In this episode they talk about their holiday seasons and all the changes in their lives!

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Sarah and Natalie talk through their birth stories with their firstborns!

In this episode of The Lumpy Mother, Sarah talks about how scary the internet can be for your children and the importance of making smart choices for/with them. Natalie makes an announcement and talks through the preparations they are making!

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Sarah talks about raising your kids to be happy vs. raising them to be resilient. Natalie shares a list of 7 things every kid should hear from their parents.

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In this episode of The Lumpy Mother, Natalie talks about keeping goals for herself outside of motherhood, and Sarah spills some unbelievable facts about moms past and present.

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Nick and Natalie talk about driving a minivan, the end of the school year, being plant-parents, and more in this episode of The Lumpy Mother.

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We want to hear from you! If you have any thoughts or questions for Kelsey you can email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com.

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Listen to the episode here: https://lumpymother.captivate.fm

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Listen to the episode here: https://lumpymother.captivate.fm

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Listen to the episode here: https://lumpymother.captivate.fm

Articles mentioned in this episode: https://bit.ly/3u3oNFQ, https://bit.ly/3u5cclr, https://bit.ly/3sB4pf0, https://bit.ly/2QQL63i, https://bit.ly/3m4OaV1.

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast, on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1, and on TikTok @lumpymotherpodcast.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Listen to the episode here: https://lumpymother.captivate.fm

Resources mentioned this week include the following articles:

Let Toys Be Toys: https://bit.ly/315WCth

How Toys Became Gendered: http://bit.ly/2PiF76u

You Are Enough: http://bit.ly/3rccPry

Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Parents: http://bit.ly/3scAklz

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast, on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1, and on TikTok @lumpymotherpodcast.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Resources mentioned this week include an article and podcast about Miriam Elizabeth Rodriguez Martinez.  The article can be found at http://bit.ly/38J5wBq and the podcast is Episode 257 from My Favorite Murder.

Also mentioned is the Instagram @theworkspaceforchildren

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast, on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1, and on TikTok @lumpymotherpodcast.

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Sarah and Natalie talk about sunshine, being sick when you’re a parent, amazing moms from history, and more in this episode of The Lumpy Mother.

Resources mentioned this week include thewellmomco.com.

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast, on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1, and on TikTok @lumpymotherpodcast.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Resources mentioned this week include the Instagram page @coachingwithkelsey.

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast, on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1, and on TikTok @lumpymotherpodcast.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Resources mentioned this week include Instagram pages @evolvedteacher, @firstname.basis, @drbeckyathome, and @biglittlefeelings; plus TikTok account @brian_fretwell and the book “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter.

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast, on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1, and on TikTok @lumpymotherpodcast.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Resources mentioned this week include the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown and Jeff King on TikTok @jkvaluaddr.

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast, on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1, and on TikTok @lumpymotherpodcast.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Resources mentioned this week include the Instagram account @drbeckyathome and the podcast Sleep With Me.

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast and on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Resources mentioned this week include the Instagram account @coachingwithkelsey

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast and on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes’, no’s, and hello’s, or anything else you might want to share!

Transcript:

Natalie: Hi, I'm Natalie Mills!

Sarah: And I'm Sarah Stark!

Natalie: And you are listening to the Lumpy Mother, the podcast where we share the joys and terrors of motherhood.

Sarah: We are two best friends and Moms who love learning and laughing together. I have an 8 month old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter.

Natalie: and I have 4 kids, and 8 year old daughter and 3 songs who are 7, 6, and 18 months.

Sarah: So, if you fiercely love your kids but also fiercely love when they leave for school in the morning...

Natalie: Then you have come to the right space.

Sarah: The way this works is that Natalie and I will have a yes, a no, and a hello for the week. Or, in other words, something good, bad, and random that has to do with our week in parenting.

Natalie: Sarah and I have a feeling that you will relate to our experiences.

Sarah: But if you can't relate, tell us about it! Email us at Lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com! We love to learn and we want to know what you think about the topics we cover. and we just might share it in an episode.

Natalie: Every week we want to talk just for a few minutes about the things we talked about in the previous episode as a little update. Sarah do you want to go first this time?

Sarah: Yes. So last week my no was about power struggles and the main thing was doing my 2 1/2 year old daughter, Evie's, hair because she hates it! and I want her to have bodily autonomy but yeah, she gets so many things in her hair, so I almost force her every time to put her hair up. Anyway, I've been trying to be more relaxed about that this week. Today, Evie's hair was covered in cream cheese, she had a popsicle so she's sticky. It was really bad. We decided that we're going to cut her hair but I still want to wait because of covid and we don't go anywhere unless we absolutely have to so until then I"m just going to have to play with it or maybe only do her hair when other people come over. Letting go is really hard because it looks bad. She looks so dirty and she just had a bath yesterday. I gave her another bath today...I guess she's just going to have to have more baths. She loves baths, maybe that will mix things up.

Natalie: I vote that you just do it in your kitchen with a pair of scissors.

Sarah: Gasp

Natalie: I cut all of our kids hair and Nick's hair.

Sarah: nice, you probably save so much that money that way! I guess I was thinking I wanted her first hair cut to be a picture/video experience. But only one of us can go in with her, so maybe it'd be better with both of us there for the experience.

Natalie: I feel like it's just as special of a memory if Mommy does it.

Sarah: Yeah and we can save a bunch of her locks. Maybe that's what we'll do. So that's where we are with that. and then for my hello last week I talked about how I tried to escape zip ties based on this guy who is an ex-royal marine that I found on instagram. He does all these escape videos and one of them was escaping zip ties. and I tried it unsuccessfully again. The zip ties were just too heavy duty I think. Well anyway I said he's from the U.K...but he's probably, DUTCH in the USA since his handle is @dutchintheUSA. How about you, Natalie, any rewinds?

Natalie: I talked to my Mom and she listened to the episode where I mentioned she was my yes and we laughed about...]]>Natalie and Sarah talk through their big and small New Year’s Resolutions, why mornings are the worst, redefining success when you’re a stay at home parent, and more in this episode of The Lumpy Mother!

Resources mentioned this week include the Instagram account @coachingwithkelsey

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast and on Twitter @lumpymotherpod1.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes’, no’s, and hello’s, or anything else you might want to share!

Transcript:

Natalie: Hi, I'm Natalie Mills!

Sarah: And I'm Sarah Stark!

Natalie: And you are listening to the Lumpy Mother, the podcast where we share the joys and terrors of motherhood.

Sarah: We are two best friends and Moms who love learning and laughing together. I have an 8 month old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter.

Natalie: and I have 4 kids, and 8 year old daughter and 3 songs who are 7, 6, and 18 months.

Sarah: So, if you fiercely love your kids but also fiercely love when they leave for school in the morning...

Natalie: Then you have come to the right space.

Sarah: The way this works is that Natalie and I will have a yes, a no, and a hello for the week. Or, in other words, something good, bad, and random that has to do with our week in parenting.

Natalie: Sarah and I have a feeling that you will relate to our experiences.

Sarah: But if you can't relate, tell us about it! Email us at Lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com! We love to learn and we want to know what you think about the topics we cover. and we just might share it in an episode.

Natalie: Every week we want to talk just for a few minutes about the things we talked about in the previous episode as a little update. Sarah do you want to go first this time?

Sarah: Yes. So last week my no was about power struggles and the main thing was doing my 2 1/2 year old daughter, Evie's, hair because she hates it! and I want her to have bodily autonomy but yeah, she gets so many things in her hair, so I almost force her every time to put her hair up. Anyway, I've been trying to be more relaxed about that this week. Today, Evie's hair was covered in cream cheese, she had a popsicle so she's sticky. It was really bad. We decided that we're going to cut her hair but I still want to wait because of covid and we don't go anywhere unless we absolutely have to so until then I"m just going to have to play with it or maybe only do her hair when other people come over. Letting go is really hard because it looks bad. She looks so dirty and she just had a bath yesterday. I gave her another bath today...I guess she's just going to have to have more baths. She loves baths, maybe that will mix things up.

Natalie: I vote that you just do it in your kitchen with a pair of scissors.

Sarah: Gasp

Natalie: I cut all of our kids hair and Nick's hair.

Sarah: nice, you probably save so much that money that way! I guess I was thinking I wanted her first hair cut to be a picture/video experience. But only one of us can go in with her, so maybe it'd be better with both of us there for the experience.

Natalie: I feel like it's just as special of a memory if Mommy does it.

Sarah: Yeah and we can save a bunch of her locks. Maybe that's what we'll do. So that's where we are with that. and then for my hello last week I talked about how I tried to escape zip ties based on this guy who is an ex-royal marine that I found on instagram. He does all these escape videos and one of them was escaping zip ties. and I tried it unsuccessfully again. The zip ties were just too heavy duty I think. Well anyway I said he's from the U.K...but he's probably, DUTCH in the USA since his handle is @dutchintheUSA. How about you, Natalie, any rewinds?

Natalie: I talked to my Mom and she listened to the episode where I mentioned she was my yes and we laughed about how I followed her around the house. She said you could have just sat down at relaxed. It just feels weird letting someone else do everything.

Sarah: It feels like you have to manage it like you have to make sure that nothing is forgotten so they all sleep. For me, it's making sure everything is done so the kids sleep all night.

Natalie: For me, it more about feeling guilty if I let her do all the work or something. So anyway we talked about that a little bit.

So next up, we're really excited about this

Sarah: Yes! We have our first listener emails! It makes me really happy. People are responding, they're listening, they're liking.

Natalie: Oh, it's so fun.

Sarah: The first email I'm going to read is from Angie. It says:

Hi Natalie and Sarah,

As someone who listens to podcasts religiously and isn't a mother, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your first episode. Since I don't have children of my own, it's sometimes hard to relate to what being a parent entails. But your stories made me have more empathy for those in my life who are trying to juggle parenthood. My boyfriend has been the primary caregiver of his daughter since she was born and is currently responsible for doing virtual learning with her three days a week. He's told me similar stories about public meltdown and sleepless nights when she was a toddler.

Wow, thank you, Angie, that's so amazing that someone who doesn't have kids is listening too.

Natalie: She's a bonus Mom. My first one is from Amy and she has older kids but she said:

My advice from a mother of older kids is to let your littles make mistakes. Be there to catch them when they fail, help them learn from the experience.

and I loved that.

Sarah: Yeah, I love that too. I think that's hard to do. Especially when my toddler is interacting with other toddlers and they're not sharing or something, I know she'll learn better..if you watch long enough they figure it out, but I'm always stepping in. It's another worry of someone thinking I'm a bad mom because of my daughter's actions which is not fair to my daughter because I'm centering myself.

Natalie: I step in when it's with strangers, but when we're with people who I'm really close with the parents and we're friends it's almost like we make an agreement that we're going to let them figure this out. Then I know it's a safe place that my kids can do it as well.

Sarah: Ohhhh that's perfect because everyone is agreement beforehand, your kids are safe, and they're making their own mistakes.

This next email is from an anonymous listener. It says:

Great first podcast episode! It was my first podcast listen ever! It's not really bad advice, but I hated when people would tell me, 'at least your baby is healthy. or, healthy baby, happy momma!' after I had a traumatic birth experience with my older son. It made me feel really guilty at a vulnerable time. Now I make sure to never say anything like that to new Moms where I didn't realize before how it could be taken so poorly.

Natalie: I loved her perspective. I thought that was really enlightening.

So our last email today is from Samantha. She has some advice, but she also had a really great sleepwalking story that I wanted to read.

She said:

As a new mother and a young mother I wish someone had told me how important it is to accept help from others. With my first two kids I was completely on an island alone and it was so difficult. I had more help with my last two, but I also had far more friendships established. Also, when you're at the hospital, let the nurses take the baby to the nurser for a few hours so you can actually sleep.

Her nine year old will sleepwalk from time to time. When he was four or five he walked into the living room and tried to pee into the play refrigerator in his play kitchen. It's now a hilarious story that he is very proud of.

Sarah: I love that he was proud of it. At first, I thought it was going to be in their actual fridge. or in the freezer, can you imagine if it froze? That's where my brain went: What's the worst outcome of having to clean this up that could occur.

Thank you for the emails everyone!

Okay, Natalie, what's your yes?

Natalie: Yay! My yes is game-changers in kids development. There's some obvious things that make your life a lot easer like: sleeping through the night and that kind of stuff. But I Love thinking about the weird things that make a huge difference. Like when they're still young and learn to put the pacifier back in their mouth on their own. That felt like a huge moment. Especially in the middle of the night we would have kids that would lose the pacifier and then wake up. That felt huge. Every so often my kids hit one of these things and it always feels like a big deal. Even, like, holding their own bottle. One of my favorites was when they learned to buckle their own seatbelts. The boys used to have to sit all the way in the back of our mini an and before they could buckle themselves in , I had to open the trunk and stand in the trunk where anyone that drives by can see my butt hanging out over the back and lean over the backseat to buckle them in. So when they could buckle themselves that was a huge deal. Small things like putting on their own shoes. When we leave the house it takes forever for everyone to get dressed. We live in a cold and snowy area, so shoes and coats that sort of stuff. Recently, our kids are finally confident with the remote control. Next level screen time. I can tell them, yes, you can watch tv, and they can do it all on their own. So I don't have to stop the dishes or whatever else I'm doing and they can turn it on, they can get to Netflix, or Hulu, or Amazon Prime, they can pick the shows that they want, they can change it if they want to. That's huge for me.

Sarah: That's one of the most frustrating things for me is when I have to stop in the middle of something like a chore and just trying to get it done. It seems to take so much longer to get things done, even the little things. So I'm going to start training Evie on the remote.

Natalie: Do it! It's totally worth it!

Resources mentioned this week include:

-Survival strategies by @dutchintheusa

-Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, found on instagram @dr.tracyd and on the podcast “I am not your shrink” You can also learn more about Dr. Tracy Dalgleish by visiting her website: https://drtracyd.com

-TikTok account @celinaspookyboo

-Tiger Lady retractable self-defense claws: tigerlady.com

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast and Twitter @lumpymotherpod1

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes’, no’s, and hello’s, or anything else you might want to share!

Detailed Show Synopsis:

Welcome to the Lumpy Mother! The podcast where we talk about the joys and terrors of motherhood. Natalie and Sarah are two best friends and Moms who love learning and laughing together. Sarah has two kids, an 8 month old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter and Natalie has 4 kids, an 8 year old daughter and 3 sons who are 7,6, and 18 months.

And because they need to remind themselves of this sometimes, Natalie and Sarah are people too! And as a person, Natalie likes to read books, especially ones that aren't about counting elephants or wishing a dump truck good night. She is also passionate about collecting crafting supplies she will probably never use.

And Sarah, as a person, enjoys sleeping 8 hours without interruption and values quiet, peaceful mornings sipping hot coffee while reading a book. Oh, and loud, repetitive noises are a personal pet peeve of hers.

If you want consolation in the fact that you're not the only parent who is so mentally exhausted you accidentally called a lawn mower a yard vacuum, then you've come to the right space!

The way this works is each week, Natalie and Sarah have a yes, a no, and a hello for the week. In other words they will share something good, bad, and something random that happened to them during their week in parenting. They have a feeling you will be able to relate to their experiences! And if you can't relate, they still want to hear from you. Email them at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com and tell them what you think about the topics they cover!

Natalie and Sarah start of this episode by sharing how they got to know each other and become such good friends. It all started on the 2000s in Northwest Indiana where the two attended the same high school. They had a few mutual friends but did not connect until years later when they randomly ended up working at the same nonprofit together. It was such a special moment. In fact, Sarah still remembers the exact shirt Natalie wore that day.

The hosts then go on to update us on the topics they covered in the last episode. Natalie called her mom to gain some reassurance that she didn't always have a hot meal on the table like Natalie remembers. Natalie reflects on why she hates cooking so much and she realized that it is all of the planning and organizing that goes into it. She hates having to plan out what her and her family are going to eat every night.

Sarah's rewind takes us back to her discussion of mindfulness in last week's episode. Sarah looked into mindfulness a bit and shares the definition she found online. She learned about mindfulness and emotional regulation from Taylor Study method, a behavior health company (https://blog.taylorstudymethod.com/mindfulness-and-emotional-regulation/). According to the Taylor Study method's]]>Sarah and Natalie talk about about coping strategies you can use to help you stay calm while your toddler has meltdown after meltdown, survival skills, what happens when your kids sleepwalk, and more in this episode!

Resources mentioned this week include:

-Survival strategies by @dutchintheusa

-Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, found on instagram @dr.tracyd and on the podcast “I am not your shrink” You can also learn more about Dr. Tracy Dalgleish by visiting her website: https://drtracyd.com

-TikTok account @celinaspookyboo

-Tiger Lady retractable self-defense claws: tigerlady.com

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast and Twitter @lumpymotherpod1

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes’, no’s, and hello’s, or anything else you might want to share!

Detailed Show Synopsis:

Welcome to the Lumpy Mother! The podcast where we talk about the joys and terrors of motherhood. Natalie and Sarah are two best friends and Moms who love learning and laughing together. Sarah has two kids, an 8 month old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter and Natalie has 4 kids, an 8 year old daughter and 3 sons who are 7,6, and 18 months.

And because they need to remind themselves of this sometimes, Natalie and Sarah are people too! And as a person, Natalie likes to read books, especially ones that aren't about counting elephants or wishing a dump truck good night. She is also passionate about collecting crafting supplies she will probably never use.

And Sarah, as a person, enjoys sleeping 8 hours without interruption and values quiet, peaceful mornings sipping hot coffee while reading a book. Oh, and loud, repetitive noises are a personal pet peeve of hers.

If you want consolation in the fact that you're not the only parent who is so mentally exhausted you accidentally called a lawn mower a yard vacuum, then you've come to the right space!

The way this works is each week, Natalie and Sarah have a yes, a no, and a hello for the week. In other words they will share something good, bad, and something random that happened to them during their week in parenting. They have a feeling you will be able to relate to their experiences! And if you can't relate, they still want to hear from you. Email them at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com and tell them what you think about the topics they cover!

Natalie and Sarah start of this episode by sharing how they got to know each other and become such good friends. It all started on the 2000s in Northwest Indiana where the two attended the same high school. They had a few mutual friends but did not connect until years later when they randomly ended up working at the same nonprofit together. It was such a special moment. In fact, Sarah still remembers the exact shirt Natalie wore that day.

The hosts then go on to update us on the topics they covered in the last episode. Natalie called her mom to gain some reassurance that she didn't always have a hot meal on the table like Natalie remembers. Natalie reflects on why she hates cooking so much and she realized that it is all of the planning and organizing that goes into it. She hates having to plan out what her and her family are going to eat every night.

Sarah's rewind takes us back to her discussion of mindfulness in last week's episode. Sarah looked into mindfulness a bit and shares the definition she found online. She learned about mindfulness and emotional regulation from Taylor Study method, a behavior health company (https://blog.taylorstudymethod.com/mindfulness-and-emotional-regulation/). According to the Taylor Study method's blog, "Mindfulness can help regulate emotions was suggested by Dr. Ron Siegel’s in his video “The Science of Mindfulness” below. Dr. Siegel, who is Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, explains that often our approach to emotional discomfort is to do things that make us feel happier, and thus to decrease the intensity of discomfort and pain. Mindfulness works the other way round, by increasing our ability to bear with discomfort, both on the physical and emotional level." The article continues, "When our capacity to bear with emotional discomfort is enlarged, we are less likely to react to our emotions or to let them control us." You can learn more about mindfulness and emotional regulation by reading the full article here: https://blog.taylorstudymethod.com/mindfulness-and-emotional-regulation/

Sarah then Segues into her yes to discuss the many coping strategies (in addition to mindfulness) that she applies to help herself cope with her toddler's tantrums. It used to drive Sarah wild when she would see information out there that suggested parents need to stay calm while their toddler has meltdown after meltdown. Sarah found this advice frustrating and unrealistic. But she's been working on finding that calm by applying coping mechanisms to deal with the stress of toddler tantrums and has discovered that perhaps she can cope with them after all!

One coping strategy Sarah applies is to put her feet up on a wall while lying on her back on the floor, creating an "L" shape with her body. She learned this is a yoga pose. Sarah does this while her daughter screams and screams and screams. According to the website https://www.bristolcityyoga.co.uk/blog/legs-up-the-wall-reduce-anxiety "It supports the flow of blood back to the heart (the ‘venous return’) which sends a message to the body and the nervous system to move into its rest, digest & de-stress mode." This coping strategy helps Sarah separate herself from her daughter's emotions and helps her feel better and more capable of coping with the tantrums. Read the full article here: https://www.bristolcityyoga.co.uk/blog/legs-up-the-wall-reduce-anxiety

Another coping strategy Sarah uses is to take a cold shower! Advice she has heard throughout her life but thought of more as an old wive's tale like the one's that suggest you put a dead chicken over your head to cure whatever ailment. It's miserable, but the after effects of the cold shower feel pretty stupendous. If Sarah's having a rough day she will ferociously stare at a spot on her shower wall that looks like a tiger and sing twinkle, twinkle little star angrily while she suffers through the downpour of freezing cold water. Sarah learned about the benefits of a cold shower from a podcast called "I am not your shrink," with psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish. You can find Dr. Tracy Dalgleish on instagram @dr.tracyd. You can also listen to her podcast here: https://drtracyd.com/podcast/ or wherever you get your podcasts. Sarah loves Dr. Tracy and likes to imagine she's an owl because she's so wise.

So yes, a cold shower is miserable, yes it is most definitely hard to find the motivation to do, but afterwards you're ready to take on the day. You feel pumped up! It's also easier to do when you're having a really bad day because you just fuel your rage into the coldness and it doesn't feel so bad.

Natalie admits that her really unhealthy coping mechanism Is snacking. If she's really stressed out she uses that as an excuse to eat all the delicious, unhealthy treats.

Sarah goes on to explain that since she is recovering from postpartum depression she will cling onto any coping strategy that will keep her above falling into that heavy darkness again that is depression. When you're deep in the trenches of depression you're willing to try anything to feel just a little bit better. These coping mechanisms are things Sarah can hold onto that helps her feel like she has control over something that I often feel so out of control with.

Another thing that helps Sarah feel in control is researching everything and feeling like she knows as much as she can about the challenges she faces. This worked to her disadvantage after her daughter was born and had colic. There is nothing you can do for colic but get through it. Sarah wants anyone out there who has a baby with colic that she could just cry thinking about you and is sending you all the love she can.

Back to the cold shower. There's some scientific evidence that supports the benefits of cold showers. Researchers from the University of Osaka (see: https://www.lifehack.org/375978/cold-shower-powerful-way-to-improve-your-mental-health)found that "cold water bathing has a beneficial affect in reducing the cortisol hormone. Some studies show that it can improve our resilience to stress. Also, people who have the habit of swimming in cold water and taking cold showers reported improved mood, less stress, more energy and pain relief from rheumatism." One more interesting tidbit is that cold showers "activate beta-endorphin and Nora-adrenaline in the brain...Nora-adrenaline is used in anti-depressant medication" (visit https://www.lifehack.org/375978/cold-shower-powerful-way-to-improve-your-mental-health for full article).

Another coping mechanism Sarah uses is breath work. Sarah will lay on the floor and breathe in and then make sure to let her breath go all the way out. Supposedly when you breathe out for longer than you breathe in it activates your parasympathetic nervous system which has something to do with staying out of that survival flight, fight, freeze mode. Basically, you don't want your rational mind to go offline.

Natalie is proud of Sarah for even being in the state of mind to remember these coping mechanism in the moments where it feels like everything is crashing down all around you.

And that's the hardest part. When your toddler is having a massive meltdown, it's incredibly difficult not to let yourself go to that place where you're triggered and angry because that's what your body naturally wants to do. To be able to stop yourself and apply these coping strategies is the hardest part. You can know these things, but that doesn't mean you will always put them into action.

Natalie's yes this week is an awesome yes. Her yes is about her mom. Natalie works part-time and is fortunate that she can do most of her work from home. But every so often it's good for her to get into the office because she is much more productive there than in the playroom at home, surrounded by her kids. So every so often my mom helps watch the kids so I can go to work. I knew this was going to be a really rough week, so I called and asked if after she babysit she could stay through dinner to help Natalie through the witching hour...that Time that is so hard to control. My Mom is my yes this week because she rolls with the punches 100 percent.

When she walks into Natalie's house, it is chaos from the get-go. First of all, Natalie has a 9 month old Great Dane puppy who is 90-95 pounds and will grow to be about 160-180 pounds! So Natalie's Mom walks in the door and the Great Dane is all energy. Her kids, who haven't seen Grandma a ton because of the pandemic, it was almost like they were quivering with excitement, like little chihuahuas in the corner. They were just shaking with crazy eyes because they couldn't contain their excitement that Grandma was coming for a whole day.

Then she walks into the house and half of our Christmas decorations are still up and the other half are just in boxes throughout every room. It's a mess. In my living room I had seven laundry baskets of clean laundry that I had been washing. My house is chaos.

My Mom doesn't even bat an eye. She's here for it. She's ready. Natalie goes to work and her Mom does ALL of her kids' virtual learning with them. Because she's Grandma she gives each of the kids one on one time. So the kids got a ton of attention that they don't always get and they were fulfilled in that way. By the time Natalie got home, her mom entertained her kids happily while Natalie cooks. She stayed through dinner then helps Natalie put the kids in their pajamas, reads them bedtime stories, gets ALL of her kids in bed. Natalie feels like she was following her Mom around like a fifth kid. She took charge. Natalie's Mom is a superstar Mom! After the kids were all in bed, Natalie and her Mom just sat on the couch in the living room and just hung out together. It was awesome because Natalie and her family have been really careful due to covid. They lost Natalie's Father-in-law to Covid this past year. So Natalie has not had a lot of time with her Mom who she's really close with and usually sees pretty often. Also, her Mom could tell that she needed an adult to hang out with. Every parent can understand what I mean when I say that. It's a type of nourishment. It was incredible and totally got me through this week.

It's weird when this happens because there's some guilt there that she went so above and beyond. But then I remind myself that I would be so happy to do that for my kids some day. It was a yes in every way for me. She took care of my kids and kind of took care of me too. When someone comes and takes charge, it's not only a physical break but a mental break as well.

I hope that even if you don't have this kind of relationship with your mom that you have someone out there who can be in your life with no guilt and no judgment.

Sarah's no this week is power struggles. Sarah gets wrapped up in winning when she gets into power struggles with her toddler over putting her hair up.

Resources mentioned this week include the Instagram accounts: @drbeckyathome, @biglittlefeelings, @ourmamavillage.

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast or Twitter @Lumpymotherpod1.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Welcome and thank you for checking out the first episode of The Lumpy Mother Podcast! The Lumpy Mother is a space where parents can feel less alone in their day-to-day struggles while also learning along with the hosts as they navigate this vigorous undertaking that is parenting. Let's celebrate the joys and terrors of parenthood together while making sure to laugh at ourselves and how ridiculously hard it all is at the same time.

Each week, Natalie and Sarah share a yes, no, and a hello about something going on in their parenting experience. In other words, they share something good, something bad, and something random each week. They have a feeling you'll be able to relate to all the ups, downs, twists and turns they discuss.

Episode 1 premiere's with Natalie's yes--the advice she gives to a first time parent. Traveling down this path brought with it all the horrible advice Natalie received before she had her first baby. Sleep when the baby sleeps is one such piece of horrible advice. No matter how well meaning this advice may be, it doesn't work! Not to mention, if you sleep when the baby sleeps and are still exhausted (which you will be!) it feels like there is A LOT of room for error. This common piece of bad advice is plain silly when you consider that the only time you CAN sleep is when the baby sleeps. There is also, the common saying floating around social media that accurately represents this advice which states, "fold laundry when the baby folds laundry." A truer rebuttal may yet to be revealed.

The best advice Natalie received as a new mom was actually advice that was given to her friend, Nora. Nora's older sister told her she needed to go over every week and clean for Natalie after she became a mom for the first time. Nora fulfilled this and Natalie couldn't have been more thankful, especially since she struggled with postpartum challenges. Taking care and paying attention to your Mental Health is the advice Natalie now believes is the most important to convey to anyone who is about to become a new Mom. Especially when it feels like you're supposed to be happy when you have a new baby, which is certainly not the case when so many things are going on with your body in addition to the mental load that comes along with the unforgiving sleep deprivation and such a major life transition. Natalie also advises not to compare yourself to other moms as a way to protect your mental health after you become a new Mom. It's important to remember that all of our motherhood experiences are unique to our lives and our children. It's impossible to be accurate when comparing yourself to othe Moms and isn't helpful in the least let alone realistic.

Sarah weighs in on what advice she provides someone who is about to become a new Mom and suggests being RELENTLESSLY kind to yourself! You don't have to believe the terrible thoughts that may come into your head. Those are thoughts, and you can choose whether or not you believe them. You are not alone in those terrifying thoughts that can come to you during the postpartum period. You are not a bad Mom if you have these thoughts, though it may be a sign, as it was for Sarah who had Postpartum Depression (PPD), that you need to seek help, and that's okay! Everything is going to be okay.

Sarah's turn to share her parenting yes of the week. Sarah has been attempting to practice mindfulness. Her...]]>Natalie and Sarah talk about bad advice for new moms, how to handle it when kids choose a favorite parent, and whether or not our kids (or us) will ever grow out of potty humor.

Resources mentioned this week include the Instagram accounts: @drbeckyathome, @biglittlefeelings, @ourmamavillage.

You can follow Lumpy Mother on Facebook and Instagram @lumpymotherpodcast or Twitter @Lumpymotherpod1.

We want to hear from you! Email us at lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com with your yes, no's and hello's, or anything else you might want to share!

Welcome and thank you for checking out the first episode of The Lumpy Mother Podcast! The Lumpy Mother is a space where parents can feel less alone in their day-to-day struggles while also learning along with the hosts as they navigate this vigorous undertaking that is parenting. Let's celebrate the joys and terrors of parenthood together while making sure to laugh at ourselves and how ridiculously hard it all is at the same time.

Each week, Natalie and Sarah share a yes, no, and a hello about something going on in their parenting experience. In other words, they share something good, something bad, and something random each week. They have a feeling you'll be able to relate to all the ups, downs, twists and turns they discuss.

Episode 1 premiere's with Natalie's yes--the advice she gives to a first time parent. Traveling down this path brought with it all the horrible advice Natalie received before she had her first baby. Sleep when the baby sleeps is one such piece of horrible advice. No matter how well meaning this advice may be, it doesn't work! Not to mention, if you sleep when the baby sleeps and are still exhausted (which you will be!) it feels like there is A LOT of room for error. This common piece of bad advice is plain silly when you consider that the only time you CAN sleep is when the baby sleeps. There is also, the common saying floating around social media that accurately represents this advice which states, "fold laundry when the baby folds laundry." A truer rebuttal may yet to be revealed.

The best advice Natalie received as a new mom was actually advice that was given to her friend, Nora. Nora's older sister told her she needed to go over every week and clean for Natalie after she became a mom for the first time. Nora fulfilled this and Natalie couldn't have been more thankful, especially since she struggled with postpartum challenges. Taking care and paying attention to your Mental Health is the advice Natalie now believes is the most important to convey to anyone who is about to become a new Mom. Especially when it feels like you're supposed to be happy when you have a new baby, which is certainly not the case when so many things are going on with your body in addition to the mental load that comes along with the unforgiving sleep deprivation and such a major life transition. Natalie also advises not to compare yourself to other moms as a way to protect your mental health after you become a new Mom. It's important to remember that all of our motherhood experiences are unique to our lives and our children. It's impossible to be accurate when comparing yourself to othe Moms and isn't helpful in the least let alone realistic.

Sarah weighs in on what advice she provides someone who is about to become a new Mom and suggests being RELENTLESSLY kind to yourself! You don't have to believe the terrible thoughts that may come into your head. Those are thoughts, and you can choose whether or not you believe them. You are not alone in those terrifying thoughts that can come to you during the postpartum period. You are not a bad Mom if you have these thoughts, though it may be a sign, as it was for Sarah who had Postpartum Depression (PPD), that you need to seek help, and that's okay! Everything is going to be okay.

Sarah's turn to share her parenting yes of the week. Sarah has been attempting to practice mindfulness. Her understanding of mindfulness is that it can help regulate the nervous system and help you be more in tune with your children. Sarah has noticed that while her two year old is having a tantrum, if she is able to bring her attention to how her feet feel on the floor or notice other things in the present moment by applying her different senses, she is able to separate herself from her anger and avoid an unsavory reaction to her toddler's intense and constant tantrums.

Sarah mentions a few wonderful parenting resources who helped her come to this understanding of mindfulness and how being present with your children can be extremely beneficial. These resources are all on instagram and include @Biglittlefeelings, @ourmamavillage, and @dr.beckyathome. You can find @biglittlefeelings online at: https://biglittlefeelings.com. @ourmamavillage's website is: https://ourmamavillage.com, and definitely make sure to read the many resources of @drbeckyathome on her website at: https://drbeckyathome.com. These three resources have changed the way Sarah parents and even the way she thinks about how she parents.

On to Natalie's no for the week. Natalie's 18 month old son, Charlie, earned his public screaming badge this week. His first major meltdown in, of all places, the peaceful, the beautiful, Barnes and Noble. Natalie explains that due to the pandemic and having her three older kids home for virtual learning all day, times have been stressful to say the least. In order to avoid more chaos, Natalie realized she has been laughing at all of Charlie's behavior--desirable and undesirable-- and may have accidentally been encouraging some of the undesirable behaviors. The easiest option is often to tell her older kids to do something else if Charlie is getting upset, so Natalie has pretty much been giving in to every fit Charlie has ever had. Needlesss to say, she has accidentally created an adorable 18 month old baby monster.

Natalie survived the public tantrum, but not without morphing the store spirit of Barnes and Noble from one of intellect and relaxation to one of baby-screaming terror and chaos. She has no doubt there was a sigh of collective relief from the patrons of Barnes and Noble as she wrestled her alligator spinning baby out of the store.

Sarah's NO is surprisingly not surprisingly about meltdowns too! As the Mom of an 8 month year old (year old? eight month old! whoops;), and a 2 1/2 year old, Sarah is in the thick of the toddler meltdown madness. This week, her 2 1/2 year old has developed a parent preference for Daddy. Every morning starts with a lot of screams and alligator rolls as her strong-willed daughter screams for Daddy. It's hard on all involved, especially at seven in the morning pre-coffee, food, and the alertness of Sarah's basic bodily sensibilities.

When you're in the meltdown madness that can be the daily experience of parenting a toddler, it wears you down! When Sarah is completely worn down from the constant meltdowns, she confesses it's an all day screen time day for her...and, honestly, sometimes those days are the best days. "When I don't have any more in me, it's screen time," she explains. Sometimes that's just what a parent needs to get through the day. Sarah knows there's a lot of research out there about the negative effects of screen time, but she begs the question, what about the parents? "We are responsible for virtually every facet of this child's development. If we are about to jump off a bridge, we need to take it back, be kind to ourselves, and give some screen time!" Sarah declares, "If you're ready to jump off a bridge, it's time for screen time! You matter!" Sarah goes on to explain, "I think a part of our child's development is how well we [parents] can cope with the immense stress. The better we can cope, the better parents we can be."

Time for the Hellos! Natalie had a really weird food week in her house. As someone who's own mother was a master cook who had a hot meal on the table every night, Natalie struggles with comparing herself to her mom. It doesn't help that Natalie doesn't even like to cook but she also holds an idea in her head that for her to be a good Mom she has to have a hot meal on the table every night for her family. She is learning to come to terms with the fact that this just isn't feasible in her life.

The weird food week started with a sale on bagels at her local grocery store which meant 5 bags of bagels. Everyone was eating bagels that week for breakfast at Natalies. That night, after solo parenting for the week while her husband worked long hours, Natalie went for it and gave her kids cereal for dinner. She noticed that she wanted to feel guilty about this cereal- for- dinner decision, but was able to take it back and realize, this does not affect the way they feel loved. In fact, they probably really enjoy it! Natalie was proud she didn't let the mom-guilt seep it's way in that night. "My kids went to bed fed, happy, loved. At the end of the day, that's what matters," she said.

Sarah's hello is about her daughter's love for potty humor. In Sarah's house, poop is funny. Sarah understands that not everyone shares this kind of humor. Some people do, after all, grow up...mature...become adults, as they say. Sarah, on the other hand, has not matured in this way and she's cool with that. However, her daughter Evie, loves to repeat, "poop, poop,poop poop, mama poop," over and over. She even calls her farts poopoo bubbles! Hilarious, if you ask Sarah. This week Sarah came to the realization that her daughter will eventually have to be reintroduced to society at large once the pandemic ends. Perhaps she should calm down the declarations of POOOOP from her adorable (and hilarious) 2 year old.

Side Note: the people who reviewed home videos for America's Funniest Home Videos probably experienced trauma from some of the videos they had to view.

Back to business. Natalie goes on to note about her family's similar enjoyment of potty humor. Her kids still think potty humor is the funniest thing in the world. At one point, she had to double check to make sure her boys didn't purchase a Christmas Fart Package Extension, which is apparently a thing!

At the end of the day, Sarah and Natalie agree that they can hope that, some day, their children will, at the very least, understand the right context to apply their unsavory tastes in humor. Though this is improbable in Sarah's life as she herself is not great at knowing when best to apply her own humor... we can all hope.

And that's it! The official first episode of The Lumpy Mother Podcast! Remember, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at Lumpymotherpodcast@gmail.com and fill us in with your yes's and no's! Or tell us, What advice to you give to someone becoming a new mom? Do you have any funny stories about your child's love of potty humor?

You can also follow us on Instagram and Facebook @lumpymotherpodcast and Twitter @lumpymotherpod1. Make sure to join us every Tuesday. You can listen to us on our website by following the link: https://lumpymother.captivate.fm, on apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts!