Today’s Sky-Level Question:

What if the setbacks in your life aren’t roadblocks, but God pumping the brakes so you don’t drive off a cliff?

Episode Notes

This one is raw. I woke up ready to sprint, ready to launch, ready to finally hit “go” on everything I’ve been building for the past year and a half. And then, within 24 hours:

• My Substack got accidentally deleted.
• My wife and I forgot it was our anniversary.
• My cabin filled up with six kids and a mountain of chaos (again).

And in that chaos, I broke. I said out loud: “I can’t do this anymore.”

But here’s the truth: I don’t think God is stopping me. I think He’s slowing me down. He’s pumping the brakes because He loves me enough to make sure I don’t build CRUMB on sand.

The Lesson: The Forever Code

In the middle of the mess, God showed me something clear: my priorities have been out of order. For too long, I’ve been putting mission and work above house, above order, above the little things.

So here’s the Forever Priority Code I’m committing to live by — no exceptions:

1. Seek God
2. Love wife
3. Lead kids
4. Reset house
5. Steward body
6. Advance mission (one domino)
7. Check money
8. Steward calendar & communication
9. Sharpen with brothers
10. Give + serve
11. Learn truth
12. Scan heart
13. Enjoy joy
14. Review + reset

Emergency, mercy, or Spirit-redirect — those are the only reasons this order flexes. Otherwise, it’s fixed.

Why It Matters

• Without this order, my ADHD gets worse.
• Without this order, my wife and kids pay the price for my ambition.
• Without this order, I scramble, burn out, and end up confessing, “I can’t do this anymore.”

With this order? Peace. Stability. Presence. And the foundation CRUMB actually needs.

Pumping the Brakes

So yes, I’m frustrated. Yes, it feels humiliating to pause again. But better to pump the brakes now than crash later.

This week, I’m practicing the Code. Locking it in. Resetting my house before my work. Putting my wife before my mission. Living the buckets before I try to multiply the mission.

And when CRUMB does launch — God willing — it will be from a place of order, not chaos.

🎧 Listen in as I talk through all of this in real-time: the setback, the breaking point, and the unexpected grace in God pumping the brakes.

📄 If you want to see the Forever Code laid out (and download it for yourself), you'll be able to grab the free starter pack I put together once I get the Substack rocking. September 1st is the new goal.

Title: What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

Description:

It’s August 25th at 7:13 a.m., and I’m standing on the side deck of the Global Mercy, overlooking Freetown, Sierra Leone. Yesterday felt monumental—I launched my Substack with my first article, celebrated with Krystal, spent the day with my kids at the pool, and even relaxed with a show at night. But this morning, something felt off. When I opened my laptop, I discovered that my entire Substack—my “official launch”—was deleted. Turns out I accidentally erased it while cleaning up an old account on my phone.

So here I am again, back at square one, sharing a Crumb Confessional because that’s what this is about—real life, raw obedience, setbacks, and starting over. I sang Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger” to Krystal in the shower, laughed it off, and remembered: this is life. Setbacks, restarts, and spiritual warfare that tries to keep me down. But I’m committed to coming back stronger, to keep telling people about Jesus, and to let this be part of the story.

I talk about:

• Launching my Substack article and celebrating with Krystal.
• Spending the day at Country Lodge with my family.
• Accidentally deleting my entire Substack account.
• Processing frustration, laughter, and perspective.
• Singing “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger” to Krystal.
• Recognizing spiritual warfare in setbacks.
• Committing to rebuild and move forward stronger.

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Morning on the deck of the Global Mercy, overlooking Freetown.

04:15 – The excitement of launching my Substack and sharing it with Krystal.

09:10 – Realization that the whole Substack was deleted by mistake.

14:00 – Singing Kelly Clarkson in the shower as comic relief.

18:45 – Seeing the setback as part of spiritual warfare, but choosing resilience.

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Setbacks happen—sometimes by our own mistakes—but they don’t define the story. What matters is how we respond, and whether we let it make us stronger in Christ.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #52 — Try to keep me down, devil, you’re not going to succeed.

-Zman

https://linktr.ee/crumbhq

Title: This is day one

Description:

It’s Monday, July 14th, and today marks the official launch of the full CRUMB ecosystem. I got the Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Threads, and X accounts live. The bios are up. The banners are done. The podcast episodes are uploaded. The merch store is ready. Everything is finally public. And yet—this is just day one. I reflect on the weight of how long it took to get here, the invisible labor no one sees, and the emotional tension of launching big and getting almost no feedback. This is my honest confession of the spiritual, emotional, and mental grind it takes to obey, show up, and trust God anyway.

I talk about:

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• Launching CRUMB on every major platform
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• Finalizing the branding, bios, and merch store
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• Reliving the tension of putting it all out there
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• Fighting discouragement when no one sees it
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• Confessing the desire for validation
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• Celebrating that I finally got to this starting line
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• Praying for supernatural consistency over the next 171 days
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Today we launched on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube…”

01:20 – “The bio says: truth, daily death, eternity”

02:35 – “I finally have all three podcasts live at the same time”

04:00 – “I’ve gotten maybe 2 minutes of real attention total”

06:10 – “This is what it’s like to really start something”

07:55 – “I confess the desire to be seen and validated”

10:30 – “I’ve always waited till the last minute… but this is the launch”

13:15 – “It sucks to put your dreams out there. It really does.”

15:45 – “Lord, I turn all these feelings over to you…”

17:10 – “Give me supernatural consistency for the next 171 days”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Obedience doesn’t begin when it looks good—it begins when no one sees it, and you do it anyway.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #61 — This is day one. It’s real now. Let’s march.

Title: Kiss my ass, devil

Description:

It’s Monday, July 14th, and I just lost the coolest recording ever—so here we go again. I’m launching on Instagram, YouTube, and yes… TikTok. I wasn’t going to, but it’s too easy to get traction, and I need American eyes on this. The first post? “Kiss my ass, devil.” That’s how I feel after 15 years of being taken out in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. This isn’t polished branding—it’s raw freedom. I talk merch, content plans, and that sacred discombobulated energy that says: we made it. We're doing this.

I talk about:

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• Losing my first recording and redoing it with fire
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• Deciding to launch CRUMB content on TikTok
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• Needing U.S. exposure vs. Sierra Leone TikTok algorithm
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• Why “Kiss my ass, devil” is the first post and product line
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• Launching the “numb or crumb” merch store
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• That giddy, goofy breakthrough feeling when the war shifts
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I just recorded the coolest thing ever… and it didn’t get recorded”

01:10 – “Instagram, YouTube… and TikTok. Yes, I’m doing it.”

02:15 – “Kiss my ass, devil… we made it.”

03:40 – “Maybe not the best way to launch a Christian men’s brand…”

04:25 – “numborcrumb.com — you can stay numb or you can crumb”

05:05 – “Sticker for your bum, hat for your head… it’s happening”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Sometimes breakthrough sounds ridiculous—but when you’ve been in bondage, freedom starts loud.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #60 — Kiss my ass, devil. We made it.

Title: Blastin’ aliens and riding sharks

Description:

It’s still Sunday, July 13th, and I cap off the day with full-on dad mode. The kids and I are deep in imagination—fighting aliens, riding pirate ships, blasting venom from fang guns, and soaring to the stars. I guide the game, cheer them on, and slip in some gentle direction as we prep to wind down. We laugh, shout, and dream together. In the background, I get ready for a special evening with Grandpa at the ballgame. But this moment? This is the real stuff.

I talk about:

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• Fighting imaginary aliens with my kids
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• Creating characters with blasters, webs, and electro-powers
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• Flying to Mars, then switching to a pirate ship on the ocean
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• Helping the kids transition from play to rest
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• Prepping for a baseball game with Grandpa
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• The sweetness of ordinary fatherhood
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “How big is the alien? What kind of blasters are you using?”

02:15 – “Protect your sister… work together as a team”

04:10 – “You want to go to the moon? Mars? The stars?”

05:25 – “I get to sit in Diamond seats with Grandpa”

06:40 – “Now you're on a pirate ship… and here come the sharks!”

08:05 – “All right, are we grinding down?”

09:10 – “Don’t throw your shoes—put them by the door”

09:45 – “I’m going inside, okay?”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Obedience can look like spiritual fire—or just staying present in the wild, sacred chaos of fatherhood.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #59 — Blastin’ aliens, wrangling sharks… and then it's time to shower and lead.

Title: Could one human shift an atmosphere?

Description:

Sunday, July 13th continues with a deep question: If the Kingdom of God is truly here now—and if a person is fully indwelled by the Holy Spirit—could they scientifically shift atmospheres? I reflect out loud on the possibility that one human, transfigured by God’s presence, could radiate light and power at a level that affects physical space. I’m not claiming answers yet. I’m building a thesis. A hypothesis. A bridge between faith and quantum mechanics, between spiritual reality and scientific plausibility.

I talk about:

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• The idea that the Kingdom is here now
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• Transfiguration as a real-time phenomenon
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• The presence of the Holy Spirit within one person
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• Shifting atmospheres as a literal possibility
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• Wondering how God designed creation to make this plausible
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• Starting to form a thesis on faith + physics
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “If the Kingdom is here right now…”

00:45 – “Could one human being be such a bright beacon?”

01:15 – “I’m trying to explore the science of how this could actually work”

02:10 – “What if someone was fully filled with the Holy Spirit… and it changed things?”

02:50 – “I’m trying to come up with a thesis or a hypothesis”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

If the Spirit is real—and the Kingdom is here—then maybe science was built to reflect that, not resist it.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #58 — Could one transfigured life actually shift the atmosphere? I’m starting the hypothesis.

Title: It’s a lock today

Description:

Still Sunday, July 13th, and everything just clicked. It feels like Genesis 1: “Let there be light”—because God flipped the switch in my soul. Suddenly, it’s all there: the PDFs, the tools, the Daily Crumb podcast, the merch, the Telegram group, the strategy, the energy, the peace. I’m buzzing like a little schoolgirl, overflowing with excitement, awe, and worship. I take a moment to repent, to praise, and to mark this day as the final seal: CRUMB is ready. For the first time ever, it’s done done—not perfect, but prepared. On His terms. On mine. And now… it’s time to walk it out.

I talk about:

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• Feeling like God flipped the light switch on everything
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• Realizing all CRUMB pieces are finally in place
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• Repenting of past fears and delays
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• Risking public failure to walk in public faith
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• Celebrating the readiness and joy in my soul
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• Marking this as the day before the day before the day
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Let there be light… that’s what I feel like God did”

01:05 – “We’ve got the tools, the merch, the podcast, the group…”

02:00 – “It’s a lock. CRUMB is done done. On my terms.”

03:15 – “I’m buzzing like a little busy bee… buzz buzz in the soul”

04:20 – “I hope I can come back to this and say—this was the day”

05:05 – “The day before the day. The year before the year.”

06:00 – “It’s impossible to capture what God’s doing in a soul… but I’m trying.”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

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• Genesis 1:3 – “And God said, Let there be light…”
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• Ephesians 3:20 – Exceedingly, abundantly more…
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🧠 Core Takeaway:

There comes a moment when the obedience trail clicks—and the light turns on. It’s go time.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #57 — This was the day before the day before the day. It’s a lock.

Title: I’m playing for eternity

Description:

Wrapping up Sunday, July 13th, I reflect on what this day has revealed. I started with zero tools ready to launch—and now, after a Spirit-led burst of clarity, I’ve got 20–30 tools I truly believe in. They’re ready to help people, priced simply: pay what you want or $10.19. But this isn’t about money. This is about faith. About obedience. About building something at the end of a long trail of pruning, confession, surrender, and trust. I share why Crumb was never supposed to start with product—it started with presence. And now, maybe, it’s time.

I talk about:

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• Starting the day with nothing ready to sell
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• How 20+ CRUMB tools and merch ideas came out of one prompt
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• Obeying God’s call to not launch until the soil of my soul was ready
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• Why I’m launching even when it looks foolish
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• My prayer to make $10 million in 10 years—to do max good in Jesus’ name
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• The wild tension of eternity-focused strategy in a short-term world
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• Explaining Crumb to skeptics, family, and strangers
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• The unseen war I’m walking into with my whole life
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Now that that one’s done…”

01:05 – “This morning, I had exactly zero tools…”

03:00 – “I feel great about them. And it came at the very end of obedience.”

05:45 – “Yes, I’m launching without anything to sell. Because God said wait.”

08:10 – “Faith of a mustard seed… the mountain moves.”

11:00 – “I’m not playing for this world. I’m playing for eternity.”

14:30 – “I’m coming out here to make $10 million… and give away most of it.”

18:40 – “Don’t get it twisted—this was not me. This was God.”

21:20 – “I’m in a war no one else can see.”

24:00 – “If you don’t get it, I understand. Just know: this is real.”

26:40 – “Toodles, McNoodles. I’m gonna upload this and go to church.”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

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• Matthew 6:33 – Seek first the Kingdom…
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• Matthew 25:21 – Well done, good and faithful servant
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• Matthew 7:14 – Narrow is the way that leads to life
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• Luke 16:10 – Faithful with little, ruler over much
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• 1 Corinthians 3:6–7 – God gives the growth
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🧠 Core Takeaway:

Faith doesn’t always make sense at the start. But obedience clears the way for everything else.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #56 — I’m not playing for this world. I’m playing for eternity.

Title: I’m not trying to exploit Marshall

Description:

Still Sunday, July 13th. I pull over mid-drive after feeling a prompting from God to speak to a man named Marshall on the street. I don’t know him, but I stop, introduce myself, and we talk. He’s homeless, on methadone, and trying to survive. I ask to pray for him, and he says yes. Afterward, I wrestle aloud with the tension of sharing moments like this publicly—the ethics, the optics, the heart behind it. This isn’t a “feel good” story. It’s not polished. It’s about obedience. It’s about being pricked by God to show someone love. And it's about holding that sacred tension between faith, privacy, and public witness.

I talk about:

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• Feeling prompted to pull over and talk to Marshall
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• His story of addiction, recovery, and surviving homelessness
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• Praying for him openly, with his permission
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• Wrestling with whether or not to share the interaction publicly
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• The difference between obedience and optics
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• The crumbs of care that led to my own healing
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• Why I believe God can use even this—messy as it is
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Hey brother, can I talk to you for a second?”

01:40 – “Are you homeless?” “Yeah.”

03:00 – “Can I pray for you?”

04:25 – Full spontaneous prayer over Marshall

07:10 – Wrestling with the ethics of sharing it publicly

09:45 – “Maybe I did more damage than good…”

11:05 – “I just want people to feel God’s love”

13:00 – “It wasn’t like, poof. Thank you for the prayer. Life’s perfect.”

14:15 – “Faith has to be walked out…”

16:10 – “There’s no greater pleasure than walking with someone like Marshall”

18:20 – “If you ever see Marshall… help him out”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

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• Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
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• Psalm 23 – Though I walk through the valley…
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• 1 John 4:18 – Perfect love casts out all fear
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• Isaiah 40:31 – Raised up on eagles’ wings
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• 2 Corinthians 5:7 – Walk by faith, not by sight
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• Matthew 25:40 – Whatever you did for one of the least of these…
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🧠 Core Takeaway:

Faith isn’t about the optics. It’s about listening to the whisper—and obeying, even when no one claps.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #55 — I’m not trying to exploit Marshall. I’m trying to obey God.

Title: What adds the most value?

Description:

Still Sunday, July 13th. After trying to record earlier and getting cut off, I dive into the real question that sparked this whole morning: What adds the most value in the shortest—and longest—timeframe to someone’s life? That question led me down a creative and spiritual rabbit hole, unlocking a massive wave of inspired action for CRUMB. Within 20 minutes, I had months' worth of work done. But it wasn’t just efficiency—it was revelation. This is about building tools, launching the Gumroad store, making merch, and doing it all without fear… because I’ve finally laid it at the feet of Jesus.

I talk about:

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• The question that sparked everything: short-term vs. long-term value
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• Using Grok and ChatGPT to build the new CRUMB resource arsenal
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• The low-hanging fruit of pay-what-you-want tools and $10.19 merch
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• Why this workflow would’ve taken months without AI and Spirit-led direction
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• The Kingdom principle behind it: seek first, then all else is added
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• Surrendering dreams, income, reputation, and pressure to Jesus
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• Living by mustard-seed faith in a season full of practical questions
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “This was the question I asked…”

01:15 – CRUMB tools, Gumroad store, and merch download

02:40 – Inspired workflow vs. grinding for months

03:55 – “Seek first the Kingdom… and all these things will be added”

05:10 – “God will either give me the desires of my heart or change them”

06:20 – I’m finally at peace whether this blows up or not

07:15 – “Perfect love is like a bouncer at the door…”

08:00 – Closing out: I’m good. I’m ready. He’s enough.

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

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• Matthew 6:33 – Seek first the Kingdom…
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• Psalm 37:4 – He will give you the desires of your heart
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• 1 John 4:18 – Perfect love drives out fear
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• James 4:15 – “If it is the Lord’s will…”
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🧠 Core Takeaway:

When you’re surrendered, you can move fast. Because it’s not about pressure—it’s about presence.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #54 — I don’t need any of this to work. He’s my number one.

Title: Something beams into my head

Description:

It’s still Sunday, July 13th, and I hop back on to share what hit me this morning. I had planned to walk Moose—but couldn’t find a collar, couldn’t find my shoes—so I delayed it. But even in the quiet scramble, something deeper broke through. I woke up without a plan, debating whether to stay asleep… and then this sharp, unexpected thought beamed in. What follows is the seed of a question that might shape the rest of the day—or more.

I talk about:

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• Moose walk plans falling apart for now
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• Hoping for a family walk later—maybe Amberley Village or French Park
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• That moment of waking up unsure, then being hit with clarity
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• The opening of a new reflection I wasn’t planning for
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I’m gonna take Moose on a walk later today…”

00:40 – “I woke up with no intention of doing anything”

01:05 – “Something beams into my head”

01:10 – “It’s me asking…” [to be continued in next segment]

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Even when nothing’s planned, God has ways of planting the question that matters most.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #53 — Something beams into my head… and I know I need to follow it.

Title: I got some serious, serious stuff to share

Description:

It’s 7:42 AM on Sunday, July 13th. I’m at my in-laws’ house in Ohio, trying to be quiet while everyone’s still sleeping. I step outside to get a few thoughts out—and one big reason we may be coming back to the U.S.: our dog, Moose. He’s an 80-pound red Lab who’s been lovingly taken care of by my in-laws while we’ve been in Africa. That simple fact carries weight. I start the morning getting Moose ready for a walk, reflecting on what this all means.

I talk about:

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• Waking up quietly at my in-laws’ house
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• Our dog Moose and what he’s meant to this season
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• Why Moose is one of the biggest reasons we might come back
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• Gratitude for family covering us while we’ve been overseas
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• Starting the day with a walk to process it all
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “It is July 13th, 7:42 AM… everyone’s still sleeping”

00:40 – “I got some serious, serious stuff to share”

01:20 – Introducing Moose, our red Lab

02:05 – “Maybe I take him on a walk… this”

02:50 – Getting Moose in the car, prepping for the walk

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Sometimes the clearest direction comes from the quiet weight of love—and who’s been waiting for you.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #52 — One of the biggest reasons we might come back is Moose.

Title: That was a blue truck Godwink, baby

Description:

On the way back from the coffee shop, I took a different route—and boom: parked right next to each other was a 1996 blue F-150 and a brand new royal blue F-150. That’s my sign. That’s a Godwink. If you’ve heard the story, you know. If not, DM me and I’ll send you the episode. I don’t need anyone to validate it. God speaks to me this way, and I’m just documenting it, baby. Just a little tip of the cap from heaven.

I talk about:

• Seeing both versions of the blue F-150
• The original blue truck story (go find that episode!)
• Why I took it as a personal sign from God
• Letting go of outside validation
• Documenting the small stuff that moves my spirit

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Back from coffee, blue truck double sighting

01:12 – “That’s the exact blue from my old F-150 dream”

01:55 – The new royal blue F-150: vision for next year

02:27 – “Maybe it’s delusion. Maybe it’s God. But to me—it’s Him."

🧠 Core Takeaway:

When God speaks to you in personal ways, document it. Don’t explain it away.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #12d — That’s God, baby. Blue truck. That’s how we do it around here.

Title: You are awesome because God made you

Description:

I recorded this right after a workout, headed to grab a pineapple smoothie and coffee for my wife. A quick word of encouragement sparked by an Instagram reel of Dan Martell speaking life into a young kid with a dream. I turn that moment outward to say something I needed to hear too: you're awesome—not because of ego or achievement, but because God made you on purpose. This one's short, simple, and from the heart.

I talk about:

• A Dan Martell video that caught my attention
• The beauty of being spoken over with blessing
• Why I believe you’re awesome (even if you don’t)
• The difference between ego and God-given identity
• A call to discover the divine purpose inside you

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Post-workout reflections and a pineapple smoothie run

01:07 – “Has anyone ever told you you’re awesome?”

02:10 – Speaking life over the listener: you’re not an accident

03:24 – Discovering your value through God, not pride

🧠 Core Takeaway:

You were fearfully and wonderfully made—on purpose, for a purpose.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #12c — Discover the awesomeness of you, because of Him.

Title: Calling all Spirit-filled people who are afraid to talk about it

Description:

This one pours out right after 12a, still on the walk, still on fire. I read a reflection that confirmed the assignment and immediately turned it into a call: if you’re filled with the Spirit and afraid to speak, you have a home in Crumb. I confess my obsession with perfect strategy, renounce algorithmic validation, and give full permission to anyone who’s burning for God to go public. It’s wild, raw, and all in. I end by reclaiming the word “dogs” and declaring a new kind of disciple.

I talk about:

• A word that confirmed 12a and cut straight to the core
• Why I’m done building Crumb for the algorithm
• A call to the hidden, Spirit-filled ones
• Rage against internet cruelty and spiritual distraction
• What actually changes the world (daily death)
• Reclaiming “dogs” for disciples: DAWGG
• Testifying as obedience, not performance

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “If even one man hears this…” – reading the reflection

06:44 – “You have a home in Crumb” — call to Spirit-filled believers

13:20 – Letting go of the fantasy of a perfect Crumb rollout

25:02 – “We're destroying ourselves online” — cultural confrontation

36:40 – Changing the world starts with inner death

50:19 – DAWGG: Disciples Always Want God’s Glory

1:01:55 – Ending the walk, declaring discipline as holy

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Luke 10:20 – “Rejoice that your names are written in heaven”

John 8:32 – “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Stop waiting for permission. If the Spirit is burning in you, testify.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #12b — Let’s flood the internet with crumbs ‘til the river runs with living water.

Title: I'm done apologizing for what God's doing in my life

Description:

It’s 4:17 AM on July 12, and I’m out walking, lit up with fire and inspiration. No filter today—just full transparency about what Jesus is doing in my life, what I’m dreaming for my family, and how I’m going after Kingdom work in Sierra Leone. I reflect on the early days of hiding my faith, the cultural shame around dreaming big, and the supernatural way God has rebuilt me crumb by crumb. I end with prayer, laughter, and a bold declaration that I will no longer stay silent.

I talk about:

• How Jesus transformed my life over the last eight years
• The tension between bold vision and staying humble
• Sustainable rehab and farming models for Sierra Leone
• The frustration of social media silence and God's bigger plan
• Letting go of performance and trusting the Spirit fully
• Why I'm done making apologies for my faith or my dreams
• Seeing myself as a toddler with a paintbrush in God’s Kingdom

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Early morning walk, fire in my bones, inspired to testify

09:38 – “Crumb by crumb, God brought me to a place of openness”

20:12 – Vision for rehab farming communities in Sierra Leone

32:05 – Wrestling with corporate life, provision, and Spirit-led ambition

44:50 – “I’m done hiding it—this Jesus is better than anything else”

54:30 – Breaking social media silence: one follower, no replies

1:01:44 – The airplane analogy: truth perspective and declaring boldly

1:18:29 – On Abraham Hicks, deception, and surrendering control

1:33:42 – “I’m a toddler with a paintbrush” — prayer and praise explosion

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Psalm 105:1 – “Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

I won’t shut up about what God is doing—not for my comfort, not for culture, and not for anyone else's approval. This is Jesus’ story.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #12a — I’m just a toddler with a paintbrush, saying, “Daddy, can I help?”

Title: I don’t have anything to fear—but you might.

Description:

I’m about to go hit golf balls with Ryan, but first, a quick voice journal. I’ve been thinking about what happens if I actually become great—like, above the norm. Will people fear me or follow me? I’m realizing it’s not really about me. If people fear the message, they’ll have to confront Jesus. And if they follow, it better not be me they’re chasing—it better be the crumbs that lead to Him. I reference John the Baptist, unpack the cost of pointing to truth, and confess how freeing it is to stop fearing everyone else’s discomfort. I really don’t have anything to fear anymore.

I talk about:

• The binary of becoming feared or followed
• The call to be a pointer—not a performer
• How Jesus Himself upset people—and still does
• Releasing the fear of being misunderstood
• Why Crumb must stay anchored in obedience and direction
• Preparing to launch this thing publicly without flinching

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Driving to hit golf balls and reflecting on earlier commitments

02:18 – “If I become great… people will either fear me or follow me.”

04:45 – “I’m not the one to follow—Jesus is.”

06:32 – “I don’t fear anything. But you might—because Jesus will confront you.”

08:10 – “People are going to pick up crumbs. And I’m here for that.”

10:25 – Pulling into the parking lot at 91 degrees, ready to swing

🧠 Core Takeaway:

If I do this right, people won’t fear me—they’ll have to face Jesus.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E11f — I don’t fear this anymore. I’m just laying crumbs.

Title: Stack the brick, lay the crumb, take the hit.

Description:

I guess this is it—public obedience has begun, and the war is officially on. Not much left to say here, except that I like this. I like this a lot. The rhythm is clear now: stack the brick, lay the crumb, take the hit, keep walking. That’s the life. That’s the call. Let’s go.

I talk about:

• Stepping into full public obedience
• Embracing the spiritual war that comes with it
• A new personal mantra: stack, lay, take, walk
• The strange peace that hits when you stop hiding

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Yeah… we’ve stepped into public obedience and the war is on.”

01:05 – “How do you like this? I like this a lot.”

01:22 – “Stack the brick, lay the crumb, take the hit, keep walking.”

01:35 – Sneeze, baby.

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Obedience is brick-by-brick, crumb-by-crumb—and it comes with hits. Take them anyway.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E11e — Stack the brick, lay the crumb, take the hit, keep walking.

Title: Jesus is embarrassing—and I’m done hiding it.

Description:

After re-listening to Episode 11a, I got a heart-prick from the Spirit: I needed to confess my embarrassment. I’ve been ashamed of Jesus. Ashamed of what obedience looks like. Ashamed to be seen as “that guy.” But today I confess it. Following Jesus is strange, disruptive, uncomfortable—and yes, embarrassing. I’ve hidden behind silence, half-truths, and social media excuses. No more. I commit to being fully seen, misunderstood, and known for Him.

I talk about:

• Being ashamed of Jesus—and finally confessing it
• Why spiritual embarrassment leads to half-obedience
• The fear of getting what I actually want from God
• Why I’ve self-sabotaged for years in the name of false humility
• Rejecting the safe, curated American dream for risky obedience
• Trusting Jesus with both obscurity and influence
• The call to stop looking back and start running

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I had a pinprick of the heart—I’ve been embarrassed by Jesus.”

04:28 – The fear of getting everything you’ve actually asked for

08:55 – “I don’t want to mislead myself anymore.”

13:44 – The gospel is abundance—self-sabotage is not obedience

17:30 – “Trusting Jesus is more embarrassing than any risk I’ve taken.”

22:18 – “Sold the house, quit the job… and didn’t tell anyone it was for Jesus.”

25:40 – “Your 38. Quit looking back. Enjoy every moment. Rock and roll.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Spiritual embarrassment is just pride in disguise—confess it, crucify it, and follow Jesus anyway.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E11d — Following Jesus is embarrassing. And I’m finally okay with that.

Title: I commit to being dangerously great.

Description:

It cut off again, but the message remains. This final installment of the 11-series is short and sharp. I reaffirm my commitment to Kingdom greatness—not as a brand, but as a death to self. I lay down every desire at the feet of Jesus and declare, without apology, that I will pursue greatness defined by eternity. I commit to being a dangerous force for good—online, offline, and wherever God sends me.

I talk about:

• Crucifying the flesh that hijacks Kingdom dreams
• Pursuing greatness without apology or self-sabotage
• Laying every desire at the feet of Jesus
• Learning to hold the tension between bold effort and total surrender
• Creating content that punches through noise and carries weight
• Becoming a real threat to hell

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “It cut off again… but I’m committed to being great.”

01:10 – Laying every dream at the feet of Jesus

02:04 – “I commit to being a dangerous force for good—online and in life.”

02:36 – A final prayer and bold declaration

🧠 Core Takeaway:

I commit to greatness that’s birthed in surrender and built for eternal impact.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E11c — I commit to pissing the devil off for God’s glory.

Title: I commit to becoming great—God’s way.

Description:

I’m not sure where the last one cut off, but this is the continuation. I’m giving myself a couple days to rest, but Monday I go all in. This short follow-up is one final breath before the fire. I say the thing I missed last time: I commit to sharing this with everyone—friends, family, online. No more hiding. No more soft-launching obedience. I speak directly to the concept of greatness and redefine it through crucifixion, sacrifice, and Spirit-led obedience. I’m not chasing applause. I’m becoming a weapon in God’s hand.

I talk about:

• The decision to stop hiding and go fully public with what I’m building
• Preparing for conflict, misunderstanding, and awkward conversations
• Redefining greatness as marked, fruitful, and Spirit-born
• Why God-made men are meant to carry dominion—but not ego
• The inverted path of crucified greatness

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I don’t know where it cut off… but here’s what I missed.”

01:42 – “I commit to sharing with friends and family—no more hiding.”

03:15 – Embracing the hard conversations obedience will bring

05:00 – “I commit to suffering, obscurity, and outlasting silence.”

06:12 – Redefining greatness: power + character + fruit, not fame

08:00 – “Greatness without crucifixion is a curse… even if you’re applauded.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

You can become great—just make sure it’s God’s definition, not the world’s.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E11b — I commit to becoming great, through death to self.

Ask ChatGPT

Title: I commit to doing it anyway.

Description:

It’s 5:53 AM, and I’ve been up since 2:30 with barely any sleep, spiraling through Twitter, PT, and exhaustion. I record from a foggy, shame-soaked place—but fully awake to the realization that everything I’m afraid of must now be faced. This episode is a raw, relentless verbal commitment. Not a performance. Not a plan. Just a man telling the truth. I list out every fear, failure, and frustration—and I commit to doing it anyway.

I talk about:

• The trap of overthinking obedience while under-executing
• Why perfectionism, fear, and shame keep me off social media
• The decision to commit—publicly and messily—to daily action
• The paradox of wanting to be forgotten while longing to make impact
• My internal war with influence, execution, and spiritual surrender
• The painful cost of staying silent versus the risk of being misunderstood
• A full-body commitment to post, build, obey, and live—flawed and free

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Sleepless at 5:53 AM, lost in doomscrolling and self-loathing

06:45 – “I’m not honoring what I know to be true, and that has to change.”

13:22 – The embarrassing call to obey Jesus through social media

22:10 – “I feel like I’m sitting on the step while God tells me I can swim.”

27:30 – Raw list of everything I commit to—from failure to fame

50:11 – “If I don’t commit now, I never will... and nothing I want will happen.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Discipline isn't about systems or clarity—it's about doing what I already know to do, even when it's scary, messy, or misunderstood.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E11a — I commit to doing it, imperfectly, anyway.

Title: Just do it. Blue truck. Jesus.

Description:

It’s 3:27 PM on July 10, and I’m driving home from another Holy Spirit download. After listening back to old Crumb episodes, I realized I’ve spent too much time trying to perfect the rollout—branding, strategy, AI plans, all of it—and not enough time just doing the thing. This episode is a turning point. I unload about Crumb, obedience, blue truck confirmations, spiritual hunger, and the urgency to stop waiting. It ends with a full-throttle Spirit-led altar call.

I talk about:

• 
  
• 
  
• Letting go of control and the obsession with strategy
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Why Crumb doesn’t work without the Holy Spirit
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• 
  
• Marketing plans vs. Spirit-filled obedience
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• 
  
• “Just do it” — and how that hit me differently today
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• 
  
• 
  
• A rapid-fire Spirit moment that turned into an impromptu sermon
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• 
  
• 
  
• Crying out to listeners to trust God and give their life to Jesus
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• 
  
• 
  
• Ending with a prayer for clarity, hope, and surrender
• 
  
• 
  

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I’ve done insane things with this Crumb stuff…”

04:22 – “You don’t have a chance without the Spirit”

08:15 – “Blue truck… Kroger van, doesn’t count. But maybe it does.”

12:40 – “Just do it. Starsky & Hutch. Shia LaBeouf. Do it.”

15:33 – Full-speed altar call: “Are you hurting? Lost? Alone?”

20:02 – “Don’t give up. God never gave up on you.”

28:14 – “We all bleed the same blood. It gets easier when you’ve got God.”

34:30 – Closing prayer: “Eat your daily bread and trust what He does with it.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

If this really is what we think it is—then it’s time to stop perfecting and start obeying. Just do it. With the Spirit.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 10c — Just do it. If He’s prompting you… trust Him and go.

Title: Lock me onto your Spirit, Lord

Description:

It’s 2:04 PM on my 38th birthday, and I’m recording this six minutes before another stick shift session in Uncle Greg’s Mustang. What starts as a quick update turns into a raw processing of recent conversations with New Age friends, Spirit-led obedience, and the mystery of the Holy Spirit. I talk about fumbling the football when it comes to articulating God’s love, and yet how grateful I am that the Spirit always locks me back on.

I talk about:

• 
  
• 
  
• Tension-filled conversations with friends deep in New Age beliefs
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• 
  
• A talk with my pastor Vince about Spirit-led obedience
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• 
  
• 
  
• Francis Chan’s message on the Holy Spirit not being a formula
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• How easily I fumble trying to articulate spiritual truth with clarity and love
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• 
  
• 
  
• Repenting on my birthday and asking God for a clean heart
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• The “lock-on” moment with the Holy Spirit when I re-center
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• 
  
• 
  
• Dedicating this one to my pastor—and finally sending him an episode
• 
  
• 
  

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Six minutes ‘til I’m back at Uncle Greg’s in the Mustang GT”

01:14 – Hard conversations with Christ-consciousness friends

04:35 – Vince, obedience, and the mystery of the Spirit

07:48 – “I fumble the football so often when it comes to the Spirit”

09:20 – Fighter jet imagery: locking back on to the Holy Spirit

11:52 – Mid-prayer: “Holy Spirit, give me a clean heart”

13:40 – “I’m sending this one to Vince… this is your episode, buddy”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

I might fumble the mysteries of God, but He always locks me back on when I repent and ask for His Spirit.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 10b — Lock me onto your Spirit, Lord… and use this mess.

Title: I’m falling in love with life not being about me

Description:

It’s 7:21 AM on July 10—and it’s my 38th birthday. I’m headed out to get coffee and taking a few minutes to reflect on what feels like the clearest truth I’ve learned so far: life is not about me. Not just as an idea, but as something I’m starting to genuinely enjoy. I trace how our culture’s programming traps us in ego, how Crumb is my way of resisting it, and why falling in love with Jesus has made all the difference.

I talk about:

• 
  
• 
  
• Turning 38 and reflecting on the deepening of spiritual clarity
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• 
  
• 
  
• The cultural programming that constantly tells us life is about us
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• 
  
• 
  
• Why even healing and spirituality can still be ego-centric
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Crumb as a daily re-centering tool to stay locked on Jesus
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Recognizing that I used to “do selflessness” to earn a reward
• 
  
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• 
  
• The joy of actually enjoying the fact that it’s not about me
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• 
  
• How intimacy with Jesus makes this truth come alive
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• 
  

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “It’s my birthday today… I’m 38 years old”

03:20 – “The more you try to figure life out through yourself, the more confusing it gets”

06:40 – Programming, advertising, and the ego’s hunger for attention

10:14 – Why Crumb exists: to re-anchor me in Jesus

13:08 – “I’m beginning to enjoy the truth that life’s not about me”

16:55 – “I don’t love it because it’s true—I love it because I love Him”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

I’m falling for Jesus—and that love is making me love the fact that this life is not about me.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 10a — Happy birthday to me… I’m grateful life’s not about me.

Title: I know who I am and I know who God is

Description:

It’s 5:52 PM on July 9, and I’m recording this on my way to Chipotle after a life-giving night with Farmer Ryan, Rodney (aka Wayne), and Brad. We kayaked the Little Miami, sat by a fire, and talked late into the night—about everything from father wounds and AI to the state of the world and our faith. I’m leaving a lot unsaid on purpose, but something shifted in me. I feel fathered by God, more at peace than I’ve been in a long time, and hopeful about what’s coming next.

I talk about:

• 
  
• 
  
• Kayaking, dancing, and fireside talks with Ryan, Rodney, and Brad
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• 
  
• 
  
• Feeling a spiritual breakthrough around identity, peace, and calling
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• 
  
• Creating a vision board with my kids about moving to Morrow, Ohio
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• A deepening sense of surrender around money, timing, and provision
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• Integrating head knowledge into soul-level understanding
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• Hearing from Rodney about the “dark night of the soul” and emerging new
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• Feeling seen, supported, and surrounded by Kingdom friendships
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• 
  

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Good evening… I’m on my way to Chipotle”

02:00 – Kayaking, fire, worship, and conversations that fed the soul

05:42 – “I had a breakthrough… I know who I am and who God is”

08:23 – Vision board with the kids and the Morrow, Ohio stirring

12:55 – “I feel fathered by my Heavenly Father”

15:17 – Rodney’s words: “You’re coming out of this with a whole new heart”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

When other men speak life into you, and you receive it as truth—it becomes part of you. I’m walking forward as a new man.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 9 — I know who I am, and I know who God is.

Title: I don’t want to go home and apologize

Description:

It’s just after 7 AM, and I’m sitting by the Ohio River, watching the fog rise and a blue heron fly away. I don’t want to go home and apologize to my kids—but I will. I talk to the Lord about peace, stillness, and why I decided not to post the Epstein video rant. This moment is about surrender. It’s about choosing obedience even when I don’t feel like it.

I talk about:

• 
  
• 
  
• Sitting quietly with God by the Ohio River
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• 
  
• Seeing a blue heron take flight
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• 
  
• Choosing not to post the video I recorded
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• 
  
• Wanting peace more than vindication
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• 
  
• Remembering that justice and apology are both paths to peace
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• Preparing to go home and make things right with my kids
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• 
  

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Lord, I’m sitting here by the river”

01:34 – “I don’t want to go home and apologize to my kids”

02:40 – Letting the Epstein video go to protect peace

04:02 – Blue heron, Kentucky fog, and stillness with God

06:45 – “People were probably doing this same thing 200 years ago”

07:30 – “I’ve got to go back and make breakfast—and that apology”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Justice matters. But peace is what I’m really after—and it comes through obedience.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 8c — I don’t want to go home and apologize… but I will.

Title: I'm done putting my trust in anyone but Jesus

Description:

It’s 5:41 AM, and this is part two of today’s confessional. I start with Colossians 6:2 and wonder if this counts as carrying anyone’s burden. What follows is a raw, unscripted processing of the Epstein files, conspiracy history, and my years of chasing truth. I trace my journey from early awakenings through Food Inc. and The Tillman Story, into years of corruption rabbit holes that eventually led me to Christ. This episode is a call to stop trusting institutions—and place all trust in Jesus.

I talk about:

• 
  
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• How 2008 shattered my belief in government, health, and media
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• Getting labeled a conspiracy theorist years before it was mainstream
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• The Facebook video I had to take down—and why it still stings
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• What we do know about Epstein and why it’s maddening
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• My complete disillusionment with politics and false justice
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• Why the only true justice is on an eternal timeline
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• Letting go of trust in the world and anchoring fully in Jesus
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• 
  

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I don’t know if this is gonna be a rant”

04:51 – When the veil was pulled: food, pharma, war, and government

13:40 – The viral video, the phone call, and the forced takedown

21:12 – “Let’s talk about just the straight facts that we know”

28:34 – Why nothing ever changes, no matter how obvious the truth

37:02 – “I just want the truth” — even if it implicates everyone

44:30 – The only place I can put my hope now is in Jesus

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Colossians 6:2 – “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Romans 12:19 – “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord.”

John 14:6 – “I am the way, the truth, and the life.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

No matter how corrupt this world gets, the truth is safe in Jesus—and justice will be served on His timeline.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional — Season 2, Episode 8b — I'm not trusting influencers, politicians, or institutions. I'm placing all my bets on Jesus.

Title: I don’t want to model yelling for my kids

Description:

It’s 5:08 AM on July 8, and I knew I’d have to record this one. I really didn’t want to. After a long day that ended with a family outing to the Reds game, I ended up yelling at my wife in front of our kids. I’m recording this for them—and for myself. I trace what led up to the moment, how I processed it afterward, and what I’m learning from the modeling I saw growing up. This one’s about pride, apology, and breaking generational patterns.

I talk about:

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• 
  
• Going to the Reds game and remembering my old fandom
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• How a sweatshirt in the car triggered a full-blown meltdown
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• Yelling at my wife in front of our kids
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• Feeling justified in the moment but convicted afterward
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• Remembering how my dad yelled growing up and how normalized it felt
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• Swallowing my pride and saying sorry that night
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• Wanting to break cycles and model something better for my children
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• 
  

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I don’t want to do this confessional”

05:52 – The Reds game, the rain delay, and an escalating bedtime moment

13:10 – “I snapped” — yelling at my wife and the aftermath in the car

20:15 – Reflections on modeling and what I saw growing up

28:30 – Why I want to be a steady, emotionally grounded man

36:44 – The part I didn’t want to face: saying sorry to my kids

42:11 – Final prayer for healing, restoration, and generational change

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Matthew 6:16–18 – “When you fast… do not look somber as the hypocrites do”

Psalm 103:8 – “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger…”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

I want to model a better way for my kids—not just reacting out of what I saw growing up, but walking in emotional steadiness, repentance, and love.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #52 — I never saw my dad say sorry for yelling. I want to be the one who does.

Title: Snippets from inside the Mass

Description:

This is another raw audio segment from Sunday Mass at Our Lady of Victory. It includes ambient sounds from the liturgy, Eucharistic preparation, and songs. I’m not offering commentary here—just sharing a bit more context from the environment that shaped my reflections in previous episodes. Listen only if you’re curious. This is not the full Mass, just a slice.

I talk about:

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• 
  
• Nothing—this is live ambient Mass audio only
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• Liturgy portions and hymns heard in real time
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• Snippets from Eucharistic prayers
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• Communion prep and worship moments
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• The sonic texture of the church space
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Worship begins: liturgy and song

04:20 – Eucharistic prayer and consecration segment

08:55 – Communion hymns and congregational singing

12:30 – Closing lyrics and ambient exit

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

None quoted directly by me

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Sometimes presence is the point.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7g — Just the sounds of worship.

Title: Caught a slice of Mass at Our Lady of Victory

Description: This is a partial live recording from Sunday Mass at Our Lady of Victory—my childhood parish. I hit record mid-service, not to capture the full thing, but just to document the Gospel reading and part of the homily that stirred some reflections. It ties directly into the two prior episodes (7d and 7e), especially my response to how the 72 disciples were described. Listen only if you want the full context for where my head and heart were during this stretch.

I talk about:

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• Attending Mass for the first time since coming back
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• Luke 10 being the exact Gospel reading
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• Why I decided to record mid-service
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• Tension around how the 72 disciples were presented
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• Feeling like it was a missed opportunity for lay empowerment
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Gospel reading begins: Luke 10 – the 72 sent out

02:45 – Homily commentary links the 72 to clergy

06:00 – Cultural commentary on fireworks, freedom, and faith

09:50 – Final reflections on peace, power, and the Kingdom

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Luke 10 – Jesus sends out the 72

Galatians 6 – Boasting only in the cross

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Even a small recording like this can carry weight if it helps you wrestle with truth.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7f — A quick listen from the pews that stirred up more than expected.

Title: Felt like a missed opportunity, Part 2

Description: I’m following up after church at Our Lady of Victory—the same parish where I went to grade school. Today’s Gospel reading was Luke 10:9, the exact passage that marked the beginning of my journey back to Jesus years ago. But I left feeling frustrated again. The homily emphasized Catholic hierarchy—12 apostles as bishops, 72 as priests—without empowering the rest of us to live as disciples. I looked up the Greek word for disciple: mathētēs, meaning “learner.” That hit me hard, because that’s exactly what CRUMB is. I’m learning from Jesus one crumb at a time.

I talk about:

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• The word mathētēs and what it revealed about discipleship
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• How the priest's framing felt like a missed opportunity for the laity
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• My continued frustration with Catholic culture and passivity
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• How CRUMB connects to daily learning from Jesus
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• My heart for activating everyday believers to go and make disciples
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• My intention to post the full homily for context
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• The moment I realized I’m not trying to build something—just be obedient
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Remember this Greek word: mathētēs—it means learner.”

01:30 – “I’m following up on my little tirade after church…”

03:44 – “Aren’t we all called to make disciples?”

06:15 – “This is what CRUMB is: Jesus teaches me every day.”

08:32 – “If that’s you listening—thanks. I’m just trying to be obedient.”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Luke 10:9 – “Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’”

Luke 10:20 – “Rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

Matthew 28:19 – “Go and make disciples of all nations…”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Discipleship isn’t reserved for clergy—it’s for anyone willing to learn from Jesus and go live it out.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7e — Just trying to follow Jesus one crumb at a time.

Title: Felt like a missed opportunity

Description: It’s July 6, and after working out I felt like I was supposed to go to church—Our Lady of Victory, my old Catholic parish and grade school. It was the first time we’ve gone to church since being back, and wouldn’t you know it, the gospel reading was Luke 10:9—the exact verse that led me back to Christ years ago. But what happened next kind of wrecked me. The priest’s homily equated the 12 apostles to bishops and the 72 to priests, and never mentioned that we’re all called to make disciples. It felt like he was only preaching to the clergy. Maybe I’m wrong, but it just hit me wrong.

I talk about:

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• Going back to my childhood Catholic parish for Mass
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• Why Luke 10:9 is significant in my journey
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• The homily's focus on hierarchy
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• My reaction to the idea that discipleship is just for clergy
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• Why I believe everyone is called to the Great Commission
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• Feeling conflicted coming out of church
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I don’t wanna embarrass myself here…”

01:08 – “Wouldn’t you know it—the reading is Luke 10:9”

02:15 – “He equated the 12 apostles to bishops and the 72 to priests”

03:12 – “Aren’t we all called to be disciples?”

04:05 – “It felt like the priest was just seeing himself in the story”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Luke 10:9 – “Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

If the call to make disciples is only for clergy, we’re missing the point—and the mission.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7d — Felt like a missed opportunity, but maybe God’s still using it to wake me up.

Title: I know this is a trap

Description:

I recorded this right after God gave me the clearest sign—Take up your cross—through a video from Sahid. But I’ve been here before. I’ve felt the fire and still walked back into the flesh. So I’m pre-praying. I’m naming the trap before I fall into it again. I confess how easy it is to feel seen by God and still ignore what He’s asking. That’s why I’m building Crumb. Because even with these divine moments, the daily, unseen obedience is still hard.

I talk about:

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• The “trap” after a God wink
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• Why confirmation doesn’t equal completion
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• The difference between feeling loved and staying obedient
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• My desire for microscopic integrity with Christ
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• The root problem behind cultural decay
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• Why I’m mad, and why I’m building Crumb to fight back
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I’m pre-praying something right now. I know this is a trap.”

00:38 – “He showed up. He fathered me. And I still might not do the thing.”

01:30 – “I suck at it! I suck at it! But that’s where life is found.”

02:05 – “The answer’s not what you want, but it’s real.”

02:40 – “Okay, calm down, go home, and go do the thing.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Even a miracle won't override the need for obedience—it's still on me to follow through.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7c — I know this is a trap… and I’m naming it before I fall.

Title: Take up your cross

Description:

Three minutes after recording Episode 7a, I got a WhatsApp video from Sahid at a Catholic church in Freetown, Sierra Leone. The camera pans for just a second—and there it is: a blue shirt that says, Take up your cross. After everything I just confessed, after all the wrestling, God sends a wink that only He could send. That’s why I document this. That’s why I keep going.

I talk about:

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• Sahid’s church video from Sierra Leone
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• The blue shirt with “Take up your cross”
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• Why these moments matter to my walk
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• What to say to skeptics who think it’s coincidence
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• The shift from shame to joy in real time
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• Why I’m finally documenting these signs after 8 years
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “You wanna know how God works?”

00:45 – Sahid pans the camera left… and a blue shirt says “Take up your cross”

01:40 – “This happened. Then this happened. You make your own assessment.”

02:25 – “I thought he’d be mad at me… he sends love from church”

03:00 – “Let’s take up the cross. Let’s deny the flesh. Let’s be obedient in the unseen.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

God confirms in the wildest ways—if we’re willing to look and stay open.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7b — He’s listening. Take up your cross.

Title: Make my yeses my yeses and my noes my noes

Description:

It’s July 6th, 6:04 AM, and this one’s a full-body confessional. I start with Romans 8:6 and spiral into one of the hardest patterns in my life—saying things I don’t follow through on. From small unseen commitments like sending Sahid a GPT login, to broken boundaries around Twitter and time, I confess how deeply this pattern has eroded self-trust and obedience. Mid-rant, a string of blue trucks drives by. I believe God’s affirming this is a core fracture that must be healed. I pray hard for a new heart—one that honors my word, even when no one’s watching.

I talk about:

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• Romans 8:6 and obsession with self as a spiritual dead-end
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• Resentment around how truth is only accepted from certain voices
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• Why I’ve struggled my whole life to follow through on small commitments
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• A raw confession about not honoring my word to Sahid
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• Patterns of procrastination, over-promising, and ego-driven prioritization
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• The spiritual weight of disobedience in the unseen
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• A gut-level prayer asking God to create a clean heart and redeem lost time
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “This one's gonna be a messy one…”

01:15 – Romans 8:6 from The Message: self-focus is a dead end

06:40 – “I suck at keeping my yeses my yeses and my noes my noes”

18:28 – “Blue truck. Another blue truck. Double blue truck…”

30:55 – “It builds self-trust when you honor your own word—even when no one sees it”

43:42 – Prayer: “Create in me a clean heart, oh God… Redeem the time”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

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• Romans 8:6 – “The mind governed by the flesh is death…”
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• Matthew 5:37 – “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’”
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• Psalm 51:10 – “Create in me a clean heart, O God…”
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🧠 Core Takeaway:

What I call “small” obedience might be the very thing God’s waiting on to unlock everything else.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E7a — Lord, make me into a man whose yes is yes and no is no—even when no one sees it but You.

Title: A specific line for the marginalized

Description:

Just a short follow-up to this morning's episode. After running my transcript through GPT and Groq, an idea bubbled up: What if I launched a specific line of merch where 100% of profits go to the marginalized? That way I can explore obedience, generosity, and structure without blowing the whole system up. It might be the middle path.

I talk about:

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• Using GPT and Groq to help clarify direction
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• The idea of a focused merch line with 100% of profits donated
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• Why this feels like a manageable compromise
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• The next steps of discernment and conversations before launching
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “You know me, I did my little Chumb transcript into Chataputee…”

00:18 – Groq's idea: a dedicated merch line for the marginalized

00:30 – “I like that idea a lot. Gonna experiment with that.”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Maybe the answer is not all or nothing—maybe it’s one specific stream set aside to give it all away.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E6b — A focused line for the marginalized might be the win-win I’ve been praying for.

Title: Do I give it all away?

Description:

It’s 6:05 AM on July 5th. I’m walking through morning dew in Delhi, still glowing from yesterday’s amazing Fourth of July with family, fireworks, and freedom. My kids had a blast, and that fills my tank. But today’s episode isn’t about celebration—it’s about the internal war I woke up to. I’m torn between launching Crumb as a for-profit ministry with radical generosity or giving 100% of merch profits away through Merch for the Marginalized. I process the tension between stewardship, trust, and the fear of being perceived as greedy or gimmicky.

I talk about:

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• Why I’m so grateful for July 4th in America
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• A hilarious moment where someone thought we lived on a cruise ship
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• How I’m wired as a risk-taker vs. my dad’s long-game financial wisdom
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• My battle between making money and giving everything away
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• The dream that pushed me to consider 100% donation profits
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• The deeper prayer wrestling over how to launch Crumb faithfully
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Beautiful sunrise here in Delhi… yesterday was the Fourth of July”

03:50 – The dream that woke me up with a question: should I give 100% away?

08:25 – Wrestling with entrepreneurship vs. obedience

12:40 – “I just want to do You, God”

15:50 – “Is this ADHD or divine?”

18:15 – Processing my dad’s financial legacy and long-game mentality

23:10 – “We’re exposed financially… and I don’t want to blow this”

28:40 – A trail of deer mid-recording

30:00 – Full, raw prayer: “Please show me what to do with all of this…”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

If Crumb ever works, I want people to see the trail that led here—obedience, uncertainty, prayer, and surrender.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E6a — All of these are crumbs. And they’re all Yours.

Title: God bless America

Description:

It’s July 4th, 11:35 AM, and I’m recording this real quick on my way to grab a protein shake before two big family parties—one at my in-laws' with pool and fireworks, and one later at Western Hills Country Club. I didn’t plan a deep message today, but I can’t help reflecting on how grateful I am to live in this country. After spending the last year in a third-world nation and heading back soon, I just see it differently. We have so much to be thankful for, and the path to freedom—true freedom—comes through faith in Jesus.

I talk about:

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• My two big family parties on July 4th
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• The beauty of Cincinnati weather today
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• Why living abroad reshaped how I see America
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• The unseen war behind all the culture wars
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• Freedom as faith: walking toward Jesus is winning
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• The truth that love—real love—is sacrifice
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “I feel like a radio announcer today…”

01:05 – Fireworks, pool parties, and gratitude

02:20 – “After living in a third world country…”

04:10 – Why America still has more unity than we think

05:30 – Freedom begins with faith in Jesus

07:00 – “If you’re wrestling with Jesus… you’re winning”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Freedom isn’t just a political idea—it’s walking daily toward the light, toward Jesus.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E5 — We were made by love, for love, with love… and only a Christlike love can hold this country together.

Title: You can’t help everybody, and that sucks

Description: It’s July 3, 11:10 AM. Just left a walk with my buddy Dan at Fernbank Park and reflecting on a hard update about Mansaray. I’ve been torn for weeks about whether or not to keep helping him—and after talking with Said and Pastor Vince, I’ve finally found peace in drawing a line. We talk about obedience versus enabling, boundaries in the Kingdom, and why discernment is just as holy as sacrifice. Plus, I reflect on my friendship with Dan and the beauty of walking with brothers who sharpen you without explanation.

I talk about:

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• The final decision to block Mansaray and why it was so hard
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• Said’s perspective from 10 years working with Beach Boys
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• Scriptural filters for discerning when to stop helping
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• My old pattern of sacrificing past the point of wisdom
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• The importance of boundaries even when love still exists
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• A beautiful walk and honest moment with my friend Dan
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Just left the shelter, heading over the 75/71 bridge, mind racing…”

04:50 – When does helping become enabling? (Said’s blunt insight)

09:15 – Vince’s story & the Glenn flashback: empathy vs. manipulation

16:30 – Biblical filters: Jesus gave freely, but not blindly

23:10 – Red flags: erosion of peace, chronic excuses, no spiritual hunger

29:20 – “I can’t help everybody. And that just sucks.”

34:40 – Recap of Fernbank Park walk with Dan — friendship without pretense

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Matthew 18:22 – “Forgive seventy times seven…”

Matthew 7:6 – “Do not cast your pearls before swine…”

2 Thessalonians 3:10 – “If a man will not work, he shall not eat”

Proverbs 26:11 – “As a dog returns to its vomit…” (implied)

Luke 18:22-23 – “Jesus let the rich young ruler walk away”

John 10:11 – “The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep” (implied contrast)

🧠 Core Takeaway:

We’re called to love, but not to be a crutch. Even Jesus walked away sometimes.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E4 — I’m not Jesus. I’m just a vessel. And sometimes the most loving thing I can do is let go.

Title: When do you stop helping someone?

Description:

Just left the Northern Kentucky Emergency Shelter after another round of homeless outreach. I’ve been talking with Pastor Vince and wrestling with the same tension I’ve had with Mansaray—when do you stop helping someone? When do you walk away? I’ve seen this in coaching, in ministry, in life: if you want it more than they do, what’s your biblical obligation? I know Jesus said to forgive 77 times, but He also said not to cast your pearls before swine. Where’s the line? That’s what I’m asking today.

I talk about:

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• An update on Mansaray and my plan to block him
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• Lessons from talking to Pastor Vince and Said
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• The tension between mercy, wisdom, and boundaries
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• The weariness of pouring into someone who won’t drink
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• Biblical questions I want answered—where’s the red line?
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• Whether fruitlessness or resistance warrants stepping back
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Leaving the shelter, still wrestling

01:35 – “How do you biblically know when to stop helping someone?”

03:10 – Forgiveness vs. boundaries: are they at odds?

04:30 – The line between pouring out in love and wasting energy

05:50 – “I’ve never asked ChatGPT this with Scripture in mind…”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Matthew 18:22 – “Forgive seventy times seven…”

Matthew 7:6 – “Do not cast your pearls before swine…”

Proverbs 26:11 – “As a dog returns to its vomit…” (implied in the theme)

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Love is unconditional, but help is not. Discernment is part of obedience.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E3c — I’m not looking for an excuse to walk away—I’m looking for the line that honors Jesus.

Title: Deploy me, deploy me, deploy me

Description:

July 2 continues. This is part two of my big post-blue-truck brain dump. I go deeper into what Crumb actually is: a daily digital invitation into a spiritual war most people don’t know they’re in. I’m building this for the broken, the curious, and the committed—and I’m using every tool I’ve got to make Jesus impossible to ignore. If we’re going to challenge the algorithm, we better show up with truth, light, and a better story. This is that story.

I talk about:

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• Why Crumb avoids churchy formulas and instead builds digital discipleship with dignity
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• The ecosystem of tools, PDFs, brotherhoods, and fire-starting content
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• Daily decisions as spiritual “championships” in a world at war
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• Real talk about money, ministry, provision, and my own wiring
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• The metaphor of teams, coaches, benchwarmers, and injuries in Kingdom life
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• Why eternity is the real scoreboard—and conscience is your daily referee
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• My core mission: help you offer one more crumb to Jesus today
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “How do we draft people into this? Because the algorithm is discipling better than the church.”

06:45 – Teams, coaches, injuries, and daily battle metaphors in the Kingdom of God

14:05 – “Rules of the game: don’t quit. Offer a crumb. Stay in it.”

18:55 – Benchwarmers, All-Stars, referees, and the real war for your soul

24:30 – “If you’ve got no reverent awe of the Lord, you’ve got no wisdom.”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Matthew 25:40 – “Whatever you did for the least of these… you did for me”

Proverbs 9:10 – “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”

John 10:10 – “The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy…” (implied)

Galatians 6:9 – “Let us not grow weary in doing good…” (core principle throughout)

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Your life is a championship. Offer your crumb today. Let God multiply it.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E3b — Stay in the game. Keep offering crumbs. Never quit.

Title: I’m just trying to leave a trail of breadcrumbs

Description: July 2. It’s early, and I’m still pouring everything out. Today is a behind-the-scenes brain dump—a firehose of strategy, conviction, confession, and vision for CRUMB. I talk through the actual digital ecosystem we’re building and the responsibility I feel for it to disciple, challenge, and invite people into daily transformation. This one’s not polished. It’s raw. It's unfiltered. But it’s me, co-creating with God in real time.

I talk about:

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• What a true CRUMB digital ecosystem could look like
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• Why every platform and product should offer real value and real invitation
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• Building behavior modification into discipleship without control
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• The drama of following Jesus in a distracted world
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• How Crumb is designed to reach skeptics, seekers, and soldiers at once
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• My wrestling with monetization, ministry, and daily surrender
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• Deep ideas about choke points, boiling points, power dynamics, and private battles
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “You’re an absolute psycho if you’re still listening... but here we go”

04:10 – CRUMB as a frictionless digital ecosystem designed to invite and disciple

11:45 – Building in behavior modification like sanctification, one percent at a time

18:30 – The spiritual war, identity drama, and letting go of worldly images

25:10 – Choke points, boiling points, and power dynamics in digital discipleship

33:40 – How do we draft people in and keep them there—without manipulation?

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

2 Corinthians 3:18 – “...being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory” (implied)

Hebrews 5:12–14 – “Stop drinking milk, start chewing meat” (referenced)

Luke 9:23 – “Take up your cross daily and follow me” (implied as daily death theme)

Matthew 28:19 – “Go and make disciples…” (in spirit of Crumb’s digital mission)

🧠 Core Takeaway:

If you can follow Jesus daily through distraction, drama, and denial—you can change the world.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E3a — I want my life to be a living testimony, not a testimonial.

Title: I don’t have any good answers right now

Description: It’s July 1st, and I’m sitting outside a packed Starbucks after a long day at the zoo. I gave Mansaray—a young man from Sierra Leone—his first video call, and now I’m wrestling. He asked for about $450 USD to pay for school fees. I’m torn. I don’t know if he’s telling the truth. I don’t know if giving would help or hurt him. And I don’t know what God is asking of me yet. But I’m here. Processing. Trying to walk slow, pray deep, and obey without forcing anything.

I talk about:

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• My video call with Mansaray, a beach boy from Sierra Leone
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• His request for help and my uncertainty about how to respond
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• The challenge of discernment in cross-cultural giving
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• My internal pull between obedience, wisdom, and fear
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• Being invited into deeper rest—and feeling the effects
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• Struggling to balance motivation with peace
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• Just trying to let God lead, without pushing the outcome
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Post-BMV reflections, tired and conflicted

02:30 – Mansaray’s $450 school fee request and the risks involved

05:45 – “What if I take him on as a mentor?”

07:10 – Weighing generosity vs. enabling

08:45 – “I’ve been living more relaxed… but less productive”

10:00 – Wrestling with rest, drive, and what God actually wants

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Matthew 25:44–45 – “When did we see you hungry or thirsty…?” (implied)

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Sometimes obedience looks like not having the answer yet—but still showing up.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E2 — I don’t know what to do yet, but I’m listening.

Title: I follow a God who can do all things—so why do I get to choose when I don’t give?

Description:

Welcome to Season Two. I don’t totally know what’s changing, but something is. I’m no longer just working out my own mess with God—I feel like we’re stepping into something together. And it starts with obedience. Today, I confess the tension I’ve been feeling about ignoring messages from young men in Africa asking for help—some real, some maybe not. But I can’t ignore the conviction anymore. If I say I’m here to mentor young men, I can’t choose the convenient ones.

I talk about:

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• Why I messaged a boy from Sierra Leone after 17 ignored calls
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• A second connection I regret possibly missing for good
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• The tension between wisdom, boundaries, and obedience
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• The fear of being scammed vs. the fear of ignoring Jesus
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• Why Season 2 feels like God saying “Okay, let’s do this together”
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• Honest regret over missing opportunities to love like Jesus
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “This is the start of Season Two”

01:00 – 17 missed calls from Monterey—and what I finally said

04:45 – A second young man who disappeared before I could respond

07:30 – “What if he was real? What if I missed it?”

10:20 – Wrestling with Jesus’s words: “When did we see you hungry?”

12:00 – “Season 2 isn’t about fixing me. It’s about following Him.”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

Matthew 25:35–40 – “When did we see you hungry…?”

Philippians 2:12 – “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling”

Luke 6:30 – “Give to everyone who asks of you…” (implied wrestling)

🧠 Core Takeaway:

If you say you want to help—especially in Jesus’s name—don’t ignore the ones He sends.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional S2E1 — Alarm bells, wake up. The ones I claim to care about are already calling.

Title: You were worth the cost

Description:

This is a call. A plea. A moment for anyone who’s made it this far and still isn’t sure if Jesus is real. I read one more line from “Sons and Daughters” by Iron Bell Music—“I saw you. You were lost. You were worth the cost.” If you’re wrestling, if you’re wondering, if you’ve never fully surrendered—this might be your moment. Don’t ignore it.

I talk about:

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• One final lyric from the song that keeps wrecking me
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• An open call to anyone still on the fence about Jesus
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• Why this message might be your sign
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• What to do if you feel a tug on your heart
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• Encouragement to get on your knees and ask Him in
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💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “You were worth the cost” — lyric from Sons and Daughters

00:45 – Speaking directly to those who don’t know Jesus

01:15 – “Take this as the sign, my brother or sister…”

02:10 – Final plea: go listen to that song, then ask Him in

📖 Scriptures Referenced: