Spoilers for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

I will be taking a hiatus in January, but I will see you again in the New Year!

Content Warning for talk about self harm and emotional, physical, religious, and sexual abuse, as well as rape. Also talk about genital disease and damage, and a mention of BDSM. I also recognize that hearing two trans folk talk about Harry Potter may be difficult for some.

Spoilers for Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Harry Potter, and A Very Potter Musical.

References:

Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood, anime show by Yasuhiro Irie

"Do not pity the dead, Harry, pity the living, and above all those who live without love." Dumbledore from Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows

"And you think that killing people will make them like you, but it doesn't! It just just makes them dead." Voldemort to Quirrel in A Very Potter Musical, by Starkid

James Dobson: Conservative Evangelical leader who wrote books, did radio, other forms of media about traditional views on sexuality, gender roles, family, and discipline.

Acroynyms/Definitions:

BPD: Borderline Personality Disorder, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/borderline-personality-disorder

OCPD: Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder

Cluster B: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/cluster-b

Responding to internal stimuli: When someone is not responding to the world or people around them, but to what is internal, sometimes to hallucinations

Miracle Question: psychological tool where a client is asked to imagine what their world would look like if their problems were solved.

Content Warnings for talk about bullying.

This episode was recorded October 14, 2023.

No episode will release on Thanksgiving.

Next episode will be released December 7, 2023.

References:

White Fragility, book by by Robin DiAngelo

"There’s something curious about professors in my experience... typically, they live in their heads... They look upon their body as a form of transport for their heads." - Ken Robinson, speech "Do Schools Kill Creativity"

Younger Next Year, book by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge

This episode was originally recorded on September 30, 2023.

Next episode will be released November 9, 2023.

This episode was originally recorded on August 31, 2023.

Next episode will be released October 26, 2023.

Content Warnings for talk about bottom surgery, sexual abuse, incest, physical abuse, mental health, emotional abuse, extreme anger, transphobia. In this episode Miche mentions the war in Israel in the late  80s, and I recognize I'm releasing the episode less than a week after the October 7 Hamas attack on Israel.

References:

Queer Christian Fellowship: an organization that provides support for queer Christians

Study about opinions on trans folk by Evangelical Christians vs mainline Christians - PRRI study America's Growing Support for Transgender Rights, 2019

Circumference of the Earth - Around 250 B.C., Eratosthenes used the formula (360° ÷ θ) x (s) to say that the earth's circumference was 25,000 miles. Today it is accepted that the Earth's circumference is about 24,855 miles. From: https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/education/tutorial_geodesy/geo02_hist.html

Acronyms:

DEI: Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

CMA church: Christian and Missionary Alliance

APA: American Psychological Association

WPATH: World Professional Association for Transgender Health

Content Warnings for mentioning war and homophobia.

This episode was originally recorded on August 1, 2023.

The next episode will be released October 11, 2023.

References:

"Be humble, for you are made of earth. Be noble, for you are made of stars." - possibly a Serbian Proverb, but origin is unknown

Brothers Karamazov, book by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Mysterium: cooperation board game found here https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/181304/mysterium

“Never tell a child: you have a soul. Teach him, you are a soul; you have a body." - Quote often misattributed to C.S. Lewis, but in fact said by George Macdonald to people he viewed as mourning too much at funerals. Found in The British Friend, Volume 1, a collection of monthly Quaker journals

"The Aunties" short story from Traveling Mercies, book by Anne Lamott

"The Time I have Alone," poem by Hope:

something sharp sits within me;

a longing without direction,

a dream I crafted without meaning to.

the love I picture is so beautiful:

perfect in its blur, a lovely and uncertain shape.

I believe in it whenever it seems

not wholly impossible

keep it small:

a hand that holds mine,

somewhere for my loyalty to land.

.

I know I'm not the only one

whose potential for romance is still a seed

It's not heartbreak, but

our hearts continue to ask without receiving

as we grow, we find we are not promised

a particular happiness just because

we can imagine so vividly its sweetness

.

I pick up the lonesomeness

and put it down again

there's still life to be lived (not said in the interview)

Definitions/Acronyms:

CRC: Christian Reformed Church, a Calvinist Christian community

Content Warnings for talk about suicidality, suicide, and sexual harassment.

This episode was originally recorded July 18, 2023.

Next episode will be released September 28, 2023.

References:

Myth of Normal, book by Gabor Mate

When the Body Says No, book by Gabor Mate

Content Warnings for mentions of sexual abuse and physical abuse, talk about Covid, AIDs, addiction, homophobia, accentism, spiritual abuse, and suicidality,

Definitions:

Cis-het: cisgender and heterosexual, meaning non-trans and straight

References:

"Poem 5" from Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman

"Chinar Es," Armenian traditional folk song noted down by Komitas, a composer and folk song collector who was arrested and exiled during the Armenian genocide

Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Zen Master who spoke out against the Vietnam War

Patrick Carnes, writer and researcher of sexual recovery

Myth of Normal, book by Gabor Mate

"Don't live up to your stereotypes." Quote from "The Toughest Indian in the World," a CBS interview of Sherman Alexie

The idea that American car businesses plotted to get rid of public transportation - from 1996 documentary Take for a Ride.

Poem 6 in Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman

Richard Rohr, Franciscan priest who writes on spirituality

Tender Heart of Sadness, book by Roger Guest

"On Joy and Sorry," poem by Kahlil Gibran

"I'm Gonna Live Forever," song by Irene Cara

Mention of mutual friend who was on this podcast and has since died - "Diana: Telling My Story"

"A Wounded Deer--leaps highest," poem by Emily Dickinson

Content Warnings for talk about racism, transphobia, suicidality, head injuries, as well as extended talk about substance use and sex

This episode was originally recorded March 25, 2023.

Next episode will be released August 31, 2023.

References:

Prince Valiant haircut: https://www.princevaliant.org/movie1.html

A Brief History of Time, book by Stephen Hawking

"The Host," episode of Star Trek: Next Generation, show created by Gene Roddenberry

Yearnings, book by Rabbi Irwin

Realm of Hungry Ghosts, book by Gabor Mate

Good As it Gets, film directed by James L. Brooks

21 grams (incorrectly called 23 grams), film directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

Content Warning for a brief mention of rape, and also talk about racism, classism, and spiritual trauma.

This episode was recorded March 30, 2023.

Next episode will be released August 17, 2023.

References:

Harry Potter Book 5: Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling (incorrectly said to be from Harry Potter Book 6: Half-Blood Prince)

Matthew 5:27-30, removing your eye if you look at someone with lust

"Curled in on yourself": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incurvatus_in_se

Scrupulosity: https://iocdf.org/faith-ocd/what-is-ocd-scrupulosity/

Princess Bride, film directed by Rob Reiner

Orthodox view of Salvation, youtube video by Steve Robinson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WosgwLekgn8

Content Warnings for talk about substance use, weight, racism, classicism, homophobia, transphobia, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, spiritual abuse, self-harm, and suicidality.

This episode was recorded March 4, 2023.

Next episode will be released August 3, 2023

Definitions:

Fools for Christ or Holy Fools: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foolishness_for_Christ

Babushkas (stress on the first 'a'): Russian for grandmother or older woman

References:

Exclusion and Embrace by Miraslov Volf

"The Search", poem by me

I am tired

of lusting after

rejection, expecting

love

Content Warning for talk about self-harm, spiritual abuse, and a brief description of top surgery

This episodes was originally recorded March 1, 2023.

The next episode will release on July 20, 2023.

References:

"Cloud: Seeing Myself," episode 6 of this podcast. Dre is married to Cloud.

Sometimes a Wild God, poem by Tom Hirons

• Written: https://tomhirons.com/poetry/sometimes-a-wild-god
• Audio: https://youtu.be/F5lJnbB4woQ

my father moved through dooms of love, poem by e. e. cummings

Romans 8:22-24, Pauline groan passage

Content Warnings for talk about spiritual abuse, transphobia, queer phobia, suicidality

This episode was recorded February 11, 2023.

Next episode will be released July 6, 2023.

Definitions:

Egg - not knowing yet that you are trans; when your egg has cracked you have realized that you are trans

Gnostic - the connotation people have with this is that it was a Christian group that believed we were dualistic beings, flesh and spirit, and that the flesh was sinful.

Sanctification: a Christian term; the process of becoming more and more Christlike due to the Holy Spirit working within you.

Sapphic: sexual attraction or activity between women

References:

Queer Christian Fellowship: an organization that provides support for queer Christians

Nanette, comedy special by Hannah Gadsby

I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a book by Joshua Harris that was used heavily in purity culture/inspired part of purity culture; he has since stopped the printing of new books because he believed it was harmful

When the Body Says No, a book by Gabor Mate

Genesis 32:22-32, Jacob wrestling with God/angel

Job 40-41, God responding to Job by talking about the Behemoth and Leviathan

Enneagram Type 8: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-8

Content Warnings: mention of domestic violence and war, talk about eating disorders

This episode was recorded January 20, 2023.

Next episode will be released June 22, 2023.

References:

Episodes 3 and 4 of this podcast: "Michael Part 1: Being Seen" and "Michael Part 2: Truth as a Mechanism of Healing"

Yearnings by Rabbi Irwin Kula

Yoga with Adriene, Yoga YouTube channel

Content Warnings for talk about fatphobia, colorism, racism, misogyny, transphobia, BDSM.

This episode was originally recorded January 19, 2023.

The next will be released June 8, 2023.

References:

Unclean, a book by Richard Beck

Pleasure Activism, a book written and edited by adrienne maree brown

Queer Christian Fellowship, an organization for queer Christians

"You've Got to Be Carefully Taught," a song from South Pacific:

You've got to be taught to hate and fear

You've got to be taught from year to year

It's got to be drummed in your dear little ear

You've got to be carefully taught

You've got to be taught to be afraid

Of people whose eyes are oddly made

And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade

You've got to be carefully taught

You've got to be taught before it's too late

Before you are six or seven or eight

To hate all the people your relatives hate

You've got to be carefully taught

This episode was originally recorded on December 13, 2022.

Next episode will be released May 25, 2023.

Content warnings for talk about fatphobia.

References:

Ferris Bueller's Day Off, a film directed by John Hughes

A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte, a painting by Georges Seurat

"It is Well With My Soul," a hymn written by Horatio Spafford, written in response to losses in his life, including his young son's death, and also the death of his four daughters from a ship collision.

Brunhild/Brynhild, a queen in Germanic mythology, a shieldmaiden in Norse mythology

Women Who Run with Wolves, a book by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Content Warnings for mentions of suicidality, talk about homophobia, transphobia, racism, accentism, extreme childhood neglect, and sexual abuse.

This episode was recorded October 24, 2022.

Next episode will be released May 11, 2023.

This episode was recorded on October 22, 2022.

Next episode will be released April 27, 2023.

Content Warnings for talk about Covid, medical trauma, and abortion, including some details about the procedure.

Content Warnings for mentions of transphobia, verbal and physical abuse as well as talk about BDSM, rape, and suicidality.

This episode was recorded October 17, 2022.

The next episode will be released April 13, 2023.

References:

Ideas that phantom limb syndrome is necessary for prosthetics to work - The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, book by Oliver Sacks

Content Warnings for talk about fatphobia, colorism, physical abuse, sexual abuse, self-harm, and suicidality.

This episode was recorded December 1, 2023.

Next episode will be released March 30, 2023.

Diana's website: https://dianacspeaks.com/bio/

Content Warning for talk about spiritual abuse, homophobia

This episode was recorded October 8, 2022.

Next episode will be released March 16, 2023.

References:

Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill, a book by a celibate gay man talking about the realities of being a gay Christian who chooses celibacy.

This episode was recorded on September 20, 2022.

Next episode will be released March 2, 2023.

Content Warning for talk about emotional and spiritual abuse as well as homophobia and transphobia.

Spoilers for the movie Imitation Game.

References:

A Complete Guide to Complex Trauma by Pete Walker

Spoilers for Interstellar and Don't Look Up.

This was recorded July 14, 2022.

Next episode will be released February 16, 2023.

Reference:

Plant Profile: Blue Star Fern (Phlebodium aureum)

https://www.greenroomsmarket.com/blog/2021/2/22/plant-profile-blue-star-fern

References:

Golem Girl by Riva Lehrer

Being Heumann by Judy Heumann

The Virginia State Colony for Epileptics and Feebleminded and Places I've Taken My Body by Molly McCully Brown

DisArt, an organization that presents contemporary art by disabled artists

DisTopia, a podcast run by DisArt which focuses on disability

Content Warning for talk about suicidality, sexual abuse, and rape.

This was recorded on May 7, 2022 and December 17, 2022.

The next episode will be released February 2, 2023.

Context:

This was recorded not long after Russia began to invade Ukraine again; that is the war that Michael references in this episode. Michael and I have some connections to both Russia and Ukraine. Michael briefly speaks Russian in the episode, which they translate in the next sentence.

References:

"Rites of Passage (to MLK jr)," by Audre Lorde

Content Warning for talk about transphobia, self-harm, suicidality, sexual abuse, and rape.

This episode was recorded on May 7, 2022.

"Michael Part 2: Truth as a Mechanism for Healing" will be released January 19, 2022.

Acronyms:

DOC: Department of Corrections.

CCO: Community Corrections Officer

The next full episode will be released January 12.

Content Warning for talk about animal death, suicidality, racism, verbal abuse, sexual abuse and rape. 

This episode was recorded August 4, 2022.

Next episode will be released January 12, 2022.

References:

The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui

Content Warning for talk about spiritual abuse, homophobia, and transphobia.

This episode was recorded July 1, 2022.

Next episode will be released December 29, 2022.

References:

My Name is Asher Lev, book by Chaim Potok, play adaptation by Aaron Posner

"Lord of Spirits," podcast by Father Andrew Stephen Damick and Father Stephen De Young