As much as our culture loves a quick fix 12-step program, there are no quick pathways to behavior change.  In fact, behavior is typically the last thing to change.  But there are many opportunities along the way to dial into what we feel, allow ourselves to be seen, and make space for our responses.  And Laura Carr knows this as well as anyone.  By developing Compassion-Based Awareness Therapy, she has seen the profound transformations that can take shape when we are willing to pay attention to our pain and our guilt.

In this conversation, Laura and I discuss:

• What Compassion-Based Awareness Therapy is and how Laura uses it in her work with couples.
• Why our typical view of compassion is inaccurate and what compassion really means.
• The differences between guilt and shame, and when they are helpful or unhelpful.
• What happens when we blame or are blamed while being disconnected from our bodies.
• The importance of being willing to sit with our own pain and discomfort and what that offers us.
• Taking 100% responsibility for our behavior and our relationships, and why there’s no such thing as 60/40, 70/30, 50/50.
• How we can determine whether our values and our habits are ones that were inscribed for us or whether they are ones that we believe in.
• Why the validation of being seen isn’t enough to transform us.
• Why seeking truth is problematic, the difference between being with the content and being with the emotion, and why going on “autopilot” makes pain seem easier to manage.
• How to know whether sitting with our emotions is creating more suffering or is a path to freedom.
• How slowing down and grounding creates spaciousness when we feel resistance.
• Why, for all our inner work and processing, behavior is the last thing to change.
• The difference between anger that is violent and anger that is productive, and teaching our children not to fear anger.

You can find Laura Carr online at cfmrsandiego.com 

Referenced in this Episode:

Cheri Huber, Laura’s Zen teacher and author

John Bradshaw’s work on shame

Terry Real’s work on grandiosity and guilt

Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning

Harville Hendrix and IMAGO Relationship Theory & Therapy

Plus, get a copy of Rebecca’s handout she mentions in the show here.

Have feedback to share?  We love hearing what our listeners think about the conversations we’re having here on the #POBScast.  Send us your feedback and suggestions here.

When we cheat, it has a way of really getting at the core of who we are.  We think we know ourselves and where our boundaries lie, but this thing we never thought we’d do has us questioning everything.  Often, by the end of it, we just want peace.  

Beth Luwandi Lofstrom has developed her own theory and methodology for working with couples who have experienced an affair and it may go against the usual grain.  As therapists, we of course come into the room with our own biases about infidelity.  Those biases don’t often tend toward understanding of the offender.  And according to Beth, therapists are often focusing on the wrong things in our work with couples working through infidelity.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The problem with our usual labels for the person who has the affair in a relationship and what Beth prefers to call them.
• Why it’s so important that the offending partner is healed properly and why integration doesn’t go deep enough.
• Why ‘Why’ is the wrong question to work through in the clinical space and what we should ask instead.
• Beth’s theory, Whole Human Theory, what it means, and how it informs the work she does with couples.
• Why the mind-body connection is lacking and how it leaves one third of the population out of the conversation.
• The Gentle Benevolent Observer as the highest part of a person, what it is and why it is often underdeveloped.
• The differences between good couples counseling and poor couples counseling.
• Beth’s upcoming book, who it’s for and what it intends to do.
• Whether humans truly are not wired for monogamy and how Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love applies to this question.
• The role of “the snake” in the Gentle Benevolent Observer’s existence.

Referenced in this episode:

Enneagram Personality Typology

[Graphic depicting Holistic Human Parts Theory:]

Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity

Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

For writer, performer and coach, Monica Day, sex is just a piece of the sexuality continuum, but so much of who we are and what we pay attention to plays out in our sex.  In her new book, Play Wild, Stay Safe: The Guide to Giving & Receiving, she discusses safety and risk in our relationships as a foundational introduction to deeper conversations about sex, sensuality, consent and safety and beyond.  And through these conversations, we are able to access clarity around not just sexual mastery, but also power dynamics, healing from trauma, authenticity and so much more.  

I’m thrilled to have Monica with me on episode 45 of the Practice of Being Seen podcast.  Together, we discuss:

• Straddling the duality of “the domestic and the erotic”
• The importance of communication in sex, and the two components of communicating about sex that we are often not taught
• The difference between communication and transmission
• Why every experience is a sensual experience and why we spend most of our lives at odds with that experience
• The one question everybody wants to know about their sex lives, and what our sex tells us about how we are in every other part of our lives
• Why we need safety in order to take risks
• How safety is created, discovered or redefined, and why it’s ultimately about belonging
• Why being told we are safe isn’t good enough and how attuning to our bodily “source code” recalibrates us to be able to identify true safety
• Intimacy as an outgrowth of sharing, cultivating curiosity about yourself and your partner, and the relationship killer that we often do in order to protect monogamy
• Why we need polarities and tension in our relationships
• The problem with our idea of balance and why A+B doesn’t always equal C in the bedroom
• The risks involved in both giving and receiving and why it might be more powerful to think in terms of surrender and creation
• The one major detail we are often not conscious of during sex that, in most any other circumstance in life, would not work out so well.
• Why being a “sacred witness” feels so confronting to most people and how that relates to the innocence we still have
• Moving past sexual trauma, the point at which we overvalue safety, and the difference between sexual mastery and repression
• Discerning between predatory behavior and the “muddy middle”, why we’re so confused about it all in this current moment of Weinstein scandal and #metoo, and what can follow after this cleansing stage in our culture.

Referenced in this episode:

Monica Day’s new book, Play Wild, Stay Safe: The Guide to Giving & Receiving

Esther Perel’s concept of “The Domestic & The Erotic”

You can find Monica Day online at MonicaDay.com.

Are you loving listening to the Practice of Being Seen podcast?  You can buy us a cup of coffee so we can continue shining more light on topics that matter.

Oh,]]>What if who we are in the bedroom is who we are in life?  If we are sensual beings experiencing the world through physical bodies, then what can our inner knowing and intuition tell us about safety and risk--both in sex and in life?  How do we create intimacy and can we relocate our innocence?  And what does it mean if we spend most of our lives at odds with our bodies, when so much of our inner knowing is wrapped up in our becoming attuned to our bodies and sensual experiences?

For writer, performer and coach, Monica Day, sex is just a piece of the sexuality continuum, but so much of who we are and what we pay attention to plays out in our sex.  In her new book, Play Wild, Stay Safe: The Guide to Giving & Receiving, she discusses safety and risk in our relationships as a foundational introduction to deeper conversations about sex, sensuality, consent and safety and beyond.  And through these conversations, we are able to access clarity around not just sexual mastery, but also power dynamics, healing from trauma, authenticity and so much more.  

I’m thrilled to have Monica with me on episode 45 of the Practice of Being Seen podcast.  Together, we discuss:

• Straddling the duality of “the domestic and the erotic”
• The importance of communication in sex, and the two components of communicating about sex that we are often not taught
• The difference between communication and transmission
• Why every experience is a sensual experience and why we spend most of our lives at odds with that experience
• The one question everybody wants to know about their sex lives, and what our sex tells us about how we are in every other part of our lives
• Why we need safety in order to take risks
• How safety is created, discovered or redefined, and why it’s ultimately about belonging
• Why being told we are safe isn’t good enough and how attuning to our bodily “source code” recalibrates us to be able to identify true safety
• Intimacy as an outgrowth of sharing, cultivating curiosity about yourself and your partner, and the relationship killer that we often do in order to protect monogamy
• Why we need polarities and tension in our relationships
• The problem with our idea of balance and why A+B doesn’t always equal C in the bedroom
• The risks involved in both giving and receiving and why it might be more powerful to think in terms of surrender and creation
• The one major detail we are often not conscious of during sex that, in most any other circumstance in life, would not work out so well.
• Why being a “sacred witness” feels so confronting to most people and how that relates to the innocence we still have
• Moving past sexual trauma, the point at which we overvalue safety, and the difference between sexual mastery and repression
• Discerning between predatory behavior and the “muddy middle”, why we’re so confused about it all in this current moment of Weinstein scandal and #metoo, and what can follow after this cleansing stage in our culture.

Referenced in this episode:

Monica Day’s new book, Play Wild, Stay Safe: The Guide to Giving & Receiving

Esther Perel’s concept of “The Domestic & The Erotic”

You can find Monica Day online at MonicaDay.com.

Are you loving listening to the Practice of Being Seen podcast?  You can buy us a cup of coffee so we can continue shining more light on topics that matter.

Oh, and note your calendars, Rebecca will be co-leading a fabulous 5 day retreat at Menla for couples this Valentine’s week, details available here.

This week’s guest is Cyndi Darnell, one of Australia’s leading sex and relationship therapists, and she asks us to consider what would change if we acknowledged that we do in fact have bodies, without which we cannot experience the world.  She wants us to know that it is safe to talk about our bodies, our experiences, our desires.  In fact, she invites us to consider how radically different our world could be if we were more comfortable talking about sex.  How would this change your relationship with yourself or your partner?  How would it change how we raise our children?  How would it change the status quo?

• The beginnings of sex therapy as a field, sensate focus and mindfulness with a “small m”.
• Sexuality as a complex intersection of the many facets of the human experience, but with emphasis on radical acceptance of our bodies.
• Creativity and limitations as opportunity for sexual and pleasure expansion.
• The reductive and detrimental effects of typical sexual education, how it affects us even many years later, and how we can do differently in educating our kids.
• The benefits and limitations to applying mindfulness principles to somatic exploration, and ways that tantra can pick up where mindfulness leaves off.
• Prioritizing touch as both the giver and receiver, and the transformational power in realizing we have agency in both contexts.
• Three simple ways to activate the parasympathetic nervous system to clear the pathway to pleasure.

• The differences between surrender and submission, and the role of permission in both.
• The sexual politics and power dynamics that exist in every relationship, whether we choose to see it or not--and how power plays out when we refuse to see it.
• What therapists can do and shouldn’t do if they are uncomfortable with dealing with sex issues in the clinical space.

Referenced in this episode:

Cyndi’s sex education video series for adults, The Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal

The Omega Institute in New York, where Cyndi occasionally leads workshops.

You can connect with Cyndi Darnell at CyndiDarnell.com, and follow her on Facebook, Sex is a richly complex part of being human and there’s no one way to experience it.  It can be a catalyst for spiritual connection or a source of deep trauma.  It thrives on play.  It emphasizes pleasure for pleasure’s sake.  It enacts politics and power plays.  It insists on respect and permission.  And, in our culture, it is tightly bound to shame.   

Cyndi’s sex education video series for adults, The Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal

The Omega Institute in New York, where Cyndi occasionally leads workshops.

You can connect with Cyndi Darnell at CyndiDarnell.com, and follow her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Are you loving listening to the Practice of Being Seen podcast?  You can tell us what you want more of on our Feedback page, leave us a review on your favorite podcast app, or just buy us a cup of coffee so we can continue shining more light on topics that matter.

Oh, and note your calendars, Rebecca will be co-leading a fabulous 5 day retreat at Menla for couples this Valentine’s week, details available here.

Today’s guest, John Harrison, knows quite a bit about this as a certified Relational Life Therapist, a facilitator for men’s therapy groups, an Army veteran, husband and father.  And, he has found interesting ways to break down those barriers with men in his practice by inviting his own personal experiences into the room with his clients.  

John says that “we can’t teach couples to be appropriately relational if we don’t relate appropriately with them.”  This, and more wisdom in Episode 43 of the #POBScast.

In this episode, John and I discuss:

• Why men feel threatened by the pressure of transformation in therapy.
• The differences in the ways men and women are acculturated and the ways that affects how therapists need to relate to them in the clinical space.
• The impossible standard that modern marriage presents us with and the risk of relationship burnout.
• John’s “Water on the Sink” story, how it changed his marriage, and how he uses this personal story as a relational anecdote for his male clients for his clients to make changes.
• Using relational work versus evidence-based work, and striking a balance between using academic principles and speaking our truth as humans with our clients.
• Sitting with our feelings when our clients trigger us and how we can use these moments to better understand what our clients are going through.
• Moving past client distrust and displays of power in the clinical space.
• Male experiences of their own feminine energy, feminine energy as the oil that runs therapy, and how John fosters the feminine energy in men.
• What John has learned by running men’s therapy groups.
• John’s desire to simultaneously ramp up and scale down in his business and what that looks like for him.
• The draw of “abundance” over doing all the things and trusting the process to avoid burnout in striving toward your business goals.
• The importance of creating space for systems and processes that work for you.

Referenced in the episode:

Esther Perel’s work on relationships, sexuality and desire.

Terry Real’s book, I Don’t Want to Talk About It and his RLT Trainings for therapists.

Connect with John Harrison at LifeMadeConscious.com, where you’ll also find links to his podcast, True Calling Project.

Are you being called toward abundance in your work and your life?  The Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program is designed to make space for abundance through sustainability, integration, sitting with fears and building community.  Doors are open for a few more days before we embark on this journey on 11/27, so if you’re curious to learn more, let’s book a chat together.

So, why is it so hard to go there?  And how are we held back or not showing up as our full selves when we don’t acknowledge money’s role in our lives and confront the fears that come with it?  Can we sit with our narratives and determine whether they’re serving us?  Can we accept others’ feelings toward us when we succeed or fail?  

These are all the things we’re leaning into today on Episode 42 on the #POBScast, as I chat with Tiffany McLain of HeyTiffany.com.  In addition to her therapy private practice, she helps other therapists work through their money scripts and fears to reach or exceed their measures of success, while also highlighting that dealing with our inner and outward money stuff is a measure of our own personal growth.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Narratives and experiences around using sliding scale fees, and how sliding scales can change the dynamics and power differentials in the therapy room.
• When we or our clients feel that we have to perform to someone else’s expectation or the ways that we may feel we’ve underperformed as a result of insufficient boundaries or conversations around money.
• How the conversation of sliding scales and power dynamics invites us to talk about privilege, poverty, insecurity, not-enoughness, and our good feelings around helping.
• The dichotomy of differentiating between your worth and the value of the work, while also acknowledging that it is your humanity that you also bring into the room with you.
• The importance of surrounding yourself with people that support your financial growth, rather than reinforce your shame stories.
• The unique challenges of the upwardly-mobile.
• Being bold in our work and fee structure, but also boldly open to feedback and the things we need to learn.
• Money as energy, as well as money affecting energetic demands on us.
• Giving back without sacrificing our livelihoods as professional helpers.
• Comparisonitis, and whether or not to be transparent with others about our money goals.
• The repercussions of our success and tolerating others’ feelings toward us.
• Financial growth as a measure of our own personal growth, as we deal with the questions and emotions that get stirred up with it.

Money as a conversation piece is as taboo as sex.  It’s as difficult to discuss as racism.  We simply just don’t go there very well.  And, it’s not really our fault.  We generally aren’t taught how to have a healthy relationship with money. We don’t have good (or any) mentorship around it in our careers and we certainly don’t bring money into conversations within the clinical space.  There’s something about money that brings up all the shame and fear.  And yet, it is as necessary to our modern day survival as water and shelter.

So, why is it so hard to go there?  And how are we held back or not showing up as our full selves when we don’t acknowledge money’s role in our lives and confront the fears that come with it?  Can we sit with our narratives and determine whether they’re serving us?  Can we accept others’ feelings toward us when we succeed or fail?  

These are all the things we’re leaning into today on Episode 42 on the #POBScast, as I chat with Tiffany McLain of HeyTiffany.com.  In addition to her therapy private practice, she helps other therapists work through their money scripts and fears to reach or exceed their measures of success, while also highlighting that dealing with our inner and outward money stuff is a measure of our own personal growth.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Narratives and experiences around using sliding scale fees, and how sliding scales can change the dynamics and power differentials in the therapy room.
• When we or our clients feel that we have to perform to someone else’s expectation or the ways that we may feel we’ve underperformed as a result of insufficient boundaries or conversations around money.
• How the conversation of sliding scales and power dynamics invites us to talk about privilege, poverty, insecurity, not-enoughness, and our good feelings around helping.
• The dichotomy of differentiating between your worth and the value of the work, while also acknowledging that it is your humanity that you also bring into the room with you.
• The importance of surrounding yourself with people that support your financial growth, rather than reinforce your shame stories.
• The unique challenges of the upwardly-mobile.
• Being bold in our work and fee structure, but also boldly open to feedback and the things we need to learn.
• Money as energy, as well as money affecting energetic demands on us.
• Giving back without sacrificing our livelihoods as professional helpers.
• Comparisonitis, and whether or not to be transparent with others about our money goals.
• The repercussions of our success and tolerating others’ feelings toward us.
• Financial growth as a measure of our own personal growth, as we deal with the questions and emotions that get stirred up with it.

Find Tiffany McLain online at HeyTiffany.com, and be sure to sign up for her Therapist’s Guide to Raising Fees (Guilt-Free) freebie.

When we create more space (financially-based or otherwise) in our businesses, we are able to take better care of ourselves.  If this is something you’re interested in diving deeper into, I invite you to consider joining me for my inaugural Connectfulness Method Mentorship Program.  And, full disclosure:  I’ve decided to eliminate the time-sensitive Early Bird pricing and simply make the Early Bird rate the official package rate.  Because faux urgency feels manipulative to me and this price feels nourishing.

Learn more about and join the Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program here. 

Laura Long, LMFT wants us all to undo all of those fears by unleashing our inner badass.  Today she chats with me about how her coaching business, Your Badass Therapy Practice, came to be.  She talks about the power in making your own rules, how she strikes a balance with her home and work life, and the unanticipated gifts she’s found in doing brave things.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Fraud feelings, grandiosity, and the one thing that neutralizes them both.
• How Laura’s inner “Bitchy Brenda” protects and inhibits her, and how she puts her in her place when it’s time to move forward.
• Using evidence and logic to undo fear and reframe failure.
• Why therapists are drawn to other therapists in friendships and community.
• Failure and balance in motherhood.
• Compartmentalizing time and attention as working mothers and the idea of “wearing many hats” as moms.
• Why therapist moms might have it the roughest when it comes to attention and self shaming.
• What happened when Laura’s blog post about about therapist moms went viral and why she felt compelled to write the piece in the first place.
• The unexpected relational magic that comes from doing, from planning and creating your next offering and putting it out into the world.

Referenced in this Episode:

Laura’s viral blog post about therapists and motherhood.

You can learn more about Laura Long and the work she does at YourBadassTherapyPractice.com, where you can sign up for her free 5-day Psychology Today profile course, get on the waitlist for her 60 Days to Your Badass Therapy Practice course, and catch up on all her blogs.  Connect with Laura on Facebook at www.facebook.com/yourbadasstherapypractice.

Looking for more evolution in your life and therapy practice, in both planned and unpredictable ways?  Doors for the Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program are open, and you can still get in on the...]]>When we first start out in private practice, when we launch that new offering--anytime we do something new--uncertainty always plays a role.  We prepare and plan as much as we can, of course, but the real clarity comes from doing.  Still, that doesn’t stop the fears, the risk of failure, the shame feelings from presenting themselves, does it?  

Laura Long, LMFT wants us all to undo all of those fears by unleashing our inner badass.  Today she chats with me about how her coaching business, Your Badass Therapy Practice, came to be.  She talks about the power in making your own rules, how she strikes a balance with her home and work life, and the unanticipated gifts she’s found in doing brave things.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Fraud feelings, grandiosity, and the one thing that neutralizes them both.
• How Laura’s inner “Bitchy Brenda” protects and inhibits her, and how she puts her in her place when it’s time to move forward.
• Using evidence and logic to undo fear and reframe failure.
• Why therapists are drawn to other therapists in friendships and community.
• Failure and balance in motherhood.
• Compartmentalizing time and attention as working mothers and the idea of “wearing many hats” as moms.
• Why therapist moms might have it the roughest when it comes to attention and self shaming.
• What happened when Laura’s blog post about about therapist moms went viral and why she felt compelled to write the piece in the first place.
• The unexpected relational magic that comes from doing, from planning and creating your next offering and putting it out into the world.

Referenced in this Episode:

Laura’s viral blog post about therapists and motherhood.

You can learn more about Laura Long and the work she does at YourBadassTherapyPractice.com, where you can sign up for her free 5-day Psychology Today profile course, get on the waitlist for her 60 Days to Your Badass Therapy Practice course, and catch up on all her blogs.  Connect with Laura on Facebook at www.facebook.com/yourbadasstherapypractice.

Looking for more evolution in your life and therapy practice, in both planned and unpredictable ways?  Doors for the Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program are open, and you can still get in on the early bird pricing. Spots are limited, so don’t wait.  Learn more here.

Why is that?  You could say that Dr. Matt Hersh knows a thing or two about this, and today, he’s sharing his thoughts with me on the #POBScast.  

Dr. Matt Hersh is a psychotherapist, mindfulness meditation teacher, and heart-centered entrepreneur.   He is the founder of The Thriving Therapist, which aims to help therapists and healers provide the same care for themselves as they do for their clients.  

In this episode, Matt and I discuss:

• How we create sustainability in our self-care, the “over-striving for ease” paradox, and how to do it differently.
• Self-care a part of who we are or what we do, rather than another to-do, and how to tell the difference.
• What our deeper values tell us about the self-care we really need.
• The personal truths informing our self-care needs, the underlying universal needs contained within, and why they’re important.  
• The discovery pathway for sustainable self-care, on both intellectual and somatic levels.
• Matt’s personal story, in which a life-altering situation imposed an urgent and consuming need for self-care without the seed of sustainability, and how a fear-based relationship with self-care gave him insight into what most self-care practices are missing.
• Finding ease as meaning-making beings and choosing the “Or…”.
• Energy Psychology and what ease and being “in flow” really mean in mental, physical and energetic terms.

Mentioned in this episode:

Matt’s recent live-feed lecture "Psychotherapists and Our Self-evolutionary Path to Sustainable Well-being".

Matt Hersh references Nick Ortner’s work with EFT Tapping. 

Connect with Matt Hersh online TheThrivingTherapist.org.

If you are a therapist or healer who is looking for more support, accountability and community, to move through your fears and implement better habits, so that you can be held in your vulnerability while you vision and take action toward your more integrated, sustainable and fulfilling practice, consider joining the inaugural Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program. 

This is what Dr. Joy Harden Bradford and I are talking about in episode 39 of the #POBScast.  Dr. Joy Harden Bradford is a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia.  She is the host of the podcast, Therapy for Black Girls and saw a need for a Therapist Directory for therapists of color for clients of color, so she took the initiative to create one. She talks about following her heart in her work, our need to curate the media we consume, how to be better allies, and what she’s got percolating for future projects.

• What “cultural competency” means and why our clients need us to demonstrate it.  
• Ways that both therapists and clients can begin taking steps toward improving cultural competency in the therapeutic space.
• Power differentials in the therapy room.
• Importance of trust in the therapeutic relationship and opening a door into the conversation of difference and allowing the client to choose whether they want to enter. 
• Being in flow in your work by doing the things that matter to you, being of service.
• Being intentional with the platforms we have and showing up for the communities that need us even when we feel like we just can’t show up as fully as is expected of us.
• Our urgent need for safety in these disruptive times of social and environmental turmoil and adjoining together in that truth.
• The media as an “assault to our psyches”, filtering as self-care, and when and how to not just filter what we consume, but also curate it.
• The conversation we really need to be having first in order to make progress on issues like gun control, which we as a culture feel more apt to debate.
• Why the problem isn’t in that we aren’t aware of our own biases, but in our insistence that, because we don’t see something, it doesn’t exist...and what we should do instead.
• Taking a knee, splitting, and the “right way” to speak up.
• What allyship really means and what we all can do right now for minorities and people of color.

Referenced in the episode:

Robin DiAngelo’s work on white privilege. And, the “lady with glasses” mentioned is Jane Elliott. (You’ve likely seen her videos on social media before.)

You can find Dr. Joy Harden Bradford and her therapist directory online at TherapyforBlackGirls.com.  Check out her podcast Therapy for Black Girls on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher.  Connect with her on social media:  Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Birthing new projects is no small act.  I’m thrilled to invite you to consider...]]>People of color--black women in particular--have always been an underserved population when it comes to therapy.  Though there are many factors, one important one that we therapists can work on changing is a matter of trust and safety.  A lot of black women want a black therapist because of fear of being misunderstood by a therapist who can’t relate to (or worse, disbelieves) their experiences.  In this present social climate, this is a conversation we all need to have with ourselves and our colleagues.  It starts with seeing ourselves.

This is what Dr. Joy Harden Bradford and I are talking about in episode 39 of the #POBScast.  Dr. Joy Harden Bradford is a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia.  She is the host of the podcast, Therapy for Black Girls and saw a need for a Therapist Directory for therapists of color for clients of color, so she took the initiative to create one. She talks about following her heart in her work, our need to curate the media we consume, how to be better allies, and what she’s got percolating for future projects.

• What “cultural competency” means and why our clients need us to demonstrate it.  
• Ways that both therapists and clients can begin taking steps toward improving cultural competency in the therapeutic space.
• Power differentials in the therapy room.
• Importance of trust in the therapeutic relationship and opening a door into the conversation of difference and allowing the client to choose whether they want to enter. 
• Being in flow in your work by doing the things that matter to you, being of service.
• Being intentional with the platforms we have and showing up for the communities that need us even when we feel like we just can’t show up as fully as is expected of us.
• Our urgent need for safety in these disruptive times of social and environmental turmoil and adjoining together in that truth.
• The media as an “assault to our psyches”, filtering as self-care, and when and how to not just filter what we consume, but also curate it.
• The conversation we really need to be having first in order to make progress on issues like gun control, which we as a culture feel more apt to debate.
• Why the problem isn’t in that we aren’t aware of our own biases, but in our insistence that, because we don’t see something, it doesn’t exist...and what we should do instead.
• Taking a knee, splitting, and the “right way” to speak up.
• What allyship really means and what we all can do right now for minorities and people of color.

Referenced in the episode:

Robin DiAngelo’s work on white privilege. And, the “lady with glasses” mentioned is Jane Elliott. (You’ve likely seen her videos on social media before.)

You can find Dr. Joy Harden Bradford and her therapist directory online at TherapyforBlackGirls.com.  Check out her podcast Therapy for Black Girls on iTunes, Google Play, or Stitcher.  Connect with her on social media:  Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Birthing new projects is no small act.  I’m thrilled to invite you to consider joining my newest project, the Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program for 

Therapists & Healers.  The themes and feedback that have arisen in the work I’ve been doing on the #POBScast have, in part, informed what I am bringing into this new offering.  And, for that, I am grateful to each and every listener and guest. So, if you’ve been desiring deeper support for integrating more YOUness into your work, consider joining us. The Mentorship Program begins 11/27!  

The friction of change during growth periods in our lives is never very comfortable, but for all our fears, we rarely meet our utter demise on the other side.  So, why is it so hard to break through it?  And what can we learn about ourselves from it?

Episode 38 of the #POBScast puts Imposter Syndrome under the lens.  I’m chatting with Melody Wilding, an entrepreneur, coach, writer, and licensed social worker who helps high achieving individuals navigate the emotional facets that come along with successful careers.  

In this episode, Melody and I discuss:

• The conundrum that imposter syndrome presents and navigating the feelings that imposter syndrome stirs up in us
• The paradox of the therapist’s “blank slate”
• Why therapists are well poised for entrepreneurship and what is standing in the way
• The archetype of the wounded healer and the profundity of “me too” validation
• The power of storytelling in writing and speaking that don’t always require self-disclosure
• Finding our growth edge and how our imposter syndrome presents us with a necessary choice
• Resculpting ourselves through accomplishment and reflection
• The need to make space for practice and why our natural strengths only take us so far
• How to move through the stuff that creates the fear and why you need a “shitty first draft”
• Why every step forward always comes back to self-awareness and the messy, murky feelings that show us where to go if we’ll only sit with them
• How Gottman’s concept of relationship bids can translate as a metaphor for moving forward in our careers.

Referenced in the Episode:

Melody’s TEDx Talk, “Trying to Change?  How Self-Doubt Can Actually Help”

You can find Melody Wilding online at MelodyWilding.com, where you can learn more about confidence, overwhelm and more.  Be sure to check out her upcoming HARO program relaunch as well. Follow her on Twitter,  Instagram, and Facebook.

If you are a therapist and are ready for a chance to move beyond your imposter syndrome, I want to invite you to consider joining me for the Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program.  Early Bird registration is now open.

That’s what I’m talking about with this week’s guest, Lizzy Russinko of The Brave Gatherers and A Life Unscripted.  Lizzy is a bold change maker.  A hand lettering artist, an activist, and a community gathering creator.  She literally makes space for transformation and connection.  Lizzy creates amazing retreats and also guides other message-driven, soulful business owners who want to make intimate in-person gatherings a part of what they offer in business too.

In this episode, Lizzy and I discuss:

• How organizing movements and disruptions became a foundational experience for Lizzy and showed her that something powerful happens when people gather together.
• Journaling, word making, accepting our weirdness, and the impulse to share.
• Where the real, magical, vibrational energy that amazing retreats create comes from.
• What in-person conversations can do that internet communities can’t.
• How motherhood has fed and informed the trajectory of Lizzy’s business.
• What it means to have conversations that matter.
• The role of vision boards and creative action in what we do.
• Creating a safe container for community and what happens to that community after the retreat.
• What you, as someone who creates in-person gatherings, communicate to the world about who you are and how this can resonate deeply with others.
• What happens when you make every single guest feel valued and an essential part of the experience from start to finish.
• What you need to know about yourself before you ever begin planning a gathering.

Find Lizzy Russinko online at TheBraveGatherers.com to get connected with her community of new and seasoned gatherers and access her Great Conversations interviews and resources.  You can also find her at RetreatRoadmap.com or view her inspired hand lettering on her Instagram handle, Something magical happens when people gather together in the same space.  Something that can’t happen in online gathering spaces in quite the same way.  Gatherings take many forms: Retreats, workshops, conferences.  Walk-outs, protests, sit-ins.  Tea parties, play groups, picnics.  But the one unifier is that buzz, the energy, that each person feels when they’re there.  A buzz they’ll each carry with them long after.

Find Lizzy Russinko online at TheBraveGatherers.com to get connected with her community of new and seasoned gatherers and access her Great Conversations interviews and resources.  You can also find her at RetreatRoadmap.com or view her inspired hand lettering on her Instagram handle, this_unscripted_life.

And while we’re talking about community…

Are you looking for support to cultivate a more sustainable business model, combat isolation and integrate your story with your big visions of worldly and relational transformation?  I’ve got something big in the works just for therapists like you.  Sign up here to be the first to hear about the launch of the Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program for Therapists

John Clarke is a licensed psychotherapist who has run successful practices in both San Francisco and Charlotte, North Carolina, where he currently runs a group practice.  Because he saw a need for other therapists to get the practical guidance and support they need to create meaningful practices that are also successful businesses, he founded Private Practice Workshop, where he offers business mentorships for therapists.

In this episode, John and I discuss:

• The fears and aloneness we therapists all experience in our private practices, and how the fears we attach ourselves to can change when major life shifts demand that we look at things differently.
• The personal and professional experiences that are shaking things up for John and how he’s choosing to move through and reflect on that fear.
• The power in personal connections and why everyone at every level needs a mentor.
• Imposter syndrome, the comparison game, and the “Facebook highlight reel” myth we all can fall for at times.
• The struggle to get as close to experiencing the beauty in our messes and challenges while we’re in them rather than experiencing the beauty in retrospect.
• Finding our WHY and also our WHY NOT in business and life.
• The power in niching down as both a practice in seeing who we really are and as a means for avoiding burnout.
• Differing perspectives on our ability and need to help others and what self-care really means.
• Where we can find our one true marketing message.

Referenced in this episode:  

Rebecca’s Facebook post about her daughter’s meltdown.

Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning

John Kabat Zinn’s book, Full Catastrophy Living

You can find John Clarke’s podcast, Private Practice Workshop, on iTunes.  Connect with John at PrivatePracticeWorkshop.com and enroll in his free online course, The Business Basics Workshop.  John also leads a digital marketing team for therapists, specializing in Google AdWords and SEO services with the needs and budgets of private practioners in mind. Visit unconditional.media to book your free consultation. John has generously offered a 10% discount on his one-on-one services or 10% off the setup fee of an SEO or AdWords package to listeners who reference this #POBScast episode. 

Are you ready to do more of what you love with a deep sense of trust that you are good enough?  Sign up to receive more information...]]>In Episode 36 of the #POBScast, John Clarke and I thread connections between imposter syndrome, niching down and generating enough income in our practices as therapists, to making the space for reflection on the relationship we have with ourselves and how this informs our marketing message and confidence in the room with our clients.  This conversation comes full circle as we talk about our fears of “making it” in our businesses and in seeing ourselves clearly--it forms a dance between beginner’s mind and owning our expertise.  I love how generous he is in sharing his own current struggles in business too, which reinforces what we all should know to be true: None of us have it all together.

John Clarke is a licensed psychotherapist who has run successful practices in both San Francisco and Charlotte, North Carolina, where he currently runs a group practice.  Because he saw a need for other therapists to get the practical guidance and support they need to create meaningful practices that are also successful businesses, he founded Private Practice Workshop, where he offers business mentorships for therapists.

In this episode, John and I discuss:

• The fears and aloneness we therapists all experience in our private practices, and how the fears we attach ourselves to can change when major life shifts demand that we look at things differently.
• The personal and professional experiences that are shaking things up for John and how he’s choosing to move through and reflect on that fear.
• The power in personal connections and why everyone at every level needs a mentor.
• Imposter syndrome, the comparison game, and the “Facebook highlight reel” myth we all can fall for at times.
• The struggle to get as close to experiencing the beauty in our messes and challenges while we’re in them rather than experiencing the beauty in retrospect.
• Finding our WHY and also our WHY NOT in business and life.
• The power in niching down as both a practice in seeing who we really are and as a means for avoiding burnout.
• Differing perspectives on our ability and need to help others and what self-care really means.
• Where we can find our one true marketing message.

Referenced in this episode:  

Rebecca’s Facebook post about her daughter’s meltdown.

Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning

John Kabat Zinn’s book, Full Catastrophy Living

You can find John Clarke’s podcast, Private Practice Workshop, on iTunes.  Connect with John at PrivatePracticeWorkshop.com and enroll in his free online course, The Business Basics Workshop.  John also leads a digital marketing team for therapists, specializing in Google AdWords and SEO services with the needs and budgets of private practioners in mind. Visit unconditional.media to book your free consultation. John has generously offered a 10% discount on his one-on-one services or 10% off the setup fee of an SEO or AdWords package to listeners who reference this #POBScast episode. 

Are you ready to do more of what you love with a deep sense of trust that you are good enough?  Sign up to receive more information about my upcoming launch, Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program for Therapists coming this November 2017.

Jeffrey says that we often defer our sense of wonder to our children and give ourselves other tasks.  But, what if wonder is grown-up work?  Jeffrey and I both share a common interest in the integration of our creativity, our money-making endeavors, our sensory experiences, and our relationships into one life that is full of meaning.  And actually, who we were as children can tell us a lot about how we naturally do things and how to move forward to create our most important, most integrated work.  This is where we can begin to crack ourselves open and dare to forge ahead to the unvisited shores that beckon us.

In this episode, Rebecca and Jeffrey discuss:

• Exactly what grown-up wonder is and why we need to track it.
• Ideas on the “fear of the jeer” and the ethical dilemma of doing what is right versus doing what we feel like doing in our work.
• The importance of “vision tracking”, wide-eyed naivete and fertile confusion and why we need a series of models, processes and support during our experimentation.
• What a “Business Artist” is and how they navigate fertile confusion differently.
• Jeffrey explains the power in keeping a daybook and how it builds and tracks the meaning in our days.
• The power in the sensory in impacting our intention and attention, and how it ignites creativity.
• Why reflection is possibly more important than simply being present in the moment.
• Three different “Wonder Interventions” that you can start applying to your life right now.
• What it means to “listen with our feet” and why we should all do it.

Find Jeffrey Davis online at TrackingWonder.com.  You can also connect with him on Facebook and join his Facebook Group Tracking Wonder Quest.

Also, be sure to join the #POBScast Community on Facebook.

Are you ready to create your most important, most integrated work, but know you’ll need support along the way?  Be the first to hear about my upcoming offering that is giving me all the butterflies-in-my-stomach feel as soon as it launches:  The...]]>This week on the #POBScast, Rebecca speaks with Jeffrey Davis, a writer, speaker, consultant and founder of Tracking Wonder, a consultancy and community that helps creative innovators, entrepreneurs, and social psychologists flourish through challenge and change.

Find Jeffrey Davis online at TrackingWonder.com.  You can also connect with him on Facebook and join his Facebook Group Tracking Wonder Quest.

Also, be sure to join the #POBScast Community on Facebook.

Are you ready to create your most important, most integrated work, but know you’ll need support along the way?  Be the first to hear about my upcoming offering that is giving me all the butterflies-in-my-stomach feel as soon as it launches:  The Connectfulness Method Mentorship Program for Therapists.

I believe that everything stems from how we see ourselves.  In daring to look at my own shadows, I invite you to do the same.  As we do this hard work together, we shine a light on who we really are and uncover new depths within us to be the change we wish to see in the world--the change that our clients seek in their work with us.

Join me on “The Becca Train” as I discuss:

• What social work revealed to me that my photographic work couldn’t.
• What I’ve learned therapists really need in order to explore their own depths and shadows and why exploring our own depths and shadows is exactly what our clients (and the world) need us to do.
• The concept of the  “Practice of Being Seen” as both the art of formulating a brand and the means by which we create safe relationships--both of which invite a deeper exploration of our needs and truths and our understanding of each other.
• How my grandmother taught me what safety really means and how to bravely move forward when we get stuck, while also highlighting the magic in how safety is created.  
• How the things we feel “othered by” disrupt our understanding of each other and the questions to ask to begin to make more conscious connections.

And, dear listener, it is your turn to co-conspire with me.  How will you contribute to our ongoing conversation this year?  Who would you like me to converse with on the show?  What do you want more of?

Throughout the season, I’ll share my messy process with you and allow your stories and contributions to shape how I see the world too.  Welcome to Season 2 of the Practice of Being Seen Podcast.  Let’s dive in.

Keep the conversation going! Join the #POBScast Community.

And lastly, the Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program for Therapists is coming soon - I can not even begin to tell you how excited I am to share this growing body of work with those seeking a deeply integrated journey - know when it launches by signing up here!

No one knows the power of this beautiful podcast phenomenon better than Elsie Escobar. Elsie is one of the early pioneers of podcasting. In fact, she is about to be inducted into the Podcast Hall of Fame—so cool! Besides hosting two podcasts of her own, Elsie works hard to ensure fellow podcasts are heard on their road to self-discovery. Elsie’s own path is remarkable; you are going to be so inspired after hearing it! Pause for a moment, lean into the silence, and be inspired.  

(And we sort of can't help but love that on this first episode of Rebecca’s solo POBScast hosting journey, in conversation with Elsie, it's Rebecca who's audio is crackly, as if to help articulate her mission of finding her voice…)

Also in this episode:

• People are starting to see the hidden powers of podcasting. 
• How Elsie pivoted into podcasting, and away from acting.
• Yoga as a release from the negative influences of the acting industry.
• Podcasting is a means of self-discovery and self-development.
• Embracing silence and embracing presence while growing as a teacher or leader.
• Our communication powers can extend from teaching into parenthood and other facets of life.
• Continuing to have a grounded and impactful conversation with someone.
• Giving a voice to Women of Color.
• Transitions can be stressful, make room for rest.
• Partnerships in dialogue can bring a new power to a podcast.
  
  There are so many ways to connect with Elsie! To find them all, head over to:
  http://elsieescobar.com/

And do join our #POBScast community at Facebook.com/groups/POBScast 

This episode marks the end of season 1, Rebecca will be back with season 2 beginning September 20, 2017. 

The best way to describe Eleanora’s healing work is “grounded woo,” a mixture of mystery and practical healing work. Informed by the tribal practices in Peru, among many other divine sources, Eleanora wants to enable you to respond to life, rather than react to it. Transform the mind buzz and enter into a realm of inner peace. You Know what you need to Know. Come and join the conversation with us!  

• Eleanora shares her life path to spiritual healing. 
• A day in the life of Eleanora to walk through her grounded spirituality. 
• Human beings are transforming and evolving, but that is hard work.
• Learning motherhood and interrelationships from tribal communities. 
• Allowing life to go by, living presently, and breaking free from routine. 
• Using Chumpi stones to connect you to Peru. 
• Diving deeper into the shapes of healing. 
• Healing practices informed by the earth and by the spirit. 
• Relationships can transform over time. 

Join Eleanora’s Practice Online

http://sacredcenter.net/

Stay in Touch with Marisa 

https://www.marisagoudy.com/

Connect with the Practice of Being Seen Online

https://www.practiceofbeingseen.com/

This week, we sit down with Carla Naumburg, author, social worker, and mother, who has a practice of mindfulness that transformed her parenting. Carla describes her own triumphs and pitfalls as she muddles through motherhood. Her pursuit to live a present and mindful life for her daughters is truly inspiring.

Carla teaches us that you have no need to feel guilt over past mistakes, or fear for the ones you will make in the future. Here is a space to explore your needs as well as the needs of your kids, and heal together as a supportive community. For mindfulness tips, and more, you’ll want to listen to this week’s Practice of Being Seen Podcast.

• Carla is a social worker, practitioner of mindfulness, and a supporter of parents.
• A move to mindfulness inspired on her parenting struggles.
• How to set our children up to learn about themselves from our responses.
• Learn the things that make “your button” less sensitive.
• Teaching roles within a family unit.
• Parenting habits set the stage for relationships in the future.
• How to get un-stuck from the cycles and patterns through curiosity.
• Tips and tools for better sleep.
• Carla’s lessons learned in her mindfulness journey.

Be sure to check out Carla’s books:

Ready, Set, Breathe

Parenting in the Present Moment

Carla's Website

We also invite you to join Rebecca’s #MessyParentingCommunity as well as our new #POBScast Community

This week, we sat down with Robyn Ivy, Life Coach, Photographer, and Advocate. Robyn has taken her dual passions for photography and people to create an approach to self-exploration. She wants to teach us to use photography as a means of meditation and intentionality. Just like a good portrait captures the essence of who you are, the pictures you capture can also say a lot about you. Not only that, but a photo could possibly change the world. 

Robyn is doing all that and more, and we are excited to share it with you! 

Also in this episode:  

• Using photography as a tool to transform how we see the world. 
• The interplay between images and relationships in a changing generation.
• Using our phones for photography in an intentional way.
• The responsibility of being a See-er. 
• Using photography for cancer outreach with Project 3.8.
• Robyn’s incredible story of bringing together a community through photography. 
• Personal practices can make the world a better place. 
• The power of witnessing the uncomfortable. 
• The inside scoop on designing a photography workshop. 
• Robyn’s transition into life coaching. 
• Changing the beauty narrative through really great pictures!

Links

Life Coaching and Portrait Sessions  

http://www.robynivy.com/

Instagram @Robynivy 

After her father died, Janice discovered a secret through his photography that changed her life forever. As his story unfolded, so did her own. Now she teaches, travels, and captures moment by moment miracles all around us. Prepare to think of your photographs in an entirely new light. The world around us is shifting, so it is time to stop and take notice.

Also in this episode:

• Using photography to draw connections between the past and the present.
• Janice’s fulfilling and challenging experiences in Saudi Arabia.
• Teaching as a window to the inner fears of students and then the world at large.
• With the invent of digital imaging, photography is changing; both more accessible and also cheapened.
• Janice’s new perspective on her Father through his secret photographs.  
• The image you create is based on your perspective; the business of creating illusions.
• The story behind Janice’s award winning photo.
• Teaching abroad as a transformative practice.
• Stories shape us, and we shape our stories.

Links:

Janice’s website: janicelevyphotography.com

View Janice’s photography in exhibition at Milk Gallery in NYC, Aug 10th from 6-8pm.

A short documentary about Janice’s work with fifteen photography students from Princess Nora Abdulrahman University (PNU) “What I See Who I Am” https://youtu.be/C_wwM8jAqnA

Join our #POBScast community on facebook at: facebook.com/groups/POBScast

And a special shout out to our sponsor, MetaFi:

MetaFi is a self-awareness app created by therapists that is available FREE on Android and iOS. It is designed to support mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and body awareness. When you tune in and use MetaFi as a tool, you can re-establish and strengthen the emotional connection between your mind...]]>Everybody has a lens from which they view the world; Janice Levy’s just happens to be a literal lens. Janice is a photographer, art scholar, and world traveler. Her work has won countless awards, and her work as a teacher in the US and across the globe has had a deeply personal impact on those lucky enough to be her students. Janice uses photography as more than a way to capture the present. Instead, she uses the memories she preserves to explore the past.

After her father died, Janice discovered a secret through his photography that changed her life forever. As his story unfolded, so did her own. Now she teaches, travels, and captures moment by moment miracles all around us. Prepare to think of your photographs in an entirely new light. The world around us is shifting, so it is time to stop and take notice.

Also in this episode:

• Using photography to draw connections between the past and the present.
• Janice’s fulfilling and challenging experiences in Saudi Arabia.
• Teaching as a window to the inner fears of students and then the world at large.
• With the invent of digital imaging, photography is changing; both more accessible and also cheapened.
• Janice’s new perspective on her Father through his secret photographs.  
• The image you create is based on your perspective; the business of creating illusions.
• The story behind Janice’s award winning photo.
• Teaching abroad as a transformative practice.
• Stories shape us, and we shape our stories.

Links:

Janice’s website: janicelevyphotography.com

View Janice’s photography in exhibition at Milk Gallery in NYC, Aug 10th from 6-8pm.

A short documentary about Janice’s work with fifteen photography students from Princess Nora Abdulrahman University (PNU) “What I See Who I Am” https://youtu.be/C_wwM8jAqnA

Join our #POBScast community on facebook at: facebook.com/groups/POBScast

And a special shout out to our sponsor, MetaFi:

MetaFi is a self-awareness app created by therapists that is available FREE on Android and iOS. It is designed to support mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and body awareness. When you tune in and use MetaFi as a tool, you can re-establish and strengthen the emotional connection between your mind and body. MetaFi helps you increase awareness of how you show up from moment to moment so you can improve your relationships, productivity, creativity, emotional intelligence, and thinking. Download it today! metafi.me

Over the next month, Marisa will be leaving the podcast to dig deep into her passion as a writer. Her vision is to grow not only in her own writing but to develop your writing as well. 

Rebecca will stay on with the Practice of Being Seen, she’ll continue to produce the podcast, and share her passion for serving other therapists through individual consulting and in a new mentorship program (sign up here to learn more).

Both Rebecca and Marisa acknowledge that growth is difficult, change can be uncomfortable, and new directions seem uncertain. However, both of your hosts wanted to create space to hold those feelings and explore the healthy and powerful ways that new communities will be born from the amazing group of people already joined together around the POBScast. 

In this week’s episode, friend and colleague Patricia Young turns the tables to interview Rebecca and Marisa about the decision to part ways, as well as explore the new projects and dreams taking root. This is a space for transformation, so we invite you in to begin a change today! 

• Re-visiting the vision for the Podcast and setting a vision for the future. 
• Addressing unspoken expectations. 
• Discussing the joys and the challenges of partnership. 
• Where both Rebecca and Marisa want to go is different. 
• The role of emotions in decision-making processes. 
• Projects are growing! 
• Hoping to see this as a model for others in the middle of a collaboration challenge. 
• Marisa launching the Sovereign Writers Community. 
• Stay tuned for the new Practice of Being Seen Community. 
• The Revision Retreat will remain a joint venture! 

Links 

Marisa’s New Online Home

https://www.marisagoudy.com/

Find Patricia Online

http://patriciayounglcsw.com/ 

And we invite you to join our public POBScast community on facebook for all the latest on our podcast conversations, offerings and updates!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/pobscast 

This week, Margaret Thompson, LCSW journeys with us into the art of being and becoming a couples therapist and traveling through all the feelings of imposter syndrome and doubt. We'll dive deep with us into the skills we all need to navigate trauma and attachment. And then zoom out to see how those skills can change your life.

Margaret wants to give you energy and confidence to put your “Yes” on the table for your client, to walk into the room completely at ease with yourself. We discuss how therapists can be a “container for hope” for their clients. And yet, therapists often go through seasons where they feel depleted. In her wisdom and confidence, Margaret sheds light on the way back to feelings of hope and of home!

Show Highlights: 

• Using Neuroscience and Attachment Science within couples therapy 
• The impact of early childhood trauma in forming attachments and relationships. 
• Unconscious patterns within our relationships. 
• Skills that therapists can use within their practice to apply Attachment. 
• The work we do with the clients can reflect back on our own relationships. 
• Working with couples where one or both partners are in individual therapy. 
• Consultation groups can help therapists gain confidence through client drop out. 
• How therapists navigate the feelings of imposter syndrome. 
• Mentorship and the creation of self-knowledge 

Links:

Connect with Margaret

Margaret also Recommends 

The Power of Presence: Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage Others by Kristi Hedges

The thing about retreats..... They are containers. Time to get things done in a space that holds us to our purpose. 

Our POBS ReVision Retreat for Therapists is fast approaching, and we promise that we'll hold you in the same way. We'll help you to focus inwards and integrate that project that's been slowly eating away at you. The one you keep promising yourself to make time for...that one. We'll evoke a depth of discussions in a collective healing community and space. I feel that's what too many of us lack. A place we feel we really belong. A place we feel safe to really put ourselves out there and be seen. A place where we can step in or out of the shadows and explore what we see together.  

We'll help you manifest your vision. Help you sow the seeds to bring her to life.  It's going to be a deep gentle dive and soulful rejuvenation that helps integrate your passions and visions with the practical doing and radical self-care. 

So if you haven't already, check out the ReVision Retreat for Therapists. Space is very, very limited and being snatched]]>Are you willing to do hard work? This is the question that therapy clients are ask in one way or another, whether or not they say it in so many words. Compassionate therapists are so ready to answer “Yes!” Even with that willingness to do the hard work of navigating relationships, trauma, attachments, etc. it can take a toll on your confidence. We need to put into practice the skills we learned to help our clients to reflect on our own lives. We need confidence, self-assurance, and hope. 

This week, Margaret Thompson, LCSW journeys with us into the art of being and becoming a couples therapist and traveling through all the feelings of imposter syndrome and doubt. We'll dive deep with us into the skills we all need to navigate trauma and attachment. And then zoom out to see how those skills can change your life.

Margaret wants to give you energy and confidence to put your “Yes” on the table for your client, to walk into the room completely at ease with yourself. We discuss how therapists can be a “container for hope” for their clients. And yet, therapists often go through seasons where they feel depleted. In her wisdom and confidence, Margaret sheds light on the way back to feelings of hope and of home!

Show Highlights: 

• Using Neuroscience and Attachment Science within couples therapy 
• The impact of early childhood trauma in forming attachments and relationships. 
• Unconscious patterns within our relationships. 
• Skills that therapists can use within their practice to apply Attachment. 
• The work we do with the clients can reflect back on our own relationships. 
• Working with couples where one or both partners are in individual therapy. 
• Consultation groups can help therapists gain confidence through client drop out. 
• How therapists navigate the feelings of imposter syndrome. 
• Mentorship and the creation of self-knowledge 

Links:

Connect with Margaret

Margaret also Recommends 

The Power of Presence: Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage Others by Kristi Hedges

The thing about retreats..... They are containers. Time to get things done in a space that holds us to our purpose. 

Our POBS ReVision Retreat for Therapists is fast approaching, and we promise that we'll hold you in the same way. We'll help you to focus inwards and integrate that project that's been slowly eating away at you. The one you keep promising yourself to make time for...that one. We'll evoke a depth of discussions in a collective healing community and space. I feel that's what too many of us lack. A place we feel we really belong. A place we feel safe to really put ourselves out there and be seen. A place where we can step in or out of the shadows and explore what we see together.  

We'll help you manifest your vision. Help you sow the seeds to bring her to life.  It's going to be a deep gentle dive and soulful rejuvenation that helps integrate your passions and visions with the practical doing and radical self-care. 

So if you haven't already, check out the ReVision Retreat for Therapists. Space is very, very limited and being snatched up. Use the code "Summer!" for a special POBScast discount!

And finally, a special shout out to this week’s sponsor, MetaFi:

MetaFi is a self-awareness app created by therapists that is available FREE on Android and iOS. It is designed to support mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and body awareness. When you tune in and use MetaFi as a tool, you can re-establish and strengthen the emotional connection between your mind and body. MetaFi helps you increase awareness of how you show up from moment to moment so you can improve your relationships, productivity, creativity, emotional intelligence, and thinking.

Mineela Chand is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who seeks to spread an emotional awareness in all aspects of our lives. Recently, she gave a Ted Talk showing how we can depend on qualitative data as well as quantitative data to shape the way our businesses function. The emotional environment within a team or industry can truly shape the lives of the people who work there. When we bring an awareness to our “emotional ecosystem” we can begin to create a positive impact in not just our own lives, but the lives of those we work and live with. Take a moment to let your emotions be your guide, and learn from Mineela’s wisdom to take brave steps towards new ground. 

Show Highlights: 

• Working with Johnson and Johnson to reconcile the quantitative with the qualitative. 
• The Diary Study—how negative interactions with work colleagues creates a negative work environment. 
• The “soft stuff” of life that matters to us. 
• Preparing for a Ted Talk 
• What exactly is an emotional ecosystem? How can teams and organizations build a healthy ecosystem? 
• Balance and the value of using emotions without letting them overwhelm us. 
• Mineela’s eye-opening journey towards therapy. 
• De-cluttering and re-balancing life towards things that nourish you. 
• Learning from seasons of change and discomfort. 
• Moments of vulnerability as moments of power. 

Links 

Mineela is always open for questions! Contact her at her website. 

http://mineelachandmft.com/

Join the Practice of Being Seen Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/POBScast/

Do you have a theory, a venture, an offering, that the world doesn’t know about yet? It’s time to tune in and create the space that will enable your project and your passion to come to life.

We invite you to take a closer look at (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future | a Practice Of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers being held at the @menlamountain Retreat in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains this August 13th-16th.

This is A CHANCE TO PAUSE, root into nature, and look within. When you see yourself clearly, you’re able to bring your vision into focus and you’re able to manifest the next big project or next big growth phase for your practice.

(Re)Vision is an investment both in your business and also in yourself. It is a chance to deepen your practice, learn new skills, root into nature and spirit, and make time for some radical self-care.

Your investment includes tuition, accommodations, three meals a day, a one-year...]]>Are you one of so many people struggling toward work-life balance? How do you walk into your work environment? Does it serve you in more than finances? We spend 40 hours a week at work. The places we work and the people we work with have a tremendous impact on our lives. The old school way of thinking says that we need to check our emotions and other “soft stuff” at the door when we come to work, but studies are showing that does not have to be true. 

Mineela Chand is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who seeks to spread an emotional awareness in all aspects of our lives. Recently, she gave a Ted Talk showing how we can depend on qualitative data as well as quantitative data to shape the way our businesses function. The emotional environment within a team or industry can truly shape the lives of the people who work there. When we bring an awareness to our “emotional ecosystem” we can begin to create a positive impact in not just our own lives, but the lives of those we work and live with. Take a moment to let your emotions be your guide, and learn from Mineela’s wisdom to take brave steps towards new ground. 

Show Highlights: 

• Working with Johnson and Johnson to reconcile the quantitative with the qualitative. 
• The Diary Study—how negative interactions with work colleagues creates a negative work environment. 
• The “soft stuff” of life that matters to us. 
• Preparing for a Ted Talk 
• What exactly is an emotional ecosystem? How can teams and organizations build a healthy ecosystem? 
• Balance and the value of using emotions without letting them overwhelm us. 
• Mineela’s eye-opening journey towards therapy. 
• De-cluttering and re-balancing life towards things that nourish you. 
• Learning from seasons of change and discomfort. 
• Moments of vulnerability as moments of power. 

Links 

Mineela is always open for questions! Contact her at her website. 

http://mineelachandmft.com/

Join the Practice of Being Seen Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/POBScast/

Do you have a theory, a venture, an offering, that the world doesn’t know about yet? It’s time to tune in and create the space that will enable your project and your passion to come to life.

We invite you to take a closer look at (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future | a Practice Of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers being held at the @menlamountain Retreat in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains this August 13th-16th.

This is A CHANCE TO PAUSE, root into nature, and look within. When you see yourself clearly, you’re able to bring your vision into focus and you’re able to manifest the next big project or next big growth phase for your practice.

(Re)Vision is an investment both in your business and also in yourself. It is a chance to deepen your practice, learn new skills, root into nature and spirit, and make time for some radical self-care.

Your investment includes tuition, accommodations, three meals a day, a one-year membership in the POBS Membership Community for Therapists, pre-retreat consults, a free 60-minute spa treatment at Menla's Great Bliss Spa, and a full swag bag of nuturingness!

And #BIGNEWS: We've managed to reduce the price! Get all the deets and the new pricing here: practiceofbeingseen.com/revision-2017-retreat

Faster than a speeding bullet, Dr. Annie Schuessler is here to show you just where your inner power lies. She realized that Therapists really are just like superheroes, complete with their own superpowers! Through coaching, writing, and her podcast, Annie is on a mission to change the way you think about yourself. So what are these superpowers, and how can they help you grow your practice? How can understanding your true power really impact your practice? Check out the whole conversation, to find out how!

Episode Highlights: 

• Where did the Therapist Superpowers come from? 
• Ways to help you access your superpowers. 
• Embrace and learn to use your superpower. 
• Annie shares her own inner power, and how she started coaching. 
• Superpowers within your identity. How struggles produce strength.
• Annie embraces her “label” as a queer woman and shows us how labels can help us craft our identity. 
• It’s hard to grow, but it is also beautiful! 
• Tips and tricks towards building confidence with the work you are doing. 
• Using a journal to track your growth and string together some threads. 
• Understanding how an entrepreneurial spirit can influence your practice. 

Links:

Annie’s Website

Listen to Annie’s Podcast: Therapist Clubhouse

Do you have a theory, a venture, an offering, that the world doesn’t know about yet? It’s time to tune in and create the space that will enable your project and your passion to come to life.

We invite you to take a closer look at (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future | a Practice Of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers being held at the @menlamountain Retreat in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains this August 13th-16th.

This is A CHANCE TO PAUSE, root into nature, and look within. When you see yourself clearly, you’re able to bring your vision into focus and you’re able to manifest the next big project or next big growth phase for your practice.

(Re)Vision is an investment both in your business and also in yourself. It is a chance to deepen your practice, learn new skills, root into nature and spirit, and make time for some radical self-care.

Your investment includes tuition, accommodations, three meals a day, a one-year membership in the POBS Membership Community for Therapists, pre-retreat consults, a free 60-minute spa treatment at Menla's Great Bliss Spa, and a full swag bag of nuturingness!

And #BIGNEWS: We've managed to reduce the price! Get all the deets and the new pricing here: We all love a good superhero movie. It’s hard not to leave the theater feeling inspired, empowered, and ready to change the world. Therapists are already changing the world, but for many trying to grow a private practice, it can seem difficult to push through the hard parts of growth. It’s easy to lose yourself in your practice, and you might start to feel the kryptonite of discouragement before long.

Annie’s Website

Listen to Annie’s Podcast: Therapist Clubhouse

Do you have a theory, a venture, an offering, that the world doesn’t know about yet? It’s time to tune in and create the space that will enable your project and your passion to come to life.

We invite you to take a closer look at (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future | a Practice Of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers being held at the @menlamountain Retreat in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains this August 13th-16th.

This is A CHANCE TO PAUSE, root into nature, and look within. When you see yourself clearly, you’re able to bring your vision into focus and you’re able to manifest the next big project or next big growth phase for your practice.

(Re)Vision is an investment both in your business and also in yourself. It is a chance to deepen your practice, learn new skills, root into nature and spirit, and make time for some radical self-care.

Your investment includes tuition, accommodations, three meals a day, a one-year membership in the POBS Membership Community for Therapists, pre-retreat consults, a free 60-minute spa treatment at Menla's Great Bliss Spa, and a full swag bag of nuturingness!

And #BIGNEWS: We've managed to reduce the price! Get all the deets and the new pricing here: practiceofbeingseen.com/revision-2017-retreat

Tamara Powell, founder of Arya Therapy Services, Tales of Being a Trapezoid Community and the Undress the Spirit Podcast joins us to talk about sexuality, identity, expression, and authenticity.

In this podcast, we dive deep into:

• how to live life as a sacred dance of giving and accepting invitations
• the connection between shame and trauma, and sensuality and sexuality
• the balance between taking responsibility and experiencing pleasure
• the empowering stories behind archetypes like Lilith and Mary Magdalene
• how to be authentic to your truest self and recognize the guidance you are able to receive at all times

To learn more about Tamara’s Therapy services, please go to: https://www.facebook.com/aryatherapyservices/

To follow Tamara and her community of like-mind Trapezoids, go to: https://www.facebook.com/talesfromatrapezoid/

To listen to her podcast, to go: https://www.facebook.com/undressingthespirit/

Thanks to this week’s sponsor, MetaFi:

MetaFi is a self-awareness app created by therapists that is available FREE on Android and iOS. It is designed to support mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and body awareness. When you tune in and use MetaFi as a tool, you can re-establish and strengthen the emotional connection between your mind and body. MetaFi helps you increase awareness of how you show up from moment to moment so you can improve your relationships, productivity, creativity, emotional intelligence, and thinking.

Please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers. Coming up August 13 - 16, 2017: (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future at the Menla Mountain Retreat in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains.

We go way beyond puppy love in this episode….

• You know we love storytelling on the POBScast, and we also know that “stories” can be tricky, especially when it comes the stories a person can tells about herself, her partner, and her relationship. Neil helps us unpack when stories are helpful and when they perpetuate illusions. If you have conclusions about your partner, there’s a good chance the relationship will conclude, says Neil.
  
  
• We play with the whole “be present” thing. Is it always possible and even desirable to be present in every moment? Conscious timeouts are key to relational harmony.
  
  
• Relationships change over time. We talk about how humor and clear communication about your needs can help couples shape “a story of now” and keep growing together.
  
  
• Neil shares his professional and podcasting journey. We love that he credited meditation and the mystical for helping him find his way. (And we know it took a lot of laser focus and determination too!)  
  
  
• And, we dish a little bit on what it’s like to learn from one of the biggest names in the personal development world. Such rich territory as we talk about expectations, the art of generative questioning, and stepping outside of the story so that it can rewrite itself.

Learn more about Neil and his services: http://www.neilsattin.com/

To listen to his podcast:  http://www.neilsattin.com/relationshipalive/

And, if you’re looking to deepen your connection with your partner, learn how to create thriving intimacy with Neil and his partner, Chloe, go to: http://thenewloveparadigm.com/

Registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers. Coming up August 13 - 16, 2017: (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future at the Menla Mountain Retreat in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains.

If relationships are so fundamental to who we are, why are so many couples in trouble these days? Marriage wasn’t built for long walks on the beach and sex into your 70s. Marriage was built for companion and stability. So often, the reality doesn’t meet expectations.

Terry defines a “new intimacy” and tells us how this is synonymous with freeing men and women from the bonds and expectations of patriarchy. He invites us to think about relationships “ecologically” and understand how to act out of “enlightened self-interest” because we’re all so connected.

Therapeutic neutrality is a myth, says Terry and he believes you can’t teach people to be relational unless you’re relational with them. He teaches therapists to judiciously self-disclose and loves hearing his own clients say “I trusted you because I knew you’d been through it.”

All of this relational work has a spiritual component. Terry describes the movement from “first consciousness” and the knee-jerk, conditioned emotional reactions into the cultivation of “second consciousness,” which is marked by thoughtful, freedom-based responses. He helps people move from being “adaptive children” to becoming functional adults.

Other important topics covered in this conversation include the importance of:

• taking the right kind of timeout (link below)
• breaking free from ancestral pathologies
• understanding that technology can play in making us tune into ourselves and others
• the 3 key phases of healing a relationship: loving confrontation, trauma and family of origin work, and skill building
• Your feelings haven't left you, you've left them (we talk about tracking your feelings)

We close with a discussion of the “rules” of marriage. Ultimately, it’s about following some universal laws of relationships and moving into freedom, choice, and perspective. The new rules that Terry puts forth are about liberation while staying within bounds of a union. He believes that even deeper than personal empowerment is what he calls relational empowerment.

For more on Terry’s trainings and books, visit https://www.terryreal.com/

Get his 10 Commandments of Time Outs: http://www.terryreal.com/10-commandments-of-time-outs/

See the full text of the DH Lawrence poem, “The Healing” that Terry recites: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/575443-i-am-not-a-mechanism-an-assembly-of-various-sections

OUR SPONSOR

We’re so excited to highlight MetaFi in this week’s conversation with Terry Real. MetaFi...]]>If someone told you that authentic relationships can cure just about everything, would you believe him? Listen to nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher Terry Real talk about “how to live a relational life” and there’s a great chance you’ll be on board with that idea.

If relationships are so fundamental to who we are, why are so many couples in trouble these days? Marriage wasn’t built for long walks on the beach and sex into your 70s. Marriage was built for companion and stability. So often, the reality doesn’t meet expectations.

Terry defines a “new intimacy” and tells us how this is synonymous with freeing men and women from the bonds and expectations of patriarchy. He invites us to think about relationships “ecologically” and understand how to act out of “enlightened self-interest” because we’re all so connected.

Therapeutic neutrality is a myth, says Terry and he believes you can’t teach people to be relational unless you’re relational with them. He teaches therapists to judiciously self-disclose and loves hearing his own clients say “I trusted you because I knew you’d been through it.”

All of this relational work has a spiritual component. Terry describes the movement from “first consciousness” and the knee-jerk, conditioned emotional reactions into the cultivation of “second consciousness,” which is marked by thoughtful, freedom-based responses. He helps people move from being “adaptive children” to becoming functional adults.

Other important topics covered in this conversation include the importance of:

• taking the right kind of timeout (link below)
• breaking free from ancestral pathologies
• understanding that technology can play in making us tune into ourselves and others
• the 3 key phases of healing a relationship: loving confrontation, trauma and family of origin work, and skill building
• Your feelings haven't left you, you've left them (we talk about tracking your feelings)

We close with a discussion of the “rules” of marriage. Ultimately, it’s about following some universal laws of relationships and moving into freedom, choice, and perspective. The new rules that Terry puts forth are about liberation while staying within bounds of a union. He believes that even deeper than personal empowerment is what he calls relational empowerment.

For more on Terry’s trainings and books, visit https://www.terryreal.com/

Get his 10 Commandments of Time Outs: http://www.terryreal.com/10-commandments-of-time-outs/

See the full text of the DH Lawrence poem, “The Healing” that Terry recites: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/575443-i-am-not-a-mechanism-an-assembly-of-various-sections

OUR SPONSOR

We’re so excited to highlight MetaFi in this week’s conversation with Terry Real. MetaFi is a self-awareness app created by therapists that is available FREE on Android and iOS. It is designed to support mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and body awareness. When you tune in and use MetaFi as tool, you can re-establish and strengthen the emotional connection between your mind and body. MetaFi helps you increase awareness of how you show up from moment to moment so you can improve your relationships, productivity, creativity, emotional intelligence, and thinking.

Get started today with your free download: https://www.metafi.me/#meet-metafi

And please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers. Coming up August 13 - 16, 2017: (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future at the Menla Mountain Retreat in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains.

Licensed marriage and family therapist and ZynnyMe cofounder Kelly Higdon has established a business model that many of us don’t dare to dream of: she went from the kind of overwork that landed her in the hospital to taking up to four months off each year.

In this episode:

• Kelly reveals how focusing on different aspects of her business during different seasons has completely transformed her work-life balance for the better.

• We explore how operating with a minimalist mentality can help “clear out the clutter” and be inspiration for taking the next step toward your greater goals
• We discuss the importance of knowing the difference between “good push and bad push” and how to know when to reevaluate your plan so it serves your higher purpose.
• We dive into how finding the connection between what you dream of and what you are doing today is the key to unleashing your ultimate creativity.

Learn more about Kelly’s coaching services for entrepreneurs: http://www.kellyhigdon.com/

And, if you’re a private practice therapist or your want to be, check out ZynnyMe and their  Business School Bootcamp, conferences, and retreats: https://www.zynnyme.com/

Thanks to this week’s sponsor: Being Seen

Being Seen is a new therapist directory service that is dedicated to helping new potential clients find your private practice. Yes, there are other directories out there, but Being Seen is different - their skilled marketing team is building a broad network that seekers can find easily, but they’re limiting the number of therapists in the directory. That means the people seeking help don’t get overwhelmed and you’re always near the top of the list.

When you join the Being Seen network you get access to exclusive trainings and discounts on CEUs. And they stand behind their promise to help you grow your practice - If you're not thrilled with their service inside of one year’s time, just send an email and they'll refund your money. Find them at www.beingseen.org

And please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers. Coming up August 13 - 16, 2017: (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future at the Menla Mountain Retreat in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains.

When you meet Marsha in real life, she makes an impression. You always remember what you feel around her (it’s all about grinning and being fabulously real, we find). That phenomenon totally carries over into the POBScast experience.

There’s a truth that so many coaches share: When you get very clear on why you are doing what you are doing, everything changes. When you’re in alignment, the universe starts throwing what you need in your path. Marsha tells us about her light bulb moment…

For years she thought she was supposed to be using her storytelling coaching skills in order to help nonprofits and other change the world ideas, but then she realized her real mission: she’s going to help us all understand that no one has their SH** together. She lives her message across her online platforms, but particularly in her weekly Facebook thread: “I don’t have it all together Tuesday.” (Follow her personal FB profile to participate - it’s the best!)

The experience of selling your personal brand, especially as a coach, means that you need to put out the best version of yourself. It’s necessary to look like we’re successful because we want people to hire us, but... Marsha calls on Brene Brown’s wisdom: when you meet someone, vulnerability is the first thing you look for in them and the last thing you want to show.

Storytelling is a brilliant, low-stakes way to be vulnerable. You need distance to tell the story well. The magic of time and distance makes it ok to share difficult parts of yourself and talk about your feelings.

Successful storytellers don’t rely on facts and opinions but on feelings. What does it take to feel your feelings? Marsha walks us through an exercise that helps you connect to the sensations in the moment and describe them. We touch on the neuroscience of story and

how to create the “Freaky Friday Body Swap” phenomenon.

Want more of Marsha? Say “yes, yes” and visit the super special secret page she created just for the POBScast community: http://www.yesyesmarsha.com/pobs/

OUR SPONSOR

We’re so excited to welcome the latest sponsor to the POBScast family:  MetaFi is a self-awareness app created by therapists that is available FREE on Android and iOS. It is designed to support mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and body awareness. When you tune in and use MetaFi as tool, you can re-establish and strengthen the emotional connection between your mind and body. MetaFi helps you increase awareness of how you show up from moment to moment so you can improve your relationships, productivity, creativity, emotional intelligence, and thinking.

Get started today with your free download: https://www.metafi.me/#meet-metafi

And please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers. Coming up August 13 - 16, 2017: What are the biggest mistakes people make when they tell a story? It’s not “too much detail.” Storytelling Coach Marsha Shandur gives advice about how to be a powerful storyteller - even if you’re a private person or a therapist concerned about disclosing too much.

 

When you meet Marsha in real life, she makes an impression. You always remember what you feel around her (it’s all about grinning and being fabulously real, we find). That phenomenon totally carries over into the POBScast experience.

 

There’s a truth that so many coaches share: When you get very clear on why you are doing what you are doing, everything changes. When you’re in alignment, the universe starts throwing what you need in your path. Marsha tells us about her light bulb moment…

 

For years she thought she was supposed to be using her storytelling coaching skills in order to help nonprofits and other change the world ideas, but then she realized her real mission: she’s going to help us all understand that no one has their SH** together. She lives her message across her online platforms, but particularly in her weekly Facebook thread: “I don’t have it all together Tuesday.” (Follow her personal FB profile to participate - it’s the best!)

 

The experience of selling your personal brand, especially as a coach, means that you need to put out the best version of yourself. It’s necessary to look like we’re successful because we want people to hire us, but... Marsha calls on Brene Brown’s wisdom: when you meet someone, vulnerability is the first thing you look for in them and the last thing you want to show.

 

Storytelling is a brilliant, low-stakes way to be vulnerable. You need distance to tell the story well. The magic of time and distance makes it ok to share difficult parts of yourself and talk about your feelings.

 

Successful storytellers don’t rely on facts and opinions but on feelings. What does it take to feel your feelings? Marsha walks us through an exercise that helps you connect to the sensations in the moment and describe them. We touch on the neuroscience of story and

how to create the “Freaky Friday Body Swap” phenomenon.

 

Want more of Marsha? Say “yes, yes” and visit the super special secret page she created just for the POBScast community: http://www.yesyesmarsha.com/pobs/

 

OUR SPONSOR

 

We’re so excited to welcome the latest sponsor to the POBScast family:  MetaFi is a self-awareness app created by therapists that is available FREE on Android and iOS. It is designed to support mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and body awareness. When you tune in and use MetaFi as tool, you can re-establish and strengthen the emotional connection between your mind and body. MetaFi helps you increase awareness of how you show up from moment to moment so you can improve your relationships, productivity, creativity, emotional intelligence, and thinking.

 

Get started today with your free download: https://www.metafi.me/#meet-metafi

 

And please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers. Coming up August 13 - 16, 2017: (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future at the Menla Mountain Retreat in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains.

For the first time in many months, Marisa and Rebecca recorded a “Just Us” episode. In part, it’s a chance to dive deep into the project that’s front of mind at POBS: the (Re)Vision Retreat for Therapist-Healers that’s coming up this August. It’s also a chance to talk about the evolution of an idea and how it moves from being something you dream about into something you can describe and then birth into the world.

How do you understand your personal and professional brand? We use Rebecca’s evolving vision of “Connectfulness” as a model of a theory and a brand that’s been incubating for a long time and that is emerging in a new way. It’s about living the story before you can tell it. It’s also about becoming the embodiment of the vision. As Marisa says, Rebecca has become Connectfulness in so many ways so the brand melted away into the lived reality. 

Is there a vision or a project that has been living in your heart, your mind, and your body? We talk about brands as the intersection of the personal, the professional, and what your soul is supposed to do in this life.

And we also walk between that dual consciousness that tells you that your idea is brilliant and original and necessary and also leaves room for the fears that the idea is obvious and unnecessary. We dive into the triad of universal wisdom, personal experience, and asking yourself who else needs these insights just as you are ready to present them.

Enduring wisdom is embodied wisdom. You’re called to envision the inspirational space that is Menla Mountain Retreat - the mountains and the compassionate energy of the valley and the deep peace that runs through the land. This place is a living invitation to root into spirit and self and manifest something that will shift the world. 

Learn more about  (Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future, the Practice of Being Retreat for therapist-healers that’s happening August 13 -16. The early bird rate is available through May 31.

Oh, and if you’re curious about your own Myers-Briggs definition of hell, check this out:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/05/the-definition-of-hell-for-each-myers-briggs-personality-type/

In our conversation with Melvin Varghese, the clinician behind the phenomenally successful Selling the Couch podcast, we dive deep into the internal struggles and insecurities that come up for any entrepreneur, especially  psychotherapists in private practice. We talk about the magic that happens when you stand at your growth edge and take a leap despite your fears.

Through his podcast and thriving Facebook community, many people know who Melvin is and they recognize his personal brand. It’s about authenticity and curiosity and compassion.  We’re honored that Melvin was willing to dive deep with us and share some stories he’s never told before including the story of  his family’s emigration and what really inspires him to do this work and take professional risks.

More about our guest: Melvin Varghese, PhD is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Philadelphia, PA where he helps entrepreneurs and basketball players achieve peak mental performance. He’s also the founder of the top ranked Selling The Couch podcast, which helps aspiring and current private practitioners build successful practices, create multiple income streams, and build a business focused on family and self care. In 2015, he founded The Healthcasters, a community for health, wellness, and fitness podcasters.

Learn more about Melvin’s classes, community, and consulting at sellingthecouch.com and find his private practice at http://melvinvarghese.com/

And please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers that is coming up August 13 - 16, 2017.

(Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future will be held at the Menla Mountain Retreat  New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains.

Nam gives us her own definition of the Practice of Being Seen - and we adore it. It’s the confident, solid practice of trusting that whoever you are and whatever part of you shows up. It’s the simple act of existing without apology. 

Throughout the conversation, we celebrate the dance between stories and relationships, especially in the therapy space. According to Nam, therapists are human beings first and they play the part of therapists in certain settings. How many therapists have bought into the myth that they’re neutral, that they’re emotional robots? This conversation is rich with alternative ways of showing up for yourself, as an individual and as a professional.

Rebecca delves into her own experience holding consultation group sessions for therapists: how can we get our clients to talk about their fear of feelings when we’re sometimes afraid of our own? How can therapists show up in their humanity? We talk about the act of self-censoring and how it’s something all of us do - especially as parents.

And we explore the concept of “normal” and how there really are 7 billion definitions of that term. Why isn’t the first question we ask a client “what is ‘normal’ to you”? That question establishes consent, and prevents pathologizing. It gives people permission to open up about who they really are.

We discuss distraction and filtering in our personal lives, and that opens the topic of politics. What does it mean that so many of us have turned down the news now that we’re several months into the “new normal” in the US? We may be numbing out the parts that hurt way too much to stay present. 

This is where Nam lets off the fireworks: “Therapy is a deeply political experience… It’s a constant negotiation between two people trying to figure out how to use, deny, recognize the power in this room, of authority and expertise. In therapy, someone is struggling and someone seems to have their shit together.” Therapy must focus on the personal, but also includes vaster experiences of oppression and marginalization.”When we deny talking about politics as therapists, we are sedating our clients and we are choosing to be sedated ourselves.” Trauma and childhood experiences are deeply important, but it’s important to realize that those experiences are a result of the way those around you have been influenced by their society and politics.

This is what therapy through the restorative justice perspective looks… Couples therapy is understood as a negotiation of power through a lens of oppression and marginalization. You have to understand yourself as someone who has inflicted pain and injustice in order to heal.

Nam Rindani is a licensed marriage/couples and family therapist with an in-person and virtual therapy practice in San Diego. With 14 years of experience as a therapist in India and United States creating leaders out of those who struggle, her work spans working with kids in poverty stricken neighborhoods of India to adults on welfare in the United States. She currently practices in Central San Diego primarily specializing in working with Men as well as Activists and Leaders.. 

Keep the Nam goodness coming - subscribe to her twice-monthly newsletter, Shrinkable:

https://www.soulnarratives.com/newsletter/

Special thanks to this week’s sponsor: Plum Deluxe. When we read the ingredients in this week’s variety, Reading Nook]]>Nam Rindani joins us to talk about storytelling, listening, the therapist-client relationship, politics, restorative justice, and so much more. Much of the conversation focuses on the therapist’s relationship with herself, with her own stories, and with her clients, but everyone interested in understanding the human experience will see themselves in this episode.

Nam gives us her own definition of the Practice of Being Seen - and we adore it. It’s the confident, solid practice of trusting that whoever you are and whatever part of you shows up. It’s the simple act of existing without apology. 

Throughout the conversation, we celebrate the dance between stories and relationships, especially in the therapy space. According to Nam, therapists are human beings first and they play the part of therapists in certain settings. How many therapists have bought into the myth that they’re neutral, that they’re emotional robots? This conversation is rich with alternative ways of showing up for yourself, as an individual and as a professional.

Rebecca delves into her own experience holding consultation group sessions for therapists: how can we get our clients to talk about their fear of feelings when we’re sometimes afraid of our own? How can therapists show up in their humanity? We talk about the act of self-censoring and how it’s something all of us do - especially as parents.

And we explore the concept of “normal” and how there really are 7 billion definitions of that term. Why isn’t the first question we ask a client “what is ‘normal’ to you”? That question establishes consent, and prevents pathologizing. It gives people permission to open up about who they really are.

We discuss distraction and filtering in our personal lives, and that opens the topic of politics. What does it mean that so many of us have turned down the news now that we’re several months into the “new normal” in the US? We may be numbing out the parts that hurt way too much to stay present. 

This is where Nam lets off the fireworks: “Therapy is a deeply political experience… It’s a constant negotiation between two people trying to figure out how to use, deny, recognize the power in this room, of authority and expertise. In therapy, someone is struggling and someone seems to have their shit together.” Therapy must focus on the personal, but also includes vaster experiences of oppression and marginalization.”When we deny talking about politics as therapists, we are sedating our clients and we are choosing to be sedated ourselves.” Trauma and childhood experiences are deeply important, but it’s important to realize that those experiences are a result of the way those around you have been influenced by their society and politics.

This is what therapy through the restorative justice perspective looks… Couples therapy is understood as a negotiation of power through a lens of oppression and marginalization. You have to understand yourself as someone who has inflicted pain and injustice in order to heal.

Nam Rindani is a licensed marriage/couples and family therapist with an in-person and virtual therapy practice in San Diego. With 14 years of experience as a therapist in India and United States creating leaders out of those who struggle, her work spans working with kids in poverty stricken neighborhoods of India to adults on welfare in the United States. She currently practices in Central San Diego primarily specializing in working with Men as well as Activists and Leaders.. 

Keep the Nam goodness coming - subscribe to her twice-monthly newsletter, Shrinkable:

https://www.soulnarratives.com/newsletter/

Special thanks to this week’s sponsor: Plum Deluxe. When we read the ingredients in this week’s variety, Reading Nook Blend, Nam says, “that sounds like a hug in tea cup!” She’s so right!

We invite you to treat yourself to a Plum Deluxe tea of the month subscription for only $10/month. You'll receive a hand blended, all-organic, loose leaf tea thoughtfully chosen for the season.  Tea club members also enjoy special benefits like gift swaps, free shipping on all purchases, and access to a very loving tea community.  A tea subscription also makes a fantastic gift for clients, colleagues, and those you love. Begin your tea adventure: http://plumdeluxe.com/tea?utm_source=beingseen&utm_campaign=podcast&utm_medium=podcast

We talk about how kids “ping” us. They use their trusted parents, their safest place to figure out where they are emotionally. It’s important to try to understand when our kids have lost their bearings because, as Kim says, “I’ve never met a disobedient kid, but I have met a lot of disorientated ones.” Kim encourages us to be inquisitive rather than accusative: “I wonder why you’re so lost” moves us out of the “fight or flight” brain, the amygdala, into wondering and into the “let’s play” and “let’s cooperate” part of the brain.

We talk about what it’s like to watch ourselves at our best and at our worst and acknowledge how hard it can be to see ourselves so clearly. And we dive into a huge stress for for parents: feeling unseen. Eventually, feeling unseen and unappreciated builds up a toxic charge. The antidote: stop trying to make every day “the best.” Instead of the super sized family life where every kid is scheduled to capacity and parents become unpaid Uber drivers, there’s an alternative: hit the pause button.

Kids in the Western world are suffering the same levels of stress as children in war torn areas of the developing world. We live in an undeclared war on childhood and family life. The pace of modern life has outstripped the human body and brain’s ability to keep up. We can’t opt out - we’re opted in by being born at this time. What we can do is be the gatekeepers and make choices that offer alternatives to the new normal.

How many activities, toys, books, and most importantly, screens are in your kids’ lives? Why did Steve Jobs limit his kids’ screen time? Because he and his wife wanted their kids to be innovative and creative, and that’s not possible when you’re immersed in someone else’s innovation and creativity.

The connections they need: nature, friends, family, to the self. All of these things take time, and screens are time bandits. Average 12 year old have 9.25 hours of screens a day. The only place we can control screen time is at home. Some people respond with screens are the “real world” and that keeping kids from screens will set them up for a future addiction and set them too far behind their peers. The message Kim gave his daughters, now teens, was “a screen is a tool.” We talk about the dopamine hits that come from screens and how to “reset the brain” to help kids find pleasure and connection in the offscreen world.

Kim is here to help us avoid burying our children’s soul under a toxic landfill of pop culture. He wants to protect and “cool” family life much like we want to protect our earth and end global warming.

For more about Kim and the Simplicity Parenting Community, please visit http://www.simplicityparenting.com/

Thanks to this week’s sponsor: Plum Deluxe.

Love trying new teas?  Treat yourself to a Plum Deluxe tea of the month subscription for only $10/month. You'll receive a hand blended, all-organic, loose leaf tea thoughtfully chosen for the season.  Tea club members also enjoy special benefits like gift swaps, free shipping on all purchases, and access to a very loving tea community.  A tea subscription also makes a fantastic gift for clients, colleagues, and those you love. Our...]]>Kim John Payne of Simplicity Parenting and writer of the international #1 bestseller of the same name joins us to talk about how “we can be at our best when our kids are at their worst.”

We talk about how kids “ping” us. They use their trusted parents, their safest place to figure out where they are emotionally. It’s important to try to understand when our kids have lost their bearings because, as Kim says, “I’ve never met a disobedient kid, but I have met a lot of disorientated ones.” Kim encourages us to be inquisitive rather than accusative: “I wonder why you’re so lost” moves us out of the “fight or flight” brain, the amygdala, into wondering and into the “let’s play” and “let’s cooperate” part of the brain.

We talk about what it’s like to watch ourselves at our best and at our worst and acknowledge how hard it can be to see ourselves so clearly. And we dive into a huge stress for for parents: feeling unseen. Eventually, feeling unseen and unappreciated builds up a toxic charge. The antidote: stop trying to make every day “the best.” Instead of the super sized family life where every kid is scheduled to capacity and parents become unpaid Uber drivers, there’s an alternative: hit the pause button.

Kids in the Western world are suffering the same levels of stress as children in war torn areas of the developing world. We live in an undeclared war on childhood and family life. The pace of modern life has outstripped the human body and brain’s ability to keep up. We can’t opt out - we’re opted in by being born at this time. What we can do is be the gatekeepers and make choices that offer alternatives to the new normal.

How many activities, toys, books, and most importantly, screens are in your kids’ lives? Why did Steve Jobs limit his kids’ screen time? Because he and his wife wanted their kids to be innovative and creative, and that’s not possible when you’re immersed in someone else’s innovation and creativity.

The connections they need: nature, friends, family, to the self. All of these things take time, and screens are time bandits. Average 12 year old have 9.25 hours of screens a day. The only place we can control screen time is at home. Some people respond with screens are the “real world” and that keeping kids from screens will set them up for a future addiction and set them too far behind their peers. The message Kim gave his daughters, now teens, was “a screen is a tool.” We talk about the dopamine hits that come from screens and how to “reset the brain” to help kids find pleasure and connection in the offscreen world.

Kim is here to help us avoid burying our children’s soul under a toxic landfill of pop culture. He wants to protect and “cool” family life much like we want to protect our earth and end global warming.

For more about Kim and the Simplicity Parenting Community, please visit http://www.simplicityparenting.com/

Thanks to this week’s sponsor: Plum Deluxe.

Love trying new teas?  Treat yourself to a Plum Deluxe tea of the month subscription for only $10/month. You'll receive a hand blended, all-organic, loose leaf tea thoughtfully chosen for the season.  Tea club members also enjoy special benefits like gift swaps, free shipping on all purchases, and access to a very loving tea community.  A tea subscription also makes a fantastic gift for clients, colleagues, and those you love. Our current favorite is Reading Nook Blend! Begin your tea adventure!

And please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers that is coming up August 13 - 16, 2017.

(Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future will be held at the Menla Mountain Retreat  New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains. Take advantage of early bird rates through April 30: practiceofbeingseen.com/revision-2017-retreat

When someone says “I’m failing my children,” it’s almost always because an external party is telling them they’re doing something wrong. The End Parent Shaming philosophy asks us to become aware of how we look at parents, understand that each parent has their own story, and step away from the deeply ingrained human propensity to judge others.

Mercedes introduces us to the idea a “parenting identity” and we talk about how it’s formed. “Shame” is a recurring word in this conversation. Mercedes credits Brene Brown for helping her frame how shame influences parents. There’s the external pressure to fit into boxes in order to look good in the moment rather than to understand one’s own parenting identity. We talk about how family therapist Terry Real’s work reveals that shame and grandiosity share the same energy. Both are reflections of contempt.

We dive into our relationship with technology as parents and as individuals. We talk about the “digital pacifier” and what is it like to parent in the digital age when we don’t have a village to support us. Mercedes challenges us to consider our kneejerk reaction to “technology bad.” Ultimately, it’s about looking at what we’re modeling and how we’re pacifying ourselves.

Mercedes bring us into her own origin story of why she’s passionate about ending parent shaming. She helps us see parents through a different lens so we’re able to understand where they’re coming from. Mercedes doesn’t have children and does not plan to. She does this work because she wants to speak for the children and fully understand their perspective. Drawing on Brene Brown’s use of Teddy Roosevelt speech about the arena. She is in the arena with her parents, but she is wearing a different armor and shield. She stands beside them, dedicated to understanding the perspective of the kids.

We close the conversation by examining what our role is out in the world when we’re bystanders. Helping parents build enough reserves to recover from being shamed. She doesn’t necessarily believe we can be shame-free, but we can be resilient if and when others do judge our parenting.

Mercedes’s brand new book, Shame Proof Parenting that was just launched this week! Get your copy and learn more about her coaching services: https://shameproofparenting.com/

This episode is brought to you by our sponsor Brighter Vision Web Solutions, the worldwide leader in custom therapist website design. For only $59/month, you get a website that’s as unique as your practice, unlimited tech support so you never have to deal with those headaches, and complimentary SEO, so your website can be found by your ideal client through a Google search. POBScast listeners can get one month free. Visit https://www.brightervision.com/try/seen/ and enter the special coupon code: SEEN

And please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers that is coming up August 13 - 16, 2017.

(Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future will be held at the Menla Mountain Retreat  New York’s gorgeous...]]>Mercedes Samudio LCSW is a parent coach who is changing the world with the End Parent Shaming movement. She is on a mission to inspire Shame Proof Parents and counter the way that feedback from other parents, extended family, schools, and organizations so often diminishes a parent’s own inner knowing about their kids.

When someone says “I’m failing my children,” it’s almost always because an external party is telling them they’re doing something wrong. The End Parent Shaming philosophy asks us to become aware of how we look at parents, understand that each parent has their own story, and step away from the deeply ingrained human propensity to judge others.

Mercedes introduces us to the idea a “parenting identity” and we talk about how it’s formed. “Shame” is a recurring word in this conversation. Mercedes credits Brene Brown for helping her frame how shame influences parents. There’s the external pressure to fit into boxes in order to look good in the moment rather than to understand one’s own parenting identity. We talk about how family therapist Terry Real’s work reveals that shame and grandiosity share the same energy. Both are reflections of contempt.

We dive into our relationship with technology as parents and as individuals. We talk about the “digital pacifier” and what is it like to parent in the digital age when we don’t have a village to support us. Mercedes challenges us to consider our kneejerk reaction to “technology bad.” Ultimately, it’s about looking at what we’re modeling and how we’re pacifying ourselves.

Mercedes bring us into her own origin story of why she’s passionate about ending parent shaming. She helps us see parents through a different lens so we’re able to understand where they’re coming from. Mercedes doesn’t have children and does not plan to. She does this work because she wants to speak for the children and fully understand their perspective. Drawing on Brene Brown’s use of Teddy Roosevelt speech about the arena. She is in the arena with her parents, but she is wearing a different armor and shield. She stands beside them, dedicated to understanding the perspective of the kids.

We close the conversation by examining what our role is out in the world when we’re bystanders. Helping parents build enough reserves to recover from being shamed. She doesn’t necessarily believe we can be shame-free, but we can be resilient if and when others do judge our parenting.

Mercedes’s brand new book, Shame Proof Parenting that was just launched this week! Get your copy and learn more about her coaching services: https://shameproofparenting.com/

This episode is brought to you by our sponsor Brighter Vision Web Solutions, the worldwide leader in custom therapist website design. For only $59/month, you get a website that’s as unique as your practice, unlimited tech support so you never have to deal with those headaches, and complimentary SEO, so your website can be found by your ideal client through a Google search. POBScast listeners can get one month free. Visit https://www.brightervision.com/try/seen/ and enter the special coupon code: SEEN

And please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers that is coming up August 13 - 16, 2017.

(Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future will be held at the Menla Mountain Retreat  New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains. Take advantage of early bird rates through April 30: practiceofbeingseen.com/revision-2017-retreat

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We discuss the origin story of Alison’s company, Abundance Practice Building, and what it’s like to create a business that’s one of the loves of your life. Ultimately, it’s about building a business that is structured around the way you want to live.

Have you heard of the “spider web effect”? Allison describes how it plays out for her: she helps someone start or build a practice they love and that gives them the time, energy, and finances to take better care of themselves. In turn, they can do their best clinical work which helps clients and then ripples to all the people in their clients’ lives.

This conversation is about dualities and balance and permission to explore and live out many aspects of your identity. Transformation relies on riding the flow between two poles and allowing yourself to be both when it’s appropriate.

We talk growth edges and the moments when you panic because you’re not growing. Allison hosts a popular Facebook community for therapists and we discuss what it means to hold space for a diverse community when you have people at different stages of entrepreneurial evolution. Comparison and the desire to follow others’ exact path to growth are always a challenge. We also get into Allison’s experience when a troll who infiltrated her community and how it was ultimately an opportunity to build trust and experience growth.

Allison takes us to her current growth edge: allowing more fun. What might happen if you actually gave yourself permission to ask yourself what’s fun based on who you are now and what you need now? Allison describes how she made list of everything she ever found fun in her adult life and another list of what she has found restorative. She also talks about Brene Brown’s “easy buttons” - like having a beer at the end of the day in order to release tension. What’s the difference between fun and restorative and just “easy”?

You can download a free private practice checklist to make sure you have your ducks in a row, get weekly private practice tips, and join the Abundance Practice-Building Group to gain the confidence and tools you need to succeed: https://abundancepracticebuilding.com/

And please note that registration is open for the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers that is coming up August 13 - 16, 2017.

(Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future will be held at the Menla Mountain Retreat  New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains: https://www.practiceofbeingseen.com/revision-2017-retreat

Even if you’re not a student of astrology, you probably know that people groan when they hear Mercury is going retrograde. This conversation helps you understand the power and potential of what is a nurturing, quiet time.

This is time when miscommunication is more likely, when technology is prone to glitches, and travel is more difficult. but it is also a time when we’re invited to slow down and look within. Often, we’re afraid what we might find in those quiet, slow spaces but you’re invited to see these periods as a chance to see what parts of body, mind, and spirit most need our attention.

Keri leads us on an exploration of her “favorite shadows.” As an Intuitive Psychotherapist, Energetic Visionary, and the Founder of the Sacred Soul Circle for Healing Entrepreneurs, Keri is on a mission to help us to remember how to shine a light on the shadows ready for healing within.

We talk about the pursuit of perfection and the nature of power. It’s particularly important to dive into how healers tend to minimize their own power and silence themselves. Weaving through this episode is the theme of permission. We have permission to ebb and flow, to be imperfect, to dance in the light and the shadow.

We wrap up the episode with a special Messages from Shadow reading specifically for this Mercury Retrograde period. For more about Keri’s oracle deck, the new app, her programs and retreats for Light Workers, visit www.kerinola.com.

***

Mercury Retrograde is a time of “re”…Words like return, revisit, remember, re-energize are key during this period. This energy guides the Practice of Being Seen Retreat for Therapist-Healers that is coming up during the next Mercury Retrograde period, August 13 - 16, 2017.

(Re)Vision: Explore Your Stories, Shape Your Future has been designed to hold you through this period of reflection and preparation for the next phase of growth. Learn more and plan to join us in New York’s gorgeous Catskill Mountains: https://www.practiceofbeingseen.com/revision-2017-retreat

Simon Sinek is famous for asking “What’s your ‘why’?” Soness helps us see that you have to go beyond that in order to create and deliver a successful TED talk. You need to drill down to the universal truth. Soness shares how the “Wisdom of the Five Whys” is a great place to start.

“Speaking is healing because you’re listening,” says Soness. We explore reciprocity and the powerful interplay between speaker and audience. A presentation is about being present in that moment. The best TED speakers have rehearsed over 200 times so they can be truly present and truly connect in a mindful, compassionate way that becomes an example of love in action.

Successful communication and meaningful connection rely on understanding that people will listen once they feel they have been heard. We also explore how communication begins within and how it’s the internalized voices of our caregivers that influence that inner monologue.

Soness shares how growing up with a mother who suffered from mental illness crafted who she was as a speaker and as a listener. And we go deeper… Soness helps us understand how presenting her own TED talk created a beautiful opening with her own mom and how it created ripples of communication and connection well after she left the stage.

“Speaking is healing” helps open up this conversation for everyone - even those who are not focused on applying to TEDx right now.

Learn more about Soness’s Step on the Red Dot program at http://www.yourspeakingjourney.com/. She invites you to email her about your interest in this intensive speaker’s training program: soness@yourspeakingjourney.com

Have you ever felt heard? https://youtu.be/m_JbDMrP4UY and that talk about the rice cooker: https://youtu.be/xkEIeCKh3X8

Amy gathers women together for their sacred work. She is a portal for them to remember who they are and who they have always been. Her own path of awakening includes Qoya and Tantra, both of which she describes in depth during the episode.

There’s so much to explore in the interplay between the sacred masculine and divine feminine. Amy sheds some light on the “diminished masculine” and describes it as walking through the shadow of shame and hustling for worthiness the swampland of the soul. (Yeah. Wow.)

And then there’s the vision of the wolf. Amy shares with us the messenger who and gave her an understanding of the divine masculine that helped her understand she herself had been in the living through the diminished masculine. Once she experienced this opening, she understood how to access the divine feminine within.

Moving out of fear and into sacred rebellion relies on embodied practices including Qoya, a movement practice that combines free movement, sensual movement, and dancing your yoga as prayer. “Through movement,” says Amy, “we women remember we are wise, wild, and free.”

There’s also Tantra, which Amy describes not as a sexual practice, but a way to “become your own source for Source.” It’s her hope that women wake up through Qoya, and use tantric practices to become unblocked so they can become sacred rebels. These practices create sacred union, combining sacred feminine and masculine.

More about Amy:

Amy Tatsumi is a healer, teacher, and guide and has worked with over 10,000 clients during the past 15 years. She blends her experience as an art psychotherapist, The Daring Way Consultant, Qoya teacher, tantric coach, and retreat guide to support women in knowing, trusting and growing their gifts in their life, work, and relationships. In 2017, Amy is gathering women in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains, Mount Shasta, California, and Aso, Japan for sacred retreats.

Learn more about her retreats at http://www.amytatsumi.com/retreats/ and her Washington DC based private practice: http://yoursoultherapy.com/

“Being real” with clients in a healing environment is one thing, but what does it mean to bring  who you really are to the greater, public online space? Figs helps us understand that this isn’t a modern, online phenomenon: we all take these risks in our relationships when we ask others to really see who we are.

Couples therapy helps individuals see and understand that they both play a role in the relationship story. Together, they can begin to create a new narrative of love and belonging.

All relationships are on a continuum and we move between moments of connection and disconnection and we spend much of our time in the messy middle. Through experiences of disconnecting and reconnecting, you start to see that you fight because you mean so much to each other. The magic is in the repair, not in making sure you never fight.

This is especially important for parents… What would it mean for your children to see you go from fighting to being sad to comforting each other to reconnecting each other? What an amazing way to prepare your children to have a healthy emotional life.

Figs shares insights he’s gained through marriage and parenting, through poetry (you must hear him recite David Whyte’s poem “Self Portrait”), and by tuning into what really ticks him off… like people who chose “neutrality” over authenticity. We need stillness, not silence. We need people to trust to hold their stories. We build that trust when we’re able to honestly reveal what we stand for.

Much of the conversation is focused on the marriage and the family, but then we look to the wider stage… How are the disconnects at the larger political level starting to influence couples? How can the work we do on our own relationships affect the wider world?

We explore three main archetypes that are emerging in response to the current political climate:  

• Bridge builders who help people with different perspectives connect so they understand that both perspectives make sense
• Fierce warriors ready to name injustice from whatever their perspective on what they think is right
• Helpers are those who will be there to care for those who are suffering

Learn more about Figs' counseling and coaching practice at www.therapywithfigs.com and read his personal writing at https://medium.com/@figlet

Figs is creating a new resource called Empathi.com - an online process that introduces individuals and couples to the wisdom of attachment. It’s possible to change the world by helping individuals have empathy for themselves,the people they love, and everyone they meet.

To begin, Maya reads Finding the New Normal in Our Post-Election World which she wrote in mid-November and published on our site on inauguration day. Our conversation focuses the process of writing, editing, publishing, and watching a personal story create ripples far beyond your own memories and lived experience.

The writing process is meant to give back to you. To write into an election response or to any event your find confusing or traumatic would be cathartic, but to move into publishing a piece and then sharing it with family, friends, and a wider audience?  That is where you step from “just writing” into being a storyteller who engages an audience and sparks new conversations.

Telling these personal stories is hard for everyone, but especially for psychotherapists who are concerned about sharing details of their own lives with their clients. “It’s simpler if I don’t show this part of me” is a common refrain for clinicians. It’s often an attempt to make things simple, safe, and easier to control. We don’t live in that kind of world right now. The new normal is that there is no normal, which highlights that the nature of life is change and transformation.

So much of this conversation with Maya focuses on the embodiment of wisdom: how do we experience trauma and the beauty of flow and creativity in our bodies? Because Maya is a music therapist, we also tune into how music therapy helps people understand themselves and their stories in the way they experience and create sound.

This is an invitation to tune into the ideas, feelings, and parts of the body that are asking you to notice them. When you see yourself, you’re able to see our changing society and make connections that will continue to value our shared humanity.

Read Maya’s post: https://www.practiceofbeingseen.com/blog/finding-the-new-normal-in-our-post-election-world

To access the guided relaxation recording that Maya offers her community, please visit:http://mayabenattar.com/guided-relaxation

Therapists: You want to explore your unique vision, connect with clients and with yourself, and hone your message. Our unique virtual community is what you’ve been looking for. Learn more and apply to join:

https://www.practiceofbeingseen.com/community-for-therapists/

In our conversation with Eva, we talk about the writing and editing process and how it’s deepened by sharing it with a group. The TMI process invites people to explore and tell versions of vulnerable stories and to get the support from facilitators to make it a powerful, captivating story that will speak to the audience’s collective heart.  We explore how TMI creates a special container that’s unique and and that telling such revealing stories isn’t for everyone in all venues.

“Relationships shape stories and stories shape relationships” is part of the POBScast’s guiding vision. That becomes crystal clear as Eva helps us see how participants relationships are often transformed when these shared stories are told. And, Eva describes how writing and sharing her own monologues changed her own relationships, specifically with her own mother. The roots of the TMI program clearly come from Eva’s own life and she talks about how traumatic experiences as an adolescent, her struggle with addiction, her recovery process, and her passion for theater all combine to create this tremendous organization.

Activism is key to the TMI platform and that means shining a spotlight on the stories that rarely get told and heard. The Black Stories Matter program will culminate in at least one performance on March 25th 2017 in Kingston, NY. Eva talks about how our inherently segregated communities often keeps us from hearing each other and how carefully considered projects like this one aim to help us listen to understand (not just respond).

Truth telling can be contagious. When someone has the courage to tell a story long kept secret, others feel they have permission to share their own stories.

Watch performances and learn about TMI’s events and programs, including their new adventures in podcasting: http://www.tmiproject.org/

Eva talked about the difficult  process of publishing a personal story. Read it here: https://longreads.com/2017/01/31/feeling-unsafe-at-every-size/

What if distractions are the opportunity to strengthen the muscles of our attention? Painful moments can become moments of awakening that remind us to tune into our humanity.

We talk about the reality of our online lives and how to nurture and build relationships in real life and in digital spaces. Often, it’s about coming back to “the basics” - which is hard because humans are natural “complexifiers.”

Sharon shares her own stories of how her tribal and familial legacy might have set her up for a lifetime of anxiety. Instead, she chose the path of healing and self growth that led her to become a wellness practitioner, spiritual healer, and mindfulness teacher.

The Mystery plays a keys part in Sharon’s life and approach to healing. The greatest power comes from the “don’t know” mind.  Integrating many wisdom traditions in her work, Sharon also shares with us a Zen teaching story and a lovingkindness meditation.

In this wide-ranging conversation that pulls in the wisdom of Victor Frankl, St. Augustine. and the Facebook feed, we have a chance to connect like old friends reminding one another “don’t forget to remember that you know what you know.”

Learn more about Sharon’s Hudson Valley based healing practice and how you can experience her Non-Dual Kabbalistic Healing work via phone. You can also find her book  Crazy World, Peaceful Heart at http://www.heartofselfcare.com/

Leia wasn’t just a princess. She was also a hero. Her multifaceted identity speaks right to our desire to save others and even as we want to be saved. We have permission to be both and we have permission to be walking contradictions. We have permission to be both loving mothers and “nasty women.”

This conversation between Marisa and Rebecca dives into human development and how this parallels recent developments in the US. We call on everyone from Ani Difranco to Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Martin Luther King to John Lewis to help us understand our desire to resist and be part of the impassioned, nonviolent resistance.

We know that relationships are a key aspect of the Practice of Being Seen so we asked KC for his ideas and insights about relationships. Listen in as KC discusses how people are drawn to those who will share the messy, uncomfortable parts of their lives. They need to see that humanness in order to make a connection.

A strong meditation practice is fundamental to KC’s personal and professional success.

We talked about how sobriety plays a key role in KC’s life. You can learn more about his program, New Sobriety, to help you shift e your relationship with “the drinks”: http://www.thisepiclife.com/the-new-sobriety-join-us-today/

When we explored how the KC’s devotion to meditation and spiritual development influenced his life, he says: “The loneliness of the spiritual path becomes a razor’s edge. The slightest wind can take you off. It’s a brutal fall and a long climb back up.” And he talked about how relationships support you when you’re on the razor’s edge. Relationships are responsible for everything including what resources are available and what resistance you encounter.

KC also describes the first among his spiritual principles: “don’t try to convert the people around you.” And yet, in subtle ways, you help one another soften all the edges. Influence doesn’t happen when you’re trying to be too overt about it.

When it comes to the meditative practice, KC says Meditation helps you “discerning between the signal inside yourself and giving into the static.”

The reality of meditation is that you start with a messy, failure ridden process. You need to just start with five minutes of clearing your mind. Visit www.thisepiclife.com/30 to get help launching your daily 15-minutes per day practice.

KC merges his depth of business experience with his spiritual work, improving workplace culture and introducing mediation to the office.

When it comes to succeeding at entrepreneurship and any other task worth doing: “It’s about the long game… it’s not about the next webinar and the next speedy step. People who have attained mastery have been doing it for 10 - 20 years.”

KC paraphrased Jon Acuff’s Wisdom 2.0 speech: “being brave feels like being scared sh*tless.”

The “lens statement” is very important to KC and he talked about how his own lens statement has evolved over time. “We live in a dynamic universe and things require upgrading. That’s why businesses also require upgraded mission statements.”

His advice: “Check in with your lens statement once a day. It becomes very clear when you’re not in alignment with it.”

KC left us with some big ideas about how important anchoring into yourself is in this unsettled time. And gave us some ideas around reframing failure and the willingness to publicly fail and the practice of being seen. We all have a fundamental need to be seen and heard. If we’re passionately pissed off about something, it’s because we feel like we’re not being seen and heard.

KC dives right in and talks about how we tend to equate materialistic values with being seen or “making a splash.” In reality, “what people really need is to see your heart and to show that you care, to look them deeply in the eyes, to pause, and to make time.”

KC also shares the current dragon on his path: impatience. He also describes how he sees this as part part of being a “white, entitled American male.” We love how KC is willing to talk about something that’s so much a part of the contemporary]]>In this conversation with dad, yogi, meditation teacher, and entrepreneur KC Carter, you get spiritual truths, self-deprecating humor, brilliant social and political insights, and lines like: We’re all pieces of jagged glass in a turbulent sea and we’re all just trying to end up with some beautiful piece of seaglass eventually.

We know that relationships are a key aspect of the Practice of Being Seen so we asked KC for his ideas and insights about relationships. Listen in as KC discusses how people are drawn to those who will share the messy, uncomfortable parts of their lives. They need to see that humanness in order to make a connection.

A strong meditation practice is fundamental to KC’s personal and professional success.

We talked about how sobriety plays a key role in KC’s life. You can learn more about his program, New Sobriety, to help you shift e your relationship with “the drinks”: http://www.thisepiclife.com/the-new-sobriety-join-us-today/

When we explored how the KC’s devotion to meditation and spiritual development influenced his life, he says: “The loneliness of the spiritual path becomes a razor’s edge. The slightest wind can take you off. It’s a brutal fall and a long climb back up.” And he talked about how relationships support you when you’re on the razor’s edge. Relationships are responsible for everything including what resources are available and what resistance you encounter.

KC also describes the first among his spiritual principles: “don’t try to convert the people around you.” And yet, in subtle ways, you help one another soften all the edges. Influence doesn’t happen when you’re trying to be too overt about it.

When it comes to the meditative practice, KC says Meditation helps you “discerning between the signal inside yourself and giving into the static.”

The reality of meditation is that you start with a messy, failure ridden process. You need to just start with five minutes of clearing your mind. Visit www.thisepiclife.com/30 to get help launching your daily 15-minutes per day practice.

KC merges his depth of business experience with his spiritual work, improving workplace culture and introducing mediation to the office.

When it comes to succeeding at entrepreneurship and any other task worth doing: “It’s about the long game… it’s not about the next webinar and the next speedy step. People who have attained mastery have been doing it for 10 - 20 years.”

KC paraphrased Jon Acuff’s Wisdom 2.0 speech: “being brave feels like being scared sh*tless.”

The “lens statement” is very important to KC and he talked about how his own lens statement has evolved over time. “We live in a dynamic universe and things require upgrading. That’s why businesses also require upgraded mission statements.”

His advice: “Check in with your lens statement once a day. It becomes very clear when you’re not in alignment with it.”

KC left us with some big ideas about how important anchoring into yourself is in this unsettled time. And gave us some ideas around reframing failure and the willingness to publicly fail and the practice of being seen. We all have a fundamental need to be seen and heard. If we’re passionately pissed off about something, it’s because we feel like we’re not being seen and heard.

KC dives right in and talks about how we tend to equate materialistic values with being seen or “making a splash.” In reality, “what people really need is to see your heart and to show that you care, to look them deeply in the eyes, to pause, and to make time.”

KC also shares the current dragon on his path: impatience. He also describes how he sees this as part part of being a “white, entitled American male.” We love how KC is willing to talk about something that’s so much a part of the contemporary experience: privilege.

And yes, this episode closes with KC chanting the Romper Room finale because it means so much to really be seen in the Magic Mirror.

Official Bio:

Kristoffer Carter (“KC”) inspires individuals and organizations to thrive in the face of relentless change. He has been featured in Business Insider, onstage at Wisdom 2.0 and for many Good Life Project events.

A devout Kriyaban Yogi with Self-Realization Fellowship, KC is a disciple of guru Paramahansa Yogananda, author of the spiritual classic Autobiography of a Yogi. KC is passionate about creating the transformative habit of meditation through daily practice. Join his online community of thousands, and access free trainings and guided meditations at www.kristoffercarter.org

He lives in Akron, OH with his wife and three children, where they dream of one day flying in a blimp.

Fighting actually enables people to show one another that they matter. You can learn how to fight well and how to create a container of belonging in your partnership. In the face of disagreements, you can create a practice of commitment that enables you to tolerate occasional divisions.

Much of this conversation is about marriage and romantic relationships, but it will shed some light on all of your relationships as we discuss mirror neurons, the power of eye contact, and reading nonverbal cues. And, you’ll learn why it’s great news that 69% of the conflicts in your relationship are unresolvable.