Oh No! Lit Class

99: RJ Fails the Voight-Kampff Test

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 02:30:00 -0500

Megan and RJ are back (again)! And they swear it's really them and not a couple of criminal deviant androids. For real, they pinky-promise and everything. Join us for Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and discover the shame of electric pet ownership, the power of robo-snatch, and fun existential pranks to play on your friends.

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98: It's Not Easy Being the Green Knight

Oh No! Lit Class — Tue, 28 Dec 2021 04:00:00 -0500

Um, hey, how's it going? Megan and RJ return from the void to bring you Sir Gawain and The Green Knight, a poem from Arthurian legend full of fun and games, including "Decapitation with Friends," "I'll Hunt and You Kiss," and "Please Have Sex with Me While My Husband is Gone." Megan gets accused of Horse Essentialism, RJ gets in touch with his inner Muppet, and Sir Gawain jizzes on a belt. Like, a lot.

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97: How the Grinch Got Cancelled

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 25 Mar 2021 03:30:00 -0500

It's one fish, two fish, red fish, racism fish as we dive into the dark underbelly of Dr. Seuss (no, seriously). Learn which of his whimsical rhymes Have Not Aged Well and about his takes on Japanese internment camps, which were just always bad. Also: Sneetch Taint, Ted Cruz Fails to Understand Books for Babies, and why every Dr. Seuss book is better if you scream it in the voice of the guy from There Will Be Blood. I BIGGER YOUR MILKSHAKE, LORAX!

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96: Rent Owes Maya Angelou an Apology (and So Do We)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 01:00:00 -0500

We're blaming Rent: The Musical for mispronouncing Maya Angelou's last name all these years because we can. And because it's just another reason to hate Rent. We're also reading her poetry. That too. Join us and discover Angelou's cable-car aspirations, learn how to dance like you've got diamonds in your pants, endure Bad Takes from old white dude poetry critics, and RJ Goes On A Questionable Tangent About Barack Obama.

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95: The Divine Comedy Part 2: Take a Left at Lucifer's Junk, You Can't Miss It

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 04 Feb 2021 02:15:00 -0500

Happy 4th birthday to us! What did we get ourselves to celebrate? Ah, nothing much, just the epic tale of two pedantic idiots fighting over possession of The Last Brain Cell as they make their dramatic journey to Hell and back (which happens to involve a massive, hemisphere-shaking ween). ...We're talking about Dante and Virgil. Not Megan and RJ. In case that wasn't clear. We DID buy ourselves one of God's Unlimited Pasta Passes though.

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94: The Divine Comedy Part 1: Dante Alighieri - Short, Shredded King?

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 21 Jan 2021 03:00:00 -0500

ON!LC is back and we're taking things in a new direction: straight to hell! Specifically, the Inferno, as we lay out the biography of Dante Alighieri and the historical context for The Divine Comedy in the first of our two-part special. RJ ruins Lord of The Rings Forever, Megan genders some genres, and we decide that 2021 is The Year We Get Cancelled By Italians. We'll see you in hell (in our self-insert fanfic).

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93: Dewey Decimal System? No, We Don’t!

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 24 Dec 2020 07:00:00 -0500

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the 'cast, Megan and RJ had lost it at last. Answering listener questions about which authors to date, and which authors they'd choose to punch authors they hate. Questions about cats, libraries, and more became arguing about maritime law and weird porn. And if you're feeling the year-end blues, just remember that Zora Neale Hurston pegged Langston Hughes.

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92: Grogu in Wonderland

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 10 Dec 2020 07:00:00 -0500

We'll get this out of the way now: No, we haven't watched season 2 of The Mandalorian. Yes, we know his name is Grogu. Now. After calling him Gorgu 500 times. Oops. Hey, it's all part of falling down the rabbit hole with Alice in Wonderland by Probable Pervert Lewis Carroll. Featuring: Unlocking the mystery of why all Alice in Wonderland adaptations are Like That™, learning upsetting penguin facts, and...actually that's pretty much it.

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91: Who's Afraid of Virgender Woolf?

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 26 Nov 2020 07:00:00 -0500

This Thanksgiving, be thankful your significant other doesn't expect you to pull a Virginia Woolf and write them a stealth love letter in the form of the celebrated and experimental genderbending novel, Orlando: A Biography, like Woolf did for her girlfriend. Instead of just, y'know, getting them a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory. Again. Christ, Todd, get it together.

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90: Victor Hugo Said ACAB

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 12 Nov 2020 08:00:00 -0500

Do you hear the people sing? Megan and RJ sure do as they get all kinds of Les Miserables on this special Patreon-request episode. Learn why no matter what time it is, it's always Time For Victor Hugo's Opinion, pro Les Mis speedrunner strats, the dark, horny truth behind the numbers 24601, and the Definitive Top Ranked Javert Drownings.

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89: Paul Hollywood IS Mrs. De Winter IN Rebecca

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 29 Oct 2020 09:00:00 -0500

So...there's an acclaimed spooky Gothic novel called Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier and there's a new original movie on Netflix also called Rebecca and, in theory, this episode is about that, and NOT Paul Hollywood, evil housekeepers that sound like Wario, or James Bond devouring a mansion. In theory. Happy Halloween everybody!

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88: We're Gonna Goose Your Bumps

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 15 Oct 2020 23:30:00 -0500

Listener beware, you're in for a scare, Megan and RJ are here to give you Goosebumps! Learn all about R.L. Stine, the man behind the bumps, plus: Hairy Adoption Alternatives, "What's the Deal with Kids and Ventriloquism?", and the oral history of Goosebumps Live On Stage. Yup.

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87: The Phantom of the Hockey Rink

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 01 Oct 2020 06:00:00 -0500

"Christine, I am The Angel of Music, and you must never touch my mask...seriously, have you ever taken a puck to the face unprotected? Brutal." It's Halloween, and you know what that means: Spooky ghosts, haunted opera houses, horny Frenchmen, and Emilio Estevez menacingly whispering things about ducks and/or hockey. It's Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera! I think!

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86: Is the Evil Fairy Who Cursed Your Dick a Girlboss?

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode, Megan and RJ ask: What killed John Keats, arguably the softest of the Softboi Romantic poets? Lord Byron and Percy Shelley blame mean reviews, but we're *pretty* sure it was the tuberculosis. Probably. See also: Poems About Things, discussions on whether or not peen-cursing equals female empowerment, the inherent sexiness of Grecian Urns, and Extremely Specific Burial Requests With RJ.

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85: Clear Eyes, One Nut, Can't Lose

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 03 Sep 2020 06:00:00 -0500

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??? By which we mean a book about football. Specifically, Friday Night Lights, journalist H.G. Bissinger's journey to Odessa, Texas, a town so obsessed with its high school football team it was willing to sacrifice grades, hopes, dreams, mental wellbeing, and yes, a testicle here or there. RJ scores a touchdown in the blogosphere, while Megan tries out some new catchphrases.

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84: Let's Get Lit(erary Theory)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 20 Aug 2020 04:00:00 -0500

Life has thrown a lot at Megan and RJ lately, and so instead of a normal episode, they're going to explain lit theory, because that's easier somehow? Thrill as Megan threatens long-dead literary critics, shrug as RJ threatens to suck Bigfoot's ween but briefly becomes a competent theory professor, and tremble as we are all forced to experience Oh My F@cking God Philosophy Class.

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83: Romeo and Juliet — Young, Dumb, and Full of...You Know ;)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 06 Aug 2020 04:00:00 -0500

It's a real Throwback Thursday of an episode: Shakespeare! Vin Diesel reminding us of the importance of family! Rampant horniness! (Wait, that's just Shakespeare again) Off-key singing! Incorrect information regarding dairy products! Rambling tangents about 90s movies! So hop in your Death Zamboni and let's go, for there never was a story of more woe than RJ's new segment on Juliet and her Gnomeo.

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82: Frederick Douglass Could Beat Up Alexander Hamilton

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 23 Jul 2020 06:00:00 -0500

Sure, he was born about 14 years after Hamilton died but our point still stands. In an ON!LC first, we cover a memoir: The Narrative Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave. Highlights include: Frederick Douglass Is Smarter Than Everyone, the inherent stupidity of displaying the flag of a war you lost, and where are The Good Historical Brad Pitts?

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81: Soothing Whale Sounds With RJ

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 09 Jul 2020 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we cover author Witi Ihimaera and his culturally influential novel, Whale Rider, and learn the dangers of not properly appreciating your great-grandchildren, the (continuing) fine art of mascot-naming, the inherent awesomeness of old ladies, and the objective categorization of Miami Dolphins coaches...And yes, RJ makes whale noises.

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80: The Glass Malkovich (w/ Scottye Moore from BS Podcast Network)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 25 Jun 2020 04:00:00 -0500

In an episode that will go down in history alongside Ethan Frome and Of Mice and Men as "wow, that sure went off the rails fast," podcasting maniac and aspiring world-record-holder Scottye Moore joins us to cover Tennessee Williams's play, The Glass Menagerie, and things quickly dissolve into John Malkovich-impersonating, Nelly-singing, symbolism-screaming, gay-deceiving, screen-projecting chaos.

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79: Troy 2 — Odysseus Is Back...and He's Pissed

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 11 Jun 2020 09:00:00 -0500

The Odyssey aka Part 2 of Homer's epic poetic duo features what is perhaps the worst and also most horny travelogue of the ancient world as Odysseus battles and bangs his way home while Athena, arguably, does all the real work. Meanwhile, Megan and RJ are both tempted by siren songs: 1980s anime and Brad Pitt.

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78: The Zero Chilliad

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 28 May 2020 09:00:00 -0500

Get it? Because Achilles has zero chill? Megan and RJ also find themselves lacking chill as they attempt to navigate the first of Homer's epic poem duology, The Iliad, starting with the important question: Just what does it mean to be 10-Year War Hot? RJ defends fictional historical sites, Megan gets lost in the mythological sauce, and instead of chasing waterfalls, we learn to stab the rivers and lakes that we're used to.

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77: So It Kurt Vonnegoes (w/ Rob Kristoffersen From Our Strange Skies)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 14 May 2020 09:00:00 -0500

There's no getting around it, this episode on Kurt Vonnegut's seminal novel, Slaughterhouse-Five, is big. It's all about time, space, war, trauma, and also, for no reason at all, French philosopher Michel Foucault's weird bald head. Taking the trip to Tralfamadore with Megan and RJ is Rob Kristoffersen of the podcast Our Strange Skies, who doesn't really help so much as talk about finger-puppets and nu-metal. So it goes.

Note: Our Strange Skies is no longer running but you can follow Rob and his other projects on Twitter @YerUFOGuy

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76: The House on Mascot Street

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 30 Apr 2020 07:00:00 -0500

What do Iowa tourism slogans, college mascots, Mel Gibson movie corrections, Miami Dolphins draft options, and institutionalized racism all have in common? Probably more than you think but mainly they're all things we end up somehow talking about in the course of our episode on Sandra Cisneros's contemporary YA classic, The House on Mango Street. Hey, at least we managed not to talk about Pitbull for once.

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75: The Haunted Babysitters Club

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 16 Apr 2020 09:00:00 -0500

If we could turn back time, we'd probably make Cher less of a major cornerstone on this episode about Henry James's spooky novella The Turn of the Screw but it's too late for that now! RJ makes his spectacular return in an episode rife with song titles, interrupting trains, cat-chewing, ESPN-checking, and occasionally actually talking about the book. We're back, and we got you, babe.

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March Mini-Madness 4: Adaptation-Hating with The Narcissist Cookbook

Oh No! Lit Class — Tue, 31 Mar 2020 09:00:00 -0500

We're at the razor's edge of madness as Matt Johnston aka The Narcissist Cookbook joins Megan to share his feelings on HBO's adaptation of the His Dark Materials novel series, which is that it sucks so bad. Megan Rambles About Books They Read Years Ago, we appreciate The Princess Bride, Matt defends World War Z, and we learn that maybe we're all a little bit naked sometimes. In front of our neighbors, specifically.

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March Mini-Madness 3: Book-Huffing and Other Sins With Paul from Varmints!

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 26 Mar 2020 09:00:00 -0500

March may be winding down but the madness continues with Paul Csomo, host of the amazing animal podcast Varmints! The exclamation point is part of the show's title but also indicative of the level of excitement you should have as Megan and Paul discuss book-huffers, defacers, skippers, and other such weirdsies. Also, we dunk on RJ a whole bunch. Sorry, bud.

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March Mini-Madness 2: Witcher-Guessing With Joe from Life, Death, and Taxonomy

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 09:00:00 -0500

Witcher? I hardly know her! March Mini-Madness continues as Megan is given a lesson in Witcher Literature (Witcherature) by Joe Raspolich, co-host of Life, Death, and Taxonomy. We play guessing games, critique Witcher world fashion, mispronounce even more character names than the last episode, and fall in love with foul-mouthed parrots and the sheer charisma of an ass you can toss a coin to your witcher off of.

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March Mini-Madness 1: Book-Shaming With Kate from Ignorance Was Bliss

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 05 Mar 2020 10:00:00 -0500

Our first entry into Miniaturized Madness in March is with Webby-nominated(!) Kate Wallinga, host of Ignorance Was Bliss. Megan and Kate ostensibly discuss the pointless pedantry of book-shaming someone for not having read something but quickly veer off into Harry Potter character mispronouncing, author call-outs, and So You've Accidentally Written Something Problematic: A Guide. Also, we take away some birthdays, because we deserve them and JK Rowling doesn't.

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74: Oh No! Clip Show

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 27 Feb 2020 06:32:00 -0500

RJ has officially left ON!LC HQ and Megan is totally handling it super well (he's fine, it's fine, we're fine). Until your favorite book idiots are reunited, please enjoy this retrospective of some of our greatest hits and relive the singing, screeching, shaming, and sex jokes that make our show the Internet's #1 Podcast for Literature and Penile Humours.

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73: Much Ado About Doin' It

Oh No! Lit Class — Fri, 14 Feb 2020 05:08:00 -0500

We're celebrating our 3rd birthday with Big Willy Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, and everyone's* invited! Ready your "no" face to learn why vicious sarcasm is the truest love language, how to give off Big Thursday Energy, the benefits of faking your death, and the importance of taking your Geritol. *Mark Rylance is not invited.

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72: Things Get Real on Beale

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 30 Jan 2020 21:55:00 -0500

While we may be more equipped to talk about Sesame Street, in this episode we're covering If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin. Join us on a journey through a lyrical, tragic, beautiful story as we learn about the 90s band Live, just what kicks are on Route 66, and the art of the stamp biography. RJ threatens a fetus and Megan says "this is really interesting" 10,000 times.

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71: The Way the World Ends (Not With a Bang but a Meow)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 16 Jan 2020 18:40:00 -0500

Megan and RJ are prancing and dancing their way into 2020 like a regular pair of Jellicle cats as they take on T.S. Eliot and his wildly disparate body of work, including poems of fragmented existential Modernist despair and also itty bitty kitty-cats. Also: Meeting our Simpsons and Star Wars quotas, daring to eat peaches, and getting distracted by postmodernism and Kevin Bacon...again.

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70: Crack Open a Cold Nut With the Boy

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 19 Dec 2019 10:00:00 -0500

Megan and RJ attempt to atone for their episode 69-related sins with a dose of wholesome holiday cheer via ETA Hoffmann's classic Christmas tale, The Nutcracker! Wherein a potentially insane clockmaker refuses to help a small girl who's being extorted by a mouse with seven heads! Megan is confused by ballet, RJ does some exceptional word-mangling, and we make every possible "nut" joke in existence.

From the midroll:

@NarcissistCook on Twitter

litographs.com

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69 (Part 2): Holy Cow! Mr. Grey Will See You Now

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 05 Dec 2019 10:00:00 -0500

Ok, for real this time: E. L. James and her Twilight Businessman BDSM fan fiction are here and Megan and RJ are going to do everything in their power to make it possibly even worse than it already was. Featuring: Conspiracy theories, butt-whipping, bold creative writing choices, spicy meatballs, live nude Shakespearian drama, and more. Holy cow indeed.

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69 (Part 1): Sort of a Grey Area

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 28 Nov 2019 10:00:00 -0500

It's here. Episode 69. Which means it's time to gird your loins and put on your DJs. That's right, your Dom Jeans. Welcome to 50 Shades of Grey, Happy Thanksgiving, and also we're very sorry.

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68: Robert Frost vs. the Soviet Union

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 14 Nov 2019 10:00:00 -0500

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and we took the one that led to a dingdong joke, and that has made all the difference. It's time for some Robert Frost! RJ gets nihilistic about roads and salad, Megan thinks about death, and Robert Frost attempts to solve Communism with poetry. Also featured: boneless donuts, The Road Not Taken: The Remix, and why snow is an illegal immigrant.

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67: Just Vampire Gals Bein' Pals

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 31 Oct 2019 09:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we learn that anything can happen on Halloween, including vampire lesbians as we read Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu's gothic, sapphic novella, Carmilla (or Mircalla, or Millarca...or Clam Rail). Along the way, we'll revisit the acronym RJ refuses to let go of, learn about moon magic, what in the hell a schloss is, and listen to Megan be an absolute Numbers Idiot. Happy Halloween!

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66: The Hound of the Bastardvilles

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 17 Oct 2019 09:00:00 -0500

Who's that Pokemon? It's Sherlock Holmes! It makes sense in context! We continue our Halloween celebration by dipping our toes into the deep, dark depths of the world of Sherlock Holmes and his sexy lamp, John Watson with The Hound of the Baskervilles! Hone those deduction skills with Victorian negging, Seinfeld impressioning, bog experiencing, and the scariest thing of all: college financial planning!

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65: This Old (Haunted) House (w/ Moxie LaBouche from Your Brain on Facts)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 03 Oct 2019 09:00:00 -0500

It's the Season of Spooks and Scares and we're starting with Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House, with the help of Moxie, host of Your Brain on Facts, who’s just FULL of facts...mostly about how best to see Liam Neeson's ween. Master the art of self-haunting, discover your Useless Psychic Gifts, and catch up on the hottest teen slang as we learn that sometimes the real ghosts are the kinks we shamed along the way.

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64: Not Another British War Drama

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 19 Sep 2019 09:00:00 -0500

Like a candy bar offered to you by a creepy British man, sink your teeth into this episode as we cover another writer still kickin’ it with the modern classic, Atonement, where we learn how a young girl's lies can ruin the lives of her loved ones but score her a sweet book deal. Also featured: Cat ASMR, being horny on main for Keira Knightley, and Emotions With RJ.

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Study Break Bonus: This Episode is a Miserable Little Pile of Secrets

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 09:00:00 -0500

From the Patreon-only vault: Megan, RJ, and Jared aka Best Day, huddle in Jared's closet around his terrible Snowball mic to discuss Japanese video games based on Tom Sawyer, Dracula, and the works of H.P. Lovecraft. Learn about adorable vampires, significantly less adorable racism, the origins of Rihanna Belmont, and the sanity-restoring power of hotels.

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Oh No! Law Class Episode 0: Ride that Horse to Justice

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 09:00:00 -0500

What, two episode drops in one day? And one of them is a pilot for a potential series where RJ actually TEACHES YOU THINGS? Wild. That's right, There's a new ON!LC in town, and this one's all about law, and therefore all RJ. This episode serves as an introduction to RJ's new solo miniseries, so enjoy learning about the constitution, the Supreme Court, and the horse it rode in on.

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63: Treasure Island — A Tale of Two Daddies

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 22 Aug 2019 09:00:00 -0500

Your favorite wildly unqualified hosts are back and have completely forgotten how to podcast! Join Megan and RJ as they once again venture onto the literary high seas with Treasure Island and learn that the real treasure is the dads you met along the way. Also featured: pirate accents, theoretical muppet sex, and about 10 seconds of literary theory that dissolves into memes. WE'RE BACK BABY!

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62: Capote, I Don't Think We're in Kansas Anymore (w/ Kate Wallinga from Ignorance Was Bliss)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 27 Jun 2019 10:00:00 -0500

Screw books! We're a True Crime podcast now! Megan and RJ are joined by Kate, host of the podcast Ignorance Was Bliss to get all up in Truman Capote's genre-birthing "nonfiction" book, In Cold Blood. Together we'll objectify nuns, workshop Kansas tourism slogans, play "Capote or Pitbull?", and learn why murderers are often really, really dumb. Just like, so unbelievably stupid, you guys.

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61: This Teen Angst Is Vintage

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 13 Jun 2019 09:00:00 -0500

Another special request episode takes us back down that old YA road to Paul Zindel's novel, Pardon Me, You're Stepping on My Eyeball. Soak in that good good 1970s teenage disillusionment while RJ forgets who wrote Catcher in the Rye, gives the graduation speech no one asked for, and just generally drives Megan to the brink of madness.

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60: If She Breathes, She's a Thot: The Tragedy of Othello

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 30 May 2019 09:00:00 -0500

We're back for more Big Willy, this time taking a look at Othello, the classic tale of tragedy, betrayal, and people flat-out refusing to JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER, MY GOD. We discover that Iago is not a parrot, but do the parrot voice anyway, learn the dangers of being on #IslandTime, have difficulty saying "Brabantio," and make that one stupid Spaceship Earth joke AGAIN because we're basic.

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59: The Remains of the Day — The Phantom Menace

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 16 May 2019 09:00:00 -0500

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wonder why we keep talking about Star Wars as we recount Kazuo Ishiguro's acclaimed classic, The Remains of the Day, the most frustratingly captivating novel about a butler who doesn't have sex. We revisit being Too British For Feelings, give up on our jazz dreams, and remember that we're all complicit in war crimes. And nude John Cleese. We're complicit in that too.

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58: A Long Title About Little (Golden) Books

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 02 May 2019 09:00:00 -0500

Take a trip to Little Golden Book Land as we take advantage of a mysterious delivery to revisit such greats as The Poky Little Puppy! Learn about LGB's humble beginnings, how Scuffy the Tugboat can defeat Thanos, and why the illustrations are not as cute as you remember. We cast a hip new Little Golden Movie, try not to sexualize trains, and achieve our dreams at zombo.com!

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57: I Can Feel It Cummings in the Air Tonight

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 18 Apr 2019 09:00:00 -0500

Oh Lord do we ever feel it coming as we dive back into the weird, wonderful, nearly constantly horny world of poetry with E.E. Cummings (and learn why we definitely wrote his name properly here). RJ remembers the 90s, Megan defends Avante Garde art against good sense, and we all learn that real love is less about marriage and more about being true to your farts.

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56: The Lion, the Bris and the Wardrobe (w/ The Narcissist Cookbook)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 04 Apr 2019 09:00:00 -0500

We step through CS Lewis's titular wardrobe into Narnia with Matt Johnston aka The Narcissist Cookbook to take a story of magical lands and good vs evil that's been dear to him since childhood and just ruin it. Just really leave it in shambles. Highlights include the logistics of lion circumcision, candy worth betraying your family for, The Susan Pevensie Appreciation Club, and RJ's Secret Origins.

Listen to The Narcissist Cookbook on Bandcamp: http://bit.ly/2FIRfFo

On Twitter @NarcissistCook

Youtube video for the featured song, "Courtney:" http://bit.ly/2FOJQ8K

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55: A Tale of Two Cities—and One Bane (w/ BJ Mendelson)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 21 Mar 2019 09:00:00 -0500

We're joined by author, comic writer, and Dickens-hating enthusiast BJ Mendelson as we read A Tale of Two Cities and learn that, while the revolution may not be televised, it WILL be knit into a sweater. Discover how Batman and the WWE figure into the literary canon while BJ attacks Dickens for being an asshole, RJ attacks Napoleon for being short, and Megan attacks the French language by attempting to speak it.

Follow BJ on Twitter @BJMendelson or on his site at https://bjmendelson.com/

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54: We Welcome Our Insect Overlords

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 07 Mar 2019 10:00:00 -0500

The authors are only mostly dead in this special request episode that takes us to the sci-fi space futures of "Bloodchild" by Octavia Butler and "Sandkings" by George RR Martin. Learn the do's and don'ts of exotic (occasionally human) pet ownership as Megan gets a phobia of bugs and novel-related nomenclature while RJ talks like the animals and enlists in the #StugotzArmy

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53: Huckleberry Finn and the Magic Power of Chest Hair (w/ MC Lars)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 21 Feb 2019 10:00:00 -0500

We're talking Mark Twain and super excited to be rolling down the Mississippi River with literary rhyme-master and self-professed Huck Finn fanboy MC Lars! Lars does his best to teach Megan and RJ a thing as we discuss the validity of lucky chest hair, Mark Twain The Shakespeare Truther, why Tom Sawyer is a terrifying sociopath, and awkwardly cross the minefield of the novel's racial controversies as only three white people can.

Check out MC Lars at @mclars on twitter and at http://mclars.com/

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52: Grendel's Mom Has Got It Goin' On (w/ Dr. Carla Maria Thomas)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 07 Feb 2019 10:00:00 -0500

We're celebrating TWO YEARS of unbridled book nonsense with an ON!LC first: getting someone who actually knows what the hell they're talking about to help us out. Dr. Carla Maria Thomas lends her Olde English expertise as we take on Beowulf, the epic poem about Live Nude Monster Fights. Megan kinkshames Neil Gaiman, RJ gets titillated over Tom Brady, and Carla teaches us how to properly pronounce words, thank God.

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51: Orpheus and Eurydice vs. Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 24 Jan 2019 10:00:00 -0500

Warm up those vocal cords and get ready to head to Hades because it's time to get mythological, baby! We're tackling the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, a tale of lovers doomed by a failure to follow instructions that is almost literally as old as time. We’ll find out if Cardi B. has life-restoring powers and if Plato had a sweet butt, but mostly, we’ll use the episode as an excuse to gush over the musical Hadestown.

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50: Operation Death Sled (w/ Reid Messerschmidt From The Irrationally Exuberant Podcast)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 10 Jan 2019 10:00:00 -0500

Happy New Year! ON!LC is back in a big way as Reid Messerschmidt of The Irrationally Exuberant Podcast joins us to make the case for Edith Wharton's novel Ethan Frome, the story of the worst winter-sports-related suicide pact ever. Together, we'll ponder the peculiarities of pickle dishes, learn some Horse Facts, and understand what it means to be horny inside your heart.

Listen to more Reid at http://theirrationallyexuberant.com/ and on Twitter at @exuberantpod

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Study Break Bonus: It Turns Out Words Don't Actually Mean Anything

Oh No! Lit Class — Mon, 31 Dec 2018 10:00:00 -0500

What better way to get ready to ring in 2019 than with another bonus minisode from the ON!LC vault? Megan has a petty pet peeve over famous miscontextualized phrases from literature and people's habit of getting them tattooed on their bodies. Meanwhile, RJ embraces the inherent meaninglessness of the universe, and we learn that the person meant to watch the watchmen is supposed to be keeping them from having sex with someone's wife...yup.

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Study Break Bonus: I Literally Can't Even

Oh No! Lit Class — Tue, 25 Dec 2018 10:00:00 -0500

Merry Christmas! Dive under the Christmas tree and unwrap this previously Patreon-exclusive minisode where guest Matt Hocker, surrealist comedian, and host of the appropriately-titled Matt Hocker Show, drops in to provide some deep thoughts on the evolution of language, exposing Megan as a total dingbat. Postmodernism rears its ugly head again as we talk about fanfiction, how all words are made-up words, and also some very good ice cream.

You can check out Matt's show at http://thematthockershow.com/

Or his Twitter where makes cool board games: @CooGamesMatt

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49: Disney Rides are the Basis of All Historical Canon

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 10:00:00 -0500

In this final episode of 2018, all your burning questions will be answered, like what piece of classic literature needs to be made into a Muppet movie? Which Bronte sister could you beat in a fistfight? And where are all these trains coming from? You'll also learn how to sort out your student loans, understand French literary theory, and pull sweet professorial pranks. Happy Holidays and #PrayForRJ

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48: A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 29 Nov 2018 10:00:00 -0500

Smash that emergency Shakespeare button for an appropriately semi-lucid episode on A Midsummer Night's Dream! Learn all about Shakespeare's famed comedy about horny idiots in the woods...that sat around in obscurity for like 200 years. Because Puritans. RJ makes the case against parties, Megan makes enemies of theater kids everywhere, and we discover what timeless Christmas film was inspired by this play about magical boning.

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47: My Sister, My Sister, My Sister and Me

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 10:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we take a look at some positively lilliputian ladies in Louisa May Alcott's classic coming-of-age novel, Little Women. Learn why the Civil War is basically just the first Pokemon movie, how true Transcendentalism is hitting Ralph Waldo Emerson up for cash, and why Wrongfully Accused is an underrated classic. Megan advocates sibling murder, RJ examines the financial merits of cult life, and we all say "Awwww" a bunch.

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46: The Ballad of Count Jackula

Oh No! Lit Class — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 09:00:00 -0500

What's that in your candy bucket? Is it a bonus week of spooks and scares just in time for Halloween?! Join us and learn why A Rose for Emily is less about The Bachelor and more about oblivious townsfolk and tax evasion, while The October Game teaches you how to throw the perfect Halloween party. We do some voices, struggle with some songs, and invent what will surely become ON!LC's most beloved character ever.

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45: Who Names Their Kid Ichabod Anyway?

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Gird your gourds for more Halloween goodness as we begin our short story spookstravaganza! RJ discusses feminism and unfortunate interior decorating in The Yellow Wallpaper, and Megan explores the Legend of Sleepy Hollow and how being a jerk can get you ghost-murdered. Or regular murdered. It's unclear. Meanwhile, Rhode Island doubles down on racist authors and we all learn the importance of going "First!"

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44: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Bill Nye the Science Guy

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 11 Oct 2018 09:00:00 -0500

It's the most wonderful tiiiiime of the year! Halloween! Obviously. In this spine-tingling episode, Megan and RJ take a trip down Queer Street to examine The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! Witness the terrors of inheritance law, Victorian moral hypocrisy, and Vague, Unspecified Crime! Learn the finer points of forcing your child to be a lighthouse engineer and how to give your nurse the worst nickname ever.

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43: Surf's Up, Agatha!

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 27 Sep 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Megan and RJ take Agatha Christie's sinister choo-choo train to her classic mystery novel, Murder on the Orient Express. Along for the ride is Jess, English teacher and certified Christie-head. We learn that murder is the secret to getting kids to read more, while Megan struggles to say a single character name correctly, RJ is jealous that he can't hang ten, and Jess initiates a blood feud with celebrated actor and director Kenneth Branagh.

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42: Finding (and Escaping) Nemo

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 13 Sep 2018 22:42:00 -0500

In this episode, we hold our breath to dive into the briny depths of Jules Verne’s adventure classic, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea! Learn the downsides of owning your own island, the majesty of differently-abled manatees, and Captain Nemo’s step-by-step guide on how to be the most unbelievably extra person in the entire ocean. Megan yearns for action and adventure, while RJ mostly yearns for Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

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41: The #Aesthetic of Dorian Gray

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 30 Aug 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Maybe he’s born with it, maybe it’s a cursed, magical painting. Join Megan and RJ as they return to the wonderful world of Oscar Wilde to appraise The Picture of Dorian Gray and learn the surprising source of inspiration for Wilde’s novel about the dangers of being eternally sexy. Meanwhile, RJ makes some startling literary connections, and Megan podcasts from the inside of a bucket.

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40: H. P. Lovecraft Part 2: A City of Steve Buscemis (w/ Best Day)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 16 Aug 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Join Megan, RJ, and Jared as we round out our journey through the Cthulhu-verse with The Shadow over Innsmouth, a tale of cursed villages, dark secrets, and mega-horny immortal fish people. Also discussed: Why good Lovecraft movies are hard to find, the difficulties of separating a pretty thoroughly racist man from the massive impact he’s had on horror, sci-fi, and fantasy, and how he gave his cat literally the worst name ever, oh my god.

Best Day’s Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/best-day

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39: H. P. Lovecraft Part 1: Jostled to Death by Sailors (w/ Best Day)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 02 Aug 2018 09:00:00 -0500

In this episode, Megan and RJ open up their feeble brain meats to the untold cosmic horrors of H. P. Lovecraft! With special guest and Old God aficionado, Jared aka Best Day, we heed the haunting, squishy Call of Cthulhu and prepare for…Unnecessarily Complicated Language! Old-Timey Racism! Guys With Three Names! And So Many Narrative Framing Devices! It’s an episode so nice it had to be spliced (into two parts).

Best Day’s Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/best-day

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Study Break Bonus: The Goatesque and the Oceanesque

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 26 Jul 2018 09:00:00 -0500

In this free teaser of Study Breaks to come, ON!LC guest alum Monique McIntosh returns to teach Megan about a popular, unsurprisingly racist term used in classic horror fiction. We also cover zombie goats, the unfathomable terrors of both the alphabet and the ocean, and why sexual attraction to lions with ’90s boy band hair is definitely totally normal.

To listen to future Study Break bonus episodes subscribe to the $3 tier on our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/OhNoLitClass

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38: Hello from the Outside(rs)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 19 Jul 2018 09:00:00 -0500

We’re inside, we’re outside, we’re every which way but the general direction of S.E. Hinton’s Twitter as we tackle her classic teen coming-of-age novel, The Outsiders. Which isn’t gay. At all. What would even make you think that? Experience increasingly outlandish acronyms, the importance of both greasy hair and a good cry, and deeply ironic audio problems. Don’t listen for our sake…do it for Johnny.

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37: Oops, We Bronte’d Again

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 05 Jul 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Get ready for THE DRAMA as Megan and RJ journey to the ghostly moors of Wuthering Heights! Learn why everyone who thinks this is a romantic love story is both Wrong and Bad, why you should avoid graveyard-adjacent drinking water, and how Gothic antihero Heathcliff and Rocky Balboa are basically the same guy. RJ continues his crusade against naming kids after yourself, Megan reveals a dark, Lifetime Movies-related secret, and we invoke Terrible and Ancient Memes.

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36: A Nice Book About Bunny Rabbits (w/ Chris Osborne From Play Comics)

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 21 Jun 2018 09:00:00 -0500

What could go wrong in a book about bunnies? Plenty, if that book is Watership Down, a classic children’s novel that’s been traumatizing kids for nearly 50 years. Also traumatized is Chris Osborne of Play Comics, who joins us as we follow a band of bunnies on their epic quest for survival. Meanwhile, Megan relives childhood horrors, Chris learns a language, and RJ makes enough rabbit puns to constitute a war crime.

Chris’s show: playcomics.com

Chris’s Twitter: @playcomicscast

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35: 1-800-Flowers for Algernon

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 07 Jun 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Oh Danny boy, the pipes are calling on this episode where we manage, despite our best efforts and potentially worst singing yet, to talk about the classic (sci-fi?) novel, Flowers for Algernon. Learn the importance of good branding, that the gross changes happening to your body are totally normal, and why being smart is a sucker’s game, with an added bonus of briefly coherent actual literary analysis.

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34: Of Mice and Men and Salads

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 24 May 2018 09:00:00 -0500

In an episode that could best be described as “Steinbeck adjacent,” we engage in some heavy petting, bacon thieving, obscure reference-making, and banana-insinuating. We also learn all about Burgess Meredith, the rules of Being In Van Halen, briefly become Oh No! City Slickers, and oh, uh, talk about Of Mice and Men…kinda. But it’s okay because we got sunshine in our pockets, and that sunshine might just be cocaine.

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33: Mental Breakdowns in the Rye

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 10 May 2018 09:12:00 -0500

Get ready to #CatchTheseHands in the rye as your two favorite phonies set out to eviscerate Holden Caulfield, but mostly just feel bad for him. Learn about the distinguished fields of kosher cheese mongering and elevator pimping, go faith findin’ with JD, and listen as Megan challenges John Travolta to a fistfight and RJ commits multiple mouth crimes.

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32: Part Man, Part Alcohol, Part Kangaroo: The Ernest Hemingway Story

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 26 Apr 2018 09:00:00 -0500

In this special episode, we take you on an intoxicated tour through the life, times, and wives of Ernest Hemingway, with a brief stopover at The Old Man and the Sea. Join us at the hottest spot north of Havana for this drunkstravaganza featuring: Gay marlins, Sandra Bullock, questionable surgery practices, baseball(?), and conquering nature with your peen.

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31: Down and Dirty John Donne

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 12 Apr 2018 09:00:00 -0500

RJ takes the wheel to teach us a thing about John Donne: Reverend, husband, and mega-horny poet. Enjoy the tonal whiplash as we rocket between poems about doing it, poems about how everyone he loved is dead, and more poems about doing it. Megan crafts some fanfiction, Financin’ with RJ branches out, and we learn that no man is an island, especially if he’s in the middle of having sex.

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30: Bowels of Darkness

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 10:00:00 -0500

In this episode, we head to Africa, not to bless the rains but to contend with Joseph Conrad’s novel Heart of Darkness. Megan is filled to the brim with salt while RJ tries to rack up a high score playing Devil’s Advocate. Join us as we discuss racism, imperialism, and the alleged contents of John Wayne’s colon.

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29: A Tough Tesseract to Follow

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 15 Mar 2018 11:53:00 -0500

Crack open your guide to interdimensional travel because we’re about to Wrinkle some Time! Join us and our friend Scott for a magical story of quantum mechanics, pulsating brains, and incompetent dads as we learn how pubescent girl-rage can save the day. We complement our book-reading with film-watching and experience Empowerment, continue our blood feud with Jacksonville, and gaze in awe at 80-foot Oprah.

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28: Fightin’ and Philanderin’ With Daddy Dumas

Oh No! Lit Class — Thu, 01 Mar 2018 10:30:00 -0500

Get ready for some nougat-y goodness with The Three Musketeers, a novel less about swashbuckling and more about extra-marital cross-kingdom hookups, horse-shaming, and that famous Musketeer slogan: “Well, if it pisses off the Cardinal then I guess it’s okay.” Alexandre Dumas outsources his book-writing to make more time for lovin’, Megan laments a severe lack of sword boys, and RJ ruins ASMR forever.

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