Guest Bios

Dr. John A. King is a Warumungu man, childhood abuse and trafficking survivor, and founder of The Phoenix Collective, a platform for trauma recovery built by survivors, for survivors. Drawing on decades of lived experience, he equips men to face PTSD, rebuild identity, and develop the mental toughness needed to thrive. An award-winning filmmaker, author, and speaker, Dr. King blends raw honesty with practical strategies to help men heal without losing their edge.

Melissa King is the co-founder of the Phoenix Collective and a certified life coach with a decade of experience in trauma recovery, wellness, and organizational leadership. In addition to her nonprofit work, Melissa is the co-founder of November Media, a social impact marketing firm with a digital reach exceeding 4 million.

Turning 40 and redefining what normal means

John King built a life that, from the outside, looked like success by every possible measure. He was driven, accomplished, and constantly moving. But in his mid-40s, everything changed in a single moment when long-suppressed childhood trauma resurfaced, setting off a chain reaction that dismantled his marriage, his career, and his identity. What followed wasn’t a quick recovery. It was years of rebuilding from the ground up, redefining who he was, what “normal” meant, and how to create a life that actually worked for him. This conversation with John and his wife Melissa is about that unraveling, and the intentional, often unexpected ways he found his way back.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How a life that looks successful can actually be built on survival and constant motion
• What it feels like when everything that once worked suddenly stops working
• The difference between burnout and what John describes as a complete “system failure”
• Why rebuilding your life often starts with small, daily decisions rather than big changes
• The shift from external validation to internal authority, and why it’s so uncomfortable
• How John developed a set of tools to manage his mental health and shorten recovery time
• The role of steady, supportive relationships during periods of deep transition

This conversation provides a different lens on healing. There’s no clean “before and after;” instead, it provides a picture of what it means to live with ongoing challenges while building the awareness and tools to navigate them. It’s a reminder that transformation isn’t always about eliminating struggle, but about learning how to come back to yourself, again and again, with more clarity each time.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast with someone who might need to hear it.

Guest Resources

Free gifts from John & Melissa for TBFO listeners:

Register for free talks and get free replays of any past talks

Purchase lifetime access to the Phoenix Collective course catalog for $27 (regularly $97). Enter the coupon PHX27 at checkout.

Visit John’s website

Find John on Facebook

Find John on Instagram

Find John on TikTok

Are you stuck in people-pleasing mode?

Download Stephanie’s People Pleasing Playbook to understand where it comes from, how it’s showing up, and what it’s costing you. ww.thebigfouroh.com/peoplepleaser

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Guest Bio

Zoey Charif isn’t just redefining how we think about love — she’s providing a blueprint for it. As the author of “Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated”, Zoey spent nearly two decades decoding the patterns of human attraction, pulling from her background in criminology, data analytics, and a relentless drive to challenge everything we’ve been taught about relationships.

Born in Afghanistan, raised in Vancouver, Canada, and now based in Orange County, California, Zoey brings a rare blend of emotional depth, analytical precision, and lived experience to her work. Her framework isn’t just theoretical, it’s coachable, actionable, and designed to help people transform how they choose, build, and sustain relationships.

Her work is a wake-up call: love isn’t magic. It’s math, psychology, and emotional mastery. Outside of the relationship space, Zoey is a powerhouse entrepreneur — the founder of Business Plans USA— helping startups and established businesses secure funding and scale with precision. Whether she’s helping people find aligned love or aligned success, Zoey’s mission is the same: to turn hope into mastery and potential into reality.

Turning 40 and recognizing the patterns keeping you stuck

Zoey Charif has spent most of her life navigating change. Born in Afghanistan and raised across multiple countries, transition has been part of her story from the beginning. But in her early thirties, after a painful breakup left her questioning her self-worth and direction, Zoey hit a personal rock bottom that forced her to look inward. Instead of continuing down the same path, she developed a framework to examine her values, rebuild her confidence, and change the patterns shaping her relationships and life. In this conversation, Zoey shares how that moment of self-reflection led to a rapid and profound shift, one that ultimately helped her create a healthier relationship, a stronger sense of identity, and a life that feels much more aligned with who she truly is.

In This Episode, We Talk About

1. How a childhood filled with constant transition shaped Zoey’s resilience and adaptability, buy ultimately affected her sense of self
2. The breakup in her early thirties that forced her to confront her sense of self-worth and the patterns in her relationships
3. Why many of us spend our twenties and early thirties blaming external circumstances before realizing we may be part of the pattern
4. How small shifts in mindset, daily habits, and environment can trigger surprisingly fast personal transformation
5. Meeting her husband at a dog park and discovering the difference between dramatic relationships and peaceful ones
6. Letting go of comparison and embracing an unconventional life path as she approaches 40

Self-awareness can completely change the trajectory of a life. Zoey shares how recognizing her own role in repeating relationship patterns allowed her to break those cycles and create something healthier. Along the way, she and Stephanie reflect on the broader midlife transition many people experience, the shift from external validation to internal alignment, and the surprising freedom that comes from letting go of expectations about what life “should” look like.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share it with someone who might need to hear this conversation.

Guest Resources

Zoey’s book, “Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated”

Connect with Zoey on Instagram

Zoey’s website

Do you have the Midlife Ick?

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio

Cora is a recovering people-pleaser, and identifies as a highly sensitive deep-feeler. Through her training to become a biodynamic craniosacral therapist, Cora gained profound insights into the body's innate wisdom, and learned directly in her own body, the importance of a felt-sense of safety.

Cora incorporates the foundations of the cranio modality with her personal gifts and own lifelong healing experiences, to support others in their recovery-of-self processes. She believes there are key components to true, deep, lasting healing that communicate directly to the physiological wiring of our systems, and providing those elements allows for us to cultivate a deep sense of self, resilience, and trust.

Her work combines an understanding of natural body responses with deeply attuned presence, for those navigating complex emotional landscapes.

Turning 40 and choosing safety over chemistry

When Cora Rennie divorced her husband at 36 after 18 years together, it shocked everyone around her. From the outside, their marriage looked steady and intact. Inside, they were two conflict-avoidant people growing further apart through miscarriage, postpartum struggles, military deployments, and years of emotional disconnection. What followed was a fast, passionate relationship filled with chemistry, red flags, financial strain, betrayal, and hard-earned clarity. But beneath the relationship drama was a woman beginning to understand how a lifetime of living by “the next step” had shaped her choices. In her early 40s, staring down the reality of becoming an empty nester, Cora finally made a choice that felt like her own. And that changed everything.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

1. How a “good girl” identity can quietly become a people-pleasing pattern that runs your life
2. The moment Cora realized she could not stay in a marriage where emotions were unwelcome but intimacy was expected
3. Why intense chemistry can cloud discernment, and how oxytocin plays a role in bonding
4. Overlooking red flags, merging finances, and losing herself in a relationship that felt like a “love story” but not a “life story”
5. Reconnecting with creativity, sensuality, and art as part of reclaiming her identity
6. Discovering the fawning response and how the nervous system can unconsciously choose our partners
7. Facing the empty nest transition and asking, “Who am I now?”
8. The difference between living by default and making a conscious, heart-led choice
9. How biodynamic cranio psychotherapy and nervous system regulation reshaped her healing

Cora’s story is not just about divorce, dating, or even people pleasing. It is about the shift from living by internalized programming to living by conscious choice. For most of her life, each step she took felt predetermined, like the next logical box to check. Military. Marriage. Motherhood. Partnership. Even divorce felt like the inevitable next move. But in midlife, she looked at a blank slate. In the stillness before her youngest left home, she realized this was the first time she could choose without reacting, without fawning, without following a script. When the external noise quieted enough that she could hear something internal speak up, she found the heartbeat of this midlife transition so many of us experience.

If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh. It helps more people find these conversations and realize they are not alone in their own turning-40 transition.

Guest Resources

Cora’s offer for listeners: $40 OFF the Understanding People Pleasing Summit VIP All Access Pass

Use promo code BIGFOUROH

Find Cora on YouTube

Connect with Cora on Facebook

Connect with Cora on Instagram

Recovering people pleaser? Same here.

From Pleasing to Peace is a free guide based on real stories from this podcast: people who’ve done the brave work of untangling people pleasing at midlife. www.thebigfouroh.com/peoplepleaser

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Guest Bio

Nathan Karol has played many roles in the world both personal and professional. Most notably he is a husband, father, Jew by choice, mental health advocate and mediocre golfer. He's spent his life figuring out what he wants to do when he "grows up," having been mentored and influenced by some amazing human beings. The years around forty have been full of change, reflection, awareness and hard work both professionally and personally.

Turning 40 and discovering why a lifetime of ‘normal’ felt so hard

Nathan Karol’s midlife transition did not arrive with fireworks or a dramatic breakdown. It arrived through pressure, persistence, and a growing realization that the way he had been moving through the world no longer fit his life or, more importantly, how his brain worked. In his early 40s, while pivoting into a new career in financial services, Nathan was forced to confront something he had not thought about since childhood: ADHD. What followed was a reckoning. Through therapy, testing accommodations, and a radical reframing of what success can look like, Nathan found clarity, self-trust, and a path that finally works with his wiring instead of against it.

In this episode, we talk about:

1. Growing up curious, hands-on, and constantly in motion, and how early experiences shape adult identity.
2. Losing connection to a childhood ADHD diagnosis and the quiet ways it continued to affect work, stress, and self-worth.
3. Why traditional career paths and rigid structures can be especially punishing for ADHD brains.
4. Hitting a wall in midlife when intense licensing exams forced Nathan to relearn how his brain actually works.
5. The power of therapy, diagnosis, and accommodations in adulthood, and why none of that is a failure.
6. Letting go of a solo business that no longer scaled, and stepping into a role that offers both structure and autonomy.
7. Redefining success as building systems that work for you, not forcing yourself into ones that do not.

Midlife clarity often comes from revisiting old truths with new eyes. Nathan didn’t start over from scratch. But he worked towards understanding himself enough to choose a path that fit. His transition demonstrates how self-awareness, support, and flexibility can turn long-standing friction into momentum, and how learning how your brain works can change everything about how you live and work.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find these stories and reminds them they are not alone.

Guest Resources

Connect with Nathan on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick?

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Today, Stephanie McLaughlin shares the unexpected result of an experiment she brought to Podfest 2026: the Midlife Burn Book. Here’s what happened when real people were invited to reflect on midlife, in their own words, written in a notebook passed hand to hand at Podfest.

What was intended to be a playful, analog, nostalgia-tinted way to connect with other podcasters turned into a compelling snapshot of what so many people are carrying beneath the surface as they approach or move through midlife.

Stephanie explains the origins of the Burn Book; the prompts inspired by years of conversations on the show; and the sometimes surprisingly honest responses people left behind.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

1. Why Stephanie brought the Midlife Burn Book to Podfest and what she hoped would happen
2. The 10 core themes that have emerged across nearly four years of The Big Four Oh conversations
3. How burnout often comes from obedience, over-functioning, and living by rules we did not choose
4. The prompt that resonated most: “What I no longer need to justify”
5. The grief that can accompany shedding identities that once felt essential
6. Why exhaustion is often information, not a personal failure
7. What it looks like to redefine success from the inside out

In reflecting on the responses in the Burn Book, Stephanie notices a striking pattern: people were far more ready to explore the rupture than the resolution. The episode underscores how universal the midlife transition really is, and how often the questions we avoid are already waiting just beneath the surface.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. Your support helps these conversations reach more people who are realizing they are not alone as the ground begins to shift beneath their feet.

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Guest Bio

Michelle Niemeyer is a speaker, coach and former attorney who teaches professionals how to bend time so they can stay sharp, productive and profitable – without burning out. After finding her way to burnout and back in her own high-performing legal career, Michelle created The Art of Bending Time, a framework that helps people connect the dots across work, life, and purpose to magnetize success and reclaim their joy. She helps businesses retain top talent, boost development, and keep their people energized and engaged – all while making the magic happen.

Turning 40 and realizing burnout was the warning, not the problem

From the outside, Michelle Niemeyer looked like the picture of success. She was a high-achieving attorney, deeply involved in her community, and constantly in motion. Underneath that polished exterior, she was exhausted, chronically stressed, and living in a body that was fighting itself. In her mid-30s and early 40s, Michelle’s drive to achieve, her hyper-independence, and years of pushing through discomfort collided with burnout and a serious autoimmune diagnosis. What followed was not just a health reckoning, but a complete transformation in how she relates to work, relationships, time, and herself.

Episode Highlights:

1. How Michelle’s childhood conditioning around achievement and responsibility shaped her relentless work ethic.
2. What it looks like when burnout shows up as brain fog, detachment, and physical symptoms long before we recognize it as burnout.
3. The moment her body forced her to pay attention, and how an autoimmune diagnosis changed everything.
4. How lifestyle changes, stress reduction, and radical self-awareness helped Michelle reverse disease progression.
5. The surprising emotional and personality shift that came with learning to slow down and ask for help.
6. Why burnout is often less about time management and more about alignment.

Michelle’s story is a reminder that midlife transitions often arrive disguised as health crises, exhaustion, or emotional unraveling. For her, healing was not just about diet or medication, it was about dismantling a lifetime of hyper-independence, redefining success, and reconnecting with what actually brings energy and joy. Her transformation highlights a truth many listeners will recognize: when you stop living in constant survival mode, your body and your life respond in ways that can feel almost miraculous.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find these stories and reminds others in the middle of their own transition that they are not alone.

Guest Resources

Michelle’s Website

Connect with Michelle on LinkedIn

Connect with Michelle on Facebook

Connect with Michelle on Instagram

Michelle’s Offer for TBFO Listeners! Free Community with Clarity Exercise and SWORD Form

Do you have the Midlife Ick?

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio

Mikelann Valterra is an author, speaker, financial therapist, and master money coach who helps women around the world rise above the money fog, transform their relationship with money, and design their ideal life. For twenty-five years, Mikelann Valterra, MA, AFC has been a thought leader in financial psychology. She has written, spoken, and been interviewed extensively on powerful, practical ways to reduce money anxiety and teaches effective methods for earning, saving, reducing debt, and managing money. Her new book, Rise Above the Money Fog is now available online. When she’s not working with clients, you can find Mikelann on the dance floor, indulging her love of Argentine Tango.

Turning 40 and becoming “uncorked”

Mikelann Valterra’s transformation began just before her 40th birthday, with a divorce that ended a “good on paper” marriage, the loss of nearly all her financial stability, and a year spent rebuilding from zero while living in her childhood bedroom. What followed was not a collapse, but an “uncorking,” a period of deep self-reflection, creative awakening, and intentional redesign of her life, her finances, and her sense of self.

Episode Highlights

1. How a career that looked unconventional on paper led Mikelann to pioneer money coaching before it was widely known
2. Why “losing everything” after divorce felt terrifying and oddly freeing at the same time
3. The messy middle between ending a marriage and starting over financially at age 40
4. How journaling, therapy, and deep self-reflection helped her rebuild from the ground up
5. The shift from living by external “shoulds” to designing a life that actually fit
6. Why knowing yourself is the foundation of both financial peace and personal fulfillment
7. How synchronicity, intuition, and curiosity led Mikelann to Argentine tango, and how dance became part of her second adulthood

Midlife transitions are rarely neat or linear, but they can be profoundly liberating. Through honesty, humor, and hard-earned wisdom, Mikelann illustrates how rebuilding after loss can open the door to creativity, clarity, and trusting yourself. Her story reframes starting over not as failure, but as an invitation to design a life that aligns with who you truly are, not who you were told to be.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find these stories and reminds listeners that they are not alone in the messy middle.

Guest Resources

Take the Money Personality Quiz (In the top bar!)

Connect with Mikelann on Facebook

Connect with Mikelann on IG

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Connect with Mikelann on Pinterest

Mikelann’s website

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Guest Bio

Andrea McGinty’s journey is as compelling as the love stories she’s helped create. After being dumped at the altar in her 20s, founding It’s Just Lunch Matchmaking in 1990 (before Google and online dating), and later navigating divorce after 24 years of marriage, Andrea took a four-year pause from dating to focus on raising her teenage daughter. When she decided to jump back into the dating world, she approached it strategically, and it paid off—her sixth first date turned into her husband, whom she married in Rome in 2024.

As the founder of It’s Just Lunch in the 1990s, Andrea revolutionized the matchmaking industry. Her innovative service grew to over 110 locations worldwide and facilitated over 33,000 setups, resulting in more than 10,000 marriages. Today, her company, 33,000 Dates, focuses on helping the over-45 crowd find love in the second act of their lives. Currently, 65% of her clients are in long-term relationships, a testament to her expertise and unique methods.

Often referred to as the OG or “Godmother” of modern dating, Andrea’s impact extends beyond her clients. Like an NFL coaching tree, more than 40% of today’s top 25 matchmakers trace their roots back to Andrea’s mentorship and pioneering techniques. Her influence has shaped the industry, creating a legacy that stands out in the world of matchmaking.

Andrea’s work has garnered extensive media attention. She has been featured on Oprah, People, Today Show, and named Entrepreneur of the Month on the Early Show. As a sought-after speaker, she has addressed audiences at the American Marketing Association and other prestigious events. Her insights and passion have made her a trusted voice in the realm of love and relationships.

With over three decades of experience, Andrea doesn’t just write about dating; she’s lived it. Her latest book, 2nd Acts: Winning Strategies for Dating Over 50, combines personal anecdotes and professional expertise to guide singles on finding meaningful connections later in life. Andrea’s vibrant, no-nonsense approach continues to inspire and empower those ready to embrace their second act with optimism and love.

Turning 40 and realizing success is not the same as alignment

Andrea McGinty built one of the most successful dating companies in the world before most of us had email, Google, or any idea what online dating might become. But by midlife, the business she had poured herself into, along with the marriage built alongside it, no longer fit who she was becoming. Andrea shares what it was like to grow up as the oldest daughter in a big Irish Catholic family; launch It’s Just Lunch with $3,000 and a dream;, navigate public success alongside private fear; and ultimately listen to the quiet inner voice that told her it was time for something different. Her midlife transition includes selling a global company, divorcing amicably, facing cancer, and stepping fully into a second act built around values, alignment, and deeply personal fulfillment.

Episode Highlights

1. Growing up as the oldest child in a large Irish Catholic family and how responsibility and resilience shaped Andrea early on
2. Launching It’s Just Lunch before online dating existed, and how sheer scrappiness, intuition, and grit fueled its success
3. The emotional reality of early entrepreneurship: outward confidence paired with constant private fear
4. What happens when success scales beyond recognition, and the work you love turns into meetings you dread
5. How selling a wildly successful company coincided with a deeper reassessment of marriage, values, and family life
6. The slow, internal process of deciding to divorce, and why midlife clarity often arrives quietly, not dramatically

Andrea’s story is a great reminder that midlife change is not always sparked by crisis or collapse. Sometimes it comes from clarity. As external pressures fall away, what matters most rises to the surface. This episode explores how success can evolve into misalignment, how values become louder in our forties, and how honoring that inner voice can open the door to a more honest, grounded, and fulfilling second adulthood.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. Your support helps more people realize they are not alone in this transition.

