“You think this is funny? My hair stood on end and my eyes nearly popped out. Thank goodness I’d heard the other two bulletins first.”

She’s brave, but oh dear! It’s not going to get any better. This time, it’s an AI Bot which has gone rogue – a prospect that terrifies many people. It’s only taken up baking for now, but what’s next? Luckily, the report concludes with a very soothing comment.

The headlines only hint at the horror to come:

· Chatbot quits to open bakery;

· Cat people link to global warming;

· Hundred-year hold-up hits Crentmore Travel;

· And in the Paraforecast, psychomagnotheric flood risk rises.

You’re probably scared to let your friends know about all this. It’s too weird and uncanny. But you should tell everyone you can – with a psychically active flood around the corner, they really need to know.

Give them the good news - if they hide behind the sofa for the worst bits and stick with it, this bulletin lasts less than 20 minutes.

And the bad news? There’s more to come next Thursday. And more Lost Lore at www.lostlore.com

Be warned! Bulletin Three is jam-packed with the uncanny. For a start, there’s a maelstrom of hell-spawn and splurting malevolence with dark invocations and diabolic imagery from around the world. Not to mention 27 demons, a nameless thing, and a spectral ukelele.

Oh, and if you are our listener, thank you for braving all this. Do please tell your friends. Otherwise you’ll be the only one who knows what to do when something occult strikes - which is to call the Paranews hotline so we can report it.

Here are the headlines:

• German arts collective unleashes supernatural storm;
• Dentists at risk over vampire fillings;
• And Crentmore Travel in Valhalla blunder: Valkyries say no.

This is our longest bulletin yet at almost 20 minutes (we did say it was packed).

If that’s too much weirdness for you – and unless you’re the kind of person who laughs in the face of soul-blasting madness, it almost certainly is – we won’t judge you if you put your fingers in your ears halfway through.

More Paranews next Thursday. More Lost Lore at lostlore.com

“N-not supposed to be,” some brave soul stammered while we hid as best we could under the table. A spectral hand wagged a warning finger.

Nothing more happened, so after a while, we climbed out and carried on. Which means Paranews Bulletin Two is now available.

Bizarrely, it seems that some supernatural entities have got the idea that we’re making a comedy. Despite what writers like Christopher Moor and Terry Pratchett may suggest, ghosts, vampires, trolls, and witches are no laughing matter.

In this bulletin, we’ve risked their unearthly wrath to bring you more breaking news of the uncanny. Here are the headlines:

• Motorists shrunk by strange cloud on the M40;
• Missing village found – but all wrong;
• Paranormal travel bureau opens in Crentmore;
• And, in the Paraforecast, another freakish supernatural weather event.

All this in one packed 10 minute bulletin (it’s shorter than the last one as our clairvoyant foresaw that you’d be in a hurry).

Share it far and wide!

That’s the kind of sheer mind-altering terror you may expand experience when you listen to LostLore’s Paranews. It’s the only place to go for the latest news of the supernatural and paranormal, plus all the headlines from uncanny realms. Don’t expect to hear any of it from your everyday broadcasters. They’re far too scared to report it.

You too could hide away in a cupboard. But you need to know this stuff. What would you do if you were clogged in a porridge flood triggered by malfunctioning fairy technology? We report on just such a flood in our first bulletin. And there’s more:

· Do ghosts have human rights? A major court case will decide.

· Village disappears during cheese rolling festival: our reporter Stella Twinkle is there with the latest;

· And don’t miss the Paraforecast: your go-to source for all the supernatural weather.

All this in one packed 15 minute bulletin. There will be a new episode every Thursday - but don’t wait. Better listen now. And your friends need to know this too – share it far and wide.

Find out more at www.lostlore.com