The Dynamics Of Everyday Life

If they wanted to, they would... wouldn't they?

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, Julia explores the popular phrase “if they wanted to, they would”… and asks whether it’s really as straightforward as it sounds.

While acknowledging that behaviour can sometimes be a clear indicator of priorities, she challenges the idea that human actions are ever that simple. Drawing on psychodynamic thinking, Julia looks at how fear, shame, and unconscious patterns often override intention, meaning that what people do isn’t always a clean reflection of what they want.

This episode invites listeners to sit with a more uncomfortable truth: that human behaviour is often messy, conflicted, and driven by forces we don’t fully see or understand.

Because sometimes, “they didn’t want to” isn’t the whole story.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.34) Moments where it is true

(3.27) He’s just not the into you

(4.47) Fear will override desire

(6.06) Where do you do this?

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... really?

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 00:15:00 +0100

We’re told imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

But is it?

In this episode, Julia explores why imitation doesn’t always feel like a compliment, and what it reveals about how ideas, identity, and influence really work.

Drawing on both professional and personal examples, she looks at the difference between repeating an idea and truly understanding it, and why popular phrases like “insight isn’t enough” are far easier to say than to work with in practice.

Because while words can be copied, the thinking behind them can’t.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.29) Is imitation the sincerest form of flattery?

(2.58) This doesn’t just happen on LinkedIn

(4.50) Insight isn’t enough

(6.42) A more generous way of looking at this

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

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Elevenerife

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode Julia explores the quiet competition that sometimes creeps into everyday conversations.

You mention you’re tired… someone else is exhausted.

You’ve had a busy week… they haven’t stopped all month.

Welcome to Elevenerife.

In this episode, Julia looks at the subtle one-upmanship that can turn ordinary conversations into contests, and the psychology behind why we do it.

Because most of the time, people aren’t asking for a bigger story.

They’re asking to be heard.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.50) The moment when ordinary conversation becomes a competition

(3.45) The need to be seen

(4.41) Comparison is deeply human

(5.31) Making sure our experience still matters

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

It's my party...

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 00:15:00 +0100

Why birthdays can turn perfectly capable adults back into 12 year olds.

In this episode, Julia explores the surprisingly powerful psychological dynamics that can surface around something as ordinary as a cake and a few candles.

Birthdays are status events. Someone becomes the centre, and in many families that isn’t as neutral as it sounds. Old roles can reappear, sibling scoreboards can quietly reactivate, and perfectly capable adults can suddenly find themselves feeling about twelve years old again.

Julia looks at why birthdays stir comparison, envy, competition for attention, and the sometimes complicated question of who gets to take up space.

Because sometimes a dinner reservation ends up carrying the emotional weight of a Victorian inheritance dispute.

If birthdays occasionally leave you feeling more tense than celebratory, there may be more going on beneath the surface than you realise.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.55) The Fairy Castle Cake

(2.34) Regression in birthdays

(4.36) The sibling layer

(6.06) Narcissism and birthdays

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

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Room 101

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, Julia explores the unsettling idea of Room 101 from Nineteen Eighty-Four; the place where you’re forced to face the thing you most fear.

But this isn’t about torture chambers or dramatic crises.

It’s about the everyday psychological Room 101 we all carry:

The conversation you never quite finish.

The pattern you insist is “just a phase.”

The relationship that’s fine… but thin.

The body symptom you minimise.

Julia challenges a common assumption: we’re not usually afraid of the truth itself. We’re afraid of what the truth will require.

Because once ambiguity collapses, once you confirm what you already half-know, something has to move. A boundary. A conversation. A grief. A decision.

Drawing on psychodynamic thinking, she explores how defences aren’t weaknesses but intelligent pacing mechanisms. “Not yet” can be wise. But there’s a difference between not yet and never.

This episode isn’t about forcing yourself into the room.

It’s about noticing the door.

And asking yourself one uncomfortable question:

What would it cost you to know?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.52) What is Room 101?

(3.38) Ambiguity in these moments

(5.12) Defences are intelligent

(6.44) What do we do?

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Just can't get enough

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 00:15:00 +0100

This is episode 100. Which either means Julia is consistent… or mildly obsessive. Possibly both.

In this episode of The Dynamics of Everyday Life, Julia explores why reassurance feels so good, and why it never quite holds.

From re-reading messages to over-interpreting silence, reassurance offers quick relief. It lowers anxiety. It creates a moment of safety.

But it doesn’t change the underlying script.

Drawing on psychodynamic thinking, Julia looks at how reassurance can become part of a repeating pattern rather than a solution. If the unconscious expectation remains… “I’ll be left”, “I’m not enough” …external comfort only settles things temporarily.

In this episode:

Why reassurance works, briefly
The difference between comfort and certainty
How familiar emotional patterns recreate themselves
When reassurance keeps us small
How to build tolerance without becoming emotionally rigid

The goal isn’t to never need reassurance.

It’s to not be run by it.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.57) What reassurance looks like

(3.38) Anxiety is a clever beast

(4.38) The repetition compulsion

(6.07) What do we do about this?

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

You can't sit there

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 00:15:00 +0100

We all know the feeling: walking into a room and scanning for safety. Holding back from posting because “who am I to say this?” Comparing our year one to someone else’s year five. Assuming a quiet patch means something personal.

But what if no one has actually excluded you?

In this episode, Julia explores the quieter psychology of self-exclusion: the decisions we make before anyone else has spoken.

She looks at:

Anticipatory rejection and the illusion of control
Pre-emptive withdrawal
Comparison as self-protection
The risk of saying, “This isn’t enough for me.”
And how easily we mistake quiet for rejection

Before deciding you aren’t wanted, it’s worth checking whether anyone actually said that.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.15) Anticipatory rejection

(2.46) Pre-emptive withdrawal

(3.18) Comparison as self protection

(4.20) Self exclusion as a form of control

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

We don't talk about Bruno

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, Julia explores the things we all quietly agree not to talk about; the topics that hover in the room, the comments that nearly get said, and the tensions that get smoothed over with humour, logistics, or a cup of tea.

Using “We don’t talk about Bruno” as a way in, she looks at why silence so often becomes a strategy. Not because we don’t know what’s going on, but because not naming it keeps things functioning. Silence preserves roles, avoids emotional fallout, and maintains a fragile kind of peace, but it comes at a cost.

Julia explores how what goes unsaid leaks out sideways, why avoidance isn’t weakness, and how these same dynamics show up in the coaching room when topics get circled but never named. This isn’t about barging in or forcing insight. It’s an invitation to notice what isn’t being spoken about, and to get curious about what that silence might be protecting.

Where might Bruno be living in your walls?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.32) We all have things we don’t talk about

(2.20) Bruno isn’t the problem

(3.15) Why don’t we talk about Bruno?

(4.32) Silence as a strategy

(7.38) If something keeps not getting mentioned, there’s probably a very good reason

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 00:15:00 +0100

“Always be yourself” is often offered as reassuring advice, but it rarely stands up to closer examination.

In this episode, Julia explores why the idea of a single, stable “true self” creates more pressure than clarity. Using Batman as an unexpectedly useful psychodynamic example, she looks at how many of the selves we live with are adaptations that once helped us survive, rather than expressions of authenticity. The episode considers why phrases like “be yourself” and “bring your whole self to work” can feel subtly coercive, how boundaries support psychological safety, why the word authentic has lost its usefulness, and what clients are often really saying when they feel disconnected from who they are. This is not a confidence issue, but a developmental story, and an invitation to greater understanding and choice.

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(2.07) Shark repellent bat spray

(2.49) Batman as a highly organised response to an early trauma

(6.45) The overuse of “authentic”

(8.07) What’s more helpful than ‘be yourself’

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Insight alone doesn't win Grand Slams

Wed, 28 Jan 2026 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode of The Dynamics of Everyday Life, Julia explores a familiar but uncomfortable truth: knowing why we do something doesn’t mean we can stop doing it.

Using a tennis metaphor (and a healthy dose of self-awareness), she unpacks why insight alone rarely leads to lasting change; and why so many intelligent, motivated people continue to repeat patterns they understand perfectly well.

This is a grounded exploration of the limits of insight, the myths of personal development culture, and what a psychodynamic lens can offer when change stalls.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(3.30) The personal development myth

(4.23) The repetition compulsion

(5.56) Secondary gains and unconscious loyalty

(7.30) Why tools aren’t enough

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Not everything needs to be on Facebook

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 00:15:00 +0100

Somewhere along the way, visibility got confused with exposure.

In this episode of The Dynamics of Everyday Life, Julia explores how sharing online has shifted from something intentional into something increasingly driven by anxiety. This isn’t an episode arguing for or against social media - Julia uses it for her business and enjoys it in her personal life too - but it is an invitation to pause and think about what happens when being seen tips into being uncontained.

Drawing on psychodynamic thinking, Julia looks at acting out as a primary defence mechanism, and how it shows up in everyday online behaviour. She unpacks why oversharing isn’t a moral failing, why being witnessed isn’t the same as being regulated, and how the pressure to be “authentic” can sometimes bypass reflection altogether.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt the urge to post something just to get rid of a feeling, and wondered afterwards whether it actually helped.

Highlights of this episode:

(2.03) Visibility versus exposure

(4.48) When sharing is driven by anxiety

(5.12) Acting out as a primary defence

(7.24) Oversharing, regulation and performance

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

We can't all be Madonna

Wed, 14 Jan 2026 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, Julia explores our obsession with reinvention, why change doesn’t always equal growth, and what refinement, coherence and psychological settlement really look like.

This episode's highlights:

00:00 Welcome back, New Year reflections & a birthday aside

01:40 January, planners, noise and the pressure to reinvent

03:05 Madonna and the cultural fantasy of reinvention

04:35 When reinvention is driven by anxiety, not growth

06:20 When reinvention does make sense (and when it doesn’t)

07:35 Madonna vs Kylie: coherence, identity and psychic fit

09:00 Carolyn Bessette Kennedy and the authority of not scrambling

10:05 Closing reflection: staying with who you already are

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Are we there yet?

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome to another episode of The Dynamics of Everyday Life. In this festive episode, I dive into the unique emotional landscape leading up to Christmas, exploring why the “most wonderful time of the year” can also feel overwhelming, exhausting, or even anticlimactic.

The Long Build-Up:

How Christmas has become an extended season, starting as early as July for some retailers, and why this drawn-out anticipation can drain our emotional reserves.

Emotional Fatigue:

With all the pressures—shopping, family logistics, work deadlines, and the ever-present festive expectations—it’s common to arrive at Christmas Eve simply feeling "done."

00:01:43 – 00:02:51:

lets look at different retailers' early preparations, and explain why the beginning of December can feel like an ending, with build-up causing exhaustion.

00:02:51 – 00:03:34:

how depleted people often feel by Christmas Eve, my wish for sleep, and the tasks that would be gifted upon surprise celebrity guests.

00:03:35 – 00:04:17:

exploring the theme of endings, psychological suppression, and the classic “I’ll do it after Christmas” approach.

00:04:17 – 00:04:50:

listing the feelings stirred up by endings—reflection, loss, relief—often outside of conscious awareness, compounded by tiredness and media expectations.

00:04:51 – 00:06:13:

highlighting the pressures of the season, from family logistics to work deadlines, and how Christmas removes distractions, letting buried feelings surface.

This episode is all about self-compassion during the holidays—acknowledging realistic feelings and setting aside the pressure to make everything perfect. Whether you’re curled up with a film, or just relieved you made it through, this conversation is for you.

Don’t forget to subscribe, and check the show notes for links to courses, YouTube, and contact info!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Same old brand new you

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I dive into that feeling of chaos in December, the pressure of festive readiness, and the hilarious truth of barely keeping up with the day-to-day—let alone big-picture life planning. I draw on a classic 90s pop song (A1’s Same Old Brand New You) as a metaphor for our perennial attempts at self-reinvention, especially around New Year.

The episode delves into coaching, training, and how true practitioner growth comes from developing emotional capacity, tolerating discomfort, and self-awareness—not just collecting new tools and certificates.

Discussing “Brand New You” Energy [00:00:57] – [00:01:53]:

reflects on the pressure for reinvention around New Year and connects it to the pop song "Same Old Brand New You" by A1.

Why We Struggle to Change [00:01:55] – [00:03:45]:

explores the cycle of seeking fresh starts—new routines, skincare, or wardrobes—only to fall back into old patterns.

Psychodynamic Perspective [00:03:46] – [00:05:31]:

explains how our defense mechanisms manifest as failed attempts at self-improvement, like compulsive gym sign-ups and recurring emotional patterns.

The Reality of True Transformation [00:05:33] – [00:06:39]:

differentiates fantasy versus reality in making meaningful change, stressing that authentic change is slow, internal, and unglamorous.

Coaching & Professional Development [00:06:40] – [00:08:33]:

discusses pitfalls in coaching and training—collecting certificates without tackling deeper internal growth—and highlights psychodynamic approaches for genuine practitioner evolution.

Subscribe to “The Dynamics of Everyday Life” wherever you get your podcasts.

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Freud Actually

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this festive episode, I explore why certain seasonal films—especially the beloved “Love, Actually”—may leave some of us cold (or even unsettled). With her signature wit and a psychodynamic perspective, I dive into the unconscious emotional patterns that emerge during December, using Freud’s theories to pull apart the charm, nostalgia, and suppressed feelings invoked by the holiday narrative machine.

00:00:16 – Confession: Not a fan of 'Love, Actually'
Julia shares her candid opinion on the film and playfully wonders if she's become the Grinch.
00:01:02 – Freud Actually: Why festive narratives mess with us
Julia introduces the main theme: how December ramps up old relational patterns and triggers regression.
00:02:31 – Psychological dissection of 'Love, Actually' scenes
Julia dives into specific movie moments: Andrew Lincoln's placard scene (reaction formation), Colin Firth and the housekeeper (idealisation), Emma Thompson and the necklace (suppression and denial), and Hugh Grant’s storyline (idealisation and power dynamics).
00:05:43 – Why does this matter in coaching?
Julia relates film tropes to daily life and coaching, discussing real-life psychological dynamics and festive pressure.
00:06:24 – Stories as emotional projectors
Julia explains how personal reactions to stories reflect unconscious echoes—it's never just about the film.
00:07:33 – Invitation for personal reflection
Julia encourages listeners to reflect on times they've felt pressured to like something and to be kind to themselves for thinking differently.

Don’t Forget: Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and check out more from “Dynamics Of Everyday Life” for deep-dives into why we do what we do—not just during Christmas, but all year round.

Thanks for listening!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

You Got This

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome to another episode of Dynamics of Everyday Life with your host Julia! In today's episode, I dive into the often-used (and sometimes grating) phrase, "You got this." From personal tech catastrophes to the emotional shortcuts we use in day-to-day interactions, this episode explores why seemingly supportive statements can sometimes leave us feeling unseen.

Notice when you reach for tidy, positive slogans and ask yourself what discomfort you might be avoiding. When someone says "You got this" to you, remember it's about their needs, not yours—and imperfection is always allowed.

00:00:56 – 00:02:28 Store Experience & Unhelpful Encouragement:
Apple store assistants repeatedly say "you got this", and Julia describes how it doesn’t feel supportive.
00:02:29 – 00:03:19 Data Transfer Saga & SIM Card Troubles:
The process of swapping SIM cards and transferring data, with conflicting advice and unexpected delays.
00:03:19 – 00:04:24 Emotional Impact & Psychological Concepts:
Julia reflects on how she absolutely did not "have it", discussing the real anxiety and the missing clarity.
00:04:25 – 00:06:20 Phrase Analysis – "You Got This":
Julia analyzes why "you got this" is a problematic phrase, listing defense mechanisms like denial, minimization, deflection, projection, and reassurance as avoidance.
00:06:20 – 00:07:37 Healthy Alternatives & Emotional Presence:
She offers more supportive alternatives to "you got this" and encourages emotional presence and connection.

ou don’t have to "got this" just because someone says so. Emotional presence is more valuable than tidiness—give yourself grace and celebrate the humanity in imperfection!

Thanks for listening! Let us know your thoughts and experiences with “You got this”—and don’t miss next week’s episode!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Home Alone - When Your Defences Take Over

Wed, 26 Nov 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to "The Dynamics of Everyday Life"! In this festive episode, I draw brilliant parallels between the classic movie Home Alone and the ways our psychological defence mechanisms can "run the house" – especially during the holidays.

Key Takeaways:

Home Alone as Psychodynamic Metaphor:
I explore how the film's characters and setting represent parts of our inner world. Kevin becomes the unconscious self, the house symbolizes our internal world, and the missing adults mirror emotional absence.
Common Defences in Daily Life:
Denial: Illustrated by Kate McCallister's "everything's fine" attitude and seen in our own holiday-season justifications.
Projection: The Wet Bandits blaming the house for their mishaps—a mirror of how we sometimes disown uncomfortable feelings.
Repetition Compulsion: Persistently making the same choices, just like the Wet Bandits' endless break-in attempts.
Acting Out: Kevin’s booby traps are a stand-in for how we act on emotion rather than sit with it.
Deflection: Using humor or distraction to avoid uncomfortable truths.
Transference: Projecting fears onto others—like Kevin’s suspicion of the neighbor, or our reactions in everyday relationships.
[00:01:02] – [00:01:39] Relating the movie to coaching and real-life scenarios:
[00:01:40] – [00:02:20] Denial as a defence mechanism (with Home Alone examples):
[00:02:20] – [00:02:54] Everyday denial and its manifestation:
[00:02:54] – [00:03:29] Projection, featuring the Wet Bandits:
[00:03:29] – [00:04:01] Repetition compulsion and real-life parallels:
[00:04:01] – [00:04:58] Acting out and deflection, with examples:
[00:04:59] – [00:05:58] Transference, the neighbour, and coaching takeaways:
[00:05:58] – [00:08:00] Reflection and invitation to listeners, festive season defences:
[00:08:01] – [00:08:38] Upcoming live sessions, course information, and resources:

Don’t forget to subscribe for more psychodynamic insights from “The Dynamics of Everyday Life” and explore additional resources at DynamicsOfEverydayLife.

Happy Christmas, and maybe go easy on the metaphorical booby traps this winter!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Cersei Lannister's Guide to Saying No

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to the Dynamics of Everyday Life. This week, we're channeling the unapologetic energy of Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones—not her questionable morals, but her boundary-setting prowess.

Classic scenarios get the “Cersei treatment”—from relentless school WhatsApp requests to the friend who treats your diary like a communal resource, plus the workplace colleague who turns a “quick five minutes” into an hour-long venting session.

[00:00:04 - 00:00:47]

Introduction to the episode, teasing why the topic is relevant and referencing Cersei Lannister.

[00:00:48 - 00:01:36]

Julia introduces Cersei Lannister as having strong boundaries and unapologetic energy, clarifying what's being "borrowed" from her character.

[00:01:37 - 00:02:18]

Shares Cersei's iconic "queen" quote (adapted for the podcast), then links her energy to saying no in everyday life.

[00:02:18 - 00:02:40]

Discusses common real-world situations where people say yes when they want to say no.

[00:02:41 - 00:03:18]

Lists everyday examples of over-giving or lack of boundaries—school chats, neighbors, emotional labor.

[00:03:18 - 00:03:54]

Explores why people let boundaries be pushed, referencing Matthew Hussey and psychodynamic concepts.

[00:03:55 - 00:04:36]

Looks at how over-giving relates to status and the desire to be liked, and contrasts with Cersei's attitude.

[00:04:37 - 00:05:08]

Brings up boundary-pushing behavior during holiday seasons (e.g., Christmas assumptions), with examples.

[00:05:09 - 00:05:52]

Workplace boundary examples and the idea of patterned behavior, mentioning repetition compulsion.

[00:05:53 - 00:06:41]

Advice on how to channel "Cersei energy" into valuing yourself and setting unapologetic boundaries.

[00:06:41 - 00:07:22]

Describes resentment stemming from under-valuing oneself, using a restaurant bill-splitting scenario.

[00:07:22 - 00:07:54]

Emphasizes why boundaries improve relationships, likens boundaries to rollercoaster safety bars.

[00:07:55 - 00:08:42]

Explains relationships are safer and deeper when both parties know the boundaries; shares a personal story.

[00:08:44 - 00:09:35]

How boundary issues play out in coaching: overextending, late payments, blurred access, etc.

Stay up to date! Subscribe on your favorite podcast platform, and check out even more psychodynamic content at DynamicsOfEverydayLife.

Thanks for listening! If you found Cersei’s “no” inspiring, let us know—and start practicing your queen-energy boundaries.

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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All That Glitters

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode of Dynamics of Everyday Life, I delve into the allure of “glitter” in our lives—those shiny, appealing things that may lack true substance beneath the surface. Drawing from both personal anecdotes and experiences within the coaching industry, I explore why we’re drawn to what looks good, the projection of our desires onto shiny promises, and how easily we can confuse illusion for reality.

The Glitter Effect: Why we often prioritize appearance over essence, especially in coaching and self-development spaces.
Projection and Idealization: How we see what we want to see, and why that can be risky.
The Discomfort of Disillusionment: Confronting the moment when “glitter” flakes and we’re left with reality.
The Value of Depth: How true growth and satisfaction come from looking beyond surface sparkle, even if it's uncomfortable.
Critical Self-Reflection: Questions to help distinguish between genuine value and mere dazzle, both for ourselves and our clients.

00:01:06 - 00:02:00

Why we’re drawn to "glitter": projection, perceived lack, and how people sell to these desires.

00:02:01 - 00:02:35

The pressure to “crack it” and the promises dangled before us—validation, success, belonging, and how hard these are to attain alone.

00:02:36 - 00:03:21

The seduction of magic formulas and Instagram coaches; projecting our ideals onto people or things.

00:03:22 - 00:04:25

Escaping the discomfort of being ordinary; illusions and fantasy versus reality; marketing polish versus substance.

00:04:27 - 00:05:20

The reality check when "glitter" flakes away: disappointment with shiny programs, performative thought leaders, and following someone else’s idea of success.

00:05:22 - 00:06:03

Distinguishing sparkle from substance; Freud’s idea of disillusionment and how shame or denial might follow.

00:06:03 - 00:06:41

Seeing things as they are—mourning the fantasy, making your own decisions, and digging beyond surface impressions.

00:06:42 - 00:07:22

“The glitter trap” in coaching: idealizing leaders, professions, ourselves; feeling bereft when the shine wears off.

00:07:23 - 00:08:41

Using critical thinking to spot glitter vs. gold; questions to ask yourself about motivation and illusion.

00:08:41 - 00:09:15

What happens if you are the one adding glitter? Giving yourself grace for falling for or creating illusions.

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review wherever you get your podcasts!

Thanks for tuning in to this thought-provoking episode!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

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Just don't have the heart

Wed, 05 Nov 2025 00:15:00 +0100

I explore the theme of guilt and those everyday situations where we “just don’t have the heart” to make a change—even when we know we should. Drawing inspiration from Cliff Richard’s classic song and personal experiences (including a hairdresser dilemma!), I break down why these small endings feel so difficult, delving into the psychodynamic concepts at play.

I explain how guilt keeps us stuck in outdated friendships, memberships, or routines—not to protect others, but often to safeguard our self-image as loyal and kind.

[00:01:01]

I give relatable examples like friendships, memberships, and my own dilemma about changing hairdressers due to guilt.

[00:01:41]

I share how guilt influenced my choices, illustrating the outsized emotional response to small decisions.

[00:02:20]

Discussion of how small endings can feel harder than big ones, and reflections on missed cathartic moments (slamming phone, walking out).

[00:02:51]

I explore the concept of guilt as "social glue"—signalling care, but also maintaining self-image, and Freud's superego.

[00:03:21]

I dive into the psychodynamic theory, introducing transference and how past relationships influence current situations (people-pleasing).

[00:04:06]

I cover defence mechanisms, how guilt functions to avoid discomfort, and introduce rationalisation as a way people justify staying put.

[00:05:12]

I talk about reaction formation—overcompensating with politeness or affection to shield oneself from true feelings.

[00:05:52]

I address idealisation and identification, how empathy or imagining the other's feelings can heighten personal guilt.

[00:06:22]

I invite listeners to consider where they're saying yes to avoid guilt, and differentiate comfort from growth.

[00:07:12]

I examine guilt at the edge of growth, staying in situations for loyalty or politeness, and encourage self-reflection and self-grace.

[00:07:59]

Self-awareness can be challenging, so proceed at your own pace. Reach out for support, subscribe, and stay tuned for future episodes!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

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Shakespeare gave me a bit of help with the title...

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I dive into the origins of our ideas, why originality feels scarce, and how our wish to belong can sometimes lead us to imitate rather than create. Inspired by a clever Blackadder moment and enriched with psychodynamic insight

I invite you to consider moments when you’ve gone along with ideas or frameworks without questioning their origins—or perhaps borrowed someone’s platform without realizing. Awareness is key, and self-grace is encouraged.

00:01:07

I reflect on recycled content and originality, sharing examples of people copying theories and content, and touches on the impact of groupthink.

00:02:11

I give a personal example from a Sandy Togsvig show about following the crowd during a game—illustrating the loss of critical thinking.

00:02:50

Discussion about originality and creativity drought, and why people borrow ideas—introducing the concept of healthy narcissism.

00:03:45

I explore how admiration for thinkers (Freud, Jung, Shakespeare) can inspire or lead to imitation, linking to the need for validation.

00:04:33

I examine the tipping point between inspiration and imitation and the role of authority and validation, referencing unconscious identification.

00:05:37

I explain Freud’s concept of identification, how adults borrow traits from others, and the links to creativity and anxiety.

00:06:16

I describe unhealthy identification and how over-identifying erases individuality.

00:06:53

The difference between healthy and unhealthy identification, and the blurry line between admiration and imitation.

00:07:45

I make a case for depth and originality, criticising recycled theories and jargon, and advocates for crediting sources like Shakespeare.

For more on psychodynamics, show details, and my work, check the links in the show notes and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!

Thank you for listening to Dynamics of Everyday Life!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

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More front than Blackpool

Wed, 22 Oct 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life! In this episode, I dive headfirst into the fascinating world of audacity and "brass neck": those jaw-dropping moments when someone’s outlandish behaviour stops us in our tracks and leaves us wondering, “Is it me, or has the world gone mad?”

00:01:22 – I discuss why brazen behavior gets under our skin and introduces the concept of the implicit social contract.
00:02:07 – Exploration of how different people live by different moral codes, a dose of envy, and the wish to be uninhibited.
00:02:55 – I share an anecdote from her early work in community mental health and discusses the allure of expressive freedom.
00:03:50 – Introduction of defense mechanisms: denial, rationalization, and narcissistic grandiosity.
00:04:38 – I explore identification with brazen people and what happens when we try out shamelessness ourselves.
00:05:22 – The link between audacity and insecurity: grandiosity hides fragility, and how our own superego reacts.
00:06:20 – Advice from dating coach Matthew Hussey about the power of silence and responding with grace.
00:07:17 – Self-reflection invitation: how do we respond to brazen behavior, and a reminder to give ourselves grace.

Remember, developing self-awareness can be challenging. Take it at your own pace, and don’t forget to subscribe for more psychodynamic fun!

Thank you for listening!

Subscribe, connect, and join the fun as we uncover the dynamics that shape our everyday lives.

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

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People are People

Wed, 15 Oct 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this thought-provoking episode of the Dynamics of Everyday Life, I explore why group dynamics—especially within committees, boards, and teams—often lead even sensible adults into emotionally charged conflicts and role-playing. Drawing inspiration from the Depeche Mode song “People are People,” I dive into why group situations can reduce us to playground politics and power struggles, no matter our age or intention.

[00:00:54]

I describe real-world examples of committee conflict, highlighting how group dynamics can become emotionally charged—even among well-meaning people.

[00:01:47]

Discussion of why adults lose perspective in committees—I introduce the idea that group settings trigger behaviors and roles from childhood, mentioning transference.

[00:02:29]

Detailed explanation of transference and how group members unconsciously take on familiar roles from the past (e.g., chairperson as “dad,” outspoken member as “big sister”).

[00:03:00]

I dive into defence mechanisms at play within groups, like projection, splitting, and projective identification, and explains how committee dynamics feel like family dynamics.

[00:03:35]

Breakdown of typical roles in group settings—parent, rebel, peacekeeper, child—and how group issues are often symbolic rather than literal.

[00:04:17]

I link group dynamics in committees to workplace teams and families. I share a personal story about leaving a stressful WhatsApp group chat.

[00:04:57]

How we repeat familiar patterns unconsciously and why Depeche Mode’s lyric, "people are people," fits so well.

[00:05:44]

Introduction of the concept “the third” by Jessica Benjamin: Stepping back as an observer instead of an automatic participant in group drama.

[00:06:22]

Strategies for moving from reactive to responsive in group dynamics—naming patterns rather than people.

[00:07:05]

Advice to listeners: Reflect on their own experiences in groups, realize these patterns are universal, and give themselves grace.

Always remember: group tension is rarely personal. People are people, doing their best to meet old needs in new ways.

Don’t forget to subscribe and check the show notes for links to resources and more episodes!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Why can't we say what we think?

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life! In this episode, I get candid about the struggle to express what we really think, especially when it feels safer to go along with the crowd. I share a personal story about sitting through an event that felt uncomfortable and explores why so many of us bite our tongues instead of speaking up.

[00:00:50] I describe the pressure to join in, mentioning groupthink and the discomfort of not speaking my mind, sparking the episode's main question: Why can’t we just say what we think?

[00:01:47] I suggest the desire to be seen as “nice” drives our reluctance to speak honestly—often rooted more in self-protection than kindness.

[00:03:30] I give everyday examples of people pleasing—saying yes when you mean no, pretending to enjoy things, staying silent, and even coaches softening challenges.

[00:04:20] I dig deeper: our fear of disappointing others, the “good child” dynamic, and Freud’s superego voice leading us to create a “false self,” per Winnicott.

[00:05:14] I explains the cost: we conceal our real selves, leading to lack of connection in relationships.

[00:05:56] I explore the idea that niceness can be a way of controlling outcomes—staying agreeable to keep others sweet, with “niceness as emotional insurance.”

[00:06:26] I address longer-term costs: resentment, regret, and a lack of putting ourselves first.

[00:08:08] Setting clear boundaries can actually invite respect and safety, even if it causes initial pushback.

[00:08:57] I invite listeners to reflect on their motivations for being nice, warns of the tragedy of the true self never getting to breathe, and wraps up with reminders for self-kindness.

Don’t forget to subscribe to The Dynamics of Everyday Life wherever you get your podcasts

Thanks for tuning in!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Sorry, am I boring you?

Wed, 01 Oct 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life! In this episode, I dive deep into the art—and myth—of “perfect listening.” I reflect on my own journey in coaching, challenging the classic belief that being told you're a "good listener" means you actually are one.

There’s no such thing as a perfect listener, because listening is always relational—not technical. Being “good enough” is more authentic and meaningful than striving to check all the boxes. It’s okay to get it wrong sometimes, own it, and show up as your real self.

00:02:12 — I explore listening behaviours, mentioning stereotypes like "the nodder" and "the paraphraser," and how these habits impact conversations.

00:03:18 — I expand on the “saintly listener” stereotype and describes how these behaviours can leave people feeling unseen.

00:04:20 — I shift into the psychodynamic reasons behind wanting to be a perfect listener, such as desire for approval, fear of conflict, and boosting self-esteem.

00:04:55 — I describe how aiming for perfect listening can be self-defensive, and outline common defense mechanisms in listening (e.g., intellectualization, identification with the “good listener” role).

00:06:17 — More defense mechanisms are discussed, including avoidance, reaction formation, denial of countertransference, and pseudo-containment.

00:07:24 — I connect these mechanisms to the emotional impact on relationships and the importance of finding the right balance in listening.

00:08:02 — I touch on the downsides of both under- and over-listening, and the importance of authentic reaction in relationships.

00:08:54 — I caution against becoming a mirror rather than a person in coaching, emphasizing the need for resonance and genuine engagement.

00:09:33 — I reference Winnicott’s concept of “good enough,” applying it to listening, and argue that being authentic is better than aiming for perfection.

00:10:34 — I offer a reflective challenge for listeners to evaluate their own listening habits and motivations.

Don’t forget to subscribe, and check out additional psychodynamic resources at

Thank you for listening to The Dynamics of Everyday Life!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

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I'm sorry you feel that way

Wed, 24 Sep 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome to another episode of The Dynamics of Everyday Life. In today’s episode, I tackle the frustrating world of the “non-apology”—those pseudo-apologies that leave us feeling worse than before, often making us question our own experiences.

Explores classic examples like “I’m sorry you feel that way” and “I’m sorry if anyone was offended,” highlighting how these statements shift blame onto the recipient instead of acknowledging responsibility.

What’s really going on when someone gives a non-apology? I dive into defense mechanisms—rationalisation, denial, projection, and splitting—that drive people to avoid taking true accountability, even at the cost of their relationships.

[00:01:09] Examples of Non-Apologies

Discussion of classic non-apology phrases like "I'm sorry you feel that way" and what makes them frustrating.

[00:01:54] Why Non-Apologies Feel Hollow

Exploring the lack of personal responsibility and the role of defense mechanisms like rationalisation.

[00:02:55] Defense Mechanisms: Rationalisation, Denial & Gaslighting

How these defense mechanisms show up, including rationalisation, denial, and elements of gaslighting.

[00:03:47] Projection and Blame-Shifting

Explanation of projection and how blame is shifted onto others, especially when emotions run high.

[00:04:41] Case Study: Boris Johnson and Partygate

Recap of the pandemic restrictions, Boris Johnson’s response to Partygate, and public reaction.

[00:06:09] Analysis of the Public Apology

I critique Boris Johnson’s response and why it missed the mark on accountability.

[00:07:56] Non-Apologies in Everyday Life

Examples from family, friends, and the workplace. Touching on coaching perspectives and how to invite real repair.

[00:08:50] What Makes a Real Apology

I outline the structure of an effective apology and invites listeners to reflect on their own experiences.

Listen & Subscribe:

Don’t miss an episode—subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and visit DynamicsOfEverydayLife for more psychodynamic insights.

Where in your life have you encountered or offered a non-apology? What feelings did it bring up, and what might you (or they) have been trying to avoid?

Thanks for tuning in to another episode exploring the everyday dynamics we all encounter.

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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Yes Netflix I am still watching

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I dive into the all-too-relatable habit of procrastinating on what’s good for us; by binge-watching Netflix, endlessly scrolling on Instagram, or getting sucked into comfort activities instead of what we know would make us feel better. Inspired by Netflix’s infamous “Are you still watching?” prompt, I explore why we so often avoid the things that are actually nourishing, and what’s really going on beneath the surface when we fall into these patterns.

00:01:17 – I discuss procrastination, using the example of watching Netflix instead of being productive, referencing the old kids' TV show "Why Don't You."

00:02:21 – I explore the comfort found in binge-watching or scrolling, alongside the later regrets about wasted time.

00:03:21 – I rationalise binge-watching as self-care, using my time with my daughter as an example, and considers whether it might have been better spent otherwise.

00:04:16 – I break down psychodynamic concepts at play: avoidance, regression, and displacement, explaining how they relate to binge-watching or procrastinating.

00:06:01 – I mention Freud’s superego, and the feeling of guilt or inner criticism when Netflix’s prompt appears.

00:06:41 – I caveat that sometimes mindless binging is precisely what we need due to overwhelm.

00:07:45 – I invite listeners to note the recurring sibling dynamic in "Love is Blind" and teases a future episode.

00:08:28 – Practical advice: Treat yourself kindly, ask what you’re avoiding, try to delay the urge to binge-scroll, and build awareness.

Visit Dynamics of Everyday Life for more on psychodynamics, coaching, and services

Join my LinkedIn Live sessions – Mondays at 2:30pm

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Don’t miss an episode—subscribe to the Dynamics of Everyday Life podcast wherever you get your podcasts!

Where in your life have you been avoiding things you know would be more helpful for you? What might you be putting off, and do you know why? Give yourself some grace—it’s all part of being human.

Thanks for listening!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

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A Reason, a season or a lifetime

Wed, 10 Sep 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I dive deep into the ever-evolving world of friendships—especially what happens to our friendships when life gets tough. Drawing from my own recent experiences, I explore how trauma can impact our capacity to maintain relationships, why our friend circles might shrink, and the common misunderstandings that occur on both sides.

[00:01:06] Julia shares how she’s revisiting the topic of friendship from a new, more personal angle—especially reflecting on her own recent experiences during a challenging time.

[00:02:15] She explains how her capacity for social interaction diminished, and her friendship circle shrank as a result of what she was going through.

[00:03:09] Julia describes how some friends were understanding and supportive during her withdrawal, while others struggled with her need for space.

[00:03:53] She delves into the psychodynamic perspective: how traumatic experiences can put us in survival mode, leading to withdrawal as a defense mechanism, and why we might appear distant or unresponsive to friends.

[00:04:42] Further exploration of defense mechanisms at play—withdrawal, avoidance, and denial—as well as how this can affect communication with friends.

[00:05:39] Discussion of projection and displacement, where friends might express hurt and frustration not directly related to the root cause.

[00:06:13] Julia addresses the role of guilt and shame, and how withdrawing to take care of oneself can feel like letting others down—even when it’s necessary for personal well-being.

[00:07:01] Exploration of the psychological reasons friends might feel left out—envy or feelings of exclusion—and how this can surface as passive aggression.

[00:07:53] Julia discusses what true friendship looks like from a psychodynamic lens, referencing Winnicott and Bion, and invites listeners to consider their own friendship patterns.

Reflect on where you are in your own friendships—have you needed space, or perhaps a friend has? How did you respond? Remember, sometimes people are in our lives for “a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

Don’t forget:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Bonus Episode - Conversations about Sales

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this bonus episode I talk to Jo Stimson, founder of the Sales Only membership group about why we find sales such a tricky subject. There are huge amounts of defence mechanisms coming out to play here, all ready to trip us up. It’s a must listen for anyone who finds sales a struggle and needs to get out of their own way.

You can find Jo at:

https://www.facebook.com/share/1EwN3UNtE6/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1FUT7HJbjs/?mibextid=wwXIfr https://johanne-stimson.mykajabi.com/sales-only-membership-1 http://linkedin.com/in/johannestimson-gotojo

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Back to Reality

Wed, 03 Sep 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life with your host, Julia! In this episode, I dive into the curious phenomenon of not being able to imagine life after a big event—be it a long-awaited holiday, Christmas, or any milestone. Why do we focus everything on the buildup and then feel lost or “blank” once it’s over? I take a psychodynamic lens to this universal experience, exploring our emotional need to create psychological boundaries through fixed points in time.

[00:01:10] — Realization that this is a universal phenomenon, introduction to the concept of "back to reality," and distinction from Monday Blues/Sunday Scaries.

[00:01:50] — Discussion of the struggle to imagine life beyond fixed points and common slump after big events.

[00:02:32] — Psychodynamic perspective: Using events as psychological boundaries and containers.

[00:03:18] — Defenses and avoidance strategies: procrastination masked as planning, with examples around holidays like Christmas.

[00:04:01] — More about how we split time between "before" and "after" events, and the illusion of psychological space and control.

[00:06:02] — School holidays analogy; personal anecdote about denial and last-minute preparations for back-to-school.

[00:06:48] — September as a "new start," the myth of fresh starts, and the reality of post-event life.

[00:08:15] — Personal example of keeping the post-event feeling alive, advice for self-compassion and reframing anxiety-driven habits.

Upcoming Events:

Webinar with Scott Warren: Exploring defense mechanisms around pricing for coaches (early September)
Essential Psychodynamics for Coaches course starts again in September
Weekly LinkedIn Live Sessions: Mondays at 2:30pm (unless it’s a bank holiday!)

Find more resources, join live sessions, or connect about coaching and psychodynamics at DynamicsOfEverydayLife.

Don’t forget to subscribe, and stay tuned for more episodes helping you demystify everyday psychology!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Why am I asking for your advice when I wouldn’t let you choose my sandwich?

Wed, 27 Aug 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life with Julia! In this episode, I explore why we sometimes hand over important decisions to people whose judgment we wouldn’t even trust to pick our lunch. Through stories of dog-sitting, business frustrations, and family dynamics, I examines what’s going on beneath the surface when we seek outside advice during moments of overwhelm.

[00:00:48] – Responsibility & Decision-Making

I discuss making decisions for the dog, connect it to parenting, and segue into feelings of overwhelm in business, particularly with sales and marketing.

[00:01:50] – Struggles & Seeking Advice

I recount attending an unhelpful business event and reflect on my hopes for insightful advice versus the reality of generic recommendations.

[00:02:26] – Advice & Overwhelm

I question why I sought advice from strangers and discuss how easy it is to look for the “right” answer elsewhere when feeling overwhelmed.

[00:03:25] – Outsourcing Decision-making

I realise that having a large following isn’t helpful if it isn’t the right audience; discuss how, when flooded by decisions, confidence shrinks and we start to “outsource” thinking.

[00:04:21] – The Sandwich Test & Regression

I share my “sandwich test” for whose opinions matter, and talk about regressing into less confident parts of ourselves under stress.

[00:04:52] – The Fantasy of the Right Answer

Explain the fantasy that someone else knows better; reference my experience training coaches and how there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

[00:05:37] – Psychodynamics: Introjection & Transference

Introduce the concepts of introjected authority figures and transference, and how these start early in life and influence current decision-making patterns.

[00:06:50] – Real-World Examples

I give relatable examples of unsolicited advice from networking contacts, family, and friends with questionable expertise.

[00:07:53] – Applying the Sandwich Test

Suggest the “sandwich test” for business advice, reviewing the intention behind seeking advice, and assessing your “circle of advisors.”

Don’t forget to subscribe to The Dynamics of Everyday Life wherever you get your podcasts, and join the growing community of listeners eager to dig into what makes us tick.

Feeling overwhelmed? Remember: even Dorothy needed to make the journey to realise she could get herself home. Give yourself some grace and trust your own back catalogue of experience.

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The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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Mirror Mirror

Wed, 20 Aug 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I explore the concept of narcissism, from its everyday expressions at family barbecues or holiday trips, to its deeper psychodynamic origins. As our summer holidays approach, I reflect on how personality dynamics, group travel, and different planning styles can bring personal patterns (and those of others) into sharper focus.

I explain how narcissistic behaviours are often defenses against uncomfortable feelings like shame, insignificance, or vulnerability, rather than simply signs of a “narcissist.” I draw on psychoanalytic theory (think Freud, Kohut, Kernberg) to unpack why we all use narcissistic defenses sometimes, and offer compassionate, practical advice for spotting and responding to these patterns, both in ourselves and others.

[00:03:43] Psychodynamic View of Narcissism

Discusses Freud’s work on narcissism as a developmental phase.
Heinz Kohut and Otto Kernberg’s contributions: narcissism as a developmental need for mirroring.

[00:04:22] Lack of Early Mirroring & Narcissistic Defenses

If we lack early mirroring, we may form narcissistic defenses to protect a fragile self.
These defenses include grandiosity, entitlement, devaluation, and idealization.

[00:06:39] Narcissism: Defense vs. Personality Structure

Distinction between situational narcissistic defenses and a fixed narcissistic personality structure.
Defenses are reactive and protect against shame, vulnerability, and loss of control.

[00:08:42] Types of Narcissistic Defenses in Action

Examples: grandiosity, idealization, devaluation, envy, and entitlement.
These arise when self-esteem is threatened or intimacy is risky.

[00:09:20] Recognizing Defenses in Everyday Life

Emphasis on the reactive nature of these behaviors.
Not everyone with narcissistic defenses has a narcissistic personality disorder.

[00:10:24] Narcissism at the Family Barbecue

Real-life examples: the relative who must have things their way; friends who always redirect the conversation to themselves.
In professional settings: clients seeking admiration or flipping from idealization to devaluation.

[00:12:15] How to Respond to Narcissistic Defenses

Don’t take it personally—see the behavior as defensive rather than manipulative.
Tips: stay grounded, avoid labeling, invite reflection, and know when to step back.

[00:14:44] Takeaways & Self-Reflection

Importance of boundaries and being aware of your own reactions.
Reminds listeners that narcissism can be situational, not a set pattern.

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

What's your problem?

Wed, 13 Aug 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I unpack the popular marketing advice to "address the problem of your client", exploring why that’s effective, and where it misses the deeper, messier reality of human problems. Drawing from my psychodynamic training and experience, I highlight how, psychologically, the problems we present are rarely as straightforward as they seem.

Everything from James Bond snow globes to struggles with social media and business sales— shows how we often mask what’s really going on with safer, more manageable issues. I discuss common defence mechanisms like displacement and intellectualization, and explain how the problems we focus on can actually protect us from uncomfortable truths or even connect us with others.

[00:01:33] – Musings on the phrase "what's your problem?" and how social behaviors have changed over the years. Introduction of the topic, understanding problems from a psychodynamic perspective.

[00:03:27] – From a psychodynamic angle, problems are rarely what they seem on the surface. Introduction to the concept of the "hand on the door" syndrome and what might really bring someone to seek help.

[00:04:49] – Contrasts binary and non-binary problems, introducing the role of the unconscious mind and defense mechanisms.

[00:05:28] – Introduction and explanation of some common defense mechanisms, like displacement (redirecting focus to a safer problem) and intellectualization.

[00:09:01] – Encouragement to give oneself grace, as not all problems are true problems—some are disguises or defenses.

Interested in learning more about psychodynamics, working with me as a trainer, coach, or supervisor, or joining upcoming events? Check the show notes for links and contact info.

Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode of The Dynamics of Everyday Life!

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

The Tears of a Clown

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life! In this episode, I explore the intricate ways we use humor as a defence mechanism, both consciously and unconsciously, to navigate challenging emotions and complex social situations.

I delve into how laughter and humor can serve as a protective layer, masking our true feelings or keeping others at a comfortable distance. I reference well-known figures like Robin Williams and Stephen Fry, discussing their public personas versus their private struggles with mental health

[00:00:45] – Discussion about people using humor to mask true feelings, featuring examples like Robin Williams and Stephen Fry.

[00:01:20] – I detail Stephen Fry's public struggle with depression and how it relates to the topic.

[00:03:04] – Explanation of Freud’s perspective on jokes and their psychological function, including "tendentious" vs. "innocent" jokes.

[00:04:24] – Humor as a defensive strategy, its benefits, and social rewards.

[00:05:04] – How humor can be used to cover shame, grief, and anger, with examples like sarcasm.

[00:05:44] – When humor misfires, and what that can reveal about underlying emotions or defense mechanisms.

[00:06:27] – Freud’s view of humor as both a "noble defence" and a potential sign of weakness depending on its use.

Thank you for tuning in! Don’t forget to subscribe and join me next time for more insightful explorations into the dynamics of your everyday life.

Looking to join the conversation or need extra support? Reach out to me via DM or email—links in the show notes.

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Don't you want me baby

Wed, 30 Jul 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I dive deep into the concept of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)—a term often discussed in relation to ADHD but not officially recognized in the DSM. I explore what RSD actually is, why so many people relate to the feelings it describes, and how our upbringing and internal dynamics (like the superego) might influence our reactions to perceived rejection.

With practical examples and a psychodynamic lens, I walk listeners through why these feelings can be so overwhelming, how our minds create catastrophic narratives, and the importance of building self-awareness as a first step towards managing these patterns. I also discusses common defence mechanisms like splitting, projection, and projective identification, and encourages listeners to explore their own experiences with a sense of self-compassion.

[00:0:58]

I note RSD isn’t in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) but is frequently discussed, especially in relation to ADHD.
I share examples of how people might experience RSD (ruminating after interactions, overthinking messages, etc.)

[00:03:41]

Discussion of psychodynamic perspectives: roots of RSD often trace to primary caregivers (possibly parents) who were critical or rejecting.
Introduction of Freud’s concept of the superego as the inner critical voice.

[00:05:23]

Defense mechanisms like splitting come into play; explains why we sometimes label others as "all bad" if we feel rejected.

[00:07:41]

Advice against making rash decisions when in a highly emotional state; try to ride out difficult feelings instead.

[00:08:22]

The value of talking to someone supportive—be that a coach, therapist, or trusted friend.

[00:09:12]

I share a personal anecdote about my friend Steve and how humour or distraction can help break the cycle.

[00:10:40]

Upcoming events: I announce a September webinar on defense mechanisms and pricing (for coaches), plus my Essential Psychodynamics course. I also share how listeners can get involved.

DM or email me for a chat about psychodynamics, coaching, supervision, or if you’re interested in upcoming events.

For more psychodynamic insights and fun, visit DynamicsOfEverydayLife.

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

All the world's a stage

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life. This episode I dive deep into the fascinating world of public scandals, social media judgments, and why we get so invested in the private lives of strangers. I explore the recent Coldplay "Jumbotron incident" and break down the psychological defense mechanisms—like projection and displacement—that drive our reactions.

[00:03:15] The Public’s Fascination and Psychodynamics:

I explore why people get so invested in public scandals.
I introduce the episode’s focus: examining the psychological dynamics at play for the audience, not the individuals involved.

[00:03:58] Projection and Splitting:

I explain "projection" as a defense mechanism—putting uncomfortable feelings onto others.
I discuss "splitting" of celebrities into 'good' or 'bad', using my own tennis anecdote (Stan Wawrinka vs. Holger Rune) as an example.

[00:06:31] Displacement:

I discuss "displacement"—moving uncomfortable feelings onto safer targets, such as celebrities.

Stay Connected:

Subscribe to The Dynamics of Everyday Life wherever you listen to podcasts.
Visit DynamicsOfEveryday Life for more resources and psychodynamic insights.

Thank you for tuning in—and remember, sometimes the urge to judge others says more about us than about them!

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

Wed, 16 Jul 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to the "Dynamics of Everyday Life"! This week, I dig into those challenging moments when we start to question ourselves, second-guess our decisions, or even wonder if we’re “the problem” in tricky situations. Inspired in part by the famous Taylor Swift lyric, I explore how we can find ourselves carrying feelings or responsibilities that aren’t actually ours—often without realising it.

00:01:39 – Giving Away Your Power

Explains the concept of giving away your power and introduces projective identification—a defense mechanism at play in these dynamics.

00:02:24 – What is Projective Identification?

Recap of projective identification: splitting off unwanted feelings (guilt, anger, shame, incompetence) and “pushing” them onto others.
Two possible outcomes: either refusing to take it on, or internalizing those projected feelings.

00:03:45 – Impact of Projective Identification

How it blurs boundaries, fosters doubt, and makes us feel like the bad guy without clear reason.

00:04:37 – How to Spot It

Key signs: sudden, disproportionate emotions after interactions; second-guessing behavior you’re usually comfortable with; feeling unduly responsible for someone else’s state.
Emphasis on checking if these feelings follow certain conversations or are truly your own.

00:05:40 – What to Do About It

Pause and question: Is this feeling really yours?
Don’t immediately throw projected feelings back at the other person—contain and examine them first.
If possible, name it for what it is: often, “this could be someone else’s stuff, not mine.”

00:06:42 – Getting Support & Invitations

When it’s difficult to untangle alone, check in with a supportive friend or confidante who’ll be honest with you.
Recognizes sometimes it’s “your stuff, their stuff, or a mix of both.”

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Let's Go Round Again

Wed, 09 Jul 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to the Dynamics of Everyday Life! In this episode, I dive into the curious and sometimes frustrating topic of why we tend to repeat the same patterns in life—whether it’s relationships, emotional reactions, work situations, or even the music stuck in our heads. The episode kicks off with a fun, nostalgic riff on late-80s pop classics and a little ChatGPT memory mishap, before moving onto the more serious (and relatable) reasons why we go round and round on the same merry-go-round in life.

00:03:06 – Patterns in Literature & Life

Discusses the repetition of patterns in books and generational cycles, spotlighting Wuthering Heights as an example.
Examines how repetition provides identity and purpose for some characters, like Heathcliff.

00:04:09 – The Psychodynamics of Repetition

Introduces Freud’s theories: unconscious drives, familiarity of pain, and the “death drive” (Thanatos).
Explains the brain’s preference for what’s familiar and safe, even if it’s not pleasurable.

00:05:45 – Thanatos vs. Thanos

Brief Marvel detour: clarifies Freud’s “Thanatos” is not the same as the Marvel villain Thanos.
Addresses the philosophical aspects of repetition and why true change is difficult.

00:06:18 – Why Repetition is So Hard to Break

Explores the complexity and challenge of breaking out of repetitive cycles.
Offers prompts for listeners to reflect on their own repeating patterns and feelings of safety or unfinished

Thank you for tuning in! Remember, change takes time—be kind to yourself as you explore the patterns in your own life.

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

There’s a Hole in My Bucket, Dear Liza

Wed, 02 Jul 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this week's episode I explore the psychological dynamics underlying the classic song “There’s a Hole in My Bucket,” using it as a metaphor for certain patterns in narcissism and codependent relationships. I delve into how these patterns manifest in everyday life, how they can be exhausting for those involved, and why being aware of these dynamics is essential for personal growth.

02:39 – Introducing Narcissism

04:05 – Narcissism as Defense Mechanism

05:33 – Misconceptions & Spectrum of Narcissism

07:13 – Relationship Evaluation & Personal Reflection

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Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Lunch with Pam and Derek

Wed, 25 Jun 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to another episode of The Dynamics of Everyday Life. In this episode, I dive into the question: Why do we keep going out for lunch (or coffee, or dinners) with people we don’t actually want to spend time with?

I share a personal story inspired by my parents’ obligatory lunches with “Pam and Derek”—people who aren’t truly friends but whom social obligation keeps pulling back into their orbit. Does this sound familiar?

01:53 Why Do We Spend Time With People We Don’t Want To?

03:27 The Psychodynamic Angle – Why Is It So Hard to Say No?

05:27 Why Do We Repeat These Patterns? (Repetition Compulsion)

07:33 When Obligation is Not Really Necessary

If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe and share with a friend who might need a little help setting healthy boundaries!

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Not my cup of Kool-Aid

Wed, 18 Jun 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I reflect on my recent experience attending a marketing conference that left me feeling out of step with the crowd. From travel hassles and parental guilt to high expectations for expert wisdom and less-than-inspiring content, I share my candid thoughts on group dynamics, FOMO, and the pressure to fit in. Are you doing things just because everyone else is? Or are you tuning in to what’s truly right for you?

Along the way, I dive into psychological concepts like Freud’s group theory, the tendency to go along with the crowd, and the personal liberation that comes from realising not every trend or event is meant for us. I encourage listeners to examine where they might be following the group without questioning whether it aligns with their own desires and values.

05:50 — Reflecting on Group Dynamics

07:01 — Group Influence & Freud’s Theory

07:48 — Conference Marketing Tactics & FOMO

08:47 — Post-Event Clarity & Accepting Individual Preference

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Not that Alan Cumming

Wed, 11 Jun 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I share a humorous and deeply personal story about my eye surgery and a surprising case of mistaken identity at my local hospital’s "Alan Cumming Day Unit." Expect reflections on anxiety, the power of imagination, and how we often use humour as a defense mechanism in stressful situations. I unpack the psychodynamic elements at play and invite listeners to consider how comedy might be serving a protective role in their own lives.

00:00:56 I reflect on my past vision issues and the process of dealing with my eye condition, mentioning the initial diagnosis and how things changed when my daughter saw an optometrist.

00:01:38 My daughter’s optometrist encourages me to revisit my own diagnosis with subsequent NHS medical processes, including pretests and reassurance from consultants.

00:02:37 Arriving at the day surgery unit, sharing my curiosity about the Alan Cumming Day Unit and speculating about its connection to the celebrity Alan Cumming.

00:04:17 Humorously recounts my conversation with a nurse who clarifies that the day unit is named after a former mayor, not the actor, and describes how this disappointment distracted me from pre-surgery anxiety.

00:07:21 Reflects on using humor as a defense mechanism, inviting listeners to consider where they may do the same, and describing how this can be unconscious.

Stay connected:

Don’t forget to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts! For more psychodynamic insights and resources, visit dynamicsofeveryday.life.

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

A bad workman blames his tools

Wed, 04 Jun 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Ever catch yourself blaming external factors when things don’t go as planned? In this episode, I share a real-life story of getting my floor redone—and how it turned into a lesson about responsibility, defense mechanisms, and the classic saying, “a bad workman blames his tools.” We dive into how projecting blame can affect not just us, but our relationships too, and why taking ownership is so empowering. If you’re ready to stop pointing fingers and start leveling up—this episode is for you. Check out the resource sheet linked in the show notes for more ways to build your self-awareness and become a better you!

00:00 Floor Replacement Drama

05:06 Rationalization in Defense Mechanisms

08:30 Self-Reflection and Accountability

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Dance with me tonight

Wed, 28 May 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life, where we dive deep into the big and small moments that shape our everyday lives. In this episode, "Dance with me tonight," I take you on a journey from the excitement of live concerts to the quieter anxieties that sometimes hold us back—even when we’re eager to join in the fun.

I share my recent adventure taking her son to see Olly Murs at the O2, I reflect on why so many of us hesitate to let loose and dance, even when we really want to. Using real-life experiences and a bit of Freud, they explore the concept of "moral anxiety" and how our internalized fear of judgment keeps us from fully engaging in experiences we’ve chosen for ourselves.

With practical insights into the psychology of holding ourselves back, and a gentle invitation to notice where you might not be "dancing" in your own life, this episode is all about learning to loosen the grip of self-consciousness and live a little more freely. So whether you’re a concert goer, a dance floor dodger, or just someone curious about what makes us tick, you won’t want to miss this thoughtful, playful conversation.

00:00 Concert Night at the O2

03:57 Dancing Uninhibited: Overcoming Social Restraints

08:45 "Dance Beyond Fear"

10:13 "Connect With Psychodynamic Expert"

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Conversations about writing

Wed, 21 May 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Today I’m delighted to welcome another guest to the show, Vicky Quinn Fraser. Vicky is the MicroBook Magician. She knows the ideas hiding in your head deserve their own space between their own covers on their very own bookshelf — and she understands how to drag, coax, and tweezer those ideas out and into the story only you could tell.

She’s the creator of MicroBook Magic, author of 4 books, ghostwriter of dozens, and shepherd to multiple dozens of other people’s beautiful books. When she’s not writing or coaching, she can be found dangling from a trapeze or peering at beetles in the undergrowth.

You can find her on LinkedIn at Vicky Quinn Fraser and sign up to her (highly recommended!) email list here: https://moxiebooks.co.uk/freebies/

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.46) The main blockers to writing a book

(4.45) I don’t know enough to write a book

(8.50) Who writes most of the books out there

(12.53) The importance of stories

(17.40) Going off at tangents

(27.05) Tips for writing a book

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

You can do more than the step around

Wed, 14 May 2025 00:15:00 +0100

We often find inspiration when we are away from our desks and this week’s episode is no exception. I’ve taken up a new hobby to help with my confidence and, in the words of Julie Andrews, “start at the very beginning, it’s a very good place to start”. And it was during a practice session that my teacher said something that stopped me in my tracks.

We all have belief patterns that keep us safe and tell us we are only capable of so much. But this really isn’t true. Sometimes we need someone to hold up a mirror to what we can achieve. Join me as I explore what might be going on from a psychodynamic perspective, and Matteo and Stan might pop up to help us too.

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(1.06) Learning new things

(2.02) The step around

(5.40) Defence mechanisms coming out to play

(6.12) Validation and permission

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

He'll be disappointed with that

Wed, 07 May 2025 00:15:00 +0100

“Lovely weather we are having”. We love to point out to other people what we are all experiencing. It isn’t just the weather that we state the obvious about. Anything is up for grabs in our bid to communicate.

Why do we state the obvious? Are we even aware that we are doing this? In this episode I explore what might be happening for us when we communicate this way, using the metaphor of tennis commentary. There’s a few of the greats that we meet along the way.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(0.30) The arrival of the tennis season

(1.53) Martina Navratilova

(3.38) Stating the obvious

(4.25) Anxiety

(6.20) Learning and constructive criticism

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Why do I put off doing my tax return?

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Procrastination. It’s something we all find ourselves up against. But what if it’s more than being lazy or wanting to avoid something? In this episode I explore what might be going on for us when we drag our feet.

Don’t be put off by the title. I do talk about my tax return, but to help us understand why we might be tripping ourselves up, not in a way that’s going to send you to sleep – or at least I hope not!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(0.25) Procrastination

(1.38) How you do anything is how you do everything, or not

(3.21) The repetition compulsion

(6.48) Asking for what we need

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

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Bye Bye Feliciano

Wed, 23 Apr 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Do we always know what makes us happy? Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don’t. And sometimes our defence mechanisms can cause us to cut our noses off to spite our faces.

If you’ve ever dug your heels in when a friend or relative has given you an opinion that you know is probably true, but you don’t want to think about, then this episode is for you.

Here are the highlights of this episode

(1.40) Training lorry drivers

(2.20) Being competent doesn’t necessarily make you happy

(4.11) Man with the hat

(6.08) Sometimes we don’t know what’s making us unhappy

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

A Delayed Eurostar

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 00:15:00 +0100

How many times have you been annoyed by other passengers getting in your way? Possibly more than you would like to admit? It happens to all of us and can have an impact on how we move forward, both literally and metaphorically. In this episode I explore what’s going on for us in these situations and how we can get some control back.

You’ll be pleased to know that we are back in some familiar psychodynamic territory, transference and our old friends denial and rationalisation come out to play. Just in time for us to have a think about before our summer holidays.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(3.06) Disruptive passengers in life

(6.00) Defence mechanisms and boundaries

(9.11) Moving forward and setting boundaries

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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Conversations about Autism

Wed, 09 Apr 2025 00:15:00 +0100

What is it like to be a parent of a child with autism? Whilst there is a lot more information out there than there used to be, it still can be quite a lonely place for parents. In this episode I’m talking to fellow SEN parent, Del Parsons, about what we have learnt along the way and why we are best placed to advocate for our children.

Del is ‘The No-Nonsense Business Coach and Marketing Mentor’ who’s on a mission to give business owners and founders the skills, confidence and self-belief to market their business and sell their stuff in a way that feels good for them!

As well as being a coach and mentor Del also has a property portfolio and is part of an aviation business which she runs with her husband. She’s built businesses with 8 figure revenues for herself, as well as for clients, so can apply the lessons learnt across the board.

You can get in touch with Del at:

Website: Delparsonscoaching.co.uk

Email: info@delparsonscoaching.co.uk

LinkedIn: Del Parsons

Instagram: Delparsonscoaching

Facebook: Del Parsons

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(5.30) Relief at diagnosis

(10.35) The assumptions people make

(15.15) You know your child

(21.24) A bit of controversy

(34.10) Advocate for your child

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Conversations about Control

Wed, 02 Apr 2025 00:15:00 +0100

I’m delighted to be welcoming another guest to the show today, fellow coach Kate Adey. We discuss what it means to be in control, how much control we do have and what role anxiety plays for us. Join us as we explore the narratives we construct for ourselves and how we can reframe our stories.

Kate works with leaders in professional services navigating the challenges of a busy career and home life, helping them reconnect with the freedom and flow of their true nature. You can connect with kate either via LinkedIn (linkedin.com/in/kateadey) or via email (Kate@kateadey.co.uk).

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(4.23) Beyond our limitations

(7.58) The illusion of not having control

(11.41) Byron Katie

(20.51) The link between anxiety and control

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Conversations About Learning

Wed, 26 Mar 2025 00:15:00 +0100

I’m delighted to be bringing another guest to the show today, Penny Hopkinson. Penny is an Operations Manual specialist and author of Manual Magic. Join us as we delve into the world of learning and discover why it’s changed so much over the generations.

Here’s how you can get in touch with Penny:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pennyhopkinson

Everything under one ‘roof': www.linktr.ee/pennyhopkinson

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(2.22) 30% of global workforce under 30

(8.21) The single source of truth

(10.31) Five generations under one workplace

(30.01) The importance of consistency

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Conversations about Kindness

Wed, 19 Mar 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Today I’m welcoming another guest to the show, Simon Bennett. Simon is a friend of mine, a fellow coach and is keen to bring the concept of kindness to our attention.

Simon’s coaching practice builds on his experience of leading teams in high pressure organisations. He is passionate about working with leaders to best navigate the challenges and opportunities of the modern working world.

Simon shares a home in London with his husband, and teaches Aikido, a Japanese martial art. Simon is an Affiliate member of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council.

Simon would love to hear any thoughts or feedback on the podcast, or any enquiries about working together in coaching. You can learn more about his work at www.sbennett.uk and email him at simon@sbennett.uk

Join us as we delve into what kindness means at home and at work, and how we can be more kind to ourselves and others.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(5.16) Trying to fix the world to fix yourself

(10.14) Boundaries

(12.20) Authority structures

(14.35) Kindness in the workplace

(19.40) Everyone deserves to prioritise kindness for themselves

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

The Birthday Episode

Wed, 12 Mar 2025 00:15:00 +0100

This week’s episode marks a special occasion—both my birthday and the podcast’s one-year anniversary! We’re exploring the dynamics of birthdays: what they mean to us, the expectations we place on them, and how they reveal our deeper unconscious patterns. Freud wasn’t a fan of birthdays (except for the gifts!), and that got me thinking; how do we truly feel about getting older?

Plus, I share some reflections on personal growth, the stories we tell ourselves, and why birthdays can be a great moment to check in with where we are in life.

I’m launching a new course, Psychodynamics for Beginners! Initially designed for coaches, but soon to be available for anyone curious about how psychodynamic theory can help them make better choices in their everyday lives. Click here for more info:

https://mailchi.mp/5344a338c710/psychodynamics-for-beginners

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(0.34) How Freud felt about birthdays

(2.40) Bridget Jones

(3.07) Are we where we want to be?

(6.21) How other people respond to our birthdays

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

The Power of Silence

Wed, 05 Mar 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Why does silence make us uncomfortable? We’ve all been in those moments where the quiet stretches just a little too long, and we feel the need to fill it. But what if silence isn’t empty at all? What if it’s one of the most powerful tools we have?

In this episode, we explore the impact of silence, when it serves us, when it doesn’t, and how to use it to our advantage. We’ll also learn what Freud thought about it, why my son used it as a form of protest, and how silence can be both a gift and a weapon.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(0.56) The paradox of silence on a podcast

(1.17) What I thought good listening was

(1.51) Silence as a response

(3.37) The silent treatment

(4.15) Freud’s take on silence

(6.49) It’s always about the other person

New Training Course: Psychodynamics for Beginners

I’m launching a new course designed to make psychodynamic theory accessible—so we’re not just relying on social media soundbites to understand ourselves. Initially aimed at coaches, but soon available to a wider audience. If you’re interested, subscribe to my newsletter or book a chat with me for more details.

https://calendly.com/dynamicseverydaylife/30min

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

The Power of a Pair of Boots

Wed, 26 Feb 2025 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story about how my confidence took a hit, how I unknowingly held myself back, and what ultimately helped me rebuild my sense of self. Spoiler alert: it involves pole dancing, platform boots, and a whole lot of fun!

We’ll have a look at how our defence mechanisms get in our way and how they can subtly keep us stuck. Plus, I’ll invite you to reflect on where you might be self-sabotaging and what small (or big!) steps you can take to reclaim your confidence and joy.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.40) The moment I realised my confidence had taken a knock

(2.10) The surprising impact of stepping out of my comfort zone (hello, pole dancing!)

(5.03) Building ourselves back up from adversity

(6.09) Why we can get over busy at times

My invitation for you to consider this week is where in your life are you holding yourself back? What stories are keeping you stuck? I encourage you to explore what’s stopping you and to take one step, big or small, towards moving forwards.

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review. I’d love to hear what your ‘fabulous boots’ moment looks like!

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Why Are You Telling Me This?

Wed, 19 Feb 2025 00:15:00 +0100

How often have you found yourself mid-story, only to realise you’ve completely lost track of the point you were trying to make? You’re not alone. Sometimes, our words take on a life of their own, and there’s usually something deeper going on beneath the surface.

In this episode, I take a look at why I (and maybe you, too) sometimes talk in circles, what this has to do with defence mechanisms, and the unexpected realisation I had during a discovery call. We’ll also touch on why excitement isn’t always excitement and how a simple question stopped me in my tracks.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(0.27) Why do we verbally process?

(1.27) FOMO and panic

(3.15) The desire to connect

(5.32) The unexpected fear behind my excitement

(6.49) Denial and the link to reaction formation

Looking at ourselves at this level can feel unsettling, so take your time with it. And if you’d like extra support, I’ve put together a resource sheet to help. You’ll find the link below.

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Conversations about grief

Wed, 12 Feb 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Today I’m delighted to welcome Gwenne Dickson, spiritual empowerment coach, to the show. Gwenne and I are tackling a subject that all of us will experience and yet so many of us find difficult; and that’s grief. Join us as we talk about what we find surprising about the grieving process and how we can support each other during these times.

You can contact Gwenne at:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livingyourbestlifegwenne

https://www.facebook.com/groups/35568229478

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/livingyourbestlife888/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gwenne-dickson/

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(4.40) Connecting with our higher selves

(8.20) Making meanings out of things

(10.20) Keeping a lot to ourselves

(16.20) The unexpected things

(20.40) Not allowing ourselves to move on

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

It was the shoes that killed me

Wed, 05 Feb 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Why do we wear shoes that hurt our feet? We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve known that our choice of footwear isn’t ideal, but we love how our shoes make us look and feel, so put up with the pain. Is this the only area of our lives that we do this, or can we see this elsewhere?

In this episode we explore what might be going on for us when we put on shoes (metaphorical or otherwise) that pinch our feet. We’ll also learn what Marilyn Monroe thinks and why I don’t travel in heels anymore.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.50) Travelling in heels

(3.36) Marilyn Monroe

(4.59) Denial

(5.10) Repression

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Netflix is not a family

Wed, 29 Jan 2025 00:15:00 +0100

It’s been famously said by Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix, that Netflix is not a family. And work is not a family - unless of course you are the Carringtons in Dynasty or the Ewings in Dallas. However, are there some elements of family dynamics that get played out in our work environments?

In this episode we explore the phenomena of being drawn into work scenarios that remind us of our family of origin. We find out why we might want to shove some people off Waltons Mountain, how I agree with my mother-in-law and if we are going back to the DIY store for milk. And Barry from accounts makes a welcome return.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.12) Who are we trying to convince?

(3.47) Being part of a system

(5.16) Sibling rivalry

(6.19) Transference

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

What happens after the fairy tale ending?

Wed, 22 Jan 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Life isn’t a fairy tale, yet we might have some fairy tale moments throughout our lives. What happens when we reach the conclusion of the fairy tale? Are we skipping off into the sunset or are we left with a mixed bag of conflicting and complex feelings not knowing what might be going on for us?

In this episode we explore some of the less talked about emotions that we experience once the fairy tale has ended. We’ll be staring anxiety in the face and exploring why guilt can be a stepping stone into the defence mechanisms. And Dorothy Parker also pops up amongst the fairy tale characters to help us make sense of our feelings. I bet that’s something she never thought she would be doing…

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(3.09) Do Cinderella and Prince Charming live happily ever after?

(3.30) Anxiety

(3.51) Guilt

(6.54) Questioning our own identity

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

The Post Break Up Haircut

Wed, 15 Jan 2025 00:15:00 +0100

Most of us will have had the post break up haircut, or equivalent. That response to an event that has made us decide that something needs to change as we are no longer that person anymore. But why do we do this? Are we avoiding thinking about something that could actually help us move forward?

In this episode we explore what might be going on for us as we reach for the scissors, or throw out all our clothes. We’ll look at what defence mechanisms could be getting in our way and why we are feeling anxious. And why was I trying to look like a kids tv presenter?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.23) Why do we decide on a post break up haircut?

(4.38) Denial

(6.04) Rationalisation

(6.44) Sublimation

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

How was it for you?

Wed, 08 Jan 2025 00:15:00 +0100

It’s tempting to think that we should always be moving forward, that we must forever be making progress, no matter how slowly. And there is a lot of truth in that. Our defence mechanisms can tempt us to avoid looking at our behaviour with the promise that by continuing to move forward we will get to the promised land – whatever that might look like for us.

In this episode I’ll be inviting you to consider what defence mechanisms might have come out to play for you over the festive period and what they might be telling you. Roland Rat, Tufty the Squirrel (remember him?!) and A1 all join us along the way. What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.22) No “new year, new me”

(3.00) How did you feel when the OOO went on?

(4.24) Denial

(7.54) Regression

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

People will never forget how you made them feel

Wed, 18 Dec 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Why do we feel alive around some people and like we’ve been through the wringer when we are around others? What’s going on for us when some people lift us up and with others we can feel as if it’s they have dropped us from a great height? In this episode I’m exploring what’s going on from a psychodynamic perspective when we take on the energy of other people and consider ways that we can manage this so that we can feel better.

Along the way we’ll meet the Grinch, the Dementors from Harry Potter, James Bond and Stan Wawrinka. Now that would be a night out…

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.02) Feeling like the Grinch

(4.07) Recollections may vary

(5.12) Transference

(8.34) Projection

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

No one looks good in a mohair jumper

Wed, 11 Dec 2024 00:15:00 +0100

How do we feel when someone makes a comment about us? There are probably times when we can brush it off and not think about it again, and there are others where we end up ruminating over it for days afterwards. But what’s going on in the making of these comments? Are they just as innocuous as the person who made them (possibly) believes? Or is there something deeper at play here?

In this episode I put these comments under the psychodynamic spotlight to see if we can understand what is happening. We take a trip to Waltons’ mountain and learn why these days I’m more likely to be wearing glittery leggings instead of neon fruit print ones. What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.06) The mohair jumper scenario

(4.02) Defence mechanism bingo

(8.43) Awareness is key

(10.40) Setting boundaries

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Don't expect a 10 in week 1

Wed, 04 Dec 2024 00:15:00 +0100

It’s an easy trap to fall into, thinking we should be brilliant at everything the minute we try it, and then berating ourselves when we aren’t. What’s happening for us when we set ourselves up in this way? What stories are we telling ourselves about where we think we should be?

In this episode I explore the psychodynamics behind the ‘comparisonitis’ and why we can create false narratives around our growth and achievements. We’ll take a trip through reality television shows and Anne Widdecombe will be dancing the light fantastic. What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(3.38) What imposter syndrome really means

(5.45) Conscious, preconscious and unconscious

(8.34) Projection and projective identification

(9.59) False expectations and ideals

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

The Smash Hits sticker theory

Wed, 27 Nov 2024 00:15:00 +0100

How do we make sense of our worlds? How do we understand what seems incomprehensible? It’s no surprise to discover that we will create stories and meanings for what happens to us, in order for us to make sense of our worlds. But why do we do this? And is it any good for us?

Find out what Freud has to do with a cotton wheel, learn why you might want to swap Nik Kershaw for Simon le Bon and discover why you will never find me in a trilby hat. There’s a lot going on.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.00) Creating meaning for ourselves

(6.24) What is going on here?

(7.25) The Fort/ Da game

(10.05) This week’s invitation

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Anyway, back to Ricky

Wed, 20 Nov 2024 00:15:00 +0100

There’s a million and one different things that distract us in our day to day lives. Just putting this episode together I had to ensure that my phone was away and I had done everything that I needed to before I sat down to work. Why do we do this? Is it just that we live in a very busy world, or could there be some psychodynamic concepts playing into all this?

Join me as I take a trip into the world of distraction, via the Champs-Élysées and my own coaching sessions. We’ll find out exactly who Ricky is, and why did I become Miss Piggy for a moment?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(4.20) Anna Freud

(5.20) Repression

(6.14) Displacement and Sublimation

(9.20) Reaction Formation

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

The last banana in Paris

Wed, 13 Nov 2024 00:15:00 +0100

What’s going on for us when we feel we need to hoover up all the food on the breakfast buffet? Are we being selfish or are there other things at play for us? In this episode I look at hoarding and what might be the psychodynamic reasons for us taking more than we actually need.

Join me as I discover that cabaret at breakfast never disappoints, there wasn’t a great banana shortage of 2024, and that Paddington Bear hard stares don’t work on everyone.

Here are this episode’s highlights:

(3.00) Why do people behave like this?

(3.50) Unconscious meanings

(6.00) Significant loss

(7.35) Compulsion to repeat

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Getting your career unstuck

Wed, 06 Nov 2024 00:15:00 +0100

I'm thrilled to welcome another guest to the show today, Rozalyn Willocks. Rozalyn is a Recruitment Director, career coach, mentor, and Amazon bestselling author of Get Your Career Unstuck. She’s here to discuss career transitions and to explore why many of us remain in unfulfilling jobs.

Join us as we discuss all things career related from considering what makes us stay in jobs that leave us unfulfilled to why we no longer have Terry and June style work trajectories.

If you'd like to connect with Rozalyn or learn more about her work, you can reach her here:

http://www.rozalynwillocks.com

contact@rozalynwillocks.com

Here are the highlights of the episode:

(5.15) Definition of success

(17.24) Rationalisation

(25.20) Workplace Stockholm syndrome

(31.45) Job satisfaction wheel

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Ghosting - A Halloween Special

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Just in time for Halloween I am bringing out a ghosting special. Ghosting is a particularly unkind and unfeeling way of treating people and can be extremely difficult to come to terms with. Not every ghost is friendly like Casper…

In this episode I’m exploring what ghosting is, why it happens and what we can do about it – whether we are the ones being ghosted, or even doing the ghosting ourselves. We’ve also got our old favourite the defence mechanism bingo cards, Maya Angelou and Scooby Doo. It’s a Halloween party not to be missed!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.43) What is ghosting?

(2.29) Why do people ghost?

(6.38) What to do if you’ve been ghosted.

(8.50) What should you do if you are tempted to ghost someone?

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark

Wed, 23 Oct 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Freud found a huge amount of inspiration in Shakespeare’s works – so if it’s good enough for him, it’s definitely good enough for me. This time we are delving into Hamlet to see what we can learn about narcissism. This definitely won’t be the first time we use Hamlet as a reference point, as there’s so much in there!

In this episode I explore why we might not challenge the fact that there is something rotten in the state of Denmark, how we can end up inadvertently supporting this and what can we do about it. We might even get to discover a different defence mechanism.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.45) Hamlet’s narcissism

(5.36) Moralisation

(7.10) Why do we follow the narcissist?

(8.01) Where have you been adding to Denmark’s rotten state?

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

I can see a church by daylight

Wed, 16 Oct 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Can we always see what is right in front of us? We might like to tell ourselves that we can, but this is not necessarily always the case. Despite what we might like to believe.

In this episode I explore why we might be avoiding what is staring us right in the face. We’ll need our defence mechanism bingo cards again and we’ll be meeting Barry from accounts, Micky Flanagan and James Bond along the way. Have a listen and avoid the cancel culture!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.40) Defence mechanism bingo cards

(2.04) Repression

(5.39) Projection

(7.30) Undoing

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Flying Monkeys

Wed, 09 Oct 2024 00:15:00 +0100

What does the Wizard of Oz and psychological ideas have in common? Well, quite a bit – as long-time listeners of the show will be aware. How can we learn about ourselves and others by thinking about Dorothy and her journey to the emerald city?

In this episode I start my journey into understanding narcissism (there will be quite a few episodes!) and explore the well-known psychological concept of flying monkeys. As well as avoiding the monkeys swooping around us it’s also time to get out of defence mechanism bingo cards again.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.17) How to know if you are dealing with a flying monkey

(4.10) Why do we get dropped like a hot potato?

(5.37) Rationalisation

(7.10) Have you been a flying monkey?

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Saying no to tick box training

Wed, 02 Oct 2024 00:15:00 +0100

How many times have you been sent on training at work only to spend your time wishing you were anywhere else and panicking about the to do list that’s mounting up whilst you are away from your desk?

In this week’s episode I talk to Sam Lancashire, founder of Creating Lightbulb Moments about her mission to rid the world of tick box training. Join us as we discuss the worst types of training that we have been on, what it means to be voluntold to attend courses and why rehearsing is better than role playing.

Sam is a high performing creative learning leader, mental health first aider and best-selling author on a mission to rid the world of low impact, tick box training, passionate about using her knowledge and experience to facilitate ‘Lightbulb Moments’ for people in need of a breakthrough - for many different reasons. Sam also focuses on productivity and mindset as part of her Sales & Leadership Development Practice. She is a Fellow of the Learning & Performance Institute, a qualified coach, trainer and experienced mentor; supporting global teams and their leaders to impact business and personal performance for over 18 years.

You can get in touch with Sam at:

Linkedin: Samantha Lancashire FLPI

Instagram: Creating Lightbulb Moments

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(3.50) How do you want your team to feel on training?

(12.19) Olympians

(24.00) Withdrawing from training

(35.45) How leaders and managers can get involved

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

A decision too far?

Wed, 25 Sep 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Why is it that on some days we find it easy to make decisions and on others we struggle to think what to eat for dinner? Some choices might be incredibly simple, and others leave us baffled about what to do for what seems like hours. And why does the chocolate at the supermarket till seem to speak to us more insistently than in other places?

In this episode I explore what might be going on for us when we are finding ourselves overwhelmed with the decisions we need to make and what we can do about this. We also discover when the best time is for me to be making matchstick models and learn why you might be getting socks from me at Christmas.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.39) Decision fatigue is different from mental fatigue

(3.24) The id, ego and superego

(4.25) Ego depletion

(7.41) Decisions with far reaching impact

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Why do I invest in scenarios too quickly?

Wed, 18 Sep 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Why do we find ourselves getting attached to scenarios more quickly than is helpful to us? This can be an incredibly common experience for a lot of people and one that can cause us a lot of stress and of worry. We can also feel like it’s only us that this happens to.

In this episode I explore what might be going on for us when we are getting invested in situations and what we can do about this. We also take a trip to Monte Carlo (if only!) and see what Marilyn Monroe has to say about the subject.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.23) Unmet needs

(2.54) Defence mechanism bingo

(5.12) A constant state of lack

(5.52) Love bombing

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

How do I choose who to listen to?

Wed, 11 Sep 2024 00:15:00 +0100

With so much noise in both our virtual and our real worlds how do we know who we should be listening to? Should we block it all out and listen to ourselves, or can we work out where to go to for a sounding board?

In this episode I explore why just listening to ourselves might not be the most helpful thing to do. We return to our defence mechanism bingo cards, whilst saying hello to Marjory the trash heap and Roger Moore. I also seem to be fighting with my brother… What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.42) Wilful blindness

(5.52) Is it lovely to be told what to do?

(7.41) Does everyone have your best interests at heart?

(9.06) Who is on your team?

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

The Quiet Catalyst

Wed, 04 Sep 2024 00:15:00 +0100

I’m excited to be bringing another guest to the show today, Sarah Manley. Sarah is a coach, mentor and an Amazon bestselling author with her book Quiet Catalyst.

Sarah joins me to talk all things related to being an introvert including where we sit on the introversion/ extroversion spectrum, and how we can thrive in our relationships with other people, and at work once we have an idea what our needs are. We also consider what psychodynamic mechanisms might be coming into play and Sarah shares some tips on to how to look after ourselves better.

If you would like to get in touch with Sarah and learn more about her work you can contact her here:

Website: https://linktr.ee/thequietcatalyst

Email: Sarah@thequietcatalyst.com

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(9.45) The assumption that people who are quiet in meetings have nothing to say

(15.25) The introversion/ extroversion continuum

(21.45) Managing boundaries around networking

(28.10) Listening skills as an introvert

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Resilience in the face of adversity

Wed, 28 Aug 2024 00:15:00 +0100

I’m excited to be bringing another guest to the show today, Marta Checko. Marta has an inspiring story (or stories!) to tell about how she overcame significant challenges in her life. There’s a lot to learn about resilience, the power of not giving up and how we are stronger than we think.

If you would like to get in touch with Marta and learn more about her work you can contact her here:

E-mail: hi@martachecko.com

List of Marta’s creative projects and ways to support others: Linktree

Blog where Marta shares her thoughts and reflections: Substack

LinkedIn/Instagram: @martachecko

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(4.37) Marta’s first challenge

(10.18) Days of fighting with our inner selves

(18.49) Marta’s second challenge

(25.40) Taking a minute to breath

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Neurodiversity in the workplace

Wed, 21 Aug 2024 00:15:00 +0100

I’m delighted to welcome Tamzin Hall, neurodiversity champion and founder of The Neurodiversity Academy to the show today. Tamzin is a leading neurodiversity consultant, trainer, and coach. She is a proud dyslexic and a #1 best-selling author. With decades of experience in leadership, learning and development, a Level 7 qualification in Coaching and Mentoring, and PCC certification, Tamzin helps leaders understand and support their neurodivergent staff. She assists businesses in creating inclusive practices that empower neurodivergent employees, ensuring they feel valued and accepted.

Join us as we talk about how to get it right when considering neurodivergence in the workplace, and how psychodynamics can help us understand our part in building strong relationships.

You connect with Tamzin and learn more about her work at:

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamzin-hall/

Website: https://www.theneurodiversityacademy.com/

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(6.20) Meeting in the middle

(16.10) Fear of getting it wrong

(19.20) Work for an organisation that is doing this right

(21.48) Having someone to go to who understands

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

We're all going on a summer holiday

Wed, 14 Aug 2024 00:15:00 +0100

We all love a summer holiday – or at least that’s what we are led to believe. But what if we don’t? In this episode we explore what might be going on for us if we are feeling a bit anxious whilst we pack the sun cream and our bikinis, ready for our trips to sunnier climes. Are we the only ones who feel this way? (Quick spoiler – fortunately we aren’t!).

There’s also Uncle Jonny fighting for some Christmas potatoes, and we’ll need our defence mechanism bingo cards again.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.14) Travel anxiety

(6.15) Regression

(7.27) Repression

(8.34) Projection

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

There are no shortcuts on the yellow brick road

Wed, 24 Jul 2024 00:15:00 +0100

The yellow brick road is a fabulous analogy of the different journeys in our lives. But how tempting could it be to take a short cut? We all have our own personal witches that we want to avoid, but would we even do this by cutting some corners?

In this episode I explore what might be going on for Dorothy and her friends as she makes her way to the emerald city. I introduce a different defence mechanism and share the motivation behind the name of the podcast. And James Bond seems to be queuing at the Hanger Lane gyratory system?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(0.36) Motivation for the name of the show

(3.38) Key points for there being no shortcut on the yellow brick road

(6.31) Denial

(7.18) Isolation

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Wed, 17 Jul 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Do we know why we do things? What can our reasons be? We have been told over the last few years that we should have “purpose” or know what our “why” is. Yet sometimes that’s not so easy to do. And how do we feel if we are the ones struggling to find out our “why” in a world that seems to respond best to those of us who seem to know?

Join me as I consider just what might be getting in the way of us finding out. Have your defence mechanism bingo card at the ready!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.25) Getting rid of the zeitgeist

(3.46) Identification

(5.19) Idealisation

(6.30) Displacement and sublimation

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Diane never looks up

Wed, 10 Jul 2024 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode I am exploring why we might be consciously – or unconsciously – avoiding looking in certain areas of our lives. It won’t surprise you to learn that we will be delving back into the world of defence mechanisms. What you might not be expecting is a nod to Melanie Klein, as well as our usual check in with Freud.

My mother’s home decor gets a mention too! Have a listen and see how this all comes together.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.45) What might be going on for us?

(2.28) Melanie Klein

(4.59) Repetition complusion

(6.50) Diane might be comfortable in her routine

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Sense and Sensibility

Wed, 03 Jul 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Following on from a previous episode on sibling rivalry I’m delighted to introduce my next guest to the show, Natasha Rose. As well as being an accomplished and celebrated businesswoman in a traditionally male industry (construction) Natasha is also a talented amateur actress.

Natasha is starring in an upcoming version of the Jane Austen classic, Sense and Sensibility, which highlights the challenges we all face when putting other people’s needs before our own. Austen’s Elinor and Marianne beautifully portray the family dynamics that can play out in these scenarios and the impact that these can have on how we feel. Natasha and I discuss what might be going on here, particularly for her character, Elinor. There’s also some defence mechanism spotting too.

To catch Natasha and the rest of the cast in this fabulous performance you can find out more and buy tickets at https://tolethorpe.co.uk.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(4.53) Say what you feel

(7.15) “I require so much”

(11.38) Defence mechanisms in overdrive

(12.35) Rationalisation

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Tomorrow never dies

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 00:15:00 +0100

We all know that feeling of “I’ll do it tomorrow” whilst being fully aware that we won’t do it tomorrow, or even the next day. Why do we do this to ourselves? Are we just making our lives harder for no reason?

In this episode as well as meeting our old friends rationalisation and denial we are also welcoming back the repetition compulsion. And James Bond and Stan Wawrinka get a mention too! What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.42) Procrastination makes us uncomfortable

(3.06) Rationalisation

(5.38) A false sense of tomorrow

(6.38) Repetition compulsion

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

What about Arabella?

Wed, 19 Jun 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Sibling rivalry isn’t just something that we leave at home, only to be brought out again at family events and Christmas. The way that we learn to be in the sibling dynamic can have a profound impact on how we relate to people as we grow and develop in life. Sibling rivalry can exist for only children too.

In this episode we are not just picking up our defence mechanism bingo cards again, we are having a think about Oedipus and the Murray brothers, whilst taking a trip to Cromer beach. It’s a packed show!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.14) What about Arabella?

(2.25) Sibling rivalry in our everyday lives

(3.18) The Oedipus Complex

(6.08) Defence mechanism bingo

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Why do we find it so hard to hold onto our power?

Wed, 12 Jun 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Power takes on many shapes and forms. There is the power wielded over us by those who govern us and those who hold an authoritarian role in our lives, and there is our own personal power. The power that is unique to us, and yet this is the one that we are often not in touch with or find it hard to hold on to.

In this episode we are picking up our defence mechanism bingo cards again and bringing Dick Dastardly and Matthew Hussey in to illustrate a couple of points. What’s not to enjoy?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.12) Projection

(4.43) “What do you want?”

(6.44) Projective Identification

(8.22) Dick Dastardly and Matthew Hussey

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

I never can say goodbye

Wed, 05 Jun 2024 00:15:00 +0100

There are many different reasons as to why we can’t leave a relationship, friendship or situation. And so many times we beat ourselves up for not being strong enough. Maybe we feel we lack confidence. But what if it’s actually our minds trying to protect us? What if it’s something that’s – ironically - trying to keep us safe?

In this week’s episode I consider what might be going on for us when this is happening, and how we can give ourselves some grace. And what song will be going round your head by the end of it? The Communards “I never can say goodbye”? Or will it be a Kylie classic?

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.40) A Kylie classic

(2.57) Anna Freud

(3.09) Denial

(4.46) Rationalisation

(6.11) Intellectualisation

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Is it ok to say that?

Wed, 29 May 2024 00:15:00 +0100

How often do we say something and then worry that we have said the wrong thing? Often we will then run this over and over in our minds, thinking about if we have upset other people or what we could have said instead. We can tie ourselves up in knots about a particular conversation or event, frequently catastrophising about what people now think about us or if we have damaged our friendship.

In this episode I explore why this universal tendency occurs, how we can become more aware of it and what we can do to help ourselves in this situation. We also have a moment on a plane with Charlton Heston too!

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.55) Anxiety neurosis

(3.36) Conversion hysteria

(5.16) Psychical working over

(6.21) Repetition compulsion

(6.51) Playing back responses from our earlier lives

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Our relationship with sleep

Wed, 22 May 2024 00:15:00 +0100

I’m excited to welcome my next guest to the show today; Dr Jill McGarry. Jill is a Clinical Psychologist with 28 years of NHS experience in psychological support for people with mental health issues. She has built up a wealth of knowledge and experience at improving sleep for several client groups, including setting up a reasonable adjustment sleep apnoea clinic for Greater Manchester. Currently Jill runs a private practice for improving sleep whilst working part time in the psychology department at Manchester’s NHS Sleep Service. Over the past two years Jill has carried out numerous sleep awareness courses for wellbeing teams in NHS trusts and ICBs; schools/ college forums; fitness/ yoga/mindfulness coaches; counselling organisations; medical staff; care and respite home managers; leadership and management coaches; private organisations (property developer and bakery); organisations with nightshift workers. Recently Jill has advised Baywater and NHS England on a project to develop materials for people with sleep apnoea and trained Clinical Psychologist and psychotherapists for Counselling Foundation, Take A Seat and in Dubai for PILL. Throughout this work Jill has supported many people who have had sleep problems as they go from exhausted to energised.

Jill and I are going to be talking about all things sleep related, and how this huge part of our lives can impact our health and our wellbeing – and how we feel about ourselves. We also touch on what might be going on for us unconsciously in our sleep, in our dreams. So sit back and enjoy, and hopefully look forward to some better nights’ sleep afterwards!

You can get in touch with Jill at:

info@sleepbetterdoctor.co.uk

www.sleepbetterdoctor.co.uk

LinkedIn: Dr Jill McGarry

mobile no: 07768068070

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(4.10) 1 Big B and 3 tiny Ts

(21.21) Timing when you have coffee

(29.36) Sleep debt

(30.20) The importance of naps

(36.34) Teenagers and sleep

(42.48) Dreams

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

No is a complete sentence

Wed, 15 May 2024 00:15:00 +0100

No is a small word, so we often think we need to add extra words after it, to make a complete sentence. But this just isn’t true. “No” is a sentence in itself. We often tie ourselves up in knots trying to explain our no, which defeats the point, as the clarity becomes diluted. In this episode I’m exploring why we often feel the need to justify our “no” and what we can do to stick to our decisions. There’s also a bit of a Bond theme running through this episode too – can you spot all of the references?

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(0.45) People pleasing

(1.29) Sean and Roger’s weekend plans

(4.16) Rationalisation

(6.20) Looking for chinks in the wall

(8.30) Invitation for this week

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Why am I putting on armour, if I'm not going into battle?

Wed, 08 May 2024 00:15:00 +0100

We all know the days when we take a deep breath and metaphorically put on our armour. It’s not fun. But why are we doing this? What’s happening when we feel like we need to defend ourselves against people, situations or the world in general? In this episode I’m exploring why we might be reaching for our shields and what steps we can take to learn how to look after ourselves better, so we aren’t dragging that armour around with us!

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(1.06) Freud or Jung?

(1.32) Freud and Defence

(5.15) Freud and Jung’s “bromance”

(6.02) Jung and the persona

(8.53) Invitation for this week

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Understanding Chronic Pain

Wed, 01 May 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Pain is something that all of us will go through at some point in our lives, and for some of us it will be chronic. However, this isn’t talked about very much and most people will rely on painkillers and what their healthcare provider tells them to do. This might work – and it might not, and can leave us feeling bewildered and alone in what steps to take next.

In today’s episode I welcome chronic pain expert, Narinder Sheena, to share her experience of living with and working through chronic pain. There’s lots to learn from Narinder’s story. She speaks with warmth and encouragement that chronic pain doesn’t have to be with us for life.

To connect with Narinder you can find her at www.mapcoach.co.uk and at Narinder Sheena on LinkedIn.

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(1.35) Freud’s concept of somatic compliance

(5.10) Having the belief in the power to heal yourself

(7.08) The brain needs to know what the problem is

(15.37) How to soothe your nervous system

(22.35) How do you bring yourself back?

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Don't go to the DIY store for milk

Wed, 24 Apr 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Don’t go to the DIY store for milk. Seems simple doesn’t it? If only it was as easy as it sounds. In this episode I’m exploring why we will often look to get our needs met in places and people that aren’t right for us, and the corresponding upset that this can cause. Fortunately we don’t have to be destined to stay on this roundabout forever. Have a listen and find out what’s happening when we are looking in the wrong place, and equally, what we can do about it.

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(1.21) Going to the DIY store for milk

(3.23) The ego and the defence mechanisms being activated

(5.54) Back at defence mechanism bingo

(6.50) How can we stop looking for our needs to be met in the wrong place?

(8.17) Metaphorically being back at the DIY store

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Oops, I did it again

Wed, 17 Apr 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Why do we do things over and over again, even though we tell ourselves that we are going to do things differently? Why is it so hard to make changes that we know we want to make? In this episode I dive into another of Freud’s concepts; the compulsion to repeat. By looking at the theory and applying it to what we are doing in our own lives we can start to get a bit more of that elusive control back. And there’s a nod to Cabaret and Depeche Mode too – what’s not to like?

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(1.30) Einstein’s definition of insanity

(3.18) Return of the repressed

(3.55) The reality principle

(5.11) The compulsion to repeat is a way of gaining mastery

(8.50) Let’s give ourselves some grace

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Why do I still feel like I'm being picked last for PE?

Wed, 10 Apr 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Today I’m thinking about a moment that many of us will have experienced and would most likely rather forget – that of being the last one to be picked for a team in our PE classes. It seems to be something that hasn’t been left behind, despite our best efforts. I’m interested in what the reasons for this might be. Why do we still worry about if we are going to be chosen by other people?

Here are the highlights for this episode:

(1.00) If our school days aren’t the best days of our lives it’s no bad thing

(2.35) Revisiting Freud’s Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego

(3.13) What part do you play in a group?

(5.46) Andy Murray at Wimbledon’s impact on a group

(7.40) What do we do about this?

(9.47) We don’t see us as other people see us

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Redundancy After 50 - with Tom Parkin

Wed, 03 Apr 2024 00:15:00 +0100

In this episode, we tackle the daunting topic of redundancy after 50, with my guest Tom Parkin, who shares his journey from a stable career to an unexpected redundancy at 51.

Tom's story is not just about the struggles, but also the resilience and value experience brings, offering hope and strategies for those in similar situations.

Join us as we uncover how an apparent setback can lead to new beginnings and affirm that life’s potential doesn’t diminish with age.

I’m really excited to share this episode, featuring my first-ever guest with you today.

Here are the highlights:

(2:24) Career, redundancy, and an unexpected turn of events

(7:06) Ageism in the workplace

(12:35) Career transition and COVID-19 impact

(16:46) Unemployment and job search challenges

(27:29) Returning to work after a long absence

(32:42) Career rediscovery and job search strategies

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

It’s Not You, It’s Me!

Wed, 27 Mar 2024 00:45:00 +0100

Are there people in your life that you struggle to get along with? Maybe you find yourself questioning who you are in the relationship.

There are many factors that can affect our friendships and in this episode I want us to look at one of the biggest ones, transference! I’ll help you understand why we project the things we don't like on other people and how we can manage this so that we get the best out of our relationships.

Here are the highlights

(01:18) Transference!

(03:52) How do we spot it?

(05:21) Examples of positive transference.

(06:41) The impact of transference.

(07:36) Things that we can do about it.

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

How Easy Is It To Make Friends Once We Have Left School?

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 00:45:00 +0100

School plays an important role in helping us find people with similar interests. It also provides us with enough time to build great friendships. But when it's over and we enter the real world, it can be challenging to find and maintain friends.

Today, we’re exploring ways to cultivate meaningful friendships as adults and how to identify potential obstacles.

Here are the highlights from this episode:

(02:24) Having a shared interest can really help.

(03:36) Repetition helps us feel safe.

(04:35) We have more power and choice over what we do.

(06:26) We have friends for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

(07:59) The expectations that we place on people.

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Remote Working - Is It Any Good For Us?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 00:45:00 +0100

Covid changed the world in many ways, including how we work.

Remote working has become popular but as much as it has its benefits, it also has its downsides. We’re spending more time in a virtual world which can affect our bodies and mind.

Today's episode will help get us to reflect on remote working and find out if it’s really good for us!

Here are the highlights from this episode:

(04:03) The risk of becoming completely isolated.

(04:31) People can make up stories and narratives about us.

(06:32) Denial can abound whilst we are working on our own.

(07:54) We have nowhere to leave our anxiety.

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Maintaining Relationships With Other People

Wed, 13 Mar 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life, where we delve into the art and science of maintaining relationships.

This episode shines a light on our very own defence mechanisms.

From the comfort of our everyday friendships, to the challenge of navigating stormy relational seas in metaphorical high heels and a bikini, we're exploring the common thread in all our relationships: ourselves.

Join us as we unpack how our unconscious mind, with all of its defence mechanisms, plays a pivotal role in either bridging or building barriers between us and others.

Ready to dive deep? Let's unravel the mysteries of our minds together.

Here are the highlights:

(1:24) Maintaining relationships and self-awareness

(2:18) Unconscious defence mechanisms in relationships

(5:59) Common psychological defence mechanisms

(7:28) Self-awareness and coping

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Who Are You Really?

Wed, 13 Mar 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome to episode one of The Dynamics of Everyday Life, where we’re diving into the world of the unconscious.

In this episode, we’re peeling back the layers of our identity, exploring the hidden drivers of our behaviours and reactions.

With a dash of humour and heaps of insights, we uncover the secrets Freud and Jung left behind, shedding light on how the unseen parts of our psyche shape our everyday lives.

Get ready to unravel the mysteries of the self.

Here are the highlights:

(1:05) Identity, emotions and psychology

(2:38) Freud's impact on psychology and societal views

(3:02) The conscious, preconscious and unconscious mind

(7:02) Unconscious mind's impact on behaviour and self-awareness

Connect with Julia:

Website

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Trailer

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 00:15:00 +0100

Welcome to The Dynamics of Everyday Life, where we're setting off on an incredible journey into the realm of psychodynamic theory with me, Julia Rogers.

I'm here to take the seemingly complex concepts of psychology and break them down into digestible, relatable bits that can apply to our daily lives.

Together, we'll uncover the mysteries of our inner selves, navigate the intricacies of human relationships, and discover the keys to personal happiness.

So, sit back, relax, and join us as we embark on this enlightening adventure.

Here are the highlights:

(0:02) Psychodynamic theory for self-awareness and happiness

(0:17) Getting to know ourselves

(0:38) Making the complicated, uncomplicated

(0:42) What you can expect

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.