Reflect on emotional sobriety, resilience, and pray a prayer of generosity.

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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In this brief year-end message, Josh reflects on accomplishing a lifelong dream of writing a book and shares his experiences from the past year. He takes a moment to express gratitude to his clients and followers, recounts key professional milestones, including launching a counseling center and recording wisdom-filled content, and encourages listeners to reflect on their own growth. As the year closes, Josh offers inspiring insights for the year ahead and teases exciting future projects, including updates on his book and new initiatives.

00:00 Reflecting on a Lifelong Dream

01:03 Navigating Challenges and Offering Support

02:05 Achievements and Milestones of 2024

03:14 Looking Ahead to 2025

03:54 Final Thoughts and Holiday Wishes

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of The Flourishing Way, a team of professionals specializes in helping couples overcome selfish sexual behavior and betrayal. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

This episode, titled 'Words of Wisdom 142: On Directions and Destinations,' emphasizes the importance of having a clear purpose and strong perseverance. Josh explains that purpose dictates direction while perseverance determines destination. Josh urges listeners to avoid quick fixes, be patient, resilient, and strive for their highest purpose through sacrificial generosity. Inspirational quotes from Shane Parrish and Theodore Roosevelt are included to reinforce these points. The episode also provides reflective questions to help listeners evaluate their purpose, standards of excellence, and actions. You are called to embrace your challenges and pursue your highest calling with wisdom and perseverance.

00:00 Introduction: Words of Wisdom 142

00:05 Maxim: Purpose and Perseverance

01:01 Quotes to Inspire

02:18 Reflective Questions

02:46 Conclusion: Embrace Your Challenges

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Shane Parrish, ​Clear Thinking​

Theodore Roosevelt, Full speech ​here​.

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n this episode of Words of Wisdom, the focus is on guiding principles of discipleship, as presented by Josh. The key points discussed include the relational nature of discipleship, which requires intentional time, patience, and love. Six guiding principles are outlined: 1) Pursue presence by maintaining a close connection with God, 2) Joyfully surrender to God's will, 3) Intentionally reflect through deep thought and community learning, 4) Embodied worship by honoring God with our physical bodies and actions, 5) Courageously connect by fostering deep, trusting relationships, and 6) Generously serve others with selflessness and humility. Questions for reflection and journaling are also suggested to deepen one's spiritual journey and discipleship practice.

00:00 Introduction to Discipleship

00:21 Understanding Discipleship

00:43 Guiding Principles Overview

01:00 Principle 1: Pursue Presence

01:55 Principle 2: Joyfully Surrender

02:26 Principle 3: Intentionally Reflect

03:13 Principle 4: Embodied Worship

04:28 Principle 5: Courageously Connect

05:36 Principle 6: Generously Serve

06:15 Inspirational Quotes

06:58 Reflective Questions

07:37 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Read the podcast at wisecraft.org

Henri Nouwen, Finding My Way Home​

Jon Tyson, A Creative Minority​

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Words of Wisdom 140: On False Empowerment

In this episode, Josh explores the concept of false empowerment and its potential pitfalls. Reflecting on experiences of pain, trauma, and rejection, he discusses how the ego can drive change in destructive ways. Josh emphasizes the dangers of weaponizing boundaries and living from a place of resentment, explaining the importance of surrendering to God for true, healthy transformation. He includes teachings from Jesus in Matthew 7 and insights from Richard Rohr to underline the value of humility, letting go, and unlearning. The episode concludes with reflective questions to guide prayers and journaling on ways to avoid false empowerment and genuinely depend on God.

00:00 Introduction to False Empowerment

00:11 The Dangers of False Empowerment

00:29 The Ego's Role in False Empowerment

00:52 Weaponizing Boundaries and Seeking Justice

01:16 The Consequences of False Empowerment

01:21 Spiritual Teachings on Surrender

01:52 Practical Steps to True Empowerment

02:31 Biblical Wisdom on Judgment

03:30 Reflections and Questions

04:09 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Richard Rohr, ​Breathing Underwater: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps​

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In this episode, Josh explores five reflections on love and breaking generational wounds. Key ideas include making the unseen visible by allowing others in, learning to connect through surrender, and the importance of receiving love to be able to give it. Josh emphasizes the complexities of love, which involves valuing, sacrificing, serving, and sometimes disagreeing. Quotes from Terry Real and Pia Melody highlight the importance of facing generational pathology and recognizing inherent worth in oneself and others. The episode concludes with reflective questions encouraging listeners to embrace God’s love, break generational cycles, and live wisely.

00:00 Introduction: Reflections on Love and Generational Wounds

00:09 Understanding Love: Letting Others In and Surrendering

00:23 The Essence of Love: Receiving and Giving

01:04 Marriage: A Path to Selflessness and Intimacy

01:26 Quotes on Generational Healing and Intimacy

02:43 Reflective Questions: Embracing Love and Breaking Cycles

03:20 Conclusion: Living Wisely with Love

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Pia Mellody, ​The Intimacy Factor​

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n this episode of Words of Wisdom, Josh emphasizes the profound impact of prioritizing time in God's presence, particularly by waking early to connect with Him. He argues that this practice can significantly enhance one's life by fostering inner peace and spiritual strength. Key points include the importance of presence before power, the focus on making God famous over personal fame, and the pursuit of worship over pleasure. The episode also features quotes from Saint Seraphim of Seraph and A. W. Tozer, and includes reflective questions to help integrate these practices into daily life.

00:00 Introduction: The Power of Presence

00:05 Morning Routine: Wake Early

00:18 Prioritizing God's Presence

00:51 Pursue Presence Over Power

01:19 Becoming a Peacemaker

01:42 Inspirational Quotes

02:08 Reflective Questions

02:54 Conclusion: The Value of Presence

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Breaking the Cycle: The Flywheel of Disconnection and the Power of Connection

In 'Words of Wisdom 137,' Josh explores the essential role of connection in human flourishing. He introduces the concept of the 'disconnection flywheel,' explaining how disconnection from God, oneself, and others perpetuates a cycle of isolation and sin. Josh outlines a pathway to breaking this cycle through awareness, self-honesty, and authentic engagement with others, eventually creating a 'flywheel of connection' that leads to restoration and growth. Featuring quotes from Mother Teresa and Diedrich Bonhoeffer, the episode concludes with reflective questions to guide personal journaling and prayer.

00:00 Introduction: The Power of Connection

00:58 Understanding the Disconnection Flywheel

01:53 Breaking Free: The Path to Connection

02:53 Quotes on Connection and Isolation

03:34 Reflective Questions for Personal Growth

04:06 Final Thoughts: Embrace Connection

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Connection to God​

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, ​Life Together​

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Words of Wisdom 136: Paths to Becoming Truly Wise

In this episode, Josh emphasizes the importance of seeking wisdom as the most valuable investment one can make. Wisdom, described as virtuous skill in living, helps ensure a fulfilling and secure life. Josh provides practical advice on how to cultivate wisdom, including stopping evil, embracing good, confessing daily, reading great books, living without secrets, praying continually, expanding one’s vision of God, practicing gratitude, seeking simplicity, and serving others. Inspired by quotes from Socrates and Dorothy Day, Josh challenges listeners to reflect on how the wisest person they know would approach life and to use specific questions as journal prompts and prayer guides. The episode concludes by urging listeners to commit to walking a path of wisdom and virtue.

00:00 Introduction to Wisdom

00:38 Steps to Grow in Wisdom

01:23 Inspirational Quotes

02:04 Reflective Questions

02:26 Conclusion and Commitment

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Socrates, as quoted in ​Plato's Apology​

Dorothy Day, ​Loaves and Fishes​

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Understanding Addiction Recovery: A Comprehensive Insight

In this episode of 'Words of Wisdom,' Josh explores the complex nature of addiction and its various dimensions, including psychological, physiological, narrative, and spiritual aspects. He differentiates between habits and addictions, emphasizing the profound impact of addiction on one's life and relationships. Josh also highlights the importance of seeking help, sharing insights from experts like Dr. Gabor Mate and Patrick Carnes. Reflecting on personal control over behaviors and understanding addiction can be the first steps toward recovery and a life of flourishing.

00:00 Introduction to Understanding Addiction

00:42 Exploring the Concept of Addiction

01:15 The Four Levels of Addiction

01:56 Habits vs. Addictions: A Deep Dive

02:42 The Devastating Impact of Addiction

03:26 Understanding the Purpose and Control of Addiction

05:00 Seeking Help and Recovery from Addiction

05:19 Expert Insights on Addiction

06:39 Reflective Questions and Conclusion

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Dr. Gabor Maté, renowned addiction expert and author of ​In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts​

Patrick J. Carnes, considered the grandfather of sex addiction treatment, ​Out of the Shadows​

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In 'Words of Wisdom 134: On the Paradox of Crisis', Josh explores the four main stages of life—chaos, crisis, healing, and flourishing. He discusses how people often live in a cycle of chaos and crisis, lacking hope and resilience. Josh explains that escaping this turmoil usually involves enduring a difficult crisis, characterized by intense pain and suffering, which can either lead to deeper darkness or become an opportunity for radical transformation and spiritual awakening. He emphasizes the importance of seeking skilled discipleship and surrendering to God during a crisis. Quotes from Lorenzo Scupoli and John Cassian are used to underscore the concept of spiritual warfare and returning to God. Reflective questions are provided to help listeners identify areas of chaos and crisis in their lives and encourage them to turn to God for guidance.

00:00 Navigating Life's Stages: From Chaos to Flourishing

01:03 The Paradox of Crisis: A Path to Transformation

01:43 Embracing the Crisis for Spiritual Awakening

02:37 The Power of Discipleship and Surrender

03:11 Finding Opportunity in Adversity

03:26 Inspirational Quotes to Guide You

04:03 Self-Reflection: Questions for Personal Growth

04:38 A Final Word of Encouragement

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Read the full episode here.

Lorenzo Scupoli (16th century priest), ​Unseen Warfare​

John Cassian (5th century monk), ​The Conferences​

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In this episode of Words of Wisdom, Josh explores the themes of creativity, wisdom, and creating purposeful spaces in our lives. Josh begins with how creativity involves collecting and connecting ideas, emphasizing the importance of developing a system to gather ideas that ignite curiosity and the necessity of consistent creation to enhance independent thinking. The conversation then shifts to the analogy of knowledge being like a seed, underscoring the idea that knowledge must be applied to be truly valuable, similar to how a seed must grow to bear fruit. Additionally, Josh touches on the significance of organizing our living spaces to reflect meaning, beauty, or joy, inspired by notable quotes from Steve Jobs and Charles Spurgeon on creativity and wisdom. Josh concludes with reflective questions aimed at prompting listeners to consider the wisdom they are cultivating and to motivate them to act on their knowledge, thereby gifting their future selves with wisdom. This episode serves as a profound reminder of the power of creativity, the active use of knowledge, and the importance of intentional living spaces in our journey towards wisdom.

00:00 Introduction to Creativity and Wisdom

00:09 The Power of Creativity: Collecting and Connecting Ideas

00:39 The Essence of Knowledge: Growing Seeds into Trees

01:02 Creating Purposeful Spaces: A Home for Everything

01:10 Inspirational Quotes on Creativity and Wisdom

02:06 Reflective Questions for Personal Growth

02:35 Concluding Thoughts: Living Wisely

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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​connecting ideas

develop a system​ 

Consistently create​ 

​think for yourself​

Take ​meaningful action​

Charles Spurgeon, in ​The Quotable Spurgeon​

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Building Self-Control: The Path to Personal Resilience

In this episode, Josh dives into the importance of self-control using the analogy of a city wall, referencing Proverbs 25:28. He shares his personal journey of seeking God's help not just to eliminate desires but to develop self-control as a foundational character stone alongside faith, integrity, courage, love, and knowledge. Josh emphasizes that self-control is essential for withstanding life's challenges, drawing from observations of Proverbs 25:28. He discusses the defensive and protective nature of self-control, warning that a lack thereof can lead to destruction, either quickly or over years. The episode stresses the importance of preparation and growth in self-control, even during peaceful times, for overall flourishing and safety. It concludes with quotes from Oswald Chambers and Leon Trotsky on the nature of battle and self-control, followed by reflective questions to encourage personal growth and reliance on God's strength.

00:00 Introduction to Self Control and Spiritual Growth

01:01 Exploring Proverbs 25-28: Insights on Self Control

02:12 Inspirational Quotes on Will and Warfare

02:43 Reflective Questions for Personal Growth

03:17 Closing Thoughts: Embracing Resilience and Wisdom

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Oswald Chambers, ​My Utmost for His Highest​

Leon Trotsky, Quoted in Michael Walzer, ​Just and Unjust Wars: A Moral Argument with Historical Illustrations​

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Today in 'Words of Wisdom 131 On Desperation for God,' underscores the importance of acknowledging our helplessness without God, drawing on the poignant plea from Psalm 130 verse 1. It emphasizes that turning to God is not a mere lifestyle choice but a fundamental need, likening it to a rebel finally surrendering to the only king who can offer true freedom. Josh highlights the infinite gap only God can bridge, bringing us from desperation to soulful rest and empowerment. It cites quotes from Richard Rohr and Augustine of Hippo, reflecting on the transformative power of God's love and the deep yearning for His presence, before concluding with reflective questions aimed at encouraging listeners to examine their own reliance on God's strength. Ultimately, the Josh conveys that our desperate need for God is not a predicament but an invitation to a life filled with soul-satisfying love.

00:00 The Cry of Desperation: Seeking God in the Depths

00:41 Surrendering to God: Beyond Self-Help and Life Hacks

01:12 Bridging the Gap: The Almighty's Role in Our Lives

01:41 The Psalmist's Cry: A Turning Point Towards God's Mercy

02:10 Inspirational Quotes: The Power of God's Love to Transform

02:35 Augustine's Confession: A Heartfelt Longing for God

03:41 Reflective Questions: Examining Our Dependence on God

04:20 Concluding Thoughts: Embracing Our Need for God

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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You are ​powerless​ and need God

Richard Rohr, ​Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life​

Augustine of Hippo, ​Confessions​

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This episode delves into the complex confusion of modern times, highlighting the contradictions in modern man's pursuit of rights without responsibilities, the loss of fundamental understanding of morality, and the misconceptions about relationships and truth. Through a compelling metaphor of a pilot navigating a jet fighter, it illustrates the disorientation and challenges faced by individuals and society in discerning moral truths amidst high-speed changes and secular influences. Josh quotes from Dallas Willard and Canon B. F. Westcott, stressing the impact of ideas and the diluted power of the gospel in contemporary life. It concludes with thought-provoking questions aimed at self-reflection on the creation of goodness, the balance between truth and harmony in relationships, and the importance of a wise, curious, and responsible approach to life's complexities.

00:00 Introduction: Navigating Modern Confusion

00:06 Exploring Modern Man's Confusion

01:06 Insights Through Quotes

03:12 Reflective Questions for Personal Growth

03:46 Concluding Thoughts: Wisdom for the Journey

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Dallas Willard, ​Divine Conspiracy​

B.F. Westcott, ​The Gospel of the Resurrection​

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Finding True Belonging Through Integrity.

In this episode, we explore the essential connection between integrity and a genuine sense of belonging. I share insights on how lacking integrity can affect our depth of belonging and the stability of our lives, regardless of whether others are aware of our shortcomings. Drawing on my experiences with clients and referencing authors like Michael Dye and Derek Sivers, I delve into the importance of facing our failures and choosing to surrender to God as the first steps towards recovering personal integrity. The discussion underscores the role of the Holy Spirit in highlighting our destructive patterns and the power of discipline in turning our intentions into action. The episode wraps up with a series of reflective questions designed to prompt deeper self-examination and guide listeners towards making disciplined, integrity-driven choices in their daily lives.

Timestamps

00:00 The Quest for Integrity: A Deep Dive

01:31 The Path to Recovering Integrity

02:17 Embracing the Holy Spirit's Role in Transformation

02:52 The Importance of Discipline in Personal Growth

03:26 Self-Reflection: Questions to Guide Your Journey

04:02 Closing Thoughts: The Power of Integrity

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Michael Dye, ​The Genesis Process​

Derek Sivers, ​How to Live​

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Exploring Sexual Minimalism: A Middle Path to Flourishing

This episode introduces the concept of sexual minimalism, positioning it as a middle ground between indulgence and repression of sexual desire. It discusses minimalism in the context of material possessions and online activities before delving into sexual minimalism. The approach emphasizes intentional engagement with sexual desire, aiming for simplicity, service, and holistic flourishing within a biblical worldview. Sexual minimalism is portrayed as a way to declutter the mind, improve relational intimacy, and foster discipline across life's aspects. The script includes practical questions for reflection on sexual minimalism's challenges and the beliefs that must be relinquished to embrace it. Key quotes from Apostle Paul and Thomas Chalmers underscore the discussion's moral and spiritual dimensions.

00:00 Introduction to Minimalism and Its Variants

00:55 Unveiling Sexual Minimalism: A New Philosophy

01:02 The Extremes of Sexual Desire: Control vs. Indulgence

01:58 The Essence and Principles of Sexual Minimalism

02:29 The Biblical Roots of Sexual Minimalism

03:05 The Benefits of Embracing Sexual Minimalism

03:47 Inspirational Quotes on Desire and Discipline

04:55 Reflective Questions and Conclusion

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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The Expulsive Power of a New Affection, by Thomas Chalmers

Cal Newport, ​Digital Minimalism

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Cultivating Wisdom and the Power of Rest

This episode delves into the importance of being mindful of our internal scripts, the distinction between wisdom and knowledge, and the significance of being intentional in our actions.

00:00 Introduction: Embracing Wisdom and Internal Scripts

00:09 The Power of Internal Scripts: Shifting Perspectives

00:49 Understanding Wisdom: Beyond Knowledge

01:11 The Essence of Intentionality and Meaningful Action

01:51 The Importance of Rest and Solitude

02:55 Reflection and Questions for Personal Growth

03:34 Concluding Thoughts: The Cycle of Effort and Rest

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Wisdom​

Take meaningful action

Slow​ down.

​Reflect​ in ​silence​.

Seek cycles of extraordinary ​effort​ and deep ​rest​ so that you can ​flourish​.

Ethan Hawke, ​Rules for a Knight

John Ortberg, ​Soul Keeping

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Embracing Transformation Through Surrender to God

In today's episode Josh discusses the profound impact of surrendering to God, highlighting how this state of surrender ensures presence, willingness, and acceptance in one's life.

00:00 Embracing Surrender: The Path to Transformation

02:33 The Power of Suffering and Love

03:20 Practices for Abiding in God's Presence

04:48 Reflections and Questions for a Deeper Faith

05:13 Closing Thoughts: The Essence of True Flourishing

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive Josh's weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Elizabeth Elliot, ​Suffering is Never for Nothing​

John Mark Comer, ​The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry​

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Transformation Through Suffering: Embracing Spiritual Rebirth

In this episode of the psychotherapy series, part three delves into the concept of transformation through suffering. Josh explores the idea that true transformation requires a change in thinking, feeling, and actions, but also emphasizes the spiritual and mysterious nature of change, likened to a 'spiritual rebirth' that originates from a divine source beyond the material world. Despite the efficacy of evidence-based treatment modalities in therapy, this episode underscores the indispensable role of spiritual awakening and relational processes in healing. It argues against solely focusing on ceasing specific behaviors or quieting suffering, advocating instead for drawing closer to Christ in times of suffering to see the world and oneself anew. The episode includes powerful quotes from St. John of the Cross as well as Richard Rohr about the radical mind shift ('metanoia') necessary for personal and social transformation, framing suffering not as an obstacle but as a pathway to deep spiritual growth and connection. The episode concludes with reflective questions to encourage listeners to surrender to God's control and embrace suffering as part of their transformation journey.

00:00 Introduction to Transformation through Suffering

00:22 The Mysterious Nature of Transformation

01:30 The Role of Love in Transformation

02:03 Suffering as a Path to Transformation

02:43 Inspirational Quotes on Transformation

03:14 Understanding Metanoia: A Fundamental Transformation

05:21 Reflection Questions for Personal Transformation

05:43 Conclusion: Embracing Suffering for Transformation

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist Josh helps people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

St. John of the Cross, The Dark Night, in The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross

Richard Rohr, The Wisdom Pattern

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Transformative Healing through Therapy: Unpacking Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions

In today's episode Josh explores the concept of transformative healing in psychotherapy, emphasizing the interconnectedness of thoughts, feelings, and actions in the process. He stresses that deep transformation is possible through the courageous application of truth and receiving God's love, underscoring the principle that our actions are rooted in our thoughts. He also highlights the importance of addressing and changing distorted thinking patterns, feelings, and actions to achieve holistic growth. Included are insights from Gabor Maté on healing and responsibility, as well as reflective questions designed to encourage self reflection and prayer.

00:00 Introduction to Transformation in Therapy

00:20 The Connection Between Thoughts and Actions

01:26 The Influence of Feelings on Thinking

01:57 The Healing Process in Therapy

02:25 The Power of Healing and Responsibility

03:05 Personal Experiences and Case Studies

03:41 Reflective Questions for Personal Growth

04:23 Conclusion: The Next Step of Growth

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal

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WoW 122: On what happens in therapy, Psychotherapy Series, Part 1 [Words of Wisdom]

This episode of our psychotherapy series kicks off with Josh sharing a profound respect for individuals undertaking psychotherapy, highlighting it as a brave inward journey towards wisdom and personal growth. Josh demystifies what transpires during therapy sessions regardless of the treatment modality, emphasizing elements such as rigorous honesty, discovery, feedback, and the importance of asking insightful questions. The narrative underscores the transformative potential of therapy when combined with the intentional practice of specific skills and the pursuit of virtue. Furthermore, he touches on the valuable role of a therapist's worldview, advocating for transparency and presenting a case for a Christian foundational approach. Finally, Josh encourages listeners to engage in self-reflection with thought-provoking questions, regardless of their engagement in psychotherapy.

00:00 Introduction to Psychotherapy

00:48 The Importance of Honesty in Therapy

01:40 The Role of Discovery in Therapy

02:34 The Power of Feedback in Therapy

03:07 The Impact of Questions in Therapy

03:37 The Practice of Specific Skills in Therapy

04:45 The Virtue of Growth in Therapy

05:32 The Christian Perspective in Therapy

07:14 The Importance of a Loving Presence in Therapy

08:14 Inspirational Quotes on Psychotherapy

10:23 Self-Reflection Questions

10:59 Conclusion: The Importance of Integrity and Wisdom

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

• Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

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an ​intentional​ path to grow in wisdom

it's​ not so obvious​ what actually happens in therapy

your ​suffering

give words​ to something that you’ve never been able to speak before

healing happens when you can speak out ​secrets

take ​meaningful action​

virtue is a ​power law

surrender your strongholds

Carl Rogers, Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

• Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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an ​intentional​ path to grow in wisdom

it's​ not so obvious​ what actually happens in therapy

your ​suffering

give words​ to something that you’ve never been able to speak before

healing happens when you can speak out ​secrets

take ​meaningful action​

virtue is a ​power law

surrender your strongholds

Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy​

Irving Yalom, Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrist's Memoir​

Footnotes

1 - Irving Yalom, The Gift of Therapy

2 - Galatians 5

3 - Karen Horney, Neurosis and Human Growth

4 - Carl Rogers, On Personal Power

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In today's episode Josh emphasizes that the worth of an individual cannot be influenced by any actions; it is irrefutably fixed in the heart of God, and no darkness of sin can erase his grace. The primary focus should be on one's own characters, such as faith, honesty, purity, love, courage, and knowledge. Our worth is fixed, the quality of our life, is not. The quality of our life and impact is determined through such virtues. Josh also discusses how righteousness and surrender to God's love leads to spiritual growth. He concludes by suggesting the importance of self-evaluation and investing in personal growth and virtue in one's life.

00:03 Introduction: Words of Wisdom

00:09 Understanding God's Unconditional Love

00:49 Valuing the Quality of Your Life

02:01 Inspirational Quotes

02:58 Reflective Questions

03:26 Closing Thoughts: Investing in Virtue

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Ryder Carroll, ​The Bullet Journal Method​

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In this episode Josh explores the concept of personal transformation, highlighting that it requires courageous action, prayer and faith. Josh emphasizes the importance of silence and stillness for personal growth, self-reflection and a deeper connection with God. He also references works from Elizabeth Elliot and Timothy Keller, focusing particularly on the teachings from Philippians chapter four. The philosophy of peace being not just the absence of fear but the feeling of protection and the presence of God himself is explained, challenging the typical approach to overcoming negative thoughts. These insights are presented with thought-provoking questions prompting self-reflection and journaling.

00:00 Introduction

00:00 The Speed of Transformation

00:28 Growing in Hope

00:51 The Power of Silence

01:28 Inspirational Quotes

02:02 Overcoming Anxiety and Fear

03:30 Self-Reflection Questions

03:56 Conclusion: Embracing God's Presence

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

Links

seeking deep ​transformation​

Surrender​ your heart to God

Seek the most​ meaningful target​

Take courageous ​action​

take time for quiet ​reflection​

sit in ​silence​

​victory​ ahead

Elizabeth Elliot, ​Through Gates of Splendor​

Timothy Keller, ​Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering​

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In this episode, the path to victory over personal struggles is explored with a focus on surrendering control to God. Taking time each morning to reflect and surrender uncertainties and fears can lead to a more peaceful existence. It also emphasizes on waiting and resting, and suggests that true courage often involves patient waiting and listening. The episode ends with some introspective questions intended to guide personal reflection and prayers.

00:00 Introduction to Achieving Victory

00:18 Understanding Your Struggles

00:38 The Power of Surrender

01:04 The Role of Courage and Patience

01:46 Inspirational Quotes and Verses

02:55 Reflective Questions for Personal Growth

03:14 Conclusion: The Path to Peace

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction.  www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Marcel Proust, ​Remembrance of Things Past​

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Words of Wisdom: Fighting Against Selfishness

Today's episode looks at the stronghold of selfishness and reminds us that flourishing involves shifting from vice to virtue. A key path to identify and surrender your strongholds is through intentional reflection and prayer. Focusing on selfishness, Josh suggests a structured prayer to help introspect, acknowledge, and overcome selfishness. The episode ends with inspirational quotes from The Spiritual Exercises by Ignatius of Loyola and The Little Minister by J.M. Barrie, as well as thought-provoking questions to guide reflections and prayers throughout the week.

00:00 Introduction to Fighting Against Selfishness

00:21 Understanding Your Strongholds

00:48 The Danger and Opportunity of Reflecting on Strongholds

01:04 The Power of Intentional Reflection and Prayer

01:29 Deep Dive into Selfishness

02:37 Praying Through Selfishness

04:01 Inspirational Quotes on Selfishness and Spiritual Growth

05:03 Self-Reflection Questions

05:24 Conclusion: Desire God Above All Else

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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​the 5 core strongholds​

Ignatius of Loyola, ​The Spiritual Exercises ​

J.M. Barrie, ​The Little Minister​

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Show notes

This podcast talks about the importance of wisdom, goals, and identity in shaping one's life, referring to best-selling author James Clear's book, 'Atomic Habits'. It addresses the concepts of habits, focusing on identity-based habits. It critiques Clear's work, suggesting that it does not delve deep enough into moral, ethical, and spiritual aspects. The script emphasizes the significance of spiritual growth, loving God, and aligning one's heart with His will for holistic transformation. It guides the audience towards seeking fulfillment in God's presence, implying the limited satisfaction from merely focusing on one's self and desires. The audience is urged to focus on heart-based habits instead of solely behavior-based ones.

00:00 Introduction to Heart-Based Transformation

00:26 Exploring the Concept of Atomic Habits

01:40 The Limitations of Atomic Habits

02:54 The Importance of Heart-Based Habits

03:49 The Power of Desire and Identity

04:14 The Dangers of Ignoring the Heart

05:19 The Role of Spiritual Dynamics in Behavior

05:43 The Power of God in Overcoming Addiction

06:49 The Importance of Seeking God

07:21 Conclusion: The Best Use of Your Will

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

Links

Read the full transcript of the episode and see the illustrations here.

James Clear, ​Atomic Habits​

​Alcoholics Anonymous​

Augustine of Hippo, ​Confessions​

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Words of Wisdom 116: On Commitments and Discipline.

The 116th episode of the Words of Wisdom series focuses on the role of commitments and discipline in personal development. It emphasizes that the quality of life is determined by the depth of one's commitments and discipline, with disciplineship and deep prayers being tools for sharpening oneself for their purpose. The episode highlights quotes from Aristotle and Steven Pressfield on virtue and professionalism, encouraging listeners to constantly strive towards desirable habits. It concludes with some introspection, asking listeners about their habits and areas they need to grow in, and how they can consistently practice improvement in these areas.

00:00 Introduction to Commitments and Discipline

00:06 The Power of Commitment and Discipline

00:37 Inspirational Quotes on Virtue and Discipline

01:36 The Role of Habits in Professionalism

02:00 Self-Reflection Questions on Discipline and Growth

02:26 Closing Thoughts on Goals and Daily Practices

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

Links

Ryan Holiday, ​Discipline is Destiny​

Steven Pressfield, ​Turning Pro​

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In episode 115, Josh speaks about the emotional labor involved in therapies like healing trauma and grieving. He emphasizes the need to intentionally confront the suffering by stepping into solitude and silence. This process, while challenging, leads to exponential growth and maturity. Solitude is a catalyst for transformation, revealing God's word in the individual's heart during times of trial. The material concludes by urging the listener to prioritize daily periods of silence and solitude in order to live wisely.

00:00 Introduction to Emotional Labor of Silence

00:06 The Importance of Therapy and Emotional Work

00:31 The Role of Silence in Emotional Healing

00:49 Facing Thoughts and Emotions in Silence

01:26 The Power of Solitude and Transformation

01:44 God's Word in Silence

02:04 Questions to Ponder

02:22 Invitation into Silence

02:26 Conclusion: Prioritizing Silence and Solitude

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

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Recovery​ is exhausting, yet a necessary suffering.

Becoming mature

Saying ​yes to difficulty​

Henri Nouwen, ​The Way of the Heart​

The classic AA book of meditations: ​Twenty Four Hours a Day​

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Sign up to hear about my book launch.

Do Deeper and follow my 5 days of guided prayers

https://www.theflourishingway.co/deeper

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Andrew Weil, MD Breathing: The Master Key to Self Healing

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In the podcast Josh discusses the theory of fear versus courage cycles. He explains how fear is a physiological and psychological response to perceived threats, and outlines different fear-based reactions including trying to control the threat, experiencing fear and worry, or freezing in response. He then introduces the concept of the courage cycle as a more positive and productive response mechanism, which leads to personal growth and improvement. This cycle includes responses such as taking responsibility, showing fortitude, and making self-sacrifices in challenging situations.Josh prompts listeners to reflect on their own reactions to fear and encourages them to adopt more courage-based responses in their daily lives.

00:00 Introduction to Fear and Courage

00:47 Fear in Relationships: The Fear of Rejection

01:19 The Fear Cycle: Triggers and Reactions

01:50 Fear-Based Reactions: Control, Worry, and Freezing

03:59 The Courage Cycle: An Introduction

04:47 Courageous Responses: Responsibility, Fortitude, and Self-Sacrifice

06:44 The Balance of Virtues: Courage, Love, and Prudence

07:05 Inspirational Quotes and Reflections on Mental Health

07:59 Self-Reflection Questions for Personal Growth

08:24 Conclusion: Surrender Your Fears and Feed the Courage Cycle

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Doris Kearns Goodwin, ​Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln​

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Today we explore insights into how 'power laws', often applied to investing in companies, are also applicable to personal virtues. Josh encourages investing one's time, action, and energy into cultivating virtues such as honesty, courage, love, and service. Comparing the virtues' growth to a company's growth over time, Josh suggests that the returns may not be immediately obvious but will yield significant results in the long run. You are invited to surrender to God, equating this to the ultimate investment. This analogy is reinforced with biblical quotes from Matthew 13 and the idea of virtue as a hidden treasure. Finally, the listener is invited to reflect on their own path to virtue and areas they need to address.

00:00 Introduction to Power Laws of Virtue

00:05 Investing in Companies and Power Laws

00:41 Applying Power Laws to Virtues

01:11 Investing in Virtue: A Comparison with Company Investment

01:42 The Power of Law Growth of Virtue

02:25 The Importance of Virtues in Life

02:43 Biblical References to Virtue and Investment

04:00 Reflection Questions on Virtue and Investment

04:28 Conclusion: Entrust Yourself to God

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Jesus, ​Matthew 13:45-46​

Jean Calvin, ​Institutes of the Christian Religion​

Who are you becoming?

Strongholds​

In case you missed it, if you're hoping to live a more purpose-filled life, I have a 10 post series on ​Meaningful Action​. Click the link and I'll send an email each day for the next 10 days.

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Josh imparts wisdom on determining what's essentially important over urgency, when it comes to both personal and professional growth. He emphasizes the mental model of the Eisenhower Matrix's and it's usefulness in sorting important, urgent, non-important, and non-urgent tasks, thus providing clarity and facilitating decision-making. The discussion encourages identifying practices and strategies that compound in the long run, which according to Josh, are key investments. The session ends with a call-to-action, urging listeners to actively apply the Eisenhower Matrix to effectively manage their day-to-day tasks and achieve their long-term goals.

00:00 Introduction to Prioritizing What's Important

00:12 The Challenge of Prioritizing Long-Term Goals

00:42 Understanding the Eisenhower Matrix

01:15 Applying the Eisenhower Matrix to Your Life

01:47 The Power of Compound Interest in Life

02:29 Practical Questions for Personal Growth

03:17 Conclusion: Applying the Eisenhower Matrix in Your Life

Read the entire episode here.

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

Links

See the Eisenhower Matrix and a full transcript of the podcast.

What is the ​most meaningful​ thing you can desire?

Naval Ravikant, in a tweetstorm from  ​May 31st, 2018​

James Clear, in his email newsletter from ​September 23rd, 2021​

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00:00 Introduction to Curiosity

00:09 The Power of Curiosity

00:44 The Role of Curiosity in Conversations

01:15 Growing Your Curiosity

01:34 Inspirational Quotes on Curiosity

02:02 Questions to Foster Curiosity

02:45 Practical Application of Curiosity

02:52 Conclusion: The Impact of Curiosity

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Curiosity means you can grow and experience ​powerful transformation​. 

Roland Lazenby, ​Michael Jordan: A Life​

Scott Berlin, ​The Dance of the Possible​

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Read the full transcript here.

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

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How you​ perceive​ something determines your reality. 

You can ​influence​ how you think.

Edward De Bono ​Thinking Course​

Margaret Wheatley, Forward of ​The World Café​

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00:06 Understanding What Truly Matters

01:00 The Power of Questions for Self-Discovery

01:14 The Role of Desire in Helping Others

01:43 Inspirational Quotes on Desire

02:49 Questions to Understand Your Desires

03:38 The Importance of Meaningful Action

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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Links

Loving and ​serving others​.

Learn to ask powerful questions. 

Tools for ​self discovery​.

Luke Burgis, ​Wanting​

James K.A. Smith, ​You Are What You Love​

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About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

Links

• C.S. Lewis' book ​The Chronicles of Narnia​
• Discover new ideas by ​identifying important problems​
• Powerful questions increase your ​influence​
• Identifying ​distorted thinking​ and grow in the virtue of living in true knowledge
• "Being curious puts you in a mindset to learn and grow. Curiosity turns every experience you face into an opportunity for growth. Learn to observe your thoughts and feelings with curiosity." WoW 50: On the way to life transformation
• Terry Winograd and Fernando Flores, ​Understanding Computers and Cognition​
• Suzanne Langer, ​Philosophy in a New Key​

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Show Notes

00:00 Introduction to Self-Discovery Questions

00:55 The Power and Benefits of Self-Discovery

02:28 Types of Questions Used in Self-Discovery

03:01 Implementing Self-Discovery Questions in Daily Life

04:00 The Role of Curiosity in Self-Discovery

04:40 Quotes on the Power of Questions

05:31 Invitation to Engage with Self-Discovery Questions

06:09 Closing Remarks

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

Links

When you feel something is wrong, pause. Take a breath and connect to ​what you are feeling​. 

Pastor Rustin and I give a 2 hour talk on ​spiritual strongholds and how they disrupt relationships​.

Being connected to your feelings is only part of ​awareness​. 

The best way to the deepest forms of awareness is to simply go ​deeper​ into a daily practice of prayer. 

Carl Rogers, ​A way of Being​

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• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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the ​core chaos cycle​

Uninvited​ by Lysa TerKeurst

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings​ by Maya Angelou

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About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

Links

To see the entire Recovery series, go ​here

SAA 3 Circles

the 5 Strongholds​

To see this podcast transcript and to see the core chaos cycle depicted visually, go here

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• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

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growing in awareness is critical in becoming less selfish

living behind the mask of the false self

improve your thinking by improving your inputs

develop specific small practices

Margaret Smith quoting Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite, The Way of the Mystics​

Luke Burgis, Wanting​

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About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

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Choosing ​Wise Heroes​

We all naturally ​want something for nothing

Margaret Smith quoting ​Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite​, ​The Way of the Mystics​

Luke Burgis, ​Wanting​

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About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

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the ​depths of your darkness​

connection to God​

humbly admitting​ mistakes

seeing ​vulnerability as strength

Henri Nouwen, ​The Way of the Heart​

SAA Fellowship, ​Sex Addicts Anonymous​

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• As a Psychoherapist I help people overcome their greatest struggles.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly email newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

Links

Commit to small practices

Stay ​flexible and passionately curious​

Your ​time​ is valuable. If something is not the best course of action, then it doesn’t matter how much time it cost you to get to this point, the most valuable thing you can do is free up your time, energy, attention, and money to invest yourself in a new direction.

Doris Kearns Goodwin, Team of Rivals

Jill Weber, Be Calm

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• Psychoherapist. Currently I'm seeing all clients via video Telehealth sessions.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. 

• Sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

---

In this episode of "Words of Wisdom," we look at the simple compounding power of small practices. Consistent, small practices lead to powerful results over time. We will explore the value of small practices and consider a few practical examples.

Links

WoW 065: On devotion to a practice

WoW 078: On developing a thinking practice (part 5 – knowledge workers series)

Reading more books

The importance of talking about your feelings

WoW 080: On consistency in your practice

Focusing your time

Robert Greene, Mastery​

Ryan Holiday, Discipline is Destiny​

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Links

Harry Emerson Fosdick, On Being a Real Person​

Max Ehrmann, ​The Desiderata of Happiness​

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• Marriage & Family Therapist, licensed in Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado. Currently I'm seeing all clients via video Telehealth sessions.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. Because sometimes traditional counseling is not enough.

• Founder of Wisecraft, giving tools and ideas to help you grow in wisdom. Learn more at www.wisecraft.org. Or go here to sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

• To learn about what I'm currently focused on in my life, go to my Now page.

Key Points:

- The quality of your life largely depends on the quality of your decisions, which are often influenced by the people around you.

- Growing in virtue requires facing personal pain, overcoming adversity, and moving towards a life of service.

- True heroes are those who possess a wealth of virtue, often exemplified through self-sacrifice for others.

- Continually striving for wisdom can deepen your desires, while pursuing foolishness makes them shallow.

- Having wise heroes can help identify right from wrong in terms of ethical actions and decisions.

References And Links:

1. Finite and Infinite Games by James P. Carse

2. Affect, Imagery, Consciousness by Sylvan Tompkins

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• Marriage & Family Therapist, licensed in Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado. Currently I'm seeing all clients via video Telehealth sessions.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. Because sometimes traditional counseling is not enough.

• Founder of Wisecraft, giving tools and ideas to help you grow in wisdom. Learn more at www.wisecraft.org. Or go here to sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

• To learn about what I'm currently focused on in my life, go to my Now page.

Key Points:

- How the next decade of your life unfolds will largely depend on the direction you choose to take.

- The two potential paths: becoming wise or becoming foolish.

- Following someone wise or smart and emulating them can cultivate self-discipline.

- The need for constant improvement as emphasized by James Clear, pointing out that each new effort or action doesn't rely on the success of the previous one.

- The importance of having consistent practices that promote personal growth and positively influence others.

- Reflecting on your own growth through journal prompts.

Links Mentioned:

1. Learning by Heart book by Sister Corita Kent

2. James Clear's email newsletter - January 28th, 2021

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• Marriage & Family Therapist. Focused on helping individuals connect with their deepest desires, overcome their greatest struggles, and experience intimacy.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. Because sometimes traditional counseling is not enough.

• Founder of Wisecraft, giving tools and ideas to help you grow in wisdom. Learn more at www.wisecraft.org. Or go here to sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

• To learn about what Josh is currently focused on in his life, go to his Now page.

In this episode, we delve into the lifelong journey towards goodness and maturity. We explore the themes of selfishness and the power of transformative actions focusing on the highest good. We also tackle the process of self-growth that begins with becoming aware of the darker, twisted parts of our soul and learning to surrender these to better serve others. We discuss how growing an awareness of yourself and others' pain can forge a deeper understanding, empathy, and a desire to help, leading to more meaningful actions.

Key Points:

- Interpretation of "evil" as choosing what's best for oneself at the expense of others.

- Interpretation of "good" as choosing what benefits others and enjoying that choice.

- Growing in maturity involves transforming your heart to regularly choose good, with joy.

- Essential to grow in awareness of evils within us like choosing selfishness, feeding resentment, believing & telling lies, chaotic feelings, and choosing self-preservation out of fear.

- We should aspire to grow awareness, empathy, forgiveness, compassion, etc., to function in a society effectively and meaningfully.

- The more our actions are rooted in kindness and selflessness, the more meaningful they become.

- Growing in self-awareness helps us turn away from what's evil and choose the highest good.

- The path of purity can be achieved through prayer, surrender, and confession, thus experiencing a deep transformation.

Links Mentioned:

- WoW 072: On the 5 Strongholds

- WoW 043: On darkness and desire

- WoW 057: On forgiveness

- WoW 061: On virtues

- WoW 083: On the narrow way

- WoW 065: On devotion to a practice

- C.G. Jung Letters, Volume 1

- Discipline is Destiny

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• Marriage & Family Therapist, licensed in Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado. Currently I'm seeing all clients via video Telehealth sessions.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. Because sometimes traditional counseling is not enough.

• Founder of Wisecraft, giving tools and ideas to help you grow in wisdom. Learn more at www.wisecraft.org. Or go here to sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

• To learn about what I'm currently focused on in my life, go to my Episode Summary:

In this episode, we delve into the lifelong journey towards goodness and maturity. We explore the themes of selfishness and the power of transformative actions focusing on the highest good. We also tackle the process of self-growth that begins with becoming aware of the darker, twisted parts of our soul and learning to surrender these to better serve others. We discuss how growing an awareness of yourself and others' pain can forge a deeper understanding, empathy, and a desire to help, leading to more meaningful actions.

Key Points:

- Interpretation of "evil" as choosing what's best for oneself at the expense of others.

- Interpretation of "good" as choosing what benefits others and enjoying that choice.

- Growing in maturity involves transforming your heart to regularly choose good, with joy.

- Essential to grow in awareness of evils within us like choosing selfishness, feeding resentment, believing & telling lies, chaotic feelings, and choosing self-preservation out of fear.

- We should aspire to grow awareness, empathy, forgiveness, compassion, etc., to function in a society effectively and meaningfully.

- The more our actions are rooted in kindness and selflessness, the more meaningful they become.

- Growing in self-awareness helps us turn away from what's evil and choose the highest good.

- The path of purity can be achieved through prayer, surrender, and confession, thus experiencing a deep transformation.

Links Mentioned:

- WoW 072: On the 5 Strongholds

- WoW 043: On darkness and desire

- WoW 057: On forgiveness

- WoW 061: On virtues

- WoW 083: On the narrow way

- WoW 065: On devotion to a practice

- C.G. Jung Letters, Volume 1

- Discipline is Destiny

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• Marriage & Family Therapist, licensed in Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado. Currently I'm seeing all clients via video Telehealth sessions.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. Because sometimes traditional counseling is not enough.

• Founder of Wisecraft, giving tools and ideas to help you grow in wisdom. Learn more at www.wisecraft.org. Or go here to sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

• To learn about what I'm currently focused on in my life, go to my Now page.

Key Points:

- The focus on keeping oneself happy in a marriage can lead to resentment, avoidance, and despair since partners cannot provide profound happiness.

- Making the partner happy as the foremost focus can be short-sighted and lead to a subservient position in the relationship.

- When each person focuses on loving and serving God, it allows for healthier intimacy.

- Prioritizing knowing and following God, along with seeking to serve him and do his will, is the proper use of will and encourages worship.

- Worship re-orients and recovers one's most authentic self. It empowers surrender, strengthens confession, and encourages transformation for respect and humility.

- Recovery is ultimately a deep connection with God, self, and others.

- Marriage is about two broken people finding healing, not completing each other. The friction exposes areas where God still needs to work in individuals.

Mentioned Links and References:

-WoW 089: On expectations and resentment, Recovery, part 6 [Words of Wisdom]

- WoW 084: On recovery, part 1 [Words of Wisdom]

- Josh Garells song, At the Table

- Loveology by John Mark Comer

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• Marriage & Family Therapist, licensed in Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado. Currently I'm seeing all clients via video Telehealth sessions.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. Because sometimes traditional counseling is not enough.

• Founder of Wisecraft, giving tools and ideas to help you grow in wisdom. Learn more at www.wisecraft.org. Or go here to sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

• To learn about what I'm currently focused on in my life, go to my Now page.

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• Marriage & Family Therapist, licensed in Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado. Currently I'm seeing all clients via video Telehealth sessions.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. Because sometimes traditional counseling is not enough.

• Founder of Wisecraft, giving tools and ideas to help you grow in wisdom. Learn more at www.wisecraft.org. Or go here to sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

• To learn about what I'm currently focused on in my life, go to my Now page.

About Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT

• Marriage & Family Therapist, licensed in Nevada, Arizona, and Colorado. Currently I'm seeing all clients via video Telehealth sessions.

•Founder and CEO of Great Oaks Collective, and it's flagship program Overcome, a 10-Week virtual Intensive Outpatient Program for Christian couples experiencing sexual betrayal and addiction. Learn more at www.greatoakscollective.com. Because sometimes traditional counseling is not enough.

• Founder of Wisecraft, giving tools and ideas to help you grow in wisdom. Learn more at www.wisecraft.org. Or go here to sign up to receive my weekly newsletter, Words of Wisdom. ​

• To learn about what I'm currently focused on in my life, go to my Now page.

The Words of Wisdom are brief reflections from Josh Kalsbeek, LMFT, a psychotherapist, to help you grow in the skills of virtuous living.

www.wisecraft.org

www.joshkalsbeek.com