Kids These Days

Cultivating an Identity-Safe Home: Decoding Myths and Parent-Youth Connection with Dr. Marissa Nunes-Moreno

Tue, 09 Jun 2026 01:00:00 -0600

June is Pride Month, making it the perfect time to evaluate the environment we are building within our own four walls. While many parents hold deeply open-minded values and want their homes to be an "identity-safe zone," a wave of intense anxiety often hits the surface the moment topics like gender exploration, sexual identity, or pronouns enter the chat. Parents freeze out of a catastrophic fear of saying the wrong thing or causing permanent damage.

In this episode, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Dr. Marissa Nunes-Moreno, a clinical psychologist and the Director of Mood Specialty Services at the Pediatric Mental Health Institute at Children’s Hospital Colorado. Together, they strip the shame away from the identity conversation. Dr. Marissa delivers an empathetic, clinical permission slip to drop perfectionism, outline the mechanics of "correct and move on," and explain how leaning into mistakes actually deepens trust with your children.

Key Takeaways & Learning Points

The Fallacy of the Perfect Script: Trust is not built by never making a mistake; it is built through rupture and repair. When a parent models how to take accountability and do better, it teaches children how to navigate their own real-world mistakes.
The Mechanics of "Correct and Move On": When slipping up on a friend's or child's pronouns, avoid over-apologizing or spinning into a shame spiral. Forcing a young person to comfort you for your mistake centers your guilt. Instead, swiftly correct yourself ("Excuse me, they...") and keep moving forward.
De-Gendering Daily Environments: For younger children, gender exploration is often just concrete world-sorting. Parents can proactively challenge assumptions by decoupling toys, colors, and clothing from rigid gender binaries.
Do Good Before It Feels Good: You do not have to fully understand the intricate nuances of modern gender terminology to fiercely support your child. Align your parenting behaviors with your core family values (love, kindness, safety) first, and let your understanding catch up later.
Dismantling the "Phase" Myth: Labeling an identity exploration as "just a phase" is a dismissive linguistic tool that fractures relationships. Even if a child's expression shifts over time, treating their present reality as temporary means missing out on who your child is right now.

Chapter Markers & Time Stamps

[00:17] Intro: Dr. Courtney introduces Pride Month, parental anxiety, and the fear of saying the wrong thing.
[03:50] Normalizing Mistakes: Dr. Marissa on why perfection is an illusion and how rupture and repair builds genuine trust.
[07:42] Pronoun Slip-Ups in Real-Time: A concrete guide to handling pronoun mistakes gracefully without putting the spotlight on the youth.
[11:04] Habitual and Subtle Blindspots: Rethinking gendered nicknames, automatic parenting catchphrases ("the boys/the girls"), and evolving style expressions.
[19:48] Early Childhood & De-Gendering: How young children construct rules about the world and how to instill open family values before school systems intervene.
[27:34] Handling Extended Family & Grandparents: Strategies for navigating conflicting generational values and using curious follow-ups with your child.
[31:11] Keeping the Door Overtly Open: Why children carry a pervasive fear of family rejection (even with highly supportive parents) and how to explicitly state your allyship.
[38:28] When You Don't Know the Answer: Ditching defensive responses, avoiding interrogating "Why" questions, and exploring the child's perspective.
[43:37] Busting the Biggest Myths: Debunking the fear that talking about identity "creates" it, and moving past the need for total comprehension.
[49:14] Clinical Wrap-Up: Dr. Courtney breaks down the 4 definitive rules for your parenting playbook.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Clinical Care: Pediatric Mental Health Institute at Children’s Hospital Colorado
Recommended Reading:
"The Family Book" by Todd Parr
"Mommy, Mama, and Me" by Lesléa Newman
"Julián is a Mermaid" by Jessica Love

Connect with Us

If you are trying to untangle your own internalized childhood messaging, lower the stakes of perfectionist parenting, or need an evidence-based clinical team to support your family's communication and nervous system health, our doors are open.

Visit our practice: Integrated Behavioral Health

Legal Disclaimer: While this podcast may provide information that is educational in nature, it is not intended to be a health care service, psychotherapy, or the practice of psychology. This podcast’s main purpose is to provide educational insights for all stages of child and family development. We will not provide diagnoses or specific recommendations for your family. At no point is a therapeutic relationship established by way of your unilateral participation by listening to these episodes, and we cannot provide advice or privileges associated with a therapeutic relationship. We recommend that anyone who is seeking a therapeutic relationship reach out to Integrated Behavioral Health at info@integratedbhs.com to begin the interview process of becoming a client or receiving a referral. If at any point in your listening or engaging with the content of this podcast, you experience an emergency, please immediately call 911 or go to your local emergency room.

Beyond "The Twins": Fostering Individual Identity in Multiples with Dr. Margot Lewis

Tue, 02 Jun 2026 01:00:00 -0600

If you are a parent of multiples, your day-to-day reality is a completely different ballgame. The physical and emotional exhaustion of the early years is next level. But beyond the logistics of double strollers and synchronous tantrums lies a fascinating, highly specialized psychological landscape. We often celebrate the deep, non-verbal bond twins share, but clinically, that "womb-mate" connection can sometimes stall a child's individual identity development.

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Dr. Margot Lewis, a licensed clinical psychologist, military veteran, and founder of Twinsight Therapy. As an identical twin who navigated these exact identity waters herself, Margot has dedicated her research and clinical practice to twin psychology and twin parent coaching.

Together, they break down why twins experience a complex "double separation" process, the psychological danger of rigid childhood labels, and how to protect your kids from the relentless cultural comparison trap. Most importantly, Margot delivers a liberating truth that every parent of multiples needs to hear: stop trying to make everything 50/50 equal.

Key Takeaways & Learning Points:

The Concept of Double Attachment: Why singletons only have to separate from mom to find themselves, whereas twins must navigate a "double separation" from both parent and co-twin.
Nervous System Syncing: How infants and toddlers use their twin as a primary self-soothing object, and how this can delay independent emotional regulation.
Separation is Not Severance: Navigating the short-term developmental dysregulation of separate classrooms and separate playdates for long-term psychological health.
The Trap of Complementary Labeling: How early physical or medical differences (like birth weight) can trap twins into rigid lifelong roles like "the caretaker" vs. "the cared-for."
Dismantling the Attention Myth: Deconstructing old literature to prove that splitting parental attention across multiples does not lead to suboptimal or insecure attachment.
The Cookie Dilemma: Why trying to force perfect 50/50 equality is an impossible burden that prevents children from building real-world resilience.

Chapter Markers & Time Stamps:

[00:13] Intro: Dr. Courtney on the social-emotional trajectory of multiples vs. singletons.
[02:42] The Identity Crisis of Adolescence: Dr. Margot shares her personal journey growing up as an identical twin and the gap in standard therapy training.
[05:39] The Double Separation Process: Understanding twin psychology, womb-mate bonding, and enmeshment.
[07:55] Co-Soothening & Emotional Regulation: Why twins often lag behind singletons in developing independent coping mechanisms.
[09:37] Classroom Separation in Kindergarten: What the research actually says about separating multiples early in school.
[13:18] Nurturing the Two Identities: Balancing individual permission to move in and out of the twin unit without damaging the twin bond.
[20:04] Shutting Down the Onlooker Comparison Trap: Practical scripts for handling intrusive questions from strangers.
[24:34] Unconscious Roles & Medical Labels: How early interventions (OT, speech, birth weight) create implicit operational identities.
[27:51] The Multiples Postpartum Shock: Grieving the idealized singleton postpartum experience and handling twin manipulation.
[30:51] Debunking the Suboptimal Attachment Theory: Reassuring parents that shared attention does not mean compromised security.
[31:59] Singular Shining Moments: Fostering one-on-one parent outings and separate peer friendships.
[40:44] The 50/50 Equality Trap: Why the half of the cookie given to a twin is never perceived as big enough.
[44:40] Finding a Twin Specialist: Moving past regular parenting advice when a disturbance occurs in the home.
[46:26] Outro: Dr. Courtney's clinical reflection on building resilience through healthy differences.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Dr. Margot Lewis’s Practice: Twinsight Therapy

Connect with Us:

Navigating the intense, overstimulating seasons of parenting multiples? Our clinical team at Integrated Behavioral Health is here to support your family system. Schedule a consultation with our team today.

From 11 Moms to 350+: Building a Real Village with Tessa Metiva

Thu, 28 May 2026 01:00:00 -0600

We talk a lot about clinical frameworks and evidence-based psychological theories on this show. But today, we are stepping out of the clinic and straight onto the playground to talk about the real-world execution of mental health: community.

In this special bonus episode, Dr. Courtney sits down with Tessa Metiva, the founder of the Denver-based Cool Mom Collective and host of the Mama’s Got the Mic podcast. When Tessa found herself pregnant in 2024 and lacking a local support system, she didn't wait around for a village to appear—she built one from scratch. What started as an 11-mom mocktail meetup has snowballed into a thriving, hyper-active network of over 350 local mothers.

Dr. Courtney and Tessa dive deep into the modern isolation epidemic, the physical and emotional survival of the early postpartum days, the raw reality of postpartum rage, and actionable steps to put your phone down and form authentic connections right in your neighborhood.

Key Takeaways: What We Break Down

The "Relocation" Support Gap: Why modern career and college patterns leave new parents completely isolated from their generational villages, and how to bridge that gap intentionally.
Vulnerability Breeds Vulnerability: The clinical reality of how a simple doorbell diaper swap or an unbrushed-hair interaction acts as co-regulation for a dysregulated postpartum nervous system.
Normalizing Postpartum Rage: Demystifying the biological cycle of maternal rage—overstimulation, the short fuse, the explosive rush, the emotional crash, and the subsequent shame wave.
The "New Car" Connection Analogy: How to shift your focus to spot potential parent friends in the wild (at coffee shops, parks, and walks) and the exact low-stakes scripts to start a conversation.
The 33% Rule on the Playground: Why you don't need a cinematic, picture-perfect village 100% of the time. Showing up and making an effort one-third of the time is more than enough to anchor your mental health.

Resources & Links Mentioned

Join the Cool Mom Collective: If you are a Denver-area mom looking for your village, check out the Cool Mom Collective Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/coolmomcollectiveden/
Listen to Mama's Got the Mic: Catch Tessa's podcast on all major streaming platforms. https://www.instagram.com/mamasgotthemic/
Dr. Courtney’s Connection Roadmap: Get actionable communication scripts, clinical frameworks, and parental sanity savers sent straight to your inbox. Head over to Instagram and comment "NEWS" on the latest post to instantly receive your Connection Toolkit!

Vacation or Just a Location Change? Erasing the Travel Mental Load with Lana McClure

Tue, 26 May 2026 01:00:00 -0600

Have you ever packed up your car for a weekend getaway with a baby or toddler, looked at the literal mountain of gear, and wondered: Is this even worth it? For most parents of young children, standard travel isn't a vacation—it’s just parenting in a different zip code. The cognitive and logistical mental load required to keep a toddler safe, fed, and sleeping on the road is enough to cause full-blown parental burnout before you even arrive at your destination.

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Lana McClure, founder of Tot Friendly Homes, a revolutionary company certifying short-term vacation rentals (like Airbnbs and VRBOs) as truly family-ready. Lana shares her personal travel pain points that sparked this business, the developmental science behind toddler routine preservation, and how changing your physical environment serves as a vital psychological intervention for parents.

Turn down the pressure valve, drop your bags, and learn how to move out of high-alert maternal vigilance and back into a state of playful presence.

Key Takeaways & Learning Points:

The "Travel Tax" on Parental Mental Health: Why parents struggle to rest when their vacation environment triggers constant environmental vigilance.
The 5 Pillars of Essential Comforts: Breaking down the foundational needs of a traveling family—Sleep, Eat, Potty, Play, and Safety.
Preventing the Dreaded Vacation Regression: How toddler-sized bathroom inserts and step stools preserve independent routines learned at preschool and home.
The Multi-Child Design Gap: Why standard "family-friendly" filters fail families with two or three young children, and how to fix the puzzle pieces.
Environmental Design as a Nervous System Intervention: Shifting the body from a sympathetic (fight-or-flight) state of tracking safety hazards to a parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) state of connection.

Chapter Markers & Time Stamps:

[00:16] Intro: Dr. Courtney on the crushing weight of the mental load and parental burnout during travel.
[02:19] The Cross-Country Wake-Up Call: Lana’s personal inspiration for Tot Friendly Homes after moving from Chicago to Denver with a newborn.
[05:30] Aspiration vs. Reality: Debunking the curated "travel influencer" culture and validating the actual logistics of traveling with toddlers.
[08:26] Inside the Certification: The 30 essential products and premium hospitality standards required for the Tot Friendly Homes stamp of approval.
[11:27] Protecting Hard-Earned Routines: Preserving potty training milestones and independent habits while out of the home environment.
[13:36] Obligation Travel: Navigating work trips, family weddings, and why cramped hotel rooms are a recipe for sleepless nights.
[17:57] Solving the Multi-Kid Puzzle: Moving past a single pack-and-play to design spaces for families with multiple young children.
[22:24] Falling in Love with Your Family Again: Erasing chores and errands to open up room for true adult relaxation and patient presence.
[24:52] Future Pipelines: Where to find certified homes in Colorado and across the United States.
[26:36] Outro: Dr. Courtney's clinical perspective on environmental design and nervous system regulation.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Tot Friendly Homes Website: https://www.totfriendlyhomes.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/totfriendlyhomes/
Accolades: First Place Winner of the Regis University Innovation Challenge

Connect with Us:

Are you struggling with parental burnout, transition stress, or chronic anxiety that a weekend getaway couldn't fix? Our therapeutic team at Integrated Behavioral Health is here to walk with you. Visit our website to schedule a consultation.

Ref Less, Coach More: Moving from “Referee” to “Coach” in Your Parenting with Dr. Christopher Barclay

Tue, 19 May 2026 01:00:00 -0600

Inside the Episode: The Referee vs. The Coach

The 4 Rs: How to Spot the "Referee" in You

Chris identifies the four signs that you’ve slipped into a reactive, referee mindset. When we are in this mode, we focus on rules and punishment rather than growth.

Reprimanding: Focusing strictly on what not to do (e.g., "Stop running!").
Repeating: Saying the same directive over and over, which actually teaches kids they don't have to listen to the first "whistle."
Raising Your Voice: Matching a child's volume rather than modeling emotional regulation.
Removal: Relying on the "red card"—removing the child from the situation or taking away privileges—as the only tool for control.

The Science of the "Survival Brain"

Chris explains why "Refereeing" often leads to more defiance. When we reprimand or raise our voices, we trigger the child’s amygdala (the survival brain), putting them into fight-or-flight mode. In this state, the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for logic and learning) essentially shuts down. You cannot teach a child a new skill while they are in a state of fear or shame.

The COPE Model: Your Coaching Playbook

To move back into "Coach Mode," Chris suggests using the COPE acronym to guide children through difficult moments:

C – Confirm: Acknowledge the difficulty or the feeling. "Yeah, sharing that toy is really hard."
O – Options: Give the child choices to restore their sense of autonomy.
P – Prompting Skills: Remind them of the "drill." Use visuals or practice redos (Mulligans).
E – Empowering Boundaries: Set firm, clear boundaries that focus on the goal of getting back into the "game."

Key Takeaways for Parents:

The "Mulligan" (The Redo): Just like in golf, give yourself and your child permission for a redo. If an interaction starts poorly, stop, apologize, and try again.
Instruction over Policing: Parenting is about teaching skills, not just enforcing rules. Skills require hundreds of practice sessions to become habits.
Prompting with Presence: Use visuals (like post-it notes or menus of coping skills) to remind kids of their tools without getting into a verbal power struggle.
"I’m On Your Team": This is the most powerful shift a parent can make. Reminding your child that you are their teammate, not their opponent, changes the entire family dynamic.

Resources & Links:

Follow Dr. Chris Barclay: Find his guides and tips on Instagram here.
Integrated Behavioral Health: Looking for a skill-building, neuro-affirming approach to your child's behavior in Denver? Connect with our team.

Good Enough is Great: Breaking the Perfectionism Cycle in Parenting with Katie Linn, LCSW

Tue, 12 May 2026 01:00:00 -0600

This episode is the deep breath every modern parent needs. We live in a world where we are bombarded with "prescriptive" parenting advice at every turn—if we don’t use the right script or the right reward chart, we’re told we’re failing. But what if the goal isn't perfection, but simply being "good enough"?

I’m joined by Katie Linn, LCSW, a Denver-based therapist and the creator behind @YourTherapistMomFriend. Together, we pull back the curtain on the "Shame Spiral" of parenting, discuss why high-achieving parents struggle so much with the unpredictability of kids, and why modeling imperfection is actually a gift for your child’s development.

The Internalization Trap

Katie explains that parenthood is one of the only roles where we assess our own value based on the behavior of a completely different human being. If our kid struggles with reading or has a meltdown at a restaurant, the high-achieving parent’s first instinct is: "I must be failing." We discuss how to catch that "Fear-Driven Parenting" and separate our worth from our child's current developmental stage.

The "30% Rule" for Attachment

One of the most liberating moments of this conversation is the discussion of attachment research. To foster a secure attachment, you don't need to be perfectly attuned 100% of the time. In fact, research suggests that hitting the mark only 30% of the time is enough to achieve a secure bond, provided there is a focus on repair.

Pressing the "Easy Button"

We talk about the "Easy Button"—those moments on a Friday at 5:00 PM when your capacity is low. Whether it’s chicken nuggets for dinner or an extra episode of Bluey so you can decompress, Katie explains why "honoring your capacity" is actually a high-level parenting skill.

Key Discussion Points:

The Social Media "Shoulds": How the narrow path of success on Instagram creates a visceral pressure in our bodies.
The "High Achiever" Transition: Why parenting is the hardest role for people who are used to "working harder" to solve problems.
Parenting in Public: How the "Inner Critic" takes over when we feel the judgment of strangers, and how to stay present with your child instead.
The Power of Repair: Why saying "I'm sorry, I was grumpy and I shouldn't have yelled" is more valuable than never yelling at all.
Modeling Humanity: Why showing your kids that you are a human who makes mistakes prepares them for real-world relationships.

Key Takeaways for Parents:

Identify the U-Turn: When your child struggles, notice if your first thought is a judgment of them or a judgment of yourself. Catching the "Shame Spiral" early allows you to move into problem-solving.
Separate Behavior from Worth: Your child's picky eating or academic pace is a data point about their needs, not a performance review of your soul.
Prioritize Presence over Perfection: Your kids don't need a robot; they need a parent who sees them.
Mute the Noise: If a parenting "expert" on social media makes you feel like you aren't good enough, give yourself permission to hit the mute button.

Resources & Links:

Follow Katie on Instagram: @YourTherapistMomFriend
Join Katie’s Groups: Visit The Den in Denver for expecting, postpartum, and toddler parent support.
Integrated Behavioral Health: Navigating the "swirl" of parenting? Connect with our team here.

The Hormone-Parenting Connection: Why Your Cycle Drives Your Patience with Lauren Mallers

Tue, 05 May 2026 01:00:00 -0600

Biology 101: The Two Halves of Your Cycle

Lauren breaks down the month into two distinct phases, driven by our "lead actor" hormones:

The Follicular Phase (Front Half): Driven by rising Estrogen. This hormone is responsible for our zest for life. It makes us feel vibrant, creative, and resilient. This is the phase where we often feel like we "have it all together."
The Luteal Phase (Back Half): Driven by Progesterone. Biologically, your body is preparing for a potential pregnancy and scanning for safety. We become naturally more sensitive to stressors and sensory input.

The "Input vs. Output" Balance

One of the most profound takeaways is Lauren’s concept of the energy bank account:

Output: The energy we give to our kids, our jobs, and our partners.
Input: The solitude, nourishment, and regulation we need to refuel. In the second half of our cycle, our need for Input skyrockets. When we try to maintain "Follicular-level Output" during our Luteal phase, we end up in a state of high-alert fight-or-flight, leading to those "snappy" moments we often regret.

Sensory Overload and the "Parenting Bucket"

Lauren explains that when hormones drop to their lowest point (right before your period), your nervous system becomes highly sensitized. Noises feel louder, touches feel more invasive, and the "clutter" of parenting feels like a physical assault.

Key Discussion Points:

Evolutionary Stress: Why our bodies are programmed to scan for "safety, food, and shelter" in the second half of the month—and how "baseball practice and dinner prep" trigger that same ancient stress response.
The Metabolic Shift: Your body actually burns through calories faster after ovulation. If you don't increase your nourishment, your body sends a "stress signal," which translates to irritability with your kids.
Relationship Friction: Why you might "like" your partner less during your Luteal phase (it’s biological, not necessarily a marital crisis!).
A Note for Parents of Teens: Understanding that it takes 2 to 5 years for a teen’s cycle to become regular, and how that impacts their emotional "rollercoaster."

Key Takeaways for Moms:

Track Your "Sensory Threshold": Use an Oura ring or a simple app to know where you are. Knowledge takes the mystery (and shame) out of a bad mood.
Feed the Fire: Don't ignore "luteal hunger." Your body needs more fuel in the second half of the month to keep your nervous system calm.
Audit Your Schedule: If possible, move high-stress meetings or intense workouts to the first half of your cycle. Leave the second half for "solitude and silence."
Stop the Shame Spiral: Irritability isn't a character flaw; it's a biological signal. When you feel it rising, it’s time to ask for more support, not more perfection.

Resources & Links:

Connect with Lauren Mallers: CalibrateWell.com
Integrated Behavioral Health: Navigating parenting burnout or anxiety in Colorado? Visit our practice here.

Who is Driving the Train? Healthy Striving vs. High-Achievement Burnout with Dr. Lindsey O'Brennan

Tue, 28 Apr 2026 01:00:00 -0600

Guest: Dr. Lindsey O’Brennan, Licensed Psychologist & Founder of Morningstar Wellness

On paper, they look perfect. Straight A’s, varsity spots, and a resume that would make a CEO jealous. But for many high-achieving teens, the cost of functioning at such a high level has quietly become too great.

In this episode, Dr. Courtney sits down with longtime colleague and performance expert Dr. Lindsey O’Brennan to discuss the "concoction" of achievement and anxiety. They dive into the subtle but vital difference between healthy striving and rigid high achievement, and what happens to a teen’s identity when their self-worth is tied entirely to their "Gold Star" status.

Inside the Episode:

Healthy Striving vs. High Achievement: How to tell if your child is chasing a goal because they love it, or because they feel they must to be worthy.
The "Achievement Train" Metaphor: What happens when the train barrels toward success but the passenger (your teen) has no idea who is driving or how to get off.
The Resilience Gap: Why "gifted" kids often struggle to bounce back from failure because they’ve never had the chance to practice it.
The "Three Strikes" Rule: Dr. Lindsey’s tactical red flags for when "end-of-semester stress" has turned into a mental health crisis.
Parental Modeling: How high-achieving parents can pull back the curtain on their own stress and model the power of a "pause."
The Gift of Validation: Why witnessing your teen "fall apart" without judgment is the most protective thing a parent can do.

Key Takeaways for Parents:

Check the Driver’s Seat: Ask your teen (and yourself): "Who is driving this train? Is it your values, or is it an internal critic/external pressure?"
Narrate the Pause: Even if you aren't ready to change your busy schedule, name it. "I’ve realized I’m on my phone a lot when I get home to unwind. I’m just recognizing that pattern."
Validate the "B": For a high achiever, a single B-grade can feel like a world-ending event. Before problem-solving, sit with them in that distress.
Seasons, Not Sprints: Reframe busy months (like sports season or finals) as "sprints" that must be followed by a "recoup" season to be sustainable.

Resources Mentioned:

Morningstar Wellness: Dr. Lindsey’s practice specializing in high-achieving teens and performance coaching. Morningstarwellness.com
Integrated Behavioral Health: Dr. Courtney’s group practice in Colorado, offering therapy and evaluations for the "smart but scattered" and anxious high-achiever. integratedbhs.com

The "School Angel" vs. the "Home Whirlwind": Understanding Masking and School Advocacy with Hannah Higgins, LCSW

Tue, 21 Apr 2026 01:00:00 -0600

Have you ever felt dismissed by your child's school? Your child’s teacher reports they are well-behaved and hitting benchmarks, yet the second they hit the front door at home, they explode into a "whirlwind" of meltdowns.

In this episode, Dr. Courtney sits down with Hannah Higgins, LCSW, a former school social worker and neurodivergent advocate, to demystify the phenomenon of masking. Hannah shares her "both sides of the table" perspective to help parents understand why kids hold it together at school only to crumble at home (often called After-School Restraint Collapse). We dive into the legal differences between IEPs and 504 plans, why you should trust your gut even when grades look "fine," and how to use Hannah’s new app, Advocado Solutions, to become a confident advocate for your child.

Inside the Episode:

The Reality of Masking: Why "good behavior" at school can actually be a sign of internal suffering and sensory overwhelm.
90s Stigma vs. Modern Advocacy: Shifting the narrative from "over-medicating" to creating neurodivergent-affirming environments.
The "Safe Place" Meltdown: Why your child saves their biggest emotions for you (and why that’s actually a sign of trust).
IEP vs. 504 Plans: A breakdown of how to initiate the process and why documentation is your best friend.
Sensory Room Advocacy: Why every school should have a dedicated space for decompression and how to ask for it.
Trusting Your Gut: Why parental intuition is a valid data point in school meetings.

Key Takeaways for Parents:

Get it in Writing: If you have concerns, document them. Written communication is the first step toward legal protections in the school system.
Stay Curious, Not Punitive: When your child has a post-school meltdown, ask: "What was the sensory load today?" rather than "Why are you acting out?"
The "8th Sense": Understand Interoception—the ability to feel what’s happening inside the body. Many neurodivergent kids struggle to name their hunger, thirst, or overwhelm until it’s too late.
Collaboration is King: Schools work best when parents and teachers partner together. Don't be afraid to share what works at home so it can be integrated into the classroom.

Resources Mentioned:

Hannah Rose Therapy: Psychotherapy for neurodivergent adolescents and adults. Hannahrosetherapy.com
Avocado Solutions: Hannah’s new app designed to help parents navigate the IEP and 504 process with confidence. Advocado.solution s
Legal Resources: * Colorado Department of Education
IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act)
Integrated Behavioral Health: Dr. Courtney’s group practice in Colorado, providing evaluations and therapy for neurodivergent hurdles. Integratedbhs.com

Potty Training & Pediatric Pelvic Health: Why It’s a Learning Process, Not a Race with Annie Close, MS, OTR/L

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 01:00:00 -0600

Guest: Annie Close, Pediatric Occupational Therapist & Founder of OWN Pediatric Therapy

Potty training is often treated like a high-stakes behavioral exam, but what if the struggle isn't about "willpower" at all? In this episode, Dr. Courtney sits down with pediatric pelvic health expert Annie Close to discuss why so many families hit a wall with potty training. We dive deep into the physiological "puzzle pieces"—like pelvic floor tension and chronic constipation—that can trigger a child’s fight-or-flight response and lead to those frustrating "sneaky" accidents.

Inside the Episode:

The Mindset Shift: Why we should treat potty training like learning to ride a bike—a complex motor skill that requires patience, not a three-day "miracle."
The Sneaky Enemy: How chronic constipation (even if your child poops daily) can create "mega-rectums" and "sneaky peas."
The Physical Signs of Readiness: It’s more than just age. We discuss interoception (the ability to feel what’s happening inside the body) and the ability to pause during play.
The "Poop Whistle" & Other Tools: Actionable tips to help your child relax their pelvic floor, including deep breathing, party blowers, and proper toilet positioning.
The Behavioral Bank Account: Dr. Courtney explains how to avoid "withdrawals" (constant commands) and focus on "deposits" (connection and curiosity).
Identifying the Signs: What "W-sitting" or the "Vincent’s Curtsy" can tell you about your child’s pelvic floor strength and withholding habits.

Key Takeaways for Parents:

Constipation is a Stop Sign: You cannot successfully potty train a constipated child. Address the gut health and stool consistency first to avoid creating a cycle of painful pooping and withholding.
Language Matters: Swap "Go sit on the potty" for curiosity-based scripts like, "Let’s see what your body is trying to tell you."
Model the Cues: Talk out loud about your own body’s signals. "My bladder feels full; I’m going to go listen to my body and use the restroom."
Reward the Effort, Not the Result: Use sticker charts for sitting and trying rather than the physical act of peeing or pooping, which a child cannot always control.

Resources Mentioned:

OWN Pediatric Therapy: Annie Close’s practice specializing in pediatric bowel, bladder, and pelvic health. https://www.ownpediatrictherapy.com/
Integrated Behavioral Health: Dr. Courtney’s group practice in Colorado, offering support for behavioral and developmental hurdles. https://www.integratedbhs.com/
Connect on Social: Follow us for more tips on raising kids these days! @integratedbh

You don't have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning about how to raise kids these days.

The Architecture of Repair: Building A Secure Base with Emma Abel Loach, LMFT

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 01:00:00 -0600

"Their behavior is a longing for connection."

If you’ve ever found yourself in a "boiling point" moment—where a simple request turns into a door-slamming explosion—then this episode is your permission slip to stop being a "Fixer" and start being an Anchor.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Emma Abel Loach, M.Ed., Ed.S., LMFT, the Clinical Director at Thrive Couple and Family Counseling Services and a triple-certified supervisor in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). We slow down the "Family Cycle" to look at the unspoken stories happening under the surface of our most stressful parenting moments.

Key Takeaways from This Episode:

The Family Cycle: How parents and children get caught in "meaning-making" loops. Often, what we see as "bad behavior" is actually an unclear signal for a deep attachment longing.
The "Manager" vs. The "Anchor": Why our instinct to jump straight to consequences often misses the point of the behavior.
The 33% Rule of Repair: Emma shares the research-backed relief that we only need to get the "repair" right about one-third of the time to build a secure attachment with our kids.
Accountability over Auditing: Why the parent’s primary job is to regulate themselves first before attempting to co-regulate with their child.
Setting Boundaries with Empathy: How to hold a firm "No" (like the Billy’s house example) while still making your child feel seen and understood in their disappointment.

Slowing Down the Cycle: A 3-Step Framework

Emma outlines how to handle a "rupture" (like a door slam or a shutdown in the car):

The Internal U-Turn: The parent regulates their own nervous system first. You cannot be curious if you are in a state of panic or rage.
The Curious Approach: Re-enter the space with your child by acknowledging the "suck." Use phrases like: "I saw that, and I get that it sucked. I want to understand what that was like for you".
The Logical Rewrite: Once the nervous systems are calm, move into the second half of repair—the "left brain" retelling of what happened and finding a way forward together.

Resources & Links:

Connect with Emma: Learn more about her work at Thrive Couple and Family Counseling Services.
Work with IBH: Visit Integrated Behavioral Health for therapy and assessments in Denver and across the United States.
Featured Resource: Download our Internal U-Turn Workbook to help identify these cycles with your parenting partner.
IBH Newsletter: Join the community and start your 3-Day Parenting Reflections journey.

Found this episode helpful? Please rate us 5 stars and leave a review! Your support helps us reach more families looking for their steady ground. ⚓️✨

Remember: You don't have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning about how to raise Kids These Days.

More Than a Mouth: Why Your Baby’s “Tension” Might Be an Oral Tie with Dr. Kayla Culbertson

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 01:00:00 -0600

“I looked, and I don’t see a tie.”

For many parents, this sentence is the beginning of a long, frustrating journey of chasing symptoms like fragmented sleep, chronic gas, and delayed motor milestones without ever finding the root cause.

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Dr. Kayla Culbertson, a pediatric Occupational Therapist and specialist in tethered oral ties. Dr. Kayla shares her own "in the trenches" story of how an oral tie release for her son resolved 8 days of constipation and changed his nervous system overnight.

We move beyond the anatomy of a "string under the tongue" to explore the Inside-Out reality: how the fascia in our mouths is connected to a "Frontal Line" that travels all the way to our toes. If the system is tight at the top, the whole baby feels the flood.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Frontal Line: Why oral ties cause "fisted" hands, curled toes, and hiked-up shoulders.
Function over Anatomy: Why a "posterior" tie can be invisible to the eye but devastating to a baby's regulation.
The Vagus Nerve & GI Connection: How the tongue's position at the palate acts as the "off-switch" for the survival brain.
Compensations vs. Growth: Why you don’t "grow out" of ties; you simply grow into lifelong workarounds (and the toll that takes).
The Therapy Bridge: Why you should never "just cut the tie" without prepping the nervous system first.

Remember: You don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise Kids These Days.

Links & Resources:

Dr. Kayla's website: https://www.thriveandshinetherapyllc.com/
IBH Practice Website: www.integratedbhs.com
Newsletter: Sign up for the Integrated Behavioral Health Newsletter for monthly parenting tips and tricks.
Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for "Inside-Out" insights.

Why Your Child Refuses School: Understanding School Avoidance and the SPACE Protocol

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 01:00:00 -0600

Morning stress, "tummy aches," and the desperate plea to stay home—school refusal is one of the most taxing challenges a family system can face. In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn is joined by Dr. Alex Littleton to discuss the "School Refusal Trap." They dive deep into why our well-intentioned efforts to ease a child's distress can inadvertently reinforce their anxiety. Using the framework of the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) protocol, they provide a roadmap for parents to move from "managing" the morning crisis to becoming a "Secure Base" for their child's resilience.

In this episode, we cover:

Defining School Refusal: The difference between a "bad morning" and a persistent pattern of avoidance.
The Accommodation Trap: How "rescuing" our kids from discomfort tells the brain that school is actually dangerous.
The SPACE Protocol: Why treating child anxiety through the parents is often more effective than traditional therapy.
Supportive Statements: The two-ingredient formula (Validation + Confidence) that shifts the internal narrative.
Red Light vs. Yellow Light: Why negotiating with an anxious child only "speeds up" the anxiety.
Home as "School": Practical steps for changing the home environment when a child stays home.
The Snowball Effect: Why building resilience in one small area helps the rest of the accommodations "melt away."

Links & Resources:

Guest Info: Dr. Alex Littleton's Practice Link
Clinical Resource: The SPACE Treatment Official Site
Support: Integrated Behavioral Health - Anxiety & School Refusal Support
Podcast: Subscribe to Kids These Days on Apple and Spotify.
Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for "Inside-Out" parenting insights.
Newsletter: Sign up for the Integrated Behavioral Health Newsletter for weekly reflections on building a Secure Base and practical clinical tools.

The Insider-Outsider Trap: Why Blended Families Feel “Stuck” and How to Find Your Groove with Alex Harrison, LCSW

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 01:00:00 -0600

“I feel like I’m failing on all fronts.” “I’m always the one left out.”

If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know that the word "step" often carries a heavy weight. Between the Disney stereotypes of evil step-parents and the internal feeling that your family was born from a place of "brokenness," it is incredibly easy to get stuck in a state of high-alert. We try to "manage" the dishes and the schedules, but we often forget to look at the Human Being right in front of us.

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney Lynn sits down with Alex Harrison, LCSW—a stepfamily coach and card-carrying member of the "Bonus Mom Club." They peel back the layers of the "Inside-Out" stepfamily experience, exploring why repartnering feels like a redemptive joy for adults but a series of losses for children. Whether you are a "Stuck Insider" feeling pulled in two directions or a "Stuck Outsider" feeling overlooked, this conversation provides the clinical anchors you need to move from chaos to calm.

In this episode, we discuss:

The "Disney" Narrative: Why we need to acknowledge the "implication of brokenness" baked into the step-parent identity.
The Insider-Outsider Dynamic: A deep dive into the universal feeling of being either ganged up on or completely overlooked in decision-making.
The "Stuck Insider" Tension: Trying to decide who comes first—the marriage or the kids? You feel pulled because you are. We discuss why you have to hold both with equal tension.
The "Nail in the Coffin": Understanding the grief and "magical thinking" kids experience when a parent repartners.
The Polarization Trap: Why biological parents want more warmth while step-parents want more structure—and how to bridge that gap.
The Gymnast on the Rings: A powerful visual for balancing the needs of your partnership and your children without letting either go.
The 3-to-7 Year Groove: Why your family isn't "clicking" yet and why the research says you are actually right on schedule.

Remember: you don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise kids these days.

Links & Resources:

Alex Harrison, LCSW: Learn more about Alex’s coaching and clinical work at https://www.stepfamilyreset.com/.
Stepfamily Support: Explore our IBH stepparent support groups at www.integratedbhs.com.
The Internal U-Turn Workbook: A resource for navigating the "messy middle" of family transitions.
Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for monthly reflections on building a Secure Base.
Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more "Inside-Out" insights.

Is Divorce Messing Up My Kids? A Script for the Secure Base with Dr. Karalynn Royster

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 01:00:00 -0600

“Is this decision going to break my child?”

When a family faces divorce, parents often spiral into intense fear and shame. We worry that our choice to pursue a healthier life will dismantle the Secure Base we’ve worked so hard to build. But as we often say at IBH: our children don’t need us to be perfect; they need us to be regulated, honest, and present.

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Karalynn Royster—child psychologist and creator of the Kids First Co-Parenting System—to move parents from a state of anxiety into a place of empowerment. We explore the "Inside-Out" reality of divorce: how to navigate the "messy middle" of co-parenting, why one secure adult is enough to buffer a child’s stress, and how to tell your kids the truth without "gaslighting" their intuition.

In this episode, we discuss:

The "Messy Middle" of Divorce: Why distress is a healthy response to a major life stressor and how to help your kids move through it, not around it.
The "Flu Shot" Metaphor: Understanding that short-term discomfort (like a separation) can lead to long-term health and a more regulated household.
The Best Way to Tell Your Kids: A step-by-step guide for the "Big Talk"—why you need to be concrete and why it’s never a one-time conversation.
The Power of One: The research-backed truth that it only takes one secure, loving adult to buffer the stress of even the most high-conflict transitions.
Validation vs. Gaslighting: How to be honest about your own "flooding" and anger without burdening your child with the adult details.
The Internal U-Turn for Co-Parents: How to regulate your own nervous system when your ex triggers your "Survival Brain."

Remember: you don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise kids these days.

Links & Resources:

Dr. Karalynn Royster: Discover the Kids First Co-Parenting System and more resources at Dr. Royster’s Website.
The Kids First Podcast: Listen to Karalynn’s deep dives into divorce and high-conflict dynamics.
The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: A resource for IBH listeners to find their own "Smart Brain" during transitions.
Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for weekly reflections on building a Secure Base.
Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for daily "Inside-Out" parenting insights.

Is ADHD Medication "Changing" My Child? The Truth About Neurotransmitter Balance and Good Enough Parenting with Sara Nudd, PMHNP

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 01:00:00 -0600

“If I just try harder, my child wouldn't need this.” “I can exercise my way out of this depression.”

As parents, the pressure to "optimize" our families often turns us into "Human Doings" who are stuck in a state of high-alert. We treat clinical struggles as personal failures. But what if the path to a healthier family wasn't through perfection, but through balance?

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Sara Nudd, PMHNP, founder of The Mama Co-op. Sara shares her incredible "in the trenches" journey from being a 21-year-old mom navigating a medical crisis in the pre-internet 90s to becoming an expert in pediatric and maternal mental health. We dive deep into the science of ADHD medication, the safety of maternal mental health support during pregnancy, and why Good Enough parenting is actually the gold standard.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Internet Gap: Navigating medical crises in the 90s vs. the information overload of parenting today.
Data vs. Connection: Why your child’s behavior is a more important "data point" than any app or thermometer.
The Inhaler Reframe: Why mental health medication is a tool for regulation, much like an asthma inhaler is a tool for breathing.
ADHD Simplified: How stimulants balance dopamine and norepinephrine to support (not change) the existing brain structure.
Maternal Mental Health & Pregnancy: The evidence-based truth about staying stable on medication while trying to conceive or during pregnancy.
The 100% Mistake Guarantee: Why making mistakes—and the repair that follows—is more vital for your child than doing it "perfectly."

Remember: you don't have to be perfect to be a great parent, we are all learning about how to raise kids these days.

Links & Resources:

The Mama Co-Op: Learn more about Sara’s practice and parent coaching at The Mama Co-Op Website
Postpartum Support International: PSI Website– A vital resource for perinatal mental health.
Ollie’s Branch: Support for families navigating congenital heart defects at Ollie’s Branch Website
Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more "Inside-Out" reflections.
Work with IBH: Book a complimentary 15-minute consultation at www.integratedbhs.com

Is it Anxiety or a Stomach Ache? Navigating the Mind-Gut Connection with Dr. Cat Naclerio

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 01:00:00 -0600

“Mommy, my tummy hurts.” It’s the phrase that can derail a morning and send a parent’s stress levels through the roof. When medical tests come back "normal" but your child is still in pain, where do you turn?

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Cat Naclerio, a pediatric psychologist at Children’s Hospital Colorado’s Digestive Health Institute. They pull back the curtain on the GI issues to explain the fascinating science of the brain-gut axis. Dr. Cat explains why our brains and guts are essentially "text messaging" each other all day and why a "sensitive" gut is a very real medical reality—even when nothing shows up on an X-ray.

In this episode, we discuss:

The "Text Message" Metaphor: How the brain and gut communicate through the nervous system.
Medical Red Flags: When to see a specialist vs. when to focus on stress management (fever, weight loss, and other signs).
The "Normal Test" Reframe: Why "everything is normal" is actually good news, not an indication that the pain is "in their head."
The Trap of Pain Check-Ins: Why asking "How is your stomach now?" can accidentally make the pain worse.
The Path Back to School: Why returning to routine is a clinical necessity for healing functional abdominal pain.
Nervous System Resets: Practical tools like diaphragmatic "Belly Breathing" and how to teach them to kids and teens.

Whether you’re navigating chronic nausea, constipation, or the "school morning stomach ache," this episode provides a roadmap for moving from "fixing the pain" to "restoring the life."

About Our Guest: Dr. Cat Naclerio is an Assistant Professor at the University of Colorado School of Medicine and a pediatric psychologist in the Digestive Health Institute at Children's Hospital Colorado. She specializes in evidence-based behavioral skills to strengthen the mind–gut connection.

Links & Resources:

App Recommendation (Teens): Breathe2Relax for guided diaphragmatic breathing.
App Recommendation (Kids): Sesame Street: Breathe, Think, Do for younger children.
Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter.
Work with Us: If you are seeking a consultation for your child’s GI-related anxiety, book a complimentary 15-minute call with Integrated Behavioral Health.
Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more "Inside-Out" parenting insights.

The Gut-Brain Connection: Why Your Child’s Mood Starts in the Gut with Dr. Laura Vanston

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 01:00:00 -0600

Did you know that 90% of your child’s serotonin—the "feel-good" neurotransmitter—is actually made in their gut, not their brain?

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with functional and integrative medicine expert Dr. Laura Vanston to demystify the "gut-brain connection." We often think of anxiety as a "head problem," but Dr. Laura explains why it is a bi-directional highway. When the gut is inflamed or the microbiome is out of balance, it sends distress signals straight to the nervous system, often keeping our kids (and ourselves) stuck in a state of "fight or flight."

In this episode, we discuss:

The Bi-Directional Highway: How the brain talks to the gut (butterflies!) and how the gut talks back to the brain.
The Serotonin Secret: Why gut health is the foundation for mood, focus, and anxiety regulation.
P.O.P (Plants On Purpose): Simple, non-overwhelming ways to add fiber and "rainbows" to even the pickiest eater’s diet.
The Vagus Nerve & Breathwork: Why slowing down our breathing is the "off-switch" for the sympathetic nervous system and how it allows the gut to actually heal.
Beyond the Multivitamin: The specific roles of Vitamin D, Iron (Ferritin), Zinc, and Magnesium in supporting a child’s emotional stability.
Practical "Micro-Shifts": From fermented ketchup to "stair breathing," we explore tools that work for real, busy families.

If you’ve ever wondered why your child’s "nervous stomach" seems to coincide with their biggest meltdowns, this episode will give you the physiological "why" and a roadmap for repair.

About Our Guest: Dr. Laura Vanston is an integrative pediatric nurse practitioner who has dedicated her career to helping parents navigate health and wellness for their kids. She loves helping kids improve gut health and their gut-brain connection to help learning, their immune system, sleep, and more!

Links & Resources:

Fermented Ketchup Recipe: Download here!
Integrative Health: Dr. Laura mentions Tiny Health for individualized gut mapping. Check out her website for more info!
Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for parenting tips.
Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for more on the Internal U-Turn and the Gut-Brain connection.
Website: Learn more about our specialized services at www.integratedbhs.com.

#KidsTheseDays #InsideOutParenting #GutBrainConnection #Microbiome #ChildNutrition #AnxietySupport #ADHD #SecureBase #FunctionalMedicine #ParentingUturn

Taming the Inner Critic: Navigating Negative Self-Talk with Dr. Kathleen Diaz

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 01:00:00 -0600

“I’m stupid.” “I’m going to fail.” “If I don't get an A, I'll never get into college.”

As parents, hearing our children engage in negative self-talk can trigger our own "Internal Critic." We feel the urgency to fix it, to argue against it, or to problem-solve the pain away. But what if our "fix-it" mode is actually closing the door on connection?

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Kathleen Diaz to define what negative self-talk actually is—and why "unhelpful self-talk" might be a more effective term. We dive deep into the experience of the inner critic, exploring why children and teens ruminate and how their behaviors—like defiance or withdrawal—are often communicating the disappointment they can't yet put into words.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Problem-Solving Trap: Why "normalizing" or "investigating" a child’s failure can accidentally lead to invalidation.
Behavior as Communication: How to spot the inner critic in teens who aren't speaking their thoughts out loud.
The Parent’s Internal U-Turn: What to do when your child’s struggle triggers your own fears of not being a "good enough" parent.
The Power of Repair: How to move back into your "Smart Brain" (Prefrontal Cortex) and fix a conversation when you’ve reacted from a place of fear or dysregulation.
Precision over Frequency: How to communicate expectations in a way that builds a "Secure Base" rather than a "Manager" dynamic.

Whether you are navigating an elementary schooler’s math meltdowns or a teen’s high-stakes anxiety, this episode provides a roadmap for moving from "investigator" to "vessel of support" through curiosity and radical accountability.

About Our Guest: Dr. Kathleen Diaz is a licensed therapist specializing in child and adolescent mental health, focusing on evidence-based strategies to help families navigate emotional regulation and the complex inner dialogue of the modern student.

Links & Resources:

Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for monthly parenting tips and practice resources.
Podcast Library: Catch up on previous episodes of Kids These Days.
Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for daily reflections and the messy middle of parenting.
Website: Learn more about our specialized evaluations and therapy services at www.integratedbhs.com.
Dr. Kathleen's Bio

IEP vs. 504 Plans: Decoding the "Alphabet Soup" of School Advocacy with Rachel Schopp

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 01:00:00 -0600

Navigating the school system can feel like learning a foreign language. Between IEPs, 504 plans, MTSS, and specialized educational jargon, parents often find themselves overwhelmed and unsure of how to get their child the support they actually need.

In this episode, Dr. Courtney is joined by Rachel Schopp, a K-12 veteran, former administrator, and educational consultant. Rachel acts as a "translator" for families, helping them cut through the noise and move from guessing to becoming informed, powerful advocates.

If you’ve ever wondered if your child’s ADHD or anxiety warrants a formal plan, or if you’ve been told "the school is already doing everything they would do in an IEP," this episode is for you.

In this episode, we discuss:

The "Environment vs. Curriculum" Rule: Rachel’s simple framework for distinguishing a 504 Plan (environmental accommodations) from an IEP (individualized instruction and curriculum changes).
Civil Rights vs. Education Law: Why a 504 is a lifelong protection and an IEP is a legally binding educational mandate.
The "MTSS" Trap: Why "informal" supports aren't enough and how to respond when a school says a formal plan isn't necessary.
The Power of the Paper Trail: Why "if it isn't in an email, it didn't happen" and how the clock starts the moment you hit send.
Collaboration over Confrontation: How to draft a "Soft Startup" email to your child's teacher that assumes positive intent while holding firm boundaries.
The Intuition Factor: Learning to trust your gut as the expert on your child, especially when "school performance" doesn't match the struggle you see at home.
A Tool, Not a Label: Reframing special education as a temporary scaffold to build self-advocacy skills, rather than a lifetime commitment.

Resources & Connect with Us:

Work with Rachel: Find resources and advocacy support at Allied Education.
School Visit Questionnaire: Going on school tours and having a clear plan on which questions to ask, will empower you with the information you need to make the best school choice for your child and your family! Check it out.
The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: If school stress is triggering conflict in your marriage, download our roadmap to break the cycle here.
Book a Consultation: If you are seeking a neuropsychological evaluation (ADHD, Autism, or Learning Disabilities) to support your child’s school advocacy, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.
Instagram: Follow us for daily "Inside-Out" parenting tips @integratedbh.

Keywords: School Advocacy, IEP vs 504, Special Education, ADHD in Schools, Educational Consultant, Parent Advocacy, Kids These Days Podcast, Dr. Courtney Lynn.

Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.

Self-Care is Not a Spa Day: Reframing Regulation for Busy Parents with Dr. Brittany Wade

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 01:00:00 -0600

We hear the term "Self-Care" everywhere—usually accompanied by images of three-hour spa days or solo vacations. But for parents in the "messy middle," those things don't just feel rare—they feel impossible. When we can't achieve the Instagram version of self-care, we end up feeling two things: Guilt and Pressure.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Brittany Wade, a Licensed Psychologist and founder of Thrive Child Psychology. Together, they are stripping away the "luxury" label and reframing self-care as what it actually is: Nervous System Regulation. If you’ve ever felt like getting the dishes done was "self-care," or if you struggle to ask your partner for the rest you actually need, this episode is for you. We’re moving beyond the "to-do" list to help you build a Secure Base for yourself so you can be one for your children.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Self-Care Myth: Why we need to stop viewing self-care as an "extra" to be earned and start viewing it as a biological necessity for regulation.
Productivity vs. Regulation: The hard truth that checking off your to-do list (like cleaning the baseboards or doing the dishes) is productivity, not self-care.
The Self-Care Grief Process: Acknowledging and mourning the loss of the "old version" of yourself who had unlimited time for gym sessions and solo travel.
Equal vs. Equitable Rest: Why a 50/50 split of chores doesn't account for who is the most "depleted," and how to negotiate for "Equitable Rest" with your partner.
Modeling Regulation: Why the "Selfless Parent" narrative actually harms our children, and how modeling self-care provides them with a regulatory toolkit for life.
Micro-Regulation: Small, 5-minute shifts you can build into your current schedule—from the "coffee in silence" to the "three breaths in the driver's seat."

Episode Timestamps:

[03:29] – Redefining Self-Care: Why it’s not a luxury, it’s regulation.
[05:53] – The "Guilt and Pressure" cycle: Why self-care often feels like another chore.
[08:37] – Self-Care vs. Leisure: Understanding the difference between a hot shower and a round of golf.
[12:38] – The Modeling Aspect: Why your kids need to see you taking deep breaths.
[14:26] – Practical Strategies: Exercise, family walks, and protecting 30 minutes.
[15:50] – The Morning Reset: The clinical value of coffee in silence.
[18:43] – Parenting Reframe: Why self-care doesn't always have to be done "alone."
[21:55] – The Productivity Trap: Why the dishes are not self-care.
[24:51] – Equal vs. Equitable: Navigating depletion levels with your partner.
[28:06] – The Grief of Parenthood: Mourning your pre-kid autonomy.
[30:58] – Closing Thought: Why self-care makes you a better parent, partner, and person.

Resources & Connect with Us:

Work with Dr. Brittany Wade: Visit Thrive Child Psychology for specialized support in Illinois and Florida.
Identify Your Parenting Values: Grief often clarifies what matters most. Download our Free Values Workbook here.
The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: Use this to communicate your needs for rest to your partner without the "Stomp and Slam." Available here.
Book a Consultation: If you are feeling chronically burnt out and ready for specialized support, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.
Instagram: Join our community for "Inside-Out" insights @integratedbh.

Keywords: Parent Self-Care, Nervous System Regulation, Parent Burnout, Dr. Brittany Wade, Dr. Courtney Lynn, Kids These Days Podcast, Attachment Theory, Secure Base, Motherhood Guilt, Equitable Rest.

Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.

How to Talk to Kids About Death and Dying: Honest Conversations in the Messy Middle with Abigail Gellene-Beaudoin, LCSW

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 01:00:00 -0600

It is perhaps the conversation every parent dreads the most: explaining death to a child. Whether it’s the loss of a pet, a grandparent, or a sudden tragedy in the community, our instinct is to protect—to shield our children from the pain of grief. But as we often discuss on this show, protection isn't about the absence of pain; it's about the presence of a Secure Base.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by her long-time friend and colleague, Abigail Gellene-Beaudoin, LCSW. Abigail is a Certified Child Life Specialist with deep expertise in palliative care and supporting families through medical trauma, chronic illness, and end-of-life transitions. Together, they pull back the curtain on why we are so afraid to talk about death and how our own "Internal Weather" as parents shapes our children’s ability to process grief.

If you’ve been searching for the "right" words to say or if you’re navigating a loss right now, this episode provides a compassionate, science-backed roadmap for moving from overwhelmed to attuned during life’s hardest moments.

In this episode, we discuss:

Defining Palliative Care: Shifting the focus from "cure" to "comfort" and why this mindset shift is vital for family communication.
Anticipatory Grief: The "amorphous" phase that happens before a loss occurs. Why kids sense the tension and how they fill in the blanks with their own (often scarier) stories.
Defiance as Communication: Why a child’s opposition or acting out is often a distress signal of powerlessness and a desperate search for control.
The 10-Minute "Connection Dosage": How using a timer and Child-Directed Interaction (CDI) can fill a child’s security bucket when the family system is stressed by loss.
The "D-Word": Why we must avoid euphemisms like "went to sleep" or "passed away." Abigail provides a specific, concrete script for explaining death (e.g., explaining how the brain and body stop working).
The Sturdy Parent: How to model healthy grief by crying in front of your children while reassuring them: "I am sad, but I can handle this and I am still taking care of you."
Continuing Bonds: Rituals for keeping a loved one part of the family "fishbowl," from favorite breakfast spots to rainbow window film.
Re-Grieving Through Development: Why a child may seem "fine" at age three but experience acute grief again at age six as they begin to understand the permanence of death.

About Our Guest: Abigail Gellene-Baudoin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Child Life Specialist (CCLS), and child-centered play therapist dedicated to helping children and families navigate the complexities of healthcare and loss. She is the author of several children’s books designed to provide parents with the scripts they need for life's hardest conversations.

Resources & Connect with Us:

Abigail’s Book: When Hope Changes (A fillable script for parents sharing difficult news).
Recommended Reading: The Invisible String by Patrice Karst.
Join our IBH Parenting Newsletter: To get even more valuable and hands-on information.
Identify Your Parenting Values: Grief often clarifies what matters most. Download our Free Values Workbook here.
The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: When the family system is stressed by grief, conflict often rises. Learn the skills to break the cycle here.
Book a Consultation: If your family is navigating a loss and you're seeking specialized therapeutic support, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.

Keywords: Death and dying, child grief, bereavement, Child Life Specialist, Parenting U-Turn, Attachment Theory, how to talk to kids about death, Palliative Care.

Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.

ADHD Myths & Executive Function: Why Your Child Can Focus and Still Have ADHD with Dr. Stephanie Fox

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 01:00:00 -0600

But my child can play video games for eight hours straight—they can't possibly have ADHD." If you’ve ever said those words, this episode is for you. We often think of ADHD as a deficit of attention, but in reality, it’s a struggle with Executive Functioning—the brain’s internal management system.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Stephanie Fox, a clinical psychologist and expert in neurodevelopmental assessments. Dr. Fox brings a unique perspective to the table: she is both a specialist who evaluates ADHD and an "ADHDer" herself, diagnosed in adulthood.

Together, they cut through the noise to discuss why ADHD is often missed in girls, how "hyperfocus" is actually a clinical sign of the diagnosis, and why a comprehensive evaluation is a "gift" of self-compassion for your child. If you’re ready to move beyond the labels and understand your child’s brain from the Inside-Out, tune in.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Focus Myth: Why the ability to hyperfocus on video games, reading, or scrapbooking actually points toward an ADHD diagnosis, not away from it.
The Brain's "CEO": A deep dive into Executive Functioning—the management tools we use for task initiation, working memory, and time management.
The "Silent" Presentation in Girls: How socialization and perfectionism lead to girls suffering in silence or being misdiagnosed with "just anxiety."
Twice Exceptional (2e): The intersection of high IQ and ADHD, and why "good grades" don't mean a child isn't struggling.
The "Gift" of Assessment: Why an evaluation isn't about a label, but about providing a "user manual" for your child’s brain to foster self-compassion.
Finding the "Jam": How neurodivergent individuals find success by aligning their unique strengths with the right career and environment.

About Our Guest: Dr. Stephanie Fox is the founding psychologist at Four Corner Psychological Services. She specializes in comprehensive evaluations for ADHD, Autism, and learning disabilities. Her work is dedicated to helping individuals and families understand their neurobiology to move from shame to empowerment.

Resources & Connect with Us:

Four Corners Psychological Services: You can find Dr. Fox's practice here.
Integrated Behavioral Health Newsletter: Get expert tips, practical tools, and encouragement straight to your inbox—designed for parents who want guidance, reassurance, and fresh ideas for raising resilient kids. Sign up here.
Book a Consultation: If you suspect ADHD or neurodiversity is playing a role in your family's dynamic, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.
Instagram: Join our community @integratedbh.

Keywords: ADHD myths, Executive Functioning, ADHD in girls, Neurodiversity, Twice Exceptional, 2e, Child Assessment, Dr. Stephanie Fox, Dr. Courtney Lynn, Kids These Days.

Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.

The Attuned Dad: Navigating Modern Fatherhood and the Power of Repair with Dr. Gabe Casher

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 01:00:00 -0600

What does it mean to be a "Modern Dad"? For many fathers, the role has shifted significantly from the previous generation. It’s no longer just about providing financial stability; it’s about being emotionally involved, attuned, and interested in the internal lives of our children. But how do we navigate this shift when we didn't have a roadmap for it?

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Gabe Casher, a clinical psychologist and father who is passionate about supporting dads through the identity transition of parenthood. Together, they explore the "Psychologist to Parent" shift, the trap of linking self-worth to achievement, and why the most powerful thing a father can do is learn the art of a genuine apology.

If you’ve ever felt the pressure to "teach" rather than "connect," or if you're trying to break generational cycles of anger-based parenting, this episode is an essential guide for moving from overwhelmed to attuned.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Identity Shift: Moving from the "Provider" role to the "Attuned Participant" and why the transition to fatherhood changes every other relationship in your life.
Achievement vs. Worth: How children challenge the stereotypical link between achievement and self-worth in men, and the healing that comes from being loved for "who you are" rather than "what you do."
Breaking Generational Cycles: Navigating the transition from fear-based parenting to predictability and secure attachment.
The "I’m Sorry" Practice: Why repair is the most important predictor of a child's psychological health—and how to swallow your pride and own your "stuff."
The Phone-Free Reset: A tangible, 5-minute challenge to increase attunement and notice the "Inside-Out" experience of your family.
Self-Care for Dads: Reframing time away as "not selfish," but as a necessary recharge to be a kinder, more patient parent.

About Our Guest: Dr. Gabe Casher is a Clinical Psychologist in Denver, CO. In addition to his clinical practice, he facilitates a monthly Dad's Coffee Group at The Den in the Highlands, creating a space for fathers to build community, process their experiences, and move toward more intentional, attuned parenting.

Resources & Connect with Us:

Fatherhood Identity Support: To learn more about Dr. Casher's Dad's Coffee Group and his work with fathers, visit The Den's website.
Panorama Psychology: Find Dr. Casher and his team on their website.
Identify Your Parenting Values: Ditch the guilt and start parenting with intention. Download our Free Values Workbook here.
Book a Consultation: If you are a father looking for support in your own identity transition, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.
Instagram: Join our community @integratedbh.

Keywords: Fatherhood, Modern Dads, Parenting U-Turn, Child Development, Emotional Attunement, Attachment Theory, Dr. Gabe Casher, Dr. Courtney Lynn, Kids These Days.

Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.

How to Stop Accommodating Your Child’s Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle from the Inside Out with Dr. Eleanore Hall

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 01:00:00 -0600

If you’ve ever felt like anxiety is the uninvited cousin who showed up to your family dinner and refused to leave, this episode is for you. We often view a child’s anxiety as a problem they are carrying individually, but the clinical truth is that healing happens from the Inside-Out. To change the child’s experience, we often have to change the family environment.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Eleanore Hall, a clinical child psychologist and specialist in pediatric anxiety and OCD. Together, they dive into the "Anatomy of Anxiety" and explore why our parental instinct to protect our children from distress—known clinically as Parental Accommodation—can unintentionally keep the anxiety cycle alive.

From the "Dirty Fishbowl" metaphor to the "Vending Machine" effect of behavioral outbursts, this conversation provides a compassionate, science-backed roadmap for parents who want to move from feeling overwhelmed to feeling attuned.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Anxiety Spectrum: Why anxiety is a "backseat driver" that everyone experiences, and how to know when it’s starting to rob your child of their joy.
The Fishbowl Metaphor: Why we can’t just "clean the fish" (the child) if the "water" (the environment) stays dirty.
Reassurance vs. Information: Identifying the "leaky bucket" of reassurance seeking and how to stop feeding the anxiety drug.
The Bike Seat Metaphor: Learning when to hold on and when to take the brave risk of letting go so your child can learn they are resilient.
The "Vending Machine" Effect: Why behaviors often get worse (the "extinction burst") before they get better, and how to ride the wave.
Supportive Statements: How to validate your child's fear while simultaneously instilling 100% confidence that they can get through it.

About Our Guest: Dr. Eleanore Hall is a clinical child psychologist specializing in pediatric anxiety, OCD, and challenging behaviors. Her training ranges from acute care settings at McLean Hospital to parent-focused work via the SPACE program (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions). She is passionate about working with the whole family system to get kids back to the important work of being kids.

Resources & Connect with Us:

Pediatric OCD and Anxiety: The International OCD Foundation has several helpful resources on their website.
SPACE Program: SPACE stands for Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions and is a parent-based treatment program for children and adolescents with anxiety, OCD, and related problems.
Dr. Eleanore Hall's practice: You can find Dr. Eleanore at WholeMind Psychology.
Book a Consultation: If your family is ready for expert support, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.
Instagram: Join our community @integtatedbh.

Keywords: Child anxiety, parental accommodation, SPACE treatment, parenting tips, emotional regulation, attachment theory, OCD in kids, Dr. Eleanore Hall, Dr. Courtney Lynn, Kids These Days.

Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.

How Kids Trigger Couples Conflict: Breaking the Negative Cycle with Allison Rimland, LPC

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 01:00:00 -0600

No amount of individual therapy or premarital counseling truly prepares you for the emotional "hit" of parenting. When a child screams, refuses to brush their teeth, or struggles at school, it doesn't just trigger our parenting instincts—it often hijacks our relationship with our partner.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Allison Rimland, LPC, an expert in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Together, they pull back the curtain on "The Cycle"—the reactive pattern of pursuing and withdrawing that keeps even the best parents stuck in high-conflict loops.

If you’ve ever felt like your partner is the "bad cop," or if you find yourself "future tripping" about your child's success during a bedtime meltdown, this episode is a roadmap for healing your partnership from the Inside-Out.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Anatomy of the Cycle: Understanding the roles of the Pursuer (who monitors for closeness) and the Withdrawer (who monitors for peace).
The "Soup" of Emotions: Why parenting conflict feels like a "puree" where we can’t distinguish our current stress from our childhood history.
The A.R.E. Acronym: A deep dive into Sue Johnson’s framework—Are you Accessible, Responsive, and Engaged?
Future Tripping: How our fears about our child's future (e.g., "They'll never be employed!") drive us to be harsh and critical with our partners in the present.
The Power of Caregiver Intent: Learning to see the "good intentions" behind a partner’s withdrawal or criticism.
Modeling the Repair: Why your kids don't need perfect parents; they need to see how a safe relationship recovers from a messy moment.
Your Partner as a Resource: Shifting from "me against you" to "us against the pattern."

About Our Guest: Allison Rimland, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor and the founder of Thrive Family Services. She specializes in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, helping them navigate the complexities of attachment, parenting, and relational healing.

Resources & Connect with Us:

Read Allison’s Blog: Navigating Differences in Parenting Styles
Read Allison’s Blog: Five Things Couples Can Do To Be Good Partners in Parenting
Visit Thrive Family Services: thrivefamilyservices.com
Identify Your Parenting Values: Ditch the guilt and start parenting with intention. Download our Free Values Workbook here.
The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: Map your family’s specific conflict cycle and learn the skills to break it. Available here.
Book a Consultation: If your partnership is feeling the strain of parenting stress, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at Integrated Behavioral Health.
Instagram: Join our community for "Inside-Out" insights @integratedbh.

Keywords: Couples Conflict, EFT, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Allison Rimland, Parenting Stress, Negative Cycle, Attachment Theory, Marriage Advice, Dr. Courtney Lynn, Kids These Days.

Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. We are all learning how to raise kids these days.

Kids These Days- Trailer

Sat, 27 Dec 2025 17:00:00 -0600

Are you tired of the "perfect parenting" scripts that seem impossible to follow in real life? Welcome to the trailer for Kids These Days!

In this show, we’re moving beyond the "stuffy expert" persona to have honest, science-backed conversations about the biological reality of raising humans. This podcast is a space for the parents who are done with perfection and ready for attunement.

Resources & Connect with Us:

Follow the Journey: Hit "Follow" or "Subscribe" right now so you never miss an episode. Our official launch is January 13th!
Identify Your Parenting Values: Ditch the guilt and start parenting with intention. Download our Free Values Workbook here.
Instagram: Join our community @Integratedbh.
Website: Learn more about our specialized therapy and parent coaching at Integrated Behavioral Health.

You don’t have to be perfect to be a great parent. Let’s figure out how to raise kids these days together.