I know I did.

For years, I read book after book thinking I had found the missing piece, only to close it and find myself stuck in the same patterns.

In this episode, I’m sharing five books that genuinely changed how I see myself, my marriage, and what it actually takes to create lasting change.

I walk through:

• The difference between surface-level self-help and principle-based change
• How I stopped seeing myself as powerless in my life and relationships
• What anger and patterns are really trying to show you
• Why shifting your role in a relationship can feel worse before it gets better
• How your past shaped your patterns—and what to do about it now
• What gets in the way of desire and intimacy, and how to better understand it

This episode is really about one core shift: information isn’t what changes your life, application is.

From Insight to Change (Beta)

A small number of 1:1 coaching spots where you’ll choose one book from this episode and get support actually applying it to your life.

If you’ve been doing the work but still feel stuck in the same patterns, this is for you.

4 weeks of coaching (1-hour sessions each week)

$197 total • Limited spots

If you’re interested, email me at robyn@mynameiscourage.com with the subject line “Insight to Change” and include:

• The book you want to focus on
• Where you feel most stuck

If it’s a good fit, I’ll reach out with next steps.

After years of progress, intimacy started feeling difficult again. Not because my partner isn’t safe, but because I was overriding self-trust in the name of progress.

We talk about:

1. Why intimacy can still feel triggering in a healthy relationship
2. How to recognize the difference between growth and overwhelm
3. The role of self-trust in healing sexual trauma
4. What it looks like to stop overriding yourself in the name of progress

If you’re doing the work but still feel stuck when it comes to intimacy, this episode will help you understand why and what needs to shift.

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If this is the kind of work you’re wanting support with, my upcoming couples retreat is designed for exactly this: learning how to create safety, connection, and intimacy without abandoning yourself.

You can find more details HERE

In marriage, most conflict isn’t really about the surface issue. It’s about how each person is relating to themselves.

When your sense of self is tied to how your partner responds to you, reactivity takes over. You either push harder—trying to be heard, understood, or validated—or you collapse into people-pleasing to keep the peace. And both keep you stuck in the same cycle.

In this episode, I’m breaking down:

1. Why you’re more reactive with your partner than anyone else
2. The two core reactive patterns (and how they show up)
3. What “counterwill” is and why pushing creates resistance
4. Why trying to change your partner actually reduces your influence
5. How to step out of the reactivity loop and into real choice

This is the shift that changes everything: moving from reacting to your partner… to choosing who you want to be in the relationship.

Because the strength of your marriage isn’t built on controlling each other—it’s built on each person having a solid sense of self.

If this work resonates and you want support applying it in your relationship, our upcoming couples retreat is designed to help you do exactly that. You’ll learn how to navigate conflict without creating more distance—and how to repair in a way that builds connection.

Learn more about the retreat HERE.

There’s also a partial scholarship available. Apply HERE.

Many of us grow up believing love is something we earn.

If we behave the right way, meet expectations, and avoid disappointing people, we receive love. When we fall short, that love disappears.

But that belief quietly creates resentment in relationships.

In this episode, I talk about the shift that changed how I show up in my marriage. For years I tried to make people feel loved—by sacrificing, giving more, and doing everything right. But when appreciation didn’t come back the way I hoped, frustration built underneath the surface.

We’re talking about:

• Why love often becomes transactional without us realizing it

• How conditional love creates resentment in marriage

• The difference between loving someone and trying to control them

• The relationship skill most couples never learn: tolerating disappointment

Marriage guarantees disappointment. The real skill is learning how to handle it without withdrawing love or punishing each other.

Couples Retreat

Brent and I are hosting a couples retreat at the end of April for couples who want to break old relationship patterns and build something healthier together.

Find more details HERE.

We also offer one partial scholarship for couples who need financial support.

You can APPLY HERE.

In part two of this conversation, Brent and I unpack the exact pattern that kept our conflict on repeat—pressure vs. people-pleasing—and the two skills that finally helped us change it: curiosity and courage. We talk about Terry Real’s idea of practicing the opposite of your default conflict behavior, and why “seeking to understand” only works when it isn’t a sneaky way to win.

You’ll hear the framework that shifted everything for us (the blind men and the elephant), plus a real-life example we’re still practicing: how we navigate a parenting decision we can’t just agree to disagree on (how many school days our kids miss for travel).

If you’re tired of circular arguments, this episode will help you:

1. spot your “default” conflict move (and what it costs you)
2. stay anchored in your perspective without shutting down your partner
3. ask questions that build connection instead of ammunition
4. move from compromise to collaboration—especially in parenting calls

Want support applying this to your relationship? We have a few spots open for our upcoming retreat, and you can also schedule a complimentary 1:1 with Brent and me.

Conflict in marriage is inevitable, but the way you handle it can either build trust or slowly drain the relationship.

In this episode, Brent and I are sharing what conflict looked like over 12 years together… and the patterns that didn’t work: peacekeeping that turned into resentment, arguing to win, shutting down, and trying to “hold space” in a way that left one of us voiceless.

We talk about:

1. Why “we never fight” isn’t the goal
2. How resentment builds when you avoid hard conversations
3. What happens when conflict becomes a debate
4. The “Cinnabon argument” that exposed our losing strategies
5. A real fight from this week and the small shift that helped us repair

This is Part 1 — heavy on how it used to be, and why we stayed stuck for so long.

Come back next week for Part 2, where we’ll share what we’re doing now that’s helping us have healthier conflict, recover faster, and actually feel connected on the other side.

You may be unintentionally reinforcing it.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the criticism–withdrawal cycle that keeps so many couples stuck. The more one partner pushes for what they want, the more the other pulls away, and both end up feeling like the victim.

I share what this looked like in my marriage with Brent, the insight that shifted everything for me, and the three steps to clean up your side of the street without trying to control your partner.

If you’re tired of reacting and ready to show up with integrity, this conversation will give you a clear starting point.

Subscribe to email list

Interested in 1:1 coaching? Schedule free discovery call

Interested in our Couples Retreat: Learn more

It’s survival.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the tension between attachment and authenticity, and how childhood adaptations can quietly shape your marriage today. What helped you survive years ago may now be keeping you disconnected from yourself and from your partner.

We’ll talk about people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and how to stay connected without losing who you are.

If you’re ready to build intimacy that feels safe and honest, this episode will show you where to begin.

Learn more about our couples retreat HERE. Price increases on Feb. 16!

Last week, I shared why setting clear expectations often backfires and creates more resentment than resolution. This week, Brent joins me to bring that concept to life with a real story from our own marriage.

We unpack a big fight over a red light, and how it became a hinge point for shifting out of old dynamics. You’ll hear what it looked like when expectations weren’t met, the frustration that followed, and how we moved toward something more honest, self-authored, and connected.

We talk about:

1. The difference between yielding to pressure vs. making aligned choices
2. Why emotional regulation (not anger or withdrawal) builds real trust
3. What it actually takes to interrupt long-standing patterns, without losing yourself

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of pursuing, distancing, people-pleasing, or silent resentment, this conversation will show you a new way through.

🗓️ Want to learn how to disagree without disconnecting? Our April couples retreat in Bear Lake is your next step. More Details Here

In this episode, I unpack the subtle but powerful shift that happens when expressing a desire turns into demanding agreement, and how this dynamic often stems from deeper wounds, especially for survivors of abuse. You’ll hear how I navigated this in my own relationship with Brent, why healthy disagreement matters, and how to express what you want without losing connection.

If you’ve ever felt dismissed, hurt, or triggered when your partner doesn’t respond the way you hoped, this conversation will offer clarity, compassion, and a more honest path to intimacy.

🔗 Want to explore this work more deeply? Learn about our upcoming couples retreat in April. More Details Here

In this honest, deeply personal episode, Brent joins me to talk about what it was like being the higher desire partner when sex still felt unsafe for me. We share what helped, what didn't, and how important it was that we both stopped masking what we were experiencing in our sexual relationship.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between guilt, pressure, and desire, or if you're navigating sex after abuse in your own marriage, this conversation is for you.

💬 Interested in signing up for the next couples retreat? Find all the details HERE.

If you'd like to talk with Brent and I before deciding, schedule a discovery call HERE.

I talk about the dynamics of mismatched sexual desire and the emotional toll it can take on both partners in very different ways. I’ll also walk you through the difference between sexual desire and intimacy and why the distinction matters.

Whether you're the higher or lower desire partner, this conversation will help you stop pointing fingers (at yourself or your partner) and start reclaiming your personal agency.

🎟️ Curious about our upcoming couples retreat? Get more details HERE. Limited spots available.

I share what shifted in my own healing and marriage when I stopped trying to fix myself and started asking a better question: What do I want? You’ll hear about the powerful concept of “meaningful endurance” and how moving from pressure to personal ownership changed everything for me, especially in intimacy.

If you’ve ever felt like you should be further along, this is the invitation to choose a new approach.

👉 Want first access to our couples retreat details + Valentine’s Day discount? Stay connected, more info coming soon.

Interested in coaching? Get more details HERE.

You’ll learn how trauma can lead us to overcorrect in relationships, why courage and consideration need to coexist, and how to use self-confrontation to rebuild intimacy without losing yourself.

I share personal examples, including a story from my past abuse I’ve never told before, and walk you through the exact questions that help you stop owning what isn't yours or over-defending so you can move toward a healthier relationship.

P.S. If intimacy has felt difficult after trauma, even in a safe and loving relationship, I’m now offering a new online course called Reclaiming Your Sexuality After Abuse, paired with one-on-one coaching. If you’re curious whether it’s a good fit, you can schedule a free Discovery Call with me HERE.

In this episode, I break down the key differences between dysfunction and abuse by looking at patterns of power, fear, and emotional regulation. I also walk you through five common signs that may point to something deeper than conflict, including intensity, volatility, and control dynamics.

You’ll hear personal stories, practical reflection questions, and the turning point that helped me understand my own past relationship more clearly. If this question has been weighing on you, this episode will give you clarity and direction.

If emotional immaturity feels like the core issue and you’re ready to work on it, you can book a free discovery call using THIS LINK. If safety is a concern, I’ve included trusted, trauma-informed resources HERE.

In this real-time breakdown, we share how control shows up in subtle ways in marriage, even when you’re both trying your best. We talk about the tension between autonomy and attachment, the “no, unless” trap that often hides in people-pleasing, and how we each self-confronted to reconnect.

You’ll hear:

• What triggered the argument and how it spiraled
• The exact moment we hit reset and how we did it
• Scripts to move from defensiveness to collaboration
• Why true repair often starts with looking for what truth there is in your partners perception of you

If you’ve ever felt like one of you has to lose for the other to win, this episode will offer a new way forward. One built on mutual respect, honesty, and yes, a little messiness.

✨ Want to go deeper? Join us at our next Couples Retreat — April 23–25 in Bear Lake, Utah. Click HERE for more details.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the essential difference between feeling an emotion and acting on it and why separating the two is at the core of emotional maturity. Whether it’s parenting or marriage, we often justify our reactions based on someone else’s actions. But that pattern erodes trust, safety, and connection.

We’ll talk about:

• Why emotional honesty isn’t an excuse to mistreat others
• How to apologize without justifying harmful behavior
• The subtle way we teach kids to manage our emotions (and how to break the cycle)
• What real emotional maturity looks like in action

If you're ready to stop passing emotional responsibility onto others and start breaking the patterns you were raised in, this one's for you.

✨ Looking for personal support? Book a Discovery Call using this link.

In this episode, I walk you through:

• The real difference between anger and resentment
• Why resentment builds when we wait for our partner to change
• A powerful shift that puts you back in the driver’s seat

You’ll learn how to listen to what your emotions are trying to tell you, how to speak up without sliding into criticism, and how to take action that aligns with your integrity, regardless of how your partner responds.

Ready to stop the resentment cycle and start honoring your own clarity?

✨ For deeper support around emotional responsibility, boundaries, and self-trust in your marriage, visit www.mynameiscourage.com.

At the time, I didn’t know I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I just knew I was constantly anxious, terrified of upsetting him, and couldn’t trust my own gut. I share how this pattern followed me, even into a safe marriage, and what it actually takes to rebuild your inner compass.

You’ll hear:

• What a reflected sense of self looks like in real life
• How emotional abuse distorts your reality
• Why self-trust is essential—and how to start reclaiming it
• The shift that changed my marriage, my motherhood, and my peace

If you’ve ever questioned your reality, withheld something to avoid conflict, or wondered if you were the “crazy one”—this episode will speak to you.

✨ Ready to build a solid sense of self? Book a discovery call to discuss different ways to get support.

In this episode, I share the raw truth about what happens when we give and give, until there’s nothing left. If you’ve been stuck in a cycle of self-sacrificing, shutting down, or quietly resenting your partner while trying to be “the good spouse,” you’re not broken. You’re just in the part of marriage no one warned you about.

We’ll unpack the natural progression every marriage goes through, the real difference between attachment and autonomy, and why learning to regulate yourself (not your spouse) is the key to finding your voice again.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about ownership. And I’ll walk you through the emotional skills that helped me reclaim my sense of self—without blowing up my marriage in the process.

💡 Plus, I’m offering one free coaching session to the first five to schedule HERE as I work toward my ICF certification.

If you would like to explore more resources, visit mynameiscourage.com.

In this episode, I unpack the frustrating truth so many survivors face: you escaped the toxic relationship, but the patterns followed you. I walk through the pendulum swing from self-sacrifice to self-protection, why “not your fault” isn’t the whole story, and how past trauma quietly shapes the way we show up in even the healthiest marriages.

If you’ve found yourself wondering why peace still feels impossible—or why being a “good partner” seems to come at the cost of yourself—this is for you. We’ll explore what true responsibility looks like, how to reclaim your voice without swinging into defensiveness, and the first steps toward the kind of relationship that doesn’t require you to disappear to keep the peace.

🎙️ Plus: I’m offering one free coaching session to the first five to schedule HERE as I pursue my ICF certification.

If you would like to explore more resources, visit mynameiscourage.com.

We were wrong.

In our very first episode, Brent and I (Robyn) open up about the early days of our marriage—what we thought healing would look like, how unspoken expectations fueled resentment, and why even "nice guys" can unintentionally contribute to emotional disconnection after trauma.

We share how past abuse shaped our dynamic (without either of us realizing it), what finally cracked open the truth, and why real intimacy required way more than patience and positivity. If you’ve ever wondered why your marriage still feels lonely—even though you both want it to work—this conversation is for you.

💬 We talk validation vs. intimacy, the role of self-authoring in reclaiming your sexuality, and how facing discomfort led to the emotional safety we craved.

Ready to start building a marriage where you actually like each other again? Head to mynameiscourage.com to learn more about our couples retreats and one-on-one coaching.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood by your partner, or unsure how to break the patterns that keep you apart, you’re not alone. Together, we’ll unpack what healing actually looks like inside a relationship, through real stories, paradigm shifts, and practical tools that bring clarity, hope, and lasting change.

Sometimes, my husband Brent joins me for real conversations about our own journey from dysfunction to deep intimacy, because getting here took both of us choosing growth, again and again.

This podcast will help you unlearn false beliefs about love, discover emotional safety, and take your next step toward the marriage you’ve always wanted.

LAUNCHING NOVEMBER 21, 2025