The Nick Abbot Habit

The Fun Plane

Mon, 04 May 2026 17:30:00 +0100

In these clips from five years ago, Mr Blobby had a spit-chat, there was a lot of trolling going on and much smirking

The Nick Abbot habit is a Global Production

The man who knows everything

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 13:40:00 +0100

In this episode, we were concerned about the climate, we heard of an anomaly from 1976 and there was stress on the railways

Not much COP

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 14:10:00 +0100

In this episode, that follows on from last time, we get a dog training lesson, there was a failed attraction in Marble Arch and a man took a lot of plane rides.

Explaining tennis

Wed, 22 Apr 2026 13:30:00 +0100

In these clips that follow on from the last episode, the build-up to an important game was underway, a water company got corrected a bit and a man got a custom shirt

Is it coming home?

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 14:10:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, 'twas the night before a football game, there was a history whitewash underway and we heard a suggestion for a PM substitute

Minimising the kissing

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 11:15:00 +0100

In these clips from Summer 2021, there was a story about chickens and we were wondering what would happen if everyone put the kettle on simultaneously during half-time.

Football this, football that

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 13:50:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, we had a big game coming up, we were about to be let out and Jacob Smugg became a rapper

Getting football done

Wed, 08 Apr 2026 18:20:00 +0100

In these follow-up clips from last time, it was the eve of the Euro 2020 final, we heard of a hero in space and a Danish couple had an English experience

We're going to win!

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 10:15:00 +0100

It was Spring 2021 and Mr Blobby was in power, we were getting jabbed and there was a big football match to play.

The "B Arc"

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 12:35:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, Mr Blobby was doing his best, footballers were being booed, and I made a prediction that hasn't come true...yet.

The roadmap to normal

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 12:15:00 +0100

It was Spring 2021 and we were about to be let outside, I invented a food item and Mr Blobby took a holiday

A royal eye test

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 11:30:00 +0100

In these clips from 2019, a royal personage had a scrape, another one wore a controversial hat and I got a right ear full.

Go faster!

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 12:55:00 +0100

In these clips from five years ago, we were in the middle of the Invisible Menace and an important football match was played in an odd place, and we found where Donald Trump got his bleach idea from.

Deciding to be amused

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 13:05:00 +0100

In these clips, we were in the middle of the Invisible Menace, the government had no apparent strategy and Donald Trump had just lost an election.

The price of a pint (Part 2)

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 18:50:00 +0100

In this weeks clips, we were bored of redecorations, appalled by a sandwich and we found out why beer costs so much.

The price of a pint

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 11:00:00 +0100

In these clips from five years ago, Matt Hancock tried crying, I wondered who was going to replace Bodger Johnson and I couldn't believe the cost of a round.

The vacuum of integrity

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 10:55:00 +0100

In these clips, i had spotted a spaghetti reference in space, Bodger enjoyed a home glow-up and his fiance was incandescent.

Boris's Banana Boots

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 11:40:00 +0100

In these clips, an inventor told us he was doing us a favour, we were looking for a huge and tremendous trade deal and there was a whole lotta beeping going on.

No shame!

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 11:00:00 +0100

In these clips, we heard about a big dog, a man looked at the sun, and a brainiac left with a box.

The nomadic caveman look.

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 14:20:00 +0100

In this episode of clips from five years ago, we got the view from horseback, I rediscovered a particular writing instrument and we had a big weather development.

Haven't we been good?

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 12:45:00 +0100

In this episode, we were allowed out after a long lockdown, there was an encounter with a lot of guns, and one man shared his unbelievably expensive addictions.

The Curious Furious.

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 10:50:00 +0100

In this episode of clips from five years ago, Prince Phillip had just died, people were shopping and protesting, but only one of those was OK, and Twitter showed itself to be an enemy.

Twitter goes down

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 13:10:00 +0100

In this episode, there was some flag waving, a woman found a scary pastry, and we had an alarming outage.

The Space Hippy, Part 2

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 13:25:00 +0100

In this episode, there was a gnome shortage, we found a curious poll, and we were told what British people want.

The Space Hippy, Part 1

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 11:35:00 +0100

In these clips from Spring 2021, there was a lot of scamming about, we were allowed a haircut after months in lockdown, and there was a mystery surrounding a professor off the telly.

The Grabby Stick of Justice

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 12:10:00 +0100

It was April 2021, and we had been let out for a day during lockdown and had behaved very poorly, there was a furious call from a certain Brian from Stockton-on-Tees, and we got some very bad news about hair.

The penny-farthing delivery service

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 13:45:00 +0100

In these clips from Spring 2021, Mr Blobby was embarrassing us on the world stage, a man was filling in his census, and a lot of people left a lot of rubbish on a rare day out.

His Imperial Hotness

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 13:40:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, we were trying to understand the rules, the lottery paid out £122m, and there was a pre-determined sexiest man contest.

The shameless clot

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 12:04:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, a top Conservative had just released an uncomplimentary book about Mr Blobby and the other Tory toads, I give a lesson in maths, and we find out what you get for £5000.

Lego hair

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 13:53:00 +0100

In these clips from Spring 2021, Piers Morgan had just stormed off a TV set, we were comparing the hairstyles of the rich and shameless, and it was all getting a bit surreal

The Fat Particle

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 11:26:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, people were buying into a nincompoop's act, we were talking about old names, and I had an encounter with the pink boat people.

Sniffing for newts

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 14:31:00 +0100

In these clips from four years ago, Fishi was trying to get us back in the office, a man went brain hunting and someone had a problem with ducks.

Edna, Ethel, Nora and Fred

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 13:39:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, Tory MPs were carrying pints of milk with them, Mr Blobby had just spent £2.6m on a room and we were talking about how certain names weren't popular any more.

A Silly Fishi

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 10:55:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, we were told that a corrupt organisation should take over a corrupt organisation, there's a weather forecast because sometimes hearing a weather forecast from another time is a bit like taking a holiday, and Fishi Sunak told us what was good for us.

Million, billion, trillion

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 14:02:00 +0100

In this week's clips from 2021, we were getting used to being in, we found where some of our money went and a caller had an idea on how to improve everything.

The plutocrats wallpaper

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 13:37:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, we were freaked out by crowds, corrupt people were taking over corrupt institutions and a catastrophic clown show had become unaccountably popular.

The 18th happiest

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 11:19:00 +0100

In these clips from Spring 2021, Mr Blobby had his toys taken from him, there was a happiness deficit, things were getting back to normal after The Thing and we were engaged in patriot games.

A hug-free zone

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 12:04:00 +0100

In these clips from five years ago, we were NOT looking forward to Christmas, The Thing was still among us and The Tangerine Scream had just lost the election

Statues and sausages

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 14:02:00 +0100

In these clips from four years ago, we were talking about a very silly car, Bodger was making noises with his face about freedom and I go on an unhinged rant about the catastrophic clown show of a government

Being unhelpful

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 11:31:00 +0100

It was four years ago and a TV presenter had been mean about the size of Robert Jenrick's flag, Putin was acting nice and Donald Trump was not the President of the USA.

Special Outrage Edition

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 13:35:00 +0100

In these clips from Spring four years ago, I was on the hunt for a bird, people were living in a cave, flag wavers were obsessing about passports and we were looking forward to filling out our patriotic British census.

The Case of the Punched Waxwork

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 10:47:00 +0100

In these clips from almost 5 years ago, the usual suspects were flag hugging, Mr Blobby was the Dear Leader and there was an invasion of TV people.

The empty Ken Doll

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 13:34:00 +0100

In these clips from three years ago, Fishi Sunak was complaining about the press being mean to him, a nice lady had a nice idea to improve Downing Street and Bodger was on manoeuvrers.

The squirty cream 'do

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 16:52:00 +0100

In these clips from three years ago, a woman calls with a hedgehog tale, I wondered about an MPs hair-don't and we talked about comedy overseers.

Happy Days

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 12:14:00 +0100

In these clips from Spring 2022, the government said it was giving us money, fines were being doled out to the little people (not leprechauns) and Will Smith had a moment at the Oscars.

Vladimir Putin's odorant extracts

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 13:57:00 +0100

In these clips from Spring 2022, England were drawn against the USA in the World Cup, there was an update on promises made by those that who said everything would be better if we only did what they said and I had to dump a nice lady for builders' language

Vote Keith Richards

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 12:47:00 +0100

It was Spring 2022 and in these clips a man threatens to not vote, the Tories were celebrating getting fines for partying by having a party and a sheik broke the record for having the most 4x4s.

A Cavalcade of Clowns

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 11:54:00 +0100

It was Spring 2022 and we learned that Mr Blobby was having a party, Jacob Mee-Smugg was banging on about fish and I was transfixed by Michael Fabricant's "hair".

Worst. Present. Ever.

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 10:05:00 +0100

In these clips from early in 2022, I had a brilliant idea about where to put windmills, a lady had received her pet's ashes in the post.

The Cat in the Post

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 10:06:00 +0100

In these clips from three years ago, a man makes a plan for the end, those that remember Jonathan from Harrow will recognise John from Streatham and a woman receives a package in the post.

Not a real human PM

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 12:07:00 +0100

In these clips from 2022, I spoke to a nice lady about Arley Hall, Kate, (out of Wills and Wotsit) was sporting a sporty pair of shorts and I had a cosy chat with a fan of Vlad.

Waving and drowning

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 13:43:00 +0100

In these clips Wills and Wotsit were in the Caribbean, there was an indication as to which party makes you better off and Fishi Sunak went to a garage.

The Bat of Death

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 12:06:00 +0100

It was Spring 2022 and we were talking about the clocks changing, Fishi was squirming and a nice lady had a special sweatshirt made.

The Hum of Guard

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 10:38:00 +0100

In these clips from 2022 we were talking about Elon Musk, who we didn't know very well at the time, there was a first call from a lady who has since become a regular favourite and, following on from last week's episode, I had a call from a man who was furious with Fishi Sunak

How not to pay for a can

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 12:17:00 +0100

In these clips from 2022, the clocks were about to go forward, there was a chill in the air and Fishi Sunak was confused at the till.

The Dainty Twiglet

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 14:15:00 +0100

In these clips from 2022, Mr Blobby was in charge, the government was pretending to be cross at Russian oligarchs, the Tories were having a get-together and were trying to make us forget what they'd done.

The Curious Incident of the Smugg in the Nighttime

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 10:09:00 +0100

In these clips from three years ago, there was a suggestion that MPs didn't like, a woman tells of South Korean happiness levels and I had a dream about Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Jacob Rees-Mogg is dreamy

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 10:10:00 +0100

In this week's clips from 2022, Wills and Wotsit were on a badly judged Jamaican tour, an unlikely person was helping the poor, there was a heatwave in an unusual place and I had a dream about a certain monocled swizzle stick.

On standby

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 11:23:00 +0100

In these clips from 2022, Bodger was still the Dear Leader but Labour had a plan, a prince was our secret weapon and there was a lot of weather about

A blank canvas

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 11:52:00 +0100

In these clips from 2022, I explain American sports, a Boris fan calls and a dull person was the leader of the free world.

Be alarmed!

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 11:16:00 +0100

In a departure from normal, this week's podcast is the entire conversation I had with an expert in artificial intelligence that took place two Sunday's ago quite late in the show, after most people's bedtime. It was entertaining and scary in equal measure and contains some good advice on how to stay safe-ish.

The Roadmap to Freedom

Mon, 26 May 2025 14:46:00 +0100

It was early 2021 and there was talk of R Rates and substantial meals, I had seen a wildlife oddity and an incorrectly shaped ball and we marvelled at the Spanish

You may be entitled to condensation

Mon, 19 May 2025 13:34:00 +0100

In these clips from three years ago, Mr Blobby was referring all questions about his behaviour to someone else, a man calls from the 16th century and a man who knew what he was voting for doesn't know what he was voting against.

One night, two parties

Mon, 12 May 2025 11:53:00 +0100

In these clips, it was early in 2022 and Operation Save Big Dog was underway, one building apologised to another and we were told to move along

No points

Mon, 05 May 2025 12:02:00 +0100

It was three years ago and we were preparing to lose a major competition, we heard about Mr Blobby's pre-party grooming regimen and we had something of a failure to communicate.

Exasperated, raging, confused and flailing

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 11:35:00 +0100

In these clips from early in 2022, a person had a suggestion about Russia before iot all kicked off, the Winter Olympics deliverd a patriotic lift and Mr Blobby had a photo shoot.

Death's Entertainment

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 10:37:00 +0100

In these extra-long special Easter holiday edition clips from three years ago, I had mixed up Adam and Richard Curtis, Storm Eunice was causing havoc and a strange man was seeking efficiencies.

The Soup Nazi

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 18:05:00 +0100

In these clips from three years ago, big eggs were on the menu, someone spent the price of a car on their teeth and there was a weather alert.

Tooth hurty

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 13:52:00 +0100

In these clips from three years ago, the Tories were pretending to value law 'n' order, a woman had a problem with her eggs and Vlad enjoyed his big table.

Grabbed by the Fuzz

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 14:00:00 +0100

It was three years ago and there was an unpleasant footballer cat story, a man demanded action on athletes and Mr Blobby was filling out a police questionnaire.

Keep your thumb in

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 13:47:00 +0100

These clips follow on from last week's, when we were talking about using a well known singing star as a weapon and Bodger Johnson and the rest of the deplorables were filling in questionaries.

Using Barry Manilow as a weapon

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 11:38:00 +0100

This week's clips from three years ago include something odd happening in New Zealand, Smugg had a new job and I had a premonition about the Tangerine Tornado

The pantomime horse

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 11:33:00 +0100

In these clips from 2022, Liz Truss was wearing an embarrassing hat, Bodger was looking for somewhere to hide and a footballer did something he shouldn't have.

A Wasteful Blobby

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 12:50:00 +0100

In these clips from 2022, we were promised a new Bank Holiday and the Queen had a new title for Camilla.

Best. Meal. Ever.

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 13:29:00 +0100

In these clips from 2022, we were wondering who might replace Mr Blobby, gas companies were very happy, Michael Gove had a plan and I had a treat in Florence.

The Democracy Sausage

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 12:58:00 +0100

In this week's clips from when Bodger Johnson was the Dear Leader, there's a banking alert, a Beatles update and in a bang-up-to-date clip, an advert for, or rather, against Britain.

For fox's sake

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 15:55:00 +0100

Following on from last week, in these clips from three years ago, we learn the difference between us and them, find the worst PM in history (apart from the ones that were coming that we didn't know about yet) and there's a bang-up-to-date clip from last weekend that is somewhat mystifying.

This is just a test

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 14:14:00 +0100

It was three years ago and politicians were being "very clear" and "robust" and we were remembering what Sundays used to be like.

Throwing up in Harrods

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 13:26:00 +0100

It was early 2022 and we had a slug problem, a Smugg fan calls and we had a snack crisis.

Being very clear

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 11:40:00 +0100

It was winter in early 2022 and the Prime Minister of the day was a pig in a bottomless pit of it, we wondered who would replace him and I had a call from a Jacob Rees-Mogg fan.x

The Spanish Issue

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 12:08:00 +0100

It was almost exactly four years ago and there was an odd pub move, I was continuing to be confused by a bird, a man had trouble operating his phone and there was a conundrum about Spain.

Ignoring the annoying

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 13:48:00 +0100

In these clips from 2021, we were in the middle of The Thing, the Dear Leader was thinking of opening the pubs, but in a strange way, I was confused by a bird and there was quite a lot of bleeping.

Too much oomph

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 14:00:00 +0100

In this episode, the Tangerine Scream was being disciplined, and as a special Christmas treat, there's a fight between me and Brian from Stockton-on-Tees and the most recent call from Jonathan from Harrow.

An odd plan for pubs

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 11:58:00 +0100

In these clips, there's a woman who makes no sense at length, footballers were ignoring hygiene rules and there's a lot of info on the coldest place on Earth.

Again and again and again

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 14:21:00 +0100

This week;s clips include a novel cure for Covid, a man forms his own party, there's a weather forecast that's worse than what we've got now and some hero news that hasn't aged well.

Beans and the toothpick

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 12:06:00 +0100

This week's clips from 2022 feature a man calling in with a tip, there's a story about The Who and a warning about fuelling up on E.

Whose Who?

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 14:14:00 +0100

In this week's clips, I had been disrespectful to Peru, a lady calls with news about the Sun and I take on the Bank of England.

What's so super about them?

Sun, 17 Nov 2024 16:51:00 +0100

This week's clips feature an alarm going off, we find out how badly we fared under the leadership of Mr Blobby and I think I have detected the real identity of a regular caller.

Floating downstream

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 13:16:00 +0100

This week's clips are from just after the 2020 American election, The Lurgy was still among us and Mr Blobby was the Dread Leader

Confusing the alien

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 14:21:00 +0100

This week's clips are from just after the last American election and include a Pink Floyd relic and I try to change my address.

I lose control

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 15:10:00 +0100

In this week's clips, someone takes control of my system, we talk about Andy Pandy, stamps in passports and a caller misses a certain someone.

The reluctant donor.

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 12:44:00 +0100

This weeks clips include the birthday of The Thing, Smugg said fish were happier after Brexit, a man calls with a solution to our problems and in a bang-up-to-date clip from last weekend, an awful story about organs.

The Royal Issue

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 14:22:00 +0100

This week's clips include Meghan Markle being criticised, if you can believe that, and a man calls with a plan.

Ucking what?

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 12:19:00 +0100

This week's is a podcast of two halves, the first from 2020 when there was a problem with Chertsey, the second from 2021 when there was a problem with Windsor.

The Road Map to Hell

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 10:10:00 +0100

In clips this week, we were talking about mature ladies' disco nights and an odd bird I'd seen runing around.

A road map to Clownland

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 11:29:00 +0100

It was February 2021 and some of us were washing our shopping, a clown had a road map and a woman calls to complain it hurts to laugh

Pardon?

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 11:59:00 +0100

These clips are from when Mr Blobby was still in Number 10, The Screaming MeMe was still in the Whitehouse and The Thing was keeping us inside

What's cooking?

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 14:00:00 +0100

Clips this week from 2021 and from last weekend when I talk to a man about a boat, there's an issue with milk and I chat to a nice lady about school dinners

The big small bird mystery

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 13:01:00 +0100

It was February 2021 and a person called to confuse us, a man is concerned about footballers' behaviour and there's an identity parade for a winged oddity.

Brain Goes Spangles

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 10:34:00 +0100

This week's clips are from late 2020 and early 2021, when we were talking about internet shopping, an old frenemy of the show calls to make a prediction about his favourite topic and a man rings who says he invented something huge.

Powered by humans

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 08:56:00 +0100

This week's clips are from late in 2020, when Priti Patel had been accused of bullying, I pick a fight with a multinational corporation and Donald Trump had lost the election but hadn't started his coup attempt yet.

Banning singing

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 10:22:00 +0100

It was November 2020 and there was a text about a caller you will hear on last week's podcast telling us why she loves Donald Trump so much, and the government were making plans for ruining Christmas.

The Gnome Wrangler

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 12:36:00 +0100

This week's clips are from early in 2021, when we were living in bubbles, or some of us were. There's also a bang-up-to-date clip about the kind of food MPs enjoy in the Palace of Westminster at our expense, which you won't like but may make your mouth water.

She's sorry you're wrong

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 14:02:00 +0100

It was November 2020 and Trump was in the Whitehouse and Boris was in Number 10. Imagine that! Listen out for the most surprising reason to like the Peach Powder Puff ex-President you'll probably ever hear.

There's no evidence

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 18:06:00 +0100

No intro or outro this week as I have totally lost my voice. This week's clips are from just after Donald Trump lost last the last election and I have cosy chat with one of his upset fans.

It's out there

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 10:46:00 +0100

This week's clips are from the run-up to December 2020, when there was a kerfuffle about a Christmas song and a TV advert. There's also a brand new clip from my last Sunday show in which I chat to a space expert about a new development in the search for alien life.

The Toilet of England

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 13:19:00 +0100

This week's clips are from 2020, when The Thing was still about, Donald Trump had just lost and people were furious about a Christmas TV advert

Two straws and a bottle of whiskey

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 12:51:00 +0100

This week's clips from 2020 include a chat with a man with a gun, a prediction about money going to areas that voted for Brexit and how patriotic Brits should eat patriotic British fish

The Fabulous Whiner

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 13:36:00 +0100

This week's clips are from just after Donald Trump lost the last election but couldn't bring himself to admit it.

An Explosive Stunt

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 15:24:00 +0100

This week's clips are from Winter 2020, when the weather bore a striking similarity to Summer 2024. We hear of the departure of a "genius" and what Boris Johnson's other half gets called behind her back.

A Smash and Grab Raid

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 13:58:00 +0100

In this week's clips from 2020, we find out something about a famous railway line and hear of the dangers of a certain type of meat.

All aboard!

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 13:59:00 +0100

This week, a podcast of two halves. There's clips from just after the last U.S. elections and a bang-up-to-date rant about Fishi's battlebus.

The problem with wazzocks

Mon, 27 May 2024 15:24:00 +0100

In a flashback to 2020, in clips recorded before and after the last U>S> election, we rail against a kettle ban, there's an issue with driving in the rain and a genius departs.

The sandwich issue

Mon, 20 May 2024 10:09:00 +0100

No intro or outro this week, I've lost my voice but the clips include a furious reaction about the cheese sandwich issue raised in last week's podcast and the leaf blower controversy howls on.

Thumbs up

Mon, 13 May 2024 12:31:00 +0100

This week, the reviews are in for my leaf blower impression from last week, a nice lady fights back against a kettle ban and there's a cheese sandwich controversy.

The leaf-blower incident

Mon, 06 May 2024 15:08:00 +0100

This week's clips from October 2020 include me doing my nut in park, a man comes up with the idea of a minister for common sense years before the Tories and there's some crazy rules about kettles.

Fury at the Moon

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 13:39:00 +0100

This week, there's grown-ups shouting at a schoolgirl, a Top Trumps game that goes wrong, I have an issue with electricians and there's some confusion about Boris Johnson's media room

A big bit of Polish meat

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 13:13:00 +0100

This week's episode is a total hoot. There's the suspicious amount of money that Boris Johnson spent on getting Russians to furnish a room in Number 10, some outrageous spending by the Home Office and a bang-up-to-date call from last weekend.

A set of steak knives and a fondue set

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 13:50:00 +0100

This week, a child takes a crooked maths test and we find out what the government spends on itself when we're not looking.

Nailing the phone to the wall

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 16:48:00 +0100

This week's clips include a man calling on an old phone, there's a problem with fish and we find a replacement for Prime Minister Boris Johnson but he might need lots of naps.

A holiday invasion

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 10:24:00 +0100

This weeks clips include some wet news from a loch, a reminder of who is responsible for a controversial traffic measure and I pick a place for us all to escape to.

Who's Batman?

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 11:05:00 +0100

It was autumn 2020 and I made a prediction about Donald Trump that Donald Trump tried to make come true and we were laughing in the face of what the world had sent us. Think of it as an historical document with giggles.

Some Like It Not

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 14:24:00 +0100

This week's clips are from October 2020 when a famous American flew in, a woman was freaked out by her phone and there's some controversy about a classic film.

The Silly Mini

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 12:10:00 +0100

This week, we were talking cars, there were some rules about eating that we had to get our heads around, Titchi Suitsize had a plan in his old job and some undeserving types got a massive pay rise

Fun with oven mitts

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 13:56:00 +0100

This week, there's a bang-up-to-date call from last weekend featuring a disgruntled man in Blackpool, some clips from October 2022, which include the 'C' word (not that one) and a rant about bus lanes.

Lights out at 20pm

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 14:27:00 +0100

This week's clips feature a no-fun Tory conference, we were in the midst of The Thing while getting the B word done and Donald Trump takes a test.

A very expensive pooch

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 13:36:00 +0100

This week's clips include a four legged film star, we pull a rat out of the ground to see what the weather will do and a man finds a sexy Brexit benefit

There There is

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 15:36:00 +0100

This week's clips are from the day after we got our sovereignty back and feature me ordering things a restaurant had run out of, Nigel Farage unveils a picture and we got some bad news from China

A celebrity crank call?

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 13:11:00 +0100

This week's clips are from the day after we got our freedom back, we go over the Brexit festival playlist and I get what I suspect is a joke call from a radio star.

A pinch of snuff

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 14:29:00 +0100

This week, I was struggling to sneeze, there was news of exploding meat and fun with a very small camera.

Insects on the brain

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 14:21:00 +0100

This week's clips from four years ago feature an uninvited guest in my head, an apocalyptic call from Australia and a dyspeptic Boris Johnson fan.

The one where I get locked out

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 15:27:00 +0100

Rummaging round some old tapes, I found the one where I tried to break in to my own house. I think you'll like it more that I did!

The dog bowl and the a*** beads

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 14:50:00 +0100

This week, it's a hilarious mash-up of the start of the A-Z of 2019, with a highlight of the A-Z that we just compiled, of 2023. Enjoy!

ET calling

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 17:40:00 +0100

This week's clips from 2019 feature President Trump being himself, I get a call from a spaced man, there's fun with glue, a woman goes off-grid and an alien pays a visit.

The War On Sanity

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 14:28:00 +0100

Carrying on from last week, there's reaction to an electrical expert's electrical problem, a hairy conundrum, a problem with the weight of time and political sense goes up in smoke.

Giving ourselves a clap

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 14:14:00 +0100

This week, we find what Britain is number one at, which war has gone up in a puff of smoke, I have a brief chat with a man who wants to spread the word and an electrical expert calls.

The lights go out

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 13:58:00 +0100

This week is a special all-Donny episode in celebration of the time his plans for a state visit to these shores were turned upside down.

The Moon-faced Numpty

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 15:07:00 +0100

This week's clips from Spring 2019 feature Theresa May as Prime Minister, some Tories were alarmed at the thought of Boris Johnson replacing her, as though that would ever happen, and there's some instructions from high up. Very high up.

The milk criminal

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 14:32:00 +0100

This week, an old adversary calls, I duck out of imitating Ann Widdecombe for health reasons and there's an incident in the kitchenette.

Surfers of Doom

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 13:21:00 +0100

This week's clips are mostly from April 2019 when the right wing couldn't make up their minds on whether they wanted actors to talk politics, there was a wave warning, a smoking police officer with a suspicious lock-up and it ends with a brand new clip from last weekend from a caller who has become something of a favourite

How are your onions?

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 15:57:00 +0100

This week's clips from 2019 include me getting mistaken for my twin Diane Abbott, a man calls with a solution to stress and ladybirds attack.

How's it a sport?

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 14:36:00 +0100

This week's clips from 2019 include me buying a car, Jacob Mee-Smugg says something stupid, a man calls in on hemp and there's two bang-up-to-date calls from last weekend that you may enjoy.

Pink boats and whales

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 17:42:00 +0100

This week's clips are of a protest to skirt round, we go looking for sea life and find an alarming recipe for soap.

Open season on Dames

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 12:07:00 +0100

It was a week of protests against protests, there was a pink boat with a celebrity onboard and we found a possible benefit of sea levels rising.

No spoilers!

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 15:26:00 +0100

This week's clips include talk about polls, I make a prediction in 2019 that came true in 2023 and we were looking forward to the last series of the biggest show on Earth.

What's a black hole like?

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 19:33:00 +0100

This week, in clips from 2019, Mrs M was having a 'mare, we saw a picture of something invisible and take a trip on a magic dolphin.

A problem with time

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 15:39:00 +0100

Following on from last week, there was some disagreement about the next James Bond, a woman falls foul of a dress code and there's a cab on the way that will never arrive.

Picking the next Bond

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 13:37:00 +0100

This week, there's an 007 issue and an irate call from an irate man, I call out Twitterers, predict Donald Trump's future and wonder at French people.

Getting shrunk

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 11:00:00 +0100

This week, I get an appointment with the head doctor, everyone disagrees with everyone all the time and there's a chemical warfare experiment update.

Not the Nadine Dorries resignation letter

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 13:05:00 +0100

This week's clips are a mix of old and very new. From 2019 an old lady picked a fight with all young people, an American explains what Britain was going through and Nigel mentions the war. From last weekend, there's a world exclusive: the resignation letter that Nadine Dorries didn't write.

A little disagreement

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 15:01:00 +0100

It's 2019 and I make a prediction about Donald Trump, have a heated chat with a Leaver who I bet has changed his mind since we talked four and a half years ago, and we remember when Paulie Walnuts got his nails done.

What's 999,800 between friends?

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 15:26:00 +0100

It was 2019 and we were comparing sizes, a lot of people were ringing to tell me I'd "lost, get over it" and there was an eye-witness to Nigel Farage's super-human abilities.

Driving through where?!

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 14:42:00 +0100

In this week's clips from 2019, we were trying to name a prominent Mark, I accurately predict our future, we hear of some unpleasant place names and there's a tale of two marches.

A stream of noise hitting your head

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 14:17:00 +0100

This week, I am at the end of a 16 show-in-a-row stretch and high on carpet cleaner, I plan a total radio takeover and we search for a Good Mark.

The Comedy Parade

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 17:15:00 +0100

This week I overdose on dandruff medicine, Donald Trump attacks Mrs M. and there's a comedy parade of the permanently furious.

The Spring Clean of Mass Destruction

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 15:44:00 +0100

This week, I get a second dose of chemical warfare, we take a trip to see Led Zeppelin for next to nothing at all and Uncle Nigel gets wet.

A short walk on a long march

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 14:42:00 +0100

This week, Nigel takes a stroll, there's the secret to happiness and I get high on carpet cleaner. Those last two are not connected.

High on cleaning fumes

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 14:51:00 +0100

This week, I see vapour trails coming off everything, we get a spy report from Denmark and there's a LOT of happiness about.

Blowing a gasket

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 14:44:00 +0100

It was Spring 2019 and Julian Assange had just emerged from the Ecuadorian embassy, I appear to lose my mind and am disappointed by both the French and a black hole.

He mentioned the war!

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:47:00 +0100

This week, banker waves his money at me, I admit to doing Top Secret work and a man finds something great on a bus.

A right Humphrey

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 11:17:00 +0100

This week, in clips from 2019, I get threatened with half a billion people, there's a car nightmare and from this weekend, two bang-up-to-date callers, one is a Humphrey and the other does the Wokey-Cokey.

1,2,3,4!

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 15:08:00 +0100

This week, the nation gets told off by a Rose, there's a lesson in chocolate, a report from a Ramones gig and I find the origin of a favourite sound clip I play.

Smugg gets comical

Tue, 30 May 2023 10:24:00 +0100

In Spring of 2019, the word "flextention" had just been

coined, Mrs M was doing her best, I'd had a face full of something

poisonous and the Dad's Army recreation society was having a moment.

Brexit ruined my lips

Mon, 22 May 2023 15:18:00 +0100

This week, a lady has a make-up crisis, there was intense discussions between the clown shoe lady and the bearded weirdo and people were stockpiling in case Brexit went badly.

A face full

Mon, 15 May 2023 10:24:00 +0100

It was Spring 2019 and the thought of Boris Johnson becoming Prime Minister came up (oh how we laughed), a man muttered something about the royals taking charge and the House of Commons was spouting sewage.

Your call is important to us

Mon, 08 May 2023 14:08:00 +0100

In this episode, I get picked on by the mayor, we talk artificial intelligence (years before Chat GPT came along) and there's an unfortunate incident with a monkey

Powered by hot air

Mon, 01 May 2023 15:14:00 +0100

This week I get messages from numpties, we talk man-caves and a man called about something we weren't discussing and rather takes over.

Hazza's to-do list

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 15:03:00 +0100

This week, we were being dazzled, Nigel Farage was planning a protest march, Theresa May was busy negotiating and a prince was telling us to live more sustainably

Some grief from the help

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 14:31:00 +0100

In this week's clips, we find out who is responsible for a big TV game show, I fail to win a million pounds on another game show, I get a call from an odd hatchback driver and, in a bang up to date clip, we hear from a person who can speak when he says nothing at all.

Zobidan the Creepy

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 13:14:00 +0100

This week, there's two clips that are bang up to date, one of which is confusing, the other a bit frightening. For the rest of the time, we are in 2019 and it was International Women's Day.

Two unfortunate pets

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 15:07:00 +0100

This week's clips from 2019 include talk about money, Tubular Bells and grits. It ends with a very recent pair of calls from last month, one is a Boris Johnson fan who calls to defend him and a nice lady has a horror story about pets.

Hold the grits!

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 16:04:00 +0100

This week's clips from 2019 include Nigel Farage on a mission, we were concerned about American food and threatened with riots. There's also a very clip from about a week ago in which I was taken to task by a Boris Johnson fan.

I ain't got no class

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 14:58:00 +0100

It was 2019 and I'd had a win on the Lottery, Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson was trying to be frightening, Donald Trump got a health check and Nigel Farage organised a march.

Who?

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 14:24:00 +0100

It's a bit different this week - there's clips from 2019 when Mrs M was in power and the Tories were fighting with anything that moved, there's a question about where's London and this week I've included a very recent clip from this month that I think you may enjoy. I know I did!

Sing faster!

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 14:24:00 +0100

This week's clips include talking about billionaires, a caller expressed themselves in an artistic manner and I give a firm but fair opinion on rugby.

AI and the IQ of MPs

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 14:26:00 +0100

This week's clips are from four years ago when we were

having an oddly familiar conversation, took a peek at the internet and took the bus to Wetherspoons.

Getting caught short

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 14:48:00 +0100

This week's clips are from this time four years ago when the weather was fantastic, Tories were fighting with each other and there was a crisis in a coffee shop.

I have a dream

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 15:15:00 +0100

This week's clips are from early 2019 when Donald Trump was going on about his huge and tremendous wall, we found that the internet is lying to us and we got bad news about Bournemouth.

Don't breathe in

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 15:16:00 +0100

It was 2019 and the kids were having a grand day out to protest about climate change, I learned something about Bournemouth and people were fearing what was coming from the skies.

The kids are revolting!

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 16:47:00 +0100

This week's clips are from 2019 when a certain personage had crashed his car, school pupils decided to do something because adults weren't and there was an issue with bugs.

Going to a better party

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 14:06:00 +0100

This week's clips are from February 2019 when there was a weather forecast that should give up hope for next month, a new political party had been formed that you may already have forgotten existed and we found we were about to get sent back to the Stone Age.

The Cow Issue

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 15:19:00 +0100

This week's clips are from 2019 when we thought we were living in odd times. If only we knew what was round the corner! In these clips, we help an isolated man in Yorkshire and a farmer is very angry with me.

Gibraltar fights back

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 15:12:00 +0100

It was February 2019 and a British colony was under attack, I got animated about the national antem, there was David Beckham news and some billionaires got told off.

A right old ding-dong.

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 15:26:00 +0100

This weeks clips are from 2019 and there's some funny stuff here. There was warnings of food shortages, someone thought that KFC running out of chicken was their way of scuppering Brexit, a caller tried to explain things based on what he understood and some light winter weather had had the usual consequences.

Howzat?!

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 15:21:00 +0100

This weeks clips from 2019 feature me getting confused about cricket, having a fight with some callers, choosing a favourite song and comparing Jeremy Corbyn to a Star Wars character.

What's a nanny do?

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 14:41:00 +0100

This week's clips are from 2019 when we were staring at windmills, dreaming of island living, ruining Pink Floyd and I had an electricity crisis.

More Communist Tripe

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 15:01:00 +0100

We dance around the years in this one. Starting in 2020 for a little light conspiracy theorising, then back to 2019 for a road safety fail and I get a request, which sounds like a demand.

The loudest light

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 14:56:00 +0100

It was Autumn 2020 and a man picked fight about pubs, another honours list was announced, a lady had a controversial cure for the mad bat disease, we looked forward to an important announcement and noticed a household design fault.

Cows with guns

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 13:59:00 +0100

This weeks clips include Donny goes to hospital, as really stupid idea from Gavin Williamson and an even stupider one from Pritti Patel and a rat gets its just deserts.

Strategy? What strategy?

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 14:28:00 +0100

It was Autumn 2020 and there was a rush on in the supermarkets, people were confused about restrictions, some callers sounded very refreshed and there was revolution in the air

The big picture

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 13:52:00 +0100

This week, Donald Trump's fans are confused, it was two years ago and we were all about the bubbles and I get a little too much praise for my part in fighting the Mad Bat Disease.

The Secret of Happiness

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 13:21:00 +0100

This week's clips are from Autumn 2020 when a certain Boris Johnson insisted we shouldn't have parties, we were envious of Swedes (not the vegetable) and there was a protest parade about pretty much everything.

The Hamburger Issue

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 12:13:00 +0100

It was two years ago and there was the curious case of the see-through premier, confusion about Level 42, some concern about burgers and a slight communication breakdown.

The groin issue

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 13:14:00 +0100

This week, Donald Trump's fans get that sinking feeling, the government threatened us to get back to teh office, I lose track of time and a man shares a little too much

Watch out, communists about

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 16:02:00 +0100

This week's clips are from when the English football team proved a disappointment, David Blaine did something odd with ice and Donald Trump flipped out when he saw where he was staying in London.

Irate in Uxbridge

Tue, 27 Sep 2022 10:59:00 +0100

This week's clips are from Autumn 2020 and follow on from last week's podcast, in which a chap thought I should give away all my money, we were reminiscing about the days before Bodger Johnson took over, our new trade deal-maker was announced to be an Australian, and a man in Johnson's constituency was not totally satisfied with everything, especially me.

It's all my fault!

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 13:59:00 +0100

It was Autumn 2020 and I get interrupted by a digital intrusion, I have a heated debate wit a bloke who thinks I am the problem, pick a fight with Australia and America and at the end there's a great call from this weekend just gone.

Strictly who?

Mon, 05 Sep 2022 19:11:00 +0100

This week's clips are from a pretty important period in which the wheels started coming off the clown car, I take a fiery call from one of the usual suspects and fail to recognise some celebrities.

Millions of visitors

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 12:59:00 +0100

This week's clips have people fighting like cats and dogs, I talk about waiting for the music, the government were telling us to go outside after telling us to stay indoors and there's a curious tale about a balcony invasion

Italian food is very dangerous

Mon, 22 Aug 2022 14:07:00 +0100

It was August two years ago and the government were telling us to go back to work after telling us not to, I have some good advice for a TV show set to return and we remember when no-one was allowed in the front room.

16 cats in the kitchen

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 14:38:00 +0100

This weeks clips include me explaining what's wrong with other drivers, I prove that no-one is interested in a cultural institution at the centre of a BIG row and I make a prediction about Donald Trump

Soberish

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 14:13:00 +0100

This week's podcast follows on from last week's clips and features a square sheep, a silly song and raging at roads.

The square sheep

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 09:52:00 +0100

This week's clips we were perplexed by the world's most expensive sheep, I measured the size of Nigel Farage's mouth and people were getting wound up by a song

1.4 billion interesting people

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 15:12:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from the start of the Mad Bat Disease. It hadn’t hit yet but van drivers were thinking about getting security and tourists were told not to act like they were on holiday!

Nightmare house guests

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 12:09:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from Spring 2020 and a man calls from his zoo, a woman calls from her fire engine and I buy a bowler hat.

Sayonara Croydon

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 15:36:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from Spring 2020, in which a lady recreates Noah’s Ark, there’s things you don’t want to see in a pandemic, The Goop Woman Strikes Back, being late for the Sex Pistols and the War of the Worlds.

Vegetables aren’t grizzly

Mon, 04 Jul 2022 12:37:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from the start of the Mad Bat Disease, there were reports of disappointment at the supermarket, we learned how not to get divorced, I had a holiday disaster and received one of the most mystifying calls ever.

These nuts taste funny

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 12:20:00 +0100

This week, there’s new rules about money, a loo with a view, the musty aroma of a pub and I look forward to a dental appointment.

It weren’t me!

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 13:14:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from early 2020 when we were just hearing about the Mad Bat Disease and some people were taking advantage, there’s a phoney French listener with material and a confusing message from New York.

A genius restaurant promotion

Mon, 13 Jun 2022 12:41:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from when we were just hearing about the Mad Bat Disease and include a restauranteur with an idea, a man who offers to subject himself to free beer and panic buying was afoot.

A bucket of mist

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 13:29:00 +0100

These clips include science advice from a self confessed genius, we were trying not to touch our faces and were frightened of running out of toilet paper

Chimps with nukes

Mon, 30 May 2022 12:24:00 +0100

This week’s clips include a mystifying call about the truth, there’s a worrying development in the animal kingdom and Bodger Johnson spies a job creation opportunity.

The bathroom ballet

Mon, 23 May 2022 12:13:00 +0100

This week, there’s the rules of the bathroom dance, we were freaking out about washing our hands and I found that animals are playing catch-up.

The Toilet Issue

Mon, 16 May 2022 09:53:00 +0100

This week’s clips from two years ago include me not getting calmed about a dental visit, the Eurovision Song Contest was imminent and no-one had seen the Dear Leader in a while.

Absent without leave

Mon, 09 May 2022 10:14:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from two years ago when people were wondering where Bodger had got to, as he seemed to have disappeared. Turns out he was selling himself to the highest Russian bidder, a man called with something unfathomable and listeners pick fights with each other.

How much for a toaster?!

Mon, 02 May 2022 00:00:00 +0100

In this week’s clips we were trying to save the planet, one plastic bag at a time, there was alarming news on the price of a kitchen gadget and we hear about the surprising stuff people found in the street.

Flip-flop heaven

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 10:13:00 +0100

This week we were enjoying our all-new passports, a voter is not entirely satisfied with how his decision turned out and I explain why some footwear is ill advised.

Where’s Bodger?

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 14:49:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from two years ago when Bodger Johnson had done one of his disappearing acts, people had started to turn anti-packaging and we get a lecture from a bank.

What’s the Queen on?

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 12:53:00 +0100

This week, we find out something alarming about the pandemic, people were upset about the environment, there was a Friends reunion and we discover where the Queen is to be found.

George Clooney gets swamped

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 15:36:00 +0100

In this episode we have lots of fun with weather and Bodger Johnson’s place gets a touch-up.

How to eat peanut butter

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 11:12:00 +0100

These clips from two years ago include our first taste of panic buying, a listener with material manages to get one by me and a nice lady shares her breakfast routine.

Pasta is very dangerous

Wed, 23 Mar 2022 11:07:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from two years ago when people were panic buying lettuce, Meghan Sparkles had not yet been dubbed the Wicked Witch of the West, I was trying not to touch my face and we learned something alarming about pasta.

Washing your hands with booze

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 22:00:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from the start of our journey through the mad bat disease, when we were experiencing our first supermarket sweeps of toilet paper and we were trying not to touch our faces.

Don’t touch your face!

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 15:00:00 +0100

These clips are from a couple of years ago when I had a Nesquik disaster, we were starting to panic about toilet paper and everyone was going germ-free.

Bodger’s holiday mystery

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 18:00:00 +0100

This week’s podcast has me not complaining about feeling ill, I make a prediction about government policy, we talk about the artist Banksy and we were just starting out on our journey with the invisible menace.

Asking For A Punch

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 15:00:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from when I had a cold and was also suffering from inhaling a foreign object in my sleep but as you can imagine, I wasn’t complaining about it at all!

Something inside my insides

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 11:00:00 +0100

This week there’s more talk of the Death Bat, Donny and Bodger’s relationship sours and I have a go at SUV drivers.

Squirrels in the attic

Mon, 07 Feb 2022 17:00:00 +0100

This week’s clips from two years ago include several animal nightmares, a boat load of people get sent to Milton Keynes, something other than the disease was giving us reason to be concerned about China and we got into James Bond’s car.

Bats in the attic, squirrels in the loft

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 15:30:00 +0100

This weeks clips are from two years ago when we were expecting a storm, we hadn’t yet started on our Covid nightmare, I had a row with a nice lady about an awful man and I was suffering from a fluffy vermin attack.

Inhaling something really bad

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 16:00:00 +0100

This week’s clips include Donald Trump’s weird attraction to a certain animal, there’s an alarming prediction about our future, I take in something that disagrees with me, we were at the very start of the virus thing and Dominic Cummings had yet to test his eyesight, Boris Johnson was our new leader and I get called something I’ve never been called before.

Having someone for dinner

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 14:30:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from two years ago when someone wanted to give Bodger a chance, a man had an interesting idea for dinner and there was a storm-a-coming.

You could see her arm!

Mon, 10 Jan 2022 16:30:00 +0100

This week’s clips are from two years ago, when we had not yet experienced the delights of Covid or a Boris Johnson leadership. The nation was gripped by a wardrobe malfunction and worried about the state of bees and there’s advice on what not to put in your neighbour’s letter box.

A cosy contraception

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 05:52:00 +0100

This week the nation was gripped by an off-the-shoulder number, bees were a problem and a wide range of experts called to talk about things they knew nothing about.

Take me to your leader

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 17:00:00 +0100

This week, I have a fight with the equipment, someone doesn't quite understand a Labour Party promise, a storm is coming in, some people get stuck in Milton Keynes and we realise we are not the brightest things on Earth.

A sexual disease down under

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 16:00:00 +0100

This week's clips are from the first day of our freedom from the Evil European Overlords, I get a proposal from a lady in Croydon, we fail to spot a celebrity, find a dog's worth £10m and discover something awful about a certain cuddly bear.

Fix bayonets!

Mon, 22 Nov 2021 14:00:00 +0100

This week's clips are from the day after we escaped the clutches of the European Socialist Superstate and we were having a LOT of fun. There was a playlist to guess, a portrait to marvel at and a suspicious call from someone who might not be who they said they were.

Dusting your nick-knacks

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 15:00:00 +0100

It was the day after our glorious escape from our evil European overlords and everyone was in a great mood, including me. There was a small cloud on our horizon of a mysterious invisible menace brewing in China but apart from that we were all fired up and full of beans. This show was a hoot.

We're out!

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 14:00:00 +0100

It is the day this podcast has been building up to for a while now and it finally arrived. We left the EU on the 31st of January 2020 and Nick Ferrari was on air for the glorious moment. I followed afterwards and here's a flavour of what happened, with some predictions of what might happen next, which were either very right, or very wrong.

Keep taking the pills

Mon, 01 Nov 2021 15:00:00 +0100

This week, Australia was on fire, China was reacting to a virus that hadn't got here yet, I had a dicky tummy and Donald Trump allowed companies to pollute America's rivers - good job that wouldn't happen here, eh?

Pasta is a vegetable

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 07:53:00 +0100

This week's clips are from the week before we left the Evil European Socialist Superstate, President Tangerine Scream reclassified food, I was bravely putting up with a dodgy stomach and Boris Johnson said something stupid.

Morons on motorbikes

Mon, 18 Oct 2021 14:00:00 +0100

We were just a week away from our glorious future outside the evil EU superstate, word was coming from China about a mysterious new illness and I was recovering from a dodgy oyster.

Earthquake rumblings

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 13:30:00 +0100

This week's clips are from when we were hearing of the invisible menace from China for the first time and I may have been one of the first people in this country to get it. Or it might have been a dodgy bivalve

Solving global warming with a tube

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 14:30:00 +0100

This week, it was the week before we left the European Union to access our perfect new lives, a man calls to tell me about his organ and we solve global warming in one easy step.

To space and beyond!

Mon, 27 Sep 2021 13:00:00 +0100

This week, in clips from January 2020, Donald Trump announced his Space Force, we were a week away from our glorious future outside the Evil European Socialist Superstate and I declare war on trees.

Uh-oh! It begins.

Tue, 21 Sep 2021 07:15:00 +0100

This week, in clips from January 2020, a man wakes up from what sounds like a coma and sees who our prime minister is, the church talk about sex a lot and there's the very first inkling from China that things may be going downhill.

Kook Alert!

Mon, 13 Sep 2021 13:30:00 +0100

This week's clips were from just before we escaped the Evil European Overlords, one lady was very upset about it, there's a spooky prediction about empty shelves and quite a lot of eccentric callers.

Keeping the ball rolling

Tue, 07 Sep 2021 12:00:00 +0100

This week, there's some calls so impenetrable you'd need to be Alan Turing to figure them out, Sajman Jav slips up and we learn who is the backbone of this great country.

More than one moose

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 14:30:00 +0100

This week's clips come from when Hazza and Sparkles were causing consternation by not following the script we had written for them, we were about to be free of our European Socialist Overlords, The Tangerine Scream was still in the Whitehouse and quite a few callers were not completely satisfied with me.

Worst. Trifle. Ever.

Mon, 23 Aug 2021 15:30:00 +0100

This week, people were obsessing about the colour of their passports, there's crisps and chocolate at the same time and Hazza and Sparkles were threatening to leave.

Party Planning

Mon, 16 Aug 2021 15:30:00 +0100

This week's clips are from just weeks before we gained our freedom from the Evil Socialist Superstate and someone was planning a celebration. I get a call from an old enemy and one from a customer who is not completely satisfied.

Can you spare a Bob boy?

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 12:30:00 +0100

This week's clips are from days before we ascended the sunny uplands of our glorious future and left the Evil Socialist Superstate, the nation was searching for loose change, Donito Mussolini was flexing his muscle and it was all a bit "Dad's Army".

Bonging for Britain

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 15:30:00 +0100

These clips are from just weeks before we first heard about an invisible menace in China and we were occupied by other matters like what Hazza and Sparkles were going to do next and, most pressingly, how we should celebrate our glorious exit from the Evil European Superstate.

Flimflam and twaddle

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 15:30:00 +0100

We are in January 2020 when we were bathing in the glory of a new leader and the invisible menace was yet to be heard of. There's the best TV shows, a unique way of funding the nation's favourite institution and all eyes were on Hazza and Sparkles.

The great escape

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 13:00:00 +0100

These clips are from January 2020, just before we left the EU and before we heard of the invisible menace that was just around the corner. There's quite some chat about the royals and an old friend of the show calls to talk about "algorithms".

Cruella the puppy stealer

Mon, 12 Jul 2021 13:00:00 +0100

This week's clips are from January last year and we were talking then about many of the things we are still talking about now. A heartless, evil woman from far, far away had come to steal our precious puppy, World War 3 looked like it was about to begin and an "expert" calls.

Mind the bull

Tue, 06 Jul 2021 13:00:00 +0100

This week is a bit spooky as a good few months before we had ever heard of the virus, the idea of wearing masks and working from home came up, along with something odd in a farmer's field and even weirder up a skyscraper.

Introducing 'I've Been Thinking with Peter Frankopan'

Thu, 01 Jul 2021 16:00:00 +0100

Hi, Nick Abot listener, We’ve got another brand new podcast we think you’ll enjoy. ‘I’ve Been Thinking’ is a new weekly show hosted by Peter Frankopan. As well as being a best-selling author (Silk Roads), Professor of Global History and Oxford and voted as one of the World’s Top 50 Thinkers, Peter uses this podcast to speak with some incredible guests looking at topics from around the world that help understand and explain the past, present and future. Guests include former Director of the FBI James Comey and Chinese artist & activist Ai Weiwei. This is a taster of what you can expect from the show. If you like what you hear please search for I’ve Been Thinking with Peter Frankopan on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts.

The 16th Show in a Row

Mon, 28 Jun 2021 14:30:00 +0100

This week's clips are from the end of a marathon run of shows over Christmas 2019. Donald Trump had just bombed Iran, Australia was on fire, someone commits a milk crime and I declare war on daytime TV.

Panic at the Tesco

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 12:00:00 +0100

This week, the clips are from just after New Year 2020 and we take a trip round the new Prime Minister's love nest hideaway, wonder why there's no female equivalent for a "toyboy", dampen a singed wallaby and get a foretaste of panic buying in the supermarkets.

Getting deep

Mon, 14 Jun 2021 12:00:00 +0100

This week's clips are from early 2020 when it looked like World War 3, there is a lot of rage around, just like today, and I go into what I think that is all about.

Introducing 'If It Bleeds It Leads'

Fri, 11 Jun 2021 10:00:00 +0100

Hi Nick Abbot fans – we have a new True Crime podcast we think you’ll enjoy called ‘If It Bleeds It Leads’ Could you be a criminal? What separates the way you think, from the criminal mind? Join the world’s leading professor of criminology, Prof. David Wilson and star of Silent Witness Emilia Fox as they discover what’s really going on behind some of the most notorious crimes. What do you do with have-a-go heroes who try to stop you robbing a bank? What's it like inside an escalating prison riot? And how do you deal with Britain’s most infamous hitman telling you he's been ordered to kill you? In this podcast series you’ll hear from offenders, the police, crime experts and investigators as we delve into the workings of the criminal mind. Here’s a sneaky peak and the first Episode drops on Monday 14th June. If you like what you hear search for ‘If It Bleeds It Leads’ on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts.

Getting whacky with the doc

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 12:30:00 +0100

This week we go behind the scenes (allegedly) of doctor wotsit off the telly, I get attacked by a fan of the kooky president of a kooky country and there's an incident in the Pound Shop.

You've got what in your muesli?!

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 11:10:00 +0100

This week we are forced to pick a seat in the cinema, the EU take our windows away, a strange argument is used for eating on the bus and I get put right off my breakfast.

The Belly Button Inspector

Mon, 24 May 2021 12:30:00 +0100

This week we cover everything in chocolate, find something awful on the bus, wash our shopping long before covid appeared and eat off a tree.

All you need is lion dung

Mon, 17 May 2021 12:00:00 +0100

This week: Kier Starmer's hair, what to do with a squirrel, getting a takeaway from the zoo and what not to eat on a train.

Guess who was more popular than Boris

Mon, 10 May 2021 12:00:00 +0100

This week, some time traveling between when Boris Johnson was elected leader of the Tories and how we felt about him two months later, there's a certain Nigel getting hit with a tasty treat and something weird about baked beans.

Going in the right direction

Tue, 04 May 2021 07:45:00 +0100

This week, in clips from two years ago, which proves that nothing much changes, Boris Johnson has a fight over furniture, I get schooled in the delights of Bon Jovi and we find out which country's people think they are going in the right direction (not who might think).

Boris Johnson ruined my sofa

Mon, 26 Apr 2021 08:00:00 +0100

This week's is a hoot - there's a reminder of how unreliable summers can be and a tantrum on the tennis court but mostly there's a lot of shouting and crashing coming from Boris Johnson's girlfriend's flat.

The Spice Girls versus Metallica

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 08:30:00 +0100

This week, we were contemplating the Tory leadership contest horror show, there was a spy report from a certain woman-group concert and I pick a fight with a heavy metal band.

What colour is a blue egg?

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 10:00:00 +0100

This week a re-match with an old sparring partner, trying to see Madonna from the cheap seats, how to get a new bike and who to blame if thing's aren't going your way.

Madonna costs how much?!

Tue, 06 Apr 2021 17:15:00 +0100

This week, there's a shocker about Madonna, I get interrogated about drugs, there's a disagreement about Genesis and Donito Mussolini picks a fight with one of ours.

Fun with maths

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 12:30:00 +0100

This week, the comical demands of the Tangerine Tornado when he wanted to stay with the Queen but couldn't, an up-to-date shocker about the world's most expensive room and a young person calls and gets caught in a game show.

Cheating at golf

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 15:30:00 +0100

This week, the return of the naked cyclists, Donny kicks balls and I explain magnets.

Fighting with a sinner

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 16:30:00 +0100

This week, magnets in space, naked cyclists and how to catch a social disease (not related).

The Conservative Drug Taking Competition

Mon, 08 Mar 2021 15:00:00 +0100

This week, in the race to become our next Prime Minister, the candidates have a spliff-off, Donald Trump titillates the Queen and what a San Francisco tram smells like.

Impersonating a national treasure

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 15:30:00 +0100

This week, a news clip that will delight a certain section of the country who will never get tired of hearing it, having a laugh with the Marxist Brothers and how to spend £40 billion.

Friends without benefits

Mon, 22 Feb 2021 15:30:00 +0100

This week, how we avoided World War Three, which politician looks like a Lord of the Rings character, what 5G will make more difficult and who's fault is everything!

The blimp is back!

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 16:00:00 +0100

This weeks clips are from Spring 2019 when the country held its breath for the arrival of Cheeto Mussolini. The Baby Tornado was going to blow into town and some people had made special preparations.

What does a stoned cat look like?

Mon, 08 Feb 2021 12:00:00 +0100

This week, a cat goes cold turkey, we find a use for the spice jar at the back of your cupboard and a certain orange tornado was planning to visit.

Alien sex alert!

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 16:30:00 +0100

This week a certain Baby Tornado was due to arrive at the Palace in April 2019, there's a mystifying call about drugs from a person who may be familiar with them and some alarming news of very personal outer-space visitors.

Power surge!

Mon, 25 Jan 2021 19:30:00 +0100

This week, a man complains to an unlikely individual about his electricity, I conduct a very brief chat with an old "friend" and we talk pot a lot.

Exit the Baby Tornado

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 12:30:00 +0100

This week I mix clips from April 2019 with one bang up to date from last weekend in honour of the departure from the Whitehouse of the Tangerine Scream. Plus there's some alarming news for people who like to...you know...do it.

A total eclipse of the Queen

Mon, 11 Jan 2021 14:30:00 +0100

This week, a certain tangerine nightmare was planning an invasion of this country. This week's clips are from two years ago, when everything that happened this month seemed entirely predictable.

ET is your father

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 17:00:00 +0100

A bumper festive issue that has aliens, commandments and meat and is stuffed full of fruits and nuts.

A spooky premonition

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:30:00 +0100

This week, I see into our future, mix a cocktail for a tube train and fight a dwarf warrior in Middle-earth

Don't eat the "chocolate"

Mon, 07 Dec 2020 17:45:00 +0100

This week there are a LOT of facts thrown about and even I learn something. There's a very surprising piece of information about solar panels, we learn why cows are better than boats and there's a little hot fracking action.

A car that goes whooosh

Mon, 30 Nov 2020 16:30:00 +0100

This week, a boat gets dismantled by law experts, how to shame Denmark and there's a hint of automotive trouble to come.

This podcast is an education!

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 15:30:00 +0100

This week, we get educated about things that go boom, some eco-ists get threatened with bascules and an airborne menace that's not the virus.

The solution to all our problems

Tue, 17 Nov 2020 12:30:00 +0100

This week, there is nothing like a dame on a mission, the next best thing to having a car and the answer to our stressed out, frantic lives.

Introducing Hunting Ghislaine with John Sweeney

Fri, 13 Nov 2020 14:15:00 +0100

Hi Nick Abbot fans LBC have a new podcast we think you’ll enjoy - Hosted by legendary reporter John Sweeney, Hunting Ghislaine is a 6 part series about Ghislaine Maxwell, the daughter of a disgraced billionaire and the former partner of a super-rich paedophile who killed himself while awaiting trial for sex trafficking. After hiding for almost a year, she now finds herself facing multiple charges for helping Jeffrey Epstein sexually exploit and abuse under-age women which could lead to her spending the rest of her life in jail. In this new podcast series, Hunting Ghislaine, reporter John Sweeney investigates a fairy story which happens the wrong way round, of how a princess ends up accused of being the monster and no-one at all ends up happily ever after. First Episode available 19th November. Listen on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts

Baby soap (not what you think)

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 13:37:00 +0100

This week, the IQ of frogs, buying a car while your head is swimming and the slightly controversial but sustainable way to clean yourself.

The purple hair brigade

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 13:13:00 +0100

This week, we're off to sea on a beautiful bright pink boat, a Dame hoves into view and London is given back to the people.

A big bag of nutty slack

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 15:00:00 +0100

This week, we find that we are melting while zooming through space while out of control. I school the youth to do their bit and the EU is corrected by a furious lady in Blackpool.

That's what Donald Trump is made of

Mon, 19 Oct 2020 14:00:00 +0100

This week, the clips are taken from a year before the virus had been heard of but there is a spooky message of what was to come, we marvel at the size of a politician's tubers and if you want to make your own Donald Trump, the recipe is right here.

Introducing "What Next?" with Lionel Barber

Thu, 15 Oct 2020 11:04:00 +0100

Hi Nick Abbot fans LBC have a new podcast we think you’ll enjoy - Hosted by Lionel Barber, the former Editor of the Financial Times, What Next? focuses on life after COVID-19 and sees the multi-award-winning journalist and author discover how the world is adapting to the pandemic, what needs to change and, most importantly, what lessons we have learnt that will shape our lives for the future. Each week, Lionel will be speaking to some of the biggest leading influential figures in the health, politics, business, technology, arts and environment world, such as former Prime Minister Tony Blair; Elizabeth Cousens, President and CEO of the United Nations Foundation; ITV’s Chief Executive Dame Carolyn McCall and many more. Follow Lionel on Twitter: @lionelbarber. Listen and subscribe now on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts

It's a car crash!

Mon, 12 Oct 2020 15:45:00 +0100

This week, in clips from Spring 2019, there's a prediction about where the next financial crash would come from (subsequently proved to be WAY out), an automotive expert calls to correct me and I have a go at Donito Mussolini (so unfair!).

A whiskey, a light ale and a whine

Mon, 05 Oct 2020 15:00:00 +0100

This week's podcast is from a show recorded before the world had ever heard of that bloomin' virus and includes a little light altercation about a subject that used to occupy us before all this hit the fan, multiple people raise a complaint, a man finds a winning ticket and one chap who has no idea who I am, and barely knows where he is, calls after getting completely refreshed.

The Mayor killed my car!

Mon, 28 Sep 2020 11:30:00 +0100

This week's podcast is from last year when I went to war with the Mayor of London (he started it), I survive a builders' dust incident and there is a horrible image of two people kissing.

The birth of a new old wave

Tue, 22 Sep 2020 16:10:00 +0100

This week, the cleanest party launch ever, a man with a weird way of saying things rings in to say a lot, the perils posed by poorer people and the price of a cab.

A stickler for rules

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 12:40:00 +0100

This week I find myself agreeing with some people I never thought would be on my side, I have a stand up row about money and a woman calls who swears she isn't drunk.

The man who knows a LOT about wind

Mon, 07 Sep 2020 13:45:00 +0100

This week, top of the non-season to you. As a helpful primer, we learn when to tell your kids there's no Santa, an orange giant rails against windmills, there's the smallest and most disappointing food delivery ever and what not to put in your bath.

It's the most magical time of the year!

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 16:05:00 +0100

This week, we celebrate Christmas very, very early. Jesus' personal friend calls in, I am bemused by Quentin Tarantino, Boris Johnson is revealed to have a cunning plan, I have an altercation at the lights and how to avoid get ripped off.

Don't make predictions!

Mon, 24 Aug 2020 14:18:00 +0100

This week, there's a crush at the shops, I spy Steve Allen's Bentley and a listener with material gets a joke past me without me noticing.

Why Boris Johnson is like Star Wars

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 11:00:00 +0100

This week, we investigate the similarity of electing Boris Johnson and waiting for a new Star Wars film, I have a right old row about a subject that used to be top of the news before a certain little something unseated it, and the alarming state of what's outside.

Unpolitically incorrect

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 12:30:00 +0100

This week I make a prediction which could not have been more wrong, there's a close encounter with a personal explosive problem, I launch an attack on a weapons manufacturer and have a shouting match about politeness.

A toff can't take his top orf

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 13:05:00 +0100

This week: there's a lot of weather about, all of it the wrong sort; a man has an issue with electric cars; an upper class twit fails a test and what ice caps are really for.

Nick predicts the future

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 12:30:00 +0100

This week I have a frighteningly accurate guess at the future, we hear a couple of plans to save the world, a man uses a device to get in touch that I bet you haven't used in decades and we hear how valuable our opinions are.

Don't eat the sprouts!

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 12:30:00 +0100

This week: the danger on your dinner plate, how to greenify your car, ripped jeans and the total destruction of Planet Earth.

Cows on a bus

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 12:33:00 +0100

This week everything breaks but makes a very nice colour, a man is scared of Trumpists, Super Puff Planets (whatever they are) and one of those give-up-something-for-a-month things.

What does Boris Johnson look like wet?

Mon, 06 Jul 2020 15:05:00 +0100

This week, a listener with material gets one by me, a weather update from Sudan, my glamorous assistant gets corrected, I give bad advice about what to do during a roadside sobriety test and we find out what makes Dutch people laugh.

What should we do with Australia?

Mon, 29 Jun 2020 12:30:00 +0100

This week, I get shouted at a lot by people who don't believe in climate change, I wonder if you can switch off the internet and make plans to re-purpose Australia for the benefit of the planet.

A celebrity's random act of kindness

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 11:10:00 +0100

This week, we learn how to say "Bowie", I recount everything I learned at university, a mystery is solved and there's a happy encounter with a star.

You can't say happiness without saying...

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 12:54:00 +0100

This week, I am deluged by weather, a listener with material manages to get a joke on air and a very confusing man explains who he is disappointed with.

Fun with numbers

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 11:50:00 +0100

This week it is an educational podcast full of verifiable facts, some of which are also true. There's bumps in space, weather control machines and the price of tomatoes.

The Breakfast Buffet

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 11:00:00 +0100

This week, a reminder that a certain controversial beanie hat model has been making news for quite a while, what to eat for the most important meal of the day, what happens when ice melts and are breaks important on a car.

A reminder of who we voted for

Mon, 25 May 2020 12:05:00 +0100

This week I have a major rant about climate change, we learn what to have with a beer, how to prevent your car from being stolen in South Africa and what to do when presented with something that makes you look bad.

Frisk the dog

Mon, 18 May 2020 11:00:00 +0100

This week: how to ruin a planet and where to live when you're done; what goes with beer, cider and blackcurrant; the way to raise children and how many is too many.

Fruit flavoured beer?

Mon, 11 May 2020 11:40:00 +0100

This week: how to ruin a perfectly good beverage, defending Marmite, funny badges and titles and a LOT of weather.

Does size matter?

Mon, 04 May 2020 11:40:00 +0100

This week: Steve Allen's Bentley, the B-side that became an A-side, why DIY usually fails and I'm asked how big is Boris Johnson.

The route to endless happiness

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 11:00:00 +0100

This week a woman plots the path to eternal bliss, a man ignores his smoke alarm and we find who or what is a Victorian unit.

What's an app then?

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 11:00:00 +0100

This week, I school a lady on the subject of the internet, there is an ingenius solution to a warning light problem and love the Belgian way.

Darth Vader is a bad parent

Tue, 14 Apr 2020 09:15:00 +0100

This week: Star Wars, smart speakers fight back, a man tells me to get on my bike and I have to correct my glamorous assistant.

The Orange Baby Tornado

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 13:00:00 +0100

This week, I revisit the time when I locked myself out, a woman makes an emtional plea to the young, a chap has an altercation with a youth and...LOOK OUT!..Ancient Orange is coming our way.

Picking a fight with Facebook

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 13:15:00 +0100

This week, there is a lot of Neil Young, a rant ot two about (un)social media, the importance of knowing how many animals you have, the pros and cons of Coldplay and how to get what you want by using pads.

The Un-Groovy 60's

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 13:00:00 +0100

This week a man admits to doing something we need but rarely see, there's a whole lotta boomer-bashing going on, where not to grow up in the 1960's and a stand-up row about class.

She likes me, she REALLY likes me!

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 12:10:00 +0100

This week, I receive an alarming amount of praise, the plans to make you drive like a robot, Trump's family whines and an electrical expert speaks.

Where's Larry?

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 12:00:00 +0100

This week there's a little light to-do over the Queen's stuff, a man wants MPs to not do their job, the mystery of the disappearing cat and the Big Rice Debate.

An old friend makes a comeback

Mon, 02 Mar 2020 12:00:00 +0100

This week, the story of a strange return, an illuminated jacket saves the world, top 11 reasons why Trumple Thinskin is nuts and a fight about babies.

Donald Trump has behavioral issues

Mon, 24 Feb 2020 13:30:00 +0100

This week, a rock and roll roadie refuses to spill the beans, there's cats on drugs, some concrete has a birthday and a home selling problem.

Casting the LBC panto

Mon, 17 Feb 2020 14:30:00 +0100

Description: This week: your personal, private rules of the road; a little light sarcasm; tracksuits; a message from afar and a tale from even further.

The World's Worst Breakfast

Mon, 10 Feb 2020 13:00:00 +0100

This week, I make the mistake of reading the leaflet that came with my pills, try to recall the name of the second best Star Wars film, Donald Trump tells us about his wand and how to cook chips.

The Cost o' Coffee

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 12:30:00 +0100

This week there's squirrels, turtles, clapping and the perils of going to the cinema. I get asked a very difficult question and robots laugh at our culinary skills.

The Earth's got wind

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 14:14:00 +0100

This week, an alarming discovery in Siberia, a lively disagreement about a particular sport, I read the pamphlet that came with my pills and insects doing maths.

Using superglue to save the world and win £100

Mon, 20 Jan 2020 12:00:00 +0100

This week, after Extinction Rebellion was briefly listed as a terrorist organisation, we revisit the time when the pink boat people took over central London and had a surprising effect. There's also a little light cat massaging, Pink Floyd ear worms and a very difficult way to earn money.

The one where I lock myself out

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 12:00:00 +0100

It turns out that it is frighteningly easy to lock yourself out and incredibly hard to break back in again

The Curious Incident of the Intruder in the Night-Time

Mon, 06 Jan 2020 12:00:00 +0100

This week, someone overcomes the laws of nature and defies death, there's a chap with a delicious accent talking about Baby Yoda, a priceless chat with the "algorithm" man and I receive an unwelcome visitor in the dead of night.

What not to put on your strawberries

Wed, 18 Dec 2019 10:20:00 +0100

This week , Donald Trump's scary blimp, a little light political fighting, the EU bans dying and I find a friend in a friend of Jesus.

Buying a slightly used, second hand pet

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 12:00:00 +0100

This week, we go back to the summer and learn about Theresa May's Brasier, there's the Bob Dylan v Kylie Minogue Heavyweight Championship Ultimate Smackdown, we sing the praises of a certain type of cat and a man in Dallas speaks French.

Pills, thrills and badminton rackets

Mon, 02 Dec 2019 12:46:00 +0100

This week, we learn about loos on the 8.03, the type of pills you should never run out of, there's a rant about drivers, the great insect war hots up and what one man looks for in a woman (not what you would ever think).

Mr Whatabout and Mrs Shoutsalot

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 13:20:00 +0100

This week, I am pummeled by volume, a caller asks an incredible question, a discussion about economics that was decided by two falls and a submission and there's a peek behind the scenes of my radio show.

Fun with carbon dioxide

Mon, 18 Nov 2019 12:00:00 +0100

This week, I go to the seaside, get a lesson in science from someone who knows less than I do, there's a heated debate about the value of the royals and a woman complains about my volume.

Cats, bats, lotto and blotto

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 12:00:00 +0100

This week is a hoot-and-a-half. There's tales of misdemeanours at the highest level, an offensive but cute cat story, what it means to be British and I get shouted at a LOT!

How to pick a fight with everybody

Mon, 04 Nov 2019 12:50:00 +0100

This week, a caller has a go at all of my other callers, a man doesn't like my atitude, a woman talks about her knees and I sign up for Mad Max Fury Road 2.

The Phantom Nose Picker

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 16:30:00 +0100

This week, we finger a guilty party, a woman has a bin rant, the problem with the England football manager and fashion.

The Classic Rock 'n' Roll Issue

Mon, 21 Oct 2019 14:05:00 +0100

This week, there's some controversial things said about political opponents, a classic call about cheese and a lot of rock and roll.

The problem with time travel

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 12:00:00 +0100

This week, we go back..way back...back into time, a great double act call in, I try to get a GP appointment and saving the planet with Prince Harry.

When getting what you want isn't what you want.

Mon, 07 Oct 2019 11:00:00 +0100

This week there's a message from a small green Muppet, we relive a famous domestic incident, a foreigner commiserates us for our choice of leader, the most miserable countries are ranked and I miss something that I always said I didn't want.

How to deal with unwelcome guests

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 12:00:00 +0100

This week, we learn of a terrible use for hairspray (nothing to do with Donald Trump), a man complains about his job, how not to watch Pulp Fiction and what Boris Johnson's name says about him.

It's good to talk

Mon, 23 Sep 2019 11:45:00 +0100

This week there's a lot of people calling me on the phone with terrible tales about using their phone and losing their phone. There's stories about flying phones, emergency dialing, a missing sixpence, getting lost in the Fens, extra chillies and keeping things for best.

There's electricity in the air

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 08:00:00 +0100

This week, we stick our fingers in the socket to stop the electricity leaking out, I am left bewildered by a caller that I can't quite follow and we find the source of Boris Johnson's popularity.

Losing consciousness

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 11:00:00 +0100

In this week's riotous podcast, we hear there's (no) evidence of God, I hatch a shocking plan to deal with our most disappointing politicians, a man tries to come up with one good reason to leave something that doesn't exist and I try to make sense of what the hell is going on.

Steve Allen's smalls and a lesson in ganja

Mon, 02 Sep 2019 11:00:00 +0100

This week, we strike a trade deal with a very unlikely place, eliminate poverty, fit Jacob Rees-Mogg with a Home Guard uniform and broom handle, root around Steve Allen's sock drawer and I get schooled by a Jamaican man on ganja (he schooled me on ganja, not was ON ganja...although come to think of it...)

Now hang on a minute right

Mon, 26 Aug 2019 11:00:00 +0100

This week I play Simon Cowell and discover a star, there's lights in the sky and they aren't stars and I get a lesson in politeness.

The War on Cows

Mon, 19 Aug 2019 10:49:00 +0100

This week we get skooled in writing proper by Jacob Rees-Mogg, we try to play Fortnite but we aren't dressed right, a man tries and fails to explain the weather and there's an alarming suggestion about how to stop global warming.

The Alarming Toilet Episode

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 10:50:00 +0100

This week my glamorous assistant shares too much, I get a lesson in moaning from a man in the theatre, the moon people come out at night and a shocking revelation about what actually goes on in the loo.

An explosive answer to crime

Mon, 05 Aug 2019 12:37:00 +0100

In this episode we hear of an alarming way to combat crime, we discuss this nation's sporting excellence, a man calls in with his head in his hands and a woman clears up after herself because it is the right thing to do.

How wide is a cow?

Mon, 29 Jul 2019 10:57:00 +0100

This week, I get a history lesson from Austria, the mystery of why people fall for the Tangerine Scream, a solution to your stress, and a man has a problem with his tool.

Nude wrestling for Number 10

Mon, 22 Jul 2019 10:59:00 +0100

This week: a caller starts a massive fight about Europe, we learn the truth about democracy, I am taken to task about something I didn't say and Boris Johnson is challenged to go naked mud wrestling.

A small personal explosion

Mon, 15 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0100

This time, we learn just how boring French TV is, there's a lot of talk about kebabs, a woman calls in with a question but doesn't like the answer and I have a special moment that I couldn't help but share.

Smiling and waving

Fri, 05 Jul 2019 13:42:00 +0100

In this episode: I am corrected by a furious cab driver; a lady complains about James Bond; a man asks many questions about Trump, Boris and God; we fly the flag for Britain and someone calls in with an answer to crime - all of it.

Is there a psychologist in the house?

Fri, 28 Jun 2019 13:52:00 +0100

This week, I get told off for getting something right, a bewildering call comes from someone with qualifications, we get sniffy about phone boxes and the tale of the Sunday Laundry Criminals.

Up to our knees in Glastonbury

Fri, 21 Jun 2019 13:02:00 +0100

Glasto is not the only show in town but it is certainly the biggest and that's where we go this week, with a detour to Farageland, advice on tents and a little light arguing about the "B" word.

Mr Grabby Hands Hates Electricity

Sat, 15 Jun 2019 17:14:00 +0100

In the age of the 24 hour-a-day multiple news-gasms, let The Nick Abbot Habit be your guide. It's fast and funny and sometimes furious. All opinions are correct, apart from those that aren't. Plus Nick's favourite calls from his cult weekend talk show. Guaranteed no baking or dancing.

What do you call it if you can see the sea?

Fri, 07 Jun 2019 10:18:00 +0100

This week, we take a peek at 1970's bathroom suites, find out a lot about islands, I have a fight with a man about cars, someone spots A John Cleese (not THE John Cleese) and we discover what a major industrialist thinks of his old boss Donald Trump.

Flushing your loved ones down the loo.

Fri, 31 May 2019 12:30:00 +0100

This week, helpful callers have excellent advice for Theresa May, who may not like it; there's an unseemly way to serve strawberries; how to say 'scone' and a man in a bra fills a bath with potatoes.

The Eurovision Fight Contest

Fri, 24 May 2019 12:51:00 +0100

In this episode, I receive a very brief call from God's representative on Earth, we go yodeling in Holland and there is a minor altercation about Brexit and Trump.

How to water your plastic lawn

Fri, 17 May 2019 15:44:00 +0100

This week, we learn how to save water by brushing your teeth funny, how to waste water by keeping your fake grass moist, how to lose money by letting politicians mark their own homework and I have a stand-up fight with a man who doesn't think I'm taking Brexit seriously.

Kicking them in the ballots

Fri, 10 May 2019 10:16:00 +0100

This week: some people spoiled their ballot papers and one man was very proud about it; a perfectly believable theory on why that might not be a good idea and a pretty good joke about it; saving money without really trying and a woman has a beef with Scotland.

Intimate relations with aliens

Sat, 04 May 2019 08:36:00 +0100

This week, the shortest call to my LBC show, a man gets a surge, a young woman deliberately shuts out the on-line world and the US Navy says aliens from space are here and a professor says they are breeding with us.

Digging for victory

Mon, 29 Apr 2019 08:16:00 +0100

This week, we talk cars and pink boats, weird science, a man from the bank protests his innocence and we go fondling tubers.

Cats versus dogs - there can be only one winner

Tue, 23 Apr 2019 11:04:00 +0100

This week: which pet makes you happiest, swinging with Nigel Farage, pronouncing Anunzianzioozit and a shouty woman bangs on about the war.

The Great Brexit Lipstick Catastrophe

Fri, 12 Apr 2019 14:07:00 +0100

This week, the effect that Brexit is having on your personal facial area, the competing stories on the origins of Easter eggs, how we are paying for the private jets of the super-rich, the spy in your car, Game of Thrones returns and a very energetic senior citizen sets us straight.

The James Bond elimination game.

Fri, 05 Apr 2019 10:14:00 +0100

This week, we terminate some superspy candidates, over-eat chocolate treats, there's a lot of marching going on and a confused man sets me homework.

Marching (some of the way) for freedom.

Fri, 29 Mar 2019 12:32:00 +0100

In this episode, the inside scoop on Nigel Farage's Stroll to Nirvana, the army is on standby to keep a lid on things if our exit celebrations get out of hand and an American explains what's happening 6000 miles away in Britain.

Warning: Do not alight on the Isle of White

Fri, 22 Mar 2019 18:26:00 +0100

This week, the perils of a day trip to the south coast, the worst drivers on the road, a little light heavy music and I get told I'm not doing my job correctly.

Away with the birds

Fri, 15 Mar 2019 13:33:00 +0100

Some of my favourite calls from the past few months, which I think are properly hilarious. There's the man who got locked in the toilet, the lady with the sparrows in her garden, the shortest call about Brexit ever and the nice Liverpudlian who got a big surprise from Amazon she didn't really want.

Saving the planet one pie at a time

Fri, 08 Mar 2019 00:01:00 +0100

A man goes mad about fish, two people fight over Theresa May and the secrets of the gorgeous pictures on the front of our food packets.

It's not our party but we can go if we want to

Fri, 01 Mar 2019 06:00:00 +0100

This week, we fail at walking the dog, we pay for the rich to go skiing, there's a new party in town and tips on where not to live by the people that live there.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Fri, 22 Feb 2019 18:22:00 +0100

In this episode: Career choices for teens; Donald Trump's physical shows he is part human; an arthritic slow moving political coup; France plays nice and two people shout at me about a member of the royal family.

Our get up and go just got up and left.

Fri, 15 Feb 2019 13:52:00 +0100

In this episode: you are invited to a party but you might not want to go, the alarming dangers that come with our pets, the unfit-for-fighting army and the man who fell asleep while on-hold for my show.

Trump's good genes and sea food fights back

Fri, 08 Feb 2019 14:41:00 +0100

We find out why Donald Trump is that colour, a menu leaves a bad taste in the mouth, the attack of the killer octopus, a man sues his parents for being his parents and two callers school me on Brexit.

He grunts and squeaks and squawks like the Mafia.

Thu, 31 Jan 2019 16:59:00 +0100

Norman pushes drugs, Roger talks like a Mafia Don and global warming is a hoax because it is cold outside.

Boris Mounts a Hoe

Fri, 25 Jan 2019 14:19:00 +0100

This week: Boris Johnson channels Churchill (again); relying on the Chinese to save us from the dark; the soothing properties of furniture packaging; who should not be the next James Bond and two absolutely furious callers to my LBC show.

Prince Harry's new boiler, the RAF's new toys and a VERY ANGRY VEGAN.

Fri, 18 Jan 2019 15:18:00 +0100

Prince Harry's new boiler, the RAF's new toys and a VERY ANGRY VEGAN.

A Merry Christmas Special

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 18:16:00 +0100

In this episode: Donald Trump saves his energy, zombies are alive (ALIVE!) beneath your feet, bore holes, Blackpool and babies.

Trump fans have tiny weenies

Wed, 05 Dec 2018 09:03:00 +0100

In this Christmas-free episode: Chips, glorious chips, the gaming industry takes on the fishing industry and the gaming industry wins, Harry and Meghan play fixer-uppers, an insight into what motivates men to love Trump and in this week's favourite call from my LBC show, a very nice lady is not satisfied with her shopping exerience.

Christmas is Cancelled

Thu, 29 Nov 2018 09:19:00 +0100

This week: Santa cracks the whip, Donald Trump has been a naughty President, Theresa May is popular (oh yes she is!) and the most rock 'n' roll story ever. Plus, two nice oldish ladies get confused by technology in the series of best-of calls to my Friday and Saturday night show on LBC.

No need to wait - the future is now

Wed, 21 Nov 2018 13:11:00 +0100

Your next doctor will be a robot. The thing you ordered online will be delivered by an automaton using magnets. We are all about to have our jobs terminated by The Terminator. But don't fret - there's good news too. Full details inside.

Nick Gets Corrected

Fri, 09 Nov 2018 17:45:00 +0100

In this episode: the destruction of everything we hold dear, a giant statue made of your money, why we work too hard for our own good, a very angry caller and a very famous actor sticks his oar in.

Theresa May's Magic Dust Cloud and Donald Trump's tiny mushroom

Sun, 30 Sep 2018 23:00:00 +0100

In the first of this series of brand new Nick Abbot podcasts: Donald Trump rates his sexual performance, Theresa May gets a lecture on the mating rituals of hedgehogs, Nick tells some jokes that made the actual news and a favourite call about the birds and the buffaloes to Nick's weekend shows on LBC