Guest Resources

Connect with Andrea on Instagram

33,000 Dates

Do you have the Midlife Ick?

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Dr. Deborah Heiser is an applied developmental psychologist, the CEO/Founder of The Mentor Project, and author of The Mentorship Edge. She is a TEDx speaker, member of Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches, Thinkers 50 Radar List, expert contributor to Psychology Today and is also an Adjunct Professor.

Turning 40 and asking ‘what if’

What happens when a lifelong researcher stops studying everything no one wants to have and instead turns her attention toward what we get to look forward to as we age? For Dr. Deborah Heiser, the answer was a midlife awakening that liberated her from expectations, perfectionism, and the need for a safety net. In her early forties, she left a secure and prestigious research career to build a new life rooted in purpose, fulfillment, and the belief that emotional growth continues long after our bodies start to creak. She discovered that midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s a transition, and it is rich with potential if we’re willing to ask one simple question: what if?

In this warm and energizing conversation, Deborah and Stephanie explore the emotional arc of adulthood, the surprising freedom that comes with experience, and why midlife may be the happiest, most meaningful chapter yet.

Episode Highlights

• How Deborah walked away from a secure research career at 40 to pursue meaning, joy, and a new definition of success.
• The surprising freedom that comes from realizing the “tightrope” of big life changes is actually close to the ground.
• The shift from relying on external authority to trusting your own experience and expertise.
• Why the emotional trajectory of life goes up even as the physical one goes down.
• Midlife transitions vs. midlife crisis: how changing the language opens new possibilities.
• How cultural norms have shifted since the 1970s, and what Millennials bring to the midlife conversation.
• The power of asking “What if?” to reveal possibilities, uncover desires, and subtract what no longer serves you.
• Why fulfillment becomes non-negotiable in your forties, and how to follow the internal cues that point you toward it.

This conversation takes an insightful deep dive into the emotional transition of midlife, guided by someone who has both studied it and lived it. Stephanie and Deborah unpack why our forties often spark a shift toward fulfillment, autonomy, and self-trust, and how curiosity, not crisis, is the real engine behind change. Through stories, science, and a few well-placed laughs, they reframe midlife as an exciting developmental stage where we get to rethink our choices, reclaim our authority, and create lives that feel good from the inside out.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh so more people can discover what this transition is really all about.

Guest Resources

Deborah’s book: The Mentorship Edge: Creating Maximum Impact Through Lateral and Hierarchical Mentoring

Deborah’s Psychology Today Blog about Turning 40

Article: The Midlife “What if?”

Connect with Deborah on Instagram

Connect with Deborah on TikTok 

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Lauren Hayes is speaker, author and relationship coach specializing in supporting ethically non-monogamous (ENM) couples, including swingers and the ENM-curious. She helps couples navigate and engage the swinging and non-monogamous community in the healthiest of ways. She holds the perspective that non-monogamous relationships share the same foundations of any healthy relationship, however, they need to operate at a higher level of health to accommodate the additional complexities. Her approach aims to help couples build their ideal relationship, regardless of whether or how many others it includes. She also brings personal experience to her coaching having been married for 20+ years and ENM (swingers) for the last 6+ years.

Turning 40 and Rewriting the Rules of Love

Lauren Hayes shares a story of courage, curiosity, and radical honesty. From an early childhood experience that left her believing she had to earn love, Lauren built a life of high achievement and independence. But when motherhood stripped away her identity and marriage revealed deep emotional patterns, she began the hard work of healing. That healing eventually led her, and her husband, to explore non-monogamy, a journey that brought her closer to self-acceptance, intimacy, and personal freedom than she’d ever known. Now a relationship coach and author, Lauren shares how learning to trust her own voice and desires transformed not just her marriage but her sense of self.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How a “funny” childhood story revealed the root of a lifelong belief that she had to earn love
• The surprising ways people-pleasing shows up even in adulthood and marriage
• What happens when independence becomes a trauma response instead of a strength
• How becoming a mother cracked open her identity and forced her to redefine “being enough”
• What ethical non-monogamy is, and what it isn’t
• How exploring non-traditional relationships can become a path to deep personal growth
• The empowerment that comes from embracing your sexuality and using your voice

Lauren’s midlife transformation story is an invitation to examine the stories we tell ourselves about love, worth, and belonging. What began as a journey to fix what wasn’t working turned into an awakening to her own inner truth. Through therapy, personal growth, and open-hearted exploration, she discovered that love rooted in authenticity and self-knowledge is more fulfilling than love earned through approval or performance. Her story is proof that midlife isn’t a crisis: it’s a chance to rewrite the script and live in alignment with who you truly are.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast; it helps more people find these conversations about transformation, truth, and growth.

Guest Resources

Get Lauren’s book, “For Better or Even Better: 7 Lessons on Love & Life from a Non-Monogamist 

Connect with Lauren on Facebook 

Connect with Lauren on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

Connect

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The Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Season 8: The Truth About the Midlife Transition

Stephanie McLaughlin kicks off Season 8 of The Big Four Oh with a warm, wise, and funny solo episode that unpacks what really happens during the midlife transition. Forget the tired “midlife crisis” cliché; there are no red sports cars or blonde secretaries named Muffy here. Instead, Stephanie shares the real story: how our 40s invite us to pause, reevaluate, and rebuild our lives from the inside out. Drawing on lessons from Season 7’s guests, she maps out what midlife transformation actually looks like: messy, revealing, full of friction, and ultimately full of grace.

In this episode, Stephanie explores:

• The moment “The Ick” sets in; when life still looks fine on paper but feels off inside
• The shift from achievement mode to alignment mode, and why your old definition of success might no longer fit
• How subconscious rules and patterns formed in childhood quietly shape adult life
• The power of pausing, whether it’s intentional or forced by burnout, loss, or exhaustion
• Why stillness isn’t failure, but the space to find where your next chapter begins
• How creativity becomes a tool for healing and rebuilding confidence
• What it means to anchor your worth internally instead of chasing external validation

This episode is your midlife decoder ring; a guide to what’s breaking, what’s being rebuilt, and what it all means. Stephanie walks you through the patterns that surfaced in Season 7’s conversations and sets the tone for Season 8. It’s a compassionate, funny, and refreshingly real look at how midlife isn’t a crisis, but a renovation, and why you’re not late, you’re right on time for your own life.

If you enjoy the show, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh wherever you listen. It helps other people find the podcast, and reminds them they’re not alone on this midlife journey.

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Terry Tateossian—a midlife health coach, certified trainer, nutritionist, and host of How Good Can It Get.Terry’s story of how she lost over 80 pounds in her mid-40s and transformed every area of her life — while running a business and raising a family — speaks directly to women going through midlife transitions. Her message is clear: your most impactful chapter may still be ahead.

Turning 40 and healing the workaholic

Terry Tateossian’s story begins in communist Bulgaria and stretches all the way to the boardrooms of Fortune 100 companies. By her late 30s, she achieved what many would call “success,” a booming marketing agency, two children, and a tireless work ethic. But that relentless drive came with a cost: two hospitalizations, burnout, and a total disconnection from herself. Her midlife transformation began not with another business plan, but with a reckoning with her body. Through deep inner work, Terry learned to stop running on survival mode and instead reconnect with the parts of herself she’d long silenced. 

Episode Highlights

• From refugee to entrepreneur: Terry’s early life in a Bulgarian refugee camp taught her survival, grit, and resourcefulness, skills that would later fuel her success.
• Workaholism disguised as strength: As she built her business empire, Terry’s need for control and constant motion masked deeper wounds from childhood loss and trauma.
• The wake-up call: Two terrifying hospital visits in her 30s finally made her listen to her body after decades of ignoring it.
• The bull and the baby: Terry shares a powerful metaphor for healing the “bull” that once protected her and the “baby” within who needed love and attention to heal.
• Learning stillness: After walking away from her company, Terry began to rebuild her life slowly, learning to sit with discomfort and rediscover joy.
• Healing through feeling: Allowing herself to grieve her father’s death years after learning of it became the turning point that confirmed she was truly healing.
• A new kind of success: Today, Terry finds fulfillment not in hustle but in helping others rediscover wholeness through retreats and holistic coaching.

In this deeply human conversation, Terry Tateossian opens up about the cost of constant striving and the grace that comes with slowing down. From escaping communism to building a thriving agency to walking away from it all, her story is a testament to resilience and rebirth. Midlife didn’t just ask her to change her ways; it invited her to finally feel her feelings. Terry’s insights about self-compassion, emotional honesty, and healing the “bull and baby” within will resonate with anyone who’s ever worked themselves to exhaustion trying to prove their worth.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh so more people can discover stories like Terry’s.

Guest Resources

Connect with Terry on Instagram

Terry’s website, THOR

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Ray Martin, aka The Daily Explorer, is an entrepreneur and award-winning business leader. As a coach, mentor, facilitator, speaker, writer, and mindfulness teacher, he is a torchbearer for greater human consciousness. Ray is also a marathon runner and fundraiser. He’s on a mission to empower people to live authentically and to bring more joy and happiness into the world.

Turning 40 and taking the next right step

At 43, Ray Martin’s seemingly perfect life collapsed overnight. A thriving consulting firm, public recognition as the United Kingdom’s “Business Leader of the Year,” and a marriage that doubled as a business partnership: all of it came undone when his wife walked out and his father died within months of each other. Suddenly, the man who had done everything “right” was standing in the rubble of his own blueprint, wondering if happiness was forever out of reach. What followed was a radical reinvention that took Ray from despair in London to the stage in Australia, to a six-month backpacking trip across Asia that turned into 14 years of minimalist living, marathon running, and meditation. His journey shows us what can happen when you stop playing the character others expect you to be and start writing your own script.

Highlights from this episode:

• How Ray’s life imploded at 43 despite having “checked every box” of success.
• The moment he realized “Ray the Businessman” was just a character he had created.
• Why listening to his gut, and asking for confirmation signals, became his compass.
• How a 10-day silent meditation retreat shifted his mindset from outside-in to inside-out happiness.
• The sabbatical that turned into 14 years of travel, minimalism, and discovery.
• The guiding principles he created to stop the cycle of negative self-talk.
• Building a foundation of trust in intuition that led him to running marathons, fundraising, and eventually writing his memoir, Life Without a Tie.

Ray Martin’s story is a vivid reminder that midlife is less about crisis and more about opportunity. When the life he had built fell apart, he discovered that identity is flexible, happiness can be cultivated from within, and alignment with your true self often means following the path that feels effortless. His journey from boardrooms to backpacks invites us to reflect on the characters we play, the voices we listen to, and the possibility of stepping into the role of author and director of our own lives.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast so more people can hear these powerful stories of transformation.

Guest Resources

Get a signed copy of Ray’s book, Life Without a Tie

Connect with Ray on LinkedIn

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Denise G. Lee is a healing and leadership coach who helps high-achieving adults untangle the inner scripts they didn’t know they were living by. She works with people who look like they have it all together—but quietly wonder why it still feels hollow. In her work, Denise invites honest reflection on identity, success, and the invisible expectations we carry, especially as we age. Her podcast and coaching explore what it means to lead from emotional clarity, not cultural pressure.

Turning 40 and tuning into a new frequency

When Denise G. Lee hit her mid-30s, she was juggling new motherhood, an immigrant identity that didn’t fit neatly into any box, and the heavy weight of a painful childhood. From the outside, her life looked picture-perfect, but on the inside, Denise was still carrying chaos, addiction, and self-doubt. It wasn’t until a series of wake-up calls, including getting kicked out of a therapist’s office and facing hard truths in recovery, that she began the long process of “growing up” on the inside. Now in her 40s, Denise has stepped into a life of healing, self-trust, and authentic leadership, and she’s sharing what it really takes to get there.

Highlights from this episode:

• How Denise’s immigrant upbringing shaped her sense of identity and belonging.
• Becoming a first-time mom at 35 and wrestling with feelings of being “too old” and unprepared.
• The chaos and trauma of her childhood, and how it stunted her inner growth.
• The pivotal moment at 27 when a therapist sent her to Sexaholics Anonymous, forcing her to face her addictions and denial.
• What it meant to outgrow her environment and seek a fresh start in Texas.
• The danger of chasing image and comparison, and how Denise learned to stop living by others’ timelines.
• Redefining leadership, moving away from manipulation toward empathy, resilience, and safety.
• The ongoing process of tuning into her “inner voices” and learning to trust herself.

In this episode, you’ll hear a story that proves growth isn’t linear: it’s layered, messy, and deeply human. Denise’s journey from chaos to clarity is a reminder that midlife isn’t about hitting milestones on a set timeline. It’s about waking up, tuning into the right frequencies within yourself, and learning to lead your own life with compassion and courage.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find the show, and reminds them they’re not alone in this wild midlife transition.

Guest Resources

Connect with Denise on Facebook 

Connect with Denise on Instagram

Get Denise’s Life Script Questionnaire, free for listeners of The Big Four Oh

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Sabrina Victoria is a seasoned entrepreneur and TEDx speaker with a background in door-to-door sales. She brings over two decades of experience of building and co-building multiple 6 and 7-figure businesses to Her Nation Global, a dynamic media platform showcasing women business owners through podcasts, virtual magazine features, and empowering events. Her charismatic leadership style centers on community building, education, and strategic networking as the core of success for women in business.

Turning 40 and Googling 'why is my boyfriend so mean to me’

Sabrina Victoria’s story is one of grit, resilience, and rebirth. Raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, she was disfellowshipped at just 20 years old after becoming a single mom. What followed was a tumble into isolation, addiction, and eventually an abusive relationship that nearly consumed her. But Sabrina’s midlife transformation began with one late-night Google search that opened her eyes, gave her a new language for what she was experiencing, and set her on a path to reclaim her life, her freedom, and ultimately, her voice. Today, she runs a community to empower women and she’s living proof that even in your darkest moment, hope and healing are possible.

Highlights in this episode:

• How Sabrina’s strict religious upbringing shaped her early years—and left her vulnerable when she was cast out
• The turning point when she chose sobriety and has stayed sober for the next 20 years
• The insidious ways financial, emotional, and psychological abuse can strip away autonomy
• The breakdown moment that led to the Google search that saved her life
• The secret businesses, hidden bank account, and quiet determination that became her ticket to freedom
• The role of personal development voices like Lisa Nichols, Tony Robbins, and Les Brown in keeping her motivated
• How Sabrina has navigated relationships in her 30s and 40s and found balance between masculine drive and feminine energy
• The liberating realization that she had a choice—and how that awareness changed everything

Sabrina’s journey from being silenced and controlled to finding her voice is inspiring. Her story reminds us that midlife transitions often come with both hardship and profound opportunity. She illustrates how resilience, resourcefulness, and a refusal to give up “until” can transform even the most difficult circumstances into a life filled with freedom, balance, and authenticity.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast so more people can discover these stories of midlife transformation.

Guest Resources

Connect with Sabrina on Facebook

Connect with Sabrina on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick?

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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When Edel Howlin moved from Ireland to Houston in her late 20s, she was certain she was building her dream life. She found her calling in public radio and was thriving professionally. But a decade later, and another relocation, to Philadelphia in her late 30s, triggered a profound and unexpected unraveling. What started as a fresh chapter became a full-on identity crisis. Without a job to define her and overwhelmed by change, Edel found herself crying, storming out of the house, and eventually taking refuge in bed with a cup of tea and banana bread. That messy, quiet breakdown would become the birthplace of her reinvention. In this episode, Edel shares how she built a business from the ashes, and why she’s never been happier.

Highlights from this episode:

• Edel’s winding path from a science degree in Ireland to her dream job in public radio in Houston
• Why moving to a new city in her late 30s upended her identity, and led to a full-blown midlife crisis
• How a literal pause (in bed, with banana bread) helped her start listening to her inner voice
• The moment she realized she’d been chasing “success” instead of happiness
• How gardening unexpectedly planted the seeds for her next chapter
• The surprising empowerment of realizing: I am enough, without needing outside validation
• Why her business now feels like joy, not just work

Edel Howlin’s story is a beautiful reminder that sometimes, the path to who we’re meant to be isn’t straight; it’s full of detours, breakdowns, and banana bread-fueled breakthroughs. In her 20s, she followed her husband and her love for radio across the Atlantic. In her late 30s, she followed her husband to Philadelphia, and promptly lost her sense of self. But in the pause, she began to hear her own voice. What emerged was not just a new career path, but a deeper understanding of herself. Edel's midlife transition wasn’t graceful, but it was powerful. And today, she’s living life on her own terms, with more joy and confidence than ever before.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. Your support helps more people find these stories of midlife transformation.

Guest Resources

Connect with Edel on Facebook 

Connect with Edel on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Beginning in her teens, Patty Cabot battled drastic weight fluctuations. Desperate to break the cycle and thinking it was what prevented her from meeting men, in her late 30s Patty embarked on a therapeutic journey that led to her unresolved childhood sexual abuse. Over 12 years she worked with her therapist and EMDR, a chiropractor to release trapped “fight or flight” responses, a sex therapist and attended group therapy for sexual abuse. Patty published Not That Girl Anymore, a memoir about the alternative therapies she explored in the hopes of undoing the ruin within to claim the happiness she – and everyone else struggling with trauma – deserves.

Turning 40 and finding the wound beneath the weight

What if the thing you’ve been battling for decades - your weight, your relationships, your shame - was never the real issue? This week’s guest, Patty Cabot, spent 20 years trapped in a cycle of yo-yo dieting, self-doubt, and emotional isolation before a turning point at 38 led her to finally confront the childhood trauma she thought she had long since buried and forgotten about. Through therapy, unconventional healing modalities, and a fierce determination to find love and wholeness, Patty transformed her life from the inside out. 

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• *Trigger warning* discussion of childhood sexual abuse; no details
• How a cycle of weight loss and gain led Patty to uncover deeper unresolved trauma
• The transformative power of EMDR therapy and what it taught her about her past
• Why anger was the only emotion she could access, and how she learned to feel more
• How vulnerability became a gateway to healing and connection
• The role running (literally!) played in finding love and confidence
• Why publishing her book helped lift the final layer of shame
• The profound insight: “it’s not your shame, and it’s not your secret to keep”

Patty Cabot’s midlife transition is a powerful example of what’s possible when we stop treating the symptom and start addressing the root cause. After decades of believing her weight and romantic struggles were the problem, Patty finally faced her childhood trauma head-on, peeling back the layers of self-protection to rediscover her worth and capacity for love. Her healing wasn’t linear, but it was bold, and in the process, she transformed shame into self-acceptance and silence into storytelling. Today, she’s helping others believe that healing is not only possible—it’s worth it.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh wherever you listen to podcasts. Your support means the world!

