If you’ve been feeling like someone else’s success makes you uncomfortable… like you’re comparing more than you want to admit… like certain people just trigger something in you—this episode is for you.

Because here’s the truth:

Jealousy isn’t something to be ashamed of.

And more importantly… it’s not a flaw—it’s feedback.

💭 What This Episode Covers

• Why jealousy isn’t a “bad” emotion—it’s information
• What your jealousy is actually trying to show you
• How to stop suppressing or projecting jealous feelings
• The hidden beliefs that keep you stuck in comparison
• Signs someone else might be jealous of you
• How to handle jealousy (yours and others’) in a healthy way

🚨 Why Jealousy Happens

1. It Reveals Your Desires
2. When you feel jealous, you’re reacting to what someone represents.
3. It’s not about them—it’s about what you want.
4. 👉 Result: You get clarity on what matters to you
5. Learned Beliefs Create Resistance
6. If you believe “rich people are greedy” or “happy people are just lucky,”
7. your brain will block you from becoming those things.
8. 👉 Result: You stay stuck wanting what you’ve labeled as “bad”
9. Suppression Turns Into Projection
10. Ignoring jealousy doesn’t make it disappear.
11. It shows up later as criticism, resentment, or passive aggression.
12. 👉 Result: You push away what you secretly admire
13. Comparison Without Awareness
14. You compare your life to others without asking why.
15. You feel frustrated—but don’t explore the root.
16. 👉 Result: You stay in the loop instead of growing from it

😞 The Emotional Cost of Jealousy

When you believe “they have something I don’t,” it creates:

• insecurity
• frustration
• quiet resentment

And the worst part?

👉 You miss the opportunity to turn that feeling into growth

⚠️ The Hidden Danger

Unchecked jealousy can quietly shape how you see others—and yourself.

Examples:

• Dismissing successful people instead of learning from them
• Making backhanded comments to feel better
• Judging lifestyles you secretly want
• Avoiding growth because it conflicts with your beliefs

👉 You block yourself from becoming the very thing you desire

🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear

There are no “bad” emotions

There is only information

Jealousy doesn’t mean you’re a bad person

It means you’re an honest one

What you feel is pointing you somewhere

Not holding you back

👉 You just have to be willing to look at it

🔄 What Jealousy Actually Means

It means something inside you is waking up

It means you’re noticing what you want

It means you’re ready for more

This isn’t something to hide from

It’s something to learn from

👉 It’s the beginning—not the end

🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Jealousy” Mindset

1. Name It Without Shame
2. Instead of avoiding it, say: “I feel jealous.”
3. That honesty is where growth begins.
4. Get Curious
5. Ask yourself:
6. What exactly am I jealous of?
7. What does this person represent to me?
8. Challenge Your Beliefs
9. Notice your automatic thoughts:
10. “Rich people are…”
11. “Happy people are…”
12. Rewrite what no longer serves you.
13. Shift From Comparison → Possibility
14. Instead of “Why them?” ask:
15. “What would it look like for me to have this too?”
16. Watch Your Words
17. Avoid criticizing or minimizing others.
18. What you say about them often reveals how you feel about yourself.

💡 Key Takeaway

Jealousy isn’t your enemy

It’s your internal compass

It shows you what you want

And where you’re holding yourself back

👉 Use it as direction—not judgment

✨ Glimmers from This Episode

• Realizing emotions are guidance—not something to fear
• Catching your thoughts and choosing a new perspective
• Letting yourself want more without guilt
• Seeing growth as something available to you too

💬 Final Thought

The things that trigger you…

are often the things meant for you.

Pay attention to what stirs something inside you.

It might just be pointing you toward your next chapter.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

Because here’s the truth:

You’re not randomly messing things up.

And more importantly… you’re not broken.

💭 What This Episode Covers

• Why you sabotage good things (even when you don’t mean to)
• The concept of a “happiness ceiling”
• How your past shapes your comfort zone
• Why calm and peace can feel uncomfortable
• Signs you’re subconsciously self-sabotaging
• How to start shifting your internal “thermostat”

🚨 Why Self-Sabotage Happens

1. Your “Familiarity Thermostat”
2. Your mind and body are wired to return to what feels normal—even if it’s stressful or chaotic.
3. 👉 Result: When life gets better than your baseline, you unconsciously pull yourself back.
4. Worthiness Wounds
5. Sometimes, deep down, you don’t believe you deserve good things.
6. 👉 Result: You disrupt what’s going well to match how you feel about yourself.
7. Addiction to Stress
8. If you grew up around chaos or instability, calm can feel unsafe or unfamiliar.
9. 👉 Result: You recreate tension because it feels more “normal.”
10. Fear of the Unknown
11. Success, peace, or happiness at a new level can feel unpredictable.
12. 👉 Result: You retreat back to what you know—even if it’s not what you want.

😞 The Emotional Cost of Self-Sabotage

When you believe “this won’t last” or “something bad is coming,” it creates:

• anxiety
• overthinking
• self-doubt

And the worst part?

👉 You end up proving your own fears right.

⚠️ The Hidden Danger

Self-sabotage doesn’t always look obvious—it often feels justified.

Examples:

• Picking a fight during a great moment
• “Losing motivation” right when things take off
• Creating problems that weren’t there before

👉 You don’t realize you’re choosing discomfort—you think you’re reacting to reality.

🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear

• You are not behind
• You are not broken
• You are not incapable

What you’re experiencing is conditioning.

And that can change.

👉 You are allowed to feel safe in good things.

🔄 What Self-Sabotage Actually Means

It doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means:

• You’re growing
• You’re stretching beyond your old identity
• You’re entering unfamiliar territory

👉 It’s the beginning—not the end

🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Self-Sabotage” Mindset

1. Notice the Pattern
2. Start catching the moment things feel “too good.”
3. Ask yourself:
4. Is something actually wrong—or just unfamiliar?
5. Name It in Real Time
6. Say it: “This is my thermostat kicking in.”
7. Labeling it helps you create space instead of reacting.
8. Sit With the Discomfort
9. Let things be good without interfering.
10. Practice staying in the calm—even when it feels strange.
11. Normalize Good
12. If something positive happens—don’t rush past it.
13. Let it sit. Feel it. Get used to it.
14. Raise Your Baseline Gradually
15. You don’t need to jump from survival mode to perfect peace overnight.
16. Small shifts create lasting change.

💡 Key Takeaway

You’re not sabotaging your life on purpose.

You’re regulating back to what feels safe.

But safe doesn’t have to mean stressful.

👉 You can teach your system that good things are safe to keep.

✨ Glimmers from This Episode

• Learning that calm is something you can grow into
• Realizing awareness is the first step to change
• Finding peace in small, steady progress
• Letting yourself enjoy when things are going right

💬 Final Thought

Maybe things aren’t falling apart.

Maybe they’re finally coming together in a way you’re not used to yet.

And maybe…

this time…

you don’t have to ruin it.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

Because here’s the truth:

Almost everyone feels this way at some point.

And more importantly… it’s not actually true.

💭 What This Episode Covers

• Why the feeling of being “behind” is so common
• The hidden pressure of comparison culture
• How timelines are created (and why they’re not real)
• The emotional toll of constantly feeling “not enough”
• How to reconnect with your own path
• Practical ways to shift out of the “behind” mindset

🚨 Why You Feel Behind (Even When You’re Not)

1. Comparison Culture

You’re constantly measuring your life against other people’s highlight reels.

• Social media shows curated success
• You don’t see the trade-offs or struggles
• You compare your reality to someone else’s best moments

👉 Result: You always feel like you’re losing

2. Invisible Timelines

You’ve been taught there’s a “right time” for everything:

• Career milestones
• Marriage / kids
• Buying a house
• Financial success

But those timelines?

They’re learned—not real.

3. External Definitions of Success

You’ve been conditioned to measure success by:

• Money
• Titles
• Status
• Possessions

But none of these guarantee fulfillment.

😞 The Emotional Cost of Feeling Behind

When you believe you’re behind, it creates:

• Anxiety
• Pressure
• Rushed decisions
• Self-doubt
• Low self-worth

And the worst part?

👉 That “catching up” feeling never goes away

There will always be someone “ahead” if you play that game.

⚠️ The Hidden Danger

When you feel behind…

You start making decisions that aren’t actually right for you.

Examples:

• Staying in careers you don’t want
• Rushing relationships
• Buying things to “keep up”
• Following paths that aren’t aligned

👉 You stop living your life—and start living a timeline.

🔑 The Truth You Need to Hear

• You are not behind
• There is no universal timeline
• Life is not linear
• People peak, pivot, restart, and reinvent constantly

👉 You’re not late. You’re just on your own path.

🔄 What Feeling Behind Actually Means

This feeling isn’t a failure.

It’s a signal:

• You’re becoming more self-aware
• You want something different
• You’re ready for growth
• You’re outgrowing your current situation

👉 It’s the beginning—not the end

🛠️ How to Shift Out of the “Behind” Mindset

1. Stop Measuring → Start Defining

Ask yourself:

• What does success look like for me?
• What do I actually want?

Not what looks good.

Not what impresses others.

What feels right.

2. Zoom Out

Don’t compare one area of your life to someone else’s whole life.

Look at:

• Your growth
• Your experiences
• Your strengths

👉 When you zoom out, you’ll realize you’re doing better than you think.

3. Remove False Deadlines

Most timelines are:

• Socially constructed
• Arbitrary
• Not aligned with your life

👉 You don’t have to follow them.

4. Focus on Direction, Not Speed

Progress isn’t about how fast you go.

It’s about:

• Consistency
• Alignment
• Intentional steps forward

5. Reconnect With Your Path

Ask yourself:

• What actually matters to me right now?
• What feels aligned?
• What do I want—not what’s expected?

💡 Key Takeaway

You’re not behind.

You’re just:

• Becoming aware
• Questioning old patterns
• Starting to choose your own path

👉 And that’s where everything changes.

✨ Glimmers from This Episode

• Finding joy in small wins (like thrifting wins or a sunny walk)
• Reconnecting with community (like a book club)
• Appreciating simple moments you once overlooked

💬 Final Thought

Your life isn’t on a clock.

It’s on a path.

And you’re still on it.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs this reminder 💫

You’ve done the work.

You’ve built the habits.

You’ve pushed through the discomfort.

So why does it still feel like you’re not fully that person yet?

In this episode, we break down the final (and often hardest) step of personal growth:

taking full ownership of who you’ve become.

Because becoming the new version of you isn’t about doing more —

it’s about deciding you already are that person.

🔑 What We Talk About

1. Why you’ll never “feel ready” to become your next version
2. The gap between doing vs. being
3. Why the “messy middle” feels so uncomfortable
4. Fear of success and identity shifts
5. How to stop waiting for permission
6. Letting go of your old story
7. How to fully embody your new identity

⚡ Key Takeaways

1. You Don’t Become Her/Him Later — You Choose It Now

You don’t wait until you feel confident.

You decide, today, that this is who you are.

“Now is your time to choose to feel like that person.”

2. The Hardest Part Is the Identity Shift

There’s a gap between:

1. Doing the habits
2. Being the person

That gap feels uncomfortable because your brain is catching up to your actions.

3. “Trying” Keeps You Stuck

When you say:

1. “I’m trying to be disciplined”
2. “I’m trying to be confident”

You reinforce that you’re not there yet.

Instead:

1. “I follow through”
2. “I take care of my health”

4. You Don’t Need Permission

If you’re waiting for validation…

You’ll stay stuck.

Ownership happens when you decide:

“This is who I am now.”

5. Stop Rehearsing Your Old Identity

Every time you say:

1. “I’ve always been like this…”
2. “I’m just not that kind of person…”

You reinforce the old version.

Let it go.

6. Make Decisions as Your Future Self

Ask yourself:

1. What would future me do here?
2. What would the version of me I’m becoming choose?

Small decisions = identity reinforcement.

7. Growth Isn’t a Finish Line

There is no final version of you.

There are seasons of:

1. Becoming
2. Being
3. Expanding again

And learning to sit in the “being” phase is just as important.

🧭 How to Know It’s Working

You’ll notice:

1. You trust your decisions faster
2. You stop over-explaining yourself
3. You recover quicker from setbacks
4. You feel more calm and grounded
5. It starts to feel… normal

That’s when it clicks.

💭 Powerful Reflection Question

What would it look like to fully own this version of me?

🛠️ Want Help Stepping Into Your Next Version?

If you’re stuck in the gap and want support:

👉 https://www.fiveyearyou.com/coaching

We work with you 2:1 to help you:

1. Break through identity blocks
2. Build confidence
3. Fully step into your next level

✨ Final Reminder

You don’t need another breakthrough.

You don’t need more proof.

You just need to own who you’ve already become.

If you loved this episode, share it with someone who’s in their “messy middle” right now 💫

“What if I’m wrong?”

This episode is for you.

Because one of the hardest parts of growth isn’t starting —

it’s staying on the path when doubt shows up.

🔗 Ready to go deeper?

👉 Coaching: https://www.fiveyearyou.com/coaching

💡 What We Talk About

1. Why doubt shows up when you’re actually growing
2. The myth of certainty (and why you’ll never feel 100% sure)
3. The difference between being off track vs. uncomfortable
4. How to recognize real signs of alignment
5. Why you don’t need external validation to stay on your path
6. How to build self-trust without constant reassurance

🧠 The Truth About Being “On the Right Path”

You don’t get certainty first…

You get clarity after you take action.

Growth removes predictability — and your brain will resist that.

That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

It means you’re doing something new.

✨ Signs You’re On the Right Path

1. It Feels Calm (Not Chaotic)

Even when things aren’t perfect, there’s an internal steadiness.

2. Things Start to Flow

You’re not forcing everything — opportunities, people, and ideas start to align.

3. You Respect Yourself More

Even if others don’t understand your choices, you know they’re right for you.

4. You Feel More Intentional

Your actions feel aligned with who you’re becoming.

5. You Keep Going (Even When It’s Hard)

You feel resistance — but it doesn’t stop you.

6. You’re Becoming More Consistent

Small habits start sticking. You show up more often as your future self.

⚠️ What People Get Wrong

Being on the right path does NOT mean:

1. You feel confident all the time
2. You have certainty
3. You see immediate results
4. Other people understand your decisions
5. It’s easy

Discomfort is part of alignment — not proof you’re off track.

🔑 The Real Problem

Most people don’t lack direction…

They lack tolerance for uncertainty.

🛠️ How To Build Self-Trust

1. Keep Promises to Yourself

Small daily actions build confidence in who you’re becoming

2. Stop Asking Everyone for Approval

Every time you seek reassurance, you weaken your own voice

3. Trust the Direction (Not the Results)

You don’t need proof yet — just momentum

4. Track Alignment, Not Outcomes

Focus on effort, consistency, and how things feel

🔁 Simple Reflection Prompts

1. What felt aligned today?
2. Where did I trust myself?
3. What small step did I take forward?
4. What nudges or signs did I notice?

🌱 Key Takeaway

You don’t need full certainty to be on the right path.

You just need:

➡️ A direction that feels aligned

➡️ The courage to keep going

➡️ And the willingness to trust yourself

💫 Glimmers

Catherine:

First garage sale + thrifting day of the season 🛍️

Andrew:

Finding small signs of alignment (like his “dime moments”)

If this episode helped you, share it with someone who’s questioning their path right now 💫

https://www.fiveyearyou.com/coaching

If you’ve ever struggled to say no, felt guilty for prioritizing yourself, or found your growth slipping because of other people’s expectations… this episode is for you.

Boundaries are one of the most important — and hardest — parts of becoming your future self.

Because growth doesn’t stick without protection.

💡 What We Talk About

1. What boundaries actually are (and what they’re NOT)
2. Why boundaries feel so uncomfortable (especially with people you love)
3. The hidden cost of people-pleasing
4. How lack of boundaries pulls you back into your old identity
5. Why guilt shows up when you start setting boundaries
6. The connection between boundaries, confidence, and self-trust

🧠 What Boundaries Really Are

Boundaries are not:

1. Punishment
2. Control
3. Rejection
4. A wall

Boundaries are:

1. Self-respect
2. Protection of your time, energy, and identity
3. A way to stay aligned with who you’re becoming
4. An act of love toward yourself

⚠️ Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Hard

Because it challenges:

1. Your desire to be liked
2. Your fear of conflict
3. Your identity as “the nice one”
4. Your fear of rejection or disappointing others

And most importantly…

It often involves the people closest to you.

💸 The Cost of NOT Setting Boundaries

Without boundaries, you lose:

1. Time
2. Energy
3. Clarity
4. Self-trust
5. Control over your life

Every time you abandon a boundary, you reinforce your old identity.

🔑 The 4 Types of Boundaries You Need

1. Time Boundaries

Protect your schedule and priorities

Examples:

1. Not overcommitting
2. Having a cutoff time for work or communication
3. Leaving on time

2. Energy Boundaries

Protect your emotional and mental capacity

Examples:

1. Limiting draining conversations
2. Reducing exposure to negativity (people, news, social media)
3. Choosing when you engage

3. Access Boundaries

Deciding who gets access to you

Examples:

1. Not always being available
2. Delaying responses
3. Choosing who you engage with

4. Identity Boundaries

Protecting who you’re becoming

Examples:

1. Not engaging in old habits
2. Letting go of outdated labels
3. Speaking differently about yourself

🛠️ Simple Boundary Phrases You Can Use

1. “No.”
2. “No thanks.”
3. “That doesn’t work for me.”
4. “I’m not available for that right now.”
5. “I don’t have the capacity for that today.”
6. “I’m keeping things simple this week.”

✨ Reminder:

You don’t need to over-explain or justify your boundaries.

⚡ What Happens When You Set Boundaries

1. Some people will adjust
2. Some people will resist

And that’s okay.

People who resist often benefited from you not having boundaries.

🔁 Key Mindset Shift

Guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

It means you’re doing something different.

🔥 The Big Question

What boundary can you set today

that protects your future self?

✨ Final Takeaway

Your future self isn’t just built by what you do…

It’s protected by what you no longer allow.

💫 Glimmers

Catherine:

First warm day of the year — sunshine, no jacket, and a peaceful walk ☀️

Andrew:

Having Catherine back after a solo episode 🙌

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs permission to choose themselves today.

https://fiveyearyou.com

Feeling anxious and need it to stop… fast?

In this solo episode, Andrew breaks down exactly what’s happening in your body during anxiety — and gives you simple, practical tools to calm it down in real time.

No overcomplicated strategies.

No “just think positive” advice.

Just real, science-backed ways to regulate your nervous system and feel better quickly.

If you’ve ever:

• Felt tightness in your chest, throat, or stomach

• Experienced racing thoughts you can’t shut off

• Needed immediate relief from anxiety

• Tried to “think your way out” and it didn’t work

This episode will give you a step-by-step reset you can use anytime.

WHAT WE COVER:

• Why anxiety feels so intense and urgent

• The fight-or-flight response explained simply

• Why you can’t think your way out of anxiety

• The difference between real danger and perceived threat

• How your nervous system creates anxiety loops

• Why awareness is the first step to calming down

HOW TO CALM ANXIETY FAST OPTIONS:

1. Breathe (First Always)
2. Inhale for 4 seconds
3. Exhale slowly for 6–8 seconds
4. Repeat for 1–3 minutes
5. Move Your Body
6. Walk, shake your hands, jump, or change environments
7. Release the built-up energy in your system
8. Ground Yourself
9. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method or name objects around you
10. Remind your brain: “I am safe right now”
11. Reframe Your Thoughts
12. Ask yourself:
13. • What actually happened?
14. • What am I imagining?
15. • What evidence do I have?

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

You don’t calm anxiety by thinking your way out.

You calm it by regulating your body first.

Anxiety is not a sign something is wrong with you.

It’s your body trying to protect you.

The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety —

It’s to learn how to move through it faster.

TRY THIS:

Create your own “Anxiety Reset Routine”:

• Breathe

• Move

• Ground

• Reframe

Practice it when you’re calm so it’s easier to use when you’re not.

NEXT EPISODE:

How to Set Boundaries (Without Triggering Anxiety)

Because growth and boundaries often go hand in hand.

Connect With Us:

Website & Coaching:

https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

Email:

hello@fiveyearyou.com

If this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs a reset today.

You’re not broken.

You’re human.

And you can bring yourself back to calm. 💛

We’ve all been there.

You say something awkward…

You replay a conversation over and over…

You start imagining worst-case scenarios…

And before you know it, your brain is running a full disaster movie.

In this episode, we’re talking about what spiraling really is, why your brain does it, and how to stop it before it takes over your entire day. how-to-stop-spiraling

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in anxiety loops, catastrophizing about small moments, or doubting yourself after an interaction, this episode will give you practical tools to break the cycle.

In This Episode

We discuss:

• What “spiraling” actually is and why it happens

• How your nervous system searches for threats when you feel unsafe

• The connection between triggers and anxiety loops

• Why growth and personal development can make spiraling more likely

• How spiraling can pull you back into old habits and behaviors

• Practical ways to calm your nervous system when a spiral starts

• Questions to ask yourself to separate fear from reality

What Causes Spiraling

Spiraling usually starts with a triggering moment.

Something small happens—an awkward interaction, criticism, or uncertainty—and your brain begins trying to predict every possible threat.

Your nervous system enters hyper-arousal, and suddenly you may experience:

• Racing thoughts

• Catastrophizing

• Self-doubt

• Emotional replays of past events

• Fear of rejection or losing belonging

Your brain isn’t broken.

It’s trying to protect you.

Signs You’re Spiraling

You might notice yourself:

• Replaying conversations repeatedly

• Assuming the worst-case scenario

• Questioning your identity or decisions

• Over-analyzing someone else’s reaction

• Feeling tense or physically activated

• Doubting your progress or growth

Spiraling often happens when you’re trying something new or growing, because new behavior creates vulnerability.

How to Stop a Spiral

Andrew shares three immediate ways to interrupt a spiral.

1. Interrupt the Loop Physically

Change your environment or body state.

Try:

• Standing up and moving rooms

• Walking outside

• Splashing cold water on your wrists

• Cooling the back of your neck

Your body needs to calm before your mind can.

2. Slow Your Breathing

Spiraling causes shallow breathing.

Reset your nervous system with slower breaths.

Try:

• Box breathing

• A deep inhale through the nose

• A small “sip” inhale

• A long, slow exhale

Longer exhales signal safety to your nervous system.

3. Name the Spiral

Simply say:

“I’m spiraling right now.”

Labeling the experience reduces emotional intensity and helps your brain step out of the loop.

Separate Fear From Facts

Once your body is calmer, ask yourself:

• What is actually happening?

• What am I assuming?

• What evidence do I have?

• What story am I telling myself?

Most spirals are built on assumptions, not facts.

Anti-Spiral Habits

To prevent spirals long-term:

• Pause before reacting

• Give your brain 7 seconds to process

• Talk to a trusted person for a reality check

• Journal your thoughts instead of replaying them

• Protect your boundaries during personal growth

Remember: every thought you have is not the truth.

Key Takeaway

Spiraling doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It usually means you’re stretching into something new.

Growth creates vulnerability.

Vulnerability can trigger anxiety.

But awareness helps you break the loop.

You don’t need to eliminate spiraling completely.

You just need tools to recognize it and move through it faster.

Glimmers of the Week

At the end of every episode, we share something bringing us joy.

Cat’s Glimmer:

Getting unexpected one-on-one time with her daughter during a week off from swimming.

Andrew’s Glimmer:

Going to a Winnipeg Jets game with his dad and son.

Small moments of joy matter.

Next Episode

Next we’re talking about:

The Boundaries That Protect Your Growth

Because becoming your future self often requires protecting your energy and your progress.

You decided to grow.

You set goals.

You changed habits.

You started becoming the next version of yourself.

And then… the people around you got uncomfortable.

In this episode, Andrew and Cat talk about what happens when the people closest to you don’t support your growth — and why this is one of the hardest (and most normal) parts of personal development.

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, judged, teased, or quietly pressured to “go back to who you were,” this episode will help you navigate that tension with clarity, compassion, and strength.

Why Growth Disrupts Relationships

Growth doesn’t just change you — it changes your dynamics.

Relationships are built on patterns. When you shift your behavior, identity, or boundaries, the pattern breaks. And breaking patterns requires adjustment from everyone involved.

Common reasons people resist your growth:

1. Your change highlights their stagnation
2. They fear losing the version of you they knew
3. Your growth forces them to self-reflect
4. They feel left behind
5. The relationship feels less predictable

It’s rarely about malice.

It’s usually about discomfort.

What Happens Inside You

When others resist your growth, you may:

1. Feel guilty
2. Want to shrink back
3. Over-explain your decisions
4. Protect their feelings at your own expense
5. Question whether you’re doing the right thing

You might notice it physically:

1. Tight chest
2. Knot in your stomach
3. Lump in your throat
4. Urge to justify yourself

That awareness is growth.

What NOT to Do

❌ Don’t Over-Explain

You don’t owe anyone a PowerPoint presentation on your life choices.

❌ Don’t Argue or Debate

Your growth doesn’t need to win a courtroom case.

❌ Don’t Shrink to Make Others Comfortable

Dimming your light to keep peace eventually builds resentment.

❌ Don’t Force Others to Join You

You can’t drag someone onto a growth journey. You can only lead by example.

What TO Do Instead

✅ Stay Consistent

Consistency builds quiet confidence.

✅ Let Your Actions Speak

Embodiment is more powerful than announcements.

✅ Expect Discomfort

Growth without friction isn’t growth.

✅ Use Discernment

Not all pushback is insecurity. Some feedback is care expressed imperfectly.

✅ Grieve What Changes

If relationships shift, it’s okay to feel sad about it.

Growth sometimes requires release.

Feedback vs. Resistance

Not all resistance is negativity.

Sometimes:

1. Grandma is worried about your diet because she loves you.
2. A friend questions your workload because they’re concerned.
3. A parent warns you because protection is their love language.

Discernment matters.

Ask:

1. Is this coming from care or insecurity?
2. Is there truth here?
3. Or is this about their discomfort?

The Hard Truth

Your growth may cost you:

1. Old dynamics
2. Certain friendships
3. Predictability
4. Approval

But it gives you:

1. Alignment
2. Self-respect
3. Emotional maturity
4. Space for better relationships

Rejection can be protection.

Reflection Questions

1. Where am I shrinking myself to keep the peace?
2. Whose opinion do I fear most when I change?
3. Am I seeking alignment or approval?
4. What would staying fully grounded look like here?

Key Reminder From This Episode

You don’t need everyone to understand you.

You just need to understand yourself.

Thrift Find of the Week

A thrift haul that unexpectedly exploded on Instagram — reminding Andrew and Cat that doing what makes you genuinely happy tends to resonate the most.

Glimmers of the Week

1. Growth in their thrift content account (because joy compounds).
2. Signs of spring arriving in Chicago.
3. The reminder that authenticity works better than trying to “crack the algorithm.”

What’s Coming Next

Next episode:

How to Stop Spiraling

Because when people don’t support your growth, it’s easy to get in your head. We’ll talk about how to ground yourself and stop the mental spiral before it takes over.

Connect With Five Year You

Website & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice.

You were motivated.

You were clear on who you wanted to become.

And then… it got uncomfortable.

In this episode, Andrew and Cat walk through what actually happens after the excitement of change fades — when reality hits, resistance shows up, and consistency feels harder than you expected.

This is the messy middle.

If you’re building your Five Year You and feel like quitting, this episode will normalize the discomfort, explain what’s happening neurologically, and give you practical strategies to stay the course.

Why Change Feels So Hard

When you try to change your habits, you’re not just changing behavior — you’re challenging your identity.

Your nervous system prefers familiar patterns. Even if your old patterns weren’t ideal, they were predictable. And your brain is wired for safety, not growth.

So when you:

1. Wake up earlier
2. Set new boundaries
3. Start eating differently
4. Launch a business
5. Speak up differently

Your brain sounds the alarm.

Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

It means you’re doing something new.

The 4 Types of Discomfort

1. Emotional Discomfort
2. Guilt, doubt, awkwardness, imposter syndrome.
3. Social Discomfort
4. People reacting to your changes. Feeling misunderstood.
5. Internal Discomfort
6. The voice that says: “Who do you think you are?”
7. Physical Discomfort
8. Fatigue, soreness, brain fog while building new neural pathways.

All of this is normal.

Why Most People Quit

Consistency doesn’t fall apart because you lack discipline.

It usually happens when:

1. The excitement fades
2. Results aren’t immediate
3. Old habits start calling you back
4. You hit the “identity dip”

The identity dip is the space between who you were and who you’re becoming.

The beginning is exciting.

The end is rewarding.

The middle is messy.

That messy middle is where growth actually happens.

The Real Key to Consistency

It’s not intensity.

It’s not perfection.

It’s not even discipline.

It’s emotional tolerance.

Can you tolerate:

1. Doubt?
2. Delay?
3. Frustration?
4. Being misunderstood?
5. Not seeing results yet?

The people who stay consistent aren’t perfect — they just return faster.

How to Stay the Course

1. Drop the Perfection Standard

Ask yourself:

What would 5% consistency look like instead of 100% perfection?

2. Increase Your Return Speed

Missing is normal.

What matters is:

1. How quickly you come back
2. How fast you re-anchor to your identity

Miss one.

Try not to miss two.

Always return.

3. Expect Resistance

Anticipate it.

Prepare for it.

When resistance shows up, you’ll recognize it instead of panicking.

4. Anchor to Your Why

Write it down.

Revisit it daily.

Visualize your Five Year You.

The clearer the vision, the easier the consistency.

5. Celebrate the “Boring Wins”

Consistency feels unexciting because it’s repetitive.

But your future self is built in quiet, repeated actions — not dramatic breakthroughs.

Celebrate:

1. The workout you didn’t skip
2. The boundary you held
3. The sugar you didn’t eat
4. The sale you made
5. The morning you showed up

Every swing at the rock matters.

Powerful Reminders From This Episode

1. Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re off path.
2. The middle is supposed to feel messy.
3. Your identity is updating.
4. Consistency is about staying the course.
5. You are not behind.
6. You are becoming.

Thrift Find of the Week

A $3 Janessa Leoné hat valued around $500 — found in 10 minutes between swim practice and workouts. (Because dopamine doesn’t have to be expensive.)

Glimmers of the Week

1. Cat: Watching their daughter win first place at a swim meet after consistent effort.
2. Andrew: Getting back into the studio and celebrating small progress (and barbecue motivation).

What’s Coming Next

Next episode:

What to Do When Other People Don’t Support the New You

Because change doesn’t just challenge you — it challenges the people around you.

Connect With Five Year You

Website & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice.

This conversation breaks habits into five simple, powerful categories that support your nervous system, protect your energy, build self-trust, and reinforce who you’re becoming. Instead of overwhelming routines or perfection-driven checklists, this episode offers a framework for habits that feel sustainable, human, and realistic.

If you’re building your Five Year You, this episode gives you the structure to do it without burnout or shame.

the-5-habit-categories-that-ali…

The 5 Habit Categories Explained

1. Self-Trust Habits

These habits rebuild your relationship with yourself.

1. Keeping small promises you make to yourself
2. Starting when you say you’ll start
3. Choosing habits you can keep even on hard days
4. Learning to become accountable to you, not just others

Self-trust is the foundation of every other habit.

2. Regulation Habits

These habits stabilize your nervous system so habits can actually stick.

1. Breathwork and pauses before reacting
2. Emotional regulation during stress or frustration
3. Creating calm in a world designed to overwhelm
4. Reducing emotional reactivity

You can’t build your future self from a constantly dysregulated body.

3. Identity-Confirming Habits

These habits reinforce who you are becoming.

1. Writers write
2. Movers move
3. Healthy people make health-aligned choices

Even tiny actions count. Every repetition sends your brain the message: This is who I am.

4. Boundary Habits

These habits protect your time, energy, and peace.

1. Saying no without over-explaining
2. Reducing people-pleasing behaviors
3. Letting go of habits, relationships, or patterns that drain you
4. Learning that what you tolerate teaches others how to treat you

Boundaries are often the hardest habits — and the most transformative.

5. Reflection Habits

These habits turn experience into wisdom.

1. Daily or weekly reflection
2. Asking why something felt hard or off
3. Noticing patterns instead of judging them
4. Course-correcting with compassion

Reflection keeps you conscious instead of reactive.

Key Takeaways

1. Habits are not about perfection — they’re about alignment
2. Small habits compound faster than dramatic overhauls
3. Regulation comes before discipline
4. Boundaries often matter more than adding new habits
5. Consistency builds identity, not intensity
6. Reflection turns mistakes into growth

Quotes from the Episode

“You don’t need to overhaul your life — you need habits that gently introduce your future self into the present one.”

“You can’t build a future self from a constantly overwhelmed nervous system.”

“What you tolerate teaches others how to treat you — and teaches you who you are.”

How to Get Started

1. Choose one habit category
2. Pick one tiny habit
3. Let consistency beat intensity
4. Rebuild self-trust slowly
5. Begin again without shame

Glimmers of the Week

Cat: Walking more, thrifting wins, and seeing their son experience the joy of reselling his first item.

Andrew: Finding rare thrift treasures — including Brioni and Hermès ties — and the thrill of small, unexpected wins.

What’s Coming Next

In the next episode, Andrew and Cat talk about how to stay consistent when change feels uncomfortable — and why most people stop right before things start working.

Connect with Five Year You

Website & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links mentioned may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20, Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Instead of white-knuckling routines or beating yourself up when habits don’t stick, this conversation reframes habits as small, daily votes for the person you’re becoming. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep falling off routines you want to maintain, this episode offers a gentler, more sustainable way forward.

Rather than asking “Why can’t I stick to habits?”, Andrew and Cat invite you to ask a different question:

“Who am I becoming?”

the-daily-habits-that-align-you…

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

1. Why habits fail when they’re rooted in pressure instead of identity
2. How identity change naturally creates behavior change
3. The difference between motivation and momentum
4. Why “future you” should be a mentor — not a critic
5. How small, imperfect habits compound into real transformation
6. Why consistency matters more than intensity
7. How to stop labeling yourself as “lazy” or “undisciplined”
8. Why habits should feel honest, not impressive

Key Concepts Discussed

Habits Follow Identity

You don’t become someone after you do the habits — you become someone by doing them.

Motivation Comes After Action

You don’t wait to feel motivated. You act first, and motivation follows.

Small Habits Build Self-Trust

Every tiny habit you keep is a vote for the future version of you.

Future You Is Cheering — Not Judging

Habits stick when your future self feels like a guide, not a taskmaster.

Aha Moments & Quotes

“You can’t change behavior without changing identity.”

“Every habit is a vote for the person you’re becoming.”

“Your future self isn’t built on your best days — it’s built on your normal ones.”

“Do the habits that feel honest, not the ones that feel impressive.”

“Small habits don’t look powerful — until they are.”

Practical Takeaways

1. Stop trying to overhaul your life all at once
2. Choose habits you can repeat on your worst days
3. Ask: Would future me appreciate this?
4. Focus on being someone who moves, not someone who “exercises perfectly”
5. Let habits be snack-sized and sustainable
6. When you miss a day, simply begin again — no shame required

Homework for Listeners

1. Visualize your Five Year You
2. Name them if it helps (seriously!)
3. Ask: What does this version of me do consistently?
4. Choose one small habit that aligns with that identity
5. Practice consistency — not perfection

Glimmers of the Week

Cat:

A cozy heated blanket on a cold Chicago day — comfort, warmth, and slowing down.

Andrew:

Seeing The Offspring live with his son — connection, nostalgia, and joy through shared experiences.

What’s Coming Next

In the next episode, Andrew and Cat break down the five core habit categories that align with your future self — offering a clear framework for choosing habits that actually stick.

Connect With Five Year You

1. Website & Coaching: https://fiveyearyou.com
2. Instagram: @fiveyearyou
3. Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or financial advice. Some episodes may reference tools, books, or resources that include affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20, Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

If you feel like something needs to change but you can’t quite name what, you’re not broken — you’re lacking clarity, not motivation. This conversation walks through how to identify the quiet clues your future self is already giving you, how to separate who you are from who you were taught to be, and how to decide who you are without pressure, panic, or blowing your life up.

Key Topics Covered

1. Why most people don’t change because of lack of clarity, not lack of motivation
2. The difference between being “lost” and being ready for alignment
3. How societal expectations shape identity without us realizing it
4. Why clarity doesn’t come from big decisions — it comes from noticing
5. Learning to listen to your internal voice instead of outside noise
6. How your body signals alignment vs. resistance
7. Why future clarity feels calm, not urgent or euphoric
8. The danger of confusing clarity with certainty
9. How opting out of societal scripts creates freedom
10. What childhood interests reveal about your natural wiring
11. Following energy instead of forcing ambition
12. Why discomfort is one of the best sources of information
13. How to explore identity without needing a full plan
14. Why this process should feel exciting, not heavy

Actionable Takeaways

1. Ask yourself: Who taught me who I should be?
2. Notice what repeatedly energizes you — that’s data.
3. Pay attention to what drains you — that’s data too.
4. Look for patterns, not lightning-bolt realizations.
5. Revisit what you loved as a child without judgment.
6. Separate identity from labels and job titles.
7. Stop waiting for certainty — clarity comes through movement.
8. Take one small step toward what feels aligned.
9. Let calm be your compass, not urgency.
10. Treat this process as exploration, not a test.

Quotes from the Episode

“You’re not lost — you’re just listening inward for the first time.”

“Clarity doesn’t feel urgent. It feels calm.”

“Your future self is already leaving clues in your life.”

“You don’t need a full vision — you just need the next honest step.”

Glimmers of the Week

Catherine: A surprise thrifting connection that turned into an unexpected, generous wardrobe handoff and a reminder of how aligned energy attracts aligned experiences.

Andrew: Relief from long-term jaw pain after a breakthrough physical therapy session — and the gratitude that comes with living without constant pain.

What’s Next

In the next episode of the Five Year You series, Andrew and Catherine explore how to build habits that align with the person you’re becoming — without forcing discipline or burning out.

Connect with Us

Website: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@fiveyearyou

Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links may be affiliate links.

Episode Overview

Reinvention doesn’t have to mean blowing up your life, burning bridges, or starting from zero. In this episode, Andrew and Catherine talk about how real, sustainable change actually happens — slowly, intentionally, and with respect for the life you’ve already built.

If you’ve ever felt called to become a new version of yourself but feared what it would cost your relationships, career, or sense of safety, this episode is for you. You’ll learn how to release old identities gently, navigate fear without letting it run the show, and grow in a way that feels stable instead of chaotic.

Key Topics Covered

1. Why reinvention feels so scary (and why that’s normal)
2. The difference between dramatic change and sustainable growth
3. How fear and safety keep us attached to old identities
4. Why “burn it all down” reinvention is mostly a myth
5. Honoring the version of you that got you here
6. Separating identity from behavior
7. How to evolve without erasing yourself
8. Why small, incremental change is more powerful than radical overhauls
9. Navigating relationship friction when you start changing
10. Setting quiet boundaries without over-explaining yourself
11. Allowing grief and excitement to coexist during growth
12. How to know if your reinvention is actually aligned

Actionable Takeaways

1. Acknowledge your current identity — it helped you survive and get here.
2. Start with 1% changes, not dramatic life explosions.
3. Replace control with structure, not rigidity.
4. Separate who you are from what you do — habits can change without self-rejection.
5. Expect some discomfort, especially in relationships, and allow time for adjustment.
6. Let your boundaries be quiet — not everything needs an announcement.
7. Notice calm as a signal that you’re changing in the right direction.
8. You’re allowed to grow gently, safely, and on your own timeline.

Quotes from the Episode

“Good is the enemy of great — and most people stay stuck because great feels unsafe.”

“You can evolve without erasing yourself.”

“Reinvention doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real.”

“You don’t have to burn your life down to build something better.”

Glimmers of the Week

Catherine: Snow days, quiet cocoon time, and permission to stay in without guilt.

Andrew: A solo day, thrifting, and embracing personal growth without rushing it.

What’s Next

In the next episode of the Five Year You series, Andrew and Catherine dive into how to get clear on the person you’re becoming — and how to stop guessing your way through change.

Connect with Us

Website: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@fiveyearyou

Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. Some links may be affiliate links.

“Why Starting Over Feels So Scary”, using your classic Five Year You podcast format (clean headings, readable sections, perfect for Apple Podcasts / Spotify / website).

Five Year You Podcast

Episode Title: Why Starting Over Feels So Scary

Hosts: Andrew Dewar & Cat Collins

EPISODE OVERVIEW

Starting over sounds inspiring… until you actually think about doing it.

In this episode, Andrew and Cat unpack why the idea of starting over triggers so much fear — even when you knowsomething in your life needs to change. They explore the psychology behind fear, identity attachment, sunk cost, and why staying stuck often feels safer than stepping into the unknown.

If you’ve ever felt called to a new version of yourself but found yourself frozen, overthinking, or staying where you are out of fear — this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT

• Why fear shows up right before growth

• How fear is designed to keep you safe — not fulfilled

• The difference between familiar pain and unfamiliar possibility

• The sunk cost fallacy and why it keeps people stuck

• Fear of losing your identity when you change

• Why being a beginner again feels threatening

• Fear of judgment and disappointing others

• Why staying stuck has a cost — even if it feels “safe”

• How time will pass whether you change or not

• Why curiosity is a more powerful guide than certainty

• How to explore change without burning your life down

KEY INSIGHTS

• Fear doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path — it means you’re at the edge of growth

• You don’t need clarity to start; clarity comes after movement

• Nothing you’ve done is wasted — every version of you counts

• Familiar discomfort often feels safer than unfamiliar freedom

• You’re allowed to evolve without having all the answers

PRACTICAL REFRAMES

• Fear is information, not a stop sign

• You don’t have to commit to change — you can simply get curious

• Starting over doesn’t mean erasing your past

• Small steps are safer for your nervous system than drastic moves

GLIMMERS OF THE WEEK

Cat: Enjoying small moments of self-expression and self-care, including makeup and nails that felt playful and grounding.

Andrew: Finding a pair of Air Jordans while thrifting — a reminder that joy and healing can come from unexpected places.

WHAT’S NEXT

In the next episode, Andrew and Cat explore:

“How to Let Go of Who You Used to Be Without Burning Your Life Down”

Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss it.

WORK WITH US

Learn more about coaching and upcoming programs:

https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching

CONNECT WITH US

Website: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who’s quietly considering a new beginning.

Fear doesn’t mean stop — it means something new is trying to emerge.

In this episode, Andrew and Cat explore the quiet but powerful feeling many people experience when they’re ready for growth: the sense that the current version of yourself no longer fits. This conversation unpacks why this feeling shows up, what it actually means, and how to listen to it without burning your life down.

This episode is about identity shifts, alignment, and understanding that wanting more doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful—it means you’re evolving.

Key Topics Covered

• Why feeling unsettled is often a sign of growth, not failure
• The difference between wanting to escape and wanting to align
• Why adults lose permission to explore new versions of themselves
• How future-self awareness begins before action
• Why growth can feel uncomfortable even when it’s right
• How fear shows up when your identity starts to change
• Why imagining a future version of yourself is meaningful
• Letting go of outdated goals, habits, and identities
• Why growth doesn’t require drastic life changes

Actionable Takeaways

1. Notice the Nudge – Pay attention to feelings of restlessness or misalignment instead of suppressing them.
2. Name What’s Changing – Ask yourself what no longer fits instead of what’s “wrong.”
3. Release the Pressure – Growth doesn’t require immediate action or dramatic decisions.
4. Honor Both Truths – You can be grateful for your life and still want more.
5. Think in Small Shifts – Identity change happens through awareness and micro-adjustments over time.

Key Quotes

“You don’t imagine a future version of yourself unless you’re meant to move toward it.”

“Wanting more doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re ready.”

“This isn’t about starting over. It’s about alignment.”

Reflection Questions

• What feels outdated in my life right now?
• What part of me is asking for growth or expansion?
• If I trusted this calling, what might it be pointing me toward?

Glimmers of the Episode

Andrew reflects on recognizing subtle internal shifts before big changes.

Cat shares the relief that comes from realizing growth doesn’t have to be dramatic or destructive.

Continue the Journey

This episode begins the Five Year You series.

Next Episode:

Why Starting Over Feels So Scary (And What Staying Stuck Is Really Costing You)

Work With Us

Coaching and resources available at:

https://fiveyearyou.com/coaching

Connect With Five Year You

Website: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou

Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. Some links may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Every year, millions of people set New Year’s resolutions — and by mid-January, most of them feel frustrated, discouraged, or convinced they’ve failed. In this episode, Andrew and Cat break down why resolutions so often fall apart, why it’s not a personal flaw, and what actually works if you want real, lasting change.

This conversation is about releasing shame, understanding how your brain and nervous system work, and building habits that support who you’re becoming — not punishing yourself into change.

In this episode, we talk about:

1. Why most resolutions fail by design
2. How going “too big, too fast” overwhelms your nervous system
3. The difference between goals driven by shame vs. excitement
4. Why motivation doesn’t come first — action does
5. How identity-based habits outperform willpower
6. Why systems matter more than motivation
7. How overwhelm leads to avoidance and freeze mode
8. Why rest and flexibility are part of consistency

Why resolutions usually don’t work:

1. They’re too vague (“get healthy,” “be better,” “lose weight”)
2. They’re rooted in self-criticism instead of care
3. They rely on motivation instead of systems
4. They ignore real life stress, illness, and bad days
5. They don’t account for who you actually are

What actually works instead:

Start smaller than feels necessary

Tiny, achievable actions build momentum. Big goals still matter — but they must be broken into bite-sized steps your brain can handle.

Create systems, not rules

Motivation fades. Systems stay. Decide how you’ll show up on hard days, not just what you’ll do on perfect ones.

Build identity-based habits

Instead of “I need to work out,” try:

1. “I’m someone who moves every day”
2. “I’m someone who shows up, even imperfectly”

Know yourself honestly

Some people need accountability. Others don’t. There’s no shame — just strategy.

Plan for real life

Have a Plan B for sick days, stressful weeks, and low-energy moments. Missing one day doesn’t break a habit — quitting does.

Action creates motivation

Don’t wait to feel inspired. Do the smallest version of the habit — motivation will follow.

Helpful reframes we love:

1. Change driven by shame rarely survives stress
2. Overwhelm triggers avoidance
3. Pausing does not erase progress
4. Rest is part of consistency
5. Showing up imperfectly still counts

A reminder we hope you take with you:

You don’t need to overhaul your entire life this year. One small, consistent shift can change everything over time. You’re not behind — you’re building.

Glimmers:

Catherine’s glimmer is the joy of knowing Andrew is heading to the airport to see her after recording.

Andrew’s glimmer is the same — gratitude, connection, and getting to be together after a stretch apart.

If this episode resonated with you, follow the show, leave a review, or share it with someone who’s feeling discouraged about starting over.

We’re with you — one small step at a time.

This conversation is for anyone who tends to replay rejection over and over, spiral into self-blame, or wonder what’s “wrong” with them after hearing no.

In this episode, we talk about:

1. Why rejection activates the brain’s pain centers
2. How rejection threatens belonging, not your value
3. The difference between what happened and the story you tell yourself
4. Why rejection often feels like an identity attack
5. How timing, fit, and context matter more than personal failure
6. Why being rejected doesn’t mean you were evaluated fairly
7. How to stop internalizing rejection and move forward with confidence

Helpful mindset shifts:

1. Rejection is an event, not a verdict
2. Not being chosen doesn’t mean you’re unworthy
3. You don’t need universal approval to belong
4. Rejection often protects you from misalignment
5. One “no” does not define your future

Practical ways to handle rejection:

1. Let yourself feel disappointed without shaming yourself
2. Name the emotion instead of becoming it
3. Separate facts from assumptions
4. Reconnect with moments where you have been chosen
5. Keep your identity bigger than one outcome

A reminder we hope you take with you:

You are not your last rejection. You are allowed to grieve it — and you are allowed to move on without carrying it as proof of anything about you.

Glimmers:

Andrew shares a moment of calm and presence before a busy season, while Cat reflects on the joy of a slow, grounding day spent resetting her space and energy.

This is your guide to calming your nervous system, grounding in the present, and giving yourself the compassion you actually need.

Key Topics Covered

1. Why your brain goes into “fight, flight, or freeze” during a bad day
2. How overstimulation + emotional flooding make everything feel worse
3. The Window of Tolerance and why you pop out of it
4. Why powering through backfires
5. What not to do after a bad day
6. Simple grounding techniques that work in minutes
7. How to shift your environment and regulate your nervous system
8. How to stop the negative momentum before it becomes a bad week

Actionable Steps to Reset

1. Acknowledge You’re Having a Bad Day

Normalize it: “This is a bad day. It’s temporary.”

Awareness interrupts the mental tumble.

2. Ground Yourself in Your Body

When your mind spins, your body’s in survival mode. Try:

1. Box breathing (4–4–4–4)
2. Double inhale + long exhale
3. Rubbing your arms
4. Feet planted firmly on the ground
5. Repeating: “I am safe right now.”

3. Move the Stuck Energy Out

Bad days create physical tension. Release it with:

1. A fast walk
2. Gentle stretching
3. Shaking out your limbs
4. A moment of dancing
5. Stomping your feet (great for kids and adults)

Movement shifts your physiology faster than thoughts ever will.

4. Change Your Environment

Your nervous system needs a scene shift:

1. Step outside for fresh air and sunlight
2. Splash cold water on your face
3. Take a warm shower (Cat’s dad’s universal cure!)

A new environment interrupts the emotional loop.

5. Regulate & Co-Regulate

Once calmer, try:

1. Tea or cool water
2. A short nap
3. A self-hug or safe, comforting touch
4. Journaling what triggered you
5. Asking for a hug from someone you trust

6. Drop the Story

Your brain wants to replay the bad moment a hundred times.

Interrupt it with: “I don’t need to carry this anymore.”

What Not to Do After a Bad Day

1. Don’t force positivity (“I’m fine” makes it worse)
2. Don’t ruminate — replaying it keeps the stress alive
3. Don’t doom scroll
4. Don’t isolate yourself
5. Don’t make major decisions
6. Don’t self-criticize

Treat yourself how you’d treat someone you love — gently.

Quotes from the Episode

“A bad day isn’t a bad life — unless you carry it into tomorrow.”

“Your body needs to reset before your mind can.”

“Treat yourself the way you’d treat a child you adore on a hard day.”

Cat’s Aha Moments

1. Realizing she was dysregulated without noticing it — and how helpful it is when someone gently mirrors that back.
2. The reminder that pushing through only leads to overwhelm, overreacting, and unnecessary conflict.

Andrew’s Aha Moments

1. Understanding the hyperarousal → hypoarousal cycle and why his body sometimes “checks out.”
2. Recognizing that the reset must happen in the body before the mind can calm down.

Glimmers of the Week

Cat: The Calm App’s bedtime stories — helping her fall asleep faster and wake up more regulated.

Andrew: Also the Calm App — loving the guided stories and the noticeable shift in his nervous system.

Resources Mentioned

1. Calm App (Meditations + Sleep Stories)
2. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00Y3TM6CO?tag=5yy-20
3. Aromatherapy Shower Steamers
4. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09LVQZ3Z5?tag=5yy-20
5. Weighted Blanket for Regulation
6. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RZ8FJLT?tag=5yy-20

Connect with Us

Website: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@fiveyearyou

Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional mental health or medical advice. Always seek help from a qualified provider for personal concerns.

Some links may be affiliate links.

As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20

This episode is especially for anyone who feels overwhelmed, disconnected, grieving, resentful, or simply “not into it” this year. You’re not broken — you’re human.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Why Christmas can feel emotionally heavy instead of joyful

• The unrealistic pressure placed on parents (especially moms) during the holidays

• How social media amplifies comparison, guilt, and expectations

• Why it’s okay to feel joy and sadness at the same time

• How grief shows up during the holidays — and why there’s no “right” way to do Christmas

• The difference between meaningful moments and overdoing gifts and traditions

• How to stop people-pleasing and start honoring your own emotional needs

Key Takeaways

You’re not broken if you’re not feeling festive

If Christmas feels hard this year, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Stress, grief, loss, illness, burnout, and family dynamics all get amplified during the holidays.

Christmas is an amplifier

Whatever you’re already feeling — joy, exhaustion, grief, loneliness — tends to feel bigger this time of year. That doesn’t make those feelings bad or wrong.

More effort doesn’t equal more joy

Doing more traditions, buying more gifts, or spending more money doesn’t guarantee happiness. Often, it just leads to more stress and resentment.

Kids remember how you felt, not what you bought

Children are far more likely to remember experiences, presence, and emotional safety than the number of presents under the tree.

Grief and gratitude can coexist

You can miss someone deeply and still appreciate the people or moments you have now. Smiling doesn’t mean you’ve “moved on,” and sadness doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.

Practical Ways to Enjoy Christmas (Your Way)

Design Christmas around your emotional needs

Ask yourself:

– Do I need calm or excitement this year?

– Do I want togetherness or more quiet?

– What would actually help me feel rested or supported?

There is no correct answer — only your answer.

Simplify traditions

Traditions don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Small, repeatable comforts can be just as meaningful:

– One favorite movie

– A quiet morning

– Driving around to look at lights

– A simple meal

– One meaningful gift

You’re allowed to start new traditions or pause old ones.

Set boundaries without guilt

You’re allowed to:

– Say no to travel

– Leave early

– Stay home

– Skip events

– Change plans

Disappointing others doesn’t mean you’ve failed — it means you’re honoring yourself.

If you’re grieving, do what feels safest

Recreating old traditions might hurt — or it might help. Either choice is valid. Staying home is not “giving up.” It’s creating space to heal.

Stop forcing cheer

You don’t need to fix the mood, perform happiness, or make everyone feel joyful. Let emotions come and go naturally.

What Not to Do This Christmas

• Don’t force happiness or cheer

• Don’t compare your holiday to social media

• Don’t shame yourself for how you’re feeling

• Don’t override your needs to meet expectations

• Don’t assume this year defines every future Christmas

Glimmers from This Episode

Cat’s glimmer:

Getting to pet the wiggliest, happiest puppy — a simple moment of pure joy and connection.

Andrew’s glimmer:

A morning walk, sunlight, smiling at neighbors, and seeing someone light up from a simple “good morning.”

Sometimes hope and joy come from the smallest moments.

Final Reminder

You don’t need to love Christmas to be doing it “right.”

You don’t need to do more to be enough.

You don’t need to feel happy all day to have a meaningful holiday.

Getting through it — with honesty, boundaries, and self-compassion — is enough.

Merry Christmas.

You’re not alone.

Big ideas

• Loneliness ≠ isolation. You can feel lonely in a crowded room because connection is about being understood, not just being around others.
• Your brain lies. The stories you tell yourself — “I’m a burden,” “no one cares,” “I wasn’t invited because I’m not liked” — aren’t facts.
• It’s often rooted in old wounds. Many of us learned as kids to minimize our needs, which makes adult connection harder.
• You can rewire the story. Self-compassion and awareness can help you separate what happened from what you made it mean.
• Connection takes courage. Reaching out feels scary, but it’s the antidote to loneliness.

Key takeaways

1️⃣ Name the lie. When your brain says, “nobody cares,” replace it with: “No one knows I need them right now.”

2️⃣ Reach out first. Send a text, share a funny video, or ask for a coffee. Don’t wait for an invitation — give one.

3️⃣ Borrow hope. When you see others connecting, use it as proof that connection is possible for you too.

4️⃣ Say what you need. “Can we talk?” or “I’ve been feeling disconnected” is honest — not needy.

5️⃣ Get around people. Go for a walk, smile at strangers, sit in a café — you’ll feel energy shift just by being among others.

6️⃣ Rebuild inner connection. Remind yourself of your worth: write down moments when you’ve been a good friend, helper, or listener.

7️⃣ Shift focus outward. Helping others — even small acts — often dissolves your own loneliness.

Gentle scripts to try

• “Hey, I’ve been thinking of you. How have you been?”
• “I could use a chat today — do you have time to catch up?”
• “Want to grab a quick coffee this week?”
• “I saw this and it made me think of you.”

Every message doesn’t have to be deep — just real.

Quotes & reflections

“Your brain lies — you’re not a burden, you’re a blessing.”

“Loneliness is the space between your heart reaching out and your fear holding back.”

“Every time you smile at someone, you remind them — and yourself — that we’re all in this together.”

Glimmers

• Cat: Trader Joe’s ready-made dinners — giving herself grace and ease in a busy week. 🍝
• Andrew: Binge-watching Stranger Things guilt-free — sometimes comfort and escape are self-care. 📺

If you’re struggling deeply

You are not alone. If you’re in crisis or feeling hopeless, reach out for help right now:

• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) — call or text 988
• Canada Suicide Prevention Service — call or text 988
• U.K. Samaritans — call 116 123
• Australia Lifeline — call 13 11 14
• Or visit findahelpline.com for international options

Connect

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Big ideas

• Boredom isn’t bad. It’s a signal — not a failure. It’s your brain’s way of saying, “We’ve mastered this level. Time to evolve.”
• Comfort kills curiosity. The more predictable your life becomes, the less stimulation your brain gets.
• There are two kinds of boredom:
• Situational boredom — nothing to do.
• Existential boredom — plenty to do, but nothing excites you.
• Tiny novelties matter. You don’t need to blow up your life; even small changes reignite joy.

Key takeaways

1️⃣ Add micro-novelties. Try a new coffee shop, walk a different route, or rearrange a room — fresh experiences reawaken your senses.

2️⃣ Stay curious. Learn something new just for the fun of it — a language, an instrument, or even a random hobby.

3️⃣ Reconnect with purpose. If your kids, job, or routines no longer “need” you the same way, find new outlets for meaning.

4️⃣ Let boredom guide you. Sometimes it’s not about doing more — it’s about resting deeply.

5️⃣ Reach out. Loneliness often hides behind “busy.” Text the friend you’ve been missing — they’ll probably be relieved you did.

Small shifts to spark excitement

• Replace scrolling with doing. Ten minutes of learning beats an hour of endless swiping.
• Start a “Done List.” Track what you accomplished today instead of what’s missing.
• Take curiosity breaks. Watch a documentary, visit a farmer’s market, or read about something new.
• Try the Groundhog Day reframe: Instead of escaping monotony, add playfulness to it — like Bill Murray learning piano and French.
• Practice boredom without guilt. Rest is not laziness; it’s restoration.

Quotes & reflections

“Boredom is your brain’s way of inviting you to grow again.”

“The plateau isn’t punishment — it’s a charging station.”

“You don’t have to burn it all down to feel alive again.”

Glimmers

• Cat: Recording in person with Andrew in their Canada home — first time in ages and totally glimmery. 🇨🇦
• Andrew: Finally solving the technical setup to make it happen — and proving that collaboration always feels better than perfection.

Connect

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Big ideas

• People want to feel seen. Listening and showing genuine interest makes you instantly more likable.
• Authenticity beats performance. Pretending to be someone you’re not always backfires — real connection comes from honesty.
• Kindness counts. The way you treat others (servers, coworkers, strangers) reveals your character more than anything you say.
• The “likeability loop.” When you care about people, they feel good — and associate that feeling with you.

The Likability Blueprint

1️⃣ Show genuine curiosity. Ask thoughtful questions about people’s lives, interests, and stories.

2️⃣ Listen more than you talk. Don’t wait for your turn — truly hear them.

3️⃣ Remember details. Use your phone notes if needed. Mention their kids, trips, or hobbies later — people feel valued.

4️⃣ Smile and use names. A person’s name is their favorite sound; it builds warmth instantly.

5️⃣ Talk in their terms. Discuss what they enjoy — sports, travel, hobbies — even if it’s new to you.

6️⃣ Be kind to everyone. Your behavior toward strangers says more than words ever will.

7️⃣ Don’t gossip. If you talk about others negatively, people assume you’ll do the same to them.

8️⃣ Initiate connection. Don’t wait to be approached — say hello, make eye contact, and be the one who starts the conversation.

Quick wins

• Use the “two-question rule.” After someone answers your first question, ask one follow-up that shows you were listening.
• Practice micro-connections. Compliment a stranger’s outfit, greet your barista, or check in with a coworker.
• Note their world. “How was your beach trip?” hits differently than “How are you?”
• Mirror energy. Match people’s tone and pace naturally — it creates subconscious comfort.

Quotes & reminders

“People don’t remember what you said — they remember how you made them feel.”

“Kindness and curiosity never go out of style.”

“You don’t need everyone to like you — just the right ones.”

Glimmers

• Cat: Domino’s gluten-free pepperoni and pineapple pizza — the ultimate cozy reward after recording. 🍕
• Andrew: Dinner with his daughter and her boyfriend — a milestone moment and reminder that connection starts with listening.

Connect

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Big ideas

• Peace is an inside job. Calm isn’t the absence of chaos — it’s your ability to stay centered within it.
• Boundaries = self-respect. Setting and keeping boundaries may upset others, but it’s how you teach people how to treat you.
• You can’t please everyone. Someone will always be disappointed — make sure it’s not you.
• Guilt isn’t a compass. Feeling guilty after saying no doesn’t mean you’re wrong; it means you’re growing.
• External calm starts with internal clarity. What drains your peace most — your schedule, your phone, or your thoughts?

Key takeaways

1️⃣ Define peace for yourself. Is it quiet time, emotional balance, or simply less chaos? You can’t protect what you can’t define.

2️⃣ Stop overcommitting. Every “yes” to others is a “no” to your own calm.

3️⃣ Set clear, kind boundaries. “I’m not available that day” is a complete sentence.

4️⃣ Handle guilt with compassion. You’re not being selfish — you’re creating a more peaceful version of you.

5️⃣ Don’t absorb other people’s storms. Be supportive without taking on their chaos.

6️⃣ Create peace rituals. Start mornings quietly, take digital breaks, and end the day tech-free.

7️⃣ Limit news intake. You can be informed without being overwhelmed.

Practice these peace-protecting habits

• Take a “no explanation” day: decline plans without justifying it.
• Zip up your energy: visualize a protective bubble before entering stressful environments.
• Replace doomscrolling with sunlight and movement.
• Offer an alternative plan when saying no (“Can we meet for lunch next month instead?”).
• Mute notifications — your peace doesn’t need a ping.

Mindset shifts

• “Rest isn’t lazy — it’s leadership.”
• “Clarity is kind.”
• “I can love people and still say no.”
• “My peace is my responsibility.”

Glimmers

• Cat: Their Instagram video of Andrew playing guitar went viral — proof that consistency and creativity pay off. 🎸
• Andrew: His post-surgery checkup showed major healing progress — a powerful reminder that slow recovery isprogress.

Connect

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Personal growth is beautiful — until it’s not. In this episode, Andrew and Cat talk about the hidden fatigue that comes with healing, self-development, and “always improving.” They unpack why the messy middle is normal, why growth never really ends, and how to rest without guilt.

Big ideas

• Growth is cyclical, not linear. You’re not failing — you’re just in a different season.
• The messy middle matters. No one talks about the “in-between” years where progress feels invisible.
• Fatigue is feedback, not failure. Your body and mind need recovery as much as your muscles do.
• Judgment makes it worse. Beating yourself up for being human delays your healing.
• Rest is part of growth. Pausing helps new habits take root.

Key takeaways

1️⃣ Redefine success. There’s no “finish line” to personal growth. It’s a lifelong practice.

2️⃣ Accept regression as recalibration. Two steps forward, one pizza back (as Andrew says). It’s all part of the process.

3️⃣ Track what you did, not what you missed. Cat’s “reverse to-do list” builds perspective and gratitude.

4️⃣ Beware the comparison trap. Everyone has a different deck of cards — focus on your own hand.

5️⃣ Switch it up. If your routines feel heavy, try a new form of movement, journaling, or rest.

6️⃣ Recognize seasons. Some months are for pushing forward; others are for digesting what you’ve learned.

Signs you might be burned out from growth

• Constant fatigue or mental fog
• Loss of joy in “self-care” routines
• Guilt for resting or taking breaks
• Feeling like nothing is ever enough

Small shifts that help

• Write a “done list” instead of a to-do list.
• Take micro-breaks during the day — stillness counts.
• Build seasonal awareness: winter = rest, spring = renewal.
• Remind yourself: “I am not behind. I’m evolving.”

Quotes & reflections

“You’re chasing a sunset you’ll never catch — so pause, turn around, and notice how far you’ve come.”

“Rest is not the reward for growth; it’s the requirement.”

“Even growth needs recovery days.”

Glimmers

• Cat: A golden fall day in Chicago — crisp air, bright sun, and a long peaceful walk. 🍂
• Andrew: Cozy weekend show (“Nobody Wants This”) — proof that slowing down can feel just as good as achieving.

Connect

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Ever been told you’re “not fun” or “too serious”? Andrew and Cat unpack what fun actually means — and why chasing other people’s version of it leaves you drained. This episode helps you redefine fun on your own terms, whether that means karaoke nights or coloring budget charts.

Big ideas

• Fun got complicated. It used to be sticks and puddles; now it’s overpriced trips and curated weekends.
• There’s a bias toward extroverts. The world rewards loud, social fun — but quiet joy counts too.
• Authenticity = happiness. True fun begins when you do what genuinely lights you up, not what’s “supposed to.”
• Stop “should-ing” your joy. You don’t owe anyone attendance at events that drain you.

The “Fun Framework”

1️⃣ Define your fun. What genuinely delights you — not what looks fun to others?

2️⃣ Drop guilt. Rest and relaxation are productive; joy refuels creativity.

3️⃣ Practice authenticity. Say “no” to misaligned plans; say “yes” to what feels right.

4️⃣ Four ingredients of fun:

• Freedom – Do things with no outcome attached.
• Presence – Be here, not in your head.
• Connection – Lose track of time with people or passions that sync with you.
• Expression – Let the real you show up (no armor, no performance).
• 5️⃣ Replace FOMO with ROMO (Relief of Missing Out). Enjoy skipping the plans you never wanted anyway.
• 6️⃣ Audit your joy. When was the last time you lost track of time? Start there.

Mindset Shifts

• “Suffering through someone else’s fun is still suffering.”
• “Fun doesn’t have to be expensive, impressive, or loud.”
• “When you say no to what drains you, you say yes to what fills you.”
• “Joy lives in small pockets — coffee chats, thrift hunts, puppy cuddles.”

Practical Ideas

• Try a joy audit: list five activities that make you feel alive.
• Add micro-fun moments — a walk, a playlist, a puzzle, or your favorite meal.
• Revisit childhood joy: What did little-you love? Can you bring that back now?
• Find your people: When you’re authentically yourself, the right friends appear.

Glimmers

• Cat: Fully funded her emergency fund after years of work — and found joy in tracking the goal.
• Andrew: Traveling to England with his daughter and seeing her reaction to Big Ben for the first time — pure magic.

Connect

• Website: fiveyearyou.com
• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Big ideas

• Hope ≠ denial. It accepts reality and imagines a different future.
• Your brain likes anticipation. Even the thought that “this can get better” gives a healthy dopamine lift.
• Grief comes first. Feel it to free it. Then take one gentle step forward.
• Stories shape state. Borrow hope from people who’ve pushed through setbacks.

Try this (tiny, today)

1. One good thing prompt: On waking, ask: “Why is today going to be great?” Name one simple thing (first coffee, a walk, clean sheets).
2. Anchor to the present: 3 slow breaths + notice 3 things you can see/hear/feel.
3. Borrow hope: Read or listen to a perseverance story (dating later in life, 52nd lender said yes, etc.).
4. Move a little: Sunlight on your face, a 10-minute walk, stretch by a window.
5. Purpose pebble: Do one small helpful act—smile at a neighbor, text a check-in, hold the door.
6. Future-you assist: Ask, “What tiny thing would future me thank me for tonight?” Then do just that.

Mindset shifts

• “Maybe there’s more for me.”
• “I’ve done hard things before; I can do hard things again.”
• “I only need a spark, not the full lighthouse.”

What erodes hope (and what helps)

• Chronic stress, disappointment, self-blame → Practice self-compassion; feel feelings, don’t camp there.
• Doom-scrolling, heavy inputs → Curate feeds toward light, learning, and real connection.
• No direction → Choose a tiny purpose for today (make one person smile).

Glimmers

• Cat: The pure joy of petting the wiggliest puppy—five minutes of instant hope.
• Andrew: Morning sun + saying “good morning” on a short walk—connection lifts everyone.

If you’re struggling right now

You’re not alone, and help is available 24/7. If you think you might act on thoughts of self-harm, seek immediate help:

• United States & Canada: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).
• United States (text): Text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line).
• Canada (call): 1-833-456-4566; text 45645 (Talk Suicide Canada, evenings).
• United Kingdom & ROI: 116 123 (Samaritans).
• Australia: 13 11 14 (Lifeline).
• Emergency: Call your local emergency number (911 / 999 / 112) if you’re in immediate danger.

If you’re outside these regions, contact your local health services or search for your country’s suicide prevention hotline.

Stay connected

• Say hi / coaching inquiries: hello@fiveyearyou.com
• IG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)

We’re glad you’re here. Keep going—one small step, one spark at a time.

Big ideas

• Control ≠ safety. It’s often an anxious mind trying to predict pain.
• It’s an illusion anyway. Habits create predictability, but outcomes are never guaranteed.
• There’s a relationship cost. Trying to steer other adults (or teens) breeds resentment; “let them” is often the loving move.
• Trade control for structure. Plan your response, not everyone else’s behavior.

A gentler way forward (step-by-step)

1. Awareness > autopilot
2. Notice where you micromanage and name the need under it: “I want to feel safe / prepared / not blindsided.”
3. Micro-win: say it out loud or jot one line in your Notes app.
4. Own what’s yours
5. You don’t control kids, partners, coworkers, traffic, weather, or ride closures. You do control: your breath, tone, posture, words, boundaries, and next action.
6. Replace control with structure
7. Swap rigid scripts for implementation intentions:

• “If the plan changes, I’ll take 4 slow breaths, then choose the most loving next step.”
• “If a child melts down, we pause 10 minutes—shade, water, snack—then reassess.”
• Structure calms you without corralling everyone else.

1. Micro-uncertainty reps (build the tolerance muscle)

• Take a different route home.
• Try a new appetizer while keeping your go-to entrée.
• Sit in a different seat at the table/meeting.
• Leave a 30-minute block unscheduled—and let it stay unscheduled.
• Celebrate the reps, not the results.

1. Regulate before you react
2. Control spikes when your nervous system is hot. Downshift first, then decide. Quick options: box breathing, sensory grounding, a 60-second shake-out, cool water on your face, brief step outside.
3. → Want guided, under-a-minute resets? Try our Quick Calm Method: seven micro-tools we use daily. fiveyearyou.com/calm

Tiny scripts that help

• “I’m noticing I want to control this because I care. I’m going to choose calm first.”
• “Here’s the plan, and it’s OK if we pivot.”
• “I can’t choose for you; I can choose how I respond.”

Signs you’re loosening your grip

• Fewer replays in your head after plans shift.
• More laughter when things go “off script.”
• Kids/partners volunteer more because they feel less managed.

Glimmers

• Cat: Flying to Canada to see Andrew today—so excited for an in-person hug!
• Andrew: Finished The DOSE Effect by TJ Power—practical ways to retrain brain chemistry and feel better. Loved it.

Links & extras

• Quick Calm Method (video course, < 60 minutes): fiveyearyou.com/calm
• Say hi / coaching inquiries: hello@fiveyearyou.com
• IG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Big ideas

• Co-regulation beats commands. “Breathe with me” works; “calm down” doesn’t.
• Not all “wellness” fits all bodies. For ~30% of people, traditional meditation or cold plunges can spike anxiety; choose nervous-system-friendly options that work for you.
• You can flip a day in 60 seconds. Micro-resets interrupt spirals and change the tone for you (and everyone around you).

The Quick Calm Method (highlights from the episode)

1. Breath Reset (Box Breathing, etc.)
2. Short, shallow breaths tell your brain there’s danger. Slow, counted exhales flip you back into rest-and-digest. Great solo—or co-regulate by breathing together.
3. Cat used this walking from the car to the apartment—under a minute—to avoid snapping and stay “safe space” for her son.
4. Grounding Reset
5. Get out of your head and into your senses (sight, sound, touch). Anchors you to reality when the mind starts catastrophizing.
6. Body Reset
7. Stress lives in your muscles. Quick, discrete movements (yes, even a tiny office-friendly “shake out”) discharge that pent-up energy so it doesn’t leak out as irritability. Cue the giggles.
8. Mini-Meditation Reset
9. A guided 60–120s visualization to power-wash mental noise. Works for many; if meditation ramps you up, skip it and use breath/grounding instead.
10. Laughter Reset
11. Fake a laugh to spark a real one, recall a reliably funny clip, or replay a personal “can’t-not-laugh” memory. Physiology shifts, chemistry follows.

Want the step-by-step videos? Get the course: fiveyearyou.com/calm

When to use which

• Rising irritability / about to walk into a meeting: Breath Reset → Grounding (2–3 min total)
• Anger with lots of body tension: Body Reset, then Breath (2–4 min)
• Spiral/rumination loop: Grounding → Mini-Meditation (2–3 min)
• Household mood reset: Laughter Reset + 30-second family dance (1–2 min)

Micro-scripts that help

• “I want to hear you. Can we take 4 slow breaths together first?”
• “I’m doing a quick reset so I can respond, not react.”
• “Let’s turn the day around.” (spin, shake, smile—pattern interrupt!)

Glimmers

• Andrew: Loving the Pulsetto vagus-nerve stim—paired with our resets, I’m noticeably calmer day-to-day.
• Cat: First real fall day in Chicago—cool walks, crunchy leaves, instant nervous-system sigh. 🍂

Links & extras

• Quick Calm Method (video course, < 60 minutes total): fiveyearyou.com/calm
• Email us what worked for you: hello@fiveyearyou.com
• IG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Big ideas

• Reframe “have to” → “get to.” (“I get to make my teenager breakfast.” “I get to have coffee.”)
• Joy is a muscle. Start from where you are and build reps with small, repeatable practices.
• Presence is the new luxury. Attention given to a person or moment = the rarest gift.
• Gratitude by subtraction. Imagine losing a simple ability (driving, using an arm) to feel instant thanks.
• Choose richer dopamine. Swap “cheap hits” (doomscrolling, impulse buys) for slow joys (plants, cooking, conversation).
• Design tiny rituals. Little, reliable delights (the “third cup” flavored coffee, sun crystals, herbs growing) anchor your day.

Joy-in-the-Ordinary Playbook

1. Awareness: Notice you want more joy—great. That’s step one.
2. Rename the moments: Commute → “podcast walk;” dishes → “gratitude reset;” bedtime → “cozy ritual.”
3. One-sense check-in: Pause to smell coffee, feel a soft blanket, or notice morning light.
4. Threshold ritual: Each time you pass a doorway, smile or take one slow breath and whisper “joy.”
5. Daily delight photo: Snap one picture of something that delighted you today.
6. 1–1–1 gratitude: Say aloud one person, one object, and one moment you’re grateful for.
7. Zero-dollar joy hunt: Celebrate what you already own (favorite mug, a comfy couch, that perfect blow dryer).
8. Grow something: Herbs in a counter garden or a hardy plant (self-watering pots help!).
9. Protect presence: Put the phone away with people you love; use social media as a tool, not a reflex.
10. Teach it forward: Model joy-finding for kids (and delay the dopamine machine as long as you can).

Fast ideas from the episode

• Savor a “special” cup (save a flavored coffee for your last cup).
• Hang sun crystals to splash rainbows across the room.
• Try a micro-reset: inhale + exhale whenever you enter a new room.
• Keep plants you’ll actually keep alive (hello, self-watering pots).
• Practice gratitude by subtraction: what ordinary thing would you miss if it were gone?

Mentioned

• The DOSE Effect — TJ Power (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins and how to get them the healthy way)

Glimmers

• Andrew: “The glimmer is… the glimmers.” Making tiny joys a habit changed how I feel daily.
• Cat: Self-watering planters—travel-friendly and my plants are thriving. 🌿

Keep in touch

• Instagram & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)
• Email: hello@fiveyearyou.com
• Site & freebies: fiveyearyou.com

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Big ideas

• Overthinking ≠ problem-solving. It’s a certainty-seeking loop fueled by anxiety.
• Awareness is step one. “I’m trying to change what can’t be changed” stops past-focused spirals.
• Name it to tame it. Label the pattern (“I’m catastrophizing” / “Amy* is yapping again”) to reduce its grip.
• *Amy = your “amygdala alarm”—a playful mental cue.
• Interrupt the loop. Pattern-breakers (breath, movement, grounding) shift brain states.
• Get it out of your head. Journal, voice-notes, therapist, trusted friend—externalize the swirl.
• You already know more than you think. Get still; your body’s “yes/no” shows up fast.
• Action ends rumination. Any small next step beats spinning in maybe-land.

The Anti-Overthinking Playbook

1. Spot it: “I’m looping.” (Awareness)
2. Label it: “This is catastrophizing / future-tripping / should-storming.” (Name to tame)
3. Pattern break (pick one):

• Box breathing 4–4–4–4 (1–2 min)
• 5–4–3–2–1 grounding (see/hear/feel)
• 10–15 minute walk (movement beats rumination)
• Hand on heart, slow breaths (drop from head → body)

1. Externalize: 60-second brain dump (paper or voice note). If it’s still noisy, share with a therapist or trusted person.
2. Choose one: Flip a coin or ask: “What would Future Me thank me for?” Notice your gut reaction → decide.
3. Micro-action: One concrete step within 5–10 minutes (email, calendar block, checklist start).
4. If it returns: Repeat. You’re building a new habit, not chasing perfection.

Quick scripts & mental cues

• Sleep cue: Silently repeat, “I’m not thinking” for ~60–90 seconds; return to breath when you drift.
• Yappy-dog reframe: “Thanks, Amy. Into the crate you go—I’ll revisit this at 4pm.” (Schedule the worry window.)
• Self-compassion: “I’m worrying because I care. I can choose peace by taking one small action.”

Tools Cat & Andrew use

• “Worry window” (10–15 min/day) to contain rumination
• Movement first: short walk, light chores, or stretching whenever loops start
• Coin-toss clarity to surface true preference
• Heart-breath check-in before decisions

Reframes to keep

• No wrong choices. Every decision is a result or a lesson. Both move you forward.
• Indecision is a decision. You’re choosing anxiety over momentum—pick a tiny step instead.

Glimmers

• Cat: A three-day weekend to reset and prep for Andrew’s visit.
• Andrew: Packing to fly out—looking forward to time together.

Resources mentioned (friendly starting points)

• Nonviolent Communication — Marshall B. Rosenberg (for clear needs/requests)
• Grounding & breath practices (box breathing, 5-4-3-2-1)

Stay connected

Questions, coaching, or topic requests: hello@fiveyearyou.com

More episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.com

IG: @fiveyearyou

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Big ideas

• Stay calm first. Regulated nervous systems make regulated conversations.
• Listen to understand, not to win. Most “arguments” are unmet needs in disguise.
• Name the real issue. Clarify what the conflict is actually about before debating solutions.
• Feelings + needs > accusations. Use “When you ___, I feel ___; I need ___; could you ___?”
• Define the desired outcome. Agree on “what good looks like” before you continue.
• Two truths can coexist. Your perspectives can both be valid.
• Take breaks at impasses. Timeouts prevent escalation; return when cooler.
• Bring a neutral third party when needed. Therapist, mediator, or trusted friend.

The Fair-Argument Playbook

1. Pause & breathe. Lower the temperature (box breathing: 4–4–4–4).
2. State intent: “My goal is for us to understand each other and find a solution we both can live with.”
3. Clarify the issue: “What do you think this is really about?”
4. Reflective listening: “What I’m hearing is… Did I get that right?”
5. Share with NVC: “When X happened, I felt Y. What I need is Z. Would you be willing to ___?”
6. Outcome check: “By the end of this, I’d love for us to ___.”
7. Perspective-swap: Briefly argue the other person’s side to show you get it.
8. Agree on next step: One concrete action each.
9. If stuck: “Let’s pause for 20–60 minutes and revisit at ___. We’re on the same team.”

Handy scripts

• Red-flag day: “Quick heads-up: I’m low-sleep/overloaded today. If I seem short, it’s not about you.”
• Boundary without blame: “I want to keep talking, and I need a 15-minute reset to stay respectful.”
• Repair after rupture: “I’m sorry for my tone earlier. Your point matters; can we try again?”

For parents & teams

• Ask kids/teammates to share how they’re feeling + what they need (not who’s “right”).
• Normalize check-ins: “What outcome are you hoping for?”
• Celebrate process wins (no interrupting, calm tone, staying on topic), not just “winning.”

When to get help

• Repeating stalemates on big life choices (money, parenting, moving, family size).
• Patterns of contempt, stonewalling, or scorekeeping.
• Bring in a counselor/mediator to create safety and structure.

Resources mentioned

• Nonviolent Communication — Marshall B. Rosenberg (feelings/needs framework)

Glimmers

• Andrew: Watching his son thrive at a first MMA practice—and the respectful community vibe.
• Cat: A surprise flower delivery (courtesy of Andrew and his mom) brightened a tough week.

Keep in touch

Questions, coaching, or topic requests: hello@fiveyearyou.com

More episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.com

IG: @fiveyearyou

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Key takeaways

• There are almost no “wrong” choices—only feedback. A result you don’t like is information for your next step.
• Indecision is a decision. Choosing not to choose keeps you in anxiety; pick a direction and learn.
• What’s meant for you won’t pass you by. Missed chances circle back in new ways; rejection can be protection.
• Widen the timeline. Over five years, most choices matter far less than they feel in the moment.
• Abundance > scarcity. Assume more options, more chances, and more support are on their way.

Practical tools you can use today

• 30-Second “gut check”

1. Take 3 slow breaths.
2. Say Choice A out loud; notice your body’s micro-response (expand or shrink?).
3. Repeat for Choice B. Choose the one that feels more expansive—not necessarily easier.

• Two-way vs. one-way doors
• Most decisions are reversible (two-way). Act fast on those. Save careful deliberation for the few irreversible (one-way) choices.
• Set a decision deadline
• Define, “I’ll decide by Friday at 4pm.” Gather enough info, then commit.
• Regret test
• Ask: “Which option will I regret not trying?” Pick that.
• Premortem & 1st domino
• Imagine it went badly; list why; add safeguards. Then do the smallest first action (email, application, 10-min draft).
• Decision journal (one line!)
• “Today I chose X because Y; expected outcome Z.” Review monthly to learn your patterns.
• Micro-menu rule
• Overwhelmed by options? Narrow to two, choose, move. Practice on low-stakes stuff (meals, routes, outfits) to build the muscle.

Try this (5-minute script)

Write:

“If a friend were stuck on this exact choice, I’d tell them…

The smallest next step is…

If it’s wrong, I’ll know because… and then I’ll…”

Read it back and do that smallest step.

Reframes we love

• “Rivers don’t run straight.” Meanders are how you move forward.
• “Opportunities are like buses; there’s another one coming.” Missing one doesn’t end the route.
• “Life is a big platter of delights.” Pick something; you can try the next dish later.
• “Rejection is protection.” Closed doors redirect you to your door.

Signs you’re in scarcity (and how to flip it)

• “There’s only one right choice.” → Abundance flip: “There are many good-enough choices.”
• “If I miss this, it’s over.” → Flip: “If it’s for me, it returns.”
• “I need 100% certainty.” → Flip: “80% clarity + action beats 100% later.”

Resources & related episodes

• Feeling Like I’m Failing (pairs well with today’s topic)
• Contrast & Gratitude (how hard seasons clarify values)
• Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff) – practical exercises for kinder self-talk

📧 Coaching or questions: hello@fiveyearyou.com

🌐 More episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.com

📸 IG: @fiveyearyou

Memorable lines

• “You’ll learn more from a ‘wrong’ decision than a ‘right’ one.”
• “Indecision is a decision—to stay in anxiety.”
• “What’s meant for you won’t pass you by.”
• “Widen the time horizon; five-year-you rarely cares which salad you picked.”

Glimmers

• Andrew: A small delight—a new red shirt replacing the hospital-cut favorite, and the kindness behind it.
• Cat: A three-day weekend with the twins—space to slow down amid the school/activity whirlwind.

Support the show

If this helped, share it with a friend and drop a quick ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review—it really helps others find us.

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

Expect reframes, gentle tactics for the “I’m behind” spiral, and a reminder that asking for help is a gift you give other people, too.

Key takeaways

• Worth ≠ productivity. North American culture often ties identity to output; this season invites you to uncouple the two.
• Asking for help is pro-connection, not weak. You let loved ones feel useful and deepen bonds when you receive.
• Reframe “failure” as a phase. Rest, rehab, and regrouping are progress—just a different speed.
• Contrast creates clarity. Hard seasons sharpen gratitude and reveal what really matters.
• Interrupt the spiral. When “I’m failing” hits, use a simple, external plan to change state (temperature, movement, environment).

Practical tools you can use today

• The 3-step spiral interrupter

1. Tend the body: pain meds/tea/ice or heat, shower, fresh air.
2. Change state: 30-minute recharge alone, short comedy clip, music, or a brisk walk.
3. Micro-plan: one tiny win (email, stretch, refill water), then reassess.

• Ask like a giver: “Could you help me with X?” → remember you’re offering someone the gift of helping.
• Reverse-compare: stop looking only ahead; look back at how far you’ve come.
• Temperature hack: cold pack to neck/face or warm shower to reset your nervous system.
• 10–10 List: write 10 things you did do today + 10 things you’re grateful for (including your body doing basics).
• Best-friend filter: Would you say that harsh thought to your favorite person? If not, rephrase it with kindness.

Try this (5-minute prompt)

Write a note to yourself that starts:

“I’m not failing—I’m healing. If a friend were in my exact spot, I’d tell them…”

Finish the sentence. Read it out loud.

Resources mentioned & related

• Feelings Wheel – pinpoint what you’re actually feeling to respond better.
• Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff) – simple practices to treat yourself like a friend.
• Open Path Collective – affordable therapy options.
• The Wealthy Barber – a gentle, story-driven intro to money basics (ties into our recent money series).

📧 Questions or need a nudge? hello@fiveyearyou.com

🌐 More episodes & freebies: fiveyearyou.com

📸 Hang with us on IG: @fiveyearyou

Memorable lines

• “Slowing down doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re healing what needs care.”
• “Asking for help is a gift. You’re letting someone you love feel useful.”
• “You’re not behind; you’re in a different chapter.”
• “Look back for proof, not just forward for gaps.”

Glimmers (the little sparkly things)

• Andrew: The unexpected closeness with his dad & being cared for by his people.
• Cat: A full, memorable summer with the kids—and the flexibility to be there for family (and for Andrew).

If you’re having a tougher time

If thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness creep in, please reach out:

• 988 (US) Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• Talk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566 or 45645 (text, 4pm–midnight ET)
• You deserve support, right now.

Support the show

If this helped, share the episode with one friend and leave a quick rating ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — it really helps other listeners find us.

Affiliate note: As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases (Store ID: amp09-20 | Tracking ID: 5yy-20).

They talk candidly about the internal rules we adopt as children, the external expectations of adulthood, and how to start rewriting your story based on what you want—not what you were told you should want.

What You’ll Learn:

• What “The Rules Are Fake” really means
• Why the traditional path of school → job → house → retire may not be for everyone
• How to question whether a rule is helping you or holding you back
• Why homeownership and college aren't the only paths to stability or success
• How internal rules (like "I should have it all figured out by 40") create anxiety
• The power of rewriting your personal playbook and defining success on your own terms

Key Takeaways:

• Some rules are helpful; others are just habits. Pause and ask: Is this true for me?
• College and buying a house can be amazing—but they’re not mandatory.
• “Should” is often a red flag. If you hear yourself say “I should…”, dig deeper.
• Happiness doesn’t come after you follow the rules—it comes when you live from the inside out.
• It’s okay to walk a different path. In fact, it might be the best decision you ever make.

Your Glimmers of the Week:

Catherine finds joy in morning rainbows from crystal sun-catchers, and Andrew reflects on a meaningful trip to see Ben Platt live—with a reminder that you deserve beautiful experiences too.

🧭 Want to start living life by your own rules?

Visit FiveYearYou.com to book a mentoring call and begin your path to intentional living.

If you’ve ever wondered “Is it just me?”—this one’s for you.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why making friends as an adult is harder than it was in school
• How introverts and extroverts experience friendship differently
• Why proximity, shared interests, and vulnerability matter
• Two practical ways to connect with new people
• How to handle ghosting, rejection, or just plain busy lives
• Why it’s okay (and smart) to have different friends for different parts of your life
• How to initiate friendship without feeling awkward
• The “3 friend types” to surround yourself with for connection and growth

Practical Tips From the Episode:

• Ask for numbers (even if it feels like dating)
• Reach out to old friends—just be honest
• Be vulnerable or be curious (ideally both!)
• Don’t expect one person to meet every need
• Embrace diversity in age, interests, and energy levels
• Let go of perfection and initiate anyway

Your Glimmers of the Week:

Catherine discovers the joy (and simplicity) of homemade key lime pie, and Andrew shares his excitement for summer travel plans and adventures to come.

💬 Feeling isolated or struggling to find your people?

You’re not alone—and you don’t have to figure it out solo. Visit FiveYearYou.com to explore mentorship or join the community.

From recognizing your triggers to learning how to release built-up energy before it explodes, this conversation is full of useful takeaways for anyone who wants to handle anger with more awareness and grace.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why anger is a normal (and even necessary) emotion
• How unprocessed anger can show up physically and emotionally
• Strategies for defusing tension in the moment (even if you’re at a 10!)
• The importance of self-awareness and communicating your emotional state
• Safe and effective ways to release anger—without harming relationships
• How to identify when anger has turned into something more dangerous

Resources & Mentions:

• Box breathing technique
• Rebounding for emotional release
• The power of 30 minutes alone (Catherine’s go-to reset strategy)
• Creating a calm home when you’re a sensory-sensitive parent
• The “Instant Pot” analogy for pressure and emotional release
• Domestic violence resources (linked in show notes)

Disclaimer:

Anger is human. Violence is not. If someone in your life is harming you physically, emotionally, or verbally, please seek help. Your safety matters. We’ve included crisis resources in the episode description.

Your Glimmer of the Week:

Andrew and Catherine share a light-hearted recap of their recent in-person visit, Canadian winter survival tips, and how creating new traditions can feel just as meaningful as honoring old ones.

🔗 Need help managing big emotions or want to work on your emotional health?

Visit FiveYearYou.com to book a free coaching call.

We’ll walk you through the five layers:

1. Soul – your essence and spiritual center
2. Self – your emotional, mental, and physical well-being
3. Social – your relationships and sense of community
4. Substance – how you spend your time, career, and lifestyle
5. Significance – your environment, achievements, and influence

If you've ever felt like something’s missing—like you’re living from the outside in—this episode will help you re-center and start living from the inside out. We share personal stories, examples, and tiny actions to help you reconnect with your authentic self.

✨ FREE RESOURCE

Download our Layers of Life visual guide:

https://fiveyearu.com/layers-of-life

💌 Stay connected

Email us anytime at: hello@fiveyearyou.com

We’d love to hear what pizza crust you like… or what part of your soul you’re ready to rediscover.

🔗 Other Links

Website: https://fiveyearyou.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5YearYou

Podcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/five-year-you

⏱️ Episode Timestamps

00:00 - Intro: A message to the burnt-out overachiever

02:14 - What does it mean to be your own best friend?

04:51 - The difference between self-care and self-respect

07:36 - Why high-achievers often struggle with self-compassion

12:05 - “If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself”

14:22 - Steps to stop being your own worst critic

17:47 - Internal validation vs. external chasing

21:30 - The surprising power of treating yourself kindly

📚 Resources & Mentions:

→ Listen to all episodes of the podcast: https://fiveyearyou.com/podcast

→ Free tool: Create your Five Year You plan: https://fiveyearyou.com/free

→ Our favorite book on inner dialogue: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself by Shad Helmstetter

→ Need a reset? Try the Life Reboot Intensive: https://fiveyearyou.com/reboot

📝 Want to Work With Us?

We help high-achieving, purpose-driven people redesign their lives from the inside out.

Book your complimentary mentoring call: https://fiveyearyou.com/call

📩 Let’s Connect

Have a question or want to share a glimmer? Email us: hello@fiveyearyou.com

Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

💬 What You’ll Learn:

• Why shame keeps us stuck in money problems
• A simple 3-step framework: Define the problem, Zoom out, Take the next right step
• How to stay grounded when emotions flare up
• Why solving money problems is rarely about “just making more”
• How your nervous system affects your financial clarity
• The importance of basic needs, especially when money is tight

🛠️ Tools + Resources Mentioned:

📌 Feelings Wheel – To name and process emotions related to money

🔗 https://feelingswheel.com

📌 The Wealthy Barber – A storytelling-based book on financial basics

🔗 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761513116?tag=5yy-20

📌 Open Path Collective – Affordable therapy when you’re feeling stuck

🔗 https://openpathcollective.org

📌 Five Year You Coaching – Find purpose, peace, and financial clarity

🔗 https://fiveyearyou.com

✨ Want More Support?

📬 Email us → hello@fiveyearyou.com

🌐 Website → https://fiveyearyou.com

🎙 Subscribe for More Real Conversations:

▶️ YouTube → https://youtube.com/@FiveYearYou

📸 Instagram → https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou

🎧 Podcast Feed → https://fiveyearyou.com/podcast

Affiliate Disclaimer:

Some links in this description may be affiliate links. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases using store ID amp09-20 and tracking ID 5yy-20. This helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you. Thank you!

💡 What You’ll Learn:

– The difference between being rich and being truly wealthy

– Why contentment is the foundation of wealth

– How to define your version of success and stop chasing “more”

– The importance of managing your cash flow and creating margin

– A simple way to start investing (even if you’re overwhelmed)

– Why connection and health are underrated wealth indicators

🛠️ Tools + Resources Mentioned:

📌 The Wealthy Barber – A beginner-friendly money book told in story form

🔗 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761513116

📌 Index Fund Investing Basics – Learn how to invest without needing to be an expert

🔗 https://www.investor.gov/introduction-investing/investing-basics

✨ Want more support?

Let’s build your version of wealth together.

📬 hello@fiveyearyou.com

🌐 https://fiveyearyou.com

🎙 Subscribe for more real conversations:

▶️ YouTube: https://youtube.com/@FiveYearYou

📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/fiveyearyou