In this episode of Journey to Grateful, we explore the hidden emotional labor of grief—the way grieving people often edit their truth, soften their pain, or say “I’m fine” to protect others from discomfort. Inspired by a powerful piece of writing from Jessica Everett-Ellerman, this conversation examines why managing other people’s emotions is not part of your responsibility as a griever—and how telling the truth about your grief can be an act of self-care, not selfishness.

We talk about why grief doesn’t heal in silence, why honesty matters even when it’s uncomfortable, and how releasing the need to make grief palatable creates space for real healing—for you, and for those learning how to walk alongside you.

If you’ve ever felt pressure to shrink your grief to make others comfortable, this episode is a reminder: you are allowed to tell the truth. You are allowed to take up space. And you do not owe anyone comfort at the expense of your own healing.

In this episode of Journey to Grateful, I reflect on what it means to move through a new year while carrying loss. I introduce the concept of gentle goals, a compassionate alternative to traditional resolutions, rooted in care, steadiness, and grace rather than productivity or expectation.

This conversation is an invitation to release comparison, soften self-judgment, and redefine progress in a way that honors grief instead of working against it. Whether you’re newly grieving, years into your journey, or supporting someone you love, this episode offers reassurance that you are not behind, and that tending to yourself may be the most meaningful intention of all.

This conversation is about learning to be at peace in transition — to honor what was while gently stepping into what’s next.

When we understand that grief will always be part of our lives, just as our love for the person we lost will always be part of us, something shifts. We begin to give ourselves grace. We stop believing there’s a finish line to healing. And we start to see that living with grief isn’t failure — it’s a form of love that continues.

Join me as I talk about how this mindset can help us find strength, educate others about the reality of grief, and let go of the pressure to “move on.” Whether you’re grieving yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers perspective, compassion, and truth about what it really means to walk with grief for the rest of our lives.

In this episode, When Grief Meets Hope: Stories of Meaning Found in the Aftermath, we explore what it means to hold both grief and hope at the same time — to find light without feeling like we’ve betrayed the darkness.

I share how meaning slowly found its way into my own life after loss, and how it continues to shape the work I do today. I also share a deeply personal story — how my late wife, Colleen, once chose hope after losing her first husband, and how her courage to believe in life again led to the life we built together.

This conversation isn’t about “moving on.” It’s about learning how love, loss, and hope can coexist — and how, in time, we can begin to live again while honoring what was lost. Whether you’re newly grieving or years down this road, this episode is a reminder that hope can exist even in the aftermath… and that the love we carry forward is often where meaning begins.

In this episode, we’ll explore those quieter, often unspoken parts of loss: the relationships that fade, the routines that change, and the identities we’re forced to rebuild. Together, we’ll shine a light on what often goes unseen — validating both those just beginning to feel these losses and those still navigating them years later. Because acknowledging them isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a step toward healing, understanding, and reclaiming the life that still waits ahead.

Through the lens of “same storm, different boats,” I share why it’s important to honor every grief story without judgment and how choosing to witness another’s pain instead of comparing it can create deeper healing for us all.

If you’ve ever felt like someone dismissed your grief, or if you’ve caught yourself comparing your loss to another’s, this episode is a reminder: different losses, different pain, but the same need — to discover how to keep going.

Now, more than five years after my wife Colleen’s passing, I share how grief continues to show up in unexpected ways, including during a recent milestone moment: moving my son to college. While many see such moments as purely joyful, they can also reopen the wound of absence, reminding us of the chapters we were meant to share with those we’ve lost.

This conversation explores the ache of feeling left behind, the weight of disenfranchised grief, and why grief can still feel raw years later. I also offer ways to stay grounded when the support fades—through speaking their name, finding new circles of understanding, and creating small rituals to keep love present.

If you’ve ever felt like your grief is “too much” or wondered why it still hurts long after others think it should have eased, this episode is a reminder: grief has no timeline, and neither does love.

If you’ve recently experienced a loss, you may be wondering why your body feels so off. You’re not alone. Grief activates our stress responses, affects our sleep, and shows up in ways we never expected — and understanding these changes is an important part of healing.

This episode shares personal insight and gentle guidance to help you recognize your body’s signals and respond with compassion instead of frustration. Whether you’re early in your grief or walking alongside someone who is, this episode offers validation, understanding, and a reminder: your body remembers because your love was real.

Topics in this episode include:

• Why grief causes fatigue, brain fog, and body aches

• The link between grief and anxiety

• How trauma and loss affect your nervous system

• Gentle ways to listen to your body and support your healing

In this episode of Journey to Grateful, we delve into the quiet, often unspoken aspect of grief: invisible losses. These are the “almosts,” the “what-ifs,” and the “we never got to…” moments that live in the background of our mourning.

If you’ve ever felt the ache of a missed goodbye or the emptiness of a dream unfulfilled, this conversation is for you.

Today, I’ll challenge myself to answer a simple, yet profound prompt: Grief, in a word, is… Through reflection and raw honesty, I hope to uncover truths about this journey we share — not the polished versions, but the real, sometimes less spoken-about moments of loss and healing. Join me as we discover together what grief truly is.

But as we step into a new year, I want to revisit a profound part of grief that caught me off guard in my first year of loss—the constant struggle between “before” and “after.” It’s not just a passing thought; it’s a lens through which we unconsciously filter our memories, marking moments as either before or after our loved one was gone. In today’s episode, we’ll explore why this distinction becomes so significant and how awareness of it can help us navigate grief with grace and confidence.

Those are the moments we need to move to the top of our “to-do” list—to fully appreciate them as they’re happening. Because after losing someone dear, your days can quickly fill with "what-ifs" and "should-haves" that linger far too long. So, let’s explore how to truly cherish those everyday moments, big or small, and why it’s such an important, albeit challenging, goal to pursue.

Does it still loom? Yes, in its own way. Is it as oppressive? Not like that first year. This is holiday grief, and sadly, it’s something everyone will face at some point in their lives. There’s no clear guidebook for navigating it, no perfect way to manage the milestones it brings.

In this episode, I’ll share my experiences and some suggestions others have shared with me about how to walk through moments like these. At the very least, I hope to offer some insight into what you might expect as you face your own holiday grief.

Grief can sometimes make us complacent—too comfortable with the routines we’ve established to cope. We might find ourselves stagnant, unwilling to take steps forward to face our loss in healthier ways. That’s when a pivot can make all the difference. Adjusting how we approach, manage, or confront our grief can help us move out of that rut and open up a new perspective—a path toward healing.

Today, I want to talk about what it's like to keep "trying" while grieving and how it can feel like you're constantly falling short. I also want to share a few simple things you can do when you feel like you just can’t anymore. The title gives away one of the most effective strategies, and I'll explain why it's so crucial for us to start thinking about it right now.

You might think self-care is just a marketing buzzword that has nothing to do with you or your grief journey. But I'm here to explain that self-care is crucial for navigating grief and important to incorporate into your daily routine, just like exercise or nutrition.

Talking about self-care in the context of grief can be uncomfortable for many. As humans, we often love deeply, and after losing those who brought us so much happiness, we might feel unworthy of being happy again. Yet, we are still here, stumbling through paths where "normal" used to be, aimlessly navigating grief without a road map or destination.

Self-care plays a significant role in guiding us on our path with grief. It offers a healthier way to rebuild ourselves while walking with grief and everything that comes with it.

Here are the Five Grief Lessons discussed in today's episode:

Lesson 1 - How to Help Someone Grieving in the Initial Weeks

Lesson 2 - Time Does Not Diminish Grief

Lesson 3 - Grief is Like Glitter

Lesson 4 - Wash the Orange Cup … When the Time is Right

Lesson 5 - Grief is a Coral Reef

Similarly, what can be said about being the first to experience significant loss or the last in your friend group to do so? Are there positives or negatives involved in these particular firsts and lasts of life? Let's take a moment to delve deeper into this topic and consider any experiences you might have had that highlight the benefits or drawbacks of being first or last in significant life events.

Many people have encountered anticipatory grief without recognizing its name or concept. Reflecting on personal experiences and discussions with others, it has become evident that this form of grief is more common than initially perceived. Bringing attention to anticipatory grief aims to shed light on it for those unfamiliar, reframing knowledge as understanding, which empowers individuals navigating grief. Understanding anticipatory grief can ease the journey through bereavement and offer valuable insights into the grieving process as a whole.

A common thread emerges from their messages, detailing their ongoing efforts to navigate various aspects of moving forward and coping with grief in their daily lives. They generously share their triumphs and concerns, hoping that their experiences might offer solace or guidance to others facing similar challenges.

The reality of taking steps toward progress and learning to live with grief often diverges from preconceived notions. In this episode, I invite you to join me as I relay, in their own words, the journeys of these individuals as they strive to move forward amidst grief as I interject my own.

Family manifests in various forms throughout our lives, and amidst grief, it often extends to support groups comprised of individuals we may have never crossed paths with until the moment external support becomes indispensable. In today's episode, I engage in a conversation with a friend and colleague about the significance of these support groups, sharing our personal experiences and expressing gratitude for the newfound family we've discovered within them.

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In a previous episode, I discussed five strategies for reconnecting with life. In conclusion, I shared a powerful notion: "The idea of living forward can truly empower you to strive for and create a life you might have thought was done, and, in turn, it will allow you to do something equally incredible… and that is living beyond grief."

Today, I want to explore the meaning behind that concluding phrase and reflect on my actions over nearly four years to successfully "live beyond grief." Strangely enough, the measure of my success remains uncertain, at least in my perception. I question whether I will ever truly feel successful in this endeavor, yet one certainty prevails—I will persist in my efforts.

Join me in this discussion as I explore the concept of Living Beyond Grief, sharing my perspective on what is necessary to achieve it and how we can collectively support one another in pursuing this challenging yet worthwhile goal.

• • •

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It's essential to acknowledge the task's difficulty, but with a proactive mindset and the right tools, we can more successfully embark on the journey of moving forward. Now, let's dive into our discussion and explore these empowering strategies that aim to guide us toward reconnecting with life amidst grief.

In this episode, the suggestion is made that, even amid grief, each individual possesses the power to influence the unfolding story ahead. The approach chosen for each day holds sway over the story being written. In any given moment in a day, you may experience grief and sorrow, but simultaneously, you embody life, joy, love, strength, inspiration, purpose, gratefulness, and so much more.

In my search for such a perspective, I stumbled upon an article that has the potential to offer each of us a much-needed, refreshing viewpoint. Though the subject matter is intricate, at its core, the message is simple—coming from the most unexpected source: children. That, precisely, is why I've chosen to share this today. Navigating and surviving grief often leads us to overlook simple things that could aid in our survival. Our perspective on life can easily be obscured by the weight of grief, causing us to forget the importance of one fundamental element: love. In the midst of grief, we may misplace our appreciation for any remaining love, thereby becoming blind to the lessons learned, the moments witnessed, and the experiences accumulated over time. Today, I want to delve into the theme of love and our forgotten capacity for it as we navigate through grief and move toward whatever lies ahead. Let's embark on this journey together and rediscover an essential piece of our path.

I urge you to accompany me as I express my thoughts, realizations, and experiences on this matter and encourage you to contribute your own insights to the ongoing conversation.

As human beings navigating the journey of grief, there are moments when we simply have to acknowledge and embrace the reality that we're not okay. Feeling emotions and allowing ourselves to experience the depth of our feelings is an integral part of our humanity.

This episode aims to delve into the notion that, as humans, we often hold onto the belief that we must always project strength. However, I contend that this belief might be doing us a disservice to our collective ability to progress through the grieving process.

While we often reflect on our purpose and our contribution to life as a whole, the question of our intrinsic value may not have received due consideration. The direction I'm heading with this thought stems from a fascinating concept that sheds an intriguing light on how we perceive value.

Taking it a step further, I propose that similarly, we can regard grief as possessing a value in our lives—its significance contingent upon what we choose to do with our grief. So, what will you do with yours?

I acknowledge that this might seem like an unusual analogy, but I'd like to propose that there's a facet of navigating life with grief that mirrors this experience. Join me as I explore the connection a common trip and tumble has with the daily struggles with grief.

I'm confident that many individuals, like myself, have aspired to offer meaningful support to someone navigating loss, only to struggle with a sense of inadequacy regarding what we can genuinely do to help. I often find myself pondering the deceptively simple question, "What can I do to help?" Over the years, my conclusion has become clear: "Showing up" is the most impactful gesture.

Whether it involves sitting by their side, providing a listening ear, or serving as a sounding board for their emotions, there is immense power and value in the act of showing up. It begins with the subtle yet profound gesture of being the person your friend can authentically open up to when they feel ready to do so.

The sense of loneliness following a loss isn't solely a result of the absence of a loved one; it is exacerbated by friends and family who may choose to maintain distance due to the belief that they can't offer any assistance or simply because they are unwilling to confront the uncomfortable realities of grief.

Allow me to share a story that might enhance our comprehension of The Power of Showing Up and underscore the importance of the smallest, considerate gestures.

We must be prompted to recognize that there remains a reservoir of gratitude within us. Moreover, we need to be aware of the importance of self-care, extending not only to ourselves but also to those in our circle who share in the grieving process for the same loss. We must be confident in our strength, surpassing our self-perceived limits and assuring ourselves that a path forward can be found.

In pursuit of this purpose, I wish to offer you a written piece that adopts a distinctive tone narrated through the perspective of our departed loved one.

The forthcoming analogy I'm about to share is remarkably apt, offering the clearest depiction of the intricate and all-encompassing nature of the grief experience.

This notion isn't necessarily groundbreaking; counselors and therapists likely share similar advice. However, I've grown to value this concept more deeply as I've navigated my own journey. Now, I've stumbled upon words that might help you appreciate the benefits of actively embracing grief into your life. Join me as I discuss this challenging mindset and how it can help you.

Though Angie's primary focus pertains to themes of business leadership and team cultivation, I have often noticed a remarkable resonance with a broader audience, including those navigating the intricacies of grief. This idea of a subject having a universal connection with so many while maintaining individual experiences as suggested by Angie, I believe can unexpectedly converge with the deeply personal experience of grief.

In my interpretation, the phrase "The Topic is Universal, the Experience is Individual" serves as a nuanced and efficient explanation of the paradox inherent in grief—being a shared human experience while manifesting uniquely for each individual. This conceptual framework encapsulates the duality of grief, wherein common threads unite us, yet the lived experience remains profoundly personal and distinctive.

I've come to understand that these conflicting emotions can coexist harmoniously, each holding its truth simultaneously. This insightful reflection comes from the talented poet Liz Newman, known for her contemplative pieces, delving into grief, love, family, faith, and mental health themes.

I stumbled upon Liz's work through her Facebook posts, and honestly, her writing resonates with me. The way she articulates the juxtaposition of love and loss, grief and gratitude intrigued me.

It makes me wonder if, as a society, we typically view these opposing emotions as occurring simultaneously. In my own experiences, especially with grief and gratitude, and come to think of it, sorrow and celebration, I've found that these emotions can exist side by side and be authentic all at once – sometimes even within the same moment. It's a nuanced perspective that warrants consideration and reflection.

Now, imagine having no plans for your life. How would you approach that blank page? Would you feel anxious or excited about the possibilities? It's an interesting thing to contemplate but also a reality for grieving people.

With Spring right around the corner and our lives firmly in the third month of the year, reflecting on how we've approached the new year so far - especially as we deal with grief - is a good way to allow ourselves to readjust if we find the need.

More importantly, to reflect on how our approach to this new year is going and to allow ourselves to measure any change we have engaged, goals we may have already achieved, and new projects we may want to reveal to others and ourselves as we attempt to shift perspective for 2023. You will find this episode will do just that. It will reveal a new project I am introducing through the Journey to Grateful podcast, to better help those searching for support that fits their needs. 

At the end of the episode, I provide you a Bonus: Five Things Never to Say to Someone Who's Grieving. These typically exist in society from the need for people to say something comforting, yet they come off insensitive. Somehow these phrases continue to cycle through the support community even though I'd suggest each one of them is obviously inappropriate. I'm hopeful together we can make strides to help educate others and stop these phrases from ever being said again.