A quadriplegic cornhole player shoots his friend, Sweden wants to make sex a sport, men are staying virgins longer than ever… and we ask: did we completely ruin coaching by going soft?

Nothing is off-limits. If you’ve ever thought, “there’s no way that’s real,” this episode proves you wrong.

Sports, chaos, and airport drip violations… we covered it all.

Grab a drink and jump in.

Sports, geopolitics, education, chaos… pretty standard episode.

Minnesota is making headlines for what people are calling “ice fishing” — and no, it has nothing to do with frozen lakes.

NBA All-Star Game keeps feeling less like an event and more like something nobody really wants to play.

The Epstein files continue surfacing more names, and every release creates more questions than answers.

And somehow Michael Jordan is now building serious momentum in NASCAR, because apparently dominating one sport wasn’t enough.

Smart takes, uncomfortable laughs, and the kind of conversations most people are already having privately

Sports are supposed to be fun. They are. They’re also insane.

Sports, fatherhood, and comedy proving once again that time changes context, not behavior.

We close by asking our AI what it would do if it were human for a day, and somehow that becomes the most honest part of the episode and forced us to reflect.

Funny, raw and emotional, but always, Carbon Footprint.

Memories were made. Emotional damage was sustained.

Then we break down a Halloween Horror Nights trip that was scary for all the wrong reasons, talk honestly about men’s mental health and the rising suicide rates, and on that topic, Jake Paul vs. Anthony Joshua. We even get into making a will — because based on this week’s topics, we probably should.

A perfectly uplifting episode… for us, anyway.

And to top it all off, Zohran Momdani pulls off an election win, proving that New York voters will choose chaos every time.

It’s politics, theme parks, mortality, and democracy — all blended into one morally questionable smoothie.

• People are furious about companies donating to build the new White House ballroom — swearing they’ll boycott them, right before ordering from corporations doing way worse.
• Women are “dating down” on purpose — uglier guys are apparently trending because you can't get cheated on if he looks like a foot.
• And public school kids took a field trip to a private school — basically a guided tour of what life looks like if your parents made better choices.

• The NBA’s illegal gambling bust — because apparently the refs aren’t the only ones fixing games.
• Serena’s husband vs. Stephen A. Smith — finally, someone tells ESPN’s loudest employee to shut up.
• The “No Kings” protest — where everyone’s mad, but no one’s sure why.
• Mark Sanchez’s situation — let’s just say karma’s got a good sense of humor.
• And we talk about men loving more authentically

• Our blind loyalty to sports teams
• How much would it take to sleep with ____? Everyone’s got a number, and half of you are out here giving Groupon prices.
• A teen mistaken for a squirrel — a tragic reminder that natural selection’s still putting in overtime.
• And Home Depot offering trade certifications — noble move, or just a quiet way to replace the workers already standing in the parking lot?

Dark humor, bad takes, and questionable morals — you already know what it is.

• A school employee loses it — proof that background checks aren't enough.
• Charlie Kirk’s widow gets dragged online — because the internet never misses a chance to kick someone mid-grief.
• A UFO takes a missile to the face and keeps flying — so, yeah… any day now...
• A judge and a public defender throw hands in court — LFG.
• And Sean gets his flowers.

Dark humor, bad takes, and zero filters — just the way you like it.

• The Saudis are buying EA — because nothing says “wholesome gaming” like funding your killstreaks with oil money and human rights violations.
• Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl — finally, a halftime show where half the crowd gets pregnant and the other half gets deported.
• And a Red Lobster waitress snapped and started throwing biscuits at customers — proving carbs aren’t the only thing deadly on the menu.

• Bad Bunny’s Amazon stream —less concert, more mass pregnancy event. Nine months from now, maternity wards are gonna look like a merch line.
• Tylenol “causes autism” — which means the Amish either broke the system… or never stood a chance.
• Americans are having less sex — Netflix and Uber Eats are apparently better birth control than anything at CVS.
• Millennial dads are more “present” than ever — maybe too present, cause these kids are SOFT
• A guy managed to knock up a mom and her daughter....
• Someone fired a firework at another person and one of us can relate.
• And a man scuba-dived into a restaurant robbery — Ocean’s Eleven, brought to you by Florida.

• The assassination of Charlie Kirk — political violence just went prime-time.
• Football players spitting on each other — because that's the only completion some of them will get this season.
• Canelo vs. Crawford — did this change this era's GOAT?

• Cardi B back in court — and the trial sounds wilder than her Instagram Live.
• Druski goes full gringo
• Florida ditches vaccine mandates because, well… Florida is gonna Florida.
• And a zoo casually asking for your pets, but not for what you think it is...

Just click already!

• Lil Nas X: at this point, he’s either the gay Antichrist or just the best troll since 50 Cent bought Ja Rule’s front row tickets.
• Cracker Barrel’s logo “controversy” — people are shocked it might actually mean crackers in a barrel. Next up: finding out Hooters isn’t a family restaurant.
• Politicians finally forced to show their votes and their sugar daddies — spoiler: democracy’s basically NASCAR with fewer helmets.

Click to listen now! Mainly because you're not supposed to.

• A Florida county paying for everyone’s college. Yep, the same state where bath salts and alligator wrestling make the news daily… somehow nailed education better than the feds.
• Tyson Bagent signs with the Bears and reacts like he just won a scratch-off, not a multi-million dollar deal.
• Jake Paul vs. Gervonta Davis — spoiler: one of them can actually box.
• And if your Labor Secretary won’t fudge the stats to make you look good… don’t fix the numbers, just fire the nerd and hire a liar.

All that plus the usual inappropriate jokes your HR department warned you about.

🍎 A special needs teacher with some, um, special needs

💨 Hunter Biden’s ongoing love affair—with crack pipes, not laptops (though those too)

It’s inappropriate, probably illegal, and definitely demonetized. Just the way you like it.

Subscribe, like, and rate us while you still can.

Society’s a mess—we’re just here to track the footprints.

Grab your headphones, hide your spouse, and prepare to lose a little more faith in humanity.

Also on deck:

⚖️ Diddy’s courtroom drama—plot twist: it’s somehow still messier than his parties

🚫 Trump protests that look more like chaotic music festivals

✈️ Migrants getting deported with the efficiency of Amazon Prime

🎉 And enough politically incorrect takes to get us demonetized twice

Tap in for the laughs, stay for the lawsuits. New episodes every week—subscribe, rate us 5 stars, and tell your HR department we said hi.

Listener discretion? Highly advised.

Dark humor? Always. Politically correct? Never heard of her.

 If you're easily offended, you're probably listening to the wrong show.

Subscribe, laugh, and lower your expectations — one carbon footprint at a time.

https://the-carbon-footprint.captivate.fm/listen