<![CDATA[Sidebar]]>c7e0b510-b8b5-5264-ae84-8fbbe210c3d7Fri, 13 Mar 2026 18:40:34 +0000Captivate.fmNorth Carolina Lawyer Assistance Programhttps://artwork.captivate.fm/41c9e029-2060-4b6e-a66f-89161b4f8154/OssNBAxajWyfemGK7enmu6jm.jpgSidebarNorth Carolina Lawyer Assistance ProgramNorth Carolina Lawyer Assistance ProgramWelcome to Sidebar, brought to you by North Carolina’s Lawyer Assistance Program, where lawyers help lawyers by sharing their experience, strength, and hope as they delve into their personal journeys of recovery. We’ll initiate and guide the conversation with lawyers and judges, who will share stories, insights, lessons, and tools discovered along the way with the intention of relieving the stress and stigma of talking about how life, mental health, and the practice of law have affected them, both personally and professionally. We encourage you to listen to a few episodes, subscribe to our newsletter, and peruse the resources at www.nclap.org. And, if you know a lawyer who could use a hand, please share this podcast with them today. Remember, at Sidebar…you are not alone, in fact, you are in quite good company. Tune in for the conversations, community, and camaraderie. Stay for the shared hope and humanity you discover.https://www.nclap.org/falseepisodicnopodcastCheck In Before Your Next Check UpCheck In Before Your Next Check UpOn any given day, dealing with a pressing matter may win out over a personal wellness routine. As lawyers and judges, we are trained to think in terms of urgency, risk, and responsibility—frameworks that naturally push less urgent personal health needs to the margins. The good news is that your physical well-being can be supported through small, consistent practices that are achievable even in the midst of demanding caseloads and court schedules. Read full article.

]]>On any given day, dealing with a pressing matter may win out over a personal wellness routine. As lawyers and judges, we are trained to think in terms of urgency, risk, and responsibility—frameworks that naturally push less urgent personal health needs to the margins. The good news is that your physical well-being can be supported through small, consistent practices that are achievable even in the midst of demanding caseloads and court schedules. Read full article.

]]>991b6f52-ca6d-4b72-98a8-a07e5d8077d1Wed, 18 Feb 2026 10:00:00 -040016:02falsefull4747Setting LimitsSetting LimitsIn law, it can be tempting to say yes to every client request, colleague expectation, or organizational demand. Without limits, however, burnout is the likely price. How do you know that you are close to reaching your limit before you actually reach it? Read full article.

]]>In law, it can be tempting to say yes to every client request, colleague expectation, or organizational demand. Without limits, however, burnout is the likely price. How do you know that you are close to reaching your limit before you actually reach it? Read full article.

]]>41219858-4924-4341-90f6-af4bca3b141aFri, 14 Nov 2025 14:00:00 -040017:36falsefull4646Deconstructing Decision DilemmasDeconstructing Decision DilemmasIn search of a “no lose” solution in a “no win” situation? You may be stuck in a decision dilemma. Read full article here.

]]>In search of a “no lose” solution in a “no win” situation? You may be stuck in a decision dilemma. Read full article here.

]]>973c1cc2-09ac-4ac3-9a6f-039ae66e7be2Fri, 25 Jul 2025 11:00:00 -040017:31falsefull4545Make Life More MeaningfulMake Life More MeaningfulAs attorneys and judges, the demands of our profession often leave little room for personal reflection or creative enjoyment. However, dedicating just 15 minutes each night to meaningful activities can have a profound impact on our mental health, resilience, and neural wiring. Small, but intentional acts help create a buffer against stress, promote emotional balance, and fosters a sense of purpose—allowing us to feel more connected to what matters to us while at the same time helping us to recharge and approach our work with renewed energy. Read full article.

]]>As attorneys and judges, the demands of our profession often leave little room for personal reflection or creative enjoyment. However, dedicating just 15 minutes each night to meaningful activities can have a profound impact on our mental health, resilience, and neural wiring. Small, but intentional acts help create a buffer against stress, promote emotional balance, and fosters a sense of purpose—allowing us to feel more connected to what matters to us while at the same time helping us to recharge and approach our work with renewed energy. Read full article.

]]>c8930f4e-ea06-42ab-9fbf-3ddb0b85da1bFri, 14 Mar 2025 16:45:00 -040016:48falsefull4444Three AmigosThree AmigosLAP Volunteers Scott, Andrew and David explore what recovery means in their day-to-day law practices, advice for young attorneys, and the power of friendship.

]]>LAP Volunteers Scott, Andrew and David explore what recovery means in their day-to-day law practices, advice for young attorneys, and the power of friendship.

]]>5f7438b4-cad0-4dcf-8d00-3fc8b9009122Fri, 14 Mar 2025 16:30:00 -040041:34falsefull4343Morning Me RoutineMorning Me RoutineBeginning the day with an intentional routine that supports well-being is an opportunity to regulate the nervous system and to stay regulated for the rest of the day and enhances our ability to navigate the complexities and stressors of our profession. Read the full article.

]]>Beginning the day with an intentional routine that supports well-being is an opportunity to regulate the nervous system and to stay regulated for the rest of the day and enhances our ability to navigate the complexities and stressors of our profession. Read the full article.

]]>1a10204a-68cb-4e44-b77b-32a67403e12aFri, 23 Aug 2024 03:30:00 -040012:55falsefull4242When to Stop Putting on a ShowWhen to Stop Putting on a ShowTrying to be all things, to all people, at all times, this Type-A perfectionist found that the energy required to maintain that façade lead him into a deep clinical depression back in 2005. He reflects on lessons learned personally and professionally over the years. Originally published in 2014, the podcast builds upon the article. Read the original article.

]]>Trying to be all things, to all people, at all times, this Type-A perfectionist found that the energy required to maintain that façade lead him into a deep clinical depression back in 2005. He reflects on lessons learned personally and professionally over the years. Originally published in 2014, the podcast builds upon the article. Read the original article.

]]>2952f33f-158f-46f6-bc39-debf9c1e3e95Fri, 23 Aug 2024 03:15:00 -040020:00falsefull4141Lovely NonsenseLovely NonsenseThis lawyer thought all the talk of “self-care” was lovely nonsense. The measure of her worth was calculated in the amount of tangible work done in a day. Unintentionally stumbling into a hobby, however, where there was no competition or expectation of success brought a sense of lightness to this lawyer’s life not felt in a very long time. Read the full article.

]]>This lawyer thought all the talk of “self-care” was lovely nonsense. The measure of her worth was calculated in the amount of tangible work done in a day. Unintentionally stumbling into a hobby, however, where there was no competition or expectation of success brought a sense of lightness to this lawyer’s life not felt in a very long time. Read the full article.

]]>4d2fc43a-1787-4dd9-af74-cfd0a6435b5cFri, 23 Aug 2024 03:00:00 -040024:54falsefull4040Dismantling Self-DoubtDismantling Self-DoubtDoes self-doubt have you hiding professionally? Self-doubt is common among most people, and even more common among high-achieving professionals like attorneys and judges. Read full article.

]]>Does self-doubt have you hiding professionally? Self-doubt is common among most people, and even more common among high-achieving professionals like attorneys and judges. Read full article.

]]>ccb646f2-720c-4a04-a0c9-ac34558ca4bfThu, 27 Jun 2024 13:30:00 -040011:27falsefull3939Bless These TearsBless These TearsParty down, rock and roll, snort some coke, lose some soul.

17, running wild, bullet proof, foolish child.

Got the grades, got the girl, let's give UNC a whirl.

Read the full article.

]]>Party down, rock and roll, snort some coke, lose some soul.

17, running wild, bullet proof, foolish child.

Got the grades, got the girl, let's give UNC a whirl.

Read the full article.

]]>0f5b80d7-f21f-44c2-80aa-18faa8c93798Fri, 17 May 2024 03:00:00 -040028:36falsefull3838Are you inside your window of tolerance?Are you inside your window of tolerance?"Window of tolerance (WOT)" is a concept that is extremely useful when teaching attorneys and judges stress reduction and emotional regulation tools. It helps conceptualize a zone in which we have the bandwidth to tolerate the stressors and emotions inherent in the legal field. It also helps us identify alternate zones into which we get pulled when we are outside of this bandwidth. Read the full article.

]]>"Window of tolerance (WOT)" is a concept that is extremely useful when teaching attorneys and judges stress reduction and emotional regulation tools. It helps conceptualize a zone in which we have the bandwidth to tolerate the stressors and emotions inherent in the legal field. It also helps us identify alternate zones into which we get pulled when we are outside of this bandwidth. Read the full article.

]]>9a83a7ad-4682-4844-abfe-82840dc29fa5Fri, 01 Mar 2024 03:00:00 -040018:15falsefull3737Frozen Slushies - Not Frozen TweensFrozen Slushies - Not Frozen TweensWhat began as a quick Practice Perspective about the perils of having an attorney as a legal client evolved into a thoughtful reflection on this lawyer’s childhood trauma and resolution.

Read the full article.

]]>What began as a quick Practice Perspective about the perils of having an attorney as a legal client evolved into a thoughtful reflection on this lawyer’s childhood trauma and resolution.

Read the full article.

]]>ee691970-4314-4105-aaed-6eab19c88ad5Fri, 01 Mar 2024 03:00:00 -040038:41truefull3636Transform Limiting BeliefsTransform Limiting BeliefsAre subconscious beliefs informing your decisions in the legal field? Read full article here.

]]>Are subconscious beliefs informing your decisions in the legal field? Read full article here.

]]>7ba32820-195e-43cd-aa49-b266cb60bf44Fri, 10 Nov 2023 03:30:00 -040025:02falsefull3535The Bona FidesThe Bona FidesThis lawyer knew about LAP for years, but she hesitated to reach out because she thought she didn’t have “the bona fides.” She suspected her perfectionism and catastrophic thinking might be an issue, but those issues had been plaguing her since her childhood - long before she ever became a lawyer. Read the full article.

Research study mentioned in this episode related to gender specific findings: Stress, drink, leave: An examination of gender-specific risk factors for mental health problems and attrition among licensed attorneys.

]]>This lawyer knew about LAP for years, but she hesitated to reach out because she thought she didn’t have “the bona fides.” She suspected her perfectionism and catastrophic thinking might be an issue, but those issues had been plaguing her since her childhood - long before she ever became a lawyer. Read the full article.

Research study mentioned in this episode related to gender specific findings: Stress, drink, leave: An examination of gender-specific risk factors for mental health problems and attrition among licensed attorneys.

]]>a15daef6-7330-4d78-866a-6d449c82777cFri, 10 Nov 2023 03:00:00 -040015:20falsefull343450 Lessons for Happy Lawyers50 Lessons for Happy LawyersIn this podcast episode, we interview Nora Rivas, co-author of the 50 Lessons book series. The lessons in the book provide a jumping off point for deeper study and each is aligned with our well-being mission at NC LAP. Ms. Rivas is a consultant in the well-being space. She offers coaching, CLE, and law firm consulting.

]]>In this podcast episode, we interview Nora Rivas, co-author of the 50 Lessons book series. The lessons in the book provide a jumping off point for deeper study and each is aligned with our well-being mission at NC LAP. Ms. Rivas is a consultant in the well-being space. She offers coaching, CLE, and law firm consulting.

]]>eaf70ef9-9139-446c-a8e3-f9d14a579584Fri, 11 Aug 2023 03:00:00 -040047:37falsefull3333Grab an AnchorGrab an AnchorGrabbing an anchor is a simple yet effective tool to release us from our reactive survival strategies and return us to feeling and acting like our best selves. Read the full article.

]]>Grabbing an anchor is a simple yet effective tool to release us from our reactive survival strategies and return us to feeling and acting like our best selves. Read the full article.

]]>9d04568a-302a-456e-b179-914ffd43244eFri, 11 Aug 2023 03:00:00 -040023:01falsefull3232Mastering Your Mind with MantraMastering Your Mind with MantraHave you ever caught yourself thinking something negative over and over again and thought, “Why am I saying that to myself?” What if you could take that same unconscious, unhelpful looping pattern and turn it into a conscious, positive, self-help habit? Welcome to the world of mantra! Read full article here.

]]>Have you ever caught yourself thinking something negative over and over again and thought, “Why am I saying that to myself?” What if you could take that same unconscious, unhelpful looping pattern and turn it into a conscious, positive, self-help habit? Welcome to the world of mantra! Read full article here.

]]>0c828f89-f202-4e7c-ad08-3480c7d373e8Fri, 19 May 2023 03:15:00 -040025:00falsefull3131David vs Goliath - A Defenders PerspectiveDavid vs Goliath - A Defenders PerspectiveLittle David, with his pitiful slingshot, vs. the mighty Goliath. In a nutshell, that's how it felt to me for much of my career as a public defender. Now, with years of recovery in Al-Anon, I realize that so much of my perception of my role as a defender was tied up in my codependency, my need to rescue, and my need to prove myself worthy. Not all defenders feel as I did and not all defenders choose that line of work for the reasons I did. But for those who have, I hope my story can shed some light on the unconscious motivations some of us experience. I have come to learn that, while the job of defender is unquestionably very stressful and tough emotionally, it was my unconscious motivations that were the deep root of my depression and prolonged suffering. Read the full article here.

Surrender, a Cass Robbins Mystery.

Amends, a Cass Robbins Mystery.

]]>Little David, with his pitiful slingshot, vs. the mighty Goliath. In a nutshell, that's how it felt to me for much of my career as a public defender. Now, with years of recovery in Al-Anon, I realize that so much of my perception of my role as a defender was tied up in my codependency, my need to rescue, and my need to prove myself worthy. Not all defenders feel as I did and not all defenders choose that line of work for the reasons I did. But for those who have, I hope my story can shed some light on the unconscious motivations some of us experience. I have come to learn that, while the job of defender is unquestionably very stressful and tough emotionally, it was my unconscious motivations that were the deep root of my depression and prolonged suffering. Read the full article here.

Surrender, a Cass Robbins Mystery.

Amends, a Cass Robbins Mystery.

]]>46ad1d86-b306-41c2-9346-ff28bb6efd3aFri, 19 May 2023 03:00:00 -040036:38falsefull3030Procrastination BusterProcrastination BusterAlison practices real estate law during the day, goes to graduate school at night, and raises young twins around the clock. At times she gets so overwhelmed with the many directions in which she’s pulled that she gets stuck deciding what to do first. In those moments, she finds herself procrastinating. Instead of doing something, she ends up doing nothing of value, like scrolling on her phone or worrying about missing a detail. Read the full article.

]]>Alison practices real estate law during the day, goes to graduate school at night, and raises young twins around the clock. At times she gets so overwhelmed with the many directions in which she’s pulled that she gets stuck deciding what to do first. In those moments, she finds herself procrastinating. Instead of doing something, she ends up doing nothing of value, like scrolling on her phone or worrying about missing a detail. Read the full article.

]]>7d5cdbac-93b3-4a8c-a593-b6f6eec2dd50Wed, 01 Mar 2023 09:00:00 -040021:12falsefull2929Skating Through and Looking GoodSkating Through and Looking GoodThis lawyer skated through life and always managed to get out of trouble. Faced with some real legal consequences, this lawyer worked with LAP to “look good” when the reckoning came but instead wound up with an amazing life. Read full article here.

]]>This lawyer skated through life and always managed to get out of trouble. Faced with some real legal consequences, this lawyer worked with LAP to “look good” when the reckoning came but instead wound up with an amazing life. Read full article here.

]]>aa4f9762-d70c-44b6-8a51-98a34a526775Wed, 01 Mar 2023 08:45:00 -040023:27falsefull2828Ground down? Ground down!Ground down? Ground down!Grounding is a practice that moves your attention out of your thinking mind and into the sensations in your body. Grounding interrupts rumination and is helpful because it dissipates feelings of anxiousness. Read full article here.

]]>Grounding is a practice that moves your attention out of your thinking mind and into the sensations in your body. Grounding interrupts rumination and is helpful because it dissipates feelings of anxiousness. Read full article here.

]]>7e28b48c-5d8e-44fe-8570-9f3a45d30792Thu, 10 Nov 2022 03:30:00 -040018:33falsefull2727Dear PopsDear PopsAfter his father left, this lawyer substituted Hip-Hop artists for father figures. After an arrest in his 1L year, he was referred to LAP. Through spoken word, an open letter to his pops, and a podcast interview, he opens up with profound insight and vulnerability about his inner transformation. Read the full article here.

]]>After his father left, this lawyer substituted Hip-Hop artists for father figures. After an arrest in his 1L year, he was referred to LAP. Through spoken word, an open letter to his pops, and a podcast interview, he opens up with profound insight and vulnerability about his inner transformation. Read the full article here.

]]>20442362-c437-47fa-b6bd-90a5984239f8Thu, 10 Nov 2022 03:15:00 -040031:22falsefull2626Top of His GameTop of His GameRobynn and attorney Derek Dittmar explore the limitations of language for words like “disabled” and “impaired” and what it means to work in a profession not designed for you, as Derek shares his experiences as a blind attorney. Read full transcript here.

]]>Robynn and attorney Derek Dittmar explore the limitations of language for words like “disabled” and “impaired” and what it means to work in a profession not designed for you, as Derek shares his experiences as a blind attorney. Read full transcript here.

]]>f1f49d64-cf5e-4968-86f5-b8ccac34256eThu, 10 Nov 2022 03:00:00 -040026:16falsefull2525Befriend YourselfBefriend YourselfWhere self-criticism erodes self-esteem and impairs our ability to think clearly, befriending ourselves does the opposite while also building self-confidence. Read full article here.

]]>Where self-criticism erodes self-esteem and impairs our ability to think clearly, befriending ourselves does the opposite while also building self-confidence. Read full article here.

]]>a634a55b-e9f4-43e6-be32-2661a3578dcbThu, 07 Jul 2022 15:00:00 -040024:26falsefull2424Eyes on the PrizeEyes on the PrizeI’m ten years old and just won enough money performing in a group at a talent show to buy the toy I’d had my eye on for months. This is how the story of my first regret begins. Read full article here.

]]>I’m ten years old and just won enough money performing in a group at a talent show to buy the toy I’d had my eye on for months. This is how the story of my first regret begins. Read full article here.

]]>8201fcb2-248f-4eca-bf0c-fcb0ba46e85aThu, 07 Jul 2022 14:45:00 -040052:24falsefull2323Season 1 CloseSeason 1 CloseThanks for joining us. Tune in next season.

]]>Thanks for joining us. Tune in next season.

]]>dcfa8ee1-edce-47fe-af1c-e1bacb340116Fri, 25 Mar 2022 03:00:00 -040001:41falsefull2222Everything I Know About SuicideEverything I Know About Suicide“Inspiration” is an odd word to see written in the same sentence as “suicide.” Nevertheless, I was inspired to write this paper by a speaker at a recent webinar on well-being in law. Asked for her proudest accomplishment since joining a big law firm as its wellness officer, the speaker pointed unequivocally to the normalization of words such as “depression,” “anxiety,” and even “suicide.” She felt strongly that if we are ever to move past the pernicious stigma attached to mental health and substance use issues, we have to be able to say the words attached to such challenges out loud, without judgment, without that little pause to check internally whether we are at risk of dropping a hot potato into the conversation. Read full article here.

]]>“Inspiration” is an odd word to see written in the same sentence as “suicide.” Nevertheless, I was inspired to write this paper by a speaker at a recent webinar on well-being in law. Asked for her proudest accomplishment since joining a big law firm as its wellness officer, the speaker pointed unequivocally to the normalization of words such as “depression,” “anxiety,” and even “suicide.” She felt strongly that if we are ever to move past the pernicious stigma attached to mental health and substance use issues, we have to be able to say the words attached to such challenges out loud, without judgment, without that little pause to check internally whether we are at risk of dropping a hot potato into the conversation. Read full article here.

]]>d4c4ac50-babe-4a6a-9279-864a8d32adcfFri, 18 Mar 2022 03:00:00 -040028:42falsefull2121Imposter SyndromeImposter SyndromeThink everybody else has figured out a special something that you have yet to discover? They haven’t. Worried secretly that you are, at best, deficient, at worst, a fraud that has no business practicing law, sitting on the bench, or holding your current position? You aren’t. And you are not alone. In fact, if I had to identify the most consistent complaint or issue that attorneys and judges struggle with, it is imposter syndrome. Read full article here.

]]>Think everybody else has figured out a special something that you have yet to discover? They haven’t. Worried secretly that you are, at best, deficient, at worst, a fraud that has no business practicing law, sitting on the bench, or holding your current position? You aren’t. And you are not alone. In fact, if I had to identify the most consistent complaint or issue that attorneys and judges struggle with, it is imposter syndrome. Read full article here.

]]>013caca3-7586-4450-8e46-ce5bfc616e88Fri, 11 Mar 2022 03:00:00 -040024:10falsefull2020Getting By With a Little Help From Our FriendsGetting By With a Little Help From Our FriendsJoin us for an interview with Warren Savage, senior claims attorney at Lawyers Mutual, as he reflects on what he has seen with lawyer mental health over the years. In this episode Robynn and Warren reference 2013 FEO 8.

]]>Join us for an interview with Warren Savage, senior claims attorney at Lawyers Mutual, as he reflects on what he has seen with lawyer mental health over the years. In this episode Robynn and Warren reference 2013 FEO 8.

]]>993e7262-ba5d-4e37-b6be-f59711df0c8aFri, 04 Mar 2022 03:00:00 -040019:08falsefull1919Humility and the Recovering LawyerHumility and the Recovering LawyerHumility is not a word commonly associated with lawyers, but it is something I learned in recovery, and found essential in the study and practice of law. When I got sober, the “old timers” taught me that humility was the process of being teachable. One old timer said “humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” Read full article here.

]]>Humility is not a word commonly associated with lawyers, but it is something I learned in recovery, and found essential in the study and practice of law. When I got sober, the “old timers” taught me that humility was the process of being teachable. One old timer said “humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” Read full article here.

]]>054d7018-5990-481b-ace8-2d5812354144Fri, 25 Feb 2022 03:00:00 -040023:26falsefull1818Being a Lawyer Saved My LifeBeing a Lawyer Saved My LifeI am a lawyer and an alcoholic, but not necessarily in that order. I was an alcoholic long before I even considered becoming a lawyer. I don’t believe that the inherently stressful nature of the practice of law caused or even exacerbated my alcoholic drinking. I do believe that because I am a lawyer I was offered the care and assistance of the Lawyer Assistance Program of the North Carolina State Bar, and that the program, quite frankly, saved my life. Read full article here.

]]>I am a lawyer and an alcoholic, but not necessarily in that order. I was an alcoholic long before I even considered becoming a lawyer. I don’t believe that the inherently stressful nature of the practice of law caused or even exacerbated my alcoholic drinking. I do believe that because I am a lawyer I was offered the care and assistance of the Lawyer Assistance Program of the North Carolina State Bar, and that the program, quite frankly, saved my life. Read full article here.

]]>766ada88-7e55-4a80-8298-cb6806a5b622Fri, 18 Feb 2022 03:00:00 -040023:41falsefull1717Not a Happy Valentines DayNot a Happy Valentines DayValentine’s Day—handcuffed and removed from my home at 10:38 am.

“Success” had been attained—married, healthy, gifted children, financially secure, a steady stream of new clients coming through the firm doors. I had “made it”—a thriving, 65-hour-a-week litigation practice that consumed most of my waking energy, leaving little for everything else. Read the full article here.

]]>Valentine’s Day—handcuffed and removed from my home at 10:38 am.

“Success” had been attained—married, healthy, gifted children, financially secure, a steady stream of new clients coming through the firm doors. I had “made it”—a thriving, 65-hour-a-week litigation practice that consumed most of my waking energy, leaving little for everything else. Read the full article here.

]]>cdea319c-182a-44a3-b23f-f5f316f2bd8bFri, 11 Feb 2022 03:00:00 -040018:03falsefull1616True SurrenderTrue SurrenderThe wheels came off the day the bar results arrived. I have no idea how long I had been an alcoholic drinker by then, but I have a few guesses where it started. Years prior, I was in a serious accident, hitting the pavement at more than 55 miles per hour. A couple of surgeries and more than a decade of rehab later and I still feel discomfort every day. At the time, painkillers made me nauseous, but I had to quell the pain, so I turned to wine. A lot of wine. A seed was planted – alcohol numbed physical pain.

Fast forward several years and I was at the end of my first semester in law school. Read full article here.

]]>The wheels came off the day the bar results arrived. I have no idea how long I had been an alcoholic drinker by then, but I have a few guesses where it started. Years prior, I was in a serious accident, hitting the pavement at more than 55 miles per hour. A couple of surgeries and more than a decade of rehab later and I still feel discomfort every day. At the time, painkillers made me nauseous, but I had to quell the pain, so I turned to wine. A lot of wine. A seed was planted – alcohol numbed physical pain.

Fast forward several years and I was at the end of my first semester in law school. Read full article here.

]]>ce76ae84-3afd-4172-94b0-78f0f14c8b81Fri, 04 Feb 2022 03:00:00 -040020:05falsefull1515Glimmers of GoodnessGlimmers of GoodnessDespite the many challenges in today’s world–particularly practicing law during the pandemic–there are likely at least a few moments in your day when something good happens. Life-affirming moments that spark joy, bring a smile to your face, or make you laugh are what nervous system expert and author Deb Dana calls a “glimmer.” Read full article here.

]]>Despite the many challenges in today’s world–particularly practicing law during the pandemic–there are likely at least a few moments in your day when something good happens. Life-affirming moments that spark joy, bring a smile to your face, or make you laugh are what nervous system expert and author Deb Dana calls a “glimmer.” Read full article here.

]]>f60d7bd5-9452-40bf-bce4-205a6ccf89c9Fri, 04 Feb 2022 03:00:00 -040015:15falsefull1414AnonymityAnonymityPeople take the anonymity thing very seriously. I personally believe that it is not because of some high-minded adherence to the principle of anonymity, but because of a deep-seated internal sense of shame and fear of lost opportunity. Read the full article here.

]]>People take the anonymity thing very seriously. I personally believe that it is not because of some high-minded adherence to the principle of anonymity, but because of a deep-seated internal sense of shame and fear of lost opportunity. Read the full article here.

]]>454d51e4-17b8-4016-b4c9-b5b537eb8d97Fri, 28 Jan 2022 03:00:00 -040021:40falsefull1313ValidationValidationSomething interesting happened when the world screeched to a halt and the courts closed in mid-March. The lawyers we work with as volunteers and clients did not respond as everyone predicted lawyers would. A feeling arose in many of our volunteers and clients that had them scratching their heads. For many of our LAP participants, inexplicably, this feeling seemed to eclipse most everything else. The feeling was one of immense relief. Read full article here.

]]>Something interesting happened when the world screeched to a halt and the courts closed in mid-March. The lawyers we work with as volunteers and clients did not respond as everyone predicted lawyers would. A feeling arose in many of our volunteers and clients that had them scratching their heads. For many of our LAP participants, inexplicably, this feeling seemed to eclipse most everything else. The feeling was one of immense relief. Read full article here.

]]>2164906c-6b49-42a3-b1e4-4b7fc0254a2eFri, 21 Jan 2022 03:00:00 -040028:41falsefull1212A Parent's Roller Coaster Ride into RecoveryA Parent's Roller Coaster Ride into RecoveryMy son is an addict. His addiction has had a profound impact on my life. Addiction—which includes alcoholism—is a disease, and it wreaks havoc on family members as well as the addict. In this 2-part article a LAP Volunteer shares about recovery on the family side....Read Part 1. Read Part 2.

]]>My son is an addict. His addiction has had a profound impact on my life. Addiction—which includes alcoholism—is a disease, and it wreaks havoc on family members as well as the addict. In this 2-part article a LAP Volunteer shares about recovery on the family side....Read Part 1. Read Part 2.

]]>eae317c7-087c-4c97-b12b-82c37d9416ccFri, 14 Jan 2022 03:00:00 -040022:31falsefull1111Self Care vs Car Wrecks - A Compassion Fatigue StorySelf Care vs Car Wrecks - A Compassion Fatigue StoryI am smart. I really enjoy using my smarts to solve problems: logic problems, crossword puzzles, strangers needing directions, my clients’ problems, my friends’ problems, and my family’s problems. But, fixing problems has a sinister side, just like any addiction, and one can develop compassion fatigue. The best way to explain “compassion fatigue” comes from my therapist. During a session, as I was throwing off my defensive statements to her regarding “not caring” or “it’s not my problem,” she openly scoffed that I enjoyed fixing other’s problems the same way alcoholics drink beer. She observed that I would never be the person who just didn’t care. She is so right. I like helping people. I like being smart and solving problems. I discovered, however, that the bad side of caring too much and about the wrong things can lead to not caring at all about most everything. Read full article here.

]]>I am smart. I really enjoy using my smarts to solve problems: logic problems, crossword puzzles, strangers needing directions, my clients’ problems, my friends’ problems, and my family’s problems. But, fixing problems has a sinister side, just like any addiction, and one can develop compassion fatigue. The best way to explain “compassion fatigue” comes from my therapist. During a session, as I was throwing off my defensive statements to her regarding “not caring” or “it’s not my problem,” she openly scoffed that I enjoyed fixing other’s problems the same way alcoholics drink beer. She observed that I would never be the person who just didn’t care. She is so right. I like helping people. I like being smart and solving problems. I discovered, however, that the bad side of caring too much and about the wrong things can lead to not caring at all about most everything. Read full article here.

]]>9059ac61-58a8-4d5d-ab92-bda040fb6536Fri, 07 Jan 2022 03:00:00 -040025:58falsefull1010Someone Dimed Me OutSomeone Dimed Me OutI’m here because somebody, maybe somebody reading this, dimed me out. Threw me under the bus. Lied about me to the authorities. Said I was drunk in court. The truth is, I have never been drunk in court: yet. Never been drunk at the office…yet. Never lost my driver’s license because I’d been driving drunk…yet. Never been disciplined by the bar for an unethical act committed while drinking or drunk…yet. Read full article here.

]]>I’m here because somebody, maybe somebody reading this, dimed me out. Threw me under the bus. Lied about me to the authorities. Said I was drunk in court. The truth is, I have never been drunk in court: yet. Never been drunk at the office…yet. Never lost my driver’s license because I’d been driving drunk…yet. Never been disciplined by the bar for an unethical act committed while drinking or drunk…yet. Read full article here.

]]>66437e16-3e6c-4b04-9622-208d5ba816a7Fri, 17 Dec 2021 03:00:00 -040014:40falsefull99Seven Ways to Integrate ChangeSeven Ways to Integrate ChangeOne of the most-used words during the pandemic has been the word “change.” Each of our personal and professional worlds has undergone countless micro and macro changes; some for better, others for worse. The amount of adjustments we have been forced to make during the pandemic is almost incomprehensible to our brains and nervous systems. While we may have successfully adapted in countless ways, our nervous systems are not used to making so many changes all at once in such a short period of time; we may need some time to catch up and integrate what happened. Read full article here.

]]>One of the most-used words during the pandemic has been the word “change.” Each of our personal and professional worlds has undergone countless micro and macro changes; some for better, others for worse. The amount of adjustments we have been forced to make during the pandemic is almost incomprehensible to our brains and nervous systems. While we may have successfully adapted in countless ways, our nervous systems are not used to making so many changes all at once in such a short period of time; we may need some time to catch up and integrate what happened. Read full article here.

]]>1e0a7c78-f72c-4717-be97-322db31f27e2Fri, 10 Dec 2021 03:00:00 -040022:18falsefull88Hidden In Plain SightHidden In Plain SightWhen I think back and remember the latter part of my active alcoholism and its impact on my family, more than anything else, I think of the extraordinary amount of time I spent trying to hide my drinking. It felt like I spent almost all my time either hiding the purchase of alcohol, hiding the use of it (and then lying about the use of it), and attempting to hide all evidence—usually by throwing away all of the bottles, cans, etc. I knew, however, that there were times that it was not hidden. Read the full article here.

]]>When I think back and remember the latter part of my active alcoholism and its impact on my family, more than anything else, I think of the extraordinary amount of time I spent trying to hide my drinking. It felt like I spent almost all my time either hiding the purchase of alcohol, hiding the use of it (and then lying about the use of it), and attempting to hide all evidence—usually by throwing away all of the bottles, cans, etc. I knew, however, that there were times that it was not hidden. Read the full article here.

]]>ed6ecb71-0016-40d2-983b-9a890b1233afFri, 03 Dec 2021 03:00:00 -040016:16falsefull77What Do You Think I Should DoWhat Do You Think I Should DoAlcohol is not my problem. It never was. My problem is me. Always has been and always will be. And the problem follows me wherever I go.

I struggle to accept my imperfections or acknowledge that I make mistakes. I have trouble admitting that I am not the best at everything. When I was in the first grade, my optimist league basketball team made the championship game. We lost, and I received a second-place trophy. Instead of being excited about my trophy, I was upset that I did not win the championship. So, when I got home, I grabbed an ax, took the trophy behind the pump house, and chopped up the second-place trophy into little pieces. My grandfather found me and was horrified. Read the full article here.

]]>Alcohol is not my problem. It never was. My problem is me. Always has been and always will be. And the problem follows me wherever I go.

I struggle to accept my imperfections or acknowledge that I make mistakes. I have trouble admitting that I am not the best at everything. When I was in the first grade, my optimist league basketball team made the championship game. We lost, and I received a second-place trophy. Instead of being excited about my trophy, I was upset that I did not win the championship. So, when I got home, I grabbed an ax, took the trophy behind the pump house, and chopped up the second-place trophy into little pieces. My grandfather found me and was horrified. Read the full article here.

]]>b5c0d318-0ea9-4cfd-85a1-ca7e36e798c1Fri, 26 Nov 2021 03:00:00 -040020:38falsefull66Admitting Fear as a First Step to Overcoming ItAdmitting Fear as a First Step to Overcoming ItWhile driving to the coast recently, I was listening to Tara Brach’s book Radical Acceptance. Brach is known for encouraging her readers and listeners to face and walk through their fears and problems. It made me think of that night of my first AA meeting where I uttered the magic words for the first time. There was something powerful in stating publicly what I had known for years but refused to accept. I have described that experience as flipping a light switch. There was an immediate shift within me. That got me thinking. Are there other things in my life that I am resisting? Wouldn’t it help to acknowledge those things to someone else? Read the full article here.

]]>While driving to the coast recently, I was listening to Tara Brach’s book Radical Acceptance. Brach is known for encouraging her readers and listeners to face and walk through their fears and problems. It made me think of that night of my first AA meeting where I uttered the magic words for the first time. There was something powerful in stating publicly what I had known for years but refused to accept. I have described that experience as flipping a light switch. There was an immediate shift within me. That got me thinking. Are there other things in my life that I am resisting? Wouldn’t it help to acknowledge those things to someone else? Read the full article here.

]]>049ef21e-47dc-45ce-9f43-892a1b410b49Fri, 19 Nov 2021 03:00:00 -040018:59falsefull55No One is ComingNo One is ComingAt the start, it was a starburst of luminous warmth. It was fun, it was freeing, it was sophisticated. It was summer beers, sunset champagne toasts, French martinis and obscure Italian wines. I started drinking because it made me relaxed and connected and in love. I felt closer to people around me, to myself, to the buzzing hum of energy I called God. Drinking helped me inch from chrysalis shells of shyness and insecurity. It took me to temporary planes of higher consciousness. Drinking was my friend.

At the end, I was stranded and alone in a darkened house, a husk. What once connected me had led me to self-imposed isolation and crippling loneliness. Read the full article here.

]]>At the start, it was a starburst of luminous warmth. It was fun, it was freeing, it was sophisticated. It was summer beers, sunset champagne toasts, French martinis and obscure Italian wines. I started drinking because it made me relaxed and connected and in love. I felt closer to people around me, to myself, to the buzzing hum of energy I called God. Drinking helped me inch from chrysalis shells of shyness and insecurity. It took me to temporary planes of higher consciousness. Drinking was my friend.

At the end, I was stranded and alone in a darkened house, a husk. What once connected me had led me to self-imposed isolation and crippling loneliness. Read the full article here.

]]>ca2daf95-7d9b-42f8-b327-5ce80c79c671Thu, 11 Nov 2021 03:00:00 -040025:41falsefull44World Feels Not OKWorld Feels Not OK21 months into the pandemic, many lawyers are on the verge of collapse. In this latest edition of the Mindful Moment with Laura Mahr of Conscious Legal Minds, Laura takes us through a short exercise we can use to rewire our brains when the world does not feel OK. Link to the full article here.

]]>21 months into the pandemic, many lawyers are on the verge of collapse. In this latest edition of the Mindful Moment with Laura Mahr of Conscious Legal Minds, Laura takes us through a short exercise we can use to rewire our brains when the world does not feel OK. Link to the full article here.

]]>6644a2ff-8d7d-4111-b54a-5fa3537e4cecThu, 28 Oct 2021 03:00:00 -040013:07falsefull33Get Off The CouchGet Off The CouchMid-November 2000 I was lying on a couch in my office with the lights out, hoping the room would stop spinning. It was around 8:30 am and I found myself in the same situation again: hung over at work and desperate. I was desperate not to have to go to court and act like everything was okay. I felt empty and fearful. I was disgusted with myself and felt no hope. My life seemed to be one big black hole. I couldn’t face people and I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. My professional life was coming to an end, and I thought there was no stopping that inevitability. A hearing in front of the Grievance Committee of the State Bar was fast approaching....Read the full story here.

]]>Mid-November 2000 I was lying on a couch in my office with the lights out, hoping the room would stop spinning. It was around 8:30 am and I found myself in the same situation again: hung over at work and desperate. I was desperate not to have to go to court and act like everything was okay. I felt empty and fearful. I was disgusted with myself and felt no hope. My life seemed to be one big black hole. I couldn’t face people and I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. My professional life was coming to an end, and I thought there was no stopping that inevitability. A hearing in front of the Grievance Committee of the State Bar was fast approaching....Read the full story here.

]]>111a84df-8f6a-4fec-9d6f-fdc1d9af1305Thu, 28 Oct 2021 03:00:00 -040017:11falsefull22Wings to FlyWings to FlyThe judge said he hoped to see me on the other side of the bar in 5 years. I thought to myself: There’s no reason it should take me five years to pass the bar. After all, I had already been sober for about a year, and it had been almost 2 years since my third DUI. It’s an unfortunate story, but definitely not unique. I had graduated law school, but then bar study met my best friend, King Alcohol. Before I could ever see with clarity what was really going on, the disease of alcoholism took almost everything from me. Maybe I knew I had a problem, maybe I didn’t. Maybe I just couldn’t reconcile my glamorous vision of a successful legal career with a life without my very best friend. It doesn’t really matter what happened or how it happened. All that matters was that now I was sober, and I wanted my life back. Read the full story here.

]]>The judge said he hoped to see me on the other side of the bar in 5 years. I thought to myself: There’s no reason it should take me five years to pass the bar. After all, I had already been sober for about a year, and it had been almost 2 years since my third DUI. It’s an unfortunate story, but definitely not unique. I had graduated law school, but then bar study met my best friend, King Alcohol. Before I could ever see with clarity what was really going on, the disease of alcoholism took almost everything from me. Maybe I knew I had a problem, maybe I didn’t. Maybe I just couldn’t reconcile my glamorous vision of a successful legal career with a life without my very best friend. It doesn’t really matter what happened or how it happened. All that matters was that now I was sober, and I wanted my life back. Read the full story here.

]]>07162de7-81ae-435f-8183-64367f169257Thu, 28 Oct 2021 03:00:00 -040020:39falsefull11Welcome to Sidebar with the North Carolina Lawyer Assistance ProgramWelcome to Sidebar with the North Carolina Lawyer Assistance ProgramWelcome to Sidebar, brought to you by North Carolina’s Lawyer Assistance Program, where lawyers help lawyers by sharing their experience, strength, and hope as they delve into their personal journeys of recovery.

We’ll initiate and guide the conversation with lawyers and judges, who will share stories, insights, lessons, and tools discovered along the way with the intention of relieving the stress and stigma of talking about how life, mental health, and the practice of law have affected them, both personally and professionally.

We encourage you to listen to another episode or two, subscribe to our newsletter, and peruse the resources at www.nclap.org. And, if you know a lawyer who could use a hand, please share this episode with them today. Remember, at Sidebar…you are not alone, in fact, you are in quite good company.

Sidebar: tune in for the conversations, community, and camaraderie. Stay for the shared hope and humanity you discover.

]]>Welcome to Sidebar, brought to you by North Carolina’s Lawyer Assistance Program, where lawyers help lawyers by sharing their experience, strength, and hope as they delve into their personal journeys of recovery.

We’ll initiate and guide the conversation with lawyers and judges, who will share stories, insights, lessons, and tools discovered along the way with the intention of relieving the stress and stigma of talking about how life, mental health, and the practice of law have affected them, both personally and professionally.

We encourage you to listen to another episode or two, subscribe to our newsletter, and peruse the resources at www.nclap.org. And, if you know a lawyer who could use a hand, please share this episode with them today. Remember, at Sidebar…you are not alone, in fact, you are in quite good company.

Sidebar: tune in for the conversations, community, and camaraderie. Stay for the shared hope and humanity you discover.

]]>989773c8-19dc-45c2-9427-d51ad21783f4Thu, 29 Jul 2021 03:00:00 -040002:08falsetrailer