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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

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Authority and Character in Parenting

Parenting is a high calling that goes beyond mere behavior modification; it is about shepherding a child’s heart toward the gospel. In this lesson, we explore two essential principles from Paul Tripp’s parenting philosophy: authority and character. Every child is born into a world of authority, yet their natural sin nature convinces them that they should be the center of their own universe. This internal struggle makes submission feel unnatural, leading to a desire to set their own rules and go their own way.

As parents, our job is to model the “protective beauty” of authority. We aren’t just looking for “checked boxes” of obedience; we are training our children to understand that God’s rules—and by extension, our household rules—are for their good, their development, and their safety. When a child understands that authority is meant to protect them, like a parent keeping a toddler out of a busy street, it changes their perspective from seeing rules as restrictive to seeing them as loving.

This process requires us to look at the scriptures as our guide. We see in Psalm 86:15 that God is compassionate and slow to anger, which is the heart we must mirror. Ephesians 6:1-4 lays out the structure for the home: children are called to obey and honor their parents, while fathers are warned not to provoke their children to anger but to bring them up in the instruction of the Lord. Furthermore, Hebrews 12:5-11 reminds us that while discipline is painful in the moment, it is a sign of God’s love and produces a peaceful harvest of right living.

Ultimately, parental authority serves as a bridge to God. We represent His character to our children now so that, as they grow, they will learn to submit to Him personally once they leave our home. By parenting with compassion and mercy, we reflect the heart of a God who is patient for our sake, as seen in 2 Peter 3:9. When we address our children’s lack of character with the gospel, we move from being mere “rule-enforcers” to being “heart-shepherds” who point them to their need for a Savior.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

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Parenting with Purpose: Identity and Process Matter More Than You Think

Parenting has a way of exposing our deepest fears and insecurities. Whether it’s a meltdown in public or a disappointing report card, many parents feel like they’re constantly being evaluated. In those moments, it’s easy to tie our worth to our kids’ behavior. But according to Paul David Tripp’s 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Parenting, this mindset reveals a deeper issue: we’ve forgotten where our identity truly comes from.

At the heart of this lesson are two powerful principles: identity and process. When we understand these correctly, it changes everything about how we parent.

Identity: Where Are You Finding Your Worth?

The Bible makes it clear that our identity is not found in our performance—or our kids’ performance—but in Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

When parents lose sight of this “vertical identity,” they start looking horizontally—to their children, careers, or reputation—for validation. This creates a dangerous dynamic where kids feel pressure to perform, not for their own growth, but to prop up their parents’ sense of worth.

This can show up in subtle ways:

• Feeling embarrassed when your child misbehaves
• Overreacting to grades, sports performance, or social success
• Comparing your family to others
• Avoiding vulnerability because you want to appear like a “perfect” parent

But here’s the truth: your kids were never designed to carry the weight of your identity. Only God can do that.

Romans 12:1-2 (NLT) reminds us to let God transform the way we think, not to conform to the world’s standards of success or worth. When we rest in our identity in Christ, we’re freed to parent from a place of grace instead of pressure.

This also creates a healthier environment for our kids. Instead of feeling like they must perform to earn love, they begin to understand the gospel: we are all broken, and we all need Jesus.

Process: Change Doesn’t Happen Overnight

The second principle is just as important—and often just as misunderstood. Parenting is not about quick fixes or one-time conversations. It’s about a long, faithful process.

Tripp puts it this way: change is a process, not an event.

Many parents fall into the trap of thinking, “If I just explain this clearly once, my child will get it.” But real transformation doesn’t work like that. Kids need repeated conversations, consistent guidance, and ongoing discipleship.

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”

Notice the word direct. That implies intentional, ongoing effort—not a one-time lecture.

Think of parenting like training for a marathon. You don’t wake up one day and run 26.2 miles. You build endurance over time. In the same way, spiritual growth in your kids happens through thousands of small, everyday moments:

• Conversations at the dinner table
• Prayers before bed
• Teaching moments after mistakes
• Encouraging truth when they struggle

Each of these moments is shaping their heart, building their awareness of God, and helping them understand the gospel.

Practical Takeaway: Focus on the Long Game

Instead of trying to fix everything at once, adopt what Tripp calls a “project mentality.” Focus on one or two key areas at a time—like honesty, kindness, or self-control—and consistently point your child to biblical truth in those areas.

Over time, these small, intentional steps add up.

Final Encouragement

Parenting is hard. There will be moments of failure, frustration, and doubt. But the gospel reminds us that we don’t have to be perfect parents—we just need to be faithful ones.

When you rest in your identity in Christ and commit to the long process of discipleship, you’re not just raising well-behaved kids—you’re pointing them to Jesus.

And that’s the real goal.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

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Links to Related Articles:

Can Believers Remarry After a Divorce?

Where Should Christians Draw the Line on Divorce and Remarriage?

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

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Get the Book: Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp

Parenting Beyond Rules: Why Grace Changes What Rules Can’t

Parenting can often feel overwhelming. Every parent wants to “do it right,” but many end up stuck somewhere between control and confusion. In this episode, we continue exploring principles from Paul David Tripp’s 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family, focusing on two powerful ideas: the principle of law and the principle of inability.

At the heart of these principles is a shift in perspective. Parenting is not primarily about behavior management—it’s about heart transformation. And that’s something only God can accomplish.

The Role of God’s Law in Parenting

God’s law is good. It provides boundaries, clarity, and protection. Children are not born knowing right from wrong—they need guidance. Rules help establish those guardrails.

Romans 3:20 reminds us: “Through the law we become conscious of sin.” The law shows us what’s right and wrong, but it doesn’t have the power to change us.

That’s where many parents go wrong. We assume that if we just add more rules, enforce stricter consequences, or demand better behavior, our kids will change. But rules alone can’t produce obedience from the heart—they can only manage behavior on the surface.

If parenting becomes all about rules, kids may comply externally while rebelling internally. They may obey out of fear, but not out of love or conviction.

Why Grace Must Go Beyond the Rules

God never intended the law to be the final solution. That’s why Jesus came—to do what the law could never do.

Romans 7:7 shows us that the law reveals sin, but it doesn’t remove it. Only grace can do that.

As parents, this means we must go beyond simply saying, “Follow the rules.” We need to explain the why behind the rules. Why does honesty matter? Why is kindness important? Why does obedience honor God?

More importantly, we need to point our kids to the gospel. They need to understand that their struggle to obey isn’t just a behavior issue—it’s a heart issue. And that’s exactly what Jesus came to redeem.

The Principle of Inability: You Can’t Change Your Child’s Heart

This principle can be both humbling and freeing.

As parents, we have authority—but we do not have the power to transform our child’s heart. That belongs to God alone.

Too often, we fall into the trap of trying to force change:

• We raise our voices louder
• We tighten consequences
• We increase control

But none of these “power tools” actually work long-term.

Tripp points out that tactics like rewards, fear, or shame may produce temporary compliance, but they don’t create lasting transformation. Instead, they teach kids to:

• Perform for approval
• Avoid punishment
• Or manipulate outcomes

That’s not obedience—it’s strategy.

Shepherding Hearts, Not Just Managing Behavior

The goal of parenting is not to raise rule-followers—it’s to raise God-followers.

That means shifting from control to connection. From enforcing rules to shepherding hearts.

Deuteronomy teaches us to talk about God’s truth in everyday life—when we sit, walk, lie down, and rise. Parenting is relational, not mechanical.

It also means modeling humility. Some of the most powerful parenting moments come when we admit our own failures. When we confess our lack of patience or self-control, we show our kids that we, too, need grace.

And that builds trust.

Raising Kids Who Love God, Not Just Follow Rules

Ultimately, the goal is this: when your kids leave your home, they won’t just follow rules because they have to—they’ll pursue God because they want to.

They’ll understand that God’s ways are good.

They’ll desire obedience from the inside out.

They’ll live with conviction, not just compliance.

So yes—set rules. Provide structure. Establish boundaries.

But don’t stop there.

Point your kids to Jesus.

Teach them about grace.

Help them understand their need for a Savior.

Because in the end, rules can guide behavior…

But only God can transform a heart.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

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Get the Book: Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp

From Owner to Ambassador: Radical Grace in Parenting

Parenting often feels like carrying the weight of your family’s future on your shoulders. Every decision feels loaded, every mistake feels permanent, and every struggle feels personal. In this episode, we begin a series exploring Paul Tripp’s book, 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family. We shift the focus from "ownership" parenting to "ambassador" parenting—a perspective that replaces the pressure of control with the freedom of God’s grace.

The Big Idea

God never designed parents to be the heroes of the family story. Parenting is less about managing outcomes and more about accurately reflecting the heart of God, trusting Him to do the work only He can do in the hearts of our kids.

Key Takeaways

• Owner vs. Ambassador: Most parenting dysfunction begins with an unconscious "ownership" view—the idea that our children belong to us to shape as we see fit. In reality, children belong to God. We are His ambassadors, called to faithfully represent His message, methods, and character.
• The Principle of Calling: Nothing is more important in your life than being one of God’s tools to form a human soul. Parenting isn't a season to "survive"; it is a calling to steward. God chose your specific personality and story to be the primary discipler of your children.
• The Principle of Grace: God never calls you to a task without giving you what you need to do it. This grace meets you in your darkest moments, your feelings of inability, and your deepest parental regrets.
• Modeling Over Mandating: As seen in Deuteronomy 6, a gospel-centered home starts with the parent’s own relationship with God. When we acknowledge our own brokenness, we become "safe" people for our kids to approach when they fail.

Relevant Scripture

• Psalm 127:3 – "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him."
• Deuteronomy 6:5–7 – "Love the Lord your God with all your heart... Impress [these commandments] on your children."
• Colossians 3:12-13 – "Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience... Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
• Hebrews 4:16 – "Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

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Links mentioned in epiosde:

Kevin and Jennifer's youtube channel.

"And the test results are..."

Allie Beth Stuckey - Why I’m Glad Alabama Has Banned IVF

In part two of this remarkable story, Kevin and Jennifer Gordon share how God led them through an unexpected next chapter decades after their infertility journey first began. After adopting their daughter, welcoming two sons through IVF and natural pregnancy, and leaving frozen embryos untouched for 20 years, they found themselves wrestling with what obedience to God would look like now. What followed was a faith-filled journey of prayer, wise counsel, medical hurdles, and ultimately a pregnancy in Jennifer’s fifties that neither of them would have chosen on their own.

This episode is a powerful conversation about life, conviction, and surrender. Kevin and Jennifer reflect honestly on the emotional, spiritual, and practical realities of IVF, frozen embryos, adoption, and trusting God when the path makes no human sense. Their story challenges listeners to think carefully about the sanctity of life, the cost of obedience, and the goodness of God in every season.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

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Kevin and Jennifer Gordon join Tracy and Bryan on the Family Podcast to share the shocking news that Jennifer is pregnant at 52 years old—and how that moment is the latest chapter in a decades-long journey of infertility, grief, faith, and surrender. They rewind to their early marriage dreams of having 2–3 kids, a heartbreaking miscarriage, and years of “nothing, nothing, nothing,” followed by difficult decisions about fertility treatments they didn’t fully understand and even feared might be “playing God.” Through prayer, unexpected open doors, and wise counsel from a godly mentor, they eventually pursued IVF—while God was also softening their hearts toward adoption.

Their story takes a dramatic turn as God redirects them to adopt their daughter from China, then later leads them back to their frozen embryos—resulting in the birth of their son Eli through IVF and another surprise: a natural pregnancy that brought their third child, Ethan. With three kids and years passing, they left remaining embryos frozen, assuming they’d “deal with it later,” even as a quiet conviction lingered. In recent years, new cultural conversations about embryos reignited the issue, and Jennifer sensed God stirring again. The episode ends at a powerful Good Friday service where she realizes she’s been holding a hidden “no” toward God—and she fully surrenders, open to whatever God asks next, even if it means something unimaginable in their 50s.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

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Gary Chapman's book: The Five Languages of Apology

Video from the Marriage Channel: The F Word that Can Save Your Marriage

Forgiveness in Marriage: The Choice That Changes Everything

Every marriage will face hurt. Expectations will be missed. Words will be spoken in frustration. Sometimes there will even be deep betrayal. The question isn’t if you’ll need forgiveness in your marriage — it’s whether you’ll choose it.

Forgiveness is not passive. It’s not pretending the hurt didn’t happen. And it’s not a “magic eraser” that wipes away pain overnight. Biblical forgiveness is an active, ongoing choice. It’s the decision to release the offense so that healing and growth can begin.

When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone, Jesus answered, “seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22. That wasn’t a literal number — it was a posture. Forgiveness is meant to characterize the heart of a follower of Christ.

What Forgiveness Is

1. Forgiveness Is a Choice

Forgiveness doesn’t always feel natural. It’s a deliberate decision not to replay the offense over and over or use it as ammunition in the next argument. It’s choosing not to hold your spouse hostage to their failure.

2. Forgiveness Is a Gift

You’re giving your spouse space to grow. You’re saying, “You hurt me, but I’m willing to move forward instead of weaponizing this against you.” It creates room for rebuilding.

3. Forgiveness Is Active and Ongoing

Some wounds are deep. If there has been infidelity, addiction, or repeated betrayal, forgiveness may not be a one-time event. It may be something you choose daily — even moment by moment — as painful memories resurface.

4. Forgiveness Means Giving Up Vengeance

Holding onto bitterness may feel justified, but it poisons your heart. Hebrews 12:15 warns about the “poisonous root of bitterness.” Revenge does not create healing soil for reconciliation.

What Forgiveness Is Not

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It does not minimize the offense. And it does not automatically restore trust.

Trust and forgiveness are not the same thing. Forgiveness is a proactive gift. Trust is rebuilt over time through consistent behavior. If your spouse betrayed you, forgiveness opens the door for healing — but trust must be earned.

God’s Model for Marriage

As followers of Jesus, our ultimate model is God Himself.

Ephesians 4:32 tells us to be “kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Psalm 103:10-12 reminds us that God does not treat us as our sins deserve. He removes our sins “as far from us as the east is from the west.”

Romans 5:8 declares that Christ died for us while we were still sinners.

When we remember how much we’ve been forgiven, it softens our hearts toward our spouse. We’ve offended a holy God far more than our spouse has offended us — yet He forgives with compassion.

What Forgiveness Looks Like in Real Life

Scenario 1: Missed Expectations

Maybe your spouse is chronically late. They forget anniversaries. They don’t plan date nights. Forgiveness here might look like clearly communicating your expectations instead of silently building resentment. It might mean maintaining a posture that wants your spouse to succeed — not secretly hoping they fail so you can feel justified.

It also means refusing to live in “negative sentiment override,” constantly focusing on their flaws. Instead, choose to remember the qualities you love about them and invite trusted mentors or counselors to help you grow.

Scenario 2: Betrayal (Pornography Relapse or Infidelity)

This is heavier. Forgiveness in this case does not mean ignoring the betrayal. It means honest confrontation, outside help, accountability structures, and clear expectations.

Forgiveness says, “I’m willing to give you space to rebuild trust.” It does not eliminate consequences, but it removes vengeance from the equation so healing can begin.

Many couples have rebuilt after devastating betrayal — but it only happened because the offended spouse was willing to extend forgiveness, and the offending spouse was willing to earn trust.

When You Need to Ask for Forgiveness

Forgiveness isn’t only about giving it. Sometimes you need to ask for it.

That requires humility. It means taking responsibility without shifting blame. It means saying clearly what you did wrong and asking for forgiveness.

Healthy marriages are built when both spouses know how to forgive and how to repent.

The Better Way Forward

Bitterness is like gasoline on a fire. Forgiveness is the extinguisher. One destroys; the other creates space for rebuilding.

If you want a healthy marriage, forgiveness cannot be optional. Pray for a softened heart. Meditate on how God has forgiven you. Choose forgiveness — again and again.

It’s not easy. But it is freeing. And it is God-honoring.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

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Parenting Your Kids in Sports: Encouragement That Builds Character

Sports can be one of the best training grounds for kids—or one of the most stressful parts of family life. If the thought of your child’s next game already makes you anxious, you’re not alone. Many parents feel pressure (from coaches, culture, other parents, and even themselves) to treat childhood sports like a career path. And if you’ve ever found yourself internalizing your kid’s performance as a reflection of your value as a parent, this topic is for you.

Here’s the big reality check: the sports world has changed fast. Not that long ago, kids played multiple sports at their local school and it was mostly about fun, learning skills, and being with friends. But today, it often feels like you have to “choose one sport,” join a competitive club, train year-round, travel constantly, and chase a scholarship—starting in elementary school. That pressure can turn sports from something healthy into something consuming.

But before we even talk strategy, we have to talk about heart posture. Many of us are parenting out of baggage we’ve never named. Maybe you had a coach who humiliated you. Maybe your parents were overly intense—or totally checked out. Maybe you were the star athlete and it fed pride. Or maybe you always felt like you were on the outside trying to prove yourself. Whatever your story is, it shapes how you respond to your kid’s wins, losses, effort, attitude, and mistakes.

So here’s the question that changes everything: Why do I care so much about my kid’s performance?

What does it “say about me” if they play well—or if they don’t? If you can’t answer that honestly, you’ll struggle to parent this area in a healthy way. Because we can’t lead our kids somewhere we haven’t gone ourselves.

Next, let’s talk expectations. A lot of sports culture sells a dream: “We’re going to get your kid a D1 scholarship.” But the odds are small. For many sports, only around 1–3% of high school athletes will reach that level. Most kids won’t—and that’s okay. The point of sports isn’t to build a résumé. It’s to build a person.

So what should our emphasis be?

Instead of obsessing over points, minutes, wins, and rankings, use sports to teach what matters in real life:

1. How to be a good teammate
2. How to celebrate others’ success
3. How to handle disappointment
4. How to respect authority (even when it’s imperfect)
5. How to show up, work hard, and not quit
6. How to build resilience after failure

These are character lessons your child will carry into friendships, future jobs, marriage, parenting, and faith.

And that leads to the biggest “moment” you need to get right: the post-game conversation.

Here’s a simple equation that can change your parenting:

Positive feedback + criticism = discouragement

Parents often think, “I’ll start with something positive, then mention what they need to improve.” But most kids don’t hear it that way. They hear the “but.” They leave the car ride feeling like they failed you—especially if they already feel pressure from coaches, teammates, or themselves.

Your job isn’t to be the assistant coach. Your job is to be the safe place.

That doesn’t mean you never talk about growth. It means you choose the right time and tone—and you stop piling on when your kid is already carrying weight. In the moment when emotions are high, your words should be steady, supportive, and encouraging.

And above everything, let your parenting mirror God’s heart toward you. God doesn’t love you based on performance. He doesn’t withhold affection when you fail. He’s compassionate, patient, and faithful.

Psalm 103 reminds us that the Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry, filled with unfailing love—He doesn’t constantly accuse, and He doesn’t deal harshly with us as we deserve. That’s the kind of spirit we want in our parenting, especially in the car ride home.

Sports can be fertile soil for discipleship—if we stop buying the lie that our kid has to be in the “1%” to matter. Your child’s identity isn’t “athlete.” That can be part of their story, but it doesn’t need to be the story.

The ultimate win isn’t a scholarship. It’s a kid who grows in character, stays grounded in Jesus, and learns how to live faithfully in the real world.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

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What Your Time Says About What You Truly Care About

Overview

We all have the same 24 hours in a day. How we spend those hours tells a powerful story—one that reveals our true priorities, passions, and commitments. It’s easy to say we value certain things—faith, family, health—but when we step back and take an honest look at how we actually spend our time, the truth becomes clear. Are we really living according to the values we claim to hold dear?

Time Is the Ultimate Indicator of Priority

Think about it: if someone tracked your daily routine for a week, what would they discover? Maybe they’d find that your evenings are filled with sports practices, Netflix binges, or endless scrolling on your phone. Church attendance or involvement might fall down the list with sports tourneys for the kids, camping on the weekends or other vacations. Maybe work consumes your days and fatigue takes your nights. None of these are inherently bad—but when they take up the bulk of our time, we have to ask: What’s being left out?

From Habits of the Household — Justin Whitmel Earley

“Moments aggregate, and they become memories and tradition. Our routines become who we are, become the story and culture of our families.

“Think of it like this: when it comes to spiritual formation, our households are not simply products of what we teach and say. They are much more products of what we practice and do.” These habits of the household are giving our children windows into what we mean when we talk about faith.

“The liturgical lens allows us to see all of our normal moments for what they really are: moments of worship to someone or something.”

The Time Budget Exercise

One of the most eye-opening exercises you can do is create a "time budget". Just like a financial budget shows you where your money goes, a time budget breaks down how you spend the 168 hours in your week. Include everything: sleep, work, meals, commutes, entertainment, family time, exercise, screen time—and yes, time with God.

Take time to do a time breakdown of a month. Think of all that you do in a day and in a week.

What Does Your Time Budget Reveal?

Once you've created your time budget, take a step back and look at it. Ask yourself:

1. What gets the most hours?
2. What gets squeezed in?
3. What gets neglected entirely?
4. And most importantly: Where does God fit in your week?

The expectation isn’t to say you should spend hours in prayer and Bible reading a day, but a good question to ask is, “How much time does God get?” It’s about recognizing whether your relationship with God is being treated as a priority or an afterthought.

A Call to Choose

In Joshua 24:14–15, Joshua challenges the people of Israel to make a decision:

“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness… But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve... But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua's words are a reminder that faithfulness requires intention. You don’t accidentally serve God with your life—you choose to. And that choice is reflected in how you spend your time.

Adjusting the Budget

If your time budget reveals that God is getting your leftovers, don’t be discouraged—make a change. Just like with a financial budget, adjustments are possible. Maybe it means starting your morning with prayer instead of scrolling. Maybe it’s carving out time in your week for church, Bible study, or serving others.

Reallocating your time is about aligning your daily rhythms with what (and Who) matters most.

Final Thought

The truth is simple: how you spend your time is how you spend your life. And your life is shaped by your priorities.

If God is truly important to you, let it show up in your schedule. Not just in theory—but in practice, day by day, hour by hour.

Scripture

Deuteronomy 6:5–9

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

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Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Field Guide for Parents: The Digital World and Your Kids

If you’re a parent today, you’re raising kids in a world you didn’t grow up in. Smartphones. Social media. Gaming communities. Private messaging. Endless scrolling. And the truth is, most of us are trying to parent through technology we don’t fully understand—while our kids often understand it better than we do.

In this episode, Tracy teams up with her son AJ (almost 23) to offer a “field guide” for navigating the digital world with your kids. AJ grew up in the smartphone/social media era and shares what he’s learned—both from experience and from research. They call it a cautionary tale, not because parents should panic, but because parents should wake up.

Here’s the big idea: a smartphone isn’t just a phone. It’s a powerful tool with access to an entire universe—and a lot of that universe is unfiltered, unsafe, and deeply shaping.

The Pressure Is Real—But So Is the Danger

Parents feel the pressure early. Today, many kids are getting smartphones in elementary school. And when “everyone has one,” kids start to feel like they’ll be left out socially if they don’t.

AJ shares that this pressure isn’t just about having a device—it’s about access to the communication apps everyone uses. If your kid isn’t on the group chat or the app the team uses, they can feel isolated.

But here’s the problem: social pressure is not a good reason to hand your child a tool they aren’t ready to handle.

Start With the Right Question: Is My Kid Ready for the Responsibility?

A better question than “When should my kid get a phone?” is: Is my child ready for this responsibility?

There are phone options that allow for basic communication without opening the floodgates of social media, porn, and endless content. Parents can start with a “dumb phone” and treat it like training wheels.

AJ compares it to driving a car: you don’t hand your kid the keys and hope for the best. You teach them. You supervise. You build habits. You set boundaries. You require trust and responsibility over time.

Boundaries Aren’t About Control—They’re About Protection

If you decide to give your child a phone, boundaries matter.

Some practical boundaries include:

1. Screen time limits (and learning delayed gratification)
2. No phone in the bedroom at night
3. Charging phones in a public place
4. No phone use until homework/chores are done
5. Parents know passwords and have full access
6. Regular conversations about what your child is doing online

The goal isn’t to micromanage forever. The goal is to train your child to be wise and self-controlled before they’re fully on their own.

The Hidden Dangers Most Parents Miss

This episode also highlights the “hidden dangers” that many parents don’t realize until it’s too late:

1) Algorithms

Social media apps are designed to learn what your child likes and then feed them more of it—often in addictive cycles. What starts as “normal” can quickly become a constant stream of harmful content.

2) Comparison Culture

Social media trains kids to compare their life to everyone else’s highlight reel. This fuels insecurity, anxiety, depression, and identity confusion—especially for young women.

3) Private Messaging & Predators

Many apps (including gaming communities) allow private conversations. Kids can be groomed, manipulated, bullied, catfished, or blackmailed by people pretending to be someone they’re not.

4) Sexual Content

One of the most urgent warnings is exposure to sexual content and pornography, which can happen shockingly early. AJ emphasizes that kids are not neurologically equipped to handle this—and it can shape their brains, desires, and relationships for years.

A Simple Framework for Different Ages

To help parents think strategically, the episode ends with a framework:

1. Elementary School: focus on obedience and trust (if any phone, start basic)
2. Middle School: focus on wisdom and self-control (strong boundaries, high caution)
3. High School: focus on ownership and integrity (preparing for adulthood)

And above all: don’t assume “everyone else is doing it” means you should too.

A Biblical Lens for Digital Parenting

The episode closes with a reminder that Christian parenting is countercultural. God’s people don’t follow the world’s patterns just because they’re common. We protect our kids, shepherd their hearts, and help them grow in wisdom.

Romans 12:2 (NLT) says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.”

Parents, this conversation is not about fear. It’s about discernment. Your child’s heart, mind, and future are too valuable to leave to the wild west of the internet.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Conflict Is Inevitable — How You Handle It Matters

Every couple has disagreements. The goal isn’t to avoid them but to handle them wisely. A great way to do that is to schedule time each week to talk about just one area of conflict. Don’t wait for an argument to erupt — plan ahead and talk calmly.

Proverbs 12:18

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 18:2

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

Psalm 19:14

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

The “State of the Union” Meeting

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman calls this a “State of the Union” meeting. It’s a weekly check-in where couples intentionally connect, celebrate what’s going well, and address one ongoing issue before it grows. Gottman’s research shows that couples who make this a regular habit have much stronger emotional bonds and far fewer destructive arguments.

Start with Positivity

Start by locking off one hour in your week. Before you talk about the tough stuff, begin by sharing five compliments about your spouse. This step softens the atmosphere and reminds you both that you’re allies, not enemies.

Focus on One Issue

Then, pick one issue to discuss. Decide who will start as the speaker and who will be the listener. After the first person shares, switch roles. The goal isn’t to “win” — it’s to understand and connect.

How to Stay Emotionally Connected: ATTUNE

To keep the conversation healthy, remember the word ATTUNE:

A – Be Aware: Notice your emotions, tone, and body language — and your spouse’s.

T – Be Tolerant: Respect your spouse’s viewpoint, even if you disagree.

T – Turn Toward Each Other: Stay engaged instead of withdrawing or attacking.

U – Understand: Seek to truly understand before offering solutions.

N – Non-defensive Listening: Listen without correcting, interrupting, or defending yourself.

E – Empathy: Try to feel what your spouse feels and validate their experience.

When Conflict Becomes an Opportunity

When couples consistently ATTUNE during their weekly “State of the Union” time, they build trust, emotional safety, and intimacy. Conflict stops being a threat and becomes an opportunity to grow closer together.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

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Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Talking with Teens About Sexuality: Discipling Kids in a Confusing World

Teens today are growing up in a world flooded with messages about identity, intimacy, and sexuality. From social media feeds and streaming shows to school hallways and group chats, culture is constantly catechizing them—often long before parents or mentors realize it. That leaves adults with a choice: avoid the conversation out of fear or discomfort, or step into it with honesty, compassion, and biblical truth.

In Talking with Teens about Sexuality, counselor Beth Robinson and Latayne C. Scott offer a much-needed roadmap for navigating one of the most intimidating areas of discipleship. Rather than promoting fear-based rules or one-time lectures, the authors equip parents and mentors to engage in thoughtful, ongoing conversations about sex, identity, relationships, boundaries, pornography, dating, gender, and online influences.

A key insight of the book is this: teens aren’t just battling hormones—they’re battling an entire culture that is shaping their beliefs every single day. Algorithms are discipling them. Influencers are normalizing behaviors. Entertainment is redefining identity and intimacy. If Christian adults remain silent or reactive, they shouldn’t be surprised when culture becomes the loudest voice in a teen’s life.

Robinson and Scott insist that intentionality is essential. Parents don’t need to have all the answers, but they do need to be present, informed, and emotionally available. Teens are far more likely to listen when they feel understood rather than lectured. That’s why the book repeatedly emphasizes listening before teaching, empathy before correction, and relationship before instruction.

Another strength of the book is how it reframes God’s design for sexuality. Instead of presenting biblical boundaries as arbitrary rules meant to limit freedom, Robinson and Scott show how Scripture presents them as gifts meant to protect dignity, foster trust, and lead to wholeness. Teens are desperate for a vision of sexuality that offers hope rather than shame—and the Bible provides exactly that.

The authors are also realistic. They acknowledge that parents cannot control everything their teens encounter. Pornography, sexualized content, and identity-driven messaging are nearly unavoidable in today’s digital world. But while parents can’t control the culture, they can guide their teens through it. They can create homes where hard questions are welcomed, mistakes are met with grace, and truth is spoken clearly and lovingly.

Ultimately, Talking with Teens about Sexuality is not just a parenting manual—it’s a discipleship guide. It reminds us that shaping a teen’s view of sexuality is inseparable from shaping their understanding of God, identity, and purpose. When parents and mentors stay engaged, humble, and gospel-centered, their influence remains far more powerful than they might realize.

We may not get to choose the world our teens grow up in—but by God’s grace, we do get to walk with them through it.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Topic Summary

Every couple comes into marriage with expectations. Some are spoken, but many are unspoken—and that’s where conflict often begins. Our expectations are shaped by childhood, culture, and our inner dialogue. If we’re not intentional, these expectations can weigh down our relationship instead of building it up.

Think back to your family of origin. What roles did your parents play—or fail to play? How might those experiences shape your current expectations of your spouse? In the book, Marriage Forecasting by Tim Muehlhoff says, when frustrations come, ask yourself: “Who is in the room with me?” In other words, what past examples are influencing how I see my marriage today.

Ground Rules for Sharing Expectations

1. Practice gentle honesty.
2. Avoid judgment. Your spouse isn’t a mindreader
3. Be curious listeners, not defensive.

Scripture Insight

The Bible gives us a better way. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Paul describes love as patient, kind, and not easily irritated. Love doesn’t assume or demand—it chooses to give. That means healthy marriages require us to talk about expectations instead of hoping our spouse will just figure them out.

We also need grace. None of us are perfect spouses. God models patience and forgiveness toward us (Colossians 3:12), and He calls us to extend the same grace to each other.

Takeaway

Marriage is a lifelong journey of discovery. As you share expectations and show grace, you’ll keep learning about each other and eventually know one another well enough to anticipate needs and support each other. Muehlhoff refers to this process as growing into soulmates, so enjoy the journey!

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Is My Child Ready to Get Baptized?

Key Verse: “For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” — Galatians 3:26 NLT

Christian parents love the idea of seeing their kids publicly declare faith in Jesus. It’s a meaningful moment—one filled with hope, joy, and deep spiritual significance. But baptism isn’t simply a milestone or a ritual. It’s a public declaration of an internal reality, and that means readiness matters. Today’s article will help you discern whether your child truly understands the gospel and is prepared to take this important step.

Understanding Baptism: What It Is—and What It Isn’t

The Bible makes it clear: baptism is a symbol, not salvation. Paul says, “For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized…” Colossians 2:12 NLT. This outward act points to an inward faith that only God can produce. Kids don’t need to grasp deep theology, but they do need a basic understanding of the gospel—who Jesus is, what He did, and why they personally need Him.

Parents often feel pressure to “get the moment right,” but baptism shouldn’t be rushed. God does heart-work in His timing. Your role is to guide, teach, and shepherd—not push a child into a spiritual step they’re not ready to take.

1. Does My Child Understand the Gospel?

A child ready for baptism can explain—in their own words—three simple truths:

• Who Jesus is
• What He did on the cross
• Why they personally need Him

Romans 10:9 (NLT) says, “If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart… you will be saved.” You’re not looking for seminary-level answers but for personal, heartfelt faith. A red flag is motivation rooted in peer pressure: “My friends are doing it” or “It seems cool.” Baptism is a response to Jesus—not to social influence.

2. Is My Child Following Jesus in Simple, Real Ways?

Before baptism, you’ll often see the early signs of discipleship:

• They pray on their own.
• They ask spiritual questions.
• They show simple conviction when they sin.

These glimpses of spiritual life point to what Paul describes: “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT. Perfection isn’t the goal—spiritual growth is. If your child shows a tender heart toward God, that’s a meaningful sign.

3. Is This Their Decision?

A child must want baptism for themselves—not to please a parent or leader. Ask:

“Why do YOU want to get baptized?”

Scripture encourages personal reflection: “Let each one examine themselves…” 1 Corinthians 11:28 NLT. Listen carefully. Genuine readiness sounds like ownership, not obligation. Celebrate interest, but avoid manufacturing enthusiasm.

4. Do They Understand What Baptism Represents?

Baptism is a picture of the gospel:

• Going under water = dying to the old life
• Coming out of water = rising with Jesus

Romans 6:4 (NLT) puts it this way: “We died and were buried with Christ by baptism…” Using simple metaphors helps: a wedding ring, a team jersey, even a before-and-after picture. Kids don’t need complexity—just clarity.

What About Age?

Scripture never sets an age requirement. What matters is understanding and personal faith. Many churches set practical guidelines (often around age 7–8), not as biblical rules but as markers of typical comprehension. Preschoolers may express sincere love for Jesus yet lack the ability to articulate sin, repentance, or the meaning of baptism. Remember: delay is often discipleship, not denial.

What If My Child Isn’t Ready?

You are not failing—and your child isn’t behind. Spiritual readiness grows naturally through:

• Conversations at home
• Reading Scripture together
• Modeling faith
• Showing grace when they mess up

Baptism is a celebration, not a deadline. Trust that God is already working in your child’s heart.

When Your Child Is Ready

If the signs of readiness are clear, take these next steps:

• Schedule a conversation with a pastor or ministry leader.
• Let your child share their faith story in their own words.
• Prepare for the day—invite family, practice their testimony, and celebrate well.

A meaningful baptism comes from genuine faith—not pressure, comparison, or hurry.

Closing Thought

Baptism is a beautiful moment, but it’s not the moment that saves. Jesus does that. Your job as a parent is to guide your child patiently, prayerfully, and biblically—and to celebrate joyfully when they’re truly ready to make their faith public.

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Attachment theory is one of the most studied and trusted frameworks in relational psychology. It was developed by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth. At its core, it explains how the earliest bonds we form with our caregivers shape the way we understand love and connection later in life. As children, the consistency—or inconsistency—of a caregiver’s attention and responsiveness teaches us how to view ourselves and others. Those early impressions don’t disappear; they resurface in adulthood, often getting triggered in the context of our romantic relationships.

Attachment Types

• Secure: A secure attachment means you can trust that the people you love will be there for you. It forms when, as a child, your caregiver consistently responded to your needs with care and reliability. That steady presence builds confidence that you are worthy of love and that others can be trusted. As an adult, secure attachment shows up as the ability to build healthy, balanced relationships—where closeness feels safe, independence isn’t threatening, and conflict doesn’t shake the foundation of trust.
• Anxious Attachment: Anxious attachment develops when love feels uncertain or inconsistent. As children, those with anxious attachment often had caregivers who were sometimes responsive and other times distracted or unavailable. This unpredictability creates confusion and insecurity about whether their needs will be met. As adults, people with an anxious attachment style tend to crave closeness but fear abandonment, which can lead to clinginess, overanalyzing, or difficulty trusting their partner’s commitment. 
• Avoidant Attachment: Avoidant attachment develops when closeness feels unsafe or unnecessary. As children, those with this style often had caregivers who were emotionally distant, neglectful, or dismissive of their needs. To cope, they learned to rely on themselves and minimize their need for comfort or support. As adults, people with avoidant attachment tend to value independence so highly that intimacy can feel uncomfortable or even threatening. They may pull away when relationships get too close, struggle to express emotions, or downplay the importance of love altogether. 

The Attachment Alarm

When your partner feels distant or inconsistent, your “attachment system” goes off. This is the brain’s way of monitoring whether you are safe and secure in the relationship. Anxious attachments are particularly sensitive to this.

 Once activated, the anxious will engage in protest behaviors which means doing whatever it takes to feel safe again (calling, what’s wrong, imagination runs wild). If an avoidant, you will likely push away and might think your spouse is overreacting and can be uncompromising

Can You Change Your Attachment Style?

Yes. Attachment styles aren’t set in stone. Research shows that when your need for intimacy is consistently met and reciprocated by your partner, your satisfaction rises, and you can move toward security. A secure relationship provides the stability that allows both partners to grow in trust and intimacy. It requires selflessness, introspection and teachability. 

Ephesians 5:25-26 “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.”

‭1 Corinthians 13:4-5 ““Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.”

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

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Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Many couples believe that divorce comes from big, explosive issues—infidelity, money problems, or major betrayals. But according to renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman, it's often not the big things that break a marriage. It's the small, everyday moments—missed chances to connect—that slowly build up into bitterness and resentment over time.

What Is a “Bid” for Connection?

Gottman calls these small moments “bids.” A bid is any attempt from one partner to get attention, affection, affirmation, or support from the other. Bids can be loud or quiet, obvious or subtle.

Examples:

• “How do I look?” (Translation: Can I have your attention?)
• “Getting the kids to bed is hard.” (Translation: Can I have your help?)
• A spouse sitting down next to you on the couch. (Translation: Can I be near you?)

Whether you notice these bids and how you respond to them will shape the health of your marriage—far more than you might think.

The 3 Ways to Respond to a Bid

Every time your spouse makes a bid for connection, you have three ways to respond. Over time, your pattern of responses becomes the emotional climate of your relationship.

1. Turning Toward

This is the healthy response. When you turn toward a bid, you engage with your partner’s attempt to connect. It could be as simple as answering their question, offering a smile, or stopping what you're doing to give them your attention.

Example:

Spouse: “Look at this funny video.”

Turning Toward: “Haha! That’s great. Show me another.”

What it does: Builds trust, intimacy, and love. Each “turning toward” moment is like a small deposit in the bank account of your marriage.

Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”

Kind responses create peace and connection.

2. Turning Away

This is the neutral-to-negative response. You ignore the bid, act distracted, or give a half-hearted answer.

Example:

Spouse: “Can we talk after dinner?”

Turning Away: “Uh-huh…” (while scrolling your phone)

What it does: Over time, this makes your partner feel invisible or unimportant. They may stop reaching out altogether.

Philippians 2:4 – “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

Marriage thrives when both spouses make each other a priority.

3. Turning Against

This is the harmful response. You react with sarcasm, criticism, or irritation. It not only ignores the bid, but also shuts it down in a hurtful way.

Example:

Spouse: “This parenting stuff is exhausting.”

Turning Against: “Well, maybe if you were more organized and less lazy, it wouldn’t be so hard.”

What it does: This breeds contempt and emotional distance. It's one of the strongest predictors of divorce in Gottman’s research.

Ephesians 4:29 – “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

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The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

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Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

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Gentle Parenting has gained significant popularity in recent years as a parenting philosophy rooted in empathy, emotional connection, and positive discipline. It’s roots come from Alfred AdlerAdvocates promote its compassionate, respectful approach to child-rearing as an alternative to authoritarian or punitive parenting styles. While aspects of gentle parenting align with biblical calls for kindness, patience, and love, there are significant theological and biblical concerns that challenge some of its foundational assumptions. This article explores the principles of gentle parenting, the underlying views about human nature, and examines where it diverges from biblical truth from an evangelical perspective.

The Principles of Gentle Parenting

At its core, gentle parenting emphasizes a few key principles:

1. Connection Over Control: Gentle parenting prioritizes forming a strong emotional bond with the child over exerting control. It believes that a connected parent-child relationship is the foundation for healthy behavior, promoting cooperation rather than compliance based on fear.
2. Empathy and Emotional Awareness: Gentle parenting encourages parents to understand and validate their children’s emotions. The idea is that emotional intelligence and self-regulation come through modeling empathy, not through punishment or suppression of emotions.
3. Positive Discipline: Gentle parenting replaces punitive measures (like spanking or time-outs) with positive discipline. Misbehavior is viewed as an opportunity to teach and guide rather than punish. Natural consequences and open communication are favored over strict rules or punishments.
4. Respect for Autonomy: This philosophy treats children as autonomous individuals deserving of the same respect as adults. Children are given choices and involved in decision-making processes, even from a young age, to foster a sense of independence.
5. Modeling Desired Behavior: Parents are encouraged to model the behaviors they wish to see in their children. Instead of disciplining through authority, parents demonstrate patience, kindness, and self-control, expecting their children to learn by example.

Underlying Assumptions About Human Nature

The principles of gentle parenting rest on certain assumptions about human nature that, while appealing, often conflict with the Bible’s teachings on humanity’s fallen state and the need for discipline. Biblical parenting embraces the timeless truth of God’s Word instead of the changing ideas of popular culture. When evaluating Gentle Parenting, be sure to do it through the lens of the Bible.

1. Children: Inherently Good or Sinful?

One of the main assumptions behind gentle parenting is that children are inherently good or morally neutral. Misbehavior is often viewed as a result of unmet needs, developmental immaturity, or a lack of understanding. This view suggests that with enough nurturing, empathy, and guidance, children will naturally grow into compassionate, well-behaved individuals.

The Bible teaches that all humans, including children, are born with a sinful nature. Psalm 51:5 says, “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” Romans 3:23 declares that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” While gentle parenting tends to see misbehavior as primarily situational or developmental, the Bible is clear that rebellion, defiance, and disobedience are manifestations of the sin nature present in all of us.

Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him

Therefore, while it is important to nurture and guide children, parents must also recognize the need for correction and discipline to address sin. Failing to acknowledge the sinful tendencies of children can lead to permissiveness and a neglect of the God-given responsibility to train children in righteousness.

2. Authority: Autonomy or Submission?

Another key assumption is that children are autonomous individuals whose choices should be respected as much as possible. Gentle parenting promotes the idea that children’s autonomy should be honored, and their opinions and preferences should be given weight, even from an early age. The focus is on collaboration rather than control.

The Bible calls for children to submit to their parents’ authority (Ephesians 6:1) and for parents to exercise authority in love. God has established the family with clear roles and responsibilities, and parental authority is part of His design for the family structure. 

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 

Gentle parenting, with its emphasis on collaboration and autonomy, can unintentionally undermine the biblical concept of authority, which teaches that children are to learn obedience and respect for their parents.

In contrast to the idea that children’s autonomy should be prioritized, Scripture instructs parents to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). This involves not just nurturing but also setting clear boundaries and requiring obedience as part of spiritual formation.

3. Discipline: Cruel or Loving?

Gentle parenting operates on the belief that discipline should not involve punitive measures that cause pain, discomfort, or emotional distress. Instead of consequences that might bring short-term discomfort, gentle parenting advocates for teaching and guiding in ways that maintain the child’s sense of emotional safety and comfort.

The Bible consistently teaches that discipline, including corrective discipline, is an essential aspect of parenting. Proverbs 13:24 states, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” Hebrews 12:6 affirms, “The Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.”

Discipline is a form of love and care, not cruelty. It helps children learn the consequences of sin and rebellion and points them toward godly behavior. Gentle parenting’s emphasis on avoiding punishment or discomfort at all costs can leave children without the necessary boundaries and correction they need to grow in wisdom and godliness.

“But misuse shouldn’t prevent right use. The presence of some dangerous drivers on the roads shouldn’t put a stop to all driving, and the existence of some abusive parents shouldn’t stop other parents from using punishment rightly”. Gospel coalition

Proverbs 3:11-12 My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.

Takeaway

Gentle parenting offers a compassionate and empathetic approach to child-rearing that resonates with some biblical principles, such as kindness, patience, and love. However, from an evangelical perspective, its foundational assumptions about human nature, authority, and discipline fall short of the Bible’s teachings. Scripture teaches that children, like all humans, are born with a sinful nature and that discipline, including correction, is a vital part of their moral and spiritual formation.

While parents should always aim to model Christlike love and grace, they must also embrace their God-given authority to train, correct, and discipline their children. True biblical parenting incorporates both grace and truth, just as God deals with His children—with both lovingkindness and firm discipline.

--

The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

--

Parenting is one of the most important roles in a person’s life, and it significantly shapes the development and well-being of children. Over the years, psychologists and researchers have identified four primary parenting styles, each characterized by different levels of warmth, control, and communication. Understanding these styles can help parents recognize the potential outcomes of their approaches and make more informed decisions about how they raise their children. See this article. 

The four main parenting styles are:

1. Authoritarian Parenting
2. Authoritative Parenting
3. Permissive Parenting
4. Uninvolved Parenting

Each of these styles affects children differently, influencing their emotional, social, and cognitive development.

1. Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parents are often seen as strict, controlling, and demanding. They set high expectations for their children, emphasizing obedience and discipline above all else. Communication tends to be one-sided, with little room for dialogue or flexibility. Rules are enforced with little explanation, and punishment is used as a means to maintain control.

• Key Characteristics:
• High demands and expectations
• Low responsiveness to the child’s emotional needs
• Emphasis on obedience and discipline
• Limited communication and explanation of rules
• Effects on Children: Children raised by authoritarian parents often develop a strong sense of discipline and respect for authority but may also struggle with self-esteem and decision-making. They may become either overly submissive or rebellious, depending on their temperament. Social skills can be underdeveloped, as they may not feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings openly.
• Biblical Response: Authoritarian parenting emphasizes strict rules and discipline, often with little room for discussion. While discipline is important, Scripture also encourages understanding and wisdom in its application.
• Ephesians 6:4 – "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
• Colossians 3:21 – "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."

2. Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is widely regarded as the most effective and balanced style. Parents who adopt this approach set clear expectations and rules for their children but are also nurturing, supportive, and responsive. They encourage open communication, explain the reasons behind rules, and allow for age-appropriate independence. Discipline is used to guide and teach, rather than to punish.

• Key Characteristics:
• High demands but balanced with high responsiveness
• Open communication and explanation of rules
• Encouragement of independence and decision-making
• Use of positive discipline strategies
• Effects on Children: Children of authoritative parents tend to have higher self-esteem, better social skills, and greater emotional regulation. They are more likely to perform well academically, develop good problem-solving skills, and establish healthy relationships with others. This style fosters both respect for authority and the confidence to assert their own thoughts and feelings.
• Biblical Response: Authoritative parenting is characterized by a balance of discipline, love, and communication. This approach aligns closely with the biblical model of nurturing and guiding children while setting clear expectations.
• Proverbs 22:6 – "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it."
• Hebrews 12:11 – "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
• Deuteronomy 6:6-7 – "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

3. Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are lenient, often giving their children considerable freedom and few rules. While they are highly responsive and nurturing, they avoid setting limits or enforcing discipline. Permissive parents prioritize their children’s happiness and often allow them to make their own decisions, regardless of their maturity level.

• Key Characteristics:
• Low demands with high responsiveness
• Few rules and minimal discipline
• Emphasis on nurturing and indulgence
• Children have significant freedom in decision-making
• Effects on Children: Children raised by permissive parents may struggle with self-control and responsibility, as they are not accustomed to structure or boundaries. While they may develop strong self-esteem due to the high levels of parental warmth, they may also have difficulties with authority and discipline later in life. They may be more prone to behavioral problems and struggle with achieving long-term goals due to a lack of discipline.
• Biblical Response: Permissive parenting focuses on nurturing and love but often lacks boundaries or discipline. While the Bible teaches the importance of love, it also warns that children need guidance and discipline to grow into responsible adults.
• Proverbs 13:24 – "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."
• Proverbs 29:15 – "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother."

4. Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting, also known as neglectful parenting, is characterized by a lack of both responsiveness and demands. Parents who adopt this style are often detached or indifferent, providing minimal emotional support or guidance. While uninvolved parents may meet basic physical needs, such as food and shelter, they are generally disengaged from their children’s lives.

• Key Characteristics:
• Low demands and low responsiveness
• Minimal interaction and communication
• Little emotional involvement or nurturing
• Lack of structure, rules, or discipline
• Effects on Children: Children raised by uninvolved parents tend to struggle with self-esteem, academic achievement, and emotional regulation. They often feel neglected and unworthy of attention, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and difficulty forming relationships. These children may also face behavioral issues and exhibit a lack of self-discipline, as they grow up without clear guidance or support.
• Biblical Response: Uninvolved parenting is characterized by neglect or indifference, where parents fail to provide both guidance and emotional support. Scripture speaks strongly against neglecting children and emphasizes the responsibility of parents to nurture and guide their children.
• 1 Timothy 5:8 – "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
• Deuteronomy 6:1-3 (NLT) 1 “These are the commands, decrees, and regulations that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you. You must obey them in the land you are about to enter and occupy, 2 and you and your children and grandchildren must fear the LORD your God as long as you live. If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life. 3 Listen closely, Israel, and be careful to obey. Then all will go well with you, and you will have many children in the land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you.
• Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NLT) 4 “Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul,...]]>In this episode, we explore the four main parenting styles—authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved—and look at how each one impacts children, while offering biblical wisdom to help parents raise kids God’s way.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Parenting is one of the most important roles in a person’s life, and it significantly shapes the development and well-being of children. Over the years, psychologists and researchers have identified four primary parenting styles, each characterized by different levels of warmth, control, and communication. Understanding these styles can help parents recognize the potential outcomes of their approaches and make more informed decisions about how they raise their children. See this article. 

  The four main parenting styles are:

  1. Authoritarian Parenting
  2. Authoritative Parenting
  3. Permissive Parenting
  4. Uninvolved Parenting
  
  

  Each of these styles affects children differently, influencing their emotional, social, and cognitive development.

  1. Authoritarian Parenting

  Authoritarian parents are often seen as strict, controlling, and demanding. They set high expectations for their children, emphasizing obedience and discipline above all else. Communication tends to be one-sided, with little room for dialogue or flexibility. Rules are enforced with little explanation, and punishment is used as a means to maintain control.

  • Key Characteristics:
  • High demands and expectations
  • Low responsiveness to the child’s emotional needs
  • Emphasis on obedience and discipline
  • Limited communication and explanation of rules
  • Effects on Children: Children raised by authoritarian parents often develop a strong sense of discipline and respect for authority but may also struggle with self-esteem and decision-making. They may become either overly submissive or rebellious, depending on their temperament. Social skills can be underdeveloped, as they may not feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings openly.
  • Biblical Response: Authoritarian parenting emphasizes strict rules and discipline, often with little room for discussion. While discipline is important, Scripture also encourages understanding and wisdom in its application.
  • Ephesians 6:4 – "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
  • Colossians 3:21 – "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."
  
  

  2. Authoritative Parenting

  Authoritative parenting is widely regarded as the most effective and balanced style. Parents who adopt this approach set clear expectations and rules for their children but are also nurturing, supportive, and responsive. They encourage open communication, explain the reasons behind rules, and allow for age-appropriate independence. Discipline is used to guide and teach, rather than to punish.

  • Key Characteristics:
  • High demands but balanced with high responsiveness
  • Open communication and explanation of rules
  • Encouragement of independence and decision-making
  • Use of positive discipline strategies
  • Effects on Children: Children of authoritative parents tend to have higher self-esteem, better social skills, and greater emotional regulation. They are more likely to perform well academically, develop good problem-solving skills, and establish healthy relationships with others. This style fosters both respect for authority and the confidence to assert their own thoughts and feelings.
  • Biblical Response: Authoritative parenting is characterized by a balance of discipline, love, and communication. This approach aligns closely with the biblical model of nurturing and guiding children while setting clear expectations.
  • Proverbs 22:6 – "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it."
  • Hebrews 12:11 – "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
  • Deuteronomy 6:6-7 – "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."
  
  

  3. Permissive Parenting

  Permissive parents are lenient, often giving their children considerable freedom and few rules. While they are highly responsive and nurturing, they avoid setting limits or enforcing discipline. Permissive parents prioritize their children’s happiness and often allow them to make their own decisions, regardless of their maturity level.

  • Key Characteristics:
  • Low demands with high responsiveness
  • Few rules and minimal discipline
  • Emphasis on nurturing and indulgence
  • Children have significant freedom in decision-making
  • Effects on Children: Children raised by permissive parents may struggle with self-control and responsibility, as they are not accustomed to structure or boundaries. While they may develop strong self-esteem due to the high levels of parental warmth, they may also have difficulties with authority and discipline later in life. They may be more prone to behavioral problems and struggle with achieving long-term goals due to a lack of discipline.
  • Biblical Response: Permissive parenting focuses on nurturing and love but often lacks boundaries or discipline. While the Bible teaches the importance of love, it also warns that children need guidance and discipline to grow into responsible adults.
  • Proverbs 13:24 – "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."
  • Proverbs 29:15 – "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother."
  
  

  4. Uninvolved Parenting

  Uninvolved parenting, also known as neglectful parenting, is characterized by a lack of both responsiveness and demands. Parents who adopt this style are often detached or indifferent, providing minimal emotional support or guidance. While uninvolved parents may meet basic physical needs, such as food and shelter, they are generally disengaged from their children’s lives.

  • Key Characteristics:
  • Low demands and low responsiveness
  • Minimal interaction and communication
  • Little emotional involvement or nurturing
  • Lack of structure, rules, or discipline
  • Effects on Children: Children raised by uninvolved parents tend to struggle with self-esteem, academic achievement, and emotional regulation. They often feel neglected and unworthy of attention, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and difficulty forming relationships. These children may also face behavioral issues and exhibit a lack of self-discipline, as they grow up without clear guidance or support.
  • Biblical Response: Uninvolved parenting is characterized by neglect or indifference, where parents fail to provide both guidance and emotional support. Scripture speaks strongly against neglecting children and emphasizes the responsibility of parents to nurture and guide their children.
  • 1 Timothy 5:8 – "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
  • Deuteronomy 6:1-3 (NLT) 1 “These are the commands, decrees, and regulations that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you. You must obey them in the land you are about to enter and occupy, 2 and you and your children and grandchildren must fear the LORD your God as long as you live. If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life. 3 Listen closely, Israel, and be careful to obey. Then all will go well with you, and you will have many children in the land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you.
  • Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NLT) 4 “Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
  
  

  Takeaway

  Ultimately, the Bible calls parents to reflect God’s own character in their parenting. God is both our loving Father and wise Teacher. As parents, we are called to model this dual role—being both compassionate and authoritative, nurturing our children while guiding them toward righteousness. By seeking God’s wisdom and relying on His grace, we can raise our children in a way that honors Him and helps them grow into faithful followers of Christ.

  ]]>b2a5c731-8c53-4c56-b437-c7f0ad1c07f2Thu, 02 Oct 2025 05:00:00 -060018:17falsefullWhat is Purity? - Fight Club“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

  Ephesians 5:3

  We should be pure because God calls us to be. 

  This is the mindset we need to pursue. It isn’t out of fear of consequences, hope for a better future, or anything else. It needs to be out of love and respect for God and his standards. But we will get into that more tomorrow.

  The question for today is, what is purity? 

  It is ensuring there is not even a hint of sexual immorality in our lives.

  That is a pretty high standard, and it can feel daunting to achieve that especially if you have been living in this sin for a while. I know I felt like that was an impossible task when I started this journey. But then I learned something that changed everything:

  This battle is not about what you do, it’s about who you are becoming.

  Sexual purity isn’t just about avoiding porn or staying away from the wrong websites. That’s surface-level thinking. This journey isn’t about what you do—it’s about finally being the man God calls you to be. And God is calling you to become a man of honor, discipline, and integrity. Sexual purity is the byproduct of a life that belongs fully to Jesus.

  The truth is, we live in a world that constantly puts sex in our faces—on our phones, in music, in ads, in movies. So living this new life will not be easy.

  You are going to have to make some sacrifices that will hurt.

  I know when I began this journey, two things were true:

  1. I was ready to do whatever it took
  2. I was sick of being lied to, by the enemy, by the world, and by myself
  
  

  So I’m not going to do that to you. Here is the honest truth: somedays, this is gonna suck. It’s going to hurt like hell and there will be moments where you will think life was better before.

  But remember how you feel right now, ready to be free. Purity is not a one time decision, it isn’t a one size fits all step by step guide, and it definitely isn’t a pay your way service. So what is it then?

  Purity is a daily pursuit of God.

  It is waking up everyday and deciding, just for today, to live for God and with God in every area of your life.

  Half measures and white knuckling it will not work, but you already know that.

  You can’t live in freedom if you're pretending you don’t need it.

  Begin the Process of Becoming a New Man

  Following Jesus means more than a one-time decision. It’s a daily process of surrender. Think of your heart like a house. Have you locked Jesus out of any rooms? Maybe there's a room marked “Lust” or “Shame” or “Private Struggles.” Jesus doesn't want visitation rights—He wants ownership.

  “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in...”

  — Revelation 3:20 (NLT)

  When Jesus knocks, He’s not just being polite. He’s coming to set you free. But freedom will require sacrifice, intensity, and honor. You won’t drift into purity—you’ll have to fight for it.

  The 3 Rules to Start With:

  No secrets.

  1. You can't heal what you hide.
  2. Be 100% honest all the time, no matter what
  
  

  No compromise. What you allow in small amounts will master you over time.

  1. In your allowed media, eye discipline, etc.
  2. In your consistency
  
  

  No excuses.

  1. This is a battle of consistency, you won’t win it in a day, but you have to win today.
  2. It’s time to be mature
  3. You are in control, any other idea is a lie
  
  

  The Key Disciplines to Embrace:

  • Daily time in God’s Word – Truth renews your mind.
  • Authentic brotherhood – You weren’t meant to fight alone.
  • Radical honesty – Say it out loud. Darkness dies in the light.
  • Prayer and worship – Not just in crisis, but as a lifestyle.
  • Fasting and boundaries – Train your body to follow your
  
  

  Mentioned in this episode:

  Outro

  Intro

  ]]>“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

  Ephesians 5:3

  We should be pure because God calls us to be. 

  This is the mindset we need to pursue. It isn’t out of fear of consequences, hope for a better future, or anything else. It needs to be out of love and respect for God and his standards. But we will get into that more tomorrow.

  The question for today is, what is purity? 

  It is ensuring there is not even a hint of sexual immorality in our lives.

  That is a pretty high standard, and it can feel daunting to achieve that especially if you have been living in this sin for a while. I know I felt like that was an impossible task when I started this journey. But then I learned something that changed everything:

  This battle is not about what you do, it’s about who you are becoming.

  Sexual purity isn’t just about avoiding porn or staying away from the wrong websites. That’s surface-level thinking. This journey isn’t about what you do—it’s about finally being the man God calls you to be. And God is calling you to become a man of honor, discipline, and integrity. Sexual purity is the byproduct of a life that belongs fully to Jesus.

  The truth is, we live in a world that constantly puts sex in our faces—on our phones, in music, in ads, in movies. So living this new life will not be easy.

  You are going to have to make some sacrifices that will hurt.

  I know when I began this journey, two things were true:

  1. I was ready to do whatever it took
  2. I was sick of being lied to, by the enemy, by the world, and by myself
  
  

  So I’m not going to do that to you. Here is the honest truth: somedays, this is gonna suck. It’s going to hurt like hell and there will be moments where you will think life was better before.

  But remember how you feel right now, ready to be free. Purity is not a one time decision, it isn’t a one size fits all step by step guide, and it definitely isn’t a pay your way service. So what is it then?

  Purity is a daily pursuit of God.

  It is waking up everyday and deciding, just for today, to live for God and with God in every area of your life.

  Half measures and white knuckling it will not work, but you already know that.

  You can’t live in freedom if you're pretending you don’t need it.

  Begin the Process of Becoming a New Man

  Following Jesus means more than a one-time decision. It’s a daily process of surrender. Think of your heart like a house. Have you locked Jesus out of any rooms? Maybe there's a room marked “Lust” or “Shame” or “Private Struggles.” Jesus doesn't want visitation rights—He wants ownership.

  “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in...”

  — Revelation 3:20 (NLT)

  When Jesus knocks, He’s not just being polite. He’s coming to set you free. But freedom will require sacrifice, intensity, and honor. You won’t drift into purity—you’ll have to fight for it.

  The 3 Rules to Start With:

  No secrets.

  1. You can't heal what you hide.
  2. Be 100% honest all the time, no matter what
  
  

  No compromise. What you allow in small amounts will master you over time.

  1. In your allowed media, eye discipline, etc.
  2. In your consistency
  
  

  No excuses.

  1. This is a battle of consistency, you won’t win it in a day, but you have to win today.
  2. It’s time to be mature
  3. You are in control, any other idea is a lie
  
  

  The Key Disciplines to Embrace:

  • Daily time in God’s Word – Truth renews your mind.
  • Authentic brotherhood – You weren’t meant to fight alone.
  • Radical honesty – Say it out loud. Darkness dies in the light.
  • Prayer and worship – Not just in crisis, but as a lifestyle.
  • Fasting and boundaries – Train your body to follow your
  
  

  Mentioned in this episode:

  Outro

  Intro

  ]]>a0a54746-2d53-4a42-8740-e515d437849aTue, 30 Sep 2025 09:20:00 -040036:38falsebonusA Battle Tested Guide to Conquering Lust - Fight ClubThis is a real life story from a real life dude dealing with real life lust.

  Mentioned in this episode:

  Intro

  Outro

  ]]>This is a real life story from a real life dude dealing with real life lust.

  Mentioned in this episode:

  Intro

  Outro

  ]]>05f71d1c-8579-4923-af63-7e1d9b8618e5Sun, 28 Sep 2025 09:00:00 -040044:39falsebonusThe Fundamental Law of ParentingIn this episode, we explore how biblical parenting is about more than rules—it’s about helping your kids move from “renting” values to truly owning a faith that lasts.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  The Principle of Ownership in Parenting: A Biblical Approach

  One of the greatest responsibilities a parent has is to raise children who are equipped to navigate the world with strong, biblically grounded values. A fundamental principle of parenting is the idea of “ownership”—that the ultimate goal is for our children to leave home with the values we have instilled in them firmly rooted in their hearts. This means moving from a phase where they "rent" these values—temporarily adopting them while under our guidance—to a place where they "own" them, making those values personal, enduring, and guiding their decisions as independent adults.

  The Biblical Foundation of Ownership

  Scripture provides a foundation for this principle, particularly in passages that emphasize training, teaching, and passing on faith to the next generation. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it." This well-known verse reflects the heart of biblical parenting—intentional training in godly ways. However, for this promise to hold true, children must internalize the faith and values taught to them. They must “own” these teachings so that they continue to live by them when parents are no longer watching.

  Moses also spoke about this principle in Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” The goal is not merely that children hear the commandments but that they become imprinted on their hearts. Moses was calling parents to make God’s truth a natural part of everyday life, ingraining it deeply in their children so that it would influence them long after they left their parents' homes.

  From Renters to Owners

  A crucial distinction for parents to understand is the difference between children being "renters" of values versus being "owners." As long as children are under our care, there is a temptation to assume that because they obey the rules, they are fully committed to the values behind those rules. However, rented values are often temporary—children follow them when it’s convenient, but they haven’t necessarily embraced them as their own. The danger is that when parents are no longer present to enforce those values, the children may abandon them.

  Ownership, on the other hand, happens when children take personal responsibility for their beliefs and decisions. When children “own” the values you’ve taught them, they continue to live by those values even when no one is watching. In Luke 6:45, Jesus says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” The values in their hearts will naturally influence their words and actions. True ownership transforms these values from external obligations into internal convictions.

  Practical Steps for Encouraging Ownership

  Model the Values You Want Them to Own

  Children learn by watching their parents. They may not always listen to what we say, but they closely observe how we live. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” As parents, we need to ensure that our lives reflect the values we desire for our children. If we want them to own biblical truth, we must first live it consistently ourselves.

  Ask Questions to Encourage Discovery

  Asking thoughtful questions can help your children discover and internalize biblical truths on their own. Jesus often used questions to lead His followers toward deeper understanding (Luke 10:25-37, Matthew 16:13-20). By asking questions, you encourage critical thinking and help your children connect their faith to real-life decisions, fostering personal ownership of biblical values.

  Create a Culture of Conversation

  Encourage questions and discussions about faith, values, and moral decisions. This cultivates an environment where children feel free to wrestle with doubts and make sense of their beliefs. We already looked at Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Through healthy conversations, children move from passive acceptance to active engagement with the truths they’ve learned.

  Encourage Friendships with Those Who Share Your Values

  The company children keep has a significant influence on their lives and decisions. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Encouraging your children to develop friendships with others who share their biblical values can help reinforce those values. Being surrounded by peers who live out their faith will challenge and support them in their walk with Christ. Help them find communities—whether in church, youth groups, or at school—where they can form meaningful, godly friendships.

  Pray for Transformation

  Ultimately, the transformation from renting values to owning them is a work of the Holy Spirit. As parents, we must fervently pray that God will soften our children’s hearts and open their minds to fully embrace His truth. Ezekiel 36:26 speaks of God giving us new hearts: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.” This new heart is what makes our values their values, so pray for it in your kids!

  Takeaway

  The ultimate goal of Christian parenting is to see our children leave home not just adhering to the rules we set but embracing the values we’ve passed on. This journey from "renting" to "owning" values is a gradual but critical process. Through modeling, encouragement, conversation, friendships, and prayer, we can help our children take full ownership of their faith and values, ensuring that they will continue to walk in God’s ways long after they have left our homes. As they do, they will become not just reflections of us, but true followers of Christ, equipped to navigate the world with His wisdom and love.

  ]]>In this episode, we explore how biblical parenting is about more than rules—it’s about helping your kids move from “renting” values to truly owning a faith that lasts.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  The Principle of Ownership in Parenting: A Biblical Approach

  One of the greatest responsibilities a parent has is to raise children who are equipped to navigate the world with strong, biblically grounded values. A fundamental principle of parenting is the idea of “ownership”—that the ultimate goal is for our children to leave home with the values we have instilled in them firmly rooted in their hearts. This means moving from a phase where they "rent" these values—temporarily adopting them while under our guidance—to a place where they "own" them, making those values personal, enduring, and guiding their decisions as independent adults.

  The Biblical Foundation of Ownership

  Scripture provides a foundation for this principle, particularly in passages that emphasize training, teaching, and passing on faith to the next generation. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it." This well-known verse reflects the heart of biblical parenting—intentional training in godly ways. However, for this promise to hold true, children must internalize the faith and values taught to them. They must “own” these teachings so that they continue to live by them when parents are no longer watching.

  Moses also spoke about this principle in Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” The goal is not merely that children hear the commandments but that they become imprinted on their hearts. Moses was calling parents to make God’s truth a natural part of everyday life, ingraining it deeply in their children so that it would influence them long after they left their parents' homes.

  From Renters to Owners

  A crucial distinction for parents to understand is the difference between children being "renters" of values versus being "owners." As long as children are under our care, there is a temptation to assume that because they obey the rules, they are fully committed to the values behind those rules. However, rented values are often temporary—children follow them when it’s convenient, but they haven’t necessarily embraced them as their own. The danger is that when parents are no longer present to enforce those values, the children may abandon them.

  Ownership, on the other hand, happens when children take personal responsibility for their beliefs and decisions. When children “own” the values you’ve taught them, they continue to live by those values even when no one is watching. In Luke 6:45, Jesus says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” The values in their hearts will naturally influence their words and actions. True ownership transforms these values from external obligations into internal convictions.

  Practical Steps for Encouraging Ownership

  Model the Values You Want Them to Own

  Children learn by watching their parents. They may not always listen to what we say, but they closely observe how we live. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” As parents, we need to ensure that our lives reflect the values we desire for our children. If we want them to own biblical truth, we must first live it consistently ourselves.

  Ask Questions to Encourage Discovery

  Asking thoughtful questions can help your children discover and internalize biblical truths on their own. Jesus often used questions to lead His followers toward deeper understanding (Luke 10:25-37, Matthew 16:13-20). By asking questions, you encourage critical thinking and help your children connect their faith to real-life decisions, fostering personal ownership of biblical values.

  Create a Culture of Conversation

  Encourage questions and discussions about faith, values, and moral decisions. This cultivates an environment where children feel free to wrestle with doubts and make sense of their beliefs. We already looked at Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Through healthy conversations, children move from passive acceptance to active engagement with the truths they’ve learned.

  Encourage Friendships with Those Who Share Your Values

  The company children keep has a significant influence on their lives and decisions. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Encouraging your children to develop friendships with others who share their biblical values can help reinforce those values. Being surrounded by peers who live out their faith will challenge and support them in their walk with Christ. Help them find communities—whether in church, youth groups, or at school—where they can form meaningful, godly friendships.

  Pray for Transformation

  Ultimately, the transformation from renting values to owning them is a work of the Holy Spirit. As parents, we must fervently pray that God will soften our children’s hearts and open their minds to fully embrace His truth. Ezekiel 36:26 speaks of God giving us new hearts: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.” This new heart is what makes our values their values, so pray for it in your kids!

  Takeaway

  The ultimate goal of Christian parenting is to see our children leave home not just adhering to the rules we set but embracing the values we’ve passed on. This journey from "renting" to "owning" values is a gradual but critical process. Through modeling, encouragement, conversation, friendships, and prayer, we can help our children take full ownership of their faith and values, ensuring that they will continue to walk in God’s ways long after they have left our homes. As they do, they will become not just reflections of us, but true followers of Christ, equipped to navigate the world with His wisdom and love.

  ]]>e8f185e3-8d44-4148-b558-731512fb165eThu, 18 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -060016:21falsefullAre All Contraceptives the Same?In this episode, Pastor Bryan sits down with Dr. Carson and Dr. Andrea Morley—married physicians and parents-to-be—to discuss the medical, ethical, and spiritual considerations behind birth control options for Christian couples. They break down how common methods like the pill, IUDs, and barrier methods actually work, explain the difference between preventing pregnancy and abortion from a biblical perspective, and offer personal insights on how couples can navigate this sensitive decision with wisdom, faith, and unity.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  ]]>In this episode, Pastor Bryan sits down with Dr. Carson and Dr. Andrea Morley—married physicians and parents-to-be—to discuss the medical, ethical, and spiritual considerations behind birth control options for Christian couples. They break down how common methods like the pill, IUDs, and barrier methods actually work, explain the difference between preventing pregnancy and abortion from a biblical perspective, and offer personal insights on how couples can navigate this sensitive decision with wisdom, faith, and unity.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  ]]>f05650d5-def8-4497-af1c-642a8892fb55Thu, 04 Sep 2025 05:00:00 -060028:53falsefullParenting Your Adult Kids Without Losing the RelationshipParenting adult kids means shifting from control to connection—this episode unpacks four biblical principles to help you build trust, encourage independence, and keep the relationship strong.

  Based on the book “Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat out” by Jim Burns.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  How to Parent Your Adult Kids Without Losing the Relationship

  Parenting doesn’t stop when your kids become adults—but it definitely changes. If you keep treating them like teenagers, you’ll sabotage your relationship. Jim Burns, in his book Doing Life with Your Adult Children, gives practical principles for navigating this tricky new season. The big idea? Shift from control to connection.

  This topic will explore four core principles from Burns to help parents make the shift from authority figures to trusted advisors—and become the kind of parents adult kids actually want to talk to. Whether you’re struggling to keep your mouth shut or wondering what role you now play in their lives, this guide will give you biblical wisdom and practical advice.

  Principle #1

  The relationship must change as your kids become adults. Move from being the boss to being a mentor and friend. “You are a consultant at their will.” You’re not there to control but to encourage. It’s okay to grieve the change, but don’t let your identity depend on being needed.

  Proverbs 22:6

  Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

  Principle #2

  Only offer advice when asked. Unsolicited input often sounds like criticism. James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Let your kids make mistakes—they’ll learn more from experience than from lectures.

  James 1:19

  “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

  Winston Churchill: “You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.”

  Keep the long view in mind. Build a new, trusting relationship.

  Principle #3

  The goal is healthy independence. Adult children need to take ownership of their lives, especially if they’re still living at home. Set clear expectations: be productive, respect house rules, and move toward financial and relational independence with timelines and boundaries.

  • Be productive in the home (chores, etc)
  • Honor the moral code of the home
  • Be financially responsible and set clear goals of where they want to be in a year
  • Set deadlines for the arrangement and clear consequences if broken
  
  

  Principle #4

  Be a peacemaker with in-laws and a fun, faith-filled grandparent. Don’t create pressure around holidays or competing family events. Instead, leave a legacy of love, prayer, and gospel truth.

  Psalm 71:17-18

  “O God, you have taught me from my earliest childhood, and I constantly tell others about the wonderful things you do. Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.”

  ]]>Parenting adult kids means shifting from control to connection—this episode unpacks four biblical principles to help you build trust, encourage independence, and keep the relationship strong.

  Based on the book “Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat out” by Jim Burns.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  How to Parent Your Adult Kids Without Losing the Relationship

  Parenting doesn’t stop when your kids become adults—but it definitely changes. If you keep treating them like teenagers, you’ll sabotage your relationship. Jim Burns, in his book Doing Life with Your Adult Children, gives practical principles for navigating this tricky new season. The big idea? Shift from control to connection.

  This topic will explore four core principles from Burns to help parents make the shift from authority figures to trusted advisors—and become the kind of parents adult kids actually want to talk to. Whether you’re struggling to keep your mouth shut or wondering what role you now play in their lives, this guide will give you biblical wisdom and practical advice.

  Principle #1

  The relationship must change as your kids become adults. Move from being the boss to being a mentor and friend. “You are a consultant at their will.” You’re not there to control but to encourage. It’s okay to grieve the change, but don’t let your identity depend on being needed.

  Proverbs 22:6

  Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

  Principle #2

  Only offer advice when asked. Unsolicited input often sounds like criticism. James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Let your kids make mistakes—they’ll learn more from experience than from lectures.

  James 1:19

  “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

  Winston Churchill: “You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.”

  Keep the long view in mind. Build a new, trusting relationship.

  Principle #3

  The goal is healthy independence. Adult children need to take ownership of their lives, especially if they’re still living at home. Set clear expectations: be productive, respect house rules, and move toward financial and relational independence with timelines and boundaries.

  • Be productive in the home (chores, etc)
  • Honor the moral code of the home
  • Be financially responsible and set clear goals of where they want to be in a year
  • Set deadlines for the arrangement and clear consequences if broken
  
  

  Principle #4

  Be a peacemaker with in-laws and a fun, faith-filled grandparent. Don’t create pressure around holidays or competing family events. Instead, leave a legacy of love, prayer, and gospel truth.

  Psalm 71:17-18

  “O God, you have taught me from my earliest childhood, and I constantly tell others about the wonderful things you do. Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.”

  ]]>495ef71f-191a-4f94-85b1-275b6b5ec4abThu, 21 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -060014:52falsefullRewriting Your Rulebook for SexEvery couple brings a sexual “rulebook” into marriage, but true intimacy begins when you rewrite it together—with honesty, emotional connection, and God’s truth.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Every couple enters marriage with a “rulebook” for sex—unspoken expectations shaped by personal history, past relationships, and family dynamics. To build a healthy sex life, you have to open that rulebook together and start rewriting it in light of God’s truth.

  A great place to begin is by sharing your stories. How did your parents express love—were they affectionate or emotionally distant? What past experiences have shaped your views on sex, for better or worse? Shame, pain, or unrealistic expectations from your past can quietly impact your present. Be honest with your spouse—healing starts with vulnerability.

  Your body image also plays a big role in how comfortable you feel in the bedroom. Be willing to talk about it. When couples are emotionally connected, they’re far more likely to experience intimacy on every level.

  Remember, sex isn’t just physical—it’s deeply relational, emotional, and spiritual. That’s why the best way to improve your sex life might begin outside the bedroom. Learn each other’s love language. Serve one another. As trust and connection grow, so will your intimacy.

  Proverbs 5:19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.

  1 Corinthians 7:3-5 says, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 

  Another word for deprive is defraud. Which means to cheat them.

  John Piper ‘The practical application of 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 is not resolved by logic or taking turns or male dominance or female submission. It is resolved in the mystery of love that discovers even here, when our physical pleasure is more prominent than anywhere else, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). There is a holy and humble and self-sacrificing competition to make the other maximally glad. The logical stalemate is broken by the miracle of grace: With God all things are possible.”

  ]]>Every couple brings a sexual “rulebook” into marriage, but true intimacy begins when you rewrite it together—with honesty, emotional connection, and God’s truth.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Every couple enters marriage with a “rulebook” for sex—unspoken expectations shaped by personal history, past relationships, and family dynamics. To build a healthy sex life, you have to open that rulebook together and start rewriting it in light of God’s truth.

  A great place to begin is by sharing your stories. How did your parents express love—were they affectionate or emotionally distant? What past experiences have shaped your views on sex, for better or worse? Shame, pain, or unrealistic expectations from your past can quietly impact your present. Be honest with your spouse—healing starts with vulnerability.

  Your body image also plays a big role in how comfortable you feel in the bedroom. Be willing to talk about it. When couples are emotionally connected, they’re far more likely to experience intimacy on every level.

  Remember, sex isn’t just physical—it’s deeply relational, emotional, and spiritual. That’s why the best way to improve your sex life might begin outside the bedroom. Learn each other’s love language. Serve one another. As trust and connection grow, so will your intimacy.

  Proverbs 5:19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.

  1 Corinthians 7:3-5 says, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 

  Another word for deprive is defraud. Which means to cheat them.

  John Piper ‘The practical application of 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 is not resolved by logic or taking turns or male dominance or female submission. It is resolved in the mystery of love that discovers even here, when our physical pleasure is more prominent than anywhere else, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). There is a holy and humble and self-sacrificing competition to make the other maximally glad. The logical stalemate is broken by the miracle of grace: With God all things are possible.”

  ]]>7bbe6af6-1aad-4e60-ac95-fa0707f10b27Thu, 07 Aug 2025 05:00:00 -060016:10falsefullApathy Epidemic in BoysBased on the book by Dr. Leonard Sax “Boys Adrift”, this episode explores Dr. Leonard Sax’s research on the crisis facing young men—and what parents can do to turn the tide.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Based on the book “Boys Adrift” by Dr. Leonard Sax

  Dr. Leonard Sax, a family physician and psychologist, has spent decades researching a troubling cultural trend: boys in America are becoming increasingly apathetic, while girls continue to thrive. College enrollment numbers are down, motivation is plummeting, and a growing number of boys seem to be disengaging from real life. What’s going on?

  A Look at the Numbers

  College statistics reflect the shift. In 2023, men made up only 42% of students aged 18–24 in four-year colleges, down from 47% in 2011. Women were 9 percentage points more likely to be enrolled in college than men in 2022. And when boys do go to college, they are less likely than girls to graduate.

  Brain Development and Early Education

  Brain development plays a role, too. Girls’ brains mature faster than boys’, especially in areas related to sensory integration and self-regulation. This biological reality clashes with today’s academic environment, where even kindergarten demands early reading and writing skills—before many boys are ready.

  5 Key Factors Behind the Crisis

  According to Dr. Sax, several powerful cultural shifts over the last 40 years are affecting boys in ways that parents and educators can no longer ignore. Dr. Sax identifies five key factors that are contributing to this downward spiral:

  1. Early Education Isn’t Built for Boys

  Kindergarten used to be a place for creativity and play. Now, it focuses on reading, writing, and sitting still for long periods—an environment where many boys struggle. Instead of adapting the system, society too often labels boys with ADHD. The CDC reports that over 11% of children aged 5–17 have been diagnosed with ADHD, often as a result of mismatched expectations rather than true disorder.

  2. Video Games Offer an Addictive Escape

  Many boys say school is boring and can’t wait to get home to their video games. These games offer fast-paced stimulation and constant action—but research shows they also increase risky behavior, diminish empathy, and disconnect boys from real-life goals.

  3. Overuse of ADHD Medications

  Stimulant medications like Adderall and Ritalin can alter motivation and personality by impacting brain receptors. Dr. Sax recommends non-stimulant alternatives like Strattera or Wellbutrin, warning that reliance on the wrong medications may do more harm than good.

  4. Chemical Hormone Disruption

  Modern plastics and water contaminants act as endocrine disruptors, mimicking estrogen in the body. This not only affects puberty and hormone development in boys but may also contribute to rising ADHD rates and declining motivation.

  5. Lack of Strong Role Models

  From sitcoms to social media, positive portrayals of fatherhood and masculinity have disappeared. Instead of men leading homes with strength and integrity, pop culture often portrays dads as clueless or absent. As Dr. Sax says:

  “Manhood isn’t something that simply happens to boys. It’s an achievement.”

  Without strong guidance, boys grow up lacking a sense of purpose, responsibility, and identity.

  Solutions for Parents

  • Rethink how you educate your son.
  
  

  Use movement and hands-on activities to make learning engaging.

  1 Timothy 4:12 “Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example…”

  • Set boundaries around video game use and encourage real-life engagement through chores, hobbies, or church involvement.
  
  

  1 Kings 2:2-4

  “I am going where everyone on earth must someday go. Take courage and be a man.

  Observe the requirements of the Lord your God, and follow all his ways. Keep the decrees, commands, regulations, and laws written in the Law of Moses so that you will be successful in all you do and wherever you go.”

  Colossians 3:23

  “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”

  • Don’t accept an ADHD diagnosis at face value—seek professional evaluation and educate yourself on alternative treatments.
  • Limit exposure to plastics and other hormone disruptors when possible.
  • Find mentors who embody biblical manhood.
  
  

  Help your son grow in responsibility and confidence as he matures. Proverbs 27:17

  “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

  Final Thought

  Raising boys in today’s culture is challenging—but with intentional effort, prayer, and community, it’s possible to help them thrive.

  ]]>Based on the book by Dr. Leonard Sax “Boys Adrift”, this episode explores Dr. Leonard Sax’s research on the crisis facing young men—and what parents can do to turn the tide.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Based on the book “Boys Adrift” by Dr. Leonard Sax

  Dr. Leonard Sax, a family physician and psychologist, has spent decades researching a troubling cultural trend: boys in America are becoming increasingly apathetic, while girls continue to thrive. College enrollment numbers are down, motivation is plummeting, and a growing number of boys seem to be disengaging from real life. What’s going on?

  A Look at the Numbers

  College statistics reflect the shift. In 2023, men made up only 42% of students aged 18–24 in four-year colleges, down from 47% in 2011. Women were 9 percentage points more likely to be enrolled in college than men in 2022. And when boys do go to college, they are less likely than girls to graduate.

  Brain Development and Early Education

  Brain development plays a role, too. Girls’ brains mature faster than boys’, especially in areas related to sensory integration and self-regulation. This biological reality clashes with today’s academic environment, where even kindergarten demands early reading and writing skills—before many boys are ready.

  5 Key Factors Behind the Crisis

  According to Dr. Sax, several powerful cultural shifts over the last 40 years are affecting boys in ways that parents and educators can no longer ignore. Dr. Sax identifies five key factors that are contributing to this downward spiral:

  1. Early Education Isn’t Built for Boys

  Kindergarten used to be a place for creativity and play. Now, it focuses on reading, writing, and sitting still for long periods—an environment where many boys struggle. Instead of adapting the system, society too often labels boys with ADHD. The CDC reports that over 11% of children aged 5–17 have been diagnosed with ADHD, often as a result of mismatched expectations rather than true disorder.

  2. Video Games Offer an Addictive Escape

  Many boys say school is boring and can’t wait to get home to their video games. These games offer fast-paced stimulation and constant action—but research shows they also increase risky behavior, diminish empathy, and disconnect boys from real-life goals.

  3. Overuse of ADHD Medications

  Stimulant medications like Adderall and Ritalin can alter motivation and personality by impacting brain receptors. Dr. Sax recommends non-stimulant alternatives like Strattera or Wellbutrin, warning that reliance on the wrong medications may do more harm than good.

  4. Chemical Hormone Disruption

  Modern plastics and water contaminants act as endocrine disruptors, mimicking estrogen in the body. This not only affects puberty and hormone development in boys but may also contribute to rising ADHD rates and declining motivation.

  5. Lack of Strong Role Models

  From sitcoms to social media, positive portrayals of fatherhood and masculinity have disappeared. Instead of men leading homes with strength and integrity, pop culture often portrays dads as clueless or absent. As Dr. Sax says:

  “Manhood isn’t something that simply happens to boys. It’s an achievement.”

  Without strong guidance, boys grow up lacking a sense of purpose, responsibility, and identity.

  Solutions for Parents

  • Rethink how you educate your son.
  
  

  Use movement and hands-on activities to make learning engaging.

  1 Timothy 4:12 “Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example…”

  • Set boundaries around video game use and encourage real-life engagement through chores, hobbies, or church involvement.
  
  

  1 Kings 2:2-4

  “I am going where everyone on earth must someday go. Take courage and be a man.

  Observe the requirements of the Lord your God, and follow all his ways. Keep the decrees, commands, regulations, and laws written in the Law of Moses so that you will be successful in all you do and wherever you go.”

  Colossians 3:23

  “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”

  • Don’t accept an ADHD diagnosis at face value—seek professional evaluation and educate yourself on alternative treatments.
  • Limit exposure to plastics and other hormone disruptors when possible.
  • Find mentors who embody biblical manhood.
  
  

  Help your son grow in responsibility and confidence as he matures. Proverbs 27:17

  “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

  Final Thought

  Raising boys in today’s culture is challenging—but with intentional effort, prayer, and community, it’s possible to help them thrive.

  ]]>990ac287-e7cb-411a-9316-86a78637e6deThu, 24 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -060017:04falsefullHow To Stop Fighting Over MoneyIn this episode, we’re tackling one of the biggest sources of tension in marriage—money—by unpacking four biblical values that can help couples build unity, trust, and purpose in their finances.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  ]]>In this episode, we’re tackling one of the biggest sources of tension in marriage—money—by unpacking four biblical values that can help couples build unity, trust, and purpose in their finances.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  ]]>b01cb363-95da-43e8-89f3-8deac65b9285Thu, 10 Jul 2025 05:00:00 -060016:24falsefullKids and LyingIn this episode, Tracy unpacks practical ways to help your kids tell the truth—showing how honesty builds trust, honors God, and shapes godly character.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Teaching Kids to Tell the Truth

  Lying is making an untrue statement with the intent to deceive and gain some advantage. As parents, it’s crucial to address this issue from a spiritual perspective because lying is part of our sin nature (Romans 3:23). The Bible mentions lying between 155-180 times, depending on the translation, highlighting its significance in God’s eyes.

  Why Do Kids Lie?

  Children lie for various reasons, including:

  • To meet a need – They want something, like a cookie on the counter, and lying seems like an easy way to get it.
  • To avoid trouble – They fear consequences, like breaking something and blaming a sibling.
  • For attention – They exaggerate or fabricate stories to impress others.
  
  

  God’s Perspective on Lying

  Lying started at the beginning of time. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve tried to deceive God by hiding after they sinned. This shows that dishonesty is deeply ingrained in human nature.

  God takes lying seriously, and so should we as parents. The Bible explicitly warns against it:

  • Leviticus 19:11 – "Do not steal. Do not deceive or cheat one another."
  • Proverbs 6:16-19 – "There are six things that the Lord hates… a lying tongue, a false witness who breathes out lies..."
  • One of the 10 commandments “not to bear false witness”
  
  

  Lying damages relationships, erodes trust, and goes against God’s nature. As parents, our goal is to train our children to value truthfulness and recognize the long-term consequences of dishonesty.

  How to Train Kids to Be Honest

  1. Model Truthfulness

  Children learn by example. If they see parents lying—whether about small things like “I’m not home” when avoiding a call or exaggerating stories—they will assume dishonesty is acceptable.

  2. Create a Safe Environment for Honesty

  Encourage open conversations where your child feels safe to tell the truth without immediate harsh consequences. Family discussions and Bible-based resources help cultivate this environment.

  3. Explain How Lying Hurts Others

  Help children understand that lying damages relationships:

  • Breaks trust – When someone lies, others find it difficult to rely on them.
  • Hurts feelings – Lies can cause emotional pain to family and friends.
  • Makes life uncertain – Example: If parents didn’t follow through on picking up their child from school, it would create insecurity.
  
  

  4. Be Gracious But Clear

  • Don’t overreact when a child confesses. Instead, affirm their honesty while addressing the wrongdoing.
  • Deliver appropriate consequences without anger, explaining that lost trust leads to fewer freedoms.
  • Remind them that honesty is the pathway to greater trust and privileges.
  
  

  5. Celebrate Honesty

  Recognize and reward truthful behavior. When your child tells the truth in a difficult situation, acknowledge their courage and reinforce that honesty honors God.

  • John 14:16 – Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.
  • Colossians 3:9 – "Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices."
  • Ephesians 4:25 – "Put away falsehood, and speak truthfully to your neighbor."
  
  

  By intentionally guiding our children to embrace honesty, we help them develop character that reflects God’s truth and love.

  ]]>In this episode, Tracy unpacks practical ways to help your kids tell the truth—showing how honesty builds trust, honors God, and shapes godly character.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Teaching Kids to Tell the Truth

  Lying is making an untrue statement with the intent to deceive and gain some advantage. As parents, it’s crucial to address this issue from a spiritual perspective because lying is part of our sin nature (Romans 3:23). The Bible mentions lying between 155-180 times, depending on the translation, highlighting its significance in God’s eyes.

  Why Do Kids Lie?

  Children lie for various reasons, including:

  • To meet a need – They want something, like a cookie on the counter, and lying seems like an easy way to get it.
  • To avoid trouble – They fear consequences, like breaking something and blaming a sibling.
  • For attention – They exaggerate or fabricate stories to impress others.
  
  

  God’s Perspective on Lying

  Lying started at the beginning of time. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve tried to deceive God by hiding after they sinned. This shows that dishonesty is deeply ingrained in human nature.

  God takes lying seriously, and so should we as parents. The Bible explicitly warns against it:

  • Leviticus 19:11 – "Do not steal. Do not deceive or cheat one another."
  • Proverbs 6:16-19 – "There are six things that the Lord hates… a lying tongue, a false witness who breathes out lies..."
  • One of the 10 commandments “not to bear false witness”
  
  

  Lying damages relationships, erodes trust, and goes against God’s nature. As parents, our goal is to train our children to value truthfulness and recognize the long-term consequences of dishonesty.

  How to Train Kids to Be Honest

  1. Model Truthfulness

  Children learn by example. If they see parents lying—whether about small things like “I’m not home” when avoiding a call or exaggerating stories—they will assume dishonesty is acceptable.

  2. Create a Safe Environment for Honesty

  Encourage open conversations where your child feels safe to tell the truth without immediate harsh consequences. Family discussions and Bible-based resources help cultivate this environment.

  3. Explain How Lying Hurts Others

  Help children understand that lying damages relationships:

  • Breaks trust – When someone lies, others find it difficult to rely on them.
  • Hurts feelings – Lies can cause emotional pain to family and friends.
  • Makes life uncertain – Example: If parents didn’t follow through on picking up their child from school, it would create insecurity.
  
  

  4. Be Gracious But Clear

  • Don’t overreact when a child confesses. Instead, affirm their honesty while addressing the wrongdoing.
  • Deliver appropriate consequences without anger, explaining that lost trust leads to fewer freedoms.
  • Remind them that honesty is the pathway to greater trust and privileges.
  
  

  5. Celebrate Honesty

  Recognize and reward truthful behavior. When your child tells the truth in a difficult situation, acknowledge their courage and reinforce that honesty honors God.

  • John 14:16 – Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.
  • Colossians 3:9 – "Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices."
  • Ephesians 4:25 – "Put away falsehood, and speak truthfully to your neighbor."
  
  

  By intentionally guiding our children to embrace honesty, we help them develop character that reflects God’s truth and love.

  ]]>c106aaaf-d630-4d87-9273-71817f3f486cThu, 22 May 2025 05:00:00 -060020:16falsefullDealing With Toxic PeopleIn this episode, Tracy discusses how to recognize toxic people, protect your peace, and set healthy boundaries—just like Jesus did. You'll learn when it's time to speak truth in love, when to step back, and how to navigate difficult relationships with wisdom and grace. This episode is based on the based on the book by Gary Chapman When to Walk Away.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Understanding and Dealing with Toxic People (New Topic)

  A toxic person is someone who consistently exhibits harmful behaviors, whether through manipulation, control, emotional damage, or fostering negativity. They create unhealthy environments, draining the energy and peace of those around them. As Christians, we are called to navigate relationships with wisdom and discernment, ensuring that we guard our hearts while maintaining a Christ-like attitude.

  Signs of a Toxic Person

  Recognizing toxic behavior is the first step to protecting yourself from its effects. Here are some common traits of a toxic person: 

  • They thrive on conflict (Manipulator). Rather than seeking peace, they enjoy stirring division and fueling drama. 
  • They scapegoat and blame others. As Dr. M. Scott Peck explains, toxic individuals refuse to acknowledge fault, instead attacking others to preserve their self-image. 
  • They manipulate for attention. Toxic people use neediness, guilt, and even aggression to monopolize your time, energy, and emotions. 
  
  

  Questions to Ask Yourself

  If you suspect someone in your life may be toxic, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do my interactions with them leave me drained and emotionally exhausted?
  • Does my relationship with them steal my peace, joy, and hope?
  • Are they interfering with my ability to cultivate other healthy relationships?
  • Do I feel manipulated, minimized, or controlled by them?
  • Do they seem to thrive in anger, malice, slander, or deceit?
  
  

  How Should I Deal with a Toxic Person?

  Navigating relationships with toxic individuals requires wisdom, boundaries, and a commitment to biblical truth. Here’s how you can respond:

  1. Label the bad behavior. Recognizing toxicity allows you to set new boundaries. Honoring someone doesn’t mean pretending they are something they are not.
  2. Speak the truth. Be honest, but if they refuse to receive it, stop trying. Jesus modeled this when he let people walk away (Matthew 19:16-26).
  3. Avoid gossip and unnecessary defense. If someone misrepresents you, respond calmly: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
  4. Guard your heart by setting boundaries. Proverbs 26:4-5 reminds us to handle fools wisely—sometimes by not engaging.
  5. Limit your time with them. Say no to unreasonable requests and unnecessary interactions.
  6. Pray for them. Even toxic people need God’s grace, but that doesn’t mean you should allow them to harm you.
  7. Spend time with the right people who love and encourage you.
  8. Avoid rash judgment. Address real issues but don’t let past hurts lead you to label someone unfairly.
  
  

  Toxic people must be called out for their actions, but we must be careful not to fall into the same trap of destructive behavior ourselves. Instead, we should seek God’s wisdom and set healthy boundaries while keeping our own hearts aligned with His truth.

  What if the toxic person is my spouse?

  • Pray for God to change their heart. Pray for God to keep your heart tender and patient. (story in book about husband focusing on Gospel)
  • Draw appropriate boundaries for safety and sanity (might mean separation)
  • Seek professional counseling
  • Find Christian community to bolster you.
  • For kids, you can’t rescue them from bad decisions. God who could doesn’t even control us
  
  

  What did Jesus model for us?

  • Matthew 19, the Rich young ruler came to prove his own righteousness and Jesus challenged him to sell his possessions. The young man walked away sad because he loved his stuff more than Jesus. Jesus let him walk away. He didn’t chase him down or try to soften the message. . 
  • Jesus retreated several times for prayer and quiet. He drew boundaries and didn’t let people demand things from Him he didn’t want to give. 
  • In Luke 4, Jesus returns to his hometown and  teaches in the synagogue. The people didn’t like his message and demanded he leave and He did. John 13, Jesus let Judas stay at the table and even washed his feet but he also called him out.
  
  ]]>In this episode, Tracy discusses how to recognize toxic people, protect your peace, and set healthy boundaries—just like Jesus did. You'll learn when it's time to speak truth in love, when to step back, and how to navigate difficult relationships with wisdom and grace. This episode is based on the based on the book by Gary Chapman When to Walk Away.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Understanding and Dealing with Toxic People (New Topic)

  A toxic person is someone who consistently exhibits harmful behaviors, whether through manipulation, control, emotional damage, or fostering negativity. They create unhealthy environments, draining the energy and peace of those around them. As Christians, we are called to navigate relationships with wisdom and discernment, ensuring that we guard our hearts while maintaining a Christ-like attitude.

  Signs of a Toxic Person

  Recognizing toxic behavior is the first step to protecting yourself from its effects. Here are some common traits of a toxic person: 

  • They thrive on conflict (Manipulator). Rather than seeking peace, they enjoy stirring division and fueling drama. 
  • They scapegoat and blame others. As Dr. M. Scott Peck explains, toxic individuals refuse to acknowledge fault, instead attacking others to preserve their self-image. 
  • They manipulate for attention. Toxic people use neediness, guilt, and even aggression to monopolize your time, energy, and emotions. 
  
  

  Questions to Ask Yourself

  If you suspect someone in your life may be toxic, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do my interactions with them leave me drained and emotionally exhausted?
  • Does my relationship with them steal my peace, joy, and hope?
  • Are they interfering with my ability to cultivate other healthy relationships?
  • Do I feel manipulated, minimized, or controlled by them?
  • Do they seem to thrive in anger, malice, slander, or deceit?
  
  

  How Should I Deal with a Toxic Person?

  Navigating relationships with toxic individuals requires wisdom, boundaries, and a commitment to biblical truth. Here’s how you can respond:

  1. Label the bad behavior. Recognizing toxicity allows you to set new boundaries. Honoring someone doesn’t mean pretending they are something they are not.
  2. Speak the truth. Be honest, but if they refuse to receive it, stop trying. Jesus modeled this when he let people walk away (Matthew 19:16-26).
  3. Avoid gossip and unnecessary defense. If someone misrepresents you, respond calmly: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
  4. Guard your heart by setting boundaries. Proverbs 26:4-5 reminds us to handle fools wisely—sometimes by not engaging.
  5. Limit your time with them. Say no to unreasonable requests and unnecessary interactions.
  6. Pray for them. Even toxic people need God’s grace, but that doesn’t mean you should allow them to harm you.
  7. Spend time with the right people who love and encourage you.
  8. Avoid rash judgment. Address real issues but don’t let past hurts lead you to label someone unfairly.
  
  

  Toxic people must be called out for their actions, but we must be careful not to fall into the same trap of destructive behavior ourselves. Instead, we should seek God’s wisdom and set healthy boundaries while keeping our own hearts aligned with His truth.

  What if the toxic person is my spouse?

  • Pray for God to change their heart. Pray for God to keep your heart tender and patient. (story in book about husband focusing on Gospel)
  • Draw appropriate boundaries for safety and sanity (might mean separation)
  • Seek professional counseling
  • Find Christian community to bolster you.
  • For kids, you can’t rescue them from bad decisions. God who could doesn’t even control us
  
  

  What did Jesus model for us?

  • Matthew 19, the Rich young ruler came to prove his own righteousness and Jesus challenged him to sell his possessions. The young man walked away sad because he loved his stuff more than Jesus. Jesus let him walk away. He didn’t chase him down or try to soften the message. . 
  • Jesus retreated several times for prayer and quiet. He drew boundaries and didn’t let people demand things from Him he didn’t want to give. 
  • In Luke 4, Jesus returns to his hometown and  teaches in the synagogue. The people didn’t like his message and demanded he leave and He did. John 13, Jesus let Judas stay at the table and even washed his feet but he also called him out.
  
  ]]>8b2c1211-e9b7-48ae-a222-d573c77c2af0Thu, 08 May 2025 05:00:00 -060022:01falsefullTalking to Kids About Death and GriefTracy discusses best practices for helping children process grief, including modeling healthy mourning, engaging in age-appropriate conversations, and offering comfort through the promise of Heaven.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  ]]>Tracy discusses best practices for helping children process grief, including modeling healthy mourning, engaging in age-appropriate conversations, and offering comfort through the promise of Heaven.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  ]]>a4c048f1-99b7-4b2a-bb6a-bb619db77f19Thu, 24 Apr 2025 05:00:00 -060026:43falsefullThe Seasons of MarriageIn this episode, Tracy explores the four seasons of marriage—spring, summer, fall, and winter—and how couples can thrive in each one by staying intentional, connected, and rooted in God. Learn how to recognize your current season and respond with wisdom, grace, and faith.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  The Seasons of Marriage: How to Grow Through Every Stage of Life Together

  Marriage, like nature, has seasons. Each one brings its own beauty—and its own challenges. Recognizing the season you’re in can help you lean into God's plan for your relationship, making your marriage stronger and more fruitful no matter the circumstances. Let’s walk through the four seasons of marriage and explore how to navigate them with purpose and love.

  Spring: Say "Yes" to Your Marriage

  Spring is the season of new growth. It’s often filled with young children, rising careers, and a never-ending to-do list. This can make marriage feel more like a project than a partnership. But in this busy season, couples must learn the power of saying “No” to the good so they can say “Yes” to the best—their relationship.

  Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” That includes making intentional space to invest in your spouse.

  Summer: Embrace the Joy of Togetherness

  Summer brings warmth, connection, and space to enjoy each other. Maybe the kids are older, or the pressures of early adulthood have passed. This is a great time to intentionally deepen your relationship. Enjoy vacations, long talks, and shared hobbies. But don't get lazy—use this time to keep building a stronger bond.

  Song of Solomon 2:10 says, “My beloved spoke and said to me, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.’” Summer is about pursuing your spouse with intentionality.

  Fall: Prepare for Change

  Fall often brings transitions—career shifts, an empty nest, or unexpected loss. Change can be stressful and unsettling. That’s why this season requires grace, communication, and adaptability. It’s easy to turn inward during change, but this is when you need each other the most.

  Proverbs 3:5-6 encourages us: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart… He will make your paths straight.” Trusting God together through change can anchor your marriage.

  Winter: Fight for Your Marriage

  Winter is the hardest season. It can bring grief, health issues, financial strain, or emotional distance. These trials are real, but so is God's faithfulness. This is when you fight hardest for your marriage—through prayer, counseling, and a commitment to stay connected even when feelings fade.

  Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.” Winter is not the end—it’s a chance to build resilience and rediscover why you said “I do.”

  Every marriage goes through seasons. The key is to recognize where you are and respond with grace, truth, and intentionality. With God at the center, you can weather every season together.

  ]]>In this episode, Tracy explores the four seasons of marriage—spring, summer, fall, and winter—and how couples can thrive in each one by staying intentional, connected, and rooted in God. Learn how to recognize your current season and respond with wisdom, grace, and faith.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  The Seasons of Marriage: How to Grow Through Every Stage of Life Together

  Marriage, like nature, has seasons. Each one brings its own beauty—and its own challenges. Recognizing the season you’re in can help you lean into God's plan for your relationship, making your marriage stronger and more fruitful no matter the circumstances. Let’s walk through the four seasons of marriage and explore how to navigate them with purpose and love.

  Spring: Say "Yes" to Your Marriage

  Spring is the season of new growth. It’s often filled with young children, rising careers, and a never-ending to-do list. This can make marriage feel more like a project than a partnership. But in this busy season, couples must learn the power of saying “No” to the good so they can say “Yes” to the best—their relationship.

  Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” That includes making intentional space to invest in your spouse.

  Summer: Embrace the Joy of Togetherness

  Summer brings warmth, connection, and space to enjoy each other. Maybe the kids are older, or the pressures of early adulthood have passed. This is a great time to intentionally deepen your relationship. Enjoy vacations, long talks, and shared hobbies. But don't get lazy—use this time to keep building a stronger bond.

  Song of Solomon 2:10 says, “My beloved spoke and said to me, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.’” Summer is about pursuing your spouse with intentionality.

  Fall: Prepare for Change

  Fall often brings transitions—career shifts, an empty nest, or unexpected loss. Change can be stressful and unsettling. That’s why this season requires grace, communication, and adaptability. It’s easy to turn inward during change, but this is when you need each other the most.

  Proverbs 3:5-6 encourages us: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart… He will make your paths straight.” Trusting God together through change can anchor your marriage.

  Winter: Fight for Your Marriage

  Winter is the hardest season. It can bring grief, health issues, financial strain, or emotional distance. These trials are real, but so is God's faithfulness. This is when you fight hardest for your marriage—through prayer, counseling, and a commitment to stay connected even when feelings fade.

  Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.” Winter is not the end—it’s a chance to build resilience and rediscover why you said “I do.”

  Every marriage goes through seasons. The key is to recognize where you are and respond with grace, truth, and intentionality. With God at the center, you can weather every season together.

  ]]>dc90ca20-882a-4552-8598-1d3adf6bffedThu, 10 Apr 2025 05:00:00 -060022:58falsefullTips for Giving Constructive Criticism to Your TeensHow feedback is given makes all the difference! This episode covers practical do’s and don’ts for correcting with grace, encouraging growth, and keeping communication open with teens. Learn how to balance honesty with kindness and build trust while guiding them toward maturity.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Giving Helpful Feedback to Your Teen

  As parents, we want to guide our teens toward maturity, but how we give feedback can make all the difference. The Bible encourages us to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:29), which means balancing honesty with kindness. Here are some do’s and don’ts to help you give feedback that builds your teen up instead of tearing them down.

  The Do’s:

  Be Kind but Clear – Your words should encourage growth, not just point out flaws. Make sure your feedback is constructive, not critical. (Ephesians 4:29)

  Give Time to Process – Your teen might not immediately agree with you. Be patient and trust that your words will sink in over time.

  Keep Earning Trust – Build a relationship where they feel safe to hear your feedback. Spend time with them, listen to their thoughts, and engage in their world.

  The Don’ts:

  Don’t Be Passive-Aggressive – Sarcasm or veiled criticism, even if meant as a joke, can create distance instead of growth.

  Don’t Be a Nag – Constantly pointing out flaws can make your teen tune you out. Pick your battles wisely.

  Don’t Lecture – Teens often know what you’re going to say before you say it. Instead of a lecture, invite them into the conversation and let them express their perspective. (Proverbs 22:6)

  Giving helpful feedback is about more than just correcting behavior—it’s about shaping the heart and character of your teen in a way that honors God.

  ]]>How feedback is given makes all the difference! This episode covers practical do’s and don’ts for correcting with grace, encouraging growth, and keeping communication open with teens. Learn how to balance honesty with kindness and build trust while guiding them toward maturity.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Giving Helpful Feedback to Your Teen

  As parents, we want to guide our teens toward maturity, but how we give feedback can make all the difference. The Bible encourages us to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:29), which means balancing honesty with kindness. Here are some do’s and don’ts to help you give feedback that builds your teen up instead of tearing them down.

  The Do’s:

  Be Kind but Clear – Your words should encourage growth, not just point out flaws. Make sure your feedback is constructive, not critical. (Ephesians 4:29)

  Give Time to Process – Your teen might not immediately agree with you. Be patient and trust that your words will sink in over time.

  Keep Earning Trust – Build a relationship where they feel safe to hear your feedback. Spend time with them, listen to their thoughts, and engage in their world.

  The Don’ts:

  Don’t Be Passive-Aggressive – Sarcasm or veiled criticism, even if meant as a joke, can create distance instead of growth.

  Don’t Be a Nag – Constantly pointing out flaws can make your teen tune you out. Pick your battles wisely.

  Don’t Lecture – Teens often know what you’re going to say before you say it. Instead of a lecture, invite them into the conversation and let them express their perspective. (Proverbs 22:6)

  Giving helpful feedback is about more than just correcting behavior—it’s about shaping the heart and character of your teen in a way that honors God.

  ]]>8a00d461-94dc-4d12-b94d-4c3f973f4003Thu, 27 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -060015:31falsefullHow to Predict a Healthy MarriageIn this episode, Tracy explores a powerful concept that can shape the way you view your marriage—for better or worse. She discusses Positive and Negative Sentiment Override, a mindset that influences whether you focus on the qualities you love and respect in your spouse or dwell on the things that frustrate or hurt you. Your perspective can either foster a thriving, joyful relationship or lead to a cycle of negativity and despair.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  ]]>In this episode, Tracy explores a powerful concept that can shape the way you view your marriage—for better or worse. She discusses Positive and Negative Sentiment Override, a mindset that influences whether you focus on the qualities you love and respect in your spouse or dwell on the things that frustrate or hurt you. Your perspective can either foster a thriving, joyful relationship or lead to a cycle of negativity and despair.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  ]]>e7d83261-d55f-4fdf-9890-873e266d36ceThu, 13 Mar 2025 05:00:00 -060021:48falsefullHelping Your Kids with AnxietyAnxiety is on the rise among kids, but as parents, we have the opportunity to guide them through it. In this episode, we’ll unpack the common triggers of anxiety, practical ways to help kids cope, and—most importantly—how grounding them in Scripture and God’s truth can bring peace and confidence in the midst of fear.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Anxiety is becoming a growing issue among kids today. More children are struggling with worry, stress, and fear than ever before. The pressures of school, social media, and an unpredictable world make it easy for kids to feel overwhelmed. The statistics are concerning—more than 1 in 10 kids in the U.S. deal with anxiety, and many suffer in silence. As parents, we need to recognize the signs and equip our kids with the tools to manage their anxiety in a healthy way.

  Signs of Anxiety in Children

  Kids don’t always know how to express what they’re feeling, so anxiety can manifest in different ways. Here are some common signs to watch for:

  • Trouble concentrating – Difficulty focusing on tasks at school or home.
  • Nightmares – Frequent bad dreams, especially around big life changes.
  • Irritability – Becoming easily frustrated or upset over small things.
  • Negative thoughts – Worrying excessively or imagining worst-case scenarios.
  • Physical tension – Restlessness, fidgeting, or clenching fists.
  
  

  Common Triggers of Anxiety

  Anxiety can stem from different sources, including:

  • Fear of failure – Worrying about measuring up in school, sports, or family expectations.
  • Social concerns – Fear of rejection or not fitting in with peers.
  • Stranger danger – Natural wariness of unfamiliar people or situations.
  • Past trauma – Emotional scars from difficult past experiences.
  
  

  How Parents Can Help

  Normalize the Feeling

  • Let your child know it’s okay to feel anxious sometimes.
  • Help them name their feelings so they can better understand and process them.
  • Be careful not to let your own anxiety feed theirs—stay calm and reassuring.
  • Some anxiety is normal, especially during big life changes (new school, loss of a loved one, divorce), but pay close attention if it lasts for months.
  
  

  Encourage Open Communication

  • Create a safe space for your child to talk about their worries.
  • Share your own experiences with anxiety to help them feel less alone.
  • Find moments to connect—sometimes kids open up more during activities they enjoy (e.g., while drawing, playing, or lying on the floor after school).
  
  

  Face Fears Gradually

  • Instead of avoiding fears, help your child face them step by step.
  • Prep them for stressful situations by talking through what to expect.
  • Pray together the night before a big event and remind them of God’s presence.
  
  

  Create Familiarity

  • Help your child get comfortable with new situations in advance (e.g., visiting a new school before their first day).
  • The goal isn’t to remove all anxiety but to teach kids how to manage and overcome it.
  • Pray with your child regularly about their worries.
  
  

  Teach Practical Coping Techniques

  • Encourage breathing exercises, visualization, or calming activities (drawing, music, etc.).
  • Bible memorization is a very powerful tool:
  • 2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
  • Philippians 4:6-7 – “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
  
  

  Consider Professional Help

  • If anxiety significantly impacts your child’s daily life, seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial.
  • Early intervention can make a big difference in helping kids develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  
  ]]>Anxiety is on the rise among kids, but as parents, we have the opportunity to guide them through it. In this episode, we’ll unpack the common triggers of anxiety, practical ways to help kids cope, and—most importantly—how grounding them in Scripture and God’s truth can bring peace and confidence in the midst of fear.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Anxiety is becoming a growing issue among kids today. More children are struggling with worry, stress, and fear than ever before. The pressures of school, social media, and an unpredictable world make it easy for kids to feel overwhelmed. The statistics are concerning—more than 1 in 10 kids in the U.S. deal with anxiety, and many suffer in silence. As parents, we need to recognize the signs and equip our kids with the tools to manage their anxiety in a healthy way.

  Signs of Anxiety in Children

  Kids don’t always know how to express what they’re feeling, so anxiety can manifest in different ways. Here are some common signs to watch for:

  • Trouble concentrating – Difficulty focusing on tasks at school or home.
  • Nightmares – Frequent bad dreams, especially around big life changes.
  • Irritability – Becoming easily frustrated or upset over small things.
  • Negative thoughts – Worrying excessively or imagining worst-case scenarios.
  • Physical tension – Restlessness, fidgeting, or clenching fists.
  
  

  Common Triggers of Anxiety

  Anxiety can stem from different sources, including:

  • Fear of failure – Worrying about measuring up in school, sports, or family expectations.
  • Social concerns – Fear of rejection or not fitting in with peers.
  • Stranger danger – Natural wariness of unfamiliar people or situations.
  • Past trauma – Emotional scars from difficult past experiences.
  
  

  How Parents Can Help

  Normalize the Feeling

  • Let your child know it’s okay to feel anxious sometimes.
  • Help them name their feelings so they can better understand and process them.
  • Be careful not to let your own anxiety feed theirs—stay calm and reassuring.
  • Some anxiety is normal, especially during big life changes (new school, loss of a loved one, divorce), but pay close attention if it lasts for months.
  
  

  Encourage Open Communication

  • Create a safe space for your child to talk about their worries.
  • Share your own experiences with anxiety to help them feel less alone.
  • Find moments to connect—sometimes kids open up more during activities they enjoy (e.g., while drawing, playing, or lying on the floor after school).
  
  

  Face Fears Gradually

  • Instead of avoiding fears, help your child face them step by step.
  • Prep them for stressful situations by talking through what to expect.
  • Pray together the night before a big event and remind them of God’s presence.
  
  

  Create Familiarity

  • Help your child get comfortable with new situations in advance (e.g., visiting a new school before their first day).
  • The goal isn’t to remove all anxiety but to teach kids how to manage and overcome it.
  • Pray with your child regularly about their worries.
  
  

  Teach Practical Coping Techniques

  • Encourage breathing exercises, visualization, or calming activities (drawing, music, etc.).
  • Bible memorization is a very powerful tool:
  • 2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
  • Philippians 4:6-7 – “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
  
  

  Consider Professional Help

  • If anxiety significantly impacts your child’s daily life, seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial.
  • Early intervention can make a big difference in helping kids develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  
  ]]>d0704862-ed84-4af4-9054-c65270927dbcThu, 27 Feb 2025 05:00:00 -060027:11falsefullHow to Really Listen to Your SpouseIn this episode, Tracy debunks three common myths about listening and shares four practical keys to becoming a better listener.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  True listening is an active process that involves understanding and empathizing with the speaker, not just hearing the words. It’s about fully engaging with the speaker’s emotions and perspective, which is essential for stronger relationships and better communication.

  Research shows that women typically engage both hemispheres of the brain when listening, which allows them to pick up on emotional cues, while men tend to use one hemisphere, focusing more on the content. Recognizing these differences can improve communication and understanding between genders.

  Listening isn’t passive or automatic. It’s an active skill that requires practice and attention. Myths like “good listeners are born” or “listening always requires solutions” can hinder effective communication. Listening to understand and validate feelings is often more important than offering advice or fixing problems.

  Active listening means giving your full attention, free from distractions, and showing engagement through nonverbal cues like eye contact and nodding. Reflecting on what’s been said helps ensure understanding, and responding thoughtfully with empathy shows respect for the speaker’s perspective.

  Facts about listening:

  • Listening retention: People typically only remember about 50% of what they hear immediately after a conversation, and less than 25% after 48 hours
  • One study finds that 45% of a person’s time awake is engaged in some kind of listening, which amounts to around 7.58 hours per day for US citizens.
  • Each person hears between 20,000 – 30,000 words each day, which on average amounts to around 0.3 – 0.5 words per second during time awake.
  • This totals 20 – 30 words per minute or 1,200 – 1,800 words per hour.
  • In contrast, the average person speaks 16,000 words a day, between 4,000 – 14,000 words less than we hear.
  • Listening to 30 minutes or more of nagging/complaining can negatively affect the brain’s problem-solving skills. 
  • Research has shown that women engage both hemispheres of their brain when listening, whereas men typically rely on just one.
  
  

  The Art of Listening: A Key to Stronger Relationships

  In today's fast-paced world, where we're constantly bombarded with information and distractions, one thing is often overlooked: listening. Genuine listening is more than just hearing words; it's an active process that involves truly understanding, validating, and empathizing with someone else’s perspective. Whether you're talking to your partner, a friend, or a colleague, good listening can strengthen relationships, resolve conflicts, and foster deeper emotional connections. 

  The Facts About Listening

  How much time do we actually spend listening?

  Studies show that people typically spend around 45% of their waking hours listening. That’s approximately 7.58 hours each day for a person in the U.S.! And when we break it down, each of us hears anywhere between 20,000 to 30,000 words daily. That’s about 1,200 to 1,800 words per hour, or a little over 20 words every minute. In comparison, the average person speaks only about 16,000 words a day—between 4,000 and 14,000 words less than we hear. 

  But here’s what’s even crazier, despite the sheer volume of words we hear, retention rates are surprisingly low. People remember only about 50% of what they hear immediately after a conversation, and within 48 hours, this drops to less than 25%. This suggests that while we may be engaged in listening for hours every day, we’re not always absorbing or retaining much of what we hear. So, it’s worth our time to learn what it looks like to be a good listener. 

  The Difference Between Hearing and Listening

  Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

  Listening is not the same as hearing. Hearing is a passive, physiological process—it's just the act of sound waves hitting our eardrums. Listening, however, is an active and intentional process that requires us to interpret, reflect, and respond. For example, a person might hear a partner’s complaint about a missed event, but true listening means engaging with their emotions and perspective. It’s not just about hearing words, but about understanding the meaning behind them.

  In fact, research suggests that women tend to engage both hemispheres of their brains when listening, whereas men typically rely on just one hemisphere. (The left hemisphere of the brain is generally responsible for language processing, logic, analytical thinking, and mathematical abilities, while the right hemisphere is associated with creativity, spatial awareness, intuition, emotions, and artistic skills) This could explain why women may be more attuned to the emotional nuances of a conversation, while men might focus more on the content. Understanding these differences can help foster better communication in relationships by acknowledging the unique ways each person processes information.

  Common myths

  Myth #1- Every conversation needs to end with concrete solutions.

  Nichols points out that when a partner shares something with us, they’re not always looking for advice or solutions. More often than not, they simply want to feel heard. For instance, if your partner is upset about missing an important event, rather than immediately offering solutions, try acknowledging their feelings first. You could say something like, "I understand why you're upset. It sounds like this was really important to you." This simple act of validation lets your partner know that their feelings are recognized, which can help defuse tension and foster emotional connection. 

  Myth #2- Listening is a passive activity

  Many people believe that listening is passive—that simply staying quiet while someone talks is enough. Or, choosing to listen means you agree with or are conceding fault. In reality, real listening is anything but passive—it’s a dynamic process that involves empathy and understanding. Active listening involves fully engaging with the speaker, reflecting on their words, and responding thoughtfully.It’s doing what we expect from others-listening to understand. 

  Myth #3- Good listeners are born that way

  Listening is a skill—one that can be developed and improved over time. Like any skill, it requires practice and intentionality. By making the decision to engage with your partner or loved one in a more empathetic, attentive way, you can become a better listener.

  The Art of Real Listening: What Does it Look Like?

  In his book The Art of Listening, Michael Nichols emphasizes that real listening is about actively validating and appreciating your partner’s feelings and perspectives. The temptation is strong to put our own perspective out there, forgetting that the other person in the conversation has thoughts to share as well. 

  Practical Listening Skills

  1. Listen to understand
  
  

  Listening starts with a decision to be fully present. This means putting away distractions, such as your phone or computer, and giving your full attention to the person speaking. Avoid interrupting or immediately jumping into problem-solving mode. Instead, let the speaker express themselves fully before you respond. 

  1. Provide Appropriate Nonverbal Communication
  
  

  Listening isn’t just about words—it’s also about how we communicate nonverbally. Nodding, maintaining eye contact, and showing other signs of engagement can help convey that you’re fully focused and invested in the conversation. These cues not only encourage the speaker to continue but also help strengthen the connection between you and the speaker.

  1. Clarify and Reflect
  
  

  One effective technique for improving listening is to reflect on what you’ve heard by repeating or paraphrasing it back to the speaker. This ensures that you’ve accurately understood their point of view and helps clarify any potential misunderstandings. For example, you might say, "So, what you're saying is that you felt overlooked when I didn't make it to the event,...]]>In this episode, Tracy debunks three common myths about listening and shares four practical keys to becoming a better listener.

  --

  The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  True listening is an active process that involves understanding and empathizing with the speaker, not just hearing the words. It’s about fully engaging with the speaker’s emotions and perspective, which is essential for stronger relationships and better communication.

  Research shows that women typically engage both hemispheres of the brain when listening, which allows them to pick up on emotional cues, while men tend to use one hemisphere, focusing more on the content. Recognizing these differences can improve communication and understanding between genders.

  Listening isn’t passive or automatic. It’s an active skill that requires practice and attention. Myths like “good listeners are born” or “listening always requires solutions” can hinder effective communication. Listening to understand and validate feelings is often more important than offering advice or fixing problems.

  Active listening means giving your full attention, free from distractions, and showing engagement through nonverbal cues like eye contact and nodding. Reflecting on what’s been said helps ensure understanding, and responding thoughtfully with empathy shows respect for the speaker’s perspective.

  Facts about listening:

  • Listening retention: People typically only remember about 50% of what they hear immediately after a conversation, and less than 25% after 48 hours
  • One study finds that 45% of a person’s time awake is engaged in some kind of listening, which amounts to around 7.58 hours per day for US citizens.
  • Each person hears between 20,000 – 30,000 words each day, which on average amounts to around 0.3 – 0.5 words per second during time awake.
  • This totals 20 – 30 words per minute or 1,200 – 1,800 words per hour.
  • In contrast, the average person speaks 16,000 words a day, between 4,000 – 14,000 words less than we hear.
  • Listening to 30 minutes or more of nagging/complaining can negatively affect the brain’s problem-solving skills. 
  • Research has shown that women engage both hemispheres of their brain when listening, whereas men typically rely on just one.
  
  

  The Art of Listening: A Key to Stronger Relationships

  In today's fast-paced world, where we're constantly bombarded with information and distractions, one thing is often overlooked: listening. Genuine listening is more than just hearing words; it's an active process that involves truly understanding, validating, and empathizing with someone else’s perspective. Whether you're talking to your partner, a friend, or a colleague, good listening can strengthen relationships, resolve conflicts, and foster deeper emotional connections. 

  The Facts About Listening

  How much time do we actually spend listening?

  Studies show that people typically spend around 45% of their waking hours listening. That’s approximately 7.58 hours each day for a person in the U.S.! And when we break it down, each of us hears anywhere between 20,000 to 30,000 words daily. That’s about 1,200 to 1,800 words per hour, or a little over 20 words every minute. In comparison, the average person speaks only about 16,000 words a day—between 4,000 and 14,000 words less than we hear. 

  But here’s what’s even crazier, despite the sheer volume of words we hear, retention rates are surprisingly low. People remember only about 50% of what they hear immediately after a conversation, and within 48 hours, this drops to less than 25%. This suggests that while we may be engaged in listening for hours every day, we’re not always absorbing or retaining much of what we hear. So, it’s worth our time to learn what it looks like to be a good listener. 

  The Difference Between Hearing and Listening

  Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

  Listening is not the same as hearing. Hearing is a passive, physiological process—it's just the act of sound waves hitting our eardrums. Listening, however, is an active and intentional process that requires us to interpret, reflect, and respond. For example, a person might hear a partner’s complaint about a missed event, but true listening means engaging with their emotions and perspective. It’s not just about hearing words, but about understanding the meaning behind them.

  In fact, research suggests that women tend to engage both hemispheres of their brains when listening, whereas men typically rely on just one hemisphere. (The left hemisphere of the brain is generally responsible for language processing, logic, analytical thinking, and mathematical abilities, while the right hemisphere is associated with creativity, spatial awareness, intuition, emotions, and artistic skills) This could explain why women may be more attuned to the emotional nuances of a conversation, while men might focus more on the content. Understanding these differences can help foster better communication in relationships by acknowledging the unique ways each person processes information.

  Common myths

  Myth #1- Every conversation needs to end with concrete solutions.

  Nichols points out that when a partner shares something with us, they’re not always looking for advice or solutions. More often than not, they simply want to feel heard. For instance, if your partner is upset about missing an important event, rather than immediately offering solutions, try acknowledging their feelings first. You could say something like, "I understand why you're upset. It sounds like this was really important to you." This simple act of validation lets your partner know that their feelings are recognized, which can help defuse tension and foster emotional connection. 

  Myth #2- Listening is a passive activity

  Many people believe that listening is passive—that simply staying quiet while someone talks is enough. Or, choosing to listen means you agree with or are conceding fault. In reality, real listening is anything but passive—it’s a dynamic process that involves empathy and understanding. Active listening involves fully engaging with the speaker, reflecting on their words, and responding thoughtfully.It’s doing what we expect from others-listening to understand. 

  Myth #3- Good listeners are born that way

  Listening is a skill—one that can be developed and improved over time. Like any skill, it requires practice and intentionality. By making the decision to engage with your partner or loved one in a more empathetic, attentive way, you can become a better listener.

  The Art of Real Listening: What Does it Look Like?

  In his book The Art of Listening, Michael Nichols emphasizes that real listening is about actively validating and appreciating your partner’s feelings and perspectives. The temptation is strong to put our own perspective out there, forgetting that the other person in the conversation has thoughts to share as well. 

  Practical Listening Skills

  1. Listen to understand
  
  

  Listening starts with a decision to be fully present. This means putting away distractions, such as your phone or computer, and giving your full attention to the person speaking. Avoid interrupting or immediately jumping into problem-solving mode. Instead, let the speaker express themselves fully before you respond. 

  1. Provide Appropriate Nonverbal Communication
  
  

  Listening isn’t just about words—it’s also about how we communicate nonverbally. Nodding, maintaining eye contact, and showing other signs of engagement can help convey that you’re fully focused and invested in the conversation. These cues not only encourage the speaker to continue but also help strengthen the connection between you and the speaker.

  1. Clarify and Reflect
  
  

  One effective technique for improving listening is to reflect on what you’ve heard by repeating or paraphrasing it back to the speaker. This ensures that you’ve accurately understood their point of view and helps clarify any potential misunderstandings. For example, you might say, "So, what you're saying is that you felt overlooked when I didn't make it to the event, right?"

  1. Provide Your Input Thoughtfully
  
  

  Once you've truly understood the other person’s perspective, share your thoughts—but do so with empathy and understanding. Your input should show that you’ve considered their feelings and that you're approaching the conversation from a place of respect.

  In case you think this is just a psycho babble, the Bible has some important principles to apply to the topic of listening.

  James 1:19 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”

  Hebrews 12:14 “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

  Ultimately, real listening is about making a conscious choice to prioritize your partner’s feelings and experiences. It’s about being present, patient, and open-minded. By practicing active listening, you’ll not only become a better communicator but also foster a deeper, more supportive relationship with the people around you.

  ]]>fc64398f-5bd1-493c-99d3-b618405a7e26Thu, 13 Feb 2025 05:00:00 -060023:02falsefullIs Tithing Biblical or Just a Mormon Thing? - Unveiling MormonismTithing isn’t mandated by the New Testament, but Christians should be good stewards of their money by giving regularly, proportionately, and sacrificially.

  --

  The Unveiling Mormonism podcast pulls back the curtain on Mormon history, culture and doctrine. Join us for new episodes every Monday.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/mormonism.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Tithing, the practice of giving 10% of your income to God, is a topic that Christians still talk about a lot. In the Old Testament, tithing is part of the Mosaic Law, but in the New Testament, people debate its place. Surprisingly, the word “tithe” (or its variations) only shows up four times in the New Testament. Before we dive into the New Testament, let’s quickly look at tithing in the Old Testament to understand what it tells us about the practice.

  The Nebulous Nature of the Tithe in the Old Testament

  In the Old Testament, the concept of the tithe is mentioned multiple times, but its exact application and scope were somewhat complex and varied. For example:

  1. Levitical Tithe: Numbers 18:21-24 describes a tithe given to the Levites as compensation for their service in the Tabernacle. This tithe was based on agricultural produce and livestock, not monetary income.
  2. Festival Tithe: Deuteronomy 14:22-27 outlines a tithe that was set aside for annual festivals. This tithe was consumed by the giver and their household in a celebratory feast before the Lord.
  3. Charity Tithe: Deuteronomy 14:28-29 refers to a tithe given every third year to support the poor, including the foreigner, the fatherless, and the widow.
  
  

  So, the “tithe” wasn’t a one-size-fits-all thing. It was actually a bunch of different obligations that served different purposes in ancient Israelite society. And guess what? It mostly applied to people who worked in farming, not to everyone who made money or had stuff. This is important to keep in mind when we think about how tithing might work in our modern world.

  The Four Appearances of the Tithe in the New Testament

  Now let’s dive into the four references to the tithe in the New Testament. Surprisingly, we never find Jesus or any New Testament author commanding us to tithe. Instead, the tithe serves as a cautionary tale, highlighting what NOT to do when it’s done with the wrong intentions.

  1. Matthew 23:23

  In Matthew 23:23, Jesus says to the Pharisees:

  "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill, and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former."

  Jesus acknowledges the Pharisees’ strict tithing, even of garden herbs, but points out that they neglected more important things like justice, mercy, and faithfulness. He doesn’t say tithing is wrong, but he emphasizes the importance of having a pure heart and focusing on the bigger picture of living a godly life.

  2. Luke 11:42

  Luke’s Gospel includes a parallel to Matthew 23:23, where Jesus says:

  "Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue, and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone."

  This passage echoes what Matthew said. The Pharisees were all about following the rules, especially about tithing, but they forgot to show God the love and justice that’s really important. Jesus said that just doing the right things on the outside, like tithing, isn’t enough.

  3. Luke 18:12

  In the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, the Pharisee boasts:

  "I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get."

  This part of the Pharisee’s prayer is super self-righteous, and it’s a total contrast to the humble tax collector. Jesus is pointing out that the Pharisee is being too proud and thinks he’s all righteous because he tithes. But tithing, like any spiritual practice, is pointless if you don’t have a humble and repentant heart.

  4. Hebrews 7:1-10

  The Book of Hebrews references tithing in its discussion of Melchizedek and Abraham:

  "This Melchizedek was king of Salem and priest of God Most High. He met Abraham returning from the defeat of the kings and blessed him, and Abraham gave him a tenth of everything..."

  The author of Hebrews uses this historical account to show how Melchizedek’s priesthood is better than any other, and it’s a picture of Christ’s eternal priesthood. Tithing here is like a way of honoring and recognizing spiritual authority. But this passage isn’t really about telling Christians how much to give, it’s about showing that Christ is our High Priest, the one who’s in charge forever.

  A New Testament Approach to Giving

  In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), Jesus goes beyond the rules and teaches us to understand the true meaning behind them. For instance, He explains the deeper meaning of the commands against murder and adultery, not just by saying they’re wrong, but by saying that anger and lust are the root causes. This principle also applies to giving. Jesus says that we should give generously, not just because it’s the right thing to do, but because it shows a changed heart. When our treasure is rooted in God’s kingdom, generosity flows naturally:

  "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

  And consider the early church’s crazy generosity in Acts 2:44-45. They all shared everything they had, and they sold their stuff to help anyone who needed it. This is the spirit of giving in the New Testament—a heart that’s been changed by the gospel. The New Testament doesn’t make tithing a strict rule for believers. Instead, it encourages us to give generously, out of love and thanksgiving (2 Corinthians 9:7).

  Takeaway

  The four New Testament references to the tithe give us some important clues, but they don’t make tithing a strict rule for today’s Christians. Instead, they point to a higher standard of giving—one that comes from being fair, kind, loving, and generous. While Christians today don’t have to tithe the same way it was done under the Mosaic Law, we’re still called to be good stewards of the resources God has given us. 

  A good rule of thumb is to make sure your giving is regular, proportionate, and sacrificial. It should be a regular spiritual discipline, whether weekly, monthly, or yearly. It should be in proportion to your income, whether 2%, 10%, or more. And it should be sacrificial, because we’re following a Savior who sacrificed his life to buy us the freedom we could never afford.

  ]]>Tithing isn’t mandated by the New Testament, but Christians should be good stewards of their money by giving regularly, proportionately, and sacrificially.

  --

  The Unveiling Mormonism podcast pulls back the curtain on Mormon history, culture and doctrine. Join us for new episodes every Monday.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/mormonism.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Tithing, the practice of giving 10% of your income to God, is a topic that Christians still talk about a lot. In the Old Testament, tithing is part of the Mosaic Law, but in the New Testament, people debate its place. Surprisingly, the word “tithe” (or its variations) only shows up four times in the New Testament. Before we dive into the New Testament, let’s quickly look at tithing in the Old Testament to understand what it tells us about the practice.

  The Nebulous Nature of the Tithe in the Old Testament

  In the Old Testament, the concept of the tithe is mentioned multiple times, but its exact application and scope were somewhat complex and varied. For example:

  1. Levitical Tithe: Numbers 18:21-24 describes a tithe given to the Levites as compensation for their service in the Tabernacle. This tithe was based on agricultural produce and livestock, not monetary income.
  2. Festival Tithe: Deuteronomy 14:22-27 outlines a tithe that was set aside for annual festivals. This tithe was consumed by the giver and their household in a celebratory feast before the Lord.
  3. Charity Tithe: Deuteronomy 14:28-29 refers to a tithe given every third year to support the poor, including the foreigner, the fatherless, and the widow.
  
  

  So, the “tithe” wasn’t a one-size-fits-all thing. It was actually a bunch of different obligations that served different purposes in ancient Israelite society. And guess what? It mostly applied to people who worked in farming, not to everyone who made money or had stuff. This is important to keep in mind when we think about how tithing might work in our modern world.

  The Four Appearances of the Tithe in the New Testament

  Now let’s dive into the four references to the tithe in the New Testament. Surprisingly, we never find Jesus or any New Testament author commanding us to tithe. Instead, the tithe serves as a cautionary tale, highlighting what NOT to do when it’s done with the wrong intentions.

  1. Matthew 23:23

  In Matthew 23:23, Jesus says to the Pharisees:

  "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill, and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former."

  Jesus acknowledges the Pharisees’ strict tithing, even of garden herbs, but points out that they neglected more important things like justice, mercy, and faithfulness. He doesn’t say tithing is wrong, but he emphasizes the importance of having a pure heart and focusing on the bigger picture of living a godly life.

  2. Luke 11:42

  Luke’s Gospel includes a parallel to Matthew 23:23, where Jesus says:

  "Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue, and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone."

  This passage echoes what Matthew said. The Pharisees were all about following the rules, especially about tithing, but they forgot to show God the love and justice that’s really important. Jesus said that just doing the right things on the outside, like tithing, isn’t enough.

  3. Luke 18:12

  In the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, the Pharisee boasts:

  "I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get."

  This part of the Pharisee’s prayer is super self-righteous, and it’s a total contrast to the humble tax collector. Jesus is pointing out that the Pharisee is being too proud and thinks he’s all righteous because he tithes. But tithing, like any spiritual practice, is pointless if you don’t have a humble and repentant heart.

  4. Hebrews 7:1-10

  The Book of Hebrews references tithing in its discussion of Melchizedek and Abraham:

  "This Melchizedek was king of Salem and priest of God Most High. He met Abraham returning from the defeat of the kings and blessed him, and Abraham gave him a tenth of everything..."

  The author of Hebrews uses this historical account to show how Melchizedek’s priesthood is better than any other, and it’s a picture of Christ’s eternal priesthood. Tithing here is like a way of honoring and recognizing spiritual authority. But this passage isn’t really about telling Christians how much to give, it’s about showing that Christ is our High Priest, the one who’s in charge forever.

  A New Testament Approach to Giving

  In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), Jesus goes beyond the rules and teaches us to understand the true meaning behind them. For instance, He explains the deeper meaning of the commands against murder and adultery, not just by saying they’re wrong, but by saying that anger and lust are the root causes. This principle also applies to giving. Jesus says that we should give generously, not just because it’s the right thing to do, but because it shows a changed heart. When our treasure is rooted in God’s kingdom, generosity flows naturally:

  "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

  And consider the early church’s crazy generosity in Acts 2:44-45. They all shared everything they had, and they sold their stuff to help anyone who needed it. This is the spirit of giving in the New Testament—a heart that’s been changed by the gospel. The New Testament doesn’t make tithing a strict rule for believers. Instead, it encourages us to give generously, out of love and thanksgiving (2 Corinthians 9:7).

  Takeaway

  The four New Testament references to the tithe give us some important clues, but they don’t make tithing a strict rule for today’s Christians. Instead, they point to a higher standard of giving—one that comes from being fair, kind, loving, and generous. While Christians today don’t have to tithe the same way it was done under the Mosaic Law, we’re still called to be good stewards of the resources God has given us. 

  A good rule of thumb is to make sure your giving is regular, proportionate, and sacrificial. It should be a regular spiritual discipline, whether weekly, monthly, or yearly. It should be in proportion to your income, whether 2%, 10%, or more. And it should be sacrificial, because we’re following a Savior who sacrificed his life to buy us the freedom we could never afford.

  ]]>21d15704-fe2c-4964-b25f-d937885af666Mon, 30 Dec 2024 05:00:00 -060037:44falsebonusAre You Making Room for Jesus? - The PursueGOD Truth PodcastThe innkeeper missed an opportunity to welcome the Savior - not because he was unwilling, but because he was unaware. What about YOU?

  --

  The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

  Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

  Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

  Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

  Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

  Donate Now

  --

  Intro

  • New Series starting today! 
  • The Christmas Story from People Who Were Actually There
  • The Innkeeper (today)
  • The Shepherds
  • The Wise Men
  • King Herod
  • Baby Jesus on Christmas Eve
  • Every week we’ll be digging deep on stuff you didn’t know
  • 
    
  • But I just want to take a few moments to ask you, Q. Are you making room for Jesus in your life?
  • Maybe you think it’s hard to be focused at Christmas, after all there are:
  • Projects to finish at work, budgets to set for next year, proposals to submit before the end of the year.
  • Family vacations to plan, parties to throw, presents to buy, and kids’ schedules to keep up with. 
  • In fact, life can get so busy in December that it’s pretty easy to push Christ out of Christmas.
  • We can spend so much time focusing on all the stuff around Christmas that we fail to make room for Jesus.
  • But here’s what’s amazing, the same thing happened on the very first Christmas.
  • Let me show you what I mean:
  
  

  Luke 2:1, 4-5 (NLT) 1 At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire…. 4 And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. 5 He took with him Mary, to whom he was engaged, who was now expecting a child.

  • Describe craziness of census
  • Connect to the busyness of travel during the holidays
  • Check out these stats from AAA
  • Nearly 80 Million Americans Expected to Travel over Thanksgiving (new record)
  • 72 million by car
  • 6 million by air
  • 2 million by “other” (joke)
  • Can you imagine the stress of Joseph and Mary? 
  • She was VERY pregnant, worst time to travel
  
  

  Luke 2:6-7 (NLT) 6 And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. 7 She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

  • (ESV) because there was no place for them in the inn.
  • This, of course, refers to the famous point in the Christmas story where Mary and Joseph were shooed away by an uncaring, busy, and inattentive innkeeper. As a result, they were forced to find a barn or cave which is where baby Jesus was born.
  • Although this is how the story is typically told, the real story of the first Christmas might have actually been a bit different.
  • The word “inn” is a tricky word to translate.
  • It can refer to a hotel as in the traditional understanding of the story.
  • Or, it can refer to a finished guest room in a home. 
  • For example, the same word for “inn” is used to describe the room where Jesus had his last supper with his disciples.
  • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) “Because there was no room for him in the inn” (KJV) is indelibly etched in Christian vernacular, but it is misleading. The Greek word katalyma does not refer to an “inn” or “hotel” (in the Parable of the Good Samarian, 10:34, the Greek word pandocheian means “inn” or “hotel”). Archaeology, even more than lexicography, has helped define katalyma properly as a “guest room” (so NIV). The footprint of a typical first-century Palestine dwelling was a rectangle divided into three spaces: a large central room with a stable for animals on one end and a guest room (katalyma) on the other. All three rooms normally had separate entrances. The katalyma was an attached guest room separated from the central room by a solid wall. The stable was separated from the central room by a half-wall, thus allowing the family to feed animals without going outdoors. When Joseph and Mary arrived in Bethlehem, the guest rooms in homes were already occupied, and hence the newborn Jesus was swaddled and placed in a manger.
  • Today: sounds like an attached garage
  • Or maybe an RV in the driveway (Christmas Vacation movie)
  • If this is the correct meaning of the word in Luke 2, then the innkeeper may have actually been a relative of Joseph. Joseph and Mary went to his house for lodging during the census.
  • But the relative told them that there was no room in the upper, furnished, comfortable part of the home.
  • As a result, Joseph and Mary would have had to stay in the lower, unfinished part of the home that housed animals and contained a manger.
  • Whatever the case, there was no room for Jesus on the first Christmas and it’s still that way today.
  • I want to take a few moments to think about the lessons of the innkeeper.
  • It’s easy to make fun of this guy as somebody who really blew a chance to be a hero and help welcome the savior of the world into his home. 
  • His problem wasn’t willingness; it was awareness. 
  • But his attitude the first Christmas reminds me a lot of our attitudes at Christmas.
  • Let’s do a personal audit with three questions about making room for Jesus
  
  

  Q. Are you making room for Jesus in your schedule? 

  • Not just at Christmas…
  • Think about what you do with your time…
  • Sports
  • Netflix
  • Kids activities
  • Time with friends
  • Time to read
  • Time to check Facebook
  • Christmas Parties
  • Christmas Eve service at church!
  • The problem isn’t that you don’t have room. The problem is that you aren’t making room.
  • Luke 10:39-40 (NLT) 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
  • Luke 10:41-42 (NLT) 41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
  • Explain
  • The 10-minute Challenge: 
  • Wake up 10 minutes early for 30 days
  • 5 minutes in the Bible
  • Try Proverbs or Luke
  • Or a YouVersion reading plan
  • 5 minutes in prayer/thanksgiving
  • It’s easier than you think!
  • This is a challenge that can become a regular habit
  
  

  Q. Are you making room for Jesus in your traditions?

  • Typical things we do at Christmas time:
  • Decorate
  • Driving around to see the lights
  • Elf on the Shelf
  • Christmas Stockings
  • Give gifts 
  • Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
  • Ex: present hawk
  • Watch Christmas Movies
  • It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
  • Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
  • How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966 and 2018)
  • A Christmas Story (1983)
  • National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
  • Home Alone (1990)
  • Elf (2003)
  • The Polar Express (2004)
  • Die Hard (1988)
  • These things are great! Family traditions are wonderful. But maybe it’s time to add something:
  • Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NLT) 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.
  • The Challenge: Start a New Christmas Tradition
  • Three ideas that we’ve used to bring Jesus into the celebration…
  • If you have kids at home:
  • Nativity Re-enactment
  • Advent Calendar 
  • Christmas Prayer Circle
  
  
  

  Q. Are you making room for Jesus in your budget?

  • Giving stats: how much people spend at Christmas
  • 
    
  • 2 Corinthians 8:12 (NLT) 12 Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give according to what you have, not what you don’t have.
  • Explain context
  • The Challenge: Step up your giving
  • For those those with tight budgets: establish the discipline of small monthly giving
  • I get it, not much room in budget
  • But there’s still value in the discipline
  • For those who have been blessed: establish the discipline of generous monthly giving
  • Think of how generous you are toward your retirement, etc.
  • There’s room in your budget; be generous toward God
  
  
  

  Close

  • Back to the Inn Keeper
  • He missed out on the Savior! We don’t have to.
  • Revelation 3:20 (NLT) 20 “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a...]]>The innkeeper missed an opportunity to welcome the Savior - not because he was unwilling, but because he was unaware. What about YOU?

    --

    The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    Intro

    • New Series starting today! 
    • The Christmas Story from People Who Were Actually There
    • The Innkeeper (today)
    • The Shepherds
    • The Wise Men
    • King Herod
    • Baby Jesus on Christmas Eve
    • Every week we’ll be digging deep on stuff you didn’t know
    • 
      
    • But I just want to take a few moments to ask you, Q. Are you making room for Jesus in your life?
    • Maybe you think it’s hard to be focused at Christmas, after all there are:
    • Projects to finish at work, budgets to set for next year, proposals to submit before the end of the year.
    • Family vacations to plan, parties to throw, presents to buy, and kids’ schedules to keep up with. 
    • In fact, life can get so busy in December that it’s pretty easy to push Christ out of Christmas.
    • We can spend so much time focusing on all the stuff around Christmas that we fail to make room for Jesus.
    • But here’s what’s amazing, the same thing happened on the very first Christmas.
    • Let me show you what I mean:
    
    

    Luke 2:1, 4-5 (NLT) 1 At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire…. 4 And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. 5 He took with him Mary, to whom he was engaged, who was now expecting a child.

    • Describe craziness of census
    • Connect to the busyness of travel during the holidays
    • Check out these stats from AAA
    • Nearly 80 Million Americans Expected to Travel over Thanksgiving (new record)
    • 72 million by car
    • 6 million by air
    • 2 million by “other” (joke)
    • Can you imagine the stress of Joseph and Mary? 
    • She was VERY pregnant, worst time to travel
    
    

    Luke 2:6-7 (NLT) 6 And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. 7 She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

    • (ESV) because there was no place for them in the inn.
    • This, of course, refers to the famous point in the Christmas story where Mary and Joseph were shooed away by an uncaring, busy, and inattentive innkeeper. As a result, they were forced to find a barn or cave which is where baby Jesus was born.
    • Although this is how the story is typically told, the real story of the first Christmas might have actually been a bit different.
    • The word “inn” is a tricky word to translate.
    • It can refer to a hotel as in the traditional understanding of the story.
    • Or, it can refer to a finished guest room in a home. 
    • For example, the same word for “inn” is used to describe the room where Jesus had his last supper with his disciples.
    • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) “Because there was no room for him in the inn” (KJV) is indelibly etched in Christian vernacular, but it is misleading. The Greek word katalyma does not refer to an “inn” or “hotel” (in the Parable of the Good Samarian, 10:34, the Greek word pandocheian means “inn” or “hotel”). Archaeology, even more than lexicography, has helped define katalyma properly as a “guest room” (so NIV). The footprint of a typical first-century Palestine dwelling was a rectangle divided into three spaces: a large central room with a stable for animals on one end and a guest room (katalyma) on the other. All three rooms normally had separate entrances. The katalyma was an attached guest room separated from the central room by a solid wall. The stable was separated from the central room by a half-wall, thus allowing the family to feed animals without going outdoors. When Joseph and Mary arrived in Bethlehem, the guest rooms in homes were already occupied, and hence the newborn Jesus was swaddled and placed in a manger.
    • Today: sounds like an attached garage
    • Or maybe an RV in the driveway (Christmas Vacation movie)
    • If this is the correct meaning of the word in Luke 2, then the innkeeper may have actually been a relative of Joseph. Joseph and Mary went to his house for lodging during the census.
    • But the relative told them that there was no room in the upper, furnished, comfortable part of the home.
    • As a result, Joseph and Mary would have had to stay in the lower, unfinished part of the home that housed animals and contained a manger.
    • Whatever the case, there was no room for Jesus on the first Christmas and it’s still that way today.
    • I want to take a few moments to think about the lessons of the innkeeper.
    • It’s easy to make fun of this guy as somebody who really blew a chance to be a hero and help welcome the savior of the world into his home. 
    • His problem wasn’t willingness; it was awareness. 
    • But his attitude the first Christmas reminds me a lot of our attitudes at Christmas.
    • Let’s do a personal audit with three questions about making room for Jesus
    
    

    Q. Are you making room for Jesus in your schedule? 

    • Not just at Christmas…
    • Think about what you do with your time…
    • Sports
    • Netflix
    • Kids activities
    • Time with friends
    • Time to read
    • Time to check Facebook
    • Christmas Parties
    • Christmas Eve service at church!
    • The problem isn’t that you don’t have room. The problem is that you aren’t making room.
    • Luke 10:39-40 (NLT) 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
    • Luke 10:41-42 (NLT) 41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
    • Explain
    • The 10-minute Challenge: 
    • Wake up 10 minutes early for 30 days
    • 5 minutes in the Bible
    • Try Proverbs or Luke
    • Or a YouVersion reading plan
    • 5 minutes in prayer/thanksgiving
    • It’s easier than you think!
    • This is a challenge that can become a regular habit
    
    

    Q. Are you making room for Jesus in your traditions?

    • Typical things we do at Christmas time:
    • Decorate
    • Driving around to see the lights
    • Elf on the Shelf
    • Christmas Stockings
    • Give gifts 
    • Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
    • Ex: present hawk
    • Watch Christmas Movies
    • It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
    • Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
    • How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966 and 2018)
    • A Christmas Story (1983)
    • National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
    • Home Alone (1990)
    • Elf (2003)
    • The Polar Express (2004)
    • Die Hard (1988)
    • These things are great! Family traditions are wonderful. But maybe it’s time to add something:
    • Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NLT) 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.
    • The Challenge: Start a New Christmas Tradition
    • Three ideas that we’ve used to bring Jesus into the celebration…
    • If you have kids at home:
    • Nativity Re-enactment
    • Advent Calendar 
    • Christmas Prayer Circle
    
    
    

    Q. Are you making room for Jesus in your budget?

    • Giving stats: how much people spend at Christmas
    • 
      
    • 2 Corinthians 8:12 (NLT) 12 Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give according to what you have, not what you don’t have.
    • Explain context
    • The Challenge: Step up your giving
    • For those those with tight budgets: establish the discipline of small monthly giving
    • I get it, not much room in budget
    • But there’s still value in the discipline
    • For those who have been blessed: establish the discipline of generous monthly giving
    • Think of how generous you are toward your retirement, etc.
    • There’s room in your budget; be generous toward God
    
    
    

    Close

    • Back to the Inn Keeper
    • He missed out on the Savior! We don’t have to.
    • Revelation 3:20 (NLT) 20 “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.”
    
    ]]>b5431a8e-abb1-4038-8257-e14be9e9f99dFri, 29 Nov 2024 05:00:00 -060034:58falsebonusAre Family Curses (and Blessings) Real? (Acts 16) - The PursueGOD Truth PodcastWelcome back to the podcast! In today's episode, we'll be talking about family curses...and blessings! Are they still a thing? Listen to find out!

    --

    The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    Q. Are Family Curses (and Blessings) Real?

    • Super scary verse in the OT (Second Commandment):
    • Exodus 20:4-5 (NLT) 4 “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 5 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. 
    • Generational curses? 
    • Need to cast out demons? “Bondage Breaker” book
    • No! This is more about learned behavior
    • Third and fourth generations
    • You may have met these people!
    • Influence extends to grandkids and great grandchildren
    • Principle: parenting matters!
    • You will pass on more than you think
    • Family idols (even today)
    • Alcoholism
    • Pride, selfishness
    • Materialism (wealth)
    • But don’t miss the next verse
    • Exodus 20:6 But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands.
    • God wants to bless your family!
    • A thousand generations vs. 3 or 4
    • But look at the recipient of this
    • Those who love me and obey my commands
    • The greatest generational blessing: salvation
    • Households where grandparents, parents, kids are all followers
    • Nothing better than this
    • Very few families have it
    • We’re going to see this in action in 3 families in Acts 16 today…
    
    

    Acts 16: (NLT) 1 Paul went first to Derbe and then to Lystra, where there was a young disciple named Timothy. His mother was a Jewish believer, but his father was a Greek.

    • This is Paul’s second missionary journey 
    • First time we meet Timothy. This guy becomes Paul’s protege. 
    • Jewish mom
    • Greek dad
    • 2 Timothy 1:5 (NLT) 5 I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.
    • Notice: no mention of father
    • Dad was likely not a Gentile follower of God
    • If he was, he would have had Timothy circumcised
    • One more hint about Timothy’s upbringing…
    • 2 Timothy 3:15 (NLT) 15 You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus.
    • Taught by mother and grandmother!
    • The point: if you want to pass on your faith, teach your kids the Bible early and often
    
    

    Next passage:

    Acts 16:13-14 (NLT) 13 On the Sabbath we went a little way outside the city to a riverbank, where we thought people would be meeting for prayer, and we sat down to speak with some women who had gathered there. 14 One of them was Lydia from Thyatira, a merchant of expensive purple cloth, who worshiped God. As she listened to us, the Lord opened her heart, and she accepted what Paul was saying.

    • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) The fact that she is named could mean that she was a person of some status, 'since it was normal in such a Greco-Roman setting not to mention women by personal name in public unless they were either notable or notorious.'
    
    

    Acts 16:15 (NLT) 15 She and her household were baptized, and she asked us to be her guests. “If you agree that I am a true believer in the Lord,” she said, “come and stay at my home.” And she urged us until we agreed.

    • Maybe a widow? Divorced? Either way, seems to be a single mom
    • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) A woman such as Lydia might have been head of a household in Greco-Roman culture because her husband had died or she was divorced, and less probably because she was a single woman of means.
    • Also very wealthy
    • Money doesn’t have to be a generational curse
    • She’s already using it to be a blessing
    • Main point: Look at her impact
    • she got saved, the household followed
    
    

    One more example: a blue collar worker dad, jailer where Paul and Silas were imprisoned:

    Acts 16:25-28 (NLT) 25 Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. 26 Suddenly, there was a massive earthquake, and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off! 27 The jailer woke up to see the prison doors wide open. He assumed the prisoners had escaped, so he drew his sword to kill himself. 28 But Paul shouted to him, “Stop! Don’t kill yourself! We are all here!”

    Acts 16:29-30 (NLT) 29 The jailer called for lights and ran to the dungeon and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 Then he brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

    Acts 16:31-33 (NLT) 31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.” 32 And they shared the word of the Lord with him and with all who lived in his household…. Then he and everyone in his household were immediately baptized.

    • Wow. This time a dad gets saved and the family follows
    
    

    What’s going on here? What can we learn from these three stories

    • A young man with a Christian mom and grandma (and unbelieving dad)
    • A wealthy single mom
    • A blue collar dad
    
    

    They’re included as a sampling of what was happening in the early church

    • People were getting saved
    • It was so powerful that it impacted their households
    • That’s how it should still work today
    • Moms and Dads embrace the message of Jesus
    • And they intentionally pass it on to their kids
    
    

    Back to the verse at the top:

    Exodus 20:6 But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands.

    • Family blessings are real! 
    • Parents: your love for God, your obedience to his commands
    • Can be passed on to generations
    
    ]]>Welcome back to the podcast! In today's episode, we'll be talking about family curses...and blessings! Are they still a thing? Listen to find out!

    --

    The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    Q. Are Family Curses (and Blessings) Real?

    • Super scary verse in the OT (Second Commandment):
    • Exodus 20:4-5 (NLT) 4 “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 5 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. 
    • Generational curses? 
    • Need to cast out demons? “Bondage Breaker” book
    • No! This is more about learned behavior
    • Third and fourth generations
    • You may have met these people!
    • Influence extends to grandkids and great grandchildren
    • Principle: parenting matters!
    • You will pass on more than you think
    • Family idols (even today)
    • Alcoholism
    • Pride, selfishness
    • Materialism (wealth)
    • But don’t miss the next verse
    • Exodus 20:6 But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands.
    • God wants to bless your family!
    • A thousand generations vs. 3 or 4
    • But look at the recipient of this
    • Those who love me and obey my commands
    • The greatest generational blessing: salvation
    • Households where grandparents, parents, kids are all followers
    • Nothing better than this
    • Very few families have it
    • We’re going to see this in action in 3 families in Acts 16 today…
    
    

    Acts 16: (NLT) 1 Paul went first to Derbe and then to Lystra, where there was a young disciple named Timothy. His mother was a Jewish believer, but his father was a Greek.

    • This is Paul’s second missionary journey 
    • First time we meet Timothy. This guy becomes Paul’s protege. 
    • Jewish mom
    • Greek dad
    • 2 Timothy 1:5 (NLT) 5 I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.
    • Notice: no mention of father
    • Dad was likely not a Gentile follower of God
    • If he was, he would have had Timothy circumcised
    • One more hint about Timothy’s upbringing…
    • 2 Timothy 3:15 (NLT) 15 You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus.
    • Taught by mother and grandmother!
    • The point: if you want to pass on your faith, teach your kids the Bible early and often
    
    

    Next passage:

    Acts 16:13-14 (NLT) 13 On the Sabbath we went a little way outside the city to a riverbank, where we thought people would be meeting for prayer, and we sat down to speak with some women who had gathered there. 14 One of them was Lydia from Thyatira, a merchant of expensive purple cloth, who worshiped God. As she listened to us, the Lord opened her heart, and she accepted what Paul was saying.

    • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) The fact that she is named could mean that she was a person of some status, 'since it was normal in such a Greco-Roman setting not to mention women by personal name in public unless they were either notable or notorious.'
    
    

    Acts 16:15 (NLT) 15 She and her household were baptized, and she asked us to be her guests. “If you agree that I am a true believer in the Lord,” she said, “come and stay at my home.” And she urged us until we agreed.

    • Maybe a widow? Divorced? Either way, seems to be a single mom
    • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) A woman such as Lydia might have been head of a household in Greco-Roman culture because her husband had died or she was divorced, and less probably because she was a single woman of means.
    • Also very wealthy
    • Money doesn’t have to be a generational curse
    • She’s already using it to be a blessing
    • Main point: Look at her impact
    • she got saved, the household followed
    
    

    One more example: a blue collar worker dad, jailer where Paul and Silas were imprisoned:

    Acts 16:25-28 (NLT) 25 Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. 26 Suddenly, there was a massive earthquake, and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off! 27 The jailer woke up to see the prison doors wide open. He assumed the prisoners had escaped, so he drew his sword to kill himself. 28 But Paul shouted to him, “Stop! Don’t kill yourself! We are all here!”

    Acts 16:29-30 (NLT) 29 The jailer called for lights and ran to the dungeon and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 Then he brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

    Acts 16:31-33 (NLT) 31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.” 32 And they shared the word of the Lord with him and with all who lived in his household…. Then he and everyone in his household were immediately baptized.

    • Wow. This time a dad gets saved and the family follows
    
    

    What’s going on here? What can we learn from these three stories

    • A young man with a Christian mom and grandma (and unbelieving dad)
    • A wealthy single mom
    • A blue collar dad
    
    

    They’re included as a sampling of what was happening in the early church

    • People were getting saved
    • It was so powerful that it impacted their households
    • That’s how it should still work today
    • Moms and Dads embrace the message of Jesus
    • And they intentionally pass it on to their kids
    
    

    Back to the verse at the top:

    Exodus 20:6 But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands.

    • Family blessings are real! 
    • Parents: your love for God, your obedience to his commands
    • Can be passed on to generations
    
    ]]>abea9572-9260-4f27-a4a3-6788d5b93150Fri, 15 Nov 2024 05:00:00 -060024:50falsebonusShould Christians Celebrate Halloween?Halloween is a widely celebrated holiday that involves costumes, candy, and a variety of spooky activities. However, for many Christians, the origins and themes of Halloween raise important questions. Should believers participate in a holiday with roots in paganism and associations with the occult? This question is a matter of personal conviction, but exploring biblical principles can help guide us toward a thoughtful, Christ-centered decision.

    --

    The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    The History of All Hallow’s Eve: The Origins of Halloween

    All Hallow’s Eve, now widely known as Halloween, is a holiday with deep historical roots that stretch back centuries. Its origins lie in the blending of ancient pagan traditions with early Christian practices, resulting in a complex history that reflects the intersection of cultures, beliefs, and religious observances.

    1. Ancient Celtic Festival of Samhain

    The earliest origins of Halloween can be traced to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced "sow-in"), which was celebrated by the Celts over 2,000 years ago, primarily in what is now Ireland, the UK, and northern France. Samhain marked the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter, which was often associated with death. The Celts believed that on the night of October 31, the boundary between the physical world and the spirit world became thin, allowing ghosts and spirits to cross over.

    During Samhain, people would light bonfires and wear costumes made from animal skins to ward off wandering spirits. Offerings of food and drink were also made to appease the spirits, ensuring protection from harm during the harsh winter months.

    2. The Roman Influence

    As the Roman Empire expanded and conquered Celtic lands by the first century AD, the Romans brought their own festivals and beliefs, which blended with the local traditions. One such Roman festival was Feralia, a day in late October when Romans commemorated the dead. Another was Pomona, a celebration of the goddess of fruits and trees. The association of Pomona with apples likely contributed to later Halloween traditions such as bobbing for apples.

    3. Christianization of Samhain: All Saints' Day

    With the spread of Christianity across Europe, many pagan festivals were Christianized to align with church doctrine. In the 8th century, Pope Gregory III moved All Saints’ Day—a day to honor all Christian saints and martyrs—to November 1. This was likely an attempt to replace or overshadow Samhain, which fell on the previous day. The evening before All Saints' Day became known as All Hallows’ Eve, meaning “the evening before All Saints.” Over time, the name evolved into "Halloween."

    All Saints’ Day (also called All Hallows' Day) was followed by All Souls’ Day on November 2, a day to pray for the souls of the deceased who had not yet entered heaven. Together, these days formed a trilogy of holy observances dedicated to the dead, which became deeply entwined with the older pagan traditions of honoring the dead around the same time of year.

    See also: Catholics vs. Protestants 

    4. Medieval and Early Modern Halloween Practices

    During the medieval period in Europe, All Hallows’ Eve continued to be a time associated with the dead, though with increasing Christian influence. "Souling" was a common practice where poor people would go door-to-door on All Hallows’ Eve, offering prayers for the dead in exchange for food or money. This practice bears some resemblance to modern-day trick-or-treating, though it had a much more spiritual dimension.

    During this period, superstitions and fear of evil spirits were also prominent. People believed that the dead could still roam the earth on All Hallows’ Eve, and they would light candles or carve lanterns out of turnips (predecessors to today's pumpkins) to ward off these malevolent spirits.

    5. Halloween in America

    Halloween as we know it began to take shape in the 19th century when Irish and Scottish immigrants brought their traditions to the United States. They celebrated Halloween with a mix of customs from Samhain and All Hallows’ Eve, including dressing up in costumes, playing pranks, and engaging in festivities that included telling ghost stories.

    As these traditions merged with American culture, Halloween became more secularized, especially by the early 20th century. Communities began to focus on Halloween as a time for family-oriented fun, with costume parties, trick-or-treating, and pumpkin carving becoming central elements. The spooky aspects of Halloween, such as ghosts, witches, and skeletons, persisted, though in a more playful and commercialized form.

    Back to the question…

    The concern for many Christians is that Halloween continues to feature imagery and practices associated with darkness, death, and the supernatural. The Bible speaks clearly about avoiding any involvement with the occult. In Deuteronomy 18:10-12, God’s people are instructed to reject practices like witchcraft, divination, and sorcery, which are detestable to Him. Similarly, Ephesians 5:11 says, "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them."

    A Matter of the Heart

    While the origins of Halloween raise valid concerns, the deeper issue for Christians is how we approach the holiday from the heart. Jesus teaches in Matthew 15:18-20 that what comes out of a person’s heart is more important than external actions or rituals. Our focus should be on honoring God in all that we do. As Colossians 3:17 instructs, "Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

    Some Christians view Halloween as a harmless opportunity for family fun—dressing up in non-scary costumes, enjoying fellowship, and reaching out to neighbors. Others feel convicted to avoid the holiday altogether, preferring not to engage in activities that even loosely align with pagan or occult traditions. Both perspectives are valid, as long as the motivation is to honor God and live according to personal conviction under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

    Biblical Principles for Decision-Making

    When it comes to making a decision about Halloween, here are a few biblical principles that can help guide us:

    1. Avoiding Participation in Darkness: As Christians, we are called to be light in the world (Matthew 5:14-16). This means avoiding practices and symbols that glorify evil, death, and fear. While wearing costumes or handing out candy might seem innocent, we should ask ourselves if we are inadvertently celebrating themes that are contrary to God’s Word.
    2. Freedom in Christ: Romans 14:5-6 reminds us that some believers may feel free to participate in certain activities while others may not. “One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.” There is room for different convictions, as long as our motivation is to glorify God.
    3. A Witness to the World: Halloween can provide unique opportunities for evangelism and connection with the community. Instead of shutting doors and isolating ourselves, some Christians use Halloween as a way to shine the light of Christ. This might include handing out gospel tracts along with candy or hosting a "fall festival" at church as a family-friendly alternative. As 1 Peter 3:15 says, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."
    4. Living in Discernment: In 1 Corinthians 10:23, Paul teaches, "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." Just because something is allowed doesn’t mean it is helpful or edifying. As we consider Halloween, we need to exercise discernment, asking whether our participation will glorify God or distract us from our walk with Him.
    
    

    The Takeaway

    In the end, whether or not Christians should celebrate Halloween is a matter of personal conviction. The most important thing is to seek God’s wisdom and allow the Holy Spirit to guide our choices. We must ask ourselves how our actions align with our faith and whether they help or hinder our witness for Christ.

    Instead of getting caught up in debates or focusing on the external elements of Halloween, we should focus on the internal condition of our hearts. Whether we choose to participate in Halloween or abstain from it, the goal should always be to glorify God and reflect His love to the world around us.

    As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:31,]]>Halloween is a widely celebrated holiday that involves costumes, candy, and a variety of spooky activities. However, for many Christians, the origins and themes of Halloween raise important questions. Should believers participate in a holiday with roots in paganism and associations with the occult? This question is a matter of personal conviction, but exploring biblical principles can help guide us toward a thoughtful, Christ-centered decision.

    --

    The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    The History of All Hallow’s Eve: The Origins of Halloween

    All Hallow’s Eve, now widely known as Halloween, is a holiday with deep historical roots that stretch back centuries. Its origins lie in the blending of ancient pagan traditions with early Christian practices, resulting in a complex history that reflects the intersection of cultures, beliefs, and religious observances.

    1. Ancient Celtic Festival of Samhain

    The earliest origins of Halloween can be traced to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced "sow-in"), which was celebrated by the Celts over 2,000 years ago, primarily in what is now Ireland, the UK, and northern France. Samhain marked the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter, which was often associated with death. The Celts believed that on the night of October 31, the boundary between the physical world and the spirit world became thin, allowing ghosts and spirits to cross over.

    During Samhain, people would light bonfires and wear costumes made from animal skins to ward off wandering spirits. Offerings of food and drink were also made to appease the spirits, ensuring protection from harm during the harsh winter months.

    2. The Roman Influence

    As the Roman Empire expanded and conquered Celtic lands by the first century AD, the Romans brought their own festivals and beliefs, which blended with the local traditions. One such Roman festival was Feralia, a day in late October when Romans commemorated the dead. Another was Pomona, a celebration of the goddess of fruits and trees. The association of Pomona with apples likely contributed to later Halloween traditions such as bobbing for apples.

    3. Christianization of Samhain: All Saints' Day

    With the spread of Christianity across Europe, many pagan festivals were Christianized to align with church doctrine. In the 8th century, Pope Gregory III moved All Saints’ Day—a day to honor all Christian saints and martyrs—to November 1. This was likely an attempt to replace or overshadow Samhain, which fell on the previous day. The evening before All Saints' Day became known as All Hallows’ Eve, meaning “the evening before All Saints.” Over time, the name evolved into "Halloween."

    All Saints’ Day (also called All Hallows' Day) was followed by All Souls’ Day on November 2, a day to pray for the souls of the deceased who had not yet entered heaven. Together, these days formed a trilogy of holy observances dedicated to the dead, which became deeply entwined with the older pagan traditions of honoring the dead around the same time of year.

    See also: Catholics vs. Protestants 

    4. Medieval and Early Modern Halloween Practices

    During the medieval period in Europe, All Hallows’ Eve continued to be a time associated with the dead, though with increasing Christian influence. "Souling" was a common practice where poor people would go door-to-door on All Hallows’ Eve, offering prayers for the dead in exchange for food or money. This practice bears some resemblance to modern-day trick-or-treating, though it had a much more spiritual dimension.

    During this period, superstitions and fear of evil spirits were also prominent. People believed that the dead could still roam the earth on All Hallows’ Eve, and they would light candles or carve lanterns out of turnips (predecessors to today's pumpkins) to ward off these malevolent spirits.

    5. Halloween in America

    Halloween as we know it began to take shape in the 19th century when Irish and Scottish immigrants brought their traditions to the United States. They celebrated Halloween with a mix of customs from Samhain and All Hallows’ Eve, including dressing up in costumes, playing pranks, and engaging in festivities that included telling ghost stories.

    As these traditions merged with American culture, Halloween became more secularized, especially by the early 20th century. Communities began to focus on Halloween as a time for family-oriented fun, with costume parties, trick-or-treating, and pumpkin carving becoming central elements. The spooky aspects of Halloween, such as ghosts, witches, and skeletons, persisted, though in a more playful and commercialized form.

    Back to the question…

    The concern for many Christians is that Halloween continues to feature imagery and practices associated with darkness, death, and the supernatural. The Bible speaks clearly about avoiding any involvement with the occult. In Deuteronomy 18:10-12, God’s people are instructed to reject practices like witchcraft, divination, and sorcery, which are detestable to Him. Similarly, Ephesians 5:11 says, "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them."

    A Matter of the Heart

    While the origins of Halloween raise valid concerns, the deeper issue for Christians is how we approach the holiday from the heart. Jesus teaches in Matthew 15:18-20 that what comes out of a person’s heart is more important than external actions or rituals. Our focus should be on honoring God in all that we do. As Colossians 3:17 instructs, "Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

    Some Christians view Halloween as a harmless opportunity for family fun—dressing up in non-scary costumes, enjoying fellowship, and reaching out to neighbors. Others feel convicted to avoid the holiday altogether, preferring not to engage in activities that even loosely align with pagan or occult traditions. Both perspectives are valid, as long as the motivation is to honor God and live according to personal conviction under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

    Biblical Principles for Decision-Making

    When it comes to making a decision about Halloween, here are a few biblical principles that can help guide us:

    1. Avoiding Participation in Darkness: As Christians, we are called to be light in the world (Matthew 5:14-16). This means avoiding practices and symbols that glorify evil, death, and fear. While wearing costumes or handing out candy might seem innocent, we should ask ourselves if we are inadvertently celebrating themes that are contrary to God’s Word.
    2. Freedom in Christ: Romans 14:5-6 reminds us that some believers may feel free to participate in certain activities while others may not. “One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.” There is room for different convictions, as long as our motivation is to glorify God.
    3. A Witness to the World: Halloween can provide unique opportunities for evangelism and connection with the community. Instead of shutting doors and isolating ourselves, some Christians use Halloween as a way to shine the light of Christ. This might include handing out gospel tracts along with candy or hosting a "fall festival" at church as a family-friendly alternative. As 1 Peter 3:15 says, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."
    4. Living in Discernment: In 1 Corinthians 10:23, Paul teaches, "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." Just because something is allowed doesn’t mean it is helpful or edifying. As we consider Halloween, we need to exercise discernment, asking whether our participation will glorify God or distract us from our walk with Him.
    
    

    The Takeaway

    In the end, whether or not Christians should celebrate Halloween is a matter of personal conviction. The most important thing is to seek God’s wisdom and allow the Holy Spirit to guide our choices. We must ask ourselves how our actions align with our faith and whether they help or hinder our witness for Christ.

    Instead of getting caught up in debates or focusing on the external elements of Halloween, we should focus on the internal condition of our hearts. Whether we choose to participate in Halloween or abstain from it, the goal should always be to glorify God and reflect His love to the world around us.

    As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:31, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

    ]]>d5e1e9aa-84b4-4c51-8fbd-91397463c0ebWed, 23 Oct 2024 05:00:00 -060013:05falsefullThe 5 Traits of an Emotionally Intelligent MarriageEmotional intelligence (EQ) is crucial for successful relationships, including marriage. EQ is different from IQ and focuses on understanding and managing emotions, as well as understanding others. The five traits of EQ are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill. In this episode, Bryan and Tracy discuss the importance of EQ for a healthy marriage.

    --

    The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    ]]>Emotional intelligence (EQ) is crucial for successful relationships, including marriage. EQ is different from IQ and focuses on understanding and managing emotions, as well as understanding others. The five traits of EQ are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill. In this episode, Bryan and Tracy discuss the importance of EQ for a healthy marriage.

    --

    The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    ]]>b0cd0d19-18f6-42ab-86ec-2801b443af4bWed, 24 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -060033:59falsefullTake the Selfishness Test for Your MarriageIn this conversation, Bryan and Tracy discuss the topic of selfishness in marriage. They explore five areas where selfish attitudes and behaviors tend to appear: finances, preferences, emotions, time, and chores. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and admitting one's own selfishness and making a commitment to be less selfish. They also discuss the need for open communication, compromise, and serving each other in order to have a healthy and thriving marriage.

    Takeaways:

    • Selfishness can be present in various areas of a marriage, including finances, preferences, emotions, time, and chores.
    • It is important to recognize and admit one's own selfishness in order to grow and improve as a spouse.
    • Open communication and compromise are key in addressing selfish attitudes and behaviors in a marriage.
    • Serving each other and considering the needs and preferences of one's spouse is essential for a healthy and thriving marriage.
    
    

    --

    The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    ]]>In this conversation, Bryan and Tracy discuss the topic of selfishness in marriage. They explore five areas where selfish attitudes and behaviors tend to appear: finances, preferences, emotions, time, and chores. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and admitting one's own selfishness and making a commitment to be less selfish. They also discuss the need for open communication, compromise, and serving each other in order to have a healthy and thriving marriage.

    Takeaways:

    • Selfishness can be present in various areas of a marriage, including finances, preferences, emotions, time, and chores.
    • It is important to recognize and admit one's own selfishness in order to grow and improve as a spouse.
    • Open communication and compromise are key in addressing selfish attitudes and behaviors in a marriage.
    • Serving each other and considering the needs and preferences of one's spouse is essential for a healthy and thriving marriage.
    
    

    --

    The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    ]]>48d5de55-23cc-4fcd-a6bd-cff891317816Wed, 17 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -060032:03falsefullPersonality Types in MarriageIn this conversation, Bryan and Tracy discuss the importance of understanding personality types in marriage and parenting. They focus on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) as a framework for understanding different personality types. They explain that the purpose of understanding personality types is not to change the other person, but to gain insight into their strengths and weaknesses. They discuss the four main indicators of the MBTI: introvert vs. extrovert, sensor vs. intuitive, thinker vs. feeler, and judger vs. perceiver. They provide examples and personal anecdotes to illustrate how these indicators can impact relationships. They emphasize the importance of self-awareness and empathy in building healthy relationships.

    Takeaways:

    • Understanding personality types can provide insight into the strengths and weaknesses of individuals in relationships.
    • The purpose of understanding personality types is not to change the other person, but to gain understanding and empathy.
    • The four main indicators of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) are introvert vs. extrovert, sensor vs. intuitive, thinker vs. feeler, and judger vs. perceiver.
    • Each person falls on a spectrum for each indicator, and it is important to recognize and respect these differences in relationships.
    • Self-awareness and empathy are key in navigating conflicts and finding compromise in relationships.
    
    

    Find discussion questions to talk about this at FLEXTALK.org.

    Or for a faith-based conversation, find it at pursueGOD.org.

    --

    The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    ]]>In this conversation, Bryan and Tracy discuss the importance of understanding personality types in marriage and parenting. They focus on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) as a framework for understanding different personality types. They explain that the purpose of understanding personality types is not to change the other person, but to gain insight into their strengths and weaknesses. They discuss the four main indicators of the MBTI: introvert vs. extrovert, sensor vs. intuitive, thinker vs. feeler, and judger vs. perceiver. They provide examples and personal anecdotes to illustrate how these indicators can impact relationships. They emphasize the importance of self-awareness and empathy in building healthy relationships.

    Takeaways:

    • Understanding personality types can provide insight into the strengths and weaknesses of individuals in relationships.
    • The purpose of understanding personality types is not to change the other person, but to gain understanding and empathy.
    • The four main indicators of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) are introvert vs. extrovert, sensor vs. intuitive, thinker vs. feeler, and judger vs. perceiver.
    • Each person falls on a spectrum for each indicator, and it is important to recognize and respect these differences in relationships.
    • Self-awareness and empathy are key in navigating conflicts and finding compromise in relationships.
    
    

    Find discussion questions to talk about this at FLEXTALK.org.

    Or for a faith-based conversation, find it at pursueGOD.org.

    --

    The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    ]]>b8afe189-1a8e-4b45-860e-6ab1ecf68a32Wed, 10 Jul 2024 05:00:00 -060039:03falsefullHow Good Is Good Enough for God? - The PursueGOD Truth PodcastAlmost every world religion offers a pathway to heaven through good works and personal efforts. Some even include a list of sacraments: Holy rituals by which a person can merit salvation. But Christianity is different. According to the Bible, there’s only one way to know if you’re good enough for God, and it has nothing to do with what you can do.

    --

    The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

    Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

    Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

    Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

    Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

    Donate Now

    --

    Before we look at what the Bible says, let’s do a quick survey of a few popular world religions…

    Hinduism: Hinduism does not have a singular concept of salvation but rather multiple paths (yogas) that lead to spiritual liberation (moksha) from the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth (samsara). These paths include devotion (bhakti), knowledge (jnana), and selfless action (karma yoga), among others. Salvation is achieved when an individual realizes their true self (atman) as one with the ultimate reality (Brahman). (Liberation depends on YOU.)

    Buddhism: Salvation in Buddhism is the cessation of suffering and the cycle of rebirth, achieved through the elimination of desire and ignorance. In Buddhism, the goal is to attain enlightenment (nirvana) by following the Noble Eightfold Path, which includes principles such as right understanding, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. (Nirvana depends on YOU.)

    Islam: In Islam, the plan of salvation involves belief in the oneness of God (Allah) and the prophethood of Muhammad. Muslims believe in living a righteous life according to the teachings of the Quran and the Hadith (sayings of Muhammad). Salvation is achieved through faith, repentance, and good deeds, with the ultimate reward being entry into paradise. Salvation in Islam is not guaranteed solely by faith or deeds but is ultimately dependent on the mercy and judgment of Allah. Muslims strive to live a life that is pleasing to Allah and to follow the teachings of Islam in the hope of attaining salvation in the afterlife. (Paradise depends on YOU.)

    
    

    (Note: similarity with Mormonism. “Saved by grace after all we can do.”) - Don’t include this in sermon!

    
    

    TRANS: So what does Christianity teach? To find that answer we need to look at one more world religion: Judaism. Jesus was Jewish. Christianity came out of Judaism. Understanding the link between those two religions, and specifically the key difference between them, will give us the insight we need to answer our question today. Let’s start with the words of Jesus from his famous Sermon on the Mount:

    
    

    Perfection

    Matthew 5:17 (NLT) “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose.”

    
    

    When Jesus talks about “the law and the prophets” he’s referring to Judaism. Here’s Judaism in a nutshell:

    1. God chose Abraham and made him some promises (Gen 12)
    2. God gave the 10 commandments to Moses - rules to live by in the land of promise they were about to enter.
    3. The people kept breaking the laws and failing to live right.
    4. Judges 21:25 (NLT) In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.
    
    
    

    In Mt 5 Jesus is basically saying: “There’s nothing wrong with the law; there’s something wrong with the people.” That’s why he said this:

    
    

    Matthew 5:20 (NLT) “But I warn you—unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!”

    
    

    Jesus goes on in the sermon to list examples in every area of life:

    1. You’ve heard “don’t murder,” but I say anger = murder in your heart
    2. You’ve heard “don’t adulterate,” but I say lust = adultery in your heart
    3. You’ve heard “the punishment must match the crime,” but I say turn the other cheek
    4. You’ve heard “love your neighbor,” but I say “love your enemy”
    
    
    

    Then Jesus finishes the section with this crazy statement:

    Matthew 5:48 (NLT) But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

    1. So, how good is good enough? Perfection. Anything less won’t work.
    
    
    

    The Pickle

    This leaves us in a pickle. God requires perfection, but people are far from it. The Apostle Paul explained this clearly in his letter to the Romans:

    
    

    Romans 3:20 (NLT) For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are.

    
    

    This is crazy: Paul used to be a Pharisee! He was one of those guys from the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus was talking about. He was trying to get to God through his own works. Here’s how Paul himself explained it:

    
    

    Philippians 3:5-6 (NLT) I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.

    
    

    This next verse I want to use the NIV, because it helps us to calculate what Paul is trying to say:

    
    

    Philippians 3:7 (NIV) But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.

    1. (Pillar New Testament Commentary) The shift from plural gains to singular loss indicates that Paul is not giving different values to each of his assets, discounting them at different rates: some are marked down 50%; others down 90%. Because of Christ, Paul has counted up all of his assets and considered them to be one huge liability. After his conversion to Christ, Paul recalculates the value of all of the advantages of his family and his accomplishments, his social class and his moral achievements, and then he enters the new bottom line: they all add up to one overwhelming disadvantage, one huge loss.
    2. Paul was in the red… and then he met Christ
    3. Famous Mormon example of a dad buying bike for his kid?
    
    

    The Gift

    Here’s how Paul explained the math to the Ephesians:

    
    

    Ephesians 2:8-9 (NLT) God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.

    
    

    Think about the word “gift”. How much do you pay for it? Exactly nothing. Once you pay for it, it’s no longer a gift!

    1. Ex: Ross at the summer outreach event. Guy trying to pay for water bottle.
    
    
    

    Two things about a gift:

    1. “None of us can boast about it.” - religious boasting
    2. We don’t have to wonder if we’ve done enough.
    3. Contrast with Islam: “Salvation in Islam is not guaranteed solely by faith or deeds…. Muslims strive to live a life that is pleasing to Allah and to follow the teachings of Islam in the hope of attaining salvation in the afterlife.”
    4. But they’ll never know for sure!!
    
    
    

    Back to Romans for two more verses:

    
    

    Romans 3:21-22 (NLT) But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law…. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.

    
    

    So the Bible’s answer to the question “How good is good enough for God?” reveals the difference between Christianity and every other religion.

    1. Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam are all “works-based”– It’s about...]]>Almost every world religion offers a pathway to heaven through good works and personal efforts. Some even include a list of sacraments: Holy rituals by which a person can merit salvation. But Christianity is different. According to the Bible, there’s only one way to know if you’re good enough for God, and it has nothing to do with what you can do.

       --

       The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

       Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

       Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

       Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

       Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

       Donate Now

       --

       Before we look at what the Bible says, let’s do a quick survey of a few popular world religions…

       Hinduism: Hinduism does not have a singular concept of salvation but rather multiple paths (yogas) that lead to spiritual liberation (moksha) from the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth (samsara). These paths include devotion (bhakti), knowledge (jnana), and selfless action (karma yoga), among others. Salvation is achieved when an individual realizes their true self (atman) as one with the ultimate reality (Brahman). (Liberation depends on YOU.)

       Buddhism: Salvation in Buddhism is the cessation of suffering and the cycle of rebirth, achieved through the elimination of desire and ignorance. In Buddhism, the goal is to attain enlightenment (nirvana) by following the Noble Eightfold Path, which includes principles such as right understanding, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. (Nirvana depends on YOU.)

       Islam: In Islam, the plan of salvation involves belief in the oneness of God (Allah) and the prophethood of Muhammad. Muslims believe in living a righteous life according to the teachings of the Quran and the Hadith (sayings of Muhammad). Salvation is achieved through faith, repentance, and good deeds, with the ultimate reward being entry into paradise. Salvation in Islam is not guaranteed solely by faith or deeds but is ultimately dependent on the mercy and judgment of Allah. Muslims strive to live a life that is pleasing to Allah and to follow the teachings of Islam in the hope of attaining salvation in the afterlife. (Paradise depends on YOU.)

       
       

       (Note: similarity with Mormonism. “Saved by grace after all we can do.”) - Don’t include this in sermon!

       
       

       TRANS: So what does Christianity teach? To find that answer we need to look at one more world religion: Judaism. Jesus was Jewish. Christianity came out of Judaism. Understanding the link between those two religions, and specifically the key difference between them, will give us the insight we need to answer our question today. Let’s start with the words of Jesus from his famous Sermon on the Mount:

       
       

       Perfection

       Matthew 5:17 (NLT) “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose.”

       
       

       When Jesus talks about “the law and the prophets” he’s referring to Judaism. Here’s Judaism in a nutshell:

       1. God chose Abraham and made him some promises (Gen 12)
       2. God gave the 10 commandments to Moses - rules to live by in the land of promise they were about to enter.
       3. The people kept breaking the laws and failing to live right.
       4. Judges 21:25 (NLT) In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.
       
       
       

       In Mt 5 Jesus is basically saying: “There’s nothing wrong with the law; there’s something wrong with the people.” That’s why he said this:

       
       

       Matthew 5:20 (NLT) “But I warn you—unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!”

       
       

       Jesus goes on in the sermon to list examples in every area of life:

       1. You’ve heard “don’t murder,” but I say anger = murder in your heart
       2. You’ve heard “don’t adulterate,” but I say lust = adultery in your heart
       3. You’ve heard “the punishment must match the crime,” but I say turn the other cheek
       4. You’ve heard “love your neighbor,” but I say “love your enemy”
       
       
       

       Then Jesus finishes the section with this crazy statement:

       Matthew 5:48 (NLT) But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

       1. So, how good is good enough? Perfection. Anything less won’t work.
       
       
       

       The Pickle

       This leaves us in a pickle. God requires perfection, but people are far from it. The Apostle Paul explained this clearly in his letter to the Romans:

       
       

       Romans 3:20 (NLT) For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are.

       
       

       This is crazy: Paul used to be a Pharisee! He was one of those guys from the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus was talking about. He was trying to get to God through his own works. Here’s how Paul himself explained it:

       
       

       Philippians 3:5-6 (NLT) I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.

       
       

       This next verse I want to use the NIV, because it helps us to calculate what Paul is trying to say:

       
       

       Philippians 3:7 (NIV) But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.

       1. (Pillar New Testament Commentary) The shift from plural gains to singular loss indicates that Paul is not giving different values to each of his assets, discounting them at different rates: some are marked down 50%; others down 90%. Because of Christ, Paul has counted up all of his assets and considered them to be one huge liability. After his conversion to Christ, Paul recalculates the value of all of the advantages of his family and his accomplishments, his social class and his moral achievements, and then he enters the new bottom line: they all add up to one overwhelming disadvantage, one huge loss.
       2. Paul was in the red… and then he met Christ
       3. Famous Mormon example of a dad buying bike for his kid?
       
       

       The Gift

       Here’s how Paul explained the math to the Ephesians:

       
       

       Ephesians 2:8-9 (NLT) God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.

       
       

       Think about the word “gift”. How much do you pay for it? Exactly nothing. Once you pay for it, it’s no longer a gift!

       1. Ex: Ross at the summer outreach event. Guy trying to pay for water bottle.
       
       
       

       Two things about a gift:

       1. “None of us can boast about it.” - religious boasting
       2. We don’t have to wonder if we’ve done enough.
       3. Contrast with Islam: “Salvation in Islam is not guaranteed solely by faith or deeds…. Muslims strive to live a life that is pleasing to Allah and to follow the teachings of Islam in the hope of attaining salvation in the afterlife.”
       4. But they’ll never know for sure!!
       
       
       

       Back to Romans for two more verses:

       
       

       Romans 3:21-22 (NLT) But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law…. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.

       
       

       So the Bible’s answer to the question “How good is good enough for God?” reveals the difference between Christianity and every other religion.

       1. Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam are all “works-based”– It’s about what YOU can do to reach enlightenment, earn nirvanah, become righteous.
       2. Christianity has a different message: YOU can’t do anything to save yourself. People have tried, and they’ve always failed!
       3. You’ll need the perfection of Jesus. You’ll only get that by faith.
       
       ]]>b25f7ce9-3303-4f95-b367-b0582465a713Fri, 05 Apr 2024 05:00:00 -060033:32falsebonusAn Easter Message for the Ages (Mark 16:1-8) - The PursueGOD Truth PodcastWe’ve been on a long journey through the gospel of Mark.  We started this in January of 2023.  Throughout Mark’s gospel, he has been building a case that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God.  He opened his gospel with this declaration and has spent the last 16 chapters stacking up the evidence. Today we're looking at this question: What would it take to convince you that Jesus is the Son of God?

       --

       The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

       Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

       Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

       Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

       Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

       Donate Now

       --

       We’ve seen testimonies:

       • Mark 1:11 And a voice from heaven said, “You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy.”
       • Mark 1:24 (NLT) “Why are you interfering with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!”
       • Mark 8:29 (NLT) Then he asked them, “But who do you say I am?” Peter replied, “You are the Messiah.”
       
       

       We’ve seen teachings: 

       • Mark 2:17 (NLT) “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”
       • Mark 7:15 (NLT) “It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart.”
       • Mark 10:15 (NLT) “I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”
       
       

       We’ve seen his miracles: 

       • Physical miracles
       • cleansing the leper
       • giving sight to the blind
       • Healing the lame
       • Resuscitating Lazarus
       • Nature miracles:
       • Feeding the multitudes… twice! 
       • Walking on water  
       • Calming the storm
       • Even a spiritual miracle:
       • casting out evil spirits 
       
       

       TRANS: But there’s one miracle that stands out above them all. It’s the final and most important piece of evidence to point us to the true identity of Jesus. Today we’re looking at the incredible resurrection of Jesus.

       The resurrection is the climax of Mark’s gospel. Without the resurrection, there is no good news. Jesus’s death would simply be the most tragic case of injustice in history, with not an ounce of goodness to it. It was the resurrection that changed the minds of his disciples. It was an encounter with the risen Christ that changed them from cowardly, sniveling men who deserted him and were always arguing about who would be the greatest… to brave, faith-filled men who unashamedly proclaimed Mark 1:1 – that Jesus is the Son of God. 

       NOTE: As we dig into Mark 16, we’re going to go through verse 8.  If you’re reading in your Bible, you’ll likely have a footnote that says the “earliest manuscripts stop at verse 8.”  I want to talk about that for just a moment. I want to share with you why this strengthens my confidence in the accuracy, historicity, and authority of God’s Word.  I’m going to give you some reasons why we’re choosing to stop at verse 8 today and why many Bibles still include verse 9-20. 

       • Earliest manuscripts we have don’t contain 9-20
       • Overwhelming majority of early manuscripts do contain it. 
       • Early church fathers quoted from verses after verse 8
       • Elements of verses 9-20 are found in other gospels and nothing in it contradicts scripture. 
       • (honesty/transparency) - we can trust the Bible
       
       

       Mark 16:1-4 Saturday evening, when the Sabbath ended, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome went out and purchased burial spices so they could anoint Jesus’ body. 2 Very early on Sunday morning, just at sunrise, they went to the tomb. 3 On the way they were asking each other, “Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?” 4 But as they arrived, they looked up and saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled aside.

       They purchased burial spices. They had no expectation of an empty tomb. They expected to find a dead body. This anointing was not an attempt to preserve the body. Jews didn’t practice embalming. It was an act of love and devotion. They bought the spices at the first opportunity and made their way to the tomb at the first safe opportunity (as soon as it was daylight).  They didn’t put off showing their devotion to Jesus.  The touching of a dead body would have made them ceremonially unclean, another sacrifice they were willing to make for Jesus.  What are we willing to sacrifice for him? 

       It’s powerful testimony that all of the gospels record women being the first to hear/see the good news of the resurrection.  If you were making the story up, you’d never have women be the first to confess the resurrection.  Their testimony wasn’t admissible in court. (honesty/transparency)

       • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) "This is the general rule: any evidence that a woman is not eligible to bring, [usurers, dice-players, pigeon-flyers, traffickers Sabbath year produce, and slaves] are not eligible to bring" (m. Ros HaSh. 1:8). Further: "Sooner let the words of the Law be burned than delivered to women" (b. Sot. 19a); "Happy is he whose children are male, but alas for him whose children are female" (b. Qid. 82b). Especially indicative is the morning prayer of Jewish men, who blessed God for not making them heathens, slaves, or women!
       • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) Some two centuries after the Gospels were written, the pagan Celsus could still needle Origen on "the gossip of women about the empty tomb" (Origen, Contra Celsum 2, 55).
       • 1 Corinthians 1:27-29 (NLT) Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.
       
       

       Who will roll the stone away? We know from Matthew’s gospel that there was an earthquake and the angel is the one who rolled the stone away and then sat on it. We also know from Matthew’s gospel that the Roman guards who had been assigned to guard the tomb shook with fear and passed out at the sight of the angel. 

       Mark 16:5-7 When they entered the tomb, they saw a young man clothed in a white robe sitting on the right side. The women were shocked, 6 but the angel said, “Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth,[b] who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Look, this is where they laid his body. 7 Now go and tell his disciples, including Peter, that Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there, just as he told you before he died.”

       He is risen. Resurrection vs. resuscitation.  Jesus is the first to be resurrected.  There were resuscitations in the Bible prior to Jesus - Elijah raised the son of the widow from Zarephath back from the dead, Elisha raised the Shunammite’s son, Jairus’ daughter, Lazareth - but all these would die again.  Jesus didn’t resuscitate, he resurrected.  He came back to life never to die again.  Jesus was the first to do this.  This had never before been seen in history.  

       Look The angel challenged the women to see for themselves that the body was not there - “Look, this is where they laid his body.”  God is always willing to prove himself to anyone who’s willing to seek. But he won’t force you to go looking. You’re listening today; are you willing to really look into Jesus? 

       Including Peter. The women are specifically told to communicate the news to Peter.  Had he withdrawn because of his shame at denying Jesus three times?  Had the other disciples ostracized him because he had failed in the moment after being so adamant that he would die with Jesus? He was supposed to be the rock, but had crumbled like a cookie. The last interaction Peter had with Jesus was looking into his eyes after he had denied him three times.  How miserable these past days have been.  He probably no longer considered himself a disciple because of his denial.  He was too ashamed to be counted among his followers.  This is why the personal invitation is so important. Jesus extends that same personal invitation to you today. 

       You will see him in Galilee. The women are commanded to go and tell the Good News that Jesus is risen. The women went to the tomb looking for closure; they got anything but closure! Now they would be on mission again with Jesus, meeting him in Galilee - the place where he first called his disciples. The place that represented...]]>We’ve been on a long journey through the gospel of Mark.  We started this in January of 2023.  Throughout Mark’s gospel, he has been building a case that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God.  He opened his gospel with this declaration and has spent the last 16 chapters stacking up the evidence. Today we're looking at this question: What would it take to convince you that Jesus is the Son of God?

       --

       The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

       Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

       Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

       Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

       Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

       Donate Now

       --

       We’ve seen testimonies:

       • Mark 1:11 And a voice from heaven said, “You are my dearly loved Son, and you bring me great joy.”
       • Mark 1:24 (NLT) “Why are you interfering with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!”
       • Mark 8:29 (NLT) Then he asked them, “But who do you say I am?” Peter replied, “You are the Messiah.”
       
       

       We’ve seen teachings: 

       • Mark 2:17 (NLT) “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”
       • Mark 7:15 (NLT) “It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart.”
       • Mark 10:15 (NLT) “I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”
       
       

       We’ve seen his miracles: 

       • Physical miracles
       • cleansing the leper
       • giving sight to the blind
       • Healing the lame
       • Resuscitating Lazarus
       • Nature miracles:
       • Feeding the multitudes… twice! 
       • Walking on water  
       • Calming the storm
       • Even a spiritual miracle:
       • casting out evil spirits 
       
       

       TRANS: But there’s one miracle that stands out above them all. It’s the final and most important piece of evidence to point us to the true identity of Jesus. Today we’re looking at the incredible resurrection of Jesus.

       The resurrection is the climax of Mark’s gospel. Without the resurrection, there is no good news. Jesus’s death would simply be the most tragic case of injustice in history, with not an ounce of goodness to it. It was the resurrection that changed the minds of his disciples. It was an encounter with the risen Christ that changed them from cowardly, sniveling men who deserted him and were always arguing about who would be the greatest… to brave, faith-filled men who unashamedly proclaimed Mark 1:1 – that Jesus is the Son of God. 

       NOTE: As we dig into Mark 16, we’re going to go through verse 8.  If you’re reading in your Bible, you’ll likely have a footnote that says the “earliest manuscripts stop at verse 8.”  I want to talk about that for just a moment. I want to share with you why this strengthens my confidence in the accuracy, historicity, and authority of God’s Word.  I’m going to give you some reasons why we’re choosing to stop at verse 8 today and why many Bibles still include verse 9-20. 

       • Earliest manuscripts we have don’t contain 9-20
       • Overwhelming majority of early manuscripts do contain it. 
       • Early church fathers quoted from verses after verse 8
       • Elements of verses 9-20 are found in other gospels and nothing in it contradicts scripture. 
       • (honesty/transparency) - we can trust the Bible
       
       

       Mark 16:1-4 Saturday evening, when the Sabbath ended, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome went out and purchased burial spices so they could anoint Jesus’ body. 2 Very early on Sunday morning, just at sunrise, they went to the tomb. 3 On the way they were asking each other, “Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?” 4 But as they arrived, they looked up and saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled aside.

       They purchased burial spices. They had no expectation of an empty tomb. They expected to find a dead body. This anointing was not an attempt to preserve the body. Jews didn’t practice embalming. It was an act of love and devotion. They bought the spices at the first opportunity and made their way to the tomb at the first safe opportunity (as soon as it was daylight).  They didn’t put off showing their devotion to Jesus.  The touching of a dead body would have made them ceremonially unclean, another sacrifice they were willing to make for Jesus.  What are we willing to sacrifice for him? 

       It’s powerful testimony that all of the gospels record women being the first to hear/see the good news of the resurrection.  If you were making the story up, you’d never have women be the first to confess the resurrection.  Their testimony wasn’t admissible in court. (honesty/transparency)

       • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) "This is the general rule: any evidence that a woman is not eligible to bring, [usurers, dice-players, pigeon-flyers, traffickers Sabbath year produce, and slaves] are not eligible to bring" (m. Ros HaSh. 1:8). Further: "Sooner let the words of the Law be burned than delivered to women" (b. Sot. 19a); "Happy is he whose children are male, but alas for him whose children are female" (b. Qid. 82b). Especially indicative is the morning prayer of Jewish men, who blessed God for not making them heathens, slaves, or women!
       • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) Some two centuries after the Gospels were written, the pagan Celsus could still needle Origen on "the gossip of women about the empty tomb" (Origen, Contra Celsum 2, 55).
       • 1 Corinthians 1:27-29 (NLT) Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God.
       
       

       Who will roll the stone away? We know from Matthew’s gospel that there was an earthquake and the angel is the one who rolled the stone away and then sat on it. We also know from Matthew’s gospel that the Roman guards who had been assigned to guard the tomb shook with fear and passed out at the sight of the angel. 

       Mark 16:5-7 When they entered the tomb, they saw a young man clothed in a white robe sitting on the right side. The women were shocked, 6 but the angel said, “Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth,[b] who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Look, this is where they laid his body. 7 Now go and tell his disciples, including Peter, that Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there, just as he told you before he died.”

       He is risen. Resurrection vs. resuscitation.  Jesus is the first to be resurrected.  There were resuscitations in the Bible prior to Jesus - Elijah raised the son of the widow from Zarephath back from the dead, Elisha raised the Shunammite’s son, Jairus’ daughter, Lazareth - but all these would die again.  Jesus didn’t resuscitate, he resurrected.  He came back to life never to die again.  Jesus was the first to do this.  This had never before been seen in history.  

       Look The angel challenged the women to see for themselves that the body was not there - “Look, this is where they laid his body.”  God is always willing to prove himself to anyone who’s willing to seek. But he won’t force you to go looking. You’re listening today; are you willing to really look into Jesus? 

       Including Peter. The women are specifically told to communicate the news to Peter.  Had he withdrawn because of his shame at denying Jesus three times?  Had the other disciples ostracized him because he had failed in the moment after being so adamant that he would die with Jesus? He was supposed to be the rock, but had crumbled like a cookie. The last interaction Peter had with Jesus was looking into his eyes after he had denied him three times.  How miserable these past days have been.  He probably no longer considered himself a disciple because of his denial.  He was too ashamed to be counted among his followers.  This is why the personal invitation is so important. Jesus extends that same personal invitation to you today. 

       You will see him in Galilee. The women are commanded to go and tell the Good News that Jesus is risen. The women went to the tomb looking for closure; they got anything but closure! Now they would be on mission again with Jesus, meeting him in Galilee - the place where he first called his disciples. The place that represented the whole world, not just the Jews!

       Mark 16:8 the women fled from the tomb, trembling and bewildered, and they said nothing to anyone because they were too frightened.

       What a way to end Mark’s gospel! Five admissions of the women’s weakness:

       • Fled
       • Trembling
       • Bewildered
       • Speechless
       • Frightened 
       
       

       Not surprising. After all, we’ve learned throughout this gospel two simple truths over and over: people are broken; Jesus can fix us.

       So the women fled, broken but convinced. How could they not be? They just heard that Jesus performed his ultimate miracle: he was raised from the dead. Their lives would never be the same.

       Back to the question for today: 

       Q: What would it take to convince you that Jesus is the Son of God? 

       Mark’s gospel lays out all the proof we need. The testimonies. The teachings. The miracles. And now this: the resurrection.

       What we think about Jesus and how we respond to that is the most important thing about us.  It is what determines where we spend eternity.

       ]]>68dfb59f-1a72-4ace-a7c3-816aefbe416eSun, 31 Mar 2024 05:00:00 -060034:33falsebonusHow Should You Pray in Your Hour of Need? (Mark 14:32-42) - The PursueGOD Truth PodcastToday we’re looking at the famous story of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. It’ll give us some insight into our question for the day: How should you pray in your hour of need?

       --

       The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

       Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

       Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

       Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

       Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

       Donate Now

       --

       Today we’re looking at the famous story of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. He’s moments away from his betrayal and death, and he knows it. His actions – and by contrast his disciples’ actions – give us some insight into our question for the day:

       Q. How should you pray in your hour of need?

       • Maybe this is exactly what some of you need to hear today. You’re in an hour of need…
       • With your emotions: fighting anxiety, depression
       • In your marriage
       • Looking for a spouse
       • With your finances
       
       

       Personal example:

       
       

       Let’s go to the text…

       
       

       Mark 14:32-34 (NLT) They went to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and Jesus said, “Sit here while I go and pray.” He took Peter, James, and John with him, and he became deeply troubled and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

       
       

       “Stay here and keep watch with me”

       • Jesus brought the three disciples with him for a reason: “Stay here and keep watch with me” in view of his distress and grief. He didn’t want them to pray WITH him (to have a prayer meeting): “Sit here while I go pray.” He wanted them to pray FOR him and be available to him (“keep watch with me”) while he was going through his anguished conversation with the Father.
       • Jesus just wanted a wing man. Can you relate? 
       • Personal story: 
       
       
       

       But here’s the most interesting part:

       
       

       “he became deeply troubled and distressed” and “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death”

       • “The two verbs translated ‘deeply distressed and troubled’ together ‘describe an extremely acute emotion, a compound of bewilderment, fear, uncertainty and anxiety, nowhere else portrayed in such vivid terms as here.’ (EBC)
       • Why so much angst? It goes against what we’ve come to expect from Jesus: measured, confident, at peace. 
       • Personal story: my angst re: panic attack, felt so weak. Jesus experienced this?
       
       
       

       Here’s what was happening: the picture of Jesus at Gethsemane shows us the human side of Christ. 

       • “Gethsemane reveals the humanity of Jesus with astonishing fidelity. He is shown to be ‘anything but above temptation. So far from sailing serenely through his trials like some superior being unconcerned with this world, he is almost dead with distress.’” (Expositor’s Bible Commentary)
       • Remember hypostatic union?
       • The Council of Chalcedon, held in 451 AD, affirmed the doctrine of the hypostatic union, declaring that Jesus Christ is "perfect in Godhead and also perfect in manhood; truly God and truly man, of a reasonable [rational] soul and body." This formulation reconciled the seemingly paradoxical aspects of Jesus being both fully divine and fully human.
       • The council also condemned several heresies, including Nestorianism, which emphasized the distinction between the divine and human natures of Christ to the point of suggesting they were two separate persons. The Chalcedonian Definition, the statement of faith produced by the council, rejected this view and affirmed the unity of Christ's person.
       • Hebrews 4:15-16 (NLT) 15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. 16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
       
       
       

       And here’s why it was crushing: not because Jesus was afraid to die, but because he would have to absorb the wrath of God for our sake. 

       • God wouldn’t cancel his wrath against humanity, he would spend it on Jesus.
       • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) Not his own mortality, but the specter of identifying with sinners so fully as to become the object of God's wrath against sin – it is this that overwhelms Jesus' soul "'to the point of death'" (v. 34).
       
       
       

       Let’s read on to hear his actual prayer:      

       
       

       Mark 14:35-36 (NLT) He went on a little farther and fell to the ground. He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by. “Abba, Father,” he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

       
       

       “If it were possible” – maybe there’s another way, an “out”, a pathway that avoids suffering

       • Have you ever prayed this way? Are you praying this way now?
       • With your anxiety, depression
       • In your marriage
       • Looking for a spouse
       • With your finances
       • Abraham and Isaac - he had the knife raised… and then God provided an “out”
       • Genesis 22:9-14 (NLT) When they arrived at the place where God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice. At that moment the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “Yes,” Abraham replied. “Here I am!” “Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the angel said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.” Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering in place of his son. Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means “the LORD will provide”). To this day, people still use that name as a proverb: “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.”
       • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) That is a prayer for God not to strike the shepherd (14:27). Is it possible for Jesus to fulfill God's will in all ways but this one, or in some other way? Perhaps like Isaac the sacrifice can be averted even though the arm of Abraham is raised for the dagger's plunge. The plea of Jesus suggests that he is genuinely tempted to forsake the role of the suffering servant.
       • So is that a promise? Will God provide for me? Will he answer my prayer?
       • Or consider a second example: 
       • The famine in Egypt - God used Joseph to deliver the Israelites to Goshen
       • Genesis 47:2-6 (NLT) Joseph took five of his brothers with him and presented them to Pharaoh. And Pharaoh asked the brothers, “What is your occupation?” They replied, “We, your servants, are shepherds, just like our ancestors. We have come to live here in Egypt for a while, for there is no pasture for our flocks in Canaan. The famine is very severe there. So please, we request permission to live in the region of Goshen.” Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Now that your father and brothers have joined you here, choose any place in the entire land of Egypt for them to live. Give them the best land of Egypt. Let them live in the region of Goshen. And if any of them have special skills, put them in charge of my livestock, too.”
       • Pharaoh granted their request, and they avoided suffering. 
       • Was there another way God could forgive the sins of human beings? Apparently not. A price had to be paid. God could not simply wipe the slate clean by an act of his choice, because that would violate his justice and holiness. 
       
       
       

       “Everything is possible for you…Please take this cup of suffering away from me.” 

       • With one exception: it is not possible for God to act in a way contrary to his nature. It is not possible for God to NOT be holy or just. Thus, in a real sense, it was not possible for God to take the cup of suffering from Jesus, if he was to accomplish redemption.
       • Sometimes our wants don’t line up with God’s will, and it’s not always a sin thing. 
       • Not always sin to want something else, but always a sin to consciously reject God’s will.
       • Jesus never sinned, yet he’s expressing a real desire here that doesn’t line up with the Father’s will. 
       
       
       

       In the most human moment in Jesus’ life – in the Garden of Gethsemane – he says the thing that’s hardest for a human to say: “not my will, but yours be done.” 

       • This is the essence of godly prayer. Express your heart to a personal God. Then submit to his will no matter what. 
       • That’s a dirty word these days: “submission”. 
       • “The cup is the same one Jesus referred to in 10:38-39 - the cup of the wrath of God. In the OT it is regularly used as a metaphor of punishment and judgment. Here it obviously refers to Jesus’ death. Jesus’ desire was for the removal of the cup. But he willingly placed his will in...]]>Today we’re looking at the famous story of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. It’ll give us some insight into our question for the day: How should you pray in your hour of need?

         --

         The PursueGOD Truth podcast is the “easy button” for making disciples – whether you’re looking for resources to lead a family devotional, a small group at church, or a one-on-one mentoring relationship. Join us for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Today we’re looking at the famous story of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. He’s moments away from his betrayal and death, and he knows it. His actions – and by contrast his disciples’ actions – give us some insight into our question for the day:

         Q. How should you pray in your hour of need?

         • Maybe this is exactly what some of you need to hear today. You’re in an hour of need…
         • With your emotions: fighting anxiety, depression
         • In your marriage
         • Looking for a spouse
         • With your finances
         
         

         Personal example:

         
         

         Let’s go to the text…

         
         

         Mark 14:32-34 (NLT) They went to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and Jesus said, “Sit here while I go and pray.” He took Peter, James, and John with him, and he became deeply troubled and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

         
         

         “Stay here and keep watch with me”

         • Jesus brought the three disciples with him for a reason: “Stay here and keep watch with me” in view of his distress and grief. He didn’t want them to pray WITH him (to have a prayer meeting): “Sit here while I go pray.” He wanted them to pray FOR him and be available to him (“keep watch with me”) while he was going through his anguished conversation with the Father.
         • Jesus just wanted a wing man. Can you relate? 
         • Personal story: 
         
         
         

         But here’s the most interesting part:

         
         

         “he became deeply troubled and distressed” and “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death”

         • “The two verbs translated ‘deeply distressed and troubled’ together ‘describe an extremely acute emotion, a compound of bewilderment, fear, uncertainty and anxiety, nowhere else portrayed in such vivid terms as here.’ (EBC)
         • Why so much angst? It goes against what we’ve come to expect from Jesus: measured, confident, at peace. 
         • Personal story: my angst re: panic attack, felt so weak. Jesus experienced this?
         
         
         

         Here’s what was happening: the picture of Jesus at Gethsemane shows us the human side of Christ. 

         • “Gethsemane reveals the humanity of Jesus with astonishing fidelity. He is shown to be ‘anything but above temptation. So far from sailing serenely through his trials like some superior being unconcerned with this world, he is almost dead with distress.’” (Expositor’s Bible Commentary)
         • Remember hypostatic union?
         • The Council of Chalcedon, held in 451 AD, affirmed the doctrine of the hypostatic union, declaring that Jesus Christ is "perfect in Godhead and also perfect in manhood; truly God and truly man, of a reasonable [rational] soul and body." This formulation reconciled the seemingly paradoxical aspects of Jesus being both fully divine and fully human.
         • The council also condemned several heresies, including Nestorianism, which emphasized the distinction between the divine and human natures of Christ to the point of suggesting they were two separate persons. The Chalcedonian Definition, the statement of faith produced by the council, rejected this view and affirmed the unity of Christ's person.
         • Hebrews 4:15-16 (NLT) 15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. 16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
         
         
         

         And here’s why it was crushing: not because Jesus was afraid to die, but because he would have to absorb the wrath of God for our sake. 

         • God wouldn’t cancel his wrath against humanity, he would spend it on Jesus.
         • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) Not his own mortality, but the specter of identifying with sinners so fully as to become the object of God's wrath against sin – it is this that overwhelms Jesus' soul "'to the point of death'" (v. 34).
         
         
         

         Let’s read on to hear his actual prayer:      

         
         

         Mark 14:35-36 (NLT) He went on a little farther and fell to the ground. He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by. “Abba, Father,” he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

         
         

         “If it were possible” – maybe there’s another way, an “out”, a pathway that avoids suffering

         • Have you ever prayed this way? Are you praying this way now?
         • With your anxiety, depression
         • In your marriage
         • Looking for a spouse
         • With your finances
         • Abraham and Isaac - he had the knife raised… and then God provided an “out”
         • Genesis 22:9-14 (NLT) When they arrived at the place where God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice. At that moment the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “Yes,” Abraham replied. “Here I am!” “Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the angel said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.” Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering in place of his son. Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means “the LORD will provide”). To this day, people still use that name as a proverb: “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.”
         • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) That is a prayer for God not to strike the shepherd (14:27). Is it possible for Jesus to fulfill God's will in all ways but this one, or in some other way? Perhaps like Isaac the sacrifice can be averted even though the arm of Abraham is raised for the dagger's plunge. The plea of Jesus suggests that he is genuinely tempted to forsake the role of the suffering servant.
         • So is that a promise? Will God provide for me? Will he answer my prayer?
         • Or consider a second example: 
         • The famine in Egypt - God used Joseph to deliver the Israelites to Goshen
         • Genesis 47:2-6 (NLT) Joseph took five of his brothers with him and presented them to Pharaoh. And Pharaoh asked the brothers, “What is your occupation?” They replied, “We, your servants, are shepherds, just like our ancestors. We have come to live here in Egypt for a while, for there is no pasture for our flocks in Canaan. The famine is very severe there. So please, we request permission to live in the region of Goshen.” Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Now that your father and brothers have joined you here, choose any place in the entire land of Egypt for them to live. Give them the best land of Egypt. Let them live in the region of Goshen. And if any of them have special skills, put them in charge of my livestock, too.”
         • Pharaoh granted their request, and they avoided suffering. 
         • Was there another way God could forgive the sins of human beings? Apparently not. A price had to be paid. God could not simply wipe the slate clean by an act of his choice, because that would violate his justice and holiness. 
         
         
         

         “Everything is possible for you…Please take this cup of suffering away from me.” 

         • With one exception: it is not possible for God to act in a way contrary to his nature. It is not possible for God to NOT be holy or just. Thus, in a real sense, it was not possible for God to take the cup of suffering from Jesus, if he was to accomplish redemption.
         • Sometimes our wants don’t line up with God’s will, and it’s not always a sin thing. 
         • Not always sin to want something else, but always a sin to consciously reject God’s will.
         • Jesus never sinned, yet he’s expressing a real desire here that doesn’t line up with the Father’s will. 
         
         
         

         In the most human moment in Jesus’ life – in the Garden of Gethsemane – he says the thing that’s hardest for a human to say: “not my will, but yours be done.” 

         • This is the essence of godly prayer. Express your heart to a personal God. Then submit to his will no matter what. 
         • That’s a dirty word these days: “submission”. 
         • “The cup is the same one Jesus referred to in 10:38-39 - the cup of the wrath of God. In the OT it is regularly used as a metaphor of punishment and judgment. Here it obviously refers to Jesus’ death. Jesus’ desire was for the removal of the cup. But he willingly placed his will in submission to his Father’s will.” (EBC)
         • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) Gethsemane… presents us with a uniquely human interplay between the heart of the Son and the will of the Father. Jesus' prayer is not the result of calm absorption into an all-encompassing divine presence, but an intense struggle with the frightful reality of God's will and what it means fully to submit to it.
         
         
         

         “Abba, Father” - look at the personal language. “Daddy”

         • Do you pray this way? Informal, pleading
         • Story: Kenzie’s first stitches, looking at me with pleading eyes: “Daddy, how could you let this happen?”
         • Romans 8:15 (NLT) So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”
         • We can be raw with God! Honest
         • Consider the Psalms…
         • But watch how Paul finishes the thought:
         • Romans 8:17 (NLT) And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
         • “Everything is possible” for God, but that doesn’t mean he’ll always lead us down a pathway that avoids suffering.
         
         
         

         But look at how hard that is for us: 

         
         

         Mark 14:37-38 (NLT) Then he returned and found the disciples asleep. He said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”

         
         

         Observations: This all occurs at a very late hour. Sleep is understandable given the hour, the stress of the day, etc. Yet they had an assignment, which they could have fulfilled.

         • “The verbs ‘watch’ and ‘pray’ are both imperatives…. The conquest of temptation can only come through these two actions. The spirit (a reference to the human spirit) might be willing to do what is right, but the human body is weak.” (EBC)
         
         
         

         Mark 14:39-40 (NLT) Then Jesus left them again and prayed the same prayer as before. When he returned to them again, he found them sleeping, for they couldn’t keep their eyes open. And they didn’t know what to say.

         
         

         Interesting: the same prayer as before. Let’s spell it out: ““Everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

         
         

         Mark 14:41-42 (NLT) When he returned to them the third time, he said, “Go ahead and sleep. Have your rest. But no—the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Up, let’s be going. Look, my betrayer is here!”

         
         

         NIV: “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come.”

         • The words “Go ahead and sleep. Have your rest.” are either ironic (Sleep then, if that’s what is so important to you) or a question (Are you still sleeping and resting?). The latter seems better in view of the situation. (EBC)
         • (Pillar New Testament Commentary) The third time Jesus finds the disciples sleeping he retorts, "'Enough!'" (v. 41). This translation is simply a guess at the meaning of the original apechei, which seems to be an utterance of exasperation, perhaps "'What's the use?'"
         
         
         

         Look at the incredible contrast: Jesus is in anguish; his disciples are snoring! And then the climax: “The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.”

         
         

         “Up, let’s be going”

         • This is the resolve that flows out of godly prayer - let’s do this. God, I’m submitted to you no matter what happens. Your will, not mine. 
         • “‘Let’s be going’ cannot be intended to suggest flight, for the Lord had always reserved himself for this ‘hour’ and had now finally embraced the Divine Will concerning it. Jesus did not go to flee from Judas but to meet him.” (EBC)
         
         
         

         Close:

         Q. How should you pray in your hour of need?

         • Be honest, vulnerable - share you heart w a personal God
         • Be willing to submit to his will, even if it means suffering
         • Then move forward, trusting his will to be done.
         
         ]]>d76bd16b-066c-4e13-8997-d21f2d470cb3Fri, 01 Mar 2024 05:00:00 -060031:48falsebonusNew Marriage, Same Couple: Part 4Today we’re joined again by Josh and Katie Walters, authors of the new book New Marriage, Same Couple. In today’s episode we talk through chapters 11-13 in the book as we wrap up our series and cover the “Y” in the STAY acronym: yield to vision.

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         ]]>Today we’re joined again by Josh and Katie Walters, authors of the new book New Marriage, Same Couple. In today’s episode we talk through chapters 11-13 in the book as we wrap up our series and cover the “Y” in the STAY acronym: yield to vision.

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         ]]>1f010063-7e38-4662-b9a2-d63a46144309Wed, 24 Jan 2024 05:00:00 -060040:03falsefullNew Marriage, Same Couple: Part 3Today we’re joined again by Josh and Katie Walters, authors of the new book New Marriage, Same Couple. In today’s episode we talk through chapters 8, 9, and 10 in the book as we cover the “A” in the STAY acronym: allow others to be a part of your story. 

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Today we’re joined again by Josh and Katie Walters, authors of the new book New Marriage, Same Couple. In today’s episode we talk through chapters 8, 9, and 10 in the book as we cover the “A” in the STAY acronym: allow others to be a part of your story. 

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>65effc65-a489-40e1-8230-bb7c9d8d2df9Wed, 17 Jan 2024 05:00:00 -060040:21falsefullNew Marriage, Same Couple: Part 2Today we’re joined again by Josh and Katie Walters, authors of the new book New Marriage, Same Couple. In today’s episode we talk through chapters 5-7 in the book as we cover the “T” in the STAY acronym: take quitting off the table.

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Today we’re joined again by Josh and Katie Walters, authors of the new book New Marriage, Same Couple. In today’s episode we talk through chapters 5-7 in the book as we cover the “T” in the STAY acronym: take quitting off the table.

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>d590b99c-f906-4f43-8f45-763f18d43943Wed, 10 Jan 2024 05:00:00 -060042:10falsefullNew Marriage, Same Couple: Part 1Today we're talking with Josh and Katie Walters about their recently released book, "New Marriage, Same Couple". In this episode, we explore aspects of forgiveness, the power of worship, blame shifting, and more!

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Summary

         In this conversation, Josh and Katie Walters share their personal story of overcoming infidelity and rebuilding their marriage. They discuss the importance of starting with oneself and taking responsibility for one's actions and emotions. They emphasize the role of forgiveness in the healing process and the transformative power of worship. The conversation provides practical tips for finding worship music that can help in the journey of rebuilding a marriage. In this conversation, Katie and Josh Walters discuss their journey of rebuilding their marriage after infidelity. They emphasize the importance of choosing a posture of love and humility, feeding their souls with things that honor God, and seeing their situation with different eyes. They also share their experience with confession therapy, where they brought their hidden thoughts, desires, and emotions to the light, leading to intimacy and healing. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the importance of using resources like workbooks and processing with others, as well as the significance of taking quitting off the table in a marriage.

         Takeaways

         Choose a posture of love and humility in your marriage, focusing on the good in your spouse rather than dwelling on their faults.

         Practice confession therapy by bringing your hidden thoughts, desires, and emotions to the light, fostering intimacy and healing in your relationship.

         Utilize resources like workbooks and process the content with your spouse or a trusted couple to personalize and deepen your understanding.

         Commit to taking quitting off the table in your marriage, vowing to work through challenges and believing that your best days are ahead.

         
         

         Chapters

         00:00 Introduction to the book and the couple's story

         03:00 The devastating season and the confession

         06:27 The hope for struggling couples

         08:09 The four principles of rebuilding a marriage

         09:29 Principle 1: Start with me

         17:39 The importance of forgiveness

         23:18 The role of worship in transformation

         34:07 Practical tips for finding worship music

         43:04 Choosing a Posture of Love and Humility

         45:20 Confession Therapy: Starting with Me

         51:43 Using the Workbook and Processing with Others

         52:22 Taking Quitting Off the Table

         
         ]]>Today we're talking with Josh and Katie Walters about their recently released book, "New Marriage, Same Couple". In this episode, we explore aspects of forgiveness, the power of worship, blame shifting, and more!

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Summary

         In this conversation, Josh and Katie Walters share their personal story of overcoming infidelity and rebuilding their marriage. They discuss the importance of starting with oneself and taking responsibility for one's actions and emotions. They emphasize the role of forgiveness in the healing process and the transformative power of worship. The conversation provides practical tips for finding worship music that can help in the journey of rebuilding a marriage. In this conversation, Katie and Josh Walters discuss their journey of rebuilding their marriage after infidelity. They emphasize the importance of choosing a posture of love and humility, feeding their souls with things that honor God, and seeing their situation with different eyes. They also share their experience with confession therapy, where they brought their hidden thoughts, desires, and emotions to the light, leading to intimacy and healing. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the importance of using resources like workbooks and processing with others, as well as the significance of taking quitting off the table in a marriage.

         Takeaways

         Choose a posture of love and humility in your marriage, focusing on the good in your spouse rather than dwelling on their faults.

         Practice confession therapy by bringing your hidden thoughts, desires, and emotions to the light, fostering intimacy and healing in your relationship.

         Utilize resources like workbooks and process the content with your spouse or a trusted couple to personalize and deepen your understanding.

         Commit to taking quitting off the table in your marriage, vowing to work through challenges and believing that your best days are ahead.

         
         

         Chapters

         00:00 Introduction to the book and the couple's story

         03:00 The devastating season and the confession

         06:27 The hope for struggling couples

         08:09 The four principles of rebuilding a marriage

         09:29 Principle 1: Start with me

         17:39 The importance of forgiveness

         23:18 The role of worship in transformation

         34:07 Practical tips for finding worship music

         43:04 Choosing a Posture of Love and Humility

         45:20 Confession Therapy: Starting with Me

         51:43 Using the Workbook and Processing with Others

         52:22 Taking Quitting Off the Table

         
         ]]>df037374-1ebe-48c9-bded-b620b808c8ceWed, 03 Jan 2024 05:00:00 -060053:23falsefullBook Promo: “New Marriage, Same Couple”Today we’re joined by Josh and Katie Walters, authors of the new book New Marriage, Same Couple. In today’s episode we get a sneak peek into the book and their amazing story that led to its writing. "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health." We say those words and mean them. Until we don't. This is a book about creating a different, better, new kind of marriage with the exact same person—no matter how dire the circumstances—with vision, commitment, and hope in the Lord.

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Today we’re joined by Josh and Katie Walters, authors of the new book New Marriage, Same Couple. In today’s episode we get a sneak peek into the book and their amazing story that led to its writing. "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health." We say those words and mean them. Until we don't. This is a book about creating a different, better, new kind of marriage with the exact same person—no matter how dire the circumstances—with vision, commitment, and hope in the Lord.

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>ed7e4711-ff07-4b66-be1b-1ed05cec720eWed, 20 Dec 2023 05:00:00 -060045:30falsefullHere’s How to Love a Teen (Parenting Advice)Parents are called to create an environment of love for their kids – even when they’re teens! But how the heck do you pull it off? In this episode we share 8 helpful tips.

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Parents are called to create an environment of love for their kids – even when they’re teens! But how the heck do you pull it off? Here are 8 tips:

         1. Communicate openly: Encourage your teenagers to express their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively, without judgment, and create a safe and non-critical space for them to share. 

         2. Be empathetic: Try to understand their perspective, even if you don't agree with it. Empathizing with their emotions and experiences helps build trust and a strong emotional connection.

         3. Respect their autonomy: Adolescents are seeking independence and control over their lives. Give them opportunities to make decisions, and let them learn from their choices, even if it means making mistakes. Related: The Fundamental Law of Parenting

         4. Set clear boundaries: While respecting their autonomy, establish clear rules and expectations. Boundaries provide a sense of security and structure, helping teenagers understand limits and consequences. Related: Boundaries (Series)

         5. Be a role model: Adolescents often learn by observing their parents or caregivers. Be the kind of person you want your teenagers to become, demonstrating values like kindness, responsibility, and respect.

         6. Encourage their interests: Support your teens in pursuing their hobbies and passions. Show interest in their activities and provide resources or opportunities to help them develop their skills and talents.

         7. Offer guidance, not lectures: Instead of lecturing or giving constant advice, ask open-ended questions to help them think critically about their choices. Encourage them to problem-solve and make informed decisions.

         8. Show unconditional love: Let your teenagers know that you love them even when you disagree with their choices. When discipline is required, do it in love. Related: Discipline with Love

         Remember that each teenager is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Flexibility and adaptability in your approach are key. Keep Proverbs 22:6 in mind when it comes to Christian parenting: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Most importantly, point them to Jesus. 

         Discussion:

         1. What's the most challenging thing about raising teenagers? Give an example.

         2. Do you have any "house rules" that you think work well in keeping the peace and ensuring your teenagers stay on track?

         3. Teenagers often make choices that make us scratch our heads. How do you deal with situations where you disagree with your teen's choices?

         4. How do you navigate the whole tech and social media scene with your teenagers? What grade would you give yourself on it?

         5. What's your go-to activity for bonding with your teenagers? What do you like to do to hang out and connect with them?

         6. Read Proverbs 22:6. How does this make Christian parenting different from secular parenting?

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Parents are called to create an environment of love for their kids – even when they’re teens! But how the heck do you pull it off? In this episode we share 8 helpful tips.

         --

         The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.

         Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         Donate Now

         --

         Parents are called to create an environment of love for their kids – even when they’re teens! But how the heck do you pull it off? Here are 8 tips:

         1. Communicate openly: Encourage your teenagers to express their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively, without judgment, and create a safe and non-critical space for them to share. 

         2. Be empathetic: Try to understand their perspective, even if you don't agree with it. Empathizing with their emotions and experiences helps build trust and a strong emotional connection.

         3. Respect their autonomy: Adolescents are seeking independence and control over their lives. Give them opportunities to make decisions, and let them learn from their choices, even if it means making mistakes. Related: The Fundamental Law of Parenting

         4. Set clear boundaries: While respecting their autonomy, establish clear rules and expectations. Boundaries provide a sense of security and structure, helping teenagers understand limits and consequences. Related: Boundaries (Series)

         5. Be a role model: Adolescents often learn by observing their parents or caregivers. Be the kind of person you want your teenagers to become, demonstrating values like kindness, responsibility, and respect.

         6. Encourage their interests: Support your teens in pursuing their hobbies and passions. Show interest in their activities and provide resources or opportunities to help them develop their skills and talents.

         7. Offer guidance, not lectures: Instead of lecturing or giving constant advice, ask open-ended questions to help them think critically about their choices. Encourage them to problem-solve and make informed decisions.

         8. Show unconditional love: Let your teenagers know that you love them even when you disagree with their choices. When discipline is required, do it in love. Related: Discipline with Love

         Remember that each teenager is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Flexibility and adaptability in your approach are key. Keep Proverbs 22:6 in mind when it comes to Christian parenting: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Most importantly, point them to Jesus. 

         Discussion:

         1. What's the most challenging thing about raising teenagers? Give an example.

         2. Do you have any "house rules" that you think work well in keeping the peace and ensuring your teenagers stay on track?

         3. Teenagers often make choices that make us scratch our heads. How do you deal with situations where you disagree with your teen's choices?

         4. How do you navigate the whole tech and social media scene with your teenagers? What grade would you give yourself on it?

         5. What's your go-to activity for bonding with your teenagers? What do you like to do to hang out and connect with them?

         6. Read Proverbs 22:6. How does this make Christian parenting different from secular parenting?

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>ef065328-08be-4e0f-95b8-4b065e994bcbWed, 08 Nov 2023 05:00:00 -060038:59falsefullParenting Teens with Their Brains in MindYour teenager doesn't have a normal brain... not yet, at least! And that will affect how you parent them. In today's episode we give four more tips to help parents survive the teenage years.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Your teenager doesn't have a normal brain... not yet, at least! And that will affect how you parent them. In today's episode we give four more tips to help parents survive the teenage years.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>af3d7ea6-c4c1-40b0-8557-925076f04f92Wed, 11 Oct 2023 05:00:00 -060030:09falsefullTwo Fundamental Principles for Parenting TeensBeing a parent of teens is so challenging. It can feel like a constant game of chess. Teenagers have stronger opinions and peers who influence them so it can get complicated quickly. But parents, we have to be brave. Our teens may think they’re smarter and wiser than we are, but they are still kids. We still have to parent our teens and teach them what’s right and wrong. They may not like us for it all the time but that can’t dissuade us from finishing the job.

         One of the most common mistakes parents of teens make is trying to be more of  a friend than a disciplinarian. There is a place for a friendship to grow but that’s not our primary role quite yet. This idea is really rooted more in fear than anything else. Many parents are “afraid” to lose their teens so they give in to make them happy. Others compensate for their own childhood woes with controlling parents and think the opposite is the answer. Either way, we still have to lead our kids whether they like it or not. Parents that end up surviving the teen years do it from a place of confidence. You know where you’re leading your teen toward so take charge and blaze the path.

         There are a few principles that can help you to do just that. It’s what we’ll focus on today and it’s what the PG resources help you to do.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Being a parent of teens is so challenging. It can feel like a constant game of chess. Teenagers have stronger opinions and peers who influence them so it can get complicated quickly. But parents, we have to be brave. Our teens may think they’re smarter and wiser than we are, but they are still kids. We still have to parent our teens and teach them what’s right and wrong. They may not like us for it all the time but that can’t dissuade us from finishing the job.

         One of the most common mistakes parents of teens make is trying to be more of  a friend than a disciplinarian. There is a place for a friendship to grow but that’s not our primary role quite yet. This idea is really rooted more in fear than anything else. Many parents are “afraid” to lose their teens so they give in to make them happy. Others compensate for their own childhood woes with controlling parents and think the opposite is the answer. Either way, we still have to lead our kids whether they like it or not. Parents that end up surviving the teen years do it from a place of confidence. You know where you’re leading your teen toward so take charge and blaze the path.

         There are a few principles that can help you to do just that. It’s what we’ll focus on today and it’s what the PG resources help you to do.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>9d6104dd-8b5d-466b-9354-e8ba940bcf9cWed, 27 Sep 2023 05:00:00 -060028:00falsefullFour Signs Your Marriage Is In TroubleJohn Gottman is a renowned relationship expert who has studied many couples in his love lab. He boasts of his ability to predict with 91% accuracy those who stay married and those that end in divorce by observing how couples communicate and interact with one another.

         A couple’s ability to communicate is obviously foundational to a healthy  marriage. Gottman would say there are 4 communication styles that often lead to the end of marriage because of the damage it inflicts on couples.

         ]]>John Gottman is a renowned relationship expert who has studied many couples in his love lab. He boasts of his ability to predict with 91% accuracy those who stay married and those that end in divorce by observing how couples communicate and interact with one another.

         A couple’s ability to communicate is obviously foundational to a healthy  marriage. Gottman would say there are 4 communication styles that often lead to the end of marriage because of the damage it inflicts on couples.

         ]]>b3e3c2d4-5417-4336-92cf-dc3a7155c8e1Wed, 13 Sep 2023 05:00:00 -060039:14falsefullThe Failing Power Tools of ParentingToday's topic is for parents of kids of teens out there who are frustrated. They feel like they're not sure if they're doing a great job. There's a lot of conflict with their teens or even with their kids. We're going to talk today about the failing power tools of parenting. This comes from Paul David Tripp's book called Parenting, 14 Gospel Principles that can radically change your family.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Today's topic is for parents of kids of teens out there who are frustrated. They feel like they're not sure if they're doing a great job. There's a lot of conflict with their teens or even with their kids. We're going to talk today about the failing power tools of parenting. This comes from Paul David Tripp's book called Parenting, 14 Gospel Principles that can radically change your family.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>6e61798b-cf09-44f8-b3f1-7b2c873d293cWed, 06 Sep 2023 05:00:00 -060038:48falsefull5 Things You Must Do if Your Spouse Had an AffairLast week we talked about how reconciliation is possible if both spouses are willing to work hard and fight for a healthy marriage. We also said that both spouses have different roles to play. 

         Today we’re addressing the spouse who has discovered their spouse has cheated. Even though you may feel hopeless right now, there is a way forward. You can have a future where you trust your spouse again. Today we will talk about some key steps you need to take to be open to that hopeful future.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Last week we talked about how reconciliation is possible if both spouses are willing to work hard and fight for a healthy marriage. We also said that both spouses have different roles to play. 

         Today we’re addressing the spouse who has discovered their spouse has cheated. Even though you may feel hopeless right now, there is a way forward. You can have a future where you trust your spouse again. Today we will talk about some key steps you need to take to be open to that hopeful future.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>d9d4b425-c727-4ec4-8bc4-21c4b6cc8bc9Wed, 23 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -060046:12falsefull5 Things You Must Do if You've Had an AffairIf you've had an affair, it's not too late to change course and save your marriage. Incorporate these five steps to help you think clearly about the direction you should go.
         • Marriage Basics (series)
         • 10 Sinful Responses to Sin
         
         

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>If you've had an affair, it's not too late to change course and save your marriage. Incorporate these five steps to help you think clearly about the direction you should go.
         • Marriage Basics (series)
         • 10 Sinful Responses to Sin
         
         

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>7adfd7fb-db3d-437f-b79a-b69f4a4eb5f2Wed, 16 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -060035:31falsefullIs There Hope After an Affair?If you found out that your spouse is having an affair, it may feel like all hope is lost but that doesn’t have to be true. Your marriage can be saved, and even strengthened, if you’re both willing to work hard and forgive.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>If you found out that your spouse is having an affair, it may feel like all hope is lost but that doesn’t have to be true. Your marriage can be saved, and even strengthened, if you’re both willing to work hard and forgive.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>c7c9f914-76ee-46b9-b5a0-d0913fc27e7fWed, 09 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -060039:02falsefullFour Boundary Dynamics in FriendshipsWe all have that friend who wants to dominate our time or the friend who never initiates plans. It’s frustrating if you don’t have the right expectations and boundaries in place. Today we’re going to describe 4 common dynamics that happen in friendships and how a lack of proper boundaries can lead to hurt and frustration.

         Compliant - compliant “Whatever you want”

         We’ve discussed the compliant personality in other episodes. Two compliant friends likely leads to inauthentic friendship. Here’s why. Neither person is honest about their true feelings for fear of hurting the other person. So both say “yes” to plans they don’t want to do. Both end up feeling resentful of the other because they’re doing things they don’t want to do.

         How do you draw a boundary in this dynamic? Speak up. Be honest when you said yes but meant no. Invite your friend to be honest, too. Make a commitment to not commit to a request for 24 hrs and make sure you really want to do something. If you decide you don’t, say no.

         Compliant - Controlling (Aggressive) “My way or the highway”

         This dynamic is the most obvious. You have the compliant just trying to keep the peace and the aggressive dominating and controlling. Even though the compliant is allowing the dynamic, they internally resent it. 

         
         

         How do you draw a boundary? Compliant likely needs to be the one to say “enough”. The aggressive is probably clueless because they’ve grown accustomed to getting their way in every relationship. Be clear about how you feel and why it frustrates and say you won’t give into aggressives every wish moving forward. It’s a new negotiation for a different kind of friendship. The compliant needs to take responsibility for their resentment and draw the boundary. The aggressive needs to respect the boundary. 

         
         

         Compliant - Controlling (Manipulative) “Help! I need you”

         The manipulative controller is less obvious than the aggressive but the result is the same-it’s always their way. In this dynamic, the compliant is always rescuing or on call for the manipulative friend. The manipulator doesn’t plan ahead so they often find themselves in a bind due to their lack of planning. The compliant grows tired of being used so they create distance. 

         
         

         How do you draw the boundary? Compliant needs to address it. Clearly stating how they feel used by the manipulator and that they aren’t going to be the rescuer every time. Express a desire for a give and take relationship where both serve and help the other. 

         
         

         Compliant - non-responsive “I always initiate”

         Compliant feels like they do all the work in the friendship. They reach out to make plans or to check in. The non-responsive never does that. Compliant feels unimportant. Non-responsive may feel overwhelmed by the compliants need for attention.

         
         

         How do you draw a boundary? Both speak up. Compliant can be honest that they feel undervalued when the other never reaches out or initiates. Non-responsive may need to be honest about their ability to be the kind of friend the other needs. If expectations can’t match, stop forcing the friendship and maybe move on.

         
         

         
         

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>We all have that friend who wants to dominate our time or the friend who never initiates plans. It’s frustrating if you don’t have the right expectations and boundaries in place. Today we’re going to describe 4 common dynamics that happen in friendships and how a lack of proper boundaries can lead to hurt and frustration.

         Compliant - compliant “Whatever you want”

         We’ve discussed the compliant personality in other episodes. Two compliant friends likely leads to inauthentic friendship. Here’s why. Neither person is honest about their true feelings for fear of hurting the other person. So both say “yes” to plans they don’t want to do. Both end up feeling resentful of the other because they’re doing things they don’t want to do.

         How do you draw a boundary in this dynamic? Speak up. Be honest when you said yes but meant no. Invite your friend to be honest, too. Make a commitment to not commit to a request for 24 hrs and make sure you really want to do something. If you decide you don’t, say no.

         Compliant - Controlling (Aggressive) “My way or the highway”

         This dynamic is the most obvious. You have the compliant just trying to keep the peace and the aggressive dominating and controlling. Even though the compliant is allowing the dynamic, they internally resent it. 

         
         

         How do you draw a boundary? Compliant likely needs to be the one to say “enough”. The aggressive is probably clueless because they’ve grown accustomed to getting their way in every relationship. Be clear about how you feel and why it frustrates and say you won’t give into aggressives every wish moving forward. It’s a new negotiation for a different kind of friendship. The compliant needs to take responsibility for their resentment and draw the boundary. The aggressive needs to respect the boundary. 

         
         

         Compliant - Controlling (Manipulative) “Help! I need you”

         The manipulative controller is less obvious than the aggressive but the result is the same-it’s always their way. In this dynamic, the compliant is always rescuing or on call for the manipulative friend. The manipulator doesn’t plan ahead so they often find themselves in a bind due to their lack of planning. The compliant grows tired of being used so they create distance. 

         
         

         How do you draw the boundary? Compliant needs to address it. Clearly stating how they feel used by the manipulator and that they aren’t going to be the rescuer every time. Express a desire for a give and take relationship where both serve and help the other. 

         
         

         Compliant - non-responsive “I always initiate”

         Compliant feels like they do all the work in the friendship. They reach out to make plans or to check in. The non-responsive never does that. Compliant feels unimportant. Non-responsive may feel overwhelmed by the compliants need for attention.

         
         

         How do you draw a boundary? Both speak up. Compliant can be honest that they feel undervalued when the other never reaches out or initiates. Non-responsive may need to be honest about their ability to be the kind of friend the other needs. If expectations can’t match, stop forcing the friendship and maybe move on.

         
         

         
         

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>df0146f1-d4c2-4013-bee2-04db5d515d43Wed, 02 Aug 2023 07:00:00 -060049:01falsefullA Biblical Discussion on Gender - The Men's PodcastWe’re tackling a subject today that our granddads never really dealt with, our dads most likely didn’t deal with it, but it seems to be in our face and in the faces of our children on a daily basis - and that is the issue of gender. Are there two genders? Is gender just a social construct? Can I change my gender if I feel like I’m not really the gender that I was born as? These are questions that no one was even asking just a few decades ago.

         The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

         Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         We look to God and his Word in all that we do. So what does God’s Word have to say about gender? 2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. - His Word is useful. It corrects us when we’re wrong, and there are a lot of people who are wrong on this issue of gender.

         In the beginning, God created them male and female. This was before the fall and God said it was very good. The differences between male and female should be celebrated, not diminished.

         Genesis 1:27-28 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

         God’s design, his perfect design, was two genders; male and female. This was his original, perfect plan. Both are created in the image of God. Both have immeasurable worth and value. They are of equal worth and dignity, but they are not the same. They complement one another. Eve is described as Adam’s help mate. The differences between male and female are good. They are for our benefit. They should be celebrated, not diminished.

         God’s command to be fruitful and multiply could only be carried out because of the two distinct genders and their roles in procreation.

         Genesis 1:31 Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!

         When God looked over the creation earlier in the creation story, it was good at the end of each day. It wasn’t until God created humankind that it was very good! The differences between male and female are part of what made it very good!

         I’m so thankful women aren’t exactly like men. I can guarantee you my kids are thankful. Their mom brings strengths to our family as a result of her femininity that I don’t have. And my wife is kind of a tomboy. That’s probably a politically incorrect term nowadays. She rides motorcycles. She’d rather wear pants than a dress. She likes shooting guns. But she still brings a nurturing, a compassion, and an empathy that I lack. I know some of that is more personality related than gender, but not all of it. Studies show that, on average, women are more nurturing than men. Women are more compassionate than men. They typically have more empathy.

         Genesis 6:17-21 Look! I am about to cover the earth with a flood that will destroy every living thing that breathes. Everything on earth will die. 18 But I will confirm my covenant with you. So enter the boat—you and your wife and your sons and their wives. 19 Bring a pair of every kind of animal—a male and a female—into the boat with you to keep them alive during the flood. 20 Pairs of every kind of bird, and every kind of animal, and every kind of small animal that scurries along the ground, will come to you to be kept alive.

         The flood was sort of the great reset and once again, we see the importance of male and female - Noah and his sons and their wives, male and female from each kind of animal.

         The reality is if you put 50 biological men or 50 biological women on an island, regardless of what they identify as, that whole population will die out in one generation. There is no way to create offspring without the two, distinct genders being present.

         Our gender is determined at conception. God has a plan and purpose for our life before we take our first breath. When we trust our feelings over what God has declared to be true, we are essentially declaring that we know better than the perfect, holy God who created us.

         Psalm 139:13-16 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.15You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

         This is one of the most powerful passages in scripture to me. God has made me wonderfully complex. His workmanship is marvelous. If you’re struggling with gender identity, you need to know that God has created you wonderfully complex. He saw you before you were born. He has a purpose and a plan for your life.

         Any attempt to alter how God created you is rebelling against his plan and usurping his authority. It is saying, “I know better than God does. He got it wrong!” That has to be one of the most arrogant, prideful stances we can take. Think of what that would look like if we did that in other areas of our life. God, I know you said don’t steal, but I’m pretty sure I feel like I deserve this thing and I can’t afford to buy it. God I know you said marriage was a lifelong commitment, but I don’t feel like my spouse loves me and I know you want me to be happy so I’m going to bail on my marriage.

         Jeremiah 17:9 The human heart is the most deceitful of all things and desperately wicked, who really knows how bad it is?

         We live in a culture that says, “Follow your heart. Do what makes you happy.” The Bible says our heart is the last thing we should be following. It is desperately wicked. It leads us astray all of the time. Your heart says you don’t feel warm and fuzzy for your spouse any more so it’s time to move on. Your heart wants to sleep with your boyfriend or girlfriend before you’re married. Your heart wants instant gratification. We have to trust in the truth of God’s Word over our own thoughts, feelings, and opinions - very definition of sin.

         God not only has plans and purposes for us individually, he has distinctive roles for men and women in the church and in the home. We see different roles listed in both the OT and NT. Priests were men only. If a person would have identified as a male, would they have been qualified to be a priest? In the NT, there are different instructions to men and women.

         
         

         Deuteronomy 22:5 A woman must not put on men’s clothing, and a man must not wear women’s clothing. Anyone who does this is detestable in the sight of the LORD your God.

         
         

         This prohibition of altering gender is not limited to surgery or hormone blockers. Men are not to dress as women, women are not to dress as men. That doesn’t mean women can’t wear pants - It’s common in our culture for women to wear pants. Pants aren’t considered “men’s clothing” in our culture. Wouldn’t forbid a man to wear a kilt in a culture where men commonly wear kilts. It’s not women’s clothing in that culture.

         
         

         Romans 1:24 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. 29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. 31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy.

         
         
         

         Love rejoices in the truth. Truth matters, and this is a topic that calls us to speak truth. We need to speak it gracefully and with compassion, but we also need to speak it unashamedly. God calls us to protect the weak and vulnerable.

         
         

         1 Corinthians 13:6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

         This comes from the famous “love” passage you’ve probably heard recited at a wedding ceremony. The “it” in verse 6 is love. Love rejoices in the truth. When we truly love someone, we want them to know...]]>We’re tackling a subject today that our granddads never really dealt with, our dads most likely didn’t deal with it, but it seems to be in our face and in the faces of our children on a daily basis - and that is the issue of gender. Are there two genders? Is gender just a social construct? Can I change my gender if I feel like I’m not really the gender that I was born as? These are questions that no one was even asking just a few decades ago.

         The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

         Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/men.

         Learn more about "full circle" Christianity through our 12-week Pursuit series.

         Click here to learn more about how to use these resources with men and boys at church.

         Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

         We look to God and his Word in all that we do. So what does God’s Word have to say about gender? 2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. - His Word is useful. It corrects us when we’re wrong, and there are a lot of people who are wrong on this issue of gender.

         In the beginning, God created them male and female. This was before the fall and God said it was very good. The differences between male and female should be celebrated, not diminished.

         Genesis 1:27-28 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

         God’s design, his perfect design, was two genders; male and female. This was his original, perfect plan. Both are created in the image of God. Both have immeasurable worth and value. They are of equal worth and dignity, but they are not the same. They complement one another. Eve is described as Adam’s help mate. The differences between male and female are good. They are for our benefit. They should be celebrated, not diminished.

         God’s command to be fruitful and multiply could only be carried out because of the two distinct genders and their roles in procreation.

         Genesis 1:31 Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!

         When God looked over the creation earlier in the creation story, it was good at the end of each day. It wasn’t until God created humankind that it was very good! The differences between male and female are part of what made it very good!

         I’m so thankful women aren’t exactly like men. I can guarantee you my kids are thankful. Their mom brings strengths to our family as a result of her femininity that I don’t have. And my wife is kind of a tomboy. That’s probably a politically incorrect term nowadays. She rides motorcycles. She’d rather wear pants than a dress. She likes shooting guns. But she still brings a nurturing, a compassion, and an empathy that I lack. I know some of that is more personality related than gender, but not all of it. Studies show that, on average, women are more nurturing than men. Women are more compassionate than men. They typically have more empathy.

         Genesis 6:17-21 Look! I am about to cover the earth with a flood that will destroy every living thing that breathes. Everything on earth will die. 18 But I will confirm my covenant with you. So enter the boat—you and your wife and your sons and their wives. 19 Bring a pair of every kind of animal—a male and a female—into the boat with you to keep them alive during the flood. 20 Pairs of every kind of bird, and every kind of animal, and every kind of small animal that scurries along the ground, will come to you to be kept alive.

         The flood was sort of the great reset and once again, we see the importance of male and female - Noah and his sons and their wives, male and female from each kind of animal.

         The reality is if you put 50 biological men or 50 biological women on an island, regardless of what they identify as, that whole population will die out in one generation. There is no way to create offspring without the two, distinct genders being present.

         Our gender is determined at conception. God has a plan and purpose for our life before we take our first breath. When we trust our feelings over what God has declared to be true, we are essentially declaring that we know better than the perfect, holy God who created us.

         Psalm 139:13-16 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.15You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

         This is one of the most powerful passages in scripture to me. God has made me wonderfully complex. His workmanship is marvelous. If you’re struggling with gender identity, you need to know that God has created you wonderfully complex. He saw you before you were born. He has a purpose and a plan for your life.

         Any attempt to alter how God created you is rebelling against his plan and usurping his authority. It is saying, “I know better than God does. He got it wrong!” That has to be one of the most arrogant, prideful stances we can take. Think of what that would look like if we did that in other areas of our life. God, I know you said don’t steal, but I’m pretty sure I feel like I deserve this thing and I can’t afford to buy it. God I know you said marriage was a lifelong commitment, but I don’t feel like my spouse loves me and I know you want me to be happy so I’m going to bail on my marriage.

         Jeremiah 17:9 The human heart is the most deceitful of all things and desperately wicked, who really knows how bad it is?

         We live in a culture that says, “Follow your heart. Do what makes you happy.” The Bible says our heart is the last thing we should be following. It is desperately wicked. It leads us astray all of the time. Your heart says you don’t feel warm and fuzzy for your spouse any more so it’s time to move on. Your heart wants to sleep with your boyfriend or girlfriend before you’re married. Your heart wants instant gratification. We have to trust in the truth of God’s Word over our own thoughts, feelings, and opinions - very definition of sin.

         God not only has plans and purposes for us individually, he has distinctive roles for men and women in the church and in the home. We see different roles listed in both the OT and NT. Priests were men only. If a person would have identified as a male, would they have been qualified to be a priest? In the NT, there are different instructions to men and women.

         
         

         Deuteronomy 22:5 A woman must not put on men’s clothing, and a man must not wear women’s clothing. Anyone who does this is detestable in the sight of the LORD your God.

         
         

         This prohibition of altering gender is not limited to surgery or hormone blockers. Men are not to dress as women, women are not to dress as men. That doesn’t mean women can’t wear pants - It’s common in our culture for women to wear pants. Pants aren’t considered “men’s clothing” in our culture. Wouldn’t forbid a man to wear a kilt in a culture where men commonly wear kilts. It’s not women’s clothing in that culture.

         
         

         Romans 1:24 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. 29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. 31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy.

         
         
         

         Love rejoices in the truth. Truth matters, and this is a topic that calls us to speak truth. We need to speak it gracefully and with compassion, but we also need to speak it unashamedly. God calls us to protect the weak and vulnerable.

         
         

         1 Corinthians 13:6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

         This comes from the famous “love” passage you’ve probably heard recited at a wedding ceremony. The “it” in verse 6 is love. Love rejoices in the truth. When we truly love someone, we want them to know truth. We want to speak truth.

         James 1:27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

         Why is this so important? In that culture, orphans and widows were the most vulnerable. We have a calling to protect the weak and vulnerable. Our children are being attacked by an agenda that is trying to destroy Biblical teaching. I don’t think it’s an overstatement to say this is an organized attack straight from the pit of hell. Our battles aren’t against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces, principalities, and evils of this dark world.

         What’s the harm? First, the harm is it’s rebellion against God. That never ends well. There are always consequences for sin. The Bible tells us the wages of sin are death. There is also physical harm. Children who are making decisions about their bodies that are often irreversible at an age when they can’t legally drive, they can’t vote, they can’t smoke or drink alcohol and yet we’re allowing them to make these decisions.

         Don’t be apathetic. Don’t be slothful like we talked about on the last episode of the podcast. Engage with your children on this issue. They’re hearing about it non-stop from culture, social media, their peers. Speak truth into their lives. Resources at pursueGod to help you.

         
         
         
         

         Close

         Point

         Text

         Comment

         ]]>bb9ad7da-da0f-49fe-b2b3-c1de4ae84441Thu, 27 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -060045:53falsebonusHelping Kids Set BoundariesEvery parent wants their kids to grow up to be healthy, independent adults. That doesn’t just magically happen! The work you put in during the parenting years will directly impact the health of your kids.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Every parent wants their kids to grow up to be healthy, independent adults. That doesn’t just magically happen! The work you put in during the parenting years will directly impact the health of your kids.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>738a4a27-b816-47b9-ab05-f4c48d054408Wed, 19 Jul 2023 05:00:00 -060039:17falsefullFour Boundary Markers in MarriageBoundary markers show us where one property ends and another begins. Here’s the paradox: recognizing those markers in marriage will make for a better union, not a more disjointed one. In this lesson we talk about four major areas where healthy couples set up boundary markers.
         • Marriage doesn’t mean you lose your identity or that being one means you have no sense of self. You do! You should! 
         • Conflict in marriage often comes when one infringes on the other’s boundaries and tries to control the spouse. Or when we make our spouse responsible for our feelings or meeting our unspoken desires.
         
         

         How You Feel

         Your spouse can’t control how you feel. That’s on you. You are responsible for your emotions and you have to be brave enough to articulate them to your spouse. (Law of Responsibility)

         • You can express how your spouse’s actions affect you but your angry outburst or silent punishment is your choice.
         • Steady Eddie vs Roller Coaster
         • You don’t need to run cover for your spouse’s moodiness or angry outbursts. They are responsible for their own actions. And, we need to loving confront our spouse when they are manipulative or toxic.
         • The doormat (compliant) vs. The bulldozer (controller)
         
         

         What You Expect

         The Law of exposure says you need to voice your desires and needs so your spouse can get on the same page. Your spouse can’t read your mind so you have to share your expectations and be ready to compromise. 

         • The vault vs. the over-sharer
         • You can’t punish your spouse for unwritten rules. 
         
         

         The Work You Do

         You can’t do everything for everyone, so be honest with your spouse about your limitations.

         • Go-getter vs. Video-gamer
         • The people pleaser
         
         

         Your Time Together

         You don’t have to spend all your time together. It’s okay to ask for some free time.

         • It’s good to have personal hobbies apart from your spouse.. It’s okay to enjoy time apart. Being one doesn’t mean you lose all sense of self.
         • Introvert vs. Extrovert
         
         

         The Takeaway

         Boundary markers show us where one property ends and another begins. Here’s the paradox: recognizing those markers in marriage will make for a better union, not a more disjointed one. It takes two people with tender, responsive hearts to make a marriage great.

         
         

         https://www.pursuegod.org/boundaries-in-marriage/

         ]]>Boundary markers show us where one property ends and another begins. Here’s the paradox: recognizing those markers in marriage will make for a better union, not a more disjointed one. In this lesson we talk about four major areas where healthy couples set up boundary markers.
         • Marriage doesn’t mean you lose your identity or that being one means you have no sense of self. You do! You should! 
         • Conflict in marriage often comes when one infringes on the other’s boundaries and tries to control the spouse. Or when we make our spouse responsible for our feelings or meeting our unspoken desires.
         
         

         How You Feel

         Your spouse can’t control how you feel. That’s on you. You are responsible for your emotions and you have to be brave enough to articulate them to your spouse. (Law of Responsibility)

         • You can express how your spouse’s actions affect you but your angry outburst or silent punishment is your choice.
         • Steady Eddie vs Roller Coaster
         • You don’t need to run cover for your spouse’s moodiness or angry outbursts. They are responsible for their own actions. And, we need to loving confront our spouse when they are manipulative or toxic.
         • The doormat (compliant) vs. The bulldozer (controller)
         
         

         What You Expect

         The Law of exposure says you need to voice your desires and needs so your spouse can get on the same page. Your spouse can’t read your mind so you have to share your expectations and be ready to compromise. 

         • The vault vs. the over-sharer
         • You can’t punish your spouse for unwritten rules. 
         
         

         The Work You Do

         You can’t do everything for everyone, so be honest with your spouse about your limitations.

         • Go-getter vs. Video-gamer
         • The people pleaser
         
         

         Your Time Together

         You don’t have to spend all your time together. It’s okay to ask for some free time.

         • It’s good to have personal hobbies apart from your spouse.. It’s okay to enjoy time apart. Being one doesn’t mean you lose all sense of self.
         • Introvert vs. Extrovert
         
         

         The Takeaway

         Boundary markers show us where one property ends and another begins. Here’s the paradox: recognizing those markers in marriage will make for a better union, not a more disjointed one. It takes two people with tender, responsive hearts to make a marriage great.

         
         

         https://www.pursuegod.org/boundaries-in-marriage/

         ]]>55f7912f-1424-4f83-8e03-0338edf2195dWed, 12 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -060040:35falsefullBoundaries with the In-LawsToday we’re talking about setting boundaries with the in-laws. Most of us love our families and feel most comfortable with our own. When we visit our spouse’s family, we realize how different our upbringings were and just the way things were done. It can cause conflict in the marriage if we don’t have the right boundaries in place. 

         Talk about it at https://www.pursuegod.org/boundaries/.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Today we’re talking about setting boundaries with the in-laws. Most of us love our families and feel most comfortable with our own. When we visit our spouse’s family, we realize how different our upbringings were and just the way things were done. It can cause conflict in the marriage if we don’t have the right boundaries in place. 

         Talk about it at https://www.pursuegod.org/boundaries/.

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>ebad54b9-1108-4daf-bd81-98079576dcffWed, 05 Jul 2023 07:00:00 -060045:55falsefullThe 10 Laws of BoundariesDr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend are well-known authors and psychologists who have written extensively about boundaries and personal growth. They have outlined ten laws of boundaries to help individuals establish and maintain healthy relationships. Here is a summary of those laws (Chapter 5 in their book):

         Law #1: The Law of Sowing and Reaping

         The Law of Sowing and Reaping states that you reap what you sow. In other words, the choices you make today will have consequences in the future. If you sow healthy boundaries today, you'll reap the benefits of those boundaries in the future. Don’t be codependent and protect people from the consequences of their choices.

         • Galatians 6:7 Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. 8 Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.
         
         

         Law #2: The Law of Responsibility

         The Law of Responsibility states that you're responsible for your own life and well-being. This means that you're responsible for setting and maintaining your own boundaries. “Love one another, don’t be on another.” We can’t make someone else change.

         Law #3: The Law of Power

         The Law of Power states that you have the power to control your own life and set your own boundaries. You don't have to let others control you or dictate your choices.

         Law #4: The Law of Respect

         The Law of Respect states that you should respect the boundaries of others, just as you want them to respect your boundaries. This means that you should be mindful of other people's needs and feelings when setting your own boundaries.

         • Matt 7:12 Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
         
         

         
         

         Law #5: The Law of Motivation

         The Law of Motivation states that your boundaries should be motivated by love, not fear or anger. When you set boundaries out of fear or anger, they're less likely to be effective in the long run. Can’t be motivated by fear of rejection or hurting someone’s feelings with your boundaries. “Freedom first. Service second”. Some people give and give trying to stay in the good graces of others. It just doesn’t work over time. You grow resentful.

         Law #6: The Law of Evaluation

         The Law of Evaluation states that you should regularly evaluate your boundaries to make sure they're still serving you. Boundaries should be flexible and adaptable, not rigid and unchanging.

         • Eph 4:15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
         
         

         
         

         Law #7: The Law of Proactivity

         The Law of Proactivity states that you should be proactive in setting your own boundaries, rather than waiting for others to set them for you. This means taking ownership of your life and being assertive when necessary.

         Law #8: The Law of Envy

         The Law of Envy states that you shouldn't compare yourself to others or envy their boundaries. Everyone's situation is unique, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Rather than wasting energy on wishing you had what someone else has, be proactive and make the changes necessary to have those things. 

         Law #9: The Law of Activity

         The Law of Activity states that you should be actively working to establish and maintain your boundaries. Boundaries require effort and attention to be effective.

         • 2 Tim 1:17 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
         
         

         
         

         Law #10: The Law of Exposure

         The Law of Exposure states that you should be open and honest about your boundaries with others. This means communicating your needs and expectations clearly and respectfully.

         
         

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend are well-known authors and psychologists who have written extensively about boundaries and personal growth. They have outlined ten laws of boundaries to help individuals establish and maintain healthy relationships. Here is a summary of those laws (Chapter 5 in their book):

         Law #1: The Law of Sowing and Reaping

         The Law of Sowing and Reaping states that you reap what you sow. In other words, the choices you make today will have consequences in the future. If you sow healthy boundaries today, you'll reap the benefits of those boundaries in the future. Don’t be codependent and protect people from the consequences of their choices.

         • Galatians 6:7 Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. 8 Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.
         
         

         Law #2: The Law of Responsibility

         The Law of Responsibility states that you're responsible for your own life and well-being. This means that you're responsible for setting and maintaining your own boundaries. “Love one another, don’t be on another.” We can’t make someone else change.

         Law #3: The Law of Power

         The Law of Power states that you have the power to control your own life and set your own boundaries. You don't have to let others control you or dictate your choices.

         Law #4: The Law of Respect

         The Law of Respect states that you should respect the boundaries of others, just as you want them to respect your boundaries. This means that you should be mindful of other people's needs and feelings when setting your own boundaries.

         • Matt 7:12 Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
         
         

         
         

         Law #5: The Law of Motivation

         The Law of Motivation states that your boundaries should be motivated by love, not fear or anger. When you set boundaries out of fear or anger, they're less likely to be effective in the long run. Can’t be motivated by fear of rejection or hurting someone’s feelings with your boundaries. “Freedom first. Service second”. Some people give and give trying to stay in the good graces of others. It just doesn’t work over time. You grow resentful.

         Law #6: The Law of Evaluation

         The Law of Evaluation states that you should regularly evaluate your boundaries to make sure they're still serving you. Boundaries should be flexible and adaptable, not rigid and unchanging.

         • Eph 4:15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
         
         

         
         

         Law #7: The Law of Proactivity

         The Law of Proactivity states that you should be proactive in setting your own boundaries, rather than waiting for others to set them for you. This means taking ownership of your life and being assertive when necessary.

         Law #8: The Law of Envy

         The Law of Envy states that you shouldn't compare yourself to others or envy their boundaries. Everyone's situation is unique, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Rather than wasting energy on wishing you had what someone else has, be proactive and make the changes necessary to have those things. 

         Law #9: The Law of Activity

         The Law of Activity states that you should be actively working to establish and maintain your boundaries. Boundaries require effort and attention to be effective.

         • 2 Tim 1:17 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
         
         

         
         

         Law #10: The Law of Exposure

         The Law of Exposure states that you should be open and honest about your boundaries with others. This means communicating your needs and expectations clearly and respectfully.

         
         

         Mentioned in this episode:

         Donate Now

         ]]>ca91841a-2f93-42e0-979c-04413858e088Wed, 21 Jun 2023 07:00:00 -060039:12falsefullMormon Stories: The Return Missionary Who Became a Youth Pastor - Unveiling MormonismToday Jason and Lacie Doman share their story. At 19, Jason went to London to tell people about Mormonism. After he came home, he struggled to maintain his LDS faith. Until one day he attended a Christian church and heard a life-changing truth: Jesus is God. Suddenly everything made sense, and he went all-in for biblical Christianity. Now he's the youth pastor of one of the largest churches in Utah.
         ]]>Today Jason and Lacie Doman share their story. At 19, Jason went to London to tell people about Mormonism. After he came home, he struggled to maintain his LDS faith. Until one day he attended a Christian church and heard a life-changing truth: Jesus is God. Suddenly everything made sense, and he went all-in for biblical Christianity. Now he's the youth pastor of one of the largest churches in Utah.
         ]]>fb1f6e8f-0b0b-45e1-8a08-47da96f81f4fMon, 12 Jun 2023 07:00:00 -060045:12falsebonusHow to Set Healthy BoundariesBoundaries play a vital role in our lives, defining the limits of our identity and creating a sense of ownership. In this episode we explore the significance of boundaries as discussed in the book "Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. From the different types of boundary conflicts to the stages of boundary development, we will delve into the intricacies of this crucial aspect of our relationships and personal growth.
         ]]>Boundaries play a vital role in our lives, defining the limits of our identity and creating a sense of ownership. In this episode we explore the significance of boundaries as discussed in the book "Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. From the different types of boundary conflicts to the stages of boundary development, we will delve into the intricacies of this crucial aspect of our relationships and personal growth.
         ]]>bdb1e767-7a38-499c-b52d-476dcd6906b6Mon, 12 Jun 2023 07:00:00 -060051:41falsefullManaging a Relationship with a Vulnerable NarcissistIn today's episode Bryan and Tracy discuss "vulnerable narcissism" - a sense of superiority and inflated self importance in order to hide deep wounds of inferiority and fear of rejection. Like an addict, narcissists feed on the supply of affirmation and attention to feed their ego. When that ego is threatened, narcissists go on the attack in order to protect themselves from being “found out” or faced with the reality they fear most-they aren’t good enough.

         Click here for the Boundaries series.

         Five Things about Vulnerable Narcissism: 

         1. Core Features: Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by a combination of narcissistic traits and a tendency towards vulnerability and insecurity. Individuals with vulnerable narcissism may display self-centeredness, entitlement, and a constant need for validation and admiration, while also experiencing significant self-doubt, hypersensitivity to criticism, and feelings of shame or inadequacy.
         2. Mask of Fragility: Vulnerable narcissists often present themselves as fragile and sensitive individuals who require special attention and care. They may appear modest or self-effacing on the surface, but underneath, they harbor a deep-seated need for constant affirmation and reassurance. This mask of fragility can be manipulative, as it elicits sympathy and support from others while maintaining a sense of superiority.
         3. Avoidant Coping: Vulnerable narcissists employ various coping mechanisms to protect their fragile self-esteem. They may engage in avoidance strategies such as social withdrawal, passive-aggressive behavior, or excessive fantasizing to shield themselves from potential threats to their self-image. These individuals may struggle with criticism or failure, often perceiving them as personal attacks rather than opportunities for growth.
         4. Covert Grandiosity: Unlike the overt grandiosity commonly associated with classic or grandiose narcissism, vulnerable narcissists manifest their grandiose fantasies and desires in a more covert manner. They may engage in daydreaming, idealizing others, or seeking special treatment while downplaying their own accomplishments or achievements. This covert grandiosity serves to preserve their fragile self-esteem and maintain a sense of superiority without drawing attention to themselves.
         5. Relationship Dynamics: In interpersonal relationships, vulnerable narcissists often seek out individuals who can provide them with the constant validation they crave. They may become dependent on others for emotional support and have difficulty empathizing with their partner's needs. This can lead to a cycle of idealization and devaluation, as vulnerable narcissists oscillate between adoration and resentment when their expectations are not met. Ultimately, these relationship dynamics can be challenging and emotionally draining for both parties involved.
         
         ]]>In today's episode Bryan and Tracy discuss "vulnerable narcissism" - a sense of superiority and inflated self importance in order to hide deep wounds of inferiority and fear of rejection. Like an addict, narcissists feed on the supply of affirmation and attention to feed their ego. When that ego is threatened, narcissists go on the attack in order to protect themselves from being “found out” or faced with the reality they fear most-they aren’t good enough.

         Click here for the Boundaries series.

         Five Things about Vulnerable Narcissism: 

         1. Core Features: Vulnerable narcissism is characterized by a combination of narcissistic traits and a tendency towards vulnerability and insecurity. Individuals with vulnerable narcissism may display self-centeredness, entitlement, and a constant need for validation and admiration, while also experiencing significant self-doubt, hypersensitivity to criticism, and feelings of shame or inadequacy.
         2. Mask of Fragility: Vulnerable narcissists often present themselves as fragile and sensitive individuals who require special attention and care. They may appear modest or self-effacing on the surface, but underneath, they harbor a deep-seated need for constant affirmation and reassurance. This mask of fragility can be manipulative, as it elicits sympathy and support from others while maintaining a sense of superiority.
         3. Avoidant Coping: Vulnerable narcissists employ various coping mechanisms to protect their fragile self-esteem. They may engage in avoidance strategies such as social withdrawal, passive-aggressive behavior, or excessive fantasizing to shield themselves from potential threats to their self-image. These individuals may struggle with criticism or failure, often perceiving them as personal attacks rather than opportunities for growth.
         4. Covert Grandiosity: Unlike the overt grandiosity commonly associated with classic or grandiose narcissism, vulnerable narcissists manifest their grandiose fantasies and desires in a more covert manner. They may engage in daydreaming, idealizing others, or seeking special treatment while downplaying their own accomplishments or achievements. This covert grandiosity serves to preserve their fragile self-esteem and maintain a sense of superiority without drawing attention to themselves.
         5. Relationship Dynamics: In interpersonal relationships, vulnerable narcissists often seek out individuals who can provide them with the constant validation they crave. They may become dependent on others for emotional support and have difficulty empathizing with their partner's needs. This can lead to a cycle of idealization and devaluation, as vulnerable narcissists oscillate between adoration and resentment when their expectations are not met. Ultimately, these relationship dynamics can be challenging and emotionally draining for both parties involved.
         
         ]]>d50cd061-b0f4-4acd-b360-0c424abf4b1eMon, 29 May 2023 07:00:00 -060035:08falsefullHelping Your Kids Deal with Weird Sexual ThoughtsJoin Bryan and Tracy in this frank conversation about dealing with weird sexual thoughts, a topic covered in the student section of pursueGOD.org (click here for student topic). While it may be uncomfortable, it's crucial for parents to have this conversation with their children. They discuss personal experiences and the importance of creating a safe space for kids to discuss their thoughts without judgment or panic. The podcast also highlights three key talking points for parents: letting God's truth define their children, taking wrong thoughts captive and aligning them with Jesus, and encouraging regular Bible reading to counter societal influences. The episode emphasizes the need for parents to equip themselves with a biblical worldview on gender and sexuality before addressing these topics with their kids. Tune in to gain insights on how to navigate these conversations with love and clarity.
         ]]>Join Bryan and Tracy in this frank conversation about dealing with weird sexual thoughts, a topic covered in the student section of pursueGOD.org (click here for student topic). While it may be uncomfortable, it's crucial for parents to have this conversation with their children. They discuss personal experiences and the importance of creating a safe space for kids to discuss their thoughts without judgment or panic. The podcast also highlights three key talking points for parents: letting God's truth define their children, taking wrong thoughts captive and aligning them with Jesus, and encouraging regular Bible reading to counter societal influences. The episode emphasizes the need for parents to equip themselves with a biblical worldview on gender and sexuality before addressing these topics with their kids. Tune in to gain insights on how to navigate these conversations with love and clarity.
         ]]>869afee0-0c18-43b4-8baf-0debf9fcfab0Mon, 22 May 2023 07:00:00 -060037:32falsefullParenting Principle #3: Affirm Your KidsEvery kid – even the most challenging ones – need and deserve affirmation.

         The Power of Words 

         • Think about things people have said to you-both positive and negative things. How did those words impact you?
         • Our words have power. We need to use them wisely in every relationship, but especially with our kids. 
         • Q1. Describe the “love” climate in your home growing up (affectionate/affirming or cold/distant?) How have those family dynamics affected the way you express love to your kids?
         
         

         Talking Points:

         God the Father spoke publicly about the Son twice in the gospel of Matthew. Both times it was to affirm him.

         • Matthew 3:17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”
         • Matthew 17:5 But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.”
         
         

         If the perfect Son of God received words of affirmation from his Father, how much more do our imperfect kids need affirmation from their parents? Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 16:24, Ephesians 4:32

         • 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
         • 24 Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
         • 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
         
         

         Every kid – even the most challenging ones – need and deserve affirmation.

         In our last principle, we learned about the importance of loving discipline. But we need to be careful that we don’t stay constantly in the state of correction with our kids. They need positive interactions as well. They need to hear affirming things about who they are. As parents, we need to pull ourselves out of “critical” mode focusing only on the things we want to change in our kids and spend time celebrating how God created them as special, unique  humans who sometimes drive us crazy!

         Remember the 3 B's:

         • Be intentional.
         • Be authentic.
         • Be unique.
         
         

         Q5. What does it look like for you to be intentional with affirmation moving forward? Identify three unique traits for each of your kids that you will work to affirm more.

         Use the 3 T's of Praise:

         • Talk: use your words to speak love and praise over your kids.
         • Time: spend time with your kids and show them that they are a priority to you.
         • Touch: show affection to your kids.
         
         

         Q8. Are you familiar with the 5 love languages? What would you guess is your kid’s language? How can knowing their language help you to love them more?

         
         

         ]]>Every kid – even the most challenging ones – need and deserve affirmation.

         The Power of Words 

         • Think about things people have said to you-both positive and negative things. How did those words impact you?
         • Our words have power. We need to use them wisely in every relationship, but especially with our kids. 
         • Q1. Describe the “love” climate in your home growing up (affectionate/affirming or cold/distant?) How have those family dynamics affected the way you express love to your kids?
         
         

         Talking Points:

         God the Father spoke publicly about the Son twice in the gospel of Matthew. Both times it was to affirm him.

         • Matthew 3:17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”
         • Matthew 17:5 But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.”
         
         

         If the perfect Son of God received words of affirmation from his Father, how much more do our imperfect kids need affirmation from their parents? Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 16:24, Ephesians 4:32

         • 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
         • 24 Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
         • 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
         
         

         Every kid – even the most challenging ones – need and deserve affirmation.

         In our last principle, we learned about the importance of loving discipline. But we need to be careful that we don’t stay constantly in the state of correction with our kids. They need positive interactions as well. They need to hear affirming things about who they are. As parents, we need to pull ourselves out of “critical” mode focusing only on the things we want to change in our kids and spend time celebrating how God created them as special, unique  humans who sometimes drive us crazy!

         Remember the 3 B's:

         • Be intentional.
         • Be authentic.
         • Be unique.
         
         

         Q5. What does it look like for you to be intentional with affirmation moving forward? Identify three unique traits for each of your kids that you will work to affirm more.

         Use the 3 T's of Praise:

         • Talk: use your words to speak love and praise over your kids.
         • Time: spend time with your kids and show them that they are a priority to you.
         • Touch: show affection to your kids.
         
         

         Q8. Are you familiar with the 5 love languages? What would you guess is your kid’s language? How can knowing their language help you to love them more?

         
         

         ]]>d5a14a9d-2db8-4a01-be3f-4744fc496c27Mon, 10 Apr 2023 07:00:00 -060046:47falsefullParenting Principle #2: Discipline With LoveThere’s an ancient parenting paradox: those who love their children care enough to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24

         Proverbs 13:24 says “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

         • Share about how discipline worked in our homes growing up
         • Share how we’ve disciplined our kiddos
         • Spanking? “Mommy spank vs. daddy spank” , spank Saturday
         • Writing letters explaining where they were wrong (teenagers)
         
         

         Contrary to popular opinion, there is such a thing as right and wrong. It’s the parent’s job to teach this in the home. Proverbs 22:6, 2 Timothy 3:16-17

         Proverbs 22:6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

         2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

         Parents have a responsibility to train and to teach. Contrary to our culture, there is such a thing as right and wrong and parents need to teach their kids what those things are. But the manner in which we teach and train matters.

         Parenting Principle

         That’s why our second Parenting Principle is: discipline with love. 

         • Loving discipline turns your child’s heart toward God. First they learn to honor you; later they’ll learn to honor God. Hebrews 12:11
         
         

         The 3 C’s of loving discipline:

         • Clear: establish clear rules and expectations and the consequences for each.
         • Consistent: follow through every time a rule is broken.
         • Corrective: consequences should deter them from making the same mistake again.
         
         ]]>There’s an ancient parenting paradox: those who love their children care enough to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24

         Proverbs 13:24 says “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.

         • Share about how discipline worked in our homes growing up
         • Share how we’ve disciplined our kiddos
         • Spanking? “Mommy spank vs. daddy spank” , spank Saturday
         • Writing letters explaining where they were wrong (teenagers)
         
         

         Contrary to popular opinion, there is such a thing as right and wrong. It’s the parent’s job to teach this in the home. Proverbs 22:6, 2 Timothy 3:16-17

         Proverbs 22:6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

         2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 17 God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

         Parents have a responsibility to train and to teach. Contrary to our culture, there is such a thing as right and wrong and parents need to teach their kids what those things are. But the manner in which we teach and train matters.

         Parenting Principle

         That’s why our second Parenting Principle is: discipline with love. 

         • Loving discipline turns your child’s heart toward God. First they learn to honor you; later they’ll learn to honor God. Hebrews 12:11
         
         

         The 3 C’s of loving discipline:

         • Clear: establish clear rules and expectations and the consequences for each.
         • Consistent: follow through every time a rule is broken.
         • Corrective: consequences should deter them from making the same mistake again.
         
         ]]>51726636-7cd9-4e08-a6a9-a23269f91553Mon, 20 Mar 2023 07:00:00 -060038:02falsefullParenting Principle #1 - Put God First in Your FamilyIf you want to lead your kids to the promised land, follow the timeless advice of Moses to parents and grandparents. The first principle is simple: put God first.
         • Standing at the edge of the promised land, Moses gave a speech specifically for parents and grandparents (pretty incredible)
         • We’ll get to his words soon enough, but first let’s define the “parenting promised land” (goal of every Christian parent) - to raise healthy kids who leave the home and love Jesus on their own.
         • We meet too many parents who grieve over the decisions of their kids - and it’s getting harder than ever to parent. So this goes out to parents with young children at home - you can do this, but start early!!!
         
         

         Parenting Principle

         Parenting is like everything else in life: if you put God first, the rest of it falls into place. That’s why our first Parenting Principle is: put God first. 

         Before you can teach your kids about God, you need to know Him yourself. Where does God fall in your list of priorities?

         Deuteronomy 5:7-21,33 7 “You must not have any other god but me. 8 “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind, or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 9 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. 10 But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those[b] who love me and obey my commands. 

         What “idols” do you have?

         • Money/Stuff
         • Sports
         
         

         What drives us to spend so much time and money on sports? Is it for our own egos? What about that recreational vehicle or costly trips? Do we justify that over God because “we deserve it”

         • Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
         
         

         The fifth commandment

         The command to obey applies to both parents and kids: parents obey God and kids obey parents. The fifth commandment (honor your parents) serves as a bridge between the “love God” and “love people” commandments. 

         1. No god but me
         2. No idols
         3. Don’t misuse God’s name
         4. Observe the Sabbath
         
         

         16 “Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God commanded you.    Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. 

         1. Don’t murder
         2. Don’t commit adultery
         3. Don’t steal
         4. Don’t testify falsely
         5. Don’t covet
         
         

         Are you modeling obedience to God in your own life? Do your kids see you living according to a biblical worldview? If you model a heart of obedience to God, your kids will learn to have a heart of obedience, too. First to your rules but as they grow older, to God’s rules.

         Deuteronomy 6:1-3, “These are the commands, decrees, and regulations that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you. You must obey them in the land you are about to enter and occupy, 2 and you and your children and grandchildren must fear the Lord your God as long as you live. If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life. 3 Listen closely, Israel, and be careful to obey. Then all will go well with you, and you will have many children in the land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

         Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord,[a] for this is the right thing to do. 2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

         Every part of our lives

         Wholehearted obedience should impact every part of our lives – both personally and as a family unit. Learn to practice spiritual disciplines like prayer, Bible reading, and family time. 

         • Deuteronomy 6:4-7
         • What do you as parents model for your kids about your time?
         • Do they see you read the Bible or pray? Do they hear you talk about decisions running it through a biblical grid? Do they see you sacrifice time, money and talents for God?
         • The foundation of your family matters. If God is first, every decision flows from that mindset. If God is second or fourth, your decisions will lead you closer to the things with the higher priority and away from God.
         • As you show obedience to God, your kids will learn to obey you and ultimately God.
         
         ]]>If you want to lead your kids to the promised land, follow the timeless advice of Moses to parents and grandparents. The first principle is simple: put God first.
         • Standing at the edge of the promised land, Moses gave a speech specifically for parents and grandparents (pretty incredible)
         • We’ll get to his words soon enough, but first let’s define the “parenting promised land” (goal of every Christian parent) - to raise healthy kids who leave the home and love Jesus on their own.
         • We meet too many parents who grieve over the decisions of their kids - and it’s getting harder than ever to parent. So this goes out to parents with young children at home - you can do this, but start early!!!
         
         

         Parenting Principle

         Parenting is like everything else in life: if you put God first, the rest of it falls into place. That’s why our first Parenting Principle is: put God first. 

         Before you can teach your kids about God, you need to know Him yourself. Where does God fall in your list of priorities?

         Deuteronomy 5:7-21,33 7 “You must not have any other god but me. 8 “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind, or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 9 You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. 10 But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those[b] who love me and obey my commands. 

         What “idols” do you have?

         • Money/Stuff
         • Sports
         
         

         What drives us to spend so much time and money on sports? Is it for our own egos? What about that recreational vehicle or costly trips? Do we justify that over God because “we deserve it”

         • Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
         
         

         The fifth commandment

         The command to obey applies to both parents and kids: parents obey God and kids obey parents. The fifth commandment (honor your parents) serves as a bridge between the “love God” and “love people” commandments. 

         1. No god but me
         2. No idols
         3. Don’t misuse God’s name
         4. Observe the Sabbath
         
         

         16 “Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God commanded you.    Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. 

         1. Don’t murder
         2. Don’t commit adultery
         3. Don’t steal
         4. Don’t testify falsely
         5. Don’t covet
         
         

         Are you modeling obedience to God in your own life? Do your kids see you living according to a biblical worldview? If you model a heart of obedience to God, your kids will learn to have a heart of obedience, too. First to your rules but as they grow older, to God’s rules.

         Deuteronomy 6:1-3, “These are the commands, decrees, and regulations that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you. You must obey them in the land you are about to enter and occupy, 2 and you and your children and grandchildren must fear the Lord your God as long as you live. If you obey all his decrees and commands, you will enjoy a long life. 3 Listen closely, Israel, and be careful to obey. Then all will go well with you, and you will have many children in the land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

         Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord,[a] for this is the right thing to do. 2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

         Every part of our lives

         Wholehearted obedience should impact every part of our lives – both personally and as a family unit. Learn to practice spiritual disciplines like prayer, Bible reading, and family time. 

         • Deuteronomy 6:4-7
         • What do you as parents model for your kids about your time?
         • Do they see you read the Bible or pray? Do they hear you talk about decisions running it through a biblical grid? Do they see you sacrifice time, money and talents for God?
         • The foundation of your family matters. If God is first, every decision flows from that mindset. If God is second or fourth, your decisions will lead you closer to the things with the higher priority and away from God.
         • As you show obedience to God, your kids will learn to obey you and ultimately God.
         
         ]]>47351f36-a594-43a7-a21f-82ef2ef62a74Mon, 13 Mar 2023 07:00:00 -060042:16falsefullHealthy Couples Keep TalkingShow Notes

         Love and trust are great, but without the practical skill of good communication, your marriage might not go the distance.

         Healthy Couples Fight Right

         Healthy couples keep talking, even when it leads to conflict. Fighting is good and helpful if you do it the right way. 

         Ephesians 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

         The goal isn’t to never fight. In fact when couples say that, alarm bells go off for me. Passion brings emotions. Investing in your marriage means  engaging with each other in real ways. 

         Fighting for something means you care about it.

         Fight Languages

         Avoid the three unhealthy “Fight Languages”: escalation, withdrawal, and invalidation. These habits become the issues that derail you from talking about the issue you’re trying to solve.

         Healthy Skills for communication

         Healthy communicators use “I feel…because” statements instead of pointing fingers at their spouse. Learn to be an active listener and work together to find solutions.

         ]]>Show Notes

         Love and trust are great, but without the practical skill of good communication, your marriage might not go the distance.

         Healthy Couples Fight Right

         Healthy couples keep talking, even when it leads to conflict. Fighting is good and helpful if you do it the right way. 

         Ephesians 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

         The goal isn’t to never fight. In fact when couples say that, alarm bells go off for me. Passion brings emotions. Investing in your marriage means  engaging with each other in real ways. 

         Fighting for something means you care about it.

         Fight Languages

         Avoid the three unhealthy “Fight Languages”: escalation, withdrawal, and invalidation. These habits become the issues that derail you from talking about the issue you’re trying to solve.

         Healthy Skills for communication

         Healthy communicators use “I feel…because” statements instead of pointing fingers at their spouse. Learn to be an active listener and work together to find solutions.

         ]]>18d4dd9e-6213-49a6-b43b-13b20de4a7d3Mon, 06 Mar 2023 07:00:00 -060038:01falsefullHere's How to Earn Trust in Your MarriageIf you want a life-long marriage, trust is essential. It's not something that can be freely given, but must be earned every day. Learn how forgiveness and hard work can help build and restore trust in your marriage.

         Shownotes:

         Three pillars of a great marriage. 

         Choosing love (pillar 1) will lead to a life-long marriage, but it'll feel like bondage without a daily commitment to the second pillar: earning trust.

         We all have examples of people who we can’t trust.

         • Shares info you asked them to keep confidential
         • Person doesn’t show up on time for meetings
         • Over-emotional at times so hard to know what version you get
         • Outright lies
         • Unmet needs even when we’ve expressed them
         
         

         It’s even more devastating when it happens in marriage. The person who is supposed to love you the most has betrayed you in some way. In order to really understand the importance of trust, let’s begin with a definition.

         Defining Trust

         Trust is relying on the integrity or ability of another person. Your ability to truly trust someone is based on their character, not yours. 

         • Deuteronomy 7:9 Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands. 
         • My example with the hot dog situation.
         
         

         Trust is often misunderstood. Trust can be a “you” issue (if you have a history of abuse/abandonment you may be untrusting even if someone has proven to be trustworthy). Usually, though, trust is about the other person, their character.

         The mistake people make is giving away trust without making sure the other person is trustworthy. That’s why the emphasis is on the character of the other person.

         Trust is paramount to a healthy marriage. Healthy couples understand that trust is an ongoing endeavor. That’s why our second principle is this

         Trust Is Earned

         Trust is earned, not freely given. That’s why every spouse needs to work hard to earn trust from their spouse everyday. 

         Think about trust like a bank account. How does it work with money? Deposits build up our account. Withdrawals deplete it. Same with trust. Every word, action either builds trust (deposits) or depletes it.

         Characteristics of Trust

         Measurable

         Good news. You can measure if trust is working in your relationship and there are concrete things you can do to earn it back when it’s lost.

         Measurable part is important to unpack. Here are some examples of measurable things that can be done to earn more trust.

         • Money issues: ask spouse to keep receipts and track with a budget.
         • Porn: get software that tracks searches, get in a group for accountability, give passwords to spouse
         • Infidelity: be on phone when it’s broken off. Give spouse access to your phone, tracking etc.
         • Follow through: create a “to do list”, plan out a time budget etc.
         • When you fail, confess promptly
         
         

         All of those things are measurable actions that your spouse can say “You’re doing those things! I can trust you more” or “You aren’t doing those things so I still don’t trust you.”

         Building trust happens slowly over time, like building up a savings account.

         Trust is reactive… We’ve already talked about the reactive part. Give trust as someone earns it. 

         Trust vs Forgiveness

         Trust is reactive, but forgiveness is proactive. Extending forgiveness opens the door to restoring broken trust. 

         • Colossians 3:12-13 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
         
         ]]>If you want a life-long marriage, trust is essential. It's not something that can be freely given, but must be earned every day. Learn how forgiveness and hard work can help build and restore trust in your marriage.

         Shownotes:

         Three pillars of a great marriage. 

         Choosing love (pillar 1) will lead to a life-long marriage, but it'll feel like bondage without a daily commitment to the second pillar: earning trust.

         We all have examples of people who we can’t trust.

         • Shares info you asked them to keep confidential
         • Person doesn’t show up on time for meetings
         • Over-emotional at times so hard to know what version you get
         • Outright lies
         • Unmet needs even when we’ve expressed them
         
         

         It’s even more devastating when it happens in marriage. The person who is supposed to love you the most has betrayed you in some way. In order to really understand the importance of trust, let’s begin with a definition.

         Defining Trust

         Trust is relying on the integrity or ability of another person. Your ability to truly trust someone is based on their character, not yours. 

         • Deuteronomy 7:9 Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands. 
         • My example with the hot dog situation.
         
         

         Trust is often misunderstood. Trust can be a “you” issue (if you have a history of abuse/abandonment you may be untrusting even if someone has proven to be trustworthy). Usually, though, trust is about the other person, their character.

         The mistake people make is giving away trust without making sure the other person is trustworthy. That’s why the emphasis is on the character of the other person.

         Trust is paramount to a healthy marriage. Healthy couples understand that trust is an ongoing endeavor. That’s why our second principle is this

         Trust Is Earned

         Trust is earned, not freely given. That’s why every spouse needs to work hard to earn trust from their spouse everyday. 

         Think about trust like a bank account. How does it work with money? Deposits build up our account. Withdrawals deplete it. Same with trust. Every word, action either builds trust (deposits) or depletes it.

         Characteristics of Trust

         Measurable

         Good news. You can measure if trust is working in your relationship and there are concrete things you can do to earn it back when it’s lost.

         Measurable part is important to unpack. Here are some examples of measurable things that can be done to earn more trust.

         • Money issues: ask spouse to keep receipts and track with a budget.
         • Porn: get software that tracks searches, get in a group for accountability, give passwords to spouse
         • Infidelity: be on phone when it’s broken off. Give spouse access to your phone, tracking etc.
         • Follow through: create a “to do list”, plan out a time budget etc.
         • When you fail, confess promptly
         
         

         All of those things are measurable actions that your spouse can say “You’re doing those things! I can trust you more” or “You aren’t doing those things so I still don’t trust you.”

         Building trust happens slowly over time, like building up a savings account.

         Trust is reactive… We’ve already talked about the reactive part. Give trust as someone earns it. 

         Trust vs Forgiveness

         Trust is reactive, but forgiveness is proactive. Extending forgiveness opens the door to restoring broken trust. 

         • Colossians 3:12-13 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
         
         ]]>c8f4e1c5-69dc-4817-8629-3eaf929126c4Fri, 24 Feb 2023 07:00:00 -060029:09falsefullLove Is a Choice, Not Just a FeelingThe first pillar for a healthy, lifelong marriage is to choose love. If you're working from a faulty definition of love, your marriage won’t go the distance.

         Stats on Marriage and Divorce:

         • In 2022, expect the divorce rate to be at least 44.2%. This is based on a marriage rate of 6.1 people per 1,000 total population and a divorce rate of 2.7 people per 1,000 total population.
         • Usually, second or third marriages in the United States have a higher divorce
         • rate: 60% of second marriages and about 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
         • Couples going through their first divorce are around the age of 30. Married couples between the ages of 20 to 25 are 60% likely to get a divorce.
         • Ethnicity is one of the notable predictors of divorce. For instance, Asian Americans have traditionally shown the lowest divorce rates of all other races. Currently, it's 12.4 divorces per 1,000 people, with at least one divorce for 18% of Asian American women and 16% of men.
         • India has one of the lowest divorce rates globally, estimated to be around 1.1%
         
         

         Love in Pop Culture

         Modern culture depicts love as a feeling that comes and goes. Many couples use this unrealistic standard to measure the quality of love in their marriage. 

         According to the 2019 Survey of U.S. adults, the most common reasons to get married are:

         • Love – 90%
         • Companionship – 66%
         • Commitment – 63%
         • The desire to have children – 31%
         • Finances – 13%
         • Legal rights and benefits –10%
         • Pregnancy – 6%
         
         

         Examples in popular culture:

         •  The Notebook - forbidden love, root for the affair
         •  The Titanic - 
         • Spanglish - surprising that the guy made the right choice!
         • The Office- Jim and Pam
         
         

         The Principle: Love is a Choice

         The Bible paints a different picture for marital love: Love is a choice, not just a feeling. 

         • Make two lists: (1) good feelings you’ve felt in your marriage (2) bad feelings you’ve felt in your marriage. How have feelings affected your marriage, positively and negatively?
         
         

         Love is based on a promise and is represented by our marriage vows. Mark 10:2-9, Proverbs 20:25

         • Proverbs 20:25 (NLT) Don’t trap yourself by making a rash promise to God and only later counting the cost.
         • Looking back, do you think you understood the commitment you were making on your wedding day? What promises have proven hardest to keep?
         • Mark 10:2-9 (NLT) Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”
         • Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”
         • “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”
         • But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
         
         

         The 5 Love Languages: The point is to choose to speak your spouse’s language!

         1. Words of affirmation: 
         2. Physical touch: 
         3. Acts of service:
         4. Gift giving: 
         5. Quality time:
         
         

         The Ultimate Analogy

         The ultimate analogy for love is how Christ loves his church. He gave up his life for his “bride” even though he didn’t feel like it. Ephesians 5:25-27

         • Ephesians 5:25-27 (NLT) For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 
         • Holy = “set apart” from all other relationships: yourself, friends, your parents, your kids, and anyone from the opposite sex. Also your job, your hobbies, etc.
         • What would your spouse say you need to do to set the marriage apart more?
         
         ]]>The first pillar for a healthy, lifelong marriage is to choose love. If you're working from a faulty definition of love, your marriage won’t go the distance.

         Stats on Marriage and Divorce:

         • In 2022, expect the divorce rate to be at least 44.2%. This is based on a marriage rate of 6.1 people per 1,000 total population and a divorce rate of 2.7 people per 1,000 total population.
         • Usually, second or third marriages in the United States have a higher divorce
         • rate: 60% of second marriages and about 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
         • Couples going through their first divorce are around the age of 30. Married couples between the ages of 20 to 25 are 60% likely to get a divorce.
         • Ethnicity is one of the notable predictors of divorce. For instance, Asian Americans have traditionally shown the lowest divorce rates of all other races. Currently, it's 12.4 divorces per 1,000 people, with at least one divorce for 18% of Asian American women and 16% of men.
         • India has one of the lowest divorce rates globally, estimated to be around 1.1%
         
         

         Love in Pop Culture

         Modern culture depicts love as a feeling that comes and goes. Many couples use this unrealistic standard to measure the quality of love in their marriage. 

         According to the 2019 Survey of U.S. adults, the most common reasons to get married are:

         • Love – 90%
         • Companionship – 66%
         • Commitment – 63%
         • The desire to have children – 31%
         • Finances – 13%
         • Legal rights and benefits –10%
         • Pregnancy – 6%
         
         

         Examples in popular culture:

         •  The Notebook - forbidden love, root for the affair
         •  The Titanic - 
         • Spanglish - surprising that the guy made the right choice!
         • The Office- Jim and Pam
         
         

         The Principle: Love is a Choice

         The Bible paints a different picture for marital love: Love is a choice, not just a feeling. 

         • Make two lists: (1) good feelings you’ve felt in your marriage (2) bad feelings you’ve felt in your marriage. How have feelings affected your marriage, positively and negatively?
         
         

         Love is based on a promise and is represented by our marriage vows. Mark 10:2-9, Proverbs 20:25

         • Proverbs 20:25 (NLT) Don’t trap yourself by making a rash promise to God and only later counting the cost.
         • Looking back, do you think you understood the commitment you were making on your wedding day? What promises have proven hardest to keep?
         • Mark 10:2-9 (NLT) Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”
         • Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”
         • “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”
         • But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
         
         

         The 5 Love Languages: The point is to choose to speak your spouse’s language!

         1. Words of affirmation: 
         2. Physical touch: 
         3. Acts of service:
         4. Gift giving: 
         5. Quality time:
         
         

         The Ultimate Analogy

         The ultimate analogy for love is how Christ loves his church. He gave up his life for his “bride” even though he didn’t feel like it. Ephesians 5:25-27

         • Ephesians 5:25-27 (NLT) For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 
         • Holy = “set apart” from all other relationships: yourself, friends, your parents, your kids, and anyone from the opposite sex. Also your job, your hobbies, etc.
         • What would your spouse say you need to do to set the marriage apart more?
         
         ]]>2775d9e2-283f-46c7-919f-82696504ebf6Sat, 21 Jan 2023 07:00:00 -060045:47falsefull