How Not To Suck At Divorce

204. Unrealistic Divorce Expectations That Are Making Your Case More Stressful and Expensive

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0500

You might not want to hear this… but you need to.

If your divorce feels more stressful than it should, you might be part of the problem—and it likely comes down to unrealistic expectations.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill break down the most common ways clients unintentionally make their divorce harder, more expensive, and more emotionally draining.

From expecting your attorney to respond immediately… to assuming you’ll get full custody… to chasing a “forensic accountant fantasy”… this episode is your reality check.

Because divorce is emotional—but the legal system is procedural. And when your expectations don’t match how the system actually works, it creates unnecessary stress, frustration, and costly mistakes.

What You’ll Learn:

Why expecting immediate responses from your attorney is setting you up for frustration
What actually qualifies as a legal “emergency” (and what doesn’t)
Why most people don’t need a forensic accountant (and when you actually do)
The truth about full custody and how courts really make decisions
Why divorce timelines are not in your control
How unrealistic expectations increase your anxiety—and your legal bills

Key Takeaway:

Divorce isn’t just hard because of your ex.

It’s hard because of the expectations you bring into it.

When you shift your mindset and understand what you can—and can’t—control, the entire process becomes more manageable.

Want more real, no-BS divorce advice?

👉 Get full episode breakdowns, strategy, and resources here:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/advice

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.

Natural Cycles

203. Divorce Anxiety and Real Life Ways to Survive- Mini Episode

Wed, 08 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0500

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Divorce is overwhelming. Some days you’re strong, focused, and ready to tackle legal decisions. Other days you just need something — anything — to help calm your nervous system and get through the moment.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, host Andrea Rappaport shares three surprisingly simple tools that helped her survive some of the hardest days during her own divorce:

Target. Alexa. TikTok.

These everyday distractions may sound random, but they can actually help interrupt the emotional spiral that many people experience during divorce. When your brain gets stuck ruminating about things you cannot control, small shifts in your environment can make a big difference.

If you’re struggling with loneliness, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts during divorce, this episode offers practical — and refreshingly honest — ways to break the cycle.

Why Divorce Triggers Emotional Spirals

Divorce often creates a perfect storm of stress:

• uncertainty about the future

• loneliness and silence at home

• repetitive thoughts about the past

• emotional overwhelm

When your brain gets stuck in this loop, it becomes harder to regulate your emotions. Sometimes the healthiest move isn’t deep therapy work — it’s simply interrupting the spiral long enough to reset your nervous system.

3 Surprisingly Helpful Divorce Coping Tools

1. Target: Get Out of the House

When you're stuck ruminating about your divorce, one of the best things you can do is change your physical environment.

Walking around a place like Target gives your brain new visual input — colors, textures, movement — which can interrupt repetitive thought patterns.

You don’t need to go on a shopping spree. Just walking through a store, moving your body, and being around other people can lift your mood and help you reset.

2. Alexa: Don’t Sit in Silence

Silence can be one of the hardest parts of divorce, especially when you suddenly find yourself living alone.

Using a voice assistant like Alexa (or any smart speaker) can help fill that space with:

• music

• podcasts

• random questions

• background noise

Even small interactions with sound can help regulate your emotional state and keep your mind from spiraling.

3. TikTok: Embrace the Distraction

Scrolling on TikTok may not be the self-care advice most therapists give — but sometimes distraction is exactly what you need.

When you're deep in divorce stress, going down a completely unrelated rabbit hole can give your brain a break from obsessive thinking.

The goal isn’t perfection — it’s survival.

Bonus Tip: Go Sit at a Bar (Even If You Don’t Drink)

One of Andrea’s unexpected coping strategies during divorce was simply sitting at a bar with a laptop or book.

Not for drinking — for connection.

Bars are one of the few places where casual conversation with strangers still happens. Being around other people, hearing conversations, and interacting with a bartender can break the feeling of isolation many people experience during divorce.

The Truth About Divorce Self-Care

Some days you’ll make healthy choices:

• therapy

• journaling

• exercise

• meditation

Other days you just need something that helps the pain stop for a moment — and that’s okay.

Divorce is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. And learning how to survive the difficult days is part of the process.

Key Takeaways From This Episode

• Divorce anxiety often comes from rumination and emotional isolation

• Changing your environment can help interrupt negative thought loops

• Sound and background noise can reduce feelings of loneliness

• Distraction isn’t always unhealthy — sometimes it’s necessary

• You don’t have to do everything perfectly to get through divorce

Remember This

Your divorce will end.

You won’t be going through this forever. One day you will look back and realize that you survived something incredibly hard — and came out stronger on the other side.

And until that day comes, remember:

You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

202. Divorce 101: The Best (and Worst) Questions to Ask Your Divorce Attorney

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0500

Meeting with a divorce attorney for the first time can feel overwhelming. You’re emotional, uncertain, and trying to make decisions that could impact your finances, your children, and your future. The problem is that when you’re in that emotional state, it’s easy to walk into a consultation unprepared and ask the wrong questions-or miss the questions that actually matter.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill pulls back the curtain on what really happens during divorce consultations and shares the best—and worst—questions you can ask a divorce attorney.

If you're preparing to meet with a lawyer, this episode will help you walk into that consultation with confidence, ask smarter questions, and avoid mistakes that could cost you time and money.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

Why divorce attorneys struggle to answer questions like “How long will this take?” and “How much will this cost?”
How preparation before your consultation can dramatically improve your legal strategy
The surprising question every client should ask their attorney about how they present as a witness
How communication expectations with your legal team can affect your experience and your bill
The powerful question Morgan asks clients that reveals the hidden risks in a divorce case

The Questions Divorce Attorneys Wish You Would Ask

During your initial consultation, asking thoughtful questions can help you better understand your case and set realistic expectations.

Some of the most helpful questions include:

1. How would I present as a witness if this case went to court?

Even though most divorces settle before trial, understanding how your behavior, communication, and evidence may be perceived can help you strengthen your case.

2. Is there anything in my story that could make achieving my goals difficult?

This question allows your attorney to set realistic expectations and identify potential challenges early.

3. What is the best way to communicate with you and your team?

Many law firms work collaboratively with legal teams. Understanding how communication works can help you get faster responses and better support.

4. What can I do to be more prepared and save money on legal fees?

Being organized—creating timelines, gathering documents, and preparing information—can significantly reduce the amount of billable time your attorney spends on your case.

Questions That Are Hard for Attorneys to Answer

While they’re completely understandable, two questions clients ask most often are also the hardest to answer:

“How long will my divorce take?”

The timeline depends on many variables, including court schedules, negotiations, cooperation between parties, and whether the case settles or goes to trial.

“How much will my divorce cost?”

Divorce costs can vary widely depending on how contentious the case becomes, whether mediation is used, and how prepared both parties are throughout the process.

The Question That Reveals Everything

One of the most powerful questions Morgan asks potential clients is:

“What’s the worst thing your ex is going to say about you?”

This question often catches people off guard, but it reveals critical information about potential arguments, credibility, and issues that could surface during negotiations or litigation.

Being honest about weaknesses in your case allows your attorney to prepare for them strategically.

Preparing for Your Divorce Consultation

Walking into a consultation prepared can make a huge difference in how productive the meeting is. Some helpful steps include:

gathering financial documents
understanding who your spouse’s attorney may be
organizing a timeline of events
thinking through your goals for the divorce

The more information you bring to the consultation, the easier it is for your attorney to give meaningful guidance.

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Guide: How to Hire the Right Divorce Attorney
The Divorce Crash Course
How Not to Suck at Divorce Private Community

You can find direct links to these resources in the episode show notes.

About the Podcast

How Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by comedian Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce so listeners can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

201. Real Life Divorce Support: 3 Things to do When You Want to Throat Punch Your Ex (Mini Episode)

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0500

Rate our show! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

Divorce can bring out emotions you didn’t even know you had. One minute you're trying to stay calm and take the high road, and the next minute you’re imagining what it would feel like to throat punch your ex. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport talks about what to do when your ex pushes you to your absolute emotional limit. While it might feel satisfying in the moment to lash out, reacting emotionally during the divorce process can make your case more complicated—and a lot more expensive.

Instead of reacting impulsively, there are a few powerful ways to redirect that anger and turn it into something far more productive.

In this episode, you’ll learn three practical ways to manage intense emotions during divorce, avoid unnecessary conflict, and stay focused on the bigger picture: protecting your outcome and your future.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

Why reacting emotionally during divorce can backfire legally and financially
How writing the angry email you’ll never send can help release frustration
The importance of shifting from emotional reaction to strategic thinking
Why understanding your ex’s motivations can help you respond more effectively
How moving your energy into action can help regulate intense emotions during divorce

3 Things to Do Instead of Throat Punching Your Ex

1. Write the email you want to send—but don’t send it.

Get the anger out. Write exactly what you want to say. Just don’t hit send. Emotional messages during divorce can easily become evidence that complicates your case.

2. Think, don’t feel.

When your ex does something that makes you furious, pause and ask yourself: what are they actually trying to accomplish? Understanding their strategy can help you respond more effectively instead of reacting emotionally.

3. Do anything that moves the energy out of your body.

Anger is energy. Go for a walk, organize something, run an errand, take a class—anything that helps you move through the emotion instead of sitting in it.

Divorce Is Emotional—But Strategy Matters

Divorce can sometimes feel like psychological warfare. But the more you can shift from emotional reaction to strategic decision-making, the better your outcome will be.

A moment of anger may feel satisfying in the short term, but preparation and clear thinking will serve you much better throughout the divorce process.

As Andrea says in this episode:

Plan more. Cry less.

Need More Support During Divorce?

If you feel like your divorce process is happening faster than you can keep up with, the Divorce Crash Course can help.

Inside the course, we break down the strategy behind divorce—from finances and working with your attorney to custody agreements and avoiding the biggest mistakes people make during the process.

The goal is simple: help you protect your sanity, your finances, and your future.

Resources Mentioned

The Divorce Crash Course
The How Not to Suck at Divorce private community

About the Podcast

How Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce in plain English—so you can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

200. What Your Divorce Attorney Is Really Saying (And How to Tell if Your Lawyer Is a Bad Communicator)

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0500

Get the NEW Divorce Crash Course right here!

Ever read an email from your divorce attorney and think:

“What the hell does that even mean?”

You’re not alone.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill break down the confusing world of legal jargon, attorney shorthand, and “lawyer speak” that leaves so many divorce clients feeling lost.

If your attorney has ever said things like:

“We’ll reserve that issue.”
“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.”
“The judge may not view this favorably.”
“We need more discovery.”

…and you nodded along while secretly thinking “am I winning or am I getting screwed?” — this episode is for you.

Morgan translates the most common divorce lawyer phrases into plain English, while Andrea asks the questions every client is secretly thinking.

You’ll also learn how to tell the difference between normal legal communication and a lawyer who simply isn’t communicating well.

Because understanding your divorce strategy isn’t a luxury — it’s your right.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

✔ What lawyers actually mean when they say “we’ll reserve that issue”

✔ Why divorce attorneys avoid giving 100% certainty about outcomes

✔ The real meaning behind “the judge may not view this favorably”

✔ Why discovery is one of the most misunderstood parts of divorce

✔ How to tell if your attorney is explaining strategy clearly

✔ Red flags that signal a bad communicator (or worse)

✔ When it might be time to get a second legal opinion

Divorce Lawyer Phrases Translated

Morgan and Andrea break down common phrases you may hear from your divorce attorney:

“That’s not something we want to concede.”

Translation: Not necessarily a “no” — but definitely not right now.

“We’ll reserve that issue.”

Translation: The decision is being pushed down the road until more information is available.

“The judge may not view this favorably.”

Translation: This could seriously backfire in court.

“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.”

Translation: Something behind the scenes is slowing the process down.

“We need more discovery.”

Translation: We need documents, financials, or evidence to support your case.

Green Flags: Signs You Have a Great Divorce Lawyer

A strong divorce attorney should be able to explain:

• What is happening in your case

• Why it matters

• What your options are

• The risks and rewards of each choice

• The strategy moving forward

• The potential cost of each move

A good lawyer explains things like they’re talking to their neighbor — not lecturing a law school class.

Red Flags in Attorney Communication

If you consistently feel:

⚠ More confused after speaking with your lawyer

⚠ Like your questions are dismissed

⚠ Intimidated for asking clarification

⚠ Unsure of the strategy

⚠ Like you’re being told to “just trust me”

…it may be time to reconsider the relationship.

Questions You Should Ask Your Divorce Lawyer

If something doesn’t make sense, try asking:

• “Can you explain that in plain English?”

• “What does that mean for my case specifically?”

• “What’s the best-case and worst-case scenario?”

• “What’s the strategy behind this?”

• “Is this something judges typically approve?”

• “How will this affect my legal fees?”

You deserve to understand the process and the plan.

When It Might Be Time for a Second Opinion

Getting another legal perspective is not a betrayal.

Consider a second opinion if:

Communication is unclear
Strategy hasn’t been explained
You feel dismissed or confused
Your gut says something isn’t right

Great lawyers aren’t threatened by second opinions — they welcome informed clients.

Resources Mentioned

💡 The Divorce Crash Course (DCC)

The step-by-step strategy guide to navigating divorce with clarity.

💬 Join our private community for support, resources, and conversations about divorce.

Listen If You're Wondering

Why does my divorce lawyer speak in legal jargon?
What does discovery mean in divorce?
How do I know if my attorney is doing a good job?
Should I get a second opinion from another divorce lawyer?
Why won’t my lawyer give a clear answer?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

199. Divorce Advice That Will Save You Thousands And Some Humor that Will Save You Sanity

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0500

GET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE!

In this mini episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill introduce something they’ve been quietly working on for months: the brand-new Divorce Crash Course (DCC).

This project has truly been a labor of love—built to give people going through divorce the information most attorneys simply don’t have time to walk you through.

And yes… this episode starts with Andrea surviving a spring break indoor water park, wearing airplane-sized noise-canceling headphones, smelling like pond water, and nearly losing her dignity.

But once the laughter settles, Andrea and Morgan dive into something that could change the way you navigate your divorce.

The Divorce Crash Course was created to help people avoid the most common—and most expensive—mistakes made during divorce.

Because the truth is:

Most people enter divorce with no roadmap, no strategy, and no idea what they don’t know yet.

That’s where the DCC comes in.

What Is the Divorce Crash Course?

The Divorce Crash Course is a private podcast paired with a downloadable guidebook designed to walk you step-by-step through the divorce process.

Inside the Crash Course, Andrea and Morgan break down the biggest issues people face in divorce and provide practical tools to help you make smarter decisions from the beginning.

Unlike typical divorce resources, the DCC combines:

a private podcast you can listen to anytime
a printable guidebook
clickable resources and templates
step-by-step guidance on navigating divorce

The goal?

To give you the same strategic insight Morgan gives her clients in a way that’s accessible, clear, and affordable.

Why This Divorce Crash Course Is Different

Andrea and Morgan spent hours building this program because they know how overwhelming divorce can feel.

Instead of leaving people to figure things out alone, the Divorce Crash Course provides:

A clear roadmap for navigating divorce
Guidance on how to communicate with your attorney
Tools to help you save money on legal fees
Templates to organize your finances and parenting plans
Insider tips on avoiding costly divorce mistakes

And thanks to the support of OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink, the program is available for a fraction of what similar legal resources cost.

What You'll Learn in the Divorce Crash Course

The Divorce Crash Course addresses some of the most common questions people have during divorce, including:

How to Save Money on Divorce Attorney Fees

Learn how to communicate with your attorney efficiently so you’re spending money where it matters most.

What to Do With the Family Home

Should you keep the house or sell it? The course walks through how to think about this decision logically and strategically.

How to Organize Your Divorce Finances

The guidebook includes a custom marital balance sheet template that helps you track assets, debts, and financial information before speaking with your attorney.

Parenting Plans and Custody Agreements

Divorce often becomes most emotional when discussing parenting time.

The course includes:

Common court-approved parenting schedules
Key provisions people forget to include in parenting agreements
Tips for negotiating custody arrangements effectively

The Most Common Divorce Mistakes

Andrea and Morgan also break down the most frequent—and expensive—mistakes people make during divorce and how to avoid them.

What's Included in the Divorce Crash Course

When you purchase the Divorce Crash Course, you’ll receive:

A private podcast with five guided episodes
A downloadable guidebook with clickable resources
A divorce balance sheet template
Custody schedule examples
Tools to help you communicate with your attorney and your ex

Once purchased, the private podcast can be added directly to your preferred podcast app so you can listen just like a normal show.

Andrea recommends listening to one episode at a time and working through the guidebook alongside it.

Frequently Asked Question:

Do I Need the New Divorce Crash Course if I Bought the Old One?

This is the question Andrea has received most frequently.

The answer: Yes, the new Divorce Crash Course is different.

While some concepts may overlap with previous guides, this new version contains completely new content, additional tools, and a private podcast format that makes it easier to absorb the information step-by-step.

Why Andrea and Morgan Created This

Andrea went through divorce herself.

Morgan has spent nearly two decades practicing family law.

Between them, they’ve seen the same painful patterns over and over again:

People making expensive mistakes simply because they didn’t know what questions to ask.

The Divorce Crash Course was built to change that.

It’s designed to give people the knowledge and tools they need to move through divorce with more clarity, confidence, and control.

A Little Humor Along the Way

This mini episode wouldn’t be complete without the signature How Not To Suck At Divorce humor.

Between discussing the Divorce Crash Course, Andrea shares:

Her hatred of indoor water parks
The questionable hygiene of spring break crowds
Wearing pilot-style headphones in public to survive the noise
And the moment a stranger at Dunkin’ Donuts asked if she was her kids’ great grandmother

Because if you’re going to survive divorce…

You might as well laugh along the way.

Where to Get the Divorce Crash Course

You can purchase the Divorce Crash Course directly through the link below.

Once you check out, you’ll receive immediate access to:

the private podcast
the downloadable guidebook
all templates and resources

👉 Get the Divorce Crash Course here:

[Insert Link]

Need More Support?

If you're navigating divorce and looking for support, resources, or community:

Join our private community
Follow us on Instagram
Send us a DM—we answer them

Divorce may feel overwhelming, but you do not have to go through it alone.

Remember

Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint.

You’ve got this.

And we’ve got you.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

198. Divorce SOS: How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0500

How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails During Divorce: 2 Acronyms That Can Save Your Sanity

Divorce can make even the calmest person feel like they are about to unravel.

One inflammatory text. One manipulative email. One last-minute demand from your soon-to-be ex.

And suddenly your nervous system is on fire.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport share two simple acronyms designed to help you stop spiraling, regulate your nervous system, and decide whether a response is actually necessary.

If you are dealing with high-conflict divorce communication, threatening messages, co-parenting drama, or an ex who knows exactly how to push your buttons, this episode will give you practical tools you can use immediately.

Because when your ex is trying to bait you, your best move is not to react — it’s to get strategic.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

how to respond to threatening emails during divorce
what to do when your ex sends an inflammatory text
how to stop emotional spiraling during divorce
why your nervous system reacts so strongly to conflict
the best way to pause before responding to your ex
how to tell if a message actually requires a response
when to call your divorce attorney and when not to
how to communicate strategically in a high-conflict divorce
why not every “urgent” message is truly urgent
how co-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard can reduce stress

Why Divorce Communication Feels So Triggering

When you’re going through a divorce, communication with your ex is rarely neutral.

Even a simple message can feel loaded. A text about travel, money, or the kids can instantly send your brain into panic mode — especially if the wording feels aggressive, manipulative, or threatening.

Andrea explains that this is often a nervous system response. Your body reacts as though you are under attack, even if the threat is emotional rather than physical.

That is why so many people:

fire off emotional responses
regret what they wrote later
feel hijacked by anxiety
spend hours spiraling over one message

This episode teaches listeners how to interrupt that pattern before it hurts their peace — or their case.

Acronym #1: STOP

The first tool Morgan and Andrea teach is STOP, a simple framework designed to help listeners stop the immediate emotional unraveling.

S — Stop

Literally stop.

Do not react.

Do not respond.

Do not keep ruminating.

Say the word out loud if you have to:

Stop.

T — Temperature

Change your temperature to help regulate your nervous system.

Andrea explains that cold temperature can help bring your system back online.

Examples include:

holding ice
putting ice on your wrists
drinking ice-cold water
using an ice roller on your face

O — Oxygen

Breathe.

When people are triggered, they often hold their breath, tense up, and make the spiral worse.

The key is to exhale first, then let yourself breathe back in.

P — Priority

Your priority is your mental wellbeing, not firing back at your ex.

Most messages do not require an immediate response.

This is where listeners are reminded to give themselves at least an hour before doing anything.

Why You Should Never Respond in the Same Emotional State

Morgan explains that when people respond too quickly, it is often obvious to attorneys, judges, and anyone reading the email that they got baited.

That matters.

Fast, emotional responses can:

escalate conflict
make you look reactive
strengthen the other person’s sense of control
potentially hurt your case

When someone knows they can trigger you instantly, they are more likely to keep doing it.

That’s why creating time between the message and the response is such an important strategy in divorce communication.

Acronym #2: THREAT

The second acronym in the episode helps listeners figure out whether a response is warranted at all — and if so, how to respond strategically.

T — Timing

Ask yourself:

Does this message actually need a response?
If it does, do I need to respond today?

The answer is often no.

H — Highlight the parts that actually matter

Pull out the parts of the message that involve:

your children
medical decisions
scheduling
extracurriculars
actual legal issues

Ignore the inflammatory filler.

R — Redline the BS

Morgan and Andrea encourage listeners to mentally cross out the emotional garbage.

Most threatening divorce emails are full of:

baiting
exaggeration
personal attacks
irrelevant accusations

Andrea says it best:

Most threatening emails are 80% emotional dribble-drabble garbage and only 20% actual legal issues.

E — Emotionless evaluation of the facts

Look at the message again without emotion and ask:

Is there any actual merit here?
Is anything true?
Is there something that genuinely needs attention?

A — Ask your attorney

If the issue has merit or is really weighing on you, this is where your attorney comes in.

Morgan reminds listeners that sometimes spending money on your lawyer is worth it for peace of mind and strategy.

T — Take the strategic route

Once you’ve gone through the steps above, you can decide whether:

you should respond
when you should respond
how you should respond

That is strategy.

Not reactivity.

High-Conflict Divorce Communication: Why Strategy Matters

This episode is especially helpful for people dealing with high-conflict divorce, difficult co-parenting communication, or an ex who weaponizes timing and urgency.

Morgan gives an example of a co-parent suddenly demanding an answer about international travel for the kids and insisting that tickets need to be booked immediately.

That kind of message can trigger panic fast.

But the point of the THREAT framework is to help listeners separate:

true urgency
parenting agreement language
legal issues
manipulative pressure

So they can make decisions from clarity instead of fear.

Our Family Wizard and How to Reduce Divorce Communication Stress

Morgan and Andrea also talk about Our Family Wizard, a co-parenting app that can help reduce stress by limiting when messages come through.

One feature they highlight is the ability to control what time of day you receive messages from your co-parent.

That can be incredibly helpful for people who know they are more emotionally vulnerable at certain times of day.

For anyone navigating co-parenting after divorce, using structured communication tools can help reduce conflict and protect mental health.

Why This Episode Matters

This episode does something so many divorce resources fail to do:

It doesn’t just tell people to “stay calm.”

It gives them actual tools to use in the exact moment they’re triggered.

And that matters because divorce is not just a legal process.

It is an emotional, physiological, and psychological stressor.

When someone knows how to:

regulate their nervous system
pause before reacting
identify what really matters
respond strategically

they are far less likely to make costly mistakes.

Key Takeaway

You do not have to respond to every message from your ex as though it is an emergency.

You do not have to unravel every time they try to bait you.

And you do not have to let their words control your peace, your parenting, or your case.

Use STOP to calm your system.

Use THREAT to evaluate the message.

And then choose the strategic route.

That is how you protect yourself during divorce.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Our Family Wizard
The Divorce Crash Course
New guides and resources on the How Not to Suck at Divorce website
The How Not to Suck at Divorce private community

About How Not to Suck at Divorce

How Not to Suck at Divorce is a divorce podcast hosted by family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport.

The show offers practical divorce advice, legal insight, co-parenting strategies, and real-life support for people navigating one of the hardest seasons of their lives.

If you are dealing with divorce, custody, communication conflict, or emotional overwhelm, this podcast is here to help you feel less alone — and more prepared.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

YouTube

Private Community

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

197. 5 Things You Should NEVER Do During a Divorce- And an Embarrasing Story- Mini Episode

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0500

Divorce is emotional. It's stressful. And if you're not careful, it can also become incredibly expensive.

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares five things you should absolutely never do during a divorce — from serious legal mistakes that can impact your case to a few embarrassing (but very real) moments she experienced during her own divorce.

Because when emotions are running high, it’s easy to make decisions that feel good in the moment but can create bigger problems later.

Whether you're navigating divorce right now or trying to prepare for what lies ahead, these practical tips will help you avoid common pitfalls and stay focused on what actually matters.

Why Divorce Mistakes Can Cost You More Than You Think

One of the hardest parts of divorce is that you’re making major legal and financial decisions while under extreme emotional stress.

During this episode, Andrea explains why some of the most common divorce mistakes happen when people:

react emotionally instead of strategically
rely on advice from the wrong sources
allow their ex to provoke them into conflict
bring outside people into the legal drama

Learning how to pause, reset, and respond thoughtfully can save you thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees — and a lot of unnecessary stress.

The 5 Divorce Mistakes You Should Never Make

1. Taking Legal Advice From Friends Who Got Divorced in Another State (or Another Decade)

Divorce laws vary dramatically depending on where you live and when the divorce occurs.

Andrea explains why taking advice from a friend who was divorced years ago — or in another state — can create unrealistic expectations and costly confusion.

For example:

Some states are more likely to award long-term alimony
Other states focus on short-term rehabilitative support
Property division laws vary significantly across jurisdictions

Relying on outdated or out-of-state advice can lead to misunderstandings and expensive conversations with your attorney.

2. Speaking in Court When No One Asked You To

Divorce court can be intimidating — especially in the age of virtual hearings.

Andrea shares a hilarious (and slightly humiliating) story about accidentally unmuting herself during a Zoom court hearing when the judge was actually addressing an attorney with the same last name.

Lesson learned:

Never unmute yourself in court unless the judge is speaking directly to you.

3. Responding to Threatening Emails Immediately

When you're in the middle of a divorce, aggressive emails or legal threats can trigger an emotional reaction.

But responding immediately is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.

Research shows it takes about 20 minutes for your nervous system to reset after a stressful event.

Andrea recommends waiting at least an hour before responding, and using that time to regulate your body with simple strategies like:

taking a walk
drinking ice-cold water
holding ice to your wrists
doing quick bursts of physical movement

Responding calmly and strategically is always better than reacting emotionally.

4. Bringing Your New Relationship Into the Divorce Drama

Dating during divorce happens more often than people admit.

But involving your new partner in the details of your divorce can create unnecessary complications.

Andrea explains why bringing your new love interest into legal conflicts can:

create loyalty conflicts
generate bad advice
escalate emotional tension

Instead, keep your dating life separate from the legal process whenever possible.

5. Believing the Negative Things Your Ex Says About You

Perhaps the most important advice in this episode:

Do not internalize the hurtful things your soon-to-be ex says about you during the divorce process.

In many cases, these comments are designed to weaken your confidence or gain leverage in negotiations.

Divorce is not the time to determine your self-worth.

Your job right now is simply to survive the process and move forward.

Healing and personal growth come later — after the legal storm has passed.

Divorce Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Divorce often feels like an emotional roller coaster.

Some days you’ll feel strong and hopeful.

Other days you’ll feel completely overwhelmed.

That’s normal.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone in this process.

The How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast exists to provide practical divorce advice, real-life experiences, and the support you need to navigate this difficult chapter with confidence.

Coming Up Next on the Podcast

In this week’s full episode, Andrea and Morgan introduce two powerful acronyms designed to help you:

respond to threats during divorce
manage aggressive communication
protect your case while staying calm

If you struggle with how to respond to your ex during divorce, you won’t want to miss it.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

196. Divorce Questions Answered: Alimony, Custody, Community Property, GALs. Avoid Major Mistakes.

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Real answers to the financial, parenting, and legal questions keeping you up at night.

If you’re going through a divorce, chances are you’ve asked yourself at least one of these questions:

Who keeps the house?

Do I have to pay alimony?

What happens if my ex won’t cooperate?

How does a GAL affect custody?

What counts as marital property after separation?

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan answer real divorce questions submitted by members of their private community. From community property and spousal support to 50/50 parenting schedules, marital settlement agreements, home sales, custody concerns, and separation, this episode covers the kinds of issues that keep people up at night during divorce.

This is an honest, practical, and empowering conversation designed to help you think more strategically, ask better questions, and make smarter decisions during the divorce process.

In this episode, we discuss:

What happens to business assets and property in divorce
Whether keeping finances separate during marriage really protects an asset
What to know about community property vs. separate property
How alimony, maintenance, or spousal support may be determined
Whether a salary increase can affect alimony
What to include in a divorce agreement if your ex may stop paying support
How to think about custody, 50/50 parenting schedules, and parenting plan logistics
What a GAL (guardian ad litem) does in a divorce or custody case
How to present concerns about the other parent without sounding reactive
Whether a spouse who moved out still has to help pay bills, utilities, or repairs
What happens when an ex refuses to cooperate with the sale of the marital home
Whether retirement assets can be used to buy out a spouse’s share of the house
Why having the right strategy with your attorney can save money and stress

Key takeaways from this divorce Q&A

Divorce is rarely just about one issue. It is often a mix of legal questions, emotional stress, parenting concerns, and financial uncertainty all happening at once.

In this episode, Morgan explains why it is so important to be proactive, not reactive during divorce. Whether you are dealing with custody, alimony, property division, a difficult ex, or a confusing settlement agreement, the more informed and prepared you are, the better decisions you can make.

Andrea also shares an important reminder for anyone deep in divorce stress: sometimes you do not need to blow up your life or make a dramatic change. Sometimes you just need a break, a reset, and a strategy.

If you’re struggling with divorce right now…

This episode is for you if you are:

feeling overwhelmed by the divorce process
worried about making the wrong financial decision
confused about custody or parenting issues
dealing with an uncooperative ex
unsure what questions to ask your lawyer
trying to figure out what is actually worth fighting for

Because divorce is not one-size-fits-all. And sometimes the biggest source of anxiety is simply not having enough information.

Mentioned in this episode

Our Family Wizard – a co-parenting communication app often respected by courts
The How Not to Suck at Divorce private community
The upcoming Divorce Crash Course, including guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your attorney

About How Not to Suck at Divorce

If you’re going through a divorce or thinking about divorce, this podcast is here to help you avoid major divorce mistakes and move through the process with more clarity, confidence, and support.

Hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest family law firm in the country, and Andrea Rappaport, comedian and marketing expert, How Not to Suck at Divorce combines legal insight, real-life perspective, and humor to help make divorce feel a little less overwhelming.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

195. Divorce Feels Impossible Right Now- But It Gets Better (A Real Story) Mini Episode

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Divorce can feel overwhelming, lonely, and emotionally devastating. In fact, during the process it can feel like your entire life has fallen apart — like there’s no way things will ever feel normal again.

But what if they do?

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan shares a real story about a client who struggled deeply during his divorce. At the time, he couldn’t imagine life without his marriage and could barely engage in the divorce process.

Fast forward a few years, and his life looks completely different.

This episode is a reminder that even when divorce feels impossible, there truly is light at the end of the tunnel.

If you’re in the middle of divorce, newly divorced, or feeling stuck in the emotional aftermath, this episode is for you.

What We Discuss in This Episode

Why divorce can feel emotionally debilitating
The intense fear, overwhelm, and uncertainty that come with ending a marriage
A real-life story of a client who struggled deeply during divorce
Why some people shut down during the divorce process
How life can change dramatically in the years after divorce
Why time truly is one of the most powerful healing tools
How small steps and mindset shifts help you move forward

The Truth About Divorce That People Don’t Talk About

During divorce, many people feel:

Paralyzed by fear
Overwhelmed by decisions
Emotionally exhausted
Unsure what life will look like next

It’s completely normal.

Divorce isn’t just legal paperwork or financial negotiations — it’s a major emotional and mental transition.

But as Morgan explains, even clients who struggle the most during divorce often look back years later and realize something powerful:

Life didn’t fall apart — it changed, and in many cases, it got better.

If You're Going Through Divorce Right Now

If you’re listening and thinking:

"That might happen for someone else, but not for me."

Take a breath.

The truth is that healing from divorce doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes it happens slowly — one hour, one day, one step at a time.

But you will not feel this way forever.

Remember

Even when divorce feels like the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through:

You are still standing.

You are still moving forward.

And you will get through this.

You’ve got this.

And we’ve got you.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

194. Divorce After an Affair: How to Protect Your Divorce Strategy When Betrayal Wrecks Your Brain

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

An affair can destroy your marriage — but it does not have to destroy your divorce strategy.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport tackle one of the most emotionally explosive divorce triggers: infidelity. Joined by therapist and Now What? podcast host Amy Neufeld, we break down what betrayal does to your nervous system, why your brain goes into survival mode, and how that can lead to expensive, irreversible divorce mistakes.

If you’re going through divorce after an affair, this conversation will help you understand what’s happening in your body and mind — and give you practical action steps so you can make smarter decisions around custody, finances, and communication.

In this episode, we cover:

Why an affair can’t destroy your divorce strategy unless you let emotions run the case
The “Chad and Brenda” story: how revenge spending and legal warfare can implode the marital estate
Why infidelity is often attachment trauma (and why it feels like physical pain)
What betrayal does to your brain: hypervigilance, panic, shutdown, and intrusive images
The 3 common responses to betrayal: attack, despair, or detachment
Why anger can feel productive — but still cloud judgment during divorce negotiations
The unpopular truth: divorce lawyers can fire clients, especially when trauma turns into sabotage
How to stop using the legal system for emotional relief (and why courts can’t “make it right”)
Amy’s practical “Now What?” tools to stabilize after betrayal:
Routine to rebuild predictability
Contain the pain so it doesn’t take over your entire day
Separate facts from your story to calm your nervous system and make clearer decisions
Why “the story” can create collateral damage (friends, family, custody dynamics)
Co-parenting boundaries: why tools like OurFamilyWizard can help reduce conflict and document patterns
The mic-drop takeaway: An affair is an event. The story you build around it can shape the next decade of your life.

If you’re in the middle of divorce after cheating…

This episode is for you if you’re:

Struggling to eat, sleep, or think straight
Feeling consumed by intrusive thoughts or mental images
Torn between revenge and “doing the right thing”
Afraid you’ll make a decision you’ll regret financially or with custody
Trying to co-parent while you’re still emotionally flooded

Action Steps from this episode

Build one predictable routine you can repeat daily
Create a daily window to contain the pain (even 5 minutes counts)
Write down what’s fact vs story so your brain stops spiraling
Avoid processing betrayal in court — process it with a qualified trauma-trained therapist
Use structured communication to protect yourself during co-parenting

Guest: Amy Neufeld — Therapist, Founder of Intentional Action Therapy, Host of Now What?

Website: amyneufeldtherapy.com

Podcast: Now What? https://pod.link/1881151960

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

193. When I Knew It Was Time to Leave My Marriage: Personal Divorce Story- Mini Episode

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0500

How do you know when it’s truly time to leave your marriage?

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares the deeply personal story of how she knew her marriage was over — and the warning signs she ignored long before she finally said the words, “I want a divorce.”

Andrea talks openly about the quiet red flags that started as whispers, the gut feelings she tried to ignore, and the emotional toll of staying in a relationship that wasn’t healthy or sustainable. If you’re questioning your marriage, feeling lonely in your relationship, or wondering if divorce might be the right next step, this episode offers an honest and compassionate perspective.

Sometimes the hardest part of divorce isn’t the legal process — it’s acknowledging what your heart has already been trying to tell you.

This episode is about learning to listen to those whispers before they become screams.

In This Episode

Andrea shares:

The early red flags she ignored while dating
Why unhealthy relationships can feel familiar and “normal”
The emotional experience of living in a marriage that doesn’t feel right
What it feels like to avoid going home because the relationship feels so lonely
Why many people stay in marriages long after they know something is wrong
The moment Andrea finally said “I want a divorce”
Why gathering information about divorce can help you feel more empowered
The importance of having a safe place to talk about what you're going through

If You’re Wondering Whether It’s Time to Leave Your Marriage

If you're asking yourself questions like:

Is my marriage over?
Why do I feel so lonely in my relationship?
How do I know when it's time to get divorced?
What does it feel like when a marriage isn't working anymore?

You are not alone. Many people experience the same doubts, fears, and emotional confusion before deciding to leave a marriage.

This episode offers a reminder that listening to your instincts and seeking support can help you navigate one of the hardest decisions of your life.

Resources Mentioned

If you're thinking about divorce, these steps can help you start gathering information and support:

Speak with a therapist or trusted professional
Talk to a divorce attorney to understand your options
Connect with a supportive community of people going through similar experiences
Continue learning about the divorce process so you can make informed decisions

About the Podcast

How Not to Suck at Divorce is hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at one of the largest family law firms in the country, and comedian Andrea Rappaport.

Each episode helps people navigate divorce with expert guidance, honest conversations, and practical advice so you can avoid the biggest divorce mistakes.

Divorce may be overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone.

Final Reminder

Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint.

Some days you need information.

Other days you just need to feel seen and heard.

And if you're listening to this episode and questioning your marriage, know this:

You deserve happiness.

And remember:

You've got this… and we've got you.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

192. 5 People Who Suck at Divorce More Than You- Mini Episode

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0500

If you think you’re messing up your divorce… relax.

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport bring you a much-needed mental break with five outrageous, real-life divorce stories that prove one thing:

No matter how chaotic your situation feels… someone is doing it worse.

From a $15,000 bedazzled Buddha that cost double to fight over in court, to a couple who spent $100,000 litigating an ashtray (yes, really), to a husband who tried to avoid divorce by claiming he was technically a zombie — this episode highlights the wildest ways people derail their own divorce cases.

Because here’s the truth: divorce is emotional, but court is not.

And when pettiness, revenge, or ego drive decisions, the only real winner is the attorney bill.

In This Episode, We Cover:

Why fighting over sentimental items can cost more than they’re worth
The $100,000 ashtray case (and why judges lose patience)
The legal consequences of “in-game crime” during divorce
The Beyoncé “To the Left” security system revenge moment
The infamous “zombie defense” divorce case
Why judges see more chaos than you realize
How not to let ego drive your legal strategy

While this mini episode brings humor, the underlying message is serious:

✔️ Petty fights cost real money

✔️ Emotional reactions extend litigation

✔️ Judges have seen everything — including wackadoo defenses

✔️ Revenge may feel good, but it rarely plays well in court

✔️ Strategy > spectacle

Divorce can feel overwhelming, nauseating, and heavy. Sometimes you need a break — and sometimes you need perspective.

If you’re doggy-paddling through your divorce, consider this your reminder:

You are not alone.

You are not the most chaotic case in the courthouse.

And you can absolutely get through this.

Resources Mentioned

Join our free, confidential divorce community
Check out the updated Divorce Crash Course
Explore our downloadable divorce guidebooks

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

191. Divorcing an Alcoholic: Trauma Bonds, Fear, and Self-Preservation

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Living with alcoholism can make you question everything—your judgment, your boundaries, even your reality. If you’re thinking about divorcing an alcoholic (or you’re not ready to leave yet, but you know something has to change), this episode is for you.

Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport sit down with Jeff Wright, an insurance brokerage founder and mentor who has helped countless people navigate toxic, alcohol-fueled relationships—shaped by his own childhood experience with an abusive alcoholic parent.

Together, they unpack why leaving an alcoholic spouse can feel impossible (even when the situation is clearly unsafe), how trauma bonds keep people stuck, and what “self-preservation” really looks like when you’re trying to protect your children and your sanity.

You’ll also learn the practical steps to take before you file: who to talk to (and who not to), how to make a plan quietly, how to build confidence when you feel shattered, and what legal tools can help keep kids safe—including monitoring options like Soberlink, testing, and supervised parenting time.

If you’ve been surviving in chaos, consider this your permission slip to stop normalizing it—and start building a path out.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Why living with an alcoholic partner can distort your reality and decision-making
The real reasons people stay (hint: it’s often not money)
What a trauma bond is and why “they hurt you, then hug you” feels like love
How alcoholism impacts the drinker’s brain—and why denial can be extreme
How to assess your home environment: stress signals, kids’ behavior, and “waiting for them to come home” tension
What self-preservation actually means: privacy, planning, and choosing the right support
Why your divorce attorney is not your therapist—and why you need both
Concrete action steps: quiet planning, go-bag/documents, separate accounts, and rebuilding confidence
Legal tools that can support safety for kids (monitoring/testing options and structured parenting arrangements)

Episode Highlights / Timestamps

00:00 The reality: alcoholism can make you question your judgment and reality
00:57 Sponsor: OurFamilyWizard + discount code
02:11 Who this episode is for (especially if you haven’t left yet)
03:07 Meet Jeff Wright and why this is his mission
06:07 Jeff’s childhood with an abusive alcoholic father (and lasting impact)
08:17 Morgan explains why this becomes “normal” when you’re living it
10:29 Why people don’t leave: kids, fear, finances, and responsibility
12:25 The real trap: limiting beliefs and fear of what others think
13:33 Trauma bonds explained in plain language
15:33 Proving alcohol abuse legally + testing options
18:04 Emotional detachment vs. physical leaving (why it’s the mind that keeps you stuck)
20:15 A powerful self-check: what happens when the drinker isn’t home?
22:07 Self-preservation #1: don’t tell the wrong people (privacy matters)
26:03 Legal tools for safety: Soberlink, testing, supervision
29:38 Unpopular truth: your attorney is not your therapist
33:34 Jeff’s 3 action steps: plan quietly, keep promises to yourself, build confidence
39:55 “Your gut has never lied to you.”
41:10 Changing your role in the story—and protecting what your kids learn as “normal”

Action Steps (Quick Takeaways)

Make a plan quietly. Brick by brick—documents, accounts, go-bag, and a safe place to land.
Talk to the right people only. Professionals bound by confidentiality (attorney/therapist), not the rumor mill.
Build confidence with tiny wins. Keep promises to yourself—your nervous system needs proof you can trust you.
Get the right team. Divorce strategy = attorney. Emotional survival = therapist.
Pay attention to the whisper. The red flags don’t get quieter—they escalate.

Get Jeff's ebook here: https://flinchnomore.com/

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

190. The 8 Best-Kept Secrets to Avoid Expensive Divorce Mistakes

Fri, 13 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Think emailing your divorce lawyer is the “cheapest” way to communicate? Think again.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan (yes, Morgan is solo because Andrea has the flu 😷) breaks down one of the most expensive mistakes people make during divorce: sending emotional, scattered emails instead of getting real strategy.

We’re talking about when to email, when to call, when a face-to-face meeting is worth every penny, and how to show up prepared so you’re not paying for chaos. Plus: switching attorneys (when it’s time and when it’s not), pre-divorce “move smarter” tips, how to protect evidence, what to know about non-marital assets, beneficiary red flags, and why tax implications can become negotiation leverage.

Bottom line: you need a plan—and you don’t get one by spiraling in your inbox.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Why a phone call or face-to-face attorney meeting can be more cost-effective than emails
How to stop reacting to your ex’s “urgent” messages and start operating with divorce strategy
The best way to prep for billable time: bullet points, goals, and an objective
When it makes sense to consult another attorney (without immediately switching)
What “collect evidence” actually means—and where to store it safely
Why you should document what you entered the marriage with (non-marital assets)
The red flag nobody thinks about: beneficiary changes during divorce
How divorce-related tax implications can become powerful negotiation points

Episode Highlights (Key Moments)

00:00 Why face-to-face meetings can be more valuable (and cost-effective) than email
01:15 Sponsor: OurFamilyWizard (co-parenting app / discount code)
01:45 Morgan explains why Andrea is out + why this episode is a must-listen rerun
03:48 The “nine emotional emails” problem—and what to do instead
06:47 Secret #1: You don’t have to respond to everything on your ex’s timeline
08:38 How to call your attorney with bullet points (and an objective)
09:37 When a phone call isn’t enough and you need face-to-face strategy
12:34 Secret #2: Move your body before you make decisions
15:02 Secret #3: You can switch attorneys (but don’t do it while activated)
20:38 Secret #4: Large purchases pre-filing (why timing matters)
22:21 Secret #5: Collect evidence BEFORE it disappears
25:44 Secret #6: Know what you came into the marriage with
27:15 Secret #7: Watch for beneficiary changes
28:35 Secret #8: Tax implications can be negotiation leverage
40:09 Final takeaway: Divorce is a marathon—action steps matter

The 8 Best-Kept Secrets (Recap)

You don’t have to respond immediately just because your ex demands it.
Take a walk / move your body before making decisions.
Phone calls or face-to-face meetings beat emotional emails (and can cost less).
Consider timing for major purchases if divorce is imminent.
Collect and store evidence safely (new email, new cloud, non-shared accounts).
Document what you entered the marriage with (non-marital assets).
Watch for beneficiary changes on insurance/retirement accounts.
Understand tax implications—they can become negotiation points.

Call to Action

Need more support? Join our free community, grab our guides, and get the tools you need to make better decisions during divorce.

And remember: You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

189. When Your Divorcing Spouse Is Still Trying to Control You ( It’s Hurting Your Case)

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0500

If your ex is still controlling you and you keep reacting, explaining, or trying to keep the peace… you might be actively hurting your legal case without even realizing it.

Because here’s the thing: divorce doesn’t cure controlling behavior—it often exposes it. And control doesn’t always look loud. Sometimes it looks “polite.” Sometimes it looks like silence. Sometimes it looks like a thousand tiny moments that make your stomach drop.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport break down what control looks like after separation, why it escalates, and the legal + emotional action steps to shut it down.

And yes—there’s also a story involving a tambourine, a fire-lit “happiness class,” and a man casually threatening everyone with a tombstone. (Welcome to the show.)

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

✅ How control shows up during divorce (even when it’s not obvious)

Morgan explains that control can look like:

Financial control: “I’ll pay when I feel like it,” monitoring spending, moving goalposts
Micromanaging parenting and second-guessing everything you do
Weaponized silence / delayed responses to make you spiral
Making you feel like you need permission for decisions you don’t need permission for
“Polite” manipulation disguised as “concern for the kids”

Why control often escalates after separation

Andrea explains the psychology: when someone loses access and power, they often pull harder—because control is how they regulate their discomfort.

The dangerous legal issue most people miss: “splitting”

Morgan explains how controlling behavior can drive a wedge between you and your attorney—making you doubt your lawyer, hold back details, or get pulled into the ex’s narrative.

That’s not just stressful. It can derail your strategy and cost you serious money.

The communication trap that keeps you stuck

If your nervous system is hijacked every time they text you, you’ll default to the old pattern:

Reacting
Over-explaining
Trying to smooth things over
Trying to get them to “understand”

Which gives them exactly what they want: access.

The Tools That Help You Stop the Control

1) Tighten the structure (legally + logistically)

Morgan explains why vague agreements don’t work with controlling people.

Example of vague: “reasonable communication.”

Problem: “reasonable” becomes a playground for manipulation.

2) Reduce access

Because (say it with us): control fades when access fades.

That may mean:

limiting communication
using a parenting app
not responding to bait
pushing communication through proper channels

3) Stop JADE-ing

Andrea shares the acronym JADE:

Justifying
Arguing
Defending
Explaining

More words = more oxygen = more control.

4) Use BIF responses

Morgan shares BIF (from Bill Eddy):

Brief
Informative
Firm
Friendly

The goal is to respond in a way that doesn’t invite more conflict—and doesn’t make you look unhinged if things end up in court.

5) Use OurFamilyWizard (especially for parenting conflict)

Morgan explains why a co-parenting app helps:

reduces access
creates records
prevents chaos
provides structure and timelines

Episode Takeaways (Your “Do This Now” List)

If your stomach drops when they text you, do this:

Tell your attorney what’s happening (don’t be embarrassed—this is common)
Ask your lawyer how to tighten the structure with clearer court orders
Reduce access and stop responding to bait
Use JADE + BIF for cleaner communication
If parenting is involved, get on OurFamilyWizard and stop trying to “co-parent” when you need to parallel parent

Resources Mentioned

OurFamilyWizard (court-respected co-parenting communication app)
BIF communication method by Bill Eddy
Our $20 communication guide (how to respond without feeding the chaos)
Our free private community for support + questions

About the Podcast

How Not to Suck at Divorce is hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest family law firm in the country, and comedian/marketing expert Andrea Rappaport. We help you avoid major divorce mistakes with expert guidance—plus the humor and levity you need to survive it.

On your worst days, you’ve got this… and we’ve got you.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

188. Top Divorce Regrets (and What to Do Instead)

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Rushing a divorce can cost you money, leverage, and peace—especially if you’re dating, listening to family “advice,” or skipping the right experts. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down the most common divorce regrets and the smart, strategic moves to avoid them.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea unpack the most common divorce regrets they see over and over again: the ones that quietly cost you money, complicate custody, drag out the process, and make you look back thinking… why did I do that?

Get real divorce advice your lawyer may be too polite to share. We break down unpopular divorce opinions and practical divorce tips that can save you thousands of dollars in legal fees, reduce stress, and help you avoid costly mistakes. How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support

From rushing because you’ve moved on romantically, to letting your dad become your “legal strategist,” to skipping experts like OurFamilyWizard because you’re trying to save money—this is your highlight reel of what not to do (and what to do instead).

And yes… Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie make an appearance. Because apparently six marriages is one way to earn a PhD in divorce.

In this episode, we cover:

The #1 regret: rushing your divorce and leaving money on the table
Why “I want to be divorced by March” can backfire fast
How outdated financials and an old balance sheet can cost you thousands
Why your new partner should not be part of the divorce “mischigas”
The danger of letting family and friends influence legal decisions
How well-meaning parents can accidentally run up your legal bill
When outside experts (forensic accountants, co-parenting tools, therapists) actually save you money
Why trying to “cheap out” can lead to a future court nightmare
The difference between fighting for what matters vs. fighting over balsamic vinegar
How to decide what’s worth it (and what’s just ego, fear, or control)

Key Takeaways (Quick & Skimmable)

1) Don’t rush the process and leave money on the table

When you’re desperate to be done, you cut corners. That’s how people sign agreements with missing details, outdated account values, or unclear parenting language—then regret it later.

Do this instead: Ask your attorney if your timeline is realistic, and if it is—map the steps from A to Z.

2) Don’t bring your new relationship into your divorce chaos

Your new person may mean well, but they are not your lawyer—and emotionally, it can start poisoning the relationship fast.

Do this instead: Process the divorce with your therapist, your support system, and your attorney—not your new partner.

3) Don’t let non-lawyers steer legal decisions

Even smart, loving parents can unintentionally derail the strategy—especially when they aren’t in the day-to-day “trenches” of your case.

Do this instead: If a family member must join a call, keep it controlled: you’re present, they stay muted, and they ask questions at the end.

4) Don’t skip tools and experts just to “save money”

Skipping the right expert can create a bigger bill later—especially in co-parenting disputes, business valuations, and post-decree enforcement.

Do this instead: If your attorney recommends something like OurFamilyWizard or a valuation expert, ask why—and seriously consider it.

5) Don’t drag out your divorce fighting over small stuff

There’s a difference between protecting what matters and spending thousands to win a couch, condiment collection, or “principle.”

Do this instead: Ask your attorney: Is this worth the cost to fight over?

Action Steps (What to do today)

Write down your goals: “What do I NEED vs. what do I WANT?”
Ask your lawyer directly: “Am I rushing—and what could that cost me?”
Update your financials before signing anything (especially account balances).
Keep your support team clean: attorney + therapist + trusted friend (not your new partner).
Stop paying legal fees for emotional processing—save that for therapy.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

187. Divorce Help. When the Other Side Won’t Respond: Motions to Compel, Subpoenas, and Strategy

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0500

When your divorce is dragging because the other side won’t respond, it can feel like psychological warfare—especially when kids and money are on the line. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down what’s actually happening when a divorce case stalls, how to tell the difference between normal delays and strategic stalling, and what to do next.

You’ll learn the practical legal steps attorneys use to create structure—like mediation deadlines, motions to compel, subpoenas, depositions, and discovery strategies—plus the mindset shifts that keep you from spiraling and spending thousands of dollars reacting emotionally. Bottom line: when the time is right, get aggressive—because talk is cheap.

Stalling is one of the most common (and most infuriating) divorce experiences, and it happens for a few big reasons:

They don’t have their shit together (missing documents, incomplete financials, no affidavit, disorganized life)
They think you’ll panic and settle cheap just to end the pain
It’s a power play (silence = control, especially with high-conflict people)
Their attorney is overwhelmed, under-resourced, or occasionally strategic (timing money events like bonuses, etc.)

The good news: stalling isn’t a dead end. It’s a problem that can be solved with structure, strategy, and sometimes court pressure.

The First Question to Ask Your Lawyer

Before you go scorched earth, ask this exact question:

“Is this delay normal… or is this strategic stalling?”

Morgan explains that a good attorney can often tell you:

whether the other lawyer is just chronically slow/unorganized, or
whether the other side is intentionally dragging things out to wear you down.

These two scenarios require totally different responses.

What Judges Respond To: Structure + Deadlines

Stalled cases usually move when there’s something real on the calendar:

court dates
motion hearings
trial dates
mediations with firm deadlines

Morgan’s most practical advice:

If nothing is moving, push for a trial date. Even if the first date doesn’t “stick,” a real end date creates pressure—and pressure creates movement.

Action Steps: What You Can Do When the Other Side Won’t Respond

1) Stop guessing. Get clarity.

Tell your attorney you’re frustrated and ask:

Is this normal?
What’s the standard timeline in this jurisdiction?
What steps do we take in order if they don’t comply?
At what point do we file something?

This helps you avoid spending money “going aggressive” too early… only for the judge to give them another two weeks anyway.

2) Use mediation for structure (when appropriate)

If both parties will participate, mediation can impose deadlines and create structure outside the court’s slow pacing.

But if the other side is truly non-cooperative, Morgan’s blunt truth is:

“The only road it all leads to is the courthouse.”

3) File the motion when it matters

When someone repeatedly ignores deadlines, attorneys can file motions that force compliance (example: motion to compel for missing financials or discovery).

Morgan’s mantra:

“When the time is right, get aggressive. File that motion. Put your money where your mouth is—because talk is cheap.”

4) Use discovery to shake them awake

Depending on your state/country, your attorney may be able to use tools like:

Subpoenas (banks, employers, third parties)
Requests to admit (miss the deadline → deemed admitted in some places)
Depositions (sometimes the notice alone changes behavior)
Other discovery strategies tailored to what the other side is hiding/protecting

Key idea: if they think non-response prevents you from finding things, they’re wrong. You have legal tools.

The Mindset Shift That Saves You Thousands

Andrea nails why stalling feels so brutal: silence makes our brain fill in the worst story.

But spiraling leads to:

emotional प्रतिक्रtions
late-night lawyer texts
expensive back-and-forth
more stress (and less strategy)

Their advice:

treat it like an office problem: warnings → structure → consequences
don’t “manage” your ex—you can’t
focus on what you control: your strategy + your next move

Unpopular (but important) truth: Sometimes it’s your lawyer.

Andrea and Morgan both acknowledge that sometimes the delay is happening because your attorney isn’t assertive enough.

What to do:

Tell your lawyer clearly what you expect and ask for a plan
If it doesn’t improve, consider switching attorneys or adding support from someone else at the firm

You’re allowed to advocate for yourself.

Key Takeaways

Find out if the delay is normal vs. strategic
Structure moves stalled cases: deadlines, hearings, trial dates
Aggression works only when timed correctly
Discovery tools can force the truth out (even when they stall)
Don’t let silence bait you into expensive emotional reactions
Sometimes the fix is a better plan—or a stronger attorney

What can I do if my spouse won’t respond in a divorce?

Talk to your attorney about whether it’s normal delay or stalling. If it’s repeated, attorneys can use mediation deadlines, motions to compel, subpoenas, and setting court/trial dates to force progress.

When should I file a motion in divorce?

Not every delay requires court action. But repeated missed deadlines and noncompliance often require filing a motion—because court pressure creates structure.

Can a divorce be delayed on purpose?

Yes. Some people stall as a strategy to wear you down emotionally or financially, or to maintain control.

What’s the best way to stop stalling tactics?

Structure. Deadlines. And if necessary, court dates and motions.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Find our playlists here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast

Rate our podcast 5 stars here: www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

186. Divorcing a “Narcissist”? What to Avoid So You Don’t Hurt Your Case

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0500

If you’re saying “my ex is a narcissist”… listen first.

If you’ve spent more than five minutes on TikTok, Reddit, or Instagram, you’ve seen it everywhere: “My co-parent is a narcissist.” And we get why that label feels validating. It gives your pain a name.

But here’s the problem: labels don’t carry weight in court — behavior does. And when you lead with a diagnosis you can’t prove, you risk looking reactive, emotional, or unreliable in the one place where credibility matters most.

In this episode, we’re joined by two powerhouse custody attorneys — Kristen Holstrom and Samantha McBride (the Custody Queens) — to explain what actually helps you win: specific facts, consistent documentation, strong boundaries, and a strategy that keeps you from getting pulled into emotional warfare.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Why calling your ex a narcissist can backfire legally and emotionally
The difference between traits vs. a true clinical diagnosis (and why it rarely shows up in court)
What judges care about most in custody cases: co-parenting and facilitating the other parent’s relationship
How to build a case using patterns, timelines, and evidence
Why social media is forever (even if you delete it)
How co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard can protect you and create documentation
“Chess, not checkers”: how to stop reacting and start controlling your side of the street
Why custody evaluations can go sideways when you show up with labels instead of facts

Key Takeaways (AKA: The stuff that saves you money and sanity)

1) Labels feel good. Evidence wins cases.

Courts don’t decide custody based on “he’s a narcissist.” They decide based on what happened, how often, and how it impacts the children.

2) Your credibility is everything.

If you sound like you’re diagnosing your ex, you may unintentionally look like the unstable one — especially in high-stakes settings like custody evaluations.

3) Social media can cost you custody time and settlement leverage.

Posting, reposting, liking, or commenting on “narcissist” content can be used against you. Even deleted posts can come back via screenshots.

4) Boundaries are strategy — not weakness.

Tools like OurFamilyWizard don’t mean you failed. They mean you’re building guardrails and a paper trail.

5) Power is preparation.

When you’re organized, strategic, and documenting the right things, you get your power back.

Action Steps (Do this after you finish the episode)

Drop the label. Keep the facts.
Replace “He’s a narcissist” with: “He missed 7 pickups in 30 days.”
Build a timeline.
Dates, times, missed exchanges, late pickups, medical info withheld, school info excluded.
Get specific court orders.
Vague orders create chaos. Specificity creates enforcement.
Use a co-parenting app (OurFamilyWizard or similar).
Keep communication child-focused and court-friendly.
Stop feeding the fire on social media.
No posting. No subtweeting. No “oops I deleted it.” None.
Clean your side of the street.
Judges watch who facilitates co-parenting — even with a difficult person.

Timestamps (Key Moments)

00:00 — “If you’re calling your ex a narcissist… that might hurt you.”
01:03 — Meet the guests: Kristen Holstrom & Samantha McBride (“Custody Queens”)
02:17 — “Labels don’t carry weight; behavior does.”
03:12 — Why “narcissist” and “parental alienation” can reduce credibility
06:37 — What judges care about most in custody cases
07:52 — “How many times have I seen a formal diagnosis? Zero.”
09:45 — Why the “narcissist” label can be a compliment (and a distraction)
10:02 — Why your therapist shouldn’t diagnose your ex
12:29 — Social media: what happens when it gets used in court
16:07 — Andrea’s confession: when your own texts become the problem
18:14 — Likes and shares can derail settlement
19:46 — “Party favors” story + chain-of-texts problem
22:26 — You’re divorcing them… but you’re still co-parenting
26:45 — Custody evaluations: how labels can flip the spotlight onto you
29:07 — The right way to present problems: evidence, examples, documentation
35:32 — OurFamilyWizard: why it protects BOTH parents
37:21 — “Legal strategy replaces emotional storytelling.”
39:14 — “Power is preparation.”
40:04 — Rapid-fire recap: the one thing each guest wants you to remember
48:05 — Final takeaway: courts respond to facts, not labels
50:18 — You’re going to be okay — minute by minute if needed

About Our Guests: The Custody Queens

Kristen A. Holstrom, CFLS and Samantha McBride, CFLS are managing partners of Custody Queens, focused on high-conflict, complex custody cases. They also host podcasts Custody Queens On Air and CQ Off the Clock, and share custody and co-parenting education across social platforms. https://custodyqueens.com/

Follow them:

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

185. The Emotional Rollercoaster of Divorce: How to Stop Letting Feelings Drive Your Decisions

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0500

One minute you feel strong, clear-headed, and relieved… and the next you’re sobbing in your car wondering if you just destroyed your life. If you feel emotionally unrecognizable during divorce, you are not alone—and you’re not “doing it wrong.”

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian/marketing guru Andrea Rappaport break down the emotional rollercoaster of divorce—why it happens, why it’s normal, and how letting emotions drive decisions can create legal and financial consequences you can’t unwind.

You’ll learn how to adopt emotional neutrality (without becoming emotionless), why realistic expectations protect your sanity, and the exact do’s and don’ts that help you stay grounded—especially when kids and co-parenting are involved.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Why divorce triggers “emotional whiplash” (relief, guilt, rage, panic, regret—sometimes all at once)
The difference between feelings vs. facts in divorce decision-making
Why emotional highs aren’t the problem—expectations are
Why emotional lows don’t mean you’re making the wrong choice
What “emotional neutrality” actually means (and why it’s self-preservation)
How to ask your attorney for realistic expectations and a Plan B
The biggest mistakes people make when they’re activated (and how to avoid them)
Practical ways to regulate your nervous system and get off the rollercoaster

(Practical Action Steps)

If you’re in the early stages of divorce—or you’re already activated—here’s what Andrea and Morgan want you to do:

✅ 1) Adopt emotional neutrality

“That meeting went well. Okay.”
“That meeting didn’t go well. Okay.”
Neutrality is not numbness. It means your feelings are not in charge.

✅ 2) Ask for realistic expectations (every time)

When something goes well, ask your attorney:

“What’s a realistic expectation from here?”
“What if this strategy doesn’t work—what’s our Plan B?”

✅ 3) Don’t make permanent decisions in temporary emotional states

Morgan’s legal rule: if you’re activated, you pause—not react.

✅ 4) Stabilize with routine

Predictable routines regulate your nervous system when your life feels unpredictable.

✅ 5) Write it down—don’t react

Journal the emotion, then bring it to your therapist (not your attorney). Your attorney is your legal guide—not your emotional support system.

✅ 6) Choose ONE safe person

Avoid oversharing with people who escalate you (you know who you are, “Tina from the bar” 😅).

✅ 7) Use tools that reduce conflict

Consider structured communication support through a court-respected co-parenting app like OurFamilyWizard.

What Not to Do (This Can Hurt Your Case)

Don’t threaten your spouse (ever)
Don’t overshare with people who escalate you
Don’t send your attorney a midnight novel (it’s expensive and rarely helps your case)
Don’t treat one good meeting/email like it means the whole divorce will be easy
Don’t catastrophize one bad development into “I ruined my life”

Mentioned in This Episode

OurFamilyWizard (co-parenting communication app)
Save 20%: ourfamilywizard.com/not suck 20 (as stated in the episode)

Quote-Worthy Moments

“Divorce doesn’t bring one emotion. It brings all of them.”
“The high isn’t the problem—expectations are.”
“Emotional neutrality is self-preservation.”
“The law operates on facts, not your feelings.”
“The goal isn’t to stop your emotions—it’s to stop letting your emotions drive decisions.”

Who This Episode Is For

This episode is for you if:

You’re newly separated or just starting the divorce process
You feel emotionally unrecognizable (high highs + low lows)
You’re scared you’re making the wrong decision because you feel unstable
You want practical tools to stay calm and protect your case
You’re co-parenting or worried about how divorce impacts your kids

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes and does not provide legal advice. Always consult a licensed attorney in your jurisdiction regarding your specific situation.

Find our playlists here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast

Rate our podcast 5 stars here: www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

184. What to Do Before You File for Divorce: A Pre-Divorce Checklist to Get Organized and Avoid Costly Mistakes

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0500

If you haven’t filed for divorce yet but you’re spiraling, crying, rage-texting, and panic Googling how to leave your spouse...this episode is your pre-divorce game plan.

Andrea walks you through the “invisible work” that protects you before you file: creating a private email, organizing finances, understanding monthly expenses, regulating emotions, interviewing attorneys strategically, protecting kids from adult stress, and avoiding common mistakes that can cost you money (and peace).

This is not about being sneaky—it’s about being smart.

Key Topics Covered

What to do before you file for divorce
How to create a private email and start organizing information safely
The pre-divorce financial lists you need (accounts, debts, passwords, credit score)
Why tracking monthly expenses now saves you later (hello, financial affidavits)
How to stay emotionally neutral and avoid the “high-high / low-low” spiral
How to interview attorneys and choose the right “business partner”
What NOT to do before filing (spending changes, threats, escalating conflict)
How to protect your kids (routines, boundaries, therapy support)
Bonus: writing down your “why” and what you want on the other side

Practical Pre-Divorce Action Steps (Checklist)

Do these before you file:

Create a new private email address (separate from anything your spouse can access).
Start a Google Doc/Sheet to track:
All known accounts (banking, retirement, investments, credit cards, loans)
Unknowns you need to identify (accounts you suspect exist, balances you don’t know)
Passwords/access issues
Pull your credit score and document it.
List all monthly expenses (mortgage/rent, utilities, insurance, subscriptions, kids’ expenses, activities, childcare).
Interview at least 3 attorneys before hiring—choose strategy, not vibes.
Keep household routines stable (especially if you have kids).
Don’t threaten, don’t escalate, and don’t make sudden spending changes.
Get a hobby/outlet (something healthy + consistent).
Consider lining up a therapist for your kids if you expect the process to hit them hard.
Write down your why: what you want, what you’re not getting, and your vision for the future.

Notable Quotes

“This is not being sneaky—this is being smart.”
“Divorce is a business. Marriage is a business. Being in love is not.”
“Don’t be like me. I left a lot of f*cking money on the table.”
“You’re not hiring a best friend. You’re hiring a business partner.”

Who This Episode Is For

Anyone thinking about divorce but not ready to file
Anyone feeling overwhelmed, panicked, or emotionally activated
Anyone worried about money, kids, or choosing the right attorney
Anyone who wants a practical, step-by-step pre-divorce plan

Disclaimer

This podcast episode is for informational and educational purposes only and does not provide legal advice. Always consult an attorney in your jurisdiction for guidance on your specific situation.

Find our playlists here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast

Rate our podcast 5 stars here: www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Join our private community on Facebook right here

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

183. When the Kids Aren't With You For Christmas (Divorce Support)

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0500

Support and survival tools for one of the hardest days of divorce.

“When the house is quiet, the feelings are loud.” If you’re facing Christmas (or any holiday) without your kids, this episode is your survival guide.

Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill talk about one of the most painful parts of divorce: the first (or early) holidays when your children are with the other parent. The anxiety can start days in advance, and the empty-house silence can feel unbearable — but Morgan reminds listeners that this is usually a moment in time, not a sign that you made the wrong decision about divorce.

You’ll hear real, practical tools for getting through the day hour-by-hour (doggy paddling counts), what not to do when you’re spiraling, and why “effective support” matters. You’ll also get tips for keeping conversations with your kids positive, avoiding emotional landmines, and making a plan that helps you survive the holiday — without shame, stalking your ex, or numbing yourself into oblivion.

In This Episode, We Cover

Why holidays without your kids after divorce can feel like a crisis moment
How to tell the difference between grief and a “divorce decision”
Why “two truths can coexist” (you can be doing the right thing and it can hurt)
The best coping strategies for surviving Christmas without your children
What not to do: social media spirals, isolating, stalking your ex, emotional decisions
Why moving your body helps your mind calm down (“an exhausted body is a calm mind”)
How to use community support (even anonymously) when you feel alone
How to talk to your kids without making them feel responsible for your emotions
Co-parenting communication tools (and why OurFamilyWizard helps when rules aren’t followed)
Morgan’s “Chad” story: how making a plan helped a parent survive the first Christmas alone
Why leaving the house is the #1 non-negotiable tool (even a drive-through counts)

Key Takeaways

1) This is normal — it doesn’t mean you’re weak

Andrea says it best: no amount of self-care candles fixes the fact that your kids aren’t here. Missing your children doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re hurting.

2) Don’t make big decisions in a holiday spiral

Morgan sees clients question everything during the holidays — but she rarely sees people truly halt divorce because of it. These feelings are real, but they’re usually temporary.

3) Doggy paddling is still progress

You don’t have to “thrive” today. You just have to get through it. Hour-by-hour is allowed.

Holiday Survival Plan (From the Episode)

Here’s your breakdown, straight from Morgan + Andrea:

✅ 1. Move your body (or at least get moving)

Walk outside if you can
If it’s cold: use a short YouTube workout video
If you hate workouts: get in your car and go somewhere (Target counts)

✅ 2. Get support — and help someone else

Join the private community (anonymous if needed)
Post what you’re doing to lift your spirits
Ask for support or distractions if you’re struggling
Compliment a stranger — small moments matter

✅ 3. Do something with your hands

Clean. Organize. Junk drawer. Closet. Anything that creates:

distraction
accomplishment
a tiny sense of control in a messy season

✅ 4. Have a plan for the day (chunk it- hee hee "chunk" is such a funny word)

Morning / midday / evening. Decide:

where you’ll go
what you’ll eat
what you’ll watch
what you’ll do when the feelings hit

✅ 5. Keep kid conversations brief + positive

Don’t guilt your kids or make them feel responsible for your sadness. Have a “safe” positive story ready before you call.

✅ Bonus idea: go to a movie

It’s a built-in time block, gets you out of the house, and gives your brain a break.

What NOT To Do (Important)

Don’t numb yourself into oblivion (alcohol, doom scrolling, dissociating)
Don’t isolate all day
Don’t stalk your ex or interrogate your kids
Don’t make big legal/emotional decisions today
Don’t shame yourself for feeling sad or relieved
If you’re spiraling: stay off social media

Here are some podcasts we love:

Morgan's picks:

NPR News Now (omg boring)

Big Deal

Andrea's picks:

Crime Junkie

Andrea's favorite YouTube workout channel-

https://www.youtube.com/@MadFit

Join our private community here: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/17bUX16Wvz/

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

182. Surviving Christmas When You Want a Divorce

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0500

Why the holidays amplify doubts. What to do instead of panicking.

If you're overwhelmed, exhausted, pretending you’re fine, or Googling “How to pretend I'm not miserable in my marriage and ruin Christmas?” this conversation is exactly what you need.

December hits differently when your marriage feels heavy. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea break down why the holidays can push you into emotional overdrive and why that does not automatically mean you need to file for divorce today. From understanding the difference between a crisis moment vs. a clarity moment, to learning the now-iconic Pantry Party Plan, this episode gives you practical strategies to stay grounded, calm, and emotionally safe during one of the most triggering months of the year.

You’re Not Weak — You’re Overwhelmed

Andrea and Morgan open the episode with a message so many listeners need to hear:

You’re going to be okay.

Holiday stress isn’t proof that your marriage suddenly collapsed — it’s proof that December is a pressure cooker.

Friends. Traditions. Money. Kids. Expectations. Fake joy.

Your nervous system is maxed out, and that’s normal.

A crisis moment feels like:

wanting to flee your house
hiding in the pantry
crying out of nowhere
fantasizing about driving away and not coming back
panic bubbling in your chest

These moments do NOT require divorce decisions.

A clarity moment feels like:

“Yep… this marriage still doesn’t feel right.”
annoyance, sadness, or distance
noticing repeating patterns
calm recognition of misalignment

Clarity = information

Crisis = not the time to act

This distinction alone saves listeners from major mistakes.

December will give you a moment where you need to step away — mentally or physically.

Andrea introduces the Pantry Party Plan, a simple, strategic grounding tool to stop panic from running the show.

Step 1: Set a timer.

3 minutes → small wobble
5–7 minutes → medium crisis
10 minutes → major meltdown prevention

Step 2: Exhale first.

Panic makes it nearly impossible to breathe in.

So start by pushing out all your air, then allow the inhale.

Step 3: Add your mantra.

Pick something that makes you laugh, relax, or feel powerful.

Andrea’s?

“Bitches ain’t shit.”

Find one that works for YOU.

🧘‍♀️ Why December Makes Everything Feel Worse

Morgan breaks down the legal + emotional side:

Emotional triggers:

holiday traditions when you're unhappy
forced family time
pretending everything is fine
loneliness in a room full of people
constant “countdown” messaging
financial pressure

Legal triggers:

you feel like decisions MUST be made now
you assume you need to file before year-end
emotions wipe out logic

Reality:

Unless you are in a dangerous or urgent situation, you do NOT need to make major legal moves in December.

🗓 Give Every Big Feeling 24 Hours

December creates urgency — emails scream “LAST DAY!” and everyone feels squeezed.

But Morgan and Andrea give the rule:

WAIT 24 HOURS before acting on heavy emotions.

Your clarity returns when your nervous system stabilizes.

🛑 This is NOT the Time for Legal Lists

Unlike many episodes, this is NOT when you:

list marital issues
write notes for your attorney
plan financial strategy
make decisions about filing

This is the month of survival, not productivity.

Your only job: protect your head and heart.

🎁 Why Gift-Giving Can Actually Be Healing

Andrea shares how crafting a thoughtful teacher gift became an unexpected source of joy when nothing else felt good.

For some people, creating something for someone else can momentarily relieve the emotional load.

For others?

Like Morgan?

It’s stress-inducing.

Pick the lane that helps YOU.

📺 What to Watch When Holiday Movies Make You Cry

Avoid the emotional Hallmark specials.

Andrea recommends lighter options — like Nailed It — to give your brain a break from holiday perfection and family-togetherness fantasy scenes.

👥 You’re Not Alone — Join the HNTSAD Private Community

If you're feeling isolated, the private community offers:

anonymity
support from people who get it
guidance from Morgan and Andrea
a place to ask real questions

Plus: more tools on the website, including the Divorce Crash Course and other guides.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

181. Not Ready to File for Divorce? What to Do Instead

Fri, 12 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0500

How to prepare, protect yourself, and move forward without rushing

This episode is especially helpful if you’re searching for:

How to prepare for divorce without filing
Emotional separation before divorce
How to survive the holidays before divorce
What is a silent divorce?
How to tell your spouse you want a divorce (but not yet)
Divorce timing strategy
How to protect kids during separation

If you’re quietly planning your next chapter, this one is for you.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport dive deep into the concept of the silent divorce: the unofficial, emotional separation that happens when one or both partners know the marriage is ending, but they're not ready to officially file yet.

If you're feeling emotionally checked out, unsure of timing, scared of disrupting the holidays, or stuck in a “limbo marriage,” this episode helps you understand what a silent divorce is, the signs you're in one, and most importantly : what to DO about it.

Andrea and Morgan break down two scenarios:

1️⃣ When both spouses know divorce is coming but are waiting.

2️⃣ When only one spouse knows, and the other has no idea.

You’ll hear practical guidance, emotional support, and legal strategy to help you prepare without panicking, protect your kids, and avoid major divorce mistakes.

Plus, you’ll hear hysterical QuickBooks chaos, psychic readings on Oak Street, and a glamorous side quest to the Waldorf Astoria. Classic HNTSAD energy.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✔ What a “silent divorce” actually is

How emotional withdrawal and parallel living become the early stage of divorce long before filing papers.

✔ Signs you’re in a silent divorce

– Minimal communication

– Loss of intimacy

– Roommate vibes

– Emotional loneliness

– Avoidance of conflict

– No partnership energy

**✔ If both partners know divorce is coming**

Do this:

Keep things predictable
Set temporary boundaries (separate bedrooms, shared spaces, routines)
Treat this time as preparation, not limbo

**✔ If only you know divorce is coming**

Do this:

Understand your secrecy is not deceit — it’s strategy
Confide in only ONE trusted person
Start preparing emotionally, financially, and legally

✔ Why timing matters (especially during the holidays)

Morgan explains why the holiday season is almost never the right moment for a divorce announcement — legally, strategically, and emotionally.

Andrea shares how to survive the “holiday performance pressure” without pretending everything is perfect.

✔ How to handle parenting when you're silently divorcing

Simple scripts, routines, and communication tips to help keep kids grounded and minimize emotional fallout.

✔ The #1 thing that reduces divorce fear: preparation

Fear = confusion

Confidence = clarity

This episode shows you how to take the first steps safely, smartly, and privately.

“A silent divorce is not a selfish move — it is a strategic move.”

“You don’t have to file today to start preparing for tomorrow.”

“Secrecy isn’t deceitful — it’s careful.”

“A silent divorce is a temporary solution, not a long-term fix.”

“Preparation reduces panic.”

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

180. The Most Powerful Divorce Negotiation Tool You’re Not Using

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0500

Why strategy, not emotion, wins negotiations.

Emotions don’t win in divorce court — facts and strategy do. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, divorce attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian-turned-divorce-advocate Andrea Rappaport walk you through how to negotiate your divorce like a pro using their THINK framework:

T – Take the emotion out of it
H – Have realistic non-negotiables
I – Identify their pain points
N – Negotiate from facts, not feelings
K – Keep your BATNA in mind (your best backup plan)

If the idea of mediation, settlement conferences, or sitting across from your ex makes you want to hide in a hole, this episode is your game plan. You’ll learn how to work with your lawyer instead of against them, what’s actually realistic to ask for, how to use what you know about your ex as legal leverage, and why clinging to your emotions can cost you big money, time, and sanity.

Whether you’re just starting your divorce, heading into mediation, or trying to wrap up a long, exhausting case, this episode will help you stay out of court if possible, save money, and make smarter decisions for you and your kids.

In This Episode, We Cover:

Why “facts win” in divorce
How emotions spiral, stories get twisted, and why judges and mediators care about documents, numbers, and timelines — not drama.
T = Take the emotion out of it
Andrea’s “Ziploc bag and freeze your feelings like a 2018 pot roast” strategy
How to notice when you’re triggered in mediation (hello, Brenda and Chad)
What to say to your lawyer when you’re about to lose it — and when to zip it and let them speak for you
H = Have realistic non-negotiables
The difference between must-haves and nice-to-haves
Why “I want 100% custody” usually isn’t realistic
How to decide which holidays, financial terms, or parenting provisions are truly non-negotiable
Morgan’s example of a client who refused to accept any end date on maintenance — and why that was realistic in her case
I = Identify their pain points
How to “play detective” and figure out what your ex really cares about (ego, money, reputation, time with kids, a specific property, etc.)
Morgan’s story of using a husband’s obsession with a particular property to get her client more money on the balance sheet
Why negotiation is less about what you want and more about what motivates them
N = Negotiate from facts, not feelings
Why you should write your facts in clear bullet points, not emotional paragraphs
How “friend of the family” promises and verbal side deals (hi, John 🙃) don’t count in court
The power of real numbers and real documents: appraisals, bank statements, incomes, and written offers
K = Keep your BATNA in mind
What BATNA actually means in divorce: Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement
How to think about your “backup plan” if mediation doesn’t work — i.e., what a judge is likely to do with your facts
Why knowing your BATNA calms panic, helps you avoid low-ball offers, and keeps you from spending more on legal fees than you stand to gain
When it’s actually smarter to stop fighting, accept a good-enough deal, and go home
What to really expect from mediation
Why the first day of mediation often feels “wasted” and why it’s actually valuable intel
How good lawyers use mediation to study your ex, learn their triggers, and refine strategy
Why mediation that “fails” still teaches your lawyer how to help you at the next stage
How to use your lawyer the right way
What to ask your attorney when you’re overwhelmed: “If this were your life, what would you do?”
How to talk honestly about risk, cost, and realistic outcomes
Why you should stop trying to be the lawyer and let your lawyer do their actual job

Emotions are valid, but they don’t belong at the negotiation table.

Work with your lawyer to define realistic non-negotiables based on the law, not just your fear or anger.

Use what you know about your ex’s insecurities and priorities as strategic leverage.

Facts, numbers, and written offers win in divorce — not stories, verbal promises, or assumptions.

Always know your BATNA (what likely happens in court) so you’re not negotiating from panic.

Mediation rarely feels “pretty,” but it’s almost always cheaper, faster, and less emotionally damaging than court.

You are not supposed to already know how to do this — that’s why you have a lawyer and your divorce besties, Andrea & Morgan.

We are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.com

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Join the private communities!

The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

The How Not to Suck at Life AFTER DIVORCE Community

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

179. Hard Truths About Divorce No One Warns You About

Wed, 26 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0500

Hard truths that can save you time, money, and sanity.

If you want the real truth about divorce, buckle up. In this episode, Andrea and Morgan deliver the unfiltered, uncomfortable, absolutely-necessary truths your lawyer wishes you understood…but might be too afraid to say directly.

From how the legal system really works to why your expectations are sabotaging your sanity, this episode is the wake-up call you need if you’re navigating divorce, co-parenting, or even just preparing for that dreaded Thanksgiving dinner with your very opinionated family.

This one is honest, hilarious, a little unhinged (hi Andrea), and packed with strategic guidance that will help you avoid major mistakes.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

1. Nothing in divorce is “fair” — and why that mindset will destroy you

The legal system doesn’t care about fairness. It’s designed for equitable distribution, not emotional justice.

2. Stop expecting the legal system to deliver revenge

Morgan breaks down why the courts aren’t built to punish your ex — even when you deeply (and correctly) feel they deserve it.

3. Lower your expectations, raise your strategy

Why your expectations are often unrealistic, what “the range” actually means in divorce outcomes, and how lowering your expectations protects your mental health and your wallet.

4. Know the law where you actually live (yes, geography matters)

Andrea reminds listeners that different states = different standards. Don’t guess. Don’t Google. Ask your lawyer to explain what’s realistic where YOU live.

5. Stop focusing on your ex — focus on YOU

Your ex won’t suddenly transform into a better human mid-divorce. (Brenda does not become Glinda.) Focus on your responses, your regulation, and your strategy.

6. Backseat drivers & Thanksgiving disasters

How to shut down intrusive family commentary (“That’s not fair!”) and exactly what to say at the holiday table when everyone wants details about your divorce.

7. Your kids will hurt — but they will be OK

Andrea shares her own emotional story about her first Thanksgiving without her kids, and how focusing on what she could control changed everything.

8. Do NOT fire off emotional texts

Use a communication app like OurFamilyWizard to protect yourself legally and emotionally — especially with the ToneMeter feature that stops you from sending something you’ll regret.

Hard Truths from This Episode

The legal system is not designed to make you feel better.
Your ex won’t change just because you’d like them to.
Your attorney isn’t your therapist.
Fairness is not a legal standard. Equitable is.
Focusing on your ex keeps you stuck.
You are responsible for asking your lawyer the right questions.
Your expectations need to be realistic, not emotional.

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 — Hard truth: nothing about divorce is “fair”

00:05 — Why the legal system will NOT give you justice or revenge

00:21 — Show intro

01:12 — Morgan’s chaotic morning + the freight elevator monkey situation

02:38 — Why a small client gift boosted the entire legal team

03:26 — Andrea’s shocking weekend text to Morgan

04:30 — Kim Kardashian’s “All’s Fair”: Andrea’s surprising review

05:36 — HARD TRUTH #1: Lower your expectations

08:43 — How to “bet on yourself” when everything feels unstable

10:08 — The client who saved millions by lowering expectations

10:58 — Best case vs worst case vs realistic outcomes

12:11 — HARD TRUTH #2: Nothing about this will feel fair

14:48 — What “equitable” actually means in divorce

17:02 — The danger of getting stuck in unfairness mindset

18:39 — How to handle family’s opinions during holiday gatherings

20:47 — HARD TRUTH #3: The system is not built for revenge

22:02 — HARD TRUTH #4: Stop focusing on your ex’s behavior

22:40 — Letting go of trying to “teach lessons”

24:39 — Why your ex won’t suddenly improve during divorce

25:50 — HARD TRUTH #5: Focus on YOU, not Brenda

27:17 — Why lawyers don’t tell you these things directly

28:49 — What to say at Thanksgiving to shut down nosy relatives

31:05 — Andrea’s raw story of her first kid-free Thanksgiving

33:22 — The “body shot off Dad” moment (you know it’s coming)

34:52 — Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint

35:26 — Resources, guides & community links

This episode is your permission to drop the guilt, stop white-knuckling the process, and start approaching your divorce with clarity, strategy, and self-compassion.

If you’re going through a divorce right now — especially a high-conflict one — this is the episode you can’t skip.

Rate, review, and share to help someone who needs it.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

178. How Asking ‘WHY’ Can Change Your Divorce

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0500

Making better decisions by understanding what really matters.

If you’re in the middle of a divorce and constantly asking yourself “WHY is this happening?”, this episode is about to save you money, misery, and a whole lot of emotional tailspinning.

This week, Andrea and Morgan dive deep into the question that can either move your divorce forward—or completely derail you: WHY.

When is asking why strategic?

And when is it a waste of attorney fees (or your sanity)?

To help break it all down, we’re joined by Cary J. Mogerman, one of the most respected divorce attorneys in Missouri. Cary brings decades of experience, a wise-professor vibe, and a no-nonsense approach to helping clients understand the process clearly, calmly, and strategically.

Cary J. Mogerman is one of the most highly regarded divorce lawyers in Missouri and wellknown to other top family law attorneys throughout the United States. He is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and in 2022, served as President of the national organization. He is a Diplomate of the American College of Family Trial Lawyers, an invitation-only assemblage limited to 100 members throughout the United States; Cary is a member of its executive committee. He is a Fellow of the International Academy of Family Lawyers.

https://carmodymacdonald.com/people/cary-j-mogerman/

In this conversation, you’ll learn:

Why “Why is this happening to me?” is a therapist question—not a lawyer question
How to ask WHY in a way that strengthens your strategy, saves money, and reveals leverage
Why understanding your spouse’s emotional triggers can completely shift mediation
The one communication mistake clients make that drives lawyers insane
When your lawyer should break things down in plain language
Why slowing down your responses (yes, YOU) will prevent disaster
How to stop burning money on the wrong kind of questions
Why the legal process feels slow, confusing, and unfair—and what to do with that
How to advocate for yourself without apologizing

PLUS: Andrea reveals a HUGE co-parenting milestone (Shabbat dinner with the ex… yes, seriously), and Morgan talks through why listeners were so triggered by last week’s episode—and what that means for your own healing.

This is the episode you NEED if you’re negotiating, mediating, litigating, co-parenting, or just trying to get through the day without rage-texting your ex or panic-emailing your lawyer.

Key Takeaways

1. Not All “Why” Questions Are Helpful

“Why is this happening?”

“Why is he acting like this?”

“Why is she being crazy?”

These are human questions—but not legal ones.

They belong in therapy, not in your billable hours.

2. Strategic Why’s Are POWERFUL

Why are we filing this motion?

Why is this our mediation plan?

Why is my ex reacting this strongly to ONE issue?

These help your attorney build a smarter, more effective case.

3. Your Lawyer Should Explain Everything in Plain Language

Cary breaks down why attorneys NEED to simplify their communication—and why you should never feel embarrassed asking:

“Can you explain that in normal-person English?”

4. Your Spouse’s Triggers = Your Strategy

You know your spouse better than anyone.

Your insights help your attorney negotiate smarter and faster.

5. Don’t Make Split-Second Decisions During Emotional Surges

You’re not being chased by a bear.

Slow down. Breathe. Don’t respond immediately.

You can literally save thousands of dollars by pausing.

6. Your Lawyer Isn’t Your Therapist

If you use your attorney to process grief, fear, or trauma—you’ll pay for it.

A therapist handles feelings.

A lawyer handles logistics and strategy.

7. Mediation Success Depends on the Why

Understanding WHY your ex digs their heels in reveals:

leverage
pressure points
opportunities for compromise

8. Don’t Waste Your Money Asking Why the Law Is Unfair

It is unfair.

But your lawyer can’t change it.

Save your dollars for actual strategy.

Timestamps

00:00 — Cary opens up about the problem with legal language

00:09 — Morgan: never feel bad asking “why”

00:19 — How WHY can transform mediation

00:46 — Show intro

01:22 — Connecting instead of isolating during divorce

01:37 — Truly Engaging partnership

02:19 — Holiday-card humor + promo code

02:26 — Being proactive vs reactive in divorce

02:44 — Why communication apps matter (Our Family Wizard plug)

03:19 — Andrea drops a HUGE co-parenting surprise

05:02 — The Shabbat dinner miracle (yes, really)

06:33 — Listener backlash from last week

07:40 — Nervous system regulation in co-parenting

08:53 — Introducing guest attorney Cary Mogerman

10:16 — Why blindsided spouses struggle with “why”

12:04 — When WHY keeps clients stuck

13:26 — The role of therapy vs legal strategy

14:44 — The cost of asking the wrong WHY

15:30 — When WHY is your best tool

17:02 — How WHY reveals leverage in mediation

17:54 — Plain language: the communication clients deserve

19:48 — Don't feel bad asking your lawyer to explain

21:22 — Email vs call: when & how to communicate

22:18 — How to prep for a paid call with your attorney

23:41 — Using WHY strategically in litigation & mediation

24:33 — When your WHY belongs in therapy

25:16 — Why divorcing people need communication guides

26:26 — Knowing your spouse’s triggers = negotiation power

27:25 — Why lawyers need your full story

28:41 — Real-life example: using money triggers in negotiation

31:34 — Why you don’t need to make immediate decisions

32:21 — Emotional reactivity and fight-or-flight

33:52 — Why your brain panics during divorce

35:14 — The WHY questions that waste money

35:45 — Why fairness doesn’t matter in court

37:36 — Action steps: when to ask WHY & when not to

38:47 — Cary’s closing wisdom

39:39 — How to know when to get curious vs when to let go

40:59 — Resources to help you save money & stress

41:28 — Why divorce is a marathon, not a sprint

42:02 — Final reassurance: you’ve got this (and we’ve got you)

Join the private communities!

The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

The How Not to Suck at Life AFTER DIVORCE Community

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

177. The Co-Parenting Secret That Changes Everything

Fri, 14 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0500

How one shift can reduce conflict and protect your kids.

If the idea of “healthy co-parenting” makes you want to throw your phone, this episode is for you. Comedian Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill sit down with co-parenting expert and bestselling author Jon Bassford, JD, MBA, CAE, whose real-life story of turning a hostile divorce into a functional, daily-communication co-parenting dynamic will shock you—in the best way.

Jon's new book, The Co-Parenting Secret: It's Not About You, doesn't sugarcoat the difficulty or pretend everyone can be friends. Instead, it offers a revolutionary reframe: stop thinking about "my time" or "their time" and start thinking about your child's life. It challenges the toxic win/lose mindset and offers a new model: collaborative parenting focused on emotional safety, communication, and showing up for your kid every time.

His message resonates with divorced, separated, dating-but-split, or any parents navigating two-home situations, because it's not about having a friendly ex or following a perfect plan. It's about making intentional choices that prioritize your kids above your own convenience, preferences, or pride.

Jon is also a TEDx speaker, CEO of Lateral Solutions, and brings 20+ years of executive leadership to his work but this book isn't about applying business frameworks to family life. It's about the messy, honest journey of getting co-parenting right after getting it wrong.

Jon didn’t start with unicorns and rainbows. There was resentment, trash-talking, incompatible living… the whole messy thing. But he learned the intentional steps that transform co-parenting from a battleground into actual teamwork. In this episode, we dig into what co-parenting looks like when it’s real, what to do when your ex refuses to cooperate, and why saying “Of course” instead of “Fine” could change literally everything.

Whether you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, parallel-parenting with someone who refuses to meet you halfway, or just trying to not lose your mind over a simple schedule swap, you’ll walk away with mindset shifts, scripts, action steps, and legal strategy you can use TODAY.

Key Takeaways

1. Co-Parenting Doesn’t Start Perfect — It Evolves

Jon and his ex did not get along at first. There was hostility, miscommunication, and resentment — just like what most people experience. Progress happens in baby steps, not giant leaps.

2. Saying “Of Course” Isn’t About Your Ex — It’s About You

Your instinct is to say “no.” That’s human. But dropping your guard and choosing calm over chaos immediately changes your internal state. Less spiraling, less anger, less anxiety.

3. Strategic Co-Parenting Helps You in Court

Morgan breaks down how tools like Our Family Wizard create evidence showing you are the reasonable parent. If a judge ever needs to get involved, this matters A LOT.

4. Letting Go Isn’t Weak — It’s Survival

Jon explains how resentment destroys your peace more than it punishes your ex. Letting go isn’t excusing behavior — it’s freeing yourself.

5. Your Why Keeps You Grounded

Co-parenting gets easier when you know why you’re doing it: stability for your child, emotional peace for yourself, and a healthier long-term dynamic.

Timestamps

00:00 — Why “our natural reaction is to say no”

00:17 — Morgan explains the legal strategy behind saying “yes”

00:31 — What saying “of course” does for you

00:57 — Andrea on isolation during divorce

01:12 — Why connecting with community matters

01:27 — Truly Engaging partnership + holiday card conversation

02:15 — Morgan’s hilarious mic apology

03:06 — “Morgan Scorsese” (thanks, Steve)

03:40 — Why co-parenting can feel impossible

04:14 — Introducing guest Jon Bassford

04:53 — Jon’s unconventional upbringing + what didn’t work

05:39 — The truth: it wasn’t always peaceful

07:10 — How his childhood shaped his co-parenting philosophy

08:30 — Why the “bad dad schedule” is dying

10:22 — What co-parenting actually looks like in real life

11:05 — The messy middle: trash-talking, resentment, counseling

14:04 — How Jon began putting his son first

15:54 — Why outside opinions can derail progress

17:14 — What to do if your ex won’t cooperate

17:55 — The power of one “yes”

20:01 — Co-parenting with a narcissist, abuser, or difficult ex

20:55 — Using Our Family Wizard strategically

22:20 — What saying “of course” does to your nervous system

23:46 — Andrea on emotional regulation + your brain under threat

24:35 — Why counting overnights ruins everything

27:56 — Jon’s 3 action steps

30:01 — What “letting go” actually means

31:06 — The ghosts of past, present & future

32:38 — Jon’s book: The Co-Parenting Secret

34:55 — Baby steps: the real way co-parenting improves

35:40 — What everyone’s kids are eating (Lunchables, cheeseburgers, Walmart nuggets, god help us)

38:02 — The 6-7 meme takes over Halloween

38:48 — Closing thoughts + encouragement

40:52 — How to join the community + resources

41:09 — Final reminder: “You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.”

Episode Resources & Links

✨ Jon Bassford’s Book — The Co-Parenting Secret: It’s Not About You

https://a.co/d/69WVUaH

✨ Andrea’s Famous Walmart Chicken Nuggets

Get them here!

Join the private communities!

The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

The How Not to Suck at Life AFTER DIVORCE Community

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

176. How the SUCK Acronym Changes Your Divorce

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0500

A simple framework for smarter decisions when emotions run high

This week, Morgan and Andrea flip the script and want you to SUCK at divorce. Yep, you read that right. Learn how to Set aside your feelings, Utilize experts, Calm your nervous system, and Know the facts: a game-changing framework that’ll help you make better decisions (and fewer expensive mistakes) during your divorce.

From cortisol spikes to co-parenting apps, nervous-system hacks, and even Amazon finds that actually don’t suck, the girls cover it all ...with the perfect blend of legal insight, emotional honesty, and wine-soaked humor you’ve come to expect.

🧠 What You’ll Learn

Why your emotions are the worst business partners during divorce — and how to manage them
How to think like a CEO (even when you feel like a hot mess)
When and how to actually use your divorce experts
Simple science-based tricks to calm your body in moments of panic
How to separate facts from feelings to protect your sanity (and your wallet)

🛠️ The SUCK Framework

S – Set aside your feelings

U – Utilize experts

C – Calm your nervous system

K – Know the facts (and stick to them)

🥂 Quote of the Week

“Divorce is a marathon — or as Andrea would spell it, a Martha-thon"

Timestamps:

05:01 – The Hulu Show That Made Us Cringe

Andrea reviews All’s Fair — the all-female divorce firm drama starring Kim Kardashian — and the verdict? “It sucks.” (Which turns out to be the perfect segue…)

07:46 – Introducing the SUCK Acronym

Morgan and Andrea unveil a new framework that will actually help you survive your divorce with your dignity intact:

S – Set aside your feelings

U – Utilize experts

C – Calm your nervous system

K – Know the facts (and stick to them)

09:02 – Step 1: Set Aside Your Feelings

Morgan explains the science behind emotional flooding (hello, cortisol!) and how to think like a businessperson instead of a brokenhearted one.

10:34 – Andrea’s Advice for the Highly Emotional

If you can’t be calm — pretend to be someone who can. Channel your inner TV badass (minus the tire-slashing).

11:35 – Step 2: Utilize Experts

Morgan reminds listeners: you hired your experts for a reason. Don’t go rogue.

12:55 – Why Ignoring Your Attorney’s Advice Backfires

Andrea walks through what happens when clients do the opposite of what their lawyer says — and how to avoid a legal disaster.

15:59 – Step 3: Calm Your Nervous System

Andrea and Morgan dig into the physical side of stress. What happens in your body when your ex drops a bombshell — and how to get your calm back.

17:54 – Morgan’s “20-Minute Rule” for Freakouts

She shares a practical strategy: take 20–30 minutes before responding to any major divorce news. No driving, no emailing, no rage-texting.

19:44 – Andrea’s Panic-Proof Toolkit

The “panic attack queen of Chicago” shares her science-backed tricks: movement, cold exposure, vagus-nerve activation, and a hilarious deck of cards that actually help.

22:29 – Step 4: Know the Facts and Stick to Them

Morgan explains why emotional storytelling wastes time and money — and how bullet-pointed facts will save your case.

23:50 – Feelings Aren’t Facts

Andrea breaks down why your opinions about “Brenda being a nut job” won’t hold up in court.

25:07 – How It All Comes Together

Andrea explains how each SUCK step builds on the next — from calming your system to using your experts effectively.

26:46 – Recap: Why You Need to SUCK

Morgan summarizes the SUCK method and introduces their thriving online communities.

27:53 – The Community Shoutouts

They celebrate the rapid growth of their private and post-divorce Facebook groups (and tease upcoming expert videos).

29:17 – Andrea’s Favorite Amazon Finds

Ice rollers, mood-light sconces, and gifts that make your friends’ day — because retail therapy totally counts as healing.

30:44 – Morgan’s $40 Spanx Dupe

The jumpsuit that broke the internet (and didn’t break the bank).

33:57 – Red Light Special

Andrea’s bedroom lighting hack turns hilariously NSFW — and somehow ties back to the theme of “sucking.”

Resources:

Please rate our show! It means so much!! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

Amazon Links:

Andrea's Vegus Nerve Deck: https://a.co/d/7oH0YBr

Andrea's Ice Roller: https://a.co/d/5euYlve

Morgan's SKIMS Dupe Sweatsuit: https://a.co/d/6tJ8zeR

Andrea's battery operated light fixtures: https://a.co/d/5Pqt2Sq

Join the private communities!

The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

The How Not to Suck at Life AFTER DIVORCE Community

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

175. The 3 Biggest Divorce Mistakes People Make at the End

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0500

Why the finish line is the most dangerous phase

You’re almost done… which is exactly when smart people make expensive mistakes. In this punchy, practical episode, Andrea and Morgan tackle “divorce senioritis”, that end-of-process urge to rush, stop reading, or pick last-minute fights, and lay out the three biggest mistakes people make in the final stretch of divorce (plus how to avoid them without losing your mind or your money).

✅ What You’ll Learn (Skimmable Takeaways)

1.Don’t glaze over “small” document edits

Tiny word shifts like “may / shall / will” can flip legal meaning.
Action: Print the latest draft, run a Word Compare, read line-by-line for one quiet hour, and send your written questions to your attorney.
Ask explicitly: “Do these changes affect any earlier documents (e.g., parenting or financial agreements)?”

2.Stop the 11th-hour nickel-and-diming

Adding minor demands late (or “saving money” by not calling your lawyer) can drag negotiations and raise fees.
Action: Bullet the 5–8 items bugging you; ask your lawyer:
“Which of these have a realistic chance of success and are worth pushing to get us across the finish line?”
Big picture > petty wins.

3.Prepare for the mixed emotions after finalization

Relief, sadness, anticlimax—it’s normal to feel the opposite of what you expected.
Action: Don’t over-schedule a celebration that day. Give yourself space to process, rest, and recalibrate.

🕒 Suggested Chapter Markers

00:00 Senioritis is real: why the finish line is risky
05:24 The urge to “just sign it” (and how that backfires)
10:14 Compare feature, “may/shall/will,” and cross-document impacts
16:40 Nickel-and-diming at the 11th hour (and how to reframe control)
23:39 Read like a businessperson, not a broken heart
25:39 The post-divorce emotional curve (why it’s anticlimactic)
28:38 Don’t plan a blowout the day it finalizes—plan space
33:12 Mini-game: Marry or Divorce? (PG-13 edition)

Please rate our show! It means so much!! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

Join the private communities!

The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

The How Not to Suck at Life AFTER DIVORCE Community

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

174. The 3 Biggest Mistakes in the First 30 Days of Divorce

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0500

What to avoid before emotions derail your case

The first 30 days of divorce can feel like a tornado: unpredictable, emotional, and expensive if you’re not careful. In this episode, hosts Andrea Rappaport (comedian + marketing guru) and Morgan L. Stogsdill (family law powerhouse) share the top three mistakes people make in the early days of divorce, and how to avoid them.

From texting your ex when you’re angry, to oversharing on social media, to thinking you can “speed through” the legal process. This episode breaks down the emotional, financial, and legal landmines that derail people again and again. You’ll laugh, cringe, and probably see yourself in a few of these moments (we’ve all been there).

If you’re newly separated or about to file, this episode is your permission slip to pause, breathe, and get smart.

🧾 In This Episode:

1️⃣ Mistake #1: Expecting it to get easier right away

Why things actually feel worse before they get better
How to ask your attorney for a 30-day roadmap
The importance of managing adrenaline and expectations

2️⃣ Mistake #2: Venting online (and via text)

Why your DMs, TikToks, and “inspirational quotes” can backfire legally
The true cost of an emotional text (yes, every angry email = more billable hours)
How to protect your privacy and your kids’ peace during divorce

3️⃣ Mistake #3: Rushing through paperwork to “get it over with”

Why going too fast leads to expensive mistakes
How to give yourself grace — and time — in the process
Why “slow and steady” really does win this race

💬 Key Quotes

“Don’t pop the popcorn and let everybody watch the show. Go to the real people in your world who are there to lift you up.” – Andrea Rappaport

“Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes it’s day by day, other times hour by hour — and that’s okay.” – Morgan Stogsdill

The early days of divorce are all about emotional control, clarity, and smart strategy. Expect the chaos, plan for it, and don’t react from pain. Whether you’re tempted to overshare online, over-email your lawyer, or overthink your ex ... stop, take a breath, and remember: you’ve got this. And we’ve got you.

🔗 Resources Mentioned

💌 Join Our Private Community: For support, laughter, and real talk
✉️ Truly Engaging Cards: Connect with your people this holiday season ([link + promo code in show notes])

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

173. What to Tell Your Divorce Attorney vs. Your Friends

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0500

Why mixing emotional support with legal strategy can hurt your case

When divorce gets messy, who gets the details, your best friend or your lawyer? Comedian Andrea Rappaport and family-law powerhouse Morgan L. Stogsdill break down exactly what belongs in your attorney’s inbox (strategy, facts, timelines, negotiations) and what belongs at brunch (feelings, venting, support). You’ll learn how to communicate efficiently to save money, protect leverage, and avoid sabotaging your case, plus how to choose the right friends to lean on without getting “keyed up and liquored up” and firing off expensive emails. Practical scripts, pattern-tracking tips, and a reminder that attorney-client conversations are confidential.

Negotiating without lawyers? Tell your attorney first.
What to report: “We’ve been negotiating directly,” plus the round-by-round back-and-forth (Offer → Counter → Counter). This preserves leverage and prevents your lawyer from being blindsided by opposing counsel’s “but the parties already agreed…” (≈ 11:00–12:31).
Use cost-effective communications.
Prefer a short bullet-point email or a 15-minute call to recap facts; end with a clear question (“Is this relevant / do you need more?”) so your lawyer can triage quickly (≈ 12:06–12:41, 16:45–17:45).
Medical issues can change your financial outcome.
Tell your lawyer the bottom line (e.g., “Follow-up testing showed I had a stroke; next steps include X”). This can impact maintenance/alimony, health-insurance planning, and future medical costs—don’t hold back due to privacy; it’s confidential (≈ 6:01–8:54).
Kids & custody: document patterns, not one-offs.
Track behaviors over time (timeline with dates) and escalate only when a pattern emerges. Use a co-parenting app (e.g., OurFamilyWizard) so records are centralized and tamper-resistant (≈ 18:59–20:29, 36:13–36:49).
Do not crowd-source legal strategy or finances to friends.
Don’t pass around your financial affidavit/balance sheet or share strategy; non-experts amp anxiety and can trigger costly re-work by your legal team (≈ 24:07–26:45).
Avoid “keyed up + liquored up” emails.
Late-night venting to your lawyer = billable time and often requires follow-up to unwind, costing hundreds for nothing actionable (≈ 24:49–25:48).
Attorney-client privilege & scope.
Your lawyer needs high-level facts and actionable timelines; save feelings for friends/therapist unless they reveal patterns relevant to the case (≈ 4:47–5:37, 18:59–19:46).

00:00 Why lawyers need the facts; negotiating w/o attorneys
03:38 Attorney vs. friend: who gets what
06:01 Medical issues that change financial outcomes
09:35 Private negotiations: how to report rounds + counters
12:06 Bullets vs. calls; add a question to every email
16:45 Kids’ issues: patterns, timelines, apps
21:16 Choosing the right friend (avoid “Sally Big Mouth” & hidden agendas)
24:07 Don’t show friends your balance sheet; cost traps
32:56 Community + handwritten cards (sponsor segment)
41:19 Marathon mindset + resources/community

“Your attorney protects your case; your friend protects your heart—don’t confuse the two.”
“If you’re negotiating directly, tell us—and give the round-by-round offers.”
“Report like a newscaster: facts, dates, sequence. Feelings go to friends.”
“Keyed up + liquored up = very expensive emails.”

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

172. The Divorce ABCs of Dividing Assets

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0500

What you need to know before negotiations begin.

Money talk can make anyone want to hide under a blanket (or a naked sweater 👀), but dividing assets during divorce doesn’t have to send you into a panic spiral. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, comedian Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse attorney Morgan Stogsdill break down the financial side of divorce into three simple letters: A, B, and C

You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, and you’ll definitely take notes as Andrea and Morgan make sense of the mess — from Target runs and Amazon receipts to Botox budgets and business-minded thinking.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

A — Ask for Help: How to stop avoiding financial paperwork, and who you should lean on (yes, paralegals and lawyers are your new BFFs).
B — Think Like a Business Person: Why emotions can tank smart decisions — and how to negotiate like you’re closing a deal, not fighting a war.
C — Calculate, Don’t Catastrophize: The mindset shift that keeps you out of the panic zone and focused on strategy, not drama.
Morgan’s expert tips on financial affidavits, balance sheets, and why honesty about your spending (yes, even the Botox) pays off in the long run.
Andrea’s real-life story about getting zero in her settlement — and how she turned it into a comeback.
Wild (and hilarious) real-world examples of divorce gone petty — from stolen cabinet knobs to donation revenge schemes

💡 Whether you’re splitting assets worth millions or dividing a Target cart, this episode gives you the knowledge, humor, and empowerment to handle your money like a pro — without losing your sanity.

If you have a concern about alcohol use during coparenting time, you need Soberlink. Head to www.soberlink.com/notsuck to see how Soberlink can be used in your case and claim your $100 Visa gift card.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

171. Not Living in Limbo: How to Take Your Life Back During Divorce

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 06:45:00 -0500

Practical steps to move forward even when the case isn’t over.

Do you feel like your life is on pause until your divorce is finalized? You’re not alone, but you don’t have to wait for papers, court dates, or signatures to start moving forward.

In this candid (and hilarious) episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, comedian Andrea Rappaport and top family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill share the real truth about life “in limbo” during divorce and how to reclaim your sense of control today.

What You'll Learn:

Why waiting for “someday” is the biggest trap people fall into during divorce.
The difference between what’s legally on hold vs. what’s emotionally self-imposed
Practical ways to feel progress when everything seems stuck: routines, and community support.
Andrea’s relatable (and ridiculous) humor about skincare, salmon sperm masks, and why she hates the word healing.
Morgan’s legal tips on dating, parenting schedules, and even buying a house before your divorce is final.
A game called “I Give You Permission” where the hosts hand out real-life permission slips to help you breathe easier and take action now

💡 Whether you’re stuck living with your ex, confused about dating during divorce, or simply tired of waiting, this episode gives you both the laughs and the strategies you need to feel less like you’re treading water and more like you’re steering the ship.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

170. The Emotional Divorce Support You Didn't Know You Needed

Fri, 26 Sep 2025 11:30:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill get into the often-overlooked connection between divorce and grief. Divorce can intensify feelings of loss, loneliness, and emotional pain, making it crucial to find healthy coping mechanisms, community support, and tools for personal growth.

The hosts explore why grief isn’t just about the death of a loved one—it’s also a natural and valid response to the end of a marriage or relationship. They break down common misconceptions about grief, the importance of mental health support, and how to create grief-informed workplaces that help employees heal. You’ll also hear actionable strategies for emotional healing, including creative outlets and building supportive communities.

If you’re navigating the complex emotions of divorce and grief this conversation offers both compassion and practical guidance.

What you'll learn:

Divorce is grief: Ending a marriage is a major life loss that requires emotional healing.
Holidays amplify emotions: Loneliness and sadness often increase during seasonal gatherings.
Grief is not linear: It may show up as anger, sadness, guilt, or even relief.
Misconceptions hurt healing: Ignoring or minimizing grief can slow down recovery.
Community matters: Leaning on support groups, friends, and family can ease the burden.
No set timeline: Everyone’s grieving process looks different.
Workplace awareness: Grief-informed policies benefit both employees and employers.
Creative outlets help: Journaling, art, and other self-expressive activities can be powerful coping tools.
Validation is healing: Recognizing all forms of grief encourages healthier mental health.
You’re not alone: Many people share similar struggles and experiences.

Rebecca Feinglos (pronounced fine-gloss) is a certified grief support specialist and founder of Grieve Leave. Rebecca founded Grieve Leave in 2021 as a way to document her experience on a year-long grief sabbatical, as a way to process her own grief and loss— she lost her mother in her teens, her father in 2020, and her marriage in a drawn-out divorce. Grieve Leave has grown into a community of 25,000 that provides tangible takeaways, resources, and a healthy dose of humor, creating an entire movement around taking intentional time to grieve. Rebecca has been featured in LA Times, Fortune, TIME, HuffPost, Slate, and ELLE for her raw and revolutionary voice, inspiring a more grief-informed world.

Resouces:

Grieve Leave: check them out here: www.greiveleave.com

Soberlink: Save $$ off your alcohol monitoring device by visiting Soberlink here: www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

How Not to Suck at Divorce Private Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1EdbV4Yr79/

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

TikTok: @divorcepodcast

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

169. Divorce Advice From Celebrity Attorneys and Judges

Fri, 19 Sep 2025 07:00:00 -0500

When you’re in the middle of a divorce, one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make is hiring the right attorney. In this powerhouse episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport (comedian) and Morgan Stogsdill (head of family law at the largest firm in the U.S.) sit down in Los Angeles with celebrity divorce attorneys and judges to uncover what really matters when it comes to navigating high-stakes cases.

From avoiding the “shark attorney” trap to protecting your kids and learning how to negotiate like a pro, this episode is full of real talk and insider advice. Oh, and yes—we spill some behind-the-scenes tea from our LA adventure, hotel fiascos included.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode 🎧

Why hiring the wrong lawyer can ruin your case
(and why “sharks” only guarantee that lawyers win—not clients).
What judges look for when deciding if an attorney is a good fit for your case.
The “beauty pageant” of divorce attorneys — and how to shop smart without rushing.
Communication mistakes that cost thousands, like adding one little jab (“jerk”) to an otherwise harmless text.
How to protect your kids from being dragged into custody disputes or used as messengers.
Negotiation secrets: why making the first offer usually leads to a better deal.
The role of forensic accountants and when you really need one.
Celebrity divorce lessons: what everyday people can learn from the way stars protect their privacy and brand.

Expert Voices in This Episode

You’ll hear from some of the most respected celebrity divorce attorneys and judges in Los Angeles, including:

Chris Melcher – High-profile family law attorney known for representing celebrities.

Celebrity lawyer Christopher C. Melcher is ranked as a best family law attorney in California 2023 (Band 1 Chambers High Net Worth) and is a partner of top family law firm Walzer Melcher Yoda

Commissioner Gretchen Taylor – Hon. Judge bringing empathy and sharp insights from the bench.

Prior to her tenure on the Los Angeles Superior Court and the Riverside Superior Court, Hon. Gretchen W. Taylor, a Certified Family Law Specialist since 1991, was a successful Beverly Hills Family Law attorney for 18 years.

Judge Dianna Gold-Saltman – Family law judge offering candid advice on communication and expectations.

Hon. Dianna Gould-Saltman (Ret.) is a well-respected family law attorney and was a Los Angeles Superior Court judge. In her first year as a private neutral, Judge Gould-Saltman was named one of 24 leading family law private judges in the State of California by Doyle’s Guide.

Steve Mindel – Renowned attorney breaking down negotiation, financial pitfalls, and the psychology of divorce.

With over 30 years of experience in family law, Steven A. Mindel is the Managing and Founding Partner of FMBK and a Certified Family Law Specialist*, dividing his time between leading one of Southern California’s premier family law firms and representing clients in complex matters.

Why This Episode Matters

Most people panic-hire the first lawyer they meet. But the right attorney won’t just tell you what you want to hear—they’ll push back, set realistic expectations, and protect your long-term stability. This episode arms you with the questions to ask, the red flags to spot, and the strategies that save time, money, and your sanity.

Resources & Links Mentioned

Divorce Crash Course → A step-by-step guide on hiring the right attorney and avoiding costly mistakes. www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

"You Got This and We Got You" Hats! https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/gifts

Soberlink → Alcohol monitoring to keep kids safe during parenting time. soberlink.com/notsuck
Levitt Quinn- The services that they offer in LA county help so many who otherwise would not have access to legal representation https://levittquinn.org/

And last, but not least, please go check out the FABULOUS SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills, tell them How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast sent you! They'll be extra nice!

SLS Beverly Hills

👉 Listen now to hear what celebrity judges and attorneys want you to know about divorce—and how to avoid the biggest mistakes.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

TikTok: @divorcepodcast

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

168. How to Make Your Divorce Case a Priority With Your Attorney

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 10:00:00 -0500

Do you want your lawyer to actually call you back, explain the plan, and move your case forward? It’s not magic...it’s how you communicate and collaborate.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan break down what puts you on your divorce attorney’s priority list (and what lands you on the “not today” pile). You’ll hear real stories, simple scripts, and clear next steps to get faster responses, clearer strategy, and better service...without spending more than you need to.

What You'll Learn:

How to make your divorce case a priority
How long it should take for your attorney to respond to you
How to get clear action steps from your divorce attorney
Knowing when is it time to get a second opinion or switch divorce attorneys and how to do it
How to not annoy your divorce attorney so they won't hate you and not prioritze your case!

Listen in for the exact do’s and don’ts, respectful scripts that work, and a refreshingly honest take on getting the support you deserve during divorce.

Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:

Need a thoughtful way to connect? Shop our curated greeting cards here.
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major (and expensive) mistakes. Learn more here.
Our Family Wizard is a fantastic resource for anyone navigating co-parenting. Check out our partnership here.

Friends, slide into our DMs—we love hearing from you. We’re always here to listen and help in any way we can. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

Instagram: @hownottosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

167. What No-Fault Divorce Really Means for Affairs, Money, and Custody

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 13:00:00 -0500

When an affair is part of your divorce story, it can feel like there’s no justice...especially in a no-fault state. In this candid, funny-but-serious conversation, Andrea and Morgan break down what you can control: your money, your mindset, and your parenting decisions. They explain how dissipation (spending marital funds on a third party) might matter, when it’s worth digging into records, what to ask your lawyer, and why protecting your mental health (and your kids) is the real win. You’ll also hear how new partners or messy situations (hello, “au pair drama”) can affect parenting time and how to keep your own behavior from hurting your case.

What You’ll Learn:

What a no-fault divorce actually means for affairs
How spending money on someone else can affect your case
A simple way to ask your lawyer about looking into dissipation without overspending
Why protecting your mental health matters more than “justice”
How new partners or messy situations can impact parenting time

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

167. Should You Get Divorced or Stay in Your Marriage?

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0500

How to decide without letting fear or pressure drive the choice

When you’re stuck wondering if you should stay married or finally move forward with a divorce, the decision feels impossible. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan get real about how to weigh your options—emotionally and practically—so you can stop spinning in circles and start finding clarity.

They share a powerful acronym to help you evaluate your marriage, plus the exact logistical steps you should take if divorce might be on your horizon. From emotional check-ins to financial prep, you’ll walk away knowing what questions to ask and what to do next.

Questions answered in this episode:

How do you know if it’s really your marriage—or just outside stress—making you unhappy?
What is the TALK acronym and how can it help you evaluate your relationship?
Why is therapy (with a professional, not a friend) a critical first step?
What does “attunement” actually mean in a marriage, and why does it matter?
How can laughter and levity show you the health of your relationship?
Why do you need to understand the divorce process before making a decision?
What financial steps should you take if you’re not sure whether to divorce?
How does timing (holidays, business cycles, even illness) affect the right moment to file?
What should you know about custody laws in your state before deciding?
How do you know if you’re mentally strong enough to start the divorce process?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

166. Navigating School Politics, Communication, and Mom Drama for Divorcing/Divorced Parents

Fri, 22 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Let’s face it—back to school hits different when you’re divorced… and especially when you’re the one stuck writing 40 thank-you notes from a six-year-old who can barely write his name.

In this episode, Andrea and Morgan are tackling two of the most unhinged yet relatable parenting hurdles:

🎁 Kid birthday party etiquette (aka the gift spiral from hell)

📚 Back-to-school survival when you’re divorced or divorcing

From the emotional whiplash of a toddler’s party gift pile to awkwardly dodging your ex at curriculum night, these two don’t hold back. Expect brutal honesty, hysterical hypotheticals (yes, hiring someone to write thank-you notes is discussed), and practical survival tips to help you navigate the school year without screaming “NOT WELL, B*TCH!” at the PTA meeting.

What You’ll Learn (and Laugh About):

Why Lego gifts are basically a hate crime
How to communicate with teachers without throwing your ex under the school bus
What to do when your kids feel caught between two parents on the first day of school
Why sitting with your ex at a band concert might not be best (even if Celine Dion is involved)
The right (and wrong) way to set expectations with schools and teachers
Tips for socializing as a newly single parent (yes, we see you hiding in your car after drop-off)

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

165. Crucial Action Steps When Divorcing an Abusive Partner (And a Story That Will Help You Understand Cohersive Control)

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Andrea and Morgan talk with Laura Richards, host of That’s Where I’m At podcast, about navigating divorce when abuse is part of the marriage. Laura shares her story of leaving a relationship that looked perfect from the outside but was filled with covert control, manipulation, and emotional harm behind closed doors. Alongside Laura’s experience, Andrea and Morgan offer practical and legal guidance for protecting yourself during this challenging time.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How to identify and safeguard important items, financial records, valuables, and sentimental possessions before they can be taken or hidden.
The importance of creating a legally sound safety plan for yourself and your children, even if the abuse has never been physical.
Why you should expect the early stages of divorce to be the most difficult, and how to prepare mentally and emotionally for that period.
How control can shift during divorce and the subtle ways an ex may try to manipulate or intimidate you.
Why having your own attorney matters, even if mediation feels amicable.
The role of supportive communities, therapy, and trusted resources in rebuilding your confidence and moving forward.

Connect with Laura:

Website: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/

Podcast: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/episodes/

Instagram: @thatswhereimatpodcast

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

164. Pre Divorce Action Steps For Leaving An Abusive Marriage (And a Personal Story That Inspired a Blockbuster Movie)

Fri, 08 Aug 2025 16:00:00 -0500

Abuse doesn’t always leave visible scars. If you’re in a marriage where your every move is controlled; whether it’s how you spend money, where you go, or who you see, you may be experiencing abuse without realizing it.

In this episode, we’re giving you the 3 critical steps to take before you leave an abusive marriage, straight from a divorce lawyer’s perspective. Then, you’ll hear a riveting, eye-opening conversation with Dr. Nadine Macaluso—therapist, trauma-bond expert, and former wife of Jordan Belfort, the infamous “Wolf of Wall Street.”

Dr. Nadine shares:

How coercive control and trauma bonds keep people trapped
The truth about love bombing, cognitive dissonance, and the cycle of abuse
What really happened behind the Hollywood portrayal of her marriage
How she rebuilt her life, earned her doctorate, and now helps others break free

Whether your situation mirrors hers or not, the insight and strategies in this episode could save you time, money, and possibly your safety.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

163. The Smartest Way to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

Fri, 01 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

162. What the #1 Divorce Podcast Wants You to Know

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In today's episode, Andrea sits down (sans Morgan! She's out of the country!) to drop some real talk about the hard truths of divorce that no one wants to hear...but everyone needs to. From AI misinformation to expensive attorney mistakes, high-conflict communication, and the emotional fallout of lost friendships, this episode delivers clarity and comfort for anyone navigating the messy middle of divorce.

As always...Absolutely NO fluff. No filter. Just the truth. And a whole lot of support.

What You’ll Learn:

Why you should NEVER EVER use Chat GPT for divorce advice
How to stop chasing “fair” and start playing smart
What to ask your lawyer before litigation (and how to prep your mindset)
Why calming your nervous system is the most powerful legal tool you have
How to protect your wallet when communicating with your attorney
What to do when your friendships shift during your divorce

Mentioned Episodes:

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

161. How to Use Chat GPT in Your Divorce and How NOT to Use it

Fri, 18 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0500

AI might be your late-night bestie, but should it be your divorce attorney? In this candid and insightful episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea welcome back crowd-favorite and former FBI agent Steven Bradley aka the Tech Cowboy to bust myths, deliver tough truths, and provide essential clarity around using AI like ChatGPT during divorce. From legal hallucinations to cringeworthy court moments, this episode will change how you think about AI’s role in your case (and possibly your life). Tune in to learn how to use these tools wisely without risking your custody case, or your dignity.

What You’ll Learn:

Why ChatGPT is not designed for divorce or legal advice, and how it can backfire
What “AI hallucinations” are and why they matter in court
How Our Family Wizard’s ToneMeter AI actually protects you
Simple rules for using AI safely (and legally) during divorce
The difference between closed AI and open AI and why it matters for your case

Questions Answered in This Episode:

Can ChatGPT really help you with your divorce?
Why is it risky to input personal info into open AI tools?
What’s the legal fallout of using AI-generated legal documents in court?
How can co-parents use AI responsibly when emotions are high?
Is there any safe way to get help from AI during divorce?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

160. Preparing for Divorce/Custody Battle- What to Ask Your Attorney, How to Prep..

Fri, 11 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this powerhouse episode, Andrea and Morgan welcome powerhouse attorney and metaphysical strategist Mia Poppe to help listeners emotionally and mentally prepare for the courtroom. Mia shares her toolkit for staying grounded during the most difficult moments of divorce—especially when “divorce psychosis” sets in. This raw, honest, and practical episode is packed with real-life strategies for surviving and thriving through litigation.

What You’ll Learn:

What “divorce psychosis” is and why it’s a temporary but very real state
How to protect your peace when litigation gets nasty
Tactical steps to handle inflammatory messages from opposing counsel
Why emotional intelligence matters more than money in court
How meditation and mindset work can transform your case and your life

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Connect with Mia Poppe:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miapoppe.esq/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/miapoppe/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@nylawsa

Website: https://www.miapoppe.com/

Join the free community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1399345284195177

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

159. I Should Have Gotten Divorced Before I Got Married: An Inspirational Divorce Story

Fri, 04 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Heather McGinley, Emmy award-winning author and founder of The Happily Never After, shares her powerful story of growing up in a fundamentalist Christian family with 21 siblings and how her unconventional upbringing shaped her approach to relationships and divorce. She discusses the mistakes she made during her divorce process, including not interviewing multiple attorneys and failing to file for temporary support, while offering hope that life's most difficult endings can lead to beautiful new beginnings.

What You'll Hear

Heather's shocking revelation about growing up as the eldest of many children in a "quiverfull" fundamentalist Christian household (hit play to find out HOW many siblings 👀)
How religious trauma and purity culture affected her ability to form healthy relationships
The moment her therapist helped her realize she had shut down emotionally as a survival mechanism
Why she says she "should have gotten divorced before getting married"
Her biggest mistakes during the divorce process, including financial decisions that cost her $20,000
Her experience working as a producer on Oprah's show and the valuable lessons about intention
The "bathroom floor" moments during divorce and how to get through them
How divorce became the catalyst for her personal growth and ability to love authentically

Questions Answered in This Episode

How does childhood trauma affect relationship choices in adulthood?
What are the biggest mistakes people make when hiring a divorce attorney?
When should you file for temporary spousal support during divorce proceedings?
How do you know when it's time to get divorced?
Why does divorce often get harder before it gets better?
What should be on your divorce support team?
How can you maintain hope during the darkest moments of divorce?
What role does personal growth play in the divorce process?
How do you move from surviving to thriving after divorce?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

158. Take Back Power. Overcome Divorce Fear.

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Fear. It’s the uninvited guest in every divorce and today, we’re dragging it into the light. Andrea and Morgan sit down with Crazy Ex-Wives Club host Erica Bennett, whose own divorce journey turned from heartbreak and confusion into a masterclass in emotional self-preservation. Erica shares how fear nearly derailed her decisions, how she clawed back her confidence, and why your fear is lying to you. From psychic readings to the art of “future tripping,” this episode is packed with hard truths, solid strategies, and a big reminder that you are not alone in the chaos.

What you’ll learn:

• Why fear is a terrible advisor during divorce

• How to identify fear-based thinking before it tanks your decisions

• The problem with “future tripping” and how to stop it

• Tips to reset your nervous system when you’re spiraling

• What really happens during trial separations (and why they often backfire)

• The emotional cost of being “too nice” during divorce

• How to keep your kids at the center and not the middle of co-parenting

• Tools for managing communication when your ex checks out

• Why shared custody must come with accountability

• How Erica rebuilt her life and happiness post-divorce

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

157. The Biggest "Pre Divorce" Mistakes And How to Avoid Them

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Andrea and Morgan are diving deep into the emotional rollercoaster of pre-divorce decisions, from trial separations and nesting, to financial agreements and moving out. With personal stories, expert legal insight, and a healthy dose of humor, this episode is a must-listen for anyone standing at the edge of a marital crossroads. Whether you’re considering divorce or simply feeling unsettled, this episode will help you think three steps ahead and avoid the most common (and very costly) mistakes.

What you’ll learn:

Why trial separations may backfire (especially if kids are involved)
The pros and serious cons of nesting during separation
How moving out early can hurt your case without proper legal strategy
Why unofficial financial deals are a huge red flag
What to do instead: safe, strategic first moves to protect yourself

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

156. How to Manage the Most Common Forms of Divorce Manipulation

Fri, 13 Jun 2025 05:00:00 -0500

When manipulation sneaks into your divorce, it’s not just annoying, it’s super dangerous. In this candid episode, Andrea and Morgan teach you how to spot the most common manipulation tactics used before and during divorce, and how to stop falling for them. With the unforgettable acronym WTF (Want, Three Steps Ahead, Facts), they walk you through real scenarios, including guilt-tripping about the kids, controlling family finances, and “let’s not use lawyers” setups. Plus, Andrea shares a personal story that inspired the entire conversation complete with a tribute to her late grandmother, the original queen of no-BS.

What you’ll learn:

The WTF method: Want, Three Steps Ahead, and Facts
How pre-divorce manipulation keeps you stuck (and what to do)
Why “we don’t need lawyers” is a massive red flag
Guilt tactics involving kids, family, and money
How to shut down drama without escalating conflict
The emotional and financial cost of being reactive
How to think like a chess player, not a punching bag

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

155. The ONLY Divorce Mediation Prep You’ll Need

Fri, 30 May 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Mediation doesn’t have to suck—but walking in unprepared absolutely does. In this solo power-packed episode, Andrea and Morgan deliver the exact roadmap you need before entering mediation. Whether it’s your parenting plan, finances, or both on the table, this episode walks you through every question to ask your lawyer, how to mentally prepare, and the secret negotiation strategies that’ll keep you calm, confident, and in control.

What you’ll learn:

The 4-part strategy to prep for mediation like a pro
What makes a bad mediator—and how to avoid one
Why your first offer will probably suck (and that’s okay)
What “sweeteners” are and how to use them to get what you want
Tips to regulate your emotions and stay focused during mediation
Whether attorney-assisted mediation is worth it
How to build your own mediation “cheat sheet”
Why mediation saves you time, money, and sanity (even if it fails)

Burning Questions Answered:

“How do I know if what I’m asking for is realistic?”
“What if my ex throws something crazy at me?”
“Do I need to get the mediator to like me?”
“Can I call my lawyer during mediation?”
“What happens if we can’t agree on anything?”

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

154. Divorce Support for Those Who Don't Want the Divorce

Fri, 23 May 2025 05:00:00 -0500

So… your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t? Oof. That’s a brutal position to be in—and one we know all too well. In this candid, no-holds-barred episode, Andrea and Morgan dive into the exact steps you need to take—legally and emotionally—when divorce isn’t your idea, but it’s happening anyway. Whether the papers haven’t been filed yet or you’ve already been served, this is your guide to protecting yourself, preparing smartly, and finding solid ground when your world feels upside down.

What You’ll Learn:

The first 3 legal steps to take if your spouse hasn’t filed yet
How to emotionally process being blindsided by divorce
What to do (and not do) if your spouse has filed
When discernment counseling works (and when it won’t)
How to avoid expensive legal mistakes just because you’re overwhelmed
Why it’s critical to understand your attorney’s strategy

Burning Questions Answered:

“What if I don’t want a divorce—do I have any control?”
“How can I financially prepare if I’m in the dark?”
“Is couples therapy enough to save us?”
“What happens if I ignore the divorce petition?”
“How do I hold it together when I’m falling apart?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

153. Coparenting with a "Narcissist" or Anyone High Conflict (Divorce Tips) with Bill Eddy

Fri, 16 May 2025 05:00:00 -0500

If you’ve ever fired off an angry text, regretted it immediately, or found yourself stuck in never-ending drama with your ex—this episode is for you. Andrea and Morgan sit down with the legendary Bill Eddy (lawyer, therapist, mediator, and creator of the BIFF method) to unpack exactly how to communicate with high-conflict people—without losing your mind (or your case).

You’ll learn why your responses might be feeding the fire, what judges actually notice in emails, and the two acronyms that can completely transform how you co-parent with a difficult ex. Whether you’re in the thick of divorce or trying to rebuild your peace afterward—this is a must-listen.

What you’ll learn:

What the BIFF method is (and why every lawyer uses it)
How to end hostile conversations without fueling the fire
What judges think when they read your emails
How to save major money by communicating smarter
The difference between reacting and responding
Why empathy is a power move (not a weakness)
How to stop playing the blame game and move forward
The biggest legal risk of oversharing via text or email
How to draft a response that makes your ex pause, not pounce
What “emotional mirroring” is—and how to avoid it

Burning questions answered in this episode:

What do I actually say when my ex sends a nasty email?
How can I communicate effectively if my ex is a narcissist?
Should I respond to everything my co-parent says?
Why does tone matter if we’re already in court?
How do I keep conflict from costing me a fortune?

Connect with Bill Eddy:

Website: www.highconflictinstitute.com
Books: BIFF for Co-Parent Communication, Ear Statements, and more
Instagram: @highconflictinstitute

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

152. The Role that Menopause and Perimenopause Plays in Divorce: a Conversation with Midi Health

Fri, 09 May 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Is it your ex… or your estrogen? In this honest, hilarious, and eye-opening episode, Andrea and Morgan sit down with Joanna Strober, founder and CEO of MIDI, to uncover how midlife hormone shifts can sabotage your divorce (and your sanity). They discuss why so many women feel like they’re losing their minds during divorce, how to actually get helpful care without expensive concierge clinics, and what might be missing from your divorce team. Spoiler: it might be estrogen and semaglutide.

What you’ll learn:

What MIDI is—and why it might be your new secret weapon
The signs you’re not “just emotional”… your hormones might be off
How perimenopause symptoms overlap with divorce stress
Why good healthcare now can help you make better divorce decisions
What hormones like estrogen and testosterone can (and can’t) fix
The juicy good truth about weight loss meds like semaglutide (aka Ozempic/Wegovy)
How MIDI makes care accessible and insurance-friendly
The long-term risks of ignoring hormonal health
Why your second act deserves a thriving body and brain
How to stop using your lawyer as your therapist

Burning questions answered in this episode:

What the hell is happening to my body during divorce?
Can hormones really impact mood, memory, libido, and weight?
Is telehealth legit—or should I be worried?
What’s the real deal with GLP-1s (like semaglutide)?
Is testosterone safe for women?
How do I know if I’m in perimenopause?
What if my insurance doesn’t cover this?
Could taking care of my hormones have saved my marriage?
How do I get started with MIDI?
Why is feeling better the key to not sucking at divorce?

Check out MIDI: trymidi.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

**Everything that you hear in this is episode is authentic, and part of paid collaboration with Midi Health**

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

151. Getting the Best Divorce Team (What's Worth Your $$, What's Not?)

Fri, 02 May 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In today's episode, Andrea and Morgan break down the divorce dream team—who you need, who you don’t, and where to invest your VERY hard-earned dollars. From therapists to forensic accountants and parenting coordinators, they give you the inside scoop on which players actually move the needle in your case. Plus, they get real (and a little savage) about online divorce coaches and overpriced fluff. If you're building your team or just starting out, this episode is your ultimate roadmap to not sucking at divorce.

What you’ll learn:

What a “divorce team” actually is and why you need one
When hiring a therapist makes sense (spoiler: probably now)
Why most divorce coaches aren’t worth your money
What a parenting coordinator does—and if you need one
The truth about forensic accountants, child therapists, and financial advisors
Which services save money vs. waste it
The one product they do endorse: The Divorce Crash Course
How to use Our Family Wizard for smoother co-parenting
What red flags to avoid when building your team

Burning questions answered in this episode:

Do I really need a lawyer or can I DIY my divorce?
Who should be on my divorce “dream team”?
What kind of therapist is helpful during divorce (for me or my kids)?
What’s the real deal with divorce coaches on social media?
What does a forensic accountant actually do?
Is it okay to start therapy for my kids without telling my ex?
Can tools like Our Family Wizard actually save me money?
How do I handle team members when my attorney is from a big firm?
Are financial advisors helpful during divorce—or after?
How can I protect my mental and physical health during this process?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

150. The Easiest Way to Save Money in Your Divorce

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Think saving money during divorce is impossible? Think again. In this episode, Andrea and Morgan serve up the real (and hilarious) talk on how to actually cut your legal costs without sacrificing your sanity—or your settlement. From bulletproof email tips to why paralegals are your secret weapon, they’re spilling the strategies that your wallet will thank you for. Bonus: Andrea might just be learning all the words to American Pie, so there’s that too.

What you'll learn:

How bullet-point emails can save you hundreds (yes, hundreds) of dollars
Why scheduling quick, focused calls can be smarter (and cheaper) than endless emails
The right way to ask your attorney for help without skyrocketing your bill
Why working with an associate or paralegal can be a total financial game-changer
The exact language to use when your legal bill makes you want to faint

Burning questions answered in this episode:

How do you ask for cost-saving options without insulting your attorney?
When should you insist on a phone call instead of an email?
What should you do if you’re feeling totally overwhelmed by the documents you need to gather?
How can you tell if your case really needs a big-name partner or if an associate will do just fine?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

149. How To Prepare to Divorce a "Narcissist" with Renee Swanson of the Covert Narcissism Podcast

Fri, 18 Apr 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode on How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea welcome Renee Swanson, host of the Covert Narcissism podcast, for a powerful conversation about planning your way out of an emotionally abusive marriage. Renee shares how she reclaimed her identity, protected her children, and gathered strength before initiating divorce — all while still living under the same roof as her husband. It's an episode full of actionable guidance, healing truths, and hope for anyone feeling stuck, exhausted, and unsure of their next move.

What you’ll learn:

How to emotionally prepare before leaving a toxic relationship
The power of “baby steps” and small daily actions that build long-term momentum
Ways to gather legal and emotional information to reduce overwhelm
How to communicate safely and reclaim your dignity while still in the marriage
Tools and strategies for coexisting with a high-conflict partner during separation
Why there’s never a perfect time to divorce — and why that’s okay

Questions answered in this episode:

Can you begin healing while still in an emotionally abusive marriage?
What does a practical, step-by-step divorce exit plan look like?
How do you manage sharing a home with someone who triggers or controls you?
How do you know when it’s really time to leave?
What legal steps should you take while you’re still deciding?
How do you stop reacting and start protecting your peace?

Our Family Wizard is another fantastic resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our DMs, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Connect with our guest, Renee:

https://www.covertnarcissism.com/podcast

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

148. How Do I Know if I Need a Divorce, or if It’s Menopause/Perimenopause?

Fri, 11 Apr 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan tackle the often-overlooked topic of how perimenopause and menopause can impact relationships and yep, that's right- divorce. They are joined by Dr. Heather Cushing, an MD who specializes in hormonal health, to discuss the effects of hormonal changes on women's moods, behavior, and marital dynamics. The conversation covers the confusion and frustration many women feel as they experience shifts in their bodies and emotions, which can often be mistaken for relationship problems. Dr. Cushing explains the difference between perimenopause and menopause, the importance of hormone therapy (HRT), and how addressing hormonal imbalances can help women make clearer, more rational decisions during the divorce process.

Questions Answered in this Episode:

What is the difference between perimenopause and menopause?
What symptoms are commonly experienced during perimenopause and menopause?
How do hormonal changes affect mood and relationships?
How can hormonal changes lead to feelings of irritability and emotional distance in marriages?
What should women do if they feel like they are not themselves during perimenopause or menopause?
How do hormone imbalances impact decision-making, especially regarding marriage and divorce?
What steps can women take to address hormonal issues before making life-changing decisions like divorce?
Is hormone therapy a safe and effective treatment for women experiencing perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms?
How can men navigate the challenges of supporting a spouse going through hormonal changes?
What are the best approaches to take for those who are hesitant to start hormone treatment but want to feel better?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

147. Divorce Support for Devout Christians

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complex relationship between faith and divorce. Our guest, Bree Sullivan-Howell, a family law attorney and author, shares her personal journey and professional insights on navigating divorce when your Christian faith conflicts with the decision to separate. From understanding the Biblical perspective on divorce to overcoming the shame and judgment that often accompanies faith-based divorces, Brie offers a compassionate and practical guide and practical steps tat you CANNOT miss.

What you'll learn:

The challenges of reconciling religious beliefs with the reality of divorce.
How to handle cultural and religious pressures while considering divorce.
Actionable steps to take before and during the divorce process, including creating a plan, gathering your documents, and preparing for shifts in your social circles.
Insights on how to stay true to your faith while navigating divorce, with examples of how faith can strengthen rather than hinder the process.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Connect with Bree:

bree@sullivan-firm.com

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

146. Special Needs Children & Divorce (What to do BEFORE You File)

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the complexities of navigating a divorce when you have a child with special or higher needs. We’re joined by Cari Pines, an attorney in LA who specializes in family law and has personal experience with raising special needs children. Cari shares her expertise on how to manage the legal and emotional challenges that come with divorce when your child requires extra care and attention.

What you’ll learn:

How to communicate effectively with your attorney about your child’s special needs
The importance of gathering information about your child’s diagnosis, behaviors, and needs before you begin the divorce process
The role of a forensic expert and why this might be necessary in some cases
Practical advice on managing disputes with your ex regarding your child’s medical care and therapy
Tips on using tools like Our Family Wizard to keep track of communications and medical expenses
How to take care of yourself while navigating the difficult path of parenting a child with special needs during a divorce

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

145. High Conflict Divorce: How Do You Know if Your Child needs a GAL or AFC??

Fri, 21 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we explore the complexities of hiring a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) or an Attorney for the Child (AFC), two roles that are often involved when there are disputes over parenting time or custody. Special guest Randi Karmel, a seasoned attorney based in New York, shares her expert insights on when and why these professionals might be appointed in divorce cases and how they can impact your case.

What you’ll learn:

The roles and differences between a GAL and an AFC, and how they advocate for children in custody cases
How to determine if you need an AFC or GAL, and the potential impact on your case
The importance of honesty and transparency when communicating with an AFC or GAL
Key differences in how these roles work in different states, like New York versus Illinois
How to prepare for interviews with an AFC or GAL and what to avoid doing during these interactions

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

144. Does Your Divorce Need a Forensic Accountant?

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 10:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the world of forensic accountants and when you should—and shouldn't—bring one into your divorce case. Featuring expert Marie Ebersbacher, a senior managing director in forensic consulting, we explore how forensic accountants help uncover hidden assets, value businesses, and track income. We also share some wild, real-life stories, including one about a celebrity hairdresser's murder that has some SERIOUS financial implications! Hit play - you can't miss this one!

What you’ll learn:

When is it worth hiring a forensic accountant for your divorce?
How to spot discrepancies in financial documents (and what to do about them)
Real-life stories of financial shenanigans and how they played out in divorce cases
Tips on saving time and money during your divorce process without going rogue

Tune in for valuable insights and a little humor to make the divorce process juuuust a bit less overwhelming!

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

143. The Best Time vs Worst Time to File for Divorce

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, the hosts discuss the right and wrong times to file for divorce with the help of expert family law attorney Jacqueline Newman. They break down seasonal considerations, personal financial situations, and how to recognize when emotional readiness plays a crucial role in deciding whether or not to take the plunge. Jacqueline shares her professional advice on when to act and when it might be wise to wait, all while offering insight on the emotional, financial, and practical factors that affect the timing of a divorce. The episode highlights how a strategic approach, involving patience and timing, can make a significant difference in the outcome of a divorce case.

What Listeners Will Learn:

The ideal time to file for divorce (hint: there actually IS an ideal time)
Why it's important to wait for a stable financial moment or to avoid filing during difficult life circumstances
How to determine if you're emotionally and financially prepared for the challenges of divorce
The importance of understanding the business and financial ramifications before making the decision to file
Why it’s crucial to have a lawyer who asks the right questions to guide you through your divorce strategy
Practical advice on navigating emotional and financial hurdles that can arise when thinking about divorce

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

142. Do I Need a Prenup? (Everything You Need to Know About Prenups to Avoid an Expensive Divorce)

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 14:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the world of prenuptial agreements (prenups) and why they might be something to consider for anyone entering a marriage, especially if you're coming into the union with significant assets or wealth. They cover everything from what goes into a prenup, who might need one, and how to navigate the conversation with your partner, to the importance of finding a good lawyer and ensuring fairness in the agreement. They also discuss some of the more unusual clauses that might appear in prenups and share tips on how to approach the topic with your partner in a way that is clear and non-confrontational.

The burning questions you'll get answers to:

Who typically needs a prenup?

Are there any common clauses included in prenups, like those involving children or lifestyle?

How much can you expect to pay for a prenup?

Should both parties hire separate attorneys when creating a prenup?

What should someone look out for if they are served a prenup?

When is the best time to start discussing and signing a prenup before marriage?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

141. What You Need to Know about Your Divorce Custody Agreement Before You Sign

Wed, 19 Feb 2025 17:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive deep into the dreaded parenting plans (also called custody agreements, parenting schedules, or allocation judgments). They break down what really matters in these complex documents, from decision-making on medical care and extracurricular activities to holiday schedules and the right of first refusal.

Andrea shares her personal struggles with her own parenting agreement and offers tips on how you can avoid the mistakes she made. Morgan provides expert legal insight on how to negotiate a fair agreement that works for both parents and their kids.

What You’ll Learn:

The key components of a parenting plan: decision-making, holidays, medical care, and more.
Why you need to be proactive and think about how decisions today will impact your future.
How to work with your lawyer to create a flexible and fair plan for you and your kids.
The importance of compassionate communication and why it's key when negotiating with your ex.
Pro tips on how to handle tricky situations like school choice, summer camps, and the right of first refusal.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

140. Divorce Anxiety: How to Handle the Inner Chaos and Uncertainty

Sun, 09 Feb 2025 23:30:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive into the overwhelming fear that often accompanies divorce and its impact on decision-making because lets face it - when we're fearful or scared we are NOT in our right minds.

We’re joined by transformational coach Annmarie Chereso, who shares her expertise on how fear affects the brain and behavior during such a challenging time. Annmarie provides practical tools to manage fear, including a four-step method that helps individuals move from a place of fear to empowerment.

You will learn:

How fear impacts decision-making during a divorce and how to recognize when it is taking control
Practical steps to shift out of fear and into empowerment, including breathing techniques, physical movement, and self-compassion
Why it's crucial not to make decisions when in a heightened emotional state and how to effectively manage fear
How embracing the right mindset can help individuals navigate the emotional challenges of divorce, leading to a more balanced and positive outcome

CLICK HERE to grab the Best Parenting Schedules Advice Workbook

Connect with Annmarie:

Website: www.annmariechereso.me

Free Resource: Out of YOUR Mind and Into Your Body! 5 Day Challenge to reconnect with your intuition and trust yourself: https://annmariechereso.me/trust/

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

139. Divorce Deposition PRO TIPS!!!

Fri, 31 Jan 2025 12:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we're talking about the often intimidating process of being deposed during a divorce. We break down what a deposition is, how it works, and the importance of preparation to ensure you present yourself as a strong witness. Morgan, a seasoned divorce lawyer, walks listeners through key strategies for handling a deposition, including how to answer questions succinctly, when to ask for a break, and why staying calm is crucial. They also discuss the role of the lawyer in preparing for the deposition, including the importance of honesty, not over-explaining answers, and how to keep your emotions in check, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed or manipulated!

In this episode you'll learn:

The purpose of a deposition in a divorce case and why it's crucial to the litigation process
How to prepare for a deposition, including working with your lawyer and understanding what questions might come up
The importance of staying calm, professional, and concise during a deposition.
Why honesty and control over your emotions can make a significant difference in how you’re perceived
How to navigate potential emotional triggers, and how to avoid major mistakes like over-sharing or losing your temper

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

138. How Getting Divorced Saved My Life

Tue, 21 Jan 2025 14:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea opens up about her personal journey and how getting divorced legitimately saved her life. She shares her experiences of being in an unhealthy marriage, the physical toll it took on her, and the turning point that led her to take control of her life. Andrea also discusses the mistakes she made during her divorce process, including choosing the wrong lawyer and rushing into decisions without proper counsel. Despite these challenges, Andrea highlights the importance of having the right support and taking action to improve your life after divorce.

In this episode, you'll learn:

The emotional and physical toll an unhealthy relationship can take, and the importance of recognizing when it's time to make a change
How to avoid common mistakes in the divorce process, such as rushing into decisions or hiring the wrong attorney
The power of taking small steps toward healing, understanding that it takes time but can ultimately lead to a healthier and happier life
The importance of quality time with your children post-divorce and focusing on what truly matters
Why finding the right legal representation and support system can make all the difference in navigating divorce

This episode is a raw, honest look at Andrea's experience and serves as a reminder that, though divorce is challenging, it CAN lead to personal growth and happiness.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

137. Can I Pause or Stop my Divorce Process?!

Fri, 10 Jan 2025 23:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we dive into the complex decision of whether to pause your divorce process and explore the possibility of reconciliation. We discuss why some couples might reconsider divorce, the emotional and practical aspects to consider before making a decision, and the importance of having real, lasting change before hitting pause. We also touch on the legal steps involved in pausing or halting the divorce process, including options like the reconciliation calendar, and the financial and emotional risks that come with this decision. This isn't easy friend - but we've got you covered.

In this episode you'll learn:

The reasons why some people file for divorce but later reconsider, and how to recognize if reconciliation is truly possible
What steps to take if you're considering pausing your divorce, including discussing it with your attorney and understanding the legal implications
How to distinguish between temporary emotional moments (like a spontaneous romantic night) and genuine, long-term changes that could save your marriage
The importance of being aware of the risks, both emotional and financial, that could arise when halting the divorce process
How working through these decisions with proper guidance, both legal and emotional, can help you make the best choice for your future

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

136. How Do I Know if it's Time to Get Divorced?

Fri, 03 Jan 2025 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Andrea and Morgan talk about the tough question of whether to stay or go in your marriage. They walk you through the simple but powerful TALK acronym to help you gain clarity and confidence as you make this big decision in your life. They cover how therapy can help you unpack what's going on, the importance of understanding your emotional needs, how to assess the fun and love in your relationship, and why knowledge is key to moving forward. These steps are designed to guide you through this challenging time and help you make the best decision for yourself and your family. You deserve happiness, and we're here to help you get there.

What you'll learn in this episode:

How therapy can help unpack the underlying issues in your marriage and provide clarity on whether to stay or go
The importance of assessing your emotional needs and understanding if they're being met in your relationship
How to evaluate the level of fun, love, and connection in your marriage, and what to do if those things are lacking
Why gaining knowledge about the divorce process and talking to professionals can empower you to make informed decisions
How following the simple TALK acronym can help guide you through the tough decision-making process and lead to a healthier, happier outcome for you and your family

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

135. When Your Kids Don't Want to Go To the Coparent's House (Divorce Tips)

Fri, 27 Dec 2024 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not To Suck at Divorce, we are talking about what so many divorced parents struggle with—kids who resist going to the other parent’s house. We talk about why this happens and offer actionable tips for managing these tough transitions. It’s completely normal for kids to feel conflicted, and in this episode, we break it down and share ways to make those transitions smoother.

We dig into the "EASE" acronym (you'll have to hit play to find out what this is if you don't know) to give you a simple framework for communicating with your child during these moments. We also talk about why setting boundaries is key and how to do it in a way that doesn’t make your child feel torn between parents.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to show empathy for your child's feelings
The importance of setting boundaries and maintaining a calm demeanor during difficult transitions
How to document issues related to child transitions, especially if they become an ongoing concern
How to communicate clearly with your co-parent, and when it’s necessary to seek legal advice if the issues persist

No doubt, this sucks. But you got this, and we got you!

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

134. Divorcing Over the Holidays Sucks. (Emotional Support)

Sat, 21 Dec 2024 15:00:00 -0500

In this episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, we dive into handling the tough emotions that can arise during the holiday season when you're going through a divorce. We know it’s not easy, and we’ve got your back!

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

Embrace the sadness – Don’t fight it. We talk about why feeling sad is totally normal and how pushing those feelings down will only make them linger longer.
Move your body – It doesn’t have to be anything intense, but a little walk can go a long way in helping clear your mind and improve your mood.
Shift your focus – Find a project, something to get your hands on, like a craft or home project, to take your mind off the stress and give you a sense of accomplishment.
Get out there – Even if it's just for a short time, saying yes to an invite and getting dressed can help break the isolation and give you a sense of normalcy.

So, if the holidays are feeling heavy or you’re just struggling to cope, listen in for some practical tips and support to make it through. We get it – divorce is a marathon, not a sprint, and we’ve got you every step of the way.

Links to the amazing products discussed in episodes:

Morgan’s Wreath Making YouTube Channel: (just kidding, but follow us on YouTube!)

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

133. Could You Save Time and Money with a Collaborative Divorce?

Wed, 11 Dec 2024 11:00:00 -0500

In today’s episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we dive deep into the collaborative divorce process with Lucia Levias, a family law attorney specializing in this approach. We discuss what collaborative divorce is, how it differs from traditional litigation, and whether it might be the right choice for your situation. Lucia shares the benefits of this process, including cost savings and a more peaceful resolution, while also addressing who is best suited for this approach and the potential pitfalls to watch out for.

In this episode, you'll learn:

The basics of collaborative divorce and how it works
How collaborative divorce can potentially save you money compared to traditional litigation
What professionals are involved in a collaborative divorce and how they support the process
When a collaborative divorce may or may not be right for you
How to approach your spouse about considering a collaborative divorce
The importance of being aligned with your spouse for this process to succeed
Real-life examples of how collaborative divorce can help resolve tough issues like spousal support and parenting plans

Lucia's website: https://duboislaw.net/

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

132. Handle Your Divorce Like a Boss Bitch

Fri, 29 Nov 2024 22:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we're joined by Sarah Armstrong, author of A Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce, to discuss the importance of compartmentalizing during the divorce process. Divorce is emotionally draining, and the ability to compartmentalize can help you navigate it more effectively—especially when emotions run SUPER high. Sarah shares her personal journey through divorce and how she learned to compartmentalize to keep her focus on what really mattered: her daughter, her career, and making the best decisions for the long term. And oh - she's the VP of global marketing operations, at Google...yep!

What you'll learn:

The importance of compartmentalizing during divorce and how it can help you make better decisions
How to manage emotional triggers and not let them dictate your actions
Practical steps for compartmentalizing, such as taking a breath and giving yourself time to cool down before reacting
The power of focusing on the long game and making decisions that are best for you and your kids
How Sarah used her compartmentalization skills to balance her career at Google, motherhood, and her personal life post-divorce

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the emotional rollercoaster of divorce, this episode will give you the tools to regain control and make decisions that serve YOU and your kids in the long run. Whether it's deciding when to show emotion or learning to take a step back during tense moments, Sarah’s insights are invaluable for anyone navigating the difficult journey of divorce and we're here for it - and we're here for you, too!

Connect with Sarah:

Sarah's website: https://www.gooddivorce.guide

Sarah's book: A Mom's Guide to a Good Divorce

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

131. (This One is Juicy) Divorce Confessions...Including Andrea's..

Fri, 15 Nov 2024 14:00:00 -0500

Yep, divorce confessions! We're talking real moments that often come up during divorce! We share anonymous confessions and are here to remind you that divorce can make you feel like you're losing your mind, but you're not alone.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why it’s totally normal to have wild, irrational thoughts during divorce (and you’re not crazy)
How to protect yourself legally when things get out of control
The importance of having a legal team you can trust, especially if criminal behavior is involved
Why you should absolutely NOT write your kids a letter explaining your divorce
Why giving into the urge to stalk or harass your ex can make everything worse
What to do when you’re overwhelmed and just want to pack your shit and leave

No matter how crazy things feel right now, you’re not losing it. You'll feel that in this episode!

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

130. How to Mentally Prepare for Your Divorce

Fri, 08 Nov 2024 16:50:00 -0500

Today we welcome Hilary Rosenberg back to the show to dive into the topic of mental preparation for divorce. I know, I know - but hear is out. The emotional complexities that come with ending a marriage are so hard, terrible, overwhelming and more. Let us take a load off and share our insights and practical strategies to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and strength!

In this episode, you'll learn:

The critical importance of allowing yourself to grieve the end of your marriage
Actionable steps to support your mental well-being during the divorce process
How to create a nurturing and positive environment for yourself as you transition to this new chapter

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

129. A New Divorce Tool to Help You with Parenting Schedules

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 23:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we're diving into the difficult and emotional topic of creating a custody schedule. Whether you’re just beginning the divorce process or in the thick of it, figuring out the best arrangement for your children while managing your own emotions can feel overwhelming. We’re here to help you break it down, with guidance from family law attorney and mediator Rebecca Parra. Rebecca brings a wealth of experience in creating custody plans and offers practical tools to help you make the best decisions for your family.

In this episode, we answer questions like:

What are the biggest challenges parents face when creating a custody plan?
How can the new Custody Navigator tool help visualize and plan your custody schedule?
What creative custody arrangements can be used for non-traditional work schedules?
How do factors like child support affect custody agreements?
What can you expect from mediation, and how can it help you come to a peaceful resolution?

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

128. Is Your Divorce Driving You to Drink Too Much?

Sat, 26 Oct 2024 13:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we explore the relationship between alcohol and divorce, diving into how exactly how drinking impacts your emotional state, decision-making, and overall well-being during one of life’s most challenging times. This episode IS NOT about giving up drinking completely; it’s about understanding when alcohol is helping or hurting as you navigate the divorce process.

In this episode, you'll learn:

-What actually happens in your brain when you drink to cope with stress?

-How do you know if you're drinking for the wrong reasons?

-What are the warning signs that you’re blowing past your emotional "stop signs"?

-What action steps can you take to keep your relationship with alcohol in check during a divorce?

Our guest, Colleen Kachmann, known as the "Hangover Whisperer," is a recovery-certified master coach and an expert in alcohol use awareness. She shares science-backed insights on the impact of alcohol on the body and mind during stressful periods and offers practical advice on mindful drinking.

Remember, this episode is here to guide you without judgment—only support. Whether you decide to drink less, stay mindful, or seek more support, we’re here to help you navigate this journey in the healthiest way possible.

Connect with Colleen:

Website: https://www.colleenkachmann.com/

Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer

Tiktok: @hangoverwhisperer

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

127. The C Word: Custody (The Unavoidable Part of Divorce)

Fri, 18 Oct 2024 15:00:00 -0500

In today’s episode, we’re tackling one of the toughest realities of divorce: custody. Custody arrangements can feel unnatural, overwhelming, and emotional. Deciding when and how much time you spend with your children after a divorce is never easy, but it’s an unavoidable part of the process. In this episode, we break down how to handle custody agreements, how to mentally prepare for time away from your kids, and what you need to know to navigate this difficult terrain.

We share personal insights and experiences, including the pain of feeling like you’re “having your cake and eating it too” and how to come to terms with these challenging decisions. Special guest Heather Quick, founder of the Florida Women’s Law Group, joins us to explain how custody laws have changed in Florida and what that means for parents.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why custody arrangements can feel so unnatural and how to start accepting this new reality.
How the new Florida custody law that assumes 50/50 time-sharing affects parents.
The importance of planning for holidays, summers, and unexpected changes in parenting plans.
How to prioritize your children's needs while managing your own emotions and mental health.
Why you need to think long-term when negotiating custody agreements.

We answer the questions:

What do you do when you just can’t agree to 50/50 custody?
How do you plan custody arrangements for holidays and summers?
What are some real-life examples of custody agreements that work (and don’t work)?
Is it really possible to modify a custody plan later?
How do you start emotionally preparing for time away from your kids?

Whether you're in the middle of a custody battle, preparing for it, or just want more insight into how to handle this part of divorce, this episode will give you the perspective and tools you need to navigate this tough chapter with more clarity. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you!

Connect with Heather:

Website: https://www.floridawomenslawgroup.com/

Tune in to learn how you can handle these difficult decisions without losing your sanity (or your dignity).

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

126. Is Your Spouse Stringing You Along? (Not Divorcing, but not "Happily Married")

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 05:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we dive into the difficult topic of feeling strung along in a marriage. Whether your spouse is coming and going as they please or avoiding making a decision about your future together, it can leave you feeling powerless. The hosts discuss how midlife changes like perimenopause and stress only make these dynamics more challenging, but the real focus is on how to take back your power by setting boundaries.

Morgan shares a real-life story about a client stuck in this frustrating limbo, and they explore how setting boundaries—though scary—can be the key to getting clarity in your relationship. With humor and compassion, they tackle why it’s so important to reclaim control, even if it means being labeled the "bad guy."

In this Episode, You’ll Learn:

How to recognize if you're being strung along in your marriage.
Why setting boundaries might be the healthiest move (even if it feels terrifying).
How midlife changes like perimenopause can impact your emotional and mental well-being.
What to do when your spouse seems to have one foot in and one foot out of the relationship.
Why sometimes being the bad guy is the best thing you can do for yourself.
How hair extensions may not save your marriage, but they sure can comfort you through tough times.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

125. Best Kept Divorce Secrets (Save Your Money and Sanity)

Fri, 04 Oct 2024 05:00:00 -0500

In today's episode, it's REAL TALK as we tackle some of the biggest hurdles in divorce—financials, legal strategy, and emotional resilience. We talk about staying calm under pressure, understanding your finances, and working effectively with your attorney.

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the flood of legal requests? Unsure whether you're working with the right attorney? Or maybe you're wondering what purchases to make before you file for divorce? These are just some of the questions we tackle in this episode.

Key Questions Explored:

Do you really have to respond to every demand from your ex immediately?
What simple action can help you reset when you're overwhelmed?
Why might a phone call or face-to-face meeting with your attorney be a smarter move than sending another email?
What should you do if you're unsure your attorney is the right fit for you?
Is there a smart time to make big purchases before your divorce?
How can you protect what you brought into the marriage, financially?
What red flags should you watch for during the divorce process?
Can understanding tax implications actually help you negotiate better terms?

Hit play for these practical tips and secrets to help you feel more confident and in control during your divorce.

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

124. Can You Even Afford to Get Divorced?!

Fri, 27 Sep 2024 05:00:00 -0500

In today's episode, guess what we’re tackling today? Yep—money.

Let’s be honest, talking finances is about as fun as doing taxes, but it’s one of the biggest reasons people hit pause on their divorce plans. Fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, but don’t worry, we’ve got you covered!

Joining us is Phil Weiss, a certified CPA, CFA, and RLP (that’s fancy speak for financial wizard 🧙‍♂️), and he’s here to break down the scary stuff. Phil’s personal story is a reminder of why understanding your finances is key, and he’ll guide us through the basics—from budget apps to aligning your money with your values (yes, that’s a thing).

We’re diving into how to plan financially before, during, and after your divorce, and why having the right attorney is as crucial as knowing how to log into your online bank account (don’t act like you haven’t forgotten!).

Tune in for some straight talk, practical tips, and a whole lot of empowerment as you tackle those financial fears head-on.

Schedule a free consultation with Phil HERE

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

123. The Hidden Dangers of Pretending You're Not Suffering in Your Marriage (Divorce Mental Prep)

Fri, 20 Sep 2024 05:00:00 -0500

In today's episode, we talk to therapist Hilary Rosenberg for a candid conversation about the challenges of recognizing and addressing deep-rooted issues in marriage. We explore the psychological effects of denial, the toll pretense takes on personal well-being and children, and why it’s essential to speak out about relationship struggles. Hilary shares insights on attachment styles and the importance of self-awareness, offers practical steps for navigating emotional turmoil and contemplating divorce with clarity and mental well-being. You got this, friend!

And if you're looking for the link to the magical eyelid lifters...you're 100% not alone...Andrea tried them after this episode was recorded and is obsessed.

Here's the amazon link: https://shorturl.at/pINWj

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Connect with Hilary:

Website: https://www.millenniumhope.com

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

122. Shocking Celebrity Divorce Stories and What YOU Can Learn From Them!

Fri, 13 Sep 2024 05:00:00 -0500

You are in for a juicy treat, friends! In today's episode, we bring on shareholder and family law attorney Kara Chrobak who specializes in high-net-worth divorce to talk about various infamous celebrity divorces! That's right- We touch on Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck, Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan, and Billy Ray Cyrus & Fire Rose. We explore legal intricacies such as the lack of prenups, intellectual property disputes, and contested spending, equitable vs. community property states, importance of identifying intangible assets, and understanding alimony. You DON'T want to miss this one.

Connect with Kara:

Linked in

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

121. DO NOT Fall for These Common Divorce Misconceptions!

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 05:00:00 -0500

We're baaaack! And today we're talking about common divorce myths and you know how we do- we're providing practical advice for navigating high-conflict separations. The episode addresses misconceptions about co-parenting, alimony, legal advantages for moms, and the impact of infidelity. We also examine the realistic limitations of court intervention in cases of emotional abuse and share personal success stories to inspire hope for post-divorce happiness.

Join our private Facebook community!

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

120. What a Dr Sees from Patients in Bad Marriages...(special re Air)

Sun, 11 Aug 2024 12:37:00 -0500

In this important re-air, we're here with Dr. Meaghan Boston Daly to talk about divorce and physical wellness. Dr. Meg is a concierge internal medicine doctor in Chicago and has quite the resume. We're so excited to be able to pick her beautiful brain.

**And if you're already contemplating divorce, go check out our crash course.

We'll discuss how being in an unhappy marriage really wears us down. Dr. Meg will tell us all about the subtle physical symptoms of emotional stress, Morgan will answer if your spouse can find out if you're on medication for your mental health during the divorce process, and Andrea will share about the connection between her body pain and being in a toxic marriage.

Where to find Dr. Meg: www.harper-health.com

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

119. What Most Divorce Attorneys Won't Tell You

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 19:38:00 -0500

Oh friends, you won't want to miss this episode. Morgan and Andrea are back this week (with an amazing re-air) with top Dallas family law attorney, Rebecca Armstong, find her here! talking about the things you SHOULD and SHOULDN'T do after you file for divorce.

First off, do you have the DCC???

If not, you 100% need this tool so you don't totally screw up in your divorce process. It will save you THOUSANDS of dollars!!

GET IT HERE!

Rebecca, Morgan and Andrea answer:

-What 3 things should you do after you file for divorce?

-What 3 things should you absolutely NOT do after you file for divorce?

-Do I need a therapist if I'm going through a divorce?

-Can being in therapy be used against me if I'm going through a divorce?

-Why should I go to an annual checkup at the doctor during a divorce?

-Can I record my spouse during an argument and use it during divorce proceedings?

-Will my spending habits be scrutinized during a divorce?

-What advice did Oprah give Andrea about her own divorce?

***************

Let's talk about co parenting, shall we??

Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your co parenting journey and we are HUGE fans of what they do.

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

118. Is Your Marriage Worth Saving??

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 17:03:00 -0500

How do you know if it's time to leave your marriage??

Is your marraige worth saving??

How the hell do you do that and who the hell is going to help you figure that out???

Ever wondered if you would benefit from Discernment Counseling? The founder of discernment counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty, joins us on the podcast to find out . Not only did Dr. Doherty develop a specific type of counseling for couples where one is considering divorce, he's also been on Oprah not just once, but twice! From Harpo to How Not To Suck At Divorce, Dr. Doherty is moving up in the world, that's for sure. (hahahhaa)

Discernment counseling is when one person is leaning OUT of the relationship and considering divorce and the other person is leaning IN and wants to try to make things work. This type of counseling gives people clarity and confidence based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in the marriage.

Dr. Doherty answers the questions:

1 What is discernment counseling?

2 Does discernment counseling solve problems in the marriage?

3 What are the differences between couples therapy and discernment counseling?

4 How long is discernment counseling?

5 What are the three paths of discernment counseling?

6 How do I know if we should try couples therapy or discernment counseling?

Stay until the end because Dr. Doherty blows the lid off traditional therapy and tells us he favorite type of wine (you won't believe his answer).

You can find Dr. Bill Doherty and search for a local discernment counselor at

http://www.discernmentcounseling.com

*Do you have our DCC?? If you're considering divorce, you should!!

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

And don't forget about Our Family Wizard. It's our #1 app for coparents who are looking to not suck at this process! Check them out here:

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Please hit the 5 stars in your podcast app, we need the external validation, but more importantly, it helps our podcast show up in searches so we can help those who are struggling through the divorce process.

Remember, you got this and we got you.

Slide into our dms, we love hearing from you! @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago @hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

117. How Do You Know When Your Marriage is Over? (special re air)

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 16:24:00 -0500

How do you know when your marriage is over?

How do you know if it's just a phase or if something that was once there will never really come back?

Did you "try hard enough" to "save your marraige" and what does that even mean???

At what point can you confident that divorce is the right decision for you???

What we have learned in our professional careers as a family law attorney and hosting this podcast is that sometimes hearing other people's stories help you relate more to your own. So today, we are re airing an episode from the second season of our show which features someone's personal story about when they knew their marriage was offically over.

****

And if you're ready to begin the divorce process, you NEED the DCC! It's our one of a kind, Divorce Crash Course. This course literally holds your hand through all of your major decisions. You'll avoid MAJOR mistakes and save up to THOUSANDS of dollars because you're getting advice from one the most sought after divorce attorneys in the country!! For $97, this course will change your life. And we mean that. Check it out here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

We welcome guest and retired husband, Mike Draper, to the show as he shares his story of when he knew it was over and what life after divorce is really like for a single dad. Check out Magic Mike, (I'm sorry), I mean Mortgage Mike on IG @mortgage_mike

As always we're keeping it real and keeping the levity because this process is tough enough. But you are never alone. You got this and we got you.

***

If you need support with coparenting- or maybe you just want some extra insight into what coparenting will look for you- look no further than Our Family Wizard. You can get specialized information that WE created with OFW just for our listeners here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

And don't worry, we are back with fresh episodes in just a few weeks!!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

116. I Was Married to the Wolf of Wall Street (How to Run Like Hell) with Dr Nadine Macalusco

Sat, 29 Jun 2024 00:08:00 -0500

If you haven't been living under a rock, you saw the movie: The Wolf of Wall Street.

Now you're going to hear about the real life experience of being married to infamous character in which the movie was written about.

So what was it like being married to the Wolf of Wall Street?? Wel, their eight-year marriage began as a fairytale, filled with romantic dinners, expensive gifts, and lavish parties. But once they were bonded, Jordan’s ‘mask’ began to slip and acts of infidelity, narcissistic abuse, insatiable greed, and uncontrollable drug addiction became Nadine’s living nightmare. Nadine naively believed that their connection was real, and that her love could save him, so she remained trauma-bonded until the pain of their relationship became too much to bear. It would be decades before she realized her story resembled thousands of other women’s relational experiences. At the age of 30, Dr Nadine, or Dr Nae as she's often referred, packed up her curtains and kids and relocated to Los Angeles. She began a transformative process of intensive therapy and deep self-reflection, which required facing her pain, admitting, and owning her mistakes, and reconnecting with the authentic self she’d lost due to Jordan’s abuse. Through her own healing, a passion for helping others was born. She returned to school at 39 to become a psychotherapist, and ten years later, graduated with a PhD in Counseling and Somatic Psychology.

You’re also going to hear find out the hell can you do so that you're not carrying around this weight and this storm cloud for the rest of your life.

To learn more about how YOU can work directly with Dr Nae (and we know you want to), check her out here: https://drnae.com/about-dr-nadine-macaluso/#

AND, grab her book, Run Like Hell here: https://drnae.com/run-like-hell-book/

So tune in as we chat with Dr. Nadine Macaluso, a clinical expert and ex-wife of the real-life Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort.

If you're in need of coparenting support- look no further than Our Family Wizard. We LOVE them. Head here for more information: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

And finally, if Dr Nae's story sound at all like yours...you NEED the Divorce Crash Course, get it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

115. How to Get the Right Divorce Support

Fri, 21 Jun 2024 15:18:00 -0500

Okay, let’s face it- if you’re listening to this podcast you know that (& if you’re a new listener you will soon find out) community, and support during divorce, is SO IMPORTANT.

When you can't decide whether you need to scream in your car/bathroom/ or random aisle at Target, you need to know who you can turn to who will comfort you, make you laugh, and remind you that this horrible phase that you're in will not be your forever.

Today on the show we’re talking to our good friend, and dad of three: Rob Roseman. Rob is also the founder of WTF Divorce. We adore Rob and on this episode he shares his journey of realizing the significance of finding support through online communities after going through a divorce of his own.

In this episode, we talk:

-Challenges of isolation

-Benefits of relatable humor

-Critical advice for engaging with credentialed professionals

-Rob's book "WTF Divorce" and all of the joy it can bring to your life!! Check out the book here: amazon link!

Follow Rob on IG- 139K already do!! http://www.instagram.com/wtfdivorce

Listen to this episode to learn how community helps make a difficult process more bearable and even bring some much-needed laughter into your life!

If you're starting your divorce process, you NEED the DCC, check that out here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your coparenting journey! Visit our special landing page for them to learn more about why are one of the MUST HAVES for your divorce. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

114. What You Must Do Before You Leave Your Abusive Marriage...

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 13:02:00 -0500

We know - it sounds pretty daunting and impossible. This episode is full of actionable steps for you to take.

In this episode, we chat again with forensic psychotherapist guest, Micaela Van Dine https://mvdpsychotherapy.com/, about how to prepare to leave your abusive marriage.

You're going to hear about:

-Setting a timeline for leaving (we know- sounds impossible)

-Understanding your/your spouse's financial situation

-Securing sentimental belongings

-Safely exiting the marriage

-Making sure you're doing things "by the law" in your state

-Be SUPER mindful of the kids

Our Divorce Crash Course was help you out here- BIG TIME- please, go check it out. It's $97 and will give you an actionable plan that will help save THOUSANDS and avoid major mistakes. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Friends, you can reach out to Micaela directly on her website if you want her consulting advice.

As always it’s recommended to consult with legal professionals and therapists specific to the listener's jurisdiction to ensure appropriate and personalized advice.

If you need support in finding someone in your area, shoot us over an email at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your coparenting journey. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Soberlink is here for you if you're concerned about alcohol usage during parenting time. Go to: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck to get $50 off your device.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

113. High Conflict Divorce Survival Guide

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 23:30:00 -0500

This episode is your high conflict divorce survival guide.

We are going to cover the steps you should take to help maintain your sanity and stamina needed to survive high conflict divorce process.

On this episode, we talk with forensic psychotherapist, Micaela Van Dine, https://mvdpsychotherapy.com , who shares her professional insights and personal experiences related to high-conflict divorces in the courtroom.

Do you have our Divorce Crash Course?? If you are navigating a high conflict divorce, this crash course will potentially help you save THOUSANDS of dollars. Find it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

As ALWAYS, this episode offers several action steps and practical advice, like:

-Maintaining silence amid provocation

-Building a support system

-Choosing the right legal and mental health professionals to guide you through the difficult process

One of the most helpful tools available to you is Our Family Wizard. Used in many high conflict cases, Our Family Wizard is our top recommendation for organizing communication between coparents. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

And don't forget about Soberlink! Soberlink to our go-to tool for those who suspect an alcohol issue during parenting times. Visit: http://www.soberlink.com/not to receive $50 off your device.

Hit play & feel a little less alone!

Please reach out to us should you want more support!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

112. Mediation Prep That Will be Crucial to Your Case

Fri, 24 May 2024 18:02:00 -0500

Listen to this episode BEFORE you go into mediation.

It IS possible to have a positive outcome from mediation, even if you feel like your soon to be ex spouse agree on NOTHING.

And before we get into the nitty gritty: Do you have our Divorce Crash Course?

It literally holds your hand through ALL major divorce decisions!

Get it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Here are 3 EXPERT tips, (from a mediator herself- Joy Rosenthal-https://www.joyrosenthal.com/), to help you reframe your mind before entering mediation:

1) You don't have to RESPECT your soon to be ex, but you still need to have some DIGNITY for them. In other words, treat them like a human who also has wants and needs (even if their wants and needs are questionable and they're acting like a total tool)

2)Start to think of the problem as something that's outside of you and your soon to be ex. Meaning, the issue is "who gets the kids this Christmas?" or "who gets the lake house?" or "who's going to get the collection of ketchup bottles?" (yes, that was an actual issue for one of Morgan's cases). The issue is not about YOU, and it's not about you soon to be ex, it's simply a "problem" that needs to be "solved".

3)Think about why you want what you say you want. This one is kinda about checking ego, and also just gaining some perspective on the situation.

It's important to keep in mind that everyone loses something in a divorce. You're not gonna come of this thing with EVERYTHING you want, it just doesn't work like that.

In fact, the old divorce joke goes, "if both parties are unhappy and feel they got cheated, then the attorneys did their job" I (Andrea) HATE that joke and it makes me want to scream, but that's the way it goes!

And remember, mediation, divorce- all of this mess-is just going to be ONE event that happened in your life. It's not your life, you have a lot more life to live when this is all behind you.

Our Family Wizard is here to help you though your coparenting journey. Learn more about them here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

111. What to Consider About the Summer (Divorce Tips!)

Sat, 18 May 2024 14:25:00 -0500

Summer’s almost here folks, and you know what that means...camps, vacations..and your divorce, oh my!

Not to mention: the DREADED parenting agreements. One of Andrea’s least favorite topics but something we HAVE to talk about. We talk about the significance of communication and flexibility in establishing summer parenting schedules, and the legal implications of these changes. We also dive into the complexities of co-parenting during summer, including summer camps, child support, and travel logistics.

In this episode you’ll learn:

*The challenges of balancing work and children's needs during the summer, especially for working and single parents

*Suggestions for getting help with childcare during the summer

*The importance of creativity and flexibility

*Examples of creative modifications to summer parenting schedules and the importance of communication between parents

*Practical approaches to managing summer activities, like summer camps, co-parenting logistics, and managing expectation

*Strategies for initiating conversations with co-parents about travel plans and managing summer camp choices.

And friend that barely scratches this surface in this jam packed mini episode!

Don't forget to check out the DCC, honey, you need this! : https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

And, go sign up for Our Family Wizard's free newsletter! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

And finally, join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

110: The Parenting Agreement (Biggest Divorce Mistakes) With Dr Malissa Tigges - special re air

Mon, 13 May 2024 21:33:00 -0500

Alright, here's one of Andrea's least favorite topics...but probably the most important: the parenting agreement. Below are the show notes for a special re air episode, all about the parenitng agreement.

Remember, our Divorce Crash Course holds your hand through ALL of the important decisions you make during your divorce process. Grab you DCC, right here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course for only $97, you can save up to THOUSANDS and avoid making MAJOR mistakes. The cost of our crash course includes 5 short videos, which are wildly informative and entertaining (if we do say so ourselves) AND includes a printable guidebook, that has mental health break exercises built in!

***********

We're getting into some real, REAL stuff in this episode. This is one of the biggest concerns our listeners have so we wanted to dedicate an entire episode to how to put your kids first in your parenting agreement.

Today, we have therapist Dr. Malissa Tigges with us to talk about how to create a parenting agreement that prioritizes the welfare of your kids. Dr. Tigges is a licensed clinical and forensics psychologist with over 10 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and an evaluator. She helps people make the best decisions possible when developing their parenting agreements.

Dr. Tigges, Morgan and Andrea answer:

What do divorcing couples need to understand when putting together their parenting agreement?

How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children.

The biggest mistake divorcing couples make when creating their parenting agreement.

What is the main difference of a parenting plan that involves a younger child vs. a teenager?

Can you modify a parenting agreement?

Who should you consult with to ensure your parenting agreement is the best for your child?

Should you open the parenting agreement email after having a few drinks?

What is co-parenting therapy and is it necessary?

What do you do when your rights are being violated during the divorce process when you're drafting the parenting agreement?

What's the best schedule for co-parenting? 50/50? Week on, week off? Every other weekend? The answer may upset you, but it's important to understand.

Is there wiggle room in a parenting agreement if there's a special trip or long weekend planned?

Dr. Tigges also shares her absolute "must-dos".

Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges:

@drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook

Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out!

Also- Our Family Wizard is here to help make your coparenting journey a whole lot easier. To learn more about them and to get access to an article that we cowrote, visit them at: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

109. Can You Record Your Ex?? (Divorce Questions)

Fri, 03 May 2024 12:32:00 -0500

Today’s episode is about something we get asked about A LOT - recording your ex.

The truth of the matter is there are some major things you MUST think about before hitting that record button, and yes, EVEN if your attorney suggests it. However, there is a time & a place for capturing what you need to help your divorce proceeding.

We answer:

What legally admissible means and how it applies to you

When we would recommend you recording your ex
What does it mean in your state? Is it legal? And what does it mean?
When would it be appropriate to record and when would it not be?

And, why we LOVE Ring doorbells (not sponsored...yet..hit us up, Ring!)

This episode is not only insightful but a resource for you that you may need at some point & we want to equip you with the information you need.

And remember, Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your coparenting journey. To learn more about Our Family Wizard, please go check them out, you'll also get access to a special (and funny) article we co wrote with them!! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Do you have the Divorce Crash Course??? It's going to help you- BIG TIME.

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

You've got this, friends, and we've got you!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

108. If You're Suffocating in Your Marriage and Think You Want a Divorce

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 19:22:00 -0500

Friend, let’s be real, we know that you're tired of pretending that everything is okay.

We know that your gut is telling you that your marriage is not going to work.

So, now what???

If you have EVER wondered:

"What do I do if I think I want a divorce?" - this episode is for you.

If you're considering divorce but don't know where to begin, this episode is for you.

If you're just miserable in your marriage, but feel stuck, this episode is for you.

Don't forget: The DCC is here to help you save up to THOUSANDS on your divorce AND help you avoid making MAJOR mistakes. Get The Divorce Crash Course HERE!

Join our private community: Here!

And remember, Our Family Wizard is here to help you make coparenting easier. Believe us, you want to check them out: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

This podcast was designed to give you information, entertainment and empathy as you embark on the divorce process.

We know that divorce is hard. We know that it's a long and draining process. We also know that life is so much better on the other side.

Don't give up. Everyone deserves to be happy.

You've got this and we've got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

107. What the Best Divorce Attorneys Want you to Know

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 13:18:00 -0500

With divorce, there are things that you might feel you have zero control over, right?

Maybe you’ve thought before, “My attorney's not fighting me.”

OR maybe you're frustrated that your attorney's bills are insanely high and you wish there was SOMETHING you could do so save money.

Friend: I hope you listen to this episode with an open mind because we are going to give you very concrete steps that you can take to help your attorney help YOU so that you can make the most out of your attorney.

And, if you haven't grabbed our DCC yet, go get it here. DCC = Divorce Crash Course

Divorce Crash Course

In today’s episode, we cover-

-Saving money

-Getting your attorney to fight for you

-Supplying your attorney with the necessary information to really get the best outcome for your case

-Why it’s important to pay your bill on time

-Why it’s important to stick to the FACTS and leave your emotions out of it

-A clear example of what it looks like to HELP your attorney HELP you

Andrea asks some JUICY questions to Morgan, that you don’t want to miss!

And remember, Soberlink is here to help you if you're concerned about a coparent's alcohol use. Save $50 off your device and learn more here: https://www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Join our private community, we'd love to have! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

106. Top Divorce Questions

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 12:52:00 -0500

In today’s episode, boooooy did we shed some light on the top asked questions when navigating a divorce. From the quirky laws about eavesdropping, (did you know in Illinois recording someone on the phone without consent is a no-go but in public, it’s fair game?), to seeking multiple opinions like you would for a tricky medical condition – this episode has it all.

And here's your place to grab access to the DCC: The Divorce Crash Course, yes, you need this! :The Divorce Crash Course

And hey, for those wondering about GALs and child representatives in custody battles, we've got the lowdown right here.

In this episode we answer:

HOW to tell your spouse you want a divorce (and the big reason why we suggest NOT doing it on a weekend)
What to do when you feel like your spouse has been hiding finances and is it worth it to continue digging?
Trial separations before filing! Doing the right thing or putting off the inevitable?
GAL - what it is and the role that it serves

How do you know if a GAL is going to help or hurt your case? When do you advocate that you want one? Do you say “I want one”, or is it something that you wait for a judge to slap on to your case?
Difference between GAL child rep - How would you know when you need one and not the other?
Who does a GAL speak to and who does a GAL not speak to? And is a GAL the same thing as a custody evaluator? Are they going to come into my home and see what my home looks like?
What does parental alienation actually mean?
What happens if your ex records your conversations? Are they allowed to do this?
How late is too late is too switch attorneys?
Experience requesting an order from the judge

I promise we’re in your corner and here for you and remember, you’ve got this and we’ve got you!

**And remember, if alcohol use is a concern with safe parenting time, then Soberlink is a tool you need in your toolbox. Learn more and save $50 off your device here: https://www.soberlink.com/notsuck ***

To join our private community, head here: The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

105. The Biggest Divorce Mistakes (that we'll help you AVOID)

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 12:56:00 -0500

Oooooh friend - today you are in for an absolute TREAT. We (Andrea & Morgan) uncover the 5 BIGGEST MISTAKES that we see happening when it comes to getting divorced.

AND, to put the cherry on top, you can get even more access to these topics and so much more "hands on help" with: The Divorce Crash Course.

Literally - this will be your divorce playbook. You want this crash course, you need this crash course. And, like we said in the show, we priced this guide at a low pricepoint so it's accessable to everyone. Most divorce "courses" are hundreds of dollars and take HOURS to complete. Our crash course is different.

We also made sure that your privacy is protected. The credit card charge shows up as "DCC150", so nothing about divorce is mentioned.

There's also an Afterpay option, so you can pay in installments.

And if you're on the fence about getting divorced: This course will help you.

Okay, here's the link: ➡️ https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course ⬅️

In this episode, we cover some of the goods inside of the The Divorce Crash Course including:

Hiring a divorce attorney

Kids and the mistakes that people make when it comes to kids

If you should sell your house

Communication with your ex (Andrea’s personal fav)

How to NOT rush through signing those important documents

*************

And if you're concered about your coparent's alcohol use, Soberlink can help: https://www.soberlink.com/notsuck.

This link will give you more information and a coupon for $50 off your device.

And please join our private community for more support! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

104. How to Get Your Divorce Judge ➡️ "On Your Side" ⬅️ With Retired Los Angeles Judge, Dianna Gould-Saltman

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 13:14:00 -0500

In today’s episode, we have a very first for this podcast & an incredibly special guest - Retired Los Angeles Judge Dianna Gould-Saltman. That’s right - a VERY recently retired divorce judge! (who BTW, has divorced several celebrity couples)

Let's face it- nobody wants to go to court. It’s just not a fun experience. If you're navigating the divorce process, going before the judge is likely a step that you are trying to avoid for several reasons. But for one reason or another, it happens for a lot of divorcing couples.

So, what do you do you to get the judge "on your side"???

In this episode you’ll learn:

* An easy thing you can do to help yourself get in the right headspace for court

* What do to and not to do when you’re actually in front of the judge in court

* Does it matter if the judge *knows* the attorney who’s representing you or your spouse

* What are some mistakes that Judge Dianna saw in her courtroom over and over

*What's a "private divorce"??

If you’re going through this nasty thing called divorce and ready to learn how to prepare for court in the eyes of a retired divorce judge…this epiosode is for YOU.

AND! If you're wanting to hire Judge Dianna Gould- Saltman as your mediator or your private judge...guess what? You can do that! Find her here: https://signatureresolution.com/neutral-CPT/hon-dianna-gould-saltman-ret/

And friends, if your case is going into court then you likely need some more emotional support. Look no futher than our private community. You can find it right here: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

**********

Do you know about Our Family Wizard?? Because if not, you really need to go sign up for their newsletter. Our Family Wizard makes coparenting A LOT easier by helping you organize your calenders, expenses, AND monitor communications : and best part, it's looked upon HIGHLY in the courts as a way to help families do divorce better. To learn more, go to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

103. When the Abuse Gets Worse During the Divorce

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 05:00:00 -0500

In today’s episode, as crappy as it is - we talk about when the abuse gets worse during divorce. It’s not a fun topic, but we would be doing you a disservice if we didn’t talk about it.

We bring in Katharine Rupp, a family law attorney based in California, who shares insights on the legal process of divorce, the significance of being organized and prepared for legal battles, and the usefulness of tools like Our Family Wizard app (hollaaa!) in co-parenting and divorce documentation.

Expect to hear strategies for dealing with emotional abuse and conflict, learn the importance of communication and documentation in divorce proceedings, and get practical advice for navigating the divorce process more effectively - as per usual!

Main Takeaways:

*Importance of Our Family Wizard - (OFW) is a valuable tool for organizing divorce-related information in one platform

*Responding to Attacks (so hard- but DON'T attack back)

*Avoid Escalation and Emotional Response (again, so hard)

*Documenting and Communicating

*Seek Support and Guidance

If you want some more information on how to respond to your POS ex, (hee hee) head here:

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Ask your attorney if Our Family Wizard would be right for your case. In our opinion, it can only help give you the boundaries you deserve.

Join our private community for more support. http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

102. Listen to This Episode BEFORE You Hire a Divorce Attorney! with Sarah Jacobs and Jamie Berger

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 05:00:00 -0500

Friends. Listen up. You need to make sure that your divorce attorney is going to GUIDE you through the long, winding road that is divorce.

Take a listen to the dynamic duo, Sarah Jacobs and Jamie Berger, family law attorneys and owners of Jacobs/Berger LLC, located in Morristown, New Jersey. Their mission is making the divorce process less nerve-wracking by focusing on the human side, rather than getting caught up in legal battles. Isn’t that what we all want?! (Yes, it is..)

Sarah and Jamie express why it's so importatnt to find a relatable attorney who communicates well, knows your goals, and speaks your language.

Episode highlights:

*Jacobs and Bergers’ approach to making divorce less stressful

*The concept of redefining the family through non-aggressive strategies

*The importance of a divorce attorney understanding and addressing your needs and goals

*The necessity for attorneys to be relatable and communicative

*Positive outlook on divorce as a new beginning

*Being a divorce "tour guide"

*A Real Housewives of New Jersey divorce story....(this sh$t is GOOD)

If you are in the NJ area and looking for representation- reach out to Sarah & Jamie.

Here's the site again : http://www.jacobsberger.com

Aaaaaannnndddd, ya'll - you KNOW you want some glowing skin, who doesn't?? Andrea and Morgan are LOVING their results from Dermamade, and we know that you will, too. This skincare line is so effective and not super $$$. For a limited time, you can save 50% off (which is INSANE) with code AMY50. Head to http://www.dermamade.com

And don't forget: Our Family Wizard is here to help make coparenting easier. And if you want some tips on how to communicate in a more effective way that won't make you want to pull out your hair extentions...go to http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck - pop in your email address and you'll get an article from US that maps out a plan for you!

Join our private community: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

We love you, we're here for you, you can do this.

Go get yourself a good attorney.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

101. Getting Your Head in the Right Place for Divorce with Dr Ashley Southard

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 06:00:00 -0500

Okay, real talk. Getting your head straight for divorce is NECESSARY.

It’s crucial to seek the proper legal and emotional help when going through a divorce. In this episode, we chat with Dr. Ashley Southard and she has you covered! Straight from a licensed marriage and family therapist, you’ll learn in this episode:

* Professional guidance during divorce

* Defining worst and best-case scenarios

* Managing emotions during divorce

* Focusing on children, career, and supportive relationships

* Addressing the struggle of over-functioning individuals to seek help or delegate responsibilities

* Importance of seeking therapy before starting the divorce process

* Over-functioning women in unfulfilling relationships

* Identifying emotional and practical needs during challenging times

This episode is for you if you’re ready and determined to get your head on straight when it comes to divorce! (Trust us, you can do this!)

You can find Dr Ashley on her viral IG account: http://www.instagram.com/drashleysouthard

And friends, remember, Our Family Wizard is here to help with you all of your coparenting issues. Go read our co written article! It's funny and really helpful! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

And keeping with the real talk. Ya'll. Your skin takes a BEATING when you're stressed, and that just plain SUCKS. However, we have a way to help you! Dr Amy Brodsky developed an amazing line of EFFECTIVE skincare- and guess what?? She's giving our listeners 50% off for a limited time. Take a sec right now and go check out Dermamade. Use code AMY50 at checkout. http://www.dermamade.com

(Morgan loves the anti aging set and Andrea is digging the Vitamin C serum, as well as the Retinol serum. )

We're here for you. Join our private community http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Please DM us with any questions!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

100. What to do BEFORE You File for Divorce!!

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 06:00:00 -0500

Okay, let's hash out everything you need to do BEFORE you file for divorce, sounds like fun, huh?

Listen, let us start by saying: mental preparation is crucial and there is NO perfect time for divorce, and every case is different!

And before we forget, go join our private communities:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadytodivorce

This episode helps you get your head straight if you’re thinking about divorce.

You’re going to hear:

*The Importance of timing in divorce decisions

*Consideration of length of marriage for potential alimony or maintenance

*Permanent support after around 20 years of marriage

*Setting up for success in the next chapter of life after divorce

*Tools for Organizing Expenses and Communication During Divorce

*Impact of job loss or significant career advancement on divorce filing and financial implications

*Retirement and its impact on support and financial division in divorces later in life

*Discussion of prenups, children's ages, length of marriage, employment, and retirement for awareness and discussion with an attorney

*Confidential ways to consult a divorce lawyer, such as through advance consultation fees or using a separate credit card

*Emotional Support During the Divorce Process

*Encouragement to seek professional advice from a divorce attorney to address individual concerns

This episode is for you if you are ready to get your head on straight if you are considering or currently navigating the complexities of divorce and seeking expert advice, support, and camaraderie during this challenging time.

And remember: Soberlink is THE tool you need if you suspect alcohol is going to be an issue with safe parenting time. Get $50 off your device by visiting: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. To their FREE newsletter AND an article that we cowrote to help you not suck at communicating with your ex, visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

99. Will the Kids be Okay If We Get Divorced?

Fri, 23 Feb 2024 13:34:00 -0500

Andrea and Morgan answer the question that you’re probably wondering if you’re going through (or about to go through) a divorce: Will the kids be okay?!

*******

To get FREE tips on coparenting communication (believe us, you'll want this) head to:

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck - pop in your email and you'll get access to BONUS tips, direct from Andrea & Morgan.

We get real about the impact of divorce on children and invite: Meg, and sisters Eden & Larissa on the show. They share their personal stories of coming from divorced households, navigating blended families, and the challenges of balancing different parenting styles.

This episode gives you insight if you’re contemplating divorce or worried about the effects on your kids.

Expect to hear:

*Tips on communicating with challenging co-parents and using "Our Family Wizard" for organized co-parenting, including expenses and messaging.

* The importance of prioritizing the well-being of the children involved and creating a supportive environment for them.

* The challenges and misconceptions of parenting during and after a divorce

** The impact on children and the importance of parental happiness for the well-being of children

***The answer you all want to hear: Will the kids be okay? Answer might suprise you.

**and BONUS !!! What can you do to give your skin that glow you had before your life turned upside down!! (hint: it's Morgan's obsession)

Get up to 50% off (which is INSANE!) If you go to www.dermamade.com and enter in code: AMY50

This episode is filled with real stories, hope, and honesty to help answer your question: are your kids going to be okay?

You can do this. We've got you.

Join our private community:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

We'll see ya next week.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

98. Sending Your Ex to Jail (Contempt of Court)- With Divorce Attorney, James Quigley

Fri, 16 Feb 2024 06:00:00 -0500

In this episode: Andrea, Morgan, and James Quigley dive into the world of divorce and family law, AND contempt of court. Listen to get some strategies for dealing with violations of court orders, and the emotional toll of navigating divorce.

* Examples of non-willful violations of court orders and the importance of making reasonable efforts to comply

* Situations where pursuing contempt charges for financial issues in divorce cases may be warranted, and the process of filing a petition for the court to consider contempt charges

* Assessing the teamwork of law firms, understanding lawyer agreements, and maintaining credibility with the court

* Communication strategies with challenging co-parents, using co-parenting apps, and documenting interactions.

* Acknowledgment of the emotional toll of divorce, abuse, and gaslighting, and the recommendation to seek mental health support.

* Stressing the importance of addressing emotional issues with support, as lawyers are not therapists.

This conversation is filled with real-life anecdotes, practical advice, and a touch of humor, all aimed at providing support and guidance for those going through a divorce. Join us as we tackle these complex issues and share resources, all while navigating the intricacies of divorce with honesty and levity.

To find James Quigley online, head to: https://www.beermannlaw.com/team/james-m-quigley/

and follow the guy on IG, it'll make his day. https://www.instagram.com/quigleyondivorce/

And remember:

If you're concerned about your children's safety during your co parent's parenting time becuase of alcohol, Soberlink is here to help. To learn more visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck and get $50 off your device.

Our Family Wizard is here to my coparenting EASIER, how awesome is that??!! To get FREE access to an article that we co wrote with the Our Family Wizard team that gives action steps on how you can better communicate with you ex, go to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

We have private communities, don't forget!! Join us. We're helpful and, like, way fun:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadytodivorce

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

97. What You Need to Know about Custody Arrangements (Expert Divorce Tips!)

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 06:00:00 -0500

In this episode, Andrea and Morgan give advice on creating parenting schedules and what you need to keep in mind to ensure the best interests of the children are at the forefront.

We dive into some of the most common custody issues:

*50/50 arrangment

*right of first refusal

*asking for more than 50% custody

*difference between custodial custody and parenting time

*best parenting time schedules for younger kids

*more creative parenting time schedules

And speaking of kids, Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier! And trust us, you want Our Family Wizard as a tool in your divorce toolbox. Head to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to get access to a FREE article that we co-wrote with Our Family Wizard on how to best communicate with a challenging ex spouse!

And remember, our private community is here to support you. Join us at: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And if you have not yet filed for divorce and would prefer to listen to our episodes privately, you can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce. Our entire library of episodes can be listened to discreetly for $4.99 a month.

See you next week, friends!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

96. You've Been Served with Divorce. Now What??? (The First Steps)

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 06:00:00 -0500

In today’s episode, Andrea and Morgan discuss what happens AFTER you’ve been served with a petition for divorce…aka “dissolution of marriage”.

So if you’ve wondered:

How do I choose the right 🤷🏻‍♀️divorce attorney?

How do I manage 🤦🏼‍♂️ divorce stress?

Who can help me understand 🙅🏻‍♀️ divorce documents?

Then this episode is for YOU.

You deserve the right guidance and mindset is CRUCIAL.

Divorce is a journey that can be navigated with resilience and grace, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you practical advice, and a much-needed dose of humor.

**********

If alcohol is an issue and you’re concerned about your kids’ safety during your co-parent's parenting time, please check out Soberlink. http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Vist the link to get $50 off your device.

And if you want more guidance and support in regards to co-parenting, head over to Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard is here to make co-parenting EASIER. Click on this → link ← to get free access to communication tips that will save you time, money, and a big fat headache!

Please visit our private communities for more.

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce

And follow us on IG!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

95. Choosing to Heal from Your Divorce (Real Life Divorce Story). With Monica Leigh

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 06:00:00 -0500

You gotta hear this episode.

The end of Moncia's marriage involved betrayal, alcohol abuse, and porn addiction. What's fascinating about her experience is not what she went through, but how she CHOSE to heal.

When Monica and her now ex husband entered couples therapy, they also did individual therapy, and Monica join a support group. In that support group, she found perspective and reflection. With that, she was able to see that there was a role that SHE PLAYED in the breakdown of the marriage. Now, it's not to say that anything that Monica did or didn't do caused her husband to make his choices. Rather, Monica was able to see that some of her behavior came from a strong desire to control a situation, what wasn't helping anything.

Once she was able to let go and accept her husband for who he was, everthing changed.

Yes, their divorce process began, but so did Monica's beautiful healing process.

Fast forward to the present day: Monica is sharing her dinner table with her exhusband, their children, AND her new boyfriend. You can see for yourself on her IG: https://www.instagram.com/monicaleighblog/

She now hosts her own podcast: Choosing to Heal with Monica Leigh

She also runs her own support community for other women looking to heal! Check it out!

https://monicaleighblog.com/community

This episode should give you hope and inspiration. Please visit our private communities for more.

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce

And follow us on IG!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

94. A Different Way to Heal from Trauma. With Dr Melissa Kalt

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 06:00:00 -0500

if you are not quite ready for divorce and want to listen to this episode without downloading it to your device, you are welcome to subscribe to our Patreon channel, where, for $4.99 a month, you can access our entire library of episodes

Trauma makes a home in our bodies. Recent studies have shown that traditional talk therapy might not be enough to help people recover from trauma.

(eye roll) Great. So, now what??

This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce features Dr Melissa Kalt. Dr Melissa is a triple board certified physician turned trauma healer. Dr Melissa offers group programs and 1:1 services for people wanting to heal from their trauma. She even met with Andrea in December. Be sure to listen to Andrea's experience and how Dr Melissa was able to pinpoint her pain and help her release it.

Something to note is that the trauma lives in our bodies because of the story we told ourselves about the traumatic event, not so much the event itself....food for thought.

(Poor Morgan found this topic to get a little too "woo woo" for her at times...what do you think??)

The takeaway here is that if you are suffering, you deserve not to suffer. If trauma healing can help you, why wouldn't you try it?

You can access Dr Melissa's FREE 5-part masterclass, "Hack the Confidence Rollercoaster" at confidencerollercoaster.com Join Antifragile Rebels at antifragilerebels.com **Remember to use coupon code NOTSUCK50 for 50% off each month! Learn more on her website at melissakaltmd.com You can also find Dr Melissa at the below sites:

https://www.quora.com/profile/Dr-Melissa-Kalt-MD

https://antifragilenarcissistsurvivorswithdrmelissa.quora.com/

https://medium.com/@MelissaKalt

https://www.facebook.com/melissakaltmd/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-kalt-md/

https://www.pinterest.com/melissakaltmd/

https://twitter.com/melissakaltmd

https://www.instagram.com/melissakaltmd/

And remember, our private FB community is here to support you. Please join!

Join FB Group Here

You can do this, friends. It won't be easy, but we'll help you through it.

You've got this. And we've got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

93. When You're Stuck Living with Your Ex

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 06:00:00 -0500

For many people getting divorced, it's inevitable that you're going to be stuck for a certain period of time, living with your ex. And yes, that's going to suck.

Luckily, we have some insight on the situation that we want to share with you. This episode is a re air from a few seasons ago. We are coming to you with a FRESH, BRAND NEW episode next week!

So take a listen to "When You're Stuck Living with Your Ex" to get your questions answered.

Questions like:

Can I date other people before I get divorced?

Can I spend money on myself and going out if I'm still living with my ex?

How will my ex and I figure out kid time?

How do I make sure my ex and I are splitting household chores evenly?

And friends, we know that divorce is hard. We know it's long and draining. We are here to help guide you, offer you information, entertainment, and empathy and ultimately, help you not SUCK at getting divorced.

Please rate and reivew our show!!

And message us on social, we would love to hear from you!!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

And join our private communities!

https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce - for those needing to listen to our private library

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity - for those looking for community and a place to ask quesitons!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

92. How to Survive the Holidays When You're Miserable (6 Pro Tips from your Divorce Besties)

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 16:11:00 -0500

This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponspored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at http://www.betterhelp.com/notsuck and get on your way to being your best self.

We want to help you survive the next few weeks. The holiday season is a stressful time, in the BEST of situations. But if you're also navigating a divorce or considering divorce, then you're managing and extra set of stress and unhappiness that's likely making the next few weeks a really tough time.

Here's how we can help. Here are 6 pro tips from Morgan and Andrea. You ready for them? Let's go!

Set some realistic expectations. Surprises make for more unhappiness.
Keep busy.
Prep your family on how to handle themselves around you (tell Aunt Beatrice to not ask you questions) and possibly your ex.
Watch the cheesy holiday movies, we're talking the REALLY cheesy ones, Hallmark channel style. Nothing bad happens in these movies and it makes for great background noise
Just say no to parties you don't want to attend. Nobody really cares.
Move your body. It's so damn important. If it's really cold where you live, walk around the mall, or even around a Target.

And please, join our private communites for extra support!

Here are the links:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And if you need to listen to our episodes discreetly (for those of you who aren't ready to file for divorce and don't want this show popping up on your subscription list)

https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce

FYI: it’s a private community that does have a small fee. $4.99 a month to get all of the episodes discreetly. Ideal for if you don’t want your spouse seeing that you’re listening to the show.

We’re adding to this channel everyday- so soon there will videos there too.

The charge shows up as “Patreon” which is just a platform for additional podcasts.

Also! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. AND, you can get free information on coparenting and handling sticky situations!

Head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

91. Should I Stay or Should I Go? The Decision to Divorce. With Kate Anthony.

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Kate Anthony, host of The Divorce Survivial Guide, is chatting with us tonight to offer another tool to help you at the beginning of your divorce process.

The "D" Word, a new book out by Kate, will offer you a lot of insight and guidance as you decide, "should I stay or should I go?"

Should I stay married for my kids? Does this count as abuse? Why am I so unhappy? What does a healthy relationship even look like?

If the above quesitons sound familar to you...go grab a copy of Kate's book.

https://www.amazon.com/Word-Making-Ultimate-Decision-Marriage/dp/0806542357

Our hope is that this conversation helps you feel like someone gets what you're going through. We know that the decision to divorce is not easy. We know that there there are a multitude of emotions that fly through your head and heart and that you likely feel an incredible amount of weight on your shoulders.

Our advice? Talk about these thoughts and feelings. Get your butt in therapy. Start getting honest with yourself about what you want for your life and for your kids' lives. Take responsibility in the role that you play in not only your marraige but also in your life in general.

A now, a word from our sponsors:

Treat yourself to the softest sheets this holiday season. Visit http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save up to 35% !

Our Family Wizard is here to help make coparenting easier. And if you could use some additional support regarding coparenting, do yourself a favor and sign up for their FREE newsletter: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

And visit Kate Anthony's site to learn more about her podcast and everything else that she has to offer. She's a wealth of support and guidance. https://kateanthony.com

And if you need access to our private library, to listen to all of our episodes in the most discreet way, please sign up for our subscription service. http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce

And our free community over on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

90. What to do if You're Not Quite Ready for Divorce

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 14:08:00 -0500

"I'm just going to make it through the holidays"

"I think I can hang on a little bit longer"

"It's just not the right time."

There's no good time to get divorced. But there's (of course) a TON of reasons that come into consideration when someone decides when to file.

So what should you do when you know you want to leave, but you're not quite ready for divorce??

1- EDUCATE YOURSELF. This is your time to gather as much information as possible. Listen to this show, ask questions..join our private communites.

2- TALK TO AN ATTORNEY. In most cases, you don't need to hire someone until you're ready to file, but you should certainly start the interview process. Remember, we suggest you interview 3 attorneys before hiring someone.

3-START PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO MONEY. We're talking about money coming in and money going out. (see our previous episodes about $$ to get more guidance here)

4-THERAPY. Get your butt in therapy. Now. In fact, stop this podcast and go. You deserve support and BTW, so do your kids. In fact, the waitlsits right now for childrens' therapists are INSANE so start doing research now and get on those lists for therapists that would right to help your family. Being proactive vs reactive is ALWAYS the better choice.

What should you NOT do??

1- Take to social media. Don't change profile pictures or start bringing attention to yourself until you know exactly what you're doing and prepared to answer questions

2- Go spending a ton a money.

3-If you're already in another relationship- DON'T make extravegant purchases or travel plans. Especially depending on the state you live in. And if you are in another relationship, don't conceal this fact from your attorney. You need to have an open and honest relationship with your divorce attorney and they cannot fully support and advise you if they don't know all of the facts.

And if you need more insight and want the most discreet way to listen to this show, join our community on Patreon. This community offers you our entire library of episodes that you can access without needing to suscribe to our show. This channel will also hold bonus interviews and conversations that will help you as you make your decision and support you along the way. http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce

And now, a word from our Sponsors,

Don't sleep on those old sheets that you shared with your ex, omg, YUCK!! Treat yourself this holiday season with the luxious sheets from Cozy Earth. Vist http://www.cozyearth.com and use code HNTSAD to save up to 35%!!!

Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Make sure you sign up for their free newsletter at http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

89. I Hate the Holidays Without my Kids. With Lisa McGregor (founder of the Unplanned Chapter)- Special Re Air!

Wed, 22 Nov 2023 00:35:00 -0500

For those of you who are facing the holidays WITHOUT your kids, let us reassure that your feelings dread and sorrow are completely normal. Even if you're feeling mixed emotions, THAT'S completely normal.

It's a dramatic change from how things used to be. It can feel strange...empty...and just plain wrong.

We can promise you this: you WILL get through these holidays...even though they might be challenging.

Listen to this special re- air episode with our friend, Lisa McGregor, to hear her take on what she did to help herself get through those first few years...you hear Andrea weigh in as well- her take is a little different.

And here are some updated action steps from Andrea:

Let yourself feel sad. Pretending you're okay when you're not does you no favors.
Move your body. We're not asking you to run a mile, but we are asking you to go for a walk.
Do something, anything. You don't need to go our and party all night, but grabbing a fresh Starbucks at least gets you out of the house.

And now, a word from our sponsors:

Treat yourself to some new sheets, don't sleep on those same sheets you shared with your ex, YUCK. Cozy Earth is all about LUXURY!! Visit : http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save 35%!!!

Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. Visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to sign up for their FREE newsletter and learn our OFW can help YOU!

Join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And if you need to listen to our episodes privately: http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

88. Grieving Your Marriage and Processing Divorce. With Rebecca Feinglos

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 06:00:00 -0500

**This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponsored by Better Health. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/NOTSUCK and get on your way to being your best self.**

Why is it that we don't allow ourselves to grieve the loss of a relationship??

It's time we change that. We are chatting with Rebecca Feinglos, founder of Grieve Leave, an organization that makes grieving death, divorce, job loss, etc more accessible and without the STIGMA.

Rebecca has experience grief of several levels. Yes, she's been through a divorce. She's also lost both of her parents. Her mother died when she was young and her father recently died on the first day of the COVID-19 lockdown. She ended her marriage one year after her father died.

So what, actually, is grieving??

How do you grieve?

Do you have to grieve?

How do you know if you are grieving??

Can you grieve if you wanted the divorce?? (yes, of course)

In divorce, we often will grieve the loss of what could have been...the life that we thought we were going to have...

And what about our jobs and bosses understanding how to support you in your grief process??

And while we're on the topic, let's debunk the myth of the "5 Stages of Grief". Look, friends, this phrase comes from a study that was performed in the 1970's and was centered around cancer paitents. As it turns out, there are NOT "stages" of grief that you go through and then you magically "finish" the grief process. Sorry... grief is not linear. It's up and down, side to side, and is ongoing. Not everyday will be gutwrentching, but there's not "finish line". And for this reason, Grieve Leave exists.

Grieve Leave offers virtual support groups for people managing the grief process. There are many different types of groups and whole lot more insight, guidance and community available. Visit them at: https://www.grieveleave.com .

You can also find them on social media at: http:www.instagram.com/grieveleave

And now, a word from our sponsors:

Soberlink offers alcohol montitoring in the most discreet way with the highest technology. Visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER (isn't that nice??) Visit http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to get access to their newsletter.

Thanks for being here, friends. Remember, we are here to support you in any way we can.

If you are considering divorce and would like to be in our private community to listen to our episodes without downloading them to your device: join us here: http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce

And if you want to join our free Facebook community, head here: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

87. Divorcing a Narciss*st

Fri, 03 Nov 2023 05:00:00 -0500

**This episode is sbrought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/NOTSUCK and get on your way to being your best self.**

Alright, here's the deal. Divorcing someone with a "type 2" personality disorder is NOT a walk in the park. AND there ARE things that you can do to help preserve your sanity...

Let's start here: EXPECT IT TO SUCK.

That may sound hard, but baby, if your marriage was a shitshow, so will your divorce. It'll be worth it, but it's gonna be a mental and emotional battle. So how do you go into war being as prepared as possible?

Arm yourself BOUNDARIES. Historically, type 2 personalites hate boundaries and rarely respect them, so it's crucial that you put strong ones in place that YOU can enforce.

One suggestion that we have is to utilize a coparenting app, specifically, Our Family Wizard. Why? Because this app was designed to help high conflict coparents communicate LESS. Our Family Wizard is an easy to use app that will help you organize your parenting schedule, shared expenses, and even allow you and your ex exchange (what can be) court monitored messages. Now, please keep in mind that just because you use an app like Our Family Wizard DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE ABUSE WILL STOP. That's really important to note. However, using Our Family Wizard will allow you the ability to gain CONTROL. You can even establish the ONE time of day that you have to read (the obnoxious) messages from your ex. It's also the safest way for high conflict coparents to communicate...for those who are in a dangerously contentious situation.

Listen to the words of our guest, family law attorney, Katharine Rupp, who PERSONALLY uses OUR FAMILY WIZARD. This woman literally practices law and she herself has had experience with gaslighting, mental and emotional abuse.

You're not crazy. You're not making this up.

You deserve to live a happier and healthier life. You need an exit stradegy. You need a plan. We are here to help you.

If you are contemplating divorce and want a private community to ask questions, listen to our episodes WITHOUT them being downloaded to your phone and have access to BONUS conversations with experts, please join our private group:

https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce

This episode is sponsored by Soberlink. If you are concerned about your coparents sobriety during their parenting time, please check out Soberlink :http:www.soberlink.com/notsuck

And visit Our Family Wizard and sign up for their newsletter to get some tips and tricks that can make coparenting easier for you. :http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

You've got this. And we've got You.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

86. The Real Divorce Attorneys of New York City (New York's Top Family Law Attorneys)

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 05:00:00 -0500

How do you know if you hired right divorce attorney for your case?

This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is an inside peek into the minds and personalities of the top family law attorneys of New York City.

Introducing:

Michael Calogero

https://www.cohenclairlans.com/attorneys/michael-calogero

Lois Liberman

https://www.blankrome.com/people/lois-j-liberman

Nicky Rooz

https://selwlaw.com/nicky-rooz/

Any divorce attorney can get you divorced, but who's going to the right person in your corner to help fight for what's most important to you and your children?

In you're wondering:

Which NYC divorce attorney has the best bedside manner?

How do I know if I'm hiring the right divorce attorney?

How much do divorce attorneys cost?

How long will my divorce take?

Take a listen to this very special episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce!

a word from our sponsors...

Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER.

Free tips and guidance for those navigating a challenging coparenting relationship available for our of our listeners, head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

For more support, join our private community on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

85. Your Divorce Doesn't Have to Ruin You Financially (Expert Tips from Advisor, Jennifer Lee)

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 12:54:00 -0500

If you feel overwhelmed by money, this episode is for YOU. Financial advisor and author of Squeeze the Juice, Jennifer Lee, spends times with us to day to give our listeners some expert tips so that their divorce doesn't ruin them financially.

Here are some tips that can help you with getting a hold of your money:

1: Do a finanicial triage. (already overwhelmed???Jennifer is here to assist our listeners with this process)

2: Don't be an ostrich. (hiding your head in the sand will get you nowhere. Ask questions. Be brave and tell your attorney that you don't have all of the information they're asking you for. Bonus points if you're brave enough to contact Jennifer and ask a financial expert for help!!)

3: Don't give up on your money situation EVEN IF you made financial mistakes during your divorce process. Educate yourself and take BABY STEPS. Get curious about how you can improve your situation.

Jennifer's book, Squeeze the Juice, is a FABULOUS place to start educating yourself. This book is story based, so it helps readers wrap their arms around the lessons.

Get it here: Squeeze the Juice

Do NOT JUDGE YOURSELF for not knowing EVERYTHING (or anything) about your finances. Just ask for help. Don't leave money on the table.

Our listeners can do a FREE 15 call with Jennifer to see if can help you!

https://calendly.com/Jennifermodernwealth

a word from our sponsors

Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Sign up for their FREE newsletter to get tips and tricks that can help you coparent better. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

For more support, join us in our private Facebook community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

84. I'm Worried About my Kids (Divorce and Children) special re air

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 01:16:00 -0500

It's what we all worry about the most in divorce: our kids.

Will my kids be okay after the divorce? Will my divorce ruin my kids' lives?

Is it fair to make my kids live in two houses?

****This is a special re air episode with Dr Randy Heller. We talk about what's in our control in regards to our childrens' emotional and mental wellbeing during and after the divorce process.

There's a lot to digest here, so listen when you have sometime to yourself.

Biggest takeway: Your kids will be okay if you are okay.

To reach Dr Randy Heller please visit https://familynetworkflorida.com/

For more support with families, check out Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard makes communication between coparents easier. Learn more at http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

And please, join our private community for more support and guidance.

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

83. How Do I Prepare for my Divorce Trial?

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 05:00:00 -0500

How do you prepare if your divorce case is heading to trial?

What are the steps that occur BEFORE your case heads to trial?

What's the the difference between a trial and a hearing?

What happens in pre trials/mini trials??

It's important that your attorney gives you realisitc expectations so that you know what a postive outcome would be, and what a "less than ideal" outcome would be. This way, you can be mentally and emotionally prepared.

And remember, whereas we don't recommend switching attorneys right before you head into trial, but you CAN hire an attorney for an hour of their time to review your case. Meaning, if you want a second set of eyes on the results of your pre trial hearing- you can and should do that! It's money well spent. And if you do this, go with a good attorney- spend a little extra and get the best of the best to review your case. It will be money well spent.

3 Action Steps YOU can take to help you best prepare for trial:

Know the risk/reward
If you have a trial set- ask your attorney to prep with you (how to answer questions, etc)
Ask for a plan for a trial (know what to expect!)

And please excuse Andrea's cough...she's still recovering from Bronchitis. And send in your self care tips for both girls...they can use them!

And now, a word from our sponsors:

Soberlink offers peace of mind for coparents if there's a concern of alcohol use during parenting time. Visit: www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Our family wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Check them out to see if Our Family Wizard can help you. Visit: www.ourfamilywizard.com

We know that heading into trial is already a less than ideal situation. If your case is heading to trial and you want a second set of eyes on your case, reach out to get some names of attorneys to review your case. We're happy to help.

Join our private community for more support.

www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And if you're enjoying our show, we would SO APPRECIATE a 5 star rating and review! The ratings and reviews help us book the expert guests you deserve.

We love and appreciate every single one of you. Thank you for allowings us into your homes/cars/minds/hearts. You've got this and we've got you!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

82. The Real Divorce Attorneys of Chicago (NEW SERIES!!)

Thu, 28 Sep 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Introducing: The Real Divorce Attorneys series- a spin off of How Not to Suck at Divorce.

This series offers an exclusive sneak peek into the minds and personalites of family law attorneys to help you discover who might be the right fit for you. Today, we are introducting you to 4 of Chicago's TOP divorce attorneys.

This episode gets crazy, so buckle up!

And if you're already midway through your divorce process...or not in the Chicago area, fear not, this episode will give you a fresh prespective on your case, and probably make you laugh!

We're covering:

How much money will my divorce cost me?

How long will my divorce take?

Who's the best divorce attorney in Chicago?

Best attorney in Chicago to counter a narcissist?

To reach out to the attorneys you heard on today's episode, head here:

Brian Blitz: https://www.bergerschatz.com/attorneys/brian-j-blitz/

Melissa Caballero Dunn: https://www.merelfamilylaw.com/attorneys/melissa-caballero-dunn/

Jessica Interlandi: https://www.sdflaw.com/team/detail/Jessica-bank-interlandi/bio

Scott Kramer: https://www.gmrfamilylaw.com/scott

And make sure you check out Our Family Wizard if you need extra support with coparenting.

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

Join our private community for more insight and community!

http:www.facebook.com/thehownotosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

81. Should I Get Divorced? (Discernment Counseling- Special re-air)

Sun, 24 Sep 2023 13:17:00 -0500

Did you know there's an actual process that helps unhappy couples decide whether divorce is the right move??? We are releasing this re-air episode today because it's important to talk about options. Divorce is NOT the answer for every couple, and a lot of you are wondering, "is divorce right for me?"

So, sit back, have an open mind...and take a listen.

*****************************************************************************************

Would you benefit from Discernment Counseling? This week, we find out. The founder of discernment counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty, joins us on the podcast. Not only did Dr. Doherty develop a specific type of counseling for couples where one is considering divorce, he's also been on Oprah not just once, but twice! From Harpo to How Not To Suck At Divorce, Dr. Doherty is moving up in the world, that's for sure.

Dr. Doherty answers the questions:

What is discernment counseling?
Does discernment counseling solve problems in the marriage?
What are the differences between couples therapy and discernment counseling?
How long is discernment counseling?
What are the three paths of discernment counseling?
How do I know if we should try couples therapy or discernment counseling?

Stay until the end because Dr. Doherty blows the lid off traditional therapy and tells us he favorite type of wine (you won't believe his answer).

You can find Dr. Bill Doherty and search for a local discernment counselor at discernmentcounselors.com.

Remember, you got this and we got you.

Slide into our dms, we love hearing from you! @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

80. What MUST go in your Parenting Agreement- Special Re-Air!!!

Sat, 16 Sep 2023 22:39:00 -0500

***Listen carefully to learn what MUST go in your parenting agreement!! This is a special re air from a few seasons ago!

Shana Tova to those who celebrate!

*********

This is no episode for babies (no offense, babies). We're getting into some real, REAL stuff in this episode. This is one of the biggest concerns our listeners have so we wanted to dedicate an entire episode to how to put your kiddos first in your parenting agreement.

How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children.

The biggest mistake divorcing couples make when creating their parenting agreement. What is the main difference of a parenting plan that involves a younger child vs. a teenager? Can you modify a parenting agreement? Who should you consult with to ensure your parenting agreement is the best for your child? Should you open the parenting agreement email after having a few drinks? What is co-parenting therapy and is it necessary? What do you do when your rights are being violated during the divorce process when you're drafting the parenting agreement? What's the best schedule for co-parenting? 50/50? Week on, week off? Every other weekend? The answer may upset you, but it's important to understand. Is there wiggle room in a parenting agreement if there's a special trip or long weekend planned? Dr. Tigges also shares her absolute "must-dos". Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges: @drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out!

OBSESSED: This week Andrea is obsessed with a non-medicated inhaler that has been scientifically proven to calm anxiety. It's called CalmiGo. It measures how much air you exhale and will vibrate when you exhale properly to help you regulate your breathing. It helps Andrea feel more grounded and has made her realize how shallow she typically breathes during the day. It's genius. CalmiGo sent the inhaler to Andrea after she posted the instagram reel of the time she was in the hospital for a panic attack. But please know, we do not recommend products just because we got one free. We will only recommend products we truly love and use. And this is one of those, for sure. If you go to Andrea's IG and click the link in her bio, you'll get a $30 off coupon.

Don't miss the very end of the episode because we talk about how it has just been discovered that honey bee venom can kill breast cancer cells. Amazing! There's also a new study on a possible cure for lupus and other autoimmune diseases AND, new developments on slowing the progression of Alzheimer's. We love ending the show with some positivity :)

To our one listener in Honduras, we see you and adore you. Thank you for being here with us. xo

We'd love to know what you think of the show! Please email us at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com or dm us at:

@theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

You can also reach out to us through our website:

www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com We read every message and reply personally because our community means the world to us and we want you to know we're here for you. You got this and we got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

79. Trauma Healing with Brainspotting. With Trauma Therapist, Lauren Auer

Thu, 07 Sep 2023 16:53:00 -0500

WOW. This episode is powerful.

If you're new to our show, welcome. On How Not to Suck at Divorce, we walk you through the divorce process from "I think I want a divorce" to "I'm divorced, now what?!" and EVERYTHING that happens between.

For many of us, our divorce comes with a "healthy" dose of trauma. Now, this term is certainly a buzz word right now that's often misused, so listen closely as our special guest, trauma therapist, Lauren Auer, digs into what trauma really is and how you can begin to heal from it.

Heard the phase, "the issue's in the tissues"? Well, that's becuase trauma tends to make a little home in our bodies and gets so damn comfortable that it doesn't want to leave. For this reason, traditional talk therapy doesn't always "do the trick" to subside the symptoms of trauma...(more on thse symptoms in the episode!).

Techniques like EMDR and Brainspotting can be quite helpful will working through a trauma block. On this episode, Lauren walks Andrea through a brainspotting exercise and it's...powerful.

This episode will help you learn some tricks that you can apply EASILY to help yourself when you're feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and panic, as a result from trauma.

To reach Lauren and learn more about her services, you can find her here: https://steadfastcounseling.com

And to find her on IG to watch her viral reels and techniques, head here:

https://instagram.com/steadfastcounseling

And now, a word from our sponsors...

If your coparent is adding to the TRAUMA in your day, then friend, please check out Our Family Wizard. At Our Family Wizard, they strive to make coparenting easier...even for the biggest PIA cases.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com

We are here for you. You can do this. Come join our community.

https://www.facebook.com/thehownotosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

78. The Wild World of Canadian Divorces! With Amanda Silver and Alex Howard of Dirty Laundry Podcast

Thu, 31 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Morgan is sick tonight but Andrea is holding down the fort over here at How Not to Suck at Divorce headquarters and joining her are the hosts of the Dirty Laundry podcast, Amanda Silver and Alex Howard.

Amanda and Alex are both mediators in Toronto and they blow Andrea's mind on this episode with all of the wild ways that Canadian divorces are different than divorces here in the United States.

Did you know that Canadians must have a period of separation before even filing for a divorce?

And if you've ever googled:

Are attorney assisted divorces as common in Canada as it is in the United States?

What does mediation look like in Canada?

How long does a divorce process take in Canada?

What's the role of a mediator in Canada?

Do Canadians really love maple syrup that much?

Then you FOR SURE want to take a listen to this episode!

If you're in the Toronto area and Amanda and Alex caught your attention (and we're sure they did) here's how you can reach them!!

http://www.midtownmediation.ca To reach Alex

https://www.foresthillmediation.com To reach Amanda

And if you needing more support with your difficult coparent, we got you! Go check out our friends at Our Family Wizard. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

See you guys next week! (and don't worry, Morgan will be back!!)

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

77. The One About Blending Families (plus a BIG announcement).With Ron Deal

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Spolier Alert: If you don't want to hear about life after divorce, this episode is NOT for you.

What happens if you meet someone you really love after being divorced?

At what point to decide to blend your lifes?

And what about the kids??

We need a roadmap on blending familes. How to do it. When to do it. How to have the right coversations. Who to have those conversations with and when do you have them....and the list goes on!

On this very special episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we are talking all things blending families (for a very special reason, which you'll hear about in the episode).

To help us navigate these waters, we brought in blending families expert, Mr Ron Deal. (or as we call him, "Ron BIG Deal"). Ron has written NINE books on the subject, and let me tell you, this guy is the REAL DEAL...not just the "big deal"!!

This episode will teach you the magic of making stew. Family stew, that is. (more on that in the episode)

If you've ever wondered if it's possible to blend families with children of different ages, this episode is for you.

If you're feeling anxious about getting remarried because you're wondering how your kids will reaact, this episode is for you.

Listen, lean back, take a breath, and learn.

To find Ron online and his library of books, head here :http://smartstepfamilies.com

To join our private communites, check us out here:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Sending you all so much love and hope for what's possible!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

76. Your Burning Divorce Questions: Answered!

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0500

You've got questions and we've (err, Morgan) has answers!

We're covering supervised visits, attorneys not prioizing your case, nesting, mediation, and how to talk to your kids, and feeling like an a$$hole for wanting to leave an unhappy marriage but not neccassrily a "bad" marriage...

To recap one of the most common questions, which has to do with wanting a clear game plan from your attorney, follow these steps:

1) Ask your attorney for a face to face or at least a phone call to discuss the PLAN

2) At the end of the meeting, ask for a recap with next steps3) Ask for a realistic timeline and the areas where waiting for a court date/hearing back from opposing counsel could play a role into said timeline

4)Ask when you should follow up

So if you've wondered "am I terrible person for wanting a divorce?" or "how can I make sure my ex doesn't get unsupervised visits with my kids?" Or if you've googled, "How can I get my divorce attorney to care about my case?" or "Should I try nesting?" then you want to listen to this episode.

And remember this, whereas it's not criminal to be unhappy in your marriage, it IS criminal to REMAIN unhappy in your marriage. Look at your feelings. Look at your thoughts. Explore those. Talk to your partner, go to therapy and WORK towards happiness, whether that's getting a divorce or not.

And now, a word from our sponsors:

Soberlink is here to help coparents who are struggling with an alcohol dependence. It's a discreet device that can ensure that you are parenting safely. Vist:soberlink.com/notsuck

And Our Family Wizard is a revolutionary coparenting app that's dedicated to making coparenting easier, no matter how hard your ex SUCKS. Visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

And join our private communites! http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com to listen to our episodes without it being downloaded to your device and http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity for support and laughs!

You've got this and we've got YOU.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

75. How Not to Suck at Refinancing Your Home with Sam Sharp

Thu, 10 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0500

It's our freaking 75th episode!!!

So let's talk about mortgages, baby!

We've got Sam Sharp, celebrity mortgage broker, here to give you insider information on interest rates, credit scores..and everything you need to know regarding refinancing or getting a brand new mortgage.

So if you're wondering why interest are so damn high right now, this episode is for YOU!

How important is your credit score?? Well, no shocker that it's VERY important. Make sure you listen to this episode to learn what you can do to improve your score.

(and did you know that a credit score for a mortgage is different from a regular credit score??)

Listen to the experts, don't DIY this stuff!

All of our US listeners are welcome to reach out Sam, you can find him here:

http://www.samsharp.com

http://www.instagram.com/samsharp_guaranteedrate

Meanwhile, Andrea is OVER her fatass, her words!! But what's with our butts growing with age??? Jeez, like we don't have enough problems!!

And now, a word from our sponsor:

Our Family Wizard is here to help you STOP TEXTING YOUR EX. No more more fighting on the phone over money issues or parenting time problems!! Go check our Our Family Wizard!

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

Join our private communites!

To listen to our episodes without having them downloaded to your device, head over to patreon!

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

And come hang out with us in our free Facebook community! Get more knowledge, more insight and more laughs

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

74. The 5 Worst Mistakes I Made in my Divorce with Andrea Rappaport

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 14:15:00 -0500

Well, here the F we go.

The 5 biggest mistakes I (Andrea) made during my divorce.

Mistake #1: Marrying the wrong person. Ignoring ALL of the red flags. Ignoring my gut. HUGE mistake.

Mistake #2: Not having the right tools to think LOGICALLY, therefore functioning from a sheer emotional place

Mistake #3: Hiring the wrong attorney for my case

Mistake #4: Signing a parenting agreement without consulting a child therapist

Mistake #5: Not having realistic expectations

This is a big episode. As uncomfortable as it is to be this vulnerable, it's more important that everyone know the mistakes that are SO easy to make that can cost you money, time with your kids, and a lot of mental sanity.

One mistake that I DIDN'T make was recogizing that my mental health was suffering towards the end of the divorce and that the "juice wasn't with the squeeze" on several issues...walking away and being done CAN be right decision for many in the divorce process. However, you ALWAYS want to follow the guidance of your attorney.

Which is why ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO HIRING THE RIGHT ATTORNEY FOR YOUR CASE!

Don't forget, the first person to DM us from this episode gets a homemade chocolate chip banana bread (Morgan's fav) shipped right to their door!! (US and Canada listeners only!...sorry to our 1 listener in Honduras, but we still love you)

Lean on us. We're here to get you through this mess. And so are our sponsors.

Need help with alcohol monitoring during parenting time? Soberlink has your back.

http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Want to make coparenting a whole lot easier? Check out Our Family Wizard.

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

Join our private communites. If you need to listen to our episodes WITHOUT them being uploaded to your familes' icloud, join our Patreon community for private listening AND bonus episodes.

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

And please join our free support group!

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

We love you guys! See you next week.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

73. Enforcing Boundaries with a "Narcissist"

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 13:55:00 -0500

Can you have boundaries with your narcissitic ex??? The million dollar question, right??

The answer is that boudaries live within YOU. You don't need someone else's cooperation or approval- you just need to enforce the boundaries you set (which is the hard part)

So today we are chatting with Katherine McNichol, a Ontario based therapist who's here to teach us about setting and enforcing boundaries. You might know Katherine from her hilarious IG account (http://www.instagram.com/katherinemcnichol.com) ! If you haven't checked out her account yet- GO! Her memes are so damn funny.

So what's the process for setting boundaries with a narc??

1) Set the boundary by telling them "This conversation is to discuss _______________"

2) When they attempt to change the subject (even if it's by throwing a jab at your expense) you can say, "I hear the you want to discuss ________________ and we can do that at another time, but right now we are talking about ___________.

3) Set the boundary. "This conversation is to talk about ______________. If you keep bringing up ___________,I'm going to need to end this conversation."

4) When that boundary that you just set is crossed- END THE CONVERSATION.

The boundary does not exisit unless you enforce it.

If you're interested with working with Katherine, please visit: http://www.kiruwellness.com and remember to check out her IG page for daily tips!!

And now, a word from our sponsor:

If you are in need of coparenting support you NEED to check out Our Family Wizard. They are here to make even the most high conflict situations a lot easier. Visit them at:

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

And remember, we have private communites for you to join!

If you need to listen to our episodes privately, please check out:

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

and don't forget about our private FB community!

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

72. What Do You Do If Your Coparent SUCKS?!? (Expert Tips!)

Thu, 20 Jul 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Hard fact: some coparents suck.

Hard truth: there IS something you can do about it.

The coparenting app, Our Family Wizard, is a favorite tool for both parents and divorce professionals.

Why? Becuase it offers a PLETHORA of options to help you NOT SUCK at coparenting with someone who...sucks.

Now, you may be familiar with Our Family Wizard as a tool to have court monitored conversations with your high conflict coparent BUT DID YOU KNOW that:

1) Our Family Wizard is not JUST for high conflict coparents

2) There are a TON of additional features on Our Family Wizard (beyond the messaging) that will actually help you MORE than the court monitored messaging. (hint: the more you use these other features, the less you'll rely on the messaging feature!)

You NEED to listen to this episode if you're stuggling with coparenting. Trust. It WILL help you.

And also, if Our Family Wizard is good enough for celebrites to use (Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Kelly Clarkson, Lala Kent, Jeff Lewis...just to name a few...) then it's good enough for YOU.

You're welcome.

Also, don't be the a$$hole who eats onion sandwiches on a train. Especially not around Morgan.

And send snacks for Andrea's son, Oliver...he's still hungry and hiding all of this food under his bed.

And now, a word from our sponsor:

Soberlink is here is assist families who are struggling with alcohol addicition that can be a danger during parenting time. To get help, please visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck

And don't forget to join our private communites!

To listen to Bonus Episodes and listen to all of shows without a record of you downloading them, go to:

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

And you're looking for a community, we've got a GREAT one for you to join!

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Coparents might not, but you don't have to suck at dealing with them.

You've got this...and we've got you.

-Andrea and Morgan

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

71. How to Switch Divorce Attorneys

Thu, 13 Jul 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Not only did your marriage not work out, but now your divorce attorney isn't working out!! aaahhh!!

What now?!?

Well, on this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce we are going to talk you through how to switch divorce attorneys, so listen up!

If you're googling:

I hate my divorce attorney

How to not lose all of my money in my divorce?

Can you switch attorneys mid divorce?

How to switch divorce attorneys?

You want to listen to what we have to say!!

There's a checklist we are going to take you through to ensure that you know EXACTLY where you stand with your current counsel, what you SHOULD be getting from them, when to know if it's time to switch things up, and finally, HOW to do it!!

To get your hands on our "Before You Swtich Attorneys" PDF, head to our IG page and visit our bio line!

www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Meanwhile, Morgan is stil being tormented by people using speaker phone in public and Andrea is losing her mind over group text messages!!

And if you're stuggling with coparenting ON TOP of dealing with the headache of attorneys, take a second and visit Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard was created to help make coparenting easier- even in the most difficult cases.

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

And remember, support is just a click away! Join our private groups below!

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

70. Well, Sh$t, my Spouse is Gay, Now What?!? With Jessica Frew

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 05:00:00 -0500

It's the season FOUR premiere!!! We are SO excited to bring you an AMAZING season of advice, divorce tips, and of course, a lot of LAUGHS.

AND...we have a brand new segment! Forget "OBSESSED", and welcome to "OVER IT", our time to share what's driving us NUTS...it's sure to bring you some much needed humor! Starting with Morgan's strong aversion to people using their speaker phone setting in public places...meanwhile, Andrea says, "bring in ON!", (just make sure your friend of family member enunciates).

Today's episode highlights the story of Jessica Frew's marriage, divorce, and her BEAUTIFUL life (and relationship with her ex), post divorce. If you don't yet know her, do yourself a favor and go follow her : www.instagram.com/heyjessicafrew . Jessica is the host of the popular, Husband in Law, podcast where she, her current husband, and her ex husband tell their story. We don't want to "spill the tea" here in the shownotes, so you're going to have to listen to this episode to hear all about Jessica's experience and how she so gracefully navigated the major changes in her life AND how she helps other women do the same.

Check Jessica's coaching groups out here: http://www.theboldlogic.com

And, here are some shoutouts to our season 4 sponsors!!

If you or your ex spouse is struggling with alcohol and you have concerns about being sober during parenting time, please visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck for $50 off a device

And please, if you are navigating a high conflict divorce and need a safe and effective way to communicate with your coparent, please visit http://www.ourfamilywizard.com

As always, take deep breaths. Move your body, and find a way to laugh EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY.

You've got this, and we've got you.

Join our FREE community : http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And to listen to our episodes PRIVATELY and get access to BONUS interviews, join us here: http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

69. Picking The RIGHT Divorce Attorney Special Re Air

Thu, 15 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0500

This episode is HUGE and a MUST LISTEN if you are in the process of picking an attorney.

The joke is, why do so many spend more time debating on whether they're going to swipe right of left on someone on Tinder then they do picking their divorce attorney?!?!?

On this special RE AIR episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we cover what you should be asking your prospective divorce attorney and what answers give you the GREEN light to move forward and what answers are a HUGE RED FLAG!!

To break it all down, we have Max Leinoff on the pod. Max is a family law attorney in Miami, Florida with Leinoff and Lemos, P.A. His firm was voted one of the Best Law Firms by U.S. News and World Report for 2021 and 2022.

Max answers:

What three things you must hear from your divorce attorney
What should you do if your divorce lawyer disagrees with you?
The importance of expressing your goals honestly with your divorce lawyer
Who will you be working for when you hire an attorney? Is it a bad sign if they have other associates helping you?
What questions should you ask divorce lawyers before deciding who to hire? These may surprise you.
What is a no fault state when it comes to divorce?
How can you work with your divorce attorney to move things along swiftly and smoothly?

"When you're looking for an attorney, you don't want a yes man or a yes woman." - Max Leinoff

If you're in Florida, here is where you can find Max Leinoff: Max@LLPA.com www.llpa.com (305) 661-1556 - office

Also, Max shouts out his lovely wife, Katy, who is an incredibly talented, professional artist who has worked with Vans and was recenly featured on the Ralph Lauren website. You can see Katy's work on instagram @katyilana. We checked her out and now we're obsessed with her, too!

To join our private community, please visit

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

And please, follow us on Instagram for more tips and divorce entertainment!!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

68. Is It My Marriage That's Making Me Miserable? Special Re-Air With Dr Randy Heller

Thu, 08 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0500

You have a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, but where is it coming from?

Is it work? Friends? Kids? or is it your marriage??

DON'T BLAME YOURSELF!! Listen to this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce if you're feeling miserable or just unhappy in your daily life to learn where it could be possibly be coming from.

Listener fave Dr. Randy Heller is back with us today to discuss one of the most common questions we get: Is it my marriage that's making me miserable?

Dr. Heller shares what people should do if they're feeling depressed, stressed and overwhelmed and an easy exercise to do to determine if it's the marriage that is the root of the problem.

We also talk about how to start to feel better, regardless of the decision we make in our marriage.

You can find Dr. Randy Heller here:

thefamilynetwk@aol.com

646-717-6718

mycollaborativeteam.com

No matter what you decide, you got this and we got you.

We love hearing from you so don't be shy. Message us on IG and join our private community!

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

67. FML: Will I Ever be Happy Again? With Author, Gabrielle Stone (Season 3 Finale)

Thu, 01 Jun 2023 14:05:00 -0500

You know her, you follow her, you love her, it's Gabrielle Stone joining us today on the season three finale of How Not Suck at Divorce.

Gabielle has been THROUGH it when it comes to heartbreak and divorce. After discovering that her husband was having an affair with a 19 year old, she quickly filed for a divorce...but that's just where her story BEGINS. Gabrielle has experienced a lot of LIFE over the last decade. And guess what? She's HAPPY. She crawled her way through and on a life changing trip to Europe, she discovered herself.

It was really important to us to offer some light at the end of the tunnel for our Season Three Finale!

We really hope you enjoy this conversation with two time best selling author, and podcaster, Gabrielle Stone.

To get your hands on her book, Eat, Pray #FML, head here:

Eat, Pray, #FML

To get your hands on her new journal, F*ck off, I'm Healing, head here:

F*ck off, I'm Healing

To listen to Gabielle's podcast, #FML Talk, head here:

FML Talk

We love you all and we want you all to know that there IS light at the end of the tunnel for you.

You WILL get through this. This pain will NOT last forever.

Stick with us, we'll get you through it.

For more support, join our private communities:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

66. What You Need To Know If You Plan on NOT Getting Remarried. With Attorney, Susan Myres

Thu, 25 May 2023 05:00:00 -0500

There's a growing trend to share your life with someone and NOT get legally married...which sounds great, right?!?

No marriage = no divorce...so what could be bad??

Well, there's some things to consider...and on this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce we are chatting with Houston area attorney, Susan Myres, who's shedding light on the perils of playing house.

So, if you're considering NOT getting remarried because, well, divorce SUCKS, we totally get it, but please listen to this episode FIRST so you're well aware of the pros and cons.

Things to consider: Tax benefits, medical rights, survior rights, pre marriage assets, just to name a few!!

There are many, many ways to live a happy and healthy life with your partner, just be aware of your rights!

Susan is availabe at https://www.thehoustondivorcefirm.com/our-team/susan-myres/

To join our private community, visit: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And to listen to our episodes privately, visit: http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

65. Do I Qualify for a Collaborative Divorce? With Attorney, Kris Algert

Fri, 19 May 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Okay, WTF is a collabortive divorce and how would you know if you qualify for one?

Today on our show, we have Austin attorney, Kris Algert, who is an EXPERT on collaborative divorces.

A collaborative divorce is a dispute resolution process where both parties commit upfont that they will not go to court. Meaning, both parties are committed to being HONEST and WILLING to WORK TOGETHER to resolve issues.

If you've wondered:

Can I get a collaborative divorce?

What's the difference between a collaborative divorce and regular divorce?

Then this episode is for YOU!

A collaborative divorce offers a unique way to resolve a divorce without spending a ton of money: less court fees, less time. HOWEVER, and this is BIG however, you need to understand that a collaboritve process is NOT for every divorcing couple.

Make sure you listen to the episode to learn whether a collaborative divorce would be right for you.

If you're interested in learning more about a collaborative divorce, make sure you ask a prosepctive divorce attorney these questions:

1) What percentage of your work is in doing collaborative divorces?

2) What do you view the benefits and the risks are for my case?

3) Ask what the likelyhood of success for their case to be resloved with a collaboritve divorce?

To reach Kris Algert, please visit: Head here!

Make sure you check out our private communites!

Patreon: if you need to listen to our episodes privately

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Facebook: if you need more support

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And make sure you're following us on Instagram!!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

64. How Can You Modify Your Child Support??

Sat, 13 May 2023 19:30:00 -0500

Child Support. You know it, you love/hate it. But what if you need to modify it?

How do you modify child support post divorce decree?

How can you get more child support?

How do you know if you're paying too much in child support?

Well, friends, we've got your answers right here on How Not to Suck at Divorce.

Here's what you need to consider:

What has changed? (finanically, you need a 10% or more swing in either direction. Needs with the children also weigh in here.
Consider the past/present and future!
Get your facts STRAIGHT (see if it's worth it before you persue
Get a full strategy (ask you attorney for guidance here!!)

Let's lighten things up here with the link to Andrea's amazon sneakers!!

Let's see these sneakers!!

Remember friends, we are here for you and would love to support you in anyway we can.

For more support, please check out our private communities.

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Patreon is for listeners who want extra BONUS episodes with private listening options, you can listen to our show without it being traced to your device!

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Our Private Facebook community is for anyone who wants more support!

We love you all! Please message us with any questions and follow up on IG!

http:www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

63. The Problem with Some Therapists With Dr Bill Doherty

Wed, 03 May 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Let us start off by saying that we LOVE therapy.

However, all therapists are NOT created equally and on this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce we are looking at the problem that some therapists create for their clients. Okay...stay with us...

Dr Bill Doherty is joining us on this very special episode to shed light on a topic that needs more attention. We want you to listen to this episode to truly disgest the ideas discussed, but for the show notes, we will leave you this:

Be aware of comments that your individual therapist makes regarding your spouse or ex spouse without ever meeting them.

Be even more aware of personality disorders that your individual therapist might claim your spouse or ex spouse has.

This episode has LOTS of controvesial ideas, so please listen with an open mind.

To find Dr Doherty online, please visit : http://www.discernmentcounseling.com

As always, we bring the information you need while navigating your divorce, the entertainment you deserve and the empathy you are craving.

We are here for you every single step of the way. Pre divorce, during your divorce, and post divorce.

We will guide you, maybe make you laugh, and hopefully help you feel less alone.

For more community, please join our Patreon and Facebook groups.

You've got this and we've got you!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

62. The Real Deal on Nesting. With Author, Beth Behrendt

Thu, 27 Apr 2023 05:00:00 -0500

What is Nesting??

Nesting is when a divorced couple with children keep the children in the family home, or "nest", and the divorced parents spend their parenting time in the "nest" and their non parenting time outside of the "nest".

The pros and cons to this lifestyle are varied, and that's exactly why we brought on Beth Behrendt, who's "nested" for many years and even wrote a book documenting not only her experience, but the experience of five other families.

Listen to this episode to hear Morgan's legal questions regarding the topic and Andrea's slighty taboo questions on the sticky side of "nesting".

This episode will open your eyes to a completley different approach to living with your children post divorce. This lifestyle is NOT for everyone. Please consult your attorney and therapist before venturing down the nesting road.

To get your hands on a copy of Beth's book, Nesting After Divorce, head HERE!

Beth also offers access to an exclusive group on Facebook to those who are "nesting curious"

Facebook Group

As ALWAYS, Morgan and Andrea are here to guide you, support you, and entertain you along your journey pre, during and post divorce.

You've got this, and we've got you!!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

61. Protect Yourself Online During Your Divorce!! Special Guest: Former FBI Task Force Leader, Steven Bradley

Thu, 20 Apr 2023 15:00:00 -0500

This podcast episode is not meant to scare you. It's meant to INFORM you.

Please pay attention to the insight given by Steven Bradley and take note of these action steps.

1) Download the Avast App

to protect your phone from spyware that can EASILY be installed for someone to track you and listen to your messages.

2) Install a VPN on your phone

3) Download the Tile App to help you detect traker devices

You can also hire Steven to help you walk through what you need to do to protect yourself:

http//:www.bradleytrainingconsulting.com

Our Family Wizard is a parenting app that helps protect you during and post divorce. More on that app later!

And now, a word from our sponsor:

Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks.

With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.

And now for a limited time you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/notsuck. (See website for terms.)

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

60. How the Hell Can You Practice Self Care During Your Divorce? With Lynne Goldberg Co-Founder of the Breethe App

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 05:00:00 -0500

"Self Care" can be MUCH easier than you think. Forget about the day at the spa or the daycation at the fancy hotels...those are great, but not everyone has the money and time!!

Here's something that EVERYONE can do. Meditate. Stay with me. Meditation does not have to be so "woo woo" and for people who spend their afternoon hugging trees. Meditation is a really valuable way to help you get your sh$t together, for lack of a better expression!

Listen to the calming voice and words from Lynne Goldberg, she's the co founder of the Breethe App, an app that's designed for the non meditator. You'll find quick and simple guided meditations that will help you reframe your mind and help you gear up for big moments in your divorce: signing agreements, mediation, etc.

Just TRY it...what do you have to lose?? And you have EVERYTHING to gain!

To download the Breethe App, head here: https://breethe.com

And a note from our Sponsors:

How Not To Suck at Divorce is sponsored by Worthy.

With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured.

And now for a limited time you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/notsuck. (See website for terms.)

How Not To Suck at Divorce is also sponsored by Soberlink.

Soberlink’s alcohol monitoring system is the simplest and most efficient way to prove sobriety during parenting time.

As we always say, you’ve got this and we’ve got you, which is exactly why we’ve teamed up with Soberlink to give you $50 off your device.

To sign up and claim your offer, visit www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

59. Divorce Support for MEN

Thu, 06 Apr 2023 14:59:00 -0500

Okay, boys, this one's for you! But girls, you should listen, too.

There's some really helpful information given that we could all use!

It's not just women who need community during a divorce.

And it's often harder for men to ask for help.

On this episode we talk to Mike Rosen, who hosts a virtual support group,(that doesn't suck), weekly, through a non profit organization called Men Living.

The power of knowing that you're not alone can help move somebody forward that's exactly why this group exists.

Mike equates the group to an "umbrella in a rainstorm"...and we ALL could use an umbrella in a rainstorm.

So what's stopping you from checking this group out??? You can just listen on your first call, if that makes you feel more comfortable. This group is guys, just like you, from all around the world, here to vent, share, and help eachother through an exhuasting process.

Be proactive and start the process of feeling better. And don't worry, this group is completely FREE. NO strings, NO scams.

Click the link below the calendar page on the Men Living site. The group is held on Tuesday nights. When you click on the "VIRTUAL CALL – SEPARATION/DIVORCE SUPPORTSUPPORT FOR THOSE WHO ARE TOUCHED BY SEPARATION/DIVORCE" there will be a place for you to register.

https://menliving.org/calendar-now/

So if you are wondering:

Is there a divorce support group for men?

How can men get free therapy?

Where can I find a virtual support group for divorce?

LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE!

And remember to add yourself to our PRIVATE communites:

http://www.patreon.com/hownototsuckatdivorce

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And follow us on Instagram!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

58. Should I Change or Keep My Last Name After My Divorce??

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Inspired by a listener email, we bring you:

"Should I Change or Keep my Last Name?"

It can be a tough decision, but here's our bottom line: YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION RIGHT AWAY!!

If you're struggling with:

Is it okay if I have a different last name than my kids?

Will keeping my spouse's last name prohibit me from moving on after my divorce?

LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE!!

And don't forget, you have the option to keep your martial last name professionally, if that's the best decision for you, and you can go back to your pre marraige last name socially!

As always, we suggest that you run these thoughts about your last name by your therapist to get their opinion.

And Andrea wants you all to remember to not forget YOU in this decision making process. So often, we are consumed by what's best for our children-which is clearly important-but don't forget about you.

Whatever you decide to do, just know that there's no rush in this decision.

And yes, Major Dick Zucker is a real story. I know...I know.

Hope this episode gave you some insight and a little giggle.

Remember to join our private communities!!

Patreon (for private listening and extra information)

Private Facebook Community

(for community and relatable content)

And remember friends, we are here for you, always. Please message us with any questions!

DM us on IG!

You've Got This and WE'VE GOT YOU,

Morgan & Andrea

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

57. Gearing Up For Mediation with NYC Attorney and Mediator, Joy Rosenthal

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 13:52:00 -0500

Listen to this episode BEFORE you go into mediation.

It IS possible to have a positive outcome from mediation, even if you feel like you your soon to be ex spouse agree on NOTHING.

Here are 3 EXPERT tips (from a mediator herself) to help you reframe your mind before entering mediation:

3)Think about why you want what you say you want. This one is kinda about checking ego, and also just gaining some perspective on the situation.

It's important to keep in mind that everyone loses something in a divorce. You're not gonna come of this thing with EVERYTHING you want, it just doesn't work like that.

And remember, mediaiton, divorce, all of this mess is just going to be ONE event that happened in your life. It's not your life, you have a lot more life to live when this is all behind you.

To find Joy online (and if you're in the great state of NY and would like contact Joy, visit:

www.joyrosenthal.com

And to access her course, head here!

https://courses.joyrosenthal.com/landing-on-your-feet

We are here for you, and here to help you not suck at mediation.

As always, please message us with questions!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

And join our private community!

http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

56. How to Co Parent with an A$$hole!! (High Conflict Divorce Co Parenting) with Deb Conley

Thu, 09 Mar 2023 14:43:00 -0500

Chew on this: It's not the divorce that hurts the children; it's the conflict.

Coparenting can be REALLY hard, everybody knows that. But coparenting with someone who's really difficult, and someone who gave you hell during your divorce process is reaaaaallllly hard, believe me, we know. We have heard it all.

So what the hell can you do to make this situation work? Well, we are going to tell you! Today, on the show we have Deb Conley, a therapist who specializes in high conflict coparenting.

Here are three ways you can reframe your mindset to help you BEGIN to coparent with someone who's not easy to coparent with:

1) Don't live in the past. (Look, we know they sucked when you were married to them, but not EVERYTHING they do as a coparent is sucking. Try your best to separate.)

2)Speak to them the way you would speak to a boss or a coworker. Take the emotion out of it. (Easier said that done, we know, but you have to reframe your mind to view this as a business relationship: the relationship of being effective coparents.

3) Let IT GO (of control) This one sucks, but it's important. You can't control everything. You just can't. You've got help yourself determine the issues that are MAJOR that warrant bringing up your concern to your coparent and things that you need to just LET GO OF.

(If you are rolling your eyes and you want to scream, Andrea is with you. Having control is probably her favorite hobby)

But wait, there's more!!

Deb Conley offers a course you can take to help you be a better coparent. It's done virutally and not both you and your ex have to take it! (Although it does work better if you both take it!)

To sign up for the course, email:

paralegal.petrichlaw@gmail.com

Subject Line: CoParenting Course

In the body of the text, mention you heard Deb speak on How Not to Suck at Divorce and they'll be extra nice to you!

Course is available to everyone.

BONUS EPISODE on this topic over on our PATREON channel- go listen NOW!

Aside from that, Morgan loves girls' trips, Andrea does not.

Andrea is heading to Vegas this weekend with her kids to teach them how to gamble and party all night. (THAT'S A JOKE< CALM DOWN)

love you guys! Hang in there!!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

55. If You Want to Keep the House... (The House Part 2)

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 14:51:00 -0500

Here are three action steps you can take to put you in the best position possible to keep your martial home.

1) Learn how to best refinance/look at a buyout

2) Get creative with negotiations

3) Remember to keep a business mindset

(We go deep into all of these steps, so make sure you take a close listen to this episode!)

If you've wondered:

How can I refinace my home?

How can I remove my ex spouse from my mortgage?

How can I convince my ex to let me keep the house?

How can I stay in my martial home?

How can I pull equity out of my house to payback my ex?

THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU!

Also, we are doing two BONUS episodes for this topic, both of those will be available on our Patreon channel!

www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

*one of our bonus episodes will be with a refinacing expert!

aaaannnnnd Andrea is obsessed with the Target tank tops and they're only $8.

So don't say we never nothin' for ya!

Hang in there, friends. We know this process is hard, but you've got this, and we've got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

54. The House (Part 1)

Thu, 23 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0500

The house. A hot topic during divorce.

And for good reason; it's the house where you made lots of memories, especially if you have children together. But since the house is likely an asset that you have as a couple, now that you are divorcing, it's an asset that will need to be divided.

So, what the hell should you do with the house??

If you've been googling:

"Can I keep my house in my divorce?"

"How can I figure out how much my house is worth?"

"Do I have to split my house with my ex husband/wife?"

Then this episode is for you!

Let's break this down into three steps that you can take to help you through "the house" process:

1- Determine the value (either by getting it appraised or by getting a CMA- listen to the episode to learn what CMA stands for!)

2- Have a better understanding of what the court would decide to do with the house should you and your ex not reach a conclusion together (you will rely on your attorney heavily here)

3- Be prepared to negotiate with your ex. Kind of goes without saying, but keep in mind that house is something that can be used as leverage at some point in your divorce process.

It's really difficult for a lot of us to view something as personal as our home as part of a business transaction, but that's exactly why we felt that this episode is so important.

And stay tuned for part 2 of "The House" where we are going to give you some pro tips on what you can do if your wish is to keep the house!

Oh, and Morgan is obsessed with Publix grocery stores...listen to episode to hear how she thought the name was pronounced when she was younger!!

If you need Morgan or Andrea for more insight and guidance, please DM or email...or come find us at the nearest Publix in the bakery section!!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

53: A New Way to Heal from Divorce Trauma with Carrie Holladay

Thu, 16 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Attention: Andrea tried accupunture and she's OBSESSED.

Did you know that accupunture can help with anxiety?? It can. I'm not lying.

In you're in the Chicago area, PLEASE check out Chicago Family Accupunture in Northbrook, IL.

100% worth, tell them Andrea from How Not Suck at Divorce sent ya!

http://www.instagram.com/chicagofamilyacu

Okay, raise your hands if you're open to trying a new way of healing!!

Apparently, talk therapy doesn't work for everyone who's stuggling with overcoming trauma.

Today's guest, Carrie Holladay, is a trauma healing coach and she's giving us an overview on somanic healing and how it could possibly with for you.

What is somantic healing?

How to heal from trauma?

How to heal from childhood trauma?

How to heal from relationship trauma?

This episode is leaning a little "woo woo", we know, but stay with us!! Healing doesn't look the same for everyone, and if you've tried everything else and it hasn't worked, why wouldn't you be open to something different??

Somatic healing works with your nervous system to help your body release the trauma that you're storing in your body.

The process can happen in groups on in one on one sessions. And, it can be virtual!

To find Carrie:

IG: @healwithcarriejean https://www.instagram.com/healwithcarriejean/ IG: @healinghubclub https://www.instagram.com/healinghubclub/ TikTok: @healwithcarrie https://www.tiktok.com/@healwithcarrie?_t=8ZkIPxkaTL0&_r=1 https://www.myhealinghub.com/ Andrea is on board and ready to heal, Morgan is still shaking her head. Neither can pronounce "amygdala". Moral of the story: healing from trauma is possible and somatic healing is just one more tool to have in your toolbox on your healing journey. Got questions? Just ask us!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

52. How to Support Your Kids During Your Divorce with Sara Olsher

Thu, 09 Feb 2023 07:00:00 -0500

This episode is going to help you help your kids as you navigate your divorce.

Meet Sara Olsher. She's the founder of a company called Mighty and Bright, a company dedicated to helping parents help their kids through difficult transitions, like a divorce.

Mighty and Bright makes stylish coparenting calendars that are designed for your children! They are have books, games and tons of other resources!!

And wise words from Sara:

Here are three steps you can take to show your child EMPATHY:

1) Get on their level- physically. Speak to them eye to eye so you're not looking down to them when you're talking

2) Validate their emotions- refrain from using phrases like "don't cry". Let them cry. It's okay for your child to be upset. Validate their feelings by saying, "I know that you're feeling really upset right now. That's okay. I'm here for you"

3) When your child is hurt by the other parent's actions, you can tell them: "Mommy and Daddy love you very much. We do not mean to hurt your feelings and we are sorry that your feelings got hurt. Thank you for letting me know and I will make sure we do better."

Go check out www.mightandbright.com to see how their resources can help you!

And here's a special link to a book that Sara wrote to help talk to your kids about Divorce!

Use CODE: DONTSUCKATDIVORCE for a special discount

https://mightyandbright.com/products/ebook-how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-divorce

And a nugget of wisdom from Morgan from our Fan Mail segment: If you find an attorney whom you cannot afford long term, but you really liked them ...you might want to consider paying them for a consultation. If can give you good feedback on your case!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

51. How to Get Divorced Without F@cking Up Your Kids

Thu, 02 Feb 2023 07:03:00 -0500

Can you get divorced without f@cking up your kids???

In short: yes.

So, what can you do?

If you are worried about screwing up your children by getting divorced, know this:

1) Your children are likely to sustain MORE damage by you NOT leaving an unhealthy marriage

2) There ARE things that you can do to help mitigate the pain your children experience during the divorce process!

In order to not totally mess up your kids by getting divorced, we suggest you:

1) Get insight from a children's therapist on how to talk to your kids

2) Keep the information you give your kids age appropriate information

3) Assemble a community for them

(Make sure you listen to this episode to hear why Andrea is so passionate about step #3!)

Also, does anyone still watch the Real Housewives?? Andrea does, and make sure you listen to this episode to hear what Morgan thought of the hotel in Iceland that the Housewives cast stayed in a few years ago!

And remember, you've got this...and we've got you!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

50. Save Money in Your Divorce (and Avoid the "Divorce Headache")

Thu, 26 Jan 2023 07:00:00 -0500

Are you worried about how much your divorce is costing you?

Yeah, we bet you are.

Well, lucky for you, listeners, we have you covered!

Here are some helpful tips on how to save money and avoid a major headache in your divorce:

*Have a PLAN (sounds obvious, but it's not) You and your attorney should have a plan in place- and know that it's likely that this plan will CHANGE

*Be mindful with how and when you're communicating with your attorney (billable hours, friends!!)

*Be prepared for the UNEXPECTED

Avoid the "what the f#ck?!?" moments by ASKING your attorney what could possibly happen in your divorce case.

And remember, it takes a team to help you through a tranisiton. If you are struggling with an alochol problem, Soberlink is here to help you. If your soon to be ex spouse is struggling with an alcohol problem and you're concern about their abilty to safely parent, Soberlink is here to help.

Visit them: www.soberlink.com/notsuck

You got this and we've got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

49. Divorcing and Still Living with Your Ex

Thu, 19 Jan 2023 07:00:00 -0500

You're getting divorced, which sucks. But now, you still have to temporarily live under the same roof as your EX!!!??

WTF.

We know, we get it. On this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, we are going to tackle the subject of what you can do to preserve your sanity while still living in the same house with your soon to be ex spouse.

Questions like:

Can I date other people before I get divorced?

Can I spend money on myself and going out if I'm still living with my ex?

How will my ex and I figure out kid time?

How do I make sure my ex and I are splitting household chores evenly?

Will all be answered!

We are nearing the end of season 3 of our show and we are SO GRATEFUL for all of our listeners. We know that you have a lot going on in your life right now and we are honored that you carve out some time to spend with us.

We know that divorce is hard. We know it's long and draining. We are here to help guide you, offer you information, entertainment, and empathy and ultimately, help you not SUCK at getting divorced.

Please rate and reivew our show!!

And message us on social, we would love to hear from you!!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

48. I Think I Want a Divorce

Fri, 30 Dec 2022 07:00:00 -0500

We know that you're tired of pretending that everything is okay.

We know that your gut that your marriage is not going to work. So, now what?

If you have wondered:

"What do I do if I think I want a divorce?" - this episode is for you.

If you're considering divorce but don't know where to begin, this episode is for you.

If you're just miserable in your marraige, but feel stuck, this episode is for you.

This podcast was designed to give you information, entertainment and empathy as you embark on the divorce process.

We know that divorce is hard. We know that it's a long and draining process. We also know that life is so much better on the other side.

Don't give up. Everyone deserves to be happy.

You've got this and we've got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

47. Expert Tips to Get What You Want in Your Divorce Mediation

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 07:00:00 -0500

How do I pick the right mediator for my divorce?

What does a mediator actually do?

How long does mediation typically last?

How do you know if you should even try mediation??

If you have ever wondered the above questions, this episode is MUST LISTEN!

Morgan and Andrea discuss everything you didn't know that you need to know BEFORE embarking on the mediation process. Remembering that we are here to help you not SUCK at getting divorced!

Mediation helps you step out of the court system to come to a more creative solution for disagreements in your divorce process.

Keep that in mind.

Take a listen to this episode and please message us with any questions!

Hit us up on social media!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

You've Got This and We've Got You!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

46. Do NOT Finalize Your Divorce Before Listening to this Episode!

Thu, 15 Dec 2022 07:00:00 -0500

What do you need to lookout for towards the end of your divorce process??

Basically, that you aren't rushing the process. When we rush, we make mistakes.

Here are a few PRO TIPS:

1) Print out your Martial Settlement Agreement and CIRCLE what doesn't make sense to you. CIRCLE to find a SOLUTION. Ask your attorney to go over all parts that you circled.

2) Understand all of the tax implications in your MSA. (Don't be caught by surprise)

3) If you're divorcing at the end of the year, evaluate whether it makes more sense (tax wise) to remained married until Jan 2nd of the following year. (could save you lots of money)

And remember: The aggrevation is temporary. The terms of a MSA (Martial Settlement Agreement) are permanment.

Please rate and review this show if it helped you!

And follow us on Instagram!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

And Facebook!

http://www.facebook.com/hownottosuckatdivorcepodcast

TikTok

http://www.tiktok.com/hownottosuckatdivorcepod

And our website!

http://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Oh, and YouTube!

http://www.youtube.com/hownotosuckatdivorce

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

45. A SOLUTION for Settling Expenses with Your Co-parent Post Divorce: The Onward App

Thu, 08 Dec 2022 07:00:00 -0500

Stop texting your EX!! (about money) The Onward app was created with co-parents and children in mind. Every parenting situation is different. For families with divorced or separated parents, there are financial burdens and situations that need to be resolved. That's where the Onward App steps in! The Onward App was created to make tracking, sharing and settling expenses as easy as possible. That way, you and your co-parent don't have to spend as much time stressing about finances and who bought what for your child when, but rather using that time to focus on your children. Both easy to use and free, you can download the Onward App on both Apple and Android phones on the Apple App Store and Google Play Store. Start using the app to track, share and settle expenses. Divorce sucks, we know that. How Not to Suck at Divorce is here to offer you SOLUTIONS and guidance so that you won't suck at getting divorced, or suck at life post divorce. Download Onward here: CLICK HERE! Resolve you expenses with ease. Stop texting your Ex. Move ONWARD and upward.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

44. "Oprah's" Favorite Things!! Morgan and Andrea's Holiday Gift Guide

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 07:00:00 -0500

What should you get your friends for Christmas or Hanukkah this year?

What should you buy your divorced friends for Christmas or Hanukkah this year?

Here's our "Oprah's" Favorite Things episode (Thanks to our FABULOUS guest, Bill Doherty, who once mentioned that we interviewed him better than Oprah did...we will forever think that we are in the same lane as the queen of daytime TV)

This season, you FOR SURE want to get your hands on:

1. Chocolate Shakeology Protein Shake

https://www.teambeachbody.com/shop/us/d/chocolate-plant-based-vegan-shakeology-SHKCHVegan?referringRepId=971096

2. Fresh Overnight Mask

https://www.sephora.com/product/fresh-floral-recovery-redness-reducing-overnight-mask-P479841?country_switch=us&lang=en&skuId=2535417&om_mmc=ppc-GG_18525596383_139024248461_pla-1211245547446_2535417_626611912078_9021768_c&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIoq-LjKzX-wIV03NvBB1OagOrEAQYAyABEgIrv_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

3. Rose Forever Roses

www.roseforever.com

4. MomSquad Clothing "Diva" Leggings

https://momsquadclothing.com/collections/bottoms/products/diva

5. Pura Home Fragrance

https://www.trypura.com

6. Williams Sonoma Truffle Popcorn Salt

https://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/regalis-black-truffle-popcorn-salt/

7. Andrea's Giant Water Bottle

https://a.co/d/34A4Pgc

8. Body Restore Shower Tabs

https://a.co/d/fDF69VL

9. The Original Chicago Sauce

https://hereheremarket.com/products/the-original-chicago-sauce?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6pvUu63X-wIVt2xvBB2J_AmEEAAYASAAEgIqQvD_BwE

10. One Piece Onesie

https://www.onepiece.com/us

For forth and SHOP, folks! Wishing you a very merry/happy holiday shopping season!!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

43. How to Survive the Holidays Without Your Kids with Lisa McGregor

Thu, 24 Nov 2022 06:00:00 -0500

How do you cope with the pain of not having your kids over a holiday?

Coparenting is hard. Managing the weekends, weeks, and holiday weekends without your kids is harder.

Our guest, Lisa McGregor, of The Unplanned Chapter, helps divorced mom through the next phase of their life.

We list out ACTION STEPS that all moms can take is they are without they're kids over a holiday. We know that's it's not easy, but it's doable and we are here to help.

Please join Lisa's group for support, information, and entertainment. Lisa, along with Andrea from our show, will be providing entertainmnet ALL DAY LONG!!

http://www.facebook.com/theunplannedchapter

And if you want to try Andrea's FAVORITE protein shake, come check it out here:

It's a GAME CHANGER!!

https://www.teambeachbody.com/shop/us/d/chocolate-plant-based-vegan-shakeology-SHKCHVegan?referringRepId=2867305

Hang in there, friends. You've got this and We've Got YOU!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

42. Divorcing a Cult: An Inside Look at the FLDS with Dr Malissa Tigges

Thu, 17 Nov 2022 06:00:00 -0500

This episode digs into the trauma, mental, emotional and sexual abuse that went on in the FLDS cult, led by Warren Jeffs, and how it relates to the trauma that goes on in many marriages and divorces.

This episode has been produced to support KidSide Miami. A charity which enables families in the family court system to recieve FREE therapy in the Miami Day county.

PLEASE visit our special link TODAY (11/17) to donate to KidSide. Every donation goes DIRECTLY to helping a family work towards happier and healthier relationships with their children in the family court system.

Donate HERE!

How hard is it to leave a cult?

What happened in the FLDS?

What kind of abuse went on in the FLDS?

Can you get a divorce in a cult?

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

41. I Bought My Husband's Mistress Lingerie. With Author, Stacey Freeman

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 07:00:00 -0500

You read that correctly. I Bought My Husband's Mistress Lingerie. It's a brand new, emotional tell-all memoir, written by Stacey Freeman.

This is a TRUE STORY, and yes, it's juicy. But it's also packed with hope and persceptive.

PRE ORDER THIS BOOK HERE:

Amazon

This episode will leave you with your mouth and your heart open.

Stacey's candor and transparency are inspiring. She waded her way through the nauesous feelings that come with a marriage that ends in infidelity.

Have you wondered:

How to get along with my ex husband's new girlfriend?

How to help my kids get along their stepmother?

How to heal from an affair?

If so, this episode and book is EXACTLY what you've been looking for!

And on OBSESSED: Skinny Pop Popcorn. Yes, Morgan is obsessed. And Andrea is currently eating out of bag of one right now...likely.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

40. What if I Die During my Divorce? With Lauren Wolven

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 13:23:00 -0500

What happens if you die during your divorce process??

What happens to your children?

What happens to your money?

We are talking with Lauren Wolven, she’s a partner in Trusts and Estates with Levenfeld Pearlstein in Chicago, IL.

Here’s the good news: There are several steps you can take to ensure that you’ve covered all of your bases, just in case you die during or soon after your divorce.

We cover a lot of ground on this episode, including:

1. How do I change my power of medical attorney during a divorce?

2. How do I change my Life Insurance policy when going through a divorce?

3. How do I change my Will when I'm going through a divorce?

**How Not to Suck at Divorce Pro Tip**:

Don’t buy your Will template from Etsy. (this started as a joke, until we realized that it's actually possible)

And remember, all roads lead back to hiring the RIGHT team to support you during your divorce process.

The RIGHT divorce attorney, the RIGHT estate attorney, and the RIGHT podcast to help you along the way!

Make sure you listen all the way to the end of the episode to hear some crazy stories about what some people leave as their final wishes!

To get in touch with Lauren Wolven, please visit her at:

LP Chicago

Oh, and our OBESSION this week??

Andrea tells us all about her obsession with Mark and Graham! Their monogramed handbags are to die fo... nope, not gonna use that expression today!

We love hearing from you! Email us at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com or dm us at: @hownottosuckatdivorce @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

WE'RE ON YOUTUBE NOW! Check us out:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMSvrn9lrdJt8mY1i_1tFwg

You can also reach out to us through our website:

www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com Please rate and review so our little show can reach more people xo

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

39. Parental Alienation and Divorce with Dr. Malissa Tigges

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 14:25:00 -0500

Parental Alienation is not a fun topic but it's an important one for everyone who is considering or going through a divorce to understand so they can avoid it. Because it harms children and none of us want that. It also harms both parents and their relationships with their kids, not just the parent being alienated.

Dr. Malissa Tigges is back. If you missed episode 37, Dr. Tigges is a licensed clinical and forensics psychologist with over 10 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and an evaluator. Parental Alienation is a buzzword thrown around in family court but today Dr. Tigges, Andrea and Morgan are going to break it all down. They will answer:

1. What is parental alienation?

2. How can we avoid parental alienation?

3. What are the two different types of alienation and how are they different?

4. What are the three levels of alienation?

5. What are the 17 strategies of alienation? 6. How parental alienation harms the kids (if you're the one alienating the other parent, trust us...you don't want to miss this part) 7. How can I help my child heal from parental alienation? 8. How parental alienation harms both parents 9. Can kids be taken away from a parent who is committing parental alienation? Morgan also shares advice she gives her own clients who are on both sides of parental alienation.

***************

Special Segments Obsessed: Now onto something a little more comfortable. This week Morgan is obsessed with OnePiece at onepiece.com. It's a one-piece sweatsuit for women, men and kids. It's so cozy and makes the best gift. It's like a luxury adult onesie. We're not affiliated with OnePiece, Morgan is just obsessed and has been wearing them for years. Let's Be Positive: Andrea shares some things you can do with your children to reconnect and strengthen your relationship.

**************** Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges: @drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out!

We love hearing from you! Email us at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com or dm us at: @hownottosuckatdivorce @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

WE'RE ON YOUTUBE NOW! Check us out:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMSvrn9lrdJt8mY1i_1tFwg

You can also reach out to us through our website:

www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com Please rate and review so our little show can reach more people xo

The Podcast does not contain legal advice. The information provided on the Podcast and the resources available for download through the Podcast and/or in show notes is not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, legal advice.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

38. Healing From Infidelity with Dr. Randy Heller

Thu, 20 Oct 2022 14:18:00 -0500

Today we have fan favorite Dr. Randy Heller to discuss how to heal from infidelity. Betrayal often has a huge impact on the divorce process because it adds fuel to an already raging fire. We want to help you move through the anger so you can make good decisions during your divorce. This is a heavy issue but we promise, by the end of the episode, you will feel better. If you're new here, Dr. Randy Heller is a licensed marriage and family therapist, licensed mental health counselor, certified Supreme Court family mediator, credentialed collaborative divorce family specialist and facilitator, parenting coordinator, certified hypnotherapist, and the founder and Clinical Director of The Family Network. Like, wow. Dr. Randy talks about the different types of infidelity. It's not just cheating. Infidelity can also be lying, stealing, and hiding money. Infidelity can be any type of betrayal. We talk about:

Triggers after the betrayal How to trust your attorney after having your trust broken by your spouse How to deal with the pain of infidelity

How to heal Because levity is important, we didn't skip our obsessed segment today. This week Morgan is obsessed with Meyers hand soap. Her fave scents are Rosemary, Rain, and Daisy (it doesn't smell like flowers). Post-pandemic Morgan is especially appreciative of how well it lathers and cleans. We're not affiliated with Meyers but if they want to slide into our dms, we won't be sad.

You can find Dr. Randy Heller here:

thefamilynetwk@aol.com

646-717-6718

mycollaborativeteam.com

No matter what you're going through, we're here for you.

We love hearing from you so don't be shy. Slide into our dms: @hownottosuckatdivorce

@theandrearappaport

@divorceattorneychicago If you're liking our little show, it would mean the world to us if you rated and reviewed us right in your Apple podcast app or wherever you listen XO

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

37. Putting Your Children First in the Parenting Agreement with Malissa Tigges

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 06:00:00 -0500

How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children.

To our one listener in Honduras, we see you and adore you. Thank you for being here with us. xo

We'd love to know what you think of the show! Please email us at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com or dm us at:

@theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

You can also reach out to us through our website:

www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com We read every message and reply personally because our community means the world to us and we want you to know we're here for you. You got this and we got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

36. Divorce and Finding Your Community with Rob Roseman

Thu, 06 Oct 2022 06:00:00 -0500

Andrea and Morgan are back with best friend of the podcast and fan fave Rob Roseman!

Rob is the host of the popular podcast WTF Divorce and a single dad who felt the very common feeling of isolation when he went through his own divorce 2.5 years ago. Rob shares his story and the three discuss how to avoid isolation and find your community so you can not just survive, but thrive.

Morgan, Andrea and Rob discuss:

Is it helpful to find others who are going through a divorce or does that make it even more difficult? Trauma bonding during divorce. How Rob and Andrea met. How finding divorce friends is like dating. How Andrea's painful divorce and isolation led her to the podcast and our wonderful community with the absolute best listeners. Why Morgan started this podcast with Andrea and what surprised Rob about her reason.

*** Be sure to listen until the end because Andrea and Morgan get real about friendships during a divorce.

If you're not already listening to Rob's podcast, following him on IG, and all over his website taking advantage of all his free resources (including a search tool to find divorce attorneys and therapists in your area), we highly recommend you do so now! Here is where you can find Rob:

@wtfdivorce www.wtfdivorce.com WTF Divorce Podcast

If you're struggling to find your community, please reach out to us and we will be here for you. Email us at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com or dm us at:

@theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

You can also reach out to us through our website:

www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

By the way, we love that you love our new OBSESSED segment, because we love it too! This week Morgan is obsessed with Sand and Fog candles. If you like candles that actually do what they're supposed to, smell up your house and last, these are for you. They're pretty, smell incredible and they won't break the bank. They even have candles that are meant to clean up pet smell. This week Morgan is burning Juniper Mint, yum. She also highly recommends Clean Linen. We're not affiliated with Sand and Fog and they didn't pay us to review them...Morgan just truly adores them and wants to share the love. Sand and Fog website That's all for this week, friends. Don't forget, you got this and we got you xo.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

35. Tinder for Divorce Attorneys with Max Leinoff; How to Find the Right Divorce Lawyer

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 18:11:00 -0500

This week we're talking about how to find the right divorce lawyer. It's like Tinder for Attorneys!

Max answers:

What three things you must hear from your divorce attorney
What should you do if your divorce lawyer disagrees with you?
The importance of expressing your goals honestly with your divorce lawyer
Who will you be working for when you hire an attorney? Is it a bad sign if they have other associates helping you?
What questions should you ask divorce lawyers before deciding who to hire? These may surprise you.
What is a no fault state when it comes to divorce?
How can you work with your divorce attorney to move things along swiftly and smoothly?

"When you're looking for an attorney, you don't want a yes man or a yes woman." - Max Leinoff

If you're in Florida, here is where you can find Max Leinoff: Max@LLPA.com www.llpa.com (305) 661-1556 - office

We had so much fun with Max, we made him participate in Spin the Wheel, Andrea's favorite segment (Morgan hates it). What embarrassing thing will Max have to do? Stay to the end to find out.

Don't missed our OBSESSED segment: This week, Morgan is obsessed with Portillos. We ordered Portillos during the photoshoot for this season, because Morgan and Andrea love nothing more than a great cheeseburger. The photographer kept shooting because watching the us chow on Portillos in fancy dresses was too good to miss. If you're not from Chicago, you may not know how amazing Portillos is. They are iconic. They're best known for hot dogs, burgers and Italian beef (and cheese fries and chocolate cake shakes). If you're not in Chicago, you can have their food shipped to your door. Life-changing. We're not affiliated (yet)....we're just obsessed.

We'd love to know what you think of the show! Please email us at hello@hownottosuckatdivorce.com or dm us at:

@theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

You can also reach out to us through our website:

www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com We read every message and reply personally, because our community means the world to us and we want you to know we're here for you. You got this and we got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

34. The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce with Rebecca Armstrong

Thu, 22 Sep 2022 08:00:17 -0500

Oh friends, you won't want to miss this episode. Morgan and Andrea are back this week with top Dallas family law attorney, Rebecca Armstong, talking about the things you SHOULD and SHOULDN'T do after you file for divorce.

Rebecca, Morgan and Andrea answer:

What 3 things should you do after you file for divorce?

What 3 things should you absolutely NOT do after you file for divorce?

Do I need a therapist if I'm going through a divorce?

Can being in therapy be used against me if I'm going through a divorce?

Why should I go to an annual checkup at the doctor during a divorce?

Can I record my spouse during an argument and use it during divorce proceedings?

Will my spending habits be scrutinized during a divorce?

What advice did Oprah give Andrea about her own divorce?

Texas friends! You can reach our fabulous guest Rebecca at:

www.armstronglawtexas.com

214-741-9906

As always, we love hearing from you so feel free to slide into our dms:

@hownottosuckatdivorce

@theandrearappaport

@divorceattorneychicago

You got this and we got you xo

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

33. Divorce and Discernment Counseling with Dr. Bill Doherty

Thu, 15 Sep 2022 06:00:03 -0500

Dr. Doherty answers the questions:

What is discernment counseling?
Does discernment counseling solve problems in the marriage?
What are the differences between couples therapy and discernment counseling?
How long is discernment counseling?
What are the three paths of discernment counseling?
How do I know if we should try couples therapy or discernment counseling?

Stay until the end because Dr. Doherty blows the lid off traditional therapy and tells us he favorite type of wine (you won't believe his answer).

You can find Dr. Bill Doherty and search for a local discernment counselor at discernmentcounselors.com.

Remember, you got this and we got you.

Slide into our dms, we love hearing from you! @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

32. Divorce Prenups with Katie Post

Thu, 08 Sep 2022 14:39:56 -0500

Divorce and prenuptial agreements go together like champagne and charcuterie.

The prenup queen Katie Post joins us. Katie is a family law attorney, like Morgan, and an expert on prenup agreements.

Prenups can play a huge role in divorce settlements. But they are often a total mystery so we decided to break it all down for you.

Katie answers:

What are the three things EVERYONE needs to know about their prenuptial agreement?

Should I get a prenup?

Do I qualify for a prenup?

Is it true only wealthy people get prenups?

Does getting a prenup make me a gold digger?

What does a prenup cover?

Can a prenup impact my business?

What is maintenance?

How can I get a prenup thrown out?

We'll also discuss the one huge mistake you should not make when writing up your prenup, divorce and prenup law in Illinois and other states, and the type of attorney you should use to draw up a prenup. Also, Andrea will share some wild prenup stories.

Be sure to stay until the end for a really sweet story that will make your day.

You can find the Prenup Queen, Katie Post, here:

kpost@beermannlaw.com

You can also contact Katie at 312-621-9700

As always, we love hearing from you! Slide into our dms with questions, comments, grievances or love here:

Morgan on IG @divorceattorneychicago

Andrea on IG @theandrearappaport

And don't forget to follow our show's new IG for more tips and divorce humor: @hownottosuckatdivorce

You got this and we got you xoxo

Please tag us on social, and send us your fave photos of Kanye West!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

31. Divorce and Alcohol Addiction with Soberlink's Chris Beck

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 06:00:32 -0500

Today we're talking about divorce when alcohol addiction is involved, with Soberlink's Chris Beck.

Alcohol addiction is on the rise and it can exacerbate the already difficult process of divorce. We know how delicate and important this issue is so we want to remove the stigma and speak openly about how it impacts both parties and how to make navigating divorce with alcohol addiction a little easier.

We talk about a device called Soberlink that Morgan has been using for several years in her family law practice. Soberlink combines a breathalyzer with facial recognition software and wireless connectivity to produce a confirmation report of sobriety that can be sent to anyone who is a part of the monitoring agreement (lawyers, coparent, rehab facilities, etc). This reduces conflict and gives the coparent assurance that their child is being cared for by a sober parent. It also gives the parent with the alcohol addition the opportunity to be in their child's life. It's truly a wonderful device for all involved.

We loved our conversation with Chris because it's so clear how much he cares about keeping families together during divorce when one person struggles with alcohol addiction. Keeping families together during and after divorce is our mission as well so his words really resonated with us. Plus Chris made us laugh, and he made Andrea cry so it's very well-rounded just as we like it.

Thank you, Chris!

Tap here to go to soberlink.com to learn more about their tech, programs and examples of family law orders.

You can also check out soberlink on:

Twitter @soberlink Facebook @soberlink

We'd love to hear from you! Are you divorcing someone with an alcohol addiction? Do you have an alcohol addiction and you're worried how it will play out? Have you used Soberlink?

@hownottosuckatdivorce

@theandrearappaport

@divorceattorneychicago Remember, you got this and we got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

30. Is It My Marriage That's Making Me Miserable? with Dr. Randy Heller

Thu, 25 Aug 2022 13:46:37 -0500

Listener fave Dr. Randy Heller is back with us today to discuss one of the most common questions we get: Is it my marriage that's making me miserable?

Dr. Heller shares what people should do if they're feeling depressed, stressed and overwhelmed and an easy exercise to do to determine if it's the marriage that is the root of the problem.

We also talk about how to start to feel better, regardless of the decision we make in our marriage.

You can find Dr. Randy Heller here:

thefamilynetwk@aol.com

646-717-6718

mycollaborativeteam.com

No matter what you decide, you got this and we got you.

We love hearing from you so don't be shy. Slide into our dms:

@theandrearappaport

@divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

29. When I Knew It Was Over with Mike Draper

Thu, 18 Aug 2022 06:00:37 -0500

We're back with Season 3!

We thought we'd kick off the best season yet by starting at the beginning of the end . . . when you know it's over.

We welcome guest and retired husband Mike Draper to the show as he shares his story of when he knew it was over and what life after divorce is really like for a single dad. Check out Magic Mike, I'm sorry, I mean Mortgage Mike on IG @mortgage_mike

As always we're keeping it real and keeping the levity because this process is tough enough. But you are never alone. You got this and we got you.

We MISSED you and love when you slide into our dms so reach out!

@theandrearappaport

@divorceattorneychicago

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

Bonus: The Parenting Agreement

Thu, 11 Aug 2022 06:00:06 -0500

Season 3 drops next week! And it's so good. To get everyone back in the divorce game, we've decided to drop some of our most popular episodes from Season 1. (cue time travel music)

Today we're talking about the parenting agreement. You won't want to miss this one. This is one of the toughest parts of divorce and Andrea gets really real and almost didn't want to record this episode. Anna helps make sense of this agreement and how to get through it in one piece. We'll talk about:

What is a parenting agreement?

What should I include in the parenting agreement?

Should we get a mediator?

Holidays during and after divorce

Visitation during and after divorce

Who pays for the kids' things when you get divorced

Cohabitating during divorce

We make it easy to understand. Be sure to stay until the end for our favorite segment: Wild divorce stories that are a lesson in what NOT to do. Hopefully we'll make you laugh and feel less alone.

Remember, you got this and we got you. See you next week for an epic Season 3! Be sure to catch our little sneak peaks on IG:

@divorceattorneychicago

@theandrearappaport

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

Bonus: I Think I Need A Lawyer

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 06:00:04 -0500

Season 3 drops in a few short weeks! To get everyone back in the divorce game, we've decided to drop some of our most popular episodes from Season 1. (cue time travel music) Today, we're talking about how to find a divorce lawyer. Andrea shares how it all went down when they decided to file and what it was like to find an attorney. It's overwhelming and emotional but we can help and make it less scary. What we talk about in this episode:

How to find a divorce attorney

What questions to ask a divorce attorney or a divorce lawyer

Where do you find a divorce lawyer or attorney

Should you google "tough divorce lawyer"

How do you vet a divorce lawyer or divorce attorney

What steps do you need to take if you don't have a financial advisor

How much do divorce lawyers charge and what's included

What is a divorce mediator

This is a lot but we promise you, we make it easy to digest and we'll make you laugh. Be sure to stay until the end for our favorite segment - wild divorce stories that are a hilarious lesson on what NOT to do.

Be sure to hit follow so you don't miss Season 3!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

26. Bill Eddy Heals High Conflict Divorces...and the world

Thu, 19 May 2022 06:00:57 -0500

We are ending season 2 with the beloved Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and continuing our discussion of high conflict divorces. Bill teaches us a simple tool that has the power to not only change the whole vibe of your high conflict divorce and how you deal with conflict with literally anyone....but we think it could heal the whole damn world.

We are hard at work planning Season 3 and it's going to be a big one! Stay tuned, we'll be back soon. In the meantime, please slide into our dms and let us know what topics you'd like us to highlight in S3: @theandrearappaport

Morgan's IG was hacked (she didn't leave law to sell "cloths") so send her an email here: mlstogsdill@beermannlaw.com

You can learn more about Bill Eddy and his work on high conflict divorce at www.highconflictinstitute.com and www.conflictplaybook.com where you'll find a parenting class and other resources for parents who are going through divorce.

You can buy Bill's book "Calming Upset People with EAR" here: www.amazon.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

25. How to Survive a High Conflict Divorce with Bill Eddy

Thu, 12 May 2022 07:00:50 -0500

Today on How Not To Suck At Divorce, Morgan is recording from a beach, Andrea is learning kung foo, it's a typical day over here.

We are so excited to have the legendary Bill Eddy on the show. Bill is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, keynote speaker and the author of over 16 books on divorce. Not only does he specialize in high-conflict divorces that involve people with personality disorders like narcissistic, borderline, anti-social, and histrionic, he has also trained over 500,000 professionals on managing high conflict disputes. Morgan is fan-girling big time.

Today we're going to dive deep into high conflict divorce with the master himself and learn how to use Bill's BIFF technique if you're going through one of these messy divorces.

Order Bill's books on Amazon here and here or at your favorite independent bookstore. His latest book has been #1 in the divorce category the last 18 months. It's a must-read-now.

Connect with Bill at www.highconflictinstitute.com

If you'd like to see a reel of Andrea doing her kung foo moves please flood her dms:

@theandrearappaport

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

24. Sex, Drugs & Dr. Daly

Thu, 21 Apr 2022 06:00:36 -0500

Today we're back with Dr. Meaghan Boston Daly to discuss if divorce can kill you. We'll talk about the impact of long term and short term stress when going through a divorce and what sex, drugs and tacos have to do with it.

If this sounds heavy, don't worry, we know how to bring the levity. Be sure to stay until the end because we have roped Dr. Meg into playing the game you all love (we hope), Decline to Comment.

Bonus...Morgan shares what your lawyers talk about when they go out for drinks together ;)

You can find Dr. Daly here: www.harper-health.com

And you can slide into our dms here:

@divorceattorneychicago

@theandrearappaport

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

23. Can Divorce Kill You Or Can NOT Getting A Divorce Kill You??

Thu, 14 Apr 2022 06:00:48 -0500

Andrea is in pain and Morgan got pooped on by an iguana in a palm tree. It's been quite an exciting week. But today all is right with the world because we're here with Dr. Meaghan Boston Daly to talk about divorce and physical wellness. Dr. Meg is a concierge internal medicine doctor in Chicago and has quite the resume. We're so excited to be able to pick her beautiful brain.

By the way, we're scouting closets across the world. If you have a closet we can record our podcast in AND you live in a climate with predictably warm weather patterns, please invite us to your home. We've had it up to here with Chicago "spring".

We love you Wyoming, thanks for telling your friends!

Where to find Dr. Meg: www.harper-health.com

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

@divorceattorneychicago @theandrearappaport

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

22. Listener Divorce Story

Thu, 31 Mar 2022 06:00:02 -0500

Today, a dear listener is sharing her divorce story with us. Welcome to the show, Zoe!

Zoe talks about how she stayed in her deteriorating marriage for 6 years. She recalls the control her ex had over her, how finances and religion played a role in her staying, and the moment she knew it was finally over.

Morgan shares some great tips if you're overwhelmed by all the paperwork and Andrea talks about finding the humor in a family therapy session over zoom with her ex-husband.

We know divorce is hard and draining, and that’s exactly why we are here. We are a part of your community now, and we got you.

DM us your stories and questions, we are here to help you.

@divorceattorneychicago

@theandrearappaport

Check out our shiny new website and let us know what you think!

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

21. The Roadmap To Divorce

Thu, 24 Mar 2022 06:00:59 -0500

This week on How Not To Suck At Divorce, we're having wine at 2:00. We're also listening to you, the best audience ever. Many of you have asked us to break down the steps to get a divorce so today we are diving in.

Listen in to find out about the 10 main steps needed to get divorced.

We will answer:

How many lawyers should you meet with before deciding to move forward with one?

What information do you need for the financial affidavit?

Who should you consult when filling out the parenting agreement?

What's it like that final day in court when your divorce is finalized?

Plus, Andrea shares her own story of getting divorced over zoom during the pandemic with her kids e-learning in the next room. Spoiler...it was bizarre.

We LOVE hearing from you so please dm us with your questions, stories or if you just need to be seen and heard.

Morgan on Instagram

Andrea on Instagram

You can also reach us on hownottosuckatdivorce.com

You got this, and we got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

20. Divorce Finances, Forensics and Fraud

Thu, 17 Mar 2022 06:00:32 -0500

Out of all the podcasts in all the world, we’re in the top 5%! What?! How did this happen?! Thank you so much to all of our listeners, especially the 6 of you in Wyoming.

Today's episode is like divorce meets CSI as we welcome Tracy Coenen. You may have seen her on CNBC On the Money, CBS, NBC, and in the Wall Street Journal. Tracy is a certified public accountant, certified in financial forensics, a master analyst and fraud investigator. If you're wondering what all this means, Tracy finds money. Money that has disappeared that you want back.

Tracy breaks down:

-When is hiring a fraud investigator or forensics accountant necessary?

-Common red flags like when a spouse is having an affair.

-How to trust your gut during your divorce.

-What to do if your spouse is telling you “we have no money”.

-If you should be concerned about the spouse who is quiet about finances or has changed passwords.

-If you should you confront your spouse about missing money or being suddenly locked out of accounts.

-What is a lifestyle analysis?

-Would Tracy rather wave a red flaeg or a white flaeg?

You will also hear Tracy's story about the infamous Instagram investigation.

This is a don't-miss episode for sure.

Tracy knows not everyone can afford to hire a private forensic accountant or investigator so she has developed a tool people can use to do it themselves.

Be sure to sign up to be notified when Tracy’s tool launches at sequenceinc.com

You can also connect with Tracy on LinkedIn

Slide into our dms and tell us what you thought of today's episode! Have you found red flags with your finances?

@theandrearappapport

@divorceattorneychicago

Hownottosuckatdivorce.com

I know anything having to do with finances during a divorce is scary, but remember, you got this and we got you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

19. Your Questions, Answered

Thu, 10 Mar 2022 07:00:21 -0500

Today we’re doing something a little different; we’re answering listener questions. And they are good. This podcast is for you and so we love when you dm us your questions and stories. Thank you for being vulnerable with us.

Just a few of the questions we answer are:

How do you support a friend who is going through a divorce when you’re happily married?

What’s the best way to organize your documents for divorce?

How do you answer the dreaded question from acquaintances “how are you”?

We’ll also hear one more way Andrea sucked at her divorce. Learn from her mistake-this is a don’t miss episode.

Wyoming, are you out there? Slide into our dms!

@divorceattorneychicago

@theandrearappaport

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

18. Part II Co-parenting with Dr. Randy Heller

Thu, 03 Mar 2022 07:00:42 -0500

We are back with part two with the fabulous Dr. Randy Heller. If you missed part one, you'll definitely want to listen to last week's episode first.

Today we're talking about how to co-parent effectively and why co-parenting should be viewed as a business relationship.

Dr. Heller answers:

How is a family therapist different than a regular therapist?

How can we co-parent effectively?

How can we protect kids during a divorce?

Will kids be ok if we get divorced?

How can I get my spouse or ex to agree to family therapy?

What if my spouse or ex is a narcissist or has bipolar disorder?

How to find a family therapist in your area.

The best ways to manage the business of co-parenting.

We love hearing from you so slip into our dms!

Andrea Rappaport

Morgan L. Stogsdill

Where you can find Dr. Randy Heller:

familynetworkflorida.com

familynetworknewyork.com

646-717-6718 (NY)

954-236-4490 (FL and CT)

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

17. Will The Kids Be Ok? With Dr. Randy Heller

Thu, 24 Feb 2022 07:00:53 -0500

This week we are excited to welcome Dr. Randy Heller to the show. Dr. Heller is a licensed mental health therapist, collaborative divorce therapist and a mediator. A true unicorn.

Today we're discussing the three conversations Dr. Heller recommends people have before filing for a divorce. We'll also be addressing the biggest concern parents have, "will the kids be ok?"

We love hearing from you so feel free to slide into our dms @theandrearappaport and @divorceattorneychicago

Where you can find Dr. Randy Heller:

familynetworkflorida.com

familynetworknewyork.com

646-717-6718 (NY)

954-236-4490 (FL and CT)

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

16. Protect Your Finances with Franco La Marca

Thu, 17 Feb 2022 08:00:04 -0500

Thank you for 10k downloads (11.8k to be exact)! Your support means the world to us.

Today Morgan and Andrea are stuck in a snowstorm talking to wealth advisor Franco La Marca.

Earlier this week Andrea posted on Instagram about financial abuse in a marriage and throughout the divorce process. So many people reached out sharing similar stories and many women said they didn't realize what they were experiencing was actually financial abuse.

So they decided to have the financial expert himself, Franco La Marca, join in on the conversation and share 3 essential things everyone should be doing to protect their finances.

We would love to hear from you after today's episode. Please feel free to message Morgan @divorceattorneychicago and Andrea @theandrearappaport.

You can find Franco La Marca at:

www.bernstein.com

franco.lamarca@bernstein.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

15. Dating After Divorce With Rob Roseman Of WTF Divorce

Thu, 10 Feb 2022 08:00:16 -0500

Warning: Our favorite F bomb is dropped at 8:52 (thanks Rob!)

Just in time for Valentine's Day, Andrea and Morgan are talking love! The love you had, the love for your kids, the excitement of future love and the love for dress shirt on top/pjs on bottom.

We are so excited to welcome our special guest Rob Roseman from the popular podcast WTF Divorce. Rob gets really real with us as he talks about his own divorce. Rob hasn't spoken publicly about his experience and we're so honored he chose to share his story with us.

Morgan, Andrea and Rob discuss how you decide if you should stick it out for the kids, how checking your ego at the door can help you have an amicable divorce where the kids thrive and the truth about what dating is like in the aftermath.

Where to find Rob:

WTF Divorce podcast

Insta: @wtfdivorce

https://www.wtfdivorce.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

14. The SUCK Acronym to the Rescue

Thu, 03 Feb 2022 08:00:26 -0500

From the floor of Morgan's son's closet, Andrea and Morgan toast Andrea's grandma, talk olive martinis, and how not to suck at divorce.

This week they're discussing the importance of taking your time when you're going through the divorce process so you're not reacting from an amped up mental space. You are going to hit a point where you just want to wrap it up because you're exhausted, but there are parts of a divorce that are irreversible and you don't want to make mistakes. So take a breath.

Don't forget the SUCK acronym:

Set aside an hour before you respond. Don't react.

Utilize help. You don't have to go this alone. Lean on your lawyer, your therapist, your friend.

Calm yourself. You will make the best strategic decisions when you are level-headed.

Knowledge, get it. Don't be afraid to ask your lawyer if there is something you don't understand.

Ok friends, tell us what you want to know about Morgan and Andrea and maybe we'll include it in "Decline to Comment" on a future episode!

Email your questions to hntsadpodcast@gmail.com

Remember, you got this and we got you. And Morgan has Enrique Iglesias.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

13. How To Move On with Michelle Dempsey-Multack

Thu, 27 Jan 2022 09:00:06 -0500

We're so excited to be back for Season 2! Today we have a very special guest, Michelle Dempsey-Multack, author of Moms Moving On, divorced mom, certified divorce specialist and coach and podcast host. If you're not yet following Michelle on Instagram, you'll definitely want to check her out @themichelledempsey

Join the Moms Moving On community for free here. When you preorder Michelle's book, you'll receive access to a live summit with Michelle and other divorce experts.

Be sure to stay until the end for our fun new segment "Decline to Comment".

As always, our dms are open. You got this and we got you (unless you need someone to pump your gas, then you're on your own).

Morgan

Andrea

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

12. Holiday Party and Season 1 Finale

Thu, 23 Dec 2021 06:00:00 -0500

Join us for our 1st annual holiday party and season 1 finale! From the floor of Morgan's son's closet. We play divorce "would you rather", discuss family dynamics, covid hangovers, and regular hangovers and Andrea sings. Make sure you're subscribed because season 2 drops in January!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

11. How Not To Annoy Your Attorney

Fri, 26 Nov 2021 07:13:29 -0500

This week we're talking about how not to annoy your attorney. We're kidding! Kind of. You want to make the most of your time with your legal counsel because, as we're sure you've guessed by now, divorce is a bit pricey. We discuss divorce concierge service, texting your attorney, the importance of a strategy call, why your attorney has junior associates helping on your case and how to best communicate with your legal team. We will also get very real about how much a typical retainer fee will run you, and the broad range of hourly rates.

Stay tuned because our holiday party is coming up. Will Cardi B be there? We'll see.

Be sure to subscribe, rate and review!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

10. Documents Needed For Divorce

Thu, 18 Nov 2021 06:27:23 -0500

On today's episode we're talking about the documents you need for divorce, why they're important to get right and all the feelings you may be feeling as you work through them. We'll walk you through each document so you don't feel overwhelmed.

Andrea opens up about her own experience getting divorced during the pandemic and Morgan gets real about how long the whole process can take.

As we mention in today's episode, please feel free to DM us on Instagram (unless your name is Chad). We're here to help and support you! @divorceattorneychicago and @theandrearappaport

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

9. Be a BIFF

Thu, 07 Oct 2021 08:00:00 -0500

Today we're talking about how to prevent things from spiraling out of control. We'll discuss high conflict divorce and the steps to take to maintain your sanity and your safety. Morgan and Andrea will walk you through how to communicate and through which methods, what BIFF means, if a judge can read your emails, how to respond when the other person gets nasty and the hilarious/immature Seth Rogen gifs NOT to send to your soon-to-be ex.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

8. High Maintenance (aka Alimony)

Thu, 30 Sep 2021 05:51:40 -0500

This week we’re talking about maintenance (aka alimony). Spoiler alert - high maintenance is a good thing here. This is a topic everyone wants to know about but is afraid to ask so we're breaking it all down. We'll answer your burning questions:

How is alimony (or maintenance) different than child support?

Who gets maintenance?

How do you qualify for maintenance?

How easy it is to qualify for maintenance?

How much alimony will I get?

We'll also discuss the top factors a judge will consider when determining if you’ll get maintenance and how mediation can help both parties get creative to meet the needs of the family.

If you're enjoying our podcast, we would love it if you rated and reviewed.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

7. How To Cope With Stress

Thu, 09 Sep 2021 06:00:00 -0500

Today we're talking about how to cope with stress while you're going through a divorce. Going through this process is a marathon, not a sprint, and we're here to coach you through it. We'll discuss the importance of optimal cognitive function, and if watching Japanese bug fighting on youtube will help you feel better. Spoiler alert: It will. Maybe.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

6. The Financial Affidavit And Other Ways To Slowly Lose Your Mind

Wed, 01 Sep 2021 15:23:42 -0500

Today we're talking all about the notorious financial affidavit. This is a really important document you'll want to be prepared for so this is an episode you do not want to miss. We'll discuss spending shame, being judged by the judge (does she/he care about your monthly root touchup?), do you need to hire someone to help figure out your finances, how to fill out the financial affidavit, do you include your dog's masseuse as well as our favorite crazy divorce stories. It's a daunting document but we're here to help you not suck at it.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

5. What's It Gonna Be?

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 18:11:36 -0500

On today’s episode, we’re talking about the different types of divorce. Who knew there was more than one?! We’ll discuss collaborative divorce, mediation and litigation and how they differ, pros and cons of each and which may be the right fit for you.

If you’re wondering how to get a divorce, should I file for divorce, how can I suck less at divorce and if you should saw your house in half like one couple did, this is the podcast for you.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

4. The Parenting Agreement

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 18:10:15 -0500

What is a parenting agreement?

What should I include in the parenting agreement?

Should we get a mediator?

Holidays during and after divorce

Visitation during and after divorce

Who pays for the kids' things when you get divorced

Cohabitating during divorce

We make it easy to understand. Be sure to stay until the end for our favorite segment: Wild divorce stories that are a lesson in what NOT to do. Hopefully we'll make you laugh and feel less alone.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

3. Moving Out

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 17:33:51 -0500

On today's episode we're talking about moving out. This part of the process isn't easy but we're here to help you through it. We discuss how to handle this moment with children, if you should hire a divorce coach, therapist or mediator and the difference between the three and the role the attorney plays. We also talk about the differences between low conflict and high conflict divorces when it comes to this decision. People typically don't talk about all the nuances that go into moving out of the shared home. That's why we're here.

We would love it if you followed, rated and reviewed our show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen.

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

2. I Think I Need A Lawyer

Mon, 26 Jul 2021 16:51:12 -0500

Today, we're talking about how to find a divorce lawyer. Andrea shares how it all went down when they decided to file and what it was like to find an attorney. It's overwhelming and emotional but we can help and make it less scary. What we talk about in this episode:

How to find a divorce attorney

What questions to ask a divorce attorney or a divorce lawyer

Where do you find a divorce lawyer or attorney

Should you google "tough divorce lawyer"

How do you vet a divorce lawyer or divorce attorney

What steps do you need to take if you don't have a financial advisor

How much do divorce lawyers charge and what's included

What is a divorce mediator

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles

1. How We Got Here

Thu, 22 Jul 2021 22:50:19 -0500

In today's episode, Morgan and Andrea talk about how they got here. Here being the place where they decided to launch a podcast about divorce and all the good, bad, ugly, and hilarious things you need to know so you don't suck at yours.

Help us help others going through the divorce process by following, rating, and reviewing our show!

Mentioned in this episode:

Natural Cycles

Natural Cycles