The UnMothered Podcast

Do You Mourn Your Past or Do You Champion Who You Are Today? | Episode 131

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

Do you ever look back at the younger you and feel sadness?

Are you afraid to make changes now because it is comfortable staying in this place, even though it makes you mourn what could have been? The journey to start changing some of the habits and hurts in which you came from can be tricky. Some of those old ways are easy on some level, and changing everything around can spin your head!

Don’t be afraid of change! Let’s explore what happens when you start the process of getting into a healthy place but wonder if it’s too hard or too scary with the “unknowns”.

P.S. It’s okay to cry over things that didn’t work out.

My book, UnMothered No More, is now live on Amazon! Go check it out today: https://a.co/d/06GruRTZ

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Become Confident In Your Own Life | Episode 130

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

As we start the new year, I think this is an interesting topic to talk about. What kind of rooms do you want to be a part of? What is your worth? Where do you want to shine?

Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about being sure to surround yourself with a few good people you can trust, and also knowing which circles to be in. It is really about knowing your worth and being confident (sometimes for the first time) and not looking for outside affirmation.

This is sometimes hard when you haven’t been shown self-esteem or confidence in yourself. I think we can agree that God is the only one who can help you feel your best as He walks with you to show you what true “self-confidence” looks like, but let's explore how we can get there on our own.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Generational Dysfunction of A Parent | Episode 129

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

One of my favorite shows had a great scene about generational dysfunction but this time it was a conversation between father and son.

Listen in as we discuss how fathers rarely talk about their abusive history, but when they do, it can change everything!

My latest book is now available for pre-order! UnMothered No More is a healing guide for daughters who long to break free from generational dysfunction, with honesty, compassion, and the wisdom of lived experience. I will walk alongside you through journaling prompts, prayer, and practical tools using the same practice I use in my own one-on-one coaching program. Click the link below to order it today!

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Are You Hiding Your Emotions From God? | Episode 128

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 20:15:00 -0800

Do you bypass your emotions because it feels like you are less spiritual? Do hard emotions freak you out? Do you tend to fill that uncomfortable feeling with busyness?

This episode is for you. Let’s find out why you think emotions are only to be tended to for other people, but not you.

You might be surprised by some answers.

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Learning to Forgive an Abusive Mother After Years of Pain and Trauma | Episode 127

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

I recently was a guest on the Counter Culture Podcast with host Tina Griffin and was able to share so much of my story!

Phylis Mantelli was raised in a violent and abusive home with a mother who didn’t know how to show love or kindness. With so much trauma and pain in her past, Phylis felt lost for many years and dealt with her hurtful past in unhealthy ways - but God wasn’t finished with her story! Today, Phylis is an author and speaker, and she recounts her story of surviving her mother’s abusive behavior as a child and later, as an adult, breaking through the pain of that abuse and trauma to become a daughter who forgave her mom and recognized that God loved them both. She talks about the “body, mind, and spirit” connection in spiritual and mental health, and details the 16-year journey that led her to not only forgive her mother but also love her.

🔗 CONNECT WITH COUNTER CULTURE MOM

https://linktr.ee/CounterCultureMom

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Is Your Role As A Step Mother? | Episode 126

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

What role do you play if you are a stepmother? Do you treat your own daughter differently, or do you include all kids together as one?

After reading a post on social media about this very subject, I had to dive into this storyline. Let’s get into what a “mama mentor” really looks like.

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

New Year, New Resolve | Episode 125

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

How many times have you set New Year’s Resolutions only to feel like a fool for not completing them?

Don’t look at it as resolutions as much as intentions to move forward with the dreams you think about and don’t know where to start.

Let’s break it down and also give yourself grace that not everything has to be completed this year, let’s just move the needle

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | Can You Save The Relationship With Your Mom? | Episode 104

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Can you have a relationship with your toxic mother?

The answer is easier than you think, and it’s totally up to you and no one else. Let’s explore different ways you could possibly have a relationship with your mother if you think it could work.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | But It’s Your Family: When Should You Stop That Excuse? | Episode 75

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Part of breaking generational dysfunction is to stop allowing the excuse of, “But it’s your family.”

When do we stick by family because it’s family, and when do we have to decide on something better? Over the years I’ve come to a realization that loving families show up and it’s a safe place, not a place that makes you more miserable when you are around them.

Knowing that unless THEY (your mom or family member) want to repent and change AND show that difference over time, you are not required to “hang in there”. That serves no purpose and you will never change the dynamic of your future life or family.

Stand strong in this journey of breaking generational dysfunction.

Remember you have a community here. If you haven’t joined “The Unmothered Community” our private group on Facebook is growing each day, and I have a lot of new plans for these amazing, strong women in the future. Just answer 3 questions and you are welcome to join us!

Family is not just the people who gave birth to you, but people who show up and love well!

Check out the book I mention: "But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath" by Dr. Sherrie Campbell: https://bit.ly/3X387yj (this is a affiliate link)

The movie mentioned is “Hillbilly Elegy” which is the true story of VP Candidate JD Vance.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | Is Your Mom Too Enmeshed in Your Adult Life? | Episode 95

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Does your mom think she’s your best friend? Some mother-daughter relationships blur the line between love and control, with moms inserting themselves into every aspect of their daughter’s life—where they live, what job they take, and even how they dress. Often, this stems from a deep fear of being left behind or an unfulfilled need to relive experiences through their child.

While their intentions may not always be harmful, the emotional toll can be overwhelming. This episode unpacks the signs of an overly enmeshed mother, the impact on daughters, and the challenges of setting boundaries. Breaking free isn’t easy, but recognizing these patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your independence—without the guilt.

✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✔️ Why some mothers struggle to separate their own identity from their daughter’s life

✔️ The subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways control and guilt come into play

✔️ Signs you have an overly enmeshed mother

✔️ The emotional toll—and how to break free

✔️ How to set boundaries while maintaining (or redefining) the relationship

📖 Quote from the Episode:

"In a healthy relationship, the bond between a mother and her daughter is meant to be a flexible, malleable connection that can withstand distance, conflict, and differences." — Susan Forward, Mothers Who Can’t Love

💡 Final Takeaway:

Breaking free from an over-involved mother can be tough, but true freedom comes from standing firm in who you are—even if it means weathering her disapproval. Your life is yours to live.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | The Qualities Of A Healthy Mom vs. A Toxic Mom | Episode 107

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

What are the qualities or differences in a healthy Mom versus a toxic Mom?

Big differences in my opinion. Is there such a thing as a perfect mom? I haven’t met one yet, but I know we can always do better than what we have grown up in if we have, in fact, grown up in toxicity.

Let’s talk about what each of these kinds of moms looks like, and see if there is any improvement that needs to be made on our part to be the kind of mother we dream of.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | Your Mother's Issues Are Your Mother's Issues | Episode 1

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

As I was channel surfing, I stopped on The Bachelorette. I never watch this show anymore, but of course, I was curious! I swear God wanted me to hear this. Gabby Windey was on a date, and they were talking about family.

His parents had been married forever and loved each other fiercely. She started telling him about her fractured relationship with her mom! When she graduated, her mother wrote her off …she started to cry. It broke my heart. She excused herself and was crying to the producers. They asked her what “triggered” the reaction.

If we look at the history of where your parents came from, chances are there has been a lot of dysfunction for many generations. It may have started with them, but it ends with you! You have the potential to end the cycle of dysfunction and unhappiness.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Gratitude is Everywhere This Time of Year | Episode 124

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

How do you show gratitude when everything is falling apart?

Can you find the blessing in the midst of the storm? Digging through this tough time is where your faith grows, but it is tougher than most think.

Let’s find the joy that God knows your pain and still will have good for you moving forward.

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Your Body Does Keep the Score When A Sudden Death Happens | Episode 123

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

What happens to your own body when a loved one takes their own life?

It’s a touchy subject and not one everyone can talk about to their friends. It’s still a taboo subject and one riddled with guilt and shame.

Everyone wants you to move on, but your body is keeping score.

It’s time to find out how to help yourself process that trauma within.

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Motherhood and Different Cultures | Episode 122

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Are we too protective and private in our motherhood journey?

I know for some of us, we have put up walls to protect, but what if there was a community that could come alongside you and walk with you through it all! Other countries do it; we need to take a note from their playbook.

Today I am taking the advice of my oldest daughter, Ariel, and reading an eye-opening book called “Please Yell at My Kids” by Marina Lopes. If you have ever wondered if you are doing the right thing in your motherhood journey, this is a must-read! I am so happy to share these insights with you today as we explore what other cultures think about motherhood, giving birth, grandparents' roles, community, and so much more!

Affiliate link to the book: https://bit.ly/4qQdcbr

https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered-no-more

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Mothering Without A Map | Episode 121

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Can you become a good mom without a map? Has your dysfunctional childhood warped your parenting skills?

I was asked this question as a guest on a podcast recently, and I wanted to dig through this a bit deeper because I thought it was such a great question!

Lord knows I didn’t do motherhood perfectly, and I was fearful of everything, but we have to let our children fall sometimes so they can learn the lesson of how to pick themselves back up.

We can become awesome (not perfect) moms in spite of how we grew up. You just need to be willing to unpack the things that were not healthy or safe and replace them with good, loving habits!

🎙️I just had the opportunity to be on The Counter Culture Mom Show with Tina Griffin where we discussed Forgiveness. May it help you and your family!

VIEW ON VARIOUS PLATFORMS

Download the Counter Culture Mom App: https://bit.ly/landingpageCCM

Click THE CCM SHOW

Then select PLATFORMS

Apple Podcast link: bit.ly/CCMApplePodcast

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Behavior Modification vs. Spiritual Formation | Episode 120

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Do you fake your way through life? Is behavior modification a regular “go to” for you? Does it look good on the outside, but you are spiritually weak on the inside?

Is it possible to learn new brain pathways AND join your brain and faith?

Let’s find out.

Check out the other Capo Beach sermons on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CapoBeachChurch

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Does Your Kindness Attract The Wrong People? | Episode 119

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0800

What happens when you attract the wrong people because you are giving and kind?

Well, I think the answer lies in the reason why you feel you have to be so kind all the time to everyone. Maybe you were the peacemaker in your family, or the caregiver.

Now you think the only way you can get love and affirmation is to DO IT ALL!

Let’s dig into the “why” of being kind at all costs.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do You Cry When Your Narcissist Mom Dies? | Episode 118

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0800

What happens when there are BIG EMOTIONS surrounding the death of your toxic mother?

Do you react the way you thought you would? And what do you do with these emotions once they hit?

We will explore all of this in this episode, and, of course, it all stemmed from a show I was watching that involved mother-daughter dysfunction.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Can You Have Compassion Towards Your Narcissist Mother? | Episode 117

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Should you have compassion for a mother who is hard to love?

I was talking with one of my clients when she asked this question. This can be thought provoking depending on the relationship you currently have with your mom. Also, what happens when she might need more from you than you can give? Do you go to her aid?

Let’s find some common ground so you don’t get burned or burned out, and she respects your boundaries for peace.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Describes The Ultimate Toxic Mom | Episode 116

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 00:00:00 -0800

What do you do when the mother you trusted with your life, who was so supportive and loving towards you, becomes the monster in your life?

I recently watched the Netflix documentary called “Unknown Caller,” and this is a tough one. In the episode, I am giving the ending away, so if you haven’t seen it yet, go watch it and then come back to listen to this episode!

Let’s talk about how this documentary showed me what real emotional abuse from a mom looks like, and how we can sit, listen, and show compassion to someone else if this has happened to them.

Have you seen this documentary? What did you think?

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do You Know How To Trust Your Own Instincts? | Episode 115

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Do you trust your instincts?

Has your mother or someone else made you feel like your opinions don’t matter? It happens when the enemy sees your beauty and passion and wonderful calling and is trying to kill it.

Don’t let him. You have to trust that God has given you the Holy Spirit that you can trust. Listen in to hear what I have to say about this.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Would You Tell Your 20-Year-Old Self? | Episode 114

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 00:00:00 -0800

What would you tell your younger self?

Have you ever looked back at your life and said, “Well, that didn’t happen the way I planned it?”

I think it’s great to have a plan of what you picture your life to be, but I would recommend learning to pivot a lot. I often tell young women and my own girls that their twenties are their crying years.

Let me take you through the reality of what can happen when you take a detour down the road a bit. Don’t fret, dear one; the best is yet to come!

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Mother I Truly Needed vs. The One I Got | Episode 113

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Where did we go when we needed a mom who was caring, attentive, and present, but what we got was completely different. Our mothers were absent, ignored us, and on some occasions, abandoned us altogether.

In today’s episode, we are going to explore a real and honest question: “What did I actually need from my mother that I never received?”

We get to the heart of the matter and get honest with ourselves about what we need and what we need to do now.

You may have never received those things from your mom, but you can give them to yourself and bring them into your family if you work at it.

Let’s discuss how.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

It's Time to Let the Kiddos Leave For College…Now What? | Episode 112

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0800

The kids are leaving. What happens now? Where do you go now if your whole personality has been that of a mommy to these young children?

You have to let your children fly. Don’t clip their wings, or they will never know how to survive in the world without you. Make them successful for the world, not just for that moment

Just remember that you've done a really good job, and they can be independent, it’s a good thing for them!

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Have You Made Silent Agreements or Vows From Your Past Trauma? | Episode 111

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0800

How many times have you allowed someone else’s words, comments, or declarations of who you are to stick on you like absolute truth?

Is it time to peel back the layers and see if this is something the enemy likes to use as a weapon and keep you from being the wonderful woman God wants you to be?

He made you to shine!

Let’s dig into this together and help you discover your authentic self.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do You Have “Spidey Sense” Because of Your Broken Childhood? | Episode 110

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Do you have “Spidey Sense” when it comes to emotions?

Were you the one who always made sure everyone, but especially your mom, was okay? Could you feel the tone of the room as soon as you walked through it?

You might be doing this now in your own family.

Maybe it’s time to take care of you and stop worrying about everyone else to the point of your own decline in health, mentally and physically. Let’s talk about using this skill to your advantage, not your detriment.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Happens When Your Toxic Mom Gets Sick | Episode 109

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0800

What do you do when your mother wants you to take care of her during an illness or while recovering from surgery?

Do you go?

Do you walk away from her demand to help?

The answer is so layered, but one thing is sure: don’t do it out of guilt! Let’s figure out a plan so you don’t regret your choice, no matter what that choice is.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | Are You The ‘Black Sheep’ Of The Family Or The Truth-Teller? | Episode 62

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0800

We are taking July off to enjoy a much-needed summer vacation! We hope you take some time to relax this summer as well, and we will chat with you back in August. In the meantime, enjoy some of the most downloaded episodes!

How do you define the black sheep in the family?

Has this label been placed on you because you don’t abide by the dysfunction in your family?

There is a difference between being the troublemaker or the truth-teller. If you are just trying to survive in a highly abusive family situation, you learn to fight and stand on your own.

Do you always make the right decisions? Not always, but who does when they are young? When I think about how we get labeled as troubled or a hard child, I think we should look deeper into the family dynamics instead of automatically blaming the child.

So what can we do if we are the one that has always been labeled in this way?

As I’ve said before, journal out any thoughts or struggles you still may have regarding this issue. You might be surprised at how much stuff comes up. Remember, you are not what other people tell you; you are who God has said you are.

He has a purpose and a plan for you, even if you have to walk through rough waters to get there.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | The Truth About Growing Up With Emotionally Immature Parents | Episode 31

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0800

What was it like growing up in your home?

In my home, I felt like I was constantly dealing with a teenager or even a child. While at the time I just thought this was ‘normal’ I later understood that it wasn’t. When you grow up with a parent who is emotionally immature and can’t be the adult in the family relationship it can feel like their needs are paramount to yours. They are physically there, but not mentally. There was no room for me to feel anything, and that is why I am so passionate about finding my voice even to this day.

Our feelings count!

We keep hoping it will get better. We make attachments where there shouldn’t be any. With her. With others. I figured out a lot of my need for recognition comes from this. However, just because you grew up this way, doesn’t mean you need to parent in the same way. Break off these generational patterns.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | How To Handle Your Toxic Mom & Her Relationship As A Grandmother | Episode 77

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0800

This week's episode came as an anonymous request through my weekly newsletter, Tuesday Talks With Phylis (link in bio to sign up or head to my website!).

Let’s talk about the do’s and don’ts of letting our children be a part of our mothers’ lives and what do you do when your toxic mom wants to be a part of your children’s lives?

Can we let them have a relationship with their grandchildren even though we have a dysfunctional one? If there is a special relationship that your mom has with her grandchildren, you can set a boundary around it. But if she isn’t respectful of your rules or intentions then I think you need to set some limits.

Listen to your kids! If they are not comfortable being around her, respect that too. Your children will find their voice if they feel safe with you and know how to speak up. Don’t use your kids as pawns in this family game. Listen and watch.

We are not trying to be cold mamas that just cut off our moms for no reason. There is no easy answer to each individual situation, and I won’t be someone who will say “Do it this way or else!”

What I know about God is that He will take things we don’t understand and do what he plans all along. We can’t be in control of every little thing, but we can have hope that maybe our children’s relationships can be beautiful. If not, then we can be the safety for them that they need to stay away from someone who could hurt them.

The choice is ours, with prayer, common sense, and thought. I’m praying you find peace with all of this!

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | An Emotionally Immature Mom vs. A Narcissistic Mom; What Is The Difference? | Episode 72

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Over the past few years, I’ve been studying the different types of toxic moms. Imagine my surprise when I started studying about toxic parenting and realized my mom was emotionally immature AND narcissistic!

I never knew what to expect from my mom from one day to the next. It was exhausting trying to figure it all out. It made so much sense, but also it hurt to see that her characteristics were so manipulative.

As I look through each of these problems, I have a story to match each of them. I bet you do too. I pray you find a way to keep working through this and start making change worthy behaviors where you don’t get bogged down with your mom’s immature, toxic behavior.

Know that immature parents have been raised by immature parents. This has to stop with you! You must be the chainbreaker in your family! God has given you this assignment, do it well and show the family you raise that those kinds of behaviors will NOT happen in your home.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Has Your Past Caused You To Grow Up Being Afraid? | Episode 108

Mon, 26 May 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Do you get scared or anxious from ordinary things in your life?

Can it be tied to past traumatic events? Sometimes the things we react to now are a direct result of the trauma we have gone through as children.

We tend to fall into patterns to keep ourselves safe, or so we think. It can keep us prisoners in our own bodies.

Learn how to recognize some reactions and start the process of digging through to get to a healthier place.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Qualities Of A Healthy Mom vs. A Toxic Mom | Episode 107

Mon, 19 May 2025 06:00:00 -0800

What are the qualities or differences in a healthy Mom versus a toxic Mom?

Let’s talk about what each of these kinds of moms looks like, and see if there is any improvement that needs to be made on our part to be the kind of mother we dream of.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Happy Mother’s Day: A Daughters Perspective To An UnMothered Mom | Episode 106

Mon, 12 May 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Let’s bring on my daughter on today’s episode and talk about the good, bad and better of moms!

Bringing on my daughter can help us understand as moms how we can learn from daughters and the next generation.

Listening to them helps us be the best moms we can be.

Let us know how you like this episode! Please leave a review or send us a message over on Instagram. We would love to connect with you.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

UnMothered Sons: The Hidden Wound Men Carry | Episode 105

Mon, 05 May 2025 06:00:00 -0800

In this powerful and emotional episode, we explore a topic that's often overlooked in conversations around childhood trauma — what happens when men are the ones who were never mothered? What does it look like when a boy grows into a man still carrying the ache of a mother’s absence, and how does that wound ripple through his career, his relationships, and his future family?

Inspired by the shocking real-life story told in the documentary Con Mom, host Phylis dives into the haunting truth about what happens when a man is so desperate for a mother’s love that he overlooks red flags, ignores his instincts, and ends up losing everything — his money, his relationship, and his newborn son.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

The emotional and psychological impact of being an "UnMothered" man

Why unresolved childhood wounds can distort adult decisions

The hidden ways men cope with abandonment and emotional neglect

How silence around male trauma leads to generational dysfunction

The importance of healing, open communication, and emotional honesty

If you’re a man carrying the scars of being UnMothered, this episode is for you. It’s time to stop pushing through the pain in silence. Get support, speak your truth, and take the first step toward healing — for yourself and for the next generation.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Can You Save The Relationship With Your Mom? | Episode 104

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Can you have a relationship with your toxic mother?

The answer is easier than you think, and it’s totally up to you and no one else. Let’s explore different ways you could possibly have a relationship with your mother if you think it could work.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Life After You Break The Habits & Patterns of Old Beliefs | Episode 103

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0800

It’s time for you to create some healthy inner talk and stop believing the lies your moms have told you!

In my past episodes, we talked about the different ‘types’ of mothers. Today, we are going to touch upon what we need to do to break away from these narcissistic, controlling, overly enmeshed moms.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do You Have a Calling To Write Your Story? | Episode 102

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Have you ever thought of writing a book?

Is a memoir something that God is calling you to? He did for me, and it wasn’t something I ever thought I would do, but has become one of the best things I have ever done.

If you are curious, listen to this episode and see if this will confirm what you have been thinking. If you need help getting started, contact me…I’m here to help!

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Perfection & Control: Breaking Free To Find Peace with Christine Hoy | Episode 101

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0800

I had such a great conversation with our guest today!

Christine Hoy speaks to women who feel overwhelmed by life's demands and the relentless pursuit of perfection. She had no idea that the emotional and physical burnout she experienced caring for her terminally ill mother would lead to a spiritual transformation in her own life. Answering God’s invitation to a year-long season of rest, Christine learned how to surrender control of her life and move from self-reliance to an ever-deepening trust in God.

A Christian writer and speaker, Christine is on a mission to help other women experience this freedom from perfectionism and discover healing, restoration, and unshakeable peace in their own lives. She shares these life-changing lessons in her book Peace Beyond Perfection: Overcoming the Fear of Not Being Enough.

Christine lives in West Michigan with her husband and their white lab, Zeus—and loves being “Gigi” to her two grandsons. You can connect with her at www.christinecarterhoy.com

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

THE 100TH EPISODE!!! | Episode 100

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0800

How did we get to 100 episodes on this podcast already?

Well, come listen and celebrate with me as I walk back down to the beginning of this journey! Thank you so much for being such a great support!

I appreciate all my fellow UnMothered's and can't wait to chat with you all for the next 100 episodes!

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Were Some Moms Just Never Meant To Be Mothers? | Episode 99

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0800

We have probably all heard the statement, "some moms were just never meant to be moms" but is that true? If you think of the worst toxic mom in your imagination, what would she look like?

Some things I’ve been reading (and a few I’ve experienced) are “ignored, abusive, gaslighting, and mentally ill.”

These kinds of moms are vital to go “no contact” with. It would be for your safety. This is a hard episode, so I am warning you, that you might want to skip it if you might be triggered.

For the rest of you, it might be a road map to explain some things that have been hard to answer.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Did You Grow Up Being The Mother To Your Mom? | Episode 98

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Are you responsible for being the mother to your mother?

When you have grown up with someone who is very manipulative and needy, it can in some ways feel good. What you find is that over time, it is exhausting and there is no end to what they take from you emotionally, physically, and mentally.

You should be the child, NOT the mother!

How do you break away from this needy mom who makes you take care of her? Listen in because I have had a front-row seat to this kind of mother!

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Healing From The Impact Of A Controlling Mother | Episode 97

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Let’s take a deep dive into the traits of a controlling mother.

Did you grow up with a controlling mom and what exactly does that look like? How can it affect your self-esteem, decision-making, and relationships?

While we may not be able to change our mothers, we can change how we react and set boundaries for ourselves. Drawing insights from Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, PhD, we’ll explore the steps to healing, standing up for yourself, and breaking free from the emotional grip of a controlling parent.

By understanding these dynamics, you can stop relying on your mom’s judgment for love, and begin the journey toward reclaiming your independence, building confidence, and forming healthier relationships for generations to come.

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might need it. Let’s continue this conversation and work toward healing together.

Key Takeaways:

✅ Your mother’s controlling behavior is not okay, and you have the right to establish firm boundaries.

✅ Seeking therapy and support can help you stand up for yourself and make independent decisions.

✅ It’s natural to make mistakes when learning to navigate life on your own—embrace them as growth opportunities.

✅ Surround yourself with supportive, safe people who uplift and encourage you.

✅ The goal is to recognize these behaviors so we don’t repeat the cycle with future generations.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Growing Up Resilient But Trusting In Love | Episode 96

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Do you always have to be the strong one?

Being resilient is a powerful trait, but when it comes to love and relationships, it can also create walls. Many of us learned to be tough because of our upbringing, but real connection requires trust.

Don’t let old narratives convince you you can only rely on yourself. Love thrives on trust—both in yourself and the right people. Let’s explore how to find the balance between strength and vulnerability.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Is Your Mom Too Enmeshed in Your Adult Life? | Episode 95

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -0800

✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✔️ Why some mothers struggle to separate their own identity from their daughter’s life

✔️ The subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways control and guilt come into play

✔️ Signs you have an overly enmeshed mother

✔️ The emotional toll—and how to break free

✔️ How to set boundaries while maintaining (or redefining) the relationship

📖 Quote from the Episode:

💡 Final Takeaway:

Breaking free from an over-involved mother can be tough, but true freedom comes from standing firm in who you are—even if it means weathering her disapproval. Your life is yours to live.

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Understanding And Letting Go Of Your Mother Wound | Episode 94

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -0800

It’s not that your mom doesn't love you, it’s that she doesn’t know how to love you.

Have you ever found yourself wondering, ‘Does my mom really love me?’ It’s a painful question that many of us with difficult mothers have asked. In this episode, I dive into the emotional and psychological impact of growing up with a mother who couldn’t love the way we needed.

Inspired by Susan Forward’s book Mothers Who Can’t Love, I explore how understanding your mother’s past and patterns can be the key to healing and breaking the cycle.

If you’ve struggled with feelings of rejection, longing, or even guilt surrounding your mother-daughter relationship, this episode is for you.

You are not alone, and healing is possible.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✔️ Why the question isn’t "Does my mom love me?" but rather "Does she even know how to love?"

✔️ How generational trauma and unmet childhood needs shape our mothers—and us

✔️ The different types of emotionally unavailable or toxic mothers

✔️ Steps to start healing and freeing yourself from the emotional weight of your past

✔️ How to ensure you don’t repeat the cycle in your own family

Resources Mentioned:

📖 Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, PhD: https://bit.ly/3QhTRPs

📖 UnMothered: Life with a Mom Who Couldn’t Love Me: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

📚 My 6-week course "Patience & Grace" – A program designed to help women heal from toxic mother wounds: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Join the conversation in my private community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Like to watch your podcasts? We are on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

💖 If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don’t forget to leave a review—it helps more people find this podcast!

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How Our Body Can Hold Onto Our Past Traumas | Episode 93

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Our bodies and minds are such an amazing tool, but it can also be damaged by trauma.

When that happens, we can be doing life through a failed truth.

Let’s explore how trauma affects our bodies and how it is a real dilemma that most people would rather ignore than face. When we can get real about what our body is feeling during stressful situations, we can start to become the person God has intended.

Then we can change the habits that have been keeping us stuck in a faulty reality.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Truth Surrounding Generational Curses | Episode 92

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Often you might hear: “God, why did this happen to me?”

I believe there is a difference between blessings and curses and shifts in our lives.

But, we are responsible for some of the choices we make. Also, sometimes things happen that we don’t see coming. But through it all God will work it out for you if you allow Him to be in charge.

We need to start learning the difference between something you brought on yourself, versus something that was completely out of your control.

We have an ego that gets in the way of really listening to God’s path instead of our own. People think that every time a struggle comes about, it must be a curse! Listen to the episode today, and let me know your thoughts. Do you think there are generational curses?

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Because Of Your Past Trauma, Are You A People Pleaser Or Perfectionist? | Episode 91

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Do you do things out of genuine kindness or because you think people won’t like you if you don’t help?

Are you a people pleaser or perfectionist? Have you ever asked yourself where that started and why?

Helping others is a great quality but only if you do it out of love, not guilt or shame. Let’s find out who told you to be perfect at all times, and let’s start learning the word “no” out of love for yourself and others.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

My Year of Loss and Grief | Episode 90

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0800

A year of loss has taught me so many things about how different causes of death affect us and ultimately how we handle grief and loss.

Also, the timeline for “getting over it” is this…there isn’t one!

You have to allow God AND your body to work through grief. I will walk you through some things I have learned and how I feel about loss after a year of losing 3 loved ones in a short amount of time.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Are You Emily Lorelai or Rory; Gilmore That Is | Episode 89

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0800

Are you team Lorelai team Emily or maybe even Rory?

If you are familiar with the show “Gilmore Girls” you know these characters well.

The mother/daughter/granddaughter dynamic had me glued to the show. Whenever there is a mother/daughter storyline, I’m ready to watch and observe. So my question is “which mom is right?”

You will have to listen to this episode to find out, but one thing is for sure…there is more than one side to the story.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

A Big THANK YOU PEEPS For Your Support As We Head Into 2025 | Episode 88

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0800

What do your dreams look like and are you ready to make them happen in 2025?

Do you know how much you have helped my dreams come true by supporting this podcast?

Grateful is an understatement, but today I want to help you fulfill something in your heart that you have been wanting to do. It’s coming up on a new year and you don’t want to waste it by just dreaming about someday…make it happen!

Never forget the people who will support and help you also. They are all around you, they want you to succeed and they will be by your side every step of the way.

I am grateful to my peeps for listening to all my crazy thoughts and conversations.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Stay Tuned For Next Week With All New Episodes!

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -0800

I will chat with you all next week in the new year, 2025, so exciting! We are having some fun things coming next year, like our 100th episode and so much more.

Talk soon peeps!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

We Are Taking December Off-See You In 2025!

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Hi peeps! We are taking December off, but we will talk to you all soon in 2025! In the meantime, follow us on Instagram and let us know what topics you want to discuss in the new year.

Hope you all have a great holiday season!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Key To Setting Up A Successful & Healthy Holiday Season | Episode 87

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Holidays are naturally stressful for most of us, but add in a narcissistic mom and it becomes a whole other stressor.

Part of our generational dysfunction is putting up with stressful situations with our moms year after year with holiday get-togethers. This year it can be different if you decide to stop the old habits.

It’s not easy, and I have done it so I know what I speak of. In the long run, it is so worth it. The holidays I share today with my own adult children and grandchildren are filled with joy, lots of laughter, and some exhaustion from my own expectations (which includes way too much cooking!)

The new traditions have given me more peace and have made me enjoy this time of year, whereas years before used to make me so anxious. You can restore your holidays too. Listen to some of the tips I share!

This is our last episode for the year! We will take a break from the podcast in December but don’t worry because we will return in January with new episodes. Have a happy holiday season peeps!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Discuss Purity With Your Child When Your Mother Never Taught You | Episode 86

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -0800

How many moms raised their kids in the 90’s purity culture?

I sure did, and while I did it with good intentions if I could go back in time, I would have done some things differently. One thing I did do was keep the lines of communication open with my daughters so they knew they could always come and talk to me about anything.

Listen in as I discuss this meaty topic that may be an unpopular opinion with some, but may help others with a great way to talk to your kids about life issues.

This week's episode came from another listener! I’ve been loving hearing about topics you want to chat about. I’ll leave a link below if you have a topic suggestion!

Have a podcast suggestion? Leave us an anonymous topic suggestion here: https://forms.gle/Qnhv53jCkpKNnVtc8

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

When You Can’t Trust Your Mother with Family Information | Episode 85

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -0800

What do you do when your mother bad-mouths your in-laws and you tell your husband and now she is angry with you?

Well, let's track the reason why she felt the need to talk about them in a cruel manner in the first place. Sometimes we can trust our moms with private information, and sometimes we absolutely can not! In this episode, we will explore this topic from a mom who is dysfunctional and does not have your best interest at heart.

This week's episode came from a listener! I love hearing about topics you want to chat about. I’ll leave a link below if you have a topic suggestion!

Have a podcast suggestion? Leave us an anonymous topic suggestion here: https://forms.gle/Qnhv53jCkpKNnVtc8

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How We Can Use The 'Winter Arc' To Finish The Year Strong | Episode 84

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Today, we are discussing the “winter arc,” or the last three months of the year, and how we can reset anything that hasn’t worked so far.

Just as the leaves change color and fall away, it is also a time for fresh growth. We can do the same with this year's old habits. We can restart and move away from the things that need new growth.

This is the thing with the beginning of a new year. We get to dig in and lay low but also regroup and rethink about what's to come. We can start to dream and pray for new beginnings! The good thing about life is it is ever-changing.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Parenting, Patterns, and Forgiveness A Conversation with Michelle S. Lazurek | Episode 83

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a regular contributor for ibelieve.com, and crosswalk.com and has written for Focus on the Family, Campus Crusade for Christ, and Christianity Today. She also is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.

Her new book Hall of Faith is available October 29th!

https://a.co/d/2KWCele

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Breaking Free From Generational Marriage Roles | Episode 82

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Do you do things in your marriage because it’s what you saw growing up or are you doing things differently because of seeing it go wrong for your parents?

So many times we inadvertently do the traditional roles like our parents did. Even if those things are unhealthy, how do we know how to do it differently? Will it blow up in our faces if we ask for what we want in this relationship?

These are things we should be talking about before we walk down the aisle, but if we haven’t, it’s not too late, in fact, I would say, you are right on time! Be brave and know that if it works for you and your husband it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s marriage. If it keeps you both happy and content, that is a win in my book! Listen in as I talk about what Mike and I do that keeps us both happy in our marriage roles.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

It Is Okay To Be Sad But Why Do People Keep Rushing Us To Be Happy? | Episode 81

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Something that’s weighed heavy on my mind lately, is the subject of grief or sadness and how most people are so uncomfortable sitting with themselves and others through it. How do we get to where we are not rushed through this journey? We will all experience loss, sadness, and grief in our lifetime. Let’s get better at understanding it and helping others to feel loved and heard when it happens.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Breaking Free From The Lies Of Rejection with Jessica Van Roekel | Episode 80

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0800

In this episode, we chatted with Jessica Van Roekel about rejection and how it seeps into our childhoods and adult lives. What happens when you start believing the lies that rejection can bring? And what does God want you to feel about rejection? Listen in as we discuss how it can affect friendships, careers, and the lens of how we see others.

Jessica Van Roekel loves the upside-down life of following Jesus as she journeys to wholeness through brokenness. As an author, speaker, and worship pastor, she uses her gifts and experiences to share God’s transformative power to rescue, restore, and renew. She longs for you to know that rejection doesn’t have to define or determine your future when placed in God’s healing hands. Jessica and her husband have two adult daughters spreading their wings, a son in college and a high school daughter, fluttering their wings as they edge closer to the nest. Connect with her at welcomegrace.com.

Website:

https://welcomegrace.com

https://reframingrejectionbook.com

To Order Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything

Amazon:

https://a.co/d/1yINcrV

Downloadable Freebie: Reframing Rejection with Wisdom from Philippians

https://shiny-unit-32871.myflodesk.com/p552p5ly77

Free gift, 3-Day Reframing Rejection Challenge, for new subscribers to my twice a month devotional, Grace Notes:

https://shiny-unit-32871.myflodesk.com/vrsy5vmtyv

Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/jessica.vanroekel/

https://www.facebook.com/jessicavanroekel.author

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC95IGRLVBwx5vYX6R2hwApg

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Recognizing You’re Not Alone With A Dysfunctional Mom A Conversation with Kristi Lowe | Episode 79

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0800

This episode is so special to me because Kristi Lowe is on the podcast. She shares her unmothered story with others to help share that you are not alone in your mommy issues.

Kristi is a Christian author and speaker and hosts the Even If Podcast. She knows life rarely goes according to plan, family dynamics are complicated, and mental health is no joke. She lives in Lubbock, Texas with her family and rescue dogs. I’m so excited to have another woman sharing her unmothered story with us!

Follow her on Facebook @kristiglowe, IG @kristilowe or www.kristilowe.com.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Acknowledge Your Mental Health Battles with Kim Hardy | Episode 78

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0800

I was so excited to talk with my new friend Kim Hardy today. This episode dives deep into mental health and how to recognize the incorrect narratives we have for ourselves. She is an author and speaker passionate about giving women hope through Biblical truth. She seeks to inspire, renew, and restore hurting women so they can thrive and live joy-filled lives. Kim loves to read, write, and spend time outdoors. She is married to her knight in shining armor who keeps her laughing.

I hope you enjoyed this episode peeps, and if you want to connect with Kim head to her website or Facebook page!

Facebook: Facebook

Website: Kim Hardy | Sunflowers of Hope Ministry | motivational speaker

Amazon: Fighting My Battles with God on My Side https://a.co/d/2o9bVrd

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Handle Your Toxic Mom & Her Relationship As A Grandmother | Episode 77

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0800

This week's episode came as an anonymous request through my weekly newsletter, Tuesday Talks With Phylis (link in bio to sign up or head to my website!).

Let’s talk about the do’s and don’ts of letting our children be a part of our mothers’ lives and what do you do when your toxic mom wants to be a part of your children’s lives?

We are not trying to be cold mamas that just cut off our moms for no reason. There is no easy answer to each individual situation, and I won’t be someone who will say “Do it this way or else!”

The choice is ours, with prayer, common sense, and thought. I’m praying you find peace with all of this!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Pastor’s Wife, People-Pleasing, and Mother Issues with Cheryl Lutz | Episode 76

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0800

We talked with Cheryl Lutz today about being a pastor’s wife, being a recovering people pleaser, and some of her own mother's issues.

Cheryl Lutz is an inspirational speaker, certified biblical counselor, Bible teacher, and podcast host. She is likewise the author of Securely Held: Finding Significance and Security in the Shelter of God’s Embrace, the 2024 1st place Selah award winner in the Christian Life category.

Her mission is to assist Christian women in breaking the power of others; opinions and find their significance and security in God. Cheryl and her husband, Alan, live in a quaint cabin snuggled in the North Georgia Mountains, a good gift from their Abba Father. They have four adult children and one son-in-love. Cheryl is a proud Mimi to Elle, Luna, and Yoda, their two granddogs and grand-cat! Please reach out to Cheryl on her website and let her know how she can serve your women’s group! CherylLutz.com

Social Links:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.comcheryllutz_securelyheld

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SecurelyHeld/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cheryl-lutz-31755b58/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@cheryllutz_securelyheld

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

But It’s Your Family: When Should You Stop That Excuse? | Episode 75

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Part of breaking generational dysfunction is to stop allowing the excuse of, “But it’s your family.”

Stand strong in this journey of breaking generational dysfunction.

Family is not just the people who gave birth to you, but people who show up and love well!

The movie mentioned is “Hillbilly Elegy” which is the true story of VP Candidate JD Vance.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How Your Past Can Affect Your Emotional Eating With Christine Trimpe | Episode 74

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 06:00:00 -0800

I had the pleasure to interview my good friend Christine Trimpe on the podcast today! She told her origin story of how this journey of being an author, speaker, and coach began.

Her story starts with a mountain she wanted to climb but couldn’t because of her weight. From struggling with debilitating sleep patterns to a multitude of health issues, she knew something needed to change. When she started diving into her faith more not only did her weight improve but her emotional health did as well.

Christine wants to help you call on your faith that will free you from the physical, emotional, and spiritual burdens you can no longer drag up whatever mountain you’re trying to climb. Her free guide is linked below and does ‘SugarFreed Me’ coaching. Check it out today!

Connect with Christine:

The “Crush Your Cravings Guide” gift: Crush Your Cravings: The Ultimate Wellness Guide for Christian Women

Check out her program SugarFreed Me: https://christinetrimpe.com/weight-loss/

Invite Christine to Speak: Christine Trimpe, Speaker

Website: www.christinetrimpe.com

Social media links:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChristineTrimpeLLC

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachchristinetrimpe/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/KetoChristineMI

YouTube: @ChristineTrimpe https://youtube.com/christinetrimpe

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/coachchristinetrimpe/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christine-trimpe-07123299/

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Overcoming Toxic Childhood Narratives That Shape Us | Episode 73

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Can the things that were said to you as a child create a negative narrative as you become an adult?

When I was watching the show Bridgerton on Netflix, the plot of the series stood out to me. The son had always held a narrative over his head because of actions or words that were said to him when he was younger. There is no need to have held a spot in your body and mind that has made you make decisions that could negatively impact your life.

We need to be able to slush out information that no longer serves us and get to the truth of what is holding us back because of it. We can learn to have beautiful, raw conversations with honesty and love. Then we can change the generations so that our behaviors are better suited for the future. Our parents didn’t know better, or even if they did and they were being vindictive because of something, like a divorce, we can allow ourselves to question their motives and not deny ourselves the happiness we deserve!

One last thing, in this episode I touch on the show Bridgerton on Netflix. I kept referring to ‘Colin’ as the son I was referring to, but it was really ‘Antony’ that this storyline was about, whoops!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

An Emotionally Immature Mom vs. A Narcissistic Mom; What Is The Difference? | Episode 72

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do Past Triggers Keep You Stuck From Moving Forward? | Episode 71

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 06:00:00 -0800

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that you can self-sabotage by letting your triggers control you.

Let’s talk about the everyday life habits that may keep you stuck negatively. Are you allowing your scared feelings to control you and prevent you from becoming the confident, strong woman you are meant to be? How can we find some ways to slowly change our thinking patterns so we can start living life in a positive view?

I’m all for recognizing when something feels “off”, but I’m also aware of people I meet that are so untrusting because of things that have happened in the past that they trust no one or nothing! I see people questioning every tiny thing that isn’t even relevant to what is actually going on and then they in turn never get to participate the way others do because of their fear and paranoia.

The best thing to start with is the power of ‘The Pause’…take your time with your thoughts before you speak them out.

Write out things you would like to start changing. It can be small or big. Don’t limit yourself. Ask God to show you what changes you need to make and let him guide you. Journaling and praying go hand in hand. Don’t skip this step! He has shown me so many times the direction I should go and I wrote it out in my journal.

Don’t let your fear keep you in the same place this year. Start small and start deciding what you want to do.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episode Series | Should You Heal The Toxic Relationship With Your Mom And/Or Siblings? | Episode 16

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0800

How do we find the heart to heal those who have hurt us? We will explore what it means to forgive people who hurt you deeply. Do you need to forgive them? Should you? What does that look like? Let’s talk about this.

I was asked in my private Facebook group of my Unmothered women, what to do when they are having a hard time wanting to heal a relationship with their mom and sometimes with their siblings. This can be a tricky, touchy subject. I want to be sure we are always doing something that will begin OUR OWN healing process and not focus on revenge or bitterness.

Our healing depends on getting real about what the situation is and how we can work through it.

Your own healing is THE most important part of the healing relationship. It doesn’t matter if they want to join you on this journey. Oftentimes they probably won’t. You must not stifle the progress you need to make in order to heal.
The way they accept the process will tell you a lot about whether you should continue a conversation about this or not.
Are you wanting the healing to make yourself feel better (comforted temporarily), or do you really want to change the relationship, when is it time to take a break or walk away in love?

Always decide whether the thing you want is moving you towards your own healing process and God’s healing or if it is just a temporary fix.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episode Series | Your Mother's Issues Are Your Mother's Issues | Episode 1

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0800

As I was channel surfing I stopped on The Bachelorette. I never watch this show anymore, but of course, I was curious! I swear God wanted me to hear this, Gabby Windey was on a date and they were talking about family.

His parents had been married forever and loved each other fiercely. She started telling him about her fractured relationship with her mom! How when she graduated her mother wrote her off …she started to cry..it broke my heart. She excused herself and was crying to the producers. They asked her what “triggered” the reaction.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | How Can You Identify And Tolerate Having A Narcissistic Mom? | Episode 35

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Most women don’t even acknowledge that their mom is a narcissist or may be toxic.

In order to start your healing journey, you have to NAME the pain that has been done to you in your childhood.

And I want to note, I’m not giving out professional advice! Apart from being a certified coach, I am not a doctor or therapist, so please take this as my personal opinion and as my own personal experience in this matter.

However, I have studied ways to recognize if your mom may be a narcissist:

She has to have everything perfect and nothing is ever her fault.
They will find fault in you over and over though.
They don’t live in reality. They live in “their” world as they know it.
They always minimize the experience.

Many times we make excuses for our moms because it is too painful to admit they are flawed, or we feel like a bad daughter if we say something derogatory. This doesn’t help the situation and it won’t make it different by you ignoring it.

The definition of madness is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result. Your mom is who she is, and you need to find out who you are and what you need and desire in this relationship.

There is no reasoning with them, so just remember to not play along with their games.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | What Are Some Signs And Qualities Of A Narcissistic Mother Part 2

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Let’s dig into a deeper conversation about some signs and qualities that I’ve started to notice about people with narcissistic tendencies. A big question we must ask is, where it comes from (possibly) and what are some signs of things you yourself may be suffering from being around or living with a person who is narcissistic.

Upon my reading and studying, I’ve come across a few signs that show your mother might be narcissistic.

Explosive or extreme anger
Compulsive or inhibited sexuality
Extreme shame, guilt, or self-blame (which is a tactic to make you feel sorry for them)
Sense of difference from others; i.e.; specialness, or feeling like no one else can understand them)

We learn to survive at the expense of sacrificing our own needs. We become people who attempt to help control the environment, this is something I know well. And it is a job that is not yours to hold.

The list goes on and on, but the one thing you have to remember is you may become disassociated with who you naturally are. You are taking on so many different personas it’s hard to know your own opinions or desires in life.

So what to do with all this information?

Having a strong faith will for me, always be the number one thing towards wholeness. It gives me purpose and meaning and most of all hope in life. I know that God has wasted nothing through my journey and to be able to move forward towards my goal of being a healthy person with God at the helm is comforting for me. He can give me strength and peace that humans can’t always give me.

Taking the time to move through our past with therapy or someone safe to walk with you towards a more honest future. The things that have been done to you are not your fault, and it was hard, but you don’t have to stay there. Take your time to find a trustworthy person to partner with you.

Here is an affiliate link to the book I mentioned:

Understanding and Loving a Person with Depression: Biblical and Practical Wisdom to Build Empathy, Preserve Boundaries, and Show Compassion by Stephen Arterburn (Author), Brenda Hunter (Author): https://bit.ly/465Bgf6

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Most Downloaded Episodes | The Truth About Growing Up With Emotionally Immature Parents | Episode 31

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Hi peeps! We are taking July off and decided to re-publish our most downloaded episodes for you to listen to! We will be back in August with new episodes and don't forget to follow me over on Instagram to keep up.

What was it like growing up in your home?

Our feelings count!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Sharing About The Marks That Made Her : A Conversation with Dr. Michelle Bengtson | Episode 70

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Dr. Michelle Bengtson is an international speaker, a national and international media resource on mental health, and the bestselling, award-winning author of Hope Prevails, the Hope Prevails Bible Study, Today Is Going to Be a Good Day, Breaking Anxiety's Grip, and The Hem of His Garment. She is also the host of the award-winning podcast Your Hope-Filled Perspective. A board-certified clinical neuropsychologist in private practice for more than twenty years, Dr. Bengtson blogs regularly and offers a wide variety of resources on her website, DrMichelleB.com.

https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson/

https://www.instagram.com/drmichellebengtson/

https://twitter.com/DrMBengtson

https://www.amazon.com/author/drmichellebengtson

Don't forget peeps, we are taking July off! We will be replaying the most downloaded episodes during that month and will have new episodes in August, enjoy the summer!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Does Having A Diploma Make You Smarter Than An Uneducated Person? | Episode 69

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0800

As we watch young adults graduate from high school and college, the question comes up again; does having a diploma make you smarter and more successful?

Can you maneuver through the world without schooling? And can different types of education or life skills can help you thrive?

I always have mixed feelings at this time of year. So many emotions have played into my skilled learning and how the education I have currently taken has made such a difference in my life. That, however, has not always been the case. Growing up with no parents caring if I even graduated from high school set me up for struggle.

I think there is another side to this too. I see some parents putting ALL their time and energy into making sure they can have bragging rights on how smart their child is, only to see said child grow up and still not be able to handle the “real world”.

All their achievements were to make their parents proud, and now they don’t know what they want to do or who they are.

Be proud of your kids no matter what! It’s so exciting to see them start their life journey. Always let them know you are the safe place for them, encourage but don’t parent like they are 5 years old.

They will come back to you and be so grateful that you believed in them!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Stay At Home Moms vs. The Working Moms | Episode 68

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Given the passionate social media opinions about the Harrison Butker speech, I thought this would be a great conversation to have with you all, being that it is about motherhood.

It’s the age-old debate: are we more fulfilled being a mother, or are our careers more important than staying at home? Let’s talk about the stay at home mom being the most rewarding job on earth (or so he said).

Every woman has worth.

Can we please stop saying one thing is more glorious than the other? We don’t know people’s stories or histories. Can we stop the shame? No one should feel guilty for their own journeys and choices. And the most important thing to remember is God is responsible for that journey.

Our life is not a “one size fits all” kind of place.

Get $20 off your Wildgrain membership via the referral link below: https://wildgrain.com/a/refer-a-friend/redeem/tttrtmnxffcuymvgtl2azfbopchmvrk6paccgadg/8487

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Being Strong Does Not Mean You Are Emotionally Healed | Episode 67

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Just because we are strong doesn’t mean we are healed.

Do people think you have it all together because they perceive you as strong?

How many times have people told you how strong you are or how normal you seem after they know about your hard childhood? We aren’t as strong as you think. We have had to be strong to survive.

There is a difference.

When hard things happened to me over the years, I kept going. I survived. And in that time, I built up a wall of strength that people saw as brave.

When we learn to regulate our emotions, we can let down our guard and not have to stand strong.

Trust plays into this too.

We are always a work in progress. Good for you for learning to survive through strength until now.

Check out Wildgrain:

Get $20 off your Wildgrain membership via the referral link below: https://wildgrain.com/a/refer-a-friend/redeem/tttrtmnxffcuymvgtl2azfbopchmvrk6paccgadg/8487

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Do Your Past Traumas Affect Your Kids Growing Up? | Episode 66

Mon, 27 May 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Even in the best of families, we have a tendency to put our opinions or traumas onto our children.

We have patterns of behavior that can be instilled in them and when they grow up, they might recognize it’s not healthy, or they might end up with the same traumas themselves. How do we break this pattern off?

I realized that I had unconsciously done something wrong as I watched my daughter experience some unknown fear with great exaggeration and I immediately realized she had learned that awful behavior from me!

Always remember that your children, little or grown up respect and love you. We are the ones that are doing something new for the generations so it is all new.

We set the tone and standards.

Do things that will set a peaceful pace for families that will last a long time.

We are going to make mistakes, that’s human. What is different is the ability to ask for forgiveness when we have passed something on that needs to be broken from us….and them.

Don't forget to check out Wildgrain!

Get $20 off your Wildgrain membership via the referral link below: https://wildgrain.com/a/refer-a-friend/redeem/tttrtmnxffcuymvgtl2azfbopchmvrk6paccgadg/8487

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Feelings About Motherhood From A Mom Of 30+ Years | Episode 65

Mon, 20 May 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Mothering is one of the most important and confusing jobs you will ever have!

I have been watching a few women on Instagram who are either new mothers or pregnant with their first child.

Having raised my girls, I feel for these women, and at the same time I just want to hug them and let them know “there is no perfect way” and “you will make mistakes!” and it will all be okay.

There are so many emotions that motherhood brings.

Some days it feels like it’s all too much. Add on the feelings we have from the trauma we have grown up in, and it can be a total stress. Then add on the fact that we don’t have a mom to go to for advice, and it’s just sad and anxiety filled.

Make room for time to ask yourself why you are feeling what you are feeling. Are you being triggered by past childhood things that are coming up now that you are a mom? Take the time to explore these feelings. Don’t ignore them. They are important and they are trying to tell you something. It will make you a more present mom.

Surround yourself with helpful moms. Make sure they uplift, not drag you down. This is a good time to find moms who are a bit ahead of you in the motherhood game.

Always ask God to guide you. Talk to him first thing in the morning. Ask for patience, clarity, hope, and calmness as the day begins. When those stressful moments hit, you will be able to remember that you do not always have to be in control, someone bigger than you is in control, He loves you.

And if no one else has told you today; YOU ARE DOING GREAT MAMA! Keep doing the work…your kids will thank you someday…

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Faith, Safety, And True Crime: A Conversation With Lori Morrison | Episode 64

Mon, 13 May 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Lori Morrison is a committed advocate for strengthening physical, emotional, and spiritual safety in our churches. She's a former church staffer, and retired private investigator, as well as an author, podcaster, and speaker. She shares real stories at the intersection of faith and true crime to highlight actionable steps any of us can take in our faith communities.

She hosts the popular podcast The Unlovely Truth, follow her along by clicking the links below:

https://www.facebook.com/theUnlovelyTruth

https://www.instagram.com/theunlovelytruthpodcast/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/theunlovelytruth/

My Amazon author page

https://theunlovelytruth.com/

Contact her:

lori@theunlovelytruth.com

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Recognize Red Flags When You’ve Grown Up In Trauma | Episode 63

Mon, 06 May 2024 06:00:00 -0800

When you’ve grown up in trauma and have normalized some behaviors, you miss what is known as “red flag” in others.

I’m giving full credit of this episode to Nate Postlethwait. because he talked about this on one of his posts and it got me thinking. One of the things we as women tend to do when we have grown up in trauma, is we think we know people (or should I say men) and we get into relationships that the average person would see as “red flags” but we have learned to normalize this behavior.

Over the years, I’ve learned to always help yourself first when coming out of a trauma filled family or relationship. It’s imperative that you are healthy first before you allow someone into your life.

Also, never feel embarrassed if you have allowed someone to take advantage of you. We always think we can “fix” others because a lot of the time, we have had to do this in our childhoods. We have big hearts, there is nothing wrong with this, except to say, give your heart to the person who is worthy of it.

This may be a good time to seek out therapy OR if you are ready to take a step forward and just need someone to come alongside you, this is where coaching can be a beautiful partnership!

I love helping women find their stride in life. Having someone be your true cheerleader may be the only push you need to help you start growing more confident in thinking in a new way and knowing that God will help you out of any hard situation!

We are hosting a giveaway! We are giving away one of these cute hats that say the name of my coaching program ‘Patience and Grace’ and my book “Unmothered” to one lucky winner!

Here is what you need to do…

✨ Leave a review for my podcast ‘The UnMothered Podcast’ on Apple Podcasts and take a screenshot of it before you press ‘submit’

✨Send me the photo via DM or leave your IG handle on the review so we can get in touch with you

The giveaway starts Thursday, May 2nd, and goes until Friday, May 10th! The winner will be chosen and contacted on Monday, May 13th. DM me if you have any questions💕

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Are You The ‘Black Sheep’ Of The Family Or The Truth-Teller? | Episode 62

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0800

How do you define the black sheep in the family?

Has this label been placed on you because you don’t abide by the dysfunction in your family?

There is a difference between being the troublemaker or the truth-teller. If you are just trying to survive in a highly abusive family situation, you learn to fight and stand on your own.

So what can we do if we are the one that has always been labeled in this way?

He has a purpose and a plan for you, even if you have to walk through rough waters to get there.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Diving Into The LINKED® Personality System With Linda Goldfarb | Episode 61

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0800

I'm so excited to chat with Linda Goldfarb today on all things LINKED® Personality System! I became a LINKED® Personality Coach a couple of years ago, and I love this program.

Whether sipping frothed coffee with friends, hiking with her hubby Sam, engaging in deep conversation with her children and grandchildren, or speaking truth with gentle boldness, Linda Goldfarb strives to be transparent and authentic.

Linda is a multi-book, award-winning author, award-winning podcaster, international speaker, conference speaker, professional emcee, board-certified advanced Christian life coach, and co-founder of the LINKED® Personality System.

Linda grew up in a military family, traveling frequently as the girl filler between bookend brothers. Her adventures living among numerous cultures gave Linda a diverse understanding of the world, which she considers an advantage as a servant-daughter of the King.

Known as the kind of person who draws you in immediately, Linda’s voice makes you feel welcome, safe, and seen. When she shares her energy, experiences, and expertise, you lean in—not wanting to miss a single word.

Linda and Sam are the proud parents of four adult children, numerous grandchildren, and one great-grandson. They live on the edge of the Texas Hill Country with their rescue pups, MeMe and DJ. Linda credits faith, humor, and personality awareness to growing their relationship into a thriving adventure lasting over 38 years.

“My life is far from perfect, and that’s where Yeshua met me, loved me, and saved me. For Him, I’m eternally grateful.”

Join Linda over at: https://www.lindagoldfarb.com/

Shop her books on Amazon here: https://bit.ly/4d4h81a

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How to Find Strength While Navigating Impossible Circumstances | Episode 60

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0800

How can you keep your faith through impossible circumstances?

I recently watched an award-winning movie and it got me thinking about how long I could keep my faith alive and trust that God could perform a miracle.

I think of our circumstances in our time. We feel completely smothered in our pain or situation. Not being able to breathe or have hope. I coach some people who feel that way. We never know what our threshold is until we are in it. As I have walked through immense grief these last few months (and still am walking through it!) it seems as if I can’t do it anymore, but God gives me a strength I couldn’t possibly do on my own.

Some tips when your life is feeling overwhelming:

When things seem impossible, look for the possible. You might be surprised at how strong you can be.
Can you depend on friends to support you? Some of that strength comes in the form of friends constantly reaching out and holding your broken or hopeless heart well. They won’t have all the answers, but they can walk beside you and hold you up.
Don’t be afraid to pray for a miracle. Ultimately, it’s God’s will but He doesn’t mind us asking. We will accept the path He gives us, even if it’s not the way we want it. We don’t see what He sees and knows. Keep trusting.

We have a choice to live fully alive and trust God loves us and wants the best for us, or we can feel defeated every day. The choice is how we live it out.

I pray you pick the first choice. I know I will…always!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Never Be Ashamed of Your Hard Story | Episode 59

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Looking back through the chapters of my first book, 'Unmothered,' it surprised me how honest I was in writing it!

I poured my heart into it so others could see the truth of my challenging story, and I prayed it would inspire them to be honest about their own experiences.

I've come to realize that the purpose of this book is to permit others to never be ashamed of their difficult stories and to have faith that God will use it all for good. We are survivors with a purpose.

Later this year, I plan to release my second book. It will accompany my memoir and feature the six life lessons from my one-on-one coaching program, Patience & Grace.

I hope this book will guide you in starting the journey to heal your childhood heart. Sign up for my newsletter to receive updates on the book!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Grace In The Hard Story: A Conversation with Sara Cormany | Episode 58

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Sara Cormany is a wife, mom, and follower of Jesus.

A former speech educator and a storyteller at heart, Sara has long had a passion for helping others tell their stories---be it as a teacher, an editor, a writing coach, or a project manager in the publishing industry. She is an award-winning author and speaker whose days are traced by the grace of a good God. Although chronic illness has been part of her life for over twenty years, Sara’s journey is proof that a hard story can still be a good story.

Sara, her husband, and their four children live in Kansas City, Kansas. While she has contributed to multiple compilations and collaborative works, including the award-winning She Writes for Him: Stories of Living Hope. Even When is Sara’s first solo title.

Join her on the journey at www.saracormany.com

Purchase her book here (this is an affiliate link): https://bit.ly/3PCBfte

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Is Love Blind: Debunking The Myth of Blind Love | Episode 57

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 06:00:00 -0800

If you’ve never watched the popular Netflix show Love Is Blind then you won’t understand this episode as much, but bear with me. I will be deep-diving into a few people from this show and even if you’ve never seen it, you might get what I’m talking about.

The premise of the show is can you go into a relationship blind, never seeing what the physical side of a person looks like, or can you just love their insides alone?

My short answer is, I don’t think so. Love is so much more in depth than physician attraction, or talking behind a screen about deep things and thinking you can maneuver the real world. Your job, friends, family, faith, etc all of the parts that make you unique are blended into seeing if someone can get along with you.

The moral of this story is to take care of yourself first before you can include anyone else to come and share your life. The baggage from our past, the beliefs we have put in our heads, none of it will make for a good relationship with a spouse if you don’t take the time to clean out your junk.

Love is a beautiful thing, but is it blind? Let me know your opinion in the comments below!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Do You Want Your Legacy To Be? | Episode 56

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Do you ever think about what kind of impact you leave on people?

Let's discuss how important your legacy is to people you come in contact with, relative or not. I have given so much thought to this as I have tried to manage the uncomfortable feelings of my brother’s suicide. The legacy he has left on his family, me, my children, his children and grandchildren. They have this tainted version of how he struggled in life and death.

The good things he was are overridden by his last days.

We have a responsibility to make a difference if we believe our life has purpose and meaning. We could even have the possibility of affecting strangers along the way who we can impact positively by our words or deeds.

What you put into the world creates a pattern of what you leave with the world.

Ask God to show you where you will need to improve on your attitude, habits, or hurts. If you have been carrying a lot of stuff that is stopping you from being the person you want to be, then today is the day to let it go. Be brave in what your legacy is.

You will never know the difference you could make in leaving an impression or hope in someone’s life.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Emotional Side Of ‘Dieting’ with Rachael Morris | Episode 55

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 06:00:00 -0800

We know about our physical health, but how about the emotional side of our physical health? On today’s episode, I’m interviewing Rachael Morris. She is a certified holistic health coach as well as a certified nutrition and macro coach. She’s been health coaching clients for 10 years and has helped hundreds of women develop plans to help their chronic health issues and break past barriers that keep them stuck in their health and weight. She’s a mom of two amazing kids and 2 dogs as well as a wife to her husband Justin of 12 years and currently lives in Tomball, Texas.

On April 1st, she is starting a new program and registration is now open! You can contact her on Instagram at @rachaelmorrishealth

https://www.instagram.com/rachaelmorrishealth/

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

A Journey of Redemption and Belonging with Cherie Denna | Episode 54

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Cherie Denna’s mission is to empower individuals to find a deep sense of belonging and belovedness in Jesus Christ in their everyday lives. She draws from her extensive experience in women's ministry, relapse prevention, prayer counseling, and recovery to inspire audiences to remove imposters from their lives.

Her newly released debut book, Beloved Outcast: The Quest for True Belonging, is a must-read for those trapped in seemingly inescapable circumstances who desire a victorious life of freedom. Cherie’s platform reveals the realities of living on the fringes of society, enmeshed in organized crime and the outlaw biker culture, all while following God's call to spread the Gospel.

She finds joy in witnessing the power of God's truth through freedom, deliverance, and healing. Cherie influences the world through writing, speaking, women's ministry, and guiding others in sharing their hard stories. She enjoys frequent sea-habilitation, frothed coffee, and exploring lighthouses with her husband.

Purchase the book here (this is an affiliate link): https://bit.ly/49KRRXA

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Is Your Discipline Style Different Than Your Mom's? | Episode 53

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 06:00:00 -0800

What kind of communicator are you with your kids? Are you a screamer or ignoring Mom?

How you grew up can determine certain traits that may need to be broken within yourself, only if you recognize them.

I was having a conversation a few days ago with another mom, and it occurred to me that when it comes to us moms and how we have been raised, one of the dysfunctions that can carry down through the generations is discipline.

Give yourself grace. Rules change as your kids get older. Every day brings a new perspective and it can be confusing and exhausting. You are doing the best you can, and if you are putting in the work to search out new ideas and parenting skills you will be better with time.

Being understanding and loving, especially during the heat of the moment will set the stage for your child feeling safe and wanting to do better with you.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Trust Your Adult Children’s Judgement Instead Of Correcting | Episode 52

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Do you trust the judgment of your children as adults? When we as moms can’t get out of our way to allow our adult children to live their own lives how can that impact our relationship with them?

So many times I have sat in places at parties, family gatherings, and such where I overhear or have conversations with well-meaning mothers about their adult children. And too many times I hear them make excuses for why their opinion is right over their adult child’s. Even when their children are parents themselves, these moms can’t help themselves.

But I have a question for you, do you have the ability to listen and NOT correct? Do you trust their ability to live on their own terms, even if you don’t fully agree or approve of it?

You want to have honest, loving conversations and relationships with your adult children. The only way to do this is to let them make their own opinions and you shut down your expertise. It doesn’t mean you can’t ever have an opinion, it means you have to pause and think if this conversation needs to be had or if you can let it go.

The goal is to be proud of the individual person they have become. To have awesome conversations without the “I’m the parent so I know best” attitude. You can have great conversations of honest talk, laughter, and holding of their stories where they feel safe telling you something hard without judgment.

You can do this!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Learning How To Heal From Covert Narcissism with Jacqueline Julia | Episode 51

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Jacqueline Julia is a single mom of 2 young boys. Her first marriage ended in divorce and in a second marriage, she began to see signs of narcissistic abuse. She is currently separated and working through the healing process. This has led her to a new passion for helping to heal other women through their own struggles of trauma. She is receiving her education as a mental health coach.

Follow and contact Jacqueline over on Instagram @jacquelinejulia https://www.instagram.com/ms.jacquelinejulia

The books mentioned in the podcast, these links are affiliate links which means I will get a small kickback from the purchase at no extra cost to you. :

The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist by Debbie Mirza: https://bit.ly/3w819yh

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life: https://bit.ly/3FqZjJM

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Trust & Money: When You’ve Grown Up With A Scarcity Mindset | Episode 50

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 06:00:00 -0800

If you grew up with a scarcity mentality, can you have a healthy relationship when money comes in?

At the beginning of January, I did a fast with my church. I decided to take 3 weeks off from watching TV. When I came back to it, my daughter and I watched the new Netflix game show “The Trust”. I began to realize that most people who aren’t ready for big windfalls of money end up back in the same place of striving when they don’t know how to handle it.

The girl in the show Julie resonated with me. I saw her greed and pain. She didn’t understand that money is not the “end all” of happiness. Over time she learned that lying and deceiving did her no good.

You will never be happy with just money alone. It will make your life more comfortable in some ways, and bring problems in others. But, If you don’t respect money, you will never know how to handle it when that windfall comes in. You must always share your wealth. It is a gift. It is a blessing.

If you are in a position where you already have money and don’t trust anyone, start questioning the “why” and find some help! Nothing is more sad than someone who has money and is miserable with their life.

It’s time to place it in perspective.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Does Time Genuinely Heal All Wounds? | Episode 49

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Does grief get easier throughout the years?

Short answer: that grief will always stay with you, it will just look different as time moves on.

40 years ago, I lost my first son Linton. There is no timeline for grief for sure. I cry just as much today as I did 40 years ago.

The crazy thing was about 25 years ago, there was a time each year when I would get depressed and didn’t know why. I always forgot his birthday, until it was right there! The day of or a few days after. I didn’t know how to mourn well, no one taught me and I was so used to stuffing things down, I blocked it out but my body KNEW!

You should always take the day to honor those you have lost. As I got healthier, I allowed myself to ask for what I needed on this day. Stop trying to mourn the way other people want you to, even if they are a part of your household. It’s not their grief. It’s yours.

Our lives don’t stop from a loss, it’s a detour and there is more. . .

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

A Check In After The Holidays + Setting New Intentions & Boundaries For 2024 | Episode 48

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 06:00:00 -0800

What are you doing differently this year to find that balance of boundaries and peace with the difficult relationship with your mom?

I will ask some questions today to see if this is the year you will start taking care of your mental health and find a place to balance out the struggle of loving and setting hard boundaries in your relationships.

This year you need to take a hard look at what is working for you in all relationships so you can start being honest with yourself to enter into the year with the freedom that you deserve.

I want you to start this year with better, clear intentions of how you want to live your life. Your mom will probably never change, but you can!

Write out 3 specific things you want to do this year to start creating the life you want without all the chaos. Let yourself dream BIG.

You can do this, I believe in you!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Using The Linked® Personality Coaching What Kind Of Mom Do You Think You Are Or Had Growing Up? |Episode 47

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 06:00:00 -0800

When I’m mentoring a woman, I hear this statement a lot “My Mother just doesn’t understand or get me. . .” and today, I am hoping to use this Linked® Personality Guide to fill this gap.

A couple of years ago, I became certified as a Linked® Personality coach using the book LINKED® Quick Guide to Personalities by Linda Gilden and Linda Goldfarb. To become certified I had to present my learnings on how they would relate to my area of coaching. I decided to do the presentation on mothers and daughters and it ended up being a great conversation with my group!

I talk more about the different personalities in today’s episode. Listen to the episode and let me know what type of personality you think you are, a mobilizer, a socializer, a stabilizer, or an organizer.

Purchase the book here! This link is a commissionable link.

LINKED® Quick Guide to Personalities: Maximizing Life Connections One Link at a Time: https://bit.ly/3U0vQzl

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How Can We Really Handle Grief And How Much Can We Handle? | Episode 46

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 06:00:00 -0800

Trigger warning: This week’s episode contains talk about suicide. If you feel the need to skip the episode, feel free to do so.

Let’s be honest, grief is a ‘B’.

In November/December I had to walk through the many emotions of unexpected tragedy and loss.

I was never expecting to do an episode like this when I started my podcast a year ago, but here we are. I know God makes a way for the unthinkable and believe me when I say the unthinkable has happened. For those of you who don’t know, I was dropped to my knees by a phone call no one ever wants to get. My brother, who I was not particularly close to, committed suicide.

The shock and awe in that statement alone are still hard to wrap my head around.

As I was processing all that grief and trying to work out my broken heart imagine what I felt as I got a phone call that my sweet 98-year-old father had also just passed away. It had been 10 days. I have heard of people passing away close together but had never experienced it up close.

What do we do when trauma hits twice and how much trauma can a heart handle?

In this episode, we are going to talk about all these questions and now being a trauma-informed coach I have tools that I want to share with you all on how to hold your aching heart.

Friends, I want to leave you with this, your body needs time to grieve, your heart needs time to heal, and your strength comes from God.

Take your time, we are not in a race…we are human.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

I’m Now A Certified Freedom Movement Coach + What Is A Trauma Coach? | Episode 45

Mon, 01 Jan 2024 06:00:00 -0800

What does it take to be a trauma coach and what is a trauma coach? Why would you need one and how do you find one?

In this episode, we are going to dive into what drew me to learn more about what trauma coaching was, how I didn’t know what I didn’t know about my traumas and triggers, and how I found Karrie Scott Garcia to teach me all the things I needed to get truthful about my journey.

This past November, I became a certified Freedom Coach in Biblically sound, spirit-filled, & trauma-informed coaching. When I tell you it was a long 4-year process with many twists and turns, I’m not exaggerating. My passion is helping others, listening well, holding hearts, and showing them the big love of God through it all.

We are not here to “fix” you. I can’t guarantee you will be 100% healed when we are done with our sessions, but I can help you find ways to cope.

I have become such a better listener and holder of women’s hearts. My work with the mother/daughter connection has grown deeper because of the lessons I’ve learned. I can teach you techniques that will help you NOT spiral out of control when you feel the struggle of personal stress.

Don’t let fear stop you this year from finding the freedom you are seeking!

If you want to learn more about Karrie’s work with Freedom Movement check out their Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freedom_movement/

Interested in one-on-one coaching with me, click here: https://www.phylismantelli.com/1-on-1-coaching

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

We Are Taking December Off-See You In 2024!

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 06:00:00 -0800

We will still be active on social media if you want to connect with me over there. As always we appreciate your love and support so much and would love it if you take the time to leave us a review!

Happy Holidays Peeps, see you in the New Year!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Does Birth Order Matter With Your Siblings? | Episode 44

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, did you ever think about birth order when growing up? If you are the oldest, what responsibilities did you feel were put on you? The same goes if you are the middle child or a younger one.

It’s also a great time to take a few personality tests, just to understand a little bit more. Not to be used as an excuse for your behaviors, but to learn and grow. You should always be open to learning more and taking a different approach when needed, and 100% rely on the direction God tells you to go.

I have taken other kinds of personality tests and I find them fascinating. Birth order is also something we generally gravitate towards naturally in families. We each play a role. The problem can arise when we make excuses for the patterns we fall into because it’s easy.

When you love people because you understand them the conversations are deeper, the help for each other is pure and loving. Think about the personalities that each sibling has and see if there is a strength in them that you may not have thought of before. I think when we get older, we start to see the strengths (and weaknesses) that we can be more of a support to them. It will also be a bonding for when you all have to come together for family situations; good or bad.

This is what can make for a fun, beautiful individual family!

I have often told my girls “You are very different people, respect the differences.”

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Learning About Our Praying Personalities With Janet McHenry | Episode 43

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Today we are talking with Janet McHenry. She is a national speaker and author of 27 books, including the bestselling PrayerWalk, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, and her new release, Praying Personalities. She directs the prayer ministries at The Bridge Church in Reno and serves on the California leadership team for the National Day of Prayer. The leader of the hundreds-strong Bible Girls and a prayer walker, Janet has helped others foster a hope-filled, purposeful lifestyle built on prayer and God's Word for more than two decades.

Connect with Janet: www.janetmchenry.com

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Raise A Family That Works Together, There Is No “I” In Family | Episode 42

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 06:00:00 -0800

One of the biggest fears I had when starting a family was, how can I create a healthy family when I hadn’t been brought up in one.

If you have not dealt with the issues you have grown up around there can be residual anger that you let out on your child. Or you can end up overcompensating for the things you have lost in your childhood and smother your child.

I am so grateful to God for allowing me to work through my issues and be able to pivot when needed, apologize, and be open to learning new techniques.

Be honest with what is swirling around from your childhood.

Don’t be afraid to show love, even if it wasn’t shown to you. You can change the generations by being different.

Let your kids know you have their back always…no matter what. Life will throw you curves you can even imagine, trust that God will be walking with you through it all.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Maneuver the Holidays When You Grow Up With A Dysfunctional Family | Episode 41

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 06:00:00 -0800

How do we NOT get swept into all the dysfunction and drama from our family?

Do we just “peace out” with toxic family members during this time? What if your family is just difficult at best, but not toxic? Ugh, just thinking about the holidays of my childhood makes me want to sweat right now.

I recently watched The Bear Season 2 Episode 6: Fishes. And let me tell you, in this particular episode, their mom (played by Jamie Lee Curtis, who I think deserves an Oscar, Emmy, or something for her part.) SHE. NAILED. IT. She is a drunk, crazy depressed, and over the top cooking like a madwoman in the kitchen AND refusing help from any of the adult children INCLUDING her chef son! My girls actually said to me “you may or may not want to watch this one mom, it may bring up some triggers for you!”

It was hard to watch but it was such a great episode of how some holidays can be, let’s say, untraditional.

You need to find that sweet spot of enjoying your holiday season while still being around difficult people (namely your relatives!) Here are some questions I would ask yourself:

1. Is there a parent who plays the martyr in the family? How do you react to that?

2. Is there something you can contribute to help ease the stress off the person hosting?

3. Can you be free to take a walk if things get too heavy, so you can deep breathe and talk to yourself to calm yourself down?

4. Can you be the change that can start new traditions either with your original family or with your new family (meaning husband, children etc.)

Remember that playing the victim is never an option. Either speak it out or get out and start something new! Try to check in with trusted friends also and try to do something with them in between the big holiday moments.

Remember it’s a time of giving and joy, don’t let anyone take that away from you!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What To Do When You Realize Your Mommy Issues After Becoming A Mom Yourself? | Episode 40

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 06:00:00 -0800

When I became a mother, my heart exploded with love and I was so confused as to how my mother could be so cold to us kids.

When you become a mom, it becomes so much more noticeable how much you were Unmothered! How do we learn to do the things of which we were not taught?

I couldn’t imagine not pouring out my very best to this beautiful baby. Now that being said, did that baby sometimes drive me crazy with her incessant crying and no-sleep days? Of course.

But my love for her outweighed all the rest.

Let’s explore some of the emotions we may feel as we enter into motherhood through a different lens of an Unmothered.

I’ll leave you with some tips that I think would be beneficial:

Seek therapy.
Surround yourself with a tribe of other moms, and help each other out!
Get good sleep
Write out the things you wished you had gotten from your own mom.

I will never know why my mom decided to check out of motherhood. I only have my memories and suspicions of her mental health not being at its best. You don’t have to repeat these same patterns in your family.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How Grief Hits When You Lose An Unloving Family Member | Episode 39

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 06:00:00 -0800

When you lose a family member most people think you are supposed to be sad, but what happens when that person was hard to love? How can you maneuver through that grief and what kind of feelings do arise?

When I was scrolling through Instagram, one of my favorite trauma recovery coaches Nate Postlewait ( https://www.instagram.com/nate_postlethwait ) was talking about this subject. It struck me so hard, that all of our journeys are so complex.

One of the things that really stuck out to me that Nate posted was, “People don’t get the complexity of a family member passing away who caused great pain. There can be grief for what NEVER was, and sadness because of the finality. Please don’t assume you know how someone is processing this type of loss. Assume they need compassion.”

Also, have some kindness and compassion when someone tells you they have to walk away from an abusive family member. It is such a struggle of the heart, and also as Christians, they want everyone to bypass the pain and get to the healing. We may have gotten to the healing, but if the parent hasn’t, it can create an even deeper hold of dysfunction if we stay out of false obligation. Some of us can never share our stories for fear of others in the family coming after us. When the parent passes, it may be easier for us to share, but it is tangled with the “what ifs” of how it could have been different if only they had tried.

I have talked to a few women lately who are in the “in-between” place, where their mothers are dying but they don’t have a relationship with her. I don’t have a fast easy answer for this. We walk through each situation differently.

I will leave this last remark from Nate: “Let’s say less of “you're so strong” and more of “that looks heavy. Let me help you carry it.”

Find people that can help you carry the load. Not to fix, but to hold. It will mean so much to us.

Some resources that may be helpful if you are going through this time is Freedom Movement, a trauma-informed biblical coaching program:

Here is their IG: https://www.instagram.com/freedom_movement

Here is the cohort: https://freedom-movement.mykajabi.com/cohort

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Truth Of Being A Caregiver To Someone With Dementia | Episode 38

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Being a caregiver can be an amazing thing, but don’t forget to take care of yourself.

I recently watched a short segment on how Bruce Willis’s wife, Emma was taking a break from being a caregiver. As she held back tears, she explained, (although she shouldn’t have to) that even though she is out and about with a smile on her face and it seems she is having fun, she is tired and highly stressed and takes these breaks for her own mental wellbeing.

It reminded me of when I was juggling taking care of my own mom even before I knew she had dementia and raising my own daughters.

During the episode, I discuss dementia and some statistics about the disease.

All this to be said, being a caregiver is probably the hardest “job” and I say that loosely that you will ever take on.

What are some ways you can take care of yourself while taking care of others?

For help or resources for caregivers contact the “Alzheimer's Association” or “Alzheimer’s Disease and Healthy Aging.”

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Are Some Signs And Qualities Of A Narcissistic Mother Part 2 | Episode 37

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Upon my reading and studying, I’ve come across a few signs that show your mother might be narcissistic.

Explosive or extreme anger
Compulsive or inhibited sexuality
Extreme shame, guilt, or self-blame (which is a tactic to make you feel sorry for them)
Sense of difference from others; i.e.; specialness, or feeling like no one else can understand them)

So what to do with all this information?

Here is an affiliate link to the book I mentioned:

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

When The Root of the Problem Still Remains, How Can You Do The Deep Work? | Episode 36

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Can you help someone out of their past, if the root of the problem still remains?

I was listening to the news recently and heard the story about Michael Oher and his fight with the Tuohy family. It reminded me of how bringing someone into a healthy family can be an amazing thing, but if they don’t do the deep work, the problems will still remain. As a disclaimer, this is only my opinion, and I will be talking in generalizations, not specifically on this case, as I don’t have any inside info.

Can you take a boy(or girl) that you see needs help and change their life with your faith, love, and family values? We have tried to do this. When my daughter was younger we took in her friend who needed all those things, however, the ending was different.

You have to name the harm and go deeper with your story to clear out any more pain. The pain won’t completely go away, but you will know how to handle it, or will not carry any bitter root from it.

Figure out your past story. If you have grown up with highly traumatic or dysfunctional parents, please seek professional help and let this be an ongoing conversation until you feel the new growth possible!

The feelings wheel mentioned can be purchased here: https://bit.ly/47T4Nuu

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

This podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcasts

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How Can You Identify And Tolerate Having A Narcissistic Mom? | Episode 35

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Most women don’t even acknowledge that their mom is a narcissist or may be toxic.

In order to start your healing journey, you have to NAME the pain that has been done to you in your childhood.

However, I have studied ways to recognize if your mom may be a narcissist:

She has to have everything perfect and nothing is ever her fault.
They will find fault in you over and over though.
They don’t live in reality. They live in “their” world as they know it.
They always minimize the experience.

There is no reasoning with them, so just remember to not play along with their games.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

When Does Helping Become Enabling & How Many Times Do You Save Your Mom? | Episode 34

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 06:00:00 -0800

There is a difference between helping with love, versus being the person who is allowing the continuation of dysfunction to happen by enabling.

I recently watched a movie called ‘To Leslie’ that was an unexpected success in my book, Andrea Riseborough played Leslie and knocked it out of the park as an alcoholic mom. The reason I say this is because as an adult child of an alcoholic, I could relate! This story hit so close to home and was an accurate depiction of how many times I would try to help my mom but it became enabling.

I learned that healthy boundaries may seem harsh, but are necessary for the health of your personal well-being and your family's.

You should never feel guilty for setting boundaries with a parent who is unstable and damaged in their thinking and posture. Giving them help does NOT help in the long run. When their actions show that they are changing, then you may pop in to see if they really want to get healthy. Change takes time, and it may never happen, wait and see.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Never Have Shame In Naming The Harm That Was Done To You | Episode 33

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 06:00:00 -0800

When is it okay to talk about the hard things in your story? Do you feel as if you are allowed?

To be able to name the things of harm in your story is not only important, it’s necessary for your healing. For far too long the generations of the past have demanded that we “shut up and move on” or tell us “it wasn’t that bad”.

We are told we are being babies and complaining about things we shouldn’t talk about. This is the very reason why most Christians cannot get out of their own way to let God walk them through the grieving before we can get to the healing! We cannot bypass this important piece. You can then learn forgiveness when you clear the path completely and honestly.

Some questions we cover in the episode are:

When is it alright for someone to speak for you?
Do you feel guilt over talking about your past, because it’s over and now you are happy?
Can you love your Mom if you name the harm?
Is forgiveness possible?

Forgiveness and love are always possible and necessary; mostly for you and your future. God intended it that way. It’s the peace that surpasses all understanding. On our own, we can’t do it, with Him all things are possible.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Having Confidence In Trusting Your God-Given Instinct with Stacy Leicht | Episode 32

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Stacy Leicht is an author, speaker, and veteran teacher. Stacy currently works at UNC-Greensboro in the Education Department where she trains future teachers.

Stacy believes there's a story in every seat, and God uniquely made each person with a purpose. She has dealt with physical trauma, being violated by someone she trusted, and the anxiety and fear of having a stalker. Yet, God has replaced those feelings with trust, faithfulness, and abundant love. Stacy's mission is to unveil God's love for each listener, leading them to unplug and reset their lives.

She gave us the four P's today

Pray
Pause
Plan time with God
Partner with others to pray together ( you need your pit team to win the race!)

I had a wonderful chat with Stacy and I hope you all enjoyed it as well!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Truth About Growing Up With Emotionally Immature Parents | Episode 31

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0800

What was it like growing up in your home?

Our feelings count!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Mental Health And Walking Through The Grief With God Looks Like With Andrea M. Nyberg | Episode 30

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Andrea M. Nyberg is an author, speaker, and photographer passionate about (re)framing the collision of faith and mental health and its impact on our identity, emotions, and relationships. Her debut book, I’m Such A Messterpiece, invites others who are facing a crisis of faith and identity to consider that pain and hope can hold hands and a mess can still be a masterpiece. Andrea holds a master of arts in educational leadership from Gateway Seminary and serves in various leadership roles in her church and community.

Check out Andrea M. Nyberg:

Buy her book: https://andreamnyberg.com/im-such-a-messterpiece-book/

Her website: https://andreamnyberg.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreamnyberg/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AndreaMNyberg/

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Loving Your Mom Through Anger, Can You Accomplish It? | Episode 29

Mon, 29 May 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Let’s be honest. . .

You can still love your mom from afar, but what are these feelings of love and hate for our moms?

Can we just “get over” it?

Let's discuss the good, bad, and ugly of having a difficult, abusive mom. And by abusive, it can be emotionally abusive which is sometimes more hurtful than physical because the scars are on the inside. I sat with so many women who have stories of getting angry with their moms and I see others on social media who have excuses for their feelings.

Some questions to think about this week are:

Is your anger valid?
Do you need to tell your mom how you feel, or if she has passed, can you still feel anger and love?
When is it time to let the anger go?
Can you find peace through all of this?
What does grieving look like if she has passed on?

Find ways to take care of your emotions on this. You need to get to a healthy place and let God guide you through it slowly! Do not rush this process. Scream in a pillow. Write a letter and burn it. Tie a knot with a ripped sheet or some kind of material. Pray and sit silently with some Christian (calming) music and when you are ready, untie the knot and the promise that you will NOT continue to let her control you anymore.

Don’t let these feelings overcome you.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Does It Look Like To Be The Best Partner In A Marriage? | Episode 28

Mon, 22 May 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Ariel joined us on the podcast again this week to talk more about being a working mom and how she picked her partner for the support he provides for her emotionally. She has learned that for her, working fulfills her, and gives her purpose, she likes contributing outside of the home and her husband supports her on that 100%. They can communicate with one another the feeling of having a long day at work vs a long day with the kids.

They have found a sense of balance that compliments each other within their marriage and parenthood. For them they share a level of equal responsibility because they are both the parents to their children, they are responsible for them.

Some questions we covered were:

How did you know that working during motherhood was a choice for you?
Why do women take care of their kids, have their careers, and then think it’s all over after the kids leave or they retire?

Don’t let life pass you by, and think that because your child left for college there is nothing else for you to do. Your brain doesn’t expire at 50 years old! Society likes to put urgency on us, but there is no urgency, you can add to your life at any age.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Can You Embrace It All Being A Working Mom? | Episode 27

Mon, 15 May 2023 06:00:00 -0800

We are talking with my oldest daughter Ariel who is a wife, mom of 2 (almost three), and a working mom.

We chat about the balance and the imbalance of being a working mom.

With her current season, she is learning to surrender her own expectations with the constant changes that come with day-to-day life. Plans change, especially with younger children. The biggest lesson she has learned through her pregnancies is to be vocal about her body and mind.

Some of the main questions that we covered are:

Is there mommy guilt to be had when you are a working mom?
What are some struggles that moms are up against today in society?
What would have you done differently if this was your first time expecting?

Her latest venture is being an advocate for other moms in the workplace to open the conversation about paid leave plans from the moment they find out they are pregnant to after the maternity leave is over and they come back to work. She wants to highlight both employees as well, not just the parent carrying the child.

Ariel lives in Orange County, CA with her husband and 2 kids. They are expecting baby number 3 this summer. Professionally, her background is in, marketing where she helps small businesses to scale and grow. Currently, she is a program leader and coach for a business communications firm that works with senior leaders and executives. As her career and family have grown, she has become more aware of the challenges women and parents face in the workplace. As a result, she has committed to helping moms thrive and does so through workplace initiatives and community outreach.

Connect with Ariel at: https://www.arielcorrales.co/ or on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arielcorrales00/

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Do You Do When It’s Time To Take Care Of Your Mom? | Episode 26

Mon, 08 May 2023 06:00:00 -0800

When I got the phone call that my mom had broken her hip, believe me, I wanted to hang up and pretend I never heard it.

My relationship with my mom was not the typical kind and taking care of her (again) was the last thing I wanted to do. When your toxic parent ages and you have to care for them what are you going to do?

When is it a good time to mend the relationship with your mom? When she is ill?

I made a decision that I was going to take care of her, but this time with boundaries. Let’s explore how to help or find help to be a caring daughter (or son) when your mom falls ill and when we have to put some feelings aside to help out a sick parent.

Remember you are the adult, you set the tone. Setting boundaries is crucial to remain true to yourself.

It’s also okay to find help so the burden is not only on you, for outside help to come and fill in so you get a break. Let siblings help so the load is not all on you unless they want to do it themselves.

You will never regret helping when at the end of the day, you will always remember the love that was there.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What Does Preventative Mental Health For Our Children Look Like | Episode 25

Mon, 01 May 2023 06:00:00 -0800

How do we teach our children how to handle their feelings?

In this episode, I want to chat about our children and how to hone their own feelings when stress or anxiety sets in for them.

The questions I want you to walk away with today are:

When is a good time to discuss feelings with your kids?
What is age appropriate in talking about hard things?
What kind of things can we do to help them through these things?

I recently came across the documentary “American Tragedy” which was about the Columbine High School shooting. They interviewed one of the killers' mother; Sue Klebold. It broke my heart because we forget that everyone suffers in this situation.

We need to be better for our kids, so they don’t grow up not knowing how to process emotions and then rage and go off the deep end and hurt others. There is no doubt that what those boys did was horrific, and it keeps happening at a fast pace. So the question becomes “What can we do for these children now to change the narrative of evil?”

If I had a teacher at a young age to really help me process feelings, maybe I could have shared what was really going on in my home and gotten help. Of course I came from a different time and generation, but I can guarantee you that I am always conscious of my grandchildren's emotions. I will be committed to paying attention to subtle clues and keeping communication open.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How Do You Tell Your Story To Your Significant Other’s Parents? | Episode 24

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0800

When you first get introduced to your boyfriend or girlfriend’s family, when is it a good time to talk about your hard past? If you have experienced a different upbringing than the family of your significant other, it can be hard to explain your past. The biggest question is can they embrace you into the family when you have come from a completely different background?

There are some questions to think about after listening to this episode:

When is it a good time to bring up specifics about your family?

What happens if they don’t think you are good enough for their son?

Where does the relationship go if it becomes a battle between him and his parents?

How can you show them who you are in spite of the rough upbringing?

I had to experience this exact situation when I first met Mike’s family. His family isn’t perfect but they definitely had a different upbringing than I did. It wasn’t the easiest at times, but opening up to peoples family’s takes time. It takes time to show them who you are.

Never be ashamed of where you have come from, but make sure you are working on yourself to be confident in where you are now. Listen as well as talk to the people asking the questions. You don’t need to defend something you had no control over. You do have to present yourself as someone they can trust. This takes time.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Family Secrets And Why They Are Bad For Everyone | Episode 23

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0800

When a family keeps secrets thinking the truth will never come out, they are sadly mistaken. Secrets can create collateral damage by not only ruining relationships but causing shame in your generations.

Are you willing to learn how to have truthful but sometimes tough conversations that will always lead to beautiful relationships? I recently had breakfast with a friend where we were sharing some tough things and we got on the subject of how our family’s generation always kept secrets. Things looked great on the outside, but inside the home was so filled with deception and lies!

I hear it all the time and I lived it with my own family. My mom would continuously lie about everything and we would have to sift through the words and actions to figure out what was true.

One of the ways the enemy comes after us is through our families, and if those families are very damaged, he can keep that separation going through secrets.

Let me tell you something; lies will ALWAYS eventually come out.

It may take 5, 10, or 50 years, but the truth will come out.

It has the power to destroy a lot of people the longer the secret is kept. Even if you think you are helping someone, by denying the full truth, it will create a separation in trust.

The collateral damage from my mom telling lies hit all of us kids hard. I know for me, there was a shame attached that didn’t belong to me, for my siblings I know it probably felt the same way. We took on shame and hurt that should never have been our own.

As I sat with my friend, we agreed that secrets never help save anyone. The only thing we can do is to do it differently with our own families. It’s up to us in this generation to build up strong households to contain truthful, loving families.

Even when the truth is hard, it can always be done with love and forgiveness.

Secrets kill, truth lives!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Secret To A Happy Marriage And How To Create A Strong Foundation | Episode 22

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0800

How do you create the marriage you have always dreamed of? What is the secret to a happy marriage? In my opinion, it is staying the course! We will dive into the good, bad, and ugly of what marriage really is and why it’s not for the faint of heart.

There is an innocence of what we think marriage is when we are young and as you get older, life can take over. When we say those vows, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, you have to understand that those scenarios will come into play during a 30+ year marriage. On the other hand, don't let your partner complete, but compliment you. You should be a whole person before you get married, not after. Your spouse should bring out the best parts in you.

Most of you know that this is my second marriage and God has blessed me immensely with it, but it hasn't always been an easy road. I can name situations that pertain to each of those vows and the struggles that came from them. In the end though, marriage is a beautiful thing and I know that my husband always has my back, is my best friend, and will always be my favorite person in this world.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How I Hold Pride In Being A Highly Sensitive Person | Episode 21

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Do not let anyone undermine what makes you feel safe and comfortable. You have “bucked up” long enough. Making time for friends that understand and energize you instead of connections that deplete us is fine.

Want to stop apologizing for feeling different from your friends or most of the world?

Do you get anxious and excited to be invited to social events?

Is your comfort zone your home? Do you prefer to be alone rather than with a bunch of friends?

Do loud noisy restaurants, or outside noises make you especially crazy?

Would you rather have soft fabrics against your skin than a stiff cotton shirt?

If you answered “yes” to one or all of these things, you may be an HSP better known as a Highly Sensitive Person. Most people don’t understand or want to understand us. But once you meet people like you, you feel less weird or alone. I’m going to talk about how I found out this was an actual diagnosis and how it made me feel so much better about why I do the things I do.

Recognize these things in yourself, don’t be ashamed of them or make excuses for them. I say embrace them and learn more about what an HSP is. One of my favorite people who taught me the most about this is my friend Cheri Gregory who has a membership online called “Sensitive & Strong”. She is a wealth of inspiration and has written several books on this subject. Check her out if you need to know more.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Accept & Heal There’s No Need To Be Ashamed Of Where You Came From! | Episode 20

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 06:00:00 -0800

When you have grown up with a different childhood, you might have a hard time accepting the past. In this episode, we are going to talk about the shame that comes from having that hard story.

Do you often have a hard time speaking about your childhood because it doesn’t sound like everyone else? Are you afraid you will scare people away with your “movie of the week” life? I hear ya, and let's break this down so it doesn’t become a hindrance for you.

So I guess the question becomes also; are you having a hard time accepting your childhood because you are ashamed or you think it’s unfair? Because as you see everyone else having these experiences that you didn’t get to play a part in, is there jealousy or an ache to have been able to do things differently?

Are you at peace with where you are now in your life?
Do you still blame your parents for not giving you a “normal” childhood?
Is there shame attached to the things that have happened to you that you can’t get past? Why?

Begin to search your heart and take your time exploring what it is that you need to make you feel at peace with what has happened to you. If you need to cry it out and dig deeper, find a therapist that can walk you through this. It takes time and you shouldn’t rush this process

Know that who you are now matters and you have done and been through really hard things. I am so proud of you for continuing to be on your mind/health journey.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

When Is Going No Contact With Your Mom A Good Idea? | Episode 19

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 06:00:00 -0800

When you feel like being around your mom is no longer an option. What do you do? There is no need for guilt if there is danger around you concerning your mother. You can still love your mother if she is not in your life.

I had a member in my Facebook group ask this question a while back, and it bears talking about it. For as much as we would love to wrap a nice little bow around healing and forgiveness when it comes to our mothers, I don't believe it is healthy or possible sometimes. I have heard some gruesome stories of mothers that are so mentally ill, still walking around living life, but really not healthy or safe. However, if you asked in a good Christian community group, the answer most times would be “ask God to bring your mom back to you and you can both forgive all, He can make it happen.”

I believe a part of that.

He can heal all and have us forgive all. But that only works if both parties are healthy and ready for change.

There are some questions I want you to ask yourself if you think going no contact with your mom is the best choice for you:

If the situation is physically or very emotionally dangerous, it’s time for no contact
If there is any way to set a boundary, to protect yourself when things get too scary
Who can you reach out to when you just need to vent; to help make better decisions, someone who will listen but not fix?

Always follow the Holy Spirit's promptings; He will guide you. You will know in your gut if it’s dangerous and time for no contact!

Be safe first!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Don’t Hold Shame When Your Siblings Question Why You Have Outgrown Your Past | Episode 18

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Have you ever had a sibling or close relative get jealous because you suddenly have a life change for the better? It’s almost inevitable that when you finally break free from your past “scarcity” mindset, you will get pushback from those who have remained the same.

Remember who you are and where God has placed you. You are not tied to every person in your family forever and ever. Amen. You are meant for more. So are they. If they are willing to step out of the comfortable/everyday things they have settled into they can begin to see that things can be different.

I had the moment when I realized that I had become different from my childhood family. After going through that I asked myself:

Do you hold back from your dreams and desires because other people in your family don’t have what you have?
Can you create a positive mindset of listening to God’s prompting to help you have a better life?
Do you self-sabotage in this area to please others? If you do, please stop. You are helping no one.

And speaking of help; when it is appreciated, do you share the things you can to help others in your family? Do they see how your abundance can be a blessing in all of your lives?

Write down the reasons why you don’t want to stay in the place you are currently if it is not good. If it is good, write down all the things/ways you can help others with the blessings God has given you.

Stop feeling Guilty! If God wants to use you for different things in different areas, in different statuses, listen to that and keep going! Don’t let the jealousy or small mindset of people stop you!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How Do You Know If Your Mother/Daughter Relationship Is Healthy with Tina Yeager

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Today we are chatting with Tina Yeager. She is an award-winning author, speaker, and life coach, Tina Yeager hosts the Flourish-Meant podcast and Flourish Today on Christian Mix 106 and publishes Inkspirations Online, a weekly writers’ devotional.

She has been licensed as a counselor since 2005, which came in handy when we started talking about the healthy boundaries between mothers and daughters.

Yeager serves as director of traditional groups with Word Weavers International and as an active member of the Christian Women in Media Association.

For life coaching tips or to book her as an event speaker, visit tinayeager.com.

Look for her books, Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory Over the Lies Formed Against You and Upcycled: Crafted for a Purpose.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Want to read my book? Purchase a signed copy here: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Should You Heal The Toxic Relationship With Your Mom And/Or Siblings? | Episode 16

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Our healing depends on getting real about what the situation is and how we can work through it.

Your own healing is THE most important part of the healing relationship. It doesn’t matter if they want to join you on this journey. Oftentimes they probably won’t. You must not stifle the progress you need to make in order to heal.
The way they accept the process will tell you a lot about whether you should continue a conversation about this or not.
Are you wanting the healing to make yourself feel better (comforted temporarily), or do you really want to change the relationship, when is it time to take a break or walk away in love?

Always decide whether the thing you want is moving you towards your own healing process and God’s healing or if it is just a temporary fix.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

When Is It A Good Time To Share Your Broken Mother Story? | Episode 15

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Is there ever a good time to share your mommy issues story? In this episode, we are going to go over eliminating the shame of growing up in a toxic relationship with your mother and sharing it with others.

When do you tell someone new about your past? Should you?
When is it time to just not say anything?
Can you feel safe and protected when sharing about your messed up mom?

For so many years I would rather chew on wood (not really) than explain my childhood with my mom TO ANYONE! Now that I have written a book about it, it usually becomes a topic of conversation at weddings, funerals, conferences, church, and pretty much anywhere I go! However, I would tell you that when I am out of town and no one knows about me, I vet people out as to how much information I share about my past or my family. So how do you know?

Let’s go over some of these questions today:

Is there such a thing as oversharing?
When is it never a good time to share (ahhh…maybe in line at the grocery store?)LOL
Do you feel safe sharing a part of yourself with this person?
Will you ever get rid of the shame associated with growing up in this environment?

Learn appropriate boundaries around your story. It’s perfectly okay to keep quiet and feel safe. Don’t let anyone shame you with their shock or awe. You are a thriver, not just a survivor! And remember, everyone has “crazy” in their family.

Do you need to learn how to temper your story? What are specific things you can say without revealing all?

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

Purchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmothered

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

The Fearless Mujer Podcast: Growing up "Unmothered" and overcoming generational dysfunction

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Listen in on this amazing podcast episode I recorded with The Fearless Mujer Podcast. We chatted about generational dysfunction that I've grown up in and more about my story that share in my book Unmothered: Life With A Mom Who Couldn't Love Me.

If you enjoy this episode share it with friends and don't forget to leave a review to help spread this message with other women who may need to hear it.

Also checkout the Fearless Mujer over on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thefearlessmujerpodcast/

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

What It Feels Like Sharing Your Hard Story | Episode 13

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0800

I just came back from a trauma class in Chicago. There we had to start digging into parts of our story that have been buried to survive. We spend half our lives just surviving the trauma that has been done to us.

This class left me stunned with the realization that I had never dug into my story of being taken from the only home I had known in my eight years of life. What do we do to keep going through the traumas of our life? Today we will find out why it is important to hold those stories well and grieve them. It is only then that we can start getting honest about why our bodies react to triggers and start regulating our minds and bodies to a better space.

Some questions I want you to think about after today’s episode is:

Do you know your hard story?
Are you willing to ask questions about it even if it means learning that your parents may have played a part in the trauma?
Do you want to start the change of familiar habits that don’t serve you well anymore? (self-protection, walls of protection)

We need to ask God to help us get healthy and not just survive but thrive! When you can get truthful about all the things that you have gone through and start working out your hard story, you will find freedom. Find someone (most likely a coach or a therapist) that you can share some hard truths with. Stop and breathe when you feel the old patterns start to rise up and ask yourself why it is happening. Grieve your trauma well, but then learn that you need to let it go!

Ask God to help you with all of this. Ask Him to point out the things that are holding you back from all He wants you to be.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

“Unmothered: Overcoming the Wound of Abandonment”: A Conversation On the Arise Esther Podcast

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 06:00:00 -0800

I was honored to be a guest on the Arise Esther Podcast by Dawn Scott Damon. We had such a great conversation!

Here is a little bit about Dawn:

Dawn Scott Damon is known as the BraveHearted Mentor; Coaching for women over 40. She is a speaker, podcast host, mentor, and award-winning author.

Dawn is a favorite keynote conference speaker and an engaging communicator who inspires her audience to maximize their God-given purpose and potential in Christ. Dreams are ignited as Dawn uses sound biblical teaching, personal stories, and humor to awaken gifts and callings found in everyone.

Don't forget to check out her podcast Arise Esther on Apple Podcasts! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/arise-esther-this-is-your-moment/id1523473513

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Know If You Need A Mama Mentor | Episode 11

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 06:00:00 -0800

How do we know if we need a mentor and how we can find one that we trust? This is a tricky proposition and one you can’t take lightly. It must be thought out and seek someone you can trust with your heart. Let’s walk through the ways you can find the right woman to help you with issues we should be able to go to our moms with, but someone that can step in and fill those shoes for a bit.

How many times have you wished you could pick up the phone and call your mom? Or drive over and have coffee or breakfast with her and pour out all your struggles or just need advice? Then, the reality sets in that we don’t have those kinds of moms! However, that shouldn’t stop us from learning and being nurtured by other older moms that we admire and respect. We need to learn from other moms that have gone before us. We are not alone and we can partner with a “mama-like” woman and learn the lessons she has walked through already.

Some questions that we cover today are:

Why do you need a mama mentor?
How do you find them?
When do you know it’s safe to open up your heart to them?

When is it time to do it on your own again?

Learning to partner with another only brings more blessings to our family. Start today by asking for help from someone you admire or see if there is a mentorship program at your local church.

Don’t do motherhood alone, reach out to friends too, and let God bless you with a village of “mama mentors!”

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Are You Afraid Of Success? How To Start Living The Life That You Dream And Desire | Episode 10

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 06:00:00 -0800

With the New Year before us and everyone talking about goals, intentions, and dreams, do you wonder if there is anything good this year for you? Are you allowed to dream big? Is it wrong to think about being better than where you have come from? In this episode let me break it down for you to realize why we(as UnMothereds) are afraid of success, why we sabotage ourselves out of it, and what we can do to start living the life we dream and desire! Because after all, life can be good.

I have three ways that helped me overcome the self-sabotaging cycle:

Thinking that success is a straight win to the top! (hint: there is tension in the transition, and you can actually “fail up!”) Nothing is a failure unless you stop!
Just because your relatives (ie; siblings, mom or dad, cousins) don’t have what you have or want, doesn’t mean you should shrink back. Thank God for the blessing and move on!
We have a horrible habit (which is actually trauma) of never finishing a project, it makes it hard to be on the success track when we can’t concentrate right. Get help for this and recognize it!

If you find yourself in this same position, reach out to me. I can offer you coaching advice on how to create your dream life. This is a great example of where coaching can really help! Let's set up a game plan for you to think and pray differently!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Where Are My Baby Boomers At? | Episode 9

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 06:00:00 -0800

Yes, I am a baby boomer. I’m a 65-year-old woman and proud of it! My question for all the women out there today is why do we stop dreaming of things we really want to accomplish and how we can get back on track?

Today I want to dive into the false narrative that once we reach a certain age, we are not relevant anymore. No one ever shares with us that our second chapter is just beginning! Our freedom from children and housework and the mundane is over. We are coming out of our cocoons today! What are your dreams? What makes your heart spark? Where do you want to place your time? It could be in volunteering or a whole new career in that you can make your own hours and set the pace. Whatever it is…let’s talk about it!

Wondering where to start? Let’s make sure we have a vision for this next chapter
One thing is for sure; you need to keep your body and mind healthy

What would your perfect day look like? Do you get up early-or do you like to wake up slowly in the morning and stare out the window (hand raised to me!)

Where does your husband or significant other or grown kids, or grandkids fit into this new you and schedule?

Whatever the outcome, be in control of this next chapter. Make the most of your golden years and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t…

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Handle Holiday Chaos | Episode 8

Mon, 26 Dec 2022 06:00:00 -0800

When the holidays are filled with family gatherings and such, these times can be extremely chaotic, especially for mothers or wives. For some reason, the responsibility has fallen on us over the years and I wanted to talk to you all today to remind you that, that doesn't need to be the case.

Here are some things to keep in mind this Christmas season:

There is no rule saying you have to do it all
Don't forget to ask for help!
Take the time to breathe, meditate, and remember that this season is to celebrate the birth of Jesus
Start to think of your new year intentions or word for 2023

I hope you all have a great holiday and a happy new year! I know that my family and I are very excited to be spending some quality time altogether this season!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

How To Set Healthy Boundaries | Episode 7

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 06:00:00 -0800

Today we are talking about how we can set healthy boundaries without guilt from outside perspectives. A lot of people don’t understand that when you have to consistently ‘mother your mother’ you need to set those healthy boundaries.

I want to discuss what this looks like and why it’s necessary to keep good protections around you. Lately so much has been said about “boundaries”. I see it all over social media, the famous Christian author Lysa TerKeurst has written a book about it and I hear celebrities throwing the word around in places like reality tv shows. These books and studies have been around for a very long time, Dr. Henry Cloud wrote the book “Boundaries” many years ago. Let’s dive into this important subject as an UnMothered, so you can set the practice of setting your own healthy boundaries when it comes to your mother/daughter relationships.

Some common questions I hear surrounding this topic are:

What does a healthy boundary look like?

How we can get strong enough to say “no” and set the boundary?

What happens when the boundary is set and they walk away?

Where do you go from here now that you have solid boundaries?

Make sure the future you want always includes healthy boundaries and standing in the truth of what you want your life to look like. This includes things in your job, relationships, and even your faith.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

5 Tips On How To Handle The Holidays So You Don't Stress | Episode 6

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 06:00:00 -0800

If I’m being honest, the holidays are not my favorite time of year. I only had memories of my parents physically and verbally fighting when I was little. Then my mom continued to do harm to anyone she was with, and would turn her wrath on us kids.

It took many years and some really great kids of mine to help me relax and enjoy the beauty of the holidays. I still have some hard spots in it, but now with grandkids, I feel reborn to enjoy and see the togetherness for what it is...gratefulness for family.

Over the years, I’ve learned 5 steps that help me handle the holidays so I don’t stress out over them:

-Ask for help

-Make a list of what you are cooking and what you need to do around the house before everyone comes over

-Order a pre-made meal if you are not a cook. No shame in getting the meal delivered either!

-If you are a guest, ask what you can bring and help out where you can

-Sit someone apart from that person that bugs you the most

Lastly, put an end time of when you need to leave for your own sanity. I hope these tips help you out with the holiday season! If you have any other tips, send me a message on my Instagram, I’d love to connect.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Breaking Down Generational Dysfunction | Episode 5

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 14:00:56 -0800

In this episode, I wanted us to start understanding what breaking generational dysfunction looks like and what it doesn’t. (Hint: it’s not a curse or a sin!). I’m here today to give you some examples of where it started and how we can be the “chain breakers” to end the toxic examples of our parental past.

I mentioned that I pulled our posing question from Sharon Peykar on Instagram. I highly recommend going and following her over at @sitwithsharon or https://www.instagram.com/sitwithsharon/. She is not only a relationship coach, but she is also a licensed therapist!

The question she presented was, “Growing up in dysfunction made me think this was normal. . .”

It took me a long time to realize that the sins/or toxicity of my mother didn’t just start with her. If we dig into the “why” our mothers (or fathers) do the toxic things they do toward us, maybe we can have some empathy or understanding of their dysfunction and learn to change that behavior in our own families.

In this episode, I want you to start thinking about:

How the choices you make today will honor or dishonor your future generations.
The dysfunction your mother has or had is not a reflection of how you will mother your children
What good traditions can you create that can last through the generations and be a new stronghold in your family?
What kind of family would you want if you could dream/pray it into reality? Don’t give up on this, it can happen!

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

6 Ways To Calm Yourself When Triggers Arise | Episode 4

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 13:00:00 -0800

In last week's episode, we talked about the different traumas and triggers you may face when dealing with a toxic past. I want to give you 6 of my favorite tips on how to calm your body when stressed or when something starts to trigger you. I always say that your body holds onto your trauma, so you need to care for it when it starts to feel distressed!

Breathe
Take a Walk or Exercise
Set The Mood That Calms You
Feel Your Feet
Bubble Bath
Journal and Prayer

These are just some ways that I stay in the now of the moment and not be triggered by my past, or if I am triggered what helps me calm my mind and body down. I have learned how to ground myself with help from different experts. Now I know how to handle these hard situations and be kind to my body and mind.

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

My Journey Through Pregnancy & Infant Loss | Episode 3

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 13:00:00 -0800

In today’s episode, we are going deep and hitting on a sensitive topic. This episode is in honor of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month.

If you had told me that at 26 years old, I would have to go through one of the hardest things in my life, I never would have believed you. The loss of a baby is the most grief I have ever experienced to this day, but something I never have talked about is a miscarriage I suffered as a teen. Today we are ripping off the bandaid to these things that most women experience but never talk about.

We are covering the questions surrounding miscarriage, teen pregnancy, and infant loss such as:

What does it look like to lose a baby as a young mom? Can you get through it?
How do we maneuver through the suffering of infant loss or miscarriage?
Who do we reach out to after this happens?
Are we being honest with things that happen to us as women with other women?

If you haven’t reached out for therapy or to talk about the struggles you may have gone through, I highly encourage you to find a therapist or counselor. Another great source I mentioned in the episode, was my dear friend Vanessa Guardado who is a pregnancy & infant loss support facilitator. Go follow her on Instagram.

@vanessa_c_guardado: https://www.instagram.com/vanessa_c_guardado/

Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunity

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or counselor.

Trials, Triggers, and Traumas, Oh My! | Episode 2

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 13:30:00 -0800

In this episode, I want to provide you with tips on how to identify your traumas and triggers in your day-to-day life. I will share some personal examples of what triggers and traumas look like in my life and some ways I cope with them.

Last week we talked about Gabby Windey from The Bachelorette and how she was ‘triggered’. Not everyone understands these different triggers and understand that are associated with the trauma you have witnessed or been through. It took me a long time to realize what my mind and body were doing and why I would shut down or run away from things that set me off.

Trials will come when you are in a relationship and one thing they do can set you off, but that shouldn't stop you from communicating it to them. A good partner will listen to what trail you have been through and make a note not to trigger you when they can help it. Next week we are going to talk about different ways to ground yourself and help you stay in the now, not the past.

Don’t forget to subscribe or leave a review on how you like this episode!

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Your Mother's Issues Are Your Mother's Issues | Episode 1

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 13:30:00 -0800

The UnMothered Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/

Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/

Welcome to The UnMothered Podcast with Phylis Mantelli

Thu, 08 Sep 2022 19:07:08 -0800

When life gives you a toxic mother, what do you do? You listen, learn, and change your direction! I’m Phylis Mantelli, author of the book “UnMothered: Life With A Mom Who Couldn’t Love Me”. I want to give you mentoring and encouragement you may have never had. Let’s create some new thoughts and patterns with things I’ve worked through and with some amazing God-filled experts. Women who have walked through the same road can give us wisdom. I will support you on this journey and bring some good advice and lots of love as we find our way to becoming who we are meant to be, no matter where we started.

If you want to be connected with other women who struggle with a toxic mother-daughter relationship, join my UnMothered Community Facebook Group. You can always find me over on Instagram too if you want to get in touch!

Are you ready peeps? Let’s get started!