What's Your Problem With Nick Abbot and Carol McGiffin

Too real

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 14:05:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol takes 30 selfies, Nick snaps some blooms and they help with googling the doctor and with tea trays.

Nuclear rainbow tablets

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 13:25:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol thinks Nick has peaked, Nick begs to differ and the help with weather alerts and with stinky caddies.

She likes him for his mind!

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 11:00:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol goes fishing, Nick isn't biting, and they help with loud notifications and with mending things.

Peering through hair

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol takes an accidental selfie, Nick can't avoid seeing it, and they help with peeing on TV and with filling an extra seat.

Hot Quokka Action

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 12:10:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets out of the bath, Nick doesn't get in his and they help with not retiring and with very big numbers.

Clementines for stupid people

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 12:00:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol's jet-lag gets worse, Nick checks his settin's and they help with a mystery song and with saying "right".

Rude connotations

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 11:50:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is getting over her jet-lag, Nick has advice for train companies and they help with saving the planet and with getting exhausted doing nothing.

We're back!

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 14:05:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick and Carol are very sorry, Carol has a Thai breakfast, Nick has a too rare burger and they help with celebrity deaths and with what people are singing.

We're on a break!

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 12:15:00 +0100

What's your problem is going on a short break. We should be back mid March.

Click clack, not thunk thunk

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 13:20:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets bad laminate, Nick has oddly quiet builders, and they help with a neighbourly question and with teaching grandma old tricks

The cleaner wears Gucci

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 12:29:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has hers taken every night except Saturday, Nick has his done too early on Mondays, and they help with wild swimming and with picking a bag.

Captain Mainwaring says "no"

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 13:26:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick has had it up to here with a particular family, Carol thinks it is a plot, and they help with zips and websites that follow you.

Earworm alert!

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 10:38:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick can't get a song out of his head, Carol tires of the pressure to watch a certain TV programme, and they help with over-acting and with what to do with a camel.

Going to China on purpose

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 10:37:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is not sympathetic, Nick makes up for that, and they help with fuelling your body as opposed to your car, and with saying too much.

Highbrow and intellectual

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 13:37:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol says she's not as sipper, Nick believes her, and they help with publishing a poem and with sitting properly.

Ticketed!

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 13:29:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick tries to appeal a fine, Carol guarantees his success, and they help with airline safety equipment and with gym etiquette

Nuh Hooz Ferra Swally?

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 14:39:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick cleans up after other people, Carol inspects the kitchenette, and they help with what to do if you missed 13 years and with two Doolittles.

Artificial stupidity

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 10:57:00 +0100

In this 400th edition, Nick sings Happy Birthday, Carol does a big clean, and they help with accidentally causing celebrities to expire and with people getting in the way on trains.

Carol "Three Dinners" McGiffin

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 14:13:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets her selfie sticks out, Nick turns around and says "Um", and they help with which side to sleep on and with paying by cheque.

The Giant Woofer

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 12:43:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol goes in and out, Nick goes up and down and they help with orienting a toilet roll and with a flirty boss.

I can't get no reservation

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 13:25:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol doesn't want to party, Nick fails to book lunch and they help with getting a haircut and with people who say "long story short"

Bleary-eyed and staggering

Fri, 12 Dec 2025 11:17:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is all at sea, Nick warns about life on the ocean wave and they help with people who say "dear" and with self-checkouts.

Mumble Mode

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 10:46:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol shows off her dongle, Nick puts his 'phones on and they help with a person's nuts and with turning the music up.

Untucked and dishevelled.

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 12:16:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol prepares the canapes, Nick splashes it all over and they help with confusing adverts and with have-a-go-heroes.

Keep that racket down!

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 13:27:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol leaves the lights on, Nick turns up the heat and they help with noisy co-workers and with subtitles on TV

Noises off

Fri, 28 Nov 2025 12:27:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol sees a terrible film, Nick has the builders in and they hear a poem about politics and help with all-inclusive hotels.

Wizardry and chemistry

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 13:29:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol and Nick name DJs who say 'Hi', and they help with a potential offence and with supermarket loyalty cards

The wheels fall off

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 11:28:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is corrected, Nick assists with the correcting and they help with keeping a house in New Zealand and with fear of flying a prop plane.

Hat, coat, scarf and gloves

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 11:10:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets impatient with the kettle, Nick tries not to stare at a guitarist and they help with a tricky name change and with cooking eggs.

Sprouting

Fri, 14 Nov 2025 10:48:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol over-does the brassicas, Nick shares a recipe and they help with fridge fiends and with not being listened to.

Not Available

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 11:53:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol peeks at monkeys, Nick marvels at seahorses and they help with the Royal Family and with how to get through winter.

Last year's feathers

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 11:13:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol takes issue with an animal fan, Nick get emotional watching a Xmas TV ad and the help with tea or coffee and with the star of Frozen.

Your wife's in aisle 14

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 13:49:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is incommunicado, Nick has an appointment with a star and they help with remembering things and with losing your other half on a shopping trip

A top-up

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 10:42:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol dunks a biscuit, Nick acts like a waiter and they help with ordering water and with youths dressing alike.

The undercover undertaker

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 11:03:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol picks her favourite forever place, Nick wants an investigation into the forever business and they help with an after-life problem and with relocating.

Nibbling the baguette

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 10:35:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol tries to get change, Nick corrects her maths and they help with getting served at the bar and with a struggling artist.

'Allo!

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 12:25:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick and Carol get a theme tune and they help with school gymnasiums and with doggy-doo disposal.

The worst thing in the world

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 11:54:00 +0100

In this episode, carol spots something on public transport, Nick turns that up to 11 and they help with a window opener and with finding younger friends.

Kill 'em all!

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 10:37:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol takes on nature, Nick rides shotgun and they help with light-fingered customers and with doing other people's washing up.

Unloosening

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 09:30:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets a machine, Nick does it by hand and they help with the right glass and with ketchup going missing

Two dedicated non-followers of fashion

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 13:36:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has a sloosh, Nick gets poetical and they help with a teeth issue and with arming Carol.

Apologies to Frankie Valli

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 13:50:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol misunderstands a pop song, Nick invents a drinking accessory and they help with going to sleep and with walking backwards.

The Turkey Issue

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 16:53:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol doesn't spot a Cadillac, Nick does and they help with a bonus and with gym goers who smell too nice

Having a fondule

Fri, 26 Sep 2025 11:15:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol puts her blue jeans on, Nick gives up his flares and they help with references and with not having children.

The sound of minds being blown

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 12:05:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick and Carol stare off into space and they help with gravity and flashing.

The art of sitting down

Fri, 19 Sep 2025 11:30:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol brags about a kitchen accessory, Nick denies having one and they help with a nightmare neighbour and with toaster crumbs

There's no "P" in her "OOL"

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 11:57:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol remembers a sticky carpet, Nick gets woken by a roller-coaster and they help with a confused fan and with separating the lids.

Skipping

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 12:05:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is lost in a fog, Nick does his lighthouse impersonation and they help with weight loss jabs and with skip etiquette.

Page 89!

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 12:08:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol serves up a savage swipe, Nick manages to dodge it and they help with getting a promotion and with insomnia

The Person Proficiency Test

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 11:52:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol wears a puffy pink dress, Nick has never seen anything like it and they help with a difficult son and with peek-a-boo neighbours

Numb and Number

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 11:43:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick doesn't take a selfie, Carol thinks he should and they help with a loud hospital ward and with opening your exam results on TV.

Pertinent

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 11:28:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick checks his settings, Carol is confident that she doesn't have to and they help with a small convenience and a very confusing wedding

Awkward and Difficult

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 10:07:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is awkward and Nick is difficult, or might be the other way round and they help with people who open doors for you and with obsessing about hygiene ratings.

The Twingo Encounter

Fri, 22 Aug 2025 12:47:00 +0100

This week, Carol attacks Australians, Nick leaps to their defence and they help with a complaining listener and with "be nice to staff" signs.

Spitballers

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 10:25:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets some lip from her husband, Nick agrees with him and they help with taking wine to a dinner party and with a toothpaste dilemma.

Suffering from Asteroids

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 12:00:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick gets a haircut he didn't want, Carol denies grooming herself and they help with a stupid smart phone and hear from a satisfied customer

Footie food

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 11:39:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick finds it, Carol fixes it and they flog it, and they help with film warnings and fun sponges.

Doing time

Fri, 08 Aug 2025 11:44:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol visits the nick, Nick sings a carol and they help with an inactive husband and with the perforations on toilet rolls.

Sweet sleepy music

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 13:28:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is stymied by the Chinese, Nick tries a cartoon beer and they help with 20mph zones and with Nick and Carol's sausages and dingleberries.

Girl keeps swinging

Fri, 01 Aug 2025 11:17:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol sets up her pool office, Nick has an imposing visitor and they help with people who don't call back and with a new barber.

Off her trolley

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 11:18:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol finds it where she left it, Nick walks a spooky corridor and they help with difficult customers and dirty cars.

In a canoodle

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 18:31:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol launders money, Nick gives up on folding it and they help with finding a rental and with fakeness.

Not sucking or blowing

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 10:25:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is deciding what to get for Nick's birthday, Nick has already decided what to get for hers and they help with password management and with noisy pipes.

The anonymous mover

Fri, 18 Jul 2025 11:19:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has a procedure, Nick thinks she shouldn't have another and they help with an autograph hunter and with a Mexican stand-off.

"No" seems to be the hardest word

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 11:19:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol puts hers all over, Nick puts his on the side and they help with a vets bill and with a supervisor's favourite.

A couple of monkeys

Fri, 11 Jul 2025 10:23:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has a nice ding, Nick can't find one and they help with career advice and with dating older people.

Making a distinct noise

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 14:16:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is in trouble again, Nick can't believe it and they help with a bad TV recommendation and with a mother-in-law on a boat.

The truthful not stupid genius

Fri, 04 Jul 2025 10:13:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is under aerial attack, Nick is as sympathetic as you would expect and they help with a working holiday request and with sorting rubbish.

Carol lets one go

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 10:11:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol makes an allegation, Nick claims he is innocent and they help with over-packing for Cornwall and with dining table etiquette.

Skipping through Ikea

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 11:23:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol takes a delivery, Nick fills in the gap while she's away and they mention a few old rockers who are probably doomed now and help with a cleaner.

Skulking around

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 10:09:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol proposes to Alan Sugar, Nick waves his arms around and they help with an annoying gardener and with another podcast.

Carol paps herself

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 11:38:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets a delivery, Nick imagines what it might be and they refuse to give up their last of something and help with spelling.

The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Bowie

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 10:37:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is shocked at her feed, Nick doesn't like his much either and they help with a complaining cat and with personal space issues.

Not satisfactory

Fri, 13 Jun 2025 12:06:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol starts a fight with A.I., Nick gives her his full support and they help with a collapsing university and with polite conversation

A twerking sensation

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 12:11:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol needs silence to work, Nick isn't providing any and they help with a wobbly table and with what goes in the fridge.

Hot buns!

Fri, 06 Jun 2025 12:12:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol fails the hygiene regulations, Nick digs for victory and they help with a wobbly table and with small uninvited guests

A bad gooey

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 10:59:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick and Carol get a nice note and they help with getting rid of a shed-full of stuff and with what not to name a baby girl.

The Dead End

Fri, 30 May 2025 10:09:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol reads the menu, Nick can't get a reservation and they cause a power cut and help with a breakfast bar.

Bleeping Impossible

Mon, 26 May 2025 14:32:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has a request, Nick isn't taking requests and they help with a day out and with shrinking clothes

Is breathing good for you?

Fri, 23 May 2025 11:59:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol takes a compliment, Nick isn't sure it is one and they help with an unglamorous job and with parents who refuse to text.

The imperfect host

Mon, 19 May 2025 12:59:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is doling out the jobs, Nick cancels his booking and they help with a pining dog lover and with getting out of a car.

Raining glue

Fri, 16 May 2025 12:49:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets her bush trimmed, Nick pays someone to act like a monkey and they help with staying slim and with daytime TV adverts.

In the dog house

Mon, 12 May 2025 11:17:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is a Parisian prostitute, Nick fails to be sophisticated and they help with slipper socks and with critiquing a friend’s book

The Topless Lunch

Fri, 09 May 2025 12:40:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol makes sure she doesn't get irate first thing in the morning, Nick is very grateful and they help with organising sex and with an eating problem.

The "cow place"

Mon, 05 May 2025 11:51:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets prepared, Nick thinks about doing the same and they help with a power outage and with funeral souvenirs.

Mid-life crisis trousers

Fri, 02 May 2025 11:53:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick and Carol are being tested and they help with a pesky fly and with talking dirty.

Not suitable for children under 50

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 11:17:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is on an emotional roller-coaster, Nick takes cover and they help with some old sweets and with finding things that aren't where they're supposed to be.

Knackers and Clackers

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 11:54:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol sits up straight, Nick breaks into a run and they help with a spoiler and with molecules.

Sheep sharing

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 10:23:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol roots around in the bottom of the bag, Nick hears about the devil and they help with tipping and with a snoring husband.

BBQ Wars!

Fri, 18 Apr 2025 11:58:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol cancels a holiday, Nick searches for one he can't afford and they help with a nice smell and with a bad one.

Mickey Rourke has gone too far

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 18:33:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol unloads the dishwasher, Nick takes out the rubbish and they help with a potential serial killer and with what to get for the couple who have everything.

Talking sheep

Fri, 11 Apr 2025 10:49:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol tries to go somewhere, Nick thinks she'd be better where she is and they help with tormenting pets and assist a man who walks like John Wayne.

Air kisses

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 13:30:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol fights for the arm rest, Nick fights for the foot well and they help with a polo neck and an icontinent friend's best friend.

Fearlessly eating filth

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 12:49:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has advice for your immune system, Nick is not taking it and they help with a friend's partner and with a massive pylon.

Controversial roasties

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 13:33:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol contemplates the end of the internet, Nick recalls his least favourite teacher and they help with a parking problem and disagree about ketchup.

Grumpy and Frumpy

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 11:53:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol and Nick dissect a weird accent, help with a school prom problem and with a garden room

All shook up

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 13:32:00 +0100

In this episode,Carol has a seismic event, Nick has a near death experience and they help with a family argument and with a trip to Paris.

The idiots.

Fri, 21 Mar 2025 12:46:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol looks at the Side Bar of Shame, Nick looks for Carol on there with no luck and they help with a wedding dress and with some serious trouble.

Checkin' the settin's

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 11:18:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol says she is right about everything, Nick thinks she's wrong about that and they help with someone who is being ignored, with living healthily and with an invite list for a wedding.

Bad careers advice

Fri, 14 Mar 2025 12:50:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets square eyes, so does Nick and they help with an "avid" listener and with a wannabe artist.

Elephant trousers

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 11:23:00 +0100

This week, Carol finds some uncool clobber, Nick also disapproves and they help with artificial intelligence and with annoying tourists

A Second World Problem

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 13:03:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has just got off a flight, Nick welcomes her back and they help with not looking like a swot and with a WFH issue.

The Hot Box

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 12:42:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol doesn't care, Nick doesn't care that she doesn't care and they help with a family breakfast and with going to bed angry

The Festival of Sickness

Fri, 28 Feb 2025 13:36:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has a complaint, Nick is not very helpful and they help with "that woman again" and with someone's drawers.

Letting one go

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 13:04:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol behaves badly and gets called in to see the boss, Nick is outraged and they help with breakfast and with moving from Florida

Kicking the ice bucket

Fri, 21 Feb 2025 14:18:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol celebrates a birthday, Nick sings the song and they help with a lack of headphones and with parking a car.

Trick lips

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 11:59:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is angry at a cloud, Nick is mystified by it and they help with a holiday itinerary and with a centre parting.

Big mistake...huge

Fri, 14 Feb 2025 11:39:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick makes an error, Carol is not pleased and they help with a sniffy dog and with opening a bottle with one hand.

The Death Wish List

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 15:54:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets an offer she can refuse, Nick thinks she should take it and they help with a lemon tea and with what to do with your face.

Totally No Recall

Fri, 07 Feb 2025 13:19:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol enjoys a lounge, Nick is sat sitting at home and they help with a plug and with a fashion issue.

The cash cow

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 14:05:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol finds something she likes in pink, Nick has had one already and they help with something weird in the garden and with a tit.

Soup is very dangerous

Fri, 31 Jan 2025 13:13:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol stinks out the carriage, Nick gets his money back and the help with an apostrophe and how to open a wine bottle.

Lady wants a gun

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 13:09:00 +0100

Carol gazes at bins, Nick tries not to touch the kitchen and they help with sunsets and mix tapes.

Replaced by a button

Fri, 24 Jan 2025 12:00:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick is on his worst behaviour, Carol is too and they help with a tour schedule, a dodgy connection and they watch a triple feature.

Posting a nudie

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 11:26:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick gets caught at the checkout, Carol takes a snap and they help with demanding friends and with how to be a boyfriend.

Grim down south

Fri, 17 Jan 2025 11:44:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol embarks on a job, Nick advises against and they help with a crush and with a late boyfriend.

The wrong bag

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 12:01:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick has a new book out, Carol is thinking about writing one and they help with a postcode and sort out the "I or me" issue

The sex scene issue

Fri, 10 Jan 2025 11:32:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is turning Japanese, Nick does it American style and they help with the weekly shop and with improving a music collection.

The Special 300th Bumper Issue

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 13:32:00 +0100

We are 300! In this special episode Nick and Carol celebrate your milestones.

Ogling the fire people

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 13:46:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is fighting with her net, Nick is outraged at his rating and they help with a new job and a Christmas card issue.

The debilitating madness of procrastination

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 13:37:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is sad about donkeys, Nick spots a flying milk criminal and they help with a snack choice and with a drunk dad acting sober.

Alighting while merry

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 11:39:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol wants to have a competition, Nick feels like he wins straight away and they help with a grammar issue and assist with a letter.

Bezzies

Fri, 13 Dec 2024 12:23:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol goes woke, Nick shares too much and they help with buying presents and negotiating the buffet.

Celebrity Street

Mon, 09 Dec 2024 13:25:00 +0100

This week, Nick looks up Carol, Carol checks with the Mary and they help with house paint and fight with AI.

Act normal!

Fri, 06 Dec 2024 01:00:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick is having a technical issue, Carol is having a 'mare and they help with some Christmas lights and with a long commute.

A paralytic cooker

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 11:58:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick has a film crew in, Carol speaks French-ish and they help with selecting a death bat and with some trick glasses.

Pink jobs and blue jobs.

Fri, 29 Nov 2024 11:57:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets in some new wine, Nick has had enough cookies and they help with a wrong order at the Chinese takeaway and assist with being listened to.

The Nightmare Lounge

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 14:01:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick does a lot of singing, Carol wears a bin bag and they help with a negative Nancy and advise on how to spend a lot of money.

Cutting the fun in half

Fri, 22 Nov 2024 16:14:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol orders her in-flight meal, Nick thinks she'll stay hungry and they help writing a dissertation and with sorting out the sock drawer.

I can see you!

Sun, 17 Nov 2024 16:54:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol takes a nightmare trip, Nick is unprepared for what he can see and they help with breakfast and a loud pair of jeans.

A 4.5 Rupiah million bar bill.

Fri, 15 Nov 2024 12:36:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has thunder, lightening, very very frightening and they help with a cooker and a racist Nan.

In-flight starvation

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 13:06:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets short-changed, Nick is almost sympathetic, there's tales of paradise and they help with queuing and hair dye stains.

Hangin' on the telephone

Fri, 08 Nov 2024 12:14:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is waiting for a chat, Nick is disconnected and they help with table manners and with interrupting celebrities.

Quack, quack, oops.

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 14:07:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol makes makes a slip, Nick tries and fails to save her and they help with a classic TV series and a heavy-handed wife.

Husky Do

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 10:41:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick spots a Christmas tree and so does Carol and they help with the number zero and with where to sit on a dog sled.

"If I was a woman..."

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 14:58:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick keeps the cap attached, Carol doesn't and they help with a Drag Race fan and a very expensive dentist.

Little'un Large

Fri, 25 Oct 2024 13:25:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol goes undercover, Nick has a problem with a cloud and they help with boomeranging children and twisting pants.

Respect the dongle!

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 12:32:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol goes to pick something up, Nick wants to know what it is and they help with the menopause and with splitting logs

Venus is a hottie

Fri, 18 Oct 2024 10:46:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is late for an appointment, Nick has a new addiction and they help a grandad who doesn't like the name and a person who needs an aid.

The Detritus!

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 13:12:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has a delivery, Nick makes an horrific discovery and they help with a parent's annoying friend and with a couple who don't see eye-to-eye.

When to skip lunch

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 11:43:00 +0100

This week, Carol takes an opportunity when Nick can't hear her and they help with a language dilemma, a poster issue and with shedding pounds.

A job lot of clobber

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 11:55:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol steals some sachets, Nick has a morning revelation and they help with an idle relative and with what to do with a wedding dress.

Worryingly agreeable

Fri, 04 Oct 2024 12:33:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick and Carol help an Australian who is bored of Australia, assist with a wedding anniversary and with a first time buyer.

The Mad Axewoman of Hampstead

Mon, 30 Sep 2024 10:40:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol returns an odd item and they help with a pushy friend and mastering small talk.

The Celebrity Slaughtering Machine

Fri, 27 Sep 2024 10:09:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick and Carol help with a smelly vacuum cleaner and with what to see on a big trip.

Butty derangement syndrome

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 11:07:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol puts her blue jeans on, Nick wears a badge and they help with knotty bread issue.

Turning your pants inside out.

Fri, 20 Sep 2024 13:09:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick checks the electricity, Carol is late back from holiday and they help with the sheets.

The jeans fetish

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 11:44:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol attacks punks, Nick misses a superstar, they get some angry advice and help with a wierd job.

Staggering around the village

Fri, 13 Sep 2024 12:53:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick struggles with a new computer, Carol gets a comment from a local and they help with a restaurant dilemma and on how to cope with a big birthday.

Spicy, not smelly

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 13:48:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol spices up her nuts, Nick finishes his lunch and they help with describing yourself on dating websites

User error

Fri, 06 Sep 2024 12:27:00 +0100

This time, Carol finds she is not the account holder, Nick discovers he is not the administrator and they help with hiding valuables and ordering pizza.

Meeting Mr Blobby

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 12:53:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick is mad for it, Carol disapproves, they look into a bucket hat, help with a cat problem and advise on spam calls.

The Vestment Divesters.

Fri, 30 Aug 2024 11:44:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick suffers a carmageddon, Carol neglects hers, they come up with a money making scheme, help someone who's podcasts won't play and with remembering names.

Nick and Carol are murderers

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 10:20:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol play travel agents and they help review a TV show that neither of them have seen.

Gnaaaarrrrgh!

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 13:41:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has a problem with her box, Nick as an issue with some tools and they help a nurse who wants a particular day off and a lad who wants a sports car.

I was a teenage slut

Mon, 19 Aug 2024 08:57:00 +0100

This week, Carol checks for an infestation, Nick assists with the packing and they help a Taylor Swift sufferer and choose where a nomad should settle down.

Puppet Porn

Fri, 16 Aug 2024 12:03:00 +0100

This week, Carol fails to spot Tom Cruise, Nick objects to a turn of phrase and they hear about an embarrassing family incident they caused and help with some wind-chimes.

The Plastic Flower Person

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 10:45:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has a fruit problem, Nick tells her what do with them and they help with an accidental dinner invite and an offensive wedding list.

Knock, knock...

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 11:58:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick has the builders in, Carol complains about being balmy (not barmy) and they help with a family food dispute and an incident in a car park.

So Solid Who?

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 12:27:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets into a celebrity spat, Nick gets the belt and they deal with a sarcastic husband.

The Box and Bush

Fri, 02 Aug 2024 12:01:00 +0100

This week, Carol loses a loved thing, Nick kills an Acer and they help with a maintenance issue and with a rude sister-in-law.

The Blah Blah Lane

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 13:55:00 +0100

This week, Carol gets her feet out, Nick sends an emoji and they help with in-flight etiquette and with a tardy new friend

The chat line

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 12:34:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol organises her handbag, Nick chooses a password and they help with a shouty delivery man and with how to get in to a gym

The telepathetic episode

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 18:06:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol takes a peek inside, Nick visits a psychic and they help with a chatty neighbour.

Carol wins first prize

Fri, 19 Jul 2024 11:20:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol promises evidence of her misbehaviour, Nick calls in sick, they bid on some auction items and help someone who keeps winning things.

The ChatGPT query

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 14:38:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is on her worst behaviour and so is Nick and they help with surviving World War 3 and are quizzed by a computer chip.

The word is "taboo".

Fri, 12 Jul 2024 15:20:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol orders a picture of herself, |Nick looks forward to his present and they try to stay out of an unfaithful relationship and there's advice on what not to eat in the Arctic.

The Ruined 250th Episode

Mon, 08 Jul 2024 13:06:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol agrees with Nick, Nick can't believe it and they help with a jealous friend and with buying stuff for a new flat-share

This episode is OK!

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 10:00:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets bitten, Nick is revolting and they help with being added to a WhatsApp list and a father who needs a new car.

The Groovy Hip Swingers

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 12:41:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is offered a seat, Nick has an issue at the barbers and they help with a canvasser and what to do on holiday in the rain

What's Carol worth?

Fri, 28 Jun 2024 11:58:00 +0100

In this episode, there's some fake news about Carol and they help with an attraction at work and with what a 13 year old should be listening to.

Knobbling a judge

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 13:24:00 +0100

This week, Nick corrects a mistake, Carol gets her timing wrong and they help with a football non-fan and a couple who can't decide how to spend a windfall.

Somewhat tardy.

Fri, 21 Jun 2024 16:17:00 +0100

This week, Carol is cross but it's not Nick's fault, why would anyone think that? They help with shopping on a Bank Holiday and with a fantasy about a TV personality.

A nap between feet

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 13:33:00 +0100

This week, Carol is in the cellar, Nick contacts her husband and they help with moving house and taking a driving test.

Low IQ Pandas.

Fri, 14 Jun 2024 12:07:00 +0100

This week, Carol has an updating issue, Nick gets a compliment and they wonder at wildlife and give advice on throwing out old clothes.

Is my package in your box?

Mon, 10 Jun 2024 12:19:00 +0100

This week, Carol is desolated, Nick is wrapped in wool and they help a concerned flier and a disgusted dinner guest

Not sure about the frogs.

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 11:58:00 +0100

This week, Carol is at the end of her tether and it's not Nick's fault, mostly. They help with technology misbehaving and a height issue.

Who's Mike?

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 13:50:00 +0100

This week, Carol goes to a B&B, Nick goes to Glastonbury in his mind and they help to distinguish between a friend and an acquaintance.

Proper jobs

Fri, 31 May 2024 17:02:00 +0100

This week, Nick has a fantasy about a bodily function, carol is not impressed and they help a worker who has been called back to the office and with a rocky relationship.

Taking pictures of pants

Mon, 27 May 2024 14:51:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol paints her toes and Nick has an idea on how to speed that up, someone gets their snaps taken off Instagram and they help out with small talk at parties.

The one-footed pigeon

Fri, 24 May 2024 12:22:00 +0100

This time, Carol puts a member of the family in a bag, Nick looks at daytime television and they help with being outside and ordering a takeaway

Woozy inducing

Mon, 20 May 2024 10:08:00 +0100

This time, Carol gets giddy, they advise a mother whose children put her on speaker phone and help with an earworm.

Carol tolerates Nick's inadequacies

Fri, 17 May 2024 10:23:00 +0100

This time, there's hubble bubble toilet trouble, they help out with a house guest and Carol prepares for Armageddon.

Joanne's banned!

Mon, 13 May 2024 12:24:00 +0100

In this episode, there's a lot of Lidl action, Carol thinks about reading out loud, they help a foreigner with some English expressions and Nick is horrified to find he agrees with Carol.

Asking for directions

Fri, 10 May 2024 11:57:00 +0100

This time, Nick thinks about changing his tone, Carol picks a fight with van men and they get confused by Human Resources.

Everyone's a winner

Mon, 06 May 2024 15:28:00 +0100

This time, Carol has a theory about the Queen, while Nick does not and they help with negotiating a salary and with a couple thinking of taking the next step

Yes "it" is

Fri, 03 May 2024 10:28:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol is so furious her ears popped, Nick is just as understanding as usual and they help with an ABBA related injury.

The danger element

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 13:21:00 +0100

This time, Carol gets a bad Elvis, Nick bags a bargain, there's an incident in a yoga class and they help a builder with annoying clients

A pre-used lover

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 11:59:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol tries to try on some sunglasses, Nick storms away from a pub and they help a friendship with benefits and an issue with plane seats.

Huey who?

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 13:54:00 +0100

In this episode, there's a brief echo problem, after which Nick and Carol play "where are they now?" and wonder about the nostalgia of the future

Touching the thongs

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0100

In this episode Carol sings and Nick doesn't, they help out with a pastry dilemma and with a seating problem on trains.

Playing havoc with her 'do

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 13:51:00 +0100

In this episode, Nick hears of a clothing item with a special feature, Carol plans a trip, they advise on a car modification and help an ageing kitty.

The Rock 'n' Roll Wake

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 18:37:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol gets disciplinary, Nick receives some news and they help out with a licky dog and repackaging returns.

A Flobby Meal Deal

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 16:37:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol has a near death experience, Nick has an issue with his ringtone, they help a man with his award winning dentist and assist in choosing lunch

She's got the builders in.

Fri, 05 Apr 2024 14:31:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol are suffering some noise, they help out with a copy-cat, a girlfriend's difficult family and assist a lady who needs to sit down to take her earrings off.

A taptastrophic tilemageddon

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 11:28:00 +0100

This week, Carol reads an article about one of her marriages, Nick says 'no thanks' to a cookie and they help out with a problem in the bedroom

Rocking by the sea

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 12:54:00 +0100

This time, Nick and Carol help out on the promenade, advise on a computer issue and assist with hill etiquette.

Living on the edge

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 11:46:00 +0100

This time, Carol is having a run-in with the government, Nick has an issue with a bank, they help out with a neighbour's delivery and advise a gym-goer who fancies her trainer.

Big jobs

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 12:27:00 +0100

This time, a pervert stares at taps, Nick gets amused at the dentist, Carol measures herself against James Bond and they help a person who is hearing things.

A bloke walks in to a bar...

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 14:00:00 +0100

In this episode Carol gets some grief, Nick finds a problem with a supplement, they help a passenger on a train and assist with some picky technology.

Sprinkled with Tinker Bell dust.

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 12:07:00 +0100

In this episode, Carol goes to a fantasy land, Nick pretends to be doing something at work, there's a brief encounter in an airport and they help out with German food.

Noddy Holder's pool cleaner?

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 11:58:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol have a fashion fail, they help a man who can't stand work and assist with someone's teeth

A perfectly normal visitor

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 11:59:00 +0100

This time, Nick and Carol help someone who wants to get naked on TV, they share a money saving tip for a trip to Paris and assist with an unexpected guest.

Sticks with knobs on

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 13:44:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol watch farmers doing something unmentionable in fields, Carol comes under attack, Nick gets a weird order at the bar and they help a man whose wife won't go where he wants on holiday.

The one hit wonders

Fri, 01 Mar 2024 13:01:00 +0100

This week, Nick takes a peek at Carol's room, Carol swerves the make-up counter, they help out with too much packaging and try not to break anything

So much expertise!

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 13:29:00 +0100

This time, Nick and Carol compare hats, they help a compulsive worrier, hear about a nightmare and have an appointment with the drug doctor.

Hey sexy lady!

Fri, 23 Feb 2024 13:50:00 +0100

This week, Carol does/doesn't complain about the weather, Nick has a plan to get a free holiday, they get taught about hotel cleanliness and tackle ageism.

Problem...something...solution

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 13:26:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol talk about Steve Wright, they go shopping for c**p, express their love of butter and help out a man whose wife eats funny.

Carol McGiffin is hot!

Fri, 16 Feb 2024 13:49:00 +0100

This time, Carol throws some shade, Nick goes to the Olympics, they help out a person with bathroom noises and check how much footballers earn.

A real game of cat and mouse

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 15:43:00 +0100

This week, Carol gets a visit form the gendarmes, Nick gets confused by fruit, they help a man with is name and pick sides in a neighbours' dispute

Spanish ones are pants

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 12:39:00 +0100

This week, Nick weathers a storm, Carol has a beverage, they complain about their restaurant tables and decide to plump their pillows.

Blue sky thinking

Mon, 05 Feb 2024 13:26:00 +0100

This week, Nick makes the mistake of checking his bag, Carol flings things around willy-nilly, they help a man with his coat and run a few ideas up the flagpole

The most relaxing thing ever.

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 13:43:00 +0100

This week, Nick gets asked something in the street, Carol explains her feelings about the London mayor and farming, and they help out with the issue of marrying for money.

A bit of a lag

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 14:14:00 +0100

This episode features a built-in delay, Nick collars a billionaire, Carol goes all "Judith Chalmers", Nick finds out a famous person bought his flat and they help a man with a hat.

A newfangled episode

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 11:16:00 +0100

In this episode, Carole drops an E, Nick takes a trip up a canal without a gondola, they help a person with their name and give good telly advice.

Problems with stools

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 14:37:00 +0100

This week, Carol refuses to do the ironing, Nick picks on Easter, they help out a man who does everything and one that wants to leave the country.

No great shakes

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 12:20:00 +0100

This week, Carol refuses to cooperate with the police, Nick tries bathroom basketball and they help out a chap who claims he isn't normal

Fascinating extractions

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 15:12:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol look into the future, Carol has an energy failure, Nick takes a selfie, they peer at Brad Pitt's face and fight about Alastair Campbell.

Oi! What's your problem?

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 11:28:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol connect a gas cannister, get confused in a trade shop, go on the attack and take a look at Ed Sheeran.

We're Back!

Mon, 08 Jan 2024 15:08:00 +0100

This week, in part one of our new twice weekly podcast, Nick and Carol have a fight with the technology, they help with the dishes, pick a plumber and try to stop swearing.

The delivery man always rings twice

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 18:02:00 +0100

This week, Carol buys some shoes, Nick defends his furniture, they avoid the Ikea trek, help out with a charity outrage and assist with the oven.

A bit woozy

Mon, 11 Dec 2023 14:42:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol pour their drinks down the loo, have weird dreams, clean the carpets, get scared by Chat GPT and take care of the pets.

Carol takes a trip

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 14:35:00 +0100

This week, Carol has some money saving advice, Nick tries to un-hunch his shoulders, they help out with the Tooth Fairy, plan the buffet strategy and assist with the Christmas cards.

She's got things on the go

Mon, 27 Nov 2023 14:08:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get measured, Carol fails at packing, Nick finds he can't afford to look like a tramp, they help with a dissatisfied wife and untangle a political slogan

A stickler for the rules

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 15:31:00 +0100

This week, Nick re-writes the rules, Carol passes on the cakes and they help with an interrupting husband, curious relatives abroad and wonder where Hammersmith went.

The eight foot fake

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 15:09:00 +0100

This week, Carol goes full elf, Nick goes full fake, they help out with a couple's arguing, deal with a mansplainer and figure out why we worship actors.

The Dump Button

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 14:07:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol are considerate neighbours, help out with boastful vegans and give listeners some homework

The Fat Day

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 15:58:00 +0100

This week, Nick fails to get connected, Carol can't help herself, they assist with the football commentary, get to grips with a moustache and a long distance love affair.

Doughnuts, crisps and lard

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 14:54:00 +0100

This week, Carol gets a trim in the kitchen, Nick picks a fight with three billionaires, they help with a snorer, assist in a battle with artificial intelligence and pay with change.

KFC or Wimpy, Ibiza or Benidorm?

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 17:55:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol are over at Becks' place, they have breakfast out and help with a cat, a bat and some awful grandchildren.

Coming round

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 12:18:00 +0100

This week, Carol sets her alarm, Nick takes advantage of a window of opportunity, they are both brave little soldiers when visiting the dentist, they go wilding and get attached to the people on the telly.

Face ache

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 15:28:00 +0100

This week, Carol complains a lot, Nick leaves the hotel shampoo, they help out with a water problem, peer at bugs and wonder at scaffolding.

I'm doing the effin' podcast!

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 19:54:00 +0100

This week, Carol gets bothered by her husband, Nick refuses to rate the service, they help a woman who's husband is turning into his dad, there's trouble with a builder and they strike a destination off their holiday list.

Inequality Street

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 15:57:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol try not to get any water on them, get bored with other people's grand-kids, Carol takes up an instrument and Nick rumbles a dog's game

Five courses of pasta

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 13:36:00 +0100

This week, Carol ponders doing something frightening on TV, Nick orders from the 1970s menu, they avoid a shower of spittle and splash the cash.

Umming and ahing

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 11:19:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol try shaking hands, Carol cooks up a storm, Nick has it out with a gym goer and they help put things back together

Repelling the tourists in Brighton

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 13:28:00 +0100

This week Nick crosses the border into a militarised seaside resort, Carol thinks of selling pictures of her feet and there's a problem thats quite hairy.

Overdosing on orange.

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 15:21:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help to make the bed, Carol goes all 1970's, Nick cracks a Russian code and they try to remember that funny bloke from the thing.

Drugs in chips

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 15:51:00 +0100

This week, Carol washes her trainers, Nick talks about tails, they fix Netflix and have a bash at cheering someone up.

The Leaf of Death

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 14:53:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol follow the weather, avoid bears, help a holidaymaker and check their blood pressure.

A bit of a domestic

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 14:32:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol are on their worst behaviour, try on Napoleon's hat for size, help out on a roundabout and check in as a singleton

The Bouncing Boobies

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 17:30:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol have a heated debate, Carol tries to call the government, Nick sees an incident with a dog and there's a huge pair of lips.

Literally, OMG, do you actually know what I mean?

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 16:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get a pest drunk, Carol gets an offer she can't accept, Nick gets a grammar lesson and they argue about lunch.

The apology issue

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 15:16:00 +0100

This week, Carol shows a part of herself on television, Nick takes action against the sun and they help out with puppy love, air conditioning and invent a new contest.

Mellow yellow

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 15:05:00 +0100

This week, the class system question is solved, Carol gets attacked mid-podcast, Nick feels like an idiot and there's a problem in the loo.

Mooses in the hooses.

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 14:53:00 +0100

This week, in a festival of assistance, Nick and Carol weigh in at the airport, fail a job interview, Carol threatens her husband and Nick fails to get served at the bar.

The Class Issue

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 14:16:00 +0100

This week, Nick sees a shag in Brighton, Carol goes over the Shard, they argue about class, coffee, sandwiches, salads and maths but agree on queuing and browning.

Carol bites her lip

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 13:54:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol want to know if you're OK, Carol has a mouth related accident and Nick picks a fight with the Hells Angels.

Not in MY loo!

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 15:20:00 +0100

This week, Carol forgets where she's just been, Nick gets assaulted with a cassette, they help someone with a boring stalker and have a great idea about clubbing.

Wotzizname?

Tue, 30 May 2023 10:42:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol give some sensible Scilly advice, forget who just died and assist with an incontinent dog.

Elton John's wardrobe

Mon, 22 May 2023 15:40:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol talk telly, Nick looks up a hotel he can't afford and tries clothes that don't suit him, Carol goes to butler school and fails to pull off a snakeskin jacket and they take a shower, but not together.

A Horrible Hellhole

Mon, 15 May 2023 10:53:00 +0100

This week, Carol gets abuse and goes viral, Nick turns off daytime TV, Carol refuses to go to somewhere awful, they help a man with a dog bed and rate a classic rock song.

Fun with sausages

Mon, 08 May 2023 14:34:00 +0100

This week, Carol makes an error, Nick is remarkably understanding, they get lost in a car park and talk to a robot.

My wood is no-one's business

Mon, 01 May 2023 15:28:00 +0100

This week, Carol has a rendezvous, Nick dreams of pudding, Carol gets a winkle and they talk Oxford Street, David Bowie and having a clear-out.

Language Alert!

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 15:15:00 +0100

In this ruder than usual episode, Nick is put on hold, Carol picks a fight with Robocop, they help a man with his emails and they both fail to evolve.

Getting away with a wig

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 14:43:00 +0100

This week, Carol claims to have powers, Nick begs to differ, they peer at the King, order a really small coffee and try to park

Worst. Bond. Ever.

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 18:36:00 +0100

This week Nick has a code id his doze and Carol is just as sympathetic as you would expect. They talk super-spies, ask for a receipt and help someone to be less nice.

How big is Brad Pitt?

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 14:50:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get ready to go out, point at good looking people, help a man who hired a moron, keep track of the kids and measure Brad Pitt.

Just one squirt

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 14:00:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help out a bored teen, try to get a mouse out of the house, eat banas and shrimp and have a fire emergency.

Carry On Killing

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 15:29:00 +0100

This week, Nick is slightly hung-over, Carol is in no mood for nonsense, they dress in gym clothes and talk sausages and ping food.

Dionne Warwick was my dinner date

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 15:01:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol search for perfection, Carol gets a quick medical, Nick gets up for a full English, they compare dinner dates and find a terrific/terrible way to start the day

Getting flushed.

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 14:43:00 +0100

This week, Nick gets followed by Google, Carol has an issue with her face, they help out at the hairdressers and give excellent advice for the loo.

It was the chair!

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 14:37:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol accidentally ignore a question about the Magic Roundabout, Nick goes in search of a pastry, Carol takes a selfie in the loo,and Chat GPT has them both bang to rights.

Minding our P's and Q's

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 15:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol have to be on their best behaviour, they try to sing in an English accent, peer at the kids' hairstyles and try to open a bottle of shampoo.

What's the recipe today Carol?

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 15:34:00 +0100

This week, Carol puts on her pinny, Nick takes charge of the toothbrush and everyone forgets everyone's names.

A science experiment

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 15:34:00 +0100

This week, Carol finds out what not to order at the bar, Nick gets something exciting in the post and we conduct an experiment with sound.

It's a bar-tastrophe!

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 17:01:00 +0100

This week, Carol gets her kit off, Nick has a special delivery, they go moron spotting and look up something they shouldn't in the dictionary.

Things that go pffft in the night

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 14:31:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol smell nice, get bored in Belgium, check their credit card statements, order something in French and clean the house.

Talking rubbish

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 15:44:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol compare their waste, help a vegan, do a runner and plan a stress-free year.

Carol does Southampton

Mon, 09 Jan 2023 15:26:00 +0100

This week, Carol recounts her triumphant quiz show appearance, Nick has a problem with his new air fryer, a lady in France has an issue with garlic bread, there's snoring neighbours and how not to kill your houseplants.

The Big Christmas Special

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 15:41:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol pack the podcast full of festive assistance. There's family squabbles sorted, the decorations untangled, the dinner fixed and presents chosen. Plus, Carol has a confession!

A series of holiday nightmares

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 15:06:00 +0100

This week, Carol goes on a sunny holiday with disastrous results, Nick sits at home freezing his bottom off, they root around some department stores and give good advice on where to live.

The eating issue

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 14:59:00 +0100

This week: Carol preps for a flight, Nick spots a nappy in Blackpool, they earwig someone's call on a train and spot a hair issue at the World Cup.

Who dealt it?

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 14:36:00 +0100

It's a whodunnit this week and Nick and Carol try to get to the bottom of it, they also tackle a pizza, get a piercing and share some gum.

Let's get ready to rumble.

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 15:37:00 +0100

This week, Carol has a compliant, Nick gets festive early, they help a disappearing woman and sort out a lists addict.

What's going on?

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 14:35:00 +0100

This week, Carol goes to Lapland, Nick is hot in bed, there's advice on rating your old employer and what not to eat on a plane.

The problem with problems

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 14:53:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol abuse an electric toothbrush, cross a river the expensive way, iron the sheets and are amazed at the genius of trees

The Good News Week

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 14:11:00 +0100

This week, Carol loses her iPad, Nick breaks into a run, they smell the roses and refuse the sex chocolates.

Carol gets a boost.

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 13:37:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol dial 999, tell the neighbours to keep it down, peer at swans and make a scene in WH Smiths.

A Woman on the Edge

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 12:46:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol order breakfast, give an IT man a one star review, fail to make friends at work, think about joining a commune and choose between their bottom and their face.

The Boinking Gnomes

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 13:33:00 +0100

In this week's globe-trotting issue, we take a trip round Carol's French garden, Nick gets disappointed in a bakery in Soho, there's a family problem about a trip to New York, an issue with a neighbour in Lanzarote and advice on how to avoid Piers Morgan on holiday.

The delivery man buzzes twice

Tue, 04 Oct 2022 08:47:00 +0100

This week, Carol has a fight with a washing machine, Nick gets picked up in Los Angeles, there's an issue with a bad boss and an incident with a reclining seat

A problem with cheese

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 13:47:00 +0100

This week, Carol is a pain in the neck, Nick imagines people naked, there's some unpleasantness on a Zoom meeting and they get the feeling they're being watched.

A Thai massage and a bag of chips.

Tue, 20 Sep 2022 14:19:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol talk about competitive emoting, Carol loses her numbers, there's an encounter with Taylor Swift and something unpleasant about wind.

Pill packet rage

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 14:24:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help out on Southend Pier, have an issue with drugs, find problems filling up and watch a festival of cheating.

The bums episode

Mon, 05 Sep 2022 19:46:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get to the bottom of it, Nick has an incident on a boat, Carol appears on the news, they identify a problem with sports fans and launch an attack on estate agents.

Carol does the dance

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 13:43:00 +0100

This week, Nick is in a rush, Carol gets on stage, they cling to old friends, navigate a roundabout and almost make a pizza.

The flashing gnome

Mon, 22 Aug 2022 14:28:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol pick a fight with computers, Carol shares too much about her decor, there's a unique way of eating Jaffa Cakes, Nick still hasn't had his dinner, there's a problem with Kent and panic on a plane

The Lost Tape

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 14:06:00 +0100

This week's is the one that should have gone out last week, that we thought had been lost but was found thanks to the nice people at Zencastr. Carol gets in a fight with a washing machine, Nick amuses two nuns and there's pudding.

The rise of the chipmunk

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 10:14:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol go star spotting, listen to a hospital machine rocking out and hear of some unpleasantness at a tourist attraction

Never next to a pool

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 17:24:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol actually give some pretty good advice about renting or buying a place to live, Nick goes on a controversial night out and Carol recovers from a bender.

Bopping in the shop

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 12:56:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get up on the good foot, Carol promises not to behead her waiter, Nick decides where not to go on holiday and they help out with rude people.

Rethinking dogs

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 15:57:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol hitch a lift, Carol gets her fur rubbed the wrong way and Nick admires vandalism.

Carol’s got a code id her dose

Mon, 04 Jul 2022 13:03:00 +0100

This week, Nick gets a drink in prison, Carol makes a stink and they compare plastic surgery and star signs.

Nick and Carol do art

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 12:40:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol take in the view, Carol makes a legally enforceable promise, they help with the ringing in your ears and avoid watching snuff videos.

The Restaurant Incident

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 13:39:00 +0100

This week, Nick gets crowded, Carol has a long lunch, they both give surprisingly good holiday advice and suggest where not to stick a camera.

Fun with candles

Mon, 13 Jun 2022 13:22:00 +0100

This week, Carol makes a smell, Nick tries the juice of the jungle, they help someone who doesn’t know whether to speed up or slow down and have an incident with the law.

Warning lights flashing

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 13:54:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol fix a car, sympathise with Wills, hear noises in their heads and figure out why we are here.

Talkin’ proper

Mon, 30 May 2022 12:57:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol help with diction, assist with a broken mirror, decide on a big move and find some lost sunglasses.

A holiday expert speaks

Mon, 23 May 2022 13:26:00 +0100

This week, Nick goes on about his holiday, Carol gets bitten by a thing and there’s excellent advice on getting away from it all.

The Breast Stroke Issue

Mon, 16 May 2022 10:41:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get their certificates, help out a student with his Latin and give great advice on attending an awards ceremony.

Birds, cats and rats

Mon, 09 May 2022 11:18:00 +0100

This week, Carol tries to please her fans, Nick gets patted on the head, there’s problems with birds, cats and rats, they have too much choice and go searching for trees and rhinos but not in the same place.

Blowing in the wind

Tue, 03 May 2022 10:36:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol explain when it is acceptable to have a small personal accident in front of your partner, Carol gets stuck in a festival, Nick tries to stop electricity leaking out and they both help with an eating problem.

Artificial unintelligence

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 09:58:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol decide whether not play tennis or golf, Carol gets assaulted at the airport, Nick sleeps in late and they both get some paella in.

That’s a fat cat!

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 12:46:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol order a low alcoholic beverage, help and insomniac, peer at a dripping tap and have trouble on a train.

Peanuts stuck in your teeth

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 12:39:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol help out with a dental problem, wonder whether to risk a holiday and Carol fails to hit an important button.

Rocking, not rolling

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 11:48:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol share a lack of love for Shakespeare, construct a forbidden playlist and help out on the school run

Eating dirt does you good

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 10:09:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol watch something stupid, there’s advice about chewing gum and keeping your hands smooth and Carol’s hubby gets an indecent proposal.

Shooting potatoes

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 05:28:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help with other people’s dogs, get pedantic about grammar and make a racket walking down the street.

Snogging in the coal shed

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 03:33:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help a Nigel, Nick finds it hard to remember anything, Carol shares too much and they learn when you can’t have any pudding.

Chucked out of parliament.

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 01:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help a dissatisfied radio listener, battle a big fly, accept cookies and go (separately) to have a drink in the Houses of Parliament. Guess which one got thrown out?

Don’t swallow that gum!

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 02:14:00 +0100

This week, Nick ad Carol protest that they ain’t done nuffink, Carol buys something huge by mistake, Nick admires the view from the edge and they both overdose on cookies.

Fun with dairy!

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 01:05:00 +0100

This week, Carol is back from her holidays, Nick gets an offer he might refuse, they help find a person’s mojo and there’s party fun with the contents of the fridge.

The problem with babies

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 01:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get updated, Carol defends her wardrobe, Nick is attacked while driving and they have excellent advice for friends of new mothers.

The least helpful episode of all

Mon, 07 Feb 2022 08:03:00 +0100

This week, Carol paints her nails, Nick drives round Croydon and they compare there’s a guessing game about holidays.

You saw a mouse? Where?

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 01:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help someone who takes their life in their hands driving through Croydon, deal with rodent issue, remember the last time they cried and upset a Garry.

A tip: Don’t tip twice!

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 01:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help a person with a LOT of problems, get shown to a bad restaurant table, discuss forcing people to watch Carol on the telly and Nick makes a mistake in a cab.

The 100th Episode!

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 01:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol go shopping, help an unread writer, discover something weird about Nick and about Carol’s pen pal. Plus, their favourite clips from the past 100 episodes, including the all-time most requested moment.

A bit too much happiness

Mon, 10 Jan 2022 01:05:00 +0100

On the 99th episode, Nick and Carol make someone laugh at a vaccinator, help a worker whose colleagues are too cheery and another whose flatmates are too messy and Carol recalls what happened in a previous life.

The Proper Stopper

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 01:05:00 +0100

In this week's Christmas special Nick and Carol are full of festive spirit and help a LOT of people. No, really.

Doing stupid things

Sun, 12 Dec 2021 21:52:00 +0100

This week, Nick remembers not to turn left and Carol goes under the influence, they help with a mother's texting, hiding the presents and chopping down trees.

The latest f*****g episode.

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 01:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol go to the doctors, bleep out the rude bits, suck water out of the air, advise an old thrill seeker, choose a table in a restaurant they can't have and tell someone how to avoid a friend's boring husband.

Don't tell your boss!

Sun, 28 Nov 2021 22:41:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol think you should keep some things to yourself, decide not to go to the theatre, plan an escape from jail and Nick gets cold while Carol gets sexy.

50 years too late

Mon, 22 Nov 2021 06:38:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help someone who needs a time machine, over-share, crash into things, spot a James Bond lookalike, try not to pick fights with airline stewards and spot some mimers.

Drifting

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 05:57:00 +0100

This week: Carol overindulges, Nick gets done for going backwards, they take a trip round a festive tat sale, help someone addicted to calling the radio and give bad career advice to a lawyer.

The Land of the Frozen Poop

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 01:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol send their pizzas back, help with some winter blues, get asked to go on Strictly Come Dancing, find the best place for your toothbrush, and pick the safest place on a sled.

Don't eat that bun!

Mon, 01 Nov 2021 06:35:00 +0100

This week, a dive into Carol's CD collection, getting the other half to rake the leaves, being weird while shopping, paying a ransom for your doodle and something awful in a burger joint.

Snogging the boss

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 08:11:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol talk about being inappropriate with the management, getting wound up, Punch and Judy shows, old James Bond films, insulting your wife and being serious

An offer you shouldn't accept

Sun, 17 Oct 2021 22:01:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol accept rides from strangers, help someone say "missing you", appear to be married and have fun at the dentists.

Telling your boss what you think

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 08:36:00 +0100

nick and Carol are back and just as helpful as they ever were. This week, getting off Fortnite, boozy lunches, telling your boss what you shouldn't and being slowed down.

The unreleased practice session

Sun, 03 Oct 2021 23:49:00 +0100

This week there is no new episode, instead this is the tape from June 2019 of the first time we got together after decades apart to try out what became the podcast you know.

Not ordinary, extra-ordinary

Sun, 26 Sep 2021 21:25:00 +0100

Nick and Carol attack the breakfast buffet, pack for Belfast and sound drunk but it's not their fault.

A bad influence

Sun, 19 Sep 2021 21:53:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol affect someone's behaviour, help with a toilet issue, knit their own blanket and discover the new Victor Meldrew.

Nick and Carol for dinner

Sun, 12 Sep 2021 21:56:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol get invited to dinner but no food for them, worrying news about Thailand, the pregnancy minefield and being intolerant of intolerance.

The Nickers Issue

Mon, 06 Sep 2021 05:24:00 +0100

This week, Carol is getting ready for her tour but has forgotten something important, Robert Redford tells a joke, there's tips on buying a house and Bryan Ferry touches someone's knee.

The Kiss of Death

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 05:53:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol are a danger to celebrities, discuss not doing dogs and how to be more rock'n'roll playing the piano

Nick's Birthday Special

Mon, 23 Aug 2021 02:50:00 +0100

This week, what ghosts wear, the boredom of being a barrister, blaming your parents, having an accident and Carol's late for lunch.

Can you hear me? A History with Nick and Carol.

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 06:57:00 +0100

In this bumper summer edition, Nick and Carol talk drinking on a plane, falling asleep with a stranger, ghosts, fizzy pop, getting your bus pass and the Rolling Stones.

Lying about your age

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 09:39:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol give advice on telling the truth on dating sites, cutting your sandwich in half, selecting a password and arguing with friends.

So, it is what it is.

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 02:35:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol get uptight about language, help a man with a dentist habit, attack a spaceman and forget everyone's name.

The things you can find in a library!

Mon, 26 Jul 2021 03:19:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol's hair goes flat, they root about in the picture box, contemplate a breakfast sausage, refuse flip-flops and Carol gets discovered in the last place you'd look.

Chucking bottles with Sophia Loren

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 03:31:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol jump into a hot tub, hob nob with a major film star and buy a yogurt.

Back to front

Mon, 12 Jul 2021 02:44:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol drive on the wrong side of the road, can't start laughing or stop laughing and take the end and stick it at the front.

Rooting through the bins

Sun, 04 Jul 2021 23:44:00 +0100

This week, Carol is back in France and still complaining, we tackle Sunday builders, fail to water the plants, sing along to the kettle, are forced to accept party invitations and go bowling.

The Whacky Waving Inflatable Tube

Mon, 28 Jun 2021 23:41:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol skip sports, get stared at by a baby, spot a Boris Johnson look-a-like and don't like likes.

Picking the wrong queue at the supermarket

Sun, 20 Jun 2021 23:08:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol endure multiple shop nightmares, get a little something in the post and take a lesson in pronunciation.

Unwrinkling your pants

Mon, 14 Jun 2021 11:25:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol iron their smalls, exercise under the desk and try to get the world's most annoying song out of their heads.

Walking naked through a restaurant.

Sun, 06 Jun 2021 22:58:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol suffer a wardrobe malfunction (actually, just Carol), an anonymous helper steps into the light, they help a wallflower mingle, are placed on hold a lot and take on an airline executive.

A tattoo of what on your where?

Mon, 31 May 2021 00:15:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get floored by perhaps the best email yet, drop their biscuit in their tea and swear A LOT.

Pudding for breakfast

Mon, 24 May 2021 11:22:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get their eyes fixed, forget where they put their keys, find the booze shelf bare and go on a sausage hunt.

Where's Cher?

Mon, 17 May 2021 23:09:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol turn their phones very off, talk cruising, almost hang out with Beckham and Clooney and have a mild disagreement about...everything.

Sailing close to the wind

Mon, 10 May 2021 01:05:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol finally unravel The Great Red Ball Mystery from last week, find an unflattering thing to say about new cars, try to remember what normal looks like and go in search of their mojos.

The Great Red Ball Mystery

Mon, 03 May 2021 09:21:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol fix Saturday Night TV, select some casual wear from the Grattan Catalogue and investigate the hidden device that you didn't know you had.

Didn't we do well?

Mon, 26 Apr 2021 11:31:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol congratulate us all for being good little conservers, Carol refuses to take a call, Nick gets drowned in paper, they eat in the bath and attacked by a Pole.

Bond...Mr and Mrs James Bond

Sun, 18 Apr 2021 23:54:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get cosy with a super-spy, spot a listening device in their homes, plan to avoid a pub garden and get bored of their friends.

What species is that?

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 12:03:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get light headed, groan a lot, swerve Zoom and help a man who doesn't know what his problem is.

How this all started

Tue, 06 Apr 2021 02:05:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol remember how they met, forget what it is like to see street life and experience a Japanese toilet.

Nick's never gonna give you up!

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 02:34:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help a kid with his homework, spend too long in the bath, fight with the census and enjoy lock-in a little too much.

Carol hums!

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 00:53:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help with expressing sighs of contentment, playing spot the witch, try edible maggots and definitely don't repeat themselves.

My brain's all shook up.

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 02:27:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol go rollercoasting, catch cows, fight with a kettle and ask the internet for free money.

Welcome to the future!

Mon, 08 Mar 2021 14:07:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol have helpful advice on finding out passwords with an axe and a power tool, marvel at the date and find out how to get maximum value for money from your taxes.

Learning to love again

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 12:53:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol bring people together but also pull people apart, find something to do under lockdown and help bring a little grumpiness into the world.

Someone famous is following me

Mon, 22 Feb 2021 13:59:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol forget what they are supposed to be doing and fail at their jobs, try on some very old clothes, look themselves up on the internet and there's swearing in a Scottish accent.

Slip sliding away

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 04:06:00 +0100

This week, Nick gets stuck on the ice, Carol finds out where she works, why the TV news always sends weather reporters outside in storms and who is worth nine million dollars?

Filthy habits

Mon, 08 Feb 2021 05:11:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol clear some cupboard space, practice good dental hygiene, tackle armed police and do mental arithmetic

Nick and Carol do electrical engineering

Wed, 03 Feb 2021 10:54:00 +0100

This week, Nick & Carol get schooled on science, give weight loss advice, peek behind the scenes of a huge TV and groom a pooch

Excellent names for a rock band.

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 08:31:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol come up with some names for a rock'n'roller, fail to tip the removal men and leave the dishes in the sink.

How to be not funny

Mon, 18 Jan 2021 01:54:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol wonder how the world would ever get on without us humans, advise someone who tries too hard to please and say something insensitive (no surprise there).

The word is: "ritual"

Mon, 11 Jan 2021 12:41:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol swap recurring dreams, help out a chap whose friend has the hump with him and then compare seats.

A Christmas Carol and Nick

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 07:00:00 +0100

In this extra long festive edition, Nick and Carol talk baubles, help a man who sees his girlfriend as a fish and stop two brothers fighting in the back seat. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Getting your tubes cleaned

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 15:17:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol have their homework marked and are told they must do better, find out what goes on in Norfolk and have a major dispute about what to do with jam. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Too much googling

Tue, 08 Dec 2020 13:30:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol join the Flying Squad, send a message on a machine from another age, talk Saturday Night TV and help a desperate man in a pub. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

The all singing episode

Mon, 30 Nov 2020 14:00:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol suffer through a blast from the past, help people that don't really need helping and go riding in their cars. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Breakfast in a tin

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 12:00:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol start the day the old fashioned way, discuss the desperation of Britain's most famous couple, get a thumbs up from outside their target demographic and get buried in stuff. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Where to find love up a country lane

Mon, 16 Nov 2020 12:30:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol actually do help someone who has a problem with his car being unattractive to the opposite sex, Carol has technical issues, Nick gets spam, and we learn how to avoid getting your hand chopped off. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Winning the National Lottery!

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 14:37:00 +0100

This week, someone's numbers come up, a chocoholic needs a fridge door lock and drinking rocket fuel. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

The sizzling sex episode

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 15:45:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol are at the end of their tethers, Carol picks a peck of peppercorns, Nick has a fight with a leaf blower and they both end up s**t creek. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Caught short with nowhere to go

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 15:00:00 +0100

This week, Nick throws a fit in Greenwich, Carol defends herself against criminal charges and they both pick a fight with estate agents. Also, some people's problems are (sort of) solved (a bit). Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Neighbours that go bump in the night

Mon, 19 Oct 2020 14:30:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol tell those next door to keep it down a bit, try to prevent a domestic incident and don't give up anything for Stoptober. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Carol does her nut

Mon, 12 Oct 2020 14:30:00 +0100

This week, Nick fails to help Carol with a travel issue, Carol goes into plumbing, they both hunt for Nick on the internet and choose the best place to see the world explode. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Carol gets corrected

Mon, 05 Oct 2020 12:45:00 +0100

This week, Nick is asked a fundamental question, Carol receives WAY too much information about airports and they tackle the booze cupboard. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Is everybody happy?

Wed, 30 Sep 2020 15:00:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol have a refreshing cigarette break in the surf, help the world with philanthropy and end up back in the toilet again. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Sausages and dingleberries

Mon, 21 Sep 2020 13:30:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol agree on a couple of safe words, help a man in a boring occupation become a superhero, finish doing thedishes and answer the biggest question of all time. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Saved by the banana

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 11:30:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol go caravaning on water, help a man in Barnsley who has a problem with China and deal with a pain in the neck. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Over or under?

Mon, 07 Sep 2020 11:15:00 +0100

This week, Nick and carol are stuck in the toilet being the paper police, Carol goes cruelty-free and they are asked the most profound question of this or any other time. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Caravanning with Mother

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 10:00:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol try to help a person that won't say what the problem is, they get locked out but it wasn't their fault and its off to the caravan and mother's coming too, whether you like it or not. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Gone fishing

Mon, 24 Aug 2020 14:15:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol bait their hooks, Carol catches a goose and Nick ends up in hospital, there's a dash to the airport and there's a little light trolling. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Toilet roll origami

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 09:40:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol inspect a bathroom, say where they thought they'd be in the future when they were younger and less beautiful and they attack selective hearing. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Everyone annoys me!

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 09:30:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol help someone who is irritated by absolutely everyone after being locked in for so long, tackle the tricky love life of the new normal and make a plan for the rest of your life. They really do help this week! Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Throwing your pint in someone's face

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 14:50:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get an uncontrollable urge, recieve some whining at about Millenials and Carol finds she has a doppelganger, someone exactly like her aaprt from one important thing. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

The fresh air between my sheets

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 12:30:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol refuse to work harder, dance like no-one's watching, pop into a pub and find a use for the cardboard tube in a toilet roll. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

One word: MASSIVE!

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 12:30:00 +0100

This week, after a peek behind the scenes, Nick is subject to a personal attack and Carol answers a woman complainin' about dropped g's, while droppin' her g's and they both finally agree on something! Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Are you after some business?

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 16:35:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol get an indecent proposal, suffer the heat in Hong Kong, plan a surprise birthday party and help out a Hi-Fi hoarder. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Shut that drawer!

Mon, 06 Jul 2020 15:02:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol come to the assistance of a person who knows a Carole with an "e", that is not as funny as our Carol without an "e", they smooth over a relationship going sour because one person will not close the drawers after him and help out with an arrogant cat. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Letting out gas on a plane

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 10:45:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol help a man who has got too used to his lockdown life, fail to assist a person with a neighbour problem by going on about the effects of champagne on planes and wonder why evolution hasn't kept up with the human race. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

To shave or not to shave

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 11:15:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help a man who thinks his girlfriend has an underarm landscaping problem, we attack backpack wearers on trains, advise on smoking cigars and try to help a person who doesn't need our help. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Keeping tabs on your stuff

Tue, 16 Jun 2020 08:50:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol try finding out which accent is funniest without offending anyone, help someone whose partner keeps moving things around and are foxed by a question from a 12 year old. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

The perfect excuse

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 10:15:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol shout down from upstairs, drive a forklift over men in black hard hats and tackle boring parents. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

We can see up your nose!

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 14:30:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help a person who is having their peace disturbed by a Wendy House, ponder about whether bad people know they are bad and the big thing that Zoom users don't think about. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Spelling "HELP" with Alphabetti Spaghetti

Mon, 25 May 2020 11:30:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol assist a person who wants to be a good neighbor, disagree about food in interesting shapes and aid a man who wants to choose between his wife and his video games. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Who to leave your cow with

Tue, 19 May 2020 09:30:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol tackle music blasting through open windows, where not to travel to and which accents are the most trustworthy. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Donald Duck's got no pants on

Mon, 11 May 2020 13:30:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol help a man who has moron problems, there's naked cartoon characters and how to stop your nails growing. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Millions of screaming kids

Mon, 04 May 2020 10:20:00 +0100

Nick and Carol "help" a person with boundary issues, discuss experts and assist a desperate man with chat-up lines. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Winging it

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 04:00:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol assist a woman with a bingo problem, we investigate suing a whole country and help out with a wierdo-magnet. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

A cat leaves a present for a dog

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 14:30:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol help out with a Death Metal problem, assist a person with a very short issue and Carol is accused of historical abuse (!) Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Guess who else is coming to dinner

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 15:30:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol go into the bathroom together, experience an unexpected guest or two and take their feet off the seats. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

A little too much adorableness

Tue, 24 Mar 2020 10:00:00 +0100

This week Nick and Carol look into a puppy's eyes, there's some finger-wagging and some high anxiety. To be helped, send your problems to nickandcarol@global.com. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

What are we allowed to say these days?

Tue, 17 Mar 2020 11:10:00 +0100

This week, Nick and Carol help someone with a coffee problem, there's a mystifying email about gardens and lemons, and a Generation Z'er complains. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

The worst dog's name ever

Tue, 10 Mar 2020 15:00:00 +0100

The worst dog's name ever... Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

I've had millions of jobs and I've mentally been to Australia

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 04:00:00 +0100

How do you make new friends? How much control do you have on an aeroplane? Do you like noise-cancelling headphones? Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Cats have brains and I'm never going on a cruise

Mon, 02 Mar 2020 04:00:00 +0100

Do we need the Royal family? Is £83 million too much? Should cannabis be illegal? Do you like Jane McDonald Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

I never tell the truth and superfood is garbage

Mon, 24 Feb 2020 04:00:00 +0100

How many cows do we need? Did Shakespeare write his plays? Will the human race die out? Why is theatre so fake? Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

I don't want to work in an office and Tom Cruise is alright

Mon, 17 Feb 2020 04:00:00 +0100

What's the best noise ever? How do you earn £600,000 a year for smiling? Whom do influencers influence? Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Newsreaders used to wear cardigans and dogs are stupid

Mon, 10 Feb 2020 04:00:00 +0100

Who's Schrödinger? What does a sheep dog really know? When a fly dies, does its body evaporate and leave the wings? Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

We're soft and animals will work out that we won't fight back

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 04:00:00 +0100

What's a soffit? Will squirrels attack us? Would you leave your house if seagulls were waiting outside? Can you do a South-African accent? Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

A 65" telly is ridiculous and I don't want a bigger one

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 04:00:00 +0100

What's the format of widescreen? Does 8K make you feel seasick? Wouldn't a big TV look stupid in the corner? Can't you just watch TV on your phone? Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

Oxford Street is hideous and I don't remember anyone's name

Mon, 20 Jan 2020 04:00:00 +0100

Why do people go to Oxford Street? What happens to old binoculars? Should you wear sandals? Why does everyone have to wear a high-vis jacket? Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff