In this episode, Melli explores what it means to live from a state of enoughness, and how so much of our drive to improve ourselves is often fuelled by a deeper feeling of lack.

You’ll learn how to:

Recognise the “not enough yet” stories in your mind

Understand the survival patterns that keep you striving

Shift from focusing on what’s missing to what’s already here

Begin living from a deeper place of wholeness, calm, and self-acceptance

This is a simple but powerful shift you can begin practising today.

If this episode resonates, consider subscribing, following the podcast, or sharing it with someone who might benefit.

Want to go deeper?

Learn more in Melli’s book Deep Resilience: melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

Explore free weekly teachings and a free mini course on becoming deeply resilient at www.melliobrien.com

In this episode, Melli explores the concept of inner liberation, the process of freeing yourself from limiting beliefs and unconscious patterns that keep you stuck.

Through a powerful story and a practical 4-step process, you’ll learn how to:

Recognise the beliefs shaping your experience

Question patterns that may be holding you back

Shift into a more empowering way of seeing

Begin creating real change in your life

This is a simple but powerful practice you can start today.

What’s one belief you’ve noticed in your life that might not be serving you anymore?

👇 Share below. I’d love to hear. If this resonated, consider subscribing and sharing with someone who might benefit.

Want to go deeper?

Learn more in Melli’s book Deep Resilience: melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book Explore free weekly teachings and a free mini course on becoming deeply resilience @ www.melliobrien.com

A gentle mindfulness meditation to help you release stress, relax the body, and calm the mind.

This 20-minute guided practice supports your nervous system in unwinding tension and letting go of mental and emotional stress. You’ll be guided step by step to soften the body, quiet the mind, and return to a natural state of calm and balance.

Ideal for reducing stress, easing anxiety, and resetting during the day.

Allow yourself to pause, release, and come back to ease.

Best listened to in a quiet space where you can fully relax.

Many of us are living very full lives… busy, productive, and putting in a great deal of effort. And yet, for many of us, our levels of fulfilment, wellbeing, and contentment may not always seem to rise alongside it.

In this episode, you’re invited to pause and reflect on the “measuring stick” you’re using for success, and whether it truly supports a meaningful, connected, and fulfilling life.

You’ll explore the difference between resume virtues and eulogy virtues, and discover how aligning your life with deeper, more intrinsic values can lead to greater happiness, connection, and inner peace.

There’s also a simple Tiny Act of Freedom to help you redefine success for yourself and begin taking small, meaningful steps toward a life that feels more aligned.

A small shift in how you define success can change everything.

Want to go deeper?

Learn more in Melli’s book Deep Resilience:

melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

Explore free weekly teachings and a free mini course on becoming deeply resileint @ www.melliobrien.com

A gentle, soothing practice to help you unwind the mind, relax the body, and transition out of the day.

This meditation is designed to support you in letting go of what’s been on your mind, settling your nervous system, and drifting into a natural, restful sleep.

The perfect way to ease into the night, so you can wake feeling refreshed, restored, and grounded.

Best listened to in bed as you prepare to sleep.

If you found this helpful, feel free to subscribe for more free meditations and practical tools to support calm, clarity, and inner strength.

So often, it’s not just what happens that causes us stress and suffering. It’s the way the mind interprets what happens. And when we don’t see that clearly, we can get pulled into unnecessary suffering, overwhelm, and emotional spirals.

In this episode, you’ll discover a powerful mindfulness insight that can help you step out of unhelpful mental patterns and return to a calmer, clearer, more grounded way of meeting life.

A small shift in awareness can change everything.

Want to go deeper? Learn more in Melli’s book Deep Resilience:

melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book and her website offers free weekly teachings at www.melliobrien.com

When anxiety rises, it can pull the whole system into stress and survival mode. This practice is designed to help you soften out of that state by finding peace in the midst of tension, settling the nervous system, and creating a steadier inner ground of calm, compassion, and clarity.

Return to this anytime you feel anxious, overwhelmed, mentally busy, or emotionally activated and need a gentle space to come back to yourself.

A lot of the time, we're being pushed around by the mind’s ancient survival patterns: worry, self-doubt, reactivity, rumination. These patterns evolved to keep our ancestors alive, but in modern life they often leave us feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and disconnected from our deeper wisdom.

In this episode, we explore a framework for how to shift from being dominated by those patterns to living from a deeper inner ground of awareness, clarity, and purpose.

You’ll learn:

• Inner Leadership: What it means to stop letting survival patterns run your life

• A simple framework for understanding how your inner system works

• The Four Skills of Inner Leadership

• A skill you can use to get a taste of inner leadership right away: The Pivot Towards Purpose: A simple practice to interrupt reactivity and reconnect with your highest intention

When awareness takes the lead, something powerful begins to change. We stop being swept away by the mind’s noise and start responding to life with greater calm, courage, and clarity.

Try the Pivot Towards Purpose practice this week and see how it transforms the way you meet stress, uncertainty, and everyday challenges.

Want to go deeper? Learn more in Melli’s book Deep Resilience:

melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

This is a deeply soothing practice designed to help you unwind an anxious or restless mind and drift into sleep feeling relaxed, safe, and appreciative.

It’s a beautiful way to support deep, restorative rest.

In this episode, we unpack why the human mind is a "double-edged sword." While it has the power to create rockets and medicine, it’s also running an ancient survival operating system designed for the savannah, not the city. We explore how patterns like overthinking, self-doubt, and reactivity are not personal flaws. They are expressions of 200,000 years of evolution.

You’ll learn:

Why your mind defaults to fear: Understanding the "caveman" wiring behind anxiety and stress.

The "Tribe Program": Why we are so hooked on approval and the fear of not being enough.

Breaking the Spell: How to move from "What’s wrong with me?" to "I can see the program running."

Tiny Act: Shift the Program: A practice to interrupt reactivity and allow awareness to take the lead.

When we stop fighting the mind and start leading it, we move from just surviving to truly thriving. Practice this shift this week and see how it changes your relationship with your thoughts and your life.

Want to dive deeper? Learn more in Melli’s book Deep Resilience: melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

When the mind is spinning or dragging you down, it can pull your nervous system into survival mode. This practice helps you create space around thoughts, soften the inner dialogue, and reconnect with a steadier inner ground of calm, compassion, and clarity.

Return to this anytime you feel mentally flooded, stuck in worry, or caught in self-criticism.

In this episode, we explore the difference between the thinking mind (with it's survival based operating system) and awareness (with it's wisdom based operating system), and how shifting from survival mode into inner leadership allows us to meet life with more steadiness, clarity, courage, and peace.

You’ll learn:

• Why we lose access to our inner ground under pressure

• The difference between the thinking mind and awareness

• What it means to live wisdom-led instead of fear-led

• A simple “Drop Anchor” practice you can use in real time to step out of reactivity

With this simple practice of dropping anchor you can find a strong inner ground through more of daily life. Small shifts, repeated, create big lasting changes.

Want to dive deeper? Learn more in Melli’s book Deep Resilience: melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

You are not separate from life… you are part of it.

When stress, anxiety, or overwhelm arise, the mind can shrink our sense of self into something small, isolated, and under threat. But beneath that survival pattern, there is a deeper reality. A living sense of connection, belonging, and wholeness that has always been here.

This meditation is an invitation to soften out of survival mode and remember your interconnectedness with life itself.

Through gentle awareness and embodied presence, you’ll be guided to:

• Reconnect with a sense of belonging and support within life

• Settle the nervous system and unwind stress

• Experience the deeper ground of peace and steadiness beneath the thinking mind

• Strengthen your capacity to live from your Wisdom OS

This is a practice you can return to anytime you feel disconnected, overwhelmed, or simply want to reconnect with what is deepest and truest within you.

This is Episode 1, and your first Tiny Act of Freedom: Taming the Mind.

The mind is brilliant, but it’s also wired with an ancient Survival Operating System that can pull us into worry, self-criticism, comparison, and stress. In this episode, we explore why that happens, and how to shift from Survival OS into what I call your Wisdom OS: the deeper intelligence in you that meets life with steadiness, clarity, compassion, and quiet strength.

You’ll learn:

Why the mind gets so threat-focused (even when life is OK)

How survival patterns shape anxiety, stress, and “not enough” thinking

A simple practice you can use immediately to unhook from unhelpful thoughts

How small moments of discernment create real freedom in daily life

Learn more in Melli's book Deep Resilience: melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

This month, in place of the usual Deep Resilience episodes, I’m sharing The Wisdom Contemplations. Four guided reflections to help you reconnect with deeper wisdom as the year comes to a close.

In this fourth and final contemplation, we explore a simple but powerful practice to step beyond the usual noise of the thinking mind and connect with the quieter intelligence beneath it – the calm, wise, loving awareness at the core of your being.

You’ll be guided through a short inner journey to your access the core of consciousness, listen to it's wisdom, and have a space to write or simply sit with, the message this deeper wisdom has for you as you move into the next year of your life.

This contemplation is an invitation to remember that you carry a source of guidance within you that doesn’t depend on circumstances, and to leave this year holding that wisdom a little closer to your heart.

Resources & Links

Free Meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations

My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

The Mindset Shift for a Meaningful Life

This month, in place of the usual Deep Resilience episodes, I’m sharing The Wisdom Contemplations. Four guided reflections to help you reconnect with deeper wisdom as the year comes to a close.

In this third contemplation, we explore a powerful inner shift: moving from a life built only around résumé virtues (achievements, status, success) to a life guided by what researchers call “eulogy virtues” – the deeper qualities of character and heart that make a life truly meaningful.

Drawing on David Brooks’ distinction between résumé and eulogy virtues, we look at the research on what actually leads to fulfilment, and then move into a guided reflection with four simple questions to help you reconnect with what truly matters to you: who you want to be, how you want to love and contribute, and the kind of life you’ll be glad you lived.

You’ll also be guided through a short meditative process to let this wisdom land in your body and heart, so it doesn’t stay as an idea in your head but becomes a living orientation you can carry with you into the new year and beyond.

Resources & Links

Free Meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations

My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

This month, in place of the usual Deep Resilience episodes, I’m sharing The Wisdom Contemplations . Four guided reflections to help you reconnect with that deeper intelligence as the year comes to a close.

In this second contemplation, we explore the question: Who loved you into being?

Drawing on an endearing story about Fred Rogers, this episode guides you into a deeper awareness of the support that helped form who you are today you.

You’ll also be guided through a short meditative process to integrate the implications of this reflection, opening the heart and reconnecting with the quiet truth that none of us walk this life alone.

This contemplation is a gentle reminder of your belonging, your interconnectedness, and the love that has shaped your path in ways seen and unseen.

Resources & Links

Free Meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations

My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

At this time of year, many of us become focused on goals, improvements, and next steps. While reflection can be helpful, this constant push to optimise life and improve ourselves can also pull us away from our deeper intelligence the quiet wisdom that helps us sense what truly matters, what’s no longer aligned, and how we want to live.

In this first reflection, Seeing from a Higher Perspective, you’re guided through a simple contemplative practice to help you step out of being caught in plans, problems, and fears, and reconnect with a more spacious, grounded, and wise perspective within you.

From this higher view, your life can be seen more clearly. Emotional charge softens. Perspective widens. And instead of effortfully trying to figure everything out, a deeper knowing can begin to guide how you move forward.

This episode is an invitation to pause, step back, and let clarity emerge naturally.

Key Links and Notes:

Melli O’Brien:

https://melliobrien.com

Free Deep Resilience Resources:

https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Reflection Questions from this Episode:

You may like to sit with one or two of these questions after listening, either quietly, or with a journal.

• From a higher perspective, what no longer needs to be carried forward into the next chapter of my life?

• What patterns, habits, or attitudes am I ready to let go of?

• From this wider view, what truly matters to me now?

• What qualities do I want to live from more consistently, such as kindness, courage, presence, or care?

For years, I lived inside the “I have to” mindset.

I have to work harder.

I have to stay on top of everything.

I have to get it all done.

And like most people, I didn’t question it. I just carried the quiet weight of pressure, resentment, and inner tension that came with it.

But then something shifted.

In this episode, I share a simple but life-changing mindset shift. One that dissolves stress, restores a sense of agency, and reconnects you with what truly matters.

Such a small change in language…but it has the power to transform your mood, your clarity, your relationships, and your entire internal world.

If you’re longing for more wisdom, more intention, and more alignment in your daily life, this episode is for you.

Resources & Links

Deep Resilience Book: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

For years, I believed peace meant getting everything just right. calm mornings, a steady mind, and a life that finally stayed still.

But life had other plans.

In this episode, I share a story from my early meditation training. A lesson that began with a thundering roof full of possums and ended with one of the most liberating realisations of my life.

We’ll also explore a profound insight from psychologist David Richo on the five givens of life, and how embracing them can transform the way we meet change, pain, and imperfection.

If you’ve ever longed for peace that lasts, even when the roof is shaking, this episode is for you.

Resources & Links

Join Becoming Love: https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/

The Five Givens Book: https://www.amazon.com.au/Five-Things-We-Cannot-Change/dp/1590303083

My Book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

For a long time, I believed that healing meant fixing myself.

If I could just do enough inner work, clear enough trauma, become calm, kind, and wise all the time, then I’d finally be whole, awake, complete.

But over time, I came to see that all that effort to “heal” was actually coming from a subtle self‑rejection.

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I share my personal journey of letting go of spiritual perfectionism (still working on it, still practicing it), and finally embracing the path of true spiritual and psychological healing. How it changed my whole paradigm of what spirituality is, and how I now practice it in daily life.

I also share a simple practice you can use to bring this more effective, compassionate approach to healing into your own life - even with your most difficult patterns, thoughts and parts of yourself.

Resources & Links

Join Becoming Love: https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/

Free meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Conflicts with others can be one of the greatest sources of stress and suffering in our lives.

But what if there was a simple mindset shift that could help you reduce conflict within yourself, and shift to more helpful ways of relating with others?

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I explore a powerful practice that can diffuse inner tension, reduce emotional reactivity, and turn moments of friction into opportunities for connection and growth.

In this episode, we explore:

The hidden stories that fuel conflict

Why anger often masks deeper emotions like hurt or fear

How assumptions can escalate tension, and what to do instead

How one simple shift can become a powerful relational and spiritual practice for yourself, no matter what happens outside

This episode is for you if...

You’ve been feeling reactive or easily triggered in your relationships

You want to create more harmony and less stress in your life

You’re committed to growing spiritually through everyday interactions

Resources & Links

Join Becoming Love (starts Nov 20): https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/

Free meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

We all want love.

We long for the fullness, wholeness, and peace we sense it will bring.

But so often, the love we seek feels elusive, and even when we find it, it rarely satisfies us the way we hoped.

Erich Fromm, in his classic book The Art of Loving, suggested that our frustration in love comes from a misunderstanding.

We chase love without learning the skill of being love.

In this episode, I’ll explore two very different approaches:

Seeking love: the habitual, ego-driven pursuit of approval, worth, and validation

Being love: a deeper practice of embodying love as your nature

You’ll learn how the mind’s evolutionary wiring sets us up for seeking, and how you can shift from striving to standing in love, from searching to becoming it.

Resources & Links

Join Becoming Love (starts Nov 20): https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/

Free meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

But we often make things harder by focusing on everything we can’t control: what others are doing, what might happen next, or what’s already happened and can’t be changed.

The more we focus on what’s outside of our control, the more helpless, frustrated, and reactive we become.

But when we shift our attention to what is within our control we begin to reclaim our power.

In this episode, I’ll guide you through two simple steps to move from reactivity to empowerment.

You’ll learn how to centre yourself, clarify what’s truly within your control, and take calm, purposeful, effective action even when life feels chaotic.

This practice helps you meet life’s challenges with more steadiness, wisdom, and strength.

Over time, it trains your mind to stay focused on what matters most, and to act from presence instead of fear.

Resources & Links:

Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

My book Deep Resilience: A four-step framework for unshakable calm and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

We’ve all felt hurt by someone else’s words or actions, and sometimes that pain lingers long after the moment has passed.

When we hold on to resentment, it weighs us down, fuels stress, and closes our hearts.

In this episode, I share a gentle, three-step practice for letting go of a grudge and setting yourself free.

You’ll learn how to see the situation with objectivity and understanding, hold healthy boundaries, make space for imperfection, and choose forgiveness — not to excuse what happened, but to release the heaviness you’ve been carrying.

Because when we learn to meet hurt and resentment with awareness and skill, it doesn’t break us, it awakens us.

Resources & Links:

Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable calm and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Most of us carry around far more mental baggage than we need to.Old resentments. Grievances. Self-judgment. Worries that loop endlessly.

These mental burdens weigh us down. They steal our energy, fuel stress and negativity, and keep us from feeling the freedom and peace that are already here.

In this episode, I share a simple but powerful practice: drop one burden.

We’ll look at how to notice the mental baggage you’ve been carrying, how to discern what’s useful from what’s just rumination, and how to set down what no longer serves you.

Even dropping just one burden can create a surprising sense of ease and lightness. And over time, this practice opens up more space for peace, joy, and wholeness in your daily life.

Resources & Links:

Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable calm and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Have you ever noticed how much your beliefs shape the way you experience the world? Those beliefs form our paradigms. And when a paradigm is unhelpful. When it keeps us stuck in stress, cynicism, or old habits — it quietly limits how we live. The good news is: we can shift them.

In this episode, I’ll share a simple four-step process for creating a paradigm shift. You’ll learn how to:

Recognise the beliefs that are holding you back.

Question them with openness and curiosity.

Try on more empowering, life-giving perspectives.

Practice them until they become second nature.

These small steps can lead to profound changes — not just in how you see the world, but in how you show up in it.

Resources & Links

🌿 Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

📖 My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable strength and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

It’s easy to be kind when others treat us kindly. The real test is when someone hurts, disappoints, or lets us down. In those moments, our instinct is often to lash out, blame, or retaliate — and before we know it, we’re caught in cycles of hostility that leave us depleted.

In this episode, I invite you to practice what I call loving back bigger. It doesn’t mean being a pushover. Sometimes we absolutely need to set boundaries, speak up, or stand our ground. But it does mean learning how to do those things without losing ourselves in reactivity, resentment, or hatred.

Together, we’ll explore how to:

Remember the shared humanity in those who hurt us.

Release blame and reactivity, even when it feels justified.

Stay true to your own values instead of being dragged down into the behaviour of others.

Even the smallest steps toward loving back bigger can restore your own peace of mind and free you from cycles of anger.

Resources & Links

Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable inner strength: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Life is full of ups and downs. Moments of joy, moments of struggle, moments of everything in between. We can’t always control what happens, but we can learn to meet it all from a deeper place of steadiness and calm.

In this episode, I share five simple yet powerful habits for cultivating inner peace. From meditation to everyday mindfulness practices, each one helps us return to presence, release resistance, and reconnect with the wholeness that’s always within us.

These are not complicated techniques. They’re small shifts. Things you can begin today that, over time, weave more peace, wisdom, and fullfillment into the fabric of your life.

You’ll also hear a story of a Zen master whose mantra points us to a radical kind of acceptance, one that transforms how we relate to life itself.

Resources & Links

Free guided meditations and a 10-day mindfulness course to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

But what is wisdom exactly? And how do we bring wisdom into our everyday lives?

In this episode, we’ll explore together:

A clear and practical way of understanding what wisdom actually is (and what it isn’t)

How wisdom helps us move beyond stress, fear, and survival patterns into greater calm, clarity, and connection

'The Seven Strengths of the Deep Self' and how they can guide your life.

Three simple ways you can begin cultivating wisdom today

This isn’t about abstract philosophy. It’s about rediscovering a deeper intelligence that’s already within you, and learning how to live from it, for your own peace, your relationships, and even for the wellbeing of the planet.

Resources & Links

My book Deep Resilience — a four step framework for unshakable strength and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

🎧 Free guided meditations to help you connect with your deeper self and start cultivating wisdom today: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

Next Episode

In the next episode, I’ll share some simple ways to weave mindfulness into daily life, so you can return to presence again and again — and let wisdom flow through you.

Ever tried to change a painful pattern — like anxiety, self-doubt, or stress — only to find yourself looping back again and again?

In this episode, Melli shares the surprising missing piece that keeps so many people stuck, why our brains naturally resist change, and a simple practice to help you connect with your inner strength so growth feels easier and more sustainable.

Try this week’s practice: Anchoring Meditation – To Grow Your Inner Resources Click Here https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-care-package-day2/

This meditation has been a game changer for thousands of people around the world, helping them stabilise in calm, strength, and clarity so change flows more naturally.

📖 Learn more in Melli's book Deep Resilience: melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

Have you ever jumped to conclusions about someone—only to later find out you were completely wrong?

Our minds are constantly making assumptions about others, often without us even realizing it. And thanks to our brain’s built-in negativity bias, we tend to assume the worst more than the best.

In this episode, Melli unpacks the subtle mental habit that leads to so much unnecessary conflict, misunderstanding, and disconnection—and how to shift it.

You’ll discover:

Why our brains are wired to fill in the blanks (and often get it wrong)

The surprising consequences of assumption-based thinking

How a small shift in perspective can transform your relationships

A weekly practice to help you stay open, grounded, and connected

This is a powerful episode for anyone looking to strengthen their relationships and build a more peaceful, mindful way of relating to others—and themselves.

🎁 Join the Deep Resilience Experience (starting July 15th!)

A 30-day guided course to reset your mind and build lasting inner strength with short daily lessons, transformative meditations, and live coaching support from Melli.

🌀 Sign up here: melliobrien.com/30daycourse

How often do you catch yourself saying “I can’t”? It might seem small, but this tiny phrase can quietly drain your energy, disconnect you from your values, and leave you feeling powerless.

In this episode, Melli shares how shifting your self-talk from “I can’t” to “I choose not to” can be a game changer for your mindset and emotional well-being. This simple language tweak can help you reclaim your agency and act from a place of clarity and purpose.

You’ll learn:

Why “I can’t” reinforces a subtle sense of helplessness

How “I choose not to” reconnects you with your values and power

How to use this practice to uncover limiting beliefs and step into wiser choices

This is a powerful mindset tool for anyone ready to break free from mental loops and start living with more intention.

🧠 Feeling stuck in unhelpful mental patterns?

Join The Deep Resilience Experience — a 30-day guided reset to help you reclaim your inner strength. Just 15 minutes a day of micro-lessons, evidence-based practices, and transformative meditations to rewire your mind in deep and lasting ways.

Starts July 15th. Early bird bonuses end June 30th.

👉 melliobrien.com/30daycourse

When life falls apart—through grief, heartbreak, crisis, or overwhelming stress—it’s easy to feel like everything steady has been stripped away. But even in our hardest moments, there’s something we can always come back to. Something that can anchor us, guide us, and help us rise with clarity and strength.

In this episode, Melli shares one of the most powerful tools for inner resilience: reconnecting with your values.

You’ll discover:

The incredible story of Viktor Frankl and the human freedom no one can take from you

What values really are (and what they’re not)

A two step practice to use connection to your values to stay grounded in times of upheaval

This episode offers a grounded, compassionate reminder:

Even when you can’t control what’s happening around you, you can choose who you want to be in the middle of it.

Links for Further Support:

Calm in Crisis (for times of acute stress or upheaval):

https://melliobrien.com/calm-in-crisis-course/

Unwinding Anxiety (support for ongoing anxiety):

https://melliobrien.com/unwinding-anxiety/

📘 Melli’s Book ‘Deep Resilience’:

https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package:

https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-care-package-signup/

When you’re feeling low, it can seem like the world is grey and unchangeable. But often, the way we think is quietly fuelling the way we feel.

In this episode, Melli explores five common thought patterns that feed depression—and how to shift out of them using a simple, evidence-based tool called Catch It, Check It, Change It.

These patterns—like all-or-nothing thinking, rumination, and emotional reasoning—often run in the background, disguised as truth. But once we learn to see them clearly, we can begin to loosen their grip and reclaim our clarity, resilience, and inner peace.

You’ll discover:

The 5 thought patterns that deepen and sustain depression

Real-life examples to help you spot them in yourself

A 3-step method to shift into a more flexible and helpful mindset

How Melli used these tools to transform her own experience with depression

This episode offers a grounded, compassionate guide to understanding your mind—and gently rewiring it for strength and healing.

Links for further exploration:

Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-care-package-signup/

Melli’s Book ‘Deep Resilience' melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

Do you ever feel like your mind is working against you—spiralling into self-doubt, rehashing the past, or catastrophizing about the future?

You’re not alone.

Our minds are master storytellers—and many of the stories they tell are based in fear, insecurity, or old conditioning.

In this episode, Melli shares a simple, powerful 3-step practice to help you unhook from those unhelpful narratives and return to calm, clarity, and strength.

This isn’t about trying to get rid of negative thoughts. It’s about learning how to change your relationship to them—so they no longer run the show.

You’ll learn how to re-parent your inner dialogue, shift into the wise part of yourself, and guide your mind gently out of suffering and into a more supportive, empowered mindset.

You’ll discover:

🧠 Why your mind acts like a storyteller—and how it “hooks” you into distress and reactivity

🪞 The real reason we suffer isn’t the thought itself—but how we relate to it

🌀 The 3-step “Name It, Tame It, Reframe It” method to shift out of old thought loops

🧘‍♀️ How mindfulness creates space between you and your thoughts—so you can lead with wisdom, not fear

🌿 How to create more mental freedom, emotional resilience, and inner peace—without pushing thoughts away

Whether you’re facing anxiety, stress, or just want a clearer, kinder relationship with your own mind—this episode gives you a practical, evidence-based way forward.

🌟 Mentioned in this episode:

📘 Get your copy of Deep Resilience and access all the free guided meditations and gifts:

https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Have you ever felt like there's a gap between the strength you know is inside you—and the way you actually show up in your life?

That invisible gap is where inner leadership comes in.

In this episode, Melli unpacks what inner leadership really is—and why it may be the missing piece in your mental health, personal development, and spiritual growth journey. You’ll learn how to stop being pushed around by fear, stress and self-doubt—and start leading from the calm, steady centre within you.

This isn’t about getting rid of hard emotions or becoming someone you’re not. It’s about remembering who you truly are—and building a stable inner foundation that helps you meet life with clarity, courage and resilience.

You’ll learn:

🧭 What “inner leadership” really means—and how it differs from traditional ideas of growth

💛 Why so many of us get stuck in survival-mode patterns like people-pleasing, anxiety or self-criticism

🏠 The parable of the two houses—and how it reveals the foundation we often forget to build

🌿 The 3 essential skills that help you shift from reactivity to strength

💡 One powerful practice you can use today to reconnect with purpose in any moment

Whether you’re facing anxiety, navigating change, or simply want to deepen your sense of inner calm and clarity—this episode offers a powerful reframe and a practical path forward.

🌟 Mentioned in this episode:

📘 Join the Unwinding Anxiety Course https://melliobrien.com/unwinding-anxiety/

In a world that often feels fast, loud, and emotionally charged, learning to become emotionally non-reactive is one of the most powerful and healing inner skills we can develop.

In this episode, we explore how the habit of mental resistance—our knee-jerk fight against difficult emotions, anxiety and unwanted life experiences—can keep us stuck in cycles of suffering. You’ll discover how the shift from reaction to response opens the door to peace, clarity, and true emotional resilience.

Through engaging storytelling, psychological wisdom and practical tools, this episode offers a roadmap for working with your emotions instead of against them—so you can stop spiralling and start thriving.

You’ll learn:

🌼 Why resisting difficult emotions fuels anxiety, frustration and burnout

📚 The story of Sue, a client whose journey reveals the power of acceptance

🌿 How to stop reacting and start responding—even when life is really hard

🧘‍♀️ A simple mantra to return to your point of power in any moment

Plus, you’ll hear the unforgettable story of “The Problem with Dandelions”—a metaphor for what happens when we try to control everything we don’t like about our emotional experience. Spoiler: It doesn’t work.

Instead, you’ll walk away with a powerful mindset shift:

Acceptance isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

And it’s your doorway to emotional freedom.

🎧 Tune in now and learn how to meet the challenges of life with flexibility, calm, and clarity.

🌟 Mentioned in this episode:

📘 Join the Unwinding Anxiety Course https://melliobrien.com/unwinding-anxiety/

7 days of guided practices + 7 live coaching calls + lifetime access

👉 https://www.cnbc.com/2019/05/06/stanford-researchers-says-30-minutes-of-complaining-makes-you-dumber.html

💌 Free Deep Resilience Care Package

10 bonus meditations, mindfulness tools + a 10-day mindfulness course

👉 https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

In an age of infinite noise, what if the most radical act is reclaiming your own mind?

In this episode, we explore how to take back your attention from the forces that seek to hijack it—and why doing so isn’t just a wellness practice, but a deeply empowering and even spiritual one.

You’ll discover how modern algorithms are designed to exploit your ancient brain wiring—fueling distraction, anxiety, and disconnection—and how being unaware of this can quietly pull you away from your values, your joy, and your peace.

Drawing from psychological research, mindfulness wisdom, and a personal story from a pivotal moment in Melli’s own journey, you’ll learn why reclaiming your “inner algorithm” is like coming home to yourself—and how simple daily practices can help you realign with clarity, strength, and presence.

If you’ve been feeling scattered, overstimulated, or distant from what really matters, this episode offers a grounded, heartful path forward.

🎧 Tune in to learn how to reset your mental environment, honour your values, and live from a place of intention in a distracted world.

Key Links:

📩 Newsletter – Get invites to free live meditations, tools + updates:

https://melliobrien.com

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package – My gift to support your inner strength:

https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

📚 The Book – Deep Resilience – A four-step journey to unshakable inner strength:

https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

📖 The Distracted Mind by Adam Gazzaley & Larry D. Rosen – Science behind why attention gets hijacked:

https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262034944/the-distracted-mind/

🎙️ The Social Dilemma – A powerful documentary on the attention economy:

https://www.netflix.com/title/81254224

In today’s world, the pressure to constantly improve, perfect, and get somewhere can feel endless. We’re told that happiness lives just beyond the next achievement, the next version of ourselves. But what if that destination... doesn’t exist?

In this episode, we explore the philosophy of no destination—a mindset shift that brings immediate peace and long-term resilience. Through powerful storytelling, practical mindfulness wisdom, and insights from modern psychology, you’ll learn how the endless striving to be “better” can actually create suffering—and how self-acceptance can offer true freedom.

You’ll discover:

Why the belief that “I’ll be okay when…” fuels stress, anxiety, and self-criticism

The psychological research linking self-discrepancy to depression and burnout

A Zen teaching that beautifully reveals the trap of over-efforting

A simple practice from Thich Nhat Hanh to anchor you in the present moment

A powerful reminder that peace isn’t out there—it’s available right here, right now

If you’ve been feeling behind, worn out, or like you’re not enough yet, this episode will meet you with deep compassion—and remind you that there’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to arrive. You’re already home.

🎧 Tune in now to reconnect with your inner peace and remember what truly matters.

Key Links

📩 Newsletter – Get invites to free live meditations, tools + updates:

https://melliobrien.com

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package – My gift to support your inner strength:

https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

📚 The Book – Deep Resilience – A four-step journey to unshakable inner strength:

https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

📖 Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff – The science behind self-acceptance:

https://self-compassion.org

📖 The Culture of Counter-Culture by Alan Watts – A radical reflection on the meaning of life:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/556038.The_Culture_of_Counter_Culture

What if the single most powerful skill in difficult times… isn’t having all the answers, but learning to ask better questions?

In this episode, we explore how curiosity can transform the way we meet uncertainty, anxiety, and life’s inevitable challenges.

You’ll discover why the brain defaults to overthinking or avoidance when life feels unstable—and how curiosity interrupts that cycle, helping us reconnect with clarity, calm, and possibility.

Drawing from fascinating research at Harvard and Penn State, you’ll learn how curious minds experience lower anxiety, more flexibility, and greater resilience. I’ll also share a personal story from an unpredictable river kayaking trip that changed the way I meet life’s rapids—both literal and emotional.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stuck in spirals of fear or doubt, or craving a healthier way to navigate uncertainty, this episode will give you simple tools to pause, inquire, and move forward with strength and wisdom.

🎧 Tune in to discover how curiosity can become a steadying force in uncertain times—and how to start practicing it today.

Key Links:

📩 Newsletter – Get invites to free live meditations, tools + updates:

https://melliobrien.com

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package – My gift to support your inner strength:

https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

📚 The Book – Deep Resilience – A four-step journey to unshakable inner strength:

https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

📖 Curious Minds by Perry Zurn & Dani Bassett – The science of curiosity and connection

https://press.princeton.edu/books/hardcover/9780691243960/curious-minds

What if the way you think about life… actually changes how life feels?

In this episode, we explore the science of The Expectation Effect—the powerful way your beliefs and assumptions shape your mind, your body, and your outcomes.

Drawing from David Robson’s groundbreaking research and real-life stories, I’ll show you how your brain filters the world based on what it expects to find—and how this can either create self-fulfilling defeat… or open the door to resilience, clarity and strength.

You’ll learn how everyday expectations—about relationships, work, your own capabilities—can literally impact your biology and perception. And I’ll walk you through the practical ways you can begin working with this effect, instead of being unconsciously shaped by it.

If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, negative spirals, or feeling stuck in stressful patterns, this episode will help you understand why—and what to do about it.

🎧 Tune in to discover how to shift your expectations to shift your life—from the inside out.

Key Links:

🚀 The Calm in Crisis 5-Day Course STARTS IN 48 HOURS – Tools to stay steady, strong and mentally clear in uncertain times:

https://melliobrien.com/calm-in-crisis-course/

📖 The Expectation Effect by David Robson – The science behind how our beliefs shape our reality:

https://www.davidrobson.me/the-expectation-effect

Why We’re Facing a Global Mental Health Crisis – and How to Avoid Falling Prey to It

Life feels heavy right now—and for good reason. With rising rates of anxiety, burnout, loneliness and overwhel

m, many of us are wondering, “Is it just me?”

In this episode, I unpack the deeper roots of the global mental health crisis we’re living through. From the impact of technology and the pace of modern life, to the cultural values that are pulling us away from what truly matters—I’ll explore why so many of us are feeling off-centre… and what we can do to find our way back.

You’ll discover three powerful yet simple ways to stay connected to your inner steadiness, even when the world outside feels uncertain. These shifts are about going against the grain, tuning into your own wisdom, and coming back to presence, purpose and real connection.

If you’ve been feeling tired, off-track or a little lost lately, this one’s for you.

🎧 Tune in to reconnect with what truly supports your wellbeing—from the inside out.

Key Links:

🚀 The Calm in Crisis 5 Day Course – Tools to stay centred in hard times: https://melliobrien.com/calm-in-crisis-course/

📩 Newsletter – Get invites to free live meditations, tools + updates: https://melliobrien.com

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package – My gift to support your inner strength: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

📖 The Book – Deep Resilience – A four-step journey to unshakable inner strength https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/

Matt Killingsworth research and TED talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy5A8dVYU3k

Lost connections book, Johann Hari: https://www.amazon.com.au/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-

The Most Powerful Question You Can Ask in Hard Times.

When life gets overwhelming, it’s easy to feel lost in the chaos of our thoughts and emotions. But there’s one powerful question that can shift everything.

In this episode, I’ll share how this simple question can bring clarity, calm and empowerment in the middle of life’s toughest moments—and how it’s the foundation of real resilience.

You’ll learn a tool to identify unhelpful patterns, gently reset your inner state, and come back to what you can control: your response.

If you’re feeling stuck, stressed or struggling, this episode will help you ground, reflect and reconnect with your strength.

🎧 Ready to relate to life with more clarity and calm? Tune in now.

Key Links:

🚀 The Calm in Crisis 5 Day Course: https://melliobrien.com/calm-in-crisis-course/

🔗 Melli O’Brien – Sign up to my newsletter for free live meditations, invites and more https://melliobrien.com

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

📖 The Book – Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

True Resilience Is Not What You Think

So many people think of resilience as being mentally 'well' or tough, holding it all together, or pushing through no matter what. But in this episode, I’m sharing why that’s not just a misunderstanding—it’s a dangerous misconception.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing when you’re struggling, or stuck in a label like “not coping” or “mentally unwell,” this episode is for you.

We’ll explore what true resilience really is (and what it’s not), why you’re not broken if you’re feeling overwhelmed, and how to relate to your mental and emotional states in a way that brings more calm, clarity, and inner strength.

I’ll also share powerful insights from both modern research and timeless wisdom traditions and some great free tools to help you reconnect to your resilience this week.

🎧 Ready to rethink resilience and return to your steady centre? Tune in now.

Key Links:

🚀 The Calm in Crisis 5 Day Course: https://melliobrien.com/calm-in-crisis-course/

🔗 Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com (sign up to my newsletter to be notified of free live calls this month)

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Find Your Ground: A Practice for Calm and Clarity in Chaos

In hard times, our minds often race, and emotions run high. So much of this stress comes not from our circumstances, but from our refusal to accept them. In this episode, I share a foundational tool for letting go of stress and mental clutter, and reconnecting to inner calrity and calm so we can handle our challenges more effectively.

I’ll share a simple metaphor that illustrates the shift from resistance to presence, and offer gentle steps to help you practise this in real life.

🎧 Ready to find peace with what is? Tune in now.

Key Links:

🚀 The Calm in Crisis 5-Day Course: https://melliobrien.com/calm-in-crisis-course/

🔗 Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

In this episode, I explore why we feel so much pressure to be better than average—and why that pressure is actually making us unhappy. Our culture teaches us that to be valuable, we need to be exceptional. But the truth is, this drive to be special is one of our biggest blocks to true fulfilment. Fulfillment comes not from standing out, but from embracing the richness of ordinary life.

I’ll share why this drive for significance is so hardwired into us, how research from psychologist Tim Kasser reveals that pursuing materialism and status doesn’t lead to happiness, and why the courage to be ordinary might be the key to feeling whole.

Plus, you’ll learn practical steps to break free from the achievement trap—so you can continue to grow and succeed, but from a place of true confidence and self-worth rather than lack, fear and self-doubt.

🎧 Ready to stop chasing and start feeling whole? Tune in now.

Key Links:

🔗 Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

📖 The Book – Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

🚀 The Deep Resilience Experience – 30-Day Course: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-experience

In this episode, I’ll share a simple yet powerful practice to help you shift from self-criticism to self-compassion in your relationship with your body.

Profoundly healing and deeply transformative, body appreciation practice can return you to your innate sense of worthiness and enoughness. By letting go of the mental stories that tell us we need to be "fixed," we create space for a new way of being and living. Operating more from a place of love rather than lack. 🎧 Ready to see what this practice can offer you? Tune in now! 🌿

Key Links:

🔗 Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

📖 The Book – Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

In this episode, I’ll share a simple yet powerful practice to help you navigate sadness with mindfulness and self-compassion. Instead of pushing difficult emotions away or feeling overwhelmed by them, learn how to meet sadness with awareness, care, and wisdom.

By shifting from resistance to understanding, you’ll discover how to tune into your emotions, recognize your needs, and take empowered action to support yourself. 🎧 Ready to transform sadness into a source of clarity and resilience? Tune in now! 🌿

Key Links:

🔗 Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

📖 The Book – Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

In this episode, I’ll share a simple yet powerful practice to help you let go of resistance and meet life with more ease and peace. Instead of struggling against reality—wishing things were different or clinging to control—discover how to release tension and embrace the flow of life.

By shifting your focus from struggle to strength, you’ll cultivate greater freedom, resilience, and inner peace. 🎧 Ready to stop fighting life and start flowing with it? Tune in now! 🌿

Key Links:

🔗 Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

📖 The Book – Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

In this episode, I’ll share a simple yet powerful practice to shift from self-defeat to self-compassion. Learn how to quiet your inner critic, break free from negative thought loops, and build resilience in the face of challenges.

By changing the way you relate to mistakes and struggles, you can cultivate strength, confidence, and inner peace. 🎧 Ready to let go of self-judgment and move forward with self-kindness? Tune in now! 🌿

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

The book: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book

In this episode, I explore the transformative power of meeting mistakes with a tranformative practice that shifts negative thinking into courage, curiosity, and a commitment to growth. Learn how to shift your mindset from self-criticism to self-improvement with a simple tool you can take with you and use for the rest of your life.

Discover how this mindset shift not only reduces stress and self-doubt but also unlocks rapid personal growth, wisdom, and well-being. By embracing mistakes as stepping stones, you’ll begin to realize your full potential. 🎧 Ready to let go of self-judgment and start thriving? Tune in now! 🌟

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get the Deep Resilience book on Amazon here https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0DWTBWHNX

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Want to see how a small mindset tweak can change everything? Tune in and let’s piece it together. 🎧🧩 as we shift out problems into puzzles.✨Let’s get started.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

In this episode, I share a simple, playful hack to flip the script: Instead of letting self-doubt stay in the drivers seat, respond with to it with a powerful defusion technique (a way of unhooking from thoughts) that helps you adopt a mindset of flexibility, curiosity and empowerment.

When you retrain your mind to meet self-doubt with curiosity, humor, and determination, it transforms from a roadblock into a powerful stepping stone to personal growth. Ready to shift your mindset and unlock inner strength? Let’s go!

🎧 Tune in now – and emerge stronger, wiser and happier.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

However, if anger is suppressed or not expressed in a healthy way, it can lead to all kinds of regrettable situations. In this podcast episode I explain the difference between toxic anger and healthy anger and how you can bring the wisdom of healthy anger into your life.

Key Links and notes:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

In this episode I share the science around what researchers have dibbed 'the beautiful mess effect' and give you some tips to embrace the beautiful mess effect and get the support, connection and resilience you need when navigating messy times.

Key Links and notes:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Waitlist for the deep resilience experience course release (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called headstrong https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/ here )

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

In this episode I share a three step method to navigate our dilemas in a more empowering way and maintain greater freedom and peace of mind on the way to finding our answers.

Key Links and notes:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Waitlist for the Deep Resilience Experience course release (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called Headstrong https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/ here)

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

And when we get hooked by self-doubt narratives it can crush our confidence, lower our self-worth, hold us back from the things we really care about and make us feel anxious and depressed.

So how can we overcome it? In this episode, I share a three-step method to overcome self-doubt so that you can follow your dreams, achieve your goals, perform at your best and enjoy life more fully.

Key Links and notes:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Waitlist for the Deep Resilience Experience course release (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called Headstrong https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/ here)

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Research shows that overthinking is linked to mental illnesses such as clinical depression and anxiety. Simply put, overthinking is not a useful mental habit. It hurts and hinders us.

So how can we overcome it? In this episode, I share a simple practice you can use to shift overthinking into a more empowering, helpful and skillful way of thinking.

Key Links and notes:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Waitlist for the Deep Resilience Experience course release (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called Headstrong https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/ here)

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

However, when I am able to show them how to transform their relationship to these thoughts there is a huge sense of relief and release and renewed confidence.

In this episode of Deep Resilience I walk you through three foundational tools to start to approach your dark thoughts in more adaptive, helpful and life-affirming ways so you can find relief from stress and suffering and find greater freedom and peace of mind.

Key Links and notes:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Learn meditation at mindfulness.com (I have a 10 and 30-day course on there you can take).

Waitlist for the Deep Resilience Experience course release: (currently the waitlist is on our old course page called Headstrong) https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

*Notes from the episode: Three steps

-Let go of any judgment

-Make room for them. Allow them to be there

-Change your relationship to thoughts

Often in my work with clients, I find that, if we explore closer we usually find that they are not stuck, their thoughts are. in other words, their mind is telling them ’stuck' stories. Telling them they cannot cope, telling them there’s no way through an obstacle, telling them they have or will fail, it’s hopeless, they will never be the same.

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I walk you through the tools to let go of unhelpful thoughts that keep you stuck and show you simple ways to meet what is arising with more flexibility, resilience and creativity.

Key Links and notes:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

**Questions from the episode

Am I approaching this problem with a helpful intention, a helpful state of mind? If not, what can I change?

What would be a few different possibilities to move forward or find a new way through?

What would I do here if I wasn't afraid at all?

What's something I haven't thought of yet that could make this better?

What matters to me in this situation deep in my heart? What is the most important thing? (take actions toward that most important thing)

Am I being totally honest with myself about everything that's happening to me in this situation? (am I stuck or scared?)

Sometimes we might keep carrying a resentment for weeks, months or years. What we don’t realise is that resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person suffers. It’s us who carries the hate, the ill will, the bitterness, the grudge.

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I walk you through four steps to let go of resentment: Understanding, acceptance, accountability and forgiveness.

By releasing resentment towards another you find peace and strength in yourself.

Key Links and notes:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

**The forgiveness phrase you can say to yourself from the episode: “I forgive you, I will hold no hostility in my heart, I wish you well.”

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I encourage you to try five tips to strengthen your bonds with loved ones and improve the quality of your relationships so that they flourish, thrive and add more fullness, richness and love to your life

They are:

Quality Time

Effective Communication

Learning Conflict Resolution Skills

Express Appreciation

Honor Individuality

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

We live in a culture that devalues wisdom and emphasises materialism, individualism and independence. A culture that has an almost shameful view of dependence on others and the web of life.

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I encourage you to accept the truth of interdependence, challenge the status quo view, come into harmony with the way life is and tap into the deeper wisdom and strength within you.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

But if we can find our point of power in stressful times, research shows that we can let go of overwhelm and navigate forward with more calm, confidence and inner strength.

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I walk you through the two-step process of finding your point of power in any situation allowing you to feel more centered, act more effectively and find peace in the middle of it all.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I encourage you to separate your actions from your identity, consider the situation from all angles and question the validity of the negative narratives that emerge. By fostering an objective, depersonalised approach, you can begin to tease apart guilt from shame and move forward with greater strength, wisdom and empowerment.

Key Links:

Transforming Guilt into Wisdom: https://open.spotify.com/episode/05Ljm6m26pgyu7OBo63YEl

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

The paradox still exists today. The latest renewable energy technologies are not resulting in a decrease in climate change for instance. I think this same principle applies to our desire to make a better life for ourselves. Today, the latest ideas on how to be better and have a better life (look better, get richer, have more and better stuff, achieve more success) can lead to unintended consequences.

It turns out that pursuing ever-more activities designed to make ourselves and our lives better often leads us to feel greater stress, dissatisfaction and disconnection with the things that truly matter.

The problem isn’t the actual technology or wanting to make positive changes. The problem starts within, with a simple mindset shift. In this episode, I offer a way to counter the Jevons paradox and become more self-aware, genuinely happy and authentic.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

In this episode of the podcast I offer you a helpful three step framework to help you identify your emotions and the reasons behind them clearly. Then communicate them in a way that defuses defensiveness and fosters understanding, mutual respect and helpful outcomes.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I share some “not-normal” aspects of myself that I once struggled with but now embrace. I invite you to identify the conflicts between who you are and your idea of who you’re supposed to be and bring them into the light. By breaking out of the tight box of “normal” and the judgments it imposes, you can step into your uninhibited self-expression and cultivate compassionate understanding, which can then be extended to others.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I present five invaluable strategies to foster an affirming and grounding approach to life's changes, big or small. Wherever you currently find yourself, I encourage you to explore how these concepts can be applied broadly to enhance your overall wellbeing and state of mind.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package 

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I elucidate the crucial difference between guilt and shame and the importance of separating who you are from your actions. I guide you to investigate the emotion with empathy and transform the experience from disempowerment into one of motivation, inner strength, and mental clarity.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I share four key questions to ask yourself in times of grief to promote nourishment and self-compassion. Reflecting on your answers will illuminate potential unmet needs and guide you in taking nurturing action, however small, to care for yourself and replenish your strength.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I touch upon expert Dr. Gabor Maté’s insights about the nature and dynamics of trauma. I invite you to begin an unburdening process of recognition and reconnection with yourself, and introduce various evidence-based therapeutic modalities for more supported healing. 

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package 

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I expand on last week’s episode and offer practical steps you can take right now to protect your wellbeing and strengthen your bonds with others. I introduce a three-step framework to clarify the cause of loneliness in the context of your specific needs and circumstances and transform the experience into one of insight and self-actualisation.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package 

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I clarify the distinction between feeling lonely and simply being alone and tease apart the mental storylines we attach to each. From here, you can create the space to mindfully investigate the feeling and adopt a more skillful and life-affirming approach, fostering a deeper connection with yourself and your needs.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package 

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

As ever-changing and impossible standards permeate our environments and our minds, we can counter ingrained self-criticism by actively practising body appreciation and creating the space to treat ourselves and our bodies with more compassion, acceptance and appreciation.

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I invite you to unhook from negative thoughts and comparisons and contemplate the many ways your body supports and nourishes you as the vehicle through which you experience the world. By shifting your mental dialogue and learning to befriend your body, you can start to find comfort and gratitude within your own skin.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package 

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

Often misconstrued as self-importance, self-indulgence or toxic positivity at the expense of our ability to love and care for others, true self love embraces the coexistence of frustration and understanding, disappointment and compassion, allowing space for each.

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I exemplify how the concept of self love translates to actions that can be incorporated into your day-to-day. Rather than being antithetical to self-improvement, I emphasise how cultivating this valuable skill promotes increased confidence, improved ability to reach your goals, closer relationships and an increase in overall life satisfaction.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package 

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

Cultivating the skill of mindfulness, dropping out of the mind and into awareness, allows us both to unhook from destructive thought cycles and draw upon an enormous reservoir of wisdom, calm and inner strength that already exists within us.

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I introduce the seven qualities of the self that are awakened when we learn to inhabit the present moment and anchor ourselves in a deeper awareness. I guide you through a simple breathing exercise to practise mindfulness, connect with your core self, find a place of wholeness and work towards mental, emotional and spiritual strength.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Free Meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

While these evidence-based techniques offer immense value, they can overlook our deepest wellspring of inner strength as human beings. The Deep Resilience method integrates and enhances these modalities within a four-step framework, adopting a holistic approach and allowing us to tap into our deeper nature and access the innate intelligence of the mind, body and spirit.

In this episode of Deep Resilience, I invite you to try on a different paradigm of human nature and drop into a new depth and richness on this journey of becoming stronger together. I share my personal story that led me to recognize the importance of deep awareness, expanding the horizons and definitions of inner strength while unlocking the power to rise not only to individual challenges but also to collective ones.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Get your free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package 

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

This podcast will help you unlock your own deep resilience. In this way you can use this podcast as your weekly training ground to build inner strength in bite sized chunks, one step at a time.

In each weekly episode of the Deep Resilience podcast Melli O’Brien shares one key insight or skill to help you grow your inner strength, allowing you to reduce your stress, rise to your challenges and unlock greater freedom and peace of mind in the middle of it all.  

After 15 years as an entrepreneur educator and coach in the mental health space and having the blessing of a successful career where her courses, retreats and app helped over 1 million people globally become mentally stronger, Melli created the deep resilience method, a radical new approach that is helping thousands of people remain resilient, empowered and centred even in the face of formidable challenges.

• Announcement of forthcoming changes in the podcast, including a new name which will be reveailed and explained in the first episode of the season.
• 
  
• While the content will remain similar, it will now offer greater value based on feedback received from the audience and new insightsinto mental strength

Hints at what is to come:

• In the new season I’ll be sharing new insights and tips that have been kept under wraps due to new developments going on behind the scenes, including writing my first book set to be released later in the year.
• 
  
• One of those developments was the creation and trademarking of “The Deep Resilience Method,” which I will be taking a deeper dive into throughout the upcoming season.

Gratitude and Acknowledgment:

• Thank you for following the podcast and for all the positive feedback. The first season of the podcast rose to top 5% of all podcasts globally.

Stay tuned for the new season starting very soon. I look forward to continuing the journey together.

But, did you know that showing vulnerability can actually be good for our mental well-being? In this episode, I’m going to share with you some results from research studies that have been conducted on the Beautiful Mess Effect. You might be surprised by what these studies have found.

If you want to know the secret to embracing your imperfections and sharing your vulnerability with others, listen up, because I’m going to give you two useful tips that you can use whenever things get a bit messy in your life.

Melli O’Brien:

https://melliobrien.com/

Join the Mental Strength School: 

https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I introduce you to the Habit Releaser. This useful tool comes from a book titled ‘Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World’ by Mark Williams, an Emeritus Professor of Psychology at Oxford University.

I’ll explain how to use the Habit Releaser by taking simple actionable steps every day to break those habits and start to notice the world around us more. By taking these same steps, you can learn to really enjoy every single moment, whether you spend it on your own or with your family and friends.

Melli O’Brien:

https://melliobrien.com/

Join Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online mental strength training course: 

https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

Join the Mental Strength School: 

https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I encourage you to experiment with shifting your language from ‘have to’ to ‘choose to’. When we connect to a sense of purpose and agency instead of pain and pressure, we remind ourselves that our actions are driven from our values and what truly matters to us, and this can facilitate a profound shift in our attitude, state of being and ultimately our quality of life. 

Melli O’Brien:

https://melliobrien.com/ 

Join Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online mental strength training course: 

https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

Join the Mental Strength School: 

https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I invite you to try a three-step process to bring mindful awareness to your emotions and let them guide you to identify and meet your needs to promote strength and wellbeing. Through treating your emotions as teachers instead of adversaries, you can find calm, compassion and soothing even in the midst of adversity.

Melli O’Brien:

https://melliobrien.com/ 

Join Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online mental strength training course: 

https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

Join the Mental Strength School: 

https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I delve into psychologist Kristen Neff’s research on self-compassion and the body’s threat response, and introduce the self-compassion break practice. I guide you through a mini meditation that can serve as a source of support and strength when needed most, helping you navigate your darkest times with compassion, mindfulness, and gentleness.

Key Links:

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Self-Compassion Break Guided Meditation: https://self-compassion.org/exercise-2-self-compassion-break/ 

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I present two science-backed tips to transform your moments of envy into moments of strength, love and happiness. By reducing exposure to environments, habits and media that stoke the fires of envy within you and embracing Buddhism’s practice of sympathetic joy, you can retrain your mind to operate in ways that foster feelings of gratefulness, abundance, and joy instead of lack, bitterness and hostility.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I touch on the wisdom of the Dalai Lama’s teachings on love and encourage you to shift from comparison to compassion. By letting go of perfectionism and deliberately switching to unconditional appreciation, you can ease tension, resentment and stress and make more space in your life for authentic wholehearted love to flourish

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the ancient teachings and modern neuroscience of the “three brains” and share an incredible tool for decision-making aligned with your values. Harnessing the power of the head, heart and gut, this five-step meditation technique helps integrate intellect, wisdom, and intuition for empowered choices. 

Key Links:

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Head-Heart-Gut Check-In Meditation: https://mindfulness.com/guided-meditation/the-head-heart-gut-check-in?variant=17eb83d7-4bef-4387-b5c6-7674528a11cc

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I invite you to shift your inner dialogue and transform your inner critic into the kind and supportive roommate you deserve, returning your home to a place of safety, relaxation and rejuvenation. Through persistent training in self-compassion and a focus on befriending instead of berating yourself, you’ll discover greater ease, calm, motivation and vitality.

Key Links:

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Podcast: The Link Between Compassion and Success

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/mentally-stronger/id1637748876?i=1000617629337

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2ZouAxNZHUmC4bbhb0PMvn?si=ZPTyVpigQH670keKumKtPg

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explain how cognitive fusion causes us to mistake our thoughts for reality, giving them the power to dictate our actions and emotions. I share an ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) strategy that disempowers unhelpful and painful thoughts and, with regular practice, builds your capacity to unhook from them and bring more lightness, ease and joy into your days.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I break down Covey’s advice and demonstrate practical steps to promote more mindful, non-judgemental and deep listening. When we truly hear and seek to understand others, we set up the conditions for mutual trust, care and respect, making it more likely that, when it's our turn to speak, we’ll be afforded the same courtesy.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I help you distinguish the two feelings and delve into a potential source of persistent feelings of shame. I provide three pointers for healthier handling of both feelings, so you can foster healthier relationships with yourself and others and live in a way that promotes personal growth, happiness, and empowerment.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explain the distinction between healthy desire and clinging, and guide you in identifying what that associated tension feels like in your body and mind. I suggest a practice of softening and shifting focus to love and appreciation, creating space for more magic moments, an increased sense of love and a deeper sense of gratitude in our daily lives.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore Dr. Herbert Benson’s The Relaxation Response, a transition from a state of stress to one of relaxation said to help prevent and compensate for the damage incurred by frequent nervous reactions in our bodies. I provide three exercises that, when practised regularly and deliberately, help you find balance and train your body and mind to naturally default to a relaxed state.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I invite you to let go of the blame game and reclaim your personal responsibility and, in doing so, your power. By grounding yourself in presence, compassion, integrity and acceptance, you can break the cycle of attack and defence and instead promote personal growth, inner peace, and stronger communication and relationships.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I encourage you to first acknowledge and accept the presence of confirmation bias within you. Maintaining that awareness, I invite you to challenge rigid, unhelpful, misleading beliefs and perceptions and instead promote objectivity, openness and curiosity to cultivate a more balanced and unbiased mindset. 

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I highlight the link between self-compassion and three key skills that lead to success. I invite you to meet obstacles with curiosity, courage and tenderness, and shift the inner critic to an inner coach so you can begin to learn from your mistakes with the motivation and confidence to persevere. 

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I outline the emotional toll of holding onto a grudge as well as three steps to see things more objectively, transform hostility into compassion and understanding, and intentionally let go.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course:

https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore how altruism can be expressed in big and small ways, both through specific actions and a general attitude of generosity, empathy, and goodwill. I highlight the strong link between altruism and happiness, its physical health benefits, and the value of repeated practice, both with yourself and others, in bringing improved health, happiness, and overall quality of life.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

The Mental Strength School: https://melliobrien.com/mental-strength-school/

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course:

https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I invite you to make a subtle shift from the pursuit of closure - neat, tidy and final - to the pursuit of healing, embracing the mess, discomfort and uncertainty that comes with it. I share four steps to promote healthy healing, allowing you to live fully in the present even when you carry a bit of pain from the past.

‌

Key Links:

‌Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

On this episode of Mentally Stronger, I build on last week’s episode by taking a deeper dive into the art of difficult conversations and inviting you to work through your own thoughts and emotions first. I walk you through five steps to get clear on your intentions, gain perspective and cultivate a solutions-focused mindset so you can raise concerns and initiate challenging discussions with precision, good will and grace.

Key Links:

Checklist: 5 Steps to prepare for difficult conversations

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I provide a helpful framework, based on the work of psychologist, author and relationship researcher John Gottman, equipping you to have difficult conversations with confidence and effectiveness. With these four simple steps, you’ll be more empowered and authentic in the situations you face, opening the door for more fulfilling relationships, less stress and greater mental strength.

Key Links:

My 4-Step Difficult Conversations Checklist:

https://melliobrien.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/4-Step-Checklist-for-Difficult-Conversations-1.pdf

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I recap the ‘name it to tame it’ technique, a reminder to help you regulate and reduce the intensity of an emotional reaction when triggered. I expand this technique with two additional steps, taking you further from regulation into insight and allowing you to meet moments of reactivity with awareness, curiosity and wisdom to carry into the next.

Key Links

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

More on ‘Name it to Tame it’ in Mentally Stronger episode #31: 

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/mentally-stronger/id1637748876?i=1000608278023 

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3U4yMMp7QPMGnJZYt9dmRx

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I illustrate the once vital function of our primal fears, developed for survival and embedded over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. I share two steps to help you cultivate true, lasting self-worth, unwind from thoughts that tell you you’re not enough and touch down on a place of natural wholeness, confidence and contentment within yourself.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien:

https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course:

https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I introduce some of those tools by first outlining where pain and suffering fit within the primary and secondary dimensions of our present-moment experience. I then guide you through ‘the Tree,’ a grounding mindfulness practice to move you towards greater inner peace and improved mental clarity, creating the space to choose to let go of avoidable suffering, even in the face of unavoidable pain. 

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien: 

https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I share a story that allows you to observe this habit in action, and a hypothetical which demonstrates how negative assumptions can impact our relationships and attitudes toward the people around us, increasing feelings of anger, frustration and resentment. With a helpful example from Brené Brown’s Rising Strong, I invite you to explore how jumping to generous conclusions can cultivate greater understanding, connection and peace.

Key Links:

Melli O’Brien:

https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

More on Negativity Bias in Mentally Stronger episode 02 here:

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/19mXQrn8vSDa4BEeaC7IjH?si=30eIWkv_TVCrxluQigYNag

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/mentally-stronger/id1637748876?i=1000576965173

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explain the neurological relationship between this emotional reactivity and the nervous system, its crucial role in our survival and its implications in our modern daily lives. I share psychiatrist Dan Siegel’s evidence-based ‘name it to tame it’ technique and demonstrate its use to substantially reduce the intensity of an emotion and allow you to find the space to speak wisely, act deliberately and stay cool under pressure.

Key links: 

Melli O’Brien:

https://melliobrien.com.

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course:

https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I help you conceptualise and reflect on your interconnectedness with this unfolding web of life through a metaphor from Author and Philosopher Alan Watts’. I then invite you to develop a regular practice which allows you to tune in to and honour the rhythm and pulse of life and find a greater sense of ease, wisdom and belonging.

Key links:


Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com.


Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course - https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I break down four styles of anger expression - aggressive, passive-aggressive, suppressive and assertive - and invite you to consider which of these rings true for you. If healthy anger has never been modelled to you, it’s easy to default to an unhelpful style. Once you’ve taken that first step of identifying where you fall, you can start to shift into an expression that allows you to healthily and constructively honour and communicate your needs and boundaries. I share three tips to help you do exactly that.

Key links: 

Get the Checklist for Healthy Anger

https://melliobrien.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/Checklist-for-Healthy-Anger.pdf

Melli O’Brien: 

https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course:

https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I highlight the fact that we are always training our minds and invite you to question whether your current practice is benefiting or hindering you. I explain how positive neuroplasticity training harnesses this and aids us to plant seeds of happiness and prune weeds of suffering in our mind’s garden. Finally, I give two ways to practise this in daily life to move closer towards the best, strongest version of yourself and away from entrenched negativity and doubt.

Melli O’Brien:

https://melliobrien.com.

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: 

https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I discuss Dr. Marie Asberg’s concept of the Exhaustion Funnel and some warning signs you can look for to catch when you may be getting a little too close to its edge. I invite you to reflect on the things that nourish and energise you - time with loved ones, physical movement, a favourite hobby, you name it - and identify three fundamental activities or care tasks you can prioritise in daily life that allow you to grow, stay mindful and thrive.

Key links: 

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com.

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course - https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I share a powerful metaphor that demonstrates a simple and effective “thanks, but no thanks” approach to disidentify with storylines that hold us back. I suggest some questions you can ask to help challenge and detach from those stickier thoughts and reclaim a sense of inner strength, clarity and freedom.

Key links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Join the waitlist for Headstrong, Melli's 8-week online training course: https://melliobrien.com/headstrong-program/

These situations could be examples of prioritising stories over facts.  

If you’re left with $2, maybe you sit thinking about how you’re terrible with money and you’ll always struggle when, the simple fact is just that you have $2. 

When a date stands you up or fails to reply, you could be left thinking that you’ll always be alone, you’re unattractive or that your date hates you. But, the fact is, they simply haven’t contacted you yet. 

If we look at challenging events in our lives at face value, we can save ourselves stress, worry and anxiety and build towards a future of greater mental strength. 

On this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the importance of seeing the differences between facts and stories.  

Facts about our lives are often coloured by our beliefs, judgements and experiences. But sometimes we need to get back to the bare bones of the situation and approach our problems objectively. 

Key links: 

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

These days there are so many things fighting for our attention that it can be a challenge to decide what to focus on.

We are constantly bombarded by “mental junk food” while scrolling on our phones, flicking through magazines or surfing the internet.

Like actual junk food, consumption of too much “mental junk food” can be damaging to our minds.

On episode 24 of Mentally Stronger, I explore the idea of an attention diet.

This idea allows you to experiment with what works for you and what doesn’t. But, what it boils down to is consuming less “junk” content – for instance through mindless scrolling or half-watching TV – and rather consuming more nutritional and uplifting information.

I hope you find this useful.

Key links:

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com
• Mark Manson on the Attention Diet idea: https://markmanson.net/how-to-improve-focus#goals

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I discuss how mindfulness can help you prevent negative thoughts, worries, self-doubts and resentments from becoming repeated patterns. 

For many of us, it’s the greatest threat to our mental strength, but if we have the tools, we’ll find the resolve and strength to beat those patterns.

Here, I share the STOP method, a tool to help utilise mindfulness and move away from the negative thoughts that sap your mental strength. 

Key links: 

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com 

It’s a question I get asked a lot when I'm teaching retreats and courses, so I wanted to explore the idea of thought suppression more closely. When we try to get rid of negative thoughts, many of us will naturally try to suppress them. But you may have realised by now that this rarely works.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explain what the research says about thought suppression and explore some alternative strategies to help you gain more control over your thoughts.

Key links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Do I stay or do I leave? Do I buy or do I save? Do I take this path or that path?

It can be a real struggle to figure out how to approach these dilemmas without feeling stressed, frustrated or confused. In fact, when we worry too much about these dilemmas, it can make us more puzzled and be pretty destructive.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I share three steps you can use to meet any dilemma with greater mental strength.

I explore ways to approach the problem with compassion and calmness so you can come to a conclusion with clarity and peace of mind.

Key links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

It’s used to describe something or someone that claims to be powerful and threatening but, in actuality, is ineffectual and unable to withstand challenges.

If we take this into the context of our emotions, many fear-invoking thoughts are ‘paper tigers’. They appear threatening on the surface but, as we think about them more or as time goes on, we realise they’re not things worth worrying about.

On this episode of Mentally Stronger I ask, what are your ‘paper tigers’?

Perhaps you catastrophise, playing out unlikely scenarios in your head – like losing your job, losing your partner or finding out you have a terrible illness. Maybe you overthink, asking yourself whether people like you, whether you did something wrong in a situation or whether you’re attractive.

I invite you to welcome these ‘paper tigers’, pause for a moment, take a breath and examine them. Do these thoughts really pose a threat?

Let’s work to find a new, empowering way to think about situations and reclaim our inner strength and calm.

Key links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Maybe, we even want to be seen as better than others. Prettier, more intelligent, more successful or better at something. We all want to feel special.  

But what it all boils down to is…we just want to be accepted. We just want to be loved. 

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore why we humans often find ourselves seeking to impress or compete with our peers, rather than form meaningful connections with them. 

It’s easy for us to act based on extrinsic values and the opinions of others but, here, I offer advice on how we can change that and build strong, powerful connections with other people. By changing our behaviours, we can build trust, authenticity and love and live more fulfilling and meaningful lives. 

Key links: 

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Absorbing advice, teachings and guidance from peers and leaders can, of course, be positive and help us learn. But it’s important to know when this gets too much and stops us from trusting what our own instincts, intuitions and feelings are trying to tell us.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore why it’s so important to be your own authority.

For many of us, it’s a hard-wired habit to ignore our feelings instead of honouring them, maybe through fear or through a desire to impress or fit in with others.

But, today, I explain how accepting, honouring, and acting on our own feelings and instincts is crucial as we navigate the path to greater wisdom and improved mental strength.

Key links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

But, in fact, all emotions we feel serve an important purpose in our lives.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the idea that emotions are our allies – not our enemies.

Emotions are like messengers. They hold valuable information for us about how we can navigate our lives. The most negative feelings can hold the most valuable information about where we need healing.

If we don’t listen to our emotions, we may miss out on opportunities to live our lives more fully, heal our wounds and grow our mental strength.

Key links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

All of us are somewhere on the path toward becoming mentally stronger, and all of us have the potential to reach that satisfying state of greater mental strength. 

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I look at the four main stages we take to become mentally stronger. Plus, I share one of my favourite poems. See what emotions it evokes in you. 

Whichever stage you’re at, it’s OK. It’s all part of a journey that so many of us navigate in our own ways.  

If we keep faith and remain patient and persistent on our journey to greater mental strength, resilience, presence, empowerment, wisdom and non-reaction can become second nature.  

Key links: 

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

Much of our lives are in pursuit of material goals and achievements like salary, job title, educational achievements and so on. While these things are great goals to have, if we want to find more meaning in our lives, we must not only pursue our “resume virtues,” but also focus on “eulogy virtues” as well. 

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the difference between resume and eulogy virtues and how the latter can help us live a life of greater meaning. I also explore some simple steps you can try today to start living more closely aligned to your eulogy virtues.  

Listen to learn: 

• What eulogy and resume virtues are 
• The different effects of focusing on resume vs. eulogy virtues 
• Why we often overlook eulogy virtues 
• Three steps for living more closely aligned to our virtues  
• Why resume virtues aren’t wrong, they just shouldn’t be your sole focus  

Key links: 

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com 

Toxic positivity is a term used to describe an unhealthy fixation with positive thinking styles and pleasant emotional states.  

Someone caught up in toxic positivity may try to be happy all the time, put positive spins on negative experiences, and even encourage others to remain positive in tragic and traumatic times. While this sounds like a good thing in principle, it can prevent us from healing and growing.  

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the implications of toxic positivity and share my four ways to avoid it in your own life and have a healthier emotional expression.  

Key links: 

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

What we don’t often realise is the significant impact of the words we choose to use. These words make a huge impression on our moods, other people’s moods and even our health.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I look at how changing our language, both within our self-talk and when we talk to others, can really transform us mentally and help us be kinder, more compassionate people.  

Listen to learn: 

• How your thoughts impact your mind and body 
• What language can do to your moods 
• How styles of thinking link to immunity 
• About shifting your focus to helpful ways of thinking or speaking 

Key links: 

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com 

Sometimes we can feel targeted or angered when things don’t go our way or when a person we love doesn’t do what we expect of them. But cultivating self-compassion, curiosity and compassion for other people can help.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore how we can take a step back and become calmer and less reactive when these things happen.

More often than not, things we take personally are the result of a number of causes and conditions which nobody can control.

When a shop clerk comes across as rude, somebody cuts you up on the road or your partner forgets to take out the garbage, it’s hard to remember it’s not personal. But follow the steps in this episode and you can lead a more compassionate, calm and less reactive life.

But how much of that is really true?

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I ask: “How are you defining success?”

It’s important to remember that we don’t have to buy into the idea that material wealth and individual achievement are what make us successful. We can determine our own goals and motivators to personify what we believe success to be.

Watch to learn:

• How chasing material wealth can lead to anxiety and depression
• Why chasing this type of happiness causes us to push happiness away
• How to retrain your idea of success
• Excellent findings from Tim Kasser’s research (linked below)

Key links:

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com
• Tim Kasser's research: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167213484586
• Tim Kasser’s book: https://www.amazon.com/High-Price-Materialism-Tim-Kasser/dp/026261197X

But is our worthiness really in our behaviours and what others think of us?

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the best ways to cultivate true self-worth and look at how, turning the pattern of seeking external validation on its head, can transform feelings of self-acceptance.

Practicing mindfulness and switching our focus can really help us let go of looking outside of ourselves for worthiness and begin to cultivate it from within.

Listen to learn:

• How to accept and love yourself unconditionally
• That we’re all inherently worthy
• Why cultivating true self-worth doesn’t prohibit self-improvement
• Two ways to cultivate true, lasting self-worth right now

It’s no surprise that negative questions like these result in bad feelings. We can end up feeling disempowered, anxious, angry, or depressed.

However, I want to share with you a simple but powerful mental strength hack. And that is learning to control the focus of your mind by asking better questions.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I explore the effects of bad internal questions and how we can reframe our thoughts to ask better ones to build up our mental strength.

Listen to learn:

• Examples of common bad questions we ask ourselves
• Why our internal questions shape our inner dialogue
• Why asking better questions can help us through challenging times
• Better questions you can start asking yourself

Key links:

Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com/

This practice helps us to zoom out from whatever negativity we’re focusing on at that moment, to see a wider perspective and create some much-needed mental space. I explain how to get started with the practice and the simple yet important benefits it can bring.

Listen to learn:

• Why we need to create mental space
• How the “when in doubt, zoom out” practice works
• How to get started
• Ways to broaden your mindful awareness

Key links:

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

It’s not about becoming something better. It’s about knowing ourselves more deeply and becoming ourselves more fully.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I talk about my journey and what led me to where I am today. Plus, I share two of the important things I have learned along the way that have made the most profound difference in my life. 

Listen to learn:

• Why finding mental strength is not a perfection project
• What led me to teaching mindfulness
• The key to real happiness
• How pain in life is inevitable, but suffering is optional

Key links

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com
• Matt Killingsworth study: https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_killingsworth_want_to_be_happier_stay_in_the_moment?language=en
• My masterclass: https://melliobrien.com/masterclass/

We often find ourselves ruminating over things that have happened and overthinking how we dealt with situations. Many of us also worry about things in the future, like difficult conversations we will have to make, stressful presentations, or maybe our health or relationships.

But letting go of overthinking can bring us a sense of freedom and peace of mind. It’s a great first step towards being more positive and practicing a much healthier alternative – constructive problem-solving.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I’ll be providing you with three steps you can put into action to shift your overthinking to constructive problem-solving instead.

Watch to learn:

• What is overthinking?
• What is constructive problem-solving?
• How to designate ‘office hours’ for problem-solving
• The detrimental effects of overthinking
• The three steps to help you become a constructive problem-solver

Key links:

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com

However, leap forward a few hundred thousand years and our minds tend to do the same thing around moments of hurt, embarrassment and shame, often in a way that isn’t helpful or useful.

So how can we transform this cycle in order to use it in a healthy and helpful way?

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I’ll be sharing a 3-step practice to help you shift the painful and disempowering states of regret into empowering states of resilience, connection to purpose and wisdom.

Listen to learn:

• The part human evolution plays in regret
• How to recognize patterns of regret
• Why “just a spoonful” of regret is helpful
• When to let go of regret
• A concise 3-step practice to transform our relationship with regret

Key links:

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com/

At times, we will feel grief, sadness, anger, remorse, anxiety and a host of other emotions. It’s through these times that we need our mental strength the most.

As human beings, our first instinct when these unpleasant emotions arrive is to either cover them up and distract ourselves or lose ourselves in them completely. However, there is another way that we can face these emotions and move through them in a healthy, life-affirming way.

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I’ll be guiding you through the four-step process known as RAIN. This mindfulness-based practice, which was first developed by Michele McDonald over 20 years ago, is designed to help you work through intense and difficult emotions. 

Watch to learn:

• Ways in which we instinctively deal with difficult emotions
• Why recognizing our emotions is the first important step
• How to accept your difficult thoughts
• Why you should become curious about your emotions
• How to tune in and nurture your negative feelings

Key links

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com/

 Say someone cuts in front of you in a long queue, or someone shows up an hour late for a meeting without an apology. The list of possible scenarios goes on and on, and they can be seemingly big or small issues.

In those moments, it’s natural to jump to a place of anger, among other unpleasant feelings. But anger doesn’t have to be our knee-jerk response. 

In this episode of Mentally Stronger, I’ll be exploring one simple method of reducing conflict in your life – switching your mindset from furious to curious. 

Curiosity offers a different perspective that can diffuse the entire situation and leave you feeling calmer and more in control.

Listen to learn:

• Why conflicts arise
• The mind’s journey from ‘hurt’ to ‘anger’
• The benefits of switching from furious to curious
• Two levels of curiosity
• Why you shouldn’t make snap judgments about the actions of others

Key links:

• Melli O’Brien: https://melliobrien.com/

But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy to stew in a pool of unhealthy thoughts. That’s why this episode of Mentally Stronger is all about tackling negative thoughts in the simplest ways possible.

Join me as I take us back to the roots of this negative thought reflex and share three practical and simple hacks that will keep negativity at bay.

Listen to learn:

• Why negative thoughts are a normal human response
• The biological roots of negative thoughts
• How gratitude can be mentally uplifting
• The benefits of looking at things from a fresh perspective
• Why you should enjoy simple pleasures in life

Key links:

• Melli O’Brien: http://melliobrien.com/

While some self-doubt can be healthy, toxic self-doubt must be combatted. 

In episode one of my brand new podcast, Mentally Stronger, I explore what toxic self-doubt is, why we experience it, and three tactics for overcoming it.

With Mentally Stronger, I’ll be exploring topics related to mental strength and mindfulness by sharing practical tools to train your mind to be stronger, so you can unlock your potential and live a happier life.

Stay tuned for future episodes!

Listen to learn:

• What toxic self-doubt is
• Why we experience it
• Why we should thank our minds
• How to connect with your vision and values
• How to take meaningful action to combat self-doubt

Key links:

• Melli O’Brien: http://melliobrien.com/

As someone who has devoted years to understanding what it means to be mentally strong, Melli O’Brien shares doable, evidence-based techniques that’ll fuel the mind on her show Mentally Stronger.

Are you struggling with anxiety, wondering how to overcome adversity or simply looking for ways to live the best version of your life?If so, then you’re in the right place.

Becoming mentally stronger is more of a marathon than a sprint, so each week this show delivers useful, digestible practices that aim to help you achieve the life you want, all while building your mental strength.