Healing Mothers' Club

Addiction and Motherhood: A Postpartum Recovery Story with Alyssa Hartley

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0400

In this deeply honest and powerful conversation, I sit down with Alyssa Hartley, a mother of two who shares her journey through substance use disorder, motherhood, and recovery. Alyssa opens up about her initiation to substance use at 11 years old, growing up in a Canadian military base where emotions were suppressed, and how her sensitivity and anxiety shaped led her to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism. She vulnerably shares what it looked like to parent while struggling, the turning point during her postpartum period, and the courageous steps she took toward recovery—including seeking medical support, entering detox, and committing to long-term healing. Today, Alyssa is living in sobriety and using her voice to advocate for others walking a similar path.

In this episode, we discuss:

The link between childhood trauma, emotional suppression, and substance use
What addiction can look like in motherhood (and the hidden realities many don’t see)
The role of medical support, therapy, and nervous system healing in sustainable recovery

Connect with Alyssa :

TikTok: @foreverfabalyss

Connect with Danik :

Therapy for Canadians in Ontario & Quebec : https://www.danikbernier.com
Therapist or coach? Join the newsletter to train with Danik New parts work + parenting after childhood trauma goes live in April!

DISCLAIMER:

This podcast episode does not represent a psychotherapy session between the host and the guest. The host does not necessarily share the same opinions as the guest. This podcast is not meant to replace psychotherapy from a licensed mental health professional, does not give medical advice, is not a mental health assessment tool, and does not provide a diagnosis. This podcast is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Your Nervous System Is a House: Self-Mothering as a Tool to Strengthen Your Foundation

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

In this solo episode of The Healing Mothers Club, Danik Bernier explains what quality trauma therapy should look like for mothers who want to break the cycle of childhood trauma—or for anyone on a journey of self-mothering after emotional neglect. Using the metaphor of the nervous system as a house, Danik explores how early attachment experiences shape the foundation of emotional safety and why many healing approaches focus too much on strengthening the “house” (coping tools and regulation skills) without repairing the foundation underneath. She introduces the concept of self-mothering as a way to rebuild that foundation internally, helping people meet their emotional needs proactively, stay connected to their adult self rather than dissociating during stress, and ultimately feel safe enough in their bodies to live authentically.

In this episode, Danik discusses:

Why the nervous system can be understood as a house built on a foundation, and how emotional neglect in childhood shapes that foundation.
How dissociation functions as a protective response—and why it is often misunderstood or ignored in wellness spaces.
The practice of self-mothering and how internal resources can strengthen inner emotional safety and support trauma healing.

Connect with Danik:

DISCLAIMER:

This podcast is not meant to replace psychotherapy from a licensed mental health professional, does not give medical advice, is not a mental health assessment tool, and does not provide a diagnosis. This podcast is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Human Design as a Compassion Manual with Caitlan Siegenthaler

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 20:00:00 -0400

In this episode of The Healing Mothers’ Club, I’m joined by IFS therapist and Human Design strategist Caitlan Siegenthaler for a fascinating conversation at the intersection of trauma work, nervous system awareness, and Human Design.

Caitlan shares how Human Design entered her therapy practice and how it can function as a powerful tool for self-understanding—especially for mothers navigating burnout, guilt, and the pressure to constantly be “on.” Rather than treating Human Design as a rigid framework or parenting manual, Caitlan reframes it as a compassion manual: a way to understand your unique energy, decision-making style, and nervous system patterns. Together, we explore how integrating Human Design with parts work approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help explain long-held beliefs, reduce mom guilt, and create more harmony between parents and their children.

This conversation also touches on how certain childhood labels—like being “too much” or “dramatic”—can connect to trauma patterns we later see in therapy. When we understand our energetic design and emotional wiring, we can begin to release those narratives and support both ourselves and our children with more compassion.

In this episode, we talk about:

How Human Design can serve as a compassion manual for mothers rather than a parenting rulebook
The five Human Design energy types and how they influence parenting, energy levels, and burnout
How integrating Human Design with trauma work and parts work can help explain negative core beliefs and reduce mom guilt

CONNECT WITH CAITLAN:

Get the free mini course on making decisions easy with with IFS and Human Design

Book a Human Design reading

Connect with Caitlan on Instagram

Listen to Return the podcast

CONNECT WITH DANIK:

Book your FREE coaching consultation (open worldwide)

Book your FREE therapy consultation(Ontario + Quebec, Canada only)

Get on the coaching newsletter so you don’t miss special offerings and discounts

Connect with Danik on Instagram

DISCLAIMER:

Does Prioritizing Your Needs Make You a Narcissistic Mom?

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

If you identify as an adult daughter of Emotionally Immature Parents or Narcissistic Parents, you know deep in your bones how it feels to be an inconvenience and to be chosen dead last (or completely ignored). And if you've entered motherhood or have considered becoming a mom, you probably heard the mainstream self-care messaging for moms: take care of yourself, choose yourself first. On one hand, you want to break the cycle of trauma, and on the other hand, you know just because you become a mom doesn't mean you suddenly stop having to meet your own needs. So how do we juggle it all without becoming our self-absorbed mother?

Danik answers in this first episode of season 2.

Meet Danik 1:1 for FREE (open worldwide)

Therapy for Ontario + Quebec residents 🇨🇦

Follow Danik on Instagram, @healingmothersclub

✨ Please rate and follow the show, it helps other people who would need to hear today's message find the podcast

DISCLAIMER:

Simone's Story: Epigenetics, Motherhood, and Intergenerational Trauma

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode, Danik shares the full story of her great-grandmother Simone, who was institutionalized in the early 1950s in rural French Ontario, and explores how intergenerational trauma can live on in our bodies decades later. Through archival medical records, family history, and lived experience as a mother, Danik weaves together epigenetics, patriarchy, psychiatric violence, and motherhood—revealing how trauma, abandonment wounds, and survival patterns are passed down, and how awareness can become the beginning of healing.

In this episode, we explore:

Simone’s institutionalization, medical trauma, and the reality of motherhood under 1950s patriarchal systems
How intergenerational trauma and epigenetics can show up in motherhood, anxiety, and the nervous system
Why understanding our ancestors’ stories can release long-held emotional and somatic wounds

If this episode resonated, follow Danik on Instagram @danikhelpsmoms where she shares ongoing series on intergenerational trauma, cycle-breaking, and nervous system-informed motherhood. And if you’re beginning your own healing journey, consider what support you need to safely explore your family history—you don’t have to do this alone.

DISCLAIMER:

Toy Overwhelm After the Holidays and Environment as the Third Teacher: Creating Regulating Spaces with Natasha Demers

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode of The Healing Mothers’ Club, Danik is joined by bilingual educator and child development consultant Natasha Demers to explore how a child’s environment directly impacts behavior, regulation, and family stress—especially after the holidays. Together, they unpack how toy overload, clutter, and overstimulation can lead to dysregulation, and how intentional, values-based home setups can support calmer play, independence, and nervous system safety for both kids and parents.

In this episode, we discuss:

How clutter, toy overload, and overstimulation affect children’s behavior and regulation
Simple, realistic toy rotation and home setup strategies for small or open-concept spaces
Letting go of guilt around purging, donating, or storing toys in different seasons of parenting

Connect with Natasha :

On Facebook, Child Development Consultant
On Instagram, @natashademers
By email: educationlacite1@gmail.com

✨NERVOUS SYSTEM REGULATION DURING TANTRUMS: Get your FREE consultation

Connect with Danik :

On Instagram, @danikhelpsmoms
Join the newsletter here

DISCLAIMER:

The Impact of Breaking Generational Cycles for South Asian Women with Radha Dalal, M.A., (soon-to-be) LMFT

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Breaking generational cycles not only for ourselves, but for our whole family❤️‍🩹

Welcome back to the Healing Mothers' Club! Today is a guest episode with Radha Dalal, M.A., and soon-to-be LMFT! We talk about:

What it feels like to break generational cycles as daughters of immigrants and South Asian women;
What we need to create safety when feeling pressured;
How to confidently write our own story (as Radha says, "you're the author, not the aunties"!)

Connect with Radha:

On Instagram, @radhathetherapist
Website: radhadalal.com
Podcast: The Pink Rose Pod

Connect with Danik:

On Instagram, @danikhelpsmoms
Website: danikbernier.com
Get your FREE coaching consultation here

DISCLAIMER

Setting Boundaries With Toxic Grandparents During the Holidays

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 05:30:00 -0400

Today on the Healing Mothers' Club, we get real about what it takes to actually create and uphold boundaries with your children's toxic grandparents. If your children's grandparents fall somewhere on the emotional immaturity spectrum, chances are they have displayed toxic behaviours -- and the holidays can be the perfect storm for unhinged emotionally immature behaviour.

Most blogs and Instagram reels will suggest you clearly communicate your boundary. But unfortunately, when dealing with emotionally immature people, we just can't expect our demand for respect will be met.

In this episode, we cover :

The fact that setting and upholding boundaries is probably still something that is very new. For most adult children of emotionally immature parents, setting and upholding boundaries is something they start contemplating when having children.
How simply sticking with boundary scripts can set you up for a full blown trauma response (we aim for a trauma recall here, very different)
How EMDR-inspired coaching cultivates the inner safety needed to effectively enforce boundaries so you can prove to yourself that YOU are the safe adult in your life.

Connect with Danik!

On Instagram, @danikhelpsmoms
Join my coaching newsletter so you don't miss special announcements!

DISCLAIMER:

When Parenting Hacks Don't Work for Your PDA Autistic Child with Dr. Carolyn Solo, PhD, LCSW

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 18:00:00 -0400

Welcome back to the Healing Mothers Club! Have you ever wondered why popular parenting hacks don't work for your child who presents with signs of Autism? This episode is for you. Dr. Carolyn Solo, PhD, LCSW joins the club and shares:

How her personal journey raising 3 daughters, one of whom is PDA Autistic, led her to a complete shift in parenting - from behavioural approaches to nervous system approaches;
What PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or, as we like to call it, Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) is all about and how to accommodate the nervous system;
How she was able to find safety within, despite going against what parenting professionals recommended + traditional schooling

Connect with Carolyn:

On Instagram for EMDR therapy
On Instagram for EMDR intensives business coaching
Listen to her podcast, Future Template Parent if you're an EMDR therapist curious about offering intensives in your practice
Download her free guide if you're an EMDR therapist curious about intensives

Connect with Danik:

Resources mentioned in the episode:

DISCLAIMER:

What Does Nervous System Healing for Parents Even Mean? Danik Answers.

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 05:30:00 -0400

In this solo episode of The Healing Mothers’ Club, Danik continues the conversation from the previous episode about why time-outs are not trauma-informed — and dives deeper into what it truly means to self-regulate as a mom with trauma. She explains how to build a baseline of inner safety so that you can stay regulated when your kids have big emotions or unwanted behaviours. You’ll learn why most popular parenting hacks don’t work for moms with trauma, what nervous system regulation actually looks like, and why timing is everything when it comes to feeling safe enough to co-regulate with your child.

In this episode, Danik talks about:

Why cognitive and "quick fix" parenting tools don't work when your nervous system doesn't feel safe
The difference between top-down and bottom-up nervous system regulation
Why the timing of your regulation practice is more important than the tools you use

❤️‍🩹 Let's have a free, 1:1 chat about your parenting struggles and strategize (no obligation)

You can connect with the host on Instagram, @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER:

Instagram's Most Frequently Unanswered Question: Why Can't I Send My Kid in Time-Out?

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 05:30:00 -0400

Welcome to the first episode of the first official season of the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, fellow healing mom of 2, Certified EMDR therapist, EMDR consultant-in-training, and parenting coach for moms with childhood trauma wanting to break the cycle. Today, we kick off the new season by answering one of the most frequently unanswered questions on the most popular parenting accounts on Instagram: if I can’t give my kid a time-out, what should I do with them when they were intentionally "bad" ?

I break this down with as much nuance as possible :

I explain the reason why time-outs became so popular and why they are now considered an ineffective and potentially traumatizing parenting tool
I answer the question by explaining why co-regulation is what makes most sense on a nervous system level
I go in detail as to what you can expect when using co-regulation as your go-to tool for big feelings AND unwanted behaviours (intentional or not)

✨Get your FREE + UNIQUE parenting strategy today by scheduling a free (no obligation) consultation with me. We’ll also discuss if coaching is right for you. Click here to schedule.

Next week we’ll talk about self-regulation and how good parenting starts with a baseline for inner safety.

Follow me on Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER:

Ep 26 - We're Moving to a Seasonal Format! + Danik's Updates

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 12:15:00 -0400

Updates, announcements, and trauma-informed parenting coaching offered worldwide!

Schedule your free, no obligation virtual consultation to plan your parenting + nervous system strategy 1:1 with Danik to see if coaching is right for you. Click here to schedule.

✨We'll meet for Season 1 on November 3rd

🇫🇷 Francophones and French-speakers: The podcast Mères Conscientes will drop soon. More details to come 👀

Thank you for being here❤️

Ep 25 - The Hidden Link Between Mom Rage and Childhood Trauma

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 05:00:00 -0400

What if your mom rage isn’t just about being overstimulated or burned out — but about old trauma being reactivated? In this episode, Danik Bernier, trauma therapist and fellow mom, reframes mom rage through the lens of the nervous system and childhood emotional neglect. She shares her personal story and how EMDR therapy helped her break free from survival patterns passed down through generations.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

· Why mainstream narratives about mom rage miss the deeper trauma connection

· How dissociation and “fight mode” show up during rage episodes

· The role of pre-verbal trauma and the nervous system in motherhood

✨ Schedule your free virtual consultation here before the new-year rush (open to 🇨🇦 residents of Alberta, Ontario & Quebec)

🫶Follow Danik on Instagram, @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER:

Ep 24 - Healing in Motherhood After Narcissistic Abuse in Childhood

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode of The Healing Mothers’ Club, we continue our mini-series on the impacts of narcissistic abuse on motherhood. If you grew up with narcissistic parents, you know how hard it can be to break the cycle while raising your own children. Today, I’m sharing the key elements of healing that help you move from parenting out of survival mode to parenting with presence, safety, and authenticity.

· Why self-regulation is essential when your child’s big emotions trigger your own survival responses

· The practice of “Emotional Safety Hygiene” and how it strengthens your nervous system

· How EMDR therapy and healthy boundaries support cycle breaking in motherhood

✨ Join the waitlist for my upcoming EMDR group therapy here

DISCLAIMER:

Ep 23 – The Golden Child and the Scapegoat with Mel Guttman, IFS Therapist

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Welcome back to the Healing Mothers’ Club! As part of the mini-series on the effects of narcissistic abuse on motherhood, Danik is joined by Mel Guttman, a licensed IFS therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse and family estrangement.

In today’s episode, we cover:

What is self-gaslighting and how to get out of the fog;
How IFS Therapy and EMDR Therapy are game-changers for survivors of narcissistic abuse (and how talk therapy can only go so far);
Why you may want to maintain a relationship with your narcissistic parent as a mother yourself, even if you logically know maintaining the relationship can be toxic;
The “Scapegoat”, the “Golden Child”, and the narcissistic parent dynamic;
The moments that make us realize our parent is actually a narcissist (Mel makes a link with the show The Bear on Hulu);
The decision of going no-contact, low-contact, or to remain in full contact;
The fear our child might become a narcissist.

✨ Don’t forget to rate and follow the show – it helps moms find the show and break isolation

Connect with Mel Guttman here:

Instagram: @fallengoldenchild

TikTok: @fallengoldenchild

Website: https://www.ifswitch.com

Connect with Danik Bernier here:

Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

Website (EMDR Therapy in Alberta, Ontario, and Quebec): danikbernier.com

❗FREE guide: When the Scapegoat Becomes a Mom (a guide on assertiveness and boundary setting with your narcissistic mother)

DISCLAIMER :

Ep 22 - The Impacts of Narcissistic Abuse on Parenting Skills [Narcissism Series]

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 05:00:00 -0400

If you're a mom with a history of emotional neglect or narcissistic abuse, you may be parenting from survival mode without even realizing it. In this episode, I explore how unresolved childhood trauma shows up in motherhood and why your nervous system responds to your child’s big emotions as if they’re a threat. Understanding these trauma patterns is the first step in breaking the cycle.

In this episode, I talk about:

How emotional neglect from a narcissistic parent resurfaces in parenting
Why moms experience fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses during their child’s meltdowns
The hidden trauma behind mom rage, people-pleasing, and emotional shutdowns

✨ FREE GUIDE: When the Scapegoat Becomes a Mom (a guide on assertiveness and boundary setting with your narcissistic mother)

Connect with Danik Bernier :

Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

Psychotherapy website (Alberta, Ontario, Quebec 🇨🇦): danikbernier.com

DISCLAIMER :

Ep 21 - Back-to-School Overstimulation and How to Manage

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 06:50:00 -0400

In this episode of The Healing Mothers' Club, Danik Bernier delves into how moms can best prepare for the (unfortunately inevitable) generalized sense of overstimulation that happens when kids go back to school. She gives you tips and tricks on how you can navigate this tough situation so you feel like your family isn't the odd one out and you have a better idea about what needs to be prioritized. Because attunement to our kids' needs is something that we can build.

Connect with Danik! :

· Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER

This podcast is not meant to replace psychotherapy from a licensed mental health professional, does not give medical advice, and does not provide a diagnosis. This podcast is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Ep 20 - Trying to Keep Our Sanity with Our Overstimulated Kids After School

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode of The Healing Mothers' Club, Danik Bernier preps us to manage the overstimulation our kids come back from school with. It's almost that time of year where they come back home and it looks like yelling, trash everywhere, and probably you in the bathroom crying trying to manage our overwhelm. Danik encourages us to focus on co-regulation right away. When our kids get home, instead of demands and asking them questions, we want to be ahead of the game (even if they seem calm). They need time to acclimate to their new rhythm of school, as do you! Tune in for more insights and strategies to help you self-regulate and manage expectations when it comes to the new season upcoming for all moms and their children.

Resources:

1. Self-Regulation for Moms masterclass

2. The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce D. Perry and Maia Szalavitz

Connect with Danik! :

· Instagram

· EMDR Consultation for EMDR trained therapists

DISCLAIMER

Ep 19 - Becoming an Attuned Mom Despite Emotional Neglect in Childhood

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode of The Healing Mothers' Club, Danik Bernier delves into how moms who experienced emotional neglect in childhood can still become attuned and responsive to their children's needs. She explores the reasons behind the challenges these moms face and offers practical tips for developing emotional attunement. Through self-awareness and emotional literacy, Danik provides a compassionate roadmap for mothers to nurture their children with empathy and love, despite their past experiences. Tune in for insights and strategies to help you connect more deeply with your child and yourself.

Resources:

1. Self-Regulation for Moms masterclass

2. The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce D. Perry and Maia Szalavitz

Connect with Danik! :

· Instagram

· EMDR Consultation for EMDR trained therapists

DISCLAIMER

Ep 18 - Overcoming the Overwhelm of Summer Without a Village

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Welcome back to another episode of the Healing Mothers’ Club! In today's episode, we explore the often overwhelming experience of summer, especially for those without the support of an extended family. Danik shares insights on dealing with the feelings of isolation and deception that many moms face when summer doesn't meet their idealized expectations. From managing overstimulation and anxiety to finding peace in small moments, this episode provides validation and practical advice for healing moms navigating the summer months.

Key Points Discussed:

The challenges of summer for moms without a support system
The emotional impact of going no-contact with extended family
The common feeling of deception when summer doesn't match expectations
The importance of recognizing the romanticization of summer
How to find moments of peace and self-regulation amidst the chaos
Reframing summer as a neutral season and accepting its ups and downs

Connect with Danik:

· Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

· Click here to download the free guide to Anger + Self-Regulation (and get on my email list)

DISCLAIMER

Ep 17 - Experiencing Anger as a Mom with Childhood Trauma

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today I’m addressing a topic that's been highly requested by listeners and Instagram followers: experiencing anger as a mom with childhood trauma.

Listen as I explain why anger is a taboo subject, why moms who are childhood trauma survivors might have a really hard time expressing healthy anger, and what to do about it.

If you've enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world to me if you could give it 5 stars and leave a review!

Resources mentioned:

Self-Regulation for Moms Masterclass
Sign up to my newsletter
Episode 12, "Nervous System Regulation vs. Emotional Regulation for Moms"

Connect with me! :

Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER

Ep 16 - Navigating Toddler Tantrums: What’s Normal and How to Cope

Thu, 04 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Welcome back to the Healing Mothers’ Club with Danik Bernier! In today's episode, we dive into a topic every mom grapples with: Are my child's tantrums normal? And what should I do if they seem to last longer than expected?

As we continue day 5 of our 7-day mini-series on self-regulation for moms, we'll explore:

Understanding typical vs. concerning tantrum behavior through a trauma-focused lens.
The importance of self-regulation for moms to effectively observe and respond to their child's emotional outbursts.
How to differentiate between developmentally appropriate expressions of emotions and signs that your child may need additional support.
Practical tips for being a safe, empathetic presence for your child during their tantrums.

Danik shares her personal experiences and insights, reassuring moms that tantrums, no matter how intense, are a normal part of childhood. She emphasizes the importance of moms addressing their own self-regulation challenges to break the cycle of trauma and be the supportive presence their children need.

Join the conversation and discover how to navigate your child's emotional storms with confidence and empathy. Don’t miss out on the special enrollment for the Self-Regulation for Moms masterclass, open until Monday, July 8th at midnight!

Take a peak at the Self-Regulation for Moms masterclass here

Connect with Danik:

Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER

Ep 15 - The Type of Childhood Trauma That Most Often Leads Moms to Lose It With Their Kids

Wed, 03 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Today on "Healing Mothers' Club", your host Danik Bernier talks about the type of trauma that most often leads moms to not be able to be completely attuned with their kids and to not be able to provide the co-regulation their kids need when they have big feelings. The goal of this episode is not to say that there is a type of trauma that is worse than others, but to explain the fact that was chronically left out for you as a child shows up in motherhood.

I go deeper in this topic in my online masterclass, Self-Regulation for Moms. Doors close July 8th, 2024!

Connect with Danik:

Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER

Ep 14 - Most Parenting Courses Fail Moms with Trauma

Tue, 02 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -0400

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today I’m explaining why most parenting courses out there fail moms with trauma. Unfortunately, most moms can perceive that it is THEM failing at implementing what they are learning in the parenting course they bought, but it's not them. It's the prescriptive parenting methods used.

Self-Regulation for Moms masterclass is live! Catch it here

Connect with Danik:

· Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER

Ep 13 - I Needed Self-Regulation Techniques (Even as a Therapist)

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 07:15:00 -0400

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today we're kick starting a mini series to celebrate the launch of my new online masterclass, Self-Regulation for Moms. Click here to get to the course!

Today I explain why I would have needed self-regulation techniques as a mom myself (even though I'm a trained therapist) :

· I couldn't see my child struggling when I was brushing his teeth, therefore causing chronic discomfort and could see the signs of trauma in him;

· I realized that my nervous system was taking me to a place of trauma each time I had to do the bedtime routine;

· I then came up with the techniques I teach you in the masterclass in order to truly become a trauma-informed parent.

Get the Self-Regulation for Moms masterclass here !

Connect with Danik:

· Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

DISCLAIMER

Ep 12 - Nervous System Regulation vs. Emotional Regulation For Moms

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0400

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today I’m explaining the difference between nervous system regulation and emotional regulation. This is a tricky one because we hear so much contradicting information out there!

The goal with today’s episode is to leave you feeling like:

· You understand the main differences between the two strategies;

· You understand that it is NOT your fault if you tried one technique and it didn’t help;

· You’re empowered to make informed decisions about what works best for your nervous system.

Connect with Danik :

· Instagram is @danikhelpsmoms

· Click here to download the free guide to Anger + Self-Regulation (and get on my email list)

· For therapists seeking clinical consultation, click here

DISCLAIMER

Ep 11- When Childhood Trauma Resurfaces in Motherhood

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 07:15:00 -0400

Hello and welcome to the Healing Mothers’ Club podcast! I’m your host, Danik Bernier, and today we’re diving into how childhood trauma can resurface when we become mothers.

In previous episodes, I touched on this topic during the postpartum period, but today we'll explore it throughout all stages of motherhood. I’ll be talking about trauma resurfacing in all stages and ways to stick with your plan to become a trauma-informed parent:

· From postpartum to early childhood

· teenage years, and

· becoming or staying a trauma-informed parent as the mom of an adult child.

Connect with Danik:

· Instagram is @danikhelpsmoms

· Click here to download the free guide to Anger + Self-Regulation (and get on my email list)

· For therapists seeking clinical consultation, click here

DISCLAIMER

Ep 10 - Welcome to the Healing Mothers' Club!

Sun, 26 May 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Welcome back to the podcast under a brand-new name! I’m so excited to have you here and accompany you in this healing journey in motherhood. My name is Danik Bernier, and I'm a mom of two littles, a social worker, psychotherapist, and parenting coach. I can't tell you how excited I am to bring this podcast to life because I’ve been wanting to break the isolation and validate the experiences of moms with trauma for such a long time. You probably didn’t want to be a part of this club because of all the pain you had to go through in order to get here, but know that this is your space and you are welcome here, as your true authentic self. Tune in to today's episode as I tell you more about where I’ve been in the last year since the last episode aired, to gain a new perspective on healing in order to break trauma cycles, and to feel like you don’t have to be doing the healing work alone. It’s a heavy lift but it doesn’t have to be done in isolation.

If you want more support in your healing journey, I invite you to download my free guide to navigate anger and regulation and to join my email list. Because self-regulation doesn’t have to rhyme with being calm. Click here!

By downloading and joining the email list you will be the first to know when my online masterclass, Self-Regulation for Moms, will be up and running.

Connect with Danik:

· Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms

· Book with me for EMDR therapy (Ontario and Quebec, Alberta will be added soon!): www.danikbernier.com

· For therapists seeking clinical consultation: https://www.danikbernier.com/clinical-consultation-for-therapists

DISCLAIMER

Ep 9 - How to Know if You Have Trauma to Heal as a Postpartum Mom

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Hello and welcome the Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms podcast. Today, I’m talking about the ways we can figure out for ourselves if we have trauma that needs healing as a postpartum mom. This episode, like every other, is not meant to replace an assessment or therapy provided by a mental health professional, but rather to expose the fact that trauma is subjective, and NO ONE can decide if what we went through was traumatic or not. We can have trauma symptoms even if we do not have PTSD.

As postpartum moms, we go through a lot. So it’s only natural to stop and think about how we feel in regards to certain things we went through during our perinatal journey – or the things we needed but were not given.

In this episode, I chat about:

How you can check-in with yourself to notice what your body is trying to tell you
How we can decide if something was traumatic or not
How to release the trauma so that you can go back to being a present mom

Connect with Danik:

Resources from this episode:

Videos that explain EMDR Therapy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pkfln-ZtWeY&t=22s / https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QJbCtr8bvA&t=15s / https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5dfULBQpWw

Quote:

“It’s important to note that the definition of trauma is broader than we think. We’re quick to think about major life events that left us feeling terrorized or events that almost took our life. While those can definitely cause trauma, there is just so much more.”

DISCLAIMER

Ep 8 - The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 17:30:00 -0400

Hello and welcome back to the Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms podcast! I’m so glad to be back after this short (but needed) break. If it’s your first time here, hi! My name is Danik Bernier, and I'm a mom of two littles, a social worker, and a psychotherapist. I’m so glad to have you here, where you’ll get the validation you most likely need: entering motherhood is not always easy, especially when there are layers of trauma into the mix. Spoiler: they OFTEN have something to do with your postpartum depression and anxiety symptoms.

TRIGGER WARNING: I will talk about different forms of trauma and will give some examples.

In this episode, I chat about:

The ways a "village" supports the prevention and/or helps with postpartum depression and anxiety
The ways different types of trauma impacts us as new moms and show up in every day life (the mental health symptoms)
How EMDR Therapy can help not only with coping but treating the potential source of your postpartum depression and anxiety.

EMDR Intensives for the fall are opening in September!

Schedule a free call with me

Connect with Danik:

Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms
Website: www.danikbernier.com

Quote:

“When you went through childhood trauma, chances are, there is no village.”

DISCLAIMER

Ep 7 - The Difference Between Postpartum Trauma and Anxiety

Fri, 19 May 2023 18:00:00 -0400

Hey postpartum moms, welcome to episode 7 of Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms. Trauma and anxiety symptoms often overlap, so today I'm breaking down the difference between the two and how they can both show up in this new stage of motherhood.

After listening to this episode, you will know how to spot anxiety and how to spot trauma (without diagnosing yourself, of course, get a better sense of what is going on for you as you navigate motherhood and what you can do about releasing the trauma that shows up as anxiety in your everyday life. Your baby needs you to take care of yourself in order to show up for them - I explain to you how this can happen.

In this episode, I chat about:

The overlaps between anxiety and trauma
The difference between anxiety and trauma
What we can do to release the trauma that shows up as anxiety on a daily basis so that you can enjoy being a mom.

Connect with Danik:

Instagram: @danikhelpsmoms
Psychology Today profile: click here

Curious about working with me?

Schedule a free call with me

DISCLAIMER

EP 6 - EMDR Intensives for Postpartum Moms

Fri, 12 May 2023 18:00:00 -0400

Welcome to this 6th episode of the Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms podcast. This episode is all about my specialty: EMDR Intensives for Postpartum Moms. You've realized that your childhood stuff mixed with birth experience stuff and baby blues sticking longer than it should have to be addressed. But seeking therapy for 1 hour weekly seems sooo rough. We're often way too busy!

Enter EMDR Intensives. This safe and effective method of providing therapy is exactly what busy postpartum moms need. Tune in as I explain:

What you can expect in an EMDR Intensive
Why they work so well
Why you're allowed and worth considering investing in your mental health by doing up to 3 months' worth of therapy in 3 days.

SCHEDULE YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY!

Click here for your no obligation free virtual consultation and ask me anything: https://calendly.com/danikhelpsmoms

Connect with Danik:

DISCLAIMER

Ep 5 - The Trauma of Being Told "Your Baby Has a Disability"

Fri, 05 May 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Hello and welcome to episode 5 of Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms. This episode brings me back to my hospital social worker days where I worked with parents who received the news that their baby or toddler had Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, a genetic syndrome, Autism, and/or a Developmental Delay, to name a few. I loved my work with these incredible parents, but it was heart crushing to see the pain in their eyes. Lucky for me, I often got to see the pain turn into hope and joy as they released the trauma they experienced (with the years and a team effort, as I didn’t offer EMDR Therapy at the time).

It's important to recognize that for parents of a child with a disability, survival mode is often the only choice they have. Survival mode paired with confusion, intense emotions, and feelings of grief mixed with total helplessness can be a recipe for trauma to form into the nervous system and the brain. EMDR Therapy can help release those intense sensations so that you can be ok with the cards you were dealt.

In this episode, I chat about:

My experience as a hospital social worker and the resilience I’ve witnessed
How trauma can develop in parents of a child with a disability
The painful thoughts that can come visit us as we navigate the difficult (and often confusing) world of disabilities (and how normal they are!)
How parents of a child with a disability can release their trauma with EMDR Therapy so that they can feel confident in their role and reconnect with their strength – as well as their child’s.

SCHEDULE YOUR EMDR INTENSIVE TODAY!

Limited spots available for this summer. You could get up to 3 months' worth of therapy in 3 days. Most insurance providers will cover the fee in part or in full (confirm that social work services are covered first). Schedule a free call with me

Connect with Danik:

Quote:

“It doesn’t make you a horrible mother to say out loud ‘I wanted a different baby’. This is a painful thought, but it’s there for many. The sooner we can recognize it, the sooner we can release it and enjoy the baby we do have in front of us”.

DISCLAIMER

Ep 4 - How Trauma from Sexual Abuse can Impact your Birthing Experience on a Psychological Level

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Why is it important for soon-to-be moms and veteran moms to recognize sexual trauma? It all has to do with what you can do to prevent birth trauma. When we are pregnant and we go into labour and delivery, without recognizing that our body holds trauma, we are at higher risk for birth trauma. There are some physical sensations that can be really intense, which can trigger the trauma that is stored in your body as a survivor of sexual abuse. If we recognize and not minimize our story, then we know what to expect when it’s time to have this baby. You are then able to make empowered decisions about what you want and don’t want when giving birth – unapologetically.

Before you tune into the episode, I want to give you a little warning. If you're a trauma survivor, this podcast episode might be triggering for you, as I talk about trauma in detail and give real-life examples. Please feel free to skip parts of the episode or the entire episode completely if it causes you any distress.

In this episode, I chat about:

How to make informed and empowered decisions to prevent birth trauma
Preparing your body to give birth - on a physical and psychological level
How EMDR therapy can help you release the trauma your body holds before giving birth
What it looks like to process trauma with EMDR therapy (triggering memory vs sad memory)
Important realizations that need to happen in order to let healing take place (the tampon question)
Why it's important to let your healthcare providers know that you have a history of sexual abuse

Connect with Danik:

Quote:

“Trauma already took enough away from you. It doesn't have to take away the [experience of the] birth of your baby too.”

DISCLAIMER

Ep 3 The Link Between Unrealistic Expectations of Being the Perfect Mom & Trauma

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 06:10:00 -0400

Have you ever felt like you're never quite measuring up to the expectations of being the perfect mom? If so, you're not alone. As mothers, we often put a huge amount of pressure on ourselves to provide our children with the best possible childhood, and it is no surprise that we struggle to live up to the ideal. But have you ever considered where this pressure of being the perfect mom comes from? In today's podcast episode, I dive deep into the link between the unrealistic expectations of motherhood that society puts on us and our childhood trauma.

Tune in as I share the different types of trauma that can influence our lives as moms, how they can show up in our daily lives, and what happens when we finally release the pressure and let go of the need for perfectionism. Whether you're currently struggling with the demands of motherhood or simply seeking to understand the root causes of this pressure, I invite you to join me in today’s episode so together we can let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace the messy, imperfect reality of motherhood.

In this episode, I chat about:

The different reasons why moms put a huge amount of pressure on themselves to be the perfect mom
Why maintaining the image of the perfect mom is unrealistic
Do you freak out at the thought of putting your child in daycare?
Mind games you might be experiencing if you had a parent with narcissistic traits
Why hand-me-downs might trigger some postpartum moms
How to release the pressure of being the perfect mom
The benefits of letting go of the pressure and perfectionism

Connect with Danik:

Related episodes:

Episode 2 - Birth Trauma: What it is, How to Recognize It & How to Heal

Quote:

“As moms, we feel like we have to maintain this perfect mom image, which is totally unrealistic and it sets us up for failure.”

DISCLAIMER

Ep 2 - Birth Trauma: What it is, How to Recognize it & How to Heal

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 06:05:00 -0400

Can you experience birth trauma even if the birth went well, medically speaking? I get asked this question a lot. If you've given birth or witnessed someone giving birth, you know that no matter how prepared you are, things might go sideways — and not only in the medical sense (such as fearing for the mom's or child's life). That's why in today's podcast episode, I want to dive deeper into the topic of birth trauma, demystify the reasons why you can experience birth trauma even if the birth went well, explain the symptoms of birth trauma, and much more.

In this episode, I chat about:

What trauma means in the context of mom's mental health
What birth trauma means in medical terms
Common symptoms of birth trauma
Why your brain may link birth trauma with previous sexual abuse if you're a survivor of sexual abuse
How to change the negative emotional charge in your body
How you will view your birth trauma after resolving the experience

Connect with Danik:

Quote:

“Trauma is not just one big event that left you with PTSD symptoms.”

DISCLAIMER

Ep 1 - How to Heal Intergenerational Trauma for Postpartum Moms

Fri, 21 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0400

Hello and welcome to the very first episode of Trauma Healing for Postpartum Moms. My name is Danik Bernier, and I'm a mom of two littles, a social worker, and a psychotherapist. I can't tell you how excited I am to bring this podcast to life because I've experienced postpartum anxiety and depression symptoms during pregnancy myself. Like most moms, I believed that feeling mentally drained was a normal part of motherhood and that I should just get over it or else I'd be failing my son.

But after going through the experience and talking to hundreds of postpartum moms, I know that's not true. That's why it's become my mission to help other postpartum moms heal their trauma. Tune in to today's episode as I tell you more about myself, my great-grandmother's and my own postpartum experience, how I help moms heal their intergenerational trauma, and so much more.

In this episode, I chat about:

My postpartum experience
What postpartum psychosis is and why it's important to understand
Why my great-grandmother was placed in an asylum
What intergenerational trauma is
What EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is and what the process looks like
Why talk therapy alone may not be effective for healing intergenerational trauma

Connect with Danik:

Resources from this episode:

Mental hygiene: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2408392/
Postpartum Psychosis: https://www.postpartum.net/learn-more/postpartum-psychosis/
Regulation 17 in Ontario: https://news.ontario.ca/en/release/35963/ontario-apologizes-for-1912-law-on-french-in-schools
Information about EMDR therapy in the perinatal period, from pregnancy to postpartum: https://www.emdria.org/public-resources/emdr-therapy-for-perinatal-mental-health/

Quote:

“Like most moms, I was made to believe that feeling like you were hit by a truck, physically and mentally, was just a normal part of motherhood and that I should just suck it up because if I don't, that means I already failed my son.”

DISCLAIMER