The Patrauma Party - Heal from trauma, improve self worth, and learn to love yourself, dammit

104 - That Self-Doubt Struggle - Low confidence, big shame, negative self-talk—let's switch it up, baby.

Sat, 28 Mar 2026 11:11:00 -0400

Self-doubt can plague us, especially when we come from trauma and abuse. We don't put ourselves out there for the jobs we want, the friendships we're drawn to, the crushes we have. It can be so frustrating (!!!!). But what if we could put some distance between us and that self-doubt? What if we could poke holes in the lies it tells us? What if we could learn more about what's behind it? Hop in, hunny, that's what this episode is all about.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

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103 - Not Feeling Chosen - Feeling unwanted, unseen, or not valued in childhood is so painful—let's get you healing, hunny.

Sat, 14 Mar 2026 11:11:00 -0400

Not feeling chosen by your caregivers is such a painful experience that it gets tucked into our subconscious, where it thrives without us even knowing! It's just hanging out in the shadows of our minds, making (usually not great) decisions for us and making us feel sad as hell. In this episode, we get into the impact of not being chosen in childhood—how it shows up in relationships, why it can be so hard to know that's even true for us, and how we can start to heal.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

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102 - Criticizing Your Body - Disordered eating, preoccupation about weight, anti-aging obsessions—how do we just feel good in our bodies?

Sat, 28 Feb 2026 11:11:00 -0400

Maybe we're constantly dieting or abstaining from eating, maybe we're obsessively counting calories or working out, maybe we're spending crazy amounts of money on anti-aging procedures or products, or maybe we're just looking in the mirror and talking mad sh*t to ourselves. In this episode, I welcome therapist Gina Gratza to the show to talk through what's at the core of criticizing our bodies (hint: it has nothing to do with our actual bodies), and how we can return to loving the bodies we're in.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

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101 - How to Be Authentic - For a lot of us, authenticity isn't easy, but you CAN bounce back.

Sat, 14 Feb 2026 11:11:00 -0400

Everyone talks about authenticity, and there's even a lot of shame for not "being real." But when you come from abuse and/or emotionally immature parents, it's actually really complicated to know how to be authentic. People-pleasing, fawning, emotional shutdown, freeze, and other trauma responses (often results of CPTSD) prevent us from even knowing how we feel, much less being able to express it. In this episode, licensed therapist Carli Kilbourne joins the pod to talk about how we get back to what's true for US.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

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100 - How to Know When People Are Safe - How do we know when to trust people? Let's dig in.

Sat, 31 Jan 2026 11:11:00 -0400

Unsafe people aren't going to walk up to you and tell you they're unsafe. But there are lots of signs if you know what to look for. Unfortunately, many of us had that internal alarm system groomed out of us as kids so that we could survive our unsafe parents and caregivers, and we literally don't know what to look for. Until now.

TW: This episode talks about acts of violence ICE has enacted on Americans.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

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99 - Emotionally Immature Parents - Narcissism, refusal to apologize, selfishness, lack of empathy—these cut deep. Let's look at the impact and how we heal.

Sat, 17 Jan 2026 14:22:00 -0400

When we're taught that "love" is conditional on outside approval, when we're taught to fear authority rather than stand in our personal power, when we're expected to provide unwavering loyalty and praise, even at our own expense—we come into adulthood deeply emotionally debilitated. Emotionally immature parents and caregivers leave lasting wounds on their children—a fear of rejection and abandonment, fawning and people pleasing, a lack of boundaries and sense of agency, trouble with relationships and attachment, and maybe worst of all, a deep confusion about what love is. In this episode, associate counselor Taylor Pearl joins me to get into emotionally immature parents—the core traits, the impact, and the healing we need.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

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98 - Working with Depression - A depressive episode can take you tf out—let's look at the changes we can make to find peace of mind.

Sat, 03 Jan 2026 11:11:00 -0400

It's my first epi of 2026! And we're getting into depression. Depressive episodes are so painful. You might think you'll never bounce back, and even worse, you might feel like you have to hide how sad you are so people won't reject you. In this episode, I spill the tea on my Christmas depressive episode and get into what I USED to do, what I did differently this time, and what I learned in the process.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

97 - Disorganized Attachment - AKA fearful avoidant attachment style can be so hard to navigate—let's get clarity.

Sat, 20 Dec 2025 11:11:00 -0400

Our conversation on attachment styles continues! This week, we're getting into disorganized attachment style, aka fearful avoidant. One of the reasons this style is so hard to understand is that it's rooted in contradictory desires—wanting something while simultaneously fearing it. It can be as confusing for the people with this attachment style as it is for the people in relationship with them. Holistic therapist and podcaster Hayden Rosato joins me to talk us through how this attachment style differs from anxious and avoidant, what beliefs come up for those with disorganized attachment, how it impacts relationships, and how we start the healing process.

Looking for more episodes on attachment styles? Try episode 6—it's all about the anxious/avoidant relationship trap. Episode 95 is about avoidant attachment. You can also try any of these episodes—they're all about anxious attachment: episode 14, episode 88, and episode 89.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

96 - Smiling Depression Is a Whole Ass Nightmare - Performing happiness, faking happiness—whatever you call it, it steals your life. Let's heal, hunny.

Sat, 06 Dec 2025 11:11:00 -0400

How many people are walking around performing success—achieving, following the "rules," doing everything that's "supposed" to make you happy on paper, only to find themselves depressed, disconnected, and dissatisfied? Why do we do this? What's at the root of it? And how do we reroute our lives? In this episode, Danielle Mcgeough, professor, speaker, and transformation strategist, joins me to dig into the cause of performing happiness and how we heal.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

95 - Avoidant Attachment Style: Real talk—emotional intimacy isn't easy. Let's build effective communication skills & get your relationships back on track.

Sat, 22 Nov 2025 11:11:00 -0400

This is a continuation of the attachment style series! So many of us are avoidant *and don't even know it.* We avoid conflict, people please, shut down, and/or chronically fail to voice our needs in relationships (yes! this is what a fear of intimacy looks like!). So how do we go from avoidant attachment to a healthier, more secure attachment? In this episode, Dr. Diane Mueller, ND, DAOM, LAc, joins me to dive into how we got here, how it hurts us (aka it's literally impacting your health), and how we start to heal.

Want to work with Dr. Mueller? Check out her Eternal Honeymoon course! It's for couples who want to reignite the sexual spark. You'll get solutions and strategies for improving libido and drive (read: having mind-blowing sex again). Great for singles who want to improve their sexy-time communicaton skills, too!

Looking for more episodes on attachment styles? Try episode 6—it's all about the anxious/avoidant relationship trap. You can also try any of these episodes—they're all about anxious attachment: episode 14, episode 88, and episode 89.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

94 - Talkin' 'Bout Reactive Defense AKA Reactive Abuse - Let's look at how we show up around abuse, mistreatment, & chronic defensiveness (ahem, emotionally immature parents) and reclaim our power.

Sat, 08 Nov 2025 11:11:00 -0400

Have you heard about reactive defense, AKA reactive abuse? This is super important to know about if you've been in relationships with abusers (your family counts!), especially when narcissistic abuse is at play and YES, even chronic defensiveness. We're getting clear on what this looks like and how to get off the hamster wheel so we feel focused, clear, and powerful and not like we're about to lose our damn minds.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

93 - Human Design for People Pleasers - For all you human design types & newbies alike, we're getting a map into your people pleasing tendencies AND learning how to heal it.

Sat, 25 Oct 2025 11:11:00 -0400

It's the 3rd epi in my people-pleasing series! I have been DYING to know what human design really is, how it works, and if it can help us with people pleasing. Turns out, not only can it help, it can give you a map that shows exactly where your people pleasing started, how it works, and how you heal it. Human design expert and confidence coach Kelly Hughes joins me to show us the way.

Want to work with Kelly? Check out her incredible courses, and use code PATRAUMAPARTY at check-out for 10% off:

Looking for more episodes on people-pleasing? Try epi 91, epi 92, epi 87, epi 86, or epi 30.

For more on boundary setting, try epi 10, epi 46, or epi 61.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

92 - The People Pleaser Guide: How to Deal with Conflict - Less people pleasing, more conflict resolution strategies for standing in power and authenticity, bb.

Sat, 11 Oct 2025 11:33:00 -0400

This is episode 2 in my people-pleasing deep-dive! One of our biggest fears as people-pleasers is speaking up for ourselves during conflict—it can literally make us feel like we're going to pass out from anxiety! So how do we move from the knee-jerk "Sounds good, no worries!" to a thoughtful, authentic: "Actually, here's what I need..."? In this epi, psychologist, author, relationship expert, and podcast host Dr. Tracy Dalgleish joins me to get into what's underlying our people-pleasing patterns, why people-pleasing actually leads to MORE conflict, and how we heal.

Looking for more episodes on people-pleasing? Try epi 91, epi 87, epi 86, or epi 30.

For more on boundary setting, try epi 10, epi 46, or epi 61.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

91 - People Pleasing at Work Gotcha Down? If you're a people pleaser from 9 to 5, it's time to start setting boundaries so you can take your power back.

Sat, 27 Sep 2025 11:11:00 -0400

It's my first in a series on people pleasing! We're looking at it from all angles, starting with people-pleasing at work. We do it to stay safe, even to get ahead in our careers—but it's actually sabotaging our success! The problem is, half the time, we don't even know we're doing it, and the other half, we've people pleased before we even have a chance to think about what we're saying (soooo frustrating)! In this episode, executive coach, TED Talk speaker, and founder of Encourage Coaching, Katie O’Malley, joins me to talk about how we overcome the traumatized thinking that keeps us in people-pleaser mode, so we can set boundaries and take our power back.

Looking for more episodes on people-pleasing? Try epi 87, epi 86, or epi 30.

For more on boundary setting, try epi 10, epi 46, or epi 61.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

Find us on:

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

90 - When Should You End a Relationship? - How get out of toxic connections and into reciprocal, loving relationships as recovering people pleasers and children of gaslighters.

Sat, 13 Sep 2025 11:11:00 -0400

How do you know when it's time to end a friendship, or any relationship for that matter? How do you know when you're just being "dramatic," like your family of origin always told you you were, and when you're self-advocating and standing in your power? How do you balance healthy boundaries with healthy compassion, especially when a person's toxicity is coming from being abused themselves? In this episode, we're doing a deep dive into when it's time to call it quits, so that you can stop feeling drained and disrespected, and start feeling loved and cared for.

Go ⁠⁠here if you'd like one-on-one coaching, a birth chart reading, or a tarot reading with Remy.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

89 - How to Heal Anxious Attachment Style Part II - A deep dive into healing anxious attachment, bc it's time to enjoy secure attachment, babe.

Sat, 30 Aug 2025 11:11:00 -0400

We've all been there—trying to figure out the exact right way to phrase the text so we sound cool and aloof when actually we've been crying for the last two hours. Anxious attachment style can suuuckkkkk so bad because it's rooted in deep feelings of not being good enough, not trusting people, and not loving ourselves. But what if I told you there's nothing wrong with YOU? Not just to hype you up (which, I'm your forever hype girl), but literally, technically - anxious attachment is a *healthy* response to a *really unhealthy* situation. You're not f*cked up, you're just wounded. In this episode, life coach Jess Taylor joins me to get to the root of healing anxious attachment, so that we can feel freer, more confident, and more excited to live life!

Looking for more on anxious attachment? Check out episode 14.

Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.

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Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

88 - Anxious Attachment Style, Breakup Edition - Codependency in relationships can surge in the breakup stage for anxiously attached folks—let's get you out of despair and into thrive mode.

Sat, 16 Aug 2025 11:11:00 -0400

Being anxiously attached in a relationship is hard enough, but anxiously attached during a breakup?? The feelings of abandonment, the hopelessness, the sense that you'll never get your life back—it can be a real codependent spiral. In this episode, we dive into what the breakup process can look like for anxiously attached folks, what lies we tell ourselves in those dark moments, and what we need to know to get back in alignment with our TRUE selves.

Go ⁠⁠here if you'd like one-on-one coaching, a birth chart reading, or a tarot reading with Remy.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

87 - Burnout Recovery 101 - How to break free from people-pleasing and emotional exhaustion (and the subconscious childhood wounds behind it)

Sat, 02 Aug 2025 11:00:00 -0400

A lot of times, we think the antidote to burnout is a nap or a vacay (which, no shade, we love a vacay) but a lot of us are struggling with burnout from our own—often *subconscious*—repeated behaviors like perfectionism, overachieving (in an attempt to feel worthy or valid), people pleasing, or not setting appropriate boundaries. AKA, the call is coming from inside the house. In this episode, I welcome therapist and yoga instructor Amanda Baker to join me as we get into all things burnout—what it looks like, the role our nervous systems play in it, and how we heal.

Go ⁠⁠here if you'd like one-on-one coaching, a birth chart reading, or a tarot reading with Remy.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

86 - Tired of People Pleasing? - How childhood conditioning controls your work, love life, & confidence (and how to finally respect yourself without feeling drained)

Sat, 19 Jul 2025 11:11:00 -0400

Do you ever get mad at yourself because you didn't hold a boundary? Are you SO over what a people pleaser you can be? Has anyone ever told you you need to respect yourself like they were talking to kindergartener and you STILL, to this day, carry that shame around with you? This is your epi, hunny. We're getting into the connection between people pleasing, boundaries, and self respect, and why self respect is actually a lot more complicated than your (kind of rude, TBH) friend realizes.

If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.

Email: patraumaparty@gmail.com

85 - Is My Mom a Narcissist? - This one's for the daughters of narcissistic mothers—and the dudes and non-binary folks—let's dig into the signs of a narcissistic mother, the impact, & how we heal.

Sat, 05 Jul 2025 16:11:00 -0400

Real talk—narcissistic mothers unleash a reign of terror over their kids, and for MANY of us, we don't even realize it for years and years! We may even adore, worship, and endlessly praise our mothers (which is what many narcissistic mothers groom their children to do BTW). The way it impacts our self-worth and ability to set boundaries is WILD. In this epi, I welcome coach and host of the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers podcast, ⁠Matilde Crocini,⁠ to get into what this abuse looks like, how it impacts us, and her 3-step process for recovering from it. (PS you can check out her free self-love practice that she mentions ⁠here⁠. )

If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.

Birth Chart Reading Giveaway Rules!

Leave me a rating and review, screenshot it, post it on your Insta story, and tag me: @thepatraumaparty. If you leave it on Apple, you'll get 3 entries. If you just do a rating on Spotify (since you can't do a review), you'll get 1 entry. Winner announced after July 12th!

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