<![CDATA[Hijacked]]>5f7cefae-2ccb-5230-862f-d5449f4813c0Sun, 24 May 2026 11:08:57 +0000Captivate.fmBarry Whitehttps://artwork.captivate.fm/d3273c72-bc3b-48ab-a3db-b6a46d2d57ba/Hijacked.jpegHijackedBarry WhiteBarry WhiteHijacked explores what happens when our minds, emotions, and relationships get taken over — by trauma, anxiety, and the patterns we never chose. Hosted by a psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience, this podcast unpacks the psychology behind why we feel stuck and how we find our way back.https://hijacked.captivate.fmfalseserialnopodcastLondon, EnglandRelationship Conflicts - how our bodies protect usRelationship Conflicts - how our bodies protect usYou didn't mean to say that. You didn't want the argument to go where it went. And yet — there you were, flooded, reactive, saying things you'd never choose to say in a calmer moment. This wasn't a failure of love or character. This was your nervous system doing exactly what it was built to do.

In this first episode of Hijacked, therapist and trainer Barry White explores what actually happens inside you during conflict — and why the most sophisticated part of your brain goes temporarily offline before you've even had a chance to respond.

We cover the amygdala hijack, the four survival responses (fight, flight, freeze and fawn), and why understanding the biology of conflict changes everything about how you experience it — in your closest relationships, and at work.

In this episode:

  1. Why conflict triggers a survival response before conscious thought
  2. The four ways we react when our nervous system sounds the alarm
  3. What diffuse physiological arousal means — and why it matters
  4. Why this isn't about weakness, willpower, or working harder

This is the first episode in a three-part series on conflict, rupture, and recovery.

]]>You didn't mean to say that. You didn't want the argument to go where it went. And yet — there you were, flooded, reactive, saying things you'd never choose to say in a calmer moment. This wasn't a failure of love or character. This was your nervous system doing exactly what it was built to do.

In this first episode of Hijacked, therapist and trainer Barry White explores what actually happens inside you during conflict — and why the most sophisticated part of your brain goes temporarily offline before you've even had a chance to respond.

We cover the amygdala hijack, the four survival responses (fight, flight, freeze and fawn), and why understanding the biology of conflict changes everything about how you experience it — in your closest relationships, and at work.

In this episode:

  1. Why conflict triggers a survival response before conscious thought
  2. The four ways we react when our nervous system sounds the alarm
  3. What diffuse physiological arousal means — and why it matters
  4. Why this isn't about weakness, willpower, or working harder

This is the first episode in a three-part series on conflict, rupture, and recovery.

]]>c4fba16b-b073-4b8b-a582-396a35dfbde1Tue, 17 Mar 2026 11:35:00 +010017:06falsefull1111The Morning after - Why Arguments Don't End When They EndThe Morning after - Why Arguments Don't End When They EndThe argument has stopped. But something is still sitting in the room. You're moving around each other carefully, replaying what was said, wondering how to find your way back. This is the morning after — and what happens here matters more than most people realise.

In this second episode of Hijacked, Barry White explores the biology of what comes after conflict — and why two people who love each other can find themselves so completely out of reach of one another in the hours that follow an argument.

We cover rupture and repair, the science of different recovery timescales, the pursuer and withdrawer dynamic, the rarely-named role of shame in the aftermath of conflict, and the concept of emotional debt — the accumulated weight of what doesn't get repaired.

In this episode:

  1. Why the hijack doesn't end when the argument stops
  2. Gottman's research on repair attempts — and why timing matters as much as intention
  3. The pursuer and the withdrawer — and why they're trying to reach the same place
  4. Shame after conflict — what it is, why it makes repair harder, and what actually helps
  5. Emotional debt — what accumulates when ruptures go unresolved, in relationships and at work

Part two of a three-episode series on conflict, rupture, and recovery.

]]>The argument has stopped. But something is still sitting in the room. You're moving around each other carefully, replaying what was said, wondering how to find your way back. This is the morning after — and what happens here matters more than most people realise.

In this second episode of Hijacked, Barry White explores the biology of what comes after conflict — and why two people who love each other can find themselves so completely out of reach of one another in the hours that follow an argument.

We cover rupture and repair, the science of different recovery timescales, the pursuer and withdrawer dynamic, the rarely-named role of shame in the aftermath of conflict, and the concept of emotional debt — the accumulated weight of what doesn't get repaired.

In this episode:

  1. Why the hijack doesn't end when the argument stops
  2. Gottman's research on repair attempts — and why timing matters as much as intention
  3. The pursuer and the withdrawer — and why they're trying to reach the same place
  4. Shame after conflict — what it is, why it makes repair harder, and what actually helps
  5. Emotional debt — what accumulates when ruptures go unresolved, in relationships and at work

Part two of a three-episode series on conflict, rupture, and recovery.

]]>617479af-1e0b-45ba-8526-d5ecc2113a4aTue, 17 Mar 2026 11:45:00 +010025:45falsefull1221Coming Back — How We Recover TogetherComing Back — How We Recover TogetherYou can't think your way back from flooded. You can't reason your way back to calm. And yet most of us, in the aftermath of conflict, reach straight for words — explaining, defending, problem-solving — not realising that the part of the brain that processes any of that has temporarily gone offline.

In this third and final episode of the Hijacked conflict trilogy, Barry White explores the science of how we actually recover — and why the most powerful thing you can offer someone in distress isn't the right words. It's your own regulated presence.

We cover co-regulation, the biology of nervous system synchronisation, neuroception and Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory — and what thirty years of clinical experience reveals about the moments when everything in a room can change, without a single word being spoken.

In this episode:

  1. Why we are wired from birth to recover through each other, not alone
  2. What co-regulation actually is — and why it's not a technique
  3. The pursuer and withdrawer dynamic — and what both people really need
  4. Why a regulated nervous system is the foundation of great leadership
  5. Practical ways to build your own capacity to be a grounded presence

The final episode in a three-part series on conflict, rupture, and recovery.

]]>You can't think your way back from flooded. You can't reason your way back to calm. And yet most of us, in the aftermath of conflict, reach straight for words — explaining, defending, problem-solving — not realising that the part of the brain that processes any of that has temporarily gone offline.

In this third and final episode of the Hijacked conflict trilogy, Barry White explores the science of how we actually recover — and why the most powerful thing you can offer someone in distress isn't the right words. It's your own regulated presence.

We cover co-regulation, the biology of nervous system synchronisation, neuroception and Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory — and what thirty years of clinical experience reveals about the moments when everything in a room can change, without a single word being spoken.

In this episode:

  1. Why we are wired from birth to recover through each other, not alone
  2. What co-regulation actually is — and why it's not a technique
  3. The pursuer and withdrawer dynamic — and what both people really need
  4. Why a regulated nervous system is the foundation of great leadership
  5. Practical ways to build your own capacity to be a grounded presence

The final episode in a three-part series on conflict, rupture, and recovery.

]]>ef85ee61-7d4d-45e7-ac6a-18663eb44db0Tue, 17 Mar 2026 11:50:00 +010022:29falsefull1331Dealing with GriefDealing with GriefGrief is one of those things that are universal - yet we do not universally talk about it or know how to deal with it.

This is the first of three episodes looking at this most personal of things from both a professional and personal perspective

This series will grow and deepen so please keep coming back and let others know if you find it helpful

]]>Grief is one of those things that are universal - yet we do not universally talk about it or know how to deal with it.

This is the first of three episodes looking at this most personal of things from both a professional and personal perspective

This series will grow and deepen so please keep coming back and let others know if you find it helpful

]]>d63a0376-17bc-4587-99cc-c795301607a6Sun, 29 Mar 2026 14:50:00 +010027:23falsefull2112Working with GriefWorking with GriefHow we can begin to work with the grief we have in ways that help and not harm - not by avoiding but by discovering ways through grief.

This episode contains a personal story of one of my close encounters with death - a life changing event that has shaped my career and my being.

]]>How we can begin to work with the grief we have in ways that help and not harm - not by avoiding but by discovering ways through grief.

This episode contains a personal story of one of my close encounters with death - a life changing event that has shaped my career and my being.

]]>d901c3ef-cdf4-4693-9676-fad25ddab402Sun, 29 Mar 2026 14:50:00 +010018:02falsefull2222Moving forward with GriefMoving forward with GriefThe third in this series about grief - how to continue the journey and begin to embrace life in new ways - adjusting by living with grief in such a way that we can not only just survive but find a unique path to handle life differently

]]>The third in this series about grief - how to continue the journey and begin to embrace life in new ways - adjusting by living with grief in such a way that we can not only just survive but find a unique path to handle life differently

]]>5d8fc2e3-c962-4c3b-8e90-c4bf52e5e691Sun, 29 Mar 2026 14:55:00 +010021:22falsefull2332Why won't anyone listen to us?Why won't anyone listen to us?This episode is the first of a look at stress - a very common yet not understood place to be in and experience. We are going to go deeper and explore more as episodes are added - for example looking at how stress can affect us in a work setting.

In each of the episodes we will look at what you can do differently to make life easier step by step

]]>This episode is the first of a look at stress - a very common yet not understood place to be in and experience. We are going to go deeper and explore more as episodes are added - for example looking at how stress can affect us in a work setting.

In each of the episodes we will look at what you can do differently to make life easier step by step

]]>29085dac-f296-4b22-a5c1-47a24720dbddSun, 24 May 2026 12:00:00 +010018:04falsefull3113