Guest Resources

Get your FREE copy of Patty’s book, Not That Girl Anymore

Connect with Patty on Facebook 

Connect with Patty on Instagram 

Connect with Patty on TikTok

Do you have the Midlife Ick?

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Anne Butler Montgomery has worked as a television sportscaster, newspaper and magazine writer, teacher, author, and amateur sports official. She worked for five TV stations, including ESPN where she anchored SportsCenter and finished her on-camera broadcasting career with a two-year stint as the studio host for the NBA’s Phoenix Suns. Montgomery was a freelance and/or staff reporter for six publications and has written six traditionally published novels. Montgomery taught journalism and communication skills in a Title I high school for 20 years and was an amateur sports official for four decades, a time during which she called football, baseball, ice hockey, soccer, and basketball games. Montgomery is a foster mom to three sons and a daughter. When she can, she indulges in her passions: rock collecting, scuba diving, and playing her guitar.

Turning 40 and facing a midlife curveball

Anne Montgomery broke barriers as one of the first female sportscasters in the U.S., working for five television stations—including anchoring SportsCenter at ESPN—during an era when women were barely visible in sports media. But when her contract wasn’t renewed at age 38, her career came to an abrupt halt, and she faced a painful truth: the industry thought she was too old to be on TV. What followed was a years-long identity crisis marked by debt, self-doubt, and the collapse of her marriage. And yet, as she shares in this remarkable conversation, Anne's midlife “derailment” led her to the most meaningful work—and relationships—of her life.

In this heartfelt and often hilarious episode, Anne recounts the twists and turns of a life that didn’t go as planned, but ended up exactly where she was meant to be.

Highlights from the episode:

• The moment in high school when Anne insisted on reading the sports—and never looked back
• How she trained as a referee in five sports to learn the rules and build credibility as a sportscaster
• What it was like to be the only woman in the locker room, on the sidelines, and at ESPN in the 1980s
• The brutal way she was pushed out of TV and how long it took to find her footing again
• The unexpected friendship that helped her shift perspective and stop feeling sorry for herself
• How returning to school at 42 led her to a 20-year teaching career that reshaped her identity
• The emotional story of how she became a mother—at age 55—to one of her former students

Anne Montgomery’s story is one of perseverance, reinvention, and unexpected blessings. What began as a pioneering career in sports broadcasting eventually gave way to an equally meaningful chapter as a teacher and foster mother. Her journey reminds us that losing what we thought we wanted can clear space for what’s truly meant for us—and that midlife transitions, no matter how messy, can become the catalyst for our most profound growth.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps others find the show—and who knows, it might help someone else feel a little less alone in their own midlife transition.

Guest Resources

Connect with Anne on Facebook

Anne’s author website

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Reflections: The Cost of Hustle in Midlife

In this episode, Stephanie explores the hard-earned wisdom that comes when midlife forces us to slow down. Whether through burnout, illness, or emotional exhaustion, many of us hit a moment where hustle stops working, and stillness becomes not just necessary, but enlightening. Drawing from past guest stories and her own experience, Stephanie reflects on how slowing down can shift our relationship with productivity, identity, and self-worth. Midlife, it turns out, might just be the invitation we need to listen more closely to the voice within—and discover a gentler, more honest way of being.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Why hustle is so deeply ingrained for many of us—and how it eventually starts to break down
• The breaking points that forced past guests like Anna Brooke, Tina Bakehouse, and Jennifer Arthurton to stop pushing
• How quiet moments revealed surprising truths for Stephanie Rose and Steve Vincent
• The disorientation (and gift) of realizing you don’t really know yourself
• The difference between judgment and discernment—and why it matters
• How slowing down opens space to reconnect with long-lost parts of ourselves
• Stephanie’s personal journey toward redefining productivity on her own term

Slowing down isn’t the end of ambition—it’s the beginning of wisdom. In the stillness, we stop performing life and start living inside it. Whether midlife has already forced your pause or you’re just beginning to question the pace, this episode is a gentle reminder that your inner voice is worth listening to—and it’s probably not asking you to hustle.

If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh with a friend. It might be just the nudge they need today.

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Anna Brooke is an author, speaker, and healing arts practitioner dedicated to helping people reconnect with their hearts and core creative spark. She is the author of the award-winning book Stripped Down: How Burlesque Led Me Home and co-author of WRITE! Your Guide to Revealing the Writer Within. She is also known as Rev. Legs Malone, a burlesque performer, show producer, educator and advocate who has been featured in Page Six, Buzzfeed, and Huffington Post. She has taught her transformational workshops nationally and internationally since 2010.

Turning 40 and trading high heels for healing

What happens when you finally listen to the quiet voice inside you—and it says “burlesque dancer”? Anna Brooke’s story is a masterclass in trusting your gut, embracing your weird, and healing from the burnout that comes from doing all the “right” things. 

From her early days of internal tug-of-war between what she wanted and what others expected, to becoming Rev. Legs Malone on the stages of New York City, Anna shares how stepping fully into joy changed everything. When a back injury at 39 forced her to slow down, she began a deeper journey—this time into the healing arts, entrepreneurship, and the hard-won clarity of her 40s.

Episode Highlights:

• How Anna navigated a lifelong conflict between doing what she wanted and what she “should” do
• The serendipitous moment when intuition told her to become a burlesque dancer—and how she listened
• Creating and evolving the on-stage persona of Rev. Legs Malone
• The toll of hustle culture on her physical health, and the injury that forced a complete lifestyle shift
• Finding strength through slowing down, healing, and learning to trust herself
• Letting go of the “shoulds” and learning to follow discernment over judgment
• Why self-expression and joy are powerful tools for personal transformation

Anna’s story reminds us that our bodies don’t lie, joy is a radical act, and that sometimes the most powerful transformations come from sitting still long enough to hear ourselves. If you’ve ever felt pulled in too many directions or wondered what it might look like to trust your intuition, this conversation will inspire you to take the next right step—for you.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people navigating life’s beautiful, bumpy middle!

Guest Resources

Connect with Anna on Facebook

Connect with Anna on Instagram

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Reflections: What Burnout Is Really Trying to Tell You

What happens when the success you’ve worked so hard to achieve starts to break you down? In this special solo episode, Stephanie takes us on a deep and thoughtful journey into burnout—not just as exhaustion, but as a wake-up call. Inspired by her recent conversation with Angela Hwang, and supported by clips from past guests including Jennifer Arthurton, Tara McFarland, AdaPia D’Errico, Julie Hutsell-Starling, and Mindy Amita Aisling, Stephanie unpacks how burnout intersects with the invisible cost of “doing everything right” and the powerful, often uncomfortable process of learning to trust your own voice.

Episode Highlights

• Why burnout isn't a failure—it's a signal that something deeper needs your attention
• How following someone else’s script can lead to an identity crisis around age 40
• The three patterns of burnout that show up most often (and how to recognize them)
• What happens when the external validation you've relied on starts to falter
• Real stories of women who lost themselves in their roles—and how they found their way back
• How tuning into your body, voice and intuition can lead to radical transformation
• The truth about hearing your own voice: it’s not loud, but it is honest

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Angela Hwang has more than 18 years of experience in marketing and business development. Angela has helped to raise more than $150M in direct investments for real estate fund managers since 2020 and contributed to significant revenue growth for various tech startups since 2016. She has a wide array of experience across multiple industries including financial services, real estate, legal and technology. In 2021, Angela was selected as one of 40 under 40 by Silicon Valley Business Journal for her marketing leadership. Angela graduated from University of California, Berkeley with a B.A. in Mass Communications and a B.A. in Sociology and earned her M.B.A. from Pepperdine University.

Turning 40 and unlearning the American Dream

Angela Hwang checked every box on the “successful life” checklist her parents handed her, and then realized none of it was making her happy. Born in South Korea and raised in the U.S., Angela spent decades chasing stability, prestige, and approval—especially from her parents, who had sacrificed everything for the American Dream. She climbed through the corporate ranks, earned accolades like Silicon Valley’s 40 Under 40, and reached the coveted C-suite. But behind the scenes, she was unraveling. It wasn’t until a terrifying health scare and the sobering clarity of new motherhood that Angela finally began to question the life she had built—and discovered the strength to redefine it.

Episode Highlights:

• Angela’s upbringing as a first-generation Korean-American and internalizing a success script rooted in her parents’ fear, thus the immense pressure to achieve “safe” success.
• Climbing the corporate ladder—and the personal cost of doing so while hiding burnout and physical symptoms.
• The turning point: how becoming a mother and experiencing a health crisis forced Angela to reevaluate her priorities.
• Breaking generational narratives around work, safety, and entrepreneurship.
• The shift from external validation (titles, salaries, luxury goods) to internal fulfillment and presence.
• Selling off her designer wardrobe, trading Silicon Valley hustle for quiet comfort—and finding her true self in the process.
• How sleep, stillness, and finally listening to her own voice laid the foundation for shedding her parents’ fears and starting her own business.

In this deeply honest conversation, Angela Hwang shares what it’s like to reach the top of the ladder your parents built for you—and realize it’s leaning against the wrong wall. Her story is an invitation to question the narratives we inherit, especially when they’re rooted in fear, sacrifice, and survival. If you’ve ever wondered whose life you’re really living, this episode will leave you thinking—and maybe even reimagining what your next chapter could be.

If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate, follow, and share The Big Four Oh with a friend who might need a little inspiration of their own.

Guest Resources

Angela is offering TBFO listeners a FREE Complementary Strategy Session

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Fifteen years ago, Jenn Kacmar was balancing working as an ob/gyn at the county health department, parenting two elementary-aged boys, and surviving the culture shock of life in a small Southern town after a decade living in New England. More than ten years younger, Rose Planer was newly engaged and preparing to move to her soon-to-be husband’s hometown where she would hold a few different jobs, including palliative care coordinator and trauma therapist, before starting her own family.

In many ways, we owe our friendship to women a generation ahead of us who brought us together at, of all things, an engagement party. While we couldn’t predict the depths our friendship would reach, we both felt the “zing” of recognizing a kindred spirit at that initial meeting. Over the years, we have supported each other, learned from each other, bickered with each other. We “bubbled” together during Covid. And, yes, we have even survived traveling together! But one of the best things to come out of our friendship was creative collaboration. 

Writing a novel together propelled our friendship to a new level. This life-changing experience offered a tremendous opportunity to learn more about ourselves and each other. Working together to frame a story, to bring it and its characters to life, was both challenging and exhilarating. Having a teammate to share in the process proved invaluable—when one of us had an off day, the other picked up the slack and vice versa. We bring complementary strengths to our partnership and believe we have both become better writers from working together. More importantly, however, we feel compelled to share the secret power this friendship revealed: the power of connection and creative collaboration to extinguish the mid-life "Ick."

Turning 40 and making art out of the mess

What if your midlife transformation didn’t happen alone—but in lockstep with your best friend? In this episode, we meet Jenn Kacmar and Rose Planer, who navigated the complexities of motherhood, identity, and burnout during the pandemic—and found a lifeline in each other. Their friendship began at an engagement party and blossomed into a life-saving connection that not only saw them through the icky, isolating parts of midlife, but also gave birth to something beautiful: a novel they co-wrote during lockdown. These women didn’t just survive; they created.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• How Jenn and Rose’s unlikely friendship began across a 12-year age gap—and why it became their greatest midlife survival tool
• Jenn’s journey from high-achieving OB-GYN to burnout and reinvention
• Rose’s pivot from aspiring journalist to therapist after the loss of her sister
• The crushing loneliness of motherhood during COVID—and how they turned it into creative fuel
• Honest reflections on alcohol as a culturally “acceptable” coping mechanism for overwhelmed moms
• The transformative power of collaboration, and how their friendship turned into a creative partnership
• Why their novel Snowflakes in the South became both a lifeline and a legacy

One last thing…

Jenn and Rose are proof that friendship can be a transformative force—not just a comfort, but a catalyst. Their story is a reminder that we don’t always have to navigate the messy middle alone. Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is find a friend, make some art, and redefine what fulfillment looks like in this season of life. 

If this episode resonated with you, don’t forget to rate, follow, and leave a review for The Big Four Oh. It helps new listeners find the show—and might just connect them with the lifeline they didn’t know they needed.

Guest Resources

Get their book: Snowflakes in the South by Jenn Kacmar and Rose Planer

Connect with Rose and Jenn on Facebook 

Connect with Rose and Jenn on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

If you're curious about energy/magic then you need to meet Elizabeth Elenor. Her journey through her 40s was the progression of taking back her power as she left her narcissistic marriage and he started dating a 21 year old. A deep dive into personal power led her to discover the secrets of alchemy; she merged this knowledge with 25 years of being a healer to create The Ascendance Code and energetically align with her Higher Self Wisdom.

Turning 40 and resigning as the family fixer

Elizabeth Makepeace was living a vibrant life in the tropics of Far North Queensland—raising her kids, running a successful healing practice, and feeling aligned in mind, body, and spirit. But when she met a charming, younger musician who swept her off her feet, her well-calibrated world began to shift. What started as a dream romance quickly turned into a rigid, emotionally complex marriage that echoed a painful pattern from her past: the need to care for and fix others, often at her own expense.

In this candid and deeply personal episode, Elizabeth shares how a midlife unraveling—marked by loss, anxiety, and the crumbling of family trust—pushed her to finally recognize a generational caretaking pattern she’d been unconsciously replaying. Her story is one of heartbreak, healing, and ultimately, liberation. And yes—her real-life love story ends with a twist that feels straight out of a fairy tale (complete with a symbolic last name!).

Episode Highlights

• Elizabeth’s early life as a caretaker for her ill father shaped her subconscious belief that love means caregiving
• How a “dream come true” romance slowly morphed into an emotionally taxing marriage marked by control and rigidity
• The moment she realized she couldn’t heal her partner—and the empowerment of walking away
• Rebuilding trust with her children and healing her own trauma through bodywork and reflection
• The emotional and spiritual reckoning that came with turning 40—and the clarity it brought
• Her advice for listeners: examine the “movie” of your life and ask why certain characters keep showing up in the same roles
• The joyful discovery of a new, healthy relationship built on peace and mutual care

Elizabeth’s story is a wonderful reminder that no matter how much personal work we’ve done, there are always deeper layers waiting to be revealed. Her midlife unraveling wasn’t a failure—it was the doorway to true healing. By identifying the patterns that kept her stuck and tracing them back to their origins, she was able to finally break the cycle. And in doing so, she made peace—with her past, her pain, and eventually, with a man whose name poetically symbolized that transformation.

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, follow and review the podcast. Your support helps more listeners discover these transformative stories.

Guest Resources

Get Elizabeth’s Love Code

Connect with Elizabeth on Facebook

Connect with Elizabeth on Instagram

Connect with Elizabeth on TikTok

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Francesca Montillo grew up in Italy until the age of 11, upon which time she moved to Boston with her family. She spent every summer after the move back in Calabria, enjoying time at the beach, local markets and spending time with childhood friends. It was during her trips back that her love for Italy grew even more intensely. 

Her initial career ambitions were to work in law enforcement and she holds a Bachelor's degree in Criminology and Law. After a short stint in the field, she went on to earn a Masters in Healthcare Management instead. 

After a successful 22+ year career in healthcare management for both private and governmental sectors, Francesca reinvented herself again and took the leap and started her own business, combining her love of Italian travels and cooking. Via her business, Lazy Italian Culinary Adventures, Francesca is able to showcase her native land and its cuisine. Francesca has also written three Amazon bestselling cooking books focusing on Italian dishes.

Turning 40 and turning pasta into a paycheck

Francesca Montillo was living the dream—on paper. With a master’s degree in healthcare administration and a thriving job at a Harvard-affiliated hospital, she had what many would call a “great job.” But deep down, Francesca knew it wasn’t her dream. At 39, just shy of her milestone 40th birthday, she quietly began building a very different life—one steeped in Italian cuisine, rolling Tuscan hills, and the freedom of self-employment. Today, she leads delicious culinary adventures in Italy and has turned her side hustle into a full-blown business and lifestyle. In this episode, Francesca shares how she slowly and strategically transitioned from a traditional career to creating Lazy Italian Culinary Adventures, proving that it's never too late to design a life you love.

Episode Highlights:

• How Francesca’s childhood in Calabria and Boston shaped her love for Italian food and culture.
• The early whispers of entrepreneurship—and why it took nearly 20 years to act on them.
• The delicate balance of building a business while holding down a demanding 9-to-5.
• How COVID nearly derailed her dream—and how she pivoted to Zoom cooking classes and writing cookbooks.
• What finally pushed her to walk away from a safe, successful career in healthcare.
• The cultural tug-of-war between traditional expectations and personal fulfillment.
• Why midlife was the perfect time for Francesca to bet on herself—and what she’d tell others standing at the same crossroads.

This conversation is a reminder that the path to your dream life might not be a straight line—and that’s okay. Francesca’s story shows us the power of patience, planning, and trusting your gut—even if it takes two decades to do something about it. If you’ve ever thought “someday” could be “today,” this is the inspiration you’ve been waiting for.

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, follow, and review The Big Four Oh Podcast. It helps more people find us—and find the courage to make their own big midlife moves.

Guest Resources

Connect with Francesca on Facebook

Connect with Francesca on Instagram 

Get Francesca’s Guide, What to Pack for Italy, on her website! 

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

As a professional writer, teacher, spiritual coach, poet and author, Steve Vincent brings more than 33 years of experience to the table to help others overcome their challenges and live their dharma. A lover of sunsets, his search for the truth of our human existence has stretched from the sands of the Sunshine Coast to the hot springs of New Zealand, to the Peruvian Amazon for ayahuasca ceremonies, and has included many an energetic healing online and in person, and long hours alone pondering the meaning of life.

Originally a high school teacher, faculty head and vice principal then freelance journalist, copywriter, writing coach and marketing consultant, his journey inwards via his popular book “Finding You” has unlocked the pain of the human experience, which emerges in his words that are said to move women to tears and make men squirm. Steve has spoken to audiences as large as 1500 and has coached groups of all ages and sizes. He appears on a weekly international spiritual broadcast and contributes to several weekly self-improvement movements.  

A father of 4 now adult children, he lives on the sub-tropical Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia and when not writing and mentoring others, can be found at one of the beautiful local beaches communing with Mother Earth or gazing out to sea.

Turning 40 and trading safety for soulful

What if the life you built—stable, successful, and safe—started to feel like a cage? This week’s guest, Steve Vincent, opens up about his courageous midlife transformation from high school vice principal to successful freelance copywriter. From the outside, Steve had it all: a leadership role in education, a loving family with four kids, a nice home by the water. But internally, he was wrestling with the quiet sadness of a life that felt too small for his spirit. In this conversation, Steve shares how he stopped ignoring that still, small voice and instead let it guide him toward a radically different—and much more fulfilling—path.

Episode Highlights

• 🌏 Growing up in Brisbane, Australia, with Catholic roots, and how early conditioning shaped his beliefs about success and security
• 
  
• 🧠 The subtle but persistent feeling that “this isn’t working anymore”—and the deep sadness that came with pretending it was
• 
  
• ✨ The power of seemingly small moments—like a passing comment at a seminar—that can flip the switch and open up new possibilities
• 
  
• 💼 How Steve used long service leave to “test drive” his dream of being a full-time copywriter
• 
  
• 🔄 The importance of motion: why getting unstuck often starts with simply doing something new
• 
  
• 🧘‍♂️ Emotional wisdom: learning to accept all of life’s seasons—and finding peace even in discomfort
• 
  
• 📋 A practical technique from Abraham Hicks—the “Placemat Process”—that helped Steve manage overwhelm and shift energy (and that Stephanie plans to try herself!)
• 
  

Steve’s story is a beautiful reminder that courage doesn’t always look like a dramatic leap—it often starts with a whisper in your soul and a single, intentional step forward. If you’re feeling stuck, take a cue from Steve: get into motion. Go to the seminar. Read the book. Take the quiet time. And trust that the next piece of your path will appear. If this episode spoke to you, please rate, follow, and leave a review—we love hearing how these conversations are landing with you.

Guest Resources

Connect with Steve on Instagram

Find Steve online

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Amita is co-founder of NourishDoc, a global holistic wellness platform for women to manage their hormone transition from PMS to Postmenopause. Inspired by her perimenopausal journey and working in the high tech world, she felt unsupported and a need to bring the taboo topic of perimenopause at the workplace for an open discussion. In her experience of going through perimenopause, keeping it a secret added more stress to the perimenopause state. She is on a mission to make this taboo topic be part of DEI, health equity at work for women in their 40's who feel that they cannot discuss this with HR or their colleagues.

Turning 40 and getting dismissed by doctors

For years, Amita Sharma was a high-achieving professional balancing a demanding career in the tech industry with the responsibilities of motherhood. But as she entered her 40s, her body started sending distress signals—chronic fatigue, brain fog, erratic cycles, and mood swings—yet every doctor she saw insisted she was "normal." Frustrated and exhausted, Amita took matters into her own hands, diving deep into holistic medicine, Ayurveda, and functional health. What started as a personal journey to reclaim her vitality soon transformed into a mission to educate and empower other women. Now, through her platform, NourishDoc, Amita is revolutionizing access to credible, affordable, holistic health solutions for perimenopause and beyond.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• 🌿 The wake-up call: Amita’s debilitating fatigue and how doctors dismissed her symptoms
• 🔥 The boardroom battle: Experiencing severe hot flashes in high-pressure corporate meetings
• 🎓 From architecture to tech to holistic health: Amita’s unconventional career path
• 🧠 Why brain fog and exhaustion aren’t "just stress"—and what your doctor might not tell you
• 🔍 The shocking lack of research and education around women’s health post-reproduction
• 🤝 How Amita’s interviews with 3,000+ holistic health experts led to the creation of NourishDoc

 Amita’s story is a powerful reminder that, at midlife, you can turn your breakdown into a breakthrough. By questioning the status quo and seeking out alternative solutions, she found a path to healing that mainstream medicine had overlooked. If you’ve ever felt dismissed or unheard when it comes to your health, this episode is for you. Tune in, take notes, and most importantly, know that you’re not alone.

 ✨ Enjoyed this episode? Don’t forget to rate, follow, and review The Big Four Oh Podcast! Your support helps us bring more important conversations like this to the world. 💙

Guest Resources

NourishDoc platform

Connect with Amita on Facebook

Connect with Amita on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio

I’m Naomi Kreske, a certified life coach, founder of Keep Finding You life coaching, wife, and mother of four. I'm passionate about helping women transform their lives: finding out who they are, what they want and how to get there. After facing one of life’s toughest challenges—divorce—and rebuilding my life from the ground up, I’ve learned how to move from survival mode to truly thriving. It was an aha moment that changed everything for me, and now I have a career I love, a fulfilling marriage, and a life of purpose and happiness. My mission is to help other women find their own aha moment—empowering those who feel stuck, frustrated, and unfulfilled to take charge of their lives. Through my coaching, I help them keep finding themselves.

Turning 40 and Breaking Free from Survival Mode

Naomi Kreske thought she was living the dream—married young, staying home to raise raising three kids, and following the storybook life she always envisioned. But when her marriage unraveled, she found herself unexpectedly lost, navigating single motherhood, financial hardship, and an emotional tailspin that lasted years. Stuck in survival mode, Naomi unknowingly built walls around herself, attracting the wrong relationships and feeling disconnected from her own happiness. It wasn’t until she had a major wake-up call—thanks to a book that hit her like a lightning bolt—that she realized the problem wasn’t just external. It was time to rebuild, redefine, and create Naomi 2.0. This is the story of how she did it.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• How Naomi’s picture-perfect life began to crumble and why she felt like a failure.
• The slow slide into survival mode and how it shaped her relationships, career, and sense of self.
• The pivotal moment that made her realize she had to change who she was being in order to attract the life she wanted.
• The boundaries she set to stop accepting less than she deserved.
• Her journey out of the restaurant business she co-owned with her ex-husband and into a career she loves.
• How she found love—for real this time—after years of dating the wrong people.
• What happiness looks like now and why she’s more fulfilled than ever.

Naomi’s story is a powerful reminder that transformation doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes, the hardest part is realizing that you have to change before your life can. It took years of struggle, self-discovery, and bold decisions, but Naomi came out the other side happier, more fulfilled, and aligned with her true self. Her story proves that even after years of surviving, you can still learn to thrive.

✨ If you loved this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and review The Big Four Oh Podcast! It helps more people find stories like Naomi’s that might just be the push they need. 💛

Guest Resources & Mentions

Naomi’s Midweek Find Newsletter

Connect with Naomi on Facebook 

Connect with Naomi on Instagram 

📖 I'm Done by Lucy Shahjahan – The book that changed everything for Naomi

📖 Two Weeks Notice by Amy Porterfield – The book that gave her the courage to leave her job

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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The Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

As the CEO (Chief Excitement Officer) of Sparks of Fire International, Shā hosts her signature podcast, The Shā Sparks Show and is co-host of UnderWired podcast. She is also a Master Practitioner of NLP, Hypnosis, Reiki, Mental and Emotional Release, a Certified Fearless Living Coach and Trainer, the author of How to Get Your Voice Back, and the Co-Founder of the FIRESTARTERS Project.

Turning 40 and Finding Peace Without Answers

At 16, Shā Sparks found herself at rock bottom—arrested for a DUI and facing the reality of a life shaped by addiction, abuse, and deep emotional wounds. But that moment of humiliation was also the spark that ignited her journey toward healing. In this episode, she shares her incredible story of resilience, the power of breaking cycles, and how she found real love—not just in others, but within herself.

Episode Highlights:

• The defining moment at 16 that changed the trajectory of Sha’s life.
• How childhood trauma shaped her early years and led to self-destructive habits.
• The pivotal decision to quit drinking at 25—and the surprising catalyst behind it.
• What kept her stuck in an abusive relationship for 12 years, and what finally set her free.
• How journaling and gratitude helped her regain control over her life.
• The profound realization that changed her understanding of love and relationships.
• Why she believes healing starts with the way we speak to ourselves.

Shā’s story reminds us that healing isn’t about understanding why bad things happened—it’s about learning to let go and move forward. If you’re struggling to break free from patterns that no longer serve you, this conversation may be the push you need to start rewriting your story.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and review The Big Four Oh Podcast! Your support helps us continue bringing you inspiring conversations like this one. 🎙✨

Guest Resources

Shā’s Gift To TBFO Listeners: Complimentary Release Your Addiction Meditation

Connect with Shā on Facebook

Connect with Shā on Instagram 

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend – A must-read for anyone struggling to set healthy limits in relationships.

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood – A book that sheds light on how childhood experiences influence our adult relationships.

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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Guest Bio

Marcy Langlois is a trauma survivor and chronic illness warrior, 20+ years into her sobriety journey. She shares tips and tools accumulated from a lifetime of work to help others live beyond their limits through her coaching practice, social media posts and some freebies on her website. Online classes are coming soon!

Turning 40 and Rewiring the Mind

In this episode, Stephanie sits down with Marcy Langlois to explore her story of survival, transformation, and healing. After a childhood marked by medical challenges, family instability, and a battle with addiction, she found sobriety—only to face a new and terrifying crisis in her mid-40s when her body began to shut down. Diagnosed with mast cell activation syndrome and histamine intolerance, Marcy was bedridden for 40 days, grappling with allergic reactions to everything in her environment—including her own thoughts. But through deep inner work, rewiring her brain, and healing her nervous system, she emerged healthier and stronger than ever.

Episode Highlights:

• A childhood shaped by medical challenges – Born with a cleft lip and palate, Marcy endured 20 surgeries between birth and age 18, and a difficult upbringing in a home affected by addiction and instability.
• The impact of unprocessed trauma – How childhood survival mechanisms carried into adulthood, leading to addiction and self-destructive patterns.
• The breaking point – At 45, Marcy’s body rebelled, leaving her unable to function and suffering from life-threatening reactions to food, stress, and even her own thoughts.
• Rewiring the brain for healing – Marcy shares how she used neuroplasticity and what she calls the "cancel method" to retrain her mind and shift her body's response to stress.
• The power of nervous system regulation – Understanding the difference between fight-flight-freeze and rest-digest-heal, and how true healing can’t happen until the body feels safe.
• Energy and frequency in healing – Why raising the body's energetic vibration was a crucial final step in Marcy’s recovery.
• Life after transformation – How Marcy is now thriving, free of chronic illness, and living with vitality and purpose.

Marcy’s story is a testament to the incredible resilience of the human body and spirit. Her journey from a lifetime of trauma and illness to vibrant health is inspiring proof that healing is possible, even when all seems lost. Tune in to hear how she transformed her life—and take away powerful lessons on the mind-body connection.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate, follow, and review the podcast—it helps us reach more listeners on their own journeys of transformation!

Guest Resources

Connect with Marcy on Facebook 

Connect with Marcy on Instagram 

Connect with Marcy on TikTok

Check out Marcy’s free consultation scheduling link 

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

Connect with Steph

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Reflections: Self Worth

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  

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Guest Bio

Would you choose chocolate over your eyesight? It’s a hard no, right? So, why was Emily Hall’s answer a ‘Yes’?

After losing the sight permanently in her left eye as a result of her binge eating (yes, chocolate came first) and several other significant events including surviving a suicide attempt, Emily decided that enough was enough and went on a quest for happiness and self-acceptance. Ditching the traditional ways of self-healing Emily began to realise that only she could change the self-sabotaging patterns that were holding her back.

Now an award-winning hypnotherapist and coach, Emily works with women around the world to help stop them binge eating, overeating and emotional eating just by changing how they think. She has unrivalled success in her field, getting her clients food freedom for good and loving themselves naked (!) in just a matter of weeks.

Emily has been featured on the BBC, GB News, The Sun, The Daily Mail, The Mirror, The Express, Yahoo and MSN to name a few, talking about this subject. Her aim is to eliminate the stigma of overeating, emotional eating and weight issues and help educate people that diets are not the answer, and that it’s not even about food.

Turning 40 and Unraveling Codependency

Emily Hall's 40th birthday wasn’t the celebration she imagined—it was a breaking point. Years of trauma, toxic relationships, and personal struggles finally brought her to tears. But instead of staying broken, Emily embarked on a journey of self-discovery, confronting her deepest fears and limiting beliefs. From near-death experiences and a crushing heartbreak to a triumphant reinvention, Emily now helps others heal from disordered eating and internal battles. Join us as she shares the raw and emotional story behind her incredible transformation.

Episode Highlights

• Emily's traumatic childhood led to years of self-destructive behavior.
• A toxic relationship and unmet life expectations triggered her 40th birthday breakdown.
• She endured near-death experiences, which shaped but didn't define her transformation.
• Codependency and low self-worth influenced many of her relationships.
• When her life imploded, Emily reached a crossroads with only three options—one of which saved her life.
• Her healing process included retraining her internal dialogue, engaging with forward-thinking coaches, and cutting out toxic influences.
• Emily has since built a successful business helping women overcome disordered eating by addressing deep-seated self-beliefs.

Emily’s story is a powerful reminder that life’s toughest challenges can be the catalyst for incredible growth. Through deep inner work and self-compassion, she has found peace, success, and a new purpose. If you’ve ever felt stuck in negative patterns, Emily’s experience might offer the insight and inspiration you need to move forward.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and review the podcast! It helps us reach more listeners on their paths of transformation.

Guest Resources

Join Emily’s Beat the Binge Online Course

Connect with Emily on Facebook

Connect with Emily on Instagram

Connect with Emily on TikTok

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. It’s one of the first signs of a midlife transition.  www.thebigfouroh/ick

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Guest Bio

Philip Blackett is an author, consultant and entrepreneur who previously has worked with FedEx, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America and Chick-Fil-A. He got his Masters of Divinity degree from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, his MBA from Harvard Business School and his Bachelor’s Degree majoring in Political Science and Economics from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Turning 40 and Weathering the Storms of Loss

In this episode, Philip Blackett joins Stephanie to share his journey through midlife transformation as he approaches his 40th birthday. With candor and vulnerability, Philip reflects on how his upbringing, faith, and personal losses have shaped his values and priorities. From grappling with the identity challenges of closing a business to finding strength in his faith and family, Philip's story is a reminder of the resilience and courage it takes to embrace life’s transitions.

Episode Highlights:

• The Power of Legacy: Philip's reflections on wanting to be a present and protective father and husband, drawing inspiration from his grandfather's example.
• Faith as a Lifelong Anchor: How losing loved ones led Philip to shift his sense of self-worth from external validation to a deep reliance on faith.
• Navigating Major Transitions: The emotional and practical challenges of closing a business during the pandemic and relocating his family to start anew.
• Embracing Vulnerability: How sharing failures and struggles can create deeper, more meaningful connections with others.
• Lessons in Resilience: Understanding that life’s detours, setbacks, and endings are part of a greater process leading to growth and renewal.
• The Middle Space: Stephanie and Philip discuss the "gray area" of transitions—navigating life between endings and new beginnings.
• Bravery in Connection: Why building trust and relationships requires courage and perseverance, even after setbacks.

Resources Mentioned:

• Books: Transitions by William Bridges

Today, Philip Blackett opens up about the highs and lows of navigating midlife. From the emotional toll of business closure to finding a renewed sense of purpose through his faith, Philip’s reflections are both grounding and inspiring. His story encourages listeners to embrace life’s transitions, lean on their inner strength, and focus on the legacy they want to leave behind. Whether you’re in the middle of your own “gray space” or simply seeking motivation, this episode is full of wisdom and hope.

Guest Resources

Connect with Philip on Facebook

Connect with Philip on Instagram 

Connect with Philip on TikTok 

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick

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This podcast is about transitions, and specifically the ones that we go through sometime around age 40, those internal shifts that we make, where we start to see and interact with the world differently. 

I will continue to bring you stories of transition, of transformation, of stepping into power and wisdom and purpose and fulfillment.  I will continue to discern the commonalities among these individual transitions.  I will continue to develop a framework for identifying when you've entered your transitional phase and how to make your way through it without making as much of a mess of it as I did.  And I will work to uncover the keys to doing just that. Welcome to The Big Four Oh. 

Guest Bio 

Stephanie McLaughlin is a marketer and podcaster who is captivated about the transition many of us go through around age 40. Stephanie celebrated her 40th birthday by having 40 drinks with 40 people in 40 different places. Each drink had some thematic connection to her friend or their relationship. What began as a ridiculous way to celebrate the milestone birthday ultimately revealed itself as a powerful, soul-searching journey that changed her life profoundly. This was the dawn of her interest in the shift so

Announcement: Forty Drinks is now The Big Four Oh

Guest Resources

The Big Four Oh website

The Big Four Oh on Instagram

The Big Four Oh on Facebook

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The Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Guest Bio

Marc Scheff is a visionary coach dedicated to guiding mid-life professionals on a profound inner journey. With his expertise, individuals break through barriers, transcending self-limiting beliefs to unlock the full spectrum of their capabilities. Marc's transformative coaching goes beyond the visual arts, resonating with a diverse array of creative minds, empowering them to architect their own narrative and flourish in their professional endeavors.

He has won awards for his painting, photography, and coaching and can be found at https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcscheff/

Turning 40 and Realizing I Am the Boss of Me

Marc Scheff joins Stephanie to share his midlife transformation, a journey that includes personal growth, family grounding, and unexpected turns like picking up Jiu-Jitsu at age 41. Marc’s story dives deep into the cyclical nature of life, the power of self-awareness, and the unexpected ways our paths reveal themselves when we’re open to change.

At 35, Marc noticed small shifts—hangovers with just one drink, a desire for deeper meaning, and growing roots in New York with his wife and child. By midlife, he faced challenges that forced him to reimagine his career, joy, and purpose. From running an arts retreat to coaching others through transformation, Marc’s journey highlights the importance of listening to intuition, trying new things, and honoring evolving dreams.

Highlights:

• Marc’s insight into life as a series of 7-year cycles of growth and change.
• The pivotal shift at 35: the emergence of roots, responsibility, and self-reflection.
• His journey from professional art to founding an arts retreat center—and how it unexpectedly fell apart.
• How Jiu-Jitsu at 41 taught Marc to leave his ego at the door and embrace starting as a beginner.
• The “formula for change”: dissatisfaction, vision, and small first steps.
• The realization that evolving dreams are just as valid as old ones.
• Marc’s transition to a career in coaching, helping others design and activate their next chapter.

Marc’s transformation demonstrates the power of midlife reflection. From his days as an artist to embracing coaching, Marc learned that evolving goals and dreams are not failures—they’re part of the journey. His story shows that midlife offers a chance to reorient, reflect, and reignite our purpose. Tune in for a conversation about resilience, self-discovery, and the courage to start anew, whether it’s a new hobby, career, or way of thinking.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and review the podcast to support us and hear more inspiring midlife transformations!

Guest Resources

Marc’s Unleash Creativity Club

Connect with Marc on Facebook 

Connect with Marc on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Gabby Gilliam is a writer, a teacher, and a mom. She lives in the DC metro area with her husband and son. She is a founding member of the Old Scratch Short Form Collective. Her first chapbook, No Ocean Spit Me Out, was released in June 2024 from Old Scratch Press. Her novella duology, Drumming for the Dead: Trouble in Tomsk and Drumming for the Dead: Chasing a Cure were released from Black Hare Press. Her poetry and fiction has appeared online and in multiple anthologies.

Turning 40 and Finding Purpose in Poetry After Loss

Gabby Gilliam talks about how she navigated a whirlwind of grief, including the loss of her father and several other loved ones in a short time, and rediscovering her identity through writing and teaching. Gabby’s story reminds us of the strength we can find amidst profound challenges. She opens up about her 40s arriving with unexpected hardships but also with clarity and purpose, reshaping how she approaches life, work, and joy.

Episode Highlights:

• Gabby's early 30s were shaped by frequent moves, career shifts, and adjusting to motherhood.
• The profound impact of losing her father and how it marked her 40th birthday.
• Coping with compounded losses in a short time, including family members and close friends.
• Writing as a lifeline: Gabby’s use of poetry and storytelling to process grief and find healing.
• How loss shifted Gabby’s perspective on rules, priorities, and the “shoulds” in life.
• Her commitment to focusing on joy and meaningful experiences over perfection.

In this candid conversation, Gabby reflects on the transformative period of her 30s and early 40s, shaped by loss, creativity, and resilience. Her story is a testament to the power of finding clarity through adversity, redefining personal priorities, and embracing joy amidst life's unpredictability. Gabby's journey is sure to inspire anyone navigating their own transitions and challenges.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and review the podcast to support more inspiring conversations like this one!

Guest Resources

Gabby’s Author Website

Connect with Gabby on Facebook

Connect with Gabby on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

We are Meredith & Craig. We left the 9-to-5 corporate grind right around our 40th birthdays, to become full time entrepreneurs...and had no idea what we were doing. We knew we were unhappy and unfulfilled in our corporate careers and that life is just too short for that. So we made a massive change, left our corporate careers without a plan. And promptly fell on our faces. We picked ourselves up, found our purpose and along the way created a rock solid marriage... that we believe is the cheat code for leveling up all areas of life. We love helping others get that part of their lives exactly where they’ve always wanted it, so they can go out and crush the rest of their lives too.

Turning 40 and Ejecting From the Default Life - Together

Meredith and Craig Bennett’s journey is one of transformation, courage, and deep connection. Facing a midlife turning point together, they left behind stable corporate careers, ventured into personal growth, and emerged as partners in life and business. Their story is about finding themselves, rebuilding their identities, and embracing vulnerability—all while strengthening their marriage.

Episode Highlights:

• Breaking free from the “default life”: Meredith and Craig shared how they challenged societal expectations, left secure corporate jobs, and explored paths more aligned with their values and dreams.
• Facing fears head-on: Both admitted to grappling with perfectionism, fear of failure, and external validation, but they worked to unlearn limiting beliefs.
• Reinvention through personal growth: A six-month journey of self-discovery led to insights about their identities, strengths, and life aspirations, helping them transition into marriage coaching.
• Navigating transitions as a team: They highlighted the power of shared growth, common language, and accountability in creating a strong, resilient partnership.
• Lessons in vulnerability and connection: From journaling practices to unlearning negative self-talk, they shared tools and insights that strengthened both their individual selves and their relationship.
• Becoming coaches: Inspired by their transformative journey and feedback from peers, they now help others build stronger relationships and navigate personal growth.
• Embracing their next big chapter: Writing a book and continuing their growth journey is their focus, showcasing the importance of lifelong learning and entrepreneurship.

Meredith and Craig Bennett share how midlife transitions reshaped their lives and marriage. Their journey reveals the power of self-discovery, the importance of shared growth, and the courage it takes to rewrite your story. From breaking free of societal norms to navigating challenges together, they model what’s possible when you trust your intuition and prioritize what truly matters. Meredith and Craig’s honesty and insights offer listeners valuable lessons for their own transformations.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and review the podcast. Your support helps us share more stories of midlife transformations!

Guest Resources

Craig & Meredith’s website, Road of Life Coaching

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Laurie-Ann Murabito, Speaking & Visibility Coach is a reformed painfully shy gal who works with motivated business owners to leverage speaking opportunities to get credibility, sell out their high-end programs and monetize their authority. She combines her years as an award winning professional speaker, executive leadership coach and having started three successful businesses from the ground up. Besides helping her clients get positioned as the expert in their industry and building a profitable business that aligns with their purpose; she’s the best selling author of Rethink Leadership and Rethink Your Leadership. A few of her clients are Johnson & Johnson, American Cancer Society, Baystate Wealth and Bali Mastermind by Sabrina Philipp. To learn more, visit her website at SpeakAndStandOut.com.

Turning 40 and Making it Through the Messy, Muddy Middle

Laurie-Ann Murabito shares her journey of love, loss, and reinvention in this episode. Once a healthcare professional, Laurie-Ann faced one of life’s greatest challenges when she became a widow at just 36. Her story doesn’t stop there—as she transformed her life into one filled with purpose and empowerment. From navigating grief to finding love again, and ultimately discovering her true calling as a speaking coach, Laurie-Ann reminds us that life’s toughest chapters can lead to its most fulfilling rewards.

Episode Highlights

• Laurie-Ann’s early career in healthcare and her realization that she wasn’t meant for a traditional corporate structure.
• The whirlwind romance with her first husband, Bob, and the profound lessons she learned during his illness and passing.
• How Laurie-Ann channeled optimism and resilience to guide herself and others through one of the hardest periods of her life.
• Her journey into the world of public speaking and the challenges of navigating this new career path.
• The moment a serendipitous text message changed her life, leading her to her true passion as a speaking coach for small business owners.
• Finding love again with her husband, Mike, and the lessons she learned about partnership and self-sufficiency.
• The metaphor of “going through the mud” and embracing life’s messiness as a path to greater self-discovery and fulfillment.

In this heartfelt conversation, Laurie-Ann Murabito opens up about the pivotal moments that shaped her midlife transformation. From navigating loss to discovering her voice and purpose, she shares wisdom on resilience, following life’s breadcrumbs, and learning to embrace the messy middle. Laurie-Ann’s story is a testament to the beauty of reinvention and finding fulfillment on the other side of life’s challenges.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and review the podcast—it helps others find the show and share in these transformative conversations!

Guest Resources

Free Resource for Forty Drinks Listeners: The Directory of Places to Speak

Connect with Laurie-Ann on Facebook

Connect with Laurie-Ann on Instagram

Find Laurie-Ann on YouTube

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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Guest Bio

Dr. Mort Orman, M.D. is an internal medicine physician and a 40-year anger elimination and stress elimination expert. He has written 23 books on how to eliminate anger and stress without using drugs, relaxation exercises or other traditional management techniques. He is creator of the 10-session Angry No More anger elimination program, the Anger Internal Causes Framework, and The Ultimate Anger Elimination System. Dr. Orman has led more than 100 anger and stress elimination workshops for doctors, nurses, lawyers, business owners, entrepreneurs, other professionals, the clergy, and even the F.B.I. He has also been the official sponsor of National Stress Awareness Month in the U.S. every April since 1992. His newest book is “Dr. Orman’s Life-Changing Anger Cure: Eliminate Unwanted Anger, Without Anger Management, So You Can Be Happier, Healthier, and Don’t End Up Alone.”

Turning 40 and Cracking the Code on Anger

In this episode, Dr. Mort Orman, a physician with over 50 years of experience, dives into the nuances of anger—how it forms, why it persists, and how we can finally let go of it. Dr. Mort shares his journey from being a hot-headed young adult who had difficulty in relationships to discovering how deeply ingrained habits and unchallenged beliefs fueled his anger. Through his midlife transformation, he unveils the three "filters" that distort our perceptions and lead us into anger, showing how uncovering and questioning these can profoundly change our lives.

Episode Highlights:

• Dr. Mort’s early struggles with anger and how it developed into a habitual response in his relationships and professional life.
• The transformative conversation with a college professor that shifted his career path and opened his mind to new possibilities.
• How anger negatively impacts health, relationships, and overall well-being.
• The three filters that create anger: (1) judging someone’s actions as “bad or wrong,” (2) feeling personally harmed, and (3) blaming the other party as solely responsible.
• The importance of recognizing that anger comes from within and is often based on distorted perceptions rather than external events.
• Dr. Mort’s unique “experiment” with marathon running to explore personal development principles and his eventual breakthroughs in overcoming anger and other limiting beliefs.
• Practical advice on how to cultivate patience and awareness to rewire our responses to anger triggers.

Dr. Mort Orman reveals his personal and professional journey in understanding and ultimately conquering anger. Through exploring internal triggers and debunking the common belief that external events are the sole cause of anger, he offers a clear path to lasting change. His practical and thought-provoking insights are a must-listen for anyone seeking to create healthier relationships and improve their mental well-being. Don’t forget to rate, follow, and review if you enjoyed the episode!

Guest Resources

Dr. Orman's Life-Changing Anger Cure on Amazon

Connect with Dr. Orman on Facebook

The Best Anger Elimination Method You Can Find

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Fran Caudron spent a 34 year career as a highly skilled, creative, and motivated master elementary educator in Northern Alberta, Canada; from which she recently retired and continues to work as an adult educator and healer through hypnotherapy.

She is humbled and fortunate to have had a wealth of collaborative opportunities working alongside Indigenous elders and community leaders. Open minded and responsive to the impact and influence of culture, experiences and family on student learners, she has a proven success rate at supporting and teaching diverse learners and Indigenous students. Her leadership is based on collegiality, creativity and awareness. 

With a strong background in teaching Indigenous students and diverse students from high risk environments, her pedagogy aligns with the holism of mind-body-spirit, and how students, parents and the community can teach educators, and together, heal the education system.

Fran experienced intense internal spiritual growth through surrendering to the 12 step program of recovery, and furthered her growth with a masters in Religious Education. She is a trained hypnotherapist and in her weekly vlog called “Hopenning” she interviews authors and healers who promote hope and inner spirit healing.

Today, Fran thrives by creating an attitude and environment of gratitude, resilience, and forgiveness. She teaches pre-service teachers from Indigenous and other backgrounds through the University of Alberta on-line and next September, in-person and she continues to promote recovery through her work with the 12 steps and by healing the inner child.

Turning Forty and 12-Stepping My Way to Happiness

Fran Caudron joins Stephanie to share her story of resilience and transformation after leaving a controlling marriage marred by addiction and betrayal. Raised in a traditional Catholic family and influenced by evangelical beliefs, Fran initially felt trapped in a life that didn’t align with her true self. Her story unfolds as she learns to break free from deeply ingrained beliefs, rebuild her identity, and find healing through a weeklong retreat, spiritual exploration, and the strength of community. This episode dives deep into themes of accountability, self-love, and the power of somatic experiences in processing buried emotions.

Episode Highlights:

• Roots of Restriction: Fran’s upbringing in a strict Catholic family and subsequent involvement in evangelical Christianity added layers of control and suppression, especially around the roles of women and the stigma of divorce.
• Marriage as a “Fix”: In her early twenties, Fran believed marriage and children could “fix” existing relationship issues, a notion that only led to deeper despair.
• The Breaking Point: At 38, Fran’s discovery of her husband’s infidelity was the final push she needed to seek a new life for herself and her daughters.
• Healing Through Retreat: A transformative retreat on Vancouver Island introduced Fran to somatic healing, where she learned to process and release her pent-up anger and pain, finding solidarity with others who shared similar emotional struggles.
• Building a New Life: With the support of a 12-step program, Fran redefined her values and set boundaries that allowed her to grow spiritually and emotionally, despite her husband’s attempts to regain control.
• Integrating Spirituality: Fran found solace in her Catholic roots while exploring a broader, more personal spirituality that didn’t rely solely on religious dogma, adopting a "take what resonates, leave the rest" approach to her faith.
• Puzzle Pieces of Self: Fran shares how life’s lessons and experiences are pieces of a puzzle, each adding depth to the picture of our best selves, a theme that resonates with the mission of the Forty Drinks Podcast.

Today's episode with Fran is a powerful exploration of how personal crises can lead to profound growth and transformation. Fran’s journey went from a life of restrictive beliefs and a toxic marriage to self-liberation and spiritual growth. Through somatic experiences, supportive communities, and a redefined relationship with her faith, Fran reclaims her life. Her continued commitment to her faith, while also embracing new methods of healing, offers a unique perspective on navigating life's toughest challenges. 

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, follow, and review "The Forty Drinks Podcast"!

Guest Resources

Fran’s Hypnotherapy Website 

Fran’s podcast, the Hopenning 

Find Fran on Instagram 

Find Fran on Facebook 

Name/Title: Fran Caudron - Inspired Healing Hypnotherapy

URL: https://inhealtherapy.com/

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Guest Bio 

Anjel B Hartwell is an internationally known author, artist & evolutionary alchemist. Honored as a Be The Change “Movement To Watch” Award Winner and one of America’s Premier Experts, she’s appeared multiple times in major media. Creator, Executive Producer & Host of 13X Award Winning & Apple #1 Internationally ranked Wickedly Smart Women Podcast and Top 50 Internationally ranked Leading Visionaries Podcast, author of Be Heard By Millions & Live Your Destiny a #1 New Release in 3 Categories, she's hired to consult with high achieving visionary leaders who are called to be the Vanguard of the Creative Age.

Turning 40 and Awakening to Hidden Gifts

Welcome to another inspiring episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, where Stephanie sits down with Anjel B. Hartwell, who shares her incredible journey through a midlife transformation that began with a spiritual awakening and led her to leave a successful real estate career to cultivate her intuitive gifts. Diving deep into the challenges and revelations that reshaped Anjel’s midlife, you will hear the profound effect of embracing change and following your inner voice, no matter how outlandish it may seem.

 Episode Highlights:

• Anjel discusses her tumultuous childhood and early career in real estate, setting the stage for her dramatic life changes.
• The pivotal moments that led to her spiritual awakening, including personal crises and a transformative yoga practice.
• Anjel's experiences with seeing visions and her decision to embrace these new spiritual insights rather than fear them.
• The impact of her awakening on her personal and professional life, including leaving her real estate career and marriages ("wasbands").
• Insights into how Anjel navigated fears and societal expectations to pursue a life aligned with her newfound gifts.
• The creation of her art gallery and healing center, and how these ventures served as stepping stones in her journey.
• Anjel's venture into podcasting with "Wickedly Smart Women" and "Leading Visionaries," and her innovative approach to integrating her life's work with her spiritual mission.

 In this episode, Anjel B. Hartwell teaches us what it means to listen deeply to our inner voice and the courage it takes to follow it, even when it leads away from conventional success towards uncharted territories of personal fulfillment and service. 

If Anjel's journey resonates with you, don't forget to rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like this one to you!

Guest Resources

Anjel’s free gift for Forty Drinks Listeners: : 8 Days of Prosperity Activation Series

Wickedly Smart Women Podcast

Leading Visionaries Podcast

Connect with Anjel on Facebook 

Connect with Anjel on Instagram

Work with Anjel 

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Guest Bio 

Marina Theron-Monnery, is a RTT practitioner, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Coach guiding people to overcome the pains of childhood trauma, abuse, poverty, weight issues, cancer and many more. Her professional expertise through years and many clients is complemented and enhanced by her personal experience with many forms of the same pain, abuse and disease, and overcoming them.

Using Rapid Transformational Therapy and coaching, Marina has a tremendously positive energy and an approach with all her clients of “if I could do it, so can you”. She feels called to do this work and thrives on helping people live their full potential every day. With the gift of intuition, Marina helps people see who they want to be, and then she guides them to rehearse that role, until it feels natural.

After a life that felt to her as if she was living in a bubble of perpetual failure and not being worthy and good enough, Marina battled with depression and the burning desire to find out why she is here, living this life. Slowly life unraveled and when she hit rock bottom after a cancer diagnosis, the right teachers showed up in her life. Through training from Natalie Ledwell to Mary Morrissey and finally Marisa Peer, Marina found her purpose. Today Marina truly knows success. In love, business, singing, parenting and life. She is in love with life and it radiates to her clients.

As an author, speaker and podcast host, Marina’s mess became her message. She lives in gratitude today, as everything she had to overcome, also makes her relatable to a variety of clients. She is a living example of the success of the work she does.

Marina believes that every person has the potential to live the life of their dreams. She knows first hand that our mind dictates to our body, and if we can harness our thoughts, we can change our reality. The best part is that she does not just say that, she lives it.

Turning 40 and Breaking Free from Childhood Narratives

In this episode of the Forty Drinks podcast, Stephanie is joined by Marina Theron-Monnery, a woman with a powerful story of resilience and transformation. Growing up in apartheid-era South Africa, Marina faced challenges early on, including a difficult family dynamic. She moved to Canada, started over as a single mother, and navigated the heartbreak of difficult relationships in addition to poverty and depression. But it wasn’t until she reached her 40s, after a particularly abusive relationship, that she had a life-changing “aha” moment—realizing that she had never learned to love herself. This realization set her on a path of self-discovery, which eventually led her to finding the kind of love she had always wanted.

Episode Highlights:

• Marina’s early life in South Africa: Growing up in a strict religious household during apartheid shaped her sense of justice and personal struggles.
• Moving to Canada: At 32, Marina left her home country, bringing her two young children to a new life, but soon faced divorce, poverty, and depression.
• Career transformation: From being an opera singer in South Africa to starting over with no work experience in Canada, Marina rebuilt her career and found strength as a single mother.
• Love and loss: Her tumultuous romantic life included the sudden death of a partner and later escaping an abusive relationship in her early 40s.
• The turning point: A profound moment of clarity came when Marina realized she hadn’t been standing up for herself like she did for her children, leading to her journey of self-love.
• Two years of self-discovery: Marina isolated herself from dating and focused on understanding and appreciating who she really was, which led her to the loving relationship she enjoys today.
• Finding true love: Marina ultimately found her “movie-like” marriage after doing the inner work necessary to love herself first.

In this episode, Marina’s story highlights the importance of self-love, resilience, and the journey to finding peace and fulfillment in midlife. Her transformation from a life of hardship to one of love and contentment is an inspiring reminder that it’s never too late to rewrite your story. If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks podcast!

Guest Resources

Marina’s website

Connect with Marina on Facebook

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

The Difference Between a Midlife Crisis and The Ick

In the season six opener, Stephanie dives deep into the midlife transition, or the "Ick" as she affectionately calls it. She shares insights from her own journey and the collective wisdom of over a hundred interviews, aiming to help listeners navigate this transformative period with grace and understanding. She illuminates how to know whether what you’re feeling is an isolated issue or part of the larger midlife transition. She leaves listeners with three takeaways about this period of transition. Whether you're approaching 40, just past it, or curious about this significant life phase, this episode offers valuable perspectives on embracing change and finding fulfillment.

Episode Highlights:

• Understanding the Ick: Stephanie defines the "Ick" as a subtle, often vague feeling of discomfort that signals a misalignment in one’s life, typically occurring around midlife.
• Themes from Interviews: The episode outlines seven major themes from past guest interviews, including self-discovery, purpose, personal growth, relationships, health, career changes, and intuition.
• How to diagnose whether what you’re feeling is an isolated issue or part of the larger transition at midlife.  
• Three takeaways for listeners facing their own Ick: This midlife transition is a normal and natural phase of life. These transitions can be triggered by significant life events or realizations. Midlife is an opportunity for growth, reinvention, and creating a more authentic and fulfilling life. 

Stephanie unpacks the complexities of the midlife transition, offering a beacon of understanding and support for anyone experiencing the "Ick." Through engaging stories she provides a roadmap for personal growth and fulfillment during this pivotal life stage. 

Remember, if you found value in this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone navigating their own midlife journey. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and continue producing impactful content.

01:07 Understanding the Midlife Ick

01:29 Defining the Ick

04:40 Common Themes of the Midlife Ick

04:56 Self Discovery and Authenticity

06:08 Purpose and Meaning

07:03 Personal Growth and Self Discovery

08:45 Impact on Relationships

09:50 Health and Well-being

10:18 Lifestyle Changes for Wellbeing

10:49 Career Changes in Midlife

11:40 Trusting Your Intuition

13:14 Identifying Midlife Transition Signs

16:47 Navigating Midlife Transitions

18:16 Embracing Midlife Opportunities

18:47 Conclusion and Next Steps

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

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Guest Bio 

Karen McMahon is a High Conflict Divorce Strategist, Certified Divorce Coach and Founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. She began divorce coaching in 2010 after recognizing that the pain of her divorce led her on a transformational journey into a powerful and unexpected new life. Karen leads a national team of divorce coaches in supporting men and women around the world to become calm, clear and confident as they navigate divorce. Karen is the host of the acclaimed Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, and co-author of ‘Stepping out of Chaos: Turning Pain to Possibility” and creator of JBD’s exclusive Divorce 101: Strategic Blueprint for High Conflict Divorce Program.

Turning 40 and Surviving a High-Conflict Divorce

In this episode, Stephanie sits down with Karen McMahon, a divorce coach who transformed her high-conflict divorce experience into a beacon of hope for others navigating similar challenges. Karen shares her journey from a high achieving professional with a troubled personal life to finding her true calling helping others through their darkest times. Her story is not just about overcoming, but about using her past to fuel a future filled with purpose and service.

 Key Highlights:

• Early Struggles and Realizations: Karen discusses her early success in her professional life contrasted with repeated failures in intimate relationships, stemming from the challenging dynamics in her family of origin.
• Marriage and Its Challenges: She opens up about her marriage, which seemed promising at first but was riddled with financial troubles and emotional disconnect thanks to a spouse on the narcissism spectrum, leading to her realization of needing change.
• Therapy and Self Discovery: Karen's turning point came through therapy, where she began to understand the source and depth of her issues and started the hard work of healing and self improvement.
• Divorce and Its Aftermath: The process of her divorce was long and fraught with conflict, but it was also a period of intense personal growth and transformation.
• Building a New Life: Post-divorce, Karen found her calling as a divorce coach, helping others navigate their paths through and beyond divorce.

Karen’s journey through personal turmoil and professional success is a wonderful example of making lemonade with lemons. Her story is not just one of survival, but of thriving by turning her deepest pain into a profound purpose. This episode is a must listen for anyone facing personal challenges or interested in how personal adversity can lead to a fulfilling and impactful career.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Karen’s to you!

Guest Resources

Karen’s gracious offer for Forty Drinks Listeners

Reclaim Your Mind: Evict Your Spouse from Your Mental Space

Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast

5 Day Boundary Bootcamp 

Divorce 101

Connect with Karen on Facebook 

Connect with Karen on TikTok

Free Consultation with a Divorce Coach

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

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Guest Bio 

Dhruv Sethi: Midlife has profoundly reshaped me. After my turbulent first marriage, I approach London's dating scene with newfound understanding and resilience. Previously swayed by Redpill ideologies, a pivotal breakup transformed my outlook. Now, I cherish and celebrate feminine energy.

My spirituality has deepened too. Viewing life as a battleground between good and evil, I'm driven to share insights through my podcast, "Midlife Masculine." Through it all, I've learned to value love, understanding, and empathy more than ever. Let's journey together through life's twists and turns, liberated from the ordinary.

Turning 40 and Overcoming Cultural Expectations

In this enlightening episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, host Stephanie sits down with Dhruv Sethi, the voice behind the Midlife Masculine Podcast. Dhruv shares his transformative journey through the trials of a tumultuous marriage and messy divorce, the personal growth and self-discovery that reshaped his approach to life and how it changed his relationships in his forties. From the bustling streets of London, Dhruv delves into the cultural pressures and expectations of his early life, the pivotal moments that led to his midlife awakening, and how he's using his experiences to guide other men through similar transitions.

Key Highlights:

• Dhruv's early life transition from India to Sweden and eventually to London, highlighting the cultural and personal shifts that shaped his early decisions.
• The breakdown of his first marriage and the profound impact it had on his views towards women, relationships and personal growth.
• Dhruv's journey into self-awareness, which began with meditation and expanded into a broader exploration of spirituality and personal development.
• The creation of the Midlife Masculine Podcast, a platform for men navigating midlife transitions, emphasizing growth, understanding, and community.
• Dhruv's insights on the importance of listening, the power of meditation, and embracing a non-judgmental approach towards oneself and others.
• His current outlook on relationships and his hopes for the future, including his desire to form a family grounded in the lessons he has learned.

Dhruv Sethi’s journey through cultural expectations, personal upheavals, and profound self-discovery highlights the universal themes of resilience and renewal. Dhruv's commitment to helping others navigate their midlife challenges through his podcast adds a layer of community and support that enriches his message. This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing their own transitions or interested in the deeper shifts that often come with midlife.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Dhruv's to light.

Guest Resources

Connect with Dhruv on Instagram

Midlife Masculine Podcast

"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

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Guest Bio 

Yvonne Marchese is the host of the Late Bloomer Living Podcast, and author of In Full Bloom: A Guide to Aging Playfully. She is a roller skating, paddle boarding “Age Agitator” who believes that midlife is filled with possibility, that it’s never too late to pursue a dream and that the stories we tell ourselves have tremendous power in our lives. She is on a mission to help people rethink and redefine what’s possible as we age. She is also the President of the Age Agitators Club for women.

Turning Forty and Rediscovering JOY Through Play

Today, Stephanie sits down with Yvonne Marchese, a vibrant storyteller who shares her journey through the tumultuous waves of midlife. Yvonne pursued a stage career in the theater in New York City for many years, but around age 35 she realized it just wasn't as much fun anymore. Her journey to find another fulfilling career, and her path to motherhood, took her from her mid-30s into her 40s. By the time she was in her mid-40s, she was a frazzled mom, at least a little depressed, and working to get a small business off the ground. But changing just one thing – strangely, getting up an hour earlier each day – shifted many other things in her life for the better.  Her compelling narrative navigates through identity crises, career changes, and the quest for personal fulfillment.

Episode Highlights:

• Yvonne's early dreams of acting and how a childhood trip to New York set the stage for her future.
• The challenges of maintaining a marriage with differing lifestyles and the eventual pursuit of her true passion in New York.
• The pivotal moment of realizing her marriage was a misstep and her brave decision to move to New York to chase her acting dreams.
• Transitioning from acting to photography as Yvonne sought a more stable and fulfilling lifestyle while starting a family.
• The profound impact of hitting the "snooze button" on life and how a simple change in morning routine catalyzed a significant transformation in her personal and professional life.
• Yvonne's venture into podcasting, driven by a desire to share stories and inspire others navigating midlife transitions.

Yvonne illustrates the unpredictable yet rewarding journey of reinvention that many of us encounter around our 40s. Her story is not just about changing careers but also about rediscovering oneself and finding joy in new beginnings. Whether it's acting, photography, or podcasting, Yvonne embraces each phase of her life with enthusiasm and learns to prioritize her happiness and wellbeing. This episode is a powerful reminder that midlife is not a crisis but an opportunity for growth and new adventures.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us grow and continue bringing inspiring stories like Yvonne's to light!

Guest Resources

Late Bloomer Living

Yvonne Marchese Photography 

Yvonne’s book: In Full Bloom: A Guide to Aging Playfully

Special Offer for Forty Drinks Listeners: 5 Steps to your Midlife Reboot

Connect with Yvonne on LinkedIn

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Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

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Guest Bio

Lauren Schenck is a Holistic Wellness Coach, Yoga Teacher, Crystal Healer, Sound Healer, and Meditation enthusiast. She believes in a holistic approach to life and health and strives to help others find their ideal balance for mind, body, and spirit. After her divorce in 2014 and with 2 small children to raise on her own, she turned to crystals, nutrition, yoga, and mindfulness practices to not only rebuild her life but also rebuild herself into the whole, happy, and healthy woman, mom, NEW WIFE, and teacher that she is today. Nothing makes her happier than helping others do the same.

Turning 40 and Burning It All to the Ground

In this episode, Stephanie sits down with Lauren Schenck, who transformed her life after leaving a toxic and abusive marriage. Lauren shares her journey of reclaiming her identity, her struggles as a solo parent, and the steps she took towards personal healing and empowerment. This episode is a profound exploration of resilience, self-love, and the power of making bold life choices.

Episode Highlights

• Leaving a Toxic Relationship: Lauren discusses the pivotal moment she decided to leave her narcissistic and abusive ex-husband, taking her two young children with her.
• Solo Parenting Challenges: She opens up about the difficulties and triumphs of being a solo parent, moving across the country, and starting anew.
• Healing and Self-Discovery: Lauren shares how therapy, yoga, and nutrition played crucial roles in her healing process and helped her rediscover her passions.
• Finding Love Again: The heartwarming story of how Lauren met her current husband, Justin, and how they built a healthy relationship together.
• Empowerment through Education: Lauren talks about going back to school for nutrition and yoga teacher training, emphasizing the importance of personal growth and self-care.
• The Power of Self-Love: A deep dive into how learning to love herself changed Lauren's life and relationships for the better.

Today's episode is a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit and the transformative power of self-love and determination. Lauren's story is not just about escaping a harmful situation but about thriving beyond it, creating a fulfilling life for herself and her children, and finding true love. Her journey reminds us that it's never too late to change your life's path and that healing is possible with the right tools and support.

If you found inspiration in Lauren's story, please consider rating, following, and reviewing our podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more empowering stories like this to you!

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Connect with Lauren on Facebook 

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Visit Lauren's website for wellness, nutrition, yoga and more.

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Shana Francesca is a speaker and consultant. Her work centers around the fact that we become infinitely more impactful as leaders when we understand our organization as an ecosystem we are meant to foster as a bubble of life.

Turning 40 and Getting Healthy after Being Raised in a Cult

In this deeply moving episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with Shana Francesca, a survivor of an evangelical Christian cult, who shares her harrowing journey from a controlled and abusive childhood to finding her voice and establishing her values in midlife. Shana's story is not just about survival; it's a testament to the power of self-discovery, the importance of nurturing one's intuition, and the transformative impact of defining personal and professional values. Join us as Shana opens up about the challenges she faced and how they shaped her into the advocate for ethical leadership and community she is today.

Key Highlights:

• Surviving a Cult: Shana discusses her upbringing in an abusive household within a cult, highlighting the lack of personal freedom and the severe consequences of curiosity.
• Early Signs of Resistance: From as young as three, Shana exhibited signs of resistance, including running away from home, signaling her deep-rooted awareness of the dangers in her environment.
• Journey to Self-Trust: Shana shares her path to trusting her intuition, which was crucial in her escape and subsequent independence from the cult at the age of 26.
• Redefining Faith and Identity: A significant part of Shana's transformation involved reevaluating her religious beliefs and ultimately stepping away from organized religion to embrace a more personal and inclusive spirituality.
• Establishing Core Values: Shana talks about the importance of defining clear personal and business values, which guide her current work as a consultant focusing on ethical leadership and community building.
• Empowerment through Language: The power of language in shaping and expressing one's identity and values is a central theme, as Shana emphasizes how articulating her values has empowered her and others.

Today's episode with Shana not only explores the depths of overcoming a controlled and abusive upbringing but also celebrates the heights one can reach through self-awareness, resilience, and ethical leadership. Shana's journey is a powerful reminder of the strength found in reclaiming one's story and the importance of community in personal and professional realms. Her insights into the significance of nurturing intuition and establishing clear values offer valuable lessons for anyone navigating their own midlife transformations.

If you found inspiration in Shana's story and our discussion, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more compelling stories and transformative insights to light.

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Connect with Shana on Facebook

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Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Rita Bliven suffered from a debilitating avoidant attachment style or disorder due to an international parental kidnapping. Much of her adult life has been spent learning about attachment theory, the different attachment styles, the traumas that cause attachment issues, and attachment healing. Rita chronicles her healing journey in her upcoming book, Canyons & Fireworks. In sharing her story, Rita hopes to inspire others to explore their own attachment styles so that true identity, purpose, and intimacy can flourish.

Turning 40 and Healing From Parental Kidnapping as a Baby

In this episode, Stephanie sits down with Rita Bilven, a woman who navigates the complexities of attachment issues stemming from a tumultuous childhood. By the time she was three, Rita had been kidnapped twice by her parents. The first time, her father abducted her and brought her to Mexico. Two years later, her mother lured her father back to California, kidnapped Rita back and moved cross country. Rita shares her journey of healing and self-discovery, which led her to reconnect with her estranged father and embrace her Mexican heritage. Her story is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of understanding and addressing one's past.

Episode Highlights:

• Early Childhood Trauma: Rita discusses her early experiences of being kidnapped by her father and the subsequent legal and emotional battles that shaped her childhood. 
• Attachment Theory: Rita explains how attachment theory played a crucial role in understanding her struggles with relationships and self-identity. 
• Reconnecting with Her Roots: The emotional recount of Rita's journey to reconnect with her father and her Mexican family, which brought significant healing and understanding. 
• Personal and Spiritual Growth: Insights into how personal development and spirituality have guided Rita through her healing process. 
• Marriage and Family Life: Rita opens up about meeting her husband later in life and how they've built a strong, loving relationship, including the importance of connection and attachment in parenting her stepdaughter.
• Writing as Healing: Rita shares how writing helped her process her experiences and aided her healing journey.

Rita's story is a reminder of the importance of confronting our past to shape a happier, healthier future and the enduring strength of love. Her experiences with attachment issues, cultural identity, and personal growth are interwoven with practical insights into overcoming adversity. Whether you're dealing with similar issues or just looking for an inspiring story of transformation, this episode offers valuable lessons on resilience, love, and healing.

If you enjoyed this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, please be sure to rate, follow, and review. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Rita's to light!

Guest Resources

Connect with Rita on Facebook 

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Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Adrian Walker writes a twice-weekly column, focusing on politics and local news. A native of Miami, he joined the Globe in 1989 as a general assignment reporter, after three years at the Miami News. Walker was a member of the Globe Spotlight Team that was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize for local reporting in 2018 for the series “Boston. Race. Image.Reality.” He is a frequent  commentator on political and social justice issues - including the Netflix documentary “Trial 4” - and was the host of the Globe’s award-winning nine-part podcast “Murder in Boston” on the Stuart murder case. He was the Globe’s City Hall bureau chief, State House reporter and deputy political editor before becoming a Metro columnist in 1998. He was named an Associate Editor of the Globe in 2021.

From Fenway to Forever: Celebrating 30 Years of Friendship

Episode 100: A Journey Through the Decades: Friendship and Transformation with Adrian Walker

In this milestone 100th episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with her long-time friend and esteemed journalist, Adrian Walker. They dive deep into their shared past, exploring the pivotal moments that have defined their friendship since 1991. Adrian opens up about his transformative journey through his 40s, discussing his career highlights, personal growth, and the profound impact of sobriety on his life.

Episode Highlights:

• Memorable Meeting: Adrian and Stephanie reminisce about their first encounter at Fenway Park in 1991, marking the beginning of a decades-long friendship.
• Career Milestones: Adrian shares his experiences of landing his dream job at 36 and the significant projects he has worked on, including a Pulitzer Prize-nominated series on racism in Boston.
• Sobriety and Self-Discovery: Adrian discusses his decision to become sober and how it has reshaped his perspective and lifestyle.
• Podcasting Venture: Adrian talks about his role as the host of the successful podcast "Murder in Boston," detailing the challenges and rewards of this new medium.
• Reflections on Aging and Friendship: Both Stephanie and Adrian reflect on the nature of aging, the impact of milestone birthdays, and the reasons their friendship has endured over three decades.

Today’s episode is a heartfelt reflection on friendship, change, and the milestones that come with aging. Stephanie and Adrian’s conversation provides an intimate look at the dynamics of a long-lasting friendship and the personal transformations that often accompany life’s second act. Their stories remind us of the importance of connection, resilience, and embracing change at any stage of life.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us grow and continue bringing you engaging content each week!

Guest Resources

Connect with Adrian on X

Read Adrian’s column in The Boston Globe

Murder in Boston podcast on Apple

Murder in Boston podcast on Spotify

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Since 2000, Dr. Julie Hutsell-Starling, DACM, L.Ac has been discovering, studying, and experiencing the mind/body connection and multiple energetic modalities that allow you to tap into your body’s innate sense of balance, health, and well-being.

Her personal journey started when she was just 27 and diagnosed with chronic pain. While healing herself, she discovered acupuncture and Chinese Medicine, which she found helpful with the pain and more importantly, helped her get to the root cause of the pain, which has kept it from returning all these years. 

Importantly, her career has also been her greatest teacher. She struggled with burnout off and on for years in private acupuncture practice no matter how much self-care she did, and it wasn’t until she understood the real root cause of the burnout, that the symptoms finally went away and have stayed away. 

Dr. Julie loves to guide her clients to get to the root cause of their challenges. When you address the root cause instead of chasing the symptoms, that is how you find true healing, and how you re-find the creativity, joy, inspiration, ease, and flow in your work, your relationships, and in your life. 

Dr. Julie teaches her clients self-healing techniques they can use daily or anytime they need, because she is passionate about putting the power and control back in their hands, and guiding them to connect with their intuition and inner knowing that has been there all along to reclaim their highest healing.

Dr. Julie is a Doctor of Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine, a Certified Health Coach, a Soul Realignment Akashic Records Practitioner, and a Kundalini Yoga Teacher. She has been working with patients/clients since 2005 and has worked with thousands of patients and coaching clients in private practice. 

Dr. Julie lives in Beaufort, NC on the beautiful Crystal Coast, with her husband and three kitties.

Turning 40 and Going on 50 First Dates

In this week’s episode, Stephanie sits down with Julie Hutsell-Starling, who learned to love herself  and then redefined her romantic life and career in midlife. Julie shares her raw and touching story of growing up with an alcoholic mother, battling through toxic relationships, and ultimately finding her true self and love. Her journey is not just about overcoming, but about thriving and rediscovering her passion in a way that aligns with her true self.

Episode Highlights

• Julie discusses her challenging childhood with an alcoholic and abusive mother, which shaped her early years and self-perception.
• She opens up about her journey through toxic relationships, including a pivotal moment that led her to end a particularly damaging relationship.
• Julie's transformative experience in Italy as a foreign exchange student that opened her eyes to different ways of living and loving.
• Julie's inspiring story of meeting her husband, how online dating played a role, and the intuitive moment she knew she had found her true companion.
• The significant impact of a career in acupuncture, how burnout led her to reevaluate her life, and the eventual shift towards a practice that aligns more closely with her soul’s purpose.
• The evolution of her professional life, from a traditional acupuncture practice to a more holistic and fulfilling approach that incorporates Kundalini yoga and energy work.

In this episode, Julie shares her powerful narrative of personal growth, self-love, and professional fulfillment. Her story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the beauty of finding one's path at midlife. Julie's journey from a tumultuous childhood and challenging relationships to finding true love and reshaping her career is not only inspiring but also a reminder of the possibilities that await when we listen to our inner voice and honor our true selves.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Julie's to you!

Guest Resources

Connect with Julie on Facebook 

Connect with Julie on Instagram  

Connect with Julie on TikTok

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Jordan Elizabeth Braxton is a drag performer, advocate for HIV prevention and sexual health, Director of Diversity and Inclusion for Pride St. Louis, LGBTQ+ Advisory Committee Chairwoman for the City of St. Louis, activist, volunteer, transgender advocate and pageant queen.

Pod Swap with Family Twist

Summary

Jordan shares her journey of transitioning and coming out as transgender. She discusses how she always knew she was a girl and the challenges she faced growing up in a religious African-American family. Jordan talks about her medical discovery of being intersex and going through hormone replacement therapy. She also shares her experience of coming out to her family, who were accepting and supportive. Jordan highlights the importance of sharing her story to educate others about the transgender experience and dispel misconceptions. Corey Stulce and Jordan discuss her career as a drag queen, her activism in the LGBTQ+ community, and her experiences with gender affirmation surgery. Corey talks about her early days as a drag queen, where she entertained audiences with her quick wit and ability to read people. She also discusses her involvement in activism, particularly during the HIV epidemic, and her advocacy for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. Jordan shares her experiences competing in trans pageants and her excitement for the Miss America film division. She also reflects on her gender affirmation surgery and the happiness it has brought her. The conversation concludes with a discussion about their time working together on a production of Steel Magnolias and the joy they found in the theater community.

Highlights of the episode:

• Transitioning is a personal journey that involves coming out socially, medically, and professionally.
• Acceptance and support from family and friends can make a significant difference in a transgender person's experience.
• Misconceptions and misinformation about transgender individuals and gender-affirming care are prevalent and harmful.
• Drag queens have played a significant role in the LGBTQ+ community, providing support and paving the way for LGBTQ+ rights.
• Sharing personal stories and experiences can help educate others and promote understanding and acceptance. Jordan's career as a drag queen was built on her quick wit and ability to entertain audiences with her reading skills.
• She has been an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, particularly during the HIV epidemic, and has been involved in activism to raise awareness and fight for the rights of the community.
• Jordan is excited to compete in trans pageants and the Miss America film division, as it allows her to showcase her activism and positive representation of trans women.
• Her gender affirmation surgery has brought her immense happiness, and she encourages others to never take no for an answer and to pursue their dreams.
• Working together on a production of Steel Magnolias was a memorable and joyful experience for Corey and Jordan, highlighting the importance of community and the theater arts.

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Erik DaRosa, known by friends as “Yoda,” is the Founder and CEO of From Survivor to Thriver, a mental health advocate, speaker, author and Co-host of the popular From Survivor to Thriver podcast. Through his work and his own lived experience, Erik is upending the front-end of the mental health space and building a bridge between those who seek resources and those who provide both help and hope. Each week on his podcast, he tackles different mental health topics through honest and relatable "kitchen table" conversations with real people who are helping to shatter mental health stigmas and find their voices. He aims to normalize discussions around mental health topics and remind his audience they are not alone, there is strength in community and "it's perfectly ok to not always be ok."

In 2011, Erik traded in a successful career as a NYC finance executive when he moved to Colorado with his wife and two cats. Erik spent twelve winters as a ski instructor for the Aspen Skiing Company before retiring in the Spring of 2023.

Born and raised in New England, Erik earned his MBA from the NYU Stern School of Business and his BA in Economics from Brandeis University. He lives in Colorado with his wife Amy and two cats, Lincoln and Taylor.

Turning 40 and Changing the Things that Muck with Your Mental Health

This week, Stephanie sits down with Erik DaRosa, a former Wall Street banker who found solace and a new beginning in the snowy mountains of Colorado. Erik shares his compelling story of battling severe anxiety and OCD from a young age, and how a midlife pivot at 40 led him to a transformative journey in skiing and mental health advocacy. Join us as Erik opens up about the challenges he faced, the revelations in therapy, and how skiing became not just a hobby but a lifeline.

Highlights of the Episode:

• Erik’s early struggles with severe anxiety and OCD, and how these challenges were masked during his youth and early professional life.
• The pivotal moment at age 33 when a dissociative episode during a drive forced Erik to seek help and begin confronting his mental health issues.
• How a therapist’s unusual suggestion to try skiing led Erik to discover a passion that was transformative, both mentally and physically.
• Erik’s transition from a high-pressure finance career in New York to becoming a ski instructor in Snowmass, Colorado, embracing a healthier lifestyle and community.
• The launch of Erik’s mental health podcast, "From Survivor to Thriver," and his upcoming program, U-MOST (Unlocking Minds on Snow Together), which combines skiing with mental health healing practices.

Today’s episode is a profound look at how midlife can be a turning point for profound personal transformation. Erik’s journey from the trading floors of Wall Street to the ski slopes of Colorado is not just about changing careers; it’s about discovering and embracing a new way of life that prioritizes mental health, passion, and community. His upcoming U-MOST program is set to offer others the therapeutic benefits of skiing, showing that it’s never too late to find your true calling and heal.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Erik’s to light!

Guest Resources

Connect with Erik on Instagram 

Changing the Face of Mental Health - From Survivor to Thriver

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Guest Bio 

After waking up to a panic attack on his 42nd birthday broke, unemployed, and soon to be divorced, Jeff Glauser finally figured out a system to unstick himself. The former journalist, professor, and sales manager committed to a series of simple daily habits that changed his entire trajectory. Now the founder of Brandscribed, he helps other high performers change their brand narrative and create the next chapter of their lives.

Turning 40 and Embracing the Bare Minimum

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with Jeff Glauser, who navigated through a profound midlife transformation. From battling the depths of career dissatisfaction and personal turmoil, including a challenging marriage and financial woes, Jeff shares his journey of rediscovery and how he reshaped his life into one of fulfillment and success. His story is not just about overcoming, but about the strategic and mindful steps he took to rebuild his life from the ground up.

Episode Highlights:

• Jeff discusses his early career aspirations and the repeated setbacks that led to a loss of confidence and the onset of imposter syndrome.
• He shares the pivotal moment on his 42nd birthday that acted as a wake-up call, leading him to develop a set of daily habits that fundamentally changed his life.
• Jeff talks about the end of his marriage and how hitting rock bottom was both a challenge and a catalyst for change.
• The transformational power of simple daily habits that helped Jeff regain control of his life, including meditation, exercise, gratitude and managing finances.
• Jeff’s journey to finding love again, where a simple first date after his separation turned into a life-changing relationship.
• His career shift into leveraging his storytelling skills to help others in their professional branding, inspired by his own experiences and challenges.

Jeff’s story is a testament to the fact that it’s never too late to change your life and find fulfillment. His methodical approach to establishing daily habits that foster personal and professional growth is not only inspiring but also actionable for anyone feeling stuck in their own life. This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing midlife challenges or seeking to reinvent themselves. It’s a reminder that with the right mindset and tools, transformation is within reach.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more inspiring stories like Jeff’s to listeners who are navigating their own midlife transformations.

Guest Resources

Jeff’s Offer for Forty Drinks Listeners: Become An Expert Brand Master Class

Connect with Jeff on Facebook

Building a StoryBrand, by Donald Miller

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Gregory has 30+ years’ experience as a gay men’s leadership coach, solo theater artist, stage & TV actor, and singer. Gregory teaches solo-theater artists how to get out of their head so they can openly create from the heart.

Turning 40, Conquering Cancer and Planting Roots

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie McLaughlin sits down with Gregory Halpen, who shares his transformative midlife journey from a tumultuous youth and early adulthood marked by instability, trauma, and an ungrounded lifestyle. Gregory talks about the internal conflicts he faced, battling imposter syndrome and past traumas, and how these issues hindered his professional and personal growth. He also recounts a life-altering battle with Hodgkin's lymphoma at age 46, which spurred a dramatic shift in his perspective and lifestyle.

From battling substance misuse and anxiety to overcoming a cancer diagnosis, Gregory’s narrative is a compelling tale of resilience, renewal, and the power of staying true to one’s passions despite life’s upheavals. He takes us from his time as a tumbleweed to a grounded performer. 

Episode Highlights:

Early Struggles: Gregory discusses his challenging upbringing in a family grappling with addiction and how it shaped his early years.

New York, New York: The allure of NYC and how it played a pivotal role in both the challenges and opportunities in his life, including his repeated moves to and from the city.

Facing Cancer: Gregory opens up about his diagnosis of Hodgkin's lymphoma at 46, describing it as a major turning point that pushed him to truly confront his life’s direction.

Artistic Pursuits: Insights into Gregory’s evolving career in theater and music, highlighting his current projects and how he channels his experiences into his creative work.

Personal Growth: How therapy and personal development have helped him navigate through anxiety, build healthier relationships, and foster a more grounded existence.

Gregory's story is a testament to resilience, illustrating how therapy, self-discovery, and a grounded approach led to personal and professional fulfillment. It is a vivid reminder that personal rebirth is possible, and sometimes, the most profound growth happens when we find ourselves rooted in our true passions. This episode offers insights and inspiration for those facing their own midlife transitions and seeking a path to a more intentional, grounded life.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating, following, and reviewing the podcast. Your feedback not only helps us grow but also inspires us to bring more inspiring stories like Gregory’s to you. 

Guest Resources

Connect with Gregory on Facebook 

Connect with Gregory on Instagram 

Connect with Gregory on TikTok

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

As a Global Ambassador for Life Transformational Empowerment and Human Awareness, Laura’s skill set, gathered wisdom, and personal discipline to advance human potential is evident in her creative work. The care, consideration, and genuine thoughtfulness of supporting and exploring an empowered life with both personal and professional individuals, is an impactful and life-advancing experience for her clients, attendees, and listeners around the globe. Co-Creating with individuals who are willing to grow past their present Mindset, repeated negative patterns, and outdated habits, are in for a 360 view on how to create and sustain happiness and well-being.

Laura is a sought- after Coaching expert in the field of Neuro-Energy. A self-aware environment that allows us to move into the “Power Seat of Choice.” This awareness positions us into the realm of Empowerment, and here is where unlimited potential gains accountability to enact change. You will discover how we choose to think about thought, and the energetic frequency attached to that thought, sets up the way we experience life. 

The J3=E Formula activates your ability and potential to dissolve past challenges, and to Reframe your mindset, becoming skilled at hacking doubt, and in partnership with expanding creativity. There are empowering and inspirational thought leaders around the world consistently interviewing Laura for magazine articles, Podcasts, speaking engagements and creative collaboration.

If you are willing to advance your present condition, state of mind, biology/cellular well-being, and your spiritual starting point, Laura’s revolutionary book, The Science of Empowerment, based on Mindset advancement, will fundamentally change everything. Do not stay connected to the past and unnecessary ways of moving through your days. We are here to evolve in every way possible! Do not let this life pass through you with your potential un-awakened.  

Do not glance at the Power…Become the Power…

Turning 40 and Waking From the Fairy Tale

In this heartwarming episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with Laura Ballet, who shares her poignant journey through the complexities of love, self-discovery, and personal evolution that unfolded in her 30s and 40s. After spending a decade with a man 11 years her junior, Laura felt a calling from within that this relationship wasn’t enough for her. She clearly remembers the day she saw him and thought, “I now realize that you are here to teach me what it is I don’t want.” This led to a leap of faith and a period of time where she focused on her relationship with herself. Ultimately, she found that everything she dreamed of was on the other side of that decision. Laura's story is a testament to the power of listening to one’s inner voice and the beautiful possibilities that arise when we dare to follow it.

Highlights:

Laura's early life and the impact of her family’s generational patterns on her personal growth.

Her transformative relationship in her 30s with a younger man, which while fulfilling on many levels, ultimately taught her more about what she didn't want than what she did.

The pivotal moments of self-realization and the decision to prioritize her own happiness and growth, leading to the end of her long-term relationship.

Laura’s period of self-discovery where she focused on personal passions and self-love, setting the stage for attracting a more aligned partnership.

The serendipitous meeting with her now-husband, a French restaurateur, and how their relationship blossomed into a deep, meaningful connection.

Laura's role as a stepmother and the emotional decisions surrounding family and motherhood.

Laura’s story is a powerful reminder of the beauty and strength found in choosing oneself and the magic that unfolds when we align with our true desires. Her story is not just about the relationships with the men in her life but also her relationship with herself, which she nurtured and honored through periods of significant change. This episode is a must-listen for anyone standing at the crossroads of a major life decision, offering both inspiration and courage to choose the path that truly feels right. Don't forget to rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks Podcast if you enjoyed this episode and found Laura's story as uplifting as we did. 

Guest Resources

Get Laura’s Book: The Science of Empowerment 

Connect with Laura on Facebook

Connect with Laura on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

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Guest Bio 

What do you get when you combine a teacher, a comedian and a COO? Either the start of a really bad joke or an attentive, knowledgeable, detail-oriented, and entertaining real estate agent. In this case, we’ve got the latter. Lauren Herskovic, founding member of Moda Group at Compass specializes in helping first time homebuyers find their place in Chicago.

Lauren grew up in suburban Detroit and now lives in Chicago. She got a BA in English and Secondary Education from the University of Michigan (Go Blue!). She then served as Editor in Chief for an online women’s magazine in NYC before working as COO for a consulting company based in Chicago, taking the company from a 3-person operation to a team of 100+ with offices in the US and China. If you think that sounds like something that would burn someone out, you'd be right! So, burnt to a crisp in the latter half of her 30's, Lauren decided to follow her heart and make the leap into Real Estate. And she hasn't looked back since. In her free time (which is limited these days, with this active market!) she eats her way through Chicago, binge-watches Bravo with her Toy Poodle, Harvey, and takes an obscene amount of pictures of said food and said poodle.

Turning 40 and Kicking the Soul Sucking Job to the Curb

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie McLaughlin sits down with Lauren Herskovic, who navigated through significant life changes before her 40th birthday. Lauren shares her journey from grappling with self-doubt rooted in childhood to transforming into a confident real estate agent and finding love in a healthy relationship. Lauren paints a vivid picture of the ups and downs of personal growth, the importance of vulnerability, and the ongoing quest for self-acceptance.

Her story is a testament to the power of self-discovery and resilience through the midlife transition, offering listeners a candid look into the personal and professional growth that can occur during this pivotal time.

Episode Highlights:

Career Shifts: Lauren discusses her transition from feeling undervalued as a Chief Operating Officer in a startup to thriving as a real estate agent where she built her brand around her authentic self.

Self-Discovery: She reflects on her struggles with body image and how overcoming these helped her gain confidence in her personal and professional life.

Relationship Evolution: Lauren opens up about her past relationships and how meeting her current partner at the right time in her life made a significant difference.

Setting Boundaries: Learn how Lauren learned to prioritize her needs and set boundaries, especially concerning her time and personal space.

The Impact of Therapy: Lauren credits therapy with helping her understand herself better, which was crucial in her journey towards self-acceptance and improvement.

Family Dynamics and Personal Growth:She discusses the influence of her family's communication style on her personality and how external perspectives helped her gain insight into herself.

With a blend of vulnerability and humor, Lauren's journey through her midlife transition illustrates the challenges and triumphs of redefining oneself in adulthood. Her experiences with career changes, relationship dynamics, and personal growth underscore the universal quest for happiness and fulfillment that resonates with many in their forties. If you found this episode enlightening and inspiring, don't forget to rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks Podcast. Your feedback helps us bring more stories like Lauren's to light! 

Guest Resources

Connect with Lauren on Instagram 

Connect with Lauren on TikTok 

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

Ginny Priem is a keynote speaker, #1 bestselling author, host of the popular podcast "Drinking With Gin" and a life coach at the mastery level.

Turning 40 and Ditching the Lying, Cheating Narcissist

Motivated, successful and career-focused in her mid-thirties, Ginny Priem's life took a dramatic turn when she fell for “Chad” and his two children. Despite her initial reluctance, she embraced the relationship until a shocking revelation from a friend brought her world crashing down. This betrayal forced Ginny to confront not only the immediate pain but also deeper issues stemming from her past, including dealing with a narcissistic family background. 

Ginny's discovery of Chad's betrayal leads to a painful but empowering journey toward self-discovery, healing, and eventually using her experience to help others as a life coach, author, and motivational speaker. Throughout the interview, Ginny emphasizes learning from one's intuition, the importance of self-love, and reclaiming one's life from narcissistic abuse.

Through her story, Ginny delves into the complexities of narcissistic relationships, the importance of listening to our intuition, and the transformative power of facing the truth. 

Key Takeaways:

1. Self-Discovery is Key: Ginny's journey underscores the importance of self-discovery in healing. Understanding your past and how it influences your present can be a powerful catalyst for growth.
2. Letting Go of Toxicity: Sometimes, you gotta Marie Kondo your relationships. Letting go of toxic connections creates space for healthier, more fulfilling ones to thrive.
3. Embracing Your Purpose: Ginny found her purpose in helping others navigate tough times. Embracing your story and using it to uplift others can be incredibly empowering.
4. Meditation for the Win: Who knew a meditation retreat could be so life-changing? Sometimes, all it takes is a little mindfulness to shift your perspective and set you on a path to healing.
5. Turning Pain into Power: Ginny's journey shows that pain can be a powerful fuel for transformation. Instead of letting it break you, use it to propel yourself forward and create a life you love.

Guest Resources

Sign up for Ginny’s Free Newsletter

Ginny’s books: 

You're My Favorite 

I'm My Favorite

Connect with Ginny on Facebook 

Connect with Ginny on Instagram 

Connect with Ginny on TikTok

YouTube 

www.ginnypriem.com 

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

Sara Letourneau is a poet, book editor, and writing coach who lives in Massachusetts. She's the founder and managing editor at Heart of the Story Editorial & Coaching Services, where she works with fiction and nonfiction writers as well as poets to help them develop the skills, knowledge, and confidence they need so they can finish their manuscripts, polish them for publication, and stay focused and motivated as they reach for their writing goals and embrace their creativity. Her debut poetry collection, Wild Gardens, will be published by Kelsay Books in late summer 2024; and her award-winning poetry has been published widely in literary journals, magazines, and anthologies online and in print. Apart from work and writing, Sara believes in caring for one's mental health, practicing gratitude, doing what makes you happy, and taking responsibility for your actions and reactions and no one else's. You can visit her online and read more of her work at her website (heartofthestoryeditorial.com) or on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

Turning 40 and Peeling Back the Layers of the Onion

This week, Stephanie delves deep into Sara Letourneau’s journey as she navigates through multiple personal and professional transformations approaching her 40th birthday. Facing the 'Icks' of life, including career shifts, personal growth, and family dynamics, Sara shares her path to discovering and embracing her true self, overcoming challenges through a consistent gratitude practice, spirituality, and resilience. From embarking on a spiritual awakening and embracing a poetry career to understanding complex family relationships and redefining personal milestones, Sara's story offers insights into the universal quest for fulfillment and happiness.

Guest Resources

Connect with Sara on Facebook

Connect with Sara on Instagram 

Heart of the Story Website

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

David Hankins is the award-winning author of Death and the Taxman and writes from the thriving cornfields of Iowa where he lives with his wife, daughter, and two dragons disguised as cats. David joined the US Army after college and, through some glitch in the bureaucracy, convinced Uncle Sam to fund his wanderlust for twenty years. He has lived in and traveled through much of Europe, central Asia, and the United States. Now that he’s retired from the Army, David devotes his time to his passions of writing, traveling, and finding new ways to pay his mortgage. You can find him at https://davidhankins.com

Turning 40 and Leaving the Bureaucracy for Science Fiction

In this episode, David Hankins shares his journey from serving in the Army for 20 years, through his transition back to civilian life, to becoming a published author. He talks about his military career, starting with his initial intention to join the military police, leading to his eventual role in logistics and ammunition management. David touches upon his travels, including deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq, and his life-changing decision to retire after 20 years of service. David discusses the challenges and uncertainties he faced while transitioning to civilian life, including his pursuit of a writing career. Inspired by storytelling sessions with his daughter, David began writing short stories, leading to winning the Writers of the Future contest. He also shares insights into his writing process, motivations, and his upcoming self-published novel 'Death and the Taxman'. Throughout the episode, David emphasizes the importance that networking, planning, and maintaining a positive outlook had during his midlife transition.

Guest Resources

Order Death and the Taxman here!

Connect with David on Facebook

Connect with David on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick?

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Guest Bio 

For Allison Doss, what started as the life of a party girl in her 20s, ended as a drug addicted alcoholic prostitute at the age of 40. God‘s gift of desperation came in the form of another drug addict, who jumped her and cut her face and instilled fear that she knew existed. She began the journey to recovery at 40. She met a man, fell in love and got married. And just when she thought that she had created a life that was predictable and stable, her husband confessed to her that he thought he may be transgender. Nothing rocked Allison to her core like the love of her life not meeting the expectations for the marriage she had planned for them. Her story is that of transformation of surrender and self discovery. She found freedom in letting go of control of others and allowing them to walk their own path without her interference.

Turning 40 and Going from the Streets to Safety to Shock and Awe

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie talks to Allison Doss, who moved from a farm in Louisiana to Washington DC when she was 17. She was recruited to be a stripper,  which she thought was quite glamorous and made her a lot of money. That career introduced her to a party lifestyle and she eventually evolved into a high-priced escort, flying around the world on private jets. But the party didn’t last forever. She didn’t realize that she had slipped into addiction and, by the time she was 35, she was homeless, into heavy drugs, and prostituting herself to pay for them. Nobody knew where she was and she didn’t want to be found. 

Allison is honest about the turning points in her life, including losing custody of her children, living on the streets, and a violent encounter that eventually led her to seek recovery at the age of 40. When she entered recovery she met her “new drug of choice” - a man she would pursue vigorously and who would ultimately become her husband. 

She reflects on the process of making amends, reconnecting with her children, and the challenges she faced when her husband came out as transgender. This revelation sent Allison into a relapse, which she would blame on her husband. Recovery and healing led her to a deeper understanding of herself and the concept of control. This is the story of how she found her way back and healed her relationships, most importantly the ones with herself and her children and the lessons learned about life, expectations, and the release of control.

“I thought there was something wrong with me,” Allison said. “So I went on this journey to dissect the fabric of my own cloth to discover what's wrong with me.  And, of course, there was nothing wrong with me.”

Guest Resources

Connect with Allison on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Guest Bio 

College media instructor Karl W. Beckstrand is the best-selling author/illustrator of twenty-seven multicultural/multilingual books (60 e-books—reviews by Publisher’s Weekly, Kirkus, The Horn Book, and School Library Journal). Raised in San Jose, California, he has lived abroad, earned a B.A. in journalism, an M.A. in international relations and conflict resolution, and a broadcast & film certificate. His western novel, To Swallow the Earth, won a 2016 International Book Award. Beckstrand loves volleyball and singing (in rock bands or choirs). His Y.A. stories, e-book mysteries, immigrant biographies, self-help, Spanish/bilingual books, and STEM books feature diverse characters—and usually end with a twist. See: Amazon, Apple/iBooks, Baker & Taylor, Barnes & Noble, Follett, Ingram, Walmart, Target, and PremioBooks.com

Turning 40 and Embracing Intimacy Over Sex

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, host Stephanie McLaughlin talks to Karl Beckstrand, who reflects on his early experiences with hypersexuality and his attempts to suppress his attraction to men. He discusses the negative impact this had on his relationships and his decision to become a recluse for 10 years. Karl eventually realized that he needs emotional connection rather than sexual encounters to fulfill his needs. He opens up about his deep and lasting friendships with men, which he describes as "bromances." Karl challenges some of the societal norms in the gay community and emphasizes the importance of meeting emotional needs in relationships. This episode offers a unique perspective on relationships and personal growth in midlife.

Highlights:

• Karl shares his early exposure to sex by a male peer and how it led him to act hypersexually along with his attempts to suppress his attraction to men.
• He discusses the negative impact of his out-of-control behavior on his relationships and his decision to become a recluse for 10 years.
• Karl realizes that he needs emotional connection rather than sexual encounters to fulfill his needs.
• He opens up about his deep and lasting friendships with men, which he describes as "bromances."
• Karl challenges societal norms and emphasizes the importance of meeting emotional needs in relationships.

If you enjoyed this episode, I’d be honored if you would rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks Podcast.

Guest Resources

Connect with Karl on Facebook 

Connect with Karl on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Guest Bio 

Joe Scales grew up in Kansas and Oklahoma. He has two kids, 30 and 27 and was married to his high school sweetheart for 25 years. They eventually ended up getting divorced and he took a year to work on himself before he started dating again. He’s been remarried now for almost two years. Joe has worked in marketing and advertising for his entire career, including stints in Print, Radio, and Television. Today, he owns a poker media company that merges two of his favorite past times, marketing and poker. He publishes a weekly podcast and a monthly magazine that are dedicated to the everyday poker player. Both can be found at www.anteupmagazine.com.

Turning 40 and Saying Yes for a Year

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie talks to Joe Scales, who reflects on his early marriage and parenthood, the pressure he felt to make ends meet and how he started questioning his own happiness as he approached 40.  Joe began to rethink his life choices; he had a burgeoning feeling of wanting to make a bigger impact in the world. At the suggestion of a friend, Joe committed to saying yes to new experiences for a full year. He discovered a passion for acting and found a new sense of fulfillment in giving back to others. Joe also talks about how important it was that he found a partner who allowed him to be himself and supported his personal growth.

Highlights:

• Joe reflects on getting married and starting a family very young and the pressure he felt to make ends meet.
• As he approached 40, Joe wondered why he wasn’t happier. He also felt a burgeoning desire to make a bigger impact in the world.
• Inspired by a friend, Joe said yes to new experiences and opportunities for an entire year.
• Joe discovered a passion for acting and found fulfillment in giving back to others through charity work.
• He emphasizes the importance of self-care and self-reflection in finding happiness and purpose in midlife.
• Joe discusses the significance of finding a partner who supports personal growth and encourages positive change.

Joe's story highlights the power of changing perspectives in finding happiness and purpose in midlife.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks Podcast.

Guest Resources

Find Joe on Facebook

Find Joe on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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Guest Bio 

From desert combat zones to a battle within, John Lawyer transformed from soldier to spiritual seeker. He acts as one of several guides for Kishar, a non-profit online spiritual community. This community is a place for people to share their journeys and explore their own unique spiritual path. John is an omnist and believes in the validity of most spiritual and religious beliefs around the world. He offers individual spiritual guidance and coaching services as part of the Kishar Spiritual Community.

Turning 40 and Transitioning From Warrior to Civilian

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie talks to John Lawyer, a military veteran who experienced a profound midlife transition. John talks about his journey from serving in combat zones for more than a decade to coming home and feeling stuck and disconnected. He discusses the challenges of reintegrating into civilian life and the toll that war took on his mental health. John also talks about his spiritual awakening and the importance of letting go and being open to the Universe. A middle-of-the-night moment of clarity when he was 40 helped him understand his purpose for the next phase of his life. He shares his passion for helping others on their own spiritual paths and discusses the nonprofit spiritual community he co-founded called Kishar. 

If you enjoyed this episode, I’d be honored if you would rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks Podcast.

Guest Resources

Find John on Facebook 

Find John on Instagram

John’s offer for Forty Drinks listeners: Join the Kishar Online Spiritual Community OR get one-on-one Spiritual Guidance / Coaching

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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Transition vs. Change: Navigating the Midlife Transition

Stephanie McLaughlin kicks off season five of the Forty Drinks Podcast by exploring the concept of transition versus change, inspired by the best-selling book by William Bridges, PhD, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes.  

The way William Bridges presents the two concepts, they are not the same thing at all. These two words are not interchangeable. A change, he says, is situational and external. It could be starting or leaving a job or relationship, having a baby, moving to a new place, the death of a parent, getting married or divorced, starting or buying a business, leaving the military, changing career, your kid going off to college. All these are CHANGES. 

A transition is psychological and internal. It is the reorientation or redefinition of the self that you go through in order to incorporate these changes into your life. Unless this transition happens, he says, change doesn’t work. 

Further, transition, as Bridges presents it, is a three stage process. First, there is an ending. Then there is a neutral zone. Then, there is a new beginning. He describes the subject of the book as: “the difficult process of letting go of an old situation, of suffering the confusing nowhere of inbetweenness, and of launching forth again in a new situation.”

These concepts, and more from the book, will provide a framework for the midlife transition that we’ll go back to throughout the season.

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Guest Bio 

Stephanie Rose empowers women to remember their magic through knowing themselves better and live a life that lights them up through mindset shifts, easy to try tips and giving themselves the permission they only think they need to change their lives. She shares ways to find the time to do more of what you love and reframe the way you live your life on her blog at FireflyScout.com and on Instagram and LinkedIn @FireflyScout.

Turning 40 and Rewriting My Story

Stephanie Rose is a woman on a mission to help others know themselves better, believe in themselves, and take aligned action towards living a life that lights them up. In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie shares her journey of self-discovery and transformation in her 30s and 40s. She checked off a lot of the “adult boxes” in a very short period: mariage, house, babies, death of a parent, starting a business. Then she realized she really didn’t know who she was anymore. 

From moving around as a child to finding her footing in Michigan, Stephanie reflects on the impact of her experiences and the importance of finding her true self. She discusses the significance of embracing her quirks and celebrating her own uniqueness. Stephanie also talks about the decision to leave her corporate job and pursue her passion for helping others, and how she navigates the challenges and fears that come with following her purpose. Tune in to this inspiring episode to learn how Stephanie has embraced her optimism and is empowering others to live their best lives.

Highlights from the episode:

• Stephanie's experience of moving around as a child and the impact it had on her sense of self.
• The power of journaling and morning pages in uncovering thoughts and feelings.
• Embracing quirks and celebrating uniqueness as part of self-discovery.
• The decision to leave a corporate job and pursue a passion for helping others.
• Navigating challenges and fears while following one's purpose.

If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to rate, follow, and review the Forty Drinks Podcast to stay up to date with future episodes.

Guest Resources

 "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron

Find Stephanie on Facebook

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Find Stephanie on LInkedIn

For Forty Drinks Listeners: Get Stephanie’s Firefly Scout Journaling Guide

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

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The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications

Guest Bio 

An airline pilot, military veteran, transformational trainer and mentor, and Clear Conscious Channel, Vince Kramer brings a unique experience to the world of transformation and purpose-driven growth. His past experience in a stereotypically “macho” field brings a more integrated perspective to the softer field of personal growth not often seen. 

As a speaker, teacher, guide and best-selling author of “Awakening Through Moments of Choice” with his wife and business partner Mary, Vince’s distinct combination of experience, education and research helps him develop powerful talks, workshops and online training in finding happiness and success by living life by their design.

A co-founder of Imagine Miracles, he passionately believes everyone is unique and the creator of their own life. It is his desire to inspire and empower men, women, organizations and families to find success and happiness by designing and creating a life fueled by their desires.

Turning 40 and Touched by an Angel

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, Stephanie sits down with Vince Kramer, a former airline pilot who ignored three major wake up calls in his 40s, before the Universe - or whatever you prefer to call it - finally got his attention. Vince shares his powerful midlife transformation journey, which began with a wake-up call on September 11th, 2001. He recounts how this event, along with personal experiences, led him to question his life's purpose and seek a different path. Vince discusses how he discovered his true purpose and the importance of living life on our own terms. He also delves into the connection between science and spirituality and how they can work together to help individuals find their purpose. Throughout the conversation, Vince emphasizes the importance of listening to the calling within and being open to new possibilities. 

Episode highlights: 

• Vince's first wake-up call came on September 11th, 2001, when he narrowly missed piloting the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania. The event made Vince realize he wanted to live his life differently and pursue happiness while still achieving his goals.
• Vince initially fell back into his old habits and focused on financial security, but eventually realized he was missing something more meaningful.
• Vince's second wake-up call came when he experienced a major financial setback due to United Airlines declaring bankruptcy.
• Vince's third wake-up call came when his marriage ended and he realized he needed to find what was missing in his life.
• Vince's fourth wake-up call - this time a positive one! - came when he met his current wife, Mary, who introduced him to spirituality and helped him discover his purpose.
• Vince started receiving messages and guidance at night, which led him to channeling and a deeper understanding of purpose.
• Vince emphasizes the importance of being open to new possibilities and listening to the calling within to find one's purpose.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider sharing it with a friend, or rating the podcast on your podcast listening app. 

Guest Resources

Vince is offering 10 FREE Breakthrough Sessions to Forty Drinks listeners. Book yours here. 

Vince and Mary’s book, Awakenings Through Moments of Choice

Vince and Mary’s podcast, The Miracle You

Find Vince on LinkedIn

Find Vince on Facebook 

Find Vince on Instagram

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick

Listen, Rate & Subscribe

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Guest Bio 

Susie Castellanos Hansley, Ph.D. is a speaker, workshop leader, and Master Certified Life Coach who helps high achievers reduce stress and achieve more success. She does this through one-on-one coaching as well as through speaking and workshop engagements for businesses, organizations, universities, and other groups.

As a high achiever herself - she’s a first-generation Mexican American, first in her family to go to college, earned an Ivy League Ph.D., and was a tenure-track professor - Susie had the drive, curiosity, and intelligence to be successful. But her anxiety, unresolved trauma, and imposter syndrome caused her to push herself too hard – and she burned out.

This experience led her on a quest: to help herself and other high achievers NEVER be undermined by stress again. When Susie learned about recent developments in NEUROSCIENCE and nervous system regulation, she had a EUREKA moment: “My stress, overwhelm, and imposter syndrome aren’t signs something is ‘wrong’ with me - I just hadn't learned HOW to work WITH my nervous system!”

Now that Susie knows how to REGULATE her nervous system and DE-STRESS, she helps other high achievers do the same - so they can achieve their goals while feeling GREAT doing it.

Susie’s clients go from anxious and stressed to confident, certain, and calm – which allows them to stop wasting emotional energy and become more productive, accomplished, and fulfilled in their work, relationships, and lives. 

Turning 40 and Healing First Generation Wounds

In this episode of the Forty Drinks Podcast, host Stephanie McLaughlin talks to Susie Castellanos Hansley, a first-generation Mexican American who was raised by her grandmother from the age of two, along with her siblings and cousins, after her mother died. Susie didn’t understand how her childhood trauma was affecting her personally and professionally until the Covid lockdown. She was using the Clubhouse app to connect with other people and entered a room on anxiety that blew her mind. She asked, “Is it possible for you to have anxiety and not know you have anxiety?” She found out it was. That led her to uncover the trauma of growing up in poverty with an abuela who had her own unhealed traumas. Susie shares her journey of navigating various career paths, dealing with trauma and anxiety, and finding her passion in coaching. She discusses the importance of understanding the nervous system and how trauma can impact our lives. Susie also emphasizes the power of having a compassionate witness and finding your “pack” of supportive individuals. 

Highlights from the episode:

• Susie's journey of academic achievement and trying many different careers, plus her feelings of failure that led to a 15-year midlife slump.
• Confusing her value as a person with her ability to make money. 
• The realization that she had trauma and anxiety and the importance of finding a compassionate witness.
• Discovering the power of the nervous system in healing trauma and understanding triggers.
• The role of shame in suppressing emotions and the importance of un-shaming ourselves.
• Finding your “pack” of supportive individuals who can be compassionate witnesses.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend, or consider rating the Forty Drinks Podcast.

Guest Resources

Find Susie on Facebook 

Find Susie on Instagram

Find Susie on LinkedIn 

Susie’s Gift to Forty Drinks Listeners: Which High Achiever Archetype Are You? (Personality Quiz)

The Stress Less Coach

Topics Mentioned in our Conversation

Forty Drinks episode with Mitch Webb, or Episode 73 on the podcast platforms

Information on the Human Givens School

What are Human Givens?

Human Givens therapy approach

Susie’s former trauma therapist - Colleen Sodano

Irene Lyon - nervous system healing

Irene Lyon - resources

Do you have the Midlife Ick? 

Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.fortydrinks.com/ick  

Listen, Rate & Subscribe

Apple Podcasts 

Spotify

Amazon Podcasts

Google Podcasts

Sponsor

The Forty Drinks Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications