with societal norms and expectations? Should we not all feel accepted for

whoever and however we show up here, regardless of what most people feel is

"best?"

The Laws of Trust, Honesty, Tolerance, Gentleness, Joy,

Defenselessness, Generosity, Patience, Faithfulness, and Open-Mindedness are

listed among the ten laws that Jon Mundy mentions as the "laws of

happiness."   

These terms are self-explanatory. We can all understand the

value of living with the guidance of what these terms represent. 

The highlight of what I see to be apparent in being

"assessed" and that which is gleaned from reports that are generated

following the assessment process, is that in acknowledging ourselves we allow

for the "other." As I see

myself more clearly, I am open to the personality differences of another. And

as I open to both, I accept and honor differences in both.     

Now there's a path to happiness!

If you are stuck in a work-life that feels wrong, you do need to pay attention. Listen to the tugs; they are connected to a knowingness within you. We say we have a "gut feeling," an intuition. I like to think of it as our heart trying to have an intimate conversation with our head.

We are not certain about this thing called passionate work. We know what seems to have meaning to us individually, uniquely. But maybe there is "purpose" and meaning in work that is useful. Maybe we grow into the passion for our work because we feel an alignment with the value of what we do for work.

Exploring these ideas has created an opening in my own thinking, in my personal beliefs about meaning and purpose in the work that we do. Maybe we create more stress with this idea of finding passionate work, seeking work that is purposeful. Maybe all work is meaningful and it is up to the individual to see the purpose in the work. After all, everything depends on how we choose to see it, doesn't it?

How do we do that---change the way we look at things?

I believe that it all begins with who we are Being...are we leading with self-love, self-respect, self-awareness, and acceptance or are we totally being influenced by external factors?

COVID has caused so many of us to reconsider our options...we have become more insistent on not only what we want to do but also how we want to do it. It is not unlike having experienced an involuntary job loss, in the sense that this change presents an opportune moment to reflect on what we really want. It's a gift, a blessing under the guise of a "problem." It depends on how we look at it, right?

Listening to her, I could not help thinking about how and why we couldn't all be blessed with that level of self-awareness. Even when we begin not knowing what we want to do for a career, how can we step forward into one thing, learning along the way, paying attention, to what we like and what we do not? How do we prevent closing the door to other possibilities?

Amber's story is inspirational. It teaches openness, self-acceptance, courage, and persistence. That's what we hear, what we learn from her. She knows that anyone can get to the work that is meant for them if they pay attention along the way and make adjustments accordingly.

We are told, often these days, that social intelligence is something that can be developed. The reason we might want to improve in our own level of awareness is to enable us to have a degree of compassion for ourselves, which then naturally leads to being aware and understanding of others with whom we live, work, and play.

And there are residual benefits of going through the assessment process. These benefits are inevitable and helpful. The reports allow us to extrapolate to others, mostly those with whom we live, work, and play. In accepting what is true of us, we somehow end up clear about how others may differ and how we might accept what is true about them.

It is personally rewarding to experience self-acceptance in the client and even more exciting when they understand the value of how it translates to acceptance of the other. It's "I'm okay, You're Okay," which is a beautiful thing.

We need to be what makes us happy. When we are experience happiness, it is contagious and we bring that wherever we are. It's infectious.

It's our responsibility to ourselves and the universe to be what is our purpose and that which is entirely in line with your philosophy. So, how does that happen?

Is this "radical reflection" something reserved for a segment or for all of us? We all want to live meaningful lives, have a purpose for our time here, and be happy. Recognition of our personal philosophy can help us get there more efficiently.

But there is another aspect to the work we do. There is the leadership and the corporate mission and vision. There are other employees with whom we work each day. These two aspects represent at least fifty percent of the reason we may experience a level of happiness with our "work."

We might even decide against leaving a job for higher income because of how content we are with our boss and co-workers. After all, money is not everything.

How is your company culture? What are the things you look for and prefer in your boss and the people with whom you work daily?

It is another factor to consider in making choices.

These are questions that I believe are worthwhile to explore. We owe it to ourselves to live the life we were "meant to," which can only really mean that which leaves us feeling a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. There is no resentment here nor is there a comparison to any other. It simply is self-love and self-care with a sense of service.

I think when we judge, whether it is ourselves, another, a situation, or a job (as one that is "beneath" us, for example), we lose opportunity and possibility. We may discount viable and even wonderful prospects.

Something to consider.

Nevertheless, we can't waste the gap year. We must step in somewhere. We must act in our own best interest to discover ourselves and our place in the world of work by getting involved. Start small and just do it. The best that can happen is that you fall into a space and place that hints at something you enjoy. Then you take it further. You will inevitably land somewhere.

Our quote from Teddy Roosevelt reminds us that the credit doesn't go to he who hesitates and waits. It goes to he who moves and attempts a position and fails. The failures only inform him, not defeat him.

We love "The Man in the Arena" quote because it encourages and supports us to do what we are, even when we aren't exactly clear what that is. It affirms to us that although we may not be one of the "lucky ones" who simply know precisely what their role in life is, we get one step closer to our purpose each attempt we make to get in the arena.

In EQ terms, Michael Singer's book, The Untethered Soul, reminds us to receive our emotions --that which is our energy in motion--for the value they bring to us in coming into contact with our purpose---who we are and what we are intended to do in our being here in this lifetime.

The beauty in all of this is that rather than focusing on what we do not have or need or lack (scarcity mind), we are entirely focused on all that we are (mind of abundance), allowing us to get on with our purpose and make our unique contribution that ensures our own personal happiness and success. When our life works, we will always be a force for good in the world, inspiring others to make their lives work. You won't be telling them, you will instead show them how.

And in thinking about that aspect, meaning if there is a connection between personality and choosing more appropriately for ourselves, is it possible to consider how certain personalities fare better in other aspects of life?

Let's consider health and our unique responses to a scary diagnosis. Why is it that some people hear the same dire diagnosis and come out of it entirely differently. If we look at those who experience what is known as "spontaneous remission" and those who simply go downhill, might we see personality differences? If so, do we dare draw conclusions if/when it is appropriate?

On the health front, as mystifying as it is, we do know that studies continue on the mind/body connections. I am not sure we will ever be able to conclusively understand why or how these occurrences are.

Still, the questions remain about personality and optimal choices. And it only emphasizes the need for all of us to utilize as many resources as we can to allow ourselves the greatest opportunity to make decisions that help to ensure our happiness and success.

The simple answer is no. One type is NOT better than another and our type can not explain or predict our behavior.

While our "personality style, type or preferences" are formed quite early on in our lives (some experts do mention that tender age of five), there is no "if, then" statement that can be made; there is no definitive information that can be given to indicate a behavioral response based on type.

We may have a predominant style, but each situation and every experience one has allows us to grow. We incorporate lesser dominant styles as we continue on the path of time in interactions with others. We mature. And we learn how to interact using our own style and potentially recognize the preferences of the other, making allowances with that understanding.

To be clear, it is a personal choice. We can choose to love ourselves, which then in turn assists us in making good decisions. And we deserve that. We ought not deprive ourselves of this right--self-respect and self-love is both our right and our responsibility.

Identifying the feeling and sitting with it to get in touch with its "message," begins the process. Sending love its way to welcome it and let it be allows for understanding and love to be our guide. We want that and need that.

Listen to one set of steps that walk you through the process for this valuable practice.

"Your time is limited and you're supposed to be using it for something meaningful."

Michael Singer

It's about our perceptions versus the truth; Our separation ideas versus our reality in the oneness that we are. As many of our resources insist, Patent's Univeral Principles remind us that we entered this existence knowing exactly who we are but signed on for a human experience, which caused us to forget.

This is one of at least two podcasts that presents the value of the 24 points identified by Patent, which he refers to as "Universal Principles." Listen, learn, and access his website, arnoldpatent.com to gain more wisdom from his words.

Does that sound outlandish and too bold a statement for you to buy into? Well, consider this:

Your EQ will determine your behavior, performance, and decision-making. How we behave and perform and the decisions we make will make the difference in the quality of our own mental and physical lives and the relationships we have with others.

A Course in Miracles includes the teaching and concepts in emotional intelligence development. It speaks about the ego, projection, and forgiveness in a psychologically sound manner. Most importantly, it is about removing "the blocks to love's presence."

These are powerful systems that can positively influence and change our lives and the lives of those around us.

How might you respond to the question : Who are you? What are you? What are you really good at? What do other people in your life say about you?

If we have had parents or authority figures provide feedback about our talents and abilities early on in life, we have been in receipt of this information by the time we have to make career decisions. If not, if we are not so fortunate, what we may consider doing may be tainted by what the world seems to value-namely a degree of fame and fortune.

It's another question-who are you and where is the excitement for you?

It's not the same in caring for our psychological well being. We are not always as familiar with resources available to help us. Even when we are, accessing those resources may be accompanied with self-punishing thoughts and unconscious behaviors. We may feel guilty that we even need help; we may be embarrassed about it. We may reject the notion, and resist getting the help we need, leaving us feeling like a failure.

None of those reactions (and that's what they are) are even necessary. We are better to develop the compassion for ourselves and reach out, knowing that help available. Besides, the people who love us are there for us. They are more than willing to open their hearts and hold our hand.

• It is a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his/her abilities
• He/she can cope with the normal stressors of life
• He/she can work productively and fruitfully

I can't help but see the correlation between knowing who you are and what you want to do in life with mental health. If we simply consider what self-awareness provides us, we can easily imagine how that might contribute to a healthy self-image. A positive self-image gets us the level of confidence necessary to make life choices that make sense for our ultimate happiness and success.

And this all correlates easily with emotional intelligence, as self-awareness is the first component of an emotionally healthy individual.

We are all teaching and learning every day, even if and when we are not conscious of it. We don't need to be in the position called teacher, do we?

So for me, I learn when I read and I learn from my students, colleagues, friends, and interviewees. What I received from our last guest, Joe, was the importance of paying attention. Holding a vision, he stepped forward with confidence that as long as he headed toward that picture of what he wanted, he could land in a desirable space. And he did.

Whether we are new to the job market or transitioning, it is to our benefit to heed the message of paying attention, having some sort of a vision for ourselves, and then heading in that direction. That's what we learn from Joe's story.

Trust plays in as well. And that's facilitated by this idea of attention and vision. To quote another favorite--"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined" (Henry David Thoreau)

Joe Kreuz embodies this better than anyone I know. So how did he manage to do what evades so many of us?

Listening to Joe tell his story makes me think that he did a couple of things. First, he paid attention early on; he was definitely self-aware. He had a vision and a model in his own father. He started out with a general idea and went "confidently in the direction of (his) dreams," in the words of Henry David Thoreau. And then, the universe "conspired in helping him achieve" those dreams, to quote from a beloved book, The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho).

Perhaps no one is surprised that Joe is a people person who has cultivated relationships that he says will last a lifetime. But clearly, he has weathered storms during his career, just like all of us. Covid was another hit just this past year. Here again, he credits his wife and a great partnership with helping him through those times--clearly two critical relationships.

Tune in to hear Joe speak with the ease of someone who neither takes himself too seriously (his words) nor takes his success and happiness for granted.

Consider that each human being is either aware of their emotions and can manage them or they are being run by them. Here's the definition by Daniel Goleman: "...(EQ) refers to the array of personal-management and social skills that allows one to succeed in the workplace and life in general. EQ encompasses intuition, character, integrity, and motivation. It also includes good communication and relationship skills." So, if you are not aware and able to manage your emotions through sensitive expression, then what is apt to occur is that you will be led by your unmanaged emotions, risking unproductive and negative expressions that are off-putting to others with whom you interact.

With only that much, is it not easy to see how extrapolating the ability to be emotionally intelligent from the personal to the national and global challenges of and in the world is an answer?

Of course, he was not speaking literally, we understand. But he refers to the notion that while things seem daunting, we sometimes freeze with intimidation of the enormity of the challenge. What can little me possibly do to change the big world?

First, we need to change our minds. Ask yourself, am I being led by fear or love? What is it that I see out in the world that is reflective of me and how I think or believe? Draw the connections with truth and authenticity and then make a decision to contribute to peace and positivity. It's up to you, after all--your choice!

We all know that love is the answer. When we hear it coming in the voice of another or read it on the page of someone's writing, we experience that sense of knowing. We agree; the truth is always recognizable, if only deep within our hearts.

Living with love, insisting on love as our guide with all we do and say makes us whole. We easily derive a sense of peace. It always begins with self-love and radiates outward from there. That's where we achieve the highest calibration in terms of our energy. That is our greatest opportunity to do what we love and experience love in our personal lives.

Integrity and love are sister concepts. When we are loving and acting in accordance with our truth, we won't fail because we are living with and in integrity.

Consider reading Martha Beck's new book on the subject: The Way of Integrity FInding The Path to Your True Self.

If we really thought about it, doing and behaving as we truly are is not only natural but also a relief. Why? Because for so many of us and for such a long time, we have been doing otherwise. Reasons for this have to do with self-consciousness, a feeling of not being enough, just as we are. It is a lie we tell ourselves as we look out into the world to obtain verification of only that. What appears to the contrary, we sadly reject in favor of this erroneous idea that we do not have what it takes.

But the unfortunate truth is that I can assure you and you might receive all kinds of material to reassure you that what is true about you is not only good enough but perfect. It only works when each of us knows and embraces our own truth with self-love and acceptance. If you haven't already, I hope to add to the motivation for you to give the gift of this truth to yourself now.

We review each step here, highlighting the importance of each, and referring back to so many other shows in which we captured the same essence. It's "rules to live by," and "how to be happy," although his list is on Success. It's the same thing. A successful life is a happy life and vice versa.

We review and provide commentary on each of these 21 essentials of how to live. You may add your own as you listen in on the points he deems essential. They truly are the rules to live by.

Like many, there were sparks of illumination in some of her professional roles. While she did not necessarily consider herself drawn to Development work per se, she realized that she loved being able to learn about a cause and then deliver impassioned speeches to prospects. She discovered not only a sense of accomplishment but also touched a sense of purpose and meaning in that work.

From a sense of knowing that "she liked to talk to people" and that she preferred not to sit at a desk all day, her best realizations occurred when she was able to "stop the noise" and pay attention to her authentic voice. We can "ignore our intuition" so easily and be "led by fear" so often. In other words, we can live an unconscious life but will only regret it. In Minnie's words, "a head filled with noise drowns out our authentic voice." Attending to that voice of wisdom within is the only way to discover the work that is meant for you.

We tend to "fool ourselves" with these subconscious efforts to protect ourselves, but what happens, in reality, is that we self-sabotage. They are designed to do exactly what we don't want to happen, to alienate us from our partner.

Ask yourself about your behaviors within your so-called "intimate relationships." Do you find yourself critical, defensive, holding contemptuous feelings for the one you said you loved? Do you stonewall when your partner is reaching out to address an issue of importance to him or her?

Awareness is the first step to resolution. Take this bit of understanding and shine a light on your and your partner's behavior. Change your mind first, before you decide to change your partner.

It is essential that you prepare ahead of time for a face-to-face interview. It is likewise important to "review" what took place during the face-to-face opportunity you were given to sell yourself. How did you do? What took place at the initial interaction? Did you approach smiling and with a firm handshake or were you so nervous that it got in your way? Were your responses to their questions right on, highlighting the best of what you have to offer? Did you stick to answering the question that was asked or did you veer off into lengthy tangents?

What would you have done better? Were you able to state clearly how you were able and willing to do the job in the specific organization and department? Remember that you can always learn on the job specifics but you can't be motivated where you have little or no interest. That will likely show through for a good interviewer and it is important. They are looking for your skill and your interest but also they need to be able to visualize you as a member of the team. How do you feel you did in that regard?

It's like the world called a time-out. We drew a collective sigh and breath as we took a deeper look into who we are and what we're up to. How did we or can we use what we have learned, especially about ourselves and our own needs?

We may even have considered our personal lives. Were they/are they all they could be? Does our relationship meet our needs or have we been somehow settling for less than we deserve? Have we been the best we could be as partners ourselves? What about the children and the people we cherish? Did it take a pandemic to allow us to appreciate what we have?

It is entirely reasonable to think that many of us have benefited from the time away from our routines of life. At a minimum, we have understood the importance of those we love but perhaps there are much greater lessons learned. Perhaps your response was much more profound.

Whether you used this time to get clear on what is truly important, or allowed that fact to become the driving force for real change in your work and/or home life, it is, as always, your call. Hopefully, you will recall this time when your personal shift transitioned from what you have lost to all you have gained.

Whether we are consciously aware of the factors that influence our choices in career path selection or not, they are nonetheless present and at work "behind the scenes" of our life, so to speak. If you are one to have given this any thought, you likely know this and recognize what those influencers have been for you.

In general, we have our lifestyle preferences, such as married with or without children. To some extent, this choice will dictate how we manage our home/work-life balance. Then we have our personality and the needs that motivate us, in terms of financial expectations, etc.. There are inevitably cultural influencing factors as well.

We have a fair amount of common ground here as workers, but we ought to understand our uniqueness so that we decide most appropriately.

With the understanding that you alone are responsible for your happiness, you look to the self as the source. You are empowered with the knowledge that you are not a victim. In fact, you are clear that there are never any victims in the consequences of one's life, there are only volunteers. Following this logic, you can change your mind, your circumstance, and therefore impact the status of your contentment.

Blaming someone else for what happens to us or with us only weakens us. Although it may cause the one being blamed to feel a sense of guilt, it provides zero traction for us to change what made us unhappy in the first place. Instead, we are well-advised to own responsibility for what happens, as that alone allows us to positively impact our own status.

Holding ourselves responsible and accountable is a good thing. It demonstrates the power we authentically own over how we respond to what happens. We accept responsibility, knowing we are able to change what we do in the future. There is no blame or "finding fault with," but rather a sense of having control over our choices and decisions in an effort to improve.

How many of us have actually stopped to think of the message being sent here? Who is sending the message? Is it some higher spirit to get our attention or is it simply ourselves to ourselves? The self-fulfilling prophetic nature of our experience is obvious. We attract the experiences to us that will further our own point of view (This is explained in Paul Levy's books and teachings). But our 'own point of view' is terribly flawed, obviously. If we created it, can we undo it? Can we dream ourselves awake?

If there is synergy, we have the potential for a positive, productive union. The "assessment" piece just gets us to decision-making a little sooner, and a bit more efficiently, maybe. Without it, we could use up precious time (I intentionally did not use the word 'waste,' as I believe nothing is wasted; we are always learning).

Paying attention. That's what it comes down to. Attending to your own inner voice or intuition. And paying attention to the other, with whom you need to engage.

Knowing your preferences and understanding another's is better than nice to know. It's proven to be a need to know to avoid unnecessary errors and get right on to what is best for you. It's a more direct route to happiness and success and we each deserve that!

Knowing your style and motivational needs for a job interview allows you to stay in authentic communication, as you describe how you're a match in skill, motivation (interests), and culture. Having an understanding of how we categorize the styles helps you in making an educated guess on your interviewer's needs. Meeting them at their needs will greatly assist in you coming across most effectively.

If we are speaking personally, everyone prefers to be treated the way they need to be treated, to feel good about the interaction. So if you are able to adjust yourself and still remain in authentic communication, you leave a positive impression and increase the chances of continuing to remain in the relationship. At the other end, it helps facilitate decisions about the unlikelihood of a match, thereby saving both parties time and trouble.

Finally, one benefit of this analysis not often discussed is the fact that in understanding style differences, we gain a degree of empathy and tolerance for others. We realize that although we all share humanity, we do not always share similar personality traits or with what we need in a job match or a mate match. I think this understanding allows us to drop any judgment in that realization. A "side effect benefit to a more peaceful co-existence!

Knowing what motivates us helps us understand our needs and wants. Yes, it clarifies the kinds of job details that meet our unique needs and even tells us what we want to avoid. So, how can we understand those aspects of our nature and personality so that we consider them as we proceed in our search?

Whether seeking to select your most suitable career path, or become more aware of what you need in a partner, taking the time to assess your needs, motivations and /or style preferences will provide a process.

So I keep going back, in my mind, to what is this injustice here to reflect back to us about what are we doing to ourselves for ourselves. Because I am of the belief that things happen for us not to us, I keep considering the message.

To me, COVID's message has something to do with our separation, our division, we need to stay "distant." Well, isn't that what got us there in the first place?

The more we insist on our division, separation from one another, the more we consider our differences rather than our oneness, being separated is what we will have. It's not far-fetched to draw these connections and conclusions. It makes total sense. It's like the universe is saying to us, okay, so you're separate, then being socially distant and cut off from the opportunity to connect intimately with conversation, sharing a meal, and celebrating holidays and joyous occasions won't be a problem! It's what you want, isn't it? But that's what was evident in your thoughts and actions!

Change our thoughts and we change the world! What world do you want to live in, the one guided by Love or Fear?

Just writing the litany of our recent issues makes me feel a sense of gloom and doom. But here's why we can't and shouldn't give in to the hopelessness that may arise in us: We have every right to expect that change is not only possible but probable.

Who is it up to?

Us!

Each and every one of us has the power to change our circumstances and be a part of the solution. Find it in your heart to remain open. As Michael Singer, the author, tells us: Do not let anything to close your heart. He says that closing your heart blocks your energy flow, which is how you are a source of light for all those around you.

Another of my favorite quotes by Booker T. Washington: "I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him." That (hating) would be a perfect example of closing your heart!

There is so much more that unites us than divides us. What does it take to convince us?

Depending on how we respond to good and bad events, we either learn from them or we get discouraged, often giving up the possibility of ever trying again.

We want love in our lives and we can keep love, but it does depend on how we choose to hold our experiences. We have a choice in how we respond to all that happens.

Thoreau said, "What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen."

When we first meet George Bailey, the protagonist of It's a Wonderful Life, we can't help but like him. He is an ethical, hard-working son from a good family, who happens to save his brother's life.

One of the first things we learn about George is that his passion is world travel. He is an "explorer" at a very young age and just can't wait to spread his wings to travel the globe. It's all he talks about. His determination held out even as a brief tragedy, the death of his father, delayed him. His younger brother gets to pursue his dreams ahead of him.

By now, viewers are feeling a bit sad and frustrated on behalf of this super guy. We want him to have his dream, to get out of Dodge and see the world.

But his plans are once again dashed when he falls in love with a local girl. Between that wrench and the dilemma of "doing the right thing" by his Dad's legacy, he settles into a life of domesticity and small-town existence. He doesn't even get to have his thoughtfuly planned honeymoon!

George's life bears little resemblance to what he may have envisioned, so is what happened his true purpose? Or did his life's meaning take a detour? How are we to assess his life, other than by the results that unfold and demonstrate his value to so many? How else could his true purpose be revealed other than precisely how it did? ?

We often hear it said that the life we have is full of intention. Our purpose is evident in the unfolding of our time here. What happens is prescribed for the unique evolution of our souls.

But then we have examples of those with whom we are familiar, living lives of quiet desperation. Are we to believe that this was their prescription? Did they really come here to suffer in a particular way that gets them the limited progress intended for them this time, which they then must continue in their next life?

We all experience suffering; it's part of the human condition. But it does appear to be true that while some seem to get it quite right, others appear horribly off track. It is often the case that these folks admit to being off the mark; they're not happy.

Maybe, no matter what it looks like, life is as it should be for each of us. If we feel an "imbalance," maybe we are using the wrong evaluation criteria. Maybe, it all gets balanced, with sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. Maybe it doesn't matter a hill of beans, because this experience, where we believe we separated from our Source, isn't true at all. What we need is to come to that conclusion on our own, though, even if true.

No one is spared suffering but perhaps much of it is a matter of choice and perception.

Viktor Frankl wrote, " Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose." This is a reminder that no matter what our life circumstance is, we will be okay, but if we fail to be and do what was intended for us to be and do, our lives will become unbearable.

Discovering what we love to do, what we're good at, and what we are noted for, gives hints to our passions. And doing that work will reveal our purpose in a direct way. It will answer that question about why you were born.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said that "good luck is another name for tenacity of purpose." Keep your eye on the ball of your intention to live your purpose and "luck" will seem to find you.

After you define your purpose, blend your talent or gifts with service to your world and you live with love in your life every single day. It's the only way to live!

You came here for a purpose. It's your job to discover that purpose. When we listened to last week's show with our passionate teacher you had to have heard the joy she expressed in doing work that fulfills her. She said that being a teacher "lit up her soul."

I have often said that we are each one of three types: The one who knows for sure what they are meant to do at an early age, the one who begins down a particular road and somehow "falls into" work that they love, and the one who never quite feels at home with what they do for a living.

Those in this third category are no different than those in the first two, in terms of having a distinct purpose. One might ask why they are a member of this third group? How did they come to choose this rather unfulfilling path? Are they doomed or can they still figure it out for themselves, no matter how old they are nor how long they have been working disconnected from their heart's calling?

What is blocking their ability to hear and see what is in their hearts?

Here's the thing: Heart messages are only revealed once we are open and willing to accept what is for us. Meaning, it's not that there is no such message for you; it's that you aren't hearing or seeing it.

There were steps and missteps, but in the end, she chose the proper fit in the field of education. She tells us exactly how she uncovered her passion, asking herself the right questions, and being willing to pursue the direction where she felt "most fulfilled." She reflects, on " the moments when (she) was happy" as she reviewed her work life.

How many of us are so thoughtful in our career decisions? How willing have we been to ask ourselves the right questions, hear the answer, and then act upon it? It takes courage and belief in not only the personal benefits of doing what we love but also in how we can bestow our unique value to the world.

Here is advice directly from one who has done just that. Listen and be inspired to pursue your own dreams!

Our false self is nothing more than our body and all that is connected to our ego structures. I call it our name, rank, and serial number. That's who most of us, at least for a time, think we are. But who our parents are, where we grew up, and what schools we attend are all interesting but they are not who we are. Our true identity, in fact, has nothing at all to do with what we look like nor how smart we are, or how much money we have.

Our authentic selves are stable and unattached to this world. It has been referred to as our soul or the face we had before we entered our mother's womb. Our true selves are unchangeable and have no end. Living authentically can allow us an incredible life journey!

Doing is activity; being is a state of identity. The dictionary states that "being is the nature or essence of a person." We can't possibly know what we want to do before we understand who we are and what we want to be. Optimally, we want to align our choice with our nature or essence. That correlation must feel like home to us. Could it be that in questioning ourselves in this manner, we would get closer to the truth of who we are and what we are consciously accepting as our destiny?

Asking the question of being inserts the authenticity of the soul's purpose, while the doing could easily involve more elements of our ego, which we know is highly influenced by worldly factors that have little to do with who we are.

We already know that we are not taught much from either parents or teachers on how to go about an internal reflection of heart and soul on the matter of career. That is up to us as individuals to seek out and choose. It is a responsibility that we can neither deny or afford to ignore.

Framing a question in a particular manner can make the difference between inviting a conversation or causing a defensive reaction. Again, the consciousness required in an emotionally intelligent individual allows for improved and more harmonious relationships. We all prefer that, so it is on us to learn how we can be better, do better in our listening and in how we respond so we can have and enjoy peaceful, positive relationships with others.

Consider the idea that a "why" question tends to sound confrontational, while a re-framing of the same question using a how or what can open the door to an open-minded invitation for better understanding on both sides.

It forces us to look at our own lives and consider its meaning. What are we doing here? If we believe that we were imprinted with our mission in our mother's womb, we might ask, am I living the life that was designed for me?

The only thing we know for sure about death is that everyone here will die. Our experience may tell us that some die living and others live dying. Another cause for reflection. Still, death itself remains a mystery and therefore both fascinates and frightens us at the same time. We have an innate fear of the unknown.

What that suggests is that we know we are headed to the same fate but are we living while we are dying or dying while we are living? How can we be sure that we are doing what we are meant to do?

Most of us sense the brevity of time and somewhere we know that we need to use it well for a there is an intention for us to use this time for a distinct purpose.

Looking externally for someone or something to blame leaves us at the effect of what happens, rather than the cause. In this way, we have no power; we are victims of our circumstance.

When we are managing our emotions, we can respond to what happens, giving us an opportunity to positively affect our perceptions, behavior and decision making. We are response-able.

In reactive mode, where our thinking minds are disengaged, we are at the mercy of what happens.

Taking responsibility is understanding that we are creative powerful beings who are given choice and therefore are truly at the cause of our circumstance. Everything that happens is for our benefit and we worked to create it in our lives. Why? Because we need the experience to learn what we came here to learn.

While we often can not control what happens, we can always control what we do about what happens. We have two choices: we can react and place blame on other people or situations or we can respond by simply working to make it better.

It is one hundred percent our choice.

Professor Laurie Santos (Yale Happiness course) suggests five ways to cope, most of which are preventative maintenance.

First, there is exercise, where we experience the mood-boosting benefits of endorphins. Next is our attention to gratitude. Feeling grateful, expressing gratitude, even writing in a journal about that for which we feel grateful. Sleep is another important ingredient, as ensuring a proper amount of rest fortifies us against the stress of daily life and allows our metabolism to properly function. Our social connections have long been understood to bring us a feeling of contentment and joy so we need to continually attend to our relationships with others. Finally, we will need to build our emotional intelligence. Understanding our emotions, developing strategies to recognize, accept, examine and nurture our own and others' emotions features prominently in our sense of well-being.

No one can tell you anything that you can't tell yourself better. Go toward your joy and notice your feeling as you do something you love to do!

It is not that this is a challenge so much as it's not really our way. We are told by those in authority that there are professions that garner respect and make us the income we need to be happy. But that's not true! All the money in the world will not make us happy and we know that. We have seen how little money can mean when it comes to our happiness. And as for respect, everyone respects one who stands up for what he wants. What is most important is that you will respect yourself and that is a guarantee when you live your joy.

In our willingness to apologize, forgive and let go of attachments to offenses, we demonstrate our courage, strength and self-content or happiness. This is the essence of spirituality.

We all have the capacity to contribute to the quality of our own lives and those with whom we live, work and play. When we behave in ways that contribute to a positive environment, everyone benefits. All these behaviors are indicators of giving our best in our spiritual presence we offer to the other.

What if we all remained mindful of our inborn spirituality? What difference would it make in the world?

That is a good description of conditional love. If our partner "fails" in meeting our expectations or demands, we end the relationship or exchange it for another. But the other will fail as well if we ourselves fail to understand that no one is in this world to complete you. It is you who is complete and in that completion join another to agree to life together, "warts and all." We understand that in our humanness, we are each imperfect, even as in our authenticness as a spiritual being, we are each perfect.

Sound like a contradiction? It is living as an authentic human, loving authentically, with unconditional acceptance of what is. Authentic love is true love and it does not fail. This is the only way a relationship can withstand the test of time.

There is so much at play here. I doubt that those giving are motivated by anything more than love and concern for their fellow man. But that really does not preclude a need to be needed and there is nothing wrong with that, per se. Many people cherish the notion of being needed and work diligently to fulfill that need. If both giver and receiver are benefitted, I see that as a win/win.

Wanting and even needing to be needed is not the same as acting in order to receive recognition. The sense of satisfaction is intrinsic; recognition is usually an extrinsic motivator. Extrinsic motivation is giving to get something, not giving to help another or even oneself feel useful and achieving a sense of well being from the giving.

We have gone from a view of disdain and ignorance with mental illness, leading us to treat the mentally impaired as pariahs to identifying it as a "disease." And while this helped us in addressing the problem with a degree of empathy and remedy or treatment, much like a physical disease, it may have inadvertently led to creating another problem. This problem is unfortunately bigger than a perception of disgust or disdain. We may be discounting the notion of personal responsibility.

Being responsible for our own mental health is indeed possible and probable. While we can not always link our personal responsibility with our physical ailment, we may very likely link our mental health with it.

Looking externally for the cause of our anxiety is really a way to divert attention from our own responsibility to cure ourselves. Emotional Intelligence can be developed within and that means we can have the tools to improve our mental/emotional health for the benefit of ourselves and those in our world.

Once you have done your "homework," (& might I suggest writing your goals and preparatory notes), a conversation with your boss is directed and organized. Just as you are professional and persistent, you are better able to sound prepared, with ready responses to questions that arise.

Part of the preparation for these conversations is in the self-talk that precedes the meeting with the boss. We can't convince another before we have already convinced ourselves of our worth. Know your value, come armed with your quantifiable accomplishments to date and make your case with confidence.

If you accept an offer and then are subsequently dissatisfied as you feel under-compensated, this will affect your attitude on the job. All of us want and deserve to be compensated appropriately, meaning in accordance to how effectively we meet the goals of the position or how well we have performed during the course of time if we are being reviewed.

What is essential for us to understand is the specific marketplace, how we meet and/or exceed the expectations of the position and where this job fits in the grand scheme of our career. If it is a stepping stone, that has one implication on how we position ourselves. If this is the job of our dreams, it takes on another perspective. In both, however, it behooves us to be prepared, patient, persistent and professional.

I have always felt in the middle somehow. Perhaps it's because I was born under the Libra Sun, referred to as "balance." Or it may be because I am just one of those people who often can see merit in both ends of the spectrum when it comes to opinions.

I know this: Opinions are not fact. When we are inflexible, unable to even hear another side of an argument, I wonder how ego is in the way.

Why, for example, do we get offended when presented with a scenario in which we feel opposed?

The Buddha spoke about the "middle way." The inference is that once ego enters, imbalance is created, manifesting in judgment. This discomfort must be adjusted through what is known as karma. It allows us another opportunity to accept what we created and observe deeply to uncover its cause. We get to deal with what the true motivation is for our upset so we can correct it there.

"Our minds are divided into different sections and the Gita speaks about a consciousness which arises entirely above all duality and diversity. That is the Middle Way."

What is unresolved within ourselves will continue to manifest in ways such as our being offended. We need to ask ourselves why and listen to the answers that come up when we sit quietly with the questions. It's all ego that judges and therefore generates offense. If we can let that go, let go of the need to judge, be offended and suffer the consequent pain of all that, how would your life be changed?

"To thine own self be true," as stated in Shakespeare's Hamlet. "And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

Such adages infer that authenticity is essential to not only being happy and living the truth of who we are, but that it is also essential in our relationships with others. We all recognize the importance of relationship. It's pretty much everything, since we do not live alone but interact with a variety from family to friends to work associates.

When we live from the place of truth, we do not hide behind falsehoods and consequent feelings of unworthiness but are more apt to embrace self love. Loving ourselves automatically leaves the door open to loving others in the same way. We can not give to another what we do not possess for ourselves.

We might also question our collective time here. Why are any/all of us here? What is the purpose of our being here, on earth? What does it signify, in terms of humanity's collective purpose?

What if forgiveness is both our individual and collective purpose? Letting go (of our judgments and attachments to outcomes) is simple but it is not easy. But what if that's it? I adore the simplicity of such an idea. It does seem that forgiveness tends to be one of our biggest challenges. Letting go of judgements whether on the individual level or as a collective is not without real work. But that may be the precise reason to consider that forgiveness is indeed our purpose here.

The reason for my questions is that it had been determined that he had experienced a massive heart attack. When I hear that, I think of the genetic component, sure, but also of the metaphor of the heart. She references the heart to represent the center of love and security--to squeeze all the joy out of the heart in favor (or need) of money or position. It's about feeling scared and not enough. He had just found what he may have believed was the "love of his life" and here he had to make a living instead of enjoying this love. He had said to me a few weeks ago, as he was doing work at my house that was not particularly enjoyable to him: Right now, I would rather be sitting at the lake with my girlfriend." I felt the instant sadness for someone who wished himself elsewhere but felt the strain and stress of the need for money. Lousie Hay says "hardening of the heart. Belief in strain and stress.

Assessments that get at our motivations and provide descriptions of the kind of environment that is suited to our needs often stir deeper meaning of life conversations. Very often, individuals seek to go further and uncover secretly held beliefs and feelings, fears and desires. This more in-depth introspection gets one closer to purpose.

When we speak of knowing ourselves in our form identity, it is more about our ego. Truly knowing ourselves requires that we seek beyond the ego. Eckhart Tolle says it best: "Knowing yourself is being yourself and being yourself is ceasing to identify with content."

Whether in questions of our career decisions or in living our personal lives, we are either governed by our past or creating our futures. In the first scenario, experience is the cause of our sadness or feelings of rejection and failure. In the second, we are making out of our experiences whatever suits our purpose.

We need to think about this. It offers us the light for getting our of our cycle of anxiety, disappointment and failure. We are setting ourselves up. It is not a bad premise, because it opens up positive possibility. It offers control as we are responsible for our experience rather than victims of it.

In coming across a quote from poet Robert Frost, I remembered my Mom and it so resonated with what she taught me. I learned and believed as my mom did, that education has little to do with acquiring knowledge for the purpose of getting somewhere with a career. There are many individuals who have letters after their names and possess the highest academic honors but demonstrate behaviors that are inconsistent with what an "educated individual" truly is.

Robert Frost says "Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence." Why that makes so much sense is because "being educated" ought to mean that you accept the fact that individuals have unique thoughts and opinions. That fact ought not mean enough to you that you become angry and upset enough to lose your temper. Equally unnecessary is the idea that you feel inferior to one who does have those letters after their name.

We are at a moment in our culture to consider the wisdom of these words. We hope that you will be open to this education.

Empathy is at the very heart of understanding so that we can hear and feel the others' pain. Having that kind of sensitivity to another's experience leads to seeing what needs to change. It enables us to identify what we need to personally change in and for ourselves, and more importantly what can be changed on a larger scale to vanquish this abhorrent manifestation of a belief in separation.

For those who are A Course in Miracles students, this belief in separation is at the heart of our egos, a fictional state originating with the thought that we could actually separate from our Creator. We can't and we didn't. Acknowledge that and we are literally One in Heaven!

Myss is someone who "reads a person's internal physiological condition intuitively," identifying blocked energies that originate in our thoughts and actions, even our words. That's because we create our realities based on how we think, what we say and do. Energies become blocked with our unwillingness or inability to embrace the work that we came here to do. We had a "sacred contract" that even includes those with whom we travel. Our relationships assist We are in one another's lives to assist each other in growing spiritually.

There are folks who study this subject. It's an important subject for every living being. Take a listen to some of the aspects that contribute to happiness. Awareness is the first step and then remaining mindful of what it takes to ensure a happier life and avoid pitfalls takes us a step closer to that goal.

It is somewhat surprising to hear about the difference between what most of us think will make us happy and what actually does. Our minds (thoughts) are fallible but they seem to have our attention more than what the experts prove leads to a happier life.

Research results give us great hope, as they clearly provide us with precise ingredients. We have choice and once we know and come to embrace what we learn, we easily implement the appropriate changes in our daily lives. No one can stand in our way of achieving happiness and that is very good to know!

Some folks just "landed" on a position or in a company for reasons having nothing to do with intention. I hear things like, "I came here for a year and find myself in the same place in year 10." They wonder, sound like they may have missed out on something, like they ought to have been more deliberate in decisions about their work lives.

But I guess some of the quandary can be answered by considering whether one has a job or career. Very simply, a job is what one does to receive a paycheck and a career is more of a planned effort to achieve in a particular field.

We need to know what we are intending for ourselves and have an open mind. To want only to perform a function to receive a paycheck is fine. But if you go into work each day with a heavy heart and a longing to address a passion or do work that is truly meaningful, know that you can do that. "Don't die with your music still in you," as was said by Wayne Dyer. All things are possible, even having a calling, which has only to do with that passion work. It's what you do willingly and happily, where you are "in the zone" and not clock watching. It is usually knowing your signature strengths and putting those to good use.

So what do you have now and what do you want for yourself? Know that you can achieve whatever is within your desire and in fact, are fortified by what you are good at, what is important to you. GIve that to the world!

What if we shifted our perception to see acts of injustice as calls for help from those who act out of fear? Would this enable us to re-frame our thoughts about the offender? This is another version of hurt people hurting people, isn't it?

Let us be clear. This does not condone bad behavior, it simply asks us to consider another way. It suggests that if we keep our hearts open, we allow compassion to be our guide rather than judgment and vengeance. After all, what else could it be when one human hurts another human? If we were all acting from a position of love, there could be no perpetrating crimes of any nature against one another. We are rightly sisters and brothers and I know that somewhere inside, we know this to be true.

Criminals, those who commit egregious crimes, especially that result in the murder of a fellow human being, cry out for us to see their pain. They are just as much our brother as is the victim of his crime. They seek our compassion, not our judgment. And while I understand that we must hold them accountable for their actions, we also need to help them.

These are challenging times. Just as things looked a bit more hopeful during a global health crisis that brought us to our knees, a black man was murdered by a white police officer, while three others stood by. How can anyone not see that as wildly unacceptable and outrageous? Yes, we desperately need to address this, but is that achieved with violence? I think that 's at minimum a distraction to the cause and how can that make sense? Worse, how can one justify violence in the protestation of violence?

I ask our audience to consider coming from love to create the circumstances for love (not fear/hate) to be our guiding principle for change.

A space has been opened for us. It is a forced space, one that we didn't even know we needed, but it turns out, we did. We weren't paying attention to all that is good because there were too many distractions that made much more noise.

We have been humbled in a way that surely has most if not all of our attention. To stop and smell the roses doesn't even begin to cover all of what we are being asked to do. The stopping is the important piece and thankfully, we had to do at least that much. Whatever we were uniquely up to in that moment the world took a rather long pause, hopefully, something of consequence occurred to all. Hopefully, we are in touch with our own personal responsibility in the global circumstance.

This is not to cast blame on my fellow humans. It is to sit in the space of responsible behavior that originates with poor thinking. It is to suggest that we can do better with that. We can avoid having to be tapped on the shoulder once again to remind us of our humility and compassion and oneness.

Hear Lori's story on how she finds a level of happiness and satisfaction in each career move. When she senses the need to move on, she courageously pursues a way to utilize her strengths, desires and experience in pursuit of something that fulfills her.

When it came to his first big involuntary job loss, he experienced that familiar sense of losing what he'd known. He was thrown out of his "comfort zone" and forced to sink or swim. He chose to gather what he knew about himself (after many self and professional assessments) and put it to work for him.

It's a great success story, one you will want to hear.

Is there something we could learn, if we aren't blessed with a natural optimistic disposition? But learning about happiness can not be enough; we need to practice the elements proven to contribute to our well being.

So what can we do to help? For one, we must manage our emotions. Realizing that our feelings dictate our thoughts that result in our behavior, we need to adopt a practice of emotional self-control. Respect the feeling, as it is there to inform you of what you need to know about yourself. It is also to let you know that there is fear propelling the negative emotion but it is not real- at least not now. It is likely from a past issue that caused you to build a defense. It is False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR)

Often, if we are able to shift our focus from our own anxiety to helping others in whatever way we can, we modify and mitigate severe emotional reaction. That shift helps us manage our emotion and allows us a thoughtful response.

Just the very expression, "How can I help" shifts you from self to other concerns and the result is palpable. It is similar to counting to ten or taking a couple diaphragmatically deep breaths. Try it, it works and we have all to benefit from your efforts.

I am certain that you are aware of that self. The one that is attached to worldly identification of who you are. How you are identified. But that's not the kind of self-awareness that really matters. The one that matters greatly is that which answers the question, how in touch with your feelings are you? Do you know how you get triggered emotionally and what your "auto-response" is to that trigger? Can you identify your triggers and manage yourself in the midst of being triggered? Do you understand that unless you acknowledge your emotions and their source, you are unable to manage your own emotion and likely not able to understand anyone else's?

Finally, do you understand how critically important this all is?

We either name something a "problem" or we don't. But the problem is really not the problem; it's our perceptions or attitudes about the 'problem' that are running the show. There is where the pain is!

So where does emotional honesty enter in? Well, depending on how willing we are to be honest with others and especially with ourselves, we can name it, claim it as something we created and therefore can change!

And what do we get out of the change? The value is in the quality of relationships we maintain with others and ourselves. Being honest and real with ourselves and those in our lives brings us greater intimacy and that feels great!

You can simply notice, observe what you do "when left to your own," for the same cues that you may discover with an official assessment.

What is this simple process? It could be an "ah-ha" moment or you could have easily come to the conclusion on your own.

So why do we so often choose negative thoughts? If all we need do is make a choice to think positively, why is it that we have any occasion when we choose otherwise? Is it possible that we feel someone else or something else is controlling our choices?

Awareness is the first step. If you are ready to know, is it possible that you are also ready to change the way you think?

Letting go of resentment and fear allows our hearts to open, while holding onto it is sure to close our hearts. We are better to never allow anything to close our hearts.

For example, right now there are energies present that help us understand what is happening from a global perspective in addition to how it is affecting us personally.

Many young people realize that "there is work to be done" and demonstrate a willingness to access available resources, including astrological input.

If you achieve success at your work, it may not necessarily mean that you are happy. But if you are happy with your work, it generally means that you are also successful. This is because personal happiness has a spillover quality that work success does not.

If your work attitude is "I have to" rather than I "want to" (go into work), then you understand the difference.

Most of us understand that our personal lives are just as important, if not more than our work lives. In David Brooks' book, The Second Mountain, he offers the distinction in terms of time. We are indeed in a particular mode in the earlier years of our career. We are intent on achievement at the work place. It's about acquisition and title and image. When we reach a certain level of maturity, it becomes more about giving rather than getting.

This theory makes me wonder about how we live and when we die. Do we all get the opportunity to climb a "second mountain" during our time here? What about those who jump right onto their second mountain by abandoning their first? Who are they and what did they understand that perhaps others did not? Do they live happier lives then most of us who take their time or perhaps never make it to that second mountain?

So how did Geri, perhaps unwittingly, use her own emotional intelligence to inform her ability to become a sought after executive coach? And how is it that the Emotional Intelligence model is precisely the tool she uses today to help good leaders become better?

Geri makes a convincing case for lifelong learning and maintenance of a hard work ethic. She expresses her thoughts on competitiveness, curiosity and remaining open to what you don't know. She also uses her own story to show us how standing up for yourself is critical in being recognized.

Beginning with Self-Awareness, we continue in being able to express our feelings in a positive way. We learn and exercise our empathy, using our understanding of our colleagues’ emotions, considering those feelings as we make decisions. We manage and control our own emotions as warranted in “keeping the peace” and we make an authentic attempt at managing the emotions of others.

First, words like “guarantee” and “always” are dangerous because they are hardly ever true. Nothing is ever that simple or black and white because there are many variables that come into play to create the ideal combination to lead one to bliss. For us to be able to tick off all our criteria for true happiness and financial success, lots of aspects need to come together.

So let’s talk about how we can increase our chances. What are the considerations that we need to add to our consideration of passionate work?

Whatever the unique situation, we must know that there are ample resources to assist us and it won’t cost a dime. Those resources have been long established to allow for retraining to target a particular type of work or simply to instruct on resume writing and interview preparation.

Often we are unaware of the help that is out there and need to be told by someone in the career services field or one who happened to make the discovery.

While it is perfectly normal to desire to improve our standing in the work world, increase our income and move up the so-called ladder, there are some notable cautions.

Prior to selecting a career path, were you consciously aware of what your interests were? How about your skills or natural talent? Did you consider your strengths, such as what subject matter in which you excelled during your education? Have you thought about what others have told you your ‘re good at?

Is your personality more extroverted or introverted? Do you enjoy working more with tasks or are you better engaging with others all day long? When you do the opposite, you will tire more easily, so that will be a good clue.

Are you reaching for a leadership role in your field or not so much?

What do you value and how might you prioritize those aspects of a job or career as they compare to that list?

In lieu of sitting down with a de-brief on an assessment, we can prepare ourselves to avoid unnecessary time and money.

If your gut response to that question is that it’s a stupid question (we all know if we are involved in work that is meaningful!), then you are likely unaware that there are those who are truly not sure. Is not all work meaningful….to someone or at minimum the corporation?

Are there corporations that are in business to simply “make money?” Could that not be a sole mission? Well, not exactly because all business serves something or someone and that is attached to a benefit to someone or something….namely a mission. So are you engaged to that mission and is the leadership demonstrating their engagement and able to convey such enthusiasm to its employees?

Not only does each individual need to have some attachment to the mission of the organization but the culture needs to be supportive of those goals and the staff that is depended upon to achieve them. Employee engagement is really a thing and can truly influence our happiness on the job.

If the two are a near-perfect match (not sure there is ever “perfection” in a match), then maybe, just maybe there is a possible long term association. I have never believed that individuals jump from one job to another for money alone. It has to be more than that!

The internet has brought us so many opportunities that were not easily available prior to –and indeed, it is clear that we are taking advantage of it. Still, I really like the idea of longevity for what it provides us. The workplace is a “second home” for most of us. It seems the “musical chairs” world of leaping from one job to another loses a component of lifelong attachments and second family. Perhaps that reinforces the need for us as the individual to do the proper due diligence prior to accepting a position.

I wonder if that would modify this idea of longevity any?

Some may feel it is a bit of a stretch, but consider that if the objective is to “get it right,” then a proactive approach makes sense. It begins with identifying what you want/need in a likely match, vetting in accordance with that criteria.

Going forward to continue to refine and validate until one lands at the place of comfort also makes a great deal of practical sense.

Certainly, we want to love what we do and decide as soon as possible what environment and type of work is most suited to our unique selves. But having that and performing in that space is not the sole reason we can expect to be happy and satisfied.

There is our relationship to the other, as I say in the book (It IS All About You), we are not here alone but with others and that is profoundly meaningful. Those relationships we share and how we are being in those relationships, at home, work and out in the public arena, contribute greatly to our happiness, optimism and peace.

Her story is not unlike most of us. Little to no guidance in our final years of high school. Left largely on our own to “figure it out,” Dawn conducted a few informational sessions with other professionals, sought contacts from her mother’s professional contacts and figured out a viable path.

Listen to her story, through my re-telling as I am sorry to say that our interview failed to record.

How did Dawn uncover and fine-tune her “passions?” Where is she today and is she experiencing a level of job satisfaction?

We can answer the first question by looking at our contributions. Who benefits from our work, what are our outcomes and what difference do they make?

The second question is much bigger and carries weight in this entire life/work purpose topic. No matter what you DO, how are you BEING in the doing of that performance, action? Do you bring light or not so much? Are you spreading kindness to all you come in contact with or are you apathetic, or worse–not so positive?

The best thing we can get is that if we are at peace in our doing, no matter the work, we are likely working with a sense of purpose and making a contribution. And that sense of peace is likely the backdrop for you offering a smile, a helping hand or an understanding ear to a co-worker. That is being purposeful and definitely contributing to a positive work culture, no matter how seemingly small.

Not really.

If anything, what is far improved is access to information about career options. That means that it ought to be an easier process of discovery. Between that and the tendency to be able to shadow and intern, discovering our “best fit” career path should be easy.

We must take advantage of all the resources, however. And we still need to take an accounting of our unique needs, desires, values and skill set.

This all fully correlates with what a prospective employer wants to know during an interview: Can you do this job? Will you (speaks to your motivations, interests and needs) do this job and How well do you fit in -with the team, culture. Do your values align with the organizations’s values?

The book is an outcome of the countless conversations I had over the years helping those who experienced an involuntary job loss.

The consideration of what one might do for work that is a good fit for their unique needs and desires quite naturally leads to a discussion on passion and meaning and a life that has a purpose. We each have a reason for being incarnated. It is our job to discover our life’s purpose. We will need to be introspective. Perhaps we will require assistance and there is that availability.

Questions that are addressed in the little book are those that represent the discussions and concerns that I believe most of us have about our lives.

Developing our Emotional Intelligence also allows us to be sensitive to others’ emotions. Just like understanding our own motivations and ultimately embracing those, being aware of our emotions allows us to be more receptive to others’ emotions and thereby improve our relationships.

It’s a quid pro quo in this sense: You gain a favor and your contact is complimented. They indeed have something they can offer of use to another and in that way, they are special and important.

You want to be specific with your questions. What exactly do you want and need to know from this individual? How can they help you?

Be sure to identify how much time you might expect the meeting to take. Offer to buy them coffee or if it’s at their office, you might bring them something.

Perhaps you can do something for them in return. Be sure to thank them, in email or even better, a handwritten note.

There are two matters up for review here. Do high school guidance counselors assume that all 16-17 years olds have no clue what course to follow, let alone be able to identify any specific career aspiration? Should they add that one question to their session with their students to determine the most appropriate institution in which to pursue their goal? We know that we needn’t choose our majors immediately, but would it not make sense to get started as soon as possible if we have that self-awareness?

The other thing is, might the so-called “counseling element” operate easier with left-brain fields, simply because they feel more challenged by the world of the arts?

What is it with our system and how can we help improve it for future students who find themselves really needing help? Most students who lack knowledge about what they want to do are assisted by an assessment process but those who already have that self-understanding may be falling through the cracks, having to discover on their own how to navigate their career pursuits.

Remember, the interviewer needs to be convinced that you possess the proper background (ability) to do the job and that you have the commensurate level of interest (motivation) to perform well in the position because of your interests in this precise type of work.

The interviewer will determine that you are a fit to the culture by the manner in which you respond to the questions they ask along with those that you choose to ask of them.

Preparing through practicing your answers to their questions and designing your questions based on what you need to know demonstrates that you are serious about their unique role in their company. It goes a long way to placing you on the list of serious contenders.

The first step will involve handling what I will call our grieving about the loss. We are losing friendships. The people with whom we have worked, have met with each work day, become our support network. We will miss them. We may miss other things about where we were and what we did but we will definitely miss our associations and we understand that they are a loss that we grieve.

Incidentally, if we are embarking on a brand new path, we will grieve the loss of “our routines.”  We are experiencing an end to one life and embarking on a new routine.

The next step will require us to take a clear and deep look into our preferences, needs and motivations. An honest accounting of those introspections are basic; a professional validated and reliable assessment is a possibility.

The third step will ask us to do some real work in terms of putting our introspection into practical terms. Who are those companies for whom we can solve problems? In what precise capacity are we ideally suited to do so? Will we “fit in” with the culture of this organization?

Now we are prepared to meet with people. We identify who makes sense. Who can be most helpful here, to validate my “marketing plan”? Who might assist in clarifying, validating and modifying my basic thoughts on this plan? Who might each of these contacts know that may also be helpful in a new way? How and when may I meet with them and what are my precise questions for them? Preparation is essential.

The revisions will be ongoing. Each contact adds another dimension of clarification. Those results will send us to our target companies for investigation. Who are they, what can we do for them, which openings might they currently have that might be interesting? What can we discover about their culture and how we match up to fit in?

When we land closer to the “decision maker” in an interview with one of our target companies, what questions do we have that demonstrate our unique interest in them specifically and how might we prepare to respond to their anticipated questions? The target is for a mutually benefical association–how do we leave them with that thought?

These are the key six. There are also “mini-questions” and matters to consider when managing our career moves. Each step in the process brings us closer to ultimate happiness and success in our work life.

We see more, hear more and consequently know more about what is going on in our environment and the world at large. Perhaps we are living with the unintended consequences of our technologically progressed society.

How we join in on the noise of negativism or hold steadfast to optimism and positivity makes all the difference in what we experience. During our recent democratic debates with too many candidates, we heard a voice dare speak of love, projecting that it will win over its opposite, fear-in all its negative manifestations. Soon after, I heard many dismiss this candidate, Marianne Williamson. But did she not make sense? Did she not have a good point?

We are definitely responsible for what we see. Our negativity is infectious but so are collective thoughts of love and peace. It’s not a pipe dream or some fairy notion but rather proof of hope and resolution –of our collective salvation. We are too willing to give in to complaints and thoughts of gloom and doom. But we have a choice–we will always have that choice. What will you choose?

It would be wrong not to see some connection between who we are and how that manifests in our work lives. Who we are, our being-ness ought to be reflected in what we do for a living. Our BEING informs our doing and having. Our BEING begins the process of self-discovery. It is unlike doing that is often a consequence of necessity.

Each of us deserves to be engaged with our work in a way that allows for the greatest sense of fulfillment and purpose. We could gain this awareness through meditation or simply getting quiet long enough to listen to the awareness that wants to communicate with us. It won’t be the chatter of our thinking mind, but rather what will come from a deeper place (we all have this access, even if we have never experienced it).

There is so much to be gained in our embracing this awareness. Consider your happiness and success with your work. Give it a try, believe in it. Believe in yourself!

You already know the companies where you’d love to work, the jobs that you would be WILLING and ABLE to do, so why not target those and write a deliberate plan to achieve landing one of those? Why not develop a “marketing plan” that organizes your thoughts about which organizations and which roles you fit and identify how you can solve their problem? Once it is all written down, perhaps you might sit with a networking contact and share your plan, gain their knowledgable feedback on the viability of your plan from the company perspective, to the specific job.

Getting a job is a full-time job and sometimes we are still working while we are seeking…either to improve ourselves or simply move out of doing something we no longer wish to do. So, it will take even more deliberate effort to find time to do a good job of networking to land the right role. In the end, you will see that the time spent was worth it. YOU are worth it!

The challenge in focusing on doing is almost to say that we are playing a role. The role dictates what we do for an effect in the world, either to make ourselves feel better or to make others feel better about us. In other words, we are doing for an effect, without respect to ourselves, our being, and that could only result in dissatisfaction. There is no happiness in doing to get. We are not loving ourselves in this strategy, we are seeking an effect based on ego, not higher purpose. And in the end, what we are seeking, is our purpose, not a role we play.

Playing roles is of the mind and therefore identifies with the ego. Being derives from purpose, our internal guide or higher self.

All that said, we are unified in our purpose here…to do what is ours to do–and that is based on our beingness, each separate and unique and yet connected in the collective consciousness.

I heard a great line recently that called to mind the idea that each of us has a responsibility to leave the world a better place than we found it. I liked that. It’s certainly a purpose we all share. Or perhaps should.

Here are the essentials:

First, one needs to understand himself or herself enough to have a clear idea of their unique needs and how they fit with a prospect.

Second, this self-awareness needs to inform what they want, so the clarity is crucial. If one was to write a needs list, it ought to be ordered in prioritized fashion, listed from flexible to deal-breaker status. In other words, what we would ideally like in a match for ourselves and what we won’t live without. We know we can ask for the moon and want that for ourselves, but the reality is we are fortunate if we get most of what we “ask for.”

Third, we remain committed to what works for our uniqueness, what we are attracted to, as that has staying power.  If it helps, knowing what does not and will not work for us can be used as a guidepost as well.

Fourth, we continually check in with ourselves on our “list” to determine whether or not our original intentions are legitimate or simply frivolous, such as being motivated by money or good looks. Long term satisfaction is dependant on this authenticity.

It’s an important exercise, assuming that the goal is longevity and that our goal is to get it right the first time. It’s our “due diligence” and is sure to make a difference in the outcome.

Happy search to all!

What was the detour all about? Why did she find herself in a spot that she felt was ill-suited to her nature? And how did she “find her way” in the end?

Not unlike many young people, Eliza was not quite in touch with her passion and so by default, did what was expected of her, reluctant as she was to do that. She pursued a college degree-twice. In her words, the effect it had on her at the time was to feel “detached.” She became “defiant,” in retaliation but still had no real answers to provide her well-intentioned parents. In her words, she “did not want to give up on their dream” but knew that she could not let herself down either. After some wasted time and money, she discovered what has turned out to be her passion. This is a passion that she never recognized until (my deduction) her heart led her there.

Today, Eliza is happy and successful, looking forward to a lifelong career that will only get better.

How many relate to why the pursuit of formal higher education is not for everyone? Learning is for everyone, but when it is in the field of your dreams, it facilitates not only the acquisition of information but the deliberate pursuit of it, with enthusiam and no reluctance whatsoever.

His motivating force was twofold, as illuminated by his assessment results: One who needs to “see the fruits of his labor” as quickly as possible and one who prefers an environment in which he is not continually socially demanded upon. Much of his time as an educator proved to be the antithesis of his “nature”: the world of a teacher is an experience of delayed gratification and a demand of “onstage performance” with students, administration and parents.

John highlights the fact that although it was a challenge, having not been the path he might have chosen with the benefit of guidance, one can find a way where things work out. Had he wanted to live a life using his natural innate abilities and interests, one which reflected his greater authenticity, he might have chosen a field in which he could experienced immediate gratification for his work output and one in which he could work largely on his own (the introvert versus extravert style).

John’s assessment results delivered two options, both of which he intrinsically understood were viable even back when he was deciding his path. One was of a skilled steelworker and the other highlighted the field of dentistry. Both career options present more solo work environments and offer immediate gratification of results.

There are negative consequences of working in a career for which you are ill suited and John experienced a few. Still, he found a few enjoyable and gratifying aspects in order to survive. When he retired at age 52, he did so realizing that he’d not have been anxious to leave his work life had he been engaged in work closer to his heart. Therefore, he fully endorses an assessment process for young people making life changing decisions at such a young age following high school.

 Here is the question: Are we determined by what happens to us in our past or driven by a sense of purpose? Are we limited by circumstance or do we transcend it?

This is not the nature/nurture argument but it is just as important, if not more. How we view our potential rests heavily on which side of the philosophical fence we sit.

If we believe that our past is the cause for the effects we live with, then there is little point to taking a proactive stance. If it’s already determined, then why figure out what our best life path ought to be, in accordance with individual needs, interests and desires. If it’s dictated by where we come from and how lucky or unlucky we decide we are in our life circumstance, then allowing life to simply and inevitably unfold is going to be acceptable.

If, on the other hand, we give no credence to limits ostensibly determined by our past, then we may sense a kind of “clean slate” for ourselves. With this backdrop, we can dream and investigate and just consider the possibilities. The options open up in a way to present and allow us our greatest opportunity for happiness and success!

What keeps us from being in touch with our authentic selves? How is it that we get to a certain age, needing to make important life decisions and we get it wrong because we are unaware of what we need to be happy and successful?

There are three blocks to self-awareness:

Repression: How we hide the truth from ourselves by pushing it down into our unconscious mind.

Rationalization: Explaining or justifying our actions for our personal benefit.

and

Denial: closing the mind off to a reality that we would rather not face; “selective inattention.”

But what we are unaware of is running us and therefore may be at work in us as we are making optimal life choices. This precludes the possibility of our self-acceptance and ultimately self-love. How can we expect others to know and love us if we do not know or love ourselves?

The original work of assessment began early in the 1900s with Carl Jung’s introduction of the four quadrants. There are myriad possibilities, as I am aware and certified in a number of assessment instruments, but I happen to endorse and enjoy working with the Birkman Method.

There is a “side benefit” or natural outcome of allowing yourself take that step back to consider these insights about yourself. You begin to see how others must also have unique needs which they seek to and are entitled to meet. You more easily gain empathy, openness and acceptance of the other.

A second “side benefit” of assessing your career needs is the possibility of gleaning ideas and understanding about yourself on a more personal level. This can assist you in gaining perspective into your attractions and compatibilities and reasons behind your challenges in getting along with certain personalities.

In the end, you have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain from giving yourself this gift of introspection. Evidenced by my clients who have benefitted far beyond the acknowledgment of a most suited career path, you might consider this a great gift to yourself!

I hope to help and what I understand about the evolution and purpose of lifelong learning—and I continue of course, down the path of learning, as we all do–is to share with those who may benefit from the lessons that you have taken time to learn… in the hopes, of course, to save them some time in confronting the same or similar setbacks that you have. For me, it is the subject of the “most suited career path” but from the 20+ years of working with people, I recognize it spills over into our personal lives. We all want to know that our lives matter, we matter and that we are living under a purpose designed uniquely for us. And to be perfectly frank, I took an unscientific poll asking folks, in particular younger folks, what it is they need, what they listen to (podcasts), what they find of interest and they almost always say “self-help.” Perhaps because today our lives are so often "on the move," leaving little time to sit down with a good book, we find that listening to podcasts and books on tape makes practical sense. And when I inquire further, they are seeking advice -again, of the practical kind that will help them in their day-to-day lives.

So in my corner of the world, what we do for a living is an area where most of us… especially young people need validation and encouragement on how to best choose a path that suits us and allows us to be happy and successful. And they–the more youthful, again–especially DO NOT want to work 60-80 hours a week to become physically spent and have little to no leisure time remaining. They look at their parents and see how they do not want “that!” So they are clearly more OPEN to advice on how to get their careers RIGHT FOR THEM. Unlike generations before them, they do not want to work FOR MONEY but FOR JOY and JOB SATISFACTION and that is a huge takeaway!

The other motivator for me is what became painfully clear working with my clients: their questions–why did I not have this information sooner, why did I “waste” time here, and especially how is it I cannot believe in myself adequately, etc. It is that self-blame and disappointment that leads us to the self-esteem issue. That is a hot button for me–my belief is that each of us deserves to be happy and successful because we are worthy of it and deserve to be, do and have what we want for ourselves.

So first, there is a difference between saying to oneself, I am a failure rather than I have failed here. One is an indictment on self-esteem as words do matter (especially those we tell ourselves) so that calling oneself names injures your self-esteem and the other simply recognizes that you have behaved in a manner inconsistent with your potential… this can often make an enormous difference! Think of it as the NOUN format that assigns a “permanent” label versus the VERB indicative of temporary behavior and action… the latter can be un-done and re-done and the former just reinforces a negative image of oneself that becomes onerous and almost impossible to overcome.

We begin by distilling the notion of I can’t and rather restate the challenge as I have not (yet). It may even be appropriate sometimes to state how I will not, but certainly, the idea behind both is that I can change if I choose. So beginning there is a very good place to start.

Then comes the awareness that is inevitable in the results of validated assessment instruments that allow one to uncover drivers and motivators behind the personality. And another “behind the scenes” notion on this comes from one of my favorite authors, Gary Zukav, who wrote The Seat of the Soul. In this book, he makes a case for the personality becoming one with the soul. Okay, so here we risk getting esoteric on the subject, but what he says in plain...]]>I augmented my intro show to get more specific.

I hope to help and what I understand about the evolution and purpose of lifelong learning—and I continue of course, down the path of learning, as we all do–is to share with those who may benefit from the lessons that you have taken time to learn… in the hopes, of course, to save them some time in confronting the same or similar setbacks that you have. For me, it is the subject of the “most suited career path” but from the 20+ years of working with people, I recognize it spills over into our personal lives. We all want to know that our lives matter, we matter and that we are living under a purpose designed uniquely for us. And to be perfectly frank, I took an unscientific poll asking folks, in particular younger folks, what it is they need, what they listen to (podcasts), what they find of interest and they almost always say “self-help.” Perhaps because today our lives are so often "on the move," leaving little time to sit down with a good book, we find that listening to podcasts and books on tape makes practical sense. And when I inquire further, they are seeking advice -again, of the practical kind that will help them in their day-to-day lives.

So in my corner of the world, what we do for a living is an area where most of us… especially young people need validation and encouragement on how to best choose a path that suits us and allows us to be happy and successful. And they–the more youthful, again–especially DO NOT want to work 60-80 hours a week to become physically spent and have little to no leisure time remaining. They look at their parents and see how they do not want “that!” So they are clearly more OPEN to advice on how to get their careers RIGHT FOR THEM. Unlike generations before them, they do not want to work FOR MONEY but FOR JOY and JOB SATISFACTION and that is a huge takeaway!

The other motivator for me is what became painfully clear working with my clients: their questions–why did I not have this information sooner, why did I “waste” time here, and especially how is it I cannot believe in myself adequately, etc. It is that self-blame and disappointment that leads us to the self-esteem issue. That is a hot button for me–my belief is that each of us deserves to be happy and successful because we are worthy of it and deserve to be, do and have what we want for ourselves.

So first, there is a difference between saying to oneself, I am a failure rather than I have failed here. One is an indictment on self-esteem as words do matter (especially those we tell ourselves) so that calling oneself names injures your self-esteem and the other simply recognizes that you have behaved in a manner inconsistent with your potential… this can often make an enormous difference! Think of it as the NOUN format that assigns a “permanent” label versus the VERB indicative of temporary behavior and action… the latter can be un-done and re-done and the former just reinforces a negative image of oneself that becomes onerous and almost impossible to overcome.

We begin by distilling the notion of I can’t and rather restate the challenge as I have not (yet). It may even be appropriate sometimes to state how I will not, but certainly, the idea behind both is that I can change if I choose. So beginning there is a very good place to start.

Then comes the awareness that is inevitable in the results of validated assessment instruments that allow one to uncover drivers and motivators behind the personality. And another “behind the scenes” notion on this comes from one of my favorite authors, Gary Zukav, who wrote The Seat of the Soul. In this book, he makes a case for the personality becoming one with the soul. Okay, so here we risk getting esoteric on the subject, but what he says in plain language is this: 

We come here, each of us, in an evolutionary journey of the Soul. Our jobs play a role in how the personality we are here with “this time” aligns with what the soul, the deepest part of ourselves, wants. When that happens, we choose the “right people” in our lives, the “right careers,” etc., to help us achieve what we came here to do. Now if that is way out there for you personally, it’s okay. We still have this idea that each of us has a purpose, and it is for us to identify what that is so we can live our best life. 

It is my sincere hope that I address how it is we can better ensure that we are on the right career path in order to achieve our own version of happiness and success. We have talked about being open to this idea that there is something INTENDED for you, a specific purpose and then gaining an awareness of what that is through some introspective work, perhaps with the assistance of a professional assessment tool. Now, let me get clear on what that is. Some listeners may know exactly what those are, may have even taken one or two, others may not have a clue what I am referring to so allow me to explain.

There are questionnaires specifically designed to ask questions and get individual responses on several items, all of which draw a picture of a person’s needs …some of you have heard of “personality tests (although I dislike that label). Most all the professional assessment instruments have been put through the rigors of the American Psychological Association and deemed validated and reliable. This means that they meet the guidelines for measuring what they say they are measuring and that the results will prove consistent over time. Once a report is generated that reflects the totality of candid responses, a trained professional de-briefs the individual, inviting their validation and engaging them in a discussion of practical use of what they glean.

So that is it. It is not an enormous deal, except to say that it CAN represent a huge influence on the individual’s future, particularly considering the variation uncovered between what they were doing and what they COULD do based on what the reports show along with their personal validation. It helps clarify and identify what may represent the greatest opportunity to do what one loves.

And here is the greatest “side benefit” of this process. During countless de-brief sessions, folks not only come away having gained additional insights about themselves and their unique needs. There is self-acceptance if not all the way to self-love outcomes. And interestingly, one easily connects the idea of their personal uniqueness and how others too are worthy of the same considerations. Judgment falls away and we wish for all to live lives of authentic truth. If there was a beautiful part of my career in engaging in this type of work, it is this:

It’s like we come to an inevitable place of uniting with the rest of humanity, seeing them for their uniqueness and understanding that each individual deserves to be happy -no matter what–and accepted as we live out our lives and meet our needs in the world.

The purpose of this first podcast show, episode zero, is to introduce who I am and the intended mission for this podcast, Love In Your Life.

It begins by identifying with the audience, most or all of whom work for a living. By telling my story, I relate how I evolved to arrive finally at doing work for which I have a passion. Like many, not a direct route at all.

Having spent the last 20+ years assisting professionals in transition after experiencing an involuntary job loss, I realize the strong case for preparing young people to make better decisions early on and avoid costly mistakes of changing jobs, fields, or even making wholesale career moves.

Besides the obvious benefit of gaining the confidence and self-understanding to do what we were intended to do, there is another advantage to this change in focus. When we get to do what we love, we are also more likely to tap into our greater purpose. This I saw as a secondary inspirational benefit to my being part of so many professionals' introspective evolution. These folks have shared something precious in their self-awareness that oddly enough arrived in reflection following their loss. In a kind of “re-awakening,” they wanted and needed to understand how choosing the “right” career path for themselves was akin to self-acceptance and self-love.

What I also see is that as one does this for the self, it enables him to do it for the other. As I authentically accept my uniqueness, I can accept and love others in a new way. It brings light to circumstance and enables one to realize that each individual deserves to tap into the purpose of them being part of this human experience. The vast majority of my clients ultimately came to express the value of this so-called negative job loss experience that brought them to a higher understanding and vision for themselves, one that enriches their own lives and others they influence by their example.