The Love Doctor

Men and Sex - Why We Need to Rethink Manhood Feat. Destyn Land

Leah Tidey — Fri, 24 Jun 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m talking to the host of the Rethinking Manhood podcast, Destyn Land. Destyn and I discuss men and sex. Sounds simple but when you start to layer in shame, silence, and how by grade 3 you’re already comparing penis size–it gets a lot more complicated. I first saw Destyn’s work when a friend shared one of his posts on Instagram. It was a beautiful piece about men and how society has created this pressure to prove how “straight” you are. This could be by catcalling women or making homophobic comments. Destyn’s posts are always thoughtful, well researched and when I found out he had a podcast, I just had to listen.

Resources from the Show

Destyn Land: @destynforgreatness

Rethinking Manhood Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bQw3DWTRuCmlGXFvYrVya?si=c26149d4a7474d36

Instagram: @rethinkingmanhood

Boys and Sex by Peggy Orenstein: https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex

Euphoria on Crave

Heartstopper on Netflix and Comics

Bi-erasure definition: https://www.glaad.org/bisexual

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks

Why I Stopped Using Birth Control feat. Levi Hildebrand

Leah Tidey — Fri, 17 Jun 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I have brought back a crowd favourite—my husband, Levi Hildebrand. Levi and I talk about our experience of using Fertility Awareness Method over the past 8 months and the impact not being on birth control has had on our sex life. We also do a bit of a deep dive on masculinity and how just now Levi feels like he is choosing what that means for himself.

Resources from the show!

Levi Hildebrand Instagram: @levihildebrand

Levi and Leah YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LeviHildebrand

Boys and Sex by Peggy Orenstein: https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex

Come As You Are by Dr. Emily Nagoski : https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609341-come-as-you-are

Why I'm Seeing A Sex Therapist feat. Sarah Watson

Leah Tidey — Fri, 27 May 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I am answering your questions about opening up relationships and BDSM. But I’m not answering them alone. I am honoured to share my interview with Registered Clinical Counsellor, Sarah Watson, who helps me navigate your questions surrounding trauma and sexuality.

References from the Show!

Sarah Watson: https://sarahwatsontherapy.com/

Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel S.F. Heller: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9547888-attached

Polysecure by Jessica Fern: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52569124-polysecure

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Come-as-You-Are/Emily-Nagoski/9781476762111

Allura Website $50 webinars: Sex and Trauma : https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5b162a5675f9ee6cc62c56b5/t/61a68fc8cdbab21c1afb1d71/1638305736878/Sex+%2B+Trauma+Flyer.pdf

Self Harm Resources: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm

Sexual Configurations Theory: https://www.academia.edu/37691857/_SCT_Zine_Mapping_Your_Sexuality_From_Sexual_Orientation_to_Sexual_Configurations_Theory

Sue Johnson: A(ccessible)R(esponsive)E(ngaged) you there for me?

Debunking 5 Common Myths About Kink: https://www.slice.ca/sex-sessions-art-debunking-common-myths-about-kink/

5 Things Science Has Taught Us About BDSM: https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2021/8/16/5-things-science-has-taught-us-about-bdsm/

B.C.’s Capital City Leads the Country in Trans and Non-binary Representation:

https://www.coastmountainnews.com/news/b-c-s-capital-city-leads-the-country-in-trans-and-non-binary-representation/

What Does it Mean to Be a “Good Woman?” feat. Farzana Doctor

Leah Tidey — Sat, 14 May 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I am sharing my interview with Farzana Doctor where we talk about non-monogamy, what sexuality looks like in your 40s, and what it means to be a quote unquote “good woman.” We also discuss her new book that is a collection of poetry, You Still Look the Same. I particularly resonated with her poem Boundaries and I know it’s a topic a lot of folks have asked me about.

Resources from the Show!

Farzana Doctor: https://farzanadoctor.com/

You Still Look The Same Discount Code: use DOCTOR20 at check-out at https://freehand-books.com

Audiobook link: https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9781778520648

Seven Link: https://farzanadoctor.com/seven/

Interview with Farzana in Season 2: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-love-doctor/id1519672109?i=1000536137699

Burnout by Nagoski sisters: https://www.burnoutbook.net/

Internal Family Systems therapy: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy

Polysecure by Jessica Fern: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52569124-polysecure

Metamour definition: https://www.polydictionary.org/metamour/

Why High School Sex Ed Sucks Feat. Hannah Mariko Bell, Sophie Underwood, & Kiley Verbowski

Leah Tidey — Fri, 29 Apr 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, we are talking about what you missed in your high school sex education and how puppets may be the best way to talk about sex. In our first ever group interview on the podcast, I talk to Hannah Mariko Bell, Sophie Underwood, and Kiley Verbowski, about our experience co-creating the play Going All The Way. We talk about our own experiences with sex education and how creating art has helped us navigate our own sexual journeys.

Resources from the Show!

Going All The Way Tickets: skam.ca/going-all-the-way

Theatre SKAM: https://skam.ca/

What is Intersectionality? Kimberlé Crenshaw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViDtnfQ9FHc&ab_channel=NationalAssociationofIndependentSchools%28NAIS%29

Schitt's Creek Star Dan Levy on Playing Pansexual: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4IXXM0A6vg&ab_channel=LarryKing

Schitt's Creek Wine Analogy Scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrHYlJTqud0&ab_channel=RozCoreyClark

Japanese Fertility Festivals: https://allabout-japan.com/en/article/4349/

Why So Many Men Experience Erectile Dysfunction feat. Paul Nelson

Leah Tidey — Fri, 08 Apr 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, we are talking all about dicks. Like why is erectile dysfunction so common? Can you become dependent on Viagra? And can you still have sex after you ejaculate?

To help me answer your questions about dicks, I share my interview with sex therapist and clinical sexual health educator, Paul Nelson. Paul emphasizes that sexual health education should address the entire self and how for many cisgender men, they think it’s only about their dicks. We also talk about how common erectile dysfunction is and the work Paul does as part of Maze Men’s Health.

Resources from the Show!

Paul Nelson at Maze Men’s Health: https://www.mazemenshealth.com/

Instagram: @mazemenshealth

Frank Talk: Men Talking About Erectile Dysfunction: https://www.franktalk.org/

Maze Sexual and Reproductive Health: mazehealth.com

Minx T.V. Show: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11947418/

American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists: https://www.aasect.org/

Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein: https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex

The History of The Man Box: https://remakingmanhood.medium.com/the-history-of-the-man-box-e6eed6d895c4

International Index of Erectile Dysfunction: https://www.browardurologycenter.com/pdf/International-Index-of-Erectile-Function-IIEF-Questionnaire.pdf

The Psychology of Human Sexuality: https://nobaproject.com/modules/the-psychology-of-human-sexuality

The Sexual Medicine Society of North America: https://www.smsna.org/

Are Midwives Better Than Doctors? (And What Exactly is a Doula?) Feat. Simone Blais

Leah Tidey — Fri, 25 Mar 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I am talking about the Don’t Say Gay bill in Florida and why not talking about sexual orientation and gender identity is a bad idea for ALL kids, regardless of how they identify. I also share my interview with queer artist, sexual health educator, and doula, Simone Blais. Simone and I discuss the importance of peer to peer education, how we are constantly learning as educators ourselves, and she has basically convinced me that anyone who is wanting to have a child should have a doula. And there are ways to make that happen with support from our communities.

Resources from the Show!

Simone Blais: https://www.simone-blais.com/about

BEDucated link: http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor

Coupon Code: LOVEDOCTOR

Nesting Doula Collective: https://www.nestingdoulacollective.com/

Florida Legislature Passes “Don’t Say Gay” Bill to Restrict LGBTQ Topics in Elementary Schools: https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/florida-bassed-don-t-say-gay-bill-lgbtq-schools-1.6377169

What is the US State of Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” Bill? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/what-is-the-us-state-of-florida-e2-80-99s-so-called-e2-80-98don-e2-80-99t-say-gay-e2-80-99-bill/ar-AAVsjrA

Native Youth Sexual Health Network: https://www.nativeyouthsexualhealth.com/

Sexy Health Carnival: https://www.nativeyouthsexualhealth.com/sexy-health-carnival

Options for Sexual Health Sex Sense Line: 1-800-739-7367 https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/sex-sense/

Island Sexual Health Texting Line: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/

British Columbia Curriculum on Sexual Health: https://www.curriculum.gov.bc.ca/sites/curriculum.gov.bc.ca/files/curriculum/physical-health-education/en_physical-health-education_k-9.pdf

Is Polyamory Right For You? feat. Claire Travers

Leah Tidey — Fri, 11 Mar 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, we are talking all things polyamory. But hey, monogamous folks don’t feel like this isn’t also for you! Regardless of relationship orientation, we all have a lot to learn about communication, boundaries, and living authentically from the polyamory community and I have the perfect guest to guide us in this conversation.

I share my interview with polyamory expert, relationship anarchist, and one of the main faces of PolyPages, Claire Travers. Claire and I talk about whether or not polyamory is right for you–or rather, why are you questioning monogamy? We also dive into a very important question: is polyamory queer?

Resources from the Show!

www.polypages.org

Poly Pages (@polypages) • Instagram photos and videos

www.clairelouisetravers.co.uk

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Non-Monogamy by Jessica Fern

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52569124-polysecure

Amatonormativity: https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/

Sexual Configurations Theory Zine: Mapping Your Sexuality

https://www.academia.edu/37691857/_SCT_Zine_Mapping_Your_Sexuality_From_Sexual_Orientation_to_Sexual_Configurations_Theory

How To Get a Tinder Date (And Feel Good About It) feat. Chris Angel Murphy

Leah Tidey — Fri, 25 Feb 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m giving you my perspective on the Freedom Convoy (I’m so sorry, it’s a whole thing and I have received a ton of questions about it!) and answering your questions on how to not compare yourself to past lovers. It can be a real buzzkill in the bedroom if you’re like “oh, how did they do it? Am I doing it as well as them?!” I also share my interview with social worker, host of Allyship is a Verb podcast, and LGBTQ+ educator, Chris Angel Murphy. Chris Angel and I get vulnerable in this episode and also share advice on how not to be an asshole on dating apps.

Resources from the Show!

BEDucated Link: http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor

BEDucated Coupon code: LOVEDOCTOR

Chris Angel Murphy: https://www.chrisangelmurphy.com/

Instagram: @gendersexualityinfo

Allyship is a Verb Podcast: https://www.allyshipisaverb.com/

Sissy: A Coming-Of-Gender Story: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/40984365-sissy

Freedom Convoy Article: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/trucker-freedom-convoy-new-normal-1.6355574

Is This The Future of Birth Control? Fertility Awareness Method feat. Nathalie Daudet

Leah Tidey — Fri, 11 Feb 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m talking about what it’s like to come out as queer on YouTube (yup, I got some texts from the family!) and what it means for me to be queer and bisexual.

I also share my interview with Fertility Awareness Educator and host of the Fertility Awareness Project podcast, Nathalie Daudet. Nat is an inclusive FAM expert who shares how FAM works and guides people to decide if it’s the right choice for them.

Resources from the show!

Fertility Awareness Project: https://fertilityawarenessproject.ca

Nat’s FAM Instagram: @fertilityawarenessproject

FAM Fundamentals: https://fertilityawarenessproject.ca/fam-fundamentals

Read Your Body App: https://www.readyourbody.info/

Levi & Leah: 6 Things I Wish I Knew In My 20s: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBfXpE21cgs&t=618s&ab_channel=Levi%26Leah

The World's Most Effective Birth Control (And It's Not Abstinence!) feat. Dallas Barnes

Leah Tidey — Fri, 28 Jan 2022 04:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Season 3! Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about IUDs, libido, and cramping–are they all related? Are they happening because of the IUD? I also share my interview with Dallas Barnes where we do a deep dive on contraception methods. In particular, we answer your questions about what it’s like after having an IUD removed, our initial journeys with fertility awareness methods and addressing the pros and cons of hormonal versus non-hormonal birth control.

BEDucated Link: http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor

Coupon Code: LOVEDOCTOR

Resources from the Show!

Dallas Barnes @reyahealth

Reya Health: https://www.reyahealth.ca/

Options for Sexual Health Contraception Guide: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/methods/iud/#1550008055259-d77f52cd-09ee4323-f0d5

Debunking Desire: https://www.debunkingdesire.com/

A Survey of Young Women’s Perceptions of the Influence of the Levonorgestrel-Intrauterine System or Copper-Intrauterine Device on Sexual Desire: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31395237/

The Sexual Acceptability of Intrauterine Contraception: A Qualitative Study of Young Adult Women: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1363/47e4515?sid=nlm%3Apubmed

Counseling about IUDs: A Mixed-Methods Analysis: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1363/46e0814

Association of Short-term Bleeding and Cramping Patterns with Long-Acting Reversible Contraceptive Method Satisfaction: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4275360/

In The Flo book by Alyssa Vitti: https://intheflobook.com/

Why I Took Out My IUD (And Getting My First Period in 11 Years!)

Leah Tidey — Wed, 15 Dec 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions that I received on Instagram about why I got my IUD taken out, what it’s like having a period again after 11 years, and how my body is adjusting to not being on birth control. This is also the last episode of Season 2!! As we prepare for Season 3 coming out in the new year, what topics do you want me to cover? Are there some amazing guests I need to have on? Let me know!

Resources from the Show

Instagram Post: @dr.leahtidey

Website: www.leahtidey.com

Email: thelovedoctorpodcast@gmail.com

We Had a Bit of a Whoopsie YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2KtkYO5LBo&ab_channel=Levi%26Leah

Island Sexual Health: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/

IUD Fact Sheet at Options for Sexual Health: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/methods/iud/

A Qualitative Study of Young Women's Beliefs About Intrauterine Devices: Fear of Infertility: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jmwh.12425

Your IUD May Last Longer Than Your Doctor is Telling You (feat. Dr. Jen Gunter): https://www.insider.com/mirena-lasts-7-years-paragard-lasts-12-years-iud-2017-5

Do menstrual cups increase risk of IUD expulsion? A survey of self-reported IUD and menstrual hygiene product use in the United States: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31335218/

Emergency Contraception Fact Sheet: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/emergency-contraception/

Pregnancy Testing: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/pregnancy/testing/

Why Male Birth Control Doesn’t Exist Episode with Dallas Barnes:

Cycle Awareness with Crystal Kennings:

Crystal Kennings YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/CrystalKennings

Read Your Body App: https://www.readyourbody.info/

The Body Agency (Ovulation Kit, Menstrual Cups, Vulva Puppets, etc.): https://www.thebodyagency.com/

Menstrual Cup Info: https://putacupinit.com/

Alida’s Comment:

Ooh not sure how to phrase any of this as a question, but I was really devastated after I got my IUD and found out there were side effects I wasn’t informed could happen. I also felt like I was really pushed to get an IUD after I had a pregnancy scare, I think that’s always an interesting topic re: any kind of birth control. How people (mainly women) are pushed really hard to do it and are told that they are irresponsible if they are hesitant for whatever reason no matter how legitimate the reason for hesitation may be - almost as if an unplanned pregnancy is still a symbol of personal moral failure after all these years.

I also had terrible experiences with my insertion, very clear to me that the doctor was not at all trauma informed or aware of how triggering cervical pain can be for assault survivors.

I’ve been reflecting a lot recently on how people with vulvas (at least in my experience) are taught from an young age to just expect discomfort with pelvic health care or anything vulva related (eg. that periods are bad, tampons hurt at first, that pap smears are something to dread) and how that prepares us to not know how to set boundaries with care providers, or know that we actually have the right to ask a doctor to stop or pause or ask for more information about a procedure, medication, etc. It doesn’t help that in my experience whenever I’ve gone to a doctor with any kind of hormonal or reproductive related complaint the solution I’m given is always to just go on the pill. It’s not at all surprising that there are so many horrifying stories of obstetric violence when we’re prepared from the time we hit puberty to expect vulva or uterus related health care to feel uncomfortable or even violating. So now in hindsight, I’m like wow it’s fucked that the physician didn’t stop attempting to insert it when I started sobbing and continued to attempt several more times before he saying he couldn’t do it because I was too tense - I wonder why it was that I was tense? I’m so angry and sad that I was never told or empowered to have the skills to tell him to stop when I wanted him to. Also why is it that we’re pushed to be on birth control by health care providers but not even taught about how our menstrual/fertility cycles work? (Eg that we aren’t fertile every day of our cycle, WHY we experience mood changes or changes in cervical mucus). That feels to me like a MAJOR thing missing from informed consent. Is it actually informed consent if we aren’t even taught how our cycles and hormonal axes work as they are naturally, and how synthetic hormones alter them? I was definitely pushed as a teenager to get a hormonal IUD without any information about how it works in the body… and you can’t have informed consent without information. Smells suspiciously like the medical industrial complex having a stake in (mainly) women not being taught body literacy.

Anyways that’s a lot of food for thought! I don’t know if you follow the feminist midwife on Instagram, but I think you’d be interested in her writing and work! She’s doing her PhD in nursing right now on the topic of trauma informed pelvic care, super cool stuff!

What's Dating Like With 600K Subscribers? feat. Rachel Leary

Leah Tidey — Wed, 08 Dec 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about accessing inclusive sexual health care and what to do if your doctor has very different values than you. Like will they still offer you an IUD if you’re single and queer? I also interview social media personality and YouTuber, Rachel Leary. We talk about what it’s like sharing your life online as a woman, the struggles of trying to date as an influencer, and what she has learned about sexual health from starting her own podcast, Rated R with Rach Leary.

Resources from the Show!

Rachel Leary

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/rachelleary6

Instagram: @rachleary

Podcast: @ratedrpodcast

My interview on Rachel’s Podcast! https://open.spotify.com/episode/73GtlRnok3dyVkUpBtUqhh?si=63013ec67e884923

Dan Savage Revolutionized Sex. Then the Revolution Came for Him: https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/09/dan-savage-advice-savage-love-criticism-interview.html

@decolonizemyself

@zapatistarising

‘One-size doesn’t fit all’: Understanding healthcare practitioners’ perceptions, attitudes and behaviours towards sexual and reproductive health and rights in low resource settings’: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7316327/

How to Talk To With Your Doctor about Sex: https://www.healthgrades.com/right-care/sexual-health/how-to-talk-with-your-doctor-about-sex

Online STI Testing:https://getcheckedonline.com/Pages/default.aspx

What It's Like Being Married to a Sex Educator feat. Levi Hildebrand

Leah Tidey — Tue, 23 Nov 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, we are switching things up by bringing on my husband and business partner, Levi Hildebrand, to answer your questions about jealousy and TikTok, coming out to your partner after 11 years of marriage, and setting boundaries before your first sexual experience with someone. Like, is asking someone whether or not they’d get an abortion crossing a line or is it just strong communication? We also talk about the evolution of our relationship, some of our learning from the world of ethical non-monogamy and what it’s really like being married to a sexual health educator.

Resources from the Show!

Levi & Leah YouTube Channel:

https://www.youtube.com/c/LeviHildebrand

Instagram: @dr.leahtidey and @levi_hildebrand

Pokemon Evolution Database: https://pokemondb.net/evolution

Big Mouth Has Nailed It’s Raunchy Limits in Season 5: https://decider.com/2021/11/05/big-mouth-season-5-leah/

Sexual Debut versus ‘Virginity”: https://nypost.com/2021/09/24/woke-writer-attacks-the-word-virginity-suggests-sexual-debut/

FAQ: The Abortion Pill Mifegymiso: https://www.actioncanadashr.org/resources/factsheets-guidelines/2019-04-06-faq-abortion-pill-mifegymiso

How To Access A Safe, Self-Managed Medical Abortion: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/pregnancy_and_parenting_sexual_health/how_to_access_a_safe_selfmanaged_medical_abortion

Options for Sexual Health (Including Referrals for Pregnancy and Abortion Care): https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/

Yes, Your Grandma Has Sex feat. Joan Price

Leah Tidey — Wed, 10 Nov 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about queer representation in the media and how to maintain independence in a relationship. As someone who literally works 10 feet away from their partner all day, it’s something I have thought about a lot!

I also share my interview with the one and only, Joan Price. This 78 year old Senior Sexpert - by the way, happy birthday Joan! - spends her time talking out loud about senior sex. We talk about the myths that people have about sexuality and aging, share advice on how to navigate conversations with new sexual partners, and how humour is essential to great sex.

Resources from the Show!

Find Joan and her books, webinars, and blog at https://joanprice.com.

Naked at Our Age with Joan Price Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/JoanPriceAuthor/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JoanPrice

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejoanprice/

View Joan Price Talks Out Loud About Senior Sex

Author of award-winning books Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality after Losing Your Beloved.

Co-creator of “jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex: Senior Sex,” winner 2019 AV award, AASECT (American Assn. of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists)

Resident Senior Sexpert for Hot Octopuss Senior Sex Hub

For senior sex news and views, subscribe to my newsletter: http://eepurl.com/cx2Nab.

The Pervasive Reality of Anti-Black Racism in Canada: https://www.bcg.com/en-ca/publications/2020/reality-of-anti-black-racism-in-canada

Bill 2 is “the most transphobic bill ever proposed in Quebec” activist says: prohttps://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/bill-2-is-the-most-transphobic-bill-ever-proposed-in-quebec-activist-says

Petition: Withdrawal of Certain Sections of Bill 2: https://www.assnat.qc.ca/en/exprimez-votre-opinion/petition/Petition-9319/index.html

Reality TV and Queer Identities: https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007%2F978-3-030-14215-5

But How Many Are We? LGBTQ+ Stats and Stigmas: https://yr.media/identity/but-how-many-are-we-lgbtq-stats-and-stigmas/

LGBTQ Stats: https://www.lgbtqstats.org/about

Consensual Non-Monogamy: Is It Just About Sex? feat. Dr. Amy C. Moors

Leah Tidey — Wed, 20 Oct 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about jealousy and what to do if you’re feeling insecure about your partner watching porn. I also share my interview with Dr. Amy C. Moors where we debunk some major myths about consensual non-monogamy. Like how many people are doing it? And is everyone jealous all the time?! Amy shares the most up to date research and practical advice on how to navigate romantic relationships, monogamous or non-monogamous.

References from the show!

Dr. Amy C Moors: moors@chapman.edu

website: www.amycmoors.com

Perceived Effects of Pornography on the Couple Relationship: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-016-0783-6

Polyamory is more common than you think: https://www.publichealthpost.org/research/polyamory/

Prevalence of previous engagement in consensual non-monogamy: https://www.amycmoors.com/publications/prevalence-of-experiences-with-consensual-nonmonogamous-relationships

Prevalence of the ideal type of relationship: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/10.1080/00224499.2019.1580667

Comparisons of relationship quality among people engaged in consensual non-monogamy and monogamy: https://www.amycmoors.com/publications/the-investigation-of-consensually-non-monogamous-relationships

New language people create to describe "jealousy": https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1363460706069987?casa_token=L7A3je_LtVAAAAAA:65czk8sF5lUr9AHgAADj4qkPbVENdnq78MFEGoLgbkGvYcvD_xPbNwe2G5_eHCXJCnlbkAjYXuE5Woo

Safer sex practices among people engaged in consensual non-monogamy and ostensible monogamy: https://www.amycmoors.com/publications/unfaithful-individuals-are-less-likely-to-practice-safer-sex

STI rates among people engaged in consensual non-monogamy and monogamy: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609515344222

Willow Smith Opens Up About Being Polyamorous: https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-56852099

State of Affairs by Esther Perel

Polysecure by Jessica Fern

Opening Up by Tristan Taomino

Sex Education with the Halal Sexpert feat. Dr. Shaakira Abdullah

Leah Tidey — Tue, 05 Oct 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about whether gay men can donate blood here in Canada and how to feel like you’re part of the LGBTQ2S+ community as a bisexual. I also share my interview with the Halal Sexpert, Dr. Shaakira Abdullah. We talk about the workshops she teaches, such as Get Cliterate and What That Mouth Do? Oral sex, Fellatio, and foreplay, and if there is space in the sexual health world for educators from very different perspectives.

Resources from the Show!

Dr. Shaakira Abdullah: https://linktr.ee/thehalalsexpert

https://the-halal-sexpert.myshopify.com

Instagram @thehalalsexpert

Where To Get A Vulva Puppet: https://www.thebodyagency.com/collections/all-products

LEAH10 for 10% everything on the Body Agency’s website

Understanding general population impact and opportunities from changes to blood donation deferral screening and criteria for men who have sex with men: https://www.blood.ca/en/research/understanding-general-population-impact-and-opportunities-changes-blood-donation-0

About Men Who Have Sex With Men: Why We Talk About This Screening Criterion

https://www.blood.ca/en/blood/am-i-eligible-donate-blood/about-msm

Legality of Eligibility to Donate Blood: https://www.tcwalkerlawyers.com/legality-of-eligibility-requirements-to-donate-blood/

Men Who Have Sex With Men: https://www.blood.co.uk/who-can-give-blood/men-who-have-sex-with-men/

How To Be A Bisexual+ Ally By Challenging these Bi+ Myths Everyday

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiewareham/2020/09/16/how-to-be-a-bisexual-lgbtq-ally-and-challenge-these-top-bi-myths-everyday/?sh=704e970f10ea

Scarleteen Website: www.Scarleteen.org

Is My Vagina Normal? feat. Farzana Doctor

Leah Tidey — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about whether folks with vulvas mature more quickly than folks with penises and how what we’re watching on Netflix is impacting how we behave in the bedroom. I also share my interview with author, activist, and therapist, Farzana Doctor. Farzana and I talk about her new book Seven and how fiction is a powerful tool to address taboo topics in a pleasurable yet impactful way. In particular, we discuss khatna, a form of female genital mutilation (FGM) and what we can do to raise the profile to end its practice.

Resources from the Show!

Farzana Doctor: https://linktr.ee/farzanadoctor

Instagram: @farzanadoctor

Seven promo code for Canadians at www.dundurn.com with code DOCTOR25

End FGM Canada Network: https://www.endfgm.ca/

Dear Maasi: https://sahiyo.com/2020/09/13/dear-maasi-a-new-sex-and-relationship-column-for-survivors-of-female-genital-cutting/

The Practice of Khatna or Female Genital Mutilation Amongst the Dawoodi (Daudi) Bohra Shia Muslim Community: https://sahiyo.com/2016/01/19/the-practice-of-khatna-or-female-genital-mutilation-amongst-the-dawoodi-daudi-bohra-shia-muslim-community-part-1/

World Health Organization Key Facts about FGM: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation

The Lost and Lonely Clitoris: Why Can So Few People Find It?: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/31/the-lost-and-lonely-clitoris-why-can-so-few-people-find-it

Labia Liberation: The Movement to End Vulva Anxiety for Good: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/13/labia-liberation-the-movement-to-end-vulva-anxiety-for-good

The Vulva Gallery: https://www.thevulvagallery.com/the-vulva-gallery

Ida Applebroog Monalisa (vulva drawings) https://www.hauserwirth.com/publications/9351-ida-applebroog-monalisa

How TikTok is Reclaiming Outer Labia in a Humorous and Non-Judgemental Way: https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2021/08/10638396/tiktok-female-body-confidence-labia

Meat Curtains by @ella.watkins on TikTok

S.E.X. The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties by Heather Corinna

Science Explains Why Women Are Faster To Mature Than Men: https://www.mic.com/articles/111226/science-explains-why-women-are-faster-to-mature-than-men

Why Male Birth Control Doesn't Exist! feat. Dallas Barnes

Leah Tidey — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, we’re talking all things birth control - like why is there no male birth control (other than condoms), how do you choose one that’s right for you, what are the side effects, and who should be thinking about using contraception? I also share my interview with Dallas Barnes, the founder and CEO of Reya Health. Dallas and I talk about our journeys of trial and error with different types of birth control and answer your questions about hormonal versus non-hormonal methods and how to talk to your doctor about contraception.

Resources from the show!

Dallas Barnes @reyahealth

Reya Health: https://www.reyahealth.ca/

What Does the Pope Have to Do with Birth Control Pills? https://www.simplehealth.com/blog/the-pope-and-your-birth-control

Combined Hormonal Contraception and Its Effect on Mood: A Critical Review https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13625187.2016.1217327?journalCode=iejc20

This is Your Brain on Birth Control by Sarah Hill https://www.sarahehill.com/your-brain-on-birth-control/

Does the Pill Really Cause Mood Swings? https://www.bustle.com/articles/118631-does-the-pill-cause-mood-swings-how-hormonal-birth-control-affects-your-mood

Male Birth Control Study Killed After Men Complain of Side Effects: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/11/03/500549503/male-birth-control-study-killed-after-men-complain-about-side-effects

What Hormones Are In Nexplanon? https://gynraleigh.com/what-hormones-are-in-nexplanon/

A Qualitative Study of Young Women's Beliefs About Intrauterine Devices: Fear of Infertility: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jmwh.12425

Nexplanon-Arm Implant Birth Control: https://www.theguardian.pe.ca/opinion/national-perspectives/nexplanon-a-3-year-birth-control-implant-is-now-approved-for-use-in-canada-456342/

CBC News: Texas Abortion Ban Now Law: https://www.cbc.ca/listen/live-radio/1-9-cbc-news-the-world-this-hour

Texas Law That Bans Abortion Before Many Women Know They’re Pregnant Takes Effect: https://www.npr.org/2021/09/01/1033171800/texas-abortion-ban-supreme-court-

Can Women and Men Be "Just Friends?" (And What If They're Bi?!) feat. Marcus Territory

Leah Tidey — Mon, 23 Aug 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about how to clean your penis and genitals in general and is it possible for women and men to be friends? Or really, be friends with anyone of the gender we are attracted to? And what does that mean for bisexuals - can we be trusted to have any friends at all?I also share my interview with bisexual content creator, Marcus Territory. Marcus and I get into all things bisexual, such as is it harder to come out as bi as a man? And what sort of assumptions have people made when they find out you are bisexual.

Resources from the show!

Marcus Territory

Instagram: @marcusterritory

TikTok: @marcusterritory

The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists: https://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/23/magazine/the-scientific-quest-to-prove-bisexuality-exists.html

The Bisexuality Dating Dilemma: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-49753820

Bisexual Identities and Resources: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/if_i_only_want_to_have_sex_with_women_but_not_date_them_am_i_bisexual

#MythMonday: Anal August: https://positivesexuality.org/myth-monday-anal-august/

August Celebrated as Anal Pleasure Month: https://thepridela.com/2020/08/august-celebrated-as-anal-pleasure-month/

Anal Sex 101: https://www.thesexed.com/blog/2018/9/4/anal-sex-101

Age of Consent for Anal Intercourse (Canada): https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/csj-sjc/jsp-sjp/c75/p3.html

Examples of Sodomy Laws Used To Discriminate Against Lesbian and Gay People: https://www.aclu.org/other/examples-sodomy-laws-used-discriminate-against-lesbian-and-gay-people

Keeping Your Genitals Clean! https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/my_clitoris_is_an_innie_how_can_i_keep_it_clean

Out, Out Damn Smell! https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/out_out_damn_smell

Men and Women Can’t be “Just Friends”: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/

Benefit or Burden? Attraction in Cross-Sex Friendship: https://www.bleske-rechek.com/April%20Website%20Files/Bleske-Rechek%20et%20al.%202012%20Benefit%20or%20Burden.pdf

Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? https://onlinelibrary-wiley-com.ezproxy.library.uvic.ca/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2000.tb00008.x

Sex After Trauma feat. Cassandra Corrado

Leah Tidey — Tue, 10 Aug 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show we’re doing things a little different. I share my interview with sex educator, Cassandra Corrado and we talk about the assumptions that people make about you when you’re a sex educator--like “you’re always down for sex” or have experienced every type of sex we teach about. We also answer the many questions I’ve received from listeners about sex after trauma and sexual assault. It’s a difficult topic and one that is important for us to discuss.

Resources from the Show

Cassandra Corrado: www.cassandracorrado.com

Instagram: @feministsexed

Episode 8: Healthy Sex After Trauma Is Possible. Here’s How: https://cassandracorrado.com/you-deserve-good-sex/

National Sexual Violence Resource Centre (US): www.nsvrc.org

National Sexual Assault Hotline (US): www.rainn.org

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

Available to young Canadians between 5 to 29 years old who are seeking 24-hour confidential and anonymous care with professional counsellors.

Hope for Wellness 24/7 Help Line (Canada): 1-855-242-3310

Available to all Indigenous peoples across Canada who are seeking immediate crisis intervention.

Help Starts Here: British Columbia Sexual Assault Resources: https://www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/law-crime-and-justice/criminal-justice/bc-criminal-justice-system/if-victim/publications/hsh-english-sexual-assault.pdf

Peggy Orenstein Boys and Sex https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex

Good Morning America Interview with Peggy Orenstein: https://www.peggyorenstein.com/video-new

Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/yes_no_maybe_so_a_sexual_inventory_stocklist

What Does Real Sex Look Like? (& Disability Pride Month!) feat. Larissa Gunkel

Leah Tidey — Tue, 27 Jul 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, we're talking about what real sex looks like and how we can now see it on Netflix. I’m answering your questions about whether or not our own bodies can turn us on, and does that mean we’re autosexual? And how to keep that sexual spark alive in long distance relationships. I also share my interview with self-advocate, actor, and sexual health peer facilitator, Larissa Gunkel. Larissa and I talk about orgasms, relationships, and disability. We also discuss Sixpo, A Sexuality Conference happening next month in Vancouver, BC (online so anyone can attend!) that centres the experiences of people with disabilities.

Resources from the Show!

Romance, Relationships and Rights: Theatre for Social Change https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8l0tA3p0SA&ab_channel=RightsBasedSocialPolicy

Romance, Relationships and Rights Full Production https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkEAvMPig1g&t=1808s&ab_channel=RightsBasedSocialPolicy

Special on Netflix: https://www.entertainmentdaily.co.uk/tv/special-netflix-season-2-cast-about/

Ryan O’Connell is Passionate about Special’s Realistic Gay Sex Scenes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsOsZBoSACo&ab_channel=LateNightwithSethMeyers

LGBT and Disability: https://www.disabled-world.com/disability/sexuality/lgbt/

Academic Ableism: Disability and Higher Education: https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctvr33d50

Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies_sexuality/going_solo_the_basics_of_masturbation

Solo- and Autosexuality 101: https://glreview.org/article/solo-and-autosexuality-101/

6 Signs You Might Be Autosexual, aka Attracted to Yourself: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/autosexual-meaning-and-signs

Age of the Autosexual: The People Sexually Attracted to Themselves https://www.theguardian.com/society/shortcuts/2019/mar/04/age-of-the-autosexual-the-people-sexually-attracted-to-themselves

If You’re Your Own “Type” There’s a Word For That: https://www.elitedaily.com/p/can-you-be-attracted-to-yourself-autosexual-means-youre-your-own-type-19274890

Factors associated with sexual satisfaction in mixed-sex long-distance and geographically close relationships: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14681994.2020.1813884?journalCode=csmt20

How Questioning Your Sexual Orientation Is Normal! feat. Chris Angel Murphy

Leah Tidey — Mon, 12 Jul 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I'm getting into TikTok "hot girl" filters, answering your questions about what to do if your kid walks in on you masturbating and what to do about erectile dysfunction. I also share my interview with Chris Angel Murphy (they/them) of Gender Sexuality Info and honestly, it felt like I was having an intimate conversation with a dear friend. I am so honoured that Chris Angel shared their story of identity and how normalizing questioning as a lifelong orientation might open up some pretty amazing and pleasurable experiences.

Resources from the Show!

Chris Angel Murphy

Instagram: @gendersexualityinfo

https://campsite.bio/gendersexualityinfo

Sex Positive Talks to Have With Your Kids by Melissa Pintor Carnagey

Instagram: @sexpositive_families

Boys and Sex by Peggy Orenstein

The Complicated Truth About Social Media and Body Image

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190311-how-social-media-affects-body-image

Lizzo And More Are Sharing Before And After Videos Of Themselves With Filters To Promote Body Positivity: https://www.buzzfeed.com/alexalisitza/body-positivity-kendrick-lamar-tiktok-trend

Get Roman https://www.getroman.com/

Is Erectile Dysfunction Psychological? https://www.healthline.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/psychological

Psychological Determinants of Erectile Dysfunction Among Middle-Aged Men: https://www.nature.com/articles/ijir201434

How To Stop Having Boring Sex feat. Dr. Lori Brotto

Leah Tidey — Tue, 29 Jun 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I’m answering your questions about bi-erasure and what to do if you and your partner have different levels of sexual desire. I also share my interview with Dr. Lori Brotto all about low desire particularly in women, what the media tells us about sex, and how mindfulness just might be the answer to a lot of our sexual issues.

Resources from the Show!

Dr. Lori Brotto

Debunking Desire: https://www.debunkingdesire.com/

Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37768048-better-sex-through-mindfulness

What Basson's Sexual Response Cycle Teaches Us About Sexuality:

https://www.lifeworkspsychotherapy.com/bassons-sexual-response-cycle-teaches-us-sexuality/

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Advice for Better Sex Involves Eggs (It’s all BS): https://www.elle.com.au/health-fitness/gwyneth-paltrow-jade-eggs-tip-for-better-sex-life-7441

John Oliver’s Venus Veil Sexual Wellness Blanket: https://venusinventions.com/

1 in 6 Gen Z Adults are LGBT. And This Number Could Continue To Grow:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2021/02/24/gen-z-lgbt/

How To Deal With Bi Erasure? https://swell.damewellness.co/what-is-bi-erasure/

Scarleteen www.scarleteen.com

Sensible Sexpert Dr. Wendasha Jenkins Hall @thesensiblesexpert on Instagram

SIECCAN Workbooks: https://sieccan.org/sexual-health-education

The specific importance of communicating about sex to couples’ sexual and overall relationship satisfaction: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0265407510386833

Do Bi Guys Exist? feat. Joe Lee

Leah Tidey — Sun, 13 Jun 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I’m answering your questions about oral sex and how to navigate differing religious views on sexuality, and how bi wife energy might make you even sexier. I also share my interview with YouTuber, Joe Lee. Joe and I talk about bisexuality, sharing your life online, and what it’s like to be bi guys in the gay community.

Resources from the Show

Joe Lee

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/justjoelee/videos

Instagram: @justjoelee

Reflecting on Masculinity: Gym Culture, Gender Roles, Men's Makeup (with part of our interview!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Nn8XX640I4

Our Experience as a Bi Couple in the Gay Community: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcsfaydsI2U&t=621s

Coming Out On Your Own Terms: It's Okay to Take Your Time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cp7c6Oyvc8

Marsha P. Johnson Biography: https://www.biography.com/activist/marsha-p-johnson

How LGBTQ Pride Month Became a Branded Holiday (Vox): https://www.vox.com/2018/6/25/17476850/pride-month-lgbtq-corporate-explained

Lego Unveils “Everyone Is Awesome!” Pride Set: https://www.starobserver.com.au/news/lego-unveils-everyone-is-awesome-pride-set/203626

Pela Pride Collection: https://pelacase.ca/collections/iphone-12-pro-max-case

Bud Light Pride: https://www.budlight.ca/ca_en/Pride

Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Checklist https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/yes_no_maybe_so_a_sexual_inventory_stocklist

After Another Attack Targeting Muslims, Critics Demand Promised Online Hate Legislation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/anti-hate-legislation-online-london-attack-1.6059915

Is Oral Sex Permitted in Islam? https://hadithoftheday.com/is-oral-sex-permitted-in-islam/

Is Oral Sex Between a Husband and Wife Permitted in Islam? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9GfgwlZyeY&ab_channel=HudaTV

Muslim Twitter Asks: Is Oral Sex Permitted in Islam? https://www.amaliah.com/post/45079/is-oral-sex-permissable-dj-khaled-talks-about-sex

Seminal Questions: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2006/jan/17/worlddispatch.egypt

Season 1: Episodes 8 & 9 with Percy and Episodes 10 & 11 with Clary!

How Is TikTok Changing Sex Ed? feat. Tess Vanderhaeghe

Leah Tidey — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I’m answering your questions about compulsive heterosexuality and why we’re seeing it come up more and more on TikTok. I also share my interview with sexual health educator and viral TikTok sensation, Yes Tess. Tess and I talk about the trials and tribulations of trying to create sexual health content online and what questions we get asked all. The. time. As sexual health educators. For example, can you get pregnant from anal?

Resources from the Show!

Yes Tess! www.yestess.ca

Instagram @yestess_she

TikTok @yes.tess

Start Up on Netflix (it’s amazing!)

Shan Boodram @shanboody

Bi-Erasure: What it is, Why It’s a Threat to Health, and How to Put An End To It https://www.health.com/mind-body/lgbtq-health/bi-erasure

Compulsory Heterosexuality Definition: https://www.academia.edu/37538706/Compulsory_Heterosexuality

Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence by Adrienne Rich: https://www.jstor.org/stable/3173834?seq=1

Compulsory Heterosexuality by Hannah Witton : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq5S8O0FpS8&ab_channel=HannahWitton

Am I a Lesbian? Masterdoc: https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1AA6RtNIJIYkXAb8pxguUZAUuA-zKv_y8kpE7WTaRDH4/mobilebasic#h.l9z9zzze83ui

Scarleteen www.scareleteen.com

Why Do I Feel Shame About Sex? feat. Mia Davis

Leah Tidey — Mon, 17 May 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I’m answering your questions about figuring out if you’re bisexual and discuss why being married to a man doesn’t make me “formerly bisexual.” I also talk about birth control options and share a listener’s story about their experience with an IUD. I am also so excited to share my interview with Tabu CEO and founder, Mia Davis. Mia and I talk about creating the sexual health content we wish was available when we were younger and unpacking sexual shame.

Resources from the Show!

Mia Davis CEO and Founder of Tabu

Talk Tabu: https://www.talktabu.com/

Instagram: @talk.tabu and @tabuwellness

Mia’s New Podcast! Asking For Myself @asking4myself

Erika Smith Purity Culture Drop Out: https://www.ericasmitheac.com/the-purity-culture-dropout-program

Carpenter, L. M., & DeLamater, J. D. (2012). Sex for life: From virginity to Viagra, how sexuality changes throughout our lives. New York: New York University Press.

Show or Tell? Does Verbal and/or Nonverbal Sexual communication Matter for Sexual Satisfaction: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2018.1501446?scroll=top&needAccess=true&journalCode=usmt20

A New Study Finds that Doing This One Thing Makes Sex More Satisfying: https://www.glam.com/wellness/study-finds-communication-leads-to-sexual-satisfaction/

What Is Compassion Fatigue? https://www.tendacademy.ca/what-is-compassion-fatigue/

Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22693240-taking-charge-of-your-fertility

Effectiveness of Contraception Methods: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/

Reproductive Justice Resources: https://www.fertilityawarenessprofessionals.com/reproductive-justice-resources/

Can You Trust a Bisexual Partner? (And what is bi wife energy?) feat. Levi Hildebrand

Leah Tidey — Mon, 03 May 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I’m answering your questions about bisexuality, and what to do if you find your kid masturbating. But I’m doing it a little differently cause I get some help answering your questions with the one and only Levi Hildebrand. I also interview Levi about his thoughts on the whole “bi wife energy” trend, what assumptions people have made about being in a relationship with a bisexual person and how he would really feel if we were to introduce another man into our relationship.

Resources from the Show!

HUMP Film Festival https://filmfreeway.com/HUMPFilmFest

Impurity Culture: Masturbation is Self Care: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/politics_sexual_identity_sexuality/impurity_culture_masturbation_is_selfcare

Bi Wife Energy is Subverting Straight Relationships: https://i-d.vice.com/en_uk/article/n7bjyk/what-is-bi-wife-energy-tiktok

What is Attachment Theory and How Does it Impact Sex and Relationships?: https://mashable.com/article/attachment-theory-explained/

Come As You Are by Dr. Emily Nagoski: https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/come-as-you-are-the/9781476762098-item.html

Scarleteen Website: www.scarleteen.com

What Does Sex Positivity Actually Mean? feat. Dr. Charlotte Loppie

Leah Tidey — Mon, 19 Apr 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I’m answering your questions about sex and consent in long term relationships, the difference between sexual and emotional intimacy, and why gender diverse is not an umbrella term for LGBTQ2S+ folks. I also share my interview with Dr. Charlotte Loppie, my mentor and the creator of the Healthy Sexuality course I taught at the University of Victoria. Both of us were interviewed with the University of Victoria’s Consent Advocates and Relationship Educators (CARE) program about consent and sex positivity.

Resources from the Show!

Dr. Charlotte Loppie at UVic: https://www.uvic.ca/hsd/publichealthsocialpolicy/faculty-staff/home/faculty/profiles/loppiecharlotte.php

Most Canadian Parents Comfortable with Sex Ed, Research Finds: https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/article-most-canadians-comfortable-with-sex-ed-two-studies-report/

Attitudes Towards Sexual Health Education in Schools: National Survey of Parents in Canada: https://utpjournals.press/doi/pdf/10.3138/cjhs.2020-0049

What Basson's Sexual Response Cycle Teaches Us About Sexuality: https://www.lifeworkspsychotherapy.com/bassons-sexual-response-cycle-teaches-us-sexuality/

Emotional Versus Sexual Intimacy: Why You Need to Know the Difference https://drkristieoverstreet.com/blog/emotional-versus-sexual-intimacy-why-you-need-to-know-the-difference/#:~:text=Think%20of%20emotional%20intimacy%20as,to%20help%20us%20feel%20whole.

Action Canada Gender Galaxy Resource: https://www.actioncanadashr.org/beyond-basics-sneak-peek-gender-galaxy

UVic CARE Program: https://www.uvic.ca/services/studentlife/initiatives/student-leadership/index.php

Let’s Get Consensual! https://uvss.ca/consent/

Consent is Like a Cup of Tea video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDhKM8qWWBM&ab_channel=AyyLmao

Island Sexual Health Society: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/

Options for Sexual Health: www.optionsforsexualhealth.org

Scarleteen Website: https://www.scarleteen.com/

Getting Consent for Sex is Too Low a Bar (Enthusiastic Agreement article): https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/18/well/getting-consent-for-sex-is-too-low-a-bar.html

Does Watching Porn Make Me a Bad Person? feat. Allie Oops

Leah Tidey — Thu, 01 Apr 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I’m answering your questions about celebrities, sex work and how to be an ally to sex workers. I also share my interview with Allie Oops, head of production and intimacy director at AfterGlow, a new porn company focused on women’s pleasure. We talk about porn addiction, what makes ethical porn “ethical,” and why we should all be paying for our porn! If you want to check them out and all of the other amazing resources I share on the show, then check out www.leahtidey.com and click on Podcast.

Resources from the show!

Allie Oops: https://www.allie-oops.com/

Instagram: @cummanifesto

Twitter: @cummanifesto

New Website! www.leahtidey.com

After Glow: http://xoafterglow.com/

Lil Nas X Call Me By Your Name Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6swmTBVI83k&ab_channel=LilNasXVEVO

The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Children of the Street: https://www.childrenofthestreet.com/

Opinion Piece: The Children of Pornhub https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/04/opinion/sunday/pornhub-rape-trafficking.html

Nick Kristof and the Holy War on Pornhub: https://newrepublic.com/article/160488/nick-kristof-holy-war-pornhub

Sensual Solutions: http://www.sensualsolutions.ca/

PEERS: Victoria Resource Society: https://www.safersexwork.ca/

Pivot Legal: Sex Workers Rights: https://www.pivotlegal.org/sex_workers_rights

Scarlet Road: A Sex Worker’s Journey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMXjc_Ow4mg&ab_channel=Thalles

Sexual Healing: Inside the World of Medically Assisted Sex

https://decriminalizesex.work/slutever2019/

Is That Legal? What the Law Says about Online Harassment and Abuse:

https://pubsdb.lss.bc.ca/pdfs/pubs/Is-That-Legal-eng.pdf

Do You Need Sex Therapy? feat. Rahim Thawer

Leah Tidey — Thu, 18 Mar 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I’m answering your questions about IUDs and how to navigate accessing sexual health services, as well as questions about bacterial vaginosis, or BV and why we need to stop shaming ourselves and our bodies.

I also share my interview with clinical social worker and psychotherapist, Rahim Thawer. We talk all about sex therapy, and what it means to actually be sex positive in a pretty sex negative world. Also, I finally have a website!! If you want to know more about the work that I do or dig into all of the amazing resources I share with you, then check out www.leahtidey.com

Resources from the show!

Rahim Thawer: http://www.affectiveconsult.ca/team.php

Instagram: @ladyatavin

Twitter: @RahimThawer

allmylinks.com/ladyativan

New Website! www.leahtidey.com

Sex After Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46045289-sex-after-grief

Myths and The Truth About Sex After Grieving: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201911/myths-and-the-truth-about-sex-after-grieving

Options for Sexual Health www.optionsforsexualhealth.org

Sex Sense Line 1-800-739-7367

Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity: https://www.vitalsource.com/en-ca/products/human-sexuality-in-a-world-of-diversity-sixth-spencer-a-rathus-jeffrey-s-v9780135166390

Taylor Nolan Wants You To Be Kinder To Your Vagina: https://thekit.ca/health/taylor-nolan-vaginal-health/

Bacterial Vaginosis: A Practical Review https://journals.lww.com/jaapa/Fulltext/2017/12000/Bacterial_vaginosis__A_practical_review.3.aspx

Are You in Love or Lust? feat. Dr. Sari van Anders & Will Beischel

Leah Tidey — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I’m answering your questions about love - what is it? How do we know when we’re in it? What is the media telling us about love? And, what is the difference between love and lust? My interview with Dr. Sari van Anders and Will Beischel offers an important dialogue on what that difference is and provides an actually useful theory for us to better understand ourselves in the world.

Resources from the Show!

Dr. Sari van Anders Twitter @sarivananders

Will Beischel Twitter @willbeischel

Van Anders Lab: https://www.queensu.ca/psychology/van-anders-lab/

SCT Gender/Sex Sexuality Video: https://youtu.be/1ejZRlQawVQ

SCT Partner Number Sexuality Video: https://youtu.be/2fRj3T4UazI

SCT & Individual Gender/Sex Video: https://youtu.be/mxzJguDzbnM

A Better Way to Talk About Love by Mandy Len Carton: https://www.ted.com/talks/mandy_len_catron_a_better_way_to_talk_about_love#t-223371

Good Clean Love: We Love The Way You Love: https://goodcleanlove.com/

What is Polyamory? feat. Kassandra Heap

Leah Tidey — Thu, 28 Jan 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about polyamory, including what resources are out there for finding the polyam community for you, if folks are born polyamorous or monogamous, and how to start normalizing polyamory.

I also share my interview with the brilliant and insightful Kassandra Heap. Kassandra is a registered psychologist whose job is to help you make meaningful connections with yourself and others. We are giving you Polyamory 101 and I couldn’t have asked for a better guest to guide us through it.

Resources from the Show!

Kassandra Heap: https://www.kassandraheap.com/

Instagram: @kassandra.heap.yyc

What I Got Wrong in More Than Two: The Dark Night of the Soul: https://brighterthansunflowers.com/2019/11/29/what-i-got-wrong-in-more-than-two-the-dark-night-of-the-soul/amp/

Thoughts on the Fifth Anniversary of More Than Two: https://brighterthansunflowers.com/2019/09/02/thoughts-on-the-fifth-anniversary-of-more-than-two/

The Best Polyamory Resources: https://medium.com/polyamory-today/the-best-polyamory-resources-e63caaf40de5

Polyamory on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/

Poly Pages: http://www.polypages.org/researchhub.html#/

Polyamorous Dating Sites: https://daterboy.com/how-to-find-polyamorous-partners-the-ultimate-guide/

Does Penis Size Actually Matter? feat. Dr. Rinaldo Walcott

Leah Tidey — Thu, 14 Jan 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Season 2 of The Love Doctor! We're kicking things off by talking about dick pics, penises, and how to respond to sex even if it's been a couple years since your last session.

I also share my interview with Dr. Rinaldo Walcott, where we talk about how HIV and Covid-19 actually have a lot in common and he asks a very important question: How do black men fuck? As a black man, he specifically uses this question to call attention to how society and sex researchers have created a pretty narrow script of black men’s sexuality and he offers it as a spark to discussion.

Resources from the Show!

Dr. Rinaldo Walcott

Twitter: @blacklikewho

https://wgsi.utoronto.ca/person/rinaldo-walcott/

Does Penis Size Actually Matter? https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/does-size-matter

How does celibacy affect your health?: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326518#effects-on-the-body

Can You Talk To Your Mom About Sex? feat. Dr. Paige Fisher

Leah Tidey — Thu, 26 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0700

Last episode of Season 1! Today on the show, I answer your questions about how to find sexually and emotionally compatible partners and how advisable it is to get in touch with an ex, especially during Cuffing Season.

I also share my interview with the brilliant Dr. Paige Fisher aka my mom. We talk about her journey on being Dr. Fisher and not Dr. Tidey, when I told her about the first time I kissed a girl and basically how I’ve been a sex nerd since I was three years old. To me, it feels like the perfect way to end Season 1 with the woman who has taught me so much about how to hold my head high and share my voice with the world.

Resources from the Show!

Our Ethical Wedding Rings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yx1BNmlNIls&ab_channel=LeviHildebrand

How We Made Our Wedding Zero Waste: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwl1SoAChUw&ab_channel=LeviHildebrand

20 Things to Know About Sexual Compatibility: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/sexual-compatibility#breakdown

What Does a Healthy Relationship with Your Ex Look Like?: https://www.talkspace.com/blog/healthy-relationship-with-ex-partner/

Why “Cuffing Season” is Reckless and Damaging: https://www.thestar.com/life/relationships/advice/2020/11/09/why-cuffing-season-is-reckless-and-damaging.html

Why You Should Buy A Sex Toy! feat. Jasmine Aziz

Leah Tidey — Thu, 12 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about orgasming with a vibrator versus a partner, what lubes you should use with condoms and how to introduce sex toys into your relationship. I also share my interview with the hilarious sex toy aficionado and author of Sex and Samosas, Jasmine Aziz, where we get into our past shitty relationships and her top sex toy recommendations!

Resources from the Show!

Jasmine Aziz: @JasmineAziz

Sex and Samosas: https://www.biblio.com/9780987735706

Here She Comes Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/40RDaEAhqXq44oJF4yXXuG?si=WeNpB9aJRdq13eTPFf6Zrg

Magic Wand: https://wickedwandas.ca/collections/luxury-vibes/products/magic-wand-rechargeable

Satisfyer Pro...You know, that sweet bitch: https://wickedwandas.ca/collections/the-satisfyer-collection/products/the-satisfyer-pro-2

Premium Grip Masturbator (Sleeve): https://wickedwandas.ca/products/apollo-reversible-premium-grip-masturbator?_pos=3&_sid=d5ea7de37&_ss=r

Jasmine’s Review of The Sleeve!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBADmRfcgUo&feature=youtu.be

A Guide to Sex Toys That Don’t Totally Ruin the Planet!: https://www.vice.com/en/article/gyzp43/best-eco-friendly-vibrators-sex-toys

How Sex Toys Impact Relationships: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201705/how-sex-toys-impact-relationships

Vibrator Dependence: Can Using a Vibrator Make it Harder to Orgasm with a Real Partner?: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/love-science-media/vibrator-dependence-can-using-a-vibrator-make-it-harder-to-o.html

The Impact of a Couple’s Vibrator on Men’s Perceptions of Their Own and Their Partner’s Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1097184X15595082

The Best Eco-Friendly Condoms and Lubes, According to Sex Experts: https://nymag.com/strategist/article/best-organic-vegan-condoms-lube.html

The Ultimate Guide to Eco-Friendly Sex: https://theecohub.ca/the-ultimate-guide-to-eco-friendly-sex-toys-lubricant-condoms/

Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity

Ben Wa Balls: https://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/ben-wa-balls-c-1015.aspx

Vibrating butt plug: https://kinkazoid.com/vibrating-butt-plugs/

Does Masturbation Help with Period Pain? feat. Crystal Kennings

Leah Tidey — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 00:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about masturbation and why it can help relieve period cramps, what kind of hygiene your vulva needs and how weight change affects menstruation. I also share part two of my interview with Crystal Kennings where we talk about zero waste period products and how eating plant-based might just lead to a better sex life. Seriously, avocado toast might be the answer!

Resources from the Show!

Crystal’s Instagram: @crystalkennings

Crystal Comparing Period Products: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acZjAEP7bYs&t=29s&ab_channel=CrystalKennings

Knix Underwear: https://knix.ca/collections/period-underwear

How Tampons and Pads Became So Unsustainable: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/09/how-tampons-pads-became-unsustainable-story-of-plastic/#close

Menstrual Cup Use and Intrauterine Device Expulsion in a Copper Intrauterine Device Contraceptive Efficacy Trial: https://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/Abstract/2020/05001/Menstrual_Cup_Use_and_Intrauterine_Device.3.aspx

Menstrual Cup Users at Increased Risk of IUD Displacement: https://www.medpagetoday.com/meetingcoverage/acog/86150

Tampon Commercial: Baroness Von Sketch Show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoXlxdT5TL4&ab_channel=CBCComedy

Why Masturbation Needs To be Taught in Sex Ed: https://mashable.com/article/masturbation-sex-ed/

Netflix’s Sex Education Prioritizes Female Pleasure: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/netflixs-sex-education-prioritizes-female-pleasure

Put A Cup In It: https://putacupinit.com/

Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity, Sixth Edition: https://www.vitalsource.com/en-ca/products/human-sexuality-in-a-world-of-diversity-sixth-spencer-a-rathus-jeffrey-s-v9780135166390

Association between Body Weight Changes and Menstrual Irregularity: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5503870/

A Weight-Loss Program Adapted to the Menstrual Cycle: https://academic.oup.com/ajcn/article/104/1/15/4569669

The Vagina Bible by Dr. Jen Gunter

11 Sustainable Products to Help You Have an Eco-Friendly Period: https://greatist.com/health/eco-friendly-period-products-sustainable-period-products#best-eco-friendly-and-sustainable-period-products

The Science that Proves Vegans Have Better Sex (Best article with actual research cited!): https://lovecomplement.com/blogs/resources/the-science-that-proves-vegans-have-better-sex

Vegans Make Better Lovers - Here’s Why: https://www.peta.org.uk/blog/vegan-lovers/#:~:text=Vegans%20have%20higher%20sex%20drives,looking%20for%20in%20the%20bedroom

Experts Reveal How Going Vegan Can Affect Your Sex Life: https://www.bustle.com/p/how-going-vegan-can-affect-your-sex-life-according-to-experts-18817624

What You Need to Know About Your Period feat. Crystal Kennings

Leah Tidey — Thu, 29 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about sustainable lube products, hormones, managing our mental health leading up to sex and what red flags - and green flags - are in sexual relationships. I also share part 1 of my interview with my friend and menstrual wellness educator, Crystal Kennings. We talk about cycle awareness and how it includes so much more than just tracking your period!

Resources from the Show

Crystal’s Information

Instagram: @crystalkennings

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/crystaalk

Levi's Video Exposing Fake Instagram Brands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2WHUJ9uNbs&ab_channel=LeviHildebrand

Savage Love: You Do Not Need Someone’s Consent to Dump Them: https://nowtoronto.com/lifestyle/advice/savage-love-you-do-not-need-someone-consent-dump-them

Why We Need to Shout About “Green Flags” in Relationships: https://www.stylist.co.uk/opinion/green-flags-red-flags-relationships-toni-tone/407665

Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity, Sixth Edition: https://www.vitalsource.com/en-ca/products/human-sexuality-in-a-world-of-diversity-sixth-spencer-a-rathus-jeffrey-s-v9780135166390

The Vagina Bible: https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/the-vagina-bible-the-vulva/9780735277373-item.html

14 Best Natural Lubricants That Won’t Irritate Your Vagina: https://www.prevention.com/sex/g21085349/best-natural-lubricants/

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?: https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral

A Review of Experimental Research on Anxiety and Sexual Arousal: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2043808719847371#:~:text=More%20than%20half%20of%20studies,a%20minority%20observing%20no%20effect

How Does A Sex Podcaster Make Money?!

Leah Tidey — Thu, 15 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about romantic versus sexual relationships and how we can balance both, as well as what good communication actually looks like. Also on the show, I’m doing something a little different. Instead of an interview, I’m going to share a bit more about what I do and how the heck I make money as a sexual health and arts-based researcher. I’m attending a conference this week and I thought it was a great opportunity to share a bit more about what I do and how I got into my line of work. I'll even tell you a story about how someone wanted to be my sugar daddy!

References from the Show!

My Research! You’re Doing What?! At Your Age?! Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aUUHUrQm0w&t=2s&ab_channel=UVic

Her: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1798709/

6 Surprising Ways to Communicate Better With Your Partner: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201501/6-surprising-ways-communicate-better-your-partner

Talking Dirty: De-Stigmatizing Conversation on Sex: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpeNt81dgVI&ab_channel=TEDxTalks

Schitt’s Creek: https://gem.cbc.ca/season/schitts-creek/season-6/4beb167e-f4da-4435-9282-7acb77230775?cmp=sch-schitts

Bisexual & Married to a YouTuber feat. Levi Hildebrand

Leah Tidey — Thu, 08 Oct 2020 03:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about figuring out if you’re bisexual or heterosexual or demisexual and what the heck all of that means. I also share my interview with the devastatingly handsome and hilarious, Levi Hildebrand.

You do know we’re married...right? We talk about our relationship, its ups and downs over the years as well as Levi’s recent YouTube video about wearing the same outfit for 30 days and why nobody said anything. So what is the deal with gender expectations and clothing and how does it affect our sex lives?

Resources from the Show!

Levi’s YouTube Video: I Wore the Same Thing for 30 Days! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGDaEbe0g0s&t=302s&ab_channel=LeviHildebrand

Machismo: How Toxic Masculinity Harms Latinx People - an interview with Laura Carlsen: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/politics_sexual_identity_gender_etc/machismo%C2%A0how_toxic_masculinity_harms%C2%A0latinx_people_an

Just the Basics Ace: An Asexuality Primer https://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships_sexual_identity_in_your_own_words/just_the_basics_ace_an_asexuality_primer

I Think I Might Be Asexual: English https://advocatesforyouth.org/resources/health-information/i-think-i-might-be-asexual/

I Think I Might Be Asexual: Spanish https://advocatesforyouth.org/resources/health-information/i-think-i-might-be-asexual-spanish/

Everything Sex & Relationships Reading List: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/parents/adult-reading-list/

Mormons and Shame: https://latterdaysaintmag.com/mormons-and-shame-when-you-dont-measure-up-to-the-lds-ideal/

'Conditioned to lying': how Mormon sexual questioning is 'child abuse': https://www.smh.com.au/national/conditioned-to-lying-how-mormon-sexual-questioning-is-child-abuse-20190309-p512xx.html

I Think I Might Be Bisexual: English https://advocatesforyouth.org/resources/health-information/i-think-i-might-be-bi-pan/

I Think I Might Be Bisexual: Spanish https://advocatesforyouth.org/resources/health-information/i-think-i-might-be-bisexual-pansexual-spanish/

Sex For Life: From Virginity to Viagra by Carpenter & DeLamater: https://nyupress.org/9780814772539/sex-for-life/

What is Lesbian Sex? Feat. Steph & Kaitlin from Lez See The World

Leah Tidey — Thu, 01 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about exploring our bodies and pleasure - even in conservative countries - and how to keep the spark alive while you’re doing a PhD. I also share my interview with Steph and Kaitlin, the creative entrepreneurs behind Lez See the World. I’ve been following this incredible lesbian couple for quite awhile now and not gonna lie, I was a little starstruck when they agreed to do an interview with me. It is a hilarious and heartfelt interview and I can’t wait for you to hear it.

Resources from the Show

Steph and Kaitlin’s Info! Instagram @lezseetheworld and Blog at https://lezseetheworld.com

Big Mouth Guide to Life on Instagram @bigmouthnetflix

Agency founder's delight at Emmy win for project with Netflix series Big Mouth: https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/18739995.agency-founders-delight-emmy-win-project-netflix-series-big-mouth/

UN Population Fund Salud sexual y reproductiva: https://www.unfpa.org/es/salud-sexual-y-reproductiva

UN Population Fund Sexual and Reproductive Health: https://www.unfpa.org/about-us

Young women’s sexual and reproductive health and rights in Ecuador: https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:1065927/FULLTEXT01.pdf

Women’s Reproductive and Sexual Health as a Human Right: https://www.cfhi.org/womens-reproductive-sexual-health-as-a-human-right

Rights, Respected, Responsibility: A K-12 Sexuality Education Curriculum (English & Spanish) https://3rs.org/3rs-curriculum/download-3rs/

“We keep quiet”: exploring the context of pregnancy intention in a low-resource community in Ecuador: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/26410397.2019.1686198

Social inequality in sexual and reproductive health in Ecuador: an analysis of gaps by levels of provincial poverty 2009–2015: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6545732/

Am I Addicted to Porn?! feat. Clary Chambers

Leah Tidey — Thu, 24 Sep 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about porn and how to know if you’re addicted to it and about gay sex between folks with penises -exclaimer, it’s not just anal!

I also share part 2 of my interview with invisible illness advocate and CEO of Spark Clarity, Clary Chambers. In episode 9, we got to hear from Clary’s partner, Percy, about who said I love you first and who initiates sex more. Now it’s Clary’s turn and we get into the nuts and bolts of healthy relationships, particularly for folks with disabilities. I mean, did you know that masturbation is a great medication?!

Resources from the show!

Clary's Website: Sparkclarity.ca

Instagram: @sparkclarity

How We Met / Q&A YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FovqUPb_oKM&ab_channel=LeviHildebrand

The War on Masturbation: https://canvasonic.com/watch/anna-akana/the-war-on-masturbation

Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep.): https://www.scarleteen.com/article/gender/is_masturbation_okay_yep

Why We Should Stop Calling Porn “Addiction” an Addiction: https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2015/7/10/why-we-should-stop-calling-porn-addiction-an-addiction?rq=addiction

Clitbait: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About The Clitoris: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/jan/23/clitbait-10-things-you-didnt-know-about-the-clitoris

Clitoris Visual Guide: https://lioness.io/blogs/sex-guides/where-is-the-clitoris-a-visual-guide-with-troubleshooting-steps

The Bees and...The Bees: A Homosexuality and Bisexuality Prime: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships/the_bees_andthe_bees_a_homosexuality_and_bisexuality_primer

Tips for Anal Sex: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/sex/tips-for-anal-sex/

Oral Sex, Manual Sex, Anal Sex..What It All Means, Jellybean!: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/oral_sex_manual_sex_anal_sexwhats_it_all_mean_jellybean

Options for Sexual Health Contact Info: 1-800-739-7367 throughout BC* or 604-731-7803 in the Lower Mainland https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/sex-sense/

Orgasm Gap: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-0939-z

What Is Squirting? Why Does It Happen? feat. Clary Chambers

Leah Tidey — Thu, 17 Sep 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about squirting (is it a gush? A drop? What’s the deal?), and focusing on vulva-related questions. Whether or not you have a vulva, chances are you’re going to learn something new! I also share part 1 of my interview with Clary Chambers about her work as an invisible illness advocate, accessibility advisor and CEO of Spark Clarity. Clary is so engaging and wonderful to chat with that I even offered that she should host this podcast! Lucky for me, she is far too busy with her own endeavours and I am so grateful to have her on the show.

Resources from the Show!

Clary's Website! https://sparkclarity.ca/ Instagram: @sparkclarity

What Exactly is Female Ejaculation - And Can Every Woman Do It?: https://www.health.com/condition/sexual-health/female-ejaculation

Every Question You Ever Had about Female Ejaculation, Answered: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/544c5686-e3bc-4ac2-b4ca-f91eccefe441

The Vagina Bible by Dr. Gunter: https://drjengunter.com/social-media/

Intersectionality Article-Mapping the Margins by Kimberle Crenshaw: https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/734f/8b582b7d7bb375415d2975cb783c839e5e3c.pdf?_ga=2.247126790.363196569.1600202704-1001155279.1600202704

Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad: https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/me-and-white-supremacy-combat/9781728209807-item.html

Let’s Talk About the Vagina, Goop and Patriarchy by Dr. Gunter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTGYMMNbNEs&ab_channel=CenterforInquiry

Sexual Health Laboratory: https://brottolab.med.ubc.ca/sexual-dysfunction-information/

What is Vaginismus?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4rMVbDLyo0&ab_channel=Women%27sTherapyCenter-TreatmentCenterForVaginismus%2CPainfulSex%2CCancer%2CIncontinence%26More

Sexual Health Educator Certification: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/sex-ed/shec/

How Do You Come Out To Your Parents? feat. Emily Percival-Paterson

Leah Tidey — Thu, 10 Sep 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about how to talk to kids about sex and about identifying as asexual. I’ll also be sharing part 2 of my interview with Emily Percival Paterson, where we talk about coming out to our parents, how to create inclusive spaces, and get into all the juicy details about their relationship with Clary Chambers. Clary will also be my next guest on the podcast and I am so excited to share this power couple’s story both in and out of the bedroom.

Resources from the Show!

Percy’s Website! Trans Birth Care in Canada: https://transbirthcareinca.wixsite.com/tbcic

Check out Percy and Trans Birth Care on Instagram too! @percypaters and @trans.birth.care.in.canada

Are We Having Kids?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmXCIBuQzvw&t=230s

State Policies on Sex Education in Schools: https://www.ncsl.org/research/health/state-policies-on-sex-education-in-schools.aspx

What Asexuality Can Teach Us About Sexual Relationships and Boundaries: https://theconversation.com/what-asexuality-can-teach-us-about-sexual-relationships-and-boundaries-94846.

Just the Basics, Ace: An Asexuality Primer: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships_sexual_identity_in_your_own_words/just_the_basics_ace_an_asexuality_primer

I Think I Might Be Asexual: English: https://advocatesforyouth.org/resources/health-information/i-think-i-might-be-asexual/

I Think I Might Be Asexual: Spanish: https://advocatesforyouth.org/resources/health-information/i-think-i-might-be-asexual-spanish/

My PhD Research: You’re Doing What?! At Your Age?! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aUUHUrQm0w&t=2s&ab_channel=UVic

Island Sexual Health Society: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org

Confidential text line: 250-812-9374

Academic Resources

Dominguez, L. J., & Barbagallo, M. (2016). Ageing and sexuality. European Geriatric Medicine, 7(6), 512-518. doi:10.1016/j.eurger.2016.05.013

Carpenter, L. M., & DeLamater, J. D. (2012). Sex for life: From virginity to viagra, how sexuality changes throughout our lives. New York: New York University Press.

Kasif, T., & Band-Winterstein, T. (2017). Older widows' perspectives on sexuality: A life course perspective. Journal of Aging Studies, 41, 1-9. doi:10.1016/j.jaging.2017.01.002

Pickard, S. (2016). Sexuality through the life course. (pp. 131). 55 City Road: SAGE Publications Ltd. doi:10.4135/9781473957800.n7

Are You Gonna Have Kids? feat. Emily Percival-Paterson

Leah Tidey — Thu, 03 Sep 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about how to talk about sex with new partners, friends, and family - even when it comes to kinks and polyamory. I’ll also be sharing my interview with Emily Percival-Paterson where we talk about trans birth care in Canada and why people feel it’s okay to ask about your sex life in the context of “So, are you gonna have kids?”

Resources from the Show!

Percy’s Website! Trans Birth Care in Canada: https://transbirthcareinca.wixsite.com/tbcic

Fet Life: https://fetlife.com/

Finding Other Local Kinksters Using Online Resources: https://www.submissiveguide.com/fundamentals/articles/entering-the-community-finding-other-local-kinksters-using-online-resources?series=series-munches

A Map of Gender Diverse Cultures: https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/content/two-spirits_map-html/

The Sacred Hoop: Recovering the Feminine in Indian American Traditions: https://books.google.ca/books/about/The_Sacred_Hoop.html?id=dZD24n0YtlwC

Best Books for Polyamory: https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/11205.Best_Books_for_Polyamory

Academic Resources

Carpenter, L. M., & DeLamater, J. D. (2012). Sex for Life: From Virginity to Viagra, How Sexuality Changes Throughout Our Lives. New York: New York University Press.

Do Canadians Have Better Sex? feat. Jackie Hoshing

Leah Tidey — Fri, 21 Aug 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I'll be sharing my take on Tik-Tok, answering your questions about masturbation and why herpes is still getting a bad rep even though they’re not that big a deal. Trust me, I’m a doctor...of philosophy, but still, trust me on this! I’ll also be sharing my interview with my neighbour from the south and sexual health educator, Jackie Hoshing, and we’ll be talking about sex ed in Canada versus the US and how they measure up.

Resources from the Show!

Trump Vows To Ban Tik-Tok App from U.S.: https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/trump-vow-ban-tiktok-1.5671606

TikTok Ban: How Chinese App Went From Hotbed of Sex Trafficking and Exploitation to Safe Space for Youngsters: https://meaww.com/Tik-Tok-Ban-Hotbed-Sex-Trafficking-Exploitation-Safe-Space-Youngsters-Donald-Trump-United-States

Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep.): https://www.scarleteen.com/article/gender/is_masturbation_okay_yep

The Best Alternatives to PornHub and XVideos: https://mashable.com/article/pornhub-alternatives-free-porn-paid-porn/

How Herpes Became the Sexual Bogeyman: https://slate.com/technology/2019/12/genital-herpes-stigma-history-explained.html

How to Talk About Sex: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex-partner-communication#conversation-howto

Addressing The Consequences of Herpes Stigma: https://www.verywellhealth.com/addressing-herpes-stigma-3132586

Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity 123 BC Curriculum: https://bc.sogieducation.org/q-a#faq-heading

Planned Parenthood: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/for-educators

Academic Articles

Manago, A., Ward, L., Lemm, K., Reed, L., & Seabrook, R. (2015). Facebook involvement, objectified body consciousness, body shame, and sexual assertiveness in college women and men. Sex Roles, 72(1), 1-14. doi:10.1007/s11199-014-0441-1.

What Birth Control Should You Use? feat. Dr. Penny Wilson

Leah Tidey — Wed, 05 Aug 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about birth control and barrier methods, sexual preferences, and how stoked I am that shows like Sex Explained exist. I also share my interview with Dr. Penny Wilson, a maternity family physician, where we talk about the latest birth control options available in Canada and how your vulva is probably way more normal than you think.

Resources from the Show!

Try Glory Holes for Safer Sex During Coronavirus: https://globalnews.ca/news/7204384/coronavirus-glory-holes-sex/

Nexplanon - Birth Control Implant: https://www.theguardian.pe.ca/opinion/national-perspectives/nexplanon-a-3-year-birth-control-implant-is-now-approved-for-use-in-canada-456342/

The Vagina Bible: https://www.amazon.ca/Vagina-Bible-vulva-vagina-separating-medicine/dp/0735277370

Labia Library: http://www.labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/#

UK’s Great Wall of Vagina: http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/

Island Sexual Health Society: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/birthcontrol/#barrier

Power to Decide: https://powertodecide.org/what-we-do/access/birth-control-access

Three Types of Birth Control Shots: https://www.verywellhealth.com/contraceptive-injections-906874

What is the relationship between physical exercise and sexual desirability?: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233422077_What_is_the_relationship_between_physical_exercise_and_sexual_desirability

How Exercise Can Improve your Sex Life: https://www.health.com/sex/exercise-and-sex

5 Ways Exercising Will Affect your Sex Life: https://aaptiv.com/magazine/exercise-affects-your-sex-life

Twerking for Social Change

Leah Tidey — Thu, 30 Jul 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I'm doing something just a little different. This week I am part of an online conference for the Canadian Association of Theatre Research and I am presenting a short video and podcast. Really it’s just an opportunity for me to discuss what it is I do and how I got a group of seniors and teens to practice twerking! Since I’ve had a lot of folks send me messages wanting to know more about my work, I thought I’d share my conference presentation and then get back to a regular episode next week. I also have a link to the 3 minute video where you get to hear from some of the folks who I work with!

Link to the Video! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aUUHUrQm0w

Resources from the show!

Sex and Seniors: Shaking off the Stigma https://globalnews.ca/news/1425332/sex-and-seniors-shaking-off-the-stigma/

Turning 50? You may need ‘The Talk’ more than your Teen https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/valentines-day/turning-50-you-may-need-the-talk-more-than-your-teen/article29973483/

Seniors are having sex – And some are getting STIs along with it. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health-advisor/seniors-are-having-sex-and-some-are-getting-stis-along-with-it/article27565444/

Getting ‘consent’ for sex is too low a bar https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/18/well/getting-consent-for-sex-is-too-low-a-bar.html?rref=collection%2Ftimestopic%2FSex

Heath, H., & Riddett, J. (2012). The Taboo of Senior Sexuality: Enhancing Staff Confidence. Part 2. Nursing & Residential Care, vol. 14, no. 10, pp. 530-533. Retrieved from EBSCOhost.

Hillman, J. L. (2012). Chapter 3: Attitudes toward Sexuality and Aging. Sexuality and Aging: Clinical Perspectives, pp. 59-81. Retrieved from doi:10.1007/978-1-4614-3399-6.

Leavy, P. (2018). Handbook of Arts-Based Research. Guildford Press.

Lum, J. (2009). Keep on rockin: Sexuality and aging. S.l.: Canadian Research Network for Care in the Community, pp. 1-8. Retrieved from www-deslibris-ca.ezproxy.library.uvic.ca/ID/246084.

Patel, A. (2017). Seniors have Sex – and the STI Rates to Prove It. Global News. Retrieved from www.globalnews.ca/news/3802497/canada-sti-rates-seniors/.

Urban Dictionary. (2019). Twerk: Top Definition. Retrieved from www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=twerk.

Victoria Target Theatre Society. (2017). Target Theatre. Retrieved from www.targettheatre.ca/.

Vissing, Y. (2018). Sexual debut education: Cultivating a healthy approach to young people’s sexual experiences. In S. L. Blair & P. N. Claster (Eds.), Gender, Sex, and Sexuality Among Contemporary Youth: Generation Sex (1^st ed.). Bingley, UK: Emerald Publishing.

Virginity and Marijuana: The Myths and The Meaning feat. Riley Webster

Leah Tidey — Wed, 22 Jul 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer your questions about virginity (like, does masturbation count?!), what that means and how religion can make it that much more complex. I also share my interview with the lovely and brilliant, Riley Webster, all about intimacy, and intentional cannabis use. Riley has worked in the cannabis industry, is a yoga teacher and a writer, has studied Reiki, massage, Ayurveda and is the host of The Kismet Collection podcast!

Resources from the Show!

The Kismet Collection: https://open.spotify.com/show/4qC44FJ0FAOaY07Cvn25wt?si=9bPUVlHARMm7zFj-LIqpSA

Can Cannabis Use Really Help Your Sex Life?: https://www.thestar.com/life/health_wellness/opinion/2019/10/28/can-cannabis-help-your-sex-life.html

How Does Cannabis Actually Affect Sex?: https://www.self.com/gallery/how-cannabis-affects-sex

How Religion Screws With Our Sex Lives: https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/matty-silver/how-religion-screws-with-our-sex-lives_a_23206909/

9 of the Biggest Lies Christianity Tells Us About Sex and Marriage: https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/christianity-lies-sex-marriage/

The Uncomfortable Truth About Sex in a Christian Marriage https://hopejoyinchrist.com/uncomfortable-truth-sex-christian-marriage/

Academic Resources

Allen, P. G. (1992). Pushing up the Sky: How the west was really won. The sacred hoop: Recovering the feminine in American Indian traditions: With a new preface (pp. 194-208). Boston, MA: Beacon Press.

Carpenter, L. M. (2010). Gendered sexuality over the life course: A conceptual framework. Sociological Perspectives, 53(2), 155-178. doi:10.1525/sop.2010.53.2.155

Cha, S., Masho, S. W., & Mezuk, B. (2016). Age of sexual debut and cannabis use in the United States. Substance use & Misuse, 51(4), 439-448. doi:10.3109/10826084.2015.1110177

Jackson, D. (2016). Aging men’s embodied selves: Rethinking aging men’s relationships with their aging bodies. Exploring Aging Masculinities: The Body, Sexuality and Social Lives (pp. 38-55). New York: Palgrave Macmillan. doi:10.1057/9781137527578.

Smith AMA, Ferris JA, Simpson JM, Shelley J, Pitts M, and Richters J. (2010). Cannabis use and sexual health. Journal of Sex Medicine, 7, 787–793.

Vissing, Y. (2018). “Sexual debut education: Cultivating a healthy approach to young people’s sexual experiences.” In S. L. Blair & P. N. Claster (Eds.) Gender, sex, and sexuality among contemporary youth: Generation sex (First ed.). Bingley, UK: Emerald Publishing.

Debunking Menstruation Myths feat. Krystal & Jenny

Leah Tidey — Tue, 14 Jul 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer questions about how to talk to a potential partner when you're sexually inexperienced, how menopause affects your sex drive, and how Covid-19 might just help us talk more openly about STIs. I also chat with the lovely hosts of The Rag Podcast, Jenny and Krystal, about menstruation, menstrual equity, and making things that seem spooky just a little less spooky (yeah, we're talking about sex).

My interview on The Rag Podcast! https://open.spotify.com/episode/2L1Xu29SURZsJPROgsxyPQ?si=lXcpCS1OS0yZJnv9txcuzw

Resources from the Show!

How to Talk About Sex: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex-partner-communication#turn-ons-and-offs

Period Aisle: https://periodaisle.ca/pages/our-story

Best Lubricants for Menopause-Related Dryness: www.healthline.com/health/menopause/best-lubricants-menopause-dryness#1

Grace & Frankie Review: https://reviewandsummary.com/grace-and-frankie-season-6-review/

My article!!

Tidey, L. (2019). Sexy till I die: What applied theatre can offer in approaches to sexual health. Journal of Applied Arts & Health, 10(3), 365–375. https://doi-org.ezproxy.library.uvic.ca/10.1386/jaah_00007_1

Academic Articles

Carpenter, L. M., & DeLamater, J. D. (2012). Sex for life: From virginity to viagra, how sexuality changes throughout our lives. New York: New York University Press.

Ringa, V., Diter, K., Laborde, C., & Bajos, N. (2013). Women's sexuality: From aging to social representations. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 10(10), 2399-2408. doi:10.1111/jsm.12267

Rubinstein, H., & Foster, J. (2013). 'I don't know whether it is to do with age or to do with hormones and whether it is do with a stage in your life': Making sense of menopause and the body. Journal of Health Psychology, 18(2), 292-307.

How Do You Know If You're Bisexual? feat. Jennifer Gibson

Leah Tidey — Tue, 07 Jul 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show, I answer questions about what books and t.v. shows have influenced my sexual identity, addressing my white privilege, how to work through a negative first sexual experience and I share a little embarrassing story. Also, our favourite Sexual Health Educator, Jennifer Gibson, is back for Part 2 of our interview where we discuss our role in creating more equitable spaces as educators, in particular for BIPOC communities.

Resources from the show!

My PhD Research: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aUUHUrQm0w

Island Sexual Health Society: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/

The State of Affairs: https://www.estherperel.com/store/the-state-of-affairs

Pussy: A Reclamation: http://mamagenas.com/books/

The L Word: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330251/

Why There's No Need to Feel Shame About Sex: https://www.mydomaine.com/why-is-there-so-much-shame-around-sex-2982996

Breaking Up is Hard to Do by Blair & Caster: file:///Users/leahtidey/Downloads/ClasterPatricia_2017_BreakingUpIsHardToDoT_GenderSexAndSexuality.pdf

How Do You Share Your Kinks? feat. Jennifer Gibson

Leah Tidey — Tue, 30 Jun 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Today on the show I answer questions about oral sex, mental health, and how to tell your partner about your kinks. Also, our favourite Sexual Health Educator, Jennifer Gibson, is in the house to discuss sex education during a pandemic and our sexy theatre work with teens and older adults.

Resources from the Show!

My PhD Research: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aUUHUrQm0w

Island Sexual Health Society: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/

Love in the Time of Covid: https://psyarxiv.com/e3fh4/

Oral Sex Gap: https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2019/5/3/the-truth-about-the-oral-sex-gap

Enduring Enigma of Female Desire: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160630-the-enduring-enigma-of-female-desire

Pandemic Sex feat. Levi Hildebrand

Leah Tidey — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 04:00:00 -0700

Welcome to the Pilot Episode of the Love Doctor Podcast! On today's show, we talk about ordering condoms on Skip the Dishes and I answer your questions about having a high sex drive, how to climax faster, what parents can do to talk about sexual health, and how to keep things interesting during social isolation. I also interview my husband, Levi Hildebrand, on what it's like to live in a tiny apartment with your partner during Covid-19 and how it has impacted our sex life.

Resources from the Show!

My PhD Research: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aUUHUrQm0w

Enduring Enigma of Female Desire: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160630-the-enduring-enigma-of-female-desire

The Body is Not an Apology: https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/sex-positivity-means-unlearning-shame/

How do Women Really Know if They're Having an Orgasm?: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/nov/25/female-orgasm-research