Like something happens and other people move on—but you’re still thinking about it days, weeks, or even years later?

If that’s you, this episode is going to change how you see yourself.

Because it’s not that you’re overreacting.

And it’s not that you’re too sensitive.

It’s that your brain and body are trying to process past hurt—and no one has ever shown you how.

In this episode, I’m breaking down what trauma actually is (and why it’s not always what you think), how a sensitive brain stores and replays emotional pain, and why trying to “think your way out of it” will never work.

In This Episode, I Cover:

1. What trauma really is (and why it’s different for everyone)
2. Why you don’t get to choose what your brain labels as traumatic
3. How past hurt shows up in everyday moments (conversations, tone, silence, looks)
4. Why you replay conversations and overanalyze what you said
5. The real reason you assume “I did something wrong”
6. How your brain uses the past to try to create safety in the present
7. Why this is NOT a logic problem—it’s a feelings problem
8. Why trying to change your thoughts first keeps you stuck
9. What’s actually happening when you feel anxious, triggered, or reactive
10. Why suppressing or “shrinking” your emotions makes everything worse
11. The cycle of overthinking → reacting → reinforcing fear
12. Why your brain is working exactly as it’s designed to
13. The truth about trauma: it doesn’t disappear—and it doesn’t need to
14. Why willpower, discipline, and “just calming down” don’t work long-term
15. What it actually takes to stop looping and start feeling steady

Key Takeaway

You’re not holding onto things because you’re weak.

You’re holding onto them because your brain is trying to protect you.

This isn’t a logic problem—it’s a feelings problem.

And until you learn how to process what you feel,

your mind will keep trying to solve it… over and over again.

You don’t need to think better.

You need to learn how to work with your nervous system and your emotions.

Invitation

I’m teaching a brand new free class on April 16:

Sensitive, Not Fragile

If you’re done overthinking everything,

replaying conversations,

and feeling like you can’t fully relax in your life…

I’m going to show you a completely different way to work with yourself.

Inside this class, I’ll teach you how to:

1. Stop the overthinking loop
2. Work with your emotions instead of against them
3. Regulate your nervous system in real time
4. Feel more steady, even when life feels hard

👉 Register here: joinamanda.ca

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.

Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess

and somewhere along the way you started believing that meant you’re fragile…

This episode is for you.

Because sensitivity is not the problem.

But not understanding how to work with it?

That’s where things start to break.

In this episode, I’m breaking down what sensitivity actually is (hint: it’s not just crying), why so many women feel like they’re one step away from falling apart, and what’s really going on beneath the anxiety, overthinking, and emotional overwhelm.

In This Episode, I Cover:

1. What sensitivity actually means (and why it’s so misunderstood)
2. Why a “sensitive nervous system” doesn’t always look emotional on the outside
3. How childhood conditioning teaches you that who you are is a problem
4. Why masking, performing, and shape-shifting become your default
5. How confidence decreases as life gets more complex
6. Why anxiety, second-guessing, and overwhelm start to increase over time
7. The real reason you feel like you might “break”
8. Why nothing has gone wrong — you’ve just never been taught how to work with yourself
9. The difference between being sensitive and being fragile
10. What actually creates stability, confidence, and emotional strength

Key Takeaway

You are not too sensitive.

You are under-supported.

Sensitivity without the right tools will feel like overwhelm.

But sensitivity with support, self-trust, and nervous system regulation?

That’s power.

Invitation

I’m hosting a brand new free class:

Sensitive, Not Fragile

If you’re done feeling like you’re one emotion away from falling apart,

this is where you start.

I’ll teach you how to:

1. Feel your emotions without collapsing
2. Regulate your nervous system
3. Build real self-trust
4. Create a life that actually feels good

👉 Register here: joinamanda.ca

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.

Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess

In this episode, I’m sharing something that came up in a coaching session — and it hit deeper than I expected.

Because while most of us wouldn’t say “I feel irrelevant,” we feel it in subtle ways:

1. When someone doesn’t listen to us
2. When we don’t feel validated
3. When we feel overlooked in conversations
4. When our reactions feel bigger than the moment

And what I realized is this:

You only feel irrelevant when you treat yourself like you are.

In this episode, I break down how this shows up, why it triggers such strong emotional reactions, and how to take your power back — without needing anyone else to change.

In This Episode, I Cover:

1. Why “feeling invisible” is more common than you think
2. The hidden belief underneath emotional reactions
3. How quickly we internalize other people’s behavior
4. The difference between external validation and internal relevance
5. Why you don’t need permission to matter
6. How to stop fighting for relevance — and start owning it
7. The pattern that keeps repeating in relationships (and how to break it)
8. Why reactivity keeps you stuck — and curiosity moves you forward
9. How to get your needs met without escalating conflict

Key Takeaway

You are not relevant because other people validate you.

You are relevant because you decide you are.

When you stop outsourcing your worth and start leading yourself from that place — everything changes:

Your reactions.

Your relationships.

Your confidence.

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.

Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess

Or visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.

It’s actually a practice I shared with my private clients this week while I’m in Hawaii — and I wanted to bring it here because it’s something you can use in real time when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck in your head.

This is about what I call planting yourself in the moment.

So many of us live in our thoughts — spinning, analyzing, anticipating — and it pulls us out of our bodies and away from ourselves.

This practice is a simple way to come back.

It helps you move out of your mind and into your body using your senses, your breath, and a few grounding thoughts that remind you: you’re safe, nothing has gone wrong, and you can be with yourself here.

The more you practice this, the easier it becomes to regulate your nervous system and support yourself through hard moments.

In This Episode We Talk About

• What it means to “plant yourself in the moment”

• How to use your senses to ground yourself anywhere

• A simple breathing pattern to calm your body

• The role of safety-based thoughts in nervous system regulation

• Why getting out of your head and into your body changes everything

• How to be present with yourself even when you’re experiencing discomfort

Key Takeaway

You can feel grounded and safe even in the middle of a difficult emotion.

When you learn to bring yourself back into the present moment — instead of getting lost in your thoughts — your nervous system settles, your body softens, and you reconnect with yourself.

Nothing has gone wrong.

This is just a feeling.

And you can be with yourself through it.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this resonated and you want support applying this work in your own life, I’d love to help.

You can book a discovery call with me and we’ll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together is a good fit.

Book here:

amandahess.ca/bookacall

Today we’re continuing with the next 10.

These lessons are about something I think many sensitive women struggle with: emotional adulthood.

Many of us are technically adults, but we’re still letting the hurt version of us, the teenage version of us, or the people-pleasing version of us lead our lives. And when that happens, we end up exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from ourselves.

Learning emotional responsibility changes everything.

It means recognizing that your feelings are yours to care for. It means setting boundaries instead of quietly crossing them and then feeling resentful. It means advocating for yourself even when it’s uncomfortable.

These are lessons I learned the hard way — through relationships, mistakes, and a lot of personal growth. My hope is that by sharing them with you, you might learn them a little more gently.

If you’ve ever struggled with resentment, over-explaining yourself, feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions, or performing in order to be accepted, this episode will help you see those patterns more clearly.

And once you see them, you can start choosing something different.

In This Episode We Talk About

• Why other people are not responsible for your feelings

• How resentment often means you’re crossing your own boundaries

• Why over-explaining is usually fear of rejection

• Why advocating for yourself might make people uncomfortable — and why that’s okay

• How you can disappoint someone and still be a good person

• Why being “low maintenance” is often conditioning, not a personality trait

• The difference between being needed and being valued

• Why you don’t need to be relevant — you need to be important to yourself

• How to recognize when you’re performing instead of living

• Why you will almost never regret choosing yourself

Key Takeaway

Emotional adulthood begins the moment you stop trying to manage everyone else’s feelings and start taking responsibility for your own.

When you learn to set boundaries, validate yourself, and choose what actually matters to you, your life becomes more peaceful, more powerful, and far more fulfilling.

Choosing yourself isn’t selfish.

It’s how you stop leaking your energy everywhere and start building a life that actually feels good to live.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If you want support implementing this work in your own life, you can book a discovery call with me.

We’ll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit.

Book here:

amandahess.ca/bookacall

But there’s a hidden pattern that quietly blocks connection.

When we walk into rooms believing that nobody likes us, we become hyper-focused on ourselves — how we’re being perceived, whether we’re awkward, whether we said the wrong thing. And when our attention is turned inward like that, it becomes almost impossible to actually connect with someone else.

Real friendship doesn’t grow out of self-consciousness or performance. It grows out of curiosity, generosity, and genuine interest in another person.

In this episode, I talk about the mindset patterns that make adult friendship harder than it needs to be — and what actually creates meaningful connection.

I also share the simple framework I use with my coaching clients to understand how friendships develop over time and why so many women unintentionally put pressure on the wrong relationships.

If you’ve ever felt like everyone else has friends except you, or like making friends as an adult feels confusing or exhausting, this episode will help you see what’s really going on — and how to start approaching connection in a healthier, more empowering way.

In This Episode We Talk About

1. Why believing “nobody likes me” makes connection almost impossible
2. How insecurity creates self-focus that blocks real friendship
3. The difference between collecting friends and building relationships
4. Why adult friendships feel harder than friendships earlier in life
5. The three “friendship buckets” that explain how friendships actually form
6. Why putting pressure on a few people to become your friends often backfires
7. The importance of growing your self-relationship so friendships can form naturally
8. How vulnerability and invitations create opportunities for connection
9. Why genuine curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for building friendships

Key Takeaway

Friendship isn’t something you acquire or secure.

It’s something you build — one conversation, one interaction, and one genuine connection at a time.

The question isn’t “Do they like me?”

The real question is:

“Am I showing up with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to connect?”

Ready to Go Deeper?

If you’re ready to work on your relationship with yourself — the foundation for every relationship in your life — you can book a discovery call with me.

We'll talk about what’s going on for you and whether coaching together would be a good fit.

Book here:

amandahess.ca/bookacall

And I’ll be honest — this birthday feels different.

There’s awareness.

There’s fear.

There’s grief.

And there’s a level of self-trust I would have begged for in my twenties.

In this episode, I’m starting a 5-part series sharing 50 things I know at 50 about being a sensitive woman in 2026 — not just how to survive, but how to thrive.

Today, I’m giving you the first 10.

These are the foundational lessons — the ones about your nervous system, your emotions, your responsibility, and your capacity.

Because if you don’t understand how you’re wired, you will misunderstand your entire life.

In This Episode, I Cover:

1. Why sensitivity is not a flaw (even if it’s been treated like one)
2. How your nervous system drives your reactions
3. Why emotions are messengers — not problems
4. The difference between regulation and suppression
5. Why other people are not responsible for your feelings
6. How to stop fucking yourself over
7. Why joy must be cultivated
8. How to move with fear instead of shrinking from it
9. Why friendship takes work (especially at midlife)
10. What loving yourself actually requires
11. Why focusing on what you want MORE of changes everything

Key Takeaway

Being a sensitive woman in 2026 is not about hardening yourself.

It’s about building emotional capacity.

It’s about regulating your nervous system instead of reacting from it.

It’s about becoming unwilling to betray yourself.

Turning 50 hasn’t made me less sensitive.

It’s made me more skilled.

And skill changes everything.

Continue the Series

This is Part 1 of a 5-part birthday series:

50 Things I Know at 50 About Being a Sensitive Woman in 2026

Stay tuned for Part 2 next week.

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.

Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess

Or visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.

So much of the emotional wellness space is focused on one thing:

Getting rid of what’s wrong.

The anxiety.

The stress.

The overthinking.

The guilt.

The burnout.

The trauma.

And while support matters, here’s what’s missing:

You cannot build a thriving life by only trying to eliminate what hurts.

In this episode, I’m teaching a core concept I walk my private clients through — the emotional teeter-totter — and why balance, not eradication, is the real goal.

Because life is 50/50.

Your brain is wired to scan for danger.

And trying to remove every uncomfortable emotion will keep you stuck in survival mode.

Instead, we need to learn how to build the other side.

Joy.

Pleasure.

Excitement.

Belonging.

Desire.

Purpose.

When you intentionally build those, everything changes.

✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:

1. Why “fixing yourself” can actually make you feel worse
2. How self-help sometimes overemphasizes what’s broken
3. The 50/50 nature of emotional life (and why it’s normal)
4. How your primitive brain keeps you in survival mode
5. The emotional teeter-totter analogy that explains everything
6. Why eliminating stress isn’t the goal
7. How to build emotional capacity instead of avoidance
8. The difference between tolerating emotions and processing them
9. Why creating joy is a skill (not a luxury)
10. How doing hard, scary things on purpose builds empowerment
11. Why pleasure, excitement, and fulfillment are your responsibility

💛 The Truth

Your life won’t feel better because you finally eliminate anxiety.

It will feel better because you’ve learned how to:

1. Feel anxiety without collapsing
2. Create joy on purpose
3. Build balance instead of chasing perfection
4. Empower yourself emotionally

You don’t need to become stress-free.

You need to become emotionally stronger and more intentional about building what you want.

🌿 Want to Go Deeper?

If this resonates and you want help applying this to your real life:

📍 Book a consultation: amandahess.ca/bookacall

You don’t have to keep running on the “fixing” treadmill.

🎧 If You Loved This Episode

Share it with someone who’s tired of trying to repair themselves.

And if this podcast supports you, leaving a review helps more women find this work.

When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen… or if I’d even keep going. But here we are — and today I want to revisit the most important message I’ve ever shared:

Loving yourself no matter what is the key to everything.

Because self-love isn’t about bubble baths or positive affirmations.

It’s about learning how to be safe with yourself.

It’s about learning how to support yourself when you’re struggling… how to regulate your nervous system… how to stop spiraling into shame… and how to stop living your life trying to earn love from everyone else.

In this episode, I’m walking you through where the message of Love Yourself No Matter What came from, why it matters so deeply, how it actually works, and how to begin implementing it in your real life — even if you feel like you’ve tried everything.

This is the foundation of emotional healing, confidence, boundaries, and true inner peace.

And if you’ve been feeling stuck, anxious, lonely, reactive, exhausted, or like something is “wrong” with you…

This episode is for you.

✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:

1. Why self-love is still deeply misunderstood
2. The difference between being loving vs. being permissive
3. Why so many people feel anxious, lonely, and emotionally exhausted
4. How perfectionism and pressure keep you stuck
5. My personal rock bottom — and what I was told about myself
6. How nervous system sensitivity can be mistaken for “something wrong with you”
7. Why learning to love yourself creates emotional safety
8. The “abused puppy” metaphor that explains healing perfectly
9. How self-love helps you stop procrastinating, people pleasing, and spiraling
10. Why your life becomes unrecognizable when you stop abandoning yourself
11. How to start practicing loving yourself daily (even when you don’t feel lovable)

💛 Ready to Go Deeper?

If you want support implementing this work in your life, I’d love to talk with you.

📍 Book a call here: amandahess.ca/bookacall

🎧 Loved this Episode?

If this podcast has supported you, I would be so grateful if you left a review — it helps more women find this work and start healing too.

I cry a lot. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry, happy, proud — or because I just need to cry. I’ve always been this way, and if you’re listening to this, you probably are too.

In this episode, I talk about why crying isn’t something to fix — and why nothing has gone wrong when tears show up. We’ve been taught to feel shame or guilt when we cry, especially in front of other people, but that doesn’t mean crying is wrong. More often than not, it just means other people don’t have the tools to be with it.

This is a conversation about sensitivity, emotion, and why big girls do cry — not because we’re weak, but because we feel deeply, we care, and we’re human.

In This Episode, I Cover:

1. Why I cry every day — and why that’s not a problem
2. The shame and guilt many women feel when they cry in front of others
3. Why people try to fix crying instead of allowing it
4. How we’re taught that crying is inappropriate or “too much”
5. Why crying isn’t manipulative
6. Crying as release, connection, and a non-aggressive expression of emotion
7. A thought to try on: Big girls do cry — and I’m okay with myself when I do

A question to sit with:

What happens when I let myself cry without making it mean something has gone wrong?

You don’t need to answer it — just notice the urge to stop it, explain it, apologize for it, or judge yourself for it.

That noticing is the work.

If this episode brought up relief, resistance, or confusion, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to carry it by yourself.

✨ Come say hi on Instagram: @theamandahess

I’d love to hear what this stirred for you — the real, unpolished version.

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.

I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

Stay Connected

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

In this episode, I unpack why emotional pain feels so intense for sensitive and neurodivergent women — and why this has nothing to do with being fragile or broken. We explore how emotional overwhelm is actually a capacity issue, not a personal flaw, and how many of the ways we’ve learned to cope with emotion are protective — but ultimately keep us stuck.

This is an honest conversation about emotional overwhelm, overthinking, self-judgment, and how learning to stay with yourself during emotional pain can fundamentally change your relationship with your emotions — and with yourself.

In This Episode, We Cover:

1. Why sensitive women often fear fully feeling their emotions
2. The difference between emotional pain and emotional overwhelm
3. Why emotional overwhelm is a capacity issue, not fragility
4. How we’re taught to fix, explain, or numb emotions instead of feeling them
5. Why intellectualizing emotions leads to overthinking and burnout
6. Common patterns sensitive women use to cope with emotional pain
7. How urgency, meaning-making, and self-judgment intensify emotional pain
8. The difference between managing emotional pain and relating to it
9. Why emotions don’t need to be solved in order to move
10. How to separate sensation in the body from the story in the mind
11. What it actually looks like to “stay with” an emotion
12. Why emotional processing should feel quiet, boring, and non-dramatic
13. How emotional capacity grows through presence, not force
14. A personal water-skiing story that illustrates how emotional capacity is built

Key Takeaway

Emotional pain isn’t the problem — being alone inside it is. When you learn how to stay with yourself instead of trying to fix, outrun, or explain your emotions, your capacity grows. Sensitivity stops being something you manage and becomes a strength you can trust.

Mentioned in This Episode

1. Emotional capacity vs. emotional fragility
2. Clean emotional experience vs. emotional overwhelm
3. Separating sensation from story
4. Internal companionship and self-trust
5. Presence as the path to emotional confidence

Work With Me

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.

I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

Stay Connected

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of unnecessary suffering or a powerful source of self-awareness. We explore the difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy, how judgment gets layered on top of pain, and why jealousy isn’t a character flaw — it’s information.

This is an honest conversation about desire, disappointment, self-worth, and how learning to let jealousy stay clean can change the way you relate to yourself and others.

In This Episode, We Cover:

1. What jealousy actually is (and what it isn’t)
2. Why jealousy often feels so intense and painful
3. The difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy
4. How we turn jealousy into extra suffering through judgment
5. The two most common ways jealousy gets “dirty”
6. A personal story about trying out for Stampede Queen and what jealousy revealed in hindsight
7. How jealousy can lead to growth — or cause us to shrink
8. Why avoiding the clean pain of jealousy often keeps us stuck
9. How jealousy points directly to desire, longing, and possibility

Key Takeaway

Jealousy doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. It means you want something. When you stop judging yourself or others for that desire, jealousy becomes a clean signal — not a punishment.

Mentioned in This Episode

1. Clean pain vs. dirty pain
2. Desire as information, not a problem
3. Emotional honesty without self-abandonment
4. Using emotion as guidance instead of self-judgment

Work With Me

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.

I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

Stay Connected

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

In this episode, I break down why rejection feels so painful, how micro-rejections accumulate over time, and why so many of us unconsciously reject ourselves before anyone else ever gets the chance to. We explore how rejection is an emotion (not a circumstance), how your brain tries to keep you “safe” by shrinking your life, and what it actually takes to rebuild your capacity for connection.

This is a powerful, compassionate conversation about emotional safety, self-belonging, and learning how to stop turning away from yourself — even when your nervous system wants to hide.

In This Episode, We Cover:

1. Why belonging is a feeling, not something other people give you
2. The difference between direct rejection and micro-rejections
3. How rejection sensitivity builds quietly over time
4. Why avoiding rejection leads to a smaller, lonelier life
5. What it means to reject yourself in advance (and how it shows up)
6. How your brain uses pre-rejection as a protection strategy
7. A simple, practical way to interrupt self-rejection in real time
8. Why you don’t need to “heal everything” to move forward
9. How to build internal belonging: I am lovable. I belong.

Key Takeaway

If you want to feel more connected, you have to stop abandoning yourself first. Belonging begins internally — and it’s a skill you can practice, moment by moment.

Mentioned in This Episode

1. The Love Yourself No Matter What coaching method
2. Real-life application vs. theory-based mindset work
3. Nervous system safety, emotional processing, and self-trust

Work With Me

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.

I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

Stay Connected

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

January 1st is supposed to feel hopeful. Fresh. Motivating.

But for so many women, it actually brings pressure, comparison, and a deep sense of “I should be feeling better than I am.”

In this episode, I’m unpacking why January 1st can feel so dysregulating — and why New Year’s resolutions often make things worse, not better.

This isn’t about mindset failure or lack of discipline.

It’s about conditioning, shame-based change, and a nervous system that’s been trained to scan for what’s missing.

We’ll talk about:

1. Why New Year’s resolutions are often fueled by shame
2. How performative change keeps you stuck in all-or-nothing cycles
3. Why willpower always fails (and what actually works instead)
4. The real reason behaviors like overeating, drinking, people-pleasing, or overworking don’t change through control
5. A gentler, more effective way to approach the new year without pressure
6. How self-concept and emotional safety create sustainable change
7. Powerful reframes you can return to all year long

Instead of asking “Who do I need to become this year?”

I invite you to explore questions like:

1. What would make me feel a little safer this year?
2. What do I want more of emotionally, energetically, and relationally?
3. What helps me come back to myself?

You don’t need a big vision.

You don’t need a perfect plan.

And you don’t need to fix yourself.

You just need to be willing to stay with yourself while this year unfolds.

Mentioned in This Episode

1. Episode 293: You Are Not Who You Think You Are — How to Change Your Self-Concept
2. Join the membership for a free week at 👉 joinamanda.ca
3. (Includes coaching calls + an upcoming full class on self-concept)
4. Book a private coaching discovery call at 👉 amandahess.ca/bookacall

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to know where 2026 is going yet.

You don’t have to feel motivated.

And you don’t need a resolution to be worthy of change.

What if this year was about trusting yourself instead of forcing yourself?

What if your only intention was to love yourself — and be more you?

I’m so glad you’re here.

And I can’t wait to keep talking with you in 2026.

In this episode, we’re talking about self-concept: the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself, how they were formed, and how they quietly shape your emotions, relationships, and choices — often without you realizing it.

So many of the things we believe about ourselves feel like facts… but they’re not. They’re thoughts — many of them inherited from childhood, authority figures, culture, or past experiences — and they can be changed.

Inside this episode, I share:

1. What self-concept actually is (and what it’s not)
2. How early experiences shape the way we see ourselves
3. Why “positive thinking” often backfires
4. A powerful question that opens a new path forward: Who would I be without this thought?
5. How to shift self-judgment without forcing yourself to believe something that doesn’t feel true
6. Why changing your self-concept isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about freeing yourself

If you’ve ever felt like you aren't capable of changing your life, this conversation offers a gentler, more empowering way to look at yourself — one that creates possibility instead of pressure.

Work With Me

If you want support with this work:

✨ Join my membership

You can come into the community this week for a free 7-day trial. You’ll get access to:

1. Weekly group coaching calls
2. My private daily podcast (500+ episodes)
3. A supportive, thoughtful community of women doing this work together

Go to joinamanda.ca to find out more.

✨ 1:1 Coaching

I currently have limited availability for private coaching.

Book a discovery call here:

👉 amandahess.ca/bookacall

If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.

You can find me on Instagram at @theamandahess — send me a DM and tell me what stood out.

Whether you celebrate or not, I’m sending you so much love as this year comes to a close.

You are not stuck. You are not broken.

And you are allowed to change.

In this episode, Amanda breaks down the crucial difference between feeling emotions and suffering because of them. You’ll hear a raw, honest reflection on what it’s like to try to “hold it all together,” why doing more never actually fixes emotional overwhelm, and how learning to slow down is the real way out of suffering.

This episode is a reminder that you don’t need better tools, better behavior, or more discipline — you need to take your foot off the emotional gas.

What You’ll Learn

• Why 50% of life is always uncomfortable emotion (no matter how well you’re doing)
• The difference between feeling pain and creating suffering
• How “trying not to feel” actually extends suffering
• Why doing more, pushing harder, or expecting yourself to cope better doesn’t work
• The compounding factors that turn pain into long-term suffering
• What it really means to “take your foot off the emotional gas”
• Simple, practical ways to slow your nervous system in real time
• How to start asking yourself, “What do I need right now?” — and listening to the answer

Key Takeaways

• Feeling is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
• Pain happens. Hurt happens. Loss, rejection, and grief are real.
• Suffering comes from:
• Judgment
• Pressure
• Emotional acceleration
• Not slowing down
• Not regulating your nervous system
• You don’t need to fix yourself — you need to pause
• Slowing down is not quitting; it’s leadership
• Self-trust is built in small percentages — 5%, then 10%, then more

Practical Tools Mentioned

• Taking your foot off the emotional gas
• Regulating through the senses:
• Look around
• Notice what you see, hear, smell, taste, touch
• Breathing and grounding (takes seconds, not minutes)
• Asking yourself:

“What do I need in this moment?”

• Choosing support instead of speed

Memorable Quote

“Feeling is inevitable. Suffering is not.”

Want This Kind of Support in Your Ear Every Day?

If this episode resonated and you find yourself thinking, “I need more of this — consistently,” that’s exactly why my membership exists.

Inside the membership, you get ongoing support to help you:

• Slow down instead of pushing harder
• Regulate your nervous system in real life
• Build self-trust one moment at a time
• Learn how to feel without suffering

This is the work — and you don’t have to do it alone.

👉 Join us at:

joinamanda.ca

Invitation

Bring your questions.

Bring the overwhelm.

Bring the part of you that’s exhausted from trying to hold it all together.

You know where to find me.

In today’s episode, I’m sharing a private training from the podcast I create exclusively for my clients. We’re breaking down the real difference between emotional tolerance (the rigid, finite jar that eventually cracks) and emotional capacity (the flexible container you can actually grow).

You’ll learn:

• Why simply “tolerating” your emotions exhausts you
• The glass-jar metaphor that explains emotional burnout perfectly
• What true emotional capacity looks like — and why it’s a skill, not a personality trait
• How nervous system regulation expands your capacity in real time
• The 4 pillars of capacity-building (regulation, nature, pleasure, and thought quality)
• How to stop outsourcing control and reclaim it in a way that’s actually sustainable
• Simple daily practices to grow your internal bandwidth so you don’t get knocked over by life

If you’ve felt like you’re at the end of your rope — irritated, overstimulated, or one small thing away from snapping — this episode will help you understand why… and what to do next.

✨ Want this level of support every week?

This episode comes from the private podcast feed I create for my 1:1 coaching clients — the kind of deep, practical emotional work we do together.

If you want to explore the ways you can work with me, head to:

👉 joinamanda.ca

🧡 If this episode landed for you…

Share it with someone who needs it, or post it to your stories and tag me.

And if you want your own questions answered join one of my coaching containers — we can go even deeper there.

You’ll learn how to identify fear in your body, regulate before you respond, and create clean, grounded boundaries that support the life you want. This is the episode to listen to if you want to stop abandoning yourself and start honoring what works for you.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

• What a boundary really is (and what it’s not)
• Why fear makes speaking up feel impossible
• How fight/flight/freeze/fawn sabotage your voice
• How to regulate before having brave conversations
• Why self-worth must be chosen first

SPECIAL OFFER — TODAY ONLY

Sign up for my 1:1 coaching at JoinAmanda.ca without a discovery call and receive:

✨ 5 months for the price of 4

✨ 20 private sessions

✨ A $250 credit after completing the program

BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP — DECEMBER 15

Join me for a live class on setting boundaries & having brave conversations.

Link in bio on Instagram/TikTok @theamandahess. or https://amandahesscoaching.as.me/brave

Because here’s the truth most sensitive women never get taught:

Thoughts are not facts.

They never have been.

But when your nervous system is dysregulated (Part 1) and your emotions feel too big to hold (Part 2), your brain grabs the easiest, most familiar thought it can find — even if that thought hurts you.

This episode breaks down why your overthinking isn’t caused by the thoughts themselves…

It’s caused by the beliefs you’ve practiced for years, the ones that have become so familiar your brain mistakes them for truth.

You’ll learn how beliefs become well-worn paths in the brain, why new thoughts feel impossible at first, and how to practice thinking in a way that creates safety, self-trust, and actual change. This is the step that allows everything you learned in Part 1 and Part 2 to finally land.

This is the third and final part of my overthinking series — and it’s where the transformation really locks in.

💡 What You’ll Discover in This Episode

• Why thoughts feel true (even when they aren’t)
• The real reason you can’t access helpful thoughts when your emotions are at a 9 or 10
• How practiced beliefs become mental “paths” your brain walks automatically
• Why your brain prefers painful familiarity over unfamiliar possibility
• What it actually takes to create a new belief you can rely on
• How radical self-love, compassion, and hope build the thoughts that change your life
• Why you keep ending up in the same emotional patterns even when you try to “think differently”
• A simple, repeatable three-step system to create thoughts that serve you instead of sabotage you
• How changing your thoughts becomes effortless when your nervous system and emotions are balanced

🔗 Get full show notes, transcript, and more:

amandahess.ca/289

👉 Interested in working with me?

Sign up for a free discovery call: amandahess.ca

📱 Connect with me on TikTok & Instagram:

@theamandahess

You don’t have a thought problem — you have an emotion problem.

When your emotions feel too big, too fast, or too overwhelming for your system, your brain does the only thing it knows how to do: it starts thinking harder. It analyzes, spirals, replays conversations, imagines every worst-case scenario — not because you’re dramatic, or weak, or too sensitive, but because your body is trying to protect you from the intensity of unprocessed emotion.

This episode explores why overthinking is always rooted in emotional dysregulation, how a sensitive nervous system amplifies feelings, and why “controlling your emotions” has never worked. You’ll learn what emotions actually are, how they move through the body, and how to start building emotional capacity so your mind can finally take a breath.

You don’t need to out-think your feelings — you need to learn how to experience them in a way that feels safe.

This is Part 2 of my three-part series on overthinking, and it’s the piece no one teaches sensitive women… but it’s the one that makes everything else finally click.

💡 What You’ll Discover in This Episode

• Why overthinking is an emotional issue long before it becomes a thought issue
• The difference between “reacting” to emotion and actually processing it
• What emotions really are — and why they’re not good, bad, or logical
• How a sensitive nervous system intensifies emotional waves
• Why unprocessed emotion always comes back bigger, louder, and more overwhelming
• How emotional capacity makes difficult feelings easier to handle
• The simple skill of “feeling emotion in the body” without being consumed by it
• Why learning to process emotion is the key to ending the overthinking cycle

🔗 Get full show notes, transcript, and more:

amandahess.ca/288

👉 Interested in working with me?

Sign up for a free discovery call: amandahess.ca

📱 Connect with me on TikTok & Instagram:

@theamandahess

If your brain feels like it never shuts off, if you replay conversations, worry about every decision, or try to anticipate every possible problem before it happens — this episode is for you.

When your nervous system has been running in survival mode for too long, overthinking becomes your body’s way of trying to keep you safe. But the truth is, it’s not protecting you — it’s exhausting you. In this episode, we break down why overthinking isn’t a mindset problem, it’s a nervous system problem, and how learning to regulate your body first changes everything.

When you understand that your “racing thoughts” are really a sensitive nervous system doing its best to help you survive, you stop trying to fix yourself — and start working with yourself.

This is Part 1 of a 3-part series where I teach the Love Yourself No Matter What Method — starting with nervous system regulation and why your gas pedal and brake are always out of sync.

💡 In this episode, you’ll discover:

• Why overthinking is your nervous system’s way of trying to keep you safe
• How a sensitive nervous system gets triggered — and what it really means
• The difference between the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems (and how to balance them)
• What “fight, flight, freeze, or fawn” actually looks like in real life
• Why your brain doesn’t know the difference between a bear chasing you and your friend not texting back
• The simple daily practices that start rebalancing your nervous system — without hours of meditation

🔗 Get full show notes, transcript, and more:

amandahess.ca/287

👉 Interested in working with me?

Sign up for a free discovery call: amandahess.ca

📱 Connect with me on TikTok & Instagram:

@theamandahess

In this episode, I share a deeply personal story from my early motherhood — the exhaustion, the misdiagnoses, and the moment I realized that I wasn’t broken… I was sensitive. For years, I tried to “fix” myself, believing that my emotions were the problem. But the truth is, sensitivity isn’t a weakness — it’s a form of wisdom.

We’ll explore what sensitivity really is (and what it’s not), how it overlaps with common mental health labels, and why learning to partner with your sensitivity is the key to feeling grounded, powerful, and whole.

