Reclaiming Me: Heal Your Childhood Attachment Wounds, People Pleasing, and Complex PTSD for Women

E115: Why “Keeping the Family Peace” Can Reinforce Trauma Responses and People Pleasing

Wed, 13 May 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever questioned your own memories just to keep a family relationship intact?

In this Mini Midweek Reframe episode, Cindy Payne explores the painful intersection of trauma, people pleasing, attachment wounds, and family estrangement through the lens of Noah Kahan’s “Willing and Able.” When dysfunctional family systems pressure you to deny your reality for the sake of connection, it can leave you trapped between loyalty and self-abandonment.

You'll discover:

Why losing the “witness” in sibling or family estrangement can trigger deep attachment wounds
How trauma and people pleasing patterns keep you tied to unhealthy relational dynamics
A practical values-based grounding tool to help you stay connected to your truth without self-betrayal

Listen now to learn how to stop abandoning yourself for attachment, reclaim your reality, and navigate family estrangement with greater clarity and integrity.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

This podcast supports women healing trauma, attachment wounds, codependency, anxiety, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, and rebuilding self-worth, self-trust, boundaries, and confidence through trauma-informed guidance.

Through honest, grounded conversations, it explores the real human experience of growth and leadership, the tension between purpose and rest, boundaries and connection, and how choosing awareness and compassion creates a more aligned and authentic life.

E114: The Hidden Link Between Trauma, People Pleasing & Family Estrangement

Mon, 11 May 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever wondered why the sibling who shared your childhood can feel impossible to truly connect with as an adult?

In this deeply personal episode of Reclaiming Me, Cindy Payne unpacks the hidden damage emotionally immature parenting can create between siblings. Using Noah Kahan’s song Willing and Able as the emotional backdrop, she explores how toxic family roles, triangulation, and unresolved childhood trauma can quietly shape adult relationships, boundaries, grief, and identity.

You'll discover:

How emotionally immature family systems create competition instead of connection between siblings.

How triangulation and the “childhood lie” keep dysfunctional family dynamics alive well into adulthood.

Practical healing tools, including boundaries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) work, and resources for navigating sibling estrangement and complicated grief.

Press play to better understand the hidden family dynamics affecting your relationships and start reclaiming your peace, boundaries, and emotional freedom.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E113: From “Staying Still” to Speaking Up: Trauma, Attachment & People Pleasing

Wed, 06 May 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if every time you say “nevermind,” you’re actually abandoning yourself?

Many high-functioning trauma survivors pride themselves on being “easygoing,” taking the high road, and keeping the peace—but underneath that is a pattern of dismissing their own pain to protect others. This episode unpacks the hidden cost of the “Nevermind Trap” and why what feels like strength may actually be self-erasure.

You'll discover:

How the “nevermind” response shows up as a trauma-based freeze pattern
Why taking the high road can lead to emotional self-abandonment
A simple, practical tool (“the actually it matters” pause) to reclaim your voice in real time

Press play to learn how to stop silencing yourself in the moment—and start responding in a way that honors your truth without overwhelm.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E112: Why Noah Kahan’s song “Staying Still” Hits So Hard: CPTSD and Functional Freeze

Mon, 04 May 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the reason you feel stuck isn’t failure—but your nervous system trying to protect you?

As the world speeds up with new seasons and fresh starts, many trauma survivors feel left behind—caught in a quiet, invisible state of “functional freeze.” This episode breaks down how staying still can feel like paralysis, even when you’re doing everything “right,” and why that stuckness often traces back to deeper emotional survival patterns.

You'll discover:

How functional freeze and depersonalization show up in your daily life
Why fawning, “nevermind” responses, and over-functioning keep you stuck
How to reconnect with your thinking brain to set boundaries and move forward

Press play to uncover why your stuckness makes sense—and how to finally move forward without abandoning yourself.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E111: I Almost Took Responsibility for Someone Else’s Mistake (Trauma & People Pleasing)

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever felt an instant urge to fix someone else’s problem—even when it was never yours to carry in the first place?

In this midweek reframe, a simple moment unfolds—a young adult makes a mistake, a ticket is given, and suddenly the internal pull to fix, rescue, or absorb the emotional fallout kicks in. But underneath that reaction is something deeper: trauma-based attachment patterns and people-pleasing wiring that makes other people’s discomfort feel like your responsibility.

You'll discover:

Why your nervous system treats other people’s mistakes as something you must fix or manage
How attachment trauma fuels the “fix-it” reflex and emotional over-responsibility
How to stay grounded in moments of discomfort without absorbing or rescuing other people’s emotions

Press play to learn how to recognize—and gently interrupt—the trauma response that keeps you stuck in people-pleasing and emotional over-functioning.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E110: The Unspoken Contract That Makes You Responsible for Everyone’s Emotions (Trauma, Attachment & People Pleasing)

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the pressure you feel to keep everyone else happy… was never actually your responsibility?

If you constantly monitor other people’s moods—your partner’s stress, your child’s meltdowns, your friend’s silence—you might believe it’s your job to fix it all. But this episode reveals how that exhausting pattern isn’t who you are—it’s survival wiring shaped by your past. And the cost? Carrying emotional weight that was never yours to hold.

You'll discover:

The hidden pattern of “false responsibility” and why it keeps you stuck in emotional overdrive
How childhood experiences wire you to manage others’ emotions—and how to gently unwind that pattern
Practical, real-time tools to create space between what you feel and what you take on

Press play now to learn how to release the emotional weight you were never meant to carry—and finally feel at peace in your own inner world.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E109: Vulnerability Hangover After Therapy: Trauma, Attachment & People Pleasing

Wed, 22 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever left therapy feeling exposed—and then immediately regretted everything you said?

If you’re a people pleaser or navigating CPTSD, opening up in therapy can feel like a risk instead of relief. You finally show your authentic self, only to be hit with anxiety, self-doubt, and the urge to “fix” what you shared. This episode dives into why that reaction happens—and how to work with your nervous system instead of against it so you can actually benefit from the healing process.

You'll discover:

Why the “vulnerability hangover” happens and what your brain is trying to protect you from
Simple, practical ways to stay grounded after opening up instead of spiraling into regret
The ability to show up authentically in therapy (and life) without fearing disconnection

Press play to learn how to move through the discomfort of vulnerability so you can finally feel safe being seen and start experiencing deeper, more meaningful healing.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E108: The “Good Client” Trap: How Trauma and Attachment Keep You Performing

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Are you doing everything “right” in therapy… but still feel unseen, disconnected, or stuck?

If you’re someone who is self-aware, insightful, and committed to growth, it can be incredibly frustrating to still feel like you’re not actually healing. This episode speaks directly to the hidden pattern of “performing wellness”—when your intellect and self-awareness become a mask that keeps you safe, but also keeps you from truly being known, felt, and supported.

You'll discover:

Why being highly self-aware can still leave you stuck in cycles of disconnection
How to shift from intellectualizing your pain to actually experiencing safety and healing in real time
What true therapeutic fit looks like so you can stop performing and start being fully seen

Press play to learn how to stop auditioning for safety and finally experience what real, embodied healing feels like.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E107: The Strange Reason Growth Feels Like Guilt When You Heal Trauma

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the guilt you feel while setting boundaries isn’t a sign you’re doing something wrong—but a sign you’re finally changing?

If you’ve ever started honoring your needs only to feel overwhelmed by guilt or shame, this episode breaks down why that happens—especially for those with a history of people pleasing, fawning, or complex trauma. You’ll learn how your brain confuses growth with danger and why these emotions tend to spike right when you begin choosing yourself.

You'll discover:

The difference between guilt and shame and how each impacts your nervous system
How to identify “unearned guilt” and why it shows up during identity shifts
A powerful mental reframe to help you move forward without abandoning yourself

Press play to learn how to stop letting guilt define your identity and start using it as a signal that you’re growing into your authentic self.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E106: Is Your Identity Built on Trauma, CPTSD & Attachment Patterns?

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the version of you that feels “off” right now was never truly you—but a version built to survive?

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from who you are—especially during a major life transition—you’re not alone. For those navigating complex trauma, identity isn’t just something that evolves naturally; it’s often shaped by survival, relationships, and the need to stay safe. This episode speaks directly to that quiet, unsettling feeling that something no longer fits—and helps you make sense of why.

You'll discover:

Why your identity may feel confusing or fragmented—and why that’s actually part of the healing process
How survival responses like fawning can shape your sense of self without defining your core identity
How to begin rebuilding your identity based on your values instead of past conditioning

Press play to start reconnecting with your true self and learn how to rebuild an identity that finally feels like yours.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E105: How “Pleading the Fifth” Can Break Trauma-Driven Overthinking & Anxiety Loops

Wed, 08 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if your anxiety, overthinking, and “falling apart” moments are actually the blueprint for the life you’ve been trying to build?

If you’ve been stuck in a cycle of constant doing—checking boxes, staying busy, and holding it all together on the outside while feeling overwhelmed on the inside—this episode speaks directly to you. So many high achievers mistake performance for progress, using busyness as a shield against anxiety. But real growth doesn’t come from pushing harder—it comes from learning how to pause, sit with uncertainty, and rebuild from a place of honesty instead of pressure.

You'll discover:

A powerful mental tool to stop spiraling thoughts without needing immediate answers
A reframe for burnout and breakdowns as necessary steps toward building a more aligned life
How small, intentional wins can help regulate your nervous system and restore a sense of safety

Press play now to learn how to stop just moving through your life and start truly living it—one grounded, intentional step at a time.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E104: From Mental “Prison” to Peace: Rewiring the Brain After Trauma

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Do you ever feel like your mind has no "off" switch? Like you’re perfectly composed on the outside, but wrestling with an internal storm of overthinking, pressure, or intrusive thoughts? You are not alone. Today, we’re diving into the reality of living with "invisible" challenges and how to transform that internal prison into a life of creative freedom.

In this episode, Cindy sits down with artist and creative mentor Sarah Edwards. Sarah’s journey began with a premature birth that led to physical limitations and early childhood bullying—challenges that eventually evolved into a high-pressure career on Wall Street and a battle with undiagnosed OCD.

Sarah opens up about the "prison mentality" of intrusive thoughts, the exhaustion of masking anxiety behind professional success, and the breaking point that finally forced her to rebuild her life "down to the studs."

You’ll discover:

A powerful cognitive tool for navigating intrusive thoughts and reclaiming your mental space.
How questioning the "system" and refusing low expectations can open a new path forward.
Why strategic intention in your daily routine is the secret to moving out of burnout.
How translating your world through art can rewire your nervous system for safety and success.

Connect with Sarah:

Website: Set Apart Company — Shop Sarah’s art, including her famous glass cutting boards.

Instagram: @setapart_company — Reach out to Sarah directly; her DMs are always open.

Podcast: The Creative Clarity Show

Work with Sarah: Explore the Creative Catalyst Academy for creative entrepreneurship and nervous system support.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E103: CPTSD & Perfectionism: The Missing Piece in Self-Care — A Midweek Reframe

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the reason you’re avoiding self-care isn’t laziness—but the pressure to do it perfectly?

If you’ve ever felt stuck between needing rest and feeling like you have to “earn” it or do it the “right” way, this episode will resonate deeply. For those navigating trauma and perfectionism, self-care can feel overwhelming, rigid, or even unsafe. This conversation reframes self-care into something approachable, flexible, and actually supportive of your nervous system—no perfection required.

You'll discover:

How small, imperfect self-care actions can help regulate your nervous system and create a sense of safety
A new “menu-based” approach to self-care that removes pressure and increases flexibility
How to break free from perfectionism so you can finally rest, recharge, and reconnect with yourself

Press play to discover how embracing “any care over no care” can transform your healing and help you feel safe in your own body again.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E102: Why Traditional Self-Care Fails for CPTSD, Trauma & People Pleasers

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the self-care you’ve been relying on is actually keeping you stuck in exhaustion?

If you’re someone who is disciplined, driven, and used to pushing through, self-care can feel frustratingly ineffective. You check all the boxes—exercise, routines, “me time”—yet your body still feels depleted. This episode unpacks why that happens, especially for those navigating complex PTSD, and reveals how traditional self-care advice often ignores what your nervous system actually needs to feel safe and restored.

You'll discover:

Why perfectionism keeps your body locked in a constant stress response
Why common self-care practices may leave you feeling more drained instead of relaxed
A new, flexible approach to self-care that helps your body truly downshift into safety and healing

Press play to discover how to redefine self-care in a way that finally helps your body relax, restore, and feel safe again.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E101: Why Overfunctioning Won’t Protect You from Grief—and What Actually Works

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Are you unknowingly over-functioning just to avoid feeling grief during life’s biggest transitions?

When life shifts—whether it’s empty nesting, career changes, or evolving relationships—it’s natural to crave certainty. But for many, especially those navigating CPTSD patterns, that desire can turn into over-functioning: doing more, controlling more, and staying constantly “on” just to feel safe. This episode speaks directly to that experience, helping you recognize how these patterns show up and why they may be keeping you stuck instead of supported.

You'll discover:

how over-functioning operates as a nervous system response—not a personal failure
a simple, in-the-moment somatic practice to reduce tension and reconnect with safety
clarity on how to gently process grief instead of avoiding it through control

Press play now to learn how to soften your nervous system, release the need for certainty, and begin reclaiming your inner sense of safety—one small moment at a time.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E100: From People-Pleaser to Whole Self: Lessons on Trauma and Attachment After 100 Episodes

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever felt weighed down by grief, perfectionism, or expectations that were never really yours to carry?

In this milestone 100th episode of Reclaiming Me, Cindy Payne shares a deeply personal journey of grief, healing, and transformation. She reflects on loss, CPTSD, and the evolution of self over decades, inviting listeners to explore their own stories and reclaim the parts of themselves that have been buried or overlooked.

You'll discover how to:

Recognize grief as a natural and vital part of healing, rather than a sign of being “stuck.”
Let go of shame, expectations, and burdens that don’t belong to you.
Reclaim your sense of self through small, intentional daily choices that honor your needs and feelings.

Press play to join Cindy in this reflective, heartfelt episode and take the first step toward reclaiming your energy, your voice, and your peace.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E99: Midlife Healing > Reinvention: Overcome People-Pleasing

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the habits that helped you succeed for decades are the very ones holding you back in midlife?

Many women reach midlife feeling exhausted, disconnected, or unsure of who they are outside the roles they’ve always played. The patterns that once helped you stay safe, responsible, and accepted—like people-pleasing, perfectionism, and constant busyness—can suddenly stop working. In this midweek reframe, we slow down and explore why this shift happens and how midlife can become the beginning of a more honest and compassionate relationship with yourself.

You'll discover:

Understand why people-pleasing, perfectionism, and hyper-independence often develop as survival strategies rooted in trauma and attachment patterns.
Learn why midlife commonly brings an “unraveling” of long-held roles and identities—and why that’s a sign of awareness, not failure.
Discover simple micro-practices that help rebuild trust with yourself without needing to dramatically reinvent your life.

Press play to explore how small, compassionate shifts can help you release old survival patterns and begin creating a more authentic next chapter in midlife.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E98: Reclaiming Your Spark: Healing Trauma and People-Pleasing in Midlife

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What happens when the strategies that once worked in your life suddenly stop working in midlife?

Many women reach midlife feeling exhausted, disconnected, or stuck—especially if they’ve spent years people-pleasing, striving for perfection, or putting everyone else’s needs first. The habits that once helped you feel safe, loved, or successful can begin to feel heavy and unsustainable.

In this episode, Cindy sits down with Heike Yates, a midlife fitness expert, author, and creator of the SPARK Framework. With more than 35 years of experience in fitness, nutrition, and mindset coaching, Heike helps women navigate the season when routines feel harder, identities begin to shift, and the question becomes: Who am I now—and what do I actually want?

Together, they explore how midlife can be disorienting, how people-pleasing and perfectionism often show up in our health habits, and how women can begin rebuilding self-trust with small, realistic steps.

You'll discover:

Why midlife often triggers identity shifts—and how to move through them without feeling like you’re starting over
How perfectionism and people-pleasing quietly influence our relationship with fitness, health, and self-care
Simple ways to rebuild trust with your body and rediscover what truly sparks joy and curiosity again
Why “good enough” self-care may be exactly what your nervous system and body need right now
How movement, breath, and small daily practices can help women reconnect with themselves in a compassionate way

About the Guest

Heike Yates is a Midlife Fitness Expert, speaker, podcast host, and author of Pursue Your Spark. She helps midlife women navigate seasons when what used to work no longer fits—rebuilding strength, energy, and confidence with practical fitness, nutrition, and mindset strategies designed for real life.

With over 35 years of experience and certifications in personal training, Pilates, nutrition, and running coaching, Heike blends science and lived experience to help women rebuild self-trust and move forward without guilt, extremes, or the pressure to start over.

She is also the host of the Pursue Your Spark Podcast, where she shares honest conversations and actionable steps for navigating midlife with strength and curiosity.

Connect with Heike

Website: https://heikeyates.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heikeyates/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pursueyourspark
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heike-yates/
Substack: https://substack.com/@heikeyates
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQIeOesGLGAOD5RhI2KYjcA
Podcast: Pursue Your Spark Podcast
Book: Pursue Your Spark

Press play now to discover how small, compassionate shifts can help you reconnect with your strength, rebuild self-trust, and rediscover your spark in midlife. ✨

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E97: Why Trauma Turned You Into a People Pleaser (And How Courage Breaks the Cycle)

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you noticed the small moments this week where you chose courage—even while fear and anxiety were present?

For many women with CPTSD, anxiety and shame can feel like constant companions. Your nervous system may have learned early that staying quiet, invisible, or agreeable was the safest option. But what if the path toward healing isn’t about eliminating fear altogether—what if it’s about recognizing the small, brave choices you’re already making? In this short midweek reflection episode, we explore how noticing tiny acts of courage can begin to interrupt shame-driven anxiety and gently retrain your nervous system to feel safer expressing your needs.

You'll discover:

How small acts of courage can disrupt the anxiety and shame cycle common in CPTSD.
A simple reflection exercise to help you recognize and honor your brave moments from the week.
How courage—even when fear is still present—can slowly retrain your nervous system toward safety and self-trust.

Press play to reflect on your week and uncover the quiet moments where you chose courage over fear—because those moments may be the key to lasting healing. 💛

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E96: The Hidden Shame Driving Your Anxiety and People Pleasing: Trauma, Attachment Wounds, and the Fear of Being Exposed

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever spiraled for hours over a small mistake — not because of what happened, but because of what it might mean about you?

If you’re a woman living with CPTSD, anxiety can feel constant, unpredictable, and exhausting. You replay conversations, overthink texts, panic after speaking up — even when nothing “bad” actually happens. But what if your anxiety isn’t random? What if it’s not a flaw in your coping skills, but a survival strategy your nervous system built to protect you from shame, rejection, or exposure?

In this episode, we move beyond symptom management and explore the deeper relational roots of anxiety — especially how identity-level shame, as described by researchers like Brené Brown, June Tangney, Judith Herman, and Kristin Neff, shapes the way women with CPTSD experience hypervigilance and fear of exposure.

This conversation will help you understand what your anxiety is actually protecting — and why lasting relief requires addressing shame at the root.

You'll discover:

Understand the difference between behavior-based guilt and identity-level shame — and how that distinction fuels anxiety.
Recognize when your anxiety is acting as relational damage control rather than signaling real present danger.
Learn practical, research-grounded tools for building shame resilience and softening anxiety at its source.

Press play to discover how your anxiety may be trying to protect you from shame — and how to finally give it permission to stand down.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E95: Why “Who Am I?” is the Wrong Question for CPTSD Healing

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode, you'll discover why asking yourself the question, "Who am I?" won't help you heal from CPTSD.

For many survivors of CPTSD, identity can feel confusing, overwhelming, or even unsafe. When your nervous system has been trained to prioritize survival, conflict avoidance, and other people’s needs, accessing your authentic preferences can feel foreign. This episode explores why that happens — and how a simple present-moment question can help you reconnect with your internal compass and begin building real self-trust.

You'll discover:

Learn how to distinguish between your survival reflex and your true preferences in real time
Discover a micro-practice that gently rewires your nervous system toward safety and autonomy
Begin strengthening internal authority through small, daily choices that build authentic identity

Press play to learn the simple question that can help you move from survival mode to self-trust — one small, powerful moment at a time.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E94: Who Am I Outside People-Pleasing? Healing Attachment and Reclaiming Identity

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if people-pleasing isn’t who you are — but a survival strategy your nervous system learned long ago?

If you’re a woman healing from CPTSD, you may notice your body tightening the moment someone makes a request — planning your response before you’ve even checked in with yourself.

This episode helps you move beyond survival patterns and begin reclaiming your identity through curiosity, awareness, and choice.

You'll discover:

Understand why people-pleasing is an adaptive nervous system response — not your identity.
Learn how small, body-based choices begin rebuilding internal authority.
Practice simple exercises that help you act from preference instead of reflex.

Press play to start reclaiming your identity one small, embodied choice at a time.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E93: 1 Incredible Tool To Make Saying NO Easier, Without Triggering People Pleasing & Attachment Trauma

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What happens after you understand why disappointing others feels unsafe — but still struggle to say “no” without over-explaining?

In Monday's deep dive, we explored how attachment trauma and people pleasing patterns wire your nervous system to interpret disappointment as danger. In this mini episode we explore 1 practical tool to interrupt the fawn response and strengthen emotional regulation in real time.

You'll discover:

• A simple boundary script that reduces over-explaining and people pleasing

• A clearer understanding of how attachment trauma shows up in everyday requests

• A repeatable micro-practice to expand nervous system capacity and build self-trust

Press play to practice turning insight into action — and strengthen secure attachment one clear boundary at a time.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E92: Why Your Fear Of Disappointing People Is Actually An Attachment Trauma & How It Fuels People Pleasing

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever felt your stomach drop at the slightest hint of someone’s disappointment?

For many women with Complex PTSD, disappointing someone doesn’t just feel uncomfortable — it feels unsafe. If you’ve ever overextended yourself, avoided setting boundaries, or replayed conversations late into the night just to make sure you didn’t “mess up,” this episode speaks directly to that experience. We explore how these patterns are not character flaws or oversensitivity, but adaptive nervous system strategies that once protected connection.

You’ll discover:

Why the fear of disappointing others is rooted in early relational learning rather than personal deficiency.

How the fawn response functions as a survival alignment strategy — and how to begin interrupting it safely.

Practical tools to expand your capacity for boundaries, tolerate discomfort, and respond with grounded intentionality instead of reflexive appeasement.

Press play to discover how to move from survival-based appeasement to regulated choice — and build the capacity to disappoint someone without abandoning yourself.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E91: One Small Step to Heal Trauma Without Burning Out

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the exhaustion you feel isn’t something you need to fix — but something you need to release?

If you live with complex trauma, people pleasing, or anxious attachment, your energy is often spent before the day even begins. Overfunctioning, emotional labor, and constant alertness can quietly drain you — even when everything looks “fine” on the outside. This midweek reframe offers a gentle pause to notice where your energy is going and explore what it might feel like to let one small thing take less effort today.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How overfunctioning shows up at work and in relationships — and why it feels so exhausting
What “release” actually means for trauma survivors (without quitting, collapsing, or forcing boundaries)
How small, nervous-system-safe shifts can soften resentment and restore energy over time

Press play to experience a calming midweek reframe that helps you release just enough to feel lighter today — without pressure, fixing, or forcing change.

Your host, Cindy Payne—a licensed professional counselor, certified yoga teacher, and C-PTSD survivor—offers a new episode each Monday, and a Wednesday Midweek Reframe teaching a practical skill or concept, so you can reduce the impact of C-PTSD symptoms and improve relationships.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

**Ready to begin your healing? Start with the rebrand episode of Reclaiming Me: E66: Why You Can’t Heal Your Attachment Style Without Trauma Work (The Truth Behind the Rebrand of Reclaiming Me). **

E90: How Trauma, Attachment Patterns, and People Pleasing Drain Women’s Energy

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if your fatigue isn’t a health mystery, but a trauma response your body has been carrying for decades?

For many women, chronic exhaustion shows up in midlife with no clear explanation. Doctors say your labs are “normal,” rest doesn’t feel restorative, and pushing through only makes things worse.

This episode explores how trauma, attachment patterns, and people pleasing quietly shape your nervous system, hormones, sleep, and energy over time—especially if you’ve spent years overfunctioning, managing emotions, or staying in survival mode. What feels like burnout may actually be long-term adaptation.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

A clear understanding of how trauma and insecure attachment affect energy, sleep, and recovery
Why people pleasing and emotional labor are so deeply exhausting—even when you’re “not doing much”
A compassionate reframe of fatigue that replaces self-blame with insight and care

Listen to this episode to finally make sense of your exhaustion—and begin relating to your body not as something broken, but as something that has been surviving for a very long time.

Connect with Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Take the free people-pleasing quiz, explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E89: Letting Play Be an Experiment: How trauma, attachment, and people-pleasing turn play into pressure — and a gentler way to begin

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if play doesn’t have to feel fun, expressive, or healing—and what if neutral was actually the goal?

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed when asked what you like, resistant to “play,” or pressured to know how you’re supposed to heal, this episode speaks directly to that experience—especially for those with complex trauma or attachment wounds who learned safety through adapting, not choosing.

Understand why play can feel unsafe or confusing when your nervous system is wired for survival, not preference
Learn how to approach play as low-pressure information rather than self-expression or performance
Discover how neutrality, stopping early, and removing demand can support real attachment repair

Press play to explore a gentler reframe of play that helps you feel safer with yourself—without needing clarity, commitment, or emotional breakthroughs.

Is this podcast for you?

Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

This trauma-informed podcast helps women with complex PTSD heal the lasting impact of childhood attachment wounds from parents and caregivers so you can finally release survival patterns, rebuild self-trust, and create relationships rooted in authenticity, confidence, and emotional safety.

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E88: A Gentler Way to Heal Trauma and Attachment Wounds Through Play: Exploring safety, repair, and nervous system healing

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if healing your attachment wounds didn’t require more insight or effort—but simply giving your nervous system new experiences of safety and repair?

If you’ve been recognizing yourself in more than one attachment pattern—or noticing that your responses shift depending on the relationship—this episode speaks directly to you. Rather than labeling or fixing, this conversation explores what comes after awareness: how to gently support a nervous system shaped by complex trauma and survival, without forcing vulnerability or reliving the past.

Understand how play therapy can support anxious, avoidant, and mixed attachment patterns in a body-based, compassionate way
Learn what safety, protection, and repair actually feel like in the body—not just in theory
Discover gentle, doable practices that honor your pace while building more moments of self-trust and connection

Press play to experience a softer, more forgiving approach to attachment healing that helps you stay connected to yourself without having to abandon who you are.

Diane’s Bio: Diane Boehm is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Registered Play Therapist. She specializes in supporting young children and teenagers diagnosed with ADHD, autism & learning disorders. Much of her work focuses on helping parents better understand and support their children. Diane is married to her college sweetheart and together, they have three small children.

To connect with Diane: https://www.insightstherapy.com/therapists/diane-boehm

Amanda’s Bio: Amanda Sherman is also a Licensed Professional Counselor. She has nearly 10 years of counseling experience in the school setting ranging from lower elementary school to higher education. Amanda specializes in supporting teenagers and adults facing anxiety, depression, life transitions, self esteem issues, and child-parent relational concerns. Additionally, Amanda is a licensed supervisor, mentoring aspiring therapists after graduate school. Outside of work Amanda is married and a mother to two little girls.

To connect with Amanda: https://www.insightstherapy.com/therapists/amanda-sherman

Resource: The Whole Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

Is this podcast for you?

Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E87: Gentle Presence: Reconnecting With The Self After Trauma-Driven Disconnection

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you been showing up, achieving, and getting things done—yet feeling strangely disconnected or numb inside?

If life feels muted right now, this episode meets you exactly where you are. Many high-achieving women experience disconnection not because something is wrong, but because their nervous system learned to protect them. This midweek reframe gently explores why numbness happens and how presence doesn’t require forcing yourself to “feel more,” but instead begins with small, safe moments of awareness that fit into real life.

After listening, you’ll gain:

A compassionate reframe that helps you see dissociation as adaptive rather than a personal failure.
Simple, nervous-system-friendly practices that help you reconnect without overwhelm.
A deeper sense of agency and safety through tiny moments of choice, noticing, and self-recognition.

Press play to experience a calming, midweek reset that helps you gently reconnect with yourself—one small, safe moment at a time.

Is this podcast for you?

Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E86: When Functioning Becomes Disconnection: Dissociation, Trauma, and the Nervous System in High-Achieving Women

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever felt productive, capable, and accomplished—yet strangely disconnected from your own body, emotions, or sense of presence?

Many high-achieving women live in constant motion, mistaking numbness and detachment for focus, discipline, or resilience. This episode speaks directly to that experience, exploring how dissociation can quietly shape your nervous system, your relationship with your body, and your ability to feel fully present—without you ever realizing what’s happening.

In this episode, you’ll gain:

A compassionate understanding of dissociation as a protective nervous system response, not a personal flaw.
Insight into how trauma, chronic stress, perfectionism, and over functioning keep survival patterns active long after danger has passed.
Gentle, realistic ways to begin reconnecting with your body and inner world through awareness—without forcing change or slowing your life to a halt.

Press play to discover how reclaiming presence begins with small, safe moments of awareness—and how your nervous system can learn that it’s safe to come back home to yourself.

Is this podcast for you?

Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E85: Midweek Reframe: Tiny Micro-Practices That Help You Reconnect With Your Body While Living With CPTSD

Wed, 28 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Do you struggle to feel at home in your own body after trauma? Are tension, restlessness, or disconnection making it hard to fully inhabit your life?

If you’ve experienced complex PTSD or trauma, your nervous system may be stuck in survival mode—keeping you from noticing your body, breathing freely, or feeling safe in simple moments. In this episode of Reclaiming Me – Midweek Reframe, trauma specialist Cindy Payne shares tiny, safe embodiment micro-practices designed to help you reconnect with your body without pressure, guilt, or perfectionism. Even just a few minutes a day can send a powerful message to your nervous system: you belong in your body.

By listening to this episode, you’ll learn how to:

Tune into your breath and notice tension without judgment, helping your nervous system relax.
Explore subtle, intentional movements that release stored stress and create a sense of safety.

Reclaim agency and presence in your body, one small practice at a time, supporting trauma healing and CPTSD recovery.

Press play now to try two simple, safe micro-practices that help you reconnect with your body, calm your nervous system, and reclaim your sense of home within yourself.

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E84: Why Disconnection From Your Body Is Holding High-Achieving Women Back & How to Reclaim It

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever felt constantly busy, successful, and yet completely disconnected from your own body?

Many high-achieving women live life on autopilot—overachieving, controlling, and pushing past discomfort—without realizing that chronic disconnection is often the result of trauma, not a personal flaw. This episode explores how trauma shapes the body and why reclaiming embodiment is essential for healing, agency, and sustainable success.

Understand why your disconnection from your body is adaptive, not a flaw.
Learn how trauma rewires your nervous system and affects your daily experience of rest, emotion, and pleasure.
Discover practical ways to begin noticing your body safely, creating space for choice, creativity, and self-agency.

Press play to start reclaiming your body, reconnecting with your nervous system, and embracing embodiment without sacrificing your ambition.

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E83: Midweek Reframe: Why ‘Being Strong’ Is Hurting Women With CPTSD (And What to Do Instead)

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if your body isn’t the problem you need to fix — but the home you’ve been disconnected from all along?

Many women healing from complex PTSD were taught to override their needs, ignore discomfort, and push through at all costs. This episode explores how disembodiment becomes a socially rewarded survival strategy — and how that disconnect can quietly fuel anxiety, depression, people-pleasing, and burnout. If you’ve ever felt unsafe slowing down or listening to your body, this conversation will help you understand why — and how to begin shifting that relationship with compassion and choice.

Understand why embodiment is a choice rooted in agency — not something you force or perform
Recognize how disembodiment is reinforced for women and how it impacts mental and emotional health
Learn why embodiment is the foundation for boundaries, creativity, play, and relational trust

Press play to explore how reclaiming your body — at your own pace — can become the foundation for healing, safety, and self-trust.

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E82: 3 Trauma Beliefs Women With CPTSD Carry About Their Bodies, Boundaries, and Joy—and How to Release Them

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the beliefs you’ve held about your body, your responsibility in relationships, and your right to joy weren’t truths—but survival strategies you’re finally allowed to outgrow?

Many women living with complex PTSD are deeply self-aware—yet still feel disconnected from their bodies, over-responsible for others’ emotions, and unsure whether rest, play, or creativity are truly allowed. These patterns didn’t come from weakness; they came from adaptation. In this episode, Cindy Payne shares how receiving a CPTSD diagnosis reframed her understanding of embodiment, boundaries, and joy—and why healing isn’t about fixing yourself, but expanding your capacity to live.

Learn why disconnection from your body, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment are intelligent trauma adaptations—not personal failures
Discover how reclaiming embodiment and boundaries creates nervous-system safety without guilt or shame
Understand why play and creativity are essential tools for regulation, healing, and secure attachment—not indulgences

Press play to explore the three trauma beliefs Cindy has changed her mind about—and discover how you can begin reclaiming your body, boundaries, and joy at a pace your nervous system can trust.

Resource: https://hillarylmcbride.com/ - The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection through Embodied Living

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E81: Midweek Reframe: Disorganized Attachment & Self-Compassion: Meeting Push-Pull With Kindness

Wed, 14 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the push-pull you feel in attachment isn’t a problem to fix—but a place where kindness is needed most?

For women with CPTSD and disorganized attachment, moments of closeness can bring both comfort and fear—often followed by shame. This Midweek Reframe offers a gentle pause to help your nervous system settle. Using a trauma-informed self-compassion practice inspired by Kristin Neff’s work, you’ll learn how to meet conflicting attachment needs with softness instead of self-judgment.

Experience a short, guided self-compassion practice designed for trauma-based attachment
Learn how soothing and grounding the body can reduce attachment-related shame
Discover how to hold longing and fear at the same time without forcing yourself to choose

Take a few minutes to press play and practice meeting your attachment patterns with safety, steadiness, and compassion.

Resources:

Free research-based assessments: ECR/ECR-R questionnaires, Short-Form ECR, and my People-Pleasing Style Quiz at cindypayne.com
Books: Attached by Levine & Heller, The Body Keeps the Score by van der Kolk, Parenting from the Inside Out by Siegel & Hartzell
The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff, PhD and Christopher Germer, PhD
Self-compassion practice: Kristin Neff – Self-Compassion
Communities and education: CPTSD Foundation

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E80: Why Trauma Creates Disorganized Attachment and Makes Love Feel Unsafe

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Why does attachment feel comforting one moment—and overwhelming or unsafe the next for trauma survivors?

If you’ve experienced early relational trauma and struggle with attachment in adulthood, this episode offers clarity without judgment. Disorganized attachment is not a flaw or dysfunction—it’s a trauma-based survival response shaped by inconsistent or frightening caregiving. When attachment figures were both safe and unsafe, your nervous system learned to hold closeness and fear at the same time. This episode explores how trauma shapes attachment patterns, why shame often follows, and how understanding your nervous system can open the door to healing.

Understand how trauma biologically and relationally shapes attachment patterns
Recognize why attachment-related shame develops—and how to soften it with compassion
Learn how nervous system awareness supports healing trauma-based attachment wounds

Press play to understand how trauma shaped your attachment—and how healing begins with safety, not self-blame.

Resources:

People-Pleasing Style Quiz at cindypayne.com
Books: Attached by Levine & Heller, The Body Keeps the Score by van der Kolk, Parenting from the Inside Out by Siegel & Hartzell
Self-compassion practice: Kristin Neff – Self-Compassion
Communities and education: CPTSD Foundation

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E79: Midweek Reframe: Letting Distance Be Information, Not Shame: A Self-Compassion Reframe for Avoidant Attachment

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0400

What if the part of you that pulls away isn’t something to fix—but something asking for compassion?

For many women with complex PTSD, avoidant attachment brings shame, self-judgment, and the belief that needing space means something is wrong. This midweek reframe invites you to slow down and meet distance differently—through the lens of Kristin Neff’s self-compassion framework—so your nervous system can integrate insight without turning it into criticism.

In this episode, you’ll experience:

A trauma-informed reframe of avoidant attachment as protection, not emotional disinterest
How self-compassion can soften shame when the urge to withdraw appears
A simple, body-based Self-Compassion Break adapted specifically for avoidant nervous systems

Press play to practice meeting your need for space with kindness—so distance becomes information your nervous system can trust, not something you judge yourself for.

Want more on Dr. Kristen Neff's work? https://self-compassion.org/

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

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E78: How Avoidant Attachment Develops When Independence Was the Safest Choice

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever been told you’re “so independent” while secretly wondering why closeness feels exhausting instead of comforting? If you’ve learned to rely on yourself because emotional support wasn’t consistently available, this episode speaks directly to you. Through a trauma-informed lens, Cindy unpacks avoidant attachment not as a flaw or personality trait, but as a nervous-system survival strategy—especially common for women living with complex PTSD who feel torn between craving connection and needing distance to stay regulated.

By listening to this episode, you’ll gain:

A clear understanding of how avoidant attachment forms as an intelligent response to emotional absence, not a lack of desire for connection.
Insight into how avoidant attachment shows up internally and in adult relationships, including overwhelm, numbness, and the need for space after intimacy.
Clarity on the difference between avoidant attachment and CPTSD shutdown, so you can stop mislabeling protection as “not needing anyone.”

Press play to discover why your distance makes sense—and how greater safety, choice, and self-trust can open the door to healing without forcing vulnerability.

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E77: Midweek Reframe: How Trauma-Informed Self-Validation Calms Anxious Attachment

Wed, 31 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Do unanswered texts or subtle shifts in connection send your nervous system into overdrive—and leave you questioning yourself?

If you have an anxious attachment style, moments of uncertainty in relationships can quickly turn into self-doubt, shame, or the urge to people-please. This short midweek reframe helps you slow that cycle by learning self-validation—so instead of judging your reactions, you can understand them, soothe your nervous system, and respond with compassion.

Understand why anxious attachment feelings are meaningful signals, not personal flaws
Learn how self-validation can calm your nervous system and reduce emotional reactivity
Practice simple, trauma-informed self-compassion tools based on Kristen Neff’s research

Press play to learn how self-validation can help you feel calmer, more grounded, and more secure in your relationships—starting with the one you have with yourself.

Resources:

Diane Poole Heller, Attachment Theory in Practice
Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached
Dan Siegel, The Developing Mind
Kristen Neff, Self-Compassion, Fierce Self-Compassion

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E76: Why Anxious Attachment Keeps You Stuck in Relationship Anxiety (and How Trauma Fuels It)

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Do you ever feel like you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop in your relationships—reading into texts, tone shifts, or moments of silence?

If you’ve noticed that connection can feel intense, fragile, or anxiety-provoking, this episode speaks directly to that experience. Anxious attachment isn’t about being “too much”—it’s about how your nervous system learned to stay safe in relationships, especially if you grew up with inconsistency, emotional neglect, or trauma.

In this episode, you’ll gain:

A clear, compassionate understanding of how anxious attachment forms and why it’s so common
Insight into how anxious attachment shows up in adult relationships, including texting anxiety, over-giving, and fear of abandonment
A trauma-informed lens to distinguish anxious attachment from disorganized patterns, especially in the context of CPTSD

Press play to finally make sense of your relationship anxiety and learn how understanding attachment can bring relief, clarity, and self-compassion.

Resources:

Diane Poole Heller, Attachment Theory in Practice
Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached
Dan Siegel, The Developing Mind

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E75: Midweek Reframe: Stop Forcing Secure Attachment—This Trauma-Informed Pause Works Better

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever caught yourself overthinking a text, pulling away to protect yourself, or feeling flooded with emotion in relationships—and wondered why it feels so hard to pause?

If you’re a woman healing from C-PTSD, attachment triggers can show up fast and feel overwhelming, pulling you into people-pleasing, shutdown, or anxiety before you even realize what’s happening. This episode meets you right in those moments, translating attachment theory into a simple, nervous-system–aware practice you can use in real time to create safety and choice.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to recognize attachment triggers as they happen instead of after the fact.

You’ll discover a step-by-step grounding tool to calm your nervous system and interrupt reactive patterns.

You’ll gain clarity on what you actually need in triggering moments so you can respond with self-trust and boundaries.

Press play to learn the Attachment Pause and start responding to relationship triggers with calm, clarity, and compassion instead of old survival reactions.

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E74: Your Attachment Style Is Choosing Your Relationships (Here’s How to Change the Pattern)

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Why do you keep choosing the same kinds of partners—even when you know they’re not good for you?

If you struggle with people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, emotional shutdown, or that confusing push-pull feeling in relationships, this episode connects the dots between attachment styles and complex PTSD so you can finally understand why your nervous system reacts the way it does—and why it makes so much sense.

Gain clarity on how the four attachment styles actually show up in real-life relationships, especially for women with C-PTSD
Learn to identify your own nervous system triggers, people-pleasing patterns, and survival responses without shame
Discover practical, trauma-informed ways to move toward secure attachment, stronger boundaries, and deeper self-trust

Press play to feel validated, understood, and equipped with insights that can help you break old relationship patterns and start building safer, more secure connections—beginning with yourself.

Resources for this episode: Diane Poole Heller, Attachment Theory in Practice
Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached
Dan Siegel, The Developing Mind

E73: Why Your Attachment Style Shapes Your Nervous System—and How to Gently Shift It

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Do you ever wonder why you cling harder when someone pulls away—or shut down the moment intimacy feels possible?

If relationships keep triggering anxiety, withdrawal, or emotional whiplash, this Midweek Reframe connects the dots between your attachment style and your nervous system so you can understand why these patterns show up—and how to respond to them with compassion instead of self-blame.

In this episode:

Understand how anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment patterns form and why they feel so automatic
Learn how your nervous system drives relational reactions like people-pleasing, shutdown, or hypervigilance
Discover a simple, trauma-informed awareness practice to gently move toward more secure attachment.

Press play to gain clarity on your attachment style and take one grounded step toward calmer, more secure relationships.

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E72: How Healing Attachment Wounds Brings Clarity to Relationship Chaos with guest, Bryan Power

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 05:00:00 -0400

Have you ever wondered why the same painful patterns keep showing up in your relationships—no matter how hard you try to change?

If you’ve struggled with emotional triggers, boundary issues, or feeling misunderstood in relationships, this episode connects the dots between attachment styles, core wounds, and real-life healing—showing how awareness can turn chaos into clarity.

In this episode:

Understand the four attachment styles and how they shape communication and conflict
Learn how unhealed core wounds drive emotional reactions—and how to regulate them
Discover practical ways to set and respect boundaries for healthier, more secure relationships

Press play to hear a powerful, real-life story and gain practical tools that can help you begin transforming your relationships from the inside out.

To connect with Bryan Power and/or learn more about his work with the Integrated Attachment Theory, visit: https://www.myrelationshipfail.com/

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Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E71: Midweek Reframe: How Emotional Flashbacks Secretly Control Your People Pleasing

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 19:22:00 -0400

Have you ever felt your stomach drop or your chest tighten—and suddenly you’re people pleasing, apologizing, or overthinking without knowing why?

This Midweek Reframe exposes the subtle moment trauma takes over: the instant an emotional flashback begins. You’ll learn how these body-first responses activate people pleasing and attachment wounds long before your mind catches up, and how to spot the shift before it spirals.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• The three early signs of emotional flashbacks—“the drop, the story, and the pull”—and what they reveal about your trauma history.

• Why naming the sensation in real time reconnects your thinking brain and stops the people-pleasing reflex.

• A 10-second three-sentence grounding tool that helps your adult self step in before overwhelm takes over.

Press play now to learn how to recognize the earliest moment trauma hijacks your system so you can stop people pleasing at the root and begin healing lifelong attachment wounds.

Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

Your host, Cindy Payne—a licensed professional counselor, certified yoga teacher, and C-PTSD survivor—offers a Monday episode (solo or guest) and a Wednesday Midweek Reframe teaching a practical skill or concept, so you can reduce the impact of C-PTSD symptoms and improve relationships.

New Episodes Every Week

Tune in every Monday for a full-length episode (solo or guest), and every Wednesday for your short Midweek Reframe—a quick skill, concept, or grounding tool to support your healing.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted or via email: cindy@cindypaynelpc.com

E70: Why Emotional Flashbacks Stem From Attachment Wounds — Not “Overreacting”

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Do you ever feel a sudden rush of shame, fear, panic, or people-pleasing — and instantly wonder, “Why am I reacting like this?”

For women with childhood attachment wounds and relational trauma, these intense emotional waves aren’t overreactions. They’re emotional flashbacks — a trauma response wired into your nervous system long before you had language for what you felt. In this episode, Cindy explains how emotional flashbacks form, why they're so common for women, and how they link directly to patterns like fawning, self-silencing, and chronic people-pleasing.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
• How emotional flashbacks differ from classic PTSD flashbacks
• Why attachment wounds make you react to subtle cues like tone shifts or silence
• How trauma wires your body to respond before your adult mind can step in
• A compassionate grounding skill to soothe emotional flashbacks in real time

Press play to understand emotional flashbacks with clarity — and learn a gentle, trauma-informed way to interrupt them and reconnect with your grounded, adult self.

Are you a woman who has done years of healing work on your attachment trauma, yet still feel unable to let go of people-pleasing and perfectionism?

Listen each week to learn how to:

• Understand how trauma, attachment patterns, and overthinking fuel anxiety, stress, and burnout.

• Release perfectionism, people-pleasing, and outdated identities that keep you playing small.

• Build healthy boundaries, embodied self-trust, and a grounded sense of purpose and worth.

New Episodes Every Week:

Tune in every Monday for a full-length episode (solo or guest), and every Wednesday for your short Midweek Reframe—a quick skill, concept, or grounding tool to support your healing.

Work With Cindy:

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me:

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

E69: Midweek Reframe: A Quick Reframe: How Trauma Trains You to People-Please

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Are your childhood attachment wounds still shaping how you think, feel, and move through the world—often without you even realizing it.
If you’ve been living in a constant state of overthinking, perfectionism, or hypervigilance, this episode helps you understand why your body learned these patterns and how you can gently unwind them. You’ll see how trauma impacts your nervous system and discover simple practices that help you reconnect with your body so you can finally feel grounded and safe within yourself.

In this episode:

Learn how survival strategies like vigilance and disconnection formed—and how they can become pathways back to healing.
Discover grounding practices that calm your nervous system and help you rebuild a healthy connection with your body.
Gain practical tools to increase self-awareness, emotional regulation, and a deeper sense of inner safety.
Tune in now to explore simple, body-based practices that help you regulate your nervous system and begin reclaiming yourself from the inside out.

About the show:

This podcast explores the real, human side of growth — from navigating anxiety, imposter syndrome, and codependency to rediscovering presence, confidence, and authenticity. Through honest conversations about vulnerability, leadership, and letting go, we dive into the balance between purpose and rest, mindfulness and action, boundaries and connection. Together, we unpack the layers of trauma, stress, and exhaustion that keep us from fulfillment, and explore how healing begins when we choose awareness, compassion, and alignment over overwhelm.

New Episodes Every Week

Tune in every Monday for a full-length episode (solo or guest), and every Wednesday for your short Midweek Reframe—a quick skill, concept, or grounding tool to support your healing.

Work With Cindy

Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me

Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

E68: The Trauma You Were Never Allowed to Name - Understanding Complex PTSD

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 11:00:00 -0400

What if the symptoms you’ve spent years blaming yourself for—hypervigilance, overthinking, guilt, emotional exhaustion—are not personality flaws at all, but signs of a trauma you were never given permission to name?

If you’ve ever felt “too sensitive,” “too reactive,” or “not enough,” this episode helps you understand why your nervous system responds the way it does. By finally naming the chronic, relational, often-invisible trauma that shaped you, you can begin untangling patterns that once kept you safe but now keep you stuck.

• A clear understanding of what Complex PTSD actually is—and how it differs from both Big T and little t trauma.
• Validation that your survival patterns (like people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional numbing, or hyper-independence) are adaptive responses, not personal shortcomings.
• Language, clarity, and compassion that help your nervous system soften so healing can finally begin.

Press play to learn the language, validation, and nervous-system insights that will help you finally understand yourself with clarity instead of self-blame.

About the show:

New Episodes Every Week Tune in every Monday for a full-length episode (solo or guest), and every Wednesday for your short Midweek Reframe—a quick skill, concept, or grounding tool to support your healing.

Work With Cindy: Ready for deeper support? Explore therapy, coaching, or book a consultation here: cindypayne.com

Connect With Me: Send me a message directly on Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

E67: Midweek Mindset Shift: How Wise Mind Helps Heal CPTSD and People-Pleasing

Wed, 26 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Episode Summary

In this Midweek Mindset Shift, Cindy introduces a foundational DBT concept—Emotion Mind, Reasonable Mind, and Wise Mind—and explains how these three states shape your reactions, patterns, and nervous system responses. This short, trauma-informed episode guides you in recognizing which mind state you're operating from and how to shift into Wise Mind, the centered place where intuition, clarity, and grounded decision-making meet.

This episode is especially supportive for women healing from childhood attachment wounds, people-pleasing patterns, chronic overthinking, and complex PTSD.

The difference between Emotion Mind, Reasonable Mind, and Wise Mind
Why trauma and attachment wounds make emotional flooding and overthinking more common
How Wise Mind supports nervous system regulation and balanced decision-making
A practical DBT tool called S.T.O.P. for pausing and choosing a grounded response
How small shifts in awareness help you break old survival patterns

You are not your emotions or your thoughts. Observing them creates space for choice.
Emotion Mind and Reasonable Mind each offer something valuable, but Wise Mind brings balance and clarity.
Wise Mind is a practice, not a destination. Consistent small pauses strengthen self-trust and emotional regulation.

"The body keeps the score, but the mind can learn to guide it." — Bessel van der Kolk

Website: cindypayne.com
Instagram: @cindypaynerooted

Work with Cindy to heal childhood attachment wounds, CPTSD, people-pleasing, and perfectionism, and to reconnect with your true Self.

Consider listening to Monday’s full-length episode for a deeper dive into healing attachment wounds, understanding trauma responses, and reclaiming your nervous system.

E66: Why You Can’t Heal Your Attachment Style Without Trauma Work (The Truth Behind the Rebrand of Reclaiming Me)

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0400

What if your trauma, people pleasing, and attachment style weren’t signs that something is wrong with you—what if they were the exact reasons Reclaiming Me needed to exist?

In this deeply personal rebrand episode, Cindy Payne shares why her own trauma history, lifelong people pleasing, and misunderstood attachment patterns inspired her to transform the podcast into Reclaiming Me. She reveals how her late-life CPTSD diagnosis finally gave language to the survival patterns that shaped her childhood, relationships, and identity—and why women deserve a trauma-informed space built specifically for their healing journey.

In this episode, you’ll discover:
• Why the shift to Reclaiming Me reflects a deeper mission to support women healing trauma, people pleasing, and attachment wounds
• How Cindy’s upbringing, CPTSD diagnosis, and nervous system journey shaped the heart of this new podcast direction
• What to expect from Reclaiming Me moving forward, including trauma tools, attachment insights, somatic practices, and weekly grounding episodes designed to help you reclaim your identity

Press play now to experience the story behind the Reclaiming Me rebrand and step into a trauma-informed space created to help you stop people pleasing, understand your attachment style, and finally reclaim who you’ve always been.

Work with Cindy:

Instagram: @CindyPayneRooted
Website: www.CindyPayne.com
Practice: Rooted Counseling & Wellness

Information on therapy and trauma-informed support: www.CindyPayne.com

Stay Connected:

Weekly episodes on trauma, attachment styles, nervous system healing, and people pleasing patterns.

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for educational use only and does not replace therapy or mental health treatment.

E65: Midweek Reframe: Pause and Anchor Check-In

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy introduces a grounding practice called the 'pause and anchor check-in' designed to help individuals manage stress and reconnect with themselves. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in interrupting automatic stress responses, particularly for those with complex PTSD. The episode provides practical steps for implementing this practice in daily life, encouraging listeners to take a moment to assess their thoughts, bodily sensations, and actions to foster a sense of safety and choice.

E64: Healing Through Story: Curtiss & Nikki’s Addiction Recovery and Trauma Healing Journey

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 11:32:12 -0400

Summary

In this conversation, Cindy Payne, Nikki Callaway, and Curtiss Callaway discuss their journeys through addiction, recovery, and the transformative power of storytelling. They share their experiences with treatment, the challenges of postpartum depression, and the importance of agency in recovery. The discussion highlights the significance of personal growth, the role of EMDR in healing, and the shift from enabling behaviors to empowering oneself and others. Ultimately, they emphasize the beauty of ordinary moments and the profound impact of sharing one's story in the recovery process.

Takeaways

Recovery is a journey that should not be walked alone.

Finding beauty in ordinary moments can lead to emotional change.

Postpartum depression can significantly impact a mother's ability to care for her child.

Navigating treatment centers can be challenging and requires persistence.

The Orchard provided a unique approach to recovery, emphasizing agency.

Storytelling plays a crucial role in healing and self-discovery.

Defining moments can lead to significant personal growth.

EMDR can help identify and address deep-seated beliefs and traumas.

The shift from enabling to empowering is essential in recovery relationships.

Transformation often comes with pain, but it is necessary for growth.

E63: Midweek Reframe: Breaking the Shame–Perfectionism Loop

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy Payne explores the themes of shame, perfectionism, and the journey towards self-trust and authenticity. She discusses the inner critic that many individuals face, particularly those with complex PTSD, and how it can silence their true selves. Through practical exercises, she encourages listeners to pause, ground themselves, and capture their authentic truths, emphasizing that healing comes from being real rather than perfect. The episode serves as a reminder that one's story is valuable, regardless of its polish, and that embracing vulnerability is a crucial step in the healing process.

E62: Healing Through Story: Transforming Trauma into Purpose with Aaron Donaghy and Nikki Callaway

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, host Cindy Payne engages in a heartfelt conversation with Aaron and Nikki, co-founders of the Story of Self program. They explore the transformative power of storytelling in healing from trauma and addiction. The discussion highlights the significance of defining moments in shaping identity, the impact of community in recovery, and the importance of reframing pain into purpose. Aaron shares his personal journey and the origins of the Story of Self framework, while Nikki discusses her transition into leadership within the program. Together, they emphasize the critical role of understanding trauma, especially during formative years, and how individuals can reclaim their narratives through self-discovery and connection. In this conversation, Aaron, Cindy, and Nikki explore the transformative power of storytelling in personal growth and healing. They discuss the importance of guiding individuals through their stories, the journey from pain to purpose, and the courage required to embrace one's narrative. The discussion highlights the goal of sharing a million stories in five years, emphasizing the need for personal accountability and the grace to grow. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to honor their stories and recognize their worth in the journey of change.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Journey of Healing

03:49 The Birth of the Story of Self Program

14:10 Understanding the Unique Approach of Story of Self

16:39 Identifying Pain Points and False Beliefs

24:55 The Significance of Defining Moments in Life

28:10 Understanding Childhood Trauma and Its Impact

30:36 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Leadership

34:51 The Power of Partnership in Healing

38:48 The Courage to Own Your Story

43:46 A Vision for Change: One Million Stories in Five Years

45:46 The Power of Individual Choices

48:58 Transforming Stories and Cultures

50:49 Honoring Personal Stories

54:24 Grace and Permission for Growth

56:29 Embracing Pain for Transformation

59:00 Connecting and Collaborating for Change

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To learn more about the Story of Self program, visit: https://storyofself.com/

E61: Midweek Reframe: Body Compass Check-In

Wed, 05 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Keywords

trauma, healing, inner critic, self-trust, body compass, mindfulness, mental health, women empowerment, authentic self, childhood wounds

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, host Cindy Payne explores the impact of the inner critic on self-trust and healing. She introduces a practical skill called the body compass check-in, which helps listeners connect with their bodies and recognize the sensations associated with their inner critic. Through this practice, listeners learn to invite their authentic selves back in and understand the importance of listening to their body's signals. The episode concludes with a preview of upcoming guests who will discuss the significance of owning and revising one's story.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Healing and Self-Trust

01:18 Understanding the Inner Critic

03:37 Practicing the Body Compass Check-In

07:19 Strengthening Your Body's Compass

08:39 Conclusion and Upcoming Guests

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E60: Unmasking Rest: Part Two — Finding Restoration in Connection

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Keywords

rest, connection, emotional health, sensory rest, social rest, spiritual rest, trauma-informed care, healing, self-compassion, belonging

Summary

In this episode, Cindy explores the concept of rest, emphasizing its importance in connection and healing. She discusses the four types of rest: sensory, emotional, social, and spiritual, and how each contributes to restoring one's capacity for connection and self-compassion. Through personal anecdotes and insights, she highlights the significance of nurturing relationships and the necessity of allowing oneself to rest without guilt or shame.

Chapters

00:00 The Essence of Rest and Connection

05:21 Exploring the Four Types of Rest

06:10 Sensory Rest: Finding Calm in Connection

09:16 Emotional Rest: The Safety to Feel

14:11 Social Rest: Nourishing Connections

16:50 Spiritual Rest: Belonging to Something Bigger

20:22 Recap and Key Takeaways

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E59: Welcome to the Midweek Reframe: Inner Critic vs. Authentic Self

Wed, 22 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Keywords:

rest, trauma, inner critic, mental health, self-care, creative rest, physical rest, emotional safety, mindfulness, neuroplasticity

Summary:

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy discusses the importance of rest for trauma survivors, emphasizing that rest is not merely about sleep but about creating a sense of safety. She explores the inner critic that often prevents individuals from resting, detailing how it manifests in physical, mental, and creative rest. Cindy encourages listeners to engage with their inner critic compassionately and to recognize the value of rest as a necessary part of self-care and healing.

Takeaways:

Rest for trauma survivors is about safety, not just sleep.

The inner critic often sounds like discipline or motivation.

Physical rest is safety training for the nervous system.

Mental rest allows clarity and insight to return.

Creative rest is essential for emotional well-being.

Beauty is medicine for the soul, not a luxury.

Engaging with the inner critic with compassion is key.

You don't have to earn your moments of rest.

Choosing stillness teaches your nervous system a new truth.

Rest can be an act of courage.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Midweek Mind Shift

01:29 Understanding Physical Rest

03:47 Mental Rest and Clarity

05:42 Creative Rest as Medicine

07:38 Compassion for the Inner Critic

08:37 Conclusion and Invitation to Rest

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E58: Unmasking Rest, Part One: Beyond Sleep and Into Healing

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Keywords:

rest, healing, trauma, attachment wounds, self-care, mental health, physical rest, creative rest, mental rest, emotional well-being

Summary:

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy Payne explores the concept of true rest, emphasizing that it goes beyond mere sleep. She discusses the importance of understanding different types of rest—physical, mental, and creative—and how they relate to healing from trauma and attachment wounds. Through personal anecdotes and insights, she highlights the significance of feeling safe enough to rest and the transformative power of allowing oneself to receive rest without guilt. The episode serves as a guide for listeners to reclaim their rest and prioritize self-care in their healing journey.

Takeaways:

Rest isn't just about sleep; it's about feeling safe.

True rest can look different depending on your needs.

Physical rest involves letting your body feel safe enough to soften.

Mental rest is about stopping the over-management of thoughts.

Creative rest allows us to receive beauty without the need to produce.

Trauma can make stillness feel threatening.

Practicing small acts of reparenting can help reclaim rest.

Choosing rest is an act of self-respect.

Each type of rest invites reconnection with safety, quiet, and beauty.

Healing begins when we allow our bodies to exhale.

Chapters:

00:00 The Essence of Rest

02:38 Understanding the Seven Types of Rest

03:38 Exploring Physical Rest

07:22 The Importance of Mental Rest

11:52 Rediscovering Creative Rest

15:40 The Journey to Self-Trust and Safety

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E57: Choosing Yourself: Healing the Roots of Codependency

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Keywords:

trauma, healing, codependency, self-discovery, relationships, personal growth, emotional awareness, childhood memories, self-validation, authenticity

Summary:

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy delves into her personal journey of healing from childhood attachment issues and codependency. She shares insights from a transformational workshop that helped her uncover early relational patterns and recognize the impact of her past on her present relationships. Through storytelling, she emphasizes the importance of self-validation, choosing oneself, and the need for emotional awareness in breaking free from people-pleasing behaviors. The episode concludes with practical steps for listeners to apply in their own lives and a preview of upcoming topics.

Takeaways:

Recognize how early caregiver relationships shape current relational patterns.

Pause before reacting and consciously choose yourself.

Self-validation interrupts codependent cycles.

Small consistent steps of awareness and compassion can transform your relationships.

Notice your triggers and how they manifest in your body.

Practice pausing before responding to others' needs.

Acknowledge your feelings before offering compassion to others.

Choosing yourself does not reduce your love for others.

Engaging authentically comes from a place of strength.

Reflect on moments where you gave away your power and how to choose yourself instead.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Healing Childhood Wounds

00:48 Uncovering Codependency and Personal Stories

02:16 The Transformational Workshop Experience

05:27 Identifying Early Pain Points

11:53 Revisiting Happy Childhood Memories

14:11 Recognizing Patterns and Choosing Yourself

16:53 Practical Steps for Self-Validation

22:03 Transforming Relationships Through Awareness

25:54 Looking Ahead: Types of Rest and Future Topics

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E56: Unmasking Codependency: When Helping Becomes Harmful

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Keywords

codependency, healing, motherhood, family dynamics, self-care, boundaries, mental health, emotional wellness, personal growth, self-awareness

Summary:

In this episode, Cindy explores the concept of codependency, sharing her personal journey from childhood through motherhood and the impact of family dynamics on her understanding of self. She discusses the generational aspects of codependency, the challenges faced in her role as a mother, and the importance of healing and setting boundaries. Through her experiences, she emphasizes the need for self-awareness and the ability to love without losing oneself, offering practical steps for listeners to begin their own healing journey.

Takeaways:

Codependency often comes from family patterns. It is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to break it.

Helping becomes harmful when it costs you your values and your boundaries and your sense of self.

You can love someone without rescuing them. Healthy love allows both people to stand in their own power.

Healing starts with awareness. So notice where you're abandoning yourself.

Begin practicing boundaries and saying no without guilt.

Fear is at the epicenter of codependency, keeping the machine running.

Generational trauma can perpetuate codependent behaviors.

Self-awareness is crucial in recognizing codependent patterns.

It's important to allow loved ones to experience their own consequences.

Healing is a continuous journey, not a destination.

Chapters:

00:00 Understanding Codependency: A Personal Journey

08:00 The Impact of Family Dynamics on Codependency

14:55 Healing Through Awareness and Compassion

21:38 Navigating Codependency in Parenting

34:35 Tools for Breaking the Cycle of Codependency

E55: Breaking the Silence: Vulnerability, Shame, and Healing for Men with Ken Van Swearingen, MMFT, LPC, LCDC, NCC

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this conversation, Cindy and Ken Van Swearingen explore the complexities of men's mental health, emphasizing the unspoken pressures men face, the importance of vulnerability, and the role of connection in healing. They discuss the impact of toxic masculinity, the challenges of high achievement, and the necessity of friendships for emotional well-being. The dialogue highlights the journey of healing, the significance of addressing shame, and the hope that comes from transformation and meaningful conversations.

Takeaways

Men often carry unspoken pressures like perfectionism and self-reliance.

Connection is critical for emotional well-being.

True healing begins when men are given permission to struggle.

Openness, honesty, and vulnerability are essential for building trust.

The cost of high achievement can lead to emotional despair.

Shame can keep men stuck and prevent them from seeking help.

Friendships are vital for men's mental health and resilience.

Transformation often comes from meaningful conversations in therapy.

Healing requires addressing both past traumas and future goals.

There is hope after suffering and surrender, leading to new beginnings.

Sound bites

"Men often carry unspoken pressures."

"Healing has a past orientation."

"Men need friendships to thrive."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Ken Van Swearingen

04:22 Ken's Diverse Journey to Therapy

06:29 Connecting with High-Pressure Clients

09:48 Understanding Male Suicidality

13:16 Navigating Toxic Masculinity

17:57 The Role of Vulnerability in Therapy

19:19 Navigating Emotional Awareness in High Achievers

22:00 The Importance of Self-Discovery and Spirituality

24:50 Understanding Recovery and High Achievement

27:42 Healing, Change, and Acceptance

30:25 The Role of Shame in Emotional Expression

33:17 Building Connections Through Shared Activities

40:06 The Importance of Friendships and Identity

41:52 Competition vs. Collaboration in Relationships

43:56 Pushing Boundaries: The Role of Physical Challenges

46:47 Finding Hope in Difficult Times

49:32 Transformative Conversations: The Therapist's Perspective

50:07 Encouraging Action: Resources for Support

50:21 The Weight of Unspoken Pressures

51:42 The Importance of Connection and Vulnerability

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E54: Unmasking Suicide Loss: A Conversation on Grief and Compassion with Courtney Watson

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 09:57:00 -0400

Summary:

In this episode, Cindy and her friend, Courtney, discuss the profound impact of losing a loved one to suicide. They explore the complexities of grief, the importance of community support, and the journey of healing over time. Courtney shares her personal story of loss, the challenges she faced, and the ways she has found hope and connection in the aftermath. The conversation emphasizes the need for understanding, compassion, and open dialogue about mental health and suicide, especially during Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.

Trigger Warning & Resources:

This episode discusses suicide and grief. If you’re listening and feel triggered or need support, please reach out — in the U.S., you can dial 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

If you found this conversation helpful, consider sharing it with someone who might benefit, subscribing to the podcast, and leaving a review to help others find these important discussions.

For more about Cindy’s work, you can follow her @cindypaynerooted and visit www.cindypayne.com

E53: College, Pressure, and Possibility: Helping Teens Navigate What’s Next with Janelle Ault, LMFT

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this conversation, Cindy and Janelle Ault, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Teen Translation, discuss the challenges teens face during the transition from high school to adulthood, particularly regarding college applications and the pressures that come with it. They explore the role of parental support, the impact of social media, and the importance of communication within families. Janelle emphasizes the need for resilience, self-trust, and the understanding that it's okay for teens to be in process as they navigate their futures. The discussion also highlights the developmental aspects of adolescence and the importance of scaffolding support for teens as they grow.

E52: Highlight Reels vs. Real Life: Breaking Free from Social Media Pressure

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy discusses her personal journey with social media, focusing on the impact it has on mental health, parenting, and friendships. She shares her decision to delete her personal Instagram account and the importance of setting boundaries around social media use. The conversation highlights the negative effects of social media, including comparison, consumer pressure, and the need for mindfulness. Cindy emphasizes the importance of intentional living and the benefits of simplifying social media interactions to foster mental clarity and creativity.

E51: Coming Home to Yourself: A Conversation with My Grandfather on a Century of Love, Loss and Resiliency

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 11:24:10 -0400

Summary

In this heartfelt episode, Cindy interviews her grandfather, who celebrates his 100th birthday. They discuss his life experiences, including his time as a World War II veteran, lessons learned about love and partnership, and the importance of resilience and mental health. The conversation highlights the significance of family, purpose, and the wisdom that comes with age, culminating in a celebration of a life well-lived.

E50: One Year Unmasked: Celebrating Courage, Community & New Chapters

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 10:30:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, hosts Cindy and Sarah celebrate their one-year podcast anniversary while discussing the themes of courage, self-care, and the challenges faced by women today. They reflect on the importance of advocating for neurodivergent children, the pressures of societal expectations, and the need for empathy in education. The conversation emphasizes the significance of modeling self-care for children and the importance of choosing a supportive community. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to embrace their journeys with compassion and resilience.

E49: Rooted in Change: Closing One Chapter, Opening Another

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 11:26:17 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy discusses the themes of change, vulnerability, and personal growth through the lens of her series 'Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart.' She reflects on the importance of values and boundaries, the challenges of embracing vulnerability, and the journey of sobriety. Cindy also shares exciting transitions in her podcasting journey, including a shift to solo hosting and rebranding her practice, while emphasizing the significance of standing firm in one's purpose and being open to growth.

E48: Becoming Ourselves: College Days, Sobriety, and the Work of Growth with Dr. Jeff Farr

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 18:40:39 -0400

Summary:

Cindy and longtime friend, Dr. Jeff Farr, reflect on their college days at the University of Texas, exploring the vibrant experiences that shaped their lives. They discuss the journey from being carefree students to navigating adulthood, emphasizing the importance of personal growth, relationships, and the impact of sobriety on their lives. Jeff shares his path to academia, highlighting the challenges and lessons learned along the way, while also addressing the significance of setting boundaries and maintaining integrity in both personal and professional realms. In this conversation, Jeff and Cindy explore the complexities of sobriety, personal growth, and the importance of setting boundaries. They discuss how sobriety has influenced Jeff's journey towards authenticity and self-discovery, emphasizing the need to navigate societal expectations and the impact of relationships on personal development. The dialogue reflects on past choices, the lessons learned from sobriety, and the importance of being true to oneself.

E47: Wild Hearts and Grounded Healing: Yoga, Sobriety, and the Power of Community with Amanda Cable, LCDC-I, RYT

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy and her friend Amanda Cable discuss their journeys in sobriety, the importance of community, and the transformative power of yoga and mindfulness. They share personal experiences, including a life-changing trip to Bali, and explore themes of vulnerability, self-trust, and the significance of setting boundaries. Amanda emphasizes the need for self-compassion and non-judgment in the recovery process, encouraging listeners to embrace their journeys with grace and understanding.

E46: Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart - The Courage to Show Up Fully

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 12:51:45 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy explores the concept of self-trust through the lens of vulnerability, courage, and authenticity. She introduces the framework of 'Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart' to discuss how inner strength, vulnerability, and authenticity can coexist and support personal growth. Cindy shares her personal journey of reclaiming trust in herself, particularly in relation to her decision to live alcohol-free. The conversation emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries while remaining open and compassionate, and the need for integration of these qualities in daily life.

E45: Peace Over Closure: The Power of Showing Up for Yourself

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy explores the complexities of female friendships, particularly focusing on the pain of unreciprocated efforts in repairing friendships. She discusses the emotional impact of friendship ruptures, the importance of self-compassion, and how to take control of one's efforts and intentions in relationships. The episode emphasizes the significance of making peace without closure and the need to honor oneself in the face of changing dynamics in friendships.

E44: Mending the Messy: Repair and Boundaries in Female Friendships

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 15:54:46 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy delves into the complexities of female friendships, focusing on the themes of rupture, repair, and boundaries. She emphasizes the importance of understanding attachment styles and how they influence our interactions. The conversation highlights the necessity of open communication and mutual curiosity in repairing relationships, as well as the significance of setting boundaries to maintain emotional health. Cindy encourages listeners to reflect on their own friendships and consider how they can navigate conflicts and establish healthier dynamics.

E43: Clingy, Distant, Secure? How Attachment Styles Shape Our Friendships

Wed, 11 Jun 2025 01:19:25 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Sarah and Cindy delve into attachment theory and its profound impact on friendships. They explore the different attachment styles—secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized—and how these styles influence relationships throughout life. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding one's attachment style, the role of safe friendships in emotional well-being, and the necessity of setting healthy boundaries. The hosts also discuss the dynamics of jealousy in friendships and the potential for healing and growth through secure attachments.

E42: Where Did Everybody Go? Exploring the Friendship Fade

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy and Sarah explore the concept of 'friendship fade,' discussing its emotional impact, the confusion of ambiguous loss, and the importance of communication in maintaining friendships. They delve into the dynamics of toxic friendships, the grieving process associated with losing friends, and the necessity of having honest conversations to find closure. The episode emphasizes the significance of recognizing when friendships are no longer healthy and encourages listeners to reflect on their own experiences with friendship changes.

E41: Not Like the Movies: Redefining Female Friendship

Tue, 27 May 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy explores the complexities of female friendships in adulthood, addressing the myths perpetuated by pop culture and the realities of maintaining meaningful connections. She discusses the importance of honesty, the challenges of navigating friendship dynamics, and the necessity of letting go of relationships that no longer serve us. Through personal anecdotes and insights, Cindy encourages listeners to reflect on their own friendships and the evolving nature of these connections as they age.

E40: We Can Do Hard Things: Truth, Connection, and Glennon Doyle - Deconstructing Adult Friendships

Wed, 21 May 2025 21:44:03 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy reflects on her recent experience attending Glennon Doyle's book tour, discussing the insights gained about friendship, truth, and community. She emphasizes the importance of being both held and free in relationships, the challenges of adult friendships, and the need for vulnerability to foster deeper connections. The conversation sets the stage for an upcoming series on redefining female friendship, encouraging listeners to explore their own relationships and the dynamics within them.

E39: Holding Space: Navigating Friendship and Self in Adulthood

Tue, 13 May 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary:

In this episode, Sarah and Cindy discuss the challenges of parenting, the importance of self-care, and the dynamics of female friendships as they navigate their personal experiences. They share insights on emotional support, vulnerability, and the evolution of relationships in adulthood, while also touching on the upcoming retreat focused on community building and healing.

Takeaways:

Parenting can be a rough season, requiring self-care and support.

Taking time for self-care is essential for mental health.

Friendship dynamics change as we age, often becoming more complex.

Emotional support from friends is crucial during tough times.

Vulnerability in friendships fosters deeper connections.

Authenticity is key in maintaining healthy relationships.

Navigating anxiety and emotional labor is a common struggle for women.

It's important to recognize when friendships are no longer serving you.

Community building through retreats can provide healing and connection.

Future discussions will focus on the intricacies of female friendships.

E38: Finding Balance: A Mother-Son Conversation on Comfort Zones and Campus Life

Mon, 05 May 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this heartfelt episode, Cindy Payne and her son Ethan discuss his experiences during his freshman year at Texas Tech University. They explore themes of personal growth, academic success, and the challenges of navigating college life, especially in the context of recovery from substance use. Ethan shares insights on stepping out of his comfort zone, the importance of self-advocacy, and how he has managed his ADHD in a college setting. The conversation also touches on the dynamics of their relationship as mother and son, the impact of distance, and advice for new college students, particularly those in recovery.

E37: Mood Swings and Milestones: Unmasking Mental Health in Menopause with Mandi Dixon, LPC, NCC

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of the Unmasking Podcast, host Cindy Payne speaks with licensed professional counselor Mandy Dixon about the mental health aspects of menopause and perimenopause. They discuss the hormonal changes that occur during this stage of life, the impact on mental health, and the importance of understanding and addressing these changes. Mandy shares her personal journey and professional insights, emphasizing the need for women to advocate for themselves and seek support. The conversation also touches on the importance of setting boundaries, managing stress, and the role of hormone therapy in alleviating symptoms. Listeners are encouraged to embrace this transitional phase as an opportunity for growth and empowerment.

Takeaways

Women often feel like they are not themselves during perimenopause.

Hormonal changes can lead to mood swings and anxiety.

It's important to recognize the physical symptoms of perimenopause.

Women should advocate for their health and seek answers.

Setting boundaries is crucial for mental well-being.

Men can play a supportive role during their partner's menopause.

Stress management is key to navigating this life stage.

There are effective treatments available for menopause symptoms.

Women can experience liberation and clarity during midlife.

Community and support are essential for women in this phase.

E36: Embracing Female Solo Travel: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Fri, 18 Apr 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy shares her transformative experience of traveling solo to Morocco, reflecting on the challenges and insights gained from stepping outside her comfort zone. She discusses the importance of facing fears, the significance of midlife transitions, and the lessons learned from her journey, including the value of connection, kindness, and self-discovery.

Takeaways:

1. Do it afraid: Embrace fear as part of growth.

2. Pivot versus panic: Adapt to unexpected changes.

3. Less is more: Simplify your travel and life.

4. People are inherently good and kind: Trust in human connection.

5. We are more alike than different: Shared experiences unite us.

6. Female solo traveling is often safer than portrayed: Challenge societal fears.

7. Lean into rituals and customs: Stay curious about new cultures.

8. Be willing to laugh at yourself: Embrace imperfections.

9. Alone is not the same as lonely: Find joy in your own company.

10. Do your research and then allow yourself to get lost: Flexibility enhances experiences.

E35: Unmasking Menopause: A New Era of Awareness with Mary Turner, MSN, WHNP, MSCP

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this enlightening conversation, Mary Turner, a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner, shares her journey in nursing and her passion for women's health, particularly in the context of menopause. The discussion highlights the evolving understanding of menopause, the importance of hormone therapy, and the emotional and psychological changes women experience during this transition. With a focus on education and awareness, Mary emphasizes the need for women to seek help early and the role of social media in spreading knowledge about menopause. In this conversation, Mary Turner and Cindy Payne discuss the complexities of menopause, including hormonal changes, mental health impacts, and the importance of personalized treatment. They emphasize the need for patience and curiosity in navigating symptoms, the significance of sleep hygiene, and holistic approaches for women, especially those with a history of cancer. The discussion also highlights the importance of support systems, education for partners, and resources available for women seeking help during this transitional phase.

E34: Beyond the Baby Blues: Moms, Mental Health, & the Postpartum Experience

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy and Sarah delve into the complexities of postpartum experiences, discussing the differences between postpartum blues and postpartum depression. They share personal stories, emphasizing the importance of support systems, self-advocacy, and understanding the hormonal changes that accompany motherhood. The conversation also touches on the need for better postpartum care and the challenges faced by mothers in navigating their mental health. As they look ahead, they express excitement about discussing menopause and the ongoing journey of women's health.

E33: Unmasking Birth Stories: Healing Through Generational Trauma

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking with Cindy and Sarah, the hosts delve into their personal birth stories, exploring the impact of generational trauma on their experiences. They discuss the complexities of pregnancy, the trauma associated with childbirth, and the often unspoken challenges of postpartum life. Through their candid conversation, they highlight the importance of understanding one's birth narrative and the need for supportive care during and after pregnancy.

E32: Part 2 with Elise Dean: Be Bloomed-The Power of Motherhood and Resilience

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 04:23:08 -0400

Summary

In this engaging conversation, Elise Dean shares her journey of motherhood, entrepreneurship, and personal growth. She discusses the inspiration behind her coaching business, Be Bloomed, and how her experiences with chronic illness and being a single mother have shaped her perspective. The discussion delves into the challenges of balancing motherhood and business, the impact of social media criticism, and the importance of compassion in both therapy and coaching. Elise emphasizes the significance of self-discovery, resilience, and the power of community support as she navigates her new chapter in life.

E31: Pt. 1: Against the Odds: Elise Dean Talks Resilience, IVF, and Finding Strength in Motherhood

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Elise Dean shares her profound journey through chronic health issues, infertility, and motherhood. She discusses her struggles with Lyme disease, the challenges of IVF, and the emotional toll of invisible illnesses. Elise emphasizes the importance of resilience, self-advocacy, and trusting one's intuition while navigating the complexities of motherhood and personal growth. The conversation highlights the need for support systems and the reality of postpartum experiences, particularly for those who have faced infertility.

E30: Over 40 and Unstoppable: Celebrating Self-Love, Resilience, and Beauty Through Photography with Carmen Rose

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, hosts Cindy and Sarah welcome photographer Carmen Rose to discuss her inspiring project, the Over 40 Project, which celebrates the beauty and resilience of women over 40. Carmen shares her creative journey, the importance of creating a comfortable environment for women during photo shoots, and the themes of resilience and growth that emerged from her work with participants. The conversation highlights the impact of self-perception, the role of media in shaping women's images, and the significance of celebrating individuality and personal stories through photography.

E29: Breaking the Silence: Exploring Sex, Desire, Vulnerability, and Intimacy with Dr. Edita Ruzgyte

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Dr. Edita Ruzgyte discusses the complexities of intimacy and sexuality, exploring cultural influences, the role of shame and vulnerability, and the importance of communication in relationships. She emphasizes the need for individuals to understand their own sexuality and desires, and how therapists can help navigate these discussions. The conversation highlights the societal fears surrounding pleasure and the challenges of addressing desire discrepancies in intimate relationships. In this engaging conversation, the speakers delve into the complexities of sexual desire discrepancies, the role of art in understanding sexuality, and the importance of communication in relationships. They explore how power dynamics affect intimacy, the emotional connections that influence sexual desire, and the necessity of creating safe spaces for vulnerability. The discussion emphasizes the need for ongoing conversations about sex and the impact of societal norms on personal relationships.

E28: Creativity, Play, and Self-Love: Embracing Joy Beyond Expectations

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, hosts Cindy and Sarah explore the themes of creativity and play for adults, reflecting on their experiences in January and discussing the pressures of societal expectations, especially around Valentine's Day. They emphasize the importance of finding joy in simple creative activities, the role of community in fostering creativity, and the impact of alcohol on social interactions. The conversation also touches on personal growth through creative outlets like baking and crafting, and they share insights on how to engage in creativity without breaking the bank. As they look forward to February, they highlight the significance of self-love and connection.

E27: Hands in the Clay: Jen Miller's Story of Unmasking the Creative Force of Pottery

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy and Sarah engage in a heartfelt conversation with Jen Miller about her journey into pottery and the profound impact of creativity on mental health. They explore how art serves as a therapeutic outlet, especially during challenging times like the COVID-19 pandemic. Jen shares her experiences of finding community through pottery, the importance of authenticity in creative expression, and how engaging in art can help manage anxiety and foster emotional release. The discussion emphasizes the significance of play and creativity in navigating the complexities of motherhood and personal identity. In this conversation, Jen Miller, Cindy Payne, and Sarah Vaught explore the therapeutic benefits of art, particularly pottery, and its connection to mental health and community. They discuss how engaging with clay and nature can provide grounding and healing, the importance of handmade art in creating connections, and the role of community in supporting personal growth and creativity. The conversation highlights the significance of shared interests in building relationships and navigating life's challenges, especially for introverts.

E26: From Graphic Design to Mental Health Advocacy - Karley Hill's Story of Healing through Creativity and Connection

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Karley Hill shares her journey from graphic design to freelancing, emphasizing the importance of creativity in mental health. She discusses her personal struggles with ADHD and depression, the impact of social media on mental health perceptions, and the significance of finding creative outlets. Karley also highlights the lessons learned about healing, the importance of self-care, and her new apparel line aimed at promoting mental health awareness.

E25: The Power of Play and Creativity in Adulthood

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking with Cindy and Sarah, the hosts discuss the significance of embracing play and creativity in the new year. They reflect on personal experiences and the importance of reducing expectations, fostering curiosity, and rediscovering the joy of play as adults. The conversation also touches on travel as a form of play and the need to shift from rigid thinking to a more playful exploration of life. The episode emphasizes the importance of self-care through creativity and the intrinsic motivation that comes from engaging in activities that bring joy.

E24: The Crappy, The Happy, and What's in Store for 2025

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy and Sarah reflect on the highs and lows of the past year, discussing personal challenges, health scares, and the importance of processing difficult emotions. They share their experiences with family dynamics, the intensity of life, and the joy found in small moments. The conversation also touches on their plans for the future, including the podcast's growth and upcoming retreats.

E23: The Complexities of Grief: Insights from a Therapist

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Sarah Vaught and Bryna Talamantez discuss the complexities of grief, particularly in children and adolescents. Brenna shares her personal experiences with loss and how it shaped her career as a licensed marriage and family therapist. They explore the prevalence of child grief, the importance of language when discussing death, and the various ways to honor and remember loved ones. The conversation emphasizes the need for consistent support and understanding in navigating grief, as well as the significance of creating meaningful rituals to celebrate the lives of those who have passed.

E22: Navigating Grief and Loss through the Holidays with Licensed Professional Counselors, Mark and Vanessa Hundley

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy Payne speaks with Mark and Vanessa Hunley about their experiences in grief counseling, the importance of understanding grief and loss, and how to navigate these feelings, especially during the holiday season. They share personal stories, misconceptions about grief, and practical strategies for coping with loss. The conversation emphasizes the need for social connections and the unique journeys individuals take through grief.

E 21: Straddling the Tension between Grief and Gratitude this Holiday Season

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this heartfelt conversation, Cindy and Sarah explore the complex interplay between grief and gratitude, especially during the holiday season. They share personal stories of loss, the challenges of navigating grief while parenting, and the importance of finding joy amidst sorrow. The discussion highlights the significance of creating new traditions, honoring memories, and the necessity of humor in coping with loss. They emphasize that while grief is a heavy burden, it can coexist with moments of joy and gratitude, encouraging listeners to embrace their feelings and do what makes them happy.

E20: Navigating Boomer Burnout: Rebecca Sheinberg's Personal Journey of Trauma to Triumph

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 00:42:20 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, hosts Sarah Vaught and Cindy Payne welcome Sarah's mother, Rebecca Sheinberg, to discuss the themes of Boomer Burnout, childhood trauma, resilience, and creativity. Rebecca shares her personal story of growing up in a tumultuous environment, the impact of her childhood experiences on her health, and how she navigated relationships and boundaries throughout her life. The conversation highlights the importance of recognizing burnout, especially in parenting, and emphasizes the power of finding joy and purpose in life despite challenges.

E19: Unpacking Burnout: A Deep Dive with Amelia Nagoski, DMA and Co-Author of Burnout: The Secret of Unlocking the Stress Cycle

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 18:22:52 -0400

Summary

In this enlightening conversation, Amelia Nagoski discusses the concept of burnout, its emotional and physiological impacts, and the importance of understanding stress cycles. She shares her personal journey of navigating identity, gender dynamics, and the experience of masking, particularly in the context of being a woman in a male-dominated field. The discussion emphasizes the necessity of self-compassion, the significance of rest, and the healing power of music. Amelia also introduces the concept of Human Giver Syndrome, exploring how societal expectations can lead to emotional exhaustion. The conversation concludes with practical advice for listeners on rewriting their origin stories and embracing their true selves.

E18: Running Towards Joy and Healing from Burnout with Jeanny Gallo, Yoga Instructor and Wellness Advocate

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 11:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this engaging conversation, Cindy Payne interviews Jeanny Gallo, a passionate yoga teacher and wellness advocate. Jeanny shares her journey from a career in fashion to discovering her true calling in fitness and wellness. They discuss the importance of mindful movement, recognizing burnout, and the transformative power of yoga. Jeanny emphasizes the need for self-care, communication in relationships, and the joy of adventures. The conversation highlights the lessons learned from personal challenges, including living with hearing loss, and the significance of pursuing joy and authenticity in life.

E17: Exploring the Male Experience of Anxiety and Burnout with Cindy's Husband, Eric Payne

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy Payne hosts her husband Eric Payne to discuss anxiety and burnout from a male perspective. They explore Eric's background, the impact of achievement on mental health, and the differences in how men and women process emotions. The conversation delves into the symptoms of burnout, the importance of emotional processing, and the challenges of navigating new beginnings in entrepreneurship. Eric shares insights on managing anxiety and the significance of support systems in overcoming mental health challenges.

E16: Cindy and Sarah's Anxiety Evolution

Tue, 22 Oct 2024 02:35:43 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Sarah and Cindy discuss their personal experiences with anxiety, reflecting on insights gained from previous guests. They explore the impact of anxiety on women, particularly in the context of motherhood, and share coping mechanisms and support systems that have helped them. The conversation also touches on the role of medication and therapy in managing anxiety, the importance of self-compassion, and the evolving understanding of mental health in parenting. They conclude with thoughts on future discussions and the significance of navigating these challenges together.

E15: Unmasking Anxiety with Ashley Igo, LPC: A Journey of Resiliency and Healing

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, hosts Cindy and Sarah welcome Ashley Igo, a licensed professional counselor, to discuss her journey with anxiety, trauma, and resilience. Ashley shares her personal experiences with trauma from a young age, including a tragic train accident that shaped her life. The conversation delves into the importance of therapy, particularly EMDR, in processing trauma and the role of parenting in fostering resilience in children. Ashley emphasizes the significance of community support and advocacy, particularly through her work with the Lauren Kennedy Scruggs Foundation, which provides prosthetic coverage for those in need. The episode highlights the healing power of animals and the importance of nurturing emotional intelligence in children.

E14: Unmasking with Ann Nickel, LPC: Dealing with Anxiety from an Unexpected Diagnosis

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of the Unmasking Podcast, hosts Cindy and Sarah welcome Anne Nicol, a counselor who shares her personal journey with anxiety stemming from her breast cancer diagnosis. The conversation explores the complexities of managing anxiety during and after treatment, the importance of community support, and the empowerment that comes from prioritizing self-care. Anne discusses her experiences as a therapist and how her journey has shaped her practice, particularly in working with women facing similar challenges. The episode emphasizes the need for open conversations about mental health and the importance of acknowledging one's feelings.

E13: Unmasking: Q&A with Cindy and Sarah

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking with Cindy and Sarah, the hosts reflect on their back-to-school series, discussing key takeaways from their guests and the challenges of parenting neurodivergent children. They delve into the anxiety that often accompanies the transition back to school and the expectations placed on parents. The conversation also touches on the difficulties of being a therapist while managing personal struggles, emphasizing the importance of self-care and the power of friendship in navigating these challenges.

E12: Unmasking: Back-to-School with Parent Coach, Kim Muench: Supporting the Independence of Emerging Adult Children

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of the Unmasking Podcast, Cindy and Sarah engage with Kim Minch, a certified parenting coach, to discuss the challenges of parenting emerging adults. Kim shares her personal journey, including her experiences with her son's addiction and the lessons learned along the way. The conversation delves into the concept of 'failure to launch,' the importance of setting boundaries, and the impact of technology on parenting. Kim emphasizes the need for parents to support their children's independence while also addressing their own emotional health. The episode concludes with practical tips for proactive parenting and the importance of fostering resilience in children.

E11: Unmasking Back-to-School with Karen Jones, M.E.d., LPC-S: Empowerment through Animal-Assisted Therapy

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode of Unmasking, Cindy Payne interviews Karen Jones, a counselor specializing in animal-assisted therapy. They discuss Karen's journey into counseling, the role of her therapy dog Deuce, and the challenges faced by parents of neurodivergent children. The conversation also covers the importance of early intervention in mental health, the pressures on teens and college students, and the need for empowerment through resources. Karen shares insights on navigating school systems and the misconceptions surrounding high school and college paths. The episode concludes with Karen's hopes for the future of her practice, Golden Paws Counseling.

E10: Unmasking Back-to-School with Cindy's son, Ethan Payne: Navigating the Transition from High School to College, A Journey of Personal Growth

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 10:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Ethan Payne shares his experience transitioning from high school to college, particularly focusing on his journey of sobriety and the support he has received at Texas Tech University. He discusses the recovery program at the university, the challenges he faced leaving home and graduating high school, and how he has been able to excel academically by applying himself and utilizing the support available to him. Ethan also talks about the accommodations he received for his ADHD and the individualized support he has received from professors. He highlights the fun aspects of college life, such as game days and the recreational center. The conversation explores the themes of sobriety, communication, and personal growth. Ethan discusses the benefits of being sober in college and the importance of finding a supportive community. Cindy shares her struggle with communication and finding the right balance of support for her son. The conversation highlights the importance of letting go and allowing young adults to navigate their own lives. Ethan emphasizes the value of taking advantage of resources and stepping out of one's comfort zone. Both Ethan and Cindy express their appreciation for each other and the growth they have experienced together.

E9: Unmasking Back-to-School with Tessa Knickerbocker, LPC: Supporting Adolescent Mental Health through Open Communication and Understanding vs. Fear

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 23:57:17 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy and Sarah interview Tessa Knickerbocker, a middle school and high school teacher, counselor, and parent. They discuss the challenges and joys of parenting adolescents and the importance of supporting their mental health. Tessa emphasizes the need for curiosity over judgment when understanding and guiding adolescents. She also highlights the significance of creating a safe space for kids to express their emotions and helping them navigate social pressures. Tessa shares her personal experiences and insights as both an educator and a parent. In this conversation, Cindy, Sarah, and Tessa discuss parenting during the middle and high school years. They talk about the importance of allowing children to be themselves and not imposing unnecessary expectations. They also discuss the challenges of social media and offer advice on how to navigate it. The conversation emphasizes the importance of open communication, understanding, and creating a safe space for children to express themselves.

E8: Unmasking Back-to-School with Kathy Riojas, MS, LPC: Honesty, Advocacy, and Support for Parents of Neurodivergent Children

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 11:16:30 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy Payne sits down with her friend Kathy Riojas, a parent of both neurodivergent and neurotypical children. Kathy shares her experience as a mom and a licensed professional counselor, discussing the joys and challenges of parenting in the autism community. She talks about her background in public education and her transition to becoming a school counselor and later an LPC. Kathy also opens up about her complicated relationship with autism and the importance of being honest about the challenges and emotions that come with it. In this conversation, Kathy Riojas, a licensed professional counselor and mother of a neurodivergent child, discusses the challenges and joys of parenting a child with special needs. She emphasizes the importance of finding a community of support and being vulnerable about the difficulties of parenting. Kathy also shares her principles for staying motivated and caring for oneself as a parent. She highlights the benefits of It's a Sensory World, a specialized private school and nonprofit organization that provides sensory-based education and support for neurodivergent children. Kathy encourages parents to trust themselves and seek out resources and information to navigate the educational system and plan for their child's future.

E7: Unmasking: Back-to-School Series

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy and Sarah discuss their experiences with back-to-school season. Cindy reflects on her journey as a parent and the challenges of finding the balance between overcompensating and empowering her children. Sarah shares her nervousness about her daughter starting kindergarten and the excitement surrounding the new school experience. They also touch on the pressure parents feel to make everything perfect and the different ways of preparing children for school. Overall, the conversation highlights the mixed emotions and adjustments that come with the back-to-school season. The conversation revolves around the experience of sending children back to school and the mixed emotions that parents go through. Sarah shares her bittersweet feelings as her daughter starts school full-time, while Cindy reflects on her own experiences as a parent. They discuss the challenges of finding the right school for neurodivergent children and the grief that comes with letting go. They also preview upcoming episodes in their back-to-school series, which will cover various perspectives on parenting and education.

E6: Unmasking Trauma Q & A and ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Study

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 01:58:10 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy and Sarah answer questions about trauma and discuss the relationship between trauma and dissociation. They explain that dissociation is a common experience that everyone goes through when their brain and body become overwhelmed. They also discuss how trauma can lead to more extreme forms of dissociation. They emphasize the importance of understanding dissociation and educating people about it. They also talk about trauma symptoms in adults and children, including mood disorders, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, physical symptoms, and meltdowns. They highlight the need to recognize and validate these symptoms and provide strategies for grounding and calming the body. In this conversation, Sarah and Cindy discuss the importance of recognizing and validating emotions, especially in children. They talk about the hand model of the brain and how to regulate emotions by engaging the prefrontal cortex. They also discuss the ACE study, which explores the impact of adverse childhood experiences on health and well-being. They emphasize the importance of trauma-informed care and the role of protective factors in building resilience.

E5: Unmasking Trauma: Karla Beaman, LCSW on Using Brainspotting to Heal from Trauma

Tue, 06 Aug 2024 00:26:30 -0400

Summary:

Karla Beaman, a licensed clinical social worker, specializes in brain spotting therapy to help clients heal from PTSD and complex PTSD. She shares her journey into this second career and the impact of trauma on individuals and relationships. Brain spotting is a therapeutic approach that focuses on eye positions and bilateral stimulation to access and process trauma. Karla emphasizes the importance of attunement and creating a safe space for clients to explore their trauma. She also highlights the role of self-trust and self-compassion in the healing process. Karla's favorite thing about brain spotting is witnessing real healing and seeing clients find connection and love for themselves and their communities.

E4: Unmasking Trauma: What is CPTSD?

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 11:22:35 -0400

Summary

In this episode, Cindy and Sarah discuss complex PTSD and its impact on daily life. They explore the difference between complex PTSD and PTSD, with complex PTSD being caused by multiple traumatic events over time. They emphasize the importance of understanding the role of relationships in complex PTSD and how it affects attachment styles. They also discuss the concept of somatic healing and the need to slow down and develop a sense of discernment in order to heal from trauma. The conversation explores the importance of relinquishing control and finding ways to relax in order to integrate the mind and body. It emphasizes the need to practice small steps of relaxation and dissociation from triggering situations. The hosts discuss the significance of having a supportive therapist or person in your life who can help remove shame and provide guidance in practicing relaxation techniques. They also highlight the value of somatic exercises in building body awareness and releasing tension. The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to notice how their bodies show up in stressful situations and practice releasing tension.

E3: Unmasking Trauma

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 11:44:51 -0400

Summary:

In this episode, Cindy and Sarah introduce the topic of trauma and the concept of unmasking. They emphasize the importance of self-care and being mindful of triggers when discussing intense topics. They discuss the origins of unmasking and its negative connotation in the past, but highlight the positive aspect of unmasking in the context of mental health. They explore the difference between big traumas and little traumas, and how trauma is a subjective experience. They also discuss the role of shame and the reasons why people mask their mental health. They emphasize the importance of empathy and believing the person when supporting someone who has experienced trauma. They touch on the impact of trauma on the brain and the body, and the need for healing and unmasking to create a sense of safety and authenticity.Keywordstrauma, unmasking, self-care, triggers, big trauma, little trauma, shame, mental health, empathy, subjective experience, brain, body, healing, authenticity

Takeaways

Practice self-care and be mindful of triggers when discussing intense topics related to trauma.
Unmasking in the context of mental health is about revealing one's true self and reducing shame.
Trauma is a subjective experience and can be big or little, with both types having an impact on mental health.
Empathy and believing the person are important when supporting someone who has experienced trauma.
Trauma affects the brain and the body, and healing involves addressing both aspects.
Unmasking and healing from trauma can create a sense of safety and authenticity.

The Power of Empathy in Supporting Trauma Survivors
Unmasking Trauma: Exploring Big Trauma vs Little Trauma

"Please practice self-care and be mindful if at any time you're uncomfortable or something has triggered you, please take care of yourself."
"Unmasking in a positive way."
"Trauma is a subjective experience."

E2: Meet Cindy

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 21:33:53 -0400

Summary

In this conversation, Sarah interviews Cindy about her background and her journey of unmasking. Cindy shares how she initially pursued a career in teaching but felt the need to get closer to being able to help others. She went back to graduate school in her 30s and now works as a counselor in private practice. Cindy also opens up about her childhood experiences, including being raised by her grandparents and the impact of her mother's mental illness. She discusses how these experiences led her to develop a masking behavior and the challenges she faced in finding her authentic self. The conversation explores the concept of unmasking oneself and the importance of authenticity in relationships. It discusses the impact of complex PTSD on relationships and the need for compassion and boundaries. The hosts share their personal experiences as mothers and how it has inspired them to unmask themselves. The conversation also touches on the role of shame in masking and the importance of validating children's feelings. The episode ends with an invitation for listeners to identify the people in their lives with whom they can unmask and be authentic.

E1: Meet Sarah

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 21:27:16 -0400

Summary

In this conversation, Sarah shares her background and her work as a therapist. She discusses her collaboration with pediatricians and her focus on play therapy. Sarah also talks about her training in different therapeutic approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy and space therapy. She highlights the challenges faced by neurodivergent children and the importance of providing support for them and their parents. Sarah also opens up about her own childhood experiences, including her role as a caregiver for her brother with special needs and her relationship with her stepfather. Sarah discusses how masking continued to develop throughout her life, from childhood to early adulthood. She shares how she would mask her emotions by doing what she thought she was supposed to do and not showing big emotions. Sarah also talks about the pressure she felt to be perfect and not let anyone down, which led to anxiety and self-criticism. She emphasizes the importance of unmasking and being authentic, both for herself and for her daughter. Sarah reflects on her journey of self-discovery and the support she has received from her parents and close friend, Cindy.

Introducing: Unmasking with Cindy and Sarah

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 21:12:04 -0400

Summary

In the first episode of the Unmasking Podcast, hosts Cindy and Sarah introduce themselves and explain the concept of unmasking. They discuss the logistics of the podcast, including the episode length and topics. They also share their backgrounds as licensed professional counselors and their personal experiences as parents of neurodivergent children. The hosts define masking as the act of concealing one's true emotions and thoughts in order to feel accepted by others. They explore the reasons why people mask and the impact it can have on mental health. The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to reflect on a time when they have felt the need to mask their true selves.