being Through Divorce and Beyond with Dr. Adam Woods Part Two

Tue, 16 Aug 2022 07:00:49 -0400

In today’s episode, Psychiatrist Dr. Adam Woods is back for Part 2 of his five steps to well-being. During this episode, we cover steps #2 through #5 and dive into each step in detail. Dr. Adam provides many excellent resources for listeners to dive further into each step. He breaks these steps down and truly makes them feel achievable for anyone! Dr. Adam also discusses the pros and cons of medication for mental health needs and how his 5-steps can work alongside prescribed medication. Tune in today to learn more about how to shift your life through Therapy, Sleep, Exercise, Diet, and Meditation.

In this episode:

[0:52] Step 2: How sleep impacts your well-being. [3:28] Step 3: Keep your body active - what forms of “exercise” count. [5:30] Step 4: Good diet - eating less processed foods and the truths behind diets. [9:47] Step 5: Meditation and the different types available. [19:45] Wrapping up the five things to well-being and how they work together. [22:18] Breathing tips, how to breathe for anxiety. [24:25] How they all work together: Medication, Changing Lifestyle, and Anxiety. [32:15] The Rent Project.

Key Takeaways:

Our bodies do not know the difference between hardcore exercise and daily activities. Our ancestors did not do intentional workouts. They were just more active, which is what we need. Play with your kids, go for a walk, choose something you enjoy and move your body. Meditation can look different for everyone. For some people, it is sitting down and meditating; for others, it is doing a focused sport such as running, rock climbing, or another intense sport where an activity occupies the mind. No headphones in; just allow your mind to focus. So many of our health issues are tied to the amount of processed food we consume. Instead of following a specific diet, focus on eating closer to plants, whole foods, and things that give you energy. Health issues like obesity, type 2 diabetes, and heart disease didn’t start until after WWII, when more heavily processed foods were introduced.

Quotes:

“If I could change nothing else about your picture except making you sleep better, you will get better. Now how much better I can't say, but I can promise you you will get better.” - Dr. Adam Woods

“Why is meditation so powerful? #1 is when you think about it, meditation is therapy with yourself. The second big reason about meditation is that people’s sleep tends to improve dramatically.” - Dr. Adam Woods

“The point is not to clear your mind; the point is to accept your mind for how it is.” - Dr. Adam Woods

Guest Bio:

Dr. Adam Woods is a "Family Psychiatrist" (a term of his own invention, meaning he sees both children and adults) who practices in North Liberty, Iowa. Adam got a Masters of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary and served as a Presbyterian Chaplain in the United States Air Force. During his time in the military, Adam fell in love with medicine, ultimately deciding to leave the Air Force and attend the prestigious Duke University School of Medicine, where he got his MD in 2012. Adam decided to return to Iowa and do his Psychiatry Residency at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics. Adam currently lives in Coralville, Iowa with his wife, Laurie, and their 6 year old daughter, Mackenzie.

Resources:

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Saddle Up Segment: Becoming The Next Version Of Yourself

Thu, 11 Aug 2022 07:00:28 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we reflect on the story that we have created for ourselves. This story will be carried on by our spouses, friends, and family. If that is no longer the story that you want to be identified by, then create a new story for yourself. Settle into who you are becoming as a person that writes their own story. You are becoming a new way of being married or of being divorced, the next version of you. The challenge Tracy would like to offer our listeners is to “define what it is that you are becoming.” It can be positive, inspiring, and so exciting to make this shift! Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

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The Number One Step to Well Being Through Divorce and Beyond with Dr. Adam Woods Part One

Tue, 09 Aug 2022 07:00:57 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Psychiatrist Dr. Adam Woods to discuss the five steps to well-being. In this two-part episode, we learn about Dr. Adam’s background and how he came to be a Psychiatrist. We discuss the importance of adding self-care to a routine, especially amid a divorce, loss, or a significant life change. During this episode, we focus on step 1 of his 5 step process, which is Therapy. Tune in today to learn more about how medicine is only a small portion of working through trauma and tips for finding the right therapist for you.

In this episode:

[3:40] Dr. Adam Woods's journey and story of how he became a psychiatrist. [17:25] What are the five steps of well-being? [21:22] Why Dr. Adam approaches treatment with wellbeing, not just medication. [24:37] The number one thing to help with well-being: Therapy.

Key Takeaways:

Medication is a tool that can be used to help through a difficult time, but it is not the only tool to use. Self-care and the five steps Dr. Adam goes through are necessary for healing. When we are not feeling well, mentally or physically, it is our body trying to talk to us. Don’t just numb yourself; listen to what your body is telling you and work through the feelings. Therapy is different for every person, sometimes, it only takes a couple of sessions, and sometimes it takes years to work through what your mind needs. If therapy doesn’t seem to be working, seek out another therapist.

Quotes:

“I tell people when they are in the process of divorce, or they’ve lost a job or a loved one has died, it's very much the same kind of loss. If you look at the physiological literature it's identical.” -Dr. Adam Woods

“We forget in the midst of a crisis to do normal things to take care of ourselves, and here is the problem: our body can’t talk to us, so all it can do is make us feel bad. When our body makes us feel bad, it hopes we’ll pay attention.” -Dr. Adam Woods

Guest Bio:

Dr. Adam Woods is a "Family Psychiatrist" (a term of his own invention, meaning he sees both children and adults) who practices in North Liberty, Iowa. Touting a somewhat unusual resume, Adam attended Drake University for undergraduate school and obtained his BFA in Acting & Playwriting before embarking on a career as a professional actor and singer in various venues all over the world. After deciding the world of theater was an avocation and not a vocation, Adam got a Masters of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary and served as a Presbyterian Chaplain in the United States Air Force. During his time in the military, Adam found himself doing hospital chaplain work and absolutely fell in love with medicine, ultimately deciding to leave the Air Force and attend the prestigious Duke University School of Medicine, where he got his MD in 2012. A proud Iowa native with deep family roots, Adam decided to return to his home State and do his Psychiatry Residency at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics. Adam currently lives in Coralville, Iowa with his wife, Laurie, and their 6 year old daughter, Mackenzie.

Dr. Adam Woods is the executive producer of an AWESOME theater project which will be happening in December to raise money for some amazing non-profits. It's called the Iowa RENT Project.

Resources:

Dr. Adam Woods Email

Iowa RENT Project

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Saddle Up Segment: How Do You Do Divorce Different?

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 07:00:35 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from three different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. The overall thoughts are really zoning in on yourself and what you can control. Feel your emotions and don’t make major decisions based on anger. Use the transformation of divorce as a catalyst to your next best life. Lastly, confront yourself to take charge of the rest of your life, don’t depend on others, you are ultimately in charge of the direction of your life. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Max Rivers:

Max Rivers Website

Claire Samuels:

Claire Samuels Law Website

Claire Samuels Law Facebook

Claire Samuels Law LinkedIn

Claire Samuels Law Instagram

Brian Burns:

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Ten Minutes with Tracy: Change Your Divorce Story

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 07:00:39 -0400

On today's episode of Ten Minutes with Tracy, We discuss changing your divorce story. Tracy and Lesa talk about becoming better listeners and diving into the art of understanding. When going through mediation, marriage counseling, or divorce, there are many benefits to listening to the other person's perspective and not feeling like you have to respond. We also discuss the stories that we tell ourselves that others learn to know about us that create our identities. Tune in today to learn how to look at these identities differently and allow yourself to see what you are becoming.

In this episode:

[1:06] The importance of listening and understanding. [4:43] Becoming divorce and becoming the next version of yourself. [5:43] When working on yourself, be intentional about listening and understanding; most of the time, the other person follows suit. [7:32] The stories and meaning that we create for our lives.

Key Takeaways:

Your current identity does not have to be permanent. You are allowed to become someone new and create a new identity of yourself if the old one no longer serves you. Your spouse, loved ones, and friends may carry the identity you have created with you and tell your story even if it doesn’t serve you any longer. Breathe in your new identity and move towards the next version of yourself, then share that with those close to you so they can also communicate the next version of you. Listening and understanding do not require responding. Learning to be intentional in listening and hearing what someone else is telling you is sometimes all that is needed. Knowing where they are coming from and not feeling the need to agree or disagree is a skill that can take you far in life.

Quotes:

“If we can remind ourselves that all we need to really do is understand the other person. So we could actually enter into a conversation with the commitment to listen so intently that we understand their point of view.” - Tracy Pleschourt

“It requires you to give up that story, that belief that you have about that person, and really just take under consideration, what if that story is wrong, what if that isn't even inaccurate. Just allow yourself to take that in for a moment; it opens up the door for so many possibilities.” - Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Resources:

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Saddle Up Segment: Put Your Children First by Respecting your Co-Parent During Divorce

Thu, 28 Jul 2022 07:00:57 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Brian’s advice is to say something kind and supportive about your co-parent to your kids. Show your kids that you respect the other parent. Do not transfer your feelings onto your kids no matter how negative they may be. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

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Divorce From a Man's Perspective with Marriage and Family Therapist Brian Burns

Tue, 26 Jul 2022 07:00:29 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Brian Burns, a certified mediator and parenting coach, to discuss divorce from a father's perspective. During this conversation, we discuss how men play a more active role in parenting post-divorce and the feelings and shifts experienced. Brian also discusses the steps fathers can take to build momentum to be a more hands-on parent. Tune in to today’s episode to gain insight from a new perspective so you can do divorce differently.

In this episode:

[2:19] How dads get more involved with parenting post-divorce. [3:40] Advice for men who are feeling overwhelmed with single parenting. [6:10] Is there a difference between men and women when feeling your feelings? [9:45] Men are facing judgment and validation throughout a divorce. [15:04] Actions fathers can take to start moving forward with momentum to be a more hands-on parent.

Key Takeaways:

Modern parents too often look to their children for validation. This is more exaggerated in a divorce where parents try to do better than the other parent. Men’s feelings are more wired towards stress and providing for a family. After divorce, they feel a lot of pressure to figure out their place. They may also experience fear around failing as a father after failing as a husband. Everyday living is essential when kids are with their dad. Many times dads try to be the “Disney Dad” or make all their time extra fun. Kids will thrive more on having a father figure who wants to get to know them and find out who they are.

Quotes:

“Men need to give themselves permission to feel the feelings, to grieve the losses, regardless of who chose the divorce. Frankly, statistically, if you are a man, you're more likely to be divorced than if you are a woman. Women are statistically asking for divorce more often than men.” Brian Burns

“Women are encouraged to talk about their feelings as little girls, and men are not; men are encouraged to achieve, to be tough, to be strong. To be strong is to be virtuous. To not have weakness is to have integrity.” Brian Burns

“Lean into the opportunity to be a more hands-on parent; you are worthy.” Brian Burns

Guest Bio:

Resources:

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Saddle Up Segment: Listening Through Divorce

Thu, 21 Jul 2022 07:00:58 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week, Lesa discusses the importance of being self-aware when you listen. Becoming aware of how you listen when someone is sharing can help move a difficult conversation in the right direction. Finally, when someone tells you how they are feeling, believe them, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Lesa Koski Blog

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6 Steps to Divorce Better and Co-Parent Well with Divorce Attorney Lesa Koski

Tue, 19 Jul 2022 07:00:23 -0400

On today’s episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski is sharing how she helps her clients navigate difficult conversations throughout the divorce process. Throughout her experience as a divorce attorney and mediator, Lesa has learned six impactful steps to help her clients feel heard, feel understood, and to find common ground. Whether you’re experiencing divorce or want to learn how to co-parent, tune in for insight into how Lesa helps her clients move successfully through the divorce process.

In this episode:

[01:45] Listen with the intention of understanding rather than reacting. [03:18] Build rapport and find common ground. [05:15] Invite explanation. [06:35] Invite collaboration. [08:20] Try to understand the other party’s reasoning. [09:09] Four tools that can be helpful when having difficult conversations. [11:25] How to access more tools and resources to do divorce differently. [13:30] Saddle Up Segment.

Key Takeaways:

Collaborative communication is when both parties have the space to share their thoughts and feelings and listen to each other. You can still have rapport with someone, even if they have different opinions than you. It feels good to be heard. If you are trying to persuade someone that is not driven by evidence, ask questions. You can even ask, “What will it take to change your mind?” and then work from there.

Quotes:

“Playing nice works much better than spewing your beliefs at someone.” Lesa Koski

“How do you criticize someone and still play nice? Sometimes you’re going to be critical and not like their idea.” Lesa Koski

“Some people are persuaded by evidence, and some by peer pressure.” Lesa Koski

Resources:

Lesa Koski Blog

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Claire Samuels Law Website

Saddle Up Segment: 5-5-5 Breath with Claire Samuels

Thu, 14 Jul 2022 07:00:44 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week, Claire discusses the power of pausing and practicing mindful breathing instead of always thinking about the next thing and to-do list. Taking a quick moment to do a 5-5-5 breath (5 seconds of inhaling, 5 seconds holding your breath, and 5 seconds of exhaling) benefits your brain by getting more oxygen to it and can make a big difference in your day. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Claire Samuels Law Facebook

Claire Samuels Law LinkedIn

Claire Samuels Law Instagram

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Becoming Divorce with Claire Samuels

Tue, 12 Jul 2022 07:00:11 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Claire Samuels, an attorney with a background in family law and divorce mediation. Claire talks to us about how she approaches divorce and mediation through the attitude of “Becoming Divorce” with her clients. She shares with us the fantastic curated community of expert services she provides to her clients, which helps give them all the contacts they may need or want while going through the divorce process. Tune in as we hear about how she provides clients with the support they need to use divorce as a transformation and a catalyst to living their best life.

In this episode:

[1:08] How did Claire come to do her work, and what led her there? [2:43] When Claire started her career, did it look like what it looks like today? [3:55] What does “Becoming Divorce” mean? [5:15] What are the differences between a litigator, mediations, and collaborative law? [11:52] How does Claire work through mediations? [15:05] How Claire turned her love of connecting people into a curated community of expert services for her clients.

Key Takeaways:

Divorce can create an opportunity that is a springboard to transform you into your next best life. Shifting the focus during a divorce to a future-focused lens can significantly affect how you see and approach divorce. Understanding all the services available to you before and after divorce can allow you to feel empowered for what’s ahead. Thinking about what you want around your finances, health, home, and every other area of your life is a great place to focus your mind vs. on all the things that can go wrong during a divorce.

Quotes:

“At a very young age, I knew there had to be a way to do this in a way that preserved what was going to be, not left of a family, what this new redefined family would look like. To try and minimize the trauma, not just for the people going through the divorce, what all the collateral damage seen in an extended family, whether there are children or not.” - Claire Samuels

“Collaborative divorce really means ‘We're going to take the approach that we are in the best position to make decisions for our family’. And it is a commitment with a signed agreement that you will do all things outside of a courtroom.” - Claire Samuels

“Becoming Divorce is a view of how can divorce be an opportunity, how it can be a springboard to transform you to your next best life.” - Lesa Koski

“I love the idea of ‘becoming’ and what it means, and I love the idea of it being an opportunity and a springboard.” - Lesa Koski

Guest Bio:

Claire has made it her mission to refine the divorce experience. She believes divorce offers clients a transformative opportunity to design a positive future for themselves, complete with financial and emotional security. To this end, she provides her clients with the tools necessary to help them construct a solid foundation on which to build their new life.

Resources:

Claire Samuels Law Facebook

Claire Samuels Law LinkedIn

Claire Samuels Law Instagram

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How Do You Do Divorce Differently?

Thu, 07 Jul 2022 07:00:55 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. In this episode, we hear from four different professionals on their tips for doing divorce differently. The overall thoughts are to not get stuck in this chapter of your life and find gratitude in the new life and opportunities that are opening up for you. You are in control of your emotions, you get to choose how you approach to divorce. The option is there to feel neutral or in control of divorce. How will this next chapter enrich your life? Lastly, find a mediator who will help you feel confident, comfortable, and knowledgeable as you go through the divorce. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources:

Stephanie Raffelock’s Website

Stephanie Raffelock’s Instagram

Stephanie Raffelock’s Facebook

A Delightful Little Book on Aging - Book by Stephanie Raffelock

Creatrix Rising - Book by Stephanie Raffelock

Joseph Willmore LinkedIn

Joseph Willmore Instagram

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Ten Minutes with Tracy: Parenting Through Divorce with Self Made U Founder Tracy Pleschourt

Tue, 05 Jul 2022 07:00:42 -0400

We are introducing Tuesdays with Tracy! This segment will happen on the first Tuesday of every month. We will discuss a topic from the last month and hone in on it. Today we discuss inadequacy through a divorce and parents' struggles during this difficult time. Tracy talks about the importance of becoming aware of your feelings and knowing that you are in charge of your feelings. Ask yourself the question, “why am I feeling this way” and you’ll receive the answer with the thoughts running in your mind's background. Tune in next month as we dive into how our thoughts serve us. We hope you enjoy this new element of the show!

In this episode:

[4:24] What are you thinking that is giving you the feeling of inadequacy? [6:30] Issues that come from not prioritizing yourself during divorce. [8:14] Steps for what to do when feeling inadequate.

Key Takeaways:

You are in charge of your thoughts, and if you do the work to dig into what is coming up, you’ll be able to change those thoughts to be more positive. Dive into how you are showing up in your life, and show yourself that you are not inadequate during the divorce. Prioritize your self-care so that you can be the best version of yourself through everything that arises in life.

Quotes:

“The actions, the list, the script that we’ve always been offered has gotten us where we are at right now. If you are looking at something different from your life, or a particular circumstance, it has everything to do with the way you are thinking, not the actions.” Tracy Pleschourt

“How do you show up in your personal life, how do you show up in your family life, how do you show up to care for yourself? I want you to be comprehensive because I want you to clearly see how those feelings are driving so much more than you could ever guess.” Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio:

Resources:

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Saddle Up Segment: How to Deal with Judgments During Conflict

Thu, 30 Jun 2022 07:00:43 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Max discussed tips to use with judgments, as they are the source of all violence and are so prevalent when living with someone. He says instead of judging someone, say “I know this is a judgment and so not true about you, but I keep telling myself you are a ____”. This gives the opportunity to talk about the difference without the slap. Max also talked about how the need behind the judgment is almost always the opposite of the content of the judgment. The judgment comes from the need not being met. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Max Rivers Website

Loving Conflict Book

Lesa Koski We b site

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Marriage Mediation with Max Rivers

Tue, 28 Jun 2022 07:00:05 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Max Rivers, marriage mediator and author of Loving Conflict. Max’s practice focuses on nonviolent communication and helping couples hear what the other truly desires. Max talks about his teamwork method and getting to the root of couples' fights. We talk quite a bit about judgments and differences that couples run into and how to tackle those in a way that respects both sides. Max says that judgment is a tragic expression of your own unmet needs. Tune in today to hear tips on how to identify your needs, how to communicate what your heart needs, how to listen to your partner, and how to accept that difference.

In this episode:

[1:02] Introduction to Max Rivers - Why did he start doing marital mediation? [5:40] How is marriage mediation different from therapy and divorce mediation? [8:25] The “Teamwork Method”. [13:55] How Max works with people who communicate through name-calling and blaming? [16:45] How does Max handle when people start throwing out money, support, or revenge? [21:25] What are the roles of mother and father, and how can you co-create your life around children?

Key Takeaways:

Max’s process is: how to identify your needs, how to communicate what your heart needs, how do you listen to your partner's needs without judging, and in fact, accepting and loving that difference, mediation. Relationships are a “Both-And, not an Either-Or.” A relationship is about the difference. The difference is not going away; the difference is what you need and what you are looking for when getting into a relationship. Judgments are really just a person's way of expressing a need of theirs that is not getting met. Instead of nitpicking around little fights, look at the root cause of where the judgment is coming from and work from there.

Quotes:

“My process is about teaching couples to identify what it is they need but are not getting, how to communicate that in a way that sounds like they are inviting their partner to the beauty of their desires, and listening to their partner's needs with excited curiosity so that both sets of needs are on the table, and then comes the mediation.”

“My job is to point out their differences and mediate how they can accept, not just tolerate, but benefit from this difference.”

Guest Bio:

Max Rivers pioneered the idea of using mediation to SAVE marriages instead of ending them in a process he called "marriage mediation." He then developed a six-session process to help couples learn how to use an embodied form of NVC, Nonviolent Communication, to navigate their own difficult conversations. He is available at his office in Philadelphia or worldwide over video conferencing. He is the author of a book about his work with couples entitled, “Loving Conflict” available at Amazon.com.

Resources:

Max Rivers Website

Loving Conflict Book

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Saddle Up Segment: Parenting Well Through Divorce with Attorney Joseph Willmore

Thu, 23 Jun 2022 07:00:12 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. Joseph discusses the importance of co-parenting. He talks about how parents should shift to view each other as business partners who are working together to raise thriving children (child) and great members of society. Respect that each parent is doing what they think is best for the kids. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Call: 619-550-6738

Willmore Law Firm

Joseph Willmore LinkedIn

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How Will I Divorce with Attorney Joseph Willmore

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 07:00:31 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Joseph Willmore, a Family Law Attorney in Southern California. Joseph discusses how family law is run in California and how he works with his clients to make sure they feel prepared and represented during the difficult time of divorce. We discuss quite a bit about co-parenting and how to shift the focus from emotions to what’s best for the children. Tune in to learn more about Joseph’s services and the advice we give to work towards a smooth divorce.

In this episode:

[00:34] Introduction to Joseph Willmore. [4:26] Joseph explains what his cases typically look like. [8:50] Should each party be represented individually? [12:30] We talk about clients and parenting, parenting plans, and child support. [20:30] Talking about where Joseph offers his services and how to find him.

Key Takeaways:

Each state has different guidelines around divorces and property. It is beneficial to both parties in California to agree on dividing assets if someone is attached to something vs. going to court where the judge will divide all asset amounts down the middle and request sale of assets for equal division. Children will thrive much better in two happy households than in a house full of arguing and unhappiness. Parents need to set their emotional interests aside and focus on the children to ensure they thrive in life.

Quotes:

“When parents enter this situation that they’ve never been in before, they don’t think about all these situations that come up, and these can be simple issues such as holidays, exchange locations for children, what vaccines you want, what doctor you want them to see, etc.”

“We need a parenting schedule that will give them a stable routine, make sure they are able to get to school, and make sure they are able to function.”

Guest Bio:

Attorney Joseph Willmore was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. Joseph completed his undergraduate degree in Communication at Arizona State University. Joseph attended law school at Thomas Jefferson School of Law. Because of his outstanding academic performance, Joseph was invited onto the Thomas Jefferson Law Review, where he served as an Editor for the remainder of law school. Joseph studied law abroad in both France and China, where he gained valuable insight into international law, alternative dispute resolution, and mediation. Joseph is a talented and confident public speaker, and further honed substantial trial advocacy skills. Importantly, Joseph is personable and caring, and his diverse background of life experiences and public service make him a very enjoyable attorney to work with.

Resources:

Call: 619-550-6738

Willmore Law Firm

Joseph Willmore LinkedIn

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Saddle Up Segment: Tell Your Story and Reveal Your Heart

Thu, 16 Jun 2022 07:00:33 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. We asked Stepanie what her opinion is to get someone on a road to a better place during and after divorce. She suggests getting yourself a blank journal and reading a book that inspires you. Tell your story and reveal your heart to yourself. She suggests two books to get you started, “The Artist's Way” by Julia Cameron and “Writing Down the Bones” by Natalie Goldberg. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Stephanie Raffelock’s Instagram

Stephanie Raffelock’s Facebook

A Delightful Little Book on Aging - by Stephanie Raffelock

Creatrix Rising - by Stephanie Raffelock

The Artist’s Way - By Julia Cameron

Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within - by Natalie Goldberg

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Stephanie Rafflock's Website

Awakening Through Divorce with Stephanie Raffelock

Tue, 14 Jun 2022 07:00:14 -0400

In today’s episode, we are joined by Stephanie Raffelock, an author on aging well and the creative surge that begins in midlife. Stephanie discusses the awakenings and transformation that come with getting older. We discuss what aging looks like in today’s society, where we live in a culture that values youth and beauty. We discuss how re-imagining and awakening go hand in hand with divorce. Stephanie talks about how thinking of doing divorce with an attitude of ‘what's in the next chapter?’ will enrich life in ways that couldn’t be done before. We close the episode by discussing how all women should tell their stories and how self-knowledge reveals all things. Tune in to learn how to embrace aging, divorce, and how going through something hard in life can change life for the better with some curiosity and gratitude.

In this episode:

[1:55] What led Stephanie to write books about aging. [4:40] Stephanie discusses how health & vitality are sexy and what opens up for us as we age. [5:55] She discusses the third act of one's life and how rewarding it is. [6:30] Stephanie talks about how her book and thinking can be applied to someone going through a divorce or a life-changing shift. [10:15] Why are people so afraid to age? [12:00] Stephanie's thoughts on empowerment and courage. [14:12] As we get older, how do we fit into this youth-oriented culture? [16:54] Journaling and how/why each woman’s story is important.

Key Takeaways:

Aging is absolutely beautiful, it's the third chapter in life, and this final chapter is where all the incredible transformations happen.
Divorce (and other complicated things in life) are an opportunity to restructure your life and awaken to the things you can do now that you were afraid to do while you were married. It’s a second chance at life and creating who you are.
Use curiosity and gratitude to get through divorce. Have gratitude that you made it this far; you made it through the difficult situation, which means you can make it through anything! What can you learn and see with new eyes?

Quotes:

“Empowerment is really something that grows up from the center, from the gut, of the woman, I believe, and it's something that needs to be claimed, examined, and understood as not a polite and pretty process but a powerful process.”

“When you are healthy, there is a sexiness to it because there is a vitality to it, there's juice to it.”

Guest Bio:

Stephanie Raffelock is the author of Creatrix Rising, Unlocking the Power of Midlife Women. (She Writes Press in August, 2021). She also penned the award-winning, bestseller, A Delightful Little Book on Aging. A graduate of Naropa University’s program in Writing and Poetics, Stephanie was a contributor to The Rogue Valley Messenger, in Oregon. She’s blogged for Nexus Magazine, Omaha Lifestyles, Care2.com as well as SixtyandMe.com. A former i-Heart Radio host, she is now a popular guest on podcasts, where she inspires women to embrace the strength and passion of their personal story.

Resources:

Stephanie Raffelock's Instagram

Stephanie Raffelock's Facebook

Stephanie Raffelock's Books

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Saddle Up Segment: Prioritizing Yourself Through Divorce

Thu, 09 Jun 2022 07:00:55 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. We asked Shannon what her best tip is for taking a positive step forward that can be done today. She discusses intentionality, and how to move yourself forward. Divorce can be so demanding and chaotic, so deciding what you want to do today and being in touch with yourself as well as prioritizing yourself can allow some calmness to enter your life. Even if it’s something small, take an intentional step forward. Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

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Empowerment Through Divorce

Tue, 07 Jun 2022 07:00:40 -0400

In today’s episode, divorce and empowering life coach Shannon McGorry joins us to discuss how to change your mindset and take control in the chaos of divorce. Shannon discusses her three-step program to help women re-focus on themselves and take back control of their life amidst the challenges that come with divorce. She provides some excellent tips on how to work through triggers while in the thick of divorce and mediation. Tune in to get some amazing mindset tips to help you get through the tough choices, decisions, thoughts, and conversations that will arise during this phase of life.

In this episode:

[1:04] Introduction to Shannon McGorry, Divorce and Empowerment Coach. [3:50] How to find a way to work through the divorce. [5:40] Re-learning your identity, as well as uncovering what your needs and values are. [8:20] What is needed in life to feel the peace and value of freedom. [9:25] How to find accountability to uphold habits and what changes need to be made to honor your values. [10:10] What to do when you are in the middle of a divorce, tips on how to handle triggers.

Key Takeaways:

Uncovering your values while going through divorce can help you to harness who you are and who you want to become. Oftentimes our values are dishonored and trampled on during times of divorce with all the unknown, which can cause a lot of unease throughout this difficult time. Learning who you are at your core, what habits you need to put in place, and learning to feel peace in your life are very important ways to stay focused on moving yourself forward. Divorce does not have to define you, instead it can open up a way to uncover who you truly are.

Quotes:

“Divorce brings with it so many choices and decisions and thoughts and feelings and conversations and it can get the best of us in a New York minute so I really like to help clients to harness their mindset.” - Shannon McGorry

“Divorce cuts through the layers, and really exposes us again, we’re left standing not really sure of who that person is.” - Shannon McGorry

Guest Bio:

Shannon McGorry is a women’s empowerment coach and speaker. Having lived firsthand through the question of "What's Next?!" and the indescribable experience of divorce, she now helps other women walk their own road of redefinition, holding them accountable to their future. Certified as a Professional Coach through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching and a graduate of I Heart Coaching, Shannon’s powerful coaching skills lead women toward lives of purpose, fulfillment, and joy!

Resources:

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Saddle Up Segment: Gift Yourself 10 Minutes to Identify Negative Core Beliefs

Thu, 02 Jun 2022 07:00:17 -0400

Saddle Up Segments are bite-size, bonus episodes offering one thing that our listeners can do right away to add value to their life. This week, Tracy Pleschourt asks listeners to set aside 10 minutes to identify their negative root beliefs that they have never considered to be untrue, and beliefs that they have identified themselves with.

This may take you back 10, 20, or 30 years.

Ask yourself, what beliefs have I carried forward throughout my life that I might just be operating from today? For example, Is it true that I am broken just because my parents divorced back in 1981? In what ways is that not true?

These are two compelling questions to ask yourself. Tracy warns us that it might be painful, but you're capable of feeling any emotion, including sadness. This includes the fear that you as a human being are capable of fearing feeling those emotions. Give yourself permission to heal.

Like what you're hearing? Be sure to check out the full-length episodes; new releases every Tuesday.

Resources

Website: https://www.self-madeu.com/

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Healing Childhood Divorce

Tue, 31 May 2022 10:00:13 -0400

Today we are joined by the Founder of Self-Made U, Tracy Pleschourt. Tracy is a life coach who helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness. Tracy is also a child of divorce, a fact that defined her self worth for years. Tune in to learn how Tracy became a watcher of her thoughts, overcame her negative root beliefs, and why divorce is no longer a part of her identity.

In this episode:

[02:07] Being a child of divorce does not have to be a part of your identity.
[05:16] Tracy shares how her parent’s divorce impacted her childhood and self worth.
[10:15] How our root beliefs affect almost every circumstance in our everyday lives.
[14:29] How can we unlearn our negative root beliefs?
[15:00] What is the difference between a primitive brain in action and a prodigy brain in action?
[20:29] One thing you can do right away to add value to your life.

Key Takeaways:

Now in 2022, there are so many communities, support systems, and resources for families going through divorce.
We all have a part of our brain that is very primitive. It’s very reactive because it’s meant to keep us safe. We also have a more evolved section of our brain called the prodigy section. It actively analyzes data to help us make decisions and ask questions.
Identifying your negative root beliefs is the first step to unlearning them.

Quotes:

“Our brains will jump onto that dramatic bandwagon, if we are only making our decisions or creating beliefs from drama, it’s just going to perpetuate like a snowball rolling down a hill.” Tracy Pleschourt

“You are a watcher of your thoughts.” Tracy Pleschourt

Guest Bio: Tracy Pleschourt Life and Wellness Coach

Tracy Tracy Pleschourt, the Founder of Self-Made U helps men and women create Self-Made wealth and wellness through life coaching. Tracy has mastered and now teaches the critical skills necessary to manage your mind and overcome any obstacle, including overeating, over drinking, time management, career & relationship changes.

Just a few years ago, Tracy was a successful advertising executive. Stifled by the rigorous, time-consuming demands of the corporate world, she traded in her 20 years of advertising to pursue her real passion: life & weight loss coaching.

Resources:

Self-Made-U Website

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Parenting through Divorce, a Childs Perspective with Bella Duncan

Tue, 24 May 2022 08:10:03 -0400

This episode is for children of divorce and their parent's. Bella Duncan is a delightful 23 year old who comes to us all the way from Australia. Her parents divorced when she was just 3 years old. She now shares her insights through blogging on her webiste: A Kid with Two Homes. Today we focus on one specific blog about Decision-making. Think about all the decisions kids of divorce must make. We can view it as an opportunity to better prepare them for their futures by doing it right. Here are Bella's tips from her blog:

Decision Making Tips

1. Determine what you want

To make a good decision, you need to be aware of what you want.

This is irrespective of what others may want.

2. Find a balance

Identifying what you want is step number one, now it’s time to find a balance between what you want and what you need.

What does this mean? Well, from previous blogs, we know that it is important to maintain a relationship with your parents, however, not at the cost of your own happiness.

3. Communicate your decision-making process

As with everything, Communication! Is! Key!

Why? Because you are not alone, and people want to help you with challenging decisions!

Motivated by putting her words into actions, Bella is an empowered kid of divorce who is determined to make change for the better. Currently 23, Bella has recently completed a Bachelor of Laws and a Bachelor of Psychology. Bella has gone between two homes since her parents divorced at age 3. Growing up in two homes, she experienced firsthand many of the issues children of divorce face. As a young adult she was inspired to provide a helpful resource to help kids of divorce feel seen, heard and less alone. Find Bella here:

Meet our Host:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation. Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

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Divorce Mediation or Marriage Mediation with attorney Dawn Clements

Tue, 17 May 2022 08:07:30 -0400

Marital Mediation is on the rise and todays guest is an expert in this field. As you know Court does not have to be the answer. Marriage Mediation like divorce mediation has conflict resolution at its core. Most divorcing clients are arguing about: 1. Finances. 2. Parenting. 3. Communication. 4. Division of labor. As Attorneys turned Mediators we help you understand your positions, interests, needs and a resolution. We are not therapists. They are important too. Rather than looking in the rearview mirror Attorney Mediators help you look straight ahead and find conflict resolution for your future; whether you stay married or divorce.

Dawn Clement is a Pennsylvania Family Law Mediator & Attorney, Conflict Resolution Specialist, and Adjunct Professor at West Chester University. Dawn has been practicing for almost 18 years and is focused on helping couples resolve conflict. As a former litigator, it became clear to Dawn that families do not belong in court! Soon after starting a family of her own, she began to explore better ways to guide couples through the family law process without going to war. She now helps couples avoid costly court battles by resolving cases amicably using the mediation process.

Find Dawn:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation. Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Betrayal and Marriage with Dr. Debi Silber

Tue, 10 May 2022 08:06:24 -0400

Betrayal is a different type of trauma for two reasons: 1. It feels intentional, it is rejection which is different than if you lose someone you love. 2. There are a collection of symptoms (physical and mental) and time does not heal them. Today Dr Debi Silber the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute a holistic psychologist and author shares her insight into betrayal. And there is a lot. During her recent PHD study she learned the 5 stages of betrayal.

1. Set up stage where you ignore your feelings.

2. Shock and trauma-your world view is shattered.

3. Survival instincts emerge. This is the place where most people get stuck. In this stage people do not trust anyone, or they think maybe they deserved it. This stage can last for years and often people can call more distrustful relationships into their lives.

4. Finding and adjusting to a new normal. If friends and loved ones don't rise they don't come with you.

5. This is where the healing is with a re-birth, self love, mind healing and a new world view.

The questions you can ask yourself if you are feeling stuck in number 3 are: am I numbing or avoiding feelings if so how? What am I pretending to see, what will my life look like in 5 years if I do nothing? What can life look like if I change?

If you have been betrayed you need to rebuild self trust in your truth. If you chose to trust the betrayer again It is up to the betrayer to build that trust brick by brick.

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of: The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck and Create a Life You Love. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she’s an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.

Find Dr. Debi here:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation. Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Free Divorce Tools with guest Divorce Journalist Ilyssa Panitz

Tue, 03 May 2022 07:43:55 -0400

Survive and thrive through your divorce. Today’s guest, Ilyssa Panitz the red carpet journalist who became the only Divorce Journalist/Columnist committed to helping others navigate this major life transition: covering every angle and exploring every topic when it comes to a divorce.

Today's episode contains a wealth of information available to you as you walk through the divorce process. “Let me be your waze…I will get you there.” Ilyssa Panitz. The first and most important step is to do your homework. Learn what you have, what you owe and make a list. Sometimes you can learn a lot just by checking your mail. As you know, knowledge is power. This power can bring you some peace when you are going through a difficult divorce. You can find all things divorce in Ilyssa's articles. Ilyssa writes a daily column entitled “5 Things You Need to Know How to Survive and Thrive During & After A Divorce” for Authority Magazine on Medium.

She also serves as the Content/Editorial Producer for The National Association of Divorce Professionals, as well as a Co-Host of “All Things Divorce” on Clubhouse.

In July 2021, Ilyssa began reaching an even wider audience through her role as creator and host of a national radio show called, “The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz” that airs weekly on CRN Digital Talk Radio.

Ilyssa’s prior experience as a Reporter/Producer for leading media outlets has afforded her a seamless segue into the world of divorce reporting. Over the course of her extensive career, Ilyssa has worked at such communications icons as CNN, MSNBC, 1010 WINS Radio (NY), WCBS-AM, New York-1 News, Westwood One, Star Magazine, Closer Magazine, and Meredith Publishing. Among the major news events that she has covered are The Tony Awards, The MTV Movie Awards, the Television Network Upfronts, the 2012 Summer Olympic Games in London, The September 11th Terrorist Attacks, The NBA Finals, and the 1994/1995 Major League Baseball Strike.

Find Ilysa here:

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation. Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

Mentioned in this episode:

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The ins and outs of Alimony with Minnesota attorney Michelle Kniess

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 09:08:23 -0400

Today attorney Michelle Kniess shares her knowledge of Spousal Maintenance/ Alimony in Minnesota and Wisconsin on Doing Divorce Different. Whether you are working together with your spouse through the mediation process (or needing an attorney to advise) Spousal Maintenance is an important issue in many divorces. Michelle says when clients come to her to learn about spousal maintenance they need to review and decide the amount, the duration and whether or not it is modifiable.

Each Spousal Maintenance situation is very unique. There are many factors in determining spousal maintenance. Some of them are: the length of the marriage, the earning capacity, and the standard of living during the marriage. Courts always want the person receiving maintenance to help themselves to the extent they can when support is an issue. Michelle stated it beautifully when she talked about what your plan was during your marriage. Was one party planning to stay home more with the children while the other built their career. All of these factors affect how Spousal Maintenance is determined.

The bottom line, it is based on the need of one party and the resources of the paying party. When I work through mediations with clients we begin with each parties budget and what they think their future budget will be. Then we look at what each parties net income is. Once we have this we have a better understanding of what one party needs and what the other can afford.

Michelle Kniess devotes her entire practice to family law in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Her practice focuses on divorce, custody and parenting time, spousal maintenance, child support, and property valuation and division, including business interests. Michelle practiced as a business litigation attorney prior to pursuing a career in family law. She owned and managed a boutique family law practice for nearly nine years prior to joining Hellmuth & Johnson. Michelle brings many years of experience and a vast knowledge of family law, in both Minnesota and Wisconsin, to Hellmuth & Johnson.

Michelle received her Juris Doctor from the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 2005 and her Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse in 2002. Find Michelle at:

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Divorce Dating and your Children with Divorce over 40's Daniel Herrold on Doing Divorce Different with host Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski # 44

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 08:00:00 -0400

Are you Divorced, over 40 and thinking about dating. Daniel Herrold the Divorced Dad walks us through how he navigated dating and divorce with teens. Daniel shares his authentic story and some feelings of shame about how he handled dating when his marriage ended. In this episode he shares what he would have done different and what he did right. This delightful conversation begins with answering when should I start dating? Daniels heartfelt response is not before the decree is signed. He urges people to heal themselves first, hire a therapist, get comfortable with your new parenting situation; and when you feel complete on your own you are ready to begin dating.

He feels very positive about how he introduced his girlfriend to his children. He never talked to his kids about dating or introduced them to anyone until they were ready. How did he know he was ready? His kids initiated it. They were curious and Daniel was always honest. When they asked to meet her and Daniel felt it was a committed relationship everyone was prepared. He adds that each situation is different. Some kids may be extremely upset and you may need a different plan in place.

Daniel has strong feelings about dating apps. He brought a new perspective to me. You know how above we talked about wait to date until you feel complete. Well a lot of the people over 40 on dating apps are not healed yet. They jump into dating as a wounded individual and that is not going to lead to any successful connections. Daniel says when you are ready, put all your lines in. Network with good friends. Remember the hobbies you love and do them. "Put yourself out there!"

Daniel began Divorced Over 40 with conversations among a few new friends.

Over small dinners and happy hours during the summer of 2020, six 40-somethings in Tulsa realized one striking common denominator: their midlife, post-divorce status. Messy, raw, friendly,

acrimonious, you name it – our experiences with divorce and our ex were varied, but all of

them sang from the same sheet of music: divorce midlife is not for the faint of heart.

Themes began to emerge such as the importance of friendship, managing a new set of

finances, self care and healing, successful co-parenting and, of course, dating. Find Daniel here:

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation. Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

Mentioned in this episode:

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A Divorce Coach in Your Back Pocket with Jennifer Warren Medwin

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 10:00:00 -0400

Happiness is an inside job. In this episode Jen Medwin coaches us to empowerment through divorce and beyond. Jen uses mnemonics (easy to remember words and phrases/I am sharing because I had to look it up) in her new book Strategies and Tips from a Divorce Coach. It is like having a divorce coach in your back pocket. She urges people going through divorce to pause and be aware or how you are feeling. Here is just one example of her mnemonics: E + R= O. The Event + how you React = the Outcome. You have control over how you react. Make sure to take a breath, pause and become aware of how you manage conflict. Jen is a huge proponent of moving forward and she has a lot of teaching on empowerment. Jen schooled me on how some of my words could be more empowering. And when I used words like I chose to believe rather than I have to believe my whole mindset changed.

Meet our guest: Jennifer Warren Medwin, MS is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach. Supreme Court of Florida Family Mediator. Her private practice is called Seeking Empowerment. Jennifer works alongside couples who are contemplating divorce and are fearful of high conflict and with those who have hope to save their marriages. Find her at:

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation. Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

Mentioned in this episode:

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How can I Help my Children Through a Divorce with Guest Author and Mediator Despina Mavridou and Host Attorney Turned Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #42

Tue, 05 Apr 2022 09:00:00 -0400

Helping your kids through divorce is paramount to divorcing parents. Author Despina Mavridou knows first hand. Growing up in Greece, she was the child of a tumultuous divorce. She shares her story of being alienated from her father for almost 29 years. Despina's book, Mum, Dad Can you Hear Me? Addresses all the feelings she had going through divorce as a child. She is passionate about sharing this information because she was afraid to speak her feelings as a child of divorce. Her book is a way to give children going through a divorce a voice. The book is an amazing resource for parents and children.

Find Despina Mavridou at:

All Despina's Books

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation. Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Starting Over Helping Single Parents get on their feet with guest Meghan Wick and host Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #41

Tue, 29 Mar 2022 09:00:00 -0400

Feeling blessed to have this breath of fresh air on Doing Divorce Different today. You know how much I love supporting people who have been through difficult times and want to help others through them. Meghan Wick is doing just this and in such a unique way. Listen up to learn how she can, "help single moms/dads get on their feet again and give them something that could remind them of their resilience and courage." How you make ask? Through styling and photography.

Find Meghan at:

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation. Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

Mentioned in this episode:

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How to Start my Divorce? With Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different Bonus #40

Thu, 24 Mar 2022 10:00:00 -0400

This is the nuts and bolts of what you need to begin your Divorce Mediation process. Yes, the paperwork. Here it is in a nutshell:

Taxes
Pay stubs
Retirement Plan Statements
Health and Dental coverage information
Stock information and values
Property deeds
Life Insurance Paperwork
Bank Account information
Debts
Budgets

If you begin pulling all of this information together you are off to a good start. Budgets are difficult; they are so important. It gives you a leg up to know how much you need to survive and thrive after the divorce. It will also better prepare you in your negotiations.

And don't forget to outline what your values are. Mediation is a bit of a compromise so if you know what you are willing to bend on (and what you are not)- before you actually sit down to mediate - you are better able to leverage your true needs.

If you need Divorce Support, or know someone who does, please contact me. I am here and I want to help.

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Emotionally Preparing for your Divorce with Tracy Pleschourt and host attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #39

Tue, 22 Mar 2022 11:00:00 -0400

Emotionally preparing for divorce is essential to a successful mediation. Host Lesa Koski is on a mission to help people prepare emotionally as well as logistically. Todays episode shares an amazing Yoga inspired body connection with Coach Tracy Pleschourt (Founder of Self Made U and Lesa Koski's personal coach). Feelings run rampant during divorce. That being said, You still need an amazing divorce plan that will set you in the right direction for the rest of your life. By utilizing this process you will be in control of your mind even during these volatile moments.

Tracy's website

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation. In truth, Lesa Koski Mediates wherever she shows up. She is fully equipped with the communication skills that bring a taste of peace to the nastiest discrepancies.

Lesa's mission is to offer compassionate, complete, competent services while maker her life such that it blesses humankind. This mission is palpable when you shake Lesa's hand. Clients love working with Lesa because she is trustworthy and capable. Above all, Lesa Koski is a brilliant communicator, bar none.

Website: lesakoski.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Can I Afford a Divorce with Guest Dare to Change Live's Millin Livis and host attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #38

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 09:00:00 -0400

Don't let finances keep you in a bad marriage. Learn how to become Financially independent from Millen Livis. You may just want to listen to hear Millen's beautiful french accents. Millen escaped from Lithuania 30 years ago, while it was under Soviet rule, with her young daughter and husband. Finding herself in a strange country, not knowing the language and divorced was terrifying for Millen. She pulled herself up from the depths of despair and now wants to help others through difficult financial situations. She is living a life she loves by: helping people through difficult times, re-married to a wonderful frenchman (sharing her time between Florida and the South of France) and turning her mess into a message.

Millen explains that financial freedom means different things to different people and you need to discover your own core values. Millen also talks about how to have a wealth mindset. My favorite quote from this episode, "Whatever dream you have; there is a better life after divorce."

MILLEN LIVIS is International Holistic Financial Independence mentor, best-selling author, investor, and entrepreneur.

Graduate of the acclaimed Wharton Business School, holder of a Master’s Degree in Physics, certified NLP practitioner, and certified Instant Miracle energy healer, Millen combines her traditional and holistic education to help women elevate their financial intelligence so that they become Financially Independent (or retire early) faster, and enjoy more freedom in their lives without having to worry about money.

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

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How do I Survive Divorce with Journey Beyond Divorce Founder Karen McMahon and host attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #37

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 11:00:00 -0400

How do you survive and even thrive through a tumultuous divorce? You will be surprised to learn that sometimes when you mend yourself you won't actually need to end your marriage. The guest on Doing Divorce Different this week was special; Karen McMahon Founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. Her insight comes first hand. When you hear her unique story, you will be amazed that she picked up from the ashes and created a beautiful life. Now she helps other people through the process.

One of my favorite moments was when Karen talked about mending yourself first and then making the decision if you should end the marriage or not. As we listen in this episode, we learn how sometimes if you heal yourself your marriage actually does not need to end. Karen's marriage did end and she emerged transforming her beautiful life.

Karen talks about sitting in your feelings even if they are hard to feel. As you know feelings will not kill us: and to heal we need to feel, process the feelings and then release them. She talks about staying present. People often circle back to the past or fear of the future; this sucks the energy better spent dealing with the moment.

When you are dealing with a high conflict person divorce can be extremely difficult. This is where Karen talks about mending yourself. You have no power over the other persons action; however you don't need to take the bait. You can train yourself to maintain awareness rather than defend yourself. She talks about stopping and asking yourself, “how important is this to me?” and then create space for yourself. Sometimes even just counting to 10, other times you table the conversation, take a walk etc.

It is always important to keep your kids out of the chaos (no matter what age). Karen's situation was very difficult because her soon to be ex was bad talking her to the kiddos. Karen talked about how she had to deal with the angry kids without throwing her husband under the bus; or dragging the kids into the issues surrounding the divorce. In the end she was able to establish compassion for her ex husband and that has made all the difference. I truly want all my clients to begin the healing journey, heal yourself: because I don't want you to be in this position again.

Karen founded Journey Beyond Divorce in 2010, after discovering that the pain of dissolving her marriage had been the very stimulus for her personal transformation.

"I’m the person I wish I had by my side throughout my divorce journey and I look forward to helping you along yours."

You can find Karen at:

Listen here

The book she mentioned was: Getting the Love you Want

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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How a Divorce Litigator and a Divorce Mediator Do Divorce Different; and yet Both are Gaining Momentum Toward Divorcing a Better Way with Attorney Jill Coil and Host Attorney Lesa Koski #36

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 13:37:41 -0400

If you are wondering if divorce mediation is right for you and you want to learn how to prepare for a divorce mediation, tune into this episode. Attorney Jill Coil, a high profile divorce litigator and Lesa Koski, a divorce mediator; sit down and discuss the realm of possibilities on how to do divorce different and better. Lesa coaches you through her 5 steps to get you to a better mindset for a successful mediation session. Jill gives you the nuts and bolts of what you need to know before you head into a divorce mediations session. First list your priorities in order. She prompts her clients to understand their finances and budget. Go into the session with an understanding of what you want, what you would settle for and what is your bottom line. She reiterates that if you come to an agreement and nobody feels like they won; you have had a successful divorce mediation session.

The conversation gets inspiring when the two discuss that there is no perfect way to divorce but there is a better way. Lesa Koski and Jill Coil are passionate about taking the shame out of divorce by doing divorce different. There is a palpable movement changing how couples uncouple. Lesa and Jill are on a mission to empower clients to have a better life after divorce.

Jill L. Coil, Esq., is a divorce attorney licensed in both Texas and Utah. She has created and grown one of the largest family law firms in the state of Utah. She is also a motivational speaker and is on a mission to ensure that people feel empowered in their own lives to understand their self-worth and then be able to empower others. Last year, she released her first book, No One Dies from Divorce: How to Survive and Thrive When Your Marriage Ends, and hosts a podcast with the same title. Follow Jill on instagram at @JillCoil

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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What if I Suspect my Spouse is Cheating on Doing Divorce Different with guest Brian Burns and host attorney Lesa Koski #35

Tue, 22 Feb 2022 11:00:00 -0400

What if I suspect my spouse is cheating. Sadly you are probably right, according to marriage and family therapist Brian Burns. Brain urges you to trust your gut and be particularly attentive if your spouse is putting up a good defense. If he or she is this demonstrates lack of empathy for your feelings and should be a warning sign. No one gets to tell you how to feel.

And remember it is scary to face the truth; but is is the path to finding meaning in your life. Brian urges to be brave and courageous. Love yourself enough to be respected by the other person - Expect your spouse to value how you are feeling and bring your concerns to the table.

Brian loves marriage and helps us examine why don't you have an affair.

Brian helps adults who are at a crisis point in their marriage gain clarity and confidence and move forward in planning for their family’s future in a way that is healthy and happy for the couple and their children. Find him here!

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Affairs Damage and Divorce on Doing Divorce Different with Marriage and Family Therapist Brian Burns and host attorney Lesa Koski #34

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 11:00:00 -0400

What constitutes an affair? This weeks guest on Doing Divorce Different Brian Burns defines it like this: "Behaviors or actions a reasonable spouse would feel uncomfortable with." Brian goes on to share that whether the affair is physical or emotional; both are equally difficult to heal from. In order to heal from an affair you need:

1. Both parties need to be willing to work to heal the marriage.

2. The offending party must take full accountability.

3. The hurt party needs to be open to forgive.

Brian also explains how the offending party can work to build trust again. This party has shook the foundation of the marriage and the old reality of a trusting relationship no longer exists. The offending party needs to be prepared to tell the hurt party what they are going to do to build trust again. Answering the hurt parties questions is a must. Brian explains what the right and wrong questions are. Another step the offending party can make is utilizing reassuring behavior, not forever but for a time. Maybe let the hurt spouse have access to your phone etc.

Often marriages can heal from affairs. Brian reminds us that transformation happens through crisis. If you are feeling alone and are trying to heal through this Brian recommends having at least 2 people you trust that you can talk to about it. Not people that help you spinout on victim mentality. But 2 strong souls to help you heal through this. He also states if you are having trouble eating or sleeping call your doctor. Let them help you through this difficult phase. It is part of the self care I always talk about...it is basic self care.

Books Brian mentioned are:

New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real

State of Affairs by Esther Perel

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Will I survive Divorce? Doing Divorce Different #33 with the Divorce Rehab's Wendy Sterling and host attorney Lesa Koski

Tue, 08 Feb 2022 12:25:54 -0400

Will I survive Divorce? The Divorce REHABs Wendy Sterling did and she is sharing her secrets in this episode! "I believe divorce can be the most empowering thing we go through to find our true identity and voice to start designing a life we chose instead of a feeling of being stuck on auto pilot." Wendy share's her REHAB acronym:

R Re-discover yourself.

E End the victim mentality.

H Healing all the wounds.

B build your life.

Listen in for her 3 tips on how to recover from divorce quicker. You can find Wendy at:

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Will Divorce Ruin my Child? Doing Divorce Different #32 with guest Mary Jeppsen PHD and host Attorney Lesa Koski

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 13:33:06 -0400

Co-Parenting your children mitigates the damage of divorce. Today Mary Jeppsen teaches us some of her tried and true tools to co-parent well. Mary has been a counselor for 15 years, primarily working with children, couples and families. Prior to becoming a licensed professional counselor, and earning a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision, she raised 11 children, so she has lots of family experience.

We begin by working through how do you address the fact that you are getting divorced with your kids. Mary advises to be specific with limited details. First approach your children together as a united front. We know this isn't easy but it is imperative that your kids hear the details from both of you together. Kids want to know they will have both of you in their lives after divorce. Most important make sure your kids feel safe. Tell your children how it is going work so they understand that you have everything under control. Mary is licensed in the States of Arkansas and Alabama, and is a Certified Daring Way™ facilitator ( with the work of Brene' Brown). She has worked with two non-profits with children and teens and owned a successful private counseling practice in Rogers, Arkansas for 7 years. In 2020, she and her husband started a new private counseling practice, Jeppsen Counseling, and they have been doing virtual counseling since. She now resides at Dauphin Island, Alabama with her husband, Mike , who is a counselor, and their youngest child, Serah , who has Down Syndrome. Mike and Mary offer private Marital Enrichment weekends now on Dauphin Island. In 2018 Mary published , "Working With Co-parents, a Manual for Therapists through Routledge Press" .

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Doing Divorce Different, Can you be happy through Divorce? With the Happy Hustler Cary Jack and host attorney Lesa Koski #31

Tue, 25 Jan 2022 11:00:00 -0400

You can be happy through your divorce! Or at the very least balanced! Join us as the Happy Hustler (Cary Jack) walks us through the 10 alignments and how you can get his book free! (when you pay for shipping). Doing Divorce Different was honored to welcome this top .5% podcaster to share his secret to blissful balance. Cary Jack was moved be a part of Doing Divorce Different. He is totally in to adding value to peoples lives; even those going through a rough spot. He also experienced a gut-wrenching divorce as a child. He hopes this episode can help even one parent make divorce a better experience for kids.

Cary Jack walks host Lesa Koski through the 10 alignments and has her rank her own blissful balance. Get a piece of paper and join along to get the most out of this episode. The 10 alignments or soul mappin are listed below:

1. Selfless Service

2. Optimize health

3. Unplug

4. Loving Relationship

5. Mindful spirituality (gratitude)

6. Abundance Financially

7. Personal Development

8. Passion/hobbies

9. Impactful work

10. Nature Connection

Cary Jack recommends that you focus on one at a time to achieve your blissful balance. Balancing our own selves can help us grow through divorce and help our kids have a better experience in the end. Cary Jack adds, when kids are involved keep your ego out and do what is best for them.

You can find Cary Jack and get his book on his website. Listen to the Happy Hustle podcast on most platforms!

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Doing Divorce Different #30 Making the Difficult Decision to Divorce w/ Kim Geiken and host attorney Lesa Koski

Tue, 18 Jan 2022 11:00:00 -0400

This episode makes sense of all the noise we have heard about how you know it is time to divorce. No one can help us more that guest Kim Geiken; who was a divorce mediation client and became a mediator. Join us as we discuss the three A's. Addiction, Abuse and Adultery, some say they lead to a sure fire path to divorce. Others say they are the only reason to divorce. We re-examine Brian Burns 4 step process: 1. Know yourself-Are you willing to change and grow to make the marriage work? 2. Check-in with your spouse, are they willing to change and grow to make the marriage work? 3. If it's new give yourself time (maybe 6 months) being your best self; taking care of your own lane - to re-evaluate. 4. Know you have done your best and follow your gut. We discuss that knowing you did your best and that you tried everything not only makes you feel good about your decision; it also helps you have tools that assist you in divorcing together better. Kim shares her story of growth and connection. And how this is fundamental to any partnership.

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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How Do I Know it is Time to Divorce w/ Marriage and Family Therapist Brian Burns and Host Attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #29

Tue, 11 Jan 2022 10:00:00 -0400

It is divorce month and everyone is wondering is it time to go...or do I want to stay? This episode is so so good. Brian shares all the information that can help you make the right decision. Brian helps listeners with a couple easy steps to a very difficult decision.

1. Know yourself. Work on yourself and look at whether or not you are willing to change and grow to make the marriage work.

2. Check in with your spouse, are they willing to work with you on the marriage.

3. If this is new give yourself 6 months being your best self, or taking care of your own lane and then re-evaluate.

4. Know you have done your best and follow your gut.

I always tell my clients, family and friends failure is not negative. It is neutral and it is the greatest learning tool we have. So go easy on yourself.

Brian helps adults who are at a crisis point in their marriage gain clarity and confidence and move forward in planning for their family’s future
in a way that is healthy and happy for the couple and their children. Find him here!

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Divorce-Hardship-Holidays and Food (What?) Coach Tracy Pleschourt on Doing Divorce Different with Attorney Lesa Koski #28

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 13:52:47 -0400

Divorce-Hardship-Holidays and You heard me food. Coach Tracy gives you a free coaching session. On todays special New Years episode Tracy teaches how taking control of what you put in your body can be the best self care ever. Lesa Koski shares her journey through a difficult holiday season and how coach Tracy's mind math has helped her see abundance even in the hard things.

Solving the mind math is the first step in Tracy's S.E.L.F approach. You can learn the 5 steps in episode 5. E represents eating food that fuels. There is no better time to remember this than when you are going through hard things. Learn how taking out sugar, flour and adding good fats can take away anxiety, depression and leave you feeling in control and satisfied. (L for learning to collect data and F is for fasting.)

Tracy Pleschourt is offering Project New You January 3-7th! Sign up on her website because now is the time to begin the work on the New You!

Tracy's website

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Divorce Mediation is a Better Way; The Why and the How of Divorce Mediation with attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #27

Tue, 28 Dec 2021 11:00:00 -0400

In this episode attorney and mediator Lesa Koski shares why she choses Mediation over adversity and why working collaboratively is a better way. We all know Divorce Mediation saves time and money; but did you know you can mitigate the damage divorce does to your children when you are a united front in your parenting?

If you are thinking about divorce you need this episode. You will understand divorce mediation and the steps involved after listening. Please contact Lesa Koski.

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Roadmap for your Post Divorce Future with Life Coach Jenn Krusinski and Host Attorney Lesa Koski on Doing Divorce Different #26

Tue, 21 Dec 2021 11:00:00 -0400

Friends you will feel comforted about your divorce after listening to life coach Jenn Krusinski. You can put even the messiest divorces behind you and create a much richer, truer life. Jen explains how she had her own dark night of the soul. She grieved. A lot. And, then she made a decision. She stood in her truth and everything changed. It's why she wants to work with you. So you can have this too.

Do you feel isolated? Broken? Empty?
Are you keeping your life small? Still blaming your ex? Holding onto anger?
Do you long for more meaning, more aliveness, more fun? Are you afraid?
Are you feeling like you don't even know who you are anymore?

YOU CAN START OVER.

Find Jenn at:

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Sheletta Makes me Laugh Shares her Divorce Story on Doing Divorce Different w/ host Attorney Lesa Koski #25

Tue, 14 Dec 2021 11:00:00 -0400

Sheletta Brundidge is a broadcaster and Emmy award-winning comedian who loves Jesus, bacon and brown liquor. She joins us on Doing Divorce Different to share her divorce story and how she is maneuvering through the hard stuff with 4 kids in tow. (All 4 kids are homeschooling with her as she records this episode-yes, you can hear them in the background at times- real life). Learn more about Sheletta and find her podcasts at website. Sheletta makes me laugh is a podcast network with shows to tickle your funny bone, make you think and cause you to cry.

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Doing Divorce Different #24 The Science Behind Dating, Love Factually's Dr. Duana Welch with attorney Lesa Koski

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 11:00:00 -0400

Learn the science behind dating with author Dr. Duana Welch. In this fun episode we learn what men are looking for and how it is different than what women are looking for in a mate. Duana coaches clients on how to write their dating profile and she unveils some unique tips that will help you find love again. We also delve into dating and kids, how to handle it and what to watch out for.

Dr. Duana Welch is the original Love Factually author and coach, known for using social science to solve real-life relationship issues. She has been a professor at universities in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, and has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets, podcasts and videos. Check out her books and resources on her website below and contact Lesa Koski to help you feel relief through a difficult divorce.

Duana's Website

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Doing Divorce Different Episode 23 with Smart Step Families' Ron Deal and host Attorney Lesa Koski

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Wondering about divorce, dating and step-parenting and how it all affects your children. Today's episode will help you learn how to have a successful step family; how this will help your kids and what to stay away from even in the beginning stages of dating. There is so much good learning going on in this episode. I was delighted by Ron's advice when you have kids date with both eyes open wide. (He also stated when your married keep one eye shut :)-Great idea!).

First, Ron walks us through some red and yellow lights when dating with kids. Because you are a package deal you want to be extra careful on how dating can impact kids. Next he discusses how being a blended family is hard work and worth it. When children are part of a high functioning step family it can mitigate the negative effects of divorce. This being said, never date someone to try to find a parent for you child; you would be marrying a step dad. Having a safe loving health home is what benefits kids the most; whether they have two parents or one.

A thought that really hit home with me was this, "When you live in fear of being hurt you tend to do things that lead you to being hurt." Ron asked, "are you going to be a victim of pain or feel it and push through it?" This is completely in line with my coaching through the divorce process. I will definitely share the insight with future clients that the presence of fear of another break up predicts whether people will have a good or bad marriage 93% of the time.

Find Ron Deal and all his amazing books and more information on blending families at:

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Divorce a New Beginning with Daisy Camp Attorney Angela Heart on Doing Divorce Different #22

Tue, 23 Nov 2021 12:00:00 -0400

In this weeks episode Attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski is joined by Attorney Angela Heart who is sharing information on the non-profit Daisy Camp. This resource is available to all of our listeners whether they are just beginning the divorce process, in the middle of a divorce or recovering from a divorce. Angela share's how Daisy Camp empowers people with resources and tools on the divorce process. Daisy Camp never turns anyone away. Go to Daisycamp.org and see what's coming. These webinars allow you to be in community with others; while remaining anonymous if you like!

MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

Website: https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koskilaw/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesakoski/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediationspecialists1/

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Attorney Lesa Koski Helps You Find Relief in Your Divorce Journey Through Science with author, Duana Welch, Ph.D. on Doing Divorce Different Podcast #21

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 07:00:00 -0400

Finding relief in your divorce journey can actually begin with science. You will learn the science behind relationships, the importance of forgiveness and how to keep your kids out of the middle of your divorce on today's episode. Dr. Duana Welch is the original Love Factually author and coach, known for using social science to solve real-life relationship issues. She has been a professor at universities in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, and has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets, podcasts and videos. Check out her books and resources on her website below and contact Lesa Koski to help you feel relief through a difficult divorce.

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Welcome to the Doing Divorce Different Podcast Episode 1

Fri, 12 Nov 2021 23:01:13 -0400

We are so excited to share our stories and talk all things divorce! Get to know my good friend and former client Kim Geiken as she shares her adventures through the divorce journey.

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Attorney Lesa Koski Interviews Her Divorce Client who Became a Mediator on Doing Divorce Different #20 with guest Kim Geiken.

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 11:00:00 -0400

You will have fun today on Doing Divorce Different. Thank you so much for tuning in. This is my birthday episode and I get to chat with my good friend and apprentice, Kim Geiken. She has all the fun stories about how she is thriving through her divorce journey. We even delve into the world of dating a bit. Enjoy!

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Doing Divorce Different with Peace and Parenting's Michelle Kenney #19 w/ host Lesa Koski

Tue, 02 Nov 2021 08:00:00 -0400

You will learn how to connect with your kids from Peace and Parenting's Michelle Kenney. Michelle's tools on connecting with kids rather than discipling them has changed my parent child relationship first hand. I am feeling blessed to be able to share her insights with you. When you see behavior in your child that you know isn't helpful you can connect with them and help them think well. Michelle teaches that empathy, play and one on one connection are the ways you can connect and then model behavior that will serve them through life. I was struck by her comment that kids really don't learn from our verbal instruction. 80% of learning comes from modeling. So if we can model good behavior life will teach them the rest!

Michelle also share's some of the biggest road blocks kids face during divorce. You can find Michelle at:

Michelle's website

Michelle's instagram

Michelle's facebook

Lesa Koski's website

Lesa's instagram

Lesa's facebook

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Attorney Lesa Koski Goes Across the Pond to Catch up with The Divorce Goddess on Doing Divorce Different #18

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 08:00:00 -0400

You will find peace in this episode. If you are going through a Divorce you need: Tosh Brittan AKA The Divorce Goddess. She teaches that Kindness is the power. Listen to how she maneuvered through her own divorce using the courage of kindness. Tosh's mission is, "to empower and support those going through divorce to change their mindset. From victim and blame and anger to acceptance and forgiveness, compassion and self kindness, to thrive rather than survive so that you can live a wonderful life beyond!"

Find the Divorce Goddess at:

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How to Love Yourself Podcast

Attorney Lesa Koski Leans into Self-Care Through Divorce Finding that Divorce is an Opportunity to Heal with JJ Flizanes, Doing Divorce Different #17

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 10:00:00 -0400

You will enjoy a new perspective from a well rounded fitness, mind and body instructor.

In this episode JJ Flizanes teaches that you are the creator of your own reality. She shares three steps to overcoming a victim mentality and creating effective communication. JJ walks you through her own divorce journey and how she healed her core wounds through the process.

JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and Host of The Fit 2 Love Podcast Show. She is the Director of Invisible Fitness, an Amazon best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually Fit to Attract the Love of Your Life, and author of Knack Absolute Abs: Routines for a Fit and Firm Core, and was named Best Personal Trainer in Los Angeles by Elite Traveler Magazine. Her newest book, The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight & End Body Shame debuted at #2 on Amazon’s Best Seller List and New Hot Release for Women’s Health. JJ vividly reminds us that the word ‘fitness’ is not just about the state of one’s physical body, but also the factors which determine a person’s overall well being. And, for JJ, the key components in all these areas are ‘invisible’ — balanced support structures of nutrition, emotional centeredness and health.

JJ Flizanes

Lesa Koski

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Our Happy Divorce Instagram

Our Happy Divorce with Nikki DeBartolo and Ben Heldfond on Doing Divorce Different #16 (hosted by Lesa Koski)

Tue, 12 Oct 2021 07:00:00 -0400

You will love this story! Learning how to have a happy divorce is easy and enjoyable with Nikki and Ben. As they share their story you will discover how you too can divorce a better way; a different way. Join attorney and mediator Lesa Koski as she has a fun conversation about their book and their happy life after divorce. Find Our Happy Divorce How Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Together here!

The greatest lesson learned on todays episode is that there is another way to divorce. There is hope to work together as a family even when you are not together anymore. This couples first steps in the right direction were the following:

1. worked on themselves,

2. apologized for their wrongs,

3. agreed they wanted what was best for their son.

And so began their healing journey through divorce.

Our Happy Divorce Facebook

Our Happy Divorce Website

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Attorney Lesa Koski Learns How Divorce Affects Children on Doing Divorce Different #15 with Award Winning Filmmaker Ellen Bruno

Tue, 05 Oct 2021 07:00:00 -0400

You will learn how divorce affects your children in this insightful episode. Lesa Koski interviews award-winning filmmaker Ellen Bruno on her documentary film Split (see trailer here). Learn the lessons taught by the children themselves. Bruno shares her personal journey through divorce and what she learned creating this film. A sequel is on the way, and we could not be more pleased. There are many lessons that can help you help your kids through divorce. Here are the four main ones:

1. Children want to know what is happening. (without all the hurtful details).

2. Children need to know it is not their fault.

3. Children need to know that the parents have this and everything is going to be ok.

4. Children need to hear positive things about each parent. They are 1/2 of each and hearing bad information about one makes a child feel 1/2 bad.

If you want help your kids and co-parent well check out my online course.

Check out Ellen and her other amazing documentaries here. Split documentary here.

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Fear Not! Simplify Divorce Finances With Wealth Advisor Will Berigan, Doing Divorce Different #14

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 06:00:00 -0400

Financial discussions can be fun. Really! Wealth advisor Will Berigan joins host Lesa Koski as they tap into all the tools to keep you feeling calm when dealing with your finances. When you are beginning your divorce journey it is extremely important to get your financial paperwork in order. Gathering information on all your assets will make the process smoother. In addition to your assets, budgeting is a big deal. It is the number one thing Divorce Mediation clients need when discussing some form of support. Finances can be easy when you understand what you have, what is coming in and what you spend. Koski Law will hold your hand through your financial divorce issues with easy to use forms to assist in your divorce preparation. When finances get complicated we call Will Berigan. (Will's website)

Lesa Koski

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#13 Don't Forget to do These Things After the Divorce Paperwork is signed with Attorney Annie Brose

Tue, 21 Sep 2021 08:00:00 -0400

You do not want to miss this! So often when the divorce is done we want to run into a whole and hide. You do always need your self care but don't forget how important changing your beneficiary designations, transferring your retirement plans and making sure your real estate deeds are up to snuff. These are all things we help you remember during your divorce process. We always persuade clients to actually take care of them while they are going through the divorce. You don't want anything hanging around to muck up you ownership. Annie Brose is a well known attorney whose practice encompasses Estate/Trust planning, real estate and business. She has all the tips for updating your assets after divorce. You can find Annie at: Firm Website

Lesa Koski's Website

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Attorney Lesa Koski Teaches 5 Steps to Self Coaching Through Difficult Stuff on Doing Divorce Different #12

Tue, 14 Sep 2021 09:00:00 -0400

In this episode I share my self help and coaching tips. You will learn how to coach yourself and take responsibility for your outcome. A 5 step process will prepare you for a difficult conversation or mediation session. Dealing with anger in the moment is real, learn some tricks to handle this and other difficult feelings. Finally find out how a peaceful mindset is available to you.

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Dealing with Anger and Other Difficult Feelings with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen #11

Tue, 07 Sep 2021 15:00:00 -0400

If you are alive this episode is for you. We all deal with difficult feelings and negative thoughts; whether we are going through a divorce or other life experiences. The lovely Dr. Elizabeth Cohen shares her insight on how to grow through these feelings and thoughts; making divorce a true gift. You will get insight on how to handle difficult situations in the moment and how to prepare for them ahead of time. The first major lesson is taking the judgment off your feelings. If you are going through a divorce you should be angry. Dr. Elizabeth calls it righteous angry. Allowing yourself to feel this and all difficult feelings is the first step to healing. If you are heading into a situation that you know will be difficult "book end it". Do something nice for yourself before the situation and do something nice for yourself after. Listen to learn tips on how to deal with negative feelings that pop up in a difficult moment. Please join us now and learn more in Dr. Elizabeth Cohen's book, Light on the Other Side of Divorce. You can find Dr. Elizabeth on her website, click here.

Lesa Koski's website

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Keep Your Children in Relationship with Both Parents Through Divorce With Dorcy Pruter, Founder and CEO of Conscious Coparenting

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 10:00:00 -0400

You will enjoy hearing Dorcy Pruter's amazing story of experiencing and then becoming a solution to parental alienation. It is so important for children to be in relationship with both parents. "When a child rejects a parent they are rejecting 1/2 themselves", Dorcy Pruter. Learn tips on how to help your child bond again and authentically communicate. Find Dorcy on her Website.

Lesa Koski's Website

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Divorce is an Opportunity with Susan Guthrie, Esq.

Wed, 25 Aug 2021 16:09:00 -0400

You will feel relief about divorce after listening to leading dispute resolution professional Susan Guthrie. Susan shares her divorce journey and how it changed her law practice. Learn how to be intentional with your divorce mediation. "Looking at the past is what got you here...is that serving you now?" Susan Guthrie. If you are struggling through divorce this podcast is for you.

Find Susan Guthrie at:

Divorce and Beyond Podcast

Find Lesa Koski at:

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Attorney Lesa Koski Helps You Take the fear out of Divorce with Marriage and Family Therapist Brian Burns on Doing Divorce Different #8

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 20:00:00 -0400

This episode will ease your mind about how the divorce process is affecting your kids. Join Kim and I as Marriage and Family Therapist Brian Burns gives you multiple tips on how to help your kids be ok through divorce. Also learn how you can find out if you are ready for divorce. Reach out to Brian at https://www.mnrelationshiprepair.com. Share your healing divorce stories with us at https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/. The name of the netflix movie is The Marriage Story!

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Parenting #7

Thu, 12 Aug 2021 03:30:09 -0400

Help your children thrive through divorce! Learn how to become a united force even through divorce.

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Doing Divorce Different Episode 6 with The Laughing LoveBugs

Tue, 03 Aug 2021 19:00:00 -0400

In this episode you will learn how to deal with stress through laughter. Join us as we learn how laughter can change your life and it doesn't even have to be something that you think is funny. Lauren and Alik AKA The laughing lovebugs https://www.laughinglovebugs.com/ share their story of healing through laughter. Go to LesaKoski.com for more information about how to begin a healing journey through divorce. https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

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Doing Divorce Different Episode #5 with Coach Tracy Pleschourt

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 20:00:00 -0400

In this episode you will learn the 5 simple steps to self coaching from my very own personal coach Tracy Pleschourt. Join us and begin the healing journey through divorce. Find Tracy at https://www.self-madeu.com/work-with-me. Please use the code VIP to get 50% off her upcoming crash course. Find us at LesaKoski.com.

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Doing Divorce Different Episode 4 with Michelle Kniess

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 19:00:00 -0400

If you are wondering about your divorce options this episode describes when mediation is appropriate and when you may want to get attorneys involved.

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Doing Divorce Different Episode #3

Tue, 13 Jul 2021 19:47:58 -0400

Learn all about Collaborative Law with our special guest Attorney Angela Heart.

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Doing Divorce Different Episode #2

Mon, 05 Jul 2021 16:00:00 -0400

This Podcast is a Business Talk Radio interview of host Lesa Koski. You will learn all things mediation!

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Welcome to the Doing Divorce Different Podcast

Wed, 23 Jun 2021 20:30:01 -0400

Host Attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski and Kim Geiken (a divorce mediator client who became a mediator) bring you all things divorce. Alleviate the fear of Divorce and learn how you can do it different, better. https://www.familyandcivilmediation.com/

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