If you’ve ever felt like the world was too loud, your emotions too big, or your empathy too much — this episode is for you. You’ll learn:

✨ Why your nervous system feels things so deeply

✨ How to stop pathologizing your sensitivity

✨ What it looks like to create safety and strength from the inside out

Your sensitivity isn’t something to fix — it’s something to understand.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/286

Interested in working with me? Book a free discovery call: amandahess.ca

Join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership: https://www.skool.com/emotions-school-8427/about?ref=b947741c562941f4b4d1d3f05a1b437c

Come find me on TikTok and Instagram: @theamandahess

The path forward isn't about becoming perfect or never making mistakes. It's about learning to feel safe in the mess of being human. In this episode, you'll discover how to recognize criticism as a red flag for feeling unsafe, how to regulate your nervous system when panic rises, and most importantly, how to build the muscle of self-compassion.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/285

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I'll walk you through my Love Yourself No Matter What method - a three-part process that helps you regulate your nervous system, process the emotion in your body, and decide what to believe about yourself when your brain offers up those cruel thoughts.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/284

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I share my own experience with jealousy and shine a light on the hidden connection between feeling threatened and speaking poorly about others. You'll learn ways to regulate your nervous system, reduce your jealousy, and hear why the person who truly wins isn’t someone who never feels jealous - it’s the person who can feel all their feelings without sabotaging themselves.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/283

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I’m sharing what really happens between setting a goal and achieving it, and why that messy middle is where the true transformation takes place. Through stories from my own skating experiences, I’ll show you how goals aren’t just about the finish line. They’re about the relationship you build with yourself while you go for it.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/282

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Tune in to hear my four-step process for moving through fear and failure with compassion. You'll discover how to set goals that stretch you, create belief before you see results, fail on purpose (yes, really), and evaluate without judgment.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/281

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

If you’ve ever felt stuck giving too much, overcompensating, or constantly managing the relationship on your own, this episode is for you. I share practical ways to start building self-love as a standard in your life, how to navigate guilt or frustration when it arises, and why creating this inner foundation can transform your romantic relationships from the inside out.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/280

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I'm sharing why the skill of self-love isn't fluff. Through a specific process of recognizing when you're in a trauma response and bringing love to that moment, you can start to grow around your pain rather than trying to make it disappear.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/279

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I’m sharing how to honor where you are right now and use each season to your advantage. You’ll discover why rest can be just as productive as action, how to nurture new growth, and when to harvest the wisdom your current season is offering. Most importantly, you’ll walk away knowing that no season lasts forever—and each one is preparing you for what’s next.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/278

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I’m showing you how to shift out of this cycle and finally experience the joy and fulfillment you’ve been waiting for. Learn how to move beyond disappointment, stop playing small, and start reclaiming the joy and satisfaction that’s waiting for you.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/277

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I’m opening up about my own experiences with grief - the loss of my mom, my mother-in-law, and even beloved pets - and what I’ve learned along the way. When we allow ourselves to feel grief fully, it becomes not just bearable, but healing. Discover how to stop resisting the waves of sadness, why missing someone is not a problem to solve, and how grief can actually introduce you to deeper parts of yourself.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/276

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I’m talking about why advocacy feels so hard and why our nervous systems often default to people-pleasing instead of speaking up. I’ll also share three practical communication strategies that help you ask for what you need without collapsing into shame or guilt. These tools will help you protect your energy, clarify your relationships, and model consent while staying in integrity with yourself. Advocacy isn’t about being difficult. It’s about finally belonging to yourself first.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/275

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I break down why emotional safety isn’t about being calm or waiting for others to “make” you feel safe, but rather starts when you go first. That means acknowledging your emotions and taking the steps to regulate your own nervous system, even when everything around you feels out of control.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/274

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In each episode, I share honest conversations, practical tools, and stories that will help you create emotional safety within yourself, set boundaries that honor your unique experience, and stop trying to fix yourself. If you’re ready to break free from shame, overwhelm, and the pressure to perform, hit follow now and join me on this journey to love yourself no matter what.

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

You'll discover practical ways to recognize shame when it arises, understand why it can't be white-knuckled away, and learn how to grow your capacity to feel difficult emotions through nervous system regulation. And I'll guide you through the process of shining a light on shame, releasing its grip, and ultimately reclaiming your inner authority so you can stop hiding pieces of yourself and start living from a place of truth rather than fear.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/273

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I’ll walk you through how to process fear and doubt without letting them control you, how to take radical responsibility without self-abuse, and how to plant new, empowering thoughts while accepting that the old ones might still show up.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/272

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I’m sharing the four steps you need to go from feeling stuck, unseen, and misunderstood to a place of peace, contentment, and joy. This isn’t about becoming someone different or fixing what’s "wrong" with you. You’ll learn to work with your nervous system, not against it - so that you can process emotions without drowning in them, and plant new thoughts that nurture what you want instead of always fighting off what you don’t.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/271

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Let’s design a summer that works for you.

On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:

• Why typical planning advice doesn’t work for your brain
• How to build flexibility without spiraling
• A simple strategy to enjoy your summer — on your terms

Join the call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific here: https://how-to-love-yourself-no-matter-what.captivate.fm/summer

You'll discover why trying to regulate everyone else leaves no one regulating you, how to build emotional boundaries without pushing people away, and practical tools for staying rooted in your own nervous system when someone else is spinning out. Most importantly, you'll learn that growing your emotional capacity - not shrinking your feelings - is the key to breaking free from this exhausting pattern.

Join the free Take Back Your Summer coaching call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific here: https://how-to-love-yourself-no-matter-what.captivate.fm/summer

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/270

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Let’s burn that list and make a different one.

On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:

• The truth about sensory and emotional burnout
• How masking shows up in your daily to-do list
• How to build a summer rhythm that actually supports your energy

Join the call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific here: https://how-to-love-yourself-no-matter-what.captivate.fm/summer

If you find yourself zoning out, doom scrolling, or avoiding everything — you’re not alone.

On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:

• Why “doing nothing” doesn’t recharge you the way you hoped
• How your stress response is hijacking your plans
• A shame-free way to interrupt the shutdown spiral

Join the call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific here: https://how-to-love-yourself-no-matter-what.captivate.fm/summer

Let’s talk about why your emotional experience of summer is valid — and why it’s not your fault.

On today's Take Back Your Summer free, live coaching call, you’ll learn:

• How your nervous system experiences “freedom” as chaos
• Why you feel like you’re failing at something everyone else enjoys
• What’s actually going on when your body wants to tap out before noon

Join the call happening TODAY at 2pm Pacific here: https://how-to-love-yourself-no-matter-what.captivate.fm/summer

But here’s the truth: having a burnout-free summer isn't about changing your mindset or pushing through. What you really need is a softer structure—one that works with your nervous system, not against it.

In this episode, I’m sharing a three-part framework to help you create anchors (not rigid routines), build in buffers for self-regulation, and identify what’s truly "bonus" based on your actual capacity. When you stop performing summer and start structuring it for your specific needs, you create a season you can truly enjoy.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/269

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I explore why so many women feel stuck in shutdown mode, especially during summer when expectations are high and routines are out the window. I break down how even positive experiences like beach days and family barbecues can dysregulate sensitive nervous systems, and why motivation is terrible fuel that will only create more stress. By the end, you'll understand how to work with your shutdown responses instead of fighting them, and create a summer that actually works for your brain and body.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/268

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

I share three essential insights for creating a summer that actually works for your life. You'll discover practical strategies for regulating your nervous system, setting boundaries that honor your capacity, and designing intentional recovery time into your days - so you can stop performing summer for everyone else and start experiencing it for yourself.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: amandahess.ca/267

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I explore why boundary-setting feels like disconnection for deep feelers and highly sensitive people. You'll discover practical strategies for moving through the guilt that inevitably shows up when you start setting boundaries. Most importantly, you'll learn why boundaries are for you, not rules for others, and how to give people back their feelings while tending to your own.

Get full show notes, transcript and more information here: amandahess.ca/266

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

I also unpack how pathologizing everyday human experiences keeps women tangled in self-doubt. By shifting from judgment to curiosity, you’ll see how not fitting the mold can become a powerful source of insight and self-acceptance.

Shame and misdiagnosis work together to keep women doubting their worth instead of embracing genuine healing. In this episode, you can expect practical, nervous-system-friendly tools, mindset shifts that cut through guilt, and questions that help you reclaim your own story so you can step off the endless self-improvement hamster wheel and finally breathe.

Get full show notes, transcript and more information here: amandahess.ca/265

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself



Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

As a coach, I see clients trapped in stress responses they can't seem to escape from. Whether it manifests as panic attacks, procrastination, or people-pleasing, these automatic reactions stem from our nervous system's attempt to keep us safe. Through my own experience with emotional overwhelm and working with countless clients, I've discovered that the key isn't trying to think our way out - it's learning to regulate our nervous system.

In this episode, I share three accessible ways to calm your nervous system using your senses, movement, and nature. These tools aren't about perfection - they're about building emotional safety one small step at a time.

Get full show notes, transcript and more information here: amandahess.ca/264

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself



Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

In this episode, I share my perspective on why intensity and emotional depth shouldn't be viewed as flaws that need fixing, but rather as unique gifts that make us who we are. This mindset shift is crucial for those of us who've spent years trying to dial down our natural enthusiasm or mask our true selves to fit others' expectations.

Find the full show notes, resources, transcript, and more information from this episode here: https://amandahess.ca/263

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

I’m Amanda Hess, trauma-informed life coach, and each week we dive into building self-trust, setting authentic boundaries, and embracing who you truly are beyond labels. It’s time to create emotional safety and reclaim your identity—without trying to fix yourself. 

Follow now, and learn how to start loving yourself, no matter what!

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Do these thoughts sound familiar to you? The guilt you feel after stating what you want isn't random or your fault - it's systematic conditioning.

In this episode, I'm breaking down why we feel this pressure to be "easygoing," where the guilt comes from when we advocate for ourselves, and how to build emotional resilience. I'll show you why feeling bad about having needs doesn't mean you're doing something wrong - it means you're unlearning something harmful. The path to genuine happiness isn't through being more accommodating; it's through authentic self-expression and the willingness to take up space.

Find the full show notes and transcript for this episode here: amandahess.ca/262

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

The cost of living as a good girl is enormous. We chase external validation, overfunction in every area of life, and end up burnt out, resentful, and disconnected from our authentic selves. But there is a way out, and in this week's episode, I share it with you. Tune in to learn how you can break free from this exhausting pattern and reclaim your joy, peace, and fulfillment.

You can find the transcript, full show notes, and more information here: amandahess.ca/saying-no-without-guilt/

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Drawing from her personal experiences and work as a certified life coach, Amanda unpacks why so many women feel trapped by the belief that they must be the strong one, and how this thinking leads to burnout, resentment, and the loss of self. She explores both societal and personal conditioning that teaches women to prioritize everyone else’s needs above their own and gets candid about the physical, emotional, and mental toll this takes.

But Amanda doesn’t stop there—she offers practical strategies for breaking this cycle, including the power of tiny acts of self-care, regulating your nervous system, emotional processing, and the radical act of putting yourself at the top of your own list. If you’re ready to set healthier boundaries, stop overfunctioning, and reclaim your sense of self, tune in and join Amanda as she shares the tools and mindset shifts you need to let go of what was never yours to carry.

Let’s get started on the path to freedom, fulfillment, and self-love—one small shift at a time.

Timestamps:

00:00 "The Burden of Being Strong"

03:48 "Conditioned to Prioritize Others' Needs"

07:04 Balancing Parenthood, Career, and Life

12:13 The Anxiety of Unwarranted Responsibility

15:34 Fear of Setting Boundaries

19:21 Begin Processing Personal Emotions

24:09 "Prioritize Personal Boundaries, Self-Care"

25:08 "Embrace Change for Personal Fulfillment"

30:03 "Free Week: Let Go & Transform"

Get 1 week absolutely FREE in the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership.  Go HERE: joinamanda.ca

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Key Takeaways:

What is rejection sensitivity?

Amanda discusses how rejection sensitivity is the tendency to feel real or perceived rejection more intensely than others, leading to heightened emotions, misreading social cues, and sometimes overreacting to neutral interactions.

Why are some people more sensitive?

Neurodivergence, trauma, and constant invalidation can train us to expect rejection, often resulting in masking behaviors and self-doubt.

How does it show up?

Rejection sensitivity can ebb and flow depending on emotional capacity—think stress levels, sleep, confidence, and life events. When we’re vulnerable, small rejections can feel overwhelming and lead to negative thought spirals.

Recognizing emotional bias:

Amanda explains the difference between “clean pain” (the immediate feeling) and “dirty pain” (the stories we tell ourselves about what rejection means), and how the latter keeps us stuck.

Regulating your response:

Instead of trying to avoid or tolerate rejection, Amanda encourages listeners to grow their capacity for it. This means grounding yourself, breathing, and reminding yourself that rejection is just a feeling, not a confirmation of unworthiness.

A personal example:

Amanda shares a story about navigating tense conversations in her son’s basketball team group chat and how perspective can change emotional reactions.

Practical advice:

If rejection sensitivity is getting in your way, try to pause, notice your thought patterns, and ask yourself what else could be true. Focus on expanding your tolerance rather than avoiding difficult feelings.

Join the conversation:

Amanda offers support through her coaching membership, with live coaching calls, daily written coaching, and a private podcast. If you need more personalized help, you can book a free consultation.

Connect:

Join the membership: joinamanda.ca

Book a free call: amandahess.ca/bookacall

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review—it helps the podcast grow and reach more women like you!

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

This 18-minute episode dives into a truth that’s often overlooked in the self-help world. Peace isn’t about having a quiet life—it’s about having a strong inner world.

🧠 Timestamps & Key Takeaways:

00:00 – 01:45

📍 Why “peace” isn’t what you think it is

Amanda shares how this episode—originally recorded for private clients—turns into a universal message. The most common client request? “I just want peace.” But what does that really mean?

01:46 – 04:40

📍 Peace vs. Emotional Safety

Peace is a feeling, not a destination. It’s unique to everyone and often fleeting. Amanda explains how emotional safety—knowing you can handle any emotion—is what actually creates sustainable peace.

04:41 – 07:30

📍 What you're really asking for when you say “peace”

You’re probably trying to escape the overthinking, the mental tug-of-war. Amanda reframes this as a call for quieting the mind through emotional safety—not resisting your emotions, but allowing them.

07:31 – 10:30

📍 How to recognize and work with difficult emotions like loneliness

Using vivid metaphors (like the fluttering bird in your chest), Amanda explains how to stop resisting emotions like loneliness and instead become curious about what they’re telling you.

10:31 – 13:00

📍 Creating emotional safety starts with nervous system regulation

Peace isn’t found in a bubble bath—it’s in a plan. Amanda gets real about regulating your nervous system throughout your day, not just when it’s convenient.

13:01 – 15:00

📍 Allowing emotions in your body—not thinking your way out

Self-help often tries to logic away emotions. Amanda explains why feeling them in your body is more powerful, and shares what anxiety feels like for her—plus how she softens it.

15:01 – 16:30

📍 Rewriting the story in your mind

You don’t have to stay stuck in “I can’t” or “I’m too busy.” Amanda shows how to start shifting your inner dialogue to one that supports your growth.

16:31 – 18:00

📍 Nobody’s coming to save you—and that’s good news

You are your own hero. Amanda wraps up with a powerful message about self-responsibility, self-trust, and building the life you actually want.

👋 Ready to take this work deeper?

🔹 Try my membership FREE for a week: joinamanda.ca

🔹 Book a free discovery call: amandahess.ca

And if this episode spoke to you, leave a review. It helps this podcast grow—and it helps more women hear the message they’ve been waiting for.

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

[00:00–01:25]

📍 Let's reframe burnout

I kick things off by calling out the biggest misunderstanding about burnout: we think it’s situational, but the truth is deeper. Burnout is when your nervous system says, “I’m done.” It's not weakness—it's a stress overload.

[01:26–03:20]

🔥 Burnout vs. "nervous breakdown"

I talk about how burnout used to be labeled a nervous breakdown, and why that language matters. It’s about capacity, not capability. Burnout is your body's way of saying something's not working.

[03:21–05:10]

🚫 People-pleasing & the cost of “playing nice”

If you’re saying yes when you want to say no, avoiding boundaries, and putting everyone else first, this is your burnout blueprint. I walk through how saying “yes” at the expense of yourself leads to emotional depletion.

[05:11–07:45]

🌪️ The real burnout trigger: a fried nervous system

What looks like anxiety, panic, and sleeplessness often comes down to nervous system dysregulation. I compare it to skipping flossing—eventually the buildup causes pain. We need daily emotional hygiene.

[07:46–09:35]

💡 How to start regulating your nervous system

This isn’t about meditating more or walking it off. I explain how real nervous system regulation is consistent, intentional, and doable. I share the first tool you can try today: my 5-minute reset (and how to get it).

[09:36–11:20]

⚖️ Capacity & emotion: how to hold more

Think about how you feel after vacation vs. after a sleepless night. Emotional capacity changes, and we can build it intentionally. This section is about how we make allowing emotion easier.

[11:21–13:00]

🧠 Thoughts, beliefs & the mental load

Burnout isn’t just emotional—there’s a mental component too. I talk about how the belief that you’re responsible for everything and everyone fuels burnout and why it’s time to challenge that.

[13:01–15:00]

💬 Where to start & how I can help

I wrap with two options for going deeper: book a discovery call with me at amandahess.ca or join my Love Yourself No Matter What membership for free at joinamanda.ca. Plus, how to reach me for the free 5-minute reset.

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

LT Dixon joins me to share a deeply personal, powerful journey of healing, self-discovery, and radical self-love. From surviving abuse to raising five kids as a single mom, LT didn't just rebuild her life—she reinvented her identity.

Together, we explore what it actually means to put yourself first without guilt, why so many women feel resistance to loving themselves, and how to start operating from a completely new paradigm—where self-love isn’t optional, it’s foundational.

You’ll walk away with tangible wisdom, loving truth bombs, and a fresh perspective on what it means to be love, lead with love, and build a life from the inside out.

Whether you’re at the start of your healing journey or deep in the process of remembering who you are—you’ll find resonance here.

⏱️ Episode Timestamps:

0:00 – Welcome + introducing my first guest in this self-love series

2:15 – LT’s story: healing from abuse and rediscovering herself

6:45 – “It started with a cup of coffee”: the smallest act of self-love that changed everything

10:30 – The moment she said, “This can’t be my life”—and why that question matters

14:55 – How to ask, ‘Where am I?’ and why this is the most powerful place to begin

19:30 – Redefining love on your own terms: acceptance, appreciation, no judgment

24:10 – LT’s “me, we, them” framework and how it transformed her family

29:50 – What to do when you feel resistance to loving yourself

33:40 – Setting boundaries without guilt—and how it’s a form of love

37:20 – Why healing isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being honest

41:10 – Final takeaways + where to find LT online

🔗 Connect with LT Dixon:

📱 TikTok: @getyourshifttogether

SM: IG: L.T. Dixon

Connect with Amanda:

Get a FREE week inside the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership:

https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

TT/IG/FB @theamandahess

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

🧠 Here’s what we cover:

[00:00] – Welcome & why this topic matters

[01:30] – A real-life moment with my husband that brought up deep feelings of being unheard

[04:15] – How I reacted (and what I used to do before I had the tools I do now)

[07:00] – The shame spiral that used to follow, and why I don’t go there anymore

[09:20] – Why neurodivergent women are often misunderstood and mislabeled

[11:40] – A poolside story with my dad’s wife that triggered old beliefs and shame

[14:30] – How hiding parts of ourselves contributes to feeling invisible

[16:50] – Why you have to see yourself before anyone else can

[18:40] – What it means to be your own ride or die

[20:00] – How to build connection, support, and belonging—on your terms

[22:10] – The two ways to work with me if you’re ready to finally feel seen and heard

💥 Ready to feel truly seen and heard in your life?

→ Book a 1:1 consult with me here: https://amandahess.ca

→ Join my membership and start your FREE week here: https://joinamanda.ca

You deserve to take up space. Let’s do this together. 💛

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Do you ever find yourself holding back from feeling hope—because deep down, you're afraid of being disappointed, let down, or even embarrassed? You're not alone. In this episode, we explore how learning to build emotional capacity for hope is essential to living a life that feels meaningful, connected, and aligned with who you really are.

You'll learn why hope isn't just a feel-good emotion—it’s a vital ingredient for mental and emotional wellbeing. If you're sensitive, neurodivergent, or simply someone who’s been hurt before, hope can feel risky. But avoiding it? That leads to a life that gets smaller and less satisfying over time. This episode will show you a new way.

We’ll walk through a clear 3-step process for expanding your emotional capacity so that you can open yourself back up to dreaming, desiring, and pursuing the things that actually matter to you. You’ll leave with practical tools, journaling prompts, and a challenge to help you reconnect with possibility—on your own terms.

⏱️ Timestamps & What You’ll Learn:

[0:00 - 3:00] – Why This Matters More Than Ever

A powerful reminder of what’s possible when you allow yourself to feel hope—and what’s at stake when you don’t.

[3:01 - 6:50] – Why Hope Feels Unsafe for So Many Women

Understand the hidden ways you’ve been taught to shut down your dreams and why hope can feel like a risk rather than a resource.

[6:51 - 10:00] – The “Realism” Trap & How It Shrinks Your Life

Explore how being “realistic” often becomes code for “settling”—and how to know if you’ve fallen into that trap.

[10:01 - 14:15] – What Happens When You Avoid Hope

Discover the quiet cost of choosing safety over possibility and how it shows up in your relationships, career, and self-worth.

[14:16 - 18:30] – The Behaviors That Numb Hope—and Why They Don’t Work

From resentment to numbing to self-sabotage, we unpack the habits that develop when you shut out hope—and how to shift them.

[18:31 - 22:00] – What Emotional Capacity Really Is (And Why You Need It)

Learn what it means to actually build your emotional capacity—not just tolerate more stress—and how this changes everything.

[22:01 - 27:00] – The 3-Step Framework for Building Capacity for Hope

Regulate your nervous system

Allow emotions (instead of avoiding them)

Shift your thought patterns with powerful questions

You'll get concrete tools and journaling prompts to start implementing today.

[27:01 - 29:00] – How Avoiding Pain Also Blocks Joy

Understand how protecting yourself from difficult emotions is also limiting your ability to feel joy, connection, and satisfaction.

[29:01 - End] – Your Next Step: Practice Hope, On Purpose

Take on a simple challenge to practice hopeful thinking in the next 24 hours—and learn how you can get deeper support, totally free, through the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership. Head to joinamanda.ca to try it out with no strings attached.

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

🕒 Episode Breakdown:

• [00:00] – Welcome from Hawaii + the surprising truth about not always feeling good in beautiful places
• [01:30] – Why paradise doesn’t fix self-judgment or negative self-talk
• [02:20] – Self love is a choice you make in the moment—not something that comes from the outside
• [03:40] – Real examples from my own life: body image, nervous system, and family tension
• [05:10] – The myth that self-criticism creates accountability or growth
• [06:15] – What practicing real-time self love actually looks like
• [07:20] – Emotions don’t last forever: how to ride the wave instead of resisting it
• [08:00] – Why your brain comes with you—whether it's to Hawaii, weight loss, or success
• [08:40] – An invitation to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership

✨ If this episode resonated with you, click HERE  to learn more about my brand new membership, or come chat with me on Instagram or TikTok @theamandahess.

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

I share my own journey with masking, people-pleasing, and emotional exhaustion—and why so many of us struggle to get our needs met. You’ll learn how to recognize, advocate for, and meet your own emotional needs in a way that fosters emotional empowerment rather than resentment. This episode is about stepping into self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and creating the emotional safety you deserve.

If you're ready for deeper support, join my Love Yourself No Matter What membership for weekly coaching, a private daily podcast, and community support at Amanda-Hess.myKajabi.com/loveyourself . And if you need personalized coaching, book a free consult at amandahess.ca/bookacall.

Detailed Episode Breakdown:

[0:00 - 2:30] Introduction & Why This Matters

• Why so many sensitive and neurodivergent women struggle to have their emotional needs met.
• If you feel like you’re constantly giving without receiving, you are not alone.

[2:30 - 7:45] Why Emotional Needs Often Go Unmet

• The impact of masking and people-pleasing.
• How ignoring your needs leads to exhaustion, resentment, and disconnection.
• My personal experiences with discovering my own emotional needs and the consequences of suppressing them.

[7:45 - 12:30] The Root Causes of Emotional Struggles

• Masking & People-Pleasing: Why saying yes when you mean no makes it harder for people to meet your needs.
• Emotional Intensity & Deep Processing: The stress response cycle (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) and how it impacts emotional regulation.
• Sensory Overload: How our modern world bombards us with too much information, leading to burnout.

[12:30 - 16:45] Identifying Your Core Emotional Needs

• The difference between emotional wants and emotional needs (and why understanding this is so important).
• The four core emotional needs:
• Feeling seen and understood (not just tolerated).
• Deep and meaningful connections.
• Emotional safety and acceptance.
• Balancing predictability with freedom and spontaneity.
• Reflection prompts to help you identify where your emotional needs are not being met.

[16:45 - 22:00] How to Start Meeting Your Own Emotional Needs

• The first step: Grounding yourself and regulating your nervous system.
• Sensory-friendly self-care strategies to help you reset and feel safe in your body.
• How I plan to create emotional safety for myself while on my upcoming family trip to Hawaii.

[22:00 - 27:15] The Importance of Finding the Right Community

• If you feel misunderstood, it may be time to expand your social circle rather than expecting others to change.
• How to find like-minded people online and in-person.
• Why deep conversations are essential for emotional fulfillment.

[27:15 - 31:00] Asking for Help & Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

• Overcoming the fear of being a burden.
• How to approach conversations about your needs without resentment.
• Scripts for clearly communicating your needs in a way that invites support rather than resistance.

[31:00 - 34:00] How to Set Healthy Boundaries & Accept Support

• Boundaries aren’t about controlling others—they’re about protecting yourself.
• Learning to accept support from the right people instead of assuming no one wants to help.
• How to tolerate the discomfort of disappointing others when necessary.

[34:00 - 36:00] Final Thoughts & Next Steps

• Journaling prompt: What emotional needs have I been neglecting, and what’s one small way I can meet them this week?
• CTA #1: Join the Love Yourself No Matter What membership for weekly coaching, daily written coaching, and access to my private podcast at Amanda-Hess.myKajabi.com/loveyourself 
• CTA #2: If you need personalized support, book a free consult at amandahess.ca/bookacall so we can create a plan to help you feel more emotionally fulfilled.

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Episode Breakdown:

🕒 [0:00 - 2:30] | The Lightbulb Moment

• How this topic came to me while driving home from spin class.
• The realization: We’ve been trained to think of ourselves as “convenient” or “inconvenient.”
• The connection between convenience culture and how we treat ourselves.

🕒 [2:30 - 6:00] | The Fast Food Analogy 🍔

• Why we can’t build a strong, fulfilling life using a “fast food” approach.
• The difference between cheap, quick fixes vs. meaningful, long-term investments.
• The impact of always choosing the easiest, lowest-cost option—whether with time, money, or energy.

🕒 [6:00 - 9:30] | The Convenience of Input vs. The Inconvenience of Output

• We often choose what’s easy and efficient (the “fast food” input).
• But that leads to long-term dissatisfaction, burnout, and lack of fulfillment.
• The cycle of cutting corners and why it never leads to real happiness.

🕒 [9:30 - 12:00] | Time Audit: How Much Are You Really Investing in Yourself?

• A quick self-check: How much time do you spend purely on YOU (not for work, family, or others)?
• Why most women answer less than an hour per week—or even zero.
• The hidden consequences of constantly deprioritizing yourself.

🕒 [12:00 - 15:30] | Money Audit: Are You Always Looking for the Cheapest Option?

• A second self-check: How much money have you spent only on yourself in the past year?
• Why we spend so much on family, homes, and responsibilities but almost nothing on ourselves.
• The real cost of only buying things for ourselves if they’re on sale.

🕒 [15:30 - 18:00] | The House vs. Fast Food Comparison 🏡

• When you buy a house, do you pick the absolute cheapest one with poor materials and bad insulation? No!
• Yet, we do this with ourselves—choosing “cheap” solutions instead of quality investments.
• What would happen if you built yourself the way you build a home—thoughtfully, intentionally, with care?

🕒 [18:00 - 20:30] | The Power of Real Self-Investment

• How investing in yourself expands your capacity—to handle stress, relationships, work, and life.
• Why the belief that “investing in myself takes away from others” is a LIE.
• How my personal coaching and self-development investments have made me better in all areas of life.

🕒 [20:30 - 23:00] | Stop Looking for the Quickest Fix

• The obsession with shortcuts and why they often lead to more frustration.
• The importance of consistency over speed.
• Why the “slow, nourishing” approach is the one that actually works.

🕒 [23:00 - 25:00] | Final Thoughts + Action Steps

• How to start making better investments in yourself—with time and money.
• The first step: Start with nervous system regulation (grab my free 5-minute reset at joinamanda.ca).
• A reminder: You deserve more than the clearance section of life.

🎧 Ready to stop treating yourself like fast food? Listen now!

✨ P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe & leave a review!

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Timestamps & Key Takeaways:

[00:00 - 02:00] Introduction

• How the idea of soft strength came up in my coaching and content creation process
• Strength doesn’t always have to be aggressive—there are different ways to embody it

[02:01 - 05:30] The Stigma Around Women’s Strength

• The world often labels strong women as “Karens” or “bitches,” making it harder to advocate for ourselves
• There is nothing wrong with being assertive, but there’s also power in a softer approach
• The balance between pushing through and holding space for yourself

[05:31 - 09:45] Advocating for Yourself Without Emotional Dysregulation

• Strength is not about demanding or yelling—it’s about clarity and self-trust
• How to hold firm boundaries without feeling the need to justify or explain yourself
• The power of approaching boundaries from a place of calm, rather than anger

[09:46 - 14:30] Boundaries in Difficult Relationships

• How boundaries often come up in co-parenting, breakups, and family dynamics
• The difference between setting a boundary from a place of anger vs. a place of self-respect
• Why boundaries aren’t about controlling the other person, but about how you will respond

[14:31 - 17:50] Giving People Back Their Own Feelings

• The tendency to take responsibility for other people’s emotions
• Why we try to “fix” people’s feelings and how it disconnects us instead of bringing us closer
• How to shift from emotional responsibility hoarding to true, open support

[17:51 - 21:30] The Power of Soft Strength in Real-Life Situations

• Personal story: Navigating my mother’s illness and seeing how people tried to “fix” the grief
• The difference between holding space for someone versus trying to change their experience
• The kind of support that truly makes a difference in hard times

[21:31 - 23:00] Final Thoughts & Next Steps

• Soft strength is about showing up as the version of yourself that you want to be
• How to journal on where you can embrace soft strength in your life
• Invitation to book a free consult for 1:1 coaching: amandahess.ca/bookacall

Love this episode? Don’t forget to leave a review! Your support helps more women find this podcast and step into their own power. 💜

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Maggie shares her insights on navigating the discomfort of wanting more for yourself, creating safety in self-discovery, and finding balance in relationships without losing yourself. We also explore how small shifts in perspective can lead to big changes in how you experience your life.

If you've ever felt stuck in over-functioning, struggling to put yourself on your own priority list, this conversation is for you.

Connect with Maggie:

🔹 Listen to The Marriage Life Coach Podcast

🔹 Visit MaggieReyes.com

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps more people find these transformative conversations.

[00:00 - 02:30] | Introduction

• Welcome to the podcast!
• Introduction of special guest Maggie Reyes, a feminist marriage coach and author of The Questions for Couples Journal.
• Amanda shares that Maggie was her first life coach and how her marketing spoke directly to her experience as a Type A woman married to a Type B man.
• Maggie expresses her excitement to be on the show.

[02:31 - 07:45] | The Journey of Coaching & Walking Each Other Home

• Maggie and Amanda reminisce about their coaching journey together.
• Discussion of the Ram Dass quote: “We’re all walking each other home.”
• How coaching is about support rather than hierarchy.
• The power of having someone truly on your side.

[07:46 - 13:30] | The Role of Safety in Coaching & Feminism

• The importance of safety in transformation.
• How therapy provides safety (Stephen Porges’ quote: “Safety is the treatment”), and how in coaching, presence is the most powerful tool.
• The misconception that feminism is about hating men—it’s actually about equality.
• How patriarchal structures affect both men and women.

[13:31 - 19:15] | The ‘Good Girl’ Narrative & Performative Overgiving

• Women are raised to be performative in their goodness—doing what is considered "right" rather than what is right for them.
• The societal pressure to put others first and suppress personal desires.
• The idea of being selfish when prioritizing oneself.
• Real-life examples of how this manifests (e.g., feeling guilty about skipping a family barbecue).

[19:16 - 25:00] | Resentment & Overextension: How It Builds & Why It’s a Red Flag

• Women over-functioning, over-committing, and then experiencing resentment.
• The concept of low-grade annoyance—a warning sign that needs attention.
• How burnout sneaks up when you always “do unto others” but never do unto yourself.
• The social conditioning behind why women struggle to say no.

[25:01 - 31:00] | Learning to Want Again: The Importance of Small Desires

• Women often lose touch with their own desires.
• The practice of reconnecting with small wants (e.g., picking a TV show, choosing breakfast).
• Amanda’s example: Wanting to be a singer on The Voice—allowing yourself to dream without judgment.
• Maggie’s personal example: Wanting lemonade at Gloria Estefan’s house!

[31:01 - 36:45] | Practical Steps: Reclaiming Time & Making Space for Yourself

• Reframing your identity beyond just being a mom or wife.
• “What if you had a third child—and that child was you?” (A great way to think about self-care.)
• Learning to recognize red flags of overgiving.
• Starting with small changes—reducing unnecessary commitments instead of drastic life overhauls.

[36:46 - 42:00] | Handling Resistance & Discomfort from Others

• When you start setting boundaries, expect pushback.
• How to navigate disappointment from family, kids, or partners.
• Viewing parenting differently: Kids learn resilience by experiencing disappointment.
• The role of safety when stepping into your power—why taking small steps matters.

[42:01 - 46:00] | Final Thoughts & Where to Find Maggie

• Recap of the biggest takeaways:
• Noticing performative behaviors.
• Prioritizing yourself without guilt.
• Understanding feminism as empowerment, not opposition to men.
• Amanda thanks Maggie for the conversation.
• Maggie shares how to connect with her:
• Listen to The Marriage Life Coach Podcast
• Visit MaggieReyes.com
• Encouragement for listeners to reflect on what they truly want.

Maggie Reyes is a Master Certified Life Coach and Modern Marriage Mentor who specializes in helping driven, ambitious women create their best marriages, without waiting for their partners to change or adding more work to their lives.

She is the creator of The Marriage MBA Program, a 6 month mentorship in creating a successful marriage using principles from positive psychology, cognitive science and simple coaching tools that you can learn today and apply tomorrow.

Maggie is the author of the best selling Questions for Couples Journal  which has over 3,000 4 star ratings on Amazon. 

And she is the host of the The Marriage Life Coach Podcast which is consistently ranked among the top 2 percent podcasts out of over 2 million podcasts tracked by ListenNotes. 

When she isn’t teaching or coaching she loves obsessing over Formula 1 Racing, Bridgerton, reading fan fiction, sexy romance novels and watching superhero movies and Mexican Rom Coms with her hubby.  

If you want to learn how to stop doing the things that poison the love in a relationship and start doing the things that make love stronger, you can find the tools to create your best marriage at MaggieReyes.com.

Links 

https://maggiereyes.com/

https://maggiereyes.com/podcast/

https://www.instagram.com/themaggiereyes/

Maggie Reyes

Life Coach + Marriage Mentor

www.MaggieReyes.com

To listen to The Marriage Life Coach Podcast Click Here.

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

We’ve been taught that being the “good girl” means putting everyone else first, but at what cost? I explore the impact of this mindset, the necessity of rest, and how learning to prioritize yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential.  

I also share insights from my own life, from skating as an adult to teaching spin class, and what they reveal about growth, failure, and nervous system regulation. Plus, I give you a sneak peek into next week’s episode, where we’ll talk even more about breaking free from outdated expectations.  

✨ **Follow me on Instagram (@theamandahess) and TikTok for more insights.**

Ready for deeper support? Book a free discovery call at [amandahess.ca](http://amandahess.ca).  

🔹 **(00:00) – Welcome & Life Updates**  

I’m getting ready for a trip to Puerto Rico for a business mastermind and reflecting on how exciting (and exhausting) travel can be.  

🔹 **(02:15) – Why So Many of Us Stop Wanting**  

As we move through life, we often stop prioritizing what *we* want. Instead, we live in a performative way, following the expectations placed upon us.  

🔹 **(05:30) – The Epidemic of Burnout & Over-Giving**  

Women are taught to give endlessly—our time, energy, and love. But where does that leave *us*? If you’re feeling exhausted, it’s time to take a step back and reassess.  

🔹 **(08:10) – The Role of Nervous System Regulation in Change**  

Figuring out what you want requires stepping outside of your comfort zone, which can be unsettling. That’s why nervous system regulation is *key* to making lasting shifts.  

🔹 **(11:20) – A Client’s Story: The Travel Trailer vs. The Boat**  

A powerful real-life example of how we unconsciously say no to ourselves in order to accommodate others—and how that can slowly erode our sense of self.  

🔹 **(14:35) – Why You Need Intentional Time for Yourself**  

You can’t figure out what you want by cramming self-care into the cracks of your day. Intentional time is essential to reconnecting with yourself.  

🔹 **(17:10) – The Finish Line Myth: You’re Already Enough**  

We often think we’ll be “enough” once we achieve certain milestones. But what if the real goal is realizing *you’re already enough* just as you are?  

🔹 **(19:45) – Sneak Peek: My Conversation with Maggie Reyes**  

Next week, I’ll be sharing a conversation with my former marriage coach, Maggie Reyes. She shares a game-changing mindset shift: treating yourself as if you were one of your kids—prioritizing *your* needs just as much as you prioritize theirs.  

🔹 **(21:00) – Final Thoughts & Next Steps**  

What would it take for you to prioritize yourself today? If you’re feeling stuck, coaching might be the next step. DM me on Instagram (@theamandahess) or book a free discovery call at [amandahess.ca](http://amandahess.ca).  

---

🎧 **Subscribe & Follow**  

💡 Instagram: [@theamandahess](https://www.instagram.com/theamandahess)  

💡 TikTok: [@theamandahess](https://www.tiktok.com/@theamandahess)  

💡 Free Discovery Call: [amandahess.ca](http://amandahess.ca)  

📌 **Save this episode** if you need to hear this message again—and make sure to tune in next week for my conversation with Maggie Reyes!  

---

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

If you’ve ever wondered whether coaching is right for you or how it differs from therapy, this episode will give you the clarity you need!

🔹 Want to experience coaching firsthand? Join my upcoming masterclass for just $10 at joinamanda.ca.

Timestamps:

[00:00] - Introduction

• Why I felt called to record this episode.
• The common misunderstanding between coaching and therapy.

[02:15] - Why People Seek Coaching & How It Compares to Therapy

• Many women come to coaching feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or emotionally dysregulated.
• Coaching is not cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), though they have some overlaps.

[05:30] - What Coaching Looks Like in Practice

• The first step in coaching is creating emotional safety.
• I help clients regulate their nervous system so they can start thinking more clearly.
• Simple tools like breathwork, movement, sensory engagement, and scheduling self-care.

[09:45] - The Shift from Emotional Regulation to Thought Work

• Coaching helps you change how you think—not just what you think.
• We begin questioning deeply ingrained beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
• The difference between coaching and therapy: coaching is solution-focused and actionable.

[14:00] - How Social Conditioning Holds Women Back

• Many of us have been taught to prioritize others’ needs over our own.
• People-pleasing, overworking, and feeling like life is a performance rather than something you truly live.
• How coaching helps you break free from these patterns and create a life that feels aligned.

[18:30] - Why Questioning Your Thoughts Is the Key to Transformation

• Most of us believe our thoughts are absolute truths, but they’re just perspectives.
• When we start questioning what we think is “right” or “necessary,” we unlock real change.
• Coaching teaches you to reshape your mindset so you can take control of your life.

[22:00] - Closing Thoughts & Next Steps

• The power of coaching in shifting your mindset and daily experience.
• Want to dive deeper? Join my upcoming masterclass for just $10 at joinamanda.ca.
• Connect with me on Instagram & TikTok (@TheAmandaHess) or book a free consult at amandahess.ca/bookacall.

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

We often feel like we’re not enough, whether in relationships, careers, or personal growth. But the truth is, self-worth is intrinsic—it’s something we are born with, not something we have to earn. The challenge is not about proving our worth but learning how to navigate fear, self-doubt, and emotions so they don’t hold us back.

I share how shifting our perspective on self-worth can transform our confidence and overall experience of life. Instead of trying to “feel good enough,” we should focus on processing emotions, balancing our inner world, and taking action despite fear.

If this resonates with you, I’m hosting a confidence masterclass on February 11th to go even deeper into these ideas. You can register at joinamanda.ca. Let’s build the life we truly want—without questioning our worth.

Tune in and let’s talk self-worth!

📌 00:00 – 02:00 | Introduction & Podcast Milestone

• Amanda reflects on reaching 245 podcast episodes and how over 130,000 people have listened.
• She realizes she’s never done a full episode on self-worth before, which surprises her.
• Welcomes both new and returning listeners.

📌 02:00 – 05:00 | Why Self-Worth is Important

• Many women struggle with feeling “not good enough.”
• Self-worth influences confidence, happiness, and fulfillment in life.
• A common belief: “I don’t feel like I have self-worth” → This thinking keeps us stuck.

📌 05:00 – 08:00 | The Truth About Self-Worth

• Self-worth is intrinsic—it’s not something we earn, prove, or lose.
• Example: A newborn baby has full worth despite doing nothing—why wouldn’t that be true for adults?
• Key takeaway: We don’t have to search for or create self-worth—it’s already there.

📌 08:00 – 11:00 | The Danger of Trying to "Earn" Self-Worth

• Many people chase self-worth through:
• Productivity & success
• Relationships & approval
• Physical appearance & achievements
• But when is it ever enough? The cycle never ends because we’re looking in the wrong place.

📌 11:00 – 14:00 | The Real Issue: Fear, Not Lack of Self-Worth

• People often say, “I’m not starting because I don’t feel good enough.”
• The real issue is fear of failure, rejection, or uncertainty.
• Example: Dating fears → It’s not about self-worth but about learning to navigate emotions like fear and uncertainty.

📌 14:00 – 17:00 | How to Navigate Fear & Build Confidence

• You don’t need more self-worth—you need to get comfortable with discomfort.
• Confidence comes from:
• Feeling fear and taking action anyway.
• Learning to regulate emotions.
• Trusting yourself to handle challenges.
• The key is not avoiding fear but learning to process it.

📌 17:00 – 20:00 | Empowering Yourself Instead of Feeling Stuck

• Feeling “not enough” leads to feeling powerless.
• Instead of trying to feel worthy, ask: “What do I actually want, and how do I get there?”
• Learning to navigate emotions like fear, frustration, and overwhelm leads to real confidence.

📌 20:00 – 22:00 | Closing & Confidence Masterclass Invitation

• You already have self-worth—you don’t need to prove it.
• The real work is learning how to navigate emotions and take action despite fear.
• If this resonates, join the Confidence Masterclass on February 11th to dive deeper.
• Register at: joinamanda.ca
• Time: 5 PM PST / 8 PM EST
• Cost: $9.95 USD
• Final message: You are already enough—now, let’s focus on creating the life you want.

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Labels can offer clarity, community, and tools for growth, but they can also hold us back when we use them to justify staying stuck. Together, we’ll unpack why our brains love labels, how to recognize when they’re helping versus hurting, and the steps you can take to break free from limiting beliefs.

This episode is packed with actionable insights to help you shift your mindset, regulate your emotions, and create a life that feels fulfilling and aligned—no matter what challenges or labels you’re navigating. Whether it’s ADHD, dyslexia, or the dreaded “people pleaser” identity, I’ll show you how to turn your labels into stepping stones instead of roadblocks.

💡 Ready to dive deeper? Join me for my masterclass on January 30th to learn how to build confidence, self-esteem, and emotional resilience. Grab your spot at joinamanda.ca.

📞 Or book a free discovery call with me at amandahess.ca/bookacall.

Let’s rewrite your story—one empowering step at a time.

[00:01] Introduction

• Why labels are such a significant topic and how they often impact my clients’ results.
• The invitation to listen with an open heart and curiosity.

[02:45] The Human Brain’s Need for Efficiency

• How our brains naturally create and use labels to categorize information.
• Understanding subconscious vs. conscious brain activity.

[07:10] How Labels Serve Us

• Labels as tools for understanding ourselves and finding community.
• Examples: ADHD, ASD, and dyslexia—what they reveal and how they can guide us.

[14:30] When Labels Hold Us Back

• The dangers of over-identifying with labels and how they limit potential.
• Why “I can’t do this because of [label]” is a thought, not a fact.

[21:00] Emotional Responsibility and Regulation

• The importance of taking charge of your emotional well-being.
• Practical tips for handling overwhelm, procrastination, and executive dysfunction.

[28:45] Rewriting the Narrative

• Shifting from “this is just how I am” to “this is something I can work with.”
• Personal examples of how I’ve navigated labels like sensitivity and depression.

[34:20] Individuality Beyond Labels

• Why no two people are exactly the same, even within shared labels.
• How to embrace your unique personality while working through challenges.

[38:55] Practical Coaching Insights

• How to dissect specific struggles (e.g., procrastination, people-pleasing) for tailored solutions.
• The importance of nervous system regulation and intentional self-coaching.

[47:10] Final Thoughts and Encouragement

• Why nothing about you is permanent and everything is figureoutable.
• A reminder to use labels as tools for empowerment, not barriers to success.

[50:30] Ways to Work With Me

• Masterclass: Join me on January 30th at 5 PM PST / 8 PM EST for an interactive session on building confidence and self-esteem. Sign up at joinamanda.ca.
• Discovery Calls: Book a free call at amandahess.ca/bookacall to explore personalized coaching options.

Let’s break free from limiting labels and create a life that truly reflects your potential.

Don’t forget to leave a review if you enjoyed this episode—it helps me reach more amazing women like you! See you next week!

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

[00:00] - Welcome and Topic Introduction

• I start by talking about one of my favorite coaching topics: confidence.
• I explain what confidence really is, why it’s essential, and how you can create it in your life.

[03:10] - The Human Need for Confidence

• Confidence isn’t just nice to have—it’s a human necessity for fulfillment and satisfaction.
• It’s that feeling you get when you believe you can do something well.

[06:45] - Confidence in New Challenges

• When people want to make big changes in their lives, the one emotion they feel they need most is confidence.
• I share examples like public speaking, asking for a raise, and dating authentically to show how confidence impacts everything we do.

[10:00] - Understanding Confidence

• Confidence comes from competence—knowing how to do something well.
• I explain how competence is built through practice, learning, and persistence.

[15:30] - The Process of Building Confidence

1. Start, even if it’s scary.
2. Embrace failure as a necessary step in learning.
3. Reevaluate what’s working and try again.
4. Competence grows over time, and so does confidence.

[20:45] - My Journey to Confidence

• I share a personal story about starting a direct sales career while battling nerves and fear.
• Through consistent practice and persistence, I built confidence by becoming competent in what I was doing.

[28:00] - Navigating Fear and Building Resilience

• Confidence isn’t about being fearless—it’s about learning to navigate fear.
• Building resilience and emotional capacity helps you push through discomfort and setbacks.

[33:20] - Practical Takeaways

• Think about the areas where you want to grow your confidence: relationships, career, finances, or something else.
• Start small, shift your mindset, and take intentional actions toward your goals.
• Confidence comes from building resilience and creating competence.

[39:15] - Upcoming Confidence Training

• I’m hosting a two-hour live training where I’ll teach you:
• Why confidence is essential.
• What blocks it.
• How to create it for yourself.
• You can register at joinamanda.ca.

[41:00] - Closing Thoughts

• Confidence is the key to living a fulfilled, joyful life, and it’s something you can create.
• If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review—it helps the podcast grow and reach more women.
• If you need personalized support, book a free consult at amandahess.ca/bookacall.

Tune in next week for another empowering episode!

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

[2:00] Why Ryanne Chose Coaching

Ryanne explains how she felt unsettled and overwhelmed before starting coaching.

She shares her experiences with therapy, which helped her understand her past but left her feeling stuck without tools to move forward.

After a friend’s recommendation and realizing her nervous system was out of balance, she decided to give coaching a try.

[6:30] Early Days of Coaching

Ryanne talks about the first steps we took together, focusing on managing anxiety and finding small coping mechanisms that worked for her.

She discovered sensory tools, like essential oils, which became a key part of her calming routine.

We shifted the focus from revisiting the past to creating strategies to move forward.

[12:15] Emotional Regulation and Self-Compassion

I explain how we worked on recognizing and riding emotional waves without judgment.

Ryanne reflects on learning self-compassion and how changing her inner dialogue made a significant difference.

We discuss the importance of separating emotions from reactions and becoming an observer of our feelings.

[18:45] Anxiety and Self-Acceptance

Ryanne shares her experience with anxiety and being diagnosed with ADHD.

I helped her reframe anxiety as a sign of care rather than a flaw or something to eliminate.

She explains how tools like journaling and nervous system regulation gave her space to navigate emotions and grow.

[25:00] Relationships and Triggers

We talk about how anxiety often shows up in relationships, triggering reactions tied to past experiences.

Ryanne shares how she learned to manage her emotions, communicate better, and regain clarity in her relationships.

[30:45] Building Confidence and the Snowball Effect

Ryanne discusses how small, consistent steps built her confidence over time.

I explain the importance of viewing self-growth as a process, not a destination.

She highlights how prioritizing physical health, like working out and eating nutritious food, supported her emotional well-being.

[38:30] Achieving Professional and Financial Goals

Ryanne shares how she hit a financial goal during our time working together.

She talks about shifting her mindset from dread to excitement in her career.

We worked on balancing her emotional bandwidth while staying motivated and productive.

[45:15] Self-Love and Acceptance

Ryanne reflects on how coaching helped her reconnect with her authentic self and embrace her strengths.

I remind listeners that they don’t need to become someone else—they already are enough. It’s about revealing and embracing who they truly are.

[50:30] The Transformation Process

Ryanne shares how coaching helped her feel less frantic and more grounded.

She talks about how small steps led to big changes, making her self-talk more positive and her confidence more natural.

I emphasize the importance of celebrating progress and being patient with yourself.

[56:00] Closing Thoughts

Ryanne encourages anyone considering coaching to take the leap, even if it feels like a small step.

I express my gratitude for Ryanne sharing her story and remind listeners how transformative coaching can be.

[58:30] Call to Action

I invite listeners who relate to Ryanne’s journey to book a call with me at amandahess.ca

I share that we can explore what’s going on for them and start working toward transformation.

[59:00] Wrap-Up

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

- I recorded this episode on January 1st for my private, client-only podcast.

- I’m sharing it here so you can get a feel for my day-to-day support and also to highlight the core message on shifting from goal-setting to vision creation.

- I’m hosting a **90-minute Emotional Mastery Workshop** on January 8th, 2025, where I’ll guide attendees to:

 - Reclaim control of their emotions and thoughts.

 - Align with their deepest desires.

 - Wake up daily with confidence, clarity, and joy.

- This workshop is open to only 10 people, so anyone interested can sign up at joinamanda.ca

[03:30] **My Reflection on 2025**

- I’m amazed that we’re already in 2025 and how time seems to fly.

- I want to shift the focus from typical goal-setting to **vision creation** because I find it more effective, fulfilling, and less anxiety-inducing.

[04:15] **Why I Favor Vision Creation Over Goal Setting**

- **Traditional Goal Setting** often makes us tie our self-worth to the outcome. If I meet the goal, I’m “good enough,” and if I don’t, I’m not.

- In my own life, I’ve gone to extremes when I was strictly “goal-oriented”—like unhealthy weight-loss methods—just to hit a target.

- **Vision Creation**, on the other hand, centers on the experience I want to cultivate and the values I want to honor.

[08:45] **How I Approach Vision Creation**

1. **Start with Emotions**:  

  - I ask myself which emotions I want to prioritize this year (e.g., peace, joy, satisfaction, love).  

  - These emotions become the foundation for my choices and actions.

2. **Align Goals with Values**:  

  - If satisfaction and joy are my priorities, I’ll check whether my goals—say, earning a certain amount of money—fit with these emotions.  

  - My actions will then be powered by feelings that are sustainable, rather than driven by anxiety or external pressure.

[12:00] **Decoupling Self-Worth from Achievements**

- I remind myself that my value as a person isn’t dependent on hitting a specific milestone.

- When I create a vision, I keep my self-worth separate from the final outcome. This frees me from burnout and fosters genuine growth.

[14:15] **Practical Steps for Vision Creation**

- I reflect on questions like:

 - *What are the emotions I want to feel every day in 2025?*

 - *What values guide the life I’m building?*

 - *How can I take actions that align with these emotions and values?*

- This process gives me a sense of control, clarity, and consistent momentum.

[16:45] **My Offer to Help**

- If you’re my client, feel free to bring this up in our next session. I’d love to dive deeper and create a personalized vision for you.

- If you’re not a client but have access to this podcast, I invite you to book a **discovery call** at amandahess.ca. It’s a great way to explore how we can work together on your vision.

[18:00] **Closing & Call to Action**

- I encourage you to review these steps and start crafting your 2025 vision.

- Please consider leaving a review—it helps my podcast reach more people who need this message.

- If you’re ready to stop managing stress and anxiety alone, book a free consult with me at amandahess.ca

**Happy New Year, and here’s to a fulfilling and vision-driven 2025!**

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

Timestamps:

[00:00] Welcome & Holiday Reflections

I share some Christmas Eve thoughts and how I’m preparing to help you create an incredible new year.

[02:45] Announcing My Free Masterclass

Details about “A New Year, A New You: Let’s End Overthinking” on December 30th at 5 PM PT / 8 PM ET. (Register at joinamanda.ca)

[05:30] Why Overthinking Happens

I discuss the common triggers of overthinking, from circumstantial stress to low-level anxiety.

[08:10] The Tug-of-War Analogy

Learn why trying to “logic” your way out of strong emotions often makes things worse.

[12:00] Overthinking vs. Emotional Safety

How overthinking arises from feelings of shame, guilt, worry, or fear—and why battling these emotions with thoughts doesn’t work.

[16:20] The Key to Breaking Free: Nervous System Regulation

I explain the importance of feeling emotions in your body and regulating your nervous system to reduce overthinking.

[19:40] Why “Positive Thinking” Isn’t the Solution

Discover why replacing negative thoughts with positive ones isn’t always effective.

[23:00] The Role of Specificity in Solving Problems

How focusing on specific issues instead of trying to “fix yourself” can change the way you think.

[27:15] Why Overthinking Wastes Time and Energy

I highlight how overthinking stops you from solving problems and reaching your goals.

[30:00] How You Can Take the Next Step

Why 2025 is your year to master your thoughts, control your emotions, and create the life you want.

[33:30] Final Thoughts & Call to Action

I encourage you to join my free masterclass and leave a review to help this podcast reach more women like you.

Links & Resources:

• Register for my free masterclass: A New Year, A New You: Let’s End Overthinking → joinamanda.ca
• Book a free consult with me → amandahess.ca/bookacall

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess

- **[1:00]** - Today, we’re diving deep into *emotional mastery*. You’ll learn how this transformative process can help you handle stress, build resilience, and create a life you love.

---

### The Big Idea: Every Problem Is an Emotions Problem

- **[2:30]** - I’ll show you why emotional mastery is the key to solving issues in relationships, parenting, money, career, and more.

- **[3:15]** - By the end of this episode, you’ll understand why emotions are at the root of so many challenges and how mastering them can change everything.

---

### A Client's Journey: Proof It’s Possible

- **[5:00]** - You’ll hear how one of my clients went from feeling stuck and overwhelmed to confident and in control using the emotional mastery process.

- **[6:15]** - I’ll share my own story too—how I broke free from constant pressure and perfectionism—and how you can do the same.

---

### Understanding Emotions

- **[7:45]** - You’ll learn what emotions really are (hint: they’re not thoughts!) and why understanding them is crucial.

- **[8:30]** - I’ll explain the stress responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—and how they might be running your life without you even realizing it.

- **[10:00]** - You’ll start to see why emotional distress keeps happening and what you can do to stop it.

---

### Step 1: Proactive Nervous System Regulation

- **[12:00]** - Discover the difference between "911" nervous system regulation (what to do in the moment) and preventative practices (how to build resilience over time).

- **[13:30]** - I’ll show you easy, practical ways to regulate your nervous system daily—without spending a ton of time or money.

- **[15:00]** - You’ll leave with actionable tools to build emotional capacity so you can handle stressors without feeling overwhelmed.

---

### Step 2: Understanding and Guiding Emotions

- **[17:30]** - I’ll teach you how to interpret emotions as messengers rather than fighting or ignoring them.

- **[19:00]** - You’ll learn how to "ride the wave" of emotion without being overtaken by it—and how this simple skill can dramatically change your life.

- **[20:45]** - By the end of this section, you’ll know how to stop reacting to emotions impulsively and start directing them intentionally.

---

### Step 3: Creating Productive Thoughts, Beliefs, and Support Systems

- **[22:30]** - Learn why your current thoughts may be keeping you stuck and how to change the way you think for good.

- **[24:00]** - I’ll guide you through building beliefs about self-worth, lovability, and what’s possible for your future.

- **[25:30]** - You’ll walk away with a clear understanding of how to replace self-criticism with self-advocacy and start living the life you truly want.

---

### What Emotional Mastery Will Do for You

- **[27:00]** - By mastering this process, you’ll gain self-love, resilience, confidence, and fulfillment.

- **[28:15]** - You’ll see how emotional mastery impacts every area of your life, from your relationships to your career, and even your day-to-day joy.

---

### My Coaching Program: Take This Further

- **[29:30]** - I’ll share how my *Emotional Mastery Coaching Program* works and how it can help you create the life you’ve been dreaming of.

- **[31:00]** - You’ll learn what’s included: one-on-one coaching, daily private podcasts, and access to transformative trainings—all designed to help you succeed.

---

### Actionable Takeaways and Next Steps

- **[33:00]** - Before you go, I’ll help you reflect on how emotional mastery can shift your life—and encourage you to take the next step by booking a free consultation with me.

- **[34:30]** - Don’t forget: Every change starts with a decision. Let’s explore together how to make emotional mastery your reality.

---

### Closing

- **[35:00]** - Thank you for joining me today! Remember, a new episode drops every week. If you found this helpful, leave a review and share it with someone who needs it.

** Ready to take the next step? Book your free consultation now at [amandahess.ca/bookacall](https://amandahess.ca/bookacall). Let’s create the life you’ve always wanted!

Interested in working with me? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca

Want to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself

Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess