We love to romanticize the next version of ourselves — the stronger woman, the successful woman, the healed woman, the woman with more purpose, more freedom, more impact.

But nobody really talks about the pressure it can take to become her.

In this episode of Untamed Spirits, I’m talking about what happens when the life you asked for doesn’t arrive looking anything like you imagined. When growth feels like loss. When pressure feels like punishment. When you start wondering, Why the fuck is all of this happening?

I’ve started asking myself a different question:

What is this building in me?

Because maybe every hard season isn’t here to destroy you.

Maybe some of it is revealing you.

Maybe some of it is strengthening you.

And maybe the woman you keep asking to become is being built right fucking here.

In this episode of Untamed Spirits, I’m talking about fear—starting the thing, taking the chance, walking away, failing, and stepping into the unknown.

I’m not saying be reckless. I’m saying stop letting fear become the author of your fucking life.

None of us are guaranteed tomorrow.

Fear can come with you. It just doesn’t get to drive.

The mom.

The partner.

The employee.

The manager.

The one holding it all together.

And then one morning my nervous system finally said:

“Can someone take care of me for five fucking minutes?”

Not because I’m weak.

Not because I’m failing.

Because I’ve been carrying too much for too long.

If you’ve been holding everything together while quietly falling apart inside, this episode is for you.

Because after everything — the drugs, the jail, the chaos, the grief, the self-destruction, the survival mode — I’m still here.

And for the first time in a long time… I’m genuinely grateful for my life.

Not because it’s perfect.

Not because everything went my way.

But because I know what it feels like to lose yourself… and fight your way back.

This episode is about gratitude that comes after pain.

The kind that hits different when you’ve survived yourself.

Untamed Spirits — raw, real, no filters.

This is the part of my life where the partying stopped being fun…

and started costing me everything.

I went from blackout weekends, drugs, and chasing a high

to sitting in the back of a cop car at 18…

facing an attempted murder charge.

A year in jail.

Cold reality.

No distractions left.

In this episode, I get real about what meth did to my brain,

how fast things escalated when I surrounded myself with the wrong people,

and the moment it all caught up to me.

I talk about the fear.

Seeing my dad through glass.

Thinking my life was over before it even started.

But I also talk about the shift —

the wake-up call that forced me to look at who I was becoming

and decide if I was done… or if I was going to keep going down.

If you’ve ever felt out of control…

like you’re in too deep…

like one decision could change everything —

this episode is for you.

This is where the truth hit.

And nothing was the same after that.

Working full time. Being a mom. Building something that matters. Holding space for everyone.

Trying not to lose myself in the process.

By the time I walked into that hotel room, my nervous system was fried. I wanted to rip my fucking hair out.

And then I closed the door. Dropped my body on the bed. And felt relief hit me like oxygen. This episode isn’t about doing more. It’s about what happens when you finally stop. When you choose yourself before you break.

🎙️ Untamed Spirits This one is for the women who are tired of being strong and ready to stop abandoning themselves.

I take you into the party house where it all started, the all-nighters at the skating rink, my first DUl at 19, and the brutal truth behind why I drank-not to celebrate, but to disappear.

This is where the "the strong one" was born, the party girl armor was built, and the addict identity took root before I even had a chance to grow up.

This isnt healing-this is war. This is nervous system regulation for the woman who never felt safe. This is emotional reparenting for the girls who were left alone with trauma. This is your permission to feel what you've been swallowing for decades.

If you've ever felt too far gone, to fucked up, or too broken to begin again-this episode is for you.

In this intro episode, I get fucking raw about who I am, where I’ve been, and why this podcast exists. This is not a soft self-help space. It’s for the women who’ve survived the chaos — the drugs, the jail, the broke nights, the fake smiles, the trauma no one else knows about — and are ready to rise the hell back up.

If you’re done being the “strong one” for everyone else and ready to finally be the free one for yourself, this is your space.

 Hit subscribe, share this with your girls, and get ready — because Untamed Spirits starts NOW.