Growth through Grief

The Empowered Version of You: A Widowers Guide to Building a Better Tomorrow

Thomas Pisello — Fri, 08 Sep 2023 11:00:00 -0400

In this episode we interview John Polo. He is a fellow widower, losing his wife, Michelle to cancer in January of 2016.

From these experiences, John has found purpose, as a coach, best-selling author, podcaster and keynote speaker.

His 4 books on grief and loss are well worth the read, including:

Widowed. Rants, Raves & Randoms
Widowed 2. Now I Live
How to Date a Widow 101
The Stupid Sh*t People Say to Grievers

John has also worked with clients on nearly 5,000 coaching sessions.

In this episode we discuss several topics: from grief to dating, self-growth and everything in between, John offers experience and advice that helps healing and growth, and this interview taps that experience and insight.

Your Grief Journey: A Marathon Not a Sprint

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 04 May 2023 11:36:00 -0400

A wife that passed away from cancer, a career in transition, and a young daughter to raise on your own ... how do you not just move forward but thrive despite this hand you have been dealt?

In this interview we discuss this scenario with AJ Coleman, who lived it and documented his experience as the author of the book "Keep Those Feet Moving: A Widower’s 8-Step Guide to Coping with Grief and Thriving Against All Odds”.

We discuss AJ's grief journey, from losing his wife Cory to brain cancer when she was just 33 and the trials he faced not just in the grief, but now as a single parent to his daughter Zoey, managing his career as a certified anti-money laundering specialist (CAMS) and fraud examiner (CFE), and so much more.

The information in this podcast is for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health or spiritual advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health counselor, spiritual advisor or other qualified health-care , mental health or spiritual provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, mental or spiritual challenges or treatment. Before making any changes to your health-care, diet, exercise or other aspects of your life, please seek professional advice, and never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read or heard on this podcast or through other Growth through Grief resources.

The Choice of Living Undeterred is Yours

Thomas Pisello — Tue, 25 Apr 2023 07:51:00 -0400

One day you are a successful entrepreneur, husband and father, and then you lose a son, and not too long after, lose your bride too?

This is the story of Jeff Johnston’s life, and in this interview we explore how his life was forever changed five years ago when he got the call that his eldest son died of fentanyl poisoning, and then two years ago when Jeff experienced another loss, losing his wife Prudence to alcoholism a he joined our collective experience, our widower brotherhood.

Since these losses Jeff has dedicated his life to Living Undeterred. This included creating a mental health charity, writing the book “This One’s For You – an Inspirational Journey Through Addiction, Death and Meaning”, creating the Living Undeterred Podcast, and so much more.

To learn more, checkout: https://www.livingundeterred.com/

You Make Your Path By Walking

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 09:22:00 -0400

This quote struck me: “An in-between place that trauma escorts you to. The gap between my life the day before—the me who was living her dream life, preparing to launch her first book and new program into the world—and the me now, whose beloved husband had just committed suicide”, from the book You Make Your Path by Walking.

In this interview we visit with the author of these words and widow Suzanne Anderson. We discuss losing her husband suddenly, the immediate aftermath, and her healing process through walking, spirituality and purpose.

For resources, checkout: https://mysterialwoman.com/

Getting Your Financial House in Order Post Loss

Thomas Pisello — Mon, 17 Apr 2023 11:30:00 -0400

What are some of the most common financial challenges for widowers, and how to best avoid and mitigate?

This interview with retired Financial Advisor Chris Bentley will provide some of the answers you need to be aware of, avoid and handle some of the most common issues we face in dealing with finances and financial planning after the loss of our spouse.

Chris is the founder and now CEO of Wings for Widows, providing 1:1 personalized financial coaching to the newly widowed since 2018. After nearly 15 years as a financial advisor with an advisory and wealth management practice in the Twin Cities, he retired to support his new mission of helping widows and widowers handle and plan their finances post loss.

Healing Your Grief Through Renewed Purpose

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 22 Mar 2023 10:30:00 -0400

How can you accelerate your grief healing? One widower finds that a service mission and renewed purpose could do just that.

In this interview we explore Alex Hamlow's love story and grief journey to learn how to better cope and heal.

Important Note: The information in this podcast is for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health or spiritual advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health counselor, spiritual advisor or other qualified health-care , mental health or spiritual provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, mental or spiritual challenges or treatment. Before making any changes to your health-care, diet, exercise or other aspects of your life, please seek professional advice, and never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read or heard on this podcast or through other Growth through Grief resources.

Cooking for Healing

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 01 Mar 2023 09:00:00 -0400

Who would think that cooking could provide a path to your grief healing?

In this podcast we interview widower, growth coach and author John Lewis, who found that the simple task of cooking for his youngest daughter provided a catalyst for his entire healing process. Getting uncomfortable and finding a new purpose were two ways John believes that his new hobby helped, and he has several more tips and hacks to help you in your own, personal grief journey and healing process.

A Walk in the Woods

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 09:00:00 -0400

Can a nature hike help in your healing process?

Absolutely, as both the act of walking and connecting with green space can both bring about spiritual, mental and physical changes. In this podcast we talk with Helen Keeling-Neal, mental health professional and widow, about our own personal "walk in the woods" experiences, how these have provided release and much needed answers and go-forward directions.

A Journey from Loss to Living Again

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 09 Feb 2023 15:54:00 -0400

How important is community and faith in the healing process?

In this podcast interview, we talk with James Thornber, author of the book - Better with Every Breath: The Journey from Loss to Living Again.

James is a Pastor who lost his wife of 26 years Barbara in 2020 and in this podcast we discuss his journey of faith and healing in the aftermath of that loss.

Surrender to Your Adversity: Turning Loss into Resilience and Purpose

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 28 Dec 2022 09:00:00 -0400

How do you best turn your loss into renewed purpose, peace and joy?

In this podcast I interview Rob Swymer the author of the book Surrender to Your Adversity.

Rob is a sales executive who lost his wife Bonnie a few years ago, and through this loss and several other rounds with adversity prior, he shows us how fighting through each experience with resilience, humility and surrender, can indeed deliver renewed purpose and joy.

Who am I Now? Grief and Your Identity Crisis

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 09:00:00 -0400

Husband, Partner, Joint Parent. These are just a few of the identities that are shattered by your loss. And then there are the new identities you have to handle, piling on: Sole parent, cook, cleaner, comforter and much more.

In this episode we chat with mental health expert Helen Keeling-Neal, as we discuss the challenges with losing your old identity, adding many more identities, and trying to find out who you are moving forward.

By the Numbers: Research and Learnings About Loss

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 15 Dec 2022 09:00:00 -0400

What does the research reveal about the loss of a spouse and your health?

In this podcast we interview Carolyn Moor, a widow and the founder of the Modern Widows Club. Through her community they have compiled some incredible research on loss and health, and she shares those findings with us here, along with her own experiences with loss and her creation of the largest women’s health group focused on widows (which we can leverage as a model to help us men heal too!).

Widower's Journey: Helping You Rebuild After Your Loss

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 08 Dec 2022 09:00:00 -0400

How can you best navigate your widowers journey, not just one or two years in, but beyond as well?

In this podcast episode we interview Herb Knoll, author of the book Widower’s Journey. We discuss the common issues we see widowers face, the perils of getting remarried too soon, and so much more.

Your Children on Grief - Ways to Help their Healing and Growth

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 30 Nov 2022 11:18:00 -0400

What can you do to help your children with their grief, when you are trying to cope with your own?

I pose important questions about our children and grief to mental health counselor Helen Keeling – Neal to get her professional advice and personal insights (as a widow herself, with young children). We discuss some of the issues your children will face without their Mom, how you can ask the right questions, have the right conversations , and get the support you need to help.

A Heart Returned: A Story of Tragedy, Healing and New Purpose

Thomas Pisello — Tue, 15 Nov 2022 09:00:00 -0400

After tragically losing her husband Mark at the World Trade Center on 9/11, Juliette Brisman has successfully navigated her grief, raised her children, returned to school to become a licensed mental health counselor, and wrote an amazing book, A Heart Returned, recounting her love story, tragedy, healing and the miracle after which the book is named.

In this interview, we explore her amazing life story, leveraging her challenges as a widow and experiences as a licensed mental health counselor to inspire you in your own healing process and grief journey.

MAINTAIN the Flame: Implementing a Growth Mindset For Your Grief Journey

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 10 Nov 2022 11:15:00 -0400

When we experience grief, it's easy to get down on ourselves, feel guilty and have regrets, be angry with God and so much more. With so much weighing on you, your loss, helplessness and sadness, how can you possibly maintain a growth mindset?

In this interview we tackle how to maintain a growth mindset despite these challenges, leveraging the wisdom and insight of Dr. Nicole Bradford, author of 1 Step at a Time, and creator of the Maintain the Flame framework.

We discuss eight specific things you can do today to help with your own grieving process and grief journey, and ways to overcome the lies, labels and limitations that just might be holding you back.

Your Body on Grief: Healing with Wellness, Mind and Spirit

Thomas Pisello — Tue, 08 Nov 2022 09:00:00 -0400

What happens to your body when experiencing grief? What are the impacts on your health and wellness in the short and long term?

to learn the answers, we interview Dr. Kirsten Carter MD, the co-founder and Internal Medicine Physician of Grace Medical Home, a care facility for the uninsured in Orange County Florida, providing healing for mind, body and spirit.

From her experiences at Grace Medical Home, and her extensive experience in primary care and functional medicine, Dr. Carter is here to talk with us about the stress of grief - how this impacts our bodies as widowers, and how we can leverage the right mindset, diet, activities and faith to dramatically advance our healing and growth.

Helplessness: The Root Cause of Grief and Trauma?

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 03 Nov 2022 09:00:00 -0400

What is the root cause of our grief and the trauma we experience from the loss of our wives? Is it loss and loneliness? Is it feeling helpless?

My guest today is Tim Ohai a strategic effectiveness expert and coach, who I met in the business world, but got to know deeply as a fellow widower. Tim lost his wife Diana in 2020 and is now a single father of two, with a son 22 and a daughter 20.

Tim is a man of strong faith and purpose, along with having an educational background in behavioral science and psychology, and we had plenty to talk about: discussing Tim’s journey from grief to growth, exploring the challenges he faced and how mind, body and especially spirit helped him on his way.

Incompatible Bedfellows: Your New Partner and Your Grief

Thomas Pisello — Tue, 01 Nov 2022 09:00:00 -0400

When we begin to date again, many of us have faced a point where our new partners may not be comfortable with the grief, and the spirits of our lives past. How do you balance moving forward, while still honoring your past life and late wife?

In this interview, we tap the expertise of mental health expert Helen Keeling-Neal to understand the feelings involved, potential pitfalls, and get key go-forward advice.

Your Brain on Grief: Deeper Understanding to Foster Healing and Growth

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 19 Oct 2022 12:23:00 -0400

How does your brain process, handle and heal from grief?

In this interview with Mary-Frances O’Connor author of a new and important book: The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss, we explore her research and seek the scientific answer to this question.

Mary-Frances is a researcher and Associate Professor at the University of Arizona, where she studies how the mind, brain and body react to and adapt to grief.

In this insightful episode, we explore her research and new book, to learn what happens to the brain on grief, and how you can leverage this knowledge to better mentally handle your grieving process.

Dealing with Loneliness After Loss

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 28 Sep 2022 09:12:00 -0400

What do you do when WE becomes just ME? Loneliness can be a serious challenge for the widower, especially soon after the loss of their wife, with many reporting feeling isolated from friends and family in their grief, suffering alone in isolation with their sadness and anxiety.

In this episode, we tackle the loneliness challenge with mental health expert and widow Helen Keeling-Neal. In our conversation we discuss how loneliness manifests and provide some tools and strategies to help reduce the impacts and overcome the loneliness challenge for healing and growth.

The First 365 - Advice to Help Widowers Survive Year One

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 13:38:00 -0400

Those first 365 days from when you lose your spouse can be incredibly sorrowful, depressing and angst ridden. So as a widower, how do you best navigate and survive that first year and beyond?

In this interview with widower Terrell Whitener we discuss his experiences during the first year after losing his wife Robin, and how that inspired him to write the book The First 365: Learning to Live After Loss. We discuss the top three challenges new widowers face and ways to overcome these issues, along with advice for growing beyond that first year.

Widower to Widower - Overcoming the Top 3 Grief Challenges

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 21 Sep 2022 14:54:00 -0400

In this episode we interview author Fred Colby about his personal grief journey as a widower, and the advice he delivers in his book "Widower to Widower: Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship".

I pose the top three challenges I have seen widowers have to Fred to get his personal and professional take: everything from trauma and lack of sleep to making big decisions, and dating again.

Fred provides his own views along with insights from consulting with many widowers to deliver some important tools for healing and growth.

Spirits, Ghosts and Visitations, Oh My!

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 15 Sep 2022 12:37:00 -0400

Have you been contacted or visited by your late wife? Has she appeared in your dreams? Have you experienced the supernatural since her passing?

I was a skeptic, but like my guests, entrepreneur and author Brian Rossi and mental health professional Helen Keeling-Neal, it didn't take any of us long to have these magical experiences and become convinced that our angels were still with us, helping to let us know everything was alright, to teach us, and guide us towards the right path.

Listen into our personal experiences and see if you too would be similarly convinced, and see how your own experiences align.

Dating Again - Advancing to the Next Level

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 01 Sep 2022 12:00:00 -0400

You start dating again, but start to have some serious questions: Are you ready? Are you moving too fast? What about S-E-X? Are you being taken advantage of? When should you walk away? When should you bump things to the next level?

In this interview with mental health professional Helen Keeling-Neal, we explore these dating questions and more, providing some first hand tips and guidance on how to, when you are ready, successfully navigating your transition to dating again and developing a healthy, next relationship.

Angry with God? Finding Faith through your Healing Journey

Thomas Pisello — Mon, 29 Aug 2022 16:37:00 -0400

When you experience loss, anger often ensues, and it is not unusual for a widower to look upwards, to cast blame on God for their situation, sadness and grief.

In this interview with Pastor Joseph Thompson, a distinguished author, podcaster and minister, we discuss where this anger comes from, how to potentially transcend these feelings to capture or recapture your Faith, and how to leverage the loss to create a better story of You.

Pastor Joseph leverages over 30 years as a faith leader and fitness guru, and his own personal losses, sharing his own questions for God and how these challenges helped to strengthen his faith and refine his missionary purpose.

Leveraging Food for Your Healing

Thomas Pisello — Tue, 23 Aug 2022 13:53:00 -0400

Can what I eat be making me more sad and depressed? Can food help me get through the widower's journey better and help in my healing process? Can the right nutrition help me to not just heal, but to grow and improve?

In this episode we engage Carly Paige, a culinary nutrition expert, chef, and the Founder / President of FitLiving Eats Winter Park, a concierge private chef company, asking these questions to provide you with guidance on food as a healing medicine.

She is the author of the best-selling cookbook, Simply Swapped Everyday, and leverages her nutritional and cooking expertise to discuss the importance of food and diet in the healing process with us in this growth podcast.

Making MAGIC: Transcending From Lack to Success

Thomas Pisello — Fri, 19 Aug 2022 10:20:00 -0400

In this episode we talk with Brian Rassi. He is the CEO and founder of Enstigate, an Entrepreneurial success engine and consultancy, and Brian is author of the book: Lack or Success.

Brian lost his life partner of over fourteen years Imelda. She was his exotic inspiration, his turnaround artist, his mystic, his spiritual guide, his life sherpa … and then he found himself without her in 2017.

It might have been easy for Brian to fall back to old ways. To think about past struggles and repeat those, but Brian knew this experience was not to be feared, that Imelda was still in and with him, and that he needed to embrace her passing as an even stronger source of inspiration, to become even better.

In this interview we explore Brian’s journey in life and loss, and discuss his secrets and methods to transcend from Less Than and Lack to Success.

Begin Again: Dating After Loss

Thomas Pisello — Fri, 19 Aug 2022 07:40:00 -0400

When someone becomes a widower, society has certain expectations about proper mourning periods and dating again. Six months, one year? And how do you get back out there when you are ready, and make sure you take the right steps to create a healthy "next" relationship?

In this episode, mental health professional and widow Helen Keeling-Neal and widower Tom Pisello discuss expectations, how to know when you are ready, dating do's and don'ts, dating do's and don'ts.

Dealing with Regrets In Your Relationship

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 18 Aug 2022 11:58:00 -0400

Many of us have serious regrets about our late partner and our relationship. No relationship is perfect, and for many of us, because of the disease and struggle, things were less than ideal.

For some of us, there were words that were left unsaid between us. For others, there were perhaps angry words that were said that we regret.

In this frank discussion with mental health expert Helen Keeling-Neal, we address the challenge of harboring these regrets - what it can do to you if left unresolved, and most importantly, how to overcome and transcend the regrets to achieve better healing and growth.

Kintsugi - Finding Beauty Through the Healing Process

Thomas Pisello — Fri, 29 Jul 2022 14:18:00 -0400

Our guest for this podcast is Chris Wasman, co-founder of Istoria Ministry Group with his wife Lorri.

Before his life in counseling and creating his ministry, Chris spent many years serving in high-impact roles for several of the fastest growing churches in the nation, along with serving as a VP of sales and marketing in on-line travel, and serving as a United States Marines in Desert Storm, earning multiple service awards during that time. Chris has a BS in Psychology from the University of Central Florida, a MA degree in Pastoral Counseling from Liberty University and is currently acquiring dual certifications as a Christian Life Coach (CCLC) and Professional Life Coach (CPLC).

In this conversation, we use all of these experiences as we begin exploring the role of Spirit in the widower healing process, discussing the ancient art of Kintsugi - Golden Joinery, how to be reflective of your grief pain, how to leverage forgiveness and faith to transcend these hurts.

Ditch the Mask for Better Healing

Thomas Pisello — Fri, 29 Jul 2022 14:15:00 -0400

In this podcast, I interview business performance expert Jon Thurman.

Jon currently serves as Executive Vice President & Board Member of Insurance Office of America. He is also a LifeWork Coach with LifeWork Leadership Orlando helping business leaders grow as transformative leaders in their community as they integrate their faith and their work in the marketplace.

During this conversation, we talk about an important challenge that many of us face through the grieving process as a widower - our leverage of masks - how to recognize when we are using them, and how to remove them to experience true love and peace.

Becoming 2.0: Growing through the Grieving Process

Thomas Pisello — Fri, 29 Jul 2022 10:54:00 -0400

David Brock is a widower of 2.5 years, having lost his wife of 38 years Kookie in 2020.

I got to know David through his sales consulting business, having the pleasure of interviewing him for my former Evolved Selling podcast, tapping David’s business expertise as the Author of the book: Sales Manager Survival Guide, and CEO and Founder of sales performance consultancy Partners In EXCELLENCE.

In this podcast we discuss the story of David and Kookie, how he has been coping with loss from grief over the past two and a half years, and how he has grown and reshaped his life over that time as a widower.

BioHacking to Better Recover from Grief

Thomas Pisello — Thu, 21 Jul 2022 15:19:00 -0400

My guest today is a growth expert, Russ Scala, the founder of Scala Precision Health, delivering evidence based, gender specific nutritional and hormonal testing and imaging, along with customized treatment protocols to improve patient recovery, health and performance.

Russ is the author of the book American BioHacker, as well as a speaker, educator, and consultant.

In this session interview with Russ Scala and Tom Pisello, we discuss the impact the loss of a loved one can have on the body, and what you can do medically, nutritionally and physically to get balance restored: to help better recover from grief to growth.

Piling On: How to Deal with Compound Grief

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 13 Jul 2022 14:09:00 -0400

Compound Grief happens when multiple traumas are experienced. When this happens, you don't have time to handle the primary grief, much less the second, third or fourth. With COVID, inflation and now recession hitting us along with the loss of our spouse, Compound Grief is in play.

To help understand Compound Grief and it's impact on grief and growth, we turn to Helen Keeling-Neal, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Nationally Certified Counselor with a private practice, Kingfisher Counseling.

As well, Helen has a personal experience with grief and loss, as a widow, her husband passing away when her children were only 4 and 6 years old. In this session Helen and I define Compound Grief, discuss the impacts of this trauma on the mind and body, and help guide proven ways to overcome.

You Don't Have to Go Through This Alone

Thomas Pisello — Wed, 08 Jun 2022 13:14:00 -0400

Joey Pazzelli lost his wife Giang, mother to his two college-aged daughters Sophia and Olivia, just a short 8 months ago, this after a two-year battle with colon cancer.

Joey and Giang knew each other for over thirty years, and as you can imagine, saying goodbye, helping his daughters through their grief, and figuring out what is next has been a struggle.

This podcast explores the story of Joey and Giang, the challenges Joey has faced in coping with the loss, and what he has learned over the past year that could be helpful for you in your own journey from growth to grief.

Finding Leadership in the Midst of Tragedy

Thomas Pisello — Fri, 03 Jun 2022 11:36:00 -0400

Christopher Ice lost his wife Mary K when she was 54 years old, saying goodbye to his bride of 32 years and mother to their 7 children after a 5-year battle with breast cancer.

During the disease fight and aftermath, Chris served as the CEO and President of Ava Maria University and CEO of Catholic Charities of Kansas City-St. Joseph, while handling family duties and trying to hold it all together.

This podcast explores the story of Mary and Chris, and the challenges Chris faced in maintaining his leadership roles while also caring for his wife and family: A story of how to dig deep to find and leverage leadership amid tragedy and loss.