We got into:

• Why successful single women are seen as incomplete while successful single men are called a catch

• How being a high value woman makes dating harder and why men resent the same qualities they were drawn to

• Why Blake said she refuses to be a single mother in a marriage and what that actually means

• The woman who has everything she ever dreamed of and is still considered less valuable without a man

• What Blake would do if she had a letter from God confirming her person was on the way

• Why Ashlyn says stop waiting on a man to make big life decisions and build your accomplishments now

• Blake's honest take on not wanting a merged life and what parallel tables actually look like in a relationshipIf this episode resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever felt like your life was not being taken seriously because you were single

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

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We got into:

• The real difference between self-esteem and self-worth and why you can have one without the other

• Why high achieving women often have the highest self-esteem and the lowest self-worth at the same time

• How achieving becomes the substitute for worth and what happens when the wins stop coming

• Blake asking herself what a less qualified white man would ask for in a salary negotiation and doing it anyway

• How toxic relationships and corporate environments both slowly rewrite how you see yourself

• Ashlyn opening up about a toxic relationship that took years to recover from and the stool that got moved

• Why your blessings are sometimes blocked by the dead weight you haven't let go of yet

• The mantra Blake gave herself in January that reframed everything

Mantra Moment: I am worthy not because of what I do but because of who I am. The work is closing that gap.

If this resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever realized you were confident on the outside but still accepting less than you deserved.

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

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We got into:

• How growing up without early romantic attention creates patterns you carry into adult dating

• Why Blake and Ashlyn both overperformed to earn love instead of knowing they were worthy just for existing

• Why dating is not encouraged for Black girls the way it is for their white counterparts and how that gap shows up later

• The painful experience of having parents who called you beautiful but a world outside that invalidated it

• Being dared to be asked out as a joke and not even knowing it at the time

• Why comparison is the biggest thief and how to protect your timeline when everyone around you seems ahead

• What Blake and Ashlyn would tell their younger selves and the message they want every invisible girl to hear

Mantra Moment: Growing up invisible doesn't mean you were unworthy. It means the environment didn't reflect your value back to you.

If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us one thing you wish someone had told you when you were growing up and feeling unseen.

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

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⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

We got into:

• Why women stay too long in relationships with potential and how it becomes self abandonment without you even realizing it

• The difference between supporting someone and actually carrying them

• When consistency is the real measure of progress and what stalled ambition actually looks like

• Why society praises women for staying through cheating and hardship but shames them for walking away

• The moment you realize you thought you were showing grace but you were abandoning your own needs

• Why the keep a man conversation is never directed at men and what that man is doing to keep you

• What a healthy dynamic actually looks like when both people are contributing and building together

Mantra Moment: Potential is not a promise. Consistency is. Real partnership is built on patterns and not projections.

If this resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever realized you were investing in someone's future more than they were investing in their own present.

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

We got into:

• The difference between being loved and being needed and why real love feels like exhale energy

• Why calling yourself low maintenance is actually inviting low effort love

• How to stop giving up your autonomy just because you like somebody

• Why Black women feel so guilty for choosing themselves and where that guilt actually comes from

• What survival mode actually looks like and how to recognize it in your own life

• What healthy self obsession really means and why it doesn't have to be healthy

• How to build and protect your routine in a relationship so you don't lose yourself

• The difference between guilt and discomfort when you say no

• Why confidence is curated daily and not something you wake up with

Mantra Moment: Do it uncertain. Do it scared. Do it imperfect. There is no such thing as the right time. The right time is right now. — Erica (@theconfidencecoach)

If this episode resonated drop a comment and let us know which part of Erica's message hit home for you.

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

We got into:

• Why beauty spending feels like a necessity and not a luxury for Black women

• How our hair and appearance directly affect our mental health and confidence

• Navigating corporate spaces as a Black woman and why keeping your hair done is armor

• The coworker who asks if everything is okay the moment your hair isn't laid

• The unsolicited natural hair compliments and why we are over the small talk

• Whether beauty spending is about results or peace of mind

• How working in beauty and marketing changes the way you shop forever

• At what point beauty maintenance shifts from enjoyment to full obligation

• The tension between not wanting to dress up for a man and realizing you have to be what you want to attract

If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know what beauty expense you refuse to feel guilty about.

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

We got into:

• Whether dating standards have actually increased or women are just finally being honest

• The question every financially independent woman is asking: can you do for me what I do for myself?

• Why relationships are transactional and why pretending they aren't is how you end up pouring into the wrong person

• The TikTok story about the non-refundable flight, the nails, and why people got it wrong

• Why money on a dinner date is the easiest flex and not a real measure of compatibility

• The gap between how women show up for their friends versus how men show up in relationships

• Whether men are financially inadequate or just resistant to showing up for women they don't value

✨Mantra Moment: Standards are not a price tag. They are a reflection of values.

If this resonated, drop a comment and let us know if you've ever realized you weren't asking for too much, you were just asking the wrong person.

📩 Email us: ⁠SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com⁠

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

We got into:

• How Asya started creating content in 2017 with a JC Penney credit card and Fenty Beauty

• Navigating beauty standards and double standards in brand partnerships as a Black woman

• Why code switching followed her from corporate America into content creation

• What it took to unlearn being the strong one and let her partner lead

• Living with PCOS and showing up on camera authentically anyway

• The friendship losses that came with leveling up and leaving certain chapters behind

• Why she shares on her own terms and how she protects her peace online

• What she tells anyone who wants to pursue content creation full time

Mantra Moment: "Conquer life's adversities that come at you. Don't crumble underneath the pressure." — Asya (@conqueringasya)

If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know which part of Aysa's story hit home for you.

📩 Email us: ⁠SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com⁠

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

What happens when you actually get what you worked for and it just feels... flat.

We talk about the anticlimactic feeling that comes after achieving a goal, why the chase can feel better than the arrival, and how we have both struggled to sit in wins without immediately moving the goalpost.

We got into:

• Why reaching a milestone can feel like a crash instead of a celebration

• The difference between gratitude and complacency and why we confuse them

• How success can become a way of avoiding healing

• External validation versus internal fulfillment and which one actually lasts

• Burnout, being overworked, and what capable does not mean willing really looks like

• What the younger version of you would think looking at where you are now

• How to actually celebrate yourself before you move on to the next thing

Mantra Moment: "Achieving a goal doesn't automatically create meaning or wholeness. Fulfillment often comes from how we live between milestones, not from the milestones themselves. Success is a moment, not an identity."

If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know if you've ever felt this way after reaching a big goal.

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

We got into:

• Why protecting your peace can sometimes mean you stop seeing red flags

• The kind of corporate feedback Black women know all too well

• Why your personal brand can carry more weight than your resume

• Dating as a successful Black woman and the mindset shift that actually helps

• Her take on true balance and why something always has to fall

• Pattern recognition in adult friendships and how to trust what you see

• The three things every woman should be investing in right now

• What it really means to become a pretty wealthy woman

Mantra Moment: "People remember how you make them feel." Maya Angelou, shared by Caitlyn Kumi

If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know which part hit hardest.

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

We also get into:

• How to tell the difference between healthy pacing and emotional avoidance

• Why no title often means no accountability

• Why some people want access without offering commitment

• How ego can keep you stuck trying to be chosen

• Why women need boundaries more than repeated conversations

• Love bombing, future faking, and men showing up as their representative

• Why taking things slow can sometimes be about emotional safety and literal safety

✨ Mantra Moment: Moving with intention doesn’t require rushing, but it does require honesty. Emotional safety should create clarity, not confusion or prolonged uncertainty.

If this episode hit home, let us know in the comments what your experience has been with “taking it slow” in dating.

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com 📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod ⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

What we discuss:

• Why feminine energy feels impossible without safety

• The survival mode many women experience in relationships

• Why mothering a partner kills attraction

• The difference between softness and vulnerability

• Why indecisiveness feels like lack of leadership

• The emotional labor tied to cohabitation

• Social media’s role in shaping feminine and masculine expectations

✨ Mantra Moment: Softness emerges when there is safety, consistency and direction. It's not something women owe, it's something that's invited.

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode we talk about:

• Why survival mode shows up in dating and kills emotional intimacy

• The difference between being a supportive partner and mothering a grown man

• How struggle love culture removes accountability from men and puts pressure on women

• What it actually feels like to be hypervigilant in a relationship and how it affects your health

• Why your body always remembers even when your heart wants to forgive

• Whether requiring therapy is a boundary or unrealistic

• How some men weaponize therapy language instead of actually doing the work

• The role mothers play in holding or not holding their sons accountable

• Why more women are choosing to be single and why that's perfectly okay

This episode is for every woman who has ever questioned whether she was asking for too much. Spoiler: you're not.

✨ Mantra Moment: Love should not require you to heal someone else. Black women should be allowed to choose someone who is actively doing the same work that they are and not be guilted for it. Growing up in survival mode can absolutely explain behavior, but what are you doing about it?

📩 Email us: SuburbanBlackGirlPod@gmail.com

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We talk about the difference between intentional isolation and loneliness, why peace can sometimes feel unfamiliar, and how outgrowing dysfunction often means leaving behind people, patterns, and environments that once felt normal.

We also get into:

• Why choosing peace can come with a sense of isolation

•The difference between being alone and simply lacking alignment

• Why some friendships and relationships were built on chaos, gossip, or dysfunction

• How boundaries expose who was only attached to the old version of you

• Why quality matters more than quantity in relationships

• Rebuilding connection after you outgrow old environments

• Why your desire for companionship should never be stronger than your self worth

• Learning how to sit with yourself, reflect, and regulate before inviting in new connections .

This episode is for anyone in that strange in-between season where you know you cannot go back, but your next chapter has not fully arrived yet.

✨ Mantra Moment: Outgrowing chaos often means leaving familiar dynamics before new ones fully form. That in-between space can feel lonely, but it is also where clarity and self trust deepen.

If this resonates, let us know in the comments how you are navigating your own lonely season.

Is outgrowing people a natural part of adulthood… or a failure of loyalty?

As you evolve, set boundaries, and prioritize alignment, not everyone can come with you. And when you start choosing growth, people don’t always call it evolution they call it selfish, disloyal, or “you’ve changed.”

We talk about the difference between love and compatibility, why some relationships can’t end peacefully, and how accusations of abandonment often show up the moment you stop overextending yourself.

We also dive into:

• Why growth feels like betrayal to people who benefited from the old version of you

• The difference between loyalty and access

• Why some breakups and friendships can’t end with closure

• When silent exits are healthier than dramatic conversations

• How to know when alignment is gone even if love is still there

• Why we’re taught to prioritize history over health

• Codependency, boundaries, and being “the dependable one”

• Letting go of the “what if” mindset in dating

• Why abundance thinking makes detachment easier

Growth changes relationships not because love disappears, but because alignment does.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for evolving, distancing yourself, or choosing peace over familiarity, this conversation is for you.

✨ Mantra Moment: Growth changes relationships not because love disappears, but because alignment does.

Subscribe for weekly conversations about identity, dating, growth, boundaries, and navigating adulthood as multifaceted Black women.

We unpack the unspoken expectation that pain equals credibility and trauma equals depth. We talk about how growing up in a healthy environment can sometimes make you feel like you have to downplay your stability, exaggerate hardship, or prove your “realness” in rooms that romanticize struggle.

We Cover:

• Why struggle stories are often treated as currency• The pressure to perform trauma to be taken seriously

• How social media and hustle culture glorify “getting it out the mud”

• Survivor’s guilt and feeling “not Black enough” or “not relatable enough”

• Why stability is not a weakness and peace is not privilegeWe also discuss the difference between acknowledging systemic barriers and turning trauma into identity, and why both narratives deserve nuance.

✨ Mantra Moment: You don’t have to suffer to be worthy of understanding.” Stability doesn’t erase complexity, and peace doesn’t mean someone hasn’t done inner work. Your experiences are valid even if they don’t fit a survival-based narrative.

This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt like their story wasn’t dramatic enough to matter, or like they had to justify their success because it wasn’t born from chaos.

Let’s talk about it.

We talk about hustle culture, the pressure to always be “doing something,” and why rest can feel like falling behind, even when your life actually feels better.

We also get real about identity, boundaries, and how overachieving can quietly disconnect you from yourself.

We Cover:

• Why ambition is visible but peace isn’t

• How hustle culture makes exhaustion look admirable

• Choosing remote work, flexibility, or slower growth without shame • Why calm can feel threatening when you’re used to chaos

• The identity crisis that can happen when you’re not “achieving” or helping

• Boundaries, alignment, and redefining success on your own terms

• Why peace can feel lonely and why that doesn’t mean it’s wrong

✨ Mantra Moment: Peace is not the absence of ambition. It’s the presence of alignment.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, questioned your pace, or wondered whether you’re choosing growth or just chasing approval this one is for you.

We talk about how insecurity shows up as projection, why confident people aren’t threatened by other confident people, and why “humility” is sometimes just code for likability and compliance.

We cover:

• Why confidence is celebrated in men but questioned in women
• How “being chosen” conditioning (Disney, Bridgerton, the whole plot 😭) shapes how women move
• The “bean soup theory” + why strangers feel entitled to a vote on your lifeWhere the line is between confidence vs. cockiness (and why putting people down isn’t confidence)
• How this shows up at work: code-switching, tone policing, and trying to be “unproblematic”
• How it shows up in friendships: dimming your light, hesitating to share wins, and keeping the peace
• How it shows up in dating: hiding your lifestyle, shrinking your dreams, and choosing yourself anyway
• Why therapy helps you stop taking random opinions personally
• What actually boosts confidence (workouts, skincare, mental health, money, wisdom, hormones, vitamin D, reading)✨

Mantra Moment:Confidence isn’t ego — it’s clarity. Knowing who you are doesn’t require permission, and shrinking yourself to make others comfortable is not humility.

If you’ve ever been called “intimidating,” “bougie,” or “unapproachable” just for existing… this one’s for you.

We talk about the difference between being self-aware and being emotionally regulated, why insight alone doesn’t equal growth, and how healing can feel uncomfortable not just for you, but for the people around you. Because growth doesn’t always look soft or agreeable and it often changes how you show up in relationships, friendships, and work.

We get into how understanding your trauma isn’t the same as changing your behavior, why healing often shows up through boundaries instead of explanations, and what it really means when people say “you’ve changed.” We also unpack why being triggered doesn’t mean you haven’t healed, and how growth can leave you feeling misunderstood, labeled as “different,” or less accessible than before.

This conversation is for anyone who feels like healing has made relationships harder, not easierand who is learning that growth sometimes costs access, familiarity, and approval.

✨ Mantra Moment: Healing isn’t about being able to explain your past. It’s about how you respond in the present. If you’ve ever felt like your growth made you less convenient, less agreeable, or less tolerable to certain people, this episode is for you.

We talk about the difference between being self-aware and being emotionally regulated, why insight alone doesn’t equal growth, and how healing can feel uncomfortable not just for you, but for the people around you.

We Cover:

• The difference between understanding your trauma and actually changing your behavior
• Why healing often shows up through boundaries, not explanations
• How being triggered doesn’t mean you haven’t healed
• Why growth can make you feel misunderstood or labeled as “different”
• Letting go of the need to intellectualize pain instead of feeling it
• What it means when people say “you’ve changed”
• Choosing regulation and self-protection over people-pleasing

This conversation is for anyone who feels like healing has made relationships harder, not easier and who is learning that growth sometimes costs access, familiarity, and approval.

✨ Mantra Moment:Healing isn’t about being able to explain your past. It’s about how you respond in the present.If you’ve ever felt like your growth made you less convenient, less agreeable, or less tolerable to certain people, this episode is for you.

We talk about:

• How independence is instilled in Black women from a young age Why being capable isn’t the same as being emotionally open
• The fear of asking for help and the disappointment that follows when help doesn’t come When independence blocks deeper relationships and support
• Learning to be the “damsel in distress” without shame Boundaries, burnout, and why it’s not your job to regulate other people’s emotions
• Sitting with yourself, regulating emotions, and building self-trust without isolating

This is an honest conversation about vulnerability, self-sufficiency, and learning when strength looks like letting someone show up for you.

✨ Mantra Moment: You don’t have to prove you’re strong by doing everything alone. Strength can look like allowing support.

If you’ve ever felt proud of your independence but secretly tired of carrying everything by yourself this episode is for you.

We talk about adjusting to constant change, navigating burnout, learning when to pivot, and what it really means to keep showing up for yourself even when life feels heavy.

We get into:

• Why 2025 felt unpredictable, busy, and emotionally demanding.

• Career growth, burnout, and learning to say no

• Relationships, perspective shifts, and being humbled in love

• Therapy, boundaries, and choosing yourself without guilt

• Why success takes time and why delayed blessings often last longer

• Letting go of environments and people that no longer serve you

• Setting intentions for 2026 rooted in peace, purpose, and self-trust

This episode is a reminder that growth doesn’t always look pretty sometimes it looks like adjusting, reassessing, and trusting yourself enough to keep going anyway.

✨ Mantra Moment:I honor the woman I was, celebrate the woman I am, and trust the woman I’m becoming.If 2025 challenged you in ways you didn’t expect, this conversation is for you.

We talk about the unseen labor behind self-growth: the perfectionism, the comparison, the pressure to show up flawlessly, and the loneliness that comes with doing life on your own terms. We also unpack how the “that girl” aesthetic preys on insecurity, ignores individuality, and often masks the real work: therapy, self-awareness, emotional healing, and honoring your actual purpose.

From body image to content creation to boundaries and burnout, we explore what your personal version of that girl looks like—without the pressure to perform, copy anyone else’s blueprint, or chase an aesthetic that was never meant for you.

This week’s Mantra Moment: “The real glow up is internal healing. Peace and alignment will always outshine perfection. Becoming that girl isn’t about becoming her. It’s about coming home to you.

(Part 2 of our anniversary series — catch Part 1 for how these friendships began!)

We get into:

• The difference between standards, boundaries, and entitlement
• Why Black women are often shamed for luxury, care, and softness
• How “too much” for one person is just Tuesday for another
• The importance of reciprocity in dating and friendships
• Why respecting yourself sets the tone for how others treat you

Because being well-cared for by yourself or your partner isn’t “too much.” It’s self-respect. 💅🏾

Mantra Moment: “You’re not asking for too much , you’re just asking the wrong person.”

In this episode, we open up about our personal experiences with colorism—both within and outside of the Black community. From the classroom to the workplace to the dating scene, we unpack how colorism shows up in everyday life and the emotional toll it can take. We also explore the lack of diverse representation of Black women in media, and most importantly, how we can begin to heal, grow, and challenge these deeply rooted